#this season has been rather tedious so far

[whispersoftheton]

Anthony bridgerton x wife!reader. Maybe his wife has quite a childlike innocence that the women of the ton take to be weirdness and they tend to isolate her but she never knows why. Maybe they’re newly married and she decides to invite some of the ladies for tea but no one shows up and she’s upset because she’s confused and Anthony comforts her and joins her for tea instead to cheer her up.

Hey! Thank you so much for requesting this & for being so patient! This wasn't meant to be this long but it sort of took on a life of its own. I hope you enjoy it <3

Anthony Bridgerton x Fem!Reader

Warnings: none just comfort :)

Word Count: 1.1K

Every square inch of Aubrey Hall's walls flourished with the season's most stunning flowers, the gardens lush as far as the eye could see. The breeze did little to cool you off from the summer heat as you sat under the tent, sipping your afternoon tea overlooking the meadow alongside Violet Bridgerton. It had been a tedious day of tending to various duties around the household, and you were expecting company from some ladies of society later that evening. It seemed your schedule had been considerably more than full since your wedding a few months ago. Rather frankly, you were just as exhausted as you were delighted in your new marriage to the Viscount. Keeping up with the Bridgertons all while being the latest lady of the house proved to be quite the task. Sure, your introverted preferences to stay within the walls of your home with a good book or spend quiet time in the gardens studying the plants were different than the interests of the ladies of the ton. However, you always tried your very best to keep everyone surrounding you in good spirits while performing your obligations, always looking toward Violet for approval, wanting to stay within your welcome. She was the Viscountess before you, after all. You could only dream of living up to her in your new position. Overseeing every small detail runs smoothly across your home, not to mention the impending weight on your shoulders due to the responsibility of Anthony's sisters coming out in the following seasons. You didn't know how long you could keep this facade up if you were being honest with yourself. But you had standards to upkeep, ways in which the Viscountess held her own beside her husband, and the last thing you ever wanted to do was let Anthony or his family down.

The sun blared upon the exquisitely green grass; surrounding the field on the outer edges were countless trees with blossoming flowers overflowing the gardens. Springtime at Aubrey Hall, indeed, was like no other. You turned your attention toward the Pall Mall game. Your husband stood before his siblings, mumbling something you were sure was some tease towards Eloise, making you smirk. Anthony turned toward the field and adjusted his grip on the mallet before making his final shot. A generous mix of disappointed grumbles and cheers erupted from the handful of Bridgertons as he made the final winning score. Half of them scrambled to debate the shot while the other half stood by, giggling toward them.

Anthony left his siblings to argue among themselves over the game he now reigned as champion over. Eloise was clearly bitter and left feeling she had been made a mockery over this loss after spending her spare time practicing for this very moment. Anthony placed his mallet on the stand alongside the others and approached you. He graciously extended his hand toward you, motioning you to go with him before the both of you bid goodbye to his mama and slipped out of sight and into the grand home.

"Eloise is taking quite hard, isn't she?" You said as he guided you through the doors. "She must have thought her practice would allow her to best you once and for all."

"Having hopes of besting her older yet clearly more skilled brother? Unlikely, my love." Anthony taunted, evidently still on a high from his victory. You stood in the main room while Anthony poured himself a drink, beckoning you to join him before you politely declined.

"I cannot. I am having the ladies over for tea shortly, and I cannot be anything less than perfection for their arrival." Anthony wrapped an arm around your waist and pulled you in for a brief kiss. Enough to have you wrapping your arms around his neck and yearning for more as he pulled away just enough for your noses to brush tenderly against one another.

"No moment in time exists in which you are not perfection, my love." Anthony's smile warmed your heart as you relaxed against him. "They will love you as much as I do; I am sure of it." His validation and loving gaze melted any lingering stresses still dancing around in your head. All that was left was to check off some last-minute preparations, and the tea could commence.

The late afternoon sun cast dispersed shadows across the cobblestone path. Anthony strolled into his home since returning from a lengthy afternoon of business meetings and running several errands around town. Anthony had hoped to come home to you excitedly telling him of your afternoon tea with the ladies of the ton. Instead, he found the halls seemed eerily calm for this time of day. He entered the main room and caught you sitting quietly on one of the sofas in a far corner. You curled up beside the unlit fireplace, twirling your fingers anxiously in your lap when you felt Anthony take a seat beside you.

"Sweetheart." Anthony paused before placing his hand in your lap. You didn't know if it was for comfort or to stop you from fidgeting. His warmth was welcome either way. "Is something wrong?" He cautiously asked.

"No one came." The words strained from your throat. "I know your mama and sisters left this morning on a day's travel, but I hoped-." Your voice broke before resuming. "I hoped at least someone would have-." Tears brimmed your eyes, and scattered tears stained across the top of your dress, some still falling down your cheeks. Anthony's hand cupped your face, his thumb gently preventing the tears from their continued flow. He took your hands in his and placed a lingering kiss on your knuckles before standing before you and offering you his hand. Without another word, Anthony dragged you along the halls and out into the gardens. Various flowers bloomed around you, and he brought you to one of the rarer flowers now flourishing on the property.

"What are we doing here?" You questioned while admiring the intricate patterns in which the vine had taken, the beautiful springtime flora temporarily making you forget the catastrophe of this afternoon. Anthony stepped closer from behind, arms wrapping around you as he whispered in your ear.

"It is when I am gazing upon the most exquisitely beautiful flower in the garden that I think of you." Tears again swelled inside you, but for a different reason this time. "The day will come when the world will see the beauty I am fortunate enough to hold near every day. In the meantime, I get you all to myself, hm?" The warmth and comfort of his words and presence enveloped you, brushing away the day's worries and woes with an ease only he possessed. His voice was a soothing balm for your soul that always had a way of convincing you everything would be okay. Because when you were around Anthony, you knew it would be.

Mini Tag List: @bugnug @queenofmean14 @fiction-is-life @thethreeeyed-raven @ssprayberrythings @fatbottomedvirgo @fictional-hooman (let me know if you would like to added by leaving a comment here or dm me if you’d like to be added.removed)

I DO NOT HAVE WATTPAD. I do not consent to having my work reposted, translated, or published to any third party site or app. if anyone sees my work anywhere that is not ao3/tumblr or under any other username that is not whispersoftheton, it has been reposted without my permission

#anthony bridgerton #bridgerton #anthony bridgerton imagine #anthony bridgerton x reader #bridgerton netflix #anthony bridgerton fluff #anthony bridgerton fanfiction #anthony bridgerton smut #anthony bridgerton x y/n #anthony bridgerton x you #bridgerton season 2

[prince-liest]

I’m a sex-repulsed ace, and reading the latest chapter of 666 (as well as your analysis here on Tumblr) made me realize that I have been subconsciously thinking about MY OWN sexuality from an allo perspective? And that it has kinda been messing me up?? Like, ever since I learned that sexual attraction was actually a Thing and that it’s Important To People, I had been carrying around a fear of being deficient in some way and not being able to love to the same extent as allos. (1)

Even though I know logically that’s complete garbage and totally untrue, I felt left out of the loop because people seemed to care strongly about this thing I couldn’t even imagine. Whenever it looked like a relationship might happen I panicked for a reason that I couldn’t understand. But now I’m starting to realize that it’s because I was subconsciously terrified of an ‘ulterior motive’ behind the other person’s reasons for wanting to be with me. (2) That part of the reason they even cared was because of something I don’t experience. So thank you, because this realization just clicked into place while reading your work. The thing is, this way of thinking was just internalized in such a way that I didn’t even realize it was there until literally this week. And I think you’re right; one of the main reasons behind that is because I’ve always consumed media written from an allo perspective. (3) If ace/aros are shown at all, they’re depicted as “lacking” and their character development usually revolves around being “fixed” by the story. When I was ~10 years old my mom sometimes let me watch the Big Bang Theory with her (looking back, maybe not the best decision). Anyways, there was one episode deep into the series where Sheldon (who for the past nineish seasons was probably the closest thing to mainstream ace rep) has sex with his girlfriend for the first time. (4) Afterwards, he says something along the lines of “that was better than I thought it would be”, and it’s presented as a Very Good Thing and a big step in their relationship. I think a lifetime of stuff like that makes it very easy to internalize aphobia and feel like the lesser part of the relationship. Or to feel like the other partner is making a huge sacrifice to be with you. That got wayy too long, sorry. All that was just a lot of words to say that I appreciate you. Take care of yourself!(5)

The portrayal of asexuality that you see in media being almost exclusively as you described is very tedious to me because it presumes that something is inherently lacking in aro/aceness rather than that feeling of "lacking" being something that is induced by societal norms. Actually, one of the things that I find additionally alienating is that fandom spaces specifically have been getting better and better about ace characters - but got damn does fandom not jive with aromanticism. Like, a character doesn't want to fuck? That's becoming a liiiittle more fine, it's 2024, we stan consent. But not shipping someone romantically?? Not so easy, now.

I'm glad that my work has been something that resonated with you in this respect! Alastor cares a lot about his reputation as a demon but is pretty blatantly a person who could not possibly give less of a shit about being "wrong" for not being experiencing romantic or sexual attraction. The explanation Viv gave at one point for his own understanding of himself (that he thinks he's just "waiting for the right woman") actually stuck out to me a lot because it's a very "well, nothing is wrong with me for not feeling anything, it's the world that's failed to produce a suitable person" perspective.

But having that kind of confident perspective of your own rightness in the world is really not often portrayed in media, or even in fandom, which even ten years ago was still in the throes of standardizing "Oh, no! Me, gay? These feelings are so wrong!" style m/m content and is honestly not that far off from essentially that for aro/ace characters.

Anyway, all of that is to say that there's not yet much out there that doesn't frame allo/amatonormative values as the default that "even aro/ace people can (and should want to) achieve," and that it's really fun to write a fic that is unequivocally from the perspective of a character who is aroace and doesn't see it as even remotely a fault in himself. Does he have moments where he's a little confused and trying to process how things fit for him? Absolutely. But he just doesn't strike me as the kind of guy who thinks he owes romance to Vox of all people, hahaha. I've written him trying to conform to allo/amatonormativity more with Mimzy, because I think the social standards of their time could push him into it, but Vox? Absolutely not, he does not respect Vox enough for it to even enter his mind.

And then, on the other hand, writing it from an aroace perspective centers the way that romantic and sexual interest can feel like a betrayal of a good thing. With a character like Alastor, it frames romantic and sexual attraction the same alien way that we usually see aromanticism and asexuality framed as.

In the end, this is just one of a plethora of different experiences that aro/ace people can have, but it's one that I really wanted to see represented more, so I'm very happy to write it. I'm glad that you're enjoying it!

#ask #personal #Anonymous #long post #t #aroace #ace #he cares about Vox at this point! #but that's. not really the same as respecting him. #anyway this next chapter is important to me because it's very #how do I put this #“this was okay at the moment but that doesn't mean he's okay with it overall and forever” #“and it does not mean that they've 'progressed' their relationship to the point where Alastor being aroace is a 'nonissue'” #“(feat. ofc the heavy implication that it was an issue in the first place)” #ANYWAY. SOMETIMES I HAVE A HARD TIME EXPRESSING THIS IN NON-FIC WORDS #SO HOPEFULLY THE FIC AS IT CONTINUES SPEAKS FOR ME. I AM GLAD THAT IT HAS SPOKEN TO YOU SO FAR <3 THANK YOU!! #sexuality #my writing #hazbin hotel #this is a hot button topic atm and it took me a minute to write a reply #that didn't seem like it invited discourse lmfao #actually I still feel weird posting my opinion this strongly oops OH WELL

[lit-in-thy-heart]

besparkled with blood

Rating: Teen+

Archive Warnings: Graphic Depictions of Violence

Categories: Other

Relationships: Lancelot/Merlin

Characters: Lancelot, Merlin

Additional Tags: Kidnapping, Whump, Angst, Protective Lancelot, Protective Merlin, BAMF Merlin, Whipping, Trapped in a Well, Torture, mild but rather graphic with fingers in wounds, Physical Abuse, unwillingly done but thought safer to tag it than not, Suicide Attempt, Self-Harm, again it's not in the usual way but safer to tag, Guilt, Canon Era, between s3 and s4, Kissing, Blood and Injury, Hurt Lancelot, very very hurt lancelot, Knife Merlin, this whole fic is basically me going how could i make this worse and then doing it, yes it was meant to be max 5k, yes it is over 10k, watch me flail for reasons why merlin can't use magic to get them out bc merlin is so op, merlin and lance get all the braincells this time as a treat, Forehead Touching, Forehead Kisses, Sharing Clothes, Innuendo, there might be two lines that count as crack, Scars, Infection, Caretaker Merlin, if you've read marigolds this has kind of similar vibes, Hugs, themrys, They/Them Pronouns for Merlin, look i have no idea if the last section is accurate, bc there is no nearby well and i can guarantee i would not have volunteers            

Words: 11,653

Chapters: 1/1

Summary: Lancelot had bundled almost all of the fragments of himself into Merlin’s open hands, had stuffed their pockets with tales from his childhood and filled their mouth with sweet oaths. He had written powerful prose from the syllables crafted when his fingertips fell on their skin, sentences stringing together the blood in their veins, and Merlin had never asked him for anything more.

When their picnic date is interrupted by a rude kidnapping, Merlin and Lancelot get a little more alone time than they had bargained for.

