Tumgik
#this thought has been plauging me for a while now
jamisonwritestf2trash · 5 months
Note
Hello!
New to the fandom and your posts have been lovely to read! I don't know if it's been done already, but, may I request the TF2 mercs' reactions to having a nightmare? Like, frequency, how they cope with them, how they handle them when they happen?
The TF2 Mercs Reactions to A Nightmare!
————————————————————
Anon, you are making me sob. Welcome to the fandom. You'll never be able to leave. But I haven't done this prompt before, so I'm glad to do it now! Uh, angsty as hell and a small spydad mention.
————————————————————
Demo wakes up drenched in sweat. He's had nightmares before, but he doesn't really dream. Dreams are a rarity. Nightmares aren't too common either happening, maybe twice a month. He hasn't found a way to handle them. Drinking booze like water helps temporarily, but so does going back to sleep because if he falls back asleep, then he doesn't have to reflect on what his nightmares might mean. He'll probably end up staring at the wall for a while before going back to sleep. Hoping his brain will forget it by morning. It doesn't. He doesn't know how to cope.
————————————————————
Engie is just tired. He usually buries himself in work so he doesn't have to sleep. Nightmares are a regular occurrence. He doesn't know when they started, or even what they're about half the time. He wakes up with a deep feeling of dread and fear, but he doesn't know why. He can't remember them, so it's weird they have such a hold on him. He'll normally just get up and start his day at that point regardless of its 2am or 7am, trying to distract himself in any way he can. He uses work to cope, tinkering away at some new projects he pulled out of thin air.
————————————————————
Heavy just sighs, rolling over to go back to sleep. He has nightmares very rarely, and none are particularly scary, mainly sad. Occasionally, he'll cry if the nightmare is about something that's too real to him. He doesn't feel the need to react, to cope, to do anything other than let the haze of sleep overtake him again. He likes to think he forgets about the pain his nightmares cause him, but memories of them creep in during the day sometimes. He does check in the mornings that everything is okay and everyone is alright as a sort of coping mechanism.
————————————————————
Medic wakes up crying, well, sobbing. He puts up a good front during the day. Not letting the mix of past traumas and present traumatizing events get to him while he works. But oh boy, is this man riddle with nightmares. He almost thinks it's a punishment of some kind. He can't remember the last time he slept soundly. He'll spring out of bed, wiping the tears from his face and grabbing his glasses, much like Engie he's ready to just start the day, but he hears soft cooing and the flap of wings. Archimedes lands softly on his shoulder, demanding affection from him and immediately distracting him from whatever spiral he's currently in, and sits with him until Medic is subtly convinced by the birds insistence of moving him to the bed to go back to sleep. Always staying in his line of sight while the ex doctor sleeps, making sure his friend is okay
————————————————————
Scout is terrified. Like petrified in fear. He won't move from his bed. He doesn't have nightmares too often, but when he does, they hit him like a train. He just wants to sleep and not be plauged by bad thoughts. He tried to reassure himself that it's all just a dream, all in his head, and most of the time, it works. When it doesn't, however, he thinks about how his mom used to comfort him when he was younger, or just thinking of his mom or his childhood in general, it gives him a safe feeling. He might even find himself calling his mom after just to make sure she's okay.
————————————————————
Snipers eyes open with a sigh as he stares at the ceiling. He's pissed. He's always tired because of this shit. Nightmares are a common occurrence, not as common as Medic's, but still frequent enough to interfere with his sleep schedule. They're stressed induced, and he can't ever find a way to stop them. He's tried drinking, smoking, he even asked Medic for advice, only to be told that, "If I had a cure, everyone would know about it by now." So he just lays there in hatred for his brain, a brain that cursed him with horrible dreams. Sometimes, though, if you catch him on one of his better days, he'll open up just enough for someone to maybe offer up some advice.
————————————————————
Spy only lets a few tears out as he drapes a hand over his face to cover his eyes. His nightmares are more like regret filled dreams, he has them quite a bit, the frequency increasing after Scout joined the other mercs. He lets himself feel sad for only a few seconds before a guilt washes over him, making him feel as if he has no right to feel upset. He might light a cigarette cope. Smoking is the least likely thing to help, but hey, it's an excuse to go outside. He'll never address any of the guilt, shame, or fear feels from his nightmares. He just buries it. Never learning to cope and never feeling like he deserves it.
————————————————————
Soldier is used to it. Nothing really phases him anymore. Not the real world, not the nightmares, nothing. He just goes back to sleep, silently hoping that he doesn't slip back into the nightmares, but he does. He has them at the same frequency as Medic, but is granted no support. He does find comfort once when he finally opens up about them to Medic. Medic and him discussing nightmares between the both of them. He's not one to do this often, though, finding that he doesn't need to cope as long as he pushes down the reoccurring thoughts of his nightmares. He's sure he'll be just fine.
————————————————————
Pyro is hyperventilating, crying, and just a mess. They don't have nightmares often at all, maybe once a year, their mind always being able to protect them from it somehow, but when the nightmare comes its bad. Enough to probably actually traumatize Pyro on some level. Crying helps them in the moment, being a way for them to let their emotions out quickly, but after that, they need comfort, turning to whatever friends (mostly Medic or Engie) who could help them. Both are more than happy to comfort Pyro in their time of need, helping them forget about the dream until next time.
————————————————————
Hot take! These fuckers cry, a lot. Men can cry and still be strong and manly, especially traumatized men. I want to give them hugs :,) I hope this makes sense and follows the prompt bc i am so tired rn, but i had to get this out 😭Anyways, I hope you like this Anon! And again, welcome to the fandom. Enjoy your new life >:D
86 notes · View notes
ccarrot · 3 months
Text
Tumblr media
ontnffg Half of it is me being like. Girl youre like me bro. Lkfkriterally projection. Ok
So heres some options:
Chuuya transitions while with the Sheep, that funky gang of gender kiddos. He'd be accepted at least in that way.
Chuuya transitions after joining the mafia. A swift departure from canon but could be fun to think about if you're ready to fudge with BSD.
Alt timeline where chuuya wanted to be a Boy since a little kid and N just decided "that works" when faking his death and creating a new identity for him. This implies that N is not transphobic no he is anyways bc N has no redeeming qualities </3 Chuuya's just legally a male now.
Lets talk about timeline 2 ok.
Chuuya had the title of "King of Sheep" back when He was still a She. He always had his hair cropped short to make his gender relatively unknown.
Brief encounter during Fifteen, Dazai's like "huh your actually a girl? Thats not very King of Sheep of you" and Chuuya kicks him again
Getting assigned to Kouyou meant that fashion was Important. Kouyou tried to encourage dress in very pretty feminine clothes like she did with Kyouka, after a lot of kicking and screaming she let him have his way with clothes of his choosing but only if it was very expensive and fit.
Generic teen skk fic set up, daz and chuu needed to attend this extremely fancy gala type event, and chuuya's stuck wearing a dress. Till Dazai's master psychoanalysis skill kicks in and he's like 'i gotchu bro' leads chuuya to his closet of identical looking generic black suits. They're a little big for chuuya but he was happy, AND Dazai got a swell view of chuuya in his clothes so it was a win-win.
I think Kouyou was the first one to start referring to him like a "boy" (she knows whats up with the transfemme swag) Dazai also started going like. " dude" "bro" "man" you know, guy terms. And the Flags were the firat people he was like, asking if they could use different pronouns, and Lippman called him a "he" and that zinged something in his brain.
