#this still looks kind of weird to me but idk what to change ugh

[aleksa-sims]

RL Story (18+)

Daniel’s sister came to visit us. She brought me a dress. Daniel’s Mother gave it to me, it was from her vintage shop.

After T. went home, I unpacked my gift. I was so excited and curious. Daniel’s Mom paid for my wedding dress, which I discovered in her shop. But why did she give me a dress again? As I thought about the dress, I tried it on. Daniel also came to me in the bedroom, looking at me for a while without saying anything. I turned my eyes away from the mirror and smiled at him. But Daniel just shot me an annoyed look....

Me: Hey 🙂.... I wonder why your Mom gave me a dress again? It’s nice but it doesn’t suit me... I look pregnant in that dress.😕

Daniel: You are pregnant!

Me: I'm 3 months. I shouldn’t look pregnant yet.

Daniel: You keep that dress?

Me: Um... yea. Why not? Don't you like it?

Daniel: No! I hate it! I hate that you keep letting my mother influence you. You know what she did to me. Why do you even listen to her? Or accept her gifts?

Me: I was just being kind. She paid for my wedding dress. But I have not forgotten what she has done to you. I talked to her about it several times. She knows what I think of her as a mother. I’m on your side, not hers.

Daniel: She knows you want to divorce me. A wedding dress a few months ago, now you got a ..... dress for our divorce. That's her message behind that dress! You got it? This is who she is, my crazy Mother!..... She's not your friend! You have to understand!

Me: D., wait!.... I won’t divorce you. You’re right! I hate that dress. If that’s really true, I never want to talk to your mother again.

Daniel: You don’t take me seriously, just like her.

Me: Of course I do.... I take everything you do- or say seriously, maybe too seriously. I thought you were sick of me, so you left. And now come to me. Take off my dress.

Daniel: And what then?

Me: I missed you sm. For months, I’ve been imagining this with you. I wish you'd come back to me...more than anything else.

Daniel: I thought you couldn’t sleep with me? You said it feels weird to you, bcs you’re pregnant and it’s not my Baby.

Me: I didn't mean that.... I want you. And I love you.

Daniel: She was watching us...... more often than you think.

Me: Who’s watching us?

Daniel: Irma, babe. You told me yourself, you saw her in our mirror.

Me: Ah, I was high, Daniel.

I had no idea why Daniel suddenly mentioned Irma? Before I could ask him, he pushed me onto our bed and bent over me.

I knew he was upset about my divorce petition. But as soon as we kissed, everything was forgotten. I could no longer reject him. The longer I was with him, the more I wanted him. We were both totally... absorbed in each other. Still, I got a feeling something's off?

Me: You said she watched us...

Daniel: I was in my house.

Me: When?

Daniel: 2 Months ago. And..... Irma came to me, halfnaked. 🤨

Me: WHAT??😧 ... W-what did you do???

Daniel: Idk? I was... high. Someone covered all the mirrors in the house. But I was alone! So who was it? You get me?

Me: You said Irma that fucking weirdo was there. Naked!!!😖😒

Daniel: Agh, yeah. She came by, but I didn’t let her in the house! She just got me pissed off. She talked about that crazy ass-shit as usual. Her fucking premonitions.

Me: Ugh, I hate that bitch! But I'm sure it was your Mom! I remember exactly, the first time I visited you, she also covered a mirror. Maybe Irma that weirdo told her you were in the house. So she came by when you were sleeping.

Daniel: But that's not possible. When I kicked her out, I had the lock changed. Don't you remember?

Me: Shit.... You scare me, yk? Idk if I can live there?... Still D., I’m sure your crazy mother is behind it. Maybe you didn’t lock the door after all?

Me: Is that all you wanted to tell me? You still haven’t told me who that girl is, who was there yesterday.

Daniel: Forget that! That’s Alex’s business, not mine.... Yk, I still feel dead sometimes. You know what I’m talking about.

Me: Yes🙁.... I’m afraid I’m doing everything wrong again, so tell me what to do. I wanna help you get better.

Daniel: I see you’re trying. You’re pregnant and yet, you stay with me, instead of going to him.... Even if you’re not together, he wants you and his... kid. I’m kind of in your way.

Me: But I don’t wanna leave you.😞 I can't live without you. I need you and you me.

Daniel: That's not the point. Fact is, it's not my Baby! YOU’re mine and I don’t wanna let you go. But it doesn’t feel right, to chain you to me. It feels like compulsion. I don’t want to force you to do anything or make you feel like you have to stay with me.

Me: I wouldn’t mind being chained to you forever. So you never leave me again, like you did 5 months ago. ��

Daniel: Then show me that you really want me. I need to feel & believe you wanna stay with me.

Me: I’ve only been here 2 days. I do everything you want, but I never know if I’m doing the right thing?

Daniel: You’re not supposed to do anything for me, just for yourself. You, got to want it.

I slept with him. Atm, I didn’t regret it. I loved him so much, I didn’t care that I was pregnant. I thought Daniel and I will just stay together after that night, but already the next morning, he started to behave strangely towards me. That- or actually he, got me totally down. Though I wished to stay with Daniel, I didn’t want to hurt N. And tbh, with N., I felt better, I think? It just gets more complicated and painful between Daniel and me.

Previous/Next

#ts4 #sims 4 #sims 4 story #myrlgameplay #rl story #18+ content #cw pregnancy #cw divorce

[snickerdoodlles]

Macau&Chay you got mail AU? Please tell us more!

lil late to answering but!! YES!! time for some good ol' AU nostalgia, which is really funny to me because what I know about that movie I learned exclusively through this being a really popular fandom AU like 10 years ago or whatever. anywho!!! the fic:

Macau and Chay know each other vaguely as "that guy (derogatory) from my school"

they don't actually dislike each other. there's no reason for it. this isn't even a rivalry, just that somehow, somewhere in their years of overlapping schooling, they rubbed some shoulders somewhere and went "ugh nope, wrong vibes."

'fuktong1' and 'free waifuuu'* meet on videogame chat boards. it started as a need for an extra player to round out a team, but they like each other best out of the group and soon start coordinating to play together regularly.

its a solid friendship!! neither has any particular desire to bring their friendship out of the videogame/chatroom context yet, but Macau does once send Chay a bundle of games for his old system that Chay wouldn't have been able to afford otherwise.

this changes after Yok's bar.

Chay is…not so fond of shooting games now. being slapped in the face with his lack of awareness is a large part of it, but learning Porsche was literally in a shoot-out while he was tucked away ignorant and oblivious is similarly bad for him. it's a rough time to be Chay basically :(

luckily for him, fuktong1 has never been overly fond of shooting games and has so many recommendations that are much more palatable for Chay's current tastes. they play together more and more, and naturally chat more and more, and overall get much closer.

Macau and Chay's relationship also change. for the worse specifically.

Chay's really going through shit right now -- loansharks and low grade mafia thugs have been beating down his door all his life, and now Porsche is running a mafia branch. (the branch that specifically deals with shaking down people and cleaning up the main family's mess, no less.) he's isolated in the family compound and cut off from everything he's known. somehow his mother's back from the dead (kind of). he's still barely seeing Porsche. Kim's giving him mixed messages. he's really fucking pissed at everything, and Vegas (Macau's brother) was also responsible for (or at least tied to) his kidnapping, second attempted kidnapping, and Porsche's new injuries. Chay has zero sympathy to spare for ANY mafia-related people, and Macau is part of mafia-related people.

Macau is ALSO going through shit right now -- Vegas was shot up and is now bedridden in the hospital. the father who never cared for them is dead. the uncle who cared even less took away their men and home to give to Porsche. the same uncle may or may not being looking after him and Vegas to either kill or use them later. Macau, who was also iced out of the mafia business by a protective brother, has absolutely no idea what's happening as everything spirals out of control. his only support is his (bedridden!) brother's maybe boyfriend, who was previously only known to Macau as his eldest cousin's head bodyguard. he probably has finals to deal with too. it's a rough fucking time to be Macau, ex-fucking-cuse him if he doesn't give a shit about Chay suddenly getting what was previously his and Vegas's wealth and security.

someone more well versed in videogames will have to give me suggestions for what games they play, idk enough about those because ultimately this whole situation is just to force Chay and Macau to see each other in a new light. because they don't have any reason to like each other in or after canon! Vegas and Porsche have their weird friend-enemy dance, because they're bros and like each other, and Porsche can't hold a grudge to save his life and Vegas's relationships are so fucked up that anyone who genuinely likes him bypasses any other complications, but their relationship doesn't translate to Macau or Chay. at all. Macau and Chay both have only ever had their older brother as their support their entire lives and absolutely hold grudges against intruders (for themselves and their brothers).

