#this movie do be poppin off with the visuals

[girlfriendsofthegalaxy]

tuesday again 11/1/22

watched a good movie made a good soup

listening

Witch for a Night by Sugar Pie DeSanto. i think any song that starts with the lines

I'm gonna be a party-poppin, show-stoppin, wig-floppin witch for a night!

will never disappoint you.

_

reading

The Markup did a huge crunchy report about how they figured out poorer, less white neighborhoods got slower, more expensive internet than their wealthy white neighbors, and a more accessible writeup.

they do absolutely exquisite data visualization.

good data viz really makes a fuckin difference. this is damning!!! look at this shit!!!

and none of the ISPs had anything productive to say about their methodology!!! not literally bulletproof but pretty damn fuckin close, since it's pulling price and address info directly from ISP sites.

_

watching

Saloum (2021, dir. Herbulot). this is a West African terror film with a good dollop of acid western stylization to create the world's tensest dinner parties as a curse does what curses do. i really really loved this bc if we take a "western" as any movie with a group of mercenaries in an arid colonized land, it is a fun take on what a modern spaghetti western can be with all the visual flair and pathos i love about this subgenre when it's good.

this is the kind of film tarantino loves to rip off. Herbulot cites two video games as direct influence and they are rdr2 and metal gear solid v.

i do want to underscore that the director is very clear about his "terror" categorization:

But the cursed king that they're talking about, it's a real story. It's real mythology. That is from the Saloum. And so this story is real. This myth is real. This curse is real. Now beyond that, what's the curse and how does it work? I don't know yet. I don't want to know (laughs). But that was our starting point. It was essential for me that, if we were going to shoot the Saloum region, we wanted to be as respectful as we could be, especially for [collaborator] Pamela, because that's her birth region.

this is a really fucking tight eighty minutes. apparently this was originally closer to three hours long, with a lot of backstory about the Hyenas (a gang of mercenaries extracting a drug lord and a briefcase full of gold) and Awa (the girl they meet in a tourist camp when their plane comes down in the desert after sabotage).

this is a film, like all my favorite spaghetti westerns, that is very concerned with revenge and what makes a hero. it frames most of this during the world's tensest series of dinner parties at this camp as they try to get fuel and resin to fix their plane. and then, of course, things go sideways.

this is a very beautiful and well-made movie (and not just Good For A Budget Movie, just straight up a good lookin movie) with a lot of care put into framing and setting up shots. the director used to be a comic book artist and used to shoot music videos, so the framing and shot setup is really thoughtful. this movie is simply fun to watch. it is very good at holding and building tension, everything unravels in slow motion until it doesn't and then it's a level of your favorite first-person shooter. it does suffer from the "the monster isn't actually as scary as the anticipation of seeing the monster" but this group of mercs looks so fuckin sick all the time it more than makes up for it imo. yes he is wearing white dishwashing gloves paired with a machete. also versace pants and shoes.

this podcast episode was very helpful bc their guest is from the Gambia and had a ton of important and useful context to give. this is fundamentally a "recap the movie and do some bits about it" podcast so your tolerance may vary.

i would strongly recommend signing up for a free week of Shudder with a burner email and watching this movie legally, bc it will almost certainly never see wide release :(

how'd i find this: like many other things, this is indirectly @morrak 's fault. last year he said "hey have you listened to this podcast episode dunking on the hyperloop" to which i said "no i have not" and then fell into the alice caldwell-kelly podcast cinematic universe. her podcast Kill James Bond is not my favorite, bc it is mostly a podcast recapping spy films and doing bits about them, which i have a limited tolerance for, but it is very good at going WOW THERE'S A LOT OF RAPE IN THIS BOND FILM and reminding me i should not rewatch literally any of the older movies, as much as i love daniel craig's outings.

_

playing

i did nick valentine's final companion quest in fo4 and cried my fucking eyes out, again. why won't they let me romance the robot and why is he trapped in this incredibly mediocre game :(((

_

making

red lentil soup with lemon bc i realized if i buy a bunch of soup-serving-size-i-like plastic off brand tupperware, i can have microwaveable soup lunch for much cheaper than just buying a lot of canned soup. and it does not require any more prep than setting an alarm to take a unit of soup out of the freezer and into the fridge the night before, which is good bc my brain is fuckin fried by 1 PM.

the leek and potato soup i made last month did Not freeze well. it's like edible but the texture is...not ideal. the internet said lentil soups freeze well, and even though this recipe is from the nyt it looked reasonable enough with some modifications.

recipe here. shit i changed:

not quite tripled, bc i wanted to use up an entire bag of lentils at once.

did not add red pepper flakes to the soup itself as it cooked bc i'm bad at estimating how spicy i like things.

added cumin until my heart said to stop, deffo far more than a teaspoon. probably two tablespoons? the fun thing i previously knew about lentils is that they absorb a lot like A Lot of flavor so just like. keep fuckin going with ur lil shakers.

the lemon is really crucial here, it's perfectly fine on its own with just salt/pepper/cumin, but the lemon does a lot of work

added in the entire 6oz can of tomato paste, bc i never remember to use half-cans up and then they mold in the back of my fridge and i get cranky about it. also like. one tablespoon??? really??? get the fuck out of here.

added in many carrots bc i like a stew-like consistency and also had a lot of really sad carrots in my crisper

threw in like five stalks of celery bc i bought a clump or whatever a unit of celery is called for something else and wanted to use it up

most of a bag of small-medium onions and like 4oz of minced garlic bc that was what my heart said on sunday night when i made this

still nursing along some green onions on my countertop, bought nice bread specifically for dinner. i buy the spreadable carton of brie bc i hate peeling cheese and i like brie, and i think brie goes well with this soup.

#this is So long whoops #i really liked this fuckin movie!!! #will be pitching it individually to pallas and chase later #bringing my presentation setting up my slides #tuesday again #tuesday again no problem

[spidey-bie]

Hi hi hi! I do have extra development on Moxie. That little possibly 1k message? The basic fucking surface to be scratched. I have not been normal about Moxie since the second movie came out. I'm telling you, I probably would be hyperfixating on spider-verse harder right now if Moxie wasn't just so goddamn intriguing and scratching the right parts of brain rn. Absolutely fucking enamoured, with Moxie rn. Loosing my absolute shit and full neck deep into writing Moxie at this point in time. My favorite part of them is honestly the writing challenge.

My typical writing style for doing most stories is this almost grim-dark realism, and yeah that has it's place and it's weight and it's a good vehicle for world building and everything to use real world examples as a jumping off point into getting into something more fluid and concrete, but sometimes you need a story that breaks all of your own rules so that you can focus solely on being creative, and that's what Moxie is for me.

Moxie's ideas came from slapstick black and white cartoons of the 1930s and later. This almost fluidity of motion itself and the expression of emotion without words itself. Originally, they were going to be about a world of black and beige, the only colour being organics (people, animals, flowers, organic matter) but because of how concrete their city and world is, there is no colour. Cities and companies paint exclusively in black with beige light to illuminate. It was going to be a message about anger, (hence Moxie's name) about punkness in the most concrete definition of the word (not the musical scene, about the movement of punk) and what happens to that frog when you slowly boil them. My typical writing style, and it was a really interesting concept that I will be frogging (recycling ideas for something else) but it was hard as hell to write and emotionally taxing to think about how we're fucking up and all that. Moxie was always meant to be the brightest, most colourful thing in the room because they started and lead the rebellion against climate change.

Moxie's story is about how care can be an act of rebellion. The rules of life is that you have to be cold and jaded, that the world is cruel but Moxie sees the world differently. They see the world in the eyes of someone who didn't get to experience childhood wonder rediscovering it long into "adulthood" where they're supposed to be this serious and callused and good at shit but they aren't. You're supposed to be interested in all these things, but Moxie's just interested in painting these bluejays. Moxie's only love is wonder. I love them so much for it. It sounds so simple when I put it like that, but how the fuck do you write a world for a character to belong in when they're so different from it, not only visually being that the setting Moxie takes place in is dark, cold, wet and dreary with not alot of money with Moxie's contrast being so bright and colourful; It's how the fuck do you explain to people how this isn't just cold and wet? It's a world rooted in perspective. That bat that you just put away into a container didn't really disappear into a void, but because it looked like it did, suddenly it can and items can mary poppins themselves out of even the weirdest of places if you try hard enough. It's a cartoon in written form, with emotional forefront being so integral to bringing everything together. Anger, is a crucial theme, with many of their "villains" being people who take different ideas of how anger can be worked through and how it challenges people. It's a narrative that says there's too many different perspectives out there to have villains.

Yes, I love Moxie very much, and I'm so fucking glad that spider-verse exists and with the amazing creative minds that it did, because let me fucking tell you, This is changing my entire view of being a writer and storyteller just by writing this little dickens. I have not shut up at all about them to anyone who will hear me speak, I am FOAMING at the mouth.

Writing Moxie has also given me a new perspective on comic hobie, and how many more flaws he has and ways he could've been fleshed out that they just fucking didn't that I could also talk about. There's also the thing about the edge of spider-geddon that has it's own issues I feel need to be addressed on a larger scale but, not time not place.

I refuse to be normal about this little shit at any point. XD  

I'm physically vibrating with this ask.

I love how we're playing with the mediums here. Like that's so interesting of a concept.

No but I have a similar issue because my writing always seems to veer in a more dark and tragic type of writing too. (I tried to make it more positive but after reading this ask I started brainstorming and it got like 70 shades darker 😔.)

Okay but the layers. The way they just burst through and defy everything that's considered the "normal". They exist outside the gender binary area, they refuse to let the world make them bitter, and they literally exist outside the norm of the world regarding its medium. I ju- UGHHHHHHHH DESPITE IT ALL THEY CHOOSE TO BE CARING. (Literally holding back tears at this point ngl)

That bat that you just put away into a container didn't really disappear into a void, but because it looked like it did, suddenly it can and items can mary poppins themselves out of even the weirdest of places if you try hard enough.

OKAY BUT THAT'S SO COOL OF AN IDEA. I don't know if you meant in a literal way or a metaphorical sense or both. But either way that's ju- ASDFGSJXJDJDKKD.

Nonononono continue with that rant in that last paragraph about how they could've expanded on Hobie's character. <-Person who hasn't read the comics.

BUT FR LIKE KEEP FILLING ME IN ON MOXIE.

#i hope you know im sitting here in my car looking crazy because i keep screaming and hitting my steering wheel 😭 #if i could just send you a voice recording of all the things i yelled #like OMG i didn't even type half of the things that i said #IM SO EXCITED #i too am foaming at the mouth #literally can't be normal about them #Moxie #spidersona #spiderman oc #jay webs words #my fuzzy friends [🕷️]

[im-overstimulated-and-im-sad]

7 Comfort Movies

Thanks for the tag, @dreamingofmickeywaffles @reyestrandd and @lemonlyman-dotcom 🥰🥰🥰

1. Clue- there isn’t a second of this movie that is wasted, every single part of it is wonderful- the costumes, the dialogue, the over the top spectacle of it all- every single person in this (it also has the perfect amount of characters, I don’t know why this is a thing for me but it is) but all of them bite into the scenery and do not let go for 97 minutes and it is SENSATIONAL. I wish I could go back to 1985 and tell the people who said it sucked what they’re missing (and tell them about the multiple endings I can imagine how confusing that was in a pre social media world).

2. The Producers (the 2005 version) it’s impossible for me to watch this movie and be in a bad mood. Matthew Broderick and Nathan Lane play off each other so well and I relate to Leo Bloom on a spiritual level (the line “you’ve mistaken me for someone with a spine” - MOOD). I haven’t seen the original so it may be rehashing but this just makes me happy.

3. Emperors New Groove- Aka the most underrated Disney movie in existence- Lordy do I love this movie. Every single of line is this is so goddamn funny even from the characters that aren’t necessarily supposed to be (I love Pacha’s wife- “UGH! I gotta go wash something”). And the fact that they wanted to do a villain as a young person backstory and picked Cruella over Yzma- a TRAVESTY. GIVE ME MY YZMA CENTERED PREQUEL DISNEY- I MEAN IT! (Sorry for all the shouting. Probably shouldn’t have filled this out after back to back shifts lol).

4. Sleepless in Seattle- this movie is just like a warm hug to me. Not even that it’s romantic- like it is but it’s so much more than that- it has just the right amount of characters and it does a good job of being a movie where they tell you don’t base your life around a movie but still being one of those movies and Rosie O’Donnell’s character is friend goals and Tom Hanks- he really is that charming- it’s one of those movies where I just think about it for weeks after I watch it (particularly the part at the end where he finally gets to Jonah and tearfully tells him “you’re my family. You’re all I’ve got”. Also the father-son stuff is top notch.

5. The Goonies- I’m still not over that Ke Huy Quan mentioned Jeff Cohen in his Oscar speech- but they are just the cutest group of kids and Brand is the cutest older brother in the you are so annoying but also you’re not gonna get hurt on my watch way and Chunk is adorable and I love all these goobers so much

6. Mary Poppins- this movie is just so wonderful. It’s beautifully shot and the songs and in between dialogue is amazing and I’m always embarrassed to tell people how much I love this movie cause I’m much too old and might cry about how much it means to me.

