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#this means my guesses weren’t wrong… YET
tojikai · 8 months
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Sundered 3: MIRRORS
Pairing: Gojo x reader
Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 |...+
Genre: Angst
tags/cw: angst, mean!gojo(kinda), babydaddy!gojo, babymomma!reader, motherhood, insecurities, suggestive smut
word count: 6.8k
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He’s the one who picked this pace so he got no business complaining.
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“Think you know who I am now?” Satoru’s eyes scanned the marks on the man’s skin, hearing the sound of his own teeth grinding against each other. It gave him a painful yet tingling sensation in his mouth, sending weakness to his jaws as he found himself stepping forward to invade the space that the stranger made for himself inside your house. 
“I guess you do if you’re coming at me like that.” The man chuckled, standing his ground as he straightened up, almost chest-to-chest with Satoru. The smirk on his scarred lips remained unfaltering and his eyes glimmered with a mix of mischief and displeasure. Satoru can’t even tell if he’s playing with him but he can’t just let him disrespect him like that. 
“You just really wanna be rude, man.” Satoru hissed through clenched teeth, hearing the stranger chuckle, clearly enjoying his irritation. He could’ve been on friendlier terms if he didn’t act like he own the place. “What’s wrong with asking who you are? If anything you’re the one who interrupted our morning session-” With a sharp intake of breath Satoru balled his fists tighter.
He would’ve swung a punch if it weren’t for the figure of a woman in an oversized shirt coming into view. “Satoru?” He looked over to see you and your worried face. Your hair was a mess, having just got out of bed but it didn’t dull your glow. Whose shirt is that you’re wearing? He was sure he didn’t leave any clothing of the same appearance here. Why are you just in your underwear when another man is in the house and where is Yui?
Now, Satoru isn’t dumb but those questions in his head were just him wanting to hear answers from you instead of believing the stupid man who opened the door for him. “I didn’t think you’d be here earlier. Yui stayed with Mom last night.” Your voice was soft as you spoke to him and so are your sleepy eyes. Like he didn’t just break your heart a couple of weeks ago. 
There was no trace of resentment in your features and Satoru wished it was just that, instead of concern gracing your face as you pulled the stranger’s hand before checking his face. Won’t you check me too? He wanted to ask but he bit his tongue, looking away from the sight. What was he expecting? He doesn’t want that anyway. Naomi wouldn’t put him in this situation. 
“I’m gonna call Mom, they should be on their way here.” Satoru eyed the man as you walked together to the kitchen, leaving him in the small living room. His hands were on your waist and by the size of the shirt, it was obviously his. “Do you make Yui stay with Mom, now?” Satoru spoke, annoyance prominent in his voice as he followed the two of you.
“No, it was my Mom’s birthday yesterday and she wanted to spend some time with Yui, so I let her.” You explained, keeping your eyes on him before glancing over at the guy who was now walking to your fridge in his sweatpants. “This…He’s Toji. I, uh, met him a few weeks ago.” Satoru bit his lip, before nodding slowly as if coming to a realization.
“He’s a new friend?” Satoru leaned on a nearby wall so as to appear as cool as he can be. “For now.” Toji chanted, winking at you. It got Satoru frowning, eyebrows coming together as he bit the inside of his cheeks. “Nice to meet you.” Toji stood in front of him, reaching out a hand as if they didn’t try to throw fists at one another earlier. Satoru isn't fond of his attitude. 
“Satoru. I’m the father of her child, ex-boyfriend.” There was an emphasis in his words, filled with a tiny bit of animosity compared to his smiling face. Satoru could see you taking a deep breath when he reached for Toji’s hand, shaking it. It took everything in Satoru not to squeeze too hard, controlling his temper as he got a closer look at the guy. 
Green eyes that look like they were always glaring; the complete opposite of his. Especially the dark hair and the scar on the side of his lips which made his smirks even more aggravating. No guy would want their wife in the same room as him. He looks a bit rough but Satoru can tell why you’re with the guy.
The supposed to be “peace offering” and “friendly shake hands” quickly turned into a stare-off between the two of them, like giving each other unspoken warnings. Satoru’s pretty sure that you can feel the air in the house get thicker as you cleared your throat, trying to get their attention away from each other.
“I know who you are, I just wanted to make sure.” Toji confessed but before the situation escalates any further, you spoke, “I, uh, would you like something while waiting for—” It was obvious that you were desperate for a way to keep him and Toji apart. You don’t really ask him that, and almost as if on cue, the door opened to reveal your mother and his baby girl. 
“Let me change real quick.” You whispered, before pulling Toji inside your room. His baby girl squealed at him, completely unaware of what has been going on before they came in.
“You’re early.” Your mother spoke to him as he gave her a small smile of courtesy. Satoru knows that your mother wanted to be rude to him; she probably wanted to slap him when they first met after your fight, but she’s not that type of woman. She can be very indifferent, but never hostile.
“Hi!” Satoru heard your daughter speak to Toji when he walked out of the room in a t-shirt now. The little girl giggled as he waved back at her. So, this isn’t the first time she saw him, he thought. “Yes, Mom. I can’t waste an hour to be with this angel.” He nodded at your mother, fixing the zipper of Yui’s jacket before taking the baby bag.
“Thank you, Mom. Did I rush you? Sorry about that.” You apologized. Satoru can notice the blush on your cheeks as you fix your hair so it was covering the side of your neck. Satoru couldn’t stop his brain from making up scenarios of what could’ve possibly happened in the short amount that you were in the room with that man, dressing up. 
Your eyes met his as you fixed your daughter’s hat making her reach out her hands to you, urging you to hold her. You took Yui from Satoru giving her cheeks tiny kisses which made her smile, hugging your neck and placing her head on your shoulders. Toji made faces at the toddler, making her giggle joyfully. 
For some reason, the whole scene doesn’t sit right with Satoru, so he focused on checking her things instead, all while cursing to himself. “We were already on our way, it’s fine. Have you made Toji breakfast?” Your mother smiled at Toji, and it made Satoru wonder if you felt like this during the few dinners where his Mom would sit next to Naomi and ignore you the whole night. 
Yui was still too young and was not used to being away from you. He and Naomi also just started dating then. You know there was no point to have you there but your daughter just won’t go without you. Satoru remembered you sitting on the corner of the spacious living room as his mother held his daughter in her lap, entertaining his new girlfriend. 
Although his father isn’t as bad, he’s too busy catching up with other relatives to chit-chat with you. His cousins kept you company but it was only a matter of time before they move on to something you can’t relate to.
There was one time when they took the family pictures while you were in the bathroom and when you came back, you had to stand there and watch them. Naomi was standing beside Satoru as she carried Yui. You shrugged it off when Satoru tried to apologized. You though that it was only right because you’re not even part of their family anymore since you two broke up. But Satoru could see right through you. 
You wouldn’t be faking a smile if it didn’t hurt you.
“I’m going to cook, Ma’am. Let’s all eat together.” Satoru can tell that your mother was fond of Toji with the way she’s smiling at him. She used to be like that to Satoru too, even going as far as sending homecooked foods for his Mom and Dad which you knew they never ate. You just never said anything because you didn’t want to start something and you didn't want to hurt your mother’s feelings.
“Oh, I have to go to a friend’s house, sadly.” Your mother checked her watch before clicking her tongue, “Maybe next time, son.” With that, your mother bid farewell to all of you, albeit a little coldly towards Satoru. There was an eerie silence save from your daughter’s laugh as she caressed your face.
“You ready to leave with Dada?” You spoke as you leaned her towards Satoru, allowing the man to take her from you. “Let’s go, now, love. Naomi is waiting for you.” He cooed at her as she buried her face in his neck, smiling while she peaked at him “I’ll bring Megumi next time so, you can play, okay?” Toji pulled your body close to him, chuckling at how your daughter screamed in excitement, kicking her little legs.
Satoru wanted to roll his eyes as he watched Toji subtly caress and squeeze your waist.
Satoru kissed Yui’s head, pulling stray hairs away from her face to stop himself from saying something he shouldn’t. He’s just so ill-mannered, it’s making Satoru want to warn you about him. He can see how comfortable Yui is with Toji which provoked the questions he’d been keeping to spill out of his mouth.
“I’m gonna cook breakfast.” Toji tapped your behind as he walked away. Satoru didn’t appreciate that but he’s glad the he left. He needs answers. He knows that he’s in no place to demand, but Satoru wants to know if Toji’s arrogance matched his place in your life. As soon as Toji walked far enough, Satoru stepped closer to you.
“Since when?” He asked, gentle eyes watching your daughter as she now plays with his hair. You looked at him for a moment, blinking as you think. “Can’t remember. It’s nothing official, we’d just been hanging around each other during free time and we…” You trailed and Satoru looked away, avoiding your eyes. He doesn’t know if he wants to hear that come from you. His eyes already saw it. He nodded slowly, breathing in as he licked his lips before swallowing.
“That’s good… good for you.” He doesn’t know what else to say. What else should he say? That he’s happy for you? Yeah, he’s definitely happy for you. Now, there’ll be better harmony between everyone because you can now feel how Satoru feels about Naomi, right? You can finally understand. That’s it. This is a relief, he thought as he smiled. 
Satoru was staring at you but his mind was out of it. He can see it in your face. You’re glowing. That Toji guy must’ve been treating you so well even if it’s only been for a few weeks. Satoru can’t even bring himself to feel angry. 
This is how you must’ve felt when you saw him and Naomi that day. This is how affronted and helpless you must’ve felt. 
How you tried so hard to stand your ground as you looked at the two of them being the couple that you should’ve been to each other, watching him save Naomi’s face due to how you saw them and your first impression of her. Seeing him rub on your face that you’re over and he can finally do what he wants. Realizing that he never meant any fucking word he promised to you…
He felt like he cheated that time and he said that to Naomi. He felt like he betrayed not only you but also his daughter. But her words didn’t fail to calm him down. “We can figure everything out together, Satoru. We’ll solve this; all of us.”  She shushed as she put her head on his bare chest. The image of your face, void of emotion but with your broken heart reflected in your eyes was as clear as a day.
This is how you must’ve felt and it’s not fucking nice because if it was, Satoru wouldn’t be holding his breath right now, seeing the hickey you’ve been hiding peek between the strands of your hair when you moved towards him to kiss Yui’s forehead. “Be a good girl, ok?” She was singing something none of you can understand but definitely made you laugh. She’s growing so fast and everything’s changing so fast as well. He wondered if he could keep up. 
He’s the one who picked this pace so he got no business complaining.
—------------------------------------------
Earlier that morning
You woke up to kisses on your shoulders as your eyes twitched against the morning light coming through the slits of the Venetian blinds. The first thing you saw was the luminous lines on the floor, making you sigh as you observe the pale hue. It’s still early, you thought as you felt a calloused hand traveling across your waist to caress your stomach. It made you relax, reaching over to touch the back of Toji’s neck as his kisses moved up to your nape.
You first got to know Toji when came to the cafe where you work one rainy morning, you recognized him to be the man at the toy store. His baby boy was in a small raincoat and boots and he was wearing an expensive-looking coat. You already know that he bought the playpen that day, making you wish they still have some left in stock.
“Stomp your boots, come on. Good boy.” He coached his son, holding his hand to prevent him from slipping as he jumped on the mat to get the wetness off his blue rain boots. His cheeks were chubby and red, it reminded you of you. With just one look, one can already tell that he’s his father’s son. He took the raincoat off the little boy and his placing it on a nearby rack. 
When he looked up, your eyes met, making him narrow his, as he tilted his head. He’s trying to remember where he saw your face and he’s shamelessly doing that. He definitely knows that he looks good. You thought before quickly shaking your head, feeling bad that you’re thinking of someone else’s husband like that. 
“Good day, sir! What can I get for you?” You spoke as he stood on the other side of the counter, scanning your features. It made you feel slightly conscious, fixing your hair subtly as you tried to hide the awkwardness in your smile. “It’s you, how’s your daughter?” You looked at him with mouth slightly ajar, did he just ask how your daughter is without even meeting her? He’s a funny man, you thought,
“You said you’d but a gift for your daughter back in the toy store so, I wanna know how she is.” He clarified bending down to pick up his little boy. The kid caressed his round tummy wordlessly, staring blankly at the menu. “U-uh, she’s okay, sir. Thank you. I was trying to remember where I saw you.” You lied, typing away at the machine to prepare for his order. 
“I’ll have Long Black and a blueberry cupcake for this little dude, that’s what you like?” The man pointed at the menu and the eyes of the kid sparkled as he stared at it. “Yep, he’s having that.” You nodded, avoiding his gaze as you looked down, tucking your hair behind your ear. “I’m Toji, by the way. This is my son, Megumi.” Is he befriending you? You looked at this hand for a few seconds before you came to your senses.
“Y/N.” Shaking his hand, you watched a small smile form on his lips, “Sorry, I was just a bit…surprised.” You laughed nervously, passing their orders to the other staff. “Have a seat, sir. Your orders will be served as soon as it’s ready.” You smiled up at him. They sat at the nearest table with the kid, looking at you. You watched Toji feed his child from a couple of meters away. 
Yui and Satoru must look like this when they’re having a day out. The thought made your heart ache with both joy and pining.
“I’ll see you around, Y/N.” He bid farewell to you after getting a takeout for his son. “Bye-bye,” You were surprised when the little boy waved at you. Albeit without a smile, he was waving his tiny hands enthusiastically. Since then, Toji and Megumi have been coming to the cafe every other day. That's how you got close to them.
You found out that Toji’s wife passed away during childbirth so, it’s only him and the 3-year-old Megumi. Like Satoru, he came from a well-off family. He owns a branch of his father’s business. You also told him about what happened between you and Satoru. Well, a little sugar-coated version of it, because you didn’t want to seem like you were just looking for sympathy but he still caught on. 
Megumi and Yui became playmates. She was deeply amazed by his toys, which Toji decided to share with her, letting the kid take some of them home. Their house was huge, and in Megumi’s playroom was the playpen you were checking out at the store, but the bigger version. Those few weeks felt like months due to how much you learned about each other. And that led to this moment. 
You weren’t supposed to invite Toji over but you ran into him while you were shopping for groceries. And just like you, it just so happens that his son was sleeping over at his parents’ with his cousins. You thought that inviting him over wouldn’t be so bad. You both didn’t have to eat alone in your homes. You know that Toji’s been interested in you but you paid no mind to it, not wanting to seem like you’re just desperate to have someone.
But that night was different. No alcohol was involved yet, you both drowned in each other’s presence.
The next thing you knew, you were moaning under him as he suckles on your skin. The sounds of his pants and your whimpers filled the place and your bed has never felt so small yet, so warm. His hands wandered places you never thought could feel the way they did when he touched them. 
“Fuck, Y/N.” He grunted for what seemed like a millionth time in your ear, pulling you closer as if being skin-to-skin wasn’t close enough. His lips felt soft and gentle against yours as he caught your delicious cries of his name. It’s been so long since you were handled with care. The way he moved within you was enough to take you to cloud nine. 
Once again, a simple night became another turning point in your life and this time, you hoped that it would be for the better.
“What do you want for breakfast?” You turned over, burying your face in his naked chest, remembering the events that occurred the previous night. You felt his fingers tracing your sides, gliding down your behind before grabbing a handful, making you slap his arm light. “This is what I want for mornings.” He chuckled, tangling his legs with yours.
“I gotta go to the bathroom.” You quickly stood up, forgetting about your state. You ended up wincing as you sit down, eliciting a laugh from Toji before he got up, carrying you bridal style to the bathroom. After washing up, you gave him a new extra brush, watching him watch you in the mirror. He could cover your whole body with his by how much bigger he is than you. You blushed as you reckoned the number of positions he had you in last night.
“What?” He smirked at you, washing the water down his face. You shook your head as you finished brushing your teeth. You stood there naked, with Toji ghosting behind you in nothing but his sweatpants.”This is unfair, why are you in your sweatpants already and I’m still naked?” You turned to look up at him, pushing your hair back. As if on instinct, his hands were automatically on your hips.
“I can take this off if you want.” He joked, tilting your head up to give you a slow, passionate kiss. “I’m still sore,” You whined, pressing your forehead against his. Chuckling, he pecked your lips, “I know, let me take you to bed. Rest, then we’ll have breakfast.” He carried you back to bed before giving you your underwear and his shirt.  
“Call me if you need anything,” He kissed your forehead before walking out of your bedroom. You lay there for a couple of minutes, enjoying the silence of the morning and his scent on your sheets. How long has it been since you had that kind of night, you thought to yourself as you smelled his shirt, blushing as you walk out.
Opening the door, you can hear Toji talking to someone. Your brows furrowed as you walked out, following the sound to the front door. Is Yui back already? You thought, But it’s not noisy. Curious, you tried to peek over Toji’s shoulders as quietly as you could. Your eyes widened when you saw a mop of familiar white locks and a pair of blue eyes. The situation was familiar, but this time it was reversed.
Satoru’s the one staring at you with hurt and betrayal in his eyes.
————————————
“Mama buy Yui.” The little girl pointed at the ribbons on her hair as Satoru placed her in her carseat. Satoru still can’t wrap his head around what happened. “Really? Yui looks really pretty.” He tapped her cheek before going to the driver’s seat. He promised himself that if you open the door for him, he’s going to make it up to you. But look at what happened today.
“Toji tells Mama pretty.” The little girl squealed before giggling like she understands what was going on and was unaware of how her father’s grip on the steering wheel tightened. “He does? Why?” The breaths he was taking were deep, as he waited patiently for the kid to answer but it was already out of her mind. 
Satoru shook his head, telling himself that he was just surprised, and having been worked up earlier, his temper still hasn’t fully gone down. “Naomi’s pretty too, right?” Ah, yes. His lovely girlfriend, Satoru sighed as he remembered that he has someone by his side. Someone who truly understands him. The child nodded, humming to herself and leaving Satoru with his thoughts again.
Toji’s probably been helping you get over your jerk of a baby-daddy. He’s giving you the comfort that Satoru should’ve given you. He probably doesn’t give you headaches; doesn’t leave you waiting, arrives on time and he probably doesn’t make you feel less than another woman. 
“Fuck.” Satoru punched the side of the wheel, hearing his little girl gasp. “Huh?” She uttered.
“Sorry, love. I was…That’s not a nice word. Dada shouldn’t have said it.” He smiled at her, before reaching over to caress her cheeks when they stopped at the red light. Satoru ran a hand through his hair, pressing his back against the chair. He shouldn’t be stressing over your relationship. He got his to nurture and focus on. What matters is, you’re happy with your respective partners.
Reaching his house, Satoru was bouncing a laughing Yui in his arms as he pretended to jump around. “Hey, baby. How are you?” Naomi’s always been so sweet with his little girl and he appreciates that. It was one of his concerns when he thought about getting with her but they were pointless for she was so fond of the child.
“Look at her eat, babe! She’s too cute.” Naomi looked at Yui in awe as she chewed on the broccoli. Satoru noticed that she’s getting real good at eating on her own. Even if you go to work away from her, you still give Yui more than enough attention and Satoru wouldn’t deny that he’s amazed by that.
You work at a cafe owned by your friend for five hours from Monday to Saturday. Though working longer means more money, you don’t want to leave your baby too much. You earn enough for the bills and some of Yui’s needs. Satoru wanted to double her allowance but you refused, saying that it should be as fair as the days she stays with the two of you. It’s a basic schedule that never got followed. 
Instead of being 3-4-4-3, it just became 4-3; four days with you and three days with Satoru. It’s because the middle day is usually spent with the two of you together. He can’t remember when and why he came up with that. But he thought that it would be for the best, at least until your child can finally fully understand your situation. It hasn’t happened ever since the fight. 
“Babe?”Naomi tapped his arm, “Satoru!” She tilted her head as she tried to catch his blank stare. Satoru snapped out of his thoughts, breathing in as he looked at his girlfriend’s face. “Hm?” He picked up the glass of juice, drinking as he kept his eyes on her. “I said that when we have one of our own, I’d get them used to eating vegetables early.” She massaged his arm, smiling with her eyes.
“One of our what?” It was a dumb question that Satoru had inside his head while she was speaking but it slipped out, “Ah, no, I mean, yeah. It’s good when children aren’t picky with their foods.” Reaching to wipe the child’s mouth. “Are you alright?” She inquired, concern lacing her soft features. “Yeah, why wouldn’t I be? It’s just work.” He smiled half-heartedly before coaxing the woman to eat.
The following days were spent with the three of them eating outside and taking Yui to the mall playground. He found himself sending more of Yui’s pictures to you than usual. He doesn’t know what he’s trying to achieve but ever since you introduced Toji to him, he’s been hoping for a chance to talk. He can’t just turn a page when the one he’s on is torn. At least, that’s what it felt like to him.
You’re starting a new chapter and he feels like he’s stuck there. He’s the one who wanted it, so why does it seem like he’s trying to prevent it now?
—--------------------------------------
Satoru set an alarm early, knowing that you’ll be picking up Yui today. Most likely with your boyfriend. He remembered Yui video calling you on his phone accidentally the other day. Turns out, you were at Toji’s. He didn’t even have to ask. The chandelier, the pillow, and the bed, as well as the lampshade; that’s definitely not your room. 
You were fondly talking to Yui but almost immediately came up with an excuse to leave the call when Satoru sat down behind her. He could tell that as much as you want to see your child, you don’t want to interact with her father. 
He’s felt unwanted by you before. This time he just needs closure, he thought.
That’s a bit too much considering how shitty he treated you. But he can’t keep acting like you still have some type of connection other than being parents. Not only is he being unfair to you but to Naomi too. He’s just not used to seeing you with someone else and that’s why it’s bothering him. 
“You’re getting up already?” Naomi spoke in her tired voice as Satoru sits on the side of the bed, checking his phone. “Yeah, they’re picking her up today. You have work too right?” He yawned, stretching when he stood up. Satoru gave Naomi a kiss on her forehead, hearing her hum. After getting ready, Satoru cleaned his living room; arranged the toys inside the playpen, and checked the front yard.
“This is new,” Naomi laughed, holding her coffee mug as she sat on the couch, watching her boyfriend tidy up his home. “You look good, Dada.” She joked which earned a chuckle from him, “You know I could see you doing this every morning” She walked closer to him, wrapping her arms around his neck as she gave him a long kiss.
“I gotta mature, Yui’s growing.” He placed a hand around her waist, “We might grow too. Soon.” Naomi winked at him and Satoru couldn’t help the smile on his face. You used to tell him that you want three kids, and he wondered if you changed your mind. “What is it?” Naomi asked and only then did Satoru realize that he spaced out again.
“I gotta get Yui ready.” He chuckled, pecking her lips, “Oh, yeah. Let’s go. I wanna pick her clothes.” She giggled, pulling Satoru with her. You’ve been in and out of his mind. And it’s not even just because of Toji. Ever since he left the day that you argued, Satoru’s been thinking about nothing but how to make you talk to him. 
The only thing that stopped him was reminding himself of your relationship’s status. You’re not together; he told you he doesn’t want you, and he’s comfortable and happy with Naomi. His guilt was consuming him. He gotta get this out of his chest and properly apologize to you. You don’t even have to forgive him, he just wants to let you know that he didn’t mean what he said.
Getting Yui ready slightly got things off his mind. Her cute laughs, screams, and small conversations with Naomi drowned every worry in Satoru’s mind. But after that, the thought of seeing you with that guy again loomed over his head. He hasn’t told Naomi about it. It doesn’t feel right to talk about you with her like that. 
Satoru dressed himself in a blue-grey sweater and denim jeans. He found himself fixing his hair, and checking his face. “You’re already handsome, my love.” Naomi hugged him from behind, kissing his shoulders. He was just about to answer her when the doorbell rang, signaling your arrival.
“Yui! Love, Mama’s here!” Satoru called to the playing toddler, she was focused on watching her cartoons.“I’m gonna get the door, can you check her stuff?” He spoke to Naomi as he gave a quick look at himself in the mirror. She nodded, puzzled at his urgency but chose to shrug it off.
Satoru ran a hand over his sweater and hair before jogging to the gate. There you stood with Toji and another kid in his arms. The toddler looked so bored for his age, which is about the same as Yui’s. “Is she ready? Oh, this is Megumi, by the way. Toji’s son.” You motioned to the kid. Oh so, that’s why you get along so well. He’s a father too. 
But Satoru’s a father too. Of your own child, on top of that. 
“Hi, he looks like you a lot.” It was a struggle to get friendly with Toji. Not only because of their first meeting but because of how he put his hand on the small of your back. He’s just trying to flex. Satoru wanted to roll his eyes so badly. “She’s inside, come in.” He shook away his bizarre thought. 
“Yui!” The little guy spoke suddenly, pointing as he spotted the little girl in the playpen. Yui quickly turned her head at the voice, recognizing her playmate. “She really knows Megumi.” You chuckled at Toji as he put his son down. The little girl was quick to hug him, squealing as she pulled her father’s hand.
“Gumi, Dada.” She gestured at Megumi. She was introducing her playmate. “She’s gonna be a sweet sister,” Satoru was quick to turn to Toji, seeing that he was dead serious even as you pinched his side. He wanted to ask what makes him so sure that you’re gonna choose him. “She’s happy to see her little friend.” Naomi hugged his arm as he put her head on his shoulder.
“You ready to go?” You cooed at Yui when she tapped your leg, pointing at Megumi like he didn’t just come here with you. It was funny, but Satoru couldn’t bring himself to laugh when his eyes landed on the necklace on your neck. He remembered giving you one, but you stopped wearing it when you saw him with Naomi. He doesn’t get to look for it now. 
“Alright, let’s go.” You were about to pick Yui up but Naomi’s words halted you, “What about Mama’s kiss?” Satoru cursed himself for avoiding discussing it with Naomi because of how it ended in a fight with you. He was about to tell her but he just couldn’t without getting frustrated for not being able to reach you. Naomi opened her arms to Yui but little Megumi has his own words.
“No Mama, No.” He spoke, shaking his head at Naomi like she wasn’t unknown to him. “Yui Mama.” He patted you, eliciting a chuckle from Toji. “Alright, you’re talkative now. Let’s go.” He picked the little boy up. It left Naomi laughing awkwardly beside Satoru who was busy getting his daughter’s things. 
“Give me a kiss, love.” Satoru gets closer to Yui and naturally, to your face too, as you sat her on your hip. His eyes met yours for a couple of seconds, looking away bitterly when he couldn’t find the emotions he was searching for. Even if you told him that it was nothing official, Satoru could see in your eyes that you were slowly leaving what you had with him. 
Like what he did with you. He just didn’t know that this is how it would feel. 
Walking out with you felt like he was walking you out of his life, entrusting you to this man who probably knows your body, your scent, and your touch the way he does. Does he still know you like that? After all that he’s said and done, Satoru can’t expect that you still see him the same way. 
A part of him says it’s for the best, so you could move on quicker. But the other part of him felt like he was the one walking backward.
The children waved at them and Satoru could only plaster a smile as he watched you get on the passenger side. “That’s a nice car. I didn’t know she got a boyfriend.” Naomi spoke cautiously beside him, “Yeah, that’s not her boyfriend.” Satoru walked back inside the house, mood officially ruined.
“Naomi babe, you can’t have Yui calling you Mama anymore.” Satoru spoke as he get himself a glass of water. He’s not giving himself a chance to delay the information any longer. He just wants to clear everything up, that’s his last hope of getting rid of the weird thoughts and feelings he’s been getting. These unfinished businesses are probably messing with his head.
“Oh, sorry. She disagreed?” Naomi sat down in front of him, watching her boyfriend’s face. “Yeah, it was disrespectful to her. It is.” Satoru nodded, caressing her cheek. Everything else after that was just Satoru answering her questions. He doesn’t even feel like meeting with his client anymore. He just wants to sleep. It’s only morning and he’s already drained.
He didn’t think that seeing you with someone else could suck the life out of him. 
—------------------------------------
It’s been two months of proper co-parenting with you. Well, it’s proper to you and Toji, you’ve been living your fairytale with your king. Satoru scoffed as he downed another drink. He was at the bar where he first met you. Alone. The noise was loud but not loud enough to mute the thoughts inside his head.
He recalled that one time when you picked Yui up, and Toji had the guts to tell him that he was taking you and Yui out of the country to go to Disneyland. He wanted to tell him that he’s gonna be the one doing that but the excitement of his kid prevented him from doing so. 
“I just wanted to get your permission because I don’t want to be disrespectful to the other parent.” Toji didn’t mean harm but the words sent Naomi out of the room.
He once stalked Toji’s account and found photos of you and him by the pool. A swipe after that was the kids drinking coconut water in their swimming attire. The arm floats looked cute on their arms and Satoru wished that he was there to witness that with you. Another swipe was your legs in between Toji’s. 
It was frustrating enough that he had to log off for a day. If this happened several months back, he’d probably post a picture of him and his girlfriend just to piss you off. But he can’t do that anymore. He’s way too aware of what’s happening to him to still act like an asshole. 
The other day he and Naomi ran into you and Toji at the grocery store. The kids were on strollers and he never told Naomi but he already saw you before she even pointed your presence out. As much as he wanted to see his baby, he was too afraid to approach, fearing that he’d be met with news that could end everything for him. 
He saw Toji put his large hand on your lower stomach, as the other one snaked on your hip. If this is what he thinks it is, he’s probably gonna faint right on the spot. He whispered something to you that made you look up at him with a smile.
It’s been a while since you smiled at him like that. 
He consoled himself by saying that it was too early for something like that but was quickly discouraged by the fact that he himself made rash decisions without regarding how you might feel. During the encounter, Satoru kept himself grounded by entertaining the kids. 
“Pour me another one.” He spoke to the bartender, before leaning on his forearm. This is bad, he thought. His girlfriend will definitely wonder why he’s trying to get wasted alone in the bar where he first met the mother of his child. If that happens, Satoru wouldn’t know what to say. She was such a good woman to him and he wouldn’t want to hurt her like that. 
This is one of the reasons why he’s encouraging himself to move on, aside from the fact that he’ll probably never get you back. He has high respect and admiration for Naomi. She’s been nothing but a great person to him. She was there when his mind was a mess and she held him down. He wants to avoid breaking her heart.
Why didn’t you think of this before you gave up on Y/N? Have you no idea how much she put up with just to make it work with you?  A voice in his head spoke, pushing Satoru to down another drink. He’s fucking right, he thought. That voice was fucking right. 
“Y/N gave up on me because I gave her every reason to. I gave up on Y/N because I was tired. I was never fucking fair.” Satoru cursed to himself, pulling his phone out just as his mind started to spin. He doesn’t even know if what’s happening is real. But Satoru has gotten enough confidence from the alcohol to spill out everything in his heart.
With a couple of taps, Satoru’s phone was ringing in his ear, waiting for the other person to pick up. “Hey,” A lazy voice rang through the speakers of the phone “...love you..” Satoru answered, coughing as he held his head with one hand. 
Frustrated with the noise, Satoru made his way to a far corner. Pressing his back before sliding down to a sitting position by a wall. “...where are you?” Satoru couldn’t even hear her clearly. He laughed half-heartedly, sniffing as he teared up at her concern. “I still love you, Y/N. So, so much.” He spoke more clearly. 
Little did he know, it wasn’t Y/N on the other end of the line.
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taglist: @forever-war @astral-hydromancy @witchbybirth @coeqi @starshinedowo @coffee-on-a-rainyautumn @lost-lonnie @haitanifxn @dearsunaa @clairdelunaax @anxious-chick @tigerchaeee @megufushi @tsukkisrightpinky @crowiechan @makimais @infinitemoonlight @iloveblogging2 @cloudsinthecosmos @uchiwife @bellaadonnas @lawlietily @lilxnvm @poopoobuttsy @yihona-san06 @luhvbot @sagekko @lugkuic @asbony @uhremmi
@kurookinnie @why-am-i-here-again-shitheads @galaxyfever @guenievresworld @y2kcy3brz @chocokaylarobin @hopeannalea @ruunavalentine @tojirin @teapartyspilled @ackermendick @shadowarchon @vinkiesz @awkwardaardvarkforever @btsw1fe @nvvacanesworld @wolffmaiden @underburningstars @rntrsuna @vampgguk @doulcha @creolequeen11210
ps. i can only tag 50 im sorry :')
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nezuscribe · 6 months
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𝖔𝖚𝖗 𝖑𝖔𝖛𝖊 𝖎𝖘 𝖘𝖚𝖓𝖑𝖎𝖌𝖍𝖙
summary: being gojo's wife was better than you could have imagined, too good perhaps. when you have doubts about being with him, gojo must simply show you that they're wrong
pairing: gojo x fem!reader
warnings: 18+, mdni, mild angst, heavy smut, fingering (female receiving), oral (female receiving), vaginal penetration, heavy making out, gojo is a little possessive (but that's okay!)
note: this could be a historical au if you squint but i was too tired to go in-depth. also sorry for any typos, i might fix it later
word count: 3.3k
jjk masterlist
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gojo saturo was a man who was always sure of himself. 
he didn’t need anybody to tell him of his strength. the word of his agility spread across the aegean sea, and his strength rivaled no other man. his stark beauty that only came with having a goddess as a mother, and his snide remarks that came with being fed with a silver spoon his entire life. 
and yet you had never seen gojo so angry. never seen his eyes turn such a shade of gray, his hair framing his face messily as he breathed as though each inhale cost him the regular amount three would take. 
his (your) sleeping quarters usually a comforting place for you to be, but it all felt cold now. you could barely look at him without feeling the bile rise in your throat, wondering if you finally ruined the lick of happiness you were blessed with these past few months.
who would have thought your words would have such an effect on him? 
"what do you mean let you leave?" he spat your earlier statement as if it burned his tongue, seared his flesh as he if the prospect was enough to set even the holiest man aflame.
"i," you paused, your back pressing up against the wall as tears treacherously stabbed at your waterline, “i just think that you could have somebody…worthier.” you used the heel of your palm to wipe at your cheeks, hoping that the darkness would hide your weakness.
he took in another labored breath as if hearing you say it again was the confirmation he needed to make sure he heard you correctly the first time. 
“you could have anybody, gojo,” his lips curled at the use of his last name, getting comfortable with hearing ‘toru fall off your soft lips, “i don’t want you to be bound to me because you wanted to spite-” 
“spite?” he throws it out, cutting you off, scoffing in disbelief as you nod slowly. 
“you don’t have to take me for a fool,” you say through a sniffle, the moon carding through the window as it bounces off of his beautiful face, “i don’t have much to give, but i’m not dense. i know that there wouldn’t be many reasons after spite to take me as your wife.”
he doesn’t say anything for a few seconds, looking at you and then at the tears that stained your soft cheeks. he wanted to reach out and wipe them, to kiss the salt away, and to give you words that held his heart in each syllable but you would only deem them as moments to fill the silence and to please the gods.
“then you are dense if you think that’s why i picked you as my wife,” he tells you finally, the words cutting you through your nightgown and through your chest. you were aware he wielded the sword better than any grecian warrior, but you never would have guessed that his words could be just as powerful. 
“your mother wants-” 
“damn what she wants!” he cracked, shaking in anger as your lips wobbled at the flash that crossed his face, he rubbed his hands over his tired eyes, looking away, trying to calm himself down as his hair fell into his eyes, “have you ever stopped to think about what about what i want?”
you didn’t know what he wanted. you had always thought that the gojo satoru would pick somebody spectacular to be his equal, somebody whose name was just as prominent as his. you thought that his wife would have been a child of a god as well, somebody who could match him on his every level. 
but now you weren’t sure, your past judgment slipping away as you took in his disheveled state.
“i,” he sighed, looking at you as he shook his head, “i want you so much that hearing you say you want to leave damn near tore my heart out. i want you so much that my every waking moment is spent thinking, dreaming, wanting you. you are the only person that i care for.” he choked out, his voice raw as he pushed the strands away so he could see you.
you couldn’t find anything to say as your lips trembled as you tried to conceal your cries. if only he knew your petty tears came from years of these words being muttered in the back of your head, from the people around you, and only tonight did they finally spill. you were strong, and you could control your emotions better than most, but seeing him tonight with the woman blatantly trying to win his attention proved the fragility in your mask. you knew that accepting his hand in marriage meant having to have skin thicker than before, but after months of hearing the crude rumors of why he picked you out of anybody else chipped away at you before this was all that was left. 
“i didn’t want you to be my wife out of spite,” he takes a tentative step forward, hoping that you don’t cower away because of it, “i wanted you to be my wife because i loved you too much for you to be anything but.” he walks again, his long legs reaching you in a matter of milliseconds as he’s now closer than he was before, his striking eyes taking you in better as you look at him from above your lashes, not wanting him to see you this way.
“you are so smart yet sometimes you can’t see beyond what people tell you,” he murmurs, pulling you into his chest as you let him, this warmth something you knew you could no longer live without, “i will not let you leave.”
“but-” 
“listen to me,” he murmurs firmly, his fingers grasping your jaw as he lifts it up so you can see him. 
“i will not let you leave…unless you want to,” his thumb swipes away at the corner of your eyes, searching for answers, “do you want to?”
no, you don’t.
you want to stay. you want to wake up to his kisses and his gentle touch, the honeyed words he’d tell you as he held you close to his naked body. you wanted to stay and experience what it’s like having the strongest soldier as your husband, to know that he wouldn’t let a fly land on your head. you want him.
“no,” you look away, your cheeks heating up under his heavy gaze, “but-” 
“then don’t leave.” he cut you off again, shushing your doubts as he shook his head. his fingers trailed across your shoulders, long as you felt them travel down the cloth that covered your back, holding your waist as he ran them across the expanse of your body. 
he knew the things you told yourself sometimes, he’d comforted you those nights when the darkness sheltered your tears and all he could do was tell you that you were wrong and hold you close to his thumping heart. 
this was the furthest it had ever been. his heart was thumping erratically and he was sure it would jump out of his throat if you actually left.
“‘toru, i really think that….” you trailed off as he dropped his head down, his lips finding your neck as he littered wet kisses on your skin, mouth curling into a smile as he heard your breathing hitch. 
he gripped your hips tightly, undoing the knot that met in the middle of your collarbones, watching as your robe fell to show off your supple skin to him. you wanted to hide, never getting used to that hungry look that would take over his face as he eyed your breaths, his cheeks glowing pink as he nudged his thigh in between your two legs. 
“do you really think i could live without these?” he asked, his hands cupping your tits as he flicked his thumb over your pert nipples, your lips catching between your teeth to hide your whines, “without you?” his hands ran down your stomach, his nose rubbing against your cheek as he teased his lips over yours, a cruel grin threatening to make its way onto his stunning face as you tried to meet him where he was. 
“now you’re eager?” he taunted, getting drunk off of your helpless whines, enjoying knowing the fact that neither of you would be able to survive without the other, that he needed to breathe your air in order to live. he could taunt and tease you as much as he’d want, but in the end, he’d always oblige. 
he kissed you like a man starved, his lips crashing against yours as you let out a small gasp. he took the air from your lungs, your teeth clashing against each other as he held you to him, your nipples rubbing against his chest as he moaned into your mouth, wanting more. 
“want you, always want you,” you murmur against him, your fingers curling at the stray hairs at his nape, pulling him closer to you as you press up to kiss him again.
“then don’t ever say anything like that again,” he whispered, and for the first time that night you heard the vulnerability in his words, “i want you so bad that i can barely think straight without you.”
you wanted to apologize but he stopped you, already knowing the words that were going to come out of your mouth. He nipped at your lips, stealing your apology away silently, not wanting to see your pretty tears anymore, the sight hurting him more than any wound he’s attained in all his years as a warrior. 
dropping down to his knees as he breathed in your scent, his eyes rolling back as you tried to look away in embarrassment. He’d press kissed to your inner thighs, stopping just where you needed and wanted him most, taking your knee as he guided it upwards to rest on his shoulders, looking up at you as he rolled and smirked. 
“you think anybody else will love you like i do? treat you like this?” you shook your head, your fingers curling into his white hair as your head thumped against the wall, his hot breath fanning over your fluttering entrance as you whined out for him. 
“mmh, fuck,” he loved seeing you like this, beautifully naked, sweat dotting on your skin as you wrapped your leg around his back, “hurry up ‘toru,” you were impatient and he loved that about you. 
“anything for my wife,” he said, his mouth finally finding your clit as you let out a pleased cry, his fingers prodding at your dripping entrance as your eyes squeezed shut. this is where he loved to be most, the saccharine taste of you on his tongue, washing over his body as he grew taunt against his stomach. 
he sucked, his two fingers reaching deep in you as he curled them, switching them with his mouth occasionally as your grip on his hair grew tighter, guiding him up and down as he slurped your juices away, the sound echoing across the chamber. 
“just like that!” you moaned when he reached your spongy spot, your walls clenching around his fingers, your essence staining his chin as he looked up at you with a dopey look in his eyes, “fuuuck ‘toru,” your words were the sin that he longed for, tainting his existence with the presence of your love. 
he could feel you getting closer, his movements getting faster as he held one against your ass, cupping it as he brought you even impossibly closer to him, eating you out as he had never eaten a meal as good as this, and you did try to stop the noises that fell out of your mouth as you squeezed against him, creaming on his fingers as he brought you to your high, crying out his name as you tried to dig yourself against the wall.
your heavy breathing filled the room, your grip on his hair loosening up as he kissed your inner thigh one last time before disconnecting himself from your spasming pussy, grinning like a fool as he balanced himself on his haunches. 
“good?” 
“oh, shut up,” you muttered, still trying to catch your breath as he chuckled, standing up as he brought you to his chest once again. you would never get tired of him like this, your juices on his lips and chin as he looked at you like you were his god. 
he would argue that you most definitely were. 
he pressed his lips to yours once again, letting you taste yourself on him as you whimpered against his rapid movements, grasping onto his arms for support as you hooked a leg around his waist, your lashes fluttering against your cheeks.
you could feel him hard against your stomach, and you looked down, his robes not doing much to hide his length. 
“see what you do to me?” he said against the shell of your ear, your fingers running up and down his clothed cock, his eyes fluttering shut at the feeling as you continued your motions, enjoying the way he dropped his head in the crook of your neck, “you’re mine.” 
“you flatter me,” you teased, your eyes still a little puffy but you cracked a smile, feeling him puff out a laugh as he shook his head, grasping onto your waist as though that was the only thing that could keep him standing. 
if only his enemies could see him like this; reduced to a mere mess all from your fleeting touch. 
“i’m being honest.” he sucks onto your neck, his nose nudging your jaw as you tug onto his clothing, your fingers grasping onto the sturdy fabric as you push it down, your eyes taking in his physique as he stands naked before you, the two of you finally even. 
“you’re so pretty,” you say, the words tumbling out of your mouth as your eyes rake over his abs, the faint scars that litter his torso, the white hair that leads down to his angry cock that leaks pre all over his stomach.
he snorts, rolling his eyes as he wraps your legs around his hips once again, hoisting your upwards like you weigh nothing as he rested his dick in between your puffy folds, cocking his head as he looked at you through his long lashes. 
“me?” he asks as you giggle softly, nodding as his heart flutters at the sound, “i wish. look at your eyes,” he presses a kiss against your lids, “and your nose,” he kisses the tip of your nose as you try not to laugh even louder, the giddy sound something he hopes the gods could hear so that would envy him and the woman he has in his hands, “and your lips,” he pecks them, “and your smart, smart head,” he presses another kiss against your hairline, balancing your body in his arms, “my beautiful wife.” he finishes, looking back at your flustered figure, proud of his work.
“stop,” you whine, not making any motion to actually stop him, bathing in the endless attention as he tapped his cock head against your clit, your laughs seizing as you look down, forgetting where you were, “you’re such a tease ‘toru.” 
“only because i love you so much,” he said, thrusting up into you as your mouth dropped open into a wanton moan, your head falling back as he took in a sharp breath between his teeth, never getting used to the way you clenched so tightly around him, making it hard to not come in just a matter of seconds. 
“f-fuck,” he moaned, his hot breath hitting your breasts as he dropped his head down to see where the two of you connected, slowly moving his hips as he moved in and out of you, his mushroom tip catching in your fluttering walls as your nails dug into his back, dragging red lines down as he began to rhythmically pound into you, “you’re so fucking tight,”
“mmmh!” you could only whine out, your words slurring in your mouth as you squeezed your eyes shut, the feeling of his dick thumping against you was better than any other feeling in the world, you could barely try to raise your hips up to meet him, but he took care of it for you, his strength never failing to amaze you, “l-love you so much ‘toru, m’sorry for w-what i said!” 
even if he was still caught up over it, he fucked you as if to make you forget about it. 
“my wife,” he’d mutter over and over again, searing the words into fate as he fucked you with so much love that it seeped out of his pores. Sweat caught on his brow and his cupids bow and you ducked down to kiss it away, the salty taste on your lips welcoming back as he feverishly kissed you back, “my wife.”
you loved the way his veins dragged up and down your walls, the rings of your essence and creams that frothed around the base of his cock, the way his thighs clenched as his fingers dug into your ass. 
this was something you knew you could never find anywhere else. gojo satoru was something you could never find anywhere else. 
“say your mine, f-fuck, say it,” he muttered against your skin, “need to hear you say it.” 
“m’yours!” your fingers tugged at his hair, your nails scratching his scalp as he welcomed the sting, “i’m only yours!” 
His eyes rolled back as you continued to flutter against him, his high coming faster than it usually would, but he knew that he couldn’t control it with the way you kept crying out his name in that honeyed tone of yours. 
“shit, i’m ‘gonna cum, cum with me, need to feel you cum around me…” he rambled on, your pussy made him crazy. And you were nodding your head, not knowing how to speak anymore as his hips shuddered, your releases spraying each other as he cummed deep into you, white trickling out from where he had you plugged out as you cried out from the pleasure that washed over your body. 
“you’re so perfect,” he whispered after a couple of seconds passed, and you were still trying to recover from your second orgasm of the night, his words warming your soul as he kissed your cheeks.
you looked up at him, suddenly bashful despite what happened, and he had the audacity to cackle at the sight. 
you were stunning always, but he loved this look the most. the sleepy but pleased look in your eyes as you clung to him, your arms draping from his shoulders as he walked with you connected to him, just as you should be. he loved the little smile that would always litter your lips after sex, knowing that if he were to die now he’d die a happy man.
“come on,” he kept you wrapped around his waist as he kept one hand under your ass and one tightly around his waist, “i’ll let you rest, but i need to get some things to clean you up.” his eyes trailed to the mess he made, trying not to let his cock harden at the white that painted your thighs and seeped out from your pussy, knowing you were too tired for another round. 
“i love you,” you muttered into his neck, pressing a kiss where your lips were and he shuddered. 
he squeezed you tightly to him, not knowing what he’d do if you were to leave. he was a man far gone, you had too much control over him to ever submit to any other king again. you were the only being who could tell him what to do, what to feel, and what to love. 
“love you most, my beautiful wife.”
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chrollohearttags · 8 months
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hershey kisses • armin artlert
armin gives his special girl an orgasm like she’s never had..
content warning + themes: nipple play, p!rn without plot, nipple orgasm, queer bestie armin bc I love him sm, black fem reader, creaming, reader is ovulating, clit rubbing, squirting, ear nibbling, armin being a soft dom (and so hot), back kissing/licking, use of pretty girl, sweetheart and mama
📝: I couldn’t stop thinking about armin + him being a pleasure dom and just caring for his bestie. Like I’m sitting here melting 🥹🥹
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“Here, open your legs, baby..I promise, you’ll like it.”
“Are you sure, Armie? I don’t know about thisss..”
words emitted with a whiny laugh as you sat between the legs of your best friend. Back pressed to his chest and his leaning against your Victorian style headboard..painted in off white, cream coloring and lined with pastel pink pillows and stuffed animals. His tattoos and metal nipple piercings grazing your gorgeous skin. Honestly, he couldn’t believe that the two of you were actually here again…touching all over one another when all it did was lead to more trouble. Even so, you guys always ended up like this: hot, bothered and naked, making out and fucking after coming from a night out at the club or a long week of work. Over the past few months, since the inception of this little entanglement, you and Armin had learned a lot about each other. He had discovered that he leaned more towards being pansexual, rather than outright gay. He felt far more comfortable embracing fluidity in his sexuality and you?
“Relax, sweetheart. Have I ever led you wrong? I mean, you said it yourself that nobody makes you feel the way I can.” cooing to you with gentle kisses trailing along your neck..gentle hands grazing your bare shoulder blades as you had just left the shower..feeling refreshed and warm. Wrapped up in nothing more than a towel that he so delicately removed from your frame..he could sit there and admire you for hours without growing tired.
“You smell so good..and your skin, it’s so soft. You been using my stuff again?” Referring to the peach scented body cream he kept alongside his countless other skin care products he kept in his bathroom. But he didn’t mind. You wore it so much better than him anyways..including the shimmery butter that made your cocoa complexion glistening underneath the pale LED lighting. Besides, you could get away with anything when you smiled at him like that. “And if I was?..” retorting with a soft giggle before turning to kiss him. Your lips met a gentle peck, letting your tongues collide in a passionate barrage of kisses. As you made out, Armin slowly began to snake his arms around to your front. Those big, supple breasts cradled in his veiny hands; perfectly manicured and neat, decorated with silver rings. Suddenly, your breath would hitch in the back of your throat. Those sensitive nipples getting pinched by his fingertips and massages delicately.
“Then I guess I’ll just have to do this..”
what exactly that was? You weren’t sure yet but you’d know soon enough. The friction between your buds and his pads pressing together..rubbing slowly to create and drum up tingling sensations. In your toes, your entire body and especially that core. Dripping with only a few subtle touches so far and this was only the beginning. As your eyes began to flutter, Armin would instruct you to keep them open and strictly on them; twisting your head around whilst he played with your nipples. Tracing slow circles around the areolae before bringing those fingers back up to your quivering mouth to slick with saliva.
“There we go, pretty girl. Open up f’r me..” his higher pitched tone, one some would consider feminine rang out in your ear. He didn’t even have to look and yet he knew your body better than any man you’d ever let touch you prior. He could always sense when you were ovulating and in need of a good session. One that satisfied you mind, body and spirit. Anything to avoid some loser who didn’t deserve to be in your presence, less known getting some pussy get the best of you. Sure, he could fuck you senseless. Bend you over and make you chomp down on your plushies or a nearby pillow. Or even fold your legs up to the headboard and give you deep strokes while your vibrator went crazy but that wouldn’t do. He wanted you to experience a different type of pleasure. One that would have you addicted once you became used to the feeling. Between your trembling thighs lied that little sweet spot..quivering and spasming on nothing more than air. Cream leaking from that freshly shaved cunt as he continued to tease your most sensitive of pressure points. Nibbling on your ear, kissing on your neck and leaving soothing pecks all along your shoulder blade and back.
“Arminnnn…oh my..fuck—“
“Look at you…so cute like this. I swear, it makes me wanna keep playing with you all night.”
when he first told you that an orgasm by merely having your nipples played with was possible, you stared at him as if he were absolutely crazy. You didn’t think such a thing could ever happen and yet, here you were…about to climax and he hadn’t even so much as touched your clit yet! Gasping for air, (y/n) became undone right there in his firm grasp. Armin’s legs coiling you to keep you in place. “Shh..it’s okay, sweetheart. Just breathe with me, okay? I know it feels good and you wanna come so bad…but just hold on.” Those subtle kisses doing little to quell you but when he spoke to you so carefully and delicately, you had no choice but to listen. Faint traces of drool seeped from between your lips as he kept rubbing. Going counterclockwise, twisting in all sorts of directions before clamping down yet again. You’d try to wiggle around, even rut yourself against a nearby pillow to get off but alas, that was useless. He’d pop your leg and command you to stay still..
“No cheating…just let me get you there..” “okay, okay!..please, I just wanna come..”
and soon, your tireless groveling and pleas would pay off. Because alas, he’d let those lengthy fingers glide down your belly and to that fat little pussy, where he spread those lips apart and rubbed that little clit for just a moment. But it was abundantly clear you were far more stimulated than expected. With only a few seconds of gentle massaging, you were flooding the sheets, squirting all over his hands and the bed. So bashful of such a reaction but it was exactly what he wanted to see!
“Aww, good job, baby..you came so hard..” watching you writhe and cry out in pure bliss and ecstasy. There was no way that a little nipple rubbing garnered such a reaction but you’d never question his again! Allowing you to ride out your climatic high, Armin spun you around once more before kissing you. “That feel good, mama? Did you like that?” Questioning with that sweet yet nasally tone, cooing to you like a baby. And you nodded, still dazed with a fucked out expression. Bopping your nose, Armin placed a kiss to your forehead as you lie in his arms.
