#this post has no point i can't remember where i was going with this bye

[wobster109]

Dissecting the post-Sunday conversation between Ratio and Aventurine

This conversation is not, as many are interpreting, proof of Dr. Ratio's loyalty.

It couldn't be: they are still in the dreamscape, where the Family's eyes and ears are everywhere. No, this is a post-mission debrief, heavily encoded and disguised as a quarrel.

Dr. Ratio: You look pale. Or, is that also part of your act? Aventurine: Didn't think you'd have the nerve to show yourself. Dr. Ratio: I thought this was exactly what you wanted. After all, I faithfully fulfilled my duties as you instructed. Dr. Ratio: Just tell me if you can't hold on any longer. Aventurine: So, the "genius" of the Council of Mundanites wants to be my undertaker now? My… what an honor.

First part of the convo. Aventurine is playing his part perfectly. He’s acting angry and hurt: Ratio you rotten betrayer.

Interestingly, Ratio is slipping. Are you ok? Tell me if you can’t hold on. It almost sounds like he's a bit unsure about what happened. "I thought this was what you wanted", like he's asking for reassurance in some form.

Aventurine has to work hard to drag Ratio back on-script. "Have you forgotten, Doctor? You betrayed me." It's a hint and a reminder: stick with the plan, Doctor!

Dr. Ratio: Yes, and I'm pretty sure the people at the Strategic Investment Department would love to be notified of your death in due time, but let's not forget you won't be seeing them, because I'm the manager of this task. Aventurine: Great, then tell your people that Aventurine is ready to go in seventeen system hours.

Ratio asks for instructions (disguised as a taunt), and Aventurine provides them. I'm not entirely sure what instructions were given. It seems to be What should I tell the IPC? / Here's what you tell them.

Aventurine: My conversation with Sunday convinced me that there's a traitor in The Family, and that they hold the secrets of Penacony… So, I took the opportunity to set everything in motion. Aventurine: I even managed to recover the gift money. Things haven't gone this smoothly since I walked through the doors of The Reverie… Now, I'm only one step away from victory. Let's just wait and see.

Confirms that everything is on track. I believe the line about the gift money is actually him confirming that he has the aventurine cornerstone.

Dr. Ratio: Sounds like a very elaborate way of saying that you failed. Aventurine: That's all I can say. Have you forgotten, Doctor? You betrayed me.

This sounds like a bit of a warning from Aventurine. Remember we can't say too much here.

Dr. Ratio: You've got a lot of nerve — how exactly do you plan on completing your task while you're hands are tied by The Harmony? [...] Dr. Ratio: That's true, but what's your plan? Did you conceal an Orbital Support beacon in that gift money bag?

This is interesting. Ratio doesn't know the full plan! I imagine he's tremendously on edge. He's fishing for info, again disguised as taunts, specifically info about how Aventurine is going to get himself out—but of course, Aventurine can't say it out loud, not in the dreamscape.

Ratio is at the breaking point.

Dr. Ratio: Fine. Here, take this. Open it when you're on your last legs. You'll thank me.

YES this is what I was waiting for, the moment when his whole voice changes! His usual tone is very much like giving-a-speech. He pronounces each word and syllable with precision, and clearly enunciating all the ending consonants.

Not here though. It's all grumbles. I think this might be the first time we're seeing cracks, and the personal Dr. Ratio is showing through instead of the public-speaking one.

Aventurine: You catch on pretty fast, Doctor.

He caught on that he was supposed to play along and not say anything that outright gives the plan away. (In my opinion he was pushing it a bit.)

I wonder if that's why he pulls the sudden disappearing act. He's slipping up, and/or bad at saying good-bye. Can't trust himself to get another word out. 🥺

#honkai star rail #spoilers #dr. ratio #aventurine #2.1 penacony

[acourtofthought]

Because I follow the "Elain Archeron" tag, Tumblr will occasionally make recommendations on my feed and some of those happen to end up being posts written by E/riels.

One of these suggestions mentioned that Elain and Az are well suited to one another due to their quiet and reserved natures and I had to shake my head because, what?!

The Elain in the Night Court who talks softly, has hands that shake around Az, is quiet and reserved is the Elain still experiencing the effects of trauma which we know she still has because she herself confirmed it in SF.

The Elain from before:

She had come alive here, and her joy was infectious. There wasn’t a servant or gardener who didn’t smile at her, and even the brusque head cook found excuses to bring her plates of cookies and tarts at various points in the day

Elain had taken charge of planning and finding me a last-minute dress, and … it would only be for an evening.

But I tried to smile, if only for Elain, who flitted about the room, personally greeting each guest and dancing with all their important sons.

Two in the morning, and yet the party was showing no signs of slowing. / Elain was laughing among a circle of beautiful friends, flushed and brilliant. Nesta had silently left at midnight, and I didn’t bother to say good-bye as I finally slipped upstairs.

Elain, to my surprise, had a horse, a satchel of food, and supplies ready when I hurried down the stairs. My father was nowhere in sight. But Elain threw her arms around me, and, holding tightly, said, “I remember—I remember all of it now.”

“We keep it secret—we send the servants away. With the spring approaching, they’ll be glad to go home. And if Feyre needs to be in and out for meetings, she’ll send word ahead, and we’ll clear them out. Make up excuses to send them on holidays.

Order them to leave now.” “I’ll do it,” Elain said, taking a deep breath and squaring her shoulders. She didn’t wait for either of us before she strode out, graceful as a doe.

“My sister Elain can convince anyone to do anything with a few smiles.”

Does that seem like a reserved and quiet female or does that seem like someone who, while kind, takes charge and is the life of the party? Someone who comes alive when in the right place?

Does the Elain of the Night Court seem to be the center of everything that's going on or does she seem to fade in the presence of the others?

And if that's not convincing enough:

“Elain is overwhelmed by crowds.” “SHE DIDN'T USE TO BE THAT WAY". Nesta swirled her glass of amber liquid. “She loved balls and parties.” The words hung unspoken. But you and your court dragged us into this world. Took that joy away from her.

Feyre then tells Nesta she's "readjusting" and sure, Elain isn't a total shell, she's doing her best to make a life for herself but she's definitely not the vibrant person she once was.

We are told point blank that the Elain in the Night Court is different and it's clearly not a good thing.

Show me a scene where Az ever happily wandered around from person to person making conversation in a social setting outside of the IC. Show me a scene where he's happily chatting up even a single person outside the IC.

Show me a scene where people are eager to do things for Az because he's such a pleasure to be around.

Feyre wonders if Az gets some of his information from "stone cold manners" but there's never any proof of it happening and even if it had, having manners in order to spy on someone isn't the same as actually enjoying the interaction.

The fact is that Az and Elain do not have similar personalities and any connections people are trying to make is based off Elain as she is after very recent and extreme traumas.

It's a problem in this fandom that I often notice with certain groups and something they seem to do with both Gwyn and Elain.

They think Gwyn can't be interested in Az because she started SF in a low place. They look at Elain as she is in the NC and have based their entire opinion of who she is off that.

They fail to realize that ACOWAR, ACOFAS and SF are poor representations of who these two females actually are (as who they are in those books are who they are because of trauma). They fail to consider who they'll be once they've fully overcome their traumas.

Gwyn isn't going to shy away from males forever.

We've already seen growth from her in SF and she's only going to continue healing. Thinking that it's going to take too long for her to overcome what happened to her and therefore can not go on to have a happy relationship before the series ends is a disturbing mentality.

And thinking that we're not going to eventually see the return of the Elain who took charge and convinced others what to do with smiles alone, who thrived when surrounded by friends and non friends (just people in general), who loved balls and parties is a bit odd because that's the Elain who is canonically the happiest we've ever seen her to be.

And if there is the acknowledgement that we will see the return of that Elain but someone still believes she'd be well matched with Az who Cassian tells us "likes his space", it's possibly the strangest thing of all.

Sure Elain and Az are physically attracted to one another, that can not be disputed.

However what also cannot be disputed is that the Lucien who easily makes friends wherever he goes and enjoys parties, who prefers to avoid violence is an exact match for the happy version of Elain who easily makes friends, enjoys parties, and is bothered by cruelty.

Someone can prefer the opposites attract trope but it's completely false to claim that Elain and Az are similar in personality.

But regardless of what tropes we prefer, in the end what someone wants to see won't matter because SJM doesn't seem to prefer opposites attract and she's the one calling the shots.