Chay figures out who fuktong1 is first. (how? no clue! maybe they planned to meet up and it went bust, maybe one of Macau's usernames gives a clue? idk.) initially, Chay's outraged, because he keeps dealing with his life suddenly going "and it's mafia!" for fucking everything, and Chay's so, so angry about it all. but he also can't help but put the puzzle pieces together. suddenly realizing his friend fuktong1 has also had to dance around the mafia issues every time they talk and the general recontextualizing of everything his friend ever told him with what Chay now knows about the Theerapanyakul family takes almost all the heat out of Chay's anger towards everything and all he can feel is sad. sad about the circumstances forced on him and Porsche and Macau (and Kim and Khun and Kinn and even Vegas), sad about their loneliness, sad about the trials and burdens the mafia (Korn, Korn and Gun) have put all of them through. it's…a lot to deal with.

(whether this realization happens before his reconciliation with Kim and facilitates it, or happens after it and he has Kim's shoulder to cry on is tbd. depends on which one is the more emotional spin cycle really, it could go either way.)

on Macau's end, he has a brief spike of anxiety and self-pity when his friend free waifuuu abruptly disappeared on him, but he doesn't think anything more on it after he pops up again (he doesn't). their friendship grows deeper as they both open up to each other about more of their personal lives and they're both very sympathetic to each other without ever falling into pity. idk how Macau and Chay's relationship progresses after Chay's discovery or how the 'free waifuuu is Chay' revelation comes about yet, except that there are a lot of tears, a lot of yelling, and ultimately they become proper friends both on and off the chat boards, weird mafia family relationships and that time Chay called Macau 'daddy' for a week after he gave him a bunch of turnips in Animal Crossing aside.

*usernames are a work-in-progress, as usernames are NOT my specialty, esp not in a different language. Macau is playing with 'fuk'--he actually learned 'fuck' from Vegas before he learned the thai 'fuk' (gourd), and he's been having fun with it since. Chay's is a play off the phrase "sleep with me, free wifi" which i am told is slang more or less equivalent to 'netflix and chill' (i think? someone might be playing with me, idk). anyways, Chay greets Macau with "hey pumpkin~" when he's feeling flirty. they have so many husband/wife in-jokes.

#ask game: fics im not writing #kinnporsche #i have so many opinions and feelings about macau & chay's relationship #they get all the complications vegas and porsche decide to ignore and that's SO much fun for me #username suggestions are also welcome so long as they meet two criteria: zero reference to their actual names because internet safety #and dirty joke references because they are ridiculous teenagers #this is very important to me

[linabirb]

1, 2, 3, 5, and 18 for Dazai, Makima, Reo, Bachira and Yuno. :D Ooh, you're into Kakegurui too! :DD The same questions for Kirari and Yumeko.

hi aurora!! ty for asking! (sorry for a late reply, i was busy ><)

"Why do you like or dislike this character?"

dazai:

LITERALLY JUST THISCHJSJKSKSKD he's everywhere. every single time there's an anime guy with fluffy brown hair and brown eyes you just KNOW someone in the comments is gonna be like "omg he looks like dazai" no he doesn't.

also.. idk i just got tired of him. i did think he's funny when i first got into bsd (i was 13-14 so you didn't have to do much for me to think you're funny) but now everything about his behavior is so. ugh. it's like okay!! you're a walking red flag!! not in a fun way!!

i still think he's a well-written character though. just not my type.

makima: i can just say that i'm into dominant women honestly her design is so cool!! i have her plushie right next to me rn. she's staring into my soul. she's a really cool and well-written character and i don't know, there's just something about her that still makes you (me.) trust her even though you know she's the villain here. also i really love characters who do horrible, horrible things but they believe that there is no other way and they believe they're doing the right thing. something about her is also weirdly comforting to me but we're not gonna unpack that right now that moment in the manga when she said that denji can just rely on her and he doesn't have to do anything. that felt personal to me. also the fact that in the end she just needed a hug and needed someone to love her.. idk, it's probably cheesy, but i found it heartbreaking.

reo: HE'S JUST LIKE ME FR!!! it's pretty much impossible for me to talk about reo without oversharing stuff so i'm just gonna say that. well. i know what it's like to be a sheltered kid who doesn't even know what they want from life but when they finally start to realize what they probably want, they get hit with that "nah don't do that" and also his relationship with nagi is so... HHHHHHH been there. done that. know what it's like. i was literally going "BABY NO. NO DON'T DO THAT IT'S ONLY GONNA HURT YOU MORE" even though i do like this ship djdksks. anyway yeah his character is very realistic, it was so painful for me to read the part where nagi was like "nvm i need you actually" and he said that exactly when reo started to move on...

bachira: i actually didn't like him that much at first because i'm usually not a fan of characters who.. like. have this "weird and goofy" kind of personality, i just find them kinda exhausting, but bachira's character actually turned out to be much deeper than i expected and i find him very relatable as well. also most of the time he felt like the most normal character to me HSJSJKAKDK

yuno: SHE IS SO. *falls on the floor and starts sobbing* i'm not usually a fan of characters who are like.. very fun and cheerful on the outside, but they're actually suffering (and i have. so many ocs like that. ironic, isn't it) because most of the time it's either written kinda poorly, doesn't feel relatable, or the fandom just boils their character down to that one trait, but yuno's character felt very refreshing to me, because her t1 personality already felt kinda fake and even es mentioned that she doesn't have to pretend around them and when yuno really does stop pretending, like. it's so cool because at the same time she changed a lot, but you know that she actually hasn't changed at all and she's always been like that. there always were signs that yuno is actually colder (haha get it) than she acts so it isn't surprising for her to act this way in t2 and it doesn't feel too drastic. also her wanting to be seen as an adult and wanting people to stop coming up with sympathetic motives for her is so.. it's so good.

kirari: hmmm i actually don't really have a strong opinion about her! she's cool! but i like her design a lot! her hairstyle, her eyes, her iconic lipstick, she's so pretty!

yumeko: YUMEKO JABAMI THE WOMAN THAT YOU AREEEEE... the crush i had on this girl when i was younger was so. shsdjasksksk. i know i just said i don't really like "weird" characters but yumeko is so unhinged, it's so fun to watch! i really like kakegurui exactly because of how it just. lets women do wild things and be in the center of attention and all. i like how at the same time it's hinted that her character is much deeper than it seems, but also she just REALLY likes gambling!

"Favorite canon thing about this character?"

dazai: probably not really a "canon" thing but i think his bsd wan design is cute :3

makima: SHE'S SUCH A GOOD MANIPULATOR IT DRIVES ME INSANE /pos

reo: i'll just put this here.

bachira: HIS RELATIONSHIP WITH HIS MOM IS SO. 🥹🥹🥹🥺🥺🥺🥺

yuno: her answers to the interrogation questions are always so funny like you just know the girl is gonna deliver. "can you speak other languages?" "i can't speak english!" <- written in english. "can you tell us about your family-" "I ALREADY TOLD YOU I DON'T HAVE A FATHER"

kirari: that one scene with her and sayaka falling from that tower has changed me as a person forever

yumeko: she takes gambling so seriously, it's both cute and terrifying jdkdksks her relationship with midari is so funny 😭😭

"Least favorite canon thing about this character?"

dazai: his. uh. his personality in general jskslals SORRY IF HE WAS REAL I WOULD'VE PUNCHED HIM IN THE FACE ALREADY

makima: hmm don't think i have one

reo: it's like. at the same time it's basically my fav canon thing but sometimes i'm like "dude. please let nagi go. i promise you're gonna be fine. he's gonna be fine. guys. guys please"

bachira: don't really have one! good for you king

yuno: m-maybe the abortion reveal was too early?.. it's like, at the same time it fits her character, but i really feel like it was a bit rushed. (well if it really is true and it doesn't turn out that her murder actually was different) also GIRL WHO SAYS "uhh yeah that's probably murder". PROBABLY???

kirari: at the same time i like her "way too powerful student council president" status, but sometimes it feels like. too extra for me jdkdlsls

yumeko: sometimes i forget that her main motivation is to play a game with kirari, but then i remember and kinda.. get disappointed.. like girl what about simply having fun and vibing. her character does NOT need a goal!! she's perfect WITHOUT any motivation!!

