#this sucks so bad oh my god no way i am posting directly on main AJJQAHJQAHQJAHq

[tendermen-llc]

hi.

#this sucks so bad oh my god no way i am posting directly on main AJJQAHJQAHQJAHq #i refuse to put it in the main tag also FUCK #tendermen #i laughed so hard i started crying it isnt even that funny but STILL #doodles 🌩 #okay just one #taz grad #there #weed tw

[playlistmusings]

I had him right there where I wanted him

3,252 words

Jude Duarte x Cardan Greenbriar

read on ao3

A very big thanks to @yourlocalautisticoverlord for giving me the prompt: Knife Wife Jude teaches Cardan basic self defense (he is very bad at it).

Jude is bored and wants someone to spar with. The only thing stopping her from having a sparring partner is that, Cardan sucks at fighting. Luckily, Jude doesn't mind teaching her husband how to defend himself and Cardan doesn't mind the way Jude teaches him.

-----

Ambiguous time period, could be set during a slightly AU TWK if Cardan and Jude had their shit together and Jude wasn’t exiled or post TQoN with pretty much no changes to canon.

-----

Cardan felt oddly at peace in the training room of the Court of Shadows. He knew he probably shouldn’t, after all he was surrounded by more weapons than he could count and some of the most gifted and terrifying warriors and spies he’d ever met. But one of those warriors was his wife and everyone else had, at one point or another, actively worked to keep alive and on the throne, so perhaps the peace was justified. So, he sat in a chair off to the side, pieces of parchment in his hands that he read through whilst desperately trying to ignore the group of spies that was taking turns sparring each other. He was just flipping a letter over to read the back—because reports on crop growth were so interesting—when a knife flew past his face and thudded in the wall. Ripped from his thoughts, Cardan looked up and towards the person who threw the knife—of course it was Jude, who else would risk even nicking the High King? —and gave her a sardonic glare, daring her to let a second knife already held between her fingers go flying.

“Come on, Cardan! At least try to spar with us!” Her voice rang out as she grinned at him, as if all it took for Cardan to give up was a taunt and a smile (which, to be fair to Jude, usually that was all it took).

“I have important work to do, you know, as High King of Elfhame I actually have to do things.” He held her gaze, shifting from a glare to a equally sarcastic smile, the type of smile that usually made her jut out her chin and glare at him—the smile that usually followed some offhand comment meant to rile her up and preceded Jude muttering something about how insufferable or intolerable or in- something Cardan was before she crashed her lips into his. But here, in the training room, surrounded by people, Cardan was pretty certain she wouldn’t do anything—after all she always seemed off when publicly showing affection. And if they only kissed or hugged when they were alone, it didn’t really bother Cardan, if anything it made moments like these, where he could taunt her like he did back when they were in school—minus the part where she thought he was genuinely trying to kill or main her—all the more fun. So, as Jude glared, obviously trying to come up with some clever retort, Cardan’s smile softened, turning genuine for only a second before he forced himself to focus on the papers sitting in his lap.

“Ah, yes, High King Cardan has to focus on his work, because he’s so important, and does nothing but focus on work…” Jude muttered half formed insults under her breath while walking to rip her knife from the wall. And if someone saw Cardan smiled wider when he heard her, then he would claim that he was just happy that Elfhame was having a good farming season and it had nothing to do with his wife.

-----

Jude was exhausted. The good kind of exhausted, though, where you could feel your muscles work through every movement, growing stronger as you pushed them. Yet, all of her sparring partners were apparently too exhausted to continue training. One by one, over the course of an hour or so everyone had made their way out of the room, first it was the Roach claiming he had somewhere to be, then it was the Bomb claiming she had a meeting with someone— acting like no one knew that someone was the Roach—and then, all too quickly, it was only Cardan and Jude in the room. This would have been a welcome change, if Cardan weren’t more focused on those God damn papers than Jude. She had been trying to get him out of that chair for hours, taunting him and “accidentally” losing grip of her weapons and strategically letting them fly past his head in an attempt to break his focus on his work and look up at her instead.

So now she stood in the middle of the room, exhausted and exasperated, trying to think of some way she could get Cardan’s attention. At this point it was less about the way he seemed to have a stick up his ass and wouldn’t interact with anyone else, or her wanting her husband to pay attention to her, or anything like that, Jude was filled with determination and spite, if he would work so hard to not pay attention to her then she would refuse to let him do anything other than focus on her.

She pulled her arm back before swinging it forward, letting the thin throwing knife slip out of her fingers and spin through the air past Cardan’s ear and into the wall behind him, it was the second time she had done this today, but luckily that didn’t mean it surprised Cardan any less. His eyes snapped up to hers before wandering around the room briefly, as if just noticing that they were alone in the training room. His gaze latched onto hers right as she started stalking towards him, Nightfell swinging in one hand, a random dagger in the other.

“What are you up to?” His voice was uneasy, but just barely, his discomfort hiding in the waver his voice had as he ended his question—he was trying to hide his discomfort in the way that only Jude could see through.

She kept walking toward him, stopping an arms-length away before holding the dagger out to him, “Take it.”

Cardan looked at her face, as if searching for a reason for her actions, before gingerly taking the dagger from her left hand.

-----

Cardan held the dagger in his right hand, feeling its weight, trying not to slice a finger on the blade. Jude was certainly up to something, he couldn’t figure out what quite yet, perhaps she was going to make him spar her or perhaps she had snapped and was going to kill him here in the Court of Shadows, tucked away where only a select few people could find his body. However, while Cardan was left wondering what was going to happen, he was pretty certain it was happening because he had been very purposefully ignoring her all afternoon.

“Stand up.” Her chin was jutting out again, and Cardan could see her jaw clench as he took a few seconds before sighing and setting the parchments on the floor and standing, making a show of every action he made.

“So, now are you going to tell me what’s happening?” Something in Jude seemed to momentarily soften as he looked her in the eye plainly, with no pretense or sarcasm, just searching for an answer in her face.

“I’m bored and you’re here and I’m going to spar you,” Her voice made it clear that even if he wanted to ignore her, she wouldn’t make it easy for him.

“Well, my Queen, that would be a wonderful idea if I were a partner worth sparring.” Cardan thought back to days spent attempting to refine what few combat skills he had, forcing himself out of his memories before they could go down a dark path consumed by Balekin’s taunts and servants whipping his back.

“Then, I don’t know, I’ll…” Jude turned on her heel, exasperation coloring her voice as it faded off, “I’ll just have to teach you. I know you can fight a little, so I’ll teach you, I mean it makes sense for you to at least be able to try to protect yourself.”

Cardan once again forced his thoughts away from other lessons he’d been forced into, knowing that he couldn’t hide the discomfort Jude’s words brought on.

“Oh, I don’t mean to—I won’t make you, if you don’t want to, it’s fine, I forgot about all that. It’s okay, Cardan, I’m fine,” Jude stuttered her apology as her mind drifted to the time she hid under a table in Balekin’s house.

Cardan’s heart softened, the realization that despite all of Jude’s rough edges, she’d do anything before hurting someone she loved sunk in as he said words he didn’t know if he’d regret, “No, it’s fine, let’s do this. Teach me to fight, your Majesty.”

-----

Jude nodded, still feeling guilty for forgetting why Cardan didn’t enjoy endless sparring sessions like she did. She quickly pushed those thoughts to the back of her mind, trying to take Cardan’s reassurance, after all he couldn’t lie to her even if he wanted to, so it had to be fine, right?

“Okay, let’s start with defensive positions, then.” Jude approached Cardan, loosely holding Nightfell in her hand before swinging directly towards Cardan’s side, stopping inches away from his arm that did nothing but flinch. Dear God, he really has no self-preservation, no wonder he always got into messes. Jude groaned a little before looking at Cardan and asking, “So, in that scenario do you really just want to lose an arm?”

He shook his head, “Obviously not, but what am I supposed to do? You have a whole sword and I have, what? A tiny knife?”

“You could at least try to block me. Like, here, like this.” Jude moved towards Cardan and lifted his harm and hand to make a motion so that his dagger would intercept the path of her blade. And so, it went on like that, for what felt like years. Jude slowly showing Cardan a motion, working with him until he could do it cleanly, eventually moving on from defensive maneuvers to offensive jabs and slashes. It was progress, however clumsy and unpracticed his movements were, at least it was progress. Jude kept telling herself it was unreasonable to expect Cardan to perfect anything she showed him but something in her ached for him to understand faster, to understand more.

-----

Cardan had been trying to execute the same movement for about fifteen minutes now. Jude kept claiming he was going wrong when he did something wrong with his wrist, right there after you reach out, but he still had no clue as to fix it. And while Cardan could see the merit in knowing how to defend oneself, he did have an entire legion of knights whose sole job was defending him, so he didn’t have to and on top of that he had a wife who was more than happy to ride off into battles for him, so there was really nearly no scenario he’d need to know any of this stuff. The last time he could even think of getting attacked was when Jude held a knife to his throat in Dain’s study—which to be honest, he didn’t exactly mind repeating that event. But alas, despite all the repetition and scolding and sweat, Cardan loved seeing the way Jude’s face lit up whenever he mastered a movement or successfully blocked an attack. Something about Jude just seemed right when she fought, like this was what she was meant to do. Her eyes had a fire in them, and her body moved with a practiced ease that Cardan was only now noticing, when for once he could focus on her and her movements without a threat looming over every action. It was intoxicating, seeing someone so in their element, seeing Jude so clearly doing exactly what she was trained to do, exactly what she loved. Even now, when she wasn’t doing anything other than glaring at his arm—as if that was the solution to his problem—there was something in her that made it clear that she wasn’t actually mad or upset, she was purely focused and full of intent.

Cardan made the same movement for possibly the hundredth time, which elicited a drawn out and dramatic groan from Jude as she threw her head back in exasperation, “I keep telling you, not that, you need to—” Jude groaned again before stepping behind Cardan and reaching around his body to grab his wrist, “You need to do this.” Cardan felt sparks erupt across his skin as her breath hit the back of his neck, trying desperately to focus on the way her hand twisted his wrist and pushed out his arm and not on the way he could feel a ghost of her lips right above his shirt or the way his tail was flicking back and forth, wanting to reach out and around one of her legs, trapping her against him.

After a few repetitions, Jude stepping back, and Cardan didn’t know whether to thank her or beg her to come back. He tried the movement again and this time he thought Jude was going to kill him with the glare she shot at his hand. He tried to shrug, and she groaned again.

“Perhaps this is a signal that we should stop?” Cardan offered, hoping that Jude would take him up on his offer and he could stop pretending like he even knew what scenario he would need use this movement in.

“Perhaps.” Jude echoed, looking lost in her thoughts, no doubt still trying to think of some way she could help fix his issue.

Cardan walked over to a table and placed the dagger he had been using next to a variety of other knives before he was interrupted.

“You know what? No. That’s not happening. I taught you all of this so that we could spar, so before we’re done, we’re going to spar.”

As Cardan turned to face Jude, readying some response about that being unnecessary and there always being tomorrow, he was faced with a fearsome sight, Jude standing just behind him, Nightfell drawn and a blaze in her eyes. His throat bobbed as he reached to pick up the dagger just in time for Jude to make her first strike.

Cardan didn’t know how he blocked it, his arm instinctively reaching out while his wrist twisted so he could stop her blade from slicing his side.

“Of course, now you get it,” Jude’s voice filled the training room as she stepped back, so that they could spar in the middle of the room.

As soon as Cardan reached Jude, he knew he made a mistake. She was relentless, all offense and power and grace, and it felt like all he could do was struggle to hold onto his dagger and hope he wouldn’t get cut.

She swung her sword around in mesmerizing arcs before reaching out to continue her attack, stepping towards Cardan so she could push him away from the center of the room. Cardan knew he should lash out, at the very least he should find a way to move away from exactly where Jude wanted him to be, but he couldn’t find any openings. She was unstoppable, a force of nature pushing against him and forcing him to use every ounce of training he had just to stay in one piece.

As soon as Cardan felt one of his feet hit the wall behind him, he knew he was done for. He was trapped and definitely the worse swordsman—knifeman? —and he knew he couldn’t get out of the reach of Nighfell or block Jude’s attacks forever. Jude’s eyes lit up when she saw Cardan freeze, using the opportunity to let her sword clatter to the floor, take Cardan’s dagger from his hand, and push him against the wall, holding the knife to his throat, all in one maneuver.

Cardan breathed heavily, looking into Jude’s eyes hoping she understood this was him surrendering.

“Come on Cardan, how do you ever expect to win a real fight if you can’t even stop me from unarming you?” Jude’s voice was a little breathless, despite the lack of sweat on her body and the steady heartbeat Cardan could feel through her chest and she pinned him to the wall.

He grinned.

-----

Jude suddenly felt unsure of her victory. Yes, she had a weapon poised in the perfect position for a killing move. Yes, she had him trapped. Yes, she had the upper hand.

But then his hands were on her waist and he gave her one of his stupid smiles, the one that she didn’t know how to respond to, and he whispered, “Come on, love, we both know I’m already winning in this situation.”

Jude forced herself to keep her grip on the dagger, but she knew he could feel her pulse stutter then speed up, and suddenly she didn’t know whether to curse or thank her past self for deciding the best way to beat Cardan was to use her body to trap him against the wall. It felt oddly reminiscent of their first kiss, where she thought she had him exactly where she wanted him, but then he somehow gained all the control. As his hands pulled her even closer—she didn’t even realize that was possible—she resigned herself to losing just this once and let her hand fall down to her side and the dagger slip from her grip.

His lips were on her jaw first, making her head fall back with a groan as he worked his way down her throat. Jude felt a little stupid for letting herself give into Cardan’s charms so easily—was that really all it took? A cocky comment and a touch? –but quickly pushed thoughts of stupidity and regret out of her mind as he took her face in his hands so he could crash their lips together. It was a breathless mess of teeth and lips and tongue, as their hands pulled on each other, trying to get closer, closer. Jude felt like she was making up for that first kiss, where Cardan was drunk, and she was confused, and everything was hiding behind too many falsities and lies to even begin to unravel the truth about either of their feelings. But now—when she had Cardan in her arms and her feelings sorted and a ring on her finger—she felt like this was what that first kiss could have felt like, in some different life where things weren’t as complicated.

All the thoughts of the past were quickly shut out as Cardan flipped them around, so that Jude’s back was against the wall, and lifted her up so that he could kiss her deeper. Jude felt lost in him, she knew she must be doing something, after all Cardan was gasping into her mouth, but she couldn’t take her focus away from Cardan and his hands and his lips long enough to even think about where her hands were. As Cardan pulled his lips from hers, leaving Jude making a rather undignified noise in the back of her throat—a noise she would most definitely deny making if asked about it at a later date—he panted and held a finger to her lips.

“Jude.” Cardan’s voice was rough and low. “Jude, I think someone is coming in.”

As soon as he said the words, Jude could hear voices and nearing steps through the door. She groaned, letting her face fall onto Cardan’s shoulder before unwrapping her legs from around him and walking back to where she had dropped Nightfell. As the door opened to reveal the Bomb and the Roach, Jude turned back to Cardan who had just barely reached the dagger he had been using all afternoon, she grinned dangerously before asking, “Want to spar again?”

#the folk of the air #tfota #tfota fanfic #the folk of the air fanfic #fanfic #fanfiction #ao3 fanfic #jurdan #jude x cardan #high queen jude #the cruel prince #the wicked king #the queen of nothing #fluff #jurdan fluff #cardan greenbriar #ask

[sincerelyravens]

the things i love about wtfock season 5 without seeing og season 4: catch-up addition because i was busy yesterday

dinsdag 08:27:

I've seen the post about a white guy putting up his hood as yasmina is about to take off her hijab and I'm just so sad—

fuck this law, I'm so fucking glad that they're touching on this.

yasmina looking at the other girls but also looking into the camera breaks my heart

seeing the shift in yasmina as she's taking off her hijab is brilliant and beautiful and so heartbreaking (see wtfock, this is what happens when you have a main that can—)

the boy squad!! (and no one elseeeee)

luca calling out amber on copying people (and really seeing more of luca. i want to know more of luca)

yasmina sounds so upset that aaron got into a fight with elias as she should be good for her.

amber calling over aaron and then going over to him lol. love that for her. call out your boyfriend for his idiotic takes girl GET IT.

also i really like the songs at the beginning and end of this clip. i knew i was going to love this soundtrack but oh my god (i got a lot to live up to with noor's season i guess too bad I'm shitty with picking music sorry guys)

dinsdag 12:21:

LAWYER YASMINA.

"Yasmina, you were meant to be a lawyer." YES ZOË TELL HER. "If you want this, you should go for it." YESSS.

but i also understand why yasmina is unsure. it would suck for the one place that she KNOWS and works her ass off for so the government can take away her choice to wear a hijab. fuck the law and the people who think it's a good idea.

but it happening in Brussels definitely makes sense why Yasmina is thinking about this.

yo, i would love for yasmina to become a politician (i am american, i obv don't know how belgium government works) and fight to take down the laws that tell her that she can't wear a hijab at school or as a lawyer. or fight against those laws as a lawyer. sue the country. do itttt.

also, love that they're giving all the ignorance to kato instead of amber. it's totally in character. also i love yasmina just looking done and exchanging a look with luca. need more of their friendship pls.

oh great aaron, fantastic. i love you bro. but you fucked the fuck up.

oh Aaron knows he fucked up, he's trying to get away from them so they don't overhear. boy just SAY it.

omfg i love this confrontation with aaron. he's trying to beat around the bush and not say the fact that he just assumed that he thought elias had weed and yasmina's having zero shit about it. get him baby girl. GET HIM.

"amber will kill me." bro, apologize because you're genuinely sorry and you seem like you are but don't use it as an excuse for why you're apologizing. you know you fucked up and it's okay to apologize in that regard, but saying "amber will kill me" only makes it seem like you're doing it because she told you to. not because you're genuinely sorry.

i better see this boy apologize TO elias by the end of this season or I'm going to riot.

"that boy is lucky it's ramdan"

zoë leaning against yasmina mY LOVES

dinsdag 17:08:

okay so I've already seen this one but not with the translation so to I'm going to get this out of the way now YOUNESSSSSSSS

ngl i originally thought the text was from yasmina/elias not younes/elias so ooops.

i love that elias said the same thing that yasmina says in the previous clip about how aaron should give his apologizes to elias directly.

seriously tho

love this sibling dynamic it's *chef's kiss*

ooop not done YOUNESSSSSSSSSSSSSSS

subtle, yasmina, subtle

younes looking at yasmina when she's not looking

younes asking her to join and yasmina looking like she's going to accept or say maybe before elias calls him over and he just says "next time"

I'm ready for the scene between them where they play basketball. I've seen enough gifs to know that it's a thing okay.

yasmina just looks so smitten already I'm just AHHHH

omg the SOUNDTRACK

woensdag 08:28

yess a whole day and a minute apart but now yasmina has a crushhhhhhh

why is kato wearing purple get OUT of my color

I've already made my whole ass rant about how i hate that yasmina gets excluded from things so often and yeah, we'll continue on. though i am glad that kato mentions that whatever "it" is starts after sunset.

i love that they're going gender-neutral names with the people luca is seeing because she seems to have that bi/pan feel (whichever label she decides to choose) but i definitely hope that they'll speak more about it as the season goes on especially since yasmina is going to have feelings for younes and that's going to come to a head. they should do better, of course, but it just feels like a hint right now that MIGHT come up later?

either way she's still getting a girlfriend at some point in my noor season

luca getting very philosophical on a woensdag morning

the way you can just see the moment she starts thinking of younes

you can just see it in her eyes and how she drifts off as britt/amber come over.

and then luca walks away and she just stays zoned out until she realizes they've left and then she follows after.

oh my god guys, I've been loving this season so far. wtfock pls give me a good season again. this feels like wtfock again.

#wtfock #s05e01 takes #brennarambles #i have an older brother who isn't in my life anymore #and i'm living through elias/yasmina because we never had a good relationship #long post

[uhhhhyandere]

I love, love, love you ❤️ I was hoping I could request where the main character begs for Yandere Light to let her get a doggo bc she’s so lonely since he made her quit a job. Like full on having a full ass fit. I’m talking full blown brat shit. Just how he would react and what she would have to do to convince him if you catch that drift 😏😉

yeah, i know what i said in my last post. whatever. never believe anything that comes out of my stupid mouth i am the single biggest sob in the universe. 

um… i took this in a… direction to say the least. someone has to stop me from riding suck n’ ride smut bc… it always goes like this. 

next light smut there is going to be ass-eating or i swear to god my name isn’t kerry literally all im thinking about is giving him a rimjob. really. this is where we are at folks. 

warnings: smut, face fucking (oops), dick sucking, sex, rough sex. he not happy boi

word count: 3.5k 

All you did was watch dog videos anymore. Of course, you watched them because you literally had little else to do during the day, but you just… happened to be more open about it when Light came through the door. Did it have anything to do with the fact you’ve been thinking about getting a furry friend to keep you company from the silence of an empty house and the dark recesses of your mind?

No, of course not. It had nothing at all to do with it, and it certainly had nothing to do with the fact that if you ask him directly, he would say no before any more words could breach the air. You would have to be creative, because when Light said “no,” there was no more argument, and you wanted this argument.

“A Pug. Wow. Beautiful.”

“Look, it’s a—it’s a Corgi. Oh my—wow. That’s amazing.”

You’d play around with different sizes.

“This Mastiff? This gentle giant? Can do nothing wrong.”

“This Bichon matches with the snow!”

And you’d talk about listings you just happened to see online from the local shelters.

“This one—wow. All of her shots. She looks so nice. Oh, and potty trained! What a girl. Damn.”

“He’s sitting down—oh a paw. I see a paw. Can he do the other paw? Oh, yes he can. Also has all his shots. Wonderful.”

Considering the man you lived with, you were pretty positive that he figured out your intentions day one or day two max. It’s been about a week since you’ve been… outgoing in your interest. At this point, it was a game as to who would break first. You bet he was waiting for you to get annoyed with his ignoring of anything you said related to the subject with how blatant he was with shirking you off, forcing you to simply ask.

You weren’t going to make it so easy on him. Though he happened to be the king of hiding his emotions, you knew you had to be getting to him. Light would never admit it, and he would certainly never show it. He wanted to keep that satisfaction as far away from you as possible.

So, you turned up the heat.

Before, you would break off the dog topic after a time, wanting to etch it in your daily schedule only bits at a time. Now? It’s the only thing you talk about, no matter the actual subject at hand.

“There’s another event we have to—.”

“The animal shelter is having an event in the park next week for adoptions.”

“I’m going to have to go for groceries soon.”

“Look at this weenie dog dressed in a weenie costume.”

“I—.”

“Doggo cute.”

It was only a matter of time until—.

“This French Bulldog is—.”

“Y/N.” His voice was clear, demanding. Even after all this time, like a teacher scolding elementary students, it immediately brought you to silence. You sat on your shared bed, legs crossed, as he leered down at you from the bathroom. “I would say it was cute at first, but you know it’s a waste of time to try asking anything indirectly. As if I would succumb to your manipulation, but I let you carry on. You would get bored. You would stop and think and realize that it was pointless to keep it up, but you persisted. I thought to myself maybe you were just trying to see if I would crack and give you the satisfaction of indulging in your antics, and I was right.