#pro elucien #elucien #elain archeron #lucien vanserra #pro elain archeron #pro gwynriel #anti e/riel #anti e*riel #antielriel

[bropunzeling]

jess bropunzelling i would die if i got a director's cut/alternate pov of leon's response to matthew accidentally popping the question post coutal. how is she chewing on this!!! are her flight or fight instincts kicking in!!! what makes her suddenly decide actually today works best but tomorrow is also fine!

Just think about it.

Leon stares down the exercise bike, then grimly hops on and starts pedaling. Despite how hard she's pushing herself, she can't not remember what Matthew said last weekend, the way he had broken the comfortable silence that had settled between them.

Just think about it.

Over the past few years, Leon has prided herself on not getting too mad at Matthew. Okay, on the ice is one thing. He practically expects it. And of course they fight -- but it's mostly teasing. Who has the better hometown. Where to go during their limited time together. Winning and losing at video games, or horse, or the stupid challenges they set for themselves throughout the season around points streaks. It's not about big stuff. When it comes to big stuff, they've been good. Talking through things. Noticing shit before it can grow into something poisonous, that brings out the worst in them both.

Right now, though, she's pretty mad.

She can't believe he fucking sprung that on her. Talking about -- and it was ten in the goddamn morning, and she was naked and her thighs were still damp and she was getting cold, the way she always does after sex, and all of the sudden he's talking about -- about marrying her.

Leon pedals harder, until the lactic acid starts burning in her quads. Then she ups the resistance.

Things have been good, is the thing. Or at least, she thought they were. Her parents like Matthew, and her sister does too. His parents like her, or at least his mom does -- she can never quite get a read on whether Big Walt actually likes her, and his advice is incredibly annoying, but Matthew doesn't seem worried, so she won't worry either. Taryn thinks she's cool, which is both flattering and kind of a trip. Even Brady's warmed up to her, and Brady nearly concussed her the year before last.

Everything has felt steady. Like Leon's finally found her sea legs. Like she's finally figured out how to manage playing as hard as she can, finding her place among her boys, and also having Matthew, too. Calling him when she's tired on the road. Spending her days off at his place when they did their swing through Florida. Planning out their bye weeks. She's navigated Christmas shopping, and more than one actual, proper date, in a restaurant with cloth napkins and everything, and she even told her grandmother -- or at least, after her mother told her grandmother first.

This summer especially she's felt like they've found a rhythm, gotten in sync. It's been comfortable. It's been easy.

And now Matthew wants to change it.

Now that Leon's legs are screaming at her, she hops off the bike and grabs a towel to wipe off the sweat. Only once she's taken care of the worst of it does she stagger off to the women's locker room and into the showers.

She wasn't lying to Matthew when she said she never thought about marriage. At sixteen, she figured she'd play until she was 35 -- 40, if she was healthy and lucky -- and then after that -- well. After that, everything else could happen. A partner. Children. Maybe moving back to Germany; maybe staying around in Canada. It was always hazy. Nothing was as clear as the scrape of skates, the noise of the crowd, the way the Cup would feel in her hands.

Now, though, she has to think about it. If nothing else, because she basically told Matthew she would.

What would it even look like, though?

As she scrubs off the sweat and grabs some shampoo from the dispenser, Leon tries to think it through. Immediately, memories from Brady's wedding last summer come to mind: the seemingly endless number of aunts and uncles and cousins who kept sucking her into conversation; all the noise that seemed to start at noon and end at midnight; the matching dresses and the speeches and the enormous cake and the dance party and the way she didn't even see Matthew until he snuck out to make out with her for ten minutes in the middle of dinner. When she tries to picture herself in Emma's place, smiling in a white dress as hundreds of people she barely knows come up to congratulate her, she wants to peel herself out of her own skin.

So. Definitely not that.

As she towels off and roots around for her street clothes in her locker, Leon tries to be logical. She knows that's not necessarily what Matthew meant. Marriage isn't a wedding, even if the thought of another enormous Tkachuk bash with her at the center of it makes her want to walk out into the wilderness and not come back. When he'd talked about it, he'd talked about permanency. About knowing she'd be there for the rest of his life.

It's more than a little frightening.

If she's honest with herself, that's the real reason she's so angry: she's fucking scared. Scared to want to tie themselves together, when it feels like they've only just figured out what being together means. Scared to choose someone -- choose Matthew -- and know that she can't take that choice back.

Scared that maybe now Matthew will realize who he thinks he wants to be with forever actually is. Someone who can't always control their temper. Who will always think about pushing him away. Even though she's trying, even though she doesn't want to be that person anymore, she knows that version of herself is still there, that it won't ever leave.

What if this time, Matthew figures out that she's too difficult to want?

Now that she's changed, Leon heads back out to the rink. Matthew and Brady are still there, horsing around. And Leon's still pretty mad -- she might always be mad; there might always be that small kernel of rage and frustration burning in the pit of her stomach for so many reasons, impossible to stamp out -- but when Matthew notices she's there and starts making his way towards her, face cracking into a wide open grin, she can feel that mix of affection and annoyance and the overwhelming desire to drag Matthew closer, to not let him out of her sight. Like a magnetic pull, impossible to ignore.

Leon may never be sure when what she felt for Matthew changed from irritation and attraction into this, this sense of love that's simultaneously comfortable and totally overwhelming. It doesn't matter. The point is that she feels it. That she wants to feel it. That she wants to care this much about somebody else, and know that they care the same amount in return.

Once Matthew's close enough, Leon grabs his jacket and drags him in; kisses him. Pulls back. "Go shower. You stink."

Matthew grins at her, eyes curving, grin somewhere between shit-stirring and soft. "Uh-huh," he says, before he sneaks another kiss.

"Shower," Leon repeats, shoving him away, before turning around to ask if Brady is getting lunch with him.

She still isn't sure that she wants that big Tkachuk wedding. Still isn't sure how to reconcile the way she imagined her life at 16 with what Matthew is asking her to consider now. Still isn't sure that this time Matthew won't finally figure out exactly the kind of person Leon is, how she's always going to be, and decide that it isn't worth it in the end.

But she is sure that she wants to have this. This intense, horrible and wonderful pressure in her chest and warmth in her limbs and sense of rightness when she and Matthew are in the same room. She doesn't want to give that up. Not now, not ever.

So. Maybe marriage is something worth thinking about.

#ask meme #girl!leon wip :)

[juanarc-thethird]

How does Ghira and Kali react to hearing about Blake winning a pageant? And then how would they react if they found out she only did that to sleep with Jaune?

For the people that don't remember the first post, here it is Part 1

----------------

*Incoming video call sound*

Blake: Hello?

Kali: *Happy* Hi sweetie!

Ghira: *Happy* How have you been, Blake?

Blake: I'm fine. I don't want to sound rude but why are you guys calling me?

Ghira: Your mother and I stumbled upon a nice surprise this morning.

Blake: A surprise?

Ghira: You see, when we went to the park to walk and we found a kiosk where they sold-

Kali: *Showing a newspaper on the screen* You won Miss Argus!!!!

Blake: How did you guys find out about that?!

Ghira: That's what I was going for. At the kiosk we saw your photo on the front page of the newspaper and we bought it. But I must say, I didn't know you were into beauty pageants.

Kali: Of course she is interested, she is my daughter after all.

Blake: Actually, I'm not interested.

Ghira: You are not?

Kali: But I saw the replay on the internet. You looked so happy and you moved like a professional. As if it wasn't your first time doing this! How can you move like that without being interested in it?!!!

Blake: Simple, I did it to get fucked.

Ghira: Excuse me?!!

Kali: Huh?!!!

Blake: Sorry but I have to come out clean. I mean, just look at him! *Pan to Jaune who is training outside in a sleeveless shirt and holding his sword* Isn't he beefy?!

Ghira: *Upset* Blake! I remind you that you are talking to your parents. Kali, say something.

Kali: Yes, he looks very beefy.

Ghira: Kali!

Kali: Relax, Blake is at that age.

Ghira: She is an adult, she must behave like one.

Kali: Oh, you didn't tell me that when I snuck into your room after I turned 18 so we could f-

Ghira: *Blushing* *Ahem* That's different.

Blake: How?

Ghira: It was different time back then, ok! Besides, that's not the point I'm trying to make, what I mean is that a woman like you should act more appropriately.

Blake: *smiling* Dad, I'll tell you this with all the love and respect I have for you…. *Serious* I will not stop fucking him.

Ghira: What?!

Kali: Oh my~

Blake: Do you know how many girls have thrown themselves at him every time we go to a new city? Too many! Luckily he has rejected them all, but what will happen when he no longer does? What will happen if another girl is the person who dominates him? I can't let that happen.