7. Muppet Treasure Island- MARGARITAS AT THE MIDNIGHT BUFFET!! This movie is really funny and also really sweet at the same time? Like I think about the there’s got to be something better song once a week but then there’s Gonzo whispering “I believe they prefer visually challenged fiend” and Jennifer Saunders as the innkeeper who can always hear them- “I’ll be fine boys- run for it!” “How does she do that?!” And Tim Curry- Tim Curry is having so much fun in this movie (“Satan is heating his pokers for you, you… blasphemous heathens!”) If I had two hours left to live I would put this movie on.

No pressure tags - @elevatehearts @hydesjackiespuddinpop @manicpixiedreamb0y @poppy-in-the-woods @baubeautyandthegeek @ellena-asg @draculakells @paperstorm

#comfort movies #tag game #get to know me

[kylesvariouslistsandstuff]

STRANGE WORLD Frustration

History repeats itself in the world of big-time Western animation feature films...

STRANGE WORLD, a Don Hall-directed sci-fi adventure B-flick throwback from Walt Disney Animation Studios, is looking to lose money at the box office, despite being out for barely 2 days. Costing over $135m to make, the usual for one of these California made in-house pictures from one of the Mouse House’s animation divisions (Pixar’s LIGHTYEAR cost $200m to make), the film is also not playing in several key markets for various reasons. A distribution disagreement is making it a straight-to-Disney+ title in France, and homophobia is why it won’t play in several overseas markets.

At least here, you’d think there’d be some kind of hope, right? After all, animated movies are slowly picking back up at the North American box office. Or so it seems... This year saw MINIONS: THE RISE OF GRU cross $300m domestically alone in addition to a fine worldwide take, THE BAD GUYS legged it up and made a nice little profit, DC LEAGUE OF SUPER-PETS was also leggy and did okay for itself. PAWS OF FURY came and went, MARCEL THE SHELL WITH SHOES ON had a very short wide run, and LIGHTYEAR failed to recoup its astronomical costs. Take away the budget and horrendous legs for LIGHTYEAR, you’ll still see that the movie collected about $118m domestically. That currently has it behind MINIONS Deux and SING 2 as the highest-earning animated movies of the post-outbreak era. LIGHTYEAR was purely a case of many audiences just not liking the movie. Maybe if it was something else, and not the nerdy-specific movie that director Angus MacLane set out to make (which I admired and enjoyed, myself), perhaps it could’ve been a bona fide Pixar summer blockbuster? I do not know.

Much like STRANGE WORLD, LIGHTYEAR was a sci-fi action animated movie. Those just don’t pull in big blockbuster grosses that are required to cover the hefty costs. We saw this again and again... TITAN A.E. in 2000, ATLANTIS: THE LOST EMPIRE in 2001, TREASURE PLANET in 2002, BATTLE FOR TERRA and 9 in 2009, and now LIGHTYEAR and STRANGE WORLD look to join this unfortunate pantheon of animated movies that tried to show audiences the scope of the medium and what it can pull off... More than just singing princesses and farting ogres and jibbering yellow tic-tacs.

Perhaps you could mount an argument for BIG HERO 6 and SPIDER-MAN: INTO THE SPIDER-VERSE, two superhero films based on Marvel characters. BIG HERO 6 certainly has some action bits and a techy futuristic setting, but Disney wisely promoted that movie as “haha look at the big funny marshmallow robot”. Then you have the popularity of superheroes, that sure helped! Coming off of TANGLED, WRECK-IT RALPH, and FROZEN had to have brought some goodwill for the Disney Animation adventure, too. It opened very well and held on very well, big hit.

SPIDER-MAN: INTO THE SPIDER-VERSE had a fairly lukewarm opening when it bowed in mid-December of 2018, and it relied on very *very* strong word-of-mouth to bring it up to a near-$200m domestic haul. Being a Christmas release also helped, usually family films leg it up *big* time during the season, even with a lot of competition around it. And SPIDER-VERSE had plenty, from AQUAMAN to MARY POPPINS RETURNS to BUMBLEBEE.

But BIG HERO 6 and SPIDER-VERSE are likely seen as “superhero” movies by the public, not so much as “sci-fi” movies. To the public, “sci-fi” might mean space adventures and techy futures, but *without* superheroes. No one in STRANGE WORLD is a superhero. Buzz and his crew in LIGHTYEAR are just human beings in space suits with some neat tech at their disposal, but not really superheroes as we come to define them. LIGHTYEAR could perhaps be seen as a superhero origin story, should we have gotten a LIGHTYEAR sequel where Buzz and his new Star Command crew fight bad guys up in the cosmos, but alas. Visually and storywise, LIGHTYEAR leans more STAR TREK than, say, IRON MAN.

It seems that the one wide-released animated space adventure that didn’t lose money was... STAR WARS: THE CLONE WARS, a microbudgeted pilot to the long-running series of the same name. Now, that $68m gross it pulled in in summer 2008 was no great shakes... But it only cost $8.5m to make. That was it!

Maybe the lesson here is... Don’t overspend on these movies? TITAN A.E. cost around $90m in 2000, but flopped hard with a $36m worldwide take. Yikes. ATLANTIS: THE LOST EMPIRE was somewhere around $120m, it sank with $186m worldwide. TREASURE PLANET went down in history as one of the world’s biggest box office bombs, grossing $101m against a $140m budget. (A record for an animated feature at the time, and still the highest for a largely 2D film.) LIGHTYEAR took in $226m against a $200m budget, **ouch!** STRANGE WORLD maybe could’ve been made for half of what it ended up costing... and still look as cool as it did? Films like THE BAD GUYS (cost $80m), SPIDER-VERSE (cost $90m), THE MITCHELLS VS. THE MACHINES (cost $50-100m), even Illumination’s films (typically cost $70-90m)... They all show that you can make pretty fine and even dynamic-looking visuals without adding another $100m to the price tag.

STRANGE WORLD curiously has a “B” CinemaScore, a shocking low for a Disney Animation or Pixar release. Word of mouth looks to be sour for this one, but I can only wonder why. It’s no different from most animated movies I’ve seen lately, that have had fine multipliers. Is it really, truly the sci-fi elements and glorpy weird creatures? Is it truly the classic Jules Verne-esque adventure movie vibes? Are too many Americans **that** homophobic that they absolutely won’t see or recommend this film that has a gay lead character in it who is - not implied whatsoever, stated explicitly - crushing on a boy at school?

Morever, did Disney intentionally make this film fail because of the gay relationship? Many have tweeted endlessly about how STRANGE WORLD wasn’t marketed, or had “bad” marketing. The former is certainly untrue... There were two theatrical trailers, multiple posters, ads everywhere on websites/YouTube/TV commercial breaks/etc. You might have adblocker on, too. However, what was in those trailers didn’t seem to entice those who saw them... If you can’t get people interested in your movie, no matter how subjectively good or unsatisfactory it may be, then it’s dead on arrival. This is exactly what happened to something like TREASURE PLANET almost exactly two decades ago.

STRANGE WORLD is just that, sadly. The ads didn’t get people interested, and the movie itself just isn’t doing it for audiences. I liked the movie fine and loved certain things about it, it has a slew of mostly positive/passing-grade reviews. So do a lot of blockbuster animated movies. No, for whatever reason, audiences are just not digging this one... A shame, because the takeaway better not be “no more animated movies with LGBTQIA+ characters” or “no more animated movies that try out different genres”. If Disney was trying to bury this movie because of Ethan Clade and his crush Diazo, then they failed, because the right-wing *always* finds out. They look for things that aren’t there, so of course they learned early on that STRANGE WORLD was going to be an evil movie corrupting America’s youth. And they were *loud* about it. Heck, they probably gave that movie as much publicity as Disney themselves did.

Oh yeah, about that... Lots of finger-pointing. The current thing I’m seeing is “Bob Chapek killed STRANGE WORLD”. Chapek, a former CEO that I’m happy that they ousted, likely had nothing to do with that. At least directly. The movie was presumably greenlit when Bob Iger was CEO, pre-COVID. Average WDAS movie takes about four years to take shape, from concept to creation to final cut. STRANGE WORLD had to have been on the boards as early as 2018. In fact, if you remember, its director Don Hall wasn’t originally set to direct RAYA AND THE LAST DRAGON, which debuted nearly two years prior.

Tangent-time: RAYA AND THE LAST DRAGON was supposed to be WDAS’ Thanksgiving 2020 offering, keeping in line with how they usually do a new film almost every November/Thanksgiving. TANGLED, FROZEN, MOANA, RALPH BREAKS THE INTERNET, and FROZEN II were Thanksgiving releases in their respective release years. WRECK-IT RALPH and BIG HERO 6 were first-weekend-of-November releases. RAYA was set to be the fall 2020 film, which sets it two years apart from STRANGE WORLD. RAYA was pitched by Paul Briggs and Dean Wellins, who were to be the directors of that picture. Then a shake-up happened about a year before release, Don Hall and Carlos Lopez Estrada replaced them as directors, Briggs was “co-director”, and Wellins was out completely. Because of COVID and other release schedule restructurings, RAYA ended up being a March 2021 release, but presumably it was in the can before then and the release date was simply because of COVID. I think Don Hall was working on STRANGE WORLD circa 2018, while Briggs and Wellins were still directing RAYA. Then the shake-up happened, Hall put STRANGE WORLD aside to direct RAYA... Much like how Rich Moore put aside WRECK-IT RALPH 2 to direct on ZOOTOPIA with Byron Howard... And then returned to STRANGE WORLD after that and committed to that. If anyone from Disney Animation can confirm that for me, that’d be swell! I’d like to think it was an Iger-era greenlight... It’s also entirely possible that this was a modern-day equivalent of DUMBO, a movie banged out in less than 2 years as a stopgap feature, but I’m thinking it was in some form of development dating back to 2018 at the earliest.

(UPDATE: 11/29/2022 - A few days after posting this, I learned that Don Hall started developing STRANGE WORLD sometime in early 2017 after he wrapped up co-directing on MOANA.)

Anyways, STRANGE WORLD being unsatisfactory to a lot of audiences isn’t necessarily Chapek’s doing. In fact I don’t want to finger-point at anyone, be it director Don Hall, or writer Qui Nguyen, or any of the producers or crew, or WDAS chief Jennifer Lee for that matter. They made a movie, they made decisions that they thought were right at the right time, and audiences just happened to reject it. It happens. Moviemaking isn’t elaborate conspiracies, like the internet filmsphere so likes to think that they are... Last year’s ENCANTO was completed under Chapek’s tenure as CEO, and it’s a beloved movie that did okay in theaters during the Delta variant and absolutely *exploded* on Disney+. RAYA did so-so as a theater release when things were slowly opening back up, and did excellently on Disney+... Also a Chapek-era release. Curiously, one of Bob Iger’s first moves was swiftly removing the chairman of Media and Entertainment Distribution Kareem Daniel. If STRANGE WORLD’s marketing failed to get audiences interested in the first place, that’s more on the marketing department than Chapek... And also audiences for not wanting to see it.

As much as it sucks to admit, animated family movies haven’t necessarily had it great post-outbreak in the theatrical market. It has a lot to do with money. In 2014, it was reported that the average American family goes to the movies maybe 4 times a year... Now imagine how choosier they are these days, what with streaming existing and the thought of “let’s wait til it comes to streaming” frequently crossing the minds of consumers. Only LIGHTYEAR, SING 2, and MINIONS Deux crossed $100m domestically... They’re all franchise entries featuring familiar characters. PUSS IN BOOTS Dos is likely to join the ranks too, along with THE SUPER MARIO BROS. MOVIE. You know, an adaptation of a little indie game that nobody at all knows about, nope, not at all, uh-uh... ACROSS THE SPIDER-VERSE ought to be the other big animated movie smash of 2023, TROLLS BAND TOGETHER (supposed title for TROLLS 3) should do fine, too.

THE BAD GUYS and ENCANTO got into the mid-90s in terms of domestic gross, one based on a Scholastic book series and the other an original story. The former opened post-SPIDER-MAN: NO WAY HOME, the latter just a little before that. If we’ll see an original* animated movie score well any time soon, it ought to be the next Pixar feature, the very familiar-looking ELEMENTAL. It’s got the “what if something was living in a city/factory world?” scenario, a love story, all that jazz. I think it’ll do well come summer 2023. I’m confident it’ll remain a theatrical release, too, but if it goes straight to Disney+? I’ll just be glad that it’s *finished* and it *exists*. After what David Zaslav has been doing at Warner Bros. Discovery, I’ll take whatever I can get. (I’m very bitter about SCOOB!: HOLIDAY HAUNT likely never seeing the light of day.)

* Before I go on, I use the word “original” in this context to describe an animated movie that’s not part of any long-running **film** franchise. THE BAD GUYS is obviously based on a book series, but that book has never been adapted into a movie before. Hence, it’s relatively original. I extend the same to an upcoming film like, say, THE TIGER’S APPRENTICE.

So, STRANGE WORLD likely won’t make it to the $100m domestic threshold. Maybe the studio’s next feature, WISH, will be the one to get back to those MOANA/TANGLED numbers, maybe FROZEN numbers if it really *really* resonates with the public. I feel WISH, ELEMENTAL, and MIGRATION (from Illumination and director Benjamin Renner) are the ones to cross that at the box office next year, maybe not. Maybe families and other moviegoers will remain choosy, and pick the Marvel and tentpole movies instead... So now, we’re left with the budget question.

