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captainjonnitkessler · 3 months

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You know I used to think "tumblr's absolute refusal to actually engage with the Trolley Problem in favor of insisting that there must be a third, morally pure option that doesn't require them to make a hard decision and anyone who asks them to make a binary choice is just a short-sighted idiot is really fucking annoying, but I guess it's not actually doing any harm".

Anyway that was before we asked tumblr at large to decide between "guy aiding a genocide but making progress elsewhere" and "guy who would actively and enthusiastically participate in a genocide and would also make everything else much, much worse for everyone elsewhere" and the response was that there must be a third, morally pure option that doesn't require them to make a hard decision and that anyone who asks them to make a binary choice is a short-sighted idiot.

#there is not a third option. it is either trump OR biden #and one of those will be much MUCH worse for palestine #i'm really really sorry that these are the options. i wish they weren't.#but WHAT third option are you trying to take here? what on earth is your proposed outcome #that will actually make things better for palestine?#because letting trump win the election is NOT going to help them #i'm sorry but you need to set aside your feelings and take the option that will lead to less harm to palestine in the long run #you talk such a big game about how people need to be willing to make sacrifices to help palestine #but you yourself aren't even willing to hold your nose and vote to stop things from getting worse?#or did you think 'sacrifice' only meant not getting mcdonalds for a few months?#us politics

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andthebeanstalk · 11 months

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Today my therapist introduced me to a concept surrounding disability that she called "hLep".

Which is when you - in this case, you are a disabled person - ask someone for help ("I can't drink almond milk so can you get me some whole milk?", or "Please call Donna and ask her to pick up the car for me."), and they say yes, and then they do something that is not what you asked for but is what they think you should have asked for ("I know you said you wanted whole, but I got you skim milk because it's better for you!", "I didn't want to ruin Donna's day by asking her that, so I spent your money on an expensive towing service!") And then if you get annoyed at them for ignoring what you actually asked for - and often it has already happened repeatedly - they get angry because they "were just helping you! You should be grateful!!"

And my therapist pointed out that this is not "help", it's "hLep".

Sure, it looks like help; it kind of sounds like help too; and if it was adjusted just a little bit, it could be help. But it's not help. It's hLep.

At its best, it is patronizing and makes a person feel unvalued and un-listened-to. Always, it reinforces the false idea that disabled people can't be trusted with our own care. And at its worst, it results in disabled people losing our freedom and control over our lives, and also being unable to actually access what we need to survive.

So please, when a disabled person asks you for help on something, don't be a hLeper, be a helper! In other words: they know better than you what they need, and the best way you can honor the trust they've put in you is to believe that!

Also, I want to be very clear that the "getting angry at a disabled person's attempts to point out harmful behavior" part of this makes the whole thing WAY worse. Like it'd be one thing if my roommate bought me some passive-aggressive skim milk, but then they heard what I had to say, and they apologized and did better in the future - our relationship could bounce back from that. But it is very much another thing to have a crying shouting match with someone who is furious at you for saying something they did was ableist. Like, Christ, Jessica, remind me to never ask for your support ever again! You make me feel like if I asked you to call 911, you'd order a pizza because you know I'll feel better once I eat something!!

Edit: crediting my therapist by name with her permission - this term was coined by Nahime Aguirre Mtanous!

Edit again: I made an optional follow-up to this post after seeing the responses. Might help somebody. CW for me frankly talking about how dangerous hLep really is.

#hlep #original #mental health #my sympathies and empathies to anyone who has to rely on this kind of hlep to get what they need.#the people in my life who most need to see this post are my family but even if they did I sincerely doubt they would internalize it #i've tried to break thru to them so many times it makes my head hurt. so i am focusing on boundaries and on finding other forms of support #and this thing i learned today helps me validate those boundaries. the example with the milk was from my therapist.#the example with the towing company was a real thing that happened with my parents a few months ago while I was age 28. 28!#a full adult age! it is so infantilizing as a disabled adult to seek assistance and support from ableist parents.#they were real mad i was mad tho. and the spoons i spent trying to explain it were only the latest in a long line of #huge family-related spoon expenditures. distance and the ability to enforce boundaries helps. haven't talked to sisters for literally the #longest period of my whole life. people really believe that if they love you and try to help you they can do no wrong.#and those people are NOT great allies to the chronically sick folks in their lives.#you can adore someone and still fuck up and hurt them so bad. will your pride refuse to accept what you've done and lash out instead?#or will you have courage and be kind? will you learn and grow? all of us have prejudices and practices we are not yet aware of.#no one is pure. but will you be kind? will you be a good friend? will you grow? i hope i grow. i hope i always make the choice to grow.#i hope with every year i age i get better and better at making people feel the opposite of how my family's ableism has made me feel #i will see them seen and hear them heard and smile at their smiles. make them feel smart and held and strong.#just like i do now but even better! i am always learning better ways to be kind so i don't see why i would stop

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bluegiragi · 1 year

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monster au intros - team 141 feat. Price, Ghost, Soap and Gaz!