After he came out, Mori changed his bribe "If you get to executive, i'll get you your top surgery" Mori was gonna pay for his surgery anyways. Happened sometime after Dark Era around 20ish
He did get started on T like as soon as the Boss found out. Mori might be a bad person but he's the trans rights president!! ^v^
Chuuya got kinda lucky being naturally flat but during some low points you Know my bro was still up in the unsafe binding business. At least until Dazai found out where his missing bandage rolls started going and Kouyou and him staged an intervention.
He messed up his ribs pretty bad a couple of times
Chuuya's never conformed to the gender binaries by default. but once he got out of his "i need to fit in" mindset, presenting "traditionally masculine" stopped being the biggest concern. So now lets himself have *fun* with his hair and clothes.
Poor guy is still really insecure. Low key always in a state of worried about his looks. Like Yes he may seem confident in his gender but bro still got the Thoughts plauging him. Dysphoria king 😔
When he reunited with Dazai in the dungeon, he was subtly going like. "Heeeyy. Hey notice anything different about me?? :3" and Dazai annoyingly misses "nope same old chuuya as he's always been"
Dazai does recognize that chuuya was trying to show off that he finished transitioning. Right b4 leaving (and the rich girl impression) he surpise attacks with a good ol "yeah lol jk. Congrats on the transition btw you're looking very handsome these days" bonus points if there's an unxpected behind hug.
Chuuya and Daz get together sometime after s3. Dazai become a borderline annoying cheerleader whenever chuuya takes off his shirt
Okay. Have fun with that
45 notes · View notes
gumilac · 2 years
Text
Tumblr media Tumblr media
— ; 𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐈𝐈. bear with me
⁍ pairings. fushiguro megumi x reader
⁍ genre. royal au, contractual marriage, angst, hurt/comfort
aki's notes. fushiguro's mom actually doesn't have a name, i just gave her one for the sake of the fic dsskslskj
— ; prev | m.list | next
Tumblr media
— ; 𝐚 𝐦𝐨𝐧𝐭𝐡 𝐚𝐟𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐰𝐞𝐝𝐝𝐢𝐧𝐠.
it has been a month after sealing the marriage with the crown prince of edo'in. you had thought it'll be different, maybe he would be more open with you now that you're married. but, to your dismay, nothing has changed. he was still cold, an air of apathy around him whenever he was with you.
great sorrow falls over you, missing your father, nobara, your bedroom — since your shared bedroom seemed all too big despite it being bigger than your room before. it feels like there's a huge rift in it whenever you enter… like something is so far from your reach — and the overall energy of your kingdom.
while you do love the calm aura of edo'in, you didn't like how lonely you felt inside its walls. so unfamiliar, so foreign. it also did not help that your husband was barely around, always on the field with his men fighting for god knows what.
his company was no good either, for he always had a say. always clashing with your ideas, disregarding your concern, and blatantly avoiding you in the halls — seriously, did he see you as the plauge? how rude. today, however, was a surprise, as megumi approached you, seated on the table of your shared bedroom. he clears his throat, and you look up from what you were writing.
“yes?”
“father wishes to know if you’d like to go horse riding with us today.”
“horse riding?”
he nods his head once and walks over to the coat rack to grab — what you only assume is his navy shadbelly. he puts it on, swift fingers buttoning his coat as he turns to look at you.
“it is tradition for us zen’in’s to go horseback riding every 10th of may. reason being why, i do not know myself.”
“or you prefer not to tell me.”
“maybe i do,” he retorts and you roll your eyes at him, closing your journal. “so, are you coming?”
“it does not feel like you want me there,” lacing your hands together atop the notebook, “you only ask out of duty.”
he stays quiet, navy eyes observing you from when you sit. after a minute of silence and considering his offer, sighing, you get up, walking over to where he was to grab your coat. 
“but, i certainly can not refuse if it is your father who requested me to be there, no?”
gazing up at him through your lashes, megumi clears his throat. and, unbeknownst to him, something flutters in his chest with the way you’re looking at him right now. he looks away, irritated. and, fixes his collar, furrowing his brows.
“certainly.”
—; 𝐝𝐢𝐬𝐩𝐮𝐭𝐞.
“ah, if it is not the most beautiful woman here,” megumi’s mother cups your cheeks as she sees you and her son walking to the field, meeting you halfway.
“please, queen ai,” you laugh, tucking a hair behind your ear, “you flatter me too much. i believe it is you who are the most beautiful.” 
she laughs, a bright smile adorning her features, and queen ai takes your hand and walks with you to the horses. megumi falls into step with his father who was behind you both. fushiguro watches your back, your laughter ringing in the air, and he swears the only time you were ever happy was when you were with his mother. 
it is true.
and, he cannot once again stop the fluttering in his chest as he imagines making you happy. you in his arms, holding you so delicately like fine porcelain. bullshit, he thinks. you’d never allow him to. as you reach the stables, you pick the horse near the end, making megumi’s father release a low whistle and chuckle as he picks his horse.
“great choice, darling!” queen ai says, and as you turn to face them, the scowl on megumi’s face says otherwise. 
“i do not think it is, dear,” toji replies, already seated on his. looking at them innocently, you tilt your head, “is this someone else’s?”
maki suddenly comes in the stable with her sister, laughing as she walks past your displeased husband, “that is megumi’s horse.”
“the last time i rode his, he threate–,” he bites back, glaring at mai — maki’s twin. “you are making things up.”
you give a guile smile his way, “does he not perform well if he is not on familiar grounds?” – and he huffs, fighting the urge to roll his eyes. “by grounds, i mean his horse?”
“i do well, whatever horse it may be.”
he pulls on his coat, turning on his heel to walk toward another stallion, and gets on swiftly. snickering, you get on the horse, slowly guiding it out of the stables as you follow the zen’in family. the air is nice, cool, and the perfect temperature for feeling the air on your skin as you ride the horse, galloping through fields of flowers and rows of trees.
megumi stays close by, just right behind you. there it is again. the unfamiliar thumping of his heart as he watches your gleeful figure, smiling at whoever overtook you. your laughter ringing in his ears. he shakes his head and curses himself. get a grip. averting his eyes back on the trail, he kicks his horse to run faster to overtake you. to get rid of the view that causes his arrhythmia. but alas, he does not even reach your side for it is not his horse he is on, because you had used his. the swiftest in the herd. 
he gives up trying to overtake you and decides to just focus on the road before him. but, every now and then his eyes drift over to yours, unaware that a small smile forms on his lips. only to catch himself and back is the scowl that is always on his face. amidst the feeling of the breeze blowing at your hair, someone shouts, and a horse neighs. pulling the reins, you look back to see megumi’s horse leaning up in the air.
“woah! easy boy, easy!” his horse looses balance and he falls on the ground hard, making you get off yours hastily, running up to him. he rubs his forehead and gets up to catch his horse but, he is long gone as he runs for the stables. he groans in frustration and rubs his temples, putting a hand on his waist. 
walking up to him, megumi takes a step back as you reach out to hold his face, making you retract your hands. and, a pang of guilt hits his chest when he sees an expression of hurt flash quickly across your eyes only to be replaced with indifference.
“you’re bleeding…” you quietly say, hands clasped together. “please… let me.”
pulling out a napkin, you take a step toward him, and he suddenly feels stuffy in his suit as he averts his eyes away from yours, taking another step back. sighing at his stubbornness, you grab his hand — to which he snaps his head to look at you, shocked — and placed the napkin on his palm. looking down, hiding the hurt swimming in your eyes, ai and toji make their way to you.
“what happened?”
“fushiguro fell, queen ai.”
“great heavens! you’re bleeding, dear!” megumi hesitantly uses the napkin you gave him, wiping off the crimson on his forehead. he clears his throat and fixes his coat, toji asking, “where’s your horse?”
“ran off,” he says flatly.