"What's the first song that comes to mind when you think about them?"

my brain goes empty when it comes to music I'M SORRYDJDKSDLDL

"How about a relationship they have in canon with another character that you admire?"

dazai: not really "admire", but i think his dynamic with atsushi is cute.

makima: .. i don't remember her interacting with anyone except denji and some other characters HSJSKSLSL

reo: .. again DOES HE EVEN HAVE ANY IMPORTANT DYNAMICS WITH OTHER CHARACTERS. NOT COUNTING NAGI.

bachira: his relationship with nagi and isagi is neat :)

yuno: her relationship with kazui.. much to think about..

kirari: her relationship with sayaka! i don't ship them but i think their dynamic is really interesting.

yumeko: i'm going to say something controversial but. i think her dynamic with suzui is actually kinda cute?? again i don't ship them but it's. it's wholesome :)

#[ 💓 𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐚 𝐩𝐥𝐚𝐲𝐬 𝐚𝐬𝐤 𝐠𝐚𝐦𝐞𝐬 ] #[ 💕 𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐚'𝐬 𝐟𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐧𝐝𝐬 ] #[ 💫𝐟𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐧𝐝: 𝐚𝐮𝐫𝐨𝐫𝐚 ]

[toastess-with-the-mostess]

Let's Rewind! Toast watches Voltron: Defender of The Universe (1984)

Season 1, Episode 43: Voltron Frees the Slaves Season 1, Episode 44: Voltron vs. Voltron

Episode 43: Voltron Frees the Slaves Do I recognize this episode name? I think so

Allura - tries to be positive, Hunk - immediately pessimistic Like I fully agree with hunk here don't get me wrong but cmon man enjoy the peace for a bit like Keith said

"Lotor you are my son, may I be forgiven, and some day you will be king, may the evil gods help the planet. I have a special assignment to see if you could prove worthy of the throne" LMAO ZARKON ISN'T EVEN HIDING HIS DISDAIN FOR HIS OWN SON ANYMORE, I LOVE HIM FOR THAT

Idk why zarkon keeps trusting Lotor with destroying Voltron, like dude do you not remember the last 42 episodes lmao

oh I don't recognize this episode, was I wrong? I kind of know the looks of these characters, weird also a girl died in front of her lover by missile strike and ofc that was censored, but it was a funny one because we get no context as to why the guy just starts sobbing

Have other planets been named after Zarkon after being taken over? Why is this one just now being called Zarkonia

DID HAGGARS CAT JUST PUSH A GUY OFF A CLIFF?? WILD

is Voltron a universe wide legend then? I know that's probably obvious by now, but it's still wild to hear, and believable honestly since our cultures share the same stories in the same ways

well these kids are stupid if they think they can take lotor hostage, like itll probably work because its dotu and everything goes in their favor but still

I definitely recognize this episode now, I just don't know the plot like I thought I did

"this is a man's work!" kill die maim I know that was them trying to be brave and then setting up the only girl there to fight them on it to help to show she's strong but ugh

aand immediately the plan gets fucked because haggar's cat spies on them, if one of those kids doesn't die ill be disappointed

even better they're used as hostages, though that's gonna go south for lotor real fast

im sorry no launch sequence for the team? i guess they were saving money this episode at least the team knows it's a trap and is prepared for it

animation error, the little girl's dress is the same blue as her brother's, but it goes back to an off-white when it zooms out

"That mighty robot will be desTROYED" Lotor has no patience for kids confirmed

"Voltron doesn't know the gravity of the situation, but I do!" Lotor stop using good puns to trick people into thinking actually funny, you may be a clown, but you sure aren't the kind that makes people laugh

DID THEY NUKE THE KIDS WHEN THE TEAM CAME BY? THAT IS SUCH A WILD TURN FROM "CHANGING GRAVITY TO SLOW DOWN VOLTRON FOR THE ROBEAST TO GET HIM" they're all alive though fucking somehow because everyone merged into this weird orb thing

nobody remembers a goddamn thing about how it happened

WHY IS PIDGE SUDDENLY THE SMART GUY NOW, WHAT DO YOU MEAN HE HAS A SCIENTIFIC EXPLANATION BRING ME BACK FERAL REGULAR SMART PIDGE

sorry hold on, were the kids trapped on a whole different planet? This is why we need context good god now that they're saved the team is going to actually free the real planet

this robeast just looks like a regular mech again, what happened to the monster designs I liked those a lot

was that dodge a jojo reference

voltron has been automatically calibrating their weapon fire this whole time?? I feel like the team should be rusty after that because it's been a while since they became a team

does voltron have a retractable mace as a weapon, what the actual fuck why don't we see these cool weapons more often

oh a classic scene, one strike from each opponent where one gets hurt but one truly loses of course voltron wins because he pulled out blazing sword

the fight scenes this time around for voltron v robeast was actually pretty cool, I was more invested in it than I thought I'd be

these kids wanna be part of the vf huh? Inch resting ideas are coming to me the planet name is Bravura by the by

/episode end

Episode 44: Voltron vs Voltron Now this one I know FOR SURE

i love when episodes open with zarkon complaining, he's such a mood

Haggar's cat is just a full-time nark isn't he

"I provided a glamorous touch by darkening the circles under his eyes!" Haggar turned Voltron emo by giving him black eyeliner

Pidge I know fighting in a giant robot is cool, but I don't think it's good to WANT to fight lotor every time you visit a new planet the implications are implicating

honestly I totally forgot they came to planet Yadyl already, but it's nice to see SOME consistency in the show for once

why is it always children who recognize something is wrong, like I get that nobody would see that the robeast this time is a voltron dupe but why is it only the kid who's like "hmmm why does voltron have an escort with him??"

i think my gif this time around will be of the kid weirdly digging in the sand to leave voltron an early warning LMAO

I know the team is forming voltron to go to yadyl and properly celebrate with them, but it's still wild to see that voltron comes out even when there's no emergency

this other kid KNOWS it should be the governor who's answering the transmission from voltron, did he assume that someone else answered for him or is lotors impression of the guy just THAT good

team - sees people staring at voltron in fear keith: no people- HEY THERE'S AN ARMED ROBOT, THE SOS WAS RIGHT, EYE BEAM AND THEN HE PROCEEDS TO BLOW UP THE ENTIRE TOWN WHEN THERE LITERALLY WERE CIVILIANS how is the team not getting more bad will from some other planets like how hard is it to have a planet go rogue on them for not thinking their actions through

lotor why are you running INTO THE EXPLODING TURRETS I'm on zarkon's side here, you should be dead dude

animation error, dupetrons leg went from blue to yellow after sand blew on it but then went back to blue in the next cut

the chest on dupetron just turned into the drule skull symbol, haggar really did make him goth LMAO

oh man this thing really is getting to voltron, we haven't seen the blazing sword formation get interrupted before

Keith how did you know the signals were getting picked up, i can't just feed into the belief that this man is some tactical genius without some SUBSTANCE

its just some dude in dupetron,, also which they'd say that beforehand so i wouldnt assume it's a robeast and when it's really an overly complicated mech

WHY DO THEY KEEP SAYING RED LION IS HUNK, LANCE PILOTS RED LION ASSHOLES KNOW YOUR GODDAMN BASICS MY GOODNESS also who knew that voltron could detach his arms and then the arms can act as their own units WHILE STILL BEING ABLE TO FORM BLAZING SWORD, insanity

i changed my mind i know what i want to be the cover gif for this episode sidnvois

/episode end

#voltron #voltron dotu #voltron defender of the universe #80s voltron #let's rewind! #toast talks #second episode brought to you by my cat chewing on my cables #hes such a fatass lmao

[faejilly]

so like five years ago or something, (ugh, time), I started an epistolary fic for @pameluke that I have not updated in, well, several years. (brains! little fuckers are very uncooperative, what can I say?)