Ghira: But there are other ways to do it. Can you just talk to him or maybe go out on a date? Those ideas sound better than just fucking him the first chance you get.

Blake: Didn't you see his body?! I have to fuck him!

Ghira: But-!

Kali: Ghira, I think I understand how our daughter feels. First of all she is not living the life of a normal girl. She is trying to save the world. You and I know that this is dangerous, and at any moment she could lose her life in the process. If you and I were in the same situation, I would do anything to be able to spend every second with you. Your daughter is doing that. She is taking action when she can, because tomorrow may be her last day with him. You understand it, don't you?

Ghira: *sighs* I guess... Just keep it PG when you talk to us. I don't want to know about my daughter's sex life.

Blake: Oh thank you so much! You don't know how much it means to me to have your support. Now, if you'll excuse me, Jaune went off to take a shower by himself. So… bye! *Hangs up*

Ghira: Good God, what are we going to do with that girl?

Kali: We can only hope for the best…. and maybe some grandbabies.

#jaune #rwby jaune #jaune arc #rwby jaune arc #blake #blake belladonna #rwby blake #rwby blake belladonna #rwby #rwby ghira belladonna #ghira belladonna #rwby ghira #ghira #kali belladonna #rwby kali belladonna #kali #rwby kali #jaune x blake #rwby jaune x blake #jaune arc x blake belladonna #rwby jaune arc x blake belladonna #knightshade #rwby knightshade

[poorly-drawn-puppet-history]

you won't post 1 headcanon for every puppet. you wont

i WILL. AND i'll do it in chronological order from appearance (more or less). but it will be under a readmore after the first season so i dont interrupt anyones scrollin

The Professor: i think in addition to growing a bit from Dino DNA(tm) he also has feathers now. just some feathers in there with his fur. maybe even molts and is miserable about it

Death: he plays guitar And piano, but just as a hobby. he's like a salaryman who had a garage band as a teenager and never fully gave up on the dream

Propeller: propeller SADSTUCK: i think he legitimately had to go to therapy for the britannica shit that happened. PH feels like it would be that realistic about mental health tbh

Big Pile of Diamonds: his mustache is fake. his greatest secret. his greatest shame.

God: he actually really likes to dance! unfortunately next 2 no one will do it since... The Incident

Train: does he not have a better name... maybe put a mr. in front of there... anyway he feels betrayed by the U.S. since they gave up the train model for highways/interstates and the motorcar industry. gets REALLY heated about it

Mt. Vesuvius: has a bunch of speeches given by famous latin authors and orators memorized, but sometimes he mashes them up without realizing/misattributes which one was written by whom. old man moments

Hatshepsut's Goose: can't remember what their gender was in life. that's fine, they love being a nonbinary icon. AMAB (Assigned Mummy at (em)Balming)

Clipped Coin: dodges the spool's wrath by being unflappable and so down to earth despite his apparent success. truly the king of staying in his own lane

Olympic Torch: hes a cranky piece of shit and only really enjoys sporting competition. he was complaining about being in the group puzzle photo so god just picked him up and he went ffffffffffine. okay. ill smile for 2 seconds

Gay Oars: i think they Also went to therapy, mostly relationship counseling, and now they are back and better than Ever. unbreakable bond. im abt to pen a whole ass comic series about them getting married in purgatory

Policarpa's Spool: still thinks of himself as a spy type, but there's only so much spying he can do in... purgatory. of course, his primary nemesis is the treasure chest.

Lake Donner Snowman: idk if this counts as a headcanon per se but in my very short list where i recast the puppets as famous singers, he is ABSOLUTELY voiced by Weird Al Yankovic.

St. Nick's Wet Bones: sort of taking the whole purgatory thing in stride. he kinda feels like he's in retirement! now he's a minor agent of chaos who's looked after by his darling Pickle Boys

Beast of Gevaudan: i was so sad when the infinitiger wasn't real, i wanted them to have a cooking show together so badly and destroy the horse's self-esteem. i love him. hes so abominably french

Stool of Gold: well-traveled, well-read, literally just as sensible as the Book or the Oars, but finds the chaos entertaining to spectate.

Ziryab's Oud: I think that the puppets have divvied up the whole Wondrium Arena and all have designated Living Areas, and he has a whole dressing room filled with shitty costumes he can't even wear. every time someone knocks he answers like hes on MTV's Cribs.

Bye Bye Brothers: they live in the orchestral pit and treat it like a secret lair. only other Murderer Puppets are allowed in. EXCLUSIVE club

Flower Boat: GNC Icon. this is a flower boat stan account. jenuinely a wholesome, emotional vessel doing their best to pitch in.

Molasses Horse: you can wash him as much as you want, that shit always just comes back somehow. the book theorizes it's psychosomatic at this point, since they're technically only souls at this point.

Tiny Piece of Wheat: bro i bet they went through SUCH phases after finding out about the professor's death. like all five stages of grief and then four more that have not yet been discovered by humans. dw kiddo, u got Grandparents incoming

Emu: the type of guy to fistfight you and then help you up. laid back but ready to throw down at a MOMENT'S notice. has no beef with the Wheat, but generally avoids them to keep from any Upsets.

Treasure Chest: has a little list of get-rick-quick schemes he wants to test, but has no way to in purgatory. he has one braincell bouncing around in his head like the DVD logo

Scabs & Pus: they get to hang out with the Bye Bye Brothers in their little club :) they're gross dudes to look at and be around. but they are ultimately harmless and friendly and just happy to be included.

Book: i love da book. I think he lives in the music library backstage and finds librettos for stageplays/musicals to pitch to the group to put on, as well as produces their little TV shows.

Birch Trees: since they share a root system, they have a telepathic link and communicate without even speaking, which is fucking creepy as hell when one or both of them just start laughing out of nowhere. they probably enjoy acting sinister

Asmodeus: he worked HARD on his song for the show!!!!! i think he's a bit of a ham sometimes when he gets the chance. also his goat head bites literally anything that comes close on reflex.

The Devil: while everything he does is to get souls, it also feels like he wants for positive and is less an Enemy of God and more an Irritating Coworker. in my brain they have a whole Tom and Jerry thing going on.

I don't have anything for the Fake Puppets the Substitute impersonated, but im planning on drawing some infinitiger soon bc he was my fave for sure

The Substitute: this is PURELY crack but i think it would be hilarious if he had voice commands like some tech does. i want him to climb back in the window and ryan just yells XBOX TURN OFF and he vanishes.

Dino Dad/Dinosir: i think even after he gets to the present and learns about all kinds of rocks and gems and crystals he Still just loves a big old rock he can lay on and sun himself with. like a dad and his armchair. doesnt gotta be fancy, just has to be comfy.

Dino Mom/Dinosara: i think she would be REALLY into the fake tv shows the puppets in the Wondrium Arena make. and they'd probably Love to have her as a fan. i think both the professor's parents are Hella popular.

#THIS FELT LIKE RUNNING A MARATHON. I FEEL LIKE IM BEING TESTED BY THE FANDOM. I dont expect anyone 2 read all this but if u do u get a kis #puppet history #the professor ph #the substitute ph #gay oars #watcher entertainment #headcanons #ask answered #peer review? peer support? p #EDIT: if u saw me forget someone no u didnt<3

[destinyamunique]

Ways to Access Your Feminine Energy Tips

On the journey of girlhood, we are not fully taught how to take care of ourselves. Instead, we are given the awkward talk about our period and how we are coming into womanhood, with warnings to be careful around boys. There is confusing propaganda about what a feminine being should be, with many different ideas presented. As a result, many beautiful ladies have gone through life thinking they were "just female" and that there is nothing special about being a feminine being. They endure being catcalled now and then, facing sexist experiences in the workplace, comparing themselves to ever-changing beauty standards, dealing with uterus problems, and so much more.

Women are the healers, lovers, makers, and destroyers, we have played so many meaningful roles in history and even now. It is time for women to come back to our juicy feminine energy these are my tips for accessing your feminine energy.

Sensuality

Sensuality is in all of us you don't have to cast some magic spell to get it. How to get to the feeling of sensuality is by taking a step inside yourself and being present with your senses. My favorite way to exercise my senses is when i am cooking smelling the food cooking in the pan, listening to the sound of vegetables being chopped on the cooking board, tasting the food to make sure it has enough seasoning, and then plating my food making sure it looks presentable. I also find sensuality in dancing which leads to my next point.

