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#this made me laugh really hard idk why
kinos-fortress-2 · 5 months
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idk comfort characters moment ig
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bumblingbabooshka · 10 months
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Workforce Tuvok is my cringefail babygirl
#why are you a Vulcan suffering from dysphoria syndrome?? So you can get held down by other men???#I really want to know what 'humorous anecdotes' he had to share.....I love him so much#I love that without his Vulcan discipline he becomes even more clearly annoying <3<3 explaining a joke TO the guy who TOLD IT to him#+ laughing SUPER hard at someone else being 'humiliated'#Also Janeway looooves being romantically quirky in an old romance movie way and idk how else to describe it#Neelix: If I had a tarynian nickle for everytime I had to rehabilitate a friend who'd lost all their memories I'd have two nickles#which isn't a lot but-#st voyager memes#bea art tag#OH! Janeway seems like she's two seconds away from swinging herself around a lamp post in the rain with a dazzling smile on her face#Workforce Tuvok (and thus normal Tuvok) contains so many multitudes...he is SO friendly he is VERY annoying he is SCARED of needles#he is OFF putting and PUSHY and he is KIND <3#He seems like if I made a mistake he'd VERY loudly laugh and point it out but also help me correct it while telling a story about himself#Literally a CRIME that Tuvok and Neelix didn't interact in this ep they would've become buds#another crime is that Tuvok does nothing in the second half of the episode v_v not even a little 'ribbon scene' at the end#Janeway: Thank you so much Chakotay and only Chakotay for helping get us all out of there <3#Tuvok in the background: ..........................................................................................#the 'ribbon scene' would have been between him and Seven - she completed the research he started v_v
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incorrectdmp · 1 year
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Percy: I’m not that stupid!
Charlie: Percy, you literally ate the wax from a babybel.
Percy: GRACE TOLD ME IT WAS EDIBLE!
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xumoonhao · 1 month
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first comment i ever got on a font i made and i….PLEASE…….
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hiatus-queen72 · 10 months
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This is my go to place to scroll when it's bed time. Idk what that says about me as a person, but here I am for my nightly serotonin 😗💕
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16-jarrah · 10 months
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i can't believe the moment that catches me so completely off-guard and makes me fucking bawl is a flashback scene between chuck and jimmy that i didn't expect to happen
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aquarri · 1 year
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#anon#there are very few people i truly hate on the earth and louis is not one of them#really my 'hate' for him comes from a place of love and the want for them to do better#because they deserve better! and they can achieve that#yeah recently i've been hating on him and have been 'unsupportive' but thats how i deal with people who are in my eyes being stupid#making poor decisions#its very hard for me to see something and brush it under the rug#(not supporting the doc bc i dont want a doc that isn't truly authentic or made without the public lies)#im not someone whos gonna sit back and laugh when i see something i dont like ya know?#(please dont call me a solo harrie bc i think you missed my hating harry holivia era :D that was a shit show and harry was acting stupid#and i said that and didnt support that either lol)#not that i need to justify anything but i complain about hshq and tour all the time#im not gonna hate on harry bc hes not pissing me off rn? lol#its tough love sorry anon ik my worth and what i deserve to give to people based on what they give back#is that parasocial? idk but i also dont need to blindly follow and act happy when im not?#also i hate the word “stan” im just here observing the drama talking on my little blog about millionaire men that annoy me sometimes#i really do want better for them thats why im here at least thats what brought me here#i do like louis or at least i liked what he stood for in previous years but idk both of them seem to be kind of lost at the moment#this just turned into a ramble but anon im not a solo harrie nor will i ever be#i would like to be called a hater larrie.#why would i be directing hater energy at harry when he just sang woman after louis did ~that~#im not gonna praise him for stunting with a 22 y/o playing daddy and releasing a copy lg doc lmao
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Behold, some really shitty pictures from my zoo trip today.
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sttoru · 2 months
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·.⌇ 𝐒𝐘𝐍𝐎𝐏𝐒𝐈𝐒. you’ve been one of sukuna’s many concubines for quite a while now. yet, you still cannot get rid of the jealousy in your system whenever he interacts with the other women in his harem.
wc. idk around 1 to 2k
tags. true form!sukuna x concubine!female reader. angst (hurt to comfort), fluff, suggestive at the end. heian era. you call sukuna ‘my lord’. reader gets called ‘brat, little girl’. size difference. no part2, don’t ask i beg. not beta read.