“ride with the princess,” he suggests and megumi quickly looks at his father, a knowing smile present on his face. “what? she is your wife after all.”
the king and queen begin to trot away with their horses and you both stand there awkwardly before you walk back to your stallion. he looks away and mutters a curse under his breath — unfortunately, to which you heard — as he releases a heavy sigh. without turning around to face him, you place a delicate hand on the neck of megumi’s horse.
“i know you do not like me,” you quietly say, biting back tears, “but you do not have to blatantly show your disinterest in me.”
one hand on his waist as the other hovers above his forehead with the napkin you gave him. and, he is left stunned by your hushed observation.
“i do not want to share as much as you do, but i would rather have you with me than let you walk back to the stables.”
his eyes ever so slightly widen, taken aback by your words. he does not know what to say so he stays silent, watching your back as you stroke the horse’s neck. unknown to him, he grips the napkin harder with every word that falls off your lips.
“so please,” you pause, “at least bear with me until we’re back at the castle, then you can return to ignoring me to your heart’s content.”
struggling to get on the horse because a lack of a stool is not there to assist you, megumi’s presence suddenly looms behind your back. hesitant hands reach out to hold your waist, and your breath hitches as you feel hot puffs of air fanning your neck. he gently lifts you off the ground, and your leg swings over to sit on the saddle. heat creeps up on your face as you feel megumi mount himself, settling himself behind you, his chest brushing yours as he makes himself comfortable.
slowly, he leans forward to take the reins from your hands, his arms gently slipping under yours to almost — but, not quite — cage your waist. his head just hovering above your shoulder. this was the closest you two have ever been, for even in bed there was a barrier separating you both. you take deep calculated breaths as megumi guides the horse to turn around. 
he too, controls his breathing, cursing the way his heart is beating so quickly and he wishes you do not hear. megumi leads his horse on the path to the castle and the ride back was shared in silence.
he fell off a horse that day, but oblivious to his own feelings, it seems something else has fallen.
Tumblr media Tumblr media
258 notes · View notes
1im-perfect1 · 2 years
Text
A thing that will forever bother me in this fandom is villainizing Stede for leaving Ed while having to face his own lifelong abuse and traumas and turning around and woobifying Izzy for wanting to "protect" his toxic idea of who Ed should be.
Because their reasoning isn’t that different: Stede thought he ruined Ed because of Who he Is and Who Ed Is with Him (which he has been told his whole life is destructive, wrong and pathetic) and Izzy thinks Stede ruined and messed up Ed’s brain by existing as his true self and showing Ed he could do the same. 
The way people don't give Stede the benefit of the doubt for literally having a massive mental breakdown that is depicted and justified by a season long arc (while Ed had literally contemplated murdering him while of course driven by own motivation, traumas and hardships that have too been showed to us) but victimize Izzy for PROBABLY having a never shown or alluded to "tragic backstory" going out of their way to make Ed the big bad scary guy that he clearly isn't (and revaluate your way of thinking if you do, same if you think Ed isn’t capable of making decisions or taking care of himself while thinking Stede should always do the right thing and isn’t allowed to make mistakes).
And I think It comes down to some sorts of internalized something; I will just say the gender non-conforming, effeminate and nurturing gay man that has fought his WHOLE life to be himself and decided to not hide his behavior and having the balls to be like "Why does It have to be that way" while still being plauged by guilt and remorse and selfloathing will forever be stronger that a toxic little shit stain of a man that is so scared of himself he needs to make other suffer to make himself feel better about his own self-hatred.
And that’s how season 1 ends Stede realises that he is the most powerful, strong and indipendent person he knows not in despite of himself but instead BECAUSE of who HE IS and what and WHO HE LOVES, he doesn’t NEED Ed to exist and to validate his own happiness but HE WANTS HIM BY HIS SIDE because life is simply easier and better with him and he knows now that Ed feels the same way.
While Izzy desperatley clings to Blackbeard and his relationship with Ed because without it he’s absolutely nothing.
219 notes · View notes
ruthlesslistener · 1 year
Note
No listen, hornet was designed to mirror my trauma perfectly.
She's from two different places, both of which she doesn't feel like she belongs to, now suddenly stuck in a foreign land so so far away from anything resembling "home" that is exploiting the people of one side of her heritage, that of deepnest.
And the only reason she's they haven't caught her is due to the other side of her heritage, that of hallownest, that of the pale king, a side of her heritage that completly rejected the other, feeling like the other was beneath them. And that is the side allowing her special treatment, just enough to allow her to escape pharloom's grasp.
Do you think hornet feels guilt that the wyrm blood she carries, knowing that it is the only reason she isn't farm stock. Knowing that she owes the Deepnest side of her heritage.
Do you think she's tired? She thought she repented for the wyrm blood she carries by protecting the seals, for overlooking the land (her land?) In her father's stead. But now the one side of her heritage that she thought safe, the people she thought escaped are trapped and she must take the vigil again.
But she's so tired.
She thought she was done seeing people like her being mistreated, growing up alongside the pure vessel knowing that neither of them would have existed if not for this Plauge, feeling like their father sees the pair of them as nothing but a bitter debt. But now seeing the way pharloom treats the Deepnest immigrants she's reminded yet again that the world around her sees her as lesser.
Yet like with the pure vessel that she is still in a position of privilege, that she has it so much better.
This lack of singular heritage protects her.
Had she's been purely the pale king's child she'd have been tossed in the abyss like all the others
Had she been purely Herrah's child she'd have been farmed for silk by pharloom or consumed by the Plauge.
She's like a pet bird, yes caged, but not slaughtered like a chicken would, that must fuck with her.
God she must be so tired. But she won't say so, because she doesn't believe herself deserving of exhaustion.
I can't actually delve much into pharloom and Deepnest yet since we don't know much about them, which is why I cut the "essay" in the OG post short.
But if I were to say anything I'd say that Pharloom feels very Christian to me, while Deepnest is very much not, though I can't say which culture they're coded as. Which is fascinating because pharloom clearly accepts immigrants, or pilgrims as we saw in the trailer. It suggests to me that Pharloom is only accepting immigration from nations they deem "civilised", aka bug Christian, or at least willing to assimilate.
However the weavers are not willing to assimilate, and even if they were they look so different to the average bug, which means they cannot. I may be projecting but it's like how if you're a brown middle Eastern guy you can't exactly assimilate into western culture even if you wanted to cause you're not white.
Because of this pharloom keeps the weavers only for their labour and away from the eyes of tourists and pilgrims, to continue this facade of a "civilized" nation, afraid that the "barbaric" (aka not bug Christian) reputation of the Deepnest immigrants would taint that.
It's similar to how if you were to be hired into a factory job here in Europe or any major labor intensive job that is away from the eyes of the public it's filled with immigrants, as if the company knows that they'll accept harsher conditions. No I'm not speaking from personal experience whatever gave you that idea, heh, but seriously it's fucked I hope hornet tears pharloom into shreds.
...