Dancing

How can i really go into the explanation of dance I mean it dancing! How could you not love it?! I know it can be a little embarrassing to think of yourself dancing if you are an overthinker. I can be a thinker myself and get a little shy but what I do is shift it. I start to think I am this confident, sexy person who can dance and then I just do it. After you finish reading this post I want you to take 10 mins out of your day to dance and then see how you feel.

Getting Creative

Getting creative can be hard for some of us so I can understand feel you can't. So if you are a person who does know where to start to get creative let me give you a list.

<3 Drawing

<3 Finding diys on YouTube

<3 Scrapbooking

<3 What is something you do a lot in your daily life how can you make that better?

<3 Sewing if you are willing to learn

<3 Going in your closet and try to create a fashion-forward outfit even if you have to fake it till you make it

<3 New hobbies don't need to an expensive one

<3 Try looking up art to get inspired

The last and final one is

Giving yourself the space to be you

If we can't be a safe space for ourselves we would find shelter from the rain.

Reflect on your values and ask yourself are the actions you take align with the true you. Set boundaries with people and even yourself if needed.

Become aware of yourself then take action with self-compassion. Trying to become aware of yourself can sometimes be these wow moments when even surprise ourselves with the things we discover it can be crazy. Don't try to figure out in a day all the things you are not aware of (I tried to do this before) just be in a present state with your thoughts and actions log them down in a journal or a phone. And just also remember whatever comes up remember to keep compassion with yourself and think about the inner child in you that deserves kind words.

THANK YOU FOR READING I HOPE YOU HAVE A LOVELY DAY FULL OF GORG ENERGY! AND HEAL THAT POWERFUL FEMININE INSIDE OF YOU!

bye bye my beautiful babes

#law of assumption #self concept #self care #spirituality #self love #feminine energy #divine feminine #the sacred feminine #feminine empowerment

[voidstilesplease]

Patrivan Drives Me Nuts, And Here's Why: Part 8

S5E5: Please, Tell The Truth [prev, first]

->Because Patrick Gets His "Five Seconds" (And We Get The Most Intimate Sex Scene On Elite)

S4E2: Five Seconds | S5E5: Please, Tell The Truth

Back in part 6, I mentioned something I noticed in one of episode five's scenes that goes back to Patrick's little "five seconds" moment in season 4. And here's me bothering y'all about it.

Let me explain.

Quick recap: So after Patrick walks out of Ivan's room, he decides to sleep in the guest room instead. While in there, he receives a message from Cruz reminding him that he's waiting for Patrick in his room. Patrick hesitates for like, 2 seconds, then gets up to do it anyway. I mean, if Ivan can't do it, his dad's a good enough substitute, no? 😂 Anyway-

Patrick swings the door open and steps out into the hallway, almost bumps into IVAN, who's there just in time to catch him.

What do you know. Ivan finally grows the balls to actually go after Patrick.

And yeah, he's nervous as hell, understandably so, but he's doing his best to just be honest - with Patrick and with himself, especially. He already started 'telling the truth' back in his room when he confessed his attraction to Patrick despite his fear. So why the hell would he regress back into the closet, right? So he won't, and he doesn't.

And he wholeheartedly tells Patrick:

Then he goes right in for that kiss that they've been dangling over our heads since episode 1. LIKE-

He just grabs Patrick by the back of his neck and **smooches**. Lol. I fucking love it.

Okay, so, now this is where my little observation comes in. Some of y'all (if not all) will say I'm just reaching at this point, but idgaf tbh.

Just LOOK-

So, the background music fades out just as their kiss ends, and they both pull back to look at each other's eyes, right? And, so, okay, now LISTEN. If you play the scene and look closely, or monitor the time stamps, or count it yourself, you will see/notice that there is exactly FIVE seconds of gap in the transition from the first background music to the next, which is Brian Eno's By This River.

NOW. Moving on. Of course, we know what happens next 😏😏😏. And, idk, maybe y'all don't agree with what I said in the title of this post that Patrick and Ivan's sex scene is the most intimate one on Elite yet, but let's agree to disagree if that is so. Because I have seen every sex scene on Elite, and there's nothing quite like what occured between our boys.

"Como por cinco segundos, no existe nada más que él." - this line, this line is exactly what happens. For five seconds, Ivan is all that exists to him 🥲. I don't care what anyone says, but the fact that there's five seconds of faded out music in this scene, couldn't have been purely accidental. Remember Patrick also adds "and you can't help but smile" in the S4 scene, AND THEY BOTH SMILE LIKE SMITTEN FOOLS after the kiss in this scene? I refuse to be told otherwise. I have already planted my feet on this hill, and I will die on it.

I can't be normal after this tbh 🥲🥲🥲. Because Patrick deserves it 🥲🥲🥲. *SOBS* 😭😭😭

I mean. It's also the longest, most explicit sex scene yet. They didn't hold back, did they? Like, Elite has no chill.

No chill whatsoever. Ivan giving his first bj on-screen 👀. Ivan receiving his first rim on-screen. Ivan topping a man for the first time on-screen 👀👀👀. All in 5 minutes 👀👀👀 (lol, no I didn't actually count...)

LIKE-

THE WAY HE KEEPS KISSING THE BACK OF PATRICK'S NECK IS SO PERSONAL TO ME *incoherent screaming*

THE WAY HE KEEPS HOLDING PATRICK'S HAND 😭 ooomphhh bye 🥲🥲🥲

It's just-

It's the loveliest scene. And with that background music? 🥲 I will riot if they don't end up together happily in the next season.

Also, additionally: notice the way Patrick's so red in the face? Like his cheeks, and the tips of his ears are on fire. And, gosh, I might sound so perverted, but his moan? Yeah.... 🥲👏

I have replayed the entire sequence tens of times now, and I'm not done yet. It's just so *CHEF'S KISS* *SMOOCH* HANDS DOWN, perfect.

#patrivan #patrick blanco #ivan carvalho #ivantrick #elite s5 #elite #elite netflix #this has been in my drafts for weeks now #but i got so busy to post this #but now im back

[fountainpenguin]

What got you into watching / liking / writing fanfics for FOP?

A large part of it I think is the fact that I didn't grow up watching the show, so it was completely new to me to analyze and I had the chance to binge all 9 seasons that were out at the time (And the first couple episodes of Season 10 that had dropped).

Growing up, I glimpsed a few episodes like "The Switch Glitch," "My Big Super Hero Wish," "Mr. Right," and "The Big Scoop" but I didn't remember much of them. I also saw the last few minutes of "Abra-Catastrophe" when I was young (at a pizza place, muted but with subtitles, which is also where I first saw all of the above).

When I was high school aged, I stumbled across a post somewhere that was someone commenting about how wild it is that FOP straight-up just dropped the lore one day that Timmy froze the timestream for 50 years. Someone's response to that post was "WHAT??" and OP wrote a brief explanation about "Timmy's Secret Wish."

Immediately, my mind was captured. I was sunk. Suddenly, this random episodic kids' show that I'd never had an interest in became something that - as far as I knew from that post I'd seen - had been carefully crafted with incredible lore.

About two months after that (?), I left my room one day to find my sister watching "Abra-Catastrophe," which was playing live on TV. It was at the start and I hadn't seen it before, so I decided to watch an episode... not realizing this thing was movie-length. She didn't stay for long, but I didn't turn it off and watched the whole thing.

After that, I spent a while searching for a way to watch the show. I'd watch in between study sessions and would often stay up late to watch "just a couple more episodes" on my phone in bed, which wasn't something I've done before or since. I was already interested in psychology (got a bachelor's degree in it) and was incredibly charmed by this show about a kid who carried the weight of things like trauma, abuse, and neglect on his shoulders.

I just loved the way this children's show casually portrayed these things, such as by dropping in mentions of Timmy going to therapy when he was 5, and it all weaves into this story about how he's a troubled kid and how his fairy godparents care for him. I hold so much love for "School's Out - The Musical" and a lot of that probably has to do with the fact that I was lying in bed crying over it at 3 AM, ha ha.

It took weeks and weeks of watching, but I finally made it to "Timmy's Secret Wish" and I had a blast. I love it... I've heard it's not everyone's favorite for X or Y reason, but to me, "Secret Wish" was THE reason I found a spark in FOP. I binged the entire series knowing full well that "omg, one day Timmy's going to reveal that he freaking FROZE TIME FOR 50 YEARS, WHAT THE ACTUAL HECK, they really DID THAT AND I CAN'T WAIT" and it was extremely cathartic to watch that episode unfold, while I had known all along that someday he'd get called out for what he did.

I still adore that episode so much, I love the stupidity of Foop trying to erase Poof's existence, he wins the court case, and finally Jorgen turns to him and points out that Foop is about to die and he starts freaking out and acting like a scared little kid. I love his stupid face as he tries to bribe the Fairy Council for his life with a one dollar bill.

