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#this shit is nuts…….insane….who do i call
whewchilly · 2 years
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Sebastian Vettel interviews at the 2022 Spanish Grand Prix
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pussymasterdooku · 10 months
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#today on: Allie Liveblogs Her Parents’ Divorce:#two and a half fucking hour long phone call with my dad about how he thinks my mom is the problem#in the INSANE dynamic they have going on with his 24 year old lesbian employee who is LIVING WITH THEMMMMMMM#and him doing his signature I Am Just A Reasonable Man Perceiving The Situation Objectively shtick#us both mouthing I WILL KILL YOU!!!!!!!! at the phone#ohhhhhh he wanted us to say she should just get over her frustration and then there wouldn’t be a problem#and she shouldn’t be frustrated in the first place because the problems Aren’t Even Legitimate Problems Because They Could Be Worse#and like. my mom has been bringing up divorce to us since 2019 and he has expressed that he wants to improve the marriage recently#and they uh. got married due to a miscommunication and are entirely incompatible LOL like i’ve been Trying but this call made me feel like…#Its So Over My Dudes#but apparently he thinks their marriage is NOT on thin ice it’s a 9/10#revised to ‘idk MAYBE it’s an 8/10’ when he told us he doesn’t think. in 34 years. they have ever had a two sided conversation…#they Have Never Once Had A Conversation by his recounting. thats not true but it IS an insane thing to say STEVE#ohhhhhh he makes me mad ohhhhh i’ve been in my Dad Anger era for a couple months and he brought it to the SURFACE tonight babey!!!!!!!!!#ohhhhhhhh he does not respect his wife he does not try to understand her he does not think of her as a real person#and i mean. she’s nuts and takes her feelings out on everyone around her!!! she is only just now seeking to manage her adhd#but she tries so hard for him and he’s just. full of shit and i’m sick of him. ok cutting myself off but this has been:#ALHPD#which will be the tag now ig if anyone wants to mute LOL#ohhhhhhhhhh this has dealt me so much psychic damage i have so much evil energy now lmao#ohhhhhh 🔪🔪🔪👨🏻🪚🪚🪚#🔨🔨🔨🔨#🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪📈📈📈📈📈📈📈📈#ok that’s all
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arminsumi · 5 months
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Satoru simping for you and Suguru telling him to give up (lol)
Note : this is just crack i found in the drafts lol enjoy??
Warnings : 🔞 mdni / suggestive
Satoru grits his teeth and makes a frustrated growl. "Fuck. She's hot." he mutters under his breath.
He looks away from you, like it was just too much to handle.
Satoru turns to Suguru, "Suguru."
"Yeah?"
"Should I ask her for her number?"
"Who — her? Nahhh, she's out of your league." Suguru says.
"What the hell! you're supposed to be my supportive best friend."
"No — I'm a cunt first and foremost before anything." he jokes.
"Can't your cunty mouth manage a little pep-talk?"
"It would be disingenuous. Satoru, I don't think you should be messing around with the principle's daughter."
Satoru makes another frustrated growl.
"Fuckin' bullshit..." he grumbles under his breath. He looks away and sinks his hands into his pockets.
"Besides," suguru adds, "she's got a boyfriend."
"—and you only tell me this now?! After I've been pining after her ass for how long!!" Satoru seethes.
Satoru looks at you annoyedly, but still admiringly. Like a doting puppy.
"Fuck it! Boyfriends are temporary!"
"Calm down, Satoru. No need to let your morals degrade over some girl."
"She's not just some girl, Suguru! Fuck, just look at her."
"Give it up, man."
"Maybe you're deterring me so you can take her all for yourself."
"Oh my god, Satoru. you sound as insane as a conspiracy theorist."
"Maybe she's into conspiracy theorists! Hey, I'll go up to her and whisper all sexy into her ear; "ooh, baby you know the moon landing didn't happen~"
Satoru looks around searching for a way to make his joke funny.
"—but I'll be landing on your craters tonight for sure."
"OH MY GOD. Satoru. stop."
Satoru continues his bullshit.
""Can I rocket into your pussy, babygirl?""
"Stop."
Satoru's laughing like a seal and going red in the face. He keeps annoying his best friend with examples of his wacky pickup lines.
"Wanna know why they call me Neil Armstrong, baby?"
"Satoru, I don't know why we're friends."
"Bitch you love me!"
"This is why she's out of your league. Because you're a nutter and she's a normal person."
"How do you know! She might be a nutter too. Shit, or at least I'll make her into one... yeah... I'll make her crazyyyy for me."
"... Satoru, don't drive her nuts."
"Okay, I won't drive her nuts. I'll just let her suck on my nuts."
"What the hell (lol)?"
"Yo, listennnnn, one look from her makes my balls feel tight and full." Satoru admits unashamedly.
"Ough! Too much information!" Suguru grimaces.
"SHE MAKES MY DICK HARD SUGURU!"
"LALALA NOT LISTENING!" Suguru plugs his ears and gets up and leaves the cafeteria.
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privitivium · 24 days
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I need more of dombot bossy gangster fr 🙏 like yes honey, i'll do whatever you want me to.
yandere 'bossy' gangster x male reader.
alright i got it... accidentally got back into tokyo rev i think. it gave me inspiration. to others first seeing; the other posts of this guy are under the first tag on my blog search thingy
both amab, dombot character, subtop reader. cw;; perverted gangster,,, stalker. creep. manipulation, exhibition.
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bro... cant get over jealous scenarios w this jealous 'bossy' guy. acting like a desperate insecure girlfriend who dominates you? as expected...
ㅡafter busting down ur door after politely unlocking it with his unconsensually copied key of ur apartment, immediately - love. showering you in affection. but not b4 expressing jealousy
"... no more of this." he'd drape himself across your lap, straddling you after grabbing your phone and tossing it haphazardly to a chair. so fucking heavy... but... his chest was right in ur face so you dont think you can complain. they were soft... squish.
"mm.. mhm." grunting back in reply, face squished against his chest.,,, continuing with a soft, "yeah, alright." ㅡwow! so congenial of you!
"that's right! mhm! mhm-mhm-mhm!" always a touch haughty as he wraps his arms around your neck; nearly suffocating you... but its okay, he's ur fated lover to be. you should totally be okay with him burying your face in his own chest..
ㅡbig on eye contact during sex. and he wants to cuddle after 'making love' with you. [ gets upset when you call it fucking, even when HE calls it fucking. "it's making love! We are Making LOVE! don't you feel it??? all the love pouring out of you????" as he speedily jerks you off and giving you no time to cool down as he strokes you even after you cum ] struggling to get away,,, but hes adamant on making more love. babe, you see that? all that love? yeah, that's what ur gonna fill me up with babe. right? DAMN right!
-and it was comfortable. and as always, the feeling of nervousness never settling as reality sets in, of course... a gangster murderer who bosses you around who happens to be obsessed with you... you wish he was a little more lenient, but at the same time ur scared to bring anything up because what if he blows up suddenly? i mean, not like he has yet... he's just scary in general.
and ... the plus is, is that he actually likes you! delusional, sure... but, c'mon. you weren't gonna turn down protection, as you were a deer in headlights when confronted by a mugger.,,,, you're weak. especially to ur lover! ㅡ knees weakening every time you see a glimpse of him in the crowds when ur in public and not with him, its so frightening... so frightening that you make sure to stay in well populated areas before getting dragged off by him and scolded that you didnt text him that you were going out today?!!!*×*$*%
ㅡin your bed, missionary, him underneath you with his legs wrapped around your hips and guiding you into him as your fave is buried in his neck,,, grinding into his hole you were stretching out w the mere girth of your cock he likes to praiseㅡ"can you believe that guy? nn-fgh fuck-fucking bastard smiling at youㅡ" and without it being your fault, you cant help but breathlessly grumble that - "shit, yeah, that's my bad, honey..." and shutting him up by sloppily shoving ur tongue down his throat, ur so sweet to him... cant help the cum that spits from his cock, ur tummy all messy but you dont mind at all, huh? yeah, babe... i dont mind if you follow me, ur protecting me from afar after all... matter of fact, its better that you come w me everywhere... "pre-nut clarity". balls deep inside him. hes so scaryㅡdont look at me with those big ass eyes full of love and adoration, freak...
-different petnames w this fucking guy. he would go insane. already he has a hard time shoving all the horniness and affection down when you call him honey so sweetly while taming him,,, but callin him baby like he does you. hnn.. short circuiting.
also big on aftercare for his darling little fated lover n all... but you don't quite like cuddling with your soft cock keeping ur cum burrowed deep inside him, feeling the slick of it drip down your balls too messily.. sticky. Fucking gross
"honey?" humming, a tad dryly while buried in his fat titsㅡ"mmmh?" he has the gall to be tired now? after drawing orgasm after orgasm outta you, with no signs of exhaustion.. "oh, yeah. shit, that's right..." seeming apologetic as he fumbles off you - "i'll clean you up, sweetums." too girly of a petname you think, but it fits. you say nothing, his bulky ass body tripping around with your nut dripping down his thighs... ekekk,,,,, then being too needy and making out with you in the shower. babe dont deny me of kisses... i love you. i love you???? I literally love you so much.
still as frightful as ever - occasionally. shrieking when he pops up in your apartment out of fucking no where - how the hell is someone so big so quiet? stalker. which he, in his eyes, calms you down by rubbing your bare cocks together again! "b-babe, i'm not scary. i love you. feel my through tranquility through the tips of our cocks, babe. babe? babe? babe?" repeatedly calling out to you as he reaches his orgasm, but you bury ur face in his shoulder and merely wrap ur arms around his neck in a mute reply... so embarrassed of urself.,,, letting this hulking intimidating man touch on you and play with himself on you.
also something about him bringing you with him to monthly meetings w his gang.,,,, he's at the head of a table or smth and youre underneath him, face buried in his muscular back w tears of pleasure in ur eyes while hes fucking himself on you??? at the same time i cant imagine this happening because like... him being too jealous to let others see you in general?!! but.. at the same time he'd want to show off his fated lover??? so perhaps. maybe. Perhaps.
ㅡso embarrassed of yourself... that youre actually whipped for this fucking delusional creep who busted into ur apartment and won't let you have any friends ... what is this, stockholm syndrome? fucking bastard. but he feels so good,,, this is willingness. your lil girlfriend whos a very dangerous man whos v needy n jealous... ur darling little honey who you motivate when he's dealing with someone who tried to rob you while you were trying to meet up with him.... [ babe r u srs... this is why i pick you up, babe. babe, what did we learn? ]
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"mhm, yeah that's right babe, tell him off." you pat him on the shoulder, in attempts to cheer him on. only makes him giddy and a little uncoordinated as he was trying to threaten this guy...
"babe, stop it..." giggling all bashful that ur not as scared. you'd say youre numb to it, almost? desensitized is the right word. he's still scary as fuck. badgering you to let him ride you while playing your games; constantly checking ur phone and being all nosy; going through your messages - um, who are these people? why isn't heㅡand his lackeysㅡyour only contact? your hulking freak of a lover is all the friend and boyfriendㅡ girlfriendㅡhusband you need, remember?????
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slaybestieslay946 · 3 months
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Everything About You - Luke Castellan
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Summary: You've been Luke Castellan's closest friend ever since he arrived at camp, but unbeknownst to you, he's been desperately crushing on you this whole time. And of course, the feelings are reciprocated. In hopes of getting over you, he agrees to give it a go with someone else. Will he realise how you feel before its too late?
Pairing: Luke Castellan x Ares!Reader
Warning: Swearing
Word Count: 4.9k
a/n: uh sorry for shitting on that demeter girl sm, there needed to be some conflict somewhere
also please forgive me for this fic being crazy self-indulgent and therefore not up to par with my usual writing, i needed to express the obsession i have w this man otherwise I'd go INSANE
MASTERLIST
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You thought you knew everything about Luke Castellan. 
After 5 years of being best friends, how could you not? You knew about the big things in his life, his damaged mother, the strained relationship with his father. You understood his anger towards the gods, the way it fuelled him to be better, work harder. 
You knew about the little things too. He liked green olives, not black ones. He always stuck his leg out from under the duvet when sleeping. He sucked at tightening his armour, always convincing you to do it for him.
