Tumgik
#this painting of you will allow me life...
propertyofwicked · 1 day
Text
THIS IS US - LN
warnings: smut throughout!! MDNI!! unprotected sex, little bit of jealous!lando
snippets of lando and his girls sex life throughout the years of their relationship! <3 (can be read as a fewtrell!reader but it's not discussed)
masterlist the playlist
Tumblr media
the first time -
y/n remembered her first time with lando like it was yesterday. the two of them, freshly 19 and still friends at the time, found themselves cuddled up on the sofa in his and max’s shared house. their friends slept dotted around the house, many of them drunk and sleeping in the first place their body stumbled into.
there’d always been a sense of something more between the two, friends from a young age, attached at the hip. they were close, too close for friends, max would tell him constantly - raising his eyebrows every time he caught them wrapped up in each other on the couch, or when they entwined their hands at any given opportunity. everyone around them had given up trying to push the two together, hoping they would come to their senses soon.
their first time happened so naturally, it was quite sweet actually. her head resting on his shoulder, as they sat together, her eyes staring wide up at his face. it was that moment he decided to go for it, leaning down to press a soft kiss to her lips. he half expected her to push him off, but found himself pleasantly surprised when she kissed him back, escalating the kiss till she was straddling his lap.
“not here,” she remembered him whispering in her ear, pulling her up from his lap as he lead the two of them to his room. the two of them resuming there position on his bed, lando resting his back on the headboard, palms covering her waist as she hovered over his cock.
“-wait!” she panicked slightly, “i don’t know how to-”
“it’s ok, you’re fine. just breathe, ill guide you. go slow, yeah?” he reassured her. in the heat of the moment he had forgotten this was her first time with anyone, let alone him, and yet she’d decided to get on top.
y/n remembered lowering down on him, his grip on her hips allowing him to fill her slowly. lando distinctly remembered her shy moans, the way she tried to stay quiet, aware of the amount of people in the house.
“fuck me, angel. so tight,” he’d said, grunting slightly as she got lower, fighting to keep his hips still whilst she grew accustomed to the stretch, “last bit angel, you can take it.”
“there’s more?” she’d replied, panting slightly as he chuckled at her, “i can’t d-”
she remembered the way their eyes locked as he jutted his hips up into her, filling her whole. he remembered the way her mouth gaped open, and the way her head rolled back as his hands slowly rocked her hips over his length.
lando was gentle with her, kissing her softly throughout, his moans and praises merging together as she grew more confident, falling into a steady rhythm on top of him.
“i love you,” he’d grunted as his hands ran over her skin, trying to remember everything about her - the way she felt, the way she sounded, the way she clenched around his cock when she got closer. she reciprocated his sentiment, neither of them shocked at the revelation.
“you owe me a tenner,” max had said to niran the next day, after he’d found the two of them passed out in lando’s bed, smiling to himself.
getting caught -
the two of them gained more confidence with their sex life the following years. lando knew exactly what she needed, and how to make her fold for him. max had described the two as rabbits, going at it like no one’s business, laughing to himself as the trio constructed a new bedframe - the last one meeting its unfortunate ending when lando had taken out his stress on his girl. her legs had been over his shoulders when they heard a snap! and felt the mattress dipping into the broken slat. the paint on the headboard had long been chipped from the constant banging into the wall behind, and one of the legs was coming lose.
it had been mid-season, the two of them finding themselves in his drivers room after an unfortunate race. y/n had tried consoling him, but being comforting and supportive was not working at the time. he’d come round eventually and talk to her but for now, he had her pressed against the wall, her cheek pushed up against it. her skirt had simply been tugged up around her hips, panties to the side as he pushed into her from behind, roughly thrusting as he muttered curses under his breath. his hand was about to snake around her waist to toy with her clit when the door flung open.
“land- OH SHIT!” a voice had called out before dissolving into giggles, followed by the door slamming shut again. the shocked face of daniel ricciardo, followed by his distinct laugh, was something y/n was sure would never leave her brain. the interruption hadn’t bothered lando, the two of them were both covered enough for daniel to have seen too much, and so he took it in his stride, bringing them both to a finish soon after.
it had taken a while for y/n to look daniel in the eyes again without wanting to drop dead on the spot, her boyfriend simply smirked at the memory.
club, cameras, cars -
lando’s body was pressed up against hers, packed together in the busy club, their bodies moving in time with the beat. his hands stayed firmly on her waist, telling her it was so she wouldn’t get lost in the crowd, but realistically it had been his way of keeping her close to him. close enough that he could drop his head to hers, joining their lips together in a deep kiss. her tongue dragged along his bottom lip, before her teeth nipped at him, pulling away slowly to catch her breath. his hips grinding into hers, her hands running through his curls.
she was obsessed with him, his unbuttoned shirt, the way his necklace peaked through - she was feral for him.
he looked up momentarily, glad to meet max’s eyes, who directed him to the corner where a man similar in age was filming the interaction between the couple. he leant down to her ear again, so that she could hear him over the loud bass.
“someone filming us,” he told her, feeling her body tense slightly, “you wanna get out of here?”
she’d nodded at him. being filmed by anyone and everyone was nothing new for her, although she wished people would have some concept of privacy. it was somewhat infuriating, but she guessed that was the price she paid for loving the man in front of her. his eyes had softened at her, noticing her anxiety - she didn’t get anxious when people captured them driving around, or just living their normal lives. she did however when such intimate moments were filmed and posted on twitter for the world to see. people had strong opinions - strong opinions that they shared online all whilst hiding their own identities.
they walked next to each other, his hand clutching hers protectively as they said goodbye to max. a few cameras flashed as they walked towards lando’s car, the odd fan approaching him to sign something - they assumed someone had leaked where they were. it was these interactions she didn’t mind, the ones that didn’t make her feel like her whole life was being dissected by the media.
“’m glad max pointed him out,” he started as they climbed into the car, “don’t want to imagine how far i would’ve gone if he hadn’t.”
“you would’ve fucked me in the middle of a club?” she spluttered out, turning to stare at him as he pulled onto the main road.
“i’d fuck you anywhere, angel,” he replied with a shrug.
“you are the pr teams worst nightmare,” she joked, shaking her head at him again.
“hey!” he defended, “since when did loving my girlfriend become a crime?”
“it’s not,” she conceded, smirking to herself at her next statement, “the real crime is the fact you’re not pulling into that lay-by right now.”
“i- wha-,” he stuttered, taken aback at her boldness, “here? right now?”
“why not? there’s no one around.”
he didn’t bother indicating, pulling the car into the side lane, and hurrying to turn the lights off. his free hand adjusted the seat, rolling it back as far as it went before reaching over to grab the woman besides him. she clambered over the centre console, landing not-so graciously on his lap.
the whole interaction was messy and lacking in any decorum. his cock was deep inside her, stretching her out as he thrusted up into her. with every bounce her knees hit the side of the door or the centre console, sure to bring bruises to the skin from the sheer impact. she leant forwards into him, his hands trailing under her dress to squeeze at her breasts.
“baby, lean back a bit,” he had told her, desperate to see her face.
“lan, if i lean any further back im gonna hit the horn,” she said, still adjusting herself to lean up.
“you can hit my horn,” he retorted, giggling to himself at the childish joke.
“don’t make jokes when you’re inside me,” she begged, sighing at the man in front of her.
the counter -
y/n had remembered their move to monaco fondly, lando had been living there for a few months before she made the move herself. she recalled the heartfelt goodbye with her family and friends, her entire life packed into boxes and a suitcase as she moved to a country she’d never even visited. the move felt right, especially after 3 years together - 2 months of long distance was hard enough, neither of them could imagine spending anymore time apart. she’d set herself up as a small time content creator, working closely within quadrant to build up a sufficient income to support herself in between races. lando’s fans loved the snippets of domestic lando, but they also appreciated her wicked sense of humour and her biased insight on the world of motorsport.
once she’d settled into life at the new flat, traces of her personality dotted around, the woman found herself on facetime to her mum giving her a virtual tour.
lando had been out of the flat, spending his morning training, returning home sweaty but overjoyed to hear the sounds of his girlfriends voice travelling through their home. taking the opportunity to sneak up on her, he crept around the hallway, moving quietly towards the kitchen.
