#this sounds like something Kaz Brekker would say. I’m not wrong

[jahayla-parker]

My Far Better Half : Kaz Brekker x Reader

Description: 3.4k wc, As far as Kaz is concerned, y/n is his far better half; everything good in the world, everything he wasn’t, and everything that made him a slightly better person. He vowed to keep her safe to the point very few people knew about her or their relationship. So when she acted recklessly, Kaz’s emotions lead to confessions of how he perceived her/their relationship. (Kaz is still canon but is softer here -only to y/n- due to storyline and the fact he’s had years to make progress). Fluff, Slightly Hurt-comfort, minor angst.

Warnings: typical SoC topics, mentions of physical fights (minimal with no detail) and Kazzle Dazzle being hard on himself.

“Why would you do that?!” Kaz snapped. He dragged his gloved hand down his face, making his eyebrows disheveled. The fear of something possibly having happened to y/n due to her acting so carelessly had made Kaz furious. He couldn’t understand why she’d done what she did. Kaz had made it so she didn’t need to do anything like that, and yet here they were.

Y/n looked away from Kaz shyly. She frowned to herself as she glued her sad eyes to the floor of their bedroom. Y/n knew her actions would make Kaz mad long before she even did them; but she had to. Nonetheless, she hated it when Kaz was upset with her. It didn’t happen often and y/n wished it wasn’t happening now either.

Kaz watched y/n closely. He noticed the way she refused to look at him and the sad expression that was now painting her face. Kaz sighed loudly, his left thumb and pointer finger straightening his brows. “You were trying to protect me,” he determined as he replayed the scene in his mind.

Y/n still didn’t gaze up at Kaz, her eyes remaining on the wooden panels of the floor. She was offended he didn’t pick up on the reason behind her actions earlier. But, y/n was also simultaneously embarrassed for how wrong things had gone when she was trying to help him.

Kaz sighed again. He took a step closer to y/n, eyes trained on her as he waited for her to react. When she still didn’t acknowledge him, he pressed his lips into a straight line and took another step. “I’m…,” Kaz cut himself off before rewording his statement, “I shouldn’t have yelled”.

Y/N’s jaw shifted slightly as did her lips, yet she continued to stare blankly at the ground. She didn’t even know how to feel about all of this as she couldn’t tell if she was more mad that he’d yelled at her, or if she was more embarrassed for how things turned out. So, y/n elected it was best to not respond or react for now until she could get ahold of herself more.

Kaz neared y/n further, his cane clicking against the floor was the only sound due to her continued silence. He cautiously took a seat beside her and sighed. “I’m…,” Kaz began slowly, the words uncomfortable for him, “I’m sor-… I’m sorry, y/n.”

Y/N’s gaze snapped up until she was looking at Kaz. His words had stunned her, Kaz Brekker never apologized. Well, perhaps that wasn’t entirely true. After all, during their relationship, there were many times Kaz had to correct his behaviors in apology for something he’d done (or not done). But, for him to actually directly say he’s sorry was a new development. As such, y/n stared at him in shock.

Kaz was the one to look away this time, the eye contact too much given his recent vulnerable statement. “You just….” He groaned. “You scared me,” Kaz reluctantly confessed, eyes staring into the distance. “I can’t… I can’t have anything happen to you,” he said, his voice rough but merely a whisper. The whisper was instinctual as he didn’t want to risk anyone else hearing such a statement. It was only after he’d whispered the words that Kaz remembered they were home, a ways away from the Barrel where someone might be able to eavesdrop.

Y/n frowned at Kaz’s words. She hated that she’d caused him to worry so much today. “I’m okay, Kaz,” y/n reassured him. She turned her body in order to face him better as he stayed seated beside her. “I… I know it wasn’t ideal.., but I made it out of there fine,” y/n reminded him.

“But you might not have!” Kaz lashed out. He didn’t yell, but his frustration was evident in his tone. Kaz felt y/n’s sorrowful eyes on him and he sighed. “It’s my job to keep you safe,” he pointed out, his hands tightly fisted by his sides out of frustration over his recent inability to do so.

Y/n exhaled sharply, her eyes wild as she looked at Kaz in disbelief. She shook her head lightly in protest. “Kaz-,” y/n began, but was cut off when Kaz began speaking again.

“No.” Kaz huffed audibly, his eyes tense. “It’s my job,” he repeated. “I willingly accepted that role the moment we met.” Kaz aggressively shook his head. “You’re far too good for this world,” he declared quietly. “Definitely far too good for the Barrel… and Ghenzen knows, for me-” Kaz continued.

“Kaz,” y/n interrupted sharply. She could see where this was going, and she wouldn’t let Kaz continue to speak that way. Y/n noticed Kaz was about to stop her again, so she shook her head firmly at him. She took her time as she cautiously reached forward and cupped Kaz’s face, being sure to give him ample time to move away or to tell her to stop. When he didn’t, y/n let her warm hands embrace the sides of his devilishly handsome face. She nearly swooned as Kaz unconsciously all-but-melted into her touch. It had taken a long time to get where she could touch Kaz without him getting nauseous or anxious, so for him to not just accept, but actually enjoy her touch continued to make her ecstatic time and time again. Pulling herself back to the moment, y/n smiled softly at Kaz but still gave him a knowing look. “We do this together,” y/n affirmed.

As Kaz went to respond, he felt his lips graze against y/n’s palm and realized he’d leaned into her touch. He could still feel the comforting warmth radiating from her hands. Kaz nodded wordlessly against her palm. After a few moments, he spoke up, “I keep you safe. You keep me soft-…-er..”.

Y/n laughed lightly at Kaz’s need to add ‘er’ to the end of his sentence. But, she lowered her hands from his face and sighed softly as she remembered the sentiment behind the rest of his words. Nonetheless, she knew it was futile to argue with him over this. Y/n elected to accept that at least Kaz agreed they were in this together, even if they didn’t agree on the terms of it yet. As such, she slowly nodded in agreement.

Kaz saw y/n’s reluctant stare and saddened smile. He sighed. “It’s selfish, I know,” he confessed, “but you should be used to that from me by now.” Kaz didn’t let y/n’s scoff of protest stop him from continuing. “But, I don’t want you to change, I want you to stay soft, and kind, and innocent, and not tainted by all of this,” he said, waving his hand as he gestured to the Barrel and the lifestyle it demanded metaphorically.

“It’s not selfish,” y/n argued, shaking her head. She sighed quietly, picking at her fingers. “truthfully I…” y/n trailed off bashfully. Deciding to change what her response was going to be, she shifted to a lighter toned reply. “Obviously, I suck at this kind of stuff anyways,” y/n laughed lightly.

Kaz chuckled briefly, a sound only y/n was permitted to hear; and only in moments like this when they were alone at home. He gave y/n a soft sympathetic curl of his lips before delicately grabbing her hand. “For someone who has never fought two people at once before,” Kaz murmured, still a bit frustrated that it had happened, “it wasn’t atrocious”.

Y/n laughed loudly, smiling bright. “Geee, thanks,” she replied sarcastically. Y/n’s laughter softened as Kaz squeezed her hand to show her he was joking; slightly. “But, honestly…,” she mumbled, biting her lip. “I… I didn’t really care for it…” y/n confessed quietly, her tone serious. “Or how it made me feel…” she elaborated when Kaz’s gloved thumb rubbed the back of her hand supportively.

Y/n felt bad confessing such to Kaz. This was his life, his ways, his skills, and yet, she couldn’t keep up. And even worse, she didn’t like the way it made her feel when she tried to do so. Y/n knew Kaz would support her no matter what, but she still felt like she’d let him down with this realization today.

Kaz hummed tenderly as he squeezed y/n’s hand firmly. “I don’t want that for you,” he said calmly. “I don’t want you to have to do things like that, or to feel like that,” Kaz told her. He could see the emotions in her eyes and knew she was feeling guilty over her confession and he wanted to fix that. Kaz liked that y/n hadn’t had to do the things he had, that she was more pure than him. He didn’t want her to feel bad for that, not when it was just who she was; especially when Kaz adored that about her.

“But, you have to,” y/n sighed, looking up at Kaz. “I hate that I can’t keep up and help you, that I can’t be there for you with this stuff, or-“ she whispered, stopping when Kaz shook his head.

Kaz pulled y/n’s hand closer to his chest, leaning down to place a brief kiss to the back of it. “I appreciate the thought, y/n/n,” he said, something he’d worked on expressing instead of just the next comment he was about to make. “But, I don’t need your help,” Kaz said, “not with this”. He lowered y/n’s hand back down but kept a soft hold on it nonetheless. “I don’t need you to do things that make you feel bad. I don’t want you to feel like that,” Kaz said. He hated how simple and inelegant his words sounded, but he forced himself to remember that sharing such statements was still a positive progression for him.

“But, you shouldn’t have to feel that way either,” y/n argued. Her lips were slightly pouted as she sighed softly. She knew the toll this lifestyle took on her husband, even if he pretended otherwise.

Kaz suddenly looked away from y/n. He gently let go of her hand, setting it on the mattress before he stood up. Kaz made his way to the other side of their room in order to distance himself from y/n. “You don’t have to worry about that.” He shifted his tense jaw as he looked out their window at the trees. “It…” Kaz shook his head, “these things don’t bother me. I’m not a good person, y/n”.

Y/n scoffed loudly, instantly rising from the bed. “Yes you are,” she argued firmly as she made her way to Kaz.

“Dove,-“ Kaz sighed. His tone showed his appreciation for her argument but also his disagreement with it. Kaz kept his eyes on the trees outside their house, not able to look at his wife as he kept pointing out how he wasn’t worthy of her.

“No, it’s my turn”, y/n remarked. She stood before Kaz, partially blocking his view of the outside of their window. “This is my job, isn’t it,” she hummed tenderly, reaching for his hand. Y/n exhaled audibly as Kaz shook his head and continued to avoid her eyes.

“Your job isn’t to try to fix my ego,” Kaz argued even as y/n took hold of his hand. He hated himself for admitting his insecurities. Kaz knew y/n wanted him to do so whenever they came up, but it still wasn’t natural to him to do so. And now he also felt bad for placing such a burden on his loving wife.

Y/n laughed to herself for a second as she rolled her eyes lovingly. “I don’t think that needs fixing, Brekker,” she murmured, smiling up at Kaz as he unconsciously moved closer to her. “Maybe your opinion of your own morality,” she compromised, “but, we’ll get there”.

Kaz shook his head. He leaned forward, grabbing y/n’s other hand and looking down into her y/e/c eyes; the eyes that always calmed him and made him feel better. Kaz felt the corner of his lips curl up faintly. “Darling, my morality is non existent,” he declared firmly.

“That’s not true,” y/n promptly replied. She squeezed Kaz’s hands tightly. “You make plenty of moral decisions and judgements every day,” y/n defended. “Decisions I could never make, but that need to be made. I don’t pity you, Kaz, you know that,” she reassured him, “but, I don’t envy what you have to deal with either”. Y/n took in a deep breath as she gazed into Kaz’s uncertain eyes. “I’m not bothered by the fact that these things are emotionally numb to you by now,” she promised, knowing her husband far too well. “That’s normal, that’s how these things work. You have to do these things day in and day out. Life would be a whole hell of a lot harder if you let everything impact you the way it would those who have never had to do those things,” y/n explained. She pulled Kaz’s hands towards her chest, smiling as he shuffled closer. “It doesn’t change who you are or how I see you,” y/n vowed, gazing at Kaz lovingly.

Kaz swallowed thickly. “It doesn’t?” He asked, flinching as his voice cracked with emotion. “I-… I can’t react to anything appropriately… not the way you can,” Kaz pointed out as his eyes analyzed y/n’s to see if she was telling the truth. He knew y/n usually would be, but right now he couldn’t be sure.

“You’re wrong,” y/n said simply. She tilted her head to the right and teasingly acted as if she was thinking deeply. “Twice in one day, handsome. Aiming for a new record I see,” y/n hummed playfully. She smiled as Kaz scoffed lightly in response. “But, sincerely Kaz,…” y/n slowly let go of one of his hands. She then brought her now free hand up to brush some loose strands of chestnut hair from where they hung over Kaz’s left brow.

“Just last week,” y/n recalled warmly, “we saw that stray dog.” She let her thumb faintly brush over the skin just above Kaz’s eyebrow after she moved his hair out of the way. Y/N’s smile grew as Kaz’s cheeks flushed and his lips curled faintly despite clearly trying to remain stoic. “Honey, I saw the way your eyes warmed immediately and the joy you felt when it finally had a home when we brought it to Wylan and Jes’s place,” she informed her husband gently. “I saw the way you were suppressing a smile when I came to visit you as the club last night,” y/n continued, only having just begun her list of examples.

“Speaking of which, dove,” Kaz interrupted. His free hand shook infinitesimally as he rested it on y/n’s hip.

“I know,” y/n said, stopping Kaz from giving her another lecture. “I need to alert Rotty or you first, so someone can guard me on the way into the Barrel next time,” she smiled. “Even though that defeats it being a surprise,” y/n jokingly muttered under her breath, making Kaz smirk. “See,” she said, tone tender but serious again, “that right there, you watching out for me”.

“I’m forever going to do that, Y/n,” Kaz proclaimed. His fingers on y/n’s hip squeezed into her softly.

“I know,” y/n smiled. “But think about it, truthfully did you ever expect yourself to go out of your way like that for anyone?” She inquired, resting her free hand on Kaz’s shirt collar.

“No,” Kaz admitted. He laughed quietly, a small smile on his lips as he shook his head. “You were a plot twist I didn’t see coming,” Kaz explained.

Y/n smiled and pulled her bottom lip in between her teeth. “A good one?” She whispered. Normally it would be a rhetorical question, but after she’d embarrassed herself with her inability to fend for herself when trying to hold off two brawlers earlier today, she was slightly unsure.

Kaz’s face took on a bashful look. “G-“ he paused and forcibly swallowed. His cheeks flushed darker as he looked into y/n’s eyes before continuing. “Great one,” Kaz corrected.

Y/n hummed, her body releasing some pent up tension. She felt her body melt into Kaz’s hands more as she took his words to heart.

“I told you,” Kaz pointed out as he watched y/n’s reaction. “You’re my far better half, and I’m good with that arrangement.”

Kaz resisted a chuckle when y/n sighed in disagreement. “Just listen,” he spoke as softly as he could. “I appreciate everything you’re saying and doing, Y/n. But, I’ll forever be a million steps behind you in this regard,” Kaz acknowledged. “And I’m fine with that. But, I will never stop working on it for you; for us”. He felt like his face was on fire with how warm it had gotten as he confessed that out loud.

Y/n beamed lovingly at Kaz. She took her time leaning forward, giving him time to pull away before her forehead reached his. As y/n’s brows brushed against Kaz’s, she stared deeply into his eyes. “I love you,” she cooed peacefully.

Kaz took a quick but deep breath. He’d said it countless times before, but it still was new to him. Each time he said it, he could feel the full weight of the words. Kaz actually found that feeling to be a good one. Yet, it made him carry even more emotion when saying it and that was still something he was working on. But, as Kaz reminded himself it was y/n he was saying it too, and hearing her declaration of love for him echo in his mind, it somehow also felt effortless. “I love you too”.

Epilogue

Kaz grinned to himself as he watched y/n from a few feet behind her. He couldn’t take his eyes off of her. The way she was running gleefully though the field of wildflowers made his body feel warm and fuzzy. It had taken Kaz some time to realize that particular sensation was a good thing. But, by now, he was used to it and actually found it extremely comforting.

“Kaz!” Y/n cheered, a little giggle escaping her lips as another butterfly flew by her. “Come on!” She encouraged excitedly. Y/n extended her hands outwards towards where Kaz was.

Kaz chuckled happily as he watched the birds and butterflies flutter around y/n’s twirling body. He hummed contentedly as he made his way to her. Once he’d reached y/n, he set his bare hands in her palms that she was holding upwards expectantly.

Y/n beamed at her husband, her heart skipping a beat as he smiled back at her. She smirked before quickly spinning them around. She was attentively analyzing Kaz’s reaction to make sure she was not doing it in a way that would aggravate his bad leg. When he chuckled a bit louder than normal, his exposed fingers tightening their grip on her hands, y/n joined in his laughter with a wide smile.

After a few too many spins, y/n stopped so they could regain their balance. She felt Kaz’s hands resting on her waist tenderly to keep her steady as their laughter began to simmer down. Y/n looked up to find he was already staring at her. She bit her lip bashfully as she stared back, internally melting as they held affectionate eye contact.

Kaz waited until he could see the dizziness leave y/n’s face before he leaned forward. He closed his eyes as he pressed a soft and short, but nonetheless loving kiss to her warm lips. As much as Kaz wished he could do more, this was another big step he’d made; thanks to y/n. And as such, despite the desire to be able to kiss her longer, Kaz was ecstatic he could at least do this.

“You’re my far better half,” y/n whispered to Kaz. Her eyes were soft and full of love.

Kaz defiantly shook his head even as it rested against y/n’s forehead. “I’ll accept that I’m your other half,” he compromised, “by the inexplicable grace of whatever Saints Inej claims are out there.” Kaz’s hand shook lightly as his bare skin brushed against y/n’s cheek. “But, the far better half belongs to you, my love.”

Y/n sighed and shook her head in disbelief. She went to pull back when she felt the sight tremor in Kaz’s hands. But, when he silently pleaded her not to, she stopped. Y/n exhaled breathily as she tried to find a way to get it through to Kaz how much she disagreed with his viewpoint on the matter at hand.

Kaz watched as y/n began leaning in with her eyes still open. He noticed the way her eyes scanned his for approval or for a sign to stop. His heart swelled at the considerate gesture. Kaz smiled and nodded before closing his eyes y/n placed a delicate kiss on his lips.

As Kaz and y/n parted, he took a shaky breath. Yet, the trace tears in his eyes weren’t from feeling like he was drowning. It was the opposite; y/n was the one person who warmed his cold heart and made it feel as though he were floating. Y/n truly was his far better half, and that was a stance Kaz would defend until the end of time.

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[kazscrows]

Six of Crows Reread 🪶

Chapter 40: Nina

Poor Nina is practically naked right now-

…Matthias was dragging a limp, unconscious Kaz out of the shallows.

“Saints, is he breathing?” asked Nina.

Matthias flipped him onto his back none too gently and started pressing down on his chest with more force than was strictly necessary.

“I. Should. Let. You. Die,” Matthias muttered in time with his compressions.

Bahahaha—

I really want to see this on screen

Oh I forgot Nina actually gives him mouth to mouth-

Wow poor Kaz though this would really be horrible

He shoved her off of him, sucking in air.

“Get away from me,” he gasped, wiping his gloved hand over his mouth. Kaz’s eyes were unfocused. He seemed to be staring right through her. “Don’t touch me.”