#laswell is just a normal human being #she doesnt need powers to keep these boys in line #also ive had the idea for this au for literal months but the soapbox series always took priority #so im really REALLY excited to be finally getting to this #also dont worry! more intros are coming soon #im planning on doing alejandro rudy graves valeria #and konig horangi and kruger respectively #monster fkers unite #monster 141 au #john mactavish #john soap mactavish #simon ghost riley #simon riley #captain price #captain john price #kyle gaz garrick #giragi art #also feel free to send in asks about lore #i need help fleshing out the au anyway :)

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girlboyburger · 3 months

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a big fat dragon tail would fix me. it'd fix all of us.

#moo.txt #finally getting close to finializing a dragon design ive been touching for over a month #i love milo and my other sonas dearly but i need a new flavor of dragon .#ive been really feeling that soaring over the pnw vibes and it needs to be real #naow

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pokeberry5 · 5 months

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(who's gonna save you, hero?)

i love whump fics where tim ends up on the ropes alone and doesn't know if anyone's gonna reach him in time

i really really love leonardo romero's inks and jordie bellaire's colors from the "i am the gun" mini telling the zur-en arrh backstory (in batman issues #128-130), so this is another loose style study

i had this frame in mind specifically, altho i couldnt quite commit to the hard inks

ALSO the concept was loosely based off the issues in legacy ('tec (1940) #698-99) where tim goes undercover and then gets nabbed by lockup and his comm cuts off in the middle of telling nightwing what's going on, which also gave us this great (but misleading) cover

#it's about HIS COMM CUTTING OUT MID SITREP oR cutting them off!!! on purpose bc he doesnt want his family to hear him die #when theyre TRYING TO GET TO HIM #tim drake #sart #dc #i really need to get my hands on the collected failsafe volume #also #i am once again asking you to read batman: legacy #(the way i psyched myself out of working on this for like a month+)#i did give him internal bleeding this time haha

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thebibliosphere · 6 months

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My body is just straight up collapsing in on itself today.

I had a three day migraine, none of my joints are staying in place, my stomach is a nightmare, I'm breaking out in hives, my brain is looking for any reason to swan dive off the deep end into self-destruction and Everything Hurts.

All because my menstrual cycle started.

Meanwhile, my ob/gyn just keeps trying to push an IUD on me instead of the actual help I'm asking for. Like fucksake, just let me yeet this shit and try testosterone.

"oH bUt yOu MiGhT gRoW uNwANted hAiR"

M'AM, MY PELVIS JUST DISLOCATED. TWICE.

#chronic health tag #I need to switch ob/gyns #I really do #I'm so sick of this every month

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onlyancunin · 16 days

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Temptations Part 2: Accolades

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diviedrawn · 1 year

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One month one month one month

#I know this month will probably go by really fast but I just want the game already #I need to practice drawing luis bc he’s kind of difficult ngl #resident evil 4 remake #re4 remake #leon kennedy #ashley graham #luis sera #resident evil #re fanart #leon kennedy fanart #illustrators on tumblr #sketches #my art

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negativespace06 · 1 month

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a bunch a random steven universe stuff 👍

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themathomhouse · 10 months

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this disability pride month, stop making jokes about people in wheelchairs standing up or walking.

can I stand and walk? sure, for a short while and with pain. the consequences for trying to be out all day without a wheelchair are that I'll be in bed for the rest of the week, too tired and in too much pain to move.

but the government won't give me my own wheelchair because they have the same attitude as these jokes - I can stand up, so I don't need one. exercise is good for you, you should walk!

it keeps me trapped in the house, unable to do anything more than short stints anywhere without borrowing or hiring a wheelchair - one that causes me pain to sit in and relies on someone to push me (usually with difficulty), because they're not going to have a high-end chair for that sort of thing.

it's not a miracle that a wheelchair user can stand or walk. it's something we should aspire to see more often.

#disability #disability pride month #chronic fatigue #fibromyalgia #cfs/me #post exertional malaise #like fucking hell people we should really be long past this by now #why am I seeing these bullshit jokes on my dash in twenty fucking twenty three #i did a short walk to a cafe yesterday because I thought I was up to it #and my right leg has seized up #my ankle can barely take my weight and my hip won't move properly #also lol I almost certainly have hEDS but cannot persuade a doctor to give me a referral #in summary #stop being fucking dense #i would rather people who don't need mobility aids use them than have people struggle because they don't want to be seen as a faker #or have people think that you have to reach a certain level of severity before you need it #also if I had a wheelchair I would bring my cat with me more places but that's by the by

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spaciebabie · 6 months

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not bad considering i havent drawn him since september guaguhaghhehaga

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canisalbus · 7 months

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How do you draw so frequently???

