#this rant brought to you in part by hunger | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

ladymarycrawley · 2 years

Text

Something worth trying -Mason Mount ft John Stones

Request: Can I request you a mason smut where you're his best friend and y'all have thought about giving your friendship another way so you're at sgp with him and he ends up dragging you to the indoor pool thinking y'all are alone and while he's about to go down on you John comes up and finds the two of you and Mason invites him to join both of you

Warning: Threesome, kinda smutty

Tag list: @masonxomount @chelsealover @stonesyy

Your work was what brought you two together, since you were working as the assistant of his stylist Carlotta. At first you weren’t that interested in him, thinking he was too vain but then everything changed when one day Carlotta, who was running late for work, asked you to start the work you had planned for that day with Mason: during that morning you had the opportunity to get to know him better and soon after you were there, wanting to spend as much time as possible with him as you couldn’t get enough of him.

If someone would’ve told you you would end up having a romantic relationship with a footballer you wouldn’t have believed them. Too unrealistic.

And then there you go, hooking up with none other than Chelsea’s starboy Mason Mount.

He walked towards you with a wide smile on his face, as you stood here waiting for him.

In this regard, you took a day off to go and visit him at Saint George’s Park as he was away with England for some international friendlies.

Your idea was to surprise Mason but you never been there so you didn’t have the faintest idea of where to enter the facility. So you texted him you were outside and that text surely took him by surprise as the last thing he was expecting was seeing you there.

“Hey you, what are you doing here?”

“Surprise!” He giggled at your tone, throwing his arms around your neck and brushing his lips against yours.

“I missed you so much”

“Missed you more” He whispered before placing a peck on your lower lip.

“So how about taking me on a tour around here?”

“Well, there isn’t much to see actually…you’re already seeing the main attraction” He started prancing around, puffing his chest, clearly faking it just to make you laugh.

“Mhh, stop being so cocky, it doesn’t suit you” You rolled your eyes before playing along with him “Technically you would be the tour guide, not the attraction”

It was his time to roll his eyes. “Ha ha you’re so funny”

“I know” You smiled, before placing an innocent kiss on his chin.

“Come on, let’s go inside, it’s getting cold here” He wrapped his arm around your shoulders to keep you warm as he guided you inside the building.

“Is it usually so quiet?” You asked as you looked around, trying to take in the surroundings.

“Nope, today the guys are out for a special training session so we have all of this to ourselves”

“Well, it appears like I chose the right day for a visit…”

Mason wiggled his eyebrows as he dragged you towards an area you were soon about to visit, the indoor pool.

“Since we’re all alone, we can enjoy some time here…just me and you” He said with a raspy voice while peppering kisses from the sensitive spot behind your ear down to your spine.

“No Mase, not here. I don’t wanna risk anything”

“Come on baby, they’re all out and won’t be here for the next two hours at least” His lips stopped on the soft skin between your neck and your shoulder, sucking on it so the reddish bruise of a love bite would start to form. “I’ve missed you so much”

“I’ve missed you too but we can’t do it here”

“Yes we can”

“Mase -” He stopped your ranting by pressing his mouth on yours in an avid kiss. Mason placed his hand on the back of your neck to keep your head in place. His tongue would graze your lips, in a silent request for you to welcome it inside your mouth.

As you parted your lips your tongues engaged in a restless fight for dominance.

While kissing you, Mason’s hands moved to grab your bum so he could take you in his arms, after you jumped wrapping your legs around his waist.

The passion and the hunger you had for each other was too strong to resist so you easily gave in.

He led you towards a deckchair that was placed by the edge of the pool and gently pushed you back so you found yourself seated on it.

Without moving his lips away from yours, Mason positioned himself on top of you, between your legs to be precise.

You were the first to break the kiss in order to get some air in your lungs but he didn’t have the slightest intention to let go of you. In fact he let his lips trace a wet trail along the upper part of your body, still clothed.

When he arrived at your core he raised his gaze to look at you, as he was waiting for your silent nod telling it was okay for him to go on.

Mason licked his lips as he was about to savour the most delicious meal ever and unbottoned your jeans.

He was irresistible and you were there, waiting for him to take you in the most unexpected place your mind could think of.

You were there with your legs placed on his shoulders to give him better access to where you needed him the most.

As he started peppering wet kisses here and there someone crept up on you.

"Shit"

"Who the fuck -" Mason panicked a little, pushing his body further to cover yours.

You wanted to disappear: John Stones just entered the indoor pool and caught Mason eating you out. You couldn't believe it.

"Busted!" He giggled, quite amused with the scene in front of him. “Am I interrupting something?”

"For fuck sake John, weren’t you supposed to be with the team??”

“I’m injured too, Mount” He licked his lips, crossing his arms to his chest.

The sight of his tongue wetting his plumpy lips made you let out a quiet moan that didn’t go unnoticed by Mason.

“Well, since you’re here, you could join us”

“Me?” He giggled, looking at you “ That’s a weird way to introduce me to your new girlfriend”

“Erm we’re -”

“John, that’s Y/N; Y/N that’s John”

“Hi” Your cheeks had grown flushed because of that weird interaction.

“She finds you hot so I don’t think it’s a problem having you here”

“Mason!” You hit him on his bicep, as you wanted that embarrassing moment to end as soon as possible.

“If she agrees…”

It was all so surreal yet so exciting your first answer would have been no and refuse all of that but, another hidden part of you, was so eager to try something new with two of the most handsome guys you ever laid your eyes on.

“Okay, we can give it a try I guess…”

“Babe, you don’t have to do it if you aren’t sure”

“I am Mase, I want to try it” You reassured him with a little smile and gave a squeeze around his forearm.

"Well the deckchair is too small for the three of us. I guess we'll have to go somewhere else…"

Mason smirked and helped you putting your jeans back on as he would stand up from the chair, offering you his hand to help you up.

Mason would climb on top of you, running his hand through your hair to kiss you feverishly.

You would go to Mason’s room that he shared with Declan, taking advantage of his absence to explore each other’s bodies.

Mason and John were there right before you, devouring you with their eyes as you would lay on the bed, propped up on your elbows.

Without looking away from your lover’s eyes you licked your lips as he would get naked, his teammate doing the same.

Their bodies were like marble sculptures, like the ones you saw in museums. That sight left your mouth watering.

“Now I’m gonna fuck you and John will stand there watching the little slut that you are, okay?”

“Yes…”

“What? I can’t hear you”

“Yes, daddy” He breathed out, your eyes already closed waiting for him to fill you up with his cock.

“Good girl…” Mason smirked as he would position himself at your entrance, pushing his member right into you. After he gave you a few seconds to let you adjust to his length he started moving, his pace getting faster with each thrust.

John in the meanwhile was standing there looking at you, as Mason instructed him earlier on, stroking his dick.

Your hands were holding onto his shoulders, as your nails would leave red marks on his skin, a clear sign he was fucking you so good. As his lips would leave yours to go give some attention to your nipples and then to your stomach, that warm, familiar feeling at the pit of your stomach that would usually make you feel kind of dizzy, was starting to form, meaning you were close to reaching your high.

“Mason I -”

“I know baby, I know, cum for me”

After hearing those words you let your climax overwhelm you, making Mason hiss as your walls clenched around him.

“Let me clean up this mess” He whispered, breathing those words on the numb area.

“I can do that” John offered, making you moan, again.

He kneeled down in front of you, pressing his hands on your knees so as to part your legs a little for him to place his head between your thighs.

“Oh my God” You brought your hand to your mouth as soon as his lips grazed your lips down there, biting on your fingers to not cry out loud.

“Shh, here, bite here babygirl” Mason cooed, bringing his fingers close to your face for you to bite and suck on them.

As John was eating you out, Mason was lying next to you, fucking your mouth with his fingers, applying some pressure on your tongue to keep it open.

A loud moan echoed throughout the room as John gave you the second orgasm of the day.

“You’re doing so good” Mason whispered, licking your lips before kissing you.

You took his tongue between your lips and started sucking on it; your face was grinding against his so his open mouth would graze your lips, low moans escaping from it, making you want to smile. His tongue then did the same with yours, as his hand would move between your legs.

John, who was laying behind you by then, brought his beautiful lips to kiss the back of your neck, tugging at your earlobe, as his hand would reach Mason’s one over your pussy.

They started grazing it with their fingers until the moment when Mason pushed his index into you, eliciting a loud whimper right into his mouth.

John’s ones would go on massaging your clit, as the third orgasm would soon make its way into you.

You moved your hand backwards to bury it among John’s perfect curls as the other played with Mason’s shorter hair.

The best, most unexpected part, came when Mason would fill you once again slamming his dick inside of you and you, in an act that came to you as something completely natural, grabbed John's member behind you and started stroking it so all three would find some pleasure.

Soon enough you all reached your high, leaving your bodies panting, the sweat on your skin radiating a warm feeling you were basking in, still quite disbelieving of the situation that just took place.

“Well, it was nice to meet you Y/N”

You giggled at his joke, as you watched him getting his clothes back on.

“Mase, I’ll leave the after care to you, just keep in mind they should be here at any time now”

“Yeah, mate, thanks”

“It was a pleasure, John!”

“Yep, in every way”

“Hey! I’m still here you know” Mason grumbled, being a little jealous of your playful banter.

“Shut up, you silly…you know my pussy belongs to you” You couldn’t get enough of him and you wanted to tease him a little more.

“Okay John, thank you for your help, cheers” He dismissed his teammate before giving in to your tease and kissing you again and again.

“Mason, what if they see us?”

“We’ll ask them to join us”

You shook your head at his joke. You were just at the beginning of your realtionship and you couldn’t wait to share other happy - horny - moments with him.

252 notes · View notes

official-hoe-of-the-devildom · 1 year

Note

Lucifer getting a wing Bonner bc of y/n

It was another day of chaos in the devildom but that was nothing new to you. You've been living with the demon brothers for a while now so something like this was already expected. Still, seeing the demon brothers dressed in provocative clothes, topped with bunny ears and tail almost had you blushing.

Mammon made a deal - one that would benefit him no doubt - with the owner of The Fall, devildom's most popular night club. Unfortunately, that deal also involved his six brothers and yourself. You tried your best to hold back a laugh as you looked into the disdained expressions of the demons in front of you.

But before you could fully take in the view, Mammon threw something at you. "Come on 'n' get yaself ready." You looked at the ball of clothes you just catched and silently sighed. Right. You were part of the deal as well. Turning around you headed to the staff room.

A big mirror showed you every curve of your body that were now impossible to hide inside the corsage you were given. The pants and thigh high stockings didn't leave much to the imagination either. You put on your bunny ears and turned around, watching the fluffy tail wiggling in the mirror in sync to your hips. A knock on the door brought yor attention back to the room. "Are you ready?" you heard Lucifers ask, his voice dulled by the close door. One last check in the mirror before you turned and headed to the door.

When you opened it you were met with red eyes staring at you, going from impatience to lust to something that could only be described as primal hunger. Before you were able to say something, you were pushed back inside the room. You opened your mouth but the complain about this harsh treatment got stuck in your throat as you noticed that Lucifer was now in his demon form, towering over you.

"Little bunny" he growled, before pressing his lips against yours. One of his hands grabbed your throat while the other roamed over your body, eagerly claiming every piece of you it could find. He bit your bottom lip before letting go, giving you a chance to exhale the breath you didn't realize you were holding. You dared to look back into his eyes and sudden heat filled your face. He looked as if he was a second away from devouring you, which got the heat to drop down to another body part.

Instinctly you pressed your thighs together in search of some much needed friction. As if on cue Lucifer pushed you flush against him, his hand caressing a trail down your thigh before lifting it up to his side. The bulge in his pants was now prominently resting inbetween your legs.

"Yer done inside there?" you heard, before Mammon jumped into the room. You tried to move away from Lucifer, not wanting to be seen in such an intimate pose, but the Avatar of Pride didn't let go of his grip on you, pressing you even closer towards him. "Wha- Why are ya so close to-" the younger brother started to rant but cut off by a growled "Out." If Lucifer in his normal state was scary, in his demon state he was terrifying. His attention moved back to you, making your knees weak under his intense stare. "Are you going to take responsibility for what you did to me?" he asked calmly but the tightened grip around your throat and the sadistic smile on his face made it clear that he was anything but calm.

You stayed in the staff room for the rest of the night. Luckily, there were no more interruptions.

#I wrote this twice cause I forgot how shitty the tumblr app is #ya want more? x3 #tw: choking #lucifer #obey me lucifer #swd lucifer #om lucifer #obey me!#obey me #swd om #swd om!#om!#lucifer avatar of pride #om fanfic #obey me requests #obey me fanfic #I forgot how to tag on tumblr pls help #no beta we die like lilith

41 notes · View notes

office-worker-91 · 8 months

Text

Infinity Train Fear and Hunger AU Snippet 3

(This WAS the end of these weird AU snippets, but I have more ideas to throw around so there's gonna be one more after this. Still, if I ever do anything else with this concept it will be in a Fear and Hunger INSPIRED Au called Infinity Dungeon AU, that way I could avoid the more uncomfortable parts of Fear and Hunger while still having the basic gist of the franchise available.)

(CW: Serious Injuries, Mentions of Gore)

It was shaky at first. Very shaky.

Jesse and Lake had ran into a strange cave, covered in flesh. Lake was not surprised to see it, nor were they particularly affected by it. Jesse was an entirely different story. He squirmed and tip toed across the hall as Lake rolled their eyes at the human, slipping into an unfamiliar steel contraption to hopefully hide from any monsters around. With that, Lake turned to Jesse, realizing they were stuck with him, and decided to lay out some ground rules.

They get to distribute the duo's food.

If he does anything stupid that gets them in trouble, they're ditching him.

"If you steal from me I'll bash your brains in." (All talk of course, though at the time Jesse didn't know that)

The boy just nodded along vigorously, not speaking at all. The two were silent at first, still sheltering in the metal contraption, but when Jesse decided to poke around in it he found a lever that sent the contraption downwards with them in it.

Lake considered enacting rule 2 right then and there, but there was no time for that. Their stomach growled and drove them out of the cage to explore the huge cave they had been brought to, Jesse scampering behind them.

He then began to talk. A lot.

"Woah, this place is huge! Y'know, I heard from one of my friends that caves like this are formed because of underground rivers! UNDERGROUND. RIVERS!"

"Are you... made of metal?! How? Why? Does that mean you're invincible? Is that how you've survived down here?"

"Soooooo... what do you think was up with that flesh hallway?...... Y'know what, let's not talk about it."

"By All-Mer, is that a deer???"

Lake had Jesse tuned out, which meant that they didn't notice the deer until they ran face first into it. They immediately backed up, terrified that it was some monstrosity that would destroy the bridge they were both on and take them and Jesse down with it. Instead the deer looked at them with simultaneously dead and curious eyes. Some sort of impossible mixture of no thought and unknowable thought that boggled their mind.

Jesse liked the deer. He tip-toed up close to it and stared in awe. Lake regained their voice and yelled out to stand back, not wanting Jesse to get turned into mince meat five minutes after deciding they would protect him, but the deer didn't attack, or ever approach Jesse. It just kept staring.

The sunshine boy went on a rant that, somehow, ended in giving the deer a green herb to eat (didn't he know those were a valuable medical resource???) and naming him Alan Dracula. Stars shone in his eyes as he gazed at the inexplicable cave deer lovingly. Lake wanted to reprimand him, but two things happened.

