#this picture has so many emotions

[moeblob]

I have fallen down the anime sports hole and landed on Eyeshield 21 and I'm so sorry I'm adopting all these kids.

(I was actually going to like. Hold off posting my silly sports anime doodles until after commissions but no I wanna share them now. It's hard out here being me who thrives off interactions and this show is like "hey what if we gave you lots of interactions and also a secret identity for MORE interactions".)

#eyeshield 21 #seijuro shin #sena kobayakawa #haruto sakuraba #ichiro takami #you might look at this and go Salmon please explain why you're drawing fanart for a football anime #and i cannot actually explain #not pictured is my undying love and adoration for the Ha-Ha brothers because they're great #im only on ep28 but please i care for them so much #me watching one say that a girl is his type: OH NICE I LOVE THIS I WILL SUPPORT YOU #me watching one suffer a fear of airplanes while on an airplane: SON YOU ARE DYING PLEASE NO KEEP LIVING #i have typed so many essays on discord to two people about the emotions this anime has given me #and its such a silly anime with funky moves with funny animations for the moves #but i actually really like it ??? like yes its about hs people playing football #but the fact the main character is an underdog #joining a team of two people thus making the entire team of now three an underdog #who then continue to grow with MORE underdogs being recruited #its actually very impressive to watch the characters grow alongside sena #like they do actively show the kids interacting in various ways and its a delight #the anime is just a bunch of good boys playing a game and having a good time bettering themselves #and i say this like im an expert when im still just ep28

[good-beanswrites]

And here's one with Weak for Fuuta and Amane, for anon! I've recently been going crazy over some ideas from posts about Fuuta and food and he and Amane's relationship, and they came together perfectly with the prompt -- thank you for the request 👀👀👀

“Can you be quiet for one minute?” 

Fuuta spun around from where he’d been complaining loudly about the food, with his mouth full of it, to find Amane glaring from beside him.

“I’ll do whatever the hell I want,” he said through bites. He paused to swallow, though. And take a sip of his drink. And then forgot was he was talking about anyway.

Amane returned to mouthing a blessing over her food. The annoyance in her expression melted away to serenity as she brought her hands together. Fuuta watched as she drew herself up. Then she ate calmly. He could have crumbled in shame, right then, at the thought of this tiny kid holding up better than himself. 

She, too, had experienced the punishments that came with their verdict. Restraints pulled so tight it’s hard to breathe. Long nights of maddening voices and watchful eyes. The smaller meal portions leading to shaky limbs. Fuuta spent every meal inhaling as much as he could as soon as he could -- and here Amane sat as if she had a perfectly content stomach. Through everything, she maintained her strong gaze and commanding voice.

Fuuta reminded himself she did have a few advantages over him. She still had all her eyes and ribs intact, for one. It was difficult to give someone a convincing stinkeye with only one eye.

While he continued shoveling down his meal, he noticed her separating things on her plate. The meat in the corner went completely untouched. 

The aforementioned treatment had made him irritable -- more irritable than usual, that is -- and he jabbed his utensils at her. “Hey, we talked about this. Eat your fucking meat. I’ve been eating my vegetables, yeah?” Not that he wanted to. He would have eaten just about anything they put in front of him if it kept the gnawing hunger at bay.

“It’s against my beliefs,” she said simply. 

“I thought suicide was, too.”

She raised her chin. “I’ve known plenty who have fasted and become stronger for it. This is nothing drastic.”

Fuuta grit his teeth. He’d witnessed his fair share of internet-goers who acted cruel about another’s religion. He wasn’t about to join them in being some piece of shit who forced her to do something that was against her code. But there was no way he was going to sit around and watch her starve herself, either.

He couldn’t blame Amane for how harshly she’d refused help from the others -- they coddled her, encouraging her with sweet talk, or tried an insufferable stern parental tone. Fuuta wasn’t cut out for any of those methods, anyway. What he did know how to do, however, was make threats. 

Even if Amane didn’t fear death, he knew there was one situation she would do absolutely anything to avoid. 

“Oi, if you get any weaker, Shidou’s gonna step in.” Her frown twitched. “He’s already harassed me and Mahiru about our meals. He saw my hand shake one time and hasn't stopped hounding me about it since. The minute he can tell you’re not eating enough, he’ll be all over you. And let me tell you, you’re not very subtle about it.” 

The final statement came out with more bite than intended. Maybe he was bitter that she was at least more subtle than him. Maybe he thought it was fucked up the way she, too, had grown visibly weaker. Maybe he was just hungry and tired of talking. He attacked another mouthful of food. 

Amane was searching her plate as if the answer could be found there. There was a long silence as she contemplated. Fuuta had thought he’d won until she shook her head. “No. I can’t.”

He rolled his eyes and head in an over dramatic show of exasperation. “So stubborn!”  When he was done chewing, he picked up his plate. “Fine.” He gathered up all that was left, dumping it onto hers with a flick. 

