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#this reduces my hopes for liking 3d humans
cyberbark · 3 years
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Sweet Cravings - t. giyuu
Anime/manga: Demon Slayer Requested: no
Giyuu x top!male reader [amab reader but no specified pronouns]
word count: 1.3k
cw: soft!dom reader, mentions of overstimulation, edging, praise kink, nipple play, nicknames, slight dumbification
NSFW UNDER THE CUT. MINORS AND FEM ALIGNED - DO NOT INTERACT
Giyuu writhing beneath you looked exquisite. You hadn't even done much! His delicate whines were suppressed by the back of his hand as you caressed his thighs.
Today was the day you wanted to show Giyuu how much smitten you were for him. Although you wanted to take things slow, your patience was running out.
Your hands started to toy with his pink nipples and you absolutely loved the reaction you received from your lover. "Y/n, p-please." His broken pleading voice was such a turn on so you couldn't help but tease him, "Please what, love? Be more specific."
You didn't give him a chance to speak because you latched your mouth onto his neck, leaving sloppy and wet kisses trailing down till his collarbone. "Y-Y/n!" His shyness was slipping away and you saw his need for you surfacing his blue eyes when you peered through your lashes to stare at him.
The flush on his face had never decreased, it rather spread down to his neck. His body was warm and inviting.
Knowing your lover well, he wouldn't dare say out loud his wants. You could feel your erection poking in your pants and you groaned. Lifting yourself up from Giyuu's chest, you started grinding his clothed erection at a slow pace.
Giyuu's eyes couldn't focus on yours, too lost in the little pleasure you were giving him. You fastened your grinding speed and grunted. The man under you moaned louder. "You like that, pretty boy?" You asked breathlessly. He shamelessly nodded, being too out of mind to answer.
As his orgasm approached, his sounds got louder. "I-I'm close Y/n! So close!" He whined, trying to buck his hips for more friction but you halted. Your lover's glossy eyes widened in panic so you leaned down once again to press a kiss to his nose, whispering near his ear, "Not yet, okay? Just a little longer, love."
He was utterly helpless, not having any other choice but to obey your reassuring words. You brought him out of his trance when you tugged at his pants. You discarded your pants along with his to the other side of the room. You two had had sex before yet Giyuu squirmed under the softest touches in embarrassment. He never got used to you seeing him so vulnerable!
You brought two of your fingers near his mouth and he did not need to be told about the next thing. He sucked on your fingers and you affectionately smiled at the male. Your other free hand reached down to pleasure your lover's cock. Giyuu was caught off guard with your actions, moaning around your fingers but nonetheless loved it.
"Good boy." Your praising voice only added more fuel to the fire. The male's body was heating up, too engrossed in what you were giving him.
He sucked your fingers a bit roughly, signalling he was getting close to another orgasm. Hoping you don't deny it. You pressed the pads of your two fingers on his wet tongue, enjoying the whines that left his mouth. You stopped palming his erect dick and took out the fingers from his mouth too. His blue eyes stung with the tears threatening to fall, he can't take it anymore!
"I'll let you cum soon, love. Hold it, 'kay?" He once again nodded. You sprawled out his thighs and Giyuu's face burned with shyness. Guiding your fingers over to his hole, you circled the rim.
"Y/n!" A surprised squeak left your lover's mouth. He was honestly too cute.
"Trust me, baby. You'll feel good." You assured him and continued the previous action. You inserted one finger inside of him, trying to get him loosened up. He bit his lip to suppress a loud whimper.
His mind was turning mushy and foggy, soon loosing control over his voice. You smirked at the effect you had on him, ruining him was extremely tempting. The desire to make him a mess was high so you put another finger in his tight yet hot hole.
His velvety walls greedily sucked in your fingers. Making scissoring finger movements inside of him to stretch him, you looked at his dripping cock. It was all precum. Giyuu was so needy for you.
Your fingers weren't too deep in him but the ravenette did not mind, instead he made cute faces as you finger-fucked him. His chest was rising and falling quickly as he was, for the third time this night, close to another orgasm just for it to be denied.
He gave out a frustrated whine, tears welling up in his pretty blue eyes. You chuckled lightly, aligning your lubed up dick to his hole. "You ready?" You asked, searching for any discomfort and consent. "Yes, please, Y/n!" He cried out, his arms locking behind your back, making you lean in. You pushed your dick inside of your lover, wanting to give him the release he craved. He scratched your back at the pain so you captured his lips in a comforting kiss.
As the pain subsided, he wiggled his hips. "You can move." He says in a quiet but hoarse voice which you almost missed. "Relax, pretty boy. You're doing really well." You instructed and started thrusting your hips in his warm and wet hole. Giyuu moaned, being fucked out when you haven't properly fucked him yet.
He looked at you with hazy, lust filled gaze and reached out to hook his arms around your neck to pull you closer. He needed you close to him.
You picked up your pace and one rather loud moan like yell was heard from Giyuu near your ear. "Does it feel that good?" You teased but he couldn't find any words! All he could do was blabber your name, begging you to make him cum. He was in a state of bliss.
You repeatedly abused Giyuu's prostate while muttering praises at the same time. His mind was fuzzy and he couldn't think because of the overwhelming pleasure. The previous denied releases were finally getting to him, he wasn't going to last like this.
"I-I'm close Y-Y/n! C-Cumming, ah, fuck!" He cried out, his face flushing to a brighter shade. "Go ahead, love." You said and that was all the confirmation he needed. He came with a loud yell. His body jerked forward, trying to maintain the intense feeling of your cock pressing down on his prostate. His walls clamped down on your cock while his body twitched. He swore he saw stars at that moment. What he didn't was that he was saying something incomprehensible all this time.
"Tomioka, f-fuck—" You stuttered as you reached close to your high by watching his far too gone state. Shit, he looked so good underneath you. Fucking him dumb wasn't too bad after all.
"Fill me up, please Y/n." Giyuu said without any shame after catching his breath, which caused the final straw for your climax. Not that you minded as you were close to reaching your own high as well. Gripping his hips roughly, knowing it'd leave a bruise, you finished inside of him with a groan feeling his insides squeezing your cock. Your vision had whitened for a few seconds before you regained your composure.
Panting, you stabled yourself caressing Giyuu's body. "Doing so amazing. Such a good boy."
"We're not done yet. You said you wanted to cum and I cannot deny such a request from my pretty boy." You said, smiling cheekily at the dumbstruck expression your lover gave you. Yeah, you'd ruin him to overstimulation sweetly tonight.
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ellebi-studies · 3 years
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Disclaimer: this post will deal only with the splanchnic part of Anatomy, which is probably the most difficult. The splanchnic part consists of the cardiovascular, lymphatic, digestive, respiratory, urinary, endocrine and reproductive system. I used a different study approach for the musculoskeletal system, which is more mnemonic. As for the nervous system, I will study it in the following semester.
Hi everyone,
Today I want to tell you about my study method for anatomy.
First of all, I want to say that anatomy is not mnemonic. You have to learn the position and the orientation of the organs inside the human body. Also, remember that there is always a correlation between the morphology and function of an organ. If you do not understand this, it will be more difficult and frustrating to study for the Anatomy exam.
I organized my study in three main parts: organization, comprehension, exposition.
Part one: organization (during lessons).
It took me a lot of time to select the material and have a general idea of what I had to study.
I took all the classes, but this is a personal point. Many people preferred to use their time studying rather than going to classes, and this is understandable. I need to go to lessons to have an idea of what is fundamental and what are details. It also depends on the professor you have.
Anyhow, notes from classes are not sufficient at all: the primary source must be the book. I used "Human Anatomy" by Anastasi. I choose it because many of my professors contributed to this book, and also it is the most used anatomy book in Italy. Anyways, I think the most used in general is "Gray's Anatomy".
Choosing the text is personal as well since you have to find a book organized in a suitable way for you: some people prefer a systematic approach, while others favour a topographic method.
Also, learning anatomy must be visual. That is why I used some other fundamental sources:
3D4medicals: it is an app that was given for free by my university. You can see the human body in 3D, and you can also remove or add systems or organs. It helps to have a stratigraphic awareness of what is ahead and beyond, above and under, lateral and medial.
Atlas: this is personal as well. There are atlas organized topographically, while others are focused on systems one at a time. By the way, I have to admit that I did not use the atlas as much as many people advised me to do.
In this part, I also made some mistakes:
In the beginning, I schematized a lot. It was a useless and time-consuming approach. Anatomy is not schematic: you can not reduce a system in a scheme. Schemes are useful only for some parts (such as arteries, veins or lymphatics), but you should first understand the concept and then thinking about making a scheme.
I focused on the details while I should have tried to gain a general idea first. It is better to have primary notions about everything and then add details.
Apart from the mistakes, I read everything in step with lessons. So, when the exam session started, I had already read all the material.
Also, I integrated the book with my notes. I added post-its on edge with notions or more understandable explanation. It allowed me to have a unique source from which I could study.
I preferred to have a systematic approach: I studied every system first, and then I read the topographic text to put all the information together.
Colour coding was fundamental: every system had its colour. It made it much easier to remember visually.
Part 2: comprehension (one month more or less)
I read all the material again, this time focusing on details. I tried to connect all the information I had, understanding the logic behind names and morphology of organs (I swear there is always a logic).
I made schemes for the most complicate parts:
I used post-its on the border of the text for the paragraphs I felt the need to schematize
I made mind maps for vascularization. I used a specific colour coding: terminal arteries in red, collateral arteries in pink, tributary veins in light blue, root veins in blue, anastomosis in purple and the territory of distribution in green.
At the end of the study day, I recalled all the concepts trying to explain them loud.
Part 3: exposition
It is probably the most vital phase. I organized my study plan to finish the second part one month before the exam. I then spent one month rehearsing everything many times.
It helped me gain the proper language: learning anatomy means also learning how to use precise terminology.
As I always do, I studied with some colleagues, which is fundamental for the anatomy exam. The material is a lot, and you are likely to disregard something important. Rehearsing with someone else will help both of you check whether you missed something significant.
We questioned each other using the previous round's questions. Is was helpful even because many professors always ask the same topics. Plus, sometimes professors ask easy questions with complicated wording: looking at these questions previously prepared me for this type of query during the exam.
Finally, I did not study the day before the exam. I had worked hard for so long, and I needed a break. It allowed me to perform at best during the exam.
That is all! Tell me whether you agree with this study method or you would have studied it differently. I hope this post will be useful to someone 😅
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thegodwithin · 3 years
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Dealing with the 3D (Living in the End + Mental Diet) [1/?]
Ignoring the external reality doesn’t mean to literally ignore it. Rather it’s acknowledging the fact that we are the creators of our lives. It is about remembering that all is within, and therefore recognizing that no matter what we are currently facing, we have to observe and adjust what is going on within instead of reacting without. It is an awareness of being. An awareness that knows that our outer world is nothing more than a reflection, which we can steer at any given moment. This doesn’t mean that our outer world is our opponent. In fact it’s our friend, since it’s a reflection of us and we get to decide what meaning this reflection has. It is like an input and an echo of output.
Responding beyond the human perspective (the 3D world) does not mean dismissing it or being in denial about your external reality. It’s about being all inclusive and remembering that what you see is not in opposition to your desires or to yourself.
When we respond from love, we no longer feel the need to pretend like things do not exist. Because we do not see the external reality, or the circumstances, as being either right or wrong. We do not see through the lens of duality. They no longer become a question of “Why is this happening to me? Why does my 3D world look like that?”, but an opportunity to choose love and transcend what we experience. To see with the eyes of God, and therefore with the eyes of Love, does not mean rejecting what you see and feel, or what you have experienced in your life. It is not about reducing our trauma, pain, hurt etc., to a phrase. This is because the Being that you are to the core has already held space for these experiences.
There are infinite ways to perceive your experiences here in this 3D world, and being all inclusive means you are recognizing that each moment of your life has been perfectly orchestrated and projected out by you, not to oppose you but to support you. This is what it means to choose love.
Even when we feel overwhelmed by the 3D world and it’s too hard to ignore, it is here to support us. The outer world is a reflection from within and it is showing us what we want to be different. It’s an opportunity to perceive things differently and to be aware of what is going on within ourselves, therefore changing it.
Our reflection is not separated from us. The reflection in itself is neutral. If we see our reflection as divided from ourselves, we are creating separation. Our reflection is one with us, since it is simply another expression of ourselves. It is not something to be judged but rather to be observed and experienced. If we judge it, it will be harder to see the bigger picture.
To see from the eyes of God, is to not only trust in the unseen but to also trust in what you are currently feeling and experiencing- within and in the outer world. Oftentimes, people will confuse a desire with something that they want really badly, but can’t have. When you see a desire through these lenses, you are automatically creating separation between yourself and the desire. Because this is how you are approaching your desires, is why you may assume that some things around you- good, bad or indifferent- have nothing to do with the fulfillment of them. 
If we see it from a space of oneness and love instead of an outer and inner world, or as something being opposite, we’ll feel and know that everything is serving us. That there is nothing to be achieved but rather to be acknowledged. When we see things in this way, our desires will not seem unattainable or out of reach, or something that we have to put a lot of effort in, in order to experience. The change has already taken place the moment you accepted the desire, and what you perceive as opposite results are never actually opposite, this is simply an illusion of duality. This illusion is meant to be worked through from a state of remembering who you are.
If our outer world is not as we like it to be we have not failed. We can never fail to acknowledge a state. We are always acknowledging a state and we can choose which state we are acknowledging through our awareness. In our imagination we are holding all of the cards and it is up to us to decide which cards we are choosing to play. By acknowledging a state, creation is finished. The only distance between our desires and ourselves is the belief of there being a distance. All infinite possibilities are within and are waiting for you to recognize them. There are no limits through the eyes of God.
Your instinct may be to wonder how to control what seems to be in opposition to your desires, when you look into the 3D world. Thoughts may arise to the surface that tell you that what you see is delaying your manifestations, or that you have been doing something wrong the entire time. You may even start to doubt if the Law works or not. What most people do not realize is that the desire itself means fulfillment already. When you ask, “How do I change this circumstance? How can I control this person? How can I make this go away so I can get what I want?”, you are forgetting that the desire is a part of your being, and not an idea that you received from nowhere.
If you leave the 3D world alone, remembering that this reflection is only a temporary experience, you are demonstrating trust and faith in your imagination, the desire, and the process- all of which are still you, God.
When you see yourself in the desire, it no longer becomes a question of what you have to control, manipulate or influence in order to get somewhere, because you understand that the destination was within you all along. The only control that needs to take place is from within. We prefer to see it more as allowing, rather than controlling.