They saw Jesse's face. It was... utterly happy. Despite everything the boy must've gone through, despite his discomfort and his nervous ramblings, right now he was utterly happy. Lake had vague memories of the sun from being Tulip's reflection. They think this must be what being out in the sun is like.

They look at "Alan Dracula" and realize their reaction to him had been similar to Jesse's reaction to them, something Lake didn't appreciate. Just because something wasn't human, and it was down in the dungeons.... well, Lake was living proof that not all monsters are monstrous, right?

So Lake stepped forwards and tentatively reached out to pat Alan Dracula. In response, the deer simply closed its eyes. Jesse, for the third time since they've met less than half an hour ago, begged Lake for something, this time asking if they could "keep him." Lake refused, but it sounded weak when they were feeling his soft head in their hands. They pivoted their stance to "the deer has free will and can come if it wants!" which led to the two turning around and walking back across the bridge. The deer stared after them, but didn't follow.

Jesse was disappointed, and Lake was too, but they wouldn't show it. They were starving, and Jesse was starting to get hungry too. So they kept scouring the cave, and that's when they saw it: Eggs. Giant eggs. Dozens of them.

The sunshine boy ran forward eagerly before his metal companion had to pull him back. They reminded him that something has to LAY those eggs in order for them to be there. Instead of this getting what Lake thought was the appropriate reaction, Jesse suddenly got very sad and said he didn't want to eat some poor cave creature's eggs. Lake wasn't sure whether that was a sign of goodness of heart or insanity, but either way they knew they still needed to eat. So after some light convincing and a growing pain in his stomach, Jesse agreed they would take a few, but not enough for the mother to know any were missing.

As Lake shoved some eggs into their pack and instructed Jesse to do the same, they heard something. From the dark abyss they were standing next to, something was coming toward them. Their fight or flight instinct kicked in, and they grabbed Jesse's hand and tried to run, but by that point the thing was already upon them. It was winged. It's talons were sharp, each a few inches long. It's face was HORRIBLE, it was so humanoid and it didn't belong on its monstrous body. Lake wonders if maybe that's how people see them.

Okay, flight didn't work. On to fight, then. They quickly tossed Jesse an iron spear they'd found on a table somewhere, which he caught clumsily in his hands, his face one of pure terror. They then pulled out their trusty morning star, their prized weapon they had lucked out with in a random chest.

The mother was brutal. It pecked and slashed with overwhelming speed and power. Lake's swings didn't all connect, as the thing was in the air and they had to get close in order to hit it, but the swings they did land were solid. They targeted the wings, knowing without them it was much less mobile, and hoping Jesse would do the same.

Surprisingly, he did. He wasn't all that bad. Despite the weapon he held being steel he had control over it, suggesting physical strength Lake didn't know was there before. Holes and bruises covered the beasts wings, but Lake wasn't without injury. The talons scratched up their skin, which normally wouldn't concern Lake, but it looked like it was beginning to do actual damage, which wasn't something they've experienced before. The mother was by far the toughest thing they had to fight, and if that's true they didn't even want to THINK about what this was like for Jesse. For most of the battle he was relatively unharmed, but at one point the cave mother dashed past Lake and bit down on Jesse neck, causing him to scream and fall over.

Lake didn't know why, but they panicked.

They swung their morning star at the thing's already damaged left wing and broke it. The mother in retaliation rushed towards Jesse again, and Lake protected him once again without thinking. Their arm seared with pain at the blow, and they swore that nothing had ever cut them that deep before. They dropped their weapon and hissed, but before the mother could finish the job Jesse had stood and wildly thrusted the spear into the mother's wing with one hand while the other clutched his injured neck. The cave mother cried terribly, now on its talons, before backing away from the pair, eying them with pure hatred as it walked off the edge and it slowly slinked into the dark abyss.

Lake looked at their arm, determined it would stay attached to them for now, and immediately ran over to Jesse and bandaged his wound to stop the bleeding. He thanked them for the save, and Lake did the same while simultaneously calling him soft. It was meant to be a joke, but they said it grimly. He gave a weak laugh regardless.

As they began to leave the area towards the iron cage (who knows if there were more of those things), both of them saw something charging towards them in the darkness. It was the cave mother, now running, wingless, towards them in a blind fury. There was no way they could fight that thing, nor run from it, in their current state. Lake shielded Jesse, wondering, crazed from hunger and pain, if Jesse was an angel sent to earth to release them from the hellish dungeons and into the afterlife, guiding them towards death.

Then Alan Dracula was next to them.

Jesse didn't question it and grabbed Lake's hand, vaulting onto the deer's back. Lake wanted to protest, saying they were too heavy for a deer to carry, but when Jesse pulled them up, Alan Dracula began dashing as if they weighed nothing at all.

Lake didn't know much of anything about deer, but apparently they're faster than winged cave ladies, since he easily outran the creature and headed into what vaguely looked like mines, dashing straight into them and not stopping until the cave mother had obviously lost them.

As soon as he stopped, Alan Dracula threw Jesse and Lake onto the ground in a painful, moaning heap of flesh and metal. They were injured, more so than either had ever been in their entire lives, but they were alive. Alan Dracula looked down at them, that same mix of thoughtlessness and thoughtfulness present in his eyes.

The two hugged Alan Dracula, which he let them do. Both were crying from the experience they'd just had. Still, they had food. They had each other. And they had a "rad deer friend," as Jesse lovingly put it while scratching him behind the ear.

After taking a while to get their bearings, the three ventured off deeper into the mines, careful to be stealthy and evade anything they saw that moved.

#infinity train #jesse cosay #lake infinity train #jesslake #au idea #fear and hunger #alan dracula #thank you for listening paper bag people #Me: I would never hurt my babies physically. Only emotionally.#Also me:#I really expected to finish these snippets here #but I guess I'm doing one more #I know nobody reads these or cares but I still appreciate the few people who heart them #cw: gore #cw: injury #If I ever turn this into an actual fanfic it will be a modified version of the Fear and Hunger AU called #Infinity Dungeon AU

6 notes · View notes

sam-is-here96 · 10 months

Text

Young Adult Fiction

I've recently, well over the last year, have been reading young adult fiction. The kind that, as an adult, is really simple and the only reason I'm enjoying the material is because I'm working full time and also going to school full time. Naturally, my brain has little capacity for more complex thought outside of those two categories. I get to relax and I get to continue feeding my book hunger.

Through the last year, I've come to realize something about young adult fiction. I think this might also be applicable to children's books, too. Though it's less glaringly obvious for young adult books. I didn't realize it consciously though until I was reading a review page for Mercedes Lackey's Closer To The Chest novel.

This reviewer had given the book a poor review, stating how fantastical it was. **Spoilers warning!!** How the King's Own would never be bothered to spend her precious time with such trivial matters, and how the prince and king wouldn't either. And other comments along those lines.

My immediate thought was YES, DUH, we as adults know that! That isn't the point! A big part of young adult books is to build up the reader's sense of self. To help them learn to stand up for and advocate for themselves. Plot lines like this are teaching the impressionable readers that things like being bullied, misogyny, suicide, are serious matters and should be brought to the attention of people who can help. To not suffer alone, to use the strength of community, and so on and so forth. There are many valuable lessons in this book and you have to look past the fantastical to see them.

Anyway, this isn't a rant about this person's review. It's just me, pointing out that this is a common theme in young adult novels and that doesn't make the material any less valuable or any less "good".

#books #valdemar #heralds of valdemar #mercedes lackey #closer to the chest #book thoughts #young adult

1 note · View note

jacer101 · 2 years

Text

Once Again

I’m here again. God damn I’m tired of coming here. I don’t know, it feels like a shot to my pride. Like this is the last resort, whenever I come here I can’t help but feel like a bitch. Though I guess whether I show up here or not I’ll feel like that, so I can’t really blame this hell hole. Kendrick needs to hurry up and drop, I need a distraction desperately. I need an excuse or an escape. An outlet or something. I’m so tired of it, being treated like I don’t get it, being treated as an outlet, hell maybe just being treated in general. I don’t get why I’m not content as is. I have great friends, a good life, a promising future, yet I’m still discontent. Is it an issue with my pride? Is it an issue with deserving? I fucking hate it. I feel almost sick, and I can’t tell if it’s hunger, exhaustion, or just an overall nasty feeling. Apparently I’ve been angrier as of recently, and I wish that wasn’t the case. Hell I hate that that’s the case. Why do I feel so weak? Why do I even have to come here as an outlet? Y’know, yesterday talked to a few friends and felt like a bitch for being stuck up on a girl I didn’t even really date, but today it’s a completely different type of feeling like a bitch. Like what would it take to satisfy me. And why is it that I want things that aren’t an option for me. And the worst part is when people talk to me like I don’t know these things. Had a conversation with one of the friends earlier, and they brought up my raised hostility and asked if everything was cool. I said yeah, just dealing with what I normally am, and they went into some rant about how I should be my first priority, and if my actions are harmful to myself, regardless of if they help or satisfy another, I shouldn’t do them. And it’s aggravating because like- do you think I didn’t already know that much? I know what I do is self destructive. I know some of the people I talk to are harmful. But it’s really not that simple. I wish it were but it’s not. And even if it was do you realize how much of a step that’d be? How difficult of a step that’d be? Why can’t I cut out thoughts. Why can’t I cut out people? Why can’t I cut out feelings? All of them can go fuck themselves. There’s no “Well I don’t matter so I’ll do harmful things to benefit others” bullshit, because that wouldn’t be true. Just no type of motivation or strength to actually put myself on that pedalstool. That is definitely not how you spell it but whatever. I just don’t know man, maybe I’m getting burnt out. Maybe I’ve finally gotten into a corner and don’t like any of my options. All I know is if something doesn’t change soon I’m gonna do something stupid. What that is I’ve got no fucking clue, but I’m already below rock bottom, no matter what I do it doesn’t matter much. Shit forget rock bottom at this point I’ve started boring into the rock. Pockets full of sediment, dug up to my ankles. Doubt that made much sense, but it did in my mind, it’s just what came out when I started typing. I’d love to say I need control, but I know control is something you never get. Forget control. Forget all of that shit. At this point I don’t even give a fuck what happens. I just want this shit to stop. This unending exhaustion. This never-dying boredom. This constant sickness. Why do I feel like I could pass out at any moment. If something doesn’t happen soon I swear I’m gonna do something I regret. Nothing dangerous, but something that won’t pay off nicely.

0 notes

eikotheblue · 4 years

Text

every day just feels like it’s harder and less survivable, i don’t know how to cope with what’s happening consistently, and i feel like i can’t talk to anyone about this fairly because this is impacting everyone and like obviously the correct thing to do in that situation is to seek out mental health resources but I don’t feel like I can handle that and I don’t think I’m like, irrationally stressed/anxious or anything this is just... hard, and there’s no feasible way to avoid constantly getting pulled back into thinking about it because it’s everywhere all the time! i can refocus and reorient myself and pull out of individual anxiety spirals just fine, but not for free and it just keeps happening and i feel like i’m running on empty and i feel like i’m going to let down everyone who expects or depends upon me for something and i’m and i’m so scared

#covid cw #negativity cw #anxiety cw #this rant brought to you in part by hunger #which means that like #i don't exactly endorse these thoughts but #i can't feed myself reliably so despite not trusting thoughts like these #i do have to live with them all the fucking time now #but eiko #why not just eat food #good question honestly if i figure it out i'll let you know!!!!

10 notes · View notes

arvinsescape · 2 years

Text

Insatiable urges.

A/N: Kicking off my Halloween week with my first fic! This is a vampire one and a little different for me so I hope you all enjoy! Also you’re getting it early! 🎃💕

This is a work of fiction and Tom is used in name and face only, I don’t claim to know him or claim to have any idea how he thinks and feels as a person.

Summary: She’s a vampire, he wants her to change him and she has her reservations.

Warnings: Swearing, mentions of death and blood (this is a vampire fic), blood drinking, biting. Smut (unprotected sex, use a condom, stay safe), minors do not engage. I think that’s everything...

W/C: 3.5K

She’d been a vampire now for almost 300 years, stuck at the age of 23 for 300 years. She’d had a rough time when she’d turned, killed multiple people by feeding off them, no idea how to control her urges. When someone first turns they’re hunger takes a long time to settle, they spend almost six months wanting nothing more than to feed off people. It wasn’t until she met George that she learned how to control herself.

“Hey,” a soft voice approached her, she was on a blood high and crying over the body she’d drained moments ago. “It’s okay.” She was sat in an alleyway, hidden from view but George had heard the commotion, of course he had, his hearing was superhuman.

“I didn’t mean to kill her.” Y/N whimpered out. “I just couldn’t stop.”

“It happens to us all, how long have you been like this?”

“Two months.” She declared, she’d figured he was a vampire, no one would be stupid enough to approach otherwise. “I always just want a little bit but they always end up dead.” Her head was still fuzzy from all the blood but she felt like she needed more.

“You’re new? That explains a lot.” George said as he sat next to her. “I can teach you how to deal with the urges.” He spoke and she snapped her head to look at him and he graced her with a comforting smile.

“You’d do that? You don’t know me.” She spoke and George sighed as he ran a hand through his hair.

“I wish someone had done it for me.”

George had been a vampire 200 years longer than she had and he was a fantastic teacher. If people look at Y/N now, they’d have no reason to believe she was different from any other human on the planet. George had taught her the importance of not drinking directly from the vein, it’s harder to stop, it’s the blood a vampire would forever crave. Blood bags were the best thing that ever graced the planet in Y/N’s opinion, she’d almost gone on a rampage when George had brought her some home.

She’d spent the best part of 200 years feeding from animals, this had never satiated any urge, the need to drink human blood was overpowering at times and gave her a headache, but George had been there. He’d been there through it all, he’d taught her how to behave normally, how to keep down foods when she was expected to appear at dinners with friends. He’d taught her everything, what he had not taught her, however, was what it was like to be with someone who so desperately wanted to be what she is.

“He’s asking again.” She said as she stormed back into their shared house, George looked up from the couch, amused.

“Tom?”

“Yeah. He thinks it’s what he wants.”

“Maybe it is.” George shrugged. “I like the guy, I think it’d be great to have him around forever.” George gave her a knowing smirk, it was no secret that George thought her doting boyfriend was hot. “Look, give it more thought, there would be a lot of advantages.” He added more seriously.

“He’d hate it, he has no idea what it means to fight urges every day. He’d hate what he’d become and in turn he’d hate me.” She ranted and George laughed.

“You’ll be there with him. I can teach him you know. I’ve heard I’m a pretty good teacher, in fact I know I am,” he added cockily. “I’ve seen the results of my teaching firsthand.” He laughed before he sighed out, “just think about it yeah? It might not be as bad as you think.”

She loved Tom, she really did, she loved everything about him and the idea of turning him didn’t appeal to her, she wanted him to experience life as it was meant to be experienced. She didn’t want him to go through the pain of losing all of his family, his friends, having to move every ten years so people wouldn’t notice that he hadn’t aged. She knew if he ever killed someone he’d let the guilt weigh him down and when vampires feel it consumes them. She’d learnt that many times, every emotion she’d ever had since turning had been amplified by a thousand. She just didn’t want that for him.

“Listen, Tom,” she sighed, they were yet again talking about it. “You’re too good of a person, you won’t be able to control yourself. You might kill someone.”

“You’re doing fine, when was the last time that happened to you?” Tom snapped, he wasn’t happy that she kept refusing him, this was his choice. “I’ll have you, you’d be there for me.”

