#this picture is only cool to me BECAUSE thats real paint from a real thing. it wasnt put there to be 'artsy' or whatever

[s0up1ta]

OKAY FJRST. THE LITTLE DETAILS FROM THEIR CANON DESIGNS/YOUR PERSONAL DESIGNS BECAUSE THEY ARE CANON TO ME TO THE AU

not to be the chip guy but of course he comes first. chibos little beanie instead of the captains hat is SUCH a great touch !! the fact he still has his necklace and his long coat in a different more cover-up-slut approach makes me insaneeeee god he's so. Just like me frfr. you just drew me but if i had long hair and more bastard swagger that's so coolio bro what the freaksauce... ALSO keeping his belt and piercings make me to happy forever and ever but swagever ! Im normal ^_^ WAITTT also the "coverupslut" tits thing is really funny to me obviously he couldn't be walking around like that in the Real World because it's lame and doesn't support his transgender swagger but I really love how you kept his midriff and the teensiest tiniest little bit of a happy trail because he fucking WOULD wouldn't he. he WOULD fucking look like that. and !! speaking of speaking of that his black crop top thing works really well with both his style and his style of dancing which I think is so awesome sauce broski AND THE BLACK NAILS. THATS IMPORTANT can i get you to make something canon for me from one guy to another you're such a good friend and this isn't me buttering you up at all but on a totally separate note did you know you're hot and cool and all your art is amazing and you're talented and smart. could you make it so jay was the one to paint his nails and he complained forever and ever about it he wad so annoyed but he only complained more when the paint started chipping and he forced her to fix it. staring at you with autism eyes Btw

gillion design is so real forever and ever and I'm totally okay about it bro trust. absolutely LOVE the fact he kept his necklace too but instead it's framed as a gift from pretzel and made as a Kandi necklace :〕 it's so sick ANDDD THE WAY HE DRESSES !!! his baggy black tank-top and belt with the pants bro you Get It he fucking. Would look like that humanized wouldn't he. the bracelets and the also black nails (that. And Again, looking at you with begging and pleading autism eyes. jay probably had to act like she was just SO down to do and felt like it for funsies so she could teach pretzel when in reality chibo just begged her because he's a little bitch and really wanted to bond with gillion because he's an idiot and couldn't think of a better way. Also his paint was chipping and he was mildly annoyed) AND !! THE HAIRRRRR holy shit my friend tumblr user and mutual soup s0up1ta im losing my actual goddamn ever-loving mind over the way you drew his dyed hair it's so fucking pretty dude THE COLORRRRSSSSSS THE COLORS IM BEING POSSESED AND TAKEN AWAY. THE VIBRANCY SNATCHED MY SOUL AND GOT ME VAPORIZED LIKE IT WAS DAYBRINGER SOLOMON SAVE THE WORLD AND SUCK EACH OTHER VAMP4VAMP STYLE MY FINAL MESSAGE

Oh my god. And pretzel. soup im losing my fucking MINDDDDD over pretzel i know when you showed me the (theses aren't posted yet. i get to be in the Cool Exclusive Friend Club for. Asecond >:DDD) drawings of her with the biker helmet i lost my shit then but I need to lose it again. i lose that very frequently. The little patches in her jeans and clips in her messy hair and home-made bracelets covering every part of her body that they can and her big fluffy skirts that mimic her frogtopus arms that spread out and her overalls QND THAT ONE DRAWING. WHERE AHE IS PAINTING GILLIONS EYELINER ON IM. SOUP IM SHAKING YOU IM LOSING OT and also. Of course she would like bluey <3

Now onto the actual writing for just a second because I need to ramble on how well you fucking Captured the way it was written so perfectly because like. Holy fuck dude

Tigers being paired with you Definitely is the best possible outcome because you have created something for me to be Insane about. I could picture everything so vividly and i heard that one line where it was him going "I want you. I want you baby" and i just completely saw your drawing of them arms linked and extended and I lost my MINDD soup. spinning in circles and shimmying like a deep sea isopod ruffling up dirt on the seafloor look at me in my dead ass eye holes because i cannot express enough how much I love that. everything in this fic was pictured entirely in your style and I'm so fucking normal about that I promise. i LOVE seeing the little details you move from both cannon jrwi and your designs into the way they're drawing because, and I cannot stress this enough that this is a good thing, they all look like Them. normally with au's it's them slightly off or that's Them just in a different outfit but NOOO dude you got it so perfect. yeah that IS what they would look like that IS how they would dress and act and look and fucking DANCE bro 🗣🗣‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️

and finally just wanted to say the writing is sosososo good forever and ever but that's exactly what I would expect from Tigers101 the fnc guy and chip kisser themself alright not surprised in the least. and with the art being as amazing at going with it not nearly surprised it's sof uckign awesome seeing you grow and get more talented as an artist because DUDE !!!!!! HOLY SHIT YOU HAVE GROWNNNN its so awesome man

anyway leave you with this image

because i saw the part where chibo blushed and I pictured him in your style and i nearly whisper-screamed faggot out loud before catching myself because I'm tired <3 thank you for being you and so rad and sweet forever and ever and making the sick ass cool ass shit that you do im sohyped and so happy everytime I get. A message or a tag from you because I KNOWWWWW it means I get something to feast apon and i love it so much. already said it once but it's so nice i say it twice suck each other vamp4vamp style and save da world. my final message

I AM FRAMING THIS AND HANGING IT ON MY WALL FOREVER THANK YOU SO MUCH DUDE AUDHJSJSJDKFBJS 😭😭💕💕💕

#designing them all was SO fun bro im really happy i was able to translate them well into a modern au :) #genuinely had a blast with the outfits and accessories and ESPECIALLY designing a human gill and pretzel #like keeping some of gill's features i got going on in my design like his nose and hair and the tattoos being the skin markings #AND PRETZEL AUFHHS #i wanted her hair to be like the tentacles and to translate that unhinged 8 year old energy (i would know- i have a sister who's nine) #like the first thing i thought of was ponyo and i ran with that #and the jewlery jehdjejrhjrhf the beaded bracelets and necklaces pretzel and gill wear #and chip's little axe earring being a little more subtle but There #also incredibly small detail but he's got a mole where his scar is in his canon design so thats neat #but YEAH working on this has been such a blast and you can SEE how much ive grown just in the span of the months this has been going on for #like the one with gill putting his hair up is one of the first ones i drew and the one with them dancing is the most recent one #im so happy with how this has turned out and very excited for you guys to see the upcoming chapters because WE'RE NOT DONE YET BOYS >:))) #genuinely such a cool thing ive been able to work on dude im really happy people like it :) #s0up1talks

[rechenzentrum]

got tagged to do my top 10 songs that have been on repeat by @gliscor so heres... a selection from spotify on repeat playlist. and then some honorable mentions i pulled from my last fm :P that may or may not overlap with the ones from spotify because i wrote them down before taking the screenshotss

and now. the encore

pictures of you. "and i said no👿... and i said yes😈"

my friends made that solar winds track i need to relisten to that album

uuurrrgghhhhh i loooove Puzzle. cuz all i haaaaaavee is yoursss. standing in front of meee..... and the sections where hes not singing are so upbeat it makes for a real good contrast. and i enjoy his voice it almost sounds like conversational. urgh idk it just kinda fits the music. and overall i do think the notwist have a rather unique sound . so cool

Limitation of Lifetime... Hauschka released rhis track in the EP leading up to his latest album, on it was the track "Loved Ones"... but i do think i enjoy LoL over the latter, despite both being rather short and uneventful

what a shitty thing to say... djd you really mean it? elliott is really good at painting picture with words on this album and his use of chords and rests really enhances the way he leads the listener through every single musical journey

Your black hair is like black hair. My Hair is like a jerk's hair. I'm Not Like That.... and. the unapologetic approach to the composition and effects they had on this track. and the little details, how the dissonant choir is played in reverse the mext time its played, the way the dry vocal track is on one side and its reverb on the other. the loud snare thats clearly not just one sample constantly played back, but a continuous banging of the same drum over the course of the track. and the bass synth that only plays octaves. enamored captivated. urgh

so clever to view the good you have in you as something material, physical, so you can go to the doctor about it. clever . in its entirety this song does remind me of ... Bright Eyes

Randomly got this recommended to me by youtube, had it in my Watch Laters probably. listened to it on loop for a bit some time ago... good song

IF YOU SEE THAT MAN OF MINE TELL HIM ONCE FROM MEEEEE...... IF HE WANTS ANOTHER GIRL YES ILL SET HIM FREEEEE BOWLING GREEEEN.... going through this whole wide world i aint got no home...... i aint got no home bowling green...... ;(

im halluuuuuciiiiiiinaaaaatinggggg.... i want to hurt him....... my head is full of flames. i dont know . theres something so raw about starting your debut album with a song where you reveal that anytime you think about a certain man, you lose sight of everything, you get tunnel vision, you can only think of all the ways you want to hurt him because hes hurt you so deeply. you hear his name and you get so filled with rage you cant see straight, hallucinating. and it feels like your mind is racing, burning with anger, madness... i waaaanntttt to hurt himmmm.... ;,(

[best-fnaf-song-competition]

As of me sending this ask, A Pizza The Action is at 44.1% and I Can't Fix You is at 55.9%

A Pizza The Action is losing </3 so here's my propaganda >:]

I myself am a big TLT fan! I love their old songs, covers, remixes, and even TLT's newer songs! (Discord, September, Epoch, My Ordinary Life, Druck and all just a few faves that immediately come to mind for me) And AS a big TLT fan. I don't want the next round to be 3 TLT songs. I definitely don't want the finale to be ALL TLT songs

Also?? A Pizza The Action is SO SO good. It's so so good please go watch and listen to it.The production quality?! The Talent?! The Music Video?! The song itself?! It all SO GOOD

(And then listen to more Stupendium songs that aren't Fnaf bc they all slap. I love their Poppy Playtime song and I don't even like Poppy Playtime. The songs. And the costumes!! It's all so good it's so so good oh my gosh (other Stupendium songs I enjoy are The Most Fashionable Faction, What A Fowl Day, and sometimes I listen to the horror holiday songs for silly fun. And!! Android Hell Blues! Which doesn't seem to be on their channel but was written and composed by the Stupendium. Man I absolutely adore that one)

OK ok back to A Pizza The Action-

A PIZZA THE ACTION IS ONLY 9 MONTHS OLD!!! EVERY OTHER FNAF SONG LEFT IN THIS COMPETITION RANGES FROM 6-8 YEARS OLD!!!! A Pizza The Action is completely nostalgia free babey, so I'm always really proud of its progress as i know its something people aren't just voting for bc it's a familiar friend :,]

Additional notes:

1: I think it'd be really fucking cool if A Pizza The Action vs Fnaf 1 was the finale. Imagine. I wouldn't even care who won it'd be so fun

2: Sorry I keep insulting I Can't Fix You, I don't actually mind it all that much, but it killed alot of my faves, and I genuinely do feel like nostalgia has been affecting the votes for it (I think thats whats happening for pretty much any song that's 6+ years old so yknow) (don't take me seriously) (I'm just willing to die on really small hills) (and I love hating things) (I Can't Fix You is real good tho when I'm in the mood for it)

Additional propaganda (if A Pizza The Action wins)

1: More cat and kitten pictures

2: I'll show yall pics of my room which I have been working for awhile to paint like a fnaf location. I should have a floor by the time this poll is over (hopefully)

3: (bonus) I will Draw Cosmo and Circus Baby hanging out. I don't draw animatronics all that often so I can't promise much, but I will try my very best

Closing Notes: Music good. And goodnight

Okay at this point everyone has to vote a pizza the action just from the sheer amount of art people have offered to make if it wins oh my GOD

We respect artists in this house!!! Stupendium puts their whole heart into everything!!! If you didn't vote for a pizza the action please go appreciate the art that is the video and song itself because holy shit holy shit holy shit

Also! While we're talking about the other bangers they've made! My personal favorites are Find The Keys (it took me ages to realize the title was a pun and I'm an animator), The Fine Print (I don't even know the source material, the lyrics here just go Hard), and Why Did I Say Okie Doki? (HOW DO THEY SO PERFECTLY MATCH THE STYLE OF THE GAME WHEN MAKING VIDEOS also the song just slaps)

#stupendium if youre listening i love you #not a poll #ask #darling-dolly-darlene #totally forgot that you mentioned in the tags to remind you if you didnt send this as an ask #first of all thats my bad sorry #second of all 🥺 called by name in the tags? hello? friend?

