#this took forever curse the media limit

[thisismeracing]

King of my heart | MS47 | part. 04

a/n: King of My Heart was supposed to be mainly a "normal" series, not much Social Media content, and though I like doing those chapters they limit my imagination at some point. So I decided to mix it, I'm going to alternate chapters, and we are gonna have the best of both worlds (or so I hope), seeing people react to Y/n and Mick's relationship but also having a privileged seat to watch their interactions and feelings unfold. This chapter is when their first interaction happened, a bit before the first chapter of the series. I hope you guys like it <3 let me know your thoughts and opinions.

Pairing: hamilton!reader (she/her) x mick schumacher

Warnings: curse words, fluff, not proofread etc etc. Minors DNI!

word count: 2.3k

part 03 | series masterlist | part 05

Summary: Mick Schumacher rode a lousy wave for quite some time, so when the sky gets cleaner and the sun brighter he just knows something terrible may be in store for him. Whereas y/n was just so magnetic, and the possibilities of life with her seemed better than anything his mind could ever create, that's why, for the first time in forever, he throws cautious carelessly through the window, hoping to get to the finish line before it catches up on him.

When Mick saw Y/n for the first time, he was curious and speechless, both things that are involved in the process of blooming love. He had no idea at the time, though in his head, maybe he was just excited to be in a new environment, a place that would embrace him, teach him, and accept him for who he was, not for his father's legacy, or an expectation based on a remote reality.

When she entered the room, he knew people kept talking, working, and breathing, yet he had no idea how because for him, it was different, it was the first time he saw her, and she was suddenly the center of his attention. Big brown eyes stared around everything, nut-brown hair around her head like a halo, full lips, a round nose, and brown skin. Y/n was breathtaking, and he only noticed he was holding his when a friend touched his shoulder. Mick directed his gaze to Lewis for a split second, and he felt lucky he, too, was looking at her. Otherwise, the Mercedes driver would likely see the weird way in which his friend seemed lost. And, of course, his coworker was looking at her too. Who would not want to look at her? They had to be crazy not to. If given the opportunity, Mick would stare at that woman the whole day, and he did not even know her name. So, yes, in his mind, it could only be explained as a curiosity. Although he comprehended very well what kind of curiosity it was and that, he had never really felt that, quite the opposite, he was usually doing his own thing and minding his business, and new people were welcome. And he was friendly, but he was not the type of person to seek someone’s attention or friendship, at least not so fast, not so intently. Y/n was not only a new person, but she was the bearer of new and strange feelings in the pit of Mick’s stomach. 

“Oh, she’s so sly, you see. She comes and goes around without people noticing. It scares me sometimes,” Hamilton spoke, smiling in her direction. Mick thought: how could she come and go unnoticed? The second the door opened, he could not take his eyes off her. 

“It’s a matter of practice,” she replied with a small grin. The way her lips folded looked almost artistic, like the final brushstroke in a work of art, when everything seems to fit together to create the final result, the bigger picture, “Now, how’s my favorite brother doing?” 

Mick did not even notice the way he finally took a breath of fresh air. She was not his friend’s girlfriend, although Mick did not know if her being his sister would make things any easier. 

“I’m your only brother Y/n,” Lewis reminded, and she huffed as if he was pointing out something unnecessary. 

“You can be my only and favorite brother, both things at the same time. Stop being so pokey,” she joked.

“Mick, this is Y/n, my baby sister,” he turned to Mick, who was able to recompose in seconds. He was a driver after all, he had to be fast and have good reflexes, “Y/n, this is Mick, my friend and work colleague.”

“Nice to meet you, Mick” She waved and made her grin wider, in fact, when their eyes met, her lips opened in a full big smile. It felt like watching a flower blossom, and it also felt like a gesture only for him.

“Likewise, Y/n.”

“I’ve heard you’re new around Mercedes. Welcome to the family.” 

“Feels like it indeed,” he grinned, “A family, I mean.” 

“It’s good to hear that. God knows this whole thing can be tough. You don’t need to have people making it worse,” she pointed, and that was all it took for Mick to know that Y/n was more than talkative, and honest. He was sure she would tell him the truth about whatever he asked, her genuine opinion, no holding backs.

Someone seemed to call Lewis, and he said something neither Y/n nor Mick could hear properly and then left. Her brown eyes were kept glued right into his ocean ones, almost daring him to deflect. He felt exposed to her, but in a good way, because for some reason, he wanted her to be capable of reading his thought through his eyes, “You’re, uh- it’s your first time in the paddock? I never saw you around before.” 

She offers him a small smile, looks at someone in the back, waves, and then turns her attention to his face again, “Nah, I’m here all the time, just away from the cameras and most of the eyes.” 

“Can I ask you why?” 

She shrugged, “I mean, of course you can. Am I gonna answer, though? That’s a different question,” Y/n joked, and Mick could only smile brighter and roll his eyes. 

“I-  I’m just curious,” he seems to breathe for a second when their eyes lock again, “about you,” he finishes.

“Yeah, me too,” it’s a whisper like she is telling it to herself, acknowledging that she, too, wants to know every little detail about him. Her eyes divert to an engineer that passes them, her hands go up like the last time, and she gives a gentle wave. “I like to be myself. I mean, I like to be Y/n Y/l/n. I hope you don’t get me wrong, I absolutely adore my brother and our family, but in some circumstances, your name can be a blessing and a curse” Y/n’s eyes searched for his again. She was waiting for the short nod he gave. A confirmation he understood the situation too, a way of demonstrating that she could keep going because he knew there was more to come. “I didn't want people to pin my success on my brother’s name, to say I had it easier just because he made it. The media loves to do that with women, saying they only made it because of a man or trying to pin hard work and talent as luck.” 

He nodded, “I get it. I used to do that when I was a bit younger, to use a different surname so people would not act differently or expect more than one hundred percent of me. It’s tiring. I can sympathize.” 

“A Schumacher, huh?” Y/n tatters before adding, “My brother told me a bit of what went on. For the record, it’s their loss. I’m sorry you had to go through such heartless people, but I’m glad they let you go so you can be here now,” so we could meet, so I could feel like drowning in your blue eyes, so that my body would feel lighter, she thought. 

“I’m happy to be here too. I don’t think I would change a thing,” Y/n watches as the tip of his tongue goes out to wet his pink, plush lips, the way his eyes dart quickly around her whole face.

“It gives you experience at the end of the day,” she is quick to point out, feeling a tad nervous.

Schumacher nods, and before he can ask one more question, to hear her quirk remarks one more time, someone shows up, calling him to look at something new they did in the car. 

“See you around, Mick,” she gives him that same half smile from a work of art before she touches his arm when passing. He could swear he shivered with the feeling of her skin against his. 

Y/n goes around, greeting some of the staff she is friends with before finally reaching Toto. He gives her a pointing look, and she rolls her eyes. The older man has always been really supportive of Y/n as well, they would always talk when she came to the paddock, and their conversations would go around about anything and everything. Yn always admired Toto’s leadership skills, and she was open about how she thought his kind of work not only asked you for the technical side but, most importantly, the human side. Toto was able to captivate Lewis, and he did just the same with Y/n. He was also one of the people who made sure her privacy and image were safe around the Mercedes garage. People respected him, so if Toto Wolff says, ‘nobody talks about the fact that Lewis has a sister and she’s here a lot’ that is precisely what happens: nobody would talk, or most of them would not. Y/n was aware her scheme of keeping this under wraps was collective work, and she was happy to be in a place where people liked her brother so much they chose to protect her too. 

“You took forever to show up this year. What happened?” he asked, taking off his headphones.

“A lot is going on with work, I’m launching a new collection soon, and you know I like to be in every step of the process, right?” 

“Literally,” he joked, pointing to her new shoes, which he knew were most likely from said new collection. Y/n would always use them as a test, making sure they were comfortable and safe for the customers. 

She jokingly rolled her eyes before adding, “Yeah, exactly, but doing this is quite difficult sometimes, especially when you want to be attentive to the human side of those who work with you.”

“You’re doing a great job, and I’m proud of how far you’ve come since the first time you appeared here, a small kid determined to do her own name,” he held her chin high, smiling. “Let me know when this new collection drops. I’m sure Susie would love to get one of every shape and color.” 

Her smile grew wider, she loved Susie Wolff, and she loved their love. They were very private, but Y/n has been around for long enough to know how big and strong their love is, and she enjoys watching it from the sidelines whenever they interact. 

“I will be sure to send some exclusives for her.” 

Toto gave her one of his side smiles and nodded before having to leave to attend to some problem, so Y/n made her rounds around, asking questions, interacting, and making sure to annoy her older brother every once in a while. She took some time aside and sat with some of the media crew to answer her work e-mails while they typed away creating content. It was refreshing to be in the Mercedes garage. The chaos worked perfectly well, and she always felt energized. 

When work was done and, it was time to leave, Y/n bid her goodbyes and did a small search with her eyes for a blond mop of hair, which did not go unnoticed by her brother. 

“He had to leave a bit earlier,” Lewis explained.

“What?” she asked, securing her laptop case and bag in one arm and starting her walk to the garage. Lewis knew it was her way of changing the subject, to shift the attention. 

“You’re my sister,” 

“It’s been twenty-one years. You would think this is an established fact by now,” Y/n was a fan of using humor as a coping mechanism too. 

“Mick is a driver,” he adds.

“Yeah, he’s like your teammate too now, right?” 

“He’s also my friend,” Lewis points.

“That’s good. He seems like a good friend to have around,” her curls bounce as she reaches his car and opens the back door to load her things there. 

“You’re deflecting, Y/n.” 

“And you are not stating your points with clarity, Lewis,” she let go of the door, shutting it in the sequence and opening the passenger one.

“I saw your interaction, saw your interest perhaps, you’re not aware of it, or you’re just trying to brush it off and lie to yourself, but I’m doing my job as the older brother and warning you: by dating someone famous you may have to give up some things, such as your privacy,” now they’re sitting inside the car, he’s facing her, and she’s looking ahead, a woof of air leaves her lips before she finally looks at her brother. “You know how the media is, and if they even sniff a new romance between you, a Hamilton, and Mick, a Schumacher, they won’t go easy. They will want all the details, and I trust the Mercedes people, but we don’t know everyone. There are new people always showing up. They can let it slip about you without intentions, share information without noticing.”

She opens her mouth to answer, but unlike the usual days, she doesn’t have anything ready to say. 

“And don’t forget the fact that he is my coworker, Y/n. If anything goes down the wrong path, you will either have to face him daily or lose my races. You will have to face your heartbreak every day. Do you remember Jonathan from high school? How you missed a week of classes when that fucker dumped you?! And then you had to finish the year there anyways, had to sit in the same class as him.”

“And I changed schools by the end of the semester,” she adds with a small nod. She understands his point, and she even agrees to some extent. However, she wanted to add that it was a different context, that Anthony was a douche, he never really liked her, and nobody in that school really did, this being the reason she decided to leave. She was a lot of things but not a coward, though she knew that was not what her brother was saying. She felt like reminding herself.

“I’m just trying to take care of you. I would hate to watch you suffer,” his voice is soft, and so are his eyes and hands when they reach through the center console to lace their fingers.

There’s a small smile of appreciation on her lips, “I love you, and I love how careful you are with me, but I’m not a kid anymore” She tightens her grip on his hand, and they share an attentive and agreeing look for some seconds when she adds, “And Mick is not Jonathan.” 

“That’s what scares me.” 

***********************

Make sure to have your age in your profile if you want to be part of the taglist! Don't forget to reblog and let me know your thoughts about this chapter <3 see ya next time *mwah*

wanna be tagged on my stories? click here

#king of my heart ms47 #f1 imagine #mick schumacher imagine #hamilton!reader #black!reader #mick schumacher x reader #black!reader x f1 #mick schumacher x black!reader #famous!reader #ms47

[morty-witch]

Vox x F!PopStar!Reader

A/N: Hello! This is my first ever fanfiction on tumblr and first ever fanfiction i wrote fully in english and i went kinda crazy with this prologue and went WAYYY over the signs limit. I will publish it in few parts and i'll link other parts to this one. Ily guys and i hope you enjoy it <3 This story will have few chapters, because i got a lot of ideas for it WARNINGS: Language, cursing, swearing, Valentino being Valentino, emotionally abusive boyfriend, mentions of cult, mentions of d3ath Y/N: YOUR NAME S/N: STAGE NAME

PROLOGUE 1 PROLOGUE PART 2 PROLOGUE PART 3

stop, you're losing me

PAST

Y/N and Vox got to know each other during their first days in hell. She was innocent, lovely doll in his eyes, even though she was in hell for a reason. She was practicing witchcraft, occultism, whatever you’d call it. That’s also how she died - she got killed by fanatics of different beliefs. Vox on the other hand was her prince charming. She adored every single thing about him and was fully commited to their relationship or whatever it was. He enjoyed how she played piano or guitar in their apartment while he was working, she was happily breaking the silence with her self-written songs practicing them to then sing it in some shabby restaurants. And everything was going well, Y/N thought she got someone to spend her hellish torment with, until everything went downhill and “forever” she wished for fell apart. ”Doll, i adore you, i really do, but what the fuck are you even thinking?” Vox asked, while looking at her notebook full of songs. “I know you like music and i never had anything against you having a little creative freedom and fun, but pursuing it as a career? Really?” he asked, visibly tired of this. For a second he thought he should never even allow her sing her little songs in those bars for little money, but that was making her happy and everytime she was coming home, he enjoyed seeing how energized and recharged she was. Little did he knew, that music was strongest medium of her power. ”I know what are you thinking, but music really will be worth the wait. I just need more…” she started, but then he just laughed annoyed. ”More what? Money? Time? What do you need this time?” asked, leaning his back on the countertop. Girl opened her lips to answer. They had this conversation way too many times, but every single time Y/N was enough of a good girl, she just apologized and they just came back to their everyday routine, but that time she was prepared to fight him, if she had too. ”Time. I need… More time. I got plan! I-I” She stuttered. YN got anxious just by seeing her lover in this state. As she was about to start explaining everything to her, as she took a deep breath, he snapped. “For fucks sake, Y/N, we are in fucking hell, nobody really cares about your cute little songs. Focus on making contracts and gaining power, not… this” his hands were moving violently and then he just took her notebook and burned it with one spark of electricity. That was it. She had enough. She looked at him with teary eyes and then just walked out, leaving her phone in their apartment, so he wouldn’t know where to find her. He called and cursed her name, said she was overreacting, but she was in amok, she heard nothing excepr for blood running through her vains and her heart pounding heavily like it was about to jump out of her chest. That was last time they spoke.

PRESENT

“Get ready you fuckers we have to be on the stadium in like 30 minutes” Velvette yelled, waiting for other Vee’s to get out of their rooms ready. She got them concert tickets for one of the biggest tours all around the Hell. This artist has been trending for years already and this is her first tour after longer break and it was all around social media. It was indeed a big event, so Velvette had to be there, as she is hells biggest trendsetter and influencer if she wouldn’t be there, what kind of influencer would she be? ”You can as well go without us if you are in such a hurry” Said Vox, walking out of his bedroom wearing white turtleneck and a blazer. Velvette rolled her eyes up annoyed with him and focused on her phone once again. “Please, tell me again why you want me and Val out of all people to go with you?” sighed “isn’t your bodyguard enough of a big strong man to make you feel safe? Not to mention you would do just fine on your own” he said, then looked at Valentino walking out of his room. ”I did not want to go alone, there will be a lot a lot of sinners, good way to earn contacts and meet someone useful. And Val wanted to do some scouting, because apparently he needs some fresh meat or whatever” she said, then decided to add “Also i thought about offering her a collaboration, because we need to grow in different directions and to be honest she has most influence in the entertainment field” Velvette explained and when Vox tried to speak, she hushed him “Yes, even more influence than you. She is everywhere”. ”Weird i never heard of her” he said with his typical annoying smirk, but Velvette just brushed it off. ”You are just not a man of culture, Voxxy, she has been in the industry for years” Valentino took a puff of gis cig. ”and i can barely hear you listening anything except for old Alastor broadcasts” Velvette joked and moth chuckled this comment, while Vox got angry and started explaining to them that he is just getting to know his enemy. So basically he’s only way to justify it was saying he’s preparing himself to next diss battle.

They all got to the place in silence. Well… Kind of. Valentino bitching about Angel Dust moving out (as always) broke the silence, but other than that, nobody else spoke anything except “mhm”, “really?”, “woah” without even paying attention to whatever moth said. Velvette had a backstage pass, she got it from manager of the tonights star. ”Vees! You are just in time, guys. (S/N) is about to enter stage in few minutes” welcomed them the mentioned manager. Eddie was a powerful hellborn - no matter how ridiculously it sounds, she indeed had a lot of contacts and connections in all of the hell. She may not be strong, but her greatest power is who she knows and one word from her was enough to make a specific demon or even an overlord vanish. “Velvette, darling, you are looking absolutely stunning, (Y/N) would absolutely love working with you” woman said, walking through the backstage with Vees. Vox felt a knot in his stomach when he heard this name. He have not heard it in years. He tried to look for her first years, but he couldn’t find her anywhere, especially without the phone, so he gave up looking for her. ”(Y-Y/N)? Who is this?” He asked, trying to clear his mind. Maybe its not my (Y/N) he thought. ”It’s her concert, you dumbass. But she uses (S/N) because it’s more catchy and looks better on album covers. More aesthetic or some shit” Velvette explained, turning back to Eddie and talking about business, while Valentino was looking around, eyeing some young, pretty hellborns and sinners working there. ”What are those pretty things~” he purred and smiled mischiviously. Vox rolled his eyes, but stayed quiet. It probably is someone else, it’s not like she was the only person in hell with this name, right? he asked himself in thoughts

“Alright, my dear, here you go, wear those bracelet, it will keep your energy and power safe and you may take your sits” Eddie handed them all a silver bracelet. Vox just looked at the thing in confusion. Keeping energy safe? Why in the sweet Satan ass would he need to do that? He wore it anyway, but still… Was a little confused. Velvette thanked Eddie and they just exchanged quick “see ya” and overlords left, going straight to their sits. Velvette got the ones quite in the front, since she wanted to see everything. Y/N was known for being quite the performer and everyone in hell was saying her concerts are the experience of a lifetime. PROLOGUE PART 2

PROLOGUE PART 3

#hazbin x reader #vox x reader #hellaverse #hazbin vox #hazbin hotel fanfiction #vox x you #x reader #hazbin hotel x reader #female reader #fem reader

[hanajozo]

"Finding Purpose" Chapter 2

Gojo Satoru x Reader Fanfic

*be-be-beeeep* *be-be-beeep*

“Ugh…” you rolled over to turn off your alarm that was set for 7:00am. As much as you hated waking up, you always got up on the first sign of your alarm. Your morning routine was pretty standard. Get up, shower, get dressed, browse your phone while you eat breakfast, and then head out to work.

This morning while you were eating breakfast, your attention was turned towards messages from Nanami, instead of the usual social media scrolling. 

4:30am - Nanami: Heading out now, take care.

5:30am - Nanami: Arrived at the airport, gone through security.

6:00am - Nanami: Taking off now, I’ll text you when I land in the United States.

You knew he wouldn’t respond, but decided to send a text of your own anyway as you finished up breakfast.

8:02am - (y/n): Thanks for the updates Ken-chan, hope the jet lag doesn’t get you too badly! I’m about to head into work.

After sending the text, you put your dishes in the sink and got ready to leave for work. 

“Purse, check. Not wearing my slippers this time? Check.” You said out loud to yourself, to make sure you weren’t forgetting anything important. You took a deep breath and walked out the door, braced for whatever the day had in store for you.

Immense crowds on the train is what the day had in store for you, that’s what. You despised being smushed up against strangers on the train, but alas, it comes with the territory of living in Tokyo. You were just extremely thankful that your shop was only a 15 minute train ride away.

With what felt like forever, being smushed up against strangers, you couldn’t believe the relief that washed over you as you rushed past the crowd to get to the doors of the train so you could get off. You sighed a deep breath of relief and smiled that you were finally free. Your relief and rush of getting off the train might have looked strange to others, as the train didn’t look as crowded to them as it did to you. There were a lot of curses on trains, so you tried to limit your time there as much as you could. You do all you can to avoid confrontation with curses on a day to day basis, but especially now that Nanami will be gone for two months on an overseas mission. 

More sighs escape your lips as you make the walk to your shop. It wasn’t a long walk from the station, and it was fairly close to Jujutsu High so that Nanami could rush over if you needed any help. You were always close to him in distance, both in your work and living places. But you were starting to feel lonely already, with the knowledge that he was on a plane across the ocean, soon to be halfway across the world. He’s never been gone for this long before. 

“It must be a big deal for him to be gone for so long on a mission.. It has to be really important. I should be glad the higher ups are entrusting such important work to him..” you mutter as you fumble with your keys to unlock the shop. 

Another deep sigh makes its way out of your mouth, “Alright, time to get to work. No more moping about!”

You flick on the light switches, flip the closed sign to open, put on one of your many messy painter’s aprons, and start your work day by switching up the pieces in the display window.

Your day continues on as you continue to clean up and work on a variety of art pieces. It’s some time in the early evening when your phone buzzes, letting you know you have a text. You pull it out of one of your apron’s pockets to check who it’s from.

6:23pm - Nanami: I landed in New York. I won’t be able to message you very much during this mission. I anticipate that these two months will be very busy. I apologize ahead of time.

“Ken-chan!” You smile and start typing a reply right away.

6:24pm - (y/n): Ken-chan! I’m glad you made it safely! Don’t worry about me, I'll be busy with my own work! I’m going to start on making a new collection soon. Good luck on the mission!

6:25pm - Nanami: Thank you, (y/n). Good luck to you as well.

You sigh, and put your phone back in your apron’s pocket. You decide not to reply and leave the conversation there, you know Nanami’s a busy man and he’s going to be the busiest he’s ever been. He’ll need every second he possibly can to get the job done, and you knew better than to interfere with Nanami and work hours.

Looking up at the clock that reads 6:30, you decide it’s about time to start closing up shop. It had been a pretty uneventful day with only a small handful of customers coming in to browse and purchase a couple of your artworks. Uneventful was typical for an independent artisan shop like your’s, and you were perfectly okay with that. You didn’t need a lot to happen for you to be fulfilled with your job, being free to pursue your artistic endeavors freely was all you needed. It was enough to usually distract you from the distant life of sorcery Nanami led too.

As you were reflecting on your satisfaction with your job, the sinking feeling from last night came back in full force like a tidal wave of emotion. You were alone. You didn’t have friends, you just lived vicariously through your brother’s social and work life. Now your brother was going to be for a couple of months, your safety blanket being ripped out from under you made you feel vulnerable and recognize all these things you thought you had pushed to the furthest corners of your brain. 

You stood there in the shop, feeling numb, suddenly questioning your life decisions. You had thought you were content, but maybe you just mistook that feeling for being complacent. Nanami was happy you were safe and sound, perhaps you were living vicariously through his emotions too? 

With this sudden realization, you whispered out loud, “I know who I am, I have my art and this shop but… Am I really my own person?” The moment the words left your mouth, a sob immediately followed. You sunk to the ground, head in your hands. Your sobs continued into the evening, still on the floor of the shop, not caring that the sun had set and it was now night time. 

Sobs turned into sniffles as you began to calm down. However, the relief after the longest and hardest cry you ever had until that point in life was momentary. Self-doubt and depression was soon washed away and immediately replaced with fear, fight or flight sensation kicking in as you sensed the densest sense of dread you had ever felt before. At first you couldn’t bring yourself to turn around, paralyzed by the sense of dread. But as soon as you felt large sharp claws graze against your skin, you whipped around, scooted away as far as your nervous legs could carry you and threw the closest tool near you in the shop at the curse. 

The sounds of gurgling made you realize that what you just did was a very bad idea. This curse was huge, filling up a majority of the space in your small shop. It was a large blob-like monster with at least 8 arms and no legs, with 3 large knife-like claws instead of fingers on each arm. It also oozed what looked to be a toxic substance from a couple of holes where its eyes should be.

“Shit…” you muttered under your breath, frozen once again. “Fuck!” You screamed as you scanned around for anything you could use as a weapon, even though you knew normal objects couldn’t hurt curses– only cursed energy or techniques could. You couldn’t fight this thing even if you did have enough cursed energy to use in combat.

Nanami had explained all of the sorcery terms to you a long time ago, and the criteria when it came to grading cursed spirits. You try to rack your brain, fear getting in the way of recalling the lessons as the curse slowly crawls over in your direction in efforts to intimidate you. Judging by the way that the curse absorbed the tool you threw at it, and the fact it was using intimidation tactics despite the fact that you were alone and could already have been dead by bow made you realize that this was probably a semi grade 3 or perhaps even a grade 2.

Your efforts to assess the danger of the situation took too long, as is evident when you feel the curse’s claws grab you by the shoulders. You cry out in pain, as the cuts in your arms get deeper when you try to wiggle free of its grasp. Again, another mistake. The curse gurgled and oozed more in anger as you tried to resist. “RRAAAUWGHHH” The curse roared out as its other arms trashed your shop in anger. Every canvas and piece of furniture in sight, sliced into pieces like butter. You cried out again, this time in despair. Your life and hard work as you knew it, destroyed in seconds.

The curse gurgled into your face with even more rage at your cries as it slashed the right side of your face in retaliation. Your right eye closed too late and was caught by the razor sharp claws, causing you to scream at the top of your lungs in pain as you started to fade in and out of consciousness. The last thing you remember before blacking out was being thrown by the curse and flying through the glass windows of the shop.