“Tom,” she sighed again. “I wouldn’t be able to stop you, you’d be stronger than me.”

“You’re not gonna change your mind?” He ran a hand through his hair. “There would be advantages.” He tried hopefully and she huffed.

“I know, I know. But I can’t risk it.” She said and he nodded, realising it was futile to argue with her over this. It had caused too much conflict over the last month.

She was struggling, three days with no blood and no amount of alcohol was subsiding the urge. The local hospital, well doctor that supplied her with blood bags had run short and he couldn’t afford to giver her any until the delivery next week. She understood and held no ill feeling to the man but she was struggling. She’d decided she was going home, the supermarket was too much, she was good at fighting her urges but not that good. She somewhat stumbled through her front door, George was away for the week.

“What happened?” His voice startled her, she didn’t know he was coming today.

“Tom?” She gasped, the scent of his blood filling her senses more than they usually did. She put her hand up as he tried to approach her, he stopped and she was thankful.

“What happened? You look terrible.” He rushed out, concern lacing every word. He needed to leave, she thought. His blood was the only thing invading her thoughts. His blood as always been more intoxicating than anyone else’s, sometimes she struggled, especially when they were sleeping with one another.

“I haven’t eaten.” She got out, she felt light headed, fuzzy. “I need you to leave.” It came out harsher than she’d wanted.

“Use me.” Tom said and she snapped her head up to look at him with a glare.

“I don’t feed on people.” She said as she somewhat rushed past him to collapse on the couch.

“But it’s different with me!” Tom’s voice was somewhat begging in nature. “I consent to it. I want you to.” He said and she wished he’d stop moving closer to her, she was fighting every urge in her body not to jump at him, especially when he was so willingly offering himself.

“I can’t.” She got out weakly as she curled up on the couch, trying to stop herself thinking about him and how good he smelt. “Your blood is intoxicating enough, I don’t trust myself to drink it.”

“I trust you.” He said comfortingly, but it brought her no comfort at all, he had no idea how good he smelt, what him being stood so closely was doing to her.

“You shouldn’t.”

“But I do!” He shouted in desperation, he hated seeing her like this, she wasn’t herself and the fix seemed so simple to him.

“I don’t trust myself to stop. I haven’t had a drink from the vein in years Tom. You’re blood? I can’t.” She shook her head and Tom furrowed his brows.

“What’ll happen if you don’t drink?”

“Nothing, I’ll just be weak and light headed. None of the bad stuff will happen, I’ll get blood by then.” She gave him a weak smile, she needed to get away from him. It was the first time in their three year relationship that she didn’t want him anywhere near her, his life was in danger and she’s the danger. “I need to lie down.” She said and Tom nodded.

“I’ll stay.”

“Tom, please?” She begged with him and he felt torn, he wanted to stay with her but she was begging with him to leave her alone. “You don’t understand, I can’t have you near me right now.” She said as she ran past him and upstairs. She felt guilty but she’d feel worse if she accidently killed him.

She didn’t return downstairs for three hours and by then her light headedness had gotten worse, she was stumbling around from how weak she’d become. Of course she wasn’t going to tell Tom how quickly the effects started to kick in. Not even animal blood would help and since she hadn’t drank it for so long she knew she wouldn’t be able to keep it down, it wasn’t the same and it tasted horrendous.

She was hit by the smell of Tom’s blood, her gums aching as she felt her fangs appearing, she couldn’t stop herself as she flew into the living room in search of her boyfriend. She was relived when she didn’t find him, following the scent of his blood as she stumbled around confused, where was the smell coming from? He wasn’t here.

Where the smell was coming from became apparent when she saw the cup sitting on the worktop, a note underneath it. With shaky hands she took the note and tried to focus her eyes on reading, his blood overpowering everything.

‘To put you on until you can get more. I understand your struggling, sorry for distressing you, I’ve removed myself from the situation. I trust that you’d never hurt me but I have respect for your boundaries. Let me know if you need anything, I love you.

Tom x’

She knew this would be dangerous, tasting his blood. But her body was winning over her head now as she picked up the glass and drank the contents. Her light headedness only got worse, in the best way possible, she’d never had blood like it, it was the best she’d ever had. George had told her it would do, she had a strong connection with him, he always said she should be careful with him and his blood. George had been with a man once who he loved an incredible amount, he’d had a drink from him and not been able to stop, he killed him and it tore George apart. It was the one thing between her and Tom that he didn’t encourage and instead warned her against it.

She understood why now. Her body filled with worry, her blood high (the best she’d ever experienced) stopped as she came crashing back to reality. What if she could never be around him again? What if her urges had just ruined everything? She felt like she could cry as realisation set in. She texted him to thank him and told him she needed a few days, he replied in understanding and she switched her phone off.

Four days later and she was satiated, she’d drank so many blood bags, she felt dizzy but better and stronger, her usual self. George had retuned and scalded her profusely for drinking Tom’s blood, he’d even given Tom a call to tell him off for giving it to her.

“I don’t care that it wasn’t fresh!” George ranted, she could hear everything. “Don’t ever do that again.”

“George, I love you but this is none of your business.”

“Just please, don’t do it again.” George sighed as he pinched the bride of his nose and calmed down. “I’m sorry for getting so upset but you can’t do that again.”

It wasn’t until she felt fully herself that she invited him round again, George was around, somewhere in the large house they owned. Tom made his way through the door and she felt her gums aching, she felt confused, she’d just eaten. His blood invaded her senses again as her body reacted and she wanted to taste his blood again, she wanted it fresh and she felt disgusted with herself. She hugged him in greeting, her face stuffed into his neck as she breathed in his scent, an instant high hitting her.

“You okay?” Tom’s voice snapped her from her thoughts, it was only then that she realised her fangs had made an appearance and she was running them over his jugular.

“Sorry.” She said as she practically jumped away from him, Tom looked confused but didn’t question her. It was the first time he’d seen her fangs, she didn’t feed off people and didn’t have need for them. Her gums ached as a result of this whenever they did make an appearance.

She managed to distract herself for the day, coming to the conclusion that maybe it was because she’d not seen him in a while. She was doing perfectly fine, George had left, trusting her when she told him the urge had died down to what it normally was around him. It wasn’t until she was straddling him on her bed that the urge came back, her hands tangled in his hair as he ran kisses down her neck.

“Tom?” She panted out as his fingers dug into her hips. The urge was returning in full force. “Tom?” She tried again and he stopped to look at her. “I can’t. You’re blood.” She tried to explain and he shrugged.

“Go for it.” Tom said as he kissed her again. “Baby, I really don’t care. It doesn’t weird me out.” He said and her head was pounding as she took in his words. The urge making her head ache, she wasn’t even sure vampires could get headaches, she’d never had one before.

“I don’t want to hurt you.” She reasoned, she knew deep down she should be fighting him more on this but she just couldn’t, she was clouded now.

“You won’t.” He said as he kissed her forehead and something about how willingly he was giving his blood up did something to her. Her fangs reappearing for the second time that day as she buried her face in his neck, she took a deep breath.

“I love you.” She said and he returned the words before her fangs sank into his neck. The blood rush was incredible, she’d never felt it before, it didn’t push her into a frenzy. His blood tasted sweet, like nothing she’d ever experienced before, drinking it fresh was different.

“Fuck.” Tom moaned and she pulled back to look at him, stopping her feeding. It was strange, as soon as she was drinking it, her head cleared and she could think clearly. This wasn’t a normal situation, she shouldn’t be thinking clearly and he shouldn’t be moaning.

“That didn’t hurt?” She asked and he shook his head.

“Felt fucking amazing.” He clarified and it had for him, the second her teeth pierced his skin and he was injected with her venom he felt more horny and pleasured than he had in his entire life. He wanted her to do it again.

“But it isn’t supposed to.” She said, she could feel how hard he was for her, feel him straining in his jeans. “It’s supposed to hurt.” She said and Tom shrugged.

“Maybe I have a biting kink.” He joked and he ran a hand over her cheek. “Just, go with it okay?” He said, trust in his eyes, she knew this was dangerous but it was addicting. “I trust you.” He said again and she nodded, giving in. Her teeth finding his neck again as she bit back into him. She praised herself for not being a messy eater, she never was, even in her past. “Fuck me.” Tom moaned as she sank her teeth into him.

She didn’t drink like her life depended on it, not like she thought she would, she had to give herself a break every so often, his blood seemingly had the ability to make her stop. She needed a break and that wasn’t normal. She ground her hips down into his and they both moaned. They were both hornier than they’d ever been in their lives, need for each other giving them both a high they’d never experienced.

They were quick to remove each other’s clothes, Tom needing to free his cock from it’s constraints of his jeans. Her body was responding in a way she’d never experienced, she was practically dripping. Tom lifted her hips as she sank down onto him, both moaning out as he entered her, she threw her head back in a moan.

“Fuck.” She sighed out in pleasure as she began to roll her hips against his. Tom moved his lips to her neck and kissed it, his teeth grazing her skin every so often. She bit into him again as she moved her hips against him, her clit brushing up against him with every movement and she moaned into his neck. Tom didn’t want her to stop, hand lifting to keep her head where it was. They were both reaching their highs. Fast approaching.

Tom moved his hips in rhythm with her own, the most in sync sex they’d ever had. He moved his free hand down to rub her clit and her eyes rolled back into her head as she disconnected from him.

“Tom,” she moaned out and he slammed his hips up into her, she felt amazing. “I’m close.” She moaned out.

“Fuck Y/N/N, I’m gonna fucking come.” Tom moaned back and she sank her teeth into him for a final time, both of them reaching their highs as Tom shot his load into her, her orgasm ripping into her, she’d never had one like it, never experienced an orgasm like this before. She disconnected from him and threw her head back as she screamed his name, both of their orgasms lasting a while. She rode them both through their highs and felt more connected to him than she ever had.

“Are you sure it doesn’t hurt?” She asked as she ran her fingers over the two small punctures on his neck, the venom in his system meant it was healing quickly.

“Not at all.” He responded and she couldn’t help but note how strange the whole situation was.

“George? Can I ask you something?” She said the next day, Tom had to go out and run some errands.

“Of course.”

“You’ve been around longer than me, maybe you can make sense of it.” She said mostly to herself. “When you drank Jamie’s blood?” She started and he winced at the memory, he really had loved him. “I’m sorry but I promise there’s a reason I’m asking.”

“Okay.” He gestured for her to continue.

“Did it hurt him?”

“Yeah, it always does.”

“Not Tom.” She said and George looked at her in confusion.

“You fed off him?” George was confused, he was so sure he’d seen Tom walk out of the door this morning.

“Yeah and I stopped, it wasn’t hard either. It’s like I can’t get enough of his blood and then I drink it and I feel full almost.” She said and George furrowed his brows. “It might too much information but we both had the best orgasms of our lives and I have never felt more connected to him.”

“I don’t understand, you didn’t go into a feeding frenzy?”

“No, my head actually cleared when I drank it.” George sat quietly for a moment as he weighed up his next words and her reaction to them.

“You have to change him.” He said and she looked taken aback, what did this have to do with anything?

“What?”

“He’s your person, your soulmate.” George said and she burst out laughing.

“How can I have a soulmate? I don’t have a soul.” She couldn’t wrap her head around it.

“It’s rare but it happens, he’s your soulmate. Quite literally made for you. Your compatible in every way. The only time people like us know we’ve found them is because it doesn’t hurt when we feed off them. It’s only rare because well what are the chances? You have to turn him, don’t let him go.” George said and it was serious, he was being serious.

“But” she started but George cut her off.

“Just please consider it.”

She did, it’d been playing on her mind for days. The sex with Tom had almost become an addiction, they’d had sex almost twice a day since the other night. The highs they both experienced was addicting, she really didn’t ever want to give him up. She was laid on his chest as they both came down from their highs. The pros heavily outweighed the cons for her now.

She wanted him forever, she needed to let go of her worries, she loves him and she’ll be there for him, George will be there for him. He would have a better start than she did and it was what he wanted, she couldn’t refuse him any longer.

“Tom, I’ve changed my mind.”

Reblog and help a writer out! Also feedback is always appreciated, remember constructive criticism and be kind!

#tom holland x reader #tom holland x y/n #tom holland x female reader #tom holland x vampire!reader #tom holland smut

135 notes · View notes

biggest-stupidhead · 3 years

Note

Hello! This is the first time I'm ever requesting something 😂

What do you think of Captain Levi taking the weak cadet reader under his ~very~ protective wing?

Thanks!

Aw thanks for sending this in! 🥺 Personally I think that at first he’d be reluctant to get close but eventually he’d feel responsible for their safety.

Here’s a little something sweet for the kids.

Summary: Levi can’t bear to watch another kid die under his care.

Word Count: 1.8K

Warnings: mentions of past abuse and malnourishment

When the group of teens wandered into the courtyard, Levi knew that they were no different from the previous bunch. Wide eyed, heads in the clouds, loud boisterous laughter. All the innocent traits that they should’ve possessed, being only fifteen years old. So as he leaned against the stables with Hange at his side he began to wonder which of the young soldiers would come out on top.

There was a sturdy boy with bright blonde hair and a dazzling smile. He seemed strong, and just from looking at him Levi could tell that he was well versed in social cues. If he could prove himself strong enough to make it through the expeditions, he stood a chance at rising in the ranks. A girl with red hair and sharp brown eyes was looking around her new environment with a certain cagey manor that Levi recognized all too well. He figured that at least she was unlike most of her peers, more focused on the here and now, something that was vital outside of the walls. A brunette boy walked in along with the throng of kids, but his shoulders were pulled back and chin cocked upwards. It was clear that he was confident in his skills, more so than most of his peers. He noted the cuts on his knuckles and how his fellow soldiers granted him a wide berth, Levi figured that he must have been strong enough to demand the respect of his comrades.

It was only Levi’s second year with the scouts, yet he could recognize these traits with ease. Cadets were chewed up in training, spat into action and then digested by titans, well of course not literally since titans don’t digest. He hated that he could recognize those who would not make it apart from those who would.

And when he saw you, he knew that you would not be one of them. Frail and silent, almost an apparition, barely standing apart from the crowd. Levi was thrown right back into the darkest parts of his memory when he took in your malnourished state, the bones that jutted from your wrists, the way that the clothes looked too big on you. It was all too familiar, hunger had been a pain he had endured for the worse half of his life.

He couldn’t fathom why of all the regiments, you had come crawling into the corps. Your eyes were glazed over and your face held no emotion. You jumped when the blonde boy clapped you on the back, his hands rubbing your shoulders almost mockingly. If Levi strained his ears, he could just make out the boy’s words. “-I’m still surprised you came here (Y/n)! Thought for sure you’d drop out and work in the fields.” He teased as he steered you towards the red head who was glaring daggers back at the blonde and you.

“I’ve told you....I’m no quitter.” Your words were strained and clearly you had dealt with this tormenting perviously as well.

“Ah but you see I’m proud of you! Our own little runt rising in the ranks.” He clapped your back once more, causing you to stumble forward and smack into the red head who whipped around and glared at the blonde.

“Knock it off Jake, I’ll break your damn ankles if you keep messin with the lass.” Her accent surprised Levi.

“Oh come on Red, you know I’m right.” Jake pressed as he kept a domineering hand on your shoulder, guiding you forward. Levi couldn’t tell if the banter between the three, or well two of them was friendly or hostile as they marched past the stables.

