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#this thought has literally been consuming my mind

moon7jay · 25 days

Text

ㄴ CHERRY🍒 ㄱ : Lee Heeseung

pairing : pervert!heeseung x virgin!reader

cheeries to pop this semester : Y/N (Heeseung's pick)

Warnings : toxic heeseung, manipulation, coercion, morally gray characters, dub con, infidelity, angst, filthy smut, masturbation, voyeurism, exhibitionism, body image issues, body shaming, family issues (it gets heavy), unprotected sex, cum eating, violence, dacryphilia.

Wc : 23k+

a/n : IT'S FINALLY HERE OMG, this is my first full length fic on here and I really put my all into it, please reblog and leave feedbacks, it's really really important for me, I cherish all of your words so much<3

!!!!!!! READ PREVIEW FIRST !!!!!!!!

You're quite literally the most stuck up thing Heeseung has ever laid his eyes on. It’s the way you stick out like a sore thumb; Your ponytail is meticulously braided, the grandma skirt that you chose to wear cascades down, stopping just beneath your knees in a habitual fashion and your pressed pink silk blouse is impeccably buttoned up to the collar, not one inch of extra skin in sight.

The book clutched tightly against your chest ties your entire look of “austere sophistication” together.

"Microprocessors", the title reads. Pfft. Typical of you. Only you can clutch onto such a demonic book like it is some quality literature. Heeseung nearly fights the urge to scoff.

You're peak virgin demonstration if Heeseung’s ever seen one. Your embodiment of purity is unparalleled, and it feels like a personal attack on his masculinity that he hasn't been able to get you under him yet. Keyword : yet.

As he backs you up against the wall, your eyes downcast and your free hand nervously fiddling with the button of your blouse, he thinks you look pathetic. You exude an air of pitiful vulnerability, and it ignites a primal desire within him to consume you entirely.

You're nervous and it’s palpable. He can see it in the way you don't even meet his eyes, refusing to face him at all. The blush adorning the apple of your cheeks is adorable; fuck, you're cute. And Heeseung doesn't like cute things. But something about you makes you the exception to his usual preferences. Your innocence only provokes him more, acting as a catalyst, intensifying his desire to unleash all his darkest fantasies on your inexperienced body. He wants to explore you, peel off your layers and dive in deep like no one has ever done before. This need, this innate urge to taint you; it drives him absolutely feral.

"Did you watch the video I sent you last night?" he asks, unable to stop himself from leaning into your space, taking a deep whiff of your vanilla perfume. You even smell like a virgin. Fresh and untainted. And, oh so tempting.

Your head shakes meekly, but the discreet way you bite your lower lip tells him that you did watch it. Fuck yeah. He was high and horny when he recorded that nut video. Pressing send wasn’t on his agenda but his head was filled with the sinful thoughts of you and your pretty pink lips, and what better way to testify his desire to you than making you see how he looks in throes of pleasure, chanting your name like a literal dog in heat.

You yelp when his hand grabs your waist to pull you closer to himself. God, you feel good against him.

He nuzzles his nose into your warm cheek while your tiny fist makes contact with his chest "let-let go" you squeak out and it only makes him chuckle in amusement. You're so fucking cute.

"you liked it baby? Bet you liked how I stroked my dick nice and slow, just for you" He watches in glee as the red in your cheeks spreads all the way down to your neck. He loves how responsive you are, loves how even the littlest of words make you falter in front of him, like a frail flower caught in a sudden gust of wind. Then you look up, and Heeseung feels his breath leaving his chest, as if the air has been vacuumed from his lungs .Your big, captivating eyes meet his dark ones and he can't help but let his perverse curiosity take over his sick mind. He wonders how your pretty orbs look when you cry.

Scratch that. He wants to see you cry.

What makes this thought more unsettling is that fact that Heeseung isn't apposed to seeing you cry in pain. As long he gets to see your eyes brimming with tears , he cannot give less of a fuck about their source. He'll fuck you missionary, Heeseung decides, staring deep into your eyes while he slides deep inside your tight little pussy. His cock chubs up at the thought alone.

"you c-can''t send me stuff like that, it's inappropriate" you mumble shyly. He snickers and squeezes the fat of your waist, making another pathetic squeak to leave your mouth.

"What can I do darling, there's not one appropriate thought in my head when it comes to you. wanna do so many inappropriate things to you, you’ll let me won’t you?" He whisper asks, and watches how your eyes struggle to maintain eye contact before you succumb to your shyness, choosing to look down instead.

"Heeseung, man, it’s time to go " Jake's panicked voice interrupts the filthy words he was about to mutter in your ears again. He turns his head slightly towards the entrance of the hall and sees Jake's brown mop of hair, rustling right outside. Heeseung sighs and turns back to face you.

"Looks like we'll have to cut our fun short, you'll wait for my call tonight won't you baby? wanna hear your voice when I cum" He tells you, reveling in the way you only curl into yourself at his words, chewing your bottom lip raw. Fuck he wants to kiss the fuck out of you. But he can't. Not yet. Heeseung is aware of the boundaries he’s been crossing by touching you and sending you intimate stuff without your consent, and he doesn't want to push it, not so fast.He lets go of your body reluctantly and winks at you before making his way out of the hall. Jake's frantic eyes meet his once he's outside, and he rolls his eyes, already sensing an incoming lecture about morals and respect.

"I'm never gonna be your guard dog again, it's risky fucking business" Jake spits,brows furrowed in distress. Heeseung merely shakes his head at him "you won't get it" he mumbles as he walks ahead, leaving Jake to run to catch up to him

"Yeah, I don't see the fun in being suspended, but hey, maybe that's just me" Jake replies sarcastically ,making Heeseung give him “the” look. "Dramatic much?" He asks, rounding the corner to the cafeteria and making his way inside.

"I'm being dramatic? You're the one risking your reputation for some pussy, we can both be in jail for sexual harassment". Heeseung tunes out his friend's baseless rant and plops onto his designated seat. Jake slumps down right next to him.

"Man I'm just saying, that if she ever decides to go to the dean about this, your messages will be proof enough to land you in big trouble" Jake explains. “and me too because you drag me into every unethical thing like the good friend that you are” he adds, sarcasm dripping from his tone, and Heeseung wonders when Jake fell victim to the sassy men apocalypse.

But you won't, you love the chase as much as he does, he can see it in your eyes, Heeseung wants to say, but he doesn’t, choosing to stare at you instead. His eyes trace the movement of your figure when you enter the cafeteria sometime later. You're still hugging the book to your chest, making your way to the seat that's the farthest away from everyone else, as always. Your skirt makes his hands itch, he wants to know what lies underneath so fucking badly. He wonders if you know the effect that your modesty has on him, wonders if you know that your body being covered from head to toe gives more space for fantasy and yearning than any naked girl ever could.

"Stare any longer and your eyeballs might fall out of their sockets" Sunghoon’s berating voice brings his attention back to the table. He was so lost in you that he didn't notice sunghoon flopping down in the seat right across from him, shrugging his jacket off and throwing it unceremoniously on the table.

"She's gonna be the death of me" Heeseung bemoans, running an exasperated hand over his face. Sunghoon laughs and kicks his leg under the table.

"She already saw her name in that list that day, she knows what you want, and I don't think she'll let you anywhere near her anytime soon". Jake snorts, masking it with a cough when Heeseung shoots a glare in his direction.

He looks over at you again, finding the way you fiddle with your pen oddly erotic. He thinks he might be losing his goddamn mind, because the way he jerked off right after you angrily threw the “cherries to pop this semester” list on his face and stormed off , was shameful to say the least. That was the first time he had seen pure heat and raw emotion in your eyes, and damn you looked sexy as hell when you were angry.

"She won't be a virgin by the end of this semester, write it down" Heeseung challenges, meeting Sunghoon's eyes. His friend only shrugs in response and turns around to look at you over his shoulder.

"Sure, but by the looks of it, you won't be the one doing the honors" Jake snorts again , but Heeseung doesn't spare him a glance this time, his entire attention pivoted to the raven haired boy making his way over to your table. Heeseung doesn't like the way your eyes light up and you instantly sit up straighter in your seat, fixing your hair as if looking to impress. He scoffs. Loudly. Fucking park jongseong.

"Does she really find that dweeb attractive?" He can't help but ask, jaw clenching when he sees you blushing, genuinely blushing and smiling at someone who's not him.

"I dunno man, girls love that whole nerdy gentleman thing jay's got going on, some bullshit about being a green flag and all" Sunghoon supplies.

"They're friends too, lover boy's got game" Jake adds, smiling cheekily when Heeseung shoots him a dark look, yet again.

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You're in a trance like state when you walk back home. With the whole hall incident with Heeseung, and jay approaching you at lunch, today doesn’t seem real, as if belonging to a different reality altogether.

What you feel for Heeseung isn't something that you can describe in words. He.. He harasses you. He touches you and grabs you and gropes you, but within limits. His actions lie in a murky territory, perplexing the norms of acceptability, and yet, you only yearn more. does that make sense? Maybe it doesn't to normal people, but in your touch starved brain, it perfectly makes sense. Some days you hate him and some days you crave him, always oscillating between the extremes of loathing and longing. You suppose that's because he's been the only source of thrill amidst the barren landscape of your existence for a very long time. He excites you, he flusters you, but ignites flames beneath your breastbone with mere words. His gaze unnerves you and yet, you can't bring yourself to push him away. Some would call you crazy, and you won't have any convincing arguments to defend yourself.

You have been a little desperate all your life, desperate for someone to want you, desperate for someone to see you, a ceaseless yearning for recognition, for acknowledgement of your existence and you're not ashamed to admit it. After all, how far can you lie about the very thing etched into your bones and skin? And to what end?

More, more, more, the intense craving, an insatiable hunger for it defined your very being. You were an unattractive child and grew up into an even more unappealing adult , at least that's what your mother used to tell you before she eventually passed away. Her echoes of criticism resonated through your subconscious, shaping you as a mirror of her own insecurities.

That would explain why you can't meet your own eyes in the mirror, and crave attention like a drug, seeking solace in the fleeting attention Heeseung bestows upon you. He's akin to a drug that leaves you high and delusional for a while, intoxicating you with fleeting moments of desirability.

You aren't stupid though, you harbor no illusions regarding his intentions . You know what he wants from you, you are aware that you as a person don't mean a thing to him, he just wants to take your virginity and flaunt it around like a badge of peak male prowess or something, you're just another challenge to him, reduced to a mere conquest for his vanity. But you haven't felt like a person in so long, you don't think you are in any position to make demands.

When you've been parched long enough, when the thirst reaches fever pitch, threatening to push you over the verge of insanity; the yearning for satisfaction eclipses the rationality of self preservation. The moment of brief satiation held such a twisted appeal, that you were willing to embrace pain and self destruction if it came along with a fleeting sense of fulfillment. The need for validation clouds your judgement, and you become nothing but a mindless puppet of your desires.

That might also explain why your crush on park jongseong is still alive after being brutally rejected in the first semester. Jay and you had developed a friendship really quickly at the very beginning of college, but both of you had never really talked outside of the university hackathons and coding competitions. His knowledge was what drew you to him, and the way he was able to come up with solutions to the most complex problems while you were fighting for your life, it just left you with no choice but to watch him with heart eyes. He was always polite to you too, and what were you if not a sucker for gentle and soft spoken men.

He stopped talking to you after you confessed though, not completely because you still had to work on projects together, but conversations became more one sided and short, and so eventually, you just grew apart.

But ever since you got grouped together for the Cp techathon, he has started acting different; there’s so many lingering touches and subtle flirty glances that sometimes you’re sure you’re imagining everything in your head. Maybe you should get checked out for maladaptive daydreaming. Just a suggestion.

You're pulled out of your thoughts when you reach the curb of your house and don't see your dad's car parked inside. You breathe out a sigh of relief at the sight and proceed to make your way to your neighbor’s house. Suzy, your 60 year old neighbor, might be the only good thing going on for you. As you ring her door bell, you can't help but feel excited at the prospect of seeing your brother after an entirety of 2 whole weeks. Pitter patter of slippers approaches the door , and Suzy's wrinkled face greets you with a warm smile, as if she was already expecting you.

"Hi" you smile, and she motions behind her, at the loud chatter of your brother.

"Jihoon has not stopped asking for you for a second" She says , and you can't help but laugh as you make your way inside.

The four year old stops talking to his toys as soon as he sees you, his blue orbs staring at you for a whole minute in amazement, and then , as if snapping out of a trance, he sprints towards you at the speed of lightening. "Y/n! " he squeals.

You giggle when he tackles you with a hug, sighing in contentment at finally feeling him so close. You're hit with a sudden urge to cry, feeling his tiny arms wrap around your neck, being away from him never gets easy no matter how many times you have done it. You coo as he tells you how much he missed you, burying his tiny frame further into your chest. You press several kisses to his face and tell him you missed him just as much.

"Will you be taking him home today?" Suzy asks, coming over to sit down on the couch in front of you. You caress the back of jihoon's head, rocking him back and forth in your embrace, and meet her eyes, nodding a little. "Dad won't be home for a few weeks, hopefully, his car isn't there" you tell her. She nods in understanding and pats your arm, letting you know with her eyes, that she'll be here if you need her.

You're grateful for her, she's the only person you can entrust your little brother with when things start to get bad at home. On the days your dad decides to get shit faced and break everything in the house, succumbing to bouts of inebriation, you're grateful that you can keep jihoon away from the violence. You honestly don't know what you would do without Suzy, the only steadfast refuge from the chaos that is your life. In some way, you are aware that having jihoon over alleviates her loneliness too, fulfilling her own needs of companionship that she deeply craves in her old age.

Occasionally, you're hit with a wave of inevitable jealousy at jihoon’s sheltered innocence, wishing that someone had kept you away too; from the violence and the pain. But you guess you were meant to be the protector instead of the protected, healing your inner child every time you see jihoon smiling brighter than the sun. If you had to live through all the suffering again , just to preserve and shelter his infectious smile, you would do it in a heartbeat.

Suzy hands you a box of home made food when you make your way outside. "I promise to be back for you in a few hours sweetie, you will behave right?" you coo at jihoon's snotty, red nose as he clings onto your leg, begging you to take him with you. You sigh and watch in helplessness as Suzy picks him up in her arms, shushing him down so you can leave. It never gets easier.

Returning home, you dodge the broken pieces of glass and frames, quickly get out of your college attire, throwing on a pair of worn out jeans and a discolored top. There's still an hour for you to be at your part time job , and so you start cleaning the house instead. You don't know why you bother, to be honest, but there's an innate need that craves normalcy. When the house is clean, that means everything is going to be okay. Cleaning serves as a ritual of order amidst chaos, offering a sense of control amidst uncertainty.

Your shift at the cafe ends in a daze, countless customers come in and go out, some rude, some decent but you have learnt to take everything in a stride now. First month you had started working this job, you were a crying mess after the end of almost every shift, your sensitive little heart unable to comprehend why people were so rude. However, just like everything else in your life, you adapted to the demands of the job pretty quickly. As you stare at the now almost deserted cafe, save for a handful of students engrossed in their laptops, you pray that no one else comes in. Fatigue weighs heavily upon you, you’re exhausted out of your mind and just want to get out of here as soon as you can. Yet, as the familiar chime of the entrance bell resounds, signaling the arrival of yet another customer, you resign yourself to another interaction.

Your head snaps towards the door and your jaw quite literally falls to the floor. For as long as you have worked here, you've never run into any of your classmates. However, today out of all days, when you look like the wall mart version of the walking dead, park fucking jongseong is here. Because of course he is, your life has to be a social experiment.

You pull yourself together when you realize that he's smiling at you, and you aren't smiling back. "Hi" you squeak out, fairly sure that you sounded pathetic. He grins at your flustered state, and leans closer to you on the counter.

"Hi" He whispers back, your heart beating faster at the look he's giving you. You stare at his perfectly parted raven hairs and mentally pass out when he fiddles with his lip ring.

"Um-so- what can i get you?" You stutter out, finally coming to your senses and realizing that you have a job. His eyes travel down to your chest , and he leans further into your personal space, his expensive cologne filling up your senses.

"I'll take you" He replies smoothly.

"I-, what-you huh" you splutter, not quite trusting your own ears. There's no way Jay is flirting with you right now. The crush that you've harbored for the boy blooms in full glory as he continues to smile at you, a suggestive glint in his eyes. His smile is so damn pretty.

"I'm kidding pretty girl, I just saw you from across the street and thought I'd say hi, and ask if you need a ride back home" He explains. Your lips tug into a shy smile at the nickname, and you peek outside to see his gray Volkswagen parked across the street. Oh wow, Jay thinks you're pretty AND he wants to give you a ride back home. Why does that sound so familiar? You’re pretty sure you saw this same scenario playing out in one of your lovesick dreams last week.

"Oh-um- i don't wanna cause you any trouble" you mumble , hoping that he doesn't see the way your back is ramrod straight all of a sudden. You never really prepared yourself for the possibility of him , or anyone for that matter, wanting to drop you at your house. You're not ashamed of your neighborhood or the life that you live, but you despise the looks of judgement and pity more. You have managed to maintain this facade of a properly put together person for so long in college, and it has saved you so much mental torture that you know would ensue once everyone gets to know about your humble abode, and how your scholarship is the only reason you’re able to afford your college.

"come on sweetheart, would I really walk all the way across the street if I really didn't wanna see you?" He asks, fiddling with his lip ring again. If you didn't know any better, you would say he looks sort of nervous. But why would anyone be nervous of you. Of all people.

You nod meekly and mumble a quick "my shift gets over in 5 minutes", trying to wrap your head around the fact that Jay wanted to see you. HE wanted to see YOU. Jay winks at you and makes his way outside. You follow him with your eyes as he crosses the street and goes back inside his car, waiting for you.

HE'S WAITING FOR YOU. What on god’s green earth.

Seeing that there's only one customer left, you hurriedly make your way to the ladies toilet and wash your face, trying to get rid of the tiredness and grime off of it. What if he kisses you? Your own delusion makes you laugh. You do have some nerve at coming up with such insane scenarios in your head. He's just being nice, and here you are, hearing wedding bells.

You reapply your lip balm and take off the apron you were adorning over your tee. You look okay. Well. There's not much you can do in the current situation anyway. You do hope that he overlooks how unkempt you look compared to your college appearance. Should you untie your hairs? But, wouldn't that be too much? He just saw you with a ponytail... fuck it, it's like a once in a lifetime opportunity anyway. You untie your hairs and let them fall in cascades over your shoulders. This is better.

You clean up behind you and inform the remaining customer that it's closing time. Handing the keys to Ralph, the security guard, you quickly run across the street, not wanting to make him wait any longer. Jay opens the car door for you from the inside even before you can reach it.

"Hop in" He says, a grin in his voice and he doesn't have to ask you twice.

This might be the most expensive car you've ever had the opportunity to sit in. The leather is soft against your skin, and it smells of fresh citrus. Even his car smells good.

"So, Where to darling?" He asks, running his eyes all over you. You feel a little self conscious under his gaze but manage to utter your address nonetheless.

The entire ride is mostly silent with little conversation that he makes, asking you for directions. It isn't awkward, and you're so grateful for that.

"Is this it?" He asks, stopping his car in front of the building whose name you blurted instead of your real address.

You nod and thank him, ready to get out of the car when he grabs your wrist, pulling you into him. The middle console digs into your stomach but you honestly couldn't care less with the way his hot breath falls on your face.

Your cheeks are warm and you are sure that you represent a tomato with the way the heat only increases when he tucks your hairs behind your ear with his other hand.

And oh god, he's leaning in, his eyes fixed onto your lips as he inches closer and closer and-

As if on autopilot, You push him away. Your cheeks burn in embarrassment at how taken aback he looks by your sudden reaction.

"I-im sorry i- i don't-

"I thought you liked me" He says in a hostile tone, and you can hear the annoyance in his voice, can see the indignation in his eyes.

You can't believe you just pissed off your longtime crush because of your inability to be normal. How could you have fucked up so badly?

"I-i do, I do like you" You mumble quickly, trying to hold your tears at bay when he scoffs at your words. The shame weighs heavy on your chest as he stares at you a bit longer before looking forward towards the road.

"Goodnight y/n" He replies sharply, in the most coldest voice you have ever seen him use towards you.

Your lips quiver as you wrack your brain for something to say but you don't think you can say anything to fix this now. You've made a fool of yourself and embarrassed Jay all because you can't be fucking normal about anything.

He presses the horn aggressively, and you jump, mumbling apologies and scurrying out of his car hurriedly. Your ears burn in humiliation when he drives off without sparing a single glance towards you.

Well done y/n. Your habit of being self sabotaging never really will go away. You cry all the way back to your house, not understanding the abrupt downturn of promising events. It was going so well. He was going to kiss you. You were so close to having your first kiss.

You wipe your tears dry when you get close to your house. Jihoon is fast asleep in Suzy's arms when she hands him over to you. You thank her for her kindness and make your way to your house, cradling jihoon's sleeping form. When he cuddles into your neck, his innocent embrace evokes a flood of pent up tears; all that you've been pushing back today, comes flooding out. You can't help but wonder if you'll ever be able to sleep this carefree in someone's arms. If there's love meant for you,then you have never felt it once in your life, and you wonder if it's too late now.

You're crying when you tuck him tenderly into bed, crying when you leave a wet kiss on his forehead, caressing his soft cheeks. You're crying when you try to eat the food Suzy gave you in the afternoon, and you're crying when you rub off all the evidence of today from your body inside the shower. At one point, you aren’t even sure what you’re crying about.

Thankfully, when you come out of the shower, the tears have ceased. You embrace the numbness which spreads all over your body after a soul crushing sob session. It’s funny really, how quickly you seem to turn your emotions on and off like a flip switch, like they aren’t even real at all.

Once your emotions are out of the way, and jihoon is asleep, you can't help but relish in the feeling of your skin under your fingertips. You aren't particularly horny, you just want to feel better and sleep with an empty mind. Masturbation always seems to work.

You throw off your towel and crawl onto the bed, spreading your legs and rubbing small circles on your clit, trying to get yourself wet. You rub and rub, and whine when it starts to feel somewhat good. Still, it isn't good enough to get you soaked thoroughly, so that you can cum again and again to your heart's content.

You groan frustratedly and reach for your phone, feeling extremely ashamed when your finger hovers over heeseung's chats. Your pussy tingles in excitement when you read his lewd words, attached to the video he sent you yesterday.

"Gonna fuck you so good if you give me a chance baby, look how hard you make this dick"

You bite your lower lip and press play, rubbing your thighs together at the wet sounds coming from the video. His dick is so thick and girthy, curving upwards in excitement. His fingers look so long wrapped around his cock, you can’t help but squeeze your thighs at the thought of feeling them inside of you.

The way he moves his palm, up and down, up and down, moaning and groaning your name in pleasure, it has you writhing in no time. You will never admit it to heeseung, but he's the only person you ever think of while touching yourself. He turns you on beyond belief. He turns you on in a way that feels wrong. Almost Taboo.

You continue to rub your clit to the sight of him jerking off, hoping that you could see his face in the video too. You wonder what he looks like when he's feeling good. The thought alone is enough to have you dripping in no time. You throw your phone onto the bed, but before you can start fingering your leaking pussy, your phone rings, making you groan in annoyance.

You reach beside your head to pick it up and almost drop it on your face when you see heeseung's name flashing on your screen.

Fuck. What the fuck.

When he told you in college that he was gonna call, you really didn't think he actually will. But the phone is ringing and your body lights up in excitement. Is he really going to jerk off on call? Is he really that perverse?

Curiosity gets the better of you, and you swipe right, chewing on your lower lip as you press the phone against your ear.

"Hey baby, I didn't think you would pick up, missed me didn't ya? " His cocky voice blares through the speaker and you blush. How was he making you blush over the phone, get a fucking grip y/n.

He chuckles when you don't say anything, finding your silence cute.

"At least say a hi for me baby, so I can know that I'm not about to jerk off for your dad" His words make you wince, why was he so vulgar?

"Heeseung!" You whisper shout, trying to convey through your voice how scandalized you are.

"There she is, fuck pretty, you're gonna stay with me on call while I beat my meat for you yeah?" He grunts and you gasp, feeling violated by his language alone.

You rub your thighs and fiddle with your pebbled nipples "c-can you not use such words? " you ask quietly, hoping that he doesn't pick up on the silent whine that leaves your mouth right after.

You hear a little shuffling on the line and your face feels hot. So he really is getting ready to jerk off? What will he say if you tell him how wet you are for him right now?

Heeseung can't believe you haven't hung up on him yet. His dick getting harder and harder the more that he hears your cute fucking voice.

"Nah baby, I'm a nasty motherfucker, you should know that. If you ever let me fuck your cunt, I'll show you what real nasty sex feels like" He says, groaning when he hears you whimper at his words. Fuck. Why the fuck are you so fucking cute.

He hisses when he wraps his rough palm around his leaking prick, he hasn't even started jerking off yet and he's already leaking so much precum.

Heeseung doesn't like cute things, but fuck does he want to fuck into one, wants to pound your cute little pussy while you make those cute little sounds for him.

His ears perk up when he hears the wet squelching sounds coming through the speaker. Fuck. Fuck are you--?

"baby, are you touching yourself? I can hear your wet little cunt through the phone" He grunts, as if in pain.

The moan that you let out tells him all that he needs to know. And damn he's never been so fucking hard before.

"fuck yeah baby, fuck yourself with your tiny little fingers, make yourself feel real good for me" He groans, stroking his cock at a rapid pace, unable to stop himself from going feral. This is the first time that you have given him the taste of what it really could be like if he was buried in your wet snatch. It's driving him batshit crazy.

"H-heeseung" you mewl, making him fuck into his fist faster. God, you sound so sexy. The heat spreads all over his body, making him feel so damn good that he starts bucking up his hips into his hands.

"Y-yeah? Feels so good yeah , baby? Fuck, I wish It was my cock buried in you right now, I would pound you all fucking night -ugh fuckk" he grunts, panting as he feels the knot in his stomach tighten. He wants to cum so bad.

Your whines reach a fever pitch and the intensity of the wet squelch increases. God, the filthy sounds of your wetness as you play with your pussy, make his tongue loll out of his mouth. He needs to bury his face in your juices before he dies.

"g-gonna c-um im-ah" you moan, whining and panting as your orgasm gets closer.

Heeseung curses under his breath and jerks off furiously, squeezing his engorged dick head and hissing in pure pleasure.

"Oh yeah, cum all over my fucking cock baby, make a fucking mess, I'm gonna give you my cum too" He moans, thrusting up into his fist, again and again and again, chasing his high desperately. His palm is a wet, sticky mess of precum while he strokes his shaft to your whiny voice. You make him so fucking horny, the brutal way he's fisting his dick is a testament to that.

A loud moan on your end makes him cuss, his own eyes rolling back as he hears you cumming. So fucking cute, god you sound heavenly. His hips buck up into his fist a few more times before he's spurting thick strings of his cum all over his chest and palm. He plants his feet onto the bed, and thrusts up into his fist over and over to drain himself of all that he has to give.

Fucking hell, that was probably the best jerk off session of his life. Before he can tell you that, however, you hang up on him.

Heeseung chuckles in exhaustion and doesn't even bother cleaning his body, laying on the bed in pure sexual satiation.

You're so cute.

The events of yesterday hit you hard in the morning. Your eyes are swollen and red because of the crying session you had after masturbation. When the high of the orgasm wore off, everything else came back and it hurt like a bitch.

You can't believe you let heeseung talk you through your orgasm, you can't believe that he made you cum without touching you, and what you can't believe the most is how much you liked it.

Your mind drifts off to Jay, and a sudden shame fills you up again. No matter how hard you try, you're unable to forget the look of disappointment on his face, looking at you with so much annoyance etched onto the creases of his face, it almost reminded you of your mother.

Your gaze goes to the clock and you can't help but heave yourself out of the bed. As much as you'd like to stay and rot in extreme self pity, you don't have the option. Jihoon will be up soon, and you have a limited one hour stretch to make his lunch and get ready for college. You're not ready for the walk of shame to college, but being an academic weapon is your only achievement in life. You wonder what you would be if they take that away from you. Have you ever done anything else? Gone out, made friends? Got drunk at parties, had sleepovers? You haven't, you realize with a throbbing pain at the back of your head. It never was an option for you.

You take a shower and fix a quick breakfast for your brother and yourself, getting ready in your prim and proper attire, reverting back to your put together front.

Waking up jihoon is a work of lost art that you've mastered over the years, and so it's easy work. What isn't easy, however, is to convince him to let you go.

"Why can't you stayy" He whines, tears already filling up his big, brown eyes as he clings to your leg like always.

You kneel down to come face to face with him and quickly wipe his tears away "I'm going to bring back chocolates, you like them right?" you ask, cooing when he nods, his brows still furrowed in defiance.

"Then someone will have to go and bring them right? so be a good boy and let y/n go"

His little brows furrow further and he shakes his head again "suzy can go" He declares, and you can't help but be endeared. All the time that you stay away from him, you'd started to believe that he'll develop more of an attachment with suzy and eventually forget you. But these little things, these are the things that keep you going.

You plant a big kiss on his puffy cheeks and he's back to grinning in no time, giggling as you tackle him in your arms.

"Just a few more hours baby, I'll be back and we'll play together, I promise" you assure the little boy and his eyes shine at your words, "swings! at the park!" He exclaims, as if remembering the most important treasure of his life. You nuzzle his nose with your own and intertwine your pinky with his tiny one in a promise. It's so easy to make him happy, your perfect little baby.

You pepper jihoon with a few more kisses before dropping him off at Suzy's.

Your heart tugs when he starts to cry for you again, but this is your life, you suppose.

You keep your head down the entire way to class, lest you run into Jay and embarrass yourself again. Luckily for you, Jay isn't in his designated seat in the automata class, and you can’t help but breath a sigh of relief.

The relief is tremendously short lived tho, because Lee Heeseung is sprawled on the seat right next to yours in his full glory.

Your cheeks turn red when your eyes meet his cocky ones. He smirks and raises a suggestive brow when you don't make a move to come any closer.

"Do you plan to stand for the entirety of this two hour lecture baby?" He asks, suckling on the pop sickle that he always seems to have somehow. You quickly scan the seats around you, deciding fuck it, and plop onto jay's seat instead. There's no way you will be able to spend two whole hours under Heeseung's lecherous gaze. After last night, you have no idea how to face him. Even on normal days he leaves you extremely flustered and a clumsy mess.

You can feel his gaze burning holes at the back of your head for the entire duration of the lecture. Sometime in the middle of the lesson, a crumpled paper hits the back of your head. You turn around, shooting heeseung an annoyed look. At least you try to look annoyed. The blush is still prominent on your cheekbones so you can only imagine what you look like to him.

He motions his head towards the ball of paper lying near your feet. As much as you want to ignore his shenanigans and focus on the lecture, curiosity always gets the best of you.

You unfold it quickly, tucking it inside your book so that nobody else can catch the words scribbled on it.

"Wait for me in the janitor's closet"

You shoot a defying look towards heeseung and crumple the paper back to land it near his jordans. It's equivalent to you saying "I won't"

Heeseung only grins at you, shooting a wink in your direction, as if to reply

"I know you will"

He has some audacity, you think, as you make your way to the janitor's closet after class. A slave to your desires, you suppose.

A part of you is nervous and ashamed when his 6 feet tall figure enters the limited space of the closet, caging you against the wall. However, the other part of you, the desperate part of you , preens in the attention, almost feeling a sick pride in the fact that you made him cum too. And maybe even harder, if the way he was moaning last night was anything to go by.

His large hands circle your waist , and your breath hitches in your throat when he pulls you closer to himself, his nose touching yours while his hot breaths warm your mouth.

"have sex with me" He says, leaving you speechless, yet again. It's not that he hasn't said those exact same words and even worse things to you before. It's the bluntness that never fails to take you by surprise.

You shake your head, trying to push yourself out of his grasp. He's stubborn tho, and so damn strong, his hold like an iron grip around your body.

"Cmon- he groans in frustration- you can have sex with me on the phone but not in person, how is that fucking fair? "

You whimper when he squeezes the fat of your waist harshly, as if branding your body in his hold. You aren't used to being touched so wantonly, and it makes a sick shiver run down the length of your spine.

"W-we did not have s-sex" you splutter, staring right back into his orbs. His heavy lidded eyes travel down to your lips and he leans in, making you gasp loudly when his pink tongue comes out to taste your lower lip, licking it tentatively. Almost experimental in how he runs it all over your lower plump lip. He pulls away before he can steal your first kiss, and you'd be lying if you said you didn't feel somewhat disappointed.

"Yes we did have sex. Your tight little pussy came for my fucking cock while you were moaning my name" He supplies cockily, his words sending a wave of heat rushing down between your legs.

He buries his nose in the crook of your neck and presses his body flush into yours, grinding the proof of his desire against your leg.

"Look what you do to me, fuck baby, if you won't let me fuck your cunt, at least take responsibility for your own actions" He grunts into your skin and you can't help the pathetic moan that leaves your mouth.

"H-how" you ask, feeling yourself getting wetter the more that he humps your leg.

Heeseung doesn't reply to you, instead, takes your hand that's clutching his shoulder and presses it against his hard on instead.

"fuck yeahhh" He hisses, apparently craving your touch like a drug.

you're sure your face can't get any redder than this. If it wasn't for his tight hold on your body, your knees would have buckled and given up a while ago. The feeling of a dick underneath your palm is foreign but so arousing, the fact that you did this to him. He’s hard for You.

"Come on baby, squeeze it like you mean it, make me feel fucking good" He hisses, groaning into your neck when you squeeze him softly. The hardness in his jeans seems to get thicker and thicker, it fascinates you.

He ruts his hips into your palm, desperately,trying to chase the delicious friction while he pants into your soft flesh.

"Fuck, it's not enough" He curses, pulling back from you to unbuckle himself.

You bite into your lower lip in arousal and squeeze your thighs to alleviate some of the pressure you feel between your legs.

He looks up into your eyes, licking on his lips as he plays with the band of his boxer briefs. He watches in amusement, the way that your eyes can't seem to focus on one single thing, jumping from here to there, so nervous,so pretty and . God, you're cute.

He takes your hand in his own again and slips it inside his boxers, covering your palm with his own while he uses your soft hand to jerk himself off.

The hot and heavy feel of his leaking length has you whining. That only makes him chuckle and groan. "Mhmmn baby that feels so good"

The wet and messy way in which he uses your palm to stroke his length up and down, it's addicting, your palm feels soft and his whole body shivers when he sees how desperately you're squirming, your eyes wide and glossy. He wants to fucking ruin you.

He presses his body further into yours, taking your earlobe into his mouth, small whimpers falling from his mouth while his movements get faster. Your palm is slick with his precum, it should gross you out but everything is so hot and heavy in the small space.

"Are you wet? Just from feeling my dick? Desperate little thing aren't you? " He muses. You shake your head meekly, averting your gaze from his sweaty face and looking down to observe the rapid movements of your combined hands inside his boxers.

"M'not wet" you mewl, eliciting a mocking laugh from the boy. He trails his kisses down the tempting length of your neck, the touch so sensual, it leaves you gasping.

"I can feel your pretty little body squirming against me you know, makes me wanna force my dick inside you, where will you run if I do? " he asks, biting your collarbone when the slide of his dick gets wetter and squelchier.

His words, instead of scaring you, make an inexplicable heat to ignite your insides. You want him to, you can't believe how bad you want him to act on his desires because you know you don't have the courage to act on your own.

"f-fuck, pretty, moan for me baby, wanna hear you when I cum" He sighs into your neck, nipping at your skin and planting kisses in between his moans.

Hearing his words make you keen and he curses under his breath. The hold of his palm is brutal, your hand hurts but God does it feel good to hear him so desperate and needy, whining so hotly in your ear.

"fuck I'm so close so -ugh god-" His voice fades into a delicious moan and you can feel yourself dripping, your juices running down the length your thighs.

You don't hold back on your sounds, letting small whimpers leave your mouth when he digs his teeth into your skin again.

"Why won't you let me fuck you baby, wanna be the first to get inside your virgin little pussy so bad" He pants, supporting himself with a hand planted beside your head on the wall while he continues to masturbate using your flesh.

It's exhilarating, it's hot, and it's so scandalous.

"H-heeseung! " You moan when he lathers the skin of your neck with his saliva, tasting your skin like his life depends on it.

"Sh-shit" He stutters, the lewd way you cry out his name make his eyes roll back to the back of his head. You gasp when you feel his hot length twitching repeatedly, warm, thick liquid covering your entire palm along with his own.

His hips stutter a few more times inside your hold before stilling, a large sigh of satisfaction leaving his lips.

"Fucking hell baby, you always make me cum so hard" He whispers, chuckling to himself.

He pulls your hand out of his boxers and wipes his hand off on his jeans, while you watch in silence with face turning crimson. He dresses himself and winks at you before walking out of the closet, leaving you standing there with your palm covered in his sticky, gooey cum.

You feel used, but at least you’re useful for something.

To say that you are sick of yourself would be an understatement. You feel violated, but some sick part of you enjoys being desired so wantonly. It turns you on. Heeseung doesn't love you, scratch that, he doesn't even like you but here you are, letting him use your body like some mindless sex toy anytime he damn well pleases. You wonder what that says about you. Sure, he's a jerk, but what are you?

You're lost in thoughts, walking home when a loud honk makes you jump on the sidewalk. You turn towards the car honking at you and come to a halt, facing the very familiar Volkswagen.

There’s no way.

"Come on sweetheart, get inside" Jay grins at you from the inside of his car. You blink at a him a couple of time to really make sure that he's here. After the complete fiasco last night, you really weren't expecting to hear from him so fast. Or at all for that matter.

Nonetheless, he is here, and he's asking you to get inside his car. With your eyes downcast, you crawl towards it and slip inside the passenger seat, playing with your fingers while you avoid looking at him at all costs. He doesn't start the car, but you can feel the weight of his gaze on the side of your face.

"I'm sorry about last night" He begins, and you can't help but look up at him astonished. Why was he sorry? You were the one who royally fucked up.

He smiles at you apologetically and reaches out a hand to caresses your cheek by the back of it. If you weren't mentally screaming, you're sure you would have said something, and assured him that he has nothing to be sorry about.

"I just, I shouldn't have tried to kiss you so fast, at least not without taking you on a date first. it's just that we've been friends for so long, and we both like each other, so it just seemed like the right thing to do" He explains, remorse dripping from his tone. You start to node your head in support of his sentiments when his words click inside your brain.

Wait.

"Y-you like me?" You blurt, cheeks flaming when his gaze falls to your mouth and he traces your bottom lip with his thumb.

"So much that i forgot how to behave" He mutters in a trance, all his attention focused on fiddling with your plump and fleshy lower lip.

You blush at his words and avert your gaze back down to your lap, and he pulls his hand back. You want to whine at the loss of contact, enjoying too much being caressed so softly. When was the last time you were touched so gently?

"Before I try to kiss you again, because I will, you're too pretty to resist- he chuckles, and you try to bite back the smile that's threatening to break free on your face- would you like to go on an aquarium date with me? A little birdy told me that is your dream date" He grins at you, wiggling his eyebrows when you look into his kind eyes, and you let your giggles take over your body. The fact that he remembers your random rant from months ago shoots a giddy feeling through your heart. It feels good being remembered.

"How about tomorrow? Skip college and let me take you out? " He suggests and you nod rapidly, almost detaching your neck from its socket. Jay only laughs at you endearingly, and it makes you blush even more.

He drops you off at the same building as last night again, and both of you are grinning from ear to ear when he drives off. You're sure you catch a few stray looks from the passerbys when they see you beaming and giggling like an idiot as you walk back home with an obvious skip in your step. It’s ridiculous, really, but it feels good to have something to look forward to in a very long time.

You sigh loudly when you remember the promise you made to jihoon this morning. You're mentally calculating the time you have prior to when you need to be at the cafe, when Suzy's door opens before you can even knock on it, and out comes your little brother, bounding, and giggling in a high pitched scream.

You squat down to catch him in your arms before he can collide with your legs.

"Looks like someone missed me" You giggle, hugging the little life close to your body, sighing upon inhaling the familiar scent of his baby powder.

"Missed yew" He mumbles into your throat, his little hands wrapped around your neck, and you can’t help but coo at him in adoration. "Missed you too my baby, y/n loves you so much"

"He has been so excited the entire day, he wouldn't even eat until I told him you'll be mad if he didn't" Suzy tells you, coming out of her house with jihoon's water bottle in her hand. You laugh at her words, and pick your brother up in your arms while he continues to nuzzle into you.

"I'll take him to the park for a bit, I have about an hour before my shift starts" You inform her and she nods at you, running her experienced warm eyes over your face.

"You look happy darling" She notes and you can't help the blush that dusts your cheeks at her words. She apparently notices , cooing at how shy you are all of a sudden.

"is it a boy y/n, yes or no?" She asks, a teasing lilt in her voice and you bite your lower lip, nodding in a giddy manner.

"It is, I have a date tomorrow" you admit, unable to conceal the excitement in your voice. She gasps and pats your head "what a fortunate man he'll be to have someone as amazing as you darling" She whispers, pure emotion shining in her eyes.

You swallow the lump forming in your throat at her words, averting your gaze and mumbling a small thank you. No, you refuse to cry today, you had your fill of indulging in your emotions yesterday.

So, you push her words to the recess of your mind, where you securely encase them in a metaphorical box, stacking it up on a bunch of age old boxes. Emotions that you adamantly refused to confront and deal with, a stance that you still maintain.

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As you sit staring at your wardrobe, a sense of urgency washes over you and you come to two stark realizations.

Firstly, you need to buy more clothes. The sparse collection of garments hanging before you testified to this necessity.

Secondly, and perhaps more pressing, was the acute awareness that none of what you have is remotely suitable for a date.

Jay is supposed to pick you up in a mere hour and you don't have anything to wear. Well, there's a blue halter neck dress that you wore for freshmen party in your first year, which you're sure doesn't fit you now. There's 3 silk pressed shirts which you alternate at your college, a handful of skirts and a scattering of sweaters.

And that's it.

You're about to cry when you feel a wave of panic rising within you. You’re o utterly unprepared for this moment.

As the crushing clarity threatens to overwhelm you, a pang of longing sweeps through you. You wish you had a girlfriend. It's not like you don't have friends, you talk to several people in school, be it for work or just casual chatting , but that's about it. Your relations with other people end as soon as you step out of your university building. Of course, you know that it's your own fault that you don't have anyone in your life, you never really put in the effort to keep up with someone, a casualty of your own reluctance to invest in deeper connections.