“It begs the question. Why didn’t you just ask directly? Easy. Because I would say no, and you would be correct. To allow something else besides me your devotion? Not likely. But what? Did you think showing me videos of Shibu Inus and Pomeranians would make me want one first? You have the logic of a six-year-old, Y/N,” Light began to unbutton his shirt, “Did you honestly think it would work? Or did you simply want to get a rise out of me?” He removed the shirt entirely, then lifted his undershirt over his head just as easily. Light tossed the fabric into the hamper, leaving a pale, lithe abdomen on display. He turned to fully face you and took two easy steps forward. “Why would you want one in the first place? Have I not given my fiancée enough attention recently? Is this your way of getting back at me, hm?”

You were almost at an even height to his belt buckle, but you did your best to ignore that as his eyes demanded attention upwards. His gaze was near malicious, but not quite so. Ah. Lascivious. That’s what they were. You swallowed the knot out of your throat.

“Y-you wish.”

“Your hesitation is very resounding. Then, if you’re so sure, indulge me. Don’t tell me you wanted a distraction from your loving husband-to-be. I know you didn’t want something else to focus on besides me when I’m away at work, so tell me. Tell me why you desired a filthy, shedding ball of fur. Your answer may earn you some mercy.”

You unfolded your legs from underneath you as your foot began to numb under the weight of your leg. Your hands glided back and forth on your thighs. Was there a point in lying? No, scratch that. Was there a point in lying to someone who already knew the truth? Well, his own truth that Light would undoubtedly make yours. There was little purpose in making it worse on yourself.

“No, you’re—uh—right.” Light set his hands on his hips.

“Oh?”

“Yeah, I’m just… lonely when you’re at work. So… yeah.” You risked a peek upwards. Oh, geez the smirk on that fucker. “I’m sorry.” His arms rose from his hips to cross over his chest.

“For?”

“Huh?”

“What are you sorry for? Annoying me for days with your drivel? Wanting a mutt? Lying?” You furrowed your brows. “Oh, that one confused you, hm? Alright, well, if you won’t admit it, I can do it for you. Lonely-“ he scoffed- “You can’t be serious. Such a blatant lie from your lips. The second time you are insulting my intelligence. I’ll ask one more time. Where does your motivation lie?”

“I’m not lying!” You hissed, jumping off the mattress to stand. “What—just what am I supposed to do all day cooped up in this place like a goddamned prisoner? Clean? The place is clean. Cook? As if you’d even let me try. Watch TV? My brain is rotting. You don’t even let me help kids with math anymore online. Just what am I to do? Next thing I may just throw myself out the window—,” Hands gripped your shoulders, causing a slight pain at the intensity.

“You think I’d let you? I expect you to stay here and be good and thankful that you are where you are. I, just as much as you, know—knew women who died to be in your shoes, and you’re ungrateful to be alive and safe? You want more?” You tried to shrug out of his grip, and he allowed you to take the steps away from him.

“I’m asking to be a human being, for fuck’s sake! I’m going to sit here and go crazy. Isn’t it enough that I don’t fuck with the rules anymore? I’m quiet. I don’t say anything. I put every façade you ask me to. All I want is something for me! Something to distract me from literally going insane here! To distract me from everything.”

 Light’s eyes sometimes spoke more truth than his mouth ever could. Right about now, the browns were all-consuming, aflame with ire, but his lips were upturned in a challenge.

“A distraction. Caught in a lie, Y/N. Bad form, even for you. After all this time, you still can’t face reality, dearest. I knew you’ve been pitting your mind in some gutter you call the truth. Makes this all easier to accept, but to go to the physical extent? I won’t allow it, and you won’t be able to recess your mind for long, so enjoy that pleasure while you can.” He paused, countenance recessing to something more composed. “You love me, don’t you, Y/N?”

“Yes.” There was no hesitation, no lie in that affirmation. It was the easiest of his questions to answer. “I love you.” Light inhaled deeply, chest flexing with the exhale.

“With love comes compromise, correct?” You responded with a glare. His tone was all too insinuating. “So, let’s compromise, yes? I hate arguing with you.” He reached an arm out, hand open. Your eyes glanced between the extended limb and his eyes before cautiously taking it. His hand squeezed and pulled you in tight. Light twisted and adjusted you so when he fell onto the bed, you landed comfortably on his lap. Releasing your hand, he brought his own up to gingerly glide his fingers across your cheek, a trail of bumps in its wake as it curled into your locks. Almost like a lover. Almost.

His fingers seized the strands and pulled, forcing your head back and opening your neck for his mouth to latch. “Then compromise, dearest. Prove to me what you think you deserve.” He spoke against your skin, open-mouth kisses with a hint of teeth between his words. “And I’ll make judgement.” His hand let go of your hair and traced to the back of your skull to slant your lips onto his impatient ones. The other wrapped itself to pull your body closer until he pushed you off with an unexpected force, almost knocking you to the ground.

From the unbalanced position, you watched him adjust his position to lie in the center of the bed, head angled to watch you from the pillows with both his hands as another cushion for his crown. Light smirked, watching you stand straight. “Well, go on. Compromise.” 

Light was never on the bottom. It was non-negotiable. Being anything else was utterly unacceptable for a god. This situation, despite the physical placement of both bodies, was no different. You may be the one crawling on top of him, fiddling with his belt buckle, but he had every bit of this situation in his control. Under his watchful gaze, you removed the strip of leather and threw it across the room.

“You’re going to have to help me here,” you muttered after undoing the fly. Wordlessly, he obliged, allowing you to slip the trousers off of his person. You glanced at his feet. Thank god he took his shoes off already, so he only lied in his boxers.

No, you would never be accustomed to this.

“You always look like it’s your first time,” he remarked. “As if you haven’t seen my cock before. From my recollection, you should be quite familiar with it by now.” You inhaled sharply. “Unless you don’t want to compro—.”

“Shut up,” you hissed, crawling to straddle his legs. “Just be quiet,” you said more quietly. You reached out to rub the only half-erect cock through the fabric. Only small groans were elicited above you. Light was not a noisy one, to say the least. It took your first, painful, terrible experience of deep-throating to even get him to moan fully.

“Do you think teasing is going to get you anywhere?” His voice is always composed during sex, and it really was alarming because… you really couldn’t relate. You glowered, fingers digging under the waistband and pulling. He helped again, lifting so you can get the fabric off. “If you think you’re doing anything fully clothed, I should take a cold shower.”

You made quick work of taking the layers of comfort clothes you had on, off. “You really know how to put on a show,” he deadpanned.

“Shut. Up.” You returned to your position, seeing his cock now fully erect from your previous work. You were sure you were wet, but you ignored it as best you could. You had a feeling you would not be serviced tonight. Before you can even lean down, he spoke again.

“Beg for it. Beg for the honor of sucking my cock. Convince me you deserve it if you believe you are so entitled.” There was not a single physical restriction to keep you from taking it into your mouth, but his words were powerful enough to keep you still. Light was daring you to try and misbehave, and you really couldn’t help the physical reaction his words always do to you.

“Please—,”

“Pathetic. I can have any girl in my bed. I can stick my cock in any person interested, and here you are, an ungrateful brat who wants more. You’re making quite an unremarkable argument for yourself. Perhaps I will take away—.”

“Please, Light. Allow me the honor of sucking your cock, of you fucking my throat. I want the privilege of swallowing your seed. Fuck—please. I’ll do anything.” You leaned down close, but not touching anything. You only lifted your eyes up to his. “Please. I know I’ve been bad. Please, let me make up for it.”

Your words in bed were always forced. He knew you hated dirty talk as much as you did, therefore he always made you speak, always made you confess how much you craved him, wanted him, and whenever you spoke it was hardly ever in lies. Your embarrassment was too prominent in your body language to tell him otherwise.

“Go on, then. Show me.” You licked up his length first, then around the head and back down. “Teasing will get you nowhere,” he repeated. You resisted the urge to roll your eyes and took him in, inch by inch. Light was incredibly average despite his ego. It wasn’t impossible to fit the entire length into your mouth with slow adjustment, but that didn’t mean it was fun. You would continue to work his length, getting more and less intense with your pressure and the speed your head bobbed. Still, there was little reaction from him, not there really never was any mind the grunts you could make out. Your inclinations to keep going, and you did until you pulled back.

“How’s—,” His hand was at the back of your head immediately, forcing your head back down, pushing his cock down your throat, pushing until you could feel his balls against your chin. No hair. He was pristine down there. You convulsed, gagged, choked, but he did not release his grip. Hand keeping its hold, he dragged your head up just a hair enough to thrust upwards. Water began to pool at the waterline of your eyes. You had to relax your throat, or this was going to be just worse.

But it was hard, so hard at the pace he was thrusting at. You squeezed your eyes shut and took it the best you can. Listening to his quiet grunts and groans, you forced your lips to continue covering your teeth, but you could not force your throat to loosen. Drool pooled at both sides of your mouth, carelessly falling into both him and the sheets along with the liquid of your tears. 

“Your throat is so fucking tight. That’s it. Choke on my cock. This is what your dirty mouth deserves.” Your limited experience could be to blame for its restricting. That, or the selfishness of the man whose grip on your hair tightened even more right before he allowed you to breathe once more.

And breath you did. Gasping, reeling for air as drool continued to leak down. From beneath your hair, you looked at Light, his eyes wild and alive with lust. Small heaves from his smiling mouth mixed with your wet and heavy ones. “Do you think you deserved that, dearest?” You finally wiped your mouth and shook the spit from your arm. “You’re lucky I am so generous. Come. For doing such a decent job.” His hands patted his hips. Swollen eyes met his. “Ride me, before I change my mind and fuck you into the mattress.”

Regaining some semblance of control, you moved to straddle his length. “Oh, your pussy is glistening. Did me fucking your throat really do that much to you? You loved to be controlled, don’t you?” You did not answer, shaky hands guiding his cock so you can sink onto it. You groaned at the feeling. “Tell me how good it makes you feel. How only I can make you feel like this.” You bit your lip, sinking down another inch or so.

“God, Light. Your cock feels so good. Only yours can make me feel like this. No one—no man, no woman, no person—can make me feel anything—like—this—fuck!” You sunk down to the hilt before you lifted yourself again, easing yourself up and down his length. “It’s so good—so good.” Light allowed you more time but decided your gentle pace was not enough to soothe him. He roughly grabbed you and flipped your positions.

“Too slow, Y/N. What did I say about teasing?” He brought his hips back and then snapped them into yours. You screamed, and you wondered if the neighbors would call again, but his pace did not relent.

“Light—please. It’s too—too much! It’s too fast. I can’t…” He smiled, a wicked grin over you.

“And you won’t. Don’t you dare think about cumming. I decided you don’t deserve it. This is your compromise. You get to live, marry, and get fucked by me, and only by me, and I will only have eyes for you. You’ll never feel like you need a… distraction again.” You clenched your teeth and pushed your head farther into the pillows. “I feel you clenching onto me. Don’t you dare think about disobeying me.” His thrusts were even, balanced.

“Please, please, please let me cum. It feels too good. You feel too good. I’ll do anything.”

“Then don’t cum.” You threw your hands back and gripped the headboard, feeling it rock in rhythm to his thrusts. They were beginning to become, sloppy, wild, he was close while you were holding back for dear life. “Y/N. You are mine and mine alone. Your body. Your actions. Your mind. I am the only thing you are allowed to think about.” With one final push, his seed released, filling and coating your insides. He rode it out, making sure every drop stayed. He hated to have to wash the sheets after, though your drool stains remained.

Pulling out, he retreated and stood, ignoring your writing, unfulfilled form. “Come. You aren’t going to sleep like—get those hands away from there. Let’s get you clean before you ruin the sheets even more.” Like before, he extended his hand to your heaving form. “Alright, alright, I’ll take care of you, but you need to get cleaned up first.” An unstable hand fit into his own. His gently pulled you to stand and allowed you to lean your weight onto his.

Hot water cascaded down your body. Though Light effortlessly scrubbed washed his hair, you could not bring yourself to match his speed, and by the time he was already done, you hadn’t even washed your body yet. You heard an incomprehensible mutter amidst the running water as he left you alone. He was washing his face as you finally emerged, wrapped in your towel. No romance tonight, you figured. Not that it was any different than any other night. You followed, brushing your teeth, washing your face, and taking your pills while he huddled in bed.

You could only dream of romance anymore. Getting your pajamas on, you approached the empty side of the bed. Before you could get on, Light shifted, opening his arms and staring at you expectantly. You froze. Did… did he want…? “Well, come on.” Ah. Was this supposed to be the ‘I’ll take care of you,’ he mentioned earlier? You supposed he would never wash you in the shower, so this would have to be it. You swallowed and fell into them, feeling his arm wrap you close to him so you lied nearly on your stomach, face buried in the crook between his neck and shoulders. His arm lied around your neck, the other near your elbow on the arm that sprawled on his chest. Oh, hello? What is this?

Ah. This is the quote-on-quote, attention he promised as a fiancé. His eyes remained closed as you stared. How forced was this? You wondered if he hated it, if he saw it was succumbing to your wishes, but it was unlikely. Perhaps it was him showing the physical love outside of sex that you lacked thinking it would keep you from having another outburst as you did before. Him keeping his side of the compromise so you would keep yours.

You allowed yourself to close your eyes before you thought too hard about his actions. The more you thought about it, the more—and less—real it all became, but if he was offering more conventional couple things: cuddling, dates, attention, you would not pose another argument.

“So, no dog?” you whispered.

#yandere light yagami #yandere light yagami x reader #yandere death note #light yagami x reader #reader insert #yandere reader insert #yandere x you #yandere x reader #uh oh spaghettio #tw: yandere #tw yandere

[babyybitchhhwrites]

Endeavor x Reader 18+

Title: Temptation 

Rating:  Explicit/R-18+

Words: 2761

Warnings: phone sex, public masturbation, slight daddy kink

Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25758232

A/N: This is not a new fic. I actually wrote it sometime back in 2017 but I never uploaded it outside of Tumblr. I was only recently able to retrieve it from my previously nuked blog so figured I’d go ahead and post it here. : /

♥♥♥♥

Whether because of his age or due to his stubborn ass personality, Enji was not a big fan of texting. He much preferred to make phone calls or, better yet, speak to someone in person. Try as you might to convince him otherwise, it proved to be a hard habit of his to break. Although you couldn’t really blame him for being so stuck in his ways, not when they’d served him so well over the years, you likewise had your own method of getting things done. Texting was your main source of communication these days and you’d long since accepted that he just wasn’t going to get on board with it anytime soon.

Thats why you were so terribly shocked when your phone buzzed and you glanced down at the screen to see a message from the flame hero himself. This was so unlike him and concern that there was some kind of problem washed over you before you could rationalize it as being something mundane. Fearing the worst, you opened the text only to balk incredulously.

Come to my office.

Surreptitiously glancing up at Best Jeanist, you offered the blonde a reassuring smile when he shot you a questioning look. This was so not the time for Enji to start getting demanding.

I can’t right now. I’m out on patrol with my boss. Maybe later?

You waited expectantly for some kind of response, but it was just dead silence on his end. After about three minutes and your text still unread, you slipped your phone into your pocket with every intention of getting back to work. It went off again not even thirty seconds later and you heaved a tired sigh. Once more fishing out your cellphone, you disinterestedly looked over the new message.

I’ve been thinking about you.

Your eyes bulged before you could catch yourself. Suddenly feeling quite flustered, you quickly glanced around to make sure no one was reading over your shoulder before carefully constructing your reply. No one knew about your relationship with Endeavor and it would have been disastrous if it came out like this. It was a PR nightmare just waiting to happen.

Oh ~? I can’t wait for you to tell me all about it! I’ll be done around 5

This time Enji’s reply came much quicker and you couldn’t stop yourself from smiling at the thought that he was starting to get the hang of it.

I want you now. Not later.

Too bad he was using his new found texting skills to get you all hot and bothered while you were at work and your boss was standing not even five feet away.

You were halfway through typing a firm but gentle reminder that you were a pro too and you couldn’t just drop everything to come blow him under his desk when you got another message from him. Blinking in surprise, your eyebrows shot up when you realized that he’d sent you a picture. You didn’t even really give it much thought as you clicked on it, and suddenly your screen was filled with … the front of Enji’s hero costume. The crotch to be exact. And boy, was he hard.

Blushing like a school girl, you hurriedly tapped the picture away. Another text was waiting for you.

See what you do to me?

You gasped for air, swinging your head up to find Best Jeanist approaching you. Panic was quick to set in but, thinking fast, you rushed to say that you were going to use the restroom and without even waiting for a answer, you took off in the opposite direction. It was suspicious. It was incredibly suspicious, your behavior. He’d no doubt ask what that had been all about when you returned and you sure hoped he bought whatever petty excuse you managed to come up with before then.

Halfway down the block, there was a fast food restaurant which is where you decided to slip into. You refused to meet any of the employees eyes as you made a bee line for the bathroom where you promptly locked yourself into one of the stalls. Gripping your phone in a white knuckled grip, you jabbed at the screen rather aggressively and brought it up to your ear. Enji answered on the first ring.

“I’m so glad that you’re finally catching up to this century, but you can’t send me stuff like that when I’m at work!” You snapped, almost immediately regretting your choice in words. You were flustered and anxious though, and your panties suddenly felt uncomfortably damp, so you didn’t even try to take it back.

To your surprise, Enji actually had the decency to fall into stunned silence for a brief moment. Then he growled through the receiver and you could practically see his teeth clamping down on that pouty bottom lip of his. “Watch how you speak to me, woman. I wont warn you again.”

That certainly took some of the bite out of your scathing mood. “Look, I’m sorry but …” You tried to reason with him, noticeably calmer. “I’m on patrol with Best Jeanist right now. You can’t ask me to just drop everything like that.”

“I wasn’t asking.”

You choked in disbelief. “W-wha -”

He cut you off with a vehement huff. “Where are you?”

“In a restaurant. In the bathroom.”

“Good.” You caught the sound of rustling on the other end. “I felt like a damn fool taking that picture. This is much better.”

Your gaze darted to the stall door, still locked. “Enji, I can’t -”

“You will.” A tense puff of air filtered through the line, and you were sure he had his straining cock in his hand now. “I’ll even take you out to dinner tonight instead of just breaking you over my desk. Now be a good girl and start playing with yourself.”

Static electricity shot up your spine, making you shudder. A soft moan escaped your parted lips. Enji didn’t miss it, he never did, and he chuckled in satisfaction. The sound alone made goosebumps erupt across your skin and before you realized what you were doing, your free hand had found your breast. It was small and delicate compared to his massive, callous rough palms, but it was so easy to imagine. So easy to dredge up the most recent memory of how it felt when he fondled your tits. Your nipples responded quickly, pebbling against the inside of your bra, just aching for some real attention.

“This is risky …” You murmured, your voice a little lower. Huskier.

Enji snorted. “Maybe for you.”

You flushed red hot at that, swaying on your feet. He was right. You were the only one doing this out in public where anyone could walk in without warning while he was safe in his office. Your breath hitched even as you rushed to unfasten the top of your costume with one hand. It was a struggle, but with jerky motions you finally managed to free yourself and you yanked your bra down under the swell of your chest.

“E-Enjiiii …” You keened into the phone as you pinched your left nipple. Tugged it, gave it a twist. Nothing could compare to his rough ministrations though.

A pleased hum drifted into your ear, followed by a deliberately slow inhale. “Not like that. You know better.”

You screwed your eyes shut and leaned back against the stall door, groaning. “Daddy!”

“Thats it.”

Enji sounded so self satisfied and you could practically envision him reclining into his highbacked leather chair, spreading his legs wide as he languidly stroked his cock with his hand. Maybe he was alternating between showing the head some special attention, slowly rubbing around the slit at the top, or perhaps he was reaching down to give his heavy balls a nice squeeze. God, there were so many possibilities and somehow not knowing exactly what he was doing made your knees go weak.

“I’ve been thinking about that pretty little mouth of yours all day.” He spoke slowly, almost sensually, truly stoking your fire. “I wanted you to come crawl under my desk and suck me off while I work on this mountain of paperwork. Be my little cock warmer.”  

Your vision started to blur. “I want to, daddy. I want your dick in my mouth so bad. I wish it was you touching my nipples right now.”

He groaned, quietly. “Those perfect little tits of yours. Maybe I should have you squeeze them together so I can fuck them instead of your mouth.”

“Why not both?”

He issued a rumbling chuckle. “Smart girl.”

Your nipple was starting to get sore and tender, so you switched over to teasing the other one. “What else do you want to do to me? Please tell me, daddy.”

Enji made a thoughtful sound, as if he were in no rush to hurry this up. He probably wasn’t, in all honesty. “Well, first I want to take you over my knee and give you a nice, hard spanking for talking to me the way you did earlier. You know I don’t tolerate that kind of behavior.”

“And then?” You were quick to prompt him for more. Eager to hear his gruff voice saying filthy, humiliating things directly into your ear. “After you’re done spanking me?”

“Then I think I’ll play with that pretty pink asshole of yours for a while. You know how much I enjoy that.”

Its true. He was rather fond of fingering you after your behind was blistering red and sore. “I like it too …” You whimpered as you tugged on your nipple a little too hard.

“I know you do.” Enji’s voice dropped an octave, taking on a more carnal lilt. More predatory, hungry. “And I’ll force my fingers down your throat when I’m through. Make you clean up your mess. You’re such a messy girl, you know that?”

“Oh, god.” The words forced their way out of your mouth and you abandoned your chest in favor of fumbling with your pants. “I am, I really am, daddy. I’m so sorry.”

He moaned, clearly enjoying the needy desperation in your voice. “Thats what I’m here for. To keep you in check. Are you touching your clit yet?”

Practically tearing your jeans right off, you crumple them around your ankles and drop into a squat right there inside the stall. “Yes, daddy. I’m so wet, god. I wish you were here. I want you to fuck me in this bathroom so bad.”

“Next time. I promise.” His breath catches in his throat and you knew he was stroking himself faster now. “For the time being, I want you to dip those sweet fingers into your cunt and imagine its me stretching you out. Getting you ready to take me.”

“I’m always ready for you.” You practically sob, sending jittery fingertips skirting across your labia. You pause just long enough to smear your arousal, coating yourself with it, before slipping one digit inside your pussy. Its not nearly enough though and you quickly add another. You clench down on yourself tight. “Oh! God … please! I need you. I need you, daddyyyyy.”

Enji scoffs, sounding quite put out even in the heat of the moment. “Stop that whining. If you would’ve just done as I said, I could be fucking you right now.”

You’re so close to wailing in outright distress. “But -”

“No buts!” He barks at you. You were astounded to hear that familiar heat creeping into his voice even in this situation, when he was in the middle of jerking off at his own desk. “You had your chance. These are the consequences. I trust I don’t need to give you a refresher course on what that means?”

“No …” You pout up at the wall, still a little whiny but notably less so.