You could recognise each and every one of his tells. He always cracked his knuckles before sparring. He scratched the back of his neck when he was nervous. 
But the one thing you didn’t know about him was the way he felt about you. You, who was normally so observant, was entirely oblivious to the gentle touches and soft looks he threw your way. And that, more than anything, was driving him crazy. 
“You gotta tell her how you feel man.” Chris said to him, noticing the way his gaze would constantly stray to the Ares table. Your table.
Luke scoffed, “Yeah, right. I’d rather die…” 
“Yeah, well it’s driving me nuts. All this pining. It’s-”
“Pathetic? Tell me about it.” He responded, not taking his eyes off you. 
“Well, yeah. It’s pathetic. At this point, either confess your undying love, or move on.”
Luke could safely say that neither of those options sounded particularly appealing. 
“There’s that new girl, y’know the one in Demeter?” Chris continued.
“What about her?”
“She’s pretty cute, don’t you think?” 
Luke tore his gaze away from you to look at the girl Chris was on about. She was pretty, sure, with pale blond hair and flushed cheeks. He recognised her as one of the girls that would always sit in the fields and entertain the kids with her flower magic. But still, she couldn’t hold a candle to you. 
“Yeah, she’s fine I guess.” Luke responded, noncommittal.
“See, told you so! Look, how about I set you guys up-”
“No thanks.” 
“Ugh, you're no fun. Fine, just talk to the Demeter girl at the campfire tomorrow.” 
Luke opened his mouth again to refuse, but Chris cut him off. 
“And if you do, I’ll stop bugging you about it. Promise.” 
Luke looked at his pleading face, and knew that there would be no shutting him up until he agreed. 
“Fine. I’ll talk to her.” 
*
The next morning, Luke woke up earlier than normal, so he figured he might as well get some extra training in before capture the flag in the afternoon. 
He climbed out of bed as quietly as possible, not wanting to disturb his many, sleeping, half-siblings, and grabbed his sword, stepping out of the cabin into the fresh morning air. He jogged down towards the amphitheatre, and was confused for a moment when he could hear movement inside the small arena. 
Then, as he walked closer to the entrance, he realised it was you, slashing dummies left right and centre. And, gods, the sight took his breath away. 
The early morning sun shone on your face, highlighting your sharp features. You moved like a dancer, and the sword in your hand was merely an extension of your body. Yes, they called him the best swordsman in the last 300 years, but his technique couldn’t compare to the grace of the favourite daughter of Ares. 
He watched you for a few more minutes, standing just in the entrance to the amphitheatre, until he realised it might be a little creepy to stand there and watch you, so he decided to make himself known. 
“What are you doing up so early?” He called out, striding forwards towards you. 
You quickly spun around, a shocked expression on your face that softened into a fond smile when you realised it was just Luke who had snuck up on you. 
“Oh, y’know, just preparing to beat your ass later on.”
“Aw, really? Hate to break it to you, but you don’t stand a chance.” 
“Wanna test that, soldier?” You smirked, gesturing to the sword in this hand.
Luke laughed, stabbing the sword into the sandy floor and cracking his knuckles, meanwhile you took up an offensive stance. 
And, as soon as he picked up his sword, you were on him, ruthlessly slashing through the air, and he barely had enough time to block the blow before you sliced through his face. He returned your strikes with equal vigour, moving with the precision and technique that he was so famous for. 
With the way the pair of you fought, anyone would think you hated one another, trading blow for violent blow, both of you refusing to hold back. 
Of course, it was the complete opposite, but that had never stopped the pair of you from sparring so aggressively. 
The session went on for close to half an hour, neither of you wanting to surrender to the other. Eventually you were bested, as Luke sent your sword flying from your hand, holding his own up to your throat. 
You held your hands up in defeat, rolling your eyes at him, before moving to sit down at the edge of the arena. 
“I’m still gonna win in capture the flag today.” You remarked, your voice strained from physical exercise, but jovial nonetheless. 
“As talented as you are,” He responded, sitting down next to you, “You're not gonna be able to beat Annie’s new strategy.” 
“And what might that be?” You said, shuffling closer to the boy. 
“Wouldn’t you like to know?” He teased. 
You pretended to sulk at that, turning your body away from him in the process. Luke frowned, pulling your arm to turn you to face him again. 
“Don’t be sad. Even if I told you you still wouldn’t win.” 
“Whatever. Asshole.” You mumbled. 
“What did you call me?” He asked, accusatory, and you quickly made your escape, running out of the amphitheatre to avoid his wrath. 
But, of course, he managed to catch up with you easily, slinging an arm around your shoulders as you walked. 
Somehow, you both telepathically communicated a need for breakfast, and your feet naturally led you both to the pavilion. 
“I’ll see you later on, yeah?” You asked, detaching yourself from him to look him in the eyes. 
“Mhm. Can’t wait to kick your ass.”
You laughed, cocking your head at him, “Why are you thinking about my ass Castellan? Bit weird.” 
And then you were striding away towards Clarisse, leaving the Hermes cabin counsellor frozen, a faint blush covering his face. 
Maybe Chris was right. His addiction to you was getting slightly out of hand. 
*
“That boy is so obsessed with you.” Clarisse muttered, her voice derisive as you sat down opposite her. 
“Who? Luke?”
“Who else?” 
“Nah, no way.” You responded, chuckling as you grabbed a slice of toast from the centre of the table. 
Clarisse rolled her eyes. How oblivious could you be?
“Whatever. As long as your little romance doesn’t get in the way this afternoon.” 
“No chance. Besides, there is no romance. Gods, you’re just as bad as Silena!” You laughed, slightly sheepishly. 
“Rude. But still, she’s right about these things like 90% of the time.”
Silena had been trying to get you to admit that you liked Luke for months, but each time she brought it up you would staunchly deny it. Of course, you were lying through your teeth, but it’s not like you could just admit something like that. It would open up a whole can of worms that you didn’t need. 
“Yeah, well this is the 10% then.” You shrugged, taking another bite of your toast.
“You’re impossible.”
“Aw, don’t be like that. You know I’m your favourite sibling.” 
“You were my favourite. I don’t know anymore.” 
“Bitch.”  
*
When Ares and Hermes were on opposing teams, suddenly capture the flag became even more serious. 
Ares, of course, was the warrior cabin. Their father was the god of war, making them the most feared in combat. And, most of Camp half-blood was scared shitless of you and Clarisse.
Then there was Hermes, and their automatic alliance with Athena. That meant they had Luke, the camp's star swordsman, and Annabeth and her siblings, who always came up with the best strategies. 
It was safe to say that when they weren’t competing against each other, it was painfully boring. 
You only had about half an hour before the game started, so after you had secured your armour and recovered your sword from the amphitheatre, you decided to seek out Annabeth, both because you enjoyed her company, and because she may spill something about her new strategy. 
“Hey, Annabeth!” You called out, and the young girl spun around to give you a little smile. 
“Hey. What’s up?”
“Nothing. Just wanted to see how things are going over here, y’know, scope out the competition.”
“I’m not gonna tell you our strategy.” She deadpanned. 
“Damnit. Oh well. What’ve you been up to, I feel like I haven’t seen you in ages.” 
It was true, you hadn’t spoken to Annabeth for a few days, nor had you even seen her.
“She’s been too busy stalking the new kid.” Luke’s voice interjected and he stepped out of seemingly nowhere to pat the girl's head. 
“Shut up! No I haven’t.” She sulked, pushing him off of her. 
“Wait, which new kid is this? Percy?” You asked. 
You’d seen Luke show the boy around camp. You’d been briefly introduced, but you hadn’t spoken to him all that much. The only other thing you knew about him was that Clarisse had a bit of an issue with him. Well, she had an issue with a lot of people, so that wasn’t exactly new. 
“Yep. Can you believe it? My little sister has a crush!” Luke exclaimed, holding a hand to his chest. 
Annabeth then gave him a small shove, before something clearly occurred to her, and she gave him that look that meant she had something on him. And whatever the blackmail was, it worked as he immediately held his hands up in surrender. 
“Sorry, sorry! You could never like a boy, I know that!”
Annabeth didn’t respond, simply glaring at him whilst you laughed. Sometimes, she really was intimidating. Despite being only 12 years old, she had a stare harsher than medusa. 
“Anyway. You need to get going, otherwise you're definitely gonna lose.” Luke said, pushing you away by your breastplate. 
“Fine.” You said, and were about to walk away when you noticed his own armour, as usual, wasn't done up properly. 
You walked back towards him, sighing, and grabbed the straps on either side of his body, pulling them taut, doing the same for the guards on his forearms. 
“You seriously need to learn how to do these yourself, soldier. One day, I might not be here to do them for you.”
“That’s not true. You’ll always be with me.” He whispered, more hopeful than certain about his statement.
You just rolled your eyes, grabbing his helmet out of his hands to push it on his head. 
“There. Can’t have someone hurting your pretty face, can we?”
“Uh-”
“Bye, have fun losing!” You laughed, and then you were walking away, once again leaving a malfunctioning Luke in your wake. 
“And you say I have a crush.” Annabeth snorted. 
“Shut up.” 
*
Pretty much as soon as you made it back to your team, the conch sounded, and Clarisse shouted at you to ‘get your ass over here’. 
She then quickly outlined her plan to you as you both made your way deeper into the woods, the rest of your team splitting off at different points as you went. 
You two, as well as a few others, were to be on the offensive, searching for the flag, meanwhile the rest of your team were either guarding the flag, or serving as distractions. It was a pretty typical strategy, but it had every chance of working, as long as you two were able to work out roughly where the other team's flag was. 
“Well, I’m pretty sure it won’t be at Zeus’ fist this time, that’s where Annabeth put it last time, and apparently she has a new strategy.” 
“She could be lying to you?”
“Yeah, I guess. But it’s a place to start.” Clarisse reluctantly agreed, and the two of you moved further into the woods. 
Along the way you came across a few of the blue team on border patrol, and the pair of you quickly disarmed them, you with your sword, and Clarisse with her electric staff. 
You made your way down to the south edge of the woods, and it appeared that the number of blue troops were decreasing. Normally you would take that as meaning the flag wasn’t this way, but knowing Annabeth that could be some kind of purposeful bluff, so you kept going, until eventually you reached a dead end and had to choose a different direction. 
“Ugh, the others better be closer than us I swear. I’m not losing again.” Your sibling said, batting aside a tree branch with her crackling staff. 
“Yeah. I’m sick of having to listen to Castellan gloat.” You sighed, although the noise was more fond than anything else. 
Clarisse rolled her eyes at your inability to keep him out of a conversation. 
Then, there was a sudden noise of people crashing through the trees. You both raised your weapons, ready to defend yourselves, when you realised that they wore red helmets and were in fact, your siblings. 
“Oi, Clarisse, we heard some of them talking that they’ve got the flag down at the creek! And that brat Jackson’s guarding it!”
You noticed the way Clarisse’s eyes filled with anger (and a little bloodlust). 
“You keep going,” She said, “I’ll check it out with them.” She then patted you on the back and spun around, sprinting off into the woods. 
“DUMBASS! IT’S PROBABLY A TRAP!” You yelled, cupping your free hand to your mouth, but either she didn’t hear you, or she didn’t care, because she gave no response. 
You sighed, unable to believe how gullible your sister could be sometimes. But, you had nothing better to do than keep searching for the flag, so you kept walking, slashing through the undergrowth with your sword as you went.  
Eventually you felt like you had covered the entire forest, and at a certain point you weren’t entirely sure if you were still in enemy territory or not. 
That was until Luke Castellan burst into the clearing holding your flag. 
“Fancy seeing you here.” He smirked. 
“Asshole.” You snapped, immediately leaping at him, sword in hand, just as you had during sparring that morning. God he loved your temper. 
You then began to battle one another with even more zeal than earlier, your slashes quicker and your blows harder as you moved. It was strange the way you two sparred, it was like as soon as you were in combat you forgot that he was your closest friend and that you would die for him in a heartbeat. Instead all you could think about was winning. 
He was so annoyingly graceful as he moved, each swish of his sword perfectly calculated to hit at a certain spot, each block and parry almost perfectly executed. 
Of course, your anger at his flawless technique was only further intensified when you realised that one: he didn’t have a shield, and two: he was holding his sword in his non-dominant hand, with the flag in his dominant one. 