Written for @mercelotweek (day 2: Beauty and the Beast - Forest/Kidnapping)

Opening:

As far as dates went, this was not the best one that Lancelot had planned. Of course, he hadn’t planned for a kidnapping to take place just as he had leaned over pilfered pies to kiss Merlin gently, but him not having planned that didn’t make the date any better.

Lancelot had stolen into Merlin’s room with the dawn, stroking their cheek to wake them gently, and had presented them with a large basket and a wide grin. It had been relatively easy to get Merlin out of work, in the end: all it had taken was playing the messenger and telling Arthur that Gaius needed Merlin to collect some rare herbs that were only in season for a period of a week and he would accompany them, then telling Gaius that Merlin was receiving some basic training to defend themself all day. It hadn’t exactly been honest, but Merlin had barely been able to catch a break since they had taken Camelot back from Morgana. There had been countless training sessions to force Camelot’s knights to bond – not that Lancelot had any trouble bonding with the four knights he’d spent hiding in caves and ruins with, but most of the older knights were more guarded – and Merlin had been drowning in tedious chores for weeks.

In hindsight, perhaps Lancelot should have told at least one person where he and Merlin would actually be.

Read on ao3

#mercelotweek2023 #june 27: beauty and the beast - forest/kidnap #day 2 #mercelot #merlin #lancelot #bbc merlin #merlin fanfic #lit writes #whump #angst #knife merlin #turning up two days late with an extra 6k and a line of empty coffee cups #word of warning that lance does not get a break and merlin doesn’t get off lightly either

[frostehburr]

Games I 100%ed Between Scrambling to Put Up and Away Holiday Decorations

So... Been a while since I've actually put stuff up on the internets.

I was particularly busy with IRL nonsense, specifically: putting away Christmas decorations followed by putting up Valentines decorations that only lasted one week before I was ordered to put those away and put up Spring decorations because, yes, my family decorates for ALL holidays and seasons. This year is different because St. Patrick and Easter are in the same month, granting me some real downtime for once.

I bring all that up because the games I 100%ed recently were very short and easy.

The first one being One Night, Hot Springs! A very very small visual novel with adorable art about a trans woman celebrating her friend's birthday. Honest, I was intrigued because I'm trans and wanted to play something that was about a trans person. My options were very limited in that department. All I got left is Celeste.

Anyhow, it's FREE on steam and it's a small part of a bigger visual novel that costs about $5 on Steam. The creator is npckc and their art is consistent with all of their games. Thought it would be nice to drop the name so anyone who stumbles on this post can at least consider supporting them.

Next game was Shadow Burglar, a stealth game that made my computer's fan go haywire. I put all the settings on low, how was it still going nuts?

Well, aside from desktop issues, the game played very well. However, there was no save points. Meaning, you have to play the entire two levels in one go. The achievements were barely a thought since I got them instantly. Although, I'd imagine the last one would be trouble for anyone who has no idea what the Konami Code is. Hint: Up Up Down Down Left Right Left Right B A.

Shadow Burglar was free as well bu I don't really think it's worth the time to invest in. Maybe if the developer expanded the concept to a larger game but as is, it's best to focus on other games.

The last game I played, on Steam, during this time was Fable (Anniversary Edition). I've stated before that Fable 2 and 3 were super easy and could be finished in little to no time. I still stand by that even with the first game because the only actual grind was finding all the keys, books, chests, and stuff for the doors. Everything else was a cake walk. Mostly because almost all the achievements had two methods of unlocking them. Didn't even have to open the Demon Doors since flipping one off gets you the achievement.

Oh there was this one issue with a glitched npc that wouldn't let you play the mini game for Twinblade's doll. I got past it by giving him some gems and slowing time.

That was it for the games on Steam. As for Playstation... Have to admit... I purchased a psn subscription.

As painful as it is to admit. I had to because I couldn't get my old PS3 fixed nor could I find a refurbished one nearby. Wish I knew a reliable repair place because I enjoy playing my games on discs rather than stream but I don't so I'm doomed.

And the one game I streamed on psn was the Sly Collection. I already have to original discs but since PS4 can't play PS3 discs I was stuck with the streaming.

It didn't get too bad until the Ms. Ruby boss fight. Which has you match buttons as the icons slowly creep towards Sly. Issue with the streaming was that it lagged a lot on that level so I lost 11 lives to Ms. Ruby because the stream would not register the inputs I made.

The lag did not get better after that. I ended up having to watch Panda King's level in slow motion and Clockwork froze twice! Thankfully, the lag let up once Sly 2 started. It was smooth sailing from there. Got through all of Sly 2 and 3 nice and easy.

Until I had to do the challenges in Sly 3.

Not to say they were hard, far from it. They were just tedious. I did not like the challenges one bit. Something about putting a timer on something drives my anxiety through the roof and I freak out more because of it.

After the challenges were done I just had four mini games and the Sly Collection was 100% complete.

And despite Nintendo being the family friendly company with easy games... 100%ing a Nintendo game is a nightmare! So I had the bright idea of avoiding Nintendo stuff for some time. Only recently restarting Pokémon Scarlet after seeing the teaser for Pokémon ZA.

This puts my total amount of games completed (for these past few months) at 7. 3 from Steam and 4 from the Sly Collection (yes, I'm including the mini games as a separate game much like PSNProfiles does.

#100% complete #100% #opinion not a review

[yersina]

i absolutely love your writing!! thanks for ur wonderful contributions to the sclass tag <3 very open-ended prompt: hyj & cooking?