Whenever someone tries to delve deeper into your life, you just push back, and you push back hard. You are too consumed with your own life, you suppose. It's not that you have never had any friends either, you have had quite a lot, in fact, you even had a best friend in middle school. Time really changed you as a person though, its not to say that she didn't change either, time changes everyone, but your change had been tangible. You just let everyone go, choosing to stay in your own miserable bubble, blocking all attempts of reaching out or any support that you so desperately needed. Each flicker of friendship extinguished, each bond severed, bore the weight of your own self imposed isolation. You did this to yourself, you weren't a victim of circumstances no matter how much self pity you reserve for yourself. You were the architect of your own solitude, barricading yourself within the confines of your melancholic safety. You tell yourself that it’s better this way, that you don’t need anyone, but how long can you fool yourself?

The halter dress is the only option left for you it seems.

The dress is not tight, but anyone looking at it can tell that it's not made to fit your body either. It's not revealing, but you can't call it modest either, at least by your standards, you don't think you've ever shown so much skin before. The blue one piece ends smack in the middle of your thighs, your chest is covered for the most part, and the long sleeves cover up your arms. If it's not for the unfamiliar sight of your bare legs, everything looks quite normal, you don't look hideous so that's a relief.

You opt for leaving your hairs open, because last time you did that, Jay tried to kiss you.

You wait for Jay at the entrance of your false residence. If he finds it odd that you're already outside, he doesn't comment on it, and you're grateful for that.

"Wow" Jay says as soon as you enter his car “ you look so hot”, making your ears turn bright red.

"T-thank you" you mumble, trying not to be bothered by how blatantly he is ogling at your exposed thighs, or how his eyes linger due to your dress riding upwards when you sit down.

You both make casual conversation during the drive, and it's comfortable, the casual back and forth just like old friends. You can get used to this, you tell yourself.

The aquarium that he takes you to is bigger than your entire university building, so pretty and so enchanting, you almost lose track of time. Ever since you were little, you have dreamed of visiting one, you remember writing the same in one of your introductory papers in second semester, a paper that was discussed in class as well. How jay managed to remember that is beyond you tho. Throughout the date, he keeps you updated on every thing that you come across, and it feels good to have his attention completely focused on you. You almost combust when he takes you to a restaurant after the aquarium date, thoroughly flabbergasted because you've never been on a date before.

The experience is something you will never forget, your first date, the thought makes you feel ecstatic, the wide smile on your face which refuses to go away is a testament to that.

Turns out, your first kiss happens in the same night as well. As soon as Jay parks his car outside your trademark building, he's all over you. He doesn't ask you, he just leans over to you and smashes his lips against yours, tasting your hot mouth eagerly. You don't know what you're doing, your hands are placed awkwardly over his chest while you try to move your lips against his, mimicking his movements to the best of your ability. He doesn't seem bothered by your lack of skills tho, just diving into your mouth with his tongue, one hand cupping your face while with the other, he gropes your thighs.

You push back your discomfort and revel in the feeling of his touch, gasping when he bites into your lower lip. He tastes like the wine you drank at the restaurant and you wonder if you taste the same to him.

The kiss ends too soon for your liking, but, the feeling of his dark eyes and rough hands running all over the length of your body shamelessly, follows you back home.

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You ignore heeseung's calls for the next few days, almost contemplating blocking his number once and for all, but for some reason, you can’t bring yourself to do it.

Your dates with Jay continue, and you do manage to buy yourself a new dress. You’re doing well for your first relationship, if you can even call it that.

Even though Jay does seem to love kissing you, never in a million did you ever think that you'd find yourself in such a compromising position. However, here you are, sitting on Jay's lap in the middle of class while he eats your face. Yes, he's actually devouring your mouth, tongue buried so deep into your throat that the feeling has you arching your body into him.

What makes the experience more thrilling is the audience you have. Your classmates had collectively gasped when Jay pulled you onto his lap seemingly out of nowhere. But, it isn't them that you are worried about. It's the boy at the back of the class with a perfect scowl etched onto his handsome face as he watches you make out with someone that's not him.

Heeseung looks livid and you wonder why. Is he upset because he thinks you aren't a virgin anymore?

Jay lets you go with a smirk when the professor announces his presence, and you rush to your seat that's right in front of the scowling boy, in a daze. It's actually amazing how he ignores you the entire lecture, something that has never happened before. what's more unsettling is the fact that you are mildly disappointed by that.

You want to ask him what he's upset about, but you aren't able to gather the courage to. As much as heeseung's a constant itch at the back of your head, you remind yourself that you're dating Jay now, so you can't be thinking about other men.

You're dating Jay now. You're dating Jay. You're dating.

None of those sentences sound real to you.

However, the giddy feeling inside your chest dwindles as Jay gets more and more touchy throughout the entire day. You can't tell if it's normal to grope your chest just a few days after you had your first kiss, but you don't want to make him upset again. You don’t like seeing him angry. Besides, isn't this what you always wanted? Someone to want you, someone to love you?

And haven't you let Heeseung do worse things to you anyway? Why haven't you ever felt such discomfort when Heeseung used your body to get himself off? . But the truth is, has Heeseung ever touched you this way? Sure he sends you inappropriate messages that are borderline harassment, sure he used your hand to jerk himself off once, sure he wants your virginity and he has made his intentions clear, but has he ever ventured beneath your clothes before?

He has never groped your body before, not like Jay is doing. Now that you think about it, heeseung has never even kissed you before. Your mind makes countless comparisons between Heeseung and Jay, and you wonder why you do that to yourself. Were you really comparing the guy whose whole purpose of pursuing you was to pop your cherry and wear it like a symbol of achievement, to the boy that likes you and took you to your dream date?

A gasp leaves your throat when jay grabs your ass, smacking it and making you yelp between harsh kisses. You're glad you're in his car and not outside, glad that people aren't there to witness you being touched like this.

"You're so pretty" He whispers in your ear, and so you latch onto his words and overlook his actions.

Now that you have someone who likes you back, do you really want to push him away? Do you want to let your useless self doubt and trust issues stop you from living your life yet again? No.

Thus, you push your discomfort to the back of your mind when his hand travels under your skirt at one point.

"It's normal y/n, don't make a fool of yourself" you chant in your head, trying to enjoy the feeling of being wanted.

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“We never really talk.... There's so much we still don't know about each other" your voice is meek, feeling hesitant to say your thoughts out loud in case you end up upsetting jay; which you seem to be doing a lot, to be honest.

The said boy groans from the seat in front of you where he's busy on his phone, completely facing away from you.

"We know plenty" He quips, not even sparing you a glance, and you bite your lower lip to stop yourself from thinking too much about it. Maybe he just isn't in the mood today? But again, when is he ever in a mood?

All you do is make out, and when things get heated, you always pull away. Then he gets agitated, and doesn't talk to you for days. It fucks with your head, but you go along, and even though you don't feel comfortable, you start letting him touch you more, and even though your body is taut with tension, he never seems to care.

You want to tell him about your brother, want to share the little things you do together and the things that make you happy. You want to ask what his favorite color is.

However, the opportunity never seems to come.

Your mind drifts off to heeseung, and the little notes he used to throw at the back of your head during last semester.

"Do you like roses or lilies?"

"Do you sleep on your stomach or side? "

"Are you going to the town fair?"

You remember ignoring him back then, but now your heart constricts. Even if he was just trying to bother you, those questions were probably the only time someone had tried to get to know you. You don't know what it is about heeseung, but everybody just looks at you, he's the only one who has ever made you feel seen. Maybe in another universe you would push aside your shyness and answer those notes. Maybe in another universe you would throw some notes back at him, asking things that you wanna know.

"I like tulips... But lilies are good too"

"I sleep on my back, sleeping in any other position makes me sore, I don't know why tho"

"I'm not going to the town fair, I have to stay home with my brother, he's really small"

But it's too late now, and you swallow down your words, squash the need to talk to someone, and resort to the heavy silence that is your life.

Heeseung is about to fly off the handle. The sight of you in another man's arms shouldn't bother him this much and yet, it does. The fact that you're ignoring his calls and messages makes him feel slightly insane. It shouldn't be like this. You are just a bet. A pick. Just another name on the list.

Then why the fuck is he this close to smashing jay's annoying face in. It isn't even about your virginity anymore, and that's what bothers him the most.

He hates it, hates that he's so affected by you, but he should have seen it coming,to be honest. With the way he stays up late just to jerk off to your pretty face, no girl has ever drove him this close to insanity before. The lust he feels for you is blinding and all consuming. It burns him, the desire he feels for you scorches him from the inside. It unsettles him how badly you’ve managed to turn him into a slave to your big, doe eyes.

Therefore, when he catches you alone in the classroom after three whole weeks of you ignoring his presence, he just can't help himself. It’s unfair how fucking pretty you look standing near the white board, scribbling something down onto your notebook while trying to setup the projector for your presentation later.

The sound of the classroom door being shut makes you jump, but the reason makes cold dread run inside your chest. Heeseung looks like a predator as he advances on your figure, eyes dark in lust and the vein in his neck throbbing with anger. His hands itch with the desire to touch you, it's been way too long for his liking since he last felt you close.

Before you can say anything or do anything, he's on you. The feeling of his lips against yours is electrifying,it feels like your entire body comes alive at the contact. His kiss is surprisingly slow and more bruising than you've ever been kissed before. His hands wrap around your waist and he pulls you closer to himself, tilting his head to trace your lower lip with his tongue, waiting for you to let him in.

You should push him away but you don't. You can't. Your head is dizzy with a passion you've only ever felt with him, your arms wrapping around his neck as you push yourself closer to his firm body, opening your mouth and letting him tangle his tongue with yours. The moan that leaves your mouth at the feeling makes his slacks tighten, his dick hard and throbbing inside his trousers.

You taste so fucking addicting, Heeseung doesn't wanna stop kissing and tasting your warm mouth.

When he pulls away to breathe, you're both panting heavily, his forehead resting against yours, dark eyes staring into your soul.

"I don't like when someone ignores me y/n" He growls, his voice sharp and hoarse from desire. The feeling of his hard on digging into your stomach makes you squirm.

"I - I have a boyfriend, I shouldn't be talking to you" You manage to let out, biting back another moan when he grinds a bit into you.

Heeseung feels hot rage flash across his chest at your words.

"Oh yeah? He got his dick inside you yet?" He asks, his words making you blanch. How was he always so vulgar?

"That's, that's none of your business" You splutter, looking anywhere but his eyes.

His hold tightens around your waist and he continues to grind his hard on against your soft flesh.

"I'll take that as a no, fuck, still a virgin aren't you baby?" he guesses.

You avoid looking at him and it only spurs him on further, his hold tightens around your body the more that you try to maintain some space.

"What a loser, if I was him, I would have buried myself into that tight little cunt of yours on the first night of our date" He whispers, and for some reason, his words excite you instead of disgusting you. A sick tingle runs down your spine and throbs between your legs.

"H-he's not like you" You quip, looking up into his eyes to get your point across "he doesn't want me for my body, he loves me for me"

Your words seem to make him angry, if the slight clench of his jaw is anything to go by.

He stops moving against you and scoffs.

"Loves you? What do you know about being loved y/n? "

His tone is mocking, and eyes full of unfiltered rage, the words spoken with an intention to hurt. And hurt, they do. You wonder how he knows the exact place to strike to make pain ricochet so wildly inside your ribs.

What do you know about being loved? Nothing, you suppose. How do you recognize love if you have never seen it before? or do you just accept everything that comes to you as love because you don't have any option to? do you just cling onto every act of kindness because of how much you want it to be love?

What do you know about being loved indeed.

Seeing your face fall makes heeseung regret his words almost instantly, the sight of your big eyes blinking up at him so solemnly makes his heart twist uncomfortably. What the fuck?

Before he can apologize, however, your small hands slide down to push against his chest, and he lets you go. He doesn't stop you when you collect your assignment that you'd been working on when he barged in, your gaze downcast and shoulders slumped as if heavy from the weight of his words.

The urge to pull you into his arms hits him as he watches you leave, but he's too much of a coward for that.

Because no matter how much he wants himself to believe it,

You aren't just a name on the list, you never have been.

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The atmosphere feels different today. You took a day off from college just to spend time with Jay, and although it makes you feel guilty that you left jihoon with suzy for the entire day, you can't help but be selfish for once.

All of this feels like a fever dream and you want to enjoy it before your alarm rings and you’re thrust back into the harsh reality once again.

Jay took you back to the aquarium, then you both went to the beach that his dad owned, and you were having so much fun that you just couldn't say no when he asked you to stay the night at his place. "No funny business" He assured.

But that didn't last long.

You whined into his mouth as his rough palms travelled beneath your silky sundress, sundress that he bought for you. "The yellow really suits your skin, wanna kiss you stupid" He had said, leaving you a flustered mess.

"I'm gonna take this off baby" Jay whispers into your mouth, sitting back up and sliding your dress up your legs without waiting for your answer.

You squirm in anxiety and embarrassment when he exposes your panties to his curious eyes. You want to cover yourself, you want to hide, but his firm hold on your waist keeps you down and under his mercy.

He slides your dress further up your stomach and then it happens. Your worst nightmare comes true. His eye brows furrow and you watch in dread as his entire face shuts down.

"Let's turn the lights off" He says, and you don't know what's worse, the way he eyes your body in distaste , or the way he pulls your dress down to cover you up.

"Why? " You manage to ask, swallowing the lump forming in your throat. You know why, you just want to hear it. You want to hear him say it so that your illusion can shatter once and for all.

Jay looks away and sighs, his jaw ticking in frustration "because that's how I like to have sex" He replies, his tone smooth, but you are anything but stupid.

You sit up and bite on your wobbly lower lip, smoothing down your dress on your thighs with shaky hands.

"You don’t like what you saw" You whisper, barely audible, but he hears you alright. His nostrils flare as he finally turns to face you, looking angry and terrifying.

"Do you have to be so damn difficult all the fucking time you stupid bitch? I'm trying not to be mean but you wanna hear how much your body's turning me off to your face? " He grits, hands coming down to grab your thighs and spreading your legs open. A sob escapes your lips at his words and you hit his chest to push him away

"I w-want to go home" You cry, sobbing more when he grunts in anger and slaps your face, pinning you down by your throat while he pushes you down onto your back, and straddles your thighs.

"Wasted so much of my fucking time on you, and now you want to go home? Right when I'm this close to being the first one who's gonna scratch your name off the list? "

Your heart stops at the implication of his words, pure disgust and terror runs through your veins.Your eyes fill up with more tears and you start using your full body strength, squirming and flailing, somehow managing to hit him in the shins with your knee. He howls in pain and rolls off of you , cussing you out.

"Fucking bitch" He growls, but you don't stay or look back, grabbing your phone and running as fast as you can. You hear his footsteps chasing you, but the adrenaline pushes you forward even though your vision is blurry with how much you're crying.

How you managed to open his house's main gate is beyond you, but once you are out in the open, the night air hitting your wet cheeks, that's when you come to a halt. You don't know how far or how long you ran, you don't see any people around, just luxurious houses standing tall, and it makes you sob more. You don't see Jay chasing you down the road so that calms your heart a little, but soon, the gravity of your situation sinks in. You almost got raped.

The thought makes your knees wobble and you unceremoniously collapse onto the sidewalk, your back resting against a cold metal pole. Your hands shake and sobs wrack your entire body, feeling intense pain coursing through your bones.

You were jay's pick too. How could you have been so blind to the signs? Him approaching you out of the blue, just a few weeks after the list got released . if you weren't blinded by your stupid feelings, you would have seen it as clear as day. He wanted your virginity. Just like Heeseung.

He didn't like you as you had deluded yourself into thinking.

The disgust on his face when he saw the stretch marks littering the lining of your stomach, it was so palpable it made you flinch.

Was he going to fuck you just for the sake of winning the game? Is your virginity really all that? But who are you kidding, all this time, you have held onto your virginity so desperately because you know that it's the only thing that makes you desirable, doesn't it? It's the only reason Heeseung wants you, it's the only reason Jay pursued you, what even are you without your virginity? Once you lose it, you'll fade into the background again.

No more delusions. Just plain, cruel reality.

The hurt you feel is something that you brought upon yourself. Did you not know yourself? How could you ever, even for a second, expect someone to love this version of you? When even you can't look at your body without disgust, why did you expect Jay to?

As your sobs quite down and turn into small sniffles, you dial Heeseung's number and let your phone ring. This is it, you think to yourself, heart oddly calm when he picks up on the second ring.

"Hey sweetheart, this is the first time you have called me on y-

"Do you still want to fuck me? " You ask, your voice hoarse and monotonous.

You hear a sudden clatter of something falling down on the other end of the line, like he dropped something, taken off guard by the suddenness of your question.

"I-yeah-i mean what? are you okay baby? " He splutters, and your head throbs, you look around yourself and don't even recognize where you are.

"can you pick me up? I know it's late, but i think I'm lost, you can fuck me as payment, I'm still a virgin" You explain. And somehow, hearing you talk about yourself like a commodity rubs Heeseung the wrong way. What's going on with you? You don't even sound like the y/n he knows.

"Where are you baby? " He asks, and if you didn't know any better, you would say that he sounds concerned.

"I don't know.. there's a beach nearby.... and the area looks expensive, but i can't tell what street-

"send me your location from the maps baby, I'll be right there, just stay where you are " He warns before hanging up.

You want to smack your head against concrete, so much for being an academic weapon, why didn't you think about sharing your location before.

You rub your bare arms to keep yourself warm. Apparently, the dress isn't as warm against the night cold as it seemed to be inside the warmth of the house.

Somehow, this decision feels right. Heeseung has been the only person who has been honest about his intentions with you from the very beginning. Although it was the exact same thing that Jay wanted, but still, it feels right to let Heeseung take your virginity instead of anybody else. You want this miserable fallacy of want and desire to end. And for that, you are going to give away the only thing that makes you special. Sounds like a perfect plan to you.

After what seems like an eternity, a blue Toyota stops right in front of you.

You don't even glance at it twice, just staring blankly at your feet, until you hear the driver's door open, and shoes come into your line of vision. You don't even have a chance to look up before heeseung's gathering you into his arms

"Holy fuck you're freezing baby" He exclaims, picking up your numb body as you cling onto him for life, you can barely feel your legs. Heeseung lays you down in the back seat, and instantly turns the heater on. A cold shiver runs up your spine at the sudden temperature change, your eyes falling shut on their own, and everything around you fades into darkness. You want to sleep a very long sleep.

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Heeseung looks at your body in his back seat, anxiety coiling in his stomach at the sight of you being curled up into a fetus position. Even as he drives, he can't concentrate on anything else, because he's pretty sure he saw a red mark on your left cheek, like someone hit you. Hard.

He's hoping he's wrong, because the rage building up in his chest is inexplicable.

There's dry mascara tracks running down your cheeks so he figures that you must have been crying, and he can't help the sick jolt he feels in his cock at the thought.

The yellow dress you're wearing is riding all the way upto your thighs, and Heeseung can feel his throat getting parched. So much skin. He's never seen you this exposed before. He wants to touch you, wants to run his palm over your smooth skin and kiss you till you're moaning into his mouth , and he wants to take you up on that offer you made on the phone, he wants to see for himself how pretty you look while crying.

He curses himself for having such thoughts when you're clearly not okay, but Heeseung's no saint. He’s never claimed to be one either.

He knows that if you asked him to take your virginity to his face, he will ravage you on the spot, it won't matter that you seem to be in pain. He'll make you forget everything and fill you with pure pleasure the entire night.

He's not a man of morals, and he's never pretended to be one.

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You wake up with a start, breathing heavily while your eyes adjust to the view around you. The unfamiliar soft sheets, the tasteful and expensive decor of the room, it all intimidated you somehow. You called heeseung, that's all that you remember, everything after that is a blur. Is this jay's room? Did he find you again?

Your heart's beating really fast, threatening to give up on you as you look down and see yourself in a white linen shirt instead of the dress that you were wearing instead. What the fuck happened.

You instinctively reach between your legs and it doesn't hurt, your panties are dry and intact. So, this isn't jay's house or clothes. The familiar cologne fills up your senses once you take a whiff of the shirt you're wearing, and it all makes sense. Heeseung.

This is heeseung's house, and his room probably, definitely his shirt. Did he change you out of your dress? Was he as disgusted as jay when he saw the mess that you were underneath your clothes?

You look around yourself and sigh in relief at finding your phone on the bedside table, exhaling the breath that you didn't know you have been holding.

Before you can reach for it tho, the door to the room opens. You pull the sheets closer to your chest when Heeseung peeks in. He seems a little taken aback at seeing you awake and sitting up , looking like he caught you in the middle of doing something.

"Thank god you're up baby, thought you’d die on me" He grins, coming inside and closing the door behind him. Suddenly, the room feels small for just the two of you, your fingers wringing nervously when he takes a seat next to you, his hands coming up to cup your cheeks.

You bite back a pained whimper at the pressure against your left cheek, Jay must have hit you really hard, the skin still sensitive and stinging at the slightest of touch. Heeseung seems to notice your discomfort and removes that hand instantly, choosing to caress the other side of your face instead.

"I need to know that you're okay sweetheart" He says, urging you to speak. But you don't know what you're supposed to say, you aren't okay, obviously, but this is better than everything else so you suppose you are. You choose to nod instead.

He hums and slides more closer to you, forcing you to look into his eyes, his face so close that if you leaned forward just a bit, your lips would collide.

"Do you want to tell me what happened? Who did this to you?" He asks, and you are taken aback by the softness in his touch and words. But you'd be a fool if you fall for that again.

Hence, you take hold of his free hand instead, watching how his eyes immediately fall to your tight grip, watching in rapt attention as you guide his hand under your shirt, and between your legs. Heeseung's eyes instantly darken when his hand comes into contact with your panty clad pussy, a few choice words leaving his mouth when you gasp at his touch.

Fuck. He likes this bold version of you.

His eyes meet yours, and hot arousal pools in his lower stomach at the way you're looking at him, eyes blown out in lust and desperation.

"It doesn't matter" You whisper, inching closer to his face, and planting a quick kiss to the corner of his mouth "just want you to fuck me and show me how good sex can feel"

A deep grunt leaves his chest at your words, and the next thing you know, his hungry mouth is latched on yours, the force of his actions making you hit your back against the bed sheets while he mounts your body, his palm still cupping the centre of your legs. He kisses you like he's been deprived of you for so long. All thoughts of your well being leave his mind, focus locked onto the sinful words you just whispered into his ear. His tongue dives into your mouth and you give him free access, both of you exchanging spit messily. You mewl into his kiss, your body squirming pathetically when he starts rubbing your clit from above your panties, applying just the right amount of pleasure to leave you gasping.

You're just about to thread your fingers in his silky strands when the familiar ringtone of your phone makes you jolt. He ignores the sound like he can't even hear it, tongue too busy sucking yours, the movement of his thumb getting faster and harder.

You can't ignore the sound tho, there aren't many people who call you. So, when your phone rings for the second time, you know it's important. You push against his chest, and he pulls away, panting heavily while he stares at you, brows furrowed in confusion.

You swallow the spit pooling in your mouth as you watch him gathering your saliva coating his lips and sucking it into his own. How does he make everything seem so hot and nasty?

"Sorry, i- i have to take that" you whisper, motioning towards your blaring phone. Heeseung grabs it from the nightstand and hands it over to you instantly "make it fast baby" He grunts, retreating his hand from between your legs and settling on groping the soft flesh of your thighs instead.

You nod, and curse when you see Suzy's name. Fuck. Fuck. You never thought about informing her of your whereabouts. She must have been waiting for you. Jihoon must be waiting for you. With an apology on the top of your tongue, you swipe right.

"Hey suzy, I'm sorr-

"Y/n, your dad is back and you need to come back right now" Her terrified voice cuts you off. Panic takes hold of your spine, and you instinctively get out of the bed, standing up to calm down your heart. You can feel heeseung's inquisitive gaze on you, but you can't be bothered with keeping up appearances right now.

"What do u mean? Why do u sound scared?" You ask her, tears gathering at your waterline, because as much as you want to stay calm, the terror grips hold of your heart. It’s never good when your dad is back.

There's some shuffling on the other side, and your heart drops when you recognize jihoon's sobs, and Suzy's coos trying to shush him down.

"What's going on?!" you can't help but raise your voice, even though it quivers.

"Listen y/n, I think he came back a few hours ago, but when he didn't find you at home he came banging on my door, asking me where you were. And he was drunk out of his mind, but he heard jihoon's voice and now he is not leaving. He keeps banging on the windows, and asking for his son, I don't know what to do. I kept calling you, and you didn't pick up. I'm going to call the police, but jihoon is not my child y/n, you have to come back right now" More shuffling, and a loud thudding sound cuts the call off, making your heart beat out of your chest.

"Suzy??, suzy?!" No response. You look around in panic, meeting Heeseung's worried eyes.

"Pants, can you lend me some pants please" you ask him, tears dripping down your face. You're panicking so hard right now, your fingers feel numb. Heeseung scrambles to his feet immediately, and noticing your shaking hands, he helps you inside them himself, folding them so they don’t restrict your movement.

"Thank you, can you- you fret- can you please, please drop me to my house. I know I promised I'd let you fuck me but I really need-

His soft lips interrupt your rant while he kisses you tenderly and cups your face, wiping your tears with the pads of his thumbs "address, baby"

And this time, you tell him your real one.

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You keep dialing Suzy's number the entire ride home but she doesn't pick up. If Heeseung hears you quietly sobbing, he doesn't mention it. You guide him to your house, and are thankful for the distraction his fingers provide as he draws random patterns on your thigh with his free hand.

You don't believe in God, you never have, but somehow , in this moment, you pray to whatever power is out there, if there is any, to keep your brother safe. You don't care about anything else. Just keep your little love safe.

Heeseung doesn't make small talk, doesn't ask questions, and you find that so comforting, it makes you wanna sob your heart out in his car.

The way he doesn’t look even slightly disgruntled by the state of your house or your neighborhood makes you want to tell him all about that you've been going through while he says nothing at all. It's been so long since someone listened to you, you know, just for the sake of listening, to take some burden off of your heavy heart.

You don't question it when heeseung gets out of his car with you, letting him follow you to Suzy's house. You don't even trust heeseung like that, but knowing that he's right behind gives you a silent strength.

Your dad's slumped on the front porch, one baseball bat clutched in one hand, and rubbing his face with the other. To say that he disgusts you, would be an understatement. How could you have ever loved this man? You haven't seen your father in so long, he got lost behind the violent person with red raging eyes a very long time ago. This man in front of you isn't your dad.

His bleary eyes fall on you, and he instantly stumbles onto his feet, pointing the bat at you.

"Where have you been you little whore" He hisses, his red eyes looking at you in pure hatred.

"What do you want dad?" You ask, fighting away any shakiness that manages to creeps into your words. Your heart is beating fast, you need to make sure that jihoon is safe, but the lack of noise from inside the house scares you.

"Where's my money?" He demands gruffly, taking a few steps towards you. You don't stumble back like you usually do, trying to hold your ground.

"There's no money dad, there's nothing for you here" You quip. Your words seem to anger him more, his nostrils flare, and he points the bat at the house "bring that little bitch out, I know you're hiding him inside, if you won't make me money, he will" He spits, and you can't believe your ears, hot tears dribble down your cheeks, blurring your vision of him.

"What the fuck is wrong with you?? Have you got no amount of shame left in you? "

A yelp resounds from your throat when your father grabs hold of your wrist all of a sudden, pulling you close, boring his threatening eyes into yours. You wince at the smell of alcohol on his breath.

"The fuck did you just say to me you little slut- he twists your arm, making you cry out in pain, you try pulling yourself away but he only tightens his hold on your arm- do u want me to break your ribs like I did with your whore moth- it all happens so fast, the grip on your arm loosens, a scream rips through the air, your dad falls to the ground. And then there's silence.

You stare in disbelief at the boy straddling over your dad's unconscious body, wiping his bloody knuckles on his jeans. He punches your dad's face twice more, then kicks him to roll him over while he stands back up.

At that point he turns to you, and you start sobbing. Heeseung is about to open his mouth to apologize for punching your dad unconscious, panicking that he did something wrong when you're pulling him into you, smashing your lips against his, kissing him with all that you've got.

Heeseung is taken aback, his eyes widening when your taste invades his mouth, but he recovers almost instantly and pulls you close to his body, kissing you back just as hard. The kiss is wet and salty because of how much you're crying, but he couldn't care less.

You're both breathing heavily when you pull apart, eyes widening when you hear Suzy's door click open. Jihoon!

You leave Heeseung standing on the porch, running to suzy when she comes outside "jihoon?" you question, your voice out of breath.

She glances at Heeseung, and then at your dad, before looking back at you.

"He fell asleep while crying, I think he got one of his seizures y/n, all the shouting really scared him" she explains, and you cup your mouth, more tears prick your eyes, feeling your heart break all over again.

It's been years since your brother got his last seizure attack because of trauma triggers. You have managed to keep him away from all his triggers, except this time. All because you were selfish, and wanted to stay the night away. Your life has to be one long, never ending sick joke.

"where's he?" you ask, your voice feeble, you're afraid you'll start screaming if you aren't careful.

"In the spare bedroom, go, I'll take care of him" She says, motioning towards your dad.

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The time span between carrying your brother home to tuck his sleeping figure inside his buzz Light year sheets, while suzy takes care of informing the police and calling the ambulance for your unconscious, and injured dad is a blur for you.

Heeseung doesn't get in trouble because you vouch for the attack being in self defense, your dad's history of abuse and drinking helps your case.

After all cars are gone, and you finally breathe a sigh of relief, you realize that Heeseung is still here. Your heart feels full when you look at his unruly appearance, and you don't want to admit the yearning you feel for him right at this moment. He's the first person besides suzy to witness the shit show that is your life, and you wonder why isn't gone yet.

And then you remember. Right, your virginity. How can you forget.

You find him leaning against your kitchen counter, hands in pocket as he waits for you. He looks so out of place standing in your small kitchen, the light bulb swinging above his head makes his skin glow, and you can't help but be attracted towards him like a moth drawn to the flame. His eyes find yours as soon as you round the corner to your kitchen, and they stay. This look is different.

He's looking at you like he's seeing you for the first time.

You take tentative steps towards his figure, fiddling with the long sleeves of his shirt that you're wearing. You don't even get to open your mouth before he's pulling you closer to him, his one hand wrapping around your waist while he cups your cheek with the other, swallowing the gasp that escapes your lips at the sudden touch.

He kisses you like you're the air that he breathes, his tongue dipping and tasting all crevices of your warm mouth. You fist the shirt on his chest, and tilt your head to deepen the kiss, whining into his famished mouth.

The kiss is everything you've ever wanted. It's not rushed, but it's needy. The passion dripping from his lips renders you boneless, and you lean further into him. The exhaustion seeping inside your bones seems to get heavy with each languid stroke of his tongue, and you don't realize when the tears start falling down your cheeks. He doesn't pull back tho, just trails his kisses upto your face, swallowing your tears as he pulls you flush to his body, dissipating any ounce of space that was left between you two.

When you pull apart, your mouths are connected by a string of saliva, hot pants escaping your chests. He rests his forehead against yours, and caresses your face by the back of his hand, cooing when you bite your lower lip to stop the tears from falling again.

You're exhausted. You're dead tired and his touch seems to be your undoing, setting all your emotions free, the severity of all the events that happened in the last twelve hours hitting you all at once.

"Let me fuck your pain away, baby" He whispers, and in that moment, you can't seem to resist falling into the familiar comfort of delusion. You know that once you let him fuck you, he'll lose interest, but you need it now. You want to bask in his affection and call it love. You want to experience feeling loved and wanted before it's inevitably snatched away from you.

"fuck me" you whisper back, wrapping your arms around his shoulders when he groans and leans into your mouth again. Heeseung feels like a fucking jerk, but seeing you so helpless, and in dire need of his touch makes him delirious.

This is a new feeling. This desire to be needed by you.

He would not admit it to you, but he relishes in the fact that you're alone, and in so much pain. It makes it easier for him to show you how much you need him. He wants you to keep him, crave him like he does you.

You gasp into his mouth when he hoists you up into his arms, your tiny figure melting into his touch. He loves it, loves how easy you are.

He might be taking advantage of your pain and vulnerability, but he only wants you to want him just as badly as every bone in his body wants you.

Your back hits the couch, and you stare up at him with wide eyes as he hovers over you, a lustful glint in them that drives him nuts. Your hands bunch up the shirt on his chest, and you pull him back into you again, not getting enough of his lips on yours.

You love how dizzy his touches are making you, your body arching into him when he gropes your curves, his hands all over you.

"Wanna see you naked" He whispers, and your heart plummets into your stomach. A sinking feeling beginning to form a pit inside your chest. No, it can't be happening again.

He must see the hesitance on your face, because he's caressing your cheek again, so softly and so gently, you almost mistake it for genuine care, but you know better.

"What is it?" He asks, planting few pecks on your pouty and swollen lips.

You twiddle with the button of his shirt, and avoid eye contact.

"C-can we turn the lights off? looking at me might turn you off" you manage to mumble, the words burning your throat on their way out .However, you're done lying to yourself.

Heeseung doesn't say anything, and you peek up to see his face. He is looking at you like you've grown two heads. It makes you feel self conscious, your ears burning in humiliation, feeling like you ruined the mood already.

"You're beautiful" He blurts, eyes still fixed on you in disbelief, he can't fathom you thinking such a thing about yourself. Him? Getting turned off by you? He has not heard a more ridiculous thing in his life before.

Your eyes snap up to him at his words and you furrow your brows in irritation.

"You don't have to lie to get inside my pants I al-"

"I've jerked off to your face" He cuts you off. Your mouth splutters like a fish as you blink up at him, trying to process his words.

He's still staring at you, eyes dark and deep.

"Jerked off just to your face. Not even your body. you're so beautiful I get hard by the mere thought of you"

You don't know whether to laugh or cry. Only Heeseung can say such things and make them feel like a compliment. You can't help the giggle that escapes your lips, and you hide your face into your hands.

"God, you're unbelievable" you groan between your giggles, unknown to the fact that heeseung's currently losing his damn mind on top of you. In that moment he realises, that he's never made you laugh before. You have never looked up at him and giggled before. The sound shoots straight to his hardening cock and spreads a warm feeling inside of his chest. He can't believe how overwhelming this sudden emotion is, and he isn’t sure where this sudden influx of affection for you is coming from. However, there’s one thing heeseung’s sure about, and it’s the fact that he loves this sight more than he loves to see you crying. And that's saying a lot.

He swallows thickly when you remove your hands from in front of your face, and smile up at him, chewing on your lower lip as the blush on your cheeks darkens

"This might be most romantic thing someone has ever said to me" you whisper, wrapping your arms around his neck again.

Heeseung leans down to press soft kisses to your jaw, preventing you from seeing the softness in his eyes. He trails his kisses down towards your neck, loving the way your breath hitches.

"Do you wanna hear the other romantic things I have to say about you?" He asks, mouthing at your collarbone, and you whine when he digs his teeth into your soft skin.

"Y-yeah" you mewl, your body squirming as he squeezes your ass in one hand while he supports himself over you with the other.

His hand travels inside your (his) shirt, touching your skin, caressing it. You bite on your lower lip, eyes fluttering when he reaches your bra covered breasts. Your nipples are already hard and pebbled, and you moan loudly when he pinches them.

"fuck" He groans, your erotic sounds making him leak inside his jeans.

He mouths hotly at the hollow of your neck, and squeezes your boobs harshly, making you cry out again. Fuck, he loves playing with your body like this.

You tangle your fingers inside his hairs, your toes curling at the attention he's giving to your chest.

Heeseung sits up to unbutton your shirt, manhandling your body to take it off of you in a lust driven frenzy. As soon as it’s off of your body, he instantly goes back to squeezing your soft flesh again, watching with dark eyes how your soft skin turns red in his hold.

"Ah-heeseung" you whimper, feeling exposed at how he greedily drinks in your uncovered skin.

He unbuttons your (his) jeans, and slides them off of your legs in one go, discarding them on the floor. He bites his lower lip, his eyes running across your uncovered body, and he can feel how hard and heavy he is inside his jeans. He fights the urge to squeeze his junk when you bite on your finger, doe eyes staring up at him, your body squirming as he gropes you.

You're so naively sexy, your innocence drives him batshit insane.

"I almost jerked off to you while changing your clothes you know? you just looked too fucking sexy to resist" He grunts, his fingers running over your stretch marks. Before you have a chance to feel self conscious about the fact that he's seen your body before, or feel apprehensive about his touch on your stretch marks, he leans down to kiss them. You gasp when he runs his hot tongue over them, kissing and licking like he can't help it. He traces your panty line with the tip of his tongue, hands groping your thighs mercilessly.

He's so close to your pussy, and your face burns.

"H-heeseung" You squeak out, and the boy instantly climbs up your body to come face to face with you, pecking you softly as he hums.

"I-i haven't shaved" you tell him shyly, your ears heating up in embarrassment. But you need to tell him now before he recoils in disgust later.

What you don't expect is the way he chuckles, leaning down to nibble on your cheek while his hand cups your breast again, squeezing and groping.

"you worry about the things that don't even cross my mind baby- he pecks your nose and stares into your eyes- you think I'll care about some hairs when your warm pussy is right there? that I'll be able to think about anything other than sucking and fucking when my dick's about to fall off?"

Your face is so hot you can feel the heat radiating off of you. Though his words are vulgar, and so obscene, they do placate your worries for a bit.

Keyword : a bit.

You're still apprehensive about him being down there. What if you smell bad? and taste even worse?

You gasp when he roughly pulls your boobs out of your bra cups, and takes one in his wet mouth. You tug on his hairs, and moan when he bites your nipple too harshly, the sensation making you arch your back into his mouth.

You don't notice when his hand travels between your legs, but a deep whine falls from your lips when he runs a finger over your panty clad slit.

"you're fucking dripping baby" He groans into your flesh that he still has in his mouth, sucking and biting both of your boobs till they sting.

You try to close your thighs around his hand but he tsks in faux disappointment, and parts them again, trailing his kisses down towards your centre, leaving no portion of your skin unmarked.

He kisses your pussy from above your panties, slurpimg your wetness through the sheer material, burying his nose into your slit.

"fuck baby, taste so good" he groans, rubbing his nose in your wetness, tracing the outline of your pussy with his mouth. You bite your finger, and squirm in his touch, feeling yourself dripping more.

He trails his kisses down to your inner thighs, making you squeal when he digs his teeth into your sensitive flesh. He chuckles into your skin, and does the same to your other thigh. He seems to be enjoying this more than you are. He leaves more bites marks up your leg before burying his face between your legs again, making your thighs close around his head.

The action makes something in him snap, and heeseung sits up on his hunches, stares straight into your eyes while he licks his lips for your juices, and starts sliding your panties down your smooth legs.

“want you in my mouth before we fuck”

Your breath hitches when his heavy lidded eyes snap down to your nakedness, and he closes his eyes to groan.

"shit" He curses, parts your legs open, and dives straight between your legs, not even bothering to take off your panties all the way off as it hangs on your ankle obscenely. He sucks your sensitive clit into his mouth,and you moan so loudly it has you slapping your palm over your own. The overwhelming sensation makes your eyes roll back, only ever feeling your own fingers down there, it's a heady feeling to feel someone else.

You tangle your fingers in his hairs, tugging harshly when he slurps your wetness, parting your pussy open with his fingers,and thrusting his tongue inside your virgin hole,running it all over your vulva like a starved man.

You thrash in his hold, a shiver running down your spine when his nose bumps your clit, and he starts applying pressure, rubbing it back and forth. The obscene squelch that you can hear from between your legs has your face burning, you can't believe how wet you are. You aren't ready for the sudden feeling of his finger sliding inside your pussy, and you scream. Heeseung looks up at you from between your legs, and increases his movement, eyes dark as they watch you lose yourself to pleasure.

"How does that feel? " He asks, voice so deep it makes your pussy throb.

You moan, and nod your head rapidly "s-so good" you whimper when he dives down to suck on your clit again. The combined feeling of his fingers and mouth pushes you closer to your orgasm.

"Yeah baby? Your pussy's so tight, can't wait to get in there, wanna feel good too" He groans, thrusting a second finger inside your warm cavity, and probing inside your gummy walls in come hither motion that makes you mewl.

"So wet" He mumbles, licking into your pussy again. And God do you taste addicting, heeseung can spend the whole day buried in between your legs if you would give him a chance. The way your walls flutter around his fingers has him leaking copious amount of precum in his jeans, and he has never been so turned on before.

"pleasee" You moan, and he's crawling up to you again, his lips capturing yours and you can taste yourself on his tongue. He fucks you with his fingers rapidly, lust filled eyes watching in rapt attention at how your eyes flutter shut, and your body arches into him, so ready to getting lost in pleasure.

He curses under his breath as he watches how you grind your hips on his fingers, trying to chase the pleasure they’re giving you

"yeah? Gonna cum and make a mess baby? " He asks into your mouth, swallowing your moan, and licking the drool escaping your lips.

You nod your head and dig your nails into his neck, holding onto him for your life. Heeseung ruts his hard on against your thigh as he watches you come undone on his fingers alone, moaning his name unintelligibly. Watching you cum is the hottest thing he’s ever seen, he decides.

"Cum on me, make yourself feel good" he sighs, the pleasure filled expression on your face has him close to cumming untouched. You gyrate your hips while his fingers get covered in your juices, drenching his palm as he helps you ride out your orgasm. You sigh out in relief, coming down from your high, your hold loosens on his neck and you squirm while you watch him sucking his fingers, tasting your juices. It's so hot, you don't even realize when you lean in. His lips meet yours and you moan upon tasting your cum, sucking on his tongue like he sucks yours.

"Made you feel so good yeah?" He asks, his voice hoarse in desire, and you nod, pushing yourself into him again. He wraps his arms around your body, and unhooks your bra, finally taking it off of your body, and discarding it somewhere.

"My turn" He grunts.

You rub your thighs together while he unbuckles his belt, ogling your naked body like a pervert. Your eyes widen when he pulls his boxers down unceremoniously, just enough to let his dick flop out.

It's bigger in person,even bigger than you remember while touching him and you whine. There's no way that can fit inside you. His eyes darken as he strokes his cock, fisting it to the sight of your naked body lying so helplessly, ready for the taking. And God does he want to take you.

If you weren't a virgin, he would have been pounding your hole by now, but as much as he's impatient, he wants to make this experience good for you too.

You're sucking on your finger again, your eyes fixed on how he moves his palm up and down his shaft, the real life version makes you drip more than the video he sent did.

Heeseung hovers over your body again, and grabs your hand, pulling out your finger from your mouth. "No hiding your sounds from me, wanna hear you loud and clear while I fuck you stupid" He growls, and you squirm under his gaze.

