#this painting has made me scream ...several times

[cowyolks]

YOUR GRACE,

PART ONE OF THE KING AU (Part Two Here)

Pairing: King! König x Female Reader

Prompt: As a loyal soldier to your King, you follow orders without question. So when the King asks you to kneel— you do as told.

Words: 3k

Warnings: The dirtiest thing I’ve ever wrote— voyeurism, public sex, dacryphilia, oral (m & f receiving), fingering, cum eating, p in v sex, creampie, unprotected sex, biting.

A/n: König literally means king in German, so we shall play this to our advantage. I’ll be in the corner where I belong if you need me.

MINORS DNI

It was simply disgusting outside. Mud had caked upon your boots, and the blood of your enemies you viciously killed still painted your armor. You looked every bit as wild on the battlefront as you did after victory.

Your breath frosted in the air, a shiver overtaking. You looked forward to taking a warm bath heated by the fire you had already started back in your tent.

That was before you were interrupted by one of the King’s servants, his face reddened upon glancing at your bare breasts, your armor long stripped. Luckily you hadn’t slid out of your trousers, but it was simple to say you were irritated.

You hastily pulled your furs back over your upper half, grumbling at the feeling of clothing upon your back and not hot water.

You shouldn’t have let frustration get the best of you, yet as you marched towards the other side of camp, everything managed to piss you off. Screaming soldiers fighting for rations, horses nickering too loudly, and men that couldn’t help but stare.

“You got a fucking staring problem?” You snarled at a particularly small soldier, who gulped in alarm when he caught the vicious glare you sent him.

A little chuckle broke out from behind you, and your heart leapt out of your throat when you realized it was your King.

His massive form was always a sight to see, except this time he looked even more terrifying. He seemed taller in his armor of glowing silver. Unlike most Kings, he fought amongst his men, so instead of untouched metal, his breastplate was splattered in red and mud. Even his signature hood he wore in battle was smeared with drying blood.

His arm was flexed upwards, holding up the cloth door of the council’s tent. Several men were already inside, all councilors of the senate, none that fought in the battle. You curled your lip.

“Play nice, Maus…” he purred, ushering you inside. You had to admit that the warmth of a fire felt nice against your face, the small shiver of your back disappearing.

“Right…” Your king sat upon his makeshift throne of forged steel, large enough to fit his massive form and have plenty of room to spread his legs wide before him. You sat next to him, and if it wasn’t for the bluntly obvious General’s cloak you wore, it could almost be assumed you were in a Queen’s throne. You sat close together, as you always did in briefings.

It wasn’t hard to guess the affairs the King had with you. Often times the guards would catch you sneaking out of his quarters, your sloppy gait and wrinkled dress being enough evidence to guess the steaming affair. He found joy in the hunt, something he made very clear when his face was pressed to your weeping cunt as his hand muffled your screams of pleasure.

“Are you listening, Girl?” A senator broke you away from your inner turmoil, your sour mood coming back in full force.

“I apologize, sir, but I think you meant General. Not Girl.” Your bite didn’t go unnoticed by the other senators, they shifted uncomfortably in their seats. König let out a little sigh of amusement.

“At ease… we are just starting. She has not missed anything important.” König diffused the situation, and you fell back into your chair with a huff. You’d rather be anywhere than speaking politics with these slimy pricks. You were a warrior, not a peacemaker.

“What is not important is a woman among our ranks. Let alone one that simply serves purpose to warm your bed.” The senator seethed, and you merely smirked at his comment. König would not tolerate this insolence, it would be fun to watch this play out.

Panicked whispers broke out amongst the senators as König stood. His height was scary in its own, but as he towered in a silent anger, he looked even more menacing. His steps were calculated, stalking towards the conquered sand table right in front of the unruly senator.

“You’re so tense.” König joked as his palms fell upon the little man’s shoulders, like claps of dark thunder. Your eyes twinkled as he clamped down.

“I apologize, sire.” The senator squeaked, although the bitter laugh that escaped the giant’s throat made him even more pale. “I shouldn’t be the one you apologize to, but I doubt whatever you come up with would be sincere.”

“I can apologize to the General…” he squirmed, the situation already making you revel in joy, but when your King bent his knee you grew more satisfied, your mouth watering.

“I won’t hurt you… tell me something, senator?” König’s voice cut across the tent, eerie silence replacing his growl.

“Anything.”

“Have you ever felt a pretty woman’s mouth against your cock?”

It was silent, you felt your own heart rate pick up at the question. The silence was enough of an answer, König laughed, deep and threatening. He crouched lower, his eyes level with the senator, his hood still terribly covered in blood. He reached down, pulling a singular dagger from his boot, before placing it against the base of the quivering man’s throat.

“I’m pretty big, she chokes on it most times, but occasionally…” König tilted the dagger down, against the hollow of the man’s throat. “I’ll open her up just right, and her pretty, tight, throat can take all of me to here.” He tapped the flesh, a wicked glint in his eyes as he stood straight again.

“Everyone out! Except you…” His blade stayed planted against the senator’s throat. His eyes happily watching as the council scrambled out of the tent.

“Don’t go far… I plan to have a meeting after I take care of this issue,” he yelled as they left. He sheathed his dagger, a soft pat was placed on the senator’s shoulders.

König stalked back to his throne, his eyes uncharacteristically soft as they met your own steeling ones.

“Come here, darling.” He purred again, you imagined the plunge in your gut was a lot different than the one the senator had felt. You rose from your chair, casting a quiet glance at the senator before stopping a few inches in front of the King.

You knelt respectfully, a gesture that made König’s eyes flash as he glanced down on you through his hood.

You could practically see his teasing smirk through the dirty canvas.

He reached out, his palm resting upon your cheek, then lower to the warm skin of your neck. His touch was like glowing embers, always the one to set you on fire.

“You see this? So very loyal to the King, something I wish for my councilmen as well.” His eyes burnt holes into the senator, a wicked swirling of pleasure beneath his commanding eyes. His palm rubbed smoothing circles against your skin, keeping you grounded and focused on his massive form. You hummed at his compliment, allowing a chuckle to escape the King’s throat.

“She likes to be praised and she treats me so well. Say something nice about her, senator.” König demanded from his throne, his legs still spilled wide as he pulled you gently between them, slotting your kneeling form against the tight muscles of his inner thighs.

“She fights well.” He squeaked like a timid mouse, König tutted, obviously unhappy with the response.

“No, no. About her appearance, like how sweet her cunt tastes, or how pretty she looks kneeling.” His words made you clench around nothing, but you didn’t dare move from your position, your eyes still locked and wavering at his hood.

“She has pretty eyes…” he mumbled, barely loud enough for König to hear. He laughed slightly, a gruff chirp that shook his wide chest.

“Such a pathetic compliment, it’s a wonder why you’ve never got your cock wet, hmm?”

The senator whined, obviously uncomfortable with the whole situation, but you didn’t pay much mind, your stare falling to your King’s open thighs, where his cock lay tight against his pants.

König chuckled again, the sound musical as he petted upon your hair. “Those pretty eyes are staring at my cock like she’ll go hungry. I feed her well, keep her satisfied and by my side.” His hand patted upon the crown of your head repeatedly—a waiting game.

“But you won’t get to look at her pretty eyes.” König reached to his face, pulling upon his battle-worn hood, he dropped it to the ground with a dull thud.

He was ethereal in a way, simply like a God you had bent your knee for. His messy hair a color of the sun when it set— a dull warm orange. His nose was long and crooked, likely from breaking the cartilage in battle. His face was angled and stern, as if he was a spring ready to snap. His pupils were blown, you couldn’t tell if it was from anger or lust.

He fumbled with his belt, pulling upon the leather material until it hung loosely upon his waist. Finally, he leant back against the chair, his eyes finding the senator’s in disgusting pleasure.

“You know what to do, Maus.”

It was all you needed as a sign to reach your nimble fingers beneath his waistband, pulling down upon his trousers until his half-hard cock displayed in front of your face. You felt no shame as you clutched upon his massive shaft, your fingers barely wrapping around the sheer girth of him.

“Don’t look away, senator… I’ll spoon out your eyes if you do.” He rumbled, just as you pumped him once.

König was definitely putting on a show, releasing a deep sigh that came from his stomach. You knew then that he wouldn’t go quietly, your King was going to be loud, and no one would dare stop him.

“She’s good with her fingers, but near euphoric with her tongue.” He glanced down to you, cradling your jaw before lowering you down to his weeping head, a soft bead of precum leaking from him.

“Come now, darling… you’re being shy.”

With a amused huff you parted your lips, running your tongue down the shaft of his cock, nearly smiling as König hissed. That was real, not just a loud and absurd noise of punishment for the senator.

His hips pushed against your mouth, impatiently rutting his cock deeper down your throat, barely giving you enough time to open wide enough that your teeth wouldn’t scrape against his warm skin.

He pressed against the back of your throat, despite his battle worn body, he’d always tasted of bittersweet cherry wine, maybe it was because he drank so much of it. Always a goblet in his hand when you’d be in his quarters, a book slotted in his other hand. He’d often enjoy a glass while you sat on his lap, doing his best to read you the passage as you warmed his cock.

He jerked up again at your dazed expression, the fleshy walls of your throat gagged around his throbbing head, not being able to take the stretch.

“Shhhh… you hear that senator? Hear her struggle on my cock?” His massive paw wrapped around your head, pulling you back slightly, letting you catch your breath.

“Say she’s beautiful. Say she’s the most gorgeous woman in the whole kingdom. I want you to look at her when I cum down her throat, so every time you stroke yourself with that pathetic hand, you’ll think of my cock…” he brought you down upon him again, except this time you were ready.

“Fuck…”

Your nose hit the soft edge of his pelvis, tears welling in your eyes as he stretched your jaw to an extreme he hasn’t ever reached before.

“She’s beautiful…” the senator quietly squirmed as König’s fiery stare glared back at him. “And she’s all mine, the only woman that warms my bed.” With a final thrust, and your ears ringing at the praise, you tightened just enough for him to spill his seed against the back of your throat.

Your King’s soft whine of pleasure the only thing that propelled you to swallow every last drop of him, despite how much it truly was.

“What a good girl, she swallowed all of me. Not like some common whore you’d have to pay for, hmm?” His fingertip traced under your lip, gathering up your sticky saliva and a drop of him you missed. He fed it to you in a satisfied stupor, obviously his orgasm had fatigued him. Yet, his eyes still swirled with lust, you knew this was far from over.

“Leave, senator. If I hear you even breathed a slight word about my General again, I’ll cut your tongue out and feed it to the dogs.”

The senator sighed in relief, eyes lowered to the ground as he hastily bowed, leaving the tent in such an embarrassed state you hardly noticed as König hauled you to your feet before settling you against his knee, his eyes playful as he regarded you.

“I think my most prized subject deserves an award, no?”

You pretend to think about it, your mind airy from all of the praise you’ve just received. With a sure hand you reached out, connecting with his jaw. Auburn stubble had begun to sprout amongst his cheeks, showcasing the time spent fighting amongst camp instead of his warm keep.

“There will be others, a lot more distasteful than him.” You warned. König sighed, paws squeezing upon the soft furs bunched on your waist.

“Let them talk. Let them listen…”

His hand wrapped upon the back of your neck, pulling you into his chest until you were tight and straddled against his waist, the cold armrests of his throne digging into your legs.

He wasted no time in kissing your swollen lips, reveling in pleasure as he tasted himself upon your tongue.

He was hot and warm, a summer day in the contrast of the icy battle that had raged earlier. It made you yearn to be under his furs in his bed back home, tucked into his side like some precious jewel. Shivers erupted down your back when he nudged his nose against your chin, allowing him space to sink his teeth lightly in the flesh of your collarbone. You ground down against his bare cock, he grunted at the friction.

You gasped when his hands squeezed underneath the soft parts of your thighs. Effortlessly, your King pulled you up in his arms, never breaking away from your neck as he sucked against the flesh. Still, he knew exactly where he was going, because in a few steps he had you laying flat against the sand table, pieces of wooden carved castles and crests scattering across the surface.

“You looked so pretty sucking my cock, Maus. Never wanted to fuck you more, fill you until you cried,” you gasped, and in one fluid motion König had your trousers down and thrown on the dirty ground. Your bottom half exposed to the nipping cold.

“Never done anything like that with someone looking…” you mumbled, not that you felt self-conscious, but the fact that König would display to the world that you were his.

“Think I’m embarrassed of you?” He teased, before falling to the dirt just as you had previously done. You clenched, watching as the man you served would now serve you.

“Of course not.” You aired out, tilting your chin down to glance at his eyes, rounded in dark sultry glow.

“Good. Because they’re going to hear you, and they’ll know just how good I make you feel,” he growled, before snatching your hips, pulling them against his awaiting lips. He licked a long stripe up your cunt, making you release a humiliating moan from the warmth of him.

He set to work immediately, his fingers digging into the soft flesh of your hips, just as he sucked down hard upon your clit. You jerked, slamming your eyes shut while whining unapologetically when he crushed your pelvis back down against the cold table.

“Sit still, Maus…” he pulled away a moment, slick glistening to his lips as he licked them greedily. He hummed, “you taste divine, you want me to continue?”

“Yes, Your Grace…” you mumbled in a drunk euphoria, barely hearing his growl as heaved your legs upon his shoulders and dipped lower, licking and suckling upon you again. Enough that you were seeing stars, vision nearly black as he added a thick digit against your clenching walls.

It squelched against the tightening flesh, causing a deep moan to flex from your throat, and a hum of approval to fall from König’s lips, the vibration sending you over your edge. He added another finger, wallowing in pleasure as he stretched you.

He sucked in a deep breath of air, “that’s it darling, cum around my fingers, I want to taste it.” You tightened around him, seeing black as you felt yourself unravel, pure bliss falling from your lips as he lapped up everything you gave. He kissed the inside of your thighs, the touch like fire, burning and burning until you were nothing left but ashes.

He slipped his fingers away, the loss of contact making you whine pathetically. Oh, how easy it was to fall into the spell of him.

He laughed, a joyous sound, if it wasn’t for your quivering form. You needed more than just his fingers, and judging by the twinkle in his stormy eyes, he knew it too. He stood tall, his shadow falling over you like a blanket.

“What’s wrong, Maus?” He quipped, sharp canines glowing against the roaring fire in the distance. He knew exactly just how much this was getting to you. How his own fingers were shaking with primal desire, how he needed to plant into you and seek delicate shelter.

Your legs instinctively spread wider, allowing his hips to slot between them. With a slow hiss he stroked himself, your own eyes growing wide at the sheer girth of him, fully hard and wanting. He was always one to split you in two, a precious stretch just for him.

He taunted, gliding back and forth against your slick, up and down, again…again. Just as you were about to tearfully beg he breached your hole, a grunt leaving his lips before his head fell back in desperation.

“Fuck darling… so tight.” He pushed in slightly, half of him clamped and yielding to you. The burn was delicious, just as his hands were when they found purchase of your clothed breasts. He kneaded, just as he pulled out slightly again.

A sharp cry echoed the tent as he pushed back in— a wicked snap of his hips that made you moan. He rutted deep, one hand pressing into the table near your head, his eyes locked on your furrowed features.

“Eyes open, Maus.” He commanded, and you did as you were told, eager to please the King. Your teary eyes flooded with a jerky thrust, the tip of his head hitting your womb. It was pure instinct to wrap your legs around him, allowing him a deeper angle to ravage.

He was every bit a King. His size, his intelligence, his cock. It all dulled in comparison to any other man or woman. A true man of unwavering power.

“You hear her crying on my cock?” He yelled out into the tent, releasing a growl of his own as his cock began to twitch your gummy walls.

Whispers erupted from outside of the tent, some of the senators even commenting on how they did hear, just to please the King’s ego. It only made you moan louder, as his hips snapped even faster at their whispers.

Your hands found purchase around his cloak of woven velvet, roughly pulling at the material until you reached the warm skin of his shoulder blades, the high nearly reaching you as you rose upwards, your nails tearing into his flesh.

The only wound he’d received from his conquest.

“That’s it. Cum on your King’s cock,” he growled, losing himself just seconds after you began to clench, seeing stars in the most delightful way.

You were never one to disobey his orders.

He was never one to deny you pleasure.

With a cry, your walls closed around him, just as he pulled you tight against him, his thrusts sloppy as he rode you off your orgasm. Only seconds later did he pull you into a bruising kiss, your own mouth swallowing his moan as he spilled warm seed inside you, coating your walls in a way of pure unadulterated bliss.

He kissed you, long and slow, not daring to break your connection until he wiped your tears built from shared pleasure.

He was simple nirvana in the form of a man.

You silently whined when he pulled back, his little hiss of relief only making your eyes grow wider in admiration. He knelt again, his stare falling between your legs to your battered cunt, completely and utterly full of him.

He chuckled, reveling in ecstasy at your spent state, and all you could do was stare. With a curious finger, he pushed his seed back into your womb, a glint in his eyes as you moaned out to him at the breach.

“Love to see you full, darling. Maybe the seed will take, hmm?” His words jarred you, so crude yet delicious at the same time. Just as he was.

“They’d be bastards.” You couldn’t help but slur, eyes finding your ripped trousers in the mud.

König’s eyes twinkled as he did up his belt again, an amused look on his face as he tossed you his cloak. It would be enough to get you back to your warm bath. Forget the fuckin’ council.

The giant’s swollen lips quirked upwards, his steps sure as he reached against the table, pulling a long piece of parchment from a draw. With an outstretched hand, he gave it out to you.

You read it over, again and again. Eyes widening more each time you reread. In shock you stood, attempting to ignore the shake in your legs from excitement and from earlier pleasures.

A declaration.

“Marriages are sacred in Royalty. You know that. But being a King also makes you a conquerer, conquering means new land. Land means area to rule. I can make whoever I want royalty on said land,” He rumbled, his chest pressed to your back, just as he pushed back your hair, placing a searing kiss upon your neck.

“How would it feel to be a Queen? My Queen.”

Tags: @mykneeshurt @soapyghost @fante-di-denari

#fuck I don’t know how to end smut #cod #call of duty #call of duty modern warfare #modern warfare #König #konig #könig x reader #könig smut #konig x reader

[libbyfandom]

Heartbeat

(((This one got kind of, I don't know how to describe it other than I made my own heart sink. Yikes.)))

Possible Triggers: To cover it, there's one explicit sentence about SA. And Mizu has a breakdown.

“My son told me he spotted that Onryō that was seen outside the village.” You hear an older man’s voice a couple tables away as he sits down.

A second one answers, “The guards said he had a woman with him.”

The first man speaks quieter, in a hardened voice. “Truly?”

“Yes. The poor thing was following so close to it. Do your u think she’s controlled by it?”

You take a sip of your tea slowly, staring out the window as the last of the sun’s rays pull away from the street outside.

“But Onryō don’t enslave people, only torment or kill them, don’t they?”

“Maybe this one desired the girl for worse things.”

There’s an eerie lull in the two men’s conversation, imagining the horror of a demon growing in strength and lust for evil.

Your eyebrows furrow, and you stop the condescending sigh that’s rising in your chest.

“How would it even do that?”

Out of the corner of your eye you see the second man lean closer to his companion. “Maybe he ate her heart.”

Your fingers tighten on your cup, your mouth forming a thin line from how your body is slowly tensing up in anger.

“Think about it,” he continued, painting the scene. “The heart chakra is the center of compassion, empathy, forgiveness. An Onryō?” He chuckles darkly, shaking his head. “It’d tear it right from her chest and swallow it into his empty stomach. Instantly she’s tied to it forever, forced to follow the monster that has her heart and suffer it’s desires.”