A fire ignited in her gaze. She shoved the dish away. “I’m not some weak child to be pitied.”

“Wha–? It’s not pity!”

“You think I’m weak.”

“I think you’re hungry!”

“You don’t know anything!”

Mikoto passed by, chuckling as they raised their voices. “Look at you two hotheaded kids. Do I need to break it up?”

“Go away!” they chorused.

“Alright, sheesh…” He kept walking, leaving the pair to stew in silence. 

Fuuta didn’t have it in him to fight today. He was tired. He ached all over. If she wasn’t going to appreciate his help, so be it. He was starting to get used to his good intentions being taken the wrong way. It looked like he was just the weak one, after all. He grabbed his empty plate and stood to leave.

“Fuuta.” Amane took a deep breath. “I am hungry.” She gestured for him to come back. Then she moved the meat from her plate onto his.

He eyed the offering, hoping his expression didn’t betray how desperately he wanted to scoff it down. “I’m not some asshole who’s gonna take your food.”

“You’re not taking it. I’m giving it. I would have thrown it out otherwise.” Amane picked up some of the vegetables. “In return, I will eat this. We both must stay strong for the ordeals ahead.”

After a moment of hesitation, Fuuta sat back down. He took a bite. Neither said a proper thank you. Neither needed one.

He glanced to Amane with a smirk. “Good. This way, we’ll both keep that geezer Shidou away.”

It was only for a moment, but for the first time since the second trial began, Fuuta could have sworn her lips slipped into a small smile. 

#milgram #fuuta kajiyama #amane momose #oh yeah it also references that minigram/timeline about her not eating meat and him not finishing his vegetables #the fuuta/food one was from a bit ago but its been in my head again after his timeline convo making sure haruka was eating #thank you for the request ahh this was so much fun :D #ive had so many amane thoughts with purge march coming up - and its always a good day to get emotional over fuuta dsfdsfds #i always thought their timelines were really interesting with how calm she is and how completely wracked with anxiety he is #i think hed be pretty aware and ashamed of that #rip mikoto but i needed to show that they find kinship in being treated younger than they want because of their age+attitude 😂 #i picture a very sibling relationship for them #you dont really coddle your younger siblings the same you would with other kids #so they have a lot of respect and also frustration towards each other... #i actually think fuuta has a lot of respect for shidou too but can lean into his annoyance for amanes sake #ahh ty and i hope you enjoyed! #like i said this one was a lot of fun to write omg #drabbles

[dimiclaudeblaigan]

"yuri lowell is a manly heterosexual"

yuri lowell:

#DCB Comments #keeping this off my tales blog/out of tags bc i know the heteronormatives will come for me LOL #with their heteronormative v3speria dub (yes the dub actually altered/watered down #his relationship with a man probably bc it was too undertoney for them and western media is allergic to that) #not pictured in this post: the way yuri is used in official artwork with other tales characters #and is often surrounded by men. or the comic of him admitting he's popular with guys #also not pictured: the way yuri's alts for gacha games often feature flynn's color coding #and/or both of their color coding mixed into his outfit or accessories #also not pictured: the way yuri's wedding outfit alt is flynn color coded #also not pictured: the way yuri's bouquet in the other picture of his first outfit on this post #is almost identical to flynn's ''joke weapon'' bouquet of roses in the game #also not pictured: the entire gacha game of rays (that's based off respective game canon). i can't explain that to you in just tags #also yes yuri has a metal corset in that fourth picture. i don't... know many men who wear a corset #and the only other one i know in this franchise is in fact also the other main m/m pairing in the franchise #i also don't know many manly straight men who the character designers dress and style like this #i just want you all to know. if you're looking for a non heteronormative man. yuri has you covered #just maybe not so much in the dub just ignore that LOL. also worth mentioning that #japan gets a L O T of extra yuri material thanks to gachas merch and other official side material #everything in this post is official artwork and the last one is from this year #it's merch up for pre-order for t@lfes so yes they're still playing with his hair LOL #and yes if you ever pick up his game i am here to advertise to you not to play the dub (even tho the text will still sometimes be wrong...) #i am in fact writing giant lengthy posts abt it on my tales blog so i will not explain to you here in these tags #but the dub sapped yuri of so much emotion to make him seem cool and edgy and more of a troll #instead of playful fun and silly and just a dork but who is emotional when it matters #woe is them to let yuri's voice shake with heartbreak when he's worried abt a man! #i bet the localizers didn't even realize the entire opening theme song was abt yuri and another man and their relationship #maybe one day i'll make a fun post with all of flynn's color coding slapped all over yuri #also i BET there's someone out there who will see this and be like ''she's reaching'' #yeah i guess the official gacha game is reaching then too with how it treats yuri and flynn the same as the franchise's canon het pairs

[skitskatdacat63]

I feel like at least several times a month, I have a random insane revitalization of my love for The Smiths. Not that I ever stop loving them, but I'll listen to some song and then suddenly fall into this pit of just deep, intense love for their music again where I can't stop listening to their music on repeat and watching live performances and looking at pics like AAAAAHHHHHH WHY IS THEIR MUSIC SO GOOOD?????? WHY IS IT PERFECT?????? WHY WERE THEY SO GENDER???????