“You’re in shock, demjin,” Matthias said. “You almost drowned. You should have drowned.”

Kaz coughed again, and his entire body shuddered. “Drowned,” he repeated.

Nina nodded slowly. “Ice Court, remember? Impossible heist? Near death? Three million kruge waiting for you in Ketterdam?”

Kaz blinked and his eyes cleared. “Four million.”

“I thought that might bring you around.”

Man was definitely having some flashbacks

Now it makes me think of Jordie forcing him underwater in the show

Just wave money under Kaz’s nose to revive him

And tell him the wrong amount

He can and will correct you

Nina threw up her hands. “You’re welcome, you ungrateful wretch.”

“I’ll thank you when we’re aboard the Ferolind. Move.” He was already dragging himself up the boulders that lined the far side of the gorge. “You can explain why our illustrious Shu scientist looks like one of Wylan’s school pals along the way.”

Nina shook her head, caught between annoyance and admiration. Maybe that was what it took to survive in the Barrel. You could never stop.

“He’s a friend?” asked Kuwei in skeptical Shu.

“On occasion.”

LMAO

The tank is coming and they don’t know what it is yet but this is all Kaz can say

“What do we do, Kaz?”

“Wait,” he said as the sound grew louder.

“How about ‘take cover’?” Nina asked, bouncing nervously from foot to foot. “‘Have heart’? ‘I stashed twenty rifles in this convenient shrubbery’? Give us something.”

“How about a few million kruge?” said Kaz.”

I’m living for Nina and Kaz’s back and forths

Always loved their sibling energy

He’s probably raising an eyebrow so high at her

A tank rumbled over the hill, dust and gravel spewing from its treads. Someone was waving to them from its gun turret – no, two someones. Inej and Wylan were yelling and gesturing wildly from behind the dome.

Nina let out a victorious whoop as Matthias stared in disbelief. When Nina looked at Kaz, she couldn’t quite believe her eyes. “Saints, Kaz, you actually look happy.”

“Don’t be ridiculous,” he snapped. But there was no mistaking it. Kaz Brekker was grinning like an idiot.

I really want to see this moment too

“We have a tank,” marvelled Nina. “Kaz, you creepy little genius, the plan worked. You got us a tank.”

“They got us a tank.”

I am cackling

Creepy little genius-

But also I love that Kaz doesn’t take credit

He knows he couldn’t have done it without Jesper, Wylan and Inej

And then… BOOM!

They blow up the bridge!

“We have a tank and a moat-“

“Climb on!” crowed Wylan.

Including this just because I like when the Crows crow

A girl in purple silk and a boy with red-gold curls poking out from behind the guns; four soaked people holding tight to the sides for dear life – a Shu boy in prison clothes, two bedraggled drüskelle, and Nina, a half-naked girl in shreds of teal chiffon shouting, “We have a moat!”

The duality of this quote versus the quote from Inej in chapter 28

Kuwei tilted his head back, his face bright with joy. “I can smell the sea,” he said happily.

You know I’ve never really thought much about Kuwei, but this got me

This poor kid fled his country, lost his father, then got imprisoned and forced to experiment with a dangerous drug

It’s quite tragic

Leigh Bardugo’s specialty

“Kaz?” called Jesper from inside the tank. “This would be a really good time to say you saw this coming.”

Kaz looked out over the sea of soldiers. “I didn’t see this coming.” He shook his head. “You told me one day I’d run out of tricks, Helvar. Looks like you were right.” The words were for Matthias, but his eyes were on Inej.

Oh my gosh why doesn’t anyone talk about this moment??

Kaz always looks to Inej

The last thing Kaz wants to see is Inej

He wants her to be his very last moment

His last memory…

Sobbing in Kanej 😭😭😭

“I’ve had my fill of captivity,” she said. “They won’t take me alive.”

“Me neither,” said Wylan.

Jesper snorted from inside the tank. “We really need to get him more suitable friends.”

“Better to go out with fists swinging than let some Fjerdan put me on a pike,” said Kaz.

Matthias nodded. “Then we agree. We end this here.”

Just. My crow babies—

I love them all

Nina’s about to make a huge sacrifice and save the day

She touched Matthias’ cheek briefly. “If it gets bad, find a way to end it, Helvar. I’m trusting you to do the right thing.” She smiled.

“Again.”

I am going to bawl my eyes out when this happens in the show

Oh my gosh—

Because.. if she didn’t do this…

She might’ve been able to save Matthias…

I’m sad so now all of you can be sad about this too 😭

She could see the true colour of Matthias’ eyes..

Everything made sense. Their bodies were a map of cells, a thousand equations, solved by the second, by the millisecond, and she knew only answers.

Jurda Parem is, once again, so incredible and terrifying

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#hey look! a Nina chapter review that was actually long? #they do exist! #six of crows #nina zenik #kaz brekker #inej ghafa #kanej #jesper fahey #matthias helvar #wylan van eck #shadow and bone #grishaverse #kazscrows #kazscrowsreadssoc

[sissytobitch10seconds]

Febuwhump 19: Listen to Me

Fandom: Grishaverse: Six of Crows and Shadow and Bone Summary: She's never heard Kaz sound so broken before. Warnings: Relationship issues, mentions of past violence, break ups, and hurt Word Count: 857 Ship(s): Inej Ghafa/Kaz Brekker

Archive link!

“I can’t believe that you would betray my trust this way!”

Inej didn’t even realize that the words were ripping through her throat before they were sitting out in the air. They sunk low and slow like flower petals that had been thrown from the top of a mountain and trying to get through the wind down to the base of the canyon. Her heart was beating up in her ears and her lungs were struggling to bring in enough air to feel grounded. She wanted to take them back as soon as they were out in the open, but there was nothing that she could do.

It tore her apart to see the way that Kaz’s always hard eyes melted so that they were watery. She had never seen his jaw go slack the way that it was now, his lips opened like he was going to say something but not a single sound passed through them. The harsh lines of his body were slowly quivering so that they became nothing more than a mash together.

He looked like a child that had been left out in the rain instead of the man that had done all of those horrible things. He was the one that had loaded the gun with those bullets, who had tucked it into his shirt when he had promised that he would come with no weapons. He was the one that had turned what was supposed to be a negotiation with some of the worst slavers in all of Ketterdam into a bloodbath.

Inej had seen him at his worst, when he had blood covering the white lines of his face and his eyes as harsh as the worst cup of coffee. She knew that he wasn’t only this, that he was two different kinds of people stacked into a single body. She wanted to take back what she had said because it wasn’t entirely what she was thinking, it wasn’t what she had really meant, but she was also terrified that if she did when she would lose the upper hand in their argument.

She was shaking now as the anger coursed through her. Inej had scraped her way out of her own indenture, killing people and threatening so many more, so she was never going to let others do the same. She had torn her body apart and made it so that her family would never take her back so that she could make sure that others didn’t go through what she had. He may have bought her the boat, he may have made the plan for her to raid the worst of the worst houses, but he had no right to do what he had done. He said that he was protecting her and the others, but really he was just acting with only his own intentions in mind. He had made the wrong move and now she was going to be making up for his mistake again.

Inej reminded herself of that over and over again so that she could keep her anger. She wasn’t going to let it drop and allow Kaz to go back on his way when he had done what he did. “What you’ve done cannot be undone, Kaz. It will have so many echoes that I will never stop hearing the sound of your gun!”

“I was doing it to keep you safe! Inej, look at him, he has a knife strapped to his belt. He was coming to kill you,” Kaz shouted. His voice was broken under the usual rocksalt rasp. She knew that he was broken, that he was panicking because she was pulling away from him in a way that she had promised she wouldn’t when they were younger. Times had changed, she had changed, and she supposed so had he.

“No, Kaz. I could have handled being stabbed and I could have used it against him. Do you really think so little of me? I’m not that waif of a girl that you pulled out of a pleasure house for being a little too silent at just the right time,” she snapped. “What you did cannot be undone, do you understand me?”

The lines of his face returned and the harsh darkness of his eyes was deeper than the longest nights in the furthest reaches of the earth. He stood tall as he said, “Yes.”

“I don’t think that we should work together any longer,” she said as she turned on her heel so that she could walk back to her crew and her boat. She would have to check to make sure that he hadn’t planted any spies there, that the people were working for her were loyal instead of feeding information back to the man that had betrayed her. 

He reached out, the bare creases of his fingers brushing against the inside of her wrist. It was the first time they had ever properly touched all over again, and it made her heart bleed. “Please, Kaz. Don’t do this.”

He dropped her hand just as quickly as he had taken it, and then she was gone.

#fanfiction #fanfic #writing #ao3 #archive of our own #six of crows #soc #shadow and bone #sab #kaz brekker #inej ghafa #kanej #kaz x inej #inej x kaz #break ups #fighting #febuwhump #febuwhump2024 #febuwhump day 19

[ell0ra-br3kk3r]

as a writer

https://at.tumblr.com/whorehalloween/crestfallen-on-the-landing/ons40qu4h3t1

<3

“why—i mean, i know that we’re still young but we’re almost in our late twenties and i know that our lifestyle is not ideal for having a life full of domesticity but we don’t have to do that—” y/n spoke rapidly, sounding like it hurt to speak, “—we can be kaz and y/n, stealing from the rich and living in the slat. why, kaz? why?”

kaz brekker didn’t have a reason.

he didn’t have a reason as to why he couldn’t say yes to her. he didn’t have a have a reason why it was so hard for him to finally accept something good and something pure and not tainted in life.

but because he was kaz brekker, he always had to get in the last world but this time, he almost wished saints cut his tongue cause nothing would ever make him forget the look on her face as he spoke.

“because in order to marry someone, you actually have to love them. we don’t have that.”

ouuuuch

“no! no. no, listen to me,” jesper started as took the ring out of her hand and placed it on her bedside table, “there’s nothing wrong with you. you’re perfect and anyone would so lucky to have you. kaz is an idiot who doesn’t know what’s in front of him and i’m telling you, he’s gonna regret it—letting you go, that is.

"now, chin up and get some rest,” jesper finished with a soothing smile as he stood up. “saints know you need.”

jes >>>

her whole body shook as she drew in shaking breathes—or at least tried to. before she could even inhale properly, another sob made its way out of her chest and it hurt all over again.

she felt the pain in her chest, in the stomach and in her head. it was excruciating and painful and the worst of it all was that she believed that it was fine.

it was fine because that was how she had expected it be—loving kaz.

she knew that she’d never have the that love that nina and matthias had or jesper and wylan and she was fine with it.

she had always thought that in that end, it’d be silencing screams and painful words and barbed wired voices. but she never would’ve thought that it’d be a muted decison, ragged breaths and silences that felt deafening.

as she drew in another shaky breath, she swore that for a moment, she wondered if this was what the poets meant by death by a broken heart.

you've broken my heart.. thanks for that haha

#event.as a writer

[introvertedelf]

Hello! I saw you want Kaz brekker smut requests. I love what you have wrote so far!

What about soft one one where Kaz, years after CK, has a thing with reader (pining or relationship, you can decide) and finds out that something has happened to reader, like for example; she lost a friend because that friend betrayed her trust and reader is sad because of it, she feels worthless and not wanted and he wants her to feel loved again, so he offers to make soft and gentle love to her. He gets to know that reader is virgin and she's very nervous and insecure about sex and thought of being naked in front of someone but they get around it anyway after Kaz promises to make sure to take his time and to make sure that reader is comfortable and that she feels good during whole thing. He doesn't do anything without asking for reader's consent. And when he has pushed himself inside of her, he places a lot of kisses on her mouth, neck and collarbone and praises her if she starts feeling insecure (he remembers how nervous he was during his first time and uses it as a reference, you can mention if he had a relationship with Inej or leave his previous partner nameless). Bonus points if they make love in missionary position and he cums inside of her after she asks him to but he makes sure she cums first. After their lovemaking Kaz cleans her up and cuddles her til she falls asleep on him.

I'm 20 and a virgin and I never find virgin smut which wouldn't be from a porn movie esp with my comfort characters so this would mean much to me but if you don't want to do it, it's okay. Please don't take any pressure! And I'm sorry about my english. I'm not native.

I love this request with all my heart. I’m not a virgin, but my first time was terrible and didn’t go the way I wanted…It’s so therapeutic for me to write soft virgin smut. Hope this helps🤗

Warnings(s): Virgin smut, fingering, mention of blood, OOC Kaz

Word Count: Over 2.6k

๛๛๛๛๛๛๛๛๛๛๛๛๛๛๛๛๛

YOUR POV

She betrayed me. My best friend of three years turned on me and ratted me out. I couldn’t believe it, I couldn’t understand. Why would a friend do that? Had I done something wrong? What the hell?

I was pulled from my thoughts when I heard a knock on my door.

“Y/N?” It was Kaz, my boyfriend. The Kaz Brekker, bastard of the barrel. He’d never exactly been the lovie dovie, touchy feely type, so I quickly wiped my tears so he wouldn’t notice. I figured seeing me crying would only make him uncomfortable.

“Come in,” I called, watching the knob twist to reveal Kaz in his signature suit and crow-headed cane limping in. He frowned when he saw me, no doubt noticing how puffy my eyes were. He stopped in front of me, looking down at me with a concerned expression.

“Y/N . . . What happened?” He asked, his voice surprisingly soft and caring. I sniffled, unable to stop the tears from falling once more. They were hot and violent as they streamed down my face.

I almost flinched when I felt Kaz sit beside me on the bed, his arms pulling me into his lap. He had worked on touch a lot, to the point where he could kiss, hold hands without gloves, and touch my bare skin.

“Shhh. It’s okay,” he cooed. “Tell me what happened, please.” I buried my head into his chest, inhaling his scent of whiskey, kruge, and some luxurious cologne that I loved so much.

“(Friends name) left me . . .” I sobbed, hating the way her name sounded coming out of my mouth. I felt him tense, his blood boiling.

“Why?” His tone was light, but you’d heard it before. When Kaz Brekker’s voice was too casually light, it meant murder.

“I don’t know . . . I feel so worthless.” He took hold of my chin at that, tilting my head up to look at him. The soft pads of his thumb wiped my tears from my flushed cheeks.

“Darling, listen to me,” he whispered. “You are not worthless. You mean so, so much to me. I know I don’t say it often. I know. But let me show you how much to you mean to me?” He questioned, looking at me with what seemed like pure adoration and love.

“You already are showing me.” I sighed, resting my head against his shoulder. He shook his head, pressing a kiss to my jugular.

“Sweetheart, let me make love to you.” My eyes widened in surprise. Tensing in his arms.

“Kaz—I’ve never . . .” You stammered, trying to find the way to tell him that you were a virgin.

“You’ve never had sex before?” He asked, shocked for some reason. You shook your head ‘no’, fearing that he wouldn’t want you anymore. He probably wanted a more experienced—

“Aw, sweetheart. It’s okay. We don’t have to do anything.” He brushed my hair out of my eyes. “Only when you’re ready.”

“I’m ready!” I intercepted, so eager it made him chuckle. “Please . . . Make love to me, Kaz Brekker.” I kissed him on his soft lips, him kissing me back so sweetly it made me swoon. His mouth tasted like whiskey and jurda, his taste making me moan into his mouth.

I felt his gloved fingertips brush against the hem of my shirt, his eyes looking at my own in a silent manner as if to say ‘it this okay?’

You nodded at him, taking his gloved hands in yours and tugging on the tips. Kaz had usually forgotten to take his gloves off at night, even. They were like second skin to him

He smiled softly at me, pulling off the leather and exposing his smooth, beautiful hands to me. Long, thick fingers that made me involuntary clench down on nothing. Kaz cupped my face in his, pressing his lips to mine again.

His other hand trailed down to my chest, finding one of my breasts and giving it a squeeze, feeling my nipple harden through my shirt. He slid it off of me, my arms covering my bare breasts. He shook his head, gently taking my wrists in his hands and uncovering me.

“Beautiful . . .” He murmured, cupping my breast in his hand, palming at it and then gently squeezing the nipple between his warm fingers. My mouth formed an ‘o’ and Kaz smirked.

“Feel good, baby?” He asked rhetorically, gently pushing me down then on the bed. He looked like a god above me, removing his own shirt to expose his muscles and scars that littered his abs. I had seen him shirtless countless numbers of times, but this was . . . Different.

He then came to stand in between my legs, his fingers pulling on the waistband of my pants.

“Can I take these off, angel?” He questioned, wanting to make sure I was completely comfortable.

“Yes,” I said firmly. I wanted him to know that you wanted this just as badly as he did.

I lifted your hips for him as he slid the pants down, leaving me only in my white cotton underwear. Dammit, I cursed mentally. I should have worn something sexier had I known—

“So gorgeous, look how wet you are for me,” he trailed his finger down my bare stomach slowly, eyes on the drenched cotton covering my sex. He was cautious to always observe the expression on my face, not wanting to make me uncomfortable for one moment.

“Please . . .” I begged, pushing my hips up towards his finger as it got to the apex of my thighs.

He pressed his thumb against my swollen clit, smirking at my facial expression as he did so. “Here?”

“Yes! Please—“ Pleasure swarmed inside of me as he massaged my clit in circles, sitting on his knees and putting his face closer to my core.

He continued to do that for a while, until I was practically begging him to put his fingers inside of me.

“Want me to take these off now?” He asked, hooking his thumbs on the band of the underwear, pulling them down my legs after I nodded.

I heard him audibly growl when my bare cunt was exposed to his hungry eyes, glistening in the warm candlelight.

I felt embarrassment burn on my cheeks from being so exposed, only for him to quickly notice.

“Hey. I was nervous for my first time, too. I promise it’s perfectly normal. You’re the most beautiful girl I’ve ever laid eyes on.” He kissed me, rubbing my blushing cheeks reassuringly.

“So pretty . . .” He trailed his pointed finger from my entrance to my clit, going back down and inserting it inside of me carefully.

I inhaled sharply at the intrusion, causing him to stop and look at me in concern.

“Are you okay, sweetheart?” He panicked, not moving his finger a single centimeter.

“Yeah—it just felt really good.” He smirked, carefully pulling his finger out, then pushing it back in and hitting a spot inside of me that I’d felt before with my own fingers. Even then, Kaz’s fingers felt a million times better. They were long and could reach places inside me that I’d never touched.

My pussy made a squelching sound as he thrusted that finger in and out, attempting to put in another one. I felt a slight jab of pain, but it soon melded in to pleasure.

“So tight, baby. Those fingers didn’t ever stretch you much, huh?” He groaned, no doubt imagining what I’d feel like impaled on his cock. Speaking of, it had to be throbbing by now.

He used his free hand to massage my clit again, bringing me closer and closer to the edge.