[funeralcity]

man i need to move out to the city or something so bad i wanna stop spending so much time on the internet. its like a casino flashing lights with no windows so you dont notice itsbeen 20 hours since youve seen sunlight. its so thoroughly evil but also its the only way i have to hang out with so many dear and treasured friends but also the whole internet is literally a military psyop and always has been. but i know 2 people irl and one is 2 hours away from me and one is 4 hours away from me. but also i have control of my life. but also i have convinced myself that i dont have control of my life. but also i know that i have control of my life. but also i have spent several years of my life now in a tiny room and in many ways its my whole world but in many ways i am connected outside of it, i am bigger than the room i live in i flow out of it under the crack in the door and through the mesh of the screen on the window because its finally fall so its finally cool enough to have it open and its finally cool enough to go outside during the daytime and not turn into a disgusting sticky sweaty mess. i went outside for a walk today and it wasnt as long of a walk as i would have likedbecause i dressed too warm but it was still a walk it was still fresh air and breeze and feeling the sun being way too hot on my legs in my black pants and the refreshing breeze. i saw a pile of feathers on the ground something got eaten, something ate. i took a picture of it i liked it i want to try painting a pile of feathers on the ground because it feels like a story like a mystery that is unsolved andunsolvable maybe a real expert could look at the feathers and figure out exactly what animal got eaten but you cant find out what ate it where it came from before and where it went after i wonder if that is what my life looks like to other people. i have been told that i am mysterious but its like all people are mysteries all of life is mysteries thats why everyone should read umineko. i need to set rules for myself to make my life less of a mystery to myself i am alright with being mysterious to other people (irl people have told me they find it very alluring about me) but i need to know myself better and control myself better i think. and i also need to put my foot down aboutthings i want and things i dont want. i dont know what i want out of life really (obviously relaxing chilling smiling having a good time obviously i want these) but i am goalless and amorphous and formless in so many ways i barely exist i am a ghost on the fringes of my own consciousness. actually i dont think being a ghost is so bad but websites are a pathetic and terrible thing to haunt. at least i go out and haunt dark forests and cemeteries near my house late at night but thats still not really enough

[jeromefart]

ok so update, i just found zee and went back to pyloons saloon. i havent gotten very far but i just have so many things to say!!!!

ok so i dont know if i already mentioned this but i loveee the customization. its so in depth and i really like that you unlock small paint collections with a couple different colors/materials. and from there you can change every individual part and choose how polished they are, then you can change the ware overall. i love the vibrant coruscant color set so first, i made a silvery lightsaber with purple and pink accents with a purple blade. and same thing for bd-1. right now, i unlocked some more orangy colors so right now i have a brownish-orange saber with vibrant orange accents and an orange blade. might fuck around with it some more. and i am loving the tactical jacket that has a CAPEE. my boy is so stylish. i made his undershirt the scrapper one (because it has rolled up sleeves and only one glove) in blue. i cant wait to unlock more things and continue to play with customization. only thing is that i WISH you could save designs you make. maybe you can and i havent unlocked it yet (praying)

i really like the upgrades to the camera feature. i didnt mess with it a whole lot in fallen order but i really like how much more in depth it is. heres a picture i took

i really appreciate how much attention to detail there is. the decoration around the saloon is very nice and it feels very homey there.

also i need to mention that the subtle nods to jokes are so good. greez’s salt shaker, cal’s ponchos, THE LITERAL LIVE SLUG REACTION CREATURE (not the same one but you know.). also i must mention that the bathroom in the saloon is really cool? (and i laughed so hard when cal removed that thing from the toilet). ive never seen a star wars bathroom, except the one in disney land 😭 it was so dirty and ugly in there and it STUNK so bad and there were like 30 people in it. also the sinks were really weird and it took me a hot minute to figure out how to activate the sensor lmao

okay characters. mosey? she is so hot im gonna die. i like doma’s design. OKAY ZEE? i will die for zee. i love her so much shes the best droid ever. i love my high republic era droid and will protect her from all harm.

this game really is an upgrade in all categories. especially in cutscenes and story, it just feels much more polished and smooth. the cutscene after cal woke up was a particularly emotional one, what with the first real dig we’ve seen into cal’s emotions. we see him acting rash and emotionally, getting angry. its so interesting to see how he’s changed. and to see the rift between him and cere especially. he’s clearly avoiding it and i haven’t seen much yet, but im guessing that theyve gotten into more disagreements about how jedi should act. cere is very traditional in a lot of ways, where cal is doing what he needs to survive. from the trailers, it looks like cere’s trying to build up the jedi archives again, where cal is working with saw gurera or however you spell his name and trying to hit the empire where it hurts. cal is a man of action and that can’t be reasoned with. its just how he grew up. with the jedi order gone and him having to fend for himself and protect his identity from the ripe age of 10, he’s definitely not going to be a traditional jedi like cere, who became a master with her own padawan before it fell. she’s had more teaching and learned more lessons and overall taken away more than cal. he can’t just settle down. that’s not who he is. he needs to fight back and help others. he’s active and cere seems more passive. so anyway im excited to see where this goes.

thats about it i just wanted to sit and write my thoughts before i play too much and forget these things over more important things i’ll see later on.

#jedi survivor spoilers

[thegongoozlerreacts]

Welcome Home (Part 5)

ok so bc tumblr has a fucking limit to 30 photos per post i had to make a part 5

continuation under the cut

I AM LOSING MY FUCKING MIND I ACTUALLY GOT THE PASSWORD CORRECT

so i looked at the worksheet and was like 'ok so the answers are Barnaby, Sally, Poppy, Julie and Wally'

and since the code is 5 characters i just took the first letter of their names, in all caps and put it in

AND THEN BAM HERE I AM

idk if this is the only code that works or if there's other codes that lead to different things but i found one of them !!!

its a distorted version of the exhibition page

THERES FUCKING PICTURES HOLY SHIT DUDE

i read the text aloud and lost my mind and now my brother thinks im crazy LMAOAOAOOAO

ok so !! who wrote this the text on the distorted exhibition page AND the actual page full of possible password combinations

also the person's monologue was about hearing a phone ring and ring but being unable to answer it

then the upside down blacked-out text feels like its Wally just because it's like 'ring ring hello can you hear me call back soon'

and whoever the haunted-by-phone-ringing person is said that they had a dream of Wally holding a phone and calling them

time to look at the pictures

the photos are of a... messed-up version of the exhibition? pretty sure its the exhibition

maybe the person is the Question-Answerer

i think this picture and some of the other ones are behind the 'staff only' curtain that you can see here

oh yeah it definitely is you can see the black ink on the wall behind the cover of the other side !!

that black spiral thing, like from underneath Home in The Neighborhood page

oh my god

yeah ok so definitely i think the person who was looking for the password was the Question-Answerer or one of their staff

also the '~ Wally Darling' thats underneath the response email ???? oh holy shit dude

well the sticky note explains why the video of someone using the telephone in the exhibition was wearing a glove

oh hey its that one drawing of Frank

alright so the sticky note,,, i think it says "This art was NOT in the shipment PLEASE stop using the work printer to prank me" maybe ??? probably something like that at least

this is so cool

also you can see a paint roller so someone from the staff there, probably the person who said they 'tore up the workspace' when looking for a ringing phone (Question-Answerer?)

also the blacklight stuff is interesting

whatever was in the safe was supposed to be the prize for getting the worksheet answers correct so,,, maybe when u got it correct they brought u in here like 'hey sorry cant give u the prize rn cuz its in a safe lol here' or smth ?!?!??!

oh yeah i think thats a blacklight on the table too

also !! i noticed a toy telephone but it looks like it attaches to those square toys from my childhood ?!??!

like these things but they were square

also on the right wall on the back of the picture is a printed picture of that drawing of Wally sitting on a really high chair

and there's a tv and a book!! its cover is like that one that Clown Illustrations used in their announcement of the site coming back up !!!

so fascinating

ah thats why they have a blacklight

there's a link at the bottom of the email

i know its not a virus bc i dont think Clown or anyone who worked on this would do that but i am afraid to open it

gonna do it anyways

ok the link isnt loading for me LOL so nevermind that i guess

so the written stuff u can see on here is VERY interesting

maybe it wasnt the Question-Answerer spiraling to get the safe code but THIS is the Question-Answerer wondering what the fuck is going on

they seem to have a thing about thinking people are pranking them

there's also some hidden faded text that i can just barely see you could probably see it with a blacklight in real life but i think you might have to edit this photo to see it

unfortunately i dont have the tools to do that LOL so well. i'll just see if someone else has i guess

hm

the style of pages between the 'password please' one and the 'am i being pranked by everyone' is different

and there's TWO notebooks

the one sent by the WHRP team and the Question-Answerer's notebook

so i think the page that didnt have lines (password please) belongs to the red notebook?

ok nevermind i was wrong

that open notebook makes me think its of the red notebook so then

ok THIS is definitely from the red notebook so actually maybe the other open page one was from the brown notebook???

i can barely read the text on the letter lol

i really wish i could have gone to this exhibit and seen all this in person for myself <//3

i wonder if it was even possible for guests to access this area tho lol

handprints on the wall

its the safe!! and that one drawing of Wally !!!

oh you can see the square pyramid telephone from closer here

also that script at the side is the same script from that one secret link

also a tv !! i wonder what we'll see on it if it will ever be fixed

so fascinating

these are printed emails, so who's putting that text in the blacklight?

ah!!! its clickable !! the 'it's in here' !!

leads to this

how odd

OH STARS

audio with a tab titled 'soon'

its audio of Wally saying 'let me in' how fascinating

im so excited to get all these audios and work out the order cuz i know its gonna be fucking crazy

unfortunately thats gonna be all because i have to sleep now !! but im sure i'll finish going through the website tomorrow for sure !! goodnight