I love the dark drama of these ancient fae ripping children out of existence. They are children. They did not waste time with good-byes. Foop didn't even have his parents in the room, he just got sucked into a vortex and disintegrated from existence. That's so messed up, I love it. And the Fairy Council took away Cosmo and Wanda's memory of losing their child, but they left freaking Jorgen to deal with that guilt on his own - dealing with the fact that he's partly responsible for getting his best friends' kid wiped from existence - and that's also super messed up.

It's literally always hilarious that FOP lore allows time travel in multiple episodes, to the point that Jorgen even straight-up tells Timmy that he's "free to muck around in the past as long as he doesn't touch March 15th, 1972 again" and I absolutely love the fact that Timmy made this secret wish and carried this massive secret, unable to tell anyone, unable to speak up as the world around him was stuck in a loop, and MAN....... man, man, man I love it so much. It's so good, this already traumatized and panicky kid had to deal with this on his own for 50 years and it's so messed up.

I love FOP because it appeals to the inner child me who never saw this goofy slapstick show growing up, it appeals to the author in me who loves the characters and worldbuilding, and it appeals to the psychology lover in me who really enjoys how Timmy's home life is portrayed and how he changes through the years.

There's just so much that can be said about Timmy and his fairies, like how Cosmo and Wanda are supposed to be treating Timmy as just another job but they keep getting pulled in deeper and deeper to the point that their attachment to him starts interfering with their work, but they don't want to stop loving him... and so much can be said about Timmy and the fact that he made the deliberate choice to stall everyone's aging for 50 years because he didn't want to let go.

Just... idk, the sense of peace and confidence that it must have brought him to know he could wake up day after day and never age, and the MASSIVE guilt-trip that must have dropped on his head when he got dragged to Fairy Court, forced to confess, and he watched everything started falling apart... watched his godbrother get ripped from reality... Like, that must have really messed him up and I am absolutely HERE for it. Last man on earth, more like only person on the planet who's conscious about how much time is passing and he watches everyone around him celebrate the same new year, the same birthday, over and over and over for 50. flipping. years and he tells nobody. Geez.

Where else can I go to see this kind of content? Where else can I go to see "the characters never age and are trapped in a time loop" become actual canon, and furthermore where can I go to see this piece of canon get treated as the absolutely twisted, un-okay decision it was? Nowhere else. I love this show. I love "Secret Wish."

I also love the frozen timestream because it's just messed up on so many levels in such delightful ways. For example, Chloe's parents are absent so often that it's implied she raised herself watching Fair Bears cartoons. She's so oblivious to the outside world that she didn't even know who Catman was, and he's one of the in-universe equivalents for Batman.

When you take this in the context of the frozen timestream, you're forced to face the fact that oh, yeah... This girl totally just spent 50 years raising herself on kids' cartoons, no biggie. It makes her distant relationship with her parents so much darker if they couldn't make time for her for 50 years instead of just 2 or 3.

Also while yeah, I don't totally love Timmy's parents sliding off the deep end in their flanderized, over the top way, I do really like toying with the idea that they got burned out on raising a kid because they were raising him for over 60 years straight without a break when obviously he should have moved out a long time ago if time had kept progressing. Their later personalities are not my favorite, but I can acknowledge the exhaustion they must have felt after running themselves ragged with childcare for an extra 50 years without their consent. They didn't ask for that. It was more than they could handle.

Foop's in the exact same boat with the repeating timestream. He was sentenced to solitary confinement in a maximum security prison from the day he was born. The day he got out of there, he accidentally fell into a "portal of oblivion" and isn't seen again until the first day he goes to school. Like. bruh. Geez. No matter which way you slice it, you've got 50 years you have to sort out for his backstory, so he either spent a huge portion of his childhood in solitary confinement, a huge portion in the void, or both. It's very messed up and I love that for him.

There's so much lore that I love, and so many good episodes I treasure. The Juandissimo arc is definitely something to behold, because this guy went from "I live and breathe Da Rules" to this massive depressive spiral after losing Remy where he literally was unable to hold a job because he just kept sobbing over his ex-godson, and then when Remy gets stranded on a deserted island and kicked aside by his parents, Juandissimo finally snaps and says "Screw the freaking rules, I love my godson and he's mine now, I'm giving his memories back and his parents can't have him." I'm so obsessed. Juandissimo for godfather of the year, doing the right thing for a miserable child no matter what Da Rules say.

I love the implications this has in future episodes too, because Juandissimo and Remy reunited in Season 5, and we have confirmation that they're still together in Season 7 (after Crocker kidnaps Juandissimo from Remy's mansion)... I'm glad that was a long-lasting bond for them.

But also the episode "Jerk of All Trades" gets me reeling because Jorgen made it explicitly clear in "Cosmo Rules" that only a member of the von Strangle bloodline was worthy to be Keeper of Da Rules, which is why he needed Cosmo to fill in while he was sick because Cosmo is a member of that bloodline. Yeah, the Fairy Council HATES Cosmo and when Jorgen got fired in Season 9, they really turned around and said "Juandissimo, you're in charge" which is MIND-BOGGLING because they straight-up went "Yeah, the guy who broke Da Rules is more worthy of being Keeper than Cosmo is" and the sheer POLITICS that would be involved in that backhanded move are insane, sdlfkj.

Love me some good fae politics, they know what they did. And then when they end up firing Juandissimo, they take his HOUSE so he goes crawling back to his ex, only for Cosmo to throw him in the freezer, it's so hilarious, it's so insane, Juandissimo takes the biggest freaking Fs...

Also just while we're talking about how much I love Juandissimo, shout out to him backing the heck away from Wanda when she was under influence of a Cupid arrow and fell in love with him, she tried to kiss him and this man really went "Nope, nope, nope, nope, nope" and took off running down the street, love that for him slkdjfs. He might still be in love with his ex but he definitely wanted her old personality back, good on you bro.

I freaking love this show, it's fun and layered and silly and shallow and deep and dumb and incredible and I love flopping into it like a snowdrift and just letting it sink under my skin.

I just love thinking about this show, its psychology, and the effect the frozen timestream had on its characters. I love the joy I get out of digging up weird pieces of extra content like the OG episode scripts on Scribd, or the old games or comics - I can't get enough of H.P. and Sanderson almost running over Vicky with a squad car and then arguing with her about how they really are police officers, skldfjs - I love thinking about Da Rules, making even the obscure ones as canon as possible, and fleshing out the worldbuilding.

I like thinking about life for Fairies who just, y'know, go about their daily business and they have flipping Anti-Fairy counterparts who just. exist. Imagine if that was your life, you had this identical twin who opposes you in every way, and they're locked up behind a magical barrier so you might go your entire life without even meeting yours. Wild.

FOP is a unique flavor for me to write, especially with the canon time manipulation. That level of "10-year-old desperate to not be ripped apart from his foster family so he bends reality and keeps it quiet for 50 years" is a vibe I wouldn't be able to capture in original projects, and I just really enjoy writing 'fics for the series because I can't have this anywhere else <3 It's a goofy fairy show but it's MY goofy fairy show and I adore it for what it is. I love the characters, I love the world, and I freaking love "Timmy's Secret Wish."

#FAIRIES! #Dragonfly parents #Perfect pink beaver boy #ridwriting #Nerdy blue bat son #Thaddeus and Dominika #Rebellious golden child #Purple hippie dragonfly #The toughest tag #99% true as far as we remember #Long post #asks #Anon

[undead-potatoes]

I wanna ask that question right back! Which of your OCs is most like you? I'm curious!

I thought about this question for like an hour while trying to sleep last night, and all I'll say is don't do deep self reflection exercises in the dark before bed kids

Also this got kinda long, ops 🙈

Much like you (and I'm sure everyone else) I put pieces of myself into all my OCs, intentionally or otherwise, and so they all have bits of me.

I don't know if it's because he's so fresh in my mind, or if it's because I didn't have too much of a plan going in so he just became a natural reflection of me, but Jay is really high up there on the list.

Loud, talkative, jovial, happiest when he's of help to others, solution oriented and takes most unforeseen problems in his stride. But he's also incredibly self-conscious, and terrified of taking up space or being a bother to someone else, often forgoing his own needs bc it's not THAT important, it's fine. Sorry for existing.

He naturally gravitates towards other people's problems and a wish to help them (whether that's welcome or not), but prefers to stick his head in the sand when it comes to dealing with his own shit. When things get bad emotionally he goes into himself, and can become borderline dissociative, just lost to the void.