(songs I am feeling intense brainrot over rn in case you're curious: "I Want The One I Can't Have(live)", "Stretch Out and Wait(live)", "You Just Haven't Earned It Yet Baby", "Some Girls Are Bigger Than Others(demo)", "What She Said", "The Boy With The Thorn in His Side(live)"(p.s. I Want The One I Can't Have is Martian-coded to me, pls listen)(also it reminds me of that movie I watched yesterday)

#i want the one i cant have is playing on repeat in my brain rn and i watched a live performance and i was tearing up. why am i like this #the live versions of their songs are just incredibly good like at an insane level to me #i know the guitar is very complicated bcs my brother is equally obsessed w the smiths and rants to me abt how hard their music is to play #so the fact that their live performances are equal if not better than their studio versions is crazy #and i love the way he sings in live versions AAAAHHHH like just so over the top and dramatic #i absolutely love singing along to music and their songs are perfect bcs i can be as dramatic and loud as i want #and that hes singing perfectly and dramatizing it so much also while dancing along to it on stage?????? #their music has an energy to it in every single aspect that no other band will ever be able to reach for me #i spent so much of today just dancing along to their music and singing over the top. i just felt so joyful 🥹🥹🥹🥹 #GAAAHHHH sorry i just am really in it rn hahaha #its just crazy to me ig that ive listened to these songs so many times and they still fill me with such emotion #my mom sings and dance along w me tho shes like 'wow youre so energetic today did you hit your head or smth' 😭😭😭 #also was losing my mind looking at their pictures today and gahhhhhhhhb such gender envy their gender is unmatched to me #but its so funny every time i get gender envy over smiths era morrissey + #because theres some pics of my dad from that same period of time when he was younger where he literally looks exactly like morrissey #SIR WHY DID I NOT INHERIT YOUR LEVEL OF GENDER???????(my dad was a icon sjdkkd we look alike tbh) #anyways: i feel very joyful and energetic about their music. they just make me so happy and i want to dance around again 🥹 #i think this recent lapse into the pit was bcs i listened to the demos/live versions on The Queen is Dead deluxe edition #and im like ....how the fuck are they this fucking good?????? #hehehe tho my passion has affected others 🤭 #my brother is learning some songs on guitar atm and waxes poetic abt their instrumentals #my dad always listens to their entire discography when he needs background music. and my mom sings and dances w me #sorry this is unhinged i just feel a lot of serotonin bcs their music and i need to infect other people LMAO #maybe i need to make another web weave #catie.rambling.txt

[catis15]

This has me in a literal fucking chokehold

#like UGH #also this made me feel so seen as an artist who also loves to write (but im not nearly so good at it as i am drawing lol) #i find i have to draw something first before writing it #or when i am writing i can only fathom how much easier it would be to draw it #how much more i could put into a drawing #and yet there are so many things i can't quite put in a picture that i only wish i had thr words for #that i want to write and pass on #with both i want to make people feel #so yeah anyway this shit has me in a chokehold #and i desperately want to DRAW it because its already WRITTEN and i feel it needs its companion! #also how sounds abd music can be something too??? #like #hwkwbskanwka #all forms of expression have me in a chokehold and jesus i wish i could properly convey the emotions it gives me #art #writing #artists #writers #feelings #noticing #emotiion #fuck spelling ig

[loverofallthingssmart]

trying to listen to mitski when u haven’t had the time to sit down and listen to her new album is like dodging bullets in real time

#every time i hear an unfamiliar tune it is an IMMEDIATE SKIP #i need to DIGEST that album need to ABSORB it bc i KNOW it will kill me. #but like. i can’t NOR listen to mitski. so it is so rough. #also my dad had to clean out his office and the sheer AMOUNT of artwork i have given him when i was little is isnane there’s so much #they’re all horribly colored and half of them are like coloring pages i cut from a book but they’re WONDERFUL and sentimental and i love it #so much. HLSBDJE i was plastered across ky dads office pictures of me artworks like everywhere no one ever doubted ny fathers love. #my dads currently lamenting over how my brother didn’t give my dad anything while looking at all the papers he has from ne #that also makes me emotional. but like there r SO many pics of me u guys everywhere in the house in my room at my dads office #i was in DEMAND as child. and now i barely even take photos 😔 #HELP just realized the whiplash u would get from this post. did u expect anything less from me

[itspileofgoodthings]

literally sometimes my brain won’t work right when I am under stress or anxiety or just riding waves of turmoil but it still keeps going through the motions of working—grinding, whirring, spinning, turning etc etc etc. but all unproductively—and so I have to take my brain and put it on ice like “you CANNOT use this right now Maria it is not working right” and then go do other things and it has been the hardest thing in the world for me to learn but also one of the most important lessons from this season I think. just to haul myself out of the pit of my own thinking and go look at the sky or some grass.