“praying my B in french GCSE is gonna come in hand- AH!” y/n yelped, almost dropping her phone as lando pounced on her shoulders, shouting boo! as he did. the older woman on the phone laughed as her daughters face went from startled to glaring at the boy behind her.
“i better leave you two be,” her mum had told them, smiling at the camera and waving slightly to the couple. the shock of her youngest child announcing that she was moving to a different country was wearing off gradually - the happiness of her daughter being with someone she’d secretly rooted for their entire childhood taking over.
“bye mum!” “bye y/m/n!”
y/n had placed the phone beside her, leaning back to rest on the counter. lando had fallen into her embrace, hands wrapping around her waist as he pressed kisses across her entire face. she leant into the kiss, joining their lips together in what had started so innocently. in what had started as such a wholesome day, talking to her mum about the new flat and spending time with the man she loved, quickly turned into something much more.
he’d soon noticed how the counter perfectly lined up with her waist, smirking into her lips as they kissed, before his hands twisted her waist, turning her by the hip until she was pressed up against the marble. her back arching as he bent her over, grinding her ass into him as she did. he’d tugged at her jeans, pulling them down her legs slowly, her lace panties following soon after. he’d allowed her a moment to step out of them, kicking her clothes across the kitchen floor, before kicking her feet further apart. his strong hand gripped her hip, stabilising her frame as he guided his cock through her folds, covering it in her slick before pushing himself into her fully. she moaned out for him, her hands searching for anything to grip onto for support, settling on wrapping around the coffee machine.
the counter pushed on her lower stomach, the pressure sending waves through her body as she tightened around him. he grunted at the feeling, his fingers finding their way to her clit, falling into a natural rhythm as he always did. lando knew her body like it was his own, he could map every bump, every scar, every freckle that adorned her skin. he knew where she needed him, and how.
“im gonna cum,” she’d whimpered pathetically, embarrassed at how quickly she fell apart for him.
“already?” he asked cockily, his hand landing harshly on her ass. lando took her moment of shock to run his hand up her back, his fingers settling at the base of her hair. he gripped at the roots, tugging her entire body back into his, her face settling next to his. he could hear the way she panted, the way his name tumbled from her lips like a mantra.
“always take me so well,” he moaned in her ear, exhaling as he did. the feeling of his breath hitting the skin of her neck sent her over the edge. she fell forwards, legs shaking beneath him.
lando’s hands moved back to her hips, holding her up so that she wouldn’t fall as he pushed her into the counter again. he thrusted into her for a minute more, his pace growing sloppier as he reached his own climax. y/n whined at him, overstimulated and sore - her noises short circuited his brain, and soon after he was filling her up, his cum leaking from the sides as he rode out his own high.
they panted together, lando pulling his cock out as they fought to catch their breath.
“how did we manage to fuck in the kitchen before our actual bedroom?” she chuckled, moving to grab her discarded clothes and shuffling towards the bathroom.
“never gonna be able to cook in here without thinking about this,” he replied with a shake of his head, as he followed her out of the room with a final glance at the counter. the coffee machine now skewed, water puddled around it from where she’d knocked the tank.
“lando norris? cooking? that’ll be the day the world spontaneously combusts,” she teased.
jealousy -
y/n had accompanied lando and max to the motogp event, finding herself in a deep conversation with someone she had hung around with during the karting days. she hadn’t expected to see him there, pleasantly surprised to catch up with an old friend who’d she’d spent a lot of time with growing up. she honestly saw no harm in it, lando and max had disappeared to film content of the day, so she saw no issue in speaking to him rather than sit alone, twiddling her fingers.
lando, however, was fuming not happy. he trusted his girlfriend in any situation, it was other men he didn’t trust, especially when he walked up to find y/n laughing loudly with a man he vaguely recognised.
“y/n, we’re leaving now,” lando told her, clenching his fists at his sides rather than taking her hand.
“oh- ok,” she replied, a little startled at his tone, “bye sam! was lovely seeing you!” she said to the man, turning on her heel to catch up with her boyfriend.
“lovely to see you!” lando mocked childishly when she rejoined his side, “yeah bet he thought it was lovely to see you.”
“what is your problem?” she asked, stopping short of the car, arms crossed over her chest.
“what’s my problem? you. him. the way he looked at you?”
“are you serious?” she asked, taken aback, “he’s an old friend lando. grow up.”
“grow up?” he repeated, “you don’t see me laughing like that with old friends.”
“whatever you do with old friends is not my problem, i trust you to make the right decision. but clearly, you don’t trust me,” she responded, marching past him and climbing in the back of max’s car.
the two barely spoke for days, the silence made worse by the fact they were stuck together in max’s spare room. y/n spent her days with P, lando with max - the other couple desperately trying to speak sense into the two of them, knowing just how stubborn they both could be.
y/n finally believed their spat was over when he settled between her legs, eating at her like a man starved. she was stubborn, but never too stubborn to pass up the chance of his tongue on her heat. his hands gripped at her thighs, his grip leaving bruises on her skin. lando’s tongue swirled around her clit before sucking at her harshly. she was so close, hands gripping at anything - his hair, the bedsheets, his hands. but then she felt nothing, only cold air against her desperate heat as lando pushed himself away and stood up to move across the room.
she sat up on her arms, staring at him in complete disbelief.
“what the fuck lando?”
“you know what you need to do if you wanna cum,” he’d told her, dark eyes staring back at her. he wanted an apology, she wasn’t going to apologise. she’d done nothing wrong.
“good idea, lan. ill see if sam’s free,” she shot back, leaning forward to grab her phone from the bedside table.
that had been her mistake. potentially too brave in the moment, y/n genuinely didn’t know if she regretted even alluding to messaging the man causing the couples squabble.
“i didn’t mean it!” she’d moaned out, feeling his hand slap against the skin of her ass harshly, the feeling sending shots of pleasure back to her core, before he rolled her onto her back once more. he freed his cock quickly, roughly thrusting into her with no warning.
“’m sor- m’sorry,” she said again, her legs pulled harshly over his shoulders as he fucked into her. he wasn’t even mad anymore, yet he rammed into her as if to teach her a lesson, as if he was literally fucking the attitude out of her. she moaned out loudly at the feeling, lando’s grunts like music to her ears.
“you gonna behave now?” he asked her, pace remaining relentless.
“i wi- will,” she choked out, “i promise.”
“good girl, that’s more like it,” he said, satisfied with her remorse as his fingers returned to her clit.
she came hard and fast around him, the tightening of her walls bringing him to his own climax. he pulled out slowly, rolling to lay next to her as their chests heaved in unison.
“you know i do trust you, right?” he asked, finally willing to talk to her about the argument.
“i know. i just wish you’d show it, rather than getting angry when i speak to any man.”
“im sorry,” lando apologised, pulling her into his side and pressing a kiss to her head, “im trying my best, m’trying not to let jealousy get the better of me.”
“thank you,” she offered him, “and ill try not to provoke you. even if it does result in the best sex of my life.”
he chuckled lightly, his breathing finally stable. but no quiet moment between the two would ever stay quiet for long.
“im glad you guys made up and that, but next time can you not be so loud?” max shouted through the door, making the couple blush as they realised they’d forgotten that he was home, “oh, and you’re cleaning those sheets.”
695 notes · View notes
dfortrafalgar · 1 day
Text
I'm Losing You... (But We're Filling the Cracks)
Having a family isn't always as easy as fairy tales make it seem. But sometimes, you just need a little bit of love... and a little bit of science.
Warnings: read chapter 1 for warnings.
Taglist: @phsycochan | @mirillua | @augustanna | @chaixsherlock | @whore-of-many-hot-men | @nerdisthenewcool | @lilypadmomentum | @1dkneo | @kitsunechan707
Tumblr media
Chapter 29
[Prev] [Next]
The last thing you and Law were able to fully enjoy together to prepare for the arrival of your babies was setting up the nursery in the second bedroom, after having your friends assist with clearing it out and cleaning up the carpet, that was.  Once completed, Law was now hunkered down to a strict schedule of meetings with almost hundreds of people in preparation for the biggest, longest, and most daunting surgery of his life.