Oftentimes when we are thinking about controlling our within, we are interpreting it as that we have to force it which leads to frustration, but when we allow it, it feels natural. When you allow, you act from a state of love that strengthens you instead of acting from a state wherein you are hoping that your actions will earn you the desire. Our actions do not create our state but our state creates our actions. Therefore the question is not “what should I do?” but “who do I want to be?”. Allow yourself to be your true self for the feeling of fulfillment instead of the need for fulfillment. Allowing means to trust in creation, that creation is finished the moment we enter the desired state and that it’s all unfolding in our way, even when it might look like the opposite is happening.
When you see or hear something that you do not like, do not resist it in fear of things manifesting in an unlovely way. Rather sit with what is arising within you, and feel yourself as one with the state that feels uncomfortable in the moment. In this way you are increasing your awareness instead of giving power to the state, and demonstrating the meaning of the first principal- “Be still, and know that I am God” (psalm 46:10).
It is no longer, “I cannot participate in the outer world. I cannot feel this feeling and think this way”. This way of thinking transcends into “I will approach this in the way that feels the best to me, and I will do the best I can knowing that there are no mistakes”. When you think this way, you are responding from love and the wish fulfilled. You are allowing the knowing that everything is working out for you to take the lead, and from this knowing things shift and manifest for you.
Operating from love- seeing everything and everyone as one, dissolves each and every imaginal obstacle and transforms it into opportunity. 
Through the eyes of God, everything that is or ever has been, has been here for our greatest good, and it is up to us to decide whether it is all here for or against us. Choose to see from the state of love and oneness. Choose not to ignore your external reality but to acknowledge and see it as one with us.
- Taken from this article on I Am Love
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rpausandwhatifs · 3 years
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Is This What You Call...Safety?|| Hush Hush
A/N: This is for my friend Jayde for her belated birthday! Enjoy bb!
@ledabunnie-rp @nevergoodenoughforthetruth
Vincent had came to work, but he had gone through his load entirely too fast. He was mostly at the hands of one guy- and he was the host. However, it was too late to really think about it before the drugs had set in, causing the man to stumble and fumble as the pills he took before the party mixed with the lean in the cup he finished while making sales. He was a blurry mess and somehow guided his way to the closest bathroom he found in a part of this rented house where most of the goers in this area were having sex or chatting it up so they could hear. He pushed past them, going into the first open door and falling into it. “Oh..fuck..” he muttered as he almost collided with the wall, feeling the tile and touching the wall as the spinning continued and he found his way into the toilet, vomiting immediately before finding the flush lever.
Leda forgot that she didn’t lock the door, so the really cute boy in the skin tight chinos and boots with the long hair barged in it scared her half to death. She put her 3DS down and slid her headphones off, about to bang on the glass chamber that was the stand alone shower until something stopped her and it just made her watch the man try to recover as he lit a cigarette. 
The man propped himself up and crawled to the top of the toilet and threw the lid down as he took another drag, trying to see where the light switch was even though there was a hue of red and purple from the string lights. Quickly giving up on his adventure he threw up one more time into the bowl and sat up on the closed toilet, dragging his cigarette while he let the cool porcelain calm him down. He heard the distant movements in the shower and pryed one eye open to barely see a girl with turquoise hair in a rave outfit with a backpack or something staring at him in a clear box. "Who's in the shower?" He calls out, rocking his head back and forth fighting the nausea.
"I'm here in spirit..I don't exist," Leda said back, weary at how he was able to spot her.
"That's the most human thing I've ever heard from a spiritual entity," he laughs and scoffs, "That's a cute voice you got, you have a name oh spirit?"
"I'm... not telling you that.." she said, "And you die from a heart attack in here im not saving you."
"Are...you... you're in here.. you're human- fuck i can't see- are you in the shower? Is that why you sound like that?" He asked with a small joke, "Wanna cigarette?"
"Maybe.. if you can't see then how are you smoking and offering me one?" She challenged him.
"Muscle memory. You'd be surprised how many things you can do automatically.. Just with your arms and hands..." he trailed off, "Also you didnt drink out of the cup when you got here? You sound like... crazy sober."
"No..I didn't, Felix told me about it before the party and I just-"
"Wanted to keep your clout you came to this party even though you didn't want to, but you didn't wanna let your friends down, but you didnt wanna just sit at home on a Friday night again..I heard something close, did you bring a video game?" He said.
"Shut the fuck up, Vincen-"
"Ohhh you do know me... interesting. It must be because of Felix... speaking of, wonder who he's got down his throat...Ah, I'll worry about it later...I thought I knew his friends.." he muses, I would remember an ethereal voice like yours.."
"I...I..." she was stuck, she shouldn't have said his name, "Thanks for the compliment, can you go back to quietly being too fucked up on drugs to acknowledge me now?"
"Actually...I've overstayed my welcome at this place anyway.. there's a guy in here and he's... less than thrilled his house got rented out for the debauchery that is horny college students," he mentioned, slowly lowering himself on the floor and crawling to Leda, placing himself against the wall, facing straight ahead with the girl in what would be his peripheral.
Leda's ears perked up, he knows there's a spirit in here? Was he just pulling her leg or what? His eyes were still closed but his voice sounded way better up closer than across the large bathroom. The crackles and creaks of it made her nervous. "There isn't anyone in here," she claims supposedly.
"No... he's dead. The house was sold to a PM that rents houses out for events and vacations..he likes the renovation though...He showed me he carried you in here," Vincent said, "You woke up and immediately tried to protect yourself in the shower."
"Now you're making shit up," she called out wrapping on the glass box.
"If I'm making shit up then how'd you get in here?" He asked and was met with silence, "You don't remember... do you?..He told me you just kinda walked out your house with the lights on.. guess he didn't want you to get hurt- but seriously, how did you not drink the syrup at the door?"
"I poured it out when no one was looking and washed out the cup with vodka and hoped an appletini would calm me down.. cus I got really anxious being around everybody pushing everyone and the music is too loud..." she started, drawing her knees to her chest, "He scared the shit out of me."
Vincent laughed, "Yeah that's how i was when i saw him standing in the middle of the room... Did you want the cigarette? Also i have a valium if you want one.."
Leda smiled when he laughed, feeling way better that someone other than her could see spirits and understood possession. She knew what valium was, and just one couldn't hurt with a cigarette cutting it up, "He tell you how he died?"
"Wife poisoned him.. then shot him.. didn't take the divorce very well... sounds like a gold-digging bitch anyway," Vincent said as he used his to light another for her.
"Wow... you don't wanna share?" She gasped quietly as she slid her hand out of a crack in the door to take the cig.
"That.. would mean I get closer... didn't think you'd want that.. you know who I am..I'm the drug dealer on this campus... You don't know what I'm capable of.." he warns her, finally looking into the glass at the door, "I sold all the things I have so anything at this point is personal stock.. but..I couldn't keep a freebie from a cutie like you holy shit...If I could see you like he showed me, I dunno if I could contain myself.. What color is your hair?" He leans into the glass as his head starts spinning again almost muttering his words. He gets up and takes out a Tic-Tac, fumbling his way to the sink and crunching on it as he washed his mouth out on the faucet, wetting his face and wiping it on a towel before bringing the damp cloth to the floor. He stumbled back to the huge glass chamber on his hands and knees, opening the door and crawling over her and excusing himself before settling next to her.
Leda was shaken to her core at his words, and forgot that he was probably on a few different drugs and high on something else. She couldn't get her mouth to open to create the words. She quickly forgot the question and watched with wide eyes as she no longer was terrified of opening the door when Vincent pushed it back and crawled to her. She was almost shaking as he excused himself. "Purple a-and pink," she stammered, "I have to dye it again..I'm doing black with tips.."
"Hm..i see," Vincent said with a weak nod, pushing his wet hair back again as he exhaled, "I'm sorry I'm trying to come down and this shit is coming in like... waves and.. fuck~"
"What is it specifically?" She asked, taking him in, he looks so interesting yet her eyes darted back to the toilet across the room, "And don't worry I don't need the valium right away..”
"Ah shit right.. the valium.. doing what weed has done for years since the 70s," he chided as he fished a pill bottle out of his pocket, then handing her two pills of different shape and color.
"What's that?" She quickly asked.
"Muscle relaxant..that's for you too..helps the valuim, no psychoactive side effects to speak of...reduces lactic acid," he mentioned, relighting her cig, "I have friends in pharmaceutical chemistry.. they really hook me up and in return they get paid in weed.. down the hatch."
Leda's heart was racing at how he sounded so close to her, lighting her up like a gentleman even as a slumped mess. She smoked quietly as he had fallen into another unconscious stupor while the drugs were doing their job. They were working faster than she expected. "Vincent..." she called to the ceiling, "I'm tired.."
"I thought you would be..i forgot to tell you it acts fast.. but you're fine I promise," he mentioned.
"No I feel amazing, I just...I need something soft to lay on," she sighed.
"How about we go to one of the suites?" He offered, "I can see now if my legs will work."
They get up, getting out of the bathroom in search for unoccupied rooms. Settling on the empty pool house, where they found an open skylight in the bathroom since the doors were locked. They bust in and find the bedroom, resuming their conversation in this California simple and dainty king bed.
"Why'd you lock the bathroom door?" She asked as she lit her own cig even though she just begged him for it.
"You always do that at college parties if you create another entrance to the bathroom.." he said simply laying back on the end of the bed with his legs planted to the floor, bending his head up to see the girl snuggled in his jacket, twisting his body to lay on his stomach, "uhhmm yeah, you lock the door behind you at any party because frat boys with give you a swirly or worse..or someone who's eager to use the bathroom and they're too fucked up to be aware so they do it on you-"
"Ugh that's gross!" She exclaimed, laughing lightly, really allowing herself to enjoy this guy that she barely knew and at most should have hated. He just was so sweet and up her alley for her to ever admit but he undoubtedly made an effort to come to this party for her. She hadn't realized until she looked down and saw him looking up at her again from her feet. She could kill for his eyes and the way he collapsed on her legs to just touch them, it was sending electricity as dull needy aches through her body. "Vincent~... what are you doing?"
"Admiring your body... listening to you talk.. thinking about how i can get my jacket back," he croaks stretching a little, lightly throwing his head back on the bed, "What you thinking?"
"Have you come down yet?" She asked cutely, and instantly panicked at her casual feelings of interaction with him.
"Not all the way, I'd have to sleep it off mostly or something...sex also resets the clock, but...we're not doing that," he mentions while he rubs his eyes, checking his phone.
Her chest caved when he mentioned sex, and even though he wasn't offering it up, she just wondered what it would feel like to be that close with a guy like him. If this is all he usually did, outside of being a homewrecker as she's heard, then maybe he's not a creep. Girls do lie in college for any reason, but always putting themselves at an advantage. "Uhh.." seeped out of her mouth before she bit her lip and tried to disguise that.
"You know I'm looking right at you, right?" He says to her, giggling at her embarrassment, "Don't feel like you have to...I know you've got a problem with peer pressure-"
"I don't!...I don't have a problem with peer pressure..shut up!" She bit at him.
"Rawr...calm down kitty cat, put the claws away..Im just saying. Me mentioning sex kinda made you think," Vincent said, "When's the last time you got some..if you have gotten any- cus I have came across a few virgins..."
"Were they virgins when you were done with them?" She asked tongue in cheek.
"Mostly. I respeected that they didn't want sex...and they're firm in their beliefs that they're still a virgin if thou therein whereto receive or produce cunnilingus... they just want neverending head. It's heroine to them," he explains gesticulating to make it interesting and twisting his voice.
"Isn't that a good thing?" She asked, loosening her grip on the pillow she was holding.
"I don't mind it... but sometimes they're horrible at head and that's all they can do. Girls at this school count the ass too, so even face-fucking is a far cry."
"Oh..okay...Uhhh..I haven't thought about it, honestly.. been kinda dealing with my issues over having sex. The stories I hear about hooking up really have weirded me out.." she's admitted.
"Are you a virgin?" He asked, exaggerating his inflection.
"Unfortunately no.. well, I consider myself a born-again...I don't really remember a lot of the sex I used to have, and since it was... traumatic, to say the least, I'd rather act like it didn’t happen and get more memorable experiences, cus...I heard it's fun if done right," she explained.
"It is...I'll keep it in mind.." he nodded with a smirk, sighing as a weak wave passed thru him.
"Yeah.. but.. you've peaked my curiosity, honestly," she jumped up to say, causing Vincent to turn his head and raise an eyebrow.
"I hardly think that's fair," he said with a giggle, "You took a valium and a muscle relaxant..you'll never cum or cum too much. Im fucked up, and not exactly of consenting or open to communicating during sex like you might need me to..."
"That's... true.. then why touch my legs if you weren't going to?" She asked, a little frustrated, kicking her legs a little.
"See? That's what I'm talking about!... Acting like a brat when you haven't asked for anything," he said, giggling.
"But...I..." she started, realizing herself that he was right.
"You didn't straight up ask for sex.. you implied that it interests you..I can't start anything off implications," he explained, sitting up.
"I know how consent works, don't fucking patronize me!" She snapped shoving his chest with her foot. He falls back and rolls his eyes, which makes her more riled up, throwing his jacket on the floor.
"Leda.. what the fuck?" He asked sitting up on his knees to look at his jacket, "What the hell is your problem?"
"Don't act all fucking innocent! I know you.. you're a damn dog and you would've had me 5 ways to Sunday by now! Rosanna told me how creepy and controlling you are-"
"Thaaaaat's who it is... see i knew it sounded familiar.. You're her rogue drone! I just didn't realize... are you spying on me? Did she send you?" He jumped up once he realized why she knew him, her name would come up with he spoke to Rosanna, possibly whenever they were speaking again.
"Wh-No! She's not even at this party! She's with Mark!" She fussed, "It doesn't mean she's wrong..."
"Uh that's exactly what the fuck it means-"
"Why should I listen to you?" She prodded, folding her arms.
"You've got this fucking far! Wouldn't you want to at least understand my side? Ms. Confectionery Prodigy got some skeletons of her own," he was quick to explain how they had a fleeting relationship that was mostly roleplay meetings and oral and heavy petting. Leda wasn't entirely convinced and he made her promise not to tell anyone before he showed their messages leading up until the first 3 months she was dating Mark. It was Ro no doubt. Her fantastical language and promptness in response, pastry emojis as her signature. Cookie's toys in her explicit pictures.
"That's ridiculous..so she just left you for dead?" Leda asked, knowing she just swore never to speak of this, but she had some questions because he'd seen a side of her not even Mark has seen. And probably never will. "Why?" She asked simply.
"Said I reminded her of her ex. She was in deep with the guy.. he was older so she felt like her freedom in her youth had kinda been held back, so she went after me and Mark because she just... found herself in the middle of being young at heart but feeling grown and confident...I guess.. but she's always worried about her lies being found out and she loves a secret if she can help it," he said with a shrug, "They way she spoke about him, I'd love to drink with him, but, she's just happy where she is and who was I to stop her? If she hadn't made me a villain then she would have lost everything- from her confidence to her credibility."