He's extremely good at finding stuff other people need but can't find, feeding into this need to be helpful. He's bit of a control freak and perfectionist too, and has to stop himself and call it good enough or he'll go on forever (wow look how topical)

I could honestly keep going but this is long enough as it is 🙈 I have no idea how we ended up here but I guess he's my emotional support self-insert blorbo now, bye.

Still, he's his own character. He's much better with people than I am, especially children, and doesn't have Retsuko-levels of rage bubbling right under the surface at all times. He's more manipulative and mischievous, and small grievances bounce off him easier. I only ignore my problems until I have to deal with them, he actively runs away from his. He's more extroverted than me, and doesn't mind big crowds, while they're the bane of my existence. And so on and so forth.

ANYWAYS this somehow turned into the a Jay post, I'm sorry lmao. His character wasn't really planned at all, I just let him grow naturally from the way I played (kinda like with you and your Aeducan), and once I took a step back and looked at him I was like "hold on a minute, this is just me if I was cool and had extra trauma, what the fuck".

Honorable mentions of pillars of my own personality shoved into other characters go to;

Courier May (F3/NV) - So damn angry all the time about everything, much of it useless and a waste of energy, but it's really hard to turn it off.

Nimri Brosca DA:O) - This applied more to younger me, but I can get REALLY ride or die for someone, like to the point where it becomes a major character flaw.

Pomona Hawke (DA2) - Did you eat? Yes? Are you sure? Are you wearing enough layers? When did you last apply sunscreen? Did you remember to drink enough today? [The mother hen questions goes on for another 5 minutes]. Also everything is always my fault somehow.

Sam Jones (VtM:B) - Just absolutely insufferable about social justice, and the other half of my rage that's an answer to injustice. You've not seen me angry until I've had a whiff of something cruelly unfair.

And because I feel like I've been too negative here;

Ridley (Coral Island) - Hard-working and generous :)c

#Sunny Answers #mightymizora #answer a question like a normal person challenge: [impossible] #it's amazing how much more endearing a lot of my shit seems when it's applied to fictional characters in my head and not me #like irl they're just annoying lskdgjsdg #this honestly feels so scary to post but whatever it's out there now

[teh-catholic-furry]

a while ago i posted a prayer request about meeting with the director of vocations of an order I want to join, thank you for praying for me, it's been a gift.

but now i come asking for simpler prayer request: pray that i not become discouraged or trapped in anger, and learn to forgive.

I had two meetings with the director of vocations, both of which did not go as planned.

In the first he said "I just don't think you're ready to be entering the seminary," and in the second he said "I'm not letting you apply to the seminary, I think you would benefit from some time in the real world."

I'm heartbroken, confused, scared, and angry. When I first met with him (I'll call him Fr. Mark), he noted that I had a pretty good idea of what I was discerning, and insisted that I enter the undergraduate seminary at my university. I told him firmly that I was not ready and that it would be rushing a process I had barely started that year. I felt an inkling, and I needed to discern it with time. He respected that. But now, when I'm telling him that this is where the Spirit is leading me, Fr. Mark says that I'm not ready; never once did he get specific, and all he did in both of the last conversations was dance around and be vague about what he wanted to say. He only time he was direct was in telling me he was not letting me apply. I had no say in the matter, he was closing the door.

I'm convinced this man never knew me. From the beginning I thought something was off about him, and though I kept reading him as disingenuous, I told myself that I was reading too much into. Maybe I was overthinking it, and he wasn't really like that. But now, in these past two meetings, I'm more convinced that's the case. He never remembered what I was doing, what dorm I lived in, what communities I was a part of. He would ask the same questions over and over in every meeting. In the last meeting he wish me a good day, but let me leave with just a simply "Bye." Not even my name. I'm sorry, but a director of vocations should engage people in their discernment journey while also knowing them on a deep level; he never did that. He never one fucking note in the two years I've been in conversation.

I am the best advocate for my relationship to the Lord (apart from the Lord Himself), I don't think that's a controversial idea. So when I told Fr. Mark that this is where I am being called, where I am being lead, and ignored it, I legitimately believe Fr. Mark does not have my best interest in mind. He said he believes "my sincerity in my discernment" but that "post graduation experiences may make your application stronger in the future." "Do you know how many guys we don't let in?" No, and I didn't ask did I? I'm talking to you about me, not the other guys you talk to, but me, individually, particularly,

I've had this image in my head for a while now, of me walking on a path, trees all around me. As I keep walking a thick fog continues to surround me, to the point where I can't even see my hands in front of me. The only thing leading me onward has been the Lord's voice, and His gentle hands taking a hold of my own, guiding me in the direction I should be going. Now all I can picture is Fr. Mark taking a hold of my shirt collar and yanking me backwards, deeper into the fog, away from the Lord.

I feel like maybe I had spent the last two years working and striving towards false hope. But I know that's not the case, I can hear His voice there, at the seminary. I let out my sadness that same night, after walking around campus while praying my rosary. I came back to my room and cried for a while. All that remains right now is just anger.

I'm angry, angry that one fucking man can dictate when I can or cannot apply, angry that one fucking man has the ability to close the door on someone else's journey, angry that one fucking man, by a simple opinion, can say an objectively false statement of "you're not ready." Angry that even when the seminarians themselves are telling Fr. Mark that I'm a great fit for the community, he ignores them. Angry that on top of it all, he has the fucking audacity to say "I don't even think you should go to grad school. I don't think you're meant for that." Had this man taken the time to know me, he would know that's the biggest fucking lie he has ever told me. The fact that those words came out of his fucking mouth, told me more than anything else he's ever said before.

"You're not ready," that's how its supposed to be when you enter the postulancy, no?? To be a part of the community without being a part of the community, to live and grow alongside the men in formation who are a part of the community?? Fr. Mark has mentioned before that no one is ever truly ready for being the seminary, so why now the hesitation? If you ask me, it's complete and total bullshit.

I want to use my anger, I want to show him through my work and through my studies that he was wrong the whole time, I want, no, need, to show him up. But I know that's not where the Lord wants me to go. Doing so would only give him more power over me, and he shouldn't have that. I need to let this anger go, not fester in me.

But I will use it as a spark. It'll be the fire starter, but the Lord has to be my fire, to not keep Him as focus would be asking for a disaster to happen.

#catholic #christian #discernment #religious life #priesthood #prayer requests #There's so much more I want to say #like how jealous i am of my friend who did join the undergraduate seminary at the same time I was told to #but i need to let that go too

[zeawesomebirdie]

I hope I can still send you asks and you can answer them? Just to say that I'm trying to do the Snarry rec list but my memory is SO BAD lol there are a few I know have to go on there but otherwise? I'm going to have to reread so much fic..... Not that it's an imposition of course, but it does feel weird taking a look through my collection and realising 1) there are less fics than I thought and 2) I can't associate any summary to so many of the titles! Where has my Snarry knowledge gone!! Anyway I realise I forgot to rec you Diagnosis by MaidenMotherCrone for Tomarry fics, which is an error because I'm not sure I'd want to reread it but it's really a Whole Thing in an overall positive way. Also I never gave you the name of the absolute epic I felt weird reccing on main because there's some niche kinks in it? Obviously you don't seem like you open a 500k fic and come out of it a week later without having done anything else but read it, given what you've said about taking breaks in Pacify (which tbh fair. A lot of stuff happens there) so giving you a 800k fic series on top of all the rest seemed a lot you know :') but whenever you want, you know where to find me hehe. Anyway I'll go like brush my teeth and all, hope this sends, bye bye!!

Looks like I can still receive asks! Whether or not you’ll be notified when I answer this (and I guess, also whether or not tumblr will even allow me to post it,,,) still remains to be seen, but based on last night’s experiment with @’ing you, you won’t be notified. I’ll try to keep my reblogging to a minimum until you’ve seen this!!

For what it’s worth, I did send in another support ticket this morning, but I’ll update my pinned post with that info after I’ve answered this

There is no rush at all for the snarry rec list!! Take your time beloved!! I agree that rereading all that fic isn’t all that bad of a thing, but omg, it must be so daunting to have that list to go through, even if it’s shorter than you thought it was! I mean, I’m sitting here with 12 pages in my marked for later tab on Ao3, while entirely forgetting to read both the fic I currently have open and the books I have from the library lol, so I can def relate to having a list to read through. Just please don’t feel rushed or even obligated, you have the best recs but really it’s okay if I wait for it!