“Interesting batch this one...” Hange commented as she angled her head down to speak to Levi in a somewhat hushed tone.

“Hmph, I suppose.” Levi agreed, eyes still locked on the retreating cadets.

“Since I’m a squad leader now, I think that I’ll take the blonde, he looks like he possesses a good mind.” Hange brought her knuckle to her lips to nibble the skin as her cheeks flushed with excitement. Levi rolled his eyes, he was still working directly under Erwin as a regular soldier, but he hoped to have his own team as well soon.

“You do that.” Levi grunted, pushing off of the wall to tail the cadets into the dining hall for dinner. Hange huffed in disappointment but still followed after Levi, easily catching up to him and matching his stride.

“And what about you? Erwin mentioned giving you some kids to watch, which would you like to have under your care?” Hange asked as she smirked down at Levi.

“The ones that know how to properly clean their asses.” Levi grunted as he pulled the doors open and marched straight towards the veteran’s table in the back of the room, where Nanaba, Gelgar, Mike, and Ness were already gathered. He grabbed a tray of food before dropping into an open seat next to Mike, Hange falling into the seat to his right.

“-She’s to thin I can’t believe she can even function-” Gelgar was in the middle of a rant when Nanaba smacked him in the back of the head.

“That’s no way to speak about her! God knows what she’s been through.” Nanaba’s voice was hushed and carried an edge of scolding on it as she spoke. Levi followed their gaze back to you, sitting between Jake and the red head, their shoulders brushing against yours as the three or you scarfed down the food. Directly across was the brunette, his eyes were dull and constantly roaming across the room, almost as if he was on look out duty.

“Come on Nan, look at the poor runt! I’m only speaking the truth.” Gelgar argued, your back was to them, jacket strewn across your lap, meaning that your spine could be seen, even from nearly across the room.

“Who’s going to want that responsibility? It’s like sending a lamb off to slaughter!” Gelgar continued and Mike gave a grunt in agreement.

“I’ll take her.” Levi’s voice surprised himself, the table fell quiet as they all stared at him in awe.

“What? Clearly she has some talent if she’s made it this far.” Levi grunted, lifting his tea to his lips in hopes of deterring more questions.

“How bold of you.” Hange said with a wide smile.

“Shut up shitty glasses.” He scoffed and stood, eager to find Erwin and request for the mangey runt to be in his mini squad.

Your feet kicked out in front of you, tapping harmlessly against Casper’s shins. You were eating slower than usual, feeling pressured by Jake and Carina on either side of you. Casper was dutifully keeping watch, something that he had done since you were children, the threat of loosing dinner to rabid street dogs or other children. The inner walls were only kind to those of status, you were examples of that. Casper and yourself had met on the streets and been inseparable ever since, picking up Jake and Carina in the cadet corps. Now you had a happy little family.

“What squad are you assigned to?” Jake prodded your boney ribs, spitting crumbs on you as he spoke.

“Erwin’s.” You answered, taking a chunk out of your own bread as well.

“Ahh for real? I’m with squad leader Hange.” Jake’s chest puffed out proudly and Casper rolled his eyes.

“I’m under Erwin as well.” He said, looking to Carina expectantly.

“I’m under Mike.” Carina said with her mug pressed to her lips.

“So we’ll be splitting up...” You said with a dark look on your face.

“Seems so.” Jake agreed in a light hearted manner.

“We’ll be okay.” Casper said to the group, but his eyes were locked on your own.

As it turned out, you weren’t exactly under Erwin Smith’s care. Instead you were standing in front of his prickly subordinate, shivering in the cool morning air.

“You lot will be working alongside me, when I say to do something I mean it. I don’t like repeating myself.” Levi paced up and down the row of cadets, only about five kids in total.

“You want to live, train hard and trust in your comrades.” He continued, pausing in front of a girl with blonde hair.

“Study the formations, keep your gear pristine, and care for your horse as if it was your own child.” Levi’s boots crunched on the gravel as he stopped in front of you. You were tense and your eyes were more alert than he remembered.

“Got it?” He growled and all the cadets nodded eagerly and gave him a flurry of ‘yes sirs’ .

“Yes sir.” He noticed how your jaw was locked and your shoulders were pulled back. Already he was seeing improvements.

“Good, let’s get started then.”

In the few months that you had to prepare for the expedition, you made slow progress. Putting on weight and muscle alike, all thanks to Levi. He often requested you to help him with his paper work and re shelving the books in the scout’s library. As a reward he would often gift you extra rations, you were grateful of course. But as the expedition neared it became obvious that he was not going to sign you off.

“-Captain I have to go, it wouldn’t be fair to my comrades! They need me!” You begged, hands splayed out on his desktop as he leaned back in his chair.

“Quit whining, I’m trying to spare your pathetic life.” Levi scoffed as he glared up at you.

“But sir, it’s not fair. It’s like you said, my life isn’t worth more than my comrades’.” You argued, surprised by your own stubbornness as you glowered at your superior.

“You’re right....but every human life is special in its own right. If you were to perish under my care....I’d never-”

“It’s part of the job. I signed up knowing the risks, I’m sure you did too. So....let me do what I signed up for.” Your voice mellowed out and you averted your eyes, embarrassed by the outburst.

“I won’t let you die out there. Sit this one out, work harder, gain some strength and then you can join us on the mission. If there’s one thing in this world that I hate more then filth, it would be a pointless death.” Levi rose to his feet and met your gaze once more. You couldn’t deny that you were weak, he was right, if you were to go out there now, you would surely perish.

“Fine, just this once.” Levi felt his heart float with relief, even if it was just one mission, it was still more time that he could spend on training you.

“Thank you, now get the fuck out of here.” He pointed at the door and you saluted him one last time before leaving him alone in his dimly lit office. He promised himself that he would do his best to prepare you, keep you safe, keep you alive. That was all he wanted, he knew that this was a dangerous wish, but he was determined to see it through, no matter what.

#levi squad #levi aot #levi ackerman #levi x reader #aot fanfiction #hange zoe #erwin smith #levi x fem!reader #levi x reader insert #levi x you #levi x y/n #levi ackerman x you #levi ackerman fanfiction #levi ackerman x reader #aot fandom

181 notes · View notes

ilovebokutokoutaro · 3 years

Text

Faded

Langa x reader

Warnings : self harm, mental abuse, physical abuse, crying, screaming, abandoning, depression, blood and angst and angst, not proofread.

Overview : Angst.

When your boyfriend, langa, left for japan, you knew you'd be lonely. They were your only family, you had no one except them, his father's death had hit you so hard you could kill yourself but you had to stay strong for langa. Living alone with no one by your side soon became a routine, the routine you had before you met langa, his family, they loved you.

Your father was straight up a drunkard and your mother, let's just say she opened legs for other men more than she opened her arms for you to hug or if she ever did.

You couldn't leave to stay with langa and his family, when your parents fought, resulting with you lying in your room after being hit by them, they needed to let their anger out and who was the best to blame except you? You were the reason they were both like this, they had said, hitting you over and over untill they calmed themselves down.

Your friends were worried for you, not only had langa left but also you were covered in new bruises and injuries almost every other day, barely eating or talking.

Langa called daily at first but soon his calls lied from once a week to once a month before you could comprehend anything that was happening. He would tell you everything about japan, his new friend reki, how he met so many people who skated so amazingly it was enchanting. Maybe the network wasn't so good on his side, that must be the reason he couldn't see your eyes hanging dull, your body looked like nothing but bones and skin, all the bruises, the injuries must be not so visible with a poor network.

He loved you afterall, he'd worry too much either way so it's okay. "Oh God reki is so awesome, you know y/n" and the rest you never heard your ears ringing in pain, as much as you wanted to listen to him, it hurt. The way he ignored all your well being and focused on some strangers he had met just a few months ago. it hurt so much but you couldn't speak it out, so you chose to end the call abruptly.

Sobbing into your knees, you sat on the bed feeling ever so lonely, you were starting to question everything and anything. Why were you even alive at this point, if only you died somehow. Soon it became a routine, crying till you passed out for an hour or so then getting up to go to school.

Your social media had died down to nothing, your life had died down to nothing. You were so tired of everything at this point, a murdered would stab you with a knife and you'd thank him for it. Soon langa's facetimes turned into voicecalls after your abrupt ending of the call.

You'd still receive calls from his mother but you barely picked them anymore, to say she was worried was an understatement. But langa was so busy, so happy with his life she couldn't get to tell him how worried she was for you.

you had started deeming yourself unworthy of living, of being with anyone, the mental and physical abuse from your parents only worsening to the point you couldn't breathe straight. You had switched to self harm as a coping method sooner than you had thought.

Not long before suicidal thoughts picked at your brain all the time, you were starting to fail classes, anyone could see how miserable you were, but no one ever cared enough to talk to you, or so you said, pushing everyone out.

It's been weeks since you last talked to langa, since you last went to school, choosing to burry yourself in your room instead. You parents were happier than ever, there abuse starting to get negligible, they weren't even near you anymore. your mother being pregnant with another child from your father. They were ecstatic, but you were not a part of it, the celebration stayed between them and their friends, tho your parents had started treating you better.

You found yourself falling deeper the more you struggled, your mental health declining to the point you were starting to loose all hopes in yourself. Your hate for others soon turned to hate for yourself and your self harm increased, many times your father would see your lying in you bedroom with bloody wrists, they were all worried for you, they stated, "go to therapy, y/n. We don't want to loose you" your mother sobbed to which you stayed there not moving. She hugged you, cried till you nodded your head. But therapy brought no good, just dragging you further down.

Langa had started getting worried sick and so was his mother, he had ranted about everything to his friends, whatever your friends told him. He wanted to talk to you even if once more, but you were fixed on isolating yourself more and more.

It was not long before you called langa, "I'm sorry, i was busy" you said, your voice was nothing more than emotionless and he begged you to tell him what was wrong but you stayed silent, his worry soon ending up with him screaming for you but you never answered. Not before he heard a loud crack and your parents screaming your name.

Langa stood frozen as he heard your parents cry and scream for you to wake up. He just wanted to pretend you were okay and alive. He was sitting in joe's restaurant, silently sipping the juice he was given as reki and shadow tried to distract him, suddenly his phone rang cutting off the awkward silence, and his mother told him to stay wherever he was and that she was coming to pick him up.

He just wanted to pretend you were okay, but it all came shattering down as his mother banged the door open, her face stained with tears as she fell on her knees sobbing and crying about how you had hanged yourself the day you called him, everyone remained silent, langa only sitting there not moving a muscle, oh God he wished he had stayed with you just a bit longer, called you a bit often, asked you if you were okay, he was selfish so selfish, if only he had noticed everything before maybe just maybe you would be talking to him rn.

Reki and shadow tried to comfort his mother who was now sobbing on the ground while langa just sat there frozen. He never thought a little lack of his concern could drive you to killing yourself. He wanted to blame someone and as much as he hated it he was the only right choice he found. Langa's phone pinged, a message from your mother's number. A page, stained with blood and tears, coming in his sight.

He saw your beautiful handwriting turn into nothing but a mess,

"I'm sorry, i love you i swear i do. But it was so hard living like this langa, there was no one, no one. I was so lonely so lonely, i thought cutting myself would do me any good, but it only drove me into more hunger for blood, and soon i wanted more than the stinging pain against my skin. I wanted to kill myself before i even knew it, you looked so happy when you called me that time. Stay smiling like that for me forever won't you? I'm sorry again langa i love you."

The letter was so abrupt as if you were in a hurry, as if you were dying. And he started sobbing before he knew it, surprising not only himself but everyone around him. His mother only teared up more she saw him crying. Cherry and joe desperately trying to calm the mother and son down.

It was a mess, the mess you left behind for them to handle, the mess you were going through all alone now cut short and stuck to everyone who loved you. Maybe if they all noticed sooner you'd have been here. Maybe just maybe if they told you they loved you sooner you would've been here.

..........

A/n: hey, so uhm idk i just wrote this in a flow. Just know if you, or someone you know is going through Something you can always seek help or go try to help someone, nothing you'd say to a depressed person would ever be meaningless, maybe your kindness saves a soul. Hope you all are doing fine hahhaha. Lot of angst for a day whew.

Anyway, thank you for reading🥺🥰🥰. Reblogs and likes are always appreciated 🥺☺️💜

#sk8 the infinity #sk8 angst #langa x y/n #langa angst #sk8 the infinity x reader #sk8 the infinity ff #sk8 the infinity angst

103 notes · View notes

sidespart · 3 years

Text

The Fall of King Romulus Part 3

Summary: Twin Princes Remus and Romulus are cursed at birth with Honesty and Obedience. When Romulus, who cannot disobey any order, is told to kill his brother the next time he lays eyes on him, he changes his name to Roman and runs away. Roman joins up with a misfit group of adventures and plans to never return to his homeland. But the fae have other plans for him…

Warnings (for whole fic not necessarily individual chapters): Violence, mind whammying/memory altering, curse of obedience related consent issues, references to sex, references to war related injuries/PTSD, references to child abuse/neglect (YMMV on that one but just in case), antagonstic-but-not-exactly villian!Janus, Extremly-moraly-dubious-but-not-exacty-unsympathetic-Remus

Pairings: Mostly Platonic LAMP and all the found family feels. Could be read as pre-slash.

Feedback appreciated.

NOW ON AO3 :D

Prologue Chapter 1 Chapter 2

Remus. Remus, Remus, Remus.

The mad Prince of Notaleveale.

Remus was coming here. Remus was coming to Steveange and if Romulus saw him-

Roman had to leave.

Which was easier said than done; when the streets were crowded with hoards of shoppers and revellers all pressing against him, blocking his path, stealing the air out of his lungs-

“Roman!”

He needed to go. He need to find Virgil and Patton in whatever rooms they’d managed to find, collect his belongings and-

No. That would take too long – he could replace the clothes and books, he already had his sword-

“Roman, what’re you-”

- but he needed his lute. To make any kind of living he had to be able to perform. It was the only thing he was good at and once he’d got away he’d be -

He could do it. He’d run away before. He survived alone, without anyone, he could do it again and-

“Roman! Stop!”

He stopped.

Logan. Heading towards him. But he hadn’t given a time frame and if Roman grit his teeth and pushed past the spike of pain he could start to move again in just a second-

“Wait!”

Dammit.

Roman waited. Fists clenched by his side, until Logan was next to him.

“Roman.”

His chest was tight. His brain wasn’t -wasn’t working right and Logan looked so odd, with his glasses askew and his face flushed – had he been running?

“I thought I saw Patton.” Roman blurted.

It was the first excuse that popped into his head and it was clearly not – not good enough. Logan was frowning at him, a pinched expression, studying him like an experiment and-

Roman hated him, suddenly.

Logan was an upstart swot with ideas above his station and a chip on his shoulder. He poked and prodded and lost them jobs with his terse words and his better than you attitude. He reminded Roman of the tutors who snap at him for his lack of understanding and bark orders for him to recite, repeat, remember, to be better, smarter, stronger: someone worthy of his title.

He reminded him most of all of Julius. His fathers closest advisor, who had been charged with unravelling the Princes’ curses. He was the one who had helped Romulus learn how to push against his curse. He would give him orders that were almost impossible to follow and watch with cold eyes as Romulus struggled to disobey. Together they’d categorised how much pain he could withstand, what orders could be navigated and misinterpreted and which ones he was truly helpless against.

