#this sucks i cant do cat behavior man

[toadstool32]

its the sextuplets birthday! in celebration im ranking them based on personal preference <3

karamatsu < i like him

osomatsu < i like shitty older brothers when theyre not my own

jyuushimatsu < i dont even think he knows how baseball works

todomatsu < hes such a bitch i love him

ichimatsu < cat

choromatsu < at his best when insane

the nature making numbered list make it so that they all have a rank but if anything it would be like > 1 karamatsu >2 osomatsu / jyuushimatsu >4 todomatsu / ichimatsu > 6 choromatsu

now im gonna proceed to rank them as combinations <- insane behavior

i got the names from this list!

im mostly ranking them by how funny they are but comedy is subjective feel free to send me anon hate ovr this i dont care

doing this in a five star format! ⭐ ⭐ ⭐ ⭐ ⭐

choukeimatsu: starting out strong! i love shitty older brothers! they suck <3 five stars ⭐ ⭐ ⭐ ⭐ ⭐

sokudomatsu: its ok, i like they more when they act out as other characters than themselves, they either do a funny skit or their manzai act, this one is a toss up for me! ⭐ ⭐ ⭐ ➖➖

parkamatsu: their shittyness and cuteness level gets balanced so evenly... its precious to see truly..... however!!! its cute to see oso treat ichi like a cat / a future ward of the state but alas its not tickling my funny bone as much ⭐ ⭐ ➖➖➖

bakamatsu: i like stupid idiots, i want more of them ⭐ ⭐ ⭐ ⭐ ➖

benimatsu: oso n todo are such shitheads fr, they enable eachother to be the worst version of themselves, which is both cute AND fun ⭐ ⭐ ⭐ ⭐ ⭐

suirikumatsu: i read this one comic where they both get bullied by everyone else and then get revenge at the beach, (ill find and reblog later) other than that i dont think they really have that many skits together? booo. its rough out there ➖➖➖➖➖

iromatsu: its mid, it makes me cringe more than laugh, well, thats a lie sometimes i do laugh, its a toss up really, (i do like the bazooka scene tho) ⭐⭐⭐➖ I

musclematsu: while iromatsu its ichi using kara as a chew toy karamatsu is like, a chew toy with spikes, and fire and hurtful things, so ichimatsu receives psychic damage by that. Yeah that does not happen with jyuushimatsu this is like a uno reverse, these two are made or way harder stuff, and way dumber too, five stars ⭐ ⭐ ⭐ ⭐ ⭐

woodmatsu: theyre sweet :3 its a good balance between karamatsu being a chewtoy and todomatsu being the tsukkomi fishing with love letters and falling in love with the same cashier? pretty solid gags ⭐ ⭐ ⭐ ⭐ ➖

middlematsu: funniest gag they ever did was the fact that they never talk to eachother, nobody has a good time here, four stars only bc its a rare one ⭐ ⭐ ⭐ ⭐ ➖

wakabamatsu: are u fucking kidding me ok this one is interesting bc when jyuushi is the boke i feel like the skits run way to long, i still laugh but whatever not the point. but when they make jyushimatsu choros tsukkomi??? insane behavior honestly. ⭐ ⭐ ⭐ ➖ ➖

cybermatsu: funniest shit ever, choromatsu shines with todomatsu as his pair truly, funniest shit ive ever seen ⭐ ⭐ ⭐ ⭐ ⭐

numbermatsu: top tier! what do i ever have to say here they just work ⭐ ⭐ ⭐ ⭐ ⭐

110matsu: catty bitches, ichimatsu gets to be weird in new ways here such is the curse of being a good straight man! hang in there todomatsu!! ⭐ ⭐ ⭐ ⭐ ➖

youngestmatsu: they r so fucking cute, cant remeber any skits with them tho, oh well ⭐ ⭐ ➖➖

☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆

ok now im gonna do groups!! but not really just the ones i care about, fuck the list im doing numbers now:

125- i like idiots, i want more of them, jyuushimatsus fun day with his big brothers (goes wrong) <3

456- shitty little brothers represent! u cant be mad at them theyre just little guys and its their birthday :3

346- catty bitches but more toxic, this one rulez, the self awareness has left the room

146- i think theyre neat

126- this is just my dream blunt rotation lets move on

246- i thought abt girlymatsu for a bit and passed out for a sec imagine this with me

thats all!!! get out of my post!!!

#osomatsu san #ac #long post

[sheepinthebigcity]

okay fine. ALL OF THEM. GO.

YOU'RE INSANE (am i even in that many fandoms)

the character everyone gets wrong

mad ducktor. enough said

2. a compelling argument for why your fave would never top or bottom

i'm presuming they meant dom or sub in this regard anyway i feel like all my faves are like lame ass switches and honestly i am SO tired of seeing them as always dom. boring behavior.

3. screenshot or description of the worst take you've seen on tumblr

honestly i'm just tired of seeing takes in 2023 about my girl faves and how they're annoying and get in the way of either yaoi ships or selfships...

4. what was the last straw that made you finally block that annoying person?

not to go back into ducks again but i remember when the animaniacs reboot dropped i made a mutual with this super annoying person on twitter who kept talking about yakko warner and milk and about a week later an acquaintance of mine asked me how long i knew them and then said "we think that your new mutual is cannedtins"

5. worst discord server and why

im not in bad discord servers im normal 0:-)

i do have a lot of osc and em servers muted tho <:-D

6. which ship fans are the most annoying?

a looooooot of shippers are annoying LOL. as far as not freak ships go, i sure do have a lot of hate in my heart for fenro... but are fenro fans annoying.... idk. i curate myself a lot.

WAIT NO JOIKE GOD THOSE GUYS ARE SO ANNOYING

7. what character did you begin to hate not because of canon but because how how the fandom acts about them?

i CANT just say mad ducktor again.... but honestly? 4 and X bfdi.....

9. worst part of canon

closing time being canon to catch 22

10. worst part of fanon

i hate when fanon unanimously agrees on a gender and sexuality headcanon for a character especially when it's one i relate to and i could make their gender and sexuality so so so so much weirder...

11. number of fandom-related words you've filtered

at least a dozen? i dont like a lot of popular fandoms.

12. the unpopular character that you actually like and why more people should like them

i feel like all my unpopular faves are unpopular for good reason. i may not like the reason but im alone in my happiness.

anyway fanny bfb you should like her because she has a rough exterior and a soft interior.

13. worst blorboficiation

the guys from one but i dont mind too much because it's one.

14. that one thing you see in fics all the time

i see a lot of x reader shit and it always feels like every reader is like. the same 19 year old girl. and man we're different in every way.

15. that one thing you see in fanart all the time

cat ears

16. you can't understand why so many people like this thing (characterization, trope, headcanon, etc)

honestly i guess i get it bc they're both protags but spifan... it's kind of... BORING to me! no offense to ppl who do like it but i find myself more into prufan and pacome x zorglub....

17. there should be more of this type of fic/art

sheep in the big city fic and art that doesn't suck

18. it's absolutely criminal that the fandom has been sleeping on...

honestly i'm in so many fandoms where there's a hero x villain old man ship and in SO MANY OF THEM it is ignored.... SAD!

19. you're mad/ashamed/horrified you actually kind of like...

let's just say there's a certain ship that goes against so many of my principles and yet i've shipped it for over a decade and got good friends to ship it too and leaf it there

20. part of canon you found tedious or boring

whatever the hell fireafy was doing in nubfb

21. part of canon you think is overhyped

clive dove professor layton. unwound future has better aspects

22. your favorite part of canon that everyone else ignores

i think ppl should pay more attention to misa in death note

23. ship you've unwillingly come around to

i used to hate mei x red son from monkie kid and now it's my top otp LOL

25. common fandom complaint that you're sick of hearing

"stop watching kid shows" these ppl aren't watching kid shows they are JUST watching owl house if they were wathcing kid shows i'd have someone to talk about rocketeer 2019 with

[sillspore]

Same anon from the long post one.

I like the idea but some of seen too much (Don't think I hate you please 😭, a lot Wc fans can't handle criticism sometimes and go right to you thinking if someone criticizes them/or their art they must hate the person)

Maybe because just I'm bramblestar and squilf's fan, I could be bias but I wish Brambleshade is more than just a dick? I understand you hate him and that is fine but making his whole character as nothing but a character with all flaws (that what I got from reading your post, not trying to assume anything, don't change your AU just because I or anyone said so, it's your work do what you want) seem lame to me.

He is seem more to have nothing but flaws, I don't see him doing a lot of those. Him trying to exiling Squirrelflight seems something he won't do at all and have.Again no hate toward you, I think your AU could be nice to some people but not for me. Not because of you, it just seem every AU with Brambleclaw, he is same character over again.

He is either a evil, good for nothing cat who is only there to have power of three plot to happen or like I said before a man wife.

again no hate to you but the AU isn't for me but I can definitely see other people liking, maybe I would like more if you make a fanfic about it, who knows. Again I'm not saying cant have a bad/ a character you don't like befit anyone's view because it's your fanfic, all that. It's up to you.