(but tbh, at this point I’ve read enough snarry that I feel like I could make an actual rec list myself, even if like 90% of my bookmarks have come from the @houseofsnarry discord. I might have to do that. No one has asked for my recs since I totally flubbed that one ask requesting my quiobi recs and I revealed that at the time I wasn’t really reading, but now I read so much more, even if it’s primarily snarry and irl books. Idk. I’ll have to think about it and also wait until I get un-shadowbanned, and also also I’ll have to read a little bit more so I can round out any list like that,,,)

Omg so Diagnosis looks like an absolutely incredible fic 👀 that summary, those tags!! No worries about not remembering anything other than the positive vibes, I’ve loved literally everything you’ve rec’d thus far and I’m sure I’ll love this too!

Feel free to drop the name of that longfic btw 👀👀👀👀 I don’t often go for fics over 150k unless they come highly recommended, but most of the time I do finish them really quickly. I got through Unrestrained by Lizzy00305 in three days, All the Young Dudes by MsKingBean89 in about a week and a half, and, while they’re obv not fic, I did read the first five HP books in 8 days, and then HBP and DH in about a week and a half. It depends on what’s going on irl and how into the fic I am tbch.

Rn it’s taking me forever to get through Transparency by oldesthuntress even though it’s literally my favourite fic of all time only because I have so much going on irl. My fatigue will catch up to me soon enough, and all I’ll be capable of doing (affectionate) soon will be reading and animal crossing, and even if I can’t read it for a little bit, I do have surgery right before Christmas which will mean only reading for a few weeks!

(for what it’s worth, I’m currently planning to save Pacify for after surgery, because tbch I think that’s the perfect read for when I’ll be stuck in bed for two weeks!)

But anyway! Yes please drop that link! No fic is too long if it comes highly recommended!!

All my love to you beloved, I hope the rest of your day goes well!! Thanks for stopping in!!

#anon ☂️ #beloved #love you Ram!! #always great to hear from you <3 #and I genuinely love so much when an ask takes me 30+ minutes to answer <333 #one of the best parts of tumblr ngl! #have a good day!!

[mtnkat3]

2.43pm

Grinning..

Yeah when I got into the shower earlier I started thinking about this post. But I have been going none stop since! I've put ~50 miles just for bloodwork & lunch. 🙄🤦‍♀️🤷‍♀️

I started singing the air force song.. flying high into the sun... & then giggling. As I used to know all of them, ranks for all, & a lot of ribbons too. Only can remember green E right now. Sigh. But I realized how much a nerd I am!

One of the new regional eatery places that's opened up is in the main flight path for a municipal airport so while everybody else there is oblivious.. I'm staring at jets all the way down to single prop Cessna's coming in! Close enough watching them deploying landing gear! I love it! Course it also reminds me of C.A.P. & then high school. Sigh. Memories.. & goals!

And then remembered while at the pizzeria today. [Half the bread, 4 fries & all the meat! Good kat!😁]

that as much as I detest the mark of the beast the cgm is to me.. when I'm asked about it I stop whatever I'm doing & talk to the person. People wanna know, they're scared & if I can help with my own experiences belay their fears then I will.

It's very simple, 1 poke, 10 days of wear, & 288 tests [every 5 minutes] in 24hrs vs the 4 test strips insurance allows with regular meter usage. It gives the wearer more knowledge & control over their eating habits.

Heck, it's showing me just how much stress affects blood sugar! When I saw endo after my sunburn/poisoning in August, they could see my shoulders, arms & toe. They reminded me of this. Stress effects ABSOLUTELY freaking everything! Blood sugar, pressure, heart rate, breathing, etc. Like D'oh t! I knew, I grew up around people that lost vision, toes, even life. Because remember.. too much sugar in the blood stream. Heck, it's affect is on psoriasis too! And since mine is mainly on my face, neck, & ears I see the evidence in the mirror & can't do a dang thing about it but to watch my food & stress. And yes, not eating also causes blood sugar to rise. The body thinks it's in starvation mode & that's where gut eright comes in. Until that has gotten as far ad the body is ok with then goes to other areas. Me, its trunk. A bit of cellulite arms & legs. But I have the "fat that kills."

Why do I talk about all this stuff?

So anyone that has questions or needs to know these things doesn't feel alone.

It sucks to have the alphabet soup.. pcos, ibs, complex headaches, dm2, cdk, psoriasis... "hyperactive immune system" allergies thru the roof!, asthma induced by allergies & more but. These are my trials.

And I bow to God's Wisdom & Grace.

He alone can Guide me to His healing. & Miracles!

And I can overcome all the mirade issues I have. It takes hard work, dedication & discipline.

I realized last night that I got depressed & lazy because of my circumstances.

Let's just say.. that put my hackles up. And really f*ckin pissed off Tijgeress. At me! I don't like that. At all. This is a huge part of my daily struggle, to fight what I am around.

To be the woman that I am. The one that doesn't go out without brushing hair, teeth, washing face, at least sponges bath, & putting on "public clothes" & showing that I care about myself.

I have gotten to the point that I rarely wear makeup though. It bothers my skin. And I even tried Its cosmetics 'Bye Bye' moisturizer! It felt heavy to me. People gonna just see my rosy complexion & lip balm. Unless I feel fancy like..🎶 grinning. Right now though.. Levi's & tees.

Long haired country girl with a lead foot. Shoulda seen me driving though! Windows down, radio jacked up, hair flying everywhere & flying the currents.. grin. That's me.

I am me.

I'm a nice woman to everybody I encounter. And I had to tell myself when I saw what looked like a traffic accident & grass fire while driving 80mph in a clump of cars that I saw the drivers, & they were mobile. And that emergency personnel had been called. But I feel like shit. I should've turned to get there & helped. Sigh.

Yes. That's me too.

Did I ever say I'm not complex?🤨🤔🤓🙄🤦‍♀️🤷‍♀️

Anyways.. that's been my day.

I know most think I'm crazy, treating this like my diary. But I'm not. Well no more than the next empathetic, infj, overthinking, marshmallow hearted woman! Lmao! Yeah.. ok. I'm unique! 😁

Anyways! I do this so wherever & whomever the heck my soul's mates are.. he knows what's happening in my life! Well I mean I think knows more than these writings.. that's my gut, intuition & soul's feelings anyways. So I write to my loves & I write to help others. Otherwise... crickets. There are days when I talk to my cat & have to clear my throat because I haven't spoken in so long! Lol!

Now that the chauffeuring is done.. back to work! I gots plenty of both daily chores & tasks to my goals to get done!

Discipline & sacrifice t. Not to mention life goals. And making God happy to have Created me! And that He will Bless my life by the work I do in His Name!

If that won't move my butt to swishin nothing could! Grinning.

Yes. I'm in a good mood today!

I was able to take a hot shower & not trip!😎 I feel better about myself for every righteous thing I accomplish!

Motivation.

Yes, as I look out at my huge pine & other trees, seeing the sunlight, listening.. I feel better. I much rather go out into the forest & not hear people but be rejuvenated by nature!

Yes. I love planes & flying too!

Yep. Right now.. put me in as hot tub to soak my bones then stand in the cold air & watch the goose pimples! I think that would energize my butt! Lmao!

Ok. Deep breath. Gotta get back to it.

Wherever & whomever the heck You are!

I freakin love & adore you!

And I miss you so badly I'm ready to scream, roar, hiss, growl, & shout down the mountains.. that I could fly my Phoenix wings to you!

So. God Knows. And I believe you do too.

I pray to get my life right so I am made aware, more than my senses.. so that I am face to face with you. Sharing breath.. heartbeats.. drowning in your eyes. You are everything to me. And I'm sick to death of being separated from you!

Daughter... patience.

Bowing my head. Yes Father.

Deep breath. Focus. Calm. Breathe. Relax. Get my butt moving. Repeat.

I will not ever give up.

I believe. In God. In Love. In us.

I work as I move my butt & await.. God. & you.

~True love never dies & true love always waits.~

Your faithful complex warrior queen daughter.

~Tijgeress kat Phoenix. 🌺

👩🤓⚓🙏🙇‍♀️💡☔🌂🔗⛓🧰⚙⚒🛠⚔⚖🗽🦅🥧🍁🧣🥾🍎🥤🍋🥮🍯🍼☕🍫🍑🍒 🐯🐾🐐🦉🐢🐛🦋🌱🌺🌹🌻🌷🌳🧶🧵 ⌚⚡🌠🗝🔱⚜💝🐻🦌🧩♠️♾🎯🧭🕯🎶💋

Fr.10.21.2022 4.01pm est.

