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specialagentsergio · 3 years

Text

only if you knew

summary: Spencer’s in love with you, but you’re in love with Emily.

pairing: spencer reid x f!reader (unrequited), emily prentiss x f!reader

category: angst

content warnings: description of a panic attack, mentions of bullying and homophobia, swearing

a/n: my take on a fic inspired by heather by conan grey. writing is a hobby i've had for years, but this is the first time i've posted any of it. i hope you enjoy it.

a/n 2: bi!reader, fem!reader bc emily is a lesbian

word count: 3.5k

song: heather by conan grey

series masterlist || masterlist

Spencer isn’t looking for a relationship when he meets you. He wants a relationship someday, but he likes his life the way it is for now. He doesn’t want it to change yet. He thinks that’s why it took him so long to realize he was in love with you.

You join the team a few weeks after Rossi does. Hotch has been wanting to add another profiler to the unit for a while. The fiasco with Gideon’s loss of Sarah and subsequent disappearance, then Emily’s sudden resignation, finally convinces the board that it might not be a bad idea to have more than five profilers on the team.

Morgan and Hotch already know you. You come from the sex crimes unit, and the BAU had worked a case with them a month before he joined. You were just an agent trainee at the time, but Hotch saw promise in you, and has kept an eye on your work ever since. (Spencer wonders how he never ran into you at the academy; you’re only a year older than him and you both joined the Bureau in 2003. Eventually he realizes it’s because you weren’t remediated.)

Despite an awkward introduction (he gives you his spiel about handshakes and how it’s safer to kiss, and you respond with, well, if you insist, prompting laughter from Morgan and Prentiss, and leaving him at a loss for words as his face turns red), you quickly become friends. Your mutual love of reading is how you initially connect. Then he notices you only ever cut off his infodumping when you’re working on a case, and it’s always with a gentle, “redirect, Spence.” Outside of work, you seem genuinely interested in what he has to say, even going so far as to follow up on things you had to interrupt earlier.

You also bond over your shared love of Doctor Who, and begin to join him at Penelope’s place each time a new episode airs. It’s not long before he considers you his best friend.

Spencer tells you things he rarely puts a voice to. He tells you about his kidnapping and subsequent Dilaudid problem (he still struggles to call it what he knows it was—an addiction) after the South Padre Island case, when he doesn’t pick up on Adam’s dissociative identity disorder until it’s just a bit too late.

On the one year anniversary of his solving of the Riley Jenkins case, he recounts what happened the day his dad left in a wavering voice and you run your hand up and down his back when he cries.

He even tells you about the goalpost incident and the real motivation behind that act of bullying, a detail he omitted when he told Morgan about it. (He didn’t have a crush on Alexa Lisben, the prettiest girl in school. He had a poorly concealed crush on the football team’s quarterback.)

You also open up to him in a way you seldom do to anyone. You tell him about the bullying you experienced in high school over your shared sexuality. You tell him about the worst cases you saw in the sex crimes unit, and on a day when you’re struggling, you tell him what the worst day of your life was.

He’s had great friends before, and still does, but he’s never had one quite like you.

Spencer can’t say what the moment he fell in love with you was. He can’t pinpoint when your friendship became something more to him. But he knows the moment he realized he was in love, and he doesn’t need an eidetic memory to recall it perfectly.

It’s such a small thing, nothing big and grand like film and literature portray. He’s showed up to the roundtable with a new haircut. Hotch asks him if he’s joined a boyband, which he doesn’t quite get, but Morgan finds very amusing. You catch up to him on his way out of the bullpen and say, “I liked your hair long, but it looks great like this, too.”

That’s when he knows.

The realization is like a punch to the gut, yet it’s not unpleasant. His world feels turned upside down, but upside down is looking like a fine place to be.

And you just carry on like nothing’s happened, like you haven’t just irreversibly changed his life with twelve words.

---

Spencer spends a few weeks sitting with this new information, mulling over his feelings and weighing his options.

Does he tell you he loves you? The FBI holds annual seminars discouraging fraternization between employees, but it’s mostly aimed towards preventing relationships between supervisors and their subordinates. There’s nothing in the regulations preventing two agents in the same standing from dating (which he knows because he’s read the entire handbook). A visit to HR and a form filed away makes that perfectly acceptable.

But as much as he wants to be with you, he’s terrified of losing your friendship. It’s one of the most important things in his life. If he confesses and you don’t return his feelings, it very well could ruin it. Things would never be the same between the two of you again. He can hardly tolerate the thought of that.

He has everything to lose, yet also everything to gain.

All of his speculation is operating under the assumption that you’re single, but he’s confident in that. You tell each other everything—there’s no way you wouldn’t mention seeing someone. You’ve always told him about any dates you’ve gone on in the past. And if, for some reason, you’d keep it a secret, he’s a profiler. He studies human behavior. He’d notice something going on.

Spencer finds out he’s wrong in what he thinks must be the worst possible way, because you don’t tell him yourself. He finds out you’re taken by accident.

It’s only a few weeks after JJ’s forced departure. They’ve just wrapped up a case in Connecticut, and Hotch postpones their flight home to the next morning so they can all get some solid rest after a grueling three days. Rossi offers to take them out for dinner at the hotel’s restaurant, and everyone takes him up on it.

You and Emily excuse yourselves a bit earlier than normal, but he knows he’s not the only one hurting over JJ, so he chalks it up to that. He finds himself following suit not even five minutes later when he fails to stifle his seventh yawn of the night. He steps off the elevator to the fifth floor and hears some quiet giggling from down the hall, but doesn’t think anything of it, just heads towards the room he’s sharing with Derek. It’s the door right after the one leading to the room you’re sharing with Emily, so there’s no way for him to avoid seeing what breaks his heart.

Emily has her hands on your waist as she presses your back against the door. You’re trying to scan the keycard and open the door from behind, a task you’re struggling with because she won’t stop kissing you.

Spencer freezes, his own keycard dropping from his fingers onto the plush carpet.

“Emily, Emily,” you whisper against her lips, trying and failing to suppress your laughter. “You have to let me open the door.”

“Mmm, fine,” she relents with an exaggerated sigh. She presses a kiss to your nose before taking a small step back so you can turn and scan the card.

Your eyes leave Emily’s face and land on his. You just stare at each other for a moment, unmoving.

Emily notices, of course, and asks you, “what’s wrong, baby?” before following your gaze to him.

That finally snaps Spencer out of his daze and he blurts out, “Sorry!” His voice cracks and he clears his throat as he bends down to pick his keycard back up. “Sorry! I didn’t mean to, to—disturb you. I’m just, just really tired and I’m gonna go to bed now.” He keeps his eyes on the carpet as he passes by the two of you, ignoring you when you say his name.

“Reid—” Emily starts, but he’s already letting the heavy door fall shut behind him and pressing his back against it. His breathing is shaky and he grips the strap of his satchel tightly. He doesn’t bother to turn on the lights—he knows they’d be too much right now—and starts to sway from side to side in an attempt to self-soothe.

It doesn’t work, so he begins pacing across the room, back and forth and back and forth until he stumbles over Derek’s go bag and any semblance of control he had breaks. His tie feels too tight and the way his bag is thumping against his thigh as he walks is maddening. He pushes his satchel off of his body as fast as he can, then claws at the knot of his tie, pulling on it until it’s loose enough to slide off over his head. He throws it across the room.

He starts pacing again, unable to stop one of his hands from flapping as his breathing grows erratic. He trips over Derek’s bag again and kicks it in retaliation, just barely holding back a shriek of frustration and agony and panic because oh god oh god I can’t breathe it’s all too much, too much, I can’t breathe.

Spencer can’t breathe because he loves you, he loves you, he loves you, and you don’t love him back.

---

He loses time.

It happens, sometimes, when he has a shutdown.

One moment he’s pacing across the hotel room floor, trying in vain to catch his breath, and the next he’s letting out an involuntary whine when the room lights turn on. Whoever flipped the switch turns them back off immediately.

Slowly, Spencer comes back to himself.

He’s sitting on one of the beds, hugging a pillow to his chest as he rocks back and forth. His back thumps lightly against the headboard with each motion. He can breathe again, but they’re the wobbling breathes that come after crying. He touches his face and it feels wet.

“Reid.”

It’s a whisper from across the room, and he tenses on instinct.

“Reid, it’s Morgan,” it continues, and Spencer relaxes. He recognizes his friend’s voice now. He makes a small humming noise to indicate that he’s listening.

His eyes have adjusted to the dark now and he can see the vague shape of Morgan walk forward and sit on the bed across from his. “Are you okay, kid?”

Spencer’s breath hitches as he tries to respond. “I.... no,” he whispers. He hasn’t remembered what happened yet—something else that can happen when he spirals—but he feels all hollowed out inside, like someone has scooped out everything that’s him and left behind only a deep, aching pain in their wake.

“What happened?” Morgan asks quietly.

“What happened,” Spencer repeats under his breath. He presses the heels of his hands into his eyes as he thinks. What happened. What happened, Spencer?

“You left dinner,” Morgan prompts. “You said you were tired and were going to go to bed.”

That’s right. He left the table and headed to the elevator. Got off on the fifth floor. Walked down the hallway to their room and found—

It comes back in a rush, without warning.

You’re laughing as Emily kisses you, the hand not struggling with your keycard tangled in her hair. Emily places an affectionate kiss on your nose when she pulls away. You freeze when you see him, and Emily calls you baby.

The memory takes his breath away again, and he feels hot tears falling down his cheeks.

“Reid, Reid.” Morgan’s voice interrupts his thoughts. “Stay with me. You’re okay, kid. You’re okay.”

All Spencer can do is shake his head, because he’s not okay, he’s so terribly far away from okay right now.

“Tell me what happened, kid,” Morgan urges. “Then I can help you.”

Spencer lets out a humorless laugh. Can’t Morgan see that there’s nothing he can do, can’t he see that Spencer’s in a thousand pieces on the floor? “You can’t help me,” he says, his voice hoarse from countless tears he doesn’t remember shedding.

“You don’t know that. How about you tell me what’s wrong, and then I can decide?”

“No, I do know that, Morgan,” he snaps. His rational brain recognizes that he’s acting out, that Morgan doesn’t deserve his anger; he’s not who Spencer’s actually angry at. But his emotional brain is the one running the show right now, so he continues, “Did you know?”

“Did I know what?” Morgan asks calmly. He’s keeping his cool, trying to deescalate the situation, and that makes Spencer even more upset. He doesn’t want to calm down, he can’t calm down, not when his world is falling apart.

“Did you know that Emily and (Y/N) are—are fucking?” he spits out. He can’t bring himself to say that you’re in love, despite the fact that the way you were looking at Emily can’t mean anything other than that.

“I... No, I didn’t, Reid,” Morgan replies. He’s not lying, but Spencer almost wishes he was, just so he could have someone to yell at right now. “Why is that upsetting for you?”

Spencer doesn’t answer. He’d never admitted his feelings about you out loud before, not even to himself, and he sure as hell won’t do it now. He knows the moment Morgan figures it out, because he can hear him sigh.

“I’m sorry, kid,” he says. “I know how you feel.”

“Oh, right,” he scoffs. “Derek Morgan, god’s gift to women, knows how I feel right now.”

“Come on, Reid. Being able to leave a bar with someone on my arm doesn’t make me immune to the pain of liking someone who doesn’t like me back.” Derek’s voice is gentle, so much more gentle than he deserves right now, considering all Spencer’s done since he stepped foot in their room is lash out at him.

“I don’t like her, Morgan,” he says quietly. “I love her.”

Derek doesn’t say anything for a while. He doesn’t try and reassure him that he’s okay, that he’ll get over it. He doesn’t use that awful line of there’s plenty of fish in the sea. He just sits in silence with him. It’s exactly what Spencer needs. He doesn’t know how Morgan knows this when he didn’t himself.

Derek always seems to just know.

---

The morning comes before he’s ready to face it.

He wakes up to the sound of the shower running. His head hurts and his eyes feel puffy and sore. A beam of light is cutting through a gap in the curtains, landing on his face.

Spencer rolls over in bed and curls in on himself as his memories from the night before catch up to him. He stays like that, a lump under the covers, until Morgan comes out of the bathroom freshly showered.

“Hey, kid,” he says. “You awake?”

Spencer just grunts in response, unwilling to do anything that isn’t staying wrapped up in this cocoon of blankets. You’ve always called him a “Spencerrito” when he does this. He pretends to hate the nickname, but really, he finds it endearing. Now, though, it just hurts.

Any thought of you and the little things you do, the special things you do, the things that make butterflies sprout in his stomach, things that just yesterday made him feel warm inside, now make him ache all over.

“The jet’s set to take off in about an hour,” Morgan tells him. “If you don’t wanna fly, we can drive back together.”

The offer is tempting; spending an hour in close quarters with you and Emily knowing what he knows now, is not his idea of a good time. But he knows what he has to do. He’s known from the moment he saw the way you looked at Emily last night.

About a year ago, you’d come to his apartment on a Saturday night, looking truly downtrodden. You had been on a date, but it didn’t go well. “I’m scared I’ll never find someone,” you’d confided in him, your eyes filling with tears. “What if there’s no one out there for me, Spence?”

He hadn’t been sure how to answer. After all, he often felt the same way. So he’d put your favorite movie on the TV, dug some ice cream out from the back of his freezer, and stayed up late with you, watching one movie after another until you both dozed off in a tangle of limbs and blankets on his couch.

Slowly, he pushes himself into a sitting position on the hotel bed and looks at Morgan through the strands of hair hanging in his eyes. “You can’t tell her.”

Morgan raises his eyebrows in surprise. “I wasn’t going to, Reid.”

“I mean it,” Spencer insists. “(Y/N) can’t know. Emily, either. They... I don’t want to ruin this for her.”

“Hey,” Derek says, raising his hands in a placating gesture. “My lips are sealed, kid. I wouldn’t do that to you.”

Spencer sighs. “Thanks,” he mutters, then attempts to rub the sleep from his eyes. “An hour, you said?”

---

He sequesters himself in one of the corner seats on the jet. He gets multiple worried and confused glances from everyone, including you, but no one pushes, as his body language just about screams, “leave me alone.”

Twenty minutes into the flight, someone slides into the seat across from him and he reluctantly looks up from his book. It’s Emily, looking properly nervous, folding her hands in front of her on the table.

He’s not sure if he’s relieved or disappointed that it’s not you.

He is sure that he doesn’t want to be talking to Emily right now, though. She took you, she took you, she took you, she took you, runs relentlessly through his mind. He pushes the thought away, glancing down at his book and running his finger across the pages to try and keep himself calm.

“Reid,” she starts hesitantly, and he drags his eyes back up. “I know you’re mad that (Y/N) didn’t tell you about us.”

Well, you’re not wrong, he thinks bitterly. It’s just not for the reason you assume, Emily.

“But, um, that’s not on her,” she continues. “I asked her not to. And it wasn’t just you. We didn’t tell anyone. Only Hotch knew before last night, and that’s because we had to tell him.”

“Why?” Spencer asks bluntly. He does, technically, know the answer. Emily is very private when it comes to her life outside of work. It makes sense that she wouldn’t want to go around announcing her relationship status.

But Spencer doesn’t understand it. He doesn’t understand how she can be in love and not want to shout it from the rooftops. It doesn’t make any sense to him that she wouldn’t want to show you off and introduce you as my girlfriend. He can’t comprehend how she can have you, be loved by you, and not want everyone to know it.

Emily’s slightly taken aback by his question, and she bites her lip as she considers how to answer. “I just... really prefer to keep my work and personal life as separate as possible,” is what she settles on.

“Kinda impossible to do that when you’re seeing a coworker,” Spencer shoots back, then mentally scolds himself. You said you wouldn’t ruin this for her, Spencer. Don’t ruin this for (Y/N).

Her chuckle is nervous. “Well, yeah,” she concedes. “But we make it work.”

Spencer then asks a question he doesn’t really want to know the answer to before he can stop himself. “How long?”

Emily’s eyes fall to her hands as she poorly hides a smile. “Eight months.”

Eight months. Eight months. You’ve been with Emily for eight fucking months, and you never told him, never even hinted at the fact that you were seeing someone. You kept him in the dark for eight months.

You let him fall in love with you when your heart already belonged to someone else.

He doesn’t want to be mad at you. He knows he’s not being fair. He really, honestly, wants to be happy for you, happy that you found what you’ve been searching for, but reality seems hellbent on making that as difficult for him as possible.

“Please,” Emily says, “if you’re going to be mad, be mad at me. I was the one who asked her to do this.”

He stares down at his book for a full three minutes before finally muttering, “Alright.”

He sees her shoulders slump in relief in his peripheral vision. “Thank you,” she whispers, and then she leaves.

Spencer watches her walk across the jet to the couch and sit down next to you. He looks down before you can look at him because he knows he won’t be able to handle what he’ll see in your eyes. It’ll be love in your eyes, but love that’s not directed at him.

Emily took you from him, she took you, she took you, his mind repeats until Spencer makes the first of what’s to be many attempts to accept the truth.

Emily didn’t take you from him. You were never his to begin with.

---------------

tell me what you thought here!

#spencer reid x reader #emily prentiss x reader #spencer reid fanfic #emily prentiss fanfic #criminal minds fanfic #criminal minds self insert #angst #spencer reid #emily prentiss #my fic

308 notes · View notes

realcube · 3 years

Text

What BNHA Heroes have their s/o saved as in their phone

Class 1A x Reader

+ Aizawa and Shinsou

tw// cussing, cringe smh, lots of love <3

Class 1A

Yuga Aoyama

he has you saved as ‘my ✨star✨’

and honestly you love it because he calls you that in real life too

Mina Ashido

she has you saved as ‘bubs 💞💓💖💝💘💕’

the only reason there isn’t more hearts was because of the limit smh

she changes it every few weeks to a new pet name though

also she calls you that irl sometimes

Tsuyu Asui

she has you saved as ‘my flower 🌺’

honestly, the only reason she put you as that rather than your name because of your intense love for flora

every date you take Tsuyu on is always to somewhere with beautiful scenery and an abundance of flowers

Tenya Iida

he has you saved as ‘beef stew’

he originally had you saved as ‘(Y/N) (L/N)’

but you showed him that you had him saved as ‘Honey’ so he wanted to save you under a pet name too

however, he couldn’t really think of one so he asked for you assistance and you told him that most cute pet names come from food

“So, what food do I remind you of, Iida?”

“Beef stew.”