"So you just... leave her alone? That's..that's," Leda was almost at a loss, but it was both the most mature and childish and high school thing she had ever heard. This felt like the heaviest thing she's encountered in a while.
"Not for you to think about," Vincent said, quickly and low as he had inched closer to brush her hair behind her ear, "Humans are complex creatures.. weaving these dangerous webs of lies and history.. you should always worry about your own but don't ever give anyone the benefit of the doubt.."
Leda couldn't handle his gentle touch or his words, she wanted to still be mad and hate him for it but she didn't know how. She wanted to be mad at Ro for being such a hypocrite but most of that was pushed back when she felt his lips on her jawline. It made her shudder and lean into him, submitting herself into the kiss that could replace her first kiss. She wanted more, she wanted him. Her mouth pushed out little sounds against him, whining quietly when he pulled back and breathed with a smile. "Vincent~" she breathed, her head in a tizzy.
"You want it don't you?" He asked, his lower voice sending shivers through her body.
"Can I have more, though, ..of what you gave me?" She asked, "I-"
"Later, okay?.. You'll be fine without it," he interrupted her with a soft smile and backing up to give her space to breathe and rubbing her back.
“Uhm...I feel like-”
“You’re overwhelmed...it’s okay. You seem confused, and it scares you a little...”
“I wouldn’t say it scares me..I just have never related to someone I now wish I hadn’t met..so much so..Because..Rosanna...Rosanna would-” the girl gasped and controlled her hollow breathing, definitely happy she had his hand on her back to focus on.
“You don’t know what Rosanna would do..and you really thought you’d known her..is that it?” he asked.
“Y-Yes!..N-No~! I-I mean...I don’t know how I feel~ I’m really into you, but...but why me?!” she asked looking at him with slight exasperation.
“You look like you deserve not to be living in someone’s shadow just because you don’t see yourself that way,” he answered.
“Is that what you said to Rosanna?” she asked, narrowing her eyes.
“No..what I said to Rosanna to start our whole fling is..vastly different from just us talking about a mutual friend-”
“What about my current state makes you think I’m gonna be friends with her-”
“You wouldn’t throw her away for me..”
Leda leered at the Vincent and clenched her jaw, knowing that this whole night was something she’d throw her whole life away just so she’d know where in the world he’d whisk her away to and for how long. “And what if I did?” she asked at a low whisper.
“What do you think you’d deserve for doing that? Because I definitely didn’t ask you to renounce your gods and join my great legion of the undead...”
“This would totally work if I was a Virgo or a Taurus, but I’m a Leo, so you must not understand-”
“I’m a Sagittarius, and I’m attempting to be very patient but since I know I don’t have to I’ll call you stupid to your face. That would be one of the dumbest decisions you could make but the fact that I make you feel like you’d rather make that decision than live with the ‘what-ifs’ or knowing that you could never look at Rosanna the same way again because I arouse you intellectually and emotionally-”
“Don’t forget sexually-”
“And sexual- Really?” Vincent looked over at her.
“You talk a lot, I see why she liked you...” 
“You hate talking about yourself-”
“I can talk about myself-”
“You can’t even tell me you want to have sex with me let alone that you like me..also, I feel like that should be thought about after tonight...given the circumstances,” Vincent sitting up, backing away from her more. It causes the girl to stare at him at the loss of touch completely, pushing out a frustrated sigh. The air was tight to her, but Vincent rolled his eyes and pulled the glass rod from his jacket pocket in front of her and smoked out of it.
“So...could you maybe stop being an aloof prick and explain to me how to get laid?” she said while pulling the ponytail out of her hair and taking the rod from his fingers and smoking out of it.
“You want to fuck me specifically or you want some faceless hookup?” he asked giggling.
“What exactly is a faceless hookup, Vincent?” she asked, her eyes meeting his again for the first time in a while and still couldn’t keep herself together. His hand was gently over hers and she deciding on playing with his fingers, biting her lip.
“Well, first off, you’d have to take off your clothes...then I’d suggest a brief makeout session before first or second base- given that my way of doing these things is slow mostly-”
“I dunno if I have the patience for slow,” Leda said quickly as she slid off the side of the bed and stood up, pulling her pants down and deciding to undo the knot that kept her shirt up, hiding her midriff. Then got back to Vincent as he tried to watch, but his mind flowed with ideas. He pushed himself forward, planting his feet on the floor and taking off his boots. He looked up at Leda, who was waiting for him patiently, which made him smirk as he stood up and gave way to his jeans.
“You don’t have the patience for slow?” he echoed.
“Nah, never did. Guys usually don’t take their time with me or they had made up their minds already and I hadn’t gotten a choice,” she explained, hoping her shirt hid her thighs rubbing together at the crooner in front of her. She could feel her anxiety rise in an interesting way as Vincent saw right through her. “Vincent-” she didn’t mean to breathe.
He raised his eyebrows as he heard the wind whisper his name, and he quickly moved around her to make the back of her more aligned to the back of the bed. She gasped a little as she heard his phone and wallet hit the nightstand and did a magician’s gesture to make a condom appear between his fingers, “Not yet, though.”
“Why?” she asked.
“You tell me,” he said, gently taking her waist into his hands and Leda could barely hold in her exhale and moan as it felt so slight as her body moved into it. All of the thoughts started flooding and so did the memories. She felt like he could be there at any second, but there was Vincent blocking him. Her body ached a bit at how he just froze. “Your lips look so soft and plush..and I like your hair down like this.”
The girl tried to hide, but it was met with another squeeze, “V-Vincent~” she sputtered as he kept yanking her out of her head, feeling the muscle relaxants and the weed mix. 
“You alright, babe?” he asked softly in her ear, being sure to not touch her elsewhere. Leda didn’t understand why she felt this way. 
“No..” her voice shook as she gulped, “My head’s going crazy but my body’s not..and I want to be terrified, but that’s..just..not what I’m feeling...What was in that tube thing?..” She finally asked.
“Weed obviously...not even the stuff I sold tonight. It’s a preview from the guy I buy off of-”
“I don’t really smoke grass-”
“Is it because THC can be a psychostimulant?”
“Ye-yes!..I feel like-” she cut herself off and took in his cologne instead. She couldn’t let him know what all she was thinking. It wouldn’t make sense. She would look more certifiably crazy then. Her mouth pushed out half of moan as she exhaled his scent where she tasted the cigarette and the fact they had been at a college house party. 
“I was gonna tell you to take a deep breath but you did it already-”
“Are you...Are you gonna fuck me or not?” she balled up her fists.
“If you would let me fucking finish and stop interrupting me solely to say something that would piss me off then yes!” Vincent said as he let her sides go and folded his arms.
“Not my fault you drugged me and are taking your time..” she folded hers and looked away from him, not wanted to meet his eyes.
“So what, I was supposed to brazenly assau- Ooooohhhhhh....You’re not mad at me..And...I just became mad at myself for realizing it-”
“What?” she asked, whipping her head towards his.
“You don’t know how to enjoy it, because you’ve never been given the option..nor the opportunity,” he mentioned, returning his hands to her sides quickly. 
“What?!” Leda asked, more surprised and now sent back through those thoughts of him touching her again, “You do-don’t know if I-”
“You told me you did..I dunno if it changed..did it?” putting slightly more pressure to allow her to embrace him.
“Ugh~..no..” she once again cursed herself on the inside from only getting a hug from being revved up by his hands lingering on her waist and lower back. Part of her just wanted to let go, or at least tell him to- since part of her completely trusted him. He passed the tests. He was so close to figuring her out and it angered her how clandestine he could carry himself through it all. Her body relaxed into the long hug and waited for this to not be real. For Vincent to pop a hard-on or something so that she knew he was doing all of this because he was still plastered and wanted to bed her. It was hard to expect him to do that when he would talk and his hands wouldn’t really move. And when he moved he tried to stay quiet. Leda’s arms started to move once again, snaking her arms up and crossed them behind his neck, “B-be...be gentle, alright?” she pulled back slightly to meet his eyes- gods those eyes- and his hair in his face before kissing him.
x
Leda was at Vincent’s again, no longer afraid of him or his touch, if anything, he’s the only one whom she trusted. Before she would be ready to fight if anyone tried to touch her, and obviously Vincent was given exclusive access. However, Vincent had to always do something to salvage their experiences, and there were times where he didn’t have it in him. 
The fresh couple lived through such a visceral honeymoon stage that Leda couldn’t think that a guy could have loved her more than the one who was after Cameron. She tried so hard not to think about it. One evening Leda was excitedly waiting for Vincent in the car while he made a sale. This is how they started dating and it just became something she found herself doing before she stopped staying in her dorm and sleeping at Vincent’s apartment. He came back and put everything in the trunk before getting in the car and only resting his head in his arms over the steering wheel with a huge sigh.
“Baby..you ok?” she asked as she sat up and rubbed his back. 
“No..” he said quietly, desperately trying to keep himself together. 
“Well..we..we gotta go..or..are we going somewhere?” Leda said, looking up and looking around.
“I have to go back in there...It’s not like..I mean you don’t care right?” he finally says when he sits up and pushes his hair back.
“How can you even ask me that question?” Leda looked at him, coming off louder than she expected, “What do you mean?”
“We’re not...This isn’t..Look it’s a party in there and...I wanna be single tonight. Like my boss, he’s- fucking treating me to the party in there and I can’t tell him you’re in here and you don’t do parties so-”
“I never said I don’t do parties. I don’t do party drugs and uncomfortable situations-”
“Your whole life is an uncomfortable situation, Leeds,” Vincent chuckles lightly, reaching in a pocket for his cig he started before he went in the first time, “It’s not gonna take me that long, babe..”
“Wait! You’re actually going back to the party?” she pushed her hand on his chest, then shook her head slowly, “What the fuck?”
“I’m going back in, yes. To enjoy the party? No...To probably get my dick sucked by a drunk Sean McLoughlin cus he’s been walled up and he said he would?..Yea-” he gave her some theatrics before turning away.
“NOO!” she snatched his shoulder, “Are you fucking kidding me?!”
“What? You’re not going to do anything about it. And it’s not gonna change anything with..us..per say...it’s just I’m having sex with Sean tonight,” he tried to explain.
“I’m not fucking stupid! That’s if I allowed you to! Who put you at the head of this relationship?” she looked at him, perplexed and angry.
“Who put you at the head of this relationship? Listen, half of this problem is the fact that I fuck other people. The other half would be the disrespect of dishonesty and I’m not giving you that!” he said trying to deescalate the situation.
Leda was so upset and couldn’t believe that he was just trying to brush off cheating in her face. He had brought up a few good points, so maybe he doesn’t understand how this hurts her, “Ok but you’re not respecting my additional choices, the fact that I may feel some type of way about it- You just came in here and told me you’re gonna fuck Sean!”
“Is it because it’s Sean specifically?” he asked, pulling back a little.
“Urgh! No! Well-..no, because...I should call Mark because he should be home right now,” Leda tried to say, feeling caught up by his question and now enraged that she felt anything because he was still in the wrong. 
“We can drop him off,” he shrugged and chuckled before looking over to her, “Oh come on! I wouldn’t not stop the car or anything like that. I’d make sure he’s sober or at least hydrated...but he looks like he could blow off some steam and he gets a safe ride home. You can bring him in his dorm, tuck him in, let Mark know he got back in one piece- fuck! Knowing Musclebound Buffpants he’s probably on his way because Sean probably called him accidentally on purpose.”
“He’s with Ro tonight..she told me he’s being held hostage for the night,” she interjected with not as much energy, “Why won’t you take him in? You’re the guy!”
“I’m in the running to apply for Alpha president..I don’t have good luck with being seen in a good light..You know that, you came from the factory,” Vincent  scoffed, before finishing the cig and flicking the butt out of the window and blowing the smoke with it, “And so because Ro is with her future husband, you have to play pretend with me?”
“No! Can’t we just...like hang out?! What the fuck is your problem?” Leda snapped at him, throwing her hands up.
“This! This moment right now and everything about it is my problem, Leda!” Vincent snapped back, “Answer me this, am I your boyfriend?”
“No, I-”
“Right. Not your boyfriend. And you’re not my girlfriend. You won’t let us call us an us...and why is that again?”
“Because you’re a fucking prick.”
“Ah no..sorry, we were looking for you care too much about Ro’s opinion and your social status with her friendship.”
“No I fucking don’t! I don’t need to be with her like that!” she defended weakly.
“Listen, if you don’t like what I’m doing then take my car and do whatever the fuck you want and I’ll call you in an hour. Go back to my place, go fuck someone else, go have a some weird lesbian fantasy about your best friends and deny it in an attempt to keep them because you know you don’t have a chance. Go hang with someone else, actually fucking take your meds and do your homework for once-”
“Shut up, Vincent!” she yelled as she shoved him, causing him to abruptly get up, slamming the door shut and wrangling his car key off his ring and tossing it in the car. Leda had screamed when he shut the door, holding her arms up defensively as she heard the keys fly into the car through the driver’s window and hit the dashboard.. the girl cried for several minutes and contemplated going into the party, but it was too dangerous. She realized she shouldn’t have come with him. She takes his car and has a night out of her own, knowing Charlie was probably aching for some human contact. 
X
Vincent couldn’t believe he actually was able to move in. He was already so excited to be the Alpha house president, even if not everyone agreed with him. Rosanna dutifully worked under him and kept herself busy, vowing to herself and to Mark that they almost never see one another unless it concerns the house. Vincent could still see every moment they had together. He doesn’t ignore her lingering looks and touches while they tried to quickly check and proof records and evaluations and documents for the house. She didn’t regret no looking back when she could still steal glances from the very corners of her eyelids and faintly think of Mark for a second. Allowing their imagery, their voices, their strength to overtake her for a fleeting moment before she was brought back and remembered the business at hand. 
Since Leda disappeared with his car a few weeks back, Vincent hadn’t a clue what came over her after one fight on one night. She hadn’t known where she’d gone, but didn’t know what Cyr had done with the things of hers that she left. She went up to the registry and seen that Cyr lived in Alpha now. She had remembered him very vaguely discussing running for Alpha president, but hadn’t really cared about it at the time- she thought he wouldn’t get it. Vincent was going over the printout of the proposal for an event that Rosanna had suggested to boost revenue and new pledge turnout when he got a shiver, and it made him play it off by rolling his neck. “You ok?” Ro cooed, rubbing his shoulders, Vincent sinking in.