You ground your teeth at that. How could you expect to ever beat him if he held his own so easily? Whenever you watched Luke Castellan fight, you couldn’t help but wonder how he was a son of Hermes, and not a son of Athena or Ares.
And, as always, he defeated you eventually. 
He threw a blow at you that you couldn’t quite block, and the force of it sent you toppling backwards, and landing on your ass. He quickly lunged down too, pinning you to the floor and holding his sword to your throat, so close that it almost broke skin. 
“Do you surrender?” He asked, grinning smugly down at you, and you couldn’t help but notice just how close his face was to yours. 
“Never.” You spat, furrowing your eyebrows at him. 
He sighed fondly, before moving upwards to press a quick kiss to your forehead and saying, “You’re so cute, y’know that?” 
Now it was your turn to be left malfunctioning, your face bright red with astonishment as he leapt off of you, and ran away into the forest, leaving you behind, on the floor, and completely and utterly frozen. 
And then you came back to your senses, pushing yourself off the floor and chasing after him. 
“LUKE CASTELLAN, YOU MOTHERFUCKER!” You screamed, sprinting through the woods as fast as you could, but you knew there was nothing you could do to catch up, and you could faintly hear him laughing as those stupid long legs carried him over into friendly territory. 
*
It appeared that a lot had happened during that game of capture the flag. 
Luke had gotten your flag, and was about to go over and taunt Clarisse about it, but he immediately saw that she was even angrier than usual, and seemed genuinely upset. 
He quickly went over to ask Annabeth what was going on, watching as you ran over to console her. 
“Percy broke her staff.” She said, pointing to the shattered piece of wood in Clarisse’s right hand. 
Luke winced. He knew how precious the girl was about that staff; it was the only token she had from her father. He was surprised Percy was even still breathing right now. 
“Wait, where is Percy?” Luke asked.
“With Chiron. He got claimed.”
“What? By who-?”
“Posiedon.”
The boy’s jaw dropped. 
“You’re joking. No fucking way.”
“Tell me about it. He could be the one, Luke.” The younger girl said, her voice quiet and hopeful. 
“Hm. He could be. Don’t get your hopes up too high though, yeah?” 
Annabeth sighed, but nodded nonetheless. 
Luke then gave her a quick pat on the shoulder, before beginning to walk away, intending to get a shower in before dinner, but Annabeth quickly stopped him in his tracks. 
“Where are you going? It’s dinner, silly!” 
“What, no it’s not-” 
“Yes, it is. Campfire tonight, remember? Early dinner? C’mon, you’ve only been here for what, five years?” 
Luke groaned, and suddenly all the adrenaline from Percy being claimed, and from winning capture the flag melted away, as he remembered the deal he had made with Chris the night before. 
He traipsed behind the daughter of Athena on the way to the dining pavilion, suddenly dreading the rest of the evening. 
As the pair entered the building, a cheer went up from the Hermes and Athena table, a few of their respective siblings rushing over to give them pats on the back and congratulations for their efforts. 
Luke laughed along with them, eventually being dragged away from his sister to his own table. 
Then dinner began, and it was as loud and raucous as usual, maybe even more so coming off the back of a capture the flag victory. But Luke was unusually quiet, pushing his food around his plate and taking the odd sullen bite. He could feel Chris’ eyes on him, probably pissed off he was sulking again, but he didn’t really care. 
He could also feel another gaze on him, and he looked up, expecting it to be you, giving him a feeble glare or mouthing some stupid insult. But instead it was the girl from the Demeter table, twisting a lock of hair around her finger and smiling sweetly at him. 
The boy felt slightly disappointed, but masked it with a grin of his own, winking at the girl before returning to his food. 
He felt that strange sinking feeling in his stomach as he continued to eat, but decided to push it away. What choice did he have? It’s not like you’d ever reciprocate his feelings, so maybe Chris was right and he should give someone else a chance. Besides, how bad could it be?
*
As it turned out, it could be really bad. 
Ok, maybe that was an overstatement. Really boring was probably more accurate. 
As soon as they got to the campfire, Chris disappeared, but not before practically shoving Luke down beside the girl from Demeter, who let out a high-pitched giggle as he fell into her slightly. 
And gods he wished he hadn’t agreed to his friends stupid plan. Because he then had to spend the rest of the evening being obnoxiously flirted with. And sure, she was nice, and quite pretty, but not in the way that mattered. 
She didn’t take his breath away like you did. He couldn’t imagine searching for her face in a crowd. The whole thing was just dull. 
And her laughter was grating. Really grating. There was no way she thought he was that funny, especially when he was giving mostly one word responses. 
They had nothing in common. She liked lounging about in fields, playing games and making flower crowns, whereas Luke couldn’t think of anything worse. He’d much rather spend an afternoon sparring, or at archery, or even swimming in the lake. 
All the things you liked to do. 
He tried to push the thought to the back of his mind. He shouldn’t be thinking about you, not whilst another girl was clamouring for his attention. It was cruel. But he couldn’t help himself. 
And eventually he gave in, switching off from the conversation and settling for observing you through the flames. 
Your hair was down right now, like it only ever was at dinners and in the early morning. You lounged back comfortably on the benches, smiling lazily and joking around with Clarisse and Silena. Your face was lit up by the flickering flames, complimenting you so well, like they just wanted to be near you, close to you. He couldn’t blame them. 
And then your eyes met his across the fire, and he thought his heart was about to combust with the way you smiled at him. He recognised that smile. It was the one you reserved just for him. 
At that moment he steeled his resolve to reject this Demeter girl, grab on to you and never let go. 
But as he was about to do just that, he felt a slender hand wrap around his bicep, and he turned to the blonde girl next to him. And without any warning, she reached up and kissed him, snaking her arms up and around his neck. 
He pulled away after a second, shock written all over his face. He quickly whipped around, looking to see if you saw that, praying that you hadn’t. 
But you had. And you seemed just as shocked as he was, except there was something else in your eyes. Hurt.
Why were you hurt?
*
As you walked away from the campfire, you couldn’t help but ask yourself the same question. Why were you so hurt?
You had known for years that your pathetic crush on Luke would never amount to anything. He was just way out of your league. Perfect in every way. 
He was so smart, and kind, and funny, and well-liked, and you just couldn’t compete with that. You were rough, and mean, and cruel, and angry. Why would he love someone like you? 
 Of course, you hadn’t seen the daughter of Demeter coming. But maybe you should’ve. She was everything Luke should want in a girl, gentle, sweet, feminine. Someone fit to be a girlfriend. 
And let's face it. You were much more skilled in matters of the sword than matters of the heart. 
You had always known this day would come. Eventually you’d have to let go of your best friend and come to terms with the fact that you weren’t the most important person in his life anymore (besides Annabeth). 
So why were you so devastated?
You reasoned that it had to be the shock. Yes, it was surprising, that’s why you were reacting like this, running away from the campfire like a child, foolishly hoping that he would come running after him, when of course he wouldn’t. He’d stay with his new girlfriend. 
“Hey!” 
You whipped around, shocked to see the very boy you were just pining after running up to you. 
“What?” You asked, snapping at him slightly, and immediately regretting it as he took on the look of a kicked puppy. 
“Why’d you run away from the campfire?” 
“Just needed some air.” 
“You sure? I mean you look kinda-”
“I’m fine! Just fine! Now you can go back to your little girlfriend and leave me alone!” You burst out, waving your hands around manically. 
He looked shocked by your sudden shouting, probably because you had only genuinely been angry with him about three times in your whole friendship. 
“Sorry. Just give me a minute, ok?” You said, your voice shuddering slightly. God it was pathetic, getting so worked up over a boy? You wanted to crawl into a hole and die. You then turned around and began to walk away, but didn’t get far before a hand grabbed yours pulling you back. 
“She’s not my girlfriend.” He said firmly.
“What?”
“She’s not my girlfriend. I don’t even really know her name.” 
He then apparently realised how that sounded, because he quickly amended his statement. 
“Not like that. What I’m trying to say is that I don’t like her like that. She just kinda grabbed me.” 
You stammered slightly, trying to regain composure. Right now you looked like a jealous loser, and while that is what you were, you didn’t want him to see you like that. 
“Ok cool. I don’t care, y’know. Kiss whoever you want, man, not my problem!” You laughed although it was painfully strained. 
“Again, not what I’m trying to say.” He said, scratching the back of his neck. Nervous. 
“So what are you-”
“I’m trying to say I’m in love with you!” He rushed out, holding you by the shoulders and staring directly into your eyes to try and get his point across. 
“What?” You whispered, once again not able to believe your ears.
“I said I’m in love with you,” He repeated, slower this time, his voice more even, “I’ve been in love with you for so long, you have no idea. I was only talking to that girl ‘cause I thought I’d never have a chance with you. But then I realised that I don’t want some other girl. I only want you.” 
You took in a sharp intake of breath, scanning his face for any sign of insincerity. 
“You’re being serious?” You asked.
“Deadly serious.” He responded immediately, smiling sheepishly. 
You paused for a minute, before whispering, “I love you too.”
Only then did he finally make his move, holding you gently by the face and bending down to kiss you. 
And it was like a piece of the puzzle finally clicked into place. It was painfully cliche, and it felt like you were in some dumb rom com, but kissing him really was like fireworks going off all over your body. 
He clearly felt the same way, holding you by the back of the head and pulling you in further, closer, like he didn’t want to be apart from him ever again. 
Eventually you both pulled away for air, and he looked at you with a smile of pure joy, until the shock of the whole situation hit him. 
“Wait, so you really mean it?”
“I mean, I did just let you kiss me, didn’t I?”
“Good point. Sorry, I’m just a little surprised.”
“Fair enough. I mean, I had no idea you felt the same way.” You laughed, all the previous tension ebbing from your body. 
“What, really?” He asked, seeming genuinely surprised. 
“Yes, really! How was I supposed to know? Besides, I didn’t think I was really your type.” 
At that his eyes practically bulged out of his head in shock, more so than any other time that night.
“Not my type? You’re entirely my type! Not like it matters anyway when you're the most perfect girl I’ve ever met in my life.” 
You frowned, “Now you're just lying to me, Luke.” 
“No I’m not. You're everything I’ve ever wanted. The only girl I’ve ever wanted.” He said firmly.
You looked at him, still slightly doubtful, but he was determined to fix that. 
So he kissed you again, and suddenly all your doubts were swept away in his strong embrace as he kissed you like it was the last thing he ever wanted to do. 
“Believe me now?”
“Yeah. And, I guess you’re pretty great too.” 
He looked at you teasingly, daring you to elaborate, and for once you decided to stroke his ego. 
“Fine. You're the most handsome, funny, charming man I’ve ever met in my life.” 
That clearly satisfied him, because a wide grin wriggled its way across his face that you couldn’t help but mirror, because you both knew you meant every word.
“So does this mean you’ll give me a chance?” 
“Yes. I’d give you a hundred chances.” 
547 notes · View notes
vu1g4r · 5 months
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gush (e.w.)
a/n: i've never written anything like this. there might be a part 2... if you're into it?
pairing: ellie w. + femreader
warnings: SMUT and i mean it (mdni pls)
summary: you simply slipped into the always-empty stall in the university restroom for some alone time. you knew what you were up to and got called a nasty kinkster by the green-eyed babe who figured it was cool to use your stall.
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hand shifted down to your dampened underwear, nearly temptping a moan from you. however, the thought of someone hearing you adds a thrilling edge, you have to admit. so you covered your mouth with the second hand, muffling the noises. you were so desperate pushing two fingers at once collecting all your cum and smearing it on your thighs, barely able to stand. you slowly started to move them, sliding along the stall wall and trying to grab onto anything to keep from crashing down. but you still end up falling less awkwardly than it could've been, you make sure you wipe every surface with your clothes squeaky clean, this caused the stall bolt to pop out and release. feels too pleasurable hips moving vigorously, your pants somehow ended up around your ankles, laying atop your converses.
you hear someone outside the stall and adjust to a more discreet pace. motions are deep and sensual. at last the restroom door swings open, it takes more second than it should before it closes, but it doesn't matter you already pushed all five in letting out the most animalistic sound known to mankind. "fuuuuck," you say riding your fingers desperately, hitting it in just the right angle, grip tightens and you wish you could see yourself right now. sitting there gripping your breasts until they bruise, mouth agape longing for it to get abused too, you needed a pretty pussy on that tongue. suddenly your stall door flung open and green eyes gaze blankly at your half-bare body. "shit, sorry, i— i didn't mean to interrupt," you stare at her in shock and awkwardly stand up, all sweaty, attempting the door with your fingers still inside the pussy. you can't even reach the bolt to close it. fuck fuck fuck. she just saw you nut, nice.