OP I AM FROTHING AT THE MOUTH THANK YOU FOR THIS MEAL. I think the only thing I disagree on is Hornet's reaction to the burden of her heritage- I think she would be deeply, bitterly angry about it, a sort of ice-cold anger that mingles with the exhaustion yet overwhelms all else- but mmmmm YES this is so good. Hornet being a person stuck between worlds is something that is both her greatest strength, and yet also incredibly isolating for her. She was Deepnest's strongest heir because she was born of Wyrm and Beast, and yet she is still half-mortal compared to her siblings, formed of God and Void. She is the heir to Deepnest, but she is known as the Daughter of Hallownest, and ends up being its protector in the entirety when the Radiance massacred all who were not strong enough to resist her. She's got so much strength, but that strength led to more burdens placed on her shoulders, and now she's trapped in a foreign land far from home, captured like the rest of her tribe, yet tasked with freeing them because her divine blood gives her that edge over the people of Pharloom that her Weavers do not. It must be exhausting, being Hornet, but I'm hoping that some of that lonlieness will be dispelled by meeting fellow outcasts. I sure as fuck can relate to her, as the son of an immigrant and someone disconnected from their family/culture- it's part of why she's one of my favorite characters. Even if she's beloved by one or the other, she'll never fully fit in to either
I also agree on Pharloom having very Christian vibes, what with the rosaries and rigid religious structure and all. It's an interesting contrast from the Radiance, actually, who also gives me strong Christian vibes, but more in the sense of the old testament, wrathful sort of divinity. Pharloom, on the other hand, reminds me more of the corruption wrought by the church; the bounds placed upon others seem to be institutional, and the system of exploitation also seems to be baked into the social power dynamic rather than what we saw in Hollow Knight, where two divine beings that could not comprehend the lives of mortals ended up killing everyone in the nuclear blast radius of squabbling over their worship. It was not institutional; it was animalistic. The fact that Pharloom has a gilded citadel with which immigrants or pilgrims must struggle from the bottom up feels like a metaphor for climing the social ladder, where each rung you jump to demands more of your previous life lost. Those who conform easily and/or are native to Pharloom get to navigate comfortably up the ladder, while those who stick to their own cultural traditions (like the Weavers) are enslaved and exploited. We've yet to see the God of Pharloom, if there even is one, but so far Pharloom really does give me 'extremely strong and corrupt religious political power' vibes from the brief glimpses we see of it. Maybe that's just bc its actually alive instead of the gods being the only ones kind of clinging on, but still. Pretty sure rosaries are a Catholic thing?? Which pairs pretty nicely lots of gilded extravagance and exploitation, lmfao
Either way though, its vibes are absolutely rancid. I sure as fuck hope we see Hornet tearing out its bloated underbelly in Silksong, or at least personally beating back whatever caused the problem. After who knows how many centuries guarding the corpse of a kingdom felled by the folly of gods, she deserves a little regicide. As a treat
48 notes · View notes
orchid3a · 2 years
Text
in my head - h. ran
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
synopsis: You plauge Ran’s heart and mind and he doesn’t know what to do
pairing: bonten!Haitani Ran x f!reader 
tw: angst, hurt no comfort
wc:  615 words
tagging: @haitaniapologist @etheralyonn @sincerelyraylene @ningstar​ @hanmascult​ @eriskaitto​ 
for the request click here!
sfw taglist click here to join!
note: saw the chapter and i want to see ran suffer <3
no proofreading
english isn’t my native language
reblogs and comments are appreciated
Tumblr media
Haitani Ran isn’t the type to be charmed, instead he is the charmer, he knows how to play his cards and he never failed a game. Ran never saw himself as the type to maintain a long-lasting relationship, not because he is a cheater but simply because he never found someone that could capture his heart and never let it go. 
Now hitting his thirties he still hasn’t found that person, day by day his hope is slowly decreasing, upsetting him very much, due to his want to be together with someone. 
Working with Bonten isn’t something you can casually say during a date, Ran knows that so he tries to say something like “I work for a company with my brother, nothing interesting” shifting the topic on something else. 
Then he found you.
It was a surprise when their leader Mikey announced that someone else was joining the gang, all the executives were quite curious about their new member. 
Everyone was surprised and shocked when they saw you, a woman, entering from the main door. You didn’t look intimidating enough and you seemed weak.
“(y/n) these are the executives and your colleagues.”
“Thank you Boss. I hope we will have a great time.”
Ran was captured, there was something in you that attracted him like a moth to a flame. You seemed interesting and judging by your posture and calm behavior, you were pretty confident of your abilities. 
It has been a few months since Ran has known you, and he can proudly say that he maybe loves you. Ran is infatuated by you and your personality, how witty your remarks are, how cute your smile is and how beautiful you are. However nothing can beat how your presence changes his mood, he just needs to see you doing whatever and he can feel better. You plague his mind day and night, he wants to know if he is the only one to feel like that.
Does he pollute your mind? Are you interested in him as much as he is in you? Do you love him as he loves you? 
Tonight he will take you out to dinner and he will confess his feelings for you, Ran can’t wait to see your reaction. Will you cry? Will you be embarrassed? 
He chuckles at these thoughts while he is driving towards your house, next to him in the passenger seat there is a bouquet of fresh flowers, violets, he is sure you will like it.
Parking not so far from your apartment, he breathes in and finally exits from the car. Then he sees you with someone.
Ran can’t believe what he is seeing, you and Rindou are kissing at your doorstep. You two are so taken by kissing that you don’t notice him. Ran wants to say something.
“Just leave with me now, say the word and we'll go. I'll be your teacher, I'll show you the ropes, you'll see a side of love you've never known.” 
These are the words he wants to say but nothing comes out from his mouth when he sees Rindou’s eyes.
They are full of love and warm like he never saw them. Reality hits him square in his face, he can’t take away happiness from his own brother. He can’t do that.
He observes how happy you two are and when you take Rindou’s wrist to take him inside your house, you two are like high schoolers with their first loves.
As silently as he came there, he returned to his car with a bittersweet feeling in his heart. He looks at the flowers and smiles sadly while a lone tear runs over his cheek.
Tumblr media
188 notes · View notes
jacketlady · 10 months
Text
I know I'm speaking to the void, but I can't sleep, and I know I will never stop thinking about it. It's a good place to get my thoughts out there, and those who know will know. Forgive me if it's scattershot.
I just really miss my old online friend right now, and it kills me inside to this day that I may never know what happened to them. I've been facing a lot of personal familial losses this year, and thus I keep getting reminded of this one in particular. I've tried "moving on", but I don't know if I ever fully will. I've been quiet about it for a while, but I need to get it off my chest.
It's true what they say in that you never know when the last time you talk to a person is - it just happens. Just like I didn't think that night on Animal Crossing: New Horizons would be the last time we'd play online together.
It was funny - what happened. They had asked me what some of my favorite villagers were, and among my long list, I accidently mistyped Cheri, when I meant Cherry (the goth dog girl with a sisterly personality). They were excited and asked if I wanted them to move Cheri into my town (since they had her), and I was delighted and said yes! I realized as it happened that it wasn't Cherry, and was, in fact, Cheri (she's a red bear cub with a peppy personality - I know, it's confusing). But I didn't correct them, and I didn't say anything to the contrary. I was grateful I got to have one of their villagers in my town. In the end, I was just so happy I had someone to play Animal Crossing with and that I made a new memory with a friend there. And best of all, I had the chance to get to know a new villager that I hadn't had in any of my previous towns before.
After we stopped playing that October night of 2021, (God, has it really been nearly 2 years?), they were getting a new job and said they may not be as active. Which is fine you know, life stuff happens! Messages were sparce, but they were still there for a bit.
Their very last message I received was them being excited about having Takis and a clementine over their lunch break. We were catching up. Nothing strange or unusual, just a fun little thing they wanted to talk about in their free moment.
I didn't know that would be the last I had heard from them.
I thought that they were just busy those last few days when they couldn't talk. I left pebbles for them - funny memes I thought they'd like and pretty pictures of clouds I found so they could see them when they got the chance. Again, it was October, and Halloween was fastly-approaching. I was so excited to show them my Beetlejuice costume I threw together for Halloween, and get them caught up to speed on my D&D session that night! But I didn't hear anything back yet.
Hallows Eve, I find out that all of their Tumblr blogs and online accounts are gone through their mutual friends, and that they vanished without a trace. No word on why they were leaving - just gone. I didn't even know until it was too late. That time that I thought they were just busy, in actuality, they disappeared in that absence. Unfortunately, it takes a while for Discord to show that a user has deleted their account.