“Good. Now,” He pauses. Lets the anticipation hang in the air while you continue to thrust your fingers into your body. “I want you to rub your clit. Hard and fast. Do you understand me? I’ll know if you don’t do exactly what I said.”

Sucking in a haggard gulp of air, you pull out of your cunt and focus instead on that tight cluster of nerves with sharp, quick circles. The delicious friction leaves you openly groaning in the public restroom like you’ve forgotten where you are. The threat of being caught seemed like a distant memory though and it was hard to care about reputations or PR when you just felt so achingly good rubbing one out with Enji over the phone. Somehow the thought had never occurred to you before, so the resulting rush was nearly palpable. You could feel it scorching your veins with its intensity.

“Thats it. Such a good girl.” He sounded incredibly hot and heavy all of a sudden. “Who owns that tight cunt? Who does it belong to?”

“You! You do! Its yours, daddy, all yours!”

“I wonder how soaked your panties will be by the time you get to my office.” Enji somehow manages to sound thoughtful, like he’s working out an equation in his head. “Maybe I should tell you not to put them back on when you’re done. That bastard Best Jeansit will probably be able to smell you from a mile way, regardless.”

Trembling under the force of your quickly mounting orgasm, you strain your legs a little further apart. You just couldn’t seem to put enough pressure on your clit, but it wasn’t for lack of trying. “I - I’m close … I’m so close, daddy …”

“Then do it. Come for me, baby.”

You moaned in response, far louder than you should have, and the pace of your hand reached a frenzied speed. Teetering right on the edge, balancing precariously on your heels in a dirty bathroom, you just needed one little nudge.

Its a deep, low grunt from Enji that finally pushes you over the precipice into oblivion. The guttural sound echoes inside your ears for an eternity while you spasm. Throwing your head back with a strangled scream, you slam against the door so hard that the bolt rattles, and you don’t even have the wherewithal to be concerned about someone hearing you anymore. Not while your gushing pussy is on fire, ineffectually contracting around nothing and all you can do is ride it out to completion.

The orgasm is so intense that it leaves you momentarily shaken. Disoriented. Leaning heavily against the door, you almost drop your phone as you slowly stand up on shaky legs. Your pulse is still excited and jumpy but almost immediately you can feel the blissful high of endorphins swarming your body. You feel almost giddy.

“Wow, that was … actually kind of nice. Did you come too?” You ask, sounding out of it and a little loopy. You were sure to be on cloud nine for the rest of the day.

“No.”

The answer is so blunt and to the point that at first you’re not so sure you heard him correctly. “What?”

Enji sighs as more shuffling can be heard in the background and you wonder what he’s doing. “I think I’ll save it for later. That rude mouth of yours needs to be filled up with something, doesn’t it? Be here at five on the dot or don’t bother coming at all. Oh, and don’t put your panties back on. Throw them in the trash for all I care.”

And just like that, the line disconnected.

You stood there, stunned and feeling quite foolish with your pants pooling around your ankles. Twenty six minutes according to the call log. That was an awfully long bathroom break. Jeanist would definitely have some questions for you. But before you worry about that …

Smiling mischievously, you pull up your text log with Enji and open the picture again. The sheer girth of his engorged cock was really straining against the synthetic material of his costume, weighing heavy in the tight confines and leaving a rather mouthwatering outline on display. Overall, it left very little to the imagination and you wished you could make it the background on your phone. Sadly, you knew you couldn’t.

You gave his cock one last, longing look. It must have taken quite a bit of willpower for him to edge himself like that if he was this hard at the start, you mused. This certainly pointed towards an extra fun evening awaiting you when you got off work and your pussy tingled with residual excitement.

You saved the photo anyway, confident that you would still find some use for it.

#hero academia #endeavor #enji todoroki #enji x reader #self insert bullshit

[brandstifter-sys]

Under Pressure

Chapter 5: Emotions                 (Ao3)

Word Count: 1122

Characters: Remus, Roman, Patton, Virgil

Rating: T

Warnings: Villain!Logan, anger, aggression, accidental injury, arguing.

-----

This was a little kid's room. He was not some toddler! He was draped over the bed staring at the toy chest and Lego castle. He wanted to break it, kick it and smash it to pieces. He wanted to body slam the toybox and crush the dolls inside to keep them from smiling at him, mocking him with their button eyes. 

He wanted to destroy so much but he also wanted to cry and cuddle anything or anyone. It was so lonely in this room, the King's old playroom where he liked to nap. This was all too much for Patton. 

He shifted his gaze to the ceiling and tried to find joy in the whimsical mural that hadn't faded with time. It was a castle with a small crowd of people in front of it, all happily crowding around a boy in a purple cape with a crown. The king was so happy with a young Patton and a young Janus hugging him. Tiny Virgil was shyly hanging out a short distance away, and near the castle, a young Logan was smiling at the scene. Patton snarled and grabbed a pillow to throw at the image. 

Janus was supposed to be the deceptive one! It had to have been Janus, but Janus wasn't good at mimicking anyone else! Patton had gone looking for Roman and Virgil. Logan had told him that they were probably struggling with Remus. Logan had told him this was for Thomas' own good before locking him in. 

The memory of the betrayal was enough to make Patton scream. And he screamed at the top of his lungs, flinging himself to his feet. He paced around the small room and pulled at his hair. He let this happen. He let it get so bad because of his stupid naivety! Maybe he was just some dumb kid. 

The dark eyeliner around his bright eyes and the long-sleeve, striped shirt under his black, short-sleeve button-down certainly proved that point. He didn't care that his khakis were tight jeans or that his hair was shaggier and darker. He was too busy trying to manage all his feelings. 

Betrayal

Anger

Sadness

Confusion

Patton hadn't been this much of a mess in twelve or so years! He swore if he spoke his voice would crack and he would break out with the most irritating acne. He would probably start worrying about homework and getting ready for college again, despite being in his early thirties. It was so unfair and he hated it. 

He kicked a soccer ball that was on the floor and huffed, pulling a black cat hoodie from his shoulders and putting it on. Maybe with some music he could break down the door with his fists and rage. 

He pulled his earbuds and phone from his pocket and put on some A Day to Remember—no other band on his phone could capture the betrayal and rage he felt because of a so-called friend. It was perfect.

With a roll of his neck, Patton gauged his target and charged, slamming into the wood with a loud thump. He jumped back and swung his fists, screeching with each perfectly landed punch. It didn't matter if his vision was wet as long as he kept hitting the door. It was cathartic if nothing else. 

The door swung open as he threw another punch. 

"Hngh!" Virgil whined and gingerly rubbed his cheek. Patton had a solid left hook! Patton's arms went limp just after pulling out his earbuds. Virge was in Remus' arms and Roman was emerging from the other side of the door, rubbing his forehead. They looked different but they were still his friends—and Remus who he struggled to find common ground with. 

"You okay, Scare Bear?" Remus asked and gently turned Virgil's head to get a better look at his cheek. That was going to be a nasty bruise! He conjured an ice pack for him and looked to a shocked emo dad. 

"Virgil?!" Patton yelped after a beat of silence, "Oh god are you alright?! I'm sorry I didn't mean to—where did you?—how did you?" 

"We escaped. The loud banging was a fantastic hint as was the door to the face," Roman huffed and adjusted his crown. Patton scowled at him. He didn't push the door and he was not about to be accused. 

"Oh spare me the glare, Padre," Roman huffed, "These things happen and now you're free to make your escape with the two most capable sides and Virgil." 

"What the hell makes you and Remus the most capable?" He questioned and crossed his arms. 

"Pat, we built this place. As the king. We know our way around," Remus cut in, "That's it, no matter what Ro says." He shot Roman a death glare to keep his mouth shut. His Maj-ass-ty was not going to piss off the really scary emo. 

"So I have to go with a poser, a prick, and a perv to be free?" 

"Better to be a poser than a complete burden," Virgil shrugged, "Oh wait I am—" 

"I will physically fight you if you even try to say anything bad about my best friend!" Patton snapped. 

"But you just—" 

"I know!" Patton barked and sighed, "I know and I'm sorry. I'm not used to this and I spoke out of bitterness. You shouldn't have been the target, Virge." 

"Just Virgil?!" Roman gasped, offended. 

"No. I was just talking directly to him. I'm not sure if I want to take back what I said about you and Remus." 

"I am a little perv, Ro-hoe!" Remus teased, "That's why I always put doors in wrong! You're in your underwear and you want to close the door? You have to go in the hallway! And then I might see you!" 

"Don't bullshit me, you put them in wrong so you would have more space in the room!" 

"Yeah you are a prick!" Remus laughed, "Patton is finally being brutally honest!" 

"What's that supposed to mean!?" Patton snapped. Virge let out a whine before the tension built up. He was not emotionally stable enough for this. 

"Let's go get Jay," Remus sighed, "We can trash talk once we're back in the main mindscape." 

"Who made you the leader?" Roman and Patton scoffed at the same time. Remus shrugged, careful not to jostle Virgil too much. 

"Virgil did when he didn't want anyone else carrying him, and I guess I did since I've been the one who escaped and busted you out! But we don't need a leader, we need to get a snake and then the nerd." Remus droned. Virge curled into himself and Patton and Roman ceded. It really sucked that Remus was right.

-------

(Master Post)

#sanders sides #ts under pressure au #roman sanders #remus sanders #patton sanders #virgil sanders #ingenuity!remus #pride!roman #emo(tion)!patton #depression!virgil #dark!logan #villain!logan #arguing tw #accidental injury #aggression tw #anger tw #ask to tag #sandyscribed

[agentsofsupernaturalmarvel]

Full Moon // HSMTMTS

IN WHICH: Reader moved from Beacon HIlls, California to Salt Lake City, Utah following the public described animal attacks. Struggling without your alpha your forced to restrain yourself in your basement, until your secret is revealed to two teens.

Characters: Reader x Ricky Bowen (Future relationship), platonic!reader x platonic!Big red, and Nini Salazar-Roberts (mentioned)

Words: 1.9k

Warnings: Swearing, violence, fluff, angst and mentions of death

A/N: This has been bugging me for weeks to do a crossover with High School Musical: The Musical: The Series and Teen Wolf. I thought I’d get it down to stop the aggravating urge to write it. This is post!season one where Ricky and Nini do not get together so there is a potention future for Ricky and Reader.

YOU CAN REQUEST FROM ME AS WELL!

Masterlist

Junior year honestly sucked for the teenager from the greater population the general area along with the school. You had moved to Utah from California in the middle of summer when life had calmed down in your hometown. During the crises you faced with your friends you had desired for normalcy, once achieving it, life was boring. You looked over your shoulder at everything, and it took ages to get close to someone, thanks to firstly Ms. Blake.

“Hey.” You glanced over your shoulder to see that your chemistry lab partner was standing behind you. You sent a smile to him with a gleam in your eye.

“Hey, Red.” You spoke closing your locker door to give Red your upmost attention focusing on his instead of the sounds that were louder than usual.

Red was the first person you made friends with when you moved and often you were the listening ear for the drama he was forced to endure. His best friend, someone you hadn’t fully met, had dragged him into the mess of what the fall musical had been. The mission didn’t end the way his best friend had wanted, but he made peace with his ex-girlfriend enough to be friends.

“I’m having a movie night with Ash, Ricky and some other kids. Do you want to come over?” Red asked with a hopeful smile. You fully shipped Red with his unofficial girlfriend Ashlyn since you first saw the pining looks.

“I’m not sure.” You half-smiled feeling bad at his falling expression, but what could you do? It was a full moon without the help of your friends. Without your alpha.

Taking it back the main reason it sucked having moved was that you had practically turned into an omega. Not really given that as a werefox your type was more prone to be a lone wolf for lack of a better description.

“Come on! You have to meet Ricky. You would get along so well.” Red pleaded as he bounced on the balls of his feet. You blinked at the excitement in his eyes given he had been unsuccessful in getting you to join them for a mass of reasons.

“It’s just not a good day-“

“One movie? I’ll buy you a smoothie every day for a week.”

Now had you been in the same vicinity of your pack you would have easily said no or been dragged away but not this time. Could be the full moon’s affecting you, but you quickly gave in to Red with little regret. Besides you were confident, you could control yourself with the possible chance of revealing that world.

The rest of the day passed moderately okay with little issues other than growling under your breath as EJ made a stupid comment about Big Red. It had gained you a look of confusion from the water polo player.

That confidence should have been the realization to not go and instead somehow chain yourself in your basement. Which you managed to do with a bunch of trouble, growls burst from your lips. Eyes a vibrant, glowing silver and sharp fangs barred you viciously pulled on your chains.

“Hi Mrs. Y/L/N!” The voice of Big Red spoke following the door to the house opening.

Mrs. Y/L/N had opened the door to see Big Red along with a taller boy with brown curls on his head. Her smile made its appearance as the sight of two teenagers she hoped was helping you transition.

“Red! How are you?”

“I’m okay. Ricky and I were worried about Y/N.” Red spoke, tapping his shoe on the ground in nervous energy, “She didn’t show up at movie night, I’ve called her with no response.”

“She’s downstairs. I’m on my way out at the moment but feel free to hang around.” Mrs. Y/LN spoke, sliding her spring jacket onto her shoulders while stepping into her black sneakers.

Meanwhile downstairs you panted as a leather cuff let out a concerning ripping noise that would have worried Scott and Stiles. The two boys that had called earlier in the day to check up on you despite the issues following the sacrifices they did.

“GO AWAY!” You snarled up the stairs as the basement door opened with a loud creak to your sensitive ears. Ears that had formed into cones with a pointed tip.

Ricky ran directly into his best friend’s back at sight in front of them, the new girl was chained to a wall in the corner was you. The new girl that Ricky had noticed from the moment he saw you talking with Big Red. The new girl that had silver eyes with specks of glowing green, fangs and cat ears. It was something Ricky only saw in films.

“Oh my god. What the hell?” Big Red spluttered flinching as you snarled louder at them, “Are you filming a video?”

“Leave! These are going to break, and I’m going to eat you!” You growled thrashing in the chains to get free. You could hear the blood in their fast-beating hearts, and it frustrated you. You wanted to feel their bones crush in your mouth, “I’m to break your bones with my teeth!”

Ricky and Big Red didn’t really believe it until the distinct snap of a chain made its self-known when you stumbled. The split leather still on your wrists but the chain was hanging off the beam. With fervour, you lunged for the redhead lab partner you had. It was Ricky that grasped your wrists to keep them firm, claws millimetres from his flesh.

“Calm down!” Ricky shouted, stumbling at the strength you displayed. You broke free, and fangs were inches from ripping his throat out when you released a gasp and fell into a slump.

Shaking in fear Big Red gasped dropping the aluminium bat he had found in a storage bin, both boys gulped.

 “What the fuck just happened.” Ricky breathed wiping the bead of blood from where Y/N’s forefinger’s claw had embedded itself. The red was indicating that whatever happening to the girl was real and very much, not in the movies.

“A werewolf?” Big Red emphasized staring at his new friend in shock and confusion, “Am I dreaming? Actually, did I kill her?”

Ricky shrugged bending down to inspect the unconscious girl frowning at the constant buzzing of the phone on the counter. Red recognized it as your phone, but the name was unfamiliar. Taking a change, Red answered the video call nervously.

“Oh, thank god! Thought you lost control and mauled some per -“ The mole speckled teen broke his words as he did not see you but a short redhaired boy. Stiles’ eyes flicked behind the redhead to see a much taller brunette wincing at a small wound on his wrist, “Oh god. SCOTT!”

“What?” A Hispanic teen showed up on the call to stutter as he noticed that Stiles was videoing people he didn’t know, “Hi, I’m Scott. This is Stiles.”

“Ricky and Big Red.” Ricky spoke frowning at the duo, “I’m guessing you know about Y/N’s state? That was real? She’s a werewolf?”

 Stiles pinched the bridge of his nose, “Are you hurt? Where is she?”

Without answering, Ricky tilted the phone to show that the teenage girl was resting unmoving on the ground. The significant rise and fall of her chest, soothing the worries of all the teens conscious.

“Okay. Hopefully, she has been out cold for a while.” Stiles muttered to himself. The duo broke into an explanation and answered the questions Ricky and Red had.

As the clock struck midnight, Ricky and Red had followed the directions Scott and Stiles had given them by chaining the girl back up. Chained tighter and each holding a weapon, they kept their eyes on the girl, tensing as she groaned in pain.

“W-what happened?” You slurred blinking your eyes open; first, you met the nervous gaze of Big Red before Ricky’s look of disbelief.

“Werewolf.” Red muttered, shaking his head, taking in the now human features you had, “Werewolves are real?”

 “Among other things.” You retorted sitting up to rub your head only feeling the moon’s pull a little versus earlier. Your eyes met the scared ones, “The supernatural exists and had you not found me…you wouldn’t know, and I wouldn’t have killed a lot of people. And I’m not a werewolf.”

“Then, what are you?” Ricky questioned this time lowering the bat into a non-threatening position because other than joining the fall musical last semester this is the weirdest shit he found himself in.

“I’m a bitten werefox.” You admitted shifting to sit crisscross on the ground in front of the couch. Each boy raised a simple eyebrow, “Okay, it all started the sophomore year with my best friends Stiles and Scott.”

One Year Ago

You hummed a tune running a hand along the spines of the books you had read; you had spent the last hour reorganizing them. You split them into firstly two main categories of what you had read and haven’t read just yet. Within those categories, you had decided to organize by series and author names. It brought a sense of euphoria to see the newly bookshelf set up and correctly done.

You turned on your heel to grab a clean pair of pyjamas, consisting of shorts and t-shirt to wear after a shower. It was getting late, and with school tomorrow it was a big day as one of your best friends Scott was adamant he would make first-line despite his severe asthma. That and you had a meeting with your history project partners to nail down ideas.

Your plan was disrupted when a knock on your door sounded and just by the kind and volume you knew immediately who it was. Opening the bedroom door, you saw that Stiles was standing there with a goofy smile as usual.

“Oh, god. What you want now.” You questioned just because that smile was usual the prerequisite before trouble.

“So, wanna go for a hike?” Stiles questioned, crossing his arms over his chest. Your eyebrows raised in response to his question.

“You wanna hike in the woods at ten o’clock at night? What’s the real reason.”

“My Dad is out, and we’re going to find a dead body!” Stiles exclaimed with a sizeable infectious grin that easily swayed you more than you liked to admit.

“Seriously? Why can’t you take Scott.”

“We are. Scott's in the jeep.” Stiles chuckled, shaking his head, “Do you really think I would leave him out of the fun?”

Of course, he thought dead body hunting was a fun hobby to do. 

That night changed everything. It set you on a path of violence just because Peter Hale decided to finally enact his revenge for the fire that placed him in the hospital unable to move but cognizant. He bit Scott and later just before Jackson and Stiles threw Molotov cocktails lighting him on fire, he kidnapped you and bit you at the Hale house.

In the present, you explained the months after Scott was bitten, including being hunted in the high school at night. Even up to a human-sized lizard killing under the orders of its master. Lastly, you described living through the hell of a Darach sacrificing people left, right and centre to defeat a murderous Alpha pack.

“Am I high?” Ricky questioned blinking at every word that fell out of the pretty girl’s lips, lips that had been barred revealing sharp fangs.

“You wish.” You snorted at the teenage boys, each sinking into the realization that what they had believed to be entertainment was very much real. Now they wondered if anyone they knew were part of that world, “You have to keep this quiet.”

Big Red and Ricky both nodded thus creating a trio similar to what it had been with Scott and Stiles. Hopefully with these two you wouldn’t have a similar history as you did with the supernatural in Beacon Hills.

ASK TO BE TAGGED!

SEND IN REQUESTS!

I can make a part 2 if wanted as well!

#hsmtmts #teen wolf #ricky bowen #big red #stiles stilinski #scott mccall #hsmtmts imagines #high school musical: the musical: the series #werewolves #darach #teen wolf imagines #ricky bowen imagines

[ultrafangirlishness]

Alone on Christmas (Part 3)

Fandom: Sanders Sides

Synopsis: Deceit hates Christmas, especially now that it’s without Virgil— his first Christmas alone. Or so he thought.

Word count: 3,223

Pairings: None romantic, all platonic

Warnings: slight Deceit angst (some anxious and insecure thoughts), sympathetic Deceit, minor arguing/tension, Christmas themes, lots of fluff, fluff ending

A/N: Hey everyone, this is my FIRST FIC EVER, inspired by this post by @max-the-queer. I had a lot of fun with this and am excited to present this totally self-indulgent fic. Unfortunately I forgot about Tumblr’s textbox limit, so I had to split it up. Feedback is welcome and greatly appreciated! (Also note this is pre-Remus). Happy Holidays, everyone!

Other parts here: 1 | 2 | 3

Special thanks to @sparkleydoggy-main​ for editing.

——————————————————————

Deceit was outfitted in a thick black coat, his new yellow scarf, and his regular old gloves and hat. He had to admit it wasn’t a bad look, and it was much warmer than just his cape. The five of them finally exited the warmth and safety of Patton’s house, and Deceit was surprised to feel as though being outside in the winter wasn’t going to suck the life force out of him. Aside from the exposed skin and scales on his face, he actually felt quite warm. Logan had been right. Without having to focus on the blinding cold, snow really was beautiful.

The snow was still falling, but only in tiny specks now. The group was spread out around the lawn, bundled up in various winter attire. Logan and Patton were out on the empty snowy street, admiring all the shops and houses covered in fresh snow and Christmas lights. Roman was off to the side of the yard, making what looked like the start of a snowman. Virgil remained on the door-step in silence, taking everything in.

The sight of it all amazed Deceit. Everyone seemed so… at peace. He couldn’t remember the last time he felt so content; not bitter and angry at the world. Not just surviving, but living.

He began wandering across the yard, simply enjoying the scene laid out before him. Just as he was about to reach the area where Roman was working, Deceit felt a cold chunk of snow shatter against the back of his collar. He turned around to see a mortified Virgil—his mouth hanging open and eyes wide in terror.

“Oh my god, I am so sorry!” he sputtered out, “that was meant for Princey!”

The irritation Deceit had initially felt quickly melted away into something he hadn’t felt in a long time: playfulness.

“A feeble attempt,” he said. “Really, Virgil, I thought you were better than that. Apology unaccepted. However, I do accept your declaration of war.”

“My de—?” Virgil’s confusion was cut off by a snowball to the shoulder. Deceit had to cover his mouth to stifle a laugh when seeing Virgil’s dumbfounded expression. Shock quickly turned into competitiveness, and Deceit could see he was trying not to smile. There was a dangerous glint in his eye, like lighting a fire; a look Virgil only ever got when they used to rough house together. It felt like so long since Deceit had seen that look, and he was glad to have it back, even if it was just for this one moment. “So that’s how you wanna play.”

Virgil knelt down to load more ammunition when Deceit cupped his hands to his mouth and called, “Hey, Roman, sounds like that snowball was for you. Courtesy of Virgil.”

“Dee!”

Roman turned around from his snowman, looking at Virgil with his hand on his chest. “Excuse me?” He said in mock-offense, “Trying to attack me, the prince, while his guard is down? My own best friend? How dare you!”

“Oh, get over yourself, Princey,” he laughed, tossing a new snowball up in his hand.