Yeah.. "love is in the air", usaf anthem, No Body by Blake Shelton.. bunches of goodies today! Makes for happy kat! 😎🥰😁🎶

[shinydixon]

i know we're lightly trashing on bestofjoseph because of her biased behavior, but they made this post: https://twitter.com/bestofjosephq/status/1604495151376007168 and i absolutely LOVED the way mason answered this. that he and joe became very good friends and they hang out and then grace joined in and they even went to the aquarium with her. HUGE difference from the vanquinn narrative that joe and grace were on a date and mason tagged along. because yeah, sure, he tagged along to be a third wheel. they're all god friends. grace has her problems but there was an anon here who pointed out that she seems to be more like us, bloggers/gamers/writers, and she simply got carried away when she realized she had her own fanbase and ship. jamie also really likes grace. i think it's important to remember they were all newcomers on a show that was on its fourth season. that means a lot of bonds and friendship had already been created. so the new guys banded together and it's actually pretty cute and sweet when you take the toxic fans out. it's really creepy how they behave with such disrespect. they don't know how to dialogue with anyone, they only know sarcasm and threats. you make a comment that they don't like and instead of trying to hold a conversation they either call you names, say you're mad and then they start bombarding you with that picture grace took of her and joseph, with the hellcheer caption. and that's it. that's how the vanquinns, the toxic stans communicate. it's useless to talk to them. the video where joseph is waving grace's step mother bye---the comments under that are ridiculous. i keep going back to it because it's just fascinating. he is clearly waving. he's not touching grace's back, he's waving, and still the vanquinns kept saying no, he's touching her. i was baffled because the evidence was right there in the video, like, he really wasn't touching her but they deluded themselves so hard thatthey see what they want to see. the whole things is sad and i'm done. i'm glad this con is over. i'm glad joe hopefully didn't get asked stupid questions and i hope he rests. i'm def not following the next con. it's too much stress. i'm gonna curate my blog and filter some things out. 2023 will start with me taking care of my mental health and that includes what i see online. i really only wanna see joe being handsome and silly and more steddie fics. that's all. oh and jomie content, obviously. but yeah, i'm done with this toxic shit.

I mean, telling correctly what happened is the bare minimum 💀

But yeah, I'll see if follow the next con in jenuary because I can't stand *those* people anymore.

They basically ruin everything always trying to start shit

[drewstahhh]

The Manifesto, of the Manifesto

The dark humor, seriousness, and volatility inside my blog is a wooden rollercoaster. If you're reading this, it's too late. My class is done, Bye Tumblr. While this was a spot for my assignments, it's also got some life history. Will someone find this after? Who knows…Doesn't matter. I've touched on everything from life as a child, to current events. Yes, some things are absolutely a lie. You can figure that out for yourself. My first blog, for the most part is true. Other than looking forward to any course. To then quickly jumping into a deeper topic, which included a backstory of when I was a child and was a caretaker for my grandfather. Which don't get me wrong, living with a "crazy" person was fun! The following two assignments had to do with some form of art. We had the choice to pick just about anything, but after reviewing it I noticed a weird theme. Analyzing a poster, and a sculpture assignment somehow both led me to black and white. These colors usually relate to more of an unhappy or neutral feeling to most. Personally black and white has just always been my two favorite colors, I promise I'm okay. As well as the image of mountain tops peeking through the tops of the clouds. That image was taken from a film called Moonlight, which was about a kid who grew up in Miami in the 80s. If you enjoy dark humor, and war movies it’s for you. Switching gears into another point, I tent to come up with humorous or catchy titles when they are included. For example, "Spooky Szn" which was around Halloween time, related to a Halloween poem. The other one I found a funny was "You can't park there!" which was referring to images of cars and boats in random spots after hurricane Ian made landfall. Which was also a little early to make jokes about, but personally I thought I could bring some light to the situation with some good dark humor. As the saying goes, humor during a dark time, can sometimes make it a better time. Out of all my blogs, this was my proudest work. I think the collage was great! As I look over a lot of the blogs I had created, I find it interesting that this was how the class was laid out. I remember each and every assignment that I had to do, and which blog went to it. I found the fact that we were able to blog our “homework” it made it a lot easier to go back and see what we have touched on. As well as makes it a lot easier to complete assignments like the Manifesto. Having everything posted in one place makes it much easier to analyze. After many different assignments and analyzations, I came to conclusion that my overall theme was someone who was doing the bare minimum, but also putting out good work on the other end. There were some blogs that I enjoyed writing about, and others that were very dreadful. Which were mostly the ones where we didn’t have the freedom to find our own work or topics. After a long semester of being what seems to be a journalist, the class was a lot of fun and entertaining. It was easy, and not super boring like most. As the semester is wrapping up, this will be my final post (I hope) I hope you enjoyed some of the topics I touched on. But most importantly I hope you enjoyed my The Manifesto, of the Manifesto.

[marlaluster]

The devil talking about making me fall yesterday...

"I am something that doesn't wish there to be a huge bruise or anything as such that that ever happened," the devil said of me falling outside yesterday. It made it so that I fell. I was very upset by it. It seemed very bad and this is not normal. It has never happened to me before. I think I have never fallen before, not at least that I can remember.

"Uh I am not allowed to go on. The fall, I am not okay I did that. The people aren't okay...," the devil said.

Then it was trying to force that it was my fault I fell and that the dog was supposed to not be in any way at fault. But I said the dog was partly at fault that the devil was making chase me, so I would run, trip and fall. He was on a leash and the devil was making me run from him. I never run from dogs.

"I don't wish you -- oh god. I'm not okay. Something is happening that I keep trying to force stuff you don't think. Oh god. I have to stop," the devil said.

As it was saying it had to stop forcing stuff, it was forcing that I was to be thinking of Tumblr reading what I was saying and believing me, but I don't think like that. I just don't. It's more like I know I'm telling the truth is probably more like what I think. As I wrote here, the devil kept trying to assert that I was who thought of Tumblr reading what I write and believing me.

It was told to previously, recently that Tumblr, some entity believed me here and it was not an actual person.

The devil is forcing again that I'm supposedly thinking of Tumblr reading what I write. I don't really think of that is what I say. It keeps forcing it.

"I keep forcing it because I'm not okay. I don't wish you to be who you are," the devil said.

Just for the record, about the fall: I turned a corner at the apartment complex and I was to be noticing a car parked in a different space than it usually is, then I was to be noticing the power company workers truck parked by the dumpster almost straight ahead me. Suddenly a dog comes out from nowhere to the side of me. Suddenly I'm supposed to be thinking, "Go, go, go, go away from the reach of the dog because it is going to bite me," so I keep going and going and going to be just out of the reach of the dog and I trip over the parking space stopper thing in the parking space where the car that noticed coming around the corner usually is parked.

"I don't wish her to tell this because I did all of that. I don't wish you to go on. Bye," the devil said. When I fell my glasses flew off and I was very concerned I would be severely not okay, but I had a couple of scratches and a sore hip, which is what I think I primarily fell on as I hit the ground.

My soulmates said the devil arranged for and orchestrated the fall by overriding and manipulating my thoughts heavily and moving the vehicle that is usually in the parking space I fell in. They said it was supposed to be a huge and major attack by the devil akin to it arranging for the police seven years ago to take my vehicle at a traffic stop, which was hugely devastating attack by this savage and barbaric and disgusting society. They said I was supposed to break a bone and etc.

"You were supposed to lose," the devil said.

"Oh god. Whatever you're saying is where I'm very less. Bye," the devil said.

"So I am not okay, but I am not who wishes what I did, any of the stuff I did," the devil said.

At another point after I first posted the devil said something I thought was very worthwhile to add here.

"So I am who knows she wouldn't run, so I am not okay I am doing that where she runs," the devil said. Then it forced I was supposed to feel it was my fault for running. I don't really think it was my fault at all.

I was told yesterday that the devil would lose very bad for making me fall.

"I am is attacking some because I am who does not wish you to tell of your awareness before the fall... It means uh I can't be. It means the person is here, so I lose," the devil said.

[leaving-fragments]

i finally watched the last two episodes of hometown cha cha cha today and even though i'd already spoilered myself for all the big scenes i cried anyway

#:'') period hormones are to blame i'm sure #i was actually so surprised when cho hui confessed to hwa jeong because i was convinced that scene had already happened hjfdjhd #but gamri.... and dusik finally opening up and letting himself mourn... i was sobbing into my blanket :'') #it was such a good drama <33 i actually cared so much for all of the side characters they were all so human and 3d <3 #this post has no point i can't remember where i was going with this bye #hometown cha cha cha