#this scene was so painful and relatable

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

Average Drama Enjoyer observes some peak drama.

#dungeon meshi #toshiro nakamoto #laios touden #kabru #izutsumi #Before anyone mistakes this as mischaracterization: The joke here is that it's ambiguous what the hell he means. #Kabru does love getting into fights a bit more than average but he's mostly here for the drama. #I screenshot the scene of him going 'The dark arts!' with a little smile everytime I re-read dungeon meshi. He's so catty. I love him. #And shout out to Izutsumi for adding fire to the drama. Girl said 'I am the listener. I heard that shit.' and refused to apologize. #Joke two: the deep cut - Welcome to more propaganda for whatever the hell is going on between Laios & Shuro & Kabru. #Laios trusting Shuro with some *heavy* information because he admires him so much! And wants to be his friend so badly! #Kabru also has another great character moment when he immediatly clocks Laios as not being as malicious as expected. #We love a character who can put the clues together! It is such a good subversion of what role we think Kabru is to play in this story! #Now he's eager to befriend Laios - who is barely interested and currently trying to befriend Shuro - who is barely interested and...well. #The painful triangle of people trying to get to know the other person better and being rejected...Friendship triangle. #We have all had a friendship triangle situation before. Right? You guys have also struggled to read people. Right? #Laios is universally relatable. Right?

[edelbleu]

I can’t stop thinking about the guilt Reo feels towards his own despair and sadness.

It’s not just that he’s a sheltered kid who’s always had everything he wanted at his reach; he’s also incredibly self-aware and holds himself to impossibly high standards.

He’s so ashamed of everything that can be perceived as “ugly” about him: his selfishness, his misplaced pride. These are things that he’s never really had to face before, but being abandoned by Nagi has served as a wake-up call of sorts and suddenly he can’t see anything BUT that.

The way he keeps blaming himself for wanting to hold Nagi back, keep him in a cage the same way his parents wanted for him… AND YET. and yet he’s still unable to wave Nagi off with a smile, he’s unable to let go because Nagi has become so inherently intertwined with his dream that he can no longer conceive one without the other

#nagireo #reonagi #epinagi #episode nagi #epinagi spoilers #edel talks #mygod #i’m lowkey annoyed we didn’t get the you’re a pain scene here bc #it’s been two months of edging #but #reo’s character is so well written #and i find his feelings so real and relatable #now if we don’t get Nagi’s pov in the next chapter i WILL riot #i need to see nagi’s pain for a change

[ronkeyroo]

TW; Themes of depression , Self loathing & Implication/mentions of self harm

It wasn’t her lycanthropy that made her feel like a monster, it was but her own damaged heart and inner demons.

And So she ran away - believing her very presence was a burden too heavy to carry, if only to protect her loved ones from her own demise - No matter how deeply she wanted to run back and crash into his embrace, no matter how deeply her heart yearned to accept his love.

#tw; depression #tw; self harm themes #Heavy themes #Ventart #Vilkas #werewolf oc #Werewolves #werewolf dovahkin #Dovahkin oc #I've been processing alot of heavy things yesterday...ones i felt most fitting to express through Ravens story #it wasnt easy...but im glad i did it #finding comfort through storytelling has been a healthy way to both express and reflect on it all #theres so much i have to say about this encounter and its backstory...But so much of it relates to my own personal struggles #lycanthropy and themes of self control/self hatred...its been weaved through Raven ever since her creation #its as though it goes hand by hand. mirroring one another #I chose vilkas for this scene because of how much she can relate to his own experiences #Ive always headcanond vilkas' lycanthropy taking a great toll on his mental health #enough to leave him with very similar conflicts of wanting to tear away at everything #its such a painful hc but i imagine he always wears bandages around his arms to hide away self harm caused by when he tries to #fight against his lycanthropy and the call of the blood #both Raven and Vilkas have such a complex background and I really wnat to see how they can work through it with their relationship #i believe there will be a part two leading for a more hopeful ending... ;; #these two have so much to godamn deal with and i just want them to find happiness together #im so sorry for dropping such hurt/angst on your feed...Ill make up for it when i can #theres still alot to this scene that has been left untold and i want to share on the hopeful/loving resolution that follows. #they love each other alot. and theyll get through this. they always do #skyrim art shenanigans #skyrim #tes #werewolf angst

[kakusu-shipping]

I feel like a lot of the moodboards I've been making recently are really dark, both in terms of colors and just general Vibe.

