#this post is a joke by the way

[genderqueeradrien]

Writing fanfiction about the dsmp characters is problematic because the characters aren’t real and can’t state their boundaries when it comes to fiction about them. This is why you should stick to writing RPF

#text #THIS POST IS A JOKE BY THE WAY

[phoenixwrites]

Me towards my VQ followers: It's important not to put emotional investment in celebrity ships. They're fun to speculate and talk about, but at the end of the day, we don't know these people and only get a bare glimpse of their relationships.

Also me: *is like, really sad about Taylor Swift and Joe Alwyn's breakup*

#this post is a JOKE BY THE WAY #although it does not escape my notice I get a ton of hate whenever I talk about VQ but there've been crickets when I mention Taylor #and HER London boy #or ex London boy now I guess #look Sweet Nothing is like the most romantic song and now it's just over?! #I wrote a poem on the drive home you say what a mind this happens all the time #that lyric KILLED ME

[spiribia]

once you hit adulthood a day will come when you’re suddenly like VEGETABLES 🔥 🔥 🔥 🔥 🔥 and it never goes away

#talks #its not about previously disliking vegetables. #I specified adult just because of the way my body started decomposing and rotting once i went meals without. #also i was just making a joke abt myself getting randomly more into vegetables one day. its really not the kind of one sentence post #that should justify weirdly accusatory assumptions

[inkskinned]

probably time for this story i guess but when i was a kid there was a summer that my brother was really into making smoothies and milkshakes. part of this was that we didn't have AC and couldn't afford to run fans all day so it was kind of important to get good at making Cool Down Concoctions.

we also had a patch of mint, and he had two impressionable little sisters who had the attitude of "fuck it, might as well."

at one point, for fun, this 16 year old boy with a dream in his eye and scientific fervor in heart just wanted to see how far one could push the idea of "vanilla mint smoothie". how much vanilla extract and how much mint can go into a blender before it truly is inedible.

the answer is 3 cups of vanilla extract, 1/2 cup milk alternative, and about 50 sprigs (not leaves, whole spring) of mint. add ice and the courage of a child. idk, it was summer and we were bored.

the word i would use to describe the feeling of drinking it would maybe be "violent" or perhaps, like. "triangular." my nose felt pristine. inhaling following the first sip was like trying to sculpt a new face. i was ensconced in a mesh of horror. it was something beyond taste. for years after, i assumed those commercials that said "this is how it feels to chew five gum" were referencing the exact experience of this singular viscous smoothie.

what's worse is that we knew our mother would hate that we wasted so much vanilla extract. so we had to make it worth it. we had to actually finish the drink. it wasn't "wasting" it if we actually drank it, right? we huddled around outside in the blistering sun, gagging and passing around a single green potion, shivering with disgust. each sip was transcendent, but in a sort of non-euclidean way. i think this is where i lost my binary gender. it eroded certain parts of me in an acidic gut ecology collapse.

here's the thing about love and trust: the next day my brother made a different shake, and i drank it without complaint. it's been like 15 years. he's now a genuinely skilled cook. sometimes one of the three of us will fuck up in the kitchen or find something horrible or make a terrible smoothie mistake and then we pass it to each other, single potion bottle, and we say try it it's delicious. it always smells disgusting. and then, cerimonious, we drink it together. because that's what family does.