It just seem repeat from every other AU about or around Bramnleclaw. I hope to see ur AU grow ever through I don't like some of plots in it ❤️ /ih

yeah, i understand lol! since i haven’t written anything, it’s just an outline, the characters may seem very shallow or one dimensional :) i do want to give brambleshade good qualities — in the beginning he IS good. firestar made him deputy, after all, so he must have seen leader qualities within brambleclaw. however, the intent behind this au is to add small things i like, and make canon work. a lot of plot threads and character choices in warriors are… weird, to say the least. the goal with brambleshade is to make his canon character work. in the new prophecy, he’s kind of annoying, but he’s a good guy. he’s noble, and strong, and caring. but he DOES act petty and rude to squilf after the reveal of the three’s heritage (which personally, i feel he’s within his rights to do, for the lies she led him on with), he DOES act like the three aren’t his kids after (which is so dumb to me), and he DOES use his power as a leader to set up situations to make squirrelflight look disrespectful or dumb. he puts her in dangerous situations, forces her to choose her morals over his orders (thinking of squirrelflight’s hope here), and punishes her for it.

listen, in my head, my brambleclaw is a good guy. he’s a good cat-husband, a good dad, and a good if somewhat bland leader. in my head, he’s goldenflower’s son and he acts like it. but if i put HIM in THIS au, sooo many plots simply wouldn’t happen. to match the flow of canon, i’d have to create new plots and villains and honestly? i don’t want to haha. i’m still in school, i don’t have a whole lot of time to dedicate to this. so, i’m sticking with mostly canon overarching plots and doing what i need to make it work. and in canon, bramblestar sucks. they make him cruel and vindictive and a horrible mate to squirrelflight, sometimes he outright constructs narratives to come up with reasons to be mad at her. it’s crazy. personally, i see it as them ruining him to create a new antagonist, but they refuse to make him a villain, so no one recognizes or checks his behavior. it’s so infuriating, i wish the authors would pick a characterization. stick with the intended brambleclaw and actions that make sense for him, or stick to him going “evil” and acting insane (aka how he acts in squirrelflight’s hope).

so, to make canon work, bramble is good, then “bad” (acting within reason, but the protags are his not-kids who he’s being rude to, so he’s perceived badly), then bad. he’s not meant to be evil, he isn’t ashfur or anything. but the story is meant to show that he is heartbroken, and emotionally vulnerable, and embraces a vindictive part of himself he’s never let air (which IS canon, his thought process on if he should kill firestar in sunset or not is genuinely disturbing lmao). then he gets his mate back. and THEN he is killed, possessed, mentally violated. this RUINS him. he is not mentally stable, and this allows for squirrelstar to happen. i can very well just kill him at the end of the broken code instead, it achieves the exact same result. if that’s what you guys prefer, that works for me :) the intent of bramblestar trying to exile squirrelflight for “betraying” him is to show how he’s degraded, kind of like bluestar in arc 1, and give way for the audience to see the new code rule (stripping a leader of their power) . that’s kind of what i meant by “you won’t like this if you like brambleclaw” lol. i dislike his canon character, but in my head hes just a little guy. he’s got great potential and i love him. but that has no place in this au, because conflict is NEEDED.

i hope this doesn’t come across as defensive !!! just trying to explain why i made the decisions i did :) i really appreciate your thoughts and you sending them to me! the entire point of me sharing this blog is to receive suggestions and criticisms.

my intent isn’t to make brambleclaw evil, just an antagonist. i like to imagine if i have him die before squilf gets her lives, like in the final battle of tbc (idk what he’d die to yet though, haven’t reread those books yet), he’d regain mental clarity in starclan and give her a life, for love. <3

#erin hunter warriors #warrior cats #warriors #warriors rewrite #warriors au #squirrelflight #brambleclaw #bramblesquirrel

[forjongseong]

*knocking* since it’s written there

lol me reading something about studying as soon as i finished my exams🤡🤡. and it’s a studying for stupid IETLS. it’s not a studying it’s more a (stu)dying. hate everything that starts with sty- and ends with -dying.

so why heeseung getting the same score as before seems so funny to me??? and his excuse “i’d have gotten less without you”🙄. hope these tutoring sessions really helped him and he doesn’t have any problems during his study abroad. jake hoon hi🤭

okay okay okay that little interaction between y/n and the waitress!!! please tell me why do the waiters always want to pick up the dirty dishes right after i eat the last bite? they’re hunters with hawk eyes sometimes. what if i want to sit around dirty dishes a little longer mhm??

and student! jay being late reminded me of sec! rookie jay🥹 despite the fact that he came late he definitely called the impression. what an impression!! y/n was lowkey panicking admiring his handsomeness.girl same. we understand her cause look at him!! he doesn't have to do anything and i drool over him. tmi. a majestic black cat. jay’s never beating the black cat allegations fr.

him wanting a higher score than heeseung it’s just a boy moment. yk like boys comparing their dick sizes or number of hookups. boys🙄

AND WDYM WRTING ESSAY THE WAY JAY DOES IS WRONG????😟😟 i do it the same way??? for whole my life??? bro you should’ve written this fic a long time ago so maybe now my essay writing skills were at an all time high hdhdhd.

why was she surprised when he called the students stupid? if they don't listen to tutor who they paid money to who are they if not dumbasses?🤡 jay speaking facts right there.

y/n can’t stay mad at him for being late? simp behavior! him inviting her over to his house? act of a predator i think. nah forget it!! he just too cute with his nervous rumbling. like a virgin 🤭

EVERYONE PLEASE RISE FOR JAY IN RIMLESS GLASSES.🧎‍♂️🧎‍♂️MAN LOOKS WAY TOO GOOD IN THEM. and without them too.

false and not-given questions!!!! bro i hate it with all my heart and soul. always confuse me. jay and me in the same boat. we’re besties😎. just listen i can totally see with my eyes that needed information isn’t written in a question but what if i’m THAT stupid and i just didn’t comprehend it?? this type of questions is like “choose a correct answer: 1) a+a=2a; 2)a+a=a^2; 3)a+a=a”. fuck them.

“If I get the answer right,” he began, “would you show me your boobs?” OKAY I GET IT YOU’RE BOLD BRAVE DARING. “Alright, why not? Nothing to lose here,” NOT OKAY GAHSGSG. she should’ve not fallen for it. i honestly didn’t expect her to say that. i thought she’d react like a responsible tutor with “are you out of your mind? are those questions that hard to answer? i can explain it to you again” and laugh it out. but she’s wild and we love it.

NAUR JAY YOU PUSSY😭😭😭 YOU DARED NOONA TO SHOW YOU BOOBS YET YOU CHICKENED OUT NAUR DON’T BE LIKE THAT. AND NOOO CONSTRUCTION WORKER PLEASE READ THE ROOM. he surely doesn’t have a nunchi (plz get this joke🙏).

“I meant like, I think I could get motivated a lot if there was a reward waiting if I get a question right. Or if I reach a certain score in a mock test, don’t you think?” sure sure let’s see where your little game takes you. sorry it reminded me of dog that waits for the treat after completing the trick🤡

“Well, you’d probably be getting in between something.”…and you brought your hand to your thigh, patting it. STOP THE MADNESS RIGHT THERE. I CANT HANDLE IT.

*clearing my throat* *cough cough* usually 7.5 rounds off to 8 so Jay could receive a blowjob hahah. the makeout🤌🤌🤌 please kissing licking sucking jays birthmark😫😫 that’s all we want. is that too much to ask?

“Seamless,” he commented as he eyed your panties. would be cute if it was polka dots or striped panties🤭.

so jay is that of boyfriend who prioritizes his partners pleasure over his own? huh? and his fingers?? the way they curl??? he plays the guitar doesn’t he?? you have be good with fingers for that no?? once chance jay one chance im begging.

“It’s unfair,” Jay began, “the way you taste as good as you smell.” sir it’s unfair the way you look hot as you sit as you breath as you walk as you exist. you shouldn’t talk about the unfairness in this situation.

“In that case,” you said, pushing his chest slightly so he could move away from you. You tugged down your panties that had stayed on the whole time, and when you took them off your ankles you handed them to Jay. ughhhhhhghgg i just know he was jerking off holding panties with one hand right under his nose. like 🤤🤤

okay where the angst came from???😃😃 “I appreciate what you’ve been doing for me, but I also don’t want you to get the wrong idea.” the audacity. HAGAGAGAGAG BOY YOU FUNNY. made my giggle at night.

“If I get over 7.5—”“I’ll treat you to lunch.” what it's like to get the same thing in return? pleasant right? nice jay. good job. and you tell me he’s the top student in class? bro is stupider than these students who didn’t listen to y/n’s advices in the first part of fic. even though he get 8.5 he still stupid.

“The day of our last meeting when I said I needed to remain focused. I was trying to confess to you.” see!! who confesses like this??? only stupid boys. i get it. jay is just a book smart. what if before y/n noona he only saw human body in med books😱😱 he’s nerd after all.

“When I said if I get more than 7.5, I was going to say I wanted to eat you out.” top5 phrases to ruin the mood.

why he’s teasing her!?!?! why he’s teasing us?!/!/! please just fuck her already with your huge and thick and beautiful (i just know it) dick!!

“Tell me if it’s okay to move,” he whispered ever so gently before kissing your nose. but a point to him waiting till yn adjusts.🥹

Your hand was looking a little lonely, so he took it and intertwined his fingers with yours. fhfghfg “your hand looks heavy. can i hold it for you?”🤓

“So, what are we?” You asked in the most straightforward manner. TOP1 PHRASE TO RUIN THE MOOD.

GIRL I REREAD THE REWARD FOR THE THIRD TIME AND ITS 6 AM I DIDNT GET ANY SLEEP IM OVERWHELMED BYE

I read this review three times already and it's hilarious every time omg not you DRAGGING jay and literally calling him book smart, brave and a pussy in the same sentence, stupid and smart in the same sentence I AM CACKLING

glad you think it's wild because that means I achieved something... this is still by far my favorite one shot i have ever written for jay!