"i had no idea someone was in there!" the green-eyed girl exclaims, continuing to ramble without missing a beat. why does it turn you on? "it's fine! can you just leave?"
"uh, sure, gimme a sec," you hear her grabbing some disposable towels. she passes them to you under the stall door. you check them out and then glance at your sticky hands. okay, this is weird, but whatever, just to get her outta here.
"uh thanks..." you do your best to avoid brushing her hand with yours. but, oh god, she moved her hand, reaching to meet yours just as you're about to grab the towels. "shittt" you curse as her hand freezes, her fingertips are now coated. the paper towels are still in her hand. did time just stop? you notice the beginning of her tattoo fern leaves blossoming one by one, and observe how long and pretty her fingers look, and how they could look even more so if completely soaked... bitch really needed to show off specifically this hand. you must be too pussydrunk for this.
"why the fuck did you do that?!" she exclaims, pulling her hand away as if it got burnt and hurries to the sink, furiously wiping her hands. you don't even try to say anything; it's insane. all you could do is moan. "fucking hell" she splashes water on her hands, rubbing them together, not forgetting to scream bloody murder. you anxiously exhale, waiting for her to leave because how dare she be so mad; anyone would love to be in her place if anything.
you slide your hand in and out of the pulsating mess, biting down on your lip. the girl with gorgeous hands catches wind of it and sneers, "you're such a filthy slut," she spitted out, the door slams behind her, and so does your desire against eager fingers, the ones you envisioned belonging to that green-eyed girl. you're on the edge; she labeled you a dirty slut. you only glimpsed her pale green eyes, traces of your essence on her fingers. perhaps with more effort, it might have reached her tattoo as well, but that was all you craved in that moment.
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skywlker-sluvtt · 1 year
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Anakin NSFW Alphabet <33
A/N: hiii sorry it took forever it write this one but i’ve never written spicy stuff before. i’m also a massive virgin who just reads smut so i’m sorry if this isn’t super good or is kinda all over the place.
Warnings: smut everything! (18+ pls) fem pronouns used
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˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚*˚
A= Aftercare (what they’re like after sex)
Anakin loves aftercare. He definitely needs a minute before he gets up because he just tires himself out and he’d spend that time kissing your shoulder and neck whispering how good you did. “You did so good sweetheart” “My perfect girl” After all that he most definitely gets you a damp cloth and then cleans you up. This man is all about gentle touches and kisses afterwards. If he’s left marks on your body he kisses them apologetically. If you want to shower together he loves that, his ideal aftercare is washing each other and kissing in a hot shower before bed. After that or if you’re both just too fucked out cuddling is ALWAYS necessary with him. His favourite position after doing the do is when you lay your head on his chest and curl into him, he loves that shit so much.
He’ll also appreciate it if you do the same for him especially after he’s being a subby little bitch because we all know he is. If you clean him up slowly and call him a good boy he’s going to be in love with you forever. “Good boy Ani, you did amazing baby” “I love you Y/N” (Whiney AOTC Anakin voice btw) “Aw I love you too sweetheart”
B = Body part (their favourite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)
His favourite part of you is everything. He’ll say that if you ever ask him because it's true but secretly his absolute favourites are your mouth and ass. He loves your perfect lips and how his name sounds from your voice especially when you’re fucking. Anakin loves to bite and pull on your lips while making out to make them all red and swollen because he likes how messy it makes you look. He loves your moans and how good of a kisser you are. Lastly, he obviously adores your mouth around his dick. And if you like it too he might bite a little too hard while kissing just to make you bleed and lick it up. He is also an ass or thigh lover in my opinion and he can’t get enough of your butt. He doesn’t care if it’s small (I say that because I have 0 ass 😭) but he genuinely doesn’t he just wants to slap/grab it and watch it do a lil jiggle when you move or when y’all do doggy. If you do have a big ass he’ll love to be in any position he can just watch it move.
Anakin’s favourite part of himself is his hands/arms. At first, he was a little insecure about his robotic arm but you admitted you found it sexy and he began to love it. He loves how strong his hands are and how he can just hold you down by your waist and he loves using his metal hand to choke you. He also enjoys it when you suck on his fingers and drool all over them it makes him feel things. Anakin will very much enjoy looking at his handprints across your ass when y’all are done and just think ‘yeah I did that’ with a smirk.
C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically)
Anakin’s a cumslut. For your cum and his own. His favourite thing is if you let him cum inside of you and then he’ll eat you out afterwards because he loves the taste. He’ll nut anywhere you let him honestly his favourite is on your face or ass. When he cums on your face he’ll clean you up after and make you suck it off his fingers 'cause wow. “Good girl just like that sweetheart mhm love my cum don’t you” he grins as you nod and whine for more. He likes to lick it off your face sometimes and kiss you, the feeling of his wet tongue across your face is so degrading but just does things to you.
The first time you let him finish inside of you he’s going feral. “Ani cum in me I want it in me please, please, please” “Yeah? Want my babies in this pretty little pussy darling?” His dirty mouth is insane as he does it and he feels so connected to you and in love. After you’re both recovering he’s kissing you passionately, whining into your mouth and chewing on your lips gently. “I hope I got you pregnant” “Shut up” you tease back turning away from him and grinning.
D = Dirty secret (pretty self-explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)
He wants to be caught. Fucking in semi-public areas like a storage closet or in an empty room in the temple is very common. He’ll have you pressed up against the wall legs around his waist as he fucks you against the wall. He gets to the point where he was no shame and whines and moans like a slut and you have to shut him up. “Someone will find us” You whine kissing him to be quiet. “Let them”. He imagines having one of his men walk in and relishing in the fact they know you're his. Sometimes he thinks about taking you in the middle of a mission because you just look so sexy in uniform that it makes him go crazy. The only people he would not want walking in are Obi-Wan or Ahsoka. Once Obi-Wan did walk in once when Anakin had you against a table and was traumatised for weeks. “Master I’m so sorry we r-” “Anakin don’t speak to me right now” poor Obi tbh. Anakin tries to just laugh it off but you were also mortified. Anakin lowkey didn’t mind.
E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)
You’re Anakin’s first. He’s the biggest fucking virgin ever bro. He barely knows what he’s doing and will bust immediately the first time he’s inside you because he didn’t realise how amazing you’d feel. He’s really embarrassed about it and apologises profusely. “I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean to” “Ani it’s okay really” he’ll then attempt to eat you out as an apology. He takes time to let you show him what makes you feel good. Anakin’s a fast learner so he focuses on learning how to please you which you think is sweet. Eventually, he’ll build stamina and become a kinky menace but you get to experience his nervous virgin phase.
F = Favorite position (this goes without saying)
This man loves doggy cause as I said he likes the booty action. Anything from behind is his shit. He’s all about smacking your ass and talking dirty to you while you’re screaming his name 'cause we know Anakin’s like huge. While you’re doing the do he’s got his fingers digging into your hips pulling you in and out over and over. If you’re into it Anakin will grab you by the throat and pull you into his chest to fuck you better from behind and whisper dirty shit in your ear while basically supporting your body weight just so he can take you from behind like this.
Anakin also adores cowgirl. He likes feeling your ass up and watching your boobs bounce right in front of his face. Loves that he can touch every inch of your body and feel you up while you ride him. If you’re getting tired he’ll bounce you himself just so he can keep watching your pretty face and tits. When you grab his shoulders and dig your nails into them he moans really loud and will look at the scratches you left after with a smile because he likes feeling like he’s yours and that you’ve marked him up.
G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)
A little more on the humorous side it just depends on the context. He likes to tease you though especially at the start he’s lowkey making fun of you just to be a dick. “You’re so wet baby and I haven’t even done anything yet. Aren’t you embarrassed you get this wet from just my voice?” he wants you to get embarrassed cause he likes seeing you squirm and go red. Sometimes if y’all are making really weird noises Anakin giggles a little and it makes you giggle too. Especially when you guys are first getting intimate it puts him at ease when the two of you laugh a little and it makes him feel more comfortable. Sex with Anakin is fun and loving he doesn’t really want to make it a super serious shut-up and fuck moment.
H = Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)
I think Anakin’s relatively groomed for a guy. He’ll trim if he can be fucked but I think he’d definitely make an effort for you. Even if you say you don’t care he doesn’t want to make you suck on his hairy ass balls so he’s gonna try to shave them. When he was a teenager he tried to shave his balls with the same razor he shaved his face with (but like if we’re being real Anakin ain’t growing any facial hair 😭) and then cut his balls and forced himself to tell Obi-Wan. I don’t know why I can imagine that so clearly and Obi-Wan was like dude please just leave me alone.
ANYWAYS OFF TOPIC! He would def love the feeling of his shaved balls in your mouth but he’s mainly just clean and trimmed cause he’s a gentleman and that’s the only type of body hair that man can grow. And yes the curtains match the drapes he’s got those brunette pubes. I hate that word.
I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)
He’s so sweet all the time. Especially when y’all are making love he’s just the sweetest man ever. Anakin’s always asking if you’re okay and if it feels good for you. He’s all about praising you and you praising him he likes it both ways. “God, baby you feel so tight love you so much” “How’s that, my love? Feel good?” and he’s gonna be smiling if you say some shit back “F-Feels amazing Ani. You’re so perfect” Anakin eats that shit up and he’s just really soft with you running his hands down every curve of your body kissing you wherever his mouth can reach. He also whimpers during soft sex cause he loves it so much. He’ll have his head right next to your ear panting and whimpering while sucking on your earlobe because he’s different like that. The constant ‘I love yous’ are also amazing he just wants you to know it. “I love you Y/N, just a little deeper you can take it deeper sweetheart” like omfg Anakin chill 🫢
J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon)
Fuck jacking off. Anakin wants THE REAL THING! He doesn’t give a fuck about his hand unless you're watching him do it because he’s all for mutual masturbation. When you’ve got him sitting up against the headboard playing with himself he’s begging for it. “P-Please baby you’re better than I am. Just your mouth please I p-promise I’ll be s’good” “Not yet Ani you have to earn it. Now keep going show me what you like” as if you don’t already know and he’s just frustrated and on the verge of tears because you make him feel way better than he does.
K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)
Mommy kink. Duh, Anakin has the most mommy issues ever and wants you to take care of him and praise him while he calls you mommy. He also adores praise. It slips out one day because he’s been biting his tongue over it for weeks when he found out he wanted to call you that. He doesn’t want you to think he’s weird but it just slips out when you’re riding him and he immediately starts apologising and creating excuses but you calm him down enough to talk about it a little before continuing. If you're not into it he’s cool with it but is definitely embarrassed for a while. BUT IF YOU AREEEEEE Anakin’s down for calling you it whenever he’s feeling subby. He’s gonna be whining the name repetitively while you’re teasing him. “Please mommy you m-make me feel so good need your pussy so bad mommy please” “Patience pretty. Only good boys get mommy's pussy right?” he’s just a little fucking baby ass bitch that wants to suck titties and he called a good boy.
Dacryphilia. He loves watching you cry from pleasure. Anakin’s definitely not as weird as to get horny when you’re genuinely upset it’s only really when he’s been fucking you for hours and you’re so overstimulated you’re in tears. Or if you’re giving him head and you gag so hard it makes a few tears spill. “You’ve got a few more in you sweetheart right?” “Anakin please too much it feels too good-ah!” Seeing your eyes get glassy and pool with water he’s getting even harder as they trickle down your cheeks. He likes liking them away and tasting the saltiness on his tongue before kissing your face. “Aw I know pretty you’re doing so well I promise you it’s gonna feel so good” Anakin’s a weirdo :)
Body worship. Yummy. Anakin loving your body is an understatement. He’s infatuated by it, obsessed and has a deep admiration for your body. He admires the vessel your wonderful soul is carried by and thinks it’s as perfect as your mind. Anytime you’re naked or not it doesn’t really matter he’s rubbing your hips and kissing your shoulder telling you how gorgeous you are. Once he gets the opportunity in the bedroom he will kiss every inch of your body learning and memorising each freckle and scar whispering sweet things against your skin “I wish you could always be naked so I could see this divine body of yours constantly” Yes he would say weird shit like that that barely makes sense but it makes you blush cause he’s just trying to come up with a unique compliment. He sucks and licks until he’s done and then makes you come a dozen times with his fingers and mouth before pleasuring himself because you deserve the entire world.