It subsequently became the most popular thing I've ever written by several of AO3's potential metrics, which is neat! But... pressure-ish? Regardless, it would be nice to actually, uh. Finish the damn thing someday.

And in the interests of getting the voices in my head to engage with it so I can finish, I am attempting to adapt some public workskins on ao3 into email & texting screens and I will (hopefully) be updating said fic with fun formatting whenever I do actually finish & post the last couple chapters.

BUT!

I have a visual/clarity question re: texts and group chats

Behind the cut for a slew of terrible screenshots! (In various zoom levels, so uh, apologies if you have to click on them to see wtf I'm trying to ask)

perhaps followed by a poll since I apparently have them now?!?

This is roughly what texting looks like currently, (and will still pretty much look if you turn off AO3 workskins and/or download the fic in an ebook format):

Now, the reason it says "Cat" on top, is because that's the contact name in the header of the phone screen, which currently looks like this:

Now, in the original draft Cat didn't say "Magnus" there, because his name was there in the label so I didn't need it. BUT, this is the first phone screen in the fic, so I figured I should include it for clarity.

Contextually, as the fic continues, I assume one will generally be able to tell who is texting whom, but I could, (even tho it would not be as phone-like) put in names so it's clearer:

which is also how I've been managing group-text/chat formats:

But it looks kind of weird when it's just two people talking back and forth. (It's not like my phone puts my name over my own texts, yk?)

Not having all the names might be confusing, but I CANNOT TELL ANYMORE? aesthetic vs clarity? SOMETHINGSOEMTHING?

The only real downside to just putting the names in is that it causes some weird spacing in the download/non-skin version, because the name tags are no longer visible but there is, afaik, no way to fit them in properly without leaving the space for them, if that makes sense:

ALTERNATIVELY, I could change the headers so they're informational rather than a visual part of the phone screen, for example, the first text up there would be something like "Magnus' Phone (texting Cat)" and then the group chats would be, idk, "Alec's Phone, The Hedge" etc. etc.

OR ALTERNATIVELY ALTERNATIVELY... I could do... something else that I haven't thought up yet? I guess? *shrug.emoji*

HELP ME TUMBLR, YOU'RE MY ONLY HOPE:

*for the options with a star, please do include suggestions as to how to accomplish that nonsense, k? 😅

With like, actual baby-steps, because I do not know what I'm doing. I was literally just trying to copypasta a skin and then I couldn't stop.

Like, sometimes the nametag on the right of the phone screen doesn't work and I haven't figured out why yet. I am having a similar problem with the phone screen headers not resizing on different screens, which is why they're not a contrasting color or bordered or anything at the moment, so you can't tell.

/It's still wrong though, and I know it, even if I can't see it. It's like my phone screen is judging me every time I look at them... 🤣🤣🤣

but regardless. If you've made it to the end of this post, I thank you. And I'm sorry?

Have a cookie: 🍪

#jilly spam #technical support #on the stuff that isn't writing #ao3 & css & graphic design oh my? #all things I know less than nothing about #whoops #iamforyoufic

[lorelune]

loreeeee, i read the blade fic update and i CANT. express. how much i love your writing (again LOL). ugh, the way you write thoughts, mentalities, how ppl navigate and take in info...insane. INSANE. ugh,,,,,,im sorry but having adrenaline "tumble between the eyes" or the weird sureness of his thoughts but still being unidentifiable (unintelligible? or there little understanding of the source of specific thoughts) in and of themselves...the way you write makes me FERAL. im savoring it so much, i just bit into the juiciest orange, the ripest strawberry, took a mouthful of the crispest apple cider ive ever tasted in my life--(sorry im low on sugar rn HAHA)

i have a lot to say. but not enough mental space to go through all of it...but i do want to mention how you wrote the retrospective scenes of blade being washed by kafka, it was captured so well. i know this kind of experience is very nuanced, and i think you expressed how blade processed it well. especially how this shows up in pieces thereafter in the rest of the fic, it's different from just mentioning or referring to a past moment. you threaded the experience to the present and from reading your works overall, i believe this is a "trademark" of your writing, at least to me.

the trademark is that there is purpose in every mention, there is delicacy in choosing a perspective and the lens in which the world is viewed or something is experienced by a character...there is a specific atmosphere, headspace, etc., that you want to convey and the entire thing is brought together with every sentence that follows the previous. youre making these connections, however small they may be, between shards of the characters' lives...it feels like you properly chewed them so you got the texture, flavor profile, salinity, etc., of those characters. it's what got me hooked onto you works, and im afraid (feral, positive) youre only getting better at it. im in trouble (eager) :D

this is small, but i personally love seeing purely from one chara's pov, i love unreliable narrator-esque stuff, it just tickles something in me, maybe bc life is THAT subjective to the one living it (also AP Lit was one of my fav classes back in hs, so is it rlly a surprise LMAO). i love connotations, questionable morals, existential dilemmas, all of it. and seeing that blade is full of the latter two, im SO up for it. i also love how he's constantly (unconsciously) trying to be mindful of the space he takes up, even if he chooses to not care for certain (most) ppl. idk, to me thats a testament to his previous life/experience, and it just adds lore (see what i did there :3) and depth to everything. and im so looking forward to see how he navigates and learns (pog self reflection!) about his violent urges/tendencies, and what they mean for him (and mc)--and even if he doesn't i am looking forward to your writing 🙏

this is not even 1/4 of what i wanted to say LMFAOO, but its 1am for me and i need some sleep...thank you for this lore. :) we are blessed to have you share your talent, its my spiders thread in the hellscape im in (life), love you always, stay healthy and happy lunar new yr if you celebrate!!

SLEEEPY 🥺!! thank you for the kind words!!!!! 🥺💕💕💕!!!!! i am screaming crying throwing UP i appreciate your feedback so so much!!!!!

rambling under the cut <3

writing blade for the architect has been both like.... deeply cathartic and so very different from any character i have written for!!! i don't write a ton in character POV, however blade's feels unique and interesting in a way that keeps me going back to him. the dynamic between blade and reader is so interesting to continue to revisit, and writing their relationship expand and change has been very fun!!

blade is truly monstrous, but not for any of the reasons he thinks. his monstrous is monstrous in the way that he shouldn't exist or be alive, and that he essentially a human weapon, but how he feels isn't monstrous. he's coping. poorly. and through centuries of compounded trauma and an accumulation of mara. he absolutely sees some of himself in reader and can't help but want to ... protect them? if nothing else be near them. it's horrific, the way he thinks, but not monstrous. and i think that's an important distinction in the architect!!!

blade is an incredibly unreliable narrator. it is integral to the story (moreso as we go on) that he is unreliable. his own confusion is woven into the plot and vital to his relationship with the reader. his feelings towards you are a tangled mess, and so much of that comes from his own fractured consciousness.

its been very fun to write and dive into it just like... explore. full send. i started the architect originally as a drabble that was supposed to be uneditted LOL and i didn't want to pull any punches with the implications and like... 'darkness' of the story. i'm glad that you have enjoyed it sleepy and THANK YOU for your comments and elaborations, they truly make my day and get me hype to continue the story too <33 thank you thank you thank you 💞💞💞

#lore answers #sleepy anon #SLEEEEPY #U R SO KIND #i ramble a bunch below the cut but sldakjfa #bouncing off of your thoughts. you see the vision. i appreciate you expressing that u do!!! #be well sleepy <33

[almalvo]

STAR TREK: DISCOVERY | S1E10 "Despite Yourself"