#by far best feedback too! #more like because none gave lengthy feedback lol #and i oop #nanaanswers #nana smile file #nanafeedbacks #fic: the reward #from.eva #p.s. if anyone is looking for an online IELTS tutor i actually AM one

[the-s1lly-corner]

Bump and if he's had any pets/animals in general? (Stuck at work rn so I'll be on and off 😭)

Bumps pets

^frewin

Obviously I'm not counting Frewin as a pet as he's a palisman but boy. If dog is mans best friend, then palisman is witchs best friend

Anyways

Oddly enough

Bump doesn't strike me as the type who would have pets... under normal circumstances (will elaborate in a second)

Now he's not an animal hater; in fact it's quite the opposite

He loves all sorts of animals, though he has preferences for dogs n cats

Especially cats

I feel like he'd also like some other types of pets; like ferrets or rats

Idk if its because for a human au im torn between making frewin a cat or ferret, or its something else but yeah

If Hieronymus has pets, there's one of two circumstances

One, the animal was a stray and Hieronymus is taking care of it for a while. If he can afford to and give the animal the things it needs, he'll keep it. If he cant, he'll find someone who can and wants to

Or, he adopts an older animal. The pets no one really gives second thoughts to at a shelter; and that sucks. Hieronymus knows it sucks, thats why he offers them the best life he can give them before they pass away

In the same vein, he'd do the same with an animal that has disabilities or has something that otherwise "turns off people from adopting them" (eg. Visible scars, behavioral stuff, ect ect), but only if he has sufficient knowledge of the pets condition and needs, and knows that long term he can get them what they need

Generally he won't take on more than one or two

Also if he has someone pet sitting you know he's gonna constantly be checking in on his phone

Also that he'd interrogate said pet sitter so he knows who hes hiring

[zadi-jyne]

Half an hour into bonding with mom going terribly, tried watching bo burnham and she busted out her fabrics and she's been making face covers and didn't notice when I changed it to john mulaney at this point neither of us r paying attention

#this sucks i cant do cat behavior man #sigh #will i ever learn ? #the answer is no #vent #d.ont r.eblog #vee.txt

[alienbrainwave]

i always seem to do the wrong thing

#dude. how do the days seem to just get worse? #like man.... #me:yay im excited to have a bigger room #me a day later: oh right but in exchange for a bigger room im basically bound to my parents for the rest of my life #me to my dad: youre exaggerating how bad it is living with mom because youre not in a good mind frame #meanwhile my mom to me: i hate you so much i wish i had never had kids youre the laziest sack of shit and a burden on the family #my mom continuing: youre just a waste of space and i hate your animals so much i will threaten to kill them every other day of the week for #their normal animal behaviors and stomp around the house and throw things and break things on purpose and scream at the top of my lungs #because i hate youre animals and you and everyone else #my dad: anyways its not that bad and every single problem that arises is your fault because you should know better #anyways. today really sucks and im going to be entirely alone with her the rest of the week #and im hating this move more every second #i was strong armed into moving and now i wont have an actual bed and i wont be able to have my dog in my room #and my cats wont have windows to look out of #but yes mom tell me again how great this move is and how lucky i am to be paying rent for this place #250 which is a cheap rent but also like now my parents will be dependant on me to pay rent so i cant leave #i hate this i hate this i hate this #ugh #anyways. dont mind me

[dvash-teshuva]

I'm gonna liveblog my 3rd conversion class lmao

Catholic raised lady asked about athiesm. Apparent kushner hated athiests I guess? But rabbi is giving good talks on it I think.

I really think athiesm as it stands normally in America is again a Christian paradigm- athiests reject the "big man in the sky" and "gd is cruel" is a really Christian perspective. It's completely bizarre.

Apparently, my Rabbi says he sucks at philosophy which is funny to me.

Children have fully formed theologies! Super cool!

Now we're chatting about how extremist theology led to the Shoah.

It has been 5 minutes.

"Far too many people do not have an adult relationship with the Divine" WOAH?!?!? I gotta reflect on that 0-0

Oooo we learn about the HHD today!!

Rabbi is also completely panicked for the holidays.

Tishrei is the 7th month because passover is in the first month. We're getting ready for 5781!!

Damn I wish i had a shofar ;-; I gotta get to some selichot services aaaa. I'm COMPLETELY unprepared. Rising before the sun??? Can I pray selichot without a minyan???

Shofar is a divine alarm clock, which is cool! But I think all of it is cool.

OH we sound it to confuse haSatan lmaoooo. HaSatan is a fucking lawyer. I get it now!! 🧿

Oh no, he's comparing hasatan to Diné tales of Coyotes. I'm not sure if that's appropriate.

Angels have no free will, nice. Angels dissolve as soon as they fulfill their purpose. 3 angels met Avraham, maybe this is why bad things come in 3?

Theodicy- the justification of Gd.

We still chatting about the Shofar confusing haSatan, how he keeps showing up to the heavenly courts but they're empty because its Elul.

30 minutes in.

4 new years!! So cool!! I cant wait for tu b'shevat. Tree time 🌳

EVERYONE is judged on rosh hashanan, and i can tell u that my cats did NOT do teshuva.

Sukkot is the judgement of rain, fall -spring is the rainy season.

Yom haDin is a day of judgement but not "the final call".

Ooh we talk about sin now. Sin in Christianity is not too close nowadays to judaism. Some think sin is temptation, external evil. But judaism doesn't see like that, the devil isn't really a thing. So we chose our sins, our obedience, etc. During this month we reflect on it. Sin isn't really a mistake, mistakes are honest, sin is like doing cruelty on purpose. Judaism's idea of sin are word like cheyt, but that word means "to miss the mark". There's avera, like the root of "to cross over", as in you decided to transgress. Avone, iniquity where u just ignore all boundaries. Peasha is callousness and neglect.

(This is going fast, bear with me)

On Yom Kippur, "you shall afflict your soul". Fasting, bathing, drink, anointing, leather shoes, sex, etc are forbidden on this day. We pretend to be dead, as Yom Kippur is like death? Worm. It is a shabbat of Complete Rest, so we go Next Level. Yom Kippur is allowed to be on shabbat, but not Friday or Sunday.

Scapegoat, scapegoat

Kohen gadol does mad sacrifice. Good for him. He pronounces the Shem ha-M'forash this day only.

Forgiveness, pardon, and atonement are all different. Teshuvah is turning not repentance (although it can and often does include repentance). I think?? Hmm

Two cateogories of sin: between us and Gd, and between a person and their fellow. However, hurting someone also offends Gd. Good for Her. On Yom Kippur we ask forgiveness from Gd, it doesn't absolve us of communal responsibility.

We are judged on Rosh HaShanah but our fate is sealed on Yom Kippur. You can't get rid of the consequences of your behavior, it isnt a clean slate. On Yom Kippur we accept the consequences, but on the days between we try to mitigate them.

All done I think!

That was. Much

#judaism #willow chat

[budugaapologist]

when you are reading this rant take full offense its 2am here and im mad as hell

fair warning this post is long as fuck and has several arguments pertaining to specific peeves i need to rant about before i go crazy. if you're not interested just keep scrolling it's not hard it's literally the core of social media navigation

you know what? ima say it.

black flag is the best ac game and deserves more recognition than just pirate drinking jokes because:

nearly every named character (sorry burgess and cockram) has development and personalities. cant say that for that many others in other games.

not too much fucking shit to do in it (unlike uhhhhhhhh every fucking other game in the franchise. stop it. i dont need 500 treasure chests in arno's game he already has an excellent revenue with the cafe. i dont need a ton of side quests. i dont need 30+ chests per london burough. i dont need a million question marks on my map. i dont need all of egypt or greece to be littered with shit to do. fuck this.).

unlocking shit is so much easier. edward knows where every treasure chest is and doesnt pay for treasure maps. and literally unlocking shit is so much easier.

base is slept on. its fucking cool. its fucking fun. its fucking useful as shit. its fucking pretty as all hell. fuck you.

good story, fun story, great dlc, relatable story (unless youre some bootlicking cowardly rich cunt) emotional story but not depressing (unity im looking at your ending. origins stop killing children.), satisfying end.

i can do the combat with one hand. you know what that means? i can eat and drink without pausing. i can reply to text messages without pausing. i can pet my dogs and cats while playing.

main character actually has changed by the end of the game a vast amount. motherfucker, edward changed more in his antó mission than ezio did in his trilogy.

if you dont complete all objectives you still have a passing score on the mission. do you know what its like to be raised to only get good grades on stuff and see yourself getting a 60% on a thing thats supposed to be a pass time just because you forgot something.

the naval combat isnt hard you just need practice. also i know the hunter ship sucks in the first mission you encounter but literally drop your sails but hold the wheel. once its in view let go. swim to it. take out the crew. swim back. bada bing bada boom go oneshot the crew. incredible, you're safe now.

legendary ship battles are really fucking cool and my mom doesnt yell at me for killing a giant beast for next to nothing.

the sea shanties and tavern songs slap.

farm animal petting simulator. not forced to kill dogs (ac3, odyssey).

obviously its good if the other games are just gonna copy paste it.

ed's tattoos are sick.

edward is literally the first canon bisexual. he literally says so in game. he literally fucking flirts with blackbeard. he literally was a pirate. why the fuck do you think birate is such an accurate pun.

diving outfit.

thicc.

the female characters dont have titties all over the place. even anne's boobs arent that big, which is good considering she is underage. the same cannot be said for many of the women in ezio's games.

guess who has a solid, interesting, and realistic personality. not kassandra or alexios thats for sure.

he is NOT moved by man pain (ezio, connor, bayek) to carry out his missions. he didn't want to be poor, he wanted to be able to provide for his family. he is just carrying out his dream to sail a ship. when he starts being "good", he is doing it out of guilt and shame on his past self (what, self reflection? someone, teach jacob this term), not because "wahh my girlfriend/mom/child/family died :'(", he wanted to make it up to his lost friends by making them proud and doing what they wished he had done. his regrets are in not being a better friend while mary was alive, not seeking out her killers (guards at fort). thatch's death crushed him, but he didn't thrust his anger on seeking revenge. and the characters that did die? they had personalities and development and were interesting and memorable. i cant tell you shit about cristina.

he is very respecting of women, especially for a white guy from the 1600s. he, as a teenager (under 17 i believe), attempted to save a woman he did not know and had no intentions of wooing (hey um ezio? you literally only were able to save cristina from being raped because you stalked her because you thought she was attractive. like thanks for saving her but uhh am i the only one that finds that creepy?) even though the odds of winning against three older men were stacked against him and he knew they could (and almost did) beat him to death. fuck if caroline wasnt there he would've been killed.