“I told you, you gotta trust me more often. I’ll do whatever it takes to please you.”
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jaylver · 2 months
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LOVE AT FIRST SPEED — L.HS
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SYNOPSIS: World champion, record breaker, winner of hundreds of races, what does Lee Heeseung want other than that? Apparently, love. Being the greatest when it comes to racing doesn't mean that he naturally has a flourishing love life. True, there were many girls already lining up for him, but he knew none of them were truly sincere, leaving him devoid of love and unconditionally craving it. That was until everything changed when he met you, his new next door neighbour that doesn’t even know he’s a famous F1 racer. Three dates. three different countries, but only one chance to make you his.
OR! in which a world champion tries scoring the girl next door.
presenting ... driver of scuderia ferrari f1 team
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PAIRINGS: F1 driver!heeseung x afab!reader
GENRE: strangers/neighbours to lovers, love at first sight, he falls first but she falls harder, formula one au, sports au, romance, angst
WARNING(S): profanities, mentions of alcohol, drinking and partying, lots of feelings being self questioned, slight miscommunications/misunderstandings
WC: 29k
AUTHOR'S NOTE: it's finally ... here ... please leave your feedbacks and reblogs are very much appreciated !! your feedbacks will mean a lot to me since i'm lowkey second guessing if this is good LMAO enjoy ♡
part 1 of 'no brakes' series | series masterlist | masterlist
© jaylver 2024 all rights reserved.
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– MONTE CARLO, MONACO, LATE 2022
Lee Heeseung was drunk.
Going out with the boys was probably a mistake. Look, it was off season and everyone was back in Monaco, so it definitely sounded like a great idea to go out for a night out, right? Wrong. 
Letting Jay, Jake, Sunghoon, Yeonjun and some of the other drivers drag him to a well known club in the city was his first mistake of the night. The second was accepting all of the shots they offered, acting as if the celebrations of him winning his third world championship wasn’t over yet. The alcohol that took over his senses only made him stumble to the dance floor, dancing wildly with girls surrounding him, not giving a care if a camera was capturing everything. That was his third mistake.
By the end of the night, every one of them were equally shitfaced. It wasn’t a great look, and he was sure their personal trainers weren’t going to be happy at all. Heeseung, in particular, was taking it better than the rest, though still slurring and stumbling around, at least he managed to tell his address fully to the taxi driver. 
Getting dropped off at the lobby looking absolutely destroyed was humbling. He kept his head low, reminding himself that he had a reputation to maintain and went for the elevator, pressing the number of his floor. He was leaning against the wall, holding it for support as he slowly sobered up, trying his best to feel around his body for his keycard.
“Fuck,” he cursed out, unable to remember where it was with that hazy mind of his. 
The elevator stopped at his floor with a ‘ding’, grabbing his attention from his ongoing search for the moment. He trudged along the quiet hallway, dragging his feet and mumbling his regrets. One thing’s for sure was that he should not rely on Jake for claiming it was a ‘light party’. Light party my ass.
Standing in front of his door to the apartment, he was dying to get in and crash into his comfortable bed. However, he remembered what he was struggling to find: his keycard. God, why me, he thought. 
His head was beginning to spin and it was not helping. He was slipping his hand into his back pockets, shirt pockets that didn’t even exist because he’s wearing a button up, then his socks, which was absolutely insane. No, Lee Heeseung was turning insane. At one point, he let out a sigh and leaned his head on his door, swearing that he was about to collapse out of fatigue.
“Uh—are you okay?” Was that a voice coming from the pits of his head? It couldn’t be, it was a woman’s voice. “Mister?”
Heeseung turned around in a blink of an eye, almost letting out a yelp in shock when his eyes landed on you. Even in his drunken daze, he was still able to make out how pretty you were. There you were, standing in a party dress that was enough to tell him you were out clubbing too, makeup that was intact and heels in one hand, creating a small height difference between him and you.
“Huh?” That was probably the dumbest thing he could let out at that moment. Wake up, he cursed at himself. “You’re not that old lady,”
“She moved away,” you guessed he was referring to the old lady that sold you her apartment, the one that was next to this … guy. “I’m guessing you were not here a few months ago to even realise I’m your new neighbour?”
Well, no, Heeseung was busy winning his championship in Abu Dhabi during then. 
He didn’t say that though, instead he shrugged, liking the fact that you were oblivious he was someone well known. “I travel for work, so not really. My apologies,”
“I see,” you nodded your head, continuously cautious, he could see that. “Do you have trouble entering your own home?”
“What makes you think that?”
“You were searching for something—even in your socks,”
“Oh,” he licked his lips, currently embarrassed. “I—uh—don’t know where my keycard is,”
“Have you searched your pockets?”
“Yes,”
“Wallet?”
Heeseung paused. “No …”
“Try searching, I’m sure it’s there somewhere,” you were so confident in saying that, which made Heeseung uneasy and doubtful. How would you know it was there and he didn’t? 
You pulled out your own keycard, pressing against the sensor and your door unlocked with a click, but before you went in and left Heeseung behind, you scrunch your nose up. “You should probably sober up … and also wash away the perfumes on your shirt. It’s heavy,”
Once you shut your door, Heeseung scoffed. He lowered his head to the sleeves of his button up shirt and inhaled, the smell of perfumes from the girls he danced with clung to the fabric desperately. He hated that you weren’t completely wrong. Then, he reached for his wallet, rolling his eyes at your voice in his head, but was once proven right again when he saw his glistening keycard there. For fuck’s sake.
Now, he was guessing he probably set a bad impression on you, making you think he was some stupid womaniser. Gosh, the way your eyes narrowed at him was burnt into his mind. 
Heeseung was not getting much sleep that night.
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“Slept well?”
Fate had a play in hand, somehow setting Heeseung and you up by having the both of you exiting your apartment at the same time. The only difference was you being fresh and awake, ready to start your day while Heeseung was the total opposite. Hungover, body sore and dark circles under his eyes.
“Great,” he seethed out. 
No, Heeseung didn’t have a ‘great’ sleep. He was plagued by you. Yes, you. The neighbour that he didn’t even know existed until yesterday, the same one that had to witness him drunk and turning insane. It was funny knowing you probably didn’t even like him, but somehow, that was what bothered Heeseung. Everyone liked him. But you, apparently, or so your vibe told.
“Someone didn’t have their lucky charms this morning, huh?” you reached into your tote bag, Heeseung’s curious gaze following your every move. “Here,” you tossed a protein bar at him, the same brand that he eats occasionally. What were the odds?
“Don’t just stare at it. Eat it.”
Apparently Heeseung was staring at it too longingly, and until he heard what you said, he snapped up to look at you, mouth slightly agape. “Thanks,”
You smiled. You fucking smiled. Heeseung didn’t expect your teeny smile was enough to spur him on. This was cheesy, too cliche and very predictable. Did he think he was in a reenactment of Notting Hill except it’s called Monte Carlo instead? The feeling of falling at first sight was foreign to him, to have a crush on your neighbour was new to him, and he wasn’t going to take this well.
“Eat up.” you waved a little, turning your back to him and rushed for the elevator, leaving him on his own again. 
The small encounter was enough to make Heeseung more curious about you. He knew nothing about you, you were his neighbour, his goddamn neighbour, but it felt like he was in high school with a crush again. Was it even a crush? Was it admiration? Heeseung didn't want to overthink it, it's too early in the morning for that.
He made his way to his sleek Ferrari 488 Pista Spider, the one car that he was devoted to. It was easily recognisable in the streets of Monaco, the design was a custom made and a favourite of his, any fans could make out that Lee Heeseung was the one driving it.
The usual bunch, Jay, Jake and Sunghoon had invited him out to brunch. Heeseung knew damn well all of them were just as hungover as he was, or even worse, he thought they were quite brave for stepping out of the house. 
Making a few detours for grocery and miscellaneous items prompted him to be later than the rest. He was rushing to the cafe, seeing the back of his friends' heads from a distance. They were sitting at an outside table, as they always preferred, but what caught his attention was an extra head next to Jake's blond hair.
Was that the girl who followed Jake home yesterday? He wouldn't even second question it.
He was wrong. 
Making his way to the table, Heeseung greeted them with a good morning before looking at their faces. Well, the boys looked like them, but the girl, oh … the girl.
It was you. His neighbour. What were you doing sitting next to Jake? Seriously, Jake?
“Hey, man, sorry for not letting you know earlier but I invited my friend, is that okay with you?” Jake grimaces apologetically, offering a smile as compensation.
“It's alright,” Heeseung stared briefly at you, then took a seat next to Jay, the one opposite that faced you.
“Heeseung, this is Y/N, Y/N, this is Heeseung,” Jake did a gesture between you and Heeseung with his hands, while you and him both looked at each other with a 'what the fuck is going on' expression.
“Hi—”
“She's my next door neighbour,” Heeseung didn't know why he blurted that out, he didn't even let you finish. 
The boys and you stared at him, incredulous but to a different extent. You had annoyance in your eyes, the others had disbelief. Maybe you were mad he interjected, but he felt he needed to get that out. 
“Uh—sorry,”
“He's your neighbour?” Jake cackled, his gaze flickering between you and Heeseung. “No, wait, you're his neighbour?”
You and Heeseung nodded in unison.
“Which means you guys knew each other already?”
“Not exactly,” you said, sipping a little of your latte. “I didn’t know his existence until yesterday, let alone his name,”
“Ditto,”
“Wow,” Sunghoon laughed at the side, both him and Jay witnessing everything in entertainment.
“Shocking,” Jay nudged Sunghoon.
“You guys will get along better than you’ll expect,” Jake said coolly, speaking from a deep knowing of you and Heeseung’s personality traits. However, you and Heeseung seemed doubtful, but didn’t comment on it. 
“So … if they are F1 drivers, that means you are one too,” you pointed a finger at him, eyebrows raised in question. 
“Yup,” Heeseung replied, popping his ‘p’ obnoxiously. “Three times world champion too,” Jake jerked his chin towards Heeseung, a look of pride on his face. “He’s literally insane,”
“It’s nothing,” Heeseung suddenly felt like he was put on the spot. Usually, he would be immune to all these compliments thrown at him, but this time with you around, he wanted to be lowkey. 
“Did you hear him?” Jay scoffed, making the others, you and Heeseung himself included, laugh. 
The conversation was interrupted with the waiter serving your orders. Pastries, bread, and Heeseung’s go-to hangover cure, a mixed fruit smoothie were placed on the table. Soon, everyone got comfortable and dug in, enjoying the cool weather of Monte Carlo.
“What brings you here, Y/N?” Heeseung finally got the confidence to ask you a question, letting his curiosity win over him. 
“I moved here because of my new job—"
“Because of me,” Jake chimed in unceremoniously, catching everyone else's attention at the table. Now, what did he mean by that?
“Basically, Jake hired me as his personal trainer,”
“And assistant,” Jake added, increasing Heeseung’s fascination and wonder. Since when did Jake change his personal trainer? Oh wait, he mentioned it. Something about wife’s pregnancy that his ex trainer needed time off. How could Heeseung forget this crucial information? 
“I’m going to have to keep him in check every race,”
“We’re glad you’re coming along,” Sunghoon clapped his hands, genuine happiness in his smiley features. “It’s time someone put this guy in place,” he snorted, pulling a laugh out of you. 
Your laugh. All it took was your laugh for Heeseung to disassociate from everything happening around him and place his focus on you. The wrinkles around your eyes when your lips stretched into a grin, smile lines adorning your face that he found breathtaking. Every part about you and your happiness was enough to make him smile as well.
Pause. Was he hearing himself clearly? 
“Now what’s that supposed to mean?” Jake rolled his eyes at Sunghoon, not appreciating the comment targeted at Jake’s known party behaviours.
“You know what I mean,” 
At that, Jake eyed you nervously, already having a feeling that you were going to be strict on him, rightfully so. Meanwhile, Heeseung was dying internally. He wanted to speak to you, but how was he able to when he wasn’t close to you? Instead, he was stuck with the two bozos, half-heartedly chewing on his croissant as he and the guys listened to you talk about your job and degree.
Whatever Heeseung thought possibly of you dissipated. The sharp gaze you gave him that night disappeared once he came to the realisation that you were nothing like what his mind made you out to be: scary and hard to get along with. Heeseung would admit, he makes the worst assumption of the people he first met, but some were true, as for you, you were nothing like that. He could tell you were warming up to him, probably also having the same misconception of him in your head. 
Once there were nothing but crumbs left on the plates, with the bill paid and everyone’s stomach filled, you and the guys got up from the table, making an exit. The awkward part arrived. Jay and Sunghoon were leaving on their own, Jake too, but what about you?
“Do you want me to drop you off—” Jake offered after Jay and Sunghoon were out of sight, leaving you, him waiting outside and Heeseung, who was still lingering in the cafe. You shook your head.
“You literally live on the opposite side of where I am, I don’t think that’s convenient,” you poked his shoulder, an unapproving frown pulled at your lips. “I’ll just hail a cab same like this morning,”
Clear worry was evident in Jake’s eyes. “You sure?”   
“I can drive you back,” Heeseung suddenly appeared by Jake's side, an innocent look on his face as he shoved his wallet into his back pocket. “We stay next to each other anyway,”
“Yeah, sure, thank you,” you breathed out in relief, initially being nervous at the thought of having to be alone, thankful Heeseung came in to save your ass.
“Now that’s settled, I’ll see you for training soon, Y/N. And Hee, you should hit the simulator soon, practice so you don’t get rusty!”
“Shut up,” Heeseung clicked his tongue in annoyance, but couldn’t resist a cheeky grin.
“Alright, bye guys!”
Jake soon disappeared around the corner, and the air turned thick with awkwardness. You didn’t mind Heeseung’s presence, but honestly, you didn’t know this man, or at least not enough. Without Jake’s familiarity and his comforting aura around you and Heeseung, you were unable to function well. Not when he’s your neighbour that you didn’t exactly get off on the right foot with, and truthfully, he was hot, to simply put it. You know how hot people tend to scare you? Yeah, that was him. Curse Jake for having hot friends.
“Shall we get going?”
You snapped out of your momentary inner monologue, nodding and hoisting your bag higher up your shoulder, letting Heeseung take the lead. Even though he was leading you towards his car, he didn’t try walking faster than you, constantly maintaining the same speed as you. You noticed him taking peeks at you occasionally when his pace started to speed up, then he would slow down again. It was a small detail that you took notice, appreciating it more than you should. 
The way to his car was quite a walk. He was walking beside you, always on the outside and made sure you walked on the inside. Was he always like this with everyone else? It was quiet between you two, but it was a comfortable silence. He was aware of your presence, you were aware of his; both were just too scared to be the first to break the ice, or so you thought.
“How did you meet Jake?” 
“Hm?” You snuck a glance at him, processing his question. “Oh, Jake. He’s my cousin,”
“Your—what?”
A humorous laugh slipped out of you. You loved this part, where everyone gets shocked at you casually dropping the news about your blood relation with Jake. Heeseung, on the other hand, realised that he wasn’t actually familiar with Jake’s family besides his parents and siblings. Seeing Heeseung being thoroughly shocked, you took the opportunity to continue.
“Yeah, he’s my cousin. Usually people don’t expect us to be related so I totally get your reaction,” a smile rests upon your lips, one that Heeseung didn’t miss. “I’m an only child, and he was the cousin that constantly played with me, so that’s mainly why we grew close,”
Heeseung unknowingly smiled at the thought of little Jake and you running around. He knew what his best friend was like, and realising the fact that he maintained the same outgoing personality was absolutely heartwarming. 
“Growing up, I knew he wanted to be an F1 driver, I’d occasionally tag along to his karting races. Soon, his F3, F2 races. It all went by like a blur, and suddenly he’s racing for an F1 team. That’s probably when I came to the realisation that I wanted to be a trainer too, I guess it was mainly because of that and him,” you shrugged, shying under the constant eye contact with Heeseung. He was all ears, never interrupting you once. 
“And now you get to tag along to every one of his races full time,” 
“Exactly,”
“Hey,�� a thought suddenly sprang to his mind, wrinkles forming in between his eyebrows. “If you knew Jake was an F1 driver, then how did you not know I was one too?”
You snorted, shrugging your shoulders a little dramatically. “Well, sorry Mr Famous, I don’t like constantly watching cars drive in circles,”
“They’re not circles!”
“To me it is,” you heard a huff coming from him, laughing quietly under your breath. “I only kept up with Jake, but I guess I’ll start keeping up with you now, Mr three times world champion,”
“I’m honoured,” he placed a hand on his chest, flashing a toothy grin that made his nose crinkle, the sight unintentionally making your heart skip a beat. “You’ve got to support Ferrari,” he was referring to his own team, a sense of pride and honour as he said it, even you could tell how much he loved them.
“I don’t think Jake’s going to be happy about that,” you slowed down your steps as you approached a sports car that you figure was Heeseung’s, the Ferrari emblem shining brightly. “But, maybe I’ll have to make an exception,”
“You won’t regret it,” he said confidently, winking at you playfully, which earned him an eye roll from you. The change compared to his personality earlier on didn’t go unnoticed by you. The clumsy, shy and dorky him had a confident and cocky side to him. Noted.
Before you could reach down to open the door to the passenger side, Heeseung’s hand reached for it first, almost like it was his second instinct with how natural he was. He pulled the door open for you, and you turned to look at him, ignoring the minimal distance in between. Holding his eye contact for more than two seconds (yes, you counted) was intense. It took you everything to break his stare and enter his car, not missing his hand at the top of your head as you got in. 
You watched as he circled the car to get to his side, waiting patiently and sneakily looking around the interior. The hood of the car was closed, and you imagined for a second what it would be like to drive with the hood open, feeling the wind brush against your face. It was a two seater car, despite that, it was big and comfortable enough inside, the seats had you melted into it the moment you got in. So, this was what expensive cars felt like. 
Heeseung entered the car with a quiet grunt, revving the engine to a start and turned his head to check up on you, a small smile appearing on his face upon meeting your gaze. He caught you staring at him, didn’t he? 
“Nice car,” you complimented a little too awkwardly, which also made Heeseung chuckle stiffly, seemingly caught off guard too. 
“Thank you,” he smoothed his hand over the steering wheel, then pulled the car into drive. “Question, can I ask you something?”
You arched an eyebrow, wondering what was coming your way. Heeseung took that as a sign to continue, keeping his concentration on the road but actually, he just didn't want to face you as he asked the question.
“Be honest, that night when I was drunk, did that give you a bad impression? ‘Cause I swore your eyes was yelling it,”
Nothing prepared you for that. Not that it was bad, just unexpected. Moreover, you were surprised at him remembering the happenings that night, and not only that, to overthink it too? You couldn't blame him though, you would too.
“Okay, I'm being honest. Yeah, kind of? I thought you were some random drunk and I was scared for my life until I saw you were trying to get in—which I also thought you were breaking in at first—”
“That's harsh,”
“I had some drinks myself too, alright?” You snorted, remembering that night where you weren't fully drunk but intoxicated enough to think your next door neighbour, whose existence you didn't even know, was getting robbed. “You seemed fine, just maybe the heavy smell of perfume coming from you gave off a bad, and also odd first impression,”
“I swear I’m not some playboy,” it was a genuine misconception for most. Heeseung gave off the vibes of some womaniser that thinks he has power, money and influence just because he was a top Formula One racer, but truth be told, he was the opposite. The people closest to him knew that, not the one that the media created.
Judging from your sceptical raise of an eyebrow, Heeseung had a feeling you were doubting him. He feigned a shocked expression “Did you really think I’m the kind to bring a woman into my bed each night?”
“I didn’t say that! You’re a total opposite of what I thought you were—in a good way,”
“But your look was intending that you thought of it, about me being a playboy of some sort,”
“Maybe just a little, teensy bit,”
“I’m hurt,”
“It’s the aura,” you scrambled to pick up at the pieces, all while Heeseung enjoyed teasing you. “I mean, you’re cute, rich and talented, everybody wants you,”
“Doesn’t mean I want them either,” he pressed his lips in a flat line, shrugging lightly. Beside him, your eyes twinkled. What he said shouldn’t have set some small hope in you. Dude, you barely know him! But, you couldn’t help wanting him secretly. “Also, did you just call me cute?”
“I—” you sputtered, not expecting him to catch that. Heeseung was grinning like crazy. Oh, he was so definitely enjoying poking fun at you. You crossed your arm, turning your nose up at him. “Maybe I did, maybe I didn’t,”
“I’m pretty sure you did,” he let out a chortle, finding your denial humorous and enjoyable. Just simply being with you was enjoyable. “I’m honoured … yet again,”
“Yeah, yeah,” you waved him off, feeling your cheeks heating up just a bit. No way he caught you slacking like that. How did you even manage to pull that anyway? Whatever. 
The conversation soon died down, letting the music from the radio overtake the silence between you and him. On the drive back, you couldn’t take your eyes off the bypassing streets and buildings. You were in Monaco. That itself sounded surreal and unbelievable, and something you didn’t have in plan until now. The change was unexpected, but maybe it was something you needed.
“Honestly, I didn’t expect myself to be here right now,” you said out of the blue, speaking your mind ever so casually. You didn’t even realise yourself getting comfortable with Heeseung overtime, everything just seemed too natural when it comes to hanging around Heeseung. Was that normal?
“What do you mean?”
“I originally thought I’ll end up as a trainer in some football club since it was something I wanted,”
Another fact that surprised Heeseung. He glanced at you. “Football fan?”
“Kinda, I guess you could say that,”
“Maybe it’s fate,” he decided, a lighthearted assumption that you once had in mind as well. 
“Or maybe Jake saw I was unemployed and took the chances,” you wondered jokingly, but also having your suspicions. 
Heeseung let out a laugh in incredulity, shaking his head. “Either way, it was meant to be, you being here and working for Jake,”
Nodding a little, you considered his words. It was most likely meant to be. Monaco, Jake, meeting Heeseung. Something was in store for you. “Well, I’m quite glad,” you purse your lips and paused, “I got to meet you too,”
“Huh—” his head snapped to look at you in a flash, the look on his face telling you he thought he might’ve heard you wrongly. That’s when he had to regain his composure and maintain a stable breathing, “me too.”
The weight of your words and Heeseung’s reply were on each of your shoulders individually, both of you were unable to get the moment from earlier out of your minds. Leading up to the part where you and him reached the floor of your apartments, he walked you to your door and stood there, waiting for you to turn to him, which you did after breathing in a deep breath. You met his eyes, ones that resembled a bambi, glistening under the dim light.
“Today was fun, thanks for letting me join,”
“It’s nothing. I’m glad you joined, actually,” he slipped his hands into the pockets of his pants, hiding the fact that his palms were sweating. “If you didn’t, we wouldn’t have properly met and on a much friendlier term,”
“That’s true,” you clutched onto the straps of your bag tighter. “And this won’t be our last meeting either,”
“Definitely,”
“I have a question,”
“Shoot,”
“This might sound odd but I feel like we didn’t properly introduce ourselves,” you looked at him expectantly. “Jake kinda introduced us to each other and I thought it would be wrong to not really get to know one another more personally. You get what I mean? Since we’re neighbours and everything—am I rambling?”
Heeseung grinned at your nervous and jittery demeanour. “Kinda,” he let out a small laugh, his eyes crinkling at the edges. “You’re not entirely wrong,” he extended his hand outward, “I’m Lee Heeseung,”
“Y/N L/N,” you accepted his hand, the coarseness of his skin from the excessive amount of driving over the years met your smoother palms, though it was a short moment, you could feel the contrast of his hand to yours in terms of size as well.
“It’s nice meeting you, neighbour,”
“You too. Heard you’re some hotshot formula one driver,”
“Nah, they’re all just rumours, I’m just your friendly average neighbourhood guy,”
“Who delivers milk,”
“Newspaper,” he corrected, playing along with the joke with a the widest smile, “Some say I might be spiderman,”
“Now you’re going too far,” 
It was natural. All of it was. The flow of the conversation and the way you joked with each other. When you broke out laughing first, Heeseung couldn’t help but laugh along with you, the sounds of your laughter filled the empty hallway.
You didn’t want this to end. Talking to him and staring at him, no, you wished you could continue on. Yet, the words that left your lips were the opposite of how you felt. “I think I should head on in, I probably need a shower,”
“I—uh—same,” a breathy chuckle escaped Heeseung’s pretty lips, and hearing it only made you let out one as well. He was so dorky and awkward, it was cute, and a total contrast of what you had expected of him. 
“See you, Mr World Champion,”
“Bye, pretty,”
Pretty? 
Heeseung’s eyes widened a fraction, shock crossing his face. Did he just … call you that? It was the truth though, a truth that he unknowingly let slip. Lee Heeseung, you should’ve kept that in your mind and not the tip of your lips. He was chastising himself, but you, however, felt your knees weakened as you pressed your keycard onto the sensor.
He called you pretty. Pretty. Pretty!
“Hey, Y/N,” he called out right before you managed to shut your door, narrowly missing you as you were busy having a serious conversation with yourself regarding Heeseung’s pet name. You peaked your head out of the door, an expecting expression staring back at him. “Uh—if you need anything or any help, I’m always next door. Just—ring my doorbell or something, I’ll be there,”
What a sweetheart.
“Thank you, Hee, likewise,” you casted him your sweetest smile, then waved briefly and closed your door with a small click.
Hee? Hee! Oh my God. That just left your lips.
Heeseung couldn’t believe it himself. First, he called you ‘pretty’, and now, you called him ‘Hee’. He was winning, and never in a lifetime would he expect the day where he felt his heartbeat speeding up because of someone instead of racing.
Side by side, in different rooms with only a wall separating you and Heeseung, the two of you had your backs pressed against the front door. Processing and reflecting on what had happened, from the words said and the gestures made, all of them were taken notice and stored in each of your head. Butterflies and beating hearts overtook your bodies, the prospect of someone to look forward to now plagued your minds.
It was the start of something.
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Whether it was a coincidence or on purpose, none of you knew the truth.
The times you've bumped into one another was more than imagined. Throwing out the trash? Oh, Heeseung just got back from the gym, looking absolutely scrumptious and waving at you. Going out for a morning jog? Heeseung coincidentally was doing the same and eventually joined you. 
Were you complaining though? No, you took every possible chance to see him, even if it was a glimpse or a 'hi' or small talks.
There's one thing you've got to admit. He was unhealthy for you.
The months passed and the routine of the both of you bumping into each other somehow became standing outside the door to talk longer and progressed into exchanging phone numbers, which was long overdue in your opinion. 
What amazed you most was him texting you first. It didn't even take him long to do that, in fact, it was on the same night you gave him your number. Wow. It then turned into you huddled in bed, stalking his Instagram profile and laughing at the range of pictures taken.
Obviously, pictures of his career and wins were the majority, ones that even included Jake who shared the same podium as him. With more scrolls, you discovered more natural pictures of him. 'Boys night' or 'chill days' captions under selfies or group photos. The recent one was ‘Happy New Years!’ with him in a party hat accompanied by some of his friends. 
That night, you went to bed a little too giddy and hit the 'follow' button without thinking twice. The morning was even better when you saw him following you back, and that only prompted you to bake a load of cookies, which explained the reason why you were standing in front of his door, a box of fresh cookies in hand.
It took you only one ring of the doorbell to have Heeseung appear, a hand on the door, body dressed in a casual outfit of black tee and sweatpants. Okay, breathe.
“Hello, hello,” he greeted, not missing the box you were holding.
“Hey, kinda random but I baked some cookies and I have extras so I wanted to give them to you if it's alright,”
Heeseung visibly beamed at your offer, eyes shining like a little kid at the candy shop. “It's more than alright actually,” he looked behind his shoulder for a quick second, “if so, would you want to come in and have a quick bite? I'll give you my honest feedback,”
“That's very Gordon Ramsey of you, why not,”
He stepped aside to let you in, and you gladly did so, gaze flickering around to take in the interior of his apartment. All of which screamed his vibes. You caught sight of some formula one car figurines and a couple of trophies on a shelf. 
“Cool collection you've got here. How much were these?” You pointed at his trophies, joking in an attempt to lighten the mood. You knew it was received well after you heard him laughing breathily as the door clicked shut.
“Just a couple thousands, no biggy,” he played along, ushering you to join him at the table with a wave of his hand. "I see someone's been stalking me lately," he said once you sat next to him, and you almost wanted to leave the moment you heard it.
“I did not stalk you,” you defended yourself, even if it meant you were lying. “I just wanted to follow you since we're more closer now,”
You swore you saw Heeseung's eyes soften at the mention of you and him growing closer. He let out a hum. “For a moment I thought you were thinking about me,”
Spoiler: you were. 
It took Heeseung minimal effort for him to make you fluster. Judging from the way you nervously open the box and push it to him, actively ignoring what he just said. “Here,”
“Thanks, sweets,”
There it was again. Another pet name that slipped from his tongue way too naturally. It even caught him off guard, thinking he should be more appropriate around you since you two were just getting to know each other. But how could he? Not when you were giving him a hard time by taking over his mind.
“These look good,” he said upon opening up the box, a smile creeping up onto his lips. Without hesitation, he grabbed one and took a bite out of it, savouring the taste of the fresh cookie. 
His nod of approval was the seal of validation for you. “Good, right?” him humming in agreement only made your smile wider in satisfaction and victory.
“Is this how you buy your way into people’s hearts? It’s definitely working for me,” Heeseung stared at the rest of the pile in awe, not realising how his words made you fluster even more. 
“Not just anybody,”
His gaze averted to you, a tinge of pink painted at his cheeks. It was unnoticeable in plain sight, but Heeseung himself could feel the heat creeping up the back of his neck. The feeling was overwhelming till the point he had to let out a cough. You were staring back at him innocently.
“Preseason starts soon. Testing in Bahrain,” you switched the topic, noticing the both of you being equally caught off guard. 
“Oh, yeah,” time passed by in a blur and Heeseung didn’t even realise February was coming along. “It’s really soon, huh? New Years was literally a few weeks ago? How was your New Year, by the way?”
“It was chill, didn’t do much since I don’t know many people here and all my colleagues are in other countries,” you mumbled the last part a little too sadly, but it was the truth, being alone in a different country was a new kind of foreign that hits harder than you expected.
“Ah. I didn’t know you were free and available that day, if I did, I would’ve invited you to the party the boys had—” that Instagram post, “You know what Jake said to me? ‘Take care of Y/N on my behalf too, she's new here and doesn't have many friends’,”
“He didn’t need to expose me like that,” you rolled your eyes in irritation at the mention of your cousin brother’s name, and what he said on top of that. It was partially the truth. “But it’s fine, Hee, he did bring it up over the phone but I chose to stay in. Too much testosterone concentrated in one party,”
“Not true, there were girls there too,”
“Does that make it sound better?”
Heeseung gulped, realising it in fact doesn’t make it sound better. “Well, no,”
“You athletes and partying and women scares me,” you played with the box, not wanting to imagine Heeseung with some other woman. There was one thing you had to remind yourself: stay away from athletes. For the reasons of them being unfaithful, rich, famous, snobby, womanisers, cocky—
“Not all of us are like that,”
Heeseung wasn’t like that. 
“I mean, yeah, I know some of the drivers are like that but most of us aren’t,” he continued on, seeing the worry dissolving from your face. He knew what he was doing, you were aware too, he was trying to give you assurance, catching on to the underlying meaning of your words. “The guys I hang around with have girlfriends and trust me, they’re loyal as ever, the ones that are single only actively search for girls. Even if so, they aren’t as playboy behaviour as you think,”
“Genuinely?”
“Genuinely,”
“What about you?”
Heeseung pursed his lips. “I haven’t been in a relationship in years,” he shrugged quite pathetically, “I’m practically living like a man who hasn’t felt a woman’s touch in years, because it’s mostly true,”
“Come on, really? The Lee Heeseung is bitchless? I don’t believe it,”
“Ask my friends! It’s been a while,” he laughed that eventually turned into a  sigh, shaking his head slightly. “I don’t know, I admit, there were lots who tried hitting me up, but none of them truly meant it. You know what I mean? Especially after winning my championship, it felt like I could see through them and their true intentions. I just don’t think they see me as me. They see me as Formula One champion, famous and on the top of the world, but I’m none of that,”
Witnessing Heeseung getting vulnerable with you on a random 6 P.M. was not part of your schedule, but you were relieved he was comfortable enough to share these with you. Him, however, got panicked and didn’t even let you speak when he blurted out, “Sorry, shouldn’t have dumped everything on you—”
“No, no, it’s okay, Hee, really,” you reassured, almost placing your hand on his, but retreating your hand rather reluctantly. “It must be hard to not be able to have anyone see you as the way you truly are. You’re an amazing guy, genuinely. I might know you for a few months only but you’re one of the sweetest guys in my life, it makes sense why Jake regards you as a good friend,”
No words were able to form on Heeseung’s tongue, let alone speak. All he could do was stare at you, a kind of admiration and fascination in his bright irises. 
“I hope you can find the right person soon, even if it takes a while, it’ll be worth it knowing they’re the one,” you bumped his shoulder with yours, and in his perspective, he was sure he would’ve fell if he hadn’t snapped out of his daze. “I get you though. I might not be a world champion but I prioritise my job a lot. Some men don’t see that, at least the ones that I’ve dated. That’s why I’ve been single for quite some time too, and it’s not helping that I’m travelling a lot more now,”
This mild relationship trauma bonding session wasn’t what you two had in mind.
“Just as you said, it’ll be worth it when we find the one even if it takes some time,” Heeseung bumped your shoulder just as you did, a small grin displayed on his pretty face. “We’ll get there,”
“We will,”
What you didn’t know was Heeseung screaming at himself internally. ‘We’ll get there’? No, Heeseung didn’t want you with someone else. Hell, he doesn’t want to see other people either. He couldn’t believe himself for feeling this way. In what way was this a sane man’s behaviour? He’s far from sane.
Worst part of all was the two of you were equally running in circles together. You were interested in him and he was interested in you, but none of you dared to make any certain moves. Was it the fear? Was it because you were scared Heeseung might break your heart? Was it because Heeseung was scared you’d be affected by him? It was only going to be complicated the more it went on. But were you going to acknowledge that right now? Absolutely not. As they say, go with the flow, right? 
“Wanna grab dinner together? Heard there’s a new sushi place down the street,” you let Heeseung take the box from your hold, watching him place it on his coffee table so that he could enjoy it some other time. 
“Sounds good.”
There was no denial that something was growing between you and him.
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Time passing by in a blur wasn't a great thing at all. Not to you and Heeseung anyway.
The oncoming F1 season starting soon only meant having to travel more and moments spent being next door lessened. This fact was apparent and undeniable, one that both you and Heeseung were aware of, and an unspoken urge to hang out more developed.
It first started when you invited Jake over for dinner after a hard training session, and miraculously on the way to your door, Heeseung showed up, just on time. He was about to leave for dinner, and Jake being Jake, he invited Heeseung to join you two with no hesitation. From then on, even without Jake’s presence, you found yourself having dinner at Heeseung’s house and watching movies together. Wild, wasn’t it? 
Maybe it was a good thing you were getting closer and more comfortable with him. You needed more friends other than just Jake in this line of work. For now, Heeseung was equally a great company that knew how to make you laugh and bring out the other side of you that you kept away from others.
However, no matter how close you were with him now, you were not prepared for whatever happened that day at all.
“Can I shower at your place?”
Opening the door to find a messy haired Heeseung in his grey sweatpants almost had you slamming the door in his face out of pure instinct. The sight was dangerous for you. You were just a girl after all. A man in grey sweatpants was a killer.
“Excuse me?”
“Hear me out,” he dramatically placed his hands out, putting on the most convincing look after seeing your doubtful expression. “My shower broke and the guy I called could only come by tomorrow to fix it, so I can't shower now, but, I need to shower,”
You considered for a moment, but unable to put up your front the more you glanced at Heeseung's pleading eyes and the desperation coming off him.
“Please, Y/N?”
“Of course, you can, Hee,” you patted him on the shoulder. “I'm not cruel enough to let you stink,”
“You're a lifesaver,” he sighed in relief, the desperation melted into gratefulness, you've never seen a man as desperate to shower as him at that moment. “I'll bring some ramen for us to eat after, sounds good?”
“Absolutely,”
“Great. Don't tell Andrew this though,” he was referring to his personal trainer, and you smiled.
“I won't, now hurry up before I close my door,”
Heeseung was quick to grab his items and rush into your apartment as if his life depended on it. A tray filled with his toiletries and a towel hung around his neck, he gave you a charming smile when he saw you approaching him after closing the door.
“Realised I've never been over much,” he said, eyes wandering around the corners of your living room.
“You never asked and I didn't offer, that's why I'm always at yours,”
“We need to switch it up soon, or else we'll have to wait months to be back,”
“Right,” you nodded a little solemnly at the mention of the long period of being away. “The bathroom's down the hallway, just walk straight and it's there,”
“Got it,” he snapped his fingers once he averted his gaze away from the direction you pointed. “Wait for me to cook the ramen,”
“You know I always do.”
That was exactly what you did: wait for him. You could hear the shower running in your quiet apartment, and it only made you think. He was in your house, showering. An F1 driver. If you told the you from months back that this would happen, you’d be livid.
The on and off conversation you had with yourself about Heeseung went on for a while until you heard some crashing noises that definitely came from the bathroom. Did he fall? There’s no way, right? The paranoia had you jumping out of your seat and jogging towards your bathroom. A knock from you once and there came Heeseung’s panicked voice.
“I’m okay! I dropped your shampoo bottle!” he yelled back, but most importantly was what he did next. He swung the door open, revealing him with only a towel hanging around his waist, hair visibly wet and his bare upper body on display. You shouldn’t look, you shouldn’t look, you shouldn’t—
You did what you couldn’t do earlier, which was closing the door on Heeseung. This time around, you finally found the strength and pulled the handle, closing the door and shocking both you and him. Okay, you needed that though.
Despite doing all that, the damage was unfortunately already done and the image of his bare body was burnt into your mind. Were you complaining? Secretly, you weren’t. But you were worried awkward tension might mess everything up. 
Acting natural was what you could do, focusing on the screen of your phone even when you heard his footsteps against the wooden floor and his soft humming that was heading your way. Your attention strayed away from the video you were watching, instead focusing on his humming, recognising the song he was humming to. It was a Justin Bieber song. What was the title of the song? Off something? Off—
“What are you watching?” Heeseung was suddenly standing next to you, head leaned down and the scent of his shampoo invaded your senses. It wasn’t just that, his face was quite literally next to yours, one wrong move and you’d clash your face with his. When you turned your head, he was already staring at you, a smile tugged at his lips.
“J–Just a stupid video,” why did he have you stutter? Stand up!
“Looks interesting,” he noted, straightening up and was no longer torturously close to you. Thank God. “So, ramen?”
“Definitely,”
You watched as Heeseung shuffled around the kitchen, sitting leisurely on the high stool behind the counter. He, who insisted on being the one who cooked, was struggling to find the pots and pans, but somehow still managing throughout. As he waited for the ramen to cook, he had his hand resting on the counter top, standing faced towards you, gaze staying on you.
“Sorry for just now,” he started, getting your attention and your ears perked up. “Didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable,”
“It’s fine, Hee, stuff happens,” you tried your best at seeming nonchalant, but you were actually crumbling internally. You could tell the both of you were struggling. 
“Well, opening the door and seeing me half naked isn't exactly just 'stuff happens',” he scratched the back of his neck awkwardly, but you couldn't help cracking a smile at his demeanour. 
“You're fine. Everything's okay. It's not like I'm banning you from my home and filing a restraining order,” you reassured him for the millionth time, watching the distress on his face gradually melt away and shoulders relaxing. “It was a slip up and I'm not uncomfortable at all. For a moment I thought you fell and something happened, I'm much more glad finding out you didn't,”
“Thank God that didn't happen,” he breathed out a sigh of relief, closing the fire now that the ramen was done cooking. His back was faced towards you, and all you could focus on rather shamelessly was the wideness of his back. 
“I would've saved you,”
“My knightress in shining armour,” he took a peek back at you, meeting your eyes for a split second before turning away, a smile plastered on his face evident from his voice. 
It didn't take long before Heeseung was done with the ramen, serving two bowls onto the counter and joining your side. He even prepared two boiled eggs for you that you specifically requested every time you had ramen together. It only took once for Heeseung to remember. 
“Are you prepared for the new season?” You asked, trying to crack your egg but was visibly struggling. Heeseung then wordlessly took it from you, knocking it against the counter and peeling it slowly.
He hummed. “Physically, yes. Mentally, no,”
You frowned at his response, eyes following his hands as he placed down one freshly peeled hard boiled egg and took the other to get rid of the shells. “How come?”
“I don't know. I think I've always felt like this before the season starts,” he pursed his lips thoughtfully, merely shrugging and taking bites of his ramen. “Think the car's going to be good—I hope—I'm bound to know in a week at preseason testing,”
“It will be! You'll do well,”
“You have that much faith in me?”
“Mr Three Times World Champion? Yeah,”
“Over your own cousin?”
“I have faith in both of you,” you scrunch your nose at the mention of Jake, having to pit him and Heeseung against each other was unfair 
Heeseung clicked his tongue, letting out a 'tch'. “Not fair,”
“It is fair,” you rolled your eyes at him, naturally and smoothly putting half an egg into his bowl that he gladly accepted.
“Will you mostly be at the Mclaren hospitality?”
“Not during races. Will probably be at the garage. Depends on Jake though, wherever he goes, I'll go,”
He finished the last of his ramen, nodding at your response. “It'll be easier for me to find you, then,”
“You're saying it as if you've got something up your sleeves,”
“Hey, I just wanna see you,” he threw his hands up in mock surrender, a sense of sincerity visible in his gaze. 
“I'm not opposed to that,”
“I'll come find you when you least expect it,” he noted, and you shook your head, laughing quietly. “I'll take you out to dinner too, wherever you want,”
“Even if it's just a simple ramen in your hotel room?”
“I'll be down,” Heeseung said without any hesitation. You couldn't tell if he genuinely loved ramen that much or he was just willing to be flexible for you. Maybe both.
“I'm looking forward to it,”
“It'll be on me, as a way of repayment,”
“You're already feeding me free ramen, I think you're fine,” you gestured at the two empty bowls that were only filled with leftover soup.
“Better food,” he added, eyebrows rising in an attempt to have you tempted as well. “At least, higher quality ramen," he paused, taking in your contemplating expression. “Come on, I want to do it, so let me, please?”
You were grinning at his determination, and at the same time, you couldn't entirely reject his willingness. “Well … if you're genuinely willing, then I'm alright with it,”
Heeseung exhaled in both relief and victory, smiling quite stupidly at his success. “Let me treat you, okay?”
You nodded, picking up the two bowls to place into the sink, swearing that you've got it and having to make him back down from washing them since had already done the cooking. “Yes, yes, Mr World Champion,”
He suddenly barked out a laugh, throwing his head back with ease. “You've got to stop calling me that. I might not even be World Champion this season,”
“Why not?” You steal a glance at him, noticing he was already watching you as you washed the dishes. 
“Who knows? Anything can happen.”
Anything can happen. 
Heeseung had a feeling that wasn't just referring to his upcoming season, but also insinuating a change between you and him. Anything could literally happen. That was what scared him but also excited him.
It was going to be a long season ahead.
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– MELBOURNE, AUSTRALIA, 2023
You finally understood Heeseung's popularity. Might've taken a while, but now, your eyes have been opened. 
The season started off gracefully right after preseason testing. You found yourself running around quite a lot and being much busier than expected. The new life of working in a motorsport environment was humbling but also rewarding.
After the first two races, you slowly got used to the busier lifestyle, enjoying the trackside views and getting a better insight of what's happening in the garage. 
Other than that, you weren't surprised Heeseung had bagged the opening races easily. You watched from the Mclaren garage as he crossed the finish line, leading up to him celebrating at the podium with some familiar faces. Jake almost came in close, but unfortunately, missed out on the podium. Still, it was a strong start.
That was the reason why trying to speak to Heeseung face-to-face was much more of a struggle than you'd initially thought. He was big, like big big. He was always swarmed post race, fans crowded him and constantly busy with many other duties. The only time you got to speak was congratulating him for his win, and the rest was left to iMessage. 
Yet, you didn't miss his lingering gaze amongst the crowd of people. It was as if you were the only person there to him there and then.
The third race soon rolled around, meaning it was the Australian Grand Prix. Look, you loved Melbourne, but you swore your jet lag was about to take you out. It didn’t help that it was media day as well, which included having to partake in press conferences, video shoots and other promotional related things. Your legs weren’t getting much breaks either knowing you’d have to follow Jake around to all these.
Being Jake’s assistant almost felt like you were babysitting a child sometimes. The morning of media day was rough. You couldn’t find Jake after leaving him at the garage for only a few minutes, only to come back to engineers and no driver that resembled a puppy in sight. 
A headache wasn’t the ideal to welcome the first thing in the morning. You decided to rush out and walk around, texting him feverishly as you rounded the place. It was then you rounded a corner and focused too much on your phone—people were right about not walking while using phones—when you bumped into someone.
Heeseung.
His expression contorted into a mixture of shock, relief and happiness. You, yourself, felt like your breath was knocked out of you. Just staring at him was enough to have you rooted to the ground.
“Hi,” you exhaled, not giving a care if you looked abysmal at that moment, dressed in a papaya coloured work uniform.
“Hey,” his eyes visibly brightened up, a sweet smile slowly spreading. “What's got you so busy with your phone?” He pointed at your phone, genuine curiosity sparkled in his irises.
“Jake, that's what,” you groaned, waving your phone in annoyance. “He disappeared from the garage and he's supposed to be getting ready for press,”
Heeseung suddenly looked guilty, which only prompted you to raise your eyebrow at him, signalling him to spill. “He snuck out to find me, and I think he's already snuck back to the garage. Sorry about that,”
“Why are you guys acting like a forbidden couple sneaking around?”
“What if we are?”
You rolled your eyes at him, a habit that you found yourself doing a lot around him. “Sure you are,” you replied sarcastically, and it made him laugh. 
“When will you let me take you out for dinner?” Heeseung frowned, slipping his hands into his pockets and leaning back a bit.
“I'm free whenever,”
“That's a lie,”
“Fine. That is a lie,” you sighed, remembering your busy schedule that was just as hectic as his. “There's a few weeks break after this weekend, just before Baku,”
“Right,” the gears were turning in Heeseung's head, faintly recalling the season's schedule. “Will you be back in Monaco?”
“I will,”
“Great,” he was having a hard time hiding his true emotions, suppressing his big goofy smile into a nonchalant one. “I'll have a table booked, and I'll just text you the details,”
“Sounds amazing,” it was beyond amazing. 
Even though you two acted like it was only a normal dinner, both of you had a secret feeling it wasn't just that. Not at all. It was clear in the air that a certain emotion and tension lingered in the air, getting heavier as time passed.
“I've been dying to talk to you,” he confessed out of the blue, taking you and him, apparently, by surprise. If you had to be honest, you felt the same. “Me being too caught up with everything and you adjusting to the job, I just wished we got to talk more rather than just texting,”
“Are you saying that just because you keep losing at 8-Ball?” It was true. Heeseung might be a good Formula One driver, but horribly skilled at iMessage games.
“No,” he was quick to deny it, but you knew he was just saving face, so you spared him and waved it off.
“Kidding. I really wanted to talk to you too. It felt weird,”
“What does?”
“You are so close but too far to reach. You’re constantly surrounded, and it feels like I can’t reach you, it feels strange and distant, very foreign,” you didn’t even realise you’ve let the pent up amount of pining slip into your words, but it seemed he felt the same, being able to understand as his gaze softened. You were clutching onto your phone for dear life, knowing sweat was forming on your palm from the nervousness. “But it's great to see you winning, the first two races were crazy,”
“You think so?”
“I know so,” 
“Says the person who thinks the sport is just cars driving in circles,”
“Hey!” you exclaimed, holding in your laugh as you watched Heeseung raise his eyebrows with a grin. “Okay, maybe I’m slowly getting the hype,”
“So … not fully, yet?”
“You’ve got to show me more to fully get it,”
Heeseung’s ears definitely perked up at what you said, but he didn’t want to overthink it and overanalyzed the hidden meanings behind it, so he tried keeping his nonchalant front. “I’ll show you,” he merely said, winking cheekily at you.
“Alright, World Champion. I think it’s also time for us to leave, especially you. You’ve got press with Jake,” 
“Right, almost forgot,” he chuckled awkwardly, jerking his thumb over his shoulder. “I should probably go,”
“You should,”
“I’ll see you,” he started walking backwards, not turning his back on you yet. “Let me know once you’re back. I’ll tell you the details once I’ve settled it,”
“You’ve got it,”
He nodded, still backing away stiffly and you wanted to burst out laughing at the way he’s acting. You crossed your arms, placing your weight on one leg, staring at him, amused. “You know the Ferrari hospitality is in the opposite direction to where you’re heading, right?”
He stopped in his tracks, then tilted his head, resembling a lost puppy. “Is it?”
“Yes, it is, Heeseung,” you sighed, beckoning him to come forward.  “Let’s just walk back together,”
Heeseung was good at hiding his embarrassment. He could feel heat creeping up the back of his neck, but not reaching his face, instead to the tips of his ears. Yet, the moment he joined your side and saw your smile, every negative thought dissipated, and he let himself feel when he’s in your presence. His sly brush against your shoulders and hands didn’t go unnoticed by you. All you could do was hold your calm until you reached back to your own hospitality, seeing Jake there and you were silently grateful he didn’t stay in the garage.
“What’s got you so … glowy this early in the morning?”
You snapped up from your phone screen, meeting Jake’s narrowed suspicious gaze. “What?”
“Don’t just ‘what’ me, something happened, didn’t it? You seem so smiley and giddy,”
Was it that obvious? “I don’t know what you’re talking about. Maybe it’s that overpriced smoothie I got for breakfast,”
“I drank it too!”
“Maybe it’s not working for you,” you shrugged, facing a pouty Jake that was displaying his best attempt at sad teary eyes. “It’s the sad truth,”
He huffed. “Whatever. We should get to the press before I get my ass beat,”
“Yeah, by me.”
Jake eventually forgot about his whole suspicion on you once the race weekend arrived and passed. You consider yourself lucky for that. It was probably fated for what happened next. Him and Heeseung managed to claim their spots on the podium next to each other that race weekend, earning points for their championships and teams. It was one of those times where you ran to pull Jake in a big hug, just like old times. 
In the midst of it all, seeing Heeseung approaching you brought out the instinct in you to pull him in a hug as well. Despite him being covered in sweat and you in another team’s uniform, you and him both stood there as if it was only you two alone. You were able to speak to Heeseung for a bit, congratulating him and shaking him in excitement. Maybe it was a heat of the moment thing, but Heeseung pressed a kiss on your cheek, leaving you stunned. Before you could even give a reaction, he got whisked away, resulting in you and him each frowning and frazzled. 
You stood there, all stunned and fingers softly touching the spot where his lips made contact with just a moment ago. The same lips that curved into a smile that you adored and spewed stupid jokes which never failed to make you laugh.
Snap out of it!
Oh.
You were utterly screwed.
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– MONTE CARLO, MONACO, 2023
Nothing felt better than being back to the comforts of your own home.
It was odd, calling Monaco your home now. If you had to be fully honest, you missed your real home. The place where you old friends and family stayed while you were currently miles away. 
The ping from your phone eventually brought you out of your reminiscence and diverted your attention. It was good timing, or else you would've broken down crying thinking about it more. 
hee(neigh)bour: free tonight?
you: yes!
hee(neigh)bour: expect me at 6 pm ;) we're going fancyyy
Was that winky face necessary? Yet, it still somehow made you laugh. It didn't last long once you realised the little time you had to get ready. Five hours wasn't enough. You needed a day to fully mentally and physically get yourself together. 
Heeseung was taking you out to dinner. Was it a date? Did he think it was one? No, don't overthink it, it's just a dinner, a friendly dinner. 
You didn't want it to stop at that, though. Shamelessly, you wanted it to be a date.