“What do you say we take down this fowl beast together?” Roman asked Deceit.

“With pleasure.” Deceit and Roman began to advance.

“Hey, w-wait! No fair!” Virgil said, backing up, “You guys can’t team up on me like that!”

“Are you kiddos playing nice?” Patton jokingly called over from where he and Logan were standing.

He was answered with a snowball to the back. “No,” Roman said through a grin. Virgil snickered.

Logan turned. “Hey now, don’t get us involved in your silly little qua—”

It was Patton’s turn to cut him off with a snowball, accidentally hitting him in the side of the head. Everyone froze, afraid they’d gone too far. Patton’s hands shot up to cover his mouth.

“Alright,” he said, deadly calm. He took in a deep breath, cracking his neck and knuckles. “You asked for it.”

Everyone ran.

Logan quickly began scooping up bunches of snow in his fists, grinning from ear to ear, running after a screaming Patton. While Roman was distracted with steering clear of Logan, Virgil finally got his snowball to its original target. “Hey!”

Everyone forgot who was teaming up with who, and soon it was every man for themselves. Snowballs were flying in every which way, targeting whoever was closest.

 Deceit had never really been in a full-fledged snowball fight before, and he was a little worried he was going to hurt someone, but no one seemed to really mind getting hit. The snowball to Virgil was a bold move, but it only seemed to break the ice between them. The entire time he’d been over, Virgil had barely even acknowledged his presence. Now they were indulging in the same kind of chaotic fun they always had. Deceit decided it couldn’t hurt to join in.

Who was the easiest target? Probably Patton, but he was already occupied with Logan. Patton had been backed to a wall and was giggling nervously as Logan approached.

 “Wait, Lo, we can talk about this!” he squeaked, bracing himself for the kill.

“Hey!” Virgil called to distract Logan, “That’s my friend!”

“He’s my friend too!” Roman announced proudly.

“Oh,” Logan said, turning around and letting Patton slip from his trap. “I’m so glad you two have offered to take his place as sacrifice. How kind.”

“Oh, wait, never mind!” Roman called back when he realized what he’d just gotten himself into. He and Virgil ran for it, but Logan was like a machine. He hit both his targets with pinpoint accuracy, catching Virgil off-guard and knocking him to the ground with a muffled “Oof!”

Meanwhile Deceit had completely forgotten about Patton, who had snuck off while everyone was distracted by the Logan/Virgil/Roman show, and was shocked to feel a ball of snow hit his shoulder.

Deceit turned around to see Patton stick out his tongue playfully. He stuck his forked tongue out in return, causing Patton to bust up.

“It doesn’t have to be this way, Patton,” Deceit said melodramatically, gathering more snow in his hands.

Patton was too busy clutching his stomach laughing to respond.

Though Virgil had fallen prey to Logan, Roman had escaped and was positioned behind Patton, holding his finger to his lips.

Roman silently launched his snowball. Unfortunately, he wasn’t the best shot. The snowball hit Patton directly behind the knees with full force and sent him straight to the ground.

It was Deceit’s turn to crack. There was something so shocking and sudden about it, Deceit doubled over, laughing so hard he was forced to the ground right along with Patton.

 “Sorry, Pat!” Roman screeched and rushed over. The three of them were on the ground, barely catching their breaths. It almost hurt to be laughing so hard. Deceit wiped his eyes and slowly stood, helping Patton back up.

Patton’s glasses were slightly askew across his flushed cheeks, but he was grinning like he was having the time of his life. He helped Roman back up, who profusely apologized through his laughs and wrapped Patton in a hug. Deceit strolled over to watch the showdown between Virgil and Logan, though there was really no fight for Virgil. He was already pinned into the snow.

 “Wa—Logan, no!” he heard Virgil scream with laughter as Logan began stuffing snow into Virgil’s coat. There was a hint of satisfaction in Logan’s eyes that both amazed and terrified Deceit.

“Hey, don’t put this on me, you’re the one who started this whole thing!”

“Did not!”

Deceit couldn’t help but laugh quietly into his glove at the sight of big, tough Virgil being taken down by the ever-stoic Logan, like some sort of petty sibling fight.

“Deceit’s the one who made it into a war,” Virgil said, shooting Deceit a look. Normally he would’ve been hurt by a look from Virgil, but Deceit saw that it was no longer filled with anger and resentment. The look he gave was one of grudging gratitude, like that little bit of a release was something he had desperately needed.

Virgil finally got his chance to fight back and pushed Logan off of him, breathing heavily through leftover giggles. He threw some powder back at Logan for good measure.

“I’ll do it again, you know,” Logan warned, brushing the snow off his pants.

“You’re crazy, you know that, Lo?” Virgil laughed.

Logan just smiled and straightened his glasses.

Everyone headed back inside to warm up and settle down for the afternoon. Coats, scarves, and other accessories were hung back up on the coat rack to dry. Patton put on a record for top Christmas hits and sat down with a cup of cocoa. “I hope you’re enjoying your stay, Deceit, it’s been wonderful having you here.”

Deceit felt a pleasant warmth rise up within him. “I quite am, Patton, thank you.”

He didn’t detect any sort of lie in Patton’s statement, but he couldn’t help but wonder if he really meant that. They enjoyed having him around?

“Are you loving Christmas yet?” Roman asked excitedly.

“Uh…” he wasn’t sure how to answer that question. Before he could give a proper answer, Brenda Lee’s Rockin’ Around the Christmas Tree began to play, making Patton spring to his feet.

“Ooh, this is one of my favorites!” He squealed. Then, turning serious, he whipped around to face Logan.

“Logan, will you have this dance?”

Patton bowed dramatically, holding out his hand to Logan who scoffed and rolled his eyes. He reluctantly took Patton’s hand, trying to hide his smile.

Patton led the two in a bouncy, improvised-swing type of dance, pulling poor Logan right along. Between Patton’s silly antics and a little bit of embarrassment, Logan’s composure was quickly breached. He was laughing almost uncontrollably, weakening as he was pulled along by a singing Patton, his face redder than ever. “Patton!” Logan laughed. “Slow down!”

The scene unfolding before them was too good, Virgil couldn’t help but feel a smile tug at the corners of his mouth. “Hey now, these two can’t be having all the fun.”

Virgil stood up from the wall where he, Roman, and Deceit were leaning against to view the show.

“C’mon, Princey,” he grabbed Roman’s arm, “You’re dancing with me.” Virgil dragged Roman out to where Logan and Patton were.

“Gladly, my dearest knight!” Roman beamed and let Virgil lead the way, dancing next to the other two in that free-swing kind of way.

Deceit watched in fascination and awe at the four friends, dancing and laughing themselves silly, not having a care in the world. He too couldn’t help but smile at the sight. It really was an honor to get to witness such a wholesome moment in time.

He was snapped out of his gaze when Roman began approaching, his hand extended. “Your turn!”

“Oh, uh,” Deceit tried to think of a way out. He really was enjoying himself just by getting to watch the others. “That’s okay, I—" But Roman didn’t seem to be giving him an option, as Deceit was yanked to the dance floor. “Come on, Snake, let’s rattle!”

“Only if you never say that again,” he tried his best to sound irritated, but he doubted it was very effective when it was obvious that he was trying not to smile.

Roman laughed. “Whatever you say, Jekyll and Lied.”

Roman and Deceit danced with surprising ease, Virgil returning to his spot to watch the others.

“What a fine dance partner you are!” Roman exclaimed as the song came to an end. Everyone began slowing down, breathing hard but smiling just the same.

 “Thank you, dear Roman,” Deceit said with a theatrical bow, “You’re not so bad yourself.”

“Wonderful performances, everyone!” Roman announced cheerfully as the next song began. “Now, switch partners! I call the Nerd over there!”

“Hey!” Logan pouted as Roman strolled over to Logan cheekily.

Patton glanced at the remaining dance partners and quickly added, “And I’ll grab us all some drinks! Be right back!” Leaving Virgil and Deceit the only two left.

Suddenly dancing didn’t seem so fun.

Deceit steeled his nerves and cautiously approached Virgil, who eyed him warily. “Virgil, would you…?”

“Yeah, fine, let’s just get this over with,” he said with an eye roll, taking Deceit’s hand.

The Christmas Song was the next to play, bringing everyone down to a kind of casual slow dance, for which everyone was grateful. After about a minute of dancing and avoiding eye contact, Virgil was the first one to speak up.

“I guess... it is nice to see you again,” he admitted.

Deceit pretended not to notice the blush growing on Virgil’s face and said, “What’s that? You’re mumbling, Virgil.”

“You know what I said,” he spat, his face only continuing to redden. Deceit chuckled.

“I’m sorry,” Deceit said, softening his voice to a more serious tone. His dance partner finally met his eyes. “For everything.”

It took Virgil a moment to process those words, letting silence fall between them as they listened to the others apparently having their own fun.

“Quit stepping on my feet, Roman, I thought you were supposed to be a good dancer!”

“Hey, I am a good dancer!”

Virgil looked down at the floor and quietly said, “Me too.”

It was early evening when the group of friends decided to settle down with a movie: the original Grinch. Patton made popcorn for everyone while Roman broke out the blankets. Virgil went around the house, closing all the blinds and shutting off lights as Logan set up the movie. Deceit asked if there was anything he could do to help, but everyone just told him they had it taken care of and to make himself comfortable on the couch. He grabbed a blanket and did what he was told.

Once all preparations were made and the beginning credits started to show, everyone took their seats. Patton jumped to the space on Deceit’s left, yelling, “I call sitting next to Dee!” Virgil grinned and climbed over to the opposite side. Logan and Roman sat on the floor, Logan’s shoulder’s straddled between Virgil’s knees and Roman stretched out on his side, throwing his legs over Logan’s lap. Patton and Virgil cuddled up on either side of Deceit, causing a warmth to spread through his limbs and fluttering feeling in his stomach. The sudden and intimate contact was a bit surprising, but certainly not unwelcome.

“I’ve never done something like this before,” he said to no one in particular, an excited edge creeping into his voice. “But this is actually really unpleasant. In fact, this is the worst time I’ve had in a while!”

“Aww, that’s great to hear!” Patton praised and nuzzled into Deceit, wrapping himself and his blanket around his arm. 

Roman chuckled and said, “I told you I’d make you like Christmas,” but yelped when Logan flicked the bottom of his foot.

“I still hate you, you know,” Virgil said in his usual irritated voice, but when Deceit looked over he was smiling.

Patton yawned. “Gee, for a cold-blooded creature, you sure are warm...”

The group was mostly silent during the rest of the movie, having exhausted all their energy earlier in the day. Deceit silently observed Virgil, who was absentmindedly playing with Logan’s hair as he watched the movie. When Virgil realized what he was doing had accidentally put his friend to sleep, he retracted his hand and curled up under his blanket. Everyone but Virgil and Deceit were out cold at this point, lulled by the sound of the movie playing in the background and the comfort of everyone cuddled up together. Roman was curled up to a pillow on the floor next to Logan, whose head had fallen back into Virgil’s lap. Patton was completely wrapped up in his blanket, snuggled up against Deceit’s side. And he wouldn’t have had it any other way.

He could’ve stayed there forever, perfectly content.

Virgil yawned, resting his head lightly against Deceit’s arm. Then, without taking his eyes off the screen, whispered, “I missed you”. It was so quiet, barely audible, Deceit wasn’t sure if it was meant to be heard, or even said at all. For all he knew he could’ve been talking to one of the characters on-screen. Deceit just smiled and leaned his cheek to the top of Virgil’s head, sighing contentedly and trying not to let the warm sleepy air get to him too.

 •••

Deceit was surprised by how sad he felt to be leaving. The last twenty-four hours seemed to have gone by so fast. The five of them gathered together in the foyer again, this time to see Deceit off.

“I guess this is it, then,” he said.

“Thank you so much for coming, Deceit, it was a pleasure having you,” Patton said, wrapping him in a hug. “Feel free to visit, okay?”

Deceit returned the hug. “The pleasure was mine. Oh! I almost forgot…” He began taking off his Christmas sweater.

“Oh no, no,” Roman stopped him. “That’s yours, my friend.”

“But—”

“For next time,” Logan smiled.

“And this?” he asked, holding up Virgil’s spare coat he had borrowed.

“You can keep it,” Virgil shrugged. “Seemed to do you a lot more good than it did me.”

“Thank you.” Deceit pulled on the coat and wrapped his new scarf securely around his neck. He put his gloves and hat back on.

Deceit looked around at everyone, not sure what to say.

“Thank you again,” he said finally. “Really. This was by far the best Christmas I’ve ever had.”

Roman did a small fist pump.

“I… I hope to see you all again,” he said, opening the door. “In the near future.”

“We love you too, you stupid snake,” Virgil said teasingly.

There was one more round of hugs before Deceit stepped out onto the snowy porch. 

When it was Virgil’s turn, there was a small moment of hesitation before he finally threw his arms tightly around Deceit, paralyzing him for a moment. Deceit relaxed into it and gratefully returned the hug. They stood there embraced for maybe a tad longer than was comfortable, but no one really minded. He heard a soft “aw” from Patton.

Just as he was about to step off into the street, he heard, “Hey.”

He turned. “Don’t be a stranger,” Logan said.

“Yeah! You might be the bad guy, but you’re our bad guy now!” Roman said.

“Sucks to be you,” Virgil agreed with a smirk, putting his hands in his jacket pockets.

Deceit just laughed and waved, turning back around.

The snow began to fall once again, but this time was different. For the first time, Deceit didn’t mind the cold. He smiled and hummed to himself as he made his way back to his apartment.

He had somewhat of a family now. A small, chaotic one, but a family nonetheless. People who had accepted him back into their lives, even when he hadn’t been the greatest to them in the past. They had given him a second chance, a fresh start— and that was more than Deceit could’ve ever asked for.

Roman had been right. Christmas really could be a wonderful time of year when you have the ones you care about there to keep you warm. Maybe the holiday season wasn’t so bad after all.

#christmas #christmas fic #christmas fluff #sanders sides #ts sanders #ts sides #sanders sides fanfiction #sanders sides fic #sanders sides fluff #sympathetic deceit #happy ending #my fic #my first fanfic #ts deceit #deceit sanders #deceit angst/comfort #fluff #like a lot of fluff #this is honestly so self-indulgent #logan sanders #ts logan #roman sanders #ts roman #patton sanders #ts patton #virgil sanders #ts virgil #platonic dlamp

[drakewalkerisreal]

Chapter 9: Dance First, Think Later

Amour Sans Fin

Note from writer: Sorry guys I was unable to post anything from almost 15 days as I was not well, still not much better. I was unable to write anything. This is one long chapter.Hope you like it!! It starts exactly from where we left off in last chapter. Drake's POV.

Warning: mild NSFW

I bolted the door immediately. What is this happening to me? What feeling is this? Why the thought of kissing her came into my mind? Yes, she is beautiful. I cant deny that. But she is here for Liam competing for his hand, to be queen. I was such a fool. If she hadn’t suggested to get back, I might have kissed her. She suggested coz she did not want that. It is obvious.

I threw myself on the bed. Her lips were pink and soft. I wanted to touch them with my fingers. I wanted to touch her body. What will it look like without any cover? I want to lick her everywhere. Will she allow me??

Shit I gave up on more sensuous thoughts of her.

Now, I was imagining a pornstar. My hand immediately went up to flyer of my denim pants and I started rubbing. I took my half hard member out and started jerking. Jesus!! I panted. I want you!! I got up from the bed and freed myself from the denim. I went to the bathroom and started jerking thinking about all the bad things I want to do to her. Tearing clothes. Sucking. Licking. Kissing everywhere. Pounding hard against the tile till she screams my name. Fuck. Finally I released. I caught with my breath. I cleaned up and immediately got inside the sheet covers, drifting off to sleep.

Next day was about dancing and Cardonian Waltz. I dressed up myself in a formal white shirt with black pants and black tie. I should dress up more often. Staring at the mirror, I realized I look presentable.

I reached the ballroom. Orchestra was playing light music. Liam was sitting with Constantine and Regina at head table. Olivia was there with them.

I saw her coming down the stairs with Hana. She was wearing a low cut grey dress flowing down her body perfectly.

Now, don’t look at her drooling all over your shirt. Go fuck a pornstar in your fantasy.

I can see, she has started winning and I keep on loosing. My nerves, my mind, my patience and God knows whatever.

She, Hana and Maxwell were talking to each other. Maxwell waved them and headed towards main table. He will be representing duchy of Ramsford tonight in absence of Bertrand.

Hana and Riley started looking for name cards to find their table. I knew that my table will be at the back. It wasn’t hard for me to find it. I was surprised to find that Hana and Riley got same table as mine. Olivia..Bitch!! You are trying to humiliate them.

They came towards the backside searching for their tables.

“Welcome to the table of exiles” I bowed dramatically.

“Drake, you are here!! Thank God we did not stuck up with some stuffy noble.” She was happy to see me.

“Thanks Brooks. That means something”

“Drake you didn’t seem bothered at all sitting in the back”. Hana asked.

“After enough years of getting treated like this, I built up a thick skin and at least we can relax here” I adjusted myself in chair.

We sat there watching swarms of servers carry dish after dish of delicious food to other tables.

“The food looks amazing, I hope they serve us soon” Hana looked at them hungrily.

“Where we are seated, we will be last to eat. If there’s any left by the time they get to us” I explained.

“Let me try for some food” Riley winked at us.

“Hey!! Do you know who I am?? I am Lady Riley- princess of New York” she called a waiter. He ignored her completely.

Hana and I chortled.

“You cant ignore me like this”

“Are those cronuts? I love them” she exclaimed like a child.

She likes cronuts. Of course, kids like cronuts.

“A+ for efforts, Brooks. But they must have been told whom to serve first”

Thirty minutes later.

“Wow!! the service is terrible here” Hana raised her brow.

“All by design” I nodded.

Finally a waiter served us lobster bisque which was cold.

“I don’t think we are getting any eatable food tonight. I am going to find some in kitchen later in night.” I announced.

“Can I come..” Riley asked. Just then musicians began to play.

“Hello dear guests welcome to ball!! I hope you enjoyed your dinner.” Olivia is at stage with Liam. “Thanks for your presence tonight. Now everyone please join to begin this prestigious dance- The Cardonian waltz.”

“But we haven’t eaten anything yet.” Hana said in disappointment.

“I don’t think she cares.” I hung back. I am always uncomfortable in these waltz.

“Aren’t you joining us??” Riley raised her brow.

“Waltzing isn’t my thing. I will be here with food”

They headed to the stage with Maxwell for dance.

Everybody found partners. Liam came forward and asked her to dance. She blushed and nodded.

This party is getting worse.

They danced together hand in hand. Then Liam swirled her. His back was on my side. I was watching them. Suddenly she looked up at me over Liam’s shoulder. I smiled weakly raising my glass. But Olivia seemed to be offended by their dance. She interrupted them and claimed Liam to dance. Now she was alone at floor. She embarrassingly found her way to get out of stage.

I don’t know what came over me, I reached out to her immediately. She suddenly looked up in surprise to find me. Her eyes twinkled.

“Hey brooks! May I have this dance?”

She nodded smiling.

“ I thought you don’t dance”

I just shrugged.

I took her hand and take her to dance floor. I saw Liam looking at me raising his brow. I rolled my eyes and he grinned.

I hesitated but she took my hand to put it on her waist. I felt a jolt of electricity as if lightning stuck at me. I was so shy to look into her.

“Drake! You need to look at your partner while dancing” she whispered. Her breath is on my neck. I can smell roses.

“Umm..yeah” I looked into her eyes. Hazel brown eyes. She was smiling at me.

We swayed together hand in hand. Our fingers were entwined. Two commoners dancing between wealthy nobles on this stage. Both of them don’t know how to waltz but there was sync in our moves.

“Make me spin” I obeyed and she fell into my arms. I want to hold her like this forever. Again there is an urge of kissing her. She looked into my eyes and I cant believe to notice that she reflects my feelings except one difference that I was dumbstruck and she was smiling. Without knowing the steps, I followed her lead. I was the only one there without a suit jacket. If I knew, I would have bring one. I twirled her like others are doing with their partners. Now she is facing outward and her back is close to my chest. She turned her face to me. She looked beautiful and pure. Suddenly, the music changes its pace and it was time to switch partners. She glided forward and now she was in Liam’s arms. Liam said something in her ear. Looking at them foolishly, I withdrew from the stage. I got back in the corner. That’s why dancing feels so stupid. I looked at them and she was looking at me directly. I couldn’t read her expressions. Once again partners have been switched and Olivia was with Liam and Riley was with Maxwell now.

Suddenly all eyes turned towards Olivia and Liam as she started kissing him deeply on the floor.

Everybody looked at them with their jaws dropped.

Liam looked surprised too. He hesitated at first and then took Olivia outside. I know he wasn’t expecting this coming.

Ladies started gossiping about Olivia’s move. After sometime, they came back in ballroom. I was sitting at bar counter now. Liam came straight towards me.

“Wow Li, I never knew you were interested in PDAs.” I teased him

“Shut up, you!! That was surprise for me too”.

“Anyone can guess by look on your face, I was kidding”

“Olivia becomes more possessive, when I am around Riley.” he rubbed his face.

“yeah, coz she finds her threat” I shrugged.

“Olivia wasn’t wrong actually. I really like Riley.”

I gulped down my drink.

“I wanted to dance with her more. I want to spend more time with her. But I don’t get much chance to be around her due to these courtly duties.” He clenched his jaw.

I was looking deeply into my glass.

“You know what, I will invite her tonight at Royal suite. May be I can have a hot water bath under the stars with her” he was smiling now.

“That’s too fast” I quirked my brow. My teeth clenched but I tried to calm down my expressions.

“May be, but I want to spend time with her. It will be romantic. And you danced tonight? What was that?” he grinned at me.

“It was nothing. I was just saving your Riley from nobles”

“My Riley?” he showed his full teeth.

I was flooded with jealousy.

“Okay, I am going to get some food. Coz your Olivia..” I pointed at him “ didn’t let us have anything”

He rolled his eyes.

After sometime, I was wandering in the corridors of the Nevrakis palace searching for some food. Although I know where the kitchen is, my mind was somewhere else. What must they be doing? Are they having sex? A hot water bath under stars. If she agrees to go, they will have sex tonight. He will kiss her, touch her body all over. He will have her. He will be inside her. Shit. I want to kiss her if I get a chance. I want to kiss her whole body. I want to uncover it. She must be beautiful. I can bet. If she allows, I’ll have her. But why would she? She is with a prince. The King. I cant give her hot water bath in Royal suit. What will it be like having hot water bath with her?

I was imagining kissing her neck and suddenly I bumped into someone

“ Brooks??”

“Hey Drake!”

“What are you doing here?” I was shocked and embarrassed coz I was imagining her.

“I was looking for you.” What. Why.

“Weren’t you talking about finding food after the ball. I am still hungry. Aren’t you?”

Oh I forget that.

“Of course I am hungry.”

I am hungry for you. Can I eat you now.

“So. What’s your plan?” she rubbed her palms as if getting ready for an adventure.

“I know a guy in kitchen. He can arrange some if there’s left anything.”