#I think of it in terms of putting it on ice/giving it to Our Lady #because the thing is!!! and I know how self-aggrandizing this sounds but. I’m very smart #like with my BRAIN #the gift is thinking. it’s analyzing #but when for other reasons I am under physical emotional mental spiritual stress #that just makes my gift of thinking worse #and it betrays me #and it paints the most vivid pictures and scenarios and stories #and there is this thread of truth trying to push its way through because I’ve really honed my mind to look for the truth #but it’s trying to operate in the dark and it CANNOT do it #and so it’s like. I just have to disengage from a problem #from trying to figure it out #I have to say to myself ���your brain isn’t working right now. set it down and go do something else’ #and just wait and trust #and because I have intense anxiety it makes me want to SCREAM to have to do that #it feels wrong and evil to set the problem down in any way #to not try to wrestle my way to an answer #but I just keep hitting so many dead ends in my mind that it has forced itself on my consciousness (finally) #that the smart thing to do is to not try to analyze right now #I need to surrender and get my bearings again and rest and heal #and then try to tackle the intellectual problem #these are mostly about internal spiritual battles I’ve been facing I know it sounds all vague #anyway life is crazy. my brain is a little broken. I cannot think myself out of …. well anything #it’s time to lean on other things #including the act of trust and a trust fall and setting down a tangled problem at the feet of Our Lady #and saying ‘here it’s yours’ #and it’s so hard because of course I sneak back in a second later and try to start untangling it again #like the naughty little kid I am #but that’s just part of the struggle. to KEEP not engaging. because I SUSPECT (underneath my fear) that if I leave it alone it will melt #and resolve into a dew of its own accord. things are like that. life is simple you know? let be. ANYWAY.

[bornonthelake]

pro tip: do not listen to time’s blur on vinyl unless you are ready to bawl your eyes out it’s too much

#shit got me thinking about my childhood too much and how #while i might not have had much of one it’s definitely over now #i swear something in that song be unearthing memories i didn’t even know i had #it’s like i’m watching ducks at the state fair again #and my friends are moving away and they keep coming and going until they stop coming and i didn’t have a group of friends until the 7th grad #and even that was dysfunctional as shit #and how we can’t get into the computer that has some of our oldest pictures #and so many things are on that camcorder and i don’t know where it is #and how i used to be a little girl and now i’m not even a girl at all anymore #and everything is just snapshots and there’s so few of them relative to the amount of life i’ve lived #time’s blur has come for so much of me already and it won’t stop coming and i’m moving soon #i’m moving this summer #from the place and people i’ve known my whole life #and i already don’t remember what any of them looked like the first time i met them #and soon enough i won’t remember what they look like at all #time’s blur really does come for us all doesn’t it #anyway sorry for getting emotional on main #the things lord huron does to a guy

[rainbow-sparks]

woah improvement???? :00

these are redraws of these

top ones are from Nov 30th 2022

old Greg is from like Jan 4th 2022 and old Beth is from like March 27th 2022

#I actually used a reference from the resent Beth picture #she looks a lot less happy because of how my hc have evolved #(what I mean by that is Elizabeth gets tormented by her brothers; Micheal's just an teen who never learned how to express emotions unless #through violence *YES I'M PROJECTING STFU D':* as for Crying Child; it's because jealousy *Mom loves her hates him* and just because Mike #has been doing the same to him since he was able to crawl :// Mike; William; and Lora*Mrs.Afton* all despise CC because another hc I have #*SA mention in this hc* CC was conceived from Lora's ex fiance assaulting her :/ he was arrested but CC looks like the pathetic man so... #constant reminder :/// oh well) #PROBLEMS WITH THE OLD DRAWINGS WHOOO; Gregory's face shape is a fucking circle and his hair looks like scribbles #SOME OF THE LINES DON'T EVEN CONNECT??? Same with Beth!!! I mean the face is a bit better but that's it #the bows don't match the shirt; cold colour warm colour; doesn't fit #also the shade of red looks horrible in it #I mentioned in the original post that she looks like Glen; Chucky's kid; I still think that #Gregory's old shirt is so ew #just ew #:/// #why so many bandaids? I like the stickers though snickers are cool I like stickers:))) #wait wait wait why does he old have one ear??? :$ #I don't remember the time for the old ones (probably about an hour or so each) but foe the recent they took like 2 hours :// yaay :/ #I spent most of today drawing or trying to get enough of those stupid star things so I can do the last level on world 4 for super mario 3d #world (idfk know why the things are called; I haven't read much and haven't bothered to look it up; probably should though ://) anyway I #need 50 of them by only have...28? 20 somethings maybe 30 if I forgot to check becfore I turned the game off last time...idk man #I have been to school in 2 days which I'm fine with tbh but my dad is probably gonna make me go tomorrow (it's 10:44 as I type this so it's #not December yet; I don't have to say today; it isn't 12 yet) #I missed a while week once like the first week of November #:// anyway #the thing in redraw Gregory's picture is the panel of botton you use to repair Freddy #gregory fnaf #elizabeth afton #gregory fnaf sb