the modern day stuff is an excellent way to separate intense scenes and the little mini hacking games are fun puzzles. oh boohoo desmond isn't there? yes he was, half the things you hack literally give you desmond content.

rebecca's outfit fucking slaps.

from experience, its fun to play even if you dont know shit about the other ac games. pirates are cool and the story is easy to follow, just be prepared to find some of the other endings big letdowns or lots of the other games' missions boring.

is that fanservice that goes both ways but doesnt oversexualize any gender? why yes, it is!

stop reducing black flag to alcoholism jokes like yall constantly fucking do, it has so many other talking points and if you wanna make fun of something maybe choose something that isnt addiction. literally i make fun of edward constantly without pointing out his alcoholism it isnt that hard. if you're gonna make fun of edward for drinking rum when water in the 1700s often wasnt safe and making fun of him when he was depressed (he has multiple other intended self harming behaviors shown in game so no, he wasnt just drinking because its fun), why don't i see the same "wHy is aLL tHe WiNE gONe?" posts for arno? he was an alcoholic too. in fact arno and edward have a lot of the same forms of depression but oh, arno's a more serious character personality wise and isn't a pirate so his grieving isn't as funny.

and like, there are plenty of other things to make fun of with edward that might not make light of alcoholism because no, edward's drinking in the main story was not written to be a joke. here, a list of things i regularly make fun of him for:

this highwaisted man's got feminine hips

there is no reason for him to be that thicc

his bangs are a mess

his hair???? glows???? okay rapunzel.

his tatts that are just lines

actually you know what his tatts in general what do they mean ubisoft what even language are the words on his body in

how this whore opens the bottled messages on the beach. "ah yes, let me put this mysterious item in my mouth. i have no idea where its been. i could very well open it to read a note that says "i pissed on this""

"woman i just met... must respect her.. man i just met... im either going to give you a death threat, tease you, or flirt... sometimes multiple choices will be done......"

i mean he had the full right to be a bastard to walpole on the beach since he did try to be friendly but walpole was being to bitchy and needy. and like them being stranded wasnt edward's fault but walpole was still gonna make him build a ship and there is no reason for edward to trust walpole since after they get to havana he can easily just be like "thats a pirate, hang him." but like. the way he just immediately decides to steal his identity. legend.

why does he just blindly follow older men's orders like that

he trims his beard to a very odd location. i know it isn't a flattering pose but like. look at the underside of his jaw.

"how many references to dog behavior can we put in one character"

phobia of sleeping in a bed

"you saved my life i am eternally grateful."

edward are you seriously arguing with your eight year old daughter about the difference between a boat and a ship

where are your tanlines

how did he not die of skin cancer first

edward probably doesnt have any body hair because ubisoft didnt want his legs to glow in the dark too

look at his marooned outfit. bitch what the fuck is on your shirt. and where are your hair ties.

his dramatic beauty guru smokey eyes

he held that sword by the blade in the single madman quest. wh

anyway, the long run of this is, if you're gonna reblog an edward post from me specifically to make fun of an overused joke, go fuck yourself.

#edward #ac4 #i talk #assassins creed #im tired #and im tired of it! #im not saying to make fun of arno's alcoholism btw #just... just because edward tends to behave a little happier doesnt mean he is #both these men are depressed but like fuck mental disorders i guess

[julibf]

WHY THE END OF GAME OF THRONES IS NOT WORKING FOR ME....

I told in some of my past metas, that I wrote after the show was done, why the ending was so unsatisfying and I am going to try to explain why here in some point. Its not because it was sad and heartbreaking, or some of our theories never really turned out to be true.

I am afraid to say, Its George RRM who is letting me down, not Benioff and Weiss. So lets start with the points that are making my head spin.

BRAN THE BROKEN KING

If accept Bran Stark as the final King of this story, I have to pretend I didnt read the past books A CLASH IF KINGS and a FEAST FOR CROWS, where we had very good contenders fighting for the Throne (Rob Stark, Renly Baratheon, Stannis Baratheon, Joffrey Baratheon, etc) Yes, some of those men were not so good from a moral point of view, but they brought strength, militar support, militar and political alliances, legitimate claims to the Throne...

I could go on and on and on. There is absolutely no reason for why would Yara Greyjoy would bend the knee to Brandon Stark and accept him as her leader and ruler; or the Prince of Dorne, or the Lords from the Westerlands. This choice is absolutely absurd and if you read the books you would know that picking a boy king, with no claim to the Throne or no powerful armies makes any sense at all. Whe we add the fact Bran had hardly any experience ruling or leading people during the 7 years of this story, this pic gets even more and more bizarre.Not to mention, I really dislike the idea that humans are incapable to control their own emotions, and because of that we must pick a God like creature with no emotions.

 I understand George wanted a surprising ending and he wanted to go against the expectations, but this choice is an utopia. I cant get behind this choice. I am sorry.

TYRION HAND OF THE KING

Again, do I have to pretend I didnt read the books and actually know that being a Kingslayer is a very terrible sin to carry on Westeros??? Tyrion is not a beloved figure in this story, even before he killed his own father, Tywin Lannister.

Tyrion decision to kill his father, not only started the downfall of House Lannister, it also made the entire region of the Westerlands political weaker and more vulnerable to future attacks.He must be a very despised figure in the entire realm. Yet, he will be the second person in charge of Westeros??

At this point I am at loss of words. I have no idea what George is planning with this.

JON KILLING DAENERYS AS A LOVER IS A TERRIBLE IDEA.

Awful, terrible, horrible idea. Any way you slice, this was a terrible idea to end such amazing novel. Its corny, outdated and down right dangerous, considering we live in a world where females are at risk of being murdered by their male partners all the time.

This is such underwhelming decision, in a sea of underwhelming decisions that I am starting to think George was simply trying to make us all hate this ending.

We could have the realm raising in Rebelion against the Queen of Ashes; we could have second Dance of Dragons; We could have Arya using her underused superpowers as a Faceless men to kill Daenerys. No, we will have Jon Snow, still making excuses for Daenerys terrible behavior, begging her to start acting better???? telling her she will always be his queen while putting a dagger into her heart!!!

Again, this ending is coming from George himself. I cant really blame the D’s for this mess.

JON SNOW AND DAENERYS TARGARYEN ROMANCE WAS ANOTHER TERRIBLE IDEA.

Awful, terrible, horrible idea. Any way you slice, this was a terrible idea to end such amazing novel. If you dont believe Political Jon theory, then Jon Snow is just a completely fool, who fell in love with a tyrant, closed his eyes to all her terrible behavior and in the end was forced to kill the love of his life to save humanity. He is a idiot. and it breaks my heart that this is how Jon Snow will be remembered by audiences.  Some people keep on telling me. “Oh, by, I dont think this is how George will write him, I think its going to be much better” But I have to say, I dont think it will.

I do believe Jon was playing Dany in the beginning of their romance and was manipulating her in order to use her dragons and armies to save the North, but I also believe that once he finds out she is his family too, he became a little torned between his Targ and Stark family. He is a family man in the end of the day and he must feel some sort of guilty for his actions towards D@ny.

I think that George will keep Political Jon hidden between the lines, just like the show did. He may write much better and be more obvious, but I dont think it will ever be revealed explicit to the audience. And this is what kills his character. If he doesnt reveal to the audience that Jon was playing Daenerys, than it seems Jon Snow never really learned anything from his past 10 years and it sucks!!

No matter how you slice it, if George will keep Jon’s actions hidden and make the audience believe he is madly in love with this entitled monster and will keep on defending her until the very end and this is the character assassination of Jon Snow.

If, he is madly in love with Dany and has to be told several times that he must kill her to save the world from her tyranny, he is an IDIOT who never learned a damn thing in his life. If he DOESNT love Dany, but out of duty still is loyal to her, and has to be told several times to kill her in order to save the world, he is an IDIOT who never fucking learns anything. I dont get what George is doing here. He is destroying the character he spend so much time bulding as a hero, but that's exactly what he wants to do it. Maybe there are NO HEROS. (what a shit message).

I wished Jon and Dany had been just allies and later became enemies. This would be a much better ending for both characters.

CHARACTERS ARCS THAT SEEMS POINTLESS BY THE END OF THE STORY....

Jaime can not put Cersei behind him and comes back to die with her in the end;

Jon Snow can never, ever, ever learn with his mistakes and is still struggling after so much pain and misery in his life, over duty and honour.

Jon Snow years and years learning to be a leader and ruler is absolutely pointless and he is sent back to the Wall, where he started???

Sansa, who dreamed about love and family all 5 novels, ends this story completely alone;

Arya, who desperate wanted to go back home since season 1, leaves once again, this time for good??? leaving her younger brother alone in the South (where Stark men dont do well), her sister alone in Winterfell and Jon all alone at the Wall. WHAT THE FUCK?????

Daenerys can never overcome her family tragedy of Fire and Blood, and becomes the monster her father was;

In fact, it seems that its impossible for humans to evolve and become better people than their parents, a God like creature must rule us all, otherwise we are lost. (I can not repeated enough times, what terrible message this ending is, and its no even true!!!!, we live in a world of no magic, and we were able to produce rules who brought us peace, progress and humanity.)

THE COMPLETE LACK OF JOY, LOVE AND HOPE....

What really got me by surprise in the end, it was how sterile and hopeless this entire story felt. George once said that he writes so much violence, deaths and rapes in his novels because it is part of real medieval life and would be a lie to avoid those themes in his books, but you know whats also real part of medieval life?? Marriages? Marriage alliances, happy normal ones, who produce children, heirs, LIFE, FUTURE!!!