♪( ´▽｀) thank you so much!! I’m so happy that you’re enjoying 💛

~~~

Yoojin doesn’t particularly enjoy cooking. It’s more accurate to say that he enjoys the results of cooking—he likes the feeling of setting a completed dish on the table, likes looking over and seeing that Yoohyun is eating well. But the actual process of preparing the ingredients, making sure that the seasoning is correct, washing everything clean afterwards… It’s tedious.

After dungeons start appearing and Yoohyun leaves to become a hunter, cooking starts to become more and more of a chore. Yoojin’s wallet can’t quite handle getting delivery for every meal, but there are some days where he can’t stand the thought of standing in the kitchen for even half an hour to make dinner and he has to reach for his phone. After the regression, well, what else is he going to do with Yoohyun’s fortune if not waste it on unnecessary take-out?

He’s prepared to do the same when he offers for Myeongwoo to live with him. As much as Yoojin has put in the effort of weaving the lie of them being long-lost friends, they’re still essentially strangers. He doubts they’re close enough to sit down and have meals together.

As it turns out, though, Myeongwoo is more than happy to cook for the both of them, and he’s good at it. Far better than Yoojin ever was.

Myeongwoo must like to cook, Yoojin thinks. How else could he make food that tastes so good? He sneaks another guilty bite of oi muchim from the container in the fridge.

He doesn’t even like cucumbers that much.

Myeongwoo keeps leaving food for Yoojin to find, and Yoojin gradually gets used to having food at home to come back to, to having that guarantee even if he didn’t quite ask for it. It’s a new experience, being able to come home to a home-cooked meal, made by someone who put in the effort and time into making something for him to eat. At the very least, it saves Yoojin from having to think of something to eat for dinner.

As much as he enjoys the ease of eating Myeongwoo’s carefully prepared dishes, though, it leaves him feeling guilty every time that he does. He’s lied to the man about being his friend, dragged him into being a part of Haeyeon, and now keeps eating his food? That’s a bit unfair, even for Yoojin. But he never actually manages to catch Myeongwoo in the act of cooking and Myeongwoo absolutely refuses to accept any of Yoojin’s offers to pay for groceries, even when Yoojin says that it’s Yoohyun’s money.

It becomes a concern that Yoojin uneasily lets fade to the back of his mind, there but not pressing, until one day he comes back earlier than usual to the sound of chopping.

“Let me help you!” Yoojin blurts out as soon as he sees Myeongwoo in the kitchen. He’s still holding Peace in his arms and he’s pretty sure he’s still sweaty from running around all day training him, but Myeongwoo is there, in the kitchen, and Yoojin can help him.

“Are you sure?” Myeongwoo asks tentatively, looking down at the half-chopped carrot on his cutting board. “I just got started, and it’s just fried rice.”

Yoojin claps his hands together decisively, fighting the temptation to fistpump. “Even better. Here, let me put Peace down first and wash my hands, and then I’ll join you.”

He rushes through his daily coming-home routine in record time and five minutes later, he’s plucking the onion from Myeongwoo’s grasp. “You’re planning on dicing this, right?”

“Yeah.” Myeongwoo’s eyes trail the onion like a dog following a treat. “Are you sure you’re okay with helping? I can do it on my own.”

Yoojin frowns. Maybe Myeongwoo is the type of person who likes to work alone? “If you’d rather do it on your own, I won’t disrupt you, but I’ve been looking for an opportunity to help for a while. I just haven’t been able to yet.”

“Oh.” To Yoojin’s confusion, Myeongwoo looks to the side and… blushes? “I don’t mind the help then. If it’s okay with you.”

Yoojin beams. “Great.”

He begins dicing the onion while Myeongwoo finishes up with the carrot. Yoohyun is the only other person that Yoojin has ever worked with in a kitchen before, and even then, it was more supervision and direction on Yoojin’s part than collaboration. It’s different with Myeongwoo, though. When he finishes with the onion, Myeongwoo is already handing him a zucchini. While Myeongwoo is heating the oil, Yoojin grabs gochujang from the fridge. It feels like a choreographed dance, except they’re discovering the steps as they go.

After Myeongwoo sweeps the onion into the pan, he gives Yoojin an uncertain smile. “Is something funny?”

Huh. “No, it’s nothing,” Yoojin says, attention abruptly drawn to the unconscious smile on his own face. “I’m just happy.”

This is the most fun he’s ever had while cooking.

“Oh! Well, I’m glad, then.” Myeongwoo prods the onions, which give a satisfying sizzle. “Do you want to fry up two eggs?”

“Sure.”

Somehow, Myeongwoo conducts some type of sorcery to have the fried rice done at the same time that Yoojin finishes with the eggs, and manages to plate everything just on time for Yoojin to slide an egg on top of each bowl. It’s just kimchi fried rice with an egg on top, but Yoojin is… He’s happy. Excited.

“Let’s eat,” he tells Myeongwoo. He gets another confused smile in return for the helpless grin still on his face, but Yoojin can’t get himself to stop even if he wanted to. He doesn’t want to.

There’s warmth in his heart and happiness in his home, and that’s all he’s ever asked for.

#orvs #sina writes #sctir #s classes that i raised #i spent a full five days thinking abt this prompt #couldn’t decide on what to write #the possibilities;; #mmmmm food as a love language mmmmm yes #i think this yj probably doesn’t care for cooking in general but he enjoys it as an activity #if that makes sense #i had to stop in the middle of writing this to make myself kimchi fried rice

[legion1227]

Attack on Titan: PS4 game review

Attack On Titan is one of the best and most depressing series. 

Attack On Titan returns once again for a one-hour special during its final season less than a month from now. I figured now is a good time to talk about one of its games since we are rapidly approaching the end. 

I have a huge soft spot for AOT. The first season aired in 2013. It's been ten years since humanity received a grim reminder about living in fear of the titans. I was twelve when I watched the show and obsessed about it with fellow friends and middle schoolers. The first three seasons illicit heavy nostalgia for simpler times in my life. Despite breaking up the last season into three parts and dragging it out the past few years, the complexity and depth the latest season has wrought is nothing short of a spectacle. 

With season four bringing heartbreaking revelations, deaths of beloved characters, and jaw-dropping plot twists, I am simultaneously looking forward to and dreading the ending of this amazing anime. I am also nostalgic for the simplicities season 1 brought. Humanity versus Titans. So to play the first Attack On Titan video game was an intriguing look back on how far the cast has come. 

Season 4 of Attack On Titan has a complex web woven into the narrative, but the first season was rather simple for quite some time. Enormous, naked, ugly humanoid creatures are running around, eating people, and leaving a path of destruction in their wake. Humanity fights back however possible. 

The game, mundanely titled Attack On Titan, follows season one. If you've never watched the first season and wanted the experience without sitting down to view it, playing Attack on Titan might be the next best thing. Though I wouldn't recommend playing over watching. If you're a fan of AOT but have not played the game, it's at least worth a try. 

AOT, the game, was developed by Koei Tecmo and Omega Force: The same teams behind the Dynasty Warrior games, which is one of my favorite gaming series. However, what I love most about Dynasty Warriors and their other "Warrior" games (One Piece Pirate Warriors, Samurai Warriors, Warriors Orochi, Persona 5 Strikers, etc.) is the power fantasy. In those games, you have your selection of characters and some strong officers or bosses to fight. But a plethora of the enemies you fight in those games is canon fodder. Grunts throw themselves at you, and one combo later, you've defeated thirty enemies in seconds. Those games make you feel like a god amongst men as you slaughter hundreds or thousands of nobodies. 

AOT does the opposite of that. 

It makes sense. There's no way to get that power fantasy when you're a regular human going against giants. Instead of flashy combos, the combat revolves around hooking your maneuver gear onto the limbs of the titan speeding close and slashing at them from various angles. It adapts the show's combat rather perfectly. The novelty of it dissipated from me after the first ten hours, though. 

Maneuvering around the map with the mobility gear is the most satisfying aspect of the gameplay. The art of locking onto titans and attempting to slash their limbs or their weak spot, the nape, felt tedious after a while. You could make the same argument for most Koei Tecmo/Omega games. Playing dozens of levels straight of running around and beating up soldiers could be monotonous to those who crave variety. But the Dynasty Warrior games, among others, have a flash to them with colorful characters performing over-the-top special moves that endear me more than a game like this. 

The story mode follows the first season, and from the viewpoint of cutscenes, dialogue, and character work, it's a top-tier endeavor. They did a solid job adapting the source material. Gameplay-wise, it's nowhere near bad at all. It's good, even! Hooking yourself around the city has weight to it. It's fun to do. It's almost as satisfying as swinging around New York in Spider-Man on the PS4. If the game was just swinging around, I'd put 100 hours into it. But actually putting in the effort to swing at the right angle and sever multiple limbs just to get at the nape and kill it is taxing. I was willing to do it to get to the end of the story mode but not for expedition mode. 

Expedition mode is just a series of free levels where you can pick whatever character you want and complete whatever tasks are assigned. I played a handful of levels and then stopped, lacking the will to put any more time into the game. 

So here's what I think. This is a solid, well-crafted, good game. I'm glad I got to play it for a time. It got me somewhat hyped for the one-hour special coming soon. I enjoyed revisiting the story. Gameplay is fine but doesn't feel so exciting to play. I'd recommend it to an AOT fan if you haven't played. Maybe you'll like it way more than me. It's available on PS4, Xbox One, and Microsoft Windows. 

I'd give it a 3.5/5. 

(Sidenote: You can play as a titan on some levels. It doesn't happen as often as it should but it's also like the hypest and best part of the game without a doubt.) 

#anime #video games #game review #attack on titan #aot

[adversaryss]

@steadfastspirits:

Prior to his arrival within Mondstadt and being accepted into Alice and Klee's little family, Albedo had no concept of birthdays. There had been no reason to catalogue the years as they drifted by, aside from the way in which seasons shifted, and humans went from bouncing children to humble adults, finally onward to shriveled old folks before they passed on. No celebration of centuries as they whisked ever onward - research had always been far more important to the homunculus' master.

While Albedo still cared not for the date of his own creation, he had no qualms with celebrating the continued existence of those that he held dear.

This year, Aias would be in Snezhnaya on the date of his birth. If luck was on the man's side, he would be in Morepesok, surrounded by his parents and younger siblings - maybe even his older siblings would have returned home for the event. More realistically, however, the man would be within Zapolyarny Palace, dealing with his fellow harbingers and a wide variety of important tasks. With that in mind, a letter and a book had been sent there.

Aias,

Happy birthday. Consider this a reminder of home. Try not to freeze.

Yours, Albedo

The book is small and easy to place inside Childe's belongings for travel; the cover is black, and the pages within are unlined and filled to the brim with works of art. Some done in crayon by a small, joyous knight, and others done in charcoal or watercolor by a seasoned artist. The first few pages are sketches done the last time that Albedo visited Snezhnaya - pictures of Childe's family members, something for the man to hold close while abroad. There are several pages of pressed flowers as well, mostly with petals the same shade as the Snezhnayan man's hair. Clearly, the gift had been months in the making. There are blank pages as well, in case Childe needs a place to write notes or whatever else.

Aias isn't really expecting to receive any gifts at the Zapolyarny Palace, of all places- at least, none that any sane person would be happy to find- so the announcement that there's mail for him to pick up after a meeting with the other Harbingers is quite curious indeed.

"Who from?" he asks while he still has the time. And, oh, of course. Of course it would be from a certain alchemist. Such clever timing as always, but also the most inconvenient, because he finds his thoughts drifting to the mysterious package every time his focus slips. It's simply too tantalizing compared to the tedious bickering these schemers and charlatans get up to when their unique sensibilities are offended.

Finally though, he is free with his mission in hand and an eagerness to his steps as he makes his way down to the receiving office. The small size of the package is no disappointment, since he's already aware that Albedo is not predisposed to grand gestures. Except...

It is rather grand, isn't it?

Aias isn't sure how long he finds himself standing there after unwrapping it. Reading the short letter had only taken a few seconds, of course, but the pages of the book he lingers on thoughtfully, those same words ringing in his mind as he does so. A reminder of home. Gloved fingertips carefully trace the sketches of his family home and the loved ones living inside it, faithfully depicted in Albedo's own charming style.

Yet there's also Mondstadt in here; the people he's met, the sights he's seen, the shenanigans he's found himself in embroiled in every time he passes through the City of Freedom. Some are even done by Klee herself and he feels an unexpectedly familiar pang at the sight of the childish drawings- the same sort of feeling he might get looking at a letter from his younger siblings.

When did his family become so much bigger? When did his home stretch this far? He doesn't know, but he closes the book eventually and tucks it into his coat, right in the hidden pocket over his bruise-tender heart. This is something he'd like to keep close at hand, he thinks.

It feels like an important reminder, indeed.

#ic #steadfastspirits (albedo) #asks #event: birthday #queue #(MMMMMMMMMMMMMMM IM SO TENDER !!!!!!! BEDOOOO!!!!)

[drea-exclusives]

Week 2 — CNY Incoming 🍊🧧

So, it is only after yapping on and on about everything that went down in week 1 that I came to know that we don't actually have to write about what happened in our week for these entries. But since I've already jotted down about the events that took place over the past 2 weeks, I figured I'll include it for this entry anyway. Perhaps after this I'll write about both my weekly experiences as well as the thoughts in my head for my entries, it's quite fun albeit a little time consuming.

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。..・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。..・。.・゜✭

If I were to have searched the readings for my zodiac sign this week, I have a pretty good feeling it would've said that I would be unlucky on Monday. By that I mean the 10 minute intervals I encountered while waiting for the MRT. And it didn't just happen once, but twice! Both the Putrajaya and Kajang train doors closed just before I could enter, leaving me 15 minutes late for class. Though this is a usual occurrence, I think I definitely need to start leaving my house earlier this year. The lecture was rather boring so I honestly didn't mind being a tad bit late, it was just English after all. The more memorable parts of this day I would say were the clear blue skies and fluffy clouds; I remember staring out the train windows with soft music playing from my earbuds adoring the scenery. Despite my love-hate relationship with the MRT, this visual experience is definitely something that makes my commutes worthwhile.

Tuesday was another driving day. This time I came to uni earlier and found parking easily without humiliating myself! I was pretty stoked by then as I had an hour or so to eat my lunch while watching my K-drama. I've been watching a new horror/thriller drama lately called "Gyeongseong Creature", which is frankly quite a shocker since I'm probably the biggest scaredy-cat amongst the people I know and would probably cry if you forced me to watch a horror movie. But since I had seen a few snippets and knew the rough plot of the show, I figured to give it a go as it looked intriguing (and it surely has been so far).

I also received a few positive feedbacks for my short story as we had to critique each others' works during class. This was quite a shocker as I had mentioned in my previous post about how I struggled to write that story and was a bit disappointed with the outcome post-writing. I feel like this was one of those times when I realise how critical I am of myself and how low my self-esteem truly is, and only through receiving praise and academic validation that I allow myself to feel deserving in life. Although this was just a small example, but moments like these make me reflect a lot, and was for sure a booster for my self-esteem telling me I'm more than the thoughts in my head.