[kiwikipedia]

[wip]

#kiwi will be like [sees picture that has so many emotions] 'yeah im redrawing this but with cin' #the pieta was first #now the priest and the dying soldier #penguinkiwi wips

[pastellmochi]

i need to talk about tomorrow netflix or i will explode (spoilers for episode six in the tags)

#I AM IN TEARS #I LITERALLY CANT LOOK AT LEE YOUNG-CHEON WITHOUT BAWLING #I DONT EVEN KNOW WHERE TO BEGIN I WAS TRYING SO HARD NOT TO CRY BECAUSE I WAS WATCHING IT W OTHER PEOPLE BUT #TOMORROW IS SO GOOD LITERALLY LIKE IT ABSOLUTELY NAILS BITTERSWEET EPISODES #GENUINELY WATCHING THE WAR SCENES #AND WATCHJNG THE SCENES WITH DONG-CHIL I HAVE NEVER FELT SO MISERABLE AND AWFUL #THE BACKSTORIES FOR CHARACTERS ALWAYS FEEL SO HUMAN AND RAW AND REAL AND NEVER FORCED OR STUPID #AND OFC I EXPERIENCE SK MYCH JOY EVERY TIME KOO RYEON BEATS THE SHIT OUT OF SOMEONE #TOMORROW HAS SO MANY BEAUTIFUL SCENES LITERALLY JUST YOUNG-CHEON AND JOON-WONG TAKING PICTURES MAKE SME SO EMOTIONAL. AND THE SUNSET SCENE #AND KOO RYEON AND YOUNG CHEON SCENE OH MY GOODFDDUDJSPZLSMQM 😭😭😭😭😭😭 #I LOVE HOW MUCH THIS SHOW IS ALL ABOUT HUMANIZING RVERYONE INCLUDING THE JADE EMPEROR AND GRIM REALER GUY #I STILL HATE HIM BUT #FUCK THIS EPISODE IS SO GOOD AND EMOTIONAL I LOVE TOMORROW SO MUCH I WANNA CRYYY #I RLLY JUST LOVE HOW THIS SHOW IS SO OPTIMISTIC AND SWEET AND HOW THEY HAVE JOON-WOONG EXPRESS HIS EMOTIONS #IDC WHAT ANYONE SAYS I LOVE THE POWER OF FRIENDSHIP AND EMOTIONAL HAPPY AND STUPID PROTAGS OVER VILLAINS ISTG #BUT THIS SHOW IS SO GOOD AT BEING EMOTIONAL AND RECOGNZIING ISSUES BUT WITH A POSITIVE OUTLOOK AND EMPATHY FOR EVERYONE #TOMORROW DESERVES EVERYTHING LITERALLY

[fagdykebassboy]

im so so so fucking excited for this thing to be written (i have to write it 😔😔😔😔😔) i keep getting ideas and things keep popping into my head i just need to post this first chapter so i can get the fucking ball rolling

#wip #<- it still doesnt have a title yet i gotta fix that #Im having so so so much fun. And then i go to actually write it and i wanna throw myself off the roof #<-favorite ‘alternative to kill myself but it has the same emotion’ lately btw #but anyways #I have soooooo many ideas i keep picturing new scenes and it have to go stand in the corner and silently scream at the wall #I am having an amazing time i love love love writing there is so much wrong with me :D

[vadlings]

Represention of Autistic Frustration in Laios Dungeon Meshi

Like many other autistic people, I related strongly to Laios Touden while reading Dungeon Meshi. This post isn't going to spend time disputing whether he displays autistic traits or not—while I could do that, I want to focus on why specifically his portrayal struck a chord with me in a way the writing of most other autistic-coded characters has not.

Disclaimer: as the above suggests, this post is strongly informed by my own experiences as an autistic person, as well as the experiences of my neurodivergent friends with whom I have spoken about this subject. I want to clarify that in no way am I asserting my personal experience to be some Universal Autistic Experience. This post is about why Laios' character feels distinct and significant to me in regard to autistic representation, and while I'm at it, I do feel that I have interesting things to say about autistic representation in media generally. This also got a bit long, so I'm sticking it under a read more. Spoilers for up to the end of chapter 88 below.