Oh we had weddings on ASOIAF, but most of them ended in slaughter, death, rape, misery. I dont think we had one happy birth inthis entire story? Gilly had a child from her father rapist and Edmure was able to produce a child too, but his bride Roselin was actualy in tears when they had sex (because she was aware of the Red Wedding plans) 

What a miserable tale this was. Our heros never really get to experience real joy. They never get to fullfill their childhood dreams. But they do get to be raped and abused, so, maybe thats ALL IT REALLY happened in the medieal times. Oh wait, its not tue, The War of the Roses ended with the marriage of Henry Tutor and Elizabeth of York. They had a very happy marriage and produced several children. 

In our story, we dont get to have laughter, joy, happiness or hope for a future. We do get several pages of Theon being tortured and dismembered in the books; or Sansa being physically and mentally abused; or Jon being consumed by loneliness and grief. But I guess, thats all it happened in the medieval times, so..........

Funny thing is, you see, before the story started, marriages and children were a common occurence in Westeros. Ned and Cat had several children; Cersei and Robbert had 3; Lysa was able to produce a child too; The Tyrells keep on making babies, even God damn Lyanna Stark, who only spent a few months married to Rheagar, was able to had a child. What miracle, its almost like those events were normal facts in those days.

In our story, no House can produce children, even bastards!!! Jon, Theon and Tyrion had quite lots of sex during this story, yet no children was ever produced. Maybe all men in Westeros became sterile, once ASOIAF started it. 

AS YOU SEE....

By the end of the day, I am disappointed in George, not really the TV show, which is even more sadder. I think he wrote a very beautiful story, but his ending is taking away all my joy for those characters and this novel. I know he wanted avoid the expected and subvert the expectations, but he is shooting his own story in their foot. And its braking my heart.

What terrible way to end such fascinating tale...

“[Bran] will be a good ruler bc he’s inhuman - which is a very depressing message. GoT was always about the struggle between human good & human evil w/in each person. Bran being king suggests that the solution to human evil isn’t human good, it’s being not human.”  

ALT SHIFT X described in great words, how I felt about this ending, and you could sense his disappointment in the final message of this story too. It's was an extremely nihlistic ending. Westeros hasn't changed in facts it's worse politically. 

A SONG OF ICE ANF FIRE VS LORD OF THE RINGS....

Now, lets compare this to LORD OF THE RINGS ending, who also got a bittersweet ending. Remember, George RRM is always comparing those stories and believes he is having a conversation to Tolkien. 

Honest to God, in comparison LOTR looks like a Disney movie. It has a beautiful coronation ceremony, humanity came together to save the world from evil, and THEY TRIUMPHED!!!! There is JOY, LOVE, HOPE. Aragorn is King of the Reunited Kingdom, the people love and admire him (can we say the same about King Bran?) . 

He marries his childhood love, Arwen and produce an heir. This brings hope and a sense of future for the reader. This story is uplifting, its inspiring, its quite frankly, a good story. 

Its impossible not feel good about this story and the ending is one of the reasons this story has touched so many people, from all over the world and has remained a classic. Because, the tale of humanity coming together to defeat the evil is a theme that its always occurring in our life times. This is something that Tolkien experienced personally, having to fight in the WWII.

The nazis were defeated because several countries, put aside their differences and fought for the good of humanity and yes, it is possible. And after WWII we actually managed to achieve a lot of humans rights for several people who were considered less in the early century. 

In GOT there was no joy or celebration, no weddings to form new alliances; to make peace; no births to bring new heirs, to bring a hope for the future. In fact, most wedding in the show were always associated with death and pain. Death and pain, yes, there was a lot of death and pain in ASOAIF. Thats all it has to offer the reader and viewer? Death, pain and misery??

I understand that George wanted to do the different and not give what the reader really wanted. But I have to be honest to you, in my opinion, this was a unfulfilling, uninspiring, unpleasant story. I said a few times, i have no desire to re read those long books. This story brought me no joy. And I understand that, stories are not obliged to bring us joy, but, they are supposed to make sense. And, I just dont think the ending made a lot of sense for those who read the books. Hey, maybe that was our mistake. Hee

What sad story :/

#jonsa #sansa stark #jon and sansa #season 8 #game of thrones

[werewolfwilds]

i redid an ask meme that i had originally done ~3 years ago to see the comparison so for archiving purposes im putting it in a lil journal entry here ! i wanna start doing small journal entries again it was fun when i did that

new answers bolded

1) what images do you have set for your desktop/cell phone wallpapers?

my desktop bg is literally just…. a collage of kageyama manga screencaps a h a,,,, and my cellphone bg are drawings some gay drew me like 74724 years ago :v // my desktop rn is actually a background from one of the dmmd routes LMFAO..... idk which one it is but i’ve always liked those bg pics!! my cell lock screen is p5 art and my bg is leopika

2) have you ever had a crush on a teacher?

nooooope // nah

3) what was your last text message?

my phone is dead so i wouldnt be able to tell you lmfao i dont even remember // it was a gif from kelly lol

4) what do you see yourself doing in 10 years?

hopefully working a job i enjoy and making costumes and being happy!! // god i have no idea and it freaks me out... hopefully working,,

5) if you could be anywhere else right now, where would you be?

hoommee ((or at katsucon tbh)) // at the beach with friends maybe

6) what was your coolest halloween costume?

a white cat probably lmao // i dont think ive ever had a particularly exciting halloween costume but one year i was sharpay from high school musical and i think i peaked then tbh

7) what was your favorite 90s show?

uhhhh….. i didnt really… start watching tv until like… the 2000′s so i really cant tell you man lol // spongebob started in 1999 does that coUNT,

8) who was your last kiss?

(answer redacted) // :/ someone should kiss me so i can change this answer lmao

9) have you ever been stood up?

nope //  nah

10) favorite ice cream flavor?

vanilla w/ vanilla oreos ok u need to underst a n d // this hasn’t changed i haven’t had this particular ice cream in a long time but i still stand by it

11) have you been to las vegas?

nahh // nope

12) your favorite pair of shoes?

idk i have these black ones i wear everywhere lol // i have a pair of white sneakers that i refuse to stop wearing now

13) honestly, have you ever cheated on your significant other?

i wouldnt even consider it. // no bc i’m not a piece of shit lmao?

14) what is your favorite fruit?

hmmm…. pineapple orrr…. strawberries but only if they’re the really good kind like they have to be perfect // pineapple!!

15) have you talked to anyone on tumblr that you could see yourself  dating/having sex with? if possible?

….. ye s… yes. // in the past apparently so but thinking about it now nah lol

16) are you into hookups? short or long term relationships?

hookups arent my thing eh i prefer long term relationships altho i cant really say ive been in a “long” term relationship pffff // i don’t think hookups will ever be my thing, emotionally long term relationships are what i’m here for but i’m also a Very Impulsive Person so i cant tell you if this will stay a fact :’)

17) do you smoke? if so, what?

nope dont wanna // no thanks

18) what do you do to get over your anger?

usually talk to people or shout into word // i have to vent about it to someone probably a thousand times even months or years after it happens tbh

19) do you believe in god?

nahh // nah

20) does the person you’re in love with know it?

i aint in love with anyone rn so no? // i’m not in love with anyone.

21) favorite position?

………….. for w hat………. // oh honey lmfao... N/A

22) what’s your horoscope sign?

virgo/ox ovob // Virgo/sun, Aries/moon, Libra/rising and Cancer/midheaven

23) your fears?

literally everything i already named a few so ill name some others… ghh anything in… the ocean or lakes and stuff frightens me and i really dont know why bu tlike…. fish and crabs and jellyfish and seaweed cuz it’s evil and stu f f basically anything that’s not a mammal or turtles or penguins…. lo l im a baby // uncertainty is a big fear of mine and also people being mad at me lmao... as far as physical fears though i have debilitating fears of almost all insects/arachnids and lobsters/shrimp/crawfish :^)))))

24) how many pets do you have? what kind?

two cats and a dog!! // one cat one dog

25) what never fails to turn you on?

i dunno,,/////// // lol neck biting/kissing oof

26) your idea of a perfect first date?

im okay with mostly anything i just really like spending time with the person ; v ; // i’ve never really had an answer for this? thinking about dates has always made me so anxious for whatever reason but i’ll be happy to just spend time with them doing whatever honestly, i’m a super indecisive person aha

27) what is something most people don’t know about you?

i dont really know tbh lmfao // i’ve considered in the past looking into mental conditions (anxiety/bpd/etc) to see if i might have one or two but i never want to say anything about it because i don’t want to self-diagnose anything.

28) what makes you feel the happiest?

nice weather and nice conversations w/ best people u//v//u // nice weather and hanging out with people who are fun and easy to talk to

29) what store do you shop at most often?

does….. arda wigs count or… // does arda wigs still count bc mood lmao but truthfully now it’s probably target

30) how do you feel about oral? giving and/or receiving?

kkdkjsfkjkjfj??fsfj/// go for i t??? i have no problems with i t??? i dont think ill ever be willing to put a dick in my mouth though // these random sexual questions thrown in here are something aren’t they lmao. not going to disclose much but i will stand by the fact that i will not put a dick in my mouth lo l

31) do you believe in karma?

sometimes ye // i believe that people will eventually get what’s coming to them but i don’t believe in karma as a solid concept if that makes sense? like i don’t think it’s guaranteed

32) are you single?

yup yup // yeah it’s been wild lmao

33) do you think flowers or candy are a better way to apologize?

i think being sincere is the best way to apologize– if you truly mean it the person will know. you dont need to buy your forgiveness. // the best way to apologize is just to apologize sincerely and change your behavior if it’s applicable.