L = Location (favourite places to do the do)
Somewhere semi-outdoors like your balcony. He’d find it romantic to have sex under the moonlight and feels like it connects your love to the galaxy or something. Or he’d wanna do it on a blanket in a private meadow just for fun. He only wants to eat you out not go the whole way. You’re telling him you’ll get caught and he’s just begging. “Love no one’s even out here! I’ll be so fast and I promise it’ll feel good pleaseeee” then you cave and he’s so excited because of his whole secretly wanting to get caught thing.
M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)
Anything. He’s really horny all the time. You’re walking around in your robes fully covered head to toe and he’s like damn that ass is looking hella smackable even if he can’t see it. If you're in the mood he’s in the mood nothing is really gonna stop his boner. He gets really turned on when you’re in a position of authority though. If you’re a Jedi and leading a group of people standing proud and speaking firmly, and intelligently Anakin is drooling. He finds intelligence attractive and hearing you speak and be so smart and tough seeming makes him feel things because he lowkey wants you to speak to him like that and degrade him. Or when you’re in uniform he’s losing his shit. Like if you were wearing Mandalorian armour (cause mando armour is hot fr) he desperately wants to fuck you in it.
N = No (something they wouldn’t do, turn-offs)
He doesn’t like the idea of doing something that will mark you really badly. Don’t get me wrong Anakin loves leaving hickeys and light bite marks on you, light spanking is okay too but he will never go as far as to bruise your body for anything. If he’s being too rough and chokes you too hard leaving bruising he feels so guilty like he’s actually hurt you. His biggest fear is going too far by accident. He always makes sure to check how you’re feeling and make sure you’re okay with everything he does.
O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)
GIVER. ANAKIN LOVES EATING PUSSY. I think we all know that and it’s just canon at this point but he adores it. At first, his lil virgin brain doesn’t really know how to make you feel good and he just kinda sucked on your labia and you were like 😶 cause you didn’t wanna make him feel bad and he kinda sensed it he was like what am I doing wrong? So then you taught him and he was a fast learner. He used any excuse to practice because he loved it and the first time he made you cum with his tongue he was proud and then nutted cause yeah.
He quickly became a pussy eating god is my point. Anakin’s good at everything but he absolutely excels in oral. He loves how you pull on his hair and smother him in your pussy. He’d love to die between your thighs and claims it would be the perfect way to go out. Anakin also LOVES having you sit on his face so he can just lick and suck you all over and treat you like his princess. He also likes it if you get a bit aggressive and hump his dumb little face to get off and he’s good with you just using him because he likes being suffocated cause he’s a slut for you tbh.
Not to say he doesn’t love receiving because your mouth is his favourite thing in the world. The first time you gave him head he busted really fast because little virgin boy but now he’s fine. He prefers to finish from actual fucking but will not turn down the opportunity for you to be on your knees pleasuring him and looking like a mess. When you’ve got drool down your chin and all over his cock he’s groaning and trying not to cum too fast.
P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)
Anything you want. He just listens to what you say it your begging for faster he’s gonna go faster. Although he enjoys some slow sex occasionally because making love is an important ritual for him and keeps him grounded to you and he likes the way it feels to whisper sweet loving things to each other. “Stars, I love you Y/N, you’re so pretty. You’re beauty’s intoxicating I-I wish I could just show you off all the time, so fucking perfect” you return the compliments because Anakin is a beautiful angel who deserves to be treated like one. Honestly, pace is just whatever y’all are in the mood for.
Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)
Anakin+Quickies= YUMMMM. He loves them because it’s often all the two of you have on long missions. Though he doesn’t prefer them he still fancies them. He takes quickies seriously he’s making sure you finish first before he does, making sure you’re comfortable and not gonna whack your head on a shelf in a storage closet. He likes it when you’re really needy for one and pulling him into a room just to fuck him. “C’mon Anakin!” “Geez Y/N it’s only been a week” He’s teasing to get under your skin. ��A week too bloody long” You reply pushing him up against the door to kiss him hard and pull his pants down and palm him. “Fuck baby c’mere” He’s gonna pick you up and put you up against the door and fuck you against it. Keeping your legs tight around his waist and bite his shoulder to stop moaning. “Maker your such a slut Y/N stop being quiet and let them all hear those beautiful moans” “S-Shut up, hurry” “Close?” “So Close Ani.” When you’re finished he attempts to clean you up with whatever is available and promises to give you lots of cuddles at home. After he just wants to be close to you but can’t so he’s a little annoyed until he can just wrap you in his arms and make love to you.
R = Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.)
Ya bois freaky as fuck. He’s hesitant at first but he definitely has things he’d like to try with you and doesn’t know how to bring them up. If you guys ever have a conversation about trying new things he’ll hesitantly suggest tying you up or something but he’s really anxious about it. “B-But only if you like the idea of course. I promise I’m not trying to be weird I just thought maybe it could be fun. It’s stupid” “No Ani yes! I’m so down” Anakin gets more confident as you go along. He will do risky stuff with you. Like using the force to choke you or restrain you, he gets nervous that he’ll go too far and hurt you but you both take precautions and it makes him happy you trust him so much. But yeah he’s a little disgusting freak and wants to do gross things to you but he’s pretty so it’s fine.
S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)
His stamina is amazing once he gets used to having sex. He can last for a pretty long time, he likes to drag it out and make you cum a few times before him. Anakin won’t take forever to the point it gets repetitive but he mixes it up to keep you both horny. Putting you in different positions or using his hands more often. He can go a few rounds but he gets really tired by the end of it all. If he can’t go anymore but you’re still a lil horny he’s 100% gonna start using his mouth or using the force to make it interesting.
T = Toys (do they own toys or use them on a partner or themselves?)
Of coursseeeeee. You have to introduce him though. Maybe just starting out with a vibrator of yours and then he starts getting more comfortable with the idea when you mention that it can be for both of you. Anakin’s a little intimated by it at first and might feel like you like the toys more than him but he quickly realises you just want to enhance the pleasure for both of you. You two will eventually have a collection going on under the bed of dildos, cuffs and cock rings because trying new things with Anakin is exciting.
U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)
Lotsssss of teasing. Watching you squirm and having your pussy get all wet and needy over his constant touches and denial. “Oh darling you’re so impatient, it’ll feel so much better this way” he’s adamant about denying you an orgasm and will edge you to no end. He’ll use his hands, mouth, dick and toys before he finally lets you cum and it did feel extraordinarily good when he finally let you cum. You get payback though so it’s fair. Anakin adores using a cock ring or something for pleasure and likes it when you overpower him and tease the fuck out of his cock as revenge.
V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)
Anakin whimpers. He’s hesitant about his noises at first and bites a pillow or your shoulder to keep them away but just his heavy breathing puts you over the edge. You encourage him to be noisy because it’s delicious. “I want you to be loud Ani…I like it” he’s lowkey shocked because he thinks being a guy and making noise is embarrassing after you tell them though he starts being a little louder. Not really loud grunts but little moans and whimpers cause that’s just how he is. Unless he’s tryna be super dominant and he’s groaning while he fucks you. To say the least his noises are very attractive and not annoying.
W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character)
Anakin would enjoy pegging. Once he found out about it he couldn’t stop thinking about how hot it would be to have you peg him. He’s never gonna tell you that unless you mentioned something about it because he thinks it's too far but be for real because it would be so fun to peg him. Anakin’s a little anxious at first but once yall do some anal stuff he feels better about it. Though it wouldn’t be a super regular thing for the two of you on the occasion you put a strap on he loves it. He’s gonna suck it and beg for your fake dick because he loves having his pretty girl peg him
X = X-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)
Above average. Anakin just screams big dick energy and has at least 8-8.5 inches under those robes and bro knows how to use it to your advantage. I don’t really know how to describe a dick so honestly let's just leave it at big dick Ani :)))
Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)
Pretty high. He can definitely go at least once a day. Having a high midi-chlorian level probably gave him that extra high libido. I honestly don’t even have much to say about this other than have you take his virginity he’s always gonna be down for lots of smex.
Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)
He’s sleepy asf after but he likes to let you rest first. He keeps himself awake by gently stroking your back or pressing occasional kisses against your forehead to make sure you’re asleep first. Anakin’s the sweetest and if you can’t sleep he makes it his job to put you to sleep and cuddle you close to make sure you’re going to rest and wake up happy. As soon as you’re out though so is he. I think he’s pretty quick to go to sleep and sleeps anywhere so he’s not too worried about waiting up for you. :))
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tboygareth · 1 year
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59.  “I’ve spent the last five minutes trying to figure out what game you’re playing.” requested by @strangersteddierthings from this post thank you for the request!! i hope you like it!
Steve's been flirting with Eddie for weeks. Weeks. Eddie's not an idiot, he sees it for what it is. It's just... it doesn't make any fucking sense. Steve could be bi, sure, but even if he is. Eddie? Of all people?
Eddie, who'd gone and acted cute in that little hell dimension, Upside Down, whatever, even though he'd been under strict instructions to not do exactly that? Eddie, who'd very nearly fucking died and shit his pants all in one go? Eddie, who'd muttered some of the most insane, out of control shit when Steve carried him out of the Upside Down because he genuinely thought he was a goner? That Eddie? That's who Steve's been flirting with for weeks?
Maybe Steve's been conked in the noggin one too many times. He's not thinking clearly.
It's one of those nights where it's just the two of them. It's been happening more often, these past few weeks; Steve'll invite Eddie over under the guise of having a few beers, and he'll turn on a movie and they'll just shoot the shit for hours. And the whole damn time, Steve'll flirt.
Just like he's doing now, one arm slung across the back of the couch behind Eddie, sitting so close Eddie can feel his body heat. Steve's been full of it tonight, the teasing and the innuendos and the compliments. And Eddie's into it, giving back as good as he gets - touching Steve and calling him sweetheart and pushing back.
But Steve still won't make a move, a real one. There's no way Steve can't feel the tension mounting between them. It's been building for weeks. It's been building all night. They've been sharing these looks, lingering things where they capture one another's gazes and hold, until Steve glances down at Eddie's lips and Eddie has to look away.
It's driving Eddie nuts, the will he or won't he of it all. And the fact that he hasn't makes Eddie wonder if he's just fucking with him. It'd be so like the guy Eddie always thought Steve was, to play a joke like this on someone like him.
"Y'know, I've spent the last five minutes - nay, the last five weeks - trying to figure out what game you're playing here."
"Game?" Steve asks, his eyebrows pinched and confused.
"Yeah, like. The flirting? You messin' with me?"
"You think this is a game?"
"Yeah. What else could it be?"
Steve scoffs and scoots away, his arm falling away from the back of the couch to rest at his side.
"You really think I'd do that? Mess with you like that?" Steve sounds offended. A little hurt. "What happened to me being not a douche?"
"Whoa, man, I'm just sayin', alright? It's weird, is all," Eddie says, defensive. "'Cause... y'know... I never thought you could be into someone like me."
"Yeah? Well, it turns out I can. I thought you might be into me, too. It's why I've been inviting you over more."
"Sooo," Eddie says with a smile. "Is this a date, then? You been puttin' the moves on me for real?"
"This is hardly a date, Munson, but yes. The moves are very real."
Eddie's pulse kicks up and he feels warm, a little nervous. He brings a lock of hair in front of his mouth to cover a dopey smile. Steve's still looking at him, scooting closer again and putting his arm back up where it was before. They're sitting right up against each other now, their thighs and knees knocking together. Eddie puts a hand on Steve's leg.
"Alright, then. Carry on."
"A game," Steve mutters, shaking his head and clicking his tongue. "Sometimes I wonder why I like you."