The thing that stands out most to me in regard to Laios' characterisation is the open anger he displays when someone points out his inability to read other people. This comes up prominently in his interactions with "Shuro" (Toshiro Nakamoto):

The frustration pictured above (Laios continuing to physically tussle with Toshiro, using crude language toward him) becomes even more notable when you remember that this is Laios, who, outside of these interactions, is not easily fazed and often exists as a lighthearted contrast to the rest of the cast. Then we get to Laios' nightmare.

In Falin's words: "Nightmares love emotional wounds. Wounds you hold in your heart. Things that give you stress, or things that were traumatic for you. They aggravate memories like that and cause the dreamer to have terrible dreams." (chapter 42, page 10.) (damn. i'm properly citing for this post and everything.)

Thus, Laios' nightmare establishes an important fact: even if he is unable to recognise social blunders while he's making them, he's at least subconsciously aware that other people operate on a different wavelength to him, and that he's an outsider in many of his social circles (both past and present). His dream-father's disparaging words stress the impact this has had upon his ability to live up to the expectations set out for him, and we also get a panel of kids who smirk at him (presumably former bullies to some degree). Toshiro's appearance only hammers home how much Laios is still both humiliated and angered by his misunderstanding of their relationship.

I've thought a lot about anger as concomitant to the autistic experience. When autistic representation portrays ostracization, it's generally from an angle of the autistic character being upset at how conforming to neurotypical norms doesn't come easily to them; as a result, they express a desire to 'get better' at meeting neurotypical standards, a desire to become more 'normal' (whether the writing implies this is a good thing or not). In contrast, not once does Laios go, "I need to perform better in my social interactions, and try to care less about monsters, because that's what other people find weird." His frustration is directed outward rather than inward, and as a result, it's the people around him who are framed as nonsensical.

The Winged Lion starts delineating Laios' anger, and Laios' reaction is to think to himself, "It can sense all my thoughts, huh?" (chapter 88, page 16.) This is the scene that really resonated with me. I'm not saying I have never felt the desire to conform to neurotypical norms that is borne from insecurity, but primarily, I know that I don't want to work toward becoming 'normal'—I don't want to change myself for people who follow rules I find nonsensical. It's the difference between, "Oh god, why can't I get it," and, "WHY CAN'T YOU GET IT?" (phrasing here courtesy of my friend Miles @dogwoodbite). And for me personally, Dungeon Meshi is the first time I've seen this frustration and the resultant voluntary isolation from other people portrayed in media so candidly. Laios' anger is not downplayed or written to be easily palatable, either.

The culmination of Laios' frustrations in this scene wherein we learn that Laios has fantasised about "a pack of monsters attacking a village" drives home just how alienated he really feels. I need not go into his wish to become a monster himself, redolent of how many autistic people identify/have identified with non-humans to some degree as a result of a percieved disconnect from society (when I was younger, I wanted to be a robot. I still kind of do.)

Obviously, wishing death upon other people is a weighty thing, but the unfiltered nature of this page is what deeply resonated with me. The Winged Lion is laying Laios' deepest and most transgressive desires bare, and they are desires that are a product of lifelong ostracization by others (whether intentional or unintentional). This is the brand of anger I'm familiar with, and that my neurodivergent friends express being familiar with, but that I haven't seen portrayed in writing so explicitly before—in fact, it surprised me because most well-meaning autistic representation I've experienced veers toward infantilisation in trying make the autistic character's struggles easy for neurotypicals to sympathise with.

Let's also not neglect the symbolism inherent to Laios' daydream. "A pack of monsters attacking a village". Functionally, monsters are Laios' special interest—he percieves everything first and foremost through his passion for monsters. His daydream of monsters attacking—killing—humans, is fundamentally a daydream of the world he understands (monsters) overthrowing the world that is so illogical to him, that has repeatedly shunned him (other people). I joked to my friends that it's an autistic power fantasy, and it actually sort of is. And in it, his identity is aligned with that of the monsters, while his anger manifests in a palpable dissociation from the rest of humanity. This is one manga page. It's brief. It's also very, very raw to me. I think about it often.

To conclude, I love Laios Dungeon Meshi. This portrayal of open frustration in an autistic character meant a lot to me, and I hope I've sufficiently outlined why. Also, feel free to recommend media with autistic representation in the notes if you've read this far—I would really like to see if there is more of this nature. Thank you for reading. I'm very tired and should probably sleep now.

#dungeon meshi #dunmeshi #laios touden #shuro #toshiro nakamoto #the winged lion #autistic #autism #clay writes #i GUESS #this was so spur of the moment. im so busy right now i dont have time to be analysing laios touden #i wuont angry autistic rep..

[3hks]

How to Write REALISTIC and SMOOTH Dialogue

In a story, dialogue is quite important, it helps the readers paint a picture of what's happening and the characters themselves. However, it can be difficult to avoid the unnaturalness and choppiness that comes with a lack of experience. But luckily, I have put together A LOT of advice on how you can get over that rockiness and improve!