DreamWorks got smart. After years of blowing $120m+ each time out on films like TURBO, MR. PEABODY & SHERMAN, and many more, DreamWorks found a way to keep their costs down. Compare THE CROODS and its $135m budget to the sequel’s $65m budget. No downgrade to be seen, it’s every bit as good-looking. Animated movies can’t just pull $500m worldwide out of a hat, just like that... And they now know very well. Lower cost doesn’t have to mean penny-pinching and cheaping out.

Sony Animation, Illumination, and Paramount Animation were pretty much already onboard this train or are boarding it at the moment.

It’s WDAS and Pixar who continue to blow so much on their movies. I get that a lot of the time, they’re flexing their tech and resources, but it shouldn’t be to the point where it puts unrealistic financial expectations on the films and might arguably even get in the way of stylistic variety and experimentation. WDAS makes very handsomely-crafted films with impressive feats, but to these eyes, TANGLED/FROZEN/MOANA/RAYA/ENCANTO might as well all be set in the same universe and be semi-sequels to one another. They’re all so samey-looking. STRANGE WORLD manages to kinda look like its own unique thing in comparison, in terms of the backgrounds and much cartoonier character design. At least Pixar has more variety in their features now: ONWARD, SOUL, LUCA, TURNING RED, LIGHTYEAR, even ELEMENTAL and the upcoming ELIO are varied in looks and styles. They feel like their respective directors’ distinct visions. This is true of DreamWorks and Sony, too. WAG and Paramount have multiple studios make their movies, so there’s difference in styles/visuals there. Illumination could surprise us with MIGRATION and future films of theirs, they could break from their typical art style.

Or in short, maybe STRANGE WORLD could’ve cost half of what it cost to make and it wouldn’t have had such an absurdly high bar to clear. A $337m gross, which is 2 1/2x the $135m budget, might not have been doable from the word-go. You know?

Hopefully *that* is the takeaway going forward, but given the way capitalism works, it likely won’t be.

[gallfawn]

SPOILERS FOR PUSS IN BOOTS THE LAST WISH!!!

I'm putting this here cause there's no way I'm putting this on twt(again...twt had nuff of my bullshit) or anything but I consider this a rant just because I can't, won't and do not want to spoil my friends about the movie but I'm too fixated on how well constructed it was.

First off, I was watching the first few scenes and oh my god. They brought in so many memorable takes from the first one which was so sweet!

My favorite was the "Ooh" cat popping up in the cat shelter.

I just realized that the sleeping giant seemed to be an example to amplify how big of a threat death was. The sleeping giant was a possible ploy, as it poses a great threat to the lands. However, Pib is met with someone who's able to fit in the same room as him. Someone that resembles himself, someone he couldn't possibly be, because it's someone we'll always end up meeting in the end, staring at it. It stares at us with its red beady eyes. Death himself.

The design for death. man. Man.

The scene where Pib(Puss in Boots) felt genuine fear from bleeding from his head. The red piercing eyes and the fucking strength he shows. From first glance I kinda knew he was death already, since his presence alone said a lot. I love how you don't even need so much to tell the audience what a character is meant to be perceived as. Giving them a few lines, visuals and subtle movements and cues are enough for the audience to pick up on it.

And of course, who could forget the portrayal of panic attacks. That one gets one of the stars for me. I love how they framed it as something that basically gets you in a way where you feel like you need to leave. You have to escape. You have to survive and live.

Each scene of the panic attacks occurring played important roles that constantly concern Pib and the viewers. We first become aware of the threat, how we know this threat could appear at any time. Now that–that's terrifying to think about. Which is true, death can come for us at any time which we least expect, which I really like how they were able to represent that as well.

The scene where Pib was worried about someone coming for him, aka Death, where he stares at the front door and sees a snout sniffing near it. I knew it couldn't be death at his door since it was well established that he was being hunted by the Goldi and the Three Bears. I like the detail where he's literally concerned that he constantly has to keep his eyes peeled twice now for something that's larger than life.

The first of the main characters that were introduced were Goldilocks and the three bears. First thing I thought, "she's hiding something isn't she. Oh she wants the wish, oh she wants to find her family again doesn't she?"

Then the second one was Perrito, love that lil guy. This dude breaks my heart honestly. I mean. Fuck man, something this innocent (well partly) gets hurt in every way and still does his best to forgive... I honestly like how he was introduced to Pib just cause they have contrasting personalities. I love how he's determined to be a therapy dog one day! Aaaaahhh

And then the third was Jack horner, yeah no. I got nothing else to say other than the fact that he looks like the guy from the lorax with dyed hair and power hungry issues. No need for me to predict shit at all. I hate that guy and his Mary Poppins, Doraemon ass bag. (They made a good villain, good job, I hate him👍)

And then the last if I'm not mistaken was Kitty Softpaws, so glad she was back around. But oof, damn exes unite huh. Thought about her wishing she could trust someone from the get-go. Of course, she was wishing for Pib, obviously.

I was honestly thinking throughout the movie, like what's the point? Right? You have one wish, but you have these people around you already. What could be so great that could potentially be a wish come true to them?

Except there was me hoping that Pib would at least get his lives back MAN. I WAS SOBBING.

To be fair, some areas were predictable where others weren't but I don't care. I loved it. I loved the hell out of it. I don't care about the cliche. I care about the story telling. What I could not predict was QUALITY AND WHOLE. And oh my goodness, don't get me started on that, the DESIGNS THE LIGHTING THE ANIMATION, THE FIGHT SCENES WERE SO WELL MADE SO WAS THE MUSIC ACCOMPANYING THE SCENES HEEEELL YEEEEEEAH.

THEY DELIVERED A CONCEPT THAT WORKED SO DAMN GOOOOOD!!

In the scene where the characters stood for the corners of the fucking star my god that was so smart. I was like "THEY PLANNED THIS ALL WAY TOO INTRICATELY I LOVE HOW EVERYTHING CONNECTS!"

I really like how the scenes weren't common. Like the fight scenes and everything. Where they take place and what kinds of combat could be possible with the equipment they're available with. I always love those kinds of combat.

We got like two found families except the other guy was just thirsty for world domination I guess. Yes I am insulting you, jack horner. Edna mode would kick your ass tbh. (Sorry I'm salty, I hate him, he was mean to Mr. Grasshopper cricket thing who I assume we might see again so that he gets united with Pinocchio, cause that was the first thing I thought)

The references are pretty good too. The jokes, the one liners were fantastic. I love how some of the humor transcends old style humor and some of the common ones today.

I was sobbing for almost the entire film cause of how well written and made it was. Jeez.

Wait, I think I've already done this before...huh deja vu.

Anyhow if I remember anything else I'll probably add it but whatever!

#puss in boots

[andrews-reviews-and-thoughts]

Andrew’s Thoughts on Mary Poppins Returns, The Wind Rises, and Ponyo

Thoughts on Mary Poppins Returns: An 8/10. It may have ended up feeling like the original too much with its similar and kind-of predictable story, and have an unnecessary and not well developed villain, but it successfully retained the feel of the original with its charming tone, songs that are rather memorable and do feel like they came from Mary Poppins (though maybe not in the same levels as the original), nice performances from the cast, including Emily Blunt, Lin Manuel Miranda, and a cameo from Dick van Dyke, and great visuals and choreography, especially with the hand-drawn sequence.

Thoughts on The Wind Rises: As Hayao Miyazaki’s final film (maybe), he left off on a big bang. The movie shows the life of Jiro, a young man who ends up designing airplanes for the Japanese military. But Jiro doesn’t make planes that are ultimate weapons or make planes for the sake of his country, he merely wants to create something that is beautiful, which unfortunately ends up paining him that something beautiful becomes corrupted for destruction. The idea of something beautiful being easily corruptible is a big theme of the film, and can provide tons of stuff to think about. The film also shows the relationship between Jiro and Nahoko, and without spoiling the movie, it definitely provides an emotional and heartbreaking part of the film.

   Of course the backgrounds, character design, and animation is as good as it always is, but what makes this stand out is how it shows the elegancy of a plane in flight, along with the dream sequences providing some creativity. It may not have as much innovating moments as the other Studio Ghibli movies, but it probably wouldn’t be considered a bad thing. I’ve already discussed Jiro and technically Nahoko, but there are also other characters. There could be a possibility that they’re overshadowed by the main two characters, but they still get enough screentime for us to look at them. Honjo is Jiro’s friend who’s pessimistically dismayed about Japan’s technology being behind other countries; Kurokawa is Jiro’s hot-tempered boss, though he isn’t too heartless; Kayo is Jiro’s sister who wants to become a doctor and tries to help out Nahoko; and Mr. Castorp is an interesting character who helps out a bit with the romance between Nahoko and Jiro, while also presenting himself as a mysterious figure who may know more than we think (possibly a German or Soviet official on the run). (On a sidenote, there is something in Castorp’s voice that I can’t help but associate with the word snake. You’d get what I mean through watching either the English or Japanese dub.) In short, The Wind Rises is a great film, and could be considered Miyazaki’s equivalent to Isao Takahata’s Grave of the Fireflies. Story: 10/10. Animation: 9 or 10/10. Characters: 9 or 10/10. Overall: 9 or 10/10.

 Finally, to end off on a positive note, I’ll try to discuss Ponyo. Ooh boy, was that a Weird one. Honestly, I’m not sure how I should feel. With the odd childlike tone, the characters treating almost everything nonchalantly or acting oddly and not like expected, and some parts of the story feeling unexplained or more serious than other parts, it makes it seem not as great as the other Ghibli movies. But maybe I’m just being crazy and am failing to see how this could be a nice film to be enjoyed by children, I don’t know. As for the characters, other than what I said, they’re mostly two-dimensional and not as complex as other Ghibli characters, with some feeling like there could have been development for them. As for the animation, it has a more kid-friendly feel like it came from a kids book, but still has the good stuff from other Ghibli films, with a nice and creative look for the sealife. Story: 7/10. Animation: 10/10. Characters: 6/10. Overall: 8 or 7 or 7.5/10.

Random Lines At End: 1: Kurokawa: Jiro, let’s go get some coffee. Jiro: But, I’ve got to go to a... Kurokawa: Cancel it. (Closes door.) 2 (in Japanese): Kurokawa: Jiro, we need to talk. Jiro: I’ve got a meeting. Kurokawa: Cancel it. (Closes door.) 3 (English): Jiro: Schubert’s Winter Journey. (Audio plays.) Honjo: Well, that’s perfect for us. A masterpiece of misery and woe.

#studio ghibli #hayao miyazaki #ponyo #the wind rises #mary poppins #mary poppins returns #animation #review

[silenthillmutual]

For the film questions 📽: 2, 10, 14, 20, 28

2. What was the first movie you ever remember watching on theaters?

oh boy. i didn't really have the wherewithal growing up to remember much of my theater-going experience, so the earliest movie i actually have memories of going and watching in theaters was spiderman-2 when i was in like...sixth grade. i know i saw films in theaters before then, but i don't have any concrete visuals of them. i definitely remember sitting in the theater with my friend michelle watching spiderman-2 though, and thinking it was neat i could say "oh i met her" about one of the actors because of what i'd been up to at the time!

10. A movie that not many have heard that you’ve seen

i'm not really sure what to say for this because i haven't seen a ton of experimental film that would truly be something people haven't heard of. i think the weirdest things i've seen (un chien andalou, eraserhead) are pretty well known. the best i can do for this is older films like freaks or m or films not in the english language that i watched for film classes like to live or the enigma of kaspar hauser...but those are presumably more well-known outside of the us. so i guess i need some recommendations of truly out there films to watch!

14. VHS, DVD or Blu-Ray?

i was trying to think about this from an archival standpoint but i don't actually know off the top of my head which format is the best for preservation, because all digital media degrades. vhs tapes are really nostalgic for me, but even growing up mine would wear out over time. i haven't seen mary poppins in ages because my tape went to static the last time i watched it, when i was... i don't know, ten? i also don't really know the functional difference between a dvd and a blu-ray. i can watch both on my ps4, and i tend to get whatever's cheapest. i think... that i would take dvds over vhs's simply because of the subtitles.

20. A movie that was better than the book

i've actually gotten into a slump recently where i haven't read as much as i'd like to, so my opinions on this one are pretty limited. i also tend to be hyper critical of adaptations, so like...the two that really come to mind as enjoying the film more than the book are bridget jones's diary and slumdog millionaire. i remember still enjoying the books for what they were, but i had a better time with their films. i also haven't seen or read either of them in a good long while, so my comparisons may be kind of flimsy.

28. Favorite animated movie

akira. was there ever any doubt?

ty for the ask! [movie asks]

#go-go-devil #about the blogger

[jacaranda-bloom]

FIC WRITER QUESTIONS

Thank you to the lovely @allwaswell16 @runaway-train-works @so-why-let-your-voice-be-tamed @uhoh-but-yeah-alright and @evilovesyou for tagging me to answer some questions about my writing.

1) How many works do you have on AO3?

47

2) What’s your total AO3 word count?

901,445 (Hoping to hit the Magic Million by the end of the year!)

3) How many fandoms have you written for and what are they?