Needless to say you both were laughing your asses off for a while after that

but it’s still cute because beef stew is his favourite food just like you are his favourite person

Ochako Uraraka

she has you saved as ‘(L/N) <3 ’

she wanted to use a heart emoticon but her flip-phone doesn’t let her smh

Also she doesn’t have a pet name for you yet but she is working on it

like she tried calling you ‘baby girl’ but then you explained to her the sexual undertones to that name so she stopped and she’s been too embarrassed since then to try again

Mashirao Ojiro

he has you saved as ‘tail boy’s s/o 🤪’

y’all had a whole-ass discussion about this one time lmao

y’all were brainstorming ideas for what you should save each other as in your phones

you didn’t want to have something basic like ‘babe’ or ‘my heart🥰’ but rather something funny and you suggested (jokingly) to save his contact as ‘tail boy’

and rather than being offended like you thought he’d be, you both ended up laughing your asses of together for a solid 5 minutes (at least)

so you saved his contact as that and since he couldn’t come up with a funny nickname in relation to your quirk, he just saved you as ‘tail boy’s s/o🤪’

Denki Kaminari

he has you saved as ‘ASH CECHUM 😩😳💦🌚💓🧀'

plz don’t ask about the emojis idek

anyway, he saw that you saved him as ‘Pikachu <3′ which makes sense considering his quirk..

so he took it upon himself to save your contact as - in his own words - “That guy who owns the Pikachu from Pokémon’

however, despite the fact he has watched Pokémon before, he had no idea how to spell Ash’s second name and apparently the thought never came him that; ‘hey, maybe I should google it.’

so he just sounded it out

as for the all caps, contrary to popular belief , he does know how to turn it off

he just chooses not to for the aesthetic and also it takes a lot of effort

that is why he doesn’t use proper punctuation either

Eijiro Kirishima

he has you saved as ‘love bug’

honestly, you’re not too sure of when or why he changed your contact name after y’all started dating but..

you thought it was cute but..a bit cringe

obviously you didn’t say anything about it though, you weren’t trying to be mean to your boyfriend for no reason

it’s not like he called you that irl

however, he’d be out of his mind if he thought you were gonna save him as something like that

the best he’ll get from you is ‘Kiri babe 🤘' (get it? bc...rock!)

Kouji Koda

he has you saved as ‘love bug’

ASKJFCWB YOU THINK IT IS OUT-OF-THIS-WORLD ADORABLE OML

like it makes sense because he like talks to insects and stuff and you’re his lil love bug cause you are his lover and stuff hhhhh

also because of the size difference between you and him, i mean, you are basically the size of an insect compared to him

in short, Koda supremacy 🙇‍♀️🙇‍♂️

Rikidou Satou

he has you saved as ‘sugar pie’

honestly, poor man

he was completely clueless when you asked him to save you as something cute

like, he know what you meant...but he had no idea what to go for

so you chose for him 👍

and you made a pretty good decision tbh I mean, it’s cute! it relates to his quirk and all

and he has started to call you that irl sometimes and it always makes your heart go brrrrrrr

Mezou Shouji

he has you saved as ‘hunk’

ok, i know i said Satou was a poor man but let me just say

THIS POOR MAN

you told him it’d be cute if you both saved each other as cute pet names in your phones and dead ass him response ‘you’re not my pet though..’

AAAAAAAAAAA

so after a lot of explaining, as an example you whipped out your own phone and showed him how you had saved him as ‘hunk’

...he really went and just copied you

you thought that was so funny and precious though so you didn’t ask him to change it

Kyouka Jirou

she has you saved as ‘my melody 🎶’

ok, so it started when she noticed that you use the same pen everyday - a My Melody one

she thought that was so fucking adorable and she kinda started teasing you for it; not that you minded though

she also thought it was so cute when you’d get all flustered

so one day she just decided to change your contact name to that

it also kinda tied in with her love for music (but mostly her love for you uwu)

Hanta Sero

he has you saved as ‘my honey nutter butter biscuit’

after Kirishima called his s/o ‘love bug’ infront of y’all that one time, you both spent the next hour taking the piss and laughing at how over-the-top couple nicknames are sometimes

so just #for the meme he saved your contact as a hyperbole of what those cringe couple pet names are like

oh and you have him saved as ‘My beloved sweet peach taco’

Fumikage Tokoyami

he has you saved as ‘Helena’

yeah, he wanted to be edgy and save your contact after a MCR song

(no, he does not know that Helena is about Gerard’s grandmother but don’t you dare tell him)

Shoto Todoroki

he has you saved as ‘(Y/N) (L/N) 💖’

you texted him something during lunch one time to see his reaction while you were sitting next to him but then you noticed that your name in his phone was simply ‘(Y/N) (L/N)’

you mentioned it briefly but you didn’t make a fuss out of it because it really wasn’t a big deal

however, he asked to see what his name in your phone was and you showed him

you had saved him as ‘Babey ( •̀ ω •́ )✧’

he went home and did some research on some good pet names to save you as in his phone

after that, his search history kinda looked like;

‘pet names’

‘pet names for humans’

‘pet names for lovers’

‘cute nicknames for my girlfriend’

‘cute emoticons’

he deadass came in the next day and the first thing he did was pull out his phone and show you the emoji he put next to your name

“Look, (L/N). I found this emoticon and put it next to your contact name in my phone.”

yes, he sound like boomer..obvs

he spends 90% of his free time training rather than on his phone

and the time that he is on his phone, he isn’t using emojis, he is searching shit like

‘how to hack into a credit card without the PIN’

Tooru Hagakure

she saves you as ‘❤😘’

no, she doesn’t need to save you as your name to remember who you are

she’s not a peasant

Katsuki Bakugo

he has you saved as ‘pretty stupid face’

originally it was just ‘stupid face’

but you noticed it and just dropped a subtle comment like “hey, that’s mean.”

so he came in the next day with ‘pretty’ added to the start

“i am genuinely too nice to you sometimes.” he’d say

“THE STUPID FACE PART IS STILL THERE”

“I KNOW BUT I ADDED PRETTY TO THE START!!”

“Wow, tch, such I gentleman-”

“I know-HEY WAIT WAS THAT SARCASM?!”

Izuku Midoriya

he has you saved as ‘sweetest love muffin’

you that one couple i mentioned in Sero’s headcanons?

yeah, that’s y’all

you are both literally that couple

“No, you hang up.”

“No, you hang up!”

“Nooo, cause I’ll miss you”

“I’ll miss you moreeee”

he literally threw a bunch of his favourite adjectives into a pet name lol

also your contact name for him is something on a similar wavelength

Minoru Mineta

I know most y’all would’ve even give him your number lol

but for those who would 🤮

he has you saved as ‘sweet cheeks’ or sumn

Momo Yaoyorozu

she has you saved as ‘My McMuffin’

HOL UP LET ME EXPLAIN

ok so she let you take her to McDonald’s cause you wanted to see her reaction since she is used to gourmet cuisine or whatever

so it was sure to be entertaining

and it was

but not in a good way

she was almost sick after she had a bite of a big mac and then she tried to wash it down with the Sprite but then she fainted for like a solid 10 seconds

once she came back, she obviously wanted to leave..so you did

A year later, y’all are in the town and both of you are starving

But Momo realised that she didn’t have her card on her or any money but that was fine because at least you had your debit card on you

You had enough money on it for a taxi back to Momos place and a McMuffin each

Obviously she didn’t want one but when you started eating in front of her, of course she wanted a taste

and so it was love at first bite

she loved it so much so of course you bought another one for her and she consumed it in a millisecond (not literally)

so now she has your contact saved as the one thing competing against you for her love - a McMuffin

Shota Aizawa

unfortunately he does not have your contact saved as ‘kitten’

instead, in his phone you are saved as ‘The One 💙’

simple, yet it effectively shows his admiration - just the way he likes it

and he only added the emoji to make your name stand out more so he could easily tell whether he was gonna ignore the following message or not

because if Mike is texting him telling his that he needs the extremely important documents that Aizawa keeps in his coded filing cabinet, Shota will be like -.-

but if you text him asking for him to pick up chocolate on his way home, he’ll be like 🏃‍♂️

Hitoshi Shinso

he has you saved as ‘big daddy’

plz don’t ask

it’s an inside joke between you and him

okay well, if you must know

y’all were trying to come up with the most absurd nicknames for each other that kinda sound legit

some other gems

‘Muscleman’

‘Big scary snookums’

‘sexy giant’

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loseyoutoloveme · 3 years

Note

will you do a song by song review for life support? i really liked the ones for sweetener and thank you next!

oh absolutely, i’d love to! thank you for asking and being interested 🖤 all thoughts below.

the beginning:

this was such a great way to open this album, it’s so cinematic and really sets the mood so perfectly. one of my fav instrumental intros i’ve ever heard.

9/10

good in goodbye: “you put the over in lover, put the ex in next.”

the lyrics are so wonderfully corny and i’ll love this song forever, like the chorus is literally just so fun to sing along to.

i do think it feels a little... shallow compared to the rest of the album, and the album being released so long after this song came out makes it feel disconnected from the rest. but i love it so i don’t care.

7.5/10

default: “i know, i know this must be coming for me, i swear, i swear i will be the end of me, the end of me.”

this song is just sooo...... OUCH!

i’m obsessed with the way the chorus just SOUNDS like an emotional spiral, like her life falling apart, like falling into a deep depression, and then the outro builds like destructive racing thoughts.

also i never noticed the wave crashing and the bubbles at the very beginning until really recently, and i love that little touch. the whole song feels so underwater. cloudy and fuzzy. it does a good job of depicting certain symptoms of various mental illnesses.

8.5/10

follow the white rabbit: “is it haunting, baby, that i’m wanting, baby, that i’m wanting, wanting you?”

i actually was fully not expecting to like this that much based off the snippets she’d shared, but omg this left me WEAAAAK on first listen, which was the best surprise

there are definitely so many layers to these lyrics too, despite it being just a bombastic sexy toxic love song on its surface, particularly when thinking about the album as a commentary on mental illness, and some of the breakup/love songs as metaphors rather than straightforward love songs. definitely about infatuation and toxicity and perhaps knowingly entering a bad relationship as a bad coping mechanism, a way to avoid dealing with your pain or (as we see in effortlessly) a way to just feel anything at all.

9/10

effortlessly: “i hold my breath to breathe, hurt me so i feel, used to do these things so effortlessly somehow.”

oh god this song is just a punch in the stomach

i ALSO didn’t really expect to love this one based on snippets but the lyrics are just devastating and perfect and i hope speak to anybody who has struggled with self-harm and medication.

i don’t even have thoughts on this song, it just makes me go jsn*@(#nkdasdnkasd7*@U#j2k3n

love that this is such a fan favourite. it deserves!

10/10

stay numb and carry on: “truth is it was never love, your fault if you thought it was.”

the reverse “i’ve become emotionless” at the beginning >>>

also love the “i was gin and you were toxic . . . wish we’d just stayed plaTONIC” like a platonic relationship would be the opposite of toxic. it’s such fun wordplay.

also “i don’t feel like anyone” makes me emo, she really just slid the most simple but heartbreaking lines in everywhere and you don’t notice them until they hit you out of nowhere one day and you’re like ...OH

AND THE WAY HER VOICE STARTS TO GO MONOTONE AT “i’ve become emotionless”

in conclusion, madison beer is a vessel for god

10/10

blue: “you could be as sweet as honey but i knew the darkness in your mind.”

this is my least favourite on the album but it’s still fantastic

the lana influence is clear without being too copycat, like it’s still SO madison. sorta like lana’s video games modernized and adapted into something truer to madison’s vibe.

love love love the whole outro

glad that this wasn’t a single like it was planned to be

7/10

interlude: “would you do that shit for me too?”

VOCODER RIGHTS

this album in general is just not really for people who don’t like vocoders and lots of technical effects. i looove that she leaned into it so hard bc it’s so HER.

this song also has so much depth for an interlude, relaying the experience of feeling SO hard about people, and realizing like you’re putting in way more than you’re getting back.

the post-chorus is like... 🤩🌌💫☄️🌠

7.5/10

homesick: “these humans speak my language, still don’t understand it.”

THIS SONG...... IS MY BABY......

oh god it just breaks my heart on every listen. the image in my head is of a little girl talking to the stars.

and why does the line about her mom and dad make me wanna cry every time? i have no idea.

I BELONG IN SPACE...... FLOATING WITH DEBRIS.......

i’m sure she’s not the first person to ever use this metaphor for mental illness, expressing the alienation of mental illness (especially one as stigmatized and misunderstood as bpd) by talking about LITERAL aliens sdkjfsdfksd, but she does it SOOOOO well and sincerely that it feels like it’s uniquely hers.

the rick & morty sample is so funny and so weird and so madison. i will probably never watch an episode of that show in my life.

10000000000/10 this song is the loml

selfish: “shouldn’t love you but i couldn’t help it, had a feeling that you never felt it.”

my absolute favourite of all of the singles, noooo question about it. it’s a perfect, perfect, perfect song.

two years, alone on new years’, nightclubs, gemini... women writing lyrics with very specific details about the shitty men that the song is about... it’s everything to me.

this song will just NEVER age. every time i listen to it, it’s like the first time all over again.

10/10

sour times: “don’t know what song of mine you heard that made you think i’d want to spend the night with you.”

home with you’s big sister<3

not the strongest lyrics, but the concept and production are more than strong enough to carry the song.

she came on this bitch mad as hell

also love that this have been another fan favourite, seemingly??

men gross

9/10

boyshit: “don’t know how to talk or communicate, we’re so on and off, to you it’s a game.”

it took me awhile to get into this when it was a single ngl, probably because it came out the same night as evermore sjdknfsfnkjsd, but once i got into it, it became the best song ever

she’s soooo reliable with her “men ain’t shit” songs ugh

8.5/10

baby: “i’m a handful but that’s what hands are for.”

when this came out as a single it was the only thing i listened to for a solid week and a half. just an excellent song. the chorus is evvverrryttthhhiiinnnnggg.

WHAT IS IT SO CATCHY FOR?

9.5/10

stained glass: “my life’s a still fading memory of what i can’t have, and everything ’round me is starting to fade into black, but black and white is so much better, i’m learning how to hide my colours.”

i’m so surprised by how much non-stans seem to love this omg, it’s never been a fav of mine, as much as i still love it

but i’m obsessed with how different and distinctly madison it is

also this is a much more genuine take on the “pls stop being mean to me just bc i’m famous / you don’t know what people are going through” type of song than most of the others i’ve ever heard. her pain is evident, and the soft “i just might break” is just..... </3

the glass breaking and little scream are so good

she loves a good metaphor and so do i!

7.5/10

emotional bruises: “how do i word this? was about to write you this letter, but it was just curses in cursive, you probably deserve it.”

this was definitely my most anticipated song along with everything happens for a reason, like i listened to the snippet on repeat CONSTANTLY lmao. and the full song definitely lived up.

the scribbling sound is so fun, i love her obsession with little real-life sound effects

10/10

everything happens for a reason: “i still can’t find a reason you’d wanna hurt me so bad.”

THIS SONG IS VERY MUCH EVERYTHING

again, this was for sure one of my most anticipated songs and just kjsadsdkajsm god i love love love it

i think she posted a video one time of the song over a clip of the mermaids from peter pan and it was so pretty and i still picture that video when i hear this song. it’s just soooooo hazy and dreamy and retro and perfect.

also the song on the album where she got to show off her vocals the most. she found her niche with this song, truly.

100/10

channel surfing/the end: “YOU’REBADFORMYHEALTHISHOULDPROLLYKEPTSOMEHELPICANTCONTROLMYSELFIMADDICTEDOTHEHELL”

oh my god i was FLOOOOOORED at the dear society clip. dear society was and is one of my FAVOURITE songs, and i appreciate her reasoning for not including it on the album (just wanting some space for a new song instead of one we’d already had for so long), but it did hurt a lil. i was so happy she found a little way to include it :’) rip to hurts like hell tho since she didn’t get the same treatment sjdnksd.

the channel surfing is also just such a fun concept for an outro.

and her laughing with her producers at the end followed by such a sweet calming tropical instrumental...... oooo it’s so nice, it feels like the calm after the storm.

10/10

overall, this album was just SO worth the wait, it’s so fantastic, it’s the loml, one of my favourite albums ever. i LOVE that it’s helped anyone with BPD feel seen and understood, and as someone who doesn’t have bpd but has a couple of loved ones who do, the emotions she expressed in these lyrics have helped me to understand this disorder more too. just such a special album.

most of the criticism i’ve seen of the album has been that it’s overproduced, and that’s definitely criticism that i understand, bc it IS heavy on the technical side and some people just don’t like very heavy production, buuuut... some people do! i do! madison does! and heavy production does not automatically make an album bad. this type of production isn’t something that i expect her to move away from, because it’s clearly her thing, and maybe that just means her place in the industry will be more with the heavy heavy pop fans and maybe even in more hyperpop circles. i also think it’s SUPPOSED to be overproduced; it’s supposed to be a mess of emotions and sometimes a little chaotic. she executed it very well.

i hope by the time her next album is out, people will stop comparing her to like every single artist out there. some reviewers seem determined to pigeonhole her and compare her to every female artist under the sun, which feels like an absolute disservice to me. she is influenced by many different people and they comes out in her music, as it does any artist’s because everybody has their inspirations, but her sound is VERY much her own. as someone who has liked her for years, i can absolutely feel her essence in each song and nobody else’s.

a 10/10 album and such an amazing, promising debut<3

#madison beer #life support #answered #lofihoneymoon

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chaotic-catra · 3 years

Text

I wrote my reaction to Evermore when I heard it for the first time a week ago and I don't know what to do with it so here it is:)

Long story short: beautiful song, loved the references to Wonderland (And I fell from the pedestal right down the rabbit hole / We took a wrong turn and we fell down a rabbit hole) and Look What You Made Me Do (Missing me at the golden gates they once held the keys to / I don't like your kingdom keys they once belonged to me). I love how the melody is simple and how it’s not a “raising from the bottom” kind of song. That’s literally the best way to say it: long story short. She doesn’t care about the details, about who did what, because her mind is set elsewhere.

Marjorie: 30 seconds in and I just can't shut up about how taylor's voice was MADE for this kind of music, it is so soft and smooth like an asmr. It feels like it flows through the song. I love that the lyrics are really straight forward. Beautiful beautiful beautiful song just like Soon you'll get better. I like how it takes you a couple of minutes to understand where the song is going to.

Evermore: It gives me the feeling that Evermore and Long story short are two sides of the same coin, they talk about (almost) the same moment in time but one from a happy and hopeful perspective and the other one is still not so over all those dark moments. Evermore would happen a bit before LSS, it’s about this point in which you look back and you can't understand how thing went the way they went, what was the moment when things started to fall apart. And you are not in the eye of the storm anymore, but you are still not very far from it either. Is like everything that happened drowned and now you are alone with no energy and no direction and no perspective. “I'm on waves, out being tosed” Is like a transition song, it starts right after hitting rock bottom and follows her "recovery" until she finds something to hold on to: “In the cracks of light I dreamed of you. It was real enough to get me through.”

Happiness: CATRADORA. NOTHING LEFT TO SAY. CATRADORA. happiness is.. a lot. I love it.. It’s one of those songs that make u say wow.. she really captured this feeling incredibly. She said all there is to say, and showed all there was to show. It's like a flash of sanity in a turbulent time of transition.