But prior to that, he was able to spend an entire day with you, putting together cribs, assembling toys, installing two small dresser sets and changing tables, and organizing all of the baby clothing and supplies you received from your generous friends.  You had never seen Law more delighted, except maybe on your wedding day.  The way he carefully assembled one of the mobiles and hung it delicately over the top of one of the cribs brought a warm smile to your face.  As the days grew closer and closer, the thought of Law holding your babies made your heart flutter more and more.
The room was much smaller than your master bedroom, but it still had ample room as a nursery for two babies.  You had taken the opportunity (thanks in part to your lenient lease) to paint both of the walls a simple, muted mint-green color, calming to the eyes and yet still allowing the room to glow with light when the blinds were open.  Law had even bought a paper trim decorated with animal prints to place on the highest points of the wall, surrounding the corner where it touched the ceiling.  Both cribs were situated in opposite corners of the room, separated by a small window.  At the ends of both cribs sat their small dressers where their respective clothing, bedding, and supplies were stored, and above the dressers sat their changing tables and changing mats.  The rest of the room was dedicated to storing their plethora of toys until they were old enough to begin playing and exploring their world.  In your kitchen, two high chairs were placed against the wall, ready to be used at your table.  Two car seats with sturdy handles and foldable sun covers were ready and waiting in your extra closet, along with the folded up double stroller.  In your bathroom, Law had installed a small additional storage container for you to keep your unused breastfeeding supplies in, which he insisted on sterilizing three times a week despite not being touched yet.  Everything was ready to go, now the only thing left to do was wait.
But now, Law was spending more and more time at the hospital, which you completely understood, but that he lamented over.  Before he left every single day, and the second he returned home from however long his shift was, he kissed you on the lips before traveling down and planting two tender kisses against your bump.  The bump of which had become quite the hindrance as you approached the 36 week mark.  You were at 34 now, and according to Robin, your twins’ organs were fully developed and they’d be able to breathe on their own once born… whenever that was.
And while you were happy to have made it to 34, overjoyed even, the Braxton Hicks contractions were incredibly annoying.
“They are not indicative of labor,” your doctor had said.  “Trust me, you’ll know when your contractions go from false alarms to actual labor.”
You took her word for it.  But that didn’t make the 30 second increments of sudden cramping rippling across your belly at all hours of the day any better.  Sometimes, the pain would subside for an hour or two before coming back in full.  And they weren’t agonizingly painful, but they were prevalent enough that it was near impossible to ignore them.
While Law was at work more and more frequently in preparation for the surgery, Shachi and Penguin basically moved in with you.  They were walking Bepo, feeding Bepo, playing with Bepo, kissing Bepo, all while you were laying on your couch like a log.  A log with a huge belly and spontaneous Braxton Hicks contractions.
“What does Mama want?” Penguin asked from your kitchen, rifling through your pantry.
“Please don’t call me ‘Mama,’” you groaned.  It was endearing when Law did it, and very awkward when anyone else did.
“Got it.  What does the fat woman on the couch want?” he called back.
“Don’t make me come over there and stab you,” you yelled.  “I’m cranky enough as it is.”
Shachi emerged from the bathroom down the hall.  “Penguin quit bugging her.  That’s my job.”
“You guys are going to make me deliver early,” you snipped.
“Give the poor woman some food,” Shachi demanded, driving a harsh spank against Penguin’s ass through the man’s cargo shorts, resulting in a high-pitched yelp.  That finally forced a smile to break out on your face.
“I’m glad to see you two finally came to your senses,” you chided, trying to push yourself up against the armrest of your couch where a pillow was situated against your back to support you.  “What’s it like having graduated from roommates to sex?”
“It’s the exact same, but way hotter,” Shachi replied with a mischievous, toothy smile.
“Okay, I’m sorry for calling you fat, please stop talking about my sex with this lunatic,” Penguin groaned, emerging from your pantry with a few unopened boxes of pasta while you and Shachi giggled over his modesty.  “How does a simple baked ziti sound?”
You moaned from the couch.  “That sounds heavenly.”
Shachi left the kitchen to enter the main living space with you, sitting on the floor with his legs spread and allowing Bepo to crawl onto his lap.  “Nervous?” he asked, looking up at you.
Your hands soothed over your belly as another false contraction rippled through you in waves.  “More than nervous.  But I’ve been trying not to think about it.  I’m worried that too much stress will induce labor.”  After a brief pause, you added, “I’m worried that everything out of the ordinary will induce labor.”
The redhead hummed beside you, idly stroking the soft fur of Bepo’s head as the dog began to fall asleep on his lap.  “Do you have a hospital bag packed?”
You nodded.  “Law packed one for me a week ago.  It has all of our stuff in it… it’s pretty heavy.  He said, ‘If anything happens while I’m away and you have to go into L&D, have either Shachi or Penguin take this to the hospital.’”
“What’s ‘L&D’?” asked Penguin from the kitchen as he dumped two boxes of pasta into a large pot of boiling water.
“Labor and Delivery,” you clarified.  “We’re all assuming a lot of this is going to be spontaneous, so there’s no real indication of when I’ll have to go in because… well, we don’t know when I’ll give birth,” you explained.  “Most moms with one baby give birth at around 40 weeks, give or take.  But with twins, the average is apparently 36.  And I’m at 34.”
Shachi whistled through his lips.  “So it really could be at any moment.”
“Great time for Law to have to replace a man’s organs, huh?” Penguin piped up from the kitchen.
You laughed.  “The timing couldn’t have been better!”
The smell of baked ziti very slowly began to permeate your apartment as Penguin cooked, Shachi doted on Bepo, and you lounged on the couch, standing intermittently to continue to stretch your legs.  The contractions didn’t stop, if anything they increased in frequency as time slowly ticked away.  And every once in a while, one of your babies would kick against your muscle.
Law was fighting with every fiber in his body to stay awake.  He was leading his surgical team, for crying out loud.  He needed to be front and center for this meeting.  He drove the tip of his pencil through his pant leg into the flesh of his thigh to snap him out of his dozed state.  God, he needed coffee.
At the front of the conference room, directly in front of where Law sat, was the head of the hospital’s Transplant Transport team, which Law’s team joked was a very humorous name.  He was quite a stocky older man with a distended belly that barely fit into the gray dress shirt he had tucked into his slacks.  He was going through an itinerary on a pulled-down projector screen.  
“The patient, to remind those of you who just arrived, is a 51 year old man with a history of cardiopulmonary failure.  He has had two open heart surgeries in the past, and suffered a collapsed lung in his youth.  Both he and his family have been willing to try every treatment possible, and that is why we are meeting here today.  As far as I am aware, this hospital has never performed a double heart-lung transplant before, am I correct?”  He turned his attention to Law, who crossed on leg over his knee, asking silently for the lead surgeon’s approval.
“Correct,” Law affirmed, nodding his head.
“Dr. Trafalgar, would you mind walking your team through the procedure step-by-step?” the man asked, stepping aside to allow Law room to stand up in front of the packed conference room.
With a silenced grunt, Law stood up and smoothed his white doctor’s coat over his chest.  He took a deep breath and turned to face the room.  In front of him, every seat at the table and scattered chairs against the wall were filled by his surgery team, ICU nurses and doctors, hospital technicians involved with the case, and members of the Transplant Transport team.  “The surgery is scheduled to begin at 8:00 AM on May 12th.  That morning, a helicopter will be arriving with the heart and lungs from the donor patient, where they will then be transported by the transplant team to our operating room and hooked up to an artificial body where they’ll be kept living while we remove the damaged tissue from our recipient.  A coronary bypass machine will be used to keep the patient alive while his organs are removed and replaced.  This is the simple explanation, whenever everyone’s ready, I will begin discussing the more heavy aspects of the procedure.”
A few nods and curt words of consent were shared amongst the room.  Law took a deep breath and began speaking once more.