The girl had found out that he had done away with his off-campus apartment for Greek Row, so she took the long walk going up from the office. Ro hadn’t been this sweet on him, and she didn’t know what came over her in this moment to try her luck- to see if it still pulled the same, to see if it was still like lighting a fuse, to see if he remembered her. She couldn’t help herself taking in his relaxation into her hands and watching him push his glasses off, “Ah..yeah uh...You’re just gonna have to come back for the second..revision...tomorrow- I..I don’t think I’m gonna get this done,” he said, rubbing his face and taking a few more breaths before taking both her hands in his swiftly and gently, bringing them on top of one another, and closing them in his as he directed her to come from behind him. He locked eyes with her as he slowly stood up, towering over her as he let her hands fall, hearing the light gasp as her hands fell. The lanky man turned back around, having already excusing himself past her to start gathering the papers on the table, at her noise, “You alright, doll?” he asked plainly and still killed her.
Leda knew somewhere that maybe if she could admit her side of the story, things would be smoother. She could definitely talk to Ro about Cyr than to Cyr about Ro, and since no one can know, it felt even more important. She admired all the people around and the new faces for a mundane weekday on campus as she strolled onto Greek Row, seeing the lights on and the Congratulations banner still up from his apparent celebration. Vincent felt the shiver again as he put his shirt back on and played it off by adjusting it. Ro was long gone, but it was another isolated moment of quick stimulation. All she ever wants is to be touched, and he knew all the right spots and loved the noises she made when he did get them just the right way. It didn’t worry Leda much that Ro wasn’t answering her phone at this time of day, she probably fell asleep after a brisk walk with Cookie. Joey sang her praises for her return and spoke of the boy who’s car she’d stolen and no longer had. “Leda~..wow...I wasn’t sure what happened, but you can come get all your stuff- uh...I dunno if you wanna talk or anything-”
“Who is she?” Leda asked, pushing past him and wiped her finger across his lips then showing him, “Whoever it is, it’s a cute color..”
“Leda, I think you owe me an explanation-” he said flatly, pulling off his shirt entirely and wiping his face.
“Is my room in here still good?” she asked as she immediately started picking out and finding clothes. She was safe here again, she didn’t need to hide. 
“I let them give it up for more room, we had an influx of- Stop that...Leda, talk to me-” he said, strolling over before getting a hand to the chest.
“Congrats on becoming President, baby~! How about..we celebrate?..Just you and me! Just like before! Hm? I wanna take a shower first, though, cus I’ve been...traveling all day,” she led him into the bathroom as she turned the shower on.
“Can we talk while you shower?” he asked, standing and filling the doorway, “You know this whole suite is mine. So it really is just us.”
“Nah..you, me, the spirits I brought with me and that are on these grounds, the gods and goddesses, and Rosanna’s lace dainties?” she said as she picked the light lace cheeky underwear on the bathroom floor, “Let me take my shower alone, please.”
~
Vincent sat out and cleaned up his room a little bit, chain-smoking as he wasn’t sure what was going to happen when the girl got out of the bathroom. Leda didn’t really understand how she felt the way she did, and why she wasn’t angry at Ro. Why was it a little more interesting to know she was still going to Cyr to get her rocks off? She opened the door to Vincent’s surprise, not wearing anything else but her t-shirt bra and a dainty lace thong. Her hair falling over her curves just right, and he couldn’t help but follow her with his eyes. She had grown up into her shape more, maybe not as much colour on her still plush soft skin, but there’s now tattoos and her hair is as vibrant a colour can be when he met her. She smiled at him, even though she wasn’t smiling on the inside, and she straddled his waist on his bed. She lured him into a kiss and an energy boost he’d missed from her- the world felt more at balance and it made sense with their lips pushed together. “I missed you..so much..” he breathed, unable to hold back his overwhelming comfort.
“Your car broke down and I left it on the side of the road in Oregon..I sold the drugs out the trunk and ran into some ex...problems,” Leda started, “Did some cat and mouse and travelling and yeah..I..I missed you, too Vincent~” 
“That’s fine...but..why’d you leave in the first place?” Vincent asked laying back as she worked on kissing his neck and grinding. The girl stopped and avoided his eyes, “Leda...Leda baby you can tell me..I’ve been waiting about a year to know...” he reassured her as he leaned up to embrace her and kiss her shoulder.
“I-....I..He said he was gonna find me, and the stick had a plus on it and I was gonna show you when we got home, but even I didn’t wanna go home so...” she stiffened as she explained, moving her fringe out of her face, shrugging.
“You were pregnant?” he asked, eyes immediately darting down, “Did you lose it?”
“I...I just didn’t want you to get upset and I didn’t want him to find me if I-”
“Ok Ok...I don’t care about that..What happened to the baby, Leda?” he asked her pulling her in and rubbing her back.
“I lost her...” her voice broke, “I can’t have kids...he’ll find me. He did this to me...”
“Hey, hey, hey...Hey, look at me, Leeds. Alright?..I’m not mad about the car..I’m not mad that you had to handle things with your ex..and I’m not mad about the baby...” Vincent said, “I just wanted to know if you were ok..And that I wasn’t holding your stuff and you didn’t need it anymore..”
Leda couldn’t help her tears and was so glad she had a fresh naked face to let herself cry in. “I-I-It’s not that I didn’t want her, I just..she didn- I dunno what happened...” she tried to say while she cried.
“It’s alright, babe..Don’t worry. She’ll come when she’s ready, okay? And when she does I have no doubt she’ll be as beautiful, smart, and creative as her wonderful mother,” Vincent said, rubbing her back some more, “Listen, next time you get knocked up, I’ll take care of you...I’ll make sure nothing happens to you...I’ll keep you safe.”
“Vincent~ you can’t..no one can..he’s always gonna find me,” Leda whined, shaking her head quickly, “He’ll kill you.”
“Not if I kill him first and even then, I’m giving all of this to you. You deserve not to worry. You deserve safety, babe,” he said, “Is that why you were at my apartment?’
“Yes, but you don’t live there anymore-”
“I’m subleasing until I graduate from here...or I get tired of these people finally,” he chided.
“And how long do you think that’s going to last?..Especially if it’s you and Ro..” she started chuckling lightly.
“I don’t think it’s gonna be me and Ro for much longer, anyway,” he sighs, letting the girl off his lap and onto his bed as he got up to start turning the lights down and closing off his room from his office, “Don’t get me wrong- it’s exciting! It really is, but she shouldn’t be doing that. She’s...gonna need that wakeup call.”
Leda sat and waited for him and lit one of his cigs from the box on the nightstand even though he opted for the little glass tube, “What do you mean?”
“She’s still careless, she’s playing with fire...She didn’t want everybody to know but she’s had-like- two scares...She’s gonna tell you when she finds out that you’re back,” he said, hushing his voice like she was in his office. Leda was shocked to say the least, but she liked Vincent for that: he held onto the only side of her she was never proud of.
“Like...pregnancy scares-”
“No STI- yes pregnancy scares! Told me that she didn’t want to get rid of the kid but didn’t want to think of losing the life she was building with Mark and wanted all of the kids she had to be in their happily ever after or whatever shit...you know Rosie..” Vincent snapped, clearly still emotional and indignant, smoking more frequently as he stress-cleaned his room. Leda was stunned. It wasn’t exactly something she expected from someone who craved so much stability and control- safety. 
“How...”
“She disappeared. Like three times, She told everyone she went to visit family. I saw her and she stayed with me for like..a few days..and we just hung out how she wanted us to. She never left because nobody could know that she was back yet. So when she did return it was like she picked up Cookie from the sitter on her way home from the airport...I liked it, but..when she told me all of that over those days and she told me about being President and how she would eventually hate me enough to overthrow me and then she’ll have her life with Mark and I’ll leave the Youni...”
“So then...when’s the last time you saw Ro?” Leda asked, frightened slightly by what she heard. And part of her wanted to fight her. It wasn’t much of her business but as a friend and as a human that’s not something she should get away with. 
“You didn’t see her going to the Vice President’s suite?..Or the girls’ side? Kitchen?...Cus she literally just left when you had knocked on my door,” Vincent paused and stared at her with a squint.
“Nope,” Leda admitted shaking her head and threw her hands up, “Honestly I didn’t really get here until I told you I lost the baby and by then I kinda knew that I could let it go I guess..because now I feel fine..”
“Weird...I had a weird feeling the whole time she was here that someone was coming..I didn’t think they were alive so I didn’t think anything of it...This is all..you know, Indigenous grounds, not necessarily burial, but sacred space tends to pop up when they’re talking...”
“That’s weird...but highly likely..Western U.S. does have some crazy energy pockets,” Leda said, blushing a little that he knew she was coming, “Are they leftover or residual? The panties, I mean..” She giggled.
“I couldn’t tell ya, but I’d have to guess that she left those in my bathroom because it was very apparent she wasn’t wearing any, but I thought she had come over commando..Didn’t think she committed to the idea while she was in the bathroom. I guess that’s what she’s gonna wait for me to say something about. Can’t lie, I’m gonna miss how smart she is,” he said with a smile and waves of realization of what he liked about the girl after not knowing for so long.
“Clearly not smart enough,” Leda scoffed, “If she’s pulling the ‘I had to go to my mother’s for a summer so I can have an abortion and therapy’ this early in the relationship and they’re still going strong, maybe it’s that you’re not gonna judge her and she can kinda reward herself with you and vice versa- definitely a karmic soulmate...” She smiled again as she realized that they might be a particular soulmate or at least spiritual partner. “Vincent, sit down, please,” she asked sweetly. He sat back down and she rubbed his shoulders, sighing, “I’m sorry, Vince...Like that’s really shitty and I’m..so..sorry, babe..but like that’s what happens when you gamble.”
“It would help if you’d taken responsibility for running out on me fucking months ago,” Vincent bit at her, “Maybe I wouldn’t have leaned on her so much...chasing fucking waterfalls,” he scoffed.
“Wow you’re really gonna sit here and blame me?” she backed up, raising her voice.
“No! I said take some fucking responsibility! Like do you understand how you’re no better sometimes?” he said.
“Oh my- FUCK YOU! Who the fuck are you?!” Leda snapped, shoving his shoulder and getting up.
“Will you keep your voice down?!” he whispered quickly standing up and taking her arm in his hand gently.
“Don’t fucking touch me!-”
“Or what?! You’ll scream? Ro’s gonna come rushing back in here to check on me to find what? Us fucking fighting about her and as far as she knows you dropped out of school,” Vincent breathed, “No one..and I mean no one..knows about any of that.-”
“WHy are you still trying to defend her?!” she growled as she fights him.
“Same reason I defend you, but not the same because you’re not about to marry some meathead to forget your slutty phase,” he mentioned and the girl released her grip, “Also again with the dick jealousy and arousal over your friend and you screwing me.”
“Stop saying that! It’s not fucking true!” she snapped at him.
“I’ve been talking to college girls for a long time. This is the most bisexual thing two straight girls can do is fuck the same guy and give the guy shit for getting off on the fact that at least one of you wants to fuck their lunchbox friend...and right now, you’re the mad at the Snowflake Queen, Needy.”
Leda stopped and looked at him, “Did you really just use that reference?” 
“It’s true. No matter the reference. I’ve told you that before-”
“You didn’t-”
“Yes I did, you just forgot because we were having fun...you know..dating,” Vincent lit his cig, handing it to her, “My whole thing is I wanted you to have fun without living in Rosie’s shadow.”
“Don’t do that,” she said, smoking quickly going back to the bed before he takes her hand and twirls her and dips her.
“What?” he said.
“Don’t call her Rosie,” she said, blushing hard.
“Why? Cus you’d call her Rosie?” he asked, shotgunning a hit with her.
“Stop saying I wanna fuck Ro, cus I don’t,” she giggled.
“You’d watch me fuck her though,” he inserted, putting the butt in the ashtray as he pulled her in, “Or vice versa.”
“She said she would?” she asked, furrowing her brows.
“Needy, when I say she’s never been worried about you when she’s with me, she’s not. I don’t push her, either. Like I think about you if she says or does something that reminds me of you but other than that she’s in her own little world with me,” Vincent said, caressing the girl, looking away to think. 
“Stop calling me Needy, I clearly look like Megan Fox,” she said, meaning to put herself down.
“No, you’re Needy at the end of the movie after she’s been affected by Jennifer,” he explained, “You were simping and running and screaming while getting teased the whole movie then at the end, even though you kinda lost your guy, you’ll get more..and it’s kinda because she took what was meant for you..even if it killed her..”
“Wow..Vincent..did you just say you loved me even if it kills Ro?” Leda asked, smirking wildly.
“Yeah I guess so.”
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rimalovegood · 4 years
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Crossing the line- LeviathanxReader
omg! I swear I didn’t think this game would take over my life so quickly or that this shy otaku boy would grow up in me so much...especially since I don’t tend to like character with similar traits to me (let’s be honest in real life Levi and I would be a complete mess because we both are socially awkward otakus who feel uncomfortable with human contact) but here I am and I regret nothing...
Fandom: Obey me!
Pairing: Leviathan x Female!Main Character
Genre: Tooth-rooting fluff
Word count: 926
Warning: just two shy idiots being shy
Summary: MC knows Levi dislike human contact, he is uncomfortable with any kind of romantic interaction and basically only feels attracted to fictional characters. She understands that so she decided she was fine with being just friends but as the demon starts yet again talking about how “unlikable” he was she lost her patience and ended up revealing her true feelings...much to both dismay.
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It had been an accident. At least she thought it had been… maybe somewhere, deep in her heart, she had meant for it to happen, it didn’t stop the heat for going right to her face to the point she resembled more of a tomato than a person though.
Stupid handsome Levi and his stupid insecurities…it was all his fault. She had been fine with her decision. She knew fully well he only saw her as a friend and she was truly happy to be called his “true friend”. She was perfectly content keeping her big stupid unrequited crush for herself. Even if the planets aligned and the demon were to develop romantic feelings for someone it was highly unlikely it would be her, she had too many dimensions for his taste to start with…and even if she dared to hope, she knew pretty well their time together was running thin on an impressive speed. There was no point in revealing the truth and risking how little time they had left to spend together.
She had promised herself she’d lock those feelings deep inside her heart, enjoy the rest of the exchange program with her friends and leave with a smile.
Yet she had blown it all up in a feeble attempt to quell his deeply rooted inferiority complex. Like if knowing that a simple human girl like her liked him would make any difference.
She dared to look at the speechless demon in front of her. His blush rivaled hers but unlike the girl his eyes were wide open and fixed on her with such intent one would think she had grown a third eye. Usually upon getting embarrassed Leviathan would cover his gaping mouth with his hands but the situation had been so unbelievable for him he hadn’t even bothered to.
-you…you like me?...-he finally broke the silence- like really like me?... like not as a friend…but you know, romantic liking?