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“get back here, brat,” sukuna raises his voice as he follows you. he isn’t one to care about others’ emotional outbursts, yet here he is, chasing you after you’ve poured out your heart to him.
you don’t know why you’re this upset. you do know, however, that it’s childish of you to walk away mid dinner. you should’ve just stayed seated and refuse to let the thoughts consume you.
now you’re speed walking down the hallways of the estate—your legs carrying you as fast as they can without actually making a run for it. your mind keeps replaying the ‘unsettling’ scene that caused you to flee.
you remember it vividly. the sound of sukuna’s low, amused chuckle. how intrigued it was because of something another concubine told him—how he stopped chewing to say something back to her. which he rarely does.
hell, you’ve never seen him laugh around his other concubines.
“i do not wish to talk to you right now, my lord,” you reply, voice raised so the distance wouldn’t make it a hassle for the king of curses to hear you. you know that feisty attitude of yours entertains sukuna to no end.
he raises an eyebrow once he’s heard your voice; how it’s dripping with envy and hurt. you’ve never reacted like that before—at least not in his presence. it made him want to figure out why and how.
though, he can easily guess the reasoning behind your sudden defiance.
“oh, that so?” sukuna hums. he’s lenient with you this time around. he could catch up to you in under a split second, but he decides to give you that sense of accomplishment first before completely destroying it. he walks after you slowly, your fast steps being the same tempo as his slow pace.
you don’t answer. you’re stubborn. you have no right to feel jealous. you are a fairly new concubine—only a couple months ago did you join sukuna’s harem. yet, the time spent with him was precious.
he treats you differently. everyone notices that. everyone tells you the same. you know he does by the way he lets you off the hook with most stuff you say and do.
you don’t know what you did to gain his favouritsm, but it’s addicting. his attention is addictive. real addictive.
you had sworn not to develop any unneccessary feelings for that ruthless sorcerer. but, with the way sukuna treated you so gently behind closed doors, it was impossible not to.
you eventually reach the doors to your chambers. you slide them open and wish to close them behind you, only for a big hand to halt those movements. you freeze in place and refuse to look up at the owner of that said hand.
“look up,” sukuna demands. his voice causes goosebumps to appear on your arms, but you still don't budge. he clicks his tongue. that’s your first warning. two more and your punishment will be carried out, “we can do this the hard way too if you want.”
you turn your head, your fingers curling around the material of your kimono. you really should not feel this way about a little interaction between sukuna and his other concubine. that is none of your concern. what he does with those other women is none of your concern.
and yet. . .
“i don't want to,” you retort. sukuna walks into your room with a sigh. each step he takes forwards, you take backwards. your back finally bumps against the wall next to your bed.
sukuna towers over you, his tall and big frame making you feel vulnerable. especially with the way those red eyes of his are staring down at you. he crosses all four of his arms before speaking.
“tell me what’s running through that head of yours,” sukuna inquires sternly. he isn’t playing around anymore, you can tell. you glance the other way—knowing that he will laugh at you the moment you tell him why you’re upset.
you have a feeling he knows the reason behind your tantrum anyway.
“it’s nothing of importance, my lord,” you shake your head and relax your tense shoulders to make you seem less upset. your words have some truth in them—you don’t think your feelings of envy hold any value to him.
sukuna sighs again. he’s trying his best not to be annoyed at you. you’re his favorite and he wishes not to sadden you any further. he steps forwards, one hand moving to cup the side of your face.
his rough fingers play with a string of your hair, “i’m not stupid, little girl. i don’t like it when my woman is in distress.”
your heart skips a beat. this is what confuses you—how he can go from stern to gentle and vice versa. it’s surprisingly unexpected, which makes you long for more. even if his behaviour is confusing.
you look up at sukuna. your eyes meet for the first time in a good couple minutes. the corner of sukuna’s lips curls up into a satisfied smirk. that’s one step closer to getting you to open up.
“now,” the king of curses lowers his head to your eye level, the proximity all the more nerve wracking. he holds your jaw super tightly out of the blue. it makes you whimper.
“spit it out.”
there it is. the duality of the man strikes once more. you swallow the spit that’s been building up in your mouth. you bite your bottom lip lightly, trying to gather and form the right words to explain yourself.
sukuna wouldn’t understand. he’s a cold-hearted man who doesn’t care about such ‘trivial’ matters. he’ll just call you stupid, pathetic or whatever other derogatory term.
you stop your thoughts for a moment.