#welcome home

[papers4me]

Fruits Basket, Se03. ep 6.(Part 1)

The main female protagonist who, has been the “mother /psychiatrist/ fixer/curse-breaker” for 57 eps & 2 seasons, has finally had her own “I’m a real person with my own issues” ep !!!! YESS! So happy!!! also, so underwhelmed. Tohru has been painted to be this utterly selfless & altruistic character for long, that when she’s finally a balanced character it’s presented in half an episode? Don’t get me wrong, I like the ep, but there’s also the same feeling of bullet train that I felt in momiji’s ep! ugh!! I hated that feeling! Go away~ oh well.. I’ll quickly state what I didn’t like, before jumping into what I liked, in order to end with a happier note~

What I didn’t like:

Tohru’s monologue after leaving shigure & Isuzu felt more like a background exposition more than a true character’s thoughts. The reason is that It is quickly narrated with quick flashbacks from the past with intentional pieces missing from the flashback. Pieces like” how did Kyoko hurt tohru? She said to kyo, in se02, ep “ I feel like I’ve only caused her sadness” &  tohru’s flashbacks in se02 of her mother leaving/ closing a door. All these things not included in tohru’s 1st ever personal monologue made it seem like quick fill in for the audience more than tohru’s main struggle. Compare it to Yuki’s 3 ep monologue in se02, filled with all his own background info, hence, we as audience sit back & just feel. With tohru a little brain work is needed of putting things together in the puzzle is needed because NOTHING abt her trauma has ever been explained to us prior to her monologue . Also, compare this kyo. A character who ONLY have 2 eps dedicated to him in 57 eps, yet even without monologues & with hidden secrets for climax purposes, his emotions are clear cuz his background was explained early in se01, ep24 & se02, ep9. Compared to them both, her monologue felt a bit lacking.

What’s up with the following scene? Her crying & kyo comforting her mid-street. He saw her crying, asked what’s wrong & she couldn’t say & he gave her a comforting advice. All good. Kyo always give the most needed advice for tohru to be herself & feel comforted. Se01, “complain more, be selfish” Se02, somen table scene & asking her abt her future plans & the hiro incident. Kyo has tried to guess whats wrong first. Here he saw her cry in the middle of the street & just gave her an advice? couldn’t he at least guess wrongly if it is her granpa? school? anything? This scene is AMAZING but it feels off a little.

Kyo’s “ now I remember” EXCUSE ME?????? se01, ep14, valentine ep, he got a nightmare, then when shigure talked to him, we saw a quick flashback that we didn’t now what it is but now it IS kyoko. se02, the entirety of ep9 & the “ I won’t forgive you” & the flashback of young him with kyoko talking abt tohru. se02, ep 22 his fight with yuki & the clear face of kyoko telling him abt something regarding the hat. His entire shutdown of tohru IS abt kyoko NOT abt him being a monster cuz tohru accepted monster kyo in se01 ep 24! so.. REMEMBER WHAT????? the accident?? I feel like being hit with a rock. I mean, it makes sense that kyo will get PTSD after seeing the hat, cuz he remembers the bloody accident vividly. But it is the dialogue that IS weird. “ I remember” ?? it makes no sense? unless it is another hidden secret & will be revealed later. If so, then forget this point.

Kagura (more on her below). Now, let’s talk abt what I liked!

-Grief (the most difficult theme to express in literature): Excellent writing!

Grief is one of the most diverse human emotions. ppl who grief a loved one either erase everything abt them in order to cope with the pain of loss & live on, or drastically engrave everything, not want any memory to slip away, or hold the deceased on a pedestal, or hate them irrationally in order to forget abt them, some deny that the loved one is gone, others talk to them daily, some act & live normally for years & suddenly it hits them that this loved person is truly gone & they breakdown. Others, direct their disbelief of losing a precious one into the envy that other bad ppl are still living, why my precious one is dead?. Thats why, it is a difficulty emotion to understand by others. Ppl watching you will always think that comforting you is enough & that the longer you take, the more impatient they are with you. Tell me, watching tohru this ep, didn’t you feel that:

Come on. tohru, you can love your mom & kyo! who says only ONE person can be your precious?

Umm, why she cries for her mom NOW? 2 years after her death? Is she over it already?

Tohru~~ your mom aint going no where cuz you loved a guy? she’s in your heart, girl. Ugh!

Compared to yuki who was abused by his parents & kyo whose mom commit suicide in front of him, tohru’s trauma is meh~

Feeling this way abt tohru is exactly how many feel abt ppl struggling with grief. You are NOT a bad person if you felt this way. It means that thankfully you weren’t struck by grief to tohru’s extent or that your grief went about differently than tohru. Grief is a crippling feeling. It is valid, strong, overwhelming, paralyzing & above all very unique to the person themselves. Tohru feeling that her mom is slipping away from her memory is so realistic & utterly heartbreaking. Grief hurts & moving on from grief hurts more!!!! The more you go on & live your life, the more you feel like you betray your loved one.

Tohru’s entire existence is for her mother & so her mother LIVES inside her:

Finishing high school cuz it’s her mother’s request.

Getting a job to sustain herself cuz she has no one to support her financially.

Giving her mom’s wisdom & teachings abt life to others.

imitating her dad’s speaking style to prevent her mom from “leaving”.

Being the perfect girl in order to portray that her mom, who is a gangster & is hinted by the ugly relatives to be unfaithful to her husband due to tohru not taking after her dad, actually raised a respectful girl!

Talking to a dead cold lifeless picture as if it is a living human being & going into panic attacks when she looses such pictures.

Suppressing all her true “ ugly, negative” emotions & only giving the fake smiles & positive attitude.

She fears that ppl will leave her if she isn’t “comforting, happy”, hence, the whole facade of “ i’m okay, I’m okay”.

Immersing her self in ppl’s issues so she won’t face her own feelings of utter loneliness, fear of the future, & being left behind when everybody moves on with their lives.

Thinking that having selfish desires contradicts the “ hopeful, kind” girl images, hence, the fear to actually wants sth for herself. Everything HAS TO BE for the sake of the others.

Tohru is deeply traumatized & her complex, unhealthy but extremely realistic attachment to her mom must be broken. Tohru must learn to LET GO.

-Kagura’s character’s assassination. aka (violence heals y’all!)

The show wanted to express the emotion that kagura is still in love with kyo, but is learning to let go & accepting kyo/tohru love. I love that. Her speech with kazuma abt not being able to face tohru cuz her face will show her emotions is so relatable & it hit ME personally. Loved that. Then, she learns that tohru truly loves kyo & should confess to him not talk to Isuzu & I get that, it make sense that she lashes on thru & teach her the value of being open abt your feelings & dont loose him. all cool & understandable. BUT:

How dare you slap tohru like that? you don’t know what she’s going through? tohru is wearing funeral clothes for God’s sake! she just visited her dead mom, you insensitive woman! How dare you assume that all tohru is struggling with is love love, romance romance yay~ confess, kiss, be happy?

Tohru & kyo’s issues are deeper than typical, normal, shallow shojo love. It is related to child trauma & abuse. To their own individual identity & self-image! Their romantic love is meant to guide them towards better choices for the future, not magically heal everything. Their mutual love is NOT the answer to their issues.

How dare you slap someone to make them go back to their senses? this is such an anime move! ugh!~ it cheapens the emotional weight of character’s emotions.

“ I’m not apologizing to tohru. We communicate thro fists” excuse me?  you arent even communicating with kyo thro fists! he sees you & run! the only time he thanked you for, was when you didn’t “ communicate thro fists” & played with him as a child! Not only make her hit tohru but not apologize??

No one told her off? are you foreal?? Isuzu pouting lips is no match for Isuzu powerful emotions when she’s embarrassed, & kazuma! where you at? Happy at the “ open confrontation”? Why do you kill kagura’s character like that?

Side Notes:

I hate how this went by in half an ep like they did with machi!! tohru is THE main character for God’s sake! But it looks like the show is not so fond of the true tohru who wants stuff & screams & talks to herself, alas she isn’t the angelic, innocent girl that is saturating the heck out of all shojo amines. Oh well~ perhaps tohru’s issues will be visited again in the finale?

Kyo gets PTSD reaction in front of tohru. great. Now what’s next? I won’t ever forgive the anime if next ep, kyo & tohru are all normal or worse the episodic theme prevents the continuation & jumps elsewhere. Nearly all the eps that didn’t end with a happy note, started the next ep somewhere & totally forgot the cliff hanger. such as, Isuzu’s ep in se02, it ended with tohru’s nightmare & next ep started yuki’s issues with tohru all smiley & bright. Another example, the Cinderella play ended with kyo/tohru torn symbolism where each is awkward with the other, next ep machi !!!!!! & kyo/ tohru all normal in kazuma’s house. But this time, it will be an epic mistake to do the same. Kyo going full traumatic in front of tohru to the point of her screaming is not sth you skip & start over erasing. Don’t disappoint me show! you can’t screw that, can you?

I love the symbolism of kyoko disappearing from the picture & the crack of her framed pic at the end with it still continued in he ED. Good job.

They are building for a hug clashing scene between kyo & tohtu. it must hurt. It is designed to hurt. I wanted it to hurt. It is not abt romance. It is abt mental & emotional trauma. I’m excited. But I’m scared. After today’s ep, I can confidently say I don’t trust the director. I’m an anime-only, but tohru’s part in the story is the least touched upon, the quickest to get over with & has the wackiest animation. They just don’t know how to depict an emotional tohru~ sigh~

Tohru is written to be a unique protagonist in the sea of innocent, selfless & always happy shojo heroine & opposed to the badass, physically strong female protag in shonen. She is the most realistic, but so much of her potential is wasted so far~~

“ saving the sohma’s. breaking the curse for others is a lie, in reality I wanted to do it for kyo” This line is supposed to be liberating for tohru cuz for once she is putting herself FIRST! It is not abt kyo. It is abt herself! it is cuz SHE wants him. See the difference? See how this line gives tohru the biggest character development!! but still sth is missing. I duno..

I have lots to say abt tohru, kyo, shigure, the grandpa, kyoko, Isuzu & even kazuma! I’ll do that in part 2.

I still liked the ep tho. It is solid. I”ll like it MORE if they continued from here & didn’t cut it cold.

#Fruits Basket #Anime Only #Exhausted paper #final season #Tohru Honda

[sanchoyo]

danny phantom 14-20 thoughts!! I finished up s1 :D these last few eps were actually really really good!!!

-did. did tucker really just say esperanto was a dead language only spoken as a secret code between geeks. google says around 100,000 people actively speak it. oh my god...it being an auxiliary language doesn't mean its 'just for geeks to speak in code' ...it helps bridge gaps between people who don't have a language in common...