1 (One Direction)

4) What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

When Tomorrow Comes 1155

The Baby Whisperer 950

Love, Ever After 898

Harry Poppins 856

Play Me A Memory 760

More under the cut…

5) What’s the fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending?

Oh gosh. Uhm. I don’t really write angsty endings? All my fics have Happy Endings and most have epilogues to round them out and tie them up in a bow. Perhaps I’d say If You’re Out There (I’ll Find You Somehow) purely because (spoiler ahead) the epilogue is written 100 years into the future so they’ve both passed.

6) What’s the fic you’ve written with the happiest ending?

Interestingly, I would actually say the answer is the same as above, If You’re Out There (I’ll Find You Somehow). The epilogue is so uplifting and I cry happy tears every time I re-read it. It’s written from the POV of their granddaughter and you get to see the world they had a hand in changing for the better through her eyes, so you get a sense of how impactful their lives were on the rest of society. Oof, tearing up right now just thinking about it.

7) Do you write crossovers? If so what is the craziest one you’ve written?

Yeah, I have actually. I really enjoy doing new takes on an existing universes, although they aren’t always the easiest thing to pull off tbh. I’m not sure which I would say is the craziest, but the hardest to write was definitely The Peter Pan/Hook AU.

Harry Poppins - Loosely based on the book/movie Mary Poppins, but without any magical aspects.

Playing To Win - Set in the Big Brother house.

The Pirate and The Piper - A Peter Pan/Hook AU which I took a lot of liberties with.

In The Still Of The Night - My Dirty Dancing AU.

A Hungry Heart - This is a Great British Bake Off AU that is due out in September for the Cliche Fic Fest!

8) Do you write smut? If so what kind?

Whoa Nelly. Yeah, I do. All the time. Every fic actually. There’s only one, Exposed, the only fic I’ve published that’s not rated Explicit and doesn’t have smut. But, to be fair, the challenge was to write exactly 666 words and I still managed to get the implication in there. Plus, Louis was naked and Harry was applying body paint for the majority of the story, so like, I think I can get a free pass on that one - I tried!

In terms of what type of smut, I guess it varies depending on the story. I tend not to push the boat out too far, but I do dabble in BDSM in quite a few of my fics. A recurring theme in the comments I receive is that my smut scenes are well constructed and detailed, without being too tedious or drawn out, which is lovely feedback to get because they can be challenging to write.

9) Do you respond to comments, why or why not?

Absolutely. Every single one.

10) Have you ever received hate on a fic?

Not often, people are usually so kind, but there have been a couple.

11) Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not that I’m aware of!

12) Have you ever had a fic translated?

Yeah, quite a lot, particularly on Wattpad, all with my full consent. That said, I’m thinking of stopping this because it’s getting a bit out of hand and I’ve been feeling uncomfortable about it recently for various reasons that I won’t bore you with here. 

13) Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Nope! I don’t think it’s really my thing tbh. I get very in my head about writing and struggle even to brainstorm or share too much until I’m well into a story.

14) What’s your all time favorite ship?

Of the 47 fics I’ve written, there are 45 Larry, 1 Narry, and 1 Louis/Dermot O’Leary (I think mine is still the only fic with this ship hahahaa), so that’s probably a good indication of my fave writing ship.

15) What’s a WIP that you want to finish but don’t think you ever will?

I have one lonely WIP sitting on AO3 from 2018. I keep promising myself I’ll finish it and it’s on my schedule every year, then I get distracted by other fics/fests and it gets pushed back. Plus, it needs a complete rewrite because my style has developed so much since I started it, so it’ll be a big job. Based on that, I think that the fic, in its current form, won’t ever be finished as the rewrite will completely wipe out what it was, although the underlying plot will still be there.

16) What are your writing strengths?

World building (or so I’m often told). I write very visually and people often say they can imagine the scene exactly, or that it’s like a movie, or that they think it’s actually a real place I’m describing, when most of the time it absolutely isn’t, it’s just something I’ve created in my weird brain.

17) What are your writing weaknesses?

Dialogue (although my lovely beta disagrees) and telling rather than showing. They’re both things I’m actively working on.

18) What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?

I’ve never really considered it. It’s not something I’d shy away from necessarily, but it’s just never come up.

19) What was the first fandom you wrote for?

One Direction. First and only.

20) What’s your favorite fic you’ve written?

Wow. This is really tough because it changes over time. I find that once I’ve finished a fic I don’t want to revisit it for a few months because I’m kind of over it. But I find comfort in them after a while, like I get to go back to that happy place and immerse myself in that world and the characters again, similar to catching up with an old friend. It’s familiar. I think I also like different stories for different reasons and I’m drawn to various ones depending on my mood. My top 3 (although, ask me next week and the list will probably be completely different!) would probably be:

1. If You’re Out There (I’ll Find You Somehow). Written for the hybrid fic fest (a fest I created just for this fic lol). It’s not everyone’s cup of tea due to the hybrid aspect, but it’s one of the stories I feel is the most rounded from a character development perspective and the world building was pretty epic, if I can be so bold as to throw that out there myself!

2. No Going Back. One of my Big Bangs from 2020. I adore the way their relationship develops in this fic and the setting (as remote lighthouse keepers) was such a lot of fun to write. Plus I got to collaborate with an amazing artist who created an entire website as an accompanying travel blog which was truly wonderful.

3. From The Heart. This is a series I wrote for wordplay back in 2019. I had no idea that what I was doing was so unusual and so meta by having Louis essentially write for the equivalent of wordplay in the fic. It was such an fun way to share my writing process and challenges I encounter (exactly how many synonyms tabs do I have open at any one time?!) and I thoroughly enjoyed the outcome (although getting there was definitely a struggle).

~

This was really fun and thanks to anyone who made it this far! Writing brings me so much joy and is a wonderful outlet for all the imaginings in my head, so I appreciate everyone who supports me and joins me on that journey.

~

I’m pretty late with this and I’m not sure who has already done it but I’ll tag @fallinglikethis @homosociallyyours @lululawrence @reminiscingintherain and @beau-soleil-louis if they’d like to do this and haven’t already.

#August 13 2021 #fic writer questions #tag games #this was really fun!

[blookmallow]

well. ok,

so uh. i guess new mary poppins overall, acting wasnt bad, songs werent bad but were pretty much forgettable, costumes were great, but it just like. followed the exact same beats as the original and told the same story again but worse, so i just dont understand what they were even trying to Do here (i mean. the answer, i assume, is 'make money off a property they have access to')

like. i feel like i gained nothing from watching it and would not watch it again. it wasnt bad enough to be funny but wasnt good enough to be engaging. the visuals were nice but not enough to carry it. theres a difference i think between an homage and just. Here's The Same Thing Again. like. remember jolly holiday? heres that but its a china bowl world and nothing makes sense and it doesnt have the heart in it at all. its also just vaguely uncomfortable and kind of threatening for no reason. remember the chimneysweeps? heres some lamp lighters who are ok but not nearly as fun. remember lets go fly a kite? now its balloons and slightly weirder. i dont understand why this movie was made

#lucy watches all the disney #BOY am i glad thats over with fsjdg

[leam1983]

Rewatched "Hocus Pocus" with the folks...

It was a muggy and cold Friday, we had nothing better to do and the TV's Netflix app was acting up. I could've fixed it, but Mom was impatient. So... Off to the Mouse's demesne we went, and she randomly picked the best Bette Midler vehicle to ever exist. Here's a few random thoughts.

You can really tell the production company only managed to finagle a few weeks around Salem. The daytime scenes sort of track (although a lot of 'em were actually shot in Marblehead, Mass.) but the rest of the movie has that specifically closed-off feeling that really screams "Shot in Burbank, California". It's kind of fittingly hokey; with quaint little New England towns sort of melding into the nineties' idea of a spooky set: dead trees, lots of moss, random headstones, a bajillion fog machines working in tandem.

The movie sort of feels like a horror flick that's had its teeth pulled out, too. I couldn't put my finger on it as a kid, but having grown up and having watched Lawrence Gordon and Bryan Yzna's Necronomicon and Mick Garris' Masters of Horror, I could really dial in the impression I had: this is the work of horror movie buffs dialing their schtick down for the sake of easy Disney cred - and none of that seems to diminish the black-hearted, cackling fun at the heart of the movie. Unsurprisingly, Mick Garris was one of Hocus Pocus' producers. The movie's visual language screams "nineties' horror movie". No wonder I keep pairing viewings of it with Nimoy's The Halloween Tree - that other kids' vehicle gives me the same basic feeling.

I like how anchored it is in the nineties. The shoes the town bullies steal from Max feel amusingly retro, now - and Ernie/ICE (Larry Bagby) feels very coded in 1993's trends. It's just another movie among many that showcase just how bonkers the entire decade was, culturally. For similar vibes on the West Coast, give Hocus Pocus an Encino Man chaser.

My father's a very... credulous movie-watcher. Kathy Najimy affects a sort of goofy facial palsy as Mary Sanderson, and keeps it up as any well-trained character actor would. Dad honestly asked us if Najimy had the same condition as Jean Chrétien, one of Canada's former PMs - made famous for his lisp and crooked mouth. Having watched Sex and the City with Mom a few years back, he needed a few appearances for Sarah Sanderson's actress to really dial in.

Yes, Dad; that's Sarah Jessica Parker acting like a total airhead. Yes, Dad; you're basically watching actresses usually known for snarky deliveries camping it up decades before "camp icons" would become a mainstream concept - and yes, Winifred, Sarah and Mary are a few gags short of the Three Stooges, Except Evil. Yes, I always thought that was intentional.

Apart from the Sisters, the rest of the cast feels... meh. It's like you're watching The Mask, except the plot's designed to toss Bighead out the window and put the focus on Ipkiss. Of all the meh-sters of their craft at work, I'd have to give a big-ol' fist-bump to Omri Katz as Max Dennison, for not really bringing flesh to the basic arc of the big-city-kid-who-hates-it-here-and-who-comes-around-through-shenanigans. It's there, it works, but it sort of lacks soul.

Surprisingly, Thora Birch wasn't completely terrible, except maybe for her character's reaction for Max's dismissal being to bodily toss herself onto a pile of pumpkins and cry. I mean - who does that?! I was a Halloween diehard as a kid who's get sick before running the neighbourhood and who'd faint in his chair while his mother was putting greasepaint on him, as desperately eager as I was! If someone had ruined Halloween for me, I'd keep it in for the candy run and then ruin my facepaint while ugly-crying with my mouth stuffed with too many fun-sized Reese peanut butter cups.

On the plus side, the movie having originally been a Disney Channel production allowed the team to work in a ton of cameos. The Dennisons' costume party features a Program from Tron, in a blink-and-you'll-miss-it moment.

There's something to Bette Midler's Winifred that makes me hope she's prototyped that high-energy, ultra-camp poshness with kids, before actually trying for screen tests. The lead Sanderson Sister feels like Mary Poppins gone horribly, wonderfully wrong - to the point where I'd hope she's been given occasion to play her outside of the movie, at least once or twice.

#random thoughts #hocus pocus #sanderson sisters #winifred #disney #1990s #childhood faves

[carriagelamp]

Book Review - Summer Summary 2020

I didn’t get around to doing an individual post for the books I read in June/July/August, so I decided to choose a dozen that I read over the summer... I’d separate the wheat from the chaff for you so to speak. Though like you’re about to find out, that doesn’t necessarily mean they were all good by any means...

Crave

My girlfriend got this for me to “tide me over until Midnight Sun”. Between you and me, I think she was taking the piss. Anyway, Crave is very... standard fare paranormal YA school romance with the added flare of being written by an adult erotica writer, meaning the rhythm and tone of this novel is fucking bonkers. If you want to read the novel without reading the novel, just take Twilight and the entire Vampire Academy series, shove them in a blend, and force down the sludge you get from that. Normal Average Girl Goes To Secret School In Alaska For Vampire, Werewolves and Dragons. That’s this book. It is so big and so so so bad. I finished it out of spite, please don’t do that to yourself. Unless you are really craving (hurr hurr) some top tier trashy paranormal romance, in which case... no judgment.

The Last Firehawk

The Last Firehawk is a Scholastic “Branches” series, written for beginning readers (grade 1-3ish, depending on the child’s reading level). It has short stories, big text, and awesome pictures on every page. Guys. I unironically am adoring this series. It’s simple and is introducing children to a number of classic elements in the fantasy quest genre, but it is so charming. Friends Tag and Skyla discover a firehawk egg, and species that is supposed to have disappeared long ago. When Blaze hatches from it, the three are tasked with going out and finding the magical ember stone which was hidden long ago by the firehawks and which could be used to defeat the evil vulture Thorn and his dark magic... I read the first two books to second graders who ate it up and read the next four books because I personally wanted to continue the series. If you have young readers in your life (or just want a fun kid adventure) then please try these they’re the literary equivalent of nibbling on a chocolate chip cookie.

Lupin III: World’s Most Wanted #3

All the kind people that still follow my tumblr and haven’t tried to murder me because of my Lupin obsession are not going to be surprised by this one. I finally read one of the manga for this series and honestly I’m delighted. Somehow even hornier than the show, but hilariously funny. I felt like I was reading a more adult version of Spy Vs Spy. It’s a bunch of short, individual bits/adventures with lots of visual gags and an artstyle that is really different and delightful.