34) are you a good swimmer?

ehh??? im ok i guess– i took swimming lessons as a kid but i havent done legit swimming ever since then lmao,, ive always been best at the backstroke tho yea // i mean i have the ability to swim but i’m not olympic-worthy or anything lmao

35) coffee or tea?

ehhh im not big on either tbh // chocolate milk and you can fight me

36) online shopping or shopping in person?

depends what your shopping for i guess?? online is more relaxed i guess // online probably because shopping in person Gives Me Anxiety

37) would you rather be older or younger than your current age?

ehhh im happy where i am tbh // older

38) cats or dogs?

do not make me choose // cats and dogs* there i fixed it for you

39) are you a competitive person?

ahaa,,,,, oh god yeah,, // OOF yeah

40) do you believe in aliens?

i believe there’s life on other planets somewhere?? so i guess?? // i believe in aliens in the sense that there’s no way we are the only living life forms in the universe but not in the science-fiction way you feel me

41) do you like dancing?

i do but i suck at it lmao // i do but i: A- suck, and B- have no stamina

42) what kind of music to you listen to?

nearly everything tbh // i’m not picky when it comes to music but imma be real w u. almost all of the music on my phone is kpop. seventeen is my favorite group along with astro, and i also enjoy super junior, shinee, red velvet, etc among so many others,,, im pretty wide spread !

43) what is your favorite cartoon character?

i will never be able to pick just one // i’ll literally never be able to answer this

44) where are you from?

philadelphia uvu // philly!

45) eat at home or eat out?

hmmm at home. // at home

46) how much more social are you when you’re drunk?

i never plan on being drunk tyvm // i’ve never consumed alcohol in my life and to be Quite Fucking Honest i want nothing to do with it

47) what was the last thing you bought for yourself?

bracelets ! ; u ; // uh... excluding food and music... earrings i think

48) why do you think your followers follow you?

uhhhhhhh lmfao i have no idea i think… a good amount are for my cosplays at least?? or id like to think so lmfao but i really dont know pfft // my followers have just accumulated and hung around over the years... i know i gained a good amount from my snk days as arlert-the-troops and then through my haikyuu phase, whether it was for my cosplay or other posts that i made... whenever someone follows me now im not entirely sure what its for but i appreciate everyone who’s stuck around!

49) how many hours do you sleep at night?

it’s never regular man // 6-9 (lol) hours is pretty normal for me

50) what worries you most about the future?

everything tbh // the future as a concept worries me lol

#useless shouting #journal crap #sorry for so many personal posts lately ive been having fun with them lmfao

[comicteaparty]

January 3rd, 2019 CTP Archive

The archive for the Comic Tea Party chat that occurred on January 3rd, 2019, from 5PM - 7PM PST.  The chat focused on Princess Pups by Lindsay Hornsby.

Featured Comment:

Chat:

RebelVampire

COMIC TEA PARTY- THURSDAY BOOK CLUB START!

Good evening, everyone~! This week’s Thursday Book Club is officially beginning! Today we are discussing Princess Pups by Lindsay Hornsby~! (https://tapas.io/series/Princess-Pups)

Remember that Thursday discussions are completely freeform! However, every 30 minutes I will drop in OPTIONAL discussion questions in case you’d like a bit of a prompt. If you miss out on one of these prompts, you can find them pinned for the chat’s duration. Additionally, remember that while constructive criticism is allowed, our focus is fun and respectfully appreciating the comic. All that said, let’s begin!

QUESTION 1. What is your favorite strip in the comic so far and why?

one strip i really enjoyed myself was this one https://tapas.io/episode/295876 where the pups are having a debate. partly just cause of how quickly the debate devolved, and partly cause i loved how cute it was that the judging pups got to have cake and cookies and were basically the ultimate winners.

although my all time favorite is definitely the valentines strip https://tapas.io/episode/284778. this one just hurt my heart with the cuteness and i think sends such a positive message about how maybe the jerks around us also just didnt get their own valentines and are lashing out in jealousy. and i love the princess pups for putting kindness before revenge.

in terms of comedy, to lighten things up from that last one, there's also this strip https://tapas.io/episode/812585 that i enjoyed. partly cause i always love Pug Pups shenanigans of just basically wanting to eat anything and everything. but also because i like the irony that nope the eclipse was just a giant cookie thing in the sky. although maybe theyll figure it out when it takes a while to disappear

L Hornsby

Hiya, I draw Princess Pups and I'm glad you like it @RebelVampire !

RebelVampire

thank you for coming, @L Hornsby ~!

related to pug pup https://tapas.io/episode/499353 i super loved pug pups idea of a horror story is that the fridge is empty. XD but another good strip just cause they once again didnt scorn the ghost. just said come on ghost, join our party. which i mean is a sign theyre great party throwers cause basically anyone is a potential guest.

L Hornsby

They especially love having a party with someone else who enjoys candy

(even if they are a ghost)

RebelVampire

which now made me overthink wondering if the ghost cant actually eat it and it just passes through them. XD although i doubt pug pup would complain about that. can just follow the trail and eat all those candies

L Hornsby

The ghost probably enjoys at least being around candies and cookies I hadn't considered if it could eat it though. Makes me think about Slimer from GhostBusters going after a buffet

RebelVampire

lol. mysteries for another day probably. more important they have a good, fun experience

L Hornsby

Yeah!

RebelVampire

https://tapas.io/episode/266696 another strip i thought was hilarious. the princess pups making all these elaborate plans to get their food back. meanwhile the cats basically self sabotage by beating each other up and having a slap fight. which tbf is very accurate to cats since they dont like food competition XD

L Hornsby

The Commando Cats sometimes work together, but usually don't

RebelVampire

wait theyre called the commando cats? XD thats great

L Hornsby

Yeah Since the Pups don't talk, it doesn't get brought up in the comics unless I'm putting a note under the comic

I wanted something sort of opposite of "Princess Pups" but with cats and I also wanted them to wear hats instead of crowns

RebelVampire

i do enjoy their hats

QUESTION 2. Which of the Princess Pups is your favorite insofar? What about this pup makes you like them? Of the strips so far, what has been your favorite story to have this pup in it? What about their role in the strip made it enjoyable for you? In regards to your favorite pup, which pup do you love to see them interact with and why? What pup(s) do you feel your favorite should interact with more? Lastly, are there any minor recurring characters you enjoy seeing? Who are they and what about them do you like?

despite where my answers may have lead one to believe, my favorite pup is actually Scruffy Pup. I love her overall design and how it suits her messy personality in general, to start with. I especially just love her eyes though. Sometimes about them just makes her have the cutest facial expressions to me. As far as strips with her in it, I really liked Goat World https://tapas.io/episode/516356. partly cause i enjoyed just how plain enthusiastic she was about going to goat world. things go awry, and in the end the goats that she loved betrayed her by trying to eat all her stuff. which i mean is sad, but also hilarious just cause goats just be doin goat things.

as for interactions, im not sure i really have a preference. although i would like to see scruffy pup and pug pup interact more in the future. cause pug pup is my 2nd favorite and i feel the messiest pup + the eatiest pup could result in the best of pup shenanigans

L Hornsby

I drew Goat World due to a visit to a petting zoo where the goats kept trying to take my map, my backpack, and a piece of thread from my shirt

Scruffy Pup and Pug Pup definitely are the messiest and hungriest of the pups for sure though!

RebelVampire

lol omg. that sounds like quite the experience and reminds me why i dont really go to petting zoos

since pug pup is my second favorite, i will also answer these questions for pug pup. i really enjoy pug pup because she basically the most chill. like that whole pizza party story arch. pug pup didnt care what was on the pizza. she just wanted to eat it. and i think that makes her adorable. her immense single minded focus. i dont really have a fave strip in this case cause i generally like all of pug pup's roles in any strips. i think in general she alone provides a ton of the comedy moments for the comic. XD

in terms of minor characters, i love the commando cats. partly out of my biased love for cats, but i also just love both their cute hats and the fact that theyre super cat like in how they react. like theyre the antagonists more by cat nature rather than this over the top manner you usually see in things.

L Hornsby

They're a mix of a few cats I've had growing up / currently. Cats can be really grumpy and fight each other, but can also be cuddle friends, but then go back to smacking each other XD

RebelVampire

yes that is definitely accurate to cats

mathtans

Hello dere. Only had a chance to read the origin so far this week, but wanted to say I'm impressed at how much gets conveyed without dialogue balloons.

L Hornsby

Pug Pup might be one of my most favorite to draw, but also least favorite because sometimes I forget to color her mouth markings, and I feel silly when that happens

mathtans

Also, I love the term "cloud meeples".

L Hornsby

Thanks @mathtans ! The comic I'd been doing previous to Princess Pups involved a very chatty six year old, so I wanted to try to keep this one very pantomime

RebelVampire

speaking of hte origin story, i love teacup pup had to have official princess pup papers that fluff pup scrutinized thoroughly XD

mathtans

Scanning the backlog here. Yep, that seems accurate to cats, though I admit I'm a cat person.

Teacup pup is precious. Vacuum sucks.

I'm reading through more now. I wonder if they make the charts themselves, or use the wands to do it.

RebelVampire

i actually wondered if the vacuum was accurate to dogs. like i know cats consider them their mortal enemies. but ive never owned a dog to know if they too fear the monster vacuum(edited)

L Hornsby

Sometimes they make things by hand (paw), sometimes TeaCup Pup will use Magics

Oh man, my dog can't stand the vacuum. My dog growing up couldn't stand it either.

King Vacuum is based on this awful vacuum my mom had when I was a kid that weighed probably 50 pounds and was super annoying to use. It was called a Kirby Vacuum (not as cool as Kirby from Kirby's Dream Land)

mathtans

Maybe in the sequel they fight a roomba.

L Hornsby

https://i.ebayimg.com/00/s/NDAwWDMwMA==/z/u4IAAOSwxH1UB0PB/$_35.JPG?set_id=2 this is totally that vacuum

mathtans

Reminds me of the vacuum from "littlest toaster" for some reason.

RebelVampire

we still have a kirby vacuum in my house. XD it is very annoying to use and i support it being the ultimate vacuum enemy

mathtans

"Magic" is too funny.

RebelVampire

as in the strip, math?

cause if you mean the strip, i do wonder how long it was before corgi pup noticed the tail XD

mathtans

The strip I got to, yes. Very "bunny".