"Too late now, big boy. You already said it. You like me, and I'm never gonna let you forget it."
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atthebell · 5 months
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Why are the qsmp family allegations on twt such a bad thing? /genq I'm genuinely curious, I'm not a fan of people found family claiming everything these days, but I was wondering about your reasons for this specifically! Feel free to ignore this ask if you want o/ cheers!
i think there's a few big issues i and many other people have with this:
usually it's based on nothing, or on nonsense jokes. like cellbit clearly jokingly calling phil dad. that's not basis for anything. putting that dynamic on the wiki after one joke is fucking insane, and i think the fandom wiki editors are actually nuts for that and all the other stupid shit they pull like this.
it's used to avoid shipping people pretty often, which frankly is ridiculous in the first place and is also often an issue of dumbass misogyny/cooties bullshit. you can maintain a creator's shipping boundaries (if they even have them, which, sometimes they don't even!) without having to family code them with every other character. phil does not need to be techno's dad for you to not ship them. and on the cooties/misogyny angle, it's used CONSTANTLY to avoid shipping women with men. like, firstly, people's insistence against shipping female characters with men serves to continuously sideline them in fan content. 90% of the time the most popular ships are m/m and women in canonical relationships with popular male characters get treated like garbage for "being in the way." secondly, it's cooties shit, like i said. women and men can be friends and don't have to be related for you not to ship them. just don't ship them if you don't want to. this goes for any set of characters. if you don't want to ship phil and cellbit, just don't do it. and don't get pissy with other people when they do want to do that.
for phil in particular: it serves to infantilize characters who are grown adults and pushes phil into a constant parental position with people. like, phil is very dad, he's just like that, he's very responsible and good with people, but he's not EVERYONE ON THE PLANET'S DAD and acting like it's his responsibility to care for everyone he interacts with sucks. case in point, the way people treated him during dsmp when fans would not let go of family sbi dynamics, even when he said that tommy wasn't his kid and was not his responsibility. phil does not owe any other character anything, and that expectation is a sore spot for many people, especially phil mains. and the agency it takes away from the characters that people child-code is annoying and shitty.
people make it super nuclear and weird when that's almost directly opposed to the notion of chosen family in real life
basically i think it's a really weird practice that people have fallen into that often feels regressive and annoying and removes character agency and independence. like, i enjoy family dynamics when they're actually relevant and when they don't ruin character's individual personalities, but the automatic reaching for that when it's not true and the insistence that family dynamics are somehow morally better than shipping is obviously very stupid and very much fandom purity culture.
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valeskafics · 1 year
Text
Party in Your Bedroom (Chapter One) - Game of Thrones/House of the Dragon Cross Over x Cam Girl!Reader
Summary: After putting on a very successful show, you go out to dinner with your friends.
PAIRINGS: Aegon x Reader, Aemond x Reader, Jace x Reader, Theon x Reader, Robb x Reader, Jon x Reader, Daemon x Reader, Rhaenyra x Reader, Alicent x Reader, Margaery x Reader x Tommen, Bran x Reader x Jojen, Jaime x Reader, Baela x Reader, Helaena x Reader, Cersei x Reader, Ned x Reader, Catelyn x Reader, Harwin x Reader, Robin x Reader
Word Count: 2,561
TW: profanity, innuendo, I don't think camming should be a tw but I guess??? Luke being a little shit!!!, masturbation
Disclaimer: I do not own any of the Game of Thrones/A Song of Ice and Fire characters nor do I claim to own them.
Tag List (comment if you wish to be added/removed) bold means it did not allow me to tag you: @ticci-isaack @sirlovel @softlyshifting @angstycatthatlikestea @zephyrinethedruid @its-halleys-comet @wonder-harley @polireader @dothrckis @flavorofsalt @jessica295 @tired-ninfa @bitchyglitterfox @ietss @tinykryptonitewerewolf @mynameisbaby9 @cecespizza01 @svftsunflower @whorefordrew @babyblue-chaos @versaillesdrmngs @verra-nerevarine @scratchietella @the-first-man-is-a-cat @myspotofcraziness @clara02 @jamespotterismydaddy
Okay, you make a mental note to yourself, daddy kink and mommy kink are the two main requests today.
Elsewhere, user Penis69_420 receives a private message from one of the moderators for your stream.
MODERATOR_HS (Harwin Strong): Hello! To keep the chat a safe place for everyone involved, sometimes we require random identity authentication. Your account has been randomly selected. Please provide a government ID proving you are over 18 years of age.
Luke panics, wondering what to do. Luckily, he has a copy of Daemon’s ID…
When Harwin sees who the user is, he raises an eyebrow. He never thought it would be Daemon Targaryen typing out “can we see your boobs :D”, but, apparently, Daemon types like a horny child. He really did not see this on his 2022 bingo card. He decides to just tell Dany that the ID checks out and not traumatize her by letting her know her uncle types the way he does.
Luke decides to stay quiet for the rest of the stream. Well, he doesn’t even get to watch the stream. Nyra yells at him that he needs to take the younger kids to the park for an hour.
Such bullshit.
You pull out one of the gifts one of your subscribers sent you and show it to everyone, smiling, “So, this sub did actually ask me to call them out by name, but @Sluttyrichboi sent me this dildo mold,” you smirk to yourself a little bit, “So, today, I’m gonna be using this in today’s stream.
Aegon thinks he’s about to bust a nut right then and there.
Sluttyrichboi (Aegon Targaryen): I hope you enjoy it ;)
You move to get in your usual position, showing your body off to the camera but hiding the majority of your face. You take the dildo out of its packaging and put it in view of the camera before teasing yourself with it over your panties.
You let out a quiet little moan, “Mommy, can I please touch myself? Baby wants to play, please, Mommy?”
And if the chat was going crazy before, they’re going insane now. You grin to yourself, you really now how to work your audience.
Daemon, Rhaenyra, and Alicent are of course watching together. They smirk at each other and Rhaenyra starts typing.
Queenofpegging (Rhaenyra Targaryen): yes, baby, make yourself feel good for Mommy
Defaultuser123 (Alicent Hightower): USER HAS TIPPED $200
You move your panties down to your knees and brush the tip of the dildo against your pussy, letting out a loud squeal.
“Daddy, you’re too big, I don’t think it’s gonna fit!”
Aegon grins to himself. Goddamn, you know how to tell him what he wants to hear.
Sluttyrichboi (Aegon Targaryen): just put the tip in for daddy, baby?
Sluttyrichboi (Aegon Targaryen): USER HAS TIPPED $250
Dayoungwolf (Robb Stark): Man, I didn’t even have a daddy kink before today…
Dayoungwolf (Robb Stark): USER HAS TIPPED $200
You move it in slightly, moaning breathily. You move it in even more, letting the sound that your wet pussy makes as you slide it in and out of you play into your speakers for all the viewers.
“It’s too big,” you whine slightly, “Mommy, please help me?”
Branjoboyz (Bran and Jojen): pleeeease take your top off, we’re literally begging you here, babe
You laugh slightly, “Maybe next stream.”
You continue fucking yourself with the dildo, letting out the lewdest moans and squeals you ever have in your life. As you feel yourself getting closer to your peak, you move start jerking the dildo upward so it hits your clit and let out a strangled moan, “Oh, fuck, fuck, I think I’m almost there.”
You move your neck slightly, which ends up showing off the choker that Luvisblind had sent you.
Aemond bites his lip, loving the way he is technically there with you. That when you put on that choker, you had to have thought of him, even as an anonymous face, even for a moment.
“Mommy, this feels so good,” you mumble, “Wish you were here to help me, Mommy. Wish I could lay my head down on your chest and it was your strap fucking me…”
Defaultuser123 (Alicent Hightower): USER HAS TIPPED $600
As you feel yourself getting closer to your peak, you move the dildo faster and faster, letting it hit your g spot each time, nearly making you scream, “Oh, fuck, fuck, I think I’m almost there, Daddy.”
Dayoungwolf (Robb Stark): Come for us, love, you always sound so pretty when you do.
Dayoungwolf (Robb Stark): USER HAS TIPPED $200
Disfordaddy (Daemon Targaryen): USER HAS TIPPED $350
You lay there for a moment, completely fucked out. When you pull the dildo out, you realize you squirted all over it, and of course, the chat is going insane.
Dayoungwolf (Robb Stark): USER HAS TIPPED $500
Disfordaddy (Daemon Targaryen): USER HAS TIPPED $500
Disfordaddy (Daemon Targaryen): so fucking sexy, baby, thank you for the show
Luvisblind (Aemond Targaryen): USER HAS TIPPED $600
Sluttyrichboi (Aegon Targaryen): USER HAS TIPPED $600
Sluttyrichboi (Aegon Targaryen): that was my technically my dick I’m actually dead she just squirted from a dildo mold of my dick adlgafkagljdg
Branjoboyz (Bran and Jojen): USER HAS TIPPED $100
Mistahjhasabigd (Jace Velaryon): USER HAS TIPPED $600
Mistahjhasabigd (Jace Velaryon): sorry I didn’t comment much… I was just in shock… Holy crap :O I’ve only seen girls squirt in porn before…
Dayoungwolf (Robb Stark): Think that says more about you than about them, mate
Baby_b (Baela Targaryen): LMAOOOOOO kill em
Baby_b (Baela Targaryen): USER HAS TIPPED $150
Spiderwoman (Helaena Targaryen): USER HAS TIPPED $200
Theresakrakeninmypants (Theon Greyjoy): did she just squirt or am I dreaming
Theresakrakeninmypants (Theon Greyjoy): USER HAS TIPPED $70
Theresakrakeninmypants (Theon Greyjoy): IM SORRY IM POOR
You laugh breathlessly, “Please don’t apologize.”
Branjoboyz (Bran and Jojen): She’s so fucking nice omg
You pull the dildo out, pouting as you show it to the camera, “I think I made a little bit of a mess! What should I do now?” 
Desperatehousewivesirl (Cersei Lannister): why don’t you use that pretty little mouth to clean it off for Mommy ;)
Desperatehousewivesirl (Cersei Lannister): USER HAS TIPPED $250
You giggle and nod, “Okay, Mommy, I’ll use my mouth.”
You do as she said and start licking it clean, smirking to yourself.
Luvisblind (Aemond Targaryen): You look so gorgeous with something in your mouth…
Luvisblind: (Aemond Targaryen): USER HAS TIPPED $500
Desperatehousewivesirl (Cersei Lannister): The fact that this made me orgasm harder than my ex husband ever did…
Desperatehousewivesirl (Cersei Lannister): USER HAS TIPPED $500
Theresakrakeninmypants (Theon Greyjoy): NAH WHY IS THAT THE FUNNIEST THING I’VE READ ALL DAY
Sluttyrichboi (Aegon Targaryen): Fr tho omg
After you’re done, you give your viewers a little smile, “Well, I’m hoping to go out with some friends tonight, but hopefully I’ll do another stream on tomorrow, maybe around noon.”
Sluttyrichboi (Aegon Targaryen): Noooooo don’t go we’re your friends :(
Mistahjhasabigd (Jace Velaryon): Lol this guy… Have fun with ur friends :D
And you sign off.
“Dude, you made bank today,” Dany tells you, walking into your room, “Like, holy shit. We need to do more mommy and daddy kink. That shit had them going crazy!”
“Let’s all go out to dinner,” you suggest, “I’ll send a message in the group chat.”
She nods, “Okay! I’m most definitely in! Khal, Missandei, and Daario are working but they said next time for sure.”
“Does it ever get tough,” you ask her curiously, “The whole poly thing? Like, balancing it out? Who you’re with? Like, you don’t all get jealous of each other?”
She shakes her head, smiling at you and explaining, “Nah, it’s built on love, mutual trust, and respect. It works pretty well for us!”
You smile back at her, “That’s good. I’m glad you’ve found something that works for you, Dany. You have so much love to give, it makes sense that you share it with more than one person.”
“Oh, Y/N, you’re so cute,” she squeals, hugging you, “Okay, I’m gonna go get ready.”
You pull out your phone and start texting your group chat.
Y/N: Hey guys!! I made a bunch on tips at work today, let’s go to that fancy new restaurant by Jace’s place!! The pretty one! :)
Theon Greyjoy: Can’t afford it, sry byeeeee.