He seemed to be having problems wrapping his head around the concept and even through her own embarrassment MC couldn’t help but find it both cute and infuriating. How couldn’t he see how adorable and funny and fucking hot he was? She knew his shyness and somewhat brusque demeanor would be a turn off for a lot of people but she found even that a little attractive and was completely positive she wasn’t alone on that… since she had already messed up she figured she could at least let him know how wrong he was in saying “nobody would ever fall in love with an awkward otaku guy”
-I do… sorry, I know you have no interest in 3D girls…and I didn’t mean to make things uncomfortable between us, because I really like being your friend but I can’t change how I feel… you don’t need to give me an answer, we can continue as this never happened if you still want us to be friends or I´ll keep my distance till the exchange program ends if that makes you feel more comfortable…I just couldn’t stand hearing you put yourself down that way when I just think you are the best…please, say something.
MC could feel the tears forming in the corners of her eyes, she wanted to run away and hide on her room till the end of semester, the embarrassment was overwhelming and the fact the Leviathan was still looking at her with such astonishment only made it worst.
Several tense seconds passed and he didn’t seem to come back to his senses. He guts told her the truth she hadn’t want to accept. There was no way back, she had ruined everything they had built up together, with just a few words she had completely destroyed their relationship.
-I’ll be going, sorry again-she turned to walk to the door but as she move to take the first step she felt something pulling her leg back. As she looked down she found Levi’s black tail curled around her ankle.
-Sorry…it was a reflex-he muttered as the snake-like appendage freed her
-You don’t want me to leave?-she asked, her voice raising a tone to match the unspoken hope she didn’t want to have.
-no…but don’t turn around-he rushed as she tried to face him-it’s…easier this way
-it’s fine…I understand
-you always do…this is so unfair…why are you so comprehensive with me? How can you so easily accept all my weird habits?... I’m such a mess when it comes to you… I can´t even look at you to the face and tell you I like you… you deserve so much better than me….
“I like you”
All the rest of his sulking got drowned on those 3 words. Did he really mean that?
-Is that true?-she muttered fearing that by saying it out loud would change the answer- you aren’t just saying it to spare my feelings? You like me back?
-How couldn’t I?
-I mean…I’m not exactly Ruri-chan…
-It’s a different kind of like…I mean, you have your husbandos too
-I guess you a right
She giggled and for the first time since the conversation had started Levi smiled.
-Can I turn now?-she asked not bothering to hide her excitement anymore
-Not yet-he slowly walked reducing the distance between them and wrapped his arms around her waist causing a new surge of blood to rush to the girl’s cheeks. After a few seconds he felt a little more confident and rested his head on one of her shoulders-I knew it…this feels right…
-It really does-she smiled nuzzling her cheek against his hair.
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walq-chan · 4 years
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Obey me! Headcanons
Hello everyone. :)
 Today I will give you a headcanon about how the brothers react to a sad, crying and painful MC.
I know that a lot of girls who suffer with their periods (at least mine is a nightmare, I get  myself tired, have headaches and terrible colic) , so this is how I imagine those guys will react under a situation where MC are feeling like this.
Hope you like it and forgive me for my shit english.
LUCIFER
• Offers to look for some medicine that makes her feel better.  (The only pain he likes you to feel is when he "disciplines" you)
 • Makes you rest in his room so he can keep an eye on you while you work.
 • He allows himself to pamper yourself a little, since you are in great discomfort.
 • He buys some super expensive chocolate to try to cheer you up.
 • Tries not to look afflicted, but deep in his soul, his is uncomfortable because you are unable to do anything else.
MAMMON
• He is immediately desperate, then pretends not to care, which lasts for 5 minutes.  When he gives up pretending, he spends the day, distressed, beside his bed.
 • He asks 500 times when you are going to stop bleeding.
 • Asks every half hour if you are okay, really okay.
 • He tries not to make a noise, but ends up making even more noise because he can't hide that he is worried about you.
 • At the end of the day you are the one who will be comforting him, because he cried every time you said he was in pain.
LEVIATHAN
 • Instantly blushing when he finds out that 3D girls bleed.
 • Gets himself concerned because all the spirit you had to play video games with him has disappeared with the pain you are feeling.
 • He offers to buy some medicine online if it makes you go back to being your normal normie.
 • Hold your hand while playing, in an attempt to help reduce your discomfort.
 SATAN
 • He is concerned, but maintains his cynical smile to try to calm himself internally.
 • Search endlessly for information on how to treat menstrual cramps in books from the human world
 • Bring you chamomile tea to relieve some of your discomfort (you read this in a book)
 • Spends the day reading near to your bed.
 ASMODEUS
 • He tries to cheer you up by saying how beautiful you are, even in pajamas and looking pained.
 •  Doesn't say it explicitly, but suggests that sex can help relieve your symptoms
 • Brings tea and cookies to try to cheer you up
 • Takes you to take a hot bath, with relaxing salts, in the giant bathtub he has in the bathroom
 BEELZEBU
 • All his body shows how concerned he is. You almost can see his abs crying as much as his eyes.
 • Brings tons of ice cream and chocolate to try to cheer you up (and try to stop himself from devouring everything)
 • Embraces you whenever you feel pain.
 • Spend the day by your side, holding your hand.
 • Kiss your forehead whenever you are emotional.
 BELPHEGOR
 • He is distressed to see you in pain.
 • Clearly unhappy that his partner needs to go through this.
 • Suggests that sleeping could help to improve discomfort.
 • Offers to be your full body pillow, but only this time.
 • Spends the day hugging you to keep you warm and cozy.
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kaschra · 4 years
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Shingeki no Kyojin Chapter 132
Uh oh... they leave the bombs attached to the plane... I fear someone will use it to do a little kamikaze stunt. Yeah, I got a really bad feeling about this...
Awww poor Falco... Gabi looks totally dead inside too
Mikasa’s reaction when she realises that Annie has a crush on Armin LMAO
It really hurts me to see humanity’s strongest soldier reduced to this. Levi can barely even walk anymore at this point, which in itself is almost a miracle
Huh, a weapon to take down the founding titan exists? (I’m not sure how correct these translations are, so I gotta take everything with a grain of salt)
Levi can barely even hold the 3D gear sword anymore. Fuck
Aww that little hug between Annie and Reiner :’(
What if the other characters winking back in this scene (aka Jean and Connie) are gonna die soon too? Isayama, is this foreshadowing?!
Gabi, Falco, Annie, Kiyomi and Yelena stayed behind on the ship, and I fucking hope no bullshit happens to them :/
That little goodbye between Armin and Annie. I hope they’ll see each other again, but in THIS manga that’s not likely at all
Oh no, what Hanji said was eerily similar to Erwin’s words (again). Oof
THANK YOU MIKASA for killing that rat Floch. Good fucking riddance, I can’t stand this guy  and his neverending bullshit ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
But thanks to his bullshit, they need to fix the plane again and the rumbling is approaching. At least he didn’t outright kill anyone himself, just... indirectly
did that colossal titan just kung fu kick lol
yeah sorry, I like Armin but Jean is simply better leader material than he is. Jean has shown time and time again that he can make hard decisions under pressure. But maybe he’ll die soon and that’s why Armin was picked, I dunno
and here we are. At the end of Hanji’s life. It still feels so unreal. They try to joke around, but the fear is written all over their face
that goodbye between Hanji and Levi was quick, but sad. Levi has lost each and every friend he ever had now
Hanji showing us their badass side one last time. Taking down several colossal titans before fucking burning to death. Damn
Aaaand here come the fucking tears... because... all the fallen survey corps soldiers are welcoming Hanji.
We will hear Erwin’s voice again in Season 4 OH MY GOOOOD 😭
Moblit is helping Hanji up. SOMEONE HOLD ME
So what the fuck just happened? Is this simply part of Hanji’s  dying   imagination? Or is it the Shingeki no Kyojin version of the afterlife? Maybe a kind of Valhalla, since the manga draws heavy inspiration from norse mythology? Has its anything to do with paths?
It’s different than the other times we’ve seen such hallucinations, since this time the dead characters are not just a memory or standing around silently, this time they actually interact and react to their surroundings
Maybe Isayama will never explicitly tell us what happened, and leave it up to our own imagination. Honestly, I think this would be for the best.
anyway the last two pages make me bawl
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arcticdementor · 3 years
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Warning: a longpost
Tensions between the social effects and "imperatives" of technological developments and elements of our human natures are not new — people have been debating it as far back as Diogenes, Confucius, and Laozi. But in recent discussions, I note a rather stark polarity.
On the one end, you have the people for whom the human must be subordinated to the technological. Issues created by technology cannot be fought, only individually adapted to, mostly via more technology. The people who will admit — or even go on at length — about the toxicity of social media… and yet for whom the idea of actually doing anything about it — other than individually tuning out if you can — is anathema, and they react with horror when you raise the possibility. People whose response to widespread obesity, particularly among the poor, as a result of modern lifestyles is pushing bariatric surgery (like some doctors friends and family have dealt with). Or at further extreme, singularitarian or singularitarian-adjacent ends, the people who look at our society's increasing difficulty producing future generations, and say either that it's no biggie because Any Day Now™ we'll cure aging and no longer need future generations, or it's no biggie because Any Day Now™ we'll figure out the tech for mass-manufacture of future generations like Brave New World or Battletech's Clans. At the furthest, you have the people who take the Marxist arguments about the "inherent contradictions" between industrial "capitalism" and human flourishing… and say 'so much the worse for humanity; time to start engineering the AI corporations to replace us dumb monkeys' like Nick Land.
Then you have the people at the other end, who go Luddite. Again, you can go back to filthy hobo Diogenes for this one. You've got the "environmentalists" who see anything more advanced than being a hunter-gatherer as the "rape of Mother Nature" and who unironically quote Agent Smith. Then there's the Right-wing primitivists who note that preindustrial societies cannot afford much leftism, and therefore argue that giving up electricity, indoor plumbing, medicine that works, etc. (let alone escaping this small, fragile planet) are all a small price to pay to Own the Libs.
But Confucius, while acknowledging that the creations of the Sage Kings, in bringing us from the "Greater Harmony" to the "Lesser Peace," created a certain tension between societal requirements and our human nature, pointed out that such things, like buildings, and clothing, and fire, and agriculture, and writing, et cetera, are worth the trade-off as opposed to a more natural lifestyle as naked cavemen. But, accepting the trade-off doesn't mean we can't do things to ameliorate those tensions and try to reduce the negative impacts.
Tyler Cowen posited his future Average Is Over dystopia of the vast majority of the population relegated to being impoverished, packed into overcrowded favelas eating beans and bugs, pacified by VR, drugs, and omnipresent government surveillance and enforcement… and when confronted about the undesirability of such and how we might avoid it, simply proclaims it inevitable: the Economy has spoken, and we humans can only obey its dictates. Whatever happened to the idea that our tools and our economy exist to serve us, and our human needs, rather than us existing to serve their needs? Okay, probably most people who held that view from a secular perspective likely ended up embracing Marxism as the means of doing so, and then Marxism failed. (This links in to my unwritten potential post about how Wokism is neither Marxist nor postmodern, despite drawing partially from both.) And those who did so from a religious perspective ended up divided by their various specific sectarian views and given to "solutions" that boil down to unsupported individual piety — or else, being the Amish.
There's that whole bit about "unless you're over 60, you weren't promised flying cars. You were promised an oppressive cyberpunk dystopia." And plenty of people have covered this ground before, about how our visions of technological progress used to be about how it would make our lives better and allow us to better pursue our various human ends, but now are all about how it will make our lives worse and force us to pursue its various inhuman ends. Even the few "optimistic" visions are hyper-individualist, and when confronted about man's nature as a social animal, either insist that said needs will be met through "relationships" with individualized AI surrogates (the whole "2d > 3d," yay sexbots view), or else that the need for human connection will prove yet another "flaw" to be engineered out in whatever manner of "posthuman" creatures replace us.
I look back on those more optimistic visions. At what past societies considered a better future, before we gave up on it. And I note how even the utopian visions of 19th century socialists are, compared to our day, rather spectacularly un-Woke — and definitely better than 'soypunk dystopia, but at least with rainbow flags and nobody being misgendered while they toil for Amazon.'
And, of course, if you go further back, you eventually end up before any serious ideas of progress. Then, ideas about a better world were not speculations about the future, but about the afterlife. I recall a couple of discussions about Bleach, Soul Society, and the average Tenth Century Japanese peasant's idea of Paradise; or (IIRC, prompted by some terrible "humanity curbstomps the invading Legions of Hell who are wielding Bronze Age weapons against modern militaries" story on SpaceBattles) what a Bronze Age goat-herder would consider Heaven?
Are subordination to technological imperatives or Luddism really the only two choices? Are we really left with either the poor afflicted with starvation or the poor afflicted with obesity? For those of us who find the society "progress" has created increasingly alienated, and who prefer older visions and modes of living more attractive, is total renunciation and "going full Amish" really the only alternative?
I look at writers like Chesterton and Lewis and Tolkien, and their ideal social structures, and I think, isn't there some way that technological progress can be channeled towards allowing us — or, at least those of us who want to — to achieve a better, more comfortable, more broadly-available, less labor-intensive version of the Shire Hobbit lifestyle, rather than better digital circuses to numb us while we all eat bugs in our dorm tubes in Scat Francisco?
Or, for those of you so inclined, a better, more comfortable, more broadly-available, less labor-intensive version of the Oscar Wilde lifestyle? After all, I note that a perennial condemnation of aristocrats has been about what big, degenerate perverts they are behind closed doors — that de Sade got in trouble, more for atheism, but also for the "writing publicly about it" part? I mean, aside from maybe @ponteh2dhh1ksdiwesph2tres, where are the people trying to work out, instead of "Fully-Automated Luxury Gay Space Communism," how we might create "Fully-Automated Decadent Space Aristocracy"? Where are the people trying to use computers and AI to create a better version of the Imperial court of Elagabalus without all the slavery and need for foreign conquest to pay for its orgies?
Is there even a term for this idea, of using technology to create better versions of the past, rather than simply letting "progress" take us wherever it will, and all negative consequences treated as simply things we must each individually struggle to avoid and cope with, with all of us in competition against one another to become one of those chosen few ultra-rich tech overlords wealthy enough to escape living in the favelas, the few powerful enough to avoid ruination should one end up on the wrong end of Twitter cancelation?
Wow. Look at me, gloomy pessimist that I am, actually calling for some optimism and hope for the future. Yeah, I probably shouldn't have even bothered with the effort of writing this post. Because of course the only possible futures are all terrible.
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yeonchi · 3 years
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Doctor Who 2021 New Year’s Special Review: Revolution of the Daleks
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Air date: 1 January 2021
New Year’s Day is the new Christmas Day for Doctor Who. Two years ago, I was writing the review for the 2019 New Year’s Special, Resolution. One year ago, I was writing the review for the first episode of Series 12, Spyfall Part One (which essentially served as the 2020 New Year’s Special). Today, I'm writing this review for the 2021 New Year’s Special. Whether the change was because of political correctness, low ratings or just to change up the status quo, I think we should be glad that we even have a festive special, unlike the English dubs on Koei Tecmo’s Warriors games.
