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welcometothejianghu · 6 months

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Welcome to another round of W2 Tells You What You Should See, where W2 (me) tries to sell you (you) on something you should be watching. Today's choice: 鬓边不是海棠红/Winter Begonia

Winter Begonia is the tale of the intertwined lives of a wealthy, westernized businessman and a bratty, dramatic Peking Opera performer as they navigate the historical landscape of 1930s China.

It is a slow historical ramble of a show, to the point where I couldn't really say it has a single plot. Events just happen in their lives, and the show follows them with a pleasant steadiness. Characters go away, and sometimes they come back. Interpersonal conflicts rise and then get resolved. Sometimes you just get to sit and watch part of an opera happen. The last third of the show develops a slightly more cohesive narrative, but even then, it's still mostly a loose constellation of events related to larger goings-on in the culture.

So if you're looking for tight plots and fast-paced action, you'll want to look somewhere else. But if you're the kind of person who likes to wrap up sometimes in a gentle warm blanket of a beautiful show, I have five reasons you should give this one a try.

1. Oh, they're in love

Perhaps the most notable thing about Cheng Fengtai and Shang Xirui is that they spend the entire show smiling at one another, staring longingly at one another, and/or making each other laugh.

A lot of danmei couples depend on having at least one partner who, if not outright tsundere, is at least stoically long-suffering -- which is romantic, sure, but also exhausting in real life. These two read about as married as any danmei pair I've ever seen because they make one another smile all the time. They're incredibly touchy and affectionate from basically the moment they meet. They're not just in love, they actually like one another.

Now, don't get me wrong: These two are both absolute exhausting gremlins who deserve one another so they don't have to be anyone else's problems. But they're good-natured enough about their respective gremlin natures that when one of them lets loose with his rascality, the other tends to think it's hilarious.

They don't even have the mandated danmei breakup! They're never mad at one another for more than the length of an episode. Most of the time they're just refreshingly normal about one another (or, you know, about as normal as two drama queens can be). And when they're being not normal about one another, it's because the circumstances they are currently enduring are not normal either.

They're so in love that by the time you get to the last episode, everyone in their lives is like, gee, those two sure are in love. For the main couple in a Chinese-censored BL adaptation? That's pretty darn in love.

2. The costumes!!!

Of course I have to gush over the costumes. Several major characters are professional opera performers, and their wardrobes are just stunning in complexity and detail -- and accuracy, apparently.

But they're not even where all of the wardrobe budget went! Everyone looks great, from the dapper upper class to the household servants to the street performers.

I also can't get over how everyone looks so cozy in their winter outfits. The show really wants to hammer home how cold Beijing is, and so most non-opera clothes are either heavily quilted or furry. Not a single outfit in this show is slimming (except maybe for some of the gorgeous gowns Cheng Meixin wears). It's all about conserving body heat, which means a lot of people walk around basically wearing mildly tailored quilts all the time. I love it. I envy it.

3. Oops! All bottoms!

This is a show of very soft men. It helps that very many of them have spent their whole lives playing female roles, but even those that haven't tend to be pretty darn soft.

(And I'm not even talking about the way people keep handing Cheng Fengtai babies and he loves it.)

Du Luocheng and Shang Xirui are absolutely what happens when you get two soft gay guys who are kinda into one another, but they're both too lazy to top, so they just become best friends instead.

Fan Lian stands as a testament to how you can be the only heterosexual in the show and still be soft as hell.

The old married gays. Softness level: off the charts.

Chen Renxiang's role is that of the opera frenemy, and he's incredibly soft about it. (This actor is also apparently in the Sha Po Lang live-action adaptation! Maybe someday it will be released...)

Opera underling La Yuehong hardens up later in the show, but even when he does, there's still a tragic softness to it.

Even the baddies are soft! Pretty much all the rival opera bitches fall into the "love to hate" category -- and nearly all of them win at least some sympathy from you before they leave the story for good.

There's one more soft boy whose presence surprised me, and that is Xue Zhicheng/Kujo Kazuma, a sympathetic Japanese character. Every other Japanese character in the show is sinister somehow -- not surprising, considering the drama is set during the brutal Japanese occupation of Beiping/Beijing.

But this little guy is a gentle, well-meaning opera fan who just wants to watch his favorite performers! When his actions cause trouble, it's only because he's so well-meaning that he couldn't see how anyone could disapprove of his attempts at cross-cultural undertanding. He even comes to the rescue a few times, at significant personal cost!

Moreover, the show uses him to make it clear that there's a difference between the Japanese occupying force and Japanese people and culture. In fact, the show is pretty critical of people who conflate the two and use interest in the latter as evidence of support of the former. That is not a level of nuance I've seen from other dramas set in this time period, and I was pleased to see it.

In conclusion, the critial war shortage in 1930s Beijing was not food or medicine or ammunition, but tops.

4. A whole lotta ladies

Again, not even counting the fact that one of the two main guys, many of his buddies, all of his heroes, and several of the antagonists professionally dress as women.

The most notable of them is Cheng Fengtai’s wife, Fan Xiang'er. They've been married for years by the time the show starts, and they have a son together. Theirs is an arranged marriage that they've managed to make work so well that they've actually wound up liking one another ... most of the time. Remember what I said earlier about his being exhausting? She knows that better than anyone.

(Sidebar: If you are uncomfortable with a love story where one of the participants is canonically married to someone else, this may be one you want to skip. That said, there are several male characters in this show who have multiple wives and/or mistresses, so the metric of what counts as infidelity in this setting is ... loose.)

Beyond her, though, there are many more female supporting characters in this show, from all different socioeconomic levels, in all different kinds of situations.

A caveat: Some of the women (one in particular) are at times frustrating as hell because they're too often written as jealous shrews who believe all the terrible gossip they hear and act on it without having actual adult conversations with anyone first. I dislike this trope, mostly because it relies on making some smart women artificially very stupid for the sake of forwarding the plot. I have little patience for situations that could have been solved five episodes ago if somebody had just been willing to ask clarifying questions.

That said, I can't be too mad about that, because there are many, many more women who are not written like that. Some of them are good and loyal! Some are sneaky and self-interested! Some are callous and manipulative! Some are meek and traumatized! Some make terrible decisions! Some make terrible decisions but, like, you get it! You know, just like in real life?

The answer to better representation is almost always more representation. When a character is the only one of whatever they are, everything they do is kind of an indictment of that category, especially when that category has a history of stereotypical negative representation. When there are several others, the characters stop being representatives of that category and start being just plain characters.

5. It just feels good to watch

Don't misunderstand: This is not a happy fun time show where everything in sunshine and roses all the way down. There are plenty of tense and emotional parts. Not everyone we like makes it out of the drama alive. Not all love stories get a happily ever after. People disappoint one another all the time. Awful things happen when soldiers occupy civilian populations. Poverty is a bitch.

But the show itself remains a nice viewing experience. It's absolutely a feast for the senses, what with all the music and costumes and sets and props and old-fashioned cars and everything.

The story is very straightforward. It's never trying to do any complex schemes or mislead you before some big reveal. I imagine this could be a good show to put on in the background while you're doing something else. You're never going to be too desperately confused about what's going on if you zone out for a minute -- and if you are, just hang on for a bit, because by next episode, it'll probably be onto whatever storyline comes next.

I have not read the novel, and I cannot judge anything against its standards. However, my friend who has read parts of the novel tells me that the adaptation is much preferable, because in the novel, you get to hear everyone's internal narration -- and everyone's internal narration makes it clear they're all bratty, insufferable assholes. That is not the case here! Or, rather, they are often bratty and/or insufferable, but from outside their heads, it's a lot more charming.

Finally, it's legitimately a very good love story. Shang Xirui is the only person in Cheng Fengtai's life who loves him for who he is, not what someone else needs him to be. Cheng Fengtai goes from being enraptured by this beautiful little weirdo to basically wanting to wife him. They spend a lot of time taking care of one another, sometimes in the only ways they know how. They're capable of operating independently -- there are several episodes where their storylines diverge completely -- but they'd prefer not to. They've just each found their soulmate, and that's all there is to it. (The red thumbprint in the palm is about the most romantic thing I've ever seen.)

I'm a little surprised by how little I hear English-speaking fandom talk about this one, especially since (see below) it's a widely available, high-budget show that even has a Shang Xirui figurine, and there's no question about how in gay love these two are. But if you hop over to AO3, there's only 257 works total in the Winter Begonia tag, a scant 57 of which are in English, and if you've tried looking into the Winter Begonia tag on Tumblr, you know it's pretty quiet 'round here.

I can't be sure, but I'd assume that's partly because this is both a) a relatively low-stakes drama, and b) so enmeshed with actual historical events and concepts that you'd have to do at least a baseline amount of research before making any fan media. I would imagine that for some folk, this is a barrier to entry.

And it is 49 slow, gentle episodes long. I saw Tumblr posts asking which episodes are important, because the posters don't want to or can't commit to watching the whole thing. But the answer is ... all of them? none of them? There's no plot you'd be getting or missing with specific episodes. There are very few things I can think of that would even qualify as spoilers. It's just a walk through a couple very eventful years in the main pair's lives. I understand if folk aren't up for that, but if you are, this is really a gem.

Have I convinced you to give it a try?

I would say that Winter Begonia is perhaps the most easily watchable of any c-drama I've come across. Here's where you can find it:

iQiyi

Viki

Amazon Prime

YouTube

We watched most of it on YouTube, where the subs were perfectly fine. However, there was one episode where we had to switch platforms because the English subs were all out of synch, so we went to Amazon and they were fine there too. Other than that, I don't really have a sense of which translation experience is the best. Try them all!

(PS: If you feel like putting on a tinfoil hat, I'm just going to say, they look at one another like that in real life, too.)

#winter begonia #i made this #鬓边不是海棠红 #rec post

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batsipumkin · 2 months

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A/n:I've been watching this new series called Blood of zeus, AND DAMN. apollo is looking too good. Anyways, I thought I'd do a smut alphabet (cause why not.) Also about my requests, they'll be open again after valentines Day (I need a little break) BUT LETS GET TO IT

Btw this is with a chubby!fem , I'm sorry

NSFW UNDER THIS

A-aftercare

As soon as you guys are finished with your intimacy, he asks, "Are you ok, dear?" And asks if you need something to eat or drink, and showering is always an offer for u and him. He cares so much about you and makes sure you have the best care of all time

B-body part

You~I reckon he'd go for your breasts or thighs , idk

Him~ his arms due to them being able to hold you and keep you secure (and hyacinthus)

C-cum

He really enjoys seeing your beautiful body in his seed, but if he had to choose, he would definitely face and inside, just depending on his mood

D-dirty secret

He sometimes thinks of you having a three-way with hyacinthus and being fucked dumb, but he's only imagined that 10 times, cause instead of them taking turns they'll just have you at once. But you're not there yet

E-experience

He's a God, he's had plenty

F- favourite position

He's love Missionary and the face-off but also the pretzel dip one ( I call it that )

G-goofy

During intimacy, he tried being serious, but there were times he had giggled due to something you were doing (either doing it wrong or just being silly)

H-hair

This man has luscious locks and beautiful blonde hair on his beautiful brown skin, but his situation downstairs is not too hairy, but hair enough

I-intmacy

He's a bit of a sucker. I mean, he's a little teaser and will rile you up that you become a mess,but don't worry, he's gonna enjoy it

J-jerk off

Sometimes , but he has you and hyacinthus, so why would he. But if you aren't available to and hyacinthus is away doing something, he'll make sure to take care of his situation, and when you guys get home, you're in for a treat.

K-kink

Bondage, maybe spanking, breeding, *possibly lactation* , he likes to warm up his body from time to time(cause he's the God of sun)

L-location

He likes it to be private, but if you wanns try it and he likes it, good luck to you hun cause you'll be doing it in his chariot as well

M-motivation

When you become cocky or showering and he comes in unexpectedly. But there was this one time you were seeing if you liked any of the tunics he had seen one day strolling and he saw one and when he saw ,OH LORD

N-no

Not really bringing pain (besides spanking), he just doesn't find it hot

O-oral

This man loves to devour your fat pussy, and he likes it when you 69 cause then there's the 2 of you having pleasure

P-pace

Steady, not too quick or slow, just right bit from time to time he likes to go quick then slow just for the thrill

Q-quickies.