I know I naturally want to blame myself and think that maybe I did something wrong to make them leave, but I know that isn't true. All the things I wish I could have said and done, had I'd known they'd leave, plauge my mind at times. I'll always have hunches as to why they left, but I don't know the truth. I realize that I'll never know the reality of the situation unless they come back online. I just hope that they're okay and that their life is going well. I hope that they finished their Animal Crossing town and got it just the way they wanted. I hope that they finished, or are at least continuing, their writings in their spare time. I hope that they are continuing to make their awesome artworks to this day - whatever it may look like. Whether it's the original characters and sculptures they made, or Beetlejuice, or Doc Ock, or maybe even their spidersona since the new Spiderverse came out (they're probably on that Spiderverse kick, let's be real). I hope that they are achieving their goals and doing what they love to do, and I hope that they find peace and happiness - they deserve it.
These days though, I can't help but find myself even more worried for them. After all this heinous anti-LGBTQ+ shit that's going on right now, and knowing about the context of their unfortunate family situation, I hope that they are safe more than anything. God, I hope so.
It's hard to play Animal Crossing now after their absence, but when I do, I go and visit Cheri. I even planted an orange tree in front of her house, since I know how much they liked clementines, and I think of them. As a veteran Animal Crossing player, I understand why the old feature of villagers moving away suddenly was supposed to reflect how people you love and came to know would sometimes just leave. But I'm glad I can be a little selfish with the new game in that - even if I don't play the game as much anymore, Cheri will always be there for me to visit. I'll always have a little reminder of them.
I love you friend, I will never forget you, and I wish you all the best. Thank you for being a part of my life, even though probably it wasn't as long as we'd like. Thank you for all of the laughs, the meme exchanges, the silly sketches and drawings, the youtube viewings, the late nights on animal crossing, the deep talks at 2am, and so on. I will always cherish all of the things we did together and will never forget them. I wish I could hear from you again, but I also understand that I may not. Please know you are dearly loved by many and are very, very missed.
2 notes · View notes
healing-medic-lizard · 8 months
Text
The calm before the storm, before the facade finally failed me.
CONTENT WARNING: WANTING FOR DEATH. THOUGHTS OF SELF HATRED. AND GENERAL DEPRESSION.
"I knew what had to be done. I knew accepting the Scions' offer would lead me down this path one way or another. I know I'll need to come clean at some point. There's no way the don't notice, right? I can feel myself cracking after each imperial killed, feel my probably poorly kept secret becoming all the more obvious after each mission against them. Maybe if I express less and keep quieter it'll help me keep this secret just a little longer. I have to- I can't let them know, what will they think when they learn that? That I've killed innocents in the name of the empire? Will they just slaughter me like the traitorous swine I am? Will any trust in me be gone? Will they just throw me out in the street to rot? I've seen how they look at the soldiers, I've heard all the remarks, I can feel the hatred in the way they act when the topic of the empire comes up. I only hope they don't already know, and don't plan to just abandon me when my usefulness has finally run dry, once the empire is gone and the primals are slain. Or worse, kill me. But... would that be worse? Would it be better off to be left alive to suffer for my remaining days or would it be better to have them cut short and be prevented this misery? No matter, I can't hesitate, I can't deviate, I can't let the mask slip. I must obey them without question or else I'm punished... just... just like it was in the empire..." I let out a defeated sigh, these same thoughts and anxieties have been plauging me from the moment I foolishly accepted the offer to join the scions. Who the bloody hells cares about how gifted someone is when they've spilled the blood of others and their own in the name of the empire? It doesn't matter a whit if you've done right and left, if you've turned tail and fled. The people who know will still hate you. The people who don't will find out, or you'll have to live with the guilt of keeping secrets from them, no matter how close they may seem or how good of a person they may look. Nobody can be trusted once you've fled the empire, nobody who opposes it, and sure as hells nobody who supports it. "Is this life truly better? I'm just living with a different edge over my head, different ties around my wrists, different people's floor to look down at while I await the inevitable execution at the slightest slip up. I can't flee either, now that so many people look to me as a hero. I'll be known, I'll be hunted to be brought back, and if my past is found out I'll be hunted for my scales. I can only pray to whatever false gods these people believe in that my death is swift and painless."
I can feel eyes watching me after the briefing of our mission, only one set, I know not who's, but I don't care. Who brings down the blade- who lets out my secret doesn't matter, the end will always be the same. I don't stop walking, I simply keep my pace and return to my quarters as if I'm none the wiser. Even that small lie pains me, makes this room feel like a poorly disguised cell. All I need to do is fight Rhitahtyn and kill him. Gods, even such a thought fills me with guilt, with shame, I had become a small degree close with him after how many times he had protected me and allowed me to heal those on the field who needed it. He never let me heal him though, always said my skills would be put to better use helping the needier. I have a high respect for him, I care for him and now these bastard 'heros' are making me kill him. If these gods they believe in are merciful, I will be defeated handily, and maybe they'll never have to find out about me. I can't begin to imagine what would happen if I survive. He'll recognize me... he knows why I left... he's the only one who knew. I hope he can forgive this bastard soul who selfishless seeks it's own survival and make my death painless. I know he does... but I still hope he doesn't remember me so he can be spared this pain.
I feel a lump well up in my throat, my eyes beginning to flood. I look down at my hand as I grab a necklace from my pocket, it bears the crest of the empire, gifted to me by none other than Rhitahtyn himself. The chain design is to resemble the pricelessness of unity, and red link in the middle the blood of those who died for the empire's cause. The tears begin to uncontrollably flow down my face, I can't stop them yet the piercing eyes behind me remain. The lump grows heavier but I dare not speak until the eyes give me mercy, and the clearly attempting to be silent steps fade until I cannot hear them any longer. Are they still here and trying to have me let my guard down? I don't care, I can't bear to live with myself any longer. I hold the crest to my heart and speak under my breath, my voice that of a broken woman, a defeated soldier. "I'm sorry Rhitahtyn, I'm so damned sorry. I only pray you can forgive me." I lay down and return the necklace to my pocket before crying myself to sleep in preperation for the fight, the one that I pray will be my last.
1 note · View note
ihaztea1 · 1 year
Text
So... my brother has a chess board set up in his room, and our dad is basically a Leprechaun. These are Important Facts, keep them in mind.
We had finished a session zero for a DnD campaign he's excited to get started and I asked him to help me with my homebrew subclass' expanded spell list. We took a break for lunch and while he was fiddling with stuff in the kitchen, I was alone in his room.
So I moved a white pawn two spaces forward and stole one of his generic brand Pringles. Ya know, as one does.
Remember how I said dad is basically a leprechaun? Yeah. Lil bro came into my room, nearly 10 hours after the fact, claiming 'Dad did it again! He moved the pawn!'
Now, obviously, this isn't the first time I've done this trick. The last time, it took him almost a full day to notice. And it took two days for him to notice I'd 'borrowed' the tiny Plauge Doctor plush I'd bought him... And that was 'cause I *yeeted it at his head!*
I digress.
The funniest part of this whole story is that he *immediately and without hesitation* blamed dad this time.
Oh, it's 100% something dad would do, no doubt, but the *immediate* blame!
Tumblr media
Which brings me to A Thought. An After 10:30 Thought.
Techno would be the kind of person to just... Have a chess board set up in either his room or the living room.
The rest of the DSMP, the SBI in particular, would also be tbe kind to move a piece quietly and stealthily, waiting for him to notice.
-------*-------
At first, his family shifts the blame around. Its totally something any of them would do, but the easiest to frame is Tommy.