You were sitting naked on your bed, having just gotten out of the shower, when your phone started buzzing on your bedside table.  Your husband’s name popped up, immediately making you smile.
“Hey, baby!” you called into the receiver.  “How’d the presentation meeting go?”
A long, pent up sigh was heard through the speaker, making your heart pang with sympathy.  [About as good as it could’ve.  It’s hard explaining a 15 hour surgery to a group of 50-some-odd people.]
“Do you think your team is ready for it?” you asked, using one hand to slather moisturizing lotion onto your knees and calves.
[I think so.  I mean, I damn hope so.  I’ve had a lot of my nurses and team members review the same materials I’ve been studying to make sure everyone is on the same page.  As the day gets closer, I’m having my assistants complete simulated operations on their down time.]
“You can do that?”
[It’s a teaching hospital, we’ve got plenty of equipment.]
You grinned, dropping your legs and falling backward onto your bed, rubbing your belly with one hand while your other held your phone to your ear.  “Well, that’s good.”
Law’s voice hummed in agreement.  You heard him take another deep breath.  [I miss you.]
A part of you wanted to joke that he was only about five minutes away, but you knew what he meant.  He was missing the last few weeks of your pregnancy, something he had wanted to avoid since the two of you started trying for a baby.  It was vital to him that he was there to support you, to protect you, but once again, he wasn’t.  He was kept away from you by his taxing job, a job that he loved with a deep passion, but one that fought with his unwavering commitment to you.
Instead of commenting something witty in response, you replied with, “I know… I do too.”  A thought came into your mind, something you had read earlier in the day while your friends were out with your dog.  “Hey… Law?”
[Yeah, baby?]
“I know it’s hard to ask this over the phone but… I read online that parents with twins are more likely to suffer relationship breakdown.”
Law seemed to know what you were alluding to immediately, even without you having to explicitly state your worry.  [Remember everything I’ve been telling you?  About how much I love you and how that’s not going to change at any point?]
A smile tugged to your lips.  “Yeah…”
[Relationships break down because of stress.  But we’re good at working things out together.  We jump through hurdles at the same time because we communicate and we love each other.  That’s not going to change with babies.  Even with two new mouths to feed instead of one.]
“Your words always help me feel better,” you sighed into the receiver.  “I love you.”
[Get some rest, sleeping beauty.  I love you, too, always.]
34 weeks turned into 35.
The waiting was starting to take years off of your life, you thought.
Shachi and Penguin had bunked up in your living room.  You only saw your husband about three times while he prepared religiously for the operation.
Somewhere at another hospital, a comatose man was being prepped and signed off to be removed from life support and have his organs harvested.  And ten minutes from your apartment, a middle-aged man with his own family was getting ready to receive them.
And you were carrying two babies in your womb.  Two babies who, according to your very last ultrasound, were both facing head-first toward your cervix.  It was looking like a completely natural birth would be possible, as long as no complications arose in the moment.
Hopefully, according to your latest health workup, everything would be fine.  Your blood pressure had remained steady throughout your pregnancy, all of your blood panel conditions had been very healthy.  Your body felt ready, if the constant Braxton Hicks contractions were anything to go off of.
It was just.  The.  Waiting.
Your journal was almost completed.  You only had two more pages before your prompts switched to journaling the post-birthing experience.
You uncapped your pen and began writing.
Tumblr media Tumblr media
67 notes · View notes
an0ther1 · 2 days
Text
Two Is Always Better Than One pt.2
Leah x Alessia
A/N: This is the “2nd” chapter of a 3 part short series I have on AO3. Thanks for all the dog name suggestions.
Tumblr media
“LEE! LEAH! Swear I need to put a tracking device on you in this house.” Leah could hear from down the hall.
“In the study, love.” Leah was setting up their football photos throughout the room. They had been in the house for 3 weeks now. They had some custom built-ins made for the study and painted a few rooms before all their furniture and personal items were moved in. They still had a few things to unpack.
“That Martha woman got back to me!” Alessia started before she crossed the threshold. When she entered the room and saw the confusion on Leah’s face she continued. “The lady with the foster puppies the shelter told us about. Remember, the shelter we went to on Tuesday told us about those puppies that had been found by the pond in London Colney, they nicknamed them the Gooners.”
“OH YEAH!”
“Want to go meet them?”
“Right now?” Leah was still on the step ladder trying to hang an enlarged print of Alessia’s back heel goal against Sweden.
“YES! Before someone else takes the puppy that is meant to be with us!” Alessia smacked her hands against her thighs like a child that was utterly frustrated with having to explain themselves. However this was the first time they had talked about this litter of foster puppies aside from the initial mention of them at the shelter. “You promised me I could have a dog.” Alessia whined.
Leah finally got the picture on the hook in the wall and straightened before descending the small ladder. “Of course we can go see them.”
“YEAH?”
“Yes beautiful” Leah walked over and dropped a kiss to the top of Alessia’s head. “Let me just change my shirt.”
Alessia squealed. “I’ll get the keys and meet you in the car!” Then she was off down the hall, leaving Leah just standing there.
“Never again.” Leah muttered to herself.
15 minutes later they were in a village a stones throw from the training center. “These puppies are Gooners born and raised. One of them is definitely ours!” Alessia bounced in the passenger seat as Leah pulled the car over in front of a small white cottage. She had the door open before Leah even got the engine shut off. The defender could only laugh at her girlfriend's excitement. Alessia at least waited for Leah to catch up before she knocked on the door.
A few puppies could be heard yapping behind the door as well as a woman trying to calm them down. “Saka, get off of Declan. Leah! No, stop pushing Kai around. Little, get a handle on your team.”
Leah and Alessia just looked at each other. The door opened a moment later to reveal an older woman with dark hair that was graying around her face. She had her head turned back towards the dogs in the house when she first greeted the couple. “Hello, sorry for all the yapping. But trying to control 10 pups is-” She stopped mid sentence when she finally turned to face the blondes. “Bloody hell, you’re Alessia Russo and Leah Williamson.”
“That’s us!” Alessia said cherrily. “I emailed you about meeting the foster pups.”
“Really?”
Alessia glanced over at Leah for a moment. “Ah, yeah. I mean, are you Martha?”
“I am.”
“Then I do believe you were the one I was emailing with.”
“Oh. Yes, yes. Sorry. I just. You’re Alessia Russo.” The women then turned to Leah. “And your-” The woman shook her head. “Sorry, I just can’t believe that you two are standing at my door. And clearly my manners have completely left me. Come in. Please.” The woman stood back in the entryway to allow the footballers in. “I have 2 real life Gunners here to meet my Gooners.”
Leah laughed. “It would seem that way. And thank you for letting us come meet them.”
“Oh yes, of course. So, umm.” The woman pointed towards a couch in the living room. “Please have a seat there, or on the floor if you like. So yeah, I’m Martha.”
“Hello Martha. So did you say you have 10 puppies right now?” Leah asked.
“Yes. There are the 6 Gooners that were found near the pond. And then I have 4 others from a pregnant foster I took in. They were born about a week before I took the pups. Since no mother was found with the Gooners, Emilia stepped up and took the 6 in with her own. She’s in the garden right now having a bit of a break.” Martha smiled.
“I thought I heard you say a few names as you came to the door?” Alessia lowered herself onto the floor in front of the couch, which got the attention of several puppies who came bounding over to inspect the new person.
“Oh yes.” Martha chuckled. “All of the pups are named after players. So that one there is Kaka, and that’s Kai. The blonde one is Leah.”
Alessia scooped that one up first. “Well don’t you have the perfect name, pretty girl.” She cooed.
“The one with the long skinny legs is Stina. The dark one is Declan. And then,” Martha looked around the room and continued pointing and naming pups as she saw them. “There is Frida, Foxy, and Victoria.”
“I thought I heard you say Little, and that’s only 8.” Leah pointed out just as there was a crashing sound from somewhere in the house.
The older woman huffed. “That would be McCabe. And I’m sure Little is right behind her trying to get her to stop whatever mischief she has gotten herself into. I’ll be right back.” She headed out of the room.
“She can’t be serious.” Leah said quietly.