Gods and goddesses having a meeting? Do if quickly and leave

R-risk

He'll find it cute when you think your about to get caught in most situations when your in the chariot

S-stamina

He can go for whatever rounds he wants, cause of that God speed shit

T-toy

Due to it being based in ancient Greek, I don't think there's much, but there's rope, and that's all he can offer (sorry 😭)

U-unfair

This mf is cocky and will tease and then leave you helpless when you're the edge, but then there are times when he'll overstimulate the shit out of you

V-volume

Moans and grunts loudly judt to see how good your doings are and to see how much he loves it

W-wildcard

One time you asked if you can have hyacinthus in your plump cunt and have apollo in your mouth, he was severely shocked is to say

X~x-ray

I think he's quite large , so at least 9 inches soft and then 11 when he's hard ,NOT ONLY SIZE BIT THE GIRTH IS LARGE

Y-yearing

Big fat romantic and lovely dovey side all the time , like coming to you with flowers and mew songs he has written and telling people your his and hyacinthus

Z-zzz

Once he has finished cleaning both of you and himself, then asleep , he has nothing to do. He's fast asleep

I HOPED EVERYONE ENJOYED THAT

I'm sorry if it seemed like I gave up half way, I'm judt burnt out

#blood of zeus #apollo #apoolo x reader #smut #blood of zeus smut #im just a silly little guy #front page #thankyou #apollo smut

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nicoline1998enilocin · 8 months

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Yours, Forever | Chapter 15

PAIRING | Bucky Barnes x Female!Reader

WORD COUNT | 1.4K

SUMMARY | You and Bucky have been going steady for the last year and a half, and you have returned to your position as head of the legal department full-time now. Bucky has been going on more missions recently, and the two of you don't get to see each other for long periods of time, making the fantasies about each other hotter by the minute. This chapter is written from both Y/N and Bucky's POV.

WARNING(S) | This is your official trigger warning. Do not proceed if any of these topics upset you. Smut [ Masturbation (F&M), use of a vibrator, oral (F&M receiving), fingering, squirting, praise/slight praise kink, authority kink (sergeant kink), 40's Bucky has a very filthy mouth ], swearing.

A/N | This chapter was supposed to come out yesterday, but I wasn't feeling too well. I'm sorry for the delay, but I have made it juicy for your enjoyment!

I want to thank @jamesbuckybarnes1917 for all of her help and advice when it comes to writing this one, you were truly a great help with this! 🖤

Likes, comments and reblogs will be very much appreciated 💜

Divider is made by @firefly-graphics

Main Masterlist | Bucky Barnes Masterlist | Series masterlist | Chapter 14 | Chapter 16

Bucky is currently away for an extended mission, which will take him away for multiple weeks, possibly even months, depending on how it's going. To say that it had gotten lonely is honestly the understatement of the year, and you can't help but think of your super soldier boyfriend while you're having some alone time one night, almost a month after he'd left with barely any contact.

Work is stressing you out lately, and even though you don't want to admit it, you're in more need of an orgasm than usual, with Bucky fulfilling all your needs whenever and wherever possible. That, however, isn't an option right now, and you will have to do with your trusty vibrator.

You're lying in your bed tossing and turning, unable to find a comfortable position to sleep in, and decide to take matters into your own hands. Leaning over to your nightstand and grabbing the small light blue vibrator you and Bucky sometimes use to spice your sex life up slightly. All that is left is to think about the one person you miss more than anything. Bucky Barnes.

''Hmm, you're looking delicious today, doll,'' Bucky says, ogling you without shame.

''Yeah? I bet I would look even better without this lingerie on me,'' you tease, but before you know it, he practically ripped it off, leaving you utterly naked before his eyes, your nipples pebbled and the wetness between your thighs growing.

He picked you up and put you down on the bed with a soft thud, pulling your legs apart so he could enjoy his feast before diving in.

The second his tongue makes contact with your clit, your back arches off the bed with a loud moan, making him smile against you. ''Tastes so good, doll, tastes fucking amazing for me,'' he says, and you let out a small whimper at the praise.

One of your hands found its home in Bucky's hair, and the other is playing with your breasts and nipples to give yourself even more stimulation.

Bucky's tongue keeps lapping through your folds, past your clit, and into your entrance, making your back arch slightly with every movement until he decides to stop teasing for now, his mouth sucking on your clit and his metal fingers slipping into your entrance.

''Ah, Bucky, r-right there!'' you moan out when his fingers are curling into you, and with a fast pace, he's giving you intense pleasure by finding your particular spot.

It doesn't take long for you to come undone under his touch, ultimately, your orgasm quickly washing over you. ''B-Bucky! I'm-'' is all you get out before you're trembling, arching, and moaning under his professional touch. He knows exactly how to make you fall apart without a single problem.

Right at the moment you're reaching your climax in your fantasy, you also cum in real life, having turned the vibrator up a few notches, making you squirt all over your sheets.

''F-fuck...'' you breathe out as you come down from your high. Now you definitely can't wait for Bucky to return; you need him more than ever.

When you've come down from your high, you climb out of bed and shower to clean yourself up after throwing your sheets into the washing machine and putting clean ones on the bed.

You have finished your shower and decide on self-care by rubbing lotion all over your body and grabbing panties and one of Bucky's shirts to sleep in. This time it takes little time for you to find the sleep you've been so desperately looking for earlier.

Bucky's POV

This mission is taking way longer than expected; Bucky had hoped to be home with you by now. Instead, he's laying in a bed that is way too big for him alone, wanting nothing more than the sweet release of an orgasm, preferably buried deep inside your warm cunt.

His metal arm has been bothering him for days now, and even though it's off, the pain doesn't seem to improve. Instead of grabbing some painkillers that aren't doing much anyway, he notices that he's growing quite hard now and decides to take his mind off the pain in another way.

''Hmm...'' Bucky grunts softly at the thought of jerking off. Before he can even think about what's happening, his flesh hand is sliding down the sweatpants he's wearing, underneath the elastic of his underwear, grabbing the already hardened member.

The hiss he lets out at the feeling of the slight tug he gives himself is almost embarrassing; it's not like he's never touched at home. Home. With you. Suddenly, that's all that goes through Bucky's mind as he keeps feeling himself.

He's transported back to the '40s and recently moved up the ranks to Sergeant. It sure does have a nice ring, Sergeant James Barnes, he thinks as he walks home after a night out with Steve.

'I can't wait to see Y/N again,' Bucky thinks, already looking forward to everything he might do to you if you let him. At the thought alone, his cock starts to stir a little, slightly straining against the pants of his military uniform.

It doesn't take long for him to arrive home, and the door swings open before he can even put the key in the lock. He's greeted by the most beautiful woman he has ever seen, smiling up at him. He's growing even harder at seeing you in the dark green dress you bought recently.

''Hi, doll. How was your evening?'' he asks, leaning forward to give you a soft kiss on your cheek which you happily accepts, putting a hand on his bicep and squeezing softly. Goosebumps immediately cover his upper arm, and a shiver runs down his spine.

''My evening was good, Sergeant,'' you tell him, and his eyes immediately snap up to meet yours. He didn't miss how the title rolled off your tongue with a honey-filled voice.

You move to open the buttons on Bucky's uniform, revealing the shirt and tie underneath as you slide it off his shoulders. The tie is next, and before you can go even further, he picks you up and walks to the bedroom with you in his arms.

''S-Sergeant!'' you squeal as he lifts you, wrapping your legs around his waist for support. At this point, he is straining against the zipper of his pants, which will soon come off.

Bucky bends down so you can land safely on the bed, and he removes the dress, leaving you in your underwear which looks delicious on your curves. 'God, I love this woman so much,' he thinks as he places his hand softly on your cheek.

''Sergeant, can I take the rest of your clothes off?'' you ask, and he nods, letting you remove every last bit of clothing. When you hook your fingers below the elastic of his underwear, it's like a tiny bolt of electricity goes through his veins, making him even harder.

Your eyes move up to his, and he nods slightly, letting you take it down so his cock springs free in front of your face.

''Doing so good for me, doll, why don't you wrap that perfectly juicy mouth around it? I've missed how you feel around me,'' and without hesitation, you take him halfway down your throat on the first go.

''Fuck, doll, you take your Sergeant so well, huh? Need me deep inside that throat of yours, don't you?'' Bucky grunts and a soft moan escapes around his cock in your mouth, making him twitch at the feeling of the vibrations.

Bucky's hands found their place on your head and hair, but he doesn't dare to take over control; he's enjoying everything you're doing, and by the looks of it, so are you.

Suddenly you change your pace and hollow your cheeks, a grunt leaving your throat at the feeling. ''Jesus, you're going to be the death of me, doll,'' he groans through his teeth, but you don't let up.

''Want you to cum in my throat, Sergeant,'' you say after letting go with a wet pop. He happily complies when you start sucking again, but this time your hands leave his thighs to play with his balls, rolling them and tugging softly.

''O-oh, I'm close! Doll, going to cum!'' he shouts as you take Bucky deep into your mouth and throat, gagging as the tears stream down your face. It doesn't take long for him to squirt all his ropes of cum deep down into your throat, letting you swallow every last drop.

''You taste amazing, Sergeant,'' you say, and you get back up, pulling him in for a kiss, and let him taste himself on your tongue.

It doesn't take long for him to quicken his pace, and with a whine of your name, he cums all over his hand, stomach, and chest. God, he most definitely can't wait to return home to you.

#bucky barnes #bucky barnes fanfiction #bucky barnes fanfic #bucky barnes series #bucky barnes one shot #bucky barnes x female reader #bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes x y/n #bucky barnes fluff #bucky barnes smut

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firstkanaphans · 1 month

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hi! if you don't mind me asking, i was wondering if i could ask you about how you're able to write at the speed/output that you are able? i'm always so impressed with the rate at which you're able to update and was hoping to ask for advice 😅

because one of the hardest things for me is speed...i write soooo slowly, and so as much as i want to write multichapter fics, i feel like it would take me months between updates because of how slow i write. i think one of the reasons is that i am also constantly live editing as i write maybe? which really does slow me down, but i'm not sure how to bypass that.

i was curious if you had any tips/advice for how to write at a steady pace? do you set aside time every day to write regularly, or only when the mood "hits"? and how do you tackle those scenes where you just have no idea what to write (if that's something if you've experienced?)

of course no need to answer any of these questions - i hope i didn't overwhelm! i'm just always so impressed with your writing output that i'd love to hear any advice if you had any. thank you and can't wait for the next update of BLP 🫶

This probably isn’t the answer you want to hear, but the honest truth is that I just have a very easy day job. There are probably only about three days a month where I have to put in an eight-hour work day. The rest of the time, I use any excess work time I have to write.

It wasn’t always like this for me, though, so I understand the frustration of working a full-time job and then coming home exhausted. The last thing you want to do is write because as much as we try to pretend like it’s fun, it’s still work. It’s not mind-numbing. You can’t do it if your tank is already empty. The main reason I’m able to write quickly is simply that I have the time and the mental energy to do so.

Like you said, one of the biggest tips I can give you when trying to write faster is to turn off your inner editor while writing your first draft. It took me a long time to learn how to do this, but it has been immensely helpful. I will obviously correct typos while I’m writing, but other than that, I really don’t go back and edit anything until the whole first draft is complete. The only exception would be if I get halfway through a chapter and just know something’s not working. At that point I will stop and at least figure out what the problem is so that I don’t waste time writing scenes that may need to be cut depending on what I have to change. But other than that, I largely ignore correct grammar and even good writing in favor of just getting words down on the page.

If you’re a perfectionist like me and the thought of doing that is just completely off-putting, I’ll sometimes trick myself by pretending I’m not writing anything important. In all of my documents, I put the word START where I’m meant to start writing for the day. If I know I’m going to be writing really rough, I just don’t move the START from where it is and that tricks my brain into letting me write bad because I know the next day I’ll start from that same place. So essentially, I’m writing very badly one day and then going back to edit it into something readable the next. I cannot stress enough how much difference even just a day makes in your ability to edit more objectively. I never post chapters on the same day I finish them because I want to give my brain at least 24-hours to mull it over before I start editing.

As for writer’s block, I have pretty much eradicated that from my life simply because I outline everything so thoroughly beforehand. For instance, today I’ve been going through my outline for Chapter 4 of Best Laid Plans so that I can start writing it. One of the bullet points says, “Akk, Aye, Kan, Wat, and Thua eat lunch together.” My job today is to figure out what they’re going to talk about during that lunch so that when I get to that scene, I won’t draw a blank and spend days trying to figure it out instead of actually writing.

Now, that’s not to say that there aren’t days where I just don’t want to write, but for me, those days are few and far between. I don’t, however, believe in forcing yourself to write even when you don’t want to because your output is going to show your frustration with the task. I would never encourage someone to set a goal to write every day because I believe that’s just setting them up for failure. In the end, this really is just a hobby and you should work at your own pace and comfort level. If you’re bored with a multi-chapter fic you’re writing, take a break to write a one-shot. Or add something to your outline to spice up the next scene so that it re-energizes you.

It’s funny because I think output numbers get wildly skewed in fandom because some of us are actually insane. It’s not odd to see 20K-word chapter updates or fics literally longer than the Bible (773K words). If you write 1000 words a week (less than 150 words a day), that’s 52K words in a year, which is very nearly novel-length—and longer than any multi-chapter fic I’ve written. You would never expect a published author to write more than one novel a year, so don’t expect that from yourself either.