“it’s really just a stupid thing,” you mutter. your fingers curl around sukuna’s wrist—the one hand he’s using to firmly hold your jaw. you take a deep breath in, “i did not like it when you, errr. . . when that woman talked to you at the dinner table.”
your voice is clearly dripping with jealousy. pure, pure jealousy. and for what? because he talked to his other concubine. you feel stupid. you thought you discarded your personal feelings for the sorcerer before you the moment you turned into one of his many women.
“that woman?” sukuna tilts his head, feigning ignorance. that little grin on his face tells you enough. he’s playing with you like some form of entertainment. well, technically you are.
he wants you to be specific. he’s forcing you to be by acting like he doesn’t know what you’re talking about.
in all honesty, sukuna’s already forgotten what that woman had said to him. it wasn’t and still isn’t worth remembering. all he can recall is your adorable facial expression when you saw him interact like that with his other concubine.
that little frown on your face was priceless. it makes him want to keep teasing you.
“you know who i am talking about, my lord,” you huff, trying to look away, but get stopped by sukuna readjusting his grip on your jaw. he firmly yet gently taps your cheek once and you know what it means.
“attitude,” sukuna warns with a quick hiss. he can let you say whatever you want to him, but you also have some limits regarding which tone you use with him. you apologise quietly under your breath.
the king of curses nods in satisfaction before releasing the grip on your jaw. his large hand trails down to your neck, thumb rubbing up and down your throat, “so, my little girl is mad at me because i talked to another concubine of mine, huh?”
you nod mindlessly. sukuna can easily get you to comply with him—to obey his every word, simply with his actions. the terms of endearment he uses are the cherry on top. they slip off his tongue so easily with you.
“tsk tsk,” sukuna shakes his head. his hand is now on the back of your head, fingers tangled into your hair. he’s staring down at you with a smug expression. he knows he’s got you wrapped around his finger, “how childish of you.”
you knew that would be one of the things he’d say to you. what you didn’t expect is for him to go for a kiss right after. his lips land on yours firmly, and to no surprise, you instantly return the gesture.
your arms wrap around his neck—your chest pressing against his. sukuna wastes no time in picking you up and letting your legs encircle his waist. he’s not pulling away for air to breathe and you don’t either.
“you’re going to listen to me, yeah?” sukuna murmurs between passionate kisses. he’s holding onto you tightly with two arms, his free hands roaming over your body whilst he pins you against the wall.
when you whimper out a weak, high-pitched ‘yes, my lord’, he smirks against your mouth before turning to kiss your neck. he slightly bites the skin to make sure you’re paying attention to him.
“i don’t remember what that woman said,” sukuna continues, nearly out of breath because of the kisses he’s leaving all over you. he easily grabs both your wrists and pins them above your head on the wall, “i was too busy lookin’ at a much prettier concubine of mine.”
he pulls back a little so he can look you in the eyes. you’re panting and embarrassed by what he just said. one of his hands finds your face again, tracing the shape of your mouth.
“my favourite,” sukuna whispers whilst licking his lips. you can see it in his eyes: he’s silently planning out how he’s going to remind you of your place. your place as his favorite concubine.
he dips his head back down, aiming for the valley between your breasts. he closes his eyes before sucking on the surrounding flesh;
“guess i’ll be nice for once ‘nd show you just what it means to be my favorite so that you’ll never dare forget it again.”
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mx-paint · 8 months
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Deleted the post earlier bc I thought I was being stupid, but after seeing this shit for the fifth time in a half hour, I have to say that I really wish I lived in the supposed universe that the "anti-woke" people claim to live in by saying they can't have freedom of speech anymore because they can't be racist or homophobic or transphobic anymore or else they'll "be cancelled"
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the-hype-dragon · 9 months
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I watched a very bad movie called Sharks of the Corn, and it got me really thinking about like, how do you know if something is just plain bad vs done in a particular style? because while I was watching it I was like, well this sort of reminds me of a Lynch or a Shyamalan movie, awkward "realistic" dialogue and lingering shots of mundane actions and all, but you know, you get the sense that it's deliberate on Lynch's or Shyamalan's parts because a movie they've directed will be consistently like that; and Sharks of the Corn switches from mundane dialogue presented realistically to action movie quips to zany buddy comedy skits with no regard for consistency, which I think it really needed to be able to consider it an intentional horror-comedy instead of a very clumsy parody of Jaws and John Carpenter movies
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gloxk · 7 months
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Please give us sum eren & armin toxic hc Like armin and eren would be two different types of toxic. Ex!boyfriend eren blowing ur back out n sending it to ur bf or whoever ur talking to n ex!boyfriend armin not being able to take you talking to someone else so he fucks you a party or smth idk go crazy. 🤰🏾.