“Can you take a third? I need to prep you as much as possible for you to take me more comfortably,” he admitted, pulling out of me waiting for my response. Hesitantly, I nodded moaning out loud as all three of his fingers were put inside of me.

As soon as the tip of his tongue brushed against my clit, I was done for. I came with a wail, clenching down on his fingers so hard I wondered if he could even take them out in that moment.

“Good girl. That’s it,” he cooed, riding me out until I came down from my high.

“That . . . That was amazing,” I breathed heavily, meeting his lips for a kiss before he stood up and dropped his pants.

His hard, pretty cock sprung out, smacking him on his pelvis. It looked so big—it must have been at least seven inches. And it was thick, with veins running up to the angry pink tip.

He must have noticed my worry, as he stood between my legs to bend down and kiss my temple soothingly. “Don’t worry, princess. I’ll take good care of you,” he mumbled.

“Y/N, are you sure? I won’t be mad even remotely if you don’t want to today. I can wait as long as it takes, for you.” He admitted, scared to do something I’d just regret.

“I . . . I want to, Kaz. I do. I’m just scared, won’t it hurt?”

“I’m not going to lie to you. It will hurt, but only for a moment. You might bleed a little, too. That is why we’re doing it in missionary, though. It’s easiest for virgins. After you adjust, it will be the best thing you’ve ever felt in your life,” he trailed down, fingers running up my dripping core again. His length twitched. I looked at him in the eyes, nodding fiercely. He smiled, kissing my nose cutely as he took hold of his cock.

He pumped it a few times, lubricating it by rubbing it up and down my slick folds a few times. With one last questioning look from me and my nod, he started to push in.

I gripped his shoulders so hard with my nails I worried they would bleed. The stretching pain was hot and searing, making me shy away from his thrust.

“Shhh, it’s okay. I know. It’s okay,” he whispered, kissing my collar bones and neck, finally pressing his lips against my own.

I looked down to see that only the bulbous head of him was inside of me. He waited for me to adjust patiently, whispering things like ‘you’re so beautiful’ and ‘you’re doing great, I promise it will be over soon’ in my ear.

After what seemed like hours, I finally nodded to him. He thrusted the last bit of his length into me until the soft curls of his public hair brushed against me.

“Ah!” I yelled when he was fully seated inside of me, never feeling so stuffed in my life.

“Saints—you feel so damned good, Y/N,” he groaned. “Take your time, sweetheart,” he assured me, kissing my temple sweetly and staying put inside of me.

Eventually, I looked up at my beautiful boyfriend and nodded, lifting my hips to get some friction. Even that little movement caused a wave of pleasure to disperse throughout my whole body. My eyes rolled back into my head, mouth open.

Kaz thrusted in slow, deep movements, his cock brushing against my g-spot each time. He started picking up the pace, his balls now slapping against my skin, a lewd sound of sex filling the heavy air.

“You’re doing so well, fuck you feel even better than I imagined . . .” He kissed me then, his lips searing down on mine, his tongue dominating my own quickly.

I looked down to watch him sliding in and out of me and saw a thin layer of red blood coating his cock. I gulped, him looking at my trail of sight and stopping for a moment.

“Sweetheart, it’s okay. It’s normal. Just a little blood. And I, out of all people, am not afraid of a little blood,” he winked, soothingly stroking my hand.

I reached down to rub my clit, only for him to grab my wrist and put it back down, rubbing me himself. I felt my core clench down on his length the moment his fingers began rubbing, causing him to growl deeply.

“I’m getting close,” he breathed. “I’m not cumming until you do.” Ever the gentleman he was, even when he was seven inches deep inside of me. I feverishly nodded, back arching off the bed and feeling an intensely familiar coil near snapping inside of me.

“Kaz—“ I warned, biting my lip.

“I know. I know baby, go ahead,” he praised me, rubbing and thrusting and fucking faster.

“Ah!” The coil snapped, sending a shockwave throughout my insides, milking his cock as I clenched down on him like a vice.

“Good girl—“

I knew he was close by the way his cock twitched inside of me. Before he could, I stopped him.

“Cum inside of me, please,” I begged, wanting to have all of him. He looked at me, confirming that’s what I really wanted. I nodded, eyelids still heavy from my orgasm.

Sure enough, Kaz came shortly after with a low groan, still working me through the remains of my own climax.

I felt his hot seed spray inside of me, coating my insides white. It was so pleasurable . . .

Only the sounds of heavy breathing and two thudding hearts was found in the air as Kaz laid down beside me, pulling me into his arms carefully.

His softening member was still inside of me, keeping the semen from leaking out onto the sheets.

He traced the bridge of my nose soothingly, pushing my hair out of my now-sweaty face.

“Are you alright, my love?”

“Mhmm, that was perfect, Kaz,” I replied, pressing a chaste peck to the corner of his mouth.

“Does anything hurt?”

“Just a little sore maybe . . .” I smirked, cuddling into his warm chest.

“Hmm, I wonder why,” he teased.

“I’m proud of you, you know.”

“What do you mean?” He asked, confused. I responded by taking one of his bare hands in mine, kissing his pale fingertips.

“You’ve come so far . . . It’s amazing.”

“I . . . I couldn’t have done it without you, Y/N. I can never repay you.”

“I think you just did,” I smiled, flashing him a coy grin. He shook his head, tutting.

“Once a minx, always a minx.”

“You love it,” I laughed.

“No. I love you,” he spoke honestly, looking not into my eyes but my soul.

“I love you, too. Thank you.”

We sat there for a few more moments, idly stroking each other’s bare skin before he pulled out of me. I yelped a little, the area indeed sore.

He watched with fascination as his cum mixed with my blood leaked out of me before heading to the bathroom, butt naked to get a damp cloth.

I heard his footsteps approach as he gently laid the cool fabric on my exposed sex, wiping his seed off of me. I jumped a little at the contact, only for him to stop, take my hand in his, and continue.

It felt nice after a while, and left all too soon. He threw the cloth in the hamper after wiping himself clean as well, laying down next to me.

This time, he picked me up so that I was laying stomach-down on top of him, his arms wrapped around my waist.

“Aren’t I too heavy to do this?” I asked, concerned.

“No, darling. You’re just right. You feel good so close to me like this,” he admitted, feeling safe and comforted.

I fell asleep quickly to the soft beating of his heart and deep breathing into a blissful dreamland. 

#kaz brekker smut #Kaz Brekker x reader virgin #kaz brekker x y/n #kaz brekker imagine #kaz brekker x reader smut #kaz smut #kaz x y/n #kaz x you #six of crows #shadow and bone

[parkersbliss]

Diamonds | K. Brekker

pairing; kaz brekker x female!reader

warnings: cursing, I think that’s it

wc; 2.3K

synopsis: dirtyhands doesn’t need anyone, but he wants you, even if he can’t have you

prompts: 001: “why do you care?” 047: “please just let me in.”

a/n: this went in a very different direction then I planned but I love it??

Masterlist | Taglist | Prompt List

—

Kaz Brekker was a lot of things.

Emotionally unavailable was one of them.

But you never thought much of it. You didn’t think less of him because of that. Surviving the barrel meant being cold, ruthless, and cunning.

Everyone had to have some dark side to them. It was a given.

But Kaz’s dark side never turned off. He was always in a constant state of brooding, thinking about all the ways the plan could fail or coming up with a new heist.

His brain never shuts off.

You never considered that a bad thing, but everyone has to rest eventually.

But rest wasn’t a word in Kaz’s dictionary. For him, resting meant thinking about other things.

Things that he wanted to forget.

So he busied himself with work, numbers, and other things to push the other thoughts out of his mind. Sometimes they were about Jordie and the harbor, sometimes they were about Rollins or you.

Kaz never wanted to forget you, but he didn’t want to think about you either. About the way, your lips curved up into a smile every time Jesper threw his arm around you. Or the way you throw your head back every time Nina makes a joke, the way you sit patiently with Wylan when he tries to read, the way you train so gracefully with Inej, and the way you make fun of Matthias’ accent.

He wants to push it all out of his mind because he doesn’t understand it. He doesn’t get how he manages to notice every detail about you.

It would cost him eventually, which is why he didn’t think about it. It’s why he tried to busy himself with things that have nothing to do with you.

But sometimes, it doesn’t always work out that way.

It was moments like these where Kaz is in a constant state of don’t fuck up and don’t say anything.

Which never goes in his favor.

The plan was simple, break-in and walk-out. There were three separate sections to the museum, and the event kept everyone pretty busy.

All you had to do was get in, steal a few jewels and then blend in with the crowd for the rest of the night.

It should be easy enough.

You all dress in your best attire, at least, the best attire that wouldn’t slow you down if you have to run. Kaz’s breath hitches in his throat when he sees you. Silky fabric, exposed skin, and all your beauty.

He nods at you as you fall into step behind him.

“You look nice,” You said.

“Thank you. So do you.”

You all find yourself in an ally by the museum as Inej scales the roof for her way in. You know she’s successful when the back entrance pops open, and she leans against the door frame with a satisfied smile on her face; her green dress trails along the floor as you make your way inside.

Bright fluorescent lights illuminate the hallway, and the sound of heels and Kaz’s cane echo down it. Kaz pick locks the three doors with ease, signaling for the groups of you to go in.

Matthias and Nina are responsible for the smaller riches, Inej, Wylan, and Jesper take care of replacing them, and you and Kaz get the big stuff.

The room sparkles with diamonds, almost blinding you. To Kaz, it smells like money. For each piece stolen, the two of you replace it with a cheaper place holder.

By the time anyone noticed, you would be gone.

You grab a ring off a stand, slipping it on and examining it in the light.

Kaz coughs, and you turn to face him.

He holds the most expensive piece in his hand, a diamond necklace.

It’s worth more than a quarter of a million kruge.

“Woah,” you breathe out. The diamonds are arranged in such a way that it sits close to the neck, and looks like small interconnected leaves.

“Wear it,” Kaz said.

“Kaz-”

“You would look… pretty with it,” The last part is barely above a whisper.

“Okay,” You agree, taking the piece from his hands. Your fingers barely brush his gloved ones as you take the necklace, clasping it around your neck.

Then, Kaz steps back. “I think we got most of it.”

You can’t take all of the riches, but you can take enough to make some serious bank. You exit the room, Kaz locking it after, and meet back in the hallway with everyone else. Inej and Nina both drip in equal expenses and gasp when they see your necklace.

“I almost want to keep it,” You said, touching the diamonds.

“It does look stunning on you,” Nina said.

“I’m sure we have enough to keep that piece,” Inej said, gesturing to the jewelry between you all.

“I do not understand the need for stones to prove one’s worth,” Matthias said.

Nina pats his shoulder, “It’s like you Fjerdans and your fur coats.”

"Witch," Matthias mumbled under his breath.

Kaz takes the lead, directing you to the main room. You can hear the sounds of people chattering, classical music floating in the air. You all split into smaller groups, mostly pairs, to avoid detection.

You and Kaz stay towards the center of the room, observing everyone else and waiting till the event ends.

As Kaz’s eyes sweep the ballroom, yours sweep over his face, familiarizing yourself with his features.

He has sharp cheekbones, fair skin, and a pointed nose. His lips are drawn down into the softest frown, and there are bags under his dark eyes. His eyebrow twitches ever so slightly whenever he sees someone he doesn’t like, and he runs a gloved hand through his hair, slicking it back more if it’s possible.

He was beautiful.

After a few more moments of mingling, they prepare to bring the jewelry out on display. You and Kaz back towards the exit, just in case something goes wrong.

The fake one sparkles just the same, and a clear difference can’t be seen. It’s only glass that Wylan had managed to craft by himself.

The servant gulps, taking careful steps with the case in his hand. His hands shake, and as he takes the first step up the stairs, he stumbles.

It shatters.

The glass scatters across the floor, the fake necklace you planted aside does the same, the pieces landing everywhere.

You can practically feel Kaz tense next to you when the crowd gasps; actual diamonds wouldn’t break.

“Don’t move,” Kaz whispers. He makes a hand gesture to the rest of the Dregs around the room that means remain still. “Act just as surprised.”

On any other occasion, it would be easy, but when the original necklace is dangling from your neck, it’s like an open target for anyone with eyes. Murmurs flow through the crowd, but no one pays any mind to the Dregs because you all look like you belong here. They’re looking for the black sheep among the white.

But they all look just the same.

“We will be conducting manual searches,” The guards announce.

“Saints,” You whisper, hand instinctively grabbing the diamonds on your neck.

“Plan B,” Kaz said. He meets Jesper’s eyes across the room, nodding his head, and Jesper smirks. He grabs one of his revolvers, firing a single shot and tucking it away before anyone notices. The crowd screams, everyone rushing to the exits as more shots are fired from various parties (some from Jesper, some from guards, or others who just love chaos).

You all make a run for it, using the main exit where guards were desperately trying to keep everyone in.

You watch Inej slip through with ease, Nina and Mattias next. Jesper gets held up, but he managed to talk his way out of it as Wylan tugs on his sleeve.

You and Kaz are last, taking your time to avoid being pushed in by the crowd. You could run ahead, get out before Kaz, but you don’t.

You stay by his side and maintain the slow pace, even when there’s a quarter of a million kruge hanging from your neck.

As you approach the exit, you’re one foot out when someone grabs your arm.

“I got her!” The guard shouts. He starts dragging you back inside as you try to dig your heel into their foot.

Then, in the span of a second, a cane comes down on his arm, a clear snap ringing out.

You stumble from their grasp, unknowingly using Kaz’s shoulder to steady yourself. He hisses but says nothing more because as soon as you notice, you let go.

“Nina!” You scream as the guards come pouring out the entrance.

It was clear who the target was.

The heartrender holds up her hands, effectively dropping their beat, but you underestimate how many there are.

“Run!” Jesper shouts.

And you do as you’re told. The guards open fire, and you bunch your dress in your hands, running through the streets of Ketterdam. Kaz begins to fall behind, and you slow down your pace.

“Jes, throw me a revolver!”

“What?”

“Throw it!”

Wylan rolls his eyes, fishing the gun from his boyfriend’s pocket and tossing it at you.

“What are you doing?” Kaz said.

“Saving your ass!” You reply.

“I don’t need your saving!” Kaz retorts, glaring at you.

You roll your eyes, “Fine, I’m covering you.”

“I don’t need that either.”

“Kaz-”

“I don’t need you!”

You nod, turning away from him to hide the hurt on your face. “No, of course, you don't."

You fire a single shot at a guard, busying yourself in taking a few out, so Kaz doesn’t get hit. When he’s a good way ahead, you sprint after the rest of the Dregs. You see the tail of Jesper’s coat disappear down an alleyway.

You fire one last round of shots and duck behind it. You move past Kaz, catching up with Jesper and thanking him.

He smiles, bumping your shoulder. “Anything for the lady.”

The slat is in sight, and you sigh in relief, happy to rest and unload all the jewels everyone is dripping in.

You could only imagine the amount of kruge you’d come up with.

Jesper opens the door for the Dregs, and you all practically collapse on the couch. You Nina and Inej are all on one, kicking off your heels.

“I hate heels,” You said.

“You’re telling me,” Inej replied. “Never again.”

Nina shrugs, “Annoying as hell, but they do work in place of a knife every now and then.”

“I am never without my knives.”

“We know.”

Kaz walks past you all, limping a bit worse than usual and going up to his office.

You don’t bother following after him. Instead, you all dump the jewelry on the table.

“Oh, saints,” Inej gasped.

Jesper leans back in his seat, “I think we’re set.”

“You’ll gamble it all away before we even cash it in,” Matthias said as Jesper scoffed.

“It’ll take me at least a few months to lose that.”

“Months?” Wylan asked.

“Like six tops.”

Everyone begins to argue, and you tune them out. You forgot about the most expensive piece hanging from your neck, absentmindedly playing with it. When you remember, you figure the best thing to do with it is give it up to Kaz.

With a sigh, you stand up, the fabric of your dress falling back into place.

You don’t bother knocking on his door, you know you should, but you didn’t care all that much.

“Here’s your necklace,” You said bitterly, dropping it on his desk.

“(Y/N)-”

“A quarter of a million kruge, enough to set you for life. That’s all you need, isn’t it?”

“I didn’t mean that.”

“Sure felt like it,” You snap.

“I just-,” Kaz sighed, avoiding your gaze. “Keep the necklace.”

“I don’t want it.”

“You don’t?” Kaz asked, eyebrows raised. “I thought you liked it. You should have it if that’s the case.”

“Why do you care?”

“I don’t.”

You click your tongue, “Keep the fucking necklace, Kaz.”

Kaz curses himself, tugging at his hair. He was making the situation much worse. He didn’t know what to say that wouldn't piss you off. He thought the necklace would be like a peace offering, a sign of his thanks.

It backfired on him.

He’s bordering the line of being cold or grateful. When grateful didn’t work in his favor, he went for the other.

“I want you to have it.”

“I don’t want it.”

“Please, take it.”

“It’s worth money. That’s far more important to both of us.”

Kaz shuts his eyes, “(Y/N), please.”

And you know this isn't about the necklace anymore. It never really was.

You shake your head, crossing your arms over your chest. You were tired of pretending to brush off your feelings. It was killing you. Every time you tried to do something, Kaz pushed you back. You couldn't keep doing this to yourself.

“You either want this, or you don’t. Which one is it?”

“Please,” he said softly.

You sigh, blinking harshly. Your heart hammers in your chest. You take a breath, trying to calm yourself.

“Kaz, I need you,” You said softly, “Please just let me in.”

“I can’t,” He said, voice strained as he fights his demons. God, he wants to, but he's scared. He's scared of pushing you away or hurting either of you in the process. He couldn't go through that kind of loss again.

“I will wait,” You said. “I will wait as long as you need. I just need to know that you’re in this too.”

Kaz meets your eyes. His are glassy as he holds the necklace tightly in his hands, running his gloved fingers over the diamonds.

He could lose you.

And that is far worse than not having you at all.

He slowly peels his gloves off. His movements are slow and deliberate, taking his time. When they’re off, he grabs the necklace and stands up.

You hold your breath as he stands behind you, brushing your hair out of the way. His fingers just barely dance across your skin, but they’re there.

He clasps the necklace, and you turn around to face him.

“Kaz?” You question.

“I need you too, (Y/N).”

“I’m not leaving," You assure him.

“Good. We’re in this.”

“We’re in this.”