Dorothea: CATRADORA CATRADORA CATRADORA also The Lumineers vibes. Dorothea sounds like a song to a friend who left for college or something like that, looking for better things because when living in a small town they tried their best to have a good time but they always knew they would never be 100% happy there and that’s the only reason why you don’t get mad at them or ask them to stay. aka She Ra if Catra wasn't left alone on a toxic and dangerous place when Adora left. It also sounds like “Sedona” by Houndmouth.

No body no crime: I didn't like this one much when I heard it for the first time but checking the lyrics is just one of those songs that make u go "this girl has such a talent when it comes to story telling". Her voice is so hypnotic, one of my favourite things about both folklore and evermore is how deep, calm, soft and SOLID her voice sounds. It was made for this kind of music. Also I love how she said “I sent this to my friend who is most likely to commit murder” SJDSDSJSJSK.

Coney island: I wish it didn’t remind me of certain things and I wish I didn’t understand certain lyrics but in the other hand, STRONG CATRADORA SONG from Adora’s pov. Adora feeling guilty for hurting Catra when she left and for making her feel like she didn’t matter to her. Realizing that no matter how many other wonderful people she meets, she’d never have a bond like the one she shared with Catra. I’ll elaborate on this:

Break my soul in two looking for you but you're right here (Adora looking for someone like Catra on every new person she meets but realizing that there’s no point because SHE ALREADY HAD A CATRA) /If I can't relate to you anymore then who am I related to? (Catra being the only family she had for most part of her life) /And I'm sitting on a bench in Coney Island wondering where did my baby go? The fast times, the bright lights, the merry go (The whole She-Ra thing happened way too fast, and she was introduced to tons of people who admired and revered because they only saw the legendary warrior in her, but when things calmed down she felt Catra’s absence) /The question pounds my head "What's a lifetime of achievement?" If I pushed you to the edge (feeling guilty for, partly, being the reason why Catra made so many bad decisions by becoming she ra) /Were you waiting at our old spot in the tree line by the gold clock? Did I leave you hanging every single day? (Catra waiting for Adora to come back to the horde) /And when I got into the accident the sight that flashed before me was your face (literally the vision she has at the heart of etheria) I could make a whole gifset out of this but I don’t know how to download the episodes

‘tis the damn season: I first said that Dorothea was about someone (X) talking to their friend who leaves their town. Listening to this I’m 100% sure that that person is Dorothea. (EDIT: I made a post with some parallels). And from this POV, you can tell that Dorothea wasn’t totally happy with her choice. She misses home, misses “X”, and recognizes not only that even if she left her town, she can’t escape from it, but also that she didn’t found what she was looking for in LA. There's an ache in you (Dorothea leaving) put there by the ache in me (Dorothea needing to leave bc she wasn’t there). Also, in “Dorothea” it doesn’t sound like “X” is sad about D leaving, but in this song she says that X is lying, and that X actually suffers because of it.

Willow: It's a really nice song, is catchy, chill, it's not gonna happen but it could have a really cool remix (EDIT: SOMEONE REALLY MADE A REMIX AND IT'S AMAZING). I don’t resonate much with the lyrics but the phrase “The more that you say the less I know, wherever you stray I follow, I'm begging for you to take my hand; wreck my plans” is just. so. beautiful. Yes, I’m avoiding the m*n part. Sorry Joe, ily.

Ivy: I didn't resonate much with this song so my brain stopped paying attention and instead it realized that the "How’s one to know?" part sounds EXACTLY like that Rose and Rosie song that they made to promote their sponsor that goes SUUUU-UUUURF SHARK. Biggest discovery at the moment if you ask me.

Gold rush: I don't have anything mature to say about this one. My leo ass wants someone singing things like this about me, that's it. sorry. About the music it sounds AMAZING I like the "magical" sound and the fairy tale atmosphere. I love the rhythm.

Cowboy like me: I can relate it to my own experiences but I don't thing they have much to do with the actual point of the song. Maybe I got this one wrong but I love this concept of "I wouldn't like to love someone like me, and you and me are made of the same". Champagne problems: First thought CATRADORA VIBES (Adora leaving Catra behind) “I dropped your hand while dancing, left you out there standing, crestfallen on the landing”. (EDIT: Now that I’ve listened to the album more times I like this one way more and the bridge is BIBLICAL) Closure: The “metal” noises reminds me of the American Horror Story’s theme song.

#taylor swift #evermore #me #don't kill me for the long ass post #I was excited

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mnxxlove · 4 years

Text

POURED DAISIES #2 #1

Pairing: Harry Styles

Prompts:

8; domestic relationship

11; multi chapter

16; just fluff

20; soulmates as friends or lovers

AU; rainy day

Word Count: 2566

Summary: After their date, Harry and Y/n go to his place. He then, decides that it would be a nice moment for him, to show her what he had secretly kept in his phone. He was literally going to show her an unreleased song which was inspired by the two of them. But at the end, he couldn’t make it, such as he desired to.

warnings: 50% fluffiness, 50% angst, a lot of hugging and staring bc I’m a whore for these things.

author’s note: I dedicated some time, and I made a song specifically for this. It is basically based by Girl Crush. I chose the music and tempo of this slowed version from soundcloud. However, I’ve changed the lyrics.

Girl Crush song

From me, to all of you 🦋

not my gif;

Without even waiting for the rain to stop, they picked up all the things that were on the white cloth. Y/n had the basket in one hand while on the other one, was having the camera. Whereas, on the other hand, Harry was only having the parasol and his instrument with him.

“Hey, hey! Wait! Let me help you!” Harry exclaimed, taking his guitar and the parasol, and running after her. But it was too late. Her hair was already wet and her clothes soaked.

Just when Harry placed the parasol under her head, he noticed that even in her eyelashes, there were raindrops. Or at least he hoped those weren’t teardrops… Without saying anything, Y/n helped him out with the parasol, and he left the basket, the camera and his guitar inside. But soon as she expected him to do so, he actually didn’t close it, and so he just accompanied her to the co-pilot seat, him holding the parasol for her to not get wet. Politely, he held the door open for her and once she was in, he closed it. The atmosphere of the inside of the car felt cozy, and way warmer than she ever thought it would. Sighing she started to unbutton her damp cardigan, to then just stay with her thin t-shirt.

Leaving her lips pressed, Y/n lowered her chin to look at it. And as she could, she tried to fold the cardigan. Distracted, she heard how the door next to her suddenly opened. It was him, just sitting down on his seat and passing both his hands by his now wet hair. Harry’s breathing turned calmed once he got in. His warm hands were raised, and his fingers brushed his hair rapidly. He seemed full with energy but still quite off. Leaving her not sure about how he was feeling.

Harry was feeling overwhelmed. His heartbeat was fast and accelerated. He was thrilled yet doubtful. Harry couldn’t wait to get home, and finally show her the song he composed about her. But if he did so, Y/n would finally know what he was feeling for her. Which caused him anxiety.

Before getting his keys in, he turned his head to the left and he saw that she was snuggled on her seat, her shaky arms embracing herself. She was having her face raised, but not too much. Y/n looked at him under her eyelashes, her pupils were dilated and scanning him in curiosity. Harry blinked repeatedly, eyes big and bright. He didn’t even think twice, and so, he took off his dried sweatshirt, to give it up to her. Him staying now in a thin, long sleeve shirt. Her cold hands touched him, and he reacted immediately, clearing his throat. Y/n looked at it, and silently, she just put it on. His perfume collided with hers, and it made her grin, while her eyes looked down. The fabric was soft and as she expected to be, it was looking loose and oversized on her. The long sleeves were hiding her fists, in ways none of her clothes would, and she liked it very much.

“Thank you.” She whispered almost inaudible. Y/n was still feeling cold, so she kept embracing herself. Harry started the car, and so it did the hot embracing heat, which felt welcomed and pleasing. Not expecting it, he grabbed both his hands and rubbed them continuously, not after he then, held Y/n’s hands, and kept them hidden with his own, giving her his warmth. He has always been attentive and caring with her. And she loved those little things he used to do often, for making her feel better…

She stared at him with complete adoration, but he was unaware of her guilty shy eyes. Harry was looking down at his hands keeping hers. He used to miss that a lot, the time he was away. He had missed her, and she had no idea how much… Keeping his breath in, he took his hands closer to him, to then, letting his breath to keep her hands even warmer. He stayed like that for a few minutes, not after he then, pressed a gentle kiss on them.

Harry was so lovable and sweet, sometimes it could make her wonder if he was real, because Y/n has never known anyone, in her entire life, that has ever been like him. He was so many things but the words liar, cruel or selfish weren’t the ones.

The way back to his mother’s house was comfortably silent, they didn’t talk or listen to any kind of music on the radio. Harry drove fast but with caution. His right hand was always placed on the wheel, meanwhile his left hand, on the other way, was being held by both her hands. Y/n couldn’t understand how warm he could still be. Nevertheless, Harry could not understand how she could be having her hands still quite cold in spite of him still holding them, and keeping them warm… When they were passing by his neighbourhood, she left his hand free, so he could park the car, using both his hands. It was still raining, so Harry told her to go straight to the porch and wait for him. But she just followed him, and helped him out instead. Y/n obviously received a bad glare coming from him, but she just scoffed and smiled having her head bowed to a side. When they went straight to the porch, she couldn’t help but to let but to sneeze.

The door got opened once he introduced one of his keys on the lock, and made a few rounds with the help of his wrist.

“Get in, please” He demanded, his voice soft but husky at the same time.

“Mom, we got back.” Harry told, entering after her.

Y/n looked at the place and sighed deeply. It wasn’t new for her, and she recognized every part of the house, as if it was her own. Anne, Harry’s mother knew and loved Y/n, dearly. And even if they weren’t used to calling or talking often, they got closer by the time.

“Alright! ...How was it?” His mom added, getting out of the living room. Once his mother noticed that Y/n was there with him, she smiled happily.

“It’s glad to see you again, sweetheart.” Anne told happily, her arms hugging Y/n.

“It’s nice to see you too.” Y/n answered.

Harry just looked at them, a big smile curving down his lips. He was beholding how the most important persons in his entire life, were hugging themselves, he was definitely going to be looking at them proudly.

“How was it?” Anne asked her, making Y/n to let out a nervous guffaw.

“It was fun.” She affirmed, now staring straight to him. Her cheeks were flushed and her eyes sparkled with joy and happiness. And so did his own. A thing, which his mother did notice. But sadly, they didn’t.

“...I’ll let you guys, on your own.” Anne smiled, separating from her, to then, raising her hand and placing it behind his back.

She knew her son, and even if he hadn’t talked with her about his feelings for Y/n, it was practically obvious at this point.

Having a satisfactory smile on her face, his mother left.

In silence, him having held the basket and Y/n her still dumped the cardigan with her, they went upstairs and walked straight towards his room.

Once in, he left the basket on his old studying table. Without telling her anything, she made herself comfortable by sitting on the rotating office chair.

“What should we do? Would you like us to see a movie?” Harry asked her, being quite expected.

But he then saw how her face drastically changed.

“Hey. What 's wrong?” His soothing voice made her close her eyes tightly in irritation. She seemed pissed and Harry didn’t have a solid clue about what it just passed through her thoughts that made her seem extremely disappointed.

“It's just… -I just remembered, that David wanted to have dinner with me. I’m sorry.” Y/n explained, her playing with the end of his sweatshirt’s sleeves.

“It’s fine…” His voice tried to sound normal, and he tried as best as he could to fake it. But even if it sounded convincing, she didn’t believe that it was ok. And so, she sighed, holding now his hand with her own.

“I’m sorry, Harry.” She repeated, getting up from the chair. And facing him. He seemed sad and disappointed. But as much as she didn’t want to leave him, he needed to go and see his friend.

After all, he has been there whenever she needed someone, and David wanted to have dinner with her to talk about a few things. He needed her, and it wasn’t appropriate to cancel on him, although she was still on time to do so.

“We can hang out in a few weeks. If you want to. Is that ok?” She added, a hand raising to place the curl that was getting on his way to his forehead.

Harry, feeling the touch of her fingertips, just closed his eyes to then keep his breath.

“Alright.” Harry hushed, pressing his lips in a thin line. Before she left the room, Y/n stayed on tiptoe to then leave a little kiss on his cheek.

Slowly, she got separated and her hand got released from his own.

It felt terribly bad. The time that he stopped feeling the closeness of her now warmth of her hand and that he saw how she left by his bedroom door. He knew he was lost and defeated. Clenching his jaw, he sat down on the rotated chair, and he turned on and off the shift of his old piano. And after pressing one random key repeatedly he started to play the song that he has been wanting to show her all along.

“I called you one, two times. I hate to admit it but,

I miss you in my arms. But it’s not enough…” His voice was slowed, soft but still deep. His fingers glided over the black and white keys of the piano meanwhile he did the tempo with one of his feet.

“I’ve loved you three, four times. That one time you held me tight… We’ve been too long apart, but that didn’t change the fact… That I’m gonna miss you so bad. I wanna take her hand, such as he did it, but... You’re no longer mine, dear. And you’ll never be mine. You’ll never be mine… And that’s why I cry at midnight. Calling you my life… And you’ll never be mine. Oooh, you’ll never be mine…” He sang, his eyes now staying up closed, while he couldn’t help himself but to feel angry and disappointed. He has been feeling completely bad lately, ever since he decided to leave London to make his new album.

Once he was gone, she started to talk more often with her friends, which wasn’t bad at all, however, by consequence she met a new guy, that kind of helped her to cope better with her own problems. No one knew that a lot of bad things would happen to her, once Harry would leave London. And even if they called and texted each other often, it just wasn’t the same, such as seeing each other and having a real life conversation. And even if David wasn’t half a man Harry is, he was there for her when she needed someone. Harry knew, that she didn’t do anything with David, and that she didn’t have any type of feelings,only compassion and gratitude for being kind with her. But still, he was insecure about it.

Bold of Harry to to believe that she felt something romantically for David, when she has spent months talking with him about how much he missed Harry.

“I’ve been gone for too long… Suddenly everything’s wrong. I don’t remember your eyes.

But I still hope you remember mine.

He’s been holding your hand… But you used to keep my heart. We’ve been too long apart,

but that didn’t change the fact… That I’m gonna miss you so bad. I wanna take her hand, such as he did it, but, you’re no longer mine, dear.

And you’ll never be mine. And you’ll never be mine… And that’s why I cry at midnight.

Calling you my life… And you’ll never be mine.

Oooh, you’ll never be mine...

I’ve loved you every minute. And I will, every hour of my life. But you’ll never be mine.

But you’ll never mine...Never mine.” He continued singing, his heart and soul represented in every word… Harry was hurt, but it wasn’t her fault.

Neither David’s, only his own. He had two months to decide whether he liked to go away or stay in London, and he thought it was best to go so he could finish the album as soon as possible.

He kept gliding his fingers over the keys of the piano, until he then decided to finish it. He heard some footsteps approaching, but he thought it was his mother, and he just ignored it instead of opening his eyes to look up who was there.

Eyes crystal, Y/n looked at him and without thinking, she spoke, making his fingers press the wrong keys. Harry’s eyes were wide-opened and his pupils dilated.

“You really feel like that about me?” She sobbed.

Her eyes were tinted red, such as her cheeks were as well. She seemed completely overwhelmed but so was him. Harry swallowed thickly, to then, standing up from his chair. He didn’t say anything, Harry just cupped her face with his hands, feeling now the tears falling down her face, then, colliding with the skin of his bare hands.

His face expressed sincerity and softness. His eyebrows were furrowed in concern and so it did his green sparkly eyes. Having his lips kept in a thin line, he just decided to scan her face to then, cleaning up her tears with both his thumbs.

“Harry, please. Talk to me.” She sobbed, placing both her hands on his, for him to take them off and hold her hands instead.

Harry just closed his eyes in embarrassment and sighing he nodded his head slightly. Feeling himself too shy to open his eyes, he just closed them even tighter. And not expecting it, she just pressed her lips with his own.

It was surprisingly electric, and it felt better than he could ever imagine. Any of the songs he has written about her, could ever be described as being kissed by her. It was innocent and waited and it feel satisfying knowing she felt the same way. Noticing that, still kissing her, he smiled and embraced her closer to him.

“I have always been yours.” She added, her voice lowered, making it to an end. His foreheads were pressed against one another. Their noses were caressing, their eyes were looking down.

They were fighting the urge to kiss each other again but they failed. Now him being the one to kiss her, this time softer. His head leaned for her and she smiled too just the moment before their lips pressed together.

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lesdemonium · 4 years

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1 and 11? Also I really liked the mom and the kids, and the baby was so cute and small. The dad was a little strange, but he also came down to hurriedly ask me some questions while he was working, so like I kind of get it. ☀️

sorry this took so long! i got it like right before i went to bed, and it’s hard to link things from my phone. but i’m so happy to hear that!! i hope it all works out and that it’s a good fit!!

1. are there any fics that you wanted to leave multiple kudos for, and were disappointed when you could only leave one?

the power to cancel his captivity - by kageygirl

"Thrown out already?" Geralt asks, and sees the bard shaking his head from the corner of his eye.

"Hardly! But a wise bard knows when to leave the audience wanting more."

"I've never met one."

"One what?"

"A wise bard," he says, and glances over to see the bard's mouth flapping indignantly.

"I -- am going to let that go, because you're right, where are my manners." He ducks in front of Geralt as they step onto solid ground, forcing him to halt, and gives him a bow, no less graceful for being quickly executed. "Jaskier, troubadour, poet -- and barker -- at your service."

__________________________________

Geralt assumes the bard will wander away of his own accord. Eventually.

It takes a while to realize that's the last thing he wants.

julian - by vands88

Inspired by Spencer B’s ballet AU

Jaskier was a child prodigy who burned out before he was sixteen. Now he's going from job to job with no aim in life until he meets Geralt Rivia - the famously strong ballet dancer who has also fallen from grace after an accident that he still blames himself for.

Geralt sees a potential dance partner in Jaskier and maybe even a chance for redemption. Jaskier, meanwhile, just wants to get laid.

bright smiles and tired eyes - by wickedwitchcraft

Modern Au, Punk!Jaskier, Siren!Jaskier. Geralt needs a new roommate to help him pay rent. Jaskier answers his ad. Through a handful of circumstances and series of events… there’s bed sharing. And some angst. ...lots of angst, apparently.

comply - by queen of all corgis

“This drink, the mage made it. It is going to make you a good boy,” she brushed back his hair, too long nails trailing along his cheek. “But you cannot tell anyone. You cannot tell a soul about this drink or this spell. You don’t talk about it. You keep it secret.”

Julian opened his mouth to ask more and was hit by a pain he had never experienced. The boy cried out in pain and doubled over, arm wrapping around his screaming middle. His mother shushed him and pet at him until he was able to catch his breath.