I drove home that day, euphoric and with music blasting while I sped through the empty highways. I will say though, this good day was interrupted by unbearable heat in the evening. It was the type of heat and humidity that made you say "CNY is coming", as this incredibly hot weather was typically seen every CNY season.

Wednesday was a free day! We didn't have class since Ms Ashley was able to finish the lecture on Tuesday (thank you Ms Ashley for letting us sleep in 🫶). It was also the last day of January, which was a little weird as for the first time in a long while, a month actually felt like it lasted for the proper duration of a month.

I collected my laptop from the ASUS repair centre in Lowyat Mall today. Long story short, these 2 weeks going back and forth to the repair centre was a tedious process that had my parents saying to "not buy from ASUS after this". I was glad to have my laptop back without the fan inside revving like an engine; it really was quite hilarious yet absolutely terrifying when I had to bring my laptop to class last semester as I had no idea when it would start sounding like a motorboat.

The day ended with me (finally) starting to set up my Tumblr account and decorating it. The process of searching for layouts made me so reminiscent of the time I was on BTS stan Twitter. Scrolling on Pinterest for hours on end to find a header that matched the aesthetic of my profile picture, designing my account layout, and so on. I miss that era a lot, with all the online friends I met and experiences I gained so I'm glad I was able to do something like that again for this account in the efforts to make it a place I enjoy coming to.

(headers I saved while trying to design my layout)

I don't know why, but Thursday schedules are always the worst. It is yet another semester where I have morning to evening classes on Thursdays, but since my classes don't start at 8 am, I won't complain. To make matters worst, it was from this day that I started attempting to save my data and use the uni wifi as I was running really low on data (note to future self: please look into other data plans.)

Our first broadcasting class was today, and at the end of the class our task was to come up with a script on a given topic and record a video roleplaying a news anchor. Although my group had chosen another group member to be the news anchor, the role was handed over to me at the last minute. I found it kind of ironic that the person in the group who was the least likely to major in broadcasting ended up roleplaying as the news anchor, but it was kind of fun nevertheless if we ignore my anxiety levels spiking because of this sudden change.

Friday had finally come, and this was the last day of us meeting all our lecturers in-person. I was 5 minutes early for class which is a rare occurrence for someone with time management issues, but it actually felt nice not having to rush my way to class so hopefully this is something I can keep up next week. Having officially met all the lecturers for my courses this semester, I feel a little more at ease as the classes seem promising. I do hope this is the case for the rest of the semester since it is a rather long one.

After class ended, I headed to Tropicana Gardens mall just to look around, have dinner, and hopefully get some work done, since it was a Friday evening after all. I spotted a new cafe and decided that this was where I was going to settle my dinner and enjoy the rest of my K-drama. As a pasta girlie, of course I ordered the pesto pasta and it definitely did not disappoint. Would've definitely ordered a coffee if I hadn't already had one earlier in the day, so next time it is!

Saturday was another shopping day, with my parents this time. I had initially wanted to do my shopping after class on Friday, but seeming that my parents needed to shop for CNY too, hence we all went this day. To say that the mall was crowded would be an understatement, evidently since it was the weekend before CNY itself.

After browsing many clothing stores for hours on end, I only ended up getting a blouse, but the backstory for this blouse made it worthwhile. The store I had gotten it from was more of a boutique, with its prices ranging from RM100 to over RM300. I went in with no intention other than window shopping as it was way out of my budget, until I stumbled upon this blouse in the discounted section, originally priced at RM129 but currently sold at RM39. Even though this blouse (which was more of a fancy T-shirt honestly) was definitely overpriced, but it was still a steal after being discounted.

The funnier highlight of this day was noticing all the tired boyfriends in the mall, standing outside the stores with bags of clothes in their hands, tired and scrolling on their phones while they wait for their girlfriends to shop. There must've been a couple of them in every 1-2 meters from me as everywhere I turned, they were there undoubtedly. I found this quite amusing as someone who was single, and it was also a moment of gratitude for being single as I had the joy of spending time on my own without limitations and troubling others.

By the time Sunday came I was exhausted and aching all over from going out the past few days. Hence, it was a day to relax and take it easy. The only major event was following my parents to the market after lunch to buy some mandarin oranges! Once again, the weather was just ridiculously hot and having to walk under the sun carrying bags of fruits and cooking ingredients made me realise how much our parents do for us, especially in terms of food as food is such a significant part of Chinese culture. I'm grateful for the hard work my parents put in to always make sure there is more than enough food on the dinner table, and of course the daily cut-up fruit that is a symbol of their love.

Week in Summary

This week made me think and reflect quite a lot, particularly regarding my self-esteem and just how I feel about myself in general. I long for the day when I'm older and wiser and have more experience in life that I realise that I should've been kinder to myself. I say this because sometimes it's difficult to comprehend in the present; it is over time as you change that you figure out these things along the way and are able to look back and see how far you've come. But for now, I simply wish to have more faith in myself and to trust the process as it will lead me to where I need to be.

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。..・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。..・。.・゜✭

Song of the Week! This week's song is another one that's been a favourite for awhile. Although the title may raise eyebrows at first glance, but the lyrics are really sweet once you've understood the meaning of the song. I listened to this song many times this week as I admired the bright blue skies; the soft, calming melody were extremely fitting along with parts of the lyrics incorporating different colours which reflected how I felt about life at the moment. Despite not having a lover to daydream about with these romantic lyrics, the melody itself feels really grounding and peaceful.

[troidatoi]

Day 7 - 9/21/2023

I think I've literally cried every day this month. I always get so emotional when September comes and I don't know if it's cause of the transition to Fall and I already know my seasonal depression is going to skyrocket. My health anxiety is through the roof that I can't stop thinking about it and crying about it. Every little thing just triggers me and I start crying and and it's just tears on tears on tears. I just want to feel better so bad. I went to the gastro doctor again to test for SIBO and I don't have it. It's a relief that I don't but I still don't know what's going on with my body and the uncertainty makes me to k*ll myself. Sometimes I think I have the C word. (I know I don't.) It also feels like there's a lot of pressure in my head like there's something wrong with my brain. I just want to stop thinking like this but I can't. I so badly want something good to happen to me and I know it will. I want to be able to eat without fear, I want to not bloat anymore and not feel inflamed. I want to fit into my clothes again. I want to be able to enjoy life. (I'm trying my best.) Food still isn't digesting properly and I know it will heal sometime soon. I just feel like I'm doing everything I can but nothing is working. This is all started when I did my tummy tuck (which I don't regret at all) but if I knew my digesting system was going to be like this after then I don't know if I made the right move. I just wanted to look and feel fit and skinny for the first time in my life and I felt like I ruined it. :( I know I'll go back to my ideal weight soon and I'm doing the best I can but I am spending so much money on doctors and supplements and medication. I just wish I could get tested for everything and not have to worry about the money. My gastro doctor doesn't want me to do more testing because he doesn't want to expose me to radiation and I just laughed but I really want him to do it! Test me! I need to figure this out! I wish I took care of my body better. I keep apologizing to my body but also telling her that I love her and thank her for how strong she is. I don't want my body to keep going through this and I know I won't feel this way forever but I just want to heal so bad and it just feels never ending. This whole month has been ass so far. LOL. Like I'm trying to be positive but sometimes I just want to fucking scream and yell and throw something and punch something because of everything that's happened so far this month. Like you know where everything is going wrong and you feel like you can't watch a break and you just want to breathe but life decided to throw hands?! Yeah, this was all this fucking month.

The job search has also been making me extremely depressed like these companies are pissing me the fawk off with how we need to apply for the job and taking forever to get back to us. I had an interview with a certain company in June. Still haven't heard anything back. I even emailed the recruiter last month and he said they haven't heard anything yet. I thought the interview went well but it shouldn't take this long to get back to someone. I rather have them tell me I didn't get it then just get ghosted like this. (I am hoping I'm not getting ghosted. LOL) Don't even talk to me about salary because these companies want you to do the work of 2-3 people for a low ass salary like be fucking for real. I applied to two jobs yesterday and it was just so tedious although I'm hoping to get a call back from one of them just because I think it'd be cool to work there. :) Also, I applied to MGM and they got back to me the next day and set up an interview and everything. The manager texts me and she said servers are down and I was like okay, cool shit happens. I just thought the power shut off but nope. I found out later that week that they got hacked so everything got leaked and I was like HAHAHAHAHA, maybe the Universe doesn't want me to work there? I don't know man, I don't know whether to laugh or cry when it comes shit like this. Like I'm just asking to make money so I can pay back my parents and pay off my debt. I don't even want to be rich. Just financially stable enough to afford my wants and needs and even move out!! This whole month has just been so terrible. I want to believe that something good will happen you know? I'm claiming it though even if I need to be delusional about it.

I for some reason think about death a lot like it consumes me to the point where I just start crying out of nowhere. I remember even when I was a kid I asked my mom why do we die and she couldn't give me a straight answer. I don't know why I was little and asking questions about death. I remember crying in class when I was in 4th grade thinking about death for some reason. Like the thought just washed over me when I thought about it. I always thought (I still do) that death is so fucking tragic and living an old age is a privilege. Aging is a beautiful thing. (I don't know why the fuck society makes it seem so bad.) I like the idea of celebrating your life (which is probably why I love birthdays so much). Because it means that you're still here and shouldn't we celebrate the fact that you're still here? You made it this far. I thought about my death today like fucking a lot which is why I was crying a lot. Like would I be okay dying right now? I even thought what I would write to my family and friends if I ended up dying like right now. LMAO. Why am I like this? I would say I'd live a good life so far, a lot of ups and downs of course. A lot of regrets but not a lot of regrets. I've always done things that made me happy, my social life is amazing, and I have family and friends who love me.

My favorite artist right now La Roux knows who I am!!! The only thing that is keeping me going right now is that I need to meet her and see her in concert. LOL. It's funny cause she sent me encouraging messages and I didn't even think she would reply back to me. She told me to stay strong and I was like yeah okay!!! Let's do it not only for me but for her too. lmaooo. I don't know why her message affected me so much when my family and friends told me the same fucking thing but I was still fucking sad and mad about everything. I really do love her and her music so much. The way I gush over her is crazy. LOL. I don't want to sound obsessed but she's just so effortlessly cool. I really want to be her when I grow up. She's such a nice person and I know I shouldn't idolize celebrities blah blah blah but I have loved every song and every project she's done that I bought both her albums and vinyls and hung them on my wall which I took a picture of and showed her and she said she loved it like yeah I hope she knows how much I love her. I'm telling myself I can't die without meeting her and seeing her live which is one of the things that's keeping me going. She gives it her all every performance. I know I'm going to meet her. LOL. If I met Kobe, then I'm definitely going to meet her one way or another. I'm manifesting that shit right now and I'm going to make it happen. I just love her so much like the first time she messaged me back, I cried. lmfaooo. I cry so much, someone should do a study on me. A conversation and hug from her would heal me in so many ways and we were even born in the same month!! And she speaks so intelligently and articulates so well. I think she's so fucking smart. She says it like it is and she's not scared to disagree with people and things. LOL. I remember everyone telling me that I was going to meet Kobe in high school and I kept having dreams where I met Kobe and tried to get a picture with him but my phone wouldn't work and I would always think like fuck, if I met him and this shit happened, I would cry. Lo and behold, a few years later I met him at his book signing at The Grove and it was worth it. The worker who took my picture did an amazing job taking my pictures with him and you can see how star struck I was to meet him. He was so nice and asked me if I wanted a hug and I was like yes!! I miss him everyday and I hope him and Gigi are well. And I hope when I meet La Roux, she doesn't think I'm weird or annoying as I know she has anxiety. Like I said I'd love a hug, a convo and picture (mirror selfie would be so amazing, lmao) with her. <3 It's going to happen! I just need to take care of myself first (which I'm fucking doing even if I have to fucking scream and bitch and moan about it until I get to a place where I feel better and my health is in a better place!)

Okay there was like a lot of negativity in this post because sometimes a bitch needs to fucking vent and let some shit off her chest (besides talking about my love for Kobe and La Roux) but I know they would want me to keep going despite of it all. The two celebrities who really did change my life for the better and I hope they know how much of a positive impact they've had on me. I just have to believe that my body is going to heal while also putting in the work to help it heal. I also have to believe that someone is going to hire me at the end of the month and that I'm going to pay off my debt. I need to give myself more credit for surviving all of this. I know something great is coming my way and money is going to flow towards me. I'm going to have good health and eat what I want again without pain. I am also going to Life is Beautiful tomorrow which should be nice!! I'm going with John and it's probably something I need. Probably have a heart to heart with John and cry over everything with him. I love concerts so much. I love music so much! I think it'd be nice to just get out of the house and not stare at my screen and wallow in my thoughts. lmfao. I'm just trying to appreciate and be happy with where I am now and hopefully good things follow me for it. I need to have faith even if it feels hopeless right now. Stay strong, Jane. You didn't come this far to come this far. You are protected, guided, and loved. Everything always works out for you! Believe it! Manifest it! Claim it! Please remember this on the days where you feel like everything is going wrong. I love you so much.

[izzythehutt]

I think I’ve figured out why TMA Season 5 fundamentally doesn’t work. It’s like Dante’s Inferno totally divorced from any sense of sin or objective morality, i.e. two dudes walking around in a mystical hellscape watching people get tortured in a variety of horrible ways for no particularly good reason.

Also it’s not frightening, just depressing and, at times, pretentious.

#tma #the magnus archives #tma spoilers #anti tma #i guess? #if it doesn't pick up i might drop it for awhile #this season has been rather tedious so far #still waiting for elias to show up lol #the only thing that's keeping me remotely engaged is the plot based tags to the episodes #the anthology stories have basically all been forgettable duds or repulsive

[ivesambrose]

Pick a card you'd rather picture yourself in right now or find traces of a childhood memory in that made you feel happy or safe.

Note:

Pictures are taken from my downloaded tarot app decks. Shadowscapes, ostara & housewives tarot respectively.