#IM OBSESSED WITH HIM #I love kaz #I am speedrunning this requests #hehe #kaz brekker fanfic #kaz brekker x you #kaz brekker x reader #kaz brekker fluff #kaz brekker imagine #kaz brekker one shot #kaz brekker angst #kaz brekker #grishaverse #six of crows imagine #six of crows #soc #crooked kingdom #shadow and bone #s&b

[goldengoddess]

kaz brekker calling you angel

request: heyy. i really need to read something where kaz calls reader "angel". just that. the rest is up to you x

a/n: YES YES YES,,,, this is short but yeah omg i love kaz and this nickname 

warning: injury, hospital, recovery, cursing 

the world was spinning. and everything hurt. or maybe nothing hurt. you weren’t sure if you could feel nothing or feel every part of your body burning in pain. 

you opened your eyes and immediately closed them because the light was too bright. everything around you was white and clinical, the world smelled of cheap hand sanitiser with a touch of ketterdam air. 

you opened your eyes, slowly, to give yourself time to adjust to the bright light. you turned your neck to the side, every muscle in your body screaming in protest. you observed one side of the room, taking in what looked like one of the cheap hospitals in the city.

you were covered in bandages, but still wearing the clothes from your last job, now covered in what you assumed was your own blood.

the job. 

oh fuck, the job. 

you tried to sit up, wincing in pain as you felt the left part of your stomach ache at your sudden movement.

“angel?”

you turned your head to the other side of your hospital bed. finding the bastard of the barrel curled up into himself, sitting in a tiny chair.

his hair was dishevelled, and you knew that had run his fingers through it in frustration the way he always did when he was anxious. he had clearly been sleeping, that ‘oh i just woke up and i’m disoriented as hell’ look sketched onto his face. 

but because this is kaz, he quickly got alert. 

he sat up in his chair abruptly. moving himself closer to you, even though the chair he was sitting in was practically pressed up against the bed already. 

“what happened?” you croaked out, but your voice sounded like a stranger’s. it sounded like someone who smoked two packs a day and hadn’t drank water in months.

but kaz let out a sigh of relief at the sound of your voice anyways. his shoulders relaxed slightly as if your voice was some kind of tether to his reality or some kind of reminder of safety.  

“you got hurt on the job. the plan went wrong. the dime lions had more people than we expected and-”

“and one of them moved at you and i jumped in front of the blade. rightfully getting myself, stabbed in the side.” you suddenly remembered aloud. 

you tried to let out a chuckle and flinched in the process. 

kaz flinched as well, running his gloved hands through his hair. “yeah. that’s exactly what you did.”

you gave him a sheepish smile and leaned back onto your pillow, forcing your body to relax. 

“angel” he said, his voice cracking. “why would you do that” he whispered so low you almost didn’t catch it.

you rolled your eyes, “kaz, love, i love you. it didn’t even occur to me to do anything else. you mess with my natural survival instincts dirtyhands.”

he chuckled lowly. he looked up at you, his eyes clouded with worry and regret. regret that he hadn’t done more? that he hadn’t been able to protect you. 

before he could get a word in, blame himself, tell you how stupid you were, you opened your mouth. “brekker, before you say something stupid, don’t. im lying in a hospital bed in a lot of pain and all i need right now is comfort and probably some food.”

he pulled his lips into a thin line but nodded his head. 

you moved to the far side of your hospital bed, leaving him room to take a seat. he understood your intention and claimed into the bed, leaving enough room between the two of you that only your shoulders were touching through the fabric of his black coat.

you grabbed his one of his gloved hands and slowly pulled of the glove, watching his reaction. when he gave you a nod you pulled it off completely, setting it aside. you linked his pinkie with yours and dropped your joined hands in the space between your bodies. 

the two of you smiled down at your hands.

“i’m glad you’re okay angel. you’re not allowed to leave me just yet.”

#Kaz Brekker #kaz brekker x reader #kaz brekker x you #kaz brekker imagine #six of crows #six of crows imagine #shadow and bone #soc #jesper fahey #nina zenik #matthias helvar #wylan van eck #inej gahfa

[yesimwriting]

The Promise of Rain

A/n finally writing that Kaz Brekker x reader angsty-fluff where the reader is all sunshine-y and Kaz is dramatic as always lol 

Might make this a blurb series bc i like this dynamic so much lol

Pairing: Kaz Brekker x sunshine-y reader 

Summary: After a mission gone wrong, Kaz has a conversation with the reader (who’s a runaway princess) about what happens to people who stay near him. 

-- 

He once said that he didn’t believe in Saints. A moment later he conceded that perhaps they existed in order to appease Inej, but he was quick to tact on that if Saints existed they didn’t care about him. Inej and I had exchanged a look, she pleaded with me in silence to let him be. I opened my mouth despite the look in her eyes, but he had walked away before I could get any words out. 

He believes that the Saints don’t care about him, but as soon as he was dragged in by Jesper, bleeding and more broken than usual, it had started to rain. The rain is a promise. The rain is a sign that he will wake up. 

I tap a finger against the forgotten book on my lap, ignoring the dried blood I’ve been too anxious to wash off. When Kaz wakes up he’ll either scold me or partially tease me for waiting here by his bedside. The rain continues, cascading down invisible hope. 

“Save your prayers, even for you the Saints won’t regard me.” Kaz. His voice is raspier than it should be and his slight condescension is blighted by the tired flatness of it. But it’s him. He’s speaking. 

I tear my gaze away from the window, almost forgetting to tamper down my relief before finally looking at him. I haven’t known him long enough to see him in any level of defeat, but I’ve heard enough stories. The fictional exaggeration of those that fear him have made him seem so immortal. Some part of me must have internalized that because to see him like this, to see him so human is too intimate. 

“Don’t be so narcissistic.” Something about Kaz always leaves me feeling challenged, like each comment is some kind of dare. I adjust my posture. “I wasn’t praying because I knew you’d be okay.” 

His expression is unchanging. “So much faith in me?” 

There’s a soft edge to his words, an attempt to twist some kind of awkward denial out of me. Some days I don’t think Kaz enjoys anything and then other days I think he enjoys any misstep in my words. 

I shrug, pushing down the flood of relief still attempting to crawl out of my chest. “You’re always okay.” I scratch the back of my wrist idly. “It seems the safe bet.” 

“Don’t tell me you’ve been taking gambling advice from Jesper.” 

I half roll my eyes. “No--Jesper and I don’t play together anymore.” I let out an easy sigh. “Last time I beat him he bordered on a hissy fit.” There’s the slightest hint of upturning at the corners of his lips. “I should go tell Jesper and Inej you’re awake.” 

“I think you should change out of that dress first.”

He was more likable when I thought he might die at any second. “Wow--Kaz Brekker the professional stylist.” He has no right to judge the formal gown I’m in. Yes, my outfit is ridiculous, but I’m only wearing it because the Crows needed someone they knew at a merchant’s party for a part of some scheme they wouldn’t share the details of with me. “Yes, I’m aware that this dress is more tulle than anything else, but I’m only wearing it because I was helping you.” 

I wait for some retort about how he could have managed without my assistance or some kind of comment about how I didn’t need such a large dress to flirt and distract the guards as the Crows snuck into the merchant’s private office. “You fit in there more than you said you would.” 

From anyone else, I’d consider this an insult. “I was making an effort for the sake of your plans.” 

“I saw you before I went into the office, you knew the dances, the man took your hand.” 

That’s the weirdest observation I’ve ever witnessed someone reflect on. “That’s how those dances tend to work.” I don’t hide the confusion in my expression. “How much blood did you lose?” 

Kaz’s piercing gaze drops to the blanket on his lap. “Not a concerning amount.”

“Why do I feel like we have different definitions of ‘concerning’?” 

His eyes flit upwards, a partial smirk playing at his lips. “We define a lot of things differently.” He pauses, “You defined the life you slipped into so easily tonight as something you could never do.” 

“I can’t.” What is his problem? “One dance is different than an eternity of planning teas and marrying some man who only keeps me so I can rear his children.” 

“You’d end up marrying someone who could give you things.”

He better not be implying I should be having children. I’m seriously starting to hope he did lose a significant amount of blood because that would be some kind of explanation. “I don’t want anyone to be giving me children right now, but I guess your concern is ni--”

“No, no,” he screws his eyes shut for a long second, “You know what I meant.” I stay silent. “You’re technically a princess, y/n, you could have more than the Barrel.” There’s an odd silence as he pauses. “Someone like you should have more than the Barrel.” 

He speaks like his word is law. That’s the one habit of his I can never seem to forgive. Is Kaz telling me to go home? To go back to a mother who dreams of marrying me off and a father with a temper that often leads to violence? He may be Dirtyhands, but he is no one to tell me who to go back to. Not after I risked my anonymity to get him into that merchant’s office. 

I shut my book and stand in one swift motion. “I’m going to tell Jesper and Inej that you’re awake.”

“Y/n.” I ignore him. “Y/n.” Again, I ignore him, approaching the doorway. The rustling of sheets leaves me frozen, hand on the doorknob. “Y/n.” 

Without thinking, I turn on my heels while glaring. There’s no way he’s proud enough to have climbed out of bed wi--and he’s standing. Standing almost directly behind me. 

“Kaz Brekker, I am going to say this one time and one time only.” I keep my words measured and my tone flat. No room for argument. “You just had nine stitches put in near your heart, get your ass back in bed before that is no longer your only injury.” 

He pauses, lips pressed together into a tight white line. And then his mouth opens, pried open by an oddly light sound. Did he just--Did Kaz Brekker just laugh? He doesn’t laugh. I didn’t think he was physically capable, and now he laughs while I’m threatening him? I should hit him on principle alone and damn the consequences. 

“Did you--” I’m gaping at him with a rage I am not accustomed to. “Did you just laugh?” 

Kaz is quick to shut his mouth. “You did swear you’d get me to laugh one day.” 

Saints--now he chooses to have some kind of sense of humor. “Not while I was threatening you for being an idiot after saying my lineage means that I’m meant to be trapped in the life I desire least.” 

“I didn’t say that.” I raise an eyebrow. “You don’t deserve more than this because of your family, you deserve more than this because--” He cuts himself off with a sharp sigh. “Do you remember what happened the day we met?” 

He had wanted to return me to my father for the money. I had managed to convince him I could be more useful working for him without profit. The first day had been tense, I had sworn to myself that I would hate him forever. 

“I remember really hating you.” I remember thinking him beautiful despite his darkness. “I remember it started raining on our way here.” 

“You had a hood, but you pushed it off your head to feel the rain.” I don’t remember that because indulging in the rain is instinctual to me. “You looked at the rain, and you smiled--and then you saw a woman with a child and you took off your hood and gave it to them.” 

“What does that have to d--” 

“Watching that felt like intruding on an intimate moment I had no business knowing about, but it wasn’t that to you. That moment was nothing to you because that moment was who you are.” 

I don’t understand what he sees in something I can barely remember. “Kaz, what does that have to do with anything?” 

“I’m the monster that children believe live under their beds, I’m the bastard of the Barrel, I’m someone who gets blood on everything near them.” His gaze is harsher than I’ve ever seen it as he focuses on the dried blood splotched across my hands and arms. “And then I can’t even help you wash it off.” 

Those last words are the closest to broken I’ve ever heard him sound. “Kaz--”

“And you’re the girl who looks at the rain like it’s a gift from the Saints.” 

Is he implying what I think he’s implying? Even if I believed him such a source of evil, even if I felt like touch mattered that much--why would he care? I keep the much more frightening implication at bay as I exhale. Clarity will only make this conversation worse. “That doesn’t matter.” The words leave me in a low whisper. 

I stare at the ground until his silence is something I can no longer bear. Looking up as cautiously as possible, I take in his expression. I’ve never seen him look so--so enraged. “It doesn’t matter?!” He doesn’t bother hiding the fact that he’s practically seething. “I’ve viewed your presence here as temporary since you first came and despite that, when I saw you there…” The breath he lets out is practically pained. “When I saw what your life is meant to be--I didn’t want you to go.” 

The admission breaks something hard in my chest. “I never wanted to go.” My eyeline drops to the ground. “I didn’t want to go when you were trying to make me, I didn’t want to go when it was only for that evening.” I swallow a lump of emotion restricting my throat. “When you were bleeding out and Jesper had to carry you back here I let myself imagine what it’d be like if you died. And it hurt. It hurt so badly I asked myself if I would rather never know you than feel that pain.” 

“Would you?” His voice has gone hollow. 

I finally look up again. “No.” That word leaves me more bare than any physical touch ever could. 

“I stain everything that stays with me,” his voice has seamlessly shifted back to a tone meant for business, “Me wanting you to stay is more than enough reason for you to leave.”

My chest aches as emotions I’ll never be able to place a name to pound against my chest. “I’m a princess that ran away from her family and tried to befriend her kidnapper--you can’t possibly be narcissistic enough to believe that you’re what’s corrupted me.” 

“Y/n,” his voice is gravely again, the way it was when he first woke up. 

“No. What could you possibly think I’d say to that?” He’s insane--I’m not even sure I understand what he’s implying. “You know I’ll never agree with what you’re saying, so I have no idea what kind of reaction you’re looking for.”

“Maybe a genuine one.” 

The comment is so frustrating I can’t help but roll my eyes. The irony of Kaz Brekker asking for a genuine reaction to an emotionally heavy comment is almost laughable. “My genuine reaction is that you’re acting like an idiot because I don’t agree with anything you’re saying, but calling someone an idiot after they’ve been stabbed in the chest is a little insensitive so I can’t give you my genuine reaction.”

Kaz half-scoffs, “You don’t agree? Y/n--are you hearing me!? I want--I want you to stay.” Even angry, the admission warms me. He lets out a frustrated sigh. “More than that I want--” 

“What?” 

He shakes his head once. “I want something that can never be because I can’t give what needs to be given to get it.” 

“Kaz, if it involves me staying you don’t need to give anything for that because I don’t want to go.” 

“I-want-you-to-stay-with-me.” The admission is pried from him by some invisible force. He speaks so fiercely the sentence comes out as one angry word. 

He speaks so quickly a part of me is convinced that I misheard him. I watch him as he moves back to the bed, sitting down in a way so resigned I wonder if I blurted something out on instinct. 

“Kaz,” this is embarrassing, “I wanted to stay with you even when I wanted to hate you.”

I take in his measured expression, the only thing implying any kind of reaction is the way his eyebrows draw together. “Don’t say that, you don’t understand what that means.” 

“Why? Because you’re convinced you’ll ruin me?” 

“Y/n, we’d be together with a wall between us, keeping us from ever touching.” 

“I will tolerate any amount of damage you’re so convinced staying with you will bring, I will stay with you and never touch you and think nothing of it--but I will not stay with you just to stand in front of a wall.” I let out a tired breath. “I will stay with you but my one condition will be that you have to let me know you.” 

Kaz’s intense gaze wavers. “The first thing you’ll know is that me allowing you to stay is a testament to my greed.” 

I give him a sharp look, “It’s not greed if I want to be here.” 

He half sighs, leaning against a pillow as he turns to look out the window. “It’s raining,” he muses, “The Saints must have done that for you.” 

The sentiment is so soft my heart feels like it’s constricting. “I thought you didn’t believe in the Saints.” 

“If they exist, they do so for people like you.” 

I push past the emotion in my chest as I move to sit in the same chair I was in earlier. “I was honest when I said I didn’t pray for you.” I scratch the back of my arm, a coldness passing over me. “I didn’t pray because I knew you would be okay because you had to be.” 

“They wouldn’t have saved me,” he mumbles, “Or maybe they would have for you.” 

I shake my head once, staring at the rain with more fascination than before. 

--

General Taglist: @theincredibledeadlyviper @grishaverse7 @lonelystarship

#kaz brekker #kaz brekker x reader #kaz brekker x you #kaz brekker imagine #six of crows #six of crows x reader #six of crows x you #six of crows imagine #six of crows netflix #six of crows show #soc #soc imagine #shadow and bone #shadow and bone x reader #shadow and bone show #grishaverse #grisha #grishavers x reader #grishaverse imagine

[persephones-wren]

hii love, love your fics so I just had to request again! Could request a Kaz andd reader where he says something mean to her without meaning it but shes really sad an stattes crying to jesper and he gets angry and tells Kaz to apologise? Angst with a happy ending,please!! Thanks a ton darling💗💗

Forgiveness (Kaz Brekker x Reader)

thank you for requesting again! school has been kicking my ass, so sorry for how long writing this took, but I hope you like it! :)

Warnings: mentions of catcalling, (small) injury, idk?

Genre: angst to fluff

Word Count: 1910

To say you’ve had a shitty day would’ve been an understatement.

Heading to the White Rose to see Nina, you’d been catcalled multiple times. Maybe you were being dramatic, but the comments felt more scathing than usual, and it had gotten under your skin quicker than you thought it would. You didn’t want to use Kaz’s reputation to scare them off, but it wouldn’t have mattered. You’d still be viewed as a possession, just one that didn’t belong to them.

You had snapped at the last stranger who’d given their perverse ideals of you, and that altercation had left you a lovely slash on your arm from defending yourself. You had temporarily wrapped it up on a scarf, but you knew you would probably have to wrap it with gauze on it when you returned.

When you had asked the clerk where Nina was, he said that he’d seen her leave, but she said nothing to him. Which meant the entire journey here was a waste, and that you’d have to head home without her guaranteed cooperation with the plan your boyfriend was creating.

“Kaz, she’s not there. Clerk said she went out, but he didn’t get where. It was a waste of a trip,” you sigh, throwing down your cloak on a random chair.

Kaz sighs, lowering his head as he writes out another part of the plan. “Really, Y/N? You couldn’t go out and look for her? She told us a couple days ago that she was going to start taking trips to the market at this time. You could’ve found her there.”

“I’m sorry?” you scoff quietly, but try to adjust your tone at the icy stare he gives you. You could’ve said that nicer, sure. “I didn’t think to look for her there because I didn’t know that, Kaz. Are you sure she told us that?”

“Yes, she did. Were you not paying attention?”

“I don’t think I was there,” you refute. “I would’ve remembered if she told me.”

“I don’t have time to talk to people who can’t do their jobs,” he mutters. “Just get out and waste time for now. Let me finish what I’m working on and we’ll find her together later.”

“The hell you mean I can’t do my job?” you protest. “I did what you asked. I went to go look for her, and she wasn’t there. I thought your instructions were not to stray from my path, because you wanted me home quickly and safely.”

“If you had any shred of common sense, then you’d know that I’d only say that because I’m supposed to care about you. I’d take information over your safety.”

You still. What?

He’s supposed to care about you? Does that imply he doesn’t? He would take information over your safety.

Does he want to break up?

Stop being dramatic. Kaz doesn’t play implication games with something like that. He’d tell you outright.

But he wouldn’t care for you if he got what he wanted.

“I-um, oh,” you take a shuddery breath. Your chest feels tight and your eyes are going to water. Kaz hates dealing with over-emotional people. He needs people who can keep their cool, people who can think their way out of things. You need to get out of here before he looks up at you. You’re useless, you’re an idiot, no wonder he said you couldn’t do your job properly.