*** KEEPING YOUR DIALOGUE REALISTIC, AND PACING ***

>> Keep your characters in character:

Dialogue is a remarkably quick way for readers to determine your character's personality. Thus, you want their speech patterns to remain fairly consistent so the audience won't get confused. If your character is more serious, then they will use less slang and perhaps a more impressive vocabulary. If your character is more relaxed, they will use more slang and compress the words. (such as "dunno," "kay," "y'know," etc.)

Basically, you want their tone to match their traits so the way that they talk is more realistic and personlized to themselves. If the way all your characters speak is the same, there's something wrong. A strong tip is to put yourself in your character's shoes and imagine how they would respond!

>> Take the situation into consideration:

This is another part of keeping your characters in, well, character. Different emotional situations will have a different effect on separate people, so make sure that you have an idea of how your character will act during stressful, irritating, and sad times.

If your character is normally cold, they will struggle if it comes to comforting other people because they have less experience in that field.

>> Don't take too long with their words:

Unlike when narrating something, most people talk just to get the idea across. They will be more specific and quicker with what they say. (This excludes any character who likes to talk a lot.) Unless it's on purpose, they won't dance around the topic. Think of when you casually chat with your friends; you're pretty unlikely to use certain words and/or phrases that might be common to use while narrating.

If you want to explain something complicated, instead of writing out a paragraph of just one person talking, use a question-and-answer prompt! This is where another character continuously asks related questions that get answered by another person, so you can indirectly reveal your explanation.

*** HOW TO WRITE A SMOOTHER CONVERSATION AND DIALOGUE TAGS***

>> Having a variety of dialogue tags:

This is a pretty basic thing to look out for if you're new to writing conversations. Using words like "said," every other sentence can easily make it feel choppy and robotic. Instead, use words like "murmured," "smirked," etc. to paint some emotion into their words. Additionally, vary the location of the dialogue tags! They don't all have to go after the statement, you can include something in the beginning or even the middle, too!

Examples:

Beginning - She tilted her head, "What are you talking about?"

Middle - "Oh," he blinked, "I actually never thought about that."

End - "Wait up!" She exclaimed loudly, waving her hands around.

>> Using no dialogue tags to create a smooth conversation:

Having too many tags can also overwhelm your reader--remember, sentence variety is a crucial part of writing--so you can always drop them if they're unneeded. This applies when your characters (two is the suggested amount) are talking back and forth in a pattern straightforward enough for the reader to understand who's talking without it having to be labeled.

Dropping dialogue tags in these moments can create a smoother atmosphere during the conversation because the reader only has to focus on the talking present.

*** USING SLANG, STUTTERS, FILLER WORDS, AND PAUSES ***

Human speech is often not perfect; when talking, we often make mistakes such as filler words, grammatically incorrect phrases, etc. Hence, for more natural-sounding dialogue, it's important to incorporate some of these.

>> Pauses and stutters:

When reading dialogue, we read it at a steady pace unless it's written otherwise. However, that steady pace can soon get too robotic and too smooth. Luckily, there are several ways to change this! You can use dialogue tags, (ex: she quickly spoke) commas, and ellipsis (...). These are often integrated when the character is hesitant, nervous, answering something, or when they need to admit something. The same idea applies to stutters--they're mainly used to demonstrate anxiousness, which can be found in varying situations.

>> Filler words and slang:

Filler words can really just be used where you see fit. They may be used in the situations I previously mentioned (because it shows someone stumbling over their words) but it's ultimately up to you!

Slang, just like everything else, should not be used too often, or it will seem forced and exaggerated. The point is to sound natural, and increasing amounts of repetitiveness can ruin it. It's also important to remember that in real life, our conversations move slower; when someone speaks, another person usually doesn't respond quite literally, right after. However, in writing, dialogue can actually often seem that way, which is why using tags and these imperfections of speech is pivotal for building a realistic conversation!

*** CONCLUSION ***

Lastly, a key point when writing dialogue is to ALWAYS read the conversations! Whether it be in your head or out loud, it can often help you catch anything that seems off! Additionally, like I mentioned at the very beginning, write dialogue from your character's perspective! Imagine yourself as them and how they/you would talk. Try to keep your dialogue tags, sentences, and word use varied to create a natural conversation!

If you were struggling before, I hope that this (extra) long guide was able to really offer you some insight and useful tips! If you read this far, thank you!

Happy writing~

3hks <3

#writing #writeblr #writerscommunity #writing tips #creative writing #writing advice #writing inspo #dialogue #writing dialogue #writing dialogue tips #dialogue tips #how to write dialogue #how to write smooth dialogue #how to write natural dialogue #tips on writing dialogue #tips on writing smooth dialogue #tips on writing realistic dialogue #how to write realistic dialogue

[thebibliosphere]

There are a lot of things I'm sad about in my life. You don't get to go through the kind of medical trauma I've been through and come out unscathed on the other side.