#this is true #writeblr #warm up #relatedly for some reason one of our Favorite Jokes #amongst the Siblings #is like - ''this is so good u will love it'' #while we are reacting to something we OBVIOUSLY find viscerally disgusting #like we will be actively retching and be like ''nooooo it's so good'' #to the point that i sometimes get nervous if someone outside my family is like oh u should try it its good #(obvi we never force each other to eat anything. we are all just curious birds and #like. we're GONNA try the new thing.) #edit to answer why we had so much vanilla: #my mom is a very good cook and we LOVE to bake. so she just had a lot of staples in the house. #it's one of those things that's like. have u ever continuously thought ''ah i should get butter im probably out'' #even tho u are not out of butter. so u end up with like 5 years of butter. #my mom would do that in a costco but like with vanilla extract #to be fair we WERE always using WAY TOO MUCH bc we were kids #so like she was right to stock up #ps. yes we were VERY sick after this lol i just didn't want to include it in the post in case ppl had an ick about that #u can tell it's real bc we knew "oh no we fucked up that's too much vanilla to waste'' but our reaction was to just. keep drinking it #> sibling understanding that vanilla extract isn't free > knowledge mother doesnt mind if we use it for milkshakes #> sibling choice to maybe get in a loophole of ''not wasting it'' if we drink it bc that's the same as using it (not throwing it out) #listen bud i was like 13 and my sister was like 9 #when my mom discovered this we. got in. A LOT. of trouble. a lot of it. a LOT of it. #3rd edit bc i guess it isn't clear - i am 1 of my brother's 2 little sisters #i am the middle child #out of all the ways i have had to explain a post before being like ''did u forget a middle child can happen'' is my favorite

[ink-the-artist]

Rabbits

Some bonus art, I initially started making this in a totally different art style but changed my mind about halfway through lmao, here are the parts I finished

#edit: terfs fuck off #this is literally about people like you #flashing #pulsing light #eye strain #(only under the read more cut) #art #comic #colored pencil #Illustration #I realized like halfway through making this that this is just the leopards eating peoples faces party joke lmao #im glad i abandoned that original art style bc the way it gets compressed when converted to a gif is so bad 😩 #actual reason i abandoned the original style was it was taking super long #especially if i wanted it to actually look good #but i still liked how it came out so i wanted to post it anyway lol

[plaguedoctormemes]

So-called “free thinkers” when they see vanilla extract as an option in a poll

#The doctor is in #Not plague #By the way this is a joke some people think i dislike the vanilla extract meme for some reason #Did people really copy this post?? Lmao #1k #5k #10k #15k

[messrsbyler]

you. yes you, person with rejection sensitive dysphoria. this message is for you. your friends DON'T hate you. they aren't mad at you. they aren't talking behind your back or wished to cut their friendship with you. they love you and treasure you and they are good people who wouldn't hurt you like that! ok, that's all. have a nice day.

#this is for everyone with RSD... except for me #my friends do hate me and do think i'm a burden in their lives and they do wish they had a way to let me know they don't wanna be friends #anymore but they feel pity so they never do #... this is a joke that turned too real and too dark too soon #it'll get better #anyhow this message will self destruct in- #i'm all over the place my brain is being mean to me i'll go to bed ugh #nic posts #and drowns in self pity for NO REASON #i'm going to kick my brain's butt #ok ok bye #rejection sensitive dysphoria #rsd is a bitch #rsd things

[comradekatara]

> be zuko

> try desperately to ingratiate yourself within the avatar’s friend group (to no avail, of course, because you have terrible social skills, and previously tried to kill them, also)

> try to fight off the human wmd you previously hired to blow them all up

> fail miserably, because he is indestructible

> watch as sokka effortlessly kills him with a very precise boomerang throw to the brain

> suddenly recall every single time you got hit in the head by his boomerang

> feel immense gratitude for what you had previously dismissed as uncle’s obnoxiously stringent and paranoid over-emphasis on the importance of helmet safety

#zuko #sokka #combustion man #iroh #sokka could’ve taken down all of unanimity with his boomerang #he and yangchen would’ve been the fucking dream team fr #altho i guess jujinta also has rly precise aim so he basically fulfills that role #but like. sokka has precise aim AND everything else kavik has (except for waterbending but like. he doesn’t even need it) #anyway. these tags are not relevant to the post at all #also i think zuko would like the helmet bc a) they’re regulation so he feels more militaristic in them and b) they cover his scar #but for the purposes of this joke of he hates the way they compress on his skull and he also whines before iroh makes him put it on #honestly both are equally plausible to me #so let’s just say it’s a combination thereof

[loriache]

"I've been waiting for ages for somebody to unmask them."