You take a shaky breath through your nose, setting your cup down. Your stomach is tensing from the urge to find the nearest teapot and just upend the burning liquid over their heads with a impassive face as they scream and burn.

You’re about to stand up when a hand, slender but rough, wraps around your shoulder. A kasa blocks your side view of the men. A familiar pair of lips find their way to the spot behind your ear. “I’m done. Let’s get back to the room,” they murmur.

You try to tilt your head around her large hat to set your hardened eyes on the men again. You estimate if you could successfully make it over there before she grabs you.

“Don’t.”

You turn and look into blue eyes hidden by orange lenses.

“I’ve heard worse,” she utters plainly, glancing outside to see a passing guard. Her hand goes to the hilt of her sword.

The ends of her fingers trail down from your shoulder to press over your heart, feeling it beat under her touch.

A murmur. “Let’s go. Now.”

She guides you with a hand on the small of your back through the tables. You turn and stare with barely contained disgust at the men as you pass by, and it infuriates you when they don’t even notice.

Only a handful of steps away from them the first one blows out a deep breath. A low laugh. “Maybe if we follow the screams of a woman being savagely raped by a monster in the night we can kill it.”

Mizu’s steps slow to a stop.

Your lungs forget how to breathe.

Her hand wraps around your waist with the lightest touch.

The tearoom is so quiet. Your head slowly turns and see that the men are the last ones in there.

“Go back to the room,” her voice is so calm you feel an icy flush dart from your ears, down your neck and rapidly crawl over your spine. It’s that instinctual alarm when a dangerous being is near.

And now, after you felt your own moment of quivering anger, you’re forced to remember what true rage matured by decades of time looks like.

“Mi-“

Her grip tightens to a painful point, and you wince. “Now.”

Her thumb flicks the first several inches of her sword out of the sheath, the metal reflecting the red glow of candlelight.

Her eyes are staring straight ahead, but you know where her attention is now.

When you hesitate too long, she shoves you toward the door. You stumble, your head turning back to glance at the oblivious men. So unaware.

When you stare back at Mizu, her face is impassive. The candlelight in the tea house lights up the orange of her lenses, obscuring your ability to see her eyes anymore.

It’s just flames.

You’ve been pacing your room since you got back. The sky outside has lost the last traces of light.

The last time Mizu’s face was that eerily blank was months ago out in the woods. Ringo was off gathering herbs for dinner when Mizu sat beside you in front of the fire. She hadn’t said a word to either of you for hours.

Her hand had gone to your knee. “You asked me about my mother once,” she had started.

You hesitated, catching on to the weight of this impending conversation. “Yes.”

And then it all came out. She didn’t look at you once, staring into the fire the entire time. You don’t recall her even blinking as she laid everything out bare for you. Her hand clenched tighter and tighter on your knee as she spoke, her arm quivering.

There was only a few seconds between when she finished and Ringo appearing in the tree line again, shouting happily about what he found. You didn’t get a chance to say anything, her hand leaving your knee cold as she quickly retreated to the other side of camp without a word.

Your eyebrows furrow as you silently chew at your nail, your other arm wrapped around your middle.

‘Maybe I should go find Ringo.’

The two of you should go back and look for Mizu. It’s been too long.

You take several hurried steps toward the door when you hear the window slide open behind you, and the chill of the wind rushes in.

You turn, watching Mizu’s blood soaked body climb through the small window. Her sheath makes a muffled thump as she throws it into the room so she can heave herself in.

The blood soaked sheath leaves a short streak of red along the floor from where it slid to a stop.

Mizu’s feet settle on the ground, and she leans back against the open window with a neutral expression. It’s not like the one before, this one is her natural resting expression that isn’t devoid of life. A relief.

Her indifferent expression is normal. The blood soaking into her clothes is normal. The blood splattered across her face is normal.

Her red rimmed eyes are not normal.

She tilts her chin up at you and quirks an eyebrow as your gaze meets.

As if to say, ‘What?’

Mizu…

You silently walk closer, and you see how she leans back against the window as you do. Her bloodied hands clench around the windowsill.

Her eyes harden as you get closer, her jaw clenching. Warning.

But your eyes remain soft, open, unguarded. You reach out and cup the sides of her torso. Unafraid.

Your hands slowly smooth down her sides to her waist and back up. Back down. Again and again. Around her back where you’ve memorized each scar.

She silently, desperately tries to grasp for the last of her stoicism. But her grinding teeth begin to chatter, chest hitching with broken breathes. Her knuckles turn white with how hard she’s gripping the windowsill behind her.

You pry one hand off the window, and it takes several pulls on her wrist before she lets go.

Without breaking eye contact, you stare into her eyes as your hand guides hers to press against your heart. You fold your arms over hers, hugging her arm to your chest as your hand presses down on hers until she feels your heartbeat under her palm.

Constant and unwavering.

A singular, strangled sob tears from her tight throat and she’s crumpling. Tears burn down her cheeks as her form doubles over with the force of her soul finally finding the weak point to break the dam.

It’s you, it’s you, it’s always you and your love for her isn’t it?

Your hand still holds hers tight to your heart as you follow her shaking frame sinking to the floor.

Blood is soaking into your clothes at every point she touches you.

Her head is hanging down between her shoulders, heaving in air more and more and more until she unclenches her jaw and release an ear splitting scream so loud your own teeth clamp shut.

All you can do is hold her until the screaming stops.

When her muscles finally unclench, and her breathing is only a little ragged, you guide her down to lay on her back with her head on your lap.

She blinks up at you, exhaustion lining her wet face. It’s quiet again, so now you’re able to hear how your breathing is in sync.

Her hand, now cracking with dried blood, reaches up and curls around your wrist. Staring intently into your eyes, she guides it under her haori to her own heartbeat.

Blinking away your own tears, you lean over and press your lips to hers.

She closes her eyes as the weight of your hand settles there, and stays.

#mizu x reader #blue eye samurai x reader #mizu #mizu blue eye samurai #blueeyesamurai

[graves-simper]

What really happened in Room 302?

Yes, just like everyone else I am finally doing a small essay/analysis on TCOAAL.

This time I wanted to dive in something that wasn't a big part of the game, but has been on my mind since my first play through of the game and that is like the title states; What really happened in Room 302? Lets begin.

I wanted to start off by talking about the Lady in Room 302. Who is she?

We really don't know much. Her eye color isn't shown, she looks somewhat average but in terms of others opinions (ie; the Warden's and even Ashley) She is a very pretty woman. Even at a point Andrew says that she looks good. Take a look at some of the dialog below:

I mean, wasn't she?

After this very tasteful conversation these two love-birds have, Ashley heads up to commence the ritual to sacrifice the 2nd Warden, and of course Our Ashley pulls it off with no problems, and back downstairs she goes with full intentions of painting the wall with Lady 302's brains, but it appears someone beat her to the punch.

AND NOW I PRESENT WHERE I IMMEDIATELY BEGAN TO CALL CAP ON MR. DOORMAT EXTRAORDINAIRE AND HIS SILLY LITTLE LIES.

Your honor, this man is absolutely lying. The first thing that made me question everything about his story here is where she is lying dead. On the damn bed. Your honor, let's enhance this real quick.

That nail gun is a damn good several feet away from where Lady 302 lies dead on the bed. In fact it is in exactly the same position as when we left Andrew alone with her, and look at the sheer distance. These apartments clearly aren't huge but let me just be critical for a minute. Her mattress appears to be a single style mattress, so lets take in some measurements.

I can settle on the length being 75" or 6.25ft. So the apartment is about 12 feet wide. Not huge by any means, but to go from sitting down on a bed, even the edge, she would have to make quite the lunge while accounting for some random maniac being right next to you with a meat cleaver. I also do not think she would be the type to risk her life for a daring escape. Look at how absolutely bewildered she is the second Andrew rushes her.

That is NOT the face of someone who is absolutely down to fuck around and find out. She also had a chance to get help while also risking her life, when she is given the radio she could have screamed for help, and while yes she would've died, at this point I would say the risk factor was relatively similar.

Now that I have established my reasoning for why I don't think this lady tried to kill Andrew with a nailgun or even had the chance to, let's go over some of the reasons I think he DID choose to kill her.

No Witnesses.

This is a very boring theory but I have to bring it up no less. I think there is a good chance he just said fuck it, and killed her for the sake of not leaving evidence behind. She saw their faces, heard their names, and they even said they were her neighbor from upstairs. Leaving her behind could've ruined EVERYTHING for them after this point, and based on Ashley's sour reaction to her mere existence, I think he already knew damn well Ashley would want her dead too.

Make my Ashley happy.

This ties back to the point I made in No Witnesses. Ashley took her as a threat, and obviously Andrew noticed. She was not pleased after he called her "Pretty". I think once he was alone, he figured he would off her to show Ashley that he wasn't ogling her or wanting to do anything with her. In fact she meant so little to him, he butchered her right on her bed. To support this, the way Ashley reacts when she returns absolutely floors Andrew, he is calm about what happened but Ashley is still coming up with thoughts that he tried to fuck her, when in his mind, he was probably hoping she would be thrilled that he killed this awful, hell-bound, hussie. But instead she is still somehow mad despite her being now a corpse. He becomes to fed up that even though he did what she would've anyways, it is somehow not good enough for her. (I will dive deeper into this interaction below with another theory that relies heavily on this.)

The Hussie hit on him.

This one ties into Make my Ashley happy. There is a good chance this obviously sexually attractive woman tried seducing Andrew while they were alone. She had no problem doing it with the Warden's to get better treatment, and I have no doubt this was her go-to get out of trouble free card. This charming young man would surely fall for her good looks right? Right? There's two thought processes that would make this reasonable. 1. He was worried how Ashley would react if she walked in with her clearly flirting with him and how that would make her feel. 2. My personal favorite of these two, he is dedicated to Ashley and was offended by her advances and killed her in a show of devotion to her.

Now that we have the more sane theories out of the way, lets get to the GOOD STUFF.

Andrew's Fantasy.

This theory is more of a mental guess as to Andrew's relationship and views of Ashley. He has been clearly fed up with her more than once up to this point, having arguments, dealing with her shit, and all the trauma he just experienced from starving for weeks, isolation, and having to butcher and eat someone, and then murder a man to save her.

What if once Andrew had a moment alone with someone who was essentially his victim, he decided to truly see how he felt about something. I believe Andrew may have not seen Lady 302 as Ashley, but just for the hell of it, imagined that she was Ashley. Despite the different appearances, I'm sure he could overlook it in the state of mind he was in at this point, and decided how it would feel to finally kill "Ashley". The way he kills her just doesn't feel like he said fuck it and wanted the lady dead, she is laid out on the bed, there's no signs of a struggle either. Later in the game during one of the visions, there is the one where Andrew finally kills Ashley. When she accepts that he will kill her, he brings the cleaver to her throat similarly to how the throat of Lady 302 was cut. The similarities just feel so similar that I had to bring this up despite it being possibly far fetched but that's what makes these fun!

and now for my most absolutely far fetched theory yet.

Don't these two look similar?

This theory is much more far fetched but hear me out on this!

I know this may be a result of Nemlei's artstyle but these two have some stark similarities in my opinion. Both blonde, same eye color based on the greyscale of them, similar hair parting, and a similar face shape.

After all the trauma Andrew went through in the weeks locked in their apartment and then killing several people and eating one no doubt sent his brain to a bad place.

I think after all that hell he endured he may have simply had a breaking point and felt like he saw a ghost or just the stark similarities between Lady 302 and Nina just made something snap.

I want to back this up by making a point to the story telling in the game. Before they go and escape their apartment conveniently before the Room 302 incident, there is a dream about how Andrew and Ashley killed Nina. This could be just the flow of the story telling however, I feel like it was a lead up to what really happened in Room 302. It just feels too perfect to include that scene right before he kills someone who I am assuming is what Nina may have grown up to look like, AND then with this scene occurring once Ashley returns almost feels like a nail in the coffin of this theory.

Nina isn't brought up in the apartment, or once they're in the motel. Nina is brought up during a heated exchange in Room 302 right after Andrew might have felt as if he killed Nina once again, yet just like when they killed Nina, Ashley still somehow thinks that Andrew has a thing for a woman he helped kill, and this absolutely drives him off his fucking rocker.

This exchange floored Mr. Doormat so intensely he finally was ready to absolutely throttle the life out of her. Andrew was finally so fed up with being berated for doing things for Ashley's sake he just wanted it to be done and over with forever. Andrew once again found himself in the same place Ashley put him in all those years ago, but this time he knows he isn't as vulnerable as he was and uses it to his advantage, but after their little squabble, they leave together to bless our hearts with Chapter 2.

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Perhaps this was as plain as the story made it out to be. There is a good chance that Andrew didn't want to leave a witness and said hell with it and butchered the woman in Room 302. But I'd like to believe that with all the hidden details Nemlei has scattered throughout this game that there is truth to one of these theories, hell maybe even a giant jumble of them all together is the true story of Room 302.

But with everything I presented today I hope you all perhaps are too questioning what really happened in Room 302 like I was.

I'd love to hear any theories you guys have regarding this or twists/opinions on the ones I presented here!

Thank you all for reading!

#andrew graves #ashley graves #gravecest #tcoaal #the coffin of andy and leyley #andrew x ashley #ashley x andrew #leyley graves #tcoal #andy and leyley

[miquella-everywhere]

Miquella and Griffith: Why the comparisons make no damn sense

So instead of me screaming to the sky, "Waah Miquella is Griffith theories make me so mad grrrr I hate them so much" I've decided that I'm going to do an analysis between the two characters and dissect why the comparisons and Giffiths influence on Miquella makes absolutely no damn sense.

So first and foremost, warning: I will be talking about and spoiling Berserk, so if you wanna read it for yourself then steer clear of this analysis

So to start off let's discuss Griffith and his character/motivations in Berserks story: Griffiths whole goal from childhood was to establish his own country, his own paradise and to achieve that goal he first established his own mercenary group The Band of the Hawk. Griffith was beautiful and charismatic and the people who were apart of his band all looked up to Griffith and admired him, placing all of their hopes and faith into him and his dream.

But as the story goes on Griffith hits an all time low point, and after essentially being tortured for a year, which makes him emaciated, weak and practically crippled for life, all of Griffiths dreams seem like an utter impossibility as he is left as nothing more than a shadow of his former self.

That is until he decides to cast everything aside to become a God.

And by cast everything aside I mean that he betrays his companions, his Band of the Hawk, and sacrifices their lives to untold evils in what is absolutely the most genuinely horrific and unsettling imagery I have ever seen from a work of fiction in my entire life.

(Going off topic but I cannot stress this enough that if you decide to read Berserk understand that the violence shown pulls no punches with its depictions and involves both heavy gore and sexual violence. Especially the sexual violence)

Anyway, what makes the Band of the Hawks sacrifice so jarring is that these people all loved Griffith. They adored him. Backed him every step of the way and were the ones to go and rescue him as he was being tortured, and they all mourned the pitiful state that he was in when they found him. But regardless they STILL tried to be hopeful for Griffiths sake.

The Band of the Hawk loved Griffith and that is why Griffiths betrayal of them hits so hard and is why Griffith is known as one of the most evil characters in fiction.

And all of these reasons are precisely why Griffith is such a good and compelling character.

From the beginning of Griffiths introduction you could tell that something was... off about him. But at the same time his charisma and big ambitions painted him in a sympathetic light and you rooted for Griffith. But as the story went on you could see how Griffith was going deeper and deeper into the darkness and, quite frankly, his subsequent torture is entirely his own fault because he made several stupid and completely avoidable choices.

And it's all because Griffith at his core is selfish.

And it's for exactly these reasons why it's so baffling to me that so many people believe that Miquella is going to be just as evil, or worse, than Griffith.

Because in truth unlike Griffith, Miquella is not selfish.

The main problem that I have with the Miquella is Griffith comparisons is that all of those theories hinge entirely on the Bewitching Branch item description, and so many people have gone out of their way to spin Miquellas ability to compel affection as definitive proof that he is manipulative and evil, meanwhile conveniently ignoring everything else that Miquella has done in the lore.

So for a single moment, let's pretend that the Bewitching Branch does not exist and take a look at all the other lore that surrounds Miquella:

Miquella has dedicated most of his life to curing Malenia, his twin sister, of her crippling disease, and has even crafted prosthetics for her as well as an entirely new type of God Repellent Metal, which can halt the effects of said disease

He was a Golden Order Fundamentalist but ultimately abandoned it because it could not cure Malenias sickness

He created a Haven for those who are outcasts in the eyes of the most dominating and repressive Order in the Lands Between

He watered said Haven/the Haligtree with his own blood so it could grow into something that could rival the Erdtree

He used his identity as St. Trina to sing to and ease those who have been afflicted by the Frenzied Flame

There are several statues that depict Miquella and Malenia embracing eachother, 1 in Altus in an area dubbed Miquellas Hideaway and several all over the Haligtree. The fact that this statue is the dominant imagery found at the Haligtree really hammers in the fact that the twins love eachother, and that the Haligtree isn't just Miquella's, but Malenias home as well

He also has a clear affection/love for his brother Godwyn as the statue at the Haligtree depicts him embracing his siblings and even created a sword to commemorate Godwyns death and prayed for him to Die a True Death.

The soldiers of the Haligtree came across a bitter revelation as they await Miquella(presumably they feel immense guilt for being unable to protect their Lord) and explode with light, which they hope will guide Miquellas return and no Miquella did not put the light in them to make them explode there is absolutely zero proof of that, looking at you vaati

And now to be fair, lets get into the comparisons that are shared between the Griffith and Miquella:

Both are highly charismatic and beautiful individuals to the point where both Griffith and Miquella are mistaken for being girls.

The Eclispe imagery. For Griffith the Eclipse is what allows him to ascend to Godhood(after sacrificing the people who love him) and for Miquella the Eclipse is presumably how they are trying to resurrect Godwyn (Miquellas plans for the Eclipse are mostly unknown/vague at this point)

The Egg. Griffith and Miquella both go through a type of metamorphosis involving being encased in a cocoon/egg.

And honestly that's kinda it. The straight comparisons between the two are highly lacking and purely thematic in my opinion, especially when you consider everything else going on between their respective characters.

So to summarize, the good things that Miquella has done outweighs the bad and that is why Miquella is, in actuality, the exact opposite of Griffith. Unlike Griffith who is selfish, Elden Ring canon points to Miquella being a compassionate and loving individual, and if anything, he is a complete inversion to Griffiths character.

With the points listed above a majority of the in game text highly suggests that Miquella is kind and altruistic, and with the newest text regarding Miquella in the DLC:

Points to Miquella potentially being selfless and self-sacrificial.

And also, I've seen several people argue that Miquella wants to become a God so he can create his own utopia/Falconia like Griffith did. And I'm like.... Uuuum okay well, there is a big problem with that argument along with an elephant in the room that's being completely ignored, and that is the fact that Miquella has already created his utopia/Falconia with the Haligtree and Elphael.

So as of this moment Miquellas exact goals are completely unknown, what he is doing in the World of Shadow cannot be determined until the DLC arrives. But my point remains that so many people seem to think that Miquella will be evil based off of, in my opinion, evidence that is completely lacking in substance, along with the pervasive belief that since Elden Ring has drawn inspiration from Berserk/Griffith it means that Miquella will end up as a similar type of evil character as Griffith, all while ignoring the things that Miquella has done in canon that sets him apart as his own character.

So I've said my piece and what I believe in, so I'm just going to leave this analysis with this last statement:

The good that Miquella has done and committed himself too in the Lands Between completely outweighs the singular implied evil of the Bewitching Branch.