#gojo satoru #gojo #satoru #jjk #jujutsu kaisen #fanfic #ao3 #ao3fic #ao3 fanfic #ao3 author #x reader #reader insert

[brother-emperors]

Why do you like Brutus and Cassius so much? When did this love began?

oh man. hm. this is going to turn into a brick of text because Brutus and Cassius overlap with a lot of other stuff I’ve held a life long love for, but I’ll try to limit it to the main thoughts.

okay, so the answer to the second question is:

very recently, and also almost ten years. back when I was 17 I took a class that covered dante's divina commedia and spent a considerable amount of time delving into philosophical debate regarding brutus and cassius's placements in hell, and wrote a short piece of fiction regarding it.

independently of this, though, I didn't care much for cassius until very recently when a writer described cassius as a vigorous defender of lost causes and I started rethinking my opinion of him, and now I'm a full time cassius enthusiast.

to answer the first:

so italian renaissance reception of cassius and brutus in hell is conflicting and vast because there’s an underlying philosophical/political discussion involved with it, and the political dialogue of the renaissance holds my interest because my first love is machiavelli, and machiavelli objects to the placements of brutus and cassius. the political discourses involving art in the renaissance, specifically around florence, has been a lifelong fascination. the unfinished michelangelo bust of brutus has layers of political/philosophical meaning to it!! donato giannotti and michelangelo had a whole dialogue around it!! I love that!!!! and that’s not even going into more general reception of them involving plays and how those plays reflect conversations people are having with the politics of the time they lived in. the difference between how the english and the french creatives received brutus and cassius in times of political turmoil is endlessly fascinating!! but even without all of that: oh to be a pair in hell together.

moving past the renaissance, I’m An Enjoyer of Tragedies. the generation that brutus and cassius belonged to has been referred to as the last generation of romans, ancient writings and augustan propaganda on them imply doom from the start. cassius name has been forever attached to brutus, there’s even something of a tradition of turning them into a single person. in life they knew each other from childhood, and they knew each other to the end. brutus died within the same month as cassius. the statues of them near by statues of harmodius and aristogeiton, what a comparison, what an absolutely tragic downfall. they’re two halves of a whole, complimentary balances in personality and it’s not even poetic waxing: brutus has been compared as the statesman/philosopher to cassius’ warrior/gladiator, and florus describes brutus as having lost his second self by death of cassius.

moving past all of that, it’s like. there’s a kind of loneliness that follows machiavelli that makes me carry a collection of his letters around with me wherever I go, and it’s that same loneliness that compels me towards brutus and cassius. someone wrote that its a shame that most people’s introduction to brutus is in shakespeare, and I feel something similar that the first introduction people usually get of cassius is through brutus, and that for 2000 years, cassius has been used to absolve brutus of his own faults. that for 2000 years, people have been trying to absolve brutus of cassius.

they were friends. they grew up with each other. brutus went to caesar to plead for cassius’ life. it’s lonely that the only ever get to come alive again in media for the needs of a conspiracy, because the conspiracy is only ever treated as a distant plot beat.

tldr; I’m also fascinated by reception of them through the ages as a reflection of political dialogue in relation to the time periods people are bringing them back to life for. I want to pull back the curtains and try and get a better glimpse of them, but it’s been 2000 years and there’s only so many curtains you can pull back, so instead god has cursed me for my curiosity by making it so that I cant shut up about them in an attempt to satisfy that curiosity.

#this isnt counting the romantic/homoerotic dialogue around them 👀 which is another interest of mine lmao #long post #ask tag #babble tag

[julyarchives]

Baby, pull me closer || (M)

If you had ever believed in soulmates, it was because of Jo Jinho. When you were just hanging out at a bar with a few coworkers on a Friday night, the last thing you expected was to be confronted with your past.

→ A/n: Jinho x Female Reader

→ Genre: Angst; Smut

→ Words:  3K

→ Contains: Exes to Lovers; some angst; Talk about feelings; Break up.

→ A/n: We might have gotten carried away with the word count 😅 but we hope we could live up to the request! Thank you again for the anon who did it! We hope you all like it 🥰

If you had ever believed in soulmates, it was because of Jo Jinho. You two met in High School and were inseparable since day 1. He was your prince charming, the love of your life, your ride or die. Your life with him was a fairytale, and you caught yourself wondering so many times how lucky you were to have him in your life. You two worked hard to get into the same college and the time you spent there only made your connection stronger, and you knew it in you that you were his forever.

Which only made the break up more painful.

When you were offered the scholarship of your dreams, your first instinct was to go running to him and share the news, so you could celebrate together. But it was only seconds later that you stopped to think about everything that it would implicate. Jinho’s dream job required him to stay in the city and you would never want to be the person to make him give up everything for a relationship. You were selfish enough to put your goals first, but not selfish enough to rip him out of his.

So, after a lot of thinking, you made the most excruciating decision of your life.

“What do you mean? You can’t possibly be serious. You’re joking, right?” Jinho asked, voice trembling and tears pooling in the corner of his eyes.

The lump in your throat almost took your voice away, but you quickly swallowed it, convincing yourself that this was the only right decision.

“I told you, Jinho, I just don’t feel anything anymore. This relationship won’t work if I’m not in love with you. You deserve better, and it’s best if we break up now so you don’t get any more hurt. I don’t want to hurt you, Jinho.”

“Y/N, please” His tears fell freely now. He held you close by the waist, fists curling around the hem of your shirt “Please, don’t say this. I don’t believe you.”

He leaned his forehead against yours, and you closed your eyes, trying -and failing - to hold back your own tears.

“Please” he whispered

His lips grazed against yours and you let him kiss you, tasting the salty tears that were completely unrestrained by now.

“I’m sorry” was the last thing you whispered before leaving without looking back. Completely heartbroken at the sound of him calling your name in between sobs.

That’s why when you hear his voice calling your name again, almost 2 years later, you almost couldn’t believe your ears.

You were just hanging out at a bar with a few coworkers on a Friday night, the last thing you expected was to be confronted with your past.

“Jinho?” you turned around, knowing who you would see.

You always thought Jinho was the most beautiful man you’ve ever seen, and it is not like you haven’t checked his social media after the break up, but nothing had prepared you for the way he looked in front of you.

So much had passed, so obviously he looked way more mature than the last time you actually saw him in person, with traces you couldn’t see over a photo, but adorned his face like it had always been there, and only complemented his charming self.

The suit and glasses added to it as well, but what made your heart stop was the smile. It was like traveling back in time, to when you could see him everyday in comfortable sweatpants and loose T-shirts, playing guitar by the window of his apartment, the golden dawn light shimmering on his skin.

Your daze was broken as he approached and you tried to find anything to say at all, but it felt like you forgot each and every word in your own language.

“Hey” was all that came out of you, and you cursed yourself mentally for being a grown ass woman acting like a teenager again.

"I did not expect to see you here." he said, a confused look on his face

"Yeah, I live here now." You offered a smile, but you were actually nervous thinking how living in this city is basically what broke you two up.

"Nice to know I'll have a familiar face around! I got a job here now, I just moved in"

"Really?" You were surprised "congratulations on the new job"

"Thank you" He smiled in return, eyes turning into crescent moons "since we're here, would you like to grab something to drink? I would love to catch up with you"

You always thought of getting in touch with Jinho over the years. Every time you thought of him or checked him online, you thought of texting. What actually stopped you was the thought that what you did was unforgivable and he probably hated you after you ignored the many times he tried to reach you after you told him you wanted to break up. The last time you saw each other was when you went to return his stuff, and get yours' from him, and that did not go well. You two barely looked at each other and you don't ever remember saying anything, but you couldn't forget how heartbroken he was.

It threw you completely off guard when invited you to catch up because you expected him to hate your guts. But then again, it was a long time ago, he probably was over it, like you were. At least you thought so.

"Sure, why not?" You answered shyly.

He led you both to a table while your coworkers grinned at you, and you silently shushed them.

The conversation started a little awkward, both of you walking on eggshells to avoid the "ex" subject. You caught up eventually, and you were glad to know that he actually achieved the job he always wanted and was very focused on his career, and he was happy to know that the same happened to you.

Before you two realized, the conversation was flowing easily, and you were laughing together and messing with each other, feeling like nothing actually changed between you two. The connection was still there and you honestly felt happy about it.

When the bartender warned about the last call Jinho offered to share a cab home with you because it was already late, and you gladly accepted it, just so you could stretch the time spent with him.

"I'm glad we ran into each other" he said like he could read your thoughts.

"Me too, I'm having a lot of fun." You admitted, you two reaching the front door of your house.

"I gotta be honest, though, I thought we wouldn't see each other again." He said with a half-smile "the way that things happened with us…"

"Yeah, I know…" you gently interrupted, too embarrassed to bring that up "But I'm happy to see you, really. I didn't even see the time passing."

"Right?" He agreed "it ended too fast."

"I might have a bottle of wine we can open if you would like to come in" your mouth ran faster than your brain, and you felt really stupid for asking that like you were pushing some kind of limit there.

You felt a little more comfortable when he didn't take long to make up his mind and accepted your invitation.

You entered your house and kicked your heels off to the side while you heard Jinho closing the door behind himself.

Out of a sudden, you felt too shy to look at him, so you kept yourself busy with other stuff.

You tried to take your coat off, but the collar got caught in your necklace's chain, and you simply couldn't undo it yourself.

"Here, let me." Jinho promptly helped, gently untangling it.

He went further and pushed the coat off of your shoulders delicately, his fingers grazing on your bare skin exposed from your sleeveless dress. His knuckles ran all the way down your arms and you were too aware of his body next to yours, goosebumps rising on your skin when his warm breath hit the back of your neck.

"Please tell me you don't have a boyfriend." He whispered, his fingers grazing on your waist while he stood behind you.

Your breath got caught in your throat and you knew the implications of that question. You also knew that what he was suggesting, you wanted just as much.

"No, I don't." Your voice was just a barely audible whisper

You almost couldn't finish your sentence when his grasp on your waist tightened and he spun you around, pulling you closer to him, chest to chest, and his lips didn't hesitate to find yours.

Your body reciprocated him in a reflex that comes with a habit, like you never were not used to having him holding you like that.

The kiss was hungry and desperate, your hand messing his hair while he explored every new curve of your body, grasping for any skin he could find.

Jinho pressed you against the wall, trapping you in between the surface and his body. He wrapped one hand around your leg, lifting it up and squeezing up the hem of your dress, his kisses trailing down your neck.

"Fuck, I wanted to do this since I first laid eyes on you." He whispered against your ear before sucking a spot just under it.

All you could answer was a breathy moan, leaning your body to press harder against him.

You took your time exploring his body and couldn't help but notice that his muscles grew stronger as you grazed your nails on his toned chest.

He grinded his hips forward, and you could already feel a semi-hard growing in his pants, the thought of it making you clench in anticipation.

You chased after his lips again, never having enough of it, nibbling at the plump bottom lip that you always loved

"Bedroom?" You whispered in between kisses, your breath already heavy.

Jinho only nodded eagerly, and you held his hand while walking down the hall.

As soon as he figured out the way he was all over you again, backing you up until the back of your knees hit the edge of your bed and he didn't stop kissing you as you both settled on the soft mattress, every touch of his was very rough and commanding.

He kneeled up and you watched him discard his shirt carelessly, the sight making your mouth water. You bit your bottom lip, admiring his body, and he smirks proudly.

Next thing you know he's grabbing you by the hips and pulling you closer to him, making you slide down the sheets and yelp in surprise.

"You've changed" you addressed his manhandling with a naughty tone to it.

"You have no idea" his husky voice hit your ears like music, a tone as mischievous as the grin on his lips.

He pulled your dress up, off of your body, and you followed his lead without hesitating. Your panties were next and soon enough your hands were opening his fly and button, only letting go so he could get his pants and boxer off.

Jinho kissed you again and you moaned. You didn't think you'd ever need him this much again but you could feel your body trembling for him with only kisses. He pulled away and stood there, heavy breathing, eyes focusing on your every detail.

"I never thought I'd have you like this again", he seemed so sincere that made your heart ache.

"You do now", was all you could say before his hands were all over you. Gently caressing from your shoulder to your thighs, his strong hands guiding your legs to be around his waist.

"I don't think I can wait much more. '' Jinho didn't seem pleased with himself, staring at your chest instead of your face. You could see his hard shaft twitching whenever your skin rose up in goosebumps to his touch but the wetness between your legs was not any better.

"Please…".

Before you could say anything else, Jinho was already touching you, hands firmly grasping your breasts and squeezing, playing with your nipples while slowly grinding against you, his dick moving easily against your folds with how slick you were.

He groaned when you moved your hips back, hands exploring his toned chest and arms, touching all parts of him you could reach. You missed him so much that all these years apart only made you desperate to have him.

You were the one who moved lower and grabbed his member, smirking when he groaned lowly. You guided him to your entrance without a word, knowing you wouldn't be able to say anything. Jinho thankfully went along with it, letting go of your breasts and supporting himself with his hands on top of you while slowly entering you.

It felt like the world stopped. He felt so good inside, filling you up completely. Both of you moaned, his forehead leaning against yours. When he moved, you couldn't stop looking at him, his intense eyes and mouth open, his arms flexing from the movements, his hair already messy. Jinho was perfect and you wished you never let go. Looking back into his eyes, you could see he was watching you just the same and soon enough he was moving intensely with you, never breaking eye contact.

Everything started so easily and so intimate but even then it surprised you when you realized you two weren't just going on a nostalgic casual fuck. Jinho was making love to you, moving gently but also hitting your spot perfectly, his muscles flexing in the most delectable way. Your hands rested on his waist, caressing the skin as much as you could while you both moved, too deep in the moment to realize you didn't let go of each other's forehead.

It didn't take long for you to feel the fire burning hotter inside of you, the pleasure being too intense, and feeling a white-hot shock through your body. Neither of you said anything, your moaning, and heavy breathing filling your room in the most sensual way possible. One of your hands moved to his chest, right above his heart and his eyes widened. Jinho picked up his movements, chasing his orgasm as yours took over your body, making you arch and move closer to his body.

Thankfully you had recovered seconds later, just in time to see, and feel Jinho climaxing, his eyes squeezed shut and a low deep grunt falling off his lips beautifully. He laid gently on top of you and kissed you again, deep and longingly. When you pulled back, you couldn't help the bright smile you gave him, a soft giggle falling off your lips at the feeling of him in your arms again. Unfortunately, Jinho only half-smiled back and your guts twisted.

"I think we need to talk".

You could only manage a small "yeah", your smile died down. You pointed at the corridor, getting up after his nod. You didn't take long in the bathroom, too anxious to hear him out but also dreading what was about to come. You picked a sweater from the bathroom that surely wasn't supposed to be there and came back to the room.

Jinho was laying down in your bed, boxers back in place, and had half of his body covered with your comfy blanket. He was fidgeting with the hem of the blanket and you knew he was nervous as well.

"I felt cold, I hope you don't mind", he said with a shy smile.

"Of course not", you said, moving to lay with him under the blanket. He moved until he was laying on his side facing you, you mirroring his position.

"So", you both said at the same and that got a nervous laugh out of both of you. You motioned for him to go first.

"Why?", Jinho said, looking into your eyes. "Why did you leave me back then? Be honest this time, please".

"I-", you froze. You knew he'd say something about that but why was he so sure you lied? "How do you know I was lying?"

"We were perfect, Y/N", his voice was soft, his eyes gleaming. "We were in love and we fit perfectly together. You made me believe in soulmates, I felt like I would spend my life with you. And I know you felt the same".

"My scholarship", you said bluntly. "I couldn't have you give up your life for my dream and I knew you'd do it. I couldn't let go of my dream scholarship but I could never let you jeopardize yours".

Jinho closed his eyes briefly and breathed deeply slowly. Your eyes were filled with tears suddenly, a lot of feelings coming back at once. Regret, love, sorrow, how you missed him.

"I don't know if I feel relieved or even more hurt", he chuckled but you both couldn't see the humor. "I mean, I was sure you loved me but you were so hurtful that I was starting to believe you never actually even liked me".

"No!", you sit up quickly, eyes wide. "I thought it was the only option but I never stopped loving you", you blurted out.

"You… what?"Jinho sat up too then, slowly but surely.

"I know I made a mess and hurt you, but I always loved you when we were together, loved you when I broke up with you and… I honestly think I never got over you completely".

Jinho moved as if he could scare you off at any second. He slowly lifted his hands, thumbs wiping away the tears that fell. It only made you want to run. You had hurt him so much and even then he was taking care of you.

"I'm here now. I- I don't think we can go back to how we were even if we tried. It hurt too much and I don't think we are still the same person we were", he moved until his face was inches away from yours. "I feel the same and always did. I want to heal, I want to help you heal too".

Nodding, you moved to kiss him and sighed in relief when kissed you back.

"We can be friends", you said, lips moving always completely against his. "We can learn about each other again, I can redeem myself", you finished the sentence with a small kiss on his lips and he laughed.

"Friends that may kiss?"

"Friends that definitely will kiss".

#ksmutclub #jinho #smut #exes to lovers #jinho x reader #jo jinho #pentagon jinho #pentagon imagines #pentagon imagine #pentagon scenarios #pentagon #kpop pentagon #pentagon smut #kpop scenarios #kpop scenario #kpop writing #kpop smut #kpop angst #kpop story #kpop fanfic #kpop

[drcalvin]

It's such an odd feeling to think that Anne Rice has passed.

I knew IwtV was older than I was, and she was clearly an adult when she began writing. I'd cleared out many of my rice books years ago (Merrick, Vittorio, Lasher, I endured them all... But Blood Canticle was my hard limit) but I could never make myself remove the original trilogy from my shelves, nor the movie.

Catholicism, queerness, fandom engagement, public reviews, characters and so much more... Whether I bought the books in hardcover or sceptically awaited the inevitable arrival of a broken copy through work, I always kept an eye on Anne Rice. She put a lot of herself into her books,for good and bad, and though I am happy I visited New Orleans once (100% out of fannish feels), I am sad that I never had the chance to see her at an event or signing or such. In those circumstances, she seems to have been amazing from all accounts.

Never could let go of caring for her characters. And what characters she created! - Lestat, Louis, Armand and Claudia, but also David and Gabrielle and Santiago and Margaret... I've adored them and hated them and cursed that I couldn't stop caring about where the next book took them.

I'm so glad that Interview is one of a dozen feature films that still stand as physical media on my bookshelf, because I needed to watch it tonight and shed some tears. (It's still a really good film, btw)

"Drink from me and live forever" - read the chronicles at the right time of your life, and recall it forever. Her books, and the story of her, will surely live on a good long time yet

#Anne Rice #Rambling

[bangtan-dreamland]

A Fairy Tale’s End [Chapter 2]

Pairing: ot7 x reader; jjk x reader; myg x reader

Word Count: 17,790

Rating: pg-15

Warning: reader is even more stressed, a brief meltdown, several confrontations, several curse words, someone drunk picks a fight with them

Genre: some angst, hurt/comfort, fluff, e2l, fantasy!au, elf!seokjin, fae!yoongi, dragon!hoseok, wizard!namjoon, vampire!jimin, kitsune!taehyung, mermaid!jungkook

Summary:  You wanted, for once, to be someone important, someone needed- to be wanted and appreciated, to love and be loved. Well, you should be careful what you wish for.

AN: asdhjbasd first of all sorry for the long, long chapter bUT I swear future chapters won’t be as long,,, this is just really heavy on wordbuilding and plot with some character development ^^;;;

Also if anyone has noticed yes the ‘echo flowers’ are from Undertale uwu

A big, big thank you to @shadowsremedy​ for beta reading this!! I was losing my mind and he went and helped me make it so much better >w< Another thank you to @dee-ehn​ too for making the gorgeous banner above, likE LOOK AT IT IT’S JUST *insert flailing* wow my heart T^T

masterpost // previous chapter // next chapter

Taglist: @btsxdoll, @mspjm, @barbikatherine, @xxqueenwxtchxx, @catsandstrawberries​, @bangtan-bestofme​, @bubbletae7​

»»————-　♔　————-««

The start of the journey was- quiet, and yet also quite loud, to put it one way.

It was terribly obvious, from one glance, that you were only a group of people forced into travelling together. Or at least to you, it was. For one, the way that none of you really bothered much with conversation, how each one was tense and on guard against each other- well, as much as you could read the others, anyway. 

The horse under your hands whinnied as you ran your hands through its mane, and you found yourself looking at the others again in an attempt to, well, do something. Travelling, as far as you found out, was actually quite boring. Or. Well, it seemed to be, as you were only riding a horse. Admittedly, while a part of your attention had to stay on both the road and the horse, it didn’t take much before you found yourself desperate for something to do.

As it was, you were even contemplating starting up a conversation. You. Start a conversation. With them.

You sighed.

Really, when you first learned about them, your biggest worry was that you would be spending time with people like those at the castle, who, by now, you believed worshipped the ground you walked on, as creepy and arrogant as it sounded. 

But… That moment then, at the castle, after introductions had been made, and your moment of panic ended, Namjoon had been the first to approach you, a genial smile on his face- but then the one from before, the vampire (Jimin, right? That was his name? You weren’t quite sure since half of your attention was spent trying not to visibly freak out while they were being introduced) strolled up to you, a smirk on his face.

“Lady Y/N,” Jimin’s voice was smooth as butter (and knowing now that he was a vampire now made the events when you met him make so much more sense), that coupled with his appearance made it easy for you to believe he was, well, a vampire. He gracefully bowed to you, extending a hand as well. “A pleasure to finally meet you.”

You forced a smile on your face, regarding him warily.

"... A pleasure to meet you too."

"Who would've known I would have had the blessing of an encounter with our ever so lovely saviour that night? Though," he sighed, his head dipping briefly to kiss your hand- the hair on the back of your neck standing upright as he lightly nipped it. The feel of what had to be his sharp fangs on your skin was not something you liked, that was for sure. "I regret not being able to have a longer talk with you."

"Park," the person (fae? The stark contrast of his bright, mint hair was quite distinctive enough, anyway) you met at the garden before- he spoke up then, his voice was low, the warning clear. Jimin only smiled innocently, his eyes like crescent moons as he obligingly stepped away from you.

"I was merely paying respects," he purred.

"Yet you do so in a manner most unrespectful," Namjoon cut in, brows furrowed as his gaze switched over to you in turn. He took a step forward- and the light frown on his face became a small smile. He bowed.

"Although we've already been introduced to each other... Heir to the Kim Coven, Kim Namjoon, at your service, Lady-" 

"Lady Y/N? Who would have thought it?" You heard a new voice say your name then, before golden eyes that seemed to almost glow appeared in your line of vision. Familiar, mischievous eyes and a distinctive low chuckle- you hastily took a step back, immediately glaring at him.

And then another joined.

"You're the one I met at the inn!"

Even just remembering the chaos that erupted then made you wince. Several of them immediately started arguing- the loudest being Jimin (who cracked up and began teasing the other) and Jungkook (who looked close to actually, physically fighting him), though Namjoon and Taehyung came close, Namjoon's words getting sharper and sharper as Taehyung only continued to egg him on, throwing a few words at Jungkook as well- who, actually, you couldn't remember why he'd been fighting with Jimin... Though, it wasn't as if there was any use remembering now...

Your only saving grace then was that Yoongi and Hoseok didn't join in, and just when you were about to start speaking up (you couldn't let it go on forever, there was a limit to how much even you could take, after all)-

"Quiet." The voice, as stable as it seemed to be, growing not a single decibel louder than the others, was enough to affect everyone. The effects of his reprimand was instant- the four men instantly falling quiet, seemingly intimidated.

"If you're all done bickering like children, maybe we can continue on with why we've been assembled." Seokjin's voice was frost embodied as he swept his glance over you all. "Or are your ages only for show?"

Nobody moved- his gaze not letting up. In the wake of the silence, he looked at you. "Y/N."

You almost jumped, not just from surprise but also from how everyone's attention turned to you then. "Y-Yes?"

"Do you have any plan or information in place to start us with?"

"Y-Yes! Um..."

You suppressed the urge to run and hide, instead choosing to focus on the paper in your hands. A week's worth of research was written on it, as much as you could have gathered anyway.

"A-As elusive as, the- the Tower of Babel is, um," you took a deep breath, even as you stuttered, and told yourself to continue. "The first step to take in tracing its, um, its current location would be to, well, investigate the last confirmed area it was in. Especially when we consider that there's little information to go through, discounting rumours and myths."

"Therefore, I think that our first location should be R-Rivermouth. There should be the ruins of the old tower remaining there- it's at least a more solid clue than anything." 

Icy brown eyes turned away from you, and you felt yourself sigh in relief. Was he testing you just now? It certainly felt like one- and one that you hoped you passed.

That point then on forward seemed to be a little bit of smooth sailing then. As much as the others seemed to have their own opinions and arguments, it only took a few, pointed words from Seokjin to get them moving.

And thus you all set off.

»»————-　♔　————-««

Which led to where you were at the moment, currently bored out of your life. 

The first few days had been nerve-wracking, admittedly. You didn't know what to expect. You didn't know how to act around them, but soon enough, it became clear to you that you weren't the only one apprehensive about travelling with other, unknown people. The tense silence that covered you all attested to that. No one tried to speak up much, nor to do anything than follow along Yoongi (who led the way on account of being the second most experienced not only when it came to travelling, but also to fighting), though a part of you suspected it was mostly because Seokjin positioned himself at the back, where he had perfect view of you all. 

It was for the best, you supposed, thinking over what you'd learned about them so far. Which, while it wasn't that much, and you still weren't quite sure what to think of them, it was obvious that you had your work cut out for you.

Hoseok was one of the few that was alright so far, you thought.

He was the one with the least amount of presence in the group, since the quest had started- something which, while initially surprised you (after all, he was a dragon, right? The thought that a dragon could be, well, quiet and wary of others when they'd been portrayed the exact opposite in media back home was a source of never ending confusion), gave your initial encounter with him at the tower make sense. Even when the fighting broke out at your first, official meeting with the others, he'd stayed out of the way. 

If it weren't for the way you were hyper aware of the others, really, you would have forgotten all about him.

Still, compared to the others, that was practically a blessing.

Compared to Jungkook, that was.

Jungkook, who, in turn, was one of the loudest members so far- and a source of your never ending headaches since the quest began.

Considering your meeting at the marketplace, and how he was currently acting, the word that came to your mind most often was... Well, that he was a brat.

An attention-seeking brat, you added. Trying to show everyone that he was just as good as them, but then getting worked up over the littlest of insults (Jimin), trying to prove them wrong (or calling Jimin out on his height in retaliation to the latter calling him out on his age). Falling for sucker bets (again, Jimin, though sometimes Taehyung would join in), and getting tricked. Naive to a fault,  and failing to think through his actions most of the time. 