This moment tends to elicit negative reactions in a first read through, and I've got some opinions about why where Kabru is coming from here actually makes a lot of logical sense. So I thought I'd elaborate on that.

I think people hear this and go, "He thinks they must be hiding something because they gave money to someone? What a cynic." Or "he dislikes them because they did charity?? What's wrong with this guy!". And obviously, a lot, a lot is wrong with him. But I think this makes more sense than it seems at first glance! What people evaluating this judgement miss is why Kabru is paying attention to Laios and co to begin with.

Kabru knows of the Touden siblings because (he's a little bit of a stalker-) he is keeping an eye on all the relevant parties in events developing on the island, in order to be able to guide them to his preferred outcome. This includes adventurers because they are the ones actually exploring the dungeon! He's well aware that something as minor as internal tensions between party members could be key to the historical events that are developing. (He would love the assassination of Archduke Franz Ferdinand.)

His desired outcome is that whatever the rewards are of breaking the dungeon's curse, whether that's kingship or the ancient elven secrets of dungeons, are claimed by:

A) a short lived person

B) Someone who will be a good, effective leader and/or use those secrets and the power they carry wisely, with foresight, and to establish a political bloc for short lived people.

The person he can best trust to do this is, of course, himself. But due to his PTSD regarding dungeons and monsters, he's not able to develop the necessary skills to conquer the dungeon. Once he realises this, he starts looking for someone else who he can support to that end.

But most of the adventurers don't have any intentions of conquering the dungeon, don't have the skills, or are unsuitable in other ways. In fact, it seems like some potentially suitable people are the Toudens. There are a lot of good rumours about them going around - they actually seem to have a very positive reputation! That's what Kabru means when he says "unmask".

So when Kabru is observing something like them giving money to an old comrade from their gold-peeling days, he doesn't consider it a problem because "they're giving money to this person who doesn't actually need it" or because they must have some dark secret if they act superficially nice. I think he actually understands this situation and what it implies about Laios (in particular) perfectly well.

Laios and Falin gave money to an old comrade who got injured and couldn't work. That person then healed up but kept taking their money. Then he used the money to start smuggling illicit goods to the island.

The key is that for Kabru, the problem here is the same as with the corpse retrievers - people using the dungeon's resources to fuel dangerous, selfish, or violent pursuits cause problems for the island, attract more criminals and people with motives other than breaking the curse, and increase the chances of the whole situation ending in tragedy.

Kabru is willing to work with the Shadow Lord of the island if it gets him to his goal - he isn't scrupulous - but the criminal element of the island increasing is something he sees as a major issue.

Also, when you're evaluating someone as a candidate for power, riches, secrets, potentially kingship - then being curious about how the money you give to people is going to be used is kind of a relevant trait!

Interpersonally, Kabru's actually very easygoing - I mean, Mickbell isn't exactly an upstanding guy, is he! But Kabru likes him and they get along well. These traits wouldn't be a problem at all in a friend, or a comrade, or someone Kabru was confident he could use. But he can't get a handle on Laios, and Laios is someone who has the potential to be a major player!

On Laios' end, this is the same as with the marriage seeker who joined their party. She kept asking for things and he gave them to her, because he tries to be nice to others. He even gives her money! It's the exact same thing.

That's fine, but it became a problem because he basically wasn't interested in her motives, didn't notice she was trying to manipulate him, and it also didn't occur to him that the other party members would notice or be affected. We can assume the situation with the gold peeler is the same. When Kabru says that "It's not that they're bad people, they just aren't interested in humans," he isn't wrong.

The extent to which this is true of Laios is linked to his autism imo, (because it isn't just disinterest - he genuinely isn't able to notice nonverbal cues that people are lying to him or have ulterior motives) but to a greater or lesser extent I think it's a very common trait. Most people aren't actually that interested in other people who aren't close to them. Kabru is the weird one here. It isn't an issue except as a leader - which is why we see an immediate comparison to the Island's Lord, because that's how Kabru is evaluating them.