“Yeah my ex is crazy.”
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A/N: No bc they are two completely different types of toxic. Like idk how to explain it? I js feel like eren is the type of ex to be petty and trifling. But armin..omg..armin goes off the fucking deep end. But i love my lil psychos🤭.
WARNING!: A lil fluff , toxic behavior, unhealthy relationships, smut, unprotected s*x, Blackmailing, Mentions of offing someone, obsession, controlling, plus other things . +17 mdni
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EREN! Please for the love of god don’t let Eren find out you fucking with someone else. This man will go from nonchalant to crazy. “Oh word? This what we doing?”. He disregards the fact yall broke up a whole month ago.
He would definitely blow up your phone after seeing a post on instagram. “Who is he?” & “He fuck you better then me?”. Oh and please don’t tell him yes. Because let me warn you. He will be right there at that door knocking.
“You know you fucking lyin. But ight we gon see.” He hung up the phone and you laughed at him. Who gave this man an ego? Did he really think he was the only man with good dick?
You were confused when you heard a knock on your door but to your surprise, it was eren. “What the fuck?” he pushed right passed you walking into your apartment. “Nah, don’t fucking play with me y/n.” You could tell he was pissed just by his voice.
This man wasted no time bending you over the couch and fucking you right there.
“Nobody could fuck you better the me.” He grabbed a fists full of your hair pulling you up to his mouth.“You belong to me. Don’t ever let me find out there’s someone other than me fucking you like this.” and to be quite frank, nobody could fuck you like eren.
Eren talked you through the whole thing. He knew he was rough with you, but god he couldn’t help it. So that’s why he praised you for taking his dick so well <3.
He took out his phone and pressed record. His hard thrust drove lewd moans from your lips. “Fuck right there!” you screamed every time his hips slapped your ass. He made sure he got glimpse of your face so the guy knew it was you. He made sure you screamed his name just to prove who you belonged to.
You got so many miss calls while eren fucked you to sleep. Every time ole boy called eren went faster. <3
You woke up alone, your bed empty. Your phone notifications were through the roof. Over 100 notifications from that guy. It was crazy. But a simple text from eren stuck out. “Let me hear word about you fucking w some again. Next time ima put em in a casket.”
You weren’t sure if he was joking or not. But one thing you did know was he made every threat a promise. And he always kept his promises.
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ARMIN! Lawd, you let armin find out you even thought about some one else fucking you, it was over.
This man went full psychotic when word got to him about you talking to someone guy. Apparently you were at a party grinding all up against him.
The first thing armin did was collect every drop of information he had on this guy. His home address, His mother’s facebook, His phone number, Job number. He knew too much on the fucker who decided to touch his pretty “girlfriend”.
It pissed him off, how dare you try to replace him. He blew up your phone to the point it crashed. “That’s so fucking cute, y/n. You think that you can just go fuck some other guy?” , “Please don’t make me do something crazy.” . The crazy part was you didn’t even fuck the guy, he was just fucking crazy. He always assumed you were cheating for some reason.
When you didn’t answer his calls he pulled up expeditiously. if you didn’t answer within the 30 minute window he wouldn’t wait to show up to your door.
“Y/n open this goddamn door.” He banged on the door. It was 2 am- oh yeah he knew you had work later, he didn’t care.
As soon as you open the door an argument ensued. “Pick up the fucking phone when I call you y/n” He yelled at you slamming the door behind him. “You ain’t my fucking boyfriend Armin. Ion gotta do shit.”
He never made you regret your words so fast. His nails dug into your hips as his pace increased. “Ain’t yo fucking boyfriend huh? Then why you letting me fuck you raw?”
Your bed was a mess after he made you cum over and over again. After he was done all you could do was mumble incoherently ‘Nobody is better then you’. He was rough but his after care made up for it <3.
He kissed your forehead before he nuzzled into your chest. “You’re the best I ever had.” he soon fell asleep after those words left his mouth.
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I love my cute lil crazy guys <3
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bth3cowboi · 24 days
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paint me in lovely red, mv1xreader
masterlist
pairing: max verstappen x artist!reader
summary: a tiny slip can make your most beautiful secrets public. Sometimes the slip comes in the form of a painting, sometimes the secret is a relationship with a world champion.
format: social media au
a/n: all paintings used here were made by Malcolm Liepke! Part 1/?
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( instagram )
verstappen1updates
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liked by fanuser and 500,233 others
verstappen1updates Max just admitted that he’s in a relationship on stream! Transcript of the clip for those asking:
G: Max, they’re asking about the new painting in the background. I haven’t seen it before either.