You wished you were lying when you said you spent two hours trying on outfits and rummaging through your closet for anything that was fancyyy, just as Heeseung mentioned. In the end, you settled for a dusty pink satin midi dress that you got online not long ago thanks to some tacky fashion blog. It was something you've barely worn before, the open back and silky material was probably the most fancy you could dig out from your closet.
The clock was ticking close to six, you made sure your makeup wasn't smudged or your purse wasn't left on the side of your couch, carelessly stumbling around as you balanced on one leg trying to get your heels on. Your heart shouldn't be beating over the normal speed, but it was. The moment your hand twisted the doorknob, clock ticking right at six o'clock, and with one twist of a hand, the door opened and the doorbell rang, you stood still.
“Heeseung,”
“Y/N, hey,” he breathed out, gulping at the sight of you. The timing of your exit and his appearance collectively gave you and him a whiplash, but seeing him managed to calm your nerves a lot more.
Heeseung was dressed in a simple suit and tie, hair styled down, but still managing to be as handsome as ever. What really caught your eye was the small bouquet of flowers in his hand, explaining why he was shifting around nervously. 
“I've got you flowers,” he held it up, gaze held with expectations and a sweet smile facing you. It was a pretty and delicately made bouquet with colourful flowers. Cute. Both him and the bouquet.
“Thank you,” you accepted them from him, smiling wider, and it almost felt like you'd be smiling non stop whenever you're around him. “They're really pretty,”
“You're really pretty too,” he was quick to compliment you, too quick that even he didn’t realise until a beat later, reddening in surprise. “I—”
“Thanks, Hee, you’re really handsome too,” you kept your cool, though feeling the heat creeping up your cheeks as well. In a third perspective, you two probably looked like blushing idiots.
He visibly straightened, clearing his throat and gradually regaining his composure. One thing Heeseung wasn’t going to do tonight was crumble, but with you around, it’s hard to say. “Thank you. Shall we get going?” 
“Yes! After I put the flowers away, wait a minute, okay?”
Heeseung let out a soft ‘okay’ and laughed under his breath, watching you run back in and filling a vase full of water, proceeding to chuck the flowers in carelessly. Your heels were clicking against the floor noisily, and soon you were in front of him again, smiling abashedly. “I’ll make sure to deal with the flowers more nicer when I get back,”
Heeseung waved you off, guiding you forward. “No worries about that, I can always get you new ones.”
Heeseung might’ve not realised how lasting the effects of his words were, because you were a flustered mess while he continued on as if nothing happened. He couldn’t just say that and expect zero reactions from you!
The drive there might’ve been a little quiet from time to time, but you basked in the silence and admired the scenery of Monte Carlo. It almost felt like you were a kid in a new country again and was constantly wowed by new things. Apparently Heeseung could tell that about you. He occasionally casted glances at you, smiling mostly to himself when you were too caught up and blabbering about the most random things, listening to every one of them while you thought he wasn’t. 
“No, I have to agree, I think pouring milk after the cereal is much more … normal than cereal after milk,” Heeseung was holding back his laugh as he agreed with you when you two were walking to the restaurant.
“I know right! Say that to some of my colleagues,”
“No way,”
“Yes way,” you displayed a horrified expression, but it only melted into a smile once you saw Heeseung's face. 
You hated it. This unexplainable feeling you always had around Heeseung. It never faded away, but instead grew stronger and persisted as time passed. What was it? Why were you like this?
For the time being, you kicked aside the countless thoughts of Heeseung and actually tried to immerse yourself in the dinner with the real Heeseung in front of you. It was hard to concentrate entirely. Your main focus wasn’t even on the smoked salmon on your plate nor the ancient wine in your glass; it was on Heeseung. 
He asked you about almost everything, putting the spotlight on you for most of the dinner, which was quite surprising for you. But what he failed to know was you having trouble formulating a proper answer considering how your mind couldn’t stop wandering over to him. It was annoying that he had completely taken over you and your head in the span of a few months. 
It was even more annoying how nice and soft hearted he was. He proved that by telling you the bill was already paid and wholeheartedly declining your offer to pay back, insisting that he was the one who invited you out anyway. You could only accept your defeat, but promised him you’d treat him to some ramen. 
The walk back to the car was excruciating. It was mostly silent, but that was not the problem, it was the tension filled air that made your skin crawl. You and him were both tired, and you’d said what you wanted to say during dinner, so comfortable silence eventually settled in the air. You could feel his lingering gaze on you, and you were sure he felt yours on him as well. It was just a waiting game for one of you to speak up at that point. 
It must’ve been an unsaid rule. Heeseung didn’t think twice before opening the door of the passenger side for you, bambi-like eyes staring back at you, a small smile on his lips. “M’lady,” 
You cracked a smile at his behaviour, shaking your head slightly and thanked him as you got in. Everything happening before you almost gave you a sense of deja vu from months ago where you were last in his car. Back when you were barely friends but somehow there was an undeniable spark between you and him. Nothing has changed, neither the dynamics nor you and him in general, all of it was the same, but probably better.
“What are you thinking about?” Heeseung’s voice drew you out from your small bubble of thoughts. It was then you realised that you were soon reaching the apartment complex.
“Us,’’
Heeseung was quiet for a beat, the both of you processing what you said differently. His head snapped to look at you, and you gulped, cursing at yourself for letting your tongue loose. “I mean, the time we met,”
“What about it?” he kept his composure, you could tell that he did.
“I’m getting deja vu to the time we just met. Me in your car and we’re driving back to the apartment,” you decided to be truthful, keeping your eyes straight ahead. “It’s nothing, really, it’s a little stupid,”
“It isn’t,” Heeseung reassured. “It’s normal to reminisce once in a while, and it’s weird, you know? How our emotions and feelings work, it’s all complicated,”
You glanced at him. Feelings and emotions were complicated, he said it almost like he had read your mind. He didn’t notice you staring at him, and continued on. “I’m just glad to have you here, in my life and … in general. Didn’t realise how lonely I was in Monaco until you came into my life,”
Your gaze softened at his words, unable to hide your small frown at the tone of his voice. He turned to look at you for a split second, then broke into a chuckle. “What I’m trying to say is that you’re a good neighbour,” he attempted at diffusing the heavy tension, eliciting a quiet scoff and an amused smile from you. 
The rest of the journey was thankfully much lighter and easy going. Heeseung was too busy indulging in the music playing on the radio to notice you spacing out yet again. His words were dancing in your mind from time to time. You certainly didn’t miss the look in his gaze, even though it was merely a second. 
As you let him hold your hand and lead you, you couldn’t help but feel giddy from a small action like this. Holding your hand tightly and offering his spare slippers to get you out of your heels were simple gestures, but why were they making you flush easily? Maybe it wasn’t just the actions, but also the person behind it.
Standing in front of your door, right beside his, you were facing him with a wavering attempt at maintaining eye contact. It was the same exact spot where you first met him, except this time around, you felt the complete opposite compared to then. Thinking about this spot, in front of your individual front doors, it was crazy that you and him had many encounters here. But at that moment, you stood with a different feeling and emotion, eyes holding a message for him to slowly decipher.
“I really enjoyed the date—” Did you really just say that? You swore you’d keep that to yourself!
Heeseung blinked, looking almost as if he was splashed with a bucket of cold water, totally shell shocked. “Date?” 
You, on the other hand, were freaking out at your own mistake. “Ignore that. It’s a slip of the tongue, it’s stupid, oh my gosh—”
Heeseung was quick to wave his hands. “No, no, it’s fine. I—uh—I really liked this date too,” he was slowly smiling, not denying or correcting you. “I was hoping I can bring you out for another date again,” he made sure to enunciate that word, making his intentions clear. “If it’s all okay with you,”
“I’m more than okay with it,” you exhaled, needing to pinch yourself. 
“Great,” he was good at hiding his joy, suppressing most of it into a smile and slipping his hands into his pants pockets to hide his clammy hands. “It’s time to clear out your schedules,”
“You sound like you’ve already got something in store,”
“Maybe, maybe not,” he simply shrugged. “Get ready to be sick of me during these few weeks,”
“Like I’m not already sick of you,”
“Hey!” 
“Kidding. If you charm me enough, I’ll probably even fall in love with you,”
The gears in Heeseung’s head seemed to have turned, coming up with an idea that you couldn’t predict. You instantly recognised the familiar spark hidden behind his soft gaze, preparing yourself to hear him out on whatever he had hidden in his sleeves. 
“Give me three dates,” he started, the sincerity in voice contrasted with his playful smirk. Screw that, you weren’t prepared for that. “I’ll charm you within these three dates,”
“Seriously? Are you trying to make me fall in love with you?”
“That’s exactly what I’m trying to do,” he didn’t even bother to hide it nor make up excuses, being much more straightforward than you expected. Who gave this man the sudden surge of confidence? “Four dates. I'll plan them and it'll be spontaneously timed,”
“Do you have the time for that, though? The season's schedule—”
“Forget about that, I'll make it work. Just let me take you out on a few dates, how does that sound?”
“Sounds fantastic,” it felt like he had knocked the air out of your lungs. 
Heeseung nodded slowly, seemingly digesting it all too, his smile never once slipped. “Fantastic,” he repeated after you, and it had unknowingly become a habit he picked up on. “I'll let you know when's the first date. Any preference?”
“I have faith in you, Hee,”
“I won't let you down,” his promise sounded like it had a deeper meaning behind it from the tone of his voice. He was serious about making you fall in love with him, but the thing was you already were halfway there. The effort coming from him only made you cave in more and more. “It's getting late, I'm sure you're tired. Should we …" he gestured at the front doors. 
“Oh right, yeah,” you were too deep into the whole conversation to realise you were still standing in front of your apartment. It was embarrassing for you to admit that you weren't willing to leave so soon and wanted to spend more time with Heeseung. You could always invite him over—no, wait—that sounds wrong, you're not going for third base. All you could do was nod along and act casual. Playing hard to get, that was the plan, right? 
“I had a nice time tonight, Hee, thanks for dinner,”
“It was my pleasure. I had a nice time finding out your punk phase in middle school too,”
“Okay, shut up,” you rolled your eyes, remembering the precise moment where you and Heeseung shared stories about each of you. Your big mouth just had to let it slip. “It was the past, and it was a phase,”
The mischievous smile persisted on his pretty face. “I would like to see it come to life again,”
“No you don't,” you poked his shoulder with a finger, and you let a beat pass, not removing it just yet. Heeseung arched an eyebrow in question, maintaining eye contact with you. 
The fingertip pressed against his shoulder eventually travelled upward and your palm pressed onto the same area. Your touch was gentle, fingers holding onto his shoulder lightly. “Goodnight, Hee,”
He visibly gulped, surprised at how close you've gotten in a split second. Not to mention, your touch on his shoulder was burning into his skin. It was such a small and simple gesture, yet he was crumbling from the inside. 
“Goodnight,” he mustered everything and managed to say, excusing the scarlet painted cheeks and ear tips. 
Once you removed your hand from his shoulder, he felt like he could finally breathe again. Was it normal to feel this way? To be completely knocked out of breath in a way? To be enamoured of you? 
With one last exchange of goodbyes, you disappeared behind your front door, leaving Heeseung there in the corridor to himself where he stood rooted to the ground, fingers grazing against the spot you had touched earlier, head tilted to one side and tongue wetting his lips in deep thought.
Then there was you, standing behind your door. Everything from the dinner up till now, you had to digest and process it. 
Because, that was all you needed to know to realise that you liked Heeseung, and you could only let time make you fall completely. 
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— THE 1ST DATE, MONTE CARLO, MONACO, 2023
“He’s taking you out on dates? Three dates?”
Kim Minjeong, your beloved best friend who stayed miles away from you, was screaming into your ear through the phone at nine in the morning. She was one of the closest friends you have that you kept in contact with, considering the amount of years you’ve spent together too. Now, you were in Monaco while she was in London, yet you were glad the distance didn’t stop you from being friends.
“The Lee Heeseung? That F1 champion?” she had been gasping nonstop throughout the phone call, and you didn’t blame her, it was a lot to take in. 
“Even you know him? Gosh, was I that oblivious? I truly think I was unprepared for the job,” you sighed, weighing the phone between your ear and shoulder as you attempted at picking an outfit for Heeseung’s first date.
“Way too oblivious. This was why I told you to come to the UK! Football is massive here, you’d be fit for a job anywhere,”
“Well, Jake practically begged me and I was unemployed so I took the chance,” you fling aside an overly fancy dress that was not fit for the casual, huffing quietly. Apparently, Heeseung had planned a dinner by the beach, taking you to watch the sunset before that too. Talk about being such a romantic guy, huh? “Besides, the pay was … convincing too,”
Minjeong barked out a humorous laugh that was mixed with disbelief, and you could almost picture her shaking her head, giving you that specific disapproving look. “Okay, whatever. Tell me more about this guy and the dates,”
“Heeseung? He’s nice, caring, funny, and just easy to be around,”
“Come on, there must be more than those plain descriptions,”
Of course there was. Heeseung was more than words could ever describe. He was a breath of fresh air on a summer's day, the type that was cooling and calm on a scorching hot day, soothing the burn on your skin. One look into his eyes was enough to fill you with contentment, everything about him was what you wished to have, but whether or not you could, you didn't know.
“There is…” your voice faltered into a whisper.
“Oh my God, you have a crush, don't you?” Minjeong practically screamed into your ear once again, making you recoil away from the phone for a second, wincing in pain. “You are just shy, I know it. You were always like this!”
You were in no place to correct her, she knew you through and through. “Fine, yes, I do fancy him—”
“You admitted it!”
“Well, yeah, after someone here egged me on,” you grumble quietly, listening to her giggles, knowing damn well she has a big wide grin plastered on her face. “I think I do like him,” you finally set down your chosen outfit, sitting on your bed in a slumped posture, mostly in defeat.
“You'll know over time, like, for sure. Based on my own experiences, when you're at that stage of thinking you like him, you tend to be in denial at first—” you rolled your eyes at that point, being heavily guilty, “then, you'd accept it, and fall harder and harder. Suddenly, you know you like him and boom, you're in deep!”
F.M.L. 
Everything she said had struck a point, and you being in the denial stage was already proving one of them. “You're—I—I don't think you're wrong,”
“I know I'm not. Just do what you feel is right, 'kay? He's into you too, don't overthink it! Man's planned four dates just for you to fall for him is already a clear sign,”
“You think?”
“Don't be stupid, Y/N. Anyone can tell how much Heeseung likes you.”
Anyone can tell how much Heeseungs likes you. That was the only thing running through your head for the rest of the time you got ready. It finally hit you that you had finally accomplished a little progress: admitting your feelings, but the problem was you’re literally seeing him in a few hours. How were you going to act normal around him? All of this was bringing back to your highschool years where you last felt the same as you were now, all giddy and preoccupied with thoughts of him. 
Leading up to the minute when your doorbell rang, signalling the presence of Lee Heeseung at your doorstep. Before opening the door, you did what you’ve never done, which was nervously tucking your hair behind your ears. What has gotten into you? The moment you pulled the door open, you were faced with him, the same man you were thinking about for God knows how long. He was in a simple outfit. White tee and light blue jeans, an outfit that totally complimented his tall and lean stature, plus his sun kissed skin that you ever so appreciate. He was absolutely gorgeous.
“I got you some flowers,” he revealed a small bouquet of tulips in different colours. “I figured the last one was probably wilting so I got you new ones,” 
You accepted it from him, cheeks matching the pink tulips amongst the bunch. He stuck to his words, though you didn’t believe it was true in the first place, mainly treating them light heartedly. “Thank you. You didn’t need to, you know?”
“I want to, don’t worry. It’s not hurting my wallet anyway,” he shrugged, not missing a chance to sweep his eyes along your body. “Besides, I like seeing you smile whenever you get them,”
That only got you flushing a deeper hue of pink. One thing about him was the fact that he knew his ways with words, and he was aware that he has an effect on you, so what more than to use both to its advantage. “Thank you then,” you turned to rush back inside to place the flowers away, but in actuality, you needed to hide your blushing face from Heeseung.
The drive to Larvotto beach was calming. Heeseung’s convertible car had its sunroof open the whole time, the evening air was cooling against your skin, and the sun was soon to set. You let yourself look over at Heeseung, watching his hair flow along the wind, a carefree expression on his face. He was always pretty, but seeing him under the dimming sun, it only made your heart tighter and eyes brighter. 
“Is it your first time here?” The beach was never the first place you’d thought to go to, especially when you’re not the biggest fan either. However, having Heeseung here made it an exception, or were you just biased? You weren’t complaining about having a personal tour guide either way.
“It is. I don’t think I’ve travelled much ever since I got here,” you kicked the sand with your feet, slightly thankful to have worn beach appropriate shoes. 
“There’s a lot of hidden gems here, I’ll bring you there during the break,”
You raised an eyebrow at him, tilting your head to one side. “Are you suggesting something? Hey, Lee Heeseung, why are you being so nice to me?”
“It’s because I like you,” no sugarcoating, neither did he flinch nor cower as he said it, face remaining impassive. You, however, were standing there with a thumping heart, mind practically yelling ‘did he just say that’ and ‘say something’ over again. Almost every possible word died on the tip of your tongue, leaving you stunned. 
What happened next only increased your confusion. Heeseung laughed. Right, you weren’t hallucinating whatsoever, he genuinely choked out a laugh, an awkward laugh, to be exact, and you were there questioning if his insanity was intact.
“Forget it, it’s nothing,” he waved it off, breathing deep and shaking his head. 
“It’s not ‘nothing’, Hee,” you frowned, crossing your arms and nudging him with your shoulder. 
“Okay, I drank a little before this,” he smiled, the same foolish smile that he sported around you, but soon it faltered. “You don’t need to say anything,” his voice softened. “Just … forgive me if I made you uncomfortable,”
“You’d never make me feel uncomfortable,” you were fidgeting with your fingers this time, unsure why you didn’t answer him back when you knew you liked him too. Were you scared? “Thank you,”
It was Heeseung’s turn to be confused. “For what?”
“For telling me, and … letting me know what I can do with my feelings next,” you needed time to sort everything out, and Heeseung understood that, but he also couldn’t resist being slightly curious about what you said. It was an unspoken fact that lingered in the air, from the first meeting until present, there had always been a spark between you two. You knew that, Heeseung knew that, but you were both just waiting for the right time to act on it. 
Heeseung’s soft smile reassured you a little more, and you knew there was nothing that’d make it awkward between you and him. You turned away from him, hiding the tinge of red gradually spreading on your cheeks. “It’s really pretty here,” the sun was already setting, painting the sky a darker shade of blue. The bright lights coming from the buildings nearby illuminated the area, bursting through the dark, just the same as the stars connecting the both of you burning brighter. 
You were looking around, unaware that Heeseung had his gaze on you instead, a faint smile pulled at his lips, a certain longing gleaming in his brown irises. “It really is.”
To your relief, the dinner wasn’t stiff or awkward, it flowed much more naturally than you expected. Heeseung’s sudden confession was truly out of the blue, but you blame yourself more for freezing like a deer in headlights. What could you do, feelings were odd, and you just weren’t fully ready right there and then. The scenery around got to take your mind off him though, basking in the bright lights and music, enjoying good food and company, you were thankful for it.
Just like the other night, you and him ended up in front of your front door by the end of the night. It was almost a reenactment of it too. He was staring at you and you stared back, both of you just standing there without wiping your stupid smiles away, as if playing a game about who would speak first. Spoiler, it’s you.
“Thanks for tonight … again,”
“My pleasure … again,” he mimicked your words, eliciting a scoff of disbelief from you, that grin on your face only widening, contrasting to your pointed glare. But soon it melted into a much more apologising stare, and you started biting your lips out of habit. 
“I’m sorry for the way I acted earlier by the way, I shouldn’t have kept quiet,”
Heeseung sighed, shoulders dropping a little, but he reassured you another time. “It’s fine, really. I get it, you were shocked, I shouldn’t have done it either,”
“No—well—yeah, but I don’t want you to get the wrong idea of me rejecting you or something, I’m not, okay? I just need some time,”
Heeseung seemed to look amused instead, lips curving up into a wider smile, twinkling eyes filled with a sense of adoration that you failed to notice. “I know,”
“You know?”
“I know. Y/N, you don’t need to explain anything to me, you don’t owe me an explanation whatsoever. It’s your feelings and what’s mine is mine,” he reached over to brush a strand of hair that fell onto your face. His action rendered you motionless, you found yourself holding your breath for a split second, gaze wandering around his features screaming ‘you’re insane!’ He was, in fact, insane, crazy even to pull this stunt on you, whereas you were too buzzed from the cocktails to form a proper reaction to it. 
“Oh,” you breathed out, realising you needed to get more alcohol in your system to fully take everything in. If only you had known earlier that having a crush would be this complicated, then maybe you wouldn’t have one in the first place. But it was impossible anyway, Lee Heeseung knew his way to your heart. Screw him. Unlike your mini rant in your head, your face lit up at the mention of his name, drawing his attention instantly. “Would you like to … join me for a drink?”
It was an invitation that meant more than what it seemed, one that told him you've opened your heart to him, letting him in. 
“A drink?” from the sound of his voice, he already sounded convinced, but mildly surprised at your sudden offer. 
“Yes, or maybe a few,” you smoothly unlocked your door, blinking at him with a teasing grin.
Heeseung let out a chuckle at the sight of you, so inviting and jumpy, absentmindedly filling his heart with more adoration, eventually having no choice but to cave in. Well, he has to push his trainer and nutritionist to the back of his mind and place you in the centre of it. “I can’t say no to that,”
“Be my guest.” you pushed the door open, dropping an arm around Heeseung’s shoulder as he passed, then closed the door to start a night of deep talks paired with red wine.
That night, you fell asleep at four in the morning, surprisingly with Heeseung by your side. One bottle led to another, and soon, you were both drunk, slumped on the couch in a stupor. Before Heeseung could realise or even form a single conscious thought, he had fallen asleep. Let’s just say the morning after could only be described with ‘hungover’, ‘dead tired’ but also, ‘filled with a new found love’. Maybe all it took was a drunken night with secrets told to get you one step closer to fully admit your liking.
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— THE 2ND DATE, BAKU, AZERBAIJAN 2023
You wished your break lasted forever. In a blink of an eye, you're suddenly in a new country with a lasting jet lag. It wasn't just you who thought that either, it was the entirety of the garage. 
Another day, another race. You had to remind yourself that the season's schedule hasn't even reached halfway yet and there's still more to come, which is why you shouldn't expect a quick freedom from work.
“What did you do over the short break?” Jake stared expectantly at you as you handed him his gloves, the garage was filled with loud buzzing noises of metal. 
“I went on a date,”
Jake's eyes almost bulged out of his head at your casual response. “You what?”
“I went on a date,” you repeated a little harshly this time, handing him his balaclava that he didn't bother to put on until he was satisfied with your responses.
“I need more details,”
“There's not much details,”
“Who was it?”
“I don't want to say,”
“Why not? Is he some socialite? Monaco's filled with rich upper class people,”
Your lips were pressed into a thin line, narrowing your gaze at him, visibly unamused. “Rich? Yes. Socialite? Not really,”
“Why are you making me guess?” He crossed his arms, clearly agitated at your reluctance.
“Why are you butting into my business when you're supposed to be putting this—” you pointed feverishly at the balaclava in his hand, “—on and getting your ass into the car,”
“Can't your sweet ol' cousin know?” He grumbled, finally pulling on the white balaclava over his head. 
“You'll know when the time is right,” you said with a finality in your tone, and Jake huffed in annoyance but not making another comment.
You wished him good luck and after you pressed an encouraging kiss against his cheek, he left to prepare for the race that was about to begin in less than an hour. 
Sitting amongst your coworkers, you were discussing with them about the possibility of winning, watching the race on a screen. The orange Mclaren cars were seen zooming past, climbing higher on the scoreboard.
However, your eyes were particularly set on a specific name. 'LEE' paired with a Ferrari logo, was sitting high on top of the leaderboard. Of course he was, you thought.
An hour had passed and with one last lap to go, Heeseung was fighting with Jay from Mercedes to snatch first place on the podium. You held your breath for a minute, eyes flickering between the timer and the cars that were inching close to one another. Then there it was, Heeseung's red Ferrari overtook Jay's silver Mercedes and crossed the finish line, a chequered flag waving in the air and you fell backwards onto your seat.
“Lee Heeseung yet again,” one of your colleagues, Keeho, breathed out in astonishment. 
“He's the ace for a reason,” Chaewon, your favourite PR manager and another one of your colleagues, added thoughtfully. 
The garage still had a reason to celebrate nonetheless. Jake came in third, securing another podium for him this season, meanwhile his teammate, Dokyeom secured fourth place, missing out narrowly for a spot on the podium. The team was in high spirits knowing there were points scored and their efforts were not in vain. 
While you were stuck in the garage celebrating with your colleagues, Jake and Heeseung were chilling in the cool down room, a place where drivers recover after a race, before heading out to the podium. Jake was eyeing Heeseung, a little thought in mind.
“So … what were you up to over the break? Didn't hear someone calling out for a small party or something,” Jake whispered quietly enough so that only both him and Heeseung could hear it.
Heeseung shrugged, unaware of Jake's intentions. “I trained, ate, went shopping and had a date—”
“A date you say …” his mind began to work, suspicions increasing further. “Funny, interesting …”
Heeseung pulled a face at Jake's odd behaviour, leaning his body away from the younger. “You're being weird,”
“Well, I'm just thinking,” he waved his friend off, smiling devilishly. “Plus, since when does Lee Heeseung go on dates?”
“Ever since a few weeks ago,” Heeseung grumbled, taking bigger gulps from his bottle.
“I see,” Jake smirked, enjoying teasing the hell out of Heeseung. “Treat her well, Lee,” he meant that even though he made it sound lighthearted. It wasn't hard to piece two and two together, he just didn't want to poke his nose into your business. 
“I will, like my heart depends on it.”
The rest of the day eventually consisted of team celebrations and lots of picture taking with the media team. You accompanied Jake until the end and you felt like you could breathe once again when your back touched the bed of your hotel room.
It was barely evening time and you were already begging for sleep, even when Chaewon came in to invite you for dinner at some restaurant nearby, you had to decline and promised there'll be a next time. The silence in the room was what accompanied you while you texted Jake, rolling your eyes at some stupid comments he made, until you paused at the sight of a new notification.
championhee: up for an impromptu date?
you: i'm too tired to go out :(
championhee: who said we're going out? send me your room number and the floor you're in, i'll be there soon
That got you sitting up real fast. 
Heeseung was coming to your room and you're dressed unprepared, looking equally unready. You threw on a decent looking outfit, one that didn’t seem that you tried too hard, but at least your effort could be recognised. It was a fact you never worked well with sudden plans, this was an example of it.
You couldn’t even concentrate on the screen of your phone, attention constantly diverting to the door, knowing Heeseung would turn up at any minute. At this point, tiredness completely disappeared from your body, leaving you awake and alert enough for a date. 
Speaking of the devil.
The thoughts of him manifested into reality when you heard the knocks on your door, a quiet hum coming from the other side. It didn’t take a beat to know it was Heeseung. Your familiarity of him by now was astounding, almost as if you had his memorised and imprinted into your senses without your knowledge. You broke into a smile at the realisation of his presence, bounding towards the door to whip it open, meeting his smiling eyes.
“Hey, pretty,”
There it was again, that pet name he reserved specially for you, just you and no one else. It didn’t help that his messy, newly washed hair was falling perfectly onto his forehead, skin clad in a loose white t-shirt, a killer combo for you. 
“Are you not going to let me in or …?” 
You’ve stared too long, haven't you? Snapping out of your shameless ogle session, you opened the door wider, stepping away. “Come in, please,” 
“I brought some takeaway,” he held up two bags of food, flashing you a toothy grin that made his cheeks puff cutely. 
“Sweet,” you helped him with the bags, setting them on a low table, gesturing for him to make himself comfortable, and so he did. 
Heeseung sat himself down on the carpeted floor, manoeuvring the table closer to him before staring at your every movement across the room. Stars were lingering in his irises, he was looking at you like you were the brightest one in the sky. You turned around just in time to catch his gaze, a feeling of fireworks bursting in your heart. He didn’t need any words to convey his emotions, all it took was a single look at you.
“Let’s eat,” he patted on the spot next to him.
You nodded, casting him a friendly smile and sat down at that exact spot. You accidentally brushed against his shoulder from time to time, even as you reached for the food, you would make contact with him, the touches alone were enough to send an electric shock between you two. Nervous glances and small talks were exchanged, you could feel the tension in the air and you didn’t know if it was the beer Heeseung brought or you were just going insane.
“Lee Heeseung,” his name contrasted to the bitter aftertaste of beer on your tongue. By then, a few cans of beer were consumed, your eyes were starting to droop and to you, Heeseung was the universe at that moment. “Your attempts to make me fall in love are failing…”
“Hm?” The much sober man sitting next to you was leaning over to catch a better glimpse of you, curiosity and dread welling up in his throat at the sound of your words.
“Because…I think I’ve already been in love with you since the beginning,” 
Heeseung almost saw his life flash in front of his eyes. You were there in front of him, in all your glory, saying something that you probably wouldn’t remember in the morning whereas it would just stay with Heeseung until the day he dies. You couldn’t even sit straight, cheeks tainted pink and breath smelling like cheap beer, but you said those words with so much clarity that even Heeseung forgot you were drunk for a second.
“W–what?”
“Lee Heeseung,” you repeated his name again, and Heeseung swore he was much nervous now compared to fighting for his championship. “You’re right. Emotions and feelings are weird, I don’t know why but every time I see you … I just feel …” you pointed at your heart, “my heart feels full,”
“Are you drunk?”
“Yeah,”
“Did you mean what you say?”
“Yeah,”
Heeseung heaved a small sigh, lips forming a small smile. He got a hold of your arm, gently lifting you to your feet. “Let’s get you to bed, it’s late,”
“It’s only ten! Plus, they’re out clubbing, you can stay longer,” you pleaded, pulling on his sleeves despite barely having any energy left yourself. “I want you to stay,”
“I didn’t know you were this clingy when you’re drunk,” he mumbled under his breath, eyes following your movement as you climbed into bed, tucking yourself under the covers. “I’ll stay,”
“Really?”
“Really.”
Heeseung was always a man of his words. He sat next to your sleeping figure, having not much to do and thus was left to think about what you said earlier on. This was a first for him in a long time, to experience a complicated amount of feelings he’s never had until he met you and letting himself be vulnerable around you. What were you doing to him? Even when he left your room to walk back to his, all he could think of was your face and the look you had when you were with him.
It was the first time he has seen you so open to him. Maybe you were the same back when you drank together, but to be fair, Heeseung was equally drunk to even remember the full details. This time around, he got to see you and the secret messages hidden behind your gaze. That night, just like the first night he met you, he was in bed stuck awake just thinking about you. 
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— THE 3RD DATE, MIAMI, USA, 2023
You were sure you embarrassed yourself in front of Heeseung that night in the hotel room. Waking up to a headache with minimal recollection the next morning had you realising drinking was truly your biggest enemy. However, you were surprised to see water and aspirin already prepared on your bedside table, and no, it wasn’t Chaewon that placed it considering she was knocked out flat. It was Heeseung. 
Groaning further into your pillow, you saw his messages asking if you were fine, to which you replied yes, but hesitating whether you should bring up the conversation you had. Look, you barely remembered it, but you knew you said something along the lines of being in love with him. That alone had you kicking your pillows in frustration.
Now here you were, in the middle of Miami, preparing for another week of work. The jet lag wasn’t even giving you a headache, it was Heeseung and the thought of him that caused it. 
He seemed fine, completely normal both over text and in person, but you just had a feeling that night had shifted something in the air someway or another. Worst part of all, you were both ignoring it, or you assumed Heeseung had brushed it under the rug. 
You pushed the thought to the back of your mind for the time being, going forward with the work you had on hand and busying yourself just to forget about him. But how could you do that when he loved announcing his presence at random times? 
It wasn’t even the weekend yet, precisely the evening before media day when Heeseung sent you a message. ‘Date?’ was self explanatory, but once he turned up on the doorstep of your hotel room, you feared your heart wasn’t going to last at the sight of him. 
“Hi,” you greeted rather awkwardly, trying to keep the door open while slipping on your shoes. Heeseung managed a smile, helping you hold onto the door and waited for you until you finally rushed out, joining his side. 
“Hey, you good?” Heeseung turned to look at you, sincere concern laced in his voice. It was probably your stiff smile or unnaturalness that he noticed, not knowing that you were troubled by the things you said to him.
“I’m good, very good,” you assured, though partially lying, casting a side glance at him. “I didn’t think you’d bring me out on a date right before the race weekend,”
“It’s our last date out of the three I promised, and I want it to be on a day where we’re both not tired and fighting for our lives,” he leaned his head down slightly to catch your eyes, flashing you a playful smirk. “Plus, the date I planned requires a little more … energy,”
“Energy?”
Energy and strength were truly what you needed. Heeseung had planned a skating date all along, a disco skating one, not to mention. It seemed that he had done his research too, the place wasn’t far from the hotel and you were able to make it there by foot. In no time, the two of you entered the indoor skating rink, the dim coloured lights and loud music welcomed you.
You waited on a bench until Heeseung came back with two pairs of skates, making big steps towards you with an excited bounce in his steps. Watching him and that stupid grin he has on his face totally had your heart flipping, mind yelling at you and eyes shining brightly. If it wasn’t obvious to him, you were sure others would’ve already noticed either way. 
“Have you done this before?” you took the skates from him and he plopped down next to you, turning his head at the mention of your question. 
“Skate? I have. Sunghoon is really good at this, on ice too. He brought me and some of the guys skating before,” his hands moved fast, pulling the skates on and lacing them within a minute, then noticing you haven’t even got yours on yet. “Here,” he gently took the skates from your hold, getting up and kneeling down to put them on for you.
“Y–you don’t need to—”
“It’s fine, Y/N. Let me,” he was staring up at you, and at that moment, in the dim lights, shadows on his face drawing out his beaming eyes, you felt something new. Heeseung glanced up once more, hands tying your laces skillfully. “Are you okay? You look a little … red,”
You didn’t even realise how hot you were feeling despite being in an air conditioned room. Were you okay? No, thanks to the man before you that always successfully has you become a flustered mess. “Y–yeah, fine, completely fine,”
By the time he was done, you swore you had trouble breathing every time he looked up at you. Something so casual turned into something more than just that. You had to remind yourself not to give in easily, but seeing him offer his hand and feeling the touch of his skin made your knees weak. “Shall we?”
“Truth be told, I’m a little scared,”
“First time?”
“Not really,” you frowned, your other hand coming to grip onto Heeseung’s forearm once you entered the rink. “Just … balancing skills,” 
“Hold onto my hand, I got you,” he squeezed your hand in reassurance, skating side by side and never loosening his hold once. “Listen to the music, it helps,” 
He wasn’t entirely wrong. With the help of ABBA and some Fleetwood Mac, you found yourself enjoying this more than you expected. It was much better when you finally gained the momentum and were able to balance better. Okay, there were a few slips and trips, but it only gave you and Heeseung a laugh, and seeing the way his lips curve into a smile, eyes forming a crescent shape, your face unknowingly smiled along.
“Are you ready?” 
You whipped your head to look at him, absolutely puzzled. “What?”
Heeseung let go of your hand, but before you could panic or slip, he slowed down until he was directly behind you, hands holding onto your waist. The foreign feeling of his touch on your waist had knocked the air out of your lungs, your body instantly turning still under his fingers. 
“Hey! This wasn’t part of the plan,” you tried turning your head over your shoulder to catch a glimpse of him, but you only heard his laugh.
“I wanted to get closer to you,” at that, you could practically feel his front almost pressing against your back, and you wondered where he got the sudden confidence from. “Can I get closer to you?” his breath was basically fanning against the shell of your ear, and as each second passed, you found your will crumbling.
“Yeah, whatever you want,” you coughed, trying to seem nonchalant, but knowing you were gradually failing at that. You were glad your back was facing Heeseung so that he didn’t have any chance to see your reaction. You were left in a blushing mess, unaware of how Heeseung was stifling his laugh behind you. 
Once your legs got tired from constantly skating around the rink and you were starting to be sick of the repeated songs, you and Heeseung decided it was time to leave. On the way back to your hotel, you were walking hand in hand, barely much space in between you and him. You glanced at him briefly, pursing your lips in thought. 
“Thanks for taking me out tonight. I didn’t know you were skilled at skating just as much as driving a racecar,”
“It’s my side gig,” he joked, smiling when you started laughing quietly. “I hope you enjoyed it. I wanted the third date to be something special, but most importantly, for you to have fun,”
“I had fun, just not the times I almost fell and broke my ankle,” you exaggerated, but half of it was semi-true.
“I would be there to catch you if you fall,”
“Oh, my knight in shining armour,” you fanned yourself, leaning your shoulder against his. You felt his shoulder shaking slightly from chuckling, seemingly bemused by you. “Can I tell you something?”
“Go ahead,”
“I don’t want this to be our last date,”
Heeseung gave your hand a squeeze, maybe out of reflex or instinct, you didn’t know, but it was definitely unconsciously done. He slowly turned to meet your eyes, you didn’t expect the constellations of hope, confusion and love weaved in his irises, shining brightly as if they were trying to tell you a message in an unspoken language that only he understood. 
“Then it won’t be our last,” Heeseung almost sounded relieved, glad that it wasn’t just him that felt this way. “Who said I’ll stop talking to you after this? You’re unfortunately stuck with me whether you like it or not,”
“Sounds like a curse,”
“You’re not complaining either,”
“I’m not,” you bumped his shoulder with yours, flashing him a teasing grin that he reciprocated. “Are you walking me all the way to the door?”
Heeseung shot you a look of deadpan, as if asking ‘are you hearing yourself?’ “I’m not one to dump you down in the lobby and leave, am I?”
“Touche,”
All the way up to your room, you couldn’t help yourself from casting frequent glances at him. He was real, so real and breathing next to you. Yet, why did he seem so hard to have whenever your heart screamed for him? He was Lee Heeseung, a three times world champion that everyone loves and probably countless girls chase, you were just … you. Somehow, you were the one he chose.
“Will you let me take you out on a date some other time again?” Heeseung’s hand finally left yours, now standing in front of you and facing your hotel door, the number ‘111’ reminded him of his car’s number, number one. 
“Well … I’ll have to see, maybe,” you placed a hand on your chin, playfully irking him on, liking the way his tongue poked against the insides of his cheek. “I’m kidding, of course you can, I love spending my time with you,”
“You do?”
“If I don’t I wouldn’t have gone on these dates with you, Hee, obviously I love being with you,” the words wouldn’t stop pouring out, whether or not you were aware of it, Heeseung felt heat travelling up to the tips of his ears. “Let’s just say the objective of this whole date plan was achieved,”
It didn’t hit Heeseung until a second later. Did that mean the things you said that night were true? Not that he didn’t believe them either, he just thought he had heard you wrongly, or more rather he tried convincing himself that. Before Heeseung could utter a response, you spoke first, fully aware of what you said and your intended meaning behind it.
“Thanks again, for tonight and everything, Hee. I do have the best time whenever I’m with you,” you breathed deeply, fighting the urge to just turn around and run away instead of being in this tension filled environment. “I should get going now, and you too. Text me when you’re back, okay? Goodnight,”
“Goodnight, Y/N. Don’t sleep too late.”
You nodded, turning around to unlock the door with your keycard, but the moment you heard a click sound, you didn’t immediately make a dash inside unlike the initial thought you had in mind. Instead, you faced Heeseung once more, noticing the confused smile he had on his face. Hell, you couldn’t believe you’re doing this.
Almost like a flash, you practically jumped towards him, pressing a kiss on his cheek that somehow landed much closer to his mouth. Your aim was ass, but it seemed neither of you mind. Heeseung definitely was the one who looked the most amused. His gaze was sweeping your figure, tongue poking out to sweep across his bottom lip.
“Bye!”
“Y/N—” 
That was when Heeseung snapped out of his momentary daze, but he was too late, you had already made your escape by slamming the door behind you. Standing there, heart beating quick, adrenaline coursing through your veins, you broke into a foolish smile, giggling all to yourself. 
“Have you gone insane?”
Chaewon peeped her head out from the bathroom, toothbrush hanging in his mouth, a humoured, yet concerned expression staring back at you. She most likely heard your hushed self talk and giggles, then presumed you’ve probably hit your head somewhere or got drunk. 
You grinned at her.
“Insane? Yeah.”
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— MONTE CARLO, MONACO, 2023
Being back in Monaco for the grand prix was both a blessing and a curse. For the pros, you get to stay in your lovely home instead of hotel rooms, as for the cons, work was all you could think of. At least you’d get a comfortable bed to sleep in after a long day at the circuit.
Over the course of two weeks after that night in Miami, you realised you haven’t seen Heeseung much in person. He was busy in Italy even though the race was cancelled, must’ve been a Ferrari driver thing that he claimed over text. You were equally piled with work and personal matters too. Who knew the role of being Jake’s trainer slash assistant was stressful enough to wish you were strangling your own cousin. 
Thankfully, there was something better to look forward to compared to the current downside in your life. Minjeong, the person you’ve been waiting all month for, was finally in Monte Carlo, specifically in your house, catching up with the copious amount of drama about every aspect of your life. 
“Okay, enough about the annoying team principal,” Minjeong held her hand up, catching you off guard and dumbfounded. “I need to cut to the important part, your love life. Heeseung! You’ve barely been telling me about him,”
“I—well—there’s some good and bad things about my encounters with him,” you winced, recalling your drunken moment and that time on the beach. “The dates are all good, but I think the problem is me,”
“How so? Spill,”
“He told me he liked me,”
“What did you say?”
“I panicked,”
Minjeong was rendered speechless, silence overtaking your embarrassed smile while your best friend stared at you, unamused. “And why would you do that?”
“God, I don’t know,” you threw your hands up in defeat, body falling back into the couch. “The thing is, I don’t think I was ready. I was still figuring shit out, and it just … happened? I feel like a dickhead,”
“It’s normal, your feelings weren’t clear. He didn’t even react badly, that’s a plus point,” you listened to Minjeong, nodding along in agreement. “So, have you set your feelings straight now?”
“I have, I really do like him, I think I’m going insane at this point,” you ran a hand through your hair, chewing on your bottom lip. “I even told him I’m in love with him when I was drunk. Can you imagine that?”
“No, I can’t! You professing your love to a man? That’s a first from you,” she shook her head, a knowing smile growing on her lips. “I don’t see you acting this way with your ex either,”
“It’s different…” you mumbled under your breath, feeling heat travelling up to your cheeks. Here she was again, proving and pointing out something you didn’t even realise until then.
“It sure is,” she threw a pillow at you, cackling almost maniacally at your cowering figure. You were doing a poor job at hiding your shyness and blushing face.
The timing couldn’t have been any better when you heard a buzz coming from your phone, checking it just in time to see Heeseung’s contact name coming into view. Of course, Minjeong was already making noises when she saw your eyes widening, further proving her guess. You skimmed over his messages, and it seemed he had invited you to Jay’s yacht party. 
A party before race weekend? Risky, but who were you to say? Maybe you’d have to keep Jake in check first, remembering you’re still his trainer no matter what. Until then, you looked over at Minjeong, her raised eyebrow meeting your expectful gaze. 
“We have a party tonight.”
Let’s just say it was your first time being at a yacht party. Yachts weren’t an uncommon thing to have in Monaco as long as you had the money for it. Now that it was the grand prix weekend, only more turned up at the docks, and to think some of them were owned by the drivers themselves too was surprising. 
“Do you know anyone here?” Minjeong was sticking close to your side the moment you entered, being equally foreign considering a yacht wasn’t your typical go to party venue. You guessed you had to get used to it after knowing there would be a post race yacht party coming on Sunday. 
“Other than Jake, Heeseung and some drivers, no,” you offered an apologetic smile that wasn’t assuring in any way either. “But I bet there’s going to be good food and drinks here,” that was quick to buy Minjeong’s excitement.
championhee: you here yet?
you: am hereee, wru?
championhee: i see you, give me a sec
You glanced up from your phone, looking around but only seeing masses of people you weren’t familiar with, and the neon lights weren’t making it better for you, it was harder to match people to their faces. One turn to the left and you were just in time to catch Heeseung’s eyes, finally a face you recognised that seemed to melt your heart every single time. 
“Hey, pretty,” he ever so smoothly leaned down to swoop an arm around your waist, pulling you in a hug. If you had to be honest, it surely did surprise you, but you weren’t complaining. After that time you landed a peck on his cheek, you found yourself being much more touchy with him without your knowledge, and he surprisingly went along with it. 
“Hi, Hee. How’s the party?” he soon pulled away, the feeling of his embrace disappearing and the sweet scent of his cologne drifted further from you.
“Shouldn’t I be the one asking you that? After all I invited you here,”
“You’re here longer than me, I wanted an insight,”
“An insight?” Heeseung hummed, pursing his lips thoughtfully. “Well, Jay is almost drunk even though it’s his party and his yacht. Jake is off somewhere, I told him you’re coming and I wished you saw the look on his face, he knew he was in trouble—”
“I’ll hunt him down tomorrow, don’t worry,”
Heeseung let out a snort, shaking his head at the thought of Jake getting a beating from his trainer. “The rest of them are just partying and dancing,”
“What about some of these other people?” you nodded at some girls at the side, then eyed a few guys shamelessly flirting with other girls. 
“I’m not involved in Jay’s invite process, but I think some of them are models, friends or just—I don’t know—known? I don’t think I know these people either,” he laughed a little at the end, following your gaze but it only landed back to your face in the end. “I know you kinda hate partying on some random day before the race weekend, so if you want to, you can always tell me, and we can just dip to somewhere else,”
“I mean … I really want to take up that offer but—”
A cough interjected you. Talk about divine timing. Minjeong was back from her small trip around the yacht, a glass of cocktail held in her hand. Her piercing gaze was all it took for you to know what she was trying to say, so you pulled her close to your side. “Heeseung, this is my best friend, Minjeong,”
“Hi, I’m Lee Heeseung,” he offered a courteous bow of his head, smiling politely at Minjeong. She was scanning him eye to toe, trying her best to keep a stoic expression. 
“Nice to meet you,” she raised her glass slightly, shooting you a knowing grin paired with her glinting eyes. Oh, that totally meant Heeseung had passed Minjeong’s ‘test’. “So … you and Y/N, huh?”
“Okay, that’s enough,” you let out a stiff laugh, narrowing your eyes at her as she continued to smile at you, fully aware of what she’s doing. 
She leaned close to your ear, whispering quietly so that only you and her were able to hear. “I’m going to leave you to him and go around looking for my man for the night,”
“How are you getting back?” you whispered in a hushed tone, giving her a pointed look.
“I’ll have my ways. I’ll text you and you better text me too. For now, you have your fun,” there was a finality in her tone, and before you could argue on, she stood straight, staring ahead at Heeseung. “She’s yours for the night …” Minjeong gave your shoulder a light pat, leaving your side and brushing past Heeseung. “... loverboy,” she added teasingly, then disappeared into the sea of people. 
“Ignore her,” you waved your hands awkwardly, but it seemed Heeseung wasn’t fazed at all, totally bemused on the contrary of what you expected.
“I think she’s cool,” he gave a thumbs up, prompting you to roll your eyes at him. “Come on, let me introduce you to some of the guys, then we’ll grab some drinks,”
“Sounds good,”
It was your first time being properly introduced to part of the drivers. You’ve seen most of them in passing and knew who they were, but not till the point of knowing them on a personal level, that was new to you. There was Jeno who drove for Ferrari alongside Heeseung that you got to meet, and also that really hot tattooed driver, Jungkook, from Mercedes. If Heeseung hadn’t pulled you away sooner, you would’ve probably swooned over Jungkook more, just like every other girl in the vicinity did. 
Heeseung proceeded to drag you to some other place. It was then you saw some familiar faces that you were already introduced to since the beginning. Jay, the host himself, was genuinely pissed drunk by the time you went up to greet him, but at least he was sober enough to form sentences so you guessed that’s something. Then there was Sunghoon, the driver of Red Bull Racing that was accompanied by your cousin, Jake, looking a little cold at first glance, but his features instantly melted into a big grin at the sight of you and his friend.
Some small talks with them didn’t hurt, but it was the blaring music that did, mostly for your eardrums. The crowded area was unfortunately a no-go either, so you and Heeseung decided to seek refuge somewhere else, ignoring the interested whispers from his three friends that watched the two of you sneak away.
“Here you go, your shirley temple,” you were on one of those couches that were placed on the deck, most of them being empty since everyone was situated at some other place in the yacht, giving you and Heeseung a chance of alone time together. You were sipping on the mocktail Heeseung passed you, feeling his presence next to you.
“It’s been such a week,” Heeseung sighed, stretching his limbs. “Visited the factory back in Italy, then finished some business there and having to fly back to Monaco, I think this is one of my first relaxation times,”
“This party? You should be home sleeping instead, Hee, that’s proper relaxation,” you could see the dark circles under his eyes now that he’s mentioned it.
“Just wanted to find an excuse to spend time with you,” he leaned his head back slightly, wearing a wry smile on his tired face.
“You don’t need an excuse for that, you can always just tell me whenever,”
Heeseung nodded slowly, taking a sip out of his own glass, an obvious wave of relief passed through him. Your eyes, however, were stuck on him. No, there wasn’t alcohol that influenced you to do so, your mocktail was surely nonalcoholic, it was the fact that you realised how in love with Heeseung you were. 
Uh oh, you like him.
Wait.
Oh, you're in love with him. 
Under the changing hues of purple, blue LED lights, you found yourself coming to terms that you were truly whipped and flashing heart eyes at him. You watched his every movement, the way he blinked or even sip at his drink, you scrutinised them all, because to you, he was a nova that shined the brightest amongst the rest. 
“You okay?” Heeseung noticed the change in your behaviour, the tiredness in his face morphed into concern as he leaned in close to check on you, not realising how near his face was. 
“Huh?” That was the only thing you could manage out, gaze flickering between his eyes and lips, gradually shrinking under the intensity of his stare and the closeness of his face. He knew, you did too, but why were both of you holding back? What were you so scared of?
Magically and suddenly, the thoughts in your mind somehow manifested into reality when he started closing in. You felt your breath catch in your throat, conveying a sign of green light through a reassuring nod, trying to ignore your heart beating abnormally fast.  
Then there it was, Heeseung’s lips on yours and a burst of butterflies swarmed your abdomen. Was it real? Was this actually happening? The lingering taste of his whiskey left a bitter tang on your tongue when you kissed back, wanting more but before you could let it progress deeper, it had already ended.
Heeseung pulled away, eyes wide and mouth slightly ajar. You thought he was going to kiss you again, and you tried smiling, thinking about the feeling of his lips on yours. But it seemed your sweet daydream was immediately crushed to the ground when Heeseung gradually got up from the couch, the look on his face was telling you things weren’t going great.
“Hee?”
An apologetic look flashed across Heeseung’s expression. “Fuck—I’m sorry,” 
“Wait—!”
You couldn’t grasp onto him and he slipped right through your fingers. There you were, confused and feeling the opposite of what a kiss should give. Did something go wrong, you wondered, or were you just too late? Too late to realise your love for him when he had already told you earlier on about how he felt about you. What did he even mean by apologising to you?
You tried searching for him around the place, but he was nowhere to be seen, only managing to find a surprisingly sober Minjeong that sensed your panic and despair. There was nothing you could do but slump in defeat, pulling Minjeong out of the yacht and back home.
First kiss with the guy you liked went wrong. Sounded like some clickbait YouTube title, didn't it? Well, it was actually reality, your reality.
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To your absolute dismay, the race weekend was horrendous, at least for you.
Ever since that night in the yacht, you came to the realisation that Heeseung was avoiding you. Right, avoiding you like a plague whenever you caught sight of him or vice versa. 
How did you know? Well, there were multiple occasions to explain it but the most memorable was the time when you bumped into him one morning at your front door. It was actually the morning after the party, freshly awake and still confused from the night before, you wanted to question him once you saw him by his door, but from the way his door slammed faster than the speed for you to form a sentence, you could tell he did not want that confrontation.
Minjeong said maybe the kiss had shocked him, but he was also the one that initiated it. All of the guesses just seemed to meet dead ends. The day you dropped Minjeong off at the airport was when you knew you were left on your own to deal with Heeseung and your heart. No matter how you try to text him or get him to not run away at the sight of you, in the end it kept failing.