[I will react to each episode individually and in full, raw reception and then post as is unrevised here onto my tumblr for the full span of every and all NuTrek episodes and series that have been and will be released. If this falls under your field of interest - I welcome your company in joining me. Enjoy the ride.] -------

wow first time the android dint have a bass sfx XD saru's tendrils - oml when he covers them is kinda cute i like owosekun's hairrr vulcans with weapons powered? bruh r we in mirrorverse we're in mirrorverse. 100%. yup. it was obvious from the end of last episode esp with 2 DISCOs showing mhmm. yeah these cuts need improvement still but alright bring it DISCOs turn for mirrorverse antics. lets go. haha this ep writen by someone named "sean cochran". zefram? jkjk tribble backk so cute give me one i wonder what its name is

ok this spinning scene of lorca and burnham and saru talking is spinning way to fast for too long how long are we going to keep spinning. its actually making me busy and hte cuts are not consistent in momentum so it didnt feel seamless it sholdve been takien in one shot and the camera needed to stop WAY sooner. thats how you wouldve actually shot a scene of that type. but "idk" ig, im just a mortal 😭 OK STAMETS. NOT ME SENDING PEOPLE 10 METRES AWAY FROM A TAP OF A FINGER sylvia saying "oh my god" then resuming like nothing happened was such a fast tone change i see those piercing marks on doc's ears. i always get this thoght of, whenever i see that on someone, im like BRUH PUT THEM BACK IN some of these camera ratios, rule of thirds, etc., are like. not done great? idk the eye is not reading the shot how it should a lot cuz the entity is not in an advantageous spot onscreen. tyler is going THROUGH it. damn. i think tyler's actor does well with representing traumatic fear oh interesting. i love these tactile sounds like the sound of the device tyler is wearing on his hand to control the ship's arm i like lorca's rbf XD

shit. poor tyler. thats never ok. her violating u like that. ugh. this makes me uncomfortable oh interesting. oo his klingon inflections are so good oh shit this is a weird scene its such a MIX of implications i like the acting i it actually it felt actually kind of complex, though the idea is simple nice this was actually decently shot. i like the way tyler's hair sits on his head haha looks nice nice swoops man these inconsistent camera transitions (one pose in the last cut, but a diff pose in the other) tylers acting doing p well actually his emotional expression is p decent yeah good ash x burnham is still an f no for me feels so empty it prob always will to me oo the gore effects of the cuts on hishand from the broken glass look relaly good faceless emperor. im so curious who.

"mirror disco". yess. ooo what do their mirrorverse selves look like SYLVIA. oml oh my god oml this is coo,ll oml SYLVIA LETS GO BEAT HER ASS. NOOOOO WHAT THE HECK HECK HELL HOLD YOUR HORSES?? WHAT THE CRINGEEEE oml please sylvia pull through lorca coaching her lmao WHAT THE FUCKGKKHKH O9H NMY GODDDDDD CHIEF ENGINNEERRRRR AND LORCA DOES A PASSASBLE SCOTTS ACCENRTTTTT????@?!??! YOURE FUKCING KIDDDIDNGGGG GET THE FUCK OUT OH MY GODDDDDDD/???? LORCA I MIGHT LIKE YOU MORE OML H GHGJAIHO THIS PREMONITION FUC KKKKKKKK lorca has a type of voice that sounds nicer when its quieter if that makes sense? it almost sounds strange when he yells? idk maybe its just me or maybe thats the way audio was edited oml the way saru was saying "well thats not very clever" was so emotive its beautiful oml their uniforms are oml so cool man the mirror badge man ill say not to be a shit but i love to always see this TOS/star trek root-type episodes where they reminisce on such a classic trope from og trek - but at the same time, i wihsh trek didn tdo it so much to just solely rely on TOS to make its relevance stronger, no matter how sensible that seems? while star wars feels preety big and expansive and busy with a lot of overlapping lore star trek is literally just "TOS, the expanded version" it feels so small. in that, nigh everyhing will forever and always just be/because of TOS. and i love tos. dont get me wrong, its my all time favourite forever. but trek i feel like never can develop significantly newer stuff? OH MY GOD USS DEFIANTTTT LOOK AT HERRR god i cant wait to see this ship design.. but yeah idk if people understand what i mean. that something so ideologically massive as trek is so small as a creative work in its "relevant lore". sure tng has its things, so does ds9, voy, ent - but it all comes back to tos. which is a double edge sword. a good thing. but also a bad thing. for if it were without tos, then much of trek doesnt really hit like that. yes be great hubby hugh love your mans ?? oh for a second i was like his eyes oh wow seeing sylvia with sstraight hair oh wow it compliments her head and face shape ngl she looks great in the armour. they all do ooh lorca in a leather jacket and black t shirt? okok works on him oooo sylvia lets GO GET IT YES KILL IT BRUH DO IT DO IT oo this dark lipstick works great on burnham oo i wonder when we will see sylvia really a captain

wtf. lorca for real? yo ujust did that to yourself? for blood? bruh we couldve done make up also yes of course, big runny red line down side of face. oooooooooooooooo MEAN BURNHAM lorca is an oddly good prisoner. hmMmmMM damn yall sass. ugh i really really really want more trek games. is he not human. is tyler not humnan. is tyler not originaly human. SO TYLERS A FUCKING KLINGON? i love his look of dejection hes relaly good at it. dude. hes a fucking klingon UH UHHHHH UHHHHHHHHHHHH??????????? DID YOU JUST FUCKING KILL HUGHHH??????? WHAT THE FUCK????? WAIT GAY COUPLE IS GONE DEAD NOW ITS OVER??/ WHAT I THOUGHT I THOUGHT STAMETS AND HUGH LAST LONGER? WHAT THE FUCKING FUCK? IM SO CONFUSED?? WHAT THE FUCK? WHY DID HUGH HAVE TO DIE ESP LIKE THAT? WHAT THE FUCK. what the actual fuck. its always the poc who dies. fuck you. idk. if he rly died or what. but fuck you. and trek still in the closet fuck this internalised homophobia. its been 6 FUCKING DECADES. GET OVER YOURSELF. KIRK AND SPOCK FUCKING EXIST. JUST COME OUTTA YOUR RAINBOW DOORS & BE DONE WITH IT. FUCK. (and no im not condoning invasion of privacy of one's sexual/gender orientation at all. i just mean if you said your gay. then own it. cuz trek has said it. its called seasons 1-3 of TOS, TAS, ST I-VI, AOS I-III. so own it. fuck.)

burnham does this role relaly well in a way she fits THIS mirror burnham more than her default. also damn lorca hahaha what i say, he gets kicked around a lot but its intersting that hes cap in this kind of role damn burnham you angery. i like this gold foil look on their armour. oo get him burnham get him get him decent choreo ooo ok ok yeah decent choreo oh yeah oooo nice i love this blade design oh shit burnham sonequa did well in her reaction to stabbing him. u can read the shock aand regret in her eyes forget klingons mirorverse starfleet is literally death. bat'leth? more like batshit. also this bridge oo whoa her bridge is on the bottom of her ship ooooo her warping oooo captain burnham but not how i thoughbt itd happen i feel like sonequa is better in this its crazy i feel like her as mirror self is better?

yes those HIGH boots sharp black and gold ugh. i love love LOVE the art department behind DISCO. hmm i feel like i see definite glimpses and glimmers of really quality stuff and quality delivery in this show but htey are very sporadic. spaced apart y inconsistencies and discrepancies. i think this sho wcouldve been much better ash and burnham - im sorry but who actaully, ACTUALY cares about them together. snoreeee s n o r e e e e e e um. lorca. is actually getting tortured. dude whta did i TELL yall. hes literally the one who gets pissed on fr fr 😭 damn. seeing lorca screaming. damn. id be surprised. but then again. he gets bashed all the time so. eh. ngl i feel like lorca gon die. but i wonder how.

damn.

#star trek #star trek discovery #discovery #DISCO #nutrek #thoughts #text #reaction #almalvo

[walking-fnaf-encyclopedia]

That's so real- our fictives tend to influence that stuff for me too, like my danganronpa AU having influences from my Junko and Makoto (villain and hero of danganronpa) headmates, but I think Sophie (from The Walten Files which is what TWF is) is the only one who's rlly made an AU of her own.

In my swap AU, basically, the order and circumstances surrounding each death are switched, and the killer is... kind of different as well. My current thought process is that William murdered Sammy- he hadn't intended to kill him, but he more or less beat him until he died from a traumatic injury- but he didn't kill any of the other kids. Instead, Henry, desperate to bring his son back, killed all the missing children. Elizabeth was still killed by Baby, but this incident was caused by the well meaning but unaware older brother Cassidy (crying child) leaving her alone in just the wrong moment and panicking and protecting himself instead of her. He later gets springlocked in Spring Bonnie. Spring Bonnie and Fredbear were actually from a totally different sister location. Michael was kind of an. extra murder on top of everything else just to take everything away from William but idk who he'd possess. Puppet maybe? Its weird creepy design feels up his alley.