Y/N: Dinner’s on ME, dummy. That’s why I mentioned the tips!!
Margaery Tyrell: Y/N, sweetheart, there are a LOTof people in this chat… You can’t possibly want to pay for all of us!
Y/N: I know!!! It’s just I really wanna take everyone out tonight, pleeeeeeease? I have midterms next week and am picking up an extra shift tomorrow and Sunday, so I can only hang out tonight :((
Theon Greyjoy: Hell yeah, I’m in for sure :) Can I get some takeaway for my lunch tomorrow??
Margaery Tyrell: You are such a pig omg. But yes, Tommen and I are in, Y/N!!
Aegon Targaryen: I’m down lmao but you really don’t need to pay for me… Isn’t your rent almost due? They charge you and Dany a lot for fucking Flea Bottom…
Y/N: Already paid, bestie! Now let me treat you guysssssss, PLSSSSSSSSS
Aemond Targaryen: I’m free. But you’re not paying for me.
Robb Stark: Yeah, same.
Y/N: Ugh you guys are boring!!! But yay, I’m glad you’re coming!!
Theon Greyjoy: That’s what she said!
Aegon Targaryen: LMAOOOO bruhhh
Jace Velaryon: I’m down, we were already gonna hang out anyway, right? :D But I also think ur a drug dealer.
Y/N: …What?
Jace Velaryon: Yeah!! How else do you make so much money that you’re paying for that many people?? Hmmm????? o_O
Helaena Targaryen: Don’t be stupid, Jace, Y/N wouldn’t deal drugs!
Baela Targaryen: Fucking moron. Hel and I are in, though, Y/N, thank you for treating us :)
Margaery Tyrell: If you ARE a drug dealer, I’m very offended I’m not getting free drugs
Aegon: Fr
Y/N: You guys are nutsssss. Jon, that only leaves you??
Jon Snow: I can’t make it till a little later, I’m at work. If you go after 7, I can do it.
Y/N: Let’s make it 8 :)
Jon Snow: Sweet, I’ll see you all tonight!
Theon Greyjoy: WE EATING GOOD TONIGHT BITCHES!!!!!!! THANK YOU SUGAR MAMA Y/N
“Everyone’s in,” you call out to Dany and start getting ready yourself.
———
You dress up in a cute white sundress and walk into the restaurant with Dany. Your friends are already there so they all come over to greet the two of you.
“Y/N, how can you afford this place?” Jace gapes, “I mean, the appetizers are like $20?”
“She makes a lot in tips,” Dany cuts him off, “Just go with it!”
You nod at her thankfully. She winks at you and runs off to ask Helaena about something.
You have to give the hostess a pretty big tip to get a table for all of you during rush hour, so she just takes you all to the room saved for special events. It’s a Thai restaurant, so it’s super ornately decorated and very pretty. Everyone is looking around awestruck.
“Y/N pulled a Tobey Maguire and gave the hostess money to find us some shade,” Tommen chuckles to himself.
You laugh, “Shut up!”
“Are Bran and Jojen not coming?” Tommen asks you, “I saw them in class earlier-”
“Robb and Jon don’t let me invite Bran when they’re coming out,” you roll your eyes, “They’re mean!”
“Cuz he’s a total weirdo, Y/N,” Jon insists, “I don’t get how you’re friends with him. You’re so normal. He and Jojen literally watch porn together like it’s a fucking TV show! Like they’re watching The Bachelor! They’re so fucking unhinged-”
“Don’t use the ‘p’ word in front of Y/N, Jon,” Aegon snickers, coming up behind you and covering your ears, annoying you, “Virgin Mary’s too innocent to hear that!”
“Yeah,” Theon says, sidling up to you, poking your side, making you squirm away from him and into Aegon as they move to sit down with you between them, “She’s our good little girl, remember?”
“Don’t pick on her,” Baela glares at both of the boys, looking at you, her eyes gentle now, “Y/N, honey, you don’t have to sit by them. They’re being assholes.”
Robb speaks up, “Come sit between me and Aemond, love.”
You shrug yourself out from Aegon’s arm, missing the way he frowns and stares after you.
Aemond, always the gentleman, pulls out your chair for you and you sit down happily, Robb on your right and Aemond on your left. Margaery is opposite you, Tommen beside her opposite Robb and Helaena opposite Aemond.
You start looking at the menu and Robb points out a few things he’s heard are good.
“That’ll make her feel sick,” Aemond shakes his head, “It’s too spicy.”
You frown. It’s so not too spicy. Margaery sees the annoyed look you’re giving him. She knows you’re getting sick of being coddled by them, that you want all of them to see you as a fully actualized young woman. She smiles at you.
“Y/N, why don’t you order that and get an extra entree for you and I to split in case you don’t like it?”
You nod eagerly, “Good idea! So, anyone doing anything interesting this weekend? I heard that they have some lecture tomorrow around noon at the museum? I’m working, so I can’t go, but maybe one of you guys want to.”
“Hopefully I’ll do another stream on tomorrow, maybe around noon.”
“Ah, you know,” Aegon shakes his head, “I’ve got a thing.”
“Me too,” Theon nods, “Work thing, always grinding.”
Everyone other than Dany comes up with similar excuses. You shrug and smile at the waiter when he comes to take your order.
“Gendry,” you grin, “I didn’t know you work here!”
“I just got the job!” he smiles at all of you, “Hey, guys!”
Everyone greets him happily and he writes down your order, pausing when you order the spicy thing.
“That’s really spicy, Y/N-”
“I know it is,” you roll your eyes.
“Someone’s being a brat,” Aemond mumbles.
You ignore him and turn to talk to Robb.
“So, you talked with your parents yet?” Robb asks you quietly, “I know when you left, you were on bad terms, but hopefully now it’s better?”
You shake your head, “I’m still not talking to them. They think I can’t make it on my own, I’ll show them.”
He grins at you, “Hey, I’m proud of you.”
“Yeah, Y/N,” Baela adds from his other side, smiling, “What you’re doing is really brave. You’re kind of a badass.”
“Thanks, B,” you blush.
“But, seriously, where can I make those kind of tips, Y/N?” Theon asks, “No one tips me at my job!”
“…You work in the stockroom, Theon. You don’t get tips because they keep you back there so no one sees your ugly mug.” Aemond replies dryly, making everyone laugh.
Dany glances at you and the two of you share a secretive smile.
You’re not ashamed of your work, but you don’t see any reason for your friends to know.
It’s your thing, one thing that’s just for you. And you want to keep it that way.
At least for now.
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theflagscene · 2 months
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Wait! How!? When!? Where!? How is White suddenly there!? How did Tee meet White!? You can’t just play upbeat music and have the boys running around to show the passage of time and not explain how the fucking villain of the story got the most adorably innocent lil princess boyfriend on the planet!
Phee, bringing Jin on a date to the same place you and Non liked to go is just weird. I hate people who use the same ‘date’ spots for their new partners that they used with their past partners and no, this isn’t me projecting, why do you ask!? Lmao 😂 shut up it’s still tacky af
‘Friend’ the dreaded word.
What is with the ass slapping and window sex!? I mean, I get that they’re supposed to 18 year old boys, who are by definition perverted, but that was some porn level shit. Also, again, no prep. Phee wasn’t even the one blown so it’s not like they were even using spit for lube, or an already lubed condom. What is this, another ABO show? Just having the dudes slick and sliding all over one another apparently.
Ta’s got a decent ass at least, good for him.
“Did you cheat on my brother?” Nah, pretty sure they broke up when Phee saw him being raw dogged by the teacher and then told him to go die, but whatever helps you sleep at night Tan.
“Don’t fall in love with him.” Yeah, I think it’s too late for that.
Oh, mom is not looking so great. Hmm, something tells me that video isn’t real. Mom knows what’s up, it’s finally hit her, her baby’s dead. The actress did a fantastic job of a mother realizing the truth of the death of her child, it’s a startling realization that does take your legs out from under you. Your mind blanks, you can’t think about anything but the last time you saw them, the last terrible thing you said, all you can do is try not to scream. - That got a little too dark and real, sorry.
news.boc.com Cute BoC, very cute.
How long were Phee and Jin supposed to have been fucking by now? Weeks? Months? Because Jin has gotten very emotionally invested very quickly, which is appropriate for teenagers I suppose.
Two years, so they’d be in their what, second year of uni? Tan has gone full mad scientist I see.
Wait, he called to tell Tan that his mom was dead and it was her funeral that day and he just showed tf up! When his dad thought he was still in England!? Lmao, that’s fricking hilarious. I know, I know, wrong reaction to this scene but I’m weird, what can I say.
Oops, bye bye daddy. No wonder Tan is so fucking nuts! That would drive anyone insane. He literally needs Non to be alive otherwise he’s lost everything for nothing.
Is Tan his own guinea pig for his drugs!? Jesus dude, get some help.
Question, were Phee and Jin fucking during their time at university too? Or are you telling me all this ‘I love him’ crap was from one night of decent dick and a few ‘best friend dates’? Like the math ain’t mathing, establish a better timeline here for me when it comes to their relationship because in the first episode it made it seem like they were screwing around for a really long time, months at the very least. But now it seems like they fucked around a couple times in one 12 hour period, Jin decided that was enough to wanna date, caught Phee in a mood because of the fake news report and then they just… what? Kept fucking? Stopped? Jin carried a torch for him for over two years after one night together? Acted like a scorned lover for years because of a single teenaged tryst? Not to be that guy, but girl, you’re coming off a little desperate. I need a more accurate timeline!!!
“This won’t kill them.” Tan, could you try and be a tad more convincing when saying that?
That was a fantastic look from Tan to end on, ngl. Although someone needs to save baby White!
Next episode, we’re back in the present for the most part it seems. Jin somehow still trusts Phee, Fluke somehow gets the gun back and oh look, he holds White hostage, poor bb did nothing, leave him alone! And Tee clearly does know what happened to both Non and Keng as he runs up onto the roof where his uncle is to see the pair… unconscious? Dead? One of each?
I want some backstory about how White fits into all of this next time as well, that would be great. Although considering how little the timeline of events during grade 12 are fully explained, I doubt knowing more about White would make very much sense at this point.
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florenceisfalling · 1 month
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what is important to me in the inevitable softboyifying of benson is that he is not actually all there politically. like. yes, he points out that malls are part of corporate greed. yes, he targets his shitty manager and a homophobic dickhead. yes he hates cops. BUT look at him. he insinuates unkind things about a black woman who is just trying to do her job and shoots her in the leg for calling him out on it. he pokes fun at mrs. beard's disability before threatening her life too. he expresses insane opinions and false stats about teen celibacy. i love this guy and he clearly has "stick it to the man" type of values. but also he's fucking nuts. please do not depict him as a paragon of virtuous opinions after watching the movie where he fucking shoots and threatens a bunch of people including random innocent cashiers and shit. i will go insane
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lulublack90 · 1 month
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Prompt 17 - Body
@jegulus-microfic March 17 Word count 964
Previous part First part
CW- Stabbing with a dagger and sword
With most of the day left, they thought they’d push their luck and try to talk to the Grey Lady. 
They apparated into caves on the outskirts of Hogsmeade that Sirius told them about. Eight people apparating into Hogsmeade at the same time when, more than half of them were either death eaters or associated with them. Plus, they couldn’t risk being seen with James, Sirius or Lily. 
“This is pretty cool,” Evan said in awe as he looked around the caves. “How did you find them?”
“Padfoot likes to wander off sometimes,” Sirius answered as he prepared to disapparate and get Pandora. Only he, James and Remus knew where the caves were to apparate into, so they had to side-along the others.
Regulus rolled his eyes. Of course, his brother was still a pain in his animagus form.
Once they were all gathered again, they cast disillusionment charms on themselves, apart from James, who had his invisibility cloak. They made their way into the village, muffling charms on their shoes in case anyone heard them. 
They quietly broke into Honeydukes and went through the hidden trapdoor. They probably could have arranged an easier way into the castle, but that would require too much delay with Dumbledore. This way was far easier. 
They walked quietly down the passageway, visible again, while no one could catch them. 