So here's one for Lillie to brighten things up!

#Emile's Edits #Proship Selfship #Proselfship #Selfship Moodboard #Meant to be Growing Pains vibes with friendship and adventure themes #I feel like I missed the mark a bit but Eh #It's good it's chill #I relate Lillie to Flower Fields and Summer Activities like Swimming so those are like my main visuals I guess #And also the rain scene on Executor Island where we had our first kiss <3

[altarcup]

trust me i will find a way to romanticize aem0nd....

#something something enmeshment = loss of identity something something #the like. shifting and undulating force thats always just beneath the surface of his skin and how SCARY it is when he lets it show!! hmmm. #grumble grumble. being able to shock and terrify just by showing his true face. something something. #the question whether redacted was really an accident or not........ and what both stories mean in relation to his character #and the fact that in the end it almost doesn't matter!!! but did he lie? should he have lied? </3 #the black sheep of a family that is alr baseline fucked!! like my god #hes so scrungly and crunchy. hmmm. kneads him like those pretty little slimes with the charms in them #also!! the way the targs all are so extremely doglike. like its so apparent in the banquet scene/the aftermath #when d**** gets between the boys and a/emond its sm like a big dog correcting a younger one #they are creepy crawly and i loathe this family (im obsessed with them they are like a car crash to me i cannot look away but i am in pain)

[earl-grey-crow]

✨pond theories✨

#I don't have pond theories I have commentary on the latest episode which I got around to watching today #because I was watching gran turismo on sunday (amazing movie) (maybe an even better soundtrack I'm listening to it for the third time today #I just really love kat and thomas's dynamic I'm not saying I ship them I'm just saying they're just really fun to watch together #I know it was unrealistic to expect kat to smash a bottle of rum on thomas what with jacob dying in the background but can you #can you just imagine. if she did. can you imagine how great that would be. #and can you imagine how great it would've been to see him unceremoniously drop her into the ocean like. get drenched idiot. #the way home hallmark #also NOAH we finally got a NAME my word #it's so strange they waited this long to mention it like did I miss it before?? #right now he's barely interesting but idk after that scene where they're singing in alice's room #I feel like he might have the potential to be a friend #I just don't want them to make it a ship because good grief do we need it (no) #and not everything has to be a ship #and also girl. alice. you barely know him. why?? #alice asking why guys can't just say what they mean is the most relatable thing I've ever heard lol #I think it'd be interesting if nick put the pieces together that his alice and this alice are the same alice #it'd add to the chaos which would be fun #that look elliot gave nick at the fire on the beach was soooo so tired. he's just so tired. #and please WHAT happened at the estate WHAT went down at the party and WHAT happened in the past that elliot's so worried about #the way they're drawing this out is sublime #also how painful this is for kat?? and for del?? but especially kat in this episode?? wild #what a good episode #earl crow ramblings

[sisyphuslnabyss]

CH 190 POLL

#i did say i was going to be evil w him anyways i would stab him (i kin him) #just kidding he is a Different Person so his pain matters so i spare him #(i fixate on this scene bc i have harm ocd and relate to xie lian)

[el-im]

Can you elaborate on Kira/Odo bring mistreated by canon? I thought their relationship on the show was beautiful.

sure! and i agree with you. i think their relationship on the show was excellent (one of the moments i'll never forget was their moment together when odo was explaining he felt disconnected from the physical body he had--that it didn't really represent him, and that he felt he wasn't himself with kira--then kira saying whatever he could do to be himself, she wanted him to do, and feel comfortable with--and odo turning to vapor, and floating around her like a cloud... it was dreamy.)

really, the criticism i have is that i think by nature of how the relationship they had deepened into a romance (it wasn't originally planned--but after one scene, when the crew looked back at the dailies (little recordings they'd worked on previously, which hadn't yet made the final cut for the show) i believe ira behr (though i may be wrong about the details here) exclaimed--oh my god! he's in love with her!--because of how rene had played some interaction between odo/kira), that how the show went about showing that their friendship had something more to it was almost exclusively through the illustration of odo pining after kira, and until nearly the beginning of their relationship, kira seldom seems anything more interested in having odo as a friend, and i think (?) at one point even says she'd never considered him romantically/thought of him as being interested in romance (though i might be making that up--have been off the ds9 wagon a bit lately and haven't seen much of it!). i wish that we'd seen more of kira's feelings for odo coming through in the beginning--seen her transition from thinking of him as someone she had grown up with (in a limited way at least--not in her childhood but in her adolescence) and shared similar experiences with (being on terok nor, the transition to living alongside the federation, and the occupation of the station by the dominion...) to someone she loved in a new way--which she hadn't anticipated doing.