The band in this AU is fronted by Baby. Freddy is a more or less scrapped character barely used for shows if at all, and as such, Susie is stuck in the back most of the time. Chica, Bonnie and Foxy make up the rest of the band, and Gabriel takes over Chica where Jeremy is Foxy and Fritz is Bonnie.)

All of this.. disaster leaves Charlie alive, and Charlie was actually childhood friends with several of those kids, including Elizabeth. She has genuinely no idea what happened to all of her friends, and has carried that with her, hoping that one day she might be able to track down Elizabeth and figure out if she's actually still alive. Which she is not, and Baby, angry at Charlie for her father's actions, really.. rubs this in. On the other hand, Cassidy is being manipulated with his own fear into being on Henry's side.

This is one of my less developed AUs (my two main aus have a RIDICULOUS amount of lore) but here it is :D

ohhhh the walten files. ive never seen it shortened to that and havent watched anything related to it in a while so i didnt pick up on it lol

ohhh william killing sammy and then henry killing everyone else - thats good, love that!!

CASSIDY CRYING CHILD CASSIDY CRYING CHILD (<-has a cassidy crying child fictive)

the puppet being possessed by a character thats so drastly different from the original puppet is fascinating! and mike as a murdered has me curious 👀

poor susie, but baby getting to be the face of the band is cute! does her design - or the others’ designs - change to make them mesh better with each other? shed look kinda out of place with the og’s, hell even with the toys.

charlie being alive, and seemingly taking a similar role to og mike is neat!! and cassidy being manipulated UGH i love casskdy crying child it feels very. underexplored?? i feel like i never see it. i love evan crying child and his bestie cassidy but you can pry lonely cassidy crying child who blames their dad for their death more than they do michael out of my cold dead hands

LOVE this au!!! thanks for sharing!!! if there are any yall want to talk about in detail - or any of my aus you want to ask about in detail - go ahead! sorry that this answer took longer, lol

also HAPPY FNAF MOVIE BIRTHDAY!!!! hope you guys get to go see it if you want!!!

#x #x chatter #x answers #cici sitting in the front w me cause i keep talking aboutt xir lol #oopss #nnot talking much tho jusst here -cici #we shouldd get emojjis hmm -cici #oops. rammbling #cici

[morns-fevered-dream]

It's times for the season finale of SNW and my last live blogging until the next season of Lower Decks and then DIS season 5 both of which I'm excited about oh and SPOILERS

Season 2 Episode 10

First off it's called "Hegemony" which is definitely going to be in reference to the Gorn Hegemony and if you've seen my reactions to season 1 treatment of the Gorn I'm not excited about this episode

Based on small town Midwest?!??! Seriously that sounds like literally hell (I'm from the Midwest)

Lmaoooo I saw a tiktok talking about a huge fake town in Canada near Toronto with fake Bar And Grill, Barber show and a diner and this is the same fake town

I've got a weird feeling based on the camera angle the town about to explode during talk between Pike and Captain Batel I'm calling it

Well it seems I might be right but I thought it'd happen while Pike was talking to the good captain like their'd be a explosion right behind her mid sentence but I'll take it

Listen to April you don't understand the Gorn this message of "what you don't understand" was the whole point of "Arena" they obviously won't go back on this and April will be right be the end of the episode right? Right?!

Unrelated but April might be my favorite character in this series from this thing with the Gorn and in S2 E2 about eugenics this April is based AF

Just listen to April

Ok they've drawn a line in the sand stay on your side then ez

The map looks crude probably because the Gorn in this series are "dumb" uggh

"I'd like to study how to kill them" feels like a line straight from edgy 2000s show and "I'd like to join in that study" wow feels like this show be set to Evenescence or something

Did they change Pike hair from scene to scene? All I can imagine is Pike stopping to mission to change his hair

Considering we know Chapel alive due to her appearance in later Trek it seems a bit silly to have scenes dedicated to "will it or won't it" as they say

Still sticking with the dumb animal like Gorn I see ugh

Having La'an be there to shut down even the idea that you can communicate with the Gorn every time it's brought up is extremely annoying considering we all know they can from "Arena"

Like Discovery changed how the Klingons looked and people lost their shit but they still acted like Klingons

Oh a new Scotty first impressions I'm neutral 😐

The Dinner mentioned in the tiktok I knew it had to appear sometime

They communicate through light? Seriously? We heard them talk with words

Like a "swarm" Voyager already had a swarm episode

Hold up their about to fling saucer section at the big green Gorn thing but if Chapel lived probably a few others too considering how big the ship is

Well they said humans haven't yet seen a adult Gorn before is out the window I'm pretty sure the showrunner say we wouldn't see a adult Gorn

Oh and I don't like the Gorn design to cgi heavy

The Gorn kinda looks like those aliens from the halo games

I looked it up the Elites from Halo

Discovery made Klingons purple and people complained constantly but I imagine SNW won't share the fate

The Gorn was wearing all metal armor I think or maybe that just their skin now idk

Damn anybody else on that saucer dead

I kind of like that both groups were working on a solution even if only one was necessary

And it ends on a cliffhanger

Well I'm still not a fan of this show whole thing with the Gorn but it wasn't as bad as S2 E2 and the whole pro eugenics thing so there's that and the season as a whole was mixed S2 E9 and S2 E7 were very fun but episodes like S2 E8 and S2 E5 were really cheesy

Note: I was wrong before anyone corrects me the adult Gorn wasn't cgi but practical affects to be fair to me it looks a lot like really ugly cgi in my opinion

#strange new worlds #star trek #snw spoilers #star trek strange new worlds #snw #snw s2 e10 #snw finale

[resistanceisfeudal]

Episode 9: Hide and Seek

This ep did surprise me with its choices while also feeling very planned and I can appreciate that.

Bet you're really wishing you'd chosen something normal for this date now, rios. Maybe a movie or dinner or something...

Ooh I see what they're doing. Parallels with the childhood flashbacks. Nice.

Yeah none of you have a chance here. Borgs gonna borg

Oh yeah I keep forgetting that this version of the BQ was actually defeated and captured

OK this is corny but WOO LET'S GO ELNOOORRRR LET'S GET READY READY LET'S GET READY TO ROMULAN

I am still unimpressed by this child actor and I feel kind of mean for it

Raffi, Cris and JL unarmed and suffering in this fight lol

Oh wait this?? What??? Is rios going to end up trapped involuntarily?????

Soong turns up and everyone has a collective "ugh this guy" reaction. Even the ones who don't know him

Raffi and seven finding themselves in a stealth level of a platform game

What if we throat stabbed your trauma together? Just you and me

Tallinn is like, now is the time for some therapy

I know it was sort of implied before but I appreciate the confirmation that JANEWAY went to bat for seven because there's no way that EVERYONE on Voyager didn't vouch for her

So, I've just started S2 of Russian Doll and both these shows have this theme of having a mother with mental health troubles that ended up really negatively affecting the protagonist's life and yeah they're very different takes on it but wow. This is so heavy

Idk maybe tell people your plan seven. Idk it seems like a good idea

Ooh right OK wall borg

So, the effects look bad to me sorry. And the callous way they're just like "Oh, those 21st century humans are all dead now whatever" is weird butttttt........ it is on brand for seven to do something so blunt with these guys I'll say that

Agnes is like "my superpower is depression"

"Finally, the semblance of a point."

Agnes sees the borg and is like "I can change him"

But also... OK so is this a revision of the anti communist vibes of the OG borg??? An attempt to show the pros of collectivism??? I don't know but I'm going to interpret it as that. Especially as soong is like tech bro silicon capitalism personified

RIOS OHHH

Damn. This jl is all too heavy and dark for me to do a running commentary on it right now. Fuck

Raffi recognising the time and place for a pep talk

Right so two Renées. I assume the meaning is that there needs to be two timelines? One with Agnes bq and then the normal one?