M: Ah yes, that was a gift for the championship win from- [Stops to keep driving]. Well, my girlfriend really.
G: [Laughs] That’s cute, she’s great at painting. Oh- they’re surprised now- [Laughs] about your girl.
M: Ah- We just like to keep to ourselves, mate.
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user1 YO WHAT???
user2 and just like that we’ve lost him🥲
user3 u don’t know that man
user2 a girl can dream…
user4 sooo whos the girl?? I want to know noww
user5 a whole picture of his winning car??? she must be HOOKED
user6 after that season i cant blame her
( twitter )
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( instagram )
yourusername
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liked by maxverstappen1 and others
yourusername Spring is coming so new prints are out on my online shop!! Make sure to check them out💛🧡🍋
From the vault: “my yellow mirror II”, oil on canvas, 18x24. Also: my bike, me.
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user1 I just came expecting more Max honestly
user2 SAME
user3 the only thing interesting on this page
user4 ok seeing her now I get why Max let her paint him like that😂 shes cute
user5 paint me like one of your french girls- max, probably
yourfriend beautiful as always Yn🥹🫶 only focus on that
liked by yourusername and maxverstappen1
yourusername thanks bby🫶
user6 oh girl stop being so dramaticcc
user7 drop the painting of the car instead, this is boring
user8 i get it know, date rich so you can afford to do your silly paintings🤯
maxverstappen1 just lovely
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( messages )
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inthef1paddock
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inthef1paddock Max Verstappen and girlfriend Yn Ln caught together after she arrived to Melbourne for the Australian GP.
The driver had to ask through his instagram stories for fans to respect their privacy and Yn’s career after people flooded her social media with disrepectful comments, he did so by posting this selfie.
Mean comments will be deleted.❤️
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user1 People are so rude, its obvious they love each other
user2 Oh that hug🥹 what a lucky girl
user3 Did you see the video? He RAN to her, shes blessed
user4 idk she still seems weird…
lando.jpg
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liked by yourusername, danielricciardo and 698.442 others
lando.jpg 🇦🇺 nights
tagged charlesleclerc, maxverstappen1 and yourusername;
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user1 last photo made me SCREAM, MAX???
user2 Lando is so crazy for this lol
user3 From Charles dropping it low to a hard launch he knows his public
charles_leclerc 😎😎
yourusername 🕺🕺📸📸
charles_leclerc You mean 💋💋📸📸?
maxverstappen1 Lando wont post those because he is lonely and he will cry
landonorris mate thats not true
yourusername its ok to be single lando we dont care you cried to our happy photos
landonorris I did NOT cry 🤢 you guys made me sickkkkk
charles_leclerc sick to tears
maxverstappen1 😂😂
landonorris Stoppp
landonorris Dont know what its worse, the kissy photos or the porn paintings
yourusername not porn🖕
maxverstappen1 Dont be rude🖕
yourusername I will paint you crying now idc you crybaby
landonorris Sure😂
charlesleclerc Famous last words
user4 its ok Lando I will take 💋 pictures with you
user5 me toooo, I volunteer 🤩
maxverstappen1 Please send me the rest of Yn’s photos👍
liked by landonorris and 5021 others
user6 oh wow i get lando now this is so sweet its sick😭
yourusername
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yourusername “Lando Norris, the crybaby”, oil on canvas, 24x30.
Prints will be available online soon🧡
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user1 Oh she ate this one up😭😭
landonorris NO YN
landonorris YN THIS IS SO MEAN
landonorris why would you do this😭😭 I didnt think you were serious
yourusername See, crybaby
carlossainz55 Dont worry Landito you dont look too bad
landonorris 😭😭😭
user3 LMFAO THIS IS SO FUNNY
user2 the devil work fast, but yn works faster
danielricciardo Jesus how much for this one, I will give ANYTHING
charlesleclerc No man ask for your own, this one is mine
maxverstappen1 This is not leaving my house👍 good luck
charles_leclerc WHAT? NOT FAIR, YN I WILL PAY TOO MUCH
danielricciardo Whatever he pays I will give double
yourusername Sorry its been bought already
charles_leclerc ???
mclaren Thank you Yn, this will look great in our hall 🧡🧡
yourusername 🧡🫶
landonorris WHAT
charles_leclerc oh my god
landonorris NO WAY
user4 SOLD TO MCLAREN? this is a fever dream
user5 I, too, want a portrait of me kissing max verstappen
user6 I respect Yn so much, cause she went from making tittie art of her bf to paint their friend crying while they makeout in the background
maxverstappen1 Lovely😂
maxverstappen1 Can I request one but without the crybaby?