Still, considering he was apparently the youngest out of everyone...

Speaking of age... Your eyes briefly glanced over to your right, meeting crimson eyes- you quickly averted your gaze, ignoring the smirk directed at you.

Jimin, though, was a bigger pain in the ass to deal with. It only took you a day to determine that there was just one thing that kept him going in life.

It was to mess with other people.

He, you quickly deduced, was someone who got off on teasing others, enraging them, charming and using them, all the things that, if you were back home, you had no doubt you would ask if he was still in kindergarten, or what. Especially with the way he seemed hell-bent on riling up Jungkook to kingdom come over every little thing (though Jungkook would give his best to retaliate), something that he never quite succeeded at because every time he'd come close, Seokjin would promptly freeze them with a glare.

Really, it made you wonder just what the hell whoever sent him had been thinking, but then...

The flicker of a flame appeared at the edges of your vision, though you tried not to look all the same.

Then there was Taehyung, who, on the other hand, was a different kind of chaos. 

The first time you met him had given you enough clues to realize that he was someone who probably took a lot of fun in pranking other people- and then watching the ensuing panic occur. The type to arrange buckets of flour atop every doorway, the type to ice over floors and watch people slip and fall, the type to drive people insane with just his words...

... or the type to let loose pigs in a castle and laugh afterwards.

Admittedly, though, ever since you'd set out it seemed as if he'd calmed down and took down the intensity of his mischief, but it still didn't take away the fact that he was still doing them in the first place.

You'd be doing something menial, like maybe set up the tents. You would be absorbed in your task- then you'd see feel something crawl near your legs, and you'd stifle a scream at the sight of a snake (lest you alert the others and make a bigger idiot out of yourself), and you'd hear the faint echo of laughter- and you would tamp down the urge to murder that ass as much as you could. 

The most infuriating part about it too was how he seemed to hone in on you, setting you as his target. Taehyung felt like a whirlwind that you’d somehow caught yourself getting pulled closer into, and the only thing that kept you from truly getting sucked in was the equally intense storms the others were.

... Well, as much as Taehyung annoyed you on a daily basis though, it made having Yoongi a little bit better.

Yoongi was probably the second member of the 'not so troublesome' part of the group of men. He was mostly quiet, and calm- always pitching in to help reign in the others when they grew too rowdy, sharply scolding Jimin or Taehyung, even Jungkook.

Still, though, as much help and rational as he seemed to be, you couldn't quite bring yourself to fully relax around him, because, as it was, he seemed to be quite on board the 'Lady Y/N, our saviour!~' ship too.

Though, admittedly, it was in a reserved way- what with how he subtly looked to you for guidance, letting you make the decisions, even when you didn't have the faintest clue what to do. It wasn't exactly something you would have advocated for, or encouraged in the slightest.

Then again, it wasn't quite as bad as Namjoon.

You didn't think you needed to explain that statement anymore than you did- the reminder of not only your first meeting, but every encounter after spelling it out quite neatly in your head.

'Lady Y/N, is there any way I can-'

'Lady Y/N, do you perhaps need help-'

'Lady Y/N, I assure you, I would love nothing more than to-'

'Lady Y/N-!'

You groaned even as you remembered the numerous events, his voice ringing in your head like a puppy yipping and yapping for your attention, as horrible as it made you sound like.

With all that in mind... While at first you never would've thought it, Seokjin was probably the person you appreciated the most out of your companions so far.

Oh, he made it clear to you, not just from the moment you met that he didn't think much, if at all, about you, as the leader of the quest- something which, while you didn't like the way he told you about it you did agree with.

Still, him taking over the reigns as you all set out on the journey had done you a huge favor, even if he didn’t intend it that way. Especially when you didn't have the slightest clue how to make the others listen to you- and no, you didn't count Namjoon in, or Yoongi.

It had been Seokjin who'd seamlessly got the rest to listen to him, and make camp, who'd assigned roles without the others raising much of a fuss, and, to your never-ending relief, seemed to be really proficient in catching wildlife and gathering herbs to eat.

After all, you all had to set out lightly, carrying only basic necessities and emergency supplies with you as you were supposed to always be ready to move in case of danger. It was something you had no trouble agreeing with, remembering your first day.

With his help, no matter how rowdy the others could be at times, so far, it'd been quite peaceful... If you didn't take in the aforementioned headaches your companions gave you, that was.

A week couldn't go by any faster, although eventually, you all arrived at your destination.

Rivermouth.

»»————-　♔　————-««

The town, you first thought as you approached it, was aptly named. Built around a huge river that seemed to snake through the town’s roads, leading into the sea at the end- Rivermouth, situated at the foot of the mountain was well off in how they had access to not only the bountiful forest to their north, the sealife to their south but also the roads that made them a popular stop-by, as they were directly on the way to the capital.

Or so you heard from Namjoon anyway. 

It was hard to appreciate the town and all that it had to offer, when the moment you all arrived, you felt the familiar pressure of reality weight down hard on your shoulders. 

You gripped the reins tighter, eyes darting around nervously- at the unfamiliar dirt streets, the wooden houses, the crowds of people in the streets (although thankfully, no one pointed out to you guys).

It was easy to forget, for a moment, as you left the city and traveled. It was easy to think, to feel, that you were back home. It was easy to think of the whole experience as a dreaded camping trip where you had to endure travelling with strangers, most of which were weird as hell.

Back at the capital, it was hard to run away from the situation in any way- everywhere you looked, it only served to remind you of where you were. 

But out in the wilderness? It was much easier. It wasn’t as if the others were keen to show off the fact that they weren’t human either, and if you ignored all the extra appendages they had (and actually getting used to them after a while), then it was easy to see even Taehyung’s illusions as pranks. Elaborate pranks, but pranks nonetheless.

Now again, though, you were harshly brought back to reality. Your new reality. Your momentary, all-too-real-you-might-die reality.

You released a low whine at the back of your throat, resisting the urge to hide away from the public’s eyes lest they somehow realize who you were.

"Are you alright, Lady Y/N?" The tremble that ran through your body was not lost on Namjoon, who gave you a concerned look. "If you feel unwell in any way, I-”

"No!" You almost yelled the words out. Even though they hadn’t been the best company so far, you really didn’t want to know what the others would say or think if you all had to stop now because of you. The mere thought of it made your stomach even sicker with nerves. "No, no, sorry, um, I'm alright, just-" you faltered, voice coming out weaker. "I'm not, um, I'm not good with crowds..."

"... Our first priority is to get to the inn," Yoongi offered, eyes assessing your form, before he turned back with a grimace at the streets. "Though the crowd is really thick." 

It was then that Jungkook perked up, instantly cutting in with a confident tone in his words. "I could easily locate the inn, and then return to lead us."

You tensed up, then, preparing yourself for the response that seemed to be almost a routine by now-

"Really now. And how, do you think, will you be able to pass through the crowd?" Jimin's giggle was mocking as he regarded the younger with a raised eyebrow. “Here comes the puppy again, ever so obediently wagging its tail.”

You sucked in a hiss of breath as the two started arguing again, cringing.

For some reason, as much as Jimin was an ass to you all, he seemed to focus most on Jungkook. That whenever the younger would speak up about something or offer to a task, he would instantly be there butting heads with him. And it wasn’t rare to hear Jungkook make snide comments about Jimin being a vampire either. It always gave you a huge headache, and the fact that it’d become a common thing to the point where you all expected them to argue whenever one of them spoke up was really-

Well.

You tried to stay out of it, though. Even if you wanted to stop them, there was always the what if lingering in your mind. What if they refused to listen to you? What if they got mad at you instead? What if you failed, causing an even bigger problem, and the others would know? 

It was much easier to leave them be and endure their bad moods afterwards.

Even if currently, the growing volume of their voices made you wince.

“better than a bloodsucker who just idles around without contributing anything-”

"-’contributing’, you say- aren’t you always so eager to please, do you really crave their praise so much-"

Jungkook’s hiss was full of repressed fury, just about to break through. "Hypocritical of you to say when your entire race is but a collection of power hungry animals desperate for others’ attention, as though someone who has to resort to using trickery to charm others has room to talk. No one would trust a vampire with anything, and why would they?"

Jimin’s responding laughter was soft, airy, but the look in his eyes then could have frozen a man over. 

“Perhaps, but still, it’s better than a bootlicker currying favor by doing even the most menial work. Or perhaps, you do them because it’s all you can amount to? After all, it’s obvious that you don’t have much, if any experience dealing with the human world. Really,” his lips curled in a sneer, even as his voice remained soft, “it only makes your efforts all the more pitiful. Laughably pathetic.” 

That seemed to have broken the proverbial last straw on the camel's back then, as, with a snarl, Jungkook leapt forward, his arm raised into a fist- one that would have hit Jimin, if it wasn’t for Seokjin suddenly holding him back. It was followed by a brief glance at you, one that seemed to say, ‘well? What are you going to do?’.

You looked back at him with wide eyes, and then at the situation- what did he want you to do? Could you even do anything? Hell, you barely even knew them and you weren’t a match at all for them in any way!

You barely saw him purse his lips at your inaction, turning instead to give his attention solely to the almost fight. 

“Calm down,” he sharply scolded Jungkook. Restrained, the younger furiously fought against Seokjin’s hold, but the latter only held him back even tighter, until Jungkook could only squirm. When the younger slumped forward, finally out of energy, only then did he let go. Jungkook fell to his knees then, though he got back up not a second later, the fury in his eyes visible to everyone. 

You could sense the hush that had now befallen the street, especially when Jungkook was let go by Seokjin. Any words in your mouth died as the amount of attention on you all increased, your heartbeat doubling and then tripling in anxiety. You took a small step away from the scene, all parts of you screaming to hide away from the prying eyes of the crowd- 

Jimin’s gaze locked on to you and you stilled at the sharp look in his eyes.

“... I’d hate to be the cause of a bigger disturbance. I believe no one will mind if I leave for now, hm?” The smile that graced his face then was different, sharper and darker- you shivered and leaned away, having to physically stop yourself from taking another step back. The small motion didn’t escape his attention and he scoffed, before turning away and leaving, the crowd turning to look at his figure before it was swallowed up.

Your stiff figure didn’t let up until the crowd’s attention on you guys dispersed, and even then your movements remained jerky, the feel of their gazes on you remaining like ants crawling on your skin.

In the silence that followed, surprisingly, it was Taehyung who made the first move, not even a few seconds after Jimin’s departure.

“I’m going to go after Jimin,” he didn’t offer so much as he declared, immediately setting off in the same direction that the other left in.

You opened your mouth to speak- then thought better of what you were about to say. In the end, you opted to just nod your head weakly. “I- um, okay. We’ll- we’ll, um, we’ll be heading straight for the i-inn then...”

And that was that.

»»————-　♔　————-««

When you went to look for them hours later, after arriving and settling down at the inn, it was to another fight.

Which. Really. How was your luck so bad that you kept getting dragged into the one thing you hated most row after row? 

The voice of the man yelling inside the apothecary could be clearly heard even from outside, but it wasn’t that that alerted you to the whereabouts of the people you were looking for- it was the crowd that had formed around the door.

It only took a look inside to confirm your guess. You apologetically pushed through the crowd,  wincing with every complaint from the people you passed through.

When you arrived at the scene, it was to the sight of surprisingly just Taehyung, face blank, though the tense form of his body and the pursed lips gave away his irritation. Across him, a man, obviously drunk, was shouting slurs at him.

“-damned creatures! Your presence brings nothing but trouble, and I’m not having it!”

A growl, one that you interpreted with a jolt of shock, to come from Taehyung. What the hell…?

“Showing your true colors, aren’t you?” The man sneered, before spitting to the side. “You may look like a human but everyone here knows you’re just a greedy mongrel-”

“Stop!”

The word fell from your lips automatically, even as you inwardly berated yourself for just stepping in without a plan.

The two men turned to look at you, both startled, one suspicious and the other one… Curious? Shocked? Whatever emotion passed through Taehyung’s face then was gone too fast for you to even see properly, but whatever.

You focused your attention to the drunken man, hoping to appease the wild cannon before it erupted.

“Sir,” you started, unsure exactly what to say, but going on ahead anyway. “Can you please calm down? What happened?”

“Calm down!” He yelled, agitated. “Calm down she says! Why, there’s a bloody yokai, a kitsune in here and you’re asking me to calm down!? I just about caught him stealing, and he denies it and I’m supposed to calm down!”

You hissed quietly, eyes flickering from Taehyung’s now scowling form, several bottles of what you presumed to be ingredients in his hands, to the man’s self-righteous posture, a bottle of beer in his.

“I’m sure it wasn’t like that,” you assured him. “But, if you really think so, then I’ll pay for whatever you think he took. Okay?”

“What, are you with him?” He glared at you, the acrid stench of his breath making you want to recoil away. “Bah, whatever. Pay and then get out quickly. We don’t need his kind in here.”

You gritted your teeth at his words, but still you inched closer to the counter anyway, pulling out your money, setting out several coins until you felt it was enough.

At the shopkeeper’s shaky greeting and ‘thank you for your purchase’, you finally heard the man move, steps shaky, grumbles leaving his mouth from behind you.

“Don’t ever let me see you in here again, dog,” he hissed out, to Taehyung, you thought, before finally stumbling away, still drunk as hell.

You looked behind you  then, feeling yourself relax a little as you saw the crowd disperse now that everything was over. Grinning, you turned to Taehyung-

“... What was that for?” He snapped at you, and you stared at him, stunned.

“Wha-” Any word you could have said then died as he stepped forward, closer, the brunt of his anger suddenly falling on you. “W-What do you mean?”

“You know what I mean,” he narrowed his eyes at you, the irritation thick in his voice. “Meddling in without a thought, and even going so far as to pay for what I supposedly ‘stole’.” Taehyung laughed then, but it was without mirth.

“I-”

“Did you think, perhaps, for a second, that you could have asked both of us what happened?” The growl that was still present in his voice, accentuated by the low timbre of his voice made his words all the more intimidating. “That instead of instantly accepting his words as the truth, you could have taken another look and not just sided with him, but also asked me?”

“Or do you really believe us to be what he said?” 

“I-” you stammered, your voice leaving you as he towered over your form. You wanted to protest, defend your side, but the look in Taehyung’s eyes paired with the angry feel to his words made you tremble. “It wasn’t- I mean…”

Your voice came out weak, and even then it was only because of the rising indignation in your chest. How could he think for a moment that you agreed with that man? You didn’t- it didn’t even cross your mind at all! You just wanted to deescalate the situation before anyone got in trouble, and he was being all pissy now? He didn’t even let you explain your side! “I didn’t think that at all, okay? I just wanted to stop the fight.”

“Did you?” He bit out. “Well, I suppose congratulations are in order then, Lady Y/N. For once, you accomplished what you wanted to do.”

You clenched your fists at the patronizing tone of his voice. “Yeah, I did, but now I have to deal with you being like this. I guess you’re right, I shouldn’t have butted in.” If you were annoyed by his attitude towards you, well. It was one thing to feel guilty for messing up- but getting angry at you for no reason? That was one thing that you hated, more than anything. And wasn’t he being hypocritical?

I know when I make a mistake, because I do it all the time. But now you’re insisting it’s my fault- and you won’t even hear me out.

Silence enveloped the two of you then, the two of you glaring at each other, Taehyung’s glare venomous- still, you held your ground, unwilling to give way. He wanted to be like this? Fine, but you knew unlike the other time, you’d actually tried to help. It wasn’t your fault he wanted to be- that he just assumed stuff!

“... You know what, forget it.” He eventually stepped away, a bitter undertone to his words. “I’ll thank you not to interfere in my problems the next time around. We’ll be at the inn tomorrow on time; don’t bother looking for us until then.”

You kept quiet as Taehyung swiftly pushed past you, his body tense and the scowl on his face made all the more intense with the sharp looks he sported, not unlike an angry god. 

When the doorbell rang, you let out a small sigh of relief, even as you felt a wave of sharp discontent and frustration rise in your chest. You dithered where you were then, wanting to leave, to go somewhere else, but after what happened just now…

“Y/N? The Saviour, Lady Y/N?” The sound of the shopkeeper’s voice made you jump.

You cringed, the anger leaving you as anxiety replaced it. Your hands immediately pulled your hood up, as though that would help you now that they’d probably seen you and confirmed who you were and oh god why did you even go after them-

The shopkeeper only stepped away after seeing your reaction, an apologetic look on their face.

“My apologies, milady. I should have realized- well. I really do apologize. Especially after the scene just now...”

You sighed, relaxing a fraction when you realized they weren’t about to mob you or anything. “No, um, it’s fine. But- I, um, I should go…”

It was when you were a few steps away that you heard them say softly.

“Milady?”

You hesitated, before slowly turning around.

“Going by what I witnessed just now… If you’d like some privacy, there is a beach known only to us villagers. Outsiders are forbidden from taking a single step on it, but- of course, you are the exception, milady. It’d be our honor to have you use the beach in any way you need it.”

That made you linger where you were for a moment. Maybe you’d take them up on the offer. What wouldn’t you do for some peace right now, after all?

You smiled shakily at them. “Thank you- um, for the offer.”

And then you left.

»»————-　♔　————-««

The next day had come all too fast, bringing another set of troubles alongside the first. Coming back to the inn after your altercation with Taehyung, you didn’t know what to expect when you saw both men again- but the next morning, as you set out for the ruins, it was as the events in question had never happened- both men seemingly the same as before. Or, at least for Jimin,- Taehyung had turned to ignoring you.

Still, you felt that the silence was better than the alternative, unsure how to clear up the misunderstanding without getting past a confrontation.

“So this is where the tower was, previously…” You murmured as you walked through the empty remains of a hall, the stone weathered and crumbling under the weight of not only time but the local flora. 

“Or so the texts say,” Namjoon confirmed from ahead of you, an open book in his hands as he read while walking. “It’s quite a sight to behold, isn’t it?”

“... It really is,” you agreed. You bit back the frown that threatened to form on your face at the sound of someone scoffing behind you, a mutter following that, while not loud enough to make out was still audible. Even now, or maybe especially after yesterday’s events, the tension amongst you was thick as hell. Not really something you liked or appreciated, but…

You inched closer to Yoongi.

“I don’t think I have to repeat it, but I’ll say it again, in case there’s anyone who wasn’t listening earlier,” Seokjin’s voice carried over easily in the ruins, echoing off the walls. “Although I don’t think they still exist, this place used to be full of traps in the past. Be careful.”

Currently, Namjoon and Yoongi were set ahead of you all, Yoongi’s expertise in sensing magic combined with Namjoon’s vast knowledge giving them an upper hand in recognizing anything. You were positioned somewhere between the back of the group with Jimin, Jungkook and Seokjin, and Taehyung and Hoseok who were a little ways ahead of you.

Your placements as Seokjin had dictated turned out to be effective in halting any fights. Yoongi and Namjoon had no trouble working with each other, and Taehyung was the same with Hoseok. While Jimin and Jungkook still had their problems with each other, with Seokjin acting not only as the rear guard, but also as chaperone, the most that they had been acting out was with pointed glances and glares.

Still, you knew it was only a matter of time before something happened- that it wouldn’t take long for another argument to break out. 

You were right.

You didn’t even know what started it, but before you it could even register in your mind-

“Jungkook. Jimin.” If before Seokjin’s voice was ice, now it was steel. “Should we have left you two at the inn?”

“He started it!” 

You resolutely kept your attention on the walls before you, even when Jungkook exploded, frustration thick in his words.

“I didn’t so much as start anything, so much as I was pointing out facts,” Jimin nonchalantly said. “Is it really my fault Jungkook reacts like a child throwing temper tantrums when he hears words he doesn’t like hearing, even if they’re the truth?”

At that, even you had to wince. It didn’t take long to know that if there was something Jungkook hated, it was being likened to a kid, something that his age didn’t help, being the youngest. But before it could dissolve into another brawl-

“I believe I’ve found a clue!” Namjoon’s voice shouted in the distance.

You could have slumped forward then out of sheer relief at the sudden interruption, the yell getting the others’ attention. You could hear them all pause, before the sound of movement echoed, until the area fell silent again, as you were the last one remaining in the room. You sighed, turning around-

Your steps faltered.

Where the hell was Jungkook?

You instantly began looking around, hoping to catch a glimpse of the missing member, when-

Aha.

-you caught glimpse of the edges of a cloak disappearing into one of the corridors. 

… Damn it. You internally groaned when you realized just what he was doing. Still, you knew if you didn’t come after him then, no matter what happened he’d get scolded by the others (though mainly Seokjin or Yoongi). Which, you could leave this small problem up to them, but…

You sighed as you remembered their stances on Jungkook’s behaviour. 

You instantly took a step forward in that direction, glancing at the others quickly, if only to make sure that they weren’t about to stop you or come after you-

“... And like a child he goes off sulking, never minding if he gets lost like one,” Jimin drawled ahead of you, before side eyeing you. “If you desire to go after him and deal with his temper tantrum, please, be my guest.”

“... Well-” you started, your voice quiet. “It’s not exactly like that. But- I mean… Someone has to bring him back, right?” You didn’t mention how it felt as though the fight was partially your fault- though you knew there wasn’t really much you could have done. At this point, it felt as though the words themselves were like a broken record in your head. You couldn’t have done anything. Why would they listen to you? They hate you, and they don’t respect you, why do you think that they’d even give you a second to speak at all?

Still, the expecting and disappointed looks on the others’ faces seared themselves into your mind, replaying every time.

You didn’t even know why or how you thought it was okay to after him (seeing as there was still the possibility of traps in the ruins)- but still you did, following him through several turns, a few times almost calling out (and then hastily shutting up because every time you did, it either didn’t feel like the right time, or you forgot what you rehearsed yourself to say), as he went around the ruins. He was seemingly searching for clues in his own way too, though to no avail, until you reached what seemed to be a dead end.

Then you winced at the frustrated grumbling you could hear even from where you were, a thread of disquiet forming in your stomach.

“Jungkook,” you hesitantly called out his name. His head snapped up, doe eyes wide, before they narrowed as he caught sight of you.

He crossed his arms, frowning. “What do you want?”

“I-” you faltered, confused at his words. “W-What do I want? I came after you because you- um, you suddenly left, I was worried. I mean… Didn’t Seokjin, um, say that this place was, well, filled with traps back then?”

“I can handle myself,” he grumbled. “On the miniscule chance that I would activate a trap, the possibility that I would get hurt is very little.”

“That’s not the point,” you argued softly. “I’d- well, I’d like it if you didn’t take, um, chances in first place. And- I mean, the others might be looking for us, or, um, we might get lost…”

You fidgeted. “Besides, when I went after you, Namjoon found something. I know, um, that- you’ve been-” you dithered over the words in your head, unsure which to pick without coming off as weird in any way, “-worried, about the quest, but- I mean, you don’t have to push yourself so hard!”

Jungkook’s lips pursed, fists tightening even as he remained quiet.

“I don’t want to hear that from you,” he started. “You, who has to be the most useless one, despite being the leader,” he said bitterly, taking a step away from you, and closer to the walls. 

The unsease you were feeling grew, and you couldn’t stop yourself from taking a step forward.

“Since the beginning, in what way have you ever truly acted like a leader? When have you ever benefited the search? Yet even if you do nothing, still they flock around you.”

You took another step.

“I… I know,” you said. Jungkook’s words hurt, but then again, none of it was really new to you in any way…

And another.

“And yet it’s as if you don’t care at all, while I have to do so much just to receive acclaim-”

And another.

At this point, the distance between you two was only a few feet now. Your every sense locked on to the area around the two of you, feeling something off. A sense of danger, so to say.

“I- okay,” you slowly said. “But, still, why don’t we just-”

“- and anothing thing, don’t tell me what to do!” Jungkook bit out, taking another step backward- the tension you sensed in the air sharpened to the point where your instincts overtook you. 

“Jungkook, watch out!”

With only a single foot between the two of you, you quickly pulled him away from where he was, a wave of fear and surprise cascading over you- even if now that meant you and him had switched places you didn’t regret it at all. 

It was the small tremble of the earth that alerted you to something wrong- then the shadow covering you- before the rough force of something tackling you settled in.

Your head rang as something loud echoed through the open space only a moment later, even as it felt like eternity, something like the fall of a boulder- but, that couldn’t be. Where would one even appear from?

Your last thoughts as you fell under the sweet spell of unconsciousness was that whoever pushed you sure could move fast.

»»————-　♔　————-««

When you woke up, it was in a familiar situation, to the sight of unfamiliar sheets. For a moment you could only linger in between the land of the living and that of the asleep, but even so you eventually forced yourself to get up.

And then the events of the day before sunk into your mind. 

You shot up with a gasp, hissing when the pain hit you.

“Lady Y/N!”

You flinched away at the loud sound, your ears ringing- then the sound of murmurs filled the room, ones you recognized to be Yoongi’s and Namjoon’s.

“Namjoon?” You eventually croaked out as your senses readjusted to the world of living. “Yoongi? Hoseok?”

Namjoon, standing by your bedside- Yoongi, sitting behind him, and Hoseok in the corner opposite you all... You looked around, wondering where the others were.

You felt yourself physically wince as you met Seokjin’s eyes, for once unable to read anything in them, not even the displeasure he’d maintained with you ever since you met.

You immediately averted your gaze, choosing to focus on the others instead. “W… What happened? Where are the others?”

“After the two of you left, we went after you when Namjoon pointed out you were both missing. Thankfully in the nick of time too. Jungkook activated a trap in the ruins,” Yoongi was the first one to speak up, and you looked back at him. “It shouldn’t have worked anyway, but it did. A piece of the archway fell and almost hit you. Would have, if it wasn’t for Hoseok getting you out of the way.”

“I’m sorry,” Namjoon’s face, filled with shame appeared before you. “I should have known that the traps might still be active.”

“No, no!” You immediately rebutted, before dithering for something to say. “Don’t be sorry- um, if you’d known you would’ve told us, so…” You winced at your words as it seemed to have the opposite effect of what you wanted. “That is, I mean, Hoseok saved me so it isn’t as if I was hurt in the end, right?”

Something passed over his eyes then- though you failed to see it. Still, at the sight of your distressed face, he fell silent, before nodding. “I… I suppose that’s true.”