“How do you come to know a guy in Nevrakis kitchen?” she asked in surprise.

“I used to come here since childhood.”

“Then lets get going.” She said enthusiastically.

There was a relief in my body. I am happy that they are not having sex. And now she is here with me.

I took out my phone and dialed a number.

“Hey Michael. I asked you before. So is anything left?? Some snacks and desserts.”

I looked at her questioningly.

“Anything” she rubbed hand over her stomach.

“okay please arrange some. Thanks a lot”

We reached the kitchen and I gently knocked. She was waiting a feet away.

Michael came out and handed me a packet.

“Thanks” I grinned.

I turned towards her and she gave me full smile.

“So where are we eating?”

“Wait till someone set up tables for us” I made fun of her.

“Charming as ever” she rolled her eyes.

I led her to a spiral staircase in the backside of the chateau facing the fields.

“You know all the places?”

I shrugged.

“This is good” she breathed in fresh air.

I opened the packet and found sandwiches. I handed her and started eating myself.

“I was really hungry. How do you know that guy by the way?” she said chewing the sandwich.

“I have my resources. Actually, I helped him once. So I knew he can do that for me” I winked.

“Oh” She is still eating sandwich hungrily.

“Besides attending these events I prefer walking down the corridors on my own where I don’t have to bow or kiss somebody’s ass.” I said licking my fingers.

“If you hate nobility so much why do you stick around.” She asked.

“Its Liam..its always been him. I would have left a long time ago but he needs me. I know he has many people around him but they encircle him due to some benefit or the other. They are not trustworthy. I don’t trust these nobles. Money and power make people crazy. That’s why I warned you. I didn’t want you to get hurt.”

She stopped eating and looked at me “Drake..”

“I mean sometimes I look at you and I see a wide eyed baby deer who just stumbled into hunters campsite.” I looked into her.

“So you think I am cute.” She said playfully.

“What. I didn’t mean that. You want some dessert or not??” I changed the topic.

“Wow. Cronuts??” she exclaimed.

I looked at sweet donut type dessert.

“These are cronuts, Don’t you know? It’s a doughnut pastry filled with yummy cream and I just love it”

She took one immediately. “Oh my its sooooo good.”

It was a true entertainment watching this girl eating. I took one myself. It was scrumptous.

“Your friend is very kind. I always get these in New York” she said licking her fingers.

“Do you miss New York?” I asked her.

“Yes. But its good to be out from there? I mean I have friends, some family but..”

“But..”

“I just came out from any abusive relationship. My ex. He was sweet at first but he is a crazy guy, dangerous. He used to beat me and insult me. He enjoys that.” She looked at me.

“What..?” I felt rage.

“Sorry, Brooks.” My jaws are still clenched.

“Oh its ok..at least I am out of it, now. That’s why I don’t want to get into any relationship before knowing someone better.” She was looking at ground now.

“You know. Liam invited me tonight at his Royal suite. He is sweet and he seems interested. But I was scared and so I refused. That was rude of me. Isn't?” she searched my eyes.

“No..not at all. You did the right thing. You have already suffered a lot. You should do whatever you like. Don’t do it till your heart allows so..ok??” I shook my head

“Thanks drake!! You are first person here with whom I shared my dark secret.” She smiled weakly.

“This is not your dark secret. Life happens. That basturd should be ashamed of it.” I was still angry at that unknown piece of shit.

“Enough of me. What about your girlfriend?” she changed the topic.

“I told you I don’t have any..” I shook my head.

“I was teasing”

“ I had one though. I loved her but she ditched. She married a rich businessman. Her name was Stella” I mumbled.

“Oh” she looked at me in concern.

“Its long time ago so don’t worry. Its almost 5 years. I had nothing at that time. No plans. But now I want to be rich too, work hard, make my life.” I said in a firm voice, more to myself.

“What are you plans?”

“I want to start a vineyard. I had a small land left with me owned by Walkers. That’s the only property I have with me. I am working on it.” I explained.

“Vineyard. Wow..can i see it someday?” I can see those baby eyes again.

“There is nothing in there much till now. But I’ll show you.” I nodded.

She smiled genuinely.

“Its too late we should get back.” I stood up.

I walked to her room. “Good night, Brooks.”

She came forward and hugged me “Night Drake”

I put one arm around her hesitantly.

We pulled from each other. She smiled and got inside her room.

I loved the smile that’s for me only.

@drakewalker04 @fromthedeskofpaisleybleakmore @emceesynonymroll @star-spangled-eyes @dcbbw    @jovialyouthmusic @drakesensworld   @drakeandcamilleofvaltoria @ao719 @duchessemersynwalker

@pug-bitch   @rainbowsinthestorm @burnsoslow @i-bloody-love-drake-walker @iplaydrake   @katedrakeohd   @nikkis1983 @qween-corgis @thorfosterlove @butindeed

 @gardeningourmet @speedyoperarascalparty

@pedudley @ibldw-main @irishwhiskys-blog @inlovewithwalker @addictedtodrakefanfic

@notoriouscs @grumpymarshmallowswife

@maria-soederberg

#choices stories you play #inlovewithdrakewalker #the royal romance #drake?mc #trr #choices trh #riley brooks #king liam #olivia nevrakis #trr choices #the royal romance au #playchoices #choices #pixelberry #trr fanfic #the royal romance fanfic #drakewalker #theroyalromance #drake x mc #trh #drake walker #choices fanfiction #the royal heir #choices fanfic #playchoices fanfic #drake x riley

[simonjadis]

Anon I’m ASSUMING that these are from the same person; apologies if they are not

I would say that my feelings are similar to yours, but not quite identical ...

Disney’s handling has been imperfect, and some of the mistakes have been made the highest level (I know that people give Kathleen Kennedy a hard time, but if rumor is to be believed, some of the interference that made IX kind of weird came from higher than that)

for example, Kennedy said in an interview that she tries to find people who just make big, successful movies to make sure that these are also big, successful movies. I can understand that as being a safe bet from a business stand point, but that’s not the same thing as finding someone passionate about very specifically telling good, new Star Wars stories, which we did not really get in the Sequel Trilogy

(one of the most common theories that I saw from TLJ apologists was that people didn’t like that it was new/different than what they were expecting, which was really not the issue for me or my friends. Also it was just a speedrun of parts of Episodes V and VI)

I think that I’m “too close” to Star Wars to see it as a financial asset rather than a beloved universe full of characters and stories that I adore, but I don’t think that “literally just rehash the Original Trilogy for two movies and barely acknowledge any other part of Star Wars until IX” was a good idea

Rey deserved her own story. and Luke deserved to not be retroactively robbed of his

as for George Lucas, I do think that years of backlash over the Prequels sucked the fun out of it for him. Also, who doesn’t want four billion dollars? it was a sweetheart deal for Disney, of course

the sad thing is that this meant the end of Clone Wars, because Disney took one look at Lucasfilm’s budget and was like “OH NO YOU CANNOT SPEND THAT KIND OF MONEY ON A CARTOON” which is why Season 6 was paid for by Netflix and why Maul: Son of Dathomir was a comic

I love Star Wars Rebels and I’m not trying to knock the show at all, but the budgetary difference was palpable. Clone Wars did have it a little easier because of the Clone Troopers (all having the same face), but on Rebels, you notice that 90% of the Imperials are the same guy wearing a hat with his visor obscuring most of his face. market scenes show just a few people (but plenty of Storm Troopers)

the designs of the main characters -- Ezra, Hera, Sabine, Zeb, Kallus, Thrawn, Kanan, etc -- are great and loving and detailed and most of those change a little over time, but there’s a reason that we only see so many planets on Rebels. look at the huge armies and crowds in Rebels. my friend @drunkkenobi​ is the first who pointed out to me that in Clone Wars, you sometimes see lines of ships (Space Traffic) and each ship in line will be unique, distinct from the others

it’s not Rebels’ fault that they didn’t have that kind of budget. that’s also why their space battles (and space ships) never quite look right. meanwhile, for Clone Wars, if they wanted a particular scene or ship that went over their planned budget, all that they had to do was ask Uncle George

eccentric billionaires funding expensive media isn’t necessarily the most sustainable model for storytelling, but it sure worked out well for Clone Wars and for The Expanse

(Jeff Bezos personally called up the head of Amazon Prime programming, who had already been considering acquiring the extremely good but expensive show, and was like “hey the cast from this show is at a thing where I am, I’d love to just tell them that their show is saved, give me it?” and we saw as many new locations in Season 4 as we did in the first three seasons)

but streaming -- where you actually get money directly from customers who then, through their activity on your platform, show you exactly what they want to see aka what is keeping them on your platform -- offers a new opportunity for high quality genre media. remember, scifi and fantasy were EVERYWHERE in the ‘90s and the early aughts, and then because too expensive for regular TV unless they had huge audiences. only through streaming do we have these new Star Treks, The Witcher, and the real possibility of a new Stargate series

why do I bring up streaming? because

The Mandalorian goes to show that Disney can 100% do good Star Wars. Rebels was good, despite its budget, but can you imagine how much better it would have been if it had aired on Disney+

as with the DC movies (three of which are good and I’m also excited for Birds of Prey), the solution to the our-movies-made-a-lot-of-money-but-aren’t-strictly-speaking-good is literally just “let the people who do the cartoons make the movies”

and now we’re getting a final, seventh (half) season of Clone Wars! twelve episodes looking better than the show has ever looked!!

if you’re like me, you probably thought to yourself “gee, only 12?” and, cynically, you figured that it’s a trick -- announced at ComicCon in 2018 to build up the first wave of hype for Disney+

and it is ... but it 100% worked on me, I signed up for Disney+ and will pay anything for Clone War

my HOPE is that this is a test run to see if people really like high-quality animated Star Wars stories enough to continue with it. there’s only so much clone wars that one can cover (my suspicion is that we will see Ahsoka fake her death during Order 66 in these eps, so yep, that’s the end of the Clone Wars right there)

imagine a well-written series with everything that Clone Wars had in terms of content and visual quality, but it’s set after Episode IX. to my frustration, IX ends with effectively the same worldstate as VI which essentially means that nothing much happened in the Sequel Trilogy. but imagine a series set after IX. we could see a new set of (Force-wielding) characters. we could see Rey, Finn, Poe, and Rose during some episodes. Rose could finally get to do something that’s not an insulting fool’s errand (she deserves so much better!!!!!)

we don’t need a new Big Scary Empire/First Order thing, just organized crime and pirates and Hutts and bounty hunters and individual planet systems going to war as the characters try to assemble a NEW New Republic (gods I hate the unchanged worldstate)

now, I know that Star Wars Resistance is not ... reassuring. this is the only screencap that I have from it because I couldn’t get into it. it’s not the animation (I enjoyed Tron Uprising and Iron Man: Armored Adventures and this is the same kind of deal), but three things:

-I watch Star Wars for the Force primarily; other stuff can be cool but I need the Force

-I will never care about ships racing and really I don’t care about an individual ship flying; I’m a Command Ship kind of space nerd

-apparently the writing doesn’t improve much during the first season. people tell the main character to not do something, then he does it, and disaster ensues. that’s ... it’s fine, it’s fine to exist as a show, it’s just not for me

obviously, not all Star Wars media is for me, but when something -- like TLJ or the Sequel Series as a whole (even though VII and IX are enjoyable) or Resistance -- disappoints me, I would never accuse it of “ruining Star Wars”

Star Wars is a whole franchise. the breadth of canon isn’t all wiped away by some disappointments. was the MCU ruined by Age of Ultron? no. it was a bad movie but from the same franchise that gave us The Winter Soldier and Thor Ragnarok. hell, Dawn of Justice doesn’t “ruin” Wonder Woman or Aquaman or Shazam. bad movies aren’t contagious

for the past several years, the Entitled Dude crowd has felt empowered. they were radicalized in the altright/redpill/MGTOW/meninist/nazi/gamergate/comicsgate/etc spheres of the internet and now they just have a reflex where they see any sort of representation and decry it as “SJW,” which they also seem to think is a bad thing

in the same way that well-meaning people on tumblr can get radicalized into being antis/puriteens, people with certain vulnerabilities on reddit or youtube can get sucked into a world that tells them that they are the default and that other people existing is “political” in media and in real life, and that people being upset by outright cruelty towards them is both funny and means that the cruel person is the victor. they need therapy and studios need to not listen to them

unfortunately, sometimes there are movies that are bad despite having things like solid representation. Ghostbusters 2016 was a delight, but my friends and I with whom I saw TLJ (all of us queer feminists) left the theater angry. we’ve bitten our tongues a lot (even if it seems otherwise) because publicly criticizing the film too often leads some incel monster to chime in with agreement, and we’re just like

the redpillgate crowed et all is a natural ally of conservative white evangelicals, even though the former group is generally made up of New Atheists (the short version is atheists who hold socially conservative views because racism/misogyny/transphobia benefit them without using christianity as an excuse). it’s kind of like how terfs will side with conservative hate groups because, though they’re natural enemies, they both despite trans people just for existing

unfortunately, when you’re looking at who went to see a movie or who hated it, not everyone posts with an ID card saying exactly their demographic. which is only going to make studios like Disney even more nervous about including queer content in Star Wars and in the MCU (I mean real queer content with characters whose names don’t have to be searched on a wiki)

that was a bit of a tangent, but yeah. sorry if I missed anything

#star wars #clone wars #anon #ask #anon ask

[ditto]

wi rehab week 3 review: the Week™. i KNOW this post is long but god please read about my misfortune if yall want a Saga

current status on raccoons: clement

number of monster energy drinks consumed: 2

number of buns directly killed: 1

Days Since Last Diarrhead on: 1

Baby Raccoon Count: 150ish? probably 130 that need to be bottle fed 

new tasks performed:

baby opossum cage maintenance

baby waterfowl cage maintenance

SQ fluid administration on raccoons

SQ vaccine administration on raccoons

What To Do When Your Tire Goes Flat 101

oral medication administration on possums

CHRONOLOGICAL TALE OF MISFORTUNE: i’m not going to do this regularly but the sheer amount of bad shit that happened this week was COMICAL so let me break down everything that happened to me this work week

MONDAY 6/8

got diarrhead on during 6am raccoon feeding

straight up killed a baby rabbit during bun feeding. they stress real easily and i’m bad at tubing so i had him out for a while and he just fuckin. died. from stress. in my hands. directly because of me being bad at my job. so you know that was uhhhhhhhhhhhhh

shovelled out wet dirty woodchips out of a walk-in enclosure with like 8 goslings using a snowshovel w/ another baby intern. you can’t put a ton of woodchips into one trash bag so we had to keep changing out the trash bag and it was like 92 degrees out and we were both wearing cloth masks and on god i really thought we were gonna die in there

during the pm feeding i get peed on by the EXACT SAME RACCOON that diarrhead on me during the am feeding 

TUESDAY 6/9: the Day(tm)

i have a therapy appointment scheduled at 2pm. my shift is 6am-2pm. i’ll need to leave at 1:30pm to get to it. i tell my supervisors this. it’s chill. i still feel bad about it, because i have anxiety.

right off the bat, i get scolded by my Actual Boss for doing something i watched one of the supervising interns do 

6am raccoon feeding: get diarrhead on again. 

a rac RIPS the fucking nipple off of the baby bottle we’re feeding them with and formula gets fucking everywhere. i say out loud at this moment “IM HAVING A GREAT WEEK”. one of my supervising interns feels bad for me and keeps trying to cheer me up throughout the day. she does make me feel better.

i get dishes which is fine bc i dont mind dishes for real but my hands turn into sandpaper the day after doing dishes for 2 hours so this is more :| than :/. i make jokes about how bad my week is going. the mood is, generally, looking up.

next raccoon feeding is scheduled for noon. raccoons are housed in a separate building, so it’s about a 5 minute drive to get there from the main area. we get ready to leave around 1pm. recap: i need to leave at 1:30pm for a therapy appointment. i’m planning on driving my own car down there so i can do this. it’s chill.

on my way down there, i start hearing the most godawful screeching of metal. i am, quote, “like uhhh.” when i open the gate to turn onto the highway, i stick my head out the window to look

my tire is flat.

i have a flat tire.

my fucking tire is FLAT dude.

>mfw

>

>

pull over after gate

tell the staff member following me “hey i have a flat tire so im probably not going to make it down to feed today” and shes like flkdjsalfksd okay

call the ONE supervising intern whose number i have, who is the one who heard me say IM HAVING A GREAT WEEK, like GUESS WHICH BITCH HAS A FLAT TIRE LMFAOOOOOOO. just making that one call was the funniest fucking thing that’s ever happened in my entire life

to quote her verbatim: “i guess you are having a bad week”

call my dad, who as it turns out was actively teaching a class when i called, so i am well and truly facked and am DEFINITELY not making this therapy appointment

ok. take a deep breath. check my car. i have a donut in my car. i have not changed a tire in three years, and have never changed one in the scenario of I Have A Flat Tire. fack. relay this to the one supervising intern whos number i know (i’m going to call her supervising intern 1 going forward here). ask her if anyone knows how to change a tire. 

supervising intern 1 calls back. apparently there’s a guy who lives on the same property we’re on named donnie. donnie is a maintenance worker who helps out a lot around the rehab place. donnie can help me change my tire. apparently someone currently down feeding raccoons is going to come pick me up and bring me over there so i can continue to feed raccoons until donnie can fix my tire. 

get call from supervising intern 2, whose number i did not have, apparently it got relayed. i ask her if anyone down there can change a tire. she says she can change a tire. she will help me change my tire she finishes on raccoon feeding. ok sounds good. someone is still going to come pick me up.

get call back 10 minutes later. apparently donnie is in the middle of a field right now and it is unlikely that he can fix my tire. someone is still going to come get me to feed raccoons, maybe. i tell her supervising intern 2 can help me change my tire after we finish our shift. she says thats fine. ok cool sick.

try to call therapist. i have no signal. send email which is, verbatim: “Hey! I'm currently on the the side of of the the road in [TOWN 30 MILES AWAY] with a flat tire, so I'm not going to make our appointment today. If we could reschedule for sometime soon, that would be great.” signal is bad, so this ends up being sent at 3pm.

(ALSO I LEARNED ABOUT THIS TODAY BUT APPARENTLY IN THE TIMELINE THERE’S A FIGHT HERE BETWEEN SUPERVISING INTERNS 1 AND 2 OVER HOW THE SITUATION IS PLAYING OUT WHICH IS EQUAL PARTS HILARIOUS AND “MAKES ME FEEL BAD”)

one of the other baby interns comes to pick me up and bring me down to racs. i walk in like AYYYYYYY and start feeding raccoons.

i get diarrhead on again.

i get diarrhead on again again. 

apparently 3 in one day is a record.

my shift is supposed to end at 2pm. we usually end up staying until 2:15-2:30ish, because that’s usually when the other team gets down here. since supervising intern 2 is currently my savior, she is going to drive me back over when the other team gets here and she leaves. other baby interns leave at 2:15ish, i think. 

the other team is, apparently, running late. they get here at 3pm.

supervising intern 2 drives me back over at 3pm. we get to my car.

the donut is on.

the tire is in the trunk.

apparently donnie was, in fact, able to come change my tire. no one told me this. 

im like ok. this is fine. i tell supervising intern 2 thank u for my life. i leave.

my donut has a 50mph max speed limit. i tell google maps to avoid highways on my way home. this turns my 30 minute drive home into a 50 minute one, and still ends up with me being terrifyingly tailgated by trucks for going 10 miles under the speed limit. i almost, but do not, run out of gas on the way home.

i get home around 4:10pm. i call the auto shop across the street from me and tell them i have a flat tire, but i need the car by 6am tomorrow. do they think they can have it fixed by then. they tell me to bring it over and they’ll let me know.

i bring the car over. i give them my keys. i say thank you and leave.

i realize that my garage door opener is in my car, which is now locked. i have no other way into the house, because our garage door keypad has been broken for 2 years. the sliding glass door in the backyard is locked.

i walk back into the auto shop 5 minutes later and ask in the Polite But Obviously Having A Day tone if i can have my keys back so i can get it. i get my garage door opener out of my car. i give the keys back.

i enter my home. i lay spread-eagled on my bed for one hour.

auto place calls back and tells me they fixed the tire. im like did you replace it or did u fix it. theyre like we fixed it come on over. i almost cry on the phone.

go back over. guy is like “ya u ran over a screw LOL”. gives me my keys back. i wait to pay

after a bit hes like “you dont have to pay anything. this is on the house.”

almost cry

thank him

get car

go home

eat

shower

go to bed at 8pm 

WEDNESDAY (6/10)

everyone at work is immediately like AYYY and in general just very nice about the whole thing. i thank everyone involved for helping. its chill

dont get diarrhead on this feeding but i do get bit for like NO got dam reason what the fack

next up is cleaning juvenile cages and i swear to god i get the nastiest. fucking. raccoon cage i have ever seen in my entire life. there was an...i wanna say eigth-of-an-inch thick layer of raccoon diarrhea across this 2 foot x 4 foot cage

like on GOD the smell was so bad i was gagging through a goddamn cloth mask just. oh my god. i had to just go stand outside and stare into the abyss afterwards for a few minutes it was so NASTY IT WAS SO NASTY

mercifully, i am spared from further misfortune for the rest of the day. i come home. i am so tired.

WAIT I HAVE TO MENTION THAT SUPERVISING INTERN 1 HAD SUCH BAD LUCK FEEDING RABBITS TODAY SO LIKE...my luck is contagious 

notes and observations

anyone who is anti-euthanasia in animal shelters and any other large-scale animal welfare places in general can absolutely suck my dick

most other baby animals will generally have various stages of “baby x”, but opossums look like Adults Except Tiny from a very early age. they have stolen my heart.

birds are poopy little creatures

#summer2020 #1.7k words #animal death #unsanitary

[letstalksymphogear]

Symphogear, EP.7 (Cont.)

“i have not now, nor ever, liked this creepy ass church elevator.”

“kanade please get out of my head, just because im hungry doesnt mean you have to tell me every time i am”

Hibiki finishes getting a full body X-ray. She’s fine.

“that anime protagonist immunity is really kicking in well!”

“by the way, your wife is here! and she’s looking mighty miffed., as opposed to me, mighty milfed.”

“you dont strike me as a mother figure but ill play along for now”

“i just hope miku’s okay...”

“oh, she’ll be fine! see, i’ve seen these kinds of plots before. big secret revealed, another lover is shown, the victim watches as they’re thoroughly cheated on, and they get to lik-”

“please stop breathing”

Genjuro’s wasting away again in Margaritaville. Looking for some daughter to adopt. SOME PEOPLE SAY THAT THERE’S A, WOOOOMAAAAAN TO BLAAAAAAAAAAME, BUT HE KNOWS

XYLOPHONE RIFF

THAT’S IT’S ALL HIS FAULT

XYLOPHONE RIFF

“i hate it when he gets like this. jimmy buffets not a good look for him.”

“for once you and i agree. seeing the commander sulk like this like a middle aged perma-tourist is genuinely miserable”

“hey homies! im back and i brought some bitches! oh, jesus, why does this place smell like mistakes in miami?”