#asks #writing advice

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bejingren · 2 months

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jingren is quite intimidated by the whole process, which is a bit sad to admit. this tall kid with a resting face that looks as if he's not anxious with butterflies inside floating all around. why is he here? it's not as if he hasn't been improving in the last while. he has. a bit aimlessly, but he has. slowly but surely. coordination has improved. he's in a mental battle with himself for sure, as his eyes and mind follow the introduction to what they are about to do for the auditions. three auditions. he will have to tackle this like one of his school exams, except he is infinitely less ready. an approach that he hates taking towards school.

steeling his mind, he'll have to do the best he can. that's all he's here for. failure or success, every step is a step towards...... figuring himself out.

starting off with lime entertainment, jingren wonders if this will be the hardest part of the day or the easiest. wide-eyed, innocent yet serious, he's got sixty seconds to give it his all and he can sing a song in mandarin, which he is more comfortable with, and it's a slower song too. it's a portion of the song by daven wu, the quiet scarecrow. his voice is steady, but it ought to be with a song that isn't face paced, especially when he's not dancing. he's... he didn't want to tamper with his singing or his dancing by combining the two so he wanted to give it his all with the vocals.

oh. a round of questions, you say? jingren feels a bit antsy at that too, but it doesn't seem nearly as bad. think of it as a ... pop quiz. with SR media, jingren thinks keenly before answering the questions. "what would i do if i won ₩1,000,000,000 in the lottery... it's a boring answer but i definitely would invest. and probably take a vacation. although since i don't buy lottery, it would never happen but theoretical questions like this are fun to think about." even though his answer wasn't actually any fun. "what was the first thing i thought about when i woke up this morning...?" he's very literal. "my first thought is always whether i woke up on time or not. i usually wake up before my alarm, and it bums me out when i oversleep, which is rare in itself. that and then i go through my typical morning routine." sometimes his answers drive his friends mental, but what can he do? jingren isn't one to be dishonest. "and.... a favourite useless fact. i......" the boy smiles, a few space facts at the top of his mind are ready. "if you are in outer space, as an astronaut. depending on how long you stay out there, you can grow taller because your spine stretches but your back will really hurt so it's not a good thing. you also have to work out when you're in space every day for at least two hours!"

sr media has him a bit stumped. but that's the whole point isn't it? to think on his feet and have something on the fly. he's always been affiliated to the stars and the skies in a way, but they're indoors here. he can't point out to the skies looking for stars in the daylight anyway. he has to have something else. so jingren does just that. "ahmm.... i can do handstands. i'm more balanced on my forearms but... i can do handstands too." it's definitely been a while so he moves over to proper positioning to start first with forearm stands, getting comfortable in that first. he should definitely pick up yoga again. maybe with his morning or winddown routine at night. moving out of that position, he goes back down and moves into a handstand properly this time. too bad he couldn't walk in a handstand, but he could at least stay in this position for some time. jingren does this for some time before coming back up, shaking it off, smiling. a bit rusty, but it will do.

#be:ngs2p1 #i was so indecisive so that is why i am so late LOL #wc: 688

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ghost-kitty · 3 years

Text

I was bored, so I decided to write down my NS.FW alphabet headcanons for LawLu. Thought I might as well share them here too and maybe you guys want to share some of your hcs too 🥺👉👈

Smut Alphabet, LawLu version:

Aftercare (What they’re like after sex)

Law: Law knows how important aftercare is and he's prepared okay. He always has everything ready: snacks, fluffy blankets, soothing oils, some of his old clothes; everything. He can get pretty rough so it's important to shower Luffy in love and affection afterwards.

Luffy: He's a little shit, okay? He loves to get spoiled rotten. On most days he just demands cuddles and snacks but taking a relaxing bath with Law is one of his favourite things to do after sex.

Bodypart (Their favourite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

Law: He's pretty proud of his huge cock of course lmaoo but also his hands. What he loves most about Luffy is his face, as cheesy as that might be. And his butt. Luffy has a great butt.

Luffy: He's not insecure about his body so he basically likes everything about it. For Law: he loves his hands too, they always know exactly how to make him feel good. And the tattoos of course, especially the one on his chest.

Cum (Anything to do with cum basically…)

Law: Oh boy, Law loves to make Luffy his cum dump! Cumming on Luffy's face or butt is a huge turn on for him. Filling him up (ass or mouth) - yes!!!

Luffy: He likes the taste of Law's cum, so swallowing it is a clear favorite. He likes to play with it too, he's all for scooping up his own cum to lick it off his fingers. That he drives Law crazy with this is a bonus.

Dirty secret

Law: Yes, he did use his df to masturbate before. His first blowjob was him sucking himself off.

Luffy: Luffy? Keeping secrets? Nah.

Experience (How experienced are they? Do they know what they’re doing?)

Law: He has a ton of experience with both men and women. However, sex with feelings is a first for him so doing it with Luffy was quite overwhelming at first. He still gets a bit nervous from time to time but he's good at hiding it.

Luffy: No experience until he and Law started dating.

Favourite position

Law: Law loves taking his partners doggy style but with Luffy he really loves missionary and the intimacy of it.

Luffy: He enjoys most positions but oh man, that boy loves riding. Definitely his favorite.

Goofy (Are they more serious in the moment, or are they humorous, etc)

Law: He's always been the serious type but Luffy showed him that being goofy during sex can be awesome.

Luffy: Luffy loves being silly during sex. Lots of giggles. Especially enjoys when he can even get some giggles out of his boyfriend.

Hair (How well groomed are they, does the carpet match the drapes, etc.)

Law: Like with his facial hair, Law is well groomed down there too. Always trimmed and clean. He has armpit hair and hairy legs too.

Luffy: Hair? On his head, yes. Everywhere else? Nope, not a single hair grows on his rubber body. (Law secretly loves it)

Intimacy (How are they during the moment, romantic aspect…)

Law: He can be surprisingly romantic. It all depends on the mood he's in though. But even when he's being rough, he always makes sure to whisper into Luffy's ear how much he loves him. Loves kissing and caressing all of Luffy's scars.

Luffy: Luffy is not really the type for big romantic gestures but he can't deny that he loves it when they have gentle sex. The look of pure love and adoration on Law's face is one he'll never get tired of. He loves the passionate kisses!

Jack off (Masturbation headcanon)

Law: He doesn't masturbate that often to be honest. Doing it by himself just isn't the same. However, he does have his needs; especially when he hasn't seen his boyfriend in a while. Mostly it's just quick during his morning shower though.

Luffy: Before he and Law got together he never really experimented with playing with himself. Maybe he tried once or twice but it wasn't all too pleasurable for him.

After getting together with Law he does it from time to time when he's missing Law too much. He likes fingering himself, imagine it to be his boyfriend's long, tattooed fingers.

Kink (One or more of their kinks)

Law: Very kinky. Law loves all sorts of things. Bondage, sensation play, roleplay, choking, spanking - to only name a few. What he loves most though, is being dominant.

Luffy: He definitely has a praise kink. Luffy loves it when Law tells him that he's doing good, that he is a good boy...

Oh and he has an oral fixation.

Location (Favourite places to do the do)

Law: He's not very picky and open to try different locations. If Luffy wants to fuck in public? Sure, why not. Though, as kinky as he might be - his favorite place to have sex is in a comfortable bed.

Luffy: His favorite place to have sex is whereever he gets horny. Seeing Law licking his fingers after eating onigiri in the kitchen? I'm sorry Sanji, just deal with it. Someone tried to flirt with Law on some random island? Better drag him to the nearest alley to suck him off. On top of the Sunny's figurehead? Yes, yes, yes!

Motivation (What turns them on, gets them going)

Law: Begging gets him going like nothing else. No really, he's a sucker for it. Also, big thanks to Nami and Robin for talking Luffy into wearing lingerie to surprise Law. His hot boyfriend wearing sexy underwear? Just for him? Best thing that ever happened to him.

Luffy: Sometimes just hearing Law's voice is all he needs to get horny, really. It's mostly just subtle things: seeing Law do that thing with his hands, or feeling Law's gaze on him.

Law showing off his tattoos works every time too.

No (Something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

Law: Not many no-gos to be honest. Just nothing that would really hurt his partner. Being very possessive, threesomes are off limits with Luffy.

Luffy: Pretty much open for everything. Likes to try new things and if it doesn't feel good they can stop at any time.

Oral (Preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc)

Law: He loves both. Receiving because it feels fucking amazing, and Luffy is very good at it. And giving because he loves it when his partners enjoy themselves. Seeing Luffy coming undone from his tongue is the hottest shit ever!

Law enjoys giving head as well as rimming, important is that Luffy is squirming underneath him. He has enough experience to know what he's doing too.

Luffy: Loves both too, giving maybe a bit more due to his oral fixation. He's a natural at giving head and his devil fruit definitely helps too. No gag reflex and can deep-throat easily. Very enthusiastic.

Pace (Are they fast and rough? Slow and sensual? etc.)

Law: Loves being rough but when in the right mood, Law can be very sensual.

Luffy: Fast pace is definitely a clear favorite. Enjoys slow too.

Quickie (Their opinions on quickies rather than proper sex, how often, etc.)

Law: Law likes to take his time, long foreplay and lots of teasing, so he's not really a big fan of quickies. Luffy is though, and Law sure as hell won't say no if Luffy is in the mood for a quick fuck.

Luffy: Yes. All the time.

Risk (Are they game to experiment, do they take risks, etc.)

Law: Yes.

Luffy: YES!

Stamina (How many rounds can they go for, how long do they last…)

Law: He might have some stamina issues with his DF, but definitely not in the bedroom. Seriously, he can last for hours without coming even once. Usually two rounds, but very long ones.

Luffy: Comes pretty fast but can get hard again immediately. Multiple times. Can go for 5 rounds at least, sometimes even more. Has even better Stamina than Law (RIP)

Toy (Do they own toys? Do they use them? On a partner or themselves?)

Law: He has everything: dildos, plugs, ropes, handcuffs (normal and seastone), cock rings, blindfolds,...

Luffy: Luffy owns exactly one dildo - a gift from Law - and yes, it's an exact replica of Law's cock.

Unfair (how much they like to tease)

Law: King of teasing, no doubt. Loves to tease and could do it for hours.

Luffy: He says he hates it when Law teases him. It's a lie; he loves it.

He's good at teasing too but the thing is that he doesn't even realize that he's doing it.

Volume (How loud they are, what sounds they make)

Law: Not really loud, mostly soft moans and grunts. Tries to hold back his voice but when he's feeling very good he can't help but moan loudly. Loves dirty talk.

Luffy: One word: screamer. He's very vocal and blunt about how good Law makes him feel.

Wild card (Get a random headcanon for the character of your choice)

Law: He loves making good use of both their devil fruits! Stuffing Luffy full with his cock and a dildo? Hell yeah! Or even better: cut off Luffy's dick and use it as a dildo! He gets very creative with it…

Luffy: Loves when Law calls him names. From Baby to slut, it just drives him crazy.

A sucker for kissing!

X-ray (Let’s see what’s going on in those pants, picture or words)

Law: Huge cock. Sorry not sorry, no one can change my mind about this. Big dick Law is real.

Luffy: Average size.

Yearning (How high is their sex drive?)

Law: His sex drive is pretty average, he can do without it just fine for a long period of time. But he really loves sex and his boyfriend is young and hot so he they have sex fairly often.

Luffy: Law created a monster. Luffy wants to have sex all the time and with his insane stamina, Law has a hard time keeping up with him...

Zzz (… how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

Law: He likes to take a nap after sex. It's when he's most relaxed and his body finally allows him to fall asleep for a few hours. Being satisfied and falling asleep with the love of his life in his arms - that got to be one of the best things in the world to Law.

Luffy: Sleep? No, no. First a snack and then he still has energy for another two or three rounds… but sadly Law is already softly snoring; might as well snuggle up to him and close his eyes for a few minutes. Listening to Law's steady heartbeat is what lulls him to sleep eventually.

#one piece #lawlu #trafalgar law #monkey d. luffy #smut alphabet

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b-yeonder · 4 years

Note

Hey are the requests open? If so, can you do a a-z nsfw for Lucifer? If they're not open then please ignore this. Anyways, I love your writing and I'm looking forward to more 😊😊😊

I’ve never done one of these before so I hope it’s okay. Also I struggle to take anything seriously so of course there’s gonna be some dumb shit in here. Anyway, hope you enjoy and thank you so much!

Warnings: NSFW, mentions of murder

NSFW A-Z: LUCIFER

A = Aftercare (What they’re like after sex)

Lucifer can be rough - he's known to be a sadist after all but that doesn't mean he doesn't know how to look after you once he's had his way. Softens his voice, asks if you're okay, if there's anything you need. Will clean you up and praise you for how well you did. If it's him needing the aftercare, he's very quiet, playing over what just happened. Appreciates a drink and gentle caresses to bring him back down to earth

B = Body Part (Their favourite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

I think that Lucifer has quite a lot of insecurities - being told you're perfect all the time can make you dwell more on your flaws (or what you deem to be flaws.) But one thing he does like is his eyes. He knows he can make you lose yourself in his eyes with a single look. One look from across the room and he can have you begging for him within moments.On you he loves your hands. He doesn't let many people get close, let alone touch him, but your hands can ease his pains and make him feel loved. Massages, caresses, the way you hold his head against your chest at night, or the way you grip his cock so eagerly once he's riled you up. Also ties into a little somethin' I'll mention below in the D section eh ehhhh. (Oh and your mouth is a close second. (And not just because you called him baby boy once and had him malfunctioning for a whole hour.))