yourusername I have a few already 🤔 whats one moree
user7 DROP THEM, I KNOW YOU HAVE THE HOT ONES TOO
charles_leclerc Dont drop them please think of the children
yourusername wow youre so boring
maxverstappen1 Make fun of him on a painting for that baby
danielricciardo I will pay for that one this time
charles_leclerc God no have mercy
yourusername dont worry i wont do that, being a ferrari driver is punishment enough
charles_leclerc 😐
landonorris LOL DESERVED
maxverstappen1 Love you my Yn❤️❤️
yourusername love you too🥹🥹
——
a/n: Thank you for reading!!! I might do a second part to this fic, I think there is so much more to do with the plot so if anyone is interesed make sure to stick around❤️🥹 My inbox is now open if anyone has suggestions or ideas they want to se me writw!
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luveline · 25 days
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also didn’t realise that amanda was their little baby but here’s an idea if ur up for it. amanda inherits like spencer’s smartness i guess and so when she starts spewing facts about the random-est stuff spencer’s overjoyed and then bombshells just staring at them with adoration in her eyes?? idk something really fluffy
“Shoes?” Amanda asks. 
“Yeah, babe.” 
“No thanks.” 
You hold Amanda’s socked feet in your hands. “You need shoes to keep your feet warm.” 
“I’ll have socks.” 
You look past her tiny face to her father for some assistance. Spencer scratches his neck, looking absolutely exhausted, though he’s dressed sharply. You’d spent a few minutes finger curling his hair this morning before it dried, and he’s brushed them out gently, giving him a windblown look. You pretend to take a photo of him. He rolls his eyes. 
“Amy,” he says lovingly, baby-voice in play as he leans over the back of the couch, “you know why you have to wear shoes?” 
“Why?” 
“Because growing up, your feet are very small, and very fragile. They need time to grow in proper structures, and they can’t do that if you don’t wear shoes when you’re walking a lot.” He gives her shoulder a rub. “Don’t you wanna match me and mommy?” 
“You wear shoes… different. Mom has heels,” she insists. 
“What if I wear flats?” you ask, eager to leave the house before afternoon. 
She shakes her head, crossing her arms over her chest with a Spencer style pout. 
Spencer sits down next to her with a sigh. You’re both aware of how smart she is for her age, and while it can be interesting, it’s also made some stuff so, so hard. Like explaining shoes. “I’m not want to wear them. It’s good for my skin to breathe.” All her r’s sound soft, like w’s.
You rub your eyes. Spencer sucks in an excited breath. “Yes! Skin can’t really breathe, but it’s good to have it uncovered sometimes to help your circulation and your pores.” 
“‘Xactly,” Amy says. 
“And, you know, shoes that don’t fit right force your feet into narrow positions, which can cause a whole bunch of problems.” 
“No shoes,” Amy says. 
“But…” Spencer backtracks, thumbing under her eyelashes gently. “If you don’t wear your shoes, we can’t go out to the store for groceries and we can’t go to the bakery on the way home. Which means you won’t get your sugar donuts, mommy won’t get her slice of cake, and that’s gonna make me so sad.” 
“Why?” 
“Because I love when your mom is happy. It makes me happy when she’s happy. She doesn’t look very happy now, does she?” 
In all honesty, you’re much too pretty to be sitting on the floor, tights to the carpeting and your cute black dress bunching up your thighs. You refuse to close yourself into the ‘mom’ box some may expect of you, dressing as you had before you became a mom, but you’ve allowed Amanda the opportunity to choose your necklace; a gold pendant ring with green and pink sapphires. It’s gorgeous, colourful, and doesn’t even slightly go with your outfit. Spencer reaches for it now, tugging it straight carefully against your neck. 
You frown deeply, pulling your widest, softest doe eyes. “Please, lovely girl, put your shoes on. Or I’m gonna have to be strict, and I hate being strict.” 
“Don’t fw-own, mommy,” she says, listing into Spencer’s side, “you’ll get wrinkles. Worse wrinkles, ‘cos your muscles remember.” 
And again, all her r’s are w’s, her pronunciation lispy and sweet despite her amazing expertise. Spencer laughs and takes her face into two hands, kissing “Wow, smarty pants,” into her crown. “You’re so smart! I can’t believe it!” 