“See what happens to naughty little boys who don’t listen?” Her voice was sharp. “I told you not to say anything.”

Jaskier was cursed with obedience as a child and has mostly learned to get by without others knowing. Geralt is not most people.

like glitter and gold - by beelieve

Everyone is more in Ard Carraigh: more beautiful, more tempting. Whatever one wants, the magic grants. Geralt could break through the glamour’s hold, should he so wish, but he knows the spell also protects him from the scrutiny of the other guests. They cannot see him truly bare. One look at his scars and his mutations—his faults—and it’s over. He dares not risk any suspicion regarding his place here. No, the magic will hold—he'll make sure of it.

(Or: Geralt attends a masquerade and catches feelings. AKA, the ten thousandth Witcher orgy fic nobody asked for.)

unseen - by nervawkward

Here, now, time holds no meaning for him. He exists only in this moment: an arrow let loose with careless fingers, hoping for a target. He cannot stop. Lungs heaving, thighs burning with strain, he cannot stop. Stop and he will be caught. Be caught and he might as well die. He has not fought this long and this hard to die now.

After the mountain, Jaskier is captured and experimented on by a Mage of Nilfgaard. Somehow, he escapes. Now if only he could bring himself to believe it.

time on my hands could be spent with you - by elegantwings

Yennefer laughs long and hard. “Darling, if Jaskier and I lived together for more than a week, they’d find our corpses clinging to the same scarf.” Geralt agrees with her but says nothing. “I think he should stay with you.”

“Yenn,” he growls.

“Oh come on, Geralt,” she sighs, “You can’t stay mad at him forever. And he needs somewhere to stay, you know he hasn’t lived anywhere long enough to even have an apartment in years. He gets on well with Ciri, and it’s just for two weeks. What’s the harm?”

The harm is, of course, that he hadn’t even apologized yet for that damn video. “Fine,” he says, instead of admitting it. “But I’m kicking him out if he pisses me off.”

***

When the stay-at-home order starts, Jaskier needs a place to stay, and Geralt just so happens to have a guest bedroom, and he gets along with Ciri, and there's no logical reason to turn him away. So Geralt swallows his pride, and pretends that everything is fine, and that Jaskier doesn't keep openly mocking him with each song he releases. Two weeks will pass in no time, and they probably won't even see each other. Probably.

there are DEFINITELY more, these were just the ones most easily accessible to me bc i either bookmarked them or subscribed to them. but all of these are AMAZING and i LOVE THEM.

11: ever read guilty pleasure fics?

ohhhh yes absolutely but bc they are guilty pleasure i’d uh.... rather not say what fics they were LMAO.

#ask meme #thank you!!!#sunshine anon #Anonymous

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v-le · 5 years

Text

Kmusic: JTBC’s 슈퍼밴드(Superband) Review

Foreword: SUPERBAND WAS AMAZING AND IT WAS EVERYTHING I NEVER KNEW I NEEDED IN MY LIFE. yup

After binge-watching this entire program, I knew I had to write something about it. This show literally took my breath away, this show filled all my senses with overwhelming excitement, appreciation, and respect for every single participant, and the music, THE MUSIC, that came out of this show will forever be some of the most amazing songs I have ever heard in my life. But above all else, this show filled a void, an emptiness, a traumatizing, painful longing in my heart that has been needing some intense healing for a while now.

With all the things that have happened with my singer, Superband coming into my life and being the show it was, with all those amazing artists doing what they did, it was a literal blessing and I just……. I just cant believe they did THAT. They did it and it was AMAZING.

First off, whoever thought to make an audition program for MUSICIANS, SINGER-SONGWRITERS, ARTISTS, PRODUCERS, and just instrument-playing people AND VOCALISTS…….. you are a fucking genius and I am so glad that this idea never died in the shadows and was allowed to come to life on the screens.

What I found so poignant about this show from the get-go was how GOOD THESE AUDITIONS WERE… these people came in being REALLYYYYY good at (presumably) one thing like the guitar, or singing, or the violin. These people each had their specialty, they were exceptional music-making people. No one was quite mediocre or “rookie”, each person had some pretty credible expertise or experiences with music, and that in itself, the fact that we got to start off with these sorts of contestants, is something ive never seen before.

I don’t want to compare to other singing shows or the Produce series or whatever else countless audition programs Korea has been churning out over the past years, but since Superband began with this concept, it was already a show that I knew I would LOVE. For the 2 times ive watched Produce, I was always so perturbed by these prepubescent pretty boys frolicking around on stage, barely being able to even pull off a simple note. I just thought so many of them were so TALENTLESS…. But who am I to judge.

I think it really just comes down to preference, and even though I knew very well that idols and k-pop are not even things I enjoy anymore, I forced myself through programs like Produce. But now, with Superband, I felt so HAPPY and glad to be watching and discovering such talented musicians…THIS IS WHAT I WANTED ALL ALONG.

Even with the very first audition with Ha Hyunsang… OMFG UGHhHhh THAT BOI IS SO FLUFFY but so good at the same time… I feel like each time I see him, I ACTUALLY just want to give him a hug :’-(( the emotional depth in his singing is beyond describable and im SO PROUD TO HAVE WATCHED HIM GROW !!!!!!

That’s another thing I really really realllyyyyyyy loved from this show........ it was the process of watching these people develop, mature, change, grow with show. Some contestants went through some major growing pains, but it was so heartwarming to watch them improve, not that they were even bad to begin with. And the reversals!! Or the expansions?? The turnarounds?? The CONMEN!!!

AHHhhHHhhh okay im still very obsessed with the infinite amount of talent some dudes had, but before I get to that, let me continue on with those stellar auditions, aka the three genius guitarists, too ;_______; they. Are. So. Amazing. I love them a lot. I think I completely fell for them. And I hate myself. I hate to admit it a lot because I used to ALWAYS shit on dudes younger than me, I disliked basically every contestant on produce that was younger than ‘99, I thought they were all useless young children… but 김영소, 이강호, & 임형빈, were a completely different story. I LOVE THEM!!! I always had a bias toward a man that could play the guitar well… but these guys holy moly, they blew me away… they are so exceptional at what they do and the fact that theyre still so YOUNG… good lord…..my poor heart was so conflicted but ultimately so happy to have discovered them.

To watch these guys be thrown into that first 1:1 perf, and literally tearing up the stage and setting the bar VERY HIGH from the very beginning of the competition… phew… my goodness…. The talent with these kids… o my…. Okay yeah, nope im never gonna get over it. The ‘Adventure of a Lifetime’ stage will always be an iconic one from this program, and we all know it. Who knew a pure acoustic, musical performance, no vocals included stage would be so amazing…. I LOVE THEM!! Have I mentioned that yet?

Going back to the reversals/scamming thing... I guess this goes with watching some people grow……. I want to give a holy and blessed shoutout to probably my favorite contestant out of this entire show: 신광일….. he was such a dark horse. In fact, I don’t even remember his audition tbh because he was THAT not-memorable in the beginning LOL (or also.. I believe they never showed his audition to begin with)… but he quickly caught my eye as the eps went on because he came out of nowhere and whipped out all (or maybe not even all…) his skills like secret weapons, stage after stage.. he came in as a vocalist, picked up the bass for two the performances after that (all while still singing, too), although having never played the bass formally... and then once joining hands with Juhyeok and Yechan, he just miraculously becomes the drummer, because they ultimately decided that they needed percussion in their songs. So from thereon after, since ‘Hold Back The River’, Gwang-il, to me, was literally GOD(신) Gwang-il, as he played the drums and SANG TOO…..and may I add, hes not even that old?????? HES FRKING ONLY 2 YEARS OLDER THAN ME WTF;__; the boy got all these crazy blisters while perfecting the drums, but he didn’t let anything stop him and he was sucH A SOLID BAND MEMBER ALL THROUGHOUT, AHHHHHH MVP GOES TO SHIN GWANG-IL, YALL….(also I just found out that hes a trainee from Mystic Story, aka Yoon Jong shin’s agency aka the agency that I’ve been following for many many MANYYYY years now bc a lot of my favorite artists have come out of it…. Wow what is this fate)

And special recognition goes to Im Hyung-bin aka one of the 18 yr old genius guitarists bc he … oh my…. He frking became the pianist and singer by the end of the show…. Omfg… yall.. HE is also another infinitely talented soul. AND HES EXTRA FRKING YOUNG…

Besides these two though, there were many many many manyyyyy other people as well that took up multiple instruments throughout the show, or even began singing, or just did EVERYTHING….I was so mindblown by this, im still honestly not over it at all.

Because like, is this normal?? Isn’t that so unprofessional?? Its already so crazy that this show already starts us off with NON-amateur musicians and artists. But then some of these dudes have never done any other things formally before they got thrown into it; they came into this show “specializing” in something completely different, yet they jump onto the stage and do what they needed to, HELLA FRKING WELL…… so many of these dudes, you wouldn’t know that was his first time playing the bass, playing the drums, first time playing that piano, or first time being on the keyboard AND being a vocal, you wouldn’t know any of that unless they mentioned it, unless you watched the show and saw their story.

Because they all pulled it off THAT well.. these people that did these things for the first time ever while being on Superband, they executed their roles so well and showcased such wonderfully exhilarating talent…. IM SO BLESSED TO HAVE DISCOVERED SUCH AMAZING ARTISTS….

That was one of the biggest feats of Superband for me. The limitless talent that came out of it. I LOVE watching people like this. Their passion for music fuels such undeniable skill and fervor, and when they step onto that stage, they are literally unstoppable. They made music that stopped my time, stopped my heart, in the moment, but literally MOVED me...i applaud these people so much. I really do.

Thinking back to it now, the number of stages that came out of this show was like…. Countless…. Like… A LOT…. Since episode 1, each stage was very well-produced and I truly enjoyed watching each one from the start. This show was just so jampacked overall, although I admit that sometimes it was arduous due to the GRIND that these people were on, presenting stage after stage after stage, and then listening to LOTS of feedback from almost each judge over and over and over, but it was still nothing short of musical masterpieces out there. I really appreciate how STUFFED, how FILLED TO THE BRIM, this show was with dynamic, enjoyable, exceptional performances (and words of valuable opinions & evaluations, too)

I can re-watch many of them, every day, for days on end. I loved it. And can we just talk about how impressive these dudes are for pulling off something new, for taking on a brand-new challenge with a brand-new set of members, time and time again, stage after stage, week after week, until we came down to the 6 solid bands in the last 3 episodes? They constantly had to work with new people, match their music preferences, fill spaces in their music where they didn’t exactly have someone they may have needed. They had to compensate, compromise, and ultimately DELIVER, at the end of it all. Multiple times. I don’t even remember how many rounds they did… was it 4? I think they had 4 rounds of eliminations before they settled into their official bands. But still... its crazy impressive to think about how driven and flexible a lot of these artists were, to be creating, producing & then performing despite all the different teams they were getting put into week after week.

ANDDDDDD, despite all the odds up against them like the time crunch, the new collab of members each time, the potential lack of a missing instrument or sound, SO many of these teams still came out with self-written and self-produced songs!!!!!!! I mean, even for the cover songs alone, many were already re-arranging everything & basically turning them into new tracks. BUT WITH THOSE SELF COMPOSED SONGS??????????? Some teams literally started from scratch each time, but busted out some amazing tunes and lyrics and executed very very very impressive stages and IM JUST AKFJAKJFKJBSN how…. Are they….. so…. Talented…… I still ask myself each time.

By far, the combo that took my heart and kept it for good….. LUCY ;_______;. I never expected to like Juhyeok’s voice tbh, it was a little TOO weird for me in the beginning… but watching him perform with Yechan and Gwang-il and Wonsang really brought to life his vocal potential for me… that team is literally a combination made in heaven, they have all the right pieces to make ARTWORK… their signature sound was so prominent from the very beginning and i was SO HAPPY when I saw that they stuck to the same exact members once the finale came around.

Before the winner was announced, I told myself very honestly that I didn’t even care who won because the two teams left over, Hoppipolla & Lucy, were already my two all-time favorite combinations of artists from the entire show, and I was already MORE than satisfied with all the wonderful music and stages that everyone had delivered up until that point anyway. But even with that, I was still thoroughly shocked when they announced Hoppipolla as the winning band LOL I gasped aloud. I thought that Lucy at least had a chance. Or like I guess, in my heart, I assumed that Lucy actually won.. LOL but they didn’t.

And in terms of the finale in general, I really would also like to address how I purposely tried really hard to avoid any spoilers and rewatching of performances on youtube before actually finishing the entire series. I tried like reallyyyyy hard, because I wanted to watch the program as thoroughly as possible without spoilers. I HATE SPOILERS. But oh the irony. It was in all in vain anyway.

Once I finally DID finish all 14 episodes, when trying to look for more information/reactions/articles/videos (initially searching in English), I actually struggled SO HARD LMAOOOO bc there was like NOTHING OUT THERE……..i should have known better; this show was definitely NOT catered to the intl. audience (yet?), especially because its in its first season still. There were probably like 2 articles max in English about Superband & it was just about its upcoming premier. Nothing about winners nor results nor anything else i was wary of, anyway. LOLLL THE INTL COMMUNITY DOESN’T CARE; or at least the intl population that DOES care about Superband, is probably reallyyyyyy small……a reddit thread I found was the most substantial discussion I could find, comprised of a few comments max.

And so that brings me to how I always see a lot of comments begging for English subs and everything, but honestly…….. all I have to say to yall is: LEARN KOREAN IF YOU REALLY WANT TO WATCH THE SHOW THAT BADLY !!!

If after all these years, I could pick up Korean to an extent where I can watch things raw, im sure others can do the same as long as they put their mind to it. Ive been really appreciating how far my skills have taken me LOL not trying to be THAT person, but I just know that if I COULDN’T read or listen & comprehend or type in Korean like I can now, I would be missing out on a WORLD of amazing stuff. E.g. superband. And if anything, I would like to think that this show helped me practice my vocab skills a lot more. Listening to the judges’ evals after each stage was really enjoyable: I learned plenty of valuable words out of THEIR words.

This show was phenomenal in that all the contestants had total musical freedom. It was soOOOOO refreshing to watch. They got to choose all their music & their teammates in a fair manner (maybe not so much their competition), but seeing them take their passions & what THEY wanted to do with music and laying that all out onto the stage, was so compelling!!! This freedom allowed for countless, ICONIC AF transformations and growth journeys for soooo many of the artists too!!!! I really realllyyyyyyyy loved watching some of them stepping WAYYYY outside of their comfort zones / the image that they originally came in with (e.g. HONG ISAAC HAAAAHAHHA, Jisang, Hyunsang!!), and also watching alllllll those multitalented “scam characters”!!! HAHAHA, without this program being as open as it was, it would’ve been impossible to be able to see such a myriad of sides to so many different people. I appreciate, I really do.

And I really really realllyyyy enjoyed watching all the behind the scenes of each performance as well!! Of course, its normal to give viewers some background story before each stage, but in Superband, we got to see some very raw sides of music-making….. these dudes literally lived like hobos in the recording studios, all disheveled and sleep-deprived human beans, but ceaselessly making music because that’s what they love. I liked watching teams try out a lot of different songs & styles as they searched for THE right one. And then we got to see the final result on stage after the countless discussions and trials behind the scenes. And these processes repeated for months on end. All the contestants are so commendable in this right. The grind was real, and the show didn’t try to hide that. I enjoyed this very realistic approach !!

At this point, after drowning myself in this show for a few days straight… (those episodes are LONGGGGG, close to two hrs each) ive literally spent every night, and basically day, too, watching all the cuts that jtbc uploaded on youtube over and over and oVERRRRR….. ive also been watching some Superband concert clips, from when the entire final 6 bands went on a domestic tour and performed together for several concerts!!

THAT OPENING STAGE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! BLESS THOSE PEOPLE THAT CAUGHT IT ON CAMERA BECAUSE IT IS LITERALLY SUCH A PIECE OF MUSICAL HEAVEN, omfg the energy on that stage IS SOMETHING ELSE… IF I WERE THERE IN PERSON I PROBABLY WOULDVE CRIED INSTANTLY……. lee juhyeok, kevin oh, chae bohoon, im hyeongbin, kim youngso, ha hyunsang, lee chansol, and kim woosung, all the guitarists/ vocalists lined up in the front… (hearing each vocalist sing a line each made my HEART HURT....I LOVE THEM SM) then the bassists, lee jonghoon, kim hyungwoo, kim hajin, jo wonsang, clustered up AND HAVIN A TIME all by themselves, and the three epic electric guitarists, yang jiwan, kim junhyeob, and Zairo, literally held SUCH stage presence… on the drums: kang kyungyoon all the way to the right, and red haired hwang minjae in the middle, and the super in-sync, traditional drum banging bois, choi youngjin, shin gwang-il, a-il, & jung gwanghyun, all 4 of them bouncing up and down in the back like intense oompa loompas LOL THEY LOOKED SO CUTE, and the string bois!!!!! Shin yechan & benji on the violin next to hong jinho on the cello; yechan and benji started off sitting down but as the song goes on they literally WENT AT IT HAHAHA as expected of two of the most high-energy musicians. On the piano, lee na-woo, the classic icon himself starting off the entire intro, and next to him hong isaac the transformation legend himself on the keyboard + his super distinctive voice!!!!!! And of course, d-pole with his much-expected little music break in the middle….. in fact many of them got ICONIC solo time: kang kyungyoon’s drumming part, kim hyungwoo’s super duper solid bass, minjae’s powerful beats, kim hajin’s LOUD ass bass, lee jonghoon’s legendary slap finger bass playing, jo wonsang’s super ting-y, classic bass section, and yang jiwan’s loud ASS ELEC GUITAR TOO, omg they were all so cute, pointing to each member & hyping them up as it was their few seconds to shine….AND THOSE COLLECTIVE VOICES???? HEARING ALL THE VOCALISTS SING TOGETHER ONE BY ONE… OH my gosh it was soooooo GOOOODDDDDDD.... just watching all those dudes literally have THE TIME OF THEIR LIFE on stage (literally an ADVENTURE OF A LIFETIME), the energy was off the charts… I loveeeeee seeing them so happy, making eye contact with each other, jumping up & down, rocking out, laughing with each other, all while playing their instrument, so fervently, all 27 people on the stage, connected by one song…. Theres SO MUCH OVERFLOW of talent in one freaking place, that song sounded SO MASSIVE just thru the video I cant imagine….. if I were actually there omfg… that’s an actual BAND Like A HUGE FRKING BAND… AHHHHHHHHHH a really legendary stage.. the finest of finest……I can literally watch this opening on repeat without getting bored because I just loveeeee the concept of all of them being together like that :”)))

After watching member after member, team after team get eliminated, seeing them like this on one stage with such happy expressions and making a beautiful piece of music like that o MANNNNNN…. This show…… has really done something to me…

I appreciate every contestant SO MUCH and I wish I could watch everyone be together FOREVER….because knowing how artistically talented each person is on their own, to watch them join together is like the avengers times 72737446352 or something, its just talent & skill plus talent & skill stacked onto even more skill & talents and just an INFINITE amount of potential AND THAT…IS LITERALLY.. THE POWER…. OF A BAND………and of great ass music.