C = Cum (Anything to do with cum basically… I’m a disgusting person)

Lucifer doesn't like the thought of cleaning up, so prefers to cum inside you - it's his main way of showing that you're his. But accidents happen and there have been times he's slipped out at the last minute and coated the skin of your stomach/back and for a moment he found himself admiring it - like a new way of marking you as his. Oh he also likes painting your tongue with his cum too because watching you swallow it makes his pride bl o s s o m.

D = Dirty Secret (Pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

Dirty to him anyway - he actually likes submitting to you. (Once you two are quite established.) Shock horror! But you're the only one he trusts to completely let loose with, and sometimes when you have this much pressure on you it's nice to let someone else take control. BE HONOURED. OH and the hand thing. He will fucking worship your digits. Kiss 'em, suck 'em, nuzzle 'em. OOF.

E = Experience (How experienced are they? Do they know what they’re doing?)

He's been around for a long time, so it goes without saying he's had plenty of experience. He's well versed in the basics and is quick to pick up on every little thing you like to use against you (in the best way possible).

F = Favourite Position (This goes without saying. Will probably include a visual)

Likes being able to see your face, to watch every little sound escape your lips, every little sign of pleasure. Feeds off of it. But is not averse to shoving you face first into the mattress and fucking you senseless until you can barely utter a word. So y'know depends on his mood really.

G = Goofy (Are they more serious in the moment, or are they humorous, etc)

Serious. But dumb shit can happen during sex and even the Mighty First is not immune to this. Will laugh stuff off and get things quickly back on track by muttering naughty things in that delicious voice of his. If you insist on being jokey he'll insist on making it so you can't do anything but moan ;)

H = Hair (How well groomed are they, does the carpet match the drapes, etc.)

He's a busy guy, but he makes sure to always be groomed. This does mean that things get on top of him and well...don't blame the overworked tired bean if he gets a little unruly down there sometimes, okay?

I = Intimacy (How are they during the moment, romantic aspect…)

He's almost always quietly praising/encouraging you - in between the teasing of course.

J = Jack Off (Masturbation headcanon)

He's a stressed mess, he needs to release his frustrations somehow. Does it less so since you came along, and honestly didn't masturbate too often before, but when he does it's a scene. He takes his time, making sure to work up to a glorious finish so that he can truly relax afterwards.

K = Kink (One or more of their kinks)

Probably has a Sir or Daddy kink. Kinda likes choking you as well. One time your hand slipped from his chest to his throat without you thinking and that's when he realised he kinda likes being choked too oii oiiii.

L = Location (Favourite places to do the do)

His freakin' giant glorious bed because he's old and has back pain. Also bending you over his desk after rather troublesome days works too.

M = Motivation (What turns them on, gets them going)

You teasing him throughout the day. "MC you're eating that corn too sexually I'm going to have to teach you a lesson later." "Did you just call me mum? I don't care if it's an accident, I'm going to have to punish you later." "Did you just breathe? That's it, you asked for it." In all seriousness he rarely shows his want for you on the outside, but inside he'll be raring to ravage you. Depends on the day - one day you could have him popping a boner simply by rubbing your foot against his calf. The next, stripping naked and grinding on his face might not even make him blink.

N = NO (Something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

"Roleplay as Satan for me, Lucifer." You're probably dead before you even finish speaking those words, sorry I don't make the rules. (Oh wait I kinda do right now oops.)

O = Oral (Preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc)

Prefers to give as he likes having the power over you to make you come completely undone. Can feel a little vulnerable receiving - maybe he got bitten by a devious ex lover, who knows, but once you get going and his confidence with you grows he likes nothing more than grabbing the back of your head and urging you to take more of him.

P = Pace (Are they fast and rough? Slow and sensual? etc.)

He can be both. Fast and rough are his go-to, and when he does go slow, his thrusts are still usually on the harder side.

Q = Quickie (Their opinions on quickies rather than proper sex, how often, etc.)

He loves taking his time with you, as he likes driving you crazy for him but if the mood calls for it he has no issues with bending you over his desk and taking you right then and there. Will probably take extra care of you next time.

R = Risk (Are they game to experiment, do they take risks, etc.)

Damn straight he's down to experiment. Is curious to see how far both of you can go and what you're willing to do.

S = Stamina (How many rounds can they go for, how long do they last…)

Only one round, his back hurts too much. I'm kidding, he can go a few rounds, and can last a long time. There have been a couple occasions he's cum rather fast - either when drunk, or it's been a while since the last time. Gets very embarrassed over it but knows it's natural and happens sometimes. (That’s not the norm though, he promises.)

T = Toy (Do they own toys? Do they use them? On a partner or themselves?)

He got a bit crazy when you came along. Anything you like the sound of, he has. Already had blindfolds and things to bind you with - rope, ribbons, string cheese, you name it. But now you're here he has a whole collection of toys to tease you with. Even has a favourite vibrator he loves to leave strapped to your thigh so you can't get away from it. Ah, good times.

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

Biiitch. BIiiiiiiiiiiiiiitch. This monster is the biggest tease. "Hm...I'm not sure you deserve my cock today, MC. Now now, begging will get you nowhere." (It probably will eventually, just saying. ...Maybe.) He'll leave you on read for days but magically turn up just as you're about to pleasure yourself like "nuhuh bitch, not today."

V = Volume (How loud they are, what sounds they make)

Fairly quiet - any sounds he does make are low in his throat, deep. Loses control closer to reaching his climax - gets breathier, speaks a little louder and noises are more frequent. Buuut once he did manage to wake up everyone in the house but that was because you'd been teasing him all day, you hadn’t slept together in like a week, and he'd been drinking and-- the list of excuses go on.

W = Wild Card (Get a random headcanon for the character of your choice)

Was once convinced to try out women's underwear once after a conversation with Asmo and was pleasantly surprised by how nice his ass looked. Will never EVER tell anyone this though, not even you and shit I shouldn't even be writing this he's probably gonna-- Oh heyyy Lucifer, nothing to see here I was jus--*gurrKH*

X = X-Ray (Let’s see what’s going on in those pants, picture or words)

Decent length, decent thickness. Just enough to take a bit of work to fit in but not too much that it's uncomfortable, y'know?

Y = Yearning (How high is their sex drive?)

Not very high, definitely not above average. Can definitely go without, but his mind might wander.

Z = ZZZ (… how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

Depends how tired he is, and how much is on his mind. You'll probably be the one to fall asleep first most of the time, which is great because he's good at giving after-sex cuddles. Plus your steady breathing makes it easier for him to sleep as well so...win win?

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goldencuffs · 4 years

Note

I'M HORRIBLE AT PROMPTS. laurent trying to do something really nice for damen&it kind of goes to hell but damen loves him so much&can't quit loving on him for it all? or laurent goes to some university&everyone thinks he's gorgeous but he's kind of a bitch&when he tells them he has a boyfriend everyone is like yeah right then damen comes to pick him up, looking hotter than anyone has any right to be&laurent melts with him? i'll read literally anything you write, it could be a n y t h i n g

@marrieddorkss im so so so sorry this took so fucking long lmao my god. im a mess. hopefully you still like it?? and it isnt such a fucking disaster lol??

Summary: Laurent decides to do something nice for Damen – and then immediately regrets it.

When Laurent comes back from his last class of the day, it’s to find Damen standing outside his dorm room, wearing a nice, oversized tank top and fraying shorts. The duffle bag by his feet is packed full; Laurent can see the sides of it are lumpy.

“Hey.” Damen’s smile is pleasant. It transforms his face and makes him look younger, despite the stubble growing across his face.

Laurent smiles too. “Hello,” he says, and when he’s close enough, he rests his hands on Damen’s hips and goes on his tiptoes to kiss his nose.

Damen’s smile widens, the creases by his eyes deepening. He scans Laurent’s face intently. “I’m guessing that your presentation went well?”

“It went well,” Laurent says. He pauses. “Actually, it went very well. I managed to answer every single question at the end.”

Damen wraps his arms around Laurent’s shoulders in a tight squeeze. “Fuck yeah!” He cheers. His enthusiasm is genuine, and it makes Laurent’s face heat.

“It’s not that big of a deal – I’m sure there are other people who did way better.”

“Stop that,” says Damen. He kisses Laurent’s forehead. “You killed it; I know you did.”

Laurent doesn’t answer. He just tips his head up in a silent request. Damen’s smile softens around the edges, and then he leans down to kiss Laurent fully on his mouth.

The kiss heats up quickly, as usual. Damen licks inside his mouth with vigour, his hand moving down Laurent’s back to grip his ass. Laurent moans into it, tugging on the front of Damen’s shirt to pull him closer.

Damen’s cock is already hard; it presses up against the inside of Laurent’s thigh in a slow, teasing drag. Laurent shifts his own hips forward, his body tight with anticipation.

A door slams shut at the end of the corridor and Damen detaches himself from Laurent in a measured pace, realising at the same moment Laurent does, that they’re in a very open, public setting.

“Come inside,” Laurent tells him.

Damen squeezes his ass again. “Here?” His smirk is sharp and arrogant.

Laurent hates how much he likes it.

He doesn’t let Damen know that though; instead, he rolls his eyes and drags Damen inside to his dorm room. It’s far from its usual pristine condition; Laurent hasn’t made his bed in a week, his dirty clothes are in a pile by the door and his desk is overflowing with papers, textbooks and plastic wrappers from food he’s bought lately.

Laurent grimaces at the mess. Damen doesn’t seem to mind, or even acknowledge it; he flings himself onto the single bed with as much ease as he can, hauling his duffle bag up with him.

“What’s in there?” Laurent asks.

The duffle bag is an expensive, leather one. For years, it had sat alone and dusty in the Revere’s garage, until Laurent had gifted it to Damen over the summer. Now, it’s used constantly; Damen takes it with him to classes and football practice and is rarely seen without it. He takes good care of it too: he diligently cleans it once a week and keeps it stored in his closet, away from sunlight.

Damen waggles his eyebrows in response to Laurent’s question. He sits up again and opens it with an exaggerated amount of fanfare, slowly inching the zipper in small tugs.

It’s amusing; it shouldn’t be, but almost everything Damen does makes Laurent laugh. He likes that.

Inside the lining of the bag, the tag is visible. It used to simply read ‘Revere’, but someone – probably Nikandros – has added, with marker, an apostrophe and the word ‘bitch’, so the entire thing says: ‘Revere’s bitch’.

Laurent also likes that.

Laurent doesn’t focus too long on the tag. The contents of the bag are much more appealing: there’s an assortment of treats packed haphazardly inside. Laurent can see chip packets, chocolate, tubs of ice cream and a four pack of Krispy Kreme donuts.

Laurent taps the lid of one of the ice cream containers; it’s sea salt, his favourite. “Did you rob a grocery store? Is this your first step into the tantalising world of crime?”

Damen’s shrug is uncharacteristically shy. His fingers are still toying with the zipper, but he still manages to look Laurent in the eye as he says, “They’re for you. I figured – depending on how your presentation goes – they’d either be celebratory snacks or conciliatory ones.”

Laurent smiles. There’s a sudden, pressing warmth in his chest. “Really,” he says, touched.

Damen is still shy; it’s a strange yet endearing look on him.

Laurent’s smile doesn’t waver. He pushes the duffle bag a little, so it ends up against the wall, rather than between them. He crosses the now empty space, shifting closer to Damen until Laurent manages to straddle his lap, knees digging into the hard mattress below.

He presses a soft kiss to the corner of Damen’s mouth. He keeps his mouth there, against the stubble across Damen’s jaw, and says: “Thank you. I love how thoughtful you are.”

Damen swallows, eyes darkening. His hands rest on Laurent’s hips. His touch is deceptively light.

This time, Laurent initiates the kiss. He keeps it slow, the way he favours, and Damen lets him. His hands begin to wander over Laurent’s body; even when they’re not fucking, Laurent has come to learn that Damen likes to touch him constantly.

When Damen’s hands settle on Laurent’s ass once more, Laurent shifts his hips a little. Damen’s other hand drops to cup Laurent’s ass cheek.

Laurent’s gasp is a quiet sound; most of it is swallowed by Damen’s mouth.

They begin a slow, steady rut. It reminds Laurent of the first time they did this, a few months ago in a secluded booth in Route, the small club down the road from their campus.

Laurent didn’t know Damen too well at the time, but he was always petering around the Student Life office, where Laurent had been volunteering on and off throughout the semester. He wasn’t sure what Damen did there: sometimes he volunteered to help with administrative tasks, but mostly, from what Laurent saw, Damen seemed to just want to hang around him.

They formed a tentative, shallow relationship that consisted of very poor flirting on Laurent’s part and a lot of unprecedented confidence on Damen’s.

It was obvious to everyone how much Damen wanted to fuck Laurent; he always looked half crazed every time Laurent so much as looked at him. Laurent found that he didn’t exactly mind it; Damen was attractive, receiving his attention was heady, and it wasn’t as though Laurent was swimming in proposals.