“its me. im sorry. every time i feel like i failed as a dad, my anti-dad energies manifest. imagine every midlife crisis rolled up into a single ball, smacked into the face for eternity. thats the depth of my pain for failing this girl.”

In a moment of positivity, the friendship between Tsubasa and Hibiki is cemented.

> Tsubasa has joined the party.

“FRIENDSHIP!”

“fweindship.”

“uuuuhhhhh... dadship? yeah thats close enough.”

“WE’RE ALL GOOD FRIENDS!”

“ya tiddies are ringing again, better go get it”

Ryoko also points out that Hibiki’s relic is fusing with herself at an alarming rate. This is important to keep in mind.

Meanwhile, at night.

Miku is posing in the motherly “you done fucked up, where have you been young lady” position. A cold scolding is coming.

“.........................hey miku......”

“you can come in. are you worried im gonna bite? you suplexed a car. that shouldn’t be an issue anymore.”

“miku, i.... i wanted to tell you.... but.... the plot wouldn’t let me, miku....”

“should’ve told the plot to fuck off anyway. now you’re gonna live with that. you’re sleeping... on the bottom bunk.”

“b.... b..... b...... b.... b...... bottom bunk...?”

They slept separately that night. God, this is so stupid. All of this is so goddamned stupid. “I’m so mad at you even though you saved my life.” This is just so. AUGH. THIS IS DUMB. KANEKO WRITE BETTER ANGST THAT MAKES SENSE THAT ISN’T THIS.

Meanwhile, far away from this garbage...

Chris, having been evicted from Fine’s McMansion, wanders the streets of mumblemumble aimlessly. Don’t be fooled by her new fancy dress. Basically, she’s a combat-competent hobo.

“no food. no home. no victories. this sucks. whyd you do it, fine? we coulda been great together. but no. ya fired me. now i look like im prancing the red light district with a highly advanced superweapon around my neck.”

“no... hibiki’s to blame. ever since that genderbent little mac showed up to fight me, it’s been all downhill. fine thought me a laughstock because i couldnt take out her oversized boxing gloves, and now she beat me while i had nehushtan. god... i wish i never met that damn hamster faced chubby cheeked nerd.”

“wait, whats that crying”

Chris spies two kids talking to each other, one of them crying. Chris immediately makes an assumption, believing the big bro is bullying his sis.

“hey! stop nicking her lunch money, twerp”

Chris currently is a firm believer of corporeal punishment.

But the sister deflects the blow. Chris can’t even defeat children right now. Truly, this is a record low for her. You know you blew it when even kids are schooling you on basic morality. She then tells the little girl to stop crying, ironically mirroring her brother.

The infamous double T-Pose maneuver. Chris, you might as well get a shovel and start digging your own grave.

“i keep doing bad things badly, and now im doing good things badly... when fine said i was bad... did she just mean im not talented?”

Chris, finally, does a good thing and helps these kids find their parents.

“yeah. hibiki saved a kid when she got her gear. guess what? bam! im saving two! that’s fifty percent more kid per kid saved. take that, weirdo.”

The kids call her out on Chris singing unconsciously, and Chris gets flustered over it. Dawwwwww.

Chris manages to get them to safety to their Dad...

...while brutally lying about it, making Chris look like a predator. There’s a very crushing irony at play here, given who Chris used to serve.

“ugggggggggggggggghhhhhh hes not even gonna payyyyy meeeeeee why the fuck did i dooooo thiiiiiiissssss”

“hey, you know. you kids have a really nice relationship with one another. care to give me tips on how to be an empathetic human being capable of making friends?”

“maybe we’re born with it”

“maybe its maybeline”

“maybeline...”

Meanwhile...

A cold wind blows through Lydian Apartment 69-L. (I don’t actually know if that’s their room number, I just made it up.)

“jesus take the wheel, because i’m jumping out the passenger seat to save this current wreck of a relationship”

“miku please i saved your life, doesnt that count for anything”

“you already killed me the moment you lied. also im taking the bottom bunk so i dont have to see your face coming down the ladder.”

“miku you cant hide in this depression den forever. i know i hurt you and im sorry for it, but please understand i literally couldnt do it. you saw there were punches and violence and stuff... i didnt want you tied to that...”

“what was that? i cant hear your apologies over my incredibly loud snoring. SNOOOOOOORE. SNOOOOOOOORE. SNOOO- fuck, i just swallowed my spit, fuck”

“i hope this cocoon of displeasure you’ve made for yourself lets you erupt into a butterfly of acceptance so i can fly with you again.”

“......thats not fair. you cant say those beautiful metaphors and get away with it. let me be mad... sniff... let me be mad...”

Sadness wafts in the den of lies Hibiki has been forced into.

No music plays. There is only heartbreak, and woe.

In the midst of this pain...

Ryoko loredumps about how the Symphogears work and are immune to the noise on her blog, ‘hornyonmainforscience.org’, her hybrid science journal slash kink zone. It’s mostly a recap with some pretty good soft techno beats in it.

“i made a custom brew of red bull, five hour energy drink, coffee, and cream. i call it gamer girl piss.”

“damn. that’s some good piss.”

She muses about how Hibiki has managed to break the limitations of her Symphogear, making her a totally unique specimen. Wait, where have we heard this before...?

Hey... Ryoko... let’s just... cool it a bit with the Hibiki pictures... come on...

Ryoko touches upon the Custodians and the Curse of Babel. We ain’t touching that shit until later, because that’s another shitfuck box of crazy just ready to jump us in a dark alleyway to rob us of our wits.

Back to Lydian:

“miku whats the answer to the first three multiple choice questions”

“B. A. D.”

“oh, thanks. huh, BAD.”

“yeah. you are.”

“mmm. taste likes dissapointment. just like my life.”

“hey table for two haha get it cause there’s two chairs and miku for the love of god, please, forgive me”

“ive surgically removed my eyes and drew eyelashes over them with sharpie so i dont have to see your bird bangs.”

“thats very rude to both me and my hair. also, wig.”

Even Hibiki’s meal is judging her. Mainly for not eating it. Fucking look at this. God, that looks amazing. Fuck, why did I write this while I was hungry.

“miku you cant do this forever. i might die and youll end up crying on my tombstone going ‘oh god, why, oh god’, and really, i cant live with myself if that happens. mainly because id already be dead by then”

The Anime Janai crew show up to break some icebergs with a goddamn sledgehammer. As the self-aware Gods of this realm, they got very tired of this poor display of angst, and have decided to directly intervene.

Nevermind. They came for her kneecaps, and they most certainly got them.

PLEASE. I’M BEGGING YOU. END THIS GARBAGE PLOT THREAD.

“look. imma lay down the facts. yall are gay. yall are in love. yall are angry for the wrong reasons. its nobody’s fault here but the writer. so please kiss and make up. pretty please.”

“kaneko... you fool... we all know what the original sin is. its your hack writing making this stupidity in the first place. let the pencil go, asshole!”

They bring up the fact that Hibiki isn’t doing her work and wonder if she has a job on the side, which isn’t allowed by the school. Miku gets annoyed and bails, with Hibiki running after her. Unfortunately, Miku runs faster...

“oh god miku not the rooftop whatever you’re thinking just dont do it! please!”

“no. i came here to angst, since this is the Maximum Angst Zone.”

“i..... okay! okay, that’s fair! rooftops are the perfect place to look sad while getting proper air ventilation, thats fine”

It really would have been better played if it was played off that she felt hurt not because of the lie, but because she felt like she could have helped her better having known the truth, and it being a self-loathing sort of scenario for not being there better for her and not fully understanding the risk at play.

But no, instead, we get this.

Absolutely obliterated. A heart ripped, shredded, and sent to the Shadow Realm.

The episode ends on that note, but has a post credit scene.

Naked. On an old timey telephone. On a computer. Wearing stockings and long gloves.

The main antagonist of the series, everybody.

She’s talking the best English possible to some random-ass American when suddenly bursting through the scene is none other than:

“I WANT WORKERS COMPENSATION YOU BITCH, BEFORE I UNIONIZE YOUR NAKED ASS”

“AND I WANT A GOOD REFERNECE FOR MY FUTURE EMPLOYER, AND ALSO A SEVERANCE PACKAGE SINCE I’M FUCKING HOMELESS”

“i paint my eyelashes with mascara made from the tar of freshly carbonated corpses manufactured through noise, what on gods green earth compels you to think id give a rats ass about you?”

“so you never cared, huh! you’re just a nasty naked hedonist trying to- trying to- what the fuck are you even trying to do?!”

“i want to live the dream every spicy little fossil like me yearns for.”

“I WANNA FUCK GOD!”

“how- what? what? how do you even- what? are you- do you want to be the pope? is that it? does the pope get to fuck god? are you- is this a larping thing? you’ve really been into larping lately! i don’t like this!”

“youve never read the old testament, have you. ass out, pussy bare, hips up and barefoot. that’s how god’s always liked it.”

“now get lost, punk. you tipped off my hand to genjuro and now you being here is going to ruin everything. if you still feel any semblance of devotion, eat one of your own bullets and call it a day.”

“it’s 2012 bitch, if the mayans dont get you, I WILL”

“what god gives, He takes away, and so do i. i built you from the ground up. your relic, which was good for jack shit on you. the nehushtan, which you failed to do anything with except zap a couple hundred people. stop wars? you’re a walking war, waged by me, for me. and your cartridge has just run out of bullets.”

“uh oh! hand’s acting up again! better bail before i send you back to smacktown where all the bitter little shittalkers like you strut around spending their lives being useless as hell.”

“ah fuck, im not dealing with no manos: the hands of fate bullshit again”

“and guess what else i got on motherfucker”

“i see the union efforts have officially been busted. understandable, have a nice day ma’am”

“LEAVE.”

“I’M GOING, I’M GOING”

#symphogear #symphogear season 1 #anime #recap #comedy

[itsclydebitches]

RWBY Recaps: Volume 6. Argus Limited

This is a re-posting from Oct. 27th, 2018 in an effort to get all my recaps fully on tumblr. Thanks!

Volume Six is here, folks! I am so very, stupidly excited for this season. Heartfelt thanks go out to my friend who was all, “lol yeah sure” when I begged to use their FIRST account to watch. There are heroes in this world and they’re one of them.

A quick note about recaps from here on out: they will (my productivity willing) be uploaded sometime on Thursday or Friday proceeding the new episode. This is partly so that I’m not scrambling to post immediately afterwards—stress and bad writing all around—and partly so that, you know, we can actually recap stuff before the next episode airs. So yeah, that’s the goal.

Let’s do it!

We open on a gorgeous, snowy scene with ROOSTER TEETH PRESENTS smack dab in the middle. You know that feeling you get when you hear the Harry Potter theme at the beginning of a new film and the whole theater loses their shit? Same with Doctor Who and Star Wars? Whatever your preferred fandom, the point is I get the same chills when RWBY comes back and it’s excellent.

The animation really is gorgeous though and I sigh happily whenever I see it, thinking back to the days when cookies disappeared directly into Ruby’s mouth. There’s nostalgia, sure, but it doesn’t beat this detail.

We hear the distant sound of a train and then we’re thrown into exactly what we’ve wanted for literal years now: Team RWBY back together again, fighting not creepy adults but just some good, old fashioned grimm. They’re chimeras and… griffins? Ngl I’m not entirely sure, but they’re big, flying, fire-breathing nasties, so that’s really all we need to know. Luckily everyone falls back into old habits, easily supporting one another and executing perfect attacks (a contrast to the residual tension we’ll see in just a bit). Ruby is so busy posing after a successful kill that she misses the grimm coming at her from behind. Weiss saves her ass with a cheeky, “Thank me later!” At the end of the fight we get a reversal wherein a hit nearly sends Weiss tumbling off the side of the train, though Ruby grabs her at the last second with her own, “Thank me later!” It’s a fun little exchange made better when we think back to the Vytal Tournament. Weiss still “had her back” then too, but was more resistant to Ruby’s proclamation that they’re BFFs. Now the teasing is on both ends.

Notably, Ruby saves Weiss by taking her into her semblance, creating a cloud of rose petals that are half red, half white. Now combined with the old team-ups and some shots in the new opening, this has led a number of fans (myself included) to wonder if a WhiteRose pairing is in our future. Which also means that the ship wars are in full swing. Needless to say I’m not about that nonsense and I’ll only point out here what I said episodes back: if it’s a queer relationship with one of our main girls, and not a random side character who was previously out to murder a whole family? I’m on board.

Back in the fight though. The rest of team RNJR appears with Nora exclaiming, “Why is it always something?” God that’s a mood. Welcome to adulthood, kid. It’s just one crisis after another—except in your case the crises are objectively more dangerous. Sorry about that. We get to see Jaune’s improved reflexes as he fends off all the fireballs with his shield while Ren and Nora team up to knock some of the monsters out.

Honestly, I love this trope in action stories. Where—as Nora does here—a character just shouts out a friend’s name to get their attention and they immediately know what kind of move they’re about to pull off. It’s made more hilarious to me given that RWBY once had attack names and Jaune at least made the attempt with JNPR...but apparently they're not needed anymore. So unrealistic, yet so very cool when used.

So yeah, things are going pretty smoothly… up until Oscar yells out “Tunnel!” Ruby saves Weiss from falling, they manage to get over or between the cars, and in the sudden darkness we transition to what we only realize later is a flashback. At least, I didn’t realize it until later. Totally thought we’d had a time skip and they were just hopping another train…

My stupidity aside, before we hit the train station we actually see a familiar hallway filled with angry voices discussing the disaster at Haven—one of which is Adam’s. I really enjoyed this technique, wherein we slowly pan across the room as the voices grow more frantic and the sounds of fighting break out, the camera revealing bodies scattered across the floor. By the time we reach the throne—and Adam on it— we realize that the fight occurred prior to this moment, something that Adam is now remembering. He goes all skyward scream on us as he howls menacingly. Okay, dude. Compared to Cinder and Salem you’re really not all that.

Now we’re at the train station where Qrow is narrating a letter to Ironwood. Hell yes, please bring back the badass, protective Ironwood who defended the students at Beacon and stood up for Weiss. I’d be very pleased if he joins the RWBY gang by the Volume’s end. Qrow’s optimistic about the trip—they’ve plans to reach Ironwood before the letter does, which says either good things about Remnant’s transportation or bad things about its mail—though of course we as the audience know it’s not going to be nearly that simple. We learn that only two weeks have passed since the battle, but people are still reeling from all the implications. Lionheart tragically lost his life defending the school and oh, some students coincidentally were there and did some stuff. Excellent choice in showing us the mindless crowds while we hear this, the naive masses who, yes, would absolutely believe a story like this.

It’s easy to criticize no one supposedly noticing Salem, magic, the finger Ozpin has in every pie, etc. but ultimately people believe what they’re told—especially when it’s much easier to swallow than the truth.

Enough of the doom and gloom though. Ruby is having the time of her life.

Qrow: “What’s with the running?”

Ruby: “What’s with the standing?!”

I love this girl so very much and it’s wonderful when we get to see her acting like the kid she is. She uses her semblance with abandon because yeah, if I could turn into rose petals I’d be doing that all the time too. Ruby teases Yang with something from the gift shop and I really hope we get to see what that is. Yes, we end the episode with everyone left stranded in the wilderness, but if Yang’s bike can survive then so can Ruby’s souvenirs.

(Seriously though they presumably lost all their luggage that sucks.)

Everyone else is in top, feel-good form too. Nora daydreams about hitting the beach, complete with a thought bubble of topless Ren and a beachball. Weiss quips about how she spent all last Volume getting out of Atlas, thanks, but Ruby reassures her that at least she’s back with the team now. When two jokers arrive boasting about how they’ll be the ones keeping the train safe from grimm, Ruby and Yang act exactly as nieces should when your cool uncle is telling them off. AKA, making fun of them behind his back.

God they must have been terrors as toddlers. I mean we already know Yang carted Ruby off into the woods one day so yeah, I’m pretty confident in expressing my surprise that Tai doesn’t have a full head of gray hair.

The two Nice Guys go on to specify that they’ll provide extra protection for a “generous tip,” which—while essentially a throwaway line—reminds us how most of the world functions outside of our close-knit cast. Money, and more specifically Schnee money, quite literally dictates who lives and who dies. Not everything about RWBY is fantasy oriented…

We learn that everyone is just waiting on Blake— “as usual”—and we cut to her with Ilia as the two of them say their goodbyes. Ilia will be helping Ghira lead the Faunus in a “new movement” and is supposedly 100% on the straight and narrow now. Cool? I guess? To be honest I’m fine with her taking a back seat for this Volume. There’s a moment where we get a shot of Ilia and Blake’s feet, the former’s angled forward in a classic kiss pose, and I was super glad to see that they were just sharing a hug. I really don’t want the first LGBTQIA kiss on RWBY to be iffy on consent, considering that Ilia knows Blake isn’t interested. Hug though? That was super sweet.

Sun and Neptune show up to say their goodbyes too. They’re heading to Vacuo to meet up with the rest of their team because, in Sun’s words, he’s the “worst leader” ever. You kinda are, dude? I loved Sun up until they had him following Blake without her permission and continuing to do so after she asked for space, all in the name of the guy supposedly knowing what the girl really needs. The reminder that Sun abandoned his team to do this just reinforces how much I dislike that plot-line.

Sun gets the kiss—on the cheek—and after leaving Neptune lectures him on “letting [Blake] go.” Except it’s not about you? Blake is off to quite literally save the world and the fact that these guys view that as a threat to any potential relationship is… icky. Ugh. Oh well. They’re presumably gonna be offscreen for a while.

The train finally arrives and everyone piles in. We’re back to bunk beds! And of course Team RWBY is situated exactly as they were in Beacon’s dorms. Weiss gets annoyed with Ruby’s cloak hanging down over the side. Blake has a book in her lap. Ruby challenges Yang to a video game. Cue nostalgia. I fully expect fluffy AU fics where they ride the train all the way to Atlas and treat the trip as one giant, dramatic sleepover. This is non-negotiable.

Tension seeps back in though when Yang moves to pull her luggage from the rack and Blake immediately hops up to help her. In a super guilty “I know I fucked up and now I’m gonna smother you” way. Really excellent voice acting here. Yang ends up reassuring her. No, things aren’t perfect between them yet… but they’re definitely improving.

While short, for me this scene was perfectly balanced between acknowledging the girls’ complicated relationship without totally undermining the happy mood. Nicely done.

Then Qrow shows up with a drink. A drink with a slice of orange on the side. I have never enjoyed a moment more and I was so surprised I didn't take a screenshot of it. Clearly I was too distracted and am I too lazy to go back for one now? You betcha. The point is everything is fine, dandy, and filled with alcohol.

So of course RT goes and ruins it for me. Something hits the train and in a split second everyone is on high alert. A quick peek out the window reveals grimm and Blake mutters darkly that it’s “just my luck.”

Qrow: “Not yours.”

Are they gonna leave the safety of the train to those bozos from before? Hell no. Especially when one guy is grabbed right when the fight starts. I mean, poor dude, but he also kinda sucked as a Huntsmen. He wouldn’t have even made it past Beacon’s initiation, let alone graduated.

…I guess he’s kind of like early Jaune? Useless, wannabe hero who acts more confident than he actually is? Aw, now I really do feel bad.

He’s grimm food though. Gotta move on with our lives.

The other dude isn’t doing too well either, though RWBY and NJR + Oscar quickly show up, coming full circle to where we began the episode. Oscar insists that he’s got this fight under control which tells me (hopefully) that in the past two weeks they’ve had serious conversations about if and when Ozpin gets to have control. That’s super great, though I do wish we could have seen it. Flashbacks, maybe?

As the fight begins Ruby announces that the plan amounts to “don’t let anyone else die.” Uh...Ruby? Buddy. Pal. This is why people die. Because they didn’t have plans! Pyrrha—god rest her reckless soul—went off after a freaking Maiden by herself. Jaune got Amber killed because he didn’t obey the plan of watching the door. Lionheart frantically calls Salem with no real plan for what he’s going to offer her in exchange for his life! Plans are important, Ruby. You’re the team strategist. It was a badass line, I grant you, but please do not.

Luckily, no one (else) dies. That would have been pretty brutal for a premier. +1 point for world building where we see that trains like this have built in defenses to fight off grimm. -2 points for how useless it ends up being. As Qrow quickly points out, the turrets are drawing all the grimm to the front of the train where the passengers are. So, not good. Oscar is charged with telling the surviving goon to knock it off already while Qrow faces off against the super fierce chimera grimm. Not gonna lie though, when its tail first started up I thought Qrow was getting attacked by a dove…

This time when we hit the tunnel everyone makes it back safely inside with the exception of Goon #2 who gets his arm injured in the scramble. He’s literally crying on the ground when, in a pretty harsh move, Qrow drags him up and demands to know what the hell all that was. Civility and benefit of the doubt? Not Qrow’s strong points. It allows Ruby to take control of the situation though. How do you make sure that your cast of kids is continually calling the shots?  A) isolate them and B) when you can’t do that have the adults act like children instead. We see that a fair bit in RWBY.  

Jaune steps in to heal the guy’s arm, which is an unexpected surprise. I honestly thought we'd get a whole Volume’s worth of him figuring out how to access and control his semblance, though I suppose once it manifests you’ve got the basics down. We’ve seen that semblances can be improved upon—Ruby turning other people she carries into petals; Ren dampening the emotions of a whole train—so presumably Jaune will be able to heal more complex and life-threatening things in the future. We also hear in the ensuing conversation that he can amplify someone else’s aura…to be decided what exactly that means, how it connects to healing, and what the limits of the skill is.

During some theorizing about the attack Ozpin brings up that grimm are attracted to the relic they’re carrying and… oh boy. Here we go. Is it tradition that every recap the fandom goes for Ozpin’s throat while I stand here defending him? Might be. Let’s create a (semi) comprehensive list:

This might have been less of a secret and more of a slip. The guy is thousands of years old and the forces they’re dealing with are stupidly complicated. He can’t info dump every detail of a multi-century war in one sitting. So—

He might have thought this was one of those innocuous things that shouldn’t take precedent right now. Not the sort of thing he needs to worry them with. He claims in the promo that he didn't lie to the group and he quite possibly didn't. There's a big difference between lying and not telling someone every single possible thing that might be pertinent. Especially when—

We know that grimm are already attracted to people/negative emotion and they’re sequestered within a whole train full of presumably stressed travelers. There’s no reason to think the artifact would put them in more danger than they already are and therefore isn't at the top of the list of revelations to dole out. Especially with—

Qrow and his bad luck semblance. He literally just implied that the grimm were there because of him. There’s a reason he didn’t want Ruby near him during the fight with Tyrian and now they’re all stuck together in close quarters. The grimm were coming anyway. Even if we didn't have Qrow's semblance and big crowds we can also assume as much because of—

Those turrets. They weren’t there for a fashion statement. The whole train was crazy armored. They’re clearly very used to getting attacked on this route. It's a normal thing.

All of which is to say that the relic is one of MANY reasons why they might have gotten a buttload of grimm on their tail. Ozpin mentions this as one possibility in a very “Here’s something else to consider” way and everyone (characters and fandom alike) jump on him like he’s solely responsible for this predicament. Besides, what would they have done differently? Not carry the relic? That’s not an option. Be more on guard? They’re already constantly on guard. None of their actions would have changed had they known.