River of Teeth / Taste of Marrow (American Hippo series)

I’ve talked about River of Teeth before, but I finally finished the American Hippo duology and need to sing its praise. This is an alternate history series composed of two novellas that explore the question What would have happened if the States had decided to import hippos as livestock...? Anyways, my pitch for you: queer hippo cowboys. That’s all it took for me to read it. You have a gay gunslinger who loves his hippo to death, a nonbinary explosives-expert / poisoner who is the main love interest, a fat con artist who spoils her hippo and is the only voice of reason in this entire series, and a latina mother-to-be who is the scariest assassin in the entire series and is obviously scheming. The four of them are brought together on a job to deal with the Mississippi’s feral hippo problem.

IT’S A QUEER HIPPO COWBOY HEIST NOVEL GUYS I DON’T KNOW WHY I’M STILL TALKING AND YOU HAVEN’T JUST GONE TO READ THIS YET.

Petals to the Metal (The Adventure Zone series)

The graphic novel adaptation to the McElroy family’s DND podcast The Adventure Zone. Most of you are probably aware of this? It’s a great adaptation, it hits all the important beats, shows off the characters really well, and still gets lots of good gags in even while condensing entire arcs into single book stories. This one is probably my favourite so far just because Petals to the Metal was one of my favourite arcs in the show... but you can also see how the art has improved and the chaos of the race is fun to see drawn out.

If you like The Adventure Zone but haven’t tried the graphic novels yet -- would recommend! If you’ve always wanted to listen to The Adventure Zone but don’t have time for such a long series or struggle to focus on podcasts then pick up the first book of this series (Here There Be Gerblins) and try reading it! It really is an enjoyable adaptation.

Pony to the Rescue (Pony Pals series)

I continued my April/May theme of reading old-school chapter book series to combat Covid Brain Fry, so I picked up a few Pony Pals books. I read these as a kid and always enjoy them -- there’s just something so appealing to a child about having a horse. It gives your child characters a level of independence and ability to explore that you wouldn’t get otherwise. These books definitely read young, but they were nostalgic to revisit.

Small Spaces

A really cool middle grade horror novel I picked up. Maybe it’s because I live around a lot of corn fields, but farm/scarecrow themed horror absolutely does it for me. One evening, after seeing a woman try to destroy a strange, old book, eleven year old Ollie doesn’t stop to think, instead stealing the book and running. That’s how she becomes wrapped up in the strange, sinister story of a cursed family and creature called the Smiling Man that seems to live out in the foggy fields. While unsettling, Ollie tries to remind herself that it’s just a story... but this becomes more challenging when her school bus breaks down one day out their own set of fields, and a fog is rolling in...

“Avoid large spaces. Stick to small.”

Snot Girl #1 - #2

A Canadian graphic novel series by the creator of the Scott Pilgrim series! I love his work so I decided to give Snotgirl a try, even though it’s not generally my genre. I’m glad I did! First book took a while for me to get into, but by the time I hit the second I was really wrapped up in the mystery and character development. Snotgirl is about Lottie, a self-consumed fashion blogger whose biggest struggles are dealing with her allergies, frustration with her fellow-blogger friends, and how entirely her self-esteem is tied to her “beauty” and how people view her. But everything shifts in strange and horrifying ways when Lottie starts taking a new allergy medication, meets a new friend... and then witnesses that girl’s death. Or does she?

Seriously, or does she? I have no idea, I need to read the third book. This book is full of intrigue, complicated relationships, murder (or not?), and a healthy dose of magical realism to keep you guessing. If you like slice-of-life, crime, and abstract reality then this series is world a try. Plus the art is gorgeous.

Summer Wars #1 - #2

I recently rewatched Summer Wars (still one of my favourite movies) and decided to read the two-book manga adaptation. It was a really neat little adaptation. The creator of the movie gave the writer free range to tweak things to fit better in a manga format, which means some movie elements were allowed to fade into the background, whereas other aspects were fulled into the forefront and fleshed out to a greater degree. It was very cool, it kept the same story but gave you new things to think about which I wasn’t expecting. Reading this as a stand alone works just fine, but honestly if you’ve never watched the movie Summer Wars you should give it a try! It’s a great mix of slice-of-life, sprawling family dynamics that I relate to a little too well, cyber adventures, and fantasy. Super feel good.

This One Summer

Okay, last graphic novel, I swear. This One Summer was... weird and intense. It’s a coming-of-age Canadian graphic novel that follows a pair of pre-teens who meet up like they do every year at their family’s summer cottages. You see them both in the awkward phases between childhood and growing up to become teenagers, as they’re confronted with things like maturity, friendship, self-esteem, family problems, and sexuality. A beautiful read, but probably the heaviest out of all the books on my list.

Wild Thornberrys Novelization

I rewatched The Wild Thornberrys movie with my girlfriend earlier this year, and decided I wanted to hunt down the chapter book novelization because I’m kind of a sucker for novelizations. Honestly, this was about what you would expect from the era. 90s/00s novelizations, especially young novelizations, are generally just a transcript of the movie without much thought or effort put into them to make them anything but. That’s what this was. It was fine, and it really let me revisualize the entire movie, but honestly you’re probably better off just rewatching the movie unless you also really deeply love The Wild Thornberrys.

The Willoughbys

I saw that Netflix had done a funky looking adaptation of The Willoughbys and I decided I needed to read the book first before watching the movie. This was a little bizarre, I’m still not sure how I feel about it. Over all, I think it was a net-positive experience. It’s an obvious satire on classic children’s novels, especially the likes of Mary Poppins (real Mary Poppins, not the Disney version) and while a little heavy-handed, it does a Series of Unfortunate Events vibe that redeems it. The story is about a group of horrible children (The Ruthless Willoughbys) who decide they are sick of their parents and would rather become Worth Orphans... and to do that, they’re going to have to dispose of their inconvenient parents, obviously. Conveniently their parents are also sick of having children and decide to do away with them as well. The Willoughbys sets up three (or four?) different subplots that are gradually woven together through a series of schemes and exploits. It’s definitely more ruthless (hurr hurr) than the Netflix version, which tried to make the children more sympathetic, and in some ways I think that’s a definite point in the novel’s favour. I’m not sure I would go out of my way to recommend it, but it was a fun romp if you want something short and off the wall (and a lot more fleshed out than the Netflix version).

#book review #book reviews #the willoughbys #the wild thornberrys #lupin iii #scott pilgrim #snotgirl #bryan lee o'malley #this one summer #small spaces #pony pals #crave #the last firehawk #river of teeth #taste of marrow #american hippo #summer wars #petals to the metal #taz #novels #manga #graphic novels #children literature #kid lit #chatter

[found--family]

Kid!Dean in 15.14

Dean's narrative in Last Holiday was really well written, and now that I've had time to read some meta and reflect on things I appreciate certain elements of the story that I thought were OOC on first watch. 

It starts out with him in caretaker role - wearing an apron while cooking dinner and fixing clunky pipes - and then as soon as Mrs. Butters enters the scene we see him relegated to *kid Dean* by many visual and textual elements such as his Scoobydoo underthings, being chastised for swearing, and accused of wearing unclean (smelly) clothing, ie. all things you would expect of a child requiring some parental caretaking. 

We go from Dean referencing him and Sam dealing with the Biggest Bads (Hitler and Lucifer) to telling Mrs. Butters it's been *one apocalypse after another* and her response being both understanding and motivated: she knows how busy their work can be, and how self-care can fall by the wayside, and that they deserve all the domestic bliss she can drum up. 

Dean's childlike state-of-being continues throughout the episode as Mrs. Butters assumes responsibility for all domestic duties: his giddiness (and innocence) over his very own Scoobydoo sleeping robe; uncontainable excitement for the Christmas-decorated bunker; the request for rice crispy treats (in place of cake, which when viewed as a bi!dean symbol makes sense for being overlooked by the embodiment of pre-teen-Dean choosing a classic childhood treat instead); joy for homecooked meals with family around the table; smiles at a packed lunch as he heads off to save the world from monsters (minus the investigation/minus the consequences, just like a child at make-believe playtime); playing with his vegetables during Thanksgiving dinner; joy over a grilled cheese sandwich (a perfectly simple but nonetheless wholesome homemade comfort food); the repair of the TV in the Dean Cave™ (a grown man's fort); Dean's plan to free him and Jack from captivity (very *boys will boys*, ie. fun/experimentation often results in injury). 

Now, Dean can and has done all the everyday things Mrs. Butters does: laundry, cooking, fixing things, and not least of all taking care of Sammy (the brotherly teasing was not new, but it did take on a childish air in light of the episode; and Dean not calling Sam for help because he was with Eileen speaks to him putting Sammy's happiness above his own personal safety, which is the Dean we all know). But taking the time, effort (and if it weren't for the magic, money) to celebrate various holidays isn't something they're used to - and as mentioned this episode, the Hunter's Life™ has never really let them slow down enough to enjoy such things (at least not regularly) but that goes way back to Sam and Dean's childhood being void of such (-what may have been insisted by John as-) trivialities or distractions. Mrs. Butters gives Sam and Dean the chance to live the festive childhood they never experienced, as well as infusing the festive celebrations into Jack's childhood (which feels like papa!Sam and papa!Dean improving John's parenting in that regard but not yet because they didn't actually instigate this happy turn of events..). 

But we're also reminded that Dean is /not/ a child: Mrs. Butters gives him tomato juice and remarks on his cholesterol; Mrs. Butters teases him about his age and want for his own birthday party treats; plus a few other minor instances - one I noticed was Mrs. Butters watching Dean carve his pumpkin with concern (for just a moment) as he uses a big knife to do the deed (we also don't see any pattern in that pumpkin because it's still whole, which may be viewed as a lack of whimsical imagination, ie. no-longer-innocent-Dean, or maybe representing Dean not having opened up/carved his feelings out (yet; ie. to Jack) but that's 100% fun wild musings on my part). But /not/ being a child is still not a bad thing (despite Dean's face falling every time it's mentioned) because he still has someone taking care of him (the juice) and indulging him for his birthday (rice krispy treats) like a parent would a child. 

And let's not overlook the magical aspect: Dean refers to Mrs. Butters as *Mary Poppins*, a classic childhood movie. She uses magic to go about her domestic duties, but that magic is also imbued into the Bunker itself (the Geoscope™, the Monster Radar™) and when she leaves her magic leaves with her, the fantasy home reduced back to the relative banality of reality in the Bunker (same could be said for her absence of caretaking). But she leaves the boys with the lesson learned that they should take time to celebrate each other (as well as a few choice lines to each of the boys, which I meta'd a little in this post). 

By the end, we see Dean resuming his caretaker role (wearing the apron again, and Sam remarks how Dean *loves that apron* which is true: Dean is a natural caregiver and loves taking care of his family) as he presents Jack (his son) with a homemade birthday cake. This is Dean choosing to celebrate the "trivial" domesticity they never did before, ie. it's no longer Mrs. Butters at the helm, therefore this act can be counted as Dean improving on his own upbringing. 

And I know we gawk at Dean's lopsided cake because - as proved at the beginning of the ep where he aces homemade burgers plus countless previous examples: he does have decent cooking skills! - surely he could manage a simple cake? Alas, no. Pie, maybe. But cake is a distinctly celebratory creation and this episode makes it clear they've never taken the time to stop and celebrate - because the world was in danger.. because one or more of them were in near-constant danger or of no mind to celebrate anything.. because they lived on the road.. because John never stopped to celebrate such things with them. 

This is perhaps the first cake Dean has ever baked. It's no Mrs. Butters masterpiece, as he mentions, but the thought counts - it means a helluva lot not just as the start of their own festive celebrations as a family, but also as a reiteration of Dean's words to Jack: he's trying, and Jack smiles! And despite lack of skill, Dean's effort and love and pride (and childlike decorations of icing-words and rainbow sprinkles) are the epitome of a child's creation and therefore should not be viewed in a harsh light. Dean gets points for trying! 

The icing on the cake (heh) is the penultimate closing shot of Dean telling Jack to *make a wish*. Wishes, miracles, unexpected and fortunate magic - they're not exactly commonplace Good™ in their lives. Hard work and sacrifice is what has always gotten them What and Where they need to be, but this moment isn't about Need; a birthday wish is all about Want. It's a little bit of fanciful magic, some wishful thinking reserved for children, not Hunters, yet Dean sincerely wants Jack to embrace his childhood in this moment. 

.. and it may be the last chance he gets to do so! :o

#spn 15x14 #watchnotes #caretaker dean #kid dean #meta #15x14 #mrs butters #papa dean #s15 #jack #childhood #big kid dean

[smokeybrandreviews]

Smokey brand Movie Reviews: Drawn That Way

Tom and Jerry was awful, man. I don’t like Tom and Jerry in general, never a fan of the cartoons or anything, but this movie that just got released was the absolute worst. There are A LOT of reasons why this was such a hard watch, and i went over several in my reviews of that sh*tshow, but my biggest issue was the fact that the integration of animation and live action never meshed. Its not like there weren’t films that totally nailed this aesthetic that they couldn’t pull from. Off the top of my head, Space Jam, Cool World, and Mary Poppins all immediately come to mind but the best to ever do it, and one of my all-time favorite films, is definitely Who Framed Roger Rabbit? I made a reference to this flick in my Tom and Jerry review because the comparison is kind of hard not to make but i wanted to make sure that contrast was fair. Was i fondly looking back on Roger Rabbit through the rose tinted, perspective killing, lenses of nostalgia or was it truly as excellent as i remember? I had to know so i rifled through my old collection of DVDs and found my Collector’s edition of a movie i watched so much as a kid, my mom had to but three copies of it on VHS because i literally played them to death.