i think the desire to want to see her fall in love with him is only heightened by the times (later on in the series, when they're already in a relationship) where you really do get to see how she views their relationship, and to what extent she respects, admires, and adores him (her telling garak--who is trying to warn her that odo is ill and is only feigning wellness for her sake--that he is the man she loves--and that it would be impossible for her not to know what was happening to him--but if he wants to pretend he's well, and put on a brave face for her, she'll be brave right alongside him for as long as he is with her--will always stand out. it's so perfectly played--everyone is characterized well (garak--sneaking, making a play at being covert and secretive, but still a step behind, odo--resolute, prideful, but young, and still, in a sense, vain, kira--tough, determined, and still tender)

#:) #basically--it came on so slowly from odo's side. we see him pained when he talks to her #desperate for more time with her--eager to make her comfortable and happy (that scene when you see him set out her raktajino in the morning #before their meeting--adjusting the handle on his desk so it faces her just right...) #but content with just being near her--not willing to push or ask for more lest he inadvertently offend her #were his affections unwanted ! #it's just so sweet. then how he uses her as a check for his behavior when he knows he isn't in the right. #how he defers to her judgement and trusts her insight and perspective #then his whole relationship with vic--seeking out advice on what to do about his aching #half formed heart #! #wonderful!! excellent! i just wish we saw more of what kira was going through in relation to it because in comparison #because we see SO much of odo's feelings for her evolving #it seems like kira's come on relatively quickly #but i think it's just because the focus was sort of on odo #asks #trek #ds9

[nerdierholler]

October Writing Day 7

Hey, I'm back! This one's a little longer and involves Kerric getting Loviatar's Blessing so be aware if that isn't your jam. Pretty much follows what happens in game, just Kerric's internal thoughts as the priest does his thing. Also writing a bit out of my comfort zone so hopefully everything is alright here.

Worship

Pain. 

Pain to release pain. 

Pain to bring calm.

 It speaks to something deep inside Kerric. He isn’t sure if it has to do with who he was before or how he feels about the darkness lurking inside him now but he wants it. He wants that release.

“Just face the wall and we can begin.”

Something inside him shifts, not unlike the thoughts that led him to bite off the goblin’s toe, but turned inward. Smiling, he swallows, savoring the final bit of blood that remains on his tongue. Then, slowly, deliberately, he begins undoing the clasps and buckles on his armor, removing each piece and setting it aside. Finally, he faces the wall, takes in a deep breath, and waits.

The first strike hits him with the shock of a bucket of ice water being tossed on him. Instinctively he tenses but after the initial shock fades a soothing warmth begins to surface as a trickle of blood slides down his back. His pulse quickens and the air in his lungs feels thick and heavy.

“Harder.” The word tumbles out of Kerric’s mouth before he realizes it, low and primal.

“What was that, dear one?” the priest purrs behind him.

Now, sure of what he wants, needs, Kerric finds his voice. “I said, ‘Hit. Me. Harder.’”

“Gladly.”

True to his word, the next strike causes Kerric to stumble forward in the slick blood beneath his feet, his hands reaching out to brace himself on the wall in front of him. A turbulent mix of pain, pleasure, and hate rises within. “More!” they shout inside him, “More!” Pushing off from the wall he stands upright, face tilted to the ceiling and arms spread open at his sides. “HARDER!” he shouts. Threatens. Begs.

The pain that follows is electrifying. The nerves in his body seem to be firing at the same time, but still, it is not enough. He wants to turn to the priest, look him in the eyes so that he understands. He wants to kiss him. He wants to kill him. He teeters on the edge of a precipice unsure of if peace, darkness, or the heat of the nine hells awaits below and all he knows is that he cannot stand on the edge a moment longer. His mind and body are taut, ‘release release release’ is all he can think.

“Hit me as hard as you can,” he growls, “or I swear to the Gods you will know true pain before you die.”

“I hope that’s a promise.” 

