“Or…you don’t know [Maddie] the way [Chim] does.”
This line…The way it emphasizes that romantic partners know each other differently than everyone else around them. And coming from Eddie? To Buck?
Hasn’t the whole crux of BuckandEddie since last season been the fact that they know each other better than anyone else? In 4x14, after Buck’s crane stunt, every single person scolded him for it and got his reason for doing it completely wrong (“reckless,” “crazy,” “invincible”). Not Eddie. Eddie was the only one who pushed deeper and understood why Buck said what he said/does what he does (“expendable”).
In 5x02, Buck is the only one who clocks Eddie’s panic attack. When Eddie’s entire (ex-)girlfriend is standing right there, it’s Buck who notices something is off with Eddie. And when they talk about it, he digs deeper into Eddie’s statement about sticking things out for Chris, and his “is that enough?” is already enough to make Eddie question himself, but then he also feels comfortable to say “I have been Ana” to emphasize that the relationship is unfair to Ana. He says it because he knows that Eddie knows how horrible his experience dating Abby was, and he knows that Eddie would never willingly do that to someone. And…it works.
So, yeah. “Or…you don’t know [Maddie] the way [Chim] does” gave me pause when I was watching last night. Because they’re romantic partners, they know each other intimately, and it’s a beautiful sentiment that they know each other that way. And because no one knows Eddie like how Buck knows him. And no one knows Buck like how Eddie knows him.
And doesn’t that just speak volumes?
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"#in my opinion the am i bad for you scene belongs in a different category of kim reacting to jimmy questioning their relationship#in this essay i will" tell me more!
okay. here goes
the "if you go to howard, you and i, we're done" "so, we're not done now" scene and the "come on. this guy?" scene are about jimmy doubting himself. he is worried that his actions are irredeemable, especially in the face of someone as ~virtuous as kim. he doesn't see himself on the same level as kim, knows that she is so far out of his league that he just doesn't understand why she would hang around, why she doesn't just pack it in and leave him. he pushes himself to be a better person for her and when he inevitably falls off course, in both of these instances specifically, he can't wrap his head around the fact that she still cares for him, loves him enough to stay, or, in rhea's own words, loves him "...not in spite of everything...she knows who he is and she loves him."
the "am i bad for you" "are you bad for me" scene is less about jimmy doubting himself but more about him doubting kim. the subtext, in my opinion, is not "wow i can't believe this amazing woman loves me and is choosing to stay" it's more "kim, should you really be letting me do this to you? should you really be with me?" her reaction, the crinkle in her brow, is not the sweet and tender disbelief of the first two scenes mentioned. it is not "jimmy how can you not see how good you are? how can you not see how much i love you?" it is kim's surprise and maybe even a bit of betrayal that, of all people, jimmy is now questioning her choices.
and isn't asking "am i bad for you" not another way of questioning kim's agency as well? after every other man on the show makes their opinion known of kim's choices—often implying that she doesn't know what she's doing, that she is somehow under jimmy's spell and he is driving her to ruin, that no woman like her in their right mind would make the decisions she is making and therefore she needs saving, needs to be shown the light—jimmy, her jimmy, the one person she thought understood her, is now doing the same thing. every person in her life has questioned her like this about jimmy (and probably countless other things too). everyone has their own idea about who kim is and what she should be doing.
she is not touched by this question. i think she is taken aback by it. how could he think that? how could he imply he is bad for her when she is the one making the choice to stay. why can't anyone trust her to know what's best for herself? why can't anyone see that she knows who jimmy is and loves him because of that?
the question "am i bad for you" gives jimmy all the power and agency in the relationship and implies that kim is somehow incapable of choosing things for herself. it implies that kim is participating in scams for jimmy and not because she wants to, not for herself or her own reasons. it takes away her ability to be an active participant in the relationship and in her life and i think that kim is sick to death of people doing that to her.
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