“Oh I can’t wait to tell the girls about this.” Alessia said as she rubbed the bellies of 2 of the pups.
A moment later Martha returned with a dog under each arm. A black one who was squirming in an attempt to escape, and a caramel colored one who seemed satisfied the other one had been captured. “These two, are Little and McCabe.”
“Do we need to ask which is which?” Leah chuckled.
“Your guess will be correct, I promise you.” The woman laughed as she set them both down.
McCabe shook like she had just gotten out of a bath before realizing there was someone new sitting on the floor and taking off like a tiny rocket. She barrelled through 2 other puppies before slamming into Alessia at full speed. “You are true to the namesake I see.” Alessia said as she picked the puppy up.
Little sat in the middle of the room for a moment, watching and observing all the other dogs before she seemed to decide everyone was where they should be and wandering over to Leah. She sniffed the defender's outstretched hand before sitting up on her hind legs to be picked up. “Well aren’t you a well mannered little thing.”
“She is definitely the responsible one of the bunch. We think she was the one that kept all the puppies together at the pond as she always seems to be rounding them up and checking on everyone. And then that one.” Martha pointed at McCabe. “Well her and Little are now connected at the hip because she’s always getting into something and Little is always trying to pull her back. Which is funny because McCabe is not one of the 6 Gooners.”
“Yeah, McCabe seems a bit bigger. But she’s younger, yeah?” Alessia asked.
“That’s correct. But, Little is her keeper. So much so that I’m hopeful they’ll find a home together.”
“Awe, aren’t you a sweet one.” Leah had Little on her back in her lap rubbing her chest. “Any idea what they are? Like breeds? They’re all kind of small”
“Well Emilia is part Dachshund. But she is mixed with something a bit heftier too, like a corgi maybe. And then I would guess the Gooners are Dachshund as well, but mixed with something smaller like another terrier. They have rounder snouts too.”
McCabe started getting feisty in Alessia’s lap and immediately Little rolled over from her relaxed position in Leah’s lap and jumped to the floor. She snipped lightly at McCabe’s ear causing the black pup to stop immediately.
“See. Little runs things.”
Alessia was giggling as she picked up McCabe close to her face. “At least you listen to your captain.” The puppy began squireming wildly until the footballer set her down, before taking off across the room full speed, Little hot on her heels. “Those two are adorable.” Alessia began calling over the other puppies who were happy to gain the blonde's attention.
Without a puppy in her own lap Leah pulled out her phone and began taking photos of her girlfriend with several of the pups in her lap, a bright smile on her face. She took several more photos over the next 20 minutes while Alessia rolled around on the floor with the dogs. Every so often you could hear a small bark from across the room and then McCabe would wander back to the middle of the room under Little’s watchful eye. And each time Little seemed satisfied that McCabe was going to stay with the group, the caramel colored pup sat itself at Leah’s feet.
“Kindred spirits it would seem.” Alessia said after the 3rd time.
Leah leaned down and rubbed the dog's ear, causing Little to slump over into her leg. “So it would seem.” She smiled softly.
Slowly one by one the puppies started to lose momentum and began curling up together throughout the room. Little was still settled next to Leah’s feet when McCabe came over and nudged the other dog. When she got no reaction, she crawled up into Alessia’s lap just above Little and plopped down.
Martha smiled at the footballers. “Looks like they’ve taken a liking to you.”
Alessia leaned her head back against the couch looking up at Leah. The look in her eye told Leah everything the younger woman was thinking before she even said anything. “You know, two is always better than one.”
“Is that so?” Leah smirked.
“One is so lonely.” Alessia pouted.
“I spend enough time yelling at McCabe as is.” Leah paused. “We are not keeping that name.”
“REALLY?!” Alessia squealed, waking several of the puppies. All except McCabe it seemed. “Martha, if we wanted to make these 2 ours?” She turned to the older woman.
“I would expect regular Instagram uploads to see how they are doing.” The woman smiled. “This is a private foster situation, so there really isn’t any paperwork or anything to be done if that’s what you’re asking. There are just some questions I like to ask.”
“Fire away!” Alessia hugged a sleeping McCabe to her chest.
“Do you have a fenced yard?”
“Yup! A big one! With lots of things to explore.” Alessia answered.
“Do you have a vet lined up?”
“Beth and Viv said they would give us the information for their vet. Said they highly recommend them. Especially for puppies.” Alessia played with the still sleeping dogs' ears.
“Wonderful. You two do travel. Do you have care lined up for when you are away?”
“We have several people willing to stay at the house with them.” Leah answered.
Martha took a deep breath and exhaled. “Well then. After seeing the four of you together, if you would like to take those babies home with you, I think you would be a great fit for them.”
Alessia spun around on the floor with McCabe in her arms, bright blue eyes looking at Leah. “Yeah?”
“Yeah.” Leah bent down and picked up the sleeping puppy at her feet. Little only opened her eyes slightly, clearly not caring about being handled. “You want to come with us and keep an eye on that little bugga for good? Hmm?”
Martha stood up. “Well then, let me get their things. They each have a toy and blanket. I’ll also give you a bag of the kibble they currently eat. You can keep them on the same brand or change it. You’ll just want to mix this one with whatever you get to help ease their body into the change. And then I have quick info care sheet.” The woman exited the room.
“Are we really taking them home Lee?”
“Yeah Lessi.”
Alessia rose up from the floor to sit on the couch next to Leah. “Thank you, Leah.” She kissed the other blonde softly. “I love you.”
“And I love you.” Leah smiled as she leaned in for another kiss. “I did promise we would get a dog when we had a home with a garden, and I keep my promises.”
“That you do.”
“Alright. Here we are.” Martha reentered the room. “These belong to Little.” She held up a gray blanket and stuffed rabbit. “And these belong to McCabe.” She held up a red blanket and. . .
“Is that a shin pad?” Leah asked with a twisted face.
“It is. I honestly have no idea where it came from. Might be an old thing that belonged to one of my boys that she pulled from a closet.” She shrugged. “But as you can see from the teeth marks, she loves it.”
“She is going to need a new name before we introduce her to any of the girls.” Leah shook her head.
“Do we? It just seems to fit so well.” Alessia whined.
Leah leveled her with a glare.
“Fine.” Alessia rolled her eyes. “Martha, do you take donations or anything to help take care of these little ones or other fosters.”
“I personally don’t. I’m fortunate enough to be able to have a few fosters at once and manage. But if you would like, please donate to the shelter that sent you my way. They’re the ones that need the most help.”
“I will do that then.” Alessia smiled. “Alright McCabe. Are you ready to go see your new home? How about you, Little?” She scratched behind the ear of the pup in Leah’s lap before standing up with McCabe in her arms. Leah followed suit with Little in her arms.
Martha handed the items for each puppy to the footballer that was holding them. She leaned in and placed a kiss on top of each dog's head. “You behave.” She said to McCabe. “And keep her out of trouble.” She said to Little. “Right. I’ll get the door.”
Leah and Alessia followed Martha to the door. “Thank you so much Martha. It was a pleasure meeting you. And we’ll be sure to post plenty of pictures to keep you updated.” Alessia started.
“Yes, thank you very much.” Leah echoed.
“I can’t wait to see the official announcement with the names you pick.” Martha opened the door. “It was lovely meeting you both. Take care.” She remained on the porch and waved as the couple drove away.
On the way home, they made a stop at the pet shop for essential supplies. Mostly. They got a playpen to help contain the pups in the kitchen, or outside until they were a bit bigger, pee pads, puppy training treats, collars, harnesses and leads, and half the toy aisle. Alessia wanted to let the dogs have anything they picked. So every single toy that McCabe picked up and thrashed about went into the trolly. Little had picked up a single toy and carried it throughout the entire shop and car park as she sat in the trolly.
“We should have got that carrier that holds the dog to your chest like a baby.” Leah said as she held tightly to a wiggling puppy. “McCabe, seriously.”
“Here.” Alessia grabbed one of the toys they had purchased and handed it to Leah, which was swiftly snatched by the black pup who began thrashing in the defender's arms. “Calm down Stitch.”