Too late. He looks up at you, frowning at your silence, but you quickly turn away, still trying to hide your face.

You laugh, and even you can tell that it’s not genuine, just an attempt at trying to hide your wavering voice. “I’m fine, Kaz. Uh- yeah, yeah! We’ll go out later and-” your throat catches as you swallow harshly. “We’ll go out and look for Nina later. See you then.” You quickly brush your tears out of the way, opening the door and stepping out.

Your steps echo down the hall, and you try and find your way to your room through the tears that now stream down your face.

I’d take information over your safety.

You still don’t know if he means it. He’s angry, but- Kaz was usually extremely candid when he was upset.

He might’ve meant every word.

You don’t notice Jes in front of you, and as you pass him, he catches your arm.

You wince, his fingers land right on the slash, and he hastily lets go, looking at you with concern. Everyone was usually about as emotional as a rock in the Barrel. What made you cry like that?

“Y/N, you okay? What happened? Why did you flinch from me? Did I do something wrong?”

His face resembles a kicked puppy, and your heart constricts with slight guilt.

“No, no- it’s not your fault, Jes- your fingers landed right on a slash I got, that’s all.”

He looks at his hands, covered in slight blood. You tug at your soaked-through scarf and look at it, and it looks even worse than when you first got it. Your grimace. So much for getting him to worry less about you. “It looks a lot worse than it actually is.” Your words are frantic and stuttered, but you hope he gets the point.

“How did that happen? I thought with Kaz’s reputation, you would be untouchable. Why isn’t he taking care of you?”

You smile sadly. The mention of Kaz tightens your chest again.  “Guy scrapped with me for a little while after catcalling me. I didn’t want to use Kaz to defend myself- me, with him? He’d be even more of a target. And Kaz is a bit upset with me right now. He doesn’t know what happened.”

“Why the hell would he be upset?”

“I didn’t get the information he wanted,” your voice is small and weak. “And he said he’d rather have the information more than my safety.”

“Which is why you’re crying.” Jes’s face has a look of understanding.

“Yes,” you affirm quietly. “Today’s just been a bad day. I’ll be alright, though, really. I know Kaz doesn’t like dealing with weak people, so I thought I wouldn’t bother-”

“You’re not weak.” His voice gains a complete new edge, and his face is determined. You suddenly get a bad feeling. What’s Jes going to suggest you do? “We’re going to go confront him. Right now.”

“Jes, I look like I’ve been crying. I’d at least like to compose myself a bit.”

“No.” He makes sure he’s grabbing your other arm, before leading you back to Kaz’s office. “He needs to know how much he’s fucked up. He’s smart, but really,” Jesper sighs, “He’s an idiot. And you deserve better than that.”

Your heart warms at his words, but you’re still nervous as he leads you down the hall, and you’re definitely panicking when he opens the door without knocking.

Kaz looks up, and a brief look of surprise is in his eyes as he looks at Jesper. Why didn’t Jesper knock? And why would Jes need him, especially at midday? Wouldn’t he be out gambling?

Kaz prepares himself to hear something stupid. He doesn’t notice you standing behind him, and his attention drifts back down to his plan.

“What do you need?”

“Apologize.”

“For?”

“For being a bloody idiot and hurting your girlfriend.”

Hurting you? He looks back up to him, and this time, you’re standing next to Jesper.

“I didn’t-” Kaz starts, but your appearance makes him go silent.

Your expression is blank, but tear streaks clearly stain your face, and you clearly look like you don’t want to be confronting him. Jesper had put you up to this.

Were you too afraid of him to do it yourself?

What did he do for you to look like that?

“You didn’t do anything?” Jesper’s voice is incredulous. “She went to the White Rose to try and find Nina, and then you come home and treat her like she’s useless because she doesn’t get what you want. She’s your girlfriend, not a goon. Have some respect for her, yeah? She followed exactly what you said, to try and get home quickly and safely, and even then, she still gets hurt. Did you even notice the bleeding gash?”

“Jes,” you whisper, “it’s fine, really-”

He doesn’t listen, and grabs at your wrist to lift your arm, pulling down the scarf and revealing the bloody cut. Kaz blinks, concern and guilt briefly flashing on his face before he smooths back his expression.

How didn’t he notice? How did that happen?

“Y’know how she got that? Men were harassing her, and she fought one of them because she didn’t want to use your name as her shield. She was trying to prevent painting an even bigger target on your back. And then you go as far,” Jes laughs angrily, “as to say that she’s not worth more than information for your fucking plan? And through all of that, she leaves you alone because she doesn’t want to be an inconvenience to you. Your girlfriend thinks her emotions are burdening you. Get your fucking head out of your ass. Either you apologize to her, or she’s breaking up with you.”

You and Kaz are both left standing still, both watching as Jesper stalks back toward the door, opening it and slamming it shut.

The sound echoes through the silent room.

You don’t know what to say. Part of you feels vindicated, Jesper did the hard part for you, but part of you feels guilty- Jesper also made it a lot bigger than it could’ve been.

You let the guilt win out.

“I’m sorry, Jes’s wording was a bit harsh, I’ll take my leave, it’s really not that big-”

“Stay,” Kaz interrupts. “Please.”

You sit down on the chair next to his, and he turns to you, pulling out gauze and alcohol wipes.

“I can do it myself,” you say hurriedly. “I know-”

“You’re not a burden to me.” He avoids your gaze, he doesn’t want to see your reaction, in case he really would lose you after this. “Let me help you.”

“Okay.”

You hiss through your teeth as he cleans the gash, a small “sorry” escaping him as he continues. There’s still a silence hanging between both of you. He wraps it carefully, looking up at you when he’s done.

“Not too tight?”

“No,” you answer quietly. “Thank you, Kaz.”

There’s another silence between you.

“I care about you,” he says suddenly. “I wouldn’t trade your safety for anything.”

You know it’s his way of saying sorry.

“It’s okay,” you give a reassuring smile. “I know. I’ve just had a bad day, that’s all.”

“It’s not,” he argues. “If you ever need to defend yourself, use my name if it’ll get them to stop. I don’t care if it paints whatever sized target on my back.” You open your mouth to interject, but he continues. “I’m already a wanted criminal in Ketterdam. However much you increase the target by doesn’t matter, so long as you come home alright.”

“Okay,” you nod. “I will.”

“I love you, darling.”

Your eyes widen at his words. He doesn’t say it often, he knows that you already know that.

Jesper must’ve really shaken him.

“I love you too,” you reply softly. “Thank you.”

It’s his turn to look surprised. “For?”

“For caring,” you respond. “For being you. For loving me.”

A faint smile etches on his lips. “I always will.”

#shadow and bone #grishaverse #six of crows #six of crows x reader #soc kaz #kaz soc #soc x reader #kaz x reader #kaz brekker x reader #kaz brekker imagine #jesper fahey #thank you for the request! #request

[syllvane]

halfway- kaz brekker x reader

a/n: the unofficial sequel to wanting but also a standalone piece. a little ooc at the end, as a treat

“Why don’t you just say something?” Jesper asked, getting tired of the way Kaz looked at you when you weren’t looking. Kaz didn’t say anything, his hand gripping the cup that he was holding tightly. “I mean you both like each other, so why don’t you just-”

Kaz cut him off with a withering glare, a promise that Kaz would cut his tongue out if Jesper continued speaking.

Kaz finished the rest of his drink and although he tried his best, he found his gaze constantly being pulled back to you, as if you were a planet with your own gravitational pull.

Saints, he had it bad for you.

The worst part was that you didn’t even know what you were doing to him- or maybe you did and maybe you liked seeing Kaz Brekker suffer, maybe this was punishment for him putting as much distance between the two of you as humanely possible, or as much distance as Kaz could bear, anyways.

He ordered another shot and he didn't wince as it went down.

He managed to pull his gaze away from you, looking at Jesper, who had found better company in the person sitting on the other side of him.

Kaz tapped Jesper’s shoulder, who turned around and looked at him with wide eyes.

“I’d disappoint her,” Kaz said, the words falling out of his mouth before he could even register what he was saying. “That’s why I don’t meet her halfway. I’d disappoint her, and she deserves better than that.”

“You’ll disappoint her if you don’t meet her halfway,” Jesper argued and Kaz nodded solemnly, as if he had considered this.

“Maybe. I don’t think I could watch her fall out of love with me up close though. It’s better this way,” He said, motioning to the distance between the two of you.

Jesper didn’t say anything to that, mostly because he’s seen how the two of you look at each other when the other isn’t watching and he isn’t all that confident that this is the best way to handle this situation.

Kaz signaled the bartender for another shot and Jesper grabbed the shot from him, holding it high above his head.

“Jesper,” Kaz said warningly and Jesper might have been scared if Kaz wasn’t slurring his words.

“Why don’t we just slow down- do you want to go back to the Slat?”

“I’m fine,” Kaz said defensively, though it sounded as if he was not only trying to convince Jesper but himself as well.

“Kaz-”

“I said I’m fine,” He growled and Jesper frowned, drinking the shot that Kaz had ordered before wandering off, no longer interested in his company.

Kaz stood up from the bar as well and walked to his office, closing the door behind him and sitting on his chair, waiting for his mind to clear.

When you saw Kaz the next day, he was stumbling into the kitchen of the Slat, bleary-eyed.

His clothes were disheveled and you were given the distinct impression that he spent the night in his office.

His eyes met yours and he gave you a look that you think was supposed to be threatening.

“Not a word.”

The threat didn’t stop the small laugh that came out of your mouth and you saw him soften as he stood next to you, leaning his cane against the cabinets.

“You look cute,” You said, handing him the cup of coffee that you had just poured moments before. “Your blush is even cuter.”

He nearly spat out his coffee, settling for choking on it and coughing instead.

“I-”

“You hate me, you love me, you hate me for making you love me, I know. Don’t waste your breath.”

The coughing subsided but the glare he was giving you did not.

“If anyone else said that, I would’ve hit them with my cane.”

His gloved fingers brushed over yours as he handed you his half-full coffee cup.

“That’s just it though, isn’t it?” You asked, staring at the cup of coffee. “I’m not just anyone.”

He looked at you carefully, studying you closely in the morning light.

He has stolen many things before; precious jewelry, artwork, you name it.

These moments with you are the most valuable out of all of them, he thinks.

“No, you’re not just anyone,” He finally said, trying to memorize the way you looked. “You should really find someone who will meet you halfway, you know. Someone who can say ‘I love you’ back.”

You smiled, though there was an undeniable twinge of sadness in your voice as you spoke.

“I really should,” You conceded, taking a sip from his coffee mug. “You're not just anyone either, though.”

You handed him the mug back, your hands brushing against each other again. He took another sip.

“Do you think Pekka is single?” You asked thoughtfully and this time he did spit out the coffee.

“Don’t even joke about that, or I’ll…” His voice simmered out, because what could he do? Break-up with you? The two of you weren’t dating. Hurt you? You would see his empty threats for what they were.

“You’ll what?” You asked, your eyes flickering over to him, daring him to finish the sentence.

“I hate you,” He said, because it was easier than saying the truth.

“I hate you too.”

A moment passed between the two of you. He took another sip of the coffee.

“Don’t go after Pekka,” He said suddenly, the same intensity in his voice as before. “You can date anyone you want, I just… not him. Anyone but him. He is…”

“I know,” You cut him off, taking the coffee back from him. “I would never.”

You didn’t know, if you were being honest, why Kaz hated Pekka Rollins so much. You didn’t know about Jordie or about the Reaper’s Barge or about why he wore the gloves. All you knew was that it mattered to him and that was the beginning and end of everything.

A smile tugged at Kaz’s lips.

“Besides, he’s a total creep. I wouldn’t date him for a million kruge,” You added, mostly so that you could see the smile on Kaz’s face grow.

“You deserve better than him anyways,” He said, stealing back the coffee cup and taking another sip. “How’d you know I would be coming down here?”

“What?”

“The coffee. You made it the way I take it.”

He didn’t realize how much he enjoyed making you flustered until a strange expression appeared on your face, followed by a sheepish laugh.

“Oh. I… I started taking my coffee that way. So that there would be some for you if you ever wanted it.”

He doesn’t say anything, doesn’t know what to say, because what is love if not that?

What is love if not the countless pots of coffee that you’ve made in the hopes that he’d have some too, one day?

Standing there, he can see that you’re waiting for him to call what you’ve been doing childish or stupid, but he doesn’t.

He just stands there next to you and finishes the rest of the coffee. You turn back to keep unloading groceries.

“I’m sorry, for putting so much distance between us. For not meeting you halfway and for not even trying to,” He said shakily, the words spilling out of him before he could talk himself out of it, before he could convince himself that the two of you would be better off standing there in silence. “I don’t… I don’t know if I can love you in the way that you want to be loved- in the way that you deserve to be loved.”

You turned around to face him, tears welling in your eyes, and Kaz got the horrible feeling that he had said the wrong thing.

Instead, you grabbed both of his gloved hands tentatively.

“Saints Kaz, don’t you get it? Any way that you love me is how I want to be loved,” You said softly and Kaz let out a sigh of relief, releasing a weight that he hadn’t realized that he had been carrying. “And as for putting distance between us, you can make it up to me.”

A laugh escaped from his lips.

“Oh yeah? What did you have in mind?”

“Well, for starters, finish putting groceries away with me.”

“You drive a hard bargain.”

“Yeah, well…”

#kaz brekker x you #kaz brekker x reader #kaz brekker #six of crows x y/n #six of crows imagines #six of crows imagine #six of crows x reader #six of crows x you #six of crows #shadow and bone imagines #shadow and bone imagine #shadow and bone netflix #shadow and bone #grishaverse imagines #grishaverse imagine #grishaverse x reader #grishaverse x you #grishaverse

[xsamsharons]

behind enemy lines - k. brekker

pairing: kaz brekker x reader.

genre/warning: just fluff!

words: 1.3k.

summary: in which to anyone else, you are supposed to be enemies. however, behind closed doors, it is with you that he feels the safest.

“Fraternizing with the enemy, Brekker?” Per Haskell’s voice ran through the office as he stared down at Kaz. Somehow word had gotten out about the little visit he had paid you, and if there was one thing that moved quickly through Ketterdam, it was rumors. Well, that and stray bullets.

To be honest, Kaz hadn’t exactly been trying to hide, and he didn’t feel like he owed anyone an explanation, especially Per Haskell. However, the old man liked to feel like he could still control Kaz and he figured he could grant him one lecture to make him feel better about himself. He knew there wouldn’t be consequences for him, anyway.

Nevertheless, he couldn’t help but want to laugh every time someone referred to you as the enemy, or a target, or -his personal favorite- dangerous. Don’t get him wrong, he was well aware of the fact that you were one of the deadliest criminals currently roaming the city, but you weren’t a lost cause. Not like he was, anyway.

He hated it when people compared you to him, you weren't unhinged, you weren’t evil, you were just… self-serving. Yeah, he decided, that was the best way to describe you. You didn’t really follow a moral code, you just did what benefited you the most, and while sometimes you had to do things that most people would consider amoral, no one could blame you for trying to make a living in the hell hole that was Ketterdam.

“I wouldn’t call it fraternizing, I was just conversing.” he wasn't. He was definitely not just conversing.

“I don’t give a shit what you were doing, I want the threat gone.” Kaz almost snorted at that.

Sure, you could kill a man in less than five seconds using no more than just your bare hands, but he wouldn’t consider you a threat, not to his gang anyway. You were more of an annoyance, a rock stuck in one’s shoe that you couldn’t really shake and remained there the whole time you walked, but never a threat. You actually were the person he felt the safest around, and while that did make you a threat, it didn’t make you the kind of threat everyone thought you were.

Kaz didn’t say all this, for obvious reasons, and instead settled for a simple: “Of course, sir.”

The old man waves a hand at that, and Kaz took it as a sign of dismissal. Without wasting a single second, Kaz was out of there as quickly as his leg allowed him to, and as he slammed the door, he used a bit more force than he usually would.

The only person who had noticed he wasn’t spending as much time in his office anymore was Inej, and if anyone else had, they didn’t dare ask him why.

It hadn’t been that difficult to convince him to stay with you, the office held nothing but bad memories and it was rarely quiet. Kaz used to think he liked the noise, he liked hearing the screaming from downstairs and feeling like the city never slept, he thought it granted him a sense of comfort - until he met you. With you, he realized he didn’t need outside noise to distract him from the mess inside his head, he just needed your laugh and a smart comment that forced him to suppress a smile of his own right after. He didn’t need to keep up an act to make him feel like he was in control, he could let his guard down and he could share the control of the situation, knowing you wouldn’t take advantage of his vulnerability.

Most importantly, he felt like he could actually be himself around you, never on edge and actually relaxed for the first time in what felt like forever.

He quickly came to realize he didn’t just like your apartment because of its location, it’s height or it’s view, he didn’t care about the building or where it was located, he liked it because he liked you, and he was sure any room you set foot in would immediately become his favorite room in the city.

As he stepped into the apartment, he couldn’t smell the scent of freshly baked cookies, he couldn’t hear the sound of music coming from any room, and he couldn’t find you reading on the couch like he had heard most people found their significant others when they stepped into their homes. Instead, Kaz could see dirty knives on top of the kitchen table, previously blood stained clothes that had been recently washed hanging from the closest window, and an old ripped vest of his disregarded on top of the couch.

The only light shining on the apartment was the soft glow of the moon that painted shadows on the walls, and the only sound that resonated through the house were his own words once he spoke them. “Honey, I'm home.” His words were laced with sarcasm and they received no response from you. At this, he checked the main room and there he found you, asleep with one of his old shirts on, sleeping on his side of his bed like you always did when he hadn’t been home in a while. Looking at you, he couldn’t believe anyone would ever consider you a threat. The thought almost made him laugh: the most dangerous criminal in Ketterdam, wearing his shirt to bed and hugging his pillow.

He went to the closet first and opened the drawer in which you had told him to put his clothes, and changed into something more comfortable than his armor before slipping into the bed beside you, still keeping a distance.

You felt the bed sink beside you, and spoke to him without opening your eyes. “You’re late.” you said.

“Sorry ma’am.” he replied and you smiled, opening only one eye to take a look at his handsome face framed by messy hair.

“Was it the visit you paid me at work last week?” you said knowingly, he nodded. “I warned you.”

“Couldn’t help myself.” he shrugged. “Missed you too much.” you actually opened your eyes fully at the sound of that

“You big softie. What would the city say if they knew the bastard of the barrel had such a soft side?” you smiled.

“Thankfully, they won’t find out.” he narrowed his eyes at you.

“Maybe I'll tell them.” you teased.

“I won’t let you.”

“You can’t beat me in a fight.” you challenged, knowing that would get a rise out of him.

“Wanna bet?” He raised his eyebrows, almost smiling at you.