The Outstanding

These characters are outstanding. I started to list them individually but, b the time i was finished, all of the principal cast had made it in this section so i opted to just make this one entry instead. Roger, Jessica, Eddie, Herman, Benny, Judge Doom, the Weasels; All of these characters are timeless and fantastic editions to the American cinematic zeitgeist.

The live action and animation integration is the best I've ever seen on film. There is a weight to the interaction of the actors and the cartoons that you rarely see in films like this. The artists in post made that extra effort to fill the void in missed cues or weird physics gaffs, adding to the reality of this world. It was incredibly effective and made for a more authentic watch. Stuff never felt as meticulous or curated, like, the real people were real people and the Toons were Toons and it felt “real” in the sense that they would interact with the world in completely different ways. Nothing the Toons interacted with really felt floaty or the real people interacting with toon stuff felt fake or pantomimed. The technical aspects of this film are absolutely brilliant and lacking in films of it’s kin, that came after.

The Great

I spoke about the characters previously but they’re nothing without exceptional performances to bring them to life. You have to match the energy of a rubber faced, carton rabbit or the sultry, curvy, man-eating, redhead and these this cast does an exceptional job of that. Charles Fleischer was perfectly cast as Roger Rabbit, Benny the Cab, and Greasy, and Psycho. Dude really was the workhorse of this film, man. Lou Hirsch was hilarious as Herman the baby while Kathleen Turner killed it as Jessica Rabbit, though she went uncredited the role, and i have a particular fondness for David Lander‘s Smartass. Dude was my favorite character when i was kid and Lander’s performance went a long way to making that happen. I also have to mention the immortal Bob Hoskins as well. Even though he wasn’t a cartoon, his Eddie Valiant was the perfect foil to Roger’s madcap antics. None of this would have worked if Hoskins didn't have the wherewithal to play Eddie as straight as he did. That said, my absolute favorite performance belongs to...

Christopher Lloyd as Judge f*cking Doom. Holy sh*t, was this dude terrifying to me as a kid! Up to this point, Christopher Lloyd, for me, was Doc Brown. He was this goofy, weirdly voiced, lovable scamp of an older dude. The second i realized he was Judge Doom my perception of his ability changed considerably. Everything that Doc Brown is, Doom ain’t. This cat is sinister, sadistic, cruel, and absolutely out of his f*cking mind; A reality that Lloyd hone to a focused point which he used to stab at my young emotions. Dude was a straight up terror, delighting in the slow, tortuous, death of Toons in the dip, only to go full nutbag after getting steam-rolled. Bro, that scene? That scene f*cked me up for years! It was pure trauma for five-year-old me and, even today, makes me grimace a little bit. One of the best and most underrated antagonist performances I've ever seen on film.

The writing is completely on point. It had to be. There were quotas on time for every cartoon cameo i this thing and they needed to be worked into the script organically. That, alone, is enough to earned recondition but, beyond that, this film was a solid showing in it’s own right. It’s a great murder mystery with enough intrigued and gaff to enthrall kids while simultaneously, engaging adults. Roger Rabbit was based on a book so there was an established narrative to pull from but the adapted screenplay is truly brilliant, not only on a narrative level with it’s simplicity, but on a technical one with the character complexity.

A dope script can only go so far without a proper eye to guide the action and Robert Zemeckis did a fantastic job in the big chair with this one. The Eighties and Nineties found Zemeckis at the height of his powers but Roger Rabbit is one his best showings, hands down. To visualize all of these Toons interacting with real actors, to box out those scenes properly in order to get the necessary performances our of his actors with nothing there, is a true testament to how clearly this cat could see his narrative. Dude has fallen by the wayside in recent years, that Witches remake was decent but nowhere near as awesome as Back to the Future and Forrest Gump, but Roger Rabbit shows what he can do when he’s firing on all cylinders.

The world of Roger rabbit is so goddamn lush and full of rich characters that i immediately fell in love with it. That unique perspective from the book, vividly brought to life onscreen, was incredible to see, especially for the young version of me. Going back, now, as an adult, and i still feel the same way. Zemeckis really pulled off something special with this film, especially considering it still stand up to this day, some three decades later.

The Verdict

I love Who Framed Roger Rabbit. It’s required viewing for any movie buff. It is, literally, the best of a genre. It’s the Godfather of these animation/live action hybrids and really proves itself upon repeated viewing. You always catch little tidbits that you missed before and it just lends itself to the level of detail Zemeckis put into his direction. Outside of that, as a film, it’s exceptionally entertaining with a accessible plot to tie in all of these cameos and technical wizardry. The performances are completely on point, with particularly great showings from Haskins, Lloyd, and Fleischer, giving a real authenticity to a movie about cartoons living with people, provably didn’t deserve. Who Framed Roger Rabbit is an outstanding film that deserves all of the accolades and love. It’s a great film for kids, a fun watch for their parents, and true classic of American cinema.

#Smokey brand Movie Reviews #Who Framed Roger Rabbit

[jq37]

[obligatory recap ask]

**spoilers for subway skirmish and borough of dreams**

@kickmuncher3 and @galfast: ty for your asks, I’ll use them for the next two recaps. this is probably the least efficient way for me to handle this but I want to keep all of these visually consistent dammit. 

One of the funniest things about this season of D20 is most if not all of the cast has lived in NYC which manifests as very specific references and in character complaints that you just know come from a place of truth and experience. Which is to say we got a lot of that in these episodes.  

Also, this has nothing to do with anything but living in NY update: On Sunday, I saw a man hanging upside-down from a tree--by his feet--and playing the flute. And barely anyone registered it at all. So I really cannot stress enough how much New York is Like That.

Pete opening the fight by blasting a fireball and then telepathically calling out Kingston is--como se dice--a Power Move.

Brennan *immediately* channels the opposite of whatever energy Emily's on and goes right for Ricky's dog to the horror of everyone at the table and his absolute delight. Like, it's a spectral dog but still. Bro. Dog. 

Kingston taking the heat metal damage to get Epona to drop him is so raw. But then, for the rest of the fight, he doesn't say a single thing except for his Command spells which is a very different kind of raw. 

Question: Is Riz's mom the only good cop that exists in D20?

I know this was an RP ep and I know they knew it was gonna be an RP ep but I wonder what would have happened if they had pretended to cooperate with Epona to get more info. Probably just an extended RP ep that would have segued into this same fight eventually. But I'm curious about what information they let get eaten by a swarm of rats.

Misty's Irresistible Dance spell is very clutch. 

The gators from the last fight are back in the form of Kug's summons and one of them still has a grudge against Misty. Misty is all, "send me your resume!" because she appreciates the spunk. I was starting a sentence about what the hell play this sentient gator is going to be in but as soon as I hypothetically asked it my brain was like, "Peter Pan. Next question."

Y'all, this really was Kug's fight. Between calling the roaches, crocs, and gators, channeling Moonshine to call lightning, and killing Epona within 40 mins of the ep, he truly was on fire. Good for him. He also turns into a bear but specifically a bear that would have escaped from the zoo. It's the little details that make this show great. 

Brennan putting his foot down on tying rats together not being acrobatics is the eternal DM mood. 

Back to Epona for a second, do we think she was working for Robert directly? Someone connected to him? Something else? When her shadow split after Ricky's attack was that meaningful or just flavor? Where did that badge come from? Has it always existed? What does destroying it mean? It didn't seem to help. The bad cop ghosts were still around, just no one could control them at that point. If they had yoinked that badge, could they have had a summoning item that hey could use? Or is it bad karma to use something like that? Is it still bad if you're forcing the bad cops to do good stuff? Did Brennan anticipate this or is the Coach Daybreak 2: Electric Boogaloo? Lots of questions.

Misty's cutting words to the cop (saving Ricky) making the Law and Order "DUN DUN" noise is great. 

Emily ends up not needing to roll to make rat nunchucks because her health goes low enough that her magic ring activates but I feel like she low key wanted rat nunchucks. 

Wild that Kingston went down for just long enough for it to be cinematic before being revived by Misty ("Get up, old man,")

Also wild that this whole fight only took about 45 seconds of in game time. It makes sense if you think about it the way you would a movie and that's how most D&D fights are but that's so much play time for so little game time and it hit me this ep because I was actually keeping track of rounds. 

Anyway, I have not mentioned up until this point that the whole crux of this fight is to last long enough for Alejandro to roll high enough to summon the train to Nod but, long story short, Pizza Rat shows up to save the day. Does that make more sense in context? Marginally. 

I like that the train to Nod shows up on the wrong side of the tracks. Like I said, man. Details. 

Oh and to my above point about the cast making comments about NY as people who have lived in NY, I loved Brennan looking directly at the camera when he was going off on people who just stand at the door like idiots while you're trying to get in and then Siobhan pokes like half her head into frame so she can also stare directly into the camera. Mood.

When Ally said Pete shoots Kingston I half believed it for a good couple of seconds. I was right there with Lou. 

OK, so I don't know how many of you have watched Sharkboy and Lavagirl (and, if you haven't feel free to skip this bullet) but no movie has brought me more enjoyment overall than SB&LG. Not because it's good because it's not. But it's so insane that it's amazing. It's right in the sweet spot. I always say, if it was any better, it would be Spy Kids 3 and, therefore, unwatchable (SK 1 + 2 are dope as hell though, for the record). I bring it up because the way Brennan describes Nod reminds me a lot of Drool in SB&LG. Like, the rollercoaster subway car def could be in the same universe as the Train of Thought. This is all to say that I think Brennan could have written a version of SB&LG that was better without being worse. Idk if that comes across as complimentary, but it is, and to both parties actually. 

From the way Nod (the kid) is being framed (in this ep and the next) I know we're not supposed to mistrust him but, put in that situation, there is no way I would trust the gray faced, black eyed, creepily gliding dream child. 

Post fight, Kingston wants to offer an apology for what he said about Pete and Nod wants to apologize for putting Pete in his current situation. Also, the group decides to be more open in general. Kug, as most of us guessed, got beauty and the beasted for white collar crime by his business partner (Gabby) who is Esther's mom and a witch (also, Ricky thinks his crush on Esther is a secret which is just adorable and completely incorrect).  

Brennan cuts sharing time off because this is the combat episode dammit! Save it for next session. But, because I'm behind, next session is now! Let's get into The Borough of Dreams.

Misty, as a faerie, is instinctively mistrustful of vising other magical worlds and eating the food or taking things at face value. I love that she's playing a character where she can ask these questions and not be meta-gaming because I had some of the same concerns. 

Wildly, WALLY walks out of the train as he just happened to be on it (as conductor) at the time. Kug bursts out with the fact that he's his dad and Wally takes this to mean that Rat Jesus is his bio dad but, even after being left alone for so many years, he claims Bruce as his real dad. He's wrong but he's sweet. 

"I thought you were mad at me." Brennan, you didn't have to do that.

Murph clearly trying to not accidentally call Wally a piece of shit because that's his go to Kug way to describe things is so funny.

"We could turn me into a rat." WALLY

Kingston and Misty looking at each other like, "These absolute children," while Pete and Soph are making Brittney Spears references. 

So we find out what all of the magic stuff they picked up does. Misty's mirror can see invisibility. Pete's grill helps with persuasion. The thousand hour energy makes you immune to sleep for 42 days(!) The bagel can be used for divination or to essentially kill a person but spread their essence throughout the universe  (which low key sounds like a sacrifice someone might make to help cancel the spread of say an undead presence or a money virus). 

I want Ricky and Wally to be friends forever. 

Kingston's lack of connection to the dream world is so sad. Like, he's no nonsense but he's like NO NONSENSE. Like no nonsense possible. So he's just walking around like Eddie Valiant in Toontown. 

And, at the same time, the rest of the party is doing the MOST nonsense. Mary Poppins-ing into the sky. Misty is making out with the moon. Wild. 

SOBER SALAD

Ally drops the ketamine on the tomatoes line and Brennan fully breaks

Very sweet for Pete to bring Kingston a salad, even though that's such a random food to just have in your pocket(???). Why does salad keep coming up on this show? One more time and it's officially a motif.

So the dream world basically works on Sharkboy and Lavagirl/Xanth/Phantom Tollbooth/Wonderland/Toontown logic. If you've seen/read any of those, you basically have it down. 

"Only people with Sprint have service."/"Oh, amazing!" Brennan threw that softball out for anyone who wanted it and Emily, as usual, hit it out of the park.

Brennan very clearly knows his NY history. The mob boss (lucky Luciano, no not that one) that he mentioned during the sleeping with the fishes bit is a real dude and basically the dude who brought organized crime to the US (in the form we know it now). 

Ricky and the mints. Lord.

Anyway, the one item I didn't mention earlier is the holy grail detergent which can literally clean souls. Which sounds mighty interesting considering some of the other stuff that's come up this campaign. 

(Also, I wonder if you could use the bagel as spell components since it contains everything in the universe in microcosm).