OMG, all the feels for that Valentine one, you're right Rebel.

RebelVampire

QUESTION 3. The strips offer a lot of variety in terms of set-up. Which of the strips did you feel was most relatable as far as the behavior of dogs go? What about that strip makes it this way to you? Of all the strips, which strip played out in a way that you didn’t expect and potentially made you laugh or aww at it? Why did it catch you off guard, and what made the twist likeable? Many of the strips also have positive messages within them. Which strip left the most impact on you in terms of endearment or positive messages behind it? What about the strip left this impact?

next time the pups face a vacuum they can join forces with the commando cats. and together they can win against the roomba army.

mathtans

I don't know much about dog behaviour. I had a newspaper route for 7 years and got bitten once, so mostly I avoid them.

L Hornsby

That's too bad

mathtans

It would be interesting to see the dogs and cats against a common enemy.

L Hornsby

That's true.

mathtans

I didn't expect the 'piff' into the cloud at the bottom of the slide, that was amusing.

RebelVampire

https://tapas.io/episode/334958 that was probably the strip i found probably reflected dog behavior the most. also qualifies as one where i didnt expect the twist. i legit thought they were gonna make a nice garden.

and then they didnt

although poor scruffy pup

missed out on dirt rolling

mathtans

Dog gonnit.

RebelVampire

oh no the puns have begun XD

L Hornsby

If the Princess Pups did more than just bark and make dog noises, there would be A Lot More Puns

RebelVampire

they can just write a dog pun book

send the commando cats a free copy

mathtans

The "silent movie" aspect is pretty cool though.

RebelVampire

yeah i think it works well cause theyre all very expressive and the scenarios have that right blend of simplicity where the stories are always understandable and relateable

mathtans

Actually, if it counts, some of the author comments at the end give me unexpected laughs too. (How DO they get a pool in the clouds?)

Yeah, expressions are great. Some of the posing in particular is fun to read.

RebelVampire

ya know im not gonna question a pool in the clouds cause tbh the beginning made me wonder if they were in doggie heaven since cloud imagery usually equals heaven XD

so i will always be thankful its not

and they just live in the clouds

L Hornsby

LOL oh no, I hadn't thought of that

mathtans

Pug Pup seems so amusingly clueless. Might be my fave, which is weird, because I'm not a fan of the wrinkly look in real life.

I was wondering if they were angels or something initially too. Like would they be visiting earth and seeing humans or something.

L Hornsby

Nah, they just live in the clouds and occasionally slide down rainbows to visit the ground

mathtans

Now alien meeples. Meeples is the best word.

L Hornsby

It really is!

RebelVampire

im glad im not the only one who thought the dead angel thing. XD cause that would be a morbid start.

mathtans

Constantly amazed at how much gets conveyed without dialogue in these strips. So good.

Like the no cookie stuff in the space sequence.

Or the ghost encounter and telling stories.

RebelVampire

this is another strip i think had a twist in that i overguessed. https://tapas.io/episode/616509 cause when the dinosaur leg went missing i was like "nah it couldnt be this is gonna be some doggie profiling." but then nope, it was my favorite pup being super obvious about it. which also surprised me cause totally thought pug pup would be the bone thief if it was anyone.

mathtans

Or for that matter, Santa and the goat.

Heh, nice parody of the venus oyster shell painting in that one.

RebelVampire

i questioned corgi pup's choice of gift. i wasnt sure if scruffy pup would still even like goats after the goat world incident XD

and then the goat tried to eat scruffy pup, the nightmares relived O_O

mathtans

I like the one just before that, with the fly needing it's own book. Would not have called that.

Goats are tricky. Like elves.

L Hornsby

Corgi Pup assumed that Scruffy Pup's love of goats hadn't wavered after such and experience at Goat World. But Corgi Pup probably should have examined closer to see that it was a Baby Krampus she was buying instead

RebelVampire

i did like the fly needing its own book. also made me aww just cause i love when the pups are being precious like that and putting kindness first. truly model princesses

mathtans

I hate getting a krampus in my legus.

RebelVampire

at least santa saved the day

mathtans

Yis, very precious attitudes.

RebelVampire

another strip i loved that had a twist was https://tapas.io/episode/833602

like i assumed pug pup would defy the odds and catch something

did not expect it to be scruffy pup XD

and those looks of surprise are priceless XD

mathtans

I'm learning about pineapples.

RebelVampire

haha

i thought it was super lucky teacup pup was the one to get the pineapple

so she could cheat and use the wand

cause idk how the other pups wouldve managed XD

QUESTION 4. The Princess Pups have met with two other pup groups: the CowPoke Pups and the Space Pups. Which of these other groups interested you the most and why? Whether your favorite group, which about each story line did you like? What other groups do you think the Princess Pups might meet? In terms of future stories, do you think we will see the CowPoke Pups or Space Pups again? If so, in what manner might we see them? In general, what shenanigans do you think the Princess Pups will get up to in the future?

i liked both groups, but i think im gonna side with the space pups just cause they had fun things like the ability to turn off gravity. and no gravity makes for some fun parties where you can do lots and lots of things.

mathtans

Huh, I don't think I even clued in that she was the only one with a wand.

RebelVampire

yes it was her prize for defeating king vacuum and being the brave one

mathtans

Space Pups also had alien meeples.

Rebel - I thought it was just her official graduation gift or something, like the others had them in reserve without occasion to use them.

L Hornsby

Oh man, I looked up so many images of Pineapples and how they grow for that Pizza Party story

mathtans

I was wondering how much research was necessary. Ever decide, 'heck with it, they're getting broccoli'?

L Hornsby

TeaCup Pup was passed the mantle of holding The Wand by Fluf Pup after the origin story @mathtans

How DOES broccoli grow?

mathtans

I thought it was just heads in the ground like cauliflower but now I'm not sure. O.o

L Hornsby

It grows up and is quite green lol

still has leafy things around it like the Pineapples

mathtans

Still reading during the chat. I like how the unconventional topping of a cupcake helped save the day.

L Hornsby

I did like drawing the Alien Meeples a lot

RebelVampire

broccoli is a weird looking plant ill say. although would probably have been easier than pineapple. but then again idk how many pups would want broccoli on the pizza. not that i think pug pup would complain. i just assume pug pup will eat anything edible. maybe some not edible things

i really liked in the cowpoke pups storyline where they had to catch up to a moving train and jump on. it felt very epically western and made me admire how cool and brave the pups are.

mathtans

Yeah, pug doesn't seem too fussy.

Also, the Space Pups returned to create an eclipse, that was an unexpected guest starring role.

L Hornsby

The Solar Eclipse in 2017 was sooooooo cool! And it totally looked like a giant sandwich cookie to me

RebelVampire

its kind of a shame the space pups didnt invite the princess pups again to eat the sandwich cookie

i kind of hope we see the space pups again as the call the princess pups needing help on a space mission

ultimate space adventure

L Hornsby

They'll probably show up again

mathtans

I kinda remember that eclipse, aye.

Hm, are there also pups that live in the sea? Mer-Pups?

L Hornsby

The Space Pups are based on my dog Hannah and her brother Walter. We adopted Hannah and someone else adopted Walter a few days later

There might be Mer-Pups?

RebelVampire

omg

i totally support mer pups

that would adorable

and cool undersea parties can be had

with colorful coral

L Hornsby

The Pups might end up going back in time first. I'm a sucker for drawing dinosaurs

mathtans

Oooh, time travel is always fun. Hopefully they don't go for the bones of the live dinosaurs.

I've reached the Go West part.

RebelVampire

that also sounds awesome. can just picture them running from the trex. then making friends. all sitting around having cookies together

L Hornsby

Prehistoric cookies

or maybe just dinosaur shaped ones

RebelVampire

thatd also be cute. endear the dinosaurs to them by making cookie self portraits.

i wonder if there are secret agent pups

who go around everywhere wearing sunglasses

L Hornsby

maybe?

mathtans

(Sorry, little one was fussing, had to run off for a moment.)

Just wanted to say before the end, the goat eyes are interestingly unique, makes it easy to tell them apart from the rest of the animals.

RebelVampire

https://tapas.io/episode/1197013 i really love this vulture train dude with the hat btw. i actually hope we see the vultures again cause they had such great expressive and evil faces

mathtans

Those vultures are pretty petty.

L Hornsby

Vultures are both cute and terrifying in real life

And the same with goats. I wanted to use Actual Goat Eyes because they're SO WEIRD

mathtans

Oh hey, caught up just in time. I like the one balloon falling down.

Goats + Pineapples = wha?

RebelVampire

as we draw to a close, i just want to say the comic was really nice and a great way to start off the year i think. there were just so many heartwarming moments and i loved the immense kindness the pups always showed despite adversity

L Hornsby

A Goat Pineapple?!?

mathtans

Pineapple with slanty eyes.

Agreed, Rebel.

L Hornsby

Aw, thanks guys! I don't have a huge following so it was good to hear from some readers!

RebelVampire

COMIC TEA PARTY- THURSDAY BOOK CLUB END!

Sadly, this wraps up this week’s Thursday Book Club chat for now. Thank you so much to everyone for reading and joining us! We want to give a special thank you to Lindsay Hornsby, as well, for making Princess Pups. If you liked the comic, make sure to support Lindsay Hornsby’s efforts however you’re able to~!

Read and Comment: https://tapas.io/series/Princess-Pups

Lindsay Hornsby’s Gumroad Shop: https://gumroad.com/fizzlebit

Lindsay Hornsby’s Twitter: https://twitter.com/Fizzlebit

Comic Tea Party- Thursday Book Club

Next week’s Thursday Book Club will be about Chasing Little Lights by Evelyn Shi. For participants, you have the next week to read as much of the comic as you would like~! We hope to see you on Thursday, January 10th, from 5PM to 7PM PST for the chat in #thursday_bookclub!