-danny really isn't pulling punches when it comes to fighting the ghost-cop possessed people huh. like he SLAMMED KWAN INTO THE CONCRETE SO HARD. HE THREW PAULINA INTO A BILLBOARD. will that...I mean it WOULD carry over to their bodies non-possessed, right? like if the ghost piloting their bodies gets hurt?? itd be so upsetting to be possessed, lose time, then wake up covered in bruises (and possibly, broken bones??) real horror movie stuff im sure wont be addressed in any way

-tuckers parents seem nice! I like them :)

-WULF IS CUTE AND I FEEL BAD. im so glad the gang realized he was only causing trouble bc of the shock collar walker put on him and helped. also, him wearing that big hoodie with the hood on, and thinking its subtle. we can tell youre still a giant wolfie :) THEN GETTING SUCKED INTO THE PORTAL AAAAH :( anxiously waiting to see Him Again....

-DANNY BLASTING HIS PARENTS THINKING THEY WERE OVERSHADOWED LMFAO GET THEIR ASSES. maddie marking how many ghosts she gets with lipstick tallies on the side of her portal gun? kindaaa iconic tho. (ALSO, SHE WAS LIKE, 2 FT AWAY FROM HIM RIGHT AFTER SHE TRIED TO SHOOT HIM. HOW DO YOU NOT RECONINZE YOUR OWN SON??? like sure, he might have diff hair/eye colors. but like, if one of my family members dyed their hair, and was wearing contacts, its not like id be like 'wHO IS THIS STRANGER!!!' ...he still has all his facial features!! same everything!!! I hate it here)

-paulina being #1 girl realizing danny's a friendly ghost immediately. smart queen. lancer and kwan ran away right after he made this sweet baby face at them:

which is hilarious.

-ok. im not saying his bullying is JUSTIFIED, but. dash looked so pleased with the (cute!) poster he just painted, and danny comes thru the wall and spills paint on his nice letterman jacket. his anger is justified maybe 65% of the time so far...(not the way he handles it, but STILL.) at least lancer is stepping in!! and them making a silly little bet was...cute?? until dash pulled out his GROSS UNDERWEAR AND SAID DANNY WOULD HAVE TO EAT THEM???? WHAT THE FUCK MAN. TUCKER WAS SO RIGHT ITS FUCKING WEIRD TO CARRY THOSE AROUND EWWW. THIS KID IS UNWELL. lancer was right, his animatronic setup was SUPER IMPRESSIVE?? hes actually pretty creative. danny meanwhile is stealing the fright knight's design...I hope dash is taking art classes or smth with his sports

-fright knight is the most bestest ghost so far i LOVE THAT DESIGN. I am biased towards knights, and characters with swords, but he fucks so severely. and should sue danny for copyright infringement for stealing his design for his haunted house. if some 14 yr old broke into MY house and stole MY sword, id also be pissed. his evil winged unicorn rules too with its FANGS. and he just CAN SHOVE THE PORTAL OPEN WITH HIS HANDS??? is he the strongest ghost weve seen so far? idk but hes my fav. SOUL SHREDDER IS SUCH A COOL SWORD NAME TOO. ANY NAMED SWORD ALSO FUCKS. 'flaming bedsheets of DEATH' funny king. ALSO he was polite to dash and tucker when just asking for directions and telling tucker 'oh maybe, just a suggestion, maybe be nicer to me and be more respectful :)' I LOOOVE HIM.

-I noticed this in the Ember ep, but jazz has an electric guitar in her room!! talent musical queen!! its cool to see hobbies just in the bg.

-fright knight's murder castle reminds me of the booby trapped murder castle in zexal!! another supposedly 'for kids' show with murder/trap castles! we love that. if you are a dp fan reading this, give yugioh zexal a try. its also got 13-14 year old protags and involves (alien) ghosts. the cardgame is just a vessel for the plot, which is really good. (I just want more people to watch my fav yugioh, man)

-danny. with a SWORD.

-danny doesnt NEED TO WIN this contest, dash didnt STEAL HIS DESIGNS AND STEAL A SWORD. he also got excited to hear lancer got sent to a dimension with his worst fears too just so he could win the contest? DANNY WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU!!! BRO MAYBE YOURE 14 AND HAVENT FULLY DEVOLPED YOUR WHOLE BRAIN YET, BUT...THATS FUCKED. this kid casually says the most deranged things, I do worry for my spooky son. once again, therapy needed. that judo toss was great tho. I wonder if he actually did pick up some martial arts stuff from his mom?

-danny can fly 112 mph!!! thats so fast! I love the lil montage of him and his friends testing his abilities and stuff, very cute and a good way to showcase what he can do by now and how much more proficient he's gotten from ep 1!!! I'm sure he's going to get more abilities :)

-im glad...maddie's at least TRYING this ep. I do feel for her because her husband is a man baby. but the fact it took 16 episodes to get a kinda semblance of any kind of real concern or attempts at bonding. hmm. jack's 'BACK OFF SHES A MINOR' @ the ghost trying to attack jazz. also was very funny. and him wanting to make an action figure of her? are the parents redeeming themselves to me? slightly. they gotta Work Harder

-THE GHOST. IS FLYING. THE PLANE.

-fenton machete. but she doesnt carry a PHONE??? ???

-I mean I expected vlad when you namedrop him earlier in the ep, and also the title card picture, and dalv corp being fucking vlad backwards. but seeing him just pull up on a golf cart made me bust out laughing. WITH the gift baskets prepared. why wouldnt you at least be suspicious. also, if he wants danny to be his lil sonboy, why is he so fucking malicious?? dude you are going about this in such a bad way. stop it. get some help.

-maddie not even hesitating to drag danny out. fucking good. danny is so right, go on the internet to date. get a cat. how do you spend...how many years?? has it been since college?? at least 20, right, since the parents/vlad are in their 40s? hung up on ONE girl. my god, man. incel drama queen. her kung fu IS impressive, but dude. 'we both know hes a creep' SO right. it sucks but they do need a phone and shit being in the middle of NOWHERE. also, just stealing his helicopter was great. <3

-'you must be exhausted carrying the weight of that mistake you made years ago' 'well we all make mistakes. maybe I'll make one now!' WHY DID THIS EXHCHANGE SEND ME. AND VLAD WITH THE BREATH SPRAY EWWW BITCH. 'OLD BAIT BREATH' SOO RIGHT. both danny and his mom playing him HAHAH hes so dumb. or rather, I think he thinks with his emotions too too much and is...actually pretty gullible? lmao he believed danny was ready to give in SO fast. (which is sad hes that hopeful, like you have SO MUCH MONEY YOU COULD EASILY GET ANOTHER GIRL WHO HAS A KID. AND WOULD WANT TO BE WITH YOU AND BE SUPPORTED. GET OVER THIS (1) WOMAN ALREADY IM GETTING SECONDHAND EMBARRASSMENT AAAAH)

-GHOST BEAR GHOST BEAR GHOST BEAR. it was also in the title card, but I still got very excited. we love bears here

-SAM'S BAT SWIMSUIT COVERUP!!! her outfits are simply iconic.

-'i'd tell you to go to the mens room, but I don't think you qualify' top paulina transphobic moments. :( and him wearing a tanktop to the swim park? hmmm! (actually I think she was overshadowed by then, so, KITTY top 10 transphobic moments??)

-kitty just piloting paulina around makes me feel SO bad tho, paulina's gonna wake up and be like 'wtf do you mean I was dating this rando' like youre leading danny on to make johnny jealous, and also just POSSESSING POOR PAULINA. dude take your relationship problems ELSEWHERE. last time we saw them, they seemed like such a cute couple!! wtf johnny!! I mean, she sucks for trying to make him jealous, he sucks for looking at other girls...maybe they need a break, but Not Like This. or, you know, just. better communication...

-and the A-listers having a full packet and a stamp system. who organizes this. kwan fucking owning being the new danny though, this is hysterical. THE TUCKER/KWAN FLOWER FIELD TWIRL. UNIRONICALLY ADORABLE. and him giving it his all for the poetry slam. bless his HEARTTTT.

-Star owns. actually, all of the extra characters are shining this ep and I love it.

-INVISO-BILL??? NOOOO THEY DID HIM SOO DIRTY. DANNY SWEETIE IM SO SORRY.

-johnny and danny bein friends and staging a fake fight (which danny takes too seriously, once again this child has aggression he NEEDS TO WORK OUT) I hope these three stay friends, I said it before but danny needs more friendly ghosts to hang with.

-at this point, Danny's ghost enemies are a lot like, I dunno, batman's rouge gallery is the first thing that comes to mind. they all have their own gimmick and unique designs, but most of them are easy to beat after learning the Moral Lesson. I still get excited when any of them show up again, though. 18 is another valerie episode!!!! :D skulker really said you two will get along if I have to handcuff you together <3 and the gym teacher really said, youre married now, have a flour baby! ngl, I'm not really watching this show for the shipping stuff (which I am very scared to look at the fandom for after I finish this watch through- I feel like there's probably discourse/arguing about ships...) but. I'm gonna put my opinion out there. valerie/danny > sam/danny. maybe I just really love the enemies to lovers trope. And the secret identity stuff adds Extra Flavor.

-SKULKER JUST HAVING THE BOX GHOST AND DANGLING HIM BY A STRING. HILARIOUS. and him watching them with binoculars and making his silly little commentary. AND MAKING THE SACK BABY CRY. LMAO. THIS DUDE IS A BABY KIDNAPPER. skulker is super fun

-danny, you just...collapsed the water tower. and then attacked the nasty burger machine...mascot thingy...out of anger..I KEEP SAYING HE'S GOT ANGER ISSUES BUT. HE REALLY NEEDS A LESSON IN MANAGING COLLATERAL DAMAGE!!! So does valerie!! They're both pretty focused on each other. I mean it's good of Danny to say he's trying to make sure PEOPLE don't get hurt, but... (I mean I guess it's not something 14 year olds WOULD worry about, but as an adult im like, who's going to fix that? how much money will that take??)

-TUCKER MAKING BANK. and sam and tucker being super emotionally attached to their flour baby and being pretty good parents. that's cute...also him just straight kissing her and being like. WAIT. O_O JDSKAFHD. his mom baking them into cookies was the funniest possible result. tbh I dont feel like this is on tucker, if anything the other kid's shouldve been more responsible! He was just taking an opportunity to get that $$ which I respect

-Danny being more understanding of Valerie's situation in the end (helping her at her job, too, and trying to keep that a secret for her!!!) And seeing them work together this ep, and also her letting phantom get her out of the ghost zone...was very sweet. LOVE that. more valerie eps pls

-me when I realize vlad's big stupid house exploded because of his own carelessness with changing the ghost portal ectofiltrator or whatever: *pointing and laughing*

-me when I realize it means he's gonna go make danny's life hell for it somehow: >:(

-SCOOBY PARODY!!! I feel like there's gotta be some scooby doo/danny phantom crossover stuff, right? also, 'guys in white' men in black wishes

-'oh, that's right! dad married the love of your life! you're bitter and alone!' DANNNNNYY GET HIS ASS ONCE AGAIN WE ARE POINTING AND LAUGHING AT VLAD

-'jack, you captured the ghost boy!!' UMM. he did nothing <3 'we have a weapon's vault??' YOU HAVE A WEAPONS VAULT??? and jack didnt put a handle on the inside. of fucking course he didnt! why would you leave that to your son!! or expect him to clean YOUR LAB when its where you work with probably dangerous chemicals and weapons and hes 14!! give him normal chores, like, I dunno, vacuuming, laundry, dishes...CMON. I hate it here. But I'm glad Jack is more chill about danny while he's a ghost, and willing to work with him for this ep. AND. I DID ENJOY JACK PUNCHING VLAD IN THE FACE. AND GENERALLY JUST OWNING HIM. the ghost punchy fists are actually amazing. like yeah, just punch a ghost in the face. that rules.