He's also the one who has the hardest time shifting the blame.
It doesn't matter to Techno who did it, though the time Wilbur blamed a ghost for it was funny. (Years later, when Ghostbur moved a piece and then tried *the same lie* it wasn't nearly as funny.) What mattered, at first, was that someone touched his stuff. Then it shifted to someone wanted to play against him but didnt want to *actually* face him.
So he played back. And it wasn't a horribly easy game. Oh, Techno still acted annoyed and a little confused, because otherwise where's the fun, but he genuinely enjoyed the game.
It did, in fact, continue when he arrived on(in?) The DSMP.
***
Every time someone moves a white piece on his chess board while he's not looking, Techno huffs... But responds because *Bored* and patiently, or not so patiently, waits for the ghost player to drop by and make their next move.
It's an unspoken rule that if you see that someone has started a Ghost Game with Techno, you wait for the board to be reset before making a move of your own.
Dream is the only one who doesn't respect this. He's ruined approximately five games this way. And its obviously Dream who does it. The masked wonder doesn't know *how* its obvious but *it is*, okay?
Bonus points if this is how Techno catches on that racooninnit is hanging around. Tommy sees the board and just Can't Help Himself. He also has a distinct style that Techno recognizes On Sight, even if its a bit less direct than usual.
(Fluff points if Techno leaves a mug of coco and a few cookies by The Board. It's cold and the gremlin has only been taking gapples and health pots.)
19 notes · View notes
Text
Been a while huh, kinda just need somewhere to ramble, so guess who's back! No longer doing daily cause that's not good on my mind. I'm just gonna post when I feel rambly
So, I got a psych eval recently and finally got officially diagnosed with adhd which is nice to have on paper. Gonna get screened for some more stuff cause of hallucinations and other such things but so far just add.
I've been fighting through school because it's such a slog to get through especially academics because they're so easy and I just can't be bothered anymore but I do it with the promise of a good college after I graduate and also because I quite enjoy some of the people I know.
Speaking of those people, I've begun cutting off people that aren't good for my mental health, which has left me with a select few to talk to but honestly I prefer it like this, it's quaint.
I have also once again found myself in love with someone, or as in love as my aroace ass can be, he's great really nice really pretty and just geisgjsothek so yeah that's been a fun plauge in my thoughts.
And finally my identity! Figured out I'm Agender(voidpunk ftw) AsexualAromantic(these two are still being questioned but I'm so tired of questioning) so pronouns have changed to it/its and I now get to deal with "Do I want a qpr or an actual relationship????" which is funny.
That's all for now, see ya next time I get rambly(probably when he does something again)
1 note · View note
lemonluvgirl · 2 years
Note
Hello! First off, love all your stories, including PMB and your BBBF and GC. When do you think you'll be able to update Golden Cages again? I've missed it so much! Thanks!
Hi! Thank you so much for reading my stories!! It's always very encouraging when someone expresses an interest in my writing!
Tumblr media
I have actually been trying to work through the next chapter of Golden Cages for quite a while (5 months or so) and I kept getting stuck. 😔 But the other day I had a Skype session with my wonderful beta reader, Simone Snickers and we worked out a few things. So there's been progress on detangling the plot knots 🪢 that have been plauging GC.
And since you asked so nicely, I'm just going to be straight with you. I have actually been trying to finish PMLB first since there's like 7 chapters or so left for that fic. (While GC is only about half way through) That and I got distracted by a few writing ask prompts people sent me here on Tumblr and wrote a lot of short stories because I have impulse problems when it comes to everlark. That and there was a lot going on in real life that severely constricted my writing time and creativity. (Work, problems at work, over time put into work, etc.)
Tumblr media
Having said all of that... I have just recently fulfilled many of my writing obligations and will be getting some time off from work soon because it's summer yay! Hopefully that will allow me to make progress on all of my works in progress including Golden Cages. I hesitate to post anything for that story because it's so near and dear to my heart and I want to make sure whatever I post is good quality. But, this long rambling answer is coming to a close, so thank you again for your continued interest. I have a few future snippets from future GC chapters I'm gonna drop here at the end to make up for everything.
Tumblr media
GC snippit from future chapter: (this is still a rough draft FYI) 
(Peeta POV) 
There is a bitter empty feeling in my chest as I watch her on the screen, dancing with someone else who looks almost exactly like me. 
It burns into a slow, helpless ache that hollows me out and leaves me feeling like a shell. 
I keep telling myself not to react, not to lose it, but it's impossible. All around me dinner has come to an abrupt halt, as everyone in the mess hall watches the scene unfolding with rapt attention.
My hands are visibly shaking, as the velvety texture of her voice floats out from the screen and wraps itself around my brain. Her voice haunts me. Everytime I hear it it's like my body doesn’t remember that she’s hundreds of miles away. I’m tricked into feeling like I could just run to her if given half the chance. My heart pounds, and I have to fight the urge  to bolt out the door, or towards the tv. 
It hurts to see her, dressed up like a doll and passed between the two men. 
I have no idea what she’s going through right now, or what happens to her when the cameras aren’t rolling. Just the thought of anyone hurting her makes me go blind with rage. And yet with the performance she’s being forced to give, and the way the two men are looking at her, it is clear what Snow wants people to think. 
But I can’t look away. I almost can’t breathe. Not until they finish the song. 
And then he’s kissing her. Full on the lips, and she’s stiff as a board. Until she isn’t. And then his hands are all over her. I’ve never wanted to absolutely rip someone apart with my bare hands, but right now, I could do it. I could do it and not feel an ounce of remorse. I could do it and sleep like a damn baby afterward. 
When his hand slips down to cup her ass, everything inside me freezes up. The tension inside my body is unbearable, finding no outlet for the rising tide of fury that eats away at me as I stare and stare at the screen. 
I will fucking destroy him, I vow. I will beat him to a bloody pulp and then some. Until he can never use his hands again, or his lips. Him and every other worthless son of a bitch that has ever put their hands on her, to cause pain, or fear.  Until they are nothing but an unpleasant memory that I will soothe when she is safe in my arms again. 
The anger, and the desperation is so thick in my throat that I make a choking sound because of the increasing pressure. All around me I can hear stirrings of alarm, anxious whispers of worry. People are staring at the image of her stunned and horrified face that the Capitol camera people aren’t quick enough to cut away from. 
Or maybe they stay on the close up of her face on purpose, out of some sick and twisted enjoyment. I watch as she stumbles away, and falls back against the chest of the dark haired man. The one who looks like Gale. He puts his arm possessively around her. 
I look over to see the real man in question, sitting with his siblings and mother. Gale’s face is like a hurricane of anger, dark and swirling with barely contained emotions. 
He is not the only one. I look at Haymitch and Deen beside me and they wear similar furious expressions. Prim, who has been trying her best to appear unaffected, is now crying openly. Two lines of tears run down her angelically sweet face and I forget my anger, and move to comfort her. But Deen beats me to it, turning in his chair and wrapping one arm around her slim shoulders. She turns to weep into his shirt and I swallow the thick emotions building in my throat. The other victors that sit with us also look sickened and slightly panicked. Annie in particular has tears in her eyes and casts me such a pitying and knowing look that it hits me like a rock to the chest. 
 It's the empathy in her eyes that gets me. 
Because Annie loves Finnick. Who’s been sold over and over again for years. How many times has she watched the man she loves in the arms of another on the screen? How did she cope with knowing that all of it was against his will? And how has she not gone completely insane yet? I certainly feel dangerously close to falling apart completely. 
 I can practically hear Snow taunting me. Look at what I can do to the person you love most. Look at how helpless you are. You think you’re safe and protected in District 13. But you’re not. I can get to you anytime I want. I can hurt you. I can make you bleed. I can drive you mad. And there’s nothing you can do about it.