Amazingly, this special was filmed alongside Series 12 last year and kept on hold to today, meaning that production was largely unaffected by the coronavirus. Even with the anticipation and uncertainty for Series 13, which has already been reduced to eight episodes (with festive special status unknown), this episode serves as a good icebreaker given everything that’s happened in 2020 and the Timeless Child arc of Series 12.
Here is my spoiler-free thought for this episode: “It’s epic, heartbreaking and ridiculous at the same time.”
Spoilers continue after the break. Also, please don’t forget to check out my look at Doctor Who: Lockdown and the hiatusbreaker update for some post-Series 12 review thoughts.
Introduction
Chibnall mentioned that the recon scout Dalek from Resolution give birth to the new Dalek variant that was seen in this episode, thus making this episode a sequel to said episode. As such, this was the case.
367 minutes (about 6 hours) after the Doctor and her extended fam fought the recon scout Dalek at GCHQ, its shell was recovered. Jo Patterson, then Technology Secretary, tipped Jack Robertson (he will be referred to by his surname hereafter to differentiate him from Jack Harkness) off about it and managed to acquire it. After acquiring the plants of car firms that had abandoned Patterson and Rugazzi Technologies, Leo’s company, Robertson had defence drones developed (and 3D printed) based on the design of the Dalek’s shell.
The production of this episode was concluded by April 2020, with Chibnall stating that post-production work was continuing during the lockdown. This was before the death of George Floyd and the Black Lives Matter protests, meaning that the scene showing the testing of the defence drones was likely inspired from the Hong Kong protests. We see people throwing bricks and molotov cocktails, and the Dalek is shown to be fitted with a water cannon, CS gas sprayer and a sonic deterrent. That’s about all the allusion we get - if we had any more then we would have had a serious problem.
Doctor and companions separated
At the end of The Timeless Children, the Doctor was sentenced to life imprisonment in a maximum-security prison, while Graham, Ryan and Yaz were brought back to Earth along with Ravio, Yedlarmi and Ethan. We don’t get to see those three in the episode, sadly.
Over the next ten months, Graham and Ryan had moved on with their lives while Yaz became obsessed with finding the Doctor (yeah, just forget that you have a family and a job as a policewoman lol). Graham shows Yaz some leaked footage of Robertson at the defence drone testing. They go to confront Robertson, but are turned away by his security guards.
Meanwhile, the Doctor had been in prison for decades, accompanied by a Weeping Angel, an Ood, a Sycorax, a Silent and even a Pting. Unbeknownst to her, Captain Jack Harkness had managed to get into the same prison as her, spending 19 years just to get the cell next to her, before making himself known and breaking out of the prison together. The Doctor and Jack head to Graham’s house, where they catch up and set out to find Jack Robertson.
There are a couple of one-to-one scenes that really got me thinking. When Jack and Yaz investigate traces of Dalek DNA in Osaka, they talk about their separation from the Doctor and what their time with the Doctor has changed them into. Jack tells Yaz, “Being with the Doctor, you don’t get to choose when it stops. Whether you leave her, or she leaves you.”
Let’s break that line down with information from the TARDIS Wiki page on companions. There are several ways that a companion can join the Doctor - they stow away on the TARDIS, they were “kidnapped”, or were assigned by higher powers, like UNIT, the Time Lords or the White Guardian. Just like that, there are several ways that companions leave the Doctor - they might choose to leave, the Doctor decides or is forced to leave them behind, or they die.
The interesting thing is that Jack says that they don’t get to choose when they leave. In the case of companions who decided to leave of their own will, you might think it was an easy decision for them, but in truth, there is context behind their motivation to leave. In Series 2, Mickey Smith stayed on Pete’s World to help defeat the Cybermen after that world’s counterpart of himself (Ricky) died and he became increasingly disillusioned with Rose favouring the Doctor over himself. In Series 3, Martha Jones decided to leave the Doctor after seeing her family enslaved by the Master for a year, travelling around the world to get people to think of the Doctor, and realising that her feelings for him would never be reciprocated. In the classic series, Tegan Jovanka left the Fifth Doctor after being sickened by the death and destruction she witnessed. From this, I can deduce that what Jack meant to say isn’t that the companions don’t get to choose when they leave, but that they don’t get to choose the circumstances that lead to them leaving. In some cases, that also applies to the companions who get left behind by the Doctor or killed.
The other one-to-one is between Ryan and the Doctor in the TARDIS. The Doctor apologises to Ryan for leaving him, Graham and Yaz behind for ten months and Ryan tells him that during this time his relationship with his father has improved and that he got to catch up with friends. Ryan asks the Doctor what has changed with her since they last met and the Doctor tells her that she isn’t who she thought she was (that storyline’s never going to go away, isn’t it? Hope to learn about the full story of the Timeless Child in Series 13). This scene really highlights how the companions can be a source of support for the Doctor, just as the Doctor is a source of support for them.
Ryan tells the Doctor that she is the same as she has always been. The Doctor comforts herself by saying that nothing’s changed, but Ryan says that it wasn’t what he meant; things change all the time and we might be scared of the new, but in the end, we have to confront the new, or the old. This bit was definitely made with the Timeless Child twist in mind. Yes, things change (particularly when it comes to Doctor Who), but some changes can be good or bad; just as there are people who saw the Timeless Child twist as good, there are people who saw it as bad (including myself). It’s like what I said in the hiatusbreaker update about The Timeless Children pulling an Ultraman Orb and trying to lessen the impact of the twist when it didn’t make sense and caused more damage than expected.
Human-created Daleks (sort of)
When the recon Dalek’s shell was salvaged, some traces of its DNA remained in it. Since, according to Missy in The Witch’s Familiar, every cell of a Dalek is genetically hardwired to survive, their consciousness can live within the tiniest fragment of their DNA. Leo managed to clone the recon scout Dalek out of those traces and hooked it into the neural network. Disgusted after being shown the creature, Robertson tells Leo to incinerate it, but when he tries to do so, it escapes and takes possession of him. In a way, the recon scout Dalek was resurrected in this episode, but it didn��t feel like the same character.
While hooked into the neural network, the Dalek managed to make more clones of itself using Robertson’s resources, feeding them with the liquefied remains of the people who worked on them. After being confronted by the Doctor and the others, the Dalek uses the UV light to activate the Daleks, transport themselves into the shells that it augmented, then kills Rob and begins subjugating Earth.
Just as Jo Patterson introduces the defence drones in her first speech as Prime Minister, she gets exterminated by them quickly after they are activated. If Jack Robertson is an expy of Donald Trump, then Jo Patterson is an expy of Theresa May - a forgettable Prime Minister whose claim to fame (defence drones for the former, Brexit for the latter) backfired on them. To be honest, when I heard that they would be in this special, I almost thought that they got married or something.
There was a similar situation like this in the Series 3 two-parter, Daleks in Manhattan and Evolution of the Daleks, only this time, the Daleks were more involved. In that story, the Cult of Skaro were attempting to find a way to survive beyond the Dalek shell, to the point of creating Dalek-human hybrids, a new race with the intelligence of Daleks but with the emotions of humans. In both cases, the new Dalek variants were considered impure due to the human elements within them.
I’ve compared this episode to Victory of the Daleks when the trailer came out. With the addition of the conflict between the two Daleks (as I will outline below), there are additional contrasts to the Seventh Doctor story Remembrance of the Daleks and the Big Finish Eighth Doctor audio story Blood of the Daleks.
The nuclear option
With thousands of defence drone Daleks on the move and no weapons to deal with them, the Doctor seems to do the only thing she can think of that doesn’t involve destroying the Earth ala the Moment (which was what I was thinking) - signal a ship of Death Squad Daleks (SAS Daleks, but more brutal) to Earth to deal with the impure defence drones.
The two groups of Daleks confront each other on a bridge (specifically the Clifton Suspension Bridge in Bristol). After seeing his Daleks get exterminated, Robertson takes his nuclear option - part with the Doctor and side with the Daleks. That’s right, Jack Robertson does an Utsumi (Nariaki Utsumi from Build, if you didn’t know) and sides with a race that would kill him the first chance they got. Give him a cane to break and we would have gotten the first tokusatsu meme in Doctor Who.
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For someone who seems to be so obsessed with protecting himself (normally by using other people), I must say that this was a strange step for Robertson to take. Given that Robertson is an expy of Trump, one can only wonder what Chibnall and people like him think of Trump. Would Trump sell himself or humanity out to invading aliens? Personally, I don’t think he’d be stupid enough to do so. I think he’d bomb them with everything he has.
Robertson convinces the Daleks to take them aboard their ship and meet their commander. Meanwhile, Jack, Graham and Ryan board the ship and plant explosives on it. Graham tries to get Ryan to fistbump him, but he just tells him to “stop talking weird”. We’re back, fellow kids. Missed us?
Robertson tells the Daleks that the Doctor summoned them. The original Dalek returns and offers to be purified, only to be exterminated. Graham, Ryan and Jack find Robertson and they get off the ship together just as it is destroyed.
The Doctor floats her TARDIS in the sky among the Daleks and lures them inside, which would normally be an impossible feat if it weren’t for the fact that it isn’t actually the Doctor’s TARDIS, but the other TARDIS from earlier. She sets it to fold in on itself and send itself to the heart of the Void, thereby destroying them.
Soon after that, Robertson claims that he was acting as a decoy and so, he is lauded as the saviour of humanity. A honorary knighthood and a revived presidential run is mentioned after the toxic waste scandal (Arachnids in the UK) ruined his previous attempt. This is where my comparison to Utsumi weakens - Utsumi pledged himself to Evolto so that he could find a way to bring him down, but there doesn’t seem to be any ulterior motive in Robertson’s actions. Frankly, I’m surprised that he wasn’t exterminated at all.
Parting ways (for now)
By the time Graham and Ryan return to the TARDIS, Jack has left and is on his way to see Gwen Cooper, who has apparently had another child, a son. Honestly, his departure feels quite lackluster.
The Doctor offers to take the fam to a restaurant apparently named the Meringue Galaxy, but Ryan decides to leave the Doctor since he believes that his friends and planet need him. Graham struggles to decide, but in the end, he decides to leave with Ryan, leaving the Doctor and Yaz on the TARDIS. The Doctor gives them some psychic paper as a parting gift.
The final scene is a throwback to the beginning of The Woman Who Fell to Earth. Graham is helping Ryan ride his bike when they bring up some strange incidents around the world, like a troll invasion in Finland or gravel creatures in Korea. Ryan begins riding his bike one more time when they see Grace looking back at them in the distance. This is the last episode where Ryan’s dyspraxia is explored. Shame Chibnall never managed to do a lot with it.
We’ve known that Graham and Ryan would be leaving the series for months now, and we’ve also known that there would be opportunities for them to return. Let’s hope we see them again in Series 13.
Going back to my discussion about companions leaving, the major factor in Ryan and Graham’s decision to leave was that they had spent ten months away from the Doctor and unlike Yaz, they had already moved on with their lives. Additionally, for Graham, he doesn’t want to leave Ryan given the relationship they built up during their time with Doctor and possibly also for fear of abandoning Ryan, given how his father wasn’t there for him previously. This doesn’t feel as deep compared to other companions’ motives for leaving the Doctor, but it’s still quite deep.
At the end of Can You Hear Me?, we see Ryan talking to Yaz about spending their lives with the Doctor and forgetting everyone back home. I’d always thought that the human element of being a companion was annoying, but we have to remember that companions are people too and they had their own lives before they met the Doctor.
Other general thoughts
I know this is kind of irrelevant given that this episode was produced at the end of 2019, but could Leo be considered an Uncle Tom for inventing something designed to suppress protesters? By the way, don’t let China know about this or we’re all screwed, even in Hong Kong or Taiwan.
Jack gets a gold star for rescuing the Doctor. That puts Jack and Graham at 10 points and Yaz and Ryan at 20.
Jack also has his sonic blaster back as well. Will Jack also be back for Series 13? We’ll just have to see it to believe it.
The title cards are jarring again. Can the production team not be inconsistent with their fonts?
I swear, all the Yaz favouritism in the last two series must have given her Stockholm syndrome. Who’s to say that Mandip Gill wanted to leave, but Chibnall asked her to stay?
Taking a look at the designs for the Daleks, the defence drones are alright. They glow a bluish-white colour normally, but they glow red and shoot red beams when the Dalek creatures took control of them. You could probably mistake them for being red in the dark, which is highlighted when they are shown shooting people in the streets. As for the Death Squad Daleks, they’re basically just the basic bronze Daleks, including their leader. They should’ve brought back the multicoloured New Paradigm Daleks just so the Death Squad Daleks could be differentiated from ordinary Daleks.
Following the premiere of this episode, a new companion was announced for Series 13, with John Bishop playing the role of Dan. Honestly, with the Timeless Child mystery still looming and the lack of character development for Yaz, a new companion is the last thing this series needs, particularly since Series 13 would be Jodie Whittaker’s third series and possibly, her final one (if we’re going by previous Doctors). At the moment, Bishop is currently isolating after being tested positive for the coronavirus. I wish him well and look forward to seeing him in Series 13.
The reduced number of episodes in Series 11 or 12 may have contributed to the lack of focus on Ryan’s dyspraxia or character development on Yaz, but that’s no excuse. Chibnall had plenty of opportunities to factor them in, but he was too focused on not having a story arc in Series 11 and destroying canon in Series 12 to even think about it (Graham and Ryan got more character development in those two series than Yaz did). Now that Series 13 has been reduced to eight episodes (not counting the possibility of a split series or another New Year’s Special out of the eight), I fear that Chibnall won’t have enough opportunity to factor in Dan’s character development with Yaz’s character development, the Timeless Child, Ruth and/or the Master, particularly when he delegates half of the series to other writers and does very few good things in the remaining episodes he writes (or co-writes). Honestly, Series 11 and 12 felt like a waste of time in some aspects.
Summary and verdict
Like I said at the start, this episode acted as a good icebreaker in the long break between series. However, ever since my red-pilling in The Timeless Children, I’ve started to see this series in a new light, particularly with the help of YouTubers like Bowlestrek or Nerdrotic. Despite this, I’m reluctant to hop on the #RIPDoctorWho bandwagon because we still don’t have the full details for the Timeless Child arc, so I’m reserving most of my judgement until we get it.
Most of the episode was good, but the ridiculous part for me was when Robertson Utsumi’d himself and somehow managed to survive. Jack’s departure felt lackluster, Ryan and Graham’s departure felt lackluster to other companions’ departures and Jo Patterson was just... ehh. Let’s not forget that we didn’t see or hear a mention of the surviving humans from the previous episode because Chibnall just forgot about them.