I can't believe Pete was the one saying, "At least eat before you shotgun that 1000 hour energy." By the by, the 42 hour span of the energy drink makes me suspicious. Is that just for humor (and accurate math) or it this a Chekov's Gun kind of an item indicating some kind of time jump at some point? Ricky drinks it later in this ep so, if there's a clock attached to that, it's ticking. I'm prob reading into this but I assume if you're still reading these, this is what you're here for. 

Ally making sawing motions before being told an egg creme has nothing to do with eggs and is in fact a drink.

Pete! OK, so Pete has made some good steps in this ep, starting with promising to start reining in the drug usage. Later he works on his magic and also gets over Priya. This is the most endeared I've been to him all season. Especially his, "I try to do a good job," line. I felt that. 

"It's still open to you." Aw.

Brennan clearly saw the chance for a lore drop this ep and boy did it drop. Let's run through the highlights.

Nod dumped all this on Pete the way they did because it's super super hard to contact a Vox Phantasmus beforehand due the the natural, waking world inclination to brush off dreams. You have to have the job before you can talk to the boss. Cruddy system but that's how it goes. 

When Sophie said the thing about Robert Moses creating spaces that can't be accessed she meant by magic but it's an interesting way to phrase it because the irl Robert Moses is known for (allegedly, but like, it tracks) trying to keep black people out of certain spaces. 

Robert Moses sold his soul to Hell and Faerie which is why he's still alive it seems. No one wants to collect on his soul and anger the other party.

Whoever predicted that the golden door for Emma Laz's poem was the rectangle from episode one, collect your prize because it's confirmed in this ep. 

We learn about the ephemeral axiom which basically says, a dream can be all things but once it manifests, it's a single thing. (you might even say, "it is what it is".)

So another big thing we learn is that if a dream gets so big that manifesting them in the real world would break the game, it's called a Paragon. There are four total: Heaven, Hell, Faerie, and The American Dream. (Wild that The American Dream is the only country specific one that exists. Like, I rep my home team of course but the U.S. is a pretty latecomer to the country party. You'd think someone else might have gotten Paragon status at some point.)

"Was one of them the Grand Canyon?"

Anyway, dragging the American Dream into the waking world would fix the American Dream to mean one thing--I assume making tons of money if Robert Moses has his way. I'll admit, I was a  little fuzzy on the mechanics of this on my first watch-through because pulling the American Dream into the real world sounds like it should be a good thing. But I think, at the most basic level, it's a matter of you shouldn't put magic that shouldn't be in a box in a box. I'm still wondering about the exact implications for the waking world if he succeeds though. Like, how would that manifest? Would everyone suddenly become money hungry (lol, how would you tell)? Would people still want what they want but the American Dream would just be understood to mean making stacks and none of the good Superman-y stuff?

"It's not Protestant work ethic is it?"

Robert Moses is undead and can't get into Nod, so those are good things to note. 

I was so ready for Wally is get dispelled and for him to be a figment of Kug’s imagination or a dream or something. I braced myself so much. I was ready to set up a firing squad for Brennan for doing that to Kug.  

Who tipped the bugsters off to where Pete was gonna be? As far as I can tell, the only people that knew were the gang plus Alejandro and Esther. Maybe someone was scrying on them and that’s what the roll Zac failed during the wedding ep was. 

As soon as Brennan mentions locking the door, Ally immediately makes the connection and goes, "Key to the city." Nod "locks" the American Dream and gets rid of the lock which seems to mean the American Dream is temporarily unavailable. Which seems not good and like it's gonna have collateral damage for sure but I guess you bad is a matter of degrees and Robert getting in would be worse. But still, imagine your immigration papers get declined because some random kid decided to close down the American Dream for a couple of days. 

So, we get some backstory of Misty. She apparently just was straight up not having a good time in Faerie so she stole Titania's shoes (allowing her to be in iron-filled NYC without triggering her fairy vulnerability) and peaced out. 

"She's gonna kill you."/"Only if she can get here and I have her Goddamn shoes." (**A million airhorns in the distance**)

I love that Emily is still on the souls thing. Emily doesn't believe in Occam's Razor. In fact, I'd like to propose a corollary called the Axford Axiom: The coolest path between two points probably isn't the correct one, but it should be! I want her to run a campaign so bad so I can see her be in a game where her crazy endgame is what's going on because she's the one who wrote it. 

Misty: Let's go to hell!

So much like a videogame, the map has opened up and we have three places to check out. The former locations in the dream world of Faerie (Carnagie Hall), Heaven (JFK airport), and Hell (where do you think? Hell's Kitchen). The gang splits up to look for clues (and drinks, in Misty's case). Actually, make that four places: Pete goes to the Met Museum of Memories to basically Avatar mind meld with the other Voxes and get a handle on his magic to a degree (thank God--Nod?). We'll take these in order of appearance, which means we're off to Hell with Kug and Ricky (plus Ox and Wally).

(Focus on the Pizza, baby!)

At first I wanted Ricky, the good boy, to go to Heaven, but the idea of a firefighter in Hell also has appeal. 

Re The rat holding his guts: Gross. 

Ricky holding his axe like a cell phone.

So we and Kug learn that the rat-spell that was cast on him wasn't actually a rat-spell. It was a spell that would make his outsides reflect his insides and his insides happened to suck. I'm wondering if that means that it's a static spell that reflects his outsides at the time it was cast and it would need to be recast to reflect any moral progress made or if it will just revert him once he's made enough progress. 

I'm also wondering (partially bc one of my players asked to do this last session) can a Druid wildshape into a person? I feel like no, but like, did any of you ever read Animorphs? You know how in book 1 Tobias gets stuck as a red-tailed-hawk but then later her gets his morphing ability back and then he can turn back into his human form for 2 hours at a time? What if Kug just started doing that? Just being a rat who is sometimes a dude. 

They also go to the statue of liberty (which has a French accent, natch) who shows them that there's, like, a money/greed virus infecting the Dreaming and the American Dream. Ricky smells undeath again. They think vampires. That's plausible but I'm not sure. 

OK, Heaven. 

WHOOOO, strap in y'all

(Sidenote: I wonder what would have happened if Soph hadn't chose to go to heaven. I feel like she could have easily run into you know who in hell had she chose to go there, but I'm getting ahead of myself).

Brennan actually tries to lead Emily into the thinking about Dale mindset but Emily, having reached a note of closure in Soph's character arc, pushes back on that.

honeyougotastormcoming.gif

Brennan,about to wreck her entire life: Cool.

I and the cast keep saying heaven a lot but it's like an all roads lead to Rome situation. It's heaven, Valhalla, Elysium, nirvana. Like, whatever Good Place you believe in. It's the Good Place. 

Sophie, upon being told that if she jumps into the fight at the Pearly Gates she knows nothing about, she might literally die: And what about it?

Emily's face when Brennan says, "And you see Dale," is so much. You can see the entire range of human emotion in her eyes in that moment.

Sidenote: I wonder how much of her backstory Emily planned and how much Brennan dropped on her. Like, she knew Isabella was part of her backstory obv. Did Brennan come up with all of this whole-cloth or did she say she wanted there to be something supernatural and and let him fill in the details. Very curious about the collaborative process.  

 When Dale's character art comes up, it says "Sophie's Angel" for Dale's descriptor so where I thought we were going was that Dale was Sophie's Guardian Angel who wasn't supposed to be romantically involved with her and the reason he was gone is that he was forcibly brought back to heaven. But that may be because I recently watched this.

Dale, is upsettingly sweet with Sophie, calls her "sweetie" the entire time they're together, fights a ton of angels to get to her, and says he got her text message. Emily is about to cry. *I'm* about to cry. I'm sure the only reason Brennan isn't fistpumping is because he needs to stay in character. 

Dale gives this cryptic piece of advice before he is dragged off by angel guards: When you get to the top, I know what it'll seem like, but there is someone there.

Emily, of course: I fight the angels.

The angels, hilariously, don't take it personally that she's fighting them--and very well, but not well enough to beat a nat 20. Sometimes the dice are spooky in tune with the story.

"He's got a job to do here. Who's gonna watch the deer?"

Dale also tells Soph to tell Jackson he said hi which is interesting to say the least. 

Emily gets two very dope lines in a row:

"Let me hold your hand through this Alejandro."

"I'm gonna kill her. And I don't think she's going to the great big airport in Brooklyn."

That's it for her for now, but let's put a pin in that for now and come back to it after we check in with the others. 

Siobhan and Kingston are at the former spot of Faerie, the Glamour Bar.

Zac jokingly (I think) guessing Dr. Doolittle as the thing Siobhan can't remember when she says Eliza Doolittle is so funny. 

Also, her terrible cockney British accent on top of her actual British accent is great.

I love that the two actual Real Adults are the ones who go and get wasted mid-mission. 

Brennan introduces "Bobby Goodfellow" and it takes Siobhan exactly four seconds after Brennan finishes the word "Goodfellow" to be like, "It's Puck." She knew and she knew her character would know it and she hardcore pounced.  

I meant to mention this before but it's super funny that Kingston has been around the magical block but there's still so much he doesn't know. He was surprised by a bunch of stuff in this ep that I'd think he would know about (like the Midsummer's faeries being real) but nah. He's like, "This is my specific brand of magic nonsense. That's what I know about. I don't mess around with any of *that* stuff. I stay in my lane. I stay in my city."

Ty Brennan for teaching me how to pronounce sláinte. This is the first time I'm hearing it out loud. 

I love his Puck voice. Like, the little British street urchin voice.  

No big surprise, Puck sent the mirror on the order of Oberon and Titania (who are not back together but are knocking boots according to him). 

Puck warns Misty, "The world of mortals is not long for this world," and follows it up with a seemingly sincere, "Come home. We miss you," which is an interesting thing to say after announcing that Titania is gunning for her. Who is this we, Puck? Your boss wants to bodyslam her!

Also, what do the faeries know that they're not saying? All of them in the bar seemed to know something was off but none of them said anything and Puck didn't elaborate. 

I've always liked the trope of the person from the otherworldly, magical or super advanced being like, "Idk what you're talking about. Humans are great!" because it's the opposite of the snooty elf/vulcan/whatever trope that I really can't stand. Misty showed shades of that in this conversation but I feel like there's still so much that we're missing in her backstory and I wanna know what it is.  

(Also, this is prob just me being a little pepe silvia but I would be very unsurprised if Misty got an opportunity to betray the party at some point. Don't @ me. It's just something I could see myself offering to a player for the drama of it all). 

Anyway, Kingston is extremely uncomfortable in the bar and makes a hasty exit so let's go to the museum with Pete and Nod.

Ally jumps onto the, "Suggested donations are for suckers" train w/ Siobhan. 

Turns out, Pete f'd up Robert up so much that he has kind of a brain link with him. I wonder how long that's gonna last. 

Pete gets proficiency in arcana and a choice between lesseing wild magic surges or gaining some control over them (2 wild magic rolls on a fail and ally gets to choose which effect takes place). Obv the second one is more fun rp-wise so that's what Ally picks.

It's a memory museum so OF COURSE he gets a chance to look at the memories of the rest of the party. But it's getting late so he only has a chance to check on one person's memories. He, naturally, picks Kingston. Makes perfect sense from an RP perspective but out of character I feel like Misty is the most closed book of the party. 

Pete sees Kingston's life from his childhood to the present (Brennan puts Lou on the spot to do some improv...I mean beyond the improv they're already doing) and it's about what you would expect based on what we know about Kingston but it's very beautifully described (sidenote: did any of y'all ever watch the life and times of juniper lee? where she can't leave the city bc she's like the buffy of that world? I really felt shades of that, except more self imposed).

During that montage, a character is like, "You could make hundreds of millions of dollars--I mean, I'm exaggerating," (s/t like that) and I'm not gonna go back and check but I feel like Brennan (or maybe Lou) made almost exactly the same comment in the first ep of this season in a very similar context.

Oh, also, Kingston gets dubbed Vox Populi by a dragon on Bleecker Street in case you were wondering about logistics. 

Again, Nod says that inviting Liz into his life was basically dooming Liz to be stuck dealing with the Unsleeping City but I feel like unless you have a Vox position or something similar you should be able to, like, opt out. So what you need to ignore some weird stuff day to day? May I direct you to my earlier anecdote about the flute dude in the tree. New Yorkers are good at that. And if she moved away, would it even be an issue?

Actually, that raises another question. Is NY the only place where magic is happening? It can't be because Santa is doing his thing at the North Pole. And NY has the Umbral Arcana which shields magic from muggles. Does that mean that elsewhere, magic just isn't hidden? I'm guessing that works because the bulk of magical happenings are happening in NY. Which, again, if so, couldn't Liz just move if she really wanted to? Or is she actually being *kept* there? 

Ahhhhh, that argument scene with Kingston and Liz. Ow. 

Robert's subconscious is heckling Kingston's memories the entire time. 

The party gets back together, Pete immediately lets Kingston know he was memory spying on him and hugs him (while Misty is drunk a singing over him). Their rift literally caused a kind of rift in NYC which is now healed (which causes Sophie to see the Unsleeping City/Dreaming Yin-Yang sign over their heads).

 Ricky drinks the 1000 hr energy so start the clock I guess. 