You yelp when you feel him running his dickhead against your slick pussy, wetting it in your juices for a smooth slide. You dig your nails into his shoulders, staring up at him with your big doe eyes as you utter the words which make Heeseung finally snap.

"p-please don't make it hurt" your voice is the sweetest thing he's ever heard, and God, does he want to hurt you. He wants to roughly push himself inside till there's nothing but tears of pain and pleasure running down your pretty face. He wants to make you scream, and show you how pain only heightens the pleasure.

You're so naive, looking up at him, trusting him, but heeseung is lost in his dark desires and pushes in without a warning. You turn him on so badly. You scream at the way his length bullies itself inside your tight hole, scraping against your walls and your body feels like it's being split in half. Tears blur your vision and you push against his chest, sobbing through the pain that makes you want to run away. It's too much.

"h-hurts please-oh-" his hips push inside and then he's balls deep into you, groaning in satisfaction while you scream again. The feeling of your hymen tearing apart makes you sob uncontrollably, and you try to angle your hips away from him. He doesn’t fit, he’s gonna tear you apart.

Heeseung holds your hips in his bruising grip, and starts moving in and out. He's too damn turned on to think about anything else other than how good your virgin pussy feels around his dick. "Stay still baby, let me feel good" He grunts, pulling out of your hole to the hilt, and then pushing inside again. In and out. In and out. His hot pants fall onto your wet cheeks. Heeseung reaches down to rub on your clit, relishing in the wet warmth of your pussy. It feels more pleasurable for him when you start getting impossibly wet. Soon enough, Your pain filled sobs start to subside, and pleasure filled sobs start to leave your lips instead.

That's when he starts fucking in earnest. Once he hears you moan in pleasure, heeseung lets go of all his inhibitions, and straight up pounds into you.

"Fuck yeah baby, so fucking tight for me" he groans, snapping his hips against you at a rapid pace. His balls smack against your ass every time he pushes in, and the skin slapping sounds make your head throb in pleasure.

You didn't know sex could feel so good. "Heeseung please, oh my god" You moan when his dick rubs against your sweet spot, his hot pants fall on your mouth while he slots his lips against yours in imitation of a kiss

"Yeah? Just like that?" He asks, his own eyes rolling back when you clench around him. So deliciously tight.

The slide inside is so deep and so wet, it makes his hips pick up speed.

"Warm little cunt, waited so long to get inside" he groans, biting on your lower lip, and grinding his pelvis against yours.

The sheer ecstasy running through your veins at the way his cock makes out with your cervix, makes you thrust up your hips against him. You buck into his hold, pressing your body closer, rubbing your chest against his clothed one. It's then that you realize that he's still wearing clothes.

Heeseung curses under his breath when you whine and tug at his shirt.

"You wanna feel me naked baby?" he asks, running his hands over your curves as he pounds into your warm hole. It's too good to stop.

You nod and tug on his shirt again, trying to get closer to him.

"Fuck" Heeseung mutters, and sits back on his hunches, his hips still grind into you while he strips himself off of his clothes. He pulls himself out of you for a split second to discard his jeans and boxers on the floor, then he's thrusting into you again.

"This is so much fucking better" He moans, loving how your naked body arches into his own, rubbing yourself against him so desperately. The delicious friction of your grinding sexes makes you both delirious in pleasure. Heeseung digs his fingers into the fat of your waist, and buries his face inside the crook of your neck, kissing and moaning along it while his thrusts become merciless. You dig your nails into his shoulders, and throw your head back, exposing more skin for him to dig his teeth into. The obscene way your naked bodies buck and thrust against each other to reach pleasure high is a sight to behold. The skin slapping, and wet squelching sounds fill up the space between your heated bodies, and you never want this feeling to stop.

"tight fucking cunt, so good, wanna keep fucking till my dick aches" His filthy words travel deep inside your core, and warmth spreads inside your womb, the knot starting to form in your stomach.

"oh my god" You moan when he slows his hips into a slow grind, hitting all the right spots inside your swollen pussy.

"Yeah? fuck yourself on my dick like a slut, grind your virgin little pussy on my meat" He growls, coming up to capture your lips in his own, groaning into your mouth when you dig your nails painfully inside his flesh, enough to draw blood.

The sweat drips down your bodies, as you rut against each other in pure pleasure. You moan into heeseungs mouth as he languidly licks against your open cavity, sucking on your tongue, and exchanging spit.

The pace of his thrusts fasten, and he pounds you into the couch, fucking into you like his life depends on it. Your words are reduced to mere moans and babbles, your tongue lolling out at how good he feels.

"gonna cum inside this cunt baby, gonna let me fill you up right? flood your insides with my fuck cream?" You nod in a lust filled haze, and heeseung licks the saliva that pools in the corner of your mouth.

" Yeah? Real deep baby? Fuck-so fucking good Jesus" He growls, his spit and sweat falling into your mouth as he starts rutting into you like an animal. He can feel himself getting closer. the knot in your stomach snaps when he presses his palm into your lower stomach to trace his outline. You gasp into his mouth, and your body convulses uncontrollably.

"Fuck yeah, god you're gonna make me cum, god im- his hips grind a few times inside your pussy, and then he's stilling inside of you, the tight clench of your pussy pushing him over the edge, shooting his thick cum inside your womb.

It feels so good that Heeseung keeps moving inside you till you whine and cry out in overstimulation. You're grateful when he listens, and pulls out, but the very next second, he's getting down there and burying his face between your legs again, slurping your combined juices from your pussy. Your toes curl at the feeling, and you can't help but open your mouth when he comes up to slot his cum filled one against yours. It's nasty, but you can't stop licking into him, tasting your mixed release together.

"Fuck, you're nasty" He chuckles, finally turning your body around, and wrapping you into his embrace.

For the first time in your life, you fall asleep nuzzled into a warm and comforting body against you.

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Heeseung has always prided himself in the fact that he doesn’t get attached to people easily, doesn’t feel certain emotions until he allows himself to. He’s not a good person, he’s always known this, that’s the reason why he has always kept himself at a distance.

Watching. Observing.

Nothing in his life is unpredictable, heeseung works according to the plan, always predicting and preparing himself for situations that can happen. That’s just how he operates.

Watching. Observing. Executing.

You, however, caught him off guard. Heeseung was never ready for you to barge in his life the way that you did.

You think you know him from third semester but heeseung knows you from way before that. The first time he’d seen you was on the very first day of college, waiting right outside the registrar office, chewing on your bottom lip nervously as you stepped aside for people to pass.

There was something about you that stuck with Heeseung. He couldn't figure out what it was no matter how much he thought about it but you soon became a constant itch at the back of his mind.

It wasn't like you were strikingly pretty. Heeseung had been surrounded by beautiful women all his life. Almost desensitized to extravagant beauty. It all seemed vague to him.

You were not extraordinarily pretty, no.

But you were enchanting. it was the type of pretty that stuck with you, that stayed with you, the type of pretty that might not capture your attention in the first glance but the second or third glance might have you hooked; the type of pretty that was made up of hesitant smiles and solemn gazes and fidgeting hands.

Heeseung watched you from afar for a long time, observing, learning. That was until he saw an opportunity to be in the same lecture as you. That’s when he started executing.

And then you made him fail. At his own game.

Heeseung’s sickness identified and craved yours, rendering him powerless when he realized that maybe,you were even sicker than him, a thousand times more depraved. You just didn’t know it yet.

He didn’t realize when you became the very thing he breathes, carving yourself a home inside the darkest parts of his heart.

Ever since he fucked you into your sheets, his craving for you has increased tenfold. He is way past pretending that you are some stupid bet, or a mere name on the list. Seeing you vulnerable, and yet so strong , made something shift in him. He's always been sick in desire for you, but over the past few months, you have managed to infiltrate your way inside his brain.

"How's the mission " Cherries to pop" going for you man?" Jake's voice interrupts his thoughts, and he doesn't have to think twice about his answer, eyes fixated on your slumped figure as he replies

"Take her off the list, I won"

Numerous gasps are heard around him, sunghoon laughs in shock, eyes meeting Jake's in disbelief "you can't be serious, was she any good? " He asks, nervousness creeping in his voice, because heeseung does look serious.

Heeseung turns his eyes towards sunghoon, face void of any recognizable emotion

"the bet's over. I don't want to talk about it, but if I see any of you fuckers around her after this, it's going to get bloody " He warns, sweeping his eyes over the shocked faces of the boys around him. And with that, you are taken off the list forever.

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You hear the whispers, you aren't deaf, but something inside you disassociated when you woke up in the evening after losing your virginity. Cold and alone.

Heeseung had cleaned your body and clothed it before he left, but not having him near stung more than you ever thought it would. It was to be expected tho, wasn’t it? He got what he wanted, there was no reason to stay.

"can't believe heeseung really did it"

"Man, she doesn't look like she must have been a good fuck"

"A win is a win"

You don't dare look up the entire day, ignoring all the folded papers that fall beside your leg. Curiosity doesn't get the better of you, and you don't pick them up to read what's inside. It just doesn't seem to matter anymore. All this buzz will die down in a week, and you will finally resort back to the dark corners, and shadows where people will no longer look at you, just past you.

You don't dread the reality of your situation anymore, a small sigh leaving your lips as you gather your stuff, and walk past the inquisitive stares.

Settling down at the farthest seat in the cafeteria gives you a sense of relief. This seat has been your safe space through all ups and down. The only constant in the chaos of your existence.

You're busy swirling your food around the plate when a sudden quiet falls over the cafeteria. All the chitter chatter and noise dies down. It's almost eerie. Eerie enough to finally make you look up to see what's wrong. Your eyes turn towards the entrance as you follow everyone's collective gaze, and what you see makes your heart plummet in your stomach.

It's Jay. But he's wearing a cap, his head slumped down as he makes his way towards his seat with an obvious limp, but it doesn't hide the black and blue wound blossoming around his left eye, several deep cuts on his lower lip, and scratches on his cheek. The high neck he's wearing sticks out like a sore thumb in mid July, and you wonder if there's more that he's trying to hide. You don't have to worry about facing him, looks like he's not going to be looking up anytime soon.

Realization sets inside your throat like a lump, and you instinctively snap your gaze towards heeseung's table. His eyes are already on you when you find him. They're dark, and tender, if that's even possible. You feel like you're drowning in them. Your throat feels full, and your eyes burn the more that you look at him, and you can't help but follow your instinct to get out of here as soon as possible. It's too much. This sudden influx of emotion is too much for you.

Murmurs follow your leave, but you don't stay behind to hear or care. Your steps are heavy and purposeful as you stride forward, away from everyone and everything. This feels like a fever dream. Why the fuck would Heeseung do that? Scratch that, how the fuck did he even find out?

But you know exactly how he found out. The location that you shared. It isn’t rocket science to figure out who lives nearby. Of course he knows. What confuses you is the fact that he cared enough to look it up and avenge you in his own sick way.Why does he even care?

You can feel a breakdown coming, and so without wasting time, you rush home in a frenzy. By the time you reach your threshold, your throat hurts, the tonsils burning in pain. Your body is begging for you to let it out, but you're a slave to your habits. Holding everything inside until it chokes your airway.

You're tapping your leg frantically as you stir a spoon haphazardly in your coffee cup, swallowing down copious amounts of caffeine to push back the inevitable. You hate breakdowns, hate feeling so out of control and vulnerable. It shatters your facade, makes you come face to face with the pretty lies that you tell yourself.

"It's going to be fine, you're fine"

But are you?

A loud honking in your front yard makes you drop your cup, spilling all of its contents on your shoes, jumping back as you get startled out of your mind.

Who the fuck?

You step over the mess and make your way to your front door, watching in disbelief as Heeseung's car idles in front of you. He's looking right at you from his window, and you wonder what is it about his eyes. There's something about his eyes and the way he looks at you. It makes you feel naked. Body and soul. It seems like he looks right through you, and you don't know if you like that.

Your feet move on their own and he doesn’t even have to say anything. In no time, you find yourself sitting inside his car, your back against the expensive leather seats, while you play with the stray threads of your blouse.

"What do you want now?" you ask, deciding to break the silence. It's only fair to stop beating around the bush and get this over with. Whatever this is.

"You" He answers almost immediately, making you scoff. You don't look at him but you can feel his gaze burning into you.

"I'm not a virgin anymore Heeseung, you won, there’s nothing more that I can offer you" Your voice feels scratchy against your throat, and you wonder if it's because of the tears you keep pushing back.

There's a heavy pause of silence, and then you hear him chuckle, almost in pity and contempt.

"You don't get it do you?" He asks, voice laced with disbelief.

When you don't look up, and don't respond, he laughs hollowly.

"Ask me why I did that" He says, his tone a tad bit deeper now. It's a demand. "Ask me why I smashed pretty boy's face in"

You swallow the lump in your throat, and close your eyes. Not now please.

"Why" you whisper ask, almost inaudible if it wasn't for the pin drop silence in the car.

"because it gave me a sick satisfaction to see him in pain. I'm not sorry about how your old man ended up either. If I could, I would shoot both of their skulls open for putting their hands on you"

The anger and pure hatred in his voice makes a sob to rip through your chest, eyes finally snapping up to meet his. They're dark in anger, and disdain, and you wonder why he cares so much. You look over to his wounded knuckles which are turning white due to how tightly he’s gripping onto the steering wheel. The sight of his anger mirroring your own ignites a spark of recognition deep within you. The raw intensity of emotion emanating from Heeseung stirs something inside your vacant soul. For the first time in what feels like an eternity, you feel seen. Validated. All this time, you had told yourself that you got what you deserve. You were fundamentally flawed, and all of this pain was your own fault.You never allowed yourself to be angry, burying the rage beneath your stoic facade, but seeing Heeseung angry for you makes your own walls crumble one by one.

"I want to cut open anyone who's ever hurt you baby, I want to be the only one who gets to hurt you" He declares.

You gape at him while tears run down the slope of your cheeks

"that's-that's not normal" you whisper, but his expressions don't crack, eyes wide and pupils dilated. In this moment, he looks insane, and it scares you how much you want to get lost in him.

"You don't need normal" he replies.

His words hit heavy and get stuck inside your throat. You look away and wipe your tears, swallowing another bout of sobs threatening to escape your chest. The walls are cracking, the sound of them breaking and destructing can be heard as you let his words sink in.

"Quit your part time job and let me take care of you. Your every need, I'll satisfy it. You won't even have to ask me for it and it will be done" He says, leaning forward, as if trying to make you see the reason in what he's saying.

You shake your head, eyes brimming with anger and tears as you stare right into his own.

"I don't need you to take care of me. I've always done it myself and I have managed to do it just fine, I don’t need you" you seethe, feeling rage at his implication that you can't hold your own.

His expressions soften as he runs his eyes over your angry tears, his hand coming up to wipe them with his thumb. It’s pathetic how this small caress makes you lean into his touch.

"No you don't. But I need you. I need to take care of you. I won’t be able to live with myself if I don't" He confesses.

More tears run down your cheeks as sobs rip through your chest, and he continues to caress your face.

"Is this a declaration of love?" you grouch through your physical grief, watching how his eyes gaze into yours, as if he wasn't expecting you to ask him that.

"Does it have to be? I promise to keep you happy and protect you from all harm, should that not be enough?"

You stare into his orbs and your heart skips a beat at the raw vulnerability you find there. He's just as scared as you, if not more. Turns out, you aren't the only one who is bad at confronting feelings.

You crawl your way onto his lap, and he instantly wraps his arms around you, like you belong there. You take his hand into your own and press tender kisses onto his knuckles, and he watches you do it. Then you look up, and smile. That smile seems to be his undoing. Heeseung instantly leans down to kiss you fervently. You tangle your fingers in his hairs, kissing back just as deeply, and he groans into the kiss. The collision of your mouths is desperate, as if trying to convey all that's left unsaid.

"It's enough" You mumble into his mouth, and he swallows your words greedily.

#enhypen smut #enhypen hard thoughts #enhypen hard hours #enhypen hard headcanons #enhypen #heeseung smut #lee heesung x reader #lee heeseung smut #lee heeseung #heeseung x reader #heeseung angst #enhypen angst #jay x reader #park jongseong

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winterarmyy · 9 months

Text

And You're Mine

How grumpy chubby alpha!bucky finally found his omega

Summary: In which Bucky, the big, scary, 'undesired alpha' was tricked into a blind date where he met his precious little omega.

Note: Read the prequel here 《 Must Be Fate 》

Words: 4.7k++

Pairing: chubby alpha!bucky x omega!female!reader

Warnings: implied 18+ content, implied smut, a/b/o dynamics, self-deprication, body shaming, tiny bit of angst, fluffiness, bucky has a size kink (if you squint), horny-ass bucky has lots of dirty thoughts, vivian being a digusting bitch, protective y/n, even more protective bucky and overall wholesome.

P/S: Ahhhhhhhhh!!! My first omega-verse fic; i have no clue what I'm doing. This is mostly self-indulgent but if you come across this and somehow interested to read it then I hope you enjoy!

Read my other works here: Masterlist

"Are you fucking with me right now?" Bucky momentarily shuts his eyes, slightly titled his chin upwards, as if that'll help the boiling blood within his nerves to cool down.

Steve had expected that his best friend would be a little bit annoyed with his decision to trick him into agreeing to this suprise date but he didn't expect him to get this pissed, "Come on now, Buck. I promise you're gonna love this one."

"You said the same shit everytime!" Bucky almost roared in the middle of the crowded carnival, but he held back with a muted growl.

Ever since he lost his left arm on a rescue mission during his time in the Special Forces Unit, the society had deemed him to be "lesser than" despite the alpha title he was born into.

You would've thought that serving your country for about 6 years of your early 20's would be enough of a reason to make up for the so called "lacking", but no.

Apparently, his heroic contributions, his Sargent rank, and his literal blood, sweat and tears meant nothing when he returned home as an amputee.

Even if he came back with the medal of honor, pinned on the fabric of his uniform, right on his prideful chest; they didn't care. A defected alpha is as good as dead, especially in this modern, competitive society where its a lot more difficult to find a mate.

At first Bucky was optimistic, he didn't let them get to him.

He believed that his mate is out there somewhere, waiting for him, as he is for her.

After Stark Technologies offered him to join their research for under the Prosthetics and Orthotics Division, Bucky was lucky to fully revived his left arm in a form a vibranium prosthetic.

Even then, as time passed, the venomous whispers eventually managed to seep through; like any other poison, it is lethal to his mind.

And Bucky stopped trying to be an alpha. His pride was maimed and he let himself wallow in self hatred; letting his insecurity consume him. Eventually quite literally ate his pain away.

They said that he was rubbing salt to his own wound as now he was not just an amputated alpha, he is also a fat one at that.

With his alpha reputation being at its worst, his chances of finding a mate also went down hill.

"This one's gonna be different. Trust me." Steve claimed.

Bucky doesn't know why Steve seemed really convinced. But he wasn't having any of that, he rolled his eyes into a glare, "And how's that?"

Steve's blue eyes sparked as optimism lit on his face, "Well, first of all, she's one of Peggy's closest friends and.."

"Oh great, now you involve your omega into this." Bucky let out an unfiltered scoff before sarcastically exclaimed, "Just fantastic."

Steve growled at the mention of his mate, "Watch it, Bucky." He warned.

Bucky's drilling glare remained the same as Steve's alpha challenged his.

It's not that Bucky is against the idea of Peggy or any other omega helping him in any way. But, Steve had been annoyingly persistent with these set ups and he was sick of it. Perhaps he was a bit petty bringing Peggy into the conversation but he really was just tired of this.

Steve's scowl gradually soften before he continued his reasons, "...And, your date is actually the one requesting for a set up with you."

And that definitely caught Bucky's attention. Steve could see it, especially when Bucky's ears perked up a little and his ever-lasting frown loosen at the tiniest amount.

Steve smirked triumphantly, "Specifically you."

For moment, there was a hesitation on Bucky's side; and there were only the chaotic atmosphere around them. From the screaming of the riders on the roller coater to the giggles of children at the nearby courasell.

Steve really thought he managed to lure Bucky but he was caught by surprise when Bucky replied, "You'd think I'd fall for that crappy excuse of a lie? No. I'm leaving." Bucky turned on his heels.

"I'm not lying." Steve stopped him as he held on his arm, "Hey, you're gonna break her heart."

"Break her heart? How about mine? Just how many more heart breaks do I have to endure? How much more disappointment do I have to go through?"

Bucky gathered his palms into fists as he recalled all the mean, insulting words his past lovers had thrown at him and all those time he wasted on waiting for his dates to show up.

Just before Bucky planning to lash out, a voice interupted his thoughts "Hey, sorry for being late." Peggy came just in time.

Though it was just her; no sign of his so called date around.

An unexpected sting spreads within Bucky's chest. Of course she would stood him up too. Why was he surprised?

Steve pulled his omega into a tight hug, "Hey, baby. Where's y/n?" He asked.

"She's went to the bathroom." Peggy replied before taking a peep towards Bucky, "She got really nervous when she saw you. She might take some time to calm down. She thought its better if you know." Peggy explained.

On one side, Bucky can feel that sliver of hope creeping in. He look down to where he was supposed to see his feet, but unable to see them as now they're blocked by the round of his soft tummy. That's when the dark thoughts clouded his mind.

Was she just feeling nervous or was she regretting her decision?

After a short back and forth explanation, Peggy swept Steve away and had left Bucky on his own. She claimed that the line to the haunted house will double if they wait any longer. But, Bucky knew that they just wanted to leave him and his date alone.

Like every other date before, Bucky was emotions was all over the place; nervous, scared, intrigued, excited but what's different tonight was he also felt angry and annoyed. Which was not a good thing to feel on a date.

So he went to a Whac-A-Mole machine near the spot where he was supposed to wait for his date. He had to hit something. He just had to. He need to let his anger out one way or another.

His gloved hand gripped tightly on the wooden handle as he waited for the next round. Smack after smack, next was harsher than before, he did felt better. But even if the fire was out, the ashes were still burning.

As he was fixated on whacking the shit out of the moles, a particular scent invaded his nostrils. A sweet-smelling scent; something between a mix of cotton candy and butterscotch-caramel nuances.

It should be normal to smell this at a place such as a carnival; but the food stalls were all the way on the other end of the venue and this scent was too strong, too potent, to be that far away from him.

Bucky just had to stop as he relished the pleasant smell; it was truly a sweet and warm gourmand scent that ushered him in and out between nostalgic memories and pure raging lust.

That was when he heard a voice coming from his back, "You must've been really bored waiting that you started without me." She sounded amused when she let out a quiet laugh.

Even before Bucky had the chance to turn around he knew he was fucked; she just had to have the most captivating scent he had ever smell, and the most beautiful-sounded laughter he had ever heard.

What a foul torment to do to an alpha.

When Bucky turned around, he would've missed her if he wasn't paying enough attention on the lower area of his view.

And there she stood, in all her glory of ethereal beauty; small and sweet-looking in an off-shoulder sundress that does nothing but tempt Bucky to leave his mark all over her exposed skin. A simple necklace adorned with a gleaming stone that shines much like her eyes. A shy smile that may have just triggered some dark thoughts in Bucky's mind on corrupting the poor little thing.

"James, right? I'm y/n." she introduced herself but when Bucky's gaze fell on her rosy lips, all he could think was how bad he wanted to bite and suck on them just see if it'll get redder than they already were.

He was too focused entertaining on his inner beast's thoughts that he just stood there in silence, frowning intensely at the sweet little omega in front of him.

Y/N took his unresponsiveness as a sign of anger, so quickly apologised for her tardiness, "Sorry for making you wait so long. When we..i mean I. When I saw you, the nerves started kicking in." At least she tried to, despite stuttering in the between her words.

Fuck, she's such a pretty doll but above all, Bucky just wanted to protect her from the world, provide for her with anything she deserves, treat her like an absolute queen, worship every inch of her being like his own personal goddess and jesus fuck these urges came in stronger than he ever experienced.

With the lights coming from behind, Bucky's face was in the shadows and Y/N misterinterpret his spell-bound, diluted eyes to something else.

Y/N's brows creased in hesitation as she wonders if Bucky was still mad, "Uhh... oh shit" then her eyes widen in a false realization, "Is the something on my face?" She frantically searched for her phone in her bag.

And fuck does that big doe eyes of hers just casually seduce Bucky to think of how she would look when she's taking his cock in her mouth. She'd be so fucking pretty.

She knew she should've used her phone's camera to re-apply her lipstick instead of the cracked mirror at the carnival's bathroom, "The mirror here is f--"

Yes, Bucky would want to breed her so good that she would always be full with his pups.

She's undeniably... "Perfect." Bucky finally spoke after what seemingly feels like forever.

His voice was laced with a hint of territorial grunt that Y/N was not able to catch what he said, "Hmm?" She titled her head to the side, eyes pleading for him to repeat.

It took Bucky all of his mental strength to hold back his alpha urges when he repeats, "You're perfect, doll. Just absolutely perfect." A cheshire smile decorated his handsome face.

Did he meant to say she look perfect? Well, yes but no. He clearly meant she was perfect, her whole being. But Y/N took it as the prior, "Thank you." She smiled sweetly as her cheeks warmed.

Bucky definitely noticed the slight indent of her left dimple. And he wondered how would it felt against his fingers. "Adorable." He thought as his smile grew wider.

Y/N had been waiting for this moment, to finally had a chance to have this man even for a day, especially considering she had the biggest crush on this stranger that helped her a year ago.

One time she might just had met her potential mate was that one time she had to be dosed with shit tons of scent blockers. And that might just be reason why Bucky may not remember her but that's fine. She had one more chance with him tonight.

After that encounter, his scent, his voice, his presence lingered in her mind longer than she anticipated. At least until the moment Peggy showed a photo her alpha that had Bucky in it.

She grew hopeful and had been pestering her to set up somehow set up date with him.

When the time finally comes, she couldn't help but to fell into panic, "Did I introduce myself? I'm y/n" she completely forgot that she already did that.

Bucky let out the most adorable laugh before he reminded her, "You very well did, sugar." His hand move so naturally to tuck the strand of her hair behind her ear as she fell into utter embrassement.

"I'm Bucky." He finally introduced himself.

"Bucky?" Y/N outwardly questioned. She thought his name was James, as Peggy said it was.

He hummed softly as he nodded, "The name's James Bucky Barnes." He explained. "Just call me Bucky, yeah sugar?" He duck his head to peek on her redden face, "...cause I can't guarantee my behaviour around you if you keep calling me James." He quirked his eyebrow as his teasing grin spreads.

Oh, he was definitely and unashamedly insinuated something quite unholy there.

Bucky straighten on his back as he offered his arms, "Shall we, then? I would love to know more about you, sweet 'mega."

No matter how infatuated Bucky was with this lovely little omega clinging to his arm; a part of him was also on a defensive mode.

His insecurities gets the best of him when he believe that all of this was just an act, a cruel prank that fate has set up for him or maybe he was just having a ridiculous dream, knowing how pitiful his reality was.

Despite his gentle smile and longing gaze that's lingering on Y/N who was having the best time of her life as her bright eyes sparked at the vibrant and colorful firework show, deep down, he couldn't help to think that sooner or later, all of this will end like it always does.

Another heart break he needed to endure.

But, she was truly an angel. She was everything he could ever hoped for, everything that he could ever long for.

He can't belive that she would spend even a second of her time with a defected, fat, angry looking alpha such as himself.

Maybe this won't be just another heart break.

Maybe this would be the cause for him to actually break beyond repairable.

And she would be the catalyst.

"Thank you for today, Bucky. I truly enjoy my time with you." She confessed with a sincere appreciation and admiration towards him. She shyly broke their eye contact as her finger fiddled with soft fur of the teddy bear that Bucky won for her.

It reminds her of him so much that she insisted that he need to win it for her.

So he did.

His alpha couldn't help to puff with pride. "Omega's happy because of us." But his lips remain shut with a loving smile curved on it.

The dimple on her cheek appeared again and this time he didn't stop his hand from reaching out. Though they were gloved, he still let himself feeling the pleasure of grazing his fingers along her cheek, through her dimple and stopped underneath her chin.

Bucky pulled her closer as he dipped down to her level. Warmth sparked in Y/N's chest, as if the fireworks show magically transferred within her instead, "Buck--"

"Bucky?" A women's voice interupted their moment. "Bucky is that you?" She called again and her familiarity had caught both Y/N and Bucky's attention.

"Oh my god! It is you!" her ecstatic tone might have fool Y/N for a second there.

Maybe she's a close friend of Bucky, but when she saw the colors from his face drained quite drastically, she might need to hold on to that thought.

"Vivian." Bucky's tone changed into something Y/N couldn't put her finger on. Sorrow? Anger? Regret? She wasn't sure but it was not a positive response.

The claimed omega sauntered closer and peered towards Y/N with a glint of judgment in her eyes, "And I see you managed to trick another one, huh?"

That triggered a scarring spot within Bucky.

He could still remember the way she accused him of luring and tricking omega to be with him. Apparently, she couldn't stand being him during intimate time especially during his ruts.

And one particular moment when his rut was at its peak and she couldn't stop herself to turn into an unforgiving monster.

"I can't believe I fell for your charms. Then now I need to deal with this." Vivian looked away, unable to look at her boyfriend, hot and bothered, bare and in pain.

Bucky pants and groan as Vivian continued to insult him from the corner of him room, "Look at you, Bucky! You look fucking pathetic!" She yelled as she angrily pointed her hands towards him.

He turn to his side facing her, and curled his body to manage the raging pain of wanting to stick his cock into something. Vivian was to busy ranting that she couldn't see the fire in Bucky's grilling frown.

"You can't expect me to touch you now especially with your big fucking belly spilling out like that. God, you're sweating like damn dog and you fucking reek!" Her eyes narrowed and her nose wrinkled in disgust before she continued, "And don't get me started with that wretched arm of yours."

That's it. Bucky was not having any of it anymore. He was seconds away from slamming Vivian's face to the wall as his primal alpha needs to aggress were also heighten in his rut.

"Then, get the fuck out of my house, you useless annoying bitch." Bucky growled through his pain.

Vivian was not able to catch a breath as her mouth hang open in shock. Bucky never been that harsh with her but honestly it was about time he did.

"Don't even think of coming back." He warned as she closed the doors behind her.

Unknowingly leaving Bucky's heart bruised and battered.

That was almost a year ago. Bucky gave her the benefit of a doubt as he thought maybe she would change once she find her the love life but apparently she is as vicious as ever.

The tall blonde continue to linger as she asked, "Did you know? About that arm of his?"

Y/N didn't know what she was talking about but she didn't want to entertain this woman, especially when Bucky was clearly uncomfortable with her presence.

Though her silence only lead Vivian to speculate, "Aww, you poor thing, you don't know, do you?" Her mockery was getting worst, "It's fake, honey. He lost his arm many years ago." She flicked Bucky's left arm with long bird-like nails; or claws, that seemed more accurate.

Bucky caught the way Y/N's eyes briefly glanced at his covered arms then his gloved hand. What was she thinking then? Does she think that he was defected? That he is a damaged goods?

He couldn't help to let his mind wonder to the worst case scenarios and to make the unpleasant situation even worse Vivian slightly tugged Bucky's jacket to the side.

Revealing his round and plushy belly, "And fuck did you get bigger?" She sneered as the ruthless insult continue to spill.

"Shut up." Y/N's broken silence caught them off guard.

Vivian scoffed, "What?"

Y/N piercing gaze landed on Vivian's hand still tugging Bucky's jacket. She harshly grabbed her on the wrist, didn't care whether if her nails would dug into the woman's skin.

"I said..." The air felt heavier, only for Y/N to shove more force to it when her voice dropped a few octaves down, "Shut the fuck up before I tear your throat apart."

How dare she insult her alpha, especially when Y/N was right there with him.

"Are sure you want to do that?" Vivian's alpha suddenly stepped in. Even though he clearly was not interested in the matter a few seconds ago.

Y/N took a step forward, "Try me." She dared him.

"I might as well fuck your balls up while I'm at that, huh? Maybe you'll learn a thing or two about subduing your insolent omega."

Oh, she meant what she said; its especially clear when the growling started to peak a presence through her voice.

The taller was bright red, with embrassment and anger, "You're talking to an alpha. Know your place 'mega!" He forced his alpha command on her.

She fought back as much as she could but of course she was forced to submit. When the alpha tried to reach for her, that's when Bucky blocked his way.

Bucky's demeanour completely changed into something different. His meek presence vanished and now turned into a pure and primal rage. Good thing was he contained it quite well so he won't cause a scene but his gaze degrades the one before him.

Though the alpha was slightly taller but Bucky was certainly bigger and being a veteran, of course he'd be stronger. One wrong move, he might get a chance to meet the grim reaper sooner than he'd expect.

It felt as if Bucky was towering over the alpha, as he challenged him to come a step further, "Touch her and you're dead." Bucky let out a deep, murderous growl as he threatened.

The alpha was about to protest but was forced into a frozen state as he look into Bucky's sapphire eyes; there was something ominous about it, something dark and dangerous.

Being overwhelmed by Bucky's strong scent of rage, Vivian quickly pulled her alpha away, "Let's just go... They're not worth it." She coaxed, and the alpha agreed.

Before they leave, she managed to slip a last comment, as she wishes luck to Bucky, "Goodluck keeping this one." She thought she was being sleek when she whispered so quietly but Y/N heard that just fine.

When Y/N snapped out of the alpha command, she grunted, "I'm gonna kill her." What a menancing look in those coffee-stained eyes of hers.

Bucky only softened to her threatening aggressions, "No, you're not " he rubbed his hand to the sides of her arms, trying to calm her down.

Which failed miserably when she replied, "Watch me." She spun around, eyes searching in the crowd, trying to spot a glimpse of the rude couple.

"Hey hey, omega." Bucky quickly catch her before she could walk further, pulling her back to his chest, both of his arms securing her waist, "Calm down. Shhh shhh." Bucky let out a calming rumble from within his chest, coaxing her softly, "Killing is not necessary, sugar."

Despite her tensed body were starting to relax, her mind certainly wasn't, "And why the hell not?" Her small hands gripped onto the fabric of Bucky's jacket on his arms.

"No one deserved to be treated like that." She whispered softly as Bucky continued to kiss the top of her head, mumbling quiet 'I know, doll. I know'

"You don't deserve to be treated like that, Bucky." Her voice shivered despite her efforts to conceal them.

Bucky loosen his grip and turned her to face him. His loving gaze took in every single one of Y/N's sweet features; from her teary eyes to her redden nose and pouty lips.

He wanted to kiss each of them, in hopes of making her feel better. But he doesn't want to take any chances as he had already made a bold move to hug her from behind and kiss her head prior.

Bucky looked down at his dark midnight glove, and Y/N took his lead. Before she could say anything, Bucky started pulling each one off. Revealing his calloused right hand and a shiny black and gold prosthetic on the other.

He can't see her reaction to his vibranium arm, but he imagined the worst. He took in a shaky breath before he spoke, "Alpha is supposed to be perfect. They supposed to be capable. So that they can provide and protect their omega."

He paused as Y/N wrapped took both of his hand in hers but then continued regardless, "And I am far from being perfect or ideal. I lost a limb and gained pounds in return. I can't hide that fact."

"But I swear to god y/n, I never intent on tricking you or using you, in any way." In the end, Vivian's gaslighting effect of Bucky was still stronger as ever.

Why couldn't he see that there was nothing less about him.

"It's pretty." Y/N titled his left hand back and forth, watching the glow on the gold lines reflect the lights of the carnival; each move create random sparkling dots on its smooth surface, it looks like stars.

Bucky didn't understand at first until she looked up at him, with eyes gleaming with mixture of intrigued and infatuation, "It's so pretty, and Bucky..." She reached her hand to his face, gently rubbing her thumb on his stubble jaw, "You're beautiful. All of you." She confessed.

She carefully pulled her hand away from his cheek, and grabbed his left hand with both of hers, allowing it draw near to her lips before she placed a loving kiss on it, "This arm," Then her hands caressed the softness of his tummy, "this body," before they stopped at his chest where his beating heart resides, "this heart. Every single part of you is beyond beauty itself."

Bucky frowned as he find it hard to believe and Y/N knew that, "I mean it, Bucky."

A short chuckle left her lips as a thought run through her mind, "God, you'd be running scared, if you know half of the things I would love to do to you."

Bucky bit back a smile as he let his teeth sink into his bottom lip.

Y/N continued as she held onto his hands, "But, above all Bucky, you are the sweetest man I've met." There was nothing more sincere than her words, "Yeah I know we just met and what not, but if I can see that just in one night, imagine if I get to know more of you tomorrow or the next day and next week?"

Her grip on him grew stronger as she reminded him, "Don't let an impudent omega or anyone even, convice you otherwise."

"Because Bucky, you are as lovable as a person can be." She placed his palm on either side of her cheeks, purring as the sensation on skin felt so right, "And I am absolutely honoured and proud to be standing here with an alpha like you." She smiled like she was the happiest omega on earth.

And Bucky could not control the overwhelming joy within his thundering chest as it bursts with endless fluttering butterflies. He had never felt such comfort, such reassurance in his life, especially after returning home from the army.

Flickers igniting as he leaned in closer and closer until their lips touched, tentively for the first time. The smell of her cotton candy and caramel, so sweet and so soft, it was almost dizzying, but he was more than thrilled to let it consume him.

Y/N briefly parted her lips to let him in and leaned into the kiss, wanting more of the delicious sensation of his lips, his tongue on hers. Bucky wanted nothing more than devour her, memorizing of every single moan that fell into his mouth.

It felt so right; it was exactly was his soul had been yearning for and more.

Breaking the kiss was the reminder to both of them they need air to breath, and Bucky rested his forehead on hers as he took in everything that just happened.

While Y/N found herself completely drunk to the feeling of love within her body and soul, she whispered dearly as she scatters most tender kisses all over Bucky's face, "You're so pretty. So perfect. So... mine."

And that caught Bucky in another spiral of confusion; she could see it in face especially with his sapphire eyes being as wide as they were.

She giggled amusingly before she proposed, "Will you be mine, James Bucky Barnes?"

God, he was supposed to be the alpha here. But what can he say, his omega is quite a special one.

He breathed a relief sigh, "Yes." Leaned in for a quick taste of her lips before asking his a question of his own, "And you're mine?"

Her nose crunched as she booped its tip on his, "Always." She replied. Bucky could feel her smile against his lips and so does she.

Unbeknownst to the happy couple, a few feet away from them was Peggy who was busy clicking her camera away, trying to get the best shot she could out of the couple while Steve was trying hard to hold back his proud sniffles as he stood guard near his omega.

End.

Read my other works here: Masterlist

A/N: Sooooooo what you think? Feel free to give feedback I love reading your thoughts!

#winterarmyyfics #and you're mine au #bucky x reader #bucky x you #bucky barnes au #bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes x you #chubby!bucky #grumpy!bucky #alpha!bucky #alpha!bucky x omega!reader #alpha!bucky x reader #bucky fluff

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averageallogene · 9 months

Text

Tighnari ♡⊹˚ Heated mind (NSFW)

✧˖°. Summary: An Amurta student gets stationed in Gandharva Ville to practice medicine, growing a bond with Tighnari. Becoming quite close, Tighnari finds himself in a predicament that hits him like a truck right around the time his heat starts up.

fem. reader (3rd person) ; plot with concluding smut ; cw for breeding, character in heat.

8k words.

notes. Starting off strong lmao- This idea has literally been stuck in my head for days! I can’t get over the idea of Tighnari in heat. Just. Just. Just. Oh my good lord. No thoughts head empty just Tighnari in heat, needy as well as confused over his ordeal. Enjoy! ✧˖°.

Tighnari considered himself a busy man. The life of a forest watcher was certainly not easy, yet he thought it was all the more fulfilling. Between training the rangers stationed with him and studying the ecosystems of the rainforests of Sumeru, the young researcher never thought over anything else. For quite a while, he was very content.

That was, until he had what, in hindsight, would be a fateful encounter.

Many would pass between Gandharva Ville, including from other lands as well as from within their main city. He was used to dealing with people, being a very educated and overall pleasant person to speak with; in fact, more so when the topic at hand regarded either the ecosystems or anything else biology related. Collei would usually direct curious folk to him so Tighnari would indulge in any questions they might have, as well as, maybe, the occasional request if it was deemed appropriate. It was, for most, a most agreeable arrangement.

It started that way, in fact. An agreeable arrangement. A young woman, an Amurta student from the Akademiya, had been stationed in Gandharva Ville so she could practice the medicine that she’d learned. After all, no doctor could graduate without eventually moving on to the nitty and gritty. It was something most in the branch were nervous about, and the scent in the air upon her first arrival was definitely noticed. Nervousness, but also excitement. The promising student was more than ready to begin her practical studies amidst the forest rangers, and Tighnari saw no reason for denying her a station. After all, it would be most hypocritical of him not to, as a researcher himself.

Besides, perhaps the scolding of an outsider would do well to his rangers. Some were too used to ignoring his (frankly, undeniably justified!) ‘harsh’ reprimands.

She was very pleasant to work with, thankfully. A kind spirit who got along well with most, determination glowing from her very being. Tighnari worried their lifestyle would somehow be incompatible with her own, given the lack of readily available supplies in Gandharva Ville for a nearly graduating doctor, yet he found she would very easily adapt herself.

“Thank you for your concern, wholeheartedly!” She would beam with positive radiance, all the while still holding a twinge of formality in the way she addressed him. Sure, he was technically her senior, but Tighnari wasn’t one to care for such things. “However, I’ll manage. I just wish for you to count on me whenever needed!”

Oh, she was needed alright. The forest rangers were… Clumsy, to be gentle. Airheaded at best, undeniably, stupidly foolish at worst. Tighnari gave them the needed manual for a reason, yet some would find a way to consume something they shouldn’t and it would end in potential disaster being averted, or get injured upon not being careful enough in analyzing the area they were assigned to.

A few were even obtuse enough to run off into the forest and find some time to fool around in ways that were more noticeable than they’d like to think. Tighnari’s ears were as sharp as they could come, and if distance wasn’t the issue, the odors they’d return with sure gave everything away. Ah, and the avoidance of his gaze was surely a telltale sign.

To say the least, disappointment had become something deeply embedded with the job.

“That’s just a part of life.” [F/N] would calmly state, shrugging her shoulders whenever the inexperienced forest rangers were caught in anything less than savory. That had, apparently, become more of a routine between a particular couple than what their master would enjoy. “Curiosity is bound to sprout with any sort of attraction. The important thing is to ensure you’re both safe, lest we want to end up in a compromising predicament mhm?”

“Y-Yes, miss [F/N]...” The embarrassment was palpable amongst the pair, it being amplified with the indifference their stationed doctor displayed. Surely, they thought, they were being judged by a mile away, even as the medicine student gave them the best contraceptive she had readily available before they leaped out of the spot.