You turned to Yoongi. “That said… Um, I can remember that much- but what after?”

“You fell unconscious when the rock fell,” he continued. “We had to go back to the inn after that. Namjoon treated you, and we began to debate if we should go back and search without you, or if we should wait for you to take up. Still… Jungkook and Jimin had an argument. Taehyung took Jimin’s side, we attempted to break up the fight… But Jungkook ended up leaving.”

“No one knows where he is. The same goes for both Taehyung and Jimin.”

You heaved a sigh.

Great. What a disaster. Remembering the state of your group as you’d all set out to the ruins, the fight with Taehyung, and to an extent Jimin- not to mention Jungkook. 

And now you were all too aware of Seokjin’s stare on your back, the thoughts you’d been trying to keep down suddenly rushing up again, whirling in your mind.

Don’t do that don’t do that don’t do that (I know what you’re thinking I know I fucked up I’m sorry I’m sorry I’m trying my best can’t you see that please please pleASE-)

You slowly breathed out.

“...  We should-um, go on ahead with the plans. We’ll- we’ll meet back up here in a few hours, just…” You trailed off, trying to keep your voice even, though you knew your current mood was all too obvious. “B-Be careful. We’ll- er, we’ll set out again soon, o-okay?”

You resisted the urge to take in deeper breaths, resisted every urge to just let go of the building emotions in your chest.

“... Alright, Lady Y/N,” Namjoon hesitantly agreed. Hoseok fidgeted with his hands, shooting you concerned looks, and Yoongi’s eyes remained on you.  Still, all three followed your request.

The door closed shut- and you let out a sigh.

Seokjin’s voice was even- though you could still sense the hidden tone under his words. “Aren’t you going to go after him?”

“I-” you faltered. “I can’t. I mean...”

(-he’s right everything he said was true-)

You kept your gaze stuck on the floor, then, a part of you beating painfully fast as the conversation continued. 

“Really. Why not?”

“W-Why…” You cringed, your mind immediately scrambling for reasons to offer. But Seokjin’s voice remained calm, as if he hadn’t just suggested something ridiculous to you. “I’m not sure if you heard what he said, but-”

He smoothly cut you off. “Are you talking about how he said that you’re the most useless one, despite being the leader? Seeing as he all but screamed those words, yes, we heard them.”

You fell silent at his words, the familiar fall of your mood making itself known. 

(-I know I know I’m sorry please-)

“... It’s not like- I mean, it’s not as if he’s wrong anyway, so...” you murmured, gaze falling down to the sheets that covered you. “I-I haven’t been exactly useful or helpful in any way since we started…”

And wasn’t that the truth? 

(-please please can’t you just drop it-)

“You think I haven’t noticed?” He countered, before adding, “so you’re just going to give up like that.” You could practically imagine him raising an eyebrow at you then, unamused. “Without even putting up a fight.”

You avoided his gaze, afraid of the reaction that would be on his face. You’d faced that tone too many times to not be familiar with its matching expression- disappointment. “Yeah, well- what can I do anyway? That’s not something I’m good with at all, so… I-I mean, I’ll just make it worse, so… um, It’d be best for me to leave it alone, isn’t it?”

(-I can’t, I’m sorry, I hate that I’m letting you down-)

“Hah.” The mockery in his voice was clear. 

“This again? Even though I knew I shouldn’t have expected anything…” Faint- but clear, but present, all the same it was there and it was said.

You winced. “I’m doing my best, okay?” You protested weakly, though, even as the words left your mouth, you knew it was the wrong thing to say- Seokjin’s gaze turning frigid.

“... Do you?” He spat, his gaze sharp. “Even now you aren’t trying at all, you’re just running away again! Even from the start, and until now, all you’ve been doing is running away. Do you think that you can solve every problem like that?”

“Ever since we left, every incident that we’ve encountered, I handled it- not because I wanted to, but because I knew that if I didn’t, you certainly weren’t going to do anything about it. I thought that maybe with time you’d step up- but I guess I was mistaken.”

He scoffed. “You’re a disappointment.”

(-pleASE JUST STOP I KNOW I KNOW I KNOW ALREADY)

All at once, you felt the strain of the last few days finally breaking you down, having pushed you again and again until you just. Couldn’t. Take it.

You fully snapped, your fists clenched tight against the bedsheets.

"What," you gritted your teeth, your voice shaky as you glared at him, caution and dread turning into fury and a mix of other emotions that you couldn't separate, "is your problem?"

"What part of 'I never asked for this' do you not understand?" You snapped at him when he opened his mouth to rebut. "No, shut the fuck up and listen!"

"You're disappointed that I'm the one who came to this world, that I'm the one who came to be the 'saviour', but guess what," you hissed, viciously jabbing a finger in his chest. "I never wanted to go on this quest either!"

"I never wanted to be- to be worshipped like some kind of god, I never wanted to go with a bunch of judgemental, overgrown kids who think that they're all so high and mighty, that they're-"

You hiccoughed as a fierce swell of emotions made itself known.

"I didn't- I didn't ask to wake up here in this world and lose everything ever familiar to me," you choked out, your voice thick with unshed tears. "I’m sorry if you think I’m always just ‘running away’ or whatever but I can’t, okay!? I don’t- all of this, I’ve never even done anything like this, and I just- I just want to go home. I just want to see my home again and go back to the life I had. I miss feeling at ease alone, miss cooking and eating food that I love, miss the late nights where even if I'm not as happy as some people want to be, I'm content and I'm- I'm-"

You crumpled then, folding in on yourself as the cries became too heavy to speak through, your frame trembling as small whimpers and sobs left you. You did your best not to show how close you were then to fully breaking down, though you doubted you succeeded. 

When your muffled hiccups and sniffles dried down, you looked up. 

tired 

tired 

tired.

You were so so so tired. 

You just wanted out. 

You wanted out of everything, out of this quest and out of this world.

But you couldn't. You couldn't, so you had to do what you could do. You had to play along, you had to move on and you had no other choice but to do what the story wanted and finish the damn quest.

"S-So," your voice cracked, and you had no doubt you looked like a mess then. You didn't care though, your eyes only set on one person. "So, don't you dare look at me like my very existence is a disappointment, because I assure you, if I had a choice, I wouldn't be here at all," you laughed bitterly, remnant tears now spilling down your cheeks and unto the ground. 

For a moment you savored the hush that fell unto the room, letting yourself breathe-

And then you stood up, pushed past him and slammed the door.

»»————-　♔　————-««

As soon as you were at a distance away from the room, you released a shaky exhale, letting the familiar sting of tears come. What were you going to do now? You knew, when you started that it’d take a miracle to complete the quest- but so soon, not even a week since its start and you had already botched it up badly. And now the confrontation with Seokjin…

A fresh batch of tears began to roll down your cheeks.

You didn’t want to think about it, think about how you didn’t know why you were even chosen, nor how did whoever did thought you could ever lead these men-

Forward, you forced yourself to think as you took in deep breaths, trying to calm yourself down. I have to keep moving forward, because that’s the only way I can go.

No use moping. If you had energy to cry, then you had energy to think of a solution, didn’t you? 

You slipped out of the inn, your hood pulled up as you stepped through the back door. You winced as the loud noise of the bustling life of the town reached your ears- before you ducked your head as someone passed by. You still weren’t sure what you were going to do then, but you thought- well, you had to leave, if only for a little bit. Take a small break, alone, truly alone. You didn’t want to stay in that room for a second longer with Seokjin, nor did you want a chance for any of the guys coming back to check in on you or what.

Still, where would you go though? As you stepped out of the room, you had to acknowledge- there was no privacy, no peace and quiet to be had in the small town. It wasn’t as if you knew where to go either in the search of a place to think. 

But. 

If you’d like some privacy, there is a beach known only to us villagers. Outsiders are forbidden from taking a single step on it, but… of course, you are the exception, milady. It’d be our honor to have you ruse the beach in any way you need it.

Could you? You hesitated, not wanting to rely on your ‘saviour’ status, but then the chatter of the crowd reached your ears-

“Have you heard? The saviour is in our town! Our town!”

“What, only that? I’ve seen them walk around! Why, one of the vendors told me he even had the honor of meeting them when they bought food from him…’”

“I’ve also seen the saviour’s companions wander around… what are they looking for, I wonder?”

“Ahahah, is there any point thinking that- we’re just villagers. Our role is only to support them- no need to be too nosy!”

“True, true…”

… Tired. 

It hadn’t even been three full days, yet you were already tired. Peace and quiet… You just wanted respite from the heavy gazes your ‘status’ put on you.

You tapped a nearby villager on the shoulder. “... Excuse me, do you know where the apothecary is?”

»»————-　♔　————-««

As you stepped onto the sand, your feet sinking down, you had to admit- they were right.

The beach, seemingly devoid of all life at the moment was like a safe harbor for you- for once, no attention was put on you, no eyes following your every move. The area was still and quiet, and if you didn’t know any better, you’d think that you were truly far away from all life- but you knew that wasn’t true. The village was only fifteen minutes away from where you were. 

Still, it was a nice, rare, feeling that you indulged in for the moment.

You walked over to the coastline, feeling the gentle lap of waves around your feet. The water was cold and heavy, that even though you only came close enough for only your feet to be submerged, you still felt the chill travel through your body. 

Looking up, you saw the sea. The time was still too early for the sky to be anything but dark, yet you could see the colors slowly start to lighten up. Daybreak would come soon- but for now, the sea only looked forbidding and mysterious. Your mind wandered over to Jungkook at that. 

How did a kingdom look under the sea? How did they live?

An entire race of people who lived down there… You couldn’t even begin to imagine it. All your mind could bring up was from movies you’d seen before, and you wondered if their kingdom was anything close to that. It’d been three days- but you still hadn’t adjusted to your now reality. You didn’t think you ever could, really.

You were brought out of your thoughts when you heard the telltale sound of footsteps, your body instantly tensing, wary of enemies- only to deflate at the sight of hair the color of mint and a smile, amusement visible in their face.

You turned back to where you had been- viewing the sea. A part of you wanted to ignore Yoongi- you came here alone so you could be alone, for crying out loud. But-

You sighed as he sat down next to you, close enough that you could feel him near but not actually close enough for your shoulders to touch. For a moment you wondered if he’d speak up, but he only remained silent as he hummed lightly, the tune reminding you of the flute he’d played once. The two of you sank into a comfortable silence, the tension that had built up in you with his arrival seeping out.

“What do you want?” You eventually asked. “And how did you find me?” 

For his part, Yoongi only gave a shrug. “It was easy to ask around the places we’d visited. Not to mention, after that fight… I thought you’d want to go somewhere you could be alone.”

"... You heard us?"

"I stayed near just in case," he admitted. "The two of you don't have the best track record together after all."

You cracked a small smile at that. "True. Still, you knew I wanted to be alone, and yet, you’re here.”

“Someone has to though,” he pointed out. 

You let out a wry laugh. “Yeah, but still, that doesn’t change much, really. I mean, if you heard us, then what are you here for then? I mean, it’s not like he was wrong, was he? I don’t even- I don’t know what you want me to say. I’ve been trying to tell everyone that I’m not what you’re looking for and this happens and-”

You shuddered, for a moment wondering if you really were going to cry again- but you’d already done that, and even when you tried to grasp for any emotion inside you felt numb.

“-and I… I don’t know, I guess. Sorry,” you added, before burying your head in your arms, letting the fabric muffle your hearing and sight. For a moment you let the illusion of you being alone envelop you like a blanket, seeking comfort. “Just, um… Sorry.”

You stayed quiet after your speaking, dreading Yoongi’s response. You returned your gaze to the sea again, a part of you noticing that they’d become even lighter than before- you could slightly see the sand below

He sighed- you withdrew tighter into yourself.

“Look at me.” 

Which was why when Yoongi spoke next, then- it was the gentleness in his voice that surprised you.

Despite the way that Yoongi’s words were a demand, the tone in his voice made it feel like a request instead- and so you looked back at him, still feeling timid. When you met his eyes though, you couldn’t find any judgement or disappointment. Instead, Yoongi’s eyes were kind- sympathetic. “Everyone possesses their own skills, their own strengths- and weaknesses. Maybe it’s true that you haven’t been able to show your skills since we began this quest… But, you know what? We’ve only started. You don’t need to be so harsh on yourself.”

You smiled bitterly. “... Okay, but what if I don’t know what my strength is? If I don’t have one?” 

Yoongi only smirked. “Then you simply have to look for it and define it yourself, of course. And if you don’t have one, then you could make one, couldn’t you?”

You looked at him, stunned. His cheeks reddened, but he continued all the same.

“Anyway… I don’t believe at all that you’re useless. If you were, you wouldn’t have been able to come on this quest, much less become the leader,” he continued, the smile remaining on his face as, for once, you began to really take in his words. “I guess what I’m trying to say is… I believe in you. Even if you don’t think that you can be what we need, and maybe you can’t now- but I know you’ll grow into your role. Therefore, even if it’s just a little… I want you to believe in yourself too. Give yourself a chance.”

You fell silent once more as you mulled over his words, the quiet of the air around you broken only by the rhythmical lapping of the waves. You reevaluated Yoongi’s behaviour since you met, for once seeing them in another light- when he subtly, simply accepted you being the leader of the quest, even when you hate it and everything associated with it. Instead of continuously letting yourself go along with everything, believing that your efforts would only be useless- maybe you just try, at least, first.

Maybe there was some truth in his words.

“... Believe in myself… even just a little, huh?” You exhaled, watching rays of light slowly cast a gentle glow over the ocean waters- the sky turning to beautiful colors of red and orange, a pink glow appearing as well. The sparkles of light reflected into your eyes, combined with the stunning view of the daybreak- for once, since your arrival, you felt a rush of comfort and ease settle down in you. 

“... Give myself a chance.” You murmured.

“... Thank you,” you eventually told Yoongi, before breaking out into a sheepish expression. “Come to think of it, I think this is the first time we’ve actually had a serious one-on-one talk since our first meeting… You’re, um, actually really nice.”

“I’m not nice,” he deadpanned, before he frowned. “Wait, then what did you first think of me then?”

“That you were way too nosy and interested in other people’s lives,” you cheekily replied, a smile coming on your face for once, small it was as he rolled his eyes. “Although, hmmm, let me guess, everyone sees you as cold and intimidating?”

He rolled his eyes. “You’re not far off the mark.”

“Well,” you slowly started. “Now I know that isn’t true though. You’re actually quite kind.”

Silence covered the two of you once more- this time, only broken by the chirping of the birds- and you got up, thinking over your next actions. As Yoongi followed your movements, you found yourself hesitating for a moment- before you grabbed his hand, and, drawing him into a hug, you lingered for a few moments as you spoke. “I think... I think I needed that. S-So, um, thank you for talking to me,” you flushed, hurrying over your words before you grew too embarrassed to get them out. “That said, um, I should- I’m going to go after Jungkook and apologize- so, um, bye!”

Before he could react, before he could do more than tentatively hug you back you drew back you began to run away. “I’ll see you later at the inn- I’ll be back quick!”

You could only hear a low chuckle from behind you.

»»————-　♔　————-««

Where could he be?

It was only minutes in your search that you realized a glaring flaw in your plan- you couldn’t talk to Jungkook if you didn’t know where he was- and you didn’t even have a clue.

All that you could remember was that he’d left the inn from the others, and that he wouldn’t have left Rivermouth- but, still. The town was still, well, a town, one that you were unfamiliar with. You let out a heavy sigh. You didn’t quite think it out when you left, did you?

You slowed down your steps, unwilling to just run without a destination in mind- when you caught sight of black hair. You held your breath- before the man turned to the side, and you saw a familiar face.

“Jungkook!” You cried out his name, running over as quick as you could before he decided to get away, or something. “Wait for me, I need to talk- what is that?”

Halfway through your words you looked at him in astonishment as the glint of the metal in his palm stole your attention- a hairpin that held a familiar set of pearls. 

It was obviously delicately crafted, the wooden part of it long and slender, the end decorated with what seemed to be small, white flowers that you immediately recognized to be tulips. Numerous, and yet even more amazing was that each had pearls in the middle, making it glimmer in the sunlight. The amount of work put into making it clearly had not just been a little- what with the flowers being so detailed that you could have mistaken them for being real.

But that didn’t eliminate the question of why Jungkook had it- you looked up.

Jungkook’s expression then was similar to yours, wide-eyed in surprise as well before he averted his gaze too, red quickly rising to his cheeks.

“... For you.” In a manner that reminded you of the time you met him, he thrusted the hairpin into your hands. “... As an apology. No woman will turn down jewelry, right? ”

“... For me?” Your voice came out as quiet, bewildered, and when you turned back to Jungkook, you found him nervously nibbling on his lips, a furrow on his eyebrows as he looked at you with- determination?

“I-” he paused, before seemingly gathering his courage. “Yes, it’s for you. Is it possible- I mean, I wish to- may I talk to you? Alone.”

“Um- okay,” you agreed, feeling equal parts relieved and confused. “I wanted to talk to you too, a-anyway.”

Jungkook’s lips curled into a slight smile.

»»————-　♔　————-««

So here the two of you were, at the pub- which, early enough in the morning was quite sparse, the only people inside ones eating breakfast. The two of you had sat down to order food as well- though, you noticed with a degree of amusement, that Jungkook had ordered a wide array of dishes.

While waiting for your order, Jungkook began to speak, his voice low.

“I was at fault earlier,” he started- shaking his head firmly at you when you moved to protest. “It is. No matter what others say, I put us all in danger by being childish… and I apologize for trying to run from the blame.”

“Especially to you, who I almost killed,” he murmured, contrite.

You looked at him, stunned. You didn’t expect Jungkook to apologize- what more, to actually look and seem ashamed of his actions. You hesitated, the words you’d originally been preparing to say vanishing as you carefully thought over what you wanted to tell him. The kanzashi in your pocket felt heavier now that you realized its significance.

“... You’re- uh, forgiven,” you murmured, relishing in Jungkook’s reaction then. Apparently, he didn’t expect you to just so easily say that. Still, you continued forward, your voice trembling a little but pushing on all the same. “I… know I don’t have much to offer. Even if people say that I’m the ‘prophesied one’,” you huffed at the title, a wry smile on your lips. “And… I know it isn’t that obvious, but I just want everyone to succeed safe and sound.”

“... I realize that,” he hesitantly offered. “I... I heard from the citizens that you saved Seokjin when you first came. And… That moment, at the ruins, you saved me as well.”

You wince at the reminder, falling silent again. 

“I’m sorry,” he bit his lip. “You don’t- it was not a smart idea to bring up that topic, I realize.”

“No, no,” you immediately waved your hand, sighing. “It’s okay. I guess I was just a little worried about us as a team. I mean, this just reminded me that, just- we’re all still wary of each other, right? We really didn’t have any time to get to know each other. As a team. And- um, yeah.”

“... A team, huh?”

“Yeah? I mean, in a way, we’re, um, comrades or team mates, aren’t we?”

“I believe you’re the only person to call us that,” he murmured, amused, though he slightly smiled at you after. “But I like it.”

The conversation between the two of you was cut short as a waiter approached, in their hands your order. You both started eating- and then you snorted, chortling at Jungkook.

“Whoa, slow down.” You laughed as he continued to devour the food in front of him, a happy smile on his face. “You can always eat it again sometime. Maybe in the next town. Aren’t you even full already?”

“You don’t know that though,” he huffed, stuffing a loaf of bread in his mouth after. “Besides, I’m still growing. An abundant amount of food and nutrients is needed.”

“You’re going to get sick eating so much so quickly,” you pointed out. He side-eyed you, raising an eyebrow in mock offense.

“I wouldn’t. I’ll have you know that I’m not that weak,” he rolled his eyes, making you laugh again- what was the connection between being weak and not choking on their food? Jungkook, however, seemed to take your reaction as a challenge instead. “Here, I’ll prove it to you.”

Digging into his food with even more energy than before, he began to clear dishes at a faster speed- you readied the glass of water beside you.

Indeed, it only took a few moments before Jungkook began to suddenly cough, tears welling up in his eyes from what had to be a reaction to the food. You pushed the glass of water towards him- he chugged it down instantly.

You stifled the laughter building up in your throat at the indignant look on his face.

“Not that weak, huh,” you couldn’t help teasing him. Jungkook scrunched up his nose- you cracked up.

“How was I to know that food would have such a weird flavor, especially when mixed with other foods?”

You blinked at him in confusion. “What do you mean- um, have you… Have you never tried this before?”

His lips twitched, and dare you say it, Jungkook seemed to be pouting, a light blush on his face. “No, not really.”

But this is a common dish in the kingdom. The maid’s words from before resounded in your head, and you frowned, hesitant to speak up about your guess. While it was true that the meals served back at the feast were fancy and probably something only the royals normally ate… 

“Jungkook, have you…Is this your first time on land?”

Even as you spoke the words, you knew they were true, at least to some degree- Jungkook’s head whipped to you in surprise, doe eyes wide.

“Wait, really?” You blurted out. “But, I mean- aren’t you like the prince of your kingdom? Royalty?”

His lips twitched into a smile at your naivety. Jungkook seemed to calm down then- pausing for a few moments, before he sighed. “I’ve never left the comforts of my kingdom before, unlike now,” he confirmed your guess.

“But…”

“Mermaids…” He started explaining, “While we are not solitary creatures, we still don’t mix well with those on land. Our bodies… our history, and our culture were made for the watery depths of the ocean. More than that, we’ve never-” He paused, shrugging. “Never needed help from any other species.”

“So when-” You hesitated to say Jimin’s name, not wanting him to get angry. “-when it was said that you don’t have much experience in this…”

“Yes. I’ve never even met a human before this quest,” he admitted. “I was barely able to keep up with the different etiquettes and customs not only humans, but also other races have.”

For a moment he fell silent, eyes lowering to the table. And when he spoke again, his tone was different- more vulnerable.

“I- what happened at the ruins… I’m not sure if you were told about it, but Jimin and I had an argument,” he revealed. “He called me naive, ignorant, childish… Really, it was only the usual. And while I reacted the way I always did, this time… When I ran away, I began to think over his words. And I realize…”

His cheeks flushed pink as he looked up at you. “I have been acting like a child, haven’t I? Rushing headstrong into every task just to prove that I could, assuming that I knew what to do, being stubborn…”

"I... I promise to be better."

Jungkook's voice was barely a whisper then, low enough that you wondered if you were just hearing it. You looked up- eyes stared straight back at you- though you wondered how long his gaze would hold, with how red his face was.

"I mean-" He faltered, hands shooting up to partially shield his face, before he set them down again abruptly. "I mean, that."

"That...?" You gently prodded him, unsure where he was leading.

"That I'll be more mature!" He almost yelled, before his head thudded on the table as he, in your view, tried to become one with it. You bit back the laughter forming in your throat. 

Still, Jungkook groaned as he looked up, a pout on his face. "Can't you refrain yourself from laughing," he sulked. "I'm doing my utter best to be serious with you."

"I know you are," you reassured him, feeling the beginnings of a smile settle on your face anyway. "I'm listening, I really am."

He sighed. "You… To tell you the truth, when I joined this quest, it was because I wanted to prove to everyone that I could be someone great… But, honestly, now I wonder if I haven’t been too hasty. It seems all I have done is nothing but to bring trouble,” he sighed despondently, frowning at his plate. 

“That’s not true.”

He paused, looking back at you.

“You said it yourself, didn’t you? This is your first time here, so you’re still- um, you’re still learning, so…” You flushed under his attention. “So, I mean- that just means you still have room to grow. So don’t- um, it’s okay to make mistakes. You’ll… learn,” you finished lamely, before groaning. “That was terrible, wasn’t it?”

You hid your face in your arms, slumping on the table. This time, it was Jungkook who burst into warm chuckles. You hesitantly looked up- meeting his warm eyes.

“Maybe a little.” He laughed even more when you pouted, though he soon cleared his throat. “Still, it was clear to me what you wanted to say in the end, so- please, don’t worry about it.”

“Right,” you mumbled. “Right,” you repeated, before you remembered the kanzashi in your hands- carefully putting it in your hair then, twirling your hair into a bun before you inserted it.

You had to admit, you almost didn’t want to use it, afraid that you’d break it, or that you’d lose it, or something- but the way that Jungkook’s eyes widened with surprise, before he shyly smiled… Well, it was worth it. You could only hope you looked good with it.

“How does it look?” You adjusted it- too tight- mindful that moving it too much would cause it to come undone.

“... You look beautiful,” he admitted. You giggled at his response, especially when you noticed the light flush on his cheeks.

“... If the two of you are done having a heart-to-heart then, you should go back and get some rest, don’t you think?” A sudden voice joined in, making you two startle. 

You looked up- meeting Yoongi’s eyes as he sent the two of you mildly amused looks. “Considering you-” he nodded at you, “are supposed to be on bed rest and you-” this time he raised an eyebrow at Jungkook, who sheepishly winced, “haven’t been back at the inn since last night.”

“Since when have you been standing there?” 

“Jungkook, you haven’t slept at all?”

As both of your voices rang out in the morning air, you kept the frown on your face as you looked at Jungkook with concern, while he nervously avoided your gaze.

“... I, uh... “

You huffed. “We, are going to get you into a bed now. Right now.” As you spoke, you felt your eyebrows furrow even more at the signs of his sleep deprivation that you could see now, the most prominent being the bloodshot eyes that he sported.

When Jungkook appeared to protest, you only stared him down firmly- until he sighed, defeat being practically written all over him. You grinned, and then turned to Yoongi.

“That said, how did you know we were here?”

He only smirked. “I’ve been here from the beginning, Y/N. I was here before you two even arrived. This is the only pub in town, you know.”

You looked down at his table- covered in empty dishes- before facepalming, a groan leaving you. Yoongi only huffed in amusement at the two of you. “If you two are done, we should get going,” he repeated. “Do you know how long I had to wait for the two of you to finish talking?”

“I heard you the first time, old man,” you childishly rebutted. Yoongi raised an eyebrow at you, while Jungkook let out a snicker- and then covered his mouth with his hand with a horrified look on his face.

“Because you act like one,” you explained, a light, teasing smile on your face. “Always quiet, always tired, always exasperated… I also read that faes live the longest after elves.”