-ep 20 opens with the coolest fucking ghost lady design. her tattoos can come off and fight. MA'AM. I like ur nose ring and your cape maam hello 👉👈😳

-sam's grandma is hilarious and the most valid member of her family and I love her. thats my grandma now. and tucker covering for sam by dressing as her. thats true friendship <3 also skipping school to go to a goth circus. just bestie things! sam's parents are haters but for all the wrong reasons.

-'my family has controlled ghosts with this for generations!' WAIT. WAIT FREAKSHOW /ISNT/ A GHOST? I didn't expect that...he's just a fucked up guy controlling ghosts? anyway watching danny shoot at police cars and rob banks while mind controlled. its like, the most stereotypical 'bad' things lmao. (tbh an evil ghost circus troupe is a sick concept)

this gives off big deviantart emo edit vibes

(I'm going to assume evil circus reaper danny has a lot of fan content. people love an edgy au, except this one is canon (even tho its via mind control...having the protag go evil otherwise might be hard, I guess?) but au where he stays with the troupe...that has to exist, right?)

ANYWAY. excited to start s2!! lowkey surprised by how many notes some of these posts have gotten. I've gone back and tagged them all with 'dp thoughts' so they're easier to find on my blog! ^^ and I will probably possibly do (more) fanart on my art blog after I finish the watch of the whole show, so like. @sanchoyodraws follow my art blog :)

#sanchoyorambles #danny phantom #dp thoughts

[jkknight98]

Hey! I’ve read so many of your vore stories, and I’ve actually written a few of my own! Granted they aren’t Dream SMP or anything, but I might write some of those in the future or something! I just want your opinion on some of them I guess? I don’t know, you’re a really cool writer and I enjoy rereading your old works and reading your new ones! Anyway, let me know what you think of them and things I could do to improve my future writing! If you have the time of course! If not, then that’s obviously fine! I just enjoy your writing and I want to know your opinion on mine I guess! Anyway, have a great day! ^^

Oh gosh this was hidden under so many different notifications that I saw it earlier and I'm only now able to answer it. I'm really glad that you enjoy my writings and think that they're cool, but wanting me to look over your own writings and give feedback. Thats something I'd never be asked to do by anyone so that is a humbling feeling.

I just finished looking over your stories and while only recognizing the characters from the MHA stories, I do really like them as they are. What I could suggest you do ( cause this is something I did when I first started writing and just wanted to post as much as I could) is make sure to take the time to "fluff" your stories since a few of them felt like there could be more and it provides a opportunity to add context to those who have no clue who the characters are/ only have a small knowledge of them. Its real easy to write a story your excited about and have the image of how it plays out in your head, but other people may not be able to pull the same image into their own as they read, so I find its always good to write in those extra details to paint a clearer picture. I see it as painting a picture of the ocean, you know its the ocean, but a outside person may not and think its a painting of a lake. Adding in those extra details such as gulls flying over, a sandy beach, and maybe a dolphin jumping from the waves makes for a more fleshed out painting of the ocean. This can be done the same way in writing.

This is why it takes me a good while to write my stories ( not including the time taken by adult stuff and college) because I want to make the clearest picture I can for my readers. I want them to be able to see the same image I had while writing the story I want them/myself to enjoy. Because I can not stress this enough " YOU SHOULD ALWAYS ENJOY WRITING YOUR STORIES!" if your not enjoying what your doing, then why are you doing it in the first place.

Please don't take anything of what Ive said above as saying your writing isn't good as it is, Im just going off of my own writing style and everyone has their unique style; yours is really good. If you enjoy how you write then its more power to you and keep enjoying it

This looks really long on my laptop and I hope I didn't ramble to much and it makes sense to you and helps inspire you in your future writings ( I've followed and I’m now excited to see your next work).

#jk answers #I never thought a day like this would come #oh gosh #Is this how Phil feels when people asking him advice #Im really becoming Knightza

[noodelak]

MY REALLY OLD ART A LONG ASS POST

So this first piece I found in a folder on my computer called “Old art organize later” within a folder called “ REALLY OLD ART” I drew this in 2006 and the jpeg was titled:

“My most awesome dragon evur”

Also noted was my attempt at signing my name in Japanesef saldkfjsdlf because i was 11 and anime was THEE coolest thing to me.

Okay the rest is going under a read more because this is gonna be LONG

here are some gems from 2007

yes this is a kk slider gijinka faksdjfalsdjf

next up we have my attempt to make super paper mario characters into handsome anime men

it was a this point i was a young baby on deviant art longing to do “digital” art because thats what all the really cool artists did, i didnt have a tablet and the photoshop-esque thing i had was a pirated copy of JASC Paintshop 7 (or maybe it was 8), so what did I make with newly unlocked DIGITAL ART POWERS??

and this charming thing which was my intepretation of what the The Thing Behind the Wall in Johnny the Homicidal Maniac looked like:

but these were only the beginning of my long and arduous journey as an artist, 2009 came and I entered highschool 13 years old and with nothing but the power of deviant art and being an outcast with 2 friends on my side so here are some of my favorites from that era of Noo art:

^^^ this is in fact EXACTLY what i looked like at 13

its kind of funny bc looking back you can absolutely tell id been drawing dragons/wolves since i was like able to hold a pencil but didnt start drawing humanoid characters until i was 12 afjlakfjs

ANYWAYS CARRYING ON BC THERES PLENTY MORE!! For example my Invader Zim/Naruto OCs

yes one of those aliens was kisame

every day knowing that I get to claim ownership over this is truly exhilarating the girl with the pigtails was my OC that was definitely not just me. Her name was Delainbow, she was Sasuke’s daughter and she is truly the epitome of everything that was good about my childhood

WHAT A LEGEND

this is genuinely what I wanted to be when i was 13 god I love it

oh fuck i missed this one from 2008

god  GOd i love these all so much I WAS SO FREE I JUST DREW WHATEVER AND DIDNT CARE

ok just gonna put a few more without comment but these are all 2009 again

Moving on to 2010-2012 era art

shout out to teenage me for still being not the worst at drawing animals

the  freaking EDGE

so there was some point here where i started trying to stop drawing “anime”  bc i was tired of ppl making fun of me so I figured if I didnt draw anime ppl would take me more seriously when in reality those ppl just sucked and so did my highschool art teacher

like... YUCK???? what the fuck was i was I even accomplishing here aksdjfaskjfkasldjf

my wolves still were still way cooler then the rest of my art lol

alright carrying onto late highschool early college, its summer of 2012 im on tumblr, im a homestuck, and ive gotten a laptop and tablet as a gift for getting into art school (yeah I drew like aformentioned above and still got into art school) sadly i dont have any scans of the stuff i drew for that portfolio, it was mostly still lifes i drew like a boot and a skull haha

okay so here are the gems i made upon finally getting a computer of my own, photoshop and bamboo wacom tablet,

here she is my first attempt to paint in photoshop....s fjaskdjfaskljfklasd

the rest of these are all from like my first fall/winter semester of college when i actually started getting a real art education and not just shitty no budget rural hometown highschool art class

So that picture of zachary which is honestly NOT thaaaaaat bad was one of the first things I ever posted to break 500 notes, i think a fewwww of my homestuck drawings had come close after like months of being on the site but like that zachary was one of the first times id genuinely been a little succesful with sharing my art online and im still very grateful to everyone who liked and reblogged it ^u^

After that well, i do have a lot more bad art but its not quite as funny as my pre-college stuff from that point on you mostly just see me struggling to improve anatomy and struggling to get through school (which ultimately took me 8 years to get through bc art school is terrible on your mental health and i had to do the last 4 years as a half time student)

but thats kind of a sad note to end on so heres just a few more gems i think you all should see if you’ve taken the time to read this haha

Thank you if you took the time to scroll through all of this i hope you had a laugh and that if you’re ever feeling down about your art to remember that we all start at the bottom and you can only go up from there no matter how long it takes you! Don’t give up and honestly just draw your truth <3

#long post #talk tag #art retrospective #this was really fun to make hahah

[crash-cinematic-universe]

3am peter maximoff/me discord headcanons

the people have spoken. i edited it a bit so no personal info is revealed. also sometimes a ‘you’ is addressed, that’s my friend but feel free to imagine that as you. have a fun peek at my brain when i am not putting in Effort. also i misspoke its 6000+ CHARACTERS not words. i passed out after the final headcanon

- first of all. this bitch is Insecure with a capital 'I'. all his life he was told that he was a freak because of his mutation and then he believed he was a loser because he lived in his moms basement for a while and he just. he needs someone to tell him that he is actually great and a Hero

- I can and WILL be that person

- I think this is canon but ya know they don't really discuss this stuff in a superhero movie but. Peter is a whole ass virgin. 

- bisexual because no straight person dresses THAT well

- if peter was around these days he would be a retro punk type of person. I think he would like lemon demon but that might just be because i'm listening to lemon demon rn

- since both his parents were holocaust survivors he would be a huge advocate for human rights

- i'm not saying he would try to kill the president but that's exactly what I'm saying

- I think Peter would have a similar interest in children as I do. other people's kids are cool. Do I want kids? FUCK no

- if peter maximoff was a real person he would 1) be my bestie and 2) ABSOLUTELY have a weed old people music basement party with us

- he is super touch starved because most of his mother's affection was given towards his little sisters (his dad wasn't around because of the whole. 'not knowing he was his dad' thing)

- peter would cry the first time he got laid and thats all im saying about that

- he gives the BEST hugs because they are tight but not too tight 

- he smells like leather 

- not a headcanon but. I want to touch his hair

- Peter Maximoff just wants to be given affection and praise for everything he's accomplished. I would pull the sun out of the sky and hand it to him if he asked

.- this is going to sound like im Projecting but Peter would play bass 

- he plays bass because it helps him slow down and focus without being a drag on his personality

- hates water

- thinking about Holding his Hand makes me cry

- bro this is a FICTIONAL character I am being weird but I do not care

- dude I just pictured getting to wear the silver jacket and im :sobs: 

- anyways back to what I was saying

- peter could tell me that the only way he could ever be At Peace and Happy was if I grew wings and flew into the sun then I would do exactly that 

- he dresses in traditionally masculine and feminine ways because he is epic

- he just knows the power he holds in a skirt

- I am crying 

- low key hc him as nb 

- by low-key I mean not at all lowkey

- he is oddly good at drawing faces but nothing else. He can only draw faces.