Regulus fiddled with the dagger still in his robes pocket. He’d always loved it. It was small yet insanely sharp, easy to slice into your enemy’s body without them ever seeing it coming. He cast a few charms on it as they walked, checking to see if anything had been imbued into the blade. It appeared to be a perfectly ordinary knife with no special enchantments or poisons. 
“Remus?” He asked as casually as possible. 
“Yeah, Regulus?” Remus dropped back to walk beside Regulus. 
“How are you with healing spells?” He asked, not looking at Remus.
“Capable. Madam Pomfrey showed me the basics growing up, and I’ve learnt a few more since. Why?’
“Hey, Sirius?” He called his brother over. Sirius bounced towards him. He was far too excitable for what they were on their way to do. 
No sooner was Sirius in front of him, walking backwards with a stupid grin on his face, did Regulus’s hand shoot out and jab him in the side with the dagger. Sirius stopped and looked down. 
“Regulus, what the shit?!” Remus rushed over and started casting disinfecting and healing charms on his boyfriend. He turned, his eyes glowing even in the low light. 
“Explain!” He growled, keeping Sirius behind him and away from Regulus. Sirius’s disgruntled face popped around Remus’s shoulder. 
“Is that Bella’s knife?” He asked, squinting in the low light. 
“She said I could have it as long as I promised to use it on you. I was just fulfilling that promise. I checked it was just a knife before I stabbed you.” Regulus shrugged. 
“Oh, and that makes it all better, does it?” Remus snarled. Regulus was seeing more and more of the wolf shining through. 
“Reg, you are such a dick.” Sirius rolled his eyes at him but grabbed Remus and carried on walking. 
“Regulus, why would you think that was okay?” James asked, sighing deeply at the situation.
“He gets it. I barely nicked him with it, and this way, I can tell Bella I got him with it, or she’ll know I’m lying. Plus, he stabbed me all the way through with a sword when he was 10. This is payback.” James had to stop. 
“What do you mean he stabbed you with a sword?!” 
“It was an accident. He set off a firework in the house, and it knocked over a suit of armour, and the sword sort of went through me.” 
“You’re both absolutely nuts! Once this war is over, you are both going to see a mind healer and lots of therapy! All the therapy!” James strode off after the others, shaking his head. 
The rest of their journey went off without any more mishaps. They disillusioned themselves again and headed towards the Ravenclaw Common room. 
The Grey Lady was strangely easy to find. She was gliding along the corridor outside the spiral staircase which led to the Common room. 
They had agreed that Pandora should be the one to talk to the ghost, as she’d spent the most amount of time around her as apparently she was shy. 
“Hello, Helena,” Pandora’s airy voice filled the corridor even though she wasn’t speaking loudly. The ghost paused and stared at the blonde woman. 
“You again?” Her voice faded in and out as she spoke. The others were shocked. They’d never heard the ghost talk before. Pandora beamed. 
“Yes, me again. We were wondering if we could ask you about your mother’s diadem?” A change came over the ghost so quickly that James, Remus and Evan pushed their respective boyfriends behind them. 
“Another asked about it, and he defiled it with dark magic!” She yelled, blasting through each of the people standing in the corridor. Regulus shivered with the chill from her passing. He stepped forward, watching her as she came to be still again.  
“Please,” He pleaded. “We want to destroy it. We want to erase what he did. Will you help us?” Helena Ravenclaw floated to Regulus and stared into his face, only inches between them. Regulus stayed still, letting his mask slip away from his face and hoping the determined good intentions showed through. 
She narrowed her eyes at him and moved closer, whispering in his ear, her cold breath freezing his ear slightly. 
“It is here. In the room that changes with the broken and lost things.” Remus’s head snapped to look at Sirius. He knew where it was.   
Next part
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borzoilover69 · 10 months
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I know that you've already kinda figured out why dirkjakers like LE jake but I want to offer a more mundane reason and that is the absolute power fantasy that this man offers. I hate epilogues with a passion that could burn universes but ult dirk? My bpd ass was in shambles (that's why I'll someday make an essay on why dirk strider homestuck has bpd and/or npd), having control over people, over narrative itself, and most importantly fucking desimating your ex who called you clingy that one time while simultaneously still being obsessed with him, I've never lived vicariously through a character so much in my life. He is a horrible person but I Get him. "What would you do with this power" he asked the audience, and I solemnly nodded bc I would do the same thing (probably). And I suspect power fantasy LE jake offers is the same for some people bc don't you want to go apeshit? Don't you want to stop (not very successfully) conforming and be weird and off-putting freely? Don't YOU want to desimate YOUR ex? Both ult dirk and ult jake are what audience wants them to be and I think the audience wants them to be powerful, insane and murderous bc we ourselves cannot be like that irl. Their relationship is cathartic, their actions are cathartic, it's like religion if you relate to the god from old testament. Or I'm projecting big time which is also a possibility
Everyone take notes because this anon is speaking cold true facts and this shit is getting carved into the walls. I agree with the Dirk Strider has BPD headcanon, I offer up to you the Jake has BPD too headcanon in return.
I like the idea of Jake going batshit insane. I think a lot of people do, after all if the ancestors were anything to go off of, Jake and Dirk are pretty nuts.
Also fun sort of related fact, really fond of Ultimate Jake, it's because it plays into the mythos of their Demiurges / Denizens and how important that is to their stories. (I'm getting autistic here). Yaldaboath (Dirks Denizen, Destroyer of Peace) is considered a false god, harbinger of chaos, and uses the light he inherits from his mother, Sophia (personification of light and wisdom) to try to rise above others, even if he is blind and is not as aware of the aeons as his mother is.
Jesus destroyed Yaldaboaths kingdom and thus, Yaldaboath had him crucified, made a martyr. But before his martyrdom could set in, Jesus ascended and returned to the world. In Gnosticism, they viewed Yaldaboath as evil, and that Jesus had to overcome him "by destroying the Jewish Temple with an Earthquake lifting the veil or Yaldabaoth’s curtain of illusion, by Jesus’ resurrection and rapture. "
Now, who do we have quite literally representing Jesus Christ himself? Okay, you're going to say Karkat, but do you know who *specifically* represents the place where Christ himself died and was made a martyr and the rapt- OK ITS JAKE ENGLISH OKAY ITS JAKE ENGLISH. And the sufferer BUT THATS NOT IMPORTANT.
There's quite a few parallels with Yaldaboath being one that wanted to be recognised as a god and in his jealous fury condemned a mortal god and Dirk Strider. There's quite a few parallels between Jesus Christ, Karkat, and Jake English, his rapture and ascension. There's an INSANE amount of parallels between Yaldaboath's mother, Sophia, and Rose Lalonde. Even down to Rose going grimdark, which Sophia DOES, after she loses her light, which is something i'll go on about in another ramble. Thematically, if we're following gnosticism, Jesus Christ, aka Jake English, is the one able to recognise and overcome Yaldaboaths illusion, aka Dirk Strider. It just makes SENSE.
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skullsandcorals · 4 months
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https://www.tumblr.com/skullsandcorals/738285799236321280/im-dyslexic-im-not-stupid
1. Holy shit I am so happy I found another person who gets how smart Percy is, and gets that every instance of Percy looking/getting called stupid is due to his dyslexia or people not telling him anything.
2. Which book/chapter is this from? I need to bookmark it ASAP and start shouting it from the metaphorical tumblr hills.
3. We really don't talk about how good a mom Sally is? Like yeah she's badass and gentle but like. She respects Percy. When the school system failed Percy, she's the one who still not only believed that he was smart but still acted like it and probably taught him too. Queen mom Sally Jackson right there.
1.) YEAHH EXACTLY. Or his ADHD 😭 It drives me NUTS whenever Percy is treated as the dumb + comedic guy. Like I get what they're saying and why they're saying it, but sometimes his character gets reduced to JUST that and it hurts my soul. I get that he's funny as a narrator and as a character and sometimes he can be a little "clueless" but it just feels like some people like to think of that as either all he is or a huge part of who he is. I believe I've also seen Leo get this treatment despite literally being insanely smart at such a young age so. that's...fun. They can be funny and smart too 😞
2.) It's from the 10th Anniversary edition of The Lightning Thief! It's Rick's cover letter for the first readers of the manuscript & a note from the narrator. I don't have a copy of that edition myself, but I've seen some pictures of it on Rick's blog and someone posted one of the pages on Reddit (where I got it from).
Here's the full page from Reddit (source) & the picture from Rick's blog where the page is visible (source):
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3.) YEEEAHHHH I LOVE HER SO MUCH!!! What I would do to get adopted by her rn. The way she talks to him makes me kinda teary-eyed because she's just so...you can just tell how much she loves Percy and that she would do anything to make sure he grew up resilient and kind in a world that's always out to get him. She believes in him so much that it just makes me lose my mind a little. It's just so sweet and I can't help but feel so moved by it.
I'm not sure if you've read Chalice of the Gods, but there's this scene where (spoilers, kinda) Sally talks to Percy after the whole thing with Hebe and honestly this scene makes me want to sob and cry and weep
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“You are a lot of things, Percy. But helpless isn't one of them.”
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sicklyseraphnsuch · 9 months
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"Everytime I move, eventually you find me and start hanging around. Just a lame excuse to see me mad, it's getting me down."
Let's talk about this line from "Nuts" and how it plays into "I Remember You".
Imagine being an eleven year old girl, abandoned in the snow. Imagine that Simon left you even though you believe - with full faith that you never once spared your blood father - you believe that Simon could have stayed. That Simon's departure was unnecessary. That he left you because he quit. He gave up.
And when you next see him again, he has completely forgotten you. And because of your faith in him, you believe that he surrendered to the Crown. And that his departure was less a forced decision and one he made with full intent and clear consent. Because Simon is so strong. He's fought the Crown for so long. Why couldn't he stay? Why didn't he stay?
You don't understand.
He forgot about you. And maybe that was all you were worth to him. Maybe you're just an afterthought after all.
Fast forward through the years. You move from house to house. When you lived out in the woods with Ash, when you lived in the treehouse, even going way back and far out there in the middle of bumfuck nowhere, somehow this crazy, doddering, dribbling old fool would find you. Again. And again.
Maybe it's a sign that he remembers you?
But he never does. He just wrecks your shit. He once burst all the pipes in your house, flooding all your rooms, and wrecking all your shit, because he hid in your bathroom and cried into your toilet until all your plumbing froze. He lashed out at Ash (which yeah, okay that can pass, but it was not fun at the time having to deal with your pissed off bf). He crashed a few dates with Bonnie when you were first feeling each other out, and you would have wrung his neck if he ruined that for you. This stupid madman who kept hanging around, calling for your attention every five minutes until you didn't have enough silence to think.
He only pisses you off. If you ever needed proof that your Simon is gone, that he left, that he quit, Ice King was that living proof. He's nothing but a memory and Ice King is only a nuisance. He doesn't care that he's making you angry, that you ask him to back off, to go away. It's like he wants to see you mad. And maybe that's it. Maybe this is how Ice King entertains himself. He pisses off everyone and gets a hoot when he gets a reaction.
That's all you are to him nowadays. A cheap source of endless entertainment because you can't not be mad at him, you can't ignore him.
But then, you find Simon's letters, you find Simon's pleas. And that recontextualizes everything.
You thought that Simon didn't value you enough to stay. Because if she was really important, then he would've stayed. He would've remembered.
But the letters show that Simon did not leave easily. That he begs for your forgiveness because you're still someone important to him. People don't beg for absolution from those they hate. They beg from those they love, from those whose love they reach for with both hands.
Simon never stopped loving Marceline, and he never stopped looking for her. He couldn't bear to part with her. He wanted to apologize because Marceline's love is something immeasurable, something to treasure, something to seek in spite of the enforced insanity.
And it's a direct counter to her beliefs.
Because she's monster trash with a skewed moral compass. A literal parasite. Nothing more than a problem to other people. How could Marceline believe that there's something in her that could help people?
So Marceline sings, "I want to help you but I don't know if I can."
"Please forgive me for whatever I do, when I don't remember you," Simon sings back.
You are enough, Simon tells her, from five fathoms deep within his curse, from a thousand years after their parting.
He says, "your love has always been enough. You are not hollow and empty even through all the hurt and horror of your life. I will beg on bended knee because I know this, and I know you."
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