If you'd like to book a personal reading with me, DM or email me at [email protected] with your name and query.

1. You seek some luxury. This luxury is entirely based on your perspective of what a luxury is. Could be money, a new watch, a car or just peace and happiness. You have relied on yourself so far and you want your rewards. You want a chapter to conclude already so a promising one can begin.

Rewards seem slow to come or the success you're looking for seem a little too far away. You want the world in your hands but you wonder how to go on about it.

You've used your logical side for so long that you've begun questioning your intuition and your hunches.

You would also like a better social circle / friends. Not the ones who feel more lik acquaintances that you can't truly rely on.

And it hurts because all you would like to do is be materially secure is to have enough. Recognition would be nice but your priority right now is simply having more than enough. So you can bask in your solitude and get in touch with the creative side you may have abandoned.

A change, just like the seasons is certain.

One of the many good things you can claim for yourself is a sudden turn of events that bring in wealth, luxury or a celebration.

A party or a gathering that brings you the right contacts and networking.

Finally overcoming that one obstacle that seemed so tedious and took forever only to find that it holds the key you were looking for. The sluggishness and uncertainty slowly leaves. You learn to use your logic, wit, communication skills and intuition together.

Progess is inevitable.

Timings : when you least expect it

Significant astrological timing : Gemini season

2. Change, transition, transformation... Sound so poetic and inevitable don't they? All these words pretty much mean the same and often bring endings and endings aren't always painted in pretty pastel hues are they?

You once prayed for this change or to some of you, you had it coming and you knew but you're still holding on to things you'll have to let go of anyway.

Maybe it's a lifestyle you are too familiar with but wanted out of, maybe a recurrent thought process that manifested in a weak self concept, perhaps its an environment, maybe its a dream, a goal? A person?

Deep down, you want to be free and start over. Not worry about the good nor bad of a previous chapter or phase in your life even if it lasted for a long while. But it scares you to take that risk and make the dive.

Whatever that was, sweet or bitter or a bit of both. Felt a little too comfortable for you after a while didn't it?

Isolation and walking the path alone makes you feel like everything is crashing down on the inside. You asked for it but now you aren't sure why?

It's too dark sometimes and you could use more than a flashlight of hope. A sunrise would be more than fine.

Lucky for you, your gift is the exact thing that is currently feeling like a curse to you.

You get power and a renewed sense of self. Maybe something related to music and media too?

Learning boundaries and respecting others too.

I also see freedom from someone that has been treacherous and likely lived under the same roof.

An accomplishment that brings you wealth, a recognition or success in something you participated in, your previous honors or certifications coming in handy for something, little bits of luck and moments of being in the right place at the right time doing you well. A lover/dark haired admirer you've read or written about that unlocks yet another realm of exploration.

Timings : Ongoing

Significant Astrological Timing : Aquarius season

3. Your heart hurts, it feels as though its bleeding through your ribs and you're smiling blankly. The wounds are old but they've added up making you ultra cautious of everyone and everything.

Someone you trusted and relied upon could have betrayed you. Now betrayal comes in several shades but they all hurt the same. You worry you wear a mask too now afraid of who will see the real you. Not everyone deserves to see or know that.

You wanna spread your arms so badly and feel free but you carry your heart with you still and you're afraid to let it speak. You want peace and you want to grow. Its okay if you're starting small. I don't think you judge yourself too harshly at this point but you do carry resentment for the times you felt alone and weak having to defend yourself.

It's always been a fight hasn't it?

You just want to sit down and cry it out but even the thought of it feels lonely.

Some of you really want to overcome a crisis almost (security and finances) even if you come from a well off background you want to make a legacy for yourself. Build your finances, empire, sources so strongly that no one can even think of touching the foundation. Above all, you wouldn't have to think about relying on anyone for security and company nor compassion anymore.

And you know what? You receive exactly that.

Knowledge and skills that help you build yourself towards your goals / ideas / project. You'll keep them a secret or amongst extremely few people.

But most importantly there's equilibrium and harmony. As days go by, you'll feel less and less angry. Maybe you even leave your town, city or country. There's a calling you have to heed.

You become a little more flexible and understanding, a little more dreamy, a lot more intuitive. Open to the unknown, having faith in what you yet can't see.

Fully aware of the power of your thoughts you now use them wisely.

Timing : coming 6 months

#pick a card #divination community #free readings #tarot community #pick a picture #tarot pick a card #PAC #pick a card reading #tarotblr

[cherry-lipbalm]

anthony bridgerton

fifth season and counting.

yn x anthony, not really enemies to lovers more i-fell-in-love-with-you-but-don’t-think-i’m-good-enough-so-i’m-going-to-pretend-it-never-happened vibe

concept: yn has lost count of how many seasons she has gone without a suitor, but her mother certainly hasn’t, and if it takes recruiting anthony bridgerton to get her off her back, then so be it.

Last season, Daphne Bridgerton wedded the Duke, and since, I have yet to have a single ounce of peace from it.

If it weren’t for Lady Whistledown’s debriefs, nor the tedious eyes of every lady I passed and their mothers, or even the judgemental gaze fermented in the portraits of the hallways I passed on a daily basis, willing me to do better, I’d be living a rather tranquil life, if I don’t say so myself. Yet, I was to be chastised at every minute. On every walk, at every meal, throughout every soirée and ball that presented itself, I felt my tolerance, and that of everyone else’s, deteriorate. With that, at least, my mother and I could find common ground.

“You’ve been awake since dawn, I suppose?” She asked, accompanied by the persistent anticipation of argument to her tone that she had seemed to make rather well an acquaintance with as of late.

“And why do you suppose,” I countered, focusing my gaze on the eggs ahead of me. To the sound of her sigh I remembered to remove my elbows from the table as I dug in, but not without a sneer to the empty seats surrounding us at the breakfast table to emphasise my point of who on Earth I was supposed to be impressing.

“I noticed the stable appeared rather… unkept on my walk this morning,” she hummed. An absentminded finger of hers droned around her glass, her appetite obviously more centred on something else entirely.

“You mean you’ve been spying,” I said, shoving a forkful of runny yolk and bacon in my mouth, much to her dismay.

I ignored the rolling of her eyes. “I’m not spying. Merely observant.”

I hummed back, glancing up to see her reprimanding expression before gladly returning to my breakfast. Clarence always seemed to know when tensions were running high, and served my breakfast accordingly: stacked to the brim. She knew that if anything was to take my mind off things, it was her Full English. I had smiled when realising she had added an extra slice of toast, with inch-thick butter to accommodate for it. She’d been right to do so; tonight was Lady Danbury’s ball, one that had been mentioned throughout the papers and this house far too many times to count. A dress had been hanging on the back of my bedroom door to be a painful reminder every time I opened my eyes for the past week, had my mother’s relentless comments not stricken the fear into me enough.

“I only say, YN, for I am concerned you won’t tire yourself out for tonight. I need you to be proper, and… observant, like myself.”

“Hm, you’ve made it abundantly clear,” I muffled, finding my way to the mushrooms.

“Oh,” she tutted, as if I were some sort of dog she’d seen relieving itself on the street. “Must you eat so…”

She failed to finish her sentence, but the scorn of her voice made me raise my eyebrows all the same. Looking up for the first time that morning, I adjusted to how far away we were, her sat at one end of the banquet table and I at the other. I struggled to see her face past the unlit candles and floral centrepieces, but felt the weight of her judgement from the distance between us all the same. It seemed, no matter how many times I endured it, there was no end to the way it pierced through me.

“So…?” I urged her.

“I just hope you have more sense of manners this evening.”

Something told me her issue surrounding me and my breakfast had nothing to do with my execution of manners.

“I will, mother, I always do.”

“And yet, here we are.”

I stopped eating, letting the blistered tomato go amiss on my fork as I set it down. I swallowed apprehensively, and wiped the corner of my mouth with a napkin. My mother had seemed to make some sort of game out of my failure as a lady. How I’d been unable, for the fifth season now, to entice any approval and secure a marriage — nay, not even a suitor. While it was some sort of cathartic ritual for her by now, the novelty had long worn off, and something my mother failed to imagine was how wearying it was for myself too.

I sat back in the chair, allowing my plate to be taken away. My mother cleared her throat across the table.

“Tonight is a big night, YN. Lady Danbury will be accompanying us–”

Babysitting me, she meant.

“– and I am sure of it, this time. We will find you an eligible bachelor.”

And, my God, if I had a shilling for every time I heard her say that.

one dress fitting later

I had been reminded now, sixteen times, the way to hold my fan, to bat my eyes and, most importantly, to smile. My mother assured me that the only thing she wanted to pass my lips was a grin, and even then, only at the man who we (she) deemed most worthy.

I willed myself not to let it slip that beggars can not necessarily be choosers.

By the time our carriage arrived in front of Lady Danbury’s conservatory, I had managed to bite my tongue (I had learned well, it seemed). My mother and I, though already remarkably well acquainted with the instances of balls and, above all, Lady Danbury’s opulence to running them, peered through the carriage’s curtains eagerly. The courteous sound of people arriving provided a certain buzz to the atmosphere that I hadn’t missed at all. While my mother watched on with glistening eyes, already brandishing the delicacy of her posture, I greeted hello to the old friend residing in the pit of my stomach known as forsworn dread. I was much older than the first time I had attended a ball, and still, I hadn’t found a way to combat the nerves that attacked me in this moment. There was no alleviation in something that only got worse every year. The stares would be more intense, the whispers even louder. Bile rose to my throat at the thought of how everyone would stop when I entered. They’d look down on me with pity, some would wonder why I put myself through trying, mercilessly, every year to be dealt the same fate, to only be in the same position again next year. The music would shudder with my footsteps, a falter to the ideal scenery, shattered by my mere presence. I’d be an impostor, a spinster. I didn’t belong here, and I wanted to go home.

“YN, come.”

My mother was wedged in the pebbled path to the conservatory, adorned with lights and ivies. The artificial hope in her countenance made me want to return home even more, but I knew it would be worse for me to do so, to admit defeat and to let down the woman in front of me, to whom I owed so much more.

“Yes, certainly,” I whispered. There was no ignoring the influx of people swarming into the conservatory, but I simply had to pretend it did not matter. I heard my mother beginning to entertain someone who had rushed to her presence, and she was swept away in an instance, leaving me on my own, which I was left to deliberate on whether was a fortune or not. I took solace in the fact that I hadn’t recognised the voice of who had cornered my mother, and relished in that, if there was one good thing that could come from my frequent annual visits, my generation had long been wedded off, and maybe no one around here would know me at all.

I stepped out, my hand guiding itself to where the guard stood, completely in awe of what Lady Danbury had presented, and in some oddly confound optimism that maybe tonight wouldn’t be so bad.

Whatever hope I momentarily grasped subsequently dissipated, however, when my own grasp did not meet that of any guard alongside the carriage, and my heel slipped, sending me pummelling to the ground.

I, suddenly, no longer admired the dedication of the pebbled path, not when the rocks themselves were jabbed into my knees and palms. I only hoped the fall was not enough to draw blood, or graze what skin of me was visible, as it would surely be enough to ward off anyone that even dared to go near me. That, and I prayed my screech had not caught any eyes, although I knew it was fruitless to think my fumble had gone unnoticed.

Already, as I knelt on the ground of the path, having not even made it inside, I felt defeated. I subsided my weight onto my backside, slouching on the floor, barely concerned to any ripping of my dress or what onlookers may think. Let them judge, I thought, what more could they say? This was only this night’s entertainment to them. Something else to add onto the list of why my whole prospect as a woman was a failure.

“Oh dash, are you alright?”

I cursed myself. The last thing I needed now was anyone’s feigned pity.

“I am quite fine, thank you,” I said, clearing my throat and pushing down any flushed humiliation that threatened to make me a teary mess. I could at least still try to redeem myself, but I wasn’t going to do a good job of that whilst kneeling on the floor.

“Here, let me help you,” the voice came again. Insistingly kind, and yet I wanted to rip their face off. But I was a lady, so I glanced up and mercifully took the gloved hand outstretched to me.

I sighed, curling my fingers around their palm. “Thank you.”

They pulled me up with an ‘uumph!’ back onto my feet. The shock of it all must have still been coursing through me, for I wobbled on my stance, but the grip tightened on my hand and another came to my forearm to steady me. I leant on it dependently, desperate not to suffer another embarrassment. Though, if that would be embarrassing, I dreaded to think what someone would call this interaction.

“I’m so sorry, this is… humiliating, to say the least,” I said, trying to laugh it off.

“Please,” he said, “don’t apologise.”

The gratification of his voice willed me to raise my head. I was surprised, grateful and humiliated all over again when I saw he was someone relatively close to my age. He looked upon me with a small smile, like an old friend with whom I was sharing an inside joke with we have rectified years before. I felt more at ease in the ability to laugh at myself when what was a courteous smile reached his eyes and his hands fell.

“I rather indulge in a drink or two myself before an event as such in an attempt to dilute any nerves, but… dare I suggest you may have had one too many?”

I scoffed, much too loudly, unattractively, and close to his face, and was endearingly reminded of the time my mother had chided me for doing so a few years prior in front of a Lord Dawsdon, who I was to never hear from again after my mother likened the outburst to that of a certain farmyard animal. I composed myself rather quickly, and pursed my lips, reminding them their only duty was to smile.

“I assure you,” I said nevertheless, “I am somewhat appropriate. Even I am aware arriving intoxicated is less likely to make a good impression.”

“Ah, you are more well versed than you seem,” he said, and I resisted the urge to scoff again. “Are you sure you’re alright?”

“Yes, perfectly fine, thank you.” I smiled. “Just a wobble.”

The fear coursed through me then that maybe I had broken a heel, and watched the amusement of the man before me transform to worry at my own as I frantically waded through the layers of fabric to my dress to ascertain the status of my shoes. My mother had bought them especially, and to think of her finding them broken made me revisit the bile in my throat from earlier. I bundled up my skirt, revealing their intact state, and breathed a sigh of relief. When I returned to the man’s gaze, I saw him peering at where I had previously with an astounding flush to his cheeks. I wasn’t particularly well-trained, despite my years’ experience, to the etiquette of… everything, and realised only then that maybe hiking my skirt up past my thigh and not been necessarily appropriate.

“My apologies,” I muttered, dropping the hem and fixing my hair in the awkwardness that ensued. He coughed clearly and abruptly, and insisted.

“The apologies are all mine, Miss…” his voice trailed away, and I clicked all too late that he was searching for my name.

“YN!” My mother called, punctual as ever. She had obviously grown impatient; she had that wrinkle above her left eyebrow that told me so. I dreaded to keep her waiting any longer, but couldn’t disguise the thankfulness I felt for her interruption, for possibly the first time in my life. I bid my farewell to the man with a, less than par, curtesy and rushed to meet my mother, a careful yet haste flurry in my steps as to not cause any real damage to my heels this time.