The sadness eventually turned into frustration, which explained your unannounced presence at the Ferrari hospitality right before the race. Were you insane? Totally. 
You knew where he was, and it wasn't hard to spot when they literally had a room dedicated to their world champion, making it easier for you to locate and bust the doors down. If you had to be honest, you wished you did.
“Are you avoiding me?”
You took no time to fool around and got down to business the moment you closed the door shut behind you. There was no one other than him in the room, thankfully, or else you'd be dying out of embarrassment first.
Heeseung dropped his phone in shock, not expecting you to turn up there and then. “W–what?”
Was he serious? “Are you avoiding me?” You repeated, standing with a hand on your waist, staring accusingly at him.
“No …”
“You're lying,” Of course he was. You could tell by the way he was chewing on the insides of his cheek when he said it, and it definitely wasn't helping his case. “So … we're not going to talk about that night? The night where you ran away after we kissed?”
“It's not that—”
“Then what is it, Hee? Why are you making me feel this way? Are you mad at me?”
“No, I'm not,” he denied at once, eyebrows furrowing in distress. “I could never get mad at you …” he mumbled quietly, and it only made you sigh in further agitation.
“Why can't you just tell me?” 
“Look, Y/N, now's not really the best time, the race's about to start soon and I have to be down at the tracks in ten minutes, we don't have the time to talk it over,” as much as you hate to admit it, Heeseung was right, there was barely enough time to talk. “How about we have a proper talk after the race?”
“You won't run away from me again, will you?”
“I won't,”
You couldn't exactly say he lied but he didn't stick to his words either. 
Winning the grand prix naturally got him swarmed by an obscene amount of people after the race, giving you zero chance to congratulate him or even slip in a word. Leading up to the celebration on the podium and the time after that, you still didn't get to have that 'talk' with him, nor did you see him. 
He wasn't home by the time you returned to your apartment either. It only made your heart heavier as each hour passed, your expectations seemingly getting crushed. You had to begrudgingly put on a presentable outfit for the yacht party, nearly forgetting about this matter until Chaewon brought it up and promised herself that she'd get shitfaced. Good for her.
Arms looped and hips bumping into each other, you and Chaewon made your way through the crowded yacht. The pool on the deck was the least surprising element of the yacht when there was literally a celebrity DJ controlling the music. You've taught yourself to be less surprised now that you're working here.
“To be honest, this is kinda overwhelming,” Chaewon whispered, glancing around. 
“Parties are overwhelming in general,”
“Well, this one's on a yacht. A yacht, and there's a pool too,”
“You have a point,”
“I need a shot—several shots—and find Anton too, he's like, a baby,” Chaewon just really wouldn't let that intern engineer go, would she?
“Go, go, that kid is probably lost somewhere too,” you laughed, thinking about the new intern that happened to give everyone a lasting impression.
“What about you?”
“I'll be fine, I'll just grab some drinks and go. I'm tired,” you weren't lying, a day's work was enough to take you out, you were shocked to see Chaewon still having a crazy amount of energy left in her after that.
Tired was an understatement though. You felt your energy draining away when Chaewon left, and you were alone to wander around in a yacht with countless strangers. 
There were a few familiar faces you recognised, both drivers and colleagues, but none were Heeseung. That was disappointing.
However, almost on cue once you weaved past a group of people, you thought your eyes were playing tricks on you when you spotted him. Jet black hair, a black silk button up hung loosely on his frame, except he was sitting amongst a bunch of … models? Laughing? 
Your expectations only dropped lower to the pits of hell. 
Oh, you felt sick. A horrible feeling of jealousy and anger bubbled in your abdomen. If you could, you would've stormed up to him and grabbed him by his collar demanding an explanation, but instead, you were stuck to your position, unmoving.
How could he just sit there and laugh? All while you were promised a talk that never even happened. Why? Because he didn't bother to find you. Right.
Before you knew it, you were already walking away, the crack in your heart becoming bigger, tiredness overcoming you. Maybe this life wasn't meant for you after all. What if you and him weren't even meant to be in the first place? He was a worldwide famous driver, and you were just his friend's cousin that worked as his trainer, that alone sounded too different, too much of a contrast.
It didn't help that your mind was overthinking at that point onwards. All you needed now was your bed and a romcom to cry to. You guess that was your night routine sorted out.
Who knew liking someone everyone wants was this hard?
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— BARCELONA, SPAIN, 2023
Lee Heeseung wished he was a little smarter.
He may be an ace, flourishing in racing and everything that life throws at him, he was good at anything and everything. Feelings, however, were another matter for a world champion like him.
That night, that kiss, had altered his brain in a way that he couldn't explain. Heeseung was always aware that he's into you. Hell, he was the one initiating the dates and flirty cues, who was he kidding? But that kiss got him overthinking.
Heeseung knew you were most likely interested too, considering you've never once rejected his advances. Yet, the problem wasn't there, it was whether or not you liked him, like actually like him. That kiss, did it matter to you just as much as it did to him, he thought.
That night on the beach where he confessed didn't help his case of overthinking either. Concerns after concerns piling onto one another. Heeseung knew you didn't reject him, but he couldn't tell if you reciprocated the feelings for him. Then, there was also that time when you got drunk and practically confessed your love to him, no what was that? Without any explanation either? See, Heeseung was trying to justify the mess going on in his mind.
So, being the person that he was, he chose to run before he had the chance to be dumped. Yes, Lee Heeseung was a coward in disguise.
It was an easy way out, or so it seemed at first, until Heeseung started to feel guilty, regretful and heartbroken over the fact that he was doing this. Truly the consequences of his own actions. But, he couldn't bear to face you either. 
Seeing you filled him with emotions and thoughts that were simply unbearable. When you burst through the door to confront him, he was truly rendered speechless at the sight of you. It was as if his ability to speak and think was taken away from him momentarily, and that only made him a fool while he tried to explain. 
He wanted to get close to you, he yearned to do so, to tell you how he felt and the entire truth, but he was holding himself back just because he figured he wasn’t ready for all that yet. It was indeed eating Heeseung from the inside out. That explained the reason why Barcelona was doing the opposite of cheering up, everything there was much duller and depressing from his point of view.
“Are you okay?” Jeno's voice broke Heeseung out of his trance. He wasn't even aware he was zoning out. 
“Yeah, why?” Heeseung got up from his spot to join Jeno, figuring it's time to prepare for the race.
“Dude, you've been so out of it this whole weekend—no—whole week, actually. Practice rounds, qualifiers, you're not driving like you normally are, and you just don't seem like yourself,” Jeno patted Heeseung's back, and Heeseung himself had a whole new revelation thanks to Jeno's eye opening observations. Maybe it was also your lack of presence that bugged him. Heeseung hasn't seen you around the paddock the whole week, and neither did he bother asking Jake since their schedules were too full with interviews and what not.
“I'll try to tune myself back, don't worry,” Heeseung gave Jeno a reassuring squeeze on the shoulder, offering a slight smile. “Thanks for checking up on me. I need to find someone real quick before I get to the track, you go without me first,”
That ‘someone’ Heeseung had in mind was none other than you.
Heeseung probably looked like an unhinged racer walking around trying to search for you. He stopped by the Mclaren hospitality, then the Mclaren garage, but none of them had you there. 
He could only sigh, having to be forced to end his search since the race was starting soon. Was it bad to admit that he couldn't really think straight at that moment? All he had on his mind was you and you and only you. 
Lee Heeseung was never once nervous for a race. But this time, he was. 
The start wasn't the best for him, and he was having an overall weak start. The usual red Ferrari car that was meant to be leading the race suddenly fell behind there in Barcelona. He had a feeling the commentators were about to point it out. 
Heeseung has experienced bad races before. Ones that didn't go his way, technical failures, DNFs, but this one was just a plain disaster. There was nothing wrong with his car, it was him. He couldn't wait to get out of the car now that he knew he wasn't getting on that podium.
What almost felt forever and countless rounds of driving, Heeseung ended up in seventh place. Not the worst, but obviously not his best. He didn't even want to engage in interviews after the race, going straight to his hospitality and changing back into his usual clothes. 
“That wasn't like you,” Jake, being the caring friend that he was, had paid Heeseung a visit right before he left. Just like the drivers had done, the first thing he brought up was Heeseung's performance.
“I know,” Heeseung hummed, shrugging it off. “Just caught up with some … stuff,”
Jake didn't say much either, nodding in understanding. “I'll be here if you need anything, just so you know,”
“I know,” Heeseung said again, this time with a smile, then his mind redirected to a question he has been itching to ask Jake all week. “Uh—don't mind if I ask, where's Y/N?”
“Oh, Y/N? She didn't tell you?”
“Tell me what?”
“She took a whole week of sick leave,” 
“She's sick?”
“Well, she didn't say she's sick but she said she's not feeling well enough to work,” Jake scratched his head, oblivious to Heeseung's deepening frown. 
“So, she's still in Monaco? She didn't leave at all?”
“Nope. After last week, she's still there,”
“Oh,” Heeseung knew what to do now. All it took was a disaster of a race and a whole lot of sleepless nights to overcome his fear and confront you once and for all. “I should get going,”
“You're not going to join me and Dokyeom for dinner?” 
“Maybe next time,”
Heeseung was going to make things right. He wasn't going to run away again, nor repeat the stupidest thing which was pulling the avoidance card. He's finally going to be honest about his thoughts and feelings. 
Flight booked and leaving in an hour. A two hour flight for him to collect his thoughts and soon he'd be back in Monaco, just in time to knock on your door and make things right.
Heeseung had a one way flight ticket to Monte Carlo, a whole dialogue he prepared in his head, and a dream. It was going to be alright.
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— MONTE CARLO, MONACO, 2023
Staying in bed and mulling around wasn't a part of your original plan.
You thought having this time to yourself was going to be spiritually and mentally cleansing, giving you enough space to get yourself together, but it was doing the opposite. 
To think that you're, in fact, being sad over a man was quite incredulous. But it was Heeseung, somehow or rather, he wasn't just a man. Curse him and his apartment next to yours, you couldn't stop thinking about him even though he wasn't there.
During the days you were at home, you thought it over, about Heeseung and your feelings for him, all of which returned to the same conclusion. You liked him, very much so, and you were hurting that he was physically ghosting you. The more you think about it the more you try to find solutions which end up failing. Thus, you were in a slump and merely survived by listening to Minjeong's pep talk over the phone.
“He'll turn up,” you remembered her saying, sounding so confident that you were somewhat surprised. She was actually confident in a man … that was a rare sight.
“How do you know?”
“It's Heeseung.”
It really was Heeseung. That was what you thought too when you heard your doorbell ringing, peeking through your peephole just to see his face. Was it the wrong timing to admit you've missed him?
There was no way you could be so heartless to not open the door, especially when you've been spending most of your time thinking about him and the possibilities of what he'd say. So, you opened the door, eyes meeting his much tired and saddened pair, a sense of familiarity ran through you. 
It was currently almost nine o'clock, the sky was dark and the streets were more quiet, but how in hell was Lee Heeseung standing in front of you when there was just a race hours ago? You were literally watching the race too, recalling Heeseung's off-putting performance that shocked everyone, including you.
“Heeseung?”
He seemed to have broken out of his trance, mouth opening just a little, trying to utter a single word but nothing came out. You raised your eyebrows expectantly at him, wishing he could say something, anything at this point.
“Do you like me?”
When you said you wish he could say something, this was the least expected one.
“What?”
Heeseung heaved a breath, looking slightly disappointed … at himself? He rubbed a hand on his face, frowning deeply. “Fuck—I swear I had a whole monologue for this, but I saw you and I just … couldn't think anymore,”
You gulped, the edge in his voice paired with his longing eyes made you shift your foot nervously. “Why are you here?” It didn't come out malicious or rageful, instead it sounded like defeat and tiredness, as if you've surrendered yourself. “Weren't you in Spain a few hours ago?”
“I figured we should have our talk,”
“Took you long enough,” you grumbled under your breath, a sour expression unknowingly pulled at your features. 
“I know, I'm sorry,”
You were silent for a moment, blinking furiously and formulating your words carefully. “You ran away from me, again, but you said you wouldn’t. You lied,”
“I know,” it came out as a bare whisper, emotions filled to the brim, regret and guilt evident in every letter. 
You didn't know what to say next, all the emotions trapped in you melted through your gaze, a mix of sadness, anger and desperation was calling out to Heeseung. His 'sorry' didn't make you feel better in any way either. If you had to be completely honest, you wanted to be mad, you wished to be angry at him and yell out every one of your frustrations that built up over the weeks, but it never happened.
“Heeseung, I don't really get you. What do you want from me?” you started, nearly pleadingly, backing up from the door as a way to tell him to come in, and thankfully, he got the signal. The door shut with a click of the lock, his figure approaching slowly. “One day you say you like me, we kissed, you proceeded to ignore me, then I saw you with girls at the party, and now you're asking if I like you? What am I supposed to do? Do you just secretly hate me or something?”
“What? No!” Heeseung scrunched his face up in confusion, but it soon dissolved into a look of helplessness, seeming equally awkward and stiff as you, both not knowing what to do. “God, I didn’t do anything with those girls, Yeonjun dragged me there and tried to set me up but I reciprocated nothing. You’re the one I want, Y/N,” there was a recognisable truth and honesty behind his voice, and you believed him. “I just wanted to say I'm sorry. I did some thinking—a lot, actually—and I'm a dumbass for ignoring you and running away after we kissed. But it's for a reason,”
“And that is …?”
Heeseung's shoulders sagged, sighing deeply. “I was scared you didn't like me,” he started, eyes flickering between you and the painting behind you, “—I know it sounds stupid but I just couldn't help but think about it. That night I told you how I felt … I thought it was fine when you didn't tell me an answer, yet it ate me up gradually after you said you were in love with me? But you were also drunk? You didn't say anything after and I didn't too,
“When we kissed, I wondered if you'd regret it, or that you didn't feel the way I did, I guess it got the worst of me so I chose to run before you could do anything,” he finally admitted the reasons behind his whole avoiding game, leaving you rather speechless in a way you couldn't comprehend. “It's stupid for me to do that, I know, that's why I'm here now, and I swear to you that I'm not going anywhere until we talk it out,”
You took in his words, trying your best to absorb it all, but his voice saying 'do you like me' was the only thing running through your mind.
‘Like’ would be an understatement when it came to your feelings for Heeseung. There were no limits, no boundaries whatsoever, nothing that just stopped at the word ‘like’. You felt for him, in a way that was indescribable and deeper than you've ever experienced before.
“I want you, Y/N, but I want you to want me too, that's what I want from you. I know you're mad and I get it—”
“I like you too,” the confession flowed out much more naturally than you had anticipated it to be. It was a part of you that you've held onto for so long, and finally, you're able to let it go, telling Heeseung your true feelings.
Heeseung blinked, mouth slightly ajar. “W–what?”
“I like you, Heeseung, a lot.” It took more than just mental strength for you to come to terms and admit it aloud, but you weren’t regretting a single thing either way, finally feeling the heavy weight being lifted off your chest. “I like you and your obsession with ramen, the way you smile or laugh, or how your nose crinkles everytime you laugh. I like every part of you, I–I think I might be in love with you,”
Heeseung could see the nervousness coming off you, your voice already shaking a little. He wanted to just rush towards you and pull you into his arms, but it wasn’t the best idea considering the situation. So, he stayed rooted to the ground, his gaze turning softer as seconds ticked by.
“I want you, more than you could ever think or fathom. I always did. I'm sorry I didn't make it clear in the beginning when you told me. I was still figuring all of it out and how I felt, so I just … froze. Then drunk me decided to tell you what I was scared to admit, but all of it was true—the things I said—so there's that,” you tried putting on a smile, but it wasn't much either. “When we kissed, I didn't regret it, not one bit and never would I ever think that. You mean a lot to me, Hee, and I'm sorry I didn't make you feel that way but I really, really like you, and I wish I had told you sooner,”
Heeseung was silent for a moment, his eyebrows furrowed and he had an unreliable expression that made you unnerved. However, it all melted away in the second, the corners of his lips were pulled up into a small smile, a certain reassurance hidden behind it. You felt balance and peace being restored gradually. “Are you kidding? You do make me feel that way. You don't understand how insane you get me every time. Y/N, you could get me to drop anything and anywhere if you want, even if it's in the middle of a race I'm leading. You make me feel more than you know of it,”
It was one of those times where everything felt like a movie. Heeseung professing his love for you in the middle of your living room was the last you’d come to conclusions, and it was surreal to think about. He had already shown you his devotion by showing up at your doorstep, there was obviously no doubt in what he said.
“I’ll be honest,” you began, chewing on your lips at the thought, “I'm still a little mad at you for doing what you did though,” you admitted rather pettily, crossing your arms and staring pointedly at him. “I can't believe you'd think I don't like you when I literally kissed you back,”
Heeseung was relieved that the mood was lightened a bit more, being able to crack a smile and chuckle quietly. “I panicked. I was scared of ruining everything we had,”
You couldn’t help but frown, mainly out of the solemnity his words carried. Heeseung didn’t want to ruin the connection you and he had, choosing to carry the burden that ended up hurting the two of you. “I get it, I wasn't any better too for being so vague. I accept your apology, and I'm sorry too,”
“Apology accepted,” Heeseung started approaching you, taking strides across the space separating you two until he was directly in front of you, looking vulnerable and bare, laying his heart out just for you. “So … we're cool then?”
“Yeah, we're cool,” you nodded much faster than you thought, showing off an embarrassing amount of enthusiasm that you didn’t hold back, “but …”
He was intrigued, wondering what he was getting into. “But?”
“I don't want us to go back to being just friends,”
Heeseung paused, opening his mouth just to shut it again, the confusion turned into amusement, his grin widening. “I'd be crazy to come all the way just to friendzone you,” he shook his head, “We've done the dates, practically said what we wanted to say, all that's left now is …” 
You knew what he was intending, and so did he. He has an eyebrow raised, one corner of his lips curved into a lopsided smirk. “So … what do you say? Can I be yours?”
Rolling your eyes, you stepped closer to him daringly, closing the distance between one another. There was a beat of silence, the only sound filling the air was your breathing and his shaky breaths. Then, you decided to do the craziest thing.
“I thought you'd never ask,” those were the last words uttered from your mouth when you threw your arms around his neck and pressed your lips onto his. You could feel Heeseung freeze under your touch, but it didn’t long for him to calm his nerves and relax, melting further into the kiss and letting his hands roam to your face and waist.
This was nothing like the first kiss you shared with Heeseung. It was something much more than that. There was a sense of urgency that you and him both knew and acknowledged. An overwhelming amount of longing and desire was finally conveyed through the kiss, telling you what you needed to know from the way Heeseung tilted his head to deepen the kiss, smiling against your lips after. 
Fireworks exploded internally, your mind was blank, the only thing in your head was the thought of him and the feeling of his lips. It was a new feeling, his lips moving against yours was almost like a fitted puzzle piece, too perfect and incomparable. It was a feeling you craved to have forever.
Before anything could advance further, you pulled away slowly, catching your breath in meantime. Looking at Heeseung, he was already staring at you, eyes filled with love and admiration. It was just silence, but you were basking in it, relishing the moment and his presence.
Heeseung leaned down to peck your lips, then again, and again on both sides of your cheeks, nose, forehead, and back to your lips once more. “I like you so much, more than the feeling of my cold pillow, or ramen, o–or even winning a race,”
All it took was one look at your face and seeing your smile to have Heeseung's nervousness disappear, replaced with a love filled smile that resembled the glow of the golden hour. A kiss from you was enough of a response, expressing your feelings more than words were capable of, whispering cheesy compliments to each other in an attempt to get one of you to laugh. 
“I guess I can say I'm a champion now?” Heeseung held you in his arms, his gaze holding yours. 
“Not quite,” 
“I finally got the girl I'm in love with. I consider myself as a champion, actually,” you were trying not to show how flustered you really were when he said he's in love with you aloud, catching you off guard for a second.
“You're never not going to be cheesy, aren't you?” 
“Never,” Heeseung gave your waist a squeeze, admiring the way you laughed along with the crinkles of the corner of your eyes. “I'll win the championship for you too,” 
You narrowed your eyes at him. “For me? Shouldn't it be for yourself?”
Heeseung hummed, pursing his lips a little. “I never really had someone other than my family to dedicate it to, and I want you to be that someone, my someone,” 
Eyes rolling but that smile on your face gave it all away. “Well, I can't wait for you to win it, Mr World Champion … my world champion.” 
Never in a million years would you expect yourself to be cheesily flirting with an F1 driver, but here you were. There was one thing that Heeseung made you feel for the first time in years, and that was love, irrevocable love that you would never trade anything for.
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— ABU DHABI, UAE, 2023
It has finally reached the last race of the season. 
Everyone in the stands, paddock and garage alike were all nervously moving around. Some anticipating the outcome, others betting money on it, the ones working in the garage were holding their breaths. 
There were still a few hours left to lights out and you were giving your usual pep talk to Jake, except this time it was a little more harsher. Being third in the championship leaderboard, you were immensely proud of his achievements, and you were encouraging him to give it one last shot. He gave you a salute before walking away to discuss some last minute strategies with his teammate, so you took it as a chance to slip away under Jake's nose to find Heeseung.
Jake was rather oblivious about you and Heeseung, but to be fair, everyone was, maybe except Minjeong who definitely screamed into your ear when you told her everything. 
Sneaking into Heeseung's hospitality has been one of your greatest skills over the past few weeks. You go in greeting the staff all friendly, pretending to be looking for a friend working there (which wasn't completely a lie) then you proceed to slip into his room. It was a day like before, but this time, Heeseung was already waiting by the door, and the moment you walked in, barely closing the door, he had you in his arms and lifted off your feet. 
“Heeseung” You squealed at the sudden approach, his spin only making you kick your feet in the air, your hand hitting his back.
“Hey, pretty,” he set you down back on the ground, a playful grin drawn on his face, arm still looped around your waist. “Missed you—” he brushed his nose against yours, giving you a small peck that left you blushing, “—like crazy”
“Hee, I saw you physically two days ago,” you rubbed his back, letting him press gentle kisses on every part of your face. 
“That's still a long time,”
You snorted at his never changing dramatic response, pinching his shoulder and he pouted at you like a wronged puppy. “Last race, you think you got it?”
“‘You think’? I know I do,” typical Heeseung, full of confidence and carrying himself with pride, you were to know by now to not doubt him. “I win this—all of this—will you let me ask you to be mine? Officially?”
Your gaze softened, your hand on his shoulder tightened a little, offering him a warm smile for more assurance. “It doesn't matter when or where you ask me, whatever the circumstances are, you already know my answer to it whether or not you win,”
Heeseung tugged you closer to him, your front basically pressed against his, only a few mere inches distanced you and him apart. “I know,”
“I’ll wait then,” your hand rested on his chest, your smile telling him there was nothing to worry about. “I’ll wait for the exact moment you cross the finish line and win it all,”
“Trust me, I'm going to.”
Situated in the Mclaren garage, you held your breath watching the fight between Heeseung and Jungkook for first place. Jungkook from Mercedes was second on the championship leaderboard, points only a fraction away from Heeseung, causing a tension-filled season of rivalry. For the last race, they were soon going to end it once and for all, concluding a winner of the season, explaining your sweaty forehead thanks to the nerves.
“Okay, Heeseung or Jungkook,” Chaewon brought up out of the blue when there were five laps left, Heeseung still leading but Jungkook occasionally giving many heart attacks by closing in.
“Heeseung,” you and Sakura both said in unison, clapping in excitement knowing you had the same picks. 
“Boo, I’m team Jungkook,” Chaewon frowned, watching Heeseung and Jungkook’s gap widening. 
“You’re kidding,” Sakura nudged Chaewon in surprise, whereas you kept quiet, a raised eyebrow being your response.
“Jungkook’s hot and beefy and tall, he’s also tattooed, you know?” Chaewon was practically drooling, dazedly starstruck. “Plus, he’s super nice and can drive,”
“Heeseung’s the same too,” you were quick to defend your man, though toning it down a bit to not come off too aggressive or suspicious. “Well … except the tattooed, beefy part,”
“That’s two points deducted,”
“It’s two against one so Heeseung won,” Sakura ended the debate, pointing at the screen to divert Chaewon’s attention. “He’s basically winning too,”
He really was. One lap left and he was inching closer to the finish line. The clock was ticking, your blood was thrumming, the shouts coming from people around you were tuned out. Your sole focus was trained on his red Ferrari car, the finish coming in view. One second passed, two seconds, three seconds, four …
“LEE HEESEUNG IS A FOUR TIME WORLD CHAMPION!”
Claps and shouts of congratulations rang throughout the garage for Heeseung. The Mclaren duo had come in third and fifth places individually, heightening the atmosphere to great heights at the news of grand results as an end to the season. You were on your feet, hugging both Sakura and Chaewon, them being unbeknownst to your actual elation.
All of you rushed out of the garage, managing to squeeze past the reporters and their cameras to the front of the barricade, seeing the top three drivers getting out of their cars. Jungkook who came in second congratulated Heeseung, but Chaewon’s fangirling beside you mostly distracted you. What can you say, her devotion to Jungkook was understandable in some ways. 
It was then you caught Heeseung’s eyes in the midst of everything. Sweat covered his face and drenched his hair, but it only made him glow under the night sky and bright lights. You didn’t even have the time to process it all. He was taking big strides towards you, not giving a care if every pair of eyes were on him, all he had on his mind was you. 
You opened your mouth to congratulate him as he approached you, but before you could say anything, he had already pressed his lips onto yours the moment he was in front of you. 
Gasps and the clicking sound of cameras were heard, yet you gathered everything in you to shut your eyes and kissed him back. Kissing him wasn't hard, it was natural, far too natural like it was an instinct. His lips moved against yours gently, loving and pouring out his overflowing want for you.
All heads were turned over to gawk at you and Heeseung. It was hard to ignore the burning stares and flashes of camera lights, so you pulled away from him (reluctantly) to save yourself from being plastered everywhere on the media, which seemed a bit too late by now.
“Let me be your boyfriend?” He whispered quietly, but loud enough for you to catch on and flash him one of his favourite smiles. 
Hard to hide your excitement and happiness, you nodded feverishly, the corners of your lips were pulled upwards. “Yes,” you pressed a swift kiss on his lips, your face burning to the brim, completely the opposite of Heeseung who managed to maintain his composure.
“My beautiful girl, what should we do now?” Heeseung cheekily commented, talking as if he wasn't standing right in front of a huge crowd right after winning another world championship. He knew damn well he had to get onto the podium and celebrate like there's no tomorrow.
“Well, my world champion boyfriend, as much as I wish to hoard you, you should go celebrate already,”
He leaned in close to you, whispering into your ear. “I'll let you hoard me all you want after,” shooting you a wink, he waved goodbye and left, disappearing into a crowd of people and leaving you flustered along with your dumbfounded colleagues.
“What was … that?” Chaewon slowly turned to look at you.
“Oh my God, you're dating Lee?” Sakura gasped for maybe the hundredth time already. “Okay, that's probably why he's a winner, huh? Because he has Mrs Lee here—”
“YOU'RE WITH HEESEUNG?” 
Shit.
Jake came into view, strands of hair stuck to his face didn't help his distress look either. No doubt, confusion was written all over his face, a raised eyebrow that was expecting an answer from you.
“Jake! Podium!” One of the staff shouted over at him. He, who placed third, didn't seem like he wanted it now that he has something else to uncover.
“You owe me an explanation.” Jake wasn't angry at all, he just looked thoroughly confused at the fact that one of his best friends was with his … cousin? Slash trainer, slash assistant, you get the gist. But at the same time, he also had that 'I knew it' shit-eating grin plastered on his face that you were very familiar with, he probably knew it was coming, didn't he?
Jake was eventually pushed to the back of your mind for the time being, mentally taking notes to deal with him after, but for now, the celebration was the crucial part of the night.
Watching Jake on that podium made you emotional, you couldn't lie. It reminded you of the many times you've seen him win at tournaments, and now, at F1 races, which was absolutely surreal. 
Gazing up at the stage where the podium was, your eyes followed Heeseung's figure appearing, and listened to his name being called on the speakers, the title of world champion belonging to him. He stood high and proud on the podium, eyes searching for someone in the crowd. Turns out, it was you he was looking for.
He mouthed your name the moment he locked eyes with yours, face visibly beaming like a star in the night. 'For you' was what came from his lips next, his finger pointing at the trophy in his hand then back at you. He was dedicating it to you, just as he said.
The smile on your face was evident to everyone how whipped you were for him, even giggling as you waved at him. Heeseung, being the person that he was, blew a flying kiss at you right before the national anthem played, and you were stuck there in shock. At this point, you should be prepared for things like that.
The night eventually rolled into the early morning. Heeseung was back at the hotel with you, secretly hiding out in your room while everyone else was mostly still out partying. It was just the two of you, on your bed with some room service as snacks.
“Shouldn't you go party with them instead of being stuck here with me?” You shoved a french fry into your mouth, not regretting your choice of returning early from the party to have a mini one on your own, plus Heeseung as an addition.
“I would rather be stuck here with you than with them,” Heeseung leaned onto your side, face obnoxiously getting closer, “You know I'll always choose you,” 
Even under the dim lights, you could make out the sparks hidden behind his stare. “You're my girl after all,” he added, ever so smoothly throwing his arm around your shoulder. “Isn't that crazy? You're my girl, my girl!” He dramatically gasped, feigning disbelief that you were, in fact, his.
“Yes, I am your girl, you idiot,” you reached to pinch his nose, and his face scrunched up, the biggest smile appearing on his face. Before you could retreat your hand, he had already grabbed onto it, fingers eventually making contact with yours and intertwined. “What are you doing?” It was a small whisper, curious and anticipating.
“This—” one pull of his hand, he yanked onto yours and pulled you into him, catching your face gently and pressing his lips onto yours. 
The only way to describe your thoughts was insanity. His small stunt had left you fighting for yourself internally, blood pulsing and heart skipping. He was the death of you.
You pushed him away after a few moments, having to catch your breath, but mostly to regain your composure. “Oh my God,” you breathed out, neither of you looking away from each other. “You're … wow,”
“Too cliche?”
“Is it bad if I admit I eat it up every time?”
“I don't have any more up my sleeves, I'm afraid,” he laughed, joking light-heartedly, turning his  head slightly to the side. “Can I have one more?”
“One more?” You hummed, fingers rubbing your chin in thought, continuously teasing him. “Why should I?”
“I asked nicely,” he poked at his cheek expectantly, lips jutting out in a pout. “Please?”
Only you could have Heeseung act this way. The reigning Formula One champion, could you believe that?
You didn't say anything, leaning in and pressed a peck on the spot he pointed out on his cheek. A satisfied smirk told you everything you needed to know, his hold on your hand tightening. “I'm in love with you,” he confessed, a spur of the moment kind of confession that you were already aware of, but to hear him say it again got your heart skipping in ways you didn't know. “I'm basically the luckiest man in the world right now,”
“Shouldn't I be the lucky one too?” You nudged at his ribs softly, unable to contain your laugh. “I'm lucky to have you with me, like super lucky,”
Heeseung crossed his arms, raising his eyebrows with a pinch of amusement. “Really?”
“Really. I get to have good ramen whenever I want,” you grinned foolishly at him, seeing his face morphed into a look of disbelief. You shook your head, stifling your laughter at his reaction. “But I like you more than your home cooked ramen,”
Warmth spread over his expression, a soft glow to his features under the light brought out the way he stared at you, irises written with words he couldn't convey with his mouth. He was undeniably head over heels, it was already clear from the look of his eyes, they never lie.
“I don't think Chaewon's coming back tonight, she'll probably crash in Sakura's room,” you gave his hand a light squeeze, glancing over at the clock for a split second, it was already past two. “Can you stay?”
Heeseung's expressions were filled with love and affection, a softness to them that he only had with you. You already knew his answer before he had to say it out loud. “I'll stay. You know I'll always do.”
Somehow, you knew his simple promise for the night carried something more to it. It wasn't just a promise that lasted for a night, it was for a lifetime ahead of you. Because you knew, no matter what, he would always stay. 
From the front door of your apartment to a random hotel room in Abu Dhabi almost a year later, it was crazy to think that a Formula One world champion had scored his biggest win yet: the girl next door, his oblivious neighbour that wasn't even aware of him or his popularity in the first place.
Turns out, meeting his oblivious neighbour was one of his greatest moments in life ever, because now, Lee Heeseung might not know what to do without you. 
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( © jaylver all rights reserved. do NOT copy, plagiarise or edit my work and repost whatsoever. once discovered will be exposed and blacklisted. )
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2K notes · View notes
drunkhazed · 18 days
Note
noooooooooooo i know bestie jay already has a part 2 but i neeeeeeeed a part 3 it was sooooooongoooooood
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more of this—> and this—> warning. coercion, manipulative pervert bestie Jay, he’s nasty ;o, unprotected sex, breeding
THIS IS THE LAST PART! no more after this🩷
“So, you fucked.”
It’s not that Jay’s surprised, he’s not even all that bothered, but he is curious.
He’s seen Sunghoon around the locker room, he knows he’s bigger than him. There’s no way the photos he sent you fulfilled your expectations.
Trying to hide a frown, you nod, twirling the straw in your drink. “We did, I don’t know. After the pictures and everything I felt crazy.”
“Crazy how?” Jay leans in, voice low, shoving his half eaten plate of food aside. He wants to ask more, of course, really grill you and interrogate, find out if you saved the pictures he sent you. But that could incriminate him, too suspicious. He has to keep it cool.
You shrug, leaning back with a tired sigh. “Like.. he’s hot, don’t get me wrong. Super hot. I guess I pictured it going differently.”
“Well darling,” he chuckles, grabbing the receipt before you can even think to. “That doesn’t really help me solve this dilemma for you.”
“Jayyyyyy.” Ah, you whine so cute, he doesn’t even hesitate to pay for your meal. Waving the waiter back over while you’re distracted fidgeting with your fingers. “You know how it is, when someone’s too good looking.. they have to have some type of flaw.”
Dragging his eyes down your upper half, he bites down on his lip, wanting to disagree. There’s no flaw when it comes to you, because he’s looked, searched high and low. You’re perfect for him, even if you don’t get that yet.
“Get to the point here babe, he’s good looking but his stroke game sucked?”
“I wouldn’t say it sucked.” You grimace, giving yourself away the more you search for something to distract your hands with. Choosing a napkin to shred into pieces. “I think.. maybe I had higher expectations because it was so hot through the phone.. but he—we, I didn’t even get to finish.”
Jay gasps, clutching his chest, jaw hanging loose. “Shut up!”
“I’m serious!” You whine again, resting your head against the booth. “Like, he didn’t even take me inside, just bent me over in the backseat..”
Backseat fuck? Please be joking. His teeth grind thinking about it, you’re better than a car fuck. You deserve a bed encrusted with diamonds and gold, a shrine to display your body. 
“That’s,” his tongue drags along the backs of his teeth, huffing a laugh. “That’s unbelievable. That guy talks a big game in the locker room. I knew he was full of it, probably jealous cause I don’t have to lie about my reputation.”
There’s a flicker of curiosity that passes your face, head tilted to the side. “What do you mean? Like, he’s competing with you?”
Jay laughs, slotting his card back inside of his wallet. “Could be. Always thought he held a grudge when he got nothing but bench warming done during the first season. Whatever, either way.” Slowly peering up, he locks on your intrigued gaze. “Could never be me. I’d rewrite history with my tongue inside of your pussy, leave you shaking harder than a fucking earthquake in Japan.”
The bottom row of your teeth appear first, juicy lower lip hanging loosely, pupils dilating. “Hah—wha—“
“I mean,” crossing his arms to purposely flex his biceps, he shrugs. “You know, if it wasn’t you. Any other girl, sure.”
“Excuse me??”
He scoffs, brushing you off. “Ugh, that’d be like fucking my sister.”
“Jay! Don’t say that!” You have the gall to look offended, glaring at him.
“God, he just went straight to fucking, huh?” He whistles, head shaking. “Couldn’t even eat you out or open your pussy up first?”
“Jay!” It’s cute how you still somehow find the audacity to glance around as if anyone nearby can over hear. Putting on this silly act of shame, as if you weren’t getting plowed through in the backseat of a mustang on your knees less than 24 hours ago.
“Seriously, such a shame.” A loud click of his tongue resounds, standing up, making extra effort to adjust his jeans. Cock shape fitted right against the crotch of his pants, not missing the way you can’t stop yourself from getting a look. “You always end up with these duds that could give a fuck about you cumming or not.” Throwing an arm around your shoulder, he leads you out to his car. Staying a step ahead even so to make sure he gets to the passenger door before you.
“Well, like you said,” you shift awkwardly, leaning against his car as he gets the door for you. “You have a reputation and apparently I’m too much like your fucking sister to even consider letting me experience that.”
Bingo.
Jay grins to one side, a cocky but charming smile, tapping the roof of his car. “It’d be too weird, you’re my best friend.”
He turns and moves closer, barricading you against his car with his palms flat on the hood behind you. “If we fucked, if I fucked you.” He licks his lips, gaze traveling down your face slowly, ending on your lips. “Showed you how it’s really supposed to be, how good it can feel. I don’t know babe.”
He sighs, moving in closer for your lower halves to press together. “How are you going to look me in the eye after I’ve had my dick so deep inside your pussy, make you feel that shit in the back of your throat.” 
“Jay, that’s—“
“Can you really have a conversation with me again without dripping between your thighs, without focusing on my tongue and all the ways I made you scream with my mouth latched on that pussy?”
“Oh.”
“You’re thinking about it, huh?” He has to laugh again, a deep ‘hah-hah-hah’. 
How can you not? He’s so fucking disgusting.
“Maybe.”
“Yeah well,” patting your hip, he pushes you to get inside the car. “Keep dreaming darling.”
“You’re staying over right? My parents won’t be home until super late.” You say suggestively, thighs clamped together tightly.
“I’ll stay as late as you’ll have me babe.” Jay’s smooth, he’s real smooth. You know he is, but maybe it’s how unsatisfied last night left you, dragging your ass home after getting fucked in less than 5 minutes. Maybe it’s the way your best friend uses one hand to drive you home, pats your thighs while you crack jokes and mess up song lyrics. 
“Jay, we’re best friends.” 
“Uh, yeah.” He snorts, pulling into park. “Stating the obvious?”
“Why don’t you talk to me about girls much? I tell you everything..” you head to your bedroom together, jumping onto your bed with him in tow. “Like, I don’t even think I know what your type is? You literally know my body count, probably better than me.”
He does, he can name your first kiss, time and place. The first guy that fingered you, first one that ate you out, first that got to fuck you. He can name them all, and none of them have been him.
“My type..” he sits next to you, pulling his favorite pillow of yours to his chest. Hugging tightly for the scent of your shampoo permanently drenched through the cotton to emit. “I like..” looking at you from the corner of his eye, he reaches for your knee, thumb caressing. “Cute girls, that play extra dumb with me. Pretty face, you know..” he fully turns to look at you, pinching your chin with his other hand. “Like yours, and well,” he nods, continuing down your body, hand dropping to your chest. “Nice body, not too fit, curvy in the right places.”
“Jay..”
“Basically you.” He smiles, a forced smile. A smile to hold up this act and not crush under the weight of the truth. Because if you wanted to know the truth, no bullshit, he’d rip his heart out of his chest for you and let you break him in half. He’d empty his soul if you asked, whatever your wish is, he’d figure out how to make it come true.
“You know.” It’s easy to grab his hand, there’s no fear or shyness. Even with your heartbeat fastening, stomach fluttering. “It’s stupid but whenever I get a crush I always end up comparing them to you. Like Sunghoon right, he’s got that crazy jawline, and I’d think about how yours is still sharper, more angled.” 
Instinct has him straightening his spine, jaw muscles flexing, lifting his eyebrows up playfully. “I definitely have something you can’t compare to any of them..”
“Show me then.” You urge just as playfully, swinging your hands. 
“Yeah?”
“Yeah.”
Jay sits up onto his knees, thighs smushed together in the position, jeans squeezing around the muscles. “Think you can handle it?”
“I think I can.” 
He’d swoop at the chance to make fun of you if not for how fast your expression shifts. Eyes gone hooded, lips pouting out and parted open, unabashedly ogling his pronounced size. 
As much as he wants to keep up his confident image, he’s screaming inside. The horny teenager that started jerking off to the thought of you years ago after seeing you in a swimsuit for the first time coming out of his dark gloomy cave to shout at the top of his lungs. This is it, this is his chance.
“Don’t say ‘damn!’ when you see how big I am.” Leave it to Jay to break the tension with a corny line, making you smack your face and groan. His shoulders bounce, unzipping himself and shoving his jeans under his ass. “I’ll let you do the honors.”
“Stopppp.”
Despite moving closer, he can sense how nervous you are now. The way you continue to look around and play with your hair. He rolls his eyes and grabs one of your hands right before you can toy with your earring. “Quit fucking around.”
To be fair, it’s not technically the first time you’ve seen his dick. Albeit that was years ago, and he’s grown ten times in size since the days you’d rinse off together quickly after hours at the pool. Even back then Jay was never very shy about his body, clearly carrying that confidence into adulthood. 
“Are we about to fuck?” You’re asking jokingly, allowing him to direct your hand to his covered bulge, gripping around yours to make you squeeze him. 
“Only if you let me hit it raw.”
“Jongseong.”
“Serious, I’ll eat you out for hours.” The stern tone you say his full name in does nothing to deter him, nothing can now that he has you this close. Even if you didn’t want to at this point, he wouldn’t be able to stop. The thought makes his cock jump, groaning and gripping your hand around him harder. “Suck my cum right out of you, spit it back down your hole only to suck on your clit again. Get you nice and numb with my mouth, have you begging for me to eat your ass next.”
“Are you always this depraved?” There’s that fraudulent shame again, the prudish act as if he can even count the dicks you’ve taken with 2 sets of hands. The way you cower and flush lets him know all he needs to know, leaning in to press his lips against your cheek. 
“I’m worse baby, exactly what you wish they all were.” Whispering huskily, he shoves your hand inside his boxers, thrusting up against your palm, eyes fluttering shut.
“Oh my God.” You gasp, fingers trembling, inspecting the girth you can barely wrap around completely. 
“Tell me how wet your pussy is.” Jay’s hands roam down your body, squeezing your waist on his way to your hips to hike up your shorts; scrunching the material up between your thighs painfully.
“Shit, you’re—“
“Do they ever get you this wet?” There’s arrogance laced throughout the question, smirking against your cheek. “I can hear it.”
It’s embarrassing because it’s true, clenching your eyes shut with another rough tug on your shorts. The sound of your cotton underwear rubbing against your cunt plays obscenely. Little splatsplats, squeezing more slick from your excited hole. “Answer me.”
“J-jay.” Oh fuck you’re already whimpering. Not even the voice messages you sent moaning could compare to this, vibrating through his ear, shooting shockwaves straight to his cock. He has to swallow hard, growling deep in his chest. 
“That’s not good enough.” Rough calloused guitar playing hands slap your exposed buttcheeks, shorts wedged up in-between. “Who gets you wet like this?”
“Y-you do, s’only you.” 
That’s it. That’s what he wants to hear, what he needs to hear. Coughing back a moan, he twists your body fast, even catching your breath as he knocks your back to his chest and dives in to cup your cunt. “Shit. Fuck.”
The hard pads of his fingers find your clit, chin hooked over your shoulder watching his hand disappear inside. The way you chant his name between struggling breaths has the veins lining his forearm flexing, rubbing figure eights on your bundle of nerves. “Little clit all hard for me.” 
“Ahh—don’t say that!” 
He’s had enough of this modest act, groaning as he grips your shorts and panties to one side. His hand draws free to land a few heavy palmed hits between your thighs, rocking against your ass that bounces up and down upon impact. “Don’t you dare tell me what I can and can’t say, do you hear me?”
“Jay, fuck!” He hardly gives you a chance to breathe properly, shoving your chest down onto the bed, he hooks onto your ruined shorts. It’s this moment that has him floating, slowly rolling the material down your hips, exposing inch after inch. Perky ass bouncing with each new tug, lighting his erection up with pure heat. 
The amount of wet arousal that greets him could save a country from dying out of thirst, releasing globs of slick the second he exposes your hole. Jay can’t stop the round of curses that fly out from there, shoving your bottoms and panties all the way down to your ankles. He makes a place for himself between your legs, freeing himself of his jeans and briefs. “You’re sure about this.”
Because I’m not going to stop, even if you scream. No matter how much you cry and claw.
“I’m—“ your head turns, neck twisting back to look at him with your pretty sweet eyes. Eyes that look at him as if he holds the entirety of your universe in his hands. “I’m—want it. Want you to.”
“I know.” Bending over on your back, he gathers your hair away from your face, kissing up and down your cheek. Pecking a saliva wet kiss at the corner of your mouth. “Because you’re a fucking slut. You know what sluts love?”
Tears well up in your eyes, glittering at him so prettily, accepting how right he is about you with a small shake of your head. 
Jay sits up, fully mounting your backside, scratching his blunt nails from your lower back to your waist. He grips around tight, forming a belt choking your breath out with his firm hold to keep your head against the bed. Your shoulders and tits pressed down, ass high up on the air, pussy on full display.
The fat blunt tip of his cock presses to your hole, rolling your eyes up instantly. “Sluts like you..”
He breathes raggedly, gaze passing from the whites of your eyes, down your spine, over his veiny hands constricting you, gliding over the ripples rolling up your ass down to where his cock teases at your entrance. “They love to get fucked.”
It’s as if your mind goes completely blank when he’s fully inside. Mouth hung open pouring out copious amounts of drool, dead gaze staring out ahead, pussy clamped tight around his size. You’re every bit of the brainless whore he’s ever wished for, taking the entirety of his cock with only one full thrust. Wetness splatters all over the lower half of his stomach and thighs, immediately falling into a heavy neck-breaking speed. Hips clap down on your ass, fat cock burying in deep, hitting your g-spot full on. 
“Wish you could see yourself right now.” Jay rasps, pounding into you harder and faster. “Perfect little slut, my perfect little fucking slut.”
“Yesyesyes!” 
“Keep screaming for me like that.” It’s music to his ears, the claps of your wet skin against his. The cries between your moans, the broken way you keep repeating his name. “Who fucks you,” he pants, lost in his pleasure, lost in your pleasure. “Who fucks you as good as your best friend?”
Your walls immediately clench around him, pushing out a wet gushing sound on the next thrust in. Jay grunts, digging his nails into your skin to hurt, desperate to leave some marks behind. “Speak up!”
“Jay! Jay! You! Youyouyou!” Your screaming can hardly break through the sound of your wet pussy taking his thick size. 
“Sucking me in so good, how is your pussy this fucking good.” He’s rambling nonsense, stealing glances at his cock diving in and out, cunt skin stretched around his girth. Tip kissing your cervix at this angle so so good, just right. “You’re gonna cum for me.”
It’s not a question, but an order. His weight comes down on your ass, lifting up onto his feet to climb up and fully mount you, palm slapping down on your nape lodging your face against the bed. “Cum for me right the fuck now!”
He barrels in at a pace that has your toes curling, eyes at the back of your skull, gasping for breath between his weight landing down on you full force. Each bury of his cock hits right where you need as if Jay memorized the map of your insides somehow. “I’m—I’m cu—“
The most intense wave of pleasure cuts you off, scrabbling to grip onto your bed sheets, knees sliding down. He fucks you through it, moving down with you where you lay flat on your stomach, cock drilling in and out past your orgasm. “T-too deep!”
“Like it deep.” Jay grits, slamming in rapidly. The hand on your nape unrelenting, ass clapping back against every thrust he gives. He bears down harder through your screams of over sensitivity, pressing his toned chest down on your back. 
He’s filling you to the brim, stuffed full, continuously striking the place that feels so fucking good deep inside of you. “Dumb fucking slut.” Jay huffs, breathily laughing, watching your ass begin to fuck him back. “All you needed was a real good dicking.” He adds with a whip-like snap cracking down on your ass. Stinging and heating up your flesh.
“Uh—mhm—please!”
“Fuck you’re seriously cumming again.” He groans, squeezing his eyes shut, digits digging through the back of your hair to grip. “You feel so fucking good.”
Everything hits him hard. He’s inside of you, he’s finally fucking you, he’s making you his. Cock drunk, obsessed and desperate, everything he’s ever dreamed of. It’s so worth it, all the humiliation he’s put himself through, so worth it when his dick starts pouring out strings of white inside of you. So deep inside of you. 
“Fuck.” Forcing himself to keep his eyes open, he leans in to lick up your tear stained cheek, pecking the side of your nose. Hips rolling as he empties out inside of you.
Right now, right here in your room, the bed he’s cuddled with you on for years. He’s here, he’s inside of you, and it's still not close enough. It will never be enough when it comes to you.
As much as it pains him to pull out, he fully intends to lick you clean, to spend the next hour with his nose pressed to your clit. 
After he turns you over to look at him, strips your top off, swipes his thumb across your chin to clean off the drool. “Jay..”
“I know.” Sucking his digit clean, he bends down to kiss you, chest hallowing when you kiss back. “I know, and I’m nowhere near done with you yet baby.”
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fadedin2u · 3 months
Text
like doves in the wind
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MDNI 18+
summary: ellie’s past girlfriends never offered to eat her out, and when you find that out, you decide to take matters into your own hands (based on the song like doves in the wind by sza)
word count: 1.2k
content: sub!ellie, dom!reader, cunnilingus (e!receiving), fingering (e!receiving)
notes: this is definitely not proofread, but this is my first time writing smut (oh dear lord) so helpful critiques are much appreciated lmao
you look at your girlfriend with a startled look on your face, taken aback.
“none of your past girlfriends or hook ups have wanted to eat you out?” you ask, borderline in disbelief.
ellie’s freckled cheeks are red with embarrassment, and she looks anywhere other than your face.
“i mean… no. but it’s not like i asked them to or anything… but they weren’t… they didn’t offer it up, i guess.” ellie finishes, her teeth tearing at her bottom lip nervously.
you and ellie recently started dating after years of pining, and you’ve been taking it slower than she’s used to, but you’ve still done quite a bit together. you assumed that ellie had done basically everything under the sun when it came to sex due to her experience with women, but you clearly assumed wrong on this one.
you watch ellie, noticing how her normally playful and sometimes brash personality has been dulled, leaving her anxious and unsure of herself.
you lean against her, kissing under her jaw, “hey. it’s okay, it’s not like you’ve done anything wrong, i’m just surprised.”
ellie sighs, rubbing the back of her neck, “it’s kind of fucking weird though, right? i mean… not to sound stupid, but it makes me stressed that there was, like, a reason…”
you kiss her lips this time, carefully as you cup her face. you pull back, making sure her green eyes are making direct eye contact with yours.
“els… no. if there was a reason, it’s probably a fucking stupid one.”
you kiss her jaw again, and then her neck.
“would you let me try?”
ellie’s eyes widen and her breath picks up slightly. her hands instinctively come to brace your hips as you kiss her neck.
“you- you want to?” ellie asks, her voice slightly hoarse.
you nip her neck, laughing slightly, “are you fucking kidding?”
ellie inhales shakily at your response, getting ridiculously turned on, but still a little nervous.
“if you- um, if you want to stop, you can really stop whenever, like anytime, even if i haven’t cum yet-“
you cut ellie off with another kiss to the lips, your hands sliding down her chest and stomach.
“do you want this?” you murmur against her lips between kisses.
ellie nods immediately, “please.”
that’s all you need, pushing ellie’s t-shirt up to expose her perky breasts, your girlfriend never willingly choosing to wear a bra.
you cup and squeeze her tits as you kiss her, and she makes a breathy little noise.
you smile into the kiss at her response and pull back, moving down to kiss one of her nipples before taking it into your mouth and sucking on it.
ellie’s legs jump a little and her hands immediately go to your head as she moans softly, pressing your head into her chest.
“fuck, that fucking tongue of yours…” she rasps, her eyes focused on your lips latched on to her nipple.
you move to do the same to the other side, and ellie’s reactions never get old.
when you start kissing down her stomach, her breath gets heavier, her pupils dilated. you reach the waistband of her jeans, licking a stripe across the skin just above it.
ellie whines a little, “don’t be a fucking tease…”
you look up, raising an eyebrow, “oh, so it’s only fair when you tease me?”
ellie’s cheeks burn, not having a response to that.
you giggle a little and undo her fly, pulling her jeans down.
when you see the obvious wet spot on her boxers, you grin wide, knowing that you’re responsible.