I can see how this could come together. Overall the series has faltered considerably but I'm still game for the finale. Let's goooo

#episode reaction #spoilers #tonic's unwanted star trek opinions #star trek picard #star trek: picard

[waglifeornolife]

https://www.tumblr.com/waglifeornolife/735949019656978432/ugh-im-so-fucking-pissed-rn-highschool

Sorry that it is long <33

Okay so I thought I’d further justify my reasoning for trying to like get her back even further because I’ve done all my school work and I’m bored now. A bit of backstory(her and her boo are childhood friends and like they first went out for like a day in year seven and she has used this as the reason for most of the things she did with him and for him?

Okay let’s start off with the first crack in the glass all the way back in 2020.

I told her I had a crush on one of our guy friends and we would always discuss that and stuff. Long story short they went out until like nov/dec 2021. But I let it slide because I kinda just wanted to get through life at that point in time and also both him and her were my good friends back then.

Okay then let’s fast forward to like September 2021(IK timeline is a bit weird but they broke up quite a bit) and people were coming up to her asking if she liked this other boy who was like one of the “popular girls” boyfriend and she went no. SHE COULD HAVE LEFT IT AT “NO” but noooo she had to say liked someone else🙄🙄 who was also a “popular person” like wow well done. Also she’s like always been an attention whore. For example during all of this, she would always lock herself in the school toilet and fake cry and say she was cutting herself(the reason why I knew she was faking everything is because we all shared a pe changing room and like I’d like look over the bathroom stall to make sure she was okay and she would be fake sniffling). Like shes such an attention seeker ugh.

Anyways so let’s talk a bit about her boo.

They’ve known each other forever but like everyone and their mother would tell you that he is the worst creature to ever successfully sneak their way onto planet earth. And he is/was/is an awful person like he always slut shames people (including her) and like he’s been a bully like he bullied me but like I have too much on him now so he has to keep his mouth shut. And he made like a snap private story where he would always put a story after he’d masturbated and the private story only had girls on it. Um Yh hes like an awful person to other people as well but I could be here all day discussing him.

So back to her.

Let’s fast forward to middle/end of of 2022 she gets a crush on this girl in our school and they start chatting as friends. Turns out every secret she told that girl, she would tell the guy(okay I’m gonna give people code names now,the girl that I want to exposes code name is Benny,the girl she had a crush on is snake and lets call Benny’s boo boat) So Benny would tex snake but boat was tryna go out with snake and Benny at the same time so sane would tell boat what Benny said but boat and Benny were kinda texting flirting anyway.

So we all found out about what boat was doing so him and Benny didn’t text for a bit until like January this year (omg this is where it just started getting worse I still don’t know why she got with him or why so much fucking happened). So they started texting a lot more and we were all advising against it but she would always say “don’t you want me to be happy🥺” 🙄. So we just let it be(because they were a situationship and to be fair I kind of didn’t want to be friends with her at this point either because she’d already done soooooooo much in the past 3years I just couldn’t handle anymore). So in like July they met up at the park a few times and she gave him a handjob once or whatever and um idk what happened after that but her whole persona changed (you see ONE sock and you think you’re the fucking shit🙄) and she started acting exactly like him. She was taking cheap shots at everyone and she would tell us not to judge her for doing things and saying things but she would judge me and the rest of our friend group forgetting excited over things we were happy about (like Taylor swift or like getting grades or going out in a friend group) (OMG I FORGOT TO MENTION ON VALENTINES DAY WE WERE ALL SUPPOSED TO GO OUT TO DINNER TOGETHER AND WE BOOKED IT MONTHS IN ADVANCE AT THIS FANCY ASS PLACE AND SHE CANCELLED TO GO OUT WITH BOAT TO THE PAR FOR THIRTY MINUTES LIKE WHAT??). Anyways, like I was saying she completely changed and she didn’t really care about school and stuff anymore. And like her and boat when to the park again and she sucked him off this time (thing is she has this like whole thing where she makes it a big deal where she doesn’t want to do anything before marriage and she basically slutshamed people for doing things like that until she started doing them) but like after she sucked him off he was acting really weird like he was either acting super desperate over text or like constantly reminding her they weren’t actually together(he even said if she went to speak with him in school he’d laugh in her face) so I told her to stop seeing(for the billionth time) and to just swear off boys until exams are over but she just super angry at me and started yelling at me saying how I would never understand what they have and how it’s like (like I can’t understand a toxic situationship). And like she did end up “breaking up with him” but I new she was lying and she was because she told me they’d been texting that whole day and that she can’t let him go and that she loves him (I seriously wanted to laugh). But like I was vomiting and stuff one day so I couldn’t come in and I see a text in the gc telling Benny to “be safe later” and I was asking why she had to “be safe” and she said she was meeting boat at the park. And I had had enough at that point so I didn’t say anything until her boo was like sending rude things in the gc directed towards me and was saying Offenes or shit. So I confronted her about and she said “he didn’t know it would hurt you” and bullshit like that. She even confessed to writing some of the things. So I stopped being friends with her at that point but still had to hang out with her because my friends are(were now) her friends(they opened their eyes).

So she broke up with him (fr this time but I still call him her boo because she was just soo persistent on keeping him). But I found out like a few weeks ago that boat was actually texting another girl at the time that Benny and him were together but when I told her she already and was telling POPULAR GIRLS IN OUR YEAR EVERYTHING SHE WENT THROUGH BUT WITH LEAVING OUT DETAILS ABOUT HOW MUCJ HER EX FRIENDS WARNED HER TO NOT GO. Omg she had the never to come up to me to tell me that they told her the exact same things I told her and she listened to them. So like my friends (the ones that were neutral through this whole thing) were like discussing it too and we’re also like “Yh this is a bit rude” because they warned her too and she’s acting like they didn’t.

Extra reasons:

1)she’s a privileged little bitch who is super rude to her mother

2)she talks shit about everyone and has parasocial relationships with them and acts like she knows them

3) she literally said billions of times that she’s not straight but now she all of a sudden she is (because boys don’t really find it desirable if a girl is anymore) she also says that the girl she like is an exception and she only has wet dreams and fantasies about her and other girls but god forbid she ever got near one

3) whenever I’d try and bring up a serious matter that’s like happening in the world she would tell me that not everything is about race/politics

4)she gets “boycott fatigue” (I think that explains itself)

5)she always gossips like there will be no consequences

6)she’s a manipulative bitch

7)she’s super condescending

8)when she first gave head,she tried to pressure everyone else in our group to but nine of did. She knew I had this crush in some guy so when she got the chance she got someone to start spreading rumours around about that

9)she hates when people have friends that are outside the friend group that she doesn’t know

10) she’s made me lose loads of friends by playing victim in every scenario

11) she printed out a fake marriage certificate and tried to get our friend who’s a boy to sign it and she got pissed when he didn’t

12) she hyper sexualises boys in our year group and says all crazy things

13) she rats out people’s secrets for a little bit of popularity and attention

14)she openly makes fun of people for what they eat and wear

15)she’s just not the type of person people should have to deal with

babe, she sounds to toxic!! the ex too, i kinda feel bad for her when it comes to that but my god, i’m so glad you aren’t friends with her any more! it sounds to me that whatever you say to people, she’s gonna twist it and play the victim, so maybe confront her about everything you’ve told me first, make sure your friends are aware of what you’re doing and make sure they’re there, so that they can back you up, but make sure that the girl is on her own when you talk to her so that she doesn’t have an alibi to back up whatever she’d twist it into.

the girl sounds like a right bully, i had a girl similar at my school growing up, she was so nasty to everyone until a few of us eventually stuck up for ourselves and she realised that the person she’s trying to be isn’t a person that people like. bitchiness like that has no age limit so stamping it out now will be the best thing you can do 🫶🏼

[xangareplaced]

Friday, December 9, 2022

I just wanted to jot down some feelings that I’ve been having as of late LOL. I call this phase - the kilig files.