“I would, but you have nothing to offer me, I already have all I want.” you shrugged, as if what you said carried no real meaning behind it, but he knew better.

“Now who’s the one going soft" he said, as one of the corners of his mouth quirked upwards.

“Oh, shut up.” you say with a smile, closing your eyes and missing his own smile just by a second.

Moments later, he felt your pinky finger wrap around his own. Kaz’s aversion to touch hadn’t completely healed, for it was not something that would just go away overnight, no matter how much you meant to him. You didn’t mind, and you both had come up with ways of feeling close to each other without actually having to show physical affection.

However, one thing he found he was okay with, was you hooking one of your fingers around one of his own. In his mind, it was a child-like action, it made him feel like a little boy again and he hated that he couldn’t do more, but you loved the little tradition you had created, and you planned to carry on doing it until he was ready for more, not caring when that would be.

You had time, and you had each other. Everything else could wait.

a/n: requests are open for any soc character (and some s&b characters)!

#kaz brekker #kaz brekker x reader #kaz brekker fanfic #kaz x reader #kaz brekker imagine #six of crows #six of crows imagine #six of crows x reader #shadow and bone #shadow and bone fanfic #six of crows fanfic #shadow and bone x reader #jesper fahey #inej ghafa #nina zenik #matthias helvar #wylan van eck

[triptuckers]

Jealousy, Jealousy - Kaz Brekker

Request: yes! ‘Can I request Kaz/reader where one of them is jealous, maybe an argument occurs but with a happy ending. If you’re okay with that. If not I understand. I love your fics though! You’re an incredible writer’ Pairing:  Kaz Brekker x reader Summary:  You got a member of the Dime Lions talking, and got some valuable information. But Kaz isn’t happy with the method you used to get the information Warnings: mild angst, mentions of alcohol, jealous kaz  Word count:  1.9K A/N: me using an olivia rodrigo song as a title? yea. enjoy reading! :)

On one of her nightly journeys through the city, Inej had found out the Dime Lions were planning on stealing an expensive necklace. It so turned out that Kaz also had his eyes on said necklace. And he didn’t like the thought of it slipping through his fingers. 

He figured out which member knew the most about the job, and needed to get him talking. Kaz only knew the week in which the necklace would arrive, not the exact date, or how heavily it would be guarded.

Kaz had sent Inej to figure it out, but even she came back empty handed. Luckily, you knew the club the Dime Lion member liked to go to. It had gotten you to where you are now.

You, Jesper and Kaz are currently looking at him sitting at the bar in the club. You’d been looking at him for a while, keeping a sharp eye on him. It was already clear Kaz wouldn’t be the one to go up to him. Anyone would recognise that cane, or his limp if he decided to go in without it.

 Jesper wants to go inside and get the Dime Lion talking, but you’re quicker, placing a hand on his arm and pushing him back.

‘This is a job for a lady, Jesper.’ you say.

You reach up and pull the ribbon out of your hair, letting it fall down your back. You then take off you coat and hand it to Kaz. Lastly, you unbutton a few buttons of your shirt and run a hand through your hair.

Before either of them can argue, you’ve waved at them, told them ‘wish me luck!’, and are headed into the club.

You walk up to the bar and take place next to the Dime Lion, careful to keep one seat empty between the two of you. You signal for the barkeeper and order your favorite drink. 

Just as you’re about to reach into your pocket to get some money, your target next to you hands the barkeeper some money.

‘On me.’ he says.

You flash him a warm smile. ‘Why, thank you!’ you say. Sometimes they made it almost too easy for you. 

The Dime Lion smiles at you and lets his eyes wander over your face. You have to physically hold yourself back not to punch him in the jaw. But you’re on a job. All you have to do is get him talking. And if he’s so willing to buy you drinks, it shouldn’t be hard.

‘What’s a pretty girl like you doing out all by herself?’ he says. 

‘Just going for a drink.’ you say. 

‘Care for some company?’ he says, pulling the chair next to him back.

‘Don’t mind if I do.’ you say, and you slide off of your chair to sit down next to him. He smells like alcohol and you guess he’s had a lot of drinks already, celebrating his success too early.

He takes a sip of his drink and you notice the tattoo on his wrist. You plaster a shocked look upon your face and reach out to pull his arm toward you.

‘Are you part of one of those dangerous gangs?’ you say.

‘Dime Lions, yeah.’ he says, signalling to the barkeeper for another drink. 

‘You must be very brave.’ you say, looking up and smiling at him again.

‘I don’t like to brag, but yes, I am.’ he says. ‘Can’t be in a gang if you’re afraid of a little action.’

You fake a look of admiration on your face as you lean your chin on your hand, looking at him. ‘That sound really impressive.’ you say.

‘It’s not without danger, but it pays good money.’ he says, taking a sip of his drink. 

‘Really?’ you say.

‘We got an important job coming up. It should make us rich.’ he says.

‘Wow.’ you say. ‘Like, really rich?’

‘You could say that, yes.’ he says. ‘But I’m not supposed to talk to anyone about it.’

‘Oh.’ you say, letting your chin drop slightly. ‘I see.’ 

You move to get up, but he lays a hand on your arm to stop you. ‘Hey, don’t go.’ he says. ‘I suppose I could tell you a little bit about it, just not the details.’

You smile and sit back down. ‘Well, in that case. Let me order you another drink, and tell me a story.’ you say, signalling to the barkeeper. 

‘So, a promising job?’ you say as the barkeeper sets another drink down in front of him. 

‘Very. It’s an expensive necklace. Worth millions of kruge.’ he says. He reaches out and places his hand on your hip. He’s really testing your patience. You try not to show your annoyance.

You let your jaw drop slightly and lean in closer. ‘Millions?’ you whisper eagerly.

He nods. ‘That’s right. We’re winning big with this one. They’re shipping it all the way from Ravka, and it’s arriving on one of the docks on Wednesday night. That part of the docks belongs to the Dregs, but we have a plan on feeding them the wrong information. That necklace is as good as ours.’ he says.

‘You’re really smart.’ you say. ‘How come you’re not running your own gang?’ 

He laughs at your words and you giggle a bit. 

‘It’s not as easy as it looks.’ he says. ‘It takes skill, and practice, and you have to deal with a whole lot of planning. Not my speciality. But I am climbing up the ranks within the Dime Lions, I have to give you that.’

‘Well if you’re climbing the ranks as fast as you’re ordering drinks, it shouldn’t be a problem.’ you laugh, putting your hand on his arm. 

He laughs as well, then smiles at you. You finish your drink and get up.

‘Well, you have been lovely company.’ you say. ‘Do you come here often?’

‘I do.’ he says. ‘This is my favorite place.’

‘Then I might stumble in here a bit more. Maybe I’ll see a certain Dime Lion.’ you say with a wink. ‘Thanks for the drink.’

‘Thank you for the company.’ he says. ‘And I hope to see you again.’

‘I hope not.’ you mutter under your breath as you head out the bar, back to Kaz and Jesper.

When you reach them, they look like the exact opposites of each other. Jesper looks delighted and proud as you walk toward them. 

Kaz, on the other hand, has his lips pressed together so tightly they almost disappear into a thin line. And he looks ready to hit someone in the head with his cane.

‘Alright.’ you say, ignoring the look on Kaz’ face. ‘The necklace arrives on Wednesday night, on our docks. They’re going to plant wrong information to throw us off, but it’s going to be Wednesday night, that’s for sure. I don’t know how many people they’re going to send though, but it should be an easy job.’

Jesper lets out a low whistle. ‘Way to go, Y/N.’ he says. 

‘Like I said, a job for a lady. Tipsy men are willing to tell women everything if they think it’ll make them look impressive.’ you say, taking your coat from Kaz’ arm and putting it on.

‘I think you deserve another drink back at the Slat.’ says Jesper. ‘After you.’

You smile at him and start to walk back to the Slat. You spend almost half of the journey talking and laughing with Jesper, just messing around a bit. You notice Kaz hasn’t said a word, not even telling you good job for gathering the information. 

You hang back and fall into step next to Kaz. 

‘You okay?’ you ask him. Kaz gives a quick nod. You know he’s not much of a talker, but you expected a thank you for getting the job done. 

You try to get him to talk, but his answers are short, if he even answers at all.

‘Come on, Kaz, we got what we came for, didn’t we? Why are you upset?’ you say, looking at him.

‘I'm not upset that we got the information.’ he says, finally giving you a proper answer. ‘I don’t like the way we got it, though.’ he adds to it.

His answer puts a mischievous smile on your face.

‘Aw, is Kaz Brekker, jealous?’ you say teasingly, but Kaz doesn’t tease you back. He merely keeps on walking, not answering you.

‘Kaz, come on, I just did my job.’ you say.

‘Was it your job to practically sit in his lap?’ snaps Kaz. ‘To lay your hand on his arm, to allow him to put his hand on your hip?’

‘I only let him get close so I could get the information out of him. You know I wouldn’t do something like that, I'm yours, Kaz.’ you say, frowning that he could take it so personally.

‘Well you sure as hell made it look convincing you are his.’ grumbles Kaz.

You hold a hand up and get in front of him to stop him. Jesper curiously looks your way but you motion for him to keep walking. He continues walking, but does look over his shoulder every once in a while. You wait for Jesper to be out of reach when you start talking again.

‘I did my job, Kaz. Nothing more than that. There’s absolutely no reason for you to be jealous.’ you say.

‘I’m not jealous.’ says Kaz.

You raise your eyebrows at him. ‘Really?’ you say. ‘Then what’s all this? Because it looks a lot like jealousy to me.’

‘Did you see the way he looked at you?’ says Kaz.

‘Yes I did, but it’s nothing. He was drunk. He’s probably not gonna remember anything of it in the morning.’ you say.

‘What if he does remember it?’ says Kaz, looking at you.

You plant your hands on your hips. ‘Then I'll show him I'm yours.’ you say. ‘And he’ll think twice before even looking my way next time he sees me.’

You look at Kaz, but he still looks restless. You sigh and step closer to him. You reach out and take his gloved hand in his.

‘Look, Kaz, I need you to know I was friendly to him for the sake of the job. I have been and always will be yours.’ you say. 

Kaz looks from his hand in your to your face. 

‘I’m yours.’ you say. ‘No need to be jealous.’

‘I wasn’t jealous.’ he mumbles, making you laugh.

‘Oh, my dear, you definitely were. You should have seen your face. You looked like all you wanted to do was whack that Dime Lion over the head with your cane.’ you say.

‘I did want to do that.’ he admits, making you laugh again. 

‘No need to worry, Kaz.’ you say. ‘Though I would do it again for a job though, or maybe just for the sake of seeing you jealous.’

His head snaps up at your words. You bite your lip to hold your laughter.

‘You look really hot when you’re jealous.’ you say. You see him relaxing again, softly shaking his head at your words, but with a faint smile on his face.

‘You’re one of a kind, Y/N.’ he says as the two of you continue your way back to the Slat.

‘One of a kind, and all yours.’ you say.

A/N: If you want to request something, make sure to read my house rules Here’s the list of characters I write for. Everything that I have written can be found on my masterlist. Please don’t repost my work, as I spend much time and effort on it!! Thank you for reading! Much love, Marit

#kaz brekker #shadow and bone #grishaverse #kaz brekker x reader #kaz brekker x you #Kaz Brekker fanfiction #Kaz Brekker fanfic #kaz brekker fic #kaz brekker fics #kaz brekker fanfics #kaz brekker oneshot #kaz brekker oneshots #shadow and bone fanfiction #shadow and bone fanfic #shadow and bone fanfics #shadow and bone fic #shadow and bone fics #shadow and bone oneshot #shadow and bone oneshots

[imkylotrash]

Take Me Back To The Night We Met

Pairing: Kaz Brekker x reader

Requests: Hello could I have reader x Kaz brekker with this prompt: "How are you feeling?" "Like someone who was shot." Anonymous And Hello could I have reader x Kaz brekker with this prompt: "So do not wait too long, okay? "What? "To tell him that you love him. " Anonymous

Warnings: Blood

Tagging: @bitchwhytho @music-of-melody @shadowhuntyi @bshelley322 @alice-the-nerd

"You're lucky Kaz is sleeping," you say catching Jesper in his walk of shame. The sun rose up an hour ago but you have a feeling Jesper hasn't slept yet.

"I've done nothing wrong," he says but even he doesn't believe that. You both know he's done a little gambling, a little betting, and he's definitely lost some money. Otherwise, he would've come home sooner ready to celebrate.

"I know your wicked ways by now. You don't fool me," you tease. In all honesty, you couldn't care less if Jesper likes gambling, but you know Kaz hates it - especially when the money is meant for something else.

"Luckily, you're not the one I have to fool," he replies tipping his hat. He's about to walk past you when he spins around.

"Perhaps you could fool him for me? He'd never get upset if it were you." You make a sound that falls somewhere between a snort and a laugh.

"Did you not hear him berate me the other day when I misplaced some of his documents in his office? He went on about that for the entire day," you chuckle remembering just how upset he'd been that someone would dare create, what he considered, a mess in his office.

"I heard him. But if it had been me, he'd gone on for a lot longer than a day," Jesper counters but you're not sure what he's getting at. For as long as you've known Kaz, he's been infatuated by Inej. He doesn't give you special treatment and he certainly doesn't feel what Jesper is insinuating.

"I think you had a little too much to drink last night if you're thinking Kaz would feel any sort of affection towards me. Or that I feel something for him," you say but your blushing cheeks give you away. Jesper sees right through you.

"I'm not going to get involved in that all I'm saying is don't wait too long, okay?"

"What?"

"To tell him that you love him." He pats your shoulder as he passes you, but you're too dumbstruck to react. What do you even say to that? You can't tell Kaz you love him, it would ruin the entire dynamic of your relationship. You work well because you keep it professional. You can't pine over him, it's the kind of thing that will get you killed on a heist.

"I need sleep too," you mumble locking the doors of the club before you head upstairs. Your head hits the pillow just as someone wakes you up again. Three hours have passed, but you feel like you haven't slept at all.

"Sorry to wake you, but I need your help." Kaz leaves your room before you can say anything, which is probably a good thing considering what you and Jesper talked about last night. You get ready and walk to his office where Jesper and Inej are already waiting.

"What's going on?" you ask taking a seat.

"We have a mission. But we're not the only ones interested." That mission becomes your doom. You're in the room that night when Pekka stops by.

"Maybe you need a little incentive to do the right thing." His goons are holding Kaz in place when Pekka turns to you.

"Maybe if I take one of your little crows, you'll know I'm not messing around this time." He's shot you before you even have time to reach for your throwing knives. It's one of the only times you've ever been caught off guard - too busy being mortified by the way they grabbed Kaz.

"You let this go, Mr Brekker. Or we'll have a real problem." You fall to your knees feeling a burning sensation right around your lower ribs. The bullet must've hit something vital because there's no way you would be bleeding this badly if it wasn't fatal. You've been shot before but it's never felt like this.

"What can I do?" Kaz asks immediately by your side. You drag yourself closer to the wall so you can lean on the cold surface.

"Kaz..."

"No! You're not dying, do you hear me? Tell me what to do." You tell him to bring the first aid kit but there won't be anything in there to help you. You don't have to be a medic to know that your laboured breathing means damage to the lungs and nobody comes back from that.

"How are you feeling?" he asks when he returns with the box filled with bandages meant for superficial wounds and creme meant for burns. He won't find anything in there that will help him remove the bullet or stop the bleeding.

"Like someone who was shot." It's safe to say, Kaz doesn't appreciate your inappropriate humour right now. But you've already accepted what he's refusing to. You're going to die and he can't do anything about it because that's the way life is sometimes.

"It's not going to help, Kaz. You really want to help me? Get that vodka I like from the bar." It offers you precious minutes alone where you can feel the anger of having to leave behind the people you love. You don't want to go but by the time, a medic can come here you'll be long gone. You don't want to die in pain while some stranger searches your insides for a bullet.

"Here." You didn't even notice him come back, but he's holding two glasses. You surprise yourself when you're able to lift your arm and accept the glass. It doesn't hurt as much anymore, and you have a feeling that's not a good thing. The burning feeling in your throat from the vodka distracts you if only for a few seconds.

"Sit with me." You look over at the boy you've loved for years now, and you loathe the fact that this is how it ends. You haven't truly lived yet. But there's no point in telling him when you know you won't even survive the night. You have to let go of him so he can find peace once your soul leaves him. You spot Jesper and Inej standing in the doorway to Kaz' office. They're looking over at you with tears in their eyes, and you hate having to leave them all behind. There's so much you still want to do and experience.

"No mourners," Kaz says sitting right next to you. His fingers graze yours in an attempt to comfort you but even now, he feels the terror of past events haunt him.

"No funerals," you finish with a taste of metal in your mouth. You won't make it. A fact both of you know but refuses to acknowledge.

You die and Kaz Brekker never finds out that you loved him the way he loved you.

#shadow and bone imagine #shadow and bone blurb #shadow and bone gif #shadow and bone #kaz brekker x reader #kaz brekker blurb #kaz brekker gif #kaz brekker imagine #kaz brekker #sab imagine #sab blurb #sab gif #sab #tw blood #tw death

[crowsmybeloveds]

Shadow and Bone Series: Chapter Two

In Cold Blood

Pairing: Jesper Fahey x Reader

Summary: The Crows continue to visit Y/N at the Emerald Palace, and make some interesting developments.

Word Count: 4.8k

Warnings: Implied suicide (don’t take it too seriously hint hint); abuse; Pekka Rollins; again canon typical violence/slave stuff (this time it’s described more, but again nothing graphic); the Menagerie;

A/N: Thank you so much if you liked the first chapter!!! This one is a little longer and I promise the end isn’t as bad as it might seem.