Leah stopped walking. Alessia stopped the trolly a few steps later, turning back to her girlfriend. “What?” The striker asked over her shoulder.
“McCabe is Stitch. And Little is Lilo.” Leah looked at each pup as she said the names.
Alessia looked between the dogs and Leah. “Oh my gawd, Le! They are!” She scooped the caramel colored puppy out of the trolly. “What do you think Little? Hmm? I think Lilo would be a perfect name for you. And she.” She turned towards Leah and the other pup. “Is definitely Stitch.” Alessia took a few steps to Leah. “Lilo and Stitch, yeah?”
“Lilo and Stitch.”
Alessia gave Leah a quick kiss. “Come on. Let’s get the car loaded.”
The couple continued through the car park and loaded their items into the boot. Each pup still holding on to a toy. When they were settled into their seats, Alessia pulled out her phone. “Hold Stitch for a sec, Le. I want to send a pic to the girls.”
StarGirl23: jpeg.
StarGirl23: Anyone want to come over and meet Lilo and Stitch?
52 notes · View notes
shitpostdevil · 2 days
Text
Am I Allowed to Cry?
(((SatoSugu one shot)))
Tumblr media Tumblr media
Drowning in the Blue Nile
He sent me "Downtown Lights"
I hadn't heard it in a while
My boredom's bone-deep
This cage was once just fine
Am I allowed to cry?
‘Why didn’t you chase him?’ 
The words echo in my mind, 
haunting me as I stare 
at the bare wall of my dorm room 
where photos used to stay. 
It was my responsibility as a jujutsu sorcerer 
to stop exactly what Suguru caused. 
His smile was so soft. 
He knew I wasn’t going to understand 
and he didn’t even try to convince me. 
He was always like that this last summer. 
Something in him changed after Amanai died. 
I’m pretty sure he had thought I was dead too 
from the look on his face 
when I walked into that room holding her corpse. 
I knew I had changed. 
Being on the brink of death will do that to a person. 
I grip my bedsheets, 
gritting my teeth at the tears 
that burned their way out of my eyes 
against my protest. 
All I remember after that is screaming 
until I heard Shoko’s voice.
“Give him space, 
get out of here! 
Gojo, hey, Gojo-”
I dream of cracking locks
Throwing my life to the wolves or the ocean rocks
Crashing into him tonight, he's a paradox
I'm seeing visions, am I bad?
Or mad? Or wise?
Do we still talk? 
It would be unwise to indulge the answer to that. 
How they haven’t found me out yet? 
I have no idea. 
They must trust their golden boy enough 
to not assume that he would be 
in the bed of a criminal after long missions, 
dressing my wounds, 
always stretching out the time. 
He explained himself. 
Adopted two little girls- 
I can’t blame him for doing what he did, 
but I would never say that out loud. 
This world is… horrible. 
We know that better than anyone I suppose.
What if he's written "mine" on my upper thigh only in my mind?
One slip and falling back into the hedge maze
Oh, what a way to die
I keep recalling things we never did
Messy top lip kiss, how I long for our trysts
Without ever touching his skin
How can I be guilty as sin?
Staring at my phone screen, 
my scrolling through pointless pictures 
paused by his text; 
When are you coming over next? 
Simple, but he always did get straight to the point. 
My finger absent-mindedly twirls 
around the black cat phone charm that he got for me- 
something I had claimed I’d won in a random gacha pull, 
but I knew the truth and that’s all that mattered. 
Part of me needed him with me, 
even if I couldn’t admit it. 
I want to drop everything and run to him 
every 
damn 
time. 
Soon. I text back, 
locking my phone and letting my arm drop, 
painted fingertips grazing over sheets 
he will never see again.
I keep these longings locked
In lowercase, inside a vault
Someone told me there's no such thing as bad thoughts
Only your actions talk
“How long are you going to do this, Gojo?” 
Shoko quizzes me, 
her face holds a touch of disapproval 
but not disappointment. 
I just look at her. 
Does she really expect me to give an answer for that? 
Until the day I die. 
I want to say. 
Want to scream.
I can’t even give an actual answer 
because all that would give is 
confirmation that I still see the ‘traitor’. 
She knows. 
She has to. 
She… saw how badly it broke me- 
feelings I never want to unleash again. 
“What are you talking about?” 
I finally ask, 
eyes begging her to drop it through sunglasses. 
She just pulls out her cigarette box silently, 
flipping the top open 
and holding it in my direction, offering. 
I take one.
These fatal fantasies giving way to labored breath
Taking all of me, we've already done it in my head
If it's make-believe
Why does it feel like a vow we'll both uphold somehow?
“S-Satoru~” 
His liquor soaked breath stutters in the dark 
as I work my art on him, 
messy kisses to the insides of his thighs, 
leaving marks that will only be known to us. 
His hands are tangled in my hair loosely, 
tightening every moment he feels good. 
He refuses to be quiet, 
but I couldn’t complain. 
“A God amongst men, 
and you’re begging for me.” 
I state breathlessly, 
smirking up at him. 
He just hums in pure amusement.
“You always were so cocky~” 
he chides, 
hips bucking when my lips find his leaking head.
“You were saying?” I ask.
“Mm-mmm~” he says as he pushes my mouth onto his cock. 
I can’t help but give him what he wants.
What if he's written "mine" on my upper thigh only in my mind?
One slip and falling back into the hedge maze
Oh, what a way to die
My bedsheets are ablaze, I've screamed his name
Building up like waves crashing over my grave
Without ever touching his skin
How can I be guilty as sin?
Shoko notices the hickey I tried my hardest to cover 
almost immediately. 
Deny. 
Deny. 
Deny. 
“The girl I was with wasn’t really as careful as I asked her to be.” 
I bluffed, laughing. 
Her eyes questioned deeper, 
but not her voice. 
What if I roll the stone away?
They're gonna crucify me anyway
What if the way you hold me is actually what's holy?
If long-suffering propriety is what they want from me
They don't know how you've haunted me so stunningly
I choose you and me religiously
“You know this can’t last forever Satoru.” He says. 
I clench my jaw. 
Of course I know that. 
Why did he feel the need to bring this up again? 
His hands are so gently painting my fingernails black. 
It was his way of being intimate without having to admit it. 
I secretly loved having any trace of him on me that I could get. 
I don’t want to respond to him, 
I just want to stay here, 
at this moment. 
Forever. 
I never wanted him to stop holding my hands so preciously.
What if he's written "mine" on my upper thigh only in my mind?
One slip and falling back into the hedge maze
Oh, what a way to die
I keep recalling things we never did
Messy top lip kiss, how I long for our trysts
Without ever touching his skin
How can I be guilty as sin?
“At least curse at me a little at the very end.” 
His smile is still so soft even with blood everywhere. 
I just fall to my knees, 
eyes filled with traumas no one should have to see. 
“If I had noticed… 
If I saw how badly it destroyed you… 
would it have changed anything?” 
I’m speaking before I can think it through.
“Perhaps…” He coughs, breathing sharp, 
“But then again… probably not.” 
The tears are falling before I can stop them. 
“I’m so sorry.” 
I can't get my voice above a whisper.
“It’s not your fault, my one and only.” 
My one and only…
He sent me "Downtown Lights"
I hadn't heard it in a while
“Satoru.” 
The voice of a ghost speaks from behind me and I falter, 
if only for a moment. 
Suguru…? 
I turn. 
I’m trapped again, 
but this time it’s real. 
Is it really so bad to die if it’s at his hands? 
Horror written all over my face- 
that’s his body, but that isn’t him.
Am I allowed to cry?