You feel your annoyance softening. Fine, she’s a smarty pants, and you secretly love it so so much. You’ll just have to carry her to the car. Or her genius dad can carry her. Actually, that could be great, Spencer’s never looked so handsome as he does carrying around your little baby, especially now he’s started working out every now and then. 
“Better role your sleeves up, Spence,” you say, standing up off of your knees. “I’m keeping my heels on. Daddy’s gonna carry you, and you’re gonna get wonky feet.” 
“That’s fine,” Spencer says to her in a whisper, “I’ll carry you forever if you want me to, even if you do get all wonky, bubby.”  
Amy preens as she wraps her arms around him and he picks her up. He takes her shoes from your hand without her seeing. 
“Isn’t she amazing?” he mouths, and he means it, his eyes wide with it. 
“She’s gonna protest socks, next, Spencer Reid, and then what are you gonna do?” you ask. You aren’t half as concerned as you’re pretending to be. Amy’s a baby. She’ll learn how important shoes are soon enough. 
“I’m gonna hold her in my coat, like this,” he says, pulling his coat over her legs. 
“Like that,” you say to yourself, grinning. “Okay, you two do what you want. Can we go now? We really need to get some groceries.” 
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nereidprinc3ss · 1 month
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toaster waffles
in which spencer is woken up by fem!reader and their young daughter after being away on a case
fluff warnings/tags: none really, a bit of suggestiveness between spencer and reader but nothing explicit, their daughter is a genius duh, i love dad!spence so fucking much holy shit a/n: i wrote this in like thirty minutes so good luck! just needed to write dad spencer it just needed to happen idk
“No—baby, we have to let daddy sleep in,” you chide your daughter, jogging to catch her as she races down the hallway on clumsy little legs. 
“No! I wanna see daddy!” She yells—and if Spencer wasn’t awake yet, he will be now. You give in, opening the bedroom door for Ada with a fond (exasperated) sigh. 
“Daddy! Daddy wake up!” 
He blinks sleepily several times, sitting up and grinning at his daughter as she attempts to climb up onto the bed. 
“Hi, princess,” he laughs, grunting dramatically as he pulls her up onto his lap. “Oh my gosh, did you get all grown up while I was gone?”
He catches your eye as you stop at the foot of the bed, arms folded and mouthing an amused ‘I’m sorry.’ Spencer smiles and almost imperceptibly shakes his head, eyes sparkling as Ada attempts to use him as playground equipment. No apology necessary. 
“I made you breakfast!” she remembers, grabbing onto his shoulders and springing up and down on the bed. His eyes go wide. 
“You did? Where is it?”
“Oh no!” she claps her hands to her cheeks and opens her mouth wide, Home Alone style. Spencer laughs. “I forgot it!”
Then she’s wriggling off the bed and running as fast as her little feet will carry her, presumably to the kitchen. 
“You like cold toaster waffles, right?” you tease, approaching the bed and filling the now empty seat that is Spencer’s lap. His hands find your waist as you wrap your arms around his neck. 
“I would go so far as to say I love them. Hi, baby.”
“Hi,” you murmur, resting your head on his shoulder. “I missed you. I forgot how hard it is when you’re gone.”
He hums, running his hand over your hair. 
“I know. Me too.” Spencer now only consults on cases, and very rarely is he actually obliged to travel with the BAU. It was never easy before, but now that you have a child, it takes more out of everyone. “Hey. Look at me.”
You do, lifting your head and meeting his soft gaze. He leans forward and captures your lips in a gentle kiss, brushing his thumb over your cheek before pulling away. “I love you. Thank you for taking care of the progeny while I was away. I know it’s not easy on your own.”
“Eh. She’s alright. She reads to me at bedtime.”
Spencer grins, eyes darting back to your lips. Several quick kisses are pressed there in succession, and it’s not exactly how he wanted to say good morning to you but that will have to wait until later. 
“Ewww!” 
Ada is at the door again, waffle in hand, making a half-disgust half-delight face before prancing back to the bed and receiving another airlift from Spencer up onto the mattress. 
“What do you mean, ew?” he asks in mock offense as her legs swing in the air. “You’re next!”
You watch in unadulterated joy as he peppers little kisses all over her face and she pretends to hate it, squealing with glee.
“Is that for me?” he asks once she’s comfortably sharing his lap with you, pointing to the forgotten waffle. She holds it up, pressing the disk against his lips. Spencer takes a bite, makes an exaggerated yum sound, and kisses her forehead once more. “Thank you. That was delicious.”
“You have to eat all of it so you’ll grow up big and strong.”
“Oh, okay. I’ll do that. Why don’t you leave it on the nightstand and go find a book we can read together?”