So, when Damen had asked him to hang out at Route with him on a Saturday night, Laurent had said yes, fully expecting the outcome of the evening.

Still, Damen had seemed surprised when, after two drinks, Laurent climbed into his lap. Their first kiss had been relatively innocent: just a short, chaste peck. Then Laurent, spurred on by the alcohol, deepened it. Damen responded eagerly, pulling closer Laurent and licking into his mouth with a shocking amount of indecency.

After a while, he’d pulled back. His eyes had been so dark, and he’d gazed at Laurent with awe.

Laurent had said: “If you’re going to keep looking at me like that, you might as well just fuck me here.”

Damen had inhaled sharply; even with all the noise around them, Laurent still managed to hear it.

Twenty minutes later, Laurent had been pressed down into his mattress as Damen licked him open for his cock.

As he’d pushed into him for the first time, Damen panted into his ear, “Fuck, I don’t usually do this on a first date.”

Laurent had laughed.

Afterwards, Laurent had thought he wouldn’t see much of Damen anymore. He knew how one night stands worked. He suspected that now that Damen had been inside him – more than once, actually – he would stop loitering around the Student Life office.

That didn’t happen. Instead, Damen seemed more persistent to hang around Laurent. Laurent let it happen. By this point, he’d grown fond of Damen, the way someone might feel fond over a stray puppy that constantly showed up at their door.

Besides, as the weeks wore on, Laurent discovered that as well as being extremely sexually compatible, Damen and he were also compatible outside of bed; they became fast friends, much to the bemusement of everyone else.

It’s amazing how far they’ve come, Laurent thinks. He doesn’t think he’s been so comfortable with anyone in his entire life.

Now, in the silence of his bedroom, Damen’s lips drag across Laurent’s neck. Laurent shivers, fingers running over Damen’s shoulders. He’s careful as he tugs off Damen’s shirt. Damen’s chest is marvellous – it’s all sculpted pecs and hard planes. There’s a tattoo of a lion roaring on his right pec. It’s the most obnoxious thing Laurent has ever seen, and the first time Laurent had seen it, he’d licked it. He might’ve felt stupid about it at the time, but that feeling quickly evaporated when Damen’s hips stuttered, and he’d spilled his release inside Laurent.

Once Damen’s shirt comes off, the need to get naked becomes a priority for both of them. Damen rolls Laurent onto his back after Laurent takes off his own shirt, mouthing over his collarbone, his nipples, his bellybutton, and then his hipbone.

Laurent is quick to unbuckle his belt when Damen kisses the waistband of his jeans.

Damen is always meticulous in preparing him. It doesn’t matter if it’s been five minutes or five days since they last fucked, Damen never rushes. Laurent’s given up on trying to coax him to be faster.

Laurent’s knee jerks a little when Damen’s fingers, covered in cold lube, circle around his rim in sure strokes. Damen kisses the inside of his thigh, then the crease of his groin as Laurent pants. When his finger breaches Laurent, Laurent turns his head into the pillow, moaning against the silk fabric.

“Please,” he says quietly, and Damen groans, long and loud. He likes it when Laurent begs, a fact that makes Laurent flush.

Damen continues fingering him. The sounds are disgusting, wet and sloppy. Laurent doesn’t understand why he likes it so much.

Finally, finally, Damen pulls away. Laurent’s fingers twist the bedsheets in anticipation. He knows he’s flushed all over; he can feel the colour vining across the bridge of his nose and down his chest.

Damen’s cockhead drags down his crease. It makes Laurent delirious.

“Yeah?” says Damen. His hand grips the base of his cock and his eyes are fixed on Laurent, like he can’t bear to look away. Laurent knows the feeling; Damen looks so good like this.

“Yes,” says Laurent, in Veretian.

That makes Damen groan again. He only gets louder as he pushes into Laurent. Laurent’s eyes go cross eyed at the initial stretch. He loves this: the initial pain of Damen’s cock entering him.

“God, Laurent.” Damen grunts as he starts thrusting, biting down on the column of Laurent’s neck.

“Yeah, fuck me,” Laurent says. His hands slide down Damen’s sweaty back. “Harder – please, I need it.”

“Fuck,” Damen gasps as he complies. He lifts his head from the crook of Laurent’s shoulder and kisses him.

Laurent keens into it. He wraps his legs around Damen’s waist, murmuring encouragements in Veretian against Damen’s mouth.

Damen’s thrusts start to get shallow; his rhythm isn’t synced, but it still makes Laurent’s toes curl.

“Good?” Damen says. His biceps are straining with effort.

“You know it is,” Laurent says.

“I like the confirmation,” Damen says with that terrible smirk, and Laurent closes his eyes and lets himself take it.

Damen comes first. He’s loud when it happens; Laurent is sure his neighbours hate him.

His cock is straining against his stomach when Damen pulls out. Laurent flushes when he feels the wetness inside him, and he darkens further when Damen pulls his ass cheeks apart, watching in awe as his come dribbles out of Laurent’s hole.

“Don’t touch your cock,” says Damen.

“Fuck, fuck, fuck!” Laurent arches his back when Damen’s mouth seals over his hole.

Damen slips his tongue in easily, licking into Laurent with enthusiasm. Laurent shakes under his grip. Damen’s stubble rubs against his skin, and Laurent knows it’s steadily pinkening.

He feels on edge. His cock is so hard it hurts. He pulls on Damen’s curls desperately, and Damen buries into him deeper.

Laurent’s mouth falls open. His quiet panting fills the room, joining the cacophony of sounds Damen’s mouth produces as he eats him out.

Laurent feels like crying. He almost asks Damen to stop because it’s too much, too much, too much.

Then Damen slows down to short, tiny licks. When he resurfaces, he gives Laurent a filthy wink. His chin is wet.

Laurent comes.

Every Thursday, Laurent and Damen have lunch at a small brunch place just outside campus. It’s usually packed, but Damen always manages to secure them a table. Laurent suspects this is because Damen has slept with one of the baristas. Damen has never explicitly denied this detail.

Today, their table is outside, along the gravel path leading to the campus gardens. The weather is nice; a rarity in Marlas, and Laurent enjoys the sunshine on his face.

Initially their weekly lunch meetings had been a habit borne out of practicality: last semester, one of the only days they could meet up was on Thursday mornings. After a good, thorough fuck, Damen always needed a cigarette, and Laurent always got hungry, so their solution was to head out to this particular brunch place.

Now, though, it’s become a fixed tradition between them. Damen also refers to it as their place – which Laurent still doesn’t quite understand.

Damen orders his usual – the everything breakfast – and Laurent, pleasantly reminded of this morning’s activities when he moves in his seat, decides to order the same thing.

Halfway through their meal, they’re interrupted by Nikandros, one of Damen’s teammates. Nikandros is wearing his letterman jacket, but he shrugs it off as he pulls up a seat at their table. He steals a chorizo sausage off of Laurent’s plate, despite Laurent’s protests.

Nikandros starts talking to Damen about the statistics of their latest game while Laurent finishes up his food. Once he’s done, he pulls out his pack of cigarettes. He manages to finish half of it; he offers Nikandros the rest. Nikandros eyes fall on the cigarette, then Laurent’s mouth, before he forcibly tears his eyes away and shakes his head.

He addresses Damen again, his voice slightly hoarse, “Hey! I just remembered – guess who I saw coming out the law library today?”

“Who?” Damen takes Laurent’s cigarette.

Nikandros pauses for dramatic effect. His smirk is not as attractive as Damen’s. “Lykaios.”

Damen drops his cigarette. He doesn’t pay it much mind; instead, he leans forward in his seat, eyes alight. “Wait – seriously? You’re not messing with me?”

“Nah,” Nikandros shakes his head, looking pleased. “Asked her what she’s doing here, apparently she’s starting postgrad law this semester.” Nikandros pauses again. “Like you.”

“Wow.” Damen’s expression is brittle with disbelief. “What are the chances?”

“Seems like fate.”

“Who’s Lykaios?” Laurent asks.

“Oh,” says Damen. “She’s an old friend from when I still lived in Ios.”

“A friend,” says Nikandros. His expression is amused. “Oh, come on, you two were practically together.”

“That’s not true,” Damen says quickly. He casts Laurent a reassuring look. “It honestly isn’t.”

Laurent doesn’t understand why Damen is being so defensive; it’s not news to him that Damen has been with other people.

“You were pretty much in love with her, dude.” Nikandros picks a sausage off Damen’s plate this time.

“Oh,” Laurent says before he can help it. The statement takes him by surprise. One of the first things Damen had told him when they’d first started hooking up was: I don’t know what it’s like to be in love. In the stillness of the night, Damen had been vulnerable and open; it was the first time Laurent realised the person in his bed might be more multifaceted than he let on.

“No,” Damen gives Laurent another reassuring look. His foot presses against Laurent’s underneath the table. “I wasn’t.” His voice is firm. “There was a time I thought I was, but I was wrong.”

Nikandros clearly doesn’t believe him. He rolls his eyes and utters a small, “Whatever.”

Laurent pulls out another cigarette, thinking.

Later that night, Laurent is contemplative. It’s late: almost two in the morning and the rain outside is a welcome, soothing noise.

Laurent is so sore, he almost regrets the last round, as short as it was. It doesn’t keep him from draping himself over Damen’s chest, fingers lazily tracing over the tattoo on his pec.

Damen keeps running his fingers through Laurent’s sweat soaked hair, his fingernails gently scratching against his scalp. It’s so relaxing, Laurent feels like he could fall asleep like this. Practically, he knows he shouldn’t: there’s dry come on his stomach and between his thighs. He’s also sweaty, and Damen is too.

But instead of getting up, Laurent asks into the stillness of the night: “What is she like?”

Damen jerks a little; his eyes have been closed for a while now.

“Hm?”

“Lykaios,” Laurent says. “I want to know what she’s like.”

There’s a small pause. Damen shifts again. “Why?”

“I don’t know. It seemed like she means a lot to you – and I’m interested.”

“She meant a lot to me. As in, past tense.”

“It didn’t seem that way during lunch,” Laurent points out. He doesn’t know why Damen is being so evasive and why it’s bothering him so much. “You seemed excited to hear about her.”

“Well yeah,” Damen says. In the darkness, it’s hard to read his usually expressive face, but Laurent can still sense a growing tightness in Damen’s body. “But that’s only because it’s been a while since any of us have heard from her. She sort of disappeared after first year.”

Laurent pinches Damen’s bicep. “Tell me.”

Damen sighs. He rolls over, so Laurent is unfairly jostled aside. He turns on the lamp on the bedside table. As the room is washed in a dull yellow light, Laurent can see how matted Damen’s hair has become, as well as the fingernail indentations along his shoulders.

“There’s honestly not much to say,” Damen says. His voice is very quiet, mindful of the neighbouring dorm rooms. “We were family friends for years, and in my senior year I realised I liked her a lot – more than I thought I did. But she had a boyfriend, so I never did anything about it. And then she dumped him because she liked me, but this time I was seeing someone. So, in the end, nothing happened.”

“That’s it?” Laurent frowns. In his mind, he keeps replaying Damen’s reaction at lunch; surely, there must be more to the story. Damen huffs. It almost seems like he’s pouting. He pokes Laurent’s stomach, hard. “You’re being very annoying.”

Laurent swats his hand away. “Are you still in love with her?”

“I already told you I never was. I just thought I could be because I was a horny eighteen year old.”

That makes Laurent laugh. It’s an unintentional sound, but it makes Damen smile.

“I’m not interested in anyone but you,” Damen says, too sincerely. The words hang heavy in the air.

Laurent doesn’t know what to make of it – not just the words, but Damen’s tone as well. It makes his stomach clamp up. He thinks Damen is making a point about how attractive he finds Laurent; in bed, the subject of Laurent’s body is always a welcoming topic.

So, Laurent says, a little awkwardly, “Thank you.”

Damen snorts. He looks fond. He kisses Laurent, and Laurent gladly welcomes it.

It’s a slow, sensual kiss. Damen keeps mapping out Laurent’s body with his hands, fingertips tracing over the veins across Laurent’s wrist, his chest.

“Think you can go again?” Damen says against his mouth. Pressed to each other like this, Laurent can feel Damen’s erection. It’s hot, he thinks to himself, how Damen physically reacts to him, even when Laurent hasn’t done anything to particularly excite him.

He’s still sore, sweaty and gross, but Laurent says: “Yes.”

Laurent is late to his study session with Damen on Wednesday. They normally don’t study together; tonight is an exception. Damen is apparently tired of being cooped in his room alone as he pours over his essays.

Outside the study room, Laurent pauses. Through the clear glass, he can see Damen is already seated, textbooks placed carelessly over the wooden tabletop. But he’s not alone. There’s someone seated on the edge of the table, in the one corner free of Damen’s things.

It’s Lykaios. Laurent knows it must be; Damen’s face is exuberant, creased with warmth. His smile is filled with teeth, white and straight, and there’s a lingering softness there. Laurent’s chest clenches with a foreign feeling. He’s unsure what it is, but then deduces it must be relief at seeing Damen so happy.