My soul knows otherwise…
Tumblr media
31 notes · View notes
citricacidprince · 7 months
Text
Thinking about Psychonauts and how much I love the Aquato family once again
They mean the world to me your honor
Tumblr media
#They are a strange little family with so many issues and generational trauma and YET they still LOVE EACHOTHER#DO YOU KNOW HOW IMPORTANT THAT IS TO ME???#Nona; Augustus; Donatella; Dion; Frazie; Rasputin; Mirtala; Queepie-#I love you all and I owe you my life#DION AND DONATELLA ESPECIALLY; Y’ALL GET SO MUCH HATE FOR HAVING UNDERSTANDABLE NEGATIVE EMOTIONS AND IT DRIVES ME UP THE WALL :(#Aquatos get behind me; I’ll protect you from the people who think you abuse Raz and should just get adopted by Sasha and Milla#that’s a bad take and they should feel bad. like; he can still see Sasha and Milla and alternate parental figures; that’s fine-#But Raz; CANONICALLY; would NEVER give up his family; EVER#That boy would force everyone to have a heart on heart with him until everything is better because he DOES that in the GAME#When you talk to you family in Psychonauts 2 you can tell how much he loves them and how much they love him; even if it’s strained at the-#moment from how stressful the past THREE DAYS have been#YES EVEN DION AND DONATELLA#They love Raz so much!!! They’re both just going through it™️ atm and need time to clear their head: remember; everything that has happened-#has been in the span of 3 DAYS and their whole lives have been completely flipped upside down#I think they’re allowed to be upset; in fact; it would be weird if they weren’t#sorry this is word garbage I just love that family so much it makes me wanna drink paint#prince rambles in this chilies tonight#aquato family#psychonauts aquatos#psychonauts 2#psychonauts
131 notes · View notes
Text
hey other jewish people how are y’all feeling about people going ‘why don’t we all just convert to judaism’
440 notes · View notes
twilit-tragedy · 1 year
Text
And what’s funnier is that the prophecies DO come true. It’s just that characters made the wrong assumptions about them. A man wielding a spear leads the armies at Ragnarök and a bearded, bald man dies in Atreus’ arms. Brilliant.
“Fate only binds you if you let it”- no, but, actually. The characters kept saying it but only in hindsight do I realize how deep it goes. Truly the best way forward, even with some hint of the future, is to proceed as you would regardless. Make your own story and ignore if it matches the prophecies or it doesn’t. Or else you end consumed by thoughts of it (cough, Odin). And in the end it’ll come somewhat true without the details that YOU projected onto it.
83 notes · View notes
yellowvixen · 1 year
Note
Hi um so I have a small question you don't need to answer but do you have any advice for new artist
hello!! first of all thank you for asking me, it means a lot!! sorry for leaving this for a few days too, i wrote this all up and then forgot to post is djgjfhsg
so, this is probably annoying advice you've heard before but genuinely? practice!!! try to draw every day, even if it's just for a little bit. also, draw from life! even if your own style is more cartoony (or you want to start drawing cartoons), drawing from life helps develop your hand eye coordination and will help you actually draw what you see in your mind. if you have any art galleries or museums nearby, take a pad of paper and a pencil along and draw the paintings and statues. if you can't do that, hell even get a bowl of fruit and draw that! if you're really set on drawing people then take a selfie! a pic with your friends! it's not cheating to draw from photos, real people move around too much to draw sometimes lol. if you want to develop your own style, look around and see what you like about others! for use of practice, copying art can be fine as long as you don't claim it as your own and if you want to post is then ask permission
another useful thing is to watch process videos! that way you get to see exactly how other artists do what they do. eg how is the line art done- one quick stroke or many short strokes? pay attention to colours too, lighting and shading is weird! shadows aren't just black, one colour can look completely different depending on its surrounding colours and stuff like that.
if btw, i completely misunderstood and you're a new artist to tumblr, not a new artist in general (although if you're asking here, you might be both), my advice for that is to tag your art properly! timings don't really matter (if you're really pressed you can schedule your posts- i do that lol) but tags allow other people to find your art! make sure your tags are relevant: the piece of media, the characters, the ship name if applicable. don't tag characters that aren't in the drawing! other good tags to include are stuff like "art", "artists on tumblr", "fanart" etc. it's also a good idea to have your own art tag, this can be as simple as "my art" (it won't get mixed up with other people using that tag, as searching on your own blog won't include posts on other's blogs) or something more specific like mine which is "vixenart" lol
i hope this will be even a little bit helpful for you :] but remember i am just one person with my opinions! you don't need to follow my advice at all, it's just from my own experience and what has helped me over the years, everyone's different!
15 notes · View notes
alteredphoenix · 3 months
Text
There's a part of me that definitely would like to do Kagurabachi fics but it's still too early to do so (at the time of this post, we're 19 chapters in) when events are focusing on the now (re: post-Sojo fallout, the Rakuzaichi auction and the Sazanami family plus Hakuri) and the worldbuilding is spoken of and hinted at but is still in the process of laying down its foundations.
3 notes · View notes
makerofmadness · 5 months
Text
tbh I fxcking hate a lot of posts I get on my dash about fat stuff and I say this as a fat girl. Like no I'm not gonna fxcking kill my maman for calling me her little chunky monkey that's comforting for me I like it stop trying to take happiness away from me stop trying to tell me how I should feel about it my maman loves me and I love her. Maybe words like "chunky" and "chubby" are a matter of personal taste and you shouldn't just say that they're bad when some people might like them (like I do), but you can still establish boundaries and say if you don't want others to call you that those things can coexist just don't try to say that everyone should be mad if anyone ever says those words of that no one should ever use them. "You don't have to say chunky or chubby you can just say fat" Let me be happy. Just let me find my own happiness I'm not hurting anyone I'm not hurting you.
Maman calling me chunky affectionately never hurt me or anyone it made me feel warm and it still makes me feel warm it's comforting for me. The only shzt that's made me feel bad about my weight happened recently and it came from ANOTHER FAT PERSON who I had at first thought as a friend but long story short has continually been really fxcking weird about me and my stomach basically always bringing it up in conversations saying how he wants to RUB IT. Something about how apparently he thinks my stomach looks like it's in pain or something. like bruh no it's not the only pain I'm feeling is fxcking psychological after all of this. This is the only thing that's made me actively want to LOSE my body fat/have a smaller stomach, because I just want him to stop treating me like I'm just a walking talking stomach.
maman never did this to me. She made me feel loved. She didn't make me feel like a freak. But according to the posts I saw SHE would've been the enemy because she calls me chunky and sometimes she makes me exercise (because we have type 2 diabetes in the family. From her own maman. And she wants me to be healthy and happy). But she never makes me feel horrible for my size or my weight. But that other fat student at my school does. And we're supposed to have some kind of "solidarity." But he just won't treat me normally. And he won't leave me alone.
And now I just want to go home to my maman.
4 notes · View notes
homosociallyyours · 11 months
Text
Watched the final part of the VPR Reunion and wanna state my grossly unpopular opinion right out loud in the village square: I *do* feel bad for Raquel and I *don't* think Tommy Flip-flop has gotten nearly enough of the blame in this whole scenario.
And i kinda feel like in 10 years if anyone is bothering to look back on this, there will probably be a lot of "it was a different time, you can't blame anyone for being harsh on her" talk. I reject that shit right now.
4 notes · View notes
pepprs · 1 year
Text
also (this is it i promise) this is why i am so INSANELY excited to have my own room soon. like omg. it is definitely not perfect bc it’s at home and there’s a breaker box in it and you can hear footsteps really loud through the ceiling and also again *it’s at home* when i really need to not be living at home. but the quality of life improvement i am about to have is actually INSANE. i will be able to have a space far away from everyone else where i can sing without bothering anyone and play piano and decorate it (mostly) to my liking and have a desk and draw and paint and do whatever. finally!!!!!!!! that is going to fix me!!!!!