“shut the fuck up.” ellie warns, her cheeks flushed with embarrassment and desire.
you just grin cheekily at ellie before you kiss down her inner thigh from her knee. ellie’s breath grows more bated, biting her lip as she watches you.
when you finally get to the wet spot on her boxers, you pull back, looking up through your lashes at ellie, “can i taste you?”
ellie nearly moans at your words, “fucking please.”
you don’t hesitate before pressing your face in between her legs, pressing a broad, firm lick to the wet spot. ellie makes a guttural noise, her hands gripping the duvet beneath her. you can feel her warmth beneath your tongue, and you press your tongue into her for a moment before completely withdrawing.
ellie’s face already looks wrecked when you look up, and at this point, you’re too desperate to tease her anymore.
you pull her boxers down and dive between her legs again, licking a stripe up her soaking wet pussy, collecting her juices on your tongue.
ellie moans embarrassingly loud as her legs instantly close around your head, and you push them back so they’re spread.
“nuh uh. open.” you say sternly, and she immediately nods.
you feel a weird rush from the power trip of having ellie williams under your thumb, obeying you. you don’t hesitate before continuing to eat ellie out, your tongue plunging between her folds as she gasps and whimpers
“fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck-“ ellie chants as she holds onto your hair, her hands pushing your face into her.
you allow it, your tongue circling her entrance before diving into it, tasting more of ellie’s pre-cum from the source.
you pull back, your lips and chin wet as you admire her for a second. her legs are trembling slightly, her boxers and jeans gathered around her ankles, and her t-shirt bunched up over her tits.
“god you’re fucking pretty…” you breathe out, licking your lips. ellie almost looks like she’s going to argue that, but she bites her tongue, thankfully.
“your exes are more stupid than i thought to pass up on this-“ you say before pressing your face back into her core and continuing your ministrations, your tongue circling her clit.
“jesus fuck-“ ellie pants, her eyes clenching shut as she clutches at your hair.
her bush tickles your nose slightly as you eat her out, wiggling your head back and forth a little. you slowly bring your hand up to her entrance and slip two fingers in without warning.
ellie moans loudly, her mouth agape as she pants and bucks her hips.
you continue to circle her clit with your tongue as you curl your fingers inside her, starting to pump them in and out.
you keep at this a while until you slip in a third finger, finger fucking her hard as you suck her clit, her juices starting to drip down your hand and forearm.
ellie is a whimpering mess at this point, bucking her pussy into your mouth as you pleasure her.
“shit- i’m gonna fucking cum don’t stop-“ ellie whimpers, her legs trembling more and more.
you don’t stop, curling your fingers up harder as she climaxes, her hips moving wildly as you slurp her up, her eyes rolling back into her head.
you work her through her orgasm, and when she comes down, you slowly withdraw your fingers from her.
“suck these while i clean you up, yeah?” you ask, bringing your fingers to her mouth.
ellie’s eyes widen before wrapping her lips around your fingers, humming as she sucks and licks them.
you go back down to lick up ellie’s cum, her sticky, clear juices melting on your tongue as you lick her thoroughly. her hips jolt and you hear a muffled whimper from above.
when she’s cleaned up, you lift up your head, wiping off your mouth.
“feeling okay?” you ask, climbing back up to cuddle with her.
ellie laughs a little, a goofy, satiated grin on her face as she looks at you incredulously, “dude. are yolu fucking serious?”
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yulin-pop · 4 months
Text
⤷ ✧ 𝐇𝐨𝐧𝐞𝐬𝐭𝐲
order 84 | Scenario | Cater, Jade, Idia, Silver | gender neutral
❀ NOTE: PRETTY BOYS AHHHH, I wonder if all the characters are canonically attractive or are some characters like Ace considered mid?
“Don’t take this the wrong way, but you’re so…”
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➺ Cater Diamond
There’s a reason why Cater has so many followers on MagiCam. It’s because he has a cute face!! You’re not sure if he’s aware but he just has to be.
He does these tiny things like brushing the hair out of his face or slightly turning his head when he laughs. You didn’t really realize how pretty he was for a while. Sure, you got nervous just staring at him but now you can’t even look him in the eye.
“Don’t take this the wrong way, but you’re so hot…”
He blinked for a moment. He was in the middle of drying his hair when you said that. All he could think is “Oh wow?” He noticed that you’ve been staring at him so intensely for the past few days— maybe weeks.
But you said it straight to his face? He thought he misheard you at first but you definitely said that.
“Wow, I didn’t know you fancied me that way MC!” Admittedly it did fluster him, he was flattering in the best way possible.
“Don’t get it twisted, it’s not in the way you’re thinking!”
You’re in denial.
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⊱Jade Leech
He has that certain look to him. It’s different than Floyd even though they’re identical twins. Maybe he’s not aware how MMMMMMM he is but he has to.
Just the way he looks at you can get you weak on the floor. His eyes… You noticed how his eyes squint ever so slightly when he’s focused. He’s calm under any circumstances yet so amusing in his own way. He’s the type of person you’d want to follow around just for the fun of it. And in his own way… he’s just so damn cute too.
“Don’t take this the wrong way, but you’re so cute…”
He quickly turned his head to stare at you. He’s not sure what you mean or why. It was so out of the blue. You’ve been stalking him for a while. Of course he knew and allowed it and treated it as if it was normal.
“Pardon? In what way am I… cute?” He turned his head curiously.
“Cute!” You said again.
He wasn’t sure how to feel, the last time someone called him cute was when he was a little kid. Most people would think of Jade as alluring or handsome, cute is something he hasn’t heard in a while.
“If you’re talking about my appearance, you must think Floyd is cute as well.” He says while smiling at you.
“Eh I guess so. But he’s not as cute as you.”
He moved closer, “Tell me, what else do you think of me?”
You put your hands out in front of you, as if to say stop. “Why do you have to be so close..?!”
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*ੈ Idia Shroud
It’s already canon that Idia is very attractive from the character archives book and the ghost marriage event while being complete oblivious. He’s charming in his own way.
It’s hard to believe he’s so oblivious to his good looks. His smile is nerdy yet… attractive. His personality is rough but that’s what makes him so fun. Teasing someone like him is hilarious.
“Don’t take this the wrong way, but you’re so hot.”
He immediately cranked his head your direction with a baffled expression. He shook his head and let out an irritated squeal.
“Wh-who says stuff like that to somebody’s face?! Online I get it but this is IRL! Why does someone like you even think that?”
He just gets really flustered and ends up rambling about how it doesn’t make sense. But when he looks back on it, it gives him an ego boost for a few minutes and then he’s embarrassed because— it makes him happy that you think of him that way.
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-ˋˏ Silver
Unintentional or not, Silver has been seeing you around a lot. He doesn’t think much of it since you’re in the same school so it’s not anything crazy but when he does see you, you’re always staring at him with this… funny expression.
Did he do something wrong? He tries to wave at you when he can but as soon as he turns his head you run away or start acting like you weren’t the one staring first.
But what were you suppose to do? Whenever you saw him, all your attention was diverted to his gentle yet sharp expression. His resting face was already so deadly, you couldn’t imagine if he were to smile.
“Don’t take this the wrong way, but you’re so pretty…”
He froze with a puzzled look on his face. This was one of the times you actually started a conversation with him instead of staring and running away and you say something so flirtatious?
“Ah…” He blinked as you gazed into his eyes nervously, “Thank you I suppose.” But in what way was he suppose to take that?
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wardenparker · 1 month
Text
For Valentine's Day
Joel Miller x female reader Co-written with @absurdthirst
Rating: E for Explicit Word Count: 12.2k Warnings: Cursing, mentions of food and alcohol, taking care of a baby in the post-apocalypse, Ellie being a big sister, established relationship, mentions of breastfeeding, fingering, unprotected sex, praise, talk of birth control methods. Summary: You, Joel, Ellie, and Caroline arrive in Jackson to find the town getting ready to celebrate Valentine's Day. Notes: These darling dears were long overdo for a visit, so Happy Valentine's Day from the post-apocalypse! The rest of the 'For' series can be found on my Masterlist if you haven't read it yet!
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Jackson is like another world. Joel is on edge, despite the friendly faces. Despite the relative safety of the town. He had been shocked to see Tommy here. Thriving, when Joel has lost so much to find him. To find that he isn’t needed. Although, he’s relieved to find a safe little spot for his baby girl and for you. Relieved that a comfortable house is available for you to rest in. It still baffles him to find an entire town getting ready for Valentine’s Day.
The trip was grueling, although all four of you made it in one piece. There were a hell of a lot of days that you weren’t sure if you would make it at all — but that wasn’t really an option. Not with Caroline sleeping on your chest in the homemade wrap carrier that Joel had helped you fashion out of ripped sheets you’d found and washed in an abandoned house along the way. You’ve been bonding with Ellie along the way, and she’s pretty good with Caroline, but your little girl is the reason you’ve been fighting so hard. Now that you’re in Jackson you don’t really know what’s going to happen with you and Joel. All you know is that you have four walls and a roof again, and Caroline is safe.
“Why are there so many hearts everywhere?” Ellie asks Joel, looking around as decorations are put up and the snow crunches under his new boots as he shoves his hands back in his pockets. “Holiday.” He grunts, sure that the kid is fucking with him. She seems to know all the old holidays anyway.
“Have you ever heard of Valentine’s Day?” Who knows what she learned in that FEDRA school back in Boston, or if anyone even thinks about Valentine’s Day anymore — outside of Jackson. You can't even believe that this town is decorating and getting ready for some mass celebration. It's surreal. And a little Hallmark. But in the post-apocalypse? It's amazing in a way you didn't even know you wanted.
“You mean that commercial holiday where men bought their ladies chocolate and flowers, took them on expensive dates?” Ellie asks with a smirk on her face. “You know, they said that soooooo many people proposed on Valentine’s Day. Or made babies.”
"That...is not wrong," you admit, ruffling her hair as you walk alongside the teen with little Caroline strapped to your front. "I guess the folks here are trying to keep as many older traditions alive as they can."
“So what are you going to do for Valentine’s Day?” Her voice takes on a sly, teasing tone and she cuts her eyes over to Joel, who’s shoulder seem inches higher than they just were. “Make a sibling for Caroline?”
"She already has a sibling." When the dubious teen wrinkles her nose at you in confusion, you knock her shoulder and offer her the warmest, softest smile. The real one — not one that teases or has expectations. "You, Ellie. You've been an amazing sister to her on this whole trip."
“Oh.” Her cheeks turn bright red and she ducks her head down slightly, but you don’t miss the proud look on her face. “She’s not so bad.” She huffs. “For a baby.”
"You're not so bad, either." A soft laugh escapes you, and you duck your own head to press a kiss to the top of Caroline's covered head. "For a teenager."
“The baby ready for a nap?” Joel asks. “It’s been a while.”
"We're almost home. I'll lay her down when we get in." The trip into town had been necessary, but Caroline had gotten fussy while Joel was talking to his brother and stepping outside had been practical. It's definitely naptime, no two ways about that. Especially not the way your little girl has been on the verge of tears for half the walk.
“Do you want me to hold her?” Joel asks. Knowing that it’s been a struggle keeping her calm and maybe you need a break.
"She might calm down a little for Daddy." Typically Caroline seems to find being held by Joel to be soothing or at least enough of a novelty to distract her from whatever was upsetting her, and you pause in your steps to carefully extract Caroline from her nest on your chest to hand over to Joel.
His hands are always gentle holding Caroline. As if he is scared to possibly hurt her or stain her with his blood-soaked hands. “Hey, baby girl.” He coos, smiling down at her tear-stained face. “Why so grumpy?”
His little girl — your little girl whimpers and moans a little but the tears stop flowing and you end up chuckling wryly under your breath. “I’m the one who brought her into the world and took care of her for months all alone and she’s still a Daddy’s girl. Go figure.” There’s no heat in it, no malice of any kind. After two months on the road together, you’re thrilled to see the pair of them still bonding so well.
"She's grumpy because she's yours." Ellie snorts, rolling her eyes and grinning when Joel cuts his eyes at her for a moment before looking back at Caroline. "See? Same grumpy looks."
“Like father, like daughter,” you tease, needling Joel’s arm with one finger.
He rolls his eyes and shuffles Caroline onto his shoulder, rubbing her back softly. “Come on, baby girl. Let’s get you out of the cold and into a clean diaper.” He murmurs. “Then we’ll see if you’ll get some sleep so you aren’t as grumpy as your old man.”
The house that was bestowed upon you is just a little further out from downtown and when the four of you get inside, Caroline’s trusty basket is right where you left it in the living room. “She’ll want to eat when she gets up, but I can manage that.” Managing to breastfeed here and there still works, but it’s good that there have been foods that Joel can feed her, too. “If you put her down, I can take care of her when she wakes up.”
“She had a rough night.” Joel argues softly. Caroline was a little under the weather, so she had been fussy. You had wanted to stay up with her, and now you look ready to drop. “Go take a nap and I’ll get her highness when she wakes up, okay?”
“Thank you, honey.” It’s an easy reflex to brush a kiss on Joel’s lips now, and you offer him a smile before pacing past him to fall into the bed that the two of you share upstairs.
Joel gently lays Caroline down, having a supply of cloth diapers and pins nearby. “Hey, baby girl. We’re gonna get you all clean and dry in just a minute.” He promises, finding it easier than he had imagined to fall back into a routine with taking care of a baby. It was decades ago, but he remembers soothing Sarah’s tears as he fought against diaper rash and colic with her.
“So.” Ellie smirks, leaning against the archway into the living room like the absolute picture of adolescence. “What’re you gonna do for her for Valentine’s Day?”
“Do for her?” Joel snorts, not looking up from his task since Caroline likes to pee on an unsuspecting victim when she’s being changed. “What do you mean?”
“The mother of your damn baby, Miller.” Ellie huffs, also as grumpy as her father figure. “There’s a whole holiday about love and romance and they celebrate it here.”
He frowns, realizing that you might have some kind of expectation given the atmosphere around town. “I’ve never been good at that kind of thing.” He admits.
“You can’t do nothing,” the teen argues, keeping her voice down so she won’t disturb the baby or be heard upstairs.
“Yeah.” He grunts, aware of that now. He has never really had to do Valentine’s Day. Unless you counted getting Sarah those boxed Valentine’s for her classes. “I’ll think of something.”
“What’s Tommy doing?” She might not know much about Joel’s brother, but she knows he has a wife and figures he must have a plan of some kind. “He might have an idea you can steal.”
“Haven’t asked.” Joel shrugs, carefully pinning the new diaper to Caroline with a slight frown.
“Probably should.” But Ellie shrugs. It’s no skin off her nose if the grumpiest old man in the world is bad at romance.
He pauses and looks up at Ellie suspiciously. “Has she said something to you?” He asks seriously.
“No.” If you had, she would have been kicking his ass about it a lot harder and a lot sooner. “But she deserves something nice. For like…putting up with us.”
You do put up with them. He snorts and lifts a brow. “Don’t you mean puts up with you?” He jokes. “She happens to like my grumpy ass just the way it is.”
“All the more reason to be nice.” As if he has proven her point completely, Ellie smirks. “Nice and romantic.”
“What do you know about romance, twerp?” He scoffs and shoots her a grin. “You’re too busy scaring off the girl that is interested in you.”
“S’not my fault your scary rubbed off on me,” she gripes in turn. “And you don’t know she likes me. Shut up.”
“You were scary before I met you, kid.” He chuckles, smirking slightly at the mortified expression on her face. “Maybe you’d find out if you didn’t run her off.” He suggests. “Talk to her.”
“Maybe you shouldn’t run off.” Ellie’s characteristic huff comes with a frown and a whole lot of blustering now that she’s the one being called out and she pushes away from the doorframe with a near-stamp of her feet. “Whatever, old man. I was trying to help you.”
“Yeah, you are.” He acknowledges with a grin. “Imma put her down and then run talk to Tommy. You good with listening out for her? She should sleep the entire time.”
“Fine.” Anything to end the torture, though Ellie does smirk that she might have given Joel a good kick in the ass.
He snorts to himself as he lifts a now sleepy Caroline to his shoulder. Patting her but as he moves over to her downstairs bassinet. It’s was odd, you had carried Caroline in a worn out sling and then luckily found a new one on the way, but supplies and space for them had been so limited, now his daughter has a downstairs sleeping area and one right in the room you share with Joel
******
“Well look what the cat dragged in.” Despite the cold, Tommy is out on his porch when he spots Joel walking up the road, and he leans over the banister with a dash of curiosity in his shit-eating grin. Any time his big brother comes to him for just about anything, he still considers it a win. “Back again so soon?”
“Yeah, yeah.” Joel shoots Tommy a half-hearted glare and shoves his hands in his pockets. “You got a minute?”
“Sure.” Tommy’s head bobs in agreement. “You wanna come in?”
“Maria home?” Joel asks, not quite sure if it’s a good idea. Tommy’s wife doesn’t seem to be his biggest fan and he can only assume it’s because his brother told his wife some of the things that Joel has done to protect the people he cares about over the years.
“Nah.” The younger Miller brother shakes his head and stands on creaky bones to open the door for them. “She’s got meetings today. I don’t pretend to know everything she has to deal with, but she comes home to a warm house and dinner on the table, so I guess I’m doing something right.”
“Well, ain’t you a good little house husband?” Joel snorts, busting his brother’s balls a little. The man had been a pain in his ass hellraiser when he was younger. Before outbreak. It’s nice to see him get to enjoy domesticity once again.
“Hell yes I am.” But Tommy snorts too, knowing it’s a far cry from the kid he used to be. As it turns out, the end of the world and the love of a good woman can change a man. “You think I’m not gonna do everything I can to keep that wife of mine? ‘Course I am.”
Tommy was always the optimist, something that Joel had lost after Sarah’s mother had left. He had been too busy trying to raise her right, and then he lost her. Joel frowns for a second and then nods. “And how are you doing that with this Valentine’s thing?”
“Not as easily as I would have before,” Tommy admits, but that’s also a pretty obvious thing to say. Nothing is as easy as it was before. “That cache of movies they’ve got has plenty to pick from and they’re screening…” He thinks for a second, hard, and shrugs. “Some damn 90s chick flick. I dunno, but she’s excited. And since she’s been eating carrots like a bunny with this pregnancy, I’m makin’ her a whole meal centered around it for dinner.”
“Carrots.” He snorts and smirks at his younger brother. “Your kid is gonna come out and say “what’s up doc?”.” He sniggers, imitating the cartoon character from long ago.
“At this point I wouldn’t be surprised.” It makes Tommy laugh though, and he puts a glass of water in front of Joel before pouring one for himself. “Watcha need?” He asks, raising an eyebrow in curiosity.
“It’s about….” He looks down at the water and says your name. “The kid says I need to do something for her. For putting up with my shit.”
“Smart kid.” But still, Tommy frowns. “Are you…not together? Is that it? Or am I not gettin’ something here?”
“We were together one time.” Joel murmurs. “And we had a kid.” He shakes his head and looks back down at his hands. “Don’t get me wrong, I love the baby. Caroline is sweet and her momma-“ he sighs. “She’s too good for me really, but she wants to be with me.”
“Just one time?” An impressed and slightly disbelieving whistle escapes Tommy’s lips. “Do you…wanna tell me what happened? Or is that topic off limits?”
“You remember that supply run I made right after you left to go out west?” Even though he had been with the Fireflies, Joel had told Tommy his plans, hoping he would come along.
“Sure. You left the day after I did.” That had been the plan at the time, anyway. He can’t be sure that’s when Joel actually left.
“Came across her in an abandoned house.” He smirks slightly as remembers your surprise and his own reaction to your beauty. “Bunked down together for the night.”
“Ah.” The younger of the two men chuckles in acknowledgement. He can very easily see Joel trading sex the way he traded favors and sold drugs. “And she found you again? Afterward?” He guesses.
“She told me where she was from.” Joel explains. “After we got in trouble in the city and lost Bill’s truck, we headed there. Hoping that we could somehow find someone with a car.”
“And maybe hoping to run into her?” He doesn’t believe it happened by accident. That Joel hadn’t been thinking about you when he decided to go to wherever you were from. He knows his brother better than that.
“She had told me she was going west sometime.” He gives a half shrug, but that is why he had chosen to go so far out of his way.
"Cut the bullshit, Joel," Tommy smirks, knowing that his brother's ability to evade admitting to emotion is legendary. He's been like this for most of his life. Since his wife left. And that is what it is. But Tommy knows Joel well enough to know that he doesn't go out of the way for just anyone. "If you don't want to be with her that's one thing, but you protected her and that baby all the way from the east coast."
He could argue that he has an obligation to you because of the baby. Caroline is his daughter, but it’s just delaying the inevitable admittance of wanting to be with you. “So what the fuck do I do for her, Casanova?” He huffs, scowling at his brother and wondering why the fuck he came to him for advice. “She’s too fucking good for me and I know it. All the women in my life have been.”
“Well you’re taking her to the movie, right?” It’s not exactly a common thing to be able to do, and is therefore a pretty damn big special occasion in the world you all live in now. “Even if you didn’t do anything else, you gotta do that.”
“Yeah, I can do that.” Joel likes movies, used to love them back in the days before the world burned. “She likes books, maybe I can try to find her favorite?”
“We made a library in town of all the books that were left in everybody’s houses,” Tommy tells him with a nod. “Same way we got all the movies we screen. If you’ve got a bookworm, I think a library card counts as romantic.”
“That night…” Joel looks down at his hands and smiles slightly at the memory. “She was reading a book to me that was sexy.” He huffs out a chuckle. “Guess she seduced me with her reading abilities.”
"Fell for brains, huh?" That makes his brother chuckle, and Tommy leans back in his seat with a grin. "Maybe you can talk to Jana — the woman who runs the library — and arrange a little date there? Rekindle a little romance?" He's trying to help as best he can, knowing that old chestnuts like taking you out for a fancy dinner or taking a little weekend trip away can't happen with the world the way it is. He could be patronizing and tell Joel to hurry up and make an honest woman of you, but that is also something that's changed in this world. Not everyone feels the need for the formality of a marriage anymore.
“That would be good.” Joel doesn’t sound completely convinced. “Although I’m sure jewelry would be better. Even now.”
With one eyebrow raised, Tommy cocks his head at his brother. “What kind of jewelry were you thinkin?”
“Somethin’ to celebrate Caroline. And give her something pretty.” Joel hadn’t quite thought it through but most women loved the thought of jewelry.
“Earrings? Necklace?” The way Tommy wants to pry is nearly a physical necessity at this point. “Whatever’s in the house you guys have moved into, wrap it up. Consider it our gift to you guys for being part of the town.”
“Was thinking about a necklace but I don’t know.” He frowns slightly. “Maybe a ring?” He looks up at his brother. “You didn’t remove the valuables from the house?”
“What’s jewelry worth in the apocalypse?” It’s something that only had to be worried about in the cities, it seems like. In the places where FEDRA still reigned. In the places where appearances still mattered. “We took the tools, the resources, split them all up evenly or kept them in reserve, depending on what they were. “Whatever water, food, warm clothing, shit like that? That’s what matters. Not jewelry.”
“True.” Joel shakes his head. “See why I’m not good at shit like this?” He huffs. “Too bad I can’t build her a stroller for the baby.”
“I mean I don’t think you would find very good suspension, but we can get you the stuff to build an old fashioned one.” Tommy snaps his fingers in quick succession, thinking hard. “What the fuck were they called? The one from black and white photos? Prambutrators?”
“Prams.” Why Joel knows that, he doesn’t have a clue. But like he was watching an old episode of Jeopardy, the answer falls from his lips easily.
“Strollers, but beds.” There’s a longer word for it, Tommy’s sure of that, but he shrugs it off. “You wanna do that for her? We can make it happen.”
“Might be a good idea.” Joel hums thoughtfully. “Especially since you’re about to have your own kid. “Need some way of transporting them when your back is aching.”
"It'll be a family heirloom," Tommy huffs, amusement makes his smile spread all over again.
Joel snorts and he taps the table. “I want to build it.” He decides. “I can find out about the library card and look for something pretty too. She did give birth to my daughter and took care of her alone until I saw her again.”
"So it'll be a big holiday." That seems to please the younger Miller, and he chuckles quietly. "She's a hell of a woman. And deserves it, if for nothing else than putting up with your ass."
Joel rolls his eyes and sighs softly. “I don’t know how much she puts up with me because of the kid and how much is because she’s insane for wanting me.”
"Oh, she's certifiable." Tommy can't help but laugh at that. "But it's obvious she loves you. For whatever that's worth. You can see it on her face."
He doesn’t see it, but he might still be in that stage of disbelief. “I better get back.” He pushes the chair back and stands with a groan. “Told her I’d get Caroline when she woke up. She had a long night with her last night so she’s taking a nap too.”
"Ellie's with the baby now?" It's obvious to everyone else in the world that Joel has taken in the teenager with the same ferocity that he's taken to his infant. It's who he is.
“Yeah.” He can’t help the soft smirk on his face as he thinks about the two of his three girls. “She’s taken on the role of big sister pretty well.”
"Sometimes you gotta get thrown in the deep end to figure out how to swim." Standing with his brother, Tommy claps Joel on the shoulder. "Go get back to 'em. We'll get your building supplies tomorrow."
“Thanks.” Joel’s shoulders relax slightly and he shakes his head. “Still can’t believe we’re gonna have kids that grow up together.”
“Musta done something right to deserve it,” Tommy laughs, the edge of disbelief in his voice obvious. “Can’t figure out what the fuck it was, but it must’ve been good.”
“I— I never actually congratulated you.” Joel murmurs after a moment. He had been a little raw when he realized Tommy had been living a charmed life here and he had lost so much, Tess, Bill and Frank, another piece of his soul, on his way to rescue him. Then Tommy’s disbelief about Caroline and his own budding joy about fatherhood had brought up the loss of Sarah. It hadn’t been pretty, but he had regretted his harshness. He reaches out a hand, hard from the man he had become and the work he had done, to shake Tommy’s. “I’m happy for you.”
“Thanks.” The handshake, warm and firm and full of things the Miller brothers aren’t very good at saying out loud, makes Tommy falter and clear his throat a little to push away the emotion. “I, uh…I’m doing my best. And that’s all I can do. Because Maria and the baby deserve the world, but the world is pretty fucked up these days.”
“It’s always been fucked up.” Joel corrects. “Now it’s just more obvious.” He lets go of the hand and shuffles slightly.
“Fair enough, I guess.” Tommy chuckles, but he rubs his hand on the back of his neck. “Did you…need anything else?”
Joel shuffles again and feels like a teenager. “Do any - uh, is there birth control available?” He asks, not wanting to get you pregnant again. At least not now. Although that afterthought shocks him.
A sort of lopsided smirk forms on Tommy’s face, and he chuckles — the sentiment clear as day. “The ladies have developed some interesting but not full proof methods. It’s sort of frontier-style out here. In that regard and a lot of others.”
“Yeah.” Joel nods and sighs. “I’m fucking fifty-six years old, Tommy.” He huffs. “Don’t need to be knockin’ her up every time I’m feelin’ frisky.”
“For her sake way more than yours.” Tommy laughs again. “I’d go see the Doc,” he advises. “She was a general practitioner before the world went to shit, so now she’s our town doc.”
Joel nods, knowing that it needs to be done. Tess couldn’t have anymore kids, so it had never been a problem. You’ve only had sex a few times since being in Jackson, and every time, Joel had pulled out the second you had cum so he could jerk off.
“Sounds like you’re planning a damn good Valentine’s Day,” Tommy teases.
He snorts, shrugging slightly and the slight grin on his face is purely male. “I don’t know if I’ve ever been this relaxed. And she’s a damn beautiful woman, who loves me.” He admits, proud of that fact.
“If you’re relaxed with a baby around, that’s proof she’s not your first.” Shaking his head once more, Tommy slaps Joel hard on the shoulder. “Go home to ‘em. I’ll see you tomorrow with the stuff you’ll need to build.”
“Thanks.” He sends Tommy a grateful look and quickly slips out the door. Eager to get back to you, Caroline and Ellie. Even though Jackson is safe, he feels better when you are close.
******
Ellie is sitting beside Caroline’s bassinet in the living room when Joel gets home. Her old, weathered joke book is in her hands and she glances up when the door opens to let Miller inside. “Shhh,” she puts one finger to her lips performatively and whispers. “She’s so fuckin cute when she sleeps.”
“Yes she is.” Joel can agree as he quietly walks over to the bassinet. “She slept the entire time?” He asks the other girl, proud of how easily she’s bonded with her. Despite not like diaper changes, Ellie loves Caroline and would often ask to hold her when you had stopped for the night.
"She fussed a little," Ellie admits, but she holds up her book. "I giggled her off to sleep."
“More like bored her to sleep.” Joel snorts. “You certain she’s still breathing?” He jokes, even though he can see that she is, it’s simply for the pleasure of watching Ellie scowl at him.
"Caroline thinks I'm funny." The teenager defends, though she knows making a baby laugh isn't too hard in the first place. "Even if you don't share our refined sense of humor."
“Yeah.” He huffs and rolls his eyes, resisting the urge to smirk. “Keep telling yourself that, cupcake.”
“Shouldn’t be surprised.” Though it comes with a huff, Ellie keeps her voice down. Caroline is sleeping, after all. “We’re cuter than you, too.”
He shoots Ellie a look that is half amused. “That’s not hard to do.” He admits. “But I’m smarter…..and meaner.”
“You wouldn’t be mean to us.” Ellie bats her eyelashes dramatically, knowing fully fucking well that Joel can be mean. That he has been mean. But never to the baby.
“No, I wouldn’t.” He might have been at one point to the older girl, but now he would die protecting her. “Did you know there’s a library in town?”
“There is?!” Her voice jumps up at that and she immediately ducks as though her volume were some kind of tangible weapon that she needs to get away from the baby immediately. “There is?” She hisses quietly instead.
“Yeah.” Joel chuckles at the way Ellie’s eyes light up. You aren’t the only one with an affinity for reading. “Planning on going over tomorrow to get a card. Wanna come?”
“Hell yes.” The teenager nods with enthusiasm. “Is it a big library?” He must have heard about it from Tommy, which means it’s worth bragging about. Tommy Miller loves to brag about Jackson.
“It’s filling up a store, so it has to be big.” Tommy had told him where to go. “They compiled all the books in town and any they brought in.”
"You're on, old man." Ellie hops up off the sofa, apparently having thought of something either extremely important or just imminently elsewhere that she needs to be. "I hope you're ready to carry books back, cause I'm getting out as many as they'll let me."
“Bring a bag, brat.” He reaches out to swipe her head with his hand, to mess up her ponytail, but she ducks. “Where are you going?” It’s a safety question, even though the town is safe. He still wants to know.
"Upstairs." She assures him. "I'm not leaving after dark."
“Good.” Joel lifts a brow. “Keep it that way. Even though it’s safe here, shit can happen.”
"I know." She agreed to follow Joel's rules, and she meant it. Even if he can be a complete nag sometimes, she knows by now that he is the one person to trust over anybody else in her life. Joel said not to go out after dark, so she doesn't. End of story.
“Thank you.” Joel relaxes slightly and rolls his shoulders back after Ellie agrees to stay close. “Don’t say anything to her about the library card.” He cautions her. “It’s gonna be a surprise.” He hopes you haven't heard about the library yet, but if you have, you haven't had time to get a card or you would have been raving about it.
“Got it.” The teen smirks and heads for the stairs.
Joel rolls his eyes again and looks down at Caroline softly before taking off his jacket and boots. He's comfortable here, and its a surprise to find out how quickly he could readjust back to fatherhood. He takes the soiled diaper from earlier and brings it over to the bucket that you keep them soaking in. Deciding that he will wash them so they can hang dry in the kitchen overnight. Having a baby in a post apocalyptic world is kind of like having one in frontier times, in his opinion. A lot more work, and those conveniences he had taken for granted with Sarah are a thing of the past.
******
It’s been a hell of a long time since you could feel safe enough to nap, but Jackson is unique in that it actually feels safe. When you wake up it’s after dark and the house is quiet — which really just means that Caroline is quiet. Joel and Ellie habitually keep their voices lower and their steps lighter because the instinct of having to stay hidden is so ingrained. The fact that there’s no sound from downstairs now is a good thing. Hopefully Caroline has managed to nap and Joel can do…whatever Joel is doing.
Joel stirs the pot on the stove, throwing together a stew to eat. The leftover vegetables from last year’s growing season were all canned, but he was grateful for them nonetheless. When he hears you on the stairs, he pokes his head out of the kitchen. “Got some tea ready.” He calls out softly.
"You're perfect," you hum with a grateful sigh, stretching languidly on the last step before you hit the bottom floor. The air of domesticity here is deep, in a way that could almost make you forget what the world outside is like. At least for a little while.
“You just love that I’ve learned how to make your tea.” He snorts and leans over to press a kiss to your forehead when you drift by him on the way to the counter for the cup he has set out.
"I'm appreciative." For so, so many things that Joel does. Not being the only person in charge of Caroline's survival and happiness as well as your own has lifted an enormous burden from your shoulders and you can only hope that you have helped him in even a fraction of the same way. "Thank you, honey."
“Of course.” He nods and turns back to the stew. “Figured I’d make some dinner, we still have half a loaf of that oat bread.” He shakes his head. “Amazing how we are actually eating bread….Considering.”
“We’re all eating like hippies,” you joke, leaning in to Joel’s side as he stands at the stove. It’s a comfort just to be close to him, and you’re much closer now than you were even weeks ago. “Anything but wheat flour.”
“That’s true.” He chuckles and reaches around you to snag your waist.
“Thank you for letting me nap.” A perfect rest is one you get to take together, but those were few and far between on the road. Now that you’re in Jackson, being able to sleep next to him every single night is an absolute luxury.
“You’re welcome.” Joel leans in and brushes his nose against your cheek. “You were up with her last night, you deserved to rest.” He reminds you. “I got the diapers washed. They are hanging up on the back porch.”
“What did I ever do to deserve you?” He’s been such a huge help, and even helped you get a better rhythm even in your one-on-one time with Caroline.
“Are you asking or lamenting?” He jokes and pats you on the butt gently. “So I talked to Tommy.” He murmurs. “There’s a doctor in town that we should go see.”
“Are you not feeling well?” Concern is written on your face instantly, eyebrows drawing up in worry.
“No, nothing like that.” He instantly replies, trying to ease your fears. “They have some….methods of birth control.” He feels his own cheeks heating up because of bringing this up. “If you— I mean, if we’re— you know— uh—”
"Oh." He's blushing, and that's just about the most adorable thing you've ever seen. "Then yes. We should definitely go see that doctor."
“I just— I don’t want you to— not if—” he’s never been great with words and he just shrugs after a moment. “I don’t think you should be havin’ another baby right now.” He murmurs. “I know back before everything, they told my….ex, that she should wait at least three years before another baby and fuck- by then I’ll be sixty fuckin’ years old.”
"Honey..." Turning into Joel's side completely, you tip your head back to offer him a smile and put your other arm around his waist to hold him close. "We'll do our best to keep up with effective birth control. We'll be as safe as we can be. Sometimes...sometimes things just happen. We know that. We have the result of that, sleeping in the other room. Family planning doesn't exactly work the way it used to."
“No, it doesn’t.” He leans in and presses his lips to yours. “But I want you to be healthy, not worn out because my pullout game isn’t the best.”
"If it happens again, we'll love them just as much as we love Caroline." You are absolutely certain of that, without hesitation. "And if it doesn't? She's already got one fantastic big sister around to help take care of her, and another big sister that she can hear stories about whenever Daddy is willing to tell them."
“I—” he bites his lip and shakes his head. “It’s been-“ air whooshes out of his lungs. “A long time since I’ve been called that.” Caroline being alive and healthy makes the last time he heard that particular phrase only bittersweet, the ache in his heart still there, but it doesn’t bleed this time. “I still can’t believe I have her some days.”
"We're lucky to have you, Joel." That is something you believe with all of your heart, even on the bad days and the hard days and the days when it all feels like too much. "All three of us."
“Everything changed.” Joel acknowledges. “But I’m glad I could keep the three of you safe. Get you here.” He tilts his head. “Do you know how far we are from your family land?”
"The last I heard from anybody, they were actually on the outskirts of Jackson." Having been too afraid to ask, you've kept it to yourself that you might actually have a family home out here with sentimental things that once belonged to your cousins. "I have the address, but...I assume that since the street isn't part of new Jackson, it must be either wrecked or overgrown."
“Do you want me to ask around?” He asks quietly, squeezing your hip gently. “See if I can get out there?”
"Honestly, if it's still around? I would want to go too. But I don't want to risk taking Caroline out to somewhere dangerous again." You shake your head at that idea, not liking it at all. "Not when she's finally safe again."
“No.” Joel is immediately shaking his head. “Our daughter stays behind the walls.” He insists, voice flat and final. Even though you don’t want to take her out, Joel wouldn’t allow it.
“Never a sentence that I thought I would find comforting, but here we are.” The two of you stand silently for a long moment before you sigh. “I know there’s probably nothing left of them,” you repeat, hating how final that is after everything. “But I’d rather know for sure. There might be a memory or two left in the house.”
“Then we will go.” Joel hates that you haven't found any of your people yet, although they may just not be around much. It’s a vain hope, but he has it for you.
“And we’ll go see the doctor.” That’s a more pressing trip, if you’re honest with yourself. Any birth control at all would be useful, even if it’s only by a little.
“I don’t have to be inside you.” Joel murmurs softly, knowing that as much as he loves your cunt around you, your health is more important.
“There are plenty of ways to be intimate.” With one hand on his chest, you rub small, soothing circles there for a second and kiss his jaw before his lips. “But we’re still going to go see that doctor. I like having sex with you too much to just give it up cold turkey.”
He huffs out a small laugh and he smirks at you. “Got addicted, huh? Even when you sometimes have to ride?”
“Don’t be so smug.” An attempt to frown or even look somewhat stern fails you, though, and you end up throwing a matching smirk back at him. “I…like that we don’t go our separate ways the next morning.”
“You and Caroline, Ellie…” he pulls you closer. “You’re all that matters to me. Keeping you safe.”
Cup of tea and simmer stew pot long forgotten, you turn in Joel’s arms to face him fully and put your arms around his neck. “We love you too, handsome. All of us. In very different ways.”
He grumbles slightly but he doesn’t argue. Knowing that it’s useless to argue with you. “Yeah, yeah.”
You hum, grinning that he doesn’t protest it anymore, and kiss the tip of his nose. “You’re cute when you blush.”
He rolls his eyes and his hands slide down to your ass. “Yeah? You’re cute when you’re naked underneath me and chanting my name over and over again.”
“Joel…” A knot in your belly forms instantly, making you squeeze your thighs together in turn.
He grins at you and winks. “Good thing you took that nap, huh?” He teases softly. “Now you need to eat a good meal to make sure you won’t pass out on me from hunger.”
“This,” you huff, laughing at the way the two of you have just clicked back together so easily over the last few months. “This is why we need that doctor. We’re too horny for our own good.”
“Kind of hard to fuck on the road.” He reminds you with a laugh of his own. “Now we have a bed, a door that locks.”
“And a real mattress and box spring for that old man back of yours.” Not that you don’t appreciate it too, of course. But of the two of you, Joel definitely has more aches and pains.
“Damn right. And the bed is comfortable.” He snorts, remembering that shitty, worn out mattress he had in Boston. “Did I mention that Ellie isn’t sleeping three feet from us?”
“And we don’t have to worry about Caroline rolling or crawling away, or any of a million other things.” The fingers of one of your hands thread into his hair and you hum as you press yourself against him right there in the kitchen. “Of course, there’s also the kitchen counter…”
The way his cock twitches in his pants is a good indication that he had been thinking along those lines too. “Kid’s upstairs, reading.” He grunts, pressing his lips under your ear just like he’s discovered makes you shiver. “Baby’s asleep. If we make it quick, we can do it.”
“I should just stop wearing pants around you,” you tease, already shifting both of you backward so that you’re the one pressed up against the counter. “So we can be as fast as we want.”
“We can always find you some skirts.” He hums, sliding his hands down to your jeans and around the front to unbutton them. “When you’re inside Jackson. I wouldn’t want you to wear them outside the walls.” He says seriously, frowning slightly at what could possibly happen. Clickers or humans.
The soft chuckle that escapes you is a little rougher than usual just because he's shoving your jeans down your hips, but you still shrug your shoulders. "We're horny, not stupid. Skirts are only for when it's safe."
Joel has become a little feral now that your relationship has progressed back to physical. There’s something about you being the mother of his child that seriously gets Joel going. He had never had that since his ex had disappeared out of his and Sarah’s life so early, but he was not upset with the discovery. Your body was softer, marked by motherhood and he found it incredibly sexy. “Then you need to see the doctor.” He growls. “Because I might just bend you over a table every time Caroline naps.”
He barely has your jeans pulled off in time for you to hop up on the counter, legs open for him to fill the space between even as you start to work open the belt he wears day in and day out. Frenzied kisses take up the space where there could be more words, but oxygen is precious when you're doing your damnedest to drown in each other while your baby girl sleeps.
Most intimate moments were rushed, quiet and out in the open. Using his fingers on you to give you pleasure while the girls slept. Because of that, he knows exactly how to touch you to make sure you are wet.
"Joel—" You have to bite back a whine the second his fingers find you, already wet and aching just from talking about sex and not even from him touching you. Hell, kissing him is still enough to make your cunt bottom out and you hope that never changes.
“That’s it, baby.” Joel growls against your neck softly. “Want that pretty pussy nice and wet. You want to cum before I fuck you? Or do you want to cum on my cock?” He swirls his fingers around your clit and then presses them into you to curl up and strike against that spongy spot deep inside near your cervix.
You could protest that there isn’t time for two, but you know Joel would make it happen. He’s learned your body fast, and how to wring pleasure out of you as fast or as slow as he wants to. “O—on you,” you manage to pant out two coherent words and try for a few more. “Want to cum on your cock, Joel. Please?”
“I love when you beg, baby.” He groans, having heard so many people beg him over the years. Often for their lives when there’s no saving them, but this is what he loves. You, begging for him to make you feel good. “You’ll cum on my cock, baby. All over it.”
“Always do.” The way you shift forward on the counter is proof of how eager you are, in case he wasn’t sure. Every time you shift or roll your hips, his fingers stroke that spot again and you have to bite back a moan.
“I know you do.” He grunts, unbuttoning his pants to pull his hard cock out. “Always so good for me.”
It goes back to the first time he called you his good girl, and you know it. That was the moment you called it quits on any resistance whatsoever. “Always. Fuck, always, baby.”
Joel smirks and pumps his cock, listening to make sure that the kid isn't coming downstairs. He doesn't want to scar her, but he doesn't want to wait to get you upstairs. He groans when he has to pull his fingers out of you and hums. "You ready?"
"I don't think there's ever a time when I'm not." You nod enthusiastically, glancing up at the closed door that leads from the kitchen to the living room, and when no sound can be heard from your sleeping daughter you look back to Joel. "Take what you want, baby. I'm just along for the ride."
It only takes a moment to notch himself at your entrance, his lips fused with yours as he starts to push inside you. Loving how tight you immediately squeeze his cock inside your walls.
Every sound you have gets poured into that kiss, muting your moans and whines so they don't echo through the house. In this position the best thing you can do is hang onto the counter and let Joel take what he wants — exactly as you said — and that kiss is another perfect way to stay connected to him as he starts to move.
There’s a perfect rhythmic pace he can keep that doesn’t hurt his back and still keeps your toes curling in their socks. He’s tested it, although he never told you and he uses that pace now. Holding onto your hips as he rocks into you again and again, swallowing your moans greedily as he basks in your utter want of him.
One hand has to move to his shoulder, clutching his shirt as he fucks into you hard enough that it feels like he's stealing your breath but not so hard that you'll end up walking funny and give away what you've been up to. No doubt Ellie has noticed by now, but there's no reason to rub it in. There's just nothing better than basking in Joel's full attention. In being his sole focus. lt's like coming home.
Once he’s broken away from your lips, there’s not a part of your exposed skin that Joel doesn’t kiss. Loving to nibble and kiss along your neck and chest. Inhaling the milky scent of your breasts, heavier since Caroline is due for a feeding when she wakes up. Though he doesn’t touch them, knowing they need to be left alone for his child. “Fuck.”
"So good." With his ear right by your mouth, you can just gasp and sigh right there for only him to hear. "Always fuck me so good."
“This little pussy was made for me.” Joel grunts, loving how you spasm around him when he pours filth into your ears. Sometimes his fingers and words get you off so quickly, he’s amazed you haven’t been worked up all day. “Squeezin’ me so tight.”
"Can't help it," you chuckle low in his ear and have to bite back a gasp when his hips hit yours sharply. "Your cock's just so fucking big.'
He snorts and twitches inside of you at the breathless praise. “You gonna cum for me, pretty girl?” He asks, moving one hand down so he can rub your clit as he thrusts into you.
"'M close, baby." The breathless promise comes on a whine and you have to work to not just let your mouth hang open and Joel's rhythm picks up and the broad pad of one of his thumbs skates over your slick, swollen clit. "So fucking close, oh god."
His teeth snap together, breathing heavily and his face is almost set in a determined frown. Watching you as his hips shuffle forward to fill you again and again. Loving how your body heaves and lurches every time he swipes his fingers over your clit, almost overstimulated - you’re so close. “Be my good girl, baby.” He growls. “Cum for me.”
Whether you’re responding to his praise or to the near overstimulation is anyone’s guess, but it’s only a moment later that your legs start to tense and shake around his waist and your mouth falls open in a silent sob as you come apart for him.
The heat, the pressure around his cock is exquisite as you start to cum. The rush of wetness helps him move when your walls squeeze tight and he loves the nearly non existent sound you make. Taking his hand off your hip, grabbing the back of your neck and dragging your lips back to his as he fucks you through your orgasm.
These are the times — mid orgasm with a foggy brain and no filter for your thoughts — that you wish Internally for another baby. Accident or planned, it doesn’t matter to you. It’s just that flash of a thought as your climax washes over you that you know will subside again but it makes you hold onto his kiss that much tighter. Grateful for what you do have. For him and for Caroline, above all.
He feels your body relax, going boneless as he continues to batter against your fluttering walls. He’s close but he can’t pull out just yet. “Fuck.” He groans. “So pretty when you cum.” The praise is whispered against your lips.
“Just for you,” you promise in a shaky breath, practically gulping down air as the intensity of your orgasm subsides.
“Fuck, I’m gonna cum.” He hisses, regret lacing his tone because he’s having to pull his hips back. Letting go of you and wrapping his hand around his cock as he starts to quickly jerk himself off, the other hand poised to catch the mess so there isn’t a huge cleanup of the counters.
If you could have gotten there quickly, you’d be on your knees to catch every last drop, but you definitely move a little bit slower after he’s just gotten done fucking you — mostly just because your legs are jelly. Instead you watch Joel with dark eyes, satisfied temporarily but always wanting. It’ll be another few hours before he can even think of going again, but that doesn’t mean you won’t daydream about him.
It’s not as satisfying as when he’s buried to the hilt inside, but he can’t risk it, can’t risk you. Clenching his jaw, he hisses slightly as he stops stroking his cock, panting as he looks up at you and leans in to kiss you once more.
“I love you.” Simple words, but loaded with so much emotion that you sigh a little after saying them. “So much, Joel.”
“I love you too.” He promises, pulling back to take his cum filled hand to the sink to wash before he gets a rag for you. “Don’t ever think I don’t.”
“Well it was a little touch and go there while we weren’t anywhere near each other,” you tease, flashing him a grin. “But I don’t anymore. I promise.”
Snorting, Joel rolls his eyes at you and after washing his hands, he soaps up a rag and comes back over to you to clean you up. “Hush.” He grumbles, biting his lip as he spreads your thighs again.
“Never.” Instead your grin widens and you steal another kiss while he cleans you up. Only after that do you carefully hop down from the kitchen counter to pull your clothes back on.
Right as you are buttoning your pants, he hears the first little squawk from Caroline and grins. “I’ll change her.” He tosses the rag into the diaper pail to soak. “Drink your lukewarm tea before you come feed her.” He orders, kissing your temple before he walks out of the kitchen, already buttoned and buckled back up.
“Yes, sir.” There’s not even any point to protesting. You just pick up your tea and admire his ass as he strides out of the room.
Caroline is definitely feeling better, waving her arms and squealing when she sees Joel. The bubbly, happy grin on her adorable face never fails to bolster his spirits, which are always pretty high after being intimate with you. “Just like your momma.” He teases as he picks her up with a grunt. “Always squealing.”
With the door open it isn’t really difficult, but you still lean out from the kitchen and huff just loudly enough for him to hear. “I heard that.” Not that he’s wrong. Not at all.
Joel chuckles, nudging his nose against his daughter’s cheek and listening to her gurgle. “You were supposed to, baby.” He tells you, grinning at Caroline when he pulls back. “You were supposed to.”
******
Joel spends a decent portion of the next few days out of the house, helping Tommy with some vague project that you don't think much of. He had taken Ellie with him once but she has been mainly at home with you. The town is enjoying their preparations for Valentine's Day at the end of the week, and from time to time you've found yourself daydreaming about Joel doing something spontaneously romantic but you aren't expecting anything. It's not as though he can pop into a jewelry store or go down to the sweet shop for chocolates. Even flowers aren't really on the docket these days. It doesn't matter. Not really. All that matters is that he comes home safe every night, and Joel definitely does that.
It had been a pain in the ass, but the pram is finished; even Tommy is impressed with the final product and Joel had used some stuffing from cushions to make a padded layer on the bottom to make it more comfortable for Caroline. It’s got a back that can be adjusted to tilt up for when she’s older and a cover for the sun or rain. Now, he’s just waiting on the varnish to dry and it will be ready.
It’s late morning when he comes back from Tommy’s today, looking as pleased with himself as Joel ever does, and your plan to go down to Jackson’s seamstress to inquire about a skirt or dress goes by the wayside immediately. “Hey handsome.” Out on the porch with Caroline against your chest, you wave to him when you see him approach.
“Hey.” He climbs the steps with only a slight protest from his knees and gives Caroline a quick kiss before letting his own linger on your lips for a moment. “So, they are having a movie tonight for the celebration.” He reminds you, as if that’s not been the topic of the town for days.
“Did you want to go?” He hasn’t mentioned it at all so you wondered if maybe he was ignoring Valentine’s altogether.
“Was thinking that if you wanted to go, we could.” He shrugs one shoulder and shuffles his feet as he reaches into his jacket pocket. “Unless you want to stay home and read.”
“Read what?” You’re looking at his face, not his hands, and it takes an enigmatic smile from Joel before you glance down and see a very official card sitting in his hand. It’s a business card for the old Jackson public library, printed and crisp, but when he flips it over you see your name scrawled there in beautiful cursive and gasp. “What is this?”
“There’s a town library.” Joel explains. “They collected all the books out of the houses and any they brought back from scouting missions.” He smiles. “Thought you might like to go browse and check some out.”
“Honey.” Instantly your arms are around him, squeezing him into your side so you can show him how grateful you are without crushing Caroline between you in the process. “This is incredible. A library? That’s — it’s so sweet of you.” The grin on your face is wide, spreading to overtake you by the second. It might not be just anyone’s perfect Valentine’s gesture, but it’s definitely yours. “Thank you, love.”
He huffs in relief that you aren’t upset at his gesture. “You’re welcome. I knew you would want to read some more.”
“I wonder if they gathered up all the kids' books, too?” More bedtime stories for Caroline would be amazing as she gets older. Right now lullabies still do it when she’s fussy, but you don’t expect that to last much longer.
“I’m sure they have. Which will be amazing for Caroline.” He had read to Sarah from the time she was a baby and wonders if they have some of the books he had read to her. It would be a little tradition to read them to his other daughter.
“Thank you,” you murmur again, leaning against him and pressing a kiss to his cheek before you look down at your daughter. “Can you say thank you Daddy? For being awesome and loving us so, so much?”
“You have to come with me to get the next present.” He snorts, enjoying the way that Caroline automatically coos and waves her arms.
“There’s a next present?” Your head tilts in curiosity and a smile cracks across your face again. “Mr. Miller, you’ve been busy.”