#uri posts #elden ring #miquella the unalloyed #elden ring theory #shadow of the erdtree #also yes this is griffith slander i think he is a dumbass lol

[thatdeadaquarius]

PART 2 - Genshin Impact SAGAU / Isekai: Gifts to Give Your Allogene!

ELEMENTS HERE: Dendro, Hydro, Cryo, Geo

Part 1 / Part 2 (you're here!)

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Sun: Gender Neutral Reader (they/them only)

Planet: General SAGAU / Isekai Stuff, Platonic Cuteness

Orbit: Headcanons-ish, a couple sentences for each

Stars: a little bit of everybody as of Baizhu/Kaveh update! including rare beloveds like Aloy! (I hope I got them all… at least the playable ones… ) Please understand that some characters are more “foreground” characters and have more screen time so I may have written some more for them because I knew them better!

Comets & Meteors: Content Warnings: weapons for gifts?? 16+ Older Teen Audiences Advised, light cussing

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& Trigger Warnings: None Known.

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Edit 1/1/24: Hey I expanded on this in my Eldritch Fanfic Post Part 2, but I just wanted to vet the old posts and say I did do a form of exoticism by including the word "Huangdi" throughout this.

I've since replaced it for better readability with "Emperor" but I didn't want to erase my mistake like it never happened. I'm genuinely sorry about this, I never had ill intentions by including it, but regadless of intentions that's the impact of my actions. I'm absolutely going to be looking out for kind of thing in the future/get a sensitivity reader/a beta read from that culture to check me.

I hope you still enjoy my writing and can understand.

Dendro Allogenes:

Tighnari = with some help again to put magic into it, you give Tighnari some head coverings you sewed together that have the power of Cryo in them! So now he can actually see what plants are out in the desert, visit Cyno, or just enter the desert to his heart’s content, which, yes, his tail started unconsciously wagging after you explained what it was. “Oh! For me? Well I’ve taken to avoiding the desert if I can because of… wait a minute, you say it has cryo in it? What? How does that work?? You think it’ll genuinely help me in the desert?? You made it???” Tighnari’s ears are all twitching with excitement, and he’s holding the covering (that matches his clothes/dark green) like it’s a new plant for study, omg he pulled out his magnifying glass and everything-

Collei = so she’s actually a really good seamstress, and makes plushies a lot, esp for kids! but one day you found one of her first attempts, a ragged looking sort of pale pink bunny… her first attempt at a plushie Baron Bunny!! so you decided to mimic her design (still baron bunny but with a sort of Sumeru-like clothing on it), and sew her one! You made a whole day of it, eating together, going to the best spots to sightsee (for as long as Collei was up for it/not too tired) and then gifted her the plushie Baron Bunny! She accidentally let out a small scream that startled both of you tbh, and then snatched that shit so quick lmao, kicking her feet on the picnic blanket and everything! With your permission of course, Collei then tackled you for a hug lol, she ranted about all the little details and made you tell her several times over how you made it so she could make some more in the future too! She may or may not have talked about missing Amber and teared up… but then you redirected her attention to the bunny saying, it’s like a gift from Amber and you really! (you also added a function where, if you squeeze the Baron, it’ll dish out some healing power and some heat! …Collei tackle hugged you twice for that one)

Alhaitham = what a hard person to get gifts for, he’d probably be like “thanks” no matter what you got him 😭, he means it tho, it would just be underwhelming… but on the bright side, he definitely seems like he’d show a deeper appreciation for handmade gifts! Since you learned how to make one for Yoimiya, you decide this calls for another handmade hammock (also bc Teyvat doesnt have hammocks)! You painted symbols like green crystals and geometric patterns, but also lions and a golden Palace of Alcazarzaray for Kaveh, and your symbol, the eight point star (like the four point but with flare/not like the jewish symbol with equal points lol)!! So that way he can keep lazing away, and avoid people more comfortably lmao, and also if he is going to do that, he doesnt have to sit on rocks or hard structures for hours reading, and you hope it’s encouragement for him to spend time outside/take a break and nap! (Haitham knows that’s part of why you gave him this, even if you didn’t say it, and so he makes a point to do that more often to make you happy, take the advice for his health) oh look, after thoroughly looking at your craftsmanship for 10 minutes, you got a smile in addition to a “thanks”, damn, that’s actually how you know he likes it a lot <3 :)

Nahida = you remember vaguely from Nahida’s storylines/friendship levels that she loves games, and so you collect her a nice deck for Genius Invokation TCG! You also made her a cute bag and container for it, her bag is a rose maple moth crocheted bc really this was an excuse to just make the cutest character in Sumeru look even cuter, (like this, i tried very hard ok, bc this doesnt exist yet, im shocked) The first image is most correct, (imagine the face and stuff is cuter/simpler) as that’s also the backpack part! Her eyes were so big when you handed it to her, (you honestly were shocked they even could get any bigger lol). She jumped up and down excitedly with the backpack on (ur fucking heart, just like you intended, the wings flapped around and everything <333) you are also currently working on a luna moth (the pale green moth) in case she wants it to match her outfit more! even tho Nahida insists something handmade once is enough, you can see the childish yearning in her eyes, like a kid trying to say no to a toy that’s being offered right in front of them lmao

Kaveh = pretty girls deserve pretty things, and you were definitely feeling the pressure to make something high quality enough for Kaveh, tho u know he’s sweet enough that he’d appreciate anything you’d take the time to handmake (and tbh.. it sounds a little arrogant, but ur hoping something so cared for by what he, or at least most people see as some kind of all-powerful god above the archons, will boost his self-esteem/confidence in his own worth more, or at least let him know one more person cares about him…) so you didnt make it super detailed, and you put a note on it too to let him know your not as great at that as he would be, but you made a model of the part of the teapot house you’re going to design for him! Like a sort of sneakpeak, you made a small lookalike of Alhaitham and his house, but filled it with decor like if Howl didnt hoard all the cool shit in his room in Howl’s Moving Castle, but instead spread it out, and sort of used your modern taste for layout, (not the ugly ass corporate aesthetic) and a small garden. You also made nearly all the decor and stuff something interesting (like some primogem strings, they can be pretty small, for string lights, lampgrass from Mondstadt that he’s never seen etc.) and while you very shyly handed him the model at first, he was practically vibrating with excitement!! “You made this?! Oh of course I don’t expect perfection, it looks wonderful so far, especially if this was your first attempt!!” Kaveh has like sat down, and is delicately holding it and looking around, and when you tell him it’s an actual space, meant for him, he gently sets down the model and grabs you by the shoulders, “Show. Me. Now. …please?” looking at you with very determined puppy dog eyes lol

Yaoyao = …idk what you expected. It was so obvious. A crocheted bunny backpack. brown, so it matches her, since her basket was brown, or you could leave off the feet, whichever u prefer, and anyway, Yaoyao is always doing things for others, so the little girl was so cute and pink when you actually gave her something instead! (once again, using ur old trick of making the person think u need something then shocking them with a handmade gift instead hehe) She IMMEDIATELY switched it out for her basket and has pretty much converted to using it full time! (tho when she needs the more solid one she’ll still wear it, she just alternates, esp if there’s some occasion she’ll deffo wear the bunny backpack, it’s her “fancy god-made bunny backpack!”)

Baizhu = the doctor isn’t one to talk about himself a lot, so you weren’t sure what he would like other than some new tea… but you wanted to make it yourself so while you were a little disappointed it was just a basic pet gift, you wanted to maybe put a little extra into it so maybe Changsheng will use it and Baizhu will think it’s cute! You crocheted a little pet pod/cave for her to hang out in (imagine this but a Jueyun Chili hehe) and it also has a little crocheted vine rope so the little Jueyun Chili cave can be hung from things, or even tied onto Baizhu’s apron/hold it like a purse! That way Changsheng doesn’t always have to drape across his shoulders/has somewhere to retreat! When you shyly showed Baizhu and Changsheng, he literally clapped, so did Qiqi lol (he usually does those tiny smiles… but this one was the brightest most genuine you’ve ever seen, even in game…!!) You find that Baizhu’s eyes look like that type of person’s eyes were they just look like “happy”, like there’s a little fond sparkle in his eye. Changsheng was all like “about time I got something instead of him! I’m basically an assistant too y’know! …thank you very much, my Emperor.” (if you’re NOT squimish of snake pics, pls look at this cute smile Changsheng would give)

Hydro Allogenes:

Barbara = …so even Barbara was a little hesitant at first, but came around to the idea after some convincing, and some encouragement (and showing her she was capable of it) but you basically ….may ….or may not have… found a loop hole for her being a catalyst? So, thru a lot of persuading Barbara to train with you and Childe (who also thought it was amusing to see such a young girl who’s literally a nun and a singer do this) you got Barbara to make water bombs! Like her circle of notes that float around her when healing, she sings and gestures and similar to her ult, (but like Childe’s E-skill it just switches between the two), the notes fly out and explode in the direction she sings/aims! You wanted to remind her of her old dream of being recognized, and wanting to help in battle in a more combat way, and besides, you’re sick of women getting regulated to the healing magical role in games/anime fantasy, so yeah. You and Childe are literally evilly giggling to each other in the background as Barbara sends quater notes and lines of music that explode (like how water can sharpen and cut things like Childe’s blades? Yeah he taught her that) so intensely that it cuts into the Pyro Lawlachurl, bringing it to its knees- Barbara accidentally cuts its head off as the finishing blow. While she gasps in a little fear, but mostly shock, Childe jumps up and down and starts cheering.

Mona = got sparkly eyes, nearly snatched the gift out of your hand, you made her some awesome earrings from the character banner wishes! All pretty ombre pink and blue they swirl and look so pretty framing Mona’s face, she only wears them on special occasions despite your claim of everyday use, they also help her figure out where the clearest view of the night sky each night but glowing brighter and brighter when she gets closer to seeing clearly, Mona is almost? weirdly envious?? for her past self that had to suffer thru all the inconvenient cloudy nights lmao

Childe = like anon said, a new pair of knit gloves, using the fur from the snow king boar! he’s amazed they never wear out now, and he totally uses them as an excuse to hold your hands all like “I just can’t get over how soft they are, feel them, you did amazing comrade! even better than some Snezhnayan shops!!”, exactly what you expect he’s leaning into your face and everything- 🙄

Xingqiu = an ao3 account you had a hard time with Xingqiu’s, afterall, he’s from a wealthier family, so he can get mostly what he wants, and you don’t wanna just get him another book… so you kidnapped him to Inazuma! (idk if this is canon, or happened in an event or smth I missed idfc) So, you also kidnapped Albedo for this trip, so that Xingqiu could actually see the impact his writing made overseas! While you intended for this trip to make Xingqiu feel better abt his writing, (and to help Albedo feel appreciated too, despite him not expressing much low self-esteem in his art, compliments heaped upon him def cant hurt, plus u can see him go pink too hehe) you also wanted to surprise him with a author book signing! If he was up for it, of course, which he “I absolutely, definitely, certainly am, my liege!” Kid’s practically hopping in place, as you get him all ready for his book signing (and not rlly Albedo bc he’s always fucking perfect, u dont have to do shit, even his messy hair looks nice 💀) …you also may or may not have given him some hair decorations (to help his asymmetrical cutting, not that it looks super bad, but for a change at least)

Yelan = …it’s official. You are intimidated. It’s only pretty hydro women and Ayato from here on, on your “Gift List”. Needless to say, like a few other allogenes, you wouldn’t know shit about this woman if you didn’t read her lore… it’s not a fine replacement, you don’t think, but with (lots of almond tofu, and osmanthus wine too) dev access to help you, you created another bracelet for Yelan. Inscribed (just like the heirlooms) inside simply says “You Are Not Alone”, with your eight star symbol following after (like a four star but with some flare, and also not the Jewish star lol), it glows an otherwordly gold, a contrast to the bright blues of the other bracelet. Its function is a geo shield, to protect Yelan and any teammates nearby when it’s activated, she can also leave the shielded area in one spot, so she can do her e-skill and still protect people. You’d just casually asked her to meet up with you one day in that teahouse you know she runs for intel, and when you presented her the bracelet, she held it delicately, saying nothing as she examined it, reading the inside. A small smile tugged her lips up, and she slips it on as she sips her tea, “…Well, I’ll have to show this to present this one to the family shrine, I think this more than makes up for the heirloom I failed to keep. A replacement from the Guide of Teyvat themselves… Thank you, my Emperor, for this handwrought gift you bestow upon a mortal such as me. …and thank you, for not leaving me alone.” Yelan bows a little in her seat, sharp blue eyes more softened than you’ve ever seen her, trained on yours. Her hands are together in that same praying motion that gives you the weirdest sense of deja vu…

Kokomi = so you don’t know much about her, as the it seems the character lore for Kokomi you can remember was… lacking, to say the least. Hoyo definitely plays favorites, BUT YOU DON’T!! At least when it comes to gift givining so everyone feels appreciated, you got a pretty book (handmade or bought) and got it/made it kinda small, like the size of the book in her idle animation, bc turns out that’s her diary of sorts. You know the priestess feels if she expresses any opinions that her people will just take her side, or her word as… well, a divine priestess, the weight of her title you suppose. She also keeps track of how many spoons she has! Like what things drain her, and what things make her feel better (big social interactions vs. reading a war treaty book by herself for example) So you made her a bullet journal! (here’s one of my favorite bullet journal youtubers, here’s a flipthru of her completed journal) you didn’t fill out the whole thing, just some example pages, to show her the possibilites! …you were kinda worried bc she turned away at first after delicately accepting it, and since it was just you two, she allowed herself turn back around and start excitedly chatting your ear off as she leaned in- and wow. Kokomi’s eyes really are, dreamy, like cotton candy… and they’re so much prettier when she smiles…

Ayato = …you know exactly what to do. Interrupting his busy schedule (and only actually taking one day out of it actually bother him so he can have the others as a secret vacation hehe) to come over to the Kamisato household and homemake some boba drinks for him, Ayaka, and Thoma to try! Mostly Ayato tho, you got all the syrups, the milks teas, the boba, and luckily, were able to get some help from Xiangling in experimenting in making… popping pearls! (they’re edible boba pearls that are actually filled with juice/syrup flavors and burst on your tounge when you barely bite them! they’ve very sweet, and Inazuma definitely didn’t have any different pearls other than tapioca, those squishy black pearls you see in his regular boba tea) …Ayato is literally holding your hand like he’s about to drop to one knee, this man is down bad for boba (and you) and… are those tears?! Is he tearing up?! “I can’t believe… THE Akitsu Mikami… blessed me, personally, with boba?? With NEW boba teas and pearls I’ve never even seen?! …Thank you, my beloved emperor!” Mans has quite literally gotten on his knees, but bc he’s so tall, he can still comfortably hold both your hands in his bigger gloved ones …Thoma is desperately trying to get Ayato up, Ayaka is getting onto her brother in the background.

Candace = it’s not exactly a traditional gift… but the reason Candace doesn’t wear a lot of her jewelry or finery is because of the hard job she has as a Guardian/in the desert, so you figured giving her more things she can’t even really wear wasn’t the way to go.. So instead! You gather a journal or advice from Ningguang, Keqing, Yelan, Zhongli, and all the others in the Qixing who were willing to help you, and kidnapped Ganyu for a sight seeing trip! (since u and Ganyu has that whole “in between two very different worlds” bond) You brought Ganyu because you know if anybody would be good at managing something/getting it started (like the music fest back for Lantern Rite… that I missed bc I dont understand how lantern rite works 😭😭😭 VIOLENTLY SOBS ITS BEEN 2 YEARS AND I HAVENT GOTTEN A SINGLE LANTERN RITE U GUYS-) it would be Ganyu herself! …and to also give her a break. See Aaru Village suffered from little to no economy before Candace finally negoiated with the elders to let Sumeru merchants travel into town/buy from them/sell to them, but she’s had a rough time keeping the old coots from being dicks about it since, …and it’s also hard to convince the younger generations to come back after many wanted to see the outside world because of this… So what better what to solve two birds with one stone?? GANYU!! And all the economy and business advice you could gather form Liyue! You hope that the village flourishing (and helping Candace cut down on shady merchants) would impress the older generation, yet also get more money in the town so they can dress it up a bit more (like fixing unsteady bridges, also u kidnapped Kaveh to help revitalize their cultural architecture buildings back into life/or help make the simple buildings just prettier) Now Ganyu and her are besties (Candace rlly needed another friend besides just Dehya alone to come out and see her in the desert) and the adepti was very willing to come visit her and Aaru Village to help the economy maintain its footing/run smoothly, and Kaveh also comes and works on it/checks on her/the village! …When you initially showed all the plans to Candace, saying it’ll impress the old by bringing back old designs/architecture plus interest/satisfy the younger generations to know their hometown is advancing and make it more appealing to come back to… The Guardian puts her shield and spear off to the side, she lowers her head, and greets you, bc u kinda just started rambling without saying hello- whoops- , “Salaam aleikum Qore, **I have already become the first Guardian to have been blessed by the gods, to receive this Vision was the only aid I could turn to in trying to help my village, my community… but to be blessed once more? I would never have dared to dream, let alone the Ogdoad Qore… I am grateful on behalf of myself, my village, and all of King Deshret’s people. …truly, I did not expect a gods eyes to turn favorably upon us since my ancestors’ time. Thank you, my Qore.” You just give her a smile back, she taught you the return phrase, so you hope it’s appropiate, “Waaleikum us salam.” :)

Nilou = This woman is consumed by dancing, other than keeping the peace (well, within reason apparently bc she’s okay with a coup-) but you’ve heard how hard it can be on dancers, how plenty of them have to have strong muscles to perform consistently. So, using adepti magic, you’ve enchanted this minakari you’ve painted (a type of metalwork that’s then painted by artists, on Earth countries like Iran, India, Afghanistan, Pakistan make them) like the teapot! It’s a small island that has a dance studio, and more importantly, a spa with hot springs, a sauna, and a room full of medical supplies dancers would need like salves, heating/cooling pads (using pyro/cryo), and space for stretches! Overall, just a place for her to get away from all the people and to heal her body up for the next performance, and after getting it all prepped/packed up with supplies, and showing it to Nilou… she literally had her hands over her mouth the whole walk around the rooms and showing her everything. Nilou had already been shocked you’d painted her a minakari piece, let alone all this! Like some others, she was quick to drop the formalities, and before you could even say “I hope you like it!” she was wrapping her arms around you and squeezing as tight as she could, tearing up and saying how happy she was that someone understood how hard dance can be on the body and how hard it can also be to take care of yourself, and how she can’t possibly show her gratitude- wait a minute. She’s pulled back and gripping you by the shoulders, not even bothering to wipe her eyes, before she swears to give you a dance every year with all the culmination of her work as she learns and makes newer and better dances!! <3

Cryo Allogenes:

Kaeya = horses so he’s actually a calvary captain- you actually wanted something that’d emphasize the handmade part of the gift, to really let Kaeya know somebody out there really cares about him, cares about him in the way that they’ll sit down and think of an idea and think of him, and then work for hours, sewing, drawing, crafting something just for him, to happy about. You make him a small, pocket sized photobook, and have a picture of every person who cares about him in all the slots, and near the end, from his last birthday where you gathered everybody together to celebrate, is a photo of Jean, Klee, Albedo, Sucrose, Venti, Rosaria, Noelle, Amber, even Eula, Diona, Mika, Barbara, and Mona came! But most importantly, you got Diluc to host it at Angel’s Share, and after some convincing, got him to get in the picture, you’re slightly off center, sandwiched by Kaeya and Diluc, where Kaeya is mid-laugh at the center, having just seen Diluc’s embarrassed face. It’s the last one in the mini album, and each photo has an even small message at the bottom, giving Kaeya a message from everybody, just for him. At the very end, with the group photo just before, is one of yourself and him posing together, you having taken him out roaming Mondstadt for the perfect picnic spot, just to give an excuse why you wanted a picture with him. And at the time, he found it a little suspicious, but was just flustered enough he let it slide. But now, opening and unfolding this tiny album, full of smiling friends and caring words, Kaeya gives a small, watery chuckle, you’ve left him a message too. “Take care of yourself Kaeya, because someone out there really cares about you. :) “

Rosaria = After seeing her “nun” outfit, there’s no doubt in your mind that Rosaria is yearning for clothes closer to her preferred aesthetic. So, using your knowledge of punk clothes and modern goth religious aesthetics, you’ve made some pieces for her to try! Some black pumps with metal crosses for heels, yes they’re sharp and this nice shawl with beads, and finally, a nice lacy skirt (no you did not make fucking lace, jesus christ, you’re not a miracle worker, despite the belief of some teyvatians-). All of which, wow, got Rosaria to give you an honest to god… smile. A full, genuine smile from Rosaria… yeah that made all your hard work worth it.