Masterlist

~~~~~~~~~

Jesper Fahey liked to do his own thing. Sure, as a member of the Dregs he had to listen to his boss and go on jobs, but he loved his free time in between. Hence, he often avoided going on little arends for Kaz at all costs. It would be a waste of his time.

Jesper Fahey was now talking to Kaz. Volunteering for an arend. For the fourth time this week.

Kaz, Inej, and Jesper had been visiting the girl in the basement regularly since their first meeting with her. Kaz chalked it up to business, the girl and her potions were powerful assets, but the other two would admit they had found a new friend.

There were rules to these visits. First, only go during the day. Even if it seemed counterintuitive to sneak there in the broad daylight, Y/N insisted she would be unavailable in the night, as that was when her “work” was done. Also, if you are there, you must hide well behind the crates, and remain armed. You were lucky every time you made it out of there alive.

It was a daunting task, but Jesper was always up for it.

“You’re going to go there again?” Kaz asked him, eyebrows raised, “You know it’s Inej’s turn, correct?”

“Yes, and I also don’t care,” Jesper answered, “Also, she probably has things to see, people to do, and whatnot. I, on the other hand, have my whole day cleared. And I couldn’t deprive the lovely basement girl of this face.” He smiled, pointing to himself, “I mean, come on.”

Kaz stared at him, seeing through his antics in a minute. Jesper had taken a liking to the girl. What will happen the day he visits to find she’s not there anymore? Kaz thought. His hopes are too high.

“Fine, Jesper,” He agreed, “but be careful not to draw attention.” He scrunched his nose. “Do your best not to dawdle.”

“Right, I’m off then!” Jesper exclaimed as he clapped his hands together and ran off.

“I’m going tomorrow!” Kaz shouted after him.

The sharpshooter knew his boss was suspicious of his actions, but in all honesty he didn’t care. Normally he would have thought there wasn’t much spending time with her could do, as she had told him many of the same things over and over. That must have meant she had told him all that she knew. But Jesper was not going for information, he was going to be with her. He liked to think they were friends.

Jesper was often distracted. Whether he saw a pretty person to flirt with or a table to gamble at, he always found a way to not be doing whatever he was supposed to. Everything around him was so appealing and stimulating, especially in the Barrel. Even so, he sped down the streets without a single double take or second thought as he headed to the Emerald Palace. He really wanted to see her. So bad it was addicting. At first he thought that maybe the girl was drugging him, seeing as that is her particular expertise, but soon he realized that he just liked her. She was funny, and she laughed at all his jokes. She was also so intriguing. So powerful yet rendered powerless. He was enchanted, but he knew something was missing. It seemed it wasn’t her fault. He wanted to help.

That day when he arrived at the window (after making sure no one could see him, of course) Jesper saw Y/N sitting against the wall with her legs hugged to her chest. He called her name softly, and waited for her to reply. She didn’t reply, or even move. Against his better judgement, he shouted louder, risking being discovered by one of Pekka’s crew. He didn’t care. He banged the windows. Praying she would say something. Or turn her head. Or nod. Anything. She didn’t. A single tear rolled down her face.

Y/N had been sitting there for three hours. There wasn’t much to be said about what had happened. Only that she did not remember, whether her loss of memory was intentional or not. It was an off day, that’s all.

Jesper was panicking. He had no idea how to get her to wake up. That is, if she was asleep. Truthfully, he did not know what was wrong with her or what to do. Unfortunately, his noise making had roused a different group of people. Jesper had to run down the alley as he heard shouts coming his direction. He ran the rest of the way home, still in shock. He was not haunted by his near escape with the Dime Lions, but the look on the girl’s face. What had they done to her?

“And she didn’t move at all?” Inej asked. Jesper had just explained to her what happened after he showed up to her room at the Slat. She hadn’t appreciated being woken up from one of her rare naps, but she didn’t complain when she saw the look on his face.

“Not that I could see,” he replied, shaking his head, “Inej, I swear she could hear me.”

Inej did not know what to say. This kind of behavior was not usual for Jesper. He had his normal amount of energy, but it was not often it was all directed to one place: worry. It was odd that something upset him and he did not distract from it by going to gamble or making a joke.

“I just, if it were you I’d understand, but who could ignore me?” he said, “Going unnoticed is not a Jesper talent.”

There it was.

“You’re deflecting” She called him out, “It’s not funny. We should tell Kaz.”

“That's not funny,” Jesper replied, “what is Kaz gonna do? Tell us to stop talking to her?”

Inej sighed. It’s possible that he would advise that. But he also wouldn’t just let Pekka Rollins keep his most dangerous weapon. Especially not when she didn’t seem to have much loyalty. She had told Inej so many times. The girls had a bond due to the Menagerie, and Y/N told her much about her past and present. She explained different chemicals she had made and plans she had heard to Kaz. But with Inej, she explained how she felt about them.

Y/N hated every second in that basement. She had told Inej as much. Repeatedly. But she was rather scatterbrained. She repeated herself often and forgot things that she had already been told. She would forget what day it was and what she had done the night before. Inej had experience with trauma and sleep deprivation enough to shrug this off. She didn’t want to cause her friend anguish by questioning it.

The incident Jesper was describing made her think that maybe she should. Y/N was smart. Hell, she was a self taught Grisha fabrikator. So good, she could kill people from miles away. How could she be so forgetful? Someone so scientifically gifted must have a better mind than that. Someone must have been messing with it.

After some convincing to Jesper that Kaz would not kill or give up on Y/N, the pair made their way to their boss’s office.

“I was waiting for this to happen,” was Kaz’s response.

“What, that’s it?” Jesper raised his voice, “You have nothing else to say?”

Kaz glared at him from his desk. “I don’t know that you thought through your attachment to her, Jesper. You should never have assumed she was on our side.”

Jesper stared bullets at his boss in front of them. They seriously weren’t going to help her at all? She needed to get out of there, he knew that for certain. If it wasn’t because he cared about her then it should be because she is an asset. A good investment. Saints, he hated calling her that.

He didn’t say any of this, however, and instead started to walk out of the office. Just before he was out the door, he heard Brekker speak up.

“I’ll go and see her tomorrow.”

When Kaz Brekker reached the girl’s window, he gave it exactly seven taps with his cane, with a very specific beat. It was a signal he had made with Y/N so that she knew to open the window and talk to him without him having to raise his voice.

The girl turned toward the window at the sound. She set down the bottle she was currently working on and walked over. Kaz started speaking as soon as it was opened.

“How long have they been drugging you?”

Y/N scoffed, “Hello to you, too!”

“How long?”

“Um, never?” She replied, getting confused. “They don’t drug me with anything. I’d notice. That’s kind of my job description.”

Kaz looked to the side, thinking. The only way to explain her odd behavior, forgetfulness, and calmness in her position was that she was being manipulated. And because she was constantly making poisons and “potions” for Pekka, it made sense that she was being given her own drugs without her knowledge. He had thought this since he’d met her. She had to be on some sort of relaxers when he first saw her. Why else would she have so willingly opened the window for strangers?

“Why did you ignore Jesper when he was here yesterday?” He asked, hoping to get the information from her in a more roundabout way.

“I didn’t?” Y/N asked, “Inej was here yesterday, she got those vials of knockout gas you asked for.”

Kaz squinted at her, “Y/N, that was two days ago.”

She shook her head, “No, no, because I was working on those just yesterday and I just finished them when she stopped by. I haven’t seen Jesper in a couple of days, Kaz. Are you feeling ok?”

Kaz wasn’t sure how to react to this. She had missed the whole day? He was sure things like this had been going on this whole time, but never in the month since they began speaking with her has she forgotten a whole day. She had to have taken something.

“Are you self medicating?”

“No! Why- what are you talking about? What is going on?”

“Y/N, Jesper came here yesterday and you were sitting in that corner near catatonic. You wouldn’t speak or even move.” Kaz informed her.

“He must not have shouted loud enough, I was probably asleep.”

“You normally sleep with your eyes open?” He is tone was sharp. “Jesper said you were crying.”

She didn’t respond. She was shocked out of her mind. It was possible Kaz was lying to her to get some sort of information out of her, but it didn’t seem that way. He looked uneasy, the kind of unease that comes from not knowing something. He was a very smart man, and when something did not make sense to him he got nervous. So, this must have actually happened. And if she could not remember it, something was terribly wrong.

“I’m sorry, Kaz. I just don’t remember.”

“Fine. Then I need you to stop eating the food they give you. I’ll have Inej stop by with something to eat during the day.” Kaz paused, thinking. “And I would like to get you out of here, and have you join the Dregs. I just have to figure out how.”

“No, Kaz. I can’t leave.”

“Why? You have loyalties to Pekka Rollins?” He asked, anger clear in his voice.

Do I? She thought. While she knew his treatment of her was unfair, she wondered whether or not she still cared about him. In her time at the Emerald Palace, Pekka had told her many things about how he was the only one who would ever care for her. He claimed that he had saved her from the Menagerie, and he was taking care of her because he loved her. He also said that he would help her find her sister, often claiming that the potions Y/N was making was helping him follow leads about her.

When he started bringing men down into Y/N’s room, she was only a teenager. The first man that had ever touched her in that room also told her information about upcoming trips, which Pekka used to choose the perfect time to rob his house. Y/N felt disgusting in her skin ever since, but Pekka reassured her. I’m sorry , canary. I’ll protect you. Those men are not like me. While any sane person would call giving her food and shelter supplying her basic needs, Pekka called it courtesy. A gift because he loved her. A gift that could be taken away. He let men take advantage of her just so she could get him information, and then called it love. And she believed him. Until one day.

A man had come down into her room, which was usual for her on any given night. However, this man started out rough and stayed that way for the rest of his visit. She had tried her best with past men to get as much information as she could through simple flirting and drugging, but he was not there for small talk. For a brief moment, she considered saying no. In the moment following, she remembered what happened the other times she had done so.

She didn’t get any of the information she had been asked to draw from the man. Pekka was livid. The argument following had been explosive and painful. Not just emotionally.

“This isn’t love.” She tried to say it in a firm voice, but it came out broken and weak.

“How could you possibly know?” Pekka replied.

“Because you don’t deny it.” She said, summoning the strength to look up at him. “The men who come down here sometimes mention their wives. They might not be the pinnacle of married men, but I know they would never do this. This is bad for me.”

“Oh, is it so bad for you?” He raised his voice. “And who is going to treat you better, hm? Who out there would possibly care about you like I do?”

She turned her back to him. She sniffled as she cleaned up her worktable, silently hoping he would just leave.

He grabbed her arm, whipping her around to face him. “I don’t care if you hate me. You will stay here because of Anais. You will stay because you need me.”

The memory was scarring.

Kaz watched as Y/N got lost in her own thoughts. His voice startled her out of her memories. “Y/N, do you have loyalties to him?”

“My sister, Anais.” She breathed. “He is helping me find my sister.”

“Is that all?”

She shook her head. “You don’t understand. I need to find her. Have you ever had any siblings?”

Kaz paused for a moment. The comment seemed to toy with him. “No.”

“Then you don’t get it. I want to be with people I belong with. To figure out where I’m from.” She sighed. “Pekka is helping me with that.”

“And he has proven that he is actually doing so?”

“He said that he knew she was involved with the slavers who took me away. He is getting in with them to try and figure out where they took her.”

“Y/N, I don’t think he is actually doing that.” Kaz said, shaking his head. “This is your reason for staying?”

“And I have nowhere else to go!”

Kaz took a deep breath. He had decided what he was going to do for the girl since the day he met her. She was an asset. With her power he could complete jobs and gain kruge with record speed. Not to mention, if Kaz had her on his side, Pekka didn’t. The sweet taste of revenge covered his tongue just at the thought.

“I have an offer,” he began, “You come with me. Not now, but soon. I’ll come everyday to ask questions and we’ll plan your escape. In the meantime, you gather your things discreetly and try to find as much dirt on Rollins as you can.”

“But my sister -“

“If you are a part of the Dregs, you will help when asked, but the rest of your time is yours. Look for your sister, gamble your money away, take up baking, — I don’t care. You’ll be free.”

The offer was good. Great, actually. So why was she hesitating? Was Pekka’s manipulation really enough to make her turn away an opportunity like this? I don’t know.

And what about Kaz? Could she really trust him? The man wanted her for her powers, too. How was he different from Pekka? In her limited experience, he wasn’t. I should stay.

But Jesper. In the short while she had known him, Jesper had become her favorite part of being alive. And Inej, who was the kindest soul she had ever encountered. If they were with Kaz, he couldn’t be the demon he tried to be. At least not like Pekka. I should go. I should have gone a long time ago.

“Deal.”

In the weeks following, Kaz came every day to discuss every aspect of the Emerald Palace with her, in the hopes that he could get her out. Getting her out of the building would be simple, but keeping her from being hunted by the Dime Lions for the rest of her days would be complicated. The plan would have to be completely airtight, so Kaz needed time.

A few days later, Jesper was at the window speaking with her. The other members of the dregs would often visit along with Kaz and stay to talk to her, or they might come in his place. Today, after describing her entire tailoring process to Kaz, Y/N was speaking to Jesper about music.

“It’s like this huge golden machine made by Fabrikators, right?” Y/N smiled as she excitedly spoke. “And you take this small disc, place it on the machine and put the needle on it, and then music comes out!”

Jesper grinned at her. He loved the way she looked when she was excited about something. “I don’t know if I’ve ever seen one before.”

“Well, it’s wonderful,” she sighed, “Not to mention there’s thousands of the disc things, and each one is a different song. I wish more people had them than just the rich men who can afford it. I mean I wish I could have one.”

The two had been known to discuss things that had nothing to do with her escape, which Kaz had scolded them for plenty of times. But they enjoyed talking to each other, and they often got distracted. Odd topics of discussion were bound to happen whether they liked it or not. However, when Jesper realized that they had strayed from their original reason for speaking, he redirected the conversation.

“So, you get tailored nearly everyday?”

“Well, whenever anyone comes to see me. Only Pekka knows what I really look like. And you and your friends. Maybe it's a security thing.” She told him, thinking as she spoke. “Also, if anyone sees me who isn’t supposed to, I’m meant to drug them so they forget. Pekka really just does not want anyone knowing I’m here. Some bastard might try to steal me away.”

Jesper smirked at her. “I cannot imagine who would ever do something like that.”

Visits were going relatively well. Kaz had nearly enough information to finalize his plan for her escape, so he visited less and less. Y/N was becoming a solid member of the Crows even though she had so little time with them. She matched Jesper’s humor, built trust with Inej, and had a shared anger for Pekka with Kaz.

Today was Inej’s day to go visit Y/N, and she was running rather late. She knew the girl had mentioned not to visit after the sun went down, but Inej had been busy all day and could only find time to make it to the window after dark. When she got there, however, she realized why Y/N had made the warning.

When she looked through the window, she noticed that Y/N was not alone. When she looked closer, she realized Y/N was with Pekka Rollins. Luckily, Inej was the Wraith, she could watch what happened next without being seen.

“I don’t understand why you wouldn’t want to eat your dinner,” She heard Rollins speak first, in the most condescending tone she had ever heard. “Not after I worked so hard to get your favorite.”

Y/N sat on her cot, avoiding eye contact. “Not hungry.”

Rollins grabbed her by the jaw roughly, forcing her to look at him. Inej noticed tears shining in Y/N’s eyes. “Not hungry, hm? We both know that’s not true.” He laughed, with a terrifying lack of humor behind it. “Why are you lying to me, canary?”

The girl shook her head as the tears fell down her face.

“Your tears will do you no good.” Rollins snarled. “Do not forget what you are.” He paused, raising a brow. “What are you?”

The girl sniffled and didn’t respond.

“What are you?” He shouted and raised his voice this time, causing her to shake.

“A canary.” She whispered out.

“Good, and if I give you a song...”

He raised her chin higher, prompting her to finish his words. “I sing it.” The words fell from her lips like something rehearsed, but unbearably painful.

He gave a tight lipped smile. “Right. Don’t forget it again.” He sat down next to her and handed her the plate she had sat on the table beside her. “Now you eat and I’ll tell you about the man who is coming here tonight.”

Inej felt like she was going to throw up as she travelled the rooftops of Ketterdam back to the Crow Club. She knew Y/N was being mistreated at the Emerald Palace, but seeing it take place was something entirely apart.

As she walked in the doors of the club she felt a presence beside her. She looked over to see Jesper walking with her. He must have been guarding the door. He was waiting to ask a question.

“Yes, Jesper, I went to see her.” Inej spoke to him, her voice rough.

“And?”

“And Pekka Rollins was there.”

Jesper stopped in his tracks. “Saints, is she ok? Are you?”

“I’m fine,” Inej assured, “But I’m not sure about Y/N. He is anything but gentle with her. And he forced her to eat the dinner he gave her. I don’t think she’s gonna be able to avoid the drugs they give her anymore. If only she could remember to take an antidote before her mind goes.”

“Shit, we need to get her out of there, soon.”

The pair once again went to Kaz to discuss the girl, only to find him at his desk, writing furiously with two bottles in front of him.

“Kaz, Inej -“ Jesper was cut off.

“She told me how she’s been killing all those people.” Kaz stared at the bottle in front of him, observing it scientifically.

Inej and Jesper looked at each other before looking back at their boss. What was he on about?

“I don’t understand.” Inej had a confused look on her face as she tried her best to make eye contact with Kaz. She wanted to try and read him like she knew she could, but right now the man in front of her was like a blank page.

“Y/N. She gives them a liquid of her own design, but it isn’t poisonous,” He kept his eyes trained on his work, “At least not until she makes it poisonous. She can give someone poison hours in advance but it kills them right at the perfect moment. Right when she can get away. And, once they are dead, she can change it back to something nontoxic. It’s flawless: not a single trace is left.”

“Great, boss,” Jesper said, growing impatient. “Can we talk about why we are here?”

Kaz frowned, “What, because you want to get Y/N out sooner? She’s in a terrible situation?”

“Exactly,” Inej pleaded.

“If I tried to save everyone in the Barrel I’d be broke by dawn.” Kaz said, looking back at his work. Inej and Jesper stood there in shock. “If you don’t have anything else to say…”

Inej placed a hand up to keep Jesper from exploding. “Kaz, you told us that you would help her escape.”

“I needed information, Wraith, you wouldn’t help me if I told the truth.”

Jesper spoke up, “So you lied to us? And what did you tell her?”

“Nothing. She’s prepared to leave the Emerald Palace tonight.” Kaz tsked. “I doubt she’ll make it two feet out the building without our help. Solves all of my problems.”

Without another word, Inej slipped out of the room, leaving the boys to fight. Through the walls, she heard muffled shouting.