But one thing I'm really bitter about is that I can't remember my wedding anymore. The pernicious anemia took it from me and wiped my brain clean. Except it's not clean, not really. I remember it in patches. Like red wine stains on a white rug that have never quite lifted out no matter how hard you try.

I look at the pictures on my bookcase, and they feel like remembering a story someone else has told me. There's a young woman in a white dress wearing my face, and she looks happy. I'm happy for her. But you can see the strain around her eyes, too. The pain she's hiding because no one with authority believes her when she says her body doesn't feel right. That something is Wrong.

They won't believe her for another decade. They won't believe her until it's almost too late, and it's that lateness that will rob her of her memories and turn them into a wavering rainbow suspended in the fine haze of watery sunlight that occasionally surfaces through the blanks.

There's one memory that's real, though. Solid. It's not my vows. It's not my father walking me down the aisle. (Though those are there, just hazy and dream-like). It's our first dance.

It's the lights dimming around the room as the staff cleared the floor, causing the fishbowls full of white roses and LED lights on the tables to wobble like pools of moonlight against dark paneled walls.

It's the band inviting us out onto the floor and us giggling because we know what's coming next, and no one else does. It's the twang of a banjo reverberating around the room through the speakers, followed by the dulcet tones of Kermit the Frog wondering why there are so many songs about rainbows.

It's us waltzing around the enclosed circle of light, singing to each other out of tune and grinning like idiots as everyone around us starts to laugh.

It's everyone joining in on the song because it's the Muppets, and everyone knows the words. It's 100+ people singing the Rainbow Connection, some laughing, some a bit tearful, because it's bringing back memories. Because it's making a new one.

It's looking up at my new husband through the brain fog and all the pain in my body and thinking, "I want to remember this moment forever."

I don't know what entity was out there listening to me at that moment and chose to grant that wish. I don't know why this is the one memory that stuck while everything else in my brain got decimated into scattered, fragmented snapshots. But I'm so, so thankful it is.

Though, I could have done without it randomly coming on my YouTube music out of nowhere to hit me in the emotions like a brick to the back of the head. Jesus Christ.

#chronic health tag #trauma and recovery #memory loss #happy memories #note to self: do not forget

[omgthatdress]

The Importance of Studying Queerness in Context.

When studying queer history, one always has to keep in mind two seemingly contradictory things: firstly, that queerness and queer people have always existed, but at the same time, that queerness and queer identities have not always existed the way they exist today.

Modern queer terms and identities did not exist to queer people in the past. They would not have thought of themselves as "gay" or "trans" or even "queer." While these modern terms may seem to fit certain historic individuals, these individuals would not have thought of themselves as such, and it would not be a part of their lived experience. To apply the modern identities of queerness to history is to erase the lives and experiences of queer people in history, and care must always be taken to understand queer history within the context of its time.

When looking at queer history online, there is a *lot* of misinformation and misidentification out there simply because people are eager to apply modern queerness to history, often in places where it doesn't belong.

A lot of old photos get misidentified as gay because they show two people of the same sex showing some level of physical affection towards each other. Okay, I'll admit that the open-mouth kissing photobooth pictures are probably actually gay, but an old picture of two men or two women holding hands or with their arms around each other, or even kissing on the cheek, were common shows of platonic affection.

I hate to break everyone's gay little hearts, but without explicit documentation saying so, assuming that these couples are all gay is putting modern queer identity in places where it simply didn't exist. The women in the final picture are sisters. The "not married" boys are bachelors interested in marrying women.

In the silent film Wings, the emotional climax of the film comes in the form of a kiss exchanged between the characters played by Jack Powell and David Armstrong. It often gets attributed as the first gay kiss in cinema history, even on the fucking YouTube clip I found:

Except it isn't gay. The two men spend the whole film fighting over who gets to be Clara Bow's boyfriend. When Richard Arlen's character is fatally wounded, his dear friend rushes to his side and kisses him goodbye, because in the 1920s, that was considered the ultimate show of friendship. The movie ends with Jack Powell falling in love with Clara Bow.

Similarly, a kiss shared between Lillian and Dorothy Gish in the 1921 movie Orphans of the Storm often gets attributed as being queer, but it wasn't.

They were sisters playing sisters. None of this was considered unusual.

Pooh-poohing on all of these images that so many people on the internet breathlessly and joyously laud as proud gay history isn't fun. It makes me feel like I'm fucking Ben Shapiro. But if misinformation is allowed to flourish, it allows people like Ben Shapiro to come in and make the argument that queerness is a modern invention and queer people didn't exist in the past.

Everyone loves to see queerness represented in history, but the fact is that none of the stuff in this post would have been seen as explicitly gay and thus shouldn't be called gay today. If we are to understand queer history in its fullness and richness, it is absolutely crucial that we get it right. We owe it to our queer ancestors to recognize, honor, and not embellish the actual lives they lived.

#queer history #gay history #lgbt history #queer #gay #lgbt #Youtube