Eula = a book on common manners so Eula is actually great at cooking! So what better chaos to gift to her other than introducing her to Xiangling! Especially since you’ve given the young Liyuean cook recipes from your own world for her to try out, she’s been on a rampage of new things, and so what better new experience than a cook from an entirely different country? You also made a small book of recipes (look up how to make a zine book on youtube it’s actually kinda easy) from your world, different from Xiangling’s because you thought Eula would like different recipes than her. …So needless to say you were then being berated by two chefs for not sharing all the recipes lmao, tho that really just gave them reason to share recipes! Also any new spinoffs Xiangling’s already made from the initial ones you gave her, and now Eula not only graciously thanks you for the recipes, but also her new pen pal! :)

Diona = So, to prep for this gift, you forced converted the Cat’s Tail to a non-alcoholic cat cafe during the daytime, and only in the evenings do they start serving alcohol/cats put up. You also got onto Margaret for hiring a child to make alcohol, so instead have Diona work better hours, and only during the cafe time, so she’s not making alcoholic drinks either. (you also checked in on child labor laws in Mondstadt, and ran some paperwork by Jean just in case) But most importantly, you teach Diona all kinds of new drink recipes to make, like Shirley Temples, smoothies, etc. You even (once again, by getting help from Xiangling and Diluc) made a drink for hangovers, but more importantly, helped her make one called “Sober Up” which magically flushes out the alcohol out of someone’s body, so Diona can finally sneak people a drink that (while still cursed to be well-made since Diona made it) is a trip to drink lol, it’s like a blast of carbonation/electricity to the system and will typically make most people very nauseous (but since magic’s doing it, they dont need to throw up, they’re just sick feeling for an hour depending on how much they drank). Diona nearly cried after she saw the effect on hungover customers, and immediately started sneaking them into her father’s drinks, so now he’s leaning more toward sobriety most days, and after finding out what Diona did, started to talk to his daughter more. The next time you see her, and ask after her father, she just wraps her little arms around your waist, the highest she can reach, you hug her back.

Chongyun = for prep for this gift, you painstakingly, slowly convince Chongyun to accept more and more moments of warmth, like trying some spicy food that’s gone cold, but just away from people so he can be silly out in the Liyuean mountains instead, and to try and use exposure therapy to try and get him used to yin energy/warm/excitable things, rather than the inefficient method of just avoiding it all (as it doesn’t always work/deprives him of so many nice things!! >:[ ). So that way! You can finally! Take him to have fun!!! You haul him (and Xingqiu bc the more the merrier) to go swimming in Luhua Pools, go jumping off all the peaks from one to another paragliding, using cryo to surf down waterfalls, and most importantly, go to a hot springs at the end of the day! Chongyun was worried about them being too hot and activating his yang energy, but you all agreed he had been training to get used to it, so now he when he goes to try it, he just relaxes into the heat. He could feel the tug to get out and run in circles and get excited, but finally, Chongyun could just choose to sit and relax into the warmth with friends instead :)

Ganyu = if I had a nickel for every woman In teyvat who just needs a break I’d be fucking rich …Obviously, a day off. But an ACTUAL day off, with work regulated to others, and unless there’s an Osial level incident 2.0 (fuck his wife, you put Shenhe on duty to protect Liyue just in case) NO ONE. IS. TO. DISTURB. GANYU’S. FIRST. VACATION. IN. DECADES. You get her to show you the prettiest viewing spots in Liyue, and as you go, tell stories from your life on Earth, showing her pictures on your phone (from both the internet and ur photos), to show her how mortal you are on one hand, but then how different you are here, upgrading her weapons and artifacts, and most importantly, her gift, a Teyvat modified cellphone! Albedo and you had been working together for months to try and make something close enough to connect ur two worlds, while introducing him to adeptal magic and other powerful objects like primogems and wishes that you have to help power it, that way the only other person who might understand immediately how it feels to be (literally lol) caught between two worlds can always rely on each other! …Ganyu cried. Yep, tears down her cheeks and everything, “…I- I- don’t even- even know what to say? All this, telling me about your mortal world, helping me get stronger, and now- now this? I may not have much to give in return, other than my company and my bow… but should you ever need me, or even wish for me, I will hold you as steady as I hold together Liyue itself, my Emperor." Ganyu’s smile is so, so, so pretty, and all the prettier now that her soft blue hair and sweet eyes are framed by the sunset, like it’s her own gift back to you.

Qiqi = A backpack for herbs! You’ve made sure to stitch her name into it so in case she forgets it’s hers, she’ll just see her name again, and lots of little pockets so she can carry all the herbs/make deliveries, it looks a little like this but with a goat instead of cow, and some cocouts lmao, literally a “coco-goat” milk backpack! She is now the cutest person in Liyue, everyone agrees, nearly every single person who comes into Bubu Pharmacy gives Qiqi a compliment now, and Baizhu will periodically take a break just so he and Changsheng can coo at her lmao (Qiqi made sure she wrote down in her notebook in big letters next to your name “This person made my cocogoat backpack, remember to thank them during prayer times, and collect lots of fresh herbs for them”)

Shenhe = It’s kind of a lot, but really, at this point, you’ve done more for some of the others so this probably isn’t even scratching the surface of how big of a gift you can give, so why not. Going full steam ahead, you furnish her a house at the edge of town, so that she’s not overwhelmed by all the human traffic/people, but still close enough to make the friends she wants! When you first show her the dining/living room so plenty of guests can come over, and begin to tour her through it, the strongest woman you’ve probably ever known gently holds your shoulders and stops you from speaking, and turns you to face her, Shenhe’s eyes are sharp with observation as they roam your face, and then settle on your own wide eyes. Her eyes soften, and a small smile warms her usual stern face, (idc how tall you are, she’s taller, I fucking promise) as she leans down a little to look at you closely in the eyes, “Thank you for being a kind god. You did not have to be so generous to me, and yet here you are. If you ever feel like you’re an outsider in Teyvat, in any country or company you find yourself in, please, promise me you’ll come here. Come home to me?” ✨💘✨

Ayaka = You manage to get her away from her duties to take her out to Sumeru! Mostly so you can introduce her to Nilou, see her performance, and the flourishing arts that now fill Sumeru City’s streets, and more importantly, a dress you made so she could dance with Nilou + dance on stage, she wasn’t confident enough/didn’t want to dance for a crowd, so it’s just you three or just you two after awhile. Ayaka looks the happiest she’s been in awhile, more so than you ever saw in game, and it’s… almost like a breath of fresh air to see her away from what you felt was such an isolating environment, even after the Vision Hunt Decree was over. For her last dance, Ayaka does so alone, a little after the sun has set, so it’s all blue, and the stars are coming out, finally, you get to see an even better version of the dance she gave the traveler that night. She only opens her eyes at the end, to give you the giddiest smile you’ve ever seen on her, cheeks cute and plumped up bc she’s smiling so hard, and bows to you (Ayaka’s thanked you a million times, but she doesn’t need to, you can feel how happy she is just from this)

Mika = THE BOY!! One of the most boys to ever boy in all of Teyvat!! Your boy!!! :D What a boy, he nearly fainted when you handed over his gift one day, and you had to reach out and steady him, then hand him it again 😭 It’s similar to the Marauder’s Map, since you enchanted it (once again, what’s the point of dev access if I can’t make gifts for my skrunklies?) and since you don’t want it to end up in bad hands/get spyed on, it only shows itself with a phrase as well “I wish upon a golden star, to know this land as well as its player.” and it’ll show him everyone in public spaces in Mondstadt, not private homes, but like the plaza, the church, the Knights of Favonius, etc. He thanks you every single time he sees you for the map, as it’s both fascinating to him to have a proper well-drawn map of the city of Mondstadt (you copied it from the Teyvat in game map, but there were some buildings missing bc they’re more real here/more fleshed out as a irl city) but that just made Mika even happier bc he can go and map them out!! Literally can’t talk to you bc all he’s saying is “T-TH-TH-THANK-THANK YOU ALL FURST-!!!” before running away most of the time lol

Layla = An embroidered tiny pillow for her to easily clip onto her bag/fit in it, and take on the go with her! (this but the text just says “Sweet Dreams Layla ♡” ) that you’ve also added scent to, including some sleep inducing magics, so she’s guarenteed to sleep well and efficiently when she uses it! She blushed so hard you thought she was sick at first when you gave it to her, and she also used the pillow as a shield to hide her face as she thanked you lmao, and she made you a pillow in return! …even if she thinks it’s not as good as yours, both craft wise and function, Layla worked for weeks on it! …lol now ur the one hiding ur face behind a pillow (this but they’re all plants of sumeru)

Aloy = …if you had a nickel for every person you’ve provided with a house, you’d have two nickels. Which isn’t a lot, but it’s weird it happened twice… Poor damn heroine just got dragged from one world to the next, just as the last one finally was at peace, now she’s here in Teyvat, where nothing’s familiar, the entire world is set up different, people are nicer and more open here, and there’s still threats looming on its horizon. Needless to say, she is tired, and misses her own homeworld. You really wish on her behalf that Hoyo hadn’t done a crossover, but since she’s here, you figure you might as well make it easier on her. You’ve made another teapot-like adeptal magic container, so she can have a place all to herself, and given her a ticket to your own, afterall, if anybody knows what’s its like to get yanked to another world, specifically Teyvat, it’d be the travelers and yourself, and sure enough as time goes one, Aloy becomes closer with you all, and begins to finally feel a sense of familiarity, she wraps an arm around your shoulders the first time she saw you tried to make her own personal teapot place emulate her homeworld. The widest grin you’ve seen on her face, she gives you a squeeze, “It’s just been one adventure after the next, and when we started out, you were just another stranger in a world I didn't understand. But after everything we've been through, I can say this for certain: My bow is yours, now and always. Thank you for the second home, my king.” Aloy says teasingly, laughing at the face you make.

Geo Allogenes:

Noelle = goddamn when will the busy women trend END these poor souls Motherfucker, you’re gift to Noelle was to knight the damn girl yourself. No, but you nearly talked Jean’s ear off for an hour, after gathering evidence (both from eyewitnesses, and Noelle herself, including other knights and Jean herself) about why the literal fuck Noelle wasn’t a Knight of Favonius yet, and why she should be. After genuinely shaking Jean’s nerves a little, she agreed, and finally, Noelle was going to knighted along with any other potential recruits during the testing season, (as people with high reputations, which, once again, using your god status for all its worth, could recommend new recruits) but most importantly… You gave her a 5-star claymore, which, you do have to somewhat work on yourself physically in teyvat now, but your dev access lets you cheat a little (like the cooking meter on cooking dishes, you’re the goddamn cooking god when hosting guests hehe) so you also are allowed to edit it, like adding a Geo-bonus to the weapon itself! When the ceremony for knighthood was going, and pretty much all of Mondstadt came to finally see Noelle get knighted, you made a fun show of walking out where you were hiding and replacing Jean, to knight Noelle yourself. She’s gone completely red in the face, and is starting to sway a little in her down on one knee position, as you gently place the blade on both shoulders, and grin at her as you turn and pull out the claymore for her. She actually does end up falling over, pale as a ghost, whoops-

Albedo = internet access so he can become a fucking god basically the alchemist is a hard guy to make a gift for, another person you’re a little afraid high-quality handmade gifts would impress him more… so you worked hard, and eventually you managed to make three big notebooks for Albedo, one with lined paper, one bulleted, and one blank for sketches (you did the title page a decent sketch of his pretty face smiling and “For Albedo” underneath, and while that one had a picture, the other two had just the words) and you also loaned him your cellphone for awhile, and suggested the idea of a laptop to make for himself, as he already managed to get you connected to Earth’s internet again, that’s part of the reason you customized/made him notebooks, so he could research from the internet and write down any notes he wanted! …wow. you really did it. after explained all this, and leaving him notes about the laptop idea as loose paper stuck inside one of them, you managed… to get Albedo to… smile. At you. Like a FULL smile, pretty lips, wide smile, and flushed cheeks-!! Albedo caught the notebooks you almost dropped.

Ningguang = what do you get the woman that has everything? so you started to think of things that’d make an experience, and after remembering her lore about her making a chess game, you decided a board game would be good! And if you make the little pieces, it’d be one of a kind too! (she’s the type that really loves handmade gifts/as long as you put effort in it doesnt matter how “bad” it looks to her, she’ll believe it’s still good <3) …So you made a Teyvat version of Monopoly. You figured the business part would be in her realm of expertise, and maybe she could use it to play with business associates or friends, and of course, she’s a competitive woman, so she thinks it’s great, and even asked permission that a marketable version be made (one that’s not nearly as nice quality as hers from you obviously)! Ningguang also treated you very well as a thank you for making it for her, a nice dinner at Liuli Pavilion, with a useful gift of places you haven’t seen in Teyvat yet bc it’s more expansive now that you’re physically here!! You may have gotten over-excited about it… and she may have chuckled at you… and you may have gotten flustered after she rested her pretty hand on yours for nearly half the dinner as you stuttered thru and explanation of the game…

Zhongli = …what do you get the man that has everything (ningguang problem 2.0)?? Well, since you thought of something for her that was an experience a little bit, yet also one of a kind, you figured the same path for the previous God of Wealth/literally invented money/etc. would do, plus he’d the type to deeply appreciate handmade gifts too! Using a few chunks of Light Realm Core, 3 Masterless Starglitter, 1 Intertwined Fate, and 1 Condensed Resin, to make a nigh indestructible Ginko leaf hair pin, which also to replace his last pin, which while not broken, was getting old and beat up (he’s immortal he doesn’ notice these things unless they’re like magically long lasting items lol). But in a few spots are these peach beads like this instead of all white beads, like on the ring both have symbols of longevity, and are usally associated with immortals, you wanted to make something that’d also hold memories (hence the resin, from leylines) so if the erosion ever took him, Zhongli could hold the pin and see some of his favorite memories played back (like misty glittering gold projections)! When you told him all this, the materials, (he obv knew the symbols) and the intentions, and then handed him the gift, his soft smile got bigger and bigger, until you could see him small fangs (❤️‍🔥) and then he turned around? You were confused, until he look over his shoulder, his eyes flashing gold in the sunlight, “Will you do me the honor, my Emperor?” OH- you unclip his old geo cor lapis one, and pull his hair up into more of a low bun, and put the hair piece in. the golden ginko leaves chime softly in the breeze. The old god turns back to you (idc how tall you are, he’s taller, and he had to crouch a little so you could reach lol) and gives you that blinding, beautiful smile again, the kind that makes his eyes look warm and happy. He takes your hand delicately, like you’re made of something fragile instead of stars and magic stronger than any he’s ever seen, “Truly, you bless me too generously, my Emperor. Thank you, for caring for a forgotten god like me, for caring about my heart.” …Zhongli presses a soft chaste kiss to your knuckles, right on the middle finger’s knuckle, his lips are warm and so, so soft, like they’re barely even there. <3

Yunjin = a bit difficult because she’s so theater focused in life, but you figure since she does solo shows a lot, she’ll still be the one to benefit the most from your gift, you made some floating plaustrite lanterns to help heft some platforms for more stage space/cool effects! (this but a little more detail, you painted some bamboo and a few simple adepti on them) Like putting props up there or lights to aim on actors, or even actors themselves since the floating rock is steady enough! Yunjin practically squealed (which immediately made every actor in the vicintity be like “YUNJIN!! UR VOICE WILL GO HOARSE STOP-”) and gather the whole troupe to thank you! But she especially told you that although she already intended for you to have front row seats every time you came to see her plays, she especially wanted to get some stories from your life, or even just your favorites from Earth for her to perform for you!! (she even suggested that one of the platforms could be your special seat, like an opera box seat lol)

Itto = you know that belt buckle he wears that’s just an Oni head? Yeah, you made him a second belt but with a onikabuto beetle as the buckle instead! (kinda like this) but a small enough it’s not inconvenient and poking his stomach, which you definitely got a Inazuman blacksmith to help out, you mostly painted it, and when you show Itto the belt, mans literally just wraps his buff arms around you like a hug but then just starts spinning you rapidly, and lets out the highest pitch “EEEEEEEEEEE-!!!” you’ve ever heard him make (and you’ve given him a few trinkets before, so this is a new record wow). No, it doesn’t matter to Itto how much you weigh, have you seen his abs?! He says as he’s still got you a little off the ground, and is now walking away with your limp body and wearing his new belt, “This, and a proper meal to thank you are the bare minimum, my wonderful emperor! Come on, the gang’s already there anyway, you gotta try my Granny Oni’s food, and I’ll make something too! My best, most special, sandwich, Way of the Strong!! Y’know, because if anybody deserves it, it’d be the strongest, and sweetest, you!!”

Gorou = since teyvat isn’t exactly the pinnacle of advanced civilization, though there are some advancements sure like the Kamera, there are still a fair amount of things that’re just left up to locals to produce and make using whatever process they’ve got, regardless of efficiency, and one of those is soap. Yep, soap. Earth is more advanced when it comes to beauty products, but also hygiene products, and Gorou has a hard time maintaining his tail he’s said when he’s stressed/overworked. So, you used some knowledge from your interdimensional smartphone (love u Albedo) to find a homemade recipe to make soap! (…for dogs, but you don’t know if he’d find it offensive… so you don’t tell him LMAO) and you even made it a cute shape (just so when you handed it over, he’d open it and of course, go all red all the way down his neck even, hehe, (he secretly liked it)

You towards all of Teyvat, except it's not even their birthdays (idk if u want it to be it can)

☆

PLEASE LET KNOW IF ANY LINKS/PICS ARE INACCURATE FOR A CULTURE/MISLABELED ETC.

Me after writing all this:  _」(´ཀ`」 ∠)__

… so I may have hyperfixated a little too hard on this one.

Did the OG asker want this? …probably not…

Did anyone ask for this?? …no.

…did I do it anyway….…yes.

…sorry?

(I promise I only thought to do this because there are so many characters left out in favor of the more popular ones for most SAGAU posts, and bc i never want any of my babes to feel any less loved than any others if I was actually there in Teyvat… you get… this mess.)

sorry!