The voice is a whisper in his ear, he hadn’t even realized how close the priest had gotten, part of his mind panics that he could have been caught off guard, that he is vulnerable: naked, wounded, and without weapons in an enemy camp. It’s the crack that allows him to shatter as soon as the last blow hits.

The force nearly brings him to his knees. The blurring edges of his vision do the rest and he falls to the ground on all fours. Below him all he can see is a haze of red blood, his, other’s, it doesn’t matter, but instead of seeing it and feeling rage or triumph or loathing, he feels…nothing. 

Sweet, blissful nothing.

Leaning back on his heels he tries to savor the moment, to hold this feeling in his memories for when the tadpole and urges get to be too much. All too soon though it begins to fade and his mind slips back to reality. There are matters to attend to, battles to be fought, a druid to locate, but for the first time Kerric feels like he’s learned something about himself, perhaps even his past self, that it isn’t unnerving or shocking, it just is, a piece slotted into place and nesselled comfortably into his psyche.

“Absolutely divine,” the priest sighs behind him, and Kerric couldn’t agree more.

#bg3 #bladur's gate 3 #kerric #october writing #nerdy writes #life at nerdy holler #so turns out I had some thoughts about that scene #didn't expect that #but I was like 'oh yeah Kerric needs this' #purification through pain works as intended #could this be related to why he likes Astarion biting him #likely

[skeletonfromthecloset]

i finally got to watching good omens 2 and i am. unwell. what the fuck.

#i knew what was happening bc i was still on tumblr when it came out (stupid) #but it was still so ouch #and its more frustratijg because it was executed so beautifully and it was so perfect but it was also so fucking painful #frustrating* #anyways. #i will be insufferably mentally ill about this for the next few days at least #and neurodivergent but that goes w/o saying i feel like #the hyperfixation is so back #this hurts like s2 of fleabag hurts but almost more because i relate sm to crowley lmao #not that i don’t eelate to fleabag she’s just way more funny than i’ll ever be if i’m being honest #AND ALSO THE LOOK ON AZIRAPHALE’S FACE IN THE ELEVATOR SCENE. AND HIM LOOKING BACK AT CROWLEY. HE KNEW HE MADE THE WRONG DECISION I AM #UNWELL #thank you neil gaiman #but also #owie ouch ouch

[gonersgoners]

sometimes i remember these panels and i lose my ability to keep sane

#GG rambles #and all the panels inbetween really #whenever these two are close to each other i can feel my whole being heal that's how hard i'm in deep #this manga and these two characters have kept me afloat for a whole year. and the clowning is just the cherry on top #their dynamic their relationship their dialogues everything about them makes me so happy #i'm rereading some scenes and i'm smiling. i'm forgetting the stomach pain i have and that's how much these two boost my morale #they mean so much to me. sanji is one of the most relatable characters to me i've ever come across and zoro is of inspiration #they just mean so much to me. it's not often i get to feel so strongly for fictional characters and they definitely are up there with #my absolute favorites of all #i'm feeling a lot. i'm feeling a lot and i have a lot of brainrot #yeah don't mind me and the fact that i built an entire modern AU out of my fixation on their dynamic because i just #needed to consume more material on them so i decided to just make the material myself #a deep sense of fear and shame prevents me from talking about it but maybe one day i'll be able to create the content. put it on canvas #and just admire these two characters for real and out loud. like i used to time ago

[ethanhuntfemmefatale]

after seventh watch i am thinking about a theory that came to mind today re ethan's particular kind of power over claire. and the idea was that for a character who is very anti-masculine, ethan tends to lean into masculine stereotypes the most in relation to claire--action hero stuff, protectiveness and strength--but after watching the movie i don't totally feel like this is the case? Anyway what Is textual is that in the rare moments when ethan is framed as imposing, he's usually interacting with claire. Thinking here specifically of the hand kiss scene, which is among the most viscerally fucked up scenes i've ever seen in a piece of media, and one of the things that makes it so uncomfortable to watch is the way that ethan is framed. The way his shadow falls over her when he opens the door, and she's lying on the ground, and he stands over her....given that this is a scene where ethan's deeply suspicious that she has been lying to him and manipulating him, it's pretty fascinating that the scene is so thoroughly set up to frame ethan as threatening. anyway it's 3 am so i can't really express this coherently but im thinking about it