“Not like I can get you flowers or chocolates.” He’s embarrassed by the surprise in your voice and he shrugs.
“You didn’t have to do anything at all. I still know you love me.” The thing about Valentine’s Day is that it has been so surprising to see it revived. It isn’t necessarily as surprising that he is embracing it. Not when he’s working so hard to relieve the sins of his past and whatever happened with Sarah’s mother.
“I know.” He picks up the backpack you had started using as a diaper bag for the baby and glances at you. “You want to carry her? Or do you want me to get our little princess?”
“I’ve got her for now, she’s comfortable.” Sometimes the biggest thing really is her comfort, so you’re not going to disturb your little girl for right now. “Where are we going?”
“Tommy’s workshop.” He picks up her little blanket and throws it over his arm. “Hopefully you like it, it’s more of a practical gift.”
“I’m sure I’ll love it.” If he thought of it? Put care and love into just thinking that you will appreciate it? Then whatever it is will be perfect.
Like all babies and families with babies, it takes a few minutes to get going. The pram should be completely dry, the fans blowing on it and he wonders if you will like to. Sure he could have tried to find one at an abandoned store, but for him, it was about making something. It had been a long time since he had done that and it had felt pretty good.
“Ellie seems like she’s adjusting okay to being back in school.” The walk over to Tommy’s doesn’t take long, and you’re curious to see what he’s been up to with his brother.
“She’s enjoying the school having zero to do with FEDRA.” Joel agrees. “I think she likes the days they take care of the livestock the best. She loves animals.”
"She loves them and she's great with them." Your free hand slips into Joel's while you walk, enjoying the sunny, clear day in spite of the cold. "That's a hell of a valuable skill set in this world. Keeping the livestock happy and healthy is vital."
“Yes it is.” Joel nods. “Tommy and John think they might have gotten that old grist mill working.” He tells you in passing. “The kids are going to have a class on that, come next week.”
"Everything but wheat flour," you joke with a shake of your head. "Although that oat bread was pretty good. John's got a good thing going in that bakery he set up."
“Exactly and there’s a sack of barley seeds they want to plant and make cornmeal.” He has been impressed with Jackson so far and wants to stay here. There’s no reason to go back to Boston and he would never put his daughter under FEDRA control.
Squeezing his hand, you smile up at Joel and cradle Caroline with your other hand. "It's nice here."
“It is.” There are moments where Joel doesn’t trust it, he’s waiting for the other shoe to drop. Waiting for the ugliness to infect Jackson, but he wants this to be a haven, for you and Ellie and Caroline. Especially for Caroline. He wants her to be able to grow up without being exposed to the rawness of the outside world as much as possible. To give her a chance at normalcy. “You want to stay, sweetheart?” He asks quietly.
"I can't imagine any place being better for us." On your chest, Caroline is looking around her with the characteristic wonder of an infant, and you grin and place a kiss on her little tuft of hair. "Your brother is here, there's reliable shelter and food. Ellie is safe to the point where she's enjoying school. It's...I'm not going to call it perfect but it feels like spitting in the face of the universe if we just walk away."
“I feel like the other shoe is going to drop, but it’s also the most relaxed I’ve been in years.” Joel admits. “I’ve- there’s more to worry about than me. And I’ve worried a lot since Lake City.” He had tried to hide the panic attacks, but you had seen signs of them. “I think we should stay.”
"You're entitled to worry." It's just a quiet reminder, but it's important that Joel remember that he has permission to feel whatever way he feels about things. Having a family and being a protector in this environment is a stressful thing. "But you're also entitled to be happy."
“That’s the hard part of this to swallow.” Joel admits, squeezing your hand gently. “It’s alright, baby. I want to stay, if you do.”
"If not for us, then for the girls." That's really the key here, and you pick up his hand to press a kiss to the back of it. "I would follow you anywhere. But they deserve whatever childhood we can give them."
“Yes they do.” The door to Tommy’s shop is just up ahead and he smiles slightly. “Hopefully this next gift will help that. At least for one of them.”
"What did you do?" At this point you're too curious not to feel bubbly about it, and you desperately wish the younger Miller brother's workshop had good windows.
“You’ll see.” He chuckles at your curiosity and lets go of your hand so he can open the door. “After you.”
"Come on, baby," you murmur to Caroline, grinning as you duck into the workshop.
Sitting in the middle of the space is a beautifully put together and obviously handmade perambulator, with a padded cloth bottom and a sun visor that...seems to be moveable as well as handcrafted. "Oh my god..." you breathe, stepping into the room further and bending over the pram with tears in your eyes. "Baby...did you make this?"
“I know I could probably find one, somewhere…” Joel can’t tell if you love it or hate it, so he shuffles slightly. “But I wanted to build one that you could use for a long time.”
"Honey, it's beautiful!" The tears in your eyes are pure love and gratitude, and you backtrack immediately to give him a kiss before going to inspect the pram that he put together with his own two hands. "It—it's incredible. You...how long did this take you?"
“It’s what I’ve been working on this week.” Joel explains, walking over to it to show you the shade and how it can flip down to become a basket to put things in.
"I can't believe you did this." There is such a wonder in your voice. Awe and love, and shock that anyone would put this much work into such an enormous gesture.
“Figured she was going to get too busy and too fidgety to haul around on your chest all the time.” He tells you. “Plus it can sit up when she’s really moving.”
"Do you want to see what Daddy made you, honey?" Caroline keeps reaching for the pram like she knows it's hers, and you look to Joel hopefully. "Is it ready for her to try out?"
“Yeah.” He holds up her blanket. “Figured you want a cover on her since she’s not right up against you.”
"It's perfect," you murmur again. Unwrapping her from your chest is a careful process, but soon a squirming little girl is ready to be set down in her very first pram and she giggles with glee just as soon as you lay her blanket over her. "Daddy made you the perfect little pram so we can push you around and let you see town without having to be attached to my chest the whole time."
“Tommy helped too.” Joel admits, pleased that you seem thrilled with the pram. “He wants to make one for Maria now.”
"Brand new family heirlooms." It's a magical and unexpected gesture, that you reach down to tickle Caroline's belly and can't resist kissing Joel, as well. "This kind of puts my Valentine's surprise to shame, babe."
“No it doesn’t.” Joel immediately frowns and shakes his head. “You don’t have to do anything for me.”
"You didn't have to do anything for me, either." With a grin, you lean over and kiss his cheek again while Caroline looks around her pram in wonder. "I went to see the doc the other day." He's been busy — apparently building you a damn stroller with his own two hands — so you had taken it upon yourself to go in the meantime.
“Yeah?” Joel’s eyes widen slightly and he looks Caroline in her pram to you. “And?”
"And." He looks like he might jump up and down from excitement, and you can't help but laugh. "She had a diaphragm for me."
He frowns and tries to remember what the hell that is. It’s been a long time since he’s talked about birth control in depth. “That- that’s that thing that goes inside you before sex, right?”
“Right.” Another giggle escapes you, and you lean into his side. “It’s not full proof, but it’s something.”
“Yeah.” Joel knows that no birth control is perfect, but he feels better with that. “Do you still want to have me pull out?” He asks seriously.
“Is it irresponsible to say no?” You just want to feel him completely, but you’ll understand if he declines. You’ve already brought one baby into the world, the idea was to prevent two. “It’s your decision, love. All I care about is getting to be close to you.”
“I say we keep track of your cycle like you normally do.” Joel murmurs. “I’ll pull out when you’re ovulating.”
“In that case.” The grin on your face turns absolutely devilish. “No need to pull out tonight.”
Joel blows out a loud breath and reaches down to adjust himself. “That’s the best fuckin’ Valentine’s you could ever give me.”
“I thought you might like it.” Compared to what he’s done? It’s barely anything at all. But the chance to be as close to each other as possible is something you’ve both been craving as you’ve realized the depth of feelings you have.
“Love it.” Joel growls, reaching for you to pull you close and press his lips to yours for a quick and harsh kiss.
“Love it a lot. Got it.” You melt against him and bury your face in his chest, glad to be held in his arms for even a few moments at a time. “We’ll have some grown up time after the movie tonight?”
"Already asked Ellie if she would mind the bassinet being in her room." He tells you with a grin. "Bottles ready."
“Scheming!” You erupt into giggles, cheeks burning hot and desire starting to ache in your core. “You have been scheming.”— Today at 8:02 PM
"I have been scheming." He admits shamelessly. "And there's one more thing that I have to give you."Today at 8:07 PM
“Joel.” A pout comes with a tilt of your head and you shake it immediately. “Baby, no. You’ve already done so much.”Today at 8:12 PM
"This is something from me....for you." He promises softly. "I wanted to give you something that shows you how much I love you." He swallows. "Do you want it now, or do you want me to - you know, make it romantic?" Today at 8:25 PM
“I want you to do whatever will make you happiest.” Another soft kiss between you makes you melt that much more. “I’ll love it no matter what.”day at 8:33 PM
"I kind of want to give it to you now, before I lose the damn thing." Joel admits with a huff of amusement, reaching into his pocket and pulling out a faded velvet box.at 8:42 PM
“What…?” It may be a long while since the last time you walked into a jewelry store, but you still remember what a ring box looks like as your eyes flick between the box and Joel. “Honey?”day at 8:52
"It's- do you know how fucking hard it was to remember birthstones?" He snorts, shaking his head. "I wanted to get you something that had meaning. That's symbolic of how we came together."
He holds it out to you a little more surely and you realize your hands are shaking a little when you reach to open it. The ring inside has been cleaned, it's shining in the dim sunlight streaming into the workshop and the tears spill over immediately. "You—you figured out Caroline's birthstone?" It had never occurred to you to even try to think of what it would be, although you did figure out what her zodiac was while holding her one night right after she was born. y at 9:13 PM
"Yeah." He looks down at the ring and smiles. "There was a book in the library." He admits, not wanting you to think he was some kind of genius. "You told me when she was born, and I'm never gonna forget that." He bites his lip. "I was thinking you could wear it like an engagement ring or whatever, if you want."y at 9:18 PM
"Are you saying you want me to wear it like an engagement ring, or that I can think of it that way if I want to?" Slipping the ring out of the box, it's obvious immediately that it will fit you pretty perfectly and you wonder if Joel tried to do any sneaky measuring of your ring finger while you were sleeping or something like that.t 9:21 PM
He bites his lip and resists the urge to fold his arms over his chest. "I want- it's kind of up to you, baby." He reminds you. "I should ask you though, right?" He's talking to himself, rolling his eyes at how he is bungling it up. "Do you want to get married? If they do weddings here?"9:29 PM
If you were going to tease him, you would remind him that his brother and Maria got married. That there is something like marriage here in Jackson, even without the way weddings were in the past. And the end of the world, marriage is about a commitment between people. Not about a thousand dollar dress or haggling over the guest list. And honestly? That is the way you would have wanted it even back then. "Yes," you nod, that smile spreading back across your face as you hold your shaky hand out to him. "Yes, I absolutely do."35 PM
Joel takes the hint, carefully pulling the ring from the box and taking your hand gently to push the ring onto your finger. "It fits." He sighs out in relief. "Tying a string around your finger to measure it worked." He looks up into your eyes with a grin. "How do you like it?"t 9:41 PM
"It's perfect." Wrapping your arms around his neck, you press into his space and let yourself just breathe him in. Grateful for the coincidence that brought you together, for the accident that has sealed your connection, and for the love that has bound you. "I love you."
“I love you too, baby.” Joel vows softly, pressing his lips to yours. “Happy Valentine’s Day.”
______
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theminecraftbee · 7 months
Text
Jimmy notices Scott sitting near the edge of the Ace Race launch. They’re both on the practice server; it’s a good place to hang out. Gets away from the kinds of lives they live elsewhere, even if Jimmy figures the one he’s got right now is good enough. Scott’s here a lot, Jimmy’s found; it’s probably some combination of whatever the weird messenger thing he has going on with Noxite is and the number of other lives he’s lived. Jimmy bets it’s just quieter here than, like, he doesn’t know, he’s heard something about pirates?
Anyway, he’s always down to say hi to Scott. Also, Scott looks—strange. Diminished feels rude. Not preening like a peacock? No weird ethereal glow? It can’t be that the romance has worn off, it never really did, not all the way, Jimmy’s always seen him as sort of made of lace and marble and beautiful things from the beginning and even now that they’re like, friends friends, it’s just—
Jimmy plants himself in the grass. He can’t find a poppy, but he can find a dandelion. Close enough?
“Flower for your thoughts?” he says cheerfully.
Scott looks up. He laughs. “You can’t be doing that, Jimmy. We’ll get double-married. I already have too many husbands, you can’t be on there twice.”
“I think I can marry my flower husband as many times as I want,” Jimmy says.
“We barely even do a romance anymore.”
“Well, excuse you for not being a romantic.”
“Me? I’m not the romantic? Me?” Scott says incredulously.
“Well I don’t know how it would be me,” Jimmy says imperiously. He pauses, huffs, and sits down next to Scott. “I mean, we can do romance if you want. Hadn’t done that the last few lives because, you know, work better as friends right now, but I can totally wow you. I can, uh. Uh. Make… chocolate? No, I can’t do that, actually, don’t hold me to that—”
Jimmy pauses.
“Scott,” he says.
“No, keep going,” Scott says weakly.
“Have I done something wrong?” Jimmy asks.
“No, no, it’s just—sort of being a messenger god, I get a feel for things, and—it’s gonna happen again soon, Jimmy.”
“Oh, okay,” Jimmy says. They both know what they’re talking about. “I’m absolutely gonna win this time, just so you know.” He says it with all the false bravado of a person who’s mostly just hoping he doesn’t die first again. This time, this time, this time. He’ll do it by his own merits, though; he’s not sure what he would have done if Joel had actually gone through with the halting plan to die for him that he’d told Jimmy about last time. Probably crowed on happily about it, honestly, but with needles in his stomach the whole time.
Scott hasn’t responded yet.
“You don’t have to worry. You’re way too good at this. Constant finalist, now that you don’t have me weighing you down,” Jimmy tries.
“I shouldn’t talk about this with you,” Scott says.
“Rude,” Jimmy says. “We’re husbands at least twice over.”
“Yeah, but do you ever regret it? Don’t you—don’t you regret it?” Scott bursts out. “Don’t you ever wake up and—and you weren’t good enough to protect them and you’re not good enough to be loyal to and frankly you aren’t good enough to follow the rules either and, and so you’re just constantly winning. And you aren’t trying and you just think, if you’d just—if you’d just fucking slowed down, figured out how to protect—this is stupid. I’m proud of Martyn. Got him to win, at least. I can’t regret him winning. I wouldn’t have wanted anything else. I never have. Forget I said anything.”
Jimmy stares.
“I don’t regret it,” he says, and he’s surprised to realize he’s telling the truth.
“Not even for all the mocking?” Scott says.
“I mean. Wouldn’t have teamed with Grian and Joel if…”
“Oh,” Scott says. He stares out over the practice server. Jimmy cannot guess what’s going on in his head. No matter how many lives they’re friends, husbands, lovers both star-crossed and casual, enemies, and friends again in, Jimmy has to admit, Scott’s kind of a closed book. It’s one of the character flaws he has to make up for being perfect at everything else.
It’s part of what makes him Scott.
“I don’t regret it,” Jimmy says, almost more urgently.
“Oh,” Scott says again. “I do.”
Jimmy’s not sure what to say to that.
He’s never been good enough at winning much of anything to understand that kind of regret, is the thing. Blessing, curse, whatever else, he just…
“Sorry. I’ll be better tomorrow. Not normally the kind of person for this stuff,” Scott says. “It’s not that I’m not confident, it’s just…”
That, though. That, Jimmy can understand.
He scoots closer to Scott.
“Let’s race. I’ll totally beat you so badly. I was watching CPK do skips. And, I don’t know about you, but…”
“Yeah, you’ll hit those in your dreams,” Scott says. Neither of them move to stand up, though. They remain sitting shoulder-to-shoulder, watching other participants jump off the launch. It’s nice here. Quiet. A place apart from all the lives they live. Jimmy wonders if that’s why Scott’s here so much. Jimmy might have to show up too; that’s what increasingly old friends are for, he figures.
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hotchswifey · 7 months
Text
insomnia - dean winchester x reader
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(this is the first thing i have written in about 2 years 😭😭😭😭
it kinda sucks but i like it
warnings: insomnia (i am aware that any sleep disorders cannot be cured by another person and i do not mean to take away from people who suffer from these conditions, this was just a cute little idea i had), a little angst?? (just about how much deans life sucks.), fluff, cuddling, overthinking, thinking badly about yourself (ur thoughts can be mean but ur lovely and brilliant <3333)
also i have a hc that dean goes really silent when he's tired, except he can't go silent around most people bc then they start to think something is really wrong™, but actually he is just too exhausted to try to talk (self-projection? maybe.)
word count: 2373)
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You rubbed at your tired eyes, walking into the bunker’s kitchen, your eyes adjusting to the light that definitely shouldn’t have been on - considering it was 3.32am. Your eyes fell on Dean, who was hunched over the island counter eating cereal. ‘Should’ve figured it was him who couldn’t sleep, too’, you thought. As bad as your sleeping habits had gotten, you always marvelled at Dean’s capability to be a functioning human with so little sleep.
He had noticed you as soon as you stepped foot in the room, but he did nothing to acknowledge your presence. Figures. You reasoned that the poor guy’s probably slept twice in the last week. You didn’t address him either; whether it was sleep deprivation or knowing he wanted to be left alone, you didn’t know. You just went to grab yourself a bowl of cereal. 
It was quiet (except for the sound of pouring milk and Dean’s chewing), but it was comfortable. It gave you some peace knowing you weren’t the only one who couldn’t sleep - something so simple yet far out of your reach. You didn’t know when it happened (your inability to sleep), but ‘it comes with the life,’ you supposed. You grabbed your bowl and left Dean to ponder on his own.
---------------------------------------------------
You rubbed at your tired eyes again. The same routine - lay in bed for hours, eventually get up because you’re hungry, head to the kitchen and find the light on. Again and again, this happened - Dean always sat there. It had become a funny thing kind of (in an unhealthy, oh-my-god-i-just-want-to-sleep-but-i-guess-it’s-nice-to-see-dean type of way). 
He didn’t acknowledge you, you didn’t acknowledge him, you poured your cereal to the sound of Dean chewing and went back to your room to eat. You wished he would invite you to sit down, even if you both ate silently. It was nice not to be alone at night, overthinking every gruesome and terrible thing to come. But you knew it was Dean, and he definitely needed some peace, quiet, and alone time (and this was the most alone time he willingly gave himself). 
You ate back in your room, not sleeping for yet another night.
---------------------------------------------------
You and the boys had just got back from a vamp hunt. Sore, tired and, frankly, pissed off. The hunt was fine, you all supposed. But, god, it takes a lot to completely decapitate somebody. Your energy was all drained, and the only thing you wanted to do was sleep - but could you? No. Of course, you couldn’t. Why? A thunderstorm? Fireworks? Gunshots? No. Because your brain hates you. God forbid you get an ounce of sleep.
Your routine ensued again, more sluggish this time and certainly more pissed. All you wanted to do was behead a few vamps and sleep it off, but no. Of course not. Try to sleep, fail to sleep, get up and haul your ass to the kitchen, pour cereal, eat cereal. How did your life become so dull?
The lights are on again. You think, ‘There is no way in all hell Dean is awake. That boy put himself through more physical torment you could ever even dream of (not that you’d want to)’. You weren’t too shocked when, even after today, you saw Dean sitting there.
It wasn’t a surprise that Dean Winchester (saviour of the world, the perfect killer) was still awake, even after killing eight vamps single-handedly (but from how he was sitting, you were sure he’d hurt his back on the hunt). Dean. Again. In the kitchen. Not sleeping.
You didn’t know why, but it pissed you off more than it should have. 
“Why are you still up?” You asked, walking past the island to the cereal cupboard. No response. Of course. You rolled your eyes, fishing out the box of lucky charms you reserved for awful days. You caught Dean’s eye as you turned around to get a bowl. 
He might’ve been the strongest man you knew physically and mentally, but he looked so tired. More tired than you had ever seen him. More tired now than after ending the apocalypse or returning from purgatory. How could he look so exhausted after one vamp hunt? You thought about it for a second, only now realising how many times you had gotten up and he had been in the kitchen. Every time you got up, he was in the kitchen. What are the chances that when you can’t sleep, neither can he? Or was it more likely he wasn’t sleeping at all?
If you were being truthful, the strongest man you knew looked like hell. He looked like a little boy who couldn’t sleep because he had a nightmare and wanted his mom. Except he wasn’t a little boy, he was living through the nightmare and had no one to turn to when things got bad.
You had felt pity for Dean before (how could you not, the man has quite literally been to hell and back), but this was a different kind of pity. This was the kind of pity that only came when things were terrible. When you realise this was how it had to be, how it would be, forever. The kind of pity that came when you realised you couldn’t do anything about it. You felt useless looking at him in his dressing gown, hunched over the counter.
He was the world’s saviour, and you had to assume that came with consequences - like not sleeping.
You didn’t say anything. Your anger had dissipated into sadness - sadness for being unable to help your friend. There was nothing you could say or do. There was nothing at all. You stared at him, and he stared back, and that was it. You went about your night - pour the cereal, return to your room, and not sleep.
---------------------------------------------------
Another day. Another hunt. Another sleepless night.
You considered buying the strongest sleeping pills and calling it a day. But you knew you couldn’t. Dean would haul your ass out for another hunt tomorrow, and he’d be pissed if you were fast asleep.
‘He should take some sleeping pills’, you thought. Maybe he would actually be remotely okay then.
Not fall asleep, get up, walk to the kitchen, see Dean, not acknowledge each other, get your cereal and leave. Again and again. You may have liked it, though. Just that little bit of routine in your hectic lives. Even if it was a bad routine.
You poured your cereal, your back to Dean, in complete silence. It was nice. Comfortable.
You picked up your spoon, ready to head back to bed, and turned around to find Dean already looking at you. You paused on the spot, unsure as to why he was staring. He didn’t stop when you noticed him. He looked as tired as ever. The sight of him, looking exhausted, with a bowl of cereal and beer, was heartbreaking. It physically hurts to look at.
He looked at you, and you looked back. Silent. Again. You wish you knew what to say, but what could you say? ‘Hey, Dean. You look like shit.’ You were sure you looked just as bad.
The sudden eye contact didn’t end. You both are not blinking, not moving, simply just looking. It was like you were communicating telepathically, just understanding each other and the hell you were both going through. This life was bad enough with sleep.
He didn’t say anything when you moved to sit down next to him, he didn’t say anything when you began to eat your (soggy) cereal, and he didn’t say anything when you finished eating. He just drank his beer and ate his cereal wordlessly. He said nothing when you sat there for 5… 10… 15… 20 minutes. Not one word.
You wanted to know what was going on in his head so badly. You wanted to know how you could help if you could help. But Dean doesn’t share his problems. You knew that, Sam knew that Cas knew that- everybody in the damn world knew that.
You sat and sat and sat silently. Half an hour passed, then an hour, then two… before you knew it, Sam was walking in- tired and grumpy. The sun had risen (not that you could see it), and a new day had started.
“You look like shit, dude”, Dean said to Sam, who promptly rolled his eyes.
---------------------------------------------------
This time, when you couldn’t sleep, you didn’t go to the kitchen. You just laid there. Unmoving. You’re sleep-deprived mind was overthinking everything- what if you fucked up on that hunt 3 years ago, and Sam and Dean still hate you to this day? What if Sam hates you? What if Dean hates you? What if Dean is so fucking sick of you interrupting his nightly cereal time? You were a victim of your mind- your thoughts and inability to sleep. 
Ugh. You were so hungry. But, right now, your brain was convincing you you were single-handedly Dean’s biggest annoyance right now (if Dean could read your thoughts right now, he would be calling you his biggest idiot).
A knock on your door startled you more than it should’ve (considering you had been hunting for quite a while at this point).
A knock. At (you looked over to your alarm clock) 3:34am. ‘Why is Sam awake at this time? Why’s he knocking on my door?’ you thought. ‘It can’t be Dean. I’ve done nothing but piss him off for the last month. You squint your eyes preemptively as you reach over to turn on the lamp by your bed and get up. The floor was cold under your feet, and your body was exhausted from the lack of sleep. You reached towards the doorknob, preparing to see Sam. 
Sam. Who was definitely not at the door. Because Dean was standing there, in boxers and a white t-shirt, holding 2 bowls of cereal, looking as tired as you felt. Huh.
He looked at you silently, extending one bowl towards yourself. You took it hesitantly, staring at him, confused. He didn’t react. He didn’t say a word. Just lifted his bowl to eat his cereal. You moved to give Dean the option to come in. It was like a silent agreement had happened between you. Cereal and silence.
He walked in and sat on your bed; you closed your door and joined him. Wordless. Silent.
Maybe, you weren’t annoying him. Perhaps, he enjoyed this as much as you did. Maybe. Maybe.
Ten minutes passed, and you finished your cereal and leaned over to put it on the mahogany desk. ‘The Men of Letters enjoyed a frivolous life, huh. Who needs a mahogany desk?’ You thought, trying to distract yourself from your overactive mind. Dean moved over to do the same, leaning into you whilst he did. 
He didn’t seem to lean away from you after that. He didn’t seem to move at all. He just sat close as you both stared at the wall, unblinking. God, you were tired. You just wanted to sleep. You felt like your body was going to shut down any day now.
“You should get some sleep,” Dean’s groggy voice came out of nowhere. It surprised you, him actually talking. 
“Yeah, I’m trying,” you replied. Hell, you were trying. You were trying so hard, you just needed to-. Dean moved before you could finish your thought, standing up and moving to the top of the bed, pulling back the dishevelled sheets. He laid down in the bed, propping his head onto his hands.
“Are you just going to stand there?”
You moved to join him in the tiny twin bed. He pulled back the covers to let you in. You weren’t too sure what to do with yourself, then. You sat there with your knees to your chin, shoulders hunched. He had invited himself into your bed, and you felt like you were invading HIS space. Why were you still overthinking this? Why were you still thinking he didn’t want you here? Obviously, he did! 
His arm wrapped around your shoulders before you could think anymore. You looked over at him, his green eyes reflective in the lamplight, and he looked back at you. Wordless. You gave him a small smile and moved to lie down. He joined you, his arm still wrapped around your shoulder. You debated whether you should lean against his chest but decided not to overthink it and just do it. You were sick of overthinking every little thing.
His other arm wrapped around your waist, yours wrapped around his. This was good. He was good. Nothing was exchanged between you; there wasn’t a need for words. You both knew this was what you two needed- each other. Dean had never really been alone (whether it was Sam, Cas, or Benny), and he needed somebody there to remind him that everything was okay. You were okay- sleep-deprived and needing a new career, but okay. 
Your eyes were shutting before you could help it. Dean’s steady heartbeat in your ear and arms around your body calmed you. It was almost funny how quickly you were falling asleep now. Months and months of sleepless nights, and all it took was Dean to be here, holding you. You wished you could enjoy it more (not knowing if this would happen again), but you were so goddamn tired. 
---------------------------------------------------
You awoke the following day to repeated knocks on your door and Sam’s voice shouting your name. Damnit Sam. He opened your door before you even had the chance to fully wake up.
“Have you seen Dea- oh.”
The man in question was fast asleep, his arms still wrapped around you, your legs tangled together. You looked towards Sam as he mouthed a quick ‘sorry’ and left hurriedly. You were surprised it didn’t wake Dean. A pin drop could wake him up. You looked over at him, admiring how peaceful he looked. It was simple. Simple and nice and sort of domestic. Or as domestic as a hunter’s life can be.
You leaned against his chest, his arms tightening around you, falling back asleep.
You two had a different routine from then on- if either couldn’t sleep, you would find each other.
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strniohoeee · 3 months
Note
oooo okay what i'm boutta request may sound crazy but
could you do a fluffy fic where it's all in matt's pov and he has a huge crush on the reader and he's so anxious around her and nick puts it together that matt is in love with the reader and one day they're hanging and matt's nervous around the reader and the reader is worried and asks matt what wrong and like after being so scared and shy matt blurts out he's in love with the reader and has been for a while and it turns out reader is in love with matt too and boom they kiss and become boyfriend and girlfriend
Dreaming
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Pairing: Matt Sturniolo X Female Reader
Synopsis: Plagued by the constant nervousness Y/N makes Matt feel he takes to his journal. Afraid that his feelings are one sided he keeps it quiet until Y/N confronts him 📝
Warnings⚠️: None, kinda short??? I hope you enjoy tho🤞🏽
Song for the imagine: Ivy- Frank Ocean
I thought that I was dreaming
When you said you loved me
The start of nothin
I had no chance to prepare
Matt’s POV
Entry #14
Writing this down seems embarrassing because this isn’t something I do, but I have no one to talk to. I think that I’m falling in love? No! I know I’m in love, but does she love me back is the million dollar question.
I don’t crush on girls often, but when a girl is as gorgeous as Y/N how can I not? Everything about her draws me to her….like a moth to a flame. An ache comes to my heart everytime I see her because she’s so close yet so far away.
I was never shy around a girl I liked, but there’s something about her….I can’t explain it. Her dark intense eyes, her soft face, her gorgeous smile, her nails always perfectly shaped. Long but not too long just enough to capture someone’s gaze. The way she’d blink faster and bite her pointer finger nail when she was thinking hard about something.
Her ring clattered fingers, like ice to my skin when she’d grab my arm to tell me something. I mean her laugh…..always covering her mouth because she hated the face she’d make as she let laughter erupt from her chest.
She was always laughing too and it made me smile just to hear the joy come out of her. I’m not really sure when I started to like her, but it just happened. One day her looks and her touches made me nervous. It was a gradual liking that suddenly hit me like a ton of bricks.
She’s also our best friend, so admitting my feelings to her seems a bit dicey. I was never given any notion that she liked me more than a friend, unless she’s good at hiding it. I can’t fathom losing her as a friend because of my stupid feelings.
I guess time will tell…
-Matt
“Matt what the fuck are you doing?” Nick says barging into my room. Causing me to slam my book shut and snap my head up at him
“Nothing. I’m writing” I said placing the book on my lap
“We’ve been calling your name for a while….Y/N thought you weren’t here or anything” he said laughing
“Y/N’s here?” I asked my eyebrows perking up
“Uh yeah” he said furrowing his brows at me
“And she was looking for me?” I asked scratching the back of my neck
“Well we were all looking for you….What's going on?” Nick asked looking at me sideways
“Nothing nothings going on” I said shaking my head
“Okayyy then” he said raising his eyebrows
I threw my book on the bed and stood up stretching and patting Nick on the shoulder
“I’ll be in living room” I replied walking out my bedroom door
Unbeknown to Matt his journal had propped open on his bed. Showcasing the entry he just wrote, and Nick raised his eyebrows. Truly enticed by what he was writing
“Nick this is wrong” the boy said to himself
He trotted over to the bed and shook his head…thinking he shouldn’t, but he couldn’t help himself. Matt was acting weird lately and he figured the reason would be within these pages.
Looking over to see if anyone was near the door he let a breath of air out as he grabbed the book and looked down.
His eyes popping out of his head at what he was reading. Holy shit? My brother is in love with our best friend? He thought to himself
The way he described her had Nick's eyes scanning the page rapidly looking for more. How did Y/N not realize how head over heels this kid was for her….
But then he thought and things started to add up. Nervous around Y/N randomly, avoiding eye contact, getting embarrassed easily, catching him stare at Y/N always….
He knew it! All along Nick knew that his brother had a thing for Y/N, and he feels kind of dumb that it took him this long to realize why his brother was acting so weird.
Nick shut the book and placed it back on the bed. His heart racing with this new information that he was not supposed to know about.
Matt’s POV
Y/N had come over for our monthly movie night. Since our friendship started one night every month we binge watched all types of movies.
Y/N called it her stay relevant with current pop culture night. I just think she liked movies and needed a good excuse to keep us seated for hours on end.
Before playing our first movie we decided to eat dinner. Chris offered to cook and we all scurried away from the kitchen. Opting for McDonald’s instead.
“What movies are you planning for tonight?” Chris asked Y/N
“I’m not sure I think we should start with something sad and then build our way up to scary and then romance and then comedy” she said taking a sip of her drink
“What’s your idea of sad?” Nick asked her
“Now I wouldn’t say it’s sad, but it seems alt and creepy and it has a deep message” she began to say
“You’re such a weirdo” Chris said cutting her off
“Hey! Let her say the movie” I butt in sticking my hand out to stop Chris
“Thanks Matt, it’s requiem for a dream” she said looking at me
“Never heard of it” Nick said
“Yeah me neither” Chris replied
“Well it’s about drug addicts who are trying to find ways to get their next high, but it all starts to go wrong and it’s supposedly really good” she said getting excited
We all kind of looked at her. Me enticed and Nick and Chris bored
“Nick and Chris are looking at me like I’m crazy, but how about you Matt?” She asked looking over at me
“Hmm?” I replied looking at her
“The movie? Want to watch it?” She asked
“Uhh yeah, sure” I said smiling at her
“See! This is why you’re my favorite” he said leaning over and hugging me while laughing
Instantly her touch made me stiffen up. I was becoming nervous and my voice was straining far from me. All I could do was offer a pat to her arm and a smile.
Her eyebrows furrow at this and I mentally smack myself in the head. What the fuck was that? I thought
We cleaned up our wrappers and headed back to the couch
“Matt sit by me?” Y/N asked me patting the empty spot next to her
“Okay” I blurted out nervously
I sat down next to her, stiff like a board might I add. Not really letting my body touch hers as my breathing began to quicken in my chest.
Everything about this situation was making me so fucking nervous. How she mindlessly situated herself, often brushing her leg or hand against me and offering soft “sorries” to which I replied with a shake to my head.
We began the movie and it was actually very interesting. Keeping my eyes locked in the whole time, and scratching my head at the plot.
However I kept noticing Y/N glancing over at me. Making me swallow thickly as anxiety crept up the back of my neck.
She wasn’t even doing anything and my body was reacting. My leg started to shake and I mindlessly started to bite the inside of my lip.
“Hey you okay?” Y/N leaned over and whispered in my ear
“Yeah yeah I’m okay” I replied quickly glancing at her
“You seem a bit on edge today” she said back
“What? Me? No” I replied a bit confused
“Well okay” she said sitting back against the couch
What the fuck was I doing? The anxiety is becoming too much. I decided to stand up and head outside for a breeze and to clear my mind.
Nick had watched Matt walk outside, furrowing his brows and looking over at Y/N who’s eyes had followed where Matt was going.
A smile grew on nicks face and he began to speak
“I think you should see what’s wrong with him” Nick said to Y/N
“He seemed a bit on edge I don’t want to make him mad” she replied looking over at the boy
“No he’s just got some things on his mind I think you talking to him would be better than one of us” he replied to her
She nodded her head and offered him a small smile.
She got up and headed outside
Matt’s POV
I sat on a lawn chair looking at the trees moving in the breeze. My thoughts interrupted when I heard the creak of the back door
“Matt?” I heard from behind me
“Yeah?” I replied looking over my shoulder
“What’s wrong? You seem off” she said sitting next to me
“Nothings wrong I promise” I replied smiling at her
“You’re lying” she said staring blankly at me
“Okay fine….just a bit of anxiety is all” I replied
“That was the half truth…what’s really going on” she said rolling her eyes at me
“You wouldn’t get it” I replied looking back at the trees
“Matt, come on. We tell each other everything” she says groaning
“But this I want to keep to myself” I said rubbing my eyes
“But if it’s making you anxious you should just say it” she said back to me
“I don’t know how to say it” I said turning and looking at her
“Oh sure you do come on” she said egging me on
“It’s just I am so madly in love with you, and I have been for a while. And I don’t know that you feel the same way and I can’t risk losing a friendship over this. But everytime I see you it’s like my body is on fire and my chest aches for you. Everything about you is gorgeous and amazing and I can’t help myself from falling more and more each day” I blurted out
“Matt….I….I like you so much. And I thought the lingering touches and the glances would give you an idea. But I figured I was creeping you out” she said laughing a bit
“No. You were making me nervous” I replied laughing too
Without a second thought Y/N pressed her lips to mine, and at first it took me by surprise. But then my right hand laid on her cheek as I pressed my lips against hers.
This kiss was better than I could have ever imagined. It was like we were made for each other. Her soft lips made my skin melt as the stars aligned above us.
I pulled away and looked at her before smiling at her
“Can I….can I be your boyfriend?” I asked smiling at her
“Yes Matt! 100 times yes” she replied before crashing her lips to mine again
A beautiful kiss under the clear night sky…just like a movie<3
The End
HIIIIII hope yall enjoyed this one🥹🖤🖤 I got many more requests to pump out, so stay tuned! Love yall dearly 🤭🖤🖤
-J💅🏽
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coral-melon · 4 months
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Tangled Nightmare!
Obey me! Brothers x Curly!MC (reader)
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Genre: Crack/shenanigans, Fluff; slightly suggestive?
No pronouns said but probably AFAB
Hopefully isn’t too OOC ._ .🤞
Summary: Your hair is being impossible and you need help detangling your hair. This is for my hella curly hair peeps! Kinda slightly self-indulgent too.. but my other peeps are more than welcome to imagine themselves here!
You’ve been procrastinating over when you felt like washing and do your hair. Under normal circumstances, you do your hair once a week. You kinda skipped it though, saying it didn’t look bad at all — which it wasn’t, why even take the life out of it when it could last a bit longer? It’s been 3 weeks…
Today was the day you were ready to do your hair! Your take out your brushes, washing and styling products. You got everything ready to just be in a happy, productive mood. What could possibly go wrong?
-Dun dun- your hair was impossible! You wash and put plenty of conditioner but your brush just wouldn’t go through! Your arms were tired and your hands were getting cramps; you’ve been at it for a while and tried many things, but nothing! You were on the verge of giving up and going bald, but you go to your last resort, getting another pair of hands and eyes. So you summon your boyfriend!
Lucifer
This man was busy buried in his yet again endless mountains of paperwork. He was so close to just drowning himself in demonus to get by at this point..
But suddenly, he hears your call and the dreadful scene was changed when he was summoned… to the bathroom?
He then sees you, peeking through the shower curtains, bawling your eyes out. He was about to scold you for calling him at such a busy hour, but the thought was kicked right out the window at the sight of seeing your tearful eyes. He keeps his composure though; he needs to understand the situation at hand, after all.
— “My dear, what happens?” He asks as he got closer to you.
— “Lucifer, please help me! I’m on the verge of shaving it all off!” You say after taking a deep breath.
He’s a bit confused at first, but when you reveal the utter mess you had on your head, he understood what you were so frantic about; but at the same time, he was still dumbfounded. He clears throat, and asks you what you need him to do.
You wouldn’t be able to tell that he’s actively stressing on the inside, he’s graceful at everything he does even if he doesn’t have the slightest clue of what he’s doing.
He couldn’t help his mind to.. slightly wonder off. You had sat down on the bathtub with your back facing him, told him how he could pull your hair as much as he wanted.. as long as it detangled the knots, of course!
He had always been infatuated with your curls, but this experience gave him an insight of just how much effort you put into making it look how it always does.
This was also quite satisfying to him, it destressed him to the point where he almost forgot about the work that was still waiting for him at his office.. And for you, it felt like a heavenly massage.. he’ll check you every now to make sure you’re alright.
It took a while, but him being him, everything worked out in the end! Your curls finally softened and ever so defined✨
You thank him profusely, saying that you wouldn’t know what you’d do with yourself it it weren’t for him.
But he simply looked at you with a sinister gentle smile and darkened eyes..
— "I presume that you already know this means that you have a great price to pay for taking up my time, correct..? I suggest you don't keep me waiting for long."
Mammon
Your summon was literally a blessing, he was in a bit of a tight spot with some witches and you saved him in the nick of time!
— “Mammon, you gotta help me!” So I guess it’s only fair he helped you too..
You explain to him what’s going on in a frantic state, would ask you to go to a hair salon, but you starting crying about how expensive that would be. 100% understands and doesn’t question it any farther. So he tries to calm you down, saying he gots this!
— “Ha! Don’cha even worry about it! The great Mammon’s gonna handle this; no problem!✨💪��”
His confidence gave you reassurance and put you at ease, you were finally saved! He’d be decent at it, it’s not as unbearable at all and would be soothing to the point of falling soundly asleep.. if he wasn’t so on and off about it!
You’d eventually learn that he just couldn’t help but get distracted by your naked body. Your back facing him, fully exposed to him.. And your hair was just perfect.. ack! Nono! None of that right now! If he could, he’d worship you.
He’d be like: Lord have mercy.. We must stay focused, bothers! We must. Stay focused!
Fell in love with you over and over again every time he passed the brush through you hair. Watching intently how your hair curled so beautifully..
Every now and then, the thought of selling a bit of your hair also came to mind. But quickly gets rid of the idea; you worked how to maintain it, you’d kill him if he chopped it!
Overall, pretty nice and bonding experience. Later thinks about how he wants you to do the same for him.. But he could never admit that out loud!
Feels all high and mighty when you thank him! Of course you should be grateful to him; He took the time out of his busy schedule to help you out and everything! …Kinda forgetting the fact that he would’ve been roasted by witches if it weren’t for you.
— “Hmph, nothin’ I couldn’t handle! Though that’s gonna cost ya a hefty pri—! Oi wait wait! I’m jokin, I’m jokin!… Half joking..”
Leviathan
He was in the middle of choosing a spot to proudly display he’s latest figure collection. But that was soon interrupted when he was summoned to the bathroom.
You call for him as you peek through the shower curtain, motioning him to come closer. He freezes for a moment, until he finally realizes that his in the same room as you while you’re naked.
Proceeds to do that Finn scream*
— “Levi. Levi! Do not freak out, cuz I’m freaking out; and we can’t have two people freaking out! It just doesn’t work. You’re the only one that can help me!” You say, trying to have him not run out on you.
After some back and forth bickering and convincing, you finally managed to get him the courage he needed to help you out!
Don’t look at him though; especially not in the eyes, he’ll simply die.💀
He’s face will be completely red the whole time, you would think he’d pass out at some point… don’t get me wrong, he did — almost. You give him an idea to summon something that’ll splash him with cold water whenever he started to wobble.
In his head, there’s two voices: the one that’s been constantly screaming, and the one that is pretty much worshiping every time he strokes you hair.
Oh, Lemme give you some hope. -Ahem-🎤Don’t be fooled though! This guy does cosplay, therefore knows to do hair. Prove me otherwise!
Knows exactly how to deal with knots without ruining the hair, so at least it wasn’t painful! Your hair is far too sacred for him to mess up!
Once he finishes, there’s a short moment where he feels so proud of himself. But whatever was gripping onto the thin strand keeping his soul together breaks after you gave him a wide smile and thanked him for saving you!
— [ERROR] Levichan.exe does not compute.
Satan
He was getting mad over something, though he himself didn’t know what it was. So he was gonna go destress by flipping Lucifer off but you suddenly summonsed him.
He sensed you were frustrated before he could even see you. So it didn’t come as a surprise when you peeked through while gripping the shower curtains and heated tears in your eyes.
— “What happened, sweetheart?”
— “I’m this close to going apeshit and ripping my hair out.. Please help me!”
Doesn’t know how to handle curly hair, of course. But he’s willing to try. After all, He can’t just leave you like that! Your hair is like a work of art to him, so he wouldn’t want you shaving it off in a pit of rage! You got lucky this time, Lucifer..
Welp, he found a new coping mechanism! This was like a puzzle for him to solve, one that would also make you happy and him quite quite satisfied in the end. That was enough for him to get him going.
He was firm with how he handled you tangled hair, but in a good way. He did his best to not pull too hard and hurt you accidentally.
Keeps it respectful. But~ I do imagine his hands would go through your scalp and gently pulls on the roots of your hair in a very teasing manner. Will play dumb if you ask about it. ((Ever seen that hair pull massage video? Yeah, that))
And/Or, will play with your hair a bit like cats do when they’re massaging their paws onto something soft.
All in all, you’ll feel like you’ve ascended into a new level of lightheadedness with how at ease you head feel. Whatever headache you had a moment ago is long gone!
He comes to appreciate your hair a lot more after this; he’s a blond with short straight hair, so he didn’t fully grasp just how much work it actually is to maintain you hair.. See? A work of art!
He’s already thinking of the next time he could do this. Like I said before, this was his new coping mechanism and I don’t think you can’t do anything about it once he made up his mind.
— “You should let me do this again the next time you wash your hair, it was a very pleasing experience..”
Asmodeous
While in the middle of choosing what perfume and lipstick to where to the day, he could already sense beauty troubles before you could even think about summoning him.
When your call beckons him to come, he is ready. You peek through the curtains with tearful eyes, too embarrassed to really want to show him the mess that happened but not really having a choice at this point.
— “Love, Don’t even say a word! Asmo’s here to help~♡”
Gets immediately to work! He already had his hair products ready. You would think it’s kinda unnecessary to have as many products as he had on hand, but why even question it?
And ooh, how flawless he was.. You felt like you were at a spa with how at ease you felt. You could hear him cry out every now and then, saying how awfully tangled your hair was. But not once did you feel any pain.
But when he isn’t crying, he talks to you like hairstylists do at a hair salon. He tells you about some gossip he heard at Majolish and some products he’s planning on sharing with you. He asks you some questions and all in all, have a good time together. It’s honestly very fun!
By the end of it all, you’ve never felt more replenished. Your curls look the liveliest they’ve ever been, and you hadn’t even added your hair products or defused it!
He finished way quicker than what you would’ve taken. You probably still would’ve been only have way after all this time.
He’ll be fawning over you and saying how obsessed he is about your curls. ..but might start getting touchy since he hadn’t during that whole time. Which is kinda surprising he lasted this long.
— “Why don’t we go straight to my room? I’d love to try some hairstyles and new products on you!… Oh, no need to put clothes on, hon~ ;)”
Beelzebub
He was in the middle of doing some warmups before starting his regular workout routines. So imagine his surprise when he suddenly ends up in the bathroom.
But what surprised him even more was you peeking through the shower curtain, barely being able to hold your tears of frustration. Though you can’t stay feeling that way for long when you have a big fella worrying and asking you what’s wrong.
— “I need another pair of hands and eyes.. Could you help me out?” You say and laugh sheepishly.
— “Y-Yeah, sure! Just tell me what do to..”
The last thing he expected was to do your hair and has no experience whatsoever. But he’s washed and bushed Belphie’s hair before, so how hard can it be?
You two really need to stop underestimating the situation.💀👍
Has no idea what he’s doing but he will be so gentle! He also apologizes softly every time he pulls and brushes your hair, which is quite often.
His hands went through your hair so nicely, massaging your scalp and often playing with your hair. Your hair is so pretty..! So pretty.. it looks good… very good..
— “Beel, do not eat my hair!”
— “Oh, right. Sorry..”
But, I mean come on! Based on his logic, Your hair looks and feels so good.. it even smells amazing! So why wouldn’t it taste good too? It’s very tempting👀✨ if you want a speedy haircut, he’s your guy!
Very good at following directions, and appreciates that you tell him to divide your hair into sections to that it’s easier for him to detangle the knots. He makes sure to ask if it hurts or if you’re doing alright.
Also very respectful! Keeps his eyes where he should be putting them, doesn’t touch you where he shouldn’t and doesn’t make the situation weird; he would never want to make you feel uncomfortable. Though you can see that there’s a soft hint of blush decorating his cheeks..
This ends up being the most unique workout for him, one that required a hella amount of delicacy and patience. And self control.
You thank him for helping you out, joking about how you would’ve just shaved it all off if you couldn’t do it. He’s just happy that your happy.
*Growl..* “Oh, I’m starving now. I’ll head toward the kitchen so come join me when you’re done, okay?”
Belphegor
Obviously sleeping in some who knows where corner in the most uncomfortable position imaginable. Your summon kinda saves him from that.
This guy was dumbfounded when you asked him to help you with your hair. Like, don’t you know him?? He hasn’t even brushed his own hair this week, you think he can handle your hair?!
— “Belphie, Please! I can’t just ask someone else!”
— “Go to the hair salon or something!”
— “Don’t you know how expensive that is?? They’ll charge me a shit ton!”
He can’t refuse you when you’re this distressed about what’s going on. So he’ll reluctantly agree to help you, but doesn’t promise to do a good job. Will ask again if you’re sure you want him to help you; ..oh well, your decision.
Decides that the best course of action..! Is to look it up in DevilTube. Ain’t no way this mans knows what he’s doing.
There’s a 75% chance you’ll end up worse than when how you started. His movements are so stiff, and awkward, way too rough for your scalp, and all in all, just ass.
Will sarcastically tell you to just leave it like that, it’ll work fine as a pillow. That, of course, is not an option.
He’ll also play with your hair, making a bubble tower; and if possible? Make shapes with your hair. I’m telling you, your hair will get a lot worse with him ;—;
But lo and behold, if a miracle happens and somehow managed to detangle it? You’ll never skip a week of your hair routine. This horrible learning experience taught you that routines are very important or else all hell will break lose.
He never exercise, so imagine how how numb and exhausted his arms will feel after this?? Got to learn where you get most of your strength from even if you don’t look strong.. will want to make you just as exhausted as he feel. Do with that information what you will.
Moral of the story, don’t ask Belphie to help you. You’re better off doing it yourself!👍
— *huff, huff* “Your hair must be one of hell’s miserable wonders.. *Pant* You owe me a long cuddle session after this..!”
End
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My magic wouldn’t work on Belphie’s dialogue.. ;-;
But Oh god, I had so much fun with this! I could stop laughing at some of them when I kept imagining them in my head. So I hope you too also had a good laugh when reading this! ^^⸝⸝
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icedmatchatae · 1 year
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Please Teach Me? | JJK
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Pairing: Frat President Jungkook x Succubus Reader
Genre: Smut, Fluff??, Comedy (enjoy my annoying humor)
Summary: You’re a succubus who doesn’t know a thing or two on luring men, and it doesn’t help that your first task in training is to get the most egotistical fuck boy in the human realm in bed, Beta Tau Sigma president Jeon Jungkook.
Warning: Uhhh where do I start? We’re going on an adventure! Seokjin is the best :D, Second hand embarrassment from our dear OC, OC is kinda ditz but smart at the same time???, also forgets she’s a demon and is confused 999.6969% of the time, Dom Sadist Jungkook (he’s so mean in a good way)/ Masochist Succubus Reader, sir kink, size kink (OC is fun size and a rag doll), dirty talk, degrading/threats lol not really, praising, her wings and tail are sensitive ;-), multiple orgasms (too many to count haha), oral (m and f receiving), tail sucking?? LOL, fingering, wing/tail play hahahah, face slapping, pussy slapping, ass slapping, spitting djdjdjdj, dumbification, unprotected sex (she’s literally a succubus, and you’re not so be safe), creampies
Word count: 18.1k
A/N: I wanna say pwp but there was a plot lol I’m not good with that. I also suck because this one-shot was TOO LONG WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME GHEROGHEOGE why the fuck did I make the smut so long ;-; also I guess this could be part of Halloween LOL
I've also cross-posted this originally on AO3 as well! Enjoy~~~
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This was complete and utter bullshit.
There was no way this was supposed to be your first assigned task. Don’t the highers have pity on you?
Well, no, not really. They don’t show as many emotions as you did, yet they were relieved you even made it somewhere in the training program. But this was an outrage for you as you scanned the file sent to your dorm.
Your burgundy wings fluttered furiously while your matching-colored tail stayed straight up due to how uncomfortable you were. You scratched your head in frustration and even accidentally hitting your little horns before letting out a loud whine. You pushed through your dorm room and flew straight to your mentor with the same file that affected your being.
Some of your cohorts watched you and your high-pitched cries, being the famous failure who finally obtained her first assignment after like, what, five years?
Let’s get one thing straight—you were a succubus…in training. 
Okay, so before a succubus goes out to the realms and devours men through sexual activities on their own, they must train and understand the ways of the succubi. Succubi must learn how to lure and attract men, use their bodies in a way that is ultimately captivating to anyone of the eye, and be confident in the art of how the demons perform. During the training process, succubi take exams and complete tasks, and each has their own mentor that passes them or not. It’s kind of like school where grades don’t matter, and if you complete it well, you pass. If you don’t pass, you must repeat the same task on another subject.
In typical folklore, succubi performed sexual activities while men slept. But through training, it eases the demons into this last task until they are full-fledged succubus ready to destroy mankind.