Once, he’d bid Romulus to stand on one leg. And left him there until his muscles started to cramp and shake, waiting to see if gravity or the curse was stronger. Romulus had been in tears by the end. Had even wondered, briefly, about complaining to his parents. But is was such a silly, innocuous order compared to other experiments. What had truly upset him was how Julian had just stood there, not speaking, his eyes distant and cold and calculating as he noted down every twitch and whimper from the boy. Even when he circled him, Romulus could feel those eyes boring into the back of his neck like a-

“Princey.”

Roman blinked. Julius’ practice room disappeared, replaced with the sights and sound of the Steveange street. Logan was in front of him and his eyes were far from cold. When he spoke it was with the same gentle tone that Roman had heard him use when Virgil’s worries overwhelmed him or when Patton woke from a nightmare and didn’t know where he was.

“Did the cro- the woman. Did she say something to you?” Logan was holding his hand. Gently but firmly, he tugged at Romans tightly clenched fingers, encouraging them to unfurl. Roman stared uncomprehendingly at the deep crescent marks he’d made in his palm.

Slowly, Logan released his right hand and reached for his left, repeating the process.

Roman felt shame ripple through him.

Logan wasn’t Julius. Logan would never push him so far he broke.

Logan was his friend and Roman has made him worry with his silly behaviour and his slapdash lie. But he could fix it.

He forced a smiled. Flexed his fingers and straightened up his full height. Made a show of looking around him.

“I swear I saw him. Big man, big sword, big smile – he’s hard to mistake!”

Hesitantly, Logan glanced around too before quickly refocusing on Roman.

“Are you sure you –“

“Ah well, the mind plays trick I suppose – must be hunger getting to me, speaking of which…”

Roman reached forward and deftly snatched the bag from Logan's grasp, reaching in blindly and shoving the first pastry he found into his mouth.

“Mmmm so good!” He beamed at Logan with berry stained teeth, flakes of pastry flying through the air. “Aren’t you going to have one?”

Logan stared at him. Roman kept his smile sweet and his eyes clear. He held up the bag and wiggled it enticingly.

Hesitantly, Logan took the bag and selected a tart. Keeping his eyes on the bard the entire time, he ate his treat with much more refinement then Roman had shown. “Holding back?” Roman asked, teasing, “I’ve seen you eat jam before, there’s no point pretending to have table manners now.”

Logan just hmphed but his shoulders relaxed slightly and Roman decided to take that as a victory. “We should get going” Roman said and started walking, Logan easily falling into step beside him.

The streets were crowded enough that none of the sellers seemed to feel the need to call to Roman specifically, and so this time he was free to investigate the stalls he was actually interested in.

But instead he stayed by Logan's side

Logan was a good friend. For all he claimed to lack an understating of emotional nuances he was letting Roman have his space. He’d even distracted him earlier, when his biggest concern had been the a spike of homesickness after meeting their northern customer.

He was nothing like Julius.

Roman was going to miss him so much.

***

Roman kept up his performance of normality all the way back to the main square, where they had agreed to meet the others once their mission was done. The sky was beginning to turn dark by the time they got there, though it was easy enough to navigate from the sheer number of stalls still in operation, each one boasting its own selection of colourful lanterns.

“This is fantastic!” Roman gasped theoretically, spinning on one foot to take in the whole spectacle.

“It’s a fire hazard.” Logan muttered with a frown.

They found Virgil waiting for them by the central fountain. He had manged to find a seat on the fountains edge but was wedged between two young couples who had clearly taken the romantic festival atmosphere to heart. The healer’s shoulders were up by his ears and his cloak was wrapped so tightly around himself it looked constricting. When he saw them he sprang to his feet so quickly he almost knocked one of the young ladies into the water.

“Took you two long enough.”

Roman and Logan glanced at each other.

“Logan got lost-”

“Roman kept wandering off.”

“-We brought you baked goods!”

Virgil took one of the two remaining pastries with minimal grumbling and led them out of the square. They took the north east road, a path that curved its wary upwards into the higher levels of the city. Here the buildings were all built of a blush-pink marble that sparkled in the evening twilight. The streets were wide, with neatly arranged flowerbeds and street lights which had the steady glow of Arkazeii glow lamps rather than the flicker of oil. There were certainly no traders spread out on blankets. Logan looked distinctly unimpressed.

“Was this inn you found an…economical choice?”

“It was a ‘the whole town’s rammed and this was the only place with a room left’ choice.” Virgil snarked “and don’t worry – its one room for all four of us with no breakfast included, if you were worried about getting too… bourgeoisie…or whatever."

Logan raised his hands for peace.

“I’m sure you did the best you could.”

“Well …we were lucky.” Virgil told him, and then glanced over at Roman, his lip twitching.

“Apparently they give discounts to performers.”

***

The inn was certainly a cut above their normal haunts. With brightly painted walls almost obscured by well pruned climbing plants, outdoor seating, and a wrought iron gate leading to spacious stables behind the building. Even the doors were of better quality then your typical village tavern – made of wood heavy enough to make a satisfying crash when Roman stormed in.

The room was crowded, but Patton really was hard to miss. Roman shoved his way through to the back table where the big man sat waiting. Leaving other customers cursing in his wake.

‘Hey kiddo!’ Patton greeted him with a wide smile “Did you-“

“Key.” Roman snarled.

Patron blinked and him, shock writ large on his face. “Sorry?”

“The key. To my room. Give it.” Roman snapped. “It is mine right? Since you seem happy to pimp me out in exchange for-“

“Hey!” That would be Virgil. Roman half thought he had left both men behind in his rage after Virgil’s little announcement, but the elf at least seemed to have kept up. He’d reached the table just in time to hear the start of Roman’s rant. “What the hell is your problem Princey?”

“My problem? Oh I’m sorry, I’M not the one signing other people up to sing for their supper without permission Virgil.”

“You like singing for your – we thought you’d want to!”

“Well it would have been nice to have a choice!”

“Virgil. Roman.” That was Logan, it had taken longer for the shorter man to force his way through the crowd but he wasted no time now in inserting himself into Romans business. “whatever this is… it’s not about putting on a show.”

He turned to the other two. Virgil scowling, Patton wide eyed.

“He had an…episode in the market.”

“Excuse me?” Roman shouted.

“Roman, whatever disturbed you, you practically ran away.”

“Well perhaps I had simple grown tired of looking at your face? Had you considered that?”

He turned his back to Logan, rounding on Patton again: “Now, give me the-“

Patton already had his hand out, wrought iron key resting loosely in his palm.

“We’re on the fourth floor.” he said calmly as Roman snatched it from him. “First door once you get up the stairs.” Roman spun on his heel only to find Virgil blocking his path.

“Move.” Roman hissed.

“What is wrong with you?” Roman narrowed his eyes. Virgil looked angry. Looked one second away from telling him to sit down, shut up, stop causing a fuss. He wondered if he could get past him without using his sword.

“I’ll bring you up some food in a bit,” Roman blinked glancing back at Patton, startled. The warrior still hadn’t moved from the table - admittedly no easy task in the cramped corner- and was looking at him calmly.

“I don’t want anything” Roman muttered, sullen.

“But you might later.” Patton smiled at him. Not knowing how to respond Roman turned back to Virgil. The elf glanced between the two, chewed on his bottom lip for a moment, before sighing and stepping to the side. Not fast enough to prevent Roman from knocking his shoulder with his own as he pushed past however.

It wasn’t as satisfying as he hoped.

At a guess, the room was normally meant for storage not guests. Two rickety looking beds had been shoved in, so close together they might as well have been one. There was one small table forced between the end of one bed and the wall, with a basin of water perched on top. Someone, presumably Patton, had organised their bags neatly at the end of the beds. Roman’s was at the far end, closest to the window. Then Patton, then Virgil with Logan closest to the door, next to the only built in shelf where a candle had been left for the night. Roman would be able to wake with the dawn, as he liked to do, and Logan would have light for the longest to stay up and read.

Romans lute was not on the floor with his pack. Instead he found in had been placed on the bed itself, propped up on his pillow, away from any potential harm.

Whatever righteous anger he had been able to hang on too as he stomped upstairs dropped out of him now like a stone from a cliff. Without it, the despair he had felt in the market came rushing back. He sank down right there by the door, bringing his knees up to his chest as he’d done in the forest. As he used to do in Julius’ room.

He almost wished Julius was here – at least he would tell him not to cry.

The through was so absurd he let out a weak snotty laugh and buried his head in his arms.

He needed to leave Steveange.

He didn’t want to leave them.

But they had planned to stay for a week at least, hopefully longer.

Convince them to leave early? Except he couldn’t explain why. Find them a job out of the city? How? When the coronation and accompanying celebrations were over it would be easy enough to find a traveling group in need of a little extra protection, but for now no one was leaving.

They’d been excited to come. Virgil want to try the city baths, famed for their heated pools and soothing water. Logan had been talking about the library for half the trip. Patton was just excited to explore the city itself, meet the people and try the food. He loved when they stopped in busier towns but it was a rarity.

There was no way Roman would be able to convince them to leave just because he wanted to.

Roman did what other people wanted. It was all he knew how to do.

And even if he had a convincing reason…well, they probably didn’t want him around anymore anyway.

He scrambled up, grabbed the first pillow he could reach and buried his face in it to muffle a scream of frustration which turned into more sobs.

He was so pathetic.

Since he’d left home, he’d kept his memories, kept Romulus, buried as deep as he could. But now it was like Romulus was just under his skin. Ready to jump out If he let himself slip. With all his anger and hurt and fear.

Romulus was a liability.

Romulus was a murder. Or would be. If Roman couldn’t think.

He stepped over to his pack, still hugging the pillow to him like a teddy bear, and started to review the contents. He didn’t need to take all of this with him, surely? Half of it wasn’t even his, their belongings having become more and more intertwined the longer they travelled.

The healing salve was rightfully Virgil’s, the soft shirt he wrapped himself in during cold nights was actually Patton’s, at least one of the notebooks belonged to Logan.

He opened the nearest book to check, but instead of Logan's neat lists his own sloppy scrawl stared back at him. Song lyrics and passing thoughts and, on the next page, an unfinished sketch. It was of Virgil, hand covering his mouth but eyes betraying his laughter. The other pages, he knew contained scribbles of all three of them. He flicked back and found his favourite, the page marked with a yellowed leaf he couldn’t remember picking up.

It showed all three in one sketch. Logan, sleeping and so looking years younger, head pillowed on Virgil’s thigh. Virgil was turned towards Patton, rolling his eyes as if to say ‘can you believe this?’ but making no move to actually shift scholar off him. Patton was laughing, he was the most well rendered of the three figures, you could almost see his shoulders shaking.

Roman looked at it for a moment. Then slowly replaced the book mark and closed it. This would have to come with him.

A knock at the door startled him so badly he dropped the book, which bounced under the bed.

“Kiddo? Can I come it?”

Fuck.

Patton. He had -he had been so, so unbelievably rude to Patton.

His first instinct, which was admittedly not a good one, was to jump out of the window.

Roman took a deep breath. Focusing on the mundane task of sorting items had cleared his head somewhat. He was still a little shaky but his eyes were dry. He knew what would be expected of him now - Romulus had spent most of his life apologising.

“Come in.” he croaked and stood, squaring his shoulders.

Patton entered alone, two bowls of something that smelled delicious cradled in his arms.

Roman ignored the sudden spike of hunger – the fruit tart seemed a long time ago now- and bowed from the waist. He kept his back ramrod straight and bent low enough that it quickly became uncomfortable. It was the kind of bow Romulus would only have given his father or elder brother.

“Patton, I owe you my most humble apology I-“

“Roman I am so sorry.”

“The way I spoke to you was the height of disrespect and unprin- ungentlemanly behaviour I – wait, what?”

He straightened up and looked at Patton, confused. “Why are you sorry?”

“Roman, I – wait hold on.” Patton handed him one of the bowls and turned to close the door. “Do you mind if we sit?” he asked and Roman nodded, smiling despite himself. Patton was the politest person he had ever met.

Once they were both seated, Patton’s bad leg stretched out in front of him, Patton looked at him seriously.

“Roman you were right downstairs. We should never have promised you’d perform without asking you first - no it's true!”

But Roman was already shaking his head. “Patton you were fine, you know I love singing! I was the one acting like, like some sort of beast I-“

“I know you love singing but that doesn’t mean we get to pick and choose when-“

“But I wanted to perform as much as possible whilst we were here- I’d told you that!”

“-especially after travelling all week. We were, er, presumptuous.”

Roman stared at him.

“Unlike this soup, which is pre – scrumptious.”

Patton beamed at him. Roman groaned.

“Anyway I’m sorry for letting you stew-“ he held up the bowl again waggling his eyebrows “- up here for so long, but we needed to make things right with the landlord.”

Roman, who had been starting to relax under the force of two puns in a row, tensed again. “What things?”

Patton smiled. “We paid the difference – you don’t have to perform! Uhh unless you want to of course, but it’s your choice.” He nodded decisively whilst Roman gaped.

“b-but isn’t it expensive?”

Patton just shrugged, “Well, the last job paid well didn’t it?”

“Not that well!”

“Aw c’mon kiddo, what’s the point of having money if we don’t spend it? Right?”

Not knowing what to say. Roman shoved a spoonful of stew into his mouth without tasting it. Guilt turning the meal to ash.

“Patton…how many days did you pay for?”

“The rest of the week! And there’s still enough to have some fun at the markets, don’t worry, we can all have a – hey!” Patton put his bowl down, shuffling closer to put one warm hand on Roman’s knee.” Roman, hey kiddo, buddy what’s wrong?”

Roman found, quite to his surprise, that he was trembling. He followed Patton's example and put the bowl carefully on the floor before digging the heels of his hands into his eyes. “I…can’t Pat. I can’t stay here. I have to go.”

“Go?” Patton looked at him with confusion clear in his big brown eyes, “But why kiddo? You don’t like the inn?”

Roman groaned shaking his head “not the inn. The city. I’m not – I can’t – if ‘m here it- “ he let out a whine of frustration, hating his curse heavy tongue.

Never tell anyone about our conversation.

“I just-“ My brother is coming and if I see him I-

“If – “ my brother is coming and he won’t be alone. There are people who know who I really am and I –

“Okay.”

Romans head snapped up.

Patton still had a frown on his face but when he looked at Roman his eyes were as serious as Roman had ever seen them. “If you can’t tell me the details it’s fine but-“ he lent forward, “Roman, are you safe here?”

Without breathing, Roman shook his head. No.

Patton nodded and squeezed his knee. “Well then of course we’re not staying.” Hesitantly, he lifted his arm and rested one large hand on the back of Romans neck. Forcing their eyes to meet. “Whatever it is – we will help you. You know that don’t you?”

Embarrassingly, Roman felt his eyes filling with tears.

“We’ll leave in the morning.” Patton told him. Patton stood up, taking Romans congealing stew and his own empty bowl and headed to the door. He paused, one hand on the door handle. “Everything’s going to be okay kiddo.” he smiled, “We love you.”

And he was gone.

For a long moment Roman sat frozen, staring at the closed door.

“Yeah.” He agreed, eventually. “Right.”

Except. They didn’t. Not really.

They loved Roman.

Roman had screamed and insulted them and instead of kicking him out of their group like they had every right to do, they had given up what little money they had just to make Roman feel better.

And Roman was a lie.

Roman was Romulus with a bad haircut. And Romulus was everything they weren’t’ – a stupid, pampered, prince with no power or pride.