This show was GENIUS TO combine so many musicians from so many different backgrounds…but watching them work together to make pure art, that is so frking rewarding and heartwarming and I feel so blessed to have witnessed it all.

The genres and potential were literally limitless……I think this is what encompassed Superband for me, this is what made me enjoy it SO damn much…. I think ive finally run out of things to say… this piece of text is quite a mess, not very polished….. but I was hasty in recording my thoughts & emotions before they left me, so I tried my best.

My biggest regret with this show is that I didn’t watch it sooner. (what is really ironic is that it took me FOREVER to start the first ep, despite having tonssss of time on my hands... I had it open on one of my tabs for the longest time, but I lowkey grudgingly, eventually, forced myself to finally start it LOL..(thank god I rly did tho) I watched it 2 months after the finale, which is… kinda late? If I had watched it while it was airing, all while I was still in korea, I feel like I would’ve been EVEN MORE in love, even more fervent and passionate about everything. Digging thru old vids & watching things from contestants before they came out onto the show, seeing the artists they were, I could’ve easily gone and seen them myself probably… goddamnit I probably could’ve gone to the superband finale live show, if I had known.. I COULDVE VOTED IN REAL TIME... not that I could’ve brought myself to do it anyway, probably lol….. but basically, if I had known of this show WHILE I was there with them… I don’t know, I could’ve been a lot more active as a fan, I feel like..

Now im back to my original roots: crying in front of my laptop screen and tap-tapping away at my keyboard as a I rant to no one but myself. Being in korea made my appreciation for all kinds of artists, all my beloved ones, EVERYONE, a lot more tangible.. but being back in America… it all becomes hidden into the depths of my heart, once again…

PHEW……I think now is a good time to mention my favorite stages… as I mentioned before, the Lucy AND pre-Lucy lineup will always hold a really special place in my heart so basically all my faves include their stages LOL

‘Swim’ cover by LUCY(신예찬, 이주혁, 신광일, 조원상)

‘Hold Back The River’ cover by 신예찬, 이주혁, 신광일

‘Adventure of a Lifetime’ cover by 조원상, 김영소, 이강호, 임형빈

‘누구 없소’ cover by 케빈오, 박찬영, 신광일, 강경윤

‘선잠’ by LUCY

'Castle on the Hill’ cover by 아일, 하현상, 노마드, 홍진호

‘1000x’ cover by 아일, 하현상, 홍진호, 김형우

‘One More Light’ cover by HOPPIPOLLA(아일, 하현상, 홍진호, 김영소)

‘Cry Bird’ cover by LUCY

‘Viva La Vida’ cover by 하현상, 홍진호, 김영소

‘Flare’ by LUCY

‘Find You Again’ by People on the Bridge(이찬솔, 임형빈, 김준협, 강경윤, 김형우)

My favorite funny moments:

“이게 무슨 짓이야!!?” - mellow kitchen (the stealing of the 3 kiddo guitarists)

“okay let’s be honest, you can’t even hear the bass” - shin hyunbin 2k19

울보 팀

Hyunsang’s fam: 아일 the mom, 홍진호 the dad, 김형우 the hyung

“idk if im allowed to say this but it looked like zombie movie” - yoon jongshin, as they all gathered around the cello man

“I thought to myself, isn’t that cello expensive tho..” - yoon jongshin as youngso slapped & tapped jinho’s cello for percussion

Ah-il’s iconic castle on the hill pose

Zairo’s luck with member choosing lmao

HONG ISAK’S DANCING in ‘Time of My Life’ LOLLL IT GETS ME LAUGHING EACH TIMEEE (& all his nicknames, like eungalchi lmaooo)

Benji’s “YO-RO-BOON HAM-KAY HEY-YO” during ‘Woo-ing’

Gwanghyun’s “do-doom-tak”

Gwanghyun calling Gwang-il’s drum skills equivalent to that of a middle school band’s LOLLLL

**I watched Mone’s radio appearance on Arirang Radio where Benji is the host, and they were an absolute MESS LMAOOOOOO THEY WERE HONESTLY ALL REALLY FUNNY THOUGH.. they kept roasting the crap out of each other and laughing their asses off and man… it was gr8 time and it was really cute to discover that Hong Isaac is now a part of one of Benji’s radio shows too!

One important question I have for this show though: where tf did all the females go? Why was there no female presence at all in this show, I have no clue…… :/

At the end of the day, this show reminded me once again, how to feel happy and excited because of music. how to let great music fill my life with undeniable joy. Being able to look forward to listening to these songs every day, definitely had lifted a small part of me that has been down for all too long. I really appreciate, I am very grateful for, I just… im so thankful to have discovered this show & all its wonderful masterpieces & the beautifully, magically, PASSIONATE artists behind it all………. I needed this in my life at this point in time, I really did.

Thank you for coming to be, Superband.

#kmusic #jtbc #superband #super band #슈퍼밴드 #rant #;________;#a real ass rant #SUPER LOVE FOR SUPER BAND #anyone else that has watched this plz share ur thoughts

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borkingbarnes · 4 years

Text

50 questions!

Thank you for the tag @buckyland! You are literally the softest angel and I have mega amounts of love for you. 💗💗

Putting a Keep Reading bar bc its a lil long aha

1. What is the colour of your hairbrush? Black and red. Though I can't really brush my hair bc brushed out wavy/curly hair = hella frizz :/

2. Name a food you never ever eat. Olives, bell peppers, Brussel sprouts.

3. Are you typically too warm or too cold? Too cold. Always too cold, considering I live in a barren wasteland.

4. What were you doing 45 minutes ago? jamming out in the shower lol

5. What is your favourite candy bar? Hershey’s cookies and cream 😍

6. Have you ever been to a professional sports game? I think a professional hockey game when I was in elementary??

7. What is the last thing you said out loud? “what the fuck is this shit?” (directed at my final exam review)

8. What is your favourite ice cream? Vanilla or oreo!

9. What was the last thing you had to drink? Cofy. 💜

10. Do you like your wallet? Yes!! It was a gift from Christmas!

11. What was the last thing you ate? a singular sunflower seed that was on my desk lol

12. Did you buy any new clothes last weekend? No, I’m not a huge fan of buying clothes if I can't try it on first. However... this hoodie from UO is speaking to me but its so. frickin. expensive.

13. The last sporting event you watched? I think a men’s semi-finals volleyball match against UBC that hosted at my uni years ago? I had a huge crush on our setter at the time LOL

14. What is your favorite flavor of popcorn? butter or caramel.

15. Who is the last person you sent a text message to? A text to my bf ranting about how the government will only allow me to get 1 month of BC at a time (before you could get 3-6 months worth at a time), which is fucked bc it just means more trips out??

16. Ever go camping? Yes!! Hoping to go this summer if everything clears up by then.

17. Do you take vitamins? Occasionally, if I open the cupboard and see it. But only the fruity chewable ones bc they're yummy lol

18. Do you go to church every Sunday? No. But my one of my friends does and he was supposed to send in a video of him playing some song for his church’s Easter service bc he’s got a degree in music and just overall v good at his instrument. His brother streaked through in the background of said video. He still sent it in. The church played it for the service. akljsldkj

19. Do you have a tan? No, she long faded :(

20. Do you prefer Chinese food over pizza? yes. 100% yes. gimme some of that good good sweet and sour pork ANY day.

21. Do you drink your soda with a straw? I don't drink soda lol

22. What color socks do you usually wear? Those multicoloured Puma ones which everyone has that you can get in a bundle from Costco are all I wear 😂

23. Do you ever drive above the speed limit? I usually go like 5 km/h above?

24. What terrifies you? Failure, not getting anywhere in life, being trapped, losing my mom and grandparents, got reaching my goals.

25. Look to your left, what do you see? The disarray that is my unmade bed

26. What chore do you hate most? Dishes.

27. What do you think of when you hear an Australian accent? lol its terrible but they could literally be saying anything but my brain will immediately go “DEOWN UNDAHH”

28. What’s your favorite soda? I don't like soda, but will on a rare occasion take a sip of coke or sprite if my bf is drinking it.

29. Do you go in a fast food place or just hit the drive? Drive-thru 100%. I will avoid humans as much as possible lol that and im too lazy to get out of the car most of the time 😅

30. What is your favourite number? 8, 38!

31. Who’s the last person you talked to? Like face to face? I guess me mum?

32. Favourite cut of beef? T-bone 😍

33. Last song you listened to? Atlas - Luke Christopher (very fitting for the current times if you ask me, and just overall one of my all time favs.)

34. Last book you read? The mind-numbing bullshit that is my textbook.

35. Favourite day of the week? Saturdaze

36. Can you say the alphabet backwards? No. I have 1 braincell, and she is not able to complete such an extensive task.

37. How do you like your coffee? A good old double double if hot, but I quite enjoy a vanilla iced cofy.

38. Favourite pair of shoes? My black Nike running shoes in general, my black Timberlands in winter, and my black suede Chelsea boots for a more dressy look! (I enjoy wearing the colour black if you couldn't tell😂)

39. The time you normally get up? If I don't have any obligations: 10:30-11:30 😅

40. What do you prefer, sunrise or sunsets? Give me ALL the sunsets.

41. How many blankets on your bed? 3. I am a cold, cold child.

42. Describe your kitchen plates. White, square ones?

43. Describe your kitchen at the moment? Littered with papers and writing utensils because my brother does his homework at the dinner table

44. Do you have a favourite alcoholic drink? Caesars with Walter’s caesar mix 😍😍 Daiquiris are also yum! AND PINA COLADAS.

45. Do you play cards? I play uno almost everyday on my phone LOL (hit me up if you wanna play together!!)

46. What colour is your car? Gray

47. Can you change a tire? I don’t think so? Though I know the basics?

48. Your favourite state? Tranquil. At peace. Basically how I feel when I’m floating on my back in water with the sun on my face. If its US states then I haven't been too too many, but I absolutely adored Florida because of DisneyWorld. I also have some really good memories in Illinois

49. Favourite job you’ve had? I still have this job but a vet assistant!

50. How did you get your biggest scar? lol. ha im embarrassed. buckle up and prepare for story time. it’s kinda gory(?) so don't read if you don't like that stuff!!

Box jumps in high school (we had a proper actual gym with weights and machines and stuff). I took my glasses off (idk why I decided to workout in glasses instead of contacts?) bc they kept sliding down every time I jumped. Mind you my prescription is like -5.50 and I have astigmatism so my depth perception is like non-existent without some sort of corrective lenses. But my half blind, non depth perceiving ass was like eh how bad can it be? Well it was VERY bad!! I completely misjudged how high I needed to jump (the box was on the highest side) and basically slammed my shin against the edge of the box (its wooden and very solid!!) and the weight of the rest of my body plus gravity caused my shin to dig and scrape against the edge of the box v deep on the way down. Idk if it was bone or what but there was definitely something flat and whitish in the deepest part?? Nothing broken luckily, but it hurt like a bitch. Found a first aid kit and bandaged myself up and limped around the whole day. Years later, there's still a longish scar and it’s indented along it.

I also have a fading but quite large scar from road burn when my friend decided it would be funny to push me super fast just out of the blue while I was sitting on a skateboard and not stop me when I started teetering. I was wearing shorts and basically scraped my thigh and part of my butt against concrete. It was painful as fuck and didnt heal for a long time bc it was such a large surface area. I was P I S S E D.

lol thanks for reading if you’ve gotten this far! Tagging some beautiful peeps if y'all want: @evanstar @fightmewiatch @jalapenobarnes @buckthegrump @tropicalcap @sgtjbuccky

#tag game

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hermannsthumb · 5 years

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Can we have bad boy! Newt loving the shit out of geek! Hermann? Like a grease au?

and this ask i got a liiiiittle while ago…

Anonymous said: Greaser!Newt is so perfect because Hermann is a shy, sensitive sweetheart with a horrible, horrible father, and greaser!Newt is a bad boy rebel with a heart of gold who will rescue Hermann from his terrible father

( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ask and ye shall receive…..takin another little study break to write this….. for @newts-geiszler bc i love her and also we were talking about this in our dms earlier……have some “50s but they dont suck” au where newt and hermann are like in community college or something in a Small Town (so grease but not high school lol)

Hermann’s not sure what he did to gain the attentions of someone like Newton Geiszler–to be cursed with the attentions of someone like Newton Geiszler–but for the first time in his life, Hermann is grateful for them. Newton is obnoxious. He’s loud. He’s grimy. He’s tattooed. When he’s not pestering Hermann while they’re meant to be doing lab work, he’s tinkering on that ridiculous motorcycle of his, or he’s terrorizing the streets with it, or he’s screeching along to his guitar, or he’s kicking his muddy boots up on tabletops or tossing his leather jacket over chairs or–generally, making an undesirable nuisance of himself. He’s everything Hermann hates, wrapped up in one convenient scruffy, stocky little package.

More importantly, he’s everything Hermann’s father hates.

Which is why he’s perfect.

Hermann finds Newton lounging at a booth in the back of the diner–boots kicked up like usual, hair slicked back, shirtsleeves rolled up–and staring off into space as he downs a milkshake. When Hermann slams his cane on the linoleum floor and says “Newton,” Newton jumps and chokes on the milkshake and nearly knocks his glass over.

“Hermann?” he says, coughing, and blinking in bewilderment. He scrambles into a proper sitting position and adjusts his thick eyeglasses, as if he can’t believe Hermann’s really standing in front of him.

“Last week,” Hermann says, “you invited me out to go dancing.” Multiple times, in fact. Hermann can admire his persistence.

Newton adjusts his glasses again. “Uh,” he says. “Yeah. I did.”

Hermann grits his teeth a moment before he continues. “If you’re amenable, and the offer still stands–”

“Yes!” Newton blurts out, face splitting into a wide grin, and–in his excitement–upends a salt shaker into his lap. “I mean,” he says, clumsily picking it up and brushing himself off, “yeah, that’s–” He runs his fingers through his greased hair. A little curl falls forward. He shrugs. “Sure.”

Hermann doesn’t buy Newton’s indifference for one second, but he doesn’t say anything, lets him have his little act. (That morning, Newton was almost begging Hermann to let him carry his books to his next class.) “This Friday,” Hermann says. “Come over to my house at six exactly. We’ll have dinner first.”

Newton’s smile returns, considerably…dopier. “Dinner,” he repeats. “You sure you don’t just wanna come here? I’ll buy you whatever–”

“No,” Hermann says quickly. Newton shuts his mouth. “It has to be my house.”

Newton nods.

“Six exactly, Newton.”

“Should I–” Newton runs his fingers through his hair again, considerably more nervous. “Should I wear something nice? If I’m meeting your folks and all.”

Hermann looks over Newton’s messy hair, his week-old stubble, his crooked (partially broken) eyeglasses, his creased leather jacket, his cuffed and stained jeans, the outrageous ink that swirls over his forearms, the smudges of motor grease on his shirt and neck. Hermann shakes his head and smiles serenely. “No,” he says. “As you are is perfect, Newton.”

“Keen,” Newton says, beaming away back at him.

Hermann has ulterior motives, of course. There are no other circumstances in which he would willingly invite Newton Geiszler into his household. Lately, Hermann’s father has been even more controlling and infuriating than usual, and–it’s juvenile to want revenge, Hermann knows, he’s freshly done with his teenage years, his time for rebellion has come and gone–but Newton’s just the type to get perfectly under Father’s skin. Especially if Father thinks they’re dating. He’ll take one look at Newton’s tattoos and his motorcycle–when Newton shows up half an hour late to their routine five-thirty dinner–and–well–Hermann can’t wait to see his expression.

And it’s not dishonest to Newton. He gets a date with Hermann out of it, something he’s been begging for for months. Years. Since Hermann moved to America and they got paired together as lab partners and Newton took an odd shine to him. He’s doing Newton just as much of a favor, even if he doesn’t remotely intend to put out. (Which is what he’s sure Newton’s after. That’s what all his type–loud, rebellious, swaggering–are only ever after.)

To Hermann’s dismay, on Friday evening Newton shows up on his front porch at five-thirty exactly in significantly less filthy jeans, bearing a bouquet of flowers that he thrusts at Hermann the moment he opens the door. “I’m sorry, man,” he leads with. “I know I’m early–”

“No,” Hermann sighs, and accepts the flowers glumly. They’re beautiful, unfortunately. “You’re right on time, damn you.” Newton didn’t even ride the motorcycle. He just walked.

To Hermann’s further dismay, dinner doesn’t go anywhere nearly as badly as he hoped. It doesn’t go smoothly, not by any means–Father blanches wonderfully when he sees the tattoos and the state of Newton’s hair, and even further when Hermann explains that Newton lives on the other (“bad”) side of town, and things become tense when Newton talks about the possibility of space aliens for five solid minutes and follows it up with a rousing endorsement of socialism–but there’s no yelling, no chairs thrown halfway across the room, no demands that Newton leave the house at once and never return. Newton does not leap from the table and call Father a capitalist fascist pig. He doesn’t talk about his latest dissections in excruciating detail. He deflects all of Hermann’s desperate attempts to ignite one of their usual petty arguments. He doesn’t even put his boots up on the table (and Hermann even made sure to set out the good tablecloth).

When he and Newton set off, Hermann makes sure, at least, to inform his father he hasn’t the slightest idea of when they’ll be getting home and that they shouldn’t bother waiting up for them, and hopes that the implications of debauchery and Newton ravishing him in the backseat of some car on lover’s lane haven’t gone right over his head. Newton holds tight to Hermann’s arm the entire walk to the dance hall and blabbers on endlessly, about how good dinner was and how he can’t cook “for shit”, how cool the evening’s gotten, some probably-illicit experiments he’s doing in his uncle’s garage, if Hermann saw that new film about the giant insects from outer space (or something along those lines), how excited he is that Hermann finally agreed to go on a date with him, how nice Hermann looks, how handsome he is, how his sweater brings out his eyes, how he hopes he likes the flowers (he grew them himself, in his uncle’s backyard), and not once does he mention how dreadful Hermann’s father is, not once does he try to get fresh with Hermann like Hermann expected, not once does he appear anything less than entirely enthusiastic to simply walk next to Hermann.

Hermann…does not know what to think.

When they reach the dance hall, Hermann finds a spot against the wall on the outskirts where he intends to wait until Newton’s decided he’s had his fill and takes Hermann back home. (Hermann can dance, but it can be difficult and strenuous on his leg, so he prefers not to.) But rather than separating from Hermann immediately to dance and mingle with the rest of the young and stylish and hip (and probably find someone easier to score with than Hermann), Newton follows him and sticks tight at his side. “You don’t have to,” Hermann assures him. “Really, Newton. Go off. Enjoy yourself.”