I hoped that maybe that would be the worst of it, and I could leave that part of the night behind me, outside of the conservatory, this ball and my prospects, where it belonged.

part two.

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[cassandraclare]

The Letter Game (in full)

Many have asked to read last week’s letter game in a slightly simpler format. So here it is, for everyone’s enjoyment in plain text, under the cut. The action takes place between Chain of Gold and Chain of Iron. Read on . . .

1: INVITATION

To all and sundry—

The leaves are changing, and with them the season. It grows colder in London by the day, and even without the pestilence that recently ravaged us, even without demons breathing down our necks, cold with chill—now is the time for all good Shadowhunters to come to one another’s aid, and support one another in that most hallowed Nephilim tradition: song and dance.

So, a Musicale! The Townsends are pleased to invite the Enclave, in toto, to our West End home this Friday’s eve. Refreshments will of course be served, but the entertainment will be provided by you, our esteemed guests and friends. We would be so honored if you would help us welcome the coming of winter by bringing your most excellent capers and ballads, to keep us warm.

Grahame and Millie Townsend

2: Lucie » Cordelia

Cordelia, my sister, the very twin of my own heart,

Can you believe the Townsends’ invitation? How pretentious can one be, I ask you! It took all four Herondales an hour of discussion to conclude that “Friday’s eve” meant simply Friday evening rather than the eve before Friday (that is, Thursday). And is the demons or our necks that are meant to be cold with chill? “Cold with chill!” As a writer of words—no, even only as a reader of words—I am offended.

I digress, however. I write to ask whether you will be attending, as that will be significant to my own decision of whether to go. I asked James, and he was unenthused but “supposed” that “we must.” So I wish to let you know that if you don’t fancy attending, I believe James could be easily convinced. But, as unpleasant a night as it promises, I fear he may be correct that “we must.” You and he, after all, must do the social rounds as a betrothed pair, and I—well, I can hardly sit alone in my bedroom all night while all my friends witness Catherine Townsend’s cold-blooded murder of “O mio babbino caro.” 

So whatever your preference, I will be amenable. We can put on our frills and watch the most foolish of our set warble and prance, and at least we will have each other’s company and champagne. Or, if you’d prefer, tea and draughts in the Institute parlour. I am yours to command, my warrior-sister.

(I have realized only at this moment that perhaps you not only wish to attend but to perform yourself; if that is the case, I retract all previous mentions of warbling in favor of my unconditional enthusiastic support. I will even accompany you, if you wish, but I am not very good at the spinnet so please, something fairly slow would be best.)

Yours ever across the still waters of time and space,

L. Herondale

3: Ariadne » Anna

Dear Miss Lightwood,

I expect that you will have received the same invitation to the Townsends’ Musicale that the rest of the Enclave has. I write with the question of whether it’s your intention to attend, and to say that I hope that you will, and that I hope to see you there.

It’s not your sort of party, of course—dull, bourgeois, and stuffy, I imagine you’d say—but since as the daughter of the Inquisitor I am rarely able to appear at the more lively gatherings that you prefer, I do plan to attend myself, much as I would rather be elsewhere. (At one of those lively gatherings, perhaps?) Catherine will have my head if I am not there to keep her mother out of her hair, for one thing, and for another…well, I wish to see you.

I have it on fairly good authority that your brother and his roisterous band, or whatever they call themselves, are planning to be there. So I also write to implore you to come so that a cooler head will be present and any explosions, or implosions, or indeed bedlam of any kind, will be, if not prevented, at least more easily contained and cleaned up after.

For the event I am thinking of a dress I have, in a deep ruby color, with a rather striking neckline. I am no great judge of my own appearance, but I do know your taste and I daresay you will find it flatters me. For your part, I hope you will wear those pinstriped trousers you have. You have not worn them in an age, and I miss them, or rather, I miss how elegantly you wear them.

In short, I hope to see you there.

I know it is not your habit to keep letters from admirers, but rather to use them to kindle your fireplace. Perhaps that will be the destiny of this note as well, but I believe not. I come to you not as an admirer, after all, but as a friend, and one who wishes you all the best things in the world—

Yrs.,

Ariadne Bridgestock

4: Anna » Matthew

Mr. Fairchild—

Matthew, I have instructed the courier bringing you this note to evaluate your sobriety and, if it is found wanting, to slap you across the face twice. Straighten up and pay attention, you debauched fool. It’s still breakfast-time. And this is important.

Are you going to the Townsends’ musicale? 

Let me rephrase: if you know what’s good for you, you will be going to the Townsends’ musicale.

I hope to enjoy your company there, of course, as my friend and companion. But also, to be frank, I will need the support. My night was free and so I told them I would be there, but I wasn’t thinking, and now I’ve received a note from one A.B., letting me know in no uncertain terms that she will definitely be attending as well. It will be a large gathering, no doubt, and most of our time will be spent watching Thoby Baybrook chase after the juggling-balls he keeps dropping during his performance, rather than close-quarters socializing. But—and I trust in your confidence on this matter—I find I flutter with nerves. Imagine. I never flutter!

I hope I can count on you. I am not usually in the business of begging favors. However, this is an unusual situation. Matthew: she will be wearing the burgundy dress.

Anna

5: Ariadne » Matthew

To Matthew Fairchild—

All right, I’ve sent the letter. Against my better judgment, I should add. It seems more likely to drive her away than to attract her, to be honest, but you have her confidence in ways that I no longer do. If you think she is more likely to be there as a result, I will trust in your plan.

However.

I am fully aware that under most circumstances neither she nor you would be found as such a dreary party as an Enclave-wide musicale. (Nor would I, but as the daughter of the, et cetera et cetera, I hardly need to tell you.) So let this note serve as, not a threat, but a promise: if you even think about ditching the party for one of your Downworlder orgies, or whatever your usual scene, and you leave me and her to awkward politesse over stale canapes without showing up yourself…I will follow you to the ends of the Earth and your life will be forfeit. Forfeit, Fairchild. I daresay I can best you in a duel three times out of four, but also be assured I am very good with a dagger in the dark.

I look forward to enjoying this merry entry in the social season with you. I will see you there.

Yours sincerely,

Ariadne Bridgestock

6: Matthew » Cordelia

C,

No, that won’t do at all. There are already other C’s. Christopher, for instance. Also Caiaphas, a werewolf from whom I sometimes purchase wine. (He has an excellent nose, you see.)

Cordelia Carstairs, you need not worry about the Townsends’ party. First, none of Our Lot are planning to perform at all, but merely hang back and watch the festivities while imbibing and filling seats. You certainly shouldn’t worry that you’ll be asked to dance as you did at the Ruelle. This will not be the Ruelle. It will be far more insipid.

I’m sure J is focused entirely on your responsibilities as an engaged couple to make the rounds and be seen by the whey-faced provincials of the Enclave. He is correct, as always, the bastard, but he worries too much. Rest assured that we Thieves will be concocting a plan in which we are able to (1) have a good time at the most boring gathering of the season and (2) not miss cake. (I don’t know if you have had cake at the Townsends’. They are a tedious family, but their cook is some kind of confection-obsessed elf who performs great conjurings with spun sugar and buttercream.) (Yes, he really is an elf, I think. Or Catherine was having me on. His ears are fairly pointed, in any event.)

I do not particularly anticipate this musicale with great pleasure, but I do, of course, anticipate the opportunity to spend time in your presence with great relish. Truly, my parabatai could not have picked a more suitable bride with whom to be mutually bored to tears at parties for years to come. I suggest that for this one you bring a flask to tuck into your reticule. If you don’t, worry not; I will bring two. At least two.

I remain, as always, yours sincerely, etc etc,

Matthew Fairchild

7: James » Thieves

CONFIDENTIAL—DO NOT DISTRIBUTE—ON PAIN OF TORTURE—THIS MEANS YOU

Merriest of Thieves,

After extensive discussion, we’ve reached consensus (or as close as we will come) on our plan for Having Fun At the Townsends’ Musicale Even Though It Is a Musicale Hosted By the Townsends. (A variety of alternate names were proposed, but all have been vetoed by the plan’s organizer, that is, myself. Please do not continue to send proposed names, Matthew.)

Our esteemed colleague Christopher has, it seems, been working in his spare time on a new method of rapidly sending written messages without the use of couriers. Instead, messages are sent with a combination of runes (so bring your steles) and a propellant of Christopher’s own invention. I’m told that the technique is not yet flawless, but Mr Lightwood reports that it is ready to be shown and tested, and what better place than a party at which missing the main entertainment would be not disappointing, but rather a great relief.

Down a corridor from the Townsends’ main parlour is a small games room. I say games room, but in truth it is empty of games, and nobody ever uses it. It is windowless and a bit close, but mostly empty of furnishings and a suitable location for a scientific demonstration. Even better, the corridor itself departs the parlour with a dog-leg, and once one has passed around the corner, one is invisible to the notice of the other partygoers. (See attached floor plan of the first storey of the house; thanks to TL for his freehand drafting skills.)

This plan assumes that none of you are planning to perform in the musicale itself; if this is not the case, then MF wishes me to remind you both of your loyalties and to the overall philistine-like qualities of most of the guests.

Surely this will provide sufficient entertainment to get us all through the evening.

The party is only one days away, so if there are any questions about this plan, please hiss them to me sotto voce tomorrow night while Millie Townsend is performing her murder ballads.

Courage, half a league, half a league onward, and so on,

James H

PS: For those whose main draw to this party is Morgaint’s famous Victoria sponge, Christopher assures me that we should be done well in time for dessert. (I should add a warning that it should not be referred to as a Victoria sponge within earshot of Morgaint, as he will lecture you at length about the recipe’s preceding Victoria by centuries, the history of confection in pre-Roman Britain, and so on. He is very temperamental, even for a faerie.)

8: Thomas » Alastair

Dear Mr Carstairs—

We have not spoken in many weeks, presumably as a result of the unfortunate circumstances under which we last met. Nevertheless, I write this evening to extend my wishes for your family’s continued health and good fortune.

As I’m sure you know, this Friday marks an Enclave-wide social event at the home of the Mr and Mrs Townsend. I know that your sister will be in attendance, with her fiancé. The Lightwoods—Eugenia, Anna, Christopher, and myself—are also planning to be there. And, of course, we expect the family of our esteemed Consul, including both of her sons, to make an appearance.

Shall we expect to see you there? I ask merely because if so, I will not be attending. I understand that as your family will be there you have every right to attend, so I am happy to be the one who bows out of the evening.

Yours sincerely,

Mr T. Lightwood

9: Alastair » Thomas

Mr Lightwood

Tom

Look, you,

I am amazed and impressed by the effrontery of you writing to me to ask whether I will be attending an event only to them tell me that if I attend, you will not. No doubt you are feeling aggrieved about the last time we met. Well, so am I.  Jests and pranks from our schoolboy years are hardly a good enough reason for the kind of public humiliation I suffered, both from Matthew Fairchild’s rude outburst and your own. The very thought of attending a party with the likes of you sends me into a mixture of, on the one hand, paroxysms of helpless laughter, and on the other, a thumping headache of barely contained fury that I

[letter discarded, not sent]

Mr Lightwood,

Thank you for your kind letter.  I am, of course, aware of the upcoming affair at the home of the Townsends, through the usual means of receiving my own request to attend. It would seem to me obvious that I had no need of being informed about the party as though I would otherwise be ignorant of it. Unlike some of the London Shadowhunter families, the Townsends have only ever been courteous to the Carstairs family, and the implication that I wouldn’t have received exactly the same invitation that you did is exactly the kind of nonsense that

[letter discarded, not sent]

Thomas,

I won’t be attending the Townsends’ musicale, as I am already committed to a preferable previous engagement cleaning out the pigeon cages in the Regent’s Park Zoo.

Thank you for thinking of me.

Receipt of your letter is hereby acknowledged.

I don’t know why you would write to me at all, but please do not write back to try to explain.

[letter discarded, not sent]

Thomas,

I do want to apologize, I have tried to apologize, but every time I come near you a wall of your friends prevents me from doing so. You can hardly hold it against me that I have not apologized when you will not allow me to do so. Yes, I know what I did rises far above the level of a jest or a prank. But one must be allowed to make amends somehow, for otherwise what is there? Hopelessness? Not I suppose that you care much what I feel. Just because you are beloved of your friends, and ridiculously tolerably handsome, you think —

[Letter discarded, not sent]

10: Cordelia » James

J—

Do you need rescuing? Everyone is in the games room for Christopher’s demonstration, even Thomas, who has spent most of the evening hiding from my brother. You on the other hand have been waylaid in the corner with Mrs Whatshername. I tried to get close enough to intervene but was swept away myself by Mr Townsend, who wanted to tell me about his travels in the Levant when he was a younger man. Could not tell if he was confused about my family’s origins or he simply assumed anyone would be fascinated by his tales of camels and pyramids. Anyway, M suggests he could interrupt and scold you for ignoring your betrothed. Lucie says you are ignoring your betrothed, but don’t listen to her, I know you are far too polite to interrupt a member of the older set. (If you yourself remember, please remind me of her name when you come.) 

Come as soon as you can. Do not allow Mrs Whatshername to follow you.

Daisy

11: Christopher » Thieves

To: James, Lucie, Matthew, Thomas, Cordelia, Anna, Ariadne

From: Christopher

In an ideal world, I would have been able to send you this note through this very technique I am demonstrating tonight, but it does make a fairly loud bang, and I thought that would likely give the game away. Though I wish to not allow social proprieties to impede the progress of science, I have been reminded by several of you that discretion can be the better part of valor. Although I admit I can’t think of any personal examples where that would be the case.

In the games room I have piled a supply of protective spectacles, which I suggest you wear. There is no danger of damage to your eyes, but there may be some very bright flashes. In addition, the propellant which I will be using to send the message is an experimental mixture, similar to those I have tried in the past but not exactly the same. There is a very very small chance that inhalation of its fumes may cause some temporary effects to the mind, so I recommend that you hold a handkerchief over your nose and mouth during the demonstration. To be clear, I don’t think that any of these effects would have any negative impact on our ability to return to the party and attend the musical performances afterwards. At worst, it may make those performances seem more enjoyable than they would otherwise.

12: James » Townsends

Dear Mr and Mrs Townsend,

On behalf of myself, my family, my fiancée, and my fellows, I wished to extend sincerest apologies for departing your lovely gathering without saying proper goodbyes. Your musicale was, as all would have expected, a smashing success, with performances across the board demonstrating the falsehood of the common claim that the Nephilim are unable to produce works of art. Surely your daughter Catherine’s rendition of Puccini’s famous aria could stand alongside the finest professionals to be found in the Royal Albert Hall.