Patton might be willing to upheaval their lives just on Roman's say so, But Logan and Virgil were more practically minded. They would want explanations. Might even demand them.

Never tell anyone about your curse. Remove yourself from anyone who might ask you about it and put as much distance between you as you can.

Romulus was a liability.

One they shouldn’t have to deal with.

He strapped his lute to his back and secured his dagger in a hidden pocket that Virgil had taught him how to sow. Everything else he left, including, after a moments hesitation, his sword. He had been training Logan to use it, on and off, and whilst the scholar was no solider he was improving. At the very least, it would be some source of protection until they could hire another swordhand for their travels.

The climbing plants he had noticed on the way in made getting down from the window much easier than he had originally anticipated. Dusting off his hands he skirted the building, taking care to avoid the large windows of the main hall, until he found the entrance to the the stables.

He wasn’t proud of it, but he had stolen before when he first left home. He would have to again now in order to put some distance between the city and himself.

It wasn’t his worst plan.

And it might even have worked, had they not already been waiting for him.

When Romulus was eleven, and had taken to following the young Marquis de Orenlla around like a love sick puppy. Even now, under the weak light of a covered lantern and with almost fifteen years distance from the memories, he still recognised him instantly.

“Good evening, your highness.” The Marquis smile was as dazzling as he remembered, although his eyes were colder.

He had no army with him, and no weapon that Roman could see. But then, why would he need one?

“Come with me.”

Roman went.

part 4

#sanders sides #sanders sides fic #roman sanders #logan sanders #patton sanders #creativitwins #this chapter is just #roman having an extended panic and making piss poor decisions #but also having great friends #alas #sidespart writes #TS: Fall of Romulus

190 notes · View notes

wolfish-trickster · 3 years

Text

Liar

Loki x female!reader

Part 2 (I wanted the first part to be only oneshot, but since a lot of you asked so nicely)

Word count: 2,5K

Warning: angst, fluffy doggie

Tag list:@gaitwae @lucywrites02 @hard-to-be-the-bard @birdgirl90 @laramoonworld @mascaracoffee @serebrum @myworldgoesboomz @lokis-leah @belovedadam @getyoutmoon

You heard him through your door shouting your name, begging you to listen to him, to let him inside to talk to you. You didn't. Your hands tried to cover Rex's ears. Poor pup, he started shivering from all of that shouting and was clinging to you for dear life.

When Loki became quiet for few minutes you kinda expected him to kick the door, call you a bitch and leave. But nothing like that happened. Instead hard footsteps started leaving your door. You were alone once again, feeling more hollow than ever.

Sun hasn't even risen yet when you exited the Tower with Rex on the leash. You spent big part of the night making your little friend used to the feeling of being on string and he was already eager to try it out outside your room. You haven't met anyone on your way out, thank heavens.

It started to dawn when you finally got to the park you've been in yesterday. First rays of sun tickled you on your cheeks. Rex was running around, sniffing and marking every tree, chewing on grass and lower parts of benches. You threw him some branches and cones and giggled when he tripped over his small paws. He was so full of life. Unlike you.

You missed Loki. You hated him for what he did, true. But you still missed him. He was so desperate to explain, to make up with you. But you couldn't let him manipulate you anymore. You almost believed him when he called you 'love' and stayed at your door, pleading to be let in.

Almost.

Now that your dog was freshened up after a morning walk, both you and him deserved breakfast. You didn't feel any hunger, but you still needed to put something into you. Even if it will taste like sand in your mouth.

The elevator dinged on the floor containing living room and kitchen. You prayed Loki wasn't there. He wasn't, but you were greeted by another god instead.

Thor was sitting at the table, he had his back to you, but you knew he heard you coming. Rex excitedly ran towards him and started sniffing his leg. You gently pulled him backwards a little.

"Morning," you greeted, your voice a little less cheerful like it used to be.

Thor swallowed anything he was chewing and turned towards you. "What did you do to Loki?"

Of course he had to go and complain to his big bro. "None of your business," you retorted and tied the end of the leash around one of the chairs. You knew if you let your pup go you would have to chase him around the whole New York.

"It is my business. He is my brother-"

"Adoptive," you reminded him his own words he once said the first time you met.

"-adoptive brother. But still mine. Y/N, you used to be so close, why did you lash out on him like that?"

You rolled your eyes. "He deserved it," you started to pour water into kettle.

"He deserved it how?"

"Look, I know what are you going to think when I tell you the truth. But frankly, I don't care. He betrayed me- no, he lied to me. Our whole friendship was a damn game to him. I was a damn game to him. He manipulated me, played the poor sad victim of abusive father so I could get him out of the prison. Which I did! I was so stupid. You were right, all of you were right and I was wrong. He's a villain who can't be trusted," when you ended your rant you realized you gathered enough water for two cups of tea out of habit. You poured half of the kettle down the sink.

"And why do you think he did all of that?" Thor asked

You gulped down the lump creating in your throat upon remembering his words. "I heard him," you whispered loud enough for him to hear.

While the water was heating up you filled Rex's bowel with some canned meat and put it infront of his little snout.

"You must've heard wrong then."

"And how can you be so sure? You weren't even there!" water started bubbling.

"I know Loki better than anyone in this building," he pointed at his chest.

"Well, you know him wrong, just like I did! I trusted him and he-"

"He trusted you back! With his own life!"

"No," you sniffed. "He did not. And I see it now. All those nice things he did, all those hugs and gifts. He did all of it so I could trust him more," you turned away from him. "I don't know why he's still keeping up the 'good guy' facade. He knows I found out. Does he really think me so stupid to fall for his trick again?" a tear or two escaped your eyes.

"He doesn't. I have known him his whole life Y/N, he's not that kind of a person. He is genuenly sorry."

"Then why isn't he here? Why isn't he telling me he's sorry? Did he make you fix his mistake?" you asked a little too tetchily.

"Y/N, I-"

"Y/N! My dear, you are up earlier than I expected," Thor's voice came from behind you. The one in front of you, did a facepalm, pain on his face. "It is a nice sight to wake up to," the Thor behind you winked, but stopped in his tracks when he saw the other Thor hiding his face in his big palm.

You turned to the facepalming Thor. "Loki, you nasty bastard!" your hand was twitching to throw still burning kettle at his head as he let the illusion vanish, but you didn't want to scare Rex.

"Y/N, listen to me," he took a stwp forward, you step backward and your lower back hit the counter.

"And why should I?! You lied again! How am I supposed to trust you after all your lies?!"

"Technically I didn't lie, you never asked if I was the real Thor," there was his silvertongue again.

"Fuck you and your sarcasm, Laufeyson," you never wished for a puppy to finish eating more than now. All you wanted to do was pick him up and hide in your room again.

"Whoa, is this about the yelling we heard yesterday?" Thor asked.

"You heard it?" you couldn't have been so loud, could you?

"Yelling yes, topic no."

"Oh, so he didn't boast?" you glared back at the trickster god.

"No, I am a big boy, I can fix my own problems without pouring my heart out to anyone. So to answer your previous question: no, I did not make Thor fix my mistake. And for your second question: I am here now, and I am willing to apologize, even though I did nothing wrong, technically."

"Yeah, technically you only broke my trust and my heart," you took your cup of tea in one hand, put Rex's bowel in the sink and untied his leash with the second hand.

He ran before you and held you by your shoulders. "Technically I was doing what I had to."

"Yes, getting some gold digger drunk and getting in her pants is something you had to do," you tried to walk by him but his grip was firm.

"No, you misunderstood the whole situation. It was part of a mission. She was a mistress of one retired agent of hydra and she allegedly had some useful info. Tony thought that with my charm and silvertongue I could make her give it to us," his eyes seemed to tell the truth.

"And how did your conversation turn to me, huh?"

He sighed. "She saw my lockscreen and asked who was the girl on it. I had to lie. I had to tell her all those filthy lies to convince her I truly want her. My tongue burned the whole time, believe me."

You looked at him, long and hard. A sad chuckle escaped your lips. "You are a master at lying, I give you that. And this one," you slipped from his grasp, "was well thought out."

You ran to your room, leaving both brothers bewildered in the kitchen. When you closed the door behind you and let Rex go off his leash, that's when you broke. You fell down toyour knees and started crying. How could you be so stupid to fall for one of his tricks again?

You felt Rex's little tongue licking salty trials from your cheeks, his wet cold nose nudging your face. He brought you one of his squeeky toys and showed you how to play with them. He was doing anything to cheer you up.

This little guy knew you for only a day and a half and he already loved you with his entire being. The stranger in park was right, dog really is man's bestfriend.

You played with your pup. You didn't have enrgy to do anything more productive. He already understood the concept of retrieving and he always came running back to you with any toy you threw him.

When it was time for lunch, you put a leash on Rex and using secret staircases and halls to avoid kitchen and any common areas you got out. On your way to the park you bought yourself something to eat.

Rex smelled the meat in the food and stood up on two legs, begging for a treat. One does not simply resist his puppy eyes.

When you entered through the gate circling the park you spot a big familiar golden retriever. Ollie.

He recognised you and was dragging his owner by his leash towards you. The owner recognised you too. "Hello there, do you remember me?"

"Of course I do. As well as this pretty boy," you patted Ollie on the head. Rex got jealous and instead of greeting a fellow canine he tugged your jean with his tiny needle-like teeth. You scratched him behind his ears. "But of course, you are much prettier boy," as if he understood the praise he puffed his tiny chest and looked very pleased with himself.

"I see you followed my advice," the man pointed at your dog.

"Yeah, and you were right. He did make everything a little better. At times," you smiled sadly.

"Don't worry, time heals everything," he put his hand on your shoulder sympatheticly.

"I hope so," you sighed.

"By the way, seems like we are becoming dog buddies. Wouldn't it be good to know each others' names?" he changed the subject.

"Yeah, I suppose it would," you held out your free hand. "Y/N."

He took it. "Max."

You convinced Max to stay out with you as long as he could. You really didn't want to return to Tower anytime soon. You made at least 4 rounds around the enormous park, Rex gave up walking after the thrid one and you had to carry him.

Max told you how he got cheated on in more detail. How it resoluted in a big fight, flying plates and broken bottles. You told him your own situation. You had to change few details, so he wouldn't find out you are an Avenger.

"What do you think Max? Should I trust him?"

"Honestly? I don't know. He did sound like a cool guy until you got to the whole 'gold digger' part. Do you want to trust him?"

Your eyes studied dirt below your boots. "Yes, he was my closest friend. And I miss him. But I can't let myself be his toy again. I don't want him to hurt me," you hugged Rex tighter to your chest and he started licking any piece of skin he could reach, mainly your neck.

"He sounded like he was really sorry. I would try to reason with him and talk to him more, but I can't tell you what to do."

You hummed. Your bag started to buzz. You fished out your phone and looked at the icon. It was blank, but the caller ID was called 'Loki'. You made few changes at night and deleted the old selfie.

"Speak of the devil," you reluctantly picked up. "What do you want?"

"To show you a proof," his voice sounded tired and emotionless. A little hoarse.

"Why are you still trying?" you asked, tiredness evident in your voice too.

"Because I don't want to loose you. Please, just this once. Let me show it to you, and then you are free to leave. For good," he really sounded defeated. If you didn't know better you would run to him and hugged him tightly.

You pondered it a little. It could be another trick. Eventually you gave in. "Fine, I'll be there in 10 to 15 minutes," you hung up and turned towards Max. "I'm sorry, I have to go. It was great talking to you!"

"You too. Good luck!"

"This better not be one of your tricks," you entered Bruce's second lab, just as Loki instructed. He was sitting at one of Bruces desks behind a big monitor. "It isn't, trust me."

"That's something that's really hard to do," you glared.

He hid his hurt and pressed play. A video from security cameras was playing. With audio as well. You saw him pouring red wine fro him and the woman. She wasn't blond how you imagined her but the rest of her looked exactly like in your head: plastic.

Few flirts were exchanged and then you heard the part you were already familiar with. Your heart hurt and you felt Rex rub himself on your leg.

He was telling the truth. When she said what they wanted to hear, Loki touched her forhead and she stood up and left as if nothing ever happened.

He turned the video off and turned to you. You didn't know how to react. You were so glad he didn't mean those words he said. But hearing them still hurt.

"Loki, I know what you said wasn't truth, and I really want to trust you again. But..."

He hung his head. "I understand. Being friends with a liar is risky as it is," he stood up and walked toward glass doors.

'Move! Tell him something! Anything! Tell him you're sorry! Tell him you want to be friends again!' your mind screamed at you. You opened your mouth, but no words left it. You felt paralyzed.

Before he could exit completely, he turned towards you and smiled, though his eyes were hollow and wet. "He does deserve the 'best friend' title more than me," his voice broke in the middle of the sentence and left, before you could hear his heart breaking anew.

Part 3?

#loki #loki odinson #loki x reader #loki angst #loki x reader angst #im sorry

145 notes · View notes

hepaidattention · 3 years

Text

pipe cleaner

where Lydia and Stiles live six hours away from each other their first year in college and hate it and also Scott needs help with the pack, but they make it work - they always do. oh also its their meetaversary.

warning: occasional cursing because I can’t believe impulsive Stiles Stilinski didn’t use fuck on a regular basis

Lydia lied across her bed, head rested on her pillow, ankles crossed, and hands folded and placed perfectly on her stomach. She was waiting, patiently she might add. She let out a long sigh as she observed her ceiling. She wished it was those god ugly popcorn ceilings just for the entertainment of deciding shapes out of the little bumps - she used to do that in Stiles' room, all those times they’d say they were studying but it always turned into his long rants about his next hunch or scheme. Sometimes, when he got too stressed, she would pull him on the bed with her and tell him to tell her the first shape he saw. It was almost always something silly, or sarcastic, but it grounded him - it helped him when he was on the verge of a panic attack as well. One time she asked him what they looked like to her and he laughed a little. She asked him what it was and he said, "They kinda remind me of all the moles taking over my face."

She looked at him, getting a perfect view of the most prominent ones. She loved his freckles and moles, they made his face so unique. Then he said, "One of these suckers will be the death of me, just you wait. I'll spend years surviving werewolves and werecoyotes and murder spree sacrifices and nogistune possessions, all to die from mole cancer at the sour age of 60."

"Don't say that," Lydia felt a twinge in her chest from the thought.

"What, why?" He turned his head to face hers, laughing still about it.

"Because I don't want to think of a world like that," she bit her bottom lip, then twisted her neck back to face the ceiling. "A world where you're dead." is what she wanted to say, but instead she finished with, “I can’t handle anymore death.”

Stiles’ mouth was gaped open - he was looking at her like he’d just seen the sun for the first time. She recognized it as ‘Lydia actually cares about me’ face, because he made it a lot when she ever said anything nice to him. He closed his mouth, finally, then he grabbed her hand, giving it a light squeeze before letting go. With that he whispered, "Well thankfully you don't have to. Can't get rid of me that easily, now can you?"

Lydia found tears running down the side of her face and into her perfectly curled hair. They were bittersweet tears - loving the memories of the happy past, but missing them so severely it brought a deep pain in her chest. She wiped the tears from the memory and looked at her phone. 8:35. She sighed again, her fingers now tapping less patiently and more impatiently on her abdomen. 5 minutes late was on time for Stiles, but it didn't keep her from worrying.