Laurent almost turns back. He wants to give Damen and his not-quite ex-girlfriend time to catch up. The thought of intruding on them with his presence fills him with anxiety. But he remains rooted on the spot because, for some strange reason, the thought of leaving them alone also fills him with anxiety.

Luckily – or perhaps, unluckily; Laurent still hasn’t made up his mind – Damen spots him through the glass. His smile, now directed at Laurent, changes instantly; it dissolves into a steady kind of fondness. His eyes seem to shine brighter.

It completely baffles Laurent.

His chest tightens again; this time, it’s much more pleasant.

Laurent supposes he should enter now. Damen seems to have forgotten about Lykaios; his eyes remain on Laurent as Laurent fumbles with the doorknob and steps into the room.

“Hey,” he says. His smile – and voice – wobble. “Sorry I’m late.”

“Don’t worry about it,” Damen’s smile, impossibly, widens even more. Laurent’s gaze is helplessly drawn to it.

They stare at each other for a few moments longer than necessary until Damen seems to remember they’re not alone. He fumbles over the introductions, face flushed.

Lykaios is unbelievably gorgeous. Like most Akielons, she’s very tall; even wearing flats she’s a few inches taller than Laurent. Laurent tries not to be bitter about it. Her hair isn’t as blonde as Laurent’s, but it’s long and shiny. Her eyes are amazing; long lashed and an intriguing colour, somewhere between green and blue.

Standing next to Damen, the two of them look like a regal painting. They look good together. They complement each other.

Laurent – unexpectedly, painfully – feels inadequate.

Lykaios rounds the table and shakes Laurent’s hand with vigour. Her smile is kind and open; her enthusiasm is genuine. “It’s so nice to finally meet you! Damen has managed to mention your name about a hundred times in the last half an hour.”

Damen flushes at that, suddenly busying himself with rearranging his textbooks.

Laurent smiles. He can feel the heat travel across his face. “It’s nice to meet you too.”

“I’m sorry for interrupting your study session.” Her voice is so sweet, Laurent thinks he could listen to her talk all day. “I was literally just walking past and saw Damen in here. I almost couldn’t believe it.” She turns to Damen and gives him in an assessing look. “It’s been what – six years?”

“Fuck off,” Damen says, with little heat. “I don’t want to be reminded of how old I am.”

Lykaios laughs at that. Her laugh is sweet too.

Laurent says, “You guys will probably see more of each other now. You’re in the same course, right?”

Lykaios beams. “Yep! Another weird coincidence.”

“Or fate,” Laurent points out.

Damen gives him a strange look. “Definitely just a coincidence.”

“Ah, who knows the mysterious ways of the universe,” says Lykaios. She gives Laurent a wink.

Laurent decides he likes her, despite the twisting in his gut.

It’s why he says: “Did you want to stay and study with us? We were also going to grab some dinner afterwards. You could join us for that too.”

Damen gives him another strange look; this one is brittle with disbelief.

Laurent ignores it. He keeps his eyes on Lykaios, who smiles at him.

“Thank you for the very kind offer, but I’ve already got plans tonight, I’m afraid.” She seems genuinely sorry, and it makes Laurent like her even more.

“Maybe next time,” Laurent says.

Damen frowns.

Lykaios doesn’t stay too long after that; she claims she needs to start getting ready for her night out. When she leaves, she kisses Damen’s cheek. Laurent bristles a little at that.

But his annoyance morphs into pleasantness when she hugs him goodbye – like Damen, she is very touchy, Laurent notices.

As soon as the door closes behind her, Damen kisses Laurent, hard and open mouthed. It’s a terrible kiss; Laurent isn’t expecting it, and he almost topples backwards with the force of it. Then he starts laughing, so Damen’s mouth mostly meets his teeth.

The second one is much, much better.

“I’ve been wanting to do that for the past ten minutes,” says Damen. “Next time, kissing first, and then we move on to having a conversation.”

“Shut up,” says Laurent. He pulls out his textbooks, trying not to laugh. After a few moments, he says, “She seems really nice. I can see why you liked her so much.”

He imagines Damen at eighteen, maybe a little naïve and cocky, completely enamoured by Lykaios’ sweetness.

Damen rolls his eyes. “Yeah, yeah.” He squints at Laurent. “You’re not still hung up on that are you?” His mouth deepens into a smirk. He waggles his eyebrows. “Need me to prove my loyalty, baby?”

Laurent flushes. It’s not the first time Damen has used that endearment – he mostly says it in bed – but it still catches Laurent off guard every time.

His mouth is suddenly very dry. The only thing he can manage to say is: “Shut up.” And then he gets to work, smiling into his shoulder when Damen’s foot wraps around his underneath the table.

Lykaios’ Instagram is an explosion of colour: she likes wearing a lot of red and green and purple. Her entire profile is filled with her travels, charity work, her friends, and some shots of her eyelids coated in glitter. The more Laurent scrolls, the more careful he is not to like anything.

There are plenty of pictures of her from high school; Damen is in most of them, fresh faced and youthful. It’s strange to look at: nothing about Damen is boyish, but these pictures prove otherwise.

Laurent comes across a photo of Lykaios and Damen from six years ago. In it, Damen has his arm around her waist while Lykaios rests her head on his shoulder.

The caption is: hbd to this guy aka my soulmate #finally18

Soulmate, Laurent thinks. His mouth purses.

Damen’s comment is the first comment. It reads: love u ly!

Laurent puts his phone down.

His thoughts come too fast: he starts to think of all the ways Damen and Lykaios fit together, how connected they seemed even after so much time apart. He thinks of how nice they looked together.

Then, Laurent starts thinking of all the nice things Damen has done for him over the last few months. The duffel bag full of his favourite snacks comes to mind, as does the time Damen took him to a fancy restaurant when Laurent had averaged a high distinction last semester. Damen had even driven him almost forty minutes to the dentist once, even though he had an assessment due in the afternoon.

Damen is always doing nice things for him, and Laurent realises, guiltily, that he’s never quite returned the favour. His own gestures have often been small and unnoteworthy; they’ve never possessed the grandeur of Damen’s actions.

Laurent knows exactly how to change that.

Laurent isn’t the most forthcoming person. It takes him an embarrassingly long time to gather enough courage to message Lykaios on Instagram. But once he makes it past his awkward introduction – hey this is laurent in case you don’t remember me – to which Lykaios had responded ofc i do silly!, their conversations are light and easy.

The more Laurent talks to her over the week, the more he’s convinced of his plan. Lykaios is everything Damen needs and vice versa. It’s crazy how similar their personalities are: they’re both incredibly sweet, intelligent and interested in almost all the same things, from okton to hiking.

The next week, Laurent invites Lykaios to his and Damen’s weekly lunch outing.

Damen smiles when he sees him. He doesn’t lose the smile on his face when he sees Lykaios, but his eyes snap to Laurent’s in confusion.

“This is a nice surprise,” he says, although his tone is dry.

Laurent pretends not to notice it. Lykaios kisses Damen’s cheek in greeting and Laurent scratches at his chest as he sits down.

Damen leans over the table to kiss him, but Laurent quickly picks out the menu and starts to read it, even though he’s practically memorised it by now. He doesn’t want Damen to kiss him now – especially in front of Lykaios – and ruin his plan before it’s had the chance to even formulate.

When he puts the menu back, Damen is openly frowning.

It disappears as Lykaios begins talking. The transformation is amazing; Damen is instantly captivated by her. Laurent swallows. This is good, he reminds himself.

Laurent waits about ten minutes. He’s started to notice that even though Damen is laughing along to all of Lykaios’ jokes, he’s still shooting Laurent glances every few seconds.

The question on his face is clear: why is she here?

Laurent plays with his phone for a while. He tries to make it look like he’s texting something important; he keeps his brows furrowed in concentration.

Laurent isn’t the best actor, but even he’s proud of himself as he lets out a small gasp.

“What is it?” says Damen, instantly alert.

“Nothing,” Laurent waves him off. “It’s just that I completely forgot I had a study session right now.” He stands up, grabs his bag. “I should go.”

“Wait –” Damen’s face pinches. “You’re leaving?”

“I’m sorry, but this is really important.” Laurent turns to Lykaios and smiles. “You two stay and have fun.”

“But –”

“Bye!” Laurent says it too enthusiastically, cutting Damen off. He walks out of the brunch place with hurried steps. He turns back at the end of the gravel path just to check if –

His chest tightens with pleasure – yes, pleasure, although he’s not sure why it doesn’t feel like it – when he sees his absence has made little disturbance. Damen and Lykaios are laughing together, mouths open in delight.

Over the next few days, Laurent organises more and more outings with Damen and Lykaios. Damen never seems to stop looking confused whenever Laurent invites Lykaios, but he also seems happy to see her, so Laurent counts it as a win. During each outing, Laurent manages to come up with a different excuse each time as to why he needed to leave early. Damen always looks disappointed. Laurent is weak for it; he can’t count how many times that look has almost made him stay, but he doesn’t, because it would be detrimental to his plan.

Laurent makes sure to text Damen whether or not he enjoyed his time with Lykaios. Damen’s responses are pretty much the same every time: Yes, but it would’ve been better if you were there too.

It frustrates Laurent. Damen isn’t supposed to still be thinking of him while he’s hanging out with his potential soulmate.

Lykaios is the first to grow suspicious. She confronts him at the next outing. They’re in an idyllic little bar in the city, with a cosy atmosphere. It’s a perfect date venue.

Damen heads to the bathroom, and Laurent stands up, ready to leave, when Lykaios stops him with a hand on his arm.

“Laurent,” she says. “Is there a reason you keep depriving us of your company?”

Laurent manages a sheepish smile. He wonders if he should say anything at all. Then, he decides he should: he feels like Lykaios would appreciate his directive.

Laurent plays with the little sugar packets on the table. “I’ve been trying to get you and Damen to spend more time together. Alone,” he adds, when he sees her confusion.

“Why?”

“Well…” Laurent hesitates; he’s just now beginning to realise how awkward this is. “I think you two would be good together…romantically.”

Lykaios raises her eyebrows.

Laurent continues, fingers still fidgeting. “It’s just…Damen mentioned how much you two liked each other a few years ago. And I think Damen still regards you very highly. Plus, you two are so alike – I just think it makes sense.”

Lykaios’ eyebrows don’t lower, but she casts a backward glance towards where Damen has disappeared to.

“I can’t say I haven’t thought about Damen and I…” she begins, and Laurent’s gut twists with…relief? Yes, he’s sure it’s relief. It’s a good – great – thing that Lykaios is interested in Damen. “But I thought –” Lykaios pauses for a few seconds. “I mean, I was under the impression that you and Damen were together.”

Laurent laughs, and then he realises she’s being serious. “You – no. We’re not. We’re friends.” Friends who spent a lot of time sleeping together, sure, but Laurent doesn’t think mentioning that now will do him any favours.

Lykaios’ face instantly changes. Her smile takes up her entire face; it’s stunning. She’s stunning.

Laurent shifts in his seat. He clears his throat. “So – you…you want to date him?”

She flushes, and it only makes her look more beautiful. “Like I said…I’ve definitely thought about it.”

“Oh – good. That’s awesome. Damen will be so happy.” He stands up. “So, I’ll leave you two alone?”

Lykaios nods. “Thank you, Laurent.”

“Don’t mention it.”

He turns around to leave. Everything in his body is screaming not to.

He keeps reminding himself that he’s doing something nice for Damen: that Damen will appreciate the fact that Laurent set him up with someone like Lykaios, a brilliant woman he has a past with. His mouth is dry, and Laurent’s palms are suddenly sweaty. Briefly, he wonders if this is always what happens when people do nice things for another. If it is…he might have to limit his niceness.

Laurent doesn’t mean to start ignoring Damen’s calls or texts. It just happens. He isn’t in the mood to listen to Damen go on about Lykaios; Laurent already knows she’s amazing.

He’s also confident that they’re dating now – or at least getting there. Lykaios posted a lot of snaps from the last night Laurent left them alone, and all of them had been of Damen smiling, drinking, smirking at the camera. They’d been there until three in the morning; Laurent knows because he’d stayed up until then, refreshing his Instagram feed to see any updates on Lykaios’ story.

What had they even been doing for so long anyway? Damen had called him until eleven, before he presumably gave up. Had Lykaios pulled a move on him? Had they gone back to Damen’s room, fucked on his bed? Had Damen thought of how he’d fucked Laurent on that same bed just last week? Or had he been so consumed by Lykaios and her pleasantness that Damen hadn’t even thought of Laurent?

Laurent had had the worst night of sleep.

And then a few nights ago, Nikandros had posted an image of the football team hanging around at his dorm room. (Laurent vaguely remembers being invited to that). In the photo, Laurent’s eyes had immediately been drawn to Damen in the corner, his head bent down as he said something to Lykaios, who had been smiling widely. It had looked very intimate. Laurent had turned his phone off when he saw it.

Alone in his room, Laurent lies on his bed, heart constricting. He should be happy for Damen. It’s frustrating him that he isn’t. And worst of all, he doesn’t know why.