“How could you? You act like you have nothing you believe in but really you are so terrible that you’ve made yourself your own Saint!” Jespers voice was desperate, filled with rage. The betrayal he felt was clear even though he was muffled. He sniffed. “Put too much faith in that saint and he’ll kill your friends.”

Inej cringed, hating the harsh truths her friend was sending toward her boss. She had always known partnership with Kaz would mean conflict, but it also meant freedom. She and Jesper often commented on their cold-hearted boss. “We are both too good for him.” Jesper would laugh as he said it, but now it seemed to be a reason to leave. But where would they go? When it came to Kaz Brekker, no one was better, and no one was worse.

One thing was for certain, Inej was not going to let her friend die. She had just pulled Y/N up from the grave, and she’d be damned if she let Kaz Brekker push her back in. If he was so certain the girl would be dead by tomorrow, she’d get to her before then. She didn’t have time for Kaz’s lectures and Jesper’s shouting. There was a life at stake. She begged the Saints to help her, but deep down she knew that this was up to her and her knives. If Inej couldn’t save Y/N, the Wraith would.

When she reached the Emerald Palace, a nauseous feeling spread throughout her stomach. She willed her hands to stop shaking, but the tremor remained. She reached the window after carefully checking her surroundings and gasped at what she saw. Nothing remained in Y/N’s room but a white letter and dark ash, both standing out against the gray stone floor. Inej frowned in confusion. So, she is gone. Where could she be?

Y/N was a smart girl, she could be out of Ketterdam by now. However, she had barely had any human contact and had been drugged and manipulated for years. If she was not already found by Pekka Rollins, she could have already been killed on the street. But no one knew who she was, and only Pekka and the Crows knew what she truly looked like. She had become one huge question.

Suddenly, Inej remembered something.. Specifically, a conversation she had with Y/N not long ago.

Inej, this might be the worst thing I’ve ever made. She had said, a fire in her eyes.

Then why are you smiling? Inej replied.

Look! Y/N had pulled a thin glass bottle of a swirling liquid and a small flower out from behind her back. She then poured a drop of the bottle on the flower, which disintegrated into a pile of ash within seconds.

Saints. Inej was amazed.

Wild, huh? Footsteps came from the stairwell in the corner of the room. Shit. Inej, go. Inej hesitated. Go! He’ll see you!

Now, looking at the large pile of ash on the floor of the room, Inej realized what had happened.

“Saints,” She whispered, tears forming in her eyes. “She’s drunk it.”

She heard footsteps approaching in the alley, and immediately grabbed two of her knives, ready to protect herself.

“Easy,” Jesper appeared, holding his hands out toward her. “It’s just me.”

Inej lowered her knives as she stared back at him. “We’re too late, Jes. She’s gone.”

He laughed, nervous. “No, she wouldn’t.” He lowered himself down to the window. “No.”

Inej stood up and looked up at the stars, praying to any Saint that she could think of that she wasn’t dead. That her friend was out there somewhere. Alive. “Jesper, we need to get out of here.”

“But,” Jesper paused, his voice weak. “She was just here.”

“She’s not anymore.” Inej looked at him with pity. She could tell how much the girl had meant to him. “I’m sorry.”

“She was just here.” He repeated, voice cracks littering his words.

Inej grabbed his hand, forcing him out of this frozen state. “I know, Jes. I’m sorry.”

#jesper fahey x reader #jesper fahey fanfic #jesper fahey imagine #shadow and bone fanfiction #shadow and bone x reader #six of crows imagine #six of crows x reader #jesper fahey x you

[pink-surftable]

Initials (Pt. 5) | Kaz Brekker

kaz brekker x fem!reader

ps: english is not my first language so if there are some gramatical mistakes i would love if you pointed them out so i can improve.

omg here it is!!!! the last chapter!! once again thank you to everyone who likes and coments i love you so much <3 what a journey it has been lol

warnings: i think kaz is very soft in this one but fuck it we all need soft kaz once in a while.

part 4

summary: after a mission goes wrong kaz does everything in his power to save you.

——————————————————————————

You saw Kaz jumping right into action trying to get you out of your restraints while Inej was desperately trying to hold down Pekka. Y/N felt a wave of relief washing over her.

Her friends were there. Her family.

“Well, well, well it was quite the party in here” Jesper said firing at everything in sight while Nina was using her powers and Matthias ran out to help Y/N “Go with Inej” He shouted at Kaz. He didn’t want to leave you but he knew Matthias could protect you better than he could. He looked at you and as you nodded he picked up his cane and headed straight for Pekka Rollins.

Looking out, Kaz saw he ran off to the streets “Fucking bastard” he thought. But there wasn’t time to go after him. Bullets were firing everywhere and Inej and Y/N were hurt they needed to get out.

Matthias helped you get free, dropping his coat on your shoulders “Take this, you’ll need it” He said noting the state of your clothes. You thanked him “You’ll probably need this too” he added, giving you one of your knives. “Come on, we need to get out of here”

Alarms were ringing and you could see guards running to where you guys were through the windows.

“As much as I’m enjoying this it’s time to go” Jesper shouted over the noise grabbing everyone's attention. Him and Nina started clearing the way while you and Matthias ran after them. The druskelle carrying almost your entire body weight as you leaned into him for support “Kaz come on! Let’s go!” You screamed at him. He was fighting a few guards with a visible rage on his features.

Making your way through the hallways was not an easy task. Guards were firing from everywhere when you heard another explosion. You saw Jesper laugh running towards the sound where you found Wylan. His hair was a mess as he hugged Jesper.

Finally on the streets of Ketterdam you looked around. Seeing all your friends there, alive, free gave you an immense amount of relief.

Shots could still be heard so you had to keep running but you were too tired you didn’t know if you could make it.

Kaz looked into your eyes. He could already sense what was going through your mind when your knees gave out, your back colliding with the concrete.

Matthias looked at you then at Kaz, like asking for permission. When he nodded, the fjerdan picked you up in his arms and started running towards the Slat with everyone else.

Kaz hated it. He hated that he couldn’t help. He hated that he couldn’t give you his coat. He hated that he couldn’t pick you up in his arms. Instead he had to stand and watch another man do what he so dearly wished to do.

——————————————————————————

Arriving to the Slat was like arriving to heaven.

As soon as you guys got there Nina started working her magic on both you and Inej. You knew the amount of effort was draining her but she refused to stop.

Once you both were stable an air of relief filled the place.

Inej went straight to her room to rest.

Kaz told you to go to his room.

Lying down in Kaz’s bed he took a seat next to you on a chair.

“Hey, look at me” you tried to catch his attention “Hey i’m alright. I’m okay. We got out. We’re okay” you desperately wanted to touch him. To reach and grab his hands. To tell him how much you loved him. But Kaz wouldn’t meet your eyes his eyes were trained on something else.

The bright red marks on your skin. His intials.

“Stop that I know what you’re thinking, this isn’t your fault”

“Yes it is. And I hate it. I hate that this happened to you. I hate that I couldn’t come to your rescue sooner. I hate the way that bastard touched you. I hate that I wish that I could push you away. I hate that I’m selfish and even though it’s a constant risk I don’t want you to go anywhere. I hate that I want you to stay with me. I hate that you make me weak. I hate how you make me not hate” Kaz said looking firmly into your eyes. That confession was much more than what you ever expected.

The vulnerability of it all made you weak. Weak cause you thought that confession was beyond anything Kaz Brekker had ever felt. Beyond anything he would ever say.

You smiled. The most honest and happy smile that man had ever seen and you swore you saw the faintes blush on his cheeks but he would never confess to that.

“You make me not hate too” You said almost laughing.

——————————————————————————

The days passed and Kaz Brekker could not stop the giddy feeling he got any time he looked at you.

The Crows couldn’t believe what they were seeing. The Bastard of the Barrel looking at a girl, his girl, like a 10 year old with a crush.

Obviously the teasing was never ending. Kaz secretly loved it.

Sitting in Kaz’s office was your new routine.

He would be at his desk, papers everywhere and you would sit by the window talking to him or reading.

“I got you something” He said, standing in the doorway with a little box in his hands.

“What? What is it?” You asked with the excitement of a child which made Kaz grin.

The boy opened the box showing a beautiful gold necklace with a little heart charm engraved in it you saw his initials: K.B

“I wanted you to remember my name, not by your scars, but by something beautiful just like you” He said waiting for your reaction.

“I love it. I love you” You said with glossy eyes and a dopey smile.

“May I?” Kaz said taking off his gloves and pulling out the chain.

“Are you sure? You don’t have to” What he was doing was more than enough you didn’t want him to feel like he needed to do more.

“I want to”

You turned around and he slowly grabbed your hair and pulled it to the side. Clipping the necklace on you felt the lightest touch of his lips on your neck.

“I love you too”

taglist: @heavenlymidnight @06072543 @thefandomplace @aleksanderwh0r3 @kykymyeon @rika90 @otterly-fey @cc13723things @starxqt @purplewcrld @thecraziestcrayon @montsepliego @madeofsilkandsteel @benbarnes-supremacy @maryosprinkle @subjecta13-thefangirl @maybe-potato

#kaz brekker #kaz brekker x reader #kaz brekker imagine #six of crows #six of crows x reader #grishaverse #six of crows imagine #leigh bardugo #crooked kingdom #fanfiction #jesper fahey #inej ghafa #nina zenik #mattias helvar #wylan van eck #writing #shadow and bone #freddy carter

[parkersbliss]

My Reason | K. Brekker

pairing: kaz brekker x female reader

warnings: cursing? maybe slightly out of character?

wc; 2k

synopsis: kaz brekker makes a desperate attempt to protect you, but it backfires for both parties

prompts: 015: “You’re everywhere I go!” 020: “I just wanted you to be happy.”

a/n: kaz brekker: *breathes* me: I LOVE YOU YOUVE DONE NOTHING WRONG MY SWEET CHILD

Masterlist | Taglist | Prompt List

—

You felt like crying.

Scratch that. You were going to cry.

You were going to cry and possibly throw something, anything. You wanted to grab a knife and chuck it at the wall repeatedly until there was a hole.

You wanted the wall to feel the same pain as you.

Like there was a hole in it.

Ironic.

Kaz Brekker, dirtyhands, the bastard of the barrel, shattered your heart. And he probably didn’t even know it or cared.

Kaz only cared, for one thing, money. You couldn’t blame him for that. Money was something necessary in Ketterdam. You needed money to stay alive and above the rest.

But money also puts a sign on your head. A big red blinking sign that probably says something like “big kill, big money.”

You weren’t stupid. You were very well aware of how big of a sign Kaz had on his head. Plenty of people wanted his head on a spike. You almost want to add yourself to the list.

“What?” You asked, voice small.

“Don’t make me repeat it.”

Kaz doesn’t bother to look at you. His eyes stay trained at his desk, filing through paperwork for the slat. He scribbles on them, whether it be a signature or a check.

“I don’t understand.”

“I’ve made myself clear.”

“No.”

“I’m not asking.”

“I don’t want to.”

“(Y/N), this isn’t up for debate.”

“Well, it should be! I should be allowed to have a say in this.”

“You don’t get one!” Kaz said harshly, finally meeting your eyes. “Out.”

You want to refuse, sit there and scream at him for the rest of the night. But you can’t. Kaz Brekker won either way. It doesn’t matter if you sat in his office the rest of the night and argued. His say was final. You would only be denying the inevitable by fighting.

You stand up, blinking through the tears forming in your eyes. The words slip past your lips before you even realize.

“I hate you.”

You slam the door shut behind you, missing the way Kaz’s face drops, and his pen explodes from the force of his grip.

He had kicked you out like that. Stripped you of everything you are. One mission gone wrong, and you were booted back onto the streets of Ketterdam.

He had kicked you from the Dregs.

It wasn’t even your fault. You didn’t understand his reasoning. You got shot, and the next thing you know, as soon as you've recovered, you’re alone.

And honestly, if Pekka Rollins himself asked you to murder Kaz, you just might. The Dregs weren't a gang; they were a family. They were home to you.

A home that you hadn’t had in a while, but it wasn’t just the Dregs. It was Kaz Brekker. The bastard of the barrel was also the person that held your heart in his hands. He was the person you went to at midnight when you didn’t know what else to do.

He was the person that listened to you.

He was your person.

But you weren’t his.

You grabbed the knife off the table and throw it as hard as you can at the wall.

You miss.

You grab the knife, wiping away the tears blurring your vision, and aim again. This time it lands in the wall. You clutch it and throw it again.

And again.

And again.

…

The Crow Club is still as lively as ever as you walk past it. You contemplate going inside, but you know better. A shadow catches your eye behind you, but there’s no one out here but you.

And yet, you can’t shake the feeling of being watched. Then again, any member of the Dregs was constantly being watched.

You shrugged it off.

Work was easy to find in a place like Ketterdam. It was also easy as one of the top assassins. You busied yourself in easy missions with easy targets.

It was the one thing in your life that remain stable. It was after one of these missions while cleaning your knife, did you see her.

“Inej?”

The said girl steps out of the shadows, silent as ever, and pulls down her face covering. “Hey.”

“What are you doing here?”

“The same thing as you.”

You use your knife to gesture to the dead man on the floor, and she nods.

“Looks like I beat you to it,” You joke, tucking your knife away and rolling your shoulders.

“It would appear so.”

You want to ask how everything is, and despite every bone in your body, how Kaz is.

But instead, you turn around to leave.

“We miss you,” Inej blurts.

You freeze, letting your shoulders fall. “I miss you guys, too.”

“He’s an idiot.”

“You don’t have to tell me that.”

Inej nods, stepping back into the shadows, and you leave, an aching in your heart.

But that wasn’t the last time you ran into Inej. You saw her everywhere after that and nowhere at the same time. At first, you didn’t mind, but then it became unsettling.

You felt like you were being watched in your own home, but there was no one. It was hard to explain. You always saw her in town, but the feeling of being watched couldn’t be shaken when you got home.

You didn’t know how to explain it. You wanted to call her out on it, but you said nothing.

Until you did catch her in your house.

You let her off with a warning by throwing a knife into her corner. It was never going to hit her, neither of you would allow it, but she stepped out after that.

You raise an eyebrow at her. “What are you doing?”

“Checking on you.”

“That’s bullshit.”

“I’m just looking out-”

“You’re everywhere I go!” You shout, “Everywhere, Inej. If you wanted to look out for me, you could use the door and ask!”

“I’m sorry,” The Suli girl said.

You pinch the bridge of your nose, sighing. You feel bad for yelling at her. Inej was one of your closest friends, and she was only looking out for you. “Inej, it’s fine I just-”

“It’s Kaz.”

“Kaz?” You question, voice softening.

“He wants to know that you’re okay, and not dead. Every time you go on a mission, he sends me as unofficial backup.”

“I can take care of myself. If he’s so worried about my safety, he shouldn’t have kicked me out in the first place," You snap.

“Maybe you should tell him that.”

You turn to face Inej, but when you do, she’s gone.

Kaz? This was his doing? You didn’t believe her, but you also knew she wouldn’t lie. You sit on the edge of your bed, staring out the window. Kaz wants to know if you’re okay.

Kaz Brekker, the man that kicked you from the Dregs wants to make sure you’re okay. The thought should be comforting, but it’s more infuriating to you. At first, you thought maybe he had changed his mind, but this was worse. He didn't trust you to take care of yourself or respect you in the slightest.

You were angry at him. You didn’t understand why, and he refused to tell you. He was so stuck up, thinking that keeping his feelings from others would make him appear stronger.

But the strongest thing anyone can do is admit them.

You stand up, grabbing your knife from the wall and tucking it into your belt.

There was someone you needed to see.

It’s bitter cold outside, biting and chilling. It forces you to walk faster towards the Slat. No one questions you when you walk in; it’s normal to them.

In fact, they look happy to see you.

Jesper’s eyes light up, and he goes to hug you, but Wylan pulls him back.

“That’s her pissed-off face.”

“I would wear earplugs if I were you,” Nina warns, “(Y/N) doesn’t back down from a fight and certainly not with Kaz.”

You make no comment and step past them, making your way up to his office.

You don’t bother knocking and throw open the door, eyes blazing.

Kaz’s head snaps up from his work, equally pissed that someone dared to open his door without permission, but then his eyes soften.

“You’re supposed to knock first, you know that,” Kaz said sharply.

You roll your eyes, slamming the door behind you. Nina smirks as she sits with the other crows outside the door, all wearing earplugs to reduce the sound of your screaming that's bound to come.

“I don’t care about your petty rules, Brekker.”

Venom drips from your voice, and Kaz sets down his pen, leaning back in his chair. “Is there something you want?”

“An explanation.”

“I can’t offer you that.”

“Kaz, you promised.”

His lip twitches ever so slightly at that.

“You promised me this. We made a deal. And Kaz Brekker goes through with all his deals.”

Kaz is silent. He’s at a loss for words. Dirtyhands did not have the upper hand here, and it seemed he was finally stunned.

“You can’t just send Inej out to watch over me after you kicked me out, okay? If you don’t have an explanation, at least let me live the rest of my life without you watching over.”

Nothing.

You sigh, pushing the tears back, ready to make your way out of the slat for the last time, but then he speaks. His voice is raspier than usual but soft, almost like a whisper.

“I just wanted you to be happy.”

“Happy?” You scoff. “Why would that ever make me happy?”

“It was a way out.”

“Out of what, Kaz?”

“This!” He shouts, standing up and gesturing to the walls around you both. “This lifestyle of doing the dirty work to survive and always having a sum of money plastered on your forehead.”

“I don’t want out!”

“It was a way for you to escape…. to escape me.”

There’s silence as you process his words. You wanted to be angry at Kaz and continue to lash out at him, but you understand. He had given you your reason, and you're damned because it's a good one.

But you didn't want to escape him. Kaz was the only reason you stayed in Ketterdam; he was the thing that kept you grounded here. He was your person.

“Why would I ever want that?”

“You hate me.”

You shake your head, “Kaz-”

He cuts you off, switching topics. “This lifestyle isn’t meant for you.”

“It’s not meant for any of us.”

“I gave you a chance.”

“You gave me a reason.”

“A reason?”

Kaz waits for an answer, but you’re afraid to give it. The hardest thing anyone can do is admit their feelings. And you're unsure if you're strong enough to face them.

Kaz Brekker was stone cold, and you don't know if he'd drop the facade, even for you.

“You are the reason I deal with this lifestyle,” You finally said, voice barely above a whisper as you feel the weight lift from your shoulders. “Because it’s worth it. You are worth it.”

“I am not worth anything,” Kaz dismissed.

“Kaz Rietveld, you are worth everything to me.”

The boy freezes, and you take a step forward, placing your hand inches from his. Your heart beats madly in your chest, and you feel like you're suffocating as you wait for an answer, a reaction, anything. You expect him to pull away, but he doesn't. He stares at your hand inches from his on his desk.

“I’m sorry,” he whispers.

“It’s okay,” You said.

His eyes meet yours, and you can see the fear in them. His hands are shaky, but he manages to take yours in them. He still wears his gloves, and your hands are just barely resting on top of his, but it means enough to you.

“You’re worth everything to me,” he repeats back to you.

Your heart bursts in your chest as Kaz squeezes your hand lightly. The action means everything to you.

Nina screams in triumph with the rest of the crows outside the door.

You and Kaz laugh, still holding his hand.

And at that moment, you know, you are his everything, and he is yours.

#AYE FIRST KAZ ONE SHOT #I LOVE IT SM #FREDDYS EYES 😩 #this gif is my will to live #kaz brekker #kaz brekker x you #kaz brekker x reader #soc kaz #six of crows #six of crows imagine #shadow and bone #grishaverse #kaz brekker fanfic #kaz brekker fic #kaz brekker angst #kaz brekker fluff #kaz brekker one shot #kaz brekker imagine #crooked kingdom