God she missed him. She thought back to the first day she actually acknowledged Stiles Stilinski. She was on her bed at home, not here in this dorm, and yes she always knew who he was - it was almost impossible not to know the sheriff's son. The Stilinski the teachers always yelled at, the trouble maker goofball all the lacrosse players made fun of behind his back. She met Stiles in 3rd grade, with his over worn Power Rangers shirt as he stared at her across class all day. However, in her room was the first day she learned his name. Like really learned it; at least cared to remember it. She was high on whatever drugs she took for her anxiety and all she remembered was a sweet Stiles coming to check on her. He was the only one who ever checked on her. The only one (other than Allison obviously) out of the entire school to come and make sure she was okay.

Now she was lying on her bed, waiting for him to call her on the phone, wishing she could just see his mole-covered face in person for the first time in these excruciating months. She wanted to hug him; kiss him; hold his hand.

She let out a loud sigh and picked up her phone, checking the time again. 8 minutes late. It was 8 minutes Lydia, calm down. Stiles hardly ever even remembered what day it was, his concept of time was always off. She laid it back down on the bed and stared back at the ceiling. 2 more minutes passed and she sat up, bringing her phone with her. Maybe she should just call him. It was his turn tonight, but he could've fallen asleep. His sleep schedule had been ridiculous lately, his internship keeping him up at strange hours of the day and night.

She pulled up his contact and started to press the green little phone button when Incoming Call appeared on her screen. It was an unknown number. She answered anyway, falling back into the bed as she said, "Hello?" She said it with mystery, wondering if assuming it was Stiles was too hopeful.

"Uh yes hi," Stiles said on the other side of the phone. He sounded weird, like he was trying to make his voice deeper. "I'd like to order a pizza,"

She smiled to herself, deciding to play along, "Sorry sir, you have the wrong number. This is a supernatural crisis hotline, are you experiencing anything supernaturally distressing at the present?"

She could hear him chuckle to himself, practically hear the smile curving up mouth: "That depends on what you define as supernaturally distressing."

"Hm, well," she flipped on her side, her arm propping up her head, "Are you being haunted?"

"Mmm, by hunger, yes,"

She shook her head, even though he couldn't see her. "Sorry, hunger doesn't qualify as a supernatural occurrence. Have you been bitten by a supernatural being or perhaps burst into flames without explanation?"

"God no," he paused, then, "but I might do that exploding thing if I can't order a pizza."

She might explode if she can't see him. "Well, if that happens then feel free to give us a call back." She missed his face. She wished he had facetimed her. "Why did you call me anyway? You usually FaceTime,"

"God, pizza places say the weirdest things sometimes. If you wanted to ask me out then all you had to do was ask."

"Stiles, I'm serious," she whined, "what happened to your phone?"

He sighed, but it wasn't an aggravated kind, it was just his normal restless sigh that said "no one ever enjoys fun like I do." "I…." He hung on the "I" like he was thinking of a lie, "left it at home after leaving in a rush,"

She glanced at the clock and frowned. "Where were you going in such a rush? It's almost 9 at night?"

"Well I had to catch an early train so I could pick up my pizza," before Lydia could figure out what that meant he said, "then I changed my mind on the train - you know there's just something about train stations that give me the heebie jeebies. Can't quite put my finger on it."

"Hm, maybe it's the 3 months of purgatory imprisonment thing," she was smirking to herself now, wondering why she ever went along with his ridiculous jokes. "Erased from existence can really put a number on a person."

"Nah, that's not it," she knew he was smiling. There was something about how his voice got higher when he was smiling, when he was truly, wholly happy. "I mean 3 months? 3 months is nothing."

She could tell he was walking now. It sounded like he was entering a building of some sort, she could hear every breath he walked like it was an incline. "Is that so?"

"Yeah I mean, now a year? A year is a long time. Even longer would be something like, you know, 10 years or so.. That's something to really put a number on a person...or say, a banshee."

She bit her bottom lip, hoping he'd remembered. "A banshee huh? Sounds kinda supernatural to me, maybe you should try this hotline I know about."

"Depends on your definition of what a hotline is." He took a big step, almost like a leap.

"Well, there's a phone line,"

"Right, yeah, implied by the line part, right."

"And the person on the other end of that line is really hot."

"Hm," another leap. What was he doing? "Sounds dirty." Then she could have sworn she heard an elevator door ding open.

Her brows furrowed, "Stiles, you never told me who's phone this is,"

"Oh, this? It's the pizza guys."

Lydia sat up then, her expression purely puzzled now. "The pizza guys?"

"Well yeah, how else was I supposed to call you?"

Stiles Stilinski had officially lost his mind, she decided. "Stiles, you could have just waited to call me until you got back home. You didn't need to steal some guy's phone,"

He cracked up laughing, "Who said anything about stealing? You hear that? She thought I stole your phone haha …. Dude I'm gonna give it back relax, okay? Geesh, just take a deep breath or something buddy," She heard some voice on the other end, it was muffled but she assumed it was the pizza guy.

"Stiles…" She dragged out his name just like she always did when he had a huge scheme cooked up but was still in the works of sharing it. "What are you up to?"

"Why would you think I'm up to something?”

She huffed, irritated, "Because you're always up to something."

"Valid point - oh oh right here right here, yeah yeah yeah," she listened carefully, hoping to be given any clue of where the hell her boyfriend was. Then Stiles abruptly said. "Gotta go Lyds, I have a pizza to deliver,"

She was so so so so confused. "To who? Stiles Stilinski, what are you up to?"

"Okay love you bye!"

He hung up on her. She didn't even get to say it back. He knew how much she hated it when he hung up before she could say it back. She was angry now. She silently screamed and was seconds from throwing her phone on the pillow when a knock resonated through her dorm door. Lydia checked the clock again. It was minutes from 9, why was anyone at her door?

Lydia angrily got up from her seat, the fact that Stiles didn't even really mention their anniversary was making her fume. She marched to the door and slung it open, fully ready to see one of the annoying freshmen from down the hall ask for toilet paper again (as if their RA couldn’t help with that)..

However, it wasn't some freshman. Instead, it was a pizza delivery man. He looked so annoyed, and his expression had nothing on it but disdain. Lydia poked her head out the door, looking both ways to see if Stiles was anywhere - but he was nowhere to be seen. The pizza guy opened the box and it was her favorite kind of dessert pizza - a chocolate drizzle spelling out "happy meetaversary - love Stiles"

She was still annoyed, but touched. The guy handed her the pizza, mumbled something about already being paid, and walked away. She noticed his cell phone in his back pocket - she was truly so confused. She closed the door, staring at the pizza in her hand - what was he up to? His couldn't just be it - it was Stiles. He loved to go out of his way to-

"You're gonna share that right?"

Lydia about leaped out of her body and ascended into the heavens. It was a miracle the pizza was still in her hands as she fell back into the door, her heart pounding hard, and her eyes staring straight at Stiles lying across her bed. His ankles were crossed, (shoes off because he was smart), his arms were folded behind his head as if he'd been there all day.

"Stiles," she was holding her chest, her heart racing. "What. The. Hell." She looked at his goofy grin and his stupid plaid shirt and dear god, she realized just how much she missed him. He got up from the bed, looking apologetic. However, instead of apologizing, he said sheepishly, "I couldn't wait for Christmas break?" He was scratching the back of his neck and his smile was crooked and without another thought she sat the pizza down on her desk and dove straight in to kiss him.

He pulled back after a minute to talk, because that was something he could never stop doing: “I’m guessing pizza was better than flowers? I almost got flowers but I just didn’t feel like flowers was the way to go, you know? Flowers are safe, predictable, but pizza-”

“Stiles,”

He clamped his lips closed, a smile sneaking behind his adorable lips, “Shut up?”

“No, actually,” she laughed, brushing the side of his cheek with her thumb. She had missed every single part of this man. “I was just going to say thank you.”

“Yeah?” his voice almost squeaked. It was one of her favorite things, when his voice went up just slightly as if she still made him nervous. “‘Cause I just spent six hours in a car hoping to god you would actually like this kind of surprise.”

She just hugged him then, so tight she wouldn’t be surprised if air was hard for him. Through his shirt she mumbled, “The only kind of surprise I would ever be okay with is you.”

“I bet you say that to all the guys,” he teased her, hugging her back almost just as tight. “Happy meetaversary, Lyds.”

She didn’t let go. Letting go might mean he’d have to go back home, one day, somewhere down the road. “Happy meetaversary, Stiles. I can’t believe I’ve known you for eleven years.”

He kissed the top of her head, not wanting to let go either: “I guess we can say that my ten year plan was fool proof.”

She looked up then, her lips pursed as she looked up at her goofy smiling boyfriend, “Are you saying you started your 10 year plan in the 3rd grade?”

“Well, I mean then it was like a week's worth of a plan,” he stretched out his mouth, making that expression that showed all his teeth like he was in distress. It always made her smile. He always made her smile. “It was revised to a more realistic game plan.”

“Well,” she pulled back just slightly, her hands resting on his hips, “What’s the game plan now?”

“Uhhh,” Stiles ran a hand over his face and stretched an eyebrow, “well I mean, I … I’m already dating you, so ... nothing?”

Lydia rolled her eyes at him, wagging her head as she said, “No you dummy, the game plan for the weekend?”

“Oh! Right, of course, game plan for the weekend,” he pulled away from her, making her arms feel suddenly cold without his embrace. He grabbed the pizza and came back in front of her, his eyebrows wiggling up and down his forehead. “That is a surprise. For right now, desert.”

She hated surprises, she really did, but she really meant it when she said that if Stiles was involved - she could love absolutely anything. She tiptoed up and pecked a kiss on his cheek, her face beaming as she said, “You’re the best,”

He shook his head, standing his ground, “Nope, I’m not gonna tell you - not this time.”

She grabbed the pizza from him and shrugged, “Okay,” she opened the pizza box as Stiles looked at her like she was a different person entirely. “As long as the day’s with you, I don’t care what we do.”

He raised one brow up his forehead, “Not one care?”

“Nope,”

“Not even the slightest flicker of concern? Not even a tingle of wanting control?”

“Stiles,” she pulled out the piece that said “love Stiles” on it, readying herself to eat, “you planned out a ten year scheme to date me as a 3rd grader and succeeded. Clearly, I have no room to doubt your superior game planning abilities.”

“Right,” he stood there, watching her closely. She smiled at him and sat down at her bed so she could eat. He ran a hand through his hair and sighed, “Right.”

“You wanna tell me don’t you?”

He landed beside her on the bed, making her bounce up a little as he said, “Please can I tell you? You’re gonna love it and I can’t wait to see your face when I tell you how mind-blowingly perfect this game plan really is-”

“Stiles,”

“Hm?” he licked his top lip, his leg propping up his arm as he looked at her with the utmost attention. “Oh right, shut up -” he gave her a thumbs up, “you got it.”

“If I wanted you to shut up I would do this,” she kissed him firmly on the lips, then pulled back quicker than either would have liked. She was making a point right now though, they could do more kissing after she ate her food.

“Then what -” he blinked like he was trying to drag himself back to earth, “what were you gonna say?”

“I just missed you,” she combed a gentle hand through his once gelled hair, her fingers tracing his freckles shaped like constellations - her own, made up, better than the original ones.

Stiles gave her that look that just made her knees weak every time. It was the same look he gave her when she first kissed him that day in the locker room. The same look he gave her when he saved her from Eichen House. The same look he gave her on homecoming, or in the hospital later that week, or every single time she was in the hospital and he came to see her before anyone else. The same look he gave her every single day - it was this look of pure bewilderment - as if he didn’t know how he deserved this - that rooted from sincere, unwavering love. He whispered, “I just missed you too,” so sweetly, so softly, and then kissed her again. And again. And again.

Sooner or later they ate their pizza, and they watched a movie, and Lydia just had to remind herself over and over and over again that the distance wasn’t forever. He was here with her now, and that’s what mattered. Besides, she’d graduate in a year (perks of coming in as a junior) - there’s no telling where life would take her then. Preferably, it would be much closer to Stiles, who still had a few more years in school and training before he could officially join the FBI force. She wouldn’t mind living in Washington, DC - there were some good mathematician positions available through government jobs she could easily get while working on her Masters.

A loud bang hit the wall and both Stiles and Lydia jumped, the sound of guys cheering following quickly after it. He shook his head as he pulled her closer in, “I don’t think I’ll ever understand why you choose to stay in the dorms,”

Lydia smiled and shrugged into him, “There’s something about the loud chaos of it all… I don’t know, it reminds me of home.”

He scoffed, then said, “Speaking of home…” he sighed, Lydia afraid to know where that was going. “Scott called me.”

“What’d he say?” The love interests were fighting on screen now, Lydia half paying attention as she waited for Stiles to answer.

“He was inviting us all over for Christmas dinner.”

Lydia sat up a little to look at him, “Why do you make that sound like it’s the next apocalypse?”

“Uh, hello, Lydia ... have you had Scott’s mom’s food? It tastes like a werewolf’s regurgitated food, okay? Like the food the mom bird gives to it’s little chicks, but the very last bit that has a little stomach bile attached to it.”

Lydia scrunched up her face and stuck out a tongue, “Okay, okay, I get the picture,” the relief in her overcame her muscles, her joints again. She didn’t even realize how tense just the name Scott makes her sometimes. Not in a bad way, but just out of worry for her friends. Scott chose to stay close to Beacon Hills, which resulted in him being there more often than not with his newbee werewolves. He traveled a lot, however, his current werewolf adventures brought him all the way to Florida a couple months back. She was always worried for him - she may be across the country right now, but he was still her alpha, her pack leader, her friend. “We’ll just make sure to bring our own food, too, then.” Stiles was quiet, staring at the sheets, so she said, “And what else did he say?”

“Hm?” he snapped out of his daze, “What’d you mean?”

Lydia turned herself around in his arms so she could look up at him, his sleepy face blinking. She said, “You’re acting weird, he had to have said something else.”

“I- I don’t know, not really, it was just…” he sighed, unconsciously starting to rub circles on her back. “I could just tell in his voice, you know? It's Scott, I can always tell when something’s not right … and something wasn’t right.”

Lydia frowned, “Do you think he’s in trouble?”

“Not imminent trouble no,” he huffed out a short breath, “but I think there’s a lot more going on Scott’s plate than just Christmas plans. I don’t know … I asked him about it but he just shrugged it off, said it was a new pack member drama or some kind of bullshit like that. I know he’s been having trouble with hunters again.”

“He’ll be okay, Stiles,” she wrapped her arms around his torso and squeezed, “It’s Scott. He’s always okay. If he needs us, he'll let us know."

"Your banshee senses aren't tingling or anything right? No feeling of impending doom or scary dreams about supernatural werewolf deaths?"

She rocked her head no as her chin rested on his chest, "If they were you'd be the first to know." Stiles seemed to ease up at that, his body relaxing under her, his eyes softening as he gazed down. Then she said, "You have to learn to relax, Stiles. You can't keep living in DC terrified that all your friends are dying - we're not in Beacon Hills anymore,"

His brows furrowed, "I don't do that...do I?"

"Stiles. You called me three times last week while I was in class just to make sure I made it to class okay,"

He bit into his top lip and sucked in, "Okay, you make a good point. But can you really blame me? Lyds, we lived in constant fear for our lives for so long ... sometimes I wake up terrified no one remembers me anymore - or that I've forgotten someone very important and I'll never know who it was - or that one day I'll just forget you and -"

"Stiles," she gently placed a hand on his cheek, giving him a smile that told him everything was going to be okay, "you're not gonna forget me. No ones going to forget anyone, okay? The riders tried that on us and they failed, because no one could ever forget Stiles Stilinski."