He thinks it might be because he’s gotten so used to having Damen around all the time. If Damen starts seeing someone, then he’d obviously start spending less time with Laurent.

Laurent doesn’t want Damen to spend less time with him. If anything, they should be spending more time together. He only sees Damen about four times a week! That’s too little. Laurent should talk to Damen about that. He should tell him, Damen, even though you have a girlfriend now, I still want you to spend all your time with me, and I still want you to take me to fancy restaurants and then fuck me hard when we get home.

Horrified, Laurent rolls over and screams into his pillow.

A few hours later, while Laurent is trying to clean out his desk drawers, there’s a knock on the door. It’s a rapid set of knocks, loud and urgent.

Laurent frowns. He opens the door and his heart jumps when he sees Damen there, wearing a shirt Laurent had gifted him in the summer. Damen’s face is annoyed; it’s not an expression Laurent has seen often on Damen - and even rarely directed towards him.

Damen pushes past Laurent into the room. He takes up most of the space in it. Laurent’s heart still hasn’t calmed down.

“Tell me,” says Damen.

“What?”

“Tell me what I did wrong. I don’t like this passive aggressive bullshit.”

“What?” Laurent says again.

Damen crosses his arms in front of his chest. “You haven’t returned a single one of my calls or texts. You don’t want to hang out with me anymore. And I waited all night for you to show up to Nikandros’ and you didn’t.” When Laurent doesn’t say anything, he presses on. “Well? What did I do to piss you off?”

“I – nothing,” Laurent shakes his head, shocked. “I’m not mad at you.“

"Please,” Damen scoffs. “You -”

"I’m not,“ Laurent says. “I was just giving you some space.”

”Space. Why?“

"Well…” Laurent finds himself hesitating. “So you and Lykaios can spend more time together.”

“Why the fuck would I want to do that?”

“Um. She didn’t tell you?”

Damen’s eyes harden. His mouth presses into a tight line. “Can you please just give me a straight answer?”

“I’m – I’ve been trying to set you and Lykaios up.” Damen’s mouth drops open. Laurent quickly adds, “I talked to her about it and she said she’s been thinking of dating you too! So you know…” He trails off weakly.

There’s a sudden, pressing silence. It engulfs the small space of Laurent’s room.

In a very quiet, measured voice, Damen says, “What makes you think I would want to date Lykaios?”

“She really likes you Damen. And I think you two would be a good match. I mean – you’re so compatible.”

“No.” Damen’s voice is hard. “I meant: why the fuck do you think I would want to date Lykaios when I’m already dating you?”

Laurent’s eyes widen. His breath stutters in his chest. There’s a strange ringing in his ears. “We’re not dating.” His voice is too quiet; he can’t bring himself to repeat himself any louder.

Damen’s eyes bulge. It would be a comical expression if the atmosphere in the room wasn’t so deadly.

“Not. Dating.” Damen repeats between his teeth. “You – You really believe that?”

Damen’s mouth loosens around the edges. He looks like he’s received the worst news of his life.

“I –” Laurent fumbles with his words. The back of his neck prickles with discomfort. “We’re friends.”

“Is that what we are?” Damen scoffs. “My mistake, then.”

Laurent still feels wrongfooted. It’s almost like he’s not even experiencing this conversation, just watching himself have it.

“I don’t understand,” says Laurent. “I was just trying to do something nice for you. I thought it’d be good for you if you had a girlfriend like Lykaios.”

“For fuck’s sake, Laurent.” All of Damen’s anger melts away. His tone now is sullen. “I’ve literally been obsessed with you for the last six months – are you seriously just realising this now?”

“I’m –” Laurent swallows. “But you’ve never asked me out or called me your…boyfriend.” His tongue dries up around the world.

“I asked you out to Route all those months ago!” Damen says.

“No. You said: ‘do you want to go out with me to –’” Laurent cuts himself off. Now that he thinks about it, he’s sure that Damen did ask him out on a date. He’d also said, I don’t usually do this on a first date while they’d been in bed together, hadn’t he?

The realisation stumps Laurent.

“Oh,” he says.

Damen sits down on the edge of the bed, groaning. He buries his head in his hands. “Oh my god, Laurent. How can someone so smart be so stupid?”

Laurent supposes he should feel offended by that. He isn’t, though, because he genuinely feels stupid.

“You still didn’t make anything official.” Laurent says after a while.

Damen looks up. “Fuck you.” His eyebrows furrow. “What was stopping you from asking me?”

“Why would I say anything?! I thought you were only interested in fucking me!”

Damen groans again. He sounds like he’s dying. “If that were true, then why would I –” He gestures around the room. Laurent knows what he means. He thinks of all the…dates Damen has taken him on, all the gifts he’s been given, the fact that Damen doesn’t leave his side when they go to parties together.

Laurent closes his eyes. This is too much. He’s shocked by the anger that overtakes him – anger at himself.

“I’m sorry,” he says. “I can’t believe how stupid I’ve been.”

Damen looks at him steadily. He gathers his thoughts. “Do you still think I should date Lykaios? Because you seem pretty invested in the idea and I –” Damen sighs. “I don’t want to – I don’t think I can be with you if you don’t feel the same as I do.”

“How do you feel about me?” Laurent asks softly.

Damen’s gaze is burning. Laurent is pinned beneath it. “Laurent, I love you.”

Laurent gasps. It’s a soft sound, but in the stillness of the room it rattles against the walls. His throat closes.

When a few silent moments pass, Damen sighs. He stands up, mouth drooping and fingers tense by his thighs. “Alright…That’s.” He stops. He gives Laurent a small nod. “I’ll just go then.”

Laurent blocks his path with a shrill, “Wait!”

Damen stops.

Laurent’s fingers twitch. He wants to touch Damen. But he knows he should – “I don’t want you to date Lykaios. I don’t even know what the fuck I was thinking, alright? You just – you seemed so into her Damen, and I thought it would be nice if I did you a favour and set you up with her because you’re always doing nice things for me but then I got so sad and angry and confused every time you were together and then I felt guilty for feeling those things and I just –”

“Okay, slow down,” Damen’s hands grip his shoulders.

Laurent shakes his head. His chest is bubbling with all these emotions he’s refused to acknowledge. “I don’t want you to date Lykaios,” he repeats. “I want you to date me.” He pauses. “Only me.”

Damen snorts. “Easy. I’ve already been doing that.”

“I’m sorry I didn’t know,” Laurent says. His throat is still tight with emotion.

“We’ll work on communicating better,” Damen says. He peers down at Laurent until their eyes meet. “I only want you, Laurent.”

Laurent collapses into Damen. He buries his head against Damen’s chest, weak in his relief. He even sniffles a little, something Damen thankfully ignores. “I only want you, too.”

Damen’s body loosens; he exhales and squeezes Laurent in his embrace. He kisses Laurent’s temple. “That makes me so happy.”

“Me too,” Laurent says.

Guiltily, he thinks of Lykaios. He remembers her excitement at the thought of being with Damen. Laurent needs to make it up to her, somehow, if she’ll let him. Maybe he could buy her flowers? Laurent has never bought flowers for anyone in his life, but he thinks Lykaios might like roses – unless that’s too romantic? Or maybe he could –

“Hey,” Damen says, interrupting his thought process.

Laurent looks up at him. Damen’s smile is radiant; it’s all white teeth and creased eyes. “Yeah?”

“Do me a favour.”

“Anything.”

Damen kisses him. Laurent smiles into it as his entire body fills with an unparalleled warmth. He’s not sure if he loves Damen back…but he’s confident he’s getting there.

Damen pulls back. He assesses Laurent with a stern frown. “Don’t ever do anything nice for me.”

Laurent huffs. He hides his face in Damen’s chest again. “Shut up.”

#captive prince #this is 7.5k lol i dont understand the concept of a drabble clearly #please lmk if read more doesnt work i dont want ppl to scroll through such a long post #@marrieddorks im very sorry for this lol #my fic #my writing

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scripttorture · 5 years

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H! Do you know of any survivor accounts that focus on recovery? A big part of the story I'm writing happens after the main character is rescued from torture, and I want to make sure I don't downplay the effect it had on him and portray his recovery realistically. I'm mainly interested in a timeframe for reintegration/being able to go back to a "normal" life. If it's relevant, he is imprisoned and tortured (mostly beatings, stress positions, starvation and sleep deprivation) for about a month.

I’m sorry this one took so long. My best guess (and it is a guess) is somewhere in the range of 3-10 years. The rest of the answer goes into my reasoning, factors that typically effect recovery and things I’ve found helpful when I’m trying to write this sort of plot.

From the sounds of it I think the most useful thing would be someone’s diary, but I don’t think there is actually a published diary covering the period immediately after a survivor was released for months and years afterwards.

Survivor’s accounts often talk about recovery but- the thing is that isn’t usually why they make their experiences public so that often doesn’t end up being the focus.

Alleg talks about recovery but his aim in publishing his memoirs was demanding the French authorities stopped torturing people in Algeria. Similarly people like ‘Donny the Punk’ Donaldson and Nadia Murad Basee Taha talked about their experiences to highlight abuses that were taking place on a wide scale.

And that is often the reason people make their experiences public: to raise awareness, to draw attention, to demand change.

By its nature that kind of discussion tends to make recovery secondary.

It’s also worth noting that most survivors write about what happened to them a significant period of time after it actually happened. I believe there are some Inquisition era diaries that recount the period a victim was held for, but they’re rare and I think most of the authors were killed.

Monroe is interested in recovery but it’s recovery in a rather broader sense. It’s less about what people can do when and instead about the more nebulous idea of holding on to humanity and being able to have faith in other people. Her focus is war but this isn’t the sole focus of the book.

I do recommend her book, A Darkling Plain, generally. It’s most constructed of interviews her students took. Their instructions were to find someone who had lived through- Monroe calls it ‘political upheaval’, which sounds like a euphemism when she goes on to list war, genocide, violent revolution and oppressive regimes as her examples. The students were taught Institutional Review Board procedures and interviewed a survivor about their experience.

One of the things I think is… enlightening about the approach is that emphasises how close we all are to survivors. We all know someone even if we don’t know the details of what they lived through. I think it’s easy to forget that sometimes.

The interviews are very much led by the survivors. They’re generally looking back on experiences that happened years or decades ago. They go into how an experience changed the survivor, how it effected their outlook on life and whether/how they moved on.

I believe you’d find it helpful but I don’t think it necessarily answers the more precise questions that effect writing. When someone could return to a job, when someone might be ready for a relationship, how they’d interact in the community.

Based on modern accounts of the living conditions survivors find themselves in- I think the question of when people can comfortably do things is difficult because survivors are often put in a position where they’re either forced to do something before they’re comfortable with it or they’re actively prevented from doing it when they want to.

Let me try to explain that with an example. A lot of survivors now are in refugee camps. A person’s ability to find work will vary depending on the camp, the country and the individual’s legal status.

In some situations people in the camps are given very little support. In which case if the survivor doesn’t find some kind of work they might end up starving. In other situations a survivor’s immigration status might mean it’s illegal for them to work. Earning a wage can also be used as a reason to cut charitable or governmental support. Which can be a problem if the survivor is only capable of working occasionally and needs a steady source of income to keep them alive between the periods where they can work.

The environment these people are in can force them into work when it isn’t healthy for them or it can prevent them from working when having a job would help.

Environmental factors like these can obscure individual choice.

Generally I’d encourage you to think about environmental factors and how they could effect the character’s recovery. Survivor’s still have bills to pay and they might be surrounded by people who think working or going back to a mainstream school/university would be ‘good for them’.

Taking away environmental pressures there’s still a question of the character’s drive and motivation. A lot of people want to go back to doing things that are important to them. They want to recapture a sense of normality.

A character who feels very strongly about their job and is highly dedicated is more likely to be back at work quickly whether that is healthy for them or not. A medic who has built their identity around helping others is much more likely to be back at work after three months then someone who doesn’t identify with their job.

This does not necessarily mean the medic would be doing a good job or should be back at work. People do have a tendency to throw themselves back into tasks they identify strongly with.

With work there’s also, potentially, an aspect of physical recovery to consider. A character who has survived a suspension torture, with the resulting nerve damage, may not be able to go back to being a pianist. At least not without a considerable period of time adapting to their disability.

Even if a character is still able to do their job without adaptions and feels strongly about it they probably won’t be up to handling much stress or their previous workload. This does not necessarily stop people from trying.

Whether a character identifies strongly with their job or not they might feel they ‘should’ be doing some form of work. And work has the potential to be extremely helpful during a mental health crisis. It can provide routine, a reason to get up when that feels impossible. A point of stability and a place of relative safety.

Of course the flip side is it can also become a huge source of additional stress and pressure. Which it is depends on the job, the survivor, the working environment, the support (or not) of colleagues and the adaptions in place to support the survivor.

Reintegrating into the community is also complicated by factors that have very little to do with the survivor character or their symptoms.

A lot of communities reject survivors. Child soldiers and victims of rape (especially if it resulted in pregnancy) are often portrayed as traitors who have taken the ‘side’ of their abuser.