#purrs#i just wish it was permanent or that i had more years to spend in it. like i actually just want to find the place where i will live forever#and just stay there bc oh my GOD am i tired of living in places temporarily. i have so many issues w that bc so many spaces that were#formative for me have been destroyed (e.g. the van 😍😍😍😍 and my grandparents house 😍😍😍😍 and my favorite hs teachers classroom 😍😍😍😍) or are#going to be destroyed (e.g. the office where i work rn 😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍) or ive had to leave them and move out bc they’re inherently temporary (e.g.#my on campus room 😍😍😍😍 and my room in brighton 😍😍😍😍😍😍). and ive had attachment issues w space / location : whatever my whole life like i wou#would have huge meltdowns whenever we were transitioning from like elementary school to middle school middle school to high school etc etc..#so i really just um. would like permanence and stability please. im 24. im done w school for now and maybe forever. i want to find a place w#where i can just like.. stay. so if im paying rent like something that would allow me to renew it indefinitely and not fear bei ng kicked#out randomly or at the end of a determined period. i just want a home lol i want a homeeeee and i want to decorate it with all my things and#never be afraid that i will lose it and get to stay there forever and ever or at least as long as i want. bc my parents already have plans f#for my new room after i move out and i won’t get to decorate it as much as i want bc my mom doesn’t want me to damage the paint. but like if#i have a place of my own then i get to decide a little ding in the paint is worth it to put up my lanterns. you know? idk. the mortifying#ordeal of experiencing freedom like thisfor the first time in my mid-late twenties probably 😍😍😍😍😍😍 but still its gonna be good and i hope it#happens soon and i have to MAKE that happen. so yeah.#wishlist#delete later#ok now im done for real THJS time lol. my mom is gonna be so pissed at me ive barely lifted a finger here. but im enjoying the quiet what ca#can i say!!!!!!!! like OMG ok last thi ng…. like she’s always saying i have to love myself first before i get into a relationship and it’s l#like.. maybe my living conditions do not predispose me to be able to spend time w myself in ways that allow me to love myself!!!!!!#maybe always being on the defense and needing to find quiet spaces all the time and being shamed for that is not a very good way to experien#experience myself in the place im supposed to feel most grounded and comfortable!!! so yeah.#like maybe i stopped doing all the things i loved bc you got alexa and loud speakers and started blasting music all the time and dominating#space and becoming more and more high maintenance… 😳 (and obviously i changed as a person / played a role in it too but again my point / re#realization is… maybe it was in RESPONSE to stimuli that were not good for me and not just bc i suck as a person / am losing myself / etc.)#like theeeee sonic warfare of it all. also my brother is a key player in it too bc he raps and sings at the top of his lungs and it’s like 🤨
17 notes · View notes
likeabxrdinflight · 8 months
Text
I'm gonna find a way to shoehorn Mary into this good omens fic if it kills me
#I can't think of any plot relevance I just want to write Jesus and his mom interacting#...also wanna write Mary pissed at Heaven because you know what? she deserves it#all my life Mary was depicted as this meek woman who just went along with whatever God asked of her up to and including murdering her son#and like you know what? nah#fuck that narrative#you're telling me a Jewish woman never screamed and raged at God for her son's brutal crucifixion? for being tortured by the Romans?#I'm not Jewish but everything I know from my Jewish friends tells me that screaming and raging at God is not only normal but expected#meek and mild Mary feels like a specifically Christian invention#this whole 'I am the handmaid of the lord' deal like I don't think 'oh btw this kid's gonna be killed in 30 years' was part of the deal#like the most famous depiction of Mary after the crucifixion is the pieta which is this very serene and docile image#and I'm just like...under no circumstances could that have ever been the reality you know#where's the paintings that show Mary's actual pain#where are the sculptures that are ugly#and why is this woman not allowed to be angry#she's only ever allowed to be sad but like in a pretty and docile and obedient way#as if anyone deserves to fist fight god in a denny's parking lot /more/ than Mary#..............and all of this would be character relevant for Aziraphale because he needs to really see how fucking terrible Heaven is#I just need a plot reason to bring her into it
1 note · View note
ankhisms · 2 years
Text
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
feeling the sad little pathetic creature emotions this evening suddenly. i dont really want to dwell in feeling bad but it is a familiar deep sad feeling u know. itll be ok i just have to let it out
#to the tune of ghengis khan dont wanna feel like nooo one believes in meeeeeeee im experiencing like. something thats#akin to my very specific paranoia of being paranoid of everyone secretly hating me and talking badly about me or thinking im horrible#secretly where its like my brain is telling me that no one believes in me including my friends and logically i know this isnt true. i have#so many people in my life who i love and appreciate and who have supported me through hardships and who i want to support#in turn. but thats the thing with my paranoia and delusions yknow i can be at least somewhat aware that im being irrational but in the end#that doesnt make it go away. and my brain is just like. no one believes in you when it comes to the creative things you want to do#like my art and acting and poetry. and then my brain tells me that the people around me just pity me and dont want to outright#say that everything i make or try to create sucks because they feel bad for me. and again i KNOW this isnt true. and i#feel bad and feel like im being unfair to my friends bc if this paranoia so i dony want to bring it up to anyone beyond venting like this#and also i feel scared that somehow bringing this specific paranoia up would be like guilt tripping people into like being nice to me or#somethimg my words are weird but my braim very much is like you are not allowed to ask for support or tell people about being insecure#and i do think this overall has something to do with my deep issues of completely lacking any confidence in myself or my abilities#which is due to a life time of abuse etc etc and its hard to build up any confidence in myself when i am still stuck in#my toxic home with no real options to get out at this point for various reasons. but its like#what if i just suck at the things i love to do? what if my art is just bad or mediocre even? what if im a bad actor or a bad poet? what id#even though i feel a deep calling within my soul to create and do these things what if even though i only ever feel truly alive#when i am acting or painting. what if none of it is any good. and no one wants to tell me that because they pity me#again. on a certain level i know this is all just my paranoia and is unreasonable. but its a feeling thats really hard to shake off yknow#anyway. thank u if you read this all i prommy ill be ok i just had to get it out 💖
12 notes · View notes
sunriseverse · 2 years
Text
would that i could do things in the correct order but instead now i’m thinking about and wanting to develop the religious lore of the unnamed tragedy. of which i have only written the forward. and don’t know the actual plot of.
2 notes · View notes
arthur-r · 11 days
Text
Tumblr media
actually so relieved to run into this weird vent art from like a week before my partner broke up with me and remember how i was actually profoundly unhappy when we were together. like i literally would have broken up with him within the next couple weeks probably. all it would have changed if he hadn’t broke up with me would be that a valentine’s day together would be a lasting painful memory. whereas our relationship is nearly managing to comfortably fade into background noise.
#this art is weird which is why i never posted it shdhdf but i figure it goes along with self-actualization/the silly stupid angel song#i remember the same time i drew this i had drawn a monster based off my now-ex (it’s in a notebook somewhere)#and i just kept drawing and giving it more evil attributes and thinking why am i doing this it’s supposed to be my partner#but like. my subconscious fucking knew. he was basically a demon feeding on my life force#anyway i’m a fan of the bloody keyhole in my chest cause that’s so real#i love when i write or draw something and then like. months later i finally get to the realization that i subconsciously clearly highlighte#like yeah he’s demanding symmetry from me (golden ratio) and fucking clawing to get to my secrets (keyhole) and expecting me to be this#idealized and appealing figure but also refusing to give me any actual affection in response like i’m just a fucking statue to stare at#and then idk i’m bleeding golden blood because WHY NOT shdhdf maybe there’s symbolism i figure out later but i think that part’s just rad#oh and of course a halo like from THAT ONE GUY WHAT IS HIS NAME paintings#i want to say like giorgio but that’s not right. WHO IS THE GUY WHO PAINTS THE GOLD HALOS#GIOTTO i looked it up it’s my best friend giotto!!!! i can’t believe i turned my back on him…. forgot his name…. anyway i love his halos#and i was halfheartedly emulating that while i was drawing shdhdf. so anyway that’s the story of this whole thing#but no it’s so good to notice that actually i was discontented and needed to break out of the pattern. cause like i don’t think i fully#understood that i’m ALLOWED to end something i’m not happy with. so even though i deserved to i wouldn’t have done it. so it’s a lesson now#i’m aware that it’s something i’m able to do and something that i should have done. and i’ll do it earlier next time. ANYWAY sorry for this#ex talk#vent cw#i’m so normal i promise. i’m actually getting really normal about it genuinely though. basically fine kinda sorta almost. shdhdhdf#anyway i hope everybody is doing well. sorry for just throwing stuff around every once in a while and being otherwise absent#lmk if you need anything anytime!!!! love and light /gen#me. my post. mine.#delete later#ask to tag
0 notes