“Game of Thrones!”
“No!” he laughs. “That book is way too grownup for you!”
“But I read the first three pages!”
“I know you did. And Auntie Penelope is still in big trouble for that. Go get Lord of the Rings.”
Full of energy despite the early hour, Ada skitters off again to find the book. 
“She’s too smart for her own good,” you sigh, listening to her making up a song as she picks through the book shelf in the next room. 
“Intelligence is generally more nurture than nature. If we act fast we could probably stunt her IQ to just two or three standard deviations above the average.”
You giggle, straddling him as he slips his hand under your shirt to rub your back. Then you try to school your features into a serious expression.
“Not funny.”
That big, lazy grin might never fade—and you’d be happy to look at it forever. 
“You’re right. Not funny at all.”
“Hey,” you remember, grabbing his biceps. He raises his eyebrows expectantly. “I was gonna make you real breakfast. What do you want?”
“You don’t have to do that.”
“I know I don’t. I want to. So tell me what you want.”
“Anything other than a toaster waffle.”
You snort, moving to slide off the bed. 
“We can probably make that happen.”
“Hey—" he catches your waist, pulling you closer. “Penelope is taking Ada to the park this afternoon. We’re gonna spend some time together, okay?”
After having an entire child together, you still get butterflies when he looks at you like that. 
“What if I have plans this afternoon?”
Spencer doesn’t even look mildly concerned—just tilts his head, brushes his thumb over your lips. 
“Then I’m asking you to cancel them, pretty girl. I owe you some undivided attention.”
You chew on your lip. It’s embarrassing how easily he can still fluster you. 
“Right now I have to go find out why our child is being so quiet.”
He laughs, letting you slip from his grasp for good. 
“She probably got into the Stephen King again.”
You pick up the waffle and gesture at him with it emphatically as you walk away.
“This is all your fault.”
“Mm… let’s call it a team effort.”
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noxtivagus · 1 year
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4:44 am late night thoughts under cut bcs i want to talk so much but tags reached way above cap c:
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#🤍#🌙.thoughts#GENUINELY I'M DOING GOOD RN. DEFINITELY. /gen#i just have a lot of thoughts. i find myself rambling a lot every time i start writing in tags oh dear#these r very intimate thoughts of mine at this very late hour#i don't mind though. here online. maybe to whoever may read it they could see some part of themselves in it#i've always loved the ways n possibilities of how we may influence each other in this world#one reason why i write. & why i share. is to make my own opportunity of that possibility w others#sometimes actually w my attunement for these deeper intricacies in life i wonder if i'm even. idk normally fun to be around#but i've had ppl say i'm funny. i've made people laugh n smile. maybe that's proof enough for me that my existence#was loved in those moments. even now maybe for just. being who i am. maybe it really is true.#i find it hard to believe i don't think such beauty is meant for me.#but i think. ultimately. i do deserve the same things that. i think others deserve. i deserve it too.#yeah often i feel like i don't belong in this world but this is enough to keep me going. me. & you.#everything in my worlds. in this universe. & everyone in my life. yeah. life goes by far too fast for hesitation and regrets.#i think it's so beautiful how in a way. you n i. we're so similar yet so different. i wnt to learn sm more abt everyone/everything around m#i think i wna make a sideblog for stuff like this. i realize at heart i'm genuinely a person fond of sharing their thoughts n emotions#i've rambled to myself a lot before in threads in discord servers w friends. in my own discord server. & in tumblr tags#i'm not used to people interacting to it. or being necessarily listened to. or knowing that i am read and seen but i don't really need that#i live like this for me. first and foremost. this is one part of my own inner world#oh god usually i definitely don't talk this much though but it's really really late at night ( early morning )#i'll try not to delete this when i wake up bcs even if i get shy or embarrassed then that'll change nothing deep down#n it's not like it'll directly impact my life yeah? i should have nothing to fear#that ffxiv friend i spent time with earlier today said they'll challenge their shyness#motivated me more to do the same. it's hard n it gets uncomfortable at times n i will experience drawbacks but#i will work hard to challenge myself & become a better person. to forge ahead as i always have.#this is part of who i've always been & part of who i'm growing to be.#why should i hide? in hindsight i will definitely learn to manage it better bcs i should keep my life more private to be safe but#rn tonight i don't think i'll worry. not now. THAT SAID THOUGH i will actually sleep vvv soon fr now c:#oh my god last thought though but i'm rlly rlly curious of others too.... but that's enough thinking for tonight. i will sleep Soon ><
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