He snorted at your reasoning. “And here I thought we were friends,” he said, and if it wasn’t for the slight smile on his face you’d take him at his word- this time, though, you could read him better and you only beamed at him.

“The two of you are on good terms?” Jungkook asked, a curious glint in his eyes as he slowly relaxed, realizing Yoongi wouldn’t get mad at him. You shyly shrugged.

“Yoongi helped me- um, he talked to me and helped me realize some things after earlier.” 

“Oh.” Jungkook fell quiet at that. “And then you went looking for me,” he said, the sentence coming out a statement. You nodded.

“... Then, uh- thank you, Yoongi,” he mumbled hesitantly, eyes darting over to Yoongi who only shrugged in response, though you could see him slightly smile.

“Yeah, yeah, let’s get going already.”

»»————-　♔　————-««

“Thank you,” Jungkook eventually repeated as the three of you exited the pub, the sun now comfortably hanging in the sky, the morning sunny but not overly so. “Not only for hearing me out, even as I made all those blunders... And- that is, um, cheering me up,” he added shyly.

“No,” you smiled, feeling lighthearted for once in a long while. “I should thank you, and Yoongi too. You two helped me figure out some things about myself, remember? Maybe- we could do this again?”

“... Eating at a pub?”

“Is your mind always focused on food?” Yoongi shook his head teasingly at Jungkook, who tensed before relaxing again, a playful smile appearing on his lips too.

“I mean… eating out has to be better than staying inside our rooms all day, with that option we at least get to see the town,” he rebutted, his smile growing wider when he saw no real annoyance in Yoongi’s eyes.

“I’m resting, to replenish my energy,” Yoongi rolled his eyes. “Just getting here to this town made me more tired than I’ve been for the past ten years. Looking after you brats is no joke.”

Jungkook snorted, ignoring his last sentence. “For the past ten years, is it? Shouldn’t it be imperative you get more exercise then?”

“I’m a nature spirit, do you think plants move, why would I need to get more exercise-”

You couldn’t help giggling at their banter, reaching out to bump both shoulders playfully as you brought back the topic to before. “Jungkook, we don’t have to keep eating at a pub though, I’m sure we’ll be able to find other places to eat at in the next towns. And Yoongi, maybe we could walk around and explore too?”

“If I have to,” Yoongi sighed, but you could see him smile and you chuckled.

“I’ll look forward to it,” Jungkook grinned. 

»»————-　♔　————-««

When the three of you returned to the inn, it was to a somewhat strange sight so far. While the three of you had been out eating, apparently you'd missed something- it would explain Namjoon seated by the table, the map that was laid out before him, Seokjin seated not far off with a cup in his hands.

"Lady Y/N!"

You'd barely spoken up before Namjoon beamed at you, thrusting something in your face. You felt someone tug you back, as whatever it was in Namjoon's hands almost hit you- you glanced to the side to see Jungkook give you a small look of concern, to which you smiled back at him to reassure him. "It was a success!"

"I... Um, what?" You looked back at Namjoon, confused- his excitement waned a little as he realized you didn't quite understand him. He cleared his throat, calming down a little, a sheepish look appearing on his face then.

"Seokjin suggested we take another trip to the ruins, to see if we've missed anything," he began to explain. "The room we chanced upon before seemed to be the very one we needed- when we returned to examine it once more, we found a small patch of echo flowers remaining there."

"Echo flowers?" You looked at him in confusion. Beside you, you could feel Yoongi stiffen for some reason.

"... Echo flowers are magical flora that repeat the last thing they've heard," he murmured.

"Oh. Um, wait, what did they say then?"

Namjoon's dimples appeared even as an embarrassed smile grew on his face. "The next clue to our quest was admittedly quite simple."

It was then that he raised the small box again- the first word that came into your mind then was a music box, but it was obviously not quite the same thing, considering the context of the conversation.

"It's a simple invention of mine- it acts as how an Echo flower would, but- oh, it'd probably be best, Lady Y/N, if you experience it for yourself."

You hesitantly accepted the box, bringing it close to your ears.

For a moment, there was silence.

And then, laughter, warm, as a voice rang out.

"I don't think I could ever forget a second of this, really. But even if I did... I make sure everything is written down, so I don't ever lose even just a moment."

"'Written down'? You didn't strike me as the type of person to keep a journal, Alex."

A chortle. "Neither did I! But here it is, anyway. Maybe after this, though, I'll keep it for anyone who wants to search for this tower too."

"Why would you though?"

"Why not?"

As the last sentence ended, the voice dwindled down, the box shutting close- and you gently pulled it away from your ear, even as your mind raced with possibilities.

"So," you started. "We're looking for this 'Alex's journal'?"

You paused as a thought struck you. "Wait, Alex- isn't that, um, isn't that short for Alexander? I mean, he was the only one recorded to have entered the tower, right?"

Namjoon made a noise of pure glee. "Yes! As expected of Lady Y/N, you immediately understood it."

"The recording doesn't give us much help, though," Jungkook spoke up then. "Unless anyone has an inkling of a clue where we could look for it."

At that, Namjoon's dimples made a reappearance.

"Then the fact that I happen to have a huge clue where it might be should be quite a big help, don't you think?" He grinned as he set out a map on the table, hands smoothening over the edges, before he pointed to what seemed to be a city not too far off from where you were. "The city of Crossroads- known for its history in anything related to the Great War, as it used to be the human capital then. If I'm right, then it should be where Alexander left all his previous items and equipment."

You felt a smile slowly appear on your face. "Namjoon, are you sure?"

"Yes," he nodded. "I'm sure. Please trust me on this."

"Crossroads it is, then," you hummed, feeling a thrill go through you at the unexpected good news. "Thank you, Namjoon! Just when I was worried we weren't getting anywhere."

"I..." He ducked his head then, a red flush appearing on his cheeks. "I'm glad to finally be of help."

Your eyes slid past him then, at the sight of movement at the edge of your vision. It was then that you caught sight of Seokjin- and the quiet expression on his face as he regarded you.

All at once, you felt the giddiness wear off as you remembered something you promised yourself to take care of.

"Namjoon, Jungkook," you interjected. Both men turned to look at you then. "It's- um, it's been a long day... We should, uh, we should all get some rest, okay? We can, um, we can talk more about this on the road tomorrow."

As they started to vacate the room, you kept your eyes on Seokjin- Yoongi's hands brushing over your shoulder in a show of support as he left.

"Back so soon? I thought it'd take you longer. ... What did you want to talk about, then?"

Seokjin’s words remained neutral, not a hint of what had happened before leaking in- still, you had to prepare yourself just to get the words out. "What I said earlier- I'm not- I won't take back my words."

He raised an eyebrow at you, and you shakily let out the breath you were holding, your voice coming out even. 

"I won't take back what I said, because it's true," you repeated. "But... I had time to think, and I realize you aren’t exactly wrong either. I haven’t done anything but let others lead the way for me, letting them decide for me, so... I know it's not much, coming from me, and what I've been like so far, but..."

This time, when you looked him in the eyes again, it felt different- in a way, it felt easier.

"... I'll do my best," you vowed. “I’ll do what I can, to make this quest a success.”

This time, it was Seokjin who broke his gaze away first, focus transferring to stirring the tea he was holding. You simply grinned, then- the burden on your shoulders feeling somehow lighter. You turned on your heels, intending to go back to your room-

"I'll hold you to that."

Seokjin's voice, faint as it was, echoed clearly behind you.

»»————-　♔　————-««

You suppressed the urge to squeal, instead opting for rolling around, a grin on your face. You’d done that. You had, hadn’t you? You didn’t think you could, but you did, and you did. 

… And then you groaned.

You collapsed on your bed, sinking into the cotton sheets, embarrassment of sorts from what you’d just been doing catching up to you.

You knew it was stupid to get so giddy over something so little. But!

But, at least, you made progress today. Of a sort. That was something to celebrate, right?

You brought out the hairpin that Jungkook had given to you earlier, admiring the way the pearls easily shone under the moonlight. Although you couldn’t wear it often, as travelling on a horse meant bumpy rides- the gesture was still appreciated. More so when you remembered how the pearls in question must have been from when your two first met as well. 

So. Really, you’d done something right today, you nodded to yourself. Right. Though...

You exhaled a sigh as you remembered the remaining problem you still had to set right tomorrow- with Taehyung. After earlier with Namjoon and the others, you’d asked after the two, Hoseok as well, wondering where they went. Apparently, while Hoseok came with Seokjin and the others to the ruins, the two had come along (read: were ‘persuaded’ by Seokjin, most likely), and now each was in their own room. A part of you was relieved that even as angry as they seemed to be last you saw them, they were still putting in effort. Somewhat.

You’d set things right with Taehyung and Jimin, and- and you’d properly thank Hoseok as well, for saving you. 

You would… You would have to try too. Do better. You would do better. 

You couldn’t help the giddy grin then on your face, nor the burst of excitement that came along with the jitters. Really. You should be sleeping, but, as it was…

»»————-　♔　————-««

“Y/N.”

If Yoongi was surprised by your sudden appearance in the kitchen, hours into the night when everyone should be sleeping, he said nothing, only offering a nod

“Hi, Yoongi. Sorry- um, sorry to be a bother.” You returned the smile shyly, accepting the unspoken invitation for what it was as you took a seat across him. The rich smell of tea wafted around the table.

He only shook his head. “I wouldn’t mind some company right now, really. Don’t worry about it. That said… You couldn’t sleep?”

You smiled sheepishly. “Not after today, I guess.”

“I guess the last few days have been kind of crazy,” he agreed, hands reaching out to pour another cup of tea, before he pushed it towards you. You hesitated for a moment, before raising the cup close, the smell of milk distinct amongst the sweet tea. “That should help.”

“Ah, thank you,” you murmured, taking a sip- humming in pleasure as the sweet taste of the tea enveloped your tongue. There was something mellow, honey-like in the taste, with a hint of apple as well. Yet the milk added a creamy texture to the smoothness of the tea. You weren’t quite sure what kind of tea you were drinking, but it was admittedly delicious. 

For a moment the two of you said nothing. 

If the moment now had happened a few weeks ago, you would’ve been scrambling for an excuse to leave, highly wary and uncomfortable. If the time was shifted to a few days ago, you would have tried to endure it, tense and uneasy. And if it had been the day before… You would have been a nervous wreck.

But right now, it was easy to let the tension slip off your shoulders like a cloak. Even if you and Yoongi weren’t exactly friends (yet, a part of you hoped. You weren’t friends yet), it was at least easy to think of him as something close to a ‘comrade’. Someone who had seen the worst of you, and chose to help you anyway. Maybe that made all the difference, you mused.

“!?”

Though unexpectedly, someone else came down too.

With his hair in a fluffy mess, doe eyes wide and mouth in a small ‘O’, Jungkook, looked- well, like a deer in headlights as he stood by the doorway.

“I guess that makes two of you unable to sleep,” Yoongi lightly commented, amusement visible in his voice, “Sit down, will you?”

And then there were three.

»»————-　♔　————-««

“This moment feels somewhat surreal,” Jungkook started as he sipped his tea, a little smile on his face. “When I set out for the quest, having tea in the middle of the night wasn’t exactly something I envisioned. You both aren’t what I thought you would be like.”

“Really?” You blinked in surprise. “Wait, then what did you expect?”

He shrugged sheepishly. “I imagined it mostly how they describe heroes in stories. It didn’t really help what they told me about when you first arrived… I thought you would appear fully armored, with even a metal helmet, and a sword to boot. Or a bow, perhaps.”

Your lips twitched, and you huffed even as you smiled. “Sorry to break it to you, but I don’t have a deck of armor, and I’m not good with swords or weapons either. In fact, I barely even know what I’m doing here.”

Jungkook shook his head. “That’s alright with me. I don’t know what I’m doing either,” he grinned at you, the way his front teeth protruded out of his mouth reminding you of a bunny. “This just means we can learn how to be better for this quest together.”

You let out a startled laugh, your cheeks reddening. “Huh. I guess that’s true, huh?” You took another sip of your tea before you remembered something. “Well, again, I don’t have anything really amazing or what, but… Well, I do have this.”

You pulled out the item in question from your pocket, laying it out on the table for both men to see.

With a seemingly immaculate golden gleam to it, the key you laid out was simple, unassuming. It could have easily been mistaken for any other key, except the difference between others and this particular key was the beautifully engraved stars alongside the handle.

You were just about to talk about it, when you heard Yoongi mutter in astonishment. “The Key of Eden. The only key known in existence to be able to open any door, no matter if it’s magical or not.”

You looked at him, surprised. “Um- yeah. Kind of amazed you can tell what it is with just a glance, but- um, when they, I mean, when I went into his supposed treasury…” You trailed off, unsure how to word it. “I felt like- um, sorry, I know this is kind of weird but I’m serious- it was calling out to me? Like-” you fumbled, waving the object in your hand as though that would help emphasize your words. “Everything else, it felt wrong to take them what more bring them along, but, um, this key- it felt like in contrast I just had to bring it along. Does that- does that make sense? Sorry.”

“No, it’s alright,” Yoongi shrugged. “But I guess this really proves you’re not cut out for fighting at all, huh.”

You wryly smiled. “I guess you can say that. Makes me feel kind of- well, hopeless...”

“There are still other ways to help,” Jungkook reassured you. 

“I know,” you sighed. “But, um, I guess it’s just that I feel like I know nothing? And yeah, I’m learning, and all that, but- I mean, I’m new to all of this, and I don’t even know just why or how magic is so important to anyone in here. I mean, I’ve barely seen it in use aside from when I arrived… I just, um, I just don’t get it, I guess…”

“Weren’t there books on that at the library?” Yoongi frowned.

“There wasn’t much, really…” You sighed. Next to you, you heard Jungkook let out a soft ‘oh’, and you turned to him.

“As a fae, and one who’s lived for so long at that, you could give us an introduction to magic,” Jungkook grinned at Yoongi- who, seeing the hopeful look in your eyes paired Jungkook’s own excitement, only sighed. With an eye roll, he started talking.

Magic, as Yoongi explained it, was simply the result of a person exerting their will on the world, manipulating nature, with varying success. It couldn’t be quantified in numbers, but there were ways to feel how much in relative terms your magic was. Still, it was rarely needed, because… Well, contrary to your belief, magic wasn’t quite the all-encompassing presence you thought it would be in daily life. Oh, it was present, definitely, but it turned out that an elf could have as much magic as a human did. 

Races who had longer lifespans also had less capacity for magic than races with shorter ones, Yoongi explained, the only exception being the fae who were tied almost as one to the magic of the world. Elves, and vampires, the ones who lived longest had barely any magic, but they made up for it other ways- elves had their innate knowledge of nature as well as the certain talent for bows. Vampires had their lack of need for sleeping, eating or air. Fae lives as long as elves, however, unlike them they had magic as they were born directly from and with magic itself. 

“A way to tell apart pureblood vampires and ones that are turned from other races is if they breathe,” he added. “Because vampires don’t need to take in air like other races, they don’t have the habit of breathing. Their chests are perfectly still, unlike those turned.”

Your thoughts wandered over to Jimin, finally being able to put into words what exactly it was about seeing him every time that made you uncomfortable, more than the others- not just his red pupils, but the lack of human respiration, the subtle tells that told you he wasn’t human, more than the others… 

“Moving on, dragon and yokai.”

Dragons and yokai lived for a few hundred years as well, though not as long as the first two. The only magic dragons possessed was their ability to shift between their draconic form and their more human one- you were taken aback to find out that breathing fire and flying didn’t require the use of magic at all, at least for them.

“Not only are the wings of dragons wide, they’re also thick and powerful- enough to lift them up and make them soar despite their weight,” Yoongi explained. “With dragon fire, they have a separate organ filled with a special fluid- when they want to breathe fire, they draw it into their throat, where water mixes with it. The resulting mixture is highly flammable, so much that the moment they open their mouth, the mixture coming in contact with air instantly erupts in flames.”

“Wow,” you breathed out, entranced by his explanation. “So that’s how dragons breathe fire.”

“... I wonder if it’s just oxygen that they need to make the flammable liquid erupt,” you mused, not noticing Yoongi’s soft smile then. To the side, Jungkook looked just as captivated by Yoongi’s words as you were, for once silent, though his eagerness was evident in the way his eyes shined.

Yokai, he told you both, were a mixed race. Some lived almost as long as vampires and elves- but just as much yokai lived lives the length of a human’s. Their only magic was to shift forms too, between their more natural form and ones that resembled humans.

“Only kitsune like Taehyung can easily switch between the two whenever they want, though. In fact, the kitsunes’ main ability to shapeshift without restrictions, and for however long as they want- it’s a huge reason why they’re considered the representatives of the yokai. Though it also comes with its own disadvantages- the source of their magic, a kitsune’s Hoshi no Tama, is separated from them when they’re in human form. If caught, it binds the kitsune to do their bidding.”

Finally, mermaids, mages and humans. All three had an average lifespan of a single century, but in return, they had the greatest potential for magic. Or, at least, mages did.

“It’s a mystery why exactly, but only a very, very small amount of humans can use magic. Most of the populace don’t, even if when we check, they have more magic in their body than dragons and yokai.” You could feel Jungkook’s curious stare almost burn a hole at your side- although, if you were in his position you probably would’ve been the same.

You tapped your finger on the table, exhaustion from the day’s events having dissipated as the conversation continued. “Wait, but I…”

“You were able to do magic, right?” You nodded your head at Yoongi’s question.

“They say your magic was able to blast the pixie to the point of it being severely injured,” Jungkook added in, before turning to Yoongi again. “That means Y/N is part of those who can use magic, right?”

Were you? You turned over the facts in your head. As much as you wanted to believe it, what happened then with the pixie- it was a one time thing. You’d think if you could do magic, you’d see a sign somehow. But no, none.

Then again, you hadn’t tried deliberately using magic...

Yoongi frowned. “That’s actually something I wanted to check right now.”

“Check?” You echoed, confused. He only nodded.

“Can you give me your hand?”

Wordlessly you acquiesced, laying your hands on the table. Yoongi pulled out a small orb, before he placed it in your hands and tapped it gently. You raised an eyebrow, but kept quiet.

Seconds passed, and then a full minute- but still, the item in question remained dull.

“But…” Jungkook gaped. “That was a magic orb, was it not? If so, then it should have lit up, at least a little. Why is there no reaction at all?”

You blinked in surprise. As much as you already expected it, a part of you was also disappointed and confused- could you do magic or not?

“That’s what I thought, too.” Yoongi examined the orb in your hands again for any change, before finally deeming it the same as ever. “I want to try something next. Keep your hands on the table.”

With that said, he grasped one of your hands in his, making a familiar feeling jolt in you. What felt like electric static at first melted away into an easygoing calm, before it felt as though you were slowly being enveloped by pressure, the heavy weight of something serious about to happen-

You couldn’t help squeaking in surprise as the orb, previously still and dull, started to shine brighter and brighter. You pulled your hand away from Yoongi, standing and leaning away to shield your eyes from the light-

- and instantly the light died down.

In the silence that followed, it was Jungkook who spoke up first. “That… That was amazing,” he said, awed, before a look of realization came on his face. “The orb lit up, however, only after Yoongi placed his hand on yours- what does that mean, then?”

Yoongi only shook his head at Jungkook’s question. “I’m about to get to that. Y/N, I want to ask you- did you feel anything when I touched your hand?”

You hesitantly nodded. “Yeah. It felt like I was standing in front of a huge wave, and it was about to crash down on me- before I started to feel like I was controlling it instead?”

“As I expected,” he murmured.

“... I think that time with the pixie too, it was like this,” you added hesitantly, remembering the event in question. “But,uh, unlike with yours, it felt like I was touching something… Something unnatural in every way.”

“Then…” 

“Y/N... you don’t have any magic power yourself, but you can absorb and use other people’s magic.” Yoongi’s statement was blunt, sure- and you gawked at him. 

“I- what? Really?” You blurted out. He nodded, a small smile appearing next.

“I expected it in the beginning, really. To be honest, no one knows for sure why some people have stronger magic than others. Though the ones with the greatest amount always end up in history books- royalty, commanders, pioneers. Still, the greatest of them all, Alex… he didn’t have any magic power like you,” he revealed.

“Considering their shared position as saviors, I supposed it makes sense.” The awe in Jungkook’s eyes hadn’t disappeared as he peered up at you- only strengthening. “Y/N, that’s amazing!”

“... I still don’t know how to use magic though,” you sighed. “This doesn’t change the fact that the only thing I can use is this-” You pulled out the key again, waving it in the air, “-key. Which, I might not even be able to use, seeing as it needs magic too.”

“I don’t think you need magic to use it,” Yoongi shrugged. “After all, if he didn’t have any magic, but he still used it, don’t you think it’s possible there’s a way for you to use it without magic too?”

“Besides,” he added, a glint in his eyes that made you wary. “If you need someone to teach you magic,” he turned to Jungkook with a playful smile, “she’s in the best hands already, isn’t she?”

“... What do you mean?” 

“Oh! Of course,” Jungkook exclaimed with a grin. “Namjoon would love to teach you, I’m sure.”

You wheezed. “No… You can’t be serious,” you groaned, dramatically collapsing on the table. Jungkook laughed at your reaction, while Yoongi only smirked.

After that, the conversation then dwindled. Though, what followed it was a comfortable silence, only the chirping of night owls and crickets filling the air. You didn’t know how much time had passed since you went down, content to just let yourself exist in the moment for one. The familiar solace you found in being awake when the world was asleep, free to just be was one that you were all too happy to indulge in for as long as you could. Even if you were with company unlike before, but- maybe that just added to the comfort of the situation.

It was a sentiment you knew the other two shared, but then-

You yawned, just a little. Still Yoongi’s eyes instantly caught the action, and he set his cup down.

“Alright, that’s enough for tonight. The two of you should go to bed now.”

“And you?” Jungkook protested- was that a pout? You cracked up, giggling.quietly.

“I’ll be up in a moment,” Yoongi shook his head. “I just need to clean up.”

“And before any of you two say something like ‘we’ll help’ the answer is no. Go on, get to sleep.”

Yoongi’s words washed over you, reminding you of the bed upstairs-. You hummed, feeling drowsiness cover your body like a warm blanket. “... Okay,” you easily acquiesced with a yawn. “C’mon, Jungkook.”

With your approval thrown in, the younger could only scrunch up his nose as he followed after you. You journey from the kitchen to the stairs, and then your room was slow. Your thoughts went over the day’s events- you really had done a lot today, hadn’t you? Your bed seemed like heaven now- one you were eager to get into.

It was when you were at the threshold of your room that you heard Jungkook speak up, his voice a mumble as he called your name. You stopped, turning back to face him.

Seeing that he had your attention, he ducked his head for a moment- and you had to strain your ears to hear what he was saying-

“... This was enjoyable. I prefer this much better to what we had before, I think.”

- and oh, your heart stuttered, feeling warm. A small smile appeared on your face at his words.

"I feel the same, Jungkook."

He smiled bashfully, and, without thinking, you raised your hand to brush away the bangs that had fallen on his face, just so you could fully see his reaction then- ignoring the flush that erupted on both of your cheeks afterwards. Immediately you dropped your hand, and you coughed, trying to ignore what just happened.

“Thanks for tonight. Thank you for the hairpin too, I’ll take good care of it even if I can’t wear it often. I… Goodnight.”

“G-Goodnight,” he stammered. You giggled, finally heading inside your room and closing the door. It didn’t take much to get yourself ready for bed, and you collapsed down on the mattress with a sigh.

... Turning your gaze to the ceiling then, you thought, as disastrous as the last few days had been, things were starting to turn for the better.

#bangtanscenery #bangtanhq #bangtanfairygarden #ficswithluv #bts x reader #ot7 x reader #seokjin x reader #yoongi x reader #hoseok x reader #namjoon x reader #jimin x reader #taehyung x reader #jungkook x reader #bts fanfiction #bts fic

[uncuentofriki]

Coco or “How to pretend to be woke because of a fandom” and other ghosts.

After hearing the posibility that Parasite could get a remake, I heard that it wasn’t necessary -and ultimately, useless- because the director wanted to show how, despite the localization and the theme of the story everyone could resonate with the story and its themes. I saw it and yes, despite that the working-class family eats ramedon while I do wonders with tortillas to survive, the struggles of making ends met whatever it takes are mostly the same. And I don’t want a Parasite mexican remake either, as they did a years ago with indian movie 3 idiots. The movie is perfect on their location and you just need some empathy to understand what the other is feeling or living, even if your language or uprising wasn’t the same. 

A while ago I did a post explaining the feeling of exclusion in the fandom of Coco. Despite that it’s a movie that occurs in some part of Mexico, the mexican creators were displaced by people that just had the movie and some cartoons like Mucha Lucha or El Tigre as a reference for our culture. We tried to reach to “the other side of the bridge” by translating songs, fanfiction, comics and whatever we made, out lof love and excitement for sharing our culture for the first time masively on this media. I even translated historical documents and cursing words. And it was fun and interesting to see people engaged on our culture... only to soon be displaced or unheard of. Come to think about it some time later, it was cultural appropiation. It was “woke” at the moment to say you liked Coco, it was a way to say “oh, yes I like diversity” but  the actual people represented on that story were massively ignored (I wonder if in less divisive time for inmigration it would be as beloved as it was). I like the story... but whatever the people that live that culture explain about it, I don’t care.  I’ll take for example Rossanna Pansino (Nerdy Numies) with her Pan de Muerto. She said that the decoration of the bread is a marigold flower, which isn’t true (It’s boooooone! -read this in Captain Holt’s voice, please-). The recipe was mostly correct (Orange blossom water isn’t that easy to find, I know, plus it’s expensive), but that part made me lost any interest on her channel forever (haven’t seen her channel since). Rossanna could had done a research, see photos of the bread, watch other channels on Youtube (there’s a recipe on english on youtube), whatever. Yet she disrespected a beloved tradition and dish. No, we don’t do different versions of it. It has bones on top. End of the story. You don’t move ANYTHING from it, period, because it’s symbolic of the legend of the creation of the men, the four cardinal points and our own mortality as human beings, and it’s one of the most important elements on the Altar.  (Also I’m a baker’s daughter and if you recall how strict the Rivera’s are about their traditions, that’s how strict we are with recipes -the only ones allowed to move something from them are other mexicans and it’s only to make it tastier, like the shrimp pozole, not whatever Barefoot Contessa did to it).