He gave her a half smile, tears pricking his eyes, "My mom did."

It was silent. Lydia wasn't sure how to respond to that. She searched for the right words to assure him that his mom never really forgot him, when Lydia's phone started ringing. She pulled it from her nightstand and felt a short moment of panic. The name on the screen was Scott. He never called her out of the blue, especially not on a Friday night at 11pm.

She tried to look neutral as she said, "Hey Scott," Stiles sat up at the name, his muscle tensing all over again. She listened, then said, "Yeah he's right here. He forgot his phone back at home." Lydia smiled at Stiles and said to him, "Scott’s been trying to call you. He got worried that something happened."

He laughed, the coincidence uncanny. He fell back into the bed and put out a hand for the phone. Lydia handed it to him and he said, "Hey mom, sorry I didn't text you,"

"Stiles oh my god, how are you even with Lydia? Don't guys live like six hours away from each other?"

"I have a three day weekend, mom, it wasn't that big of a deal. I promise I'll get my homework done."

He heard him sigh, "If I had thought you'd be with Lydia I would have called her hours ago. I was afraid to call or text her and get her all worried if you were just the dumb ass that didn't charge his phone."

"No, I'm just the dumbass who left my phone six hours away. What's up? You sound freaked,"

He was silent for a minute, causing both Lydia and Stiles stress, then he said, "I'm in Massachusetts,"

Stiles rose up from his lounging position to give Lydia a look. He turned the phone on speaker and said, "You're here? What the hell are you doing across the country? Is the national Werewolf Con here or something?"

"That's a long story, but these hunters, man, they never stop, they …” his breath rattled in his chest. Stiles was pretty sure he heard Peter’s voice in the background, another unrecognizable one farther away. “I need you guys' help."

Lydia nodded, not even questioning it. Stiles responded, "Anything you need buddy, we'll be there."

Scott took a moment to respond, then, "I'll text Lydia the location. Meet us there in an hour." Without even a goodbye, Scott hung up.

Lydia took back her phone and looked at Stiles with wide eyes. "Told you he'd call us if he needed us," she sighed, “I wasn't expecting that to happen so soon, but what can I say - I am psychic after all,”

Stiles didn’t hear her. He was sitting there, staring at the bed in trance-like thought. Lydia was afraid what he was letting his mind wander to, but then he looked up and gave her a genuine smile. He was ready to jump off the bed when he said, “I’m sure it’ll be a long ride there - I’ll drive.”

She grabbed his hand, just to get him to look back at her. He did, and she asked, “Are you okay?”

“Of course I am,” he gave a little shrug to readjust his flannel on his shoulders, “I get to see my best friend. I mean c’mon, I haven’t seen Scott in months.” She gave him a look that screamed ‘I’m not an idiot’ and so he said, “Dire circumstances aside, I’d call it a win.”

She could sense the fear he was carrying and she felt a rush of deja vu - all the times in Beacon Hills, Stiles at her side, panicking on the inside but always jokes on the outside. Maybe it was being a banshee, maybe it was the emotional tether that was only strengthened when Stiles had to go under for his dad - but she always knew how he was feeling. She could sense it, practically feel it herself. When Stiles was possessed by the nogitsune - that was the most emotionally painful experience she had dealt with in a very long time. She could feel every bit of his pain, every bit of his fear, his panic, his sadness. However, it was Stiles, and he liked to pretend his problems didn’t exist. She nodded, accepting he wasn’t going to break, and said, “Okay, let’s go then.”

He had his keys in his hands already, spinning them around his index finger and catching it in his palm. He started to say something when he gasped, looking at the pizza box. “Wait,” he put out a hand to stop her, as if she was moving (which she wasn’t). “Oh my god, I completely forgot,”

Lydia looked at the empty pizza box and said, “Forgot what?”

He was digging his pants pocket, his tongue sticking out in the corner of his mouth when he said, “This,” He pulled out a faded pink pipe cleaner in the shape of a ring and a plastic rhinestone sloppily glued to the stem; it looked over 10 years old. Stiles had a goofy grin on his face as he said, “Happy meetaversary.”

Lydia took the small little arts and craft in her hands. It looked so familiar, but she had no idea how. “What… where did you get this?”

“When I moved out from my room I went through an old keepsake box. My dad made me keep one every school year, but I never went through them until moving out. In my 3rd grade keepsake box I found this - I made it for you in arts and crafts one day, probably one of the first days we really met. I remember I brought it to you and asked you to be my girlfriend,” he scratched the back of his neck and chuckled, “you laughed in my face and I guess I kept it in hopes that one day you’d accept it.”

Lydia was looking at the ring with teary eyes, “Stiles,” she looked up at him, “thank you.”

He gave her a silly wink, then shrugged it off by saying, “It’s not like I spent any money on it, Lyds, I just found it in an old box-”

Lydia pulled him down by his shirt and kissed him. He was shocked at first, but quickly melted into the kiss. He wrapped his arms around her waist, Lydia raveling her arms around his neck. After a long moment she pulled back for breath, her forehead pressed against his. “I meant thank you for never giving up. You never gave up on us, even after years of me rejecting you and treating you so horribly - you never gave up.”

“How could I ever give up on Lydia Martin?” he shrugged bashfully, “I knew you were my soulmate the day I met you. Nothing else compares to that.”

She pecked another kiss on his mouth and said, “I love you, Stiles Stilinski.”

He grinned, those very words from Lydia always putting a smile to his face. “I love you back, Lydia Martin - always will.”

She dove in for a hug then, squeezing him like he might disappear again if she let go. Stiles was holding her tight, too, face in her hair, when he glanced at the clock on her nightstand; “Ah fuck,” he reluctantly pulled back, “we gotta go,”

She nodded, looking at the time herself. She went to grab her jacket as she asked, “You think this will become a regular thing now that all of this hunter stuff is resurfacing? Scott calling us in when he needs us at late hours of the night?”

Stiles, hands on his hips, flannel flipped back behind his hands, said, “I wouldn’t expect it any other way.”

She kissed him on the cheek and grabbed his hand, “Well, c’mon then, we have an alpha to save.” He grabbed his jacket from the bed as Lydia dragged him out of the dorm room, door closing behind them.

And Stiles drove them to the location Scott shared, and they parked his jeep out at the park, and they got out simultaneously to see Scott and Peter bloody and battered with two other presumably werewolves with fear in their eyes - and Stiles and Lydia knew, this was a first of many late nights with the pack.

#stydia fic #stydia fanfic #teen wolf fic #Stydia #stiles x lydia #teen wolf #i just feel like there's not enough about them after the show #the thought of stiles traveling 6 hours every weekend to see her #his poor jeep going through the worst of times just so he can see Lydia #and okay their meetaversary is important to me #like they have known each other since the 3rd freakin grade #which means if they're 19 to 20 they've known each other for 10 to 11 years #sure lydia ignored him for a lot of that #but thats so freakin precious to me #anyway so this is my way too long than needed fic of them being cute together and missing each other and Scott needing them #its also a bit of the beginning of what later seems to become a more regular thing in s6 finale #when everyone meets up with them and Stiles and Lydia come out of the jeep like this wasn't their first rodeo #my fic #my stories #my stydia fics

60 notes · View notes

dontcallmecarrie · 3 years

Text

tfw the plot bunny strikes and refuses to let go, here, continuation of this:

Loki was torn between chagrin and vague amusement, as he observed everyone else’s reactions to the two Justin Hammers in between herding everyone to one of the safehouses Victor von Doom had somehow managed to get ahold of in this strange world.

At first glance, Victor seemed to be the most unperturbed— but Loki knew him well enough to note the way his eyes had widened when he’d seen the two side by side, couldn’t help but catch the tiniest shift in the way he held himself and Loki would bet anything that if he were any sort of telepath, he’d be hearing nothing but an infernal screeching coming from his corner of the room.

Ivan Vanko wasn’t much better, but at least he’d elected to hyperfixate on cleaning up the loose ends they’d left in relation to their original mission: from his mutters, some of the security cameras’ footage had been trickier to access than not, and required even more effort to scrub. Loki gave it another five minutes before he was forced to look away from his computer and acknowledge the reality of the situation.

Meanwhile, the Winter Soldiers were an interesting study in contrasts; while Winter was extremely apologetic about the situation and had already apologized no less than five times, Soldat seemed to be content to look on in bemusement as the situation unraveled from there.

...which wasn’t very different from what Loki’s own counterpart was doing, actually, but at least Soldat wasn’t enjoying the chaos. Visibly, anyway, and Loki was getting a new appreciation for just how irritating that particular smirk looked on his own face. If they all weren’t so focused on calming the jumpier, more visibly frazzled-version of their leader, someone would’ve punched it off his face by now. As it was, though...

“Who the hell are you people?!” Justin Hammer whisper-shrieked, in between sharp gasps for air and eyes wide as he cowered away from his kidnappers. “And wh— wh—”

“He’s more high-strung than you are.” Someone muttered to the terrifying figure who had his face—

“Of course he is, he has no idea what’s going on and you guys kidnapped him,” his mirror image replied with a flat look, before turning to face him looking vaguely embarrassed. “Look, Hammer— can I call you Hammer? Wait, no, you can be Justin, I’ll go by Hammer and man this is weird— I can explain. Just. Sit down and take a breather, because it’s, uh, a bit of a long story.”

Justin would’ve thought an explanation would leave him with more answers than questions.

He was sorely mistaken.

The headache he had now wasn’t much of an improvement from before.

“So, let me get this straight: you,” Justin jabbed a finger at the dude with the dark grey mask which was just about the only thing differentiating him from his twin, “grabbed me because you mistook me for him—”

“Sorry about that, by the w—”

“—and you’re all from some other dimension and pissed off goodness knows how many organizations trying to figure out how to get home,” Justin steamrollered on, closing his eyes in an effort to take things one step at a time because he was trying not to feel overwhelmed but these guys weren’t making it easy, “is that right?”

“Well...”

“I mean...”

“Yeah.” Ivan— not the bastard responsible for his being in Seagate, another version of him who apparently didn’t actively try and screw people over— replied, and Justin opened his eyes just in time to catch the tail end of his shrug. “That about sums it up.”

“Okay.” Justin nodded to himself. “Why?”

“Why what? You’re going to need to be more specific, here, I’m not a mind reader.”

“How’d you even get here? Or do you weirdos just go dimension-hopping for fun on a Friday night?”

“You’re not the only one wondering that.” The alien god said airily, toying with a— that was a knife, okay, Justin already knew he was in way over his head, he didn’t need the reminder, thanks. Where did it even come from, anyway? “I would really like to know that as well, Ivan.”

“Oh, nah, this was a freak accident.” Ivan snorted, then gave them all a smirk that gave Justin goosebumps for a second. “As for why...look at it this way: this was weird and stressful for us, and from the start you guys knew what was going on and have me to figure out how to get us back. Now imagine if it’d been the Avengers.”

The silent, broody one— Victor, was it?— made a noise of realization. “That is diabolical. I love it.”

“I know, I was trying to figure out how to temper it when this happened. The ray gun was supposed to be temporary, I’m not sure what happened but the end goal’s a duration of twenty-four hours. Sorry you guys got caught up in the beta, by the way.”

“We are going to be having words about proper lab safety protocols when we get home, Ivan.” Victor said darkly, and something in his voice that had six out of the seven other people in the room freezing for a second.

Justin couldn’t help but notice his...twin was not part of that number.

But first, because this was something he’d been wondering ever since he’d heard of how this ‘Cabal’ operated—

“Why are you going to this effort?”Justin asked.

“Oh, boy, here we go again,” the guy calling himself ‘Winter’ muttered, but before he do more than start to turn to him in confusion, Ivan spoke.

“Because death is too simple.” He said, not looking away from the computer he’d pulled out. “Because any rando with a gun could do that, if they wanted. No, if I’ve got a beef with someone, I want them to suffer. I want them to regret ever having pissed me off, to curse my name every time they step on a Lego and realize who put it there, to—”

“Yes, I know, we get it.” One of the alien gods cut in. The one who didn’t look like shit, and had a long-suffering look on his face partway into Ivan’s spiel. “If I had a penny for every time you go on that rant...”

“Says the guy who uses my ideas to become the official nemesis of the Avengers.” Ivan shot back, unamused, and the way Winter sighed and Victor pinched the bridge of his nose told him this was a recurring argument.

“Guys,” Justin’s...twin cut in, and Justin couldn’t help but feel something in the pit of his stomach clench as he noticed the way everyone from his dimension came to attention. “If we could focus on getting home?”

“I know, I know, I’m on it.” Ivan muttered, turning back to his computer. “Trying to throw SHIELD off our trail’s easier here, but it’s still not exactly a cakewalk.”

“Okay. What can we do in the meantime?”

The more Justin saw of this ‘Cabal’, of Hammer and the others, the more uncomfortable he felt.

Because the more time passed, the more it felt like...he was seeing a better version of himself.

How long had he tried to get people to respect him? How many classes on public speaking and marketing had he taken, how many books had he read in an effort to build his charisma, to be remembered as something other than the cheap knockoff of Tony Stark?

And now...

Justin watched as someone wearing his face walked around, and he was quiet, and fairly introverted, but something about him demanded respect, commanded all the attention in the room when he talked, and... Justin wanted that.

Of course, Justin’s...twin noticed.

For some reason, the look of sympathy he got felt even worse than the first time he’d donned prisoner’s uniform in Seagate.

Not to mention the conversation they had, when Justin was ushered into a quiet corner near the safehouse’s kitchen as they had tea.

It was. A talk.

Not a great one.

Not that there really could’ve been, considering, but.

“I am not you, you are not me, and that’s a good thing.”

Justin didn’t know what he was expecting, really.

Another version of himself, forcing him to acknowledge things he’d thought he’d gotten over— how was he supposed to handle it?

“You were set up for failure from the start, you know. No child should ever have to carry some of the burdens you grew up with.”

Just.

Someone who understood, and how was he supposed to deal?

“You cannot change the past, but you can control your own actions in the future. What do you want to do, who do you want to become? What makes you, you?”

Justin had thought he’d felt tired when he’d finally been brought into the mess these guys were part of, but now his exhaustion felt soul-deep and he didn’t know when he’d started crying but no matter how hard he tried, he just couldn’t stop—

Mercifully, the others left him alone for the rest of the day.

He... needed to think.

Justin wasn’t the only one having a hard time, he knew: he’d noticed the way Soldat followed Winter around, trying to mimic his self-confidence, and the Loki of this world looked at the easy camaraderie his counterpart had with a hunger that would’ve made Justin very nervous if that expression were aimed at him.

Something dark and feral, all jagged edges and brittle smiles and it shouldn’t have resonated nearly as much as it did but—

It made for a good conversation starter, if nothing else. Something relatable to bond over tea, because Victor was a monster who had an irrational disdain for coffee and Justin needed his caffeine fix if he wanted to keep what was left of his sanity.

Justin didn’t know what he brought to the table. Not compared to whatever his twin did, anyway, and he didn’t want to go that route either because he wanted to be himself.

Even if he wasn’t certain what that looked like, anyway, not after decades of chasing after Tony Stark’s shadow, but...

He’d find out. Somehow.

“Hey! Guys, I figured it out!” Ivan’s excited cheer woke everyone up early one morning. “Just gotta get my hands on some materials, but we can go home soon!”

#No Hero [Downward Descending]#schrodinger's canon #My writing

31 notes · View notes