This can apply to torture survivors too. If the dominant culture sees torture as a way of obtaining accurate information (this isn’t possible) then the assumption is often that the survivor must have ‘betrayed’ the community. People also tend to assume that if someone was arrested or otherwise targetted for torture they must have been guilty of something.

If the survivor was subjected to ‘clean’ (non-scarring) tortures then- well then people usually assume that the survivor is lying and they weren’t tortured. From the sounds of things all the tortures your character survives are clean.

These factors often work in tandem and make it impossible for survivors to feel welcome in their community. That isolation and lack of support has a huge negative effect on recovery. And because it’s so rare that survivors don’t have to deal with these additional stressors it’s difficult to estimate what recovery looks like without them.

Anecdotally a lot of survivors report that support from their families and from religious institutions was incredibly important to them.

I feel like a lot of this comes down to what a ‘normal’ life means.

Because life for this character probably wouldn’t be quite like it was before. But that doesn’t mean it wouldn’t look normal.

Perhaps he wouldn’t be able to cope with the stress, pressure or uncertainty of his previous job. But that doesn’t mean he couldn’t work. Perhaps he’d struggle to do things he previously enjoyed, but that doesn’t mean he couldn’t find other hobbies.

I’m sorry that I can’t provide an accurate, statistically supported timeframe. I hope that I can describe a helpful way of approaching the problem as a writer-

It’s unlikely that the character will be able to fix everything at once. He might be able to get a ‘normal’ working routine before he has a ‘normal’ social life, for instance. Or vice versa. I’d suggest splitting up the different aspects of his life that have been effected and thinking about them separately.

You can categorise things in a way that makes the most sense for you. I’m outlining the way I would do it as an example, but if my categories don’t make sense for your story then add or remove things as you see fit.

I’d split it up into: Work, Social life, Family life, Romantic/Sexual relationships (if applicable), Communal life and Ritual (ie engagement with wider cultural activities, such as religious services, may pole dancing, getting pissed at the solstice or anything else that’s a big event).

I’d try to think about them separately and think about which area is the biggest priority for the character. I’m assuming ‘work’ comes first for the rest of the example because survivors still have bills to pay. I’m also assuming the character has enough support and stability to recover at his own pace; that the environment isn’t pressured and his environment isn’t adversely effecting his recovery.

So I would start with the symptoms and the way they manifest.

If he has anxiety or hypervigilance, what kind of situations set that off? For instance if his symptoms are triggered by crowds and loud noises then he might not be able to work in a popular night club any more.

If his ideas of ‘normal’ and his goals revolve around doing that particular job again then his recovery and returning to work would take longer. It could take several years. If his personality/experience means his goals are more flexible then he might be able to find another career that provides a less triggering environment and includes something he liked about his previous job. In that case he might be working regularly again in six months or so. Possibly less.

That could then provide enough stability/routine to let him find a balance in other areas of his life.

If he has insomnia then trying to fit his life into a regular 9-5 schedule might be more stressful then it’s worth. Finding work that lets him be flexible about when he comes in, working from home or part time or free lance- could mean a speedier return to something like ‘normal’.

Once I have some ideas about one aspect I’d take a look at the others and the wider plot. I’d think about whether there’s anything going on in the other categories, the plot or with the other characters that could impact on the survivor’s recovery.

When I’m looking across the different categories I’m also on the look out for ways I can use them to feed back into the plot.

So, if I stick with the night club example, perhaps this character has now started a job at a recording studio because this lets him indulge a passion for music with less crowds. And may be I can use that change in environment to introduce him to other characters. May be Drama at the night club is still effecting him through his social circle. May be working somewhere different means he’s unaware of the Drama and that aspect of the plot is going to take him by surprise.

Stress from the different categories will feed into how he’s doing overall and so will positive things like stability and support. Some of the aspects of the character’s life are likely to look ‘normal’ before others.

My best guess for reasonable time frames based on what I’ve read is something in the region of 3-10 years. But that’s taking everything into account across all those categories.

In the best possible circumstances your character could have one aspect of his life looking normal within a year, possibly even as short a time frame as six months. But that assumes an unusual level of support, financial independence, access to treatment and- the internal flexibility to accept a normal that’s distinct to their pre-torture experience. Which could mean a different job, or a different way of socialising or a different degree of engagement with the community.

Generally- there’s a lot lacking in the environment survivors find themselves in. There’s lack of support from family, friends and wider community, if not outright rejection. There’s a lack of accessible, specialist medical care. There’s a lack of safe housing and financial support.

My impression is that a period of years is closer to reality for most people. But we’re talking about fiction and you can choose to make your world better then the one we inhabit.

This kind of recovery isn’t linear. People do backtrack. Even people who are ‘better’ have bad days. Mostly- it’s about showing slow improvement over time and how frustrating slow improvement can be from the inside.

I hope that helps. :)

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#realkevinday #tw torture #writing victims #writing recovery #mental health #disability #recovery times #factors that help victims #factors that can make symptoms worse

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thisgirlhastales · 6 years

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after that last anon you answered, i'm now curious about how you pace your stories! i'm usually a little too excited for all the things i want to happen, so i do a lot of skipping ahead and getting to the meat for a fast-paced story. but!! your space cowboy stories are SO GOOD and i know they wouldn't be the same with my kind of pacing, so yeah. i'm curious ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Hi there, honey! :D *hugs*

Okay, this was another question I had to think about for a long time … I often conflate pacing and overall story structure, so fair warning, that is probably gonna happen here.

I’m going to start off with a fairly obvious fact, which is that different stories require different pacing, and that the rules in fanfiction, I find, are a little looser.

This is because we rarely need much exposition in fanfiction, since we’re assuming our readers already know these characters and these settings, so we don’t have to worry too much about explanations or descriptions. That being said, there is always some world-building (particularly in AUs), and that can be pretty challenging to insert without disrupting the … narrative flow, I guess?

There’s a sort of … ebb and flow, overall, to a story. There are quiet times and loud times. There’s talking and then there’s action. Now, the other reason why I say fanfiction is different is because I am perfectly happy reading a story that is literally just characters being domestic, or having emotional conversations (communication, I love it so much) or … every other fun trope in fandom.

I think the way I’ve always approached pacing is to fret about it in the planning stage. Once I start writing, I’m very character-focused, so my main concern is keeping everybody as in-character and “realistic” as possible, since I usually already have an outline with all the plot/emotional beats in place (written or up in my head). But pacing does come up at times even when I have most of the story planned, and I think the biggest indicator of a pacing issue is when you get stuck while writing.

Getting stuck isn’t always about that narrative flow — there are hundreds of reasons why I get writer’s block — but I have found that sometimes it’s because I’m writing something that’s disrupting the flow. Sometimes it’s a dialogue scene that runs too long, and characters are saying/explaining things that I could just show or summarize in a descriptive paragraph. Sometimes it’s a scene that’s totally redundant, period, and I scrap it entirely.

In other words, skipping ahead and getting to the meat is totally valid on occasion ;D

As for the space cowboys … *throws hands in the air* … Here’s a look as to how that mess got organized into a semi-coherent flow of words — massive, likely incoherent ramble under the cut!

First off: a one-story example — The Six-Gun Sound.

That story has the most basic pacing ever. Action scene at the start, exposition/dialogue scene right after that sets up the main plot/motive for the characters, followed by a steady build that goes right into that heist. The heist then slowly builds until BAM. Everything goes wrong, there are literal explosions, and then a climax of both the main plot-line and the emotional plot-line. (There is pacing set for both of those when I plan, usually. The plot informs the emotional beats and vice versa, depending on which is more important at any given time.)

In shorter words: action, calm, build-up to more action, big action, calm, and then the resolution. That kind of “ebb and flow” is basically how most stories work, I believe. If you have that going on in your tales, then I think you’re golden :D

I totally break those rules in many of my other tales, but, yeah. There it is ;)

Now, secondly: the entire Trouble’s Making Everything All Right series.

That is just … well, a giant mess, but it’s one that I find works for me? I might be confusing pacing with other parts of narrative structure, but overall, there’s a certain ebb and flow that leads to the first huge climax (which I believe is Short Change Heroes). Um, I’m going to try and explain and hope that it helps you?

Trouble Coming is essentially my expositional story (though I initially had no idea how long this series would go). If, for example, in your own writing you feel like “skipping” all that establishing information, well, I’m gonna be horrible and give you that old cliché — show and don’t tell (much).

I still had to explain some stuff in that story, but having no Team Voltron, having Lance and Keith sitting around that poker table, cheating at cards (Keith), and flirting as a distraction (Lance), while being tough as nails, pretty much establishes that something not good has happened. Especially as Keith worries about making ends meet.

Following that, the attack afterwards, which they treat as business as usual, barely blinking at the deaths they cause … Again, I don’t think I needed to tell you guys that they had been through some bad stuff. And they were continuing to go through some bad stuff. I don’t actually explain much until more than halfway through the story, when they’re back at the inn and there’s a moment of calm. (Again, I’m not great at pacing, but I tried to put a bit of ebb and flow in this series as a whole.) (Action at the beginning, sort of, and then calm.)

Six Gun Sound is pretty much all action, and it retroactively explains partially how Lance and Keith came to be the way they are (and how they got together ;D), and since you’ve already seen how jaded and broken they are in Trouble Coming, I like to think it makes for a sharper, harsher contrast to see them more … good just as they cross that line into becoming The Two McClains. (Lots of action/emotional conflict.)

Following that action-filled, emotional story, we’ve got Broken Bone World, which jumps forward to the more jaded Lance and Keith, but this time, we get to see them relax and perfectly in love with each other — and generally more settled in their new mercenary existence. (More calm.)

And then, Shuffling Madness, back in the past, is lots of action, lots of suffering — I hoped that seeing them as Paladins after three stories as space cowboys would be quite impactful in hindsight? Basically, seeing them being so optimistic about their chances makes you wince on their behalf because you, as the reader, already know how they end up. (Plenty of action/emotional turmoil.)

This is the point where the series is actually building towards the main climax. I had hinted at Keegin Dras going all the way back to the first story. But Paradise City is where the tension, um, kicks up, I guess (some of y’all may remember that cliffhanger? Er, sorry?) (Build-up to lots of action with a sudden stop and cliffhanger.)

I really like contrast, so this is my own personal opinion/writing style, but, um, yeah, there you go.

Edit: Damn, I totally forgot to mention Heaven Above You, which was probably one of my favourites to write — it prolongs the tension between Paradise City and Short Change Heroes, but also, while it isn’t too heavy on the action, I think of it is as still tension building because it shows that defining moment when Lance chose to take a life that wasn’t a direct threat to him. It’s an almost purely expositional story, but it sets up the emotional conflict of Short Change Heroes, while Paradise City sets up the main plot conflict?(Bit of action, mostly calm, but lots of emotional turmoil.)

Short Change Heroes is a damn disaster, but it’s a disaster I kinda really loved writing. There are just so many conversations. It really shouldn’t have had that many dialogue scenes. Holy crap, that war council is a story in and of itself, and I am definitely not Tolkien, holy crap, no.

But, um, here’s where I contradict myself and say — I didn’t care about pacing, I just wanted to get these people (Team Voltron + The Two McClains) actually talking because communication rocks, and they absolutely would’ve wanted to talk a ton after a year apart.

I did try and chop up some of the dialogue/exposition with a few action-type scenes (the interrogation scene, then that gang ambush, and that brief attack during the war council), but those scenes were also key to the plot-line and the emotional stuff. I was focused on pacing when I chose where to place those scenes, so that things would feel balanced and move forward smoothly.

So, if in your own writing, you feel like you want to skip ahead, but you also feel like whatever information you need to impart (or interaction these characters need to have) is important to the plot/pacing (e.g. you need a quiet moment before battle or you need to show off an action scene before you can get to that juicy emotional resolution), find a way to make it fun for you to tell! I am a sucker for gritty honesty or sappy confessions or no-holds-barred arguing, so that’s how I handle some exposition. I love creating angsty situations instead of just explaining that someone’s had a bad time.

Basically, in summation: I try to keep action and moments of stillness somewhat balanced.

— A huge burst of action demands a longer moment of quiet/reflection, or a longer emotional conversation and/or resolution afterwards.

— A massive emotional fight/discussion demands that the characters either have time apart or some kind of quiet/temporary peace after (even if the fight isn’t resolved right away or the discussion hasn’t unloaded everything in their heads).

This is my preferred rhythm to story-telling, both on small (one story) or large (series) scales. This way a story doesn’t feel too stilted, or overly long (too many quiet moments?), or like it isn’t letting up/allowing the reader to settle (too many action moments?) — an even rhythm/flow carries the reader along easily (hopefully).

I break these rules of mine often, but this is a general rant ;D

I really, really hope this has helped you, that this hasn’t bored you to death, and that I haven’t been totally nonsensical. I am honestly not even sure I answered this question at this point — it kinda just turned into a freakishly long ramble. *sweats* Sorry!

You are very kind to ask, and I am so grateful to you! Best of luck with the writing, dear! *all the hugs*

#voltron #the two mcclains #space cowboys #on writing #rants and ramblings #answering the kind folks who ask stuff :)#jilliancares

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