As you discovered along with the rest of the guests, Christopher Lightwood wished to use the opportunity of having us all present to demonstrate the state of his newest invention. I’m told that when it is completed, it will utterly revolutionize the way that Shadowhunters are able to communicate with one another, obviating the need for the runners, couriers, and use of the mundane Royal Mail to send messages to one another. Instead we will have a fully self-contained rune-based method. Surely anyone would agree that such a development would be well worth whatever growing pains the process of invention and experimentation might create.

As you also discovered, Mr Lightwood’s demonstration took an unexpected turn, with a good amount of his customized propellant being released into your games room and corridors. Luckily, it was a mild evening, and open windows as well as the vigorous fanning of the doors by Thomas Lightwood and Ariadne Bridgestock quickly dispersed the gasses.

That said, neither I nor my companions are able to account for an interval of roughly ninety minutes between the end of the demonstration and our departure from your house. To that end, it seems that we were sadly lacking in good manners by failing to thank you for your warm hospitality at the time. Again, please accept our deepest apologies, and our thanks for that hospitality, even if it has been delivered discourteously late. 

Warmest regards,

James Herondale

13: Matthew » James

Jamie,

Good Lord, what was in that stuff of Christopher’s? Do you know if there will be any lasting effects? I hesitate to ask Kit, he seems too dismayed.

Also, I am trying to find out to whom exactly I owe an apology for specific behaviors that might have happened after the demonstration. I seem to have lost more than an hour from my memory, as well as my waistcoat and a garnet ring of which I was quite fond. Any thoughts you have would be appreciated.

Matthew

14: Lucie » James

James,

I have been expecting to hear from Matthew, but as it has been most of a day and I haven’t yet, can you please let him know that I will make myself available to be apologized to during teatime, either tomorrow or the next day. Please also tell him that I will be sending along a bill for the costs of cleaning arrack out of the skirt of my dress. For such a prodigious consumer of spirits, you would think he would have learned not to slosh them around so much when he talks. I suppose Christopher’s propellant takes some of the blame, but honestly, Shadowhunters are trained in agility and dexterity and even under the influence of one of Christopher’s experiments he should be able to, at very least, not slosh so.

Lucie

15: Cordelia » Anna

Dear Anna,

The last hour or so of the party was something of a blur for all of us, I think. But I feel confident in assuring you that both you and Ariadne acted with all due propriety, and that at no point did you “make an ass of yourself,” as you put it, either out among all the guests or in the games room. 

Also, when next you speak to Ariadne, please compliment her on her lovely dress. It suited her quite well! I wondered if you were responsible for finding it for her? You do have such an excellent eye for what colors and cuts will flatter. 

Anyway, do not worry. I have made some private inquiries, and nobody took note of any unusual behavior on the part of either yourself or Miss Bridgestock. (In fact, Rosamund seemed to be under the impression that you were shamelessly flirting with her. I can confirm that you were not and that Rosamund simply has an odd way about her.)

Are we still on for tea Wednesday? Let me know if not and otherwise I will see you then.

Cordelia Carstairs

16:  Townsends » Everybody

For the attention of: 

James Herondale

Lucie Herondale

Matthew Fairchild

Thomas Lightwood

Anna Lightwood 

Christopher Lightwood

Alastair Carstairs

Cordelia Carstairs

On behalf of not just our own family, but the parental generation of the Enclave more generally, we wish to communicate our displeasure with your behavior at our soirée on Friday’s eve. You are all adults or near-enough, under Nephilim Law, and so you should be held to account as any adults would be. And you should be ashamed of yourselves.

Given the influence had by many of your families, and the small size of the London Enclave, we cannot bar you from all of our future events. If only we could. We will, however, be more careful in future about shutting off access to rooms in our house that are not intended for use by party guests.

Rather than taking the time to craft individual complaints, we hereby itemize the most obvious of our grievances, so that you may all have your behavior exposed to one another. Certainly none of you deserve to have your actions kept private.

Alastair: We were glad to see you eventually arrive, though there is a wide difference between “fashionably late” and the hour you appeared. (Just in time for the desserts, we note.) Also, the song you performed was highly inappropriate for the ladies present, especially the unmarried ones, such as our daughter, and also your own sister.

Lucie: While we have always supported your hobby of writing down entertaining tales, and we understand that the storyteller’s art does involve artistic creativity, your ongoing, strident, melodramatic narration of the events following the Christopher Lightwood Incident was not appreciated by us or, especially, Mrs Rosewain, who you referred to throughout as “Mrs Whatshername.” 

James: Your interruption of the cake serving to declare your undying devotion to your true love was a gallant gesture. It might, however, have gone over better had you not pledged your troth to a portrait in oils of our ancestral matriarch, Frideswide Townsend. Your taste is admirable, of course, and she was considered a great beauty. It is unfortunate for your affections that she passed away in the late sixteenth century.

Anna: We would thank you to come by and pick up your brother from our house at some point. He has been muttering to himself, fiddling with a pencil and paper, and threatening “another test, much improved.” Please retrieve him post-haste.

 Thomas: We don’t know how you made the acquaintance of that vampire who attempted to accompany all of the performers on his dulcimer, but he is not welcome back to our house, and if we see him again, neither are you.

Matthew: Whatever was in that bottle you were plying to my mother, we only found her this morning, napping on our roof. When we woke her she said it was of a greenish color and asked for more of it. We would be obliged if you could bring another bottle by, at your convenience.

Cordelia: Your demonstration of the supernatural sharpness of your sword was very impressive, even if it was not in the spirit of the kinds of performance we expected for a musicale. It is, however, not all that surprising that it was able to cut through our drapes, a dining-room chair, or the sponge cake. We spoke to your brother, and he suggested that we should feel free to send an invoice for replacement costs to the Herondale family, since soon enough you will be their trouble, and not his.

In short, you have all behaved abominably, and are, each and every one of you, embarrassments to your various hallowed family names. 

We hope you will join us the Thursday after next, for boating and luncheon in Hyde Park.

Mr and Mrs Graham Townsend

#letter game #the merry thieves #the last hours #chain of gold #chain of iron

[shinygoku]

gordon gordon gordon gordon

Gordon Gordon Gordon Gordon!!

He's been sneaking into these asks by proxy, so it's finally time for his dedicated session, hehe~

First impression

WUAAAGH what's up with this WEIRD LONG NOT-THOMAS and his FACE?!

Impression now

His face is still pretty weird! But you know what else it is? Part of an Absolute Legend ✨

Like, man, Gordon is such a big presence and interesting character, the entire premise leans heavily on him. I'm inclined to go as far as to say that the Blue Boys of 1, 2 and 4 here are the three most important characters for the franchise (not at all to knock everyone else lmao) and they slot nicely into a Triforce of Courage, Wisdom and Power, and Gordon has Power in spades!

Gordon is The Vain One (not James!). He's legit very strong and the fastest on Sodor (which isn't just being a big fish in a small pond because that island has some crazy cool engines!) but unfortunately he lacks humility. His success seems to have been lodged in his head before the series even begins and this Pride is the source of pretty much every single conflict he's involved in.

But when it isn't his self satisfaction in his actions, it's being smug about being such a grand, magnificent Tender Engine and he is snooty as hell about it. He seems to look at smaller engines [pretty much everyone compared to him lol] as a lesser class, particularly if they're small and cheeky and Tank Engines. This may not be the case exactly, but his way of talking to them and some other things he says are very condescending.

However... as much as a gigantic jerk he is at several points, with Gordon I kinda feel like he plain ass doesn't conceive of his words being out of line. That and having to Unlearn things... he's not innately better than everyone else. He sees things in black and white. There are Useful Engines, and those who should be scrapped. There are Noble Tender Engines and Lesser Tank Engines who exist to do the tedious chores on behalf of the Superior ones. Edward doing shunting is seen as Demeaning and contradicts Gordon’s world view that Tender Engines Don't Stunt™, and he doesn't like that one bit! (Also Edward was crossing the picket line but that wasn't Awdry's concern lmao)

Related is Gordon does seem oddly dense at times, like assuming that Tenders are in of themselves a Status Symbol rather than a large lunchbox of sorts lol, or that Tender Engines like him being too heavy for Branch Lines being because something about Branch Lines are degrading. This might be all Elitist Brainwashing influence. But still, that he just takes these as The Truth means I get to affectionately call him an idiot. And there is no other way to explain how he genuinely believes Bill and Ben were going to murder him if he wasn't missing a few brain bolts in there.

Fortunately, he does eventually start to learn the important lessons.... very gradually, but the Early Gordon is a pretty different beast to Later Gordon, and it's wonderful~

Also, I gotta give credit to him for having some moments of utter brilliance and actual grasp of reality and more complex matters, like culture. (Yeah, I'm rolling with his geniune Opera Knowledge from s6 of all things. It's good!) As much as Awdry himself may have disagreed, Gordon was in the right to want a Station Pilot and the Strike was called for (not bullying Edward for it, but myeah) ...but this leads to my next point: He seems to have a mental block when it comes to Emotions.

Certainly, he's as emotional as the others are, it's not just a scale of Snooty, Arrogant, Condescending, Prideful ....well, it is, but ALSO the more mixed and varied feelings: Shame, Sadness, Fear, Ambivilance, Irritation, Anger, Passion, Amused, Delight and so on. However, Gordon is seemingly unaware of how his words may make the others feel, and even at his cruellest it doesn't look like he's aware he's twisting a knife in. To Gordon, he's being honest, but his verbose manner ends up twisting and wriggling away from any valid point like an overgrown vine that somehow links back to how [Other Engine] is disgracing him, Gordon, by association.

Examples include: Being offended by Henry's new shape (??? Gordon dude he nearly died and this is an improvement, a good thing!), saying that Edward's age and difficulty starting a heavy ass packed load of passengers is grounds to be Retired or even Scrapped, other little insulting things like calling the likes of Thomas and James Little insistently (it seems to vary if he's trying to put them down or actually be affectionate), and many more when in the hands of inept writers who have to wheel out the same Gordon Learns A Lesson Plot every other season.

Like I said in the James post, I also think he kinda poisoned the Red guy with his snooty attitude... but I maintain that I think Gordon was unaware of this. He may know he has Influence, and enjoy that, but he really truly doesn't appear to mean to mould James into a smaller, redder version of himself. He's oblivious and from his own point of view, benevolent. Which is in fact a dangerous combo indeed!

It's... a lot o7;;

Again though, if you're looking at the books and s1-s5 of TVS you can see him grow and change. He does take a while to learn the lessons, but as time goes on he moves 2 steps forward and 1 step back, then eventually less steps back entirely. It's great! And so is Gordon. A big dumb meathead with not entirely uncalled for delusions of granduer. A dramatic so-and-so who is the best engine for his job.

I love this sophisticated jock who grows more kindness~ 💙

Favourite moment

Hm! This isn't as easy to decide lol. We all like Gordon Goes Foreign... but you know what sticks in my mind more?

hOOOOOOOOOOSSSSSSSHHHHHHHHHHH

Look, I’m not 100% objective, here! But Ringo’s read of this line is fantastic (and keeps making me expect him to finish saying OOOHH SHIT) and it’s also a well deserved bolt of divine retribution for how rude he was being earlier. (As long as my essay already was, he very much needed the knocking down of some pegs here!)

Idea for a story

While both my fics with him thus far have been variations of Pre-Canon, Full-Arrogance and Snobbish Gordon (and both were a lot of fun!) ...but I cannot bear the same expired horse being beaten more when the story is set waaay later but he’s still up his own ass. Please, PLEASE writers, let him hold what growth he’s managed to gain!

I think it’d be good to accept that he’s gonna be outdated sooner or later, so have him help train another High Speed Engine and take them under his wing. The Christopher Awdry books kinda have something similar with Pip and Emma, but I think a better way of having Gordon be involved would be if he was actively doing some mentoring himself, as well as being a neat parallel with Edward, whose type was once Express only but got outclassed by A1s, and so the same can happen to this big A1 -> A3 lad and he can form a healthy relationship with some bright eyed newbie (and maybe have some self awareness and try to stop their head getting too large, lol).

Unpopular opinion

I know I just said him mentoring would be a cool story idea, but in canon? He is NOT a resident Dad type!! He’s a hotshot young man but he’s also a hot mess. He’s physically large but he’s not got the Energy of someone who dispenses sage advice and a shoulder to cry on. At best, he’s a weird uncle! One who means well but you shouldn’t take his life advice to heart because he’s actually just as, if not more clueless than you!

Favourite relationship

I feel inclined to say Thomas here. Emphatically not because Gordon is ‘old’ and Thomas is ‘young’, but because they’re so damn alike and actually make an excellent, albeit unconventional type of Rivalry.

Both are self important with genuine finesse in their respective talents, both are honest to a fault, both have redeeming qualities to offset their initial abrasiveness, and the first TVS episode is centred on the both of them and sets the tone for the series as a whole. There’s more parallels, of course, but I also wanna point out they’re effectively the mascots of North Western Rail in universe too, and I absolutely love this picture:

I also have immense fondness for the Down the Mine paradigm shift! Thomas gives Gordon grief over the ditch incident and later when it emerges the Fat Controller is gonna send for Gordon to pull him out, Thomas is filled with dread. But Gordon isn’t using the chance to lord over Thomas, he’s actually so amused by Thomas’ mishap and it coming at a time where he’s been significantly humbled, they instead become Comrades and I love it. I eat it up! Paint Pots and Queens isn’t anywhere near as good but I adore the little bit where they’re appealing for the other, equals and watching each other’s back~

But yeah, as Friendly Rivals they both feel very authentic and yet, in a daft way, sweet ;3

Favourite headcanon

He still says “Hurry, hurry, hurry!” when pulling the Express. That’s a HC as I think the show phased it out, but I like it lol. I feel like my essay on him contains most of the headcanon stuff, but it’s all based on what’s shown, baybee!

#this is ttte #TTTE Gordon #ttte talk #Gordon the Big Engine #Thomas the Tank Engine #TTTE Thomas #snuck in a bit in there lol #mentioned Edward a lot as well but not in as much depth #I love me some Blue Engines #TTTE

[pebblysand]

[APRIL ‘22] - THE LIFE/WRITING UPDATE NO ONE ASKED FOR (AND SOME QUICK LINKS)

it’s april! yay! to start off as a disclaimer, please note that i’m not a “fun” person ( have one stock “fun fact” that i recycle every time i am asked to give one), and i hate april fool’s day, so there are no pranks, no fake shit that you have to weed through, in this post. call me boring, idc, i am! i liked april fool’s day as a child because in france, all you have to do is draw fish on paper and then tape it to people’s backs without them realising - and that is the extent of it! clear expectations, clear deliveries! i can’t be arsed to come up with pranks and fun shit, i’m not that creative, people 😆. 

Anyway, before diving into more life/writing updates, here are some quick links to different blog pages you might not see on mobile :

FIC MASTERLIST 

FIC RECS [updated]

WRITING ADVICE [updated]

ORIGINAL PIECES 

OPINION PIECES & ASKS [updated]

FINANCIALLY SUPPORT MY WRITING  (thank you!)

[NOTE: i am currently not accepting prompts]

Castles (chap 11) ETA: aiming for the 8th of may. more on that below. 

links extended a/n-s: chapter v ; chapter vi & vii ; chapter viii ; chapter ix ; chapter x

[more life/writing updates under the cut]

WHAT I’M READING:

books:

i wrote a Very Irritated Rant about men explain things to me, which is the only book i read this month. find it here. 