☆

Safe Travels,

💀♒

☆MY BELOVEDS☆

@karmawonders / @0rah-s / @randomnatics / @glxssynarvi / @nexylaza / @genshin-impacts-me / @wholesomey-artist / @thedevioussmirk / @the-dumber-scaramouche

#wow #im so sorry #i just wanted the lesser written abt characters to be here #did i hyperfixate bc i like giving thoughtful gifts and i love my allogenes #maybe #debatable #perhaps #YOU CANT JUDGE ME I DID THIS FOR YOU #genshin impact #genshin sagau #sagau #anon if ur out there im so sorry #genshin isekai #genshin imagines #gender neutral reader #genshin impact reverse harem #genshin impact sagau #genshin x reader #genshin fluff #genshin platonic #genshin poly

[e-hibiscus]

Pairing: Zoya x Afab!Reader

Warnings: NSFW, GP!/Transfem Zoya

Author’s Note: Repost|Not proofread, She’s my our husband-wifey 🐺, I miss her

Just something short so she could maybe come home.

Minors DNI! | NSFW! under the cut

┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈

It’s been hours since Zoya started relentlessly pounding your tight pussy. Her cum already made its home in your womb, yet she kept thrusting to deposit another load inside. The way you shake has her shuttering as she rests, buried impossibly deep inside your hole.

You’ve long lost track of how many times you’ve cum to her cock. The pool on the bed only grows as Zoya pulls out leaving you feeling empty but well spent. Her thick warm cum leaks out your sensitive hole as she plants a kiss on the nape of your neck. A gentle act for the rough treatment she’s put your body through several hours prior.

“So fucking good,” She said breathlessly with a throaty chuckle. “Such a good girl for keeping up with me. You can do one more, right? I’ll be gentle this time.”

It was easy lifting you onto her lap. Zoya could now get a good look at your fuck out expression, and she could only smile when she heard you speak.

“J-just one more.” That’s all that could leave your lips as you’re left limp against Zoya’s muscular frame. The tenderness of her touch was pleseant on your sensitive skin.

You could still feel her hard cock beneath you as she whispers her praises and affections into your ear. Zoya lifts you up and gradually lets your body sink back down on her thick girth when you were ready.

Letting out a shaky breath, Zoya waits before bouncing you up and down on her lap. The tip kisses your cervix every time as you're brought down repeatedly. Slow and steady the bulge appears and disappears with every thrust of her hips.

Your insides hug her so tightly. As time slowly went by, Zoya could feel herself throbbing inside of you, ready to fill every last inch of you with her thick warm seed, but she kept control as she muttered under her breath how lovely you feel wrapped around her. She wants nothing more than to utterly break you but she’ll treat her darling. After all, you’ve taken everything so well.

Your whole body shook and trembled as you squirted in Zoya’s arms. Her entire length shoved impossibly deep causing your eyes to roll back into your head as you let out a silent scream.

Zoya’s groan is stifled from sinking her teeth into your shoulder. Cum forcing its way into the limited space of your overstuffed womb.“Fuck, baby… You look beautiful like this with your insides painted white.”

You felt so full and content with Zoya plugging you up, keeping her cum inside. Your eyes felt heavy, exhaustion finally catching up to you as she laid the two of you down back on the bed.

“I’ll get you cleaned up. Just rest your eyes, and I’ll take care of everything when you wake up.” With Zoya’s strong arms wrapped around you protectively, sleep overtakes your tired muscles.

#🌺.hibiscus writes #🔄.repost

[lesbianlores]

Recovering undercover overlover

𖨆♡𖨆

Contains: fluff, sub!Shuri to dom!Shuri to sub again, penetration(both receiving), tribbing, strap riding, sixty-nine, spitting, squirting, SEVERAL rounds.

Word count: 3.6k

A/N: Gurl just hold onto your wigs cause this is gonna be a long nasty ride. (also I’m sorry if ts lowkey bland, I’ve been rushing through this the whole weekend)

Summary: It’s been a month since Shuri left for a mission while you were in America spending time with family. The two of you haven’t been contacting each other often, you understand she’s busy on her mission but Shuri on the other hand has been anxious out of her mind. She has the bad habit of leeching onto you and following you around like a lost puppy, but her not having the opportunity to do that because of the distance had her going crazy.

Translations: (Mholo: good afternoon) (nkosazana: princess)

(Andikwazi, andisakwazi ukuyibamba!: I can’t, I can’t hold it anymore!)

(nceda y/n, kubuhlungu!: please y/n, it hurts!)

(Oh thixo wam: oh my god)

(Yithathe: take it)

(Undithatha kakuhle, Ndizakwenza uthwale intsana zam. Yinto oyifunayo leyo?: You take me so well, i’ll have you carry my babies. Is that what you want?)

⋆.ೃ࿔* You and your family were wearing matching pajamas as you effortlessly whopped their ass in Mario Kart. Every year your family has a gathering with fun activities like face painting and baking or cooking competitions. In the middle of the race, your little cousin comes charging toward you with your phone.

“Y/n, Shuri’s calling you! Tell her I said hi!”

You give your controller to your cousin and answer, “Babyy hi, I miss you!”

“Hello sthandwa, I’m sorry I haven’t been calling you lately. I’ve been extremely busy and I understand if you’re mad at me-“

Shuri starts rambling, her voice shaking in a state of panic. The anxiety in her tone tells you she’s been anxious like this for a while.

“My love relax it’s alright I know your mission has you busy, it’s not your fault.”

You walked out to the porch from the loud sounds of your competitive family and sat on the hammock that hung from the pillars, “Just hang in there, we’ll see each other soon okay?” You hear her sigh through the phone.

“You’re right, I’m sending an airship to take you home tomorrow evening, my mission is over. Get yourself ready.” Her worried tone barely changed.

“That’s amazing I can’t wait to see you! I should start packing now, love you bye!”

“I love you too, goodbye princess.”

You screamed in excitement and zoomed back into the house, you were happy to finally see your wife but you knew you had a lot of reassuring to do.

You had spent the entire night packing and choosing an outfit to wear so you wouldn’t have to later. After having brunch with your family you changed out of your sleepwear and into the dress you had planned last night. You said your goodbyes while walking outside with bags and a plate full of your family's desserts for Shuri, “Bye we’ll miss you!!” said your mom leaning on the front door.

You waved back then you turned to see a fancy car, the second you entered you got a text from Shuri.

*We will meet each other at the palace, I can't wait to see that pretty face ❤️* You smiled at the text, your legs practically kicking back and forth.

≪•◦ ❈ ◦•≫

A few hours later and you’ve finally made it to the palace, Okoye greeted you at the entrance. “Miss y/n, Shuri is in her lab.” She bowed.

“Thank you Okoye, and stop calling me miss, just y/n.” You smiled, she returned the gesture, took your things, and escorted you to Shuri. “Take my belongings to our home.” You ordered, entering the lab you see Shuri working *of course she’s working right after a mission* you thought.

“Panther, y/n has entered the lab.” Griot announced, but you were already right behind her before she turned to see you. She immediately discarded what she was occupied with and tugged you into a warm hug, her hands resting right above your ass. “**Mholo my pretty girl, how did the visit go?” She says lowering herself to kiss your forehead.

“Why are you still working, have you gotten any sleep?” You completely ignore her question, “I did sleep a little, I was just touching up some stuff.” You saw right through that lie.

“I missed you, do you wanna go somewhere? Are you hungry? I can cook, or buy you something to eat, or maybe we can go out-“ She had a slight look in her eyes like she felt that you were going to punish her if she didn’t make you happy. Being in a relationship with Shuri for years, you start noticing this about her.

“babe- my love, what’s going on? Are you okay, talk to me.” You bring your hands on either side of her neck, rubbing below her ears with your thumbs.

“I’m just- I just can't shake the thought of losing you and feeling like I didn’t love you enough, I’ve lost too many people I loved without saying goodbye. I can’t go minutes not being in your presence without the thought of you leaving me lingering in my head, I wouldn’t be able to live with myself.”

She whimpered into a cry, you pull her in by the neck. Her head resting on your shoulder, “Listen Shuri, I carry you with me, your heart, your brilliant soul and mind I carry everywhere I go. Your existence is just enough love for me, even after death we can’t be separated because my heart and soul you carry too.”

Leaning back you bring your hands to the sides of her face, looking her right in the eyes. “Do you understand?” She nodded softly as you wiped her tears, “C'mon, let’s go home.”

≪•◦ ❈ ◦•≫



The two of you arrived at your shared house located not too far from the palace, you told Shuri to settle on the bed until you were finished preparing a bath to relax her.

You sprinkled all kinds of herbs and flowers like rose, thyme, especially lavender. You took all your jewelry off before calling Shuri into the bathroom, she walked in with only a robe on. “This is beautiful, I’m so grateful nkosazana. I love you.” She stepped closer, the both of you holding each other’s waists.

“I love you more.” You said untying her robe and letting it drop to the floor. You analyze her body before kissing right above her collarbones, she releases a shuddering sigh. She softly but swiftly bunches your dress up to your waist so it’s easier to pull off. Her slim but long hands unfastening the clips at the back of your bra, you pull her in closer so that your breasts are pressing against her.

She smells so good, ever since you complimented her body oil she never stopped wearing it. Shuri has valued you and your opinions soul heartedly, since the day you two met. She would even ask for your opinions on her work in the lab, you find it funny considering she’s the genius and you know nothing about science but you try to give her a little something nonetheless.

The hug lasted seconds but felt like minutes, hugging her softens your soul. She takes a deep breath, “You have no clue what you do to me y/n, you hold so much power over me. I’ll do anything for you.” Her voice was shaking but this time not in a state of panic, but in a state of love and lust. You tug her into a kiss, standing on your tippy toes. Your tongues dancing in each other's mouths, you knew not to fight for dominance because Shuri always wins.

“Let’s not get too distracted, the water may get cold.” You said breaking the kiss, letting her go to lead her towards the tub. As she got in first you took that time to discard your panties. She offered her hand out to help you get into the deep tub, making the water splash a bit.

The warmth of the water sunk into your skin and calmed your nerves, Shuri made her way to you, giving you a peck on your forehead. She straddled you and relaxed her head on your shoulder as you began whispering praises in her ear. You comfortingly rub her lower back while your right hand rests on her neck massaging gently with your thumb. You love taking care of Shuri, even though she feels that it's only her that should be giving in the relationship. She always put others before herself and you made it your duty to be that person for her because almost nobody else is.

Minutes of comfortable silence go by and Shuri lifts her head, her eyelids low. She licked her lips shifting closer to yours until they finally met. Her hands lowered to your hips, groping them just enough for it to hurt a little. She maneuvered her head to the side of your neck to suck and peck your sweet spot, your lashes flutter close as you moaned her name. Your mouth hanging open, making audible moans and your hands tighten on her back, nearly scratching her.

“I need more.” She mumbled in your neck. She got out of the tub before she lifted you out. As soon as your feet touched the floor she groped your ass and kissed you with greed. “Shuri- we have to dry first.” you said in between kisses, she grabbed your hand and hurried out of the bathroom to get the towel that laid at the front of the bed.

She wrapped herself in a towel and began rubbing the water off you with another, gently but firmly groping your body “You’re not slick, I know what you’re doing.”

“You do?” She said innocently with a little smirk at the corner of her lips. You hummed leaning into her for a kiss. She dropped the towel immediately to wrap her arms around your lower back, occasionally squeezing the plush of your ass.

Growing impatient, you turned the two of you around and then walked forward to the bed until she fell onto it, you straddled her lap and ripped the towel off her before pushing her by the shoulders to lay down. Shuri used her arms to pull herself further up the bed, you crawled to follow her. “Let me take care of you this time baby.”

She did nothing but whimper, she unconsciously bucked her hips up to you trying to ease that need between her legs. Nothing turns you on more than seeing Shuri vulnerable, the way she gets so lost and drunk in her arousal for you, she’s so eager for your touch that she’ll do or say anything. You teased her by kissing from her neck to her breast agonizingly slow and left one peck on her right nipple.

“Please”

Hearing her plead with such desire had you high, her jaw nearly quivered as if she were cold. Her hands had a death grip on the cozy covers under her, she looked up at you like you were a goddess. Her eyes entreating for your mercy. “Okay my love, I’ve got you.” You said lovingly, continuing your trail of kisses down her body you finally arrived to where she needed you most. You tease her one last time as you pecked and then sucked her clit, releasing it with a pop.

“ugh-” she moaned before her hands shot to the sides of your head, her back arching high. You waste no more time and wrapped your plump lips around her puffy clit, the hum you let out at her taste sending waves of vibrations through her.

She rolled her hips practically fucking your face. You love how submissive and soft her moans were, It was like calm music to your ears, like the harmonies smooth silk or honey would make if it could sing. Shuri’s expression was a sight for sore eyes, her eyebrows frowned, eyes nearly closed but she forced her eyes open to keep the glimpse of you buried in her pussy in sight, her mouth slightly open almost panting like a dog before she released a shattered moan and threw her head back.

You were eating her out so good she couldn’t even mutter a word to warn you she was cumming, but it didn’t matter because you know her. You know how shaken and loud her moans get before her climax, how she goes to grip the bottom of the wooden headboard she had to replace millions of times because of her strength. How she can’t even moan anymore as she goes silent

while her fluids are leaking into your mouth, you drinking it in like you’ve been dehydrated for years.

You give her clit one more kitten lick before removing your mouth. “Good girl” You praised, while crawling for her lips into a tired kiss. “You did a good job, but I’m not done with you.”

You crawl to the edge of the bed to grab the bag of toys y’all keep in the drawer very close to where you lay for scenarios like this. Crawling back, you see Shuri who sat up in excitement once she saw what you were getting out of the bag.

It was one of her favorites, a lengthy and thick dildo she mostly uses when she misses you and you’re not around. “have you used this lately?” You already knew the answer considering Shuri is overly hypersexual when it comes to you, but you wanted to hear her say it.

She nodded shyly while impatiently eying at it in your hand, “Words.” She lifted her gaze to your demanding eyes and spoke “Yes, I’ve used it thinking about you, about how much I missed those lips that drive me insane. Those curves and stretch marks I could admire all day, I missed you so much.” She shuddered, getting closer to your lips while licking her own.

“Good.” You whispered, lips ghosting each other as you teased your lips over hers while pulling your head back, making Shuri chase you. That didn’t last long, her patience snapping as she used her hand to keep you in place, finally closing that space and crashing her lips on yours.

Taking her state of submissiveness to your advantage you overpower the kiss and lean forward until she’s lying on her back again. You angle your body to the side with her left leg over your shoulder so that your mouth has easier access to her clit while you tease her hole with the toy. You can feel her bud pulsate in your mouth from the sensitivity of her previous orgasm, you look up to see Shuri already gaping at you, the way she can’t keep you out of her eye view makes you smile a little.

After kitty licking her clit for a while you push the silicone deep inside without a warning. Shuri shot up, her elbows holding her up so that she could have a better view as you pumped in and out while swirling your tongue on her pussy simultaneously.

Shuri had her bottom lip trapped between her teeth, her hips in sync with the thrusts you fucked her with. “Y/n, y/n i’m cumming, please tell me I can cum please!” Her accent grew thicker than usual, you denied her request shaking your head, and sucked harder. Tears built at the edge of her eyes, her elbows doing her no more justice as her upper body plopped back into the silk of the bed. “**Andikwazi, andisakwazi ukuyibamba!” She came, this time her liquids squirted and splattered everywhere, but you didn’t stop.

“nceda y/n, kubuhlungu!!” She screamed in agony. You couldn’t get enough, swaying your head from side to side over her clit for one last taste then pulling it out and removing your mouth immediately, licking her essence from your lips. You sat and cherished this view of Shuri, still catching your breath you pressed your body against hers. “I love you.” You whispered on her lips before kissing them for the hundredth time, “I love you more, but we aren’t done.” She said before flipping the both of you over, making her the one on top now.

“It’s my turn.”

It surprises you how she could be obedient and needy at one time then dominate and possessive at another, effortlessly putting you in your submissive state. She had a soft grip on your thick hips, kissing and sucking on your neck. “Keep it wet for me, I’ll be back.” Was all she said before she crawled off the bed and went into y’all’s shared closet.

She quickly came back out with a strap wrapped around her waist, but it was ordinary, it was glowing. “Why is it glowing? Is that vibranium? How’d you do that?” You questioned while scooting to the end of the bed.

“Yes, I made it a while ago, I was going to save it for a special occasion but this can’t wait any longer.” You squinted to get a better look at it as she walks closer to you, you worry that it’ll feel odd or even hurt considering vibranium is literally one of the strongest elements of metal on earth.

She noticed the look of concern on your face, “It won’t hurt at all my love.” She said as if she could read your mind. Shuri then grabbed the sides of your head and bent down to give you a loving kiss, it started simple then gradually went into a nasty make-out session.

Your craving and desperation leading to aggression, you pull her by the sides of her abdomen encouraging her to grab your hips and lean you back swiftly, your ass nearly hanging off the end of the bed. You wrap your plump legs around her waist, “I need you, please.” You begged, trying to grind yourself on her. Your pleading went to no avail, the determination in your eyes made her smirk.

“Will you be good for me and let me get her ready, hm?” You nodded.

≪•◦ ❈ ◦•≫

Her fingers rammed into your slick walls rapidly, she supported her balance with a hand around your neck. Your eyes met the back of your head, mouth hanging open in pleasure, you were close.

Shuri took note, loosening the pressure she had on your neck so she could lean down to your lips for another kiss. You pull her in and claw at her back as you cum, letting go of the kiss to moan.

“Ndixelele into oyifunayo sthandwa, ndikuphe.” Her lips grazed over your ear, your heart was still beating just as fast as a bunny, but she wasted no time.

“I need you in me, I want you to own all of me. Show the world who I belong to.”

“Oh yeah? Is that what you want baby?”

“uh huh” you moaned. She glides her dick up and down your folds, occasionally stopping to rub your clit in small circles with it, holding her bottom lip between her teeth, smirking.

The lids of your eyes became bricks, you took a deep breath trying to release some of your tension. Shuri drove your senses wild with her entrancing chuckle, the familiar sent and taste of her still lingering on your lips, her breath-taking melanated skin that covers the abdominal muscles you love to glide your hands up and down on, and finally that eye-rolling feel of her sliding herself inside between your glistening folds.

She groaned throwing her head and eyes back narrowly, your mouth gaped at the stretch. The vibraniam glowed dimly, signaling that she feels it.

“Mmh look at how well it slides in, so wet.” She says, whispering to herself as if you’re not there. She brought her hands to the back of your knees and lifted your legs to rest on her shoulders. Shuri started slow but hard, sliding out all the length but just the tip before she thrust it back in. With every stroke, a moan escaped your lips and your body jerked every time her hips met your thighs.

She leaned down, getting a hold on your shoulders to deepen how much of her is in you. Shuri intensified the speed of her thrusts, you held onto her wrists moaning for her.

“You know how to fuck so good!” You cry, she growled in response just as she moved to lift you by the hips to pound herself into you harder. You vent out a throat-wrenching scream, it hurts so good. Your back arched flawlessly, your tits brutally bouncing wild from the force of her hips. You couldn’t hold onto anything but the sheets, virtually ripping the fabric due to the violent grip you have.

The tip of her dick touched your soul, sweat coursing through her abs. Continuous grunts of ‘Oh thixo wam’ and ‘Yithathe’ poured out of her foul mouth.

“Undithatha kakuhle, Ndizakwenza uthwale intsana zam. Yinto oyifunayo leyo?” She smiled at the idea, gazing down at you for an answer.

“Yes panther! I’ll be the mother to your children! it’s what I want, breed me!”She groans speeding her thrusts to an inhumane pace “Kiss me!” You yelped, begging longingly while opening your arms out to her for a hug. Shuri doesn’t think twice about freeing your hips from the air and embracing her arms under your shoulders. Her tongue dives inside, the vibrations from your moans bouncing off the walls of your mouths. She pulled back sucking your tongue between her lips before letting go with a string of saliva following, then spitting it back in your mouth.