Sooooo, I’ve switched jobs but in the same hospital. And so I have new workmates and teams that I work with. There’s this one social worker in particular that I’ve grown an affinity to? Is that even the right terminology? So anyways a little bit of backstory, we’ve met maybe once before and I’ve maybe seen her around the hospital and I knew from the start that she was pretty cute and good looking. Now when I took on this new role and joined our team, I didn’t really think anything of it. I was like “Cool, she’s a pretty lady who I just so happen to be working with. And she gets shit DONE.” My first impression of her was like “oh I don’t wanna fck up and make her mad” but then as we started collaborating more with different patients I was like oh sweet she just has a really good work ethic and gets shit done. But something changed inside of me. Maybe like 1 week ago or something, I started to have a crush. And not just like oh I find you attractive, but like oh I’m kind of really into you. Maybe it’s the way she looks at me or the way she makes me feel when I’m around her but hot damn I haven’t felt like this or these kind of butterflies since high school. That’s well over 10 years ago. I honestly don’t know what’s come over me to feel this way towards her. Also I’ve never had this feeling towards a coworker before so it’s just so unnerving and also kind of even more attractive because I can make excuses to see her more often during the day.

There are times when she’s like “are you gonna come see me (to her office)?” Or like “are you gonna have lunch with me?” AND MAYBE IM OVERLOOKING THIS OR JUST FUCKING CRAZY but I stg she gives me butterflies. Maybe like a few days ago she started saying shit in the office like “ugh you’re distracting meeee” but in a playful kind of way. Like GIRL. Are you being friendly, or friendly?? Lol I’m such a fucking flirt tho and sucker for that typa shit. And also the other day we went to another persons office to grab some cookies and we were just chatting it up about stupid work shit. Then she puts her stuff down and makes this cute little dance moving her hips and shuffling back & forth talking about boundaries. It was the cutest fucking thing in the world. And she did it not once, not twice but three times. The last time she did it was when it was just me and her in her office. I couldn’t help myself while looking at her. So glad that we are still required to wear masks in the hospital or else I’m pretty sure she would’ve noticed the way I was looking her up and down. From her tiny nose piercing, to her petite yet plump lil booty. And ugh I could go on and on about her smile and the way she giggles. It’s the cutest fucking thing.

I had a weird day yesterday though, it almost felt like she was onto me and knew about my kilig-ness towards her. I honestly have no idea if she’s straight or not. One of my other coworkers had mentioned she had a bf. And in a conversation we had together in her office, she had told me she moved from the East Coast to here because of a long term relationship but said she would leave that story for another time. I wanna know, but I don’t wanna know at the same time. But today was a turnaround and I was able to enjoy her company a bit more. She didn’t reject my hug today like she did yesterday. But also idk if she felt obligated since I’m going to Cali for a week and won’t see/speak to her. I’m sure there’s much more to this story than I’ve said so far, but I’m trying to keep my kilig files under wraps. Trying not to get too ahead of myself and have my feelings hurt. I wanna ride this wave out. And hey, if it turns out that she is being flirty friendly and not just friendly friendly, then it could possibly become a thing. She’s actually switching to another social worker role in the hospital so I’ll still see her around but we won’t be working directly with one another so no conflict of interest or ethics issues. But like I said, I don’t wanna get ahead of myself. I wanna just ride this wave because I think it’s the first time I’ve had a spark and really have 1) loved wanting to come to work/had motivation to go to work and 2) felt butterflies like this in a LOOOOONG time. Alright, I think I’ll stop there for now. Cheers to the happy vibes and happy thoughts before going on vacation. Until next time, Xanga/Tumblr ❤️

[beautifullychaoticworld-blog]

My parents wanted me to get into the best language high school in town (we call it the English school)... where only the smartest get into (if they get very high grades on their exams after secondary school and in their report cards during the years...). However now I’m a bit hesitant about them being that smart... I bet their parents had connections with other teachers or their parents work as teachers or they just got in there with money lmao...

However, I got accepted into another language high school (the Russian school) instead which is just as good as that one because they were both part of an elite group of language schools and it had a reputation for the strictest school and smartest kids get into it too... so idk what the whole drama about that was tbh... or what the whole difference is...  they are actually competitor schools.

Looking back on that, I find it so weird how in my country people place a greater importance on what kind of high school you’re gonna get into instead of what kind of university but it is like this here... 

I’m still pretty traumatized from that exam session after secondary school tbh and I’m also traumatized from the secondary school I went to and my class and teachers (my classmates were straight A bullies and the teachers had favorites who they’d grade higher than other pupils... as if they are teacher’s pets). 

But otherwise I most enjoyed my time in that high school (yes, that Russian school) which is so weird... not saying that uni couldn’t measure up but having to work and study really sucked ass tbh... only the first year was enjoyable... also being away from home and family, studying abroad, being in a racist country, etc. I know a lot of people say university was the best time of their lives but everyone’s experience is different... I found student life to be very demanding and stressful... plus being expected to balance part time work with studies really sucked. Also I was so poor... barely making ends meet and nearly became homeless. IDK why people say this is the best time of your life... while you are a poor student at uni... working dead end part times jobs... being away from home and family... looking for flats to rent and live with annoying people... just don’t get it... I feel like it’s because of the generation and era I was born into... perhaps if I was a student in the 90s or early 2000s would’ve been a whole different experience...

When I read that confession about Rory going to Yale instead I thought about my own weird experiences with the educational system, changing schools, going to uni... how much I studied my ass off to get into a good high school ugh... (getting into university with what I wanted to study was a bit easier in my experience... maybe because I did my bachelor’s degree in the UK instead as a foreign student). I had decided that I wanted to do my degree in the UK since I was 16 hahah... don’t blame me for the choices I made while I was a teenager without any real life experience yet... also there was a lot of pressure to choose something immediately after high school... 

Also Rory picked something similar to what I wanted to study (Journalism and I wanted to do that at first but then went into PR and Media because ugh... more modern profession with more jobs than being a journalist...) Found that TV series to be relatable in some ways... 

#gilmore girls #getting into a good school #looking back #university #student #school #high school

[lightningflashepiphany]

Idk what is happening in my brain. My thoughts are a bit depressed. I’m finding it hard to enjoy my days right now. I think I may just be coming off the high from the wedding and honeymoon and it’s got me feeling a little low. Like I don’t like my job and the time change is wrecking my life. It’s dark so fast and I wind up feeling weird by 9pm. I’ve had this problem many times actually. I don’t know what to do after 9pm. I sometimes find myself just sitting there. I did meditation the other day and that was fun. I just tried to write I feel like I don’t have the time to enjoy my day and I tried mentally repressing it by saying to myself to stop complaining. Why should I stop complaining? If that’s how I feel then that’s how I feel. I do feel like complaining too much is going to be bad for me mentally though. Like it’ll keep making me feel more and more depressed so I have to stop and think about all the good things I get to do throughout the day. How I don’t hate my job. I don’t think I hate my job, I just don’t look forward to doing it. Since I don’t look forward to doing it I’m polarizing it by saying I hate it. Then My nighttime routine feels so routine right now, but tonight I’m shaking it up and I’m just thinking it’s going to speed everything up until I work again tomorrow. I also have to work this Saturday and that’s adding stress to my already worn out mind from everything else. It feels like time is passing so quickly and I’m having trouble latching onto it. I don’t have the energy to really push through and find my peace. I feel like I lack motivation to do what I really want to do right now too, which is have a blast. I’m still readjusting from the three weeks off and the crazy high I had then. I’m coming back down to normal and everything just feels so lame. I want to keep up with the meditation and the zen but it’s hard. I can even feel some old symptoms coming back of feeling just generally miserable and then that makes me have some self harm intrusive thinking. This morning I woke up not feeling great and then it just kind of crept in, “am I going to kill myself.” Which makes me feel a little shitty just even having that thought because fuck that thought ya know? Ugh, im just struggling right now. I don’t feel very inspired. I tried to tell myself I’d have a good day today but then my next thoughts were if I say that I’ll have a bad day and then it was well I still have to work three more days and only get a day off so there’s no point in having a good day today because this week is going to suck because my job sucks. This spirals into me just feeling like my life sucks, even though I know better. My life is pretty great right now all things considered. I’ve also been having trouble figuring out what to do about this whole metal band situation. I feel pretty pressured to do it. I don’t think I have the energy or time to do it, but I want to do it. I don’t feel like my band member wants to do it either which sucks.