- YES this is so he can draw the faces on the bodies i draw

- this man would punch a neo nazi in less than a second. no hesitation. again, the parents thing

- he protects his little sisters but like not in the creepy "whatever you do to her, I do to you" way. just in a 'dude I am literally an xman if u hurt her ill obliterate you' way

- hc abt me. I buy him shoes a lot because he is constantly destroying his shoes because he moves at the speed of sound

- living with peter would rock because 1) the whole space is clean in 0.000000000000000000001 seconds and 2) cuddles and 3) he showers in 3 seconds so the water bill won't get too high when i take 30 minute showers

- he is canonically a kleptomaniac but you already KNOW he is raiding and vandalizing hobby lobby because those bitches homophobic 

- I would force you to let him participate in 1 mcu cover (MCU is my mcr cover band called my chemical uterus where we replace half the words of mcr songs with penis)

- he is an xman which means he is athletic but begrudgingly so

- if he was real every Christmas i'd give him twinkies and he'd give me chocolate chips and I'd sob and cry for hours and hours

- this motherfucker would despise ahs because he doesn't like seeing people sad or in pain but he would still listen to me if I talked about it because he's cool like that

- dude no one would ever shatter their phone around him because he'd just catch it before it hits the ground

- I am trying not to make this sexual but. I mean c'mon. he can jerk it to the speed of light that's gotta count for something

- he can do FLAWLESS eyeliner because he practices on his sisters and i am Jealous thinking about it because i look like a raccoon when i do eyeliner

- peter would say acab rights

- he would simultaneously love and hate Jojo Rabbit. if he were real I wouldn't make him watch it very often but it is my favorite movie so he might see it once or twice.

- problem is. this bitch can't be driven ANYWHERE

- it's always "bro we could've been there and back by now. no dude you don't understand you can just ride on my back—" 

- any meticulous or "slow" tasks would make him really anxious and fidgety. unfortunately that just makes him more anxious because he's afraid he's annoying the people around him.

- ^ is that canon? probably

- retro gaaang

- arcade gaaang

- he would probably try to beat my asteroids high score but he CANT because im the asteroids KING

- literally I beat the highest score ever done in that arcade I am So Cool

- not a fan of stickers. too much responsibility 

- pet ferret 

- lowkey insecure about his laugh & his smile because a bunch of adults in his life said his laugh was irritating

‐  fuck you YES im projecting

- blue painted nails because he has taste

- king of DDR

- [friend’s name] you’re not reading this but he would kick ur ass in taiko

- halloween would fuck SO HARD

- space nerd space nerd space nerd space nerd space ne

- bro if peter was real i think id never infodump on my parents again

- a 3 hour rant about ahs from me

- a 3 hour rant about the solar system from peter

- my parents are crying because my voice box would implode on itself

- cud ddddleel ee

- i want him to Hold Me Gently

- i want to wear the goggles

- pink floyd party

- nirvana party

- mcr party

- crying on the floor because I love him so much.

- Peter likes to have his picture taken but he doesn’t want to see the picture. He wants to live on past his death but he does NOT want to see his disastrous hair

- speaking of hair

- yes i would braid it

- very nice color I want to touch it

- butterfly clips……………….

- in conclusion: I love this bitch and I will protect this bitch until the day that I fly myself into the sun

- also i want to kiss him on the m*uth

#peter maximoff headcanons #peter maximoff x me #god this is. borderline incoherent #have fun reading this and trying to decipher my brain

[pbandjesse]

Today was another excellent day. But I am way tireder then I was last night. Like it is a little hard to sit up and write this but I will power through. 

I did sleep alright last night but before bed I had another really bad nose bleed except this time I was alone, as James was asleep, and I only had 3 tissues. So I was a little upset and scared. But it was alright in the end. And I have a new tissue box now so hopefully I wont feel so stranded. 

I woke up around 8 but I stayed in bed until 830. I really wanted to keep sleeping but I knew Jess was up and I didnt want to be rude. And of course she was already dressed and looking cute. But she was doing work for her WFH job so she wasnt to bothered. I got washed up and dressed. I felt cute again today but I mostly forgot to take my picture until way late in the day. But that was alright. We were just having to much fun. 

The big plan for the day was to go squishmallow hunting. But the mall we were going to search at didnt open until 11. So we had some time to hang out. So after breakfast we started rinsing our tye dye projects. I decided Jess should go first because her's is so much lighter and I didnt want to stain her's with all my dark dye. And it was so funny hers didnt run any dye at almost at all?? Absolutely bizarre. We were using the coldest water and really trying to get in there but no dye came out. So we hung it to dry and got into mine. 

Mine was a different story. As soon as I unwrapped it from the plastic is was dripping black dye. So I pulled off the rubber bands and got to work rinsing it. It took a good ten minutes of rinsing but it honestly looked great. As it dried throughout the day the black would fade to a lovely almost grey purple. But the actual tye dyed scrunchy parts look so cool. I am super excited to share it tomorrow when we take pictures. It was a lot of fun to do and while I dont think I will like. Tye dye my whole life. It was a lot of fun to experiment with. And for our first go it was really successful. 

Once we were done that and everything was drying in the bathroom we got ready to leave. I wasnt super excited to drive, as I still felt really tired, but it was alright. Though when we got to the car I found we barely had any gas and I was annoyed about that because I hate putting gas in the car but I would do it. Even though I hate it. 

We drove out to the mall and it felt so weird to be in a mall. But there werent a lot of people. It was mostly just quiet. But it for sure felt like a blast from the past. We walked the whole mall. Talked about being mall rat teens. What we would do and play and just the culture of that time in our lives. And hoenstly it was just a good time. It was nice to walk around inside and not be cold and because we were on this funny hunt for squishes there was an element of activity and goal. 

We didnt have great luck. The claires had nothing. The hallmark had nothing. We did find some at Hot Topic though. I ended up getting a blind box one. And Jess got a couple little things. We also got a matching set of lollypop earrings I am very excited about. We got lunch in the food court. Felt very weird eating inside. I got pretzel bites. It was just. A good time at the mall. 

We were there about an hour, making our last stop at Hot Topic for the second time to make our actual purchases. And then we went to the strip mall across the road to go to starbucks. Everyone was driving stupid so I was really glad to be out of there. 

We started to head towards the closes Marshalls. And they only had a cuddler squish there. And a way to long line, so I did not buy the face wash I was going to get. We instead went to Target. We made a stop to get gas. Which was terrible only because the same thing happened as last time and the machine kept saying my zipcode was wrong and I had to go talk to the man at the counter and it was a whole thing. I hate pumping gas. But it was handled. 

Next we went to the CVS and the Walgreens to check and finding nothing good we continued on to Target. 

Target was mostly a bust. No easter friends. But we ended up finding a beautiful greyscale bunny that Jess really liked. And we decided we were done. I wanted to make one more loop around toys just and in case and while we did I remembered to stop to look in the legos to see if they had the botanical one me and James have been trying to get but keeps getting scalped for 3xs the real price. And I was so excited to find that they had it!! The bouquet of flowers!! I was so jazzed. I cant wait to build this with them and its going to be great and look so cool in our house. 

We were both a little beat by this point though. So it was time for home. 

It was a nice drive back. The sun started coming out after a really grey day. And I was happy to be home. 

We would chill for a little bit but then there were more things we wanted to do. We opened our blind boxes. I got a dragon that we think was meant to be scented like minit chocolate but just smelt. Bad. But whatever. Still cute. I like the dragons. And then we got to work on my clothes. 

I wanted to do another big purge and having moral support to talk things out was exactly what I needed. So Jess helped me make piles of everything I own and make hard calls for each piece. I was a little more brutal then I expected but honestly I had purged my clothes in december and I sort of knew what ones that if I didnt wear in the last 2 months were going to get the axe. So it was only hard at some points. And I was really excited that everything I wanted to fit in the trunk for seasonal pieces and my closet isnt to full anymore. Two bags of clothes to donate and Im just really happy about that. And before that Jess tried on some that she liked from the get rid of pile and took some and that made me feel really happy too. Im glad they will get a second life. 

We would spend more time in my room trying on ren fair costume stuff. And spent way to long trying to relace a corset thats a little to big for me. But it was honestly a lot of fun. We were just very tired at the end. 

James had a performance review during that time that we got to hear and I got to be all proud about how well they are doing. And then James would go on a bike ride after work before picking us all up dinner. Because I have the best partner. 

While James was gone me and Jess would be on the couch playing a little animal crossing. Being sleepy. When food did come I was really upset that both our orders were missing pieces and I was trying very hard not to have a breakdown over something stupid. But Jess gave me some of hers that I was missing and we made due. I was just a little sad. 

Dinner was nice though. And we all just sat together doing little crafts and enjoying the company. 

And we still have tomorrow. The plan is to do some photoshoots and make a little painting project together. I hope to sleep better tonight though. Im going to go take a shower and get cozy and try to get to bed earlier. Wish me luck. Goodnight everyone! Wash your hands!

[that-one-guy-who-does-the-thing]

everyone talkin about the king jumpin off the building at the end of fallen kingdom and how sad it is but everyone is forgetting the part from take back the night where the master villager guy was crushed by the spike flail. like fellas. the king survived. he survived the entire thing, but that master guy is like actually dead. 

you know what? time to do a rundown on this original minecraft plus one parody series (take back the night, find the pieces, and dragonhearted are all original songs)

so first of all, let me point out something about fallen kingdom. people dont seem to notice it in the first listen and sometimes they never figure it out but the majority of it is actually a flashback. notice the king’s beard is longer in the night time scenes and everything’s broken. like, of course the king isn’t dead. how would he be walkin around after all that shit happened in the destruction if he was??? anyway, lets move on to something i spent too much time writing.

those songs introduced so many characters that are all unique but arent explored really at all (mostly because the songs dont tell much of a story. just the bare minimum because thats about as much as you can do with minecraft parodies.)

 like the guard with the nose itch,

these fellas

and the archer

like you cant really notice it while youre dancing and stuff but these guys are pretty cool to me. notice in the second image of the guard, his mustache is bigger. this shows that time has passed from the flashback on the left and the flashback on the right. it’s showing how the characters age. might just be me but that sort of thing really shows that these characters have lives. the pigs you can tell someone put effort into their designs and the archer you can kind of tell he’s confused and has seemingly never really had to shoot at anyone before

and then onto the more “subtley characterized” characters

the queen

you can tell all the violence is too much for her. she cries as she watches her husband take the sword and go outside. other characters in reaction to the mobs simply grabbed weapons and fought back whereas the queen was just crying. granted we dont see many citizens fighting back against them at all but you get my point.

the three villagers from the search party

you can tell the white and green ones are more experienced. the brown one seems jumpy, frightened, and confused. the white one silently grieves when the green one tells them that the mother is dead.