Really though, it’s the keeping of secrets that people are mad about, not necessarily what the secret is. So if we ignore the possibility above that Ozpin legit didn’t think this was worth mentioning/even forgot about it, we have a) he withheld the information because it might have made them wary about traveling with others, but they need to get to Atlas as fast as possible and the train is the best way to do that. So yeah, that’s a possible change, though I agree with Ozpin’s theoretical logic here. It was worth the risk.

b) he didn’t tell them because—again—worry is a negative emotion and that might have just doubled their problem. Awful as it is, knowing you're carrying a thing that might attract more grimm is one of the best ways to make sure that you do, in fact, attract them. Knowing what the relic does is dangerous. 

c) he doesn’t trust them with all the information about these super powerful relics that are going to decide the fate of their world. Which honestly? Kind of fair. Yeah, I know he promised them no more secrets, but this is a centuries old, god-like entity making a promise to a child. It’s not even really a matter of trust anymore. We’ve got a core group of nine here and everyone has someone else they’re close to. Ruby isn’t going to keep secrets from Tai. Blake will probably fill Sun in when she sees him again. Weiss is close to her sister. Etc. In short, as soon as this many people know a secret it isn't a secret anymore. Ozpin is no doubt aware that anything he tells to their now massive group is fair game and he has to carefully consider what he wants to risk going public/landing in Salem's hands. A general doesn't tell every lieutenant the details of every plan. That's a good way to lose the war. Fate of the world vs. a promise made to Yang? C’mon. There are priorities here.

d) finally, we’ve seen evidence—particularly after the iconic food fight—that Ozpin desperately wants his students to be kids as long as they can. He might keep information to himself simply because he doesn’t want to burden them. And given all the reasons listed above for why they'd be dealing with grimm anyway, what's the harm in giving them what little peace he can? It's not perfect reasoning and if this is the case the others have a right to be annoyed, but it's understandable. It certainly doesn't make Ozpin the monster I see countless posts painting him as.

Plus, Yang? I’m not sure you have the right to get indignant about keeping secrets right now. Granted, there’s some ambiguity surrounding whether she’s mentioned Raven as the Spring Maiden, but regardless we haven’t seen any evidence that she’s told the group the details of what happened down in the vault. That’s a pretty big thing to be keeping to yourself.

A lot bigger than, “Oh yeah this relic attracts the thing we’re attracting anyway. My bad.”

Why the relic attracts grimm is another question. Because it’s connected to the original brothers? Just because Salem wants it and she seems to be the grimms’ creator? We’ll have to see.

Ruby interrupts everyone’s fury to point out that they have bigger issues at the moment and Ozpin’s expression kind of kills me? He looks so shocked to have anyone standing up for him, even if it’s a defense of practicality instead of his actions. I wonder if this Volume is going to have the team starting to lose a little faith in Ruby. Given the clear divide here (angry Ren, Nora, Weiss, Yang, and Blake on one side; Ruby, Oscar, Ozpin on the other) this might be a major theme moving forward. It would make a lot of sense too given Ruby's past relationship with Ozpin. To Yang he's just her headmaster; to Ruby he's the headmaster that let her into her dream school early. To Blake he's someone who wanted information from her before she was ready to give it; to Ruby he's the adult who gave her advice at the dance and was emotionally open with her about committing more mistakes "than any man, woman, or child." No matter how far she's come, they'll always be a part of Weiss that sees Ozpin as the teacher who didn't give her the leadership position she thought she deserved; to Ruby he's the man that has put a staggering amount of trust in her: by letting her into his school, giving her a team, sending her to Mountain Glenn, etc.

Now, it might be time for Ruby to put her trust in Ozpin.

Fight temporarily averted, they decide to separate the teams… which felt a little forced to me. I mean I get it. As said, giant group. It’s hard to write and keep track of that many, so let’s knock three offstage for a while. Jaune, Ren, and Nora will see the people to safety while Ruby and the rest of the gang eventually catch up. We get a glimpse of Maria—the old lady with awesome glasses—clearly plotting something and then everyone heads back to the roof to finish the fight with the grimm.

Blake has a quick vision of Adam; the last time she separated a train car. Excellent touch there. Ruby tells Ren to use his semblance through the scroll, but we also get a glimpse of their signals getting weaker. Another nice touch considering how important we know the scrolls are throughout the RWBY universe: how the team keeps in contact during the Volume Four short, the damage that the fall of the CCT tower has caused, etc.

We get a final, epic showdown with a massive grimm where everyone’s teamwork proves to be some top tier stuff. Blake and Yang capture it using Blake’s ribbon. Weiss freezes off its wings. Then—in a fantastic split screen—Ruby and Qrow both use their scythes to cut the creature in two. I’m here for the power family moves.

Only problem is that a final fireball from the grimm hits the train, derailing their section. Weiss keeps them all from dying an awful death, but now they’re kind of stranded.

I mean, they already were stranded before, but I guess the hope was the back of the train would have carried them farther down the tracks before losing momentum?

In the final scene we have an unexpected voice happily proclaiming that they’re still alive but boy, that was a close one! Maria hobbles out, having clearly planned to be with this group when they went their own way.

My personal theory? She knows (and to some extent recognizes) Ozpin. I can’t believe he wasn’t involved in a conflict like the Great War. Hell, he was probably at the center of it and Maria looks very old by RWBY standards. We have no concept of how long people in this world can live so I don’t think it’s a stretch to put her in her 90s or well over 100—old enough to have fought in the War and potentially recognize one of the central figures, even in a new reincarnation depending on her instincts, knowledge, and semblance. Her name lends a bit of credence to her age, if nothing else. As far as I know “Maria” doesn’t mean/isn’t evocative of a color… though I’m far from an expert. Could totally be wrong about that.

Regardless, we’ll see. More info arrives next week!

Other Details of Note

The grimm are at a distance when we first spot them and they actually look a lot like crows. The same motif we’ve seen with Raven and Qrow’s entrances but, you know, bad.

I really liked Qrow’s line to Ironwood about how they’re bringing “more than bad news.” It’s appropriately vague—can’t go admitting that Oz is back with the group—and at the same time quite up-lifting.

I personally take Ozpin’s “I hope they’re not from Beacon” as more of a joke than a true worry. If you’re telling me that this old as balls control freak doesn’t remember every student that’s ever passed through those doors… I don’t believe you.

When Blake is saying goodbye to Ilia and Sun we have lots of animation for her ears, helping to express her emotions. It says a lot about her character development that she hasn’t re-adopted the bow in such a crowded, human packed space.

Neptune is pursuing the “wrong tree” okay lol that was good.

When Neptune and Sun discuss re-uniting the team we briefly hear the soundtrack from their Vytal Festival match. Excellent.

Interestingly, Oscar gives Ozpin control immediately during the conversation about the relic, almost like he already knew what was going to be revealed and understood that it was important… I wonder how much they’re sharing thoughts now, two weeks later.

Here, have a beach Ren and happy birb. Yes, I went back for the screenshots...

#rwby #rwby spoilers #mymetas #RWBY Recaps

[clarascuro]

Clara Reads City of Bones Part 3: Hogwarts Institute for Witchcraft and Shadowhunting

The Plot Thus Far

When last we left off, our lovable cardboard cutout protagonist, Clary Fray, had been attacked by a demon called a Ravener and taken to a place called “The Institute”. After three days of recovery, she has an uncomfortable (for us) conversation with Isabelle Lightwood, where we learn that Isabelle is hot and that we, the audience, should hate her for that, and also that Jace Wayland lives with the Lightwood family because his parents are dead. We are meant to feel bad about this. We are meant to feel sorry for Jace, which is a bit of a tall order, considering that Jace Wayland is the worst person to ever smirk and shrug his way through a YA book. If I were trapped in an elevator with him I wouldn’t even wait five minutes to be rescued, I’d pry those doors open and just drop. Death is cruel but quality time with Jace Wayland is crueler. 

So Clary leaves the hospital wing and goes down a long hallway, lead by the sound of someone playing a piano. Last time I said that it was Alec (Isabelle’s brother) who played piano, and that it was his only character trait, but nope!! It’s actually my favorite boy Jace, that sack of human refuse! So I guess Alec has no personality, actually. Anyway, they have some “witty” “banter”, and then Alec takes her to the library to talk to the head of the Institute, Hodge Starkweather, and, yeah. I think it’s time to talk about the Harry Potter stuff. 

The Harry Potter Stuff

You know how E.L. James made minor changes to her crappy Twilight fanfic and then published it as 50 Shades of Gray? Well, as near as anyone can figure out, this is basically the same thing that Cassandra Clare did with her Harry Potter fanfic The Draco Trilogy. Just change the names, tweak the backstories ever so slightly, slap on a crappy cover and publish that sucker! It’s technically not plagiarism anymore! This is how you end up with stuff like "The Institute”, a secret school to teach young magic kids to control their powers, or Hodge Starkweather, elderly magic professor, who, one could argue, is a crackpot old fool teaching our protagonists magic tricks. (Gosh, how does Clare come up with this stuff?) 

This obviously isn’t proof of any kind, but when the villain of your story is named “Valentine” and he’s an evil magic user who has been dead for sixteen years (the age of our secretly magic protagonist) and the main characters are afraid to even say his name...yeah, it doesn’t exactly take a genius to figure out where all of this comes from. 

Now all this is frustrating, but it’s also hilarious. I mean, the big bad of the story is called Valentine. VALENTINE. And I actually laughed out loud for several minuted when I first read the name “Hodge Starkweather” to myself. I still get a little chuckle typing this. Oh, and since the word “muggle” would have JK Rowling’s lawyers on her ass faster than light, the word Cassandra Clare uses for non-magic people is...”Mundie”. It’s short for “mundane”. Like...first of all this is objectively hilarious. Second, mundane just means “normal”. If the Shadowhunter society is magical, then aren’t they they mundane ones? I know humans don’t have magic, but we still figured how to like, fly and stuff. That has to count for something. If I saw a dog that taught himself how to read, I wouldn’t like, make fun of him for not also being able to talk. I’d be like “Shit! That’s a pretty impressive fucking dog!” like what the fuck?

Anyway, this is all just a roundabout way to say that obviously this used to be a HP fic that through some twist of fate landed a publishing deal. And you know, it’s not as brain-meltingly bad as 50SoG, so who cares? Cassandra Clare’s just having fun, so who cares if her writing gets published? 

Well...

The Plagiarism

So, yeah, she plagiarized lot. Like a lot. The Draco Trilogy has lines of dialogue taken directly from shows like Red Dwarf, Black Adder, and Buffy the Vampire Slayer, as well as from Neil Gaiman and Terry Pratchett novels. Quoting shows apparently used to be pretty common in the early days of fanfiction, so there is context to consider here, but it gets worse. Cassandra Clare lifted almost a whole chapter, nearly word for word, from an out-of-print fantasy series called The Hidden Land, by Pamela Dean. On top of that, Clare was sued in 2016 by author Sherrilyn Kenyon, whose Darkhunter series predates Clares Shadowhunters series. (And for the record, Clare’s series was originally titled Darkhunters. Yikes.) You guys can read the full(ish) stories here and here.

I Guess I Have To Keep Talking About The Plot Now

Sigh. So after Hodge Starkweather (A+ naming there) tells them about Valentine, he explains that Shadowhunters are angel-human hybrids? Or something? They’re special, and they fight demons. Also faries, vampires, werewolves, all that stuff exists. We’re stuck with the Shadowhunters, however, because God has punished me for my hubris, and my work is never done. (Oh look, I just plagiarized Brian David Gibert. I’m a real author now, like Cassandra Clare!) The Shadowhunters were started thousands of years ago by a man named, I shit you not, Jonathan Shadowhunter. JONATHAN. FUCKING. SHADOWHUNTER. Why the fuck am I trying to come up with clever names for my characters? I should just name them all “Alex Clarasbook” and call it a fucking day. Fuck.

Anyway after a thrilling conversation with Alec-Who-Has-No-Personality, we find out that he does have a personality! His personality is that he hates humans. Oh, excuse me, “mundies.” Yep, that’s the best way to make a character relatable. Just make ‘em fucking racist. It’s okay though, it’s only magical racism so it evens out. Have I mentioned that this story has no poc?

(Oh also Clary’s mom was a Shadowhunter, but 1. I hate Clary                        and 2. literally a newborn baby could’ve figured that out, so)

Clary and Jace leave the Institute to go back to Clary’s house, and Clary slaps Jace, an act that brings me such joy that only the birth of my firstborn child will ever eclipse it, and even then, it will be it close tie. The moment is quickly over, however, as Clary immediately feels bad about it, because again, she is not a character. She’s a Walmart mannequin created for Jace to make out with. Then she sees two girls looking at Jace, and, in what can only be called the true essence of the book, “Clary turned instant traitor against her gender.” Just as a reminder, Clary sucks.

Anyway they get to her house, kill a giant, talk to a witch, yaddah yaddah yaddah. Basically nothing happens except the inevitable unraveling of my mental processes. I had to stop reading there because I have better things to do with my life besides destroying the few braincells I have left. I’ll post the next part soon, as soon as I can read more than five pages without wanting to fling the book off a seaside cliff into the frothing mist that obscures the swell and crash of the unforgiving waves. Until then, please enjoy some of my favorite bad lines.

Selected Passages (And Commentary)

“Jace chuckled. Clary could tell that he had come up behind her and was standing there with his hands in his pockets, grinning that infuriating grin of his.”                                                                                                             (She knew all that without looking?)

“Attacked. Clary wondered if this was a euphemism for ‘murdered’.”            (Clary you’re literally the dumbest person I’ve ever met.)

“Clary let out a breath she hadn’t realized she’d been holding in.”                  (This may just be me being petty, but I hate this cliche so much.)

“‘You may be the only guy my age I’ve ever met who knows what bergamot is, much less that it’s in Earl Grey tea.”                                                                   (Ah yes, that famous stereotype, that boys don’t know about tea. Oh, you like tea? Name three kinds. I hear sexist gatekeeping is a real problem in the tea community. I am not having a good time.)

“Dorothea chuckled. ‘It’s good to see a young woman eat her fill. In my day, girls were robust, strapping creatures, not twigs like they are nowadays.’ ‘Thanks,’ Clary said. She thought of Isabelle’s tiny waist and felt suddenly gigantic.”                                                                            (Cassandra Clare’s super feminist, guys. You can tell because she’s always pitting her female characters against each other.)

Rating So Far

3/10-Bad. Jonathan Shadowhunter gets an entire 10/10. I’m going to have my name legally changed to Jonathan Shadowhunter.

#Clara Reads City of Bones #city of bones #shadowhunters #the mortal instruments #come at me i wanna fight

[knightofbalance-13]

http://saltwukong.tumblr.com/post/177992323986/rwby-actually-has-poc-representation-you-dolts

You know, even a newbie can kick your asses.

For the sake of saving space, I cut the gifs out of your post and edited the format. Anyway here’s why you’re the most wrong person to ever be wrong. I’m going to give you a list much like the “doing LGBT rep” thing I did a little while ago, in fact it’s pretty much identical.

Translation: watch me bullshit out of my ass.

If your “poc rep” falls into any of these categories:

unimportant/background

villain

dead

whitewashed

You get no points whatsoever. You have no representaton. Shame on you

A. Doesn’t matter

B. Doesn’t matter

C. Doesn’t matter

And D. Is always misused.

Not to mention you didn’t explain how this doesn’t count. And no, it doesn’t work with ‘racism’ because I can find an equvilanet in white people.

So each time you just throw someone into one of the ‘doesn’t matter’ categories, you lose a point. You are erasing representation. Sucks to be you. Oh, and double points for the ‘Is always misused’ category.

So how many of the characters you just outlines pass this test?

Dunno, how many of yoru arguments make you sound like a racist by your own standards?

There is no RWBY equivalent. Besides, even if them having Chinese names had weight, they’re still white as fuck. Yang and Tai are blond and blue-eyed as fuck, and Raven can only barely be called Asian-coded because of her dress and choice of swordplay–both of which are ripped directly from Adam Taurus, who isn’t the least bit Asian-coded. “Whitewashed” is in full effect here. So no, these characters don’t pass the test.

Not whitewashing as that requires the original to be anything but white. So -2 points.

Oh wait, Asian people are alos known to be light skin. Double points for racism. so -4 for you.

You’re knee-capping yourself. You not only admitted she’s white, but headcanons don’t count.

So your headcanon of “RT is racist” doesn’t count?

Ding dong, you are wrong.

“Racial parallel” does not actually equal “non-white”, especially when there actually are non-white people in the show. Blake gets a 0 for representation.

BZZZT! 

Skin color doesn’t matter in Remnant so your argument is invalid since it requires Remnant to work by OUR definitions which it doesn't.

Also you didn’t explain WHY it doesn’t equal. So double points.

1 - -6 You are losing.

You don’t. Lie Ren is Asian-coded, heavily so, and his features and name all match. He’s not whitewashed, dead, a villain, or unimportant, so he gets a pass. We’re 1/6 on your supposedly poc characters right now.

And you're at -6 of your so called ‘right’ points. You ain’t one to talk.

Yatsuhashi Daichi is also very Asian-coded without being whitewashed, dead, or a villain. He is, however, incredibly unimportant. He smashed a few Grimm, got beat up by Mercury, and then no one had any more reason to care about him. He does not qualify for representation per the rules we laid out. 1/7.

Doesn’t matter

2 - -7

Aside from the fact that this is just as invalid as Blake was, I have some information from you: you can’t represent poc with white people that are abused and harassed. You can represent them with ethnic features that actually have more variety to them than the standard barrel of white characters allows. Velvet does not do that, so she does not qualify.

Doesn’t matter and you don’t explain why.

3 - -9

That almost becomes amusing, but doesn’t quite make it, considering you go on to try and tell me how those very white villains are also poc.

At any rate, her being a villain is absolutely important. Black people are tired of being the villains just like gay people are. That is nil for representation. It breaks the rule, so it doesn’t qualify.

Equality is equality bitch, there are white villians too.

So double points for double standards.

4 - -11

Sometimes I think I’m too confrontational and rude, and should make more of an effort to come across as nice rather than an asshole. Then this sort of dumbassery pops up and reminds me that I’m fine the way I am.

And yet I’m a racist for calling out your bigotry and lies.

First off, narrowed eyes are not an Asian trait. “Slanted” eyes are, and while Ren and Yatsuhashi have them, Tyrian does not. If this were an Asian trait, Mercury, Torchwick would also be Asian, and you pointedly did not list them. Narrowed eyes are a character designer’s way of saying that this person is a bit more serious than the more animesque or bubbly characters like the main team, who all have very large eyes that mimic the style. Long hair? That damn sure isn’t an Asian trait. Weiss, step forward.

Also, you dumbass, he’s white as fuck and, at best, is from Vacuo.

Also Fanaus

5 - -12

For reference ya’ll, since I removed the gif, here it is again so you can see Arthur Watts’ reflection in a dark, red, glassy orb that obviously doesn’t make him look darker than he actually is. That’s the gif rwdebitch chose to go with.

Actual good point.

5 - -11

Not to mention he’s from Atlas, which is so far coded as “land of white people and that one meme team who aren’t”. Here’s a gif of him next to Cinder in broad daylight.

two women on each edge are clearly not white so coding is bullshit.

In fact, why don’t we go ahead and take off a point for each use of the world ‘coding’ as an argument to showcase how bullshit it is?

5 - -17

Darker than her, admittedly, but that isn’t saying much. There’s also the fact that he’s coded as English. I’d say we could give him half a point, but he’s a villain. So he doesn’t qualify anyway. We’re 1/11 and the record is only going to get worse.

You’re right-

You just showed racism against mixed race people by your logic.

Also another instance of coding.

And you fail to explain how he’s English ‘coded.’

5 - -20

Hazel looks like my lumberjack uncle who visits seedy bars. Yeah, his skin is darker than others’….but he breaks the same rule that Tyrian, Watts, and Cinder do. In fact, why don’t I go ahead and say it: even if you were right about all these villains being POC (and literally the only villains you don’t try to twist POC are Torchwick, who’s dead, Neo, who’s gone, and Salem, who’s the color of snow), that would be worse. A team full of villains who want to wreck the world and they’re all nonwhite? No thank you.

You did Cinder a little later but I’m doing her early to match the other villains.

Don’t explain why, has show to be a liar and admits that the leader of the group of ‘non whites’ is white.

6 - -20

The only point you’re gonna get here is the part where Monty said that. Because no, narrow eyes, as we already pointed out on Tyrian, aren’t an Asian trait, and you’re confusing that for slanted eyes. Her costumes are no more influenced by Asian culture than the basketball shorts I’m wearing. But yes, despite her pale appearance, Monty did indeed imply she’s Asian.

She’s still a villain.

And guess what? Monty’s Asian. So it means he was fine with it, which goes to show your villain point flies in the face of what some people want.

And again, equality bitch.

7 - -22

He has a tan, you dumbass. He’s a Chinese-inspired character with a Chinese name, who looks like a surfer from California considering his blond hair, blue eyes, and coastal tan. Got all that? We call it “whitewashing”, so he breaks the rule, too.

Except many interpretations of Son Wukong portray him as light haired. Including other Japanese media.

Also not whitewashing because Sun is his own character.

AND he’s a fanaus so it STILL doesn’t matter.

8 - -25

Besides. He’s also unimportant as fuck, a fact I’m very upset about. All he’s around to be is Blake’s love interest, which is the only thing that saved him from vanishing into the void with his team, who haven’t been mentioned.

You know...

Aside from saving Blake against the WF in Volume 1...

And getting illa’s scroll in Volume 4...

And protecting Blake in Volume 5...

Huh, you seem pretty quick to devalue the efforts of minority characters.

1) I have a question for you–why do you keep saying all these pale people are dark-skinned?

2) HE’S FUCKING BLOND, WHITE, AND BLUE-EYED. SO YES, YOU’RE GONNA HAVE TO EXPLAIN THIS ONE TO ME. LOOK AT THE GIF DIRECTLY ABOVE THESE WORDS.

He’s whitewashed, so he breaks the rule.

Because minorities are all dark skinned! yep, Asians don’t exist at all!

8 - -26

Huh, I didn’t think Qrow had long hair. Or are you talking about another feature that blatantly isn’t Asian, on a white character?

Yeah, they said ‘non white’. Not the same thing. Point would have worked then.

On top of the fact that I already told you Raven is just a genderswapped Adam, I’m gonna blow your mind–she’s still white. Just like everyone else on this list. Is she a white-passing Asian? Perhaps, but considering all the other people who are white on this list you tried to tell me were Asian, I’m not gonna trust your judgment on that matter.

And considering you unironically used fucking white passing as an argument, you’re lucky I don’t just double the negative points you have.

Even missed out how their last name is Welsh.

8 - -27

Hmmmm, you’re gonna have to–because Flynt Coal is a character literally created after a meme, to be marginally important as an enemy for one episode and never be important again. Like all the Vytal Tournament characters. You could’ve done better by putting Arslan Altan on here–at least not only is her skin tone dark, but her style of dress and fighting are also eastern as well. She’d still fall into the same “unimportant” hole though.