“You’re far too lenient.” Tighnari’s voice could be heard as he entered her tent in their stead, catching the smile that blossomed on her face. He on the other hand crossed his arms, a small sigh leaving his lips as he shook his head. “They’re being irresponsible by doing such activities during their shifts!”

“I’m not disagreeing with you, you know…” She laughed softly, getting up before rearranging her small wooden box of emergency medication. Whilst ensuring everything was in its place, she continued to chat with him. “I just believe that tackling the issue with a more open mind will ease our way to the solution. If we shame them, they’ll just continue to try and do it in secret.”

She had to bite her tongue before she elaborated on how the female ranger had tried stealing one of the contraceptives from her small cabinet the day prior. Perhaps it wasn’t the best idea to tell Tighnari, or another scolding would shower down heavier than the rain that would usually pour into the rainforest. Yes, [F/N] thought the more open approach was definitely a better arrangement, even if a fraction of the embarrassment it could be for the couple.

“Besides, it’s a natural part of life. Sex shouldn’t be demonized.”

“Well, with that I agree. I just-”

“Tighnari…” Her soft voice cut him off, though he didn’t quite mind. The Amurta student reached his side before placing an understanding hand on his shoulder, offering him a knowing smile. It certainly was a different dynamic from the one where they’d started off with, but the friendly relationship wasn’t at all unwelcomed. “Don’t worry, they’ll go back to normal soon enough. They’re just… Well, excuse me for a lack of better wording, but- Horny. Give them a few days to explore themselves and the high will soon die down.”

The forest ranger gave her a silent look - one his colorful irises spoke for themselves. One of a silent sigh, yet one that also agreed with her despite being tired of the ordeal. After all, Tighnari cared for their safety, and the mere thought of anyone getting frisky in the open wilderness was… Erhm, well… Conflicting, now that he thought about it.

“Oh, anyway, since you’re here,” Her tone shifted, clear excitement and curiosity peaking through as she turned around and walked across her small tent. His gaze followed her, fluffy ears perking up as his tail swayed. He knew all too well what that tone was reserved for. “I wanted to ask for your thoughts on something. I’m trying to adapt a medicinal brew that’s originally from Liyue, but I can’t quite match this last ingredient with one that may be available in the rainforest… Could you please give me your insight?”

How could he not? The mere spark in her eye was enough to fill his chest with a sense of validation, heart swelling up. Well, that’s what he thought it was, at least. It surely was pleasant to feel respected, as well as sought after for one’s own interpretations. Tighnari couldn’t possibly deny helping such a cause.

Well, in truth, Tighnari couldn’t possibly deny her. That hadn’t occurred to him yet, though. He simply chucked it all to [F/N] being a pleasant company to be around, especially with them having so much in common. Their love of biology and the intricacies of the ecosystems was merely enough to fuel their conversations for hours, lasting way longer than the oil lamps they’d burn to light them well into the night. He found her voice pleasant to listen to, a delight as her tone would shift higher and lower between her curiosity and her contemplation to whatever he had to add to the conversation. The way her eyes would sparkle in such a wondrous way, his reflection staring right back at him as her face would focus solely on him, illuminated by the warm light. His ears would adjust carefully, slowly, shifting ever so slightly so he’d listen to every little syllable she spoke, every little sound she made as his tail wagged slowly, like a trance, unbeknownst to him as well.

For quite a while, Tighnari was in blissful ignorance. He merely basked in her presence as one would delight in the sunlight of a spring’s afternoon, the warmth enveloping his very being as her fragrance engraved into him. The soft undertones of her natural scent became something he’d experience everyday, almost searching for it even without any clear intent, thinking of an interesting enough topic to discuss long after his legs had begun walking. [F/N]’s stay was well deep into several weeks at that point, and Tighnari didn’t even dare to think about her possible absence in the future. He’d found a companion in her, one he really enjoyed spending time with.

A mere friend, he thought.

“I need to return to the Akademiya.” [F/N] had repeated, her tone soft as she gave him a smile smaller than usual. Still, it remained radiant to his eyes despite the sudden clench from within his ribcage.

“Oh?” He cleared his throat, trying to lift his head in a natural manner to gaze at her once more. “How come?”

He suddenly felt his tongue bitter.

“Well, I need to submit the reports I’ve been working on…” She reminded him again, waving gently the stack of papers she carried in her arms. His unfocused face didn’t go unnoticed, prompting her to stare at him with a frown that tugged at his heartstrings in a way he couldn’t quite figure out. “Tighnari… Are you alright? You seem a little-”

“I’m fine, don’t worry about me!” He reassured her, getting up from his chair before rounding up his table. He forced a smile to his face, masking the sudden sadness he felt wash over him. “Have you re-read your papers? Gotta make sure everything is spotless before being submitted.”

A silent plea, please stay a little longer, take a little more time to be close to me. Though, he himself wasn’t fully aware of it, either.

“Yeah, spent the whole night last night reviewing it… I’m a little nervous, even though they’re just reports.” She laughed it off, his belly feeling as though it was suddenly swarmed with butterflies. “It’s not even my final paper and I’m already so stressed! What if I don’t meet the standard?”

“Are you serious?” He scoffed, hands resting on his hips before he offered her a more sincere smile. “[F/N], you’ll do great. I’ve not met a more hardworking student than you in a long time… I wholeheartedly believe in you.”

“Oh… Thank you, Tighnari.” It was her turn to feel butterflies suddenly blooming in her belly, silently praying he wouldn’t listen to the loud pitter patter of her heart.

The two of them remained still for a few seconds, though it felt more like an eternity. His eyes stared into hers, awkwardly shifting as if trying to find the words to speak. Please stay, Let me review the papers before you go?, I think I like you too much to have you leave, were all thoughts racing through his mind, some cutting off amidst the others as he watched her tuck some hair behind her ear. And feeling his gaze on her so intently, the sudden blush forming on her cheeks was inevitable as she finally spoke again.

“W-Well I, I should get going. Sumeru City isn’t far from here, but I can’t afford to be late…” Tighnari’s tail slowly lowered at those words, though his face remained supportive for her. “I’ll try to visit if I don’t get stationed here again. I really enjoyed your company, Tighnari.”

“Likewise.”

Amidst his lovesick thoughts, he couldn’t afford to say more. There was hope bubbling within him, she could get stationed in Gandharva Ville again. His tail raised a little at that, though he still watched as she inevitably left to return to the Akademiya. Most of the other rangers wished her well before she departed, and just like that, life returned to normal.

Her sudden absence was… Unexpectedly uncomfortable. There was a constant sense of dread within Tighnari’s stomach, one that had him wearily gaze around himself as his ears remained perked, twitching, unrested. He himself was unrested. The nights were long, the sounds of the frogs and the river under Gandharva Ville were no longer calming. It all felt suffocating, strangely quiet without the scent of the oil lamps burning besides him and [F/N], without her presence to soothe him. He’d toss and turn around his mattress, hot before feeling cold, hugging his tail close to himself before wanting to do nothing with it, getting a glass of water before trying to lay back down only to remain pacing until the sun rose again… It was getting rather stressful, ridiculous even.

It took him an excruciatingly long time to finally realize what could possibly be the cause of his mood shifts. In fact, the moment when it all clicked in his head was outright ridiculous.

For those oddly unaware, Tighnari is, in fact, a hybrid. A fennec fox hybrid, in specific. This is stated, because it would seem he himself had somehow forgotten about this very important fact for an extended period of weeks. Amidst the companionship [F/N] had provided during her stay, Tighnari had subconsciously dismissed this very important thing about himself that he’d been able to keep in mind for the entirety of his life up to that point. It may seem mostly unimportant to most, but to him, it is something that greatly impacts his lifestyle, as well as a specific decision that many would do brazenly.

The only night he’d somewhat managed to rest due to exhaustion, he found himself suddenly sweating amidst his sleep. He held his pillow tightly as his body turned, groaning quietly to himself as his mind still dozed off between the state of being awake and asleep. His breathing quickened, the guttural sounds he made being muffled as his fangs bit into the fabric of his pillow. He began profusely sweating, his mind running wild as his body shifted itself, rocking with rhythm against his mattress as he sought any sort of release from the sudden tense bubble he felt in his lower area. The pain grew tenfold, coaxing his body to jerk harder into the bed, huffing and nearly drooling as his teeth nearly ripped through the fabric in drunken pleasure. The sensation transformed to something delightful, him experiencing undeniable gratification as his hardening length pressed against whatever he rutted against. His hips shook violently almost, the strands of his hair sticking to his forehead as his temperature increased, chasing the high he sought as his mind graced him with a delightful dream he couldn’t resist.

“[F/N]... [F/N]...” He groaned against his drooled pillow, fangs biting again as he followed with a low groan.

“Ah, T-Tighnari~” He imagined the way [F/N]’s voice would sound in such a lewd scenario, the sighs escaping from her pretty lips enough to leave him begging for more. It all felt excruciatingly real, the pain mixing with the pleasure as he ignorantly fucked the bed instead.

“[F/N]!” He repeated like a sacred mantra, rutting wildly against his mattress before the mere shock of his orgasm spasmed him awake.

His eyes opened wide, panting before registering his teeth were wildly tearing into his only pillow. Letting it go, the ranger breathed heavily, trying to gather himself as his body shivered from the high coming to a halt. His mind still replayed the way her body glistened under his own, her gaze staring at him with an erotic sense of drunken pleasure, mouth gracing him with noises he’d never considered imagining up until that point. Tighnari slowly shifted his hands to support his weight, lifting himself from his bed before realizing the accident on his lower region. His face burst in heat as he pieced everything together, another groan leaving his throat as he slipped his fingers through his hair.

“W… What a mess…” He mumbled, biting his lower lip as he felt the sudden urge to dig himself a hole and hide in it. The clothing stuck to him as his cock throbbed occasionally, clearly not satisfied and wanting more. Shame mixed with desire as he pondered his predicament, weighing in on if he should even attempt to relieve himself or try to ignore the yearning he felt wash over him violently.

Tighnari was in heat. He was careful to track whenever his cycles would come so he could prepare himself, both mentally and physically, but it seemed to have hit him by surprise this particular time. In truth, amidst [F/N]’s company, he hadn’t even remembered it was right around the corner. And with her sudden absence, he suddenly came to a realization this particular time it would be far more challenging to deal with it.

With his hands gripping his hair as he sat there, everything ran a mile inside his head as he finally decided to confront his reality - not only did he desire someone, he wanted someone as his mate. This could very well go terribly bad, for his particular dna demanded him to remain with one partner for his entire life span. Would he be up for it? That answer came rather quickly, surprising even himself. Yes, he was up to it. [F/N] would be a delightful partner, he could feel it within himself. His tail wagged violently at the mere thought, desire and bliss mixing in a dangerous elixir as he felt himself throbbing yet again. Still… Would [F/N] accept him as is? He couldn’t possibly force her or anyone to stay with him, that was out of the question. Not only was it undoubtedly wrong to do so on so many levels, Tighnari was fully aware of the responsibility accepting him came with. He’d have to be with a partner that fully understood that side of him, as well of his needs and the unnegotiable commitment it required.

He could only audibly sigh, staring at his own body as he felt the pain kick back in. Nothing he wasn’t used to, yet the neediness now had a point of focus - something it would be utterly difficult to focus on his job with.

[F/N]’s stay in the Akademiya wasn’t particularly long. She was mostly utterly joyous, for the reports she’d submitted were impeccable. Honestly, she inwardly credited Tighnari for most of her success, for his continuous support and feedback helped her work immensely. His mere existence was the sole reason she nearly begged her superior to return to Gandharva Ville, hoping to remain there as a doctor for a while longer. Sure, she found the other forest rangers lovely as well, but unlike Tighnari, she was well aware of her blooming feelings for the Forest Ranger. In truth, he made her feel like a teenager with a crush, giddy and giggly whenever she thought of him or his big fluffy tail and his pretty ears and his adorable voice and everything else- Suffice to say, [F/N] was ecstatic when it was reported back to her that she indeed had permission to remain stationed there for another fixed period.

The trip wasn’t long before she was back in familiar grounds, the smile on her face thrice as big as the one she had on her first day. She could practically hear her heart jumping out of her chest as she gazed around, silently looking for Tighnari even as his colleagues welcomed her back with open arms. All were happy to have her back, especially some who believed her presence would improve their master ranger’s mood - perhaps, some innocently wondered, she had something that could help him with his problem. Something that was silently acknowledged, but no one dared to even bring up.

“Where’s Tighnari?” She had finally worked up the courage to ask, smile hopeful as another ranger gave her a sheepish one.

“Oh, well… He’s been mostly confined to his own tent. He’s uh… Been going through a rough period.” A male ranger explained to her, lifting his hand upon realizing the sudden panic in her expression. “He’s mostly fine, miss [F/N]. It’s a more uh, intimate matter.”

Her eyes widened as she registered what it could possibly mean, clicking rather quickly in her head. Simply mouthing an ‘oh’, she wondered if it would be appropriate to even visit him in such a state. [F/N] was not ignorant after all, and her vast knowledge in biology was a handy one when it came to fully understanding the intricacies of the body.

Everyone quietly reassured her that he was still able to receive visits, though they were more regulated and spread out so as to not overwhelm him. As everyone gave her the brief rundown though, Tighnari was beyond jittery. He nearly twitched as he squinted his eyes shut, breathing heavily as he attempted to rationalize with his own mind. He could’ve sworn he smelled it, her scent, her lovely smell he’d come to adore, but he feared it was nothing more than his heat clouding his judgment. After all, he’d received no letter warning him of her return, so he’d figured it wasn’t happening. That was, until he heard a very familiar voice, his body jumping in his seat as his eyes stared at the entrance of his tent with pure eagerness.

“Tighnari? It’s me, [F/N]... Is it okay if I come in?”

His tail swayed wildly, his ears twitching as he felt his breath hitch. Doing his very best to keep himself in check, he cleared his throat before putting down the pen he wrote with.

“Of course, come in.” He hummed.

His eyes nearly dilated as he watched her walk in, closing the door behind her. His cheeks flushed with a faint color, eyes betraying his respect as they wandered lower. His state blurred his judgment, filling his mind with thoughts variable to the dreams he’d been receiving almost daily. The fox hybrid nearly salivated as he watched her clothing hug her figure almost sinfully, mentally slapping himself as he offered her a seat wherever she’d like. Watching as she came closer, he stalked her figure as she sat in front of him, her scent invading his mind as he fully embraced it.

“I… Heard about why you’re here.” She spoke with pure sympathy, all the while attempting to reassure him she wasn’t in any way scared or repulsed by his situation. He simply smiled with thankfulness, listening to her every word. “Sorry, I should’ve sent a letter announcing my return. I wanted to surprise you, but had I known it would coincide with your cycle-”

“Please, it’s quite alright.” He shook his head, offering her a look that only filled her with endearment. “I’m very happy to see you again, [F/N]... Although… Are you only visiting, or are you actually coming back to remain stationed here?”

Her smile nearly made him dizzy. “The latter.” She confirmed his question, Tighnari inwardly throwing his hands in the air in both bliss and frustration. Oh, he absolutely adored the idea of her around him, but that meant he’d have to suddenly chuck up the energy to discuss something very important with her.

“Really? That makes me so happy!” He sighed with happiness, wanting nothing more than to hold her close. He watched every little move she made, the way her shoulders tensed, the way her smile grew shier, the way her legs squeezed together as she remained seated in front of him… Unlike before, he no longer had the willpower to deny himself his feelings nor his desires.

“I’m very happy to be back, too.” She confessed, her cheeks gaining an endearing blush. Between shy glances and hidden confessions, Tighnari figured he would simply have to bulldoze through the topic. He couldn’t wait any longer, else he’d burst or regret ever doing something harsh amidst his haze.

“Since you’re here, [F/N]... I’d like to discuss something with you. Do you have some time?”

“Of course. What do you need of me?” She inquired, head tilting slightly as she offered him her ear.

He gulped, his adam’s apple bobbing before he took a deep breath. She watched as he placed his pen to the side, sighing before finally gazing up at her again.

“I wanted to have a serious conversation with you. Don’t worry, you haven’t done anything wrong.”

She laughed softly, his eyes nearly closing as he basked in her giggle. He’d only realized he had just treated her like he’d sometimes treat his own rangers, reassuring them whenever they hadn’t done anything worth receiving a scolding for.

“It’s okay Tighnari, I wasn’t worried. Please do speak your mind.”

“Right, well… It’s regarding these cycles I have.” He began, looking for any sign of discomfort as he spoke. He saw absolutely none, as well as no surprise on her face. She was calm, cool, collected, as well as supportive to listen to whatever he had to say. His heart jumped, mind racing as he wondered what the climax of this conversation would be. “Although your presence is very much welcomed and enjoyed, you’ve left just as my, erhm… Heat began, and returned right at the height of it.”

“O-Oh.” She hummed, a blush spreading across her face as she urged him to continue.

“During your absence…” He dragged out, before finally taking a deep breath and deciding to just lay all his cards on the table. “It’s been hell, I can’t lie. I’ve been prepared my whole life to deal with these cycles each time I don’t find a mate, but I can’t deny the bubbling feelings I’ve grown for you. At this point they’re not even feelings of a small crush, they’ve developed into full blown adoration. The issue is, as I’m sure you’re aware, I’m part fennec fox.”

Nevermind the utter leap her heart was doing, [F/N] was fully listening in to him. Despite the fireworks going off in her head for knowing her love was returned, she was still concerned for his predicament. She could only wonder how uncomfortable it had been for him, especially when knowing she was the root cause of this particular cycle.

“While most hybrids don’t have to think of this particular deal with much seriousness, me on the other hand, have to consider that-”

“Fennec foxes mate for life.” She finished the sentence for him, a sheepish smile gracing her pretty face as she felt her thighs squish together. Her heart raced inside her chest, eyeing him directly as she remained as calm as she could. She could feel his stare glue on her, looking for any sign of disapproval before he’d continue.

“Yes…” He hummed, clearing his throat before looking at her again. “Well… I fully understand that this can be a dealbreaker though, so-”

“I love you too, Tighnari.” It was her turn to be blunt, her eyes finally unmasking the pure adoration she’d held for him during the whole time. They glistened with a spark he couldn’t quite place, catching him off guard before he found the strength to finally respond back.

“A-Are you certain?” He mumbled, causing her to giggle softly. His ears twitched to whatever sound she’d bless him with, tail wagging in a livelier manner as her eyes followed with endearment. “Don’t get me wrong, that… That makes me happier than what I can even describe, but I can’t stress enough how this is a huge commitment. Once I have confirmation, there will be a switch flipped in my brain to instantly consider you as my partner, forever.”

“I fully understand that, Tighnari.” She reassured him, nodding her head as if to further confirm it to him. “I wouldn’t allow myself to fall in love with you if I wasn’t ready to commit. I know how important this is to you, but I am ready. For everything.”

The last statement was, by itself, enough to flip his switch. [F/N] watched as his eyes dilated, slowly getting up from his chair before rounding up his table. Following suit she got up as well, ready to welcome him as she watched him visibly struggle to remain cordial despite what she could only assume were urges bubbling deep within his being. Unbeknownst to her however, the hair at the back of his neck stood, his movements growing slower as he approached who his mind now suffocatingly told him was his lover, his mate. She offered him a loving smile, accepting him with open arms as he hesitantly placed his hands on her hips, noting how they were… Wide. How she was breedable. His mind was running foggy, he had to control himself for a little longer.

“I… I’m sorry if I’m moving a little fast, [F/N].” He confessed, his eyebrows furrowing as his tone nearly turned into a whine. He jolted slightly upon feeling her hands resting against his chest, her voice humming in understanding.

“It’s okay Tighnari, I understand. Like I said… I’m ready for anything.” Her hand lifted to stroke his cheek, his knees nearly giving out as his grip against her waist grew stronger. It was her turn to gasp lightly, though remaining with a confident and loving smile. He watched as she bit her lower lip, his mind groaning over how he wished to bite it instead. “I want you to know I’m willing to do whatever you need done. Will you just… Please guide me through it beforehand?”

He frantically nodded his head, the black of his pupils nearly drowning the color of his eyes as he pulled her closer to himself. Her frame felt perfect against him, her fingers stroking against his cheek still as if enticing him to move forward. With a quiet promise to explain everything to her before anything was done, Tighnari sealed it with a kiss, nearly suffocating himself in the process as he drowned in love and lust. His lips felt hot against her own, a sigh of bliss leaving her as he took the lead, experimenting as his mind lost focus. Wanting to taste more of her, his tongue peeked through, carefully carving out her lips before parting them, seeking her very own as they began to waltz together. At first slow, it rapidly grew more frantic, his hands lowering as he encaged her against himself, his own muffled groans in sync with her quiet whimpers before hearing her babble his name almost incomprehensibly.

“Tigh… Mhm, Tighnahhh….ri…” She moaned softly, his ears shooting straight up as he finally leaned back, letting her breathe. Never minding the saliva on the corner of his mouth, he eyed her eagerly, listening to her attentively. “M-Maybe not here?...”

He was blushing furiously, already feeling excited under his pants. “R-Right, I’m sorry.” He practically groaned, his hands never roaming too far from her hips before he leaned closer, kissing the corner of her lips repeatedly and with fervor. “I’ll explain everything once… Think you can keep up?”

“Mhm…” She nodded her head, taking up his challenge as his lips continued attacking her mouth with desire. And amidst fleeting kisses and licks, he explained everything that would need to be done, seeking approval and consent before it quickly became dark.

Her mind ran wild, heart nearly bursting out of her chest as she prepared for what was to come. After everyone had gone to rest, the two of them made haste deep into the forest, hands holding together as he guided her through. Despite knowing exactly how the ordeal was done, Tighnari himself had never done anything of the sort, only further fueling his eagerness to finally release this side of himself with the one he chose. Such was very clear with the way he held [F/N] close, murmuring to her the repeated plan whilst ensuring her he’d be as gentle as he could.

“Not scared of the dark, are you?” He pressed his chest against her back, bringing them both to a stop as his lips brushed against the crook of her neck. Against his hold her figure tensed, an excited grin on her face as she stroked his hands.

“No, don’t worry. With you it’ll be fine.” [F/N] hummed in response, shivering upon feeling his teeth brush against her exposed skin.

Tighnari was nearly trembling, though he bit himself back. He was close to finally getting what he needed, he only needed to hold on a little longer. His animalistic urges were bubbling from within at the mere thought of how it would all go down, it being the only reason he managed to finally release her from his embrace.

“Alright, dear. I’m giving you a minute to run ahead.” He explained, a cheeky tone hidden underneath the husky voice he spoke with. [F/N] turned around to gaze at him one last time before she were to follow through. “Be sure to not get hurt… One… Two… Three…”

Her eyes widened upon realizing he’d already begun counting. With a brief smile [F/N] ran, her panting being listened to even as she disappeared into the night. Tighnari couldn’t help the smile from forming on his face, his voice still echoing through the forest as he continued to count the time. His ears were straight up, twitching at any little sound he heard as he felt his heart racing. As he was coming close to finally counting down the minute, he could feel his mouth nearly salivating, the scent of her arousal reaching his nose.

“And sixty… Alright alright my love, here I come~” He practically sang, moving slowly at first as if he stalked the area for any sounds.

[F/N] could hear him approaching, biting her lip as she smiled for herself. She couldn’t deny just how excited she was, even if the ordeal hadn’t exactly been one she’d thought she’d find herself in. Honestly, that was all the more reason for her to feel eager for him. Still… She couldn’t cop out and make it end quicker. Despite being selfish with her own desires, she still understood the assignment of ensuring his needs were also met, even if such needs included a chase that led them into a small cave.

It lasted for a little longer than what [F/N] could’ve ever predicted. Honestly, she inwardly gave herself a pat on the back, being able to evade Tighnari for far longer than what she would've ever thought possible. Sure, it might’ve been easy for a fox hybrid like himself, but it was still a feat for someone as inexperienced in such a thing as herself. It was a little difficult to navigate the forest in the dark, her pace slowing down as she realized she was close to their final destination. Her hands moved to slightly loosen her own clothing, a small step to aid in the near future as they finally rendezvous on their little den.

“Eager, are we?” [F/N]’s voice let out a sudden yelp, arms snaking around her as Tighnari had suddenly jumped from the shadows. His face nuzzled against her shoulder as he aided her in loosening her clothing further, the grin being practically felt against her skin as he peppered her with hungry kisses. “You did so well, love… I’m actually impressed.”

“And I’ll only get better… Next time around.” She huffed whilst trying to suppress her sighs of pleasure, feeling his hands roam against her figure as he shivered against her hold. Tighnari only hummed in approval, agreeing with her before turning her to face him.

“Of course. But for tonight, seems like I’ve successfully caught you…” He breathed out, clashing his lips against her own as they ruffled against one another. He could practically feel her smile against his lips, heart swelling as he inwardly praised the skies for such an understanding partner for his needs.

“Mhm… You have…” She mumbled, her own hands sneaking up on him to help him loosen his own outfit as well. “I’m all yours, dear. Why don’t you claim your prize for however long you wish, ‘Nari?”

He shivered in such a delightful way, she herself could feel it against her hold. It was dirty, the way she made it seem so… Primal. Yet it only fueled his fire more, his urges boiling to the surface before he dragged her off to the little den they’d painstakingly prepared beforehand.

“You’re so good for me… So good. Thank you.” His whines were honestly sickeningly sweet, a stark contrast from what [F/N] had thought he’d behave like. It was as though the normally level-headed Tighnari still wished to voice his thankfulness one final time before succumbing for the time being, wanting her to know just how much he appreciated her.

“Anything for my ‘Nari…” She mumbled back, feeling as the cool air hit her bare skin.

He felt himself drooling, tongue slithering across her neck before going down her bare skin. The makeshift blanket with their pile of clothes served as a base for them to lie down, carefully trapping his lover against his hold before he pressed himself against her. [F/N] could feel his body hot, sweating against her own as her fingers stroked through his dark locks, sighing in lust as she felt his fangs experimentally bite her collarbone.

“I can smell just how aroused you are…” He pointed out, licking his lips devilishly upon feeling her thighs squeeze shut. His hand lowered before gently prying them open, his body shifting downwards as he left a trail of kisses against her skin. “Don’t hide from me, love. Not only is it useless to… I could just- Get drunk off your scent.”

[F/N] shivered as glanced down at him, the lack of light only adding an extra layer of eagerness for the whole situation. Her other senses were heightened with the lack of light, jumping at every little touch he offered her as his eyes practically glowed back at her.

“Tigh… Tighnari…” She moaned quietly, still a little reserved, feeling his lips reach her inner thigh as his fingers carefully worked to fully undress her lower region. “I-It’s embarrassing~”

“Nonsense, you’re absolutely divine.” He hummed in delight, his eyes leaving her face to fully focus on her now exposed pussy. By that point he licked his lips in preparation, his hands firmly holding each thigh as he prepared himself to fully dive in.

Like a starved man, Tighnari was quick to jump in and stop any possible questions his lover could have. Even though [F/N] was already naturally aroused by their situation, the idea of tasting her juices was enough to have him leaping for it, ignoring his own lust as he drowned himself in what he quickly came to realize was the best taste he’d ever tried. His tongue moved feverishly, but not without care for every corner of her pussy as his grasp against her squishy skin tightened. His ears remained straight as he listened to the delectable moans she provided for him, strings of praises mixed with incomprehensible babbles leaving her lips as her back arched naturally with the pleasure he provided. Tighnari could quite possibly come undone then and there were he not to stop rutting himself against the floor, his hardened bulge painfully reminding him that he needed some attention to. His tongue swirled upwards to her clit, paying extra attention as he both kissed and nibbled on it, as if the researcher experimented on any little reaction his dearest provided him.

“N.. Agh… ‘Nari! That feels so good,” she heaved amidst moans, one hand lowering before grabbing a hold of his hair, careful as to not tug too hard. It was his turn to groan, a guttural sound that vibrated against her needy hole, leaking in neediness of him as it only further enticed him for more.

“More, I need more,” he huffed against her pussy, licking up any juices she offered him as if it were divine nectar he’d been blessed with.

Even against his hold, her thighs squished around his head, trapping him into a situation he couldn’t possibly complain about. His nails dug slightly into her skin, [F/N] swearing she could hear her lover growl under his breath in what she could only assume was pleasure from the ordeal. Having never considered Tighnari would actually become pussydrunk, it was a pleasant surprise to say the least.

“You’re so wet, so so wet my lovely [F/N]...” He purred, all the while still giving all his attention to her pussy, an experimental pump of two fingers enticing a louder moan that had the hairs at the back of his neck stand. He couldn’t wait himself, the sensation of her tight hole around his throbbing cock would absolutely derail him, he just knew it. The way her tight walls sucked his fingers in desperation was enough to have him shivering, pumping them deeper as he listened to her finally whining out her request.

“‘Nari… I can’t wait any longer!” His [F/N] moaned, pulling his head up by his hairs to watch his glowing eyes land straight to her blushing face. His expression darkening with desire, he slowly lifted himself up, her juices staining the lower part of his face as he licked his fingers clean.

“Is that so? Then tell me, what exactly do you want to interrupt me in such a way.” He hummed, tail wagging as if expecting a final confirmation before the prize was finally claimed.

With her arms wrapping around his shoulders, she pulled him close, eyes pleading by themselves before she whined. “Please Tighnari, fuck me real good. I want you to fill me up, to breed me!”

Although it was the dead of night, his eyes widened, the fox hybrid nearly choking on his spit as he was evidently caught off guard. Not exactly expecting her to use such filthy language, Tighnari quickly removed his undergarments before finally freeing his cock, pumping it eagerly while [F/N] spread her legs nice and wide for him.

“You’re such a dirty girl… But I ‘spose I should reward you for being so honest with me.”

“Mhm, please?” She pleaded, a groan leaving his throat before his lips latched onto her own.

With both in position, Tighnari aligned himself before finally pushing his tip in, his eyes closing shut as he lowly moaned against her neck. Her tight walls sucked him in, welcoming his throbbing cock with open arms as if begging for him to fuck her into his shape. He felt her legs locking around his hips, her body jolting under him as her nails clawed at his back slightly.

“S-Shit… You’re so tight.” He sighed out, sharp teeth brushing against her still unmarked skin. His free hand roamed up, fingers slithering across one of her breasts before latching onto it. “So good, baby. You feel so good, taking me in nice and easy.”

“‘Nari, you’re so big…” She yelped, her walls stretching to accommodate him as her natural arousal coated his cock. The slight pain would periodically subside as he attempted to not wildly thrust into her, his hips battling against his brain as he gave her a moment to adjust to his sudden insertion.

His lips lowered to her chest, a trail of kisses leading up to her tit before his mouth latched onto her nipple. Sucking while gently nibbling on it, Tighnari began to slowly thrust, attempting to focus himself on maintaining a steady rhythm before he’d lose control. The way her velvety walls wrapped around him so nicely had him seeing stars, the high clouding his vision as he groaned in a sinful manner that only further helped arouse [F/N].

“Harder, Tighnari… Please, please fuck me harder!” She moaned, pleading with him as she held him tighter.

His grasp on her tightened, finally letting himself go as his hips rolled quicker, faster, harder. This had his mate moan his name out like a sacred prayer, their lewd sounds echoing around them as his cock became coated with their own desire. Tighnari bit and nibbled all over her chest, moaning how good she felt around him all the while, how she was his, how much he loved her. His teeth left many love bites around her skin, the researcher grinning to himself whenever he felt her hole clench a little tighter around him with each hickey.

“I’m going to fill you up, love. You just wait, you’ll be so full of my cum, so full of it, oh I can’t wait…” He lifted his head before lunging at her lips, swallowing her moans as the tears pricked the corners of her eyes.

[F/N] could swear she was seeing white, eyes rolling back as his tongue rubbed against her own, his dick being able to reach deeper and deeper and hitting all the right spots. Her grasp on him weapened, jolting at every time Tighnari thrusted forward before nearly emptying her pussy and ramming back in. It was so sinful, so lustful, so good. He fucked so good, she couldn’t even stop the babbling moans from leaving her throat as he fucked her tongue with his own. His pace increased, yet Tighnari held on, cock throbbing but still not quite close to cumming, saving all of his load to coat her insides in sticky ropes of white and claiming her for the first time of the night.

“You want that don’t you? For me to breed you nice and good?” He lifted his head, the string of saliva falling down and sticking to her jawline as she moaned in response, his grin never leaving his face as he continued to fuck her faster. “You’ll be a wonderful mom, oh I’m sure of it, I’ll make sure by tomorrow you’re stuffed full of cum that you’ll surely be pregnant with my pups.”

“Mhm, Tighnari!” [F/N] cried out, trying to pull him back to kiss him more, instead only receiving kitten licks across her lips as his hips continued to thrust into her aching hole.

“I can’t wait… I can’t wait, fuck [F/N], you’ll look so pretty once I fill you up.” Tighnari’s hand lowered to rest on top of her belly, his heart racing as he thought of his beloved fully bred. His back shivered at the image, his pre already mixing with her juices as he imagined her pretty hole filled to the brim.

“Ah, ‘Nari, you feel so good~ I’m so close, ahnn~”

“Are you cumming love? Then do it, right around my cock, do it, I want to fuck you through your first release.”

Tighnari watched attentively, focusing for a sole moment as her face twisted, lips parting as her pussy clenched around him one final time. His ears were graced with the most delightful of moans, hole spasming around him wildly as it all threatened to overwhelm his own high. He groaned in response, hips still thrusting through it as he engraved her expression in his mind. She looked so fucked out, and yet one single round wouldn’t satisfy him in the slightest.

“You look, so, gorgeous,” He breathed out quickly, finally latching onto her lips once more as his own pace grew wild and unpredictable. His arms rested against the ground, holding himself up as he pressed harder against her sweating body, grinding against her as he chased his own high against her now overstimulated pussy.

“Ah, Tighnari, that’s-!” [F/N] moaned loudly, arch backing deliciously against himself as her tits squished against his chest. His teeth nibbled on her puffy lower lip, growling as he felt his cock throbbing harder, signaling he was close.

“I’m going to cum, [F/N], here comes your first prize for being such a good girl,” He huffed, grinning wildly before he moaned her name lowly, one final thrust into her abused hole kissing her on her deepest part before finally dumping his fat load deep into her.

Nails digging into his back, she moaned in pure bliss, body trembling at the mere sensation of her pussy being utterly filled to the brim. To her surprise, Tighnari continued to pump into her, fucking her through his own release as his cum coated every single corner of her hole until there was no space left. He felt his head lower against her neck before finally breathing heavily, slowly pulling out before lifting himself up to watch the scene before him.

With hearts in her eyes, [F/N] eyed him with a blissful expression, arms extended out to him as if whining for him to come back to her arms. Her legs remained apart, his cum now leaking from her as her hole protested the sudden disappearance of his dick. Her chest was sprinkled with love bites, body glistening and sweating as her hair was disheveled from their first round of many.

“N…. Ah.. ‘Nari?” She whispered, face blushing upon gazing how he stroked himself, pumping his hardening dick vigorously as he savored the view. She felt her mouth go dry, the sudden wonder of how his cock would feel fucking her throat running through her mind. “A-Ah~”

“No wasting any seed, now…” He purred, fingers sliding easily back inside her hole before fingering his cum back into her pussy. The sound their mess made was quickly becoming one of his favorites, still rubbing himself while he studied over how sensitive she was. “This won’t do… A single round won’t be enough to ensure you’re well bred, don’t you think baby?”

“H-Huh?” She blushed furiously, feeling his weight press against her once more, aligning against her entrance yet again as his dark gaze landed right on her.

“One more time, love… One more, can you take it? Please?” He outright pleaded, promising it would only be one more, just to ensure.

It never was just one more time, Tighnari fucking her well into the sunrise, more and more addicted to how she felt around him, as well as the image of her every hole leaking his seed.

#genshin smut #genshin impact smut #genshin impact tighnari x reader #tighnari x reader #genshin x reader #yoko drabbles

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darklordofthesimp · 1 year

Text

Anything III (König x Reader)

Summary: A lack of information from the chain of command results in König mistaking you for an enemy sniper.

Requested by: Literally fucking everyone.

A/N: I was really fighting for my life with this chapter y'all. It's more to set up for the next coming chapters.

Category: Angst || Hurt/Comfort || Forced Proximity || Enemies to ?

Warnings: Graphic language, graphic description of PTSD, graphic violence, graphic description of gun violence, graphic description of injury.

PREVIOUS CHAPTER

"That fucker needs to go."

"He's not going anywhere, Simon."

The Lieutenant spun on his heel, reeling on Price with startling speed. He didn’t budge, though. Not when Ghost stopped only inches away and not when a finger rested on his chest- a warning. A threat.

“Birdy’s my responsibility,” his voice was dangerously low and the Captain’s eyes narrowed.

“And you’re all my responsibility,” Price’s words were slow and enunciated, spoken through gritted teeth. The heat rolling off his body was tangible, he was fucking furious. He was torn. “You think this was my fucking idea? I get orders from up top just like you do, Riley. They got their own plans in mind.”

Ghost inhaled sharply, dropping his hand to his side. Up top. If the rank has been anything, it’s been consistently shit.

“When someone tears their own fuckin’ face-off, the plan needs to change,” Simon murmured, the images of the incident drifting across his vision. The man was no stranger to intrusive thoughts but these were particularly vivid, they splattered across the carefully cleaned plains of his mind- taunting him.

“I know.” Price lit a cigar, his gaze trailing across the rooftops. “Been working on it.”

“And?”

“Baby steps, Simon. Baby steps.”

_________

Inhale, exhale. Again.

Bang

Then again.

Bang

And again.

Bang

One, two, three, the hole never widened; not even by a millimetre. The target stood strong and unwavering, and you were doused in hot anger. You’d selected the biggest one you could find, it wasn’t as tall as you wanted, but you supposed the chances of finding a nearly seven foot soldier on the battlefield were slim.

You were grateful that the one thing that hadn’t changed over the recent horrors of your life, was your aim. You were still a sniper.

Bang

You were still the best.

“We got another unit comin’ in for their assessments, Birdy.” The range supervisor’s voice was loud over the speaker and you forced yourself not to jump. “You gotta clear out or pick another lane, mate.”

Your eyes trailed over the aisles beside you. The rear of their booths were all open, designed for trainees to have an instructor standing over them. Those days of needing direction were over, as were the days of leaving your back vulnerable.

The lane you had chosen was at the very end of the range, a locked booth designed for soldier’s shooting assessments. It was a bi-annual event, where your marksmanship was tested in order to deem you competent and qualified. No instructor, no target indications, just you in a locked booth with a rifle and a target.

Now, it was the only place you felt safe enough to shoot.

You heaved your body up, clearing your weapon before slinging it over your shoulder. It seemed that your time was up.

As you stepped out of your haven and into the aisle, you tried to settle the anxiety in your chest. It was a burdensome feeling that only faded when you were looking down the sight of your rifle, plaguing your every move and every thought. It was all-consuming.

A shot rang a few lanes ahead and you flicked your gaze up to the screen as you walked. They were half a centimetre or so off from the central aiming mark but the next shot was dead on. You snorted.

As you moved to pass, you spared a curious glance at the shooter.

Your body locked up.

Right in front of you, lying on his stomach with those long legs sprawled out, was König.

You seethed. You were suddenly overcome by a rage that, for once, did not wash over you with a flush of heat. Instead, you were cold. Ice trickled the length of your spine and your fingers went numb, pins and needles pricking at your nails.

Your face stung at the sight of him.

He was the reason you couldn’t look at yourself in the mirror anymore, he was the reason you looked like a fucking abomination. Your face was deformed and mutilated and here this fucker lay, his back turned to the world because he was not the one that got destroyed.

König ruined you and got away unscathed.

You waited for him to take another shot, using the cover of the resounding gunfire to put down your rifle. He had no idea that you were there, he was entirely unsuspecting. He was vulnerable.

Before you could comprehend what you were doing, your body had moved to stand over his prone figure. You could hear his breathing, see the rise and fall of his chest.

In, bang, out.

They had chosen this fucking imbecile to replace you? He couldn’t even breathe right, everything was wrong. His form was wrong, his breathing pattern was wrong, his shooting was wrong, and he was not built to be a sniper. He was built to destroy with his hands, with no finesse, no pinpoint accuracy- just a bludgeon.

There was no honour in what König was.

Again, your face stung beneath the gauze. A reminder. Encouragement.

You reached for the Glock strapped to your belt, cold sweat trickling down your neck. König took a breath in and you flicked open the buckle. But he didn’t take a shot as you had predicted, and he’d heard the noise from above him.

When König turned, you let him see you, just as he’d given you that mercy.

Then you struck.

Unlike before, König hadn’t been given the chance to kick the weapon from your hands before you descended upon him. A startled rasp ripped from his mouth as you dropped onto his body, bringing the butt of your firearm to strike his temple.

His head knocked back, bouncing off the mat beneath him.

How merciful, that it was not concrete? How gracious, that you didn’t grab his head and crush it?

König groaned, his hands flying up to defend himself, stunned by the sudden impact. You knew that his vision would be spinning, a loud buzz ringing in his ears. You knew too well.

But it wasn’t enough.

You pushed his hands away, bringing the gun down again. You felt his skin render from beneath the metal, a wet thud echoing through the booth as you split the skin of his cheek. The blood made your eyes widen. It wasn’t enough.

You would give him your scars. You would peel his skin from his bone. You would shatter him until he was unrecognisable.

This wasn’t enough.

König’s eyes flickered open, hard and betrayed.

You knew that the element of surprise had run out, but you were not finished. You’d just gotten started, the purple of his cheek and the red dripping down his temple only marked the beginning. But you couldn’t overpower the man below you.

When his hands gripped your biceps and he opened his mouth to yell, you pushed the barrel of your handgun past his lips until his teeth scraped the steel.

Everything fell still, his hands frozen on your body and his eyes wide. You hoped that he could taste the gunpowder, you hoped that he could taste his death. The sound of the safety flicking off resounded in the booth and the man beneath you flinched.

His fingers shook against your skin, his breath rattling in his chest.

König was afraid.

And at that realization, for the first time in over a year, a genuine smile twisted your lips. The soldier’s eyes widened, his body twitching beneath yours, groaning around the barrel in his mouth.

“How do you like it?” You whispered, the words a snarl as you leaned down close.

König’s emerald gaze was steady on yours and you could visibly see him attempt to calm his breathing. In, out, in, out. He was breathing wrong, everything was still just wrong, wrong, wrong. You pressed harder on the gun.

This wasn’t enough.