...and now onto the more heavily focused characters

the pig king

surprisingly, the pig king isn’t really shown to do much other than sit around. they make it seem like he’s the one in charge of everything though. he’s important but he’s not shown as much. just wanted to get him out of the way cause this was a cool screenshot

the pig commander guy

this guy just screams “cocky bastard”. literally every time he’s onscreen he either has a smirk or is reacting to something else. bonus for his little science man on the right. he doesn’t show up again (to my knowledge) but you can tell exactly what kind of character he is. we’ve all seen the “science man raises one finger as the boss ignores him” scene. anyway, back to the cocky guy.

this scene really i think shows his character the best. mustache man here is cornered and afraid and resorts to crying and giving up. this pig guy mocks him for a second before raising his sword.

the trio from the beginning of find the pieces

the chef is another character you can kind of get. like, he’s your basic “happy neighbor pal” or.. or just you know. “the buddy”. he’s sittin there cooking and he’s real happy about it until the hero bursts into the room and he drops the bowl. he takes a second to see who did it and when he sees the hero he laughs about it. like a “ha ha classic hero”. his expression on the bottom is a fading smile after the hero explains a dream he had. this is important for later so hold onto that.

the farmer.

you can tell he’s just done with life. he’s living basically on autopilot at this point. he looks like he’d wear the “i really wish i weren’t here right now” pin. you can kind of see bored and “done with everyone’s shit” and maybe a bit of vague “nostalgia sadness” yknow? also, this is off-topic but this panel makes for a great meme template. go ahead and use it please thank you.

the scientist

honestly? this guy doesnt have any characterization other than “i am the smart”. like he’s just the guy that gets the scroll off the shelf and tells the hero about the kingdom. but i do really like this character nonetheless. you really know exactly what kind of person he is because you’ve seen this kind of person so many times before.

ok so. remember before when i was talking about the chef and told you to remember something? notice the colors of these three’s robes. these might be the same villagers from the search party. this could explain why the hero went to these three villagers and why the cook lost his smile when he heard the hero’s story and why the scientist had a map and knew about the kingdom. the farmer was the confused jumpy guy before but now it seems like nothing can phase him. this might be because he didnt really get to do anything and he wasn’t involved as much because he was just the backpack guy. ‘s also why he doesnt do much here either. that might be a stretch but idc man let me theorize.

also they show up again later

the scientist is the one designing all the iron golems and planning where they patrol during the big fight scene in dragonhearted. the scene is set up in a way that makes it seem like he is crushed and killed by big robo pig herobrine. this is not the case though. 

all three are seen later in the final scene. theyre not dead (thank god)

anyway lets talk about the master

sorry for the weird stretching btw i edited all this in paint from screenshots. anyway uhh so the master. you get a little bit of characterization here from him. a lot of these characters are stereotypes but that’s really expected considering this is a minecraft parody series. theres not a whole lot of talking you can do. this guy is literally the master guy in an action comedy. you can tell what kind of action comedy master you get from this scene alone. he makes the hero stew so he’s obviously a very caring master, and the following scene shows that he has a sense of humor, but hides it just to look cool. the moment he notices someone see him laughing he pretends it never happened. also a small detail here i wanna point out real quick. i love that the villagers can separate their arms here, but i ESPECIALLY love when they put them together. like, they dont always do it but they still do. i just love it. anyway...

because of this and the fact that the hero and the master were pretty much the only two in the song for a while there, it actually stings when the master is killed. the hero’s reaction is DEFINITELY a factor in this too. this guy was like a second father to him and now this is the second father he’s lost. FUCK i love these songs SO MUCH. i wonder what it would be like if the master ever met the king

note: i didnt characterize the hero, the king, or herobrine given that they are the main main three characters. you can probably figure out their personalities on your own. (well, almost all of them. herobrine doesnt really have much of one other than “occasionally turns into a disney villain when he finds out the king took the eye out of the portal”)

anyway uh, another thing this series really does is just visuals. cool lookin scenes all over the place here.

like look at this shit. especially the ones from dragonhearted. i think that picture of the golem was used everywhere for a short time and i dont blame them. its an epic shot and i love it.

...and i didnt even include the two classic scenes that you can visualize in your head at any moment

these two moments are so fucking powerful you don’t understand. like look at these. god. shit, this is just.. hhhh i love this series so much. you know, sometimes i like to think of stupid theories... like imagine if revenge was actually part of this series. it has no effect on the story but it seems to follow the same “rules” (all characters are in hardcore mode is a big one). idk maybe they did happen in the same universe but steve is just a great ancestor to the king or something. anyway, thats all the energy i can spend on one post. it took an hour and a half to write this and grab the screenshots. feel free to add on to this list of things we all love about fallen kingdom and the others.

#minecraft #mineblr #fallen kingdom #captainsparklez #take back the night #find the pieces #dragonhearted #minecraft parody #sorry im adding so many tags i just #hhhhh spent a while writing this and i'd love for people to see this #long post

[musashi]

whatever im just directly responding to this one because apparently if i don’t you’ll just take every other post i make out of context

Okay, for anyone concerned, here’s the end to the tumblr user musashi saga. To reiterate, the original sin is that I blocked her without comment. 

the original sin is that you did something i’ve repeatedly stated is heavily traumatic. reducing it to you blocked me is an intentional downplaying of my feelings and baggage. i have a disclaimer in my BYF to not befriend me if you are incapable of ending a friendship civilly and instead ghost/abandon people. you read the BYF. You read the disclaimer. you did it anyways. you blocked me without a word. i thought we were friends, and you sliced me out of your life without so much as an explanation.

Because I saw her post this shit beating others down all the time. And I got tired. And then she did it to me.

i literally don’t know what you’re referring to. there’s no link here. i don’t beat anyone down. sometimes people mistreat me and i get rightfully mad at them for mistreating me. beyond that, i literally just blog about pokemon. in another post you said you unfollowed me over hazbin hotel or some shit, which is an animated show i’ve never seen and have no opinions on.

[screencap of a personal post where i’m clearly panicking]

cool! nice one. real empathy and compassion showing here.

I didn’t say any of this, aside from that we weren’t friends.  (edited to point this out.) We literally had only talked on a cursory level a handful of times. 

you’re literally missing the point. you said that we weren’t friends, and used that as your defense for literally blocking me. it doesn’t MATTER if you personally thought we weren’t friends. I thought we were friends. I thought you liked me. my feelings were hurt, i was crushed. just because you think its NBD “she probably doesn’t even remember me” doesn’t mean you are absolved. You may have thought that, and I believe you thought that, but you were mistaken. This made me even more upset--not only did my friend block me, but my friend didn’t even consider us friends.

even if i didn’t consider us friends, what you did to me was wrong. but the fact that i did and you don’t just means it hurts more. that’s literally it. i recognize that i didn’t mean to you what you meant to me, but that literally does not mean anything you did was okay. i don’t know how to spell this out further!!!!!

She also says that I am falsely claiming that I did not block her – a claim I never made– and also that I never apologized for unfollowing her, when in fact I did, repeatedly, trying to get this to stop.

YOU DID NOT APOLOGIZE. I DON’T UNDERSTAND WHAT YOU ARE TRYING TO GAIN FROM LYING ABOUT THIS. you keep saying this! what do i have to do to prove you didn’t apologize? does ANYONE reading this have ANY ideas??? Elliot literally won’t state, anywhere that i can FIND, WHERE he supposedly apologized. alledgedly, he’s sent me apologies MULTIPLE TIMES EVEN??? i dont know where i’m supposed to be looking. my tumblr DMs? my tumblr asks i think? i pretty obsessively read my ask box, i don’t have access to DMs but i never received any, of that I am sure. this is important to me and i would remember! you have not contacted me! the closest you have come to contacting me, besides publicly talking about me on your blog, is frantically sending my friend marcus a bunch of messages about me and then BLOCKING HIM AS WELL. ALL of this i learned because marcus came to me incredibly confused (as was i) asking why my name was coming up all of a sudden. that is ALL i have heard from you. there have been no apologies, no one on one chats. it is WAY easier for you to prove to your followers that you sent an apology than for me to prove that i didn’t receive one, so can you please? can you give me ANY ideas on how to prove that i’m telling the fucking truth? literally WHAT do i have to gain from lying about this????? do you think i get some kind of sick enjoyment out of this shit??? do you think having someone i thought was my friend on the opposite side of things makes me happy??????? do you think i enjoy this?? i don’t understand what you think i have to gain from lying! i didn’t receive an apology, a clarification, a single word from you! this is all the talking you have done with me. public talking, and talking through marcus. you have not contacted me. the last time i heard anything from you was probably an ask or dm you sent me months ago. i wish you would either believe me or just admit you didn’t apologize and send me even one message and have EVEN ONE CONVERSATION with me! i don’t understand how THIS is easier for you! i don’t understand why THIS is the way you did things, and why you’re insisting you tried any other approach!!! i literally just want to understand!!!!!

Literally please compare this post to what I have ACTUALLY said about the situation on my blog. 

ok i will

literally right here you posted an interaction between us. it’s just an ask where you asked me a question about getting to your ask and i responded. you go on to say ‘how am i supposed to get ‘friendship’ from this?’ and then you go on to talk about how i answered some other asks before yours, denoting the asks i answered as ‘friends’ and (correct me if im misunderstanding!!!) implying the ones i didn’t answer as ‘not friends.’ but that doesn’t make any sense. my friendship level with people has nothing to do with how readily i am to answer their asks. what asks i answer depends on time, energy, how compelled i am with the topic at hand, and a lot of other things. im looking at this screencap and i don’t understand how I’M supposed to get “not friends” from it. you posting this made me feel like you were reading deeply into every single interaction i had with you... i dont understand how i was supposed to know that the way i responded here was “unfriendly,” and i don’t understand how i’m supposed to know that me answering certain asks in a certain order has any connotation other than the literal one-wendy is answering certain asks in a certain order. and yeah sometimes i burnout or lose steam and just delete all my asks or don’t get to some. i didn’t realize i was being monitored on that too... thats what i was talking about in my personal post you very rudely put on display. i just thought we were friends, i didn’t realize there were all these... micro-interactions i had to be monitoring? i didn’t realize this stuff would make a difference about if you liked me back or not, i thought we were just friends and we liked each other already.

you also said:

She genuinely never called me by my name. She didn’t know how to spell it because she’d never spelled it before. My friends know that my name is not spelled like that because it’s 1 letter off from a very famous person. This wasn’t a guilt trip; it was truly just hurtful for her to address me by name the first time when she was calling me an asshole.

i didn’t know this was a social faux pas either. i am honestly really bad with names and even if i’ve known someone for years i will nervously check their blog to make sure i am getting their name right. i didn’t nervously check yours because when someone hurts me i can’t bear to look at their social media for fear of what i might find there. but i think “she spelled my name wrong and therefore we weren’t friends” (my understanding at least) is kind of drastic. if that is the case, i really don’t have as many friends as i thought i did.

sorry i did that, in any case. i’ll learn from it and not do it in the future.