“I am enjoying myself,” Newton says, smiling. “Anyway, what kind of a lousy date would I be if I ditched you?” He starts swaying along to the music of the band on the stage, hands shoved in the pockets of his leather jacket. “So you really didn’t see Them?”

Hermann shakes his head slowly.

“It’s playing at the drive-in this weekend,” Newton says. “I could take you tomorrow night.” He goes pink. “Only if you want to, I mean.”

Something strange stirs in Hermann’s chest. He evades the question. “On your bike?”

“My old man’ll let me borrow his car,” Newton says. “He knows how I–that you–” He blushes harder. Hermann stares at the floor. “Nevermind. Uh.”

To Hermann’s utter surprise, he has a good time with Newton. Newton’s running commentary on everything from his experiments (which Hermann has decided are absolutely illicit) to the music (which Newton enjoys, even if it is a bit slow) eventually becomes entertaining rather than merely bearable. He fetches Hermann drinks whenever he wants. He keeps complimenting Hermann, too, as he had on the walk over. He even manages to coerce Hermann out onto the dance floor during a particularly slow song, and if Hermann settles his head against Newton’s sturdy chest and allows Newton to wrap his arms round his waist as they sway together, it’s only because it’s the proper way to dance with one’s date.

Newton lends him his jacket for the walk back home, since Hermann looked cold, apparently, and it’s both too-short and too-big at the same time. It smells like Newton, hair grease and sweat and cologne that Newton, earlier, confessed he stole from his father for the night, and Hermann draws it tight around himself as he listens to Newton chat away happily.

Guilt builds steadily in his gut.

“Did you have fun?” Newton suddenly says. “I had so much fun.”

They’ve reached Hermann’s front gate, and they come to a stop just outside it. He supposes he’ll have to say goodnight to Newton, now. That’s the proper date procedure. Will Newton ask him on another one? Will he try to kiss Hermann? Will he ask to come inside? But Newton does none of those things; he simply stands there, watching Hermann. Waiting for him to make a move. Hermann chews his lip. “Newton,” he says.

“Yeah?” Newton looks so happy, damn him.

“I didn’t–” Hermann taps his finger on the head of his cane nervously. “I haven’t been entirely fair to you. You should know–”

“–that you only asked me out to piss off your old man?” Newton finishes, not losing his smile. “Hermann. I’m not an idiot.”

Hermann supposes he should be embarrassed about being found out that easily, or mortified, or ashamed, or a whole host of other entirely appropriate emotions, but instead he just feels irritated. “If you knew, then why in the hell didn’t you play along?” he exclaims. Newton can pick fights with Hermann every day of the week, but not the one time it really matters. “You were positively civil!”

“Look, don’t get me wrong,” Newton says, and snorts derisively. “He’s a total fucking square, man, and I would’ve loved to, but–” He shrugs, and grins a little sheepishly. “It was nice pretending that you wanted to be my guy and go dancing with me, even for just a night. I’ve never gone on a date before or anything like that. I really did have fun.”

Hermann’s irritation fades back into guilt, with a healthy dose of embarrassment and mortification and shame this time. “I’m sorry,” he sighs. “I’ve misjudged you very badly, Newton.”

Newton waves his hand. “And I screwed up your plan. We’re even.”

They stare at each other. Hermann’s not sure why he’s not yet opened his front gate–Newton, obviously, does not expect another date, nor a kiss, certainly not an invitation inside. Hermann reaches for the gate. Then he stops, pulls away. “Er,” he says. “There’s that film tomorrow night. The one you like. With the–ah–the insects. We could always…”

He does not finish his proposal, but he does not need to. Newton is beaming, and it’s shy, and sweet, and–it’s hard to tell for certain, in just the moonlight, but–his blush has returned. (Newton is loud, and messy, and obnoxious, but he is also intelligent, and funny, and very, very good-looking.) “I’ll lay on the horn for five minutes when I pick you up,” Newton says. “Stomp through your front garden, too. I’ll be a regular delinquent, Hermann, your old man’ll be forbidding you to see me by next Tuesday.”

The thought excites Hermann more than he anticipated–Newton, the no-good town delinquent, stealing away with Hermann for what can only be scandalous purposes. “I don’t doubt it,” Hermann says. He casts a glance up at his house, and the houses surrounding; all the lights are turned off, meaning everyone’s likely turned in for the night, but… “Kissing me goodnight in full view of the neighbors certainly wouldn’t help our case.”

“Oh,” Newton squeaks, and then he agrees, very enthusiastically.

#newmann #maria's fanfiction tag #GOD this one is long as shit i didnt intend for this #Anonymous #greaser newt au

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couldnt-think-of-a-funny-name · 6 years

Note

Okay I also have so many Thoughts on Rise so if you want someone to rant to, I’m definitely here lol

My official Thoughts™

Okay so first off I’m pleasantly surprised I didn’t hate it as much as I was expecting? Lol I didn’t wanna watch at all because it seemed too dramatic, like something I would’ve eaten up in high school but I’m too tired to deal with these days. But my mom made me watch it with her and it definitely wasn’t as bad as I expected lol

What…was UP with the camera work????? I was loosing my mind over it omfg. Sometimes normal, sometimes shaky, and we had like three or four dramatic documentary zoom-ins ala Parks and Rec or the Office??? Why was that happening??? They were all in dramatic moments but it was so fucking funny I couldn’t handle it.

SPEAKING OF WHICH, when the coach asked ‘are you a teacher or a director’ and Josh Radnor was like ‘well, both’ and then it zoomed in on the coach as he cut off ‘Actually, no, you’re a teacher’. Like. That was clearly supposed to be dramatic but it was PEAK comedic timing. My mom and I were cackling we almost missed the rest of the scene omfg

That principal is a mess??? Giving one dude the drama department just because he doesn’t like the other teacher, and then???? Approving the show before he READ it???? Allowing a coach to try to bribe a kid’s bad grade away???? What in the Lord

What….is with the troupe….of the Athlete having to pick sports or theater. Like literally what is that. It happens too often and I’ve never? Seen it happen in real life? Like I know you can’t apply your life experiences to everyone else’s but as someone who also went to a sports crazy high school in small town PA like….the senior sports™ boys went out for the musical every year??? Like every year there’d be at least 7 or 8 football or basketball or literally whatever players that were like ‘You know the fuck what, I’m a senior, I’m doing a musical now’ lmao. It was never dramatic or anything. Being in a play isn’t going to ruin someone’s sports career

Okay so auditioning for a musical…doesn’t….work….as extra credit??? They wanted his grade raised and he wanted the kid in the show. The actual play the musical is based on has been picked apart and analyzed as a piece of literature so many times….so I could see “If he does my musical and writes a report on the play, I’ll give him extra credit” or something to that effect but just. ‘Audition and all your Problems will go away’. Lord What.

WE’RE GONNA TALK ABOUT THIS SIMON KID.

Okay. Okay. The kid…is stereotypical ‘gay high schooler’ and we all damn well know that. Not my complaint. The thing was, bumping him down from Melchior to HANSCHEN made it SEEM like he was only getting cast as Hanschen because he’s The Gay™, because frankly, considering they were struggling to find boys, I would’ve initially put him as Moritz, from the brief scenes it seems like he could handle Moritz’s songs??? Moritz is the third lead and like, the fan favorite character, you’d wanna cast him pretty quick. And THEN they bust out he has a ““““““Very Religious”““““ family, like….really. Really. We’re doing that. Okay. Fine then. I can sit here and pretend I’ve actually met a homophobic Catholic person before if they’re at least gonna handle this well. But THEN. THEN. OKAY. We got that trailer for the full season at the end of the show and the kid playing Ernst said ‘Do you feel something when you’re with me’ and now….I see exactly what they’re doing….They’re having this kid play Hanschen while in real life he’s going to be in an Ernst-like situation….That’s so fucking cheesy and I haven’t yet fully decided how I feel about it??? I’m already tired tho. Anyway if someone hurts that boy I’m gonna go down to NBC with a baseball bat and start swinging. I can get in no problem. Just making that known.

Auli’i Cravalho….,,,we Stan

Her plot line seems a little muddled and Peak Dramatic right now but that scene near the end with her mother???? GIRL. KILL THEM.

Listen idk who the hell is playing the football player (Robbie was it?) but I already love him with my entire heart but like….the scene where he just started rapping at the pep rally….no one Does That lmao. Although I appreciate that he’s a lot less conflicted about joining the show than other athletes caught in this troupe before him? He was a little hesitant but it wasn’t Over The Top (looking at you, Troy Bolton). He seems really cute tho. I was Worried when he started rapping ‘All That’s Known’ but then he slid into actually singing and he was so good!!

LMAO when they were doing the song montage and all they could do for ‘Totally Fucked’ was “BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH” I was cracking up

I liked that they appear to have established the football player is into the shy girl BEFORE they do the show. Like, it’s still cliché as all hell, but at least it’s not like ‘I never noticed you were pretty or a cool person before the stage lights were on you’ type deal bc that’s exhausting.

My mom was cracking up when Simon was telling his Religious Parents™ about the show at the dinner table aasdfgh like yet another clearly intended to be dramatic scene turned funny by the camera work and editing but also like it was so….like my mom isn’t familiar with Spring Awakening itself but she’s familiar with a lot of other ~~~edgy~~~ shows bc I’ve either been in them or gotten her to see them with me and like. I’ve worked in and on shows with kids who’s parents were SUPER against the shows material and the roles their kids played but no one ever like….stopped their kids from doing it??? And like his parents being against the stuff in the play is like….the Point of the play? And also if he already knows the script he’s already been Exposed to it, so it’s not like keeping him out of the show is gonna keep him pure or whatever?? Idk I really just don’t get why they’re bothering with that plotline tbh

Rosie Perez is always so over the top and I am always so okay with it

On that same branch though like…I know Josh Radnor loves giving impassioned speeches…but who….talks like that? Lol. Just everything he said sounded like they were trying to hard for that Big Dreamer Life Changer Teacher troupe you know???

Listen I GET why that one girl would be mad because she usually gets the leads but also….Ilse….has the better songs???? Like if someone cast me as Ilse I’d fucking cry I literally want to get a tattoo for the ‘I Don’t Do Sadness’ song bc it fucks with me so much lmao. ALSO…..I’m very interested in the whole thing with Auli’i character’s mother sleeping with her father and her thinking Auli’i is a ‘whore just like her mother’ since Wendla is the tragically innocent character in the show who was too sheltered to know anything about sex and Ilse is a victim of incest who dealt with it by acting out sexually….like it’s definitely not the same as what I’m expecting them to do with the reversed Hanschen/Ernst storyline but it’s interesting to see the parallels between them since they’ve clearly had very different upbringings when it comes to mature issues like that

Speaking of tho, Auli’i struggling with ‘Mama Who Bore Me’ until she had a big fight with her mom and can suddenly belt it to hell and back……come on

Let Me Tell You How Much I Cringed When The Teacher Outed Michael To The Entire Cast

Like, dude….you know that only like yourself and one other student knows he’s transitioning and he didn’t even tell you himself….Like yes he auditioned for a male role but he signed with his birth name like…The teacher had that list before rehearsal he literally could’ve just pulled the kid aside and asked him what he wanted to do??? I’m glad they didn’t film any of the other kids, like, caring or being weird about it though. That might be a delayed plot line but they all seemed relatively accepting so that definitely made the whole situation a little more bearable to watch

OF COURSE the lights kid is homeless….because there wasn’t enough drama

Don’t get me wrong like it’s definitely an important issue but that’s my problem with shows like this, they just Pile Everything On to the point where it’s so much like…

And then he took the kid home which we all saw coming but like, did you see the wife’s face??? He has a cell phone, he could have at least called to warn her. Their marriage seems stressed, they’ve got an emo ass son Going Through Some Ambiguous Problem That Has Lead To Drinking, and now they‘re moving a homeless kid in on top of it like. It just feels less like ‘real life’ and more like ‘how much drama can we pile into this for views’ and also it was a lot for literally the first episode?

Who…has ever actually put on Pirates of Penzance….who has ever actually seen Pirates of Penzance….I’m not convinced it’s a real show lmao I laughed when he said he wanted to replace Spring Awakening with it what a JUMP

BURNING THE COSTUMES WAS SO FUCKING DRAMATIC ASDFGH WHO WOULD EVER?!?!?! I LOVED IT

Also though like why were they singing ‘I Believe’ for that part???? It definitely helped with the Drama And Aesthetic™ but it’s also. the rape song? Idk I think situation wise ‘Totally Fucked’ would’ve just been a better choice. They could have just done what the original broadway cast did on televised performances and changed it to ‘stuck’ lmao. Now, the moment definitely would’ve felt more….Glee-ish, with that song, so I guess they were trying to avoid that since this is a serious™ show but like again I just don’t see how ‘I Believe’ worked thematically

Also like the biggest problem this show had was PACING. Holy shit. This one episode felt like the entire season. Like literally…what else. What else can they do. These kids have apparently already been at it for weeks and are professional singers who have all the songs down for some reason. Like how many rehearsals do they have before the show??? Damn. They definitely could’ve slowed it down and dragged things out, it would‘ve felt a lot cleaner

All in all tho….For a first episode I’d give it like a solid 7 or 8???? I’m interested enough to check out episode two but I’m also cautiously expecting to fall out of the show either because of the pacing or just them piling on too much drama just for the sake of it. What did you think???

#Rise #nbc #josh radnor #auli'i cravalho #rise nbc #musicals #asks #molly mumbles #I think I'm missing notes #but the show ended over an hour ago lol

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dubsdeedubs · 6 years

Text

A Thousand Natural Shocks [15/16]

[A/N: I BET YOU THOUGHT YOU SAW THE LAST OF ME

split the last chapter into two bc i figure yall would like a six thousand word thing NOW as opposed to a 15 thousand word monster god knows when. long story short, i finished school for the term, i have a job for summer (in boston!) and i’m ready to WRITE]

[AO3]

Near the end of 1972, about halfway through earning his first doctorate, Stanford Pines experienced an Epiphany.

Though slightly less graceful and Romantic than having an apple fall upon his head, or even reciting Goethe while gazing upon the rays of a setting sun (as always, Tesla never did anything by halves), the effect on the young scientist proved no less than electrifying. Certainly no less dramatic, judging by the foot-wide spray radius of the resulting half-mug of coffee shattered onto the floor.

A particularly difficult proof had been the catalyst; specifically, a problem that had been built on such theoretical ground that the soon-to-be Dr. Pines had to navigate several levels of hypotheticals and complete nonsense - that albeit did have some meaning with three textbooks' worth of context and a state-of-the-art graphing calculator 'borrowed' from a university laboratory - to even seriously approach the question itself.

A study of the relation of objects and velocity in zero-gravity conditions outside the known universe, which in fact had nothing to do with his field of study at all. Or any field of study relevant to humanity for the next hundred years, for that matter.

(Questioning why the man had spent forty-three sleepless hours validating a concept that had nothing at all to do with practicality and usefulness would show no less than a deep, fundamental misunderstanding of the person Stanford Pines was.)

Ford lifted a hand, felt his own face slowly, contemplatively… and was suddenly, unhappily aware that he did not remember the last time he had taken a shower. Still staring at the wall with unfocused eyes, he opened his mouth, somehow managing not to recoil from the immediate stench of his own Terrible Hygiene Decisions, and spoke out loud to the audience of himself and one snoring roommate.

- It is important to note, however, that words are rarely enough to express a particularly complex idea,. Case in point, Ford's thought process had already finished the marathon when his sentence had just begun to leave his mouth, and in fact, was contemplating whether to jog back to the starting line for the complimentary juicebox.

He thought: space is enormous, space is complex, to an extent that it is necessary to accept that space is of a scale beyond all human comprehension. It follows then that most, if not all of the rules that governs it - if any existed, which was also up for debate - would not make any logical human sense. Perhaps, it was here at the edges of the universe that dimension boundaries blurred, that the divide between mind and body weakened, that reality itself gave a Great Big Shrug.

Then, perhaps -

"Space," Ford said slowly, softly, with the hesitant tone of a man who saw himself approaching a terrible, unknowable truth, "is big."

A tear welled at the corner of his left eye.

Stanford was Not Wrong. But had his roommate been awake and therefore, had thrown a pillow at Ford's head, there was no creature in the history of existence that would have blamed him. At least two would have bought him a drink for the trouble.

Unfortunately, the magnitude of Ford's breakthrough was undercut somewhat by his sudden loss of consciousness and short-term memory about forty-three seconds afterwards, after an attempt to walk straight through the nearest wall. While he would live on despite reaching this critical mass of awful life choices, the fact that his human mind had erased all of the night's events in a desperate attempt at survival would turn out to be a missed opportunity.

Had he remembered, then more than thirty years later, hanging slack-limbed and dangling in a dark place that was both completely in his head and somewhere on the fringes of a distant galaxy, Stanford would have felt greatly validated in having proved his theory correct firsthand.

...Though perhaps, with the deep, leaden exhaustion that pooled in his gut and dragged at his every limb with near physical weight, the less things his overworked mind had to deal with, the better.

Not that there were many thoughts to be had in the first place. There were only two things that Ford was aware of. One, the nothingness he could 'see' - that was, the closest approximation in English to a much more esoteric concept - spreading out before him for miles in every direction.

Then, there was what he couldn't see but could feel nonetheless: the burning weight of a gaze magnified by a hundred, thousand times, coming from everywhere and nowhere at once. A mystery, one that would normally call out to Stanford Pines with a force greater than a siren's song.

But Ford was tired, too tired for anything that involved any kind of active consciousness. He had been on some kind of journey, one that had been long and difficult but ended too soon all the same. He had wanted more - more time, more chances, more of… something. Someone.

But that didn't matter now. He had finished. He was over, he was complete.

He could rest now.

And he did, because time had no meaning where he was now. He knew without knowing how that with a blink there would come a minute and leave a millennium. For the first in a very, very long time, there were no voices to be heard in his head, not even his own. There was no desire to think, to probe, to question. This was an ending, his ending, and because it was good and he was happy he should stay like this forever -

Ford!

- but.

It took every bit of strength he had for Ford to lift his head.

The darkness opened their many eyes.

He was surrounded from every side, every angle. He was within, somewhere deep inside the innards of some colossal existence, part of the bigger whole. But despite the cool slide of substance over his exposed skin and the eerie green brightness of the light that had illuminated his surroundings, he felt calm, safe.

He was protected here, he knew. He was theirs, after all.

And They Were His.

Distantly, Ford could see the glint of stars.

Ford, wake up already, would ya?

He could feel a pressure, a solid and physical hold that he could feel first on his chest and then tightly around his torso. It was different, incredibly so, from the distant knowing, existing, of the here and now.