...
So yeah, there’s a little bit of proof that GC is alive and relatively well in my heart dear reader! I shall make more of an effort to get the next chapter out as soon as I get some more free time! Hope you liked this snippit and sorry for the super long answer! 
4 notes · View notes
Note
What did you thought of Kirsten as Claudia back in the 90s? was the movie as hard to watch as the tv series is now?
I was so scared of the movie when it came out. I was alone at the time, and I believe it's well known now that I am not given to good mental states when I am alone. So....
I didn't watch it.
I avoided the whole damn thing like the plauge, despite Armand's best efforts to drag me to the theatre. I wanted nothing to do with it. I didn't want to see her again. I didn't want to see us when we were happy. I didn't want to see my family portrayed through the lens of my own depression. I ignored it's existence for years, which was a much easier feat in a pre-internet society.
I finally saw it at some point early in the new melinnium, after the incident with Claudia's ghost that David saw fit to immortalize in the book you call Merrick. I was recovering, being well taken care of my Lestat and David, and feelings were running high, and one night our dear Maman showed up with a personal DVD player and the DVD of the movie, DVDs were still relatively novel at the time, and that was when I finally saw it. Gabrielle, who has always been strangely adept with technology, rigged something to project it into the whitewashed side of the house, and we all watched it together. She rightly thought I aught to cope with the interpretation while I was being open about my feelings about Claudia. I sobbed into Lestat's sleeve when I first saw her little curled head upon the pillow. I was transported into a world where my daughter had gotten to be ten, and even that seemed too old to me. We clung to eachother for days after, just talking. I slept in his coffin with him, like a fledgeling.
I genuinely do not think I could withstand seeing any interpretation of my little girl without Lestat's arms around me to steady me. One of the reasons I'm so excited to have another interpretation is because we get to experience this one together.
As to Kristen Dunst's performance, she was positively stellar and I still hold her Claudia dear. I liked the way she added a bit of scheming manipulation to Claudia. It was timely. She gave Lestat and I a lot to talk about when it came to our daughter's darker nature that we needed to address.
1 note · View note
shierieon · 3 years
Text
Why is Roll Cake Cookie a Roll Cake Cookie when he could've been a Pinwheel Cookie-
7 notes · View notes
julesapprentice · 2 years
Text
[This post brought to you as a result of me starting and finishing Ghosts, highly recommend]
[Also Asras is a bit long whoops, I just had a lot of ideas for them]
Asra's, Muriel's and Julians reactions to you being able to see ghosts:
Introduction:
Three years ago you died from the plauge having possesd magic but nothing quite in the way of supernatural powers such as these. When you awoke that day you found your life would be different than it had been before, for a many reasons besides your newfound ability. You have been resurrected a shell of human clininging to your old life in death in your new exsistance.
Asra:
When you awoke it was asras face you first saw and his arms that first held you
The peices of their beloved were lying in his arms barley assembled and ready to shatter
You were so fragile then and asra did nothing but worry about you, wherever he was regardless of if you were present their thoughts were of you
Ever the more so as a result of this development, you could see ghosts
His partner could see ghosts
Well...
Honestly this is going to be incredibly difficult at first, Asra might be as broken as you are now held together by their unwavering devotion to you. He's so scared now, so afraid that you'll leave again and he has nothing left to give to bring you back to him
Asra keeps replaying the day in their head of when he left you, you were alone then and you were alone when you died
He fears to leave you like that again if they can help it, sometimes it gets too much and he runs but if he were stronger he would keep himself put
In a way they feel as though you are alone now, in a new world with a new obstacle that he can't face with you
Things are going to be tough for a while actually
You are effectively as much a person as the ghosts that surround you
Asra has so much to teach you, to walk, to talk and to forget what is so fundamentally abnormal about your exsistance lest it hurt you
He's hardly prepared for any of this
When you first start talking to the air or dodging people who aren't present, calling for friends you've never had and laughing at nothing Asra fears the worst
He's worried its a side effect, another price to pay
When you start to become more you again he'll ask you questions
Until then he keeps you sheltered from the judgemental hearts of others
He doesn't want you to hide who you are or feel ashamed but your saftey comes first
When asra first learns of your predicament you are stronger than you were
You can't tell the difference between ghosts and people, how does one tell something apart when they have never been seperated
It would be like asking you to tell the green apple from the yellow mixed with blue apple
He's going to catch you trying to serve ghosts at the shop a couple times and has to stop you because you can't survive on ghost currency
As much as he is scared for you he wants you to be happy
He's always told you he would love you no matter what and he truly means that
Tell them about your ghost friends and help him feel included in this
Honestly he wants to know everything, names, what they look like, why they're haunting somewhere and if they can help with rent
You can probably bond with faust over this, she seems like the kind of snake that could see ghosts as evedently she has very keen senses
She's going to try and converse with the ghosts with you and it's adorable, she'll give them all names too
Asra hears 'headless friend!' in his head and passes away
If your ghost friends can interact with objects he's going to include them in activities
You walk in on him teaching Tarot to one of them, you thought he was telekenetic
Ghost jumpers? It's the thought that counts even if they can't wear them
He might ask for their help for readings to create atmosphere, mess with the lights, knock things off
He's no charlatan but it couldn't hurt business
Besides the look on people's faces is priceless
They're not going to be that paranoid about the ghosts watching him through the day, he just goes on as normal
If you can see ghosts from people that died of the plauge he's going to be very nervous
He may have to tell you earlier considering your past is surrounding you
When they do it breaks his heart because they know what's going through your head
He's going to the most supportive from beginning to end
Muriel:
... Excuse me?
He's not going to belive you when you first tell him
Doesn't matter if you've been together for 10 days or 10 years
Well maybe if it was 10 years there would've been signs and it would make sense but you get the idea
He's gonna give you a look to say 'what are you talking about?'
Don't push trying to explain it onto him because it's going to take him a while to belive you
He thinks you're trying to play a joke on him at first and gets a bit upset thinking you're mocking him
Sit him down and explain things breifly, give him time to come around to the idea
You live in the woods so due to the isolation theres probably less ghosts
If you get overwhelmed easily then this is probably the best place to be
He's going to be suspicious at first, of them not you
They're not here are they? Good...
Thinks twice before doing certain things again
Gives a dirty look over his shoulder when he goes to bathe
He's mostly just gonna let you do your own thing
Now if you can see the ghosts of animals get ready
He's gonna be sad at first but supposes it inevitable
Will ask you things about them and if they're ok
Might ask you about the heart of the forest, he still feels slightly bad about that even knowing it wasn't his fault
He's soft
If innana can sense them she's either super calm about or super on edge there is no other emotion
If the spirits bother you he might have to revise his protection charms
Julian:
This might be a massive problem for him
Julian is a coward let's face it, he gets stronger but hes easily spooked by an odd noise or ominous room
He's going to be very on edge for a long time
At first he's worried you might have suffered some sort of injury but seeing as you've been coping with this for 3 years before you 'met' Julian that can safely be ruled out
He'll come to the diagnosis that it was in fact to do with your death
He already blames himself for your death still and will blame himself for this
He assumes you must be suffering and carries that burden with him
Julian has gotten better at communicating though which will hopefully lead to a fruitful conversation about how you really feel
He'll feel horrible if you can see ghosts that died of the plauge
He doesn't want to remind you of your death or everything you're missing and he feels responsible for those deaths
If you find any of it distressing he's going to try extra hard to distract you and probably injure himself in the process
Which to be fair would be a distraction
It's already a little scary for him that you can see ghosts so try not to spook him further because if he's tired enough or caught of guard in the right way he might tear up
Malak can see ghosts
That is fact
Even if he couldn't he'd pretend he could just to scare julian
What can I say they have a special bond
We've all seen it
That very special bond between man and his familiar wherein the latter tries to make the former shake like a house caught in an earthquake
A very special bond indeed
He will eventually become accustomed to it
He's charismatic so if he can charm a crowd before his execution he can charm a few ghosts
They're probably quite entertained by him
It not often the dead get to mingle with someone so eccentric with such a big personality
Julians presence is an nice change for them that they enjoy
The more mishevious among them will join in with trying to spook him though
161 notes · View notes
r0-boat · 2 years
Note
Should I be breeding or priest!ingo now?