Comic’s Main Site: http://www.cllcomic.com/

Comic’s Tapas Mirror: https://tapas.io/series/cll

#ctparchive #comics #webcomics #indie comics #comic chat #comic discussion #book club #bookclub #webcomic bookclub #webcomic book club #comic tea party #ctp #princess pups #lindsay hornsby

[teddy-feathers]

@avidlebon i uh. Tangled maybe? Ive seen the movie not the new show. Dads... Got the mindset of hes the man of the house. His way or the highway he knows best. Hes not a bad guy I'm just... So fed up with how he talks and behaves and his "hes in charge" attitude. I'm... Tired of feeling disrespected that nothing i do or care about matters my opinions are *wrong* like dude maybe I dont have all the info but im tired of your holier than thou attitude. And yeah its little shit like things only go where he says they go and he throughs a fit like a CHILD if things are out of place i realize its not my house but when him and mom disagree mom basically sucks it up and doesnt argue she just does what she wants around him which just adds drama later or like. He gets to be loud. Or vent. Or bitch. Or make HORRIBLE remarks and insinuations like i dont care if im being a smart ass bitch from hell (even discounting that any more if Im back talking its because HE FUCKING STARTED IT) you do not get to say i need to watch my damn tone or youre going to knock my teeth down my throat Like no. You havent really touched me or beat me but that doesnt mean saying shit like thats okay and i swear tk god he ever grabs me by the shirt front to get in my face EVER again NO MATTER the provocation or how legit he thinks his reason is I'm WALKING to Virginia. And for the love of god I mean you dont get to tell me to watch MY attitude watch MY tone and act and behave like THAT i SWEAR I'm getting SO CLOSE to just saying "either keep a civil tone or shut up" because damn it I dont care if hes paying the bills or that its his house Im SICK of how he gets to be an asshole one sec and then we all sit around and talk about something light or watch shows like nothing happened because nothing did. I dont care that hes BETTER my tolerance and acceptance has a lower base line for this shit. Like if nothing else I got out of going to see a shrink is knowing that I'm an adult and a person deserving of space and consideration - that even if I wasnt an adult I SHOULDNT have to put up with this behavior if it upsets me. and you know if he wants to play the "you know where the door is" card... Ive left before. It was because of my issues not because of him but... By acknowldging and attempting to deal with my shit... NOT responsible for dealing with HIS shit. He needs to control his temper. Im not saying hes not allowed to be angry in his own god blessed house im saying how he expresses it amd how he makes it our problem how discussions are a MANDITORY sham how disrespectful he is of our time... When i work or have appointments they need to be on the calender the sooner the better. But weekend with nothing scheduled comes up we have plans. Plans that when I ask I get youll see. Or we're doing cleaning. Cleaning what? Vacuuming laundry? Anything I can do and work around? No dont do things until i tell you. Or i wake up and I wanted to go to a cat cafe. Or job hunting. And suddenly we're going grocery shopping and sense we're out lets stop here here and here or hey i need to talk to you when youre done talking to your friend. ... Um my one friend (he doesnt count online people) that i talk to? That i MAYBE can talk to once a month? That if i get on the phone with were prob spending the rest of the night bsing? I'm not going to be done so if you want to talk tell me that and well talk and ill call my friend back after. Dont get fucking huffy like im prioritizing them over you when i hardly talk to them, and you HAVE to notice how freaked i get when you ambush me with talks. and like. Tuck in your shirt. Do something with your hair. You look un professional i wouldn't hire you. Or you know i have somewhere to be and you stop me on.my way out the door? I dont care if YOU dont think i need to leave an hour early. why the fuck would you think thats okay? And just this whole "walk it off pussy, people and their fragile fucking egos" like hello. Daughter youre talking to? The one who has to "walk off" the panic attacks facing YOUR attitude gives me however unintentional to walk around and smile and keep the conversation light? Who has to respond to everything you say and navigate the conversation like a fucking pro to avoid things I cant stand talking about with you because it makes it worse? The person who HAS to compulsively fixate on EVERYONES tone and attitude and when feels over whelmed hides in the bathroom trying not to cry and yet has STILL managed to fucking work cashier jobs most of her working life? Yeah standing right here asshole. YOU dont get to tell anyone how much is too much for them to handle, you dont get to caat shame on "my generation" and therefore ME when on what I can or cannot handle. You dont get to fucking decided whats too much for me to handle or how far I have to push myself to be worthy i have PROVED myself to your standards, been homeless and emotionally wrecked contemplated suicide NOT because im a "coward" but because being ALIVE has at times caused myself and those i care about more pain than i could POSSIBLY have value. I worked my ass off alone, did things the "hard way" thinking itd prove something to me or to you and Not one god damn thing changed and you know what? It WAS too much to handle alone - i pushed myself so far outside being okay that the ONLY god blessed reason I AM alive is that my best friend who you think so LITTLE of was there and so was her mom and hell Ive been to therapy. Ive struggled and come so far and i am NOT going to let you make me feel like nothing. I can feel valuless all by myself, can feel like shit all by myself, have enough of my OWN negitivity to carry I REFUSE to carry yours. And i DONT have to. I DONT. NO ONE DOES. Even if putting up with it means another day with a roof and food even if there was NO way of me surviving on my own that doesnt mean i deserve to be treated this way. And im lucky because i have other people in my life willing to help if i call. So i can afford to be upset.... Even if it makes me feel guilty. Even if i feel unreasonable. I may not be able to sit down and tell him he needs to learn to respect others - or at least me and mom that his behavior is unexceptable to me... But its freeing in a way to know i dont. That im allowed to be mad at him for it. I didn't mean to rant. Apparently just needed it. Sorry.

[bpdmagic]

sorry i need to vent for like a sec about how much my life sucks right now just ignore it i guess or read it and feel better about your life

since leaving college in may i’ve

- been dumped and gained 30+ pounds i literally want to just starve myself like i did when i was really depressed in college but i live with my dad and his fucking terrible wife and the tiny ass dog that terrorizes my cat so i cant 

- i also cant starve myself because i work full time (40 hrs a week which i know may not seem like a lot but its my first time having a full time job) fucking chasing around 2-3 year olds at a daycare (many of which have behavioral problems). most of the people here are not friendly, unhappy and underpaid. i dont make enough to live on my own and 

- because i work with small children i have been sick since i started working in september. i had a sinus infection a few weeks ago (right before christmas) and had to miss 3 days and pay $50 to see urgent care. i am now sick again with a fever but i dont know if its another infection i have to go spend another $50 to find out i hate this job you do so much and no one appreciates it.

- i havent had sex or been in a relationship in 8+ months which is a fucking nightmare for me because ive always been that girl with a long term boyfriend (i know big fucking deal vanessa, no one cares ok but ive been diagnosed with bpd and while im not actively trying to physically hurt/kill myself anymore, i still have symptoms and if you dont know anything about bpd sometimes it makes you seek emotional support from someone because you never really got it growing up) 

- i completely ghosted my therapist and stopped taking all the antidepressants i was on back in may so i dont know what the fuck is going on with my mental health ive just been suppressing everything and have random outbursts at the dentist like a normal person, right? my family is super against medication and keep telling me “its great you got off it, its bad for you and makes you gain weight”

- its been 8 months since i graduated and im not sure how/when im going to graduate school or how/when im going to find another job and people keep asking me about my future and i just have to blindly accept that everythings going to be okay. 

- im at a point in my life where im just so tired of dating and pretending to be interested in someone who has nothing in common with you. like yes looks and attraction are important but i mostly want someone i can genuinely enjoy spending time with. and i thought maybe i had found someone like that through some means other than the internet and my friend decides to be a shady bitch about it and ask him out SOLELY because i told her i was interested (and does this regularly to her other friends but theres nothing i can do about it because you cant change people like that) and he flat out rejects me. while im fucking sick in bed with a fever. not to mention winter is super fucking depressing and seasonal depression is a very real thing but i usually had someone to spend it with. new years was horrible because i was surrounded by couples. NOT TO MENTION the very real fear of never being able to fall in love with someone ever again because the only time ive ever felt real love i was in an abusive relationship that i literally keep coming back to and has ruined all of the relationships after it. 

- ive been feeling shitty since leaving school tbh but ive been trying so hard to distract myself with conventions and making costumes, playing video games, seeing friends whenever i can but now i dont want to see them anymore because of this whole ordeal so. 

- i guess im basically having ANOTHER quarter life crisis because i now have a bachelors degree from an esteemed college and i thought id be somewhere better by now.. and im 22 and i feel like time is running out. there are so many people in their 20s that are either married, with kids, or highly successful doing what they love... 

- finally, ive been switching addresses like crazy and dont have a place to live because my mom rented our house to just genuinely BAD PEOPLE she found on craigslist who have overstayed their welcome for 8+ months and have stopped paying my mom rent and theres nothing she can do about it. so ive been sleeping on a fold out couch for 8+ months at my dads. ive never stayed with him this long and clearly my stepmom doesnt like that because she literally gave us both the silent treatment for FIVE FUCKING MONTHS. and i guess she pitied us or started to feel lonely or sorry because of the holidays and my dad being sick so theyre better now but i am still very angry at her and want to leave as soon as possible. 

i literally had a mental breakdown at the dentist on tuesday. i guess the bottom filling and the huge needle in my face was the last straw (i have a bad fear of needles, ive had to be pinned down before at the doctors and cry almost every time im confronted with them). i couldnt stop crying but i went through with it and now ive had a fever since then so idk man. to take the edge off i started a free trial for netflix and started watching black mirror after watching a couple of eps at a friends house but no one said there were a lot of potentially triggering things in the show such as self harm and suicide so :-) ive stopped watching cus ive found myself having thoughts but yeah i love being rejected woooo its probably because im fat now gr8 i love it

#my life sucks #dont read this for your sake friends #tw suicide #tw self harm #dw im fine just dont want to trigger anyone else #tw weight