You, unfortunately, knew nothing about anything, really. You weren’t the best learner as is. You also can’t comprehend that well until someone, i.e., your mentor, yelled at you. Throwing the profession you have for eternity, it may be a little challenging to get by. You already failed an exam or three, and you burned half of your mentor all because you simply couldn’t learn how to attract and lure men into bed. 
Luckily, your mentor decided to give you some practice rounds to fully comprehend the works and information. But every round, he’d comment on how rather than turning men on, you’ll leave them immensely uncomfortable or left with a burn.
You were held back, as the standard training for succubi was at least a year and a half, depending on how determined you were. Most of the demons you started with completed training ages ago, leaving you behind. While they’re out and about 69-ing men snoring their dicks off, you were busy trying to pass the pre-exam before going into the field.
Lo and behold, you finally passed and couldn’t be happier. You wanted to be a good succubus and prove to the highers and your mentor that you are worthy of being a sex demon. 
But how can you when you are assigned a difficult task for the first time?
“Seokjin!” You burst into your mentor’s office with teary eyes and a pout like no other. You sniffled as you found him unbothered, standing. His dick was out and hardened as he examined it through his large gold-framed mirror on the wall behind his desk. You couldn’t care about his actions as incubus and succubus were comfortable showing and performing their bodies. You were all sex demons, for fuck’s sake.
“What is it, ___? I’m scrutinizing my cock. By the way, does it look extra curved today?” Seokjin tore his eyes away from his reflection to finally look at his distraught mentee.
“No, it doesn’t! It looks more pointed and the trunk looks like it gained another ripple, but that’s not why I’m here!” You sobbed out in anger as you flew to slam the file on the surface of his desk. “Explain!”
Seokjin rolled his eyes before tucking himself back into his pants. He grabbed the file and flaunted it in front of your stressed face. “Ugh, ___…”
“Why would you give me this? I can’t do this task! It’s way too hard!”
“You’re not letting me speak and—”
“I barely passed my exam. You, of all demons, should know my performance is not as excelled and up to par to face this subject.“ You didn’t even let him explain, and you went on with your rant as you were hovering all over his space. “And—”
“Yes, emphasis on barely but you still passed with a 69%, which by the way, I would give you some extra credit if you did it on purpose but you didn’t so…” He cuts you off to clarify your argument. “Just be glad you don’t need to take that exam again after your fourth time!”
“Hey, it was number five. If you’re my mentor, at least remember the stats.” You corrected him as you wiped the tears off your face. You stuck out your tongue at him, making him do the same. “But my first task can’t be this one! It’s way too hard. Why can’t I get someone easier, like a gamer or a sweet and caring one? Why the fuck does this have to be this one? “
Your mentor pinched the bridge of his nose and exhaled exhaustingly. He assumed you were going to comply with his decision. Still, alas, you weren’t because you always bitched and whined about everything he did. It made sense because everything was out of your comfort zone, and he knew. “Your choices were limited since everyone else in your year already completed theirs years ago.” He explained, though knowing you won’t fully grasp that, he added, “It was either this one or a heinous wicked bastard who mistreats women, which I still don’t understand why they give first years that option. You could get hurt, and Lilith should deal with him.”
For some reason, your bothered appearance became relaxed yet shifted into a more shy demeanor. Eventually, you gently landed on your feet, resting your wings and tail. You raised your head to face him. He was much taller and bigger than you, and so was everyone else. “B-but, I can’t. I’ll—“
“No, shh. Don’t say you’ll fuck up. Have faith—wait, have hope in yourself.” He pinched your horns lightly, helping you alleviate your frantic self. He knew you weren’t as confident in your ability. Hell, you even confided in him after your second failed exam, talking about how you felt you were lacking sex appeal, any attractiveness, your features, and your short stature that was well below average than any demon living. You even flashed your breasts at him as you complained they weren’t as big.
Seokjin never saw a succubus like you. You were the complete opposite to all things of your kind. Without your sharp horns, bat-like wings, and slithering dark tail with the end tip shaped like a heart, you could be mistaken as an angel. It was confusing and left him uncomfortable at times. But nevertheless, you were still a succubus.
“There’s a reason why the Seokjin, well-known incubus across the realms who is handsome, stunning, intelligent, funny, handsome, creative, extraordinary, handsome…did I say handsome?”
“Get on with your poorly executed speech.”
“There’s a reason why I’m your mentor.”
“Yeah, you were forced to after like three repeals.”
“Well, yes. But after I forced myself to get to know you, I realized you have much potential as a succubus, more than any demon I met. You’re absolutely gorgeous—almost as gorgeous as me—you’re also one of the most kind succubus I know and you’re very authentic.”
“Aww, thanks Jin. I appreciate you.”
“Of course, you’re still a bit of an airhead and awkward. You are wayyyy too obvious when you fuck up—“
“I take it back.” You spoke out.
“The point is you can do it. It’s literally what you are. This training is just prep for you despite all the technical things.” He reassured me and passed back the file to you. “After this, you can do whatever the hell you want.”
Though you were a bit at ease, you were still unconfident. “But how will I—”
“Remember what I said. “
“Your breasts aren’t what defines you? Every guy is obsessed with any titty?”
Your mentor raised his eyebrow, questioning why you remembered that so vividly. You merely blinked, waiting for his response. “Well, yes? But in this context, not that. Remember what your motto should be.”
“Men are simple-minded and easy?”
“Exactly.”
-
Your task was simple: you needed to get your subject in bed and fuck him. But what made it difficult was the subject himself, because he was a man—a human man. And you were a bit afraid of them. You heard some stuff from other demons saying how unhinged they were to the point where there were many instances that succubi got hurt and poorly bruised despite the supernatural strength demons conveyed.
Anyways, your subject goes by the name Jeon Jungkook. He was a fraternity president of Beta Tau Sigma, and through your findings, he was known to be a “fuck boy?”—whatever that was. He slept with many counterparts in college and broke hearts along the way. He excelled in academics and also came from a pretty well-off family. He was also in sports, soccer, and baseball.
That was it from the file because Seokjin redacted the rest by burning it away, including his personality, type, and interests. He did it as “a learning curve” for you to get more experience on your first task. You were about to bitch, but he interrupted you, saying you’ll have a little trip away from the demon realm.
You were still going to complain, but again, he reassured me that communication between you two would still be here.
There were photos of this Jeon Jungkook. He looked like someone who hurt you physically, emotionally, and mentally. Nonetheless, he was pretty attractive and appealing to your demon eyes. His body was muscular and ripped from his neck to his Achilles tendons. There was one of him shirtless and fucking hell, many dents and veins popping out, especially within his arms and hands. Speaking of his arms, his right one was fully decorated with tattoos. He had multiple piercings on his ears and a lip ring on his face.
Seokjin was kind enough to show you subtler pictures of him smiling and laughing which was actually cute to you. It relieved your nervousness in this task. This man was a real piece of work, yet you still knew nothing about him because you had to work for it, and you had no idea how to start—thanks, Seokjin…
Though you needed heavy guidance, you refused to ask your mentor; otherwise, he’d force you to say a statement that was not wholly true before assisting you.
So here you were: Posing as a student in the human realm on the university campus. You hid your wings and tail to look the part, which was unbearable because they were sealed inside your skin and cramped up. You wore a yellow sundress with a pair of cute little block heels while carrying a beige backpack around your surroundings.
People were on the grass in groups sleeping, studying, or talking amongst themselves, others were walking to get to classes, and some were rowdy and playing. You assumed this is typical human behavior, more so college students.
You felt out of place—no shit—this was definitely new territory you’re on. At the very least, you knew how to get around quickly, but that didn’t mean it’d be socially acceptable.
Your electronic device, which was called a phone, buzzed in your dress pocket. You pulled it out and saw that it was Seokjin called.
Once you answered, he greeted, “Hello, my lovely ___. How are you? I assume you arrived on campus. Please tell me you’re wearing something skimpy.”
“Jin, I’m uncomfortable—”
“That’s how I usually felt when you practiced—”
“I’m unfortunately not wearing anything skimpy because I’m uncomfortable—”
“Boo!!!”
“Will you shut the fuck up?” You spat back as you groaned. “Anyways, I’m here and I don’t know where to start. And before you speak, I refuse to say it because that’s literally power abuse and you’re my mentor! You should be guiding me regardless!”
“Okay, okay, fine! Don’t get your cherry printed panties in a twist. Just trying to relax you.“
“You’re no—wait, how do you know I’m wearing cherries?”
Ignoring your question, he continued on with some help. “Before you went, I was kind enough to give you some information. Inside your backpack, I placed a folder in there that has Jeon’s class and practice schedule. There are some new pointers that I had redacted previously, which I kinda regret now since you’re practically clueless.”
“Whose fault is that?”
“You! I practically have to scream at you to get shit into your little head!” He screamed. “I put who he associates with, i.e. his friends, frat members.” While he further explained himself, you quickly found an empty table and sat down as you retrieved what was in the backpack. You read off the papers and scrutinized the pictures given—by the way, also attractive men surrounding him.
“You haven’t given me his interests or personality.” You questioned though you spoke as a statement.
“Even though it was my plan to not show you everything, the highers thought it was best to not give it to you.” He replied as carefully and slowly as possible. Before you could yell at him, he beat you to it. “___, come on and understand. You know nothing on how to lure men seductively. They and I thought it was the perfect way possible for you. You’d be working closely with the dude and knowing your way around a human man. If you fuck up, you fuck up but at least you know next time what to do.”
You sighed, giving up on the notion. “Okay… I’ll try.”
“That’s the spirit! Plus, you won’t die.” He encouraged you. “___, it’s a very simple task. Just fuck him.”
“I know it’s just fucking him! You don’t think I want to?” You yelled but realized where you were. You looked around and spotted a couple of groups staring at you curiously. Trying to ignore the eyes, you returned to your conversation. “I’m just scared, okay? It’s my first time.”
“It’s okay to be scared. I was like that before.”
You snorted, “Really?” Judging by the way he carried himself, scared was definitely not it.
“Well, no. I was a fucking pro, but the thing I’m getting at is that it’s natural how you feel. But you shouldn’t. You’re gonna unlock something in you that you’ve never seen before. I can promise you that.” He countered, trying his best to keep you hopeful. “I’ll be calling you or if you need urgency, just mind communicate me. You got this. You’re a pretty succubus. There’s no way human men would deny you.”
“Okay, I understand.” You nodded. You checked the time and saw it was close to when Jungkook’s schedule started. “I think I need to go to his first class, so I’ll call you later.”
“Good luck, I believe in you!” He gave you one last pep talk. “I’ll give you a little cheat, just for that! He likes the naive ones.”
“What? What does that mean?” You asked, not getting anything from that.
“Exactly, little succubus.”
-
You walked into the lecture hall—shit, this was huge. How could you possibly learn anything with hundreds of people here? Anyways, this was a folklore and mythology literature class but not like it matters.
Your eyes scanned the students, searching for Jungkook, but you couldn’t see him. It didn’t help that you were short as fuck, having to tip toe and scan the crowd. It also didn’t that you were blocking the entranceway and people didn’t see you there, so you were pushed down by accident and fell to the ground on your knees and hands.
“Whoa didn’t see there, you little troll.” You heard a voice from behind, followed by a roar of deep laughter.
“Hey! How dare you call me a—” You turned your body around to face the culprit and gazed up at three figures, smirking at each other.
It was him, with two of his best friends at each side—from what you remembered, they were Jimin and Namjoon. They were wearing matching jackets with you assumed their frat symbols on them, slapping palms with one another. Holy hell, they all looked so good you wanted to eat metal and scratch rust. It made you more nervous about your task, knowing they looked like that in real life. Right off the bat, you noticed how these are some cocky men by their expression and behavior, but they were the type where you enjoyed seeing it more and still say thank you for it.
My goodness, Jungkook was hot. It frightened you because how were you going to get him in bed? Willingly? He looked like his standards were through the roof.
Distracted by your thoughts, you don’t notice how they all turned to face you and cocked their eyebrows up at seeing you. A cute little thing like you staring up with your big dark Bambi eyes with an adorable pout, wearing a dress while on your knees. The combination made two of the side men weak to your oblivion.
“Oops, sorry, gorgeous.” Jimin…yeah, that one, spoke. He reached out his hand for you to use to get up, which you timidly accepted, but you didn’t dare look at him. You were blanking out.
“Thank you.” You said softly, patting down your clothes.
“Hey, what’s yo—” He couldn’t finish his sentence as you zoomed out of the classroom.
Unfortunately, you bumped into another person and fell to the ground again, to which you mumbled sorry and used your super speed to evacuate the premises.
Yup, this was gonna be difficult for you.
-
“What the fuck do you mean you escaped? Why?” Seokjin yelled through the phone during what humans call their lunchtime. You were alone in the school cafeteria with a triangular food with red meat and cheese. You didn’t know what it was, but you refused to ask, so now you were stuck with it.
After the class or two you skipped, Seokjin called you for updates. Of course, what you explained disappointed him. You couldn’t get mad this time, it was your fault, and you reacted way worse than you imagined.
“I panicked! Okay?” You groaned, stabbing a fork into the human food. “I fell down and saw him, and I didn’t know what to do, so I just left.”
“___, that’s not what you’re supposed to do.” Your mentor sighed. “I let this one slide, but you gotta get with the program and complete your task.”
“I understand.” You frowned as your eyes wandered at those around you until you reached your target. He was amongst his friends laughing and throwing things at one another, but what was interesting this time was that he had a woman sitting on his lap, nuzzling her nose into his neck. You watched as she whispered something to his ear, making him grin cheekily before he spoke something. “I see him.”
“What’s he doing right now?” Seokjin wondered curiously.
“I think he’s with his friends? I see the other two from before, but there’s more…, and a lady is sitting on him.” You stated your observation, then, out of nowhere, they began making out in front of everyone. “They’re tonguing one another. Should I be worried?”
“No, you shouldn’t. You’re a demon.” He clarified. “Again, he’s a fuck boy. He gets around, so this is probably victim number 090197.”
“Jin, you should have seen him!” You mourned. “He looks like I could never get to him, like he has a standard.”
“___, as a fuck boy, he has no standard.” He tried his best to hold back on his snappy remarks because he knew you needed as much support as required. “Little one, it’s your nerves talking. It’ll be easy for you! You’re much more powerful than those…those human men.”
You continued to keep your eyes on him as those tongues between him and the girl pushed down their throats. Why did the woman make it look so easy? You don’t know why it was so difficult for you. You were literally a succubus! A sex demon! You feed off sex. It’s not like you were clueless, having experienced it from time to time, especially with that one warlock back in Wennale. What was his name again? Taehyung? Then again, this was your first human.
“Little one, don’t you wanna pass?”
“I do! I do so badly.” You cried, although there were no tears in sight. “I just—I just need some time. I have no confidence whatsoever.”
“I’m slightly disappointed when you have me as your mentor.”
“Please, you insult me all the time.”
“Yes, I do and it should only be me. You have no right to insult yourself, okay?”
“Okay.” You grumbled, and Seokjin didn’t like that.
“No, come on! You gotta be more pumped than that! Okay?” He shouted louder, letting his pitch get higher.
“Okay!” You chuckled, feeling better about yourself.
“That’s the spirit! That’s my mentee!”
“Yeah, I’m your mentee!”
“Now get in there and fuck his brains out!” He cheered you on, and you got a little too excited…
You slammed a fist on the table, standing up. “Yeah, he’s gonna reupholster my guts like furniture and clean it out with his cum!” You screamed out in the cafeteria. You didn’t realize it until you felt people’s eyes on you with dilated pupils. You stared back, wondering what was wrong—as it was entirely normal for succubi to do this. You swiftly glanced at Jungkook, who also looked at you shockingly.
Who were you?
-
There was no progress in your task for the past couple of days.
You were still afraid of going up to him and seducing him. You kept your distance and watched him from far away, during his classes, lunch, practice, and sometimes even late at night as you flew up and peeped through his window when he did and didn’t have someone over. At the very least, you could get a sense of who he was and what he liked.
From what you heard and saw, he was a complete asshole and too much into his ego to let a weakness show. He mainly liked to show off his delicious muscular body when playing soccer during his practices. He loved winning—a competitive motherfucker, and sometimes picked fights.
He didn’t hurt anyone…well, physically, you guessed. But you did see many girls running away crying after he spoke to them with that evil bunny smile, saying nothing would happen between them. There was no preference in girls, so that was good for you.  
His friends aren’t any better. They walked around campus like they were kings in a castle. They were too arrogant. Holy hell, was this how human men were? Damn, though Jin was annoying, you had to be honest and say incubi and other creatures were wayyyyy better than these humans.
You sat at the bleachers with a group of students taking some kind of greenery wrapped in paper. You didn’t know what it was, but you were familiar with the scent as it was usually used to scare away woodland trolls. 
Fun fact: Succubi and trolls had bad blood with them because one of the many reasons, they always sneak into our lands and hump our kinds’ legs since they couldn’t reach them. 
You tried blending in, sometimes getting offered some, but you politely denied it. You munched on delicious granola that you discovered as you scrutinized Jungkook.
Despite his sour taste of choices, you couldn’t help but still want him. Perhaps it was the demon in you who didn’t care about any traits except having sex with men. But nevertheless, you gravitated toward him. 
Now you felt a bit more in-tuned and confident as a succubus. Now knowing he doesn’t care for types except for having a hole, you had a chance to face him. But of course, the question was, how can you not make it obvious you needed to sleep with him?
You saw that practice was over, so now you had to sneakily follow.
Pretending to be part of the group with you, you shouldered your backpack and waved goodbye, which they did back despite not knowing who you were. You skipped down the bleachers and walked in the team’s direction. You took the scenic route, feigning you were looking at trees and shrubbery, even taking pictures with the phone. You didn’t know it could do that until two days ago, so you used it to your advantage by taking pictures of Jungkook for evidential purposes.
You were finally within hearing reach as you listened to Namjoon speak. “Bro, this party tonight is gonna go hard! Jimin called and said that the drinks and tables are set up.”
“The perfect way to end a perfect week.” Jungkook smiled. You enjoyed it when he spoke. It sounded very friendly to your ears.
“Of course, you’d say that.” Namjoon rolled his eyes at his friend. “We all know that you’re gonna get lucky with some girl as always.”
“What can I say? I’m irresistible.” Ugh, such a shitty personality on a red flag—you also learned that phrase here and for that, you loved the color red. “Need someone new though. It’s like I fucked every girl, except the ones you guys had. I’d like no sloppy seconds, please and thank you.”
“I would say go for a freshmen, but it does sound a bit wrong…” Namjoon commented. “Whatever, this party is free for all. Even people from the other university near by can come.”
“Mmm, we’ll just have to see.”
A party? For all? Sounds like you could join. This could be a perfect opportunity to finally get Jungkook. You knew that much more planning needed to be done, but that could be dealt with later. You needed to tell Seokjin!
-
“Finally, fuck. I was thinking of coming over to the realm and drag the both of you into a room to stick his dick in you.” Seokjin said in relief through what was a video called. Damn, this device was terrific and handy to use.
It was nice to see a familiar face despite it being Jin’s fucking irking one. You missed him, but you weren’t going to tell him that, or else he’d make fun of you until eternity, which was terrible because you both were immortal.
“I didn’t know how to approach him. Every chance seemed not right?” You reasoned as you sat on the couch. Seokjin got or whatever he did—stole?— you a house to stay at during your time here. Although the outside looked deathly abandoned, the interior was similar to your dorm back home and was near the campus. The frat house, so you can say you were relatively comfortable. 
“If that gets you to sleep at night.” Seokjin snorted, shaking his head. “Well, you’re almost there and I hope that you’ll complete this task by tonight. The highers are complaining when you’re going to finish.”
You let out a laugh, rolling your eyes. “This is me they’re talking about.”
“Yeah, I know I told them that.”
You stopped chuckling to pout at him, “Rude.”
“Anyways, what are you gonna wear? Something skimpy I hope. I don’t wanna see a duvet on you. I want to see some tits and ass, maybe even an areola.” Your mentor suggested rapidly.
“I don’t know. I don’t think I brought anything like that from back home.” You shrugged.
“Please stop wearing a lot of fabric.”
“Hey! At least I’m showing some collarbone! You’ve seen how humans dress. I needed to blend in and not get noticed.” You explained. “You think I won’t get stared at if I wore a dark purple thong and a corset around campus?”
“You’ll probably give many people boners though.” He countered, making you roll your eyes. “Lucky for you, I prepared a wardrobe in your room for you to pick. It has some lingeries and short dresses you can choose from. Don’t fail me now. If you need my help, I think it’s best for you to mind communicate with me. And if you really need my help, you can just say—”
“I’m not gonna say it but I will contact you. Good bye.” You hung up before he said anything. You exhaled and paused for a while.
This was it. You were going to complete your task tonight. It shouldn’t be too bad, you told yourself. You needed to have some confidence and encourage yourself. You put on a smile before going to your room to prepare yourself.
-
“This is how people have fun?” You grimaced as you commented on what you saw.
You arrived inside the house at the completed crowded frat party where people scattered the entire block. You spotted students running around naked, making out that almost reached exhibitionism, vomiting by the curb, and dancing to the sounds of beats that were too loud you couldn’t even hear yourself or Seokjin think. You guess you can say it was rather adventurous, but if it excited people, then so be it.
“Humans are interesting creatures, right?” Seokjin responded in your mind. His voice was crisp and clear, almost like he was right by you.
It was dreadful.
“I also saw what you sent me. Absolutely smashable, my dear!” Seokjin applauded you, turning your cheeks into a deep pink.
As what a succubus does best, you dressed up like dicks were gonna turn red and fall off from the horniest pain they’ll ever experience. You wore a short baby pink glittered dress paired with matching platform heels that were too high for your liking. The outfit was backless, exposing your supple skin. At the same time, the front pushed your boobs up, sitting properly on your chest for everyone—specifically Jungkook to see. You decided to curl your hair into the bombshell style, a trademark for a succubus. The only thing was makeup, and you went pretty natural but still dolled up for your skin to glow radiantly under those poorly-lit frat lights.
As you walked to the party, you noticed many men follow your movement, eyeing your features and gawking at your curves. They were obvious, but you ignored them to continue doing what you needed.
“You’re definitely gonna suck all the semen out of that poor soul.” Seokjin said excitingly. “By the way, where is he?”
“I have no idea.” You shook your head, scoping out the crowd to find the handsome human. “Can’t suck the semen out if I can’t see him.” One of your feet ran into the other, causing you to trip, but you got your balance back up. “Fuck these heels.”
“Relax, I’m sure you’ll find him. The night is still young and you should enjoy yourself before coming back here for your next assignment.”
“Ugh, don’t remind me. After this, I request like a month off after the mental and emotional trauma I went through.” You mentioned as you walked passed a group of people, none of which were Jungkook.
“Request denied.” Your mentor responded back. “I would like to also say that since you discovered Jungkook’s behavior, you should also note that he wants to get laid and probably before the night ends. If he does get someone and it isn’t you, then you missed your chance.”
Oh, no. You didn’t think about that. Since you overheard him saying he probably went through every girl, you had tunnel vision that he could only want you since you were “fresh.”
Oh, fuck. You also didn’t realize that there’s literally another school here, so the chances of him sleeping with somebody else new tonight was 99.9%.
What was the other 0.1% chance, one might ask?
 It was you interrupting.
“Fuck, Jin. I need to find him quickly then.” You said under your breath as you pushed through. “I’ll fuck him and leave. Dammit, why does this guy have to be ran through the freeway?”
“Better than someone who isn’t. Go get him, I’ll be here if you need it! Remember those words.”
“I’m not fucking saying them!” You seethed, pushing sweaty bodies out of your way. The body odor was through the roof, and you wanted to gag.
You weaved your way through somewhere but don’t particularly know where you were. Everything was condensed with people. Though you hated the heels, they gave you height. So you turned your head left and saw the kitchen ahead, which was somehow more empty, but you didn’t mind since you just needed some cubic centimeters to breathe. You made it to the kitchen, trying to relax yourself and adjust your outfit.
You had to develop an idea fast before Jungkook ran off with another victim. Nothing was coming to your mind, and it didn’t help when you saw a table of snacks waiting to be taken. You walked up and scanned the snacks in search of those granolas you enjoyed having. Alas, there weren’t any, which bummed you out. But you were still determined to find them.
This was a house. You were sure they had some granolas.
Suddenly, two dudes—oh, one of them was Jimin—walked in carrying a bag of ice and more snacks. Maybe they knew where the granola was located.
You went up to them while they were busy fixing everything and talking to one another. You couldn’t understand what they were saying until the other one, you didn’t know, spoke. 
“I swear that when it popped, there was so much black gunk coming out that it squirted into Yoongi’s eye.” The one you didn’t know laughed and sounded uplifting; you also wanted to laugh, but what he said confused you. 
“He told me. He wanted to beat your ass.” Jimin giggled as he dumped the ice into the jug coolers.
You confidently—or at least told yourself you were—went up to them. Their backs were facing you, so they didn’t notice you coming their way until you tapped on the unknown guy’s shoulder, hoping you got his attention. The guy thought it was one of the pledges trying to ask a stupid question to which he was gonna tell them to fuck off until he saw an absolute doll in front of him.
“Excuse me, do you have granola?” You asked with wide irises with a gentle smile, anticipating his answer as you chanted in your head he’d say yes. But he didn’t say anything to you. He kept his eyes on you, though. Then down to your figure and back up to your face. He has never seen you before.
“Do you have granola?” You repeated yourself, and now Jimin finally had your attention.
“Gorgeous, we meet again!” You could have sworn Jimin’s eyes lit up with heavy passion and jubilance. He glanced at your banging body and cursed under his breath, but you couldn’t hear.
“Jimin, you know her?” Hoseok gasped as his eyes shifted to his friend, then to you.
“Of course, bud.” Jimin smirked. “She’s in my class…I think.”
You didn’t comprehend what was happening, but you went with it. “Yes… I’m in his literature class. Hi, Jimin.” You smiled, puffing up your cheeks and eyes, making their hearts palpitate.
“You’re looking as beautiful as ever…” He slowly went silent as his slit eyes grew at you. You came up blank when you tilted your head to the side, not knowing what he was doing. You thought he would continue, but he kept his mouth shut. You blinked and were about to ask him if anything was wrong, but the unknown guy beat you to it.
“I’m Hoseok, but you can call me Hobi. What’s you name, doll?” Hoseok grinned at you.
“Ohhh.” You said in awe, now getting what Jimin was trying to do. You nodded slowly before replying, “I’m ___! Hi, Hobi.” The way you said his nickname made him feel some type of way.
“___!” Jimin raised his arms before coming up to hug you, but you were pulled back by the waist from Hoseok.
“You don’t get to hug her when you clearly forgot her name.” Hoseok scoffed, resting his palms on the tops of your hips. “Come on, doll.”
“Hey, that’s only because she ran away from me when I was about to ask her her name,” Jimin explained. His gaze went back to you as well as his smirk. “I’ve never seen you around campus before. Are you a first year?”
“Uhhh, no?” You answered. Shit, now you had to come up with some story. “I-I transferred here from somewhere.”
“Where?”
“Oh, it’s a part of Hell—I mean, Helena…”
“Helena?” Hoseok raised an eyebrow. “I think that sounds like from the States?”
“I think so, yeah.” You nodded, hoping they won’t ask any more questions. “I’m new here and I don’t know much, so I thought this party would help me get comfortable.” That was believable, right?
Though they tried to hide it, you saw how they shared the same evil reaction followed by a fake ass smile that no one would know except a demon-like yourself. Oh, no. This was going in a different direction than you wanted. 
“Don’t worry, gorgeous. We’ll help you get comfortable around here.” They sounded so genuine you were almost convinced, but you had to remind yourself that they were distractions. The main person was around the house, waiting for his dick to get wet.
“Thank you for your help, but I think I’ll survive.” You turned them down as friendly as possible. “But do you have granola?”
Not giving up, Hoseok nodded and grabbed your hand. Luckily, you didn’t mind, or else he would have lost one of his two personal hand jobs. “Of course, we keep them in the cabinets. We don’t usually give it out during parties, but since you’re one of a kind, we’ll let it slide.”
“Thanks, Hobi.” Hoseok thought you were so cute yet hot as fuck. He couldn’t back down if there was a slight future of you giving him the glug plug triple gorilla twist 3000. The fucker basically ran to get the bags of granola from you.
In the meantime, Jimin butted in and handed you a drink. “Here, gorgeous. I bet you’re thirsty.” When he said that, he wished you were thirsty for him. “Don’t worry, it’s from the jug. It’s our frat’s very own jungle juice made with passion and love. But be careful now. It’s a little strong.”
“What’s in it?”
“Well, various kinds of juices but alcohol content would be three bottles of tequila, give bottles of soju, two bottle of gin, a bottle of Bacardi, and a splash of vodka.” You have never heard of those things before, but you did know alcohol as demons loved to drink. Your favorite was pure distilled moonshine. You took the cup into your hand. The shorter man kept his eye contact, waiting to drink it.
You sipped, taking in the flavor and taste, and nodded. “It tastes like nothing. Just sugar water.” There you chugged down the liquid like it was cum before wiping your lips and giving the empty cup back to Jimin, whose jaw dropped.
A woman who could handle her liquor: he was hard.
Eventually, Hoseok came back with two bags of unopened granola in his hands. “Here you go, doll.” You squealed in glee, finally retrieving the crunchy golden glory that is granola. You were almost satisfied with your night…almost. You were still on the hunt for that frat president.
“Thanks, Hobi!” You praised gratuitously before pecking his cheek. You thought nothing of it as it was a customary gesture, especially between succubi. Still, you completely forgot you did this as a human. A human man.
The slight innocent touch caused a static effect on the man. His skin prickled with his hairs straight up, followed by the tingles on his erogenous points, which were behind his ears, neck, and nipples. Blood rushed from the brain through his veins, evidently reaching his growing phallic.
You gave a gentle smile before waving, leaving both men in shock and turning on. You didn’t even do anything to them, yet you plagued a memory they and their dicks will never forget.
They wished to have you.
-
You've been here almost an hour and still have not found Jungkook. You'd think being the main guy of this story, he would have already appeared more clearly, had more lines, and interacted with you, but nooooo, you had it hard and had to work for it.
You blamed Seokjin for this.
While you looked for him, you at least tried to take some time to have fun. Humans had fascinating ways to arouse and excite them, especially over weak alcohol. It didn't necessarily make you judge their lifestyle, but more so gained another perspective which you concluded was complete utter shit.
You eventually found Namjoon—of course, you'd see everyone else except Jeon—who was doing a "shotgun" competition. Somehow you got roped into doing it, even though you knew nothing about doing it. You asked the giant muscular man how to do so.
Long story short, you won, leaving with a drunk, dazed Namjoon following you behind Hoseok and Jimin.
Yeah, you weren't alone in the hour and started to get annoyed.
"Beautiful, where you going? Let me take you upstairs and talk our feelings."
"Don't your feet hurt in those heels, doll? I bet if I massage it, you'll feel better."
"You're so gorgeous, you make me want to throw up."
The commentary from the men wouldn't stop as they followed you like ducklings to a mother duck. You inhaled deeply through your nose, attempting to keep calm as you passed by the same group of people you saw for the 58902843 time.
"Seokjin, they're fucking killing me." You said in your mind.
"Isn't it supposed to be the other way around?" He laughed at your misery. When you said nothing back, he knew you had a deadly glare that was the most serious he had ever experienced. He could feel you, and it frightened him. After a few seconds and a string of confidence, he gulped, "Okay, fine. Hold on." He then hung up.
"Jin? Jin! Hello, did you fucking hang up o—"
"___, are you okay? You seem distress." Namjoon called out, taking your attention away from calling out your mentor. "Do you need some help? I'm a biology major and I have an excellent stash of emergency medicine—"
"Please, we get that you're prepared and trying to impress her!" Jimin insulted his friend's attempt. "We know you just want her!"
"Like you're any better." Hoseok snorted condescendingly. "I actually care for your health, ___, so I would love to assist you with any way to relief you of your distress."
The battle of roasts began between the trio as you stared blankly at them. You opened your mouth to speak, but then Namjoon called out Jimin for not wiping the toilet seat and that there were markings. You stayed quiet and thought it was your chance to escape. You stepped back, but you felt a rigid stature behind you.
An arm wrapped around your waist, and you were about to protest when they said, "Little one, I finally found you!" You exhaled in comfort, seeing your mentor in the flesh. You couldn't restrain yourself from leaning your head into his chest.
His saying paused the trio's banter to get a glimpse of the face behind that voice. No doubt in their minds, they were impressed by seeing such a tall attractive man.
Seokjin's red dress shirt was nearly unbuttoned, leaving the last two buttons together, which revealed his illuminating golden chest. His shirt was tucked into black trousers that accentuated his lean figure. His ebony hair was gelled back, exposing his one-of-a-kind forehead and prominent eyebrows.
Your mentor eyed the trio and grinned, "I see you have some friends."
"Uhh, excuse me, who are you?" Namjoon was the first to talk, refusing to let his eyes leave the handsome demon.
"I'm Seokjin."
"I-is he your boyfriend, ___?" Jimin asked.
You wanted to throw up at the sound of that. Seokjin was handsome, but he was your mentor, and you'd rather throw a chair at him.
"Ahh, no." Seokjin smiled, which made the humans breathe in relief. "But I'm her pimp daddy."
"Uh, what is that?" You thought out loud, but judging by the expressions on the men's faces, it seemed to work?? You went with it. "Yeah…my pimp daddy."
"Oh. Does that mean we have to pay for her?" Hoseok questioned, looking like he was ready to Venmo your mentor.
"She's not for grabs." Seokjin denied it, deflating their moods. "However, I have some girls you can play with for free of charge since you've been so dear to my little one." With the snap of his fingers, three succubi that you remembered you were in class with and passed their training came forward and caught the attention of the humans. Each seemed to play on a human's type as they drooled at one particular demon.
"Would you like to see my art collection in my room?" Namjoon asked the shortest demon.
"Are you up for a drinking challenge?" Jimin suggested the curviest one.
"I wanna massage you feet." Hoseok demanded the tallest one.
With arms linked with the demons, they departed in their own ways, leaving you and Seokjin alone. You sighed as you turned and looked up to Seokjin. "Thank you for once. But you do realize those three might kill them."
"True, but do you really care right now?" Seokjin shrugged, and you muttered nonsense. "You're so lucky I came. If not, you might have had an orgy which is another task, but you're not quite there yet."
"I said thank you!"
"Yeah, yeah. Just fuck the right guy, okay?" He waved it off as he, too, scoped out the area. "This place is packed."
"I know! That's why I'm struggling to find him." You whined, getting annoyed at your circumstances. "Please help me!"
"___, at this point of the task, it's really up to you."
"Please!!!!" You begged as you started bouncing in place. "Please, Seokjin. Please. Please. Please. Please! Ple—"
"Alright, fine! Fuck!" He yelled in irritation at your voice. "Anything for you to shut up!" He calmed down while you cheered in victory, waiting for him to speak. "Okay, so what do you know about Jungkook? After observing him?"
You tilted your head and gazed to the side to think. "Well, I do know he's an asshole. A little cocky? Loves to win from the sports and practices. He likes to show off? But what does this have to d—"
"So he likes to be at the center of attention?" Seokjin pointed out.
"I guess, but—"
"Think, ___." He interrupted you, but with his eyes, he pleaded. "Think and put it together. If he likes being at the center of attention…where would he be?"
Damn, was this a riddle? You never did well at those. You just gave up and went on with life. But by the look on Seokjin's face, he was desperate with you trying to realize something, and he wanted you to learn.
With that being said, where would the guy who enjoyed being at the center of attention be? 
Though you attempted to think, you couldn't hear your thoughts as a cheer of people shattered your brain, catching your focus on that. You turned your head, furrowed your brows, and were curious about the commotion.
"Hey! You bitch, focus." Seokjin snapped his fingers in front of your face, but you were to no avail. You walked away from him and followed the sounds. He groaned and rolled his eyes before footing behind you.
Hollers grew louder, and more and more humans huddled around. You pushed through the crowd, noticing how they circled around a table, giving a lot of room for it. Another uproar came into your ear as you spotted two men on each side of the table. Cups were stacked and laid out on the surface while you saw a small ball thrown into the opposite side's cup, which got another applause.
You cocked an eyebrow, questioning the excitement of throwing a ball into a cup. Again, humans and their odd interests.
Your eyes shifted towards the humans. One looked like he was struggling as his expression turned green with envy with his arms crossed over his chest. The other smiled victoriously when he shot another ball into the last cup, standing with ease. The bodies jumped in excitement, celebrating the win. Though the light was dimmed and colors splattered the room, you noticed who that was.
"Likes being in the center of attention will look for anything that grabs the people's eyes." You commented out of nowhere, surprisingly Seokjin, and made him proud.
"There's your boy right now." He nodded towards Jungkook, who pumped his fists in the air. The other guy walked away after flipping him off while the frat president blew a kiss goodbye. Coming out of the crowd, another girl who you didn't see before latched onto his body and kissed his cheek. She whispered into his ear, and his smile turned lustful with greed.
"Oh, no. He already has someone." You frowned, stomping your heel on the sticky floor. 
"It's not too late yet." Seokjin reassured. "He still has adrenaline rush from the games, he's too focused on that than pussy. You need to infiltrate somehow, but I'm not sure."
"Does anyone else want to lose at the hands of the reigning champion, Jeon Jungkook?" Another man popped into the middle. He was a bit shorter, the same height as Jimin, and had burnt orange hair. He scanned the crowd while Jungkook was too busy, practically eye-fucking the girl as he squeezed her lower back.
You couldn't let it happen.
"I'll go!" Everyone's pupils pivoted towards the high-pitched sound next to Seokjin. You raised your hand, and your voice echoed in the house, making all silent and shocked. You weren't thinking. This was all in impulse. They were staring at you with wide eyes as you stared directly at Jungkook, who had an expression you couldn't read.
"The fuck are you doing?" Seokjin spoke to you through your mind.
"I don't know but here's my chance." You shrugged.
"You, love?" The orange-haired man pointed at you.
You gulped, then nodded. You stepped forward, but again, your shoes bumped into one another, letting you trip and fall for everyone to see. 
"Son of bitch." Seokjin muttered under his breath, watching you in shame.
You were so tired of these heels that you decided to rip them off and throw them to the side, leaving you barefoot and short once again. You finally stood up and wobbled towards the table. You slammed your fist on it with determination as you stared at Jungkook.
But his stare was a bit intimidating now, so you moved your gaze to the orange man. "Yes, me! I'll play him." You nodded towards Jungkook.
"You're a feisty pretty one." Orange man smirked, then looked towards Jungkook. "Wanna play her?"
Jungkook snorted and let out a demeaning laugh, forcing you to face him and frown. "Are you serious right now? Why would I—" He couldn't finish his sentence because he met your eyes, you batting doe-eyes filled with pureness yet mystery. You looked familiar; he wanted to recognize you. A pretty face like yours should never be forgotten. "Yeah, I'll challenge her." He couldn't say no to a gorgeous sight before him.
He pushed himself away from the girl hooking onto him. She was about to complain, but he glared at her, causing her to feel insignificant and run off. His head turned back at you with a smirk you deemed his signature. You smiled back, which only made him scrunch his nose.
Fuck, he's cute.
"Hi, angel. What's your name?" His voice was smooth with so much depth.
"Uhh, ___." You replied. "What's your name, Jungkook?"
He grinned in confusion. "I see you know who I am. You don't need to ask again."
"Wait, no. Oops, forget what I said. Of course, your name is Jungkook. I had to remember it."
"You had to remember me?"
"Yeah." You nodded, then realized and said, "Wait, I know you. I mean…" You blabbered away, leaving Jungkook perplexed as he watched your glossy lips move.
It wasn't until Seokjin yelled, "Shut the fuck up and play!" Though he acted like one of the bystanders, you knew what he meant. You blinked at your mentor, then to an intimidating Jungkook whose eyes never left you.
"Are you ready to play?" Orange man said. "I'm Yoongi, by the way." That was directed towards you, but you paid no attention as your task before you had such a heavy stare it made you weak. 
"Are you ready, angel?" Jungkook asked once more for you.
"I am, but I have to tell you something." You spoke carefully, hoping you won't fuck up. "I don't know how to play."
"You don't know how to play beer pong?" He clarified what you meant, and you nodded. "If you don't know how to play, why would you challenge me?"
Your eyes grew, trying to figure out some bullshit answer. "Well…it-it looks fun. You know with throwing balls in a cup?" You said what you remembered vaguely. "I wanna try."
Jungkook hummed, slowly nodding to your reply. "You know this is a challenge, right? Also adding in that money is being betted on."
"I know!" You didn't know. "Money doesn't matter to me. I just wanna play, and maybe if anything…" You leaned in, closer to him. However, you maneuvered too fast, so half of your body slammed on the table, causing Jungkook to flinch a little at the thump. "Please teach me?"
"That was so uncomfortable. I'm leaving. Don't fuck up." Seokjin said. You glanced in his direction and disappeared before anyone could see him.
You then fluttered your gleaming eyes at your task subject. Though this move would have made Jin slap you to stop, Jungkook couldn't help but be intrigued. Maybe it was how you looked at him with those begging eyes or the tone in your lovely voice. Either way, he nodded and said, "I'll teach you, Angel. But I'm giving you a heads up." You beamed your teeth before skipping towards the opposite end of him with the table in between, waiting for him. "You can come crying into my arms when you lose."
You furrowed your brows in confusion, but without any thought, you merely nodded. "Okay, that's fine. Just teach me."
Yoongi interjected again, "Alright, people! Place your bets with our pledge, Beomgyu. Jungkook versus ___!" He pointed at two large jars that were in front of a boy. You spotted others throwing money into a pot labeled with Jungkook's name while yours was practically empty with only one bet, but it didn't really matter at this point.
"Ready when you are, JK." Orange man Yoongi finalized before stepping back.
Jungkook smirked at you, showing a faint bunny smile as he grabbed a ball. "Okay, angel. This is how you play."
He explained how the game's intent was for the players to throw the ping pong ball across a table and make it land inside the cup that had been—a type of alcohol—on the other end. Typically, there were ten cups set up in triangle formation, but as the number of cups dwindled, you could rearrange it into a straight line or triangle. You had to take turns to throw as many balls into your opponent's cup (two maximum for each turn), and if the ball did land inside, you had to consume the content inside. The person to eliminate all opponent's cups was the winner.
"You got it, angel?" He inquired after his lesson.
"Sure, I think so…" You nodded, kind of getting it. Well, not really. Every word goes from one ear to the other and floats away.
Jungkook pressed his lips into a line, "I think I should demonstrate it. Watch with your eyes, angel."
You observed the man as he stretched his limbs and neck before going into position. He dipped his ball into a cup of water on the side. He bent his knees and had a steady arm. The ball landed in a cup, then another ball went into another cup. The crowd yelled in enthusiasm as their favorite player did a double shot.
"Drink up, babe." Jungkook's arrogant aura could be seen from a hundred kilometers away. You didn't know if it turned you on or wanted him to step on you, maybe both. But nevertheless, you obliged to the game and drank the beers in four gulps. You stacked them to the side and wiped your mouth with the back of your hand. "Do you get how to do it now?"
"Yes." You spoke politely. Him watching you replicated a predator waiting for its prey to make a move. It didn't make you uncomfortable but instead made you question why the fuck are you going through hoops for this fucking first task?
His instructions sounded reasonably simple, so you gave it a go. There was no conscious thought in you, so you tossed the ball. Landed. Toss. Landed again.
You hummed in pleasure before meeting Jungkook's baffled expression. "Like that?" Everyone was on pause at the moment, thinking how the hell this clueless hot bitch got it in twice?
Jungkook snapped out of it and cleared his throat. "Beginner's luck, I guess?" He shrugged, trying hard to not make it a big deal. It was his turn, and now he was committed to making you lose. He assumed you knew what to do now, so you were on your own with it. He didn't care if you were hot—well, he does, but for the sake of the game, no.
He was only able to make one in, which was fine. All is good, feeling that you won't do as well. The chances of you getting double again was rare in the game of ping po—
You got two in, and while you were drinking your losing cup. 
What the fuck?
The game continued, and truth be told, you were actually winning. You did miss a couple of times, but you had two cups left while Jungkook had four. People were rooting for you now despite the money they lost. It was because someone was better than the Jeon Jungkook and flabbergasted when there was a chance that he was going to lose his winning streak.
You felt pretty calm, in contrast to the stressed and angered human. After every turn, he grew increasingly upset at his ability and the fact that you, a hot body, were beating him. He even refused to talk to you and mumbled curses after you made a shot.
He was grateful he made two shots, making you both tie. Unfortunately, you got one in, so you had your final cup.
It was his turn again, and he was really focused as he positioned himself and took his time.
"Come on, Jungkook!" Yoongi cheered from the sidelines.
"Shut the fuck up!" Your task spat back at him that you even grimaced. 
He didn't make any, which made him punch the table, shaking the whole furniture and cups. What a nasty loser he was.
He scowled at you like an eagle, bolding his eyebrows. His tongue played with his lip ring, waiting for you to hurry it up. "Angel, what's taking long?" Though his tone sounded composed, you knew there was a poisonous ring to it.
Honestly, you wanted to get this over with, so you can at least try getting him into bed. You sighed and casually threw the balls simultaneously to make time quicker.
Two balls in one.
Something you're not getting right now but hoped for. 
There was a stillness around you as you defeated the champion. Then an uproar ripped through the air, wincing at the noise. Humans congratulated you. Even Yoongi ran up to you to hug and smell you. You awkwardly giggled, attempting to push him away, but he had quite a grip.
"The only winner who betted on ___ goes to the name of Seokjin!" Yoongi announced.
"Fucking Jin." You rolled your eyes. You had enough of Yoongi touching you. Using your super strength, you grabbed his head and pushed him off of you. He flew into the table across, ultimately breaking it down. 
While you watched the orange man in pain, you didn't notice eerily smiling Jungkook walking up to you. You only realized it when he let his hand out. You raised your head, only aware of how large he was, and took in all his features up close.
You reached his chest. His shoulders were broad and muscular, while his waist cinched tightly with a leather belt. He was literally built like a Dorito. His facial features were too unforgettable. His large rounded eyes paired with his prominent nose you wanted to sit on. Tinted pink lips pierced with a ring and glazed at sight. His arms bulged underneath that thinned blue dress shirt that should be illegal for him to wear. His tattoos followed his movement as he flexed his hand.
"Congratulations, ___." He commanded you. You peered at his hand that was in front of you. You didn't know what to do with it, but you guessed you should hold it.
You also brought your hand forward, immediately pinpointing the difference between your hands. He shook it a little, and you were about to let go, but he tugged you forward, pulling your body until it's pressed to his front. Your neck had to extend higher and was now hurting so you could look at him.
The action threw you off, so you were nervous and felt your demon heart palpitating. One had wrapped around your arm while the other held your waist. He looked down at you with a twitch and slight curve to his lips before reaching your ear and said, "I sense you were bluffing."
"H-huh?"
"You bluffed, my dear angel." He pulled back to stare at you again. If looks could kill, he'd definitely kill. Not you, though; you were a demon. "Acting like you didn't know what you were doing at beer pong, but actually did. You bluffed me."
"I really didn't play it before. I honestly had no idea what you meant other than throw ball in cup." You reasoned with a slight pout.
He didn't buy it, but the face you were making made him weak, but he didn't want you to know that. "Guess you're just good at following instructions."
You snorted, throwing your head back. "I don't know about that."
His aura didn't match your lightness. In fact, his eyes were darkened and leered into yours because he was such a sore loser he needed answers. "Then fucking tell me why you would play me. Humiliating me in front of my party." He interrogated through his teeth.
You winced when you felt his grip tighten, but not enough to not make you in danger. If he were to hurt you, you would be able to knock him out. "Fuck, Jin. Help me out!" You spoke in your head.
Sadly, the automatic reply replied, "I'm sorry. The demon you reached out to is not ava—"
You hated your mentor.
You were panicking, feeling like you weren't going to get him in bed as the conversation worsened. You needed some kind of bullshit to make his ego inflate. "I, uhh, I did it to get your attention?"
He'd be lying if he said he was surprised at your response. Of course, it had to be the reason. He actually wanted to praise you. Though he hated it, you beat him at his own game, and that was something that he would never forget.
He licked his lip and bit down his lower ones, "Really? All this for my attention, angel? You could have just asked, instead of all that hard work."
"Really?" You were in awe. You never thought about that. "Whatever, I'm shy."
"Not shy enough to do what you did back there." He decided to play with you. He released your arm to hold your soft cheek, grazing your skin with his thumb. "Just ask and I might just give it to you."
Yes, this was your chance. You could ask him to fuck you right here, but you didn't know if he liked that. He seemed to be somewhat private since you only observed sexual activity from him in a bedroom or closed area. 
"C-can we go some place more private?" You asked.
He didn't even need to say anything. All he had to do was grab your hand and lead you through and out of the crowd. As you walked upstairs with him, all your thoughts were about how you were executing this because right now, you were winging it like a fucking beast. Maybe this wasn't so bad after all…
"I fucking told you it wasn't that bad." Your mentor's voice interrupted your internal monologue, to which you refused the disrespect.
"Why are you fucking listening?"You complained.
"Well, I'm just ensuring that it's going by smoothly, duh!" He spoke. "I'll give you style points from how you were able to get him into his room though."
The opening of the door disrupted your mind conversation as Jungkook lets you go inside first. You did so before he followed behind, closing and locking the door. You inspected his room to see if there were any abnormal or normal aspects. Though you observed him, you weren't really able to see what was inside through your abilities. You weren't quite there yet.
But it was alright to know that his room was the standard layout of human men's rooms shown in training videos. Blue checked print bed sheets on a queen-sized bed, a white dresser with colognes and oil diffusers on top, a gaming desk, and a PC. Some colored lights, posters, and a display case show figurines with a guitar in the corner. 
"Nice set up you got here." You complimented. Out of nowhere, your heart began beating faster than usual. It was most likely because you felt it happening. It was anticipated in the back of your neck. The question was, just when?
"So angel, I have a small question if you don't mind answering. Well, it's more of an explanation actually." You gazed at him, seeing how he slowly paced around his room with eyes wandering around as if he had never seen his possessions before. You don't say anything for him to continue on. "The more I look at you, the more familiar you look."
You scrunched your eyebrows, then tilted your head. But he didn't give you time to respond, "Then I realized…" His piercing irises landed on you as he stepped closer and closer to you until your neck was aching at the stretch up again. "You're the one who's been watching me."
Your eyes widened. You thought you were being careful. "W-what do you mean?" You acted clueless, hoping he'd buy it.
"I mean, I feel and see your stares during lunch, class, my practices—you know you're obvious right? Sitting next to the stoners?? You're completely out of place. It's also noticeable since I've never seen you before." He listed his smirk grew by the second while you said nothing like the dumbass you were. You opened your mouth, but he spoke up, "And to answer your question, yes being never seen before is noticeable because I've seen a lot of girls and I've never seen such a hot, gorgeous, sexy angel like you before."
Was this human a mind reader? You knew he was brilliant, but damn, it hurt what little pride you had left in you.
"So tell me ___, you've been watching me like a creep, you were trying to get my attention. What is it that you want with me?"
You wanted to fuck; that's what you wanted. But the words weren't coming out, and only repetitive stammering spewed. "I-I—umm…well, you see… I-it's." You felt your cheeks heating, begging yourself to look away, but you couldn't. He affected you so much that you wanted to get lured into his nutmeg-colored irises. You stopped your stuttering and whined with a sulking frown.
"Don't get all shy with me now." He chuckled at your vulnerable state, thinking how cute you were being. "I'm asking a simple question that I'm sure you know how to answer. Now I'm gonna ask again. What do you want with me?"
You had to fight your panicking. You needed to do this; you needed to stop restricting yourself. You had to be explicit, but too much, a little subtle. But most importantly, you must be confident. "I-I-I wanted you to teach me." Fucking smooth like butter with the confidence.
Now it was his turn to be confused, mimicking your puzzled expressions. "Teach you what?"