Rating: 6/10 Series 12 total: 77/100 (77%) Series 12 total with Revolution of the Daleks: 83/110 (75%)
Overall, this special brought down my total score for Series 12, but it still did slightly better compared to Series 11. If it weren’t for Jack Harkness, my score for the episode would have been lower. Robertson, being a Trump expy, essentially represented all the SJW red flags in this episode; pointing them out is unnecessary at this point given my red-pilling.
That’s it for my review of the New Year’s Special. There is a certainty that Series 13 will premiere this year, so the next time I return with another review will presumably be in late 2021. As long as Jodie Whittaker is the Doctor, my mission to review her episodes will continue. Follow me on Facebook and/or Tumblr and keep an eye out for my future posts, Doctor Who-related or otherwise, such as the Kisekae Insights series where I give insights on my personal project, which was heavily influenced by Doctor Who.
Stay safe and I’ll see you then.
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mytinyatlas · 3 years
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candid
I started telling a few people I interact with about the pregnancy. I’m 18 weeks now, so with each passing day I am a bit more hopeful that all of this is really happening. I have my 3D scan this upcoming Sunday, so I’m excited to see this little peanut. I’m surprised at how candid I’ve been to the people around me. I think there are a few factors to that contribute to this unexpected honesty. 
One: our interaction with people has reduced by so much that any form of human contact is welcomed
Two: a lot of people have gone through some form of struggle that it just makes our interactions more relatable and less about the work ahead, we are yearning for that human connection
The second reason has been particularly important and eye-opening because I didn’t realize just how many people had their own infertility and marital issues. To a few people, I have been pretty open about my condition, that we were informed of the minimal chance of a pregnancy, and just the concerns of the upcoming events. I hope these conversations have been reassuring to them - they have been for me at least. It also helps alleviate my excitement to share the news, it just makes everything more real. 
On the topic of being candid, I am so much more emotional as of late. Even a sentimental facebook post could cause a steady stream of tears. It is so weird.
The combination of pandemic quarantine, working from home, and pregnancy has caused me to care less and less about my outward appearance. It’s not an excuse, just that my priorities have shifted. Not that I used to spend an inordinate amount of time getting ready in the morning, but I spend even less now and it feels quite nice.
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So I’ve had a lot of time to reflect about my family situation. There are times when my relationship with my immediate family gets the best of me and I start looking down this abyss of loneliness. I start recalling all the bad things that happened in the past and think of all the things I wished had happened instead. I don’t know what it is that caused this rift, I’ve asked multiple times to only be told there is no underlying ill-will. But how do explain the treatment? But then I remind myself how fortunate I am. I have people who love me, a home, and a good job - and really that’s all that anyone can ask for. I sometimes don’t express all that bubbles underneath this surface. I feel like I have to remind myself constantly how lucky I am because that darkening voice is always there; waiting to pounce at any moment, judging, brooding, waiting to feed on any insecurity, just any opportunity to manifest. 
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Although I’m sure I look like the second lady, I feel like the first. I keep hugging my belly and “protecting” it. I look at it in awe every day, amazed that something is growing inside of me. Alright, I’m done gushing - hoping that whoever is reading this is having a wonderful day and always remember:
You is Kind, You is Smart, You is Important 
- Aibileen Clark
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hxneydreamers · 3 years
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Hi! You really look like someone who truly lives by the law and if you wanted you could literally manifest the craziest of things, even things that defy the laws of nature and physics and I'm wondering how do you personally view life and existence if you can have everything now with just an assumption? If you are so above everything in the universe? Doesn't this make you feel lonely? Don't your desires feel meaningless? I'm always moved by great stories (most of which have something tragic or sad or bittersweet) and I love being moved by such things and I ultimately want my life to be a good meaningful beautiful story and my fear is that by buying the pearl of great price I'll have to give up on all that so now I find myself almost completely uninterested in my ideal life and I can't bring myself to visualise because I wouldn't feel a thing (btw do you think this will make the manifestation easier or harder?) but I still know deep down that I couldn't accept anything from life other than that perfect ideal I have for myself even though I sorta feel like cheating like... can I call this kind of experience authentic? Share some wisdom ma'am please. Can you also share some films or books or anything that inspired your idea of perfect life if you feel like it?
Hey! You make such an interesting and excellent point! Thanks so much for having such faith in me, hahah, it's extremely flattering!
I honestly have a pretty simple answer for you! Whilst I'm well aware of the law and how things operate and that I am the god of my reality, I am still human. We all are. That's what makes life so beautiful, colourful, and emotionally rich. I believe that the process of manifestation and conscious creation for many people is actually one of the most transformative and emotionally charged human experiences anyone could have, because they face their fears, overcome them, persist and stay determined, and ultimately win the best prize of all - and the prize is not just a material thing or a specific person - the best prize of all is happiness, contentment, and self-love.
I only consciously manifest in areas of my life that I feel have unfolded negatively as a result of low self-worth. The law has taught me that these things are a reflection of the way I treat myself and talk to myself and think about myself. The law has taught me that I should not let my happiness depend on a thing or another person, my happiness should come from within myself.
Our human experiences, the good and the bad, are what shape us as people, and I think that finding the law after we've experienced the ups and downs that human existence has to offer, can be really empowering. Yes, learning about the law helps us take control over our lives and create a happy and abundant life with our specific people, money, the right career, etc, but what I think the biggest thing that the law gives us is the lesson that we need to love ourselves and empower ourselves more.
I don't view life and my desires as meaningless. Just because you are the god of your reality and you have the power to shift into a new reality doesn't mean that the people around you are operating like robots. They are real people and they have thoughts and feelings. You aren't changing anyone or anything around you when you manifest, you are changing yourself and moving into another reality where the people and things around you reflect your new state of being.
The law of assumption has taught me how to speak lovingly to myself and get out of bad habits that ultimately diminish my power and worth. It has taught me to transform myself and my overall love and appreciation for myself so that I can be the best version of myself that I can be.
I personally don't subscribe to any particular religion, but I believe that somehow we were all put on this earth to have a human experience, but we are all one - part of the 'god' source, whatever that is. We all are gods and we all have the power to create the lives we want, but we are here to have desires, to feel all the emotions that come with it, and to experience life's ups and downs, overcoming them and learning from them. I don't know why, but we are all here, and we may as well make the most of it while we are. If we can learn to love ourselves fully and treat ourselves with kindness, we can experience the most lovely parts of life and live in realities where we are surrounded by a reflection of these amazing things.
Let's be real, just because I understand the law of assumption well, doesn't mean that I'm bothered to apply it to every part of my life. Who wants to have to affirm for everything in their life? With most things, I just sit back and enjoy the ride. If there is something negative in my life, I don't let it bother me because I know who I am and I know my worth. If something REALLY bothers me, then I know it's coming from an issue that I have within myself. If anything, it makes me look within and figure out what it is that is causing this.
Even when you know how to use the law of assumption to your advantage, life is still an adventure, and events still impact you emotionally and physically. Sometimes things pop up or happen in your world that come from some deep assumption you didn't even know you had. Life with the law of assumption is a journey of constantly learning about yourself on a deeper level and evolving, and to me, that is so awesome!
When you see people that have successfully manifested their desires, the story doesn't stop there! The new chapter of their lives begins following this, where they get to experience happiness, success, and everything that comes with it! Just because we have the power to change something if we can put our mind to it, doesn't mean that the things we experience aren't extremely real. They feel real, don't they?
Just because the 3D is a reflection of our imaginations, doesn't mean that the experiences we have aren't real. If imagination is reality, and the 3D is a projection of it, then that means that if we have thought of something and it is brought to life, then it is real on some level. We just have the power to place focus on what we want to stay and ignore what we want to go if we decide to.
Even though we manifest things, doesn't mean we don't feel the full weight of their reality. That's human existence. You can still feel your skin, right? You can still feel it when someone kisses or hugs you, right? So it is real to you. If you experience something that you wish you hadn't, you simply have the power to change it, doesn't mean you didn't experience it before, otherwise, where would the desire to change it come from?
Honestly, I can't think of any movies or shows specifically that have taught me anything about the 'perfect life', because everyone's idea of that is different. However, for manifesting and creation, I would recommend Neville Goddard's books. I have his complete reader, which I recommend, as well as Dr Joe Dispenza's books 'Becoming Supernatural' and 'Breaking The Habit of Being Yourself'.
In answer to your question about whether or not that perspective makes it easier or harder to manifest, it depends on what you believe, honestly. I would say that it if anything would make it easier for you to reduce resistance towards things if you truly feel and think that way. However, I encourage you to continue to feel life and to live it fully! The law simply means that things in your life reflect your inner world, and that should be the most real thing to you ever!
Don't let the knowledge of the law taint your view on life and the validity of your emotions and experiences. I, for example, know that the law is real, but I still feel every day and I still have doubts and negative moments in my life. I feel everything so real that sometimes it's too much. The law doesn't mean I won't ever experience hiccups and regular life moments again, it is very likely that I will, because I AM human, and humans naturally develop a mixture of emotions in various aspects of life. It just means that I'm on the journey of life and continuing to overcome these things, just like any other person. You can use the law to make it easier to do this, or harder.
The law is simply a reminder to stay in the state of loving myself and staying in my power so that overall I continue to experience true happiness, because that's ultimately what we all want, right? To be happy and to live in peace.
I hope I've somewhat answered your question and not just rambled on, talking nonsense hahah!
I appreciate the question because you got me really thinking.
All my love x
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meem-didi · 3 years
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Journal: Final Reflection
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The fashion industry has complex links to many other sectors, including manufacturing, advertising, raw material processing, transport, and retailing. The immense profits to be gained in the retail industry give rise to the desire to engage in unethical practices. When suppliers, distributors, designers, or customers are exploited or treated unfairly, fashion industry executives have an ethical duty to improve the situation.  
Within Fashion Ethics and Culture course, we were given the opportunity to explore the breadth of creative, aesthetic, and social/cultural expression of design through the lens of ethical and historic considerations – as it is and how it needs to change, the role of the MENA region and its relationship to fashion media.  
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As a student of DIDI, I felt the same link and inspiration between the Fashion Ethics and Culture course and my vision of how I want to be as a future designer and how I should change the current fashion industry status quo with my future career path. The course creates a creative paradigm for learning ethical fashion design through the lens of ethical and historic considerations. Students are introduced to fashion history, cultural criticism, contemporary culture, and the diversity of representation including ethical considerations and perspectives.
In my opinion, this course plays as a moderator between all other fashion courses we study and extend to other courses with depth like sociology and design histories and theories to link and emphasis all courses material in a dynamic way. We covered various subjects relating to Body Image Problems, Fur Trade Issues, Cultural Hegemony and Appropriation, Consumer Over-consumption, Environmental Effects, and Concerns, Advertisement Conflicts, Brand Name Forgery, Sweat Shop Working Conditions, and Exclusiveness and Injustice Issues; that simultaneously vary from micro to macro scale through lectures, group activities, open discussions in class, and individual presentations.
The True Cost Formula 
Investigate your Wardrobe
Doughnut Economics
ATCAC-Disrupting the Fashion System
Earth Logic: the turning point
Careers in the Fashion Industry
The future of Garment Technology in Circular Fashion
Market Segmentation
Fashion for Good: Virtual Tour
Fashion & Society
Made in America
“Luxury: Behind the mirror of high-end fashion”
Empathic Design Process
SOKO Kenya - A people first company
Innovative Fashion Marketing
Key trends innovating Fashion Marketing
Fashion for Good: Virtual Tour
Untangled Egyptian Beauty Standards
The Fashion & Race database
The Modist- Modest Fashion Dream
About Time: Fashion and Duration
The It Girl: Ashley Al Busmait
I enjoyed the above-listed topics and guest lecture discussions we had this semester, but certain to a whole new way of perceiving the world. I would love to deepen and expand my knowledge on the technology and circularity of the fashion industry future as well as focus on modest fashion and ethical practices and success and failure aspects of the Modist business experience. Whether through merging my learning outcome within this semester to my nest fashion studio or final thesis.
Here's my list of the most meaningful subjects for me and some of the highlights of my recent blogs on these topics:
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ATCAC-Disrupting the Fashion System
ORIGIN AND HISTORY
Atacac is a Swedish fashion studio that Jimmy Herdberg and Rickard Lindqvist created in 2016. Atacac is designed to disrupt the current fashion system. Atacac is like a laboratory for developing ideas and principles. Then they work as consultants sharing that with other brands to improve their design. The other way they work with other designers is what they call Share-wear. When they release a new product in their online store, they also offer the 2D pattern and the 3D model of the garment for free download. This builds a community of home sellers and independent brands that use their patterns and designs. In certain terms, you can do whatever you want. There is a Credit Common Licence connected to the Share-wear which means you can use it commercially in any way you like, and you can make improvements to it, But you need to give credit back to Atacac if you use it commercially and market the product. You also need to make your development available for other people to keep developing further.
For me ATCAC is a brilliant business module example that is trying to blow the entire system to the ground, I loved how I saw ATCAC embodying every principle, I have been learning for the past 3 years. This blog post and the investigation behind it gave me hope that I can succeed in doing something different with my future dream brand.
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Innovative Fashion Marketing
Stretchy Kids’ Clothes Petit Pli gets a growing identity
A sustainable fashion design example that offers apparel that evolves as the wearer grows older has an innovative branding that sounds like “more human” and “less professional." The idea is to reduce the waste of apparel and save parents’ money as children progress up a range of sizes in the first three years of their lives.
It needs time and education to promote meaningful behavioral change. We assume that we are too late for much of our generation. We assume, though, that we are just in time for the next era of LittleHumans. The brilliance of the brand strategy is in anchoring on the opportunity where new parents and young children are more open to improvement and learning than any other part of our community. They do everything not only to promote constructive behavioral improvement but also to make it as seamless as possible.
Marketing as a term became cliché of how much brands are using it without actually making the right –positive impact on their users, within this blog post example of how marketing approach could be current, supportive and extending the brand value to further stage where the client loyalty will be granted due to that extended value, this reminded me of applying the product-service systems methodology, where it's not only the brand responsibility to produce and market a product but they innovate different approaches to extended their after-sale services and product value to emotionally engage their clients.
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Empathic Design Process
Empathy is the core of the entire process of Design Thinking. Putting ourselves in someone else’s shoes reinforces our ability to interpret information, and lets us understand how other humans perceive the world around us.
 The realm of fashion design is shifting from an external focus on the industry, or an internal focus on integrating technology, to an empathetic focus on people. While it’s not too difficult to rally people around this general idea, it can be hard at first to understand how to translate it into tactics.
I ask myself as a designer, how do we make a good connection between a fashion worker and a customer? My solution to this question is to make fashion employees the hero of the story, create brand ideals around them. Plan company modules to be a win-win for staff and stakeholders. As designers, we should reconfigure how the framework is giving back to the societies through which we work. I expect, as a future fashion designer, to build a secure working environment that will help better the lives of single mothers in Egypt. By offering comprehensive educational opportunities and curating future working talents. The Empathy Concept process will be incorporated not only to understand the consumers but also most critically, to understand the true needs of the heroes behind my future brand.