i have however started my classic-of-the-year, which will be 1984. i’m in a rather post-apocalyptic mood at the moment, both in fanfic and otherwise, so this is really going great. i do think it can be a be tedious and almost too details on the inner workings of the government so far, but i am very much enjoying it. if you’re looking for a more “modern” classic, i would highly recommend!

fics:

i read: and whose army? by renaissance, this month, upon the recommendation of @incalculablepower and @uncontainedhybrid, and thoroughly enjoyed it. it’s a long one shot, which are always my favourite kind of stories, and the worldbuilding in it is unbelievable. it centres on anthony goldstein and exists in an au world where harry didn’t defeat voldemort in ‘98, though the reason behind that is never really explained. i think you will love this fic if you liked the squib or the fault in faulty manufacturing. imo, it’s a cross between the two, an au, rather dystopian reality of what the da would have been/evolved to be had harry not won the war when he did, but also centring on a character who is mostly unknown in the books, and whose entire life is sort of created from scratch by the author. the fic isn’t spotless (nothing ever is) but what i really liked about it was the characterisation of anthony goldstein. as an author, i find it incredibly hard to write characters who don’t necessarily have a “drive” and sort of float through life, and that is something that renaissance does impeccably well in this. would highly recommend! 

.

WHAT I’M WATCHING: 

i mean, i think at this point we all know what i’m watching. i’ve converted half the three broomsticks discord at this point, i’ve done weekly recaps, cannot stop posting gifs… i cannot believe that it’s only been a month and peaky is already almost at the end of the season, with only one episode to go on sunday. i’m so sad and excited and all of the feels, as i said in my last recap, it’s like i’m saying goodbye to that period of my 20s, and it’s incredibly emotional. i know this blog has sort of become a peaky blinders trainwreck at the moment so if you follow me because of my potter content, i truly apologise for the spam, i’m so happy you’re still here and i promise we will eventually go back to regular programming. just let me have this one one last time 🥺.

in other non-peaky news, i’ve started watching skins (which i’d never watched before, believe it or not, and which i am, unlike euphoria, very much enjoying). in terms of films, i went to see notre dame brule in the cinema when i was in france, which was really good and made me very emotional about, well, notre dame burning, and rewatched the wind that shakes the barley which is probably in my top five favourite films ever, and made me emotional about, well, the fact that i may have watched this film ten times and have never not cried in the same two moments (namely, the scene in the prison where they sing the national anthem and the scene at the end). cillian murphy is just absolutely incredible in it and i even named sinead in the fault in faulty manufacturing after sinead in that film. it’s like it’s all come full circle. 

i’ve also watched the tinder swindler, the crypto scam and the college application netflix documentaries, which were entertaining but otherwise kind of unremarkable. i fail to understand why the college application scandal is such a big thing since all university education is paying in the us anyway, like, of course if you pay more, you’ll get in, it doesn’t shock me much, within the sphere of ruthless capitalism, but whatever. the crypto people had it coming, imo, and the tinder swindler women, i mean … i hate that they’re being blamed but also if you need to be told not to lend 30,000 quid to a complete rando, i wonder how you’ve managed to make it this far in life, you know?

.

WHAT I’M LISTENING TO:

i’m really enjoying maisie peters at the moment. very gen z, but i really like her vibe and her lyrics are incredible. 

in terms of podcasts, i wanted to mention that the what page are you on? podcast did a really good episode on booktok (the book side of tiktok) back in february (bit late to the party, i know). i generally love this podcast because it chats about books, but also both the hosts have worked in publishing and a lot of their work is about demystifying the way publishing works. i thought their take on the “newness” of booktok, and talking about how “old” books forgotten by published are now resurfacing there, how these booktok influencers are very enthusiastic about books but can be ignored by the industry because they don’t necessarily know how publishing works, was very interesting and refreshing. i personally obviously use tiktok a lot, but just like 70% of their userbase (that’s at least the last number i heard), i only watch videos, i don’t make any. i’ve spoken before about my interest in tiktok and booktok, but also my reluctance to put my face onto my content, especially in a way that is so public. i wish i couldn’t give a fuck what my friends, strangers, or potential employers, thought about my fandom activities, but i actually do, and i know how much that shit can hurt you irl. part of me wish i could engage in the tiktok discourse (especially on fanfic, etc.) but i am chicken. chicken is me. but regardless, the episode was super interesting and i would highly recommend it to you. 

.

WHAT I’M WRITING:

THE FAULT IN FAULTY MANUFACTURING IS OUT!!! seriously, you guys have been so lovely and so supportive with this fic, i honestly can’t believe it. i originally thought no one was going to read a 27,000 words fic about seamus finnigan, let alone enjoy it, but your feedback has been truly incredible, thank you. i put so much love and effort into this fic and i’m so very glad you liked it. your comments have meant the world to me!

regarding castles, i’m now entering what i’m referring to as my “april writing rush.” i would like to write and finish the next chapter by the end of the month, and hopefully post the second weekend of may. fingers crossed. i’m sure i’ll post more about it as i go along, haha. 

more generally, though, i’ve kind of come to accept that: castles will be done when it is done. and, that’s okay. what i mean by that is that i think towards the end of 2021, i had this urge to just finishitfinishitfinishit because i felt like i’d been writing it for so long, and was like, there’s no way people will stick with it for that long. i had this guilt in me that if i kept at the pace i was going, this fic wouldn’t be finished until 2023, and that, in my head, was just unacceptable. and that no one would be that patient. but the truth is that: 

people might not stick around, and that’s kind of okay. new people will come. whatever. that’s life. that’s not a reason to put so much pressure on myself, on top of my full-time job, life, etc. it’s not my job, it’s a hobby.

i was very quick and regular in my early updates because we were in lockdown, and i was unemployed. this schedule of updating once a month/every six weeks (and the guilt associated with not maintaining it) is unsustainable with a full-time life. i need to take time off to relax for myself as well, and whilst i function better when i do a writing “rush” when i hyper-focus on something and only on that for a few weeks and Get It Done, i also need to recuperate after that, and often that time is also a few weeks/month. those chapters range in the 10k-20k range and that ish just Takes Time, whichever way you look at it. 

i’m someone who is generally very project-oriented, so i have this urge to Finish Castles so that i can move on to the next thing. i don’t like switching between projects because a) i always fear that i will never finish the thing i put to the side and b)  i feel a lot of loyalty to the project i’m working on and feel like i’m cheating if i’m writing something else. but i think looking back, writing the fault in faulty manufacturing has actually very much changed my perspective on this. writing one shots and other stories is fun. writing castles is also fun. i’m allowed to go back and forth without feeling like i’m committing a crime. i took three months off castles but i did write something else, and that’s okay too. 

so, i think, from now on, i’ll probably alternate between working on castles and something else. i don’t think i would have the brainspace to have multiple long projects going at the same time, but i’ll probably write more one shots like the fault in faulty manufacturing at a more regular pace in the future. strangely, i’ve also find this helps me writing castles because when i come back to it now, i’m much more excited about it, and actually miss it. i see things like editing and plotholes and storylines way more clearly, and whilst getting back into and getting the castles “voice” back can take a bit longer than if i hadn’t been away from it, the break actually helps a lot in the long run. so, for now, that’s the plan :). 

i would still like to finish castles before august 2023, as this is my 30th birthday and i don’t know, i think that’d be cool, but honestly, we’ll see. no rush. sorry if you were hoping for a more regular schedule, but your girl needs her sweet time lol. 

.

WHAT I’M DOING:

i’ve realised earlier that i’ve now been doing these monthly posts for a year. and looking at were i was this time last year, i was So Miserable. my mum had her stroke, i was alone in paris stressing about exams i didn’t want to take, i wasn’t sure i’d make it back to ireland, it was just - let’s just say my mental health was not at its best. and i don’t want to say i’m in the Best Place Possible now, and i still worry and struggle with a lot of things, but in comparison, god, my life has improved So Much this past year. i’ve found my groove with writing, i’m happy with where i live, i’m happy with my job and while i do still feel lonely at times, and still wonder wtf i’m doing with my life sometimes, overall, i’m in such a better place. i think a lot of that has to do with the slow but steady gradual bettering of the pandemic, but even further, i think i’ve grown to accept a lot of things that have improved my life greatly. this is all a bit soppy, i suppose, but overall, i’m pretty happy. 

lastly, one thing i wanted to mention (cause i’d spoken about it a while back) was to talk about my very first real writing class went! and, honestly, the teacher was great, and i learnt a lot but i think that a) i was in the middle of intensely writing the fault in faulty manufacturing, which wasn’t really something i could speak about in class, but which was also greatly hindering the amount of time i could spend on “homework” and honestly, it was just a bit of bad timing. additionally, b) i think these classes just aren’t for me. i have a panic-level anxiety at the idea of reading things in public (as a kid i found it really hard to read aloud and was kind of ridiculed because of it, and that kind of shit sticks) and reading my stuff out loud to an audience just gives me so much anxiety, it’s not worth it. i genuinely think that if i ever became a proper writer and had to do public readings, i’d have to do therapy beforehand or something. i’d love to have a writing group where we could, like, send each other our work before, and then discuss during the session, but that does not seem to be a model that exists, so i just think these aren’t for me. i get so anxious, it’s all i think about in class haha. but, it was good to try at least once!

anyway, i think that will be all for now,  

lots of love, 

pebblysand. 

#monthly post #april 22

[everythingthemoontouches]

Hiiiiiiii~ I wanna know your thoughts/opinions about my placements:

-Libra Sun in 8th house

- Aquarius Moon in 12th conjunct Rising

- Capricorn Mars in 11th at 10 degrees

- Pluto sextile Rising?

Thanks u so much🌸🌸🌸

If you ever start an occult business I feel like you'd have the prettiest setup because of that Libra sun in the 8th. Libra is beauty, grace and tact personified.

The sun usually doesn't do so well in Libra cuz your ego is influenced a lot by the people around you. However, if you can master the fine line between doing and receiving you're set.

Funeral directors could have this placement. Property lawyer. Libra is about justice after all.

☀️Sun in the 8th :You could accidentally shed light on things people are trying to hide - infidelity, debt, money laundering, tax evasion. The occult mysteries of the world could be something that your soul longs to uncover.

♒Aqua moon: how much do you like space movies / fiction? I'm guessing a lot

♒Aqua moon : makes more I think statements than I feel statements.

Masters at cutting people off cold turkey.

Exalted Mars : you go out and get shit done. Professionally you're seen as the success archetype. Even your social media handles could reflect a well groomed, rich / successful aesthetic. You project a classy, stable, prosperous image. I think this is a great placement for a long, stable, money making career. You may be good at mobilizing support. Mars in the 11th could indicate that in order to make money, you may need to be on your feet. Or lead an active lifestyle. Capricorn Mars in the 11th could enjoy being a part of hiking or mountaineering trails. You may choose to surround yourself with people who challenge you to grow. Healthy competition can be a bit of an aphrodisiac. You know those boss babe influencer pages taht teach people how to level up, get their finances in order, dress respectably and just get their life on track? You're astrologically placed for success if you decide to pursue that.

Capricorn Mars women are usually attracted to slightly more mature and financially secure men. You've probably held high standards for the men you allow into your life.

You mention aquarius moon conjunct your ascendant so I'm guessing that's your rising sign too?

If so, you probably come across a little aloof with really innovative ideas. You give off the vibe that you improve whatever groups you're a part of. So you may be someone people think is good at networking /making friends. I know some people describe aquarius as the mad genius innovator archetype. I find that in some cases this can translate as seemingly lazy behaviour. This laziness can actually be what prompts them to improve the efficiency of long tedious processes. How do you minimize the amount if work you hsve to do? By increasing the results of each step you perform.

Aquarius ascendants are usually practical, fair and not too emotionally expressive. Especially around people they don't know really well. As I reread this, I'm reminded of Chef Reynold from Masterchef Australia. He is in season 12- creates the most beautifully moving desserts all with a super stoic or closed off expression on his face because he is super focused on his work. Is this something you could relate to?

You could be a really interesting person and well read. Have a bunch of hobbies, someone who can hold their own in conversation. Since both your sun and moon are in air signs, you are able to communicate effectively and in a clear, logical manner. I mean, we would have to look at your mercury too, but unless it was under some really negative influences we are safe in believing that what you intend to express is what people take away from what you say.Personally, this is something I really struggle with cuz my mercury sits in the 12th.

As someone with Pisces in the firsthouse, you have an ethereal beauty to you. Probably quite easy going and may have been really susceptible to manipulation in your younger years.

Moon in the 12th. Intensely creative. Add to that you're an aquarius/Pisces rising with an 8th house sun? There's a heavy mystical /spiritual energy about you. Something otherworldly almost. If the moon has malefic impacts this could cause insomnia, addiction issues and a sense of not feeling a sense of identity. Or taking on people's energy sub consciously. I believe the fact that your moon is in Aquarius could would make you less susceptible to other people's influence because of its logical and thinking nature.

Aquarius moon likes to build their own community rather than feeling super attached to their birth family - I'm not saying they don't have great relationship with family, they're just people who like to go out into the world and find their own corner.

Your closest friends may be people who live far away, whom you may have met online.

Aquarius moon natives usually love taking a nap. Feeling stressed? Take a nap? Bored? Take a nap. Uninspired? Take a nap.

Do you make music at all? Neptune ruled first house and moon in the 12th could mean you're really blessed when it comes to anything remotely creative.

you could be a natural psychic. A tarot reader I appreciate uses her paintings to channel. I feel like you could do really well if you went down a similar line. Do you receive ideas in your sleep a lot?

Pluto sextile rising? You radiate sex appeal. Power. People may feel like their life is about to change when they meet you. For the worse or better is up to them. You may come across as intimidating without meaning to.

Pluto sextile rising, Capricorn Mars, and Neptune's influences tell me that you may have a bit off an untouchable vibe to you. I'd normally say that your sun in Libra could make you appear more pleasant / non threatening if it wasn't for the fact that its placed in the 8th house. It's like there's no escaping the occult sciences with you. I personally would catch a flight to get to any Halloween parties you decided to throw

I hate to fangirl but I feel like if you were an artist and I were to come across your art, I'd feel deeply moved, like seeing a painting by someone channeling source energy.

Now I understand that some of this may be more relatable than others. That would give you a clue as to which Planets have a greater influence on you currently...

#Authenticity #Artists #Artists astrology #Neptune ruled #Pisces rising #8th house sun #Libra sun #Charming #Pluto sextile first house #Aqua moon #Aquarius moon #Capricorn energy #Exalted mars #The waterbearer #Aquarius rising #Classy vibes #Libra facts #Astro Notes #Astrology asks #Jahnspeaks #Astrology facts #Astrology observations #Aquarius 12th house #Zodiac signs