You cleared your throat before continuing, "You—you know how you, like, get around, like fuck other girls?" You stated. He kept silent as you pointed out the facts. "I was wondering if you could…teach me…how to fuck?" Once that sentence came out of you, you regretted saying it. Teach you how to fuck, really? If anything, it should have been the other way around, dumbass. "I don't know this sounds so stupid. I'm so sorr—"
You stopped talking when he let out a hardy laugh. You could feel his solid chest bouncing, pressing further into your front. "Angel, angel, angel. You're such a cute one." He shook his head and sighed. He wrapped his strong hands around your hips, lightly squeezing them. "Like I said, all you have to do is ask."
"Really?" You questioned, eyes bulging in glee. "Then fuck me, please? I want it now!"
He liked how excited you were, sounding desperate as you went through bridges just for dick. But hey, he wasn't complaining. This was going to be fun for him. "I would be glad to, but, you have to earn it." His arrogant smirk dropped into a stoic frightening glare. "Get down on your knees, slut."
Okay, that was out of pocket. He sounded so serious, but go off. You blinked back, "Okay."
"Okay, what?"
"Okay, Jungkook?"
"No, no, you short bitch. It's sir to you." Your jaw dropped at the insult, but you just went with it, hoping this would be over soon.
"Okay, sir. Sorry, sir." You muttered, and your tone made Jungkook annoyed. He threaded through your hair and pushed you down to the ground. You huffed as you steadied on your knees. However, you were too short, so he had to maneuver you both until he sat on his gaming chair, legs wide open. His crotch leveled with your head. You observed how it was growing harder without even being touched.
"What, you don't know how to give a blow job?" Your task snarled, thinking you were so eager yet so naive. He held your strands, bringing you closer to him.
You actually didn't know how to, despite being a fucking succubus. You kinda skipped that course practice as well as the sex toy lessons Seokjin scheduled for you. It wasn't your fault that they consistently landed on the same day Lilith and her team gave out free slushies.
But being clueless about this, you had to reach for help. "Seokjinnie!! My favorite mentor in all realms. Please help me now!!!" You begged through your mind.
"Hello, Succubus hotline. Darling, you are live." Seokjin chirped from the other side.
"I have to suck a dick and I don't know how! I'm just staring at his crotch and I'm afraid to look up because I know he's sneering at me."
"This is what you get for missing your lessons!" He scolded. "Why don't you go on with your 'teach me' method."
"My angel, are you deaf? Do you not know how to give a blow job?" Jungkook growled, tugging on your head and making you hiss in ache.
"I told you I wanted you to teach me, sir." You pouted. "Please teach me how to please you, sir."
Jungkook's expression softened at the sight of you, but it wasn't enough to wipe off the harsh demeanor he gave you. "Fine, I'll teach you. Just unzip me first, the fabric is chaffing my dick." He commanded, keeping his contact on you.
"Damn, he's vicious." Seokjin heard Jungkook speak.
You nodded and said, "Yes, sir." At least you were compliant. You unbuckled his pants and threw his belt to the side before unzipping his pants. He scooted himself up as you yanked down the fabric until it reached his knees. You spotted his bulge trying to escape his boxers. The view of the darkened wet spot made you drip down your cunt. You pulled them down, revealing his prized possession before sitting back down.
It was a given that humans weren't as big as incubi or other creatures, but Jungkook was definitely up there in the biggest you've seen. His cock looked heavy and unusually on the thicker side. He had three distinct veins, the most evident ranging from the base to the tip on the middle left. His mushroom head was aching red, oozing with pearlized pre-cum. Your succubus senses were coming in, and you could practically smell the sex seeping out of him.
You wanted to touch him, so you did without thinking. You practically manhandled it, causing him to cringe in pain. "You stupid slut, don't just grab it like that! What's wrong with you?!!"
His complaints were similar to those from Seokjin. The only difference was that it turned you on and secreted your essence onto your panties. "I'm sorry, sir."
He groaned, lightly rubbing your head with his thumb. "I want you to lick the head first." He instructed, waiting for you to move. You nodded before obliging. With your warm tongue, you dainty licked the reddening head from one side to the other to the leaking slit.
"Hey, try sucking on the top. Don't do it like a lollipop, kinda like you're gulping your spit. Swirl your tongue." Seokjin recommended, and you took any advice he gave. You did what he said, earning a satisfying growl from your task.
 "Fuck." Jungkook moaned. "Like that, angel. Your mouth is so warm and soft."
The slight praise made your eyes light up red. Fortunately, Jungkook's head was thrown back, and your normal eyes returned. You rolled your tongue over him and suckled on it.
"Use your hand. Don't squeeze tight, but have it firm." He implored. You again followed, stroking his shaft, even grazing the long vein to which he whined hard. You felt your original form attempting to break out, but you forced yourself to not do so as the act of sex was present.
"I think you're getting it. I think you should be fine. I wish to no longer help you. It's all on you know." Seokjin announced happily, but you weren't.
"Wait, Seokjin, please stay. I need support." You pleaded.
"It's your task, little one. I can only go far with guiding. You should know what to do!" He answered. "Plus I refuse to see you fuck someone. I don't want nightmares."
"Please, I'll even surrender and say the phrase—"
"Bye, darling!!"
"Seokjin, you have a massive demon dick that I wanna fuck!" You were supposed to say it in your head, but judging by the uncomfortable silence in the atmosphere and the deadly stare Jeon Jungkook gave you, you actually didn't.
His anger spewed out of him as his nostrils flared and the sides of his lips twitched. If he had tried, he would have had steam coming out of his ears. You still held his throbbing dick, but your mouth wasn't on him anymore. The way he looked at you made you smaller than you already were. Your next steps into this were nonexistent, unknowing what to do but knowing it was never a good sign when you call the wrong name in bed.
"What the fuck did you say?" He seethed, his voice going an octave lower.
"Uhh…Jungkook, you have a massive demon dick that I wanna fuck?" You snickered awkwardly and uneasily.
He still had a grip on your hair, fastened his hold, and used it to pull you up to meet his enraged face. You whimpered as your heart rushed into your chest. "You didn't say my name. Who the fuck is Seokjin?"
"I-I-I…" You had no answer. You were blanking out, so all you did was shrug. "I'm sorry, sir."
Jungkook coerced a patronizing laugh, "I don't think you're sorry. Perhaps you're just another stupid little girl, unable to remember anything."
"Maybe…"
"Well, angel." He leaned forward, and with his other hand, he grasped your cheeks and squeezed them together for your mouth to open up. "I'm gonna make you remember nothing but my name."
Before you could even respond, he pushed your head down and slammed his enormous cock down your mouth and deep into your throat. Your eyes nearly popped out of your sockets, and you groaned around his dick from the sudden movement. Both of his hands were in your hair. He didn't give you time to adjust as he bobbed your head up and down his length, hoping you were gagging. 
But you were a succubus. There was no gag reflex. Your hands were on the sides of his thighs for support. Your lips caressed his wet cock while your tongue laid flat under the heaviness. Tears breached through your tear ducts at the amount of pain yet pleasure you were receiving. You mewled with each thrust, even gulping all the saliva and pre-cum emitted.
You were messy, and he could tell you weren't experienced in this, but he relished how easily submissive you were. He pondered how far you were willing to go with him because he had a few things to do with stupid and naive yet sweet and kind girls like you.
"God, your mouth is good." He moaned, and though he mentioned a being that didn't like your kind, you weren't really caring. You wanted sex. You needed it. Your senses were begging to come out, but you weren't ready for it. Your mind and body fought against each other as a fat cock was in your mouth.
One hand unraveled off of your hair and brushed down your body. It was a plus that you were tinier than his usuals. He literally was able to reach your ass at an arm's length. He pulled the end of your dress-up to reveal your black thong. He stretched further to meet your soaked middle. You were practically dripping through the thin waste of fabric, so he pushed them to the side.
You whined at the feeling, getting slowly impatient with the act. You were getting weaker by the second, your mind slowly becoming a puddle.
"Fuck, you're so fucking wet." He slotted a finger through your folds, collecting your wetness. He passed through your perineum and landed on your puckered anus, rubbing circles around the rim. The slight action surprised you, gasped in a frenzy, accidentally biting his duck. He heaved painfully, ready to punish you but something unexpected happened because say goodbye to your hold on yourself because you were free and released.
Out came your familiar burgundy wings blooming out your back and ripping through the dress with your matching tail slithering out your tailbone. Your little horns emerged from your head that completed your succubus form. It didn't help that you were unaware of what happened to you. But Jungkook did.
He watched it happening, and he was fucking terrified.
"Holy fuck!" He pushed you off by the shoulders, distancing himself from you. He wheeled himself back with his chair, shaking like a wet kitten with enlarged pupils at what he witnessed. "Ahhh, get away from me!"
"What, what happened?" You questioned his horrific expression. But you answered your own question when you felt your tail swiveling around and noticed how you were elevated off the ground.
You cursed under your breath at your big mistake. You weren't supposed to reveal yourself to a human, especially when you were still in training. It was a safety precaution if other creatures in the realms roamed on Earth and caught you in your act.
The trauma in his eyes was still evident and nearly consuming his entire being as he was unaware that his dick was still out and hard. You needed to settle him, so he won't panic, and you could continue getting him into bed.
"Calm down, please?" You floated towards him with your palms out to indicate no harm. But he wasn't having it as he attempted scooting further away from you.
"I'm not fucking calming down, you fucking freak troll. Get away from me!"
You gasped at his intensive insult, going too far for your liking. You pouted, crossing your arms over your chest. "Excuse me! Not even a minute ago, your dick was down my "warm and soft" throat. Just because I have wings and tails doesn't mean I'm not any different from the person you met."
You were sulky and knitting your eyebrows together. Even if he was in a state of distress, he thought you were still cute and sexy. But he really wanted to know what the hell was happening.
He gulped and lifted his trembling hand to point at your new features. "A-are those real?"
You looked behind you to understand that he was asking about your wings or really anything that wasn't human-looking. "Yes."
"Really? No, you're lying! What?! How?" He threw many questions, completely baffled at this. Sure, you were floating right in front of his naked eyes, but he could have gotten pranked. He did have a controversial reputation. 
You shrugged, "I'm not gonna lie, although it would have been better if you didn't know." You whined in annoyance, picturing the future for you. "Fuck, I'm gonna get into trouble!"
"Well, now I know, and I want to leave." He was about to get up, but you went closer to him, and his initial response was cowering away from you.
"Wait, don't leave!" You begged, pressing your palms flat in front of your face as you looked down. 
"Okay, then you leave! You're in my room anyway." He demanded. "I don't want some weird as—"
"Wait, please! Let me explain!" You decided to be truthful and hoped you could still get what you wanted. It seemed like the only thing you could have done. 
Jungkook contemplated your request. He still had no idea what was going on and exactly where you were, but he concluded that you weren't a human and wouldn't kill him. You held your airhead aura and cluelessness so high, murdering him wasn’t coming to your head at all.
So he decided to stay silent and waited for you to explain. He nodded, cueing you, to which you sighed in relief. 
Knowing Seokjin abandoned you and would have probably killed you if he found out what you did, you were actually grateful you had to do this on your own for once. First of all, you disclosed that you were a succubus in training. You described your entire situation and how you came into the human world before revealing that he was your first task and that you needed to have sex with him. 
"I know it sounds crazy, but it really isn't. Succubi and other creatures are conscious about humans and your folklore and supernatural beliefs, so we stay hidden…for the most part." You joked a little to lighten the mood. However, when he didn't reciprocate it back, you stopped. "Look, I mean no harm. Well, I could kill you…" He cocked an eyebrow at you and gasped quietly. "But I won't! I don't have all my succubus powers. I didn't even have the mental capacity when I was assigned to you. I still am not! So please, help me out. I promise I'll get out of your hair once this is over. I'll even provide a cupcake!"
His deafening silence shot your anxiety through the roof. You didn't want to fail this. You didn't want to go through this process again. It happened many times in the past, and you certainly didn't want it to repeat. You wished he accepted you. It couldn't be that bad, but not every day someone saw a real-life succubus in action.
You were pulled out of your thoughts when the blank-faced Jungkook stood from his chair, fists clenching on each side of him. Fuck, you don't think this was going to end well.
But to your surprise, he stomped his way to your levitating stature. You weren't that high up. In fact, you met his height, leveling with his face. He shortened the distance between you two before raising his hand to slap your face. 
You winced in pain, holding your gradually reddened cheek. You were about to protest when you gazed into his eyes. You felt his demeanor become malicious. His jaw clenched, sharpening his feature. He rolled his tongue across his teeth as he snatched your hair with one hand and your leg with the other. He threw your form on the bed with a harsh thud, laying you on your stomach. 
"Wait, Jun—"
He slapped your ass to shut you up before he used his strength to rip your dress completely into shreds, throwing it to the side. You gasped, feeling the cold air brushing through your skin. "Shut up, you fucking whore, and it's sir!" He spanked the same place to which you hissed in pleasure. "Get on all fours or else I'll punish you."
You simply followed directions in fear yet enthusiasm as you were going to get laid in the night. You mentally cried in joy, but this wasn't what you were excepting.
Lastly, he destroyed your thong, finally leaving you in nothing. With your position, he could clearly see your rounded, plumped ass, tail swaying side to side, and wings wagging endearingly. Jungkook groaned at such an erotic sight before him, something completely new but not at all disgusted.
His fingers strolled across your body, roaming from the curve of your spine down to your hips and then the flesh of your ass. He was careful not to touch your succubus qualities just yet. "So you were basically made to be a slut?"
"Sir, I-I'm not a slut!"
"Huh, you literally told me you were a sex demon and doesn't that mean you fuck for a living?" He provoked with a smirk creeping up on his ruthless demeanor.
You pondered at the thought, "Well, when you put it that way—"Slap! You inhaled intensively as you heard and felt the sharp spank on your nether lips. 
"Don't fucking talk back to me." He quarreled, giving you another slap, to which you groaned and bit your lips to ease the soreness. You refused to say stop because he riled you up in ways you haven't experienced before. "You're gonna be a good little slut and take what I give you. Understood?"
"Y-yes, sir."
Without warning, he flipped you on your back with a bounce to your landing. You could get a good look at him—holy hell, he was absolutely captivating with his intense intimidating gaze on you. You didn't even notice that he stripped his clothes off in mere seconds of not seeing him. You didn't feel nervous or scared. Warmth spread across your body as your eyes danced around his toned muscular torso. That was definitely a sight you wanted to see again.
You watched as Jungkook climbed over your body and straddled on top of your shoulders until his weeping cock was right in front of your face. The slit leaked his translucent fluids, dripping down his lengthy shaft. Some of it landed on top of your décolletage. 
"Open your mouth." He ordered, lacing his fingers through your hair. His dick poked your cheeks and nostrils, then swiped his swollen tip on your lips like he applied lip balm. You stared back at it as you licked your lips, then opened it wide for him. He pushed the head in your mouth with a hefty groan. You latched on, puckering your lips around the thickness. He lightly tugged on your strands, urging you to look up and stare. There you were with your dark, lust-filled eyes, waiting for anything he commands. Fuck, he thought he won the golden ticket.
"Look at me when I fuck your small mouth." He said before snapping his hips forward, letting his cock disappear inside you. You groaned around him as your eyes glowed crimson before returning to their normal color. Though he was frightened, he noticed no suspicious activity, so he continued on, making a harsh yet slow pace with his thrusts.
Your esophagus wrapped around him, throbbing with each stroke. The moans coming out of you sounded like you were drowning. The tears running down your face with your eyes bloodshot exhilarated him to go even faster. His tip stabbed the very end of your tender throat continuously. You were aching, but it felt sooooo good.
Using his unused hand, he reached behind him to get you more stimulated until he felt your sticky puffy petals. Just a singular swipe through caused your hips to jerk towards his finger, wanting more pressure on it. Your minuscule doing doesn't go unnoticed by Jungkook when he lets out a chuckle. "You're a needy little angel." You hummed noncommittally, vibrations stimulating his cock. "Be a good one and suck my cock. I'll give you what you want." You eagerly nodded that Jungkook's lips twitched at your adorableness. He wondered how you were a succubus yet acting like this. 
"Don't go too hard, but hollow your cheeks around them." He instructed you. You did what he said despite not knowing if you were doing it right. But with the louder groans that left his mouth, you felt confident. "Fucking good demon." He praised, and pearls of your wetness came out of you. "Ahh, you like that, don't you? Filthy slut likes getting praised."
While he thrusts, you hollowed your cheeks and suckled through the length as it went in and out of you. He played with your sodden folds, yet cautious to not touch your clit to tease you. You whimpered, begging with your eyes. Your fingers gripped onto his sheets as you got impatient.
Jungkook pushed himself into your mouth, pressing harder into your throat. Though you had no gag reflex, you surprisingly gagged around his cock, producing more saliva around and down your chin. "You take what you get." He pulled out, and as he was about to go back in, he quickly slid two of his thick fingers in your pussy.
You moaned with your eyes rolling back, feeling the rush of pleasure all over you that you couldn't help but reach your high quicker than usual. He felt your walls convulse around his appendages. You weren't back down from your high when he aggressively pulled back, causing you to fuss around. 
"Dumb little demon, you came without permission." He smacked your overly sensitive cunt, to which you sobbed. He raised his fingers up to his lips to slurp up your cum, even moaning at the sweet taste. His cock withdrew from your red drooling lips. You had a breather, gazing at him with your fucked up expression. He hissed in astonishment, enjoying the way you looked.
He got off you before grabbing your form and scooting his head between your legs. He sniffed. "Fine, if you're so needy, I'm gonna make you cum." So with that, he licked a strip of your petals and jammed two fingers into your hole. You screamed and arched your back at the pressure.
You couldn't do anything but wrap your fingers into his ebony locks. Your mewls amplified through the room when he reached your breast to pinch and twist your nub. He attacked your cunt with his mouth before wrapping around your clit. He listened to your sounds as he curled his fingers until he found your spot.
"S-sir!" You wept, feeling another knot forming in your stomach. "C-c-can I—"
"Cum, bitch." He didn't have to tell you twice as you felt the rush of familiar warmth spread through your limbs, quivering like a damn dog in wet water. Jungkook guided you through your bliss, unlike last time. However, when you assumed you would only feel the aftershocks, Jungkook continued his actions, letting you wince at the overstimulation.
"W-wait!"
"Nope!" You felt him smirking at your pussy before going back to devouring it. Oh no, you were reaching another high. Your orgasms were like going on a rollercoaster; you were up and down, up and down, but you weren't getting off of it any time soon. You came again, and again, and again, and again until you begged him off of you.
Tears streamed down your inflamed horny face. You breathed heavily, chest rising and your body frail and feeble. You weren't as weak. In fact, you could go more rounds, but you were—in Seokjin's words—lazy as fuck that your strength went down to the ability of a human.
Through heavy eyes, you glimpsed at Jungkook, who tried licking all your cum around his lips before wiping it from the back of his hand. "So…" He lapped his hand messily. The taste was so addicting; was it cherry-flavored? "As a succubus, what can you do?"
"What do you mean?" You rasped and cringed at your voice.
 "Like do you have powers? Anything to spice up sex?"
You needed a moment to think. Sometimes you forgot you were a succubus until Jin had to hit your horns and chase you down, which caused you to fly away. Catching your breath, you answered, "I can, uh, I can morph my body into what you like? Like, I can grow my boobs, change my personality, have fur on my body, I don't know whatever you're into."
He hummed mindlessly, "Just the way you are is fine." You didn't know why his sentence made your stomach flutter with insects. It was all tingling and friendly. "But I do want you to accept my kinks."
You nodded, "Which is…"
He snatched your body and turned you like a spinning top so that you looked at him upside down while his cock was still displayed in front of you. He couldn't see your face, only your body. He didn't bother to tell you as he held your jaw unhinged and rammed himself in your mouth as fast as a human could. You gulped and gagged around him, but when he shoved his fingers again in your red petals, you squealed so much with everything happening to you. 
He could see your throat down to your spreading, shaking legs. His cock bulged through your throat, making his ego increase. His balls swatted your face. Your tail squirmed from under while your wings were being squished in between you and the bed. There was no time for adjustments. He wanted to get himself off.
His strokes were aching hard, making you cry with the amount of pressure. His appendages making your cunt yell. You couldn't even do anything, just letting him, have you. "Stupid fucking angel only good for cock. Well, actually you suck at head. I don't think you're gonna pass…"
Your pupils dilated. "No!!" You spoke with your muffled mouth and shook your head. You refused to fail, and somehow you believed his words.
"The fucked whore wants to pass?" You nodded your head vigorously and whined. "Well, if you can satisfy me." His pace was now instant, and your body reacted well to his liking. You noticed him getting sloppy while he quickened his fingers deep in you.
It was only a matter of time until he slammed into your mouth again, and the gush of his cum splashed down your throat. You gargled and sobbed profoundly, also meeting another round of ecstasy. But only this time, a stream of your fluids leaked out, surprising your task.
"Fuck." He grunted as your mouth milked him. Once you both came down, he pulled out and saw the whites in your mouth. It was a sexy view for him, but you amped it up when you gargled it and gulped it down, showing your now clean mouth.
He was still hard, and he wanted more from you. He was greedy, greedier than usual, so he held your waist and flipped you again like a rag doll, putting you on your hands and knees. You were so small. He liked it so much to throw you around. 
He caressed your plumped ass and stretched apart your cheeks, showcasing your asshole and puffed cunt. The ends of his mouth curled upwards. He wanted a closer look at your puckered hole, but your cute tail wagged happily, blocking his way.
"This fucking tail is in the way." He tugged on it, and that's your nerves triggered. 
Your pupils dilated, producing a bit of froth in the corners of your mouth. You yelped aloud as if you were in pain. "Ahhh, no!"
His smile dropped with big eyes. He feared he hurt you, maybe even past your limits. Though you were a sex demon, he didn't really know much about your kind. "A-are you okay, ___?" He lets go of your end.
You sniffled before glancing behind your shoulder with your pout. He could have sworn your face made him feel all different kinds of emotions. "It's sensitive…"
He quirked an eyebrow at you, then at your still limb. Carefully, he wrapped his fingers around it and rubbed it down gently. He noticed your right eye twitch and inhaled sharply before moaning softly. His attention shifted down your spilling pussy, realizing it was your g-spot. 
"So you like that, angel?" His arrogance shined through his growing smirk and your writhing. "Of course, you do. How about your wings?" His other hand went for your fluttering wings, making you yell in a higher pitch.
"Sir, too much!!" This was really testing your limits. Humans never touched succubi or even incubi's wings as it showed weakness. If they did, the sex demons would kill them off the bat because your kind was supposed to be dominants.
He held onto your tail and wings before positioning his tip with your hole. He played with your clit as you squealed to secrete more wetness. Once he thought it was enough, he slowly pressed his length inside of you. The head was the thickest part of him, and you thought he would have mercy on you.
But you thought wrong.
In one go, his dick impaled into your cervix. You screamed bloody murder at the aching stretch to your wrecked walls. He didn't bother for you to adjust as his penetrations were rampant and harsh. You gasped for air, fisting the sheets under you as he played with your tail, stroking its length and then pinching its pointed end.
"You love having my human dick inside of your demon pussy?" He ridiculed, and you didn't bother to wipe off the arrogant smile on him. You barely could speak, so you blabbered nonsense and nodded. "You're going stupider than you already are!" Your arm reached behind without thought, trying to grab anything. He intertwined your fingers together to keep you in place.
However, he also roughly yanked your tail, which led you to see sounds in the nose as you went back into an orgasm. Your body acted like a screenshot as the pleasure impacted your veins. Your pussy gripped tightly around his cock while he eased you through it. What shocked him was the fact that the end of your tail sprayed cum into his face. It made him flinch, but it gave him an idea that made his smirk wider.
He enveloped his lips around your tail's end and sucked off the fluids. You went into a flurry of raptures, and small pumps of orgasms came your way. You squeaked and throbbed all over, crying buckets at the pain. You couldn't handle it anymore. You were breaking.
"E-en-enough, sir." You mewled, shoving your head into the pillow to lessen your cries. His tongue twisted around your end, earning a long wail from you. "Pl-please!" He popped off your tail, pleased with his doings. While still inside of you, he tossed you on your back once more, revealing your drained, perspiring figure.
"You're beautiful." You couldn't hear him as there was an ongoing ringing in your eardrums. But he guided your arms around his neck and pulled you closer to him. He clutched onto your waist firmly that you know there'll be marks the following days. He fucked you harder, literally rearranging your insides while gawking at you.
Your tits bouncing all over your chest, hearing the sloshing of where you both met, your noises that should be the number one song on Billboard Top 100. Your sobbing and tears were drugs to him, becoming addicted in the short span of knowing you. He couldn't get enough of it. 
You had your tongue out and flapping around, hoping it could get you more oxygen in your lungs, but Jungkook begged to differ.
"Open your mouth." Like a true submissive, you did it. He gathered so much saliva and spat a glob onto your tongue. Not needing him to tell you, you swallowed it and breathed heavily. He grunted before placing his face in the crevice of your neck. He tongued on the surface, creating darkened hickeys all over.
"Please, hurry, sir." You admitted defeat, wanting this to be over already. You could barely even grip around him without trembling. Why were you such a fucking weakling? 
"Almost there, angel. I promise." After three pumps, he finally painted your insides white. He whined into your ear, nibbling on your lobe. Ropes after ropes as your cunt milked him dry. The feeling of his cum sparked you once again as you had your final high. Being as sensitive as ever, your tail sprinkled your cum over the both of you as if it was rain. Your eyes illuminated rubies and absorbed the semen into your body, accidentally draining some of Jungkook's life out, but he didn't notice it as he thought he was too fucked out.
"Fuck, you're so good for me." Jungkook exhaled, lifting his head from your neck to see your broken state. Without thought, which he never does, he leaned forward to kiss your lips innocently. You assumed it was a sort of gratitude. 
You tried kissing him back, but you didn't want to move. You felt dead like you were going to die. Your energy was nonexistent and probably won't be back until the following year. Yet you wanted to cheer as you finally completed your task. But fuck, Seokjin was going to be mad at what you did.
Oh, well. That was a problem for another time. Right now, all you wanted to do was pass out and fall asleep for seven years.
-
"Congratulations on completing your first task!" Seokjin said elatedly as he threw confetti at your face. You were finally back in your realm, specifically Seokjin's office, after three weeks of being in your dorm. After finishing your task, you left Jungkook, and the human realm before their sun rose. You wanted to get out and finally be in the comfort of your room as you recovered from the night.
You were going to lie because it was honestly incredible, almost too much for your liking. No creature ever got you off like that, and you were bewildered when a human man made you cum in ways you didn't think about before. Though it was a task, you don't believe another job will get your cum like Jungkook did. You pondered on that thought while viewing your mentor frolicking around his space, continuing to throw confetti that you knew he'd tell you to clean up.
"Only 99 more to go!" He announced as he smiled. "Well, actually…you did complete a couple more since this subject had a remarkable history of interests."
You shrugged and brushed it off. You floated on his desk and hovered above as you crisscrossed your legs. "Yeah, hooray for me. Seokjin, I have a question or two, maybe even three."
"Yes, my little mentee? I'm so happy. Even the highers are raving ab—"
"With my other tasks, does it always have to be a different subject?" You questioned, interrupting Seokjin's glee.
Your mentor tilted his head in wonder. He hummed, "Well, it's recommended to have different subjects to gain knowledge of the variety. But most of the time, no, except like three tasks, only because you need another p—"
"Perfect, can I have Jungkook as my task helper?"
"What?!?!?"
-
It has been over a month since Jungkook last saw you. He woke up to an empty cold side of his bed with all the traces of you disappearing overnight. At first, he didn't bother to care. He usually kicked the girls out of his room once it was over or when he'd wake up. Your departure helped him out a lot. But with you…you…well, you were a demon, so of course, you were different.
Though he went on with his life, even continuing his fuck boy streak, he couldn't stop thinking about you. He didn't want to be honest with himself, but he wanted to see around campus. But he knew it wouldn't happen since you were a succubus. It was all for your training, and that was it.
Maybe it was the way you looked, how you acted, or just perhaps you were not human. He couldn't comprehend why he thought like this. Perhaps you injected some potion that caused him to lowkey simp for you. But after the brief encounter, he knew you weren't as bright to do that to him.
Whatever, the point is that you were unforgettable in his brain, and he only wished to see you again but knew it wasn't going to happen. 
He sat at a coffee shop, trying to do some work before his partner for his class showed up. As he was too focused on his screen, he didn't notice someone sitting opposite of him until they cleared their throat. Though a bit irritated by the disruption, he eventually looked up and lost breath.
You were in the flesh—gorgeous and alluring flesh—smiling at his baffled state. He stared with round, wide eyes with his lips slightly parted. No words can describe how he was feeling, but he knew that he liked that you were back. Millions of questions and sentences ran through his head. He wanted to say so much to you, but you beat him to it.
But not with a hello, not how he was feeling, but—
"Sir, do you think you could teach me again?
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A/N: Sequel Here!
2K notes · View notes
seaadc · 2 months
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Hihiii, I have a request! I hope thats alright? I just finish your Zhongli x Adeptus!reader migraine, and I fell inlove with it! its kinda like me in someway, I used to be huge simp for Zhongli, well until the Fotaine update, somehow I didnt simp like I used to for Zhongli, my attention quickly shift to Neuvillette!(I guess I have a thing for dragons-) anyways sorry for rambling!
My request would be like the same idea as the Migraine Zhongli x Adeptus!reader? change childe for Neuvillette, I heard Neuvillette is going to be in the lantern rite! that would a perfect place! sorry sorry if I didnt make sense, english isnt my first language.
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you meet him again, the one who had shattered your heart. | zhongli
ANGST, no pronouns used, cocky neuvi, guizhong x morax, ESTABLISHED RELATIONSHIP
a/n: IDKWHY THIS TOOK ME SO LONG LMAOAXOAO slow writer here!! (bc i want it to b perfect smh..)
not proofread !!
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no. really— no.
you didn’t expect he would be here, well, which was pretty stupid. of course he’d be there. he lives in liyue after all. it’s plain common sense.
but it seems as if you were just clinging to lost hope, a hope that says you dont wanna see him there, interact with him, anything else just not him in it.
morax, the god of contract. the god you once loved, but never loved you the same way as you did. it was obvious who he had in his mind and heart, it was guizhong. i mean— who wouldnt, really?
guizhong was pretty, smart, courteous, firm, everything morax wanted in a person. it was hard to hate her, it was more easy liking her.
yet, why was it so hard for you? why was it so hard to like guizhong?
everyone else did, so why didn’t you? is it because of how envious you were of her, is it because you were jealous that she had morax wrapped around her little finger, is it because you wished to be her?
you didn’t know. how would you? when you solely focused on morax. you didn’t have time for yourself. you didn’t realize you were hurting, you were in agony.
no one noticed, not even you, not even morax. why would he notice? when all his attention was all guizhong’s.
maybe that’s why you were a bit overjoyed, when you had heard she had been killed. well, you heard from a rumor.
you had left them, for good. to be put simply, you left morax. you bid your farewells to xiao, as he was the only accomplice you have enjoyed their company with. no one else.
i guess you could say you enjoyed morax’s company, well, not so much. guizhong was always with you both. there was never a chance you two were alone.
it’s rude of you to be happy at the news of her “dead”. it’s offensive and disrespectful to the god of dust. but, you really didn’t care. was it of envy? you don’t know.
it was the first lantern rite you have attended again, after so many years of avoiding liyue and residing in somewhere far away, which was fontaine. it was great, meeting many people and friends that were generous and kind enough to talk to you.
so seeing him again in present time, both your eyes locked with eachother, gazing at one another, it feels as if time had stopped.
you both were together once more, reunited by fate, was it to attempt to reconcile your differences?
it was always him and you. side by side, fighting with other mobs, gods, and other things.
but did he, for once, fight for your heart?
he did. but not for you, for guizhong. he fought alongside her when you weren’t there, were you just a second option? maybe you were. maybe you are.
neuvilette says you aren’t. he, word for word, promised that he wouldn’t be like your first love. so let him be the love that you need, let him be the one that you cherish, and you did.
so going to lantern rite with him, it was his wish when both of you had gotten together. you couldn’t say no to a pretty face.
i guess for neuvilette, meeting another dragon would be unpleasant. yes, it might sound possessive, but if you look on it at the good side (his side), it may not be so wrong.
especially because that dragon was once your first love. your first ever greatest. so he had all the reasons to get jealous!
zhongli looks devastated as he sees/smells another dragon scent on you, your aura illuminating a blue and white one. it wasn’t yellow and orange anymore. was morax replaced?
who is he to ask? someone who had left you, replaced and almost forgotten about you. so why bother asking if you still love him?
neuvilette wraps an arm around your waist from behind, your aura brightens as morax could only narrow his eyes. he wishes he was the cause of your aura changing and glistening. him and neuvilette had maintained eye contact, as if arguing firmly in their minds.
only they could see scents after all.
so, as cocky as neuvilette can be, he kissed you on the cheek as zhongli’s eyes wrinkled in envy.
“let’s go somewhere else.” neuvilette whispered, and you nodded.
and zhongli saw that faint little smirk on neuvilette’s lips when he saw his reaction. it’s making him pissed. why is he acting like this anyway? it’s because he only realized now that he loves you. not guizhong.
zhongli feels this inkling pain deep in his heart, it’s wrong. it hurts him so much, he feels so sorry for treating you the way you don’t deserve to be treated.
but it’s too late.
only in his dreams, you are his. but i guess he just woke up from his everlasting dream.
and he feels as if he won’t be getting that marvelous dream once more.
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made by @seaadc and @seaadc only!
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landrywrites · 8 months
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jack champion — behind the scenes
warnings: no warnings
summary: you’re jacks girlfriend and you’re on set with him for the movie, after filming the scene where he says “i’ve always wanted to stick something in you tara.” you can’t help but feel a little jealous
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you’re watching behind the camera as your boyfriend is currently swinging a fake knife at jenna, he suddenly says. “i’ve always wanted to stick something in you tara!” your body freezes, you don’t remember that being in the script… but you keep watching and decide to just let it slide ? ( you don’t let it slide )
you purse your lips and turn around to grab some water to ease the dryness in your throat, knowing it’s a little late for some coffee right now. you blink a couple of times before turning back to hear “cut” from the director and seeing jack run up to you, about to hug you but you play it off as not wanting fake blood on your clothes.
“hey baby! what’s wrong? i mean it’s fine if you don’t wanna hug but i don’t have a lot of fake blood on me yet y’know..” he pouts a little bit and it tugs on your heartstrings, you know getting jealous over something so minimal was stupid but you can’t help but feel your eyes well up just a bit.
“it’s nothing, just not feeling good right now, don’t wanna get you sick or nothin’ in case it’s something” now you weren’t exactly LYING, you did feel sick to your stomach but not in the way one would think, he understood and opted for holding your hand instead, he dragged you around set until he got to his bag and grabbed out medicine
the fact you knew he brought it for you instead of anyone else made your heart beat a little faster. he was always so caring and thoughtful, of course he would. he always did cute stuff like this it was hard to stay mad at him for long periods of time because you always caved for just how cute he really was.
you whine and he looks back from his backpack, standing up he cups your face. the look he wears is one of concern and he’s frantically looking around to see it you’re hurt anywhere. “what’s wrong baby!? talk to me.. please” he pleads with you.
you finally grumble out.. “i’m not really sick.. i mean my stomach does hurt but not in the way you think..” he gives you a look of confusion but nods his head urging you to go on. “well, after you filmed that scene with jenna.. you know where you said ‘i’ve always wanted to stick something in you tara’ i was a little jealous.” you pout and look up at him.
he laughs… laughs ? “oh baby what am i gonna do with you?” he says between giggles making you hit his chest. “it’s not funny, jack.” you say while crossing your arms and turning around to not see his beautiful face while he laughs that stupidly adorable laugh.
he hugs you from behind. “aw baby, didn’t i tell you they changed the script?” he kisses your head and turns you back around to face him. “jackkk now there’s fake blood in my hair i literally feel it.” deciding to ignore what he said because your cheeks are burning red from his actions.
“sorry baby, but i guess i forgot to tell you. don’t be jealous you know it didn’t mean anything.” he goes to hug you again while you back up. “it’s fine jack but they’re calling for you and i don’t need anymore blood in my hair, please. i love you but this is gonna be a pain to wash out.” he sighs but accepts and pats your head instead, kissing your forehead before covering your ears to yell out a “coming!”
you head back together, hand in hand and you watch with a blush on your face as your lovely boyfriend acts out the final scenes, ready to go home for the day you grab your guys’ stuff and you wait for him to clean up before heading out and going home.
home with him.
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, posersays: second time writing on here. hope you enjoy this jack fic i put out
© landrywrites 2023
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What If It Doesn't End Well // JJ Maybank
request: none!
prompts: none!
summary: you and jj have been in love with each other for years, and after finally getting together, you couldn't be happier. but one day things change, and jj starts pulling away. when you go to confront him, things don't end the way you were hoping.
warnings: heavy angst but there's a happy ending, arguing, crying, insecure jj, mentions of jj's home life, mentions of l*ke maybank, language, brief allusions to depression
word count: 3.6k
a/n: gn!reader, this is my favorite song of all time and i had so much fun writing this! i'm really proud of this, and i hope you guys like it!
join my taglist! album masterlist!
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Around the sun and around again
You seem to look right through me
Another year being your best friend
Feels like you always knew me
“Did you ever think this would happen? That we would ever get together?” you asked JJ, lifting your head up from its spot on his chest.
“I dunno,” JJ shrugged, pulling you close with the arm he had wrapped around you. “I mean we’ve been friends for as long as I can remember, it was probably bound to happen at some point.”
You smiled and reached down to take his hand in yours. “I guess. I just never would’ve thought we would end up together.”
“Why’s that?” 
You sighed, laying your head back down and snuggling closer to him. “After all this time, and after being in love with you for years, it kinda just seemed… out of reach? Don’t get me wrong, I’ve literally never been happier. But it just all felt more like a dream than something that could actually happen. And yet, here I am. With you.” 
You tilted your head up and pressed a gentle kiss to his cheek. JJ smiled at the affection before kissing the top of your head.
“I know what you mean. I always kinda thought you’d never see me like that. I still can’t even really believe it sometimes. That someone as perfect as you could ever be attracted to someone like me.”
You laughed softly, smiling up at him. “Oh, please. I am far from perfect.”
“Not in my eyes. To me, there’s no one better.”
And I'm so proud to call you mine
Feels like I know you from another life
Mm-hmm, mm-hmm, mm-hmm
Mm-hmm, mm-hmm, mm-hmm
“Do you think you guys were together in a past life?” Kie asked, pulling her jacket around her tighter as a breeze swept through the beach.
“You believe in all that?” JJ asked, raising an eyebrow at her as he pulled you closer to him.
You smiled, leaning your head on his shoulder and wrapping your arm around his torso as he draped his over your shoulders.
“I don’t know. You guys just seem so perfect together, like you’ve already been together for years.”
You shrugged, your face flushing slightly at her words. “Maybe we were. I mean, if I ever did have a past life, I can guarantee that I wouldn’t have wanted anyone else.”
“You really mean that?” JJ asked, his voice sounding emotional.
“Yeah. I really do. There’s no one else I’d rather be with. It’s you and me. Forever.”
But what if it doesn't end well
Would you still stay?
What if I fuck it up like I always do
And my shit gets in the way?
Things with JJ had been perfect. In the few months since you had gotten together, you were practically attached at the hip. Spending every second of every day together, cherishing every single moment of your newfound happiness together. Your friends weren’t even annoyed at how clingy the two of you were, especially since they had all been aware of your feelings for each other long before you confessed them. 
But then one day, something changed. You could almost feel JJ pulling away from you, even if he tried to not be upfront about it. There was a growing distance between the two of you, and it wasn’t just physically. You had gone from spending everyday together, to only seeing him every other day, if that. You were lucky if you even got a text from him. As the days passed, you could feel yourself missing his presence more and more. Your mind spiraled as you tried to figure out what was going on. Had you done something to upset him? Did he fall in love with someone else?
When you tried asking your friends about it, no one seemed to have a clue. John B was always so busy with Sarah that he hadn’t even noticed that something changed. Pope was barely around to see anything since he was always so busy with school. And Kie was so enthralled with your and JJ’s relationship that she probably wouldn’t be able to notice anything wrong with it even if she tried. 
So, you had no other choice than to confront JJ about it. You had always been so close to him, feeling like you could always talk to him about anything, no matter what. But this time it was different. You were nervous, your mind flooded with all the possible worst case scenarios about what could have possibly gone wrong. Still, if you wanted to salvage your relationship before it was too far gone, you had no other choice than to toughen up and talk to him about it. 
What if it doesn't end well
Would we still be fine?
When the world is over and we go under
Would you still be mine?
You tried to call JJ, hoping that talking to him about things over the phone would help to ease your nerves. But he didn’t answer. So here you were, walking up to his place to confront him in person. Where he wouldn’t be able to ignore you. 
You bit the inside of your cheek nervously as you walked over to him. He was standing in his yard, working on his motorcycle. You felt your heart leap at just the sight of him, suddenly realizing how long it’s been since you last saw him in person. As you grew closer, JJ looked up at the sound of your footsteps, his face falling at the sight of you, which definitely did not help your nerves.
“Hey, JJ. Can we talk?” you asked, your voice shaking with nerves despite your best efforts to hide it.
“Sure. What about?” He seemed so nonchalant about things, that you were almost more hurt by his lack of a reaction. Did he seriously not know what you wanted to talk to him about? Or did he just care that little about you?
“You know what about. You’ve been so distant lately. I haven’t seen you in days, and you almost never answer when I call you. What’s wrong? Did I do something?” your voice broke near the end of your words, your eyes filling up with tears that you desperately tried to blink back before they could fall.
JJ sighed in frustration, running his hand through his hair as he turned to face you. “No, you didn’t do anything. I just- I can’t do this anymore, okay?”
“What?” you asked, your resolve crumbling as tears spilled down your face.
“I’m sorry that things ended up like this. But I can’t do this anymore. We can’t be together anymore. It’s over.”
“Are you serious? After everything, it’s all over just like that?” your voice rose slightly as emotions swirled within you. You were absolutely devastated, but you were also enraged. Out of nowhere, JJ pulls away and then suddenly decides that he’s done with you? You could barely hold yourself together as all of your feelings poured out of you. “It was supposed to be you and me forever. What happened to that? What happened to us?!”
“I can’t do this right now, y/n. Okay? Just go.”
You opened your mouth to respond, before letting it fall shut again. You couldn’t think of anything to say. What would you even say? This was so unlike him. Not once in all the years that you’d known him had he ever treated you like this. But things were different now. Something had changed, and you still didn’t know what it was.
Around the clock, we can talk for days
'Bout how we saw it comin'
Another sign written on my face
'Cause now my blood is pumpin'
JJ sighed to himself as he watched you walk away. This was bound to happen sooner or later. He knew that you guys were never going to last. One day you would wise up and realize that you were too good for him. Or one day he might do something that would drive you away for good. Either way, he knew that he had no chance of you staying with him for good. So, he decided to break up with you first. To save himself from the heartbreak that he knew would happen eventually. 
Except, things didn’t work out quite like he'd thought they would. Breaking up with you didn’t save him from the hurt that he knew would come. In fact, it almost seemed like it made it worse. He had hurt you. He had made you cry. He had broken your heart. He knew he would never forget that look on your face, how devastated you seemed. Your relationship really did fall apart, and it was all his fault. 
“Fuck!” he yelled, kicking his motorcycle over in a fit of rage.
That was exactly why he had dumped you. He was so messed up. He was always so sad and angry all the time, and he didn’t want you to see that. Well, that isn’t really true. He was always sad and angry, except when he was with you. You had always made him feel normal, not like the broken monster that he viewed himself as. But now that he had pushed you away, most likely for good, he realized that he had really fucked up. You were the one good thing that he had in his life. And now you were gone. And he was alone again. 
Can you just hold me for a little while?
My skin is crawling, I feel vile
Mm-hmm, mm-hmm, mm-hmm
Mm-hmm, mm-hmm, mm-hmm
It had been almost two weeks since JJ ended things, and no one’s really seen him since. Even after the way things had ended, you were still really worried about him. He rarely ever stayed in by himself, usually opting to go to parties or hanging out at someone else’s house instead. But ever since you broke up, JJ’s practically been a ghost. You knew that you probably shouldn’t, but you couldn’t stop yourself from going over to his place to check on him. Just to make sure that he was alright. 
“JJ?” you asked as you knocked on his door for the second time, waiting for an answer. But there was still nothing. Either he couldn’t hear you banging on the door, which was highly unlikely, or he just couldn’t be bothered to get up to answer it. You knew he was home, you could see a light on through the window and you could hear the faint sound of the television from the other side of the door. 
You reached down and tried the doorknob, which much to your surprise opened the door. He hadn’t locked it. Not really a good safety practice, but right now it was working in your favor. Pushing the door open the rest of the way, you walked inside, closing and locking it behind you.
“JJ? Are you in here? I know you probably don’t want to see me right now, but I’m worried about you. No one’s seen you in a while, I just wanted to make sure you were okay.”
You walked into the living room to see JJ laying down on the couch, watching reruns of some old nineties sitcom. You felt your heart shatter at the sight of him, he was a mess. His eyes were red and puffy, his cheeks were stained with tears. His clothes looked as if he had been wearing them for the past few days, and he was surrounded by empty beer bottles and takeout containers that littered the coffee table and the floor. 
You frowned as you walked over to him, sitting down on the armrest of the couch. 
“Are you okay? What happened?” you asked, your voice soft as you reached down to run your fingers through his knotted hair. JJ almost melted at the touch. 
“I’m sorry,” he replied, his voice barely above a whisper, but you could still hear all of the pain behind his words.
“It’s okay, you don’t need to apologize. You did what you thought was best, and I’m not mad at you for it.”
He shook his head, before looking up at you as he spoke. “But I didn’t want to do it. I just-,” JJ cut himself off as he let out a sigh. “I’ll understand if you don’t want to, but could you hold me? Please? Just for a little while. Your touch always helps me feel better.”
You nodded, moving to lay down beside him on the couch and pulling him into your arms. “Of course. I’ll always be here for you, don’t ever forget that.”
But what if it doesn't end well
Would you still stay?
What if I fuck it up like I always do
And my shit gets in the way?
“I didn’t want to break up with you. I just didn’t know what else to do. We were becoming serious, and I was just so scared. I didn’t want to ruin things. But I guess that’s what I ended up doing anyway,” JJ said, finally breaking the silence between the two of you.
“Why did you do it? We were so happy together, things were amazing. What changed?”
JJ sighed, tilting his head up to look at you. “Nothing changed. I guess I was just starting to realize that we never would’ve lasted anyways, and I didn’t want to deal with all that pain after I became more attached to you. I thought getting it out of the way would hurt less. But it didn’t. I shouldn’t have done it like that, I’m so sorry.”
You frowned at his words. “You didn’t think we were going to last?”
“Did you think that we were? I mean look at us, who are we kidding? It was never going to end well between us. We’re just not right for each other. I’m not right for you.”
“JJ, what are you talking about? We were great together. We were perfect for each other. I thought that we were going to be together forever.”
JJ huffed and sat up, inadvertently pulling away from your arms. Your face fell at his actions, but you sat up too, turning to face him. 
“I mean, just look at you! You’re perfect! Everything about you and your life is perfect! You have an amazing family, you’re happy all the time. You know what you want, and you know what you’re going to do with your life. You have a plan, and goals, and you want to get out of here. I was an idiot for thinking someone like you would ever want to stay with me.”
“JJ-,” you started, only for JJ to cut you off.
“No! Don’t tell me that I’m wrong, because I’m not wrong. I don’t have anything going for me. I’m sad and angry all the time. My dad’s a piece of shit, and I’m turning into a criminal, just like him. I’m barely passing high school, there’s no way I’m going to college. I have no idea what I’m gonna do with my life, but I know damn well that I’m never gonna leave here. You’re all put together. You’re perfect. And I’m a mess. I’m just a pathetic loser that you can do so much better than.”
What if it doesn't end well
Would we still be fine?
When the world is over and we go under
Would you still be mine?
You reached out and gently grabbed JJ’s face, making him look at you. Even though he wanted to pull away, he couldn’t help but melt into your touch. His eyes watered as he looked into yours, and you wanted nothing more than to take his pain away. To make him see himself the way that you saw him. 
“First of all, you are nothing like your father. Okay? Nothing. You’re not turning into him, and you are never going to turn into him. Because you are a good person JJ. And so what if you don’t have any plans for the future? That doesn’t mean that we can’t still be together. The future is years away. All that matters is right now. And right now, I want to be with you.”
JJ reluctantly pulled away from your touch. “No, okay? You don’t want to be with me. I’m just a broken mess. You can do so much better than me. I don’t want to be the one holding you back from being happy. You deserve to be with someone better.”
You reached forward again and took his hands in yours. “So what if there’s supposedly someone better for me? I don’t want them. I don’t want anyone else. I want you, JJ. You make me happy, happier than I’ve ever been before. You’re not holding me back from being happy, you’re the one who’s making me happy. And so what if you’re broken? I don’t care. I want you, and I want to be with you, no matter what. And if you really are broken, then I’m gonna be right there beside you to help you put yourself back together.”
“No. No! You don’t want to be with me. You might think that you do right now, but you don’t. I’m too much for you. And even if things are okay for a little while, I’ll mess up eventually. Someday you’re gonna realize that I’m not what you want. And the longer we’re together before that happens, the worse it’s gonna hurt when it does.”
“I love you, JJ! I have never loved someone as much as I love you. And if you think that there is anything that you could do that could ever make me stop loving you, then you don’t know me at all. There is absolutely nothing, not a single thing in existence, that you could do that could ever make my feelings for you change. I am always going to want you, and I am always going to love you. And I’m going to prove that to you, no matter how long it takes.”
Woah-oh, oh-oh, oh-oh
Woah-oh, oh-oh, oh-oh
Woah-oh, woah-oh, oh-oh
Woah-oh, oh-oh, oh-oh
JJ’s gaze softened at your words, and you could see him visibly relax, almost as if all of the tension was leaving his body. 
“Do you really mean that?”
You smiled and squeezed his hands tighter. “Every word.”
He smiled back at you and pulled you forward, hugging you tightly the second you collided with him. You wrapped your arms around his neck and held him close, the feeling of finally being close to him again making you feel whole once more. You never wanted to let go of him again.
“I’m sorry, for everything. I shouldn’t have just broken up with you like that. I was just too scared to talk to you about what I was feeling because I was worried that you would think I was right. I just didn’t want to risk losing you, so I thought pushing you away would save me from the heartbreak.”
“It’s okay, JJ. I get it, really, I do. But if you ever feel like that again, or if you’re ever feeling anything that’s too big to handle on your own, you can come to me. I’ll always be there to help you, no matter what. And I would never judge you. I promise.”
“I know. I should’ve just gone to you in the first place, instead of messing everything up the way I did. I wish I could just go back and change it. I wish I had never broken up with you in the first place.”
But what if it doesn't end well
Would you still stay?
What if I fuck it up like I always do
And my shit gets in the way?
“Does this mean that we can give us another chance?” you asked, pulling away slightly to look at him.
“Are you sure you want to? I mean, what if it doesn’t end well? What if I panic and break up with you again, or what if I become too much for you? I don’t want to lose you.”
“JJ, you’re never gonna lose me. I love you, so fucking much. Nothing could ever make me want to leave you. I want to spend the rest of my life with you, nothing could ever change that. I don’t care how long it takes me, but one day I’m gonna make you believe me. So, please. Give us another chance.”
JJ looked into your eyes, fighting with himself as he tried to turn you down, not wanting to risk it. But he couldn’t. You sounded so sincere with all the words you said to him. And even if things don’t end up the way the two of you were hoping, at least he would get some more time with you. And he would gladly take as much time with you as he could get.
“Yeah, okay. We can try again. And I’m not gonna run away this time. I love you. And I’m gonna try to not be so scared anymore. I trust you. And, I want to be with you.”
You smiled widely as you pulled JJ into another hug, squeezing him so tightly that your arms began to hurt. You felt him pull away slightly, so you did too, feeling a bit confused by this. But once you could see his face again, JJ pulled you into a kiss, and it felt like everything around you melted away. Nothing else mattered anymore. It was just you and him. Forever. 
What if it doesn't end well
Would we still be fine?
When the world is over and we go under
Would you still be mine?
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