I hope doing so makes it clear the extent to which a popular blogger (WHO I LITERALLY HARDLY SPOKE TO BEFORE THIS) 

like you literally just keep twisting the knife in. i don’t know how to tell you that how much i am able to talk to people has nothing to do with how much i like them and if i consider them a friend or not... this is hurtful. you keep bringing up how little we talked, or how i talked to you, and its hurtful. i just don’t understand why it’s so hard for you to understand that, esp when you’re autistic also. how have you not experienced exactly what you’re doing to me? someone who doesn’t understand the way you value a person’s company because they’re not allistic ways? i can’t talk to my friends all the time. sometimes, the most i can do is a like in their direction, a response to something they sent me, or even just silently reading their posts. 

what about this is not clicking? my ways of showing love and appreciation are different. you were in my private discord server, something that is HEAVILY vetted due to past abuse and full of people i consider my closest friends. you were someone i followed on tumblr, something i do not easily extend because of just how much rhetoric on this website upsets and overwhelm me. and regardless of if we didn’t talk enough by your standards, you still liked so many of my posts and i regarded you fondly and enjoyed seeing you and considered you my friend. just because my ways of showing appreciation were not in alignment with your ways or your standards, that doesn’t mean they don’t exist or matter.

has been intentionally manipulating my words and actions to make herself feel better about losing a follower she thought was cool, through her own actions at that. 

i’m not a “popular blogger,” who “lost a follower,” i’m a person who lost a friend. if i am really this... image you’re painting of me, of some social media influencer with “tens of thousands of followers” (i’m. not?? i don’t even have one 10k, let alone several) then why would i care about losing ONE?

i don’t know how to spell this out clearer. i’m traumatized. my trauma centers around repetitive abandonment from friends, more specifically blocking/softblocking/deactivating/moving blogs. to paint you a picture, there are certain posts on this website that actively trigger me despite being harmless, because they were the last post at the top of a friend’s blog before the friend remade their entire social media just to leave me in the dust. sometime’s i’ll be scrolling and some errant funnyman text post will send me spiraling.

and that’s what you did to me. that is why i am upset. it has nothing to do with making me feel better, it has nothing to do with manipulation, i do not need to manipulate this situation and to say that about a borderline having a fucking breakdown because someone perpetuated a horrible trauma she’s lived through time and time again is fucked up, wrong, and shitty. you are constantly downplaying my feelings by acting like just because you didn’t consider me a friend, what you did was okay. you refuse to talk to me one on one, or show me any indication of the apology you keep claiming you sent. and now you are acting as though this speaking out i am doing has to do with some ~tumbler dot corn callout dramaz~ instead of a person lamenting and hurting on her personal blog about yet another person hurting her in a very easily avoidable way.

i don’t know what “my own actions” are that drove you away. you didn’t have a conversation with me about them, or if you did i never saw it. i just woke up one day and you had blocked me. i still don’t know why you blocked me. i just know all the reasons you think it was an okay thing to do.

You can genuinely read back to see that what she claims I am saying and doing is at best self-aggrandizingly misinterpreted, and at worst actively and maliciously misleading.

maybe things wouldn’t get misinterpreted if you instead communicated with me instead of just ghosting me and trying to talk yourself out of the guilt of it. i don’t want to misinterpret anything, i just am having trouble understanding why you did any of this to me and your answers to all those questions aren’t helping me understand because i can’t ask about them in real time.

I am reiterating the same shit because it’s the truth. Her desperation to convince her tens of thousands of followers that I’m “lying”, while asserting that I said things that I did truly actually not and you can literally just go see that on my blog in writing, is tremendously telling.

i clarified some here, but i still don’t know where i’m supposed to be looking for this apology. 

again, i don’t have tens of thousands of followers, and me posting on this blog isn’t about reaching an audience or whatever, it’s about... processing the pain you’ve caused me.

I will say it bluntly now: You are not a person I would ever want to be friends with. 

thats fine, but i wish you would have just told me that instead of doing this. a lot of my friendships end because i was incompatible with a person who doesn’t feel the need to traumatize me to avoid having a conversation. you could’ve just shot me a DM and told me it wasn’t meant to be, and i could’ve thanked you for your time and moved on with my life.

I cannot be emotionally manipulated in such transparent ways, and I am not impressed by you. If that makes you mad, I hope the fire keeps fizzling.

my suffering won’t make your life better, and demonizing me won’t lessen the guilt of what you did to me. you’ll heal a lot faster if you just admit to even just yourself that maybe you could’ve handled things more gracefully. 

this is exactly what you did to me. and you confronted one of my friends asking for space/understanding about why it hurt you. right here you literally ask marcus, word for word, what i wanted for you. the hypocrisy you’re showing me is astounding.

#tenderskeptic #smeargletail #also dont think i haven't seen all the wild shit you said to marcus like... come on. #long post #also please stop calling me musashi its a japanese name and im a white girl #if you MUST call me by my username you can call me mu for short #but my name is jessie or wendy please do not call me that #it says in my about not to call me that and has for YEARS #i know you like disregarding my about pages but this one is MORE IMPORTANT

[edge-lorde]

hp update: its been a long time, boys. ud think that with this plague outbreak id have more time for shitty phone games, and ud be right! however, the time i normally might use to make tumblr posts has been taken up by reading lotr orc fanfiction non-stop for at least 1 full month. id still be in the thick of that obsession even now if only the fics would update. that is how i find you today folks, for the first time in many weeks i am staring at a screen with nothing to do. so come with me friends, theres no better way to fill the soulless void we are all in than reading a nice long tumbler post. 

disclaimer, first of all, a lot has happened, i prefer to keep these updates as plot spoiler free as possible but do to extenuating circumstances i feel like it is necessary to say, [SPOILER SPOILER SPOILER SPOILER BELOW]

that rowan fucking died,

i wont say exactly how, but i will say that her death was animated as were animations of myself and a few others reacting to our friend fresh corpse. obviously meant to be serious moments but the animations made it seem almost comical. 

i saw at least one post going around right after this update that was like ‘how could the game devs do this to us..... how could they hate rowan so.... this is punishment from on high’ and its like.... u guys do know what a story is right? the events of  a story are not typically done to punish less faithful fans, im pretty sure they were planning to kill rowan off from the beginning. this isnt disney im pretty sure the writers are not writing each chapter the night before its released by popular vote. 

that little “are we drifting away..?” scene with rowan makes more sense now. there was a bit in one of the scenes where the kids all reminisce on rowans life and the mc talks about it being the last real one on one time they had with rowan. a nice bitter sweet moment. i dont hate this turn of events. its a good reminder that actions have consequences and we are way past they days of “should i wear a hat or scarf?” its YA time now. 

i did manage to take 1 screenshot from this time, i had commented that before that when rowan said she didnt have many friedns that barnaby seemed to be hanging out with her without be there as a friend buffer and here was his reaction to her death:

;_;

the funniest part in all of this however, was of course cedericks reaction to rowans death “but she was so young....” LOL fuckin RIP.

lets see... what else.... i forget a lot of what happened but i think there was a time sensitive quidditch event in there somewhere? if so i  dont remember it. what i do remember of the quidditch pals is that im gonna play beater now, skye is being weird and cagey about it, andre is involved.... the others are there.....

sidenote, i love the shitty b characters they throw in to be like yes you know this person but no they are not cool enough for u to even think about befriending. the first one of those is face paint kid, and now we have another, who is a former beater girl with horrible bangs named bean who didnt go to any classes for a whole season so she could just play ball 24/7 and got kicked off the team.  this is a character who only exists to provide an explanation as to why there would be a beater position open but i love them on principle. 

right now im in the midst of another time sensitive event, this one is a bother-your-brother-at-work-day event where recent hogwarts graduate bill weasley is bullied by myself and his younger brother charlie into letting us go with him on one of his curse breaking jobs. 

so for those unfamiliar, bill works for the magical bank of england.... and his job seems to be “retrieving treasure” for said bank. in the books, there is a bit where he takes his family on one of his trips to egypt, where his job seemed to have been tomb plundering indiana jones style for the posterity of the english bank :X. i wont explain here why thats bad but its bad. 

the game devs however in this instance, at least SEEM to be doing what jkr couldnt do by attempting to salvage what is left of gringotts bank and form it into not a super shitty implications factory run by horrible jewish caricatures. bills mission is to retrieve a goblin made artifact that was taken by dragons, so no going to foreign countries to steal things from other people! only going to a dragon reserve to rifle through animal nests. they even appear to be providing us with a likable goblin character, egad!  

my hope for this event is that we get a plotline about how maybe, goblins arent shifty human haters for no reason, and in fact they hate magic humans for very understandable reasons, like being forced to go into hiding with the rest of the magical world even though only the humans wanted to do that, and maybe despite running the bank in england they still dont have a lot of political sway in the world of wizards and witches, and have to rely on the faith that said wizards and witches wont fuck them over at every turn, even as they see how they treat other non-humans, such as house elves, which they desperately dont want to end up like. and maybe they DONT only care about gold... maybe thats a human stereotype based on the fact that theres a long history of humans not respecting goblin ownership customs.... which i could get into..... but i wont.... i just....... very badly dont want them to suck ;__________;

i know i said its ok to still like a piece of media as long as you recognize the problems with it, and i do, but once this game is done im gonna stop hp posting all together. ive been feeling more and more uncomfortable making these posts lately.  

GENERAL GAME NOTES; theres been some new layout changes and such. 

most notably the stairs screen has been changed from a bulleted list of all locations to a screen with tiles picturing an image of each location along with the name + icons of all classes at each place. there is one additional location that is new and yet to be unlocked, and the dragon reservation is appearing temporarily as its own tile as well. i prefer this method of getting in and out of a temporary location to how they did it with car during the last christmas special. the stairs icon also now stays in the corner when you scroll through locations, allowing you to open the stairs menu without scrolling all the way back to the left. 

they also moved a few of the buttons down into the lower left corner rather than the left side & combined the story button and sidequest button. they added a little camera button as well, just like in the dormitory, that makes all the icons in a location disappear and look better for screenshots. 

the daily special add offer thing now has its own button in the top right corner of the screen, and idk if i mentioned it before but now there are daily challenges that appear in the sidequest screen that offer small rewards for completing 3 tasks per day + a better one if u get all 3. the prizes are things like 4 energy, 75 coins, 3 monster food. the better rewards are usually either more coins, 8 energy, 3 gems, or 1 notebook. i think that it does all the different color notebooks but i cant remember for sure if i ever saw the gold one up as a reward. i like this addition in any case. if you dont pick up ur reward by the end of the day, the next time u log on it will force u to stop and accept them, and if one of the rewards is energy and ur energy bar is full, it does not seem to stack beyond the bar so watch out.

 the character stats page is now more zoomed out so you can see your full character instead of just from the waist up. no change to the leaderboard. rowans face in the friendship roster is now a still black and white image that says ur friend may be gone but friendship is forever u-u. 

rowan has been removed from all classes. in the classes where the minigames involved her, those minigames have passed the mantle onto other friends in the class. in potions that person is now liz helping u find stuff off the shelves and in tranfiguration that person is badeea. bless these girls for helping mc get through it. touched my heart. 

theres been a few fun little “i know u have more free time now so uhhhh have some energy” prizes like they do sometimes when they dont update on schedule so thats been nice. just a few days ago they gifted us 3 gold notebooks the same way. :O. 

theres also been a few instances of a energy happy hour where for a limited time energy takes less time to refresh. normally it takes 4 mins for 1 energy to do this but during happy hour its like 2:30 mins. :U its all very interesting.

and that will have to do it for tonight my friends, ill do a post for the dragon event when its done because i do like it so far and i do like getting to bully bill with charlie. 

until next time, remember.......

#hp #harry potter #hphm #harry potter hogwarts mystery #bill weasley #goblins #charlie weasley #sirius business #rowan khanna #rambling #Thoughts #so sorry im still making these posts #i just want to see them through to the end now