He wasn’t bruised enough, he wasn’t bleeding enough. You moved your left hand to cup his cheek and his eyes flickered. König wanted to buck you off, he wanted to disable you, maybe he even wanted to murder you. You hoped he did, you wanted to see the same hatred in his eyes that you saw that damned fucking night.

You wanted him to look into your soul and know that you were going to ruin him.

That you were going to kill him.

“You feel guilty?” You hissed, your fingers slowly digging into the skin of his cheek. “You feel bad for what you did?”

König’s eyes softened.

Don’t want your pity.

Kill him. Kill him. Kill him.

Finally, he hummed his affirmation around the barrel in his mouth. Your nails dug into the flesh of his face, dragging a jagged scratch inch by inch across his features. The man didn’t flinch, he didn’t move, and he didn’t make a sound- he only watched you.

When you leaned in to brush your lips against his ear, he knew what was coming.

Satisfaction flooded your senses, righteous anger gripping you by the throat and forcing the words that you’ve wanted to say for so long from your lips.

“Your fight is finished.”

König took in a sharp breath.

You pulled the trigger.

The sound was deafening and for a sweet, beautiful moment, you felt vindication. You’d won. You’d bested him. The man that had ruined your life had gotten what he deserved and he needed to die, die, die. That was the only thing that would settle his debt, the only thing that would serve the justice you felt owed.

With the simplest pull of the trigger, you had been avenged.

Then, you realised that the blood that had sprayed aross the space between your bodies wasn’t his. It was yours.

König was on top of you. The gun was gone, his mask was on, and your face was crushed. You couldn’t breathe you couldn’t think and the only thing you could feel was the searing pain of the knife twisting in your chest.

No, no, no, no.

This was wrong, this wasn’t what was meant to happen. Why were you back here? His hand was on your face before you could protest and you felt your head lift from the ground.

“Even in victory, you are nothing.”

Crack

“You will always be nothing.”

Crack

You were screaming, you could hear yourself doing it but your mouth wasn’t moving. Your teeth were caved in, your jaw had collapsed, you felt as though your face had melted from the bone. Yet you could hear the shrieks, hear the wailing.

The back of your head was wet, your skull felt like it was falling apart at the seams. The breeze tickled against your brain and your nerves were on fire.

You were broken, broken, broken.

“Birdy!”

This time you could feel every crack of your head into the concrete. This time you felt your brain matter smear across the floor.

“Wake up!”

Wake up.

You sat up with the gasp of someone who’d been drowning, clawing at your throat for air. Sweat trickled down your spine, the room was hot and the blankets were tangled between your legs but you were in your bedroom- you recognised it instantly.

“That’s it, sweetheart,” a rough voice murmured from beside you. There was a hand pressed flat against your chest, firm and grounding. “Breathe.”

“Simon,” you sobbed. The man hummed in response, his other hand rubbing your back with enough force to rock your body. He was trying to keep you rooted in reality, give you something physical, something tangible to hold on to.

“I’m losing my mind,” you gasped, your chest caving at the realisation. You didn’t know what was real or not, fact or fiction, tangible or imaginary- you lived on a plain of uncertainty. You were lost, you were broken and you were unreliable.

Price was right. You had become a liability.

“You’re late to the party,” Simon loosed a soft chuckle, pulling you close against his body. “I lost mine years ago, kid.”

You relished in his touch as you tried to regroup. You were in your room, you were in your bed, it was the middle of the night and you’d had a nightmare. Your clothes were soaked, sticking to your skin uncomfortably; and you had the horrid realization that maybe it wasn’t all sweat. You sucked in a breath, scrambling to push the blankets from your body.

“What-”

You ignored anything that the Lieutenant might of said, scrubbing your hands over your limbs, neck and face. The sweat threw you off and you checked your fingers in the dim light for crimson stains. You couldn’t deal with it again, you couldn’t cope with more damage. You were already disgusting, you were already mutilated and scarred. Unloveable, untouchable, irreparable, irevevocable, irremediable-

No more, no more, no more no more no more-

Simon gripped your hands, tugging them towards his chest and jerking your body forward. You dragged in a sharp breath, eyes wide and frantic.

“You didn’t hurt yourself,” the words were urgent and low, his gaze holding you still just as well as his grip. “You’re alright, Birdy.”

You took in a rattling breath and his grip tightened.

“You’re alright, kid,” Simon reinforced, that ocean gaze compelling you to calm your heart rate. He left no room for discussion with the way that he looked at you, there was no option to disobey. You pushed air into your lungs, following the pattern he’d set for you. “It was just a nightmare.”

You frowned. “Only at the very end.”

Not when you had been shooting, not when you’d been atop of your enemy with a gun in his mouth; that was not the nightmare. You’d felt vindicated, you’d felt insane but satisfied. During those moments in the dream, you were not afraid of König. You were not shaking, you were not whimpering or begging for your life.

You were strong.

Stronger than him.

“How’d you know I was–” You cleared your throat. “How’d you get in here?”

The silence that followed had you on edge, as Simon’s hand worked methodically across your back. He didn’t answer for a long while and your thoughts began to sober. Why was he in your room? How had he gotten there? How did he know you were having a night terror? His quarters were nowhere near yours, he was in the hallway over, divided by thick concrete walls; he most definitely couldn’t have heard your screams.

“Someone tipped me off,” the words were spoken through clenched teeth and his minsitrations against your back faltered. Your chest tightened at the implication. “They thought I’d be better suited to come help you.”

“How-”

“He’s down the hall, Birdy.” Simon interrupted and you could feel his fingers curl into a fist against your spine. “Everyone in this fuckin’ corridor could hear you.”

Your breathing began to pick up and heat flushed against your skin, the blood boiling from beneath the surface.

“That doesn’t explain how you got in,” you rasped, gripping the blankets at your side. You needed to ground yourself, you needed to be calm.

“He thought you were being attacked or somethin’ with the way you were yellin’,” Simon sighed. It wasn’t a direct answer but it was a good enough indication as to what had happened.

You let your gaze drift to the door, sucking in a sharp breath at the sight before you. The hinges had been ripped from the wall, the frame torn straight from the brick. The door itself was missing completely, and as you slowly leaned over to get a look at the floor, your heart dropped to your stomach.

Your bedroom door lay in pieces, the splintered remnants splayed across the floor like shattered glass.

NEXT CHAPTER

7K notes · View notes

vminizzle · 8 months

Text

Sweet lips

pairing : fuckboy!jungkook x shy nerd!f.reader

genre : SMUT, FLUFF, angst

warnings : CRINGE ASF, soft dom!jk, sub!reader, shy!reader, tattooed!jk, biker!jk, flirting, possessiveness, jealousy, pet names, teasing, making out, biting, marking, praising, corruption kink, masturbation, fingering, cybersex, sexting, penetration, unprotected sex, creampie, riding (first time), missionary, college party party yea, mention of consuming alcohol, mention of smoking, tipsy!jk, mention of throwing up, mention of period cramps

words count : 13k

A/N : Hi lovely people, I hope you've been doing good. Well, I'm finally posting. I took so much time but I had to do my best to make this as good as possible. I tried my best with that, I wish It will be good. I really wanted to add more but I wanted to post asap,, I couldn't wait anymore so yup. You ain't ready :) Enjoy. REMINDER : poor English,, I wanna apologise in advance like you guys already know English is not my first language so please don't mind the mistake. Love you guys <;3 - sunny

you can part 1 HERE

FEEDBACKS ARE WELCOMED 🥀

M RATED

You sighed loudly as you sat on the passenger seat making Jimin looked over at you.

“What is it?” he asked making you shake your head.

“I repeat my question. What is it?”

“Nothing.” you said looking outside.

“It’s that Jungkook dude, right?” you gulped denying again.

“Oh c’mon, after seeing him you were literally lost. You weren’t focused on the movie. Usually when I’m ogling over my favorite actor you would glare at me with a disgusted face and make fun of me, but tonight, you just nodded silently and kept on sighing. What happened? Did he say something that ruined your mood? Tell me.”

Jimin said putting his hand on yours gently.

“No no no, not at all. He didn’t do anything.”

“You were with him earlier, before I came to pick you up, weren’t you?” he stared at you, already knowing the answer.

“hm, no?” you pursed your lips, still looking outside.

“Oh c’mon bro! You really thought I wouldn’t notice that big ass hickey on your neck? That man literally devoured your throat.”

“Jimin!” you gasped, finally facing him making the man huffed.

“I already told you to stay away from him.” you looked down to your lap defeated.

You were about to speak when you noticed a group of friends exiting the cinema, they were saying their goodbyes as they parted away.

You easily spotted him-

“bruh, isn’t that mister muscle?”

You heard Jimin said making you gulp.

“wait for me.” he said calmly as he open his car door.

“Jimin! Stop it!” you pulled on his wrist, pulling him back inside, the door closing in the process.

“Don’t, please.” you pleaded making him scoff.

“I was just about to tell him to stay away from my best friend.”

“I told you already... I know what I’m doing.. I will just... well-” looking back toward Jungkook, you furrowed your eyebrows as you noticed the girl from earlier.

“who’s that?” Jimin whispered.

“I don’t know.” you whispered back.

“why are we whispering?”

“I don’t know, I mean since we spying on him.” he joked.

“ha. ha. ha.” you rolled your eyes.

Jungkook was leaning back on his bike, the girl standing just before him. They were too close for your liking.

Your heart picked up the pace as she approached him, her hand raised on his shoulder. You stopped breathing when she tilted her head to the side, her lips getting way too close to his face.

You panicked as you suddenly press on the honk.

Jimin bent down abruptly to hide himself, you doing the same.

“and now why the fuck did you do that?” he whisper-yelled.

“sorry, I just, just panicked.”

“girl..” Jimin started before shaking his head slightly.

You peeked up slowly, staying careful to stay discreet as you heard the whirring of the bike.

“shit!”

“what is it?” Jimin asked curiously.

“they left... together.”

You just watched as he drove away, her arms wrapped around his body as she sat on the back.

—

You finished drying your body, putting your underwear as you stared at yourself in the foggy mirror of your bathroom.

“What an idiot?” you groaned frustrated, being mad at yourself.

“I hate him!” you exited your bathroom, stomping to your wardrobe.

“hate who?” you heard a deep voice startling you as you turn around only to notice Jungkook sitting on your bed, back leaned against the bed head.

“you look good.” he smirked.

The words making you tripped over your feet, landing on your ass.

“Jungkook?! What are you doing here?”

“your windows were opened, I took it as an invitation for me to come here.” he explained nonchalantly, pushing his black hair back, revealing his eyebrows piercing.

“I know you did it on purpose.” he licked his lips before you gave him a -what do you mean- look.

“you missed me, huh?” his eyes wandering over your half naked body as you finally stood up.

“no... I mean yes? Well, you.. you ... what are you doing here Jungkook?” you looked toward the open windows, putting your arms in front of your chest to cover you a bit.

“you forgot your glasses at home.” he pointed to the glasses he left on the bedside table.

“oh! You could have give it back to me next week. It wasn’t that important for you come here this late.” you smiled at him, feeling soft at the gesture.

“but thank you, I appreciate it.”

“wanted to see you before sleeping.” he added shrugging making your heart skipped a beat.

You stood there silent, not knowing what to do or what to say.

“come here.” he patted his thigh making you gulp.

“let me just grab my pajamas first-”

“no need, c’mere.” he extended his hand for you.

“If you’re cold, I’ll warm you up.”he said with a stupid smirk plastered on his face.

You walked to him slowly, his eyes not leaving you as you approach the bed.

Taking your hand in his gently, he made you sit on his lap facing him.

“how was your movie?” he started, laying his cold hand on your thigh, goosebumps raising all over your skin.

You hated the way your body reacted to his touches, reacted to him.

Wait, did you really hate it?

“The movie was...”

Oh, you didn’t even watched it, you weren’t focused at all.

How was you supposed to reply to his question when you spent the whole time thinking about him.

“well, it was good.” you cleared your voice making him nod.

You stared at him, wondering if he meant what he said earlier – he wanted to see me? You furrowed your eyebrows confused.

“You’re not gonna ask me how was mine?” he raised an eyebrow making your thoughts came to a stop.

“ah yea yea... how was your movie?” you let a breathy laugh passed by your lips.

“good! I liked it. My friends were scared. It was funny. One of them almost jumped on me and had to hold my arm the whole movie.” he laughed making you smile.

You loved his laugh, he was just so cute. The way he scrunches his nose when laughing made your heart melt.

But- who was he referencing to? Was it the girl you saw him with at the cinema.

“we should definitely go watch a horror movie together. I want to see you scared and hold my hand.” he grinned making you roll your eyes.

“by the way, you looked good with my jacket tonight.” he said, one of his hand caressing your side.

You looked down, playing with your fingers nervously.

“thank you.” you whispered timidly.

“I should let you borrow my clothes more often.”

Gosh, why is he like that? You screamed internally, his words making you want to jump around happily.

Jungkook sat up, his face now closer as he did so.

“Look at me.” he demanded.

“C’mon, what is it?”

“huh? Nothing?”

“you seem off.”

“no no I’m fine.”

“sure?”

“yes.” you smiled at making him hum.

“cool then.”

“are you tired?” he asked biting on his bottom lip.

“not really?” you replied hesitantly.

Jungkook’s lips were ghosting over yours, his hands sliding down your hips.

“your lips smell like.. cherry? You used it again, the same lip balm?” he asked whispering, his minty breath hitting your face.

You were about to reply when he connected his lips with yours, surprising you.

He sucked on your bottom lip making you moan into the kiss.

Parting away, he pursed his lips “taste good.” he grinned as you look away from him.

“you should use that lip balm everyday.” his thumb sliding over your lips as he speak.

“I like it.” he murmured.

“a lot.”

You were feeling hot, even if you could feel the light breeze from the windows caressing your skin, his presence was enough to make you feel weak and ready to suffocate.

You just wanted to kiss him, feel him again.

“you know, I find you so quiet tonight. If you don’t say anything, I’ll try to find a way to make you talk.” his fingers ghosted over your panties waistband.

“still silent? I’ll start thinking you don’t want me to be here.” he started kissing on your neck.

“no, no it’s not that.. I mean, I don’t know what to say y’know.” you closed your eyes, enjoying the softness of his lips against your warm skin, kissing the hickeys he painted earlier.

You shivered when he bite on the sensitive skin.

“Jungkook.” you whimpered, his hand traveling down between your legs.

“tell me princess, did you miss me?” he licked the abused skin, your hands sliding up his broad shoulders.

Jungkook laid you on your back, hovering above your body.

“did you think about me?” he pressed two of his fingers on your lightly covered core earning a moan from you.

“If you’re not replying I will have to stop. Is that what you want, angel-”

“no no please.” you whined as he rubbed on your clit painfully slowly.

Your bottom lip was caught between your teeth as Jungkook bite on your collarbones.

“so? Did you miss me?”

You nodded, your hands flying to his hair as you pulled on them when he started moving faster.

“Jungkook I-”

“Tell me.”

“I missed you, I missed you!” one of your hand gripping on the soft sheet under you.

“are you close baby?” he asked against your skin.

“y-yes, Jungkook.”

“do you want to cum?” you nodded throwing your head back as he went faster.

“Come, come for me baby.”

He captured your lips in a sloppy kiss as you came in your panties, hips bucking against his palm.

You breathed heavily, closing your eyes as you felt a small droplet of sweat sliding down your temple.

“I hope you will sleep well tonight.” he pinched your cheek making you open your eyes again.

After helping you get dressed with your pajamas, Jungkook stretched his arms a loud yawn escaping his mouth.

“well, I think I gotta go now.” you watched as he walk to the windows.

“shut the windows after me.”

“well, just shut your windows when you’re alone, at night or whatever. You don’t want to get robbed or kidnapped? Aren’t you afraid one day I come kidnap you when you’re sleeping?” he joked, a smirk decorating his pretty pink lips.

He turned around one last time tilting his head to the side making you raised your eyebrows curiously.

“I stole these while you were showering.”

He grabbed something from his back pocket making you open your mouth speechless as he showed you-

“my panties?! But why-”

“For me. Personal use.” he said burying it back into his pocket.

“Well, good night, i’ll get going. Don’t think too much about me, or I won’t be able to sleep tonight*” he said before disappearing.

(*well, here, people saying that sometimes when you can’t sleep it’s because someone is thinking about you.)

“you could have just exited by the front door...” you trailed out quietly.

You let your body fell back on your mattress, sighing loudly.

“what do you want from me, Jeon Jeongguk.” you whispered defeated.

[ monday – lunch time ]

“ah I love eating lunch with you.” you smiled as you sat next to Jimin at the wooden table outside the college.

“me too.” he smiled cutely.

“I’m glad your boyfriend is not the jealous type and don’t keep you away from me.” you joked before biting on your sandwich.

“I have the best boyfriend, that’s simple.” he pushed his hair back.

Jimin was gossiping and telling you about that girl he has a beef with in his science class when he suddenly stop making you confused.

“are you okay? What is it?” you put your drink down on the table, waving your hand in front of his face.

“isn’t that the girl we saw at the cinema Friday night?” he pointed behind you making you turn around curiously.

“ah... yea that’s her.” you started at the tall girl, the wind pushing her long brown hair behind, revealing more of her face, her dress showing off her long legs..

“she is so pretty.” you muttered..

“not prettier than you girl.” Jimin said before snatching your drink between your hand to sip a big gulp of it.

“argh stop lying.” you huffed throwing your head back as you felt a slap on your shoulder.

“I’m not lying bro.” he shrugged making you pout.

“thanks chim.”

“y’welcome.” he grinned.

“hm.. but quick question, what is she doing here?” your best friend spoke again.

“I’ve never seen her around.” he added making you think about it.

“yea you right... do you perhaps think she is a new student?” you suggested - not wanting it to be true.

“I don’t think so.” Jimin pursed his plump lips unsure.

“I mean, where’s her bag?” he kept munching on his sandwich.

“maybe she left it somewhere with some friends?”

“yea maybe.”

Sitting in the empty amphitheater, you jumped when someone snatched your phone away from your hands.

“hey!” Jungkook laughed.

“I finally found you.” he pinched your cheek making you sigh in relief.

“did I scared you?” he grinned making you shake your head.

“No, not at all. I was ready to kick you in the face.” you said turning to the side to face him.

“oh I see.” he sat on the table looking down at you.

“you were reading to pick up a fight with a boxer.” he teased making you gulp.

“yea, everything for my precious phone.” you replied confidently making him laugh.

“well, speaking of it. I noticed you were really focused on that screen.” he pointed out.

“what were you doing?” he asked curiously.

“nothing.. I was just... just reading.” you said too nervously for your liking.

“reading what?” he asked again, as he looked at the foreign application on your phone.

“an article!” you grabbed your phone back panicked between the hands of the man.

It was silent for a short moment before Jungkook started talking again.

“what are you doing here?” he tilted his head to the side.

“what do you mean? We have a course here.” you rested your head on your arm as you laid it on the table.

“oh darling.” Jungkook chuckled as he caressed your hair.

“I see no one told you.”

“told me what?” you furrowed your eyebrows looking up at him unsure.

“Mr Kang is not here today. He postponed his course for next week since he is sick.” he explained.

“so you’re telling me I’ve been sitting here for about an hour waiting for his course and no one told me he wasn’t here today?”

“Basically, I just did.” he pursed his lips ready to laugh but try not to as you sighed.

“Didn’t you wonder why no one was here?”

“no, since I usually come before everyone so I can rest a bit in silence before the course start.” you huffed irritated, letting your head fall back onto the table.

Jungkook just stared at you silently, hands still on your hair, mindlessly playing with them.

“you hungry?”

You lifted your head up to look at the man getting off the table.

“a bit.”

“what do you wanna eat?”

You were about to reply when he continued talking.

“If it’s me that you wanna eat, sorry to disappoint but we will have to eat a real meal first since I’m starving cause I didn’t eat lunch earlier” he sighed, pushing his hair behind his ear.

“But you can have me for your dessert darling.” he smirked putting his hands in his pockets.

You covered your flustered face with your hands not knowing what to say at his burst.

“argh you’re stupid.” you laughed standing up from your seat, grabbing your bag from the floor.

“stupid?” he raised his eyebrows laughing too.

“yea.” you pushed him on his shoulder playfully, passing by him before he suddenly grab on your wrist pulling you to his strong body.

You gasped when you collide against his chest, looking up at him, his eyes staring deeply into yours.

“say it again.” he bent down, face closer to yours.

You gulped, heart picking up the pace as he place his other hand on your waist.

You shook your head slowly before letting a breathy laugh pass by your lips.

“I was joking.” you waved your hand in front of you, making him grinned knowing you were feeling awkward now.

“Well whatever. Let’s just go eat something.” you grabbed on his hand pulling him with you as you walk before him, the unusual gesture surprising him.

Oh, little did he know that you were surprised too. The simple action was considered bold for you.

“gosh I’m full.” Jungkook stretched his body, leaning back on his chair, throwing his head back.

You were reading the book you’ve borrowed from the library last week, the attractive man sitting at the opposite seat of you was long forgotten as you focus on the ending of the book.

Jungkook stared at you, trying to get your attention as he tap his fingers on the table.

The café was pretty empty today. You were sat at the table at the back, a group of students were sat chatting and working at some tables away.

“you’re cute when you’re reading.” he stole the book between your hands surprising you.

“what?” you asked confused, glasses resting at the bridge of your nose making him smile as he shake his head slightly.

“nothing.” he pushed the glasses back up, your eyes widening a little when his thumb swipe over your cheek softly.

“there was a little something on your cheek.”

“oh.. thanks.” you felt your cheeks heat up at the gesture.

“you’ve been reading that shit for awhile now, let’s go eat something sweet.” he suggested, closing the book as he sat more comfortably on the chair.

“what do you wanna eat?”

“you.” he smirked, before biting on his pierced-lip.

You looked around you panicked as he say it loud enough for the whole area to hear.

“Why are you talking so loud?” you whisper-yelled embarrassed earning a cute laugh from the man.

“C’mon let’s go eat some ice cream. I know you like that.” he stood up, putting his cap back on his head.

“weren’t you full?” you arched an eyebrow teasingly as you pack up your things.

“Oh so you heard me? And you didn’t even react?” he gasped in a playful way acting offended.

“so?” you stood up facing him.

“are we gonna eat that ice cream?” you smiled cutely making him nod.

Walking next to you, Jungkook was about to pinch your cheek when his phone suddenly ring making him huff annoyed, his sweet little time with you being ruined by whatever idiot that disturbed him.

“Sorry.” he apologized looking at the screen checking the id.

“I have to take that call.”

You just nodded acknowledging his words as he picked up the phone. He furrowed his eyebrows listening to the other line, nodding silently as he stopped in his track. You stayed in place, observing him, his facial expression changed. He didn’t look nor excited nor annoyed.

“fine, see you.” you heard him speak.

“hey!” he approached you, putting his hands on your shoulders.

“mmh, so I can’t huh, for the ice cream right now. I have to go. I promise next time, I will make it up, and we will grab ice cream together.” he said calmly hands sliding down to his sides again.

“oh… it’s ok, don’t worry.” you forced a smile feeling a bit disappointed about the sudden canceling.

“I will give you some money so you can buy one.” he started searching in his jacket’s pocket but you grab on his arm stopping him.

“no no no worries! I…changed my mind! I don’t wanna eat ice cream anymore.. I was hesitating because it was getting cold and I don’t.. well yea.” you gulped, feeling weird for lying like that, you knew you were a bad liar so you really hoped that he would believe.

“are you sure?”

“yea yea no worries.” you nodded immediately, your slightly shaky hands playing with the strings of your hoodie.

“cool then, see ya’!” he patted your head with a smile, before rushing away.

You watched as he exited the park, your heart beating slowly as you felt sad? It was weird… you hated that feeling - you hated feeling that way for such a thing…and especially - because of him.

“y/n?!” you heard someone call loudly from behind making you turn around.

“Jimin? what are you doing here?” you smiled.

“I can ask you the same, girl.” he put his hand on his hips.

“are you alone?” he asked looking around, searching for someone he probably know that could hang out with you.

“I can ask you the same, bro.” you imitated your best friend, putting your hands on your hips aswell.

“I was with my boyfriend. Since I was near the park I wanted to come buy ice cream. I’m hungry.” he crossed his arms over his chest sassily.

“Really!?”

“Yea why?”

“I came to buy ice cream too!” you said smiling a bit.

“let’s eat together then.”

[ later ,, monday evening ]

“fuck it!” you yelled out loud annoyed.

You threw your body on your bed, a large pillow placed under your lower stomach as you try to find the best position to get comfortable because of the cramps.

“are you ok?” your best friend entered your bedroom with a glass of cold water.

You grabbed on your sheet tightly the pain getting unbearable as you shake your head tears in your eyes.

“I hate being on my period.” you whined rolling on your back, closing your eyes.

“yea I see that. Here take that.” Jimin handed you the fresh liquid as you sit up.

“that was sudden.” he sighed.

“what do you mean?”

“your period. Like we were having a good time and then you got nauseous out of nowhere.”

“oh man, if only we could get a “notification” before having this shit.”

“I think feeling nauseous was the notification.” he shrugged before dropping on your desk chair.

“yea but days earlier would have been better.” you huffed before gulping the water.

“I feel like throwing up.. right now.” you put the glass on the floor trying to get off the bed, head spinning,

“now?” Jimin jumped out the chair abruptly.

“right now.” you nodded putting your hand over your mouth.

You ran to your bathroom dropping in front of the toilet as Jimin turn on the light for you, staring with a disgusted face waiting for you to get everything out.

“Is everything alright?” he asked approaching you a little hesitantly.

Don’t get him wrong. It’s not that he didn’t want to help you but he didn’t really handle seeing someone throw up or he will throw up too. He is a really sensitive boy.

“I can’t throw up… I mean I can’t get it out.” you whined irritated.

“Should I do something to help? You want me to.. hm tap on your back? or… argh I don’t know.” he furrowed his eyebrows feeling lost.

“no no it’s ok.” you sighed, getting up slowly feeling dizzy.

“Let me help you to bed, you need to rest.”

Jimin covered you with the soft blanket, pushing your hair back from your sweaty forehead.

“be right back.” he went downstairs to search for painkillers and a bottle of water to leave on your bed side table.

Coming back to you, your best friend realized that you were already sleeping, curling into the blanket, discomfort painted all over your face even in your sleep.

“good night love.” Jimin whispered before leaving a soft peck on your temple.

[ Tuesday ]

You weren’t feeling too good to go to your classes today. You didn’t like missing courses but you couldn’t risk fainting or throwing up in front of everyone.

Early in the morning you noticed a little note Jimin left for you, explaining that he had to go home last night and couldn’t stay. You also noticed the painkillers and water he put on your desk making you smile a little.

After your bath, you decided to stay in bed all day to rest.

You woke up time to time to go to the bathroom, feeling uncomfortable - always having that feeling of being stained by blood or whatever.

It was around 3 when you decided to take a very little nap. (lie.)

You sighed pleasantly, the warm sensation on your neck making you hummed. You started feeling hot, chest raising up and down as warm air caress your cheek.

You imagined Jungkook close to you, hands caressing your hair, making you furrowed your eyebrows not wanting to open your eyes - you didn’t want to wake up from -what you defined as a- dream.

“J-Jungkook.” you moaned softly.

“I’m glad I’m the one you’re thinking about when sleeping.” you heard a deep voice making you open your eyes only to see Jungkook sat on your bed next to you.

“what are you doing here?” you sat up abruptly, a grimace making its way on your face.

The man narrowed his eyes at you before pointing to the open windows.

“I told you to close your windows.”

“sorry, I was feeling hot earlier… so yea, I opened them.” you explained.

You pushed your hair back, rubbing your eyes a yawn escaping your mouth.

“you look dead. Did you sleep all day?” he asked as he made himself confortable on your bed, laying down on his back.

“I tried reaching you, when I couldn’t find you in the campus and noticed your friend alone.” he continued.

“oh sorry I didn’t check my phone.” you apologized as you grabbed your phone.

“6?!” you gasped when you saw the time.

“yup m’aam it’s 6 and you spent your day in bed doing nothing while I was busy studying.” he acted tired making you scoff.

NOTIFICATIONS

[ 9 new messages ]

[ 5 missed calls ]

|| 🐥 dramaboy ||

[ 10:18 am ] dramaboy : hello, are you awake?

[ 10:56 am ] dramaboy : well, I guess you’re resting. Take care bub.

[ 12:07 pm ] dramaboy : bro eat something when you wake up. You still sleeping?

[ 2:05 pm] dramaboy : damn girl, you better be awake now. Stay hydrated!! I’ll call you later I have a course in a few minutes xoxo

|| 🐰 jungkook ||

[ 1:07 pm ] jungkook : hi, you good? you’re not coming today?

[ 4:37 pm ] jungkook : you’re ignoring me?

jungkook (4) missed calls

[ 5:38 pm ]jungkook : y/n, are you ok?

jungkook (1) missed calls

[ 5:43 pm ]jungkook : I’m kinda worried you’re not answering. You’re at your house?

[ 5:43 pm ]jungkook : i’m coming.

“oh… wow, I’m sorry for not answering. I was so exhausted today I wanted to rest-“

“wait!” he sat up again.

“are you on your girl bloody days?”

“yea-“

“oh, that’s why!” he exclaimed.

“are you feeling better now?”

“did you drink some water today? If you need anything just let me know.” he spoke making you feel so confused and soft inside. And also weird because-

“I’m feeling dizzy.” you blurted out.

“Huh? Is it because of what I said? I know I’m a nice guy you k-“

“no no I meant it ! I don’t feel good!” you threw the blanket aside, falling off the bed on the carpeted floor when you tried to get off.

“oh shit!” Jungkook rushed to you helping you getting up.

“you alright? Let me help you.” he slid his arm behind your back to hold you close, walking to your bathroom.

You dropped on your knees in front of the toilet, finally releasing everything you wanted to let out since last night.

Jungkook kneeled behind you, holding your hair for you as you started crying.

“It’s ok angel.” he rubbed your back gently, looking down.

After a few minutes, you flushed the toilet before washing your face.

“please don’t look at me, I’m horrible.” you sniffed looking down when Jungkook approached you.

You heard him clicked his tongue “what the fuck you saying now?”

You felt him stand behind you, his hand rubbing your arm reassuring you.

“y’know what, just take a warm shower. You’ll relax and I’ll just go find something for you to eat since I’m sure you didn’t today.” he stared at you in the mirror as you keep looking down.

“You have to eat something. I don’t want you to faint or whatever. Call me if you don’t feel good and I’ll come right away, ‘kay?”

You nodded silently before feeling his lips on your skin. Leaving a gentle kiss on your shoulder, you watch as he exited the bathroom closing the door behind him.

You looked at yourself in the mirror, your mind going crazy.

why are you like that Jungkook? Why are you doing this? What do you want from me?

Going downstairs you met Jungkook in the kitchen, this one filling a glass with lemon water.

Sitting at the kitchen counter, you rest your head on your arm laying on the table.

“hey, you here? how you feeling?”

“much better.” you replied making him hummed.

“well, I did a little research and found out that noodles are anti- nausea, did you know?” he looked up at you with big eyes the information fascinating him a bit too much.

You chuckled shaking your head.

“Well, so I made noodles. Let’s eat now.”

Jungkook admired you from your desk chair as you speak with Jimin on FaceTime.

🐥 : bro I’m so sorry for not coming. I’m such a bad best f-

“Oh c’mon shut up.” you laughed making Jimin laugh too.

🐥 : I’ll come visit you tomorrow, I promise.

“fine! I’ll wait for you then.”

🐥 : I’ll bring ice cream.

“you’re good at apologizing.” you joked.

As you were saying your goodbyes to your bestfriend, Jungkook sat on the edge of the bed.

“hey.” you started.

“I wanted to thank you for everything. I’m so sorry for worrying you. And I’m sorry for disturbing you too. I mean you stayed here with me and it’s so late already.” you sat on your knees facing him.

“don’t apologize. I decided to do it.” he smiled playing with the silver ring adorning his middle finger.

“well, I’ll let you rest then. Like you said, it’s late. I don’t want to disturb-“

“oh you’re never disturbing!” you blurted out without thinking twice.

“I mean, I.. well, good night!” you cleared your voice - you just wanted to throw your body on the floor.

Why are you always so embarrassing y/n? you yelled internally.

“Good night darling.” he got off the bed ready to leave but you grab on his wrist.

You just wanted to kiss him before he leave.

You just wanted to hug him before he leave.

You just wanted to feel him before he leave.

You just wanted to tell him that you felt touched for everything he did for you tonight.

You wanted to let him know that you always feel happy when you’re with him.

Jungkook looked down at you, raising an eyebrow as you open your mouth, no words coming out.

y/n, what the fuck! do something!

You were about to panicked, why the fuck did I do that?! you whined internally.

“what is it?”

“I want to… to hm well, I wanted to know… ah! No no I wanted to give your jacket back.” You let go of his wrist abruptly.

“Ah, well it’s ok I’ll get it another day.” he smiled as you nod.

He was about to walk out the room when he stop turning around.

“for tomorrow, let’s just cancel.”

“what?” you tilted your head to the side.

“tutoring, we will do it another time, just rest. See ya’” he waved before leaving.

“See you…” you trailed out.

[ Wednesday ]

Today, you luckily didn’t have any courses. Your cramps were still bothering you but less than yesterday.

Early in the afternoon, Jimin visited you without forgetting ice cream like he promised.

Jimin was such a great friend, you considered him like a brother. The big brother everyone dream to have. He was always there for you, supporting you with whatever you’re doing. He reprimanded you when needed to. You didn’t seem like it but you’re really silly sometimes. Jimin meant so much for you, and the same goes for him, you meant a lot to him.

You laid on your couch, scrolling on your phone mindlessly. Everything was boring today. Even outside, the sky wasn’t as blue as usual.

A pout made its way on your dried lips, forgetting to hydrate them today. You couldn’t stop thinking him. You couldn’t stop thinking about what he did last night.

Why all of this? It was so unnecessary? well it was really kind, way too kind. He acted so like a…

“boyfriend?” you said aloud making you stare at the ceiling.

Why do I keep feeling so bubbly when I’m with him?

“Do I have feelings for him?” you talked to yourself.

“No, no not at all!” you kept on talking, voice resonating in the empty room.

“I can’t!” you put your hands over your face trying to calm down, the thought of liking him killing you inside.

You knew you couldn’t.

You knew what type of guy he was.

But the way he was acting with you was so, seemed so natural?

You whined kicking your feet in the air.

You felt so affected by today’s canceling. It was weird not being to deal with him today.

You’re so used to him now…

[ Thursday ]

You courses unexpectedly went pretty fast today. Your day was going good, even if you were bleeding like you’ve been stabbed in the lower stomach.

For once, Jungkook wasn’t the one searching for you but you.

You were the one looking for him.

You didn’t even realize it as you keep on walking around the campus, earphones buried in your ears, the music accompanying you everywhere as you hoped to come across the man.

You arrived home later in the afternoon, smile pretty absent on your face the whole day.

You didn’t even get to see him today. Not even from afar.

No messages.

Nothing.

It was so weird - you hated it.

You kind of miss him. You tried your best to ignore every single thoughts travelling through your mind.

[ Friday ]

You were on the phone with Jimin debating about what you were about to do tonight.

“Friday night, movie night is an option today. Because hell nah we ain’t going to watch any of the movies at the theatre, they all seem bad.” Jimin huffed annoyed making you chuckled.

“So what do you wanna do tonight? Sleepover? Movie night at home? Gaming night?” you suggested earning a sarcastic laugh from your best friend.

“I’m not in the mood to be stay-at-home tonight.” he replied making you roll your eyes.

“What about a nice dinner at this restaurant we went last month. It was good!” he exclaimed.

“you fine with it?”

“good for me.”

“Hello?!” you heard Jimin gasped.

“I see you girl.” he smiled widely, eyes travelling up and down your body.

“you look so good, I’m speechless.” he kept on complimenting you.

“Shut up.” you laughed when he took your hand to guide you to his car.

“you know I’m a taken man, right?” he joked making you roll your eyes.

“If you’re trynna seduce me it won’t work. I love my man.” he started the engin as you slap his arm playfully.

“Stop it, you look good too Park.” you flattered him smiling.

“I know.” he smirked pushing his hair back, making you purse your lips.

“Let’s go.”

“Allons-y Madame.”

“Oh the French accent ?!” you gasped amazed.

“My boyfriend studies french, what did you except?” he smiled proudly.

“oh man, I love this restaurant.”

“Let me guess, he take you there often?” you raised an eyebrow teasingly.

“Well, yea but not totally, cause the dishes are so good here.” his eyes focused on the menu.

“Good evening, I’ll be your waiter for tonight.”

Both Jimin and you turned to the young man standing before you.

“Can I start off with something to drink?” he asked politely.

“Yes, I’ll have a red wine and for my friend..” he looked to you waiting for your choice.

“hm, for me it will be iced tea please, peach iced tea.”

“Good, are you ready to order or do you need a few minutes?”

After ordering, the waiter disappeared making you glare at Jimin.

“what?”

“red wine?” you crossed your arms over your chest.

“Oh c’mon it’s Friday night, let’s relax a bit.”

“yea yea whatever.” you sighed.

Jimin moaned loudly as he chewed on the grilled meat making you widen your eyes.

“damn that’s so fucking delicious.” he hummed as you agree.

“so what were you saying?” you kept munching on your food.

“Ah, yea he invited me to go with him in Paris for holiday!” he said excited.

“no way! that’s so cool!” you exclaimed before sipping on your fresh drink.

“I know.” he nodded happily.

“and guess what?”

You wait for him to continue.

“About that girl in my class, I stole her pencil and throw it in the bin when she went out to the bathroom.” he said feeling proud of himself.

“aren’t you ashamed?” you bursted out laughing taken aback.

“She stole my answer and said it loudly in class. And you want me to forgive that?” he watched you in disbelief.

“And she really d- oh hell nah, he really everywhere I’m done.” Jimin grabbed his glass gulping the fourth wine he ordered annoyed.

Turning around you noticed Jungkook standing at the bar, probably waiting for a drink. He looked so good. Seeing him after so long ( two days ) made your heart beat faster.

“I will start thinking he is following us every Friday.” he stated as you turn to him again.

“We met him only twice what do you mean ‘every Friday’” you chuckled at his words.

Jimin sighed heavily before grabbing his phone checking his messages, a smile appearing on his plump lips.

“It’s him huh?” you smirked kicking his leg under the table to tease him.

“oh shut up.” He put his hand over his mouth, putting his phone in his pocket.

“Okay, now let’s get out of here. He spoiled my evening.” he stood up grabbing his jacket.

“Oh c’mon bro, he didn’t even do anything.”

“His face is enough to annoy me.” he admitted dramatically.

“We will get dessert somewhere else.”

Jimin and you walked to the front of the restaurant to pay.

“what!? I only had four glasses!” he gasped loudly.

“why are you making me pay for six?!”

“Sir, the waiter reported s-“

“What? I don’t care what he reported! Let me talk to your manager!” he kept on fighting making you sigh.

“Jimin let me just pay, so we can go.”

“Hell no! I won’t allow that.” he shook his head pushing your hand away as you took your credit card out of your bag.

“Let me take care of that, go outside and wait for me.” he pushed you away, handing you his car keys.

You watched as he followed the person he was arguing with, at the back of the place.

“ah gosh.” you groaned tiredly.

You jumped when you felt a hand on your shoulder.

“Good evening, pretty girl.” you hear a deep voice whispering behind you.

Jungkook walked in front of you, a smile plastered on his face.

“You’re so beautiful tonight angel.” he complimented, eyes travelling all over your body.

You found yourself wordless. Not knowing what to say as you gulp.

“are you on a date?”

“no! I’m not !” you finally spoked denying immediately.

“I’m with Jimin. We came to eat dinner together. We’re friends! He is taken so it’s not a date? Well, we just ate and yea.” you cried internally, cursing yourself.

You’re sure you were born to be the most embarrassing person on earth.

“I know he’s your best friend, y/n.” Jungkook laughed.

Oh, the way your name dropped from his mouth made your knees buckled slightly. And his laugh, gosh just pin me against the wall and-

“Where is he?”

“He really left his pretty best friend alone without worrying someone might steal her.” his hand coming up to arrange the strap of your black velvet dress.

You wanted to fall down on your knees, melting under his feet. The man knew how to make you weak.

“He… he is coming back. He has to take care of something before we leave.” you explained playing with your necklace nervously making him nod.

Jungkook approached you, his body getting really close to yours. You stopped breathing when he bent down to whisper in your ear.

“I would had really loved to fuck you right here, right now, if you could. You look really exquise tonight princess.” he bit on your earlobe, a soft moan begging to pass by your lips.

“Jungkook I-“

“Enjoy your night pretty girl.” he laid a soft kiss on your neck, a smirk decorating his tempting lips as he moved away.

Your body was on fire. You were really about to fall if you don’t freshen up a bit.

You pushed the restroom’s door open, entering the -too elegant - place for a restroom.

You splashed water slightly on your burning cheeks, breathing in and out slowly trying to stay cool.

“he’s such an idiot.” you breathed out smiling like an idiot yourself.

“are you talking about Jungkook?” you heard a unfamiliar feminine voice from behind you tearing you up from your thoughts.

“I’m sorry, who are you?” you spoke before turning around facing the girl Jimin and you saw at the cinema last week.

You stayed silent when you recognize her.

She was prettier closer.

“I’m warning you, stay away from him.” she said before exiting the restroom leaving you speechless.

“And what the fuck is her problem?” you furrowed your eyebrows in shock.

“and where the hell were you?” you noticed a worried Jimin near the car.

“restroom, sorry.”

“I tried to call you, it’s ok.”

“about the dessert?”

“let’s go home, I have ice cream and cookies. I bought them this morning.” you replied

“I saw her.” you blurted out making Jimin look down at you curiously from the couch.

“the girl at the cinema.”

“where?”

“at the restaurant earlier.”

“Oh, Jungkook was there too. Do you think they went together?” Jimin supposed making you pushed your plate further on the table as you laid on the carpet defeated.

“Please don’t say that.” you groaned.

“She talked to me.” you spoke again.

“What did she say?” Jimin sat down next to you on the carpet.

“She told me stay away from him…”

“She said that?”

You hummed pouting when Jimin think for a moment.

“I agree with her.”

You slapped his thigh making him shrugged.

“But why?” he asked seriously this time.

“I don’t know.”

“Maybe she’s one of his bitches.” Jimin yawned unbothered.

“I’m one of his bitches too.” you sighed.

“I’m sure you are thee bitch.” he pinched your tummy making you sigh.

“You still fucking with him huh?” he rolled his eyes knowing the answer.