#mi1 does a really good job generally of having a camera that treats ethan more as a. horror movie final girl. than an action hero #he's not meant to seem imposing except in a few select scenes #and those scenes are in relation to claire. in mi1 ethan is surrounded by people who have power over him: kittridge. jim. max. #and he spends the movie outsmarting them with his wiles despite them having the upper hand #but claire isn't one of them. the movie literally takes pains to present her as someone who has reason to be very scared of him #idk it's fascinating to me when the movie could have so easily gone the route of #claire the lying #scheming temptress whispering in ethan's ear #but instead it had her lying on the ground while he stood over her #there's another angle to look at this from (it is still 3 am and i dont know why im putting all this stuff in the tags) #which is that claire is definitely a character who knows how to use weakness to her advantage a la ethan in rogue nation #and i think there's an argument to be made that she puts herself intentionally in positions where ethan has this. very stark masculine #control over her that he normally never has over anyone #and uses that to trip him up and freak him out and make him stop suspecting her #i think it's probably both of those things at once i think there's a lot going on here. claire is textually far from powerless but in a way #she is also powerless. just like ethan is textually far from powerless but in a way he also is powerless. #anyway i need to sleep #mission impossible #seventh watch #jim phelps evil polycule

[celia39494]

I'd like to say something more creative about Past Lives (2023) that isn't the painful memory of someone you've loved so dearly growing up that you held onto this image you had of them forever and never let go even if they've moved on with their lives long ago. Now they're married and the person you knew doesn't exist anymore and all that's left are the memories you held so tightly together. It's small, it's fragile but it's enough to make you fly 13 hours to a foreign country to meet with her and her husband. I just feel like when you're young, you love so hardently and it never really fades away, even if life moves on, and it's hard to be the one who remembers. Like I remember when I walked home with this boy in primary school because we were neighbours, I remember being so happy when I saw him out of my window because our flats were facing each other. I remember that I thought what I was feeling was love, and then, when I left, he used his perfume on my goodbye card, and I'm holding onto that too, even if life's going on and we'll probably never meet again, he will always be this boy to me.

And at the same time, it's about the experience of an immigrant who wants to prove to herself that she deserves to be in this country, that she matters and that her parents didn't leave for nothing, and to do so, she decided to sever her ties with her home country and the boy who reminded her of who she was before she'd immigrated.

It's all painful and unfair and the climax was a scene at a small bar where Hae Sung and Nora spoke in Korean right next to her husband who said that he felt like not knowing korean took a piece of her away from him, and at this point, he realises that there will always be a piece of her that won't be his. And they are all bound by fate and destiny, and they are all good people, no one is evil, no one is wrong, everything is just unfair.

I don't know, I'm just in pain bro, wtf.

#hae sung past lives #past lives #maybe I relate to this a bit too much lmao #it was painful #the scene at the bar just ended me lmao #Hae Sung telling Nathan that they are also linked by fate in all of this #it's just three people who wish there was more to the story #and there isn't #and so I cry

[anarkhebringer]

Who knew updating FL Studio would be such a sudden turnaround for these “remixes”...

#Tomodachi Collection #audio #I actually have to worry about MIDI note volume now though which is a Pain but I'll live #if anything it teaches me how to actually properly use FL Studio so ksodjihuiyh #if I use this for anything AU related it'll be more lively nighttime scenes or the like

[silly-goofy-mood]

i headcanon lottie as autistic because i love projecting and i feel like her tiny hut spell is just the perfect spell for an autistic character.

Like... an invisible dome of force that shields you from the rest of the world??? And nothing can enter it unless you decide they can???

:( i want one

#not tagging it uc even tho it's about the show #idk #also her bad memory scene from ep 6 is so fucking painful in how much i relate to it #anyway yeah

[metaphorically-saltire]

Vibrates excitedly i love skittery so much and dear evan hansen omggggg my beloved i love it so much

HAHAAAA yes Dear evan hansen is super good so far it's AMAZING

I GOTTA FINISH THE REST TODAY BEFORE I EXPLODE. RAH.

Like the plot and characters are amazing but also like ?? BEN PLATT IS DOING SO WELL ?? This is just soo good omg like MATE. Outdone yourself.

Anyways back to the original conversation haha, what are your thoughts on skittery?

#also did i mention zoe? #she's so funny #especially during that scene where like #evan comes over for dinner #and she's just destroying the positivity #but also #GODDAMMIT EVAN GET SOME GUTS MAN #the amount of times he has put me throught the PAIN of silence #is too many #but also super relatable #sal's strike has spoken