“Oh my fucking God you’re filthy.” You laughed.

“You want more, hm? Open your mouth.” She ordered, and you obeyed. Sticking your tongue out to catch the strand of spit she gave, she dropped down to swirl her tongue in your mouth then spit it all back in again. “Swallow it.” She said slowing her strokes to focus on how you closed your eyes in pleasure as you gulped the mixture of her spit with yours. “Mmhm” Shuri moaned in approval. She then pulled herself up, bent your legs to your heart, and piped hard as she was previously.

You threw your head back in bliss, bawling at the pain and pleasure. You’ve lasted as long as you could, that heavy pressure forming at the pit of your stomach.

“Shuri-“

“Cum” She interrupted, and you didn’t think twice. Clawing at her wrists as your cum sprayed on her. Your legs shook aggressively, toes curling and all. She pumped her hips a few more times before coming to a complete stop.

“Bast.” Shuri gasped, collapsing on top of you.

“Tired already panther?”

(Ya’ll I got to split this into two parts cause I don’t want to keep you waiting any longer, I didn’t have time to proof read neither but hey.)

#shuri black panther #shuri x reader #shuri fanfiction #shuri smut #shuri imagine #shuri fic #shuri x y/n #shuri fluff

[cntoesussie]

The Mercs and spooky season because silly

Scout:

tries to summon things (weegee board style)

succeeds sometimes

he cannot spell ouija for the life of him

sets up pranks

half of them fail

TPs some houses

almost gets shot

essentially he fucks around and finds out a bunch

and he never learns

Soldier:

dresses up as George Washington

creates a kid army

raids a candy store

13 missing

uses the power of legal loopholes (he memorized all of them) to get his ass out of trouble

Is known as the Founding Father Fiend

Pyro:

the thing Scout summons /j

bro goes around town and threatens people trick-or-treats

may or may not be arrested

gets sick (too much sugar :[)

doesn’t regret a thing

Demoman:

*insert Scream Fortress shenanigans here*

is actually really paranoid during these times

does little shenanigans to take his mind off it

drinks a lot more to cope when shenanigans aren’t available

joins in with Medic during Oktoberfest

Heavy:

also joins Medic during Oktoberfest

goes all out with decorations

but he hand-makes it so it looks authentic

bro is really good at carving pumpkins for no reason at all

once made replicas of each of the mercs using pumpkin skin

took him several days

he had way too many pumpkin guts to spare

nobody knows what he did with them

not even me

Engineer:

oh no peepaw has horrors in the shed

don’t open it

or… >:]

he really likes the musical ‘Little Shop of Horrors'

has his own little shop of horrors that’s only open during October

stole borrowed Blu Spy’s head

some people may or may not accidentally go missing

Medic:

OKTOBERFEST-

quite silly during this time (the horrors have awoken)

totally not wearing one of them nurse costumes that are really provocative for no reason (he is)

helps with Engineer’s little shop of horrors

Heavy and him wear matching costumes

hell yeah

Sniper:

Bro painted his van to look like the Mystery Machine

Why? Funni

He also dresses up as Shaggy

Why? Funni

headcanoning this mf can talk like him PERFECTLY

he mastered it

this is the one night a year he’s social

driving around, parking in some places

being silly and handing out candy to anyone nearby

👍

Spy:

THRILLERRRRRRRR

THRILLER NIGHT-

Bro does not wanna admit it but he FUKING LOVES THE SPOOKY SEASON

’this is silly’ (he is repressing his excitement)

is fond of telling horror stories and scaring the shit out of everyone

Especially Scout (he hates him but- not really)

got his smoking room T-Pd

Scout got chewed out dad-style

#tf2 #team fortress 2 #tf2 scout #scout tf2 #tf2 soldier #soldier tf2 #tf2 pyro #pyro tf2 #tf2 demoman #demoman tf2 #tf2 heavy #heavy tf2 #tf2 engineer #engineer tf2 #tf2 medic #medic tf2 #tf2 sniper #sniper tf2 #tf2 spy #spy tf2 #tf2 headcanons #sorry guys #im just in my element in october #spooky season is the best season #:thumbsup:

[fuctacles]

Henderson's-brother-centered misadventures continue [Part IV]

[Part I] [Part II] [Part III]

Eddie screamed. Then, he screamed some more. Then, he got hit with a teddy bear, which bounced off into the floor, barely disturbing his mane of hair.

“You get a drop of spit on my pillow, and you’re washing all my sheets!”

He groaned, like a wounded animal. If animals could be wounded by their best friend’s disloyalty.

“No, dude! You can scream into your own fucking pillow! We can jam if you need, smoke or steal a beer, hell, I can even listen to you. But don’t just come here to stink my room with-” Gareth made a flapping motion in Eddie’s general direction. “Whatever this is.”

Eddie groaned louder before finally rolling onto his back.

“I fucking hate him.”

“I was hoping you’d choose jamming,” Gareth sighed. He threw his leg over his chair and leaned on the back of it. “You mean Big Bro Henderson?”

“Who else?” Eddie threw his hands up into the ceiling. His friend barely restrained himself from rolling his eyes. “He’s the most annoying person I’ve ever met!”

“Good thing you can’t meet yourself, then.”

Eddie glared at him, but from this angle, it gave him a double chin which severely decreased the look’s efficiency.

“You calling me annoying?”

“Yes.”

“I think the word you’re looking for is ‘lively’. Or ‘charismatic’! Or, or, ‘non-conforming’!”

“No, I’m pretty sure ‘annoying’ is the word. Also, ‘dramatic’.”

Eddie glared again, but since his position has not changed so hasn’t its lack of impact.

“How dare you,” he seethed. Gareth completely ignored it.

“So, what did he do this time? Give you more cookies?”

“No!” He had regretted the decision to tell him about it as soon as it left his mouth, but it was out there now. Well, the price of the blackmail material was listening to it first. “He just…” Eddie trailed off, realizing what he was about to say. ‘He let me sit in his lap for the whole length of Karate Kid’ was so much harder to explain than ‘he gave me an extra cookie for my good work.’ He scrambled to find a better approach. 

“So he’s like a therapy dog,” he started, because painting the scene is important.

“What.”

Wrong approach.

“Okay, so I’ve found out he has some issues, something to do with the Starcourt fire, I think? You know nothing of it, by the way, I probably shouldn't know about it. Henderson, well, the little one, just has a big mouth.”

“And so do you. By telling me,” his friend pointed out.

“Emerson, this isn’t about you,” Eddie scolded him. “So he needs extra physical contact or something. And he might have um…” Wrong turn again. “Engaged me in it?”

“Ok, hold on,” Gareth dropped his forehead on the edge of the chair’s back and rubbed his temples. “What do you mean by that? Because I know it’s not as weird as you make it sound.”

Eddie crossed his arms, which looked extra stupid in his horizontal position. He tapped his socked foot against the mattress.

“We were watching Karate Kid, and the couch wasn’t big enough for four people. Nobody else wanted to sit in his lap and I thought it would be, you know, funny, to offer. And he just said ‘okay’, and did it!” His arms flew up into the air again.

Gareth lifted his head.

“So you sat in his lap.”

“He put me in his lap.”

“Dude, you throw your legs all over me when we watch a movie!”

“Yeah, but that’s different!”

“How?”

“Because we’re friends! We play together and shit!”

Gareth scrunched his nose because while he knew of the wisdom his friend possessed (very selective and rarely occurring in the daylight), admitting him right was painful because the cockiness he possessed was probably far greater.

“Well, maybe he’s giving you signs he wants to be friends?”

Eddie snorted.

"No way. Not possible. No."

"And why is that?" Gareth raised an eyebrow at the adamant negation.

"I'm his younger brother's friend-"

"Who's his age."

"-And we like different things. I'm a freak, I like metal and D&D!"

"So does Dustin, and they get along well."

"They are brothers!" 

"Well, I actually hate my sister, it’s not a rule."

Eddie groaned.

"I don't know," he ended up saying, just to voice his internal frustration. At least he was facing the ceiling now and not Gareth's pillow.

He hummed, considering his friend, trying to understand his problem, to even locate it.

"Okay, so you don't like that he's nice?"

"Yes."

"... You want him to be mean?"

"... Yes? Maybe?"

Gareth hit his head against the chair. 

"This whole conversation is lost on me."

When he looked up he met Eddie's eyes, a storm brewing behind them.

"I don't want to like him. But he makes it hard not to because he's so nice."

‘He treats me like I'm normal, like his equal’, went unspoken but Gareth could hear it anyway. It was time to end the questions for the day because getting any deeper into his friend's psyche could trap him like quicksand. 

"And then I go to apologize and end up talking about BDSM of all things!"

"Nope!" Gareth straightened up and hopped out of his chair. "We're going to the garage, so I can't hear you over the drums."

"What a best friend you are," Eddie grumbled but rolled off the bed regardless. He was secretly glad for an excuse to stop talking about Henderson because he started getting lost in his thoughts and feelings himself.

The next time he sees Steve, he doesn’t make it any easier. They see each other only in passing, and the older brother doesn’t give him more than a weak smile and a "Hi, Eddie. Dustin's upstairs," before leaving.

Eddie walks up to his friend's room thoroughly confused. 

"What was that about?" he asks instead of a greeting. He never greets his friends properly these days, but there are more important things like ‘hi’s and ‘hello’s.

"What was what about?"

"Steve," Eddie frowns like it explains everything. And apparently, it does.

"I think he's still upset after last time."

Eddie blinks.

"I said I was sorry!"

Dustin rolls his eyes.

"Sorry doesn't solve everything. It's like a," he snaps his fingers looking for a good comparison. "Like one of the spell components. It's not gonna work without all of them."

Guess he is casting Charm Person after all.

"Okay, but like. What are the other components?"

Dustin just shrugs.

"Hell if I know."

Eddie was burdened with the most unhelpful friends. 

"What do you do when you upset him?"

Dustin's first instinct is to protest, probably point out what a great little brother he is, but one stern look from Eddie makes him shut his mouth and reconsider his words.

"Well, if I made him upset, I'd help him with dinner, make him coffee or tea, pick a movie I know he'd like. Help out with chores, mostly. He does too much by himself." The frown on his face is deep like the mystery of Steve's adoption and Eddie mirrors it.

"This sounds all great when you're brothers, but I'm not a Henderson, how am I supposed to pull that off?

"You helped with dinner once, you could do it again," 

Eddie sighs, long and suffering.

"I guess…"

"Great! Steve has left to get groceries and is making dinner later, I'm sure he'll appreciate the help!" He grins, knowing full well he just backed his friend into a corner.

Eddie sputters when he realizes that. 

“What? Today?”

“No better time than the present.” Dustin shrugs smugly, like it was a universal law they can’t help but follow.

Eddie bristles, because, yeah, true, but…

“I'm not mentally prepared," he complains. 

"For what?" Dustin raises his brows in this annoying way of his. "Cooking?"

"You ate my mac and cheese, you understand the severity of the situation!" he yells, accusingly pointing a finger at him.

"Ate is a big word, I spat it out. And calling it mac and cheese is also a big word."

"Exactly!" Usually Eddie didn't like his abilities slandered like that but on the rare occasion when it served his purpose… 

"Steve's first casserole was also inedible," Dustin shrugs and Eddie tries to picture Mr. Perfect Housewife fucking up a dish. "You have about an hour to mentally prepare before he's back though. You can spend it finishing your readings."

Ah, right. The mundane purpose of his visit was schoolwork.

Eddie groans. He can only hope the tragic stories of holocaust victims will set him in the right mind for cooking with Steve.

They don’t. He's heavily unprepared for the confrontation when they're running down the stairs to help with the bags. 

When Steve's instructing them which things he needs and which can be put away, Dustin elbows his friend in the ribs, hard. He hisses in pain, attracting Steve's attention.

"You staying for dinner?" he asks before Eddie can say anything. 

"Uh, if I can help with it, then yeah," he says, feeling Dustin’s annoying beady eyes on himself.

Steve frowns at him.

"You don't have to do that, I’ve told you before."

"Yeah, but I'm done with my work for today," Eddie adds under the menacing gaze. "And my cooking skills need some guidance. Wayne is too old to stomach my food, he can't risk another food poisoning,” he babbles, earning himself a snort from Steve. 

“Okay, if it's that bad,” he agrees finally,  the smile Eddie has gotten used to once again on his face. "But you'll be under strict supervision."

"Of course!"

"Okay, you already got yourself a kitchen slave, so I can go finish my work," Dustin speaks up before promptly disappearing, only the sound of his rushed retreating steps left.

"Guess we're alone then," Steve comments, giving Eddie an odd look. He thought he was used to those but Steve's were always hard to decipher. Not the exact kind he usually got.

He clears his throat to dislodge the weird feeling clogging it up.

"So, what are we cooking today?"

Steve hums, looking at the ingredients before him.

"You ever cooked soup?"

"Uh, I assume you don't mean the instant kind?"

Steve makes a disgusted face, fake gags for a good measure too.

"Soup it is then. It's getting colder, and I'm sure Wayne would appreciate it," he says, eyeing Eddie questioningly, and this one he deciphers easily.

"My uncle,” he explains. "I live with him."

To his surprise, Steve smiles warmly.

"Wanna make some extra you can heat up for him?"

"That's-" Eddie's taken aback, which doesn't happen to him often. "That would be very nice, thank you."

"It’s nothing. He should know his nephew is spending his time productively."

"I'm always productive," he mutters back a complete lie. But he's been trying, okay?

"I know," Steve says, surprising him again. "Maybe I want to get on your uncle's good side too."

Eddie doesn't ask why. Doesn't want to know. Doesn't speculate. Just leaves it be, bugging him for the time being.

"I was thinking fritters too? Since they're easy to heat up later."

Eddie nods, watching him sort through the vegetables.

"Whatever you say, chef."

Steve instructs him through the soup preparations first, explaining it needs more time to cook. 

“I hope you don’t mind veggie broth. El didn’t like chicken and we kinda got used to it. Also, it’s cheaper,” he says, watching Eddie pour water over the vegetables arranged in the pot. 

He puts the pot on the burner and looks up.

"Who's El?"

"Dustin's friend. She moved to California though," Steve answers with a frown.

"That's a bit of a drive."

"Yeah," Steve scrunches his nose, then looks back into the pot, before reaching for a box of seasoning.

"Ok, now for the fun part."

Eddie has no idea how seasoning a pot of vegetable water can be fun, but he's not about to argue. He follows instructions and marvels at the amount of weird plants that could be added to food. 

"I feel like a witch," he whispers, tossing dried herbs into his cauldron.

Steve chuckles.

"You kinda look like one."

Eddie side-eyes him from his position over the pot.

"I hope that's a compliment."

"Oh, it is," Steve says in a weird voice and Eddie is too afraid to look at him. He flips through the seasoning packets instead, reading unfamiliar names.

"Okay, so this needs a couple of hours to cook, you'll know when it starts getting together from the smell. Then we'll blanche the onions and garlic, add the tomatoes, blend it all, and it's done. Now we can work on the fritters. Have you done them before?"

Eddie thinks about it for a moment.

"I saw my uncle make them."

"Potato ones?"

"Uh, yeah? Are there more options?" he asks, eyebrows drawn together.

"Apparently, yeah,” Steve rolls his eyes. “A fritter is technically anything you can grate, slap together and fry in a pancake-ish shape."

"Huh. I've learned so much today already."

Steve laughs. 

"So, what do you want in the fritters?" he asks and Eddie is ridiculously giddy about having a choice.

"Can we put meat in them?"

"Yeah, I've made them with bacon before."

Eddie's eyes sparkle.

"Potatoes with bacon and cheese?"

"Holy shit,” Steve groans. “Claudia's gonna kill us, but it sounds so good." He ponders on it for a moment. "We could add corn to pretend there are vegetables in them."

"Ketchup is a vegetable," Eddie points out and Steve bristles. 

"We're not eating them with ketchup!" he protests. "But… we could use some of the tomatoes to make a sauce."

Eddie never thought cooking could be this fun.

"Yesss!"

"You're way more excited than I thought you'd be," Steve observes, grabbing the potatoes to wash.

"I'm a growing boy, of course I'm excited about food. Besides, we're like two alchemists; mixing up stuff to make other stuff."

Steve laughs again.

"Are those the guys who tried turning metals into gold?"

"Precisely!"

He's tasked with peeling the potatoes while Steve puts bacon in the oven. He’s  never good at it, and he huffs angrily when Steve joins him and gets through three potatoes while he peels one. What's worse, he can see him watching and his fingers twitching.

"Okay, I can see you itching to correct me. Just do it."

"You sure?"

"Yeah man, unless you have some disease I could catch, I'll be fine."

Steve winces and Eddie has a lightning-fast memory of a rumour that gays spread a deadly disease. But Steve isn't gay, probably, and it's just a rumour.

Steve is still haste when he rearranges his fingers on the peeler and takes his hand away like touching him burns.

Eddie frowns. Well, that's not gonna cut it.

"Like this?" he asks, making a motion he knows is wrong.

"No, like-" Steve reaches out and hesitates. 

"I don't have cooties, come on."

Steve presses his lips together and wraps his hand around his. He has to move closer too, crowding Eddie's side. 

"Like this," he says, whispers really, pushing his hand in the right motion.

This suddenly feels more obscene than it is, but Eddie’s half tempted to push it further.

"Your hands are weirdly soft. Do you steal Robin's hand cream?" he asks instead.

Steve huffs at the backhanded compliment and retraces his soft, big hands.

"No, I have my own."

"Hmm." Eddie cocks his head, looking him up and down. "Should have guessed."

"What is that supposed to mean?" Steve asks with a frown, but he can tell the anger is played up. 

"Nothing," Eddie shrugs. "You just look like someone taking care of himself." 

Steve keeps looking at him like he is not sure if he should be offended or not so Eddie helps him out by rolling his eyes. 

“Don't worry, I judge you more for your music than your hygiene.”

“Of course,” Steve huffs. “You wouldn't know much about hygiene anyway, would you?” he teases with a smirk.

Eddie gasps.

“Are you implying trailer trash don't clean themselves?” he asks, eyes wide and offended. 

“What? No!” The smile vanishes instantly from his face. “Of course not!” Steve scrambles to defend himself. But then, he cocks his hip and crosses his arms.

“You know what? No. I stand by it. Your hair needs proper care, not whatever 3 in 1 you treat it with,” he says. 

“5 in 1,” Eddie corrects him smugly. 

“Five?”

“Hair, body, face, beard and ass,” he lists on his fingers, earning himself a look of disgust from Steve. 

“For that alone, you’re washing your hands again.”

Eddie knows he doesn't have to, but complies anyway. Whatever makes the big Henderson happy. And consecutively, the little Henderson. And somehow, Eddie himself.

By the time the sun starts setting, he’s gained some valuable culinary knowledge, including the fact that as a cook, he gets to taste the dishes all the time. His growing boy tummy is satiated with a stolen strip of bacon and one of the test fritters he’s munching on, when they hear the door unlock.

“I’m home!” a woman’s voice calls out. Eddie freezes.

“We’re just finishing dinner!” Steve calls back while the man next to him shrinks on himself, looking up at him and wondering why he isn’t being pushed into a closet like a secret paramour. 

“Your mom is here?!” he seethes through his teeth, eyes jumping from Steve to the door. 

“Well, yeah?” Steve raises an eyebrow. “She lives here?” 

“But why am I here?!”

Was Steve this stupid or did he not grasp the severity of the situation?

“You’re cooking? Staying for dinner? Studying? The fuck do you mean man?” he answers, more or less matching his volume.