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Technology & future of Circular Fashion
Fashion has always been a major hub for innovation — from the invention of the sewing machine to the rise of e-commerce. As technology, fashion is both forward-looking and cyclical. At $2.2 T, the apparel industry is now one of the top sectors in the global economy. Nowadays, apparel technology is rising more than ever. From robots that sew and cut clothing to AI algorithms that anticipate style patterns, to VR mirrors in dressing rooms, technology automates, customizes, and speeds up every aspect of fashion.
In the optimistic scenario, the future will be led by innovators and collaborators, the industry will leap forward in developing digital passports for clothing that carries an internationally recognized digital asset trigger that could be accessed by designers, retailers, recyclers, and customers alike. This type of standardized infrastructure and labeling approach means that not every brand or approach provider has its own patented approaches, leaving customers stuck in the sea of things to consider. In this way, the future of fashion technologies could truly unify the industry around common practices that would make circularity more visible to everyone.
Reference list
Accenture and H&M Foundation (2018). Circular x Fashion Tech. [online] Available at: https://www.accenture.com/_acnmedia/PDF-74/Accenture-GCA-Circular-FashionTech-Trend-Report-2018.pdf [Accessed 3 Oct. 2020].
By Insider Trends (2019). Why does Swedish clothing brand Atacac give its patterns away for free? - Insider Trends. [online] Insider Trends. Available at: https://www.insider-trends.com/why-does-swedish-clothing-brand-atacac-give-its-patterns-away-for-free/ [Accessed 14 Sep. 2020].
CB Insights (2020). The Future Of Fashion: From Design To Merchandising, How Tech Is Reshaping The Industry. [online] CB Insights Research. Available at: https://www.cbinsights.com/research/fashion-tech-future-trends/ [Accessed 26 Oct. 2020].
CHANGE, W. (2020). THE WARDROBE CRISIS. [online] THE WARDROBE CRISIS. Available at: https://thewardrobecrisis.com/the-magazine/2020/8/26/4-tech-innovations-that-will-change-the-future-of-sustainable-fashion [Accessed 26 Oct. 2020].
CLO (2020). Live Q + A with Fashion Studio Atacac. YouTube. Available at: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PHpiD5u0e1w&feature=youtu.be [Accessed 14 Sep. 2020].
Dawood, S. (2019). Stretchy kids’ clothing Petit Pli gets an identity that grows. [online] Design Week. Available at: https://www.designweek.co.uk/issues/1-7-april-2019/stretchy-kids-clothing-petit-pli-gets-an-identity-that-grows/ [Accessed 31 Oct. 2020].
Design Indaba (2013). Data Dress: A tangible representation of your online movements | Design Indaba. [online] Design Indaba. Available at: https://www.designindaba.com/articles/creative-work/data-dress-tangible-representation-your-online-movements [Accessed 26 Oct. 2020].
Dezeen (2017). Ryan Mario Yasin’s Petit Pli kids clothing expands to fit as children grow. YouTube. Available at: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cJ8VSvkz_4w [Accessed 31 Oct. 2020].
Dubai Design Week (2019). GGS Success Story: Featuring Petit Pli by Ryan Mario Yasin. YouTube. Available at: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3a2eIix1rUI [Accessed 31 Oct. 2020].
Dyson on (2019). Petit Pli: The unlikely fashion brand that wants to end industry waste by making clothes that grow. [online] Medium. Available at: https://medium.com/dyson-on/meet-the-inventors-fabric-fantastic-c5f18d7639bf [Accessed 31 Oct. 2020].
Fashion United (2020). The future of garment technology in circular fashion. [online] Fashionunited.uk. Available at: https://fashionunited.uk/news/business/the-future-of-garment-technology-in-circular-fashion/2020091750927 [Accessed 26 Oct. 2020].
Givens, D. (2020). ASOS Unveils Its Made In Kenya Collection Collaboration With Soko Kenya. [online] Black Enterprise. Available at: https://www.blackenterprise.com/asos-unveils-its-made-in-kenya-collection-collaboration-with-soko-kenya/ [Accessed 27 Oct. 2020].
GLOBAL FASHION AGENDA (2020). Design for Longevity. [online] Designforlongevity.com. Available at: https://designforlongevity.com/page/about [Accessed 14 Sep. 2020].
Herdberg, J. (2020). Kokokaka - Work. [online] Kokokaka.com. Available at: https://kokokaka.com/work.html [Accessed 14 Sep. 2020].
Krantz, J. (2017). Atacac uses game tech to disrupt the fashion system - MAGIC FABRIC. [online] MAGIC FABRIC. Available at: https://magicfabricblog.com/atacac-uses-game-technology-change-fashion-system/ [Accessed 14 Sep. 2020].
LeVine, S. (2018). Automated fashion is now a reality in new Chinese store. [online] Axios. Available at: https://www.axios.com/fashion-automated-alibaba-china-store-d476b4a4-d74d-410e-9518-bea2449203da.html [Accessed 26 Oct. 2020].
Morrison, H., Petherick, L. and Ley, K. (2019). THE FUTURE OF CIRCULAR FASHION A COLLABORATIVE REPORT BY ACCENTURE STRATEGY AND FASHION FOR GOOD ASSESSING THE VIABILITY OF CIRCULAR BUSINESS MODELS. [online] ACCENTURE STRATEGY AND FASHION FOR GOOD. Available at: https://d2be5ept72nvlo.cloudfront.net/2019/05/The-Future-of-Circular-Fashion-Report.pdf [Accessed 2 Oct. 2020].
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Partners, K. (2017). PROTOCHIC. [online] PROTOCHIC. Available at: https://www.protochic.com/stories/2017/3/17/kenyan-manufacturer-soko-kenya-partners-with-british-retailer-asos [Accessed 27 Oct. 2020].
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thanthnpt · 4 years
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THE SIMPLE LIFE: THE ULTIMATE PASTORAL
Singapore’s attempt at a therapeutic service of virtual nature.
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REALIZING THE BUCOLIC VISION
Utopian visions have always been a way for architects to reflect on how they could contribute towards a better, peaceful society. The “Alpine Architecture '' by Bruno Taut emerged from World War I, and due to the bad post war conditions the work projected ideas of humanity being brought back to the Swiss alps in order to reconnect humans with nature for the peaceful life. In his vision he sought to use glass and its materiality as a way to break down the rigidity of architecture and create a boundary-less relationship between man and nature.  He also emphasized the aesthetic of non-conflict, projecting the countryside in an idealized way.
In these unseen the images portray a bucolic, pastoral sense of the countryside, glorifying it and completely ignoring the conflicts embedded within the otherwise poor, dirty and boring countryside. It is showing that everyone is civilized doing the most peaceful activities. The sun is always bright and the weather is always pleasant and people are working together in harmony without any conflict.
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THE SIMPLE LIFE, THE ULTIMATE GARDEN.
As time passed, conflicts remained, we witnessed the consequences of the following WW2, Taut’s utopic vision ultimately failed. How can we come closer to a version of the world where the notion of the pastoral becomes a possible utopia? Virtual Reality may be our hope.
 People have always associated nature with peace, and the peaceful nostalgia of the countryside as the land of non-conflict.However, Just like Taut’s little Utopian bubble and disregard for the conflicts embedded in the countryside, in reality  it’s not always peaceful and never unconflicted. Dirty pests infest the trees and natural catastrophes occur. Life in real nature is often unpleasant. So, what is the future of nature? To put this within the context of SEA, Singapore experiences rapid economic growth, people live stressful environments across all fields of social competition like good education and jobs.. Singapore is currently coming up with ways it can help people cope with such hectic environments.Although Singapore lacks land, and is doing the most it can in order to obtain more, it still dedicates substantial amounts of land to the creation of man-made nature. So why is that? These creations target the goal of creating a healthier and away-from-city- atmosphere for its people while pushing the theme of social and communal interaction through these public iconic natures, like Gardens by the Bay, Natural Reserve of SG, Sentosa, The Jewels, many more. Since we know nature really has an impact on our health. Listening to the dancing trees and birds chirping has been scientifically proven to make one mentally and physically satisfied. Perhaps trusting in the technology of future VR Nature can help our dream of the perfect unconflicted land come true.
“The Simple Life” is a therapeutic service where people create their very own bucolic utopia at home. It looks towards being a service provided by the Singapore Government as a strategy to strip people off of hectic schedules, reducing to just doing the simplest of tasks like planting, harvesting, or even milking cows.
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NATURE IS SOOO HEALTHY!  
Here is an experimental video of me being in “The Simple Life”, and while engaging in this peaceful unconflicted environment, my heart rate is projected and documented every 5 minute interval to show the de-stressing of the body. This is what the potential of what VR nature could be, if we put our trust in the ever-evolving VR technology. It could provide a possible therapeutic cure for the citizens of Singapore, or even others. So how does this service allow the de-stressing of my body? Studies of Psychology Columbia University says that Engaging in VR nature daily, could reduce the chance of heart disease by 15%, or promote blood circulation which prevents the numbing disease, a popular disease in Singapore as the result of office syndrome.
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SO.....HOW IS VR NATURE SOOO HEALTHY?! 
 Further into the studies also suggests that a visually pleasing texture is characterized by vibrancy, density, and irregularity. Using this knowledge I created this healthy texture catalog which allows players to apply them onto the 3D components within the virtual bucolic world. Precision is controlled by numerical-based manipulation on a program.
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WE ALL RELY ON REMINISCENCE AND NOSTALGIA ;)
The textures are able to create a healthy experience for us through its ability to call for the idea of nostalgia in our brains, our memories with those textures. Information of different textures is transmitted to different parts of the brain, which receives  different nostalgic senses, like how seeing the animated texture of water recalls for the sound of waves, how seeing the grassy ground we remember exactly how it smells IRL, and seeing the roughness of the woods and stones and knowing how it feels on the hands. Notice how these senses are not even part of the VR experience, but through the realistic projection of nature, the missing senses are still fulfilled. 
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fit4muscles · 4 years
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Bodybuilders and fitness lovers welcome wherever you are The two do not differ that the chest muscle is the most beautiful muscle in the human body Everyone is interested in amplifying and coordinating it How not, they form the front of the body It shows the difference between an athlete and an athlete Well, beginning we'll dissect the chest muscle Let's see what muscle fibers are there Therefore, dear reader will make it easier for you Choose your exercises according to your own goal.
As you can see in the picture Here we have a complete chest muscle The horizontal anatomy is divided into three parts:
Upper tissue of the chest muscle
Middle tissue of the chest muscle
The lower tissues of the chest muscle
The vertical anatomy is divided into two parts:
Internal chest muscle
External chest muscle
The inner chest muscle serves to bring the chest forward The external chest muscle works to expand the chest Now you are aware of the components of the chest let us move on to explain each exercise and muscle specifically targeted. Also read:Goodbye to injuries during exercise !!
Flat bench press:
This exercise is essential for all goals as it significantly increases the thickness of the middle chest muscle But be aware that the more you grab the bar, the more you target the internal muscle (Increased chest thickness) The broader your grip, the greater the external chest muscle is targeted (chest enlargement) To reduce pressure on the shoulders It is also advisable to avoid placing arms at the shoulders level for fitness players Muscle-building players are allowed to do so for safety, be sure to seek help from a friend Perform the exercise 4 rounds and 8-12 repeat.
Dumbbell incline press:
Hold two dumbbells with the right weights for you and sit in a 45 degree tilted chair to target the upper part of your chest muscle be aware that whenever you lift the chair up Increases pressure on the front shoulder muscle Well, you might wonder why we chose the bar exercise, not the dumbbells? The reason is to take advantage of the advantages of both exercises bar exercise makes you carry a higher weight of dumbbells and exercise dumbbells gives you a free motor path that is, when you gain weight, the internal muscle fibers of the chest work more upon descending, the external fibers are activated unlike exercising the bar, which does not provide you with full movement the muscle fibers are operated depending on the width of the grab you initially selected but it stays safer If the upper area of your chest is the weakest, start with this exercise first and take it as a rule always start with your weakness first to get your body to develop. For example, if you have a short back shoulder muscle, start sharing your shoulders with a back shoulder exercise Perform four rounds and 8-12 repeat.
Also read:Why should all bodybuilders eat oats?
cable flyes:
Doing flutter with cable gives you a wide chest as all exercises that require an aerodynamic curve like flying expose the chest For this exercise, it increases the width of the tissues of the upper chest muscle In order to get the old classic shape Like Arnold and other old-school pioneers As a tip, work on squeezing the muscle at the end of the movement to get more blood pumping to the chest Cable exercise has an important key advantage This is known as the negative movement or resistance thanks to the pulley that pulls you then creates an anti-gravity force This helps tear more muscle fibers and strengthen the ligaments of the arms But beware of putting a weight heavier than your ability Not to tear the biceps muscle and forearm muscle ligaments Perform three rounds and 15-20 repeat.
Note: When you pull from the bottom, you expose the upper chest and when you pull from the middle, you expose the middle chest muscle and when you pull from the top, you expose the lower chest muscle.
Dips:
 An important exercise for the chest muscle and should not be neglected as it works to increase the thickness of the lower part of the chest and also coordinates with other parts Exercise your weight if you can or use auxiliary machine There is no need to increase weights because both the triceps and the chest are very tired And more pressure on them is exhausted only In order to deactivate the tricep muscle does not rise to the maximum Leave a small angle in your elbow to affect your chest muscle only If you want to deactivate the shoulder muscle, take your chest forward and bring your pelvis back If you have a shoulder injury, it is best to avoid this exercise Perform three rounds and repetitions upon arrival for muscular failure. Also read:The best supplements to build muscle and bulk
Pullovers:
A great exercise at the end of the chest day It amplifies the muscle fibers of the lower chest muscle and increases its thickness In addition to tightening the chest and remove the sagging and lifted up This gives a three-dimensional shape to the entire chest It also helps expand the rib cage which gives an attractive shape to the man For proper performance, you must go down by weight Just below your head while maintaining the straightness of the forearms And climb by weight to the level of the chest Taking a deep breath and using the technique of mental communication in the sense of muscle to be fully focused with the movement of the chest in order to apply the greatest possible impact on them For safety, avoid using a weight heavier than your ability So as Not to hurt the lower back area Perform three rounds and 12-15 repeat.
If these exercises are applied on chest day In a class ranging from 45 minutes to 60 minutes With the right nutrition, you will definitely be satisfied with the results you get after 4 weeks Here and have finished the topic of the day and I hope that you may have benefited and invite you to activate notifications for my site and to the meeting.
Also read:What to eat .. before, during and after exercise?
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