And disinterest in/lack of ability with people to the extent Laios exhibits it, it does, actually, make him a worse leader... it's just that as we see in the story, people can help him out. The rest of the party tell him the marriage seeker is taking advantage of him so he tells her he can't give her special treatment anymore. They're pissed and it's a crisis point - he couldn't have recovered their trust without Marcille and Falin - but that's exactly the point. With Marcille and Falin, he was able to recover their trust.

And he has other good traits that make up for it, such as his intelligence, strategic knowledge, open-mindedness and sense of fairplay.

Kabru doesn't disqualify Laios as a candidate based on what he sees about him from afar, though - he still tries very hard to get close to him, obviously hoping that if he manages he can steer Laios to defeat the dungeon and make up for his lack of people-skills in the aftermath. (Which... he does eventually achieve that goal!) He completely fails until the events of the story, so... definitely I think "They just aren't interested in humans" could also partially be a stung reaction to Laios' complete disinterest in him.

Anyway, that's my read on what exactly Kabru's "issue" with Laios is. Obviously, once he does find out what Laios' true nature is like - about his love for monsters - he develops an entirely new set of fears about Laios' priorities. But since Laios kept that a secret until the start of the story, he has no idea of that yet.

Given all that, I think it's interesting that he says that he doesn't think that the Toudens are suitable to defeat the dungeon, and that he's hoping they'll turn out to be the thieves. As some of his few potential candidates, people who he thinks may play a big role in the island's future, you'd think he'd hope they would be good people!

I suppose it's better, in his eyes, because it means that he's involved in something "interesting". They haven't just had their stuff stolen by regular criminals (boring, puts them further away from his goal) - they've been caught up in the beginning stages of "a historic event". The desperate and dwindling group forgetting morals in their quest to retrieve their lost comrade probably appeals to his sense of melodrama. Because he also just... loves drama.

Despite it being "uglier than anything he was expecting", he still pursues Laios as the person he wants to conquer the dungeon pretty much as soon as it becomes clear that he won't be able to do it himself and they are out of time. That's because... well, to be fair, there aren't any other options. And he fits standard A: he's short-lived!

and Kabru still hopes he can fit standard B, too, and be persuaded to use the power he wins for good. No matter how many nightmares he has about Laios, or whether he thinks about killing him. He doubts him, but ultimately he puts his faith in him and seems happy after the manga's ending that he made the right decision.

#dungeon meshi #dungeon meshi manga spoilers #dungeon meshi meta #kabru of utaya #laios touden #labru #laios x kabru #dunmeshi #og post #kabru is such a big picture thinker. and he evaluates people more than he judges them imo #the hater jokes are funny but the people he judges most harshly arent laios and co. they're people like the island's lord. #but you don't see that as clearly because he isn't interested in the island's lord. he understands him. finds him contemptible but useful. #whereas laios lives in his brain rent free because he WANTS to understand him but doesnt quite. #even though he sees the elves as a major threat to his ultimate goals and dislikes the way they treat short lived races #he still understands and evaluates mithrun as an individual based on his own merits #he's one of the characters who is least judgemental in that sense because while he's always making judgements and evaluations #he's also constantly revising them whenever he gets more information #my beautiful machiavellian prince <3 #it's genuinely a really laudable way of understanding others imo. #the only problem is that because he's driven towards his goals by his PTSD and survivors guilt #he pushes himself into situations (the dungeon and also interpersonally) that trigger him or even just upset him #without regard for what he authentically wants or his own wellbeing.

[arundolyn]

happy testament tuesday

#testament #guilty gear #guilty gear strive #ggst #guilty gif #crow.gif #taunts #poses #uhhh i think thats it. jesus its been a while #anyway happy birthday tes Testament Tuesday be upon ye #literally been meaning to do like Any gifs of them forever and post them on a tuesday as funny joke #but the world works in strange ways (tuesday birthday YIPPEE) #note for anyone checking the op for info on the source: their pronouns are they/them!! #like canonically!!