The fandom felt... colonialist. The questions, which I answered with all the love and patience first, got more and more tiredsome to answer because people wanted reasons and ways to adapt the story to occur on their country or on a situation that doesn’t happen here... despite that seeing another culture was what supposedly made them fall in love with the story. One of those was wanting the lake on Santa Cecilia to freeze. While certainly it snows on the north states of Mexico, if we take in account some hints of the location, Santa Cecilia is nowhere near the north. And even when it has snowed on Guadalajara -where I live-, it’s not cold enough to freeze the Santiago River or the Chapala lake. But for some reason fuck geography (and if the lake freezes then we’ll be damned because that’s how bad global warming is to give a such a cold winter to a valleythat’sabove 25 grades Celsius almost all the year).  We explained over and over how some social situations aren’t the same, how incomes on certain profesions doesn’t translate. It’s more frustrating as an EFL teacher to see that I can perfectly explain social situations to my students and they get it, yet I explained over and over and over and my time investigating, translating and answering those same questions about my culture was basically, ignored or glossed over like “yes yes, you live it, you were born into it, buuuuut my idea of how your society and culture works is better”. IT’S NOT. It’s just different. I won’t try to mexicanize something from an american -or in my time as a hardcore otaku, japanese- culture. I won’t make, IDK, Chihiro from Spirited Away to serve Pozole to Kaonashi just because it’s easier for me to do so. (And also that’s why I hate lots Pride and Prejudice and Zombies, it shits over martial arts... and I tried hard to see the story as a parody but no). That’s also why I left the Rock AU incomplete and most of my fics are untranslated (and why a lot of mexicans ran away from the social media created around the movie). Why translate it, why continue it if the apparent love for my country and its music and traditions didn’t translated when I took time to craft a story that shows more about the modern musical scene here (along with other social issues). Why keep helping people that asked and yet ignored what I said or tried to make me justify stuff that DOES NOT (AT ALL) happen or happened here. Why even bother if someone who isn’t even from my country is the one that they prefer to get the information, as wrong as it can be. 

It’s amazing also that I got silenced and dismissed over my last rant about this feeling. It’s not jealousy, it’s a wake up call to fandoms in general. You can’t call yourself woke or culturally aware or whatever if you consume media from or based on foreing cultures and silence the people who live it or try to adapt it into your culture just because it’s easier or if you like characters that are people of color. Fandom it’s not absent of colonialism or racism, even on this kind of works. And we should be aware and learn of the mistakes we made along the way, because it’s disheartening for future media creators from other cultures (me included) to see that while we’re trying to adapt our culture and what we love -and hate- the most of it (even if it’s a fantasy counterpart, like it’s the case of the novel I’m working on), it’s going to be ignored over or tried to got converted over to whatever they want (creative fan freedom has a limit and that’s the societal and geographic rules of the setting). Because that’s the actual point of diversity in narrative, not trying to make everything more uniform like most american/european series that have a two-three whites and two-three people of color (if feeling lucky) but they’re barely different from each other in culture (except if there’s an asian on the cast, most of the time). The point of stories like Coco or parasite to show how despite the differences, we all can live similar situations, we all love and laugh and lose and keep going, in our own unique way, even if we’re miles away.

So please, if you’re aproximation to any work set in another culture is just that you thought it’s pretty and forget about the people that live it everyday... stay away from it. Or decolonize yourself first and don’t use the work to make yourself seem more socially aware. You will just contribute to systematic exclution of other creators.

#Coco #Coco Pixar #colonialism #discourse #cultural appropiation #fandom

[musicfeedsmysoul12]

The Wedding

Commission from @crazyfanatic97!!! This was a lot of fun!!!

Almost every little girl dreams of her perfect wedding. She dreams of the dress and her Prince Charming and the food. Marinette’s been dreaming of her perfect wedding since she was thirteen and met Adrien Agreste. Much of it had changed since she was a kid- no white horses or magical carriages. Instead, it was a wedding in a gorgeous venue. A large fountain was bubbling outside the venue in a garden where they would take their photos. 

 The Kwami she was responsible for as Guardian were all secretly in attendance in the rafters, with their little tables and chairs. Her friends and family were all in attendance, with her best friend’s mother and her own parents catering the event. 

 The best thing of all was that she hadn’t been wrong about her groom. Oh sure- there were some years she thought perhaps she’d be marrying a future rocker or a fencing star or her superhero partner. But instead, she was right on the money when she was thirteen years old. 

 Adrien Agreste. Her fiancé, her future husband. The light of her life. She was so happy to be with him.

 The only downside to the day was that her partner, her kitty, wouldn’t be in attendance due to a wedding of his own. It hurt, a little. But she tried to focus on her own happiness.

 “You look beautiful Marinette,” Alya told her as they fixed the tiara in her hair, most of her hair down her back and curly.

  Marinette was wearing her own design today, a beautiful white dress with a veil for her hair, off the shoulder straps that showed off her collarbone and neck. The top layer was white with the bottom two layers- one barely peeking out underneath the others- silver and sparkling enough to be beautiful and not tacky. Gold sparkled on her dress as well, making it shine all the more. She had no red or black in her design- to dangerous for anyone to possibly guess her identity. 

  “Thank you, Alya,” Marinette said, smiling at her friend- her maid of honour. And part of the Miraculous Team though no one really knew that. Marinette smiled to herself. The entire team was part of her wedding party and she couldn’t be happier.

 “We ready?” Marinette’s mother said, poking her head in. “Oh, baby…” Sabine wore a beautiful red cheongsam with gold designs. She looked so proud of her daughter as she strode forward to hug her. “You look beautiful.” Sabine sniffled and Marinette felt pinpricks of her own tears.

 “Oh mama, don’t cry! I’ll cry too!” Tom poked his head in and looked like he was about to burst out sobbing himself dressed in his grey tux. No black- it may have been a more western wedding but Marinette had wanted some homage to her heritage and had asked for everyone to avoid black given the fact it was bad luck at Chinese weddings. 

 Adrien, she knew, would wear a silver suit with gold highlights. His groomsmen and women would wear gold with red accents like her bridesmaids and bride’s dude. 

 It was perfect. Nothing could ruin this day.

 “AKUMA!”

 Or perhaps something could. 

 The doors slammed open and an Akuma stomped into the dressing room. The Akuma wore a classical wedding dress and had a long veil. Gold and black designs covered her and she snarled at Marinette.

 “I am Objector! And you, Dupain-Cheng- I object to!” It wasn’t hard to realize who it was given the hair.

 “Lila? Are you serious?!?” Marinette shouted in her anger as Objector used a ring on her finger to put her into a bubble.

 “I’m  Objector!!! And I OBJECT TO THIS WEDDING!” 

 Marinette felt she honestly shouldn’t be surprised. After the announcement of their endgame the there had been multiple instances of Akumas of Adrien’s fangirls. Lila hadn’t been one but she had basically harassed Adrien until he’d blocked her on social media and her number.

 Why shouldn’t there be an Akuma today? And why shouldn’t it be Lila? She had been exposed after college- everyone had started seeing holes in her stories. No one had really cared about her after that. Sure she had gotten in huge trouble with her actions towards Marinette but she’d faded more or less into the background. Would have fully if Gabriel hadn’t kept her on as a model. And even then after Adrien had threatened Gabriel to stop pairing them up together she rarely appeared at all. But she was still around, trying to get to Adrien.

 Marinette really couldn’t be to shocked. 

 “Let me go!” She snapped at Lila. The woman ignored her and instead went looking for Adrien. Marinette could hear her muttering about how their wedding would be better and how soon Marinette would be out of the way and…

 Marinette snuck a peak to her hair where Tikki hid. The Kwami looked as bored as she felt. The two rolled their eyes together. 

 “Hopefully Adrien is hiding well enough… and Alya tells them where I am. I’m so happy we bought the Akuma Package for this event.” Marinette grumbled as she waited for Chat to show up. She couldn’t transform now in the bubble. 

 Luckily she didn’t have to wait long- Chat showed up pretty fast. But it took a while until he could pop the bubble and she could run off and hide. 

 Running off and running back transformed, Marinette hopes it would be a short time to defeat Lila. No time limit or not, Kwami still needed food to be able to be transformed. 

 Of course, she didn’t get her wish. Not even on her wedding day. Lila had always been an annoying Akuma and this time was no different. It took hours to fight off the Akuma- and half of the cit was wrecked from her anger. In the end, they had to recruit a few random cops to give a hand and trap Lila. Destroying the ring and releasing the Akuma, a lot of energy went to fixing the city.

 “Why are you wearing a white dress?” Chat asked her, but Ladybug barely paid attention to the answer- crashing a wedding of course- and instead took off. She needed to get back to the revenue, she needed to get back there in time for the wedding.

 She ran upside a building, planning to take the rooftops to the revenue. However, it appeared that Karma was not on her side that day.

 She was halfway across the roof, her earrings beeping, when the transformation overtook her, leaving her in her wedding dress.

 “Oh no!” she groaned, covering her face as Tikki let loose a stream of curses that impressed the designer. “Is there any cookies around?” Marinette asked the Kwami who sighed. After Chloe’s reveal of Kwami everyone knew they recharged by eating certain foods. So sometimes civilians would leave things outside during fights. 

 “Too much of the city was damaged,” Tikki told Marinette who groaned even louder.

 “...Marinette?” asked a voice from behind and she turned to see Chat Noir standing behind her, staring at her in shock. Marinette felt her cheeks flush as Tikki eeped from beside her. Well… this was one way to tell her partner who she was. She didn’t care he knew now. That had been on her mind for a while- a reveal. She wanted Adrien to know to, so he wasn’t worried when she ran off or when she got busy with dealing with Akuma. She’d been lucky her career had taken off like a jet just by designing Jagged’s clothing and him recommending her. She had never had to get a job at a fashion house or anything. She had never worried about that part of her life. It had only been her romantic life she’d been worried about issues appearing because she would vanish on them. It was why some of her relationships failed. Adrien had been perfect but she knew it couldn’t last forever. Not after getting married.

 “Hey, Kitty… hey could you give me a lift?” she asked hopefully. Chat blinked but then laughed.

 “Of course m’lady.” something about the grin in his face made her eye him a bit warily. He swept her up. “I’m low too but I should be able to get to the revenue.” Marinette rattled off the address as he took off, jumping across rooftops, landing on a few fire escapes.

“My shoes!” Marinette said as they fell off over one jump. Chat immediately jumped down into the alley where they were. 

 Unluckily that was when the bad luck side of the Black Cat Miraculous acted up. One second Chat Noir was holding her, the next Adrien in his silver suit was. Both stared at each other for a long moment. Marinette burst out into laughter, covering her face while Adrien couldn’t help his own laughter. She leaned up and kissed him right on the mouth, Adrien sinking into it. 

 “We’re so ridiculous and blind.” she laughed. Adrien laughed as well. Marinette pulled off him as Tikki said she found the shoes… but one was broken.

 “Great.” She sighed, leaning her head on his shoulder. “Just great.”

 “You’re veil thing is ripped too.” Plagg voiced and Marinette groaned loudly, burying her face into Adrien’s shoulder. 

 “What street are we on?” Adrien asked. Tikki went to find it and Adrien let out a sigh of relief. “That’s about six blocks from one of father’s stores. We can walk there and call someone to come get us.”

 “You can put me down once we get to the sidewalk,” Marinette told him as he carried her out of the alley. “It’s pretty clean around here.”

 “You sure? I mean… it’s still gross. And you’re wearing stockings, those will get ruined.” Adrien said to Marinette who nodded.

 “They’re not that expensive stockings.” She told him. Adrien put her down in the street, while some people stared at the couple in wedding clothes.

 “Akuma was after us,” Marinette told them. They all nodded and moved on. The two began moving quickly down the street, Marinette already telling the stockings were getting ruined as they jogged. 

 “Lady! Your veil!” one woman called out, picking up the veil when it fell off Marinette’s head. Marinette took it from her with a smile, and continued her jog.

 A few times she got snagged on somethings and had to detangle the dress, knowing it was getting ripped and a little ruined. Luckily it was mostly in one piece when they made it to the store. Said store was right in front of a fountain with a ledge around it to sit, something Marinette took advantage of.

 “Go in and call. I want to see the damage to my dress.” Marinette told Adrien.

 “Of course. I’ll also see if I can’t charge any shoes to my account.” Adrien told her. Marinette nodded, and she began inspecting her dress. Not too bad- a little torn on the bottom layer but you couldn’t really see it. 

 Marinette was so busy inspecting the dress that she barely realized someone was running at her until she was knocked into the fountain.

 “YOU STUPID-” Marinette struggled, shoving whoever it was off of her, but the person got a good hold of her bodice and ripped it. Marinette shouted as the person managed to get a hold of her again, at least until people managed to separate them.

 “OF COURSE IT’S YOU!” Marinette yelled at Lila who glared at her hatefully.

 “I should be the one marrying him you stupid Asian-” Lila began blasting a list of Italian insults as Marinette tried to get out of the fountain but had to be helped by someone. Marinette looked down at her dress and wanted to start crying. It was ruined-  utterly ruined. The bodice was ripped, and it was soaked through. 

 “Marinette!” Adrien cried out, running from the store. With him are a few attendants, all staring in shock as Marinette gave up her fight and burst out into heavy sobs. “Excuse me, officer- I’d like to press charges,” Adrien said to an officer who had shown up, as Adrien wrapped his arms around Marinette.

 “WHAT!?” Lila shrieked as Adrien gave her the coldest look he could. Which was fairly cold given he was Chat Noir and had faced off some pretty nasty Akuma. “But-”

 “No- I’ve been done with you for years. The only reason I never pressed charges is because my father felt it would look mad. Well now, I don’t give a damn.” Adrien snarled before he and the attendants pulled Marinette into the store. She was stripped of her dress, and a robe normally given to people who were in for a consult or professional tailoring was given to her. Marinette stared at what was left of her dress, completely miserable. It was ruined- all of it. Completely ruined.

What a day this wedding turned out to be.

-0-

 Nathalie strode into the store wanting to rip Gabriel’s head off. Of course, he decided that Akumatizing that Lila brat would be a good idea. He didn’t even care that she would go after his own son and his future daughter-in-law!!! He could just make a perfect wedding later when he wished for his wife back!

 Nathalie was planning on a few changes to his schedule to piss him off when she froze. Marinette was sitting in a robe, hair a mess and wet, staring at the beautiful dress she had made for her wedding. And it was ruined.

 “What happened?” Nathalie asked, moving quickly to her. 

 “Lila decided to attack us again,” Marinette said in a broken tone. “This time as herself.”

 “I’m getting a restraining order and we’re pressing charges,” Adrien told Nathalie. “I’m done with her no matter what father says!”

 “I agree,” Nathalie told him and she did. Lila was a loose cannon, selfish and entitled. She never agreed to anything Gabriel planned with her. “...Wait right here- no wait. Adrien, your bodyguard is outside. Go.” Nathalie shoved him out the door. “August! Make sure he doesn’t see anything else!”

 “August?” Marinette asked.

 “I believe Adrien still calls him the Gorilla,” Nathalie said to Marinette before she turned to one of the workers. “This is the bridal store, yes?”

 “Yes, Madam Sancoeur.” Said the woman. 

 “The red dress is here?” Nathalie asked and the woman nodded slowly. “Excellent- get it.”

 “But the red dress-” the woman began but Nathalie gave her most poisonous look towards the woman.

 “The red dress is perfect.” Nathalie snarled. “You- you have excellent hair and make-up. You’re helping.” she pointed at another worker. Marinette blinked, staring at Nathalie who gave a short nod.

 “We’re about to fix this mess.” And Nathalie was going to skin Gabriel she swore.

-0-

 Gabriel sat, waiting for the wedding to start. Perhaps he shouldn’t have Akumatized that Lila girl, but it was too good of an opportunity. And it would have been nice to have more say in the wedding. Ridiculous they didn’t pay his suggestions much attention. He had no problem with the nods to Mlle. Dupain-Cheng’s heritage but the rest of it? Ridiculous. With the wish, he could have made the changes he wished and could have had Emilie with him.

 “They’re back!” some random old classmate of Adrien’s cried out. “Places!” Gabriel let out a sigh of relief as the music started- preformed by that rocker Jagged Stone and that was a good thing about this wedding, the clients his new daughter-in-law was bringing in thanks to her work. Nathalie came in from getting Adrien and his new wife to sit down next to him, looking cold. Still upset he saw. She’d get over it.

 Gabriel studied the clothing that the wedding party wore. No black, mostly red. The dresses and suits were beautiful, though he wished they hadn’t let that pink-haired girl wear a suit, and he wished instead of being in the groom’s party Mlles. Tsurugi and Bourgeois had been in the bride’s, and that blue-haired boy in the groom’s- perhaps with Felix and some model to make it even. 

 Gabriel turned to see the bride come in, eager to see her dress- he had enjoyed the sketches- only to freeze. Instead of the white, silver and gold dress, she wore a long red dress with red butterflies covering it. It had a halter neck with the halter being tied into a bow, the ends going down her bare back to her waist. She had no veil and instead wore a simple tiara with her hair up in a complicated updo.

 “That’s the dress I-” he began in a hissed tone, but Nathalie grabbed his wrist. 

 “Your little pet destroyed her dress,” his assistant snarled quietly, her voice full of venom that shocked Gabriel a little. “I had to get her a replacement, and this dress was the perfect one.” Gabriel scowled at her but had to nod. It was perfect for the girl, and fit the wedding colours. He just hated that his special design had been used without his permission.

 ...If Lila had attacked her after she was an Akuma, perhaps she was still- 

 A hand grabbed the Butterfly Miraculous from where he had it in his pocket and yanked it out. Nathalie glared at him with daggers in her eyes.

 “You can get this back after the honeymoon,” she growled at him, voice dangerous. “You’re not ruining anything else about their special day or time.” Gabriel scowled at his assistant but nodded his understanding. His gaze turned back to the wedding.

 At least it was a beautiful one.

#commission #miraculous ladybug #ml au #ml ficlet #adrinette #ladynoir

[kim-chann]

“Opportunity” [Author!Ichimatsu X CEO!Reader]

This is based on the manga from one of the official manga stories. If you haven’t read it, I highly recommend that you read it before you continue on this story: https://annetheman.tumblr.com/post/613080983449829376/bobaaddict-part-1-part-2-translation-by-me

Word Count: 15,699

Warning: Suicide Mention/Intensions!

Matsuno Ichimatsu, an author was has strived towards success, meets a woman named, (L/n) (Y/n), who is the CEO of his home city, Akatsuka. She offers an opportunity for Ichimatsu to write a story about her life, in exchange for all his coverage bills for his books and apartment rentals that will be paid by her. Not bad right? He goes his own pace to accept such an opportunity before him and agrees amongst his inner debate. He notices how optimistic and happy she seems. It sometimes makes him sick.

But was she really happy?

Ever since the striving author, known as Matsuno Ichimatsu piqued society's interest in such novelty, he has earned quite a reputation. It seemed overwhelming to the Matsu, but with Karamatsu's help, although he's annoying, he felt more than grateful that he's becoming a successful man.

As word got around that his novel series of the popular character, Princess Nyatalia, he felt pressured, but he felt good about it. He felt good about his reputation, he felt good about his salary, he felt good by his encouragement from his fans, but sometimes, it felt overwhelming.

But then, the young man was taking a break from writing after he sent out his manuscript to his editor and was letting all his cats take in all his time. That was until he heard a knock on his apartment door.

He sat up from the floor, confused and confined, not sure who would be visiting him. Surely, it couldn't be his editor. He just sent in his works. He opened the door and went eye to eye with a woman who stared into his brown eyes with curiosity. "Excuse me, are you Matsuno Ichimatsu?" She asks. He took notice that the woman was clean, fragile, and was wearing a business suit, which Ichimatsu assumed was expensive. He assumed that she was the one in charge of publishing his works.

"What do you want?" He asked, trying not to sound intimidating, but curse himself, he did. The woman smiled, "I just want to talk. I have a request if you don't mind." Ichimatsu stares at her, closing the door to unlock the door hinge before opening the door, gesturing for her to enter his apartment. The woman looked around his apartment, her smile never leaving her face. It made his heart flutter in disgust, yet comfort that she can stand trash like him.

"Take a seat wherever you'd like," He says, crouching down to his army of cats, giving them the remaining attention they deserved. The woman sat down at the couch, crossing her legs. "Are you here to tell me that the publishers won't publish my books anymore?" He asks, chuckling. Despite putting on a careless façade, he felt anxious. He came so far, why would his publishers just stop working with him? 'Oh right', he thought, 'I'm just trash. They obviously don't want to work with me.'

"Pardon?" The woman asks, her eyebrows furrowed in confusion. Now Ichimatsu stared at her with the same expression she held, "Are you, my publisher...?"

The woman laughed and shook her head. "No, no!" She says. "I'm just here giving you an opportunity."

Ichimatsu hummed in response, "What opportunity?"

The woman smiled, "I'm here to make a deal with you. I was wondering if you would like to write a story for me, and in exchange, I'll pay for your editor bills, publishing bills, and rent."

Ichimatsu went as white as a sheet. All of those offers for just one book? Now that's a great deal. Ichimatsu looked hesitant, he began to sweat from the offer that was just given to him. He wasn't sure if this was real or just a joke. He let his negative thoughts deceive him as the woman stares at him, waiting for his response.

"Well, um... Matsuno-san, what do you say?" The woman asks once again, concerned that Ichimatsu went stiff and distraught.

There was no response. 'My God, Ichimatsu, just answer her question!' He screamed in his head, 'She's giving you a huge deal, there's no way that you can just pass on this!' 'But it might be a joke! You don't even know who this woman is! She might just be one of those haters who are there to trick and murder you! But I wouldn't mind though.' The voice inside his head was screaming at him, making him look like he was immobile and lost in thought of the situation.

The woman narrowed her eyes to study his unreadable expression. She opened her mouth to say something but Ichimatsu interrupted her, "How do I know if I can trust you?" He asked, his voice a bit forceful and hesitant, debating if he should even ask that question. He ridiculed himself for speaking.

The woman gasped. 'Oh great, you offended the woman.' He shamed himself. "I'm so sorry, Matsuno-san." She apologizes, bowing towards him. "My name is (L/n) (Y/n). I'm sure that you know me, no?" She asks, winking at him.

Ichimatsu just stares at her. 'Who?'

(Y/n) blinks, "Um... you know..." She gestures her hand into a spiral, an awkward smile pursed on her lips. Ichimatsu shook his head, confused. "I'm sorry, I don't watch the news very often nor am I on the media of sorts."

'Great, now she's going to make fun of you, now that she knows that you don't watch the media,' He tells himself.

"Oh, I understand. I'm the new CEO of Akatsuka."

'WAIT, WHAT?' Ichimatsu snaps his head up towards her, eyes wide, now intimidated from her high power in social status. 'SHE'S THE CEO OF AKATSUKA?"

"I'm sorry for stumbling into your apartment without any notice, I just asked the ones who are responsible for you. I believe that his name was... Karamatsu who gave me your address."

'SCREW SHITTYMATSU!'

"I can come back if you'd like! I'm not pressuring you to make an immediate decision, okay?" She fumbled with her purse before pulling out a notepad and writing down something. She rips it out and hands it towards him. He takes it, his eyes growing wide when he notices that it's her phone number. She got up and was getting herself ready to leave. "But...why?" Ichimatsu's voice was quiet.

"Hm?" She hummed, patting her skirt, shedding some cat fur that she attracted. "Why me?" He asked more sternly. (Y/n) smiled, "Matsuno-san, I've read all your books. I'm a huge fan of your series of Princess Nyatalia. You're an amazing storyteller, and I hope you know that." She crouches down to his level and smiles at him. "I just wanted to take a chance to meet one of my favorite people who live in Akatsuka. Of course, I couldn't just walk in here and say that I'm a fan and leave. Well, I mean I can, but that would be awkward." She laughs, "So I decided to make your life easier by paying for your bills, including for your books or rent in general, in exchange for a chance for my favorite author to write a story for me."

Ichimatsu's cheeks were red, he was at loss for words. He didn't know what to say. 'The CEO of Akatsuka is a big fan of your works and wants you to write a story for her.' That thought burned into his head. He felt a sickening feeling in his stomach. He needs time to decide. "I-I'll call you when I'm ready to decide." He says, shaking a bit from the given opportunity. (Y/n) nods, "Of course, anytime. Don't pressure yourself, Matsuno-san, please take your time. There's no time limit." Those are the last words he hears from the woman before she leaves.

Now it was up for him to decide if he will see her again.

Months have passed on and Ichimatsu was screaming at himself to make a decision. Ever since (Y/n) left, he was left anticipated and at the edge of his seat. He told himself that he wanted to take this opportunity, but the other half of him argues that he's trash and doesn't deserve such a thing. He feels like he should tell someone. Maybe Karamatsu? No, he's just going to complicate things. He had no choice but to take this opportunity by himself. He knew that if he accepted it, it might change his life forever.

He sighs in frustration and lays down on his couch in distress. A few cats meow at him as a way to comfort their owner's stress. For a moment, he felt relieved to see his cats. He chuckles before gently scratching their heads, causing them to purr against him. He sighs, relaxing into their soft coats of fur before drifting off into relaxation. He can worry about this later. As the woman said, she said that there is no time limit.

The next day, Ichimatsu yells at himself to call her number from his home phone, ridiculing himself that he's just wasting time. He holds the paper that contains her number with shaky hands. He sighs, leaving the sheet of paper on his desk once again before he lays down on his couch in distress. A few cats meow at him as a way to comfort their owner's stress. For a moment, he felt relieved to see his cats. He chuckles before gently scratching their heads, causing them to purr against him. He sighs, relaxing into their soft coats of fur before drifting off into relaxation. He can worry about this later.

Wait.

He's done this multiple times.

He was just in an endless loop.