Well anyway....
Ingo stared helplessly at the ceiling. Sleep just simply escape his grasp every time. Each time he tries to close his eyes he is only met with her face and kind smile before he jumps awake again.
The man sighs heavily he hasn't had such an affliction since he was young but the priest of the church had always warned him to stay away from such feelings.
His brother emmet always tells him that the priest were crazy to tell him to deny his emotions for some reason they weren't as stick on his brother as they were with him.
They weren't unkind however....they were harsher when it came to him. They often forced him away from others his age beside his brother. While his brother was able to form friendships with the other children of their town.
He only knows the ways of the church. Its all he has ever known. However this new comer... is making him question things about the church and about himself.
"I mustn't think about my friend in this way the last thing I want is to make them uncomfortable with my actions."
But nonetheless his thoughts still plauged him greatly. The priest tried to sleep the best he could but his thoughts leaked into his dreams as well...
' he was holding you close to his chest as you layer on the bed together. A warm soft smile was spread across your face as you cuddled close to him. He felt so at peace within your arms like nothing could go wrong however... he felt like he could be doing something much more...intimate with his darling.
As he thought of this you started moving until you look into his sliver eyes with a love filled gaze and a kind smile.
"Father ingo...part of my heart...I wish to give you something very...very special."
Ingo smiled at you with a love stuck gaze "of course my love but you needn't you buy me anything you wishing to love me is all I ask for."
He told you your blush deepen at his kind and romantic words. You took one of his hands and gently placed it right over your heart where it laid beating faster than a weed eater.
"Father ingo...I wish to give you my body." You said in an out of breath tone as you gently used his hand to pull down the zipper of your shirt.
Only to reveal a skimpy set of black lingerie that caused the priest heart to skip a beat. The bra you wore clung to your chest so tightly causing the flesh of your breast to be pushed up.
The priest heart pounded harder against his chest as he stared up at you like your his God.
You smile gently as you put his hand on your breast letting him to feel how soft and warm you were. The sin of flesh that he has always been warned never to touch let alone think about.
A man of the church he was supposed to be he was supposed to reject the very idea of intercourse yet he felt his loins grow even hotter as you stared down at him.
"Father ingo...forgive me but you have plauged my mind so greatly...my body lusts for your child..."
Ingo gasped sharply as he jolted awake the morning sun upon his face and his morning wood rise like a warning flag...
Hoping tumblr doesn't eat this.
Breeding or priest ingo anon
BRAKBBSBDB
37 notes · View notes
pinkpruneclodwolf · 2 years
Note
this has been plauging me for a while now so just a quick question but: for the first years (adeuce + ramshackle + epel + jack + sebek) what do you think are their themes and how do yo think they can grow as characters? I always thought that Yuu's themes were agency + relationships (or their lack of therefore) and Grim's being growing up + accepting mistakes/losses with grace. But like I'm not sure and that I'm stumped w the rest too--more specifically jack and sebek and ace's mainly :sob: (I'm pretty sure Epel and Deuce's is acceptance of oneself but putting it at just that seems wrong ig). Please send help.
Ooooh this is such a late answer—
I think of Sebek's theme as lightning that hasn't struck yet, its all thunder (Malleus) but no lightning or just lightning trapped in a bottle. This stems from the fact that he wasn't able to strike yet bc of chapter 7 being last, his late character development, and the fact that the fans don't really fw him rn. I don't like Sebek for all his human hating nonsense, but I do think he has the potential to be a fan fave considering who he might be during/after the events of Chap 7.
Moving on to Jack— i def see the components of the wolf he was based on, lemme give you the run down:
So the plot is basically about a wolf dog whose life begins after The Indians save him, but the pups never accept him, and the leader, Lip-Lip, singles him out for persecution. White Fang grows to become a savage, callous, morose, solitary, and deadly fighter, "the enemy of his kind".
This is all before his mother dies and he has to run away from the camp to soon become a fighter in an illegal ring of dog fighting.
Jack Howl actually parallels White Fangs life pretty well—being singled out by the dorm and dorm leaders, being considered a lone wolf due to the fact that he's not accepted into the pack (Savanaclaw) and during the events of Chap 2 where he's declared "the enemy of his kind" due to essentially betraying Leona's plan.
Epel is based off the apple that poisoned Snow White if we're being point blank—however, we could look at the symbolic meaning:
Being used as a tool for others to gain the upper hand—we see time and time again that with Epel's constant need to want to be independent he ends up embarrassing himself and growing bitter (read: poisoning) until he has someone guide him (read: eat) then he truly fulfills his purpose, like when he grew that plant in just a few days compared to the months that take for it to grow.
I also think he's often overlooked just as how the apple in Snow white is overlooked in lieu of Queen Grimhilde (Snow White's step mother) and the Hunter.
For Ace it's in the name Trappola—which means "Trap" based on a game where the goal is to win with the last trick with the lowest card while also getting 100 points—like uno, you trick other players into thinking your hand is one color or another while also dropping down 4+ or cancel cards (I've never played poker all I know is that you keep a straight face)
You can see this symbolism play a part in how he introduces himself—he tricked Yuu and Grim into thinking that he was a helpful kiddo only to turn around and call you stupid, he skipped on washing 100 windows in favor of going back to Heartslabyul, he ate Riddle's tart instead of making himself a snack—in Chap 3, we know that Ace is smart as fuck when his score is in the 90s compared to Grim and Deuce's, he skipped out on doing the work in favor of winning by "trick" card.
Deuce Spade, going off of the Spade card suit it represents winter (old age), where humans gain knowledge and transform—In Chap 5 we see that Deuce is the second 1st year to develop his UM compared to smart-until-dumb Ace. Spades also symbolise the warrior class and you can see this in his monster like strength and endurance (he straight up fought Jack Howl, took a direct hit from the OB monster in the Mines, and even in his robes a Savanaclaw student stated something about his monsterous strength, mind you this is Savanaclaw known for martial arts and magift)
Deuce means two and two in the card suit means Union, take what you will from that. He's also based of the Horned King, from his primary summoning object being Cauldrons, something the Horned King sought after to unleash an army of cauldron born warriors.
@mia-pon289 said that Yuu had the base of Chernabog, the devil in Fantasia, specifically the hide behind appearances base.
Again take from that what you will.
Grim also shares a base with Chernabog, the fire base—you can see that in his void ability being primarily blue fire.
I think these def play a role in how their relationships form—Sebek is quick to lash out, Jack is tsun because he doesn't want to get close to people (his base lost a whole lot of people its actually sad) Epel's base comes out in his toxic mindset about masculinity and femininity, Ace's base shines in times where he has to trick people to get what he wants I mentioned that he utilizes weaponized incompetence, Deuce's base shines with his ability of cauldrons and being ruthless (the horned king is actually one of the most ruthless in the Disney universe), and he does right by his name in the transformation and gaining knowledge although he doesn't retain it well.
Grim and Yuu literally are in our faces about being two in one. And Chernabog also has wings sooooooooooo.
Overall, this was a rundown rather than a theory.
35 notes · View notes