[wandering-the-worlds]

time loop fans when it happens again [it's a cj reference]

#THIS POST IS STOLEN I'M STEALING IT THIS IS NOT MY JOKE I DIDN'T COME UP WITH IT #[blue.txt] #soz not soz op if you somehow see this[but silly billies must silly find a way to keep silly billying]

[starlightseraph]

house md so wonderful and brilliant because it is simultaneously the heaviest, darkest, most serious show about love and loss and how trauma shapes people and the most unhinged thing you'll ever experience.

#and very gay #like seriously. #it’s actually beautiful and profound in so many ways #but that part is often drowned out by the insanity #just like how all the characters in the show are incredibly repressed and use slur-jokes to deflect #house md #hilson #hate crimes md #hugh laurie #rsl #robert sean leonard #gregory house #james wilson #and yes this post is an almost verbatim quote from something i posted earlier today #but i thought it deserved its own post #starlightseraph’s brainrot

[chilly-lily]

whoever popularized the “amity wants hunter dead” fanon is literally my worst enemy. like look at this. they’re buddies. imagine being wrong about Everything

and the fact that amity is second to the airship before they realize that hunter wasn’t actually taken.. she does not hate that boy!! they are friends!!!

#the owl house #amity blight #also like. the way people make it all about how much better of a friend willow is. #like if you really want an amity-willow conflict. make it about THEM and not a boy lmfao #if one more person replies to this with ‘they just hate each other and want each other dead in a joking way’ i’m blowing this fuckin post up #maybe i wanted to talk about them actually being nice to each other. not everything has to be about rivalries and teasing.

[halcyon-autumn]

Huge L for Helio this episode I gotta say. Something about meeting that guy makes people want to go worship a dead lesbian

#YES this is the same joke twice I thought of two funny ways to say it #this post better not break containment it sounds insane out of context #also important to state that Cassandra is of course an enby lesbian we love our non-binary godexx of mystery #fantasy high #fhjy #fantasy high junior year #buddy dawn #kristen applebees #helio #ankarna #fantasy high spoilers #dimension 20

[localapparently]

happy pocky day

#i wanted to draw more but i ran out of time so here are the ideas that didn't make it: #just yhk giving each other proper cute kisses #yjhs pro gamer attribute unintentionally making him competitively godlike in pocky game #he reaches the middle of the stick in half a second #kdj eating yjh's baked pocky and saying “its just like storebrought pocky!” in a positive way #yjh goes to a corner to sulk and hsy yells at kdj that he is heartless #kdj frantically going “i was joking i was joking theyre really good” #im pretty sure someone made a hc of kdj saying yjhs food tastes “as good as storebrought food” and yjh being upset on twt #but i forgot who made the post. #anyway sorry this is a lot of tags #orv #omniscient reader fanart #omniscient readers viewpoint #omniscient reader #orv fanart #kim dokja #kdj #han sooyoung #hsy #yjh #yoo joonghyuk #yoohankim #doksoo #hankim #yoohan #crit's art: orv

[deuteragonist1]

Wait a damn minute Merlin is an actual nightmare of a servant. Imagine you're the Prince and all of a sudden and only two seconds after surviving an assassination attempt you're stuck with this scrawny, clumsy fucking dude with a really shifty air about him who spends literal days in the tavern with zero notice, steals your food, tried to spy on a guest, doesn't let you hunt, can never fucking be found when you need him even though he is the literal manservant to the prince, which you would think should be a priority but apparently he has better things to do, and is always talking like he's the only thing standing between you and certain death???? Then he gives you attitude? Literally I would throw things at him too. Arthur is misunderstood he's actually being too nice

#i actually love merlin okay this is a joke #but like damn he did suck at his job #disclaimer the author of this post does not condone mistreating your manservants in any way #if you have a manservant you should count yourself very lucky and show them appreciation #kiss them on the forehead #maybe ask them out #just throwing out ideas #being scrawny isn't a crime but merlin being scrawny is very personal to me #and to arthur i guess #merthur #bbc merlin #merlin emrys #bbc arthur #arthur pendragon