“Mothers hate me!” Eddie reminds him helpfully, making Steve only roll his eyes with a huff.

“Claudia likes you.”

“She never saw me,” he reminds him. Because as soon as any of the suburban moms caught a whiff of his metal vest, his dark clothes and long hair, he felt disgusted eyes on his back. 

And when the Satanist drug dealer rumours reach them? Things only get worse. 

“Dude-”

“Oh, hi boys!” A tired-looking blond woman enters the kitchen. Her smile doesn’t waver despite Eddie’s presence, meaning she must have seen some shit in her life. “You didn’t tell me we’ll have a guest today.”

Steve steps in before he can put his foot in his mouth, laying his big warm hand on his shoulder. 

“Eddie finished his work early and wanted to help in the kitchen. Hope that’s alright.”

At the mere thought it wouldn’t be, Eddie’s stomach twisted. 

“Of course! The more, the merrier!” Claudia smiled, still seemingly genuine, before stepping closer and extending her hand.

“Nice to finally meet you, Eddie. I’ve heard a lot about you from my boys.”

Steve’s hand is still on him squeezing minutely to remind him to shake Claudia’s hand.

“Likewise.” He smiles to his best ability, unable to remember the last time he was friendly with someone's parents. Except Gareth's, maybe.

“What did boys make?” she asks, sniffing the air and trying to peek over his shoulder.

“Tomato soup, like you asked, and some fritters.”

“With veggies, I hope?” She squints at her oldest (newest?) son.

“There’s corn in them, and we made a tomato sauce.” He smiled brightly and Eddie could tell he was happy to play the good kid role. 

“Good. I’m gonna change and get back to you,” she says before disappearing upstairs, probably to harass the younger Henderson now. 

“Why was she so nice?” Eddie muses, half to Steve, half to himself, half to the universe in general. Wait, that's three halves. Well, he didn’t fail school because of his great math skills.

“She's always nice.” Steve steps away to work on the next batch of fritters.

“Not to me! Mothers hate me! I bet she’s just pretending but as soon as I disappear, you're gonna hear all about it!”

“Hey!” Steve turns back towards him, frowning. And uh-oh, he upset him again. On his reverse-upset mission. “Claudia’s not some uptight bitch like that. She likes all our friends and you're not an exception. Just because you dress differently isn’t gonna ban you from the house or get us in trouble.” He knocks him on the head for good measure. “You’re safe here.”

“Okay,” Eddie simply says, taken aback. Being welcomed somewhere was a feeling he still had to process.

“We're safe here,” was a soft addition he almost missed over his own loud thoughts but made him even more curious about Steve himself. 

User tags: @i-have-three-feelings @mblogs @awkwardgravity1 @imacowboy3 @just-a-tiny-void @clumsiluni @shotgunhallelujah @halfadoginatank @carlprocastinator1000 @irregular-child

#steddie #eddie munson #steve harrington #stranger things #mine #ff #st #stranger things 4 #steddie fanfiction #steve henderson #the hendersons

[deadpoolsoci3ty]

so you're the a (alastor x reader) ch 5

summary: I just wanted him to tell me we were okay. Was it over? Just like that? Would I ever get to hear from him again?

word count: 1211

warnings: none

masterlist

(a/n this is all i have for now but ill post another chapter soon)

Chapter Five: out of breath

It has been three days since I talked to Alastor. Every day I’ve tried to contact him and he won’t answer. I didn’t even do anything wrong, he was the one who decided to confess his feelings, and now he’s ignoring me? That’s fucking unfair. He makes me fall for him and he runs away. I grabbed the radio for the second time today. “Alastor, please…” I just wanted him to tell me we were okay. Was it over? Just like that? Would I ever get to hear from him again? I had never been upset at him before, but at this moment I wanted to strangle him. I waited for a few minutes to see if he would come, but he didn’t. 

I knew that I needed to do something to get my mind off of Alastor and whatever he was doing. I decided to get changed into outside clothes and take a walk to the Dunkin’ Donuts near my apartment to get a drink. I grab my headphones and my coat before I make my way out of the door. It was still chilly here in Chicago and the wind was blowing my scarf away from my neck. I was trying to fix it as I crossed the intersection. I didn’t even see the car coming, but I definitely felt the impact. 

The car ran a stop sign. I had barely left my house. When it hit me it was the most painful thing I’d ever experienced, but now as I’m lying on the street looking up at the sky I can’t feel any of that pain anymore. I’m sure that I’m dying, and all I can think about is that I never made a deal with Alastor. What was going to happen to me now? Am I going to end up in hell? Would I ever be able to find him? A group of pedestrians surrounded my soon-to-be lifeless body, several of them were on the phone, and I could only assume they were calling 911. I knew that I wasn’t going to survive this, breathing was too hard, I could feel the coolness of my blood beneath me, and I knew in my bones that my life was over. It was finally setting in as tears welled in my eyes, I had so much I wanted to do. I had plans to go to graduate school, move to New York and work in publishing. Now, I’m dying and I get to do none of that. All my friends here are going to lose me and I’m going to lose them. What about my parents? They live so far away, and they’re about to find out that I’m dead. My poor mother. I remember hearing the sirens, but they weren’t very close before I was gone. 

It was quiet for a few moments, and dark, like I was floating in a vacuum. Then it felt like I was awaking from a deep sleep, I began to feel the ground beneath me. It wasn’t the rough pavement I was on before, but now it felt more like dirt. I slowly opened my eyes and started to look around, everything was covered in some sort of maroon haze. I looked down at my hands and they’re pointer than they used to be. My skin is now a light greyish, but I still have the same hair. I run my tongue over my teeth and they’re sharper as well. The city surrounding me didn’t look much different than most cities I had seen in my life, but I could hear screams echoing all around me. I gathered myself and gently stood up. This definitely wasn’t heaven, which could only mean that I had ended up in hell. Once I had gotten to my feet I started stumbling around trying to find my balance, and when I did I started walking. I found my way to the side of a building so I could lean on it. I was trying to keep my cool because if I didn’t I’m sure I would join the chorus of screams around me. I took a deep breath and found the street in front of the building, and I’m sure everyone around me could see the visible confusion painted all over my face. There were shops and restaurants lining the streets and the people that lived here seemed like they were happily living their lives. I looked over the roofs towards the skyline where there was a large clock in the center of the city. It was too far away for me to be able to read what it said. 

Once I got a grasp on my bearings there was only one thing I could think about, how was I going to find Alastor. Looking over the buildings once again and I see a shabby looking shack with an unlight sign but I can see that and it says ‘on air’. If Alastor was going to be anywhere it would be there. I slowly but surely make my way to the tower, and before I walk my ass up to the door and knock on it I take another deep breath. I had never seen Alastor before, the only thing I knew about him physically was what his voice sounded like and it was enough for me to feel the way I do, so I’m not sure what he looks like will affect how I feel about him. Forcing my legs one after another to make my way to the door, and knock on it. I wait for a beat before knocking again, making sure whoever is in there definitely heard me. My hands were shaking and I was beginning to lose my courage, but I heard footsteps making their way towards the door. This was it, the last moments before I (hopefully) came face to face with Alastor. The footsteps were getting close. What if I just walked away? He had done it to me. I saw the door knob turn. I’m about to shit my pants, I’ve never been this anxious before. The door swung open, and I saw a tall man with large red ears atop his head accompanied by shoulder length cherry red hair. The blazer he was wearing was well tailored, but it had tears and holes in it. He carried with him a staff that looked like some sort of microphone. The demon spoke, “Hello!~ Alastor…” I know he continued to speak because I could see his mouth moving but once I heard that name my ears started ringing so loudly that was the only thing I could hear, I was hyperventilating and just couldn’t seem to catch my breath. He seemed to recognize what was happening with me and snapped his fingers in front of my face, “Dear, I don’t enjoy being interrupted or ignored. I asked what you are doing at my front door?” My first thought was how upset I was that I wasn’t the only person he uses pet names with. Whatever, that's a different conversation.

“Alastor, it’s me!” I couldn’t think of another way to make him realize who I was.

“I do not know yo-” he cut himself off a moment after he started speaking, “Sweetheart?”

#alastor #alastor the radio demon #hazbin hotel #alastor hazbin hotel #alastor x reader #alastor x you #alastor imagine #hazbin imagine #hazbin x reader #hazbin fic #hazbin hotel x reader #hazbin hotel imagine #hazbin hotel fic

[azeretha]

In the middle of the night

Word count: 1368

He didn't know how to proceed. It was already night and he had been staring at papers and evidence for several hours. It was already painful to hold his wings upright. His mate was sleeping in the next room and all he wanted to do was go lay down next to her and cuddle with her. Or maybe he would wake her up the way she likes. Gods, there were so many things he would rather be doing than what he was doing now.

"Why are not you sleeping?" he turned his head and saw his intelligent, brave, clever and of course beautiful mate standing and leaning against the door frame. Her beautiful long hair was in a bun and she also had a headband that kept all her hair out of her face. Her eyes watched him with a reprimanding look and her body. That body. Her arms were crossed and her fingernails were painted with dark blue nail polish, one of her small signs of rebellion against society and the dress code. She was wearing his black sleeping tunic and loose pants.

"All the clothes you're wearing right now are mine," he said with one corner of his lips up.

She rolled her eyes. How he adored it when she did it. "Since my dear friend prefers to spend his time with peppers, I have to find something that will hug me at least a little while I sleep," he just spread his arms in response and his companion made her way to him.

She sat on his lap and he wrapped his huge arms around her and rested his head on her shoulder. She smelled like lavender. "I'm sorry, beautiful. I just don't know how to move forward in this case. It doesn't make sense," she looked into his eyes. He showed her everything in them. Fatigue, what he felt for her and also where he would rather be. Sighing, she looked back at the papers.

"So what do we know?"

"We know?" he asked. He loved it when she said that. They were a team and they were equal.

And so he began to explain everything to her. Who. Why. What he figured out and what he didn't understand. During that time, she listened and made them coffee.

They spent hours on it. Papers were everywhere. On the couch. On the table. Even on the walls. The whole room turned into a research zone.

"It's the wife!" his chosen one screamed.

He looked at her with raised eyebrows. "How did you find out?"

She started to explain to him how she came up with it. She was running around the room and he was listening and watching her. When she finished, she turned to him and waited for his reaction.

He watched her in dumb amazement and didn't know which part of her to focus on "Why are wives so clever?"

"Because our partners will search us," she replied confidently.

"Because our husbands don't pay attention to us," she answered confidently.

Azriel stood up with all his confidence and arrogance. He approached her thoughtfully until he came to her. She didn't back down. She never backed down. “This husband and mate don't. This one admires his wife and mate and will adore her more than she can handle.”

She took a step closer to him and looked confidently into his eyes. "She can handle a lot. More than he could possibly imagine."

He took the headband off her head and let down her beautiful hair. He put them away from her right shoulder and whispered in her ear “Many people have told him that he has a great imagination. And also that he is very creative," he rolled up his tunic with his hands and pulled her close.

"Does he have any references? ,” her voice cracked. He kept hugging her hips with his hands and slowly kissed her neck.

He rolled up the tunic slowly but surely. He moved tunic from her hips to her waist until it reached the sides of her breasts. "Beauty raise your hands," she raised. The tunic fell to the ground. He looked at the woman he belonged to. Her head was proudly held high and her chin up. The long neck was a huge attraction for him. He spent hours there, hidden from the world. And then the breasts. Flat stomach and hips on which his pants barely held. He went back to those eyes. They stood there now facing each other like two rivals. Both of them were naked from the waist up and neither of them moved. They were both more than competitive.

"Together?" she asked him in that husky voice.

At the same moment, they rushed towards each other. They kissed as if they hadn't seen each other for months. Azriel picked her up and she wrapped her legs around his waist. He was holding her back and she was focusing on his neck. She was leaving marks that he belonged only to her and he adored it.

Slowly and as gently as he could, he laid her down on the carpet. "What reward does my wife want for being so intelligent?"She started pulling his pants down with her feet. "I understand." He watched her all the time and made sure to be attentive.

When he opened his eyes, he was instantly blinded by the light. At that moment, his brain started receiving stimuli. Undrawn curtains. His mate lying next to him with her bare back and hair in all directions. She was breathing calmly, which symbolized that she was still asleep. And pounding on the door. Who would… Cassian. Training. He is going to kill him.

He stood up and couldn't find his pants. And so, out of the decency that he managed to muster, he took the blanket that was thrown over the chair and wrapped it around his waist. The closer he got to the door, the more he wanted to kill his brother and make sure his body would never be found again. However, he would not want to face Nesta, so he threw this idea into the trash in his mind. He opened the door and there he stood before him. "What do you want?"

"Why didn't you come to training?" direct question.

"Because I was asleep," direct answer.

"That's what I thought when I look at you now. And why did you fall asleep?" he would like to knock that crooked smile off his face if his wife did not appear before him.

"What you want?" she looked more bored than when he once took her to practice. Right after the training, she declared to him that her weapon will remain her brain and the ability to smile at people she would rather throw into the nearest lake.

"Your dear, he didn't come to training so I came to make sure he's alright. And it looks like he is,” Azriel's thoughts about his brother's death drifted back to the main goals of the day.

His dear took a long breath and kept staring at Cassian “And?”

"And? Do you know what will happen to his body?” Cassian and his bullshit.

She looked at Azriel and he wrapped an arm around her waist in support. "Not much. But you will definitely be happy to tell me."

Cassian started throwing his arms around and she just watched him. "His body…"

"I'll stop you here. The body we're talking about and can look at is in perfect shape and it's partly thanks to me. So now this is what happens. I'll slam the door on your face and then I and my mate will be locked in this apartment for several hours. Maybe days. And this," she gave him all the documents for the work we did during the night. "You can take it to your friend Rhysand when you're so active. We will be very grateful to you. And now excuse us," she slammed the door in his face as she promised and turned back to her lover.

He gave her a proud smile. "Bed or carpet?"

"The wall."

Gods, how he loved her.

#azriel x reader #acotar #azriel shadowsinger #fanfic

[sweatytimetravelearthquake]

How to kill your husband

---------------------------

Warning: there are scenes of domestic violence, murder scenes, blood. 18+

---------------------------

It was a very sweet relationship at first, but Sanzu started picking on you and your surroundings. He started forbidding you to communicate with other guys. You violated the ban by going with your best friend from university when Haruchiye saw this. He roughly dragged you into the car, drove off a long time ago, picking up speed. When he brought you home, he beat you, not being shy in his expressions, showing his disgust. After several such cases, you decided to break up with him, but he only got even more angry. A strong slap in the face made you fall, and then he grabbed your silky hair, it seemed that he would pull it out.

"You'll find out how to want to break up with me, bitch!"

"But for what? .. You stopped loving me yourself! Let go!" — The neighbors don't care. Everyone knew the pink-haired man's connections, no one could dare to help you with this relationship. The guy got angry and hit the corner of the table, which could have ended in death, but he knew how to count the force. Your blood was running down your temple, and your whole body was buzzing. He pushes you, and then comes closer, putting his hands, which breathed tobacco on your neck. Haruchie squeezes them on your throat, the smell of alcohol comes from him, and you were sure that in addition to alcohol, he sniffed out two tracks.

"You have no right not to love me.. If you don't like it, I'll make you start."

"I hate you..."

"Don't you dare talk to me like that!" — Pushes you away, and then squeezes your hands, trying to twist them behind your back. Your resistance irritates Sanza, and he hits you with his hand in a rage: you fall to the floor and remain lying there, cowering in pain and horror. He's standing on top of you, looking at you with disdain. All you can do is keep quiet, feeling like you're about to lose consciousness. — "I'll go, don't fucking enter my office" — you clearly knew that another prostitute would come to him soon, he would cheat right in front of your eyes.

Sanzu has never loved you. Taking his loyalty to Manjiro, it was fashionable to conclude that he was very loyal only to someone he truly loved. And I only kept you around out of a sense of possessiveness. You feel sick. Your whole body hurts and your limbs are shaking. The moans of that dyed blonde are heard, all the hatred for both people is felt, but that girl is not to blame. But you didn't give a damn about her, you have the right to hate everyone, hate Sanza, hate all his whores, hate Sano, who founded this Bonten, hate the damn Haitani, Haruchiyo's friends. You get up on shaky legs and take a knife from the bedside table. It's time to end this all. The door to his office opens, you see how he pushes a girl you don't know into the table with sharp thrusts. He doesn't hear you coming at him, stops only when you stick a knife in his back. A man's blood drips onto the prostitute's stomach, causing her to scream. With sharp movements, you make the wound deeper, long and pulls out the blade. He can barely stand on his feet, turns around, and for the first time fear and pain are visible in his face. This is the first time you've seen them. It's like being on powerful drugs. You push him and stick the knife in again and again, piercing his stomach and chest. Hot scarlet liquid stains the table, you, the girl whose throat you cut, that scum screamed painfully. Sanzu is still living out his last seconds. Your hand slides right into the wound on his stomach, rips off his kidney and puts it in his mouth. There is a stench of various liquids, and the painting makes you want to vomit. Your boyfriend is already dead, lying on the floor, naked, laid out girl on the table.

#tokyo revengers × reader #tokrev #tokyo revengers #sanzu haruchiyo #tokyo revengers sanzu #sanzu x reader #akashi haruchiyo #tokyo revengers haruchiyo sanzu #haruchiyo sanzu x reader

[jessicas-pi]

📔

Ooooh.... Here's a crack AU I made up ages ago!

So, in this AU, when Ezra was young (like... three, maybe,) there was an accident and his parents were killed. And something happened in that accident that revealed he was Force-sensitive. He was brought to Vader, and Vader sees this child—small, but VERY Force-sensitive, and born almost the exact same day Padme died—and his reaction is just, "SON?????"

So... Ezra grows up believing that Vader is his dad.

Anyway, several years pass. Ezra is about twelve now, and he gets his first mission.

It's on Mandalore.

One of the instructors there is beginning to suspect that Sabine Wren is considering treason. Ezra is sent there, disguised as a new student, to "befriend" Sabine and discover if this is true. It backfires spectacularly!

Ezra decides that Sabine is The Coolest Ever, Actually, and sticks to her like a barnacle. They run away from the Academy together (though Ezra does leave a voicemail for Vader telling him everything is OK. He just doesn't want his dad to worry!)

Ezra says he'd like to go live quietly on Lothal (he doesn't remember it's his home, but something about the name sounds Familiar and Good), but Sabine doesn't want to. She says she'll drop him off and then she'll go and be a bounty hunter, but Ezra, who REALLY doesn't want to lose his new bestie, insists that he could be her bounty hunter apprentice. He's, like, really good at being an apprentice. Honest.

Sabine kind of has it in mind that he's this pathetic kid that she needed to babysit and rescue from the Empire (she doesn't know who he really is; Ezra honestly just forgot to ever mention it), but he convinces her to give it a shot.

So, here's the thing. Ezra was raised by Darth Vader, and though he's not actively evil, Ezra's moral compass is a pinwheel and in his mind, the only reason to not do something is if either Vader or Sabine have specifically said Ezra No That's Bad.

After a lot of bad luck, they finally get a bounty puck, and set off to bring the person in. They get to the planet, and Sabine suggests they split up, because she thinks she'll catch the bounty much faster on her own.

She doesn't.

By the time she realizes she needs to follow the sound of people screaming and running, Ezra has already located, ambushed, and messily dismembered the bounty.

"Did I do good?" Ezra asks eagerly.

Sabine quickly switches mindsets from I have to keep this kid from getting himself killed to I have to keep this kid from having a villain arc.

"Um, are you okay?" Ezra asks. "You look kind of weird."