Ichimatsu immediately sits up, causing the cats that were purring against him to hop off in shock from his sudden action. He tugs on his hair, screaming at himself to pick up the damn phone and just dial the number. It can't be that hard, can it?

He gets up, walking towards his desk and takes the sheet of paper and goes back into his living room before stumbling forward towards his home phone. He halts just before he picks up the phone. He recollects himself, thinking if he should do it or not.

'Fuck it.' He says to himself, beginning to dial in the phone number. He presses the send button for the call to ring. He shuffled around, uneasy and nervous when the receiving end was ringing. It felt forever. Maybe it was just a joke after all. Maybe it was just some sick joke to make Ichimatsu all queasy and scared for nothing. Or what if (Y/n) just changed her mind? Yeah, that could be the case. He was trash anyways.

Third ring.

He felt ashamed. He got overworked for nothing, didn't he?

Fourth ring.

Heh. Of course. Why was he so dense and oblivious? Was he that desperate?

Fifth ring.

He didn't deserve help anyways.

Then, he heard a familiar voice from the other end.

"Hello? This is (L/n) (Y/n). What may I do to be at your service?"

Oh shit. She did answer.

Ichimatsu flinches and stammers to find his words, "Uh, yes. This is Matsuno Ichimatsu." He began, not knowing what to do. "I have my answer from... your-- um... opportunity."

It was silent from the other side, which caused Ichimatsu to be conflicted. There was a shuffle from the other end before a shout was announced. Ichimatsu flinched from the loudness.

"I'm so sorry, Matsuno-san. We're very busy today. It's been quite a ruckus." She stops to laugh, which peer pressures Ichimatsu to laugh as well.

"I can call back later if you're busy--"

"No! No, you're fine! Please continue."

Ichimatsu gulped, here it goes, "U-Um, I wanted to say that I'm willing to accept the opportunity that you proposed to me a few months ago," Ichimatsu pauses, fumbling over his words. He began to feel guilty, "I'm sorry for not making a decision quickly." He quickly adds.

The girl laughs, "No worries! I'm really glad that you're agreeing! We both have to sign forms by therefore the custody of your bills and publication details before we can start. We would have to meet up, is that alright?"

Geez, it sounds so complicated. Ichimatsu just hums, but then scowls at himself that she can't hear a hum. "Y-Yes."

"Wonderful! I'll give you a call around this week so we can discuss what we can do."

He mumbles a quiet bye before the call ends.

A huge weight releases him. He falls to the ground on his knees and sighs silently. It wasn't even that hard. Why was he so worked up for nothing? His cats surround him as he smiles big this time, happy that the thing that has been bothering him has been finally released.

It's almost over, isn't it?

__

Ichimatsu sighs. He didn't know what to do. Ever since he was making his final decision on (Y/n)'s opportunity, he already got his manuscript published into its final set back so it'll take a few more months. But he needed to commission an editor to make a book cover. But here's the problem: He didn't know if he should wait until (Y/n) finalized the documents so she can pay for it. Or Ichimatsu will just pay for it on his own. It seemed best for him to pay it himself, but since the offer was burning in his head, it just halted him from doing so.

He didn't know what to do but wait for (Y/n)'s call.

As if on cue, his home phone rang. He turns his head towards his phone, getting up gently and placing the cats that were on his lap to the couch. He gets up with a grunt before retrieving the phone, "Hello, This is Matsuno Ichimatsu." He says.

"Good Evening, Matsuno-san!"

Oh boy.

Ichimatsu gulps, "Good Evening..."

"I want to talk about how we're going to finalize this situation. Since we both have to sign some documents is it alright if we meet somewhere? It can be today, but we don't have to if you're busy."

"W-We can meet today." 'My god, stop stuttering!' He hissed at himself.

"Ah, ok! Would you like to meet at Sutaba (Starbucks)? Or would you prefer somewhere else?"

"Sutaba is fine."

"Great, great! I'll meet you there at 4:00, is that fine?" Ichimatsu glanced at the clock, it was 2:43, "Sure."

"Alright, see you there!"

"Bye."

Ichimatsu hung up this time. He rushes himself to take a shower and get ready. He was going to face someone who has high social status and he needs to prepare himself. He knows for a fact that he's trash, but he felt an urge to just dress up neatly today.

He resisted the urge to take a massive shit on his dining table.

__

Ichimatsu wears the blue suit that he usually wears for business. And that suit has a lot of memories of him facing rejection of a job or just in general. Yeah, he knows. He's trash.

Ichimatsu enters Sutaba and takes a seat, looking at the wall clock as it reads, '3:57.'

He didn't have much to do. He didn't have a phone to reference too. He didn't have something to keep himself busy, so he was just there. Awkward and alone.

He begins to doubt himself again, and fiddles with his fingers.

Suddenly a seat is taken in front of him, he yelps quietly when he sees (Y/n) sit down with a smile on her face. "Hello, Matsuno-san! How are you today?" She asks.

Ichimatsu begins to sweat uncomfortably, "I'm g-good."

(Y/n) smiles at him, "Wonderful! Would you like something to drink? It's my treat." She offers, getting up from her seat to order, and placing her bag and jacket on her seat to show that it was taken. Ichimatsu stammers from his seat, "You don't mind?" She shakes her head.

"Ah... well, I would like a black coffee if that's alright..."

"Of course." She says gleamingly and begins to order.

'Dumbass, why did you accept her offer? You're supposed to be a gentleman, you're the one who's supposed to be paying for her treats, not her!' He yells at himself. 'But she offered!' He tried to counter, but he realized how dumb and greedy he sounded when he tried to defend himself.

Automatically, he gets up and goes over to (Y/n). She hums in confusion, not knowing what he was doing there. "I'll pay." He says, grabbing his wallet. (Y/n) places a hand on his extended one, "There's no need!" She appeals. "No, you're already doing a great favor for me, It's only fair that I pay you back somehow." He offers the cashier the money and stares at Ichimatsu, awestruck. He was so kind. Even a few customers that were in line muttered how generous and kind he was. He felt his cheeks flutter warm.

After he pays, they take his name and walk back to the chair where they were staying. "That was really kind of you, Matsuno-san." She says. Despite her wealthy aspire, her crimson cheeks says that she really enjoyed his generous offer.

He shrugs, "It's nothing."

(Y/n) giggles a bit before pulling out a few documents from her bag. She opens the file and takes out a pen, "So, let's get to business," She starts. Ichimatsu feels a bit nervous, but he knows that since he's here; there's no turning back now.

"You don't have to worry about getting the billing documents from the apartment you're staying in. I already requested and retrieved them. I also contacted your publishers and they sent me the documents for both of our signings for it to be official. That's why I took a week before we could meet up. Sorry if I seem creepy by taking your documents without your consent." She bows.

Ichimatsu shook his head, "N-No, no. You don't need to apologize. Even if you would ask me to get the documents myself, I would take days of building up the courage to just ask my landlord." He chuckles.

(Y/n) looks a bit taken back, "Oh, I'm sorry if I made you feel pressured when I gave you this offer."

Shit, he's opening up. Why was he opening up to a stranger? God, he's so helpless. What powers did this woman have, for him to be opening up to her?

Ichimatsu shook his head once more, "No, you're fine. Don't worry about it."

(Y/n) smiled once again, "Okay, well. If you'd just revise the documents and sign them, then we'd be set. But it'd take a few days for it to be accepted, but it'll be all over soon." She giggles.

(Y/n) hands him a golden pen. Ichimatsu takes the pen with shaky hands, already feeling the slight weight. He takes off the cap and stares at the sharp edge. It was a calligraphy pen. He has never held one before. And hell, he hasn't even signed with one.

He tries to read the documents, but his mind races with other thoughts that disrupt his reading process. He was nervous. He didn't know why. So he pretends that's overlooked the documents and continues to sign them. He looks at the other documents for his rents and bills before (Y/n) stops him.

"Yes...?"

"I was just thinking," (Y/n) hesitates. Ichimatsu has never seen the confidence-goddess like-woman seem nervous before. It didn't fit her picture. "Would you like to live somewhere else?"

"What?"

"Yeah, I was wondering if I would buy you a house and your beautiful cats to live in instead of your current apartment."

Ichimatsu stares at her with wide eyes, "No." He immediately answers.

"Oh. That was a quick answer." She remarks, causing Ichimatsu to feel embarrassed.

"You're already doing a lot for me, buying a new house for trash like me is already troublesome and a waste of your time. Plus, I like my apartment."

"Matsuno-san, you're not trash. You're an amazing person. I don't understand how you can be so hard on yourself. And if you don't want to, that's fine. No pressure, okay?" (Y/n) says calmly with a soft smile.

'God, stop being so kind to me.' He pleads, already begging that this whole goddess act to be over.

"Ichimatsu?" The barista calls out. Ichimatsu whips his head back before retrieving the beverages. He comes back with his black coffee and (favorite drink). (Y/n) thanks him before taking a sip. Ichimatsu reads the documents for his apartment rent and billings. He can focus now. All he needed was coffee since he was so used to drinking lots and lots of it when he was working on his novels.

Ichimatsu signs the last documents with a relieved smile.

It was all coming together now.

__

It has been approximately a year since his third novel in the series of Princess Nyatalia was out. With (Y/n)'s payment of course. It felt almost relieving that he didn't need to pay so much anymore, but it didn't help the fact that he did indeed feel guilty. He pours food into the cat's bowl, giving (Y/n) a smile as she sits on his couch. They've been working together for (Y/n)'s requested novel.

Ichimatsu assumed that she wanted him to ghostwrite, but instead, she wanted him to write an autobiography story about her life. As she explains her past, he can't help but feel pity and guilt when she explained her history as a daughter of a terrorist and was abused in her early teenage years.

Ichimatsu became her shoulder to cry on when she was explaining what pain and suffering she had gone through. He gave her comfort, and she gave him comfort. They were always there for each other, even through the darkest times.

After a few meetups of finishing her childhood, she explains how she was a delinquent as a teenager throughout high school, earning a few laughs from (Y/n) and Ichimatsu. She even showed him a picture when she was wearing a tracksuit jacket with a scowl on her face. They laugh together, connecting each other of their own pasts. They bonded so well together.

After a few months, (Y/n) explains what it's like to be leaving a good relationship and moving to Japan to take over a family business. Ichimatsu felt bad that she didn't have a choice to choose what kind of future she had. She reassures him that she was fine now because that's a part of life. Ichimatsu questions internally how she remains so optimistic. It sometimes makes him sick.

But was she really happy?

It was another day where (Y/n) was going to come in and explain another part of the story for Ichimatsu to write. Ichimatsu has been working hard to make it satisfying and expressive to (Y/n)'s liking. Not only because she's an important person in Akatsuka, but because she was his friend.

Yes, his friend.

It sounded so foreign when he told himself that, but he feels a desperate urge that felt sickening. He didn't know what it was, did he hate her? No, that can't be it. He feels happy when he sees her, so he can't hate her. But what was he feeling? Did he like her?

A knock disrupts his thoughts as he stumbles quickly towards his front door and opens it.

"Hello, (Y/n)-chan."

Just saying her name brought him happiness.

"Good evening, Ichimatsu-kun!" She greets with a smile.

Ever since she started saying his real name, it sounded so perfect in her voice. He wanted her to say it more and more. Just (Y/n) saying his name feels like she awoke something within him.

(Y/n) enters the apartment and takes a seat on the couch. 'The one of the far-right,' he thinks, already knowing her usual spot on his couch. He sometimes avoided that spot because he felt like it belonged to (Y/n), and it didn't deserve to be tainted by trash like him. The cats are an exception though.

Ichimatsu takes out his usual notepad where he jots down notes of how her life goes on and for him to reference too when he writes the story. He smiles gently, sitting down on the chair, waiting for (Y/n) to begin where she left off from their last meeting.

"Where was I?" (Y/n) stammers. She plays with her hair strand with an awkward smile. Ichimatsu hums. That's odd. Usually, (Y/n) knows where she left off. Ichimatsu rereads what was previously spoken about, "You stopped when you were done explaining what it was like in your first few months in your work."

(Y/n) nods, "Ah, I see. Well, to continue off, I faced a lot of tribulations. At first, I was always stressed about being the CEO. I thought that I would handle it, but I couldn't. My secretary, Naomi, was always there to guide me because she used to be my father's secretary too. So I trust and depend on her when I can't." She laughs and gives a shrug.

Ichimatsu finishes taking notes and looks at (Y/n), blinking suspiciously at her. She seemed off. She was usually calm and excited to tell him what she had been through, but she was fiddly and hesitant. What was going on with her?

"Are you okay?" Ichimatsu asks, putting down his notepad next to him. "We can talk about it if you want to. We can continue doing this interview next time."

(Y/n) shakes her head, "No, no. I'm okay. We can continue this right now. Don't worry about me, Ichimatsu-kun." She reassures, putting on the same smile that Ichimatsu was used to seeing.

But he wasn't buying it. But he didn't feel like arguing with her. He never wanted to argue with her. That is the last thing that he would ever do.

"Throughout my months of working as a CEO, a few people have been attracted to me. Like my colleague, Atsushi. He's a gentleman, but he's just... not my type. Plus he's basically a playboy, heh." (Y/n) continues. "And I made a lot of friends. Yes, a CEO befriending accountants, managers, and staff. People say that people who have high social status should always stay high with friends. But I say screw that and continue to be friends with who I want." Ichimatsu grins. He loves her generosity. She always had a big heart. It made Ichimatsu crave her attention even more.

It was silent, and Ichimatsu was finishing up his notes. He waited for her to continue, but there was more silence. He looked up from his notes and his eyes widened.

(Y/n)'s eyes were filled with tears and she helplessly wiped them. She didn't sob, she didn't look sad; she just had tears fall down her cheeks rapidly.

"Hey, hey," Ichimatsu grabs a tissue from the tissue box, moves over to (Y/n)'s couch and sits down gently. He gently wipes the tears under her glistening (E/c) eyes. He loved her eyes. They were so beautiful and filled with hope. Seeing her eyes being clouded with distraught only brought him stress. He didn't want her to look like this.

He awkwardly pulls (Y/n) into an embrace, gently patting her back as she wraps her arms around Ichimatsu. She barely sobbed. Just sniffles and wet tears were present. What happened? Why was she acting like this?

(Y/n) pulled away, taking a breath before wiping her tears. "What's wrong, (Y/n)-chan?" He asks, hovering his hand over hers, squeezing gently to reassure her.

She shakes her head, "I'm sorry, I just," She hiccups. She hesitates to speak as if she was keeping something from him. "...I've just been very stressed lately. There's a lot going on, I just feel like I'm at blame, you know? Heh." She laughs dryly to herself. Ichimatsu just stares at her, his eyes wide and his mouth opens as if he was going to say something. He halts himself from speaking and lets (Y/n) have her moment. It bothered him that she was acting this way. She has never laughed so dryly before. She never told him that she was stressed at work. It seems... indifferent and out of place.

(Y/n) cleans herself up and apologizes once more, and takes a drink of water when Ichimatsu offers it.

"(Y/n)-chan," Ichimatsu takes his seat on his usual couch and stares at her seriously. "Even if you feel like you're at blame. You're not. You may be the CEO, but you're not responsible for people's mistakes. Did you make them? No. Can you control them? No. Are you at fault? No. So don't believe your emotions. Emotions suck." (Y/n) laughs at his last remark. Ichimatsu feels a tug on his lips, bringing him to a smile.

'There you go,' He thinks. 'Put on a smile for me.'

(Y/n) continues what happens with her friends and she explains their friendship and her ways of dealing with some stupid workers. But (Y/n) never calls her employees stupid, she calls them... troubled. But Ichimatsu just calls them plain stupid, which causes (Y/n) to laugh.

A few hours pass and Ichimatsu announces that he has enough to progress on the story of her autobiography. (Y/n) got up and prepared herself to leave. Ichimatsu pets his cats as he watches (Y/n) get herself ready. He escorts her out of his apartment and bids her goodbye. As she exits, she halts. "Ichimatsu?" She turns.

Ichimatsu hums, tilting his head. She stares into his eyes, her mouth agape, wordlessly preparing what she was going to say, but her mouth shuts into a small line. She stopped herself. But why?

It seems like something was controlling her or telling her not to tell him something.

"It's nothing." She concludes, quickly walking down the steps, leaving a confused Ichimatsu.

She's been acting weird all day. What's gotten into her?

__

Ichimatsu stirs awake, a cat licking his nose causing him to let out a quiet laugh. He sits up from his bed, glancing at the time before he grunts to go back to bed. It was in the middle of the night. He begins to relax and drift off back to sleep, but his cat wacks him in the face, causing him to jolt awake. He glared lightly at the cat who hit him but immediately stopped when he saw it's adorable face.

"What is it?" He asks the cat. The cat meows and sits at the edge of his bed, giving him a stare. Ichimatsu gets up from his bed, yawning. The cat jumps down the bed and purrs as if it were asking him to follow him.

Ichimatsu grunts when he gets up to follow his beloved cat. He sees that most of his cats are asleep. He smiles when he sees how healthy and peaceful they look. The cat meows once again, gaining his attention again. Ichimatsu follows the cat that leads him to his workplace; his office.

The cat jumps on his desk, pawing at his work. "Oy, don't touch that." He says sternly, walking forward towards the cat who was sitting on his desk. Ichimatsu looks down at his desk, seeing that his cat was pawing at something. He glances down, confused.

The cat meows, it's pink-wet nose ushered it towards him like a dog. He reads what was on his notepad,

'(Y/n)'s getting a bit upset more and more every time she comes here, is it because of me?'

Ichimatsu hums, a bit disappointed and saddened by the fact of how upset she was growing. He felt like a stalker almost. He doesn't know why he feels the need to jot down how (Y/n) feels when she sees him. Is... is he growing obsessed?

The cat meows, getting his attention once more, causing Ichimatsu to read more into his notes.

'She cried into my arms. I held her tight and she held onto me. I hope that she holds me more in the future. I just feel an urge to just bring her closer to me.'

Ichimatsu back reads from his previous notes that he took a few weeks ago from their previous meetings.

She always puts on this smile, it makes me sick.

He shakes his head. He can't say that. He's grown to it. He's grown to love it. He's grown to accept who she is. He rolls his eyes, angry at himself that he'd say such a thing.

He looks at his work, pre-reading each paragraph as he reads what he has written for (Y/n)'s autobiography. He sighs, satisfied with his work. He continues to flip through his work notes of (Y/n)'s emotions, smiling more and more as he sees their relationship developing.

Looking back to when they first met, he feels embarrassed to be treating (Y/n) with no gentleness at all. Why was she so patient with garbage like him? He was trash, disgusting, and has no reason to live. So why did someone like her come into her life and change that?

Change that?

He's grown to smile.

He's grown to open up.

He's grown to love her smile.

He's grown to love her eyes twinkle when she was sharing her story.

He's grown to love it when she says his name.

He's grown to love it when she comes into his apartment.

He's grown to love it when she brushes her hand through his hair.

Oh.

Oh.

His cat meows as if it were giving him a wink.

He does, doesn't he?

__

Ichimatsu sits on his couch, anxious. He's grown to realize his feelings, and he doesn't like it when he has to bury it deep inside when he sees her around.

Today was one of those days where (Y/n) would come around and tell him what else is going on in her story. He rereads all of his words onto the paper, making sure that they're perfect.

After a few hours, he hears a knock on his door. He smiles and makes his way towards his door and opens it. "Good evening, (Y/n)-chan." He greets, nodding at her.

(Y/n) smiles weakly at him, "Good evening to you too, Ichimatsu." She enters his house and sits down at her usual spot. 'She didn't add 'kun.'' He remarks. Ichimatsu takes note that she seems weak and tired today.

"You okay? You seem more tired than usual." Ichimatsu blurs out. (Y/n) snorts and smiles, "You're right... I do seem more tired than usual. I'm sorry..." She says, staring into her lap. Ichimatsu comes back into his living room with (favorite drink), her favorite. Ichimatsu hands the mug over to her and she smiles when she smells the fragrance.

Ichimatsu smiles to himself, happy that he was able to make her smile. He sits down with the same notepad that he used to jot down notes. (Y/n) smiles when he returns and sits down in front of her, which causes his heart to flutter. Was she happy to see him? No, it can't be.

(Y/n) begins where she left off. This time, she doesn't ask. She explains how she continues to face the challenges of being the CEO and the troubles that she faced. She explains how some of her friends go to the bar to burn off some stress, embarking embarrassing memories. (Y/n) laughs at some parts when she remembers how everything was laid out, causing Ichimatsu to smile as he writes.

He loves that laugh.

"And that's it, basically..."

"Hm?"

"That's it."

"Oh," Ichimatsu blinks, "Sorry, usually you tell so much more..." Ichimatsu brushes his index finger against his cheek and turns away.

(Y/n) laughs quietly. "That's going to be the end of the story." She says, finishing up her tea.

Ichimatsu feels disappointment bury in his chest. Unknowingly frowning and letting out a sigh. Did it have to end? Will he not see her again?

"What do you mean?"

"Hm?"

"You said 'that's the end of the story'. What do you mean by that?"

(Y/n) turns away, shrugging, "There's nothing else left to tell..."

Ichimatsu opens his mouth to say something but shuts it tight. Something was wrong wasn't it? It must be her work. Of course, it was. She's the CEO of Akatsuka and she's facing the dilemmas of multiple companies, of course she's bothered. But was Ichimatsu one of the causes? They do meet up for him to collect information for him to write... but he can't help but feel horrible, knowing that he's stripping (Y/n) away from her rest.

He doesn't want to overwhelm her at all.

(Y/n) walks over to him, causing him to arch a brow, confused. "I'm so thankful that you're doing this for me. I honestly would never have the courage to write it myself, nor the creativity." She laughs, sitting down next to him. Ichimatsu flinches, shuffling back a bit to give her some space, and because he needed his personal space too.

(Y/n) smiles, her eyes were gentle and soft. Ichimatsu can get lost in that look. She looked so beautiful. Ichimatsu shakes his head, "No, no. I'm sure that your writing would be better than mine anyway. I'm garbage." (Y/n) glares at him playfully before shaking her head. "Unbelievable," She rolls her eyes. "You're the author here, I'm just some dumb CEO."

Now it was Ichimatsu's turn to glare at (Y/n). He shakes his head, "No, no," He appeals, shaking his hand along with his head like he was swapping some flies out of the way. "Don't say that about yourself." He says, his cheeks flushing with embarrassment.

(Y/n) laughs before pecking his cheek. His face goes red as he sits there immobile, "I have to go now. Call me anytime! Good luck writing!"

She leaves his apartment, closing the door gently. Ichimatsu stays there, his face sweating as his cheeks hollow with embarrassment.

Holy shit.

Did she?

Yes, she did.

The cat's meow and their tails swish with proudness.

They knew that it was coming.

__

It was finished.

It was done!

Ichimatsu smiles stupidly to himself before he meets up with his editor and submits the manuscript before publishing. He arrives home with a sigh.

It was done...

His smile vanished from his face. What was he going to do now? Was he still able to see (Y/n)? Was he still able to call her? Contact her?

He felt like he had reached the ultimatum. He has worked hard for it, now he's done.

He began to play with his cats, he needed to give them the attention they deserved when he was working on his novel. They deserved it. And he deserved it too.

__

A sudden call disrupts him and his afternoon slumber. He stirs awake, moving a few cats away gently as he groans, making his way to the kitchen and to the phone. He answers the phone, "Hello, this is Matsuno Ichimatsu."

"Hello, Ichimatsu-kun! Do you want to come over to my house today? Or just hang out in particular?" (Y/n)'s voice jolted energy inside Ichimatsu, causing him to be wide awake.

"Ah, (Y/n)-chan." He announces, his voice full of surprise. "Um... I can just come over to your house today... what's your address?" He asks, him fiddling with himself, feeling uncomfortable from just standing. It sounded a bit weird to be asking someone what was their address. (Y/n) begins to tell him her address and he writes it down in a sticky note and humming in response. "I'll be there as soon as I can." He says. The call ends and Ichimatsu celebrates internally. He's happy that she's inviting him to her house.

Maybe he doesn't need to worry after all.

He gets ready, not sure what outfit to wear to go to (Y/n)'s house. He decides to wear casual clothes with his purple hoodie and blue sweatpants. Why not? At least he was comfortable. He brushes a hand through his hair; an attempt to brush it. He stares at himself in the mirror, insulting himself before leaving. He bids all his cats a goodbye before he leaves to go to (Y/n)'s house. He called a taxi that was coming through and gave the driver the address.

It takes a few minutes for him to arrive at (Y/n)'s house and his breath hitches when he sees that she lives in a huge house. He was not surprised, but the thing that surprised him is the fact that he was invited. He pays the driver and exits the car. He presses on the doorbell, his feet shuffling around in the smooth tiles, nervous and uncomfortable. It made him remember when (Y/n) first called him and he was all nervous and insecure. There was a beep before the door opened. He takes a moment before entering. There was a field of grass that glowed green with pride and bliss. He takes a long whiff, his body relaxing. The smell of wet grass and the warm temperature erupted a warm feeling of calmness in his chest. (It's kind of like Parasite, the rich people's house lol). He stops when he sees an older smile down at him. He halts.

Did he get the right house?

"Hello, you must be Matsuno-san." She greets, bowing to show respect. Oh. Then I guess he got the right house? Ichimatsu nods before he continues to walk down the pavement. He loved the modern antique. The woman lets Ichimatsu enter the house. He takes notice of how the woman was dressed up so formally. He begins to feel insecure and doubtful. Did he dress too casual? Should he have dressed a bit more fancier?

When he enters, he removes his slippers and the older woman gestures to him to use one of their house slippers. He slips a pair on, a smile slowly tugging on his lips from how comfortable it felt. He assumes that the woman is (Y/n)'s housekeeper. 'How keen.' Ichimatsu thinks.

"Ichimatsu-kun." Calls (Y/n). She rushes down the stairs to greet him, "It's wonderful to see you!" He smiled at her, "Hello, (Y/n)-chan." He nods at her, stuffing his hands into his pockets.

"Do you want to take a walk around my garden?" She asks. Ichimatsu blushes from her excited expression that he was there. It was adorable. Ichimatsu smiles, "Sure, if you want to."