“nah because I’m telling you again baby, take your distance. He’s not a good guy. I mean he’s not a guy for you. You deserve better than this, you deserve the best.” he flicked your forehead making you glare at him.

“Jimin..” you started quietly after a long silence.

“Yea?”

“I think I appreciate him.”

“bruh, I think we all already knew that.”

“nah but I mean… a lot. More than I should.”

“damn bro… I’m sorry for you then.”

“I’m serious Chim.” you looked into his eyes as he make the -oh - face.

“y/n…” he noticed the tears building in your eyes.

“aw no don’t cry, come here.” he took you into his embrace, patting your back.

“I’m bleeding.” you sniffed.

“It’s normal to feel like your heart bleeding when you're feeling a bit down.” he caressed your head.

“no I mean it. I’m bleeding.”

“Girl you serious.” he laughed making you laugh too.

“Don’t make me laugh bro, it’s getting worst.” you exclaimed making the man part away.

[ Tuesday ]

|| 🐥 dramaboy ||

y/n : guess what!

🐥 : ??

y/n : my period is over!!

🐥 : …

🐥 : I mean … why the need to tell me that?

y/n : sharing my happiness with my best friend is a crime now?? ☹️

🐥 : ahhh well, good for you I guess.

y/n : what are you doing?

🐥 : I’m still at college. I’m waiting for him 😩

y/n : it’s so late dude

🐥 : I know !! His French classes end up so late but I really wanted to wait for him.

y/n : aw what a sweetheart 🤭

🐥 : shut up!

[ Thursday ]

A notification from your phone was what disturbed you from your - night personal - reading.

You groaned as you got up to grab your phone, checking which idiot disturbed you. You really thought you put it on not disturb mode.

You almost fell on your knees when you opened the message.

|| 🐰 Jungkook ||

🐰 : you looked so fucking good today. I can’t stop thinking about you.

🐰 : couldn’t stop thinking about how great you would feel on my dick.

🐰 : couldn’t stop thinking about the way I’d fuck u on Mr. Choi’s desk in front of everyone.

🐰 : u made me so hard.

🐰 : [ attachment ]

It was the last straw. You really did fell on your knees, hand over your mouth when you clicked on the attachment.

fuck was the only word coming out of your mouth.

He is insane.

Oh the way your felt your inside twitch when you stare at the picture he just sent you.

The -oh so - familiar feeling between your legs making you whine.

Jungkook sent a picture of himself, pants unbuttoned, hand resting on the bulge over his black Calvin Klein boxer.

🐰 : [ attachment ]

🐰 : baby I need you so bad right now.

You threw your phone away when your phone indicated the incoming FaceTime.

“no way!” you gasped panicked.

“What do I do? Oh my gosh!” you bit on your fingers.

Taking a deep breath you clicked on the green button, heart skipping a beat when you saw his face.

He was so… attractive, it’s sick.

“hey darling.” his deep voice turning you on even more.

“hi Jungkook.” you forced a smile as you notice he was in his bed… shirtless, a smirk decorating his pretty lips.

Your eyes were glued on the screen as you stare at him silently, his smirk growing up.

“like the view baby?” he teased making you avoid his eyes.

“I… hi! how are you!?” you cleared your voice feeling embarrassed.

“I’m horny.” he admitted right away.

You were speechless.

The man was so bold, it’s insane. The way he was always so direct, always spitting everything out so easily.

What should I say?

“You were pretty today. Just wanted to let you know.” he said before you could talk. watching as you got shy.

“thanks.” you smiled seeing him shift, sitting up, back leaned back on the bedhead.

“I also wanted to let you know that you were so damn pretty that I had to walk around the campus with a big boner.” he continued, eyes getting darker.

“I suffered all day because of you.”

“But.. I didn’t even do anything.” you protested shocked at his words.

“those pretty lips around that fucking lollipop was enough to turn me on.” he groaned also desperately.

“I thought about the way they would look around my cock.” he sighed.

“Jungkook.” his name leaving your mouth with a soft and quiet moan as your body started heating up.

Oh you were about to lose it if he kept on talking like that.

“angel.” he started again catching your attention again.

“can you do something for me?”

“anything.” You whispered with a nod.

“I m-mean what?” you tried to save a bit of your dignity.

The “anything” leaving your mouth so swiftly was enough to make his cock twitch.

“touch yourself for me.”

You choked on your own saliva not expecting that.

“I’m not forcing you, if you’re not confortable doll.”

“no no, it’s not that but I’ve never.. y’know done it like that.” you pointed between you and the phone.

“I don’t know how I should do or.. well, I don’t know at all.” you admitted with a sigh.

Jungkook just chuckled, loving the fact that you’re so foreign with the phone sex.

He always loved to be your first times at every single new activities of yours.

“gosh you’re so…” he sucked on his bottom lip, the little rings disappear into his mouth as he do so.

“I’m more than glad to help you with that then.” he said voice laced with lust.

You were feeling so nervous when you see him move, setting his phone on his bedside table.

You watched as he got off the bed, standing just before his phone.

What is he doing?

You gasped when he started sliding his jeans down his legs, revealing his muscular thighs.

“What are you doing!?” you turned your face away giving him some kind of privacy making him laugh loudly.

“Don’t act like you’ve never seen me naked before baby.”

“I know you like it.”

“no no it’s not that!” you looked back at the screen, your jaw ready to drop on the floor.

Here he was, standing proudly naked for your eyes.

“close that pretty mouth princess, you trynna catch flies?” he bent down, grabbing his phone back sitting on his bed again.

“your turn now kitten.” he put an arm behind his head waiting for you to do something,

“me? my turn?” you panicked, legs bouncing anxiously.

“undress yourself.”

“right now?”

Can someone save me please, I wanna throw myself away, the embarrassment is so high right now.

“yea, right now.” he waited.

Your head was about to explode with all the thoughts running through your mind at the same time. Were you really ready to try this? Maybe. Were you willing to try it? Hell yea. But what’s blocking you right now is shyness. Undressing yourself in front of him was already a big thing you, but imagining doing it from afar is weirdly difficult for you.

Jungkook noticed your hesitation as he spoke.

“Angel, if you’re not comfortable it’s ok, don’t do it. I don’t want to pressure you or whatever.”

You shook your head denying his words.

“no don’t worry, I’m just.. just thinking where I should put my phone.”

Stepping closer to your bed, you decide to mimic Jungkook.

You placed your phone on your bedside table, walking backward until your whole body was visible for him to see.

Your hands went down to the hem of your shirt, pulling it up to your head revealing your bare chest.

Jungkook sat up, watching attentively as you strip yourself for him, only him.

Just that thought made his cock throb.

If only you knew how excited you got him.

Looking down to your feet, your hands nervously travelled down to the waistband of your pajamas short.

Jungkook’s heart started beating faster in excitement. Oh knowing all of this was your first time and he was the one making you experience this was enough to satisfy his ego for a whole week.

It was a boost for him.

Corruption.

He loved corrupting you.

You took a deep breath, sliding the soft cotton material down your beautiful legs, panties falling with it at your ankles.

You were left in nothing, and Jungkook, him, was left in amazement.

He’s used of seeing you naked for him, but tonight hit differently. There is something exciting but he couldn’t really know what.

Your thighs looked so smooth, your legs enough to make him go crazy. Your body was just a masterpiece for me.

“you’re so fucking pretty kitten.” he complimented making you get your phone back, sitting on your bed awkwardly.

You thanked him, staying still not knowing what you should say, what you should do.

“and now?” you asked hesitantly.

“and now, you’re gonna show me how you touch yourself when you’re thinking about me.” he looked into your eyes through the screen, his words making you feel hot.

It was like your body was set on fire.

“w-what?” you couldn’t think straight.

How should your start? How should you do it? Should you lower your phone a bit?

Gosh why did I put myself in this situation?

“do you think about me when pleasuring yourself angel?” he asked lowly.

You bit on your tongue, this man definitely don’t have filter because how the hell can your say such a thing so straight? No shame at all. He is really a thing.

“I don’t… d-“

“you don’t?” he raised an eyebrow surprised.

“no! It’s not that, I meant that… I don’t do.. that.. hmm I don’t do that by myself.” you confessed feeling embarrassed.

“you’ve never pleasured yourself? Like you've never masturbated?” he furrowed his eyebrows not expecting this answer.

You shook your head, a tiny pout making its way on your lips without realizing it.

Jungkook‘s eyes darkened, the new piece of information exciting him even more.

“Oh my dear y/n.” he smirked.

“what an innocence girl.” he tilted his head, eyes glued on your flustered face.

“I will help you then.” he continued.

“you still good with that?” he made sure you were down with it, not wanted you to do something you don’t want to do.

“yes, I’m still good.”

“good. let’s start then.”

“Let’s go easy. Set your phone against something, so it doesn’t move and I can see you. Both your hands would be free and it’ll be comfortable for you.”

You did as he say, resting the back of the phone against a large pillow, your body on full display for him to admire.

“lay down.”

You followed every steps he tell you to do.

“you good?” you nodded as you look toward the screen seeing the shirtless man shifting.

"make yourself comfortable."

He was too attractive, it was hard to not look at him but hard to keep eye contact.

“let’s start slowly angel.”

“Caress your body gently.”

Jungkook’s eyes lingered on you, paying close attention at every of your movements.

Teasing yourself, you just slid your fingertips on the soft skin of your stomach, goosebumps raising after the soft touch of yours.

Your fingers went up your front, up along your cleavage.

“Cup your breast, stay soft and flick your nipple with your thumb.”

“Do it like I always do baby.”

Jungkook watched as your played with your hardened bud, fingers pinching on your sensitive nipple.

Soft moans passing by your lips, as you rub your thighs together.

The pleasurable sensation throughout your body when you tug on the erected bud made your head spin as you close your eyes trying to focus on everything going on.

“Take your time.” you heard him say.

“Jungkook, I need you.” you whispered.

“Oh darling, unfortunately not tonight, but I’ll try my best to help you.” he sighed as bothered as you.

“Slide your hand delicately down your body slowly.”

You couldn’t helped but imagine his hand on your skin, the soft feeling of his fingertips dancing down your skin. Gosh you wanted him so bad.

“Open your legs for me baby, I wanna see you.” he demanded.

Spreading your legs for him without a second thought, your hand went to massage your clit slowly, bottom lip caught between your teeth as your pointer and middle fingers slide up and down between your glistening lips.

The slow rhythm made you feel good as you forget everything around you.

“are you wet enough darling?” his deep voice waking you up.

“Put a finger inside if you think it’s good, do it slowly.”

Sliding a finger in like he said, you furrowed your eyebrows at the feeling.

“Put another one.” he bit on his bottom lip waiting for you to execute his words.

“Imagine your fingers are mine. Remember the way mine are buried deep inside you, fucking you slowly when I’m with you.”

“d-doesn’t feel the same.” you whined making him chuckle.

“Twist your wrist baby, keep going in and out.”

The way your fingers moved inside you fascinated him. He couldn’t just stay still and watch. You were just so hot for him.

“I’m going to stroke myself while imagining I’m fucking you deeply.” he breathed out making you let out a soft moan at his words.

Jungkook grabbed on his erection, the warmth of his hand enveloping around it.

“yea just like that darling.”

Jungkook groaned when you increase the speed, hand moving faster.

“fuck.”

“you’re doing so well.” he praised breathlessly as he started moving his fist faster too, trying to catch up with your pace.

“you’re such a good girl for me, aren’t you?”

You applied a heavy pressure on your bud of nerves with your palm as you felt the sparkling feeling in your lower stomach.

“tell me baby.”

“are you a good girl for me? Only for me, right?” he tightened his grip around his cock.

“Yes, only for you.”

“I’m so close Jungkook.” you whimpered.

Jungkook’s hand stroked faster as his eyes followed your hand sliding up your breast, fingers playing with your nipple, your other hand still working on hitting on your g-spot. His thumb sliding over the head of his cock, trying to push him over the edge.

You closed your eyes as you felt your orgasm coming.

Moaning his name loudly, you came on your fingers, thighs shaking slightly, the wave of pleasure exhausting you.

Jungkook cummed after a few strokes, cursing as let his head fall back on his pillow.

“fuck look what you did.” you heard Jungkook said as you open your eyes to grab your phone.

He licked his lips before lowering his phone showing you the white ribbons covering his lower stomach making you swallow hard, cheeks warming up as you look away.

“you did so well.” he said with a soft smile.

[ later that night ]

|| 🐰 jungkook ||

[ 11:47 pm ] jungkook : you sleeping?

[ 11:48 pm ] y/n : not yet

[ 11:48 pm ] y/n : you ok?

[ 11:49 pm ] jungkook : yup. Just wanted to ask you if you’re coming to tomorrow’s party?

[ 11:49 pm ] y/n : ngl I didn’t know there is a party tomorrow.

[ 11:50 pm ] jungkook : you should come

[ 11:50 pm ] y/n : I’m not into parties sorry

[ 11:50 pm ] jungkook : oh c’mon, it’s gonna be fun! And it’s Friday, you need to get this week’s stress off.

[ 11:51 pm ] y/n : I’m busy on Fridays

[ 11:51 pm ] jungkook : oh c’mon, let’s change a bit. It is your besties night thingy? Or I don’t know what shit?

[ 11:51 pm ] y/n : hey! Don’t say it like that! And yes it’s my special time with my best friend.

[ 11:52 pm ] jungkook : Park will understand. C’mon come. My friend Jay said I can invite who I want, so you’re my guest.

[ 11:53 pm ] jungkook : Tell Park to come with you. He will be your guest.

[ 11:53 pm ] jungkook : please pretty please.

[ 11:56 pm ] y/n : I’ll think about it.

[ 11:56 pm ] jungkook : I take that as a yes. See you tomorrow.

[ Friday ]

After mentioning about the party with Jimin during one of your classes in the morning, you found out his boyfriend also invited him. Funny thing, both you and him didn’t want to go to the event but wanted to accept the invitations to be nice.

Later in the afternoon, you found yourself struggling in front of your wardrobe.

"What should I even wear? "

Jimin turned around on his stomach on your bed, looking up at you from his phone.

"Just go like that." he struggled playfully.

"Ah ah ah, you’re so funny." you rolled your eyes, as you tightened the knot of the white comfy robe wrapped around your body.

"Just put whatever your want.”

“You’re not helping.” you sat on the edge of the bed defeated making Jimin get off of it.

“ok let me see what you have in there.” he hummed as he analyzed your wardrobe.

“what about that pretty skirt you got there?” he grabbed the black skirt that was hidden behind all your hoodies.

“and you put this low cut shirt, with a black jacket over it. Taadaaa.” he grinned with both hands on his hips feeling proud of himself.

[ Friday end of the afternoon ]

“C’mon dadd-“

“bruh, I told you not to call me like that.” Jungkook grimaced as he buttoned his pants.

“where are you going?”

“I gotta go.”

“where?”

“my friend throwing a party and I’m invited.” he replied annoyed, buckling his belt rapidly as he looked down at his watch checking the time.

“It’s a party, there is no exact time to get there. Why do you seem in hurry?“

“I don’t have to give you explanations. Bye, have a good ev-“

“you seeing her, huh?”

Jungkook stopped in his track, before turning around curiously.

“what?”

“y/n. You seeing that chick tonight right?”

“none of your business.” he said after a few seconds, walking out of the room, slamming the door behind him annoyed.

“gosh I don’t like parties.. I feel weird.” you muttered grumpily, as you held onto Jimin’s arm near his parked car, the cold air hitting your legs.

“me too. I feel unwelcome.” he sighed agreeing with you.

“Same but y’know I don’t have nothing against parties.. but there are too much people.” you groaned.

“yea I get it.”

“what if we go back home? or we can just going out just the two of us?” you said making Jimin shake his head, denying the ideas.

“We already said yes to come here. My boyfriend is already waiting for me inside or I don’t know.”

“Wait! You letting me alone?” You gasped.

“Jungkook was the one who invited you. So I guess, you staying with him.” Jimin smirked teasing you.

“Jimin! No please! He just told me to come if I want with who I want. And it’s you! Jungkook will probably be with his friends.” you grabbed on his hand panicked.

“I’m playing, of course we staying together. Like just imagine if he let me alone, girl. And you know I don’t like when you’re with that man but I fear he might steal you from me tonight.” Jimin sighed as you both started walking to the big house reluctantly.

Gulping, you walked through the ocean of sweaty people grinding against each other, half-empty red cups in their hands.

You tightened your grip on Jimin waist as you both tried to find a less crowded place.

“gosh it smells! Can’t they put some perfume or deodorant before coming there!” you heard a disgusted Jimin yelled.

You laughed, slapping his arm.

Standing in the corner of the room, Jimin texted his boyfriend, letting him know that he was there.

After a few minutes, your best friend was with his boyfriend - you decided to give them some time together as you went to sit outside alone, even if both of them insisted for you to stay with them.

You kept on checking your phone, perhaps hoping to get a message from the one that invited you.

Looking around, you noticed Jungkook sat with a group of friends all around a table full of alcohol and other things you didn’t even know the name of.

They were smoking, laughing together.

Not only, you disliked him smoking but the girls sitting at each sides of him being too close for your liking. Especially the way their hands were on his thighs made your blood boiled. You hated that feeling.

You looked down at the ground, feeling a bit insecure. You didn’t even know why you were feeling like that way so suddenly. It was definitely not the best place to be. You weren’t having fun, you didn’t even know anyone here. It was such a bad idea to come here.

“fuck what am I even doing here?” you groaned standing up, before grabbing your phone to send a text to Jimin letting him know you were going back home.

As you started walking away, you heard a voice from behind you.

"Leaving already?"

Turning around, you were met with the person you hoped to see tonight, the only reason why you came.

"Jungkook."

"I really thought you wouldn’t come."

"Well, there is a first at everything." You looked up at him.

The man nodded approvingly.

"Are you gonna stand there all night? Come with me." He grabbed your hand as he guided you to where he was sat.

You didn’t know what to say, what to do as you forced a smile greeting his friends - one of them offering you an adorable gummy smile.

You stood next to him awkwardly not knowing where to sit since there was no place left. No one making a move to make some place for you to sit. Before you could do anything, Jungkook grabbed your waist pulling you down to sit on his lap making you widen your eyes in utter shock.

In front of everyone? you panicked internally as you stayed still.

"Confortable?" he asked earning a small nod from you.

You could feel eyes on you and let’s say, you didn’t enjoy it a lot.

"Who is she? Is she in our college?" The girl sat on your left asked, looking you up and down.

"My friend." He replied as he took a long puff of - what seemed like - a cigarette.

Perhaps, Is that weed? It smelt so much different from cigarettes?

Gosh, you’ve never felt more uncomfortable.

Jungkook laid his back against the couch as he started chatting with his friends again, but something didn’t go unnoticed by him as he pulled you closer to his chest. He didn’t appreciate the way one of a boy sat on the opposite couch look at you. He didn’t like the way his eyes were going up and down your legs, or the way he stared down toward your skirt that ride up your thighs when Jungkook shifted a bit when he started feeling you pressed harder on his lap. His tattooed hand slid to rest on top of your thigh, fingers sliding just a little down to rest on the inside of your thigh catching the man’s attention. Locking eyes with Jungkook, he knew he was fucked up.

"Gimme that pretty?" He pointed to the plate placed before you on the table.

"I didn’t know you like brownies." You smiled cutely handing him one of the little cakes.

"Oh darling. You’re so cute." He laughed, his dark eyes, quite red, staring deep into yours.

"That’s not brownies." He took a very tiny bite of it making you furrow your eyebrows.

"Space cakes." He muttered against your neck, goosebumps raising after the warm air caressing your skin.

Turning around more, you give him a confused look as a smirk made its way on his pretty lips.

"Angel, when eating one of these.. you just.. boom! You’re traveling into another galaxy."

"It tastes so good."

"Wanna try?" He cupped your cheek softly making you shake your head hesitantly.

"Pot brownies." You heard the guy with the pretty gummy smile say as he gulped his beer.

"Brownies made with butter that has been infused with cannabis." He explained making you raise your eyebrows at the new piece of information.

"Oh, I didn’t know about these." You replied making him smile.

Moving forward, Jungkook’s hand went to grab one goblet full of vodka. You watched as he gulped the liquid, his tattooed hand still resting on your bare thigh.

"Want some?" He asked tilting his head to the side as you deny again.

"I don’t drink." You pursed your lips innocently.

"C’mon, just a bit."

"Just for tonight." He stroked your thigh gently.

"Like you said, there is a first at everything."

You hesitated for a strong minute debating on what to do.

What if something happen to you?

What if you pass out?

“You’re with me, so don’t worry too much.” he kept on persuading you.

Even though his red eyes definitely show off how high he was, you wanted to try it.

You have one life, right? You nodded giving him the green light.

Lifting the red cup to your lips, you sip a little bit of it. The strong liquid burning your throat as you gulp it down.

"Fuck." You coughed putting your hand over your mouth as Jungkook grinned.

Jimin will definitely beat your ass when he’ll know you had your first ever drink without him. He’s been asking, more like begging- about drinking alcohol with him so many times.

He will especially break your hand when he will found out your first drink was with Jeon Jungkook.

Sending a quick text to Jimin, you turn your phone off with a sigh.

|| y/n : I fell like I’m gonna do something stupid tonight.

Jungkook was a really touchy guy. He loved physical contact.

And when he wasn’t sober or high, his hands couldn’t help but get more daring.

You started feeling him pulling you closer to him, his arms snaking around your front, holding you tight.

One thing about him, he hated sharing. What his, is his. And let’s say he didn’t get over how the guy sat at your opposite was ogling at you. He hated when other men look at you the same way he looks at you when you’re together alone.

He snuggled his face into the crook of your neck, making you feel hot, body warming up as you felt his soft lips against your skin.

"Jungkook, what- what are you doing?" You whispered feeling timid and uneasy at the fact that you weren’t alone.

"Nothing." he hummed lowly, the tip of your ears burning as you sensed a little wet kiss being placed on your neck.

"I want you." He whispered into your ears after a few seconds, your body heating up even more as he stood up, hands on both of your sides.

"Right now." He looked at you with hooded eyes.

"you leaving?" one of his friends ask with a knowing smirk.

"yea, see ya later." he grabbed on your wrist gently walking back inside the loud and crowded house.

Walking upstairs, he walked through the corridor leading you to the - luckily empty - bedroom at the end of it.

Pushing the door open, he locked it immediately after shutting it.

"Now, I have you all to myself." he tilted his head to the side, approaching your frozen body in the middle of the low enlightened room.

He was way too attractive right now, the small amount of alcohol in your system enough to make you feel lightheaded at the combination. You could felt that little boost of confidence when you pulled him closer to you by the collar of his shirt, lips mere centimeters away.

"I need you so bad." you whined quietly biting on your bottom lip earning a "fuck" from him.

"You’re so sexy." He muttered with a wide smile on his face.

Closing the distance between you two, you envelope his lips in a heated kiss, sucking on his bottom lip making him smirk.

Your hands slid down his covered chest tugging on the hem of it, a silent request for him to get rid of it.

Undressing each other's impatiently, Jungkook couldn't help but to enjoy this side of you. He kind of liked this side of you, trying to make the first move.

He sat on the edge of the bed admiring your naked figure standing timidly just before him, between his spreaded legs.

"do you want me baby?" he teased leaning back on his elbows.

You nodded playing with your fingers nervously, guess the bit of alcohol you consumed wasn't enough for you to not be shy around him tho.

"words baby." he wanted you to say it again.

"Jungkook, I need you." you obeyed shamelessly right away making him lick his lips.

"Let's try something new tonight, hm?" he pursed his lips noticing you gulp not expecting that.

"what?" you asked hesitantly.

"oh my princess." he started, the words "my" affecting you a bit too much, you felt like your heart did a backflip.

"don't be nervous." he pulling you to sit on his lap, thighs at each sides of him.

He pushed your hair back behind your ear, before decreasing the space between your faces as he went to whisper into your ear.

"I want you to ride me." he bit on your earlobe, erupting goosebumps all over your body.

"ride you?" you repeated trying to process his words, you've never done that, what if you couldn't-

"don't worry too much, I'll guide you." his hands came down to rest on top of your thighs.

You felt like your body was set on fire. Your body was so reactive to him, to his words, to his touches.

Taking a deep breath, you raised your hips, Jungkook's hands on your hips helping positioning yourself above his hard cock, precum already leaking from it.

Your heart started pounding inside your rib cage as you lower down on his erection.

"ah shit." Jungkook cursed as your walls slowly swallowed his cock in, the warmth engulfing around him making him bite on his bottom lip, the plump flesh turning white.

"Jungkook." you whimpered when you feel his cock buried so deep into you, you could feel him all.

You started rolling your hips slowly, as he guided you like he told you.

Your hand flew up to hold on his broad shoulders for support, your other hand traveling up to tangled up in his hair.

He enjoyed the way you would pull on his hair when he thrust his hips up to meet yours.

You groaned when you feel his teeth nibbling on the sensitive skin of your neck, leaving pretty marks there.

He loved marking you. It's like he wanted to show everyone that you were already with someone even though it wasn't the case.

He always ignored this weird feeling of jealousy he felt when he see a man near you, interacting with you or even for looking at you a bit too long.

"you're mine." he licked on the fresh reddish spot on your skin making you shiver at the friction.

He often said that to you. Especially during the intimate session you have.

Why? He didn't even realise it.

"look at me baby." you heard him breath out, hand coming up to your chin lifting your face so he could see you.

"say that you're mine."

"I'm yours, Jungkook." you whined, when he grabbed on your thigh roughly thrusting up into your hips, your sweaty body falling on his strong one, your face resting in the crook of his neck.

"only yours." you whispered with a soft whimper into his ear, earning a low moan from him aswell.

"move faster darling." he demanded as you raised up before slamming down on his cock again, the head of it hitting directly on that spot that could make you pass out.

You felt him so deep inside you, it was unbelievable.

"it feels so good." you blabbed against his skin making him chucked.

"ah yea?" he asked making you hummed, your hand pawed on his back when you try moving faster, thighs burning from all the efforts.

You couldn't help but whimpered, the feeling of your hard sensitive nipples rubbing on his muscular chest.

Jungkook let breathy grunts pass by his lips, when he felt your nails buried into the flesh of his back, scratching the skin leaving a pleasant burning sensation.

You felt the knot in your stomach tightened when he kissed you, tongue entering your mouth, before sucking on yours.

"I can't." you cried out, as your movements slowed down, muscles aching.

"c'mon darling, keep going." he grabbed on your hips, helping you as you shake your head, a tear sliding down your cheek.

"keep going, I know you can." you were about to whine when he spoke again.

"look at me."

You furrowed your eyebrows, looking into his eyes, still red from his little puff session, you noticed his gaze softened as he take in your exhausted face.

"fuck!" he groaned before switching position, flipping you on your back as he hover above your weak body.

He stayed inside you as he started thrusting into you in a way more faster way than you.

"oh god! don't stop please don't stop!" you cried out, legs trembling slightly as you hold on his bicep.

"you did so good for a first time, baby." he said between breaths looking straight into your eyes.

“you’re always doing so good for me.” he praised, his hand coming to gripped on the headbed for support as he picked up the pace, hips slamming into yours roughly.

You moaned loudly as you felt it coming. You were so close to cum and he knew it.

“c’mon darling, cream my cock.” his lips ghosting over yours, his dirty talk making you close your eyes.

Bending down, he enveloped his lips around one of the hardened bud ripping a loud moan from you as he suck on it, your chest lifting up from the mattress.

“Gosh I’m about to-“

“Come for me princess.” he muttered against the skin of your chest.

His words were the last thing needed for you to orgasm. You closed your eyes shut tight, mouth ajar as a trail of curse words escaped from it.

You felt that adrenaline running through your veins when one of your hand gripped on the sheet, legs trembling.

Jungkook could only cursed when he felt the warm essence coating his cock, dripping down between your legs.

You looked like a mess, body covered with a thin layer of sweat, hair covering your forehead a bit, chest heaving up and down as you breath heavily, but on top of that - the pretty hickeys he painted on your skin was the last push for him to cum.

“please come inside me.” you pulled him down to you by his neck, your words making him twitch inside you.

“shit! you’re so fucking hot.” he said panting as he rest his sticky forehead on yours.

Your tightness was literally suffocating his cock as he groaned, shooting his warm cum inside you, filling you up to the brim, painting your walls with white ribbons.

Jungkook took a deep breath with closed eyes, before placing a little peck on your nose.

Pulling out of you, he watched as his cum was oozing out of you, slowly down on the sheet in awe before pushing it back inside making you whimper from how sensitive you were.

He rolled on his side with a small grin displayed on his face knowing he was the one that made you look like this - your so fucked out face satisfying him way too much.

You opened your eyes, noticing Jungkook already looking at you.

"you're so pretty."

Was he still high? you wondered, heart pounding at the compliment words that came out of his mouth.

"you're so pretty like that." his hand came to caress on your throat, fingers tracing over the fresh hickeys, his red rimmed eyes showing off how proud he looked of his "art".

Dressing yourself up back, you started feeling shy rethinking about what you just did earlier. You knew a part of your mind was still disconnected, alcohol definitely the cause of it - you really should drink water or something else to try to get rid of that boost drink out of your body, you thought.

You walked to a already dressed Jungkook on the balcony, this one holding a red cup - of you didn't even know what it contained - as you stood next him catching his attention.

You both stared at the stars decorating the dark sky, the fresh air of the balcony caressing your skin gently. You felt different, there was something that you felt like doing. Saying it or not, you're not losing anything, right? It was the opportunity for you to finally confess your feelings out. Perhaps, hoping he might feel the same about you.

You cleared your voice getting the man’s attention.

"I have to tell you something." You gulped, feeling nervous, hands getting clampsy.

"Tell me princess."

You took a deep breath before talking.

"Jungkook, I like you." You finally said making him smile cutely.

"Aw kitten, I like you too." He pinched your cheek playfully.

"No no, I mean I like you… a lot." You started playing with your fingers getting a bit anxious.

"Me too, I really like your company and all." He started, hands on your shoulders.

"You’re one of the friends I like the most." He giggled.

You shaked your head making him tilted his head to the side confused. You had to say it. Right now or never, you can’t back down now.

"Jungkook, I think…"

"I’m in love with you." You whispered looking into his eyes.

A/N : well, that was it 🤭 I honestly wanted to add so much things, add angst to get more jealous!jungkook, but I wanted to post this second part asap and I couldn't keep making you guys wait, sorry sorry - so I decided to post it like that. I really hope I didn't disappoint because I took so much time writing this and made you guys wait for a long time. I apologise for the lack of vocabulary again ; I will try to get better in the future! I really want to thank you all for reading this, really hoping you enjoyed! have a nice day and take care of yourself! love y'all <3

TAGLIST : @starstruckfangirls @jeonblisq @rebloginfics @nibi-chibi-blog @lunaiiree @jmscaffeine @kookieees-stuff @idaterosie @nostopshit @jkslaugh97 @musicisme333. @kenqki @cbugs13 @junecat18 @jeonjungukkk @starsinsky1999 @fxirytaetae @fizzaaaabs @saintsugar @lvrjjoyyy @uzispidey @thiccthighs19 @rkivemaar @cherrygukkie @burnahtsw @gyukookswhore @olimpiiaa @elmariajinn

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sukunas-wife · 2 months

Note

the Dadkuna series is great!!! Sukuna isn’t my main character that I like in jjk but this series has me SAT and WAITING for the next upload! I’ve always wondered though what momkuna and dadkuna’s relationship dynamic is. We get that sort of in how they met but what about when their relationship is established? I get the sense that obviously dadkuna would quite literally do anything for her but what exactly goes through his mind when he thinks about her?

Oh? Guess whose back 😎🤧

Me- I’m sickly too 🤭 but! The blog is picking up 🥺 and I’ve been working on this for a good time so here you go 🤍🤍🤍

(Indentions are thoughts, things he didn’t actively say out loud 🥺🤍)

Lord Ryomen Sukuna, though emotionally stunted and constipated, loves his wife. Would level cities and kill men easily if she didn’t have such a strong hold in him.

But he’s a misogynist at heart to an extent. He wants you at home with his kids being his cute little wife that he knows he can always come home to. It was your overwhelming passion for helping women who couldn’t bear children that convinced him he could let you live your life, as long as he knew he had people there to look over you when he couldn’t.

He appreciates the fact that when he’s tired, covered in blood that’s not his own, and carrying the exhaustion of his war ridden day, there you are rushing to him when he enters his temple. Disregarding your fine silk robes and the blood partly way on his body. The way you cling to him, always so happy and relieved to see him come home.

The first time he came home after being gone for so long, he remembers how you cried and held on to him, your anguished filled cries when you cried about how you thought he was never coming back, how you were scared he’d left you alone. He remembers how his hands found your waits holding you a bit away, another hand coming to cup your face, thumb wiping away your tears when he looked at you with tired eyes, “It would take the militia of this land's greatest sorcerers to even consider preventing my way back to your embrace.” Your teary eyes softened before you buried your face in his chest again hugging him and clinging to him.

He longed for that feeling of your embrace whenever he would leave you behind, he could deny it but on his way home to you, his heart ached and longed to feel your embrace and hear your praises of how he had returned. You cried no more because you were filled with that confidence he would always return.

——————

He’s a traditional man with his one form of values, not once did he long for sexual pleasure or was he consumed with lust. Misery, pain and the screams of his victims fueled him and filled him with an immense pleasure no woman’s body could ever possibly offer him.

They were all the same, sultry, scandalous, attention seeking harlots, prostitutes and women. Thinking they could better their lives if they could slip into his bed. They were wrong, every woman who he allowed to enter his bed chamber under these pretences had walked in with starry eyes and ambition. Only to cry and scream for their life while he slowly dug his nails into their flesh tearing them all apart, slowly and agonisingly. That was until he saw you that one day, any girl of age would’ve started to present themselves to him in shy or subtle ways hoping to catch his eyes. There you were kneeling out of respect in his presence, scared you had offended your lord.

‘Oh? Is this little morsel afraid?’ Fear filled and humbling yourself before him. You couldn’t look at him, there wasn’t an ounce of “I want to sleep with this man.” And yet these feelings caused a sentiment in the depths of his chest, something stirred inside him, you head captured his interest (non sexual at this point). ‘Hmm?, this will be a fine pet to break.’

You were a phenomenon in the temple, one he wanted to study, to take into his clawed hands and mould, twist, stretch and push to the edge and then just over the point of breaking to see what would become of you. Yet, once he had you in hands reach, once you were close enough for him to graze your skin with his nails… he didn’t treat you like a common daisy or water Lilly, no he took you into his hands like a Lotus floating on the water's surface. Making elegant work and taking care of your delicate bloom. You would be his delicate lotus that no one else would ever take the joy in having.

——————

“My gratifying queen, My delicate lotus, My benevolent wife.” Words he doesn’t speak so freely, he whispers them against your skin whenever you’d sleep by his side.

Delicate words and honeyed names had never once crossed his mind in his existence. Yet here he was, allowing himself to indulge in the smallest amount of vulnerability with these words. The press of his feverish kisses against your neck and cheeks between every word.

‘My little beloved pet, so tired, sleeping away the wares of today. How could something so small and insignificant like you cause this shift in my existence hm?’

The back of his hand brushing hair away from your face, nails grazing the side of your face lightly, he held you in his embrace watching you. Two arms securely around you, one supporting his head, the other kept grazing your skin. You’d stir in your sleep when he shifted slightly away from you to lay on his back. You’d become so used to his body heat even on the hottest days you’d search him out half awake.

‘My little lotus,’ he closed the space between you, pulling you into his side again, ‘rest your weary head without worries of tomorrow, I’m here to hold you now.’

He wouldn’t admit it, he didn’t even know it at that moment, but he was absolutely smitten with you in ways he had yet to comprehend. But it showed in his subconscious movements. A hand on your lower back or waist guiding you, knowing you’re close and safe.

Bringing home little jewels and trinkets he’d usually never spare a second glance . That is until a stone sparkles in the light of his flames and he stops briefly to take a close look.

My queen would look Devine with these adorning her neck. These stones would make fine pieces for my wife.

It was a shock when he came home one night waking you when he sat on the bed. You sat up sleepily while he handed you a bag of precious stones and jewels telling you he had brought you a gift, a free hand of his brushing your hair back and bringing you closer by the back of your head so he could kiss your lips.

——————

It was your wedding, there you were standing beside him in the Ceremonial Robes. You stood on his right, his eyes looking down at you.

Hmm, What an enticing display, to have my little pet dressed up so exquisitely for all to see and admire.

Even more enticing to know soon you’ll be round with my child, what an ethereal sight you will be laid out in silk robes and swollen carrying my legacy

My delicate little lotus, my malevolent queen, my gratifying and honourable wife. Perhaps these thoughts never be spoken aloud with heavy sentiment. But I vow myself to you in this instant, that I will do all to assure our future, our health, our children and our endless lives.

I will assure your hand never be left cold nor alone as long as I can take it. nor will it ever be lifted in vain or to labour. Your stomach is never empty as I will assure you have the finest wine and a feast every night if it’s what your little human heart desires, your head will always have a place to rest even if it is only on my chest. Your nights will never be cold, your days will never be short, your loneliness will exist no longer, and your heart will be mine, and mine will be yours.

It wasn’t all he told himself, but it was in the moment you felt a warm sensation against your skin, on your chest below the centre of your collar bone but above your breast was the same mark you’d seen on his tongue very few times.

Ryomen Sukuna DID NOT enjoy the thought of staining your teeth black, instead he took your hand, as if vowing and brains you, the ring finger of your left hand, the base faded to a black band, above it a snark mark matching your chest and another thin black bank, just below your nail was another black band. That’s how your little husband decided to present you as his.

Tag List: @sad-darksoul @satorisgirl @bontensbabygirl @lupita97lm @queen-luna-007 @venus-seeks

@bofadeezs

@sakuxxi @mercymccann @certainduckanchor @najiiix @bakugou-katsukis-wife @amitiel-truth @souyasplushie @mylovelessnightmare @ynjimenez @dolliira

Broken :( @simpforyoubitch @domainofmarie @ilovemybabies378 @anyaswlrd @cyder-puff

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tetsuskei · 4 months

Text

belonging - portgas d. ace [nsfw]

synopsis: it’s never the best time when it’s his birthday, but luckily he has you to show him differently

notes: two days late, but this is the bday fic dedicated to my soul, my luvr boy. poured so much into this that it kinda doesn’t make sense but we will roll with it <3 kicking off the year with him and wouldn’t have it any other way !

warnings: unprotected sex, creampie, self doubt, depression (ace has some dark thoughts), anxiety, praise, nipple biting and sucking, body worship, barely edited so probably lots of typos, reader has fem body parts

ace always assumed that ‘falling in love’ was something that happened to other people, not to him.

his entire life had been a series of doubts and questions to himself. doubts about if he deserved the good things that came to him and the people who entered his life.

but gone were the days where ace let out all his anger towards anyone and everyone in the world. if you could ask anyone about him now, they would have only amazing things to say about him. many see him as a brilliant leader, one not to be meddled with. his brothers admire his never ending strength and courage. his spirit was always there to uplift others.

so who would be there to lift him up?

only you have seen who he is once broken down. once he’s out of the public eye, and behind closed doors, he’s a much more sombre person. he’s clingy, and soft. sad, and vulnerable.

it’s not a surprise to you that he struggles with his mind sometimes. that there are days where he may spend too much time in his head, fighting off demons.

“what am i doing here?” he asked one time. it wasn’t a question directed towards you, and from the empty look in his dark brown eyes, you could tell he was having trouble answering himself.

having the blood of a devil circulating in his veins is a double edged sword. he always told himself to not let where he came from hold him back. that mentality had gotten him this far, after all. it became a driving point for him.

but after quickly rising up in ranks and making a name for himself just like so, his mindset started to change. he began to not really know what he was after. yes, he wants to be more famous than his father, but so what? what would come next?

he focused on a much simpler task. he wanted to live each day without regrets.

many considered ace like the sun. he shined so brightly on his own (literally and figuratively), but in a way, it was a curse. he shined so brightly that if anyone came too close to him, he would burn them. they’d scorch up in flames within an instant.

but you were different. despite how brightly he shone, you didn’t let that stop you. it scared him, to say the least. the only people who he was comfortable being vulnerable with in his feelings were his brothers, and yamato being another person. now you were the fourth.

you had picked and pried at him in a way no one ever had before. getting scorched (literally and figuratively) in the process. you showed him kindness and affection that he only saw in the pages of fairytales.

he knew very little about gentleness. but it didn’t mean it was impossible. the feeling of your finger tips running over his bare skin is enough to soothe him. it makes him feel like he is at home and belongs. and in return, he wanted to give you that same feeling.

he wanted to live, and always come back to you.

ace always seemed more tense around this time of year. a little more gruff, and on edge. but not in a way that makes him dangerous. or, at least to you. he just seemed a lot quieter, and more consumed in his thoughts.

his birthday, as it turned out, had always been a sore subject amongst the whitebeard pirates. no one ever pried too much into his past. even after he told you and several others of his father, of his mother, no one wanted to push him to speak more about it.

you don’t make the most grand gesture out of his birthday, only requesting help from thatch to make a grand spread of all his favorite foods, and small decorated cake.

“i’m not going to ask anything of you, but only for you to have a good time. no sulking, kay?” you told him that morning.

when finally getting time alone with your boyfriend that evening, you sat with him, holding him in your arms as the two of you watched the stars.

ace loved when you talked about the stars to him. you told him once that the constellations that sit in the sky are the same ones projected onto his face in the form of freckles. he thought it was the most ridiculous thing ever, until you said one thing.

“the stories written up in the stars are no different from the ones that live in your eyes.”

his eyes always told you what he was thinking. after all, you read him so well. you long since noticed the troubled look on his face, but remained impassive as you know he’ll come to you when he’s ready to talk. for right now, having you as his support is the best thing you could give him.

eventually, he told you that he ‘just wanted to forget about things’ and while you understood what he meant without a full explanation, you wanted to make it known how thankful you are that he’s here. that he was born. that he’s a gifted presence in your life—and so many other people’s.

one thing led to another—shared kisses and words of declarations as you shedded each others clothes off.

right now ace lays under you, a complete mess as you ride his cock. his hat was on your head at first, but now it lays somewhere on the ground.

“ahh~ fuck!” a pretty gasp leaves his rose colored lips, his eyes glazed over with tears. his adrenaline has his blood pumping like crazy, and his cock is of course no expectation to that rule. he’s twitching erratically inside of you, more than likely leaking heavily as he holds back his orgasm. his chest feels tight from how much your cunt is gripping him. it’s like you’re sucking the life out of him.

funnily enough, he’s already cum once, but his stamina, is unlimited. he’d be able to go for hours on end. that doesn’t deter you from your goal of completely fucking him stupid.

ace thinks you look beautiful above him the way that you do. like an angel that descended from the heavens. he doesn’t think he believes in any gods, but he knows surely you were sent by some celestial being to be the best gift he’s ever had in his life.