"I'm fine," Sabine says, smiling nervously. "Y'know, maybe we should just go live quietly on Lothal or something."

As it turns out, "living quietly on Lothal" is fun for about a month (which is how long it takes Sabine to paint the entire inside of the comm tower they've claimed as their headquarters, install bunk beds, dye Ezra's hair, and make mini cardboard mandalorian helmets for the two Loth-cats he brought home.) Then boredom sets in, and Sabine takes to vandalism. Ezra goes with her. He thinks it's almost as fun as bounty hunting.

Ezra also spends time exploring the Force. He's been trained in the Dark side but the peacefulness of Lothal starts to draw him towards the Light. He starts to find an equilibrium.

Sabine and Ezra have the time of their lives.

Then, one afternoon, about a year later, when Sabine and Ezra are working on an art project, Darth Vader barges into the comm tower and demands, "Do you have any idea how much trouble you're in, young man?!"

"Aww, Dad!" Ezra whines. "You never let me do anything!"

In hindsight, Sabine thinks, that explains a lot.

#that's all I have solidly worked out but I have this vague idea of sabine and ezra semi-kidnapping vader so he doesn't ruin their fun #and then the spectres come along and sabine and ezra join them and drag darth vader along #and vader accidentally joins the rebellion #thank you for the ask!! #and sorry it's taking me so long to get around to these! #star wars #star wars rebels #inquisitor ezra bridger #ezra bridger #sabine wren

[captain-pheonix]

Blu scout and red sniper getting into a fight on the battlefield, but its just insanely homosexual?

A/N: Yes!!! Thank you sending this in 🤣 also sorry it took so long life has been busy plus I got a million bouts of writers block trying to finish this 😞

Caught ya.

Sniperscout/speeding bullet Oneshot (Scout x Sniper)

Warnings: Maybe a teeny eeny bit suggestive? Blood, knives, death before respawn, yelling if that’s triggering, Scout and Sniper beating each other up

Sniper could hear bullets firing and loud screams from every direction. He had just respawned from the other Soldier killing him for the fourth time. He seemed to have been getting targeted recently.

“Bugger.” He grumbled under his breath. He stepped out of spawn and he heard calls for help coming from the right of him. Sniper ran and started fumbling down the staircase to intel as fast as he could. He lifted his rifle to his face and looked out the scope rounding the corner, but his field of view was instantly splattered with red. He could hear blood-curdling screams of pain and familiar laughter. Sniper froze up. The Scout had been cackling like a hyena, dominating him at least once in every battle for the past week. What did he find so funny? Whatever the reason for this sudden interest, Sniper wanted to know before he personally assassinated him when the battle was over.

The Australian threw his gun to the ground, but he couldn’t manage to get his Kukri before the Scout knocked him hard against the back wall, aiming straight at his head.

“Ha. Maybe I should be your new Sniper. Your aim is TERRIBLE!” The Scout chuckled, then everything faded to black.

The familiar clicking noise, and Sniper was thrown back into spawn once again. He had to come up with a strategy, or nothing would get done this battle.

He began thinking before leaving spawn. The administrator sounded over the speakers: “Your intelligence has been dropped.” Sniper knew one thing: the Scout was going to come back to get the case when he respawned. If he could ambush him before he got there, he might have a chance.

Sniper headed to the intel room and waited around the corner.

Some time had passed and he was starting to wonder if he should just give up sitting there. Then, he heard the fast pattering of footsteps echo through the rock and concrete walls.

Sniper pounced at the Scout’s legs as soon as he rounded the corner, intel falling off his back and knocking them both to the cold floor.

“CAUGHT YA, YA LIL’ PRUDE!” Sniper shouted aggressively. He looked at the scout squirm for a moment caught under his grip like a wild animal. Then he just stopped.

“Fine, hot stuff, you win.” The Bostonian looked at Sniper and made eye contact. His face had a cheeky and sly expression on it, despite him being extremely red in the face. Was that just Exertion? What was going on? It seemed like he wanted to be caught.

“What’d’ya want from me!?” Sniper asked him. “Because I’m gonna—“ Scout cut him off with a sharp blow to the face. Sniper was knocked into the ground in pain, and Scout was kneeling over him, giving him several more weaker punches. His blue shirt getting slowly more painted in Sniper’s blood.

Sniper snatched his Kukri and slashed it across the BLU Scout’s face. He let out a high pitched yell, and Sniper took the chance to push him into the wall, pinning the smaller man down again.

Scout opened his eyes to find Sniper’s sweltering angry face, which he only smiled back at.

“Oh, you’re smilin’ now? Think that’s funny?” Sniper muttered.

“Nope. I think it’s super terrifying…in a hot way.”

“WHAT!? WHAT THE BLOODY HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?”

Scout managed to shimmy his hand out of Sniper’s, and he brushed it under his chin before kangaroo punching the Australian down to the ground with his leg. Now it was Scout’s turn to pin him down. His Kukri was just out of reach, but it didn’t stop Sniper from trying to grab it.

“Quit wigglin’, already.” Scout smiled down at him.

“Agh. You bloody—“ Sniper was cut off by Scout leaning down to kiss him on the cheek.

“Been trying ‘ta get your attention all week. Don’t lie, I’ve seen how you look when you’re about to shoot me. You get all red and you have a hard time aiming for me? Sound familiar?”

Sniper broke eye contact, embarrassed.

“An’ when my other teammates a’ there, you always go for them first. I’ve noticed a little pattern with you, Snipes.”

Sniper was dead silent. Now it was his turn to become beat red. “…fine. Maybe I don’t wanna shoot someone who isn’t as much of a maniac as everyone else in this dump.”

“When we met at the bar, I might’ve got a tiny hallway crush too…” Scout looked at him, confident but red enough to explode.

Sniper pulled him into a kiss. Something Sniper could’ve only dreamed of. He reached up to hold his waist. Scout’s hand drifted up to rest on Sniper’s face.

A gunshot shot out one of the security cameras from their right, breaking the kiss.

One of the team’s spies re-cloaked and ran out of the room.

————————

Haha hopefully that was gay enough. I do in fact love writing gay little men. Thanks for sending this in! 😂 and thanks for reading, dear viewer!

#team fortress two #tf2 #scout tf2 #tf2 scout #sniper tf2 #scout x sniper #sniperscout #speeding bullet #tf2 fanfiction

[youwouldntlietopapa]

prompt maybe?: copia after a heartbreak (he managed to work up the courage to ask his crush out after a long time pinging as one does, but they refused rather rudely) (optional fluff of him getting comforted by a third party maybe to soothe all our hearts later)

All right, I may have taken some liberties with this one because I had an idea. Anyway, I hope this is all right.

Includes: Heartbreak, heart to heart conversation, hurt/comfort, Papa Emeritus II/Secondo, Cardinal Copia

____________________________________________________________

Secondo moved through the dimly lit archives like a spectre. Something about breaking the quiet of the space always made him feel deeply uncomfortable. He much preferred the peaceful stillness and, more importantly, that he was commonly the only one there on the occasions he needed something.

Sniff, sniff.

His eye twitched at the sound and his mouth tightened. Apparently he wasn’t so lucky and someone else was hidden among the shelves. Sniffling. He set his jaw and tried to ignore it. But there it was again.

Sniff, sniff.

Punctuated by a tiny whimper. Secondo sighed heavily and closed his eyes. Why me, my dark lord? Why me? Someone was crying in the archives and his first thought was that the records he needed couldn’t possibly be important enough to be worth risking running into a crying sibling, much less have to be… comforting. That was Primo’s talent. Or Terzo, in a pinch. Not his.

And then he heard a familiar voice. Soft and shaky, from what he could gather, it sounded like part prayer and part self-chastisement. Fanculo la mia vita. Somehow this was much worse than bumping into a crying Sibling. He’d managed to bump into one of his crying siblings.

“Copia.” His deep voice echoed off the stone walls and ceiling, unmistakable. There was a rushed, slightly panicked noise from several rows down while, presumably, his youngest brother trying to clean himself up. Secondo walked toward the noise, forgetting the silence, and letting his shoes tap on the floor to let him have some idea where he was and that he was coming.

“Papa! Forgive me!” He hurried to apologise, jumping up from his hiding spot and desperately trying to look like less of a mess. “I didn’t hear you come in. D-do you need help finding things?”

He looked at him with an expression that all but screamed bullshit. “Your paints are running, fratello.”

Copia’s chin quivered and he sniffled again. His shoulders slumped and he buried his face in his hands, crying softly. The urge to run while he wasn’t looking was almost overwhelming, but Secondo stood firm. He really did need to make some very impressive sacrifices at the alter, it this was a sign of anything. Apparently he’d managed to fuck up royally without realising and this was a punishment.

His silence dragged on longer than was, strictly speaking, socially acceptable. Not that Copia seemed to notice. Lost in whatever the problem was. Finally, he gave in. “What has upset you, Copia?”

Even he winced at how it came out sounding. Where in all the pits of hell was Primo? Maybe he could just… push the Cardinal to his brother’s office? Or carry him. He didn’t look all that heavy. And he definitely didn’t look like much of a fighter. His thoughts, however, were interrupted before he could settle on which would be the simplest option.

“I’m s-sorry, Papa. It’s nothing. Really. Just… just being f-f-foolish…” The last word turned into another round of sobs. Secondo made a face that communicated less concern and sympathy and more I have just discovered a cockroach in the bathtub.

A bit robotically, he attempted a comforting pat on the shoulder. He succeeded in half of that. It was, certainly, a pat on the shoulder. Figlio di puttana. He cursed silently. Not for the first time, Secondo wondered if Copia wouldn’t be better off if he simply walked away.

“Come, Cardinale. We find somewhere to sit.” Grabbing him by the elbow, he lead Copia to one of the stone benches staggered along the perimeter walls. Sitting next to him felt awkward enough that he settled on staring straight ahead down the long row of texts, books, and scrolls.

Copia, for his part, crumpled in on himself as soon as he was seated. Too upset to be worried about was Secondo might think. After another round of tears and sniffles, his brother’s leather gloved hand appeared, holding out a handkerchief. “Grazie mille.” He said a little weakly. “You… you don’t need to stay, Papa. I’ll be all right.”

“Secondo.” He said flatly.

Copia looked up at him, confused. But he kept his eyes locked forward.

“… Secondo, Copia. Papa is for work, public, official business.” His tone wasn’t what anyone would confuse for soft but, for him it was remarkably calm. “You are my fratellino, no? Save your Papa for il vecchio bastardo.”

They had never been close, the two of them. His brother was so much older and his first appearance had come as something of a shock. One that took time for them to get over and that left a rather poor impression on his younger self. Copia was still staring, looking like he might cry again at any second. It was maybe the nicest thing Secondo had ever said to him.

“Th-thank you, fratello.”

“Tell me what happened.” It wasn’t a question. “And tell me who I summon to my office.”

“Oh, no, no, no! You don’t need to. Please. If you can… let it be.” He hurried to cut off that line of thinking. His heart was heavy enough without making it even more of an embarrassing mess than it already was. “No one to talk to, Pa-Secondo. I only… I am a fool.”

Secondo sighed again. “Copia… You are no fool.” It didn’t sound like a compliment out of pity, not from him. Just a statement of facts. “You think I give you too much paperwork.” He held up a hand to cut off any argument before it can begin. “You think I trust everyone, fratello? You, at least, I know you do things right. You finish before the deadline. You don’t leave me with a pile of shit to fix. If you were a fool, I would find another.”

Something about his blunt honesty was actually comforting. Although, it would take a lot more than that to shake the misery his day had become. “You don’t understand. The books? No problem. The paperwork? I can do that. But… this isn’t books and paperwork. This is…”

He couldn’t say it. He felt enough like a fool already.

That’s more than enough for Secondo to work out what must have happened. It would have been so easy to sneak out before Copia had even realised he was there. He worked his jaw in an uncomfortable silence before finally resting his hand on his brother shoulder.

“What I say to you, hm? Not a fool.”

“… she laughed.” His voice cracked and he stared, defeated, at his hands.

“You want me to kill her?”

“What!? No!” Copia snapped his head up, staring at Secondo with wide, terrified eyes. Met with his brother’s calm stare and the slightest hint of a smirk tugging at the corner of his mouth. “Y-you’re kidding.”

“Si.”

Despite everything, Copia actually managed a smile and a soft chuckle, shaking his head. “I… I don’t think I’ve ever heard you joke before.”

Secondo huffed and frowned a little.

“I am very funny. You don’t listen.” He said without a hint of irony. Nudging him softly with his elbow. It wasn’t really so different from the old days, with Terzo, he considered. Always talking about his new great love, only to be sobbing over the end of things in an alarmingly short amount of time. Claiming he would never love again. At least until the end of the day when someone else caught his attention. “So… you like her, you tell her, and she… say no? Si?”

Copia nodded, his smile fading, replaced by defeat and sadness. “Si. Not just no. She tells me never. Laughs at me.” He dabbed at his eyes with the hankie, trying not to ruin his paint more than they already were. “She is right, Secondo. Why would she want me? No… no one does. I’m… I’m not like you. Like Terzo. Or Primo. I’m just… the other one. Just a shit copy of better things.”

The words felt like a knife to the heart and he was sure he knew where he’d picked up some of that bullshit. That had the old man’s stink all over it. Secondo lifted his mitre off and set it delicately next to him on the bench. His head tipped back until it bumped the cold wall and he stared up at the ceiling, taking a few deep breaths. “You are not like Primo. Or Terzo. Si. But… You are, maybe, like me more.”

“Like you?” He looked at his older half-brother like maybe it was another joke. But Secondo didn’t crack if it was. “No, no… You are… well… you. I’m just… me.”

He chuckled softly and dry. “Ah? Cosa sono io?”

At least he’d chuckled, Copia avoided an entire panic attack, but he still made a lot of wild hand gestures that certainly looked like they were trying to convey a deeper meaning. “I just mean… you are stronger, more confident. You don’t get so… so…” He huffed and raked his hand through his hair. “So worried about what people think. People… women… they always want you.”

Secondo closed his eyes and took another breath before looking at him again. “Ascoltare, fratello. I tell you something private. And if you say it to anyone else? I deny it. And then I come find you. Capito?”

“Capito.”

“All this? What you say to me? Is bullshit.” He turned his head back to stare at the ceiling. He couldn’t say it with Copia staring at him like that. “I know what they think of me. I hear what they say. Most I don’t like, but… È quello che è. And people?” Secondo snorted derisively. “They don’t like. Respect? Maybe. Fear? Yes. Like? No. Women like the story, to brag. They like money and parties. Siblings want Papa. Not Secondo.”

“Oh…” Copia realised he hadn’t ever considered any of that. His brother had always been so… in control and intimidating. It didn’t seem possible that he was secretly worrying over everything or just playing a role for people.

“You are no fool, Copia. You keep your heart open and you offer to people who you are. It is not easy to do here… in questa famiglia. If she is too stupid to see…” He snaps his fingers, searching for the word. “Tuo valore, the fool is her, si?”

It was, without a doubt, the longest the two of them had ever sat together and talked. Not to mention the kindest his older brother had ever been. Copia blinked at him stupidly, wondering where the hell the real Secondo had gone and who this person was. Or maybe, how had he gone so long without actually seeing the man for who he really was.

“Grazie, fratello.” He said, sounding a little awestruck.

Secondo replaced his mitre on his head and gave Copia’s shoulder a pat, standing up from the bench. He paused, obviously trying to make a decision. It took a moment, but eventually he nodded once sharply. “That Sorella… the one…” He frowned deeply. Describing people well wasn’t his strong suit. “With red hair and the… the… lentiggini? She stares when you don’t look. I see her in the hall. With that look like the puppy. Always watching. Smiling. Nina, her name is, I think. You ask her for a walk, at sunset. She says yes, eh?”

All right, maybe someone had replaced Secondo. But, then again, if he was right… Copia blushed deeply. He knew the Sister just from around the Abbey and she was very sweet… and pretty.

“… Why are you being so nice to me?” He blurted without really thinking.

Secondo only shrugged and gave his shoulder one last pat. “I tell you, you are my fratellino, no?”

With that, he turned on his heel and walked off, back through the maze of shelves. Leaving Copia staring at the place he had been. Maybe he wasn’t the best at being comforting, at least in the traditional way. But Copia was left marvelling at how much better he actually felt.

“Grazie mille, fratello…”

____________________________________________________________

Fanculo la mia vita – Fuck my lifeline

fratello – brother

fratellino – little brother

il vecchio bastardo. - the old bastard

Figlio di puttana – Son of a bitch

Grazie mille. - Thank you very much

Ah? Cosa sono io? - Oh? What am I?

Ascoltare – Listen

È quello che è – It is what it is

Tuo valore – Your worth

lentiggini - freckles

#ghost fanfic #ask prompt #Cardinal Copia #Papa II #Copia #Secondo

[demonicchicken1121]

Give me your head cannons about the purple raisin man

ohhhhhh, get fucking ready buddy, this is gonna take a while (also be warned i will probably be incorporating aspects of my au that i need to post about more soooo ¯\_(ツ)_/¯)

Gum post

The lore around remnant is really weird and confusing, and Mike is an especially odd case because he is essentially possessing his own body rather than an animatronic or something inanimate. I think that it would be neat if his body would start repairing itself. his hair, nails, bones, and other parts made of cartilage would grow back first. Then bits of skin, then some organs. I think he would like that he could paint his nails and grow his hair out, and it would give him a sense of humanity that he thought he would never get back. There are downsides, however; the more major repairs, like organs, would take a really long time. They would start developing as if they were in utero, and would be very easily damaged. Damaging the new organs wouldnt cause him any permanent harm since he's already dead, but i imagine it would be really inconvenient and painful.

Building on the last point, Mike is constantly falling apart. The whole regeneration thing is a "one step forward, two steps back" kinda deal. his skin rips, his bones break, sometimes a whole chunk of his face or hand or leg will end up in the couch cushions, and God help the poor soul that finds his missing pieces.

Speaking of The Poor Souls That Find His Missing Pieces: Mike gets back in touch with his FNAF 4 friends after getting scooped. His friends are Jeremy, Fritz, and Gabriel; they are not the missing kids. William killed kids with the same names because they were involved in Evan's death. Mike rebuilds a really close bond with Jeremy and ends up moving into his apartment.

Mike lived with Henry in the direct aftermath of being scooped. He had practically passed out on henry's doorstep, as it was the only place he could think to go. Mike was out for several days after Ennard left his body, and was hardly able to move or speak after waking up. Henry was left with the responsibility of taking care of him during that time. Unfortunately, Henry is also very squeamish. Taking care of mike while he was asleep was bad enough, but once he wakes up and recovers a bit, he starts intentionally grossing Henry out. He also keeps finding body parts in the couch cushions and he screams every time he does.

Mike has a great sense of humor, especially after being scooped. His favorite thing is to point to where his stomach used to be and say "HEY! Look at my HOLE!" and then laugh at his own joke for like thirty minutes. He mostly does this to Henry, because of his previously mentioned squeamish-ness.

Mike has a love hate relationship with butter. he likes it on toast, but like... that damn butter basket. also he has defiantly tried both butter and toast flavored gum before (see: Gum post)

I have so many more hcs (a lot about his relationships with his parents and siblings, pre-scoop mike, post ffps mike, etc) and will probably add to this list, but here is a healthy portion (ok, more like a grandma sized portion) of my Raisin Man Thoughts

#fnaf #five nights at freddy’s #michael afton #mike afton #mike schmidt #fnaf headcanons #michael afton headcanons #henry emily #jeremy fitzgerald #fritz smith #fnaf gabriel #fnaf 4 bullies