I'm starting to think I probably have some passive ADHD so I end up always admiring ppl who can just constantly do stuff, it's like a dream, your art is also like a dream, Vasco is also a sweet dream, I really like Vasco, he looks really sweet

I set aside a little bit of time every evening just to draw, it's become almost like a wind down routine for me. It helps if I don't treat it as serious 100% effort hard mode art time, I usually multitask a little on the side, watch a movie or take breaks to do little chores around the house and art just sort of happens if it happens. Lately I've been making mostly personal low pressure feel-good pieces.

#this isn't really normal for me either I'm typically way WAY more shiftless #I've been unusually productive during these past few months but I may slow down sooner or later #drawing Vasco/Machete stuff is nice it gives me some badly needed serotonin and results in this positive feedback loop #so I keep making more #I also switched to different antidepressants earlier this year and I'm thinking maybe they have something to do with it #perhaps they reconnected some wires in my brain and suddenly drawing became a lot easier and more enjoyable who's to say #I'm just trying to make the most out of this creative period while it lasts #answered #anonymous #own characters #Vasco

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mipexch · 7 months

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dance with me one last time

#ultrakill #dreams end come true #mirage #v2 #very VERY proud of this #got backlogged really bad but here it is #i need to draw some more things for dect. im insane over this #Have been #for months #read this website for the first time in either january or february and i cried my ass off. thank you for introducing me to weg btw #animations #gen art

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theloveinc · 2 months

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OlderDad!Bakugou who gets a haircut and his baby doesn't recognize him and he doesn't want his dad to pick him up 😭😭😭😭😭😭

Bakugou has a cry in the bathroom and you have to spend the rest of the night consoling him.

Also Hiiiiiii, miss u, hope youre gooooood

head in my hands bc of this, just thought abt bakugo growing out his hair a little bit right after baby's birth...takes him months to go and get a real haircut cuz he doesn't wanna burden you more than he already has and by the time he's okay with the thought (but only for "AN HOUR MAX," is what he says), he has a mullet thing going on and all this scruff on his chin🥺🥺🥺

so he gets home with his regular ol' haircut, maybe a little shorter just to account for ... not wanting to go again so soon, and baby's HOLLERING bloody murder as soon as they see him and refusing to be taken out of your arms, doing that thing where they're flipping their face back and forth to dodge a kiss...

it's so tragic bc not even a little cheek nuzzling helps to calm them bc bakugo's CLEAN SHAVEN and smells like aftershave instead of like dad when he tries!!!!!!

and after, you watch him kinda sulk into the bathroom, thinking like aw yeah thats a bummer but also pretty funny, too (esp bc the haircut does look good🫣🤓), AND HE DOESN'T COME OUT FOR LIKE an hour???

....until you finally have to ask him if he's okay in there and you're opening the door to him sitting on the toilet seat, arms crossed and red cheeks a little streaky with tears...

LJFKASDJFADSJK it's the cutest, most sad sight you ever did see!! ofc Bakugo tries to deny it, but the way he tears up again (after you're done assuring him he did nothing wrong) when his baby finally realizes it's him and smiles (and then how he refuses to give them up again until bedtime) has his ass. EXPOSED.

(i love and miss u more than air, earth, water, dirt + HOPE YOU'RE GOOD TOO BESTIE ILY)

#bakugo #HI PYGMY THIS WAS INSANE OF U TO SAY THANK U PYGMY MY BFFL #but sorry u said this and i had to rip the idea right out of your hands and put it straight into my mouth #i feel like i'm high on a drug i really do #bakugo doing that thing where he he refuses to leave baby or u for long periods and fights being told to go do something nice for himself #he's showing up to his first guys night in like 6 months and doesn't know what do with himself #needs a baby picture once and hour #and he gets home to baby asleep in the crib and YES he's upset he missed bedtime but also like. wow. alone time with y/n.#and he just wants to hold u🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺 and watch a movie and be together #and he;s finally at a point in his life when he's able to admit vulnerability and talks abt feeling like an inadequate dad.#and finally u just have to shut him up by fuc-[redacted for profanity]#oh my god gonna think abt this all night #ALL NIGHT I LOVE U PYGMY #caitie things #kids tw #gen #pygmy lurks

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esmiara · 9 months

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Love confess-...oh!

Kind of a "sequel" to this, but it's really just about that one scene in fifteen.

#bungou stray dogs #bsd #bungo stray dogs #soukoku #skk #bsd chuuya #bsd dazai #fanart #teen skk #reference y'know #but not actual teens #i really went “imma do a whole COMIC about this silly attempt n°2”#i missed doing some proper comics anyway #it's great #what is also funny (or scary) is that i drew them so much i don't need to look at refs or do a sketch anymore #there must be something to worry about there... uh...#“it's just a phase!” no it's not it's already been whole months and i'm still as sick about them #damn look at all this rambling

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shuploc · 16 days

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Hey, uhh... what if I told you I kinda miss Miguel... what would you do

#'kinda' translates to 'actually really a lot' lmao #I have a some miggy things I need to wait a couple of months to post cuz they're for zines' and the zines need to be out first #but like... damn.......#I miss drawing him so much #what if I told you imma preheat this oven and put a pot on the stove so we can start cooking again... rubbing my hands together

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