“you’re doing so good for me, ace.” you hum, leaning over his muscular form to kiss the shell of his ear. he keens when your lips then meet the sensitive juncture of his jaw and neck. your tongue swipes up any access sweat and you hum, cheekily biting him. “taste so good, too.”

his whole body is boiling to the touch, to say the least. black, greasy hair matted to his forehead. his brown eyes are blown out in pleasure, and he thinks he’s dying.

it shouldn’t be possible that he feels this good.

“don’t say that.” he grumbles shyly, hiding his face behind his hand. you pin it down to the bed, eyes glaring down at him.

“it’s true, though.” you argue, “and you feel so good too. always fill me up so well.” you moan, letting your head fall back as you grind down on him, pleasure crawling up your spine as his cock rides up against your cervix, kissing your gummy walls lovely.

“if you keep talkin’ like that i’m gonna cum again…” he warns, whining slightly.

you grin, “that’s the plan.”

ace groans, letting his head fall back on the pillows, “jesus christ, woman, you’re going to be the death of me.”

you laugh, “i would say death do us part, but i’d like to think we’d follow each other into the afterlife. i feel like that’s the true meaning of a soulmate.”

ace can’t help the tears that permeate at his ducts when he feels overwhelmed with love by you and for you.

“well, i hope that if we’re reborn, we find each other in the next life.” he says breathlessly.

you hum, smiling, “of course we will.”

he’s silent before his hands guide your hips, helping you bounce on him. there’s a deafening squelching sound from the combined slick and it drives both of you crazy.

“you’re so pretty, ace.” you say, kissing the freckles on his face.

he frowns, glaring at you, “the correct term is handsome or sexy. men aren’t ‘posed to be ‘cute’.” there’s a pout on his face and it only adds on to your statement.

you laugh, “sure, baby. whatever you want.”

“‘whatever’ my ass,” he says crudely, “why don’t you make yourself useful and cum on me?” he isn’t asking though, and brings his thumb to your clit.

a sharp breath of air escapes you as you realize how much your impending orgasm is creeping up on you.

“wait…” you start, hand reaching out to stop his own.

he swats its away. “you said to make sure i’m having a good time, and this is helping.” he smirks, “no ‘sulking’, remember?”

you don’t have time to answer when your boyfriend leans over you, taking one of your breasts in his mouth to suck.

a loud moan escapes you once a euphoric pleasure washes over you. you quickly seize up before you realize your cumming hard on him.

ace grunts, closing his eyes once he feels you milking him. you’re a walking sin, and the grievance between your legs would be his downfall.

he hooks his hands under your legs before flipping you over to lay you on your back.

“a-ace…” you stutter, looking up in shock at how much his energy has suddenly changed.

“my pretty girl.” he smiles, kissing your nose, cheeks, and finally your lips. “just relax.”

his hips began to steadily rock into you as he takes over the pace, his hefty balls slapping loudly against your ass.

still sensitive, you twitch and jerk under his grasp, feeling helpless and near limp as he rails you.

“nothing ‘cute’ about the way i’m fuckin’ you, now is there?” he grins, hand titling your jaw to the side before proceeding to suck marks into your delicate skin.

a keen slips from your mouth and you try to catch your breath, “o-okay, you proved a point.”

“damn straight.” he moves both of his hands downwards, holding onto your thighs before moving your legs over his shoulders.

the new angle feels as if the wind is knocked out of you. with the way he’s looking at you adoringly, and damn near shattering your pelvis you might as well be conflicted on if he loves or loathes you.

“always feel so fucking good. wish i could stay in you forever.” he moans, biting his lip. “so perfect like this. i’m so lucky.”

you gasp, your toes curling at the way his tip drags itself seamless over your insides. your eyes threaten to roll back but you fight it, seeing how ethereal your boyfriend looks when he’s feral.

he’s never been the best with words, but with the way he takes care of you, especially in the moment you share right now, you can feel the essence of his love. the way his hand reaches grips yours to kiss your knuckles.

“thank you…for always loving me.” he pants, ��and for showing me things in life i never thought i’d be able to see.”

“thought i told you to stop thanking me.” you hit him on the head. you pull on his hair but he only groans, cock twitching.

ace pulls back from your neck, “i’m serious, i…i’ve never been this happy before.”

you only smile at him before grabbing his face with both of your hands, kissing him long and passionately.

he ruts into you, chasing his release. his vision is nearly spotting with how sensitive his nerves are, but his body has a mind of its own as it craves endless pleasure.

“s-shit! i’m gonna cum!”

shamelessly, you lock your legs around him, pulling him in closer wordlessly.

he laughs, sweat trickling down his brow, “ah~ you want it again, yeah? can’t get enough of my cum, can you?”

“always need to be filled by you, ace.” you moan, nails clawing helplessly at his back.

you lean forward before your teeth gently sink into a pert nipple, making him shout and swear as his orgasm is triggered.

and as he spills into you again for the second time that evening, you find yourself following him in suspension of death.

ace lays his weight on you, not crushing you, but knowing him and his narcolepsy, he just damn near will in a second.

you use all your strength to turn both of you over, and he grunts. if it was wet before between the two of you, it’s soaking now as his cum trickles down your legs.

“you’re wastin’ it…” he grumbles, holding your hips tight.

“not my fault you’re a human cum geyser.” you retort. “now let me get up.”

he pouts, “just…stay like this for awhile?”

“fine, but you’re cleaning me up.” you warn. “happy birthday, you animal.”

a sleepy grin appears on his face as he kisses the top of your head. “yeah, i love you too.”

and so maybe after all, he could learn a lot more about what life has to offer, especially if that means you’d be by his side. there’s nothing he truly wouldn’t fear anymore. not in life or in death.

#ace x reader #portgas d ace #portgas ace x reader #portgas d ace x reader #portgas d. ace x reader #ace smut #one piece smut #op smut #op x reader #one piece x reader #portgas d. ace #portgas ace smut #portgas ace x you

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cosmicsully · 8 months

Text

OBSESSED WITH YOU

aged up!Neteyamx aged up!human(f)!reader

Summary: In which…. Neteyam crosses paths with a human, but what is that sudden obsession with her, where did that need to protect her come from?

Word count: 3.1k

Warnings: fluff, Y/N’s personal space is quite literally violated by Neteyam, Y/N is the first Human Neteyam has ever seen, Neteyam barely speaks/understands English, kissing, slight make out, lowkey unrealistic storyline lmao

My Masterlist <3.

What are you called? = fyape syaw fko ngar Stay calm = mawey beautiful: (of people) = sevin take it off = kämunge tsal I want to see = Oe new ne kame hurry up = win säpi nefä so soft = nìftxan 'ango

I hope you enjoy! If you do, feel free to reblog, I might consider writing more parts to this :) <3

I can still remember how it happened. The day that I met Neteyam still lingers in my mind, the young Na´vi boy consuming my attention at all times.

About a week ago, I can still feel the soft breeze of air flushing against my legs, I remember smelling the green plants that had just been drowned in the heavy rain the previous night. The loving light of the warm sun embraces my figure as I walk across a muddy path, trying not to step on any kind of animal. I was outside although I was not allowed to leave the lab. Secretly slipping out of the back door, the mask that is pumping oxygen into my lungs well secured on my face, as I made it my new goal to explore Pandora further.

It is a memory I cherish. The adrenaline that runs through my veins as I took one step after the other, putting as much space as possible between me and the lab.

With the feeling of well-secured safety and no one having caught me fleeing from my home, I slowed my steps, taking in my beautiful surroundings. All kinds of exotic colorful plants surround my form, my eyes darting to one and then another, trying to see everything all at once. My ragged breathing slowed down as I sprinted across the mud, my feet now slightly covered in it.

I can’t help but feel joy consume me whole.

The beauty of Pandora yet again swallowed me, pulling me in. I let my feet work on their own, deciding on taking a small walk to find new interesting and unexplored corners. My fingertips glide against a pulsating bluish plant, as it vibrates against my hand in return, letting myself smile at the uncommon feeling.

This world is so alive.

It is beautiful, I hope its owners treat it well, with respect and cherish it just as I do. Although from the stories I have been told, Na’vi are very spiritual species who inhabit these forests. And now that I think of it, I have never truly seen a real Na’vi.

Dreamwalkers don’t count.

Not letting my mind linger on the thought of facing a real Na’vi, I continued my exploration, It felt like mere minutes, but because it was slowly becoming darker around me it must have been at least a few hours. The only sound that reaches my ears is my breathing from behind the thin glass that is covering my entire face, and the nature that I’m currently moving in. Deciding that I have seen enough for today and that Norm is most likely worrying about my well-being, I take a turn and walk to the path I have been walking all along and slowly but surely make my way back to the lab.

Just as I took a few steps, I heard a quiet huff and leaves moving behind a tree a few feet away from me.

Midway through me turning my head, a blue figure emerges from the bushes. There he stands. A tall male Na’vi. His stripes-covered skin glows underneath the small amount of light that is still falling on Pandora.

He is beautiful.

So beautiful the nature around me is no longer on my mind. All my focus and attention is now drawn to him as I see his fist tightening around a weapon that is firm in his right hand.

With quick movements, he is pointing an arrow at me.

“Wait- Wait- Wait-“ I start as his face wears an angry expression, his frown-covered face facing my direction. I can see his ears perk up at the words that left my mouth. The foreign language fills his head as he decides on killing or spearing me.

“fyape syaw fko ngar?” he hisses, flashing his fangs at me. His white teeth sparkle in the sun as he takes a big step closer to me. His sudden movement made me trip over, my backside making contact with the now slightly dried ground. Him now towering over me even more, his height is scary.

“I- I’m sorry I don’t understand you, please talk slower,” I say, trying to speak slowly, he probably doesn’t understand my words. He tilts his head in confusion, his eyes widening as he takes in my form. Here I am, halfway sitting up in the slightly muddy forest of Pandora. My eyes are fixated on the Na’vi that is towering above me.

“fyape. syaw. fko. ngar?” he repeats, now trying to talk as slow as I did. His pronunciation is now much clearer, his eyes squinting close as if he can see the wheels whirring behind my eyes. This situation throws me back multiple years, remembering the Na’vi lessons we were put through at the mere age of ten. He must have said something about me. Asking about my age? No that would not add up to the situation I’m currently in. Maybe he asked what my name is. That makes way more sense, him emerging from the forest, probably taking me in as a threat.

Slowly, I raise my hands on either side of my head a little, to show that I have no weapons on me, and don’t mean any harm to anyone. At my gesture his ears stand up, their previous position flattened against his head long gone. While doing so, his curiosity must have grown, he lowers his weapon, no meaning to harm me for now. The unknown Na’vi male lowers himself into a crouching position, as he fixates his bow on his back and secures the arrow back in its holder. With me still staying put on the ground, he starts to crawl over my much smaller form to take in my face.

His expression is still confused, but the curiosity must be getting a hold of him. He slowly makes his way above me, his face getting closer to mine, I can feel his warm breath hitting my cheek, his sparkly yellow eyes boring into my own. Pupils now grown bigger and bigger with each second that passes.

“What are you doing?” I whisper, my questioning tone must have shown him that I asked a question. He shakes his head in a way to tell me that he has no idea what I just said, but he doesn’t leave his current position, instead, he’s only inching closer to my body. His face slowly moved to the left side of my face, flattened nose touching my cheek and slowly moving down to my neck. His way of moving and actions remind me of an animal, I can feel him take a deep breath through his nose when it hits my pulse point. It’s like he’s taking in my scent, trying to burn it into his brain to never lose the smell of me.

His actions makes a shudder run down my spine, a shaky breath leaving my mouth only now realizing that I have been holding my lungs oxygen-free for the past minute, them now aching and burning for more.

He breathes me in again, this time with eyes closed, my scent filling his nostrils. My breathing stays unsteady, his presence making my heart quicken in my chest, he seems to notice that, his eyes now fixated on my chest, watching it rise and fall again. When my eyes caught his never leaving my chest, a frown forms on my face, my mouth gaping at him and my arms moving to cover my chest. Slightly uncomfortable under his stare that is on one of my most intimate parts.

He quickly shakes his head and uses one of his three-fingered hands -that is at least twice as big as mine- to move them away, his now gained free access to my chest making him move his head closer, the side of his face making contact with me, his ear hovering above my heart. My heartbeat echoes in his head, its beating pumping hot blood through my veins. Although he does not seem to have the intention to hurt me in any way, my heart doesn’t slow its fast beats. His heavy head makes contact with my chest, I can feel him resting his head completely.

He stays put for a few seconds, the sound of soft breaths leaving his nose hit my ears. My heart still hammers in my chest, continuing to reveal my unsure feelings about the moment and this stranger who is quite literally breaking the definition of personal space. He stirrers up removing his ear from my chest, now much softer yellow eyes meeting mine.

“Mawey.” he whispers. His soothing voice makes it seem like a sweet gesture, the way he talks, the way his eyes move from me to my chest, no, to my heart, its like he wants to tell me to relax. The next thing that catches his attention is the oxygen mask that covers my slightly blushing face. With one of his fingers he taps against the glass, the tap rather harsh as it shoots through the glass and right to my ears echoing softly.

"Neteyam." he speaks up, the pronunciation lingering in my mind. As he speaks, he points the finger that just tapped my mask to his chest, gesturing to himself, it seems to be his way of introducing himself to me.

"Y/N." I say telling him my name. His ears perk up as my voice hits him.

"Y/N…" he tries to pronounce my name just like I did, but fails miserably. I can´t help myself but let a giggle slip past my lips at his terrible attempt at pronouncing my name, squinting my eyes closed in the process. He doesn´t exactly laugh at my reaction, but what seems to be a small smile makes its way across Neteyams face. I like the way my name sounds when he speaks.

"Sevin." he whispers pointing at me again. His hand glides downwards to my own and he takes a look at it, his eyes fixated on my little finger. He slowly but surely wraps two of his fingers around it, completely engulfing my pinky with his. His hand is huge compared to mine. If he wanted to, he could cover my entire hand with his and nothing of my hand would be visible.

"Sevin?" I ask, questioning his last words, why did I barely pay attention when we were told simple words that are commonly used by Na´vi?

"Beautiful?" he now repeats, his accent thick as he tries to translate his words.

"You mean me?" I ask a little unsure, it is not unknown in the lab that Na´vi and humans don´t usually interact with one another, let alone find any interest in each other. He points his finger against my chest again, still trying to get me to understand that he thinks I´m pretty.

I can´t help but blush at his actions, not quite used to being complimented by someone.

"You´re beautiful too" I answer, already aware of the fact that he probably doesn´t understand what I just told him. So I point my finger at his chest just like he did to me and say

"Sevin."

His eyes fall to my pointer finger that is currently resting against his chest, his hands now following his eyes, a blue hand yet again engulfing my own. I feel a certain warmth spread through my chest.

Am I supposed to feel like this?

Probably not.

No, definitely not.

Then why does his presence feel so good? Why do I feel this special security with him? When his warm eyes meet mine?

His attention is now back on my face, the way he is now directly in front of me, allows me to take a closer look at his facial features. His yellow, big, cat-like eyes are pulsating with warmth and softness, his slightly flattened nose wrinkling when he senses new smell. He seems to be studying me just as I do him.

"kämunge tsal" he whispers, now again tapping against my oxygen mask.

Although I could not exactly translate his spoken words in my head, it must have been something about my mask. I shake my head hastily, if his intentions are about me taking it off he can forget it.

"Oe new ne kame" he urges me on, his eyes filled with curiosity and desperate pleading.

"Off," he says quickly his demanding tone fitting to his accent, his hand already finding the bottom of the mask and lifting it off of my face. His sudden actions make me gasp and quickly breathe in, to catch another wave of oxygen.

The mask is now all the way off, Neteyam places it on one of his muscular tights, but his vibrant eyes are darting across every moving muscle on my face. He studies me carefully as if he is afraid of breaking me with a grip that might be too firm for my body.

His left-hand moves to the right side of my head, the warm palm of his softly meeting me. His palm swallows half of my skull, it’s like a puzzle fitting, his piece connecting with mine. A few seconds later I have a sort of ticklish feeling against my upper thigh, his strong tail curling twice around it. The movement makes me blush, I feel my cheeks and half of my neck warming. It’s like Neteyam is trying to be as close as possible, though I can not really tell why.

His face inches closer to mine, he’s so close again that I can feel his breath on my lips, his eyes dare to look at them for a quick moment but just as he meets them he averts his gaze again. I can’t help it but copy his movement, my eyes darting down to his lips.

I can feel the atmosphere between us get turned upside down within one quick glance at his lips, a sort of tension building up.

What I’m doing here is insane.

I should be home by now.

Just as I can feel him getting even closer, the need for oxygen is growing and growing, my lungs aching for relief. My eyes shoot down to his leg hastily grabbing the mask that my body so desperately seeks. The moment it hits my face I take a deep breath, my heart beating at a quickening speed. Neteyam groans in response his hand falling from my head, instead both of his hands land on either side of my waist. As I try to steady my breathing, he pulls my smaller form into his lap.

"win säpi nefä" he lowly whines, making my eyebrows raise in confusion at his whining. He waits a few seconds for my chest to raise at a normal speed again, his eyes boring through mine as if he is asking for permission, although I can not quite tell for what.

"Enough" he orders now quite needy ripping the mask off my face, but before I can respond in annoyance, warm lips are pressed against my very own. My eyes widen at his sudden actions, I can`t hold back the quiet unexpected sigh that sounds like a soft moan leaving my lips.

Neteyam responds eagerly, his tongue now parting my lips ready to claim my mouth, the taste of me lingering on his tastebuds, he pulls me closer by my hips, the close proximity making him groan. The kiss quickly becomes feverish and passionate as his desire for more keeps growing. His hand moves to the back of my head keeping me in place to continue his almost assault on my lips. His rough palms skim down my waist to hook around my hips, pulling me flush against his chest.

It is something I have never felt before, the adrenaline coursing through my veins making my head dizzy. Or maybe it was the lack of oxygen that was making me feel lightheaded.

I can´t help but try to pull away from him, his much stronger grip on me only tightening in response, in order to gain focus again I let my fingers tangle into his braids, softly tugging his lips away from mine. Neteyam growls in protest, chasing my lips with his but I lean back and reach down to put the mask that dangles down my body back on my face. As I keep filling my lungs with air, I look up through the thing glass with heavy-lidded eyes, my chest still heaving and my heart thrumming in my chest.

Neteyam pants softly, just as breathless as I am.

Behind Neteyam I can see his tail swaying with excitement from side to side, his own heavy eyes now focused on a part of my neck. He quickly connects his lips with my neck, softly coating it with open-mouth kisses. With his other hand, he gently tugs on my hair to expose my neck to his mouth. Not caring about the noises that could slip out of my mouth, I let a soft moan leave my lips at the feeling. That seems to urge him on further, his lips traveling from my neck, to my collarbone and lastly to my pulse point. It is the place he breathed me in earlier, he growls at the memory, lips quickly working at sucking on my delicate skin.

I close my eyes at the feeling of his soft but rough lips as they work against my sensitive skin, my mouth slightly agape at the pleasure that is shooting through every inch of my body.

"nìftxan 'ango" the Na´vi male moans against my neck, at the sound of a twig breaking somewhere in the distance, Neteyam quickly breaks away from my sensitive skin. His tail tightened around my thigh in a protective manner.

"Come" he hushes at me, now raising to his feet and full height, With one swift movement he claims my wrist in his hand sneaking around it in a soft grip. He pulls me up in no time as if I weigh nothing to him. I can feel myself hovering over the ground for a split second before he lets go of my wrist now fully placing me back on the ground I was laying on only minutes ago.

#neteyam #neteyam x reader #neteyam sully #avatar #neytiri #avatar twow #neteyam x y/n #neteyam x human reader #loak sully #cosmicsully #fanfiction #imagines #avatar x reader #jake sully

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celaenaeiln · 1 month

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in like a one person gets one, who would dicks soulmate (platonic or not idk) be? i’ve asked this to several ppl and the answers are usually wally, donna, or jason though i’ve seen some ppl say slade, roy, and bruce.

Anon your ask has literally been haunting me at night. I thought I knew the answer but then you hit me with a Donna!! But between Bruce and Donna, I can't decide so I'll just present a case for both.

Bruce

Bruce and Dick are soulmates on a cosmological scale. The DC universe ordained them to always find each other because they're quite literally a fated pair.

Batman: Legends of the Dark Knight Issue #23

Bruce: The only regret is that I'm out there alone. It felt good having someone at my back, being part of a team...but no sense wasting time wishing for something I'll never have.

Dick: He's cool, dad...d'you think we'll ever see him when we play Gotham?

The universe literally brings them together no matter the circumstances.

Convergence Issue #4

"The bond between you and Bruce Wayne echoes in every reality."

I don't think there's any stronger evidence for Dick and Bruce being soulmates than this.

But if that's still not enough I have more-

The Multiversity: Guidebook

In Bruce's world he lost Dick and in Dick's world he lost Bruce, but still in the end they somehow find each other. In every universe that has Batman, if someone is his partner it's always Dick.

In the medieval ages world-

Batman: Dark Knight of the Round Table Issue #1

The world of "A Christmas Carol" with Ebenezer Scrooge -

Batman: Noël

In a world where Bruce is a doctor at Arkham -

The Batman of Arkham

Dick is always there as his second.

Here's another interesting but depressing fact: In worlds where Dick Grayson has died as Robin, Bruce Wayne has never taken in another Robin.

This is because on top of the fact that Dick and Bruce as fated to meet, Dick means the entire world for Bruce. Like sometimes Bruce will come across a case with a child involved and the first thing he'll think about is Dick.

Batman: City of Madness Issue #2

Bruce's mind and life is literally consumed by Dick Grayson on a cosmologically spiritual level.

Donna

Donna is Dick's soulmate on a twin-sister spiritual level. Dick and Bruce are two halves of a whole, yin and yang. Dick and Donna though are one person. Their relationship is like taking paint and mixing it together to get something new. Like in those comics where two people look at each other and there's a "zing!" and suddenly it's an instant connection. That's them.

Titans (2016) Special 1

additionally:

Titans (2016) Special 1

New Titans (1988) Issue #89

Dick and Donna have no secrets. They're like a jigsaw puzzle, their pieces fall right into place.

He's always there for her-

The New Teen Titans (1980) Issue #38

They're so special and integral to each other that when an evil witch erases Donna from everyone's memories, there is only one focal point for her. One focal person for her throughout the years. Even though he doesn't remember her, Dick literally goes back in time with his future daughter Mar'i to help Donna, his soul-sister-

The Titans (1999) Issue #25

In every. single. moment of Donna's past Dick appears again and again to comfort her and be her pillar from Robin to civies to Nightwing. In the "Who is Donna Troy" Arc, as the story goes from the origins of Donna to the present, it becomes very clear that Dick is her centerpoint.

They're the definition of soulmates.

She knows him better than anyone else and he knows her. She even had him walk her Donna the aisle for her wedding. He was given that honor because of who they are to each other.

Tales of the Teen Titans Issue #42

I...

just-

Tales of the Teen Titans Issue #50

to love like that...

They're made for each other.

#dick grayson #nightwing #bruce wayne #batman #donna troy #wonder girl #troia #robin dick grayson #dc titans #titans as family #cl anon asks #cl asks #thanks for the ask!#koriandr #starfire

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cheonstapes · 5 months

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ok but nerd!miguel & piss kink.. idk.. thoughts r thunking..

(he luvs the humiliation of it all. that’s all ima say.)

miguel o’hara stars in… ‘GOLDEN SHOWERS’ (*≧∀≦*)

a/n ~ this exactly what you think it is, digital footprint goes crazy. THANK YOU ANNONIEE!!!!! love you🩷 nerd!miguel creds to @nymphomatique 💞

pairing; nerd!miguel x rich!fem!reader

wc; 800+

cw; SMUT!! filth, miguel and reader are a bit drunk, literally just piss and fucking. NAWT PROOFREAD - i finished this on the train

This was not how tonight was supposed to go.

He had took the initiative for the first time in your relationship, inviting you to his dorm for a little private party to celebrate you passing your recent test — one he helped you study for. What he wasn’t anticipating was half of your class showing up too. His heart was pounding out of his chest, fingers shaking slightly as he gripped the red cup in his hand.

The whole night he’d been downing drink after drink, the small amount of people doing nothing to calm his nerves — the music was booming, bodies grinding against each other, the sickening smell of alcohol in the air. “Heyyyy, Miggy! Thanks for throwing this party for me, you’re too sweet, baby.” He couldn’t help but blush at the slurred praise, regardless of if he actually intended to throw this party or not.

Your smile was just too pretty. Even under the dark lighting, he could see the shimmering of your tongue piercing — smiley poking out beneath your glossy lips. “You’re…You’re welcome.” The closer you get, the more his stomach falls to his ass. The drink in his hand goes down somewhat smoothly as the cup in crushed between his strong fingers, the same ones making their way to your exposed hips.

“Oh, someone’s feeling bold, hm? You wanna dance, then let’s dance.”

The way your hips swayed against his own was sinfully delicious, his mind slightly fuzzy as the substance intoxicated his thoughts. It was hard to stay focused regardless when having some as beautiful as you throwing your ass back against him in front of all these people — but he’s had one too many drinks to give a fuck about the stares, all he wants is you.

So he has you, bent over his bathroom sink — your heels scraping against the paint of his bathtub. “F-Fuuuck, miggy! Slow d — nngh — own.” The music was loud enough that no one could hear the way he was absolutely ruining your little pussy, a concoction of your shared fluids dripping out of you and down your sore thighs. Your tits were so soft, his thumbs gently caressing the cool barbells — tugging on them to bring out your cute little whimpers.

“My…shit — my bad, mommy. ‘S just, t-this pussy’s too fuckin’ tight — can’t…can’t stop.” Not that he wanted too, despite your complaints you couldn’t stop sucking his fat cock right back inside of you. It felt like you were wringing him dry, suctioning out everything he had to give you. At his current state, he knew he wasn’t gonna last very long — but poor Miggy couldn’t really tell the difference between the sensations he was feeling right now.

It was a familiar feeling nonetheless, the pressure on his lower stomach, the clenching, throbbing — but those drinks were starting to catch up with him, fast. The pressure on his bladder was getting worse with each slam of his hips against your ass, sending tremors throughout him. “M-Mommy? I’m — I think…’m gonna - ugh, shit!” You knew, from the amount of liquid you saw him consuming — you knew. “Gonna what, pretty boy? You gonna cum, or is there something you’re not tellin’ me?”

Jesus, your smile. The way you looked back at him, gripping onto the sink for leverage to grind back against him — sinking the blunt tip of his cock righttt against your womb. He cheeks were flushed both from the alcohol and from embarrassment, he was not about to tell you what you wanted to hear — you clearly had clocked on already so what’s the point of telling you what you already know?

His hips stuttered, the force of his release threatening to push his cock out of your stained hole. “God, you’re so dirty, Migs — ‘s like you’ve been waiting to do this, hm?” It felt so strange, the sudden warmness coating your walls as a steady stream of his piss left his sore tip. “S-Shit, sorry, I…I couldn’t control it.” He quickly pulled out, letting it drip onto the floor. Miguel wasn’t really sorry though, not with the way you were clenching sporadically around nothing — the look you gave him the moment he filled you up.

His mind is a vault of nasty, nasty things he wants to do to you — the sight of you now has him unconsciously stroking his soaked length, he was already so close to cumming anyway. But of course, he always, always, came inside his pretty mommy — can’t let it go to waste when he could be giving you a little baby instead. Squeezing his base, he pushed himself back inside of you — the fucked out moan you let out making his breath hitch.

The fat of your ass rippled against his pelvis as he pounded back into you, a messy mix of his cum and piss creaming where you two were connected. His hands anchored your waist, arching your back so he can fuck himself that much deeper in you.

“One more, mommy — let me fill you up one more time.”

-i’m sorry 😔

#cheonstapes #miguel o’hara x reader #miguel o'hara #miguel x reader #miguel o'hara headcanons #cheonstapes films!🪷#miguel smut #miguel o’hara smut #nerd miguel

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ireneispunk · 2 months

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Saving your virtue: one – Jacaerys Velaryon x reader smut

Pairing: fem!reader x Jacaerys

Summary: The reader is due to marry Jacaerys Velaryon, and after a long stay at Dragonstone with tension mounting each day, it finally boils over but not in the way you expected.

Word count: 4,105

Warnings: plot with smut, starts fluffy with a lot of sexual tension, masturbation, reader and Jacaerys are inexperienced, use of Y/N and reader.

A/N: This idea literally came to me in a dream so it’s a bit of my own fan service oops. Reader is meant to be from a noble family in Westeros but I didn’t specify which so you can imagine whatever house you prefer! This ended up way longer than I meant it to be but I got SO INVSTED. ALSO I’ve never written in the ASOIF universe I’ve watcher both HOTD and GOT and read all the books and been a longstanding fan BUT if my lingo is off please bear with me <3

Three weeks, 2 days and one morning. That is how long it has been since your arrival at Dragonstone, how long you have known Jacaerys Velaryon, and how long you have yearned for him. The journey was gruelling, but your father had boasted about the prosperity of the match, and your Mother about Queen Rhaenyra and Laenor Velaryon’s beauty the long ride here. It ate away inside of you, the thought of being married to someone you did not love or could ever grow to love. It was your duty as a Highborn woman to marry well and produce heirs. You spent the entire journey trying to picture Jacaerys, your father had met him once briefly many years ago, but it had been confirmed by your handmaids that he had grown to be a very handsome young man, but you did not know if this was an attempt to quell your nerves.

Your first meeting with Jacaerys and his family couldn’t have gone better, Jacaerys was more handsome than the stories could do justice, Rhaenyra and Daemon seemed impressed with you and your families unwavering loyalty to her status. It was now less than one week before your wedding ceremony to Jacaerys. It was planned to be a celebration of a lifetime in order to show the strong bond between the two houses.

You reminisced on the first time you spoke to Jacaerys alone. Being you were not yet wed, your parents protested you both being alone unchaperoned. After a week of being around your presence but not being able to fully indulge into it, Jacaerys couldn’t bare it anymore. ‘This is wrong’ he thought to himself as he paced quietly back and forth down the corridor leading towards your room. The disappointment of his mother, Daemon, your parents flashed through his mind but were quickly replaced with thoughts of you. You had consumed his mind and body ever since he laid eyes on you. He could not wait to be with you in every sense of the word: bask in your presence, your warm smile, feel his hands around your waist on dragonback. The more he thought about you the more impatient he became, he knew what his wedding night would entail and wanted more than anything to have that day arrive more promptly. As much as he wanted you in that way, a sinking feeling would always creep into his heart. Jacaerys wanted to know you. You were one of the most beautiful beings he had ever seen, but he craved nothing more than a conversation with you. To know you. Without the pressure of family or handmaidens watching your each move, eyebrow raise, change in tone. The brief and staged conversations you had both had before now were a glimpse of something more. He was desperate to know the woman he was due to marry.

You sat on the neatly engraved chair pulled up to the table in your room. The castles handmaidens had promised to return later on in the evening as you requested some time alone. You sighed, eyeing the soft and delicate details of the room. You continued to scribble your letter back home to your younger siblings. They weren’t arriving until the wedding. As the silence engulfed you, you focused on the loudness of the silence. The occasional harsh wind whipping against the coastline and traveling up to your window, the soft tide strolling into the shore. Your eyes focussed on the fireplace that centred your room, the way the wood curled and burnt under the might of the flame, the sharp crackling with an occasional pop. You were marrying into a family of dragons, yet you felt you knew your betrothed as much as you did before you left home. A quiet set of footsteps broke you out of your fiery trance, you eyed the heavy wooden door and heard them pass. Relieved you turned back to your letter only to hear the same footsteps walking the opposite directions, and again, and again? It was late, and this was a quiet side of Dragonstone. People only came here if they wished too. Frustrated at your handmaidens’ swift return, you plopped your quill into the ink well and rose from your chair, making haste towards the door. “I apologise girls, I still require more time to-“ you swung open the door, already speaking in a tone with slight annoyance before coming face to face with your future husband. Your heart dropped to your stomach, Jacaerys was here, outside your chambers. You inhaled sharply “Your grace, I apologise. I thought you might’ve been the handmaidens. They are ever persistent, and I am not yet used to it.” You smiled with a small curtsey and drop of your head, trying to recover the situation. Jacaerys seemed to be a shocked as you were at the door opening, his mouth opened and closed with no words escaping his lips. “Was there something you need your grace? it’s getting awfully late.” You say almost a whisper, eyes laden with concern darting from his to down the hallway. He blinked away any surprise he had, looked towards his feet, before taking a step closer to you. Jacaerys was still feet away from you yet this was still the closest you both had yet been. His dark eyes locked into yours before he said “My lady, I do not wish to speak out of turn, but I feel it is within our best interests to know each other. I mean really know each other before we marry. You are to be my wife in less than a week yet there’s so much I wish to know.” His eyes gazed into yours, searching for an answer and longing for it to be yes. You could not help the large smile that spread across your face, this was everything you had hoped for. You glanced down each end of the hallway before stepping back into your chambers and holding the door open before gesturing him to come in with your hand. Jacaerys swallowed – he did not plan for the scenario in which you agreed. Your quietly shut the door behind you before walking over to the small, padded bench that sat under the window at the end of your room. Sitting down you patted the cushion next to you, “Please sit your grace, I would love to get to know you better.” He walked over and sat as far away from you on the bench as possible and sat stiff as if this were a stone monument. He turned to look at you, relaxing slightly when he met your eyes. “Jacaerys. We are to be married, just Jacaerys is fine.” He says as if revealing a heavy burden. “When we are alone that is.” He nods his head slightly, almost telling himself this, not just you. “Y/N, please call me Y/N.” You said with confidence. Jacaerys repeated your name back to you, finally feeling as if he’d met you. This was the girl who was to be his, his wife Y/N, not just Lady L/N.

Since the first night you had spoken alone, you both had the same routine. Jacaerys would wait until your parents retired to their chambers, and you would insist to the handmaidens that you did not require help getting ready for bed and would allow your hot bath to become tepid whilst you and Jacaerys spoke. Each night you both pushed the boundaries of what was acceptable, with the previous night beginning with the two of you sitting on your bed to talk and ending with a tight hug with Jacaerys’ large hand on the back of your head and one on the small of your back. Tonight, however, was different. After spending a particularly long day in a new and rather uncomfortable corset that you just could not unknot yourself, you allowed the handmaidens to undress you, but still protested as they attempted to brush your hair. You thanked them but ushered them out. You eyed the sunset. It was still a time before Jacaerys would be here. The smell of sweet florals danced around the room. You faced the steel tub, heat shimmered off the surface enticing you in. As much as you loved talking to Jacaerys, you did miss a hot bath in the cold nights here. You sighed and slipped out of your chemise, hanging it over the end frame of your bed. Rose petals swirled around your form as your slowly sunk into the tub, feeling the hot water glide over your body and settle around your neck, lapping into your hair at any movement. Eyes slipping closed you relaxed into the warm waters.

A small knock snapped you out of your light slumber, eyes shooting to the window, completely dark outside. Jacaerys was here and you were in no way ready to see him. “Uh who is it?” You stutter naïvely. A couple of seconds of silence go by as you clamber out of the tub and reach for the soft embroidered towel on the vanity next to you. “It’s me.” Jacaerys says, barely above a whisper. “Just one moment!” You say, panic evident in your voice. You quickly slip your chemise back on before turning to see yourself in the mirror. This was no way to present yourself to his grace, hair wet and almost dripping, skin damp, only in your nightwear being the most unforgiveable factor. You looked towards your dress of the day and curled your lip at the corset. Shaking your head you sheepishly walked over to the door and opened it to reveal yourself. Jacaerys smiled and took a step forward before stopping in the hall to take in your appearance. His jaw went slack at the sight of you, he had admired your beauty so far but seeing you so unready had made him feel a way he never had before. His eyes fixated on your unkept hair, the way little droplets beaded off the strands and rolled down your exposed neck and clavicle. He eyed your shape, appreciating the way the well-lit hallway exposed the shape of your breasts before stealing even more intense stares at your waist and down to your hips. What felt like a fleeting second for him must’ve in fact been longer as he felt your hand grab onto his and pull him into your chambers and out of his trance.

“Jacaerys!” you exclaimed, “someone could have so easily seen you standing there for so long!” you closed the door softly and turned to face him. Jacaerys eyes were wide as you looked into them. You felt a wave of nervousness wash over you, had you disgraced yourself? Were you both not as close as you’d hoped? Or even worse was he disappointed in seeing more of you? Your thoughts raced as you wrapped your arms across your front and smile fading at his lack of response. Jacaerys immediately seemed to get a hold of himself once he noticed your usual grin around him replaced with a slight frown and lowered eyebrows. He abruptly stepped towards you causing you to instinctively step back with you back hitting the door. “I apologise, I did not expect to see you after you were ready to sleep, I was taken aback.” He said softly, fiddling with the cuff of his jacket. “In a good way I mean of course, you were just already so beautiful as you are when I regularly see you. Seeing you in your most unaltered form reminded me that I must thank the Gods every night that you are to be mine.” His declaration sent a shiver down your spine and a heat grew in your stomach that only ever did with Jacaerys on your nights alone. He stepped even closer if that was possible and reached his hand up towards your face, a short breath hitched in your throat as his fingers graced your shoulder before retrieving a red petal that remained in your hair. You smiled and broke out a small giggle, “I might have closed my eyes for a moment or two in the bath, I still wanted to see you.” You confessed. He smiled before staring into your eyes as if they were the most intriguing thing he had ever come across. You never felt observed or stalked when he did this but seen and valued as much as any gem in the realm in that moment. “Shall we sit?” You say and gesture to the bed, being so close to someone you felt barred from touching was almost painful. Jacaerys cleared his throat before making his way over to the end of your bed, allowing you to sit at the top with the pillows behind you.

Conversation rolled forward but neither of you could deny the tension that had returned to the room. It was not a nervousness like the first night, but an undeniable hunger that panged within you both. As a story from your home concluded and left you both laughing, Jacaerys went quiet. “Can I try something, Y/N.” You wondered what he could be thinking and nodded before whispering a ‘yes’. He inhaled before leaning forward towards you, tentatively placed a hand on your cheek and leaned in towards your lips. Your eyes fluttered shut as you felt his soft lips touch yours but just as quickly as they touched, he pulled back slightly. Hungry for more you placed your hand at the nape of his neck and pulled him back for a longer kiss. Your lips moved together in sync, tentative but ridden with passion. As you melted into the kiss you slowly laid back onto the large pillows behind you. Jacaerys followed you down, never breaking the kiss, and moved one hand to your waist and the other to hold himself up beside your head on the pillow. The kiss grew hungrier and sloppier as you placed one hand upon his on your side and the other returned to the back of his head pulling him into you deeper. You let out a small gasp at the feeling of his body against yours and sighed as his hand slid up your side. You were completely engulfed in him; you didn’t realise how much you wanted his touch until you got it. He pulled away slightly from the kiss, taking a deep breath in to sigh. He rested his forehead against yours, lips brushing slightly against yours. “I cannot, I must stop. I cannot thieve your honour.” He said, more so trying to convince himself instead of you. You felt his weight shift and he placed a small kiss to your forehead before laying down beside you in a huff. Your insides burned for him, wanted him, no, needed him in a vicious way. You turned to face him, “Jacaerys,” you whined, “I will be fully yours in mere days, why can I not have you now too.” You say almost begging him. He swallowed before facing you. “I crave every inch of you, everything about you pulls me further into a place I won’t be able to climb out of. It isn’t right. Your virtue may be mine to take soon but for now it is yours to keep, we must save it for when we are married.” Your entire body ached in ways you didn’t know it could. You thought of protesting, but Jacaerys is his mother’s son. Once he has decided something it will be. You nodded, feeling your chest rise and fall more steadily. You stole one more kiss against his lips before laying as close to him as you could with a hand across his chest.

‘Five days’, you though. Five days would not be long in any other circumstance, but right now, waiting that long to be touched by Jacaerys felt like torture. As you realised the wetness that had grown between your thighs you had an idea. You turned your head up to look at Jacaerys, his eyes were screwed shut and his mind racing. “You wish to save my virtue, at the cost of leaving your future wife with certain frustrations.” You say with a sweet smile. His eyes open and he scans your face looking for any indication on where you are leading him. Jacaerys half nods his head, not sure on what the correct answer is. “There is a way, we can save my virtue, but still enjoy each other’s company, so to speak.” You say sitting up slightly so he can admire your full form. His face stays slightly confused, brows furrowed, eyes occasionally stealing a look at the thin fabric covering your breasts. Sensing his confusion you continue, “You know, when you’re alone, late at night in your own chambers, longing for someone to touch you.” His eyes widened at your explanation, and he placed a hand over yours that lay on his chest. “Well, it could be just like that between you and me right now, we get to appreciate each other but still protect my virtue.” You explain, looking up at him from beneath your eyelashes, internally begging he’d agree to at least this. The turmoil behind his eyes was evident. He was torn between what was supposed to be right and what felt right.

Instead of a verbal response he leaned up to kiss you once more, just as desperate as before. Feeling a sudden sense of urgency, he started undoing the buttons on his jacket without ever breaking the kiss before tossing it onto the floor. The thin white shirt covered his torso, and you trailed your hands down his chest towards the tie of his trousers before resting on top of his very apparent bulge. He swiftly grabbed your wrist and moved you hand away with a sharp inhale. Worried, you looked into his eyes before he stated, “I wouldn’t be able to stop myself if you touched me.” he looked defeated and utterly infatuated with you. You nodded, accepting his boundary before sitting back on your knees, he used his free hand to place on the inside of your knee and motioned to move your thighs apart. Just the sensation of his fingertips on your leg sent burning waves throughout your body. With his other hand holding your wrist he guided your hand between your thighs towards your pussy. You lightly rubbed from your clit to your slit opening and massaged your folds as you watched himself undo his trousers at a painfully slow pace before he pulled them down slightly revealing the cock you had blushed at imagining when alone. It slapped against his stomach, red with desire and leaking a few beads of precum. It was large in a satisfying way that made your pussy clench around nothing. You intently fought the urge to touch him. A soft moan fell from your lips as you began to touch yourself faster at the sight of Jacaerys taking his cock into his hand and slowly running his hand up and down the length. He seemed shocked by your moan, like he had never heard a noise so sweet before. A rather large moan escaped your lips before a flash of panic glazed over Jacaerys’ eyes. With his free hand he guided the back of your head towards his face and enveloped you into yet another desperate kiss, this more needy than the rest. Your lips moved quickly against each other as your fingers moved in short, tight circles across your clit causing a number of moans to stifle the kiss. You broke the kiss, needing to bite your lip, and rested your forehead against his. Jacaerys panted and moaned slightly with each stroke of his cock. His free fingers brushed against your cheek before curling into your hair. The feeling made your core tighten, a desperate ‘Jacaerys’ ridden moan fell from your mouth resulted in a harsh groan from the man beneath you.