And you’re gonna have to explain why I should care.

I didn’t care when shows like Boondocks and Black Dynamite did this to white people, why should I care here?

9 - -28

Ooh, this one is especially bad. Yeah, you got the dark-skinned part right, but guess what else he also is?

A villain

Dead

So he doesn’t pass, either!

So is Torchwick, who is white.

No dice.

10 - -30

Neptune is based on a Greek god! I hope you’re not another person who thinks Greeks aren’t white. Because they are. I’ll admit to him being darker-skinned, but that doesn’t look so good considering how we outlined Sun being whitewashed and still tanned.

You can make a case for him being Asian-coded based on how he’s Sun’s partner and the original Sun Wukong’s partner was also, obviously, Chinese. But that’s about it. A reach at best, whitewashing at worst.

He’s also never been important, in the scale of the small plots or the large one. He fails on two fronts. So he doesn’t represent either.

Exact opposite of what OP was saying.

Coded penalty.

And not explained.

11 - -33

I’m neither, thanks. But I also don’t look to characters who got one line, never got to do anything of importance, and whose only moment to shine was against a stationary opponent who couldn’t move, for representation. I don’t think most poc RWBY fans would, either.

No, calling you dumb is an insult to dumb people. You’re willfully ignorant.

Also: I considering the number of people who love Sage, you’re wrong. Oh and seeing as you tried speaking for my best friend, double points.

You are right. I could make a case for him being unimportant, since he basically exists literally for white Ozpin to project himself from, but as far as RWBY goes, he doesn’t break any of the rules. Record is so far 2/20. One tenth of the characters you’ve proposed to be poc representation actually are poc representation.

A. Ozpin has no race since he takes on the race of whoever he inhabits.

And B. You’re at 12 - -34. They are 46 points ahead of you.

She’s also a villain who nearly kills one of the other supposedly-poc characters here. She doesn’t pass. Nor does she pass as LGBT rep, for the same reasons. 2/21.

Doesn’t explain why on either end.

13 - -36

If you reach any further, you’ll touch God himself. [clears throat]

YOU CAN’T SAY THAT A PALE-SKINNED CHARACTER WHO MIGHT HAVE EYES THAT ARE SLANTED IF WE SOMEDAY SEE WHAT HIS FACE LOOKS LIKE, IS POC. THAT’S LIKE SAYING HEY, SUN MIGHT NOT BE STRAIGHT, SO HE’S GAY REPRESENTATION!

And I already outlined why race parallel =/= poc representation, so please stop using that as your platform

And I explained how that’s jackshit. still doesn’t work/

14 - -38

Right you are! It’s a shame she got killed off without a fight 5 minutes after her interesting introduction, a move that incited so much anger she got a posthumous fight scene that was busy trying to salvage someone else’s character.

She’s dead. Guess what that means? Representation test failed!

And Roman is dead too. As are a lot of white characters. Guess what that means? Doesn’t count!

15 - -40

His eyes look the same as every other heroic character’s eyes you dim-witted motherfucker, now quit hurting your arm like tha

Qrow.

Out of the twenty-three characters you listed, most of them were white as snow and their gifs were immediately followed by reaching and twisting to try to make them non-white representation, which doesn’t work. Out of the twenty-three characters listed, only two actually were nonwhite without falling into one of the pitfalls laid out at the beginning.

And of the pitfalls you listed, none were explained and all of which white characters also fell into as well so it still works.

You also disregard all but two fanaus characters for skin color despite them being the minority equivalent in Remnant.

Rooster Teeth is looking pretty damn racist. Now go away.

Actually you came out of this looking racist, especially for bitching at RT for them treating minority characters like all other characters.

Or can white supremacists call racism over white characters dying now?

Despite OP being a newbie, you completely lost. You fell into every pitfall they did and didn’t but even fucking harder. Congrats, in yoru own words, a reaching dumbass can beat you in an argument.

#saltwukong

[micahrodney]

Thread; Chapter 5 - Fantasyland

This was a commission for MatthewCaveatZealot. There was a terribly familiar thump as Neil's head hit the ceiling above his bed. The same precariously rigged alarm clock on his loft bed was blaring, and the disorientation that came with it. Neil wanted to believe that what he had experienced was a dream, but he knew better by now. He was awake, for certain, but he had not truly been asleep.

The question now was how he made it back to his dorm room, though he feared the answer was obvious. Another day or so of him running on “autopilot”. Let alone what that must have been like for his family.

His family. God, he missed them so much right now. In the past week, his universe had expanded a thousand-fold, entirely against his will. All Neil wanted was the safe surroundings of his old family home. He wanted Travis's insufferable theatre music blasting at all hours of the night. He missed Dawn spending every hour of the night playing on the NES they had. Just as comforting were the random pop-ins from Kim, and the sight of his father hard at work, with papers sprawled all over the coffee table.

He wanted his mother. Just his mother being there. Her presence.

The hole in his heart was warmed by a bit of metal. It was then that Neil noticed that he was wearing an amulet of sorts. It was on a chain of silver and ended in a pendant made of some otherworldly metal. It shone as brightly as freshly pressed steel but had faint transparency to it. Etched into it with crystalline blue lines were several stars, connected by points: the Crossroads, of course. Roughly, they formed a constellation similar in appearance to the Southern Cross.

“Can you hear me?” Rem asked, directly into his mind. 

As the Somni spoke, the blue lines glowed faintly.

“Yeah,” Neil replied, dazedly. “Are you going to explain this?” 

“We simply moved this one to a more convenient position along this thread. But fear not, you are in your original world, as Nox promised,” Rem explained. “To this one's family, the transition was natural. That is to say, this one did not do anything untoward or unexpected in its absence.” 

“If we're going to be communicating regularly,” Neil said, exasperated. “You could try being a little easier to understand.”

“What does this one mean?” Rem asked, as patiently as Neil had ever heard him. 

“For starters, you could stop calling me 'this one.' You know, use 'you' and 'your',” Neil replied. 

Rem waited for a moment to respond as if he were trying to wrap his head around the new mode of communication. “Very well. Neil. I will attempt to speak more plainly to... you.”

“I appreciate the effort,” Neil praised faintly. 

“It is difficult for me,” Rem added. “Somni are not accustomed to dealing with other races. Your presence is honestly slightly confusing to me. It upsets our natural order.”

“Well, I can't exactly stop existing to make things convenient for you,” Neil retorted, thinking back to their first exchange where he had nearly been reduced to atoms by his soon-to-be mentor. 

“Indeed not,” Rem agreed. “Now are we going to spend the rest of the day discussing our feelings on the matter, or shall we get down to business?”

Rem was consistent, Neil had to give him that.

“Alright, boss,” Neil said, leaning his head back against his pillow. “What's the game plan?”

“The Crossroad we are concerned with is a crucial event that will take place this evening at your friend Damian's house. Something will happen, we know not what, but you must be there to witness it occur,” Rem explained. 

“Wait, that's it?” Neil asked. “You don't have any more information than that?” 

“We observe only the surface level information about these changes. I may as well ask you about the inner workings of an ant colony. It is up to you to be at the right place at the right time. The event should be significant enough that you will not mistake it if that is any consolation,” Rem said, without any sign of sympathy. 

“Cool,” Neil sighed. “And then what am I supposed to do?” 

“Binders can read the movement of the Crossroads and correct their course. When you finally do enter the critical moment your perception of events will be rather metaphysical,” Rem began. Here, for the first time ever, his tone softened somewhat, though it retained every ounce of its original rigidity. “The experience can be quite frightening. Just know that I will be watching over you and you will not be in any personal danger. However, if you fail-”

“I get it,” Neil cut him off firmly. He didn't need to be told. Thousands of timelines erased in an instant. Trillions of lives cut short. 

“Good,” Rem uttered. “Now what is your plan?” 

“I just have to get to Damian's house, and I know the perfect way to get there.”

---

Angie stirred her coffee idly as she listened to Neil's proposal. The tiny booth at The Junction was not an ideal location for the chat, but it was her lunch break and the poor boy seemed so desperate. It was quiet enough for two in the afternoon, with a drizzle keeping most people off the streets.

“So you finally want to join my game?” Angie summarized. 

“Yeah, I mean,” Neil rubbed the back of his neck. His own coffee was barely touched, but the aroma was satisfying and kept him alert. “Damian always talks about how great it is.”

“Normally I wouldn't let you just pop in last second. I mean our session starts in like four hours,” Angie began. “But honestly Jack and Violet can't make it tonight so it will probably be a good one for you to test out the waters a bit.” 

Neil knew about Jack and Violet but was not familiar with them personally. Honestly the fewer unfamiliar faces the better for his purposes.

“Is this just about the game?” Angie asked, leaning into Neil slightly across the table. There was a peculiar expression on her face which Neil couldn't read. 

“What do you mean?” Neil asked, somewhat defensively. He had made the decision to wear a blue sweater today and he felt like he was drowning in it under her gaze. 

“I mean... a little birdie told me about Erica,” Angie replied, tilting her head slightly. “Do you wanna talk about it?” 

In all that had happened over the past week, Neil had completely forgotten about Erica. The girl he loved for years, and who broke his heart completely out of nowhere. He guessed he should still be feeling sad about that, and yet when the fate of the multiverse was at stake, a young romance seemed pretty insignificant.

“Oh, well yeah,” Neil shrugged. “I mean, I'm okay and all. It was just so sudden.” 

“Take it from me, breakups suck, but they also just kind of... happen, you know?” Angie said, leaning back in her seat. “It'll hit you every once in a while. You'll get reminded of them and what you had, and then, boom, you're crying into your pillow again for no good reason. But it gets easier, bud.” 

Neil coughed uncomfortably. He wasn't sure how to process this new and unsolicited advice. Naturally, his brain defaulted to asking the worst possible question.

“You've had a breakup recently too, huh?” 

Angie rolled her eyes at him. “Tactful.”

“Sorry, I'm just really bad at this,” Neil laughed. 

“Utterly hopeless. Too bad I can't teach you how to talk to women since that requires a brain,” Angie teased. 

The two chuckled nervously and there was a brief silence, during which a thousand possible conversations could have happened if either party knew what to say. Neil wondered for a moment how many different threads had just been created at this moment involving either of them being just a little bolder.

“So who all will be at Damian's place tonight?” Neil asked, as casually as he could manage. 

“Trying to meet somebody?” Angie teased. 

Neil blushed slightly. “I mean, I just wanna get a sense of the crowd, you know. Usually, when I'm at Damian's house it's just his folks and kid sister. And they have a pretty quiet household usually. It's-”

“Settle down, champ,” Angie said, knocking her fist on the table to get Neil's attention. “It's gonna be Damian, Ash, and Victoria. And now you, I guess. Which reminds me, do you already have a character created?” 

“Oh, uh,” Neil's blush intensified. Perhaps this was a bad idea after all. 

“Hang on, I always carry the Rules Cyclopedia with me in my backpack. Hope you don't have any plans for the next hour and a half,” Angie chuckled. 

---

Damian's house, or more accurately his father's house, was practically a castle. The post-modern nightmare was rigid white walls with wide bay windows and a wrap-around patio. It looked more like the office space of some high-tech startup than it did a residential home. To complete the effect, the home was surrounded by twelve acres of dense woodlands with neatly lined cobblestone paths. If Damian's dad had the power, he would have evicted the animals too. 

The main ground-floor living space was technically called the “sunroom” but all the shades had been drawn and track-lighting illuminated a rectangular mahogany table. Six comfortable leather desk chairs were arranged around the promising assortment of battle maps, books, bowls full of various flavors of chips, soda bottles, and even a tray of deviled eggs, courtesy of Damian's mother.

Angie sat at the head of the table, a beautifully illustrated dungeon master's screen creating a sense of distance between her and the players. She had dressed up for the occasion, with a grey wizard's robe draped over her shoulders and clip-on elf ears.

The players were more casual, the only one who really got into the spirit of the event was Damian himself, who was wearing a maroon vest and bracers to mirror his half-elf rogue character: Quem. He was sitting just to Angie's left and fidgeting with his dice.

Opposite Damian was Neil himself, who had, after considerable effort of grasping the rules of this strange new game, had settled on a gnomish wizard named Frobozz the Magnificent. This was definitely not his usual scene, and he much preferred games on a computer screen to those played with pen and paper.

But duty called.

At the end of the table were Angie's friends Ash and Victoria. Ash sat beside Damian, his chiseled features and slight stubble capturing the image of the rugged Marcus, the human fighter he played. He wore a black t-shirt bearing the album artwork from Metallica's “Master of Puppets”.

Victoria was dressed somewhat plainly in a grey v-neck and jeans but wore a black pick around her neck as a sort of talisman. Damian had mentioned that she was the guitarist of a local garage band, and the connection between these two and Angie started to make more sense. She was controlling Elwin, the halfling bard.

“Alright guys,” Angie said waving her arms in a grandiose bordering on the satiric gesture of welcome. “As you all know we are joined by a new face tonight. This is Neil.”

“Hey, man,” Ash nodded respectfully. 

“Welcome, welcome,” Victoria greeted. 

“Uh, hi everyone,” Neil replied nervously. “So yeah. First time.” 

“It'll get under your skin,” Ash said. 

“He's not wrong,” Damian chuckled. “I was just gonna play a session or two to see what I thought. Now I host the game.” 

“Yeah, Damian, I gotta say, this doesn't seem like your scene,” Neil said, feeling slightly bolstered by the presence of his friend. 

“Hey, I get to spend five hours a week pretending to be the world's greatest thief. What's not to like?” Damian shrugged. 

“He only started playing because he was trying to sleep with my friend Liana,” Angie corrected. 

“Lies and slander!” Damian chuckled a little too brazenly. 

“I mean, fair enough, you stuck around after she moved, but you were not subtle about it,” Angie added, fiddling with a sheave of notes behind her screen. 

“Get used to this,” Victoria said conspiratorially to Neil. “D&D is about 80% game to 20% trash talking.”

“Don't forget the snacks and beer,” Ash added. 

---

When the game finally began properly, Neil had to admit the appeal. Gone were the five random strangers sitting around a table. In their place were a team of four heroes being led through a fantasy realm through Angie's skillful story-telling.

The heroes had been tasked with the recovery of an ancient artifact from the ruins of a long-abandoned castle. Elwin, Quem, and Marcus began the session already at the gates of the castle, where they had left off the previous week. Angie used this as an opportunity to introduce Neil's character. Frobozz was a former wizard of the fallen kingdom who had been magically sealed away in the castle dungeon for many years. Now Frobozz was helping the heroes while he decided what to do with the rest of his life. It was a simple story that allowed Neil an out in case this wasn't for him.

But it was hardly necessary. Within the first hour, he already knew he loved the world that Angie had created. The castle was filled with deadly traps and terribly clever puzzles to solve. And when they reached their first combat encounter and Angie broke out the battle map and clay miniatures it went to the next level.

“I don't have a gnome wizard mini yet, so you'll have to be a goblin for now,” Angie said apologetically as she placed the figurine on the map. 

The battle was fierce, with the four of them facing off against four undead warriors, each one mirroring the players themselves. A hulking zombie still in plate mail led them, followed closely by two skeletons, one wielding a dagger and the other a bow. In the rear was a spell-slinging shade. And considering Neil did not know what he was doing, the battle was especially hectic.

It was about halfway into the melee when there was a knock on the sunroom door. Ash was explaining the finer points of the Magic Missile spell to Neil, while Victoria was desperately searching through her character sheet to see if she had any Potions of Healing left.

“Come on in!” Damian called. 

The door slid open and his little sister Talia entered the room. She was wearing a set of lime green pajamas and holding a stuffed Babar the Elephant.

“Talia, what's up?” Damian asked, walking over to the young girl.

“Mama needs your help,” Talia said. “In the kitchen.” 

The plan was for their family to have a traditional dinner around this time, but Damian would be excused to bring his plate back to the sunroom. As for the others, Mr. Levant had ordered them a couple of pizzas out of consideration for their palate.

“Hi, Talia,” Neil greeted politely. 

Talia froze in place and gave the unmasked expression of shock that only kids can truly manage. She then covered both of her eyes with her hands, and meekly muttered, “Don't talk to strangers.”

“Stranger? That's Neil,” Damian laughed. “You're being silly, kiddo.”

“Sorry, I'm not trying to frighten you, little miss,” Neil apologized, scooting his chair back in. 

Stranger... maybe I am a stranger. What if this isn't my thread after all? 

“It's about dinner time, isn't it?” Ash asked. 

“One-track mind,” Victoria teased. 

Damian ignored both of them and took his little sister's hand. “Alright kiddo, take me to her. Angie, I'll just be a few minutes.”

Neil leaned back in his chair a bit as he tried to consider what he would do as soon as Damian got back. He was in a tough fight and had no idea how to get out of the mess they were in. As his brain whirred with the possibilities Ash and Victoria were debating, he felt a pulse from the amulet.

“You are near the Crossroad now,” Rem informed him. It was clear that nobody else in the room, except him, had heard the voice. “It's not in that room. Somewhere else in the house. We still don't have a clear picture.”

Neil was taken aback. For a moment he had almost forgotten why he was there. Now that he was reminded, he needed a way to excuse himself from the group.

“Uh, I'm gonna go see if Damian needs any help,” Neil explained. 

“You can just say you're using the can, dude, we're grownups here,” Ash said. 

“Allegedly,” Victoria smirked. 

“I'm not the one who tried to seduce a dinosaur, okay?” Ash shot back, referencing some prior adventure of theirs. 

“It's a valid strategy, I'm a bard. I'm sorry you don't understand our love,” Victoria laughed. 

--- Neil slunk down the narrow T-shaped hallway from the sunroom in the southeast corner of the house into the open-layout public space. The western side of the house was an open space, with carpet for the living room half and tile for the dining room. Around the corner from this, facing the front door, was the stairwell leading up to the bedrooms. On the opposite side of this were the stairs leading down into the basement. The kitchen was off to the side of the dining room, on the opposite side of the house from the sunroom.

“So any bright ideas?” Neil whispered. 

“It seems likely that it is in the floor below you,” Rem offered. 

“I was afraid you were going to say that,” Neil sighed, moving towards the basement door and placing a hand on the basement door. 

“Talia!” shouted Damian's mother from the kitchen. “Don't touch the pan, it's still hot!” 

Neil jumped at the sudden shout, and his fingers rattled the doorknob. Footsteps approached from the stairs above him and he quickly let go, attempting to act casual. He was temporarily frozen as Anders Levant rounded the corner.

Damian's step-father was an impressive-looking man; bald but with a neatly trimmed beard that lined features nicely. He was wearing a black collar shirt with the sleeves rolled up, and draped in grey suspenders that connected to his matching pants. The man looked constantly ready for action, and this was no exception.

“Evening, Neil,” he said with a smile, but with the grain of unflinching seriousness that coated everything the man said. “Break time from the grand adventures, eh?”

“Mr. Levant,” Neil nodded. In truth, Neil had only met him once or twice before. He was something of an enigma and wasn't one for large social gatherings. “Sorry, I was just going to see if I could help your wife set out dinner.”

“Were you?” Mr. Levant said, his voice raised slightly.“ I'm certain she would welcome that. You're going to make some woman very happy someday. My generation never got taught 'woman's work', you know.” 

Mr. Levant let out a deep bellowing laugh and patted Neil on the shoulder. There was a slight, reflexive grip as he reached Neil's neck. A tight pinch, and then he let go. His touch felt like lightning at the moment, but it was over as soon as it began.

“Right,” Neil nodded. “I mean, I figured. I guess I'd better go into the kitchen then, right?”

“You know where it is, oh grand explorer,” Mr. Levant nodded. It was a statement, not a question, and it carried the subtext of dismissal. 

“Yes sir,” Neil said, sliding past Mr. Levant and walking down the hallway towards the kitchen. He glanced briefly over his shoulder to see Mr. Levant sliding a key into the basement door and locking it shut. 

“It's him.” 

Rem's message was unnecessary, as he felt a powerful burning in his chest at the sight. The pieces were falling into place right before him, and now he just had to do something about it. He had to get into that basement. Something horrible was going to happen down there. But what? And how? And how did it relate to Mr. Levant?

Suddenly, the doorbell rang.

“Pizza!” Talia cried. 

“Tiny one, that is for your brother's friends!” Mrs. Levant said. “You can have one slice after you finish your dinner.” 

“I'll get it!” Neil said, opening the front door. 

There was another way into the basement. A window on the lower level. It was narrow, but Neil was slim and he could probably squeeze his way through it. He just had to get outside and work his way around to it. This was going to require a distraction and the pizza man was perfectly timed. He opened the door to a haggard-looking college kid holding two large boxes and a couple of 2-liters.

“Hey sir, it's $18.78.” 

“I'll grab the food from you,” Neil said, taking the pizza. 

“You gonna pay for it too, Neil?” Damian asked, appearing from the kitchen and patting him on the shoulder. 

“I'll get you back for it, I promise,” Neil laughed, trying to hide his nerves. As he turned around, Mr. Levant was still standing by the basement door. 

Damian handed the guy $25. The window was closing, and he was being watched closely. He couldn't exactly bolt out the front door after the pizza guy. Holding the food and balancing the two-liters anxiously he moved towards the sunroom. Neil felt a knot forming in his stomach. His time was running out.

Then he considered another strategy. One born from desperation and recklessness.

“Rem,” Neil whispered, his lips hidden behind the two-liters. “It's Mr. Levant himself, right?” 

“Correct. What does that have to do with-”

Before Rem could finish his thoughts, Neil acted. Feigning himself slipping on his shoelaces, he barreled into Mr. Levant, food first. Pizza and soda went everywhere and Mr. Levant was knocked back against the rear wall, his head making contact with the molding of the dining room door-frame.

“Son of a bitch!” Mr. Levant cursed, as he reached back to his head. His hand came back bloody. 

Neil didn't look much better as he had hit the opposite frame, except his forehead took the brunt of it, leaving a nasty gash between his eyes.

“Oh! Daddy's bleeding!” Talia cried. 

“Dad!” Damian cried out, rushing past Neil to help his father up. 

“I'm sorry!” Neil blurted, doing his part to keep up the illusion. “I slipped, I'm so sorry!”

“Hey, is everyone alive?” Angie asked, poking her head out of the sunroom. 

“We've got to get you both to a hospital,” Mrs. Levant said, emerging from the kitchen. She had been through far worse and was doing a wonderful job of maintaining her composure. “Talia grab some towels. Damian, you start the car. Are you alright, husband?” 

“Looks like you got me,” Mr. Levant chuckled, calming down slightly as he sat up to stare Neil directly in the face. “Boy, you certainly do know how to throw a party, don't you?”

There was an understanding between the two of them at that moment. They were both going to play their part, certainly. But Neil felt it as sure as he felt the burning in his breast from the amulet, and the uncomfortable way the light glinted off of that phony smile of his. Anders Levant knew exactly what he had done, and – somehow – why he had done it. There was far more to this man than Neil could have ever possibly imagined. 

It's him, alright.

#writing #writingcommission #commissionsopen #cosmichorror #shortfic #scifi