C'mon, he heard, coming quick and fervently desperate, Sixer, please -

It wasn't a voice, not one that could be measured by soundwaves and governed by physical laws. He felt it more than he heard it, the superficial annoyance, the raw panic underneath, the bone-deep gnaw of familiarity that came with a nickname that had meant such different things to him over the course of his lifetime.

"Stanley."

The pinpricks of light around him shuttered,

blinked,

and

Ford opened his eyes, cautiously and slowly, with the dim confusion of someone who didn't remember closing them in the first place. He squinted groggily through a pounding pain in his head that felt somewhat like a particularly bad migraine, or if he had been momentarily been blinded by some kind of thousand-watt camera flash.

...Something had happened.

Well. Yes. Clearly, he thought irritably just a moment afterwards. It was just incredibly difficult to think while being rather roughly shaken, which did the very opposite of help his headache or sort out his jumbled thoughts.

Ford let out a long, pained groan, too dazed to form coherent words, and flung - flopped, mostly - his arm upwards. He hit something solid - and sentient, he thought, when he immediately heard a surprised yelp.

The jolting movement stopped abruptly. A moment later, he heard his brother's voice, hoarse and uncertain, somewhere on the edge of his narrow line of sight.

"You… you good there, Sixer? Genius brain of yours still - tickin' on okay?"

Stan sounded concerned, but Ford couldn't imagine what for. In lieu of an answer, he pushed himself back up, eyes still clenched shut in a vain attempt to lessen the throbbing pain in his head. A hand on his shoulder steadied him, and another handed him a familiar pair of glasses.

"I'm fine, Stanley," he said, with far more certainty than he actually felt. The cool stale air and the unyielding chillness of the metal underneath his fingers meant he was in his basement laboratory, but not much else about his current circumstances were obvious.

Ford's glasses creaked alarmingly as he unfolded them open but did not break, which, he thought distantly and somewhat ridiculously, meant the reinforcements he had had done several months back in Astucía V had been a good call after all. He fumbled them on, opened his eyes -

He hissed and slapped a six-fingered hand over his eyes, uncomfortably aware that the noise he had just made was more likely to have come from a startled alleycat than a grown man.

Just a bit too much of Stanley.

"I gotta say," his brother said hesitantly, an expression of careful concern on his craggy face. "You… don't look anything close to fine right now. Heck." Stan let out a shaky breath of laughter, and gave Ford an unreadable look that he almost didn't catch through his fingers. "...Just the fact that we're having this talk right now makes me think that you're still bit scrambled up over what just happened, and -."

"Your pants," Ford blurted.

There was a brief, shocked silence. Stan opened his mouth, closed it again. "...Uh. What about my pants?"

"Your pants," he repeated, suddenly unsure of how and why he had ended up in this specific, current conversation, "are not on you."

In fact, there was not much of anything on his brother at all. Not the cheap suit he had been wearing like a uniform for the past several weeks, not the musty old fez usually perched on his gray hair.

(though of course Stan wouldn't be wearing that fez, he didn't have it anymore, which Ford knew because -

because - ?)

Which begged a question. Many questions really.

Starting with what happened in the past week why can't I remember any of it to why do I feel like someone just tried to force their way into my head with a wooden spoon, and most likely ending with why are you sitting naked on the floor of my private lab.

Typical concerns.

His brother opened his mouth slowly, as if he had only just realized the fact himself. Judging by how Stan glanced down at his own nude form with a look of dawning comprehension and inexplicable relief, was probably more or less accurate.

"Oh," Stan said blankly. "Well. I mean, yeah. It sure does looks like it."

He snorted, a sudden chuff of air through his nostrils. "Geez, Ford. That's it? That's all you're going to say to me, after everything that's happened?"

"Is…" Ford paused, reconsidering. He put his hand back down, suddenly feeling very foolish for his earlier dramatic reaction. He had grown up with his brother, after all. Why, had he been expecting to see something more when he opened his eyes than a gut and a truly frightening amount of body hair?

"Is there something that I should be asking you about?"

Stan's immediate, stunned silence was reply enough. Then, Ford realized unhappily, there was just one possibility, really. The only thing in the world they still both cared deeply about.

"Did - did Dipper and Mabel call? Are they facing some kind of trouble?"

"T-the kids?" Stanley repeated, utterly bewildered. "Oy, shouldn't I be the one askin' you that? They called you. Not - not me."

"They - did?" He replied weakly. "I can't… recall."

His brother looked at him for a long moment. Somewhere along the way, his shocked stare had evolved into a hard look of leaden understanding.

"...Y'know what, don't worry 'bout it," Stan said finally, voice hollow. He suddenly looked very drained and small, huddled without clothing in the dim light of the laboratory. "It doesn't matter."

There was something unsaid, something Ford was missing without knowing what. "What - what were we doing down here?" He asked hesitantly.

"...Dunno," Stan said blandly, not meeting his eyes. "Maybe we sleepwalked."

It was a clear lie, even by his brother's bottom standards. Ford bristled. "This isn't the time for jokes, Stan. If you're attempting to lie, at least put even a smidgen of effort into it!" He paused, tried to figure out a way to ask his question without sounding like a confused old man, and failed.

"...Stanley, what's going on?"

"I'm. I'm not sure how ta explain." His brother grimaced. "And maybe... maybe you don't remember it for good reason."

There was much unsaid, but Ford got the sense that the conversation had hit its last wall, at least where Stan was concerned. Still, he wasn't quite yet willing to let go of the mystery in front of him.

"While I was unconscious," he said haltingly, blinking through the clouded thoughts and muddled memories that haunted his every attempt to remember, "I thought, maybe, that I saw - some type of, creature, entity, a green light -"

Stan jerked. "Don't," he snapped, in a way that made Ford flinch despite himself. "...Sorry," he said after a long moment. "I just. Don't…. don't think 'bout what you saw. Not too hard. Let's just -"

His brother took a deep breath, let it back out. "Let's just let them go."

"Them -?"

The dead serious look in his brother's eye killed any questions Ford had felt compelled to ask.

"Alright," he said carefully instead, mentally filing the topic away for a less... volatile time. "I… shall."

His brother nodded, then drew himself up with a grim look, slow and hesitant, movements carefully deliberate other than his subtle shivering from the cold.

But then, just as it seemed he had made it, his knee (distorted) bent the wrong way. Stan crumpled to the ground almost immediately with a grunt of pain, large frame folding like a house of cards. Ford jolted at the familiar sound.

Familiar?

"New knees," Stan hissed inexplicably. He pushed flat against the ground, hefting himself up in slow, careful jerks. "Hell. New everything. Ford, can ya give me a hand? Just for this one bit."

He wasn't listening. There had been something there, then in that split-second of pain and dropped guard. As if a glint of residue light from the machinery had came and caught a moment too long in his brother's eye -

Oh, Ford thought stupidly, and it dawned on him like sun through the clouds.

The rest was autopilot. He moved forwards the final few steps and knelt down to catch Stan's look of pure confusion, saw his brother's mouth open in confused, kneejerk protest, and thought, with the most adamant certainty he had felt for a very long time, Stanley must be so, so cold -

Ford shrugged off his worn coat in one fluid motion and pulled the weathered warm cloth around his brother like a shield. There was a kind of reassuring certainty in the way it settled and pooled around him, as if it was tethering him to the ground with its comforting weight.

In ways his coat frankly shouldn't, logically. It had been a close fit on Ford himself, and despite the muscles gained from decades of space travel and the differences that came with the many years passed, he was still obviously of a smaller built than his barrel-chested, big-gutted brother. The old coat should not have covered Stan completely, let alone have practically enveloped him in the way that it did.

But then again, logic and logistics rarely had a place in the old tales. Ford should've known they wouldn't have much weight here.

He clung onto his brother in an embrace that was not returned, partly because Stan hadn't been given much time to react, mostly because Ford was near certain that he had inadvertently trapped his brother's arms against his body in that initial covering of not-quite-mantle. He had no complaints nonetheless.

The warm weight of his brother under his arms felt like an ending.

Stan shifted against him. "Ford?" His voice came in barely a whisper.

"Stanley," Ford said wetly, partly as an address, partly as a confirmation. "If you ever attempt another ridiculous, utterly pointless sacrifice in our lifetime, I will singlehandedly paint that Stanmobile of yours the brightest yellow I can find."

His brother jerked in his grasp in any unholy mixture of a twitch and a shudder. "You wouldn't dare."

"I would. And you know what else?" He continued, relishing every word. "I will sell it at a quarter of the market value. To a teenager."

"Over my dead bo - urk!" Stan wheezed as Ford tightened his grip even more. "...Huh. Too soon?"

He almost did not dignify the question with a response. "Yes."

His brother said nothing for a long moment. "I… I guess this means you do remember, after all," he said finally, hesitantly. "For a moment there, I thought ya wouldn't. I figured that -"

Stan broke off with a deathly wheeze. "Sixer, if you don't let me take a breath in the next five seconds -"

Ford let go immediately, even took a step back from the realization that he had been holding on just - a little bit too forcefully. "I didn't realize," he tried, watching his brother gulp in air as if his life had depended on it. "I was just -"

"Don't worry 'bout it. I'm fine," his brother interrupted, putting a hand up to halt Ford from babbling further. He thumped himself on the back and winced, sounding just like the old man he was supposed to be. "Whew. My nerd brother got strong. You spend a year in the cow throwing dimension or somethin'?"

That gave Ford pause. "There's - a cow throwing dimension?"

"Yeah. 'Course. There's some real weird places out there, deep in the multiverse. Even before they got there." His brother scratched his nose thoughtfully. "Don't get me started on the one without depth perception. Though, that was funny in a 'Three Dupes' kinda way, sure. Would make a great TV channel. Just wouldn't wanna live there."

"...No," Ford said slowly, "I don't imagine I would either."

They stood there for a long and awkward moment, perched over the smoldering remnants of a conversation that had only ever been a distraction from much harder topics lurking under the surface. Stan shuffled a bit and clung onto his brother's coat as if it was tethering him to reality, sneaking wary glances at his brother whenever he thought he wasn't looking.

Ford, on the other hand, stood silent and hesitant, unsure of how to broach a subject. The subject, as it was.

"You were going to let me forget," he said instead.

That, at least was somewhat familiar ground - accusations, arguments. Anger. But despite himself, he couldn't muster up the usual fire. It was as if he was reading off lines off a sheet, fully aware how they should sound but utterly unable to put himself into a mindset that now felt so utterly alien to his own.

"...Yeah," Stan admitted, voice carefully neutral. He avoided his gaze adamantly. "I would have."

Words swirled around in his mind, questions and demands, but none of them felt real or right for the moment. There was only one thing he could ask - "Why?"

Because so much had happened since the moment Dipper and Mabel had left town. Because he had learned and experienced things that had forced him to reconsider the views and beliefs he had clung onto throughout his life, because he himself had changed so greatly that he could barely recognize his past self.

Because if Stan had just let him forget, because if he hadn't seen the green glint in his brother's eye and the pieces hadn't all came back together, he would've just -

"Wasn't worth it." Stan looked up at him, gaze level. "Normal human isn't made to look into certain parts of the universe and come out with all their mental bits intact. And - " He grimaced. "Ya already know what happened to the last guy who saw me like that. So, I figured ya couldn't remember for a reason."

He let out a breath. "And I… just decided to take the hint."

"It wasn't just your choice to make," Ford said quietly. "I didn't -"

"Well, it wasn't all yours either, alright?" Stan snapped, a surprising explosion of sound that made Ford flinch. "And it wasn't like I could just ask you then for permission to drive you insane -"

"Stan, that's not what I meant."

Stan stopped at that, and sucked in a deep breath, clearly surprised by his own vehemence. "...I know it wasn't a great choice, Sixer," he admitted. "But as far as I could tell then, that was the only one I had." Until you just - came around. ...Just typical, y'know? How you end up side-stepping my entire moral conundrum just like that."

Stan paused, grimaced, clearly attempting to phrase a difficult question. "...What was it, in the end?" He asked at last. "That made you remember?"

"I saw your eyes," Ford said without thinking.

Immediately, an expression of pure horror burst into existence on his brother's face as his hands flew up to scrabble at the soft skin of his face.

"Stan, Stanley!" He exclaimed, grabbing his brother's hands to keep them still, to stop him from hurting himself. "That's not what I meant, your eyes are perfectly normal! They just - caught in the light, I suppose, and I was reminded of -"

"Oh," Stan said blankly. His fingers unclenched. He pulled his hands carefully out of Ford's slackened grip and lowered them slowly, awkwardly tangled with each other, to chest level. "Yeah. I, uh. I knew that."

Another silence fell on the two of them. And - wasn't that just perfectly ironic, that the two of them finally escaped the constant arguments and bickering by just not talking at all?

"Stan," Ford said at last, as steadily as he could. He needed to know, nearly as much as he didn't want to. "Are you alright? Honestly alright?"

"Sure I am," his brother replied with exaggerated nonchalance. "Look, you might be a sci-fi adventure hero or whatever, but all things considered, you're not that strong -"

"You know perfectly well that I'm not talking about that," Ford said, cutting despite himself. He put his hands behind his back to hide the way they were trembling. He had quite enough of diversions. "There were -" he paused, trying to find words that would not come to describe the things he had seen in and around his brother. "...You were coming apart in front of me. Before."

Stan winced and pulled Ford's coat tighter around himself. "It's fine, Sixer."

"No," he said frostily. "No, it really isn't. I saw you disintegrating, crumbling away -"

"...Don't ya think that's a little bit too dramatic - ?" Stan tried.

" - and all I knew," Ford continued, tone biting, "as I saw my own brother disappear into Gods knew where, was that there was nothing I could do but watch."

Stan shut up, clearly realizing correctly that his brother had no patience left for self-deprecating jokes and digressions from the topic at hand.

He took full advantage of the silence. "I was out of my depth," Ford admitted. "Every resource I had at my disposal, every bit of knowledge I had collected in years and decades traversing the multiverse, and yet I was utterly useless to help my own twin. I didn't - I didn't know what to do."

Ford paused, unsure how to explain how devastating of a fact that was to him. Him, Stanford Pines, the man who had the facts and a dozen university degrees under his belt, at a complete loss. He… might not have made the best choices in his own life, but knowledge was something he prided himself on possessing. It was how he defined himself. He - he had needed it.

And without that...

"I - still don't know," Ford said at last. "I don't understand how we're both alive. I don't know why you're corporeal again." He paused. "...Why you lost all your clothing. I can't be sure that this isn't some kind of - complex hallucination, and that I'll be waking up to actual reality in a few minutes. I…"

He trailed off. Had to swallow down something leaden to continue.

"I don't even know if you can stay."

Stan jerked at that. "Of fucking course I'm here to stay!" He exclaimed, his eyes wide. "Moses, Ford, I wouldn't just be sitting around here wasting time if - alright, look at this," he said, brandishing a single hairy arm in front of Ford's eyes. "This is one hundred percent human here, yeah? Nothing else. No more - green eyes, no weird cosmic… stuff. What you see is what you get."

He glanced down and grimaced. "...Ugh. Just wish I coulda thought myself up a smaller gut."

"But how do you know that, Stanley?" Ford demanded, tamping down on the smallest flutterings of hope in his chest. These were not answers, not yet. Just - blind reassurances, vague promises, and he had quite enough of those over the past few days. "How is this - even possible? Just before this, you told me your - your original body was gone, that all you had was -"

The wriggling star stuff, the gaping rip in reality, how his brother's skin had ripped to show empty space underneath.

"- that. How can you be back, how can you be human, if -"

"The deal, Sixer."

The words were said simply and matter-of-fact, but it cut through Ford's protests like a hot knife through warm butter. "What?" He said at last, after a moment of confused silence.

Stan gave him a pained smile. "Yeah. Just typical, huh? It's... always about the deal, in the end."

"I don't understand," Ford said slowly. "Your deal was to bring me back to this dimension, and you fulfilled that weeks ago. My presence here should be proof enough of that. What does that have to do with any of our present concerns?"

"Well, it was to get my brother back, to be specific. But yeah. Simple. Straightforward. Least," Stan said with a shrug, "that's what I thought when I made it. And in my defense, I wasn't in the best state of mind at the time, what with crashing straight off the mortal coil and all, but."

He shook his head disbelievingly, a helpless grin on his face. "The wording. The wording."

"The… wording?"

"It was pretty damn vague, wasn't it?" Stanley exclaimed, and the glint of excitement in his eyes reminded Ford suddenly of how his brother had always loved playing with words and meanings. It… was a comfort, seeing how that hadn't changed. Even if he had ended up using the ability to scam summer tourists instead of becoming a truly fearsome lawyer.

"Think 'bout it. Even after I fixed that portal, got it activated and brought you back home… I still didn't get my brother back, did I?"

"...Actually," Ford said slowly, "I would venture to say that that's exactly what it means."

"Aaaand that's why I'm the con artist and you're not, Sixer. See," Stan waved a hand wildly, as if gesturing to an invisible whiteboard with circled words and highlighted passages. "I brought Stanford Filbrick Pines back to this dimension. You. But getting my brother back - cuz in the way I really meant it, it wasn't just physically -"

He paused, as if genuinely waiting for the drama of it all - "That didn't happen 'til much later."

Stan gave Ford a meaningful look. "Couple weeks and about an hour or so later, if I had to really guess."

It took Stanford an embarrassingly long minute for the pieces to click. Remembering what exactly had happened a couple weeks and an hour or so after his return from the portal (which… was right now, wasn't it? Give or take a few hours. It had been a couple weeks and he had returned in the late afternoon and, oh) required substantial effort after the amount of rattling his brain had gone through.

But once he did -

i'm here. you did it. now fulfill your end of the bargain and

- the realization came quickly.

His eyes widened despite himself. "No. No."

"Hah." There was not much humor in that single bark of laughter. Stan looked away, an unreadable expression on his face. "...Yeah."

"That's - absolutely ridiculous!" Ford exclaimed, flabbergasted despite himself. "That's just semantics!"

"It always is with these things, Sixer."

But he was too caught up in the middle of an indignant rant to reply. "Not to mention, it's utterly pointless! I mean, surely, you must have already known that you had me back in every meaning of the word there is, the moment I stepped through that portal, you didn't need me to tell you that I -"

The uncomfortable look on Stan's face stopped him short.

"...You - didn't know," Ford finished lamely.

"What can I say, Sixer?" His brother sighed. "Punching me in the face didn't exactly - help with that.. Or tellin' me that you were kicking me out the moment summer was over. Those just… kind of gave out a certain impression, y'know what I mean?"

Ford opened his mouth, already preparing an indignant defense… and closed it.

If nothing else, he had learned in his time back on Earth not just when to admit that he was wrong, but how to do it. This was a conversation to be had somewhere other than the basement they had just almost died in, sometime when they weren't tired to the bone and struggling to keep themselves upright.

Perhaps it was a conversation never to be had at all in terms of words and arguments. One that would do, would've done, much better with actions and apologies.