“Let me see you,” He said gruffly, “I want to see you when you reach your peak.” Jacaerys was assertive in a voice that came from pure desperation. You nodded before sitting back on your knees and leaning further back so could appreciate all of you. Jacaerys sat up further in the bed leaning back into the cushions pumping his cock quicker at this new sight of you. He occasionally threw his head back in pleasure after taking in the sight of you. Your fingers switching from delving into your pussy and circling your clit, your mouth slightly agape and littering moans around the room, the way your chemise was almost see through letting him see the peaks of your breasts and hardened nipples poking the thin cotton. You were a sight he never wanted to forget. You, right here and now, completely coming undone before him is what he wanted to see every night. “I-I’m so close I cannot hold on anymore Jacaerys.” Your declaration was laden with moans and gasps, yet it affected Jacaerys all the same. “Finish for me, I need to see you, I- show me Y/N.” Jacaerys grunted through his words and that was the only encouragement you needed to allow yourself to topple over the edge. You worked your middle and third finger into your pussy, eyeing Jacaerys’ movement up and down his cock and matching the fast pace, picturing his cock filling you up. You looked up to Jacaerys’ eyes to see them already on your face, watching you. The eye contact was enough to feel the coil inside of you tighten with each thrust of your fingers before it snapped sending a shattering orgasm over your body. A flurry of moans left your lips along with repeating Jacaerys’ name like he might forget it. Jacaerys could not hold out any longer and moaned your name as he finished, white cum leaking from his big cock. A few final slow strokes left him sighing with satisfaction as his head dropped back into the pillows.

You lay on your back, completely spent feeling a wave of tiredness wash over you. The bed dipped beside you as Jacaerys joined you at the end of the bed, grabbing the towel you had hastily flung onto the footboard before. He gently patted the towel against your wet thighs and the wet patch that had formed underneath you before cleaning his stomach off and dropping the towel by the bath. He lay beside you and you rolled onto your side and let your back face him as he pulled you into his grasp. “I wish you could stay, Jacaerys. That was what I was desperate for, but falling asleep in your arms is what I need.” You sigh half solemn. He places long kisses on your back and nape, tickling you slightly. “Four days, then you will be my wife and I will never leave this bed ever again if you so command it.” He said jokingly, but you know you could get him to live in a bed with you if you asked sweetly. Every time your eyes shut, they closed for even longer and Jacaerys noticed. “Y/N,” he whispered. “I must return to my own room before morning.” You sat up slightly and yawned before nodding. Jacaerys collected his jacked off of the floor and walked round to your side of the bed and held out his hand. You took your hand in his and pulled yourself up off of the bed and let him lead you to the door. He opened it a crack and peaked out in both directions before opening the door fully and turning back to you. “I look forward to seeing you tomorrow.” He smiled playfully. You squeezed his hand and placed a small kiss on his lips. You wanted to savour Jacaerys before he was back to being 'your grace'. He tucked a rogue strand of hair behind your ear, “Beautiful.” He whispered, letting his thumb linger on your cheek. You blushed under his tenderness and affection. “Goodnight my Y/N.” he said returning his hands to his sides. “Goodnight Jacaerys.” You said smiling at him, your heart feeling full. You both stole final glances at each other before he rounded the corner into the rest of the castle. You shut the door and sighed, glancing over the strewn bed reminiscing on the events of the night. You blew out the candle on the table beside your bed and snuggled into the sheets. The pillows and blankets still lingered with the smell of Jacaerys. You couldn’t wait to be his wife.

422 notes · View notes

lovemouche · 3 months

Text

lovesick all over my bed ౨ৎ

satoru x fem reader

18+ / mdni

It was never meant to end up like this.

Satoru had stated the boundary of no strings attached prior to entangling himself with you — metaphorically and, quite literally too. The relationship was meant to start and end with physicality only. That was the one rule he made sure to implement for himself. That was where he drew the line.

"Y-yes. right there. Please."

And yet, these days, he's been finding himself caught in the cavern of a predicament, worn down to the point where he can't think of much, besides tangled limbs and open mouthed kisses, hot and wet as he'd breathe heavily against your form. Worn down to the point where he can't think of anything else besides you.

Even now, as you lay underneath him, needy and bare, shaped like a deity, challenging the outline of divinity, he's still thinking of you. Always.

And it's driving him crazy, consuming every waking thought of his. Because he just doesn't know how it all led up to this. Satoru can't fathom how an inkling of affection he dismissed as nothing more than a momentary impulse burgeoned into something more profound. Into something so alarming. Into—

No.

No. No. No.

No. He doesn't want to name the emotion just yet. He can't. Labelling it just solidifies his fear into truth, and the prospect that the feeling blossoming inside his chest aligns with what he’d dreaded feeling the most crosses every boundary he had set for himself.

Love, the most twisted curse of all.

"Ah, Satoru—"

The call of his name drags him out of his reverie. It's whispered softly against his skin, flushed as he clings to you desperately, secure enough to hold you in place, but never too much to hurt you.

"Yeah?" he asks tentatively, his movements being put to a pause. After loosening his grip around your body, he shifts the bend of legs on the mattress to keep his weight from overwhelming you. "You okay, princess?"

His hand travels from the curve of your waist to trace the outline of your jaw, carefully and, much too lovingly for someone who's only meant to use you for emotional release. "Does anything hurt?" he asks, thumbing the apple of your cheek with gentle strokes, noticing how you shiver under the touch.

You shake your head, but it's not enough to convince him otherwise; the lack of a verbal response only has his mind flooding with concern even more, especially because you've never stopped him mid-sex. Not once in the entire seven months of your arrangement.

"Talk to me," he encourages.

Instinctively, you lay your hand on top of the one toying with your cheek, your fingertips lightly rubbing at his knuckles in an attempt to calm him down. Satoru feels his chest constrict. It's not a big gesture, he knows. But it feels so intimate—so sweet.

Anyone would assume he would've gotten used to it by now, but even with familiarity and time, everything you do only seems to make his heart race even more.

He's grateful the dim lights don't manage to catch the flush beginning to spread throughout his features, but he's certain you can feel the way his cock hardens inside you, even if you don't comment on it—which he's also grateful for.

God, he's hopeless.

The control you have over him is dangerous, he realizes. Part of him wants to pull away before any damage can be done. But the other, bigger part welcomes the peril with open arms.

"It's just..." you trail off, letting out a sigh of frustration as you try to find the right words.

"Should I pull out?"

"No," you huff, tone authoritative. Out of reflex, your legs tighten around him, thighs caging his waist to keep him in place—because you definitely don't want him to pull out. Not with how good he's filling you up right now. "Just... shut up for now."

Satoru acquiesces to your request. Despite his reservations, he nods, albeit a bit reluctantly, and makes a testament to his obedience by pretending to zip his mouth up with pinched fingers.

"You just... seem a little out of it nowadays, like you're distracted. So I wanted to know if you were okay."

You take a brief pause. Satoru waits with bated breath.

"We're friends too, you know? You can talk to me about these things. It doesn't always have to be sex," you add softly, probing gently to gauge the situation while making sure to leave enough room for him to make the decision to open up. Because really, he doesn't owe you any explanation.

He doesn't owe you anything at all.

Satoru feels his heart swell, pressing up against his sternum, too big for his chest—everything he feels for you is too much for him to carry.

I know, he thinks bitterly to himself. That's the problem. I don't want to be your friend anymore.

But he doesn't want to lose you either, and he knows that if he let the dam break, if he let loose every emotion he's been struggling to keep at bay, he'd only ruin everything.

He'd lose you. And he'd lose himself in the process.

So Satoru parries your question with ease, because honesty isn't his forte—both towards you and himself.

"Nothing's wrong," he insists, raising an arm to pin your hand up against the bedsheet, intertwining your fingers with his. "Don't worry."

Resting his forehead on top of your sweat kissed one, he resumes his movements languidly. "Just...just focus on how good I'm making you feel, o—oh—okay?"

He trips on his words at the sensation of being sucked in and out of your sweet cunt, and he prays—god, he prays—that the feeling of being inside you is enough to compensate for not having you entirely, even if just for a moment.

But it's not enough, and Satoru can't help but feel that it never will be.

He slides in and out of you, his desire heavy. And you moan in response, chest rising from the laboured breaths that follow each sinful thrust, hips gyrating automatically to match his pace.

And it feels good. It feels so fucking good. But the pleasure isn't enough to cloud his senses and dispel his anxiety. Because he's looking at you and his heart is already tugging at its seams. And Satoru feels helpless.

And he's not sure what it is—if it's the high that ensues being wrapped around your tight walls, or the way you fit so perfectly against him, as if you were made to be held by him, as if he was made just to hold you—but something about tonight has him desperate for more than just late night messages that lead to loveless fucking.

Something about tonight has him desperate for all of you. Mind and body, heart and soul.

The notion is heady, and the revelation steals his breath. It roots itself inside his chest and demands his attention, aching to be acknowledged.

He's so caught up in his head, so lost in thought that he doesn't even register the fact that his movements have been put to a halt and his cock has stilled inside you. Not until you press a shaky palm to his chest in worry.

"Hey," you breathe out. "What's wrong?"

Satoru has to bite his tongue to refrain from telling you that: everything is. There are so many things he wants to tell you, but he's scared it'll poison every next moment. He's scared he'll lose you in the only way he knows he can have you.

Everything is wrong, he wants to say.

Instead, he stays quiet.

There an ugly feeling gathering in the pit of his stomach. He wants, so badly, to say something—anything. But he can't. The only reaction he can offer you is the widening of eyes, and his mouth parting in shock before his lips purse into a disappointed frown.

Being in... fuck he'll name it. Being in love shouldn't indemnify him from acting like an idiot, but love has a way of blurring all reason, all rationality.

He waits for you to speak again, unwilling to break the silence himself—too afraid of what might follow, too afraid that you've already seen right through him.

And he feels pathetic, of course, for being reduced to such a scattered mess, because he's supposed to be the strongest. And for the most part, he is. He really is. But when it comes to you, he can't seem to live up to that title. When it comes to you, he can't seem to be anything else but yours.

The yearning—to mean something more to you, to be everything to you—settles in his bones. It's draining his soul. He's standing on the edge of a cliff, left to teeter somewhere in between unbridled emotion and self restraint. It's a precarious position to be placed in, and he's hanging by a mere thread.

Seconds stretch into what feels like an eternity. The air feels like it's heavy with impending demise, and the silence engulfs him like black tar. It's suffocating, to say the least. Satoru isn't sure if he wants to prolong the moment or get it over with. He feels his heart pound against his chest—that treacherous thing.

So when you finally say something, he breaks.

"Satoru, what's wrong?"

He falls apart.

"I'm sorry," he chokes out, voice timid and exceptionally apologetic, head hanging low in refusal to meet your eyes. The sight of him is pitiful; you can't, for the life of you, understand why.

It's strange seeing Satoru in such a vulnerable state. Not because you don't assume he doesn't have his own baggage to carry, but because you never thought he'd be willing to expose this side of himself to you.

It's everything out of the ordinary, like witnessing god crumble at your feet, or having an executioner beg to be pardoned for all his killings.

"I'm sorry," he repeats. Only this time, it feels more resigned, like he's admitting defeat. It almost feels like he's apologising to you. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry."

But how could that be? and why would it ever be?

"What? Sat—ah."

Satoru falls slack on top of you, pressing the weight of his body against yours. He buries his head into the crook of your neck, chin moving to rest on your shoulder as he evades your gaze. You feel his hands travel south as he continues whispering a mantra of apologies into your skin.

It's a vain endeavour, trying to lift yourself up to get him to talk to you properly. The grip on your hip keeps you anchored, leaving you no room for anything other than compliance; it's as if he's scared you'll leave if he lets go even for a second.

And honestly, he is.

"Satoru. Don't be like this please."

"I'm sorry," is all he says.

"Satoru, look at—"

"No."

"Look at me."

"I'm an idiot."

"No," you interject. "You are not."

"But I am." It's muffled, his voice. A Little shaky too. "I know I'm an idiot, so don't," he pleads. "Don't look at me. I don't want you to see me right now. I can't."

"You need to tell me what's wrong."

"You're going to hate me. I'm going to ruin everything."

"How?"

"I'm sorry."

"Satoru."

"I'm sorry," he repeats, his grip on you tightening, fingernails digging soft crescents into your skin. "I'm sorry; I got too greedy."

Your eyebrows pinch.

Satoru can practically feel your confusion, and he wants to die, because you don't get it. You just don't get it. Not at all. Not one bit. Not until he whispers five words that knock all the air out of your lungs:

I love you. I'm sorry.

There's a pregnant pause, hesitant, unsure. And then:

"Wha—what? No. You—you're lying."

Satoru shakes his head in disagreement, vehemently refusing your claim.

Lying? How could he ever lie about such a thing? He could feign indifference at most, try to brush past it and let the feeling linger until it subsides. But he can't, and it hasn't, and he's tired of pretending that he doesn't love you anymore. Because he does. He loves you too much to push those feelings away.

"It's true," he admits. "I—I tried not to... you know? I tried not to—fuck, I'm sorry."

The confession should have lifted the burden, or at the very least, eased it. But his lips struggle to form words, and his heart ricochets against his ribcage.

"Look at me," you implore.

"No."

He's certain you must hate him now. That by tomorrow, or tonight even, he'll leave the place—the person—he's associated with home as nothing more than a stranger.

Even worse, a mistake.

"Please?"

But your arms crawl to wrap around his torso, and your legs squeeze around his own in silent reassurance, like you're trying to convey to him that you're not going anywhere. And if that isn't enough to convince him to listen, Satoru doesn't know what is.

When he finally raises his head, your eyes linger on the contours of his face, studying his crestfallen expression. He's anguished, that's for sure. You just can't wrap your head around the fact that it's probably you who's causing his misery.

Because Satoru is... well, Satoru—he's the strongest.

So who are you to be able to wreck him this much?

"Do you..." you swallow, still unconvinced, words quieting down to a whisper. "Do you really love me?"

Without looking at you, Satoru nods. it's not enough of an answer, though.

"Tell me, please."

He lets out a slow, shuddering exhale, chest stuttering on his next breath. He's silent for a few seconds, thinking. Until finally, with a slight crack to his voice, he says. "I do." very tremulously. "I love you."

Which is painful to admit, because he doesn't even know what to do now that it's been said. Satoru's not sure how he can give you something he's never been shown. He's not even sure if he deserves it, or if you'll even want his affection.

But there's so much of it, so much love growing in his chest that he fears it'll crack his ribs. So he's willing to try, even if it might ruin him in the process,

He's willing to do anything, so long as it's for you.

It's as simple as that, really.

"You're lying. I—you can't be serious."

Well, maybe not really.

"I am." Satoru nods pathetically, like a wounded puppy, like his heart is in tatters because you can't believe him even after he's laid himself so embarrassingly bare like this. "I love you."

"But you said—"

"I know," Satoru interrupts, and his lips are bowed. "I know. I'm a hypocrite. I got too selfish. But I can't help it anymore, I'm sorry. I love you too much to push these feelings away."

Satoru feels every muscle in your body go stiff at the admission. You're rendered speechless, once again; hesitant in your words, even more so in your actions. And he feels like he's made a grave mistake, that right then and there, he's ruined everything—he's lost you.

But then the right corner of your mouth quirks, hinting at the faintest of smiles, and an obtrusive feeling of hope sparks within him, fizzling out his nerves like cheap soda.

"Why would you be sorry?" you scold, flicking his forehead. "The only thing you should be sorry about is worrying me. Do you know how scared I was seeing you go MIA while you were still inside me?"

"I'm still inside," he reminds you.

You groan. "this is not the time."

"I know." He frowns, but the tension from earlier is nowhere to be found, and Satoru feels even more at ease now that you've begun playing with his hair, twirling the strands between your fingers. "I'm sorry. I don't really know what else to say."

"You don't need to say anything else."

"Really?"

"Yeah."

"You aren't upset or anything?"

"Why would I be?"

"I don't know." He lowers his head to rest on top of your chest, all watery and emotional, pressing his cheek just above where your heart lies to find solace in the rhythmic pitter patter of beats. "I just expected you'd be mad or... disappointed, you know?"

"Well I'm not, so don't worry about anything, okay?"

"Okay," he hums.

You don't say anything after that. Neither does he. It's quiet for a while, and you take the time to think while basking in the afterglow of such a raw moment.

It's all still so surreal.

You feel like the universe is playing a prank on you, like Satoru's orchestrating a sick, cruel joke to mess with your system. But you're cradling his head in your hand, lovingly tracing arbitrary shapes on his scalp, and you swear you can hear how fast his heart is racing.

It's in tandem with yours.

And perhaps, that's all that matters.

Maybe you were an idiot not to have realised it sooner. Maybe you were just in denial too. But it's as clear as day now, and you really can't deny the fact that it has always felt like you and Satoru were made for each other. Because when you take his hand into yours, and it feels like the spaces between your fingers were shaped just to hold him like this, you're certain that it's always been more than just sex.

"Satoru?"

"Yeah?"

"Me too."

He gives you a quizzical look. You smile.

"I love you too."

#writing #gojo x reader #gojo fluff #jujutsu kaisen x reader #jujutsu kaisen fluff #jujutsu kaisen #reader insert #gojo smut

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hugs4neth · 2 months

Text

We need to talk about how much physical disability affects your ability to function in a desk job/school. Especially pain. Like have you ever tried to write a proposal or essay while in pain? Or even just an itch?

It consumes your mind until you can’t focus on anything.

And yet we expect people with chronic pain to function at the same mental level as abled people. Like yeah I’m smart enough for this.

But have you ever tried to participate in a meeting with spikes on your chair? You know that sitting down is causing the pain, but if you stand up then it’s unprofessional and no one will take anything you say seriously. Every thought, every action has to complete with the constant chanting of pain.

Pain, pain, pain, pain, pain, pain, pain, pain, pain, pain, pain, pain.

It never goes away, it never stops. It changes, sure. It wriggles around and it shifts and it ebbs and flows. But it doesn’t stop.

If I want to be productive, I have to take pain meds. But I can’t take them all the time because I’ll give myself stomach ulcers. The side effects for NSAIDs include dizziness, drowsiness, headaches, and long term use can cause permanent liver damage and affect your circulatory system.

Overdoses cause seizures, trouble breathing, and loss of consciousness.

But taking 2 tablets every 4 hours won’t last all day because you can’t take more than 6 tablets a day, and you should really only take four.

And the alternatives are pretty much all addictive. Doctors won’t prescribe them, and

Do you get it yet? There are no good options. There’s no escape. Pain is simply the constant.

Maybe you think the consistency would make it less noticeable, that you can acclimate to it. But pain is pain. Sure, I have a higher pain tolerance than most people. But that doesn’t make it go away. My 10 is higher than most people’s 10, but the 5 still hurts like hell. 1 out of 10 pain is still pain.

So please, let’s talk about this. Let’s talk about how physical disability affects non-physical activities too.

Edit: 7 days later I'm still trying to write the essay that triggered this post. 7 days later I'm in tears over this fucking essay because every single word I write causes me indescribable amounts of pain but I can't get an extension because no one ever talks about this, and I'm too young to have a disability, and I was able to do this a few weeks ago, and if I can't do this I'll never be able to do anything ever again because if I can't sit in bed and write an essay then I can't do anything because this was the last thing I had left, and if I can't do it now but I can do it in the future then I'll have been lying, and literally just typing this edit is making my pain worse but I have to be heard because otherwise I don't know what I'll do.

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lonely-cowboy · 4 months

Text

beautifully human

pairing: connor (rk800) x f!reader

summary: after noticing the way connor looks at other androids, you worry that you may never have a chance with him. but what you don't know is that he has only ever had eyes for you.

word count: 2.9k

warnings: insecure reader, mentions of death (they literally talk about dying in an elevator) (spoiler alert: it doesn't happen), probably ooc connor, west coast dialect went a little too hard in the dialogue, some very specific physical descriptions that i also tried to keep as general as possible? you'll see what i mean ig

author's note: glad to report that this account is lowkey helping me get over my writer's block, so that's amazing for me. anyway. as usual, feel free to leave any critiques on how i can improve my writing, characterization, etc.! :)

masterlist ⟡ requests

You hated that your investigation brought you to the Eden Club. You didn’t necessarily hate the Eden Club or its workers, but you hated that you had to go with Connor and Hank. It would’ve been embarrassing enough to go with just Hank, but adding Connor to the mix made you want to collapse to the ground and never move again. But you were a professional, so if you had to go with Connor and Hank then you could suck it up for a night. Hopefully.

The moment you stepped inside the club, you were filled with unease. Your stomach churned and your shoulders scrunched up high as if you were trying to hide from the world. To handle your discomfort, you turned cold and distant, observing everything and everyone with an icy glare. You trailed behind Hank and Connor as you scanned your surroundings, doing your very best to look at everything but Connor.

You couldn’t look at Connor in this place without being filled with a displaced sense of anger. You couldn’t help but wonder if he looked at these androids with infatuation or desire. Did he find them beautiful? Did he want them in the same way you wanted him? You knew they were stupid thoughts, but you couldn’t control them. Somehow, Connor had weaseled his way into your heart and refused to leave no matter how hard you tried.

Distracted by your foggy mind, you almost bumped right into Connor when he stopped to admire a Traci, his soft gaze exploring her body through the glass barrier. You watched as the Traci smiled gently at him, her hand reaching forward to touch the glass like she was trying to caress his cheek. Connor didn’t move to reciprocate her action, but he still appeared to be in awe. It only made your scowl deepen.

You hated that you were consumed by jealousy because you knew– deep down– that it stemmed from insecurity. This Traci was made to be beautiful. She was made to be desired and worshipped. In her limited clothing, there wasn’t much left to the imagination. Her body was the epitome of perfect with its soft curves and smooth skin. She was a perfect balance of sweet and charismatic. She was everything that you assumed a man wanted, and androids were no exception. From the way Connor looked at her, you were sure she was everything he wanted too.

You sighed in frustration before marching away as Hank called to Connor. You refused to let your jealousy– or anything you felt for Connor– get in the way of your investigation. But no matter how hard you tried, your mind was still drawn to him.

Maybe you had been too hopeful, but you really had thought that maybe– just maybe– Connor had felt something for you. Apparently, you were just far more delusional than you thought.

While Hank discussed the crime scene with Officer Miller, you stood to the side looking uncharacteristically cold. With your arms folded over your chest and a hard, almost bored look in your eye, it was clear that you weren’t particularly interested in talking to anyone. You assumed that would be obvious to everyone, androids included. And it seemed that it had been obvious, but that certainly didn’t stop Connor.

From the corner of your eye, you could see Connor watching you with a confused glint. His LED flashed yellow as he analyzed your body language, working to only make your blood boil. You knew there was no reason to be angry with him, so why did your anger persist? Why did you feel so unreasonably jealous? He was just a man, after all, nothing more.

Connor approached you with his hands clasped behind his back, standing beside you and following your cold gaze. He was silent for a moment, pleased to simply be in your presence even when you were acting so stony.

“You’re unusually quiet, Detective,” Connor observed. “This is not within your typical behavioral patterns. Are you feeling alright?”

“I’m fine,” you answered dismissively. “Don’t you have a body to analyze?”

Connor paused again, pursing his lips in a way that was so oddly human. In a gentle tone, he said, “Well… yes. But that’s usually something we do together.”

“Why?” you hissed, feeling suddenly riled now that Connor was talking to you. Why was he giving you this attention? Why was he acting like he cared about you? You knew he didn’t. At least, your clouded mind let you think he didn’t. “It’s not like you need my help. You can do everything on your own, I’m useless to you.”

Connor turned his body towards you fully, a deep crease settling between his brows. His LED continued to circle yellow as he studied you once again. That made you roll your eyes which seemed to be enough of a hint for Connor. With his LED still glowing yellow, he turned away without another word, allowing you to resume your wallowing in misery.

───── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ─────

You were still fuming as Hank drove you home. With Connor in the front seat, you were stuck in the back, glaring daggers into his back. How had such a clueless android managed to lure you in and make you jealous purely because he wasn’t interested in you?

As Connor jabbered on about something or other, you stared out the car window absentmindedly. You couldn’t help but imagine the Traci on the other side of the window, reaching out and smiling that perfect smile that made you never want to smile again.

You glanced at Connor as he fell silent. He turned to look out the window, making you cringe at the idea that he truly was thinking of the Traci. But you failed to notice his eyes transfixed on you through the side mirror, his gaze gentle and curious as he admired your stubborn look. He stared at you dreamily the rest of the car ride.

When you finally reached your apartment building, Hank had barely stopped the car before you were clambering out and slamming the door behind you.

“I’ll see you tomorrow,” you grumbled, having enough decency to give Hank a small wave.

As you trudged towards your apartment building, you froze at the sound of another car door opening and closing. You cursed under your breath, hesitant to turn for fear of whom you might find. As you glanced over your shoulder, you cursed again as your fear came true. Connor approached you with long strides, leaving behind a very confused-looking Hank.

“I’ll walk you to your apartment,” Connor offered innocently.

You stared at him blankly and muttered, “Connor, my building is right here. I just need to go up a few floors. I know how to use an elevator, I’ll manage just fine on my own.”

You turned and continued towards your building, not surprised when you heard Connor follow.

“The chances of an elevator-related death are one in 10.5 million,” Connor continued in that matter-of-fact tone that you usually found so endearing.

When Connor didn’t elaborate, you stopped and turned to him again with a raised brow. You waited for more, but it still didn’t come. Connor just stared at you pleasantly, drinking in your charmingly confused face.

“Okay…,” you said. “So like I said, I’ll be fine on my own.”

“But the chance of it happening is still possible, so it’s best if I escort you,” Connor continued. His grin widened as you rolled your eyes in acceptance. As an afterthought, he added, “Just in case.”

In silence, the two of you made your way up the elevator (where you did not, in fact, die) and to your apartment. You stood outside the door and turned to Connor, ready to send him away in the hopes that if you couldn’t see him then you wouldn’t be overwhelmed by images of him and that Traci. But you knew that wasn’t the case because even when he was long gone you would still think about how you couldn’t be enough for him. You weren’t pretty enough for such an angelic being like him, not when other beautifully crafted androids existed.

“May I come in?” Connor inquired before you could even open your mouth.

No.

You wanted to say no so desperately. You wanted him to leave. You wanted to bury yourself under your bed sheets and never see him again.

But he was still your friend, and you were still a decent enough person. It would be rude to reject him.

“Sure,” you replied softly, opening the door to allow the two of you in.

The moment you closed the door, Connor was already asking questions that you were not at all prepared for.

“You were upset today,” he noted. “Do you want to talk about how you feel?”

“I… what?” you stammered. “Since when are you a therapist android?”

“I’m not a therapist android, but as your companion, I care about your well-being,” Connor answered far too casually for your liking.

Companion? Well-being?

“Yeah, I doubt that,” you mumbled without thinking.

You were stupid to think Connor wouldn’t have heard you. With his sensitive hearing, he heard you loud and clear. Your comment made him tilt his head curiously and narrow his eyes.

“Why would I not care about you?” he asked, the genuine confusion in his voice making your resolve melt.

“That’s not… it’s just…,” you blabbered, throwing your hands up in exasperation as you struggled to find the right words. “I wouldn’t expect you to care about me the same way–”

You stopped abruptly, eyes wide as your mind finally caught up to your yapping mouth. You could not finish that sentence.

Connor’s eyes narrowed further at your sudden pause. He took a cautious step forward, then another. You knew that he had already noticed the way your heartbeat accelerated, your breath suddenly caught in your throat. “The same way… what?” he repeated, urging you to finish your sentence.

“It’s nothing, it’s stupid,” you dismissed.

Connor murmured your name as if he were scolding a child, raising a brow as a sign of encouragement to finish.

“Well… I wouldn’t expect you to care about me… the same way… the same way I care about you,” you said, the last part coming out far too hurried.

Maybe if you had just finished your sentence the first time you wouldn’t be in this situation. That was a perfectly normal thing to say to a friend, wasn’t it? Absolutely. Absolutely… But the way you had paused only made you look more suspicious. You knew Connor was smart enough to understand the suggestion of romantic feelings.

“How is it you feel about me?” Connor questioned.

“It doesn’t matter, you wouldn’t feel the same anyway,” you muttered, pushing past him to be anywhere that wasn’t near him.

Before you could get too far, Connor’s iron grip wrapped around your wrist and held you in place. You looked at him with offense, but he knew you meant nothing by it.

“It does matter, Detective,” he whispered lowly. “It matters to me.”

There was no going back now. Connor already got the hint that you cared for him more than you probably should. You might as well say it outright. That was better than being embarrassed and pretending nothing happened. Right?

“I like you, Connor,” you admitted, the words sounding childish in your mouth. “God, this is so embarrassing…”

Connor was silent for a long moment, making you wonder if he actually had figured it out. If he hadn’t… God, you would be mortified. Did he really not know, and you just willingly outed yourself to him?

You risked a peek at Connor to find him already looking at you with a small smile. His hand was still holding your wrist tightly, his skin comfortingly warm against your burning skin. The glint in his eyes made your brows furrow as heat rose to your cheeks.

“Why would you think I don’t care about you?” Connor asked, the quirk of his lips telling you that he found all of this somewhat amusing.

“I mean… yeah, I would think that you care about me. On some level. I’d assume…,” you prattled. “But as a friend, obviously. Connor, I’m not sure you understand what I mean when I say I like–”

“I understand perfectly well, Detective,” Connor interrupted. “So I’ll pose the question once again: why would you think I don’t care about you?”

The confusion was clear on your face. Tilting your head to the side, you turned your body to face Connor slightly, giving him the opportunity to lightly pull your wrist until you were completely facing him. Even when he had you standing where he wanted, he still didn’t let go of your wrist, though he loosened his grasp and held you lightly. You could feel his thumb rubbing along your inner wrist soothingly. Your knees felt weak, and you were sure you were going to collapse against him at any second. His touch was so loving that you almost believed he could feel the same way.

You nearly forgot Connor had asked you a question until he gave your arm a light squeeze that snapped you back to attention. He arched both eyebrows, watching you with that humorous glint.

“I just… Well…,” you faltered. You inhaled sharply, gathering your thoughts before you continued. “I just can’t understand how or why someone like you would be interested in someone like me when there are so many better options. Yeah, I guess… I guess that’s it. I don’t know…”

“Better options?” Connor repeated. The obvious confusion in his voice warmed your heart. It was as if he had never even considered that there could be better options.

“Well, yeah,” you shrugged. “I’m no android, Connor. I’m not… I’m not perfect. I’m not beautiful or stunning or gorgeous. I’m not like that girl you were looking at.”

There was another long pause as Connor struggled to process your words. His LED spiraled yellow as he questioned, “What girl?”

“The Traci,” you explained in exasperation, “at the Eden Club. It looked like you were practically in love with her, and I don’t blame you. She’s the definition of perfect. Not a single flaw in sight.”

“You think you’re flawed?” Connor asked immediately. That was his biggest takeaway?

“Yes, obviously, Connor! I am! And I just find it very hard to believe that someone as beautiful as you could be attracted to someone as… average as me,” you snapped, sounding harsher than you intended.

Connor released your wrist, and for a moment you worried that you scared him off. But then his warm hands were holding your cheeks, his thumbs now slowly running along your cheekbones. He stepped forward until his body was pressed against yours, leaning down until his forehead was nearly touching yours. His eyes latched onto yours, and for a moment, he just held your gaze in silence. He was reveling in the sight of you, so close to him that he could feel your sweet breath against his lips.

“It seems you don’t realize how beautiful you are,” he murmured. “Perhaps I’ll have to explain it to you.”

Connor paused again, searching your eyes for any effort to argue. But you were still so stunned by his sudden proximity that you had nothing to give. When he heard no contradiction, Connor smiled and continued on.

“Maybe you don’t think you’re perfect,” he started, “but I do. Everything you see as a flaw, I see as beautiful. It makes you you. It makes you so… human. And maybe you can’t understand because of it, but there’s something so pure about being human. Just being human makes you beautiful. But you… you’re different. You’re above them all.”

There was a strangely desperate look in Connor’s eyes like he was pleading with you to understand. Exhaling slowly, he leaned forward and rested his forehead against your own. He closed his eyes, his LED shifting from yellow to blue and back again as he tried to sift through the swarm of emotions.

“I don’t know why it’s you, but it is,” he whispered, his voice nearly too quiet for you to hear. “I just can’t help but notice everything about you. I love the wrinkles on your forehead when you’re confused to the point of frustration. I love when only one side of your hair is brushed because you’re too lazy to brush the other. I love when your lip bleeds because you’re biting it while you’re thinking and you don’t even notice. I love…”

Connor stopped and pulled back slightly, his hands still resting on your cheeks. His LED circled red once, the worry on his face far too obvious to your keen eyes. When you didn’t say anything, Connor tried to pull away, but you didn’t let him.

Your hands quickly moved to rest over top his, holding him in place. You looked up at him with eyes full of admiration and wonder as if an angel had come and graced the earth. Maybe that’s what he was, an angel. You would believe it. With that pretty face and those sweet words, you could easily be fooled.

As you eyed Connor’s face, the corners of your lips quirked into a smile. Maybe you could be enough for him. He seemed to think so. It was that thought alone that drove you to lean forward and press the faintest of kisses to Connor’s lips. It was barely a peck, and as you pulled away, Connor leaned forward to chase after your warmth. The gesture made you laugh as you whispered against his lips.

“I love how human you are.”

#detroit become human #connor x reader #dbh connor x reader #rk800 x reader #dbh connor #connor rk800

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nexysworld · 18 days

Text

Dead Dove, Content Entitlement, and Fandoms

There's been no end of posts clogging up popular fandom tags with arguments and opinions on dark content, dead dove, and related things. While I've seen some decent posts that go over media literacy and dark content, I personally feel like none fully encompass my entire feelings on this nor provide all the points that I feel are important.

I know people have strong feelings on this subject, and I'm not expecting to immediately change anyone's minds. But I hope maybe I can toss some food for thought out there, or provide further context from both a victim of SA as well as a content creator. This has been bothering me for a while now to the point where it has been making me no longer want to write or engage in fandoms on Tumblr, and so I needed to get this out there with my stance. I've also had people in my inbox stating that my dark content is somehow morally better than other writer's dark content. TW: Mentions of dark content including discussions of noncon/dubcon, harassment, SA, etc.

Addressing Common Points

If you write or consume [INSERT CONTENT], you're romanticizing and endorsing it and that makes you a bad person. Or, you're weird/wrong/gross for it. I see this brought up primarily with dubcon/noncon topics. It should go without saying, but fiction is fantasy, it's separate from real life. Adults who consume this type of content understand that these things are NOT ok in real life. But to take it a step further, I want to stress that having noncon fantasies is actually INCREDIBLY common. In studies regarding these fantasies, nearly 50% or more of people who participated admitted to having fantasies that align with these topics the majority of which are women. Not only that but these kinds of fantasies are even more common in people who have been victims of these crimes. This isn't some niche thing only liked by a minority of people. If you don't believe me here's an example of ONE study, but there's plenty of easily accessible information out there. By conflating consuming/writing this content with someone's moral character stigmatizes these feelings further and does more harm than good. And I know what you're thinking though. But why? Why would someone who's gone through something like that fantasize about something so awful? Why is this appealing to anyone, victims or not? Fiction creates a safe space to explore topics. In fiction there are no real victims, no one is actually getting hurt, it's all fake. The characters aren't real and if at any point as the reader you are too uncomfortable to continue, you can stop and exit. You can like the idea of a fictional person tossing you around, while also feeling uncomfortable if a real life man tried to pick you up a the bar or didn't take no for an answer. There's also "normal" things you can fantasize about, but not want to participate in IRL.

Hypocrisy and what is considered dark content? This won't apply to everyone, but I've seen a number of people who claim to be anti-dark content but reblog things that are non consensual, perhaps without realizing it. And this is especially true for those who are younger on here. Please understand that noncon/dubcon does not inherently need to be violent or gory. Any situation in which there's a lack of consent or a power imbalance is inappropriate. Somno fics? If it's not explicitly stated that it was agreed upon prior in the fic, that is still non consensual even if it's written to be "sweet.", even if it's a pre-established relationship. Professor x student fics? There's power imbalance there. There's a reason you cannot have a relationship with your teachers in real life. Hybrid fics? Most people write hybrids as completely sentient people who are treated as sex slaves. They have little choice or are "following instinct." You cannot consent to someone who literally OWNS you after adopting you. You get the gist. There's far more to consent than physically manhandling someone. Yet because these things are written in a way that contextualizes them as being "sweet" and "normal", they aren't considered dark content by many people. If you're ok with the above, you have to understand that these ARE forms of dubcon/noncon. I would even argue that these are more romanticizing of these topics than stuff that's far more explicit in nature. If you would be pissed if your IRL partner tried to feel you up in your sleep, but enjoy somno fics, or enjoy the Taboo of Professor Leon, but wouldn't fuck your actual college professor - then that is the EXACT way in which people who enjoy even "darker" content can enjoy the fiction whilst not partaking in real life.

It sets a bad example for younger people on the website/"protect the children." Children shouldn't be looking at smut in general, dark content, vanilla content, etc. I don't know what else to tell you. It is NOT the job of content creators to try and police what teenagers do on the internet, that's between them and their parents. The majority of creators who make 18+ content explicitly state MDNI and block those younger than 18 if we discover them trying to interact with us. That is the most that we can and should be expected to do.

[INSERT CHARACTER] would NEVER act like that, it irritates me when people write them as OOC. Fanfiction is by definition NON canon. The only people who truly know how a character is supposed to act are the people who created those characters. But I want to add on to this, there are plenty of times in which a character acts entirely OOC even in fluffy or vanilla fanfiction. Every writer is going to have a different interpretation of how a character acts or thinks - and yet it's only really complained about when it's dark content. These characters are not real. Leon cannot be upset or hurt by people writing dark content about him, because he doesn't exist. Part of the fun of fanfiction, at least in my opinion as well, is justifying certain things within the context. Many dark content writers will and do explain why the character became how they are or why they think that way using canon as context - not that I think it's required because fanfiction can be whatever you want it to. The point is, dark content or not, not everyone will be on the same wavelength as you about your favorite character.

Even if you're a victim of SA or other crimes, you should get professional help, not read dark content. This is a very bad take in my opinion. Mental health care can be incredibly hard to get. Reading fanfiction is free, it's harmless. But genuinely, imagine you're a victim of a heinous crime, and you're already struggling with feelings regarding it - to then be mobbed by people online telling you that you're weird and wrong for having the feelings that you do? This is also in league with my first point, but having these feelings are actually VERY normal. This is a healthy way to process the emotions in a safe environment where no real person gets hurt, where you can leave whenever you want. Stigmatizing these things does hurt real people though.

You're hurting other people who're victims of these things. Look, if a fic is not properly TW then I fully understand. Every victim will have a different experience, and while some may be ok with dark content, others won't. So if you open a fic expecting it to be one thing and it's another, that's shitty. But tags are there for a reason. If you see something marked Noncon, and that's triggering for you, no one is expecting you to read it. And here's the thing with tags/tw's as well, everyone's trauma is different. Something that one person might not consider dark content, or is generally considered innocuous might trigger someone else. If you are one of those people who think even seeing the trigger warning could be harmful to people, then that's a prime example of WHY you must curate your own experience online. Block certain words, tags, and phrases to make sure you don't see them. But that's on YOU to do, not people who create content. Their only responsibility is to warn you about the contents of the content they've made, their responsibility stops beyond that point. You know what DOES affect real people besides the stigmatization of their feelings or kinks? Harassing them. Leaving hate comments, telling people to unalive themselves. These affect the mental health of the real people behind the content that you don't like. I've seen death and rape threats SENT to dark content writers.

Dark content in other forms of media. It's interesting to me that the majority of discussion around dark content comes from people criticizing fanfiction specifically. Take horror movies for example. The Saw Franchise, we'll say. Do you think the creators of that series want to enact those horrible things onto other people? Do you think they want to be the victims of Jigsaw themselves? What about people who watch content like that? You probably don't think that they do. There's TONS of movies, music videos, even horror novels that have incredibly, and I mean INCREDIBLY dark dead dove content - and yet most people understand that the appeal is in the taboo. That it's fiction. That people who consume THOSE forms of media don't want to participate in those things but do enjoy consuming that content. But when it's fanfiction it somehow becomes a problem.

Entitlement and demand of fandom content. In addition to all of the above, there is a major uptick in people complaining about the content within fandoms some not even relating to dark content. "There's too many stories where reader acts like X." "I hate how so many people characterize this person because that's now how they would act!" "Why is there so much smut? Why can't there be more of {insert what I want}". This is FREE content made by people who do this stuff as a hobby. No one owes you content, and no one HAS to write the way you want them too. If there's tons of content like that, then it's because it's popular. Perhaps your version of a character is in the minority opinion, and that's completely ok!

What's the solution to all of this discourse?

Be the change you want to see! If you feel like there's too many x reader fics where the reader doesn't act how you want - then write it the way you want. Do you have head canons about a series or character that you haven't seen discussed before? Make that post yourself! If you don't feel there's enough fluff in the fandom - then create some! And if you don't want to make content yourself - request it, commission it. Interact with your favorite writers! Encourage them, don't demand. Talk with them about their work, leave comments, and reblog, reblog, reblog!! Being a part of the discussion and interaction is the BEST way to help the community thrive. Surround yourself with the content that YOU want, curate YOUR experience. Block every dark content writer you see if it helps. Go into your Tumblr settings, block words, block tags. Don't set yourself up to be upset or bothered by the content you're getting. Even if you read the above and you still think every dark content writer is a horrendous, awful person - the best thing to do is still block them. Block their content. Harassing them and complaining on it will NOT stop that content from existing. But you will continue to upset yourself by not curating your own experience.

~~~~~~~~

If you made it through all that, thank you for reading. I want to add that my blog WILL continue in the future to have a mix of both dead dove and regular content. I also interact with other dark content blogs, so if you're someone who followed me because of my "regular" fics and want to unfollow/block me, I'm ok with that. <3

#nexyspeaks #Leon Kennedy x reader #resident evil #fandom culture #resident evil writers #resident evil x reader

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