Misty, upon hearing that Dale is dead basically does that John Mulaney bit: Hey, do you want me to kill that guy for you? Because it sounds like [s]he sucks and I will totally kill that guy for you. 

It's the day of Priya's art show which I totally forgot was happening. Before that, Sophie finally goes to see her brother and we can return back to that pin I mentioned earlier.

(Also, it’s the 20th which means we’re getting really close to Christmas)

He says that their family got mixed up with the Confettis and they've been helping to launder magical items that Confetti is paying some rep from Hell (an associate of Robert's).

And by, "Some rep from hell," I mean Isabella Infierno specifically.

Emily, hilariously riffs for a while about how small it was of her to call Isabella a succubus even though she clearly knows at this point that Isabella is some kind of demon. I mean...Infierno. Come on. 

Sidenote: Which demon actually trying to be subtle would pick the last name Infierno? You wanna blow your cover for the aesthetic that bad?

Emily goes, "Oh my (beat) Nod," which I think is the exact way she dropped the first, "Oh Melora," in one of the first eps of Naddpod. 

Anyway, it turns out that Soph's family knew that Isabella was gunning for Dale (he was getting close to realizing something shady was going on) and, while they didn't call the shot, they let it happen.

Oh! He also says Dale was a chosen one from "some monastery" which, of course, fits in with Dale's comment about saying hi to Jackson. Now I'm wondering if his other comment--about there seeming like there's nothing at the top--is about whatever chosen one test he had to take to get the position to begin with. And maybe he was giving a clue to Sophie so that when she takes it, she'll for sure pass and get whatever dope powers or weapons or privileges come with the position. 

"The only reason I'm not going to go after you right now is because I'm not organized enough to give you the fucking revenge you deserve." Soph is cold as ice after hearing about what her family did. 

"Maybe you should have said that to Isabella before she went after me." Another mic drop line from Emily. This really was her episode. You can really see Emily channeling hr genuine emotional reactions into her character.  

La Gran Gata shows up to let Soph know she has her back to hunt down Isabella. The only other warlocks really seen played are Fjord on CritRole and Leiland on Bloodkeep so it's wild to see a character with such a chill relationship with their patron.

So, Priya's art show. They show up (to a distressingly unsafe building from Ricky's perspective) and it turns out, not only is it performance art (the worst kind) Pete *is* the art.

"I present to all of you: cruelty, a exploration of a relationship. Peter, take my hand."

major barf.

Pete goes OFF

Kingston: Picasso is art, this is bullshit!

Siobhan: Her last name is Danger? I hate this bitch.

Pete gets over Priya instantly which totally tracks because, like I said, barf. 

Sophie stealing Ricky's thing and rooftop jumping. Zac narrows his eyes when she says that.

I love Isabella's title card. It says, "Literal Succubus". It reminds me of the funniest scene in Bedazzled when the Devil (Liz Hurley) gives Brendan Frasier her business card and it just says, "The Devil".

But she's here and she's here to fight! I'm so excited for this one y'all! Unsafe building. Lots of civilians. Sophie (and Emily) going totally feral. I haven’t looked forward to a fight this much since Adaine went for Aelwen. Let's gooooo!

#asks #dimension 20 #the unsleeping city #d20 #riz-gukgak #this is 5k words #aren't I good at utilizing my free time

[themadvigilantist]

things about time lords that was new to me and/or i forgot about that i’m now going to consider canon for basically every time lord in a fight:

Time Lords' physical forms are only fragments of much vaster multi-dimensional ones existing in a realm invisible to humans; this aspect is able to create coincidences around a Time Lord. (and everyone is so surprised by how strong they are. gallifreyans are (possibly) stronger than the hulk and captain marvel full force. k bye)

While the human eye was just a dish of light-sensitive cells, leaving the brain to do all of the processing, the Time Lord retina was capable of thinking on its own. As a result, on Gallifrey, the retina replaced fingers as the main method of communicating with machines. (a brain for the skull and a brain for each eye and just holy shit. they can feel people with their eyesssssss.) Gallifreyan eyes were better at seeing in general, as well as in the dark, as they could gather and enhance available light. They could notice incredible amount of detail from distances of at least one hundred yards away, as well as people that were well beyond the human line of sight. Gallifreyans had incredibly precise control of their eyes (which explains a shit ton on why the doctor’s eyes just get bigger when they can’t find a companion and have to resort to yelling their name. it’s like that meme about yelling something to get them to respond but extreme sports edition. like extreme marco polo or waldo like holy shit).

Gallifreyans could survive some falls which would shatter the bones of humans.

If pushed from a height into a liquid, a Time Lord body was capable of protecting them, sealing up the lungs to conserve air for a short period (see Hell Bent and 12′s constant diving)

Gallifreyans could survive extreme cold, due to having a "souped-up metabolism"; they could even withstand exposure to a vacuum for a few minutes with the only consequence being blindness rather than death. They could also survive extreme heat. They could even survive the subzero temperatures and extremely low pressure of vacuum for around six minutes, and survive electric shocks that would be fatal to humans. 

Röntgen radiation affected Gallifreyans so minimally that Gallifreyan children were routinely given radioactive toys in the nursery. They could, at will, absorb very high doses of Röntgen radiation, transform it into a form harmless to humans, and expel it from their bodies. Radiation of other kinds could be fatal, but even then a Gallifreyan could handle much higher doses than a normal human could, and could hold out much longer than even most terrestrial life-forms, although a unique form of radiation around the Lakertyan System was only fatal to Time Lords while being harmless to humans.

Gallifreyans needed less sleep than humans, and could make do with as little as an hour.

A Gallifreyan who was severely injured without actually needing to regenerate to heal the damage would generally slip into a healing coma, and devote all his or her energy to healing the injury. While in the coma, they would appear to be dead.

Time Lords also seem to have an increased resilience to higher frequencies of sound.

Gallifreyans could be disabled by a blow to the left shoulder, which possessed a vulnerable nerve cluster.

Gallifreyans were capable of resisting attempts to disintegrate their bodies, despite being shown capable of disintegrating other organisms.

Early Gallifreyans deliberately infected themselves with the Yssgaroth taint to give themselves a biological advantage.

Time Lords occasionally displayed, or referred to, the ability to fly. (cough cough mary poppins, saxon, missy, that time lord messenger, tenth doctor when he got back to normal and cradled the master and cried after lucy shot him cough cough)

Even without regeneration, Gallifreyans had considerable lifespans. Within one regeneration, Gallifreyans could live for hundreds of years, yet look much younger than a human of equivalent age. (which means the curator in the 50th Anniversary of Doctor Who is 500 yrs old in that face so like imagine young tom baker but with just the short curly cut like wow)

Physical stress could cause Gallifreyans to age.

the Time Destructor may have contributed to ageing

Gallifreyan children grew at about the same rate as humans of the same age. After this point, ageing would slow, with the Gallifreyan looking like a teenager for decades. ( @girl-in-the-tardis @gallifreylegacy so basically those kids end up being like twilight minus the disco ball vampirism when they graduate college and get the highest occupation of their job. like they could be considered both the youngest president but also the oldest being visually a teenager but actually 90 yrs old. like No. 5 from Umbrella Academy)

90 is teens, 750 is middle-aged and senility age when one time lord gets over 12,000 years old (depending on the regeneration i guess???)

Gallifreyans had all the senses possessed by humans, and to generally superior degrees. Gallifreyans also had extraordinary reflexes and precision timing, literally superhuman.

In the space of four nanoseconds, a Time Lord can move fast enough to dodge shots fired at them whilst devising a plan to escape. (so that trailer where 13 is like a speedster? fucking canon y’all)

Gallifreyans showed great hand-eye coordination and dexterity with a wide variety of tool and weapons.

Gallifreyans (in "younger" bodies) were, consequently, very physically able and highly athletic

A time lord perceived sounds from the TARDIS, while located several sections away in a larger spacecraft or planet.

Gallifreyans were capable of identification by taste. (see all of tenth doctor) The Gallifreyan sense of smell was equal to their sense of taste. They could do a chemical analysis of the air using their sense of smell. On some occasions Time Lords were also able to judge what time period and location they were in by the smell of the air. (this explains that comic where rose was possessed by the ninth doctor and she basically became the ninth doctor for that strip while also talking to him out loud as he responded in her head: basically 9 was remy the rat and rose was linguini the hair-controlled human k thanks. so that’s a thing)

Gallifreyans were better at coping with sudden changes in position than humans and were harder to disorient. 

As well as the senses shared with humans, Gallifreyans had further senses, with at least a sixth sense. Gallifreyans had time- and spatial-related senses and physical attributes; they were able to resist fields of slow time, notice distortions and jumps in time, retain perception of local time flow, including a secondary "backwards" consciousness during jumps back in time that could overwrite the one prescribed by forward time, directly perceive the interstellar motions of cosmological bodies or their inhabitants — including sensing the "shape" of the world to the extent that they were aware when trapped in pocket dimensions — and perceive all possible timelines. Due to their time sensitive nature, Gallifreyans could retain memories of negate or alternative timelines. (so basically the whole ‘i won’t remember this’ schtick from 50th was a sham. which explains why tenth doctor was looking for rose the second he heard bad wolf but he was on gallifrey and not earth. this boy was looking for the moment but like she just didn’t appear and then the button changed into a rose shaped one like wow ok bye) The form of eidetic short-term memory, able to recall every insignificant detail of even the most moments in time (holy shit there’s no way you can win an argument with them. that’s fucking sad...for any human anYWAY). on a quantum level, their brain could receive information from possible futures, possibly without even realising it consciously. (ahaha do you mean that the tenth doctor saw different futures where he saw all outcomes of doomsday which makes all those edits where he’s living life with rose and donna as his sister fucking true but it’s also true that canonically he went, ‘nah, have tentoo im gonna skidaddle’ and left THEM OKAY BYE AGAIN). Time Lords shared a special mental connection to the structure of history. The chakras of the Time Lord nervous system could detect contours in the Time Vortex and also felt an instinctive gut revulsion towards fixed points in time.

The Time Lord brain was much larger and more complex than the human brain. The size differences effectively ruled out brain transplants from a Gallifreyan to a human, having one, two or three brainstems (so basically that whole plot in Get Out would have backfired so fucking hard. now that would have been a wild movie.) Time Lords could also separate the hemispheres of their brain, allowing them to multitask easily. Records on some planets indicated isolated cerebral hemispheres as a characteristic of Time Lords. Time Lords had an additional brain lobe dedicated to mechanical and other bodily functions, freeing the other lobes for intellectual endeavours. The autonomic functions could be artificially supplanted with a special device, allowing the Gallifreyan to think with their autonomic brain.

Gallifreyans could sense the presence of others of their own species, with the sense being specific enough to allow identification of one another just by sight, regardless of potential recent regeneration. (v and vin tend to turn this off because they like being surprised. surprises are fun.)

Body temperature of Gallifreyans are fucking Arctic or near Pluto levels, hence the layered clothing in the most hottest climate possible like what the fuck. it explains so much on why tenth doctor still donned that luau necklace thing because that was just a nice warm spring to him okay. which means if they get sick, you need oven gloves and a heat resistant suit. that’s what im gonna assume. like holy shit. no wonder that ice didn’t do shit for 10 in the 42 ep. good to know

Time Lords displayed the ability of touch-enabled mental manipulation; this manifested itself in a number of different ways, including hypnosis, mind-reading, thought sharing, the ability to relieve dementia, putting others to sleep, influence on others' dreams, memory erasure and could also transfer knowledge quickly to another person by headbutting them. In addition, they were telepathically linked to one another and could join the entire Time Lord intelligence as one. They could hold telepathic conversations over distances, but this was more difficult. They could converse with each over the astral plane, although this ability required intense concentration, and an interruption might have fatal consequences for the Time Lord. Their telepathy extended to less intelligent animals. Perhaps because of this, they had an innate ability to understand any language. In ancient times, Gallifreyans who were capable of blocking out the telepathic thoughts of other Gallifreyans were called Individuals. They usually had red-gold hair and often went on to become Young Heroes. (THAT’S 👏🏾WHY 👏🏾THE 👏🏾DOCTOR 👏🏾WANTS RED 👏🏾HAIR 👏🏾👏🏾 THEY 👏🏾 WANT 👏🏾 TO 👏🏾BE 👏🏾A 👏🏾INDIVIDUAL 👏🏾👏🏾) They were highly resistant against, if not immune to, other forms of mind control. However, they were vulnerable to more powerful forms of mind control. (so basically Jessica Jones episodes 1 thru whatever episode Kilgrave doesn’t find out about Hogarth trying to inject herself with his DNA, they are immune but, episode where kilgrave injects himself with it and becomes powerful might be vulnerable to it if that same kilgrave did what cartoon kilgrave did with tony stark and used the stark tower to boost and spread his control over everyone...or you know, maybe can withstand wanda vision’s control. maybe. i have to consider pythia and the karn so, it’s a good 50 - 50 chance on kilgrave and wanda being able to mind control a time lord. like properly. so jot that down)

Gallifreyans (Time Lords) don’t have prostates.

#mv: decretum #mv: longpost #mv: reference #ooc #doctor who #egyptroyal #c: 10 #vc: 11 1/2 #oc: the scientist #c: 0 #oc: allura #oc: the technician #oc: the sargeant