Regardless, not here. Not now.

"I have to admit," Ford said evenly, "this all sounds very… sadistic. Like... some kind of cosmic joke. A poor one, at that. Didn't you make your deal with yourself?"

He paused, realizing he had no desire to delve into that specific tangle of identity issues and questions of existence now. " ...Ah, more or less. Did - did neither of you know the rules behind the bargain?"

"Well," his brother said, scratching his head. "I get why you ask. But you hafta keep in mind that ol' Six-Sights wasn't exactly an experienced con-whatever back then either. Baby eldritch consciousness' first soul-stealin' deal. That kinda thing."

"What I'm saying is. They... didn't really know what they were getting into, I didn't really know what I was getting into, and… there we went." Stan helpfully illustrated the magnitude of the ensuing disaster by wiggling his fingers of both hands widely. "Complete and utter disaster, classic end of the world kind'f stuff. Though... it could've gone much worse than it did. Much, much worse."

Stan lowered his voice to an aside. "And, ta tell ya the truth, I'm pretty sure the rules existed a paygrade or a twenty above us. Both of us. Six-Sights and I - we were just hopping along to some cosmic playbook."

"But surely, there must be something out that decided how this all works?" Ford exclaimed, aghast. "Some kind of creature that created them in the first place?"

"Well, whatever it is, it strikes me as something that smiles a whole lot. Plays a lotta cards." His brother paused in deep thought. "....Amphibious."

"Amphibious," Ford repeated blankly, a tiny spark of memory from his multiversal adventures nagging at him briefly before dying without much fanfare. Just a coincidence. "Amphibious?"

Stan smiled ruefully. "...Whatever it is, at least its got a soft spot for the misfits. The universe isn't usually too kind to a force of nature with a conscience, or a useless knucklehead who can't even scrub barnacles off a ship bottom."

Ford twitched.

"'Specially when the two are the one and the -"

"Don't."

Stan turned his head slowly to stare at the hand gripping his shoulder, bloodlessly tight. It takes Ford a moment too long to realize it's his own, that he had moved without even realizing it himself. It's an immediate reaction, that's what he will explain it to himself afterwards. Instinct.

"...Don't say that about yourself," Ford said haltingly. "You're not useless. Not by any measure. And -"

He doesn't know what to say for a long second, cursing his inability to speak even somewhat intelligently about his own thoughts and emotions. But what else was there to say? Just the idea of valuing his brother in those terms of worth and purpose felt unfamiliar and ridiculous.

(But he had, hadn't he?

He dispelled those thoughts with a grimace. That had been… long, long ago. A lifetime, by any standard. He had all of this one to prove himself wrong.)

Stan looked to Ford's face, then to his hand, then back again, clearly at a bit of a loss for words.

"Y'know," his brother said conversationally, an extra slight roughness at the edge of his voice. "I feel like I should be lookin' for a hidden spy camera. 'S like… like I'm waiting for that mindless reality TV guy to jump out of the floor screaming at the top of his lungs."

"There's - really no need to worry?" Ford offered, slightly confused with the direction the conversation had gone. "There are no hidden spy cameras in my laboratory. I've checked quite thoroughly."

"I didn't mean it seriously, Sixer -"

"...Other than the set gifted to me from the shadow government, of course."

Stan gives him a Look. "Y'know what," he said finally. "I'm not even gonna ask."

"But," Ford tried again, honestly feeling just a bit put out. "You do understand what I just -"

"No. Yeah. I do. It's just…" Stan dragged a hand down his face, obscuring his suddenly quiet voice in a way that Ford could barely hear what he was saying. "...Just, hard to believe. I mean I do," he added at the stricken look on Ford's face. "...Mostly. I need some… time, yeah. What can I say, a whole lot's happenin' and I'm just an old, old man -"

"We're the same age, Stanley."

"Well," his brother revised with a shrug, "then we're both old men, so I say we both need some sit-down time that isn't on a cold metal surface."

He paused, a faraway look in his eyes. "Y'know what sounds real good? That old armchair of mine, in front 'f the TV. Hugs my butt. Would hug yours too, I'm sure. Same butt."

"That's not how that works," Ford protested, before he could stop himself. "...Even if all of our physical features were identical at birth - which is already a false premise, considering we have a certain major difference - after my decades of running from the galactic police and your decades of…" He paused. "...Sitting on your couch watching melodramatic avian detective reruns -"

Stan scoffed. "Just cuz you don't appreciate a finely crafted children's show with multi-generational appeal -"

"My point is, Stanley. We do not have the same butt." Ford paused, then said with the straightest face he could muster, "Mine is clearly superior."

Stan gaped at him, and he really shouldn't feel as triumphant as he did about shocking his brother into speechlessness, not when he was fifty-eight years old.

That thought lasted for about two seconds before Ford decided that no, that was exactly why that had felt so good.

"You nerd," his brother said finally, disbelievingly. "Fine, y'know what? Great. Perfect. We'll go upstairs and you can plop your 'superior' wrinkly ass right in front of that TV. Watch all the ridiculous sci-fi series ya want. You've earned it."

Ford perked up at that. "Ridiculous sci-fi TV, you say?"

Stan rolled his eyes in familiar exasperation and reached up to peel Ford's hand from his shoulder. The moment his hand took hold of his, he froze. His expression was unreadable as he felt across the palm of the glove, and when he turned his hand into visibility, Ford could see why.

The surface of his glove had been utterly destroyed, torn and melted in equal intervals, especially impressive considering Ford had gotten them tailored with both fire-proof and knife-proof material. Bubbles of congealed vlastik, supposedly indestructible by the vast majority of forces in the universe, lined the edges of his hand.

And yet, the exposed skin of his hand was untouched. Literally, it seemed, because it was the soft, raw pink of newly regrown flesh - uncallused, unscarred, unrecognizable.

It matched perfectly the shade and hue of Stan's own extended hand and wrist, which presumably continued to the rest of his body. It does not take long for Ford to understand.

"Stan," he started, and his brother flinched immediately.

"...This isn't a conversation I'm having right now," Stan said loudly, as if he could block out the possibility by sheer force of will. "Nope, nope, nope."

Ford looked again at the new, new skin on his hand. What existed before had been dead, destroyed beyond all recovery. It had become a blank slate now, missing decades worth of history written down in healed white scars and telltale calluses. They… hadn't been the best memories, but they had made him him.

"I never wanted you to give up so much for me," he said quietly.

"It doesn't matter what you wanted, alright?" Stan snapped, an outburst that seemed to surprise both of them. "...It was what I wanted. Isn't -"

He faltered. "Isn't that enough?"

There was nothing Ford could say to that. For a single moment that felt like years, they stood, eyes locked and bodies tensed, neither willing to take that final step and break their delicate silence.

Then his brother sagged. "My balls are gonna fall right off if I hafta stay down here for another minute," he muttered.

The unexpected vulgarity of the statement killed all tension in the room near immediately. Ford winced, aghast. "Stanley."

"Look. We'll talk." Stan looked at him, a pained expression on his face. "I just - I really need pants for this conversation, alright?"

#gravity falls #gravity falls fic #atns #its been so long i forgot how to tag lol #my fic

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pippasooiloveyou · 7 years

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Things that happened at the Great Comet today (9/2/17 2:00pm Matinee) that left me DEAD

Grace gave me a pirogi and talked with me about War and Peace

Shoba gave me a love letter!! When she passed by I just wanted to make eye contact with her and smile but she saw my vintage Comet shirt and gave me a love letter and I was so pleasantly surprised bc I forgot she was handing out letters and I really wanted one! I couldn’t stop smiling. It said “You’re beautiful” and I’m keeping it forever

Josh laid down right in front of me during the Balaga sequence and when they all cheer after “here’s to happiness freedom and life”, I cheered as well and he heard and winked at me and I had a heart attack

Lauren smiled RIGHT AT ME and I almost cried bc she’s my fav and I love her so much

Blaine was Andrei/Prince Bolkonsky and during the Private and Intimate Life of the House his wig fell off and when I later told him at SD that everyone thought it was on purpose he laughed and smiled at me. I also complimented the pink sweater he was wearing and he was so kind. I wanted to just hug him so much.

DAVE. AS. PIERRE. It was everything I’ve ever wanted and more! He was just so perfect and I truly think adding Dust and Ashes shifted Pierre’s whole character arc in a really dramatic and important way. He was so perfect and I love him to death.

I gave Dave the scrapbook I made him at the stage door and he was so happy!! It made me feel so warm and fuzzy inside!!

Denee danced right in front of me during Balaga and I laughed so hard I cried

During the club scene, Azudi laid down right in front of me and got up in my face and was saying stuff like “Where am I?? God I’m so wasted!! Help me?!” I told him later at stage door that I couldn’t stop laughing and he told me that The Duel is his favorite number to do

Another note about The Duel: JOSH IS SO FUCKING HOT!!!! Like he was right next to me and oh my godddddd. I love that man. His costume...

Amber Gray fucking brought the house down. Charming was so flawless I couldn’t have asked for more

Speaking of powerful female numbers, I was legitimately scared of Marya D in In My House. She started out quiet and worked her way up to rage and that scared the shit out of me

And Sonya Alone made me cry of course. I actually want to be Brittain and I just couldn’t imagine ever doing that and she does it eight times a week and it was amazing

I couldn’t stop crying throughout No One Else. Denee is a princess and it gave me goosebumps

And finally, The Great Comet of 1812 ruined me. That song was the death of me. Dave truly was the best Pierre I’ve ever seen and I could barely see through my tears

From the second the last song was over, every. single. audience member was on their feet applauding as loud as humanly possible. The support in the audience was amazing. The standing ovation lasted a solid 3-5 minutes. They took 3 bows.

Long story short: I can’t believe this show is closing. This was the best fucking day of my life and all I can think is “where to now?” Tomorrow the world will have lost a bright, shining star and that is a true tragedy.

#brb still crying #The Great Comet #Natasha Pierre and the Great Comet of 1812 #the Great Comet of 1812

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pa-awesome · 5 years

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Small Lies That Escalated Into “This Is My Life Now”

• Found out a coworker was from the same city I grew up in. He asked what my "old man's" last name was. Being an unmarried woman, I assumed he was asking about my father to determine if he knew my family back home. Apparently he was asking about my non existent husband, so until he quit I carried on the facade that I had a husband from back home.

• My mom gave my sister a chocolate orange about 15 years ago and she kind of embarrassed the family by saying it was gross. I didn't want to make my parents feel bad so I said that I'd eat it. It was gross but I pretended to like it. Now every year for Christmas I get a chocolate orange.

• Pretended to be a girl on World of Warcraft for a solid two years. I didn't actually set out to do it, just never corrected anyone when they assumed I was and by the time I thought to come clean it seemed too awkward.

• I convinced pretty much everyone in my life that I was allergic to coconut at a young age. I simply just didn't like it at all and it was a good way to avoid eating it (logic of a pre-teen mind). My mom played along. It wasn't until about 3 years ago when my mother in law had a surprise birthday party for her husband and she made a german chocolate cake. The kicker here: she did HALF of it coconut and half without so I could enjoy the cake and not have an allergic reaction to it. I broke down. Laughed. Told them it wasn't true and I actually am not allergic. Her face melted. I hadn't realized how long I had kept up the lie until that very moment.

• When I was 12 years old, I lied about my age and made myself older for about 3 years, so I could still be somewhat cool in WoW. Now some of my WoW friends settled over with me to other games, and whenever I meet someone new, they're likely connected to them. At this point it's too awkward to explain that I'm not the oldest, but in fact the youngest in our friendgroup.

• Told one guy i was canadian bc they asked why i apologized so much. That was in 1st grade, im now a junior in highschool and people are shocked when they find out im not canadian

• I dated a guy who's father was a minister. I liked this guy a lot. I knew their church was one of those loud, dancing talking in tongues churches and his parents asked me to come to church with them. The dad did this whole long ass sermon about premarital sex and being saved. The guy I was dating kept nudging me and his family kept smirking so when they asked who felt the Holy Spirit and wanted to be saved I walked up to the front, everyone was jumping around and people were getting popped in the forehead and going into convulsions on the floor. I pretended to feel it. They smacked my forehead, I fell back, I just laid there with a few other people on the floor with my eyes closed wondering if I should twitch or something. Afterwards everyone was hugging me and his parents were crying.....

• I was working at a small company about 10 years ago, around the holidays. It was approaching Thanksgiving, and the ladies in my department had organized a pot luck luncheon. I was adding my contribution to the sign-up sheet when I noticed that one particular co-worker had signed up to bring brownies. She was a nice, single, older woman who had many pets at home (2-3 cats and as many dogs) and was regularly covered in a layer of pet fur. The day of the party had arrived, and everyone was going around filling their plates. There they were on the dessert table - the brownies. I didn't want to eat any of them, but I also didn't want to be impolite - so I told her I couldn't have any because I was allergic to nuts. Fast forward 9 years, and I am out with a friend (who had also been a co-worker at this company) I had kept since that job. After a few drinks, I tell her, tearfully, that I have a confession to make - I'm not really allergic to nuts. She burst out laughing, thinking it was going to be something much more serious than that. She is the only person I have made this confession to.

• A dude I knew was giving this girl some shit and she kicked him in the nuts. Ok, extreme reaction, but such is life. He doubled over in pain, but since he was kind of a douche anyway, no one cared much. The next day (a Friday) his dad took him out of school for some reason. Then when he returned on Monday he learned that the big rumor was that his balls ruptured from the kick, and he had to get emergency surgery. Rather than correcting anyone, he went along with it. This went on for years. People made fun of him, and he just joked about it. There were idiotic songs people sung about him. He laughed about it. Never denied it once, in fact participated in some of the joking at times. Finally, one day about 3 years later he comes clean. She didn't even actually kick him in the balls, just in the gut and it really knocked the wind out of him. After all this time, the dude who got kicked in the balls was basically his identity. Strange turn of events.

• When I was 16, I humored some Mormon missionaries to make my best friend and his family happy (they were Mormon). So after a few home "lessons" about the LDS church I had already showed a lot of fake support and interest. Being awkward, I didn't want to admit to not being interested. When they asked if I wanted to be baptised weeks later, I said yes, imagining I'd eventually back out. I didn't. Became an athiest Mormon. After months of living this double life, attending church, etc, my mom decided to show support by becoming Mormon. I was mortified. My recovering Catholic dad pulls me aside and asks me if I really believe this stuff. I explained everything to him and he thought it was hilarious. I also made him promise not to tell Mom because, again, awkward and too far deep. She asked me to baptise her and I refused. This insulted her. Fast forward a year or so and I distanced myself from church people while still maintaining the close relationship with my friend and his family. It's been 12 years now, and we still hang out weekly and nobody considers me Mormon. I never explained this to him.

• The second or third week of college my freshman year I stumbled into a room where a newly acquired friend and his roommate were playing kingdom hearts. We briefly talked about how much they loved the game, etc. Eventually, I fall asleep on their futon from general college induced exhaustion. An indeterminable amount of time later, I wake up to them quietly talking about what to do with the person napping on the couch. Not wanting to be rude, I tell them "Oh sorry - I wasn't really napping" They call me out on my buffoonery, and I decide to double down that I WAS NOT NAPPING. We get into a pretty heated argument about what constitutes a nap and the specific things that I was doing if it were not napping. I do not back down and start essentially yelling at them that I was not napping. This grew into an uncontrollable inside joke where whenever I would go anywhere with these guys they would say something like "man, its a good thing bendernas doesn't take naps", he'll be the life of the party. Or some shit. This slowly spreads to basically everything we did (small school of ~ 3000 students, where most people had some sort of obscure connection to most other people) and I eventually became known as the person who didn't take naps. (edit: i love naps) A few years later we became roommates and the proceed to wake me up basically every single day whenever I took a nap.

• When I got out of college, I got accepted in an internship. After that internship, they hired me. When they asked about my diploma, I said the truth, that I needed a few more general classes(French and PE) to finish and get my diploma. They said: No problem, but you have to get your diploma. I said(the beginning of the lie): It's alright, I'm already registered for the classes next semester. They said: Ok but make sure you get it soon! Then never asked about it again, even after changing HR management twice since then. I've been working here for 10 years now, never went back for my diploma. I know it's stupid, but let's hope I end my career here or something.

• Living in a College Town, every year around spring graduation there's one or two "I'm here to see my kid graduate, but I haven't been able to locate them" families. Usually kids that stopped going, pocketed their parents money, and/or just gave up and couldn't handle telling the family. It ends sadly sometimes. That's a big lie/deception to deal with and maintain. It almost always comes to a head.

• My first relationship. A few days in, then-girlfriend tells me she isn't ready to go public just yet and if we could just pretend we weren't together for a few days then she would be ready. Six months later, I had lied to so many people for her I can't tell whats real anymore and any time I asked her if we could stop because it was messing with me she refused and argued her way out of it. Looking back on this fucks with my head to this day. Amazing how much things like that can snowball.

• One time someone who I wanted to be better friends with showed me a metal gear solid meme and me being me I pretended to understand it. I then was forced to research all the games and their plots, Easter eggs, quotable characters, and other memes to better fake understanding. I still have never played a metal gear solid game.

• My fiance has a great one. She's a picky eater, and rather than tell her best friend that she doesn't like bananas, she told her "I'm allergic to bananas." For YEARS, her best friend would make sure everything was banana-free. From cakes, to desserts, to even clearing her house of anything banana related. After close to 15 years, my fiance finally told her "Hey, I just don't like bananas." Nervous, thinly veiled hatred in the form of laughter ensued.

• One teacher at school said my name wrong and I was too anxious to correct him. Long story short it’s almost been a year and I’m in too deep to say anything else.

• I live in Cambridge, UK and my go to answer to those "interesting-facts-about-you" moments (you know, corporate icebreakers or interview stuff) is that I got knocked over by Stephen Hawking whilst on the pavement near my house. Partly true as in he lives in the city, travels out and about on said streets. Truth is I just saw him on a path once. I was driving. People love that it's a bit different so imma keep using it.

• A buddy of mine's dad had a funny ongoing joke of sometimes referring to his son's friends by similar, but incorrect names. Trent became Trevor, Scott became Sam, Ethan became Eric. Just silly stuff like that. So in that vein he starts calling me 'Donald' (jesse is my middle name, my first one starts with 'D'). At first I thought he was joking, but he just. Didn't. Stop. Its been years, and now that we're all moved out and on our own I rarely ever see him. But he still calls me Donald whenever I do, and at this point its way too late to correct him.

• This is a small thing, I don't go by my full name but when I sign up for classes at my gym, it's done through an app and shows up on the roster as my full name. I never thought that anyone there would eventually know me by name, so when the instructor would take attendance I just never corrected in. But now I'm a year in and I'm casually friendly with most people there and I'm in way too deep to correct them now. It's not that I mind my full name that much, I have just never really gone by it.

#repost #liar #lies #story

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