(Y/n) pulls him gently, yet excitingly into her garden. As she opens the door, Ichimatu's breath hitches. It was beautiful. It looked so peaceful, beautiful, and lively. He could live there if he wanted to, but he couldn't anyways.

They enter the garden and replace their home slippers with soft slip-on shoes. They giggle with each other, as they walk together onto the bridge. The garden had bridges of creamy white and had a modern essence to it. (Just like Amanda's garden from Detroit: Become Human). Ichimatsu smiles, one hand being pulled by (Y/n)'s soft hands and his other in his pocket. A flustered blush was dusted on his cheeks and he closed his eyes, savoring the moment. (Y/n) lets of his hand, making Ichimatsu feel cold and a bit empty.

As they make it to the end of the bridge, Ichimatsu smiles gently at (Y/n), "(Y/n)-chan," He calls, his voice soft and volume low. But it was enough for (Y/n) to hear, "Yes, Ichimatsu-kun?"

"Why did you call me here?" He asks. 'Why am I so nosy? Just shut your mouth!' He yells at himself. He feels his body heat escape rapidly from the sudden aggravation of nervousness.

(Y/n) slightly clunches her fist and blushes, looking away, "I can't stop thinking about you." They both blush at her words. "N-Not in a weird way! Of course." She tries to save herself by laughing awkwardly in the situation. Ichimatsu snorts, his cheeks dusted a crimson red. He has been hiding all of his confidence from the fact that she was an eminent person, but since he knew that they're closer; he can't help but feel more confident with her. She awoke something within him, and how he's about to show what was behind that mask. (Y/n) always seemed to be in control of everything, she knew how to rule, take control. Now it was Ichimatsu's time to shine that he was just like that. He wanted to see (Y/n)'s face of embarrassment and shyness. Oh, how he loved her flustered look. He wanted more of it.

"Are you sure?" Ichimatsu asks, nudging her a bit. (Y/n) laughs, "Yes, yes. I'm sure."

Ichimatsu felt a wave of confidence seeing (Y/n) so flustered and vulnerable. He lightly blushes, turning away a bit and brushes his hand against (Y/n)'s, giving her a direct message. She flinches from the contact but smiles smugly and intertwines their fingers together. He notices how their hands fit together perfectly. Like a puzzle piece finally finding it's missing part.

They continue to walk in the garden, now walking in the wet grass. It was a comfortable silence; with the tree branches swaying diligently, the flowers blooming at its fullest, the birds singing elegantly; it was amazing. Ichimatsu slightly tightened his grip, savoring such a moment and closing his eyes. It felt so good. He has never felt something like this in his life. He felt at peace. He has never felt happier in his life.

Ichimatsu snaps out of his trance when he feels (Y/n) hooking her arm around his arm where they held hands, pulling them both closer than before. She leans her head on his shoulder. Ichimatsu dares himself to look at (Y/n), his blush faintly increases. (Y/n)'s eyes were closed; she looked at peace, pure, elegant... beautiful.

He loved this woman.

He loved her so much.

Ichimatsu tilts his head towards (Y/n)'s direction, his cheek nuzzling into her (H/c) locks. He smiles, loving the smell of her shampoo and conditioner. He loved it. He loved everything about her.

A few minutes of resting on each other, (Y/n) makes a movement, pressuring Ichimatsu to stop tilting his head and she removes herself from his shoulder. He felt lost and empty without her at his side. But the hand holding gave him comfort. "What's wrong--"

"Ichimatsu-kun." She interrupts him. She sounded serious.

Is she...?

"I've been wanting to say this to you for a long time."

Is she going to...?

"You've shown me what love can feel like." She snorts, rolling her eyes weakly. It was not mockingly, it was informative and peaceful, doing no harm.

Oh, she wasn't.

Ichimatsu felt discontented, having his hopes too high that she was going to confess. But, he made her feel what love felt like? Pfft. Surely, she was joking, right? There's no way that trash can show a goddess love.

Ichimatsu shakes his head, he opens his mouth to protest but a finger shushes him from speaking. "Don't you dare say that you're trash. I hate it when you say that." She glares lightly at him. She boops his nose, showing that she meant no harm to her words.

Though, he can't help but feel guilty that he kept doing something that she hated. He remains silent, waiting for her to continue her lecture.

"Remember that I used to be in a relationship right before I came to Japan?" She starts, sighing. Ichimatsu nods. His chest tightens a bit, hearing her mention her ex. "Well, I wasn't ready to fall in love with anyone. I was still hurting when I left. It's been years, and I haven't felt such feelings in forever," She glances up to look at him in the eyes, "What I'm saying is that you make me feel loved, Ichimatsu."

Ichimatsu smiles lightly, opening up his arms a bit, signaling her for a hug. She grins before hugging him tightly. She giggles, "You're so cute, I hope you know that." Ichimatsu rolls his eyes, "Don't flatter yourself, I'm garbage-- ouch!" He exclaims when (Y/n) pinches his back. She gasps, "Whoops! I hope I didn't pinch too hard-- I..um," She clears her throat, pulling away from the hug and narrows her eyebrows and her arms grip his shoulders, "Yeah, you deserve that for calling yourself lies!" She stops herself from showing her easy side and tries to show a dominant demeanor. How cute~

He laughs and arches a brow when (Y/n) tries to scare him. He can't help but love her embrace and attention she gives him. She was too cute. Ichimatsu leans in and brushes his nose against hers, their foreheads touching. Ichimatsu can see how flustered she looks, and he can tell that she's holding a chastened face. She closes her eyes and puckers her lips a bit.

Ichimatsu resists the urge to lean in and close the distance, but he doesn't.

"You're the cute one here, (Y/n)-chan." He says, distancing themselves away. He pulls away from her grip and walks to a bench, leaving (Y/n) flushed and shocked. She really was naive that he was going to kiss her, wasn't she? How needy~

Ichimatsu laughs to himself when he turns his head to see (Y/n) so flustered and red. Comparing her from her confident façade, she shows a now shy and timid girl. It caused a pleasurable shiver down his spine.

He wanted more.

Ichimatsu smiles when (Y/n) stops him and complains that he can't tease her like that, causing him to laugh at her. She hits his chest lightly calling him mean. He stops her upcoming fists and pulls her into an embrace, then apologizing. She giggles in his ear. He holds a smug grin before placing a sloppy kiss on her cheek, making her flustered.

He pulls away and runs away, causing those helpless lovebirds to chase each other in the grass field, causing the garden to be filled with laughter and euphoria. The housekeeper smiles as she watches them from the second-floor window from (Y/n)'s room. She smiles wide, glad that her master, (Y/n), was able to have a smile on her face.

__

"I'm sorry, Fukumi." (Y/n) apologizes, bowing. Ichimatsu follows through apologizing as well. The housekeeper, Fukumi, shakes her head and sighs. "Don't worry about it, I'll clean up the mess while you clean yourselves up, okay?" She says, a hand on her hip.

(Y/n) tugs on Ichimatsu's sleeve, leading them into a bathroom. Ichimatu's cheeks go red.

Were they going to take a bath together?

God, he wanted to be with her, but this was just too quick!

"You change and shower here, okay? I'll tell Fukumi to wash your clothes and give you some spare ones, okay?" (Y/n) says. Ichimatsu lets out a sigh that he didn't know he was holding. He hums, nodding.

(Y/n) smiles and leaves him in the bathroom. Both Ichimatsu and (Y/n) got a little dirty when they were teasing and chasing each other. Causing mud, dirt, and grass to be drizzled onto their clothes. And when they came inside, they made quite a mess from their dirty tracks.

Ichimatsu begins to start the shower and relax from the touch of luke-warm water onto his skin. It felt more relaxing than usual. He loved this feeling.

After he takes his time on washing all the dirt from his body, he exits the shower and wraps a towel around his waist. He uses another towel to dry off his hair. He looks around and sees his dirty clothing. He remembers that (Y/n) said that her housekeeper will give him so clean clothes and wash his dirty ones. So, he waits a bit, thinking that Fukumi will knock on his door soon.

He waits and waits.

He feels a bit pressured. 'What am I supposed to do?' He fidgets closer to the door and unlocks it. He opens it slightly. He looks around, looking for any source that he can get help.

"Um, excuse me?" He calls out into the hallways. There was no response. He felt embarrassed. He clears his throat and calls again, this time, he gets a response.

"Oh, I am so sorry." He turns his head and sees (Y/n)'s housekeeper offers him a basket with clean clothes. He takes the basket. "No, don't worry about it." He says, putting the clean clothes inside and exchanges it for his dirty ones.

Fukumi smiles, "You're a good guy, Matsuno-san."

"Hm?" Ichimatsu hums, confused.

"I've never seen (L/n)-sama so happy before. I just want to say thank you." She smiles at him. Ichimatsu hums, trying to stop himself from smiling.

He just nods, soon closing his door. He begins to change, the thought of him making (Y/n) so happy makes him happy. He was making someone feel loved and content. He was never really the guy to be feeling such things, but it felt good.

__

As dinner calls, Ichimatsu eats slowly, trying not to show that he was a slob in front of (Y/n) and her housekeeper. The food was amazing, he never ate something great in such a long time.

(Y/n) eats carefully. It was like she was trying to restrain herself from eating fast just how Ichimatsu feels. She finishes her food, and sighs, "Thank you, Fukumi-san. Your meals are always the best." She grins. Fukumi smiles and nods, "Of course."

Ichimatsu finishes soon afterward and thanks Fukumi as well, feeling peer pressure to show such manners in (Y/n)'s household.

"(Y/n)-chan," Ichimatsu calls, gaining her attention. "The book should be finished publishing in a couple of weeks before it'll be shown in the public." He tries to start up a conversation for once because he feels bad that (Y/n) always starts it for him. (Y/n) flinches, but her smile widens, but it seems a bit forced and fake.

"Really? That's great!" Her cheeks flutter a crimson shade as Ichimatsu smiles with her. "I can't wait to read it, I'm sure it won't disappoint." She winks at him.

Ichimatsu began to feel a sickening feeling in his stomach; he was nervous. (Y/n) has high hopes that his novel was going to be good. But he can't help but feel pressured and think that his writing sucks. Of course, his literary style was horrible.

Wait, he shouldn't say that. (Y/n) would kill him.

Ichimatsu just smiles at her optimism, showing that he was nervous that he was going to disappoint her.

As the night rolled around, Ichimatsu tried to convince (Y/n) to leave to go to his apartment. But she insisted that he say for the night because it was dangerous for him to be going out in such a late hour.

"Do you want to take the guest room?" (Y/n) asks, stopping in front of a room. Ichimatsu infers that it's one of the guest rooms. "Sure. Where else would I stay anyways?" He shrugs. (Y/n) looks away blushing a bit.

Ichimatsu notices her flushed cheeks and smirks, "What? Did you want me to sleep with you?" He asks. (Y/n)'s face grows redder. "I-I... um..."

Well, she didn't deny it.

"I don't have to if you don't want me to. I mean, I'm trash any--" He stops himself before finishing his sentence. (Y/n) glares and smirks at Ichimatsu, knowing that he can't say such things around her. He likes yet hates it that she had control over him. "I want to," She grabs his hand. "But do you want to?"

Ichimatsu blushes and just nods, his free hand brushing against his cheek in embarrassment. (Y/n) giggles, before gently pulling him, "Gosh, you're so cute, Ichimatsu-kun." She squeals, a blush on his cheeks. Ichimatsu rolls his eyes, not bothering to appeal. He usually doesn't get affected by compliments, but when (Y/n) says them, it hits differently.

(Y/n) leads him to her bedroom and opens the door. Ichimatsu examines and see's how big and roomy it is. There are some paintings around her room and photo frames. The one that stands out to him the most is a painted portrait of her. Just her. No father. No mother. No siblings. Just her. Ichimatsu recalls what happened in her past and feels guilt bury his chest. He felt horrible, knowing the saddening truth. She looked beautiful in the painting though. He stops staring and makes his way over to the bed, a bit embarrassed that he's going to sleep with a girl next to him.

They both settle in the bed, the only source of light was the windows outside that was reflecting their body in the blankets. The fluffy pillow and blankets felt like pure bliss to him. It was such a comfortable bed. Ichimatsu turns his head, his eyes adjusting as he sees (Y/n) stare at the ceiling with a smile on her face. "What's wrong? Why are you just smiling, you dummy?" He asks, turning his body over, a smile on his face. (Y/n) smiles at him, "Sorry, It's just..." She pauses to think. Ichimatsu's smile falls into a straight line. He remembers she made the same expression when she left his apartment when she wanted to tell him something, but didn't.

"I'm just happy that you're here with me."

(Y/n) turns her body to face Ichimatsu as well, his smile returns to his face. It was silent between them. Ichimatsu felt his body relax and was beginning to fall asleep but then he snapped awake and gasped when (Y/n) buried her face into his chest and wrapped her arms around him.

"Hey, hey," He mutters, using his usual technique to calm (Y/n) down, "What's wrong?"

(Y/n) just shakes her head in his chest. He feels his heart hammer against his chest, feeling utter embarrassment that someone he loves is closing in contact with him.

"Nothing, I just... felt the sudden urge to hold you tight." She says, removing herself from his chest a bit for him to hear what she was saying. He smiles, and hesitantly and awkwardly hugs her back; one around her waist, and one in her hair. Ichimatsu rubs his hand against her soft hair, feeling calm and relaxed in the embrace of (Y/n).

"Please don't let go." She says out of nowhere. She sounded desperate, scared, and sad. He hated it. Even though he would usually get a hard-on when she was vulnerable, but not like this. Ichimatsu pulls her head closer to him as he kisses her forehead. "I would never." He mutters. (Y/n)'s grip tightens a bit, it wasn't uncomfortable. He could tell that she was afraid and desperate. But he didn't know why.

They both stay in that position for a few minutes. Ichimatsu waits for (Y/n) to fall asleep, making sure that she's alright and calmed down. Once he hears slight and gentle snores from her, he checks that she's asleep, before he rests his head on top of her hers and drifts into a deep slumber.

__

It's been a few weeks ever since Ichimatsu has spent the night with (Y/n). They continued to hang out and tease each other, but they never really established a relationship at all. That was what bothered him. He felt like they were in a relationship, but it was never established. It felt odd and painful to his gut; an empty feeling that he craves to be filled to be satisfied.

He felt like they were doing just fine until she became more distant towards him once more. She's been avoiding him more often as the publication date for his book was growing closer. Was she nervous for it to come out? Did she feel embarrassed that she made him write such a thing? Why was she pushing him away? Weren't they doing just fine? Did he do something wrong?

(Y/n) was slowly growing more saddened, each and every time they hung out.

Why didn't he say something sooner?

Ichimatsu felt a bit angry that she was not telling him what was bothering her. They've known each other for almost two years, and they were close. Weren't they? She's been dealing with this for a while now, ever since he was in progress of the novel that happened almost half a year ago. He wanted to know what was bothering her so that he can help her through it.

That's what friends are for, right?

After days that turned into weeks of being ghosted, he decided that he had enough. He was patient and calmed his anxiety that she was just busy or just needed time to herself. But it's been so long. He couldn't wait anymore.

Today, he built up his courage to try and talk to (Y/n) about it. He called her and requested that they meet up at a cafe to grab a bite and talk. Ichimatsu could tell that (Y/n) was a bit hesitant to come over but agreed. Ichimatsu dressed in his normal sweater with 'DAT' and sweatpants, not caring what he was going to wear. He bid his beloved cats goodbye and began to leave to the cafe that he asked for them to meet up. It was a drink bar, mostly just for communication and small hangouts. When he entered the facility, he already spotted the familiar girl that sat anxiously in a booth. Just seeing her made it feel like he hasn't seen her in months. Maybe even years. He was so used to hanging out every day that seeing her after two weeks of nothingness felt like they've been apart for years and finally reuniting. When they made eye contact, (Y/n) smiled at him, causing his heart to flutter a bit. He feels his love-struck heart slowly pivot into a guilty and saddened feeling.

He was growing anxious.

He sat down and avoided eye contact a bit, nervous to confront (Y/n) on such matters. Yes, he cares if someone was emotionally bothered, but he only helped when they called for it. This is his first time trying to ask someone if they were secretly crying for help.

"...You okay, Ichimatsu-kun?" She asks, noticing that he was silent.

Ichimatsu just hums, "Why have you been avoiding me, (Y/n)-chan?" He asks quietly.

(Y/n) remains silent. He wasn't sure if she heard him, but he didn't have the courage to repeat himself for asking such a daring question.

"...I'm sorry." She apologizes, shaking her head. It sounded more or a statement than an empathetic apology. "I've just been... busy, that's all."

Bullshit.

"Why are you lying to me?" Ichimatsu says boldly. He felt anger slowly build up inside of him. He was always so patient with (Y/n), feeling this emotion was horribly wrong. But his patience was running short, and he was tired of letting things go right before him like nothing.

(Y/n) blinks, a bit shocked. She has never heard him speak so boldly, nor seriously. She assumed that Ichimatsu would drop the subject here and there, but he seemed persistent. (Y/n) began to feel anxious. "What are you talking about...?"

Ichimatsu shakes his head, "I may be unburnable trash that has no will to live, but that doesn't mean that I'm stupid, (Y/n)." He never called her without formality. It sounded hostile, a curse word that came out of his mouth. It almost sounded like a threat.

"Ichimatsu-kun, what's wrong...?" She asks, trying her best to change the subject. He can see that he was scaring her.

He should stop.

"Tch." He hisses at her, "You're not telling me something. You've been hiding something from me for months. At first, I thought you were getting better, but now you're just hurting again, aren't you?" Ichimatsu pauses to resist speaking his anger out, "I've been patient with you, (Y/n). I want to know what's wrong so that I can help you."

(Y/n)'s eyes went wide and remained silent. He thought was getting through to her but when he sees her eyes shine with confusion, he knew that she was trying to drop the subject, "I don't know what you're talking about--"

"STOP ACTING LIKE YOU DON'T KNOW AND TELL ME WHAT'S WRONG!" He interrupts her, yelling at her face. The whole drink bar goes silent.

He...

He yelled at her.

Ichimatsu halts, noticing that he attracted all the attention towards him, he shivers anxiously at the attention he was receiving from strangers, knowing that it wasn't good impressions.

"Ichimatsu..."

He doesn't dare to see (Y/n)'s expression. He hurt himself, be can't bare another hit.

He glares at (Y/n), "Tch, forget it. You're not going to tell me, that's fine." He leaves quickly and walks away, feeling the piercing stares that are prickling onto his back.

When he walks far away, he stops. His heart hammers in his chest, his chest tightens as guilt engulfs his being. He swiftly turns to enter an alleyway. He crouches against the building walls before sliding down. He did hurt (Y/n), didn't he? He didn't mean to. He didn't mean to yell.

Fuck.

He was trash and stupid.

Why did he do that?

And he just left her alone.

His breaths become heavy, as he shakes from distraught.

Whoever was hurting (Y/n) or emotionally hurting her, he was no different, wasn't he? Maybe it was all him that she was growing distant.

Was it all in his head? Was everything normal, and he was just overseeing things? Yes, that must be it. Now, he just affected his relationship with (Y/n).

He feels something warm trickle down his cheeks. He brushes his hand through it, cursing at himself. He was crying. How pathetic.

'This is all my fault, isn't it?' He repeatedly tells himself.

Over and over again.

Sobs and whimpers of despair echo in the alleyway.

This was all his fault.

"Ichimatsu!" (Y/n)'s voice echoes.

Ichimatsu wipes his tears frantically, fearing that she finds him so vulnerable and little.

(Y/n) looks into the alleyway and finds Ichimatsu hugging himself. He knew that she was there. He tried to get up and flee, but (Y/n) grabs his wrist, resisting him from leaving.

"Ichimatsu..." She repeats. This time, her voice was small and quiet.

Just hearing her voice brought back the fury he had in his chest but held it back. He didn't want her to see him like this. "What's gotten into you?" She asks, fear and concern lacing on her words.

He fucking hated it.

She had no right to be worried for him at the moment when he's the one who's concerned for her.

That triggered it. He tried to hard to stop the urge to snap, but those fucking words ignited that flame that was burning in his chest.

He whips around, tearing out of her gentle grip, glaring into her eyes. (Y/n) gasps and steps back, seeing his rage-filled eyes and cheeks stained with tears. "What's gotten into me?! What's gotten into you?!"

(Y/n) takes a step back, she opens her mouth to say something, but she was at loss for words. She didn't know what to say.

"Why did you shut me out all of a sudden?" He persists, questions flying here and there.

(Y/n) remains silent.

"I thought we were just doing fine! I must have done something wrong, didn't I? I--"

"It's not about you, Ichimatsu!" She interrupts.

"Then what? Huh?"

(Y/n) shakes her head, "Nothing."

Ichimatsu lets out a dry laugh, no humor lacing on it, "Oh 'nothing'? Well, it's clearly something for you to be ignoring me for the past two weeks!"

"You don't control me, Ichimatsu!"

He clicks his tongue, "What happened to 'us?'" Ichimatsu snaps, "I thought we were--"

"There was never an 'us!'" She yells at him, interrupting him.

He breathes heavily seeing that the eyes that he loved so much were filled with the same rage he felt.

"What--"

"We were never together! I," She pauses to calm herself, "I don't know what you were thinking, but I'm sorry I gave you the wrong impression."

Ichimatsu immediately stops talking.

"I-I want to! But I," She pulls on her dark-brown locks, "I just can't! I can't afford to!"

Can't afford to?

"What do you mean?"

(Y/n)'s eyes went wide, "It's nothing. Just drop it--"

"(Y/n), you've shut me out for weeks and stopped being the girl that I know.... This isn't you.."

"You don't know me!" She yells.

He seemed to have pressed on a nerve.

"You don't know me at all, Matsuno Ichimatsu! We're just friends and--"

"We're not just friends, and you fucking know it!"

(Y/n) flinches at his loud voice. He was growing angrier by the second this argument was settling.

"Just stop! This is hopeless!"

"Why are you being so difficult?!"

"Just drop it, okay? I'm sorry! But I can't Ichimatsu! Even if I wanted to!"

"Why not?!"

"Because," She stops herself, "Because I don't want to hurt you..."

What?

Ichimatsu stares at her, "What are you talking about?"

She shakes her head and backs up. He sees tears swell up in her eyes. Before he can say anything else she runs away, tears running down her cheeks.

She was hiding something, she was so close to admitting it.

He did something that he wanted to do last: Argue with (Y/n). Now he's broken. He's broken it. How could he?

He's just trash that doesn't deserve such happiness. Everything that brings him towards happiness gets ruined. He gets so worked up and worried that the things that brought him happiness might be tainted by the ruthless people in this world. He tried to protect them, but he realizes that he was the one that was tainting them the whole time.

Everything he grasps soon rots before him.

And it was all his fault.

__

Next week.

Next week, his autobiography story of (Y/n) was going to be published. He saw advertisements everywhere, even at Osokawa Bookstore where Karamatsu worked. He felt pain pinch his heart when he remembers what he had done to affect his relationship with (Y/n).

She never called, never came to visit.

Of course, why would she anyway?

He grips on his grocery bags tightly, his nails digging into his skin that causes indents as he passes the store to go to his apartment.

Soon enough, he fiddles with his keys before unlocking the door to his apartment. He smiles when he sees all his cats. For a moment, he felt his worry wash away when a few of them started to purr against his leg. Ichimatsu closes the door and locks it.

His brief moment of being relieved, it was soon replaced with sorrow once again when he saw the first copy of his book: " The Angel of Illusions " and under that, it said, " An autobiography of (L/n) (Y/n)."

He didn't bother to read it. I mean, he was the one who wrote it, it seemed troublesome to reread what garbage he wrote. He can't say that... this is a story about (Y/n). And she wasn't garbage at all.

He sighs silently and opens the front page. Every book that is newly published will always be a hardcover. He sees all the publications and copyrighted pages and keeps on turning them before he sees the dedication page.

To (L/n) (Y/n) (Obviously)

He chuckles at himself, laughing at his own stupid joke. He takes out a pen and signs it. It was his first copy and he wanted (Y/n) to have it.

Not having the courage to deliver it to her house, he puts it in a box and decides to ship it to her instead. Call him what you want. A looser, weak, stupid. He was a coward, he knows.

He sighs when he delivers the box into the post office, he sits down on his couch, sitting down on the far left side. He knows that (Y/n) may not ever return to his apartment, but he can't help but cherish her usual spot on his couch. It was the only thing that he had that remained a sanctuary that she trusted him to stay in his shitty apartment.

He lays down on the couch, letting out a grunt as he shifts around to be more comfortable. He smiles when he sees that his cats are jumping on him and cuddling close to his touch. He pets as many cats as he can, trying to distract himself from his sorrow. He begins to relax and grow tired. He remembers this similar scenario when he was trying to make a decision before accepting the opportunity. Maybe he shouldn't have accepted it. And he was right, it did change his life. And it was all his fault, not hers.

__

It's been a few days ever since he mailed out the first copy of the autobiography to (Y/n). He was eating some Chinese food for dinner, sighing from the lack of action in his life. He missed (Y/n)'s affection. He shakes his head when he thinks of (Y/n). He suddenly loses his appetite. He throws the rest away and puts his leftovers in the fridge. Maybe he can watch a movie or begin a new idea for a new novel soon.

RING!

He halts before he leaves his kitchen. His home phone was ringing.

Who could it be?

He stands in front of the phone for a few moments, hesitating to answer the call. He fights with himself before he answers the phone, "Hello... This is Matsuno Ichimatsu."

"Hi, Ichimatsu..."

He wasn't surprised but extremely disappointed that (Y/n) was calling him. She had better things to do as a CEO, not hang around garbage that made her feel like it too.

The thing that bothered him is that her voice sounded weak and tired.

"...Hi."

"I just got your copy of the book you sent me, I just wanted to let you know." She laughs dryly.

Ichimatsu can feel his fragile heart feel pressure when he hears her voice. "That's good."

It was silent between them.

"Um, did you read the novel yourself?"

'What a dumb question,' Ichimatsu says to himself.

"No."

"Oh, ok," She sounded disappointed, desperate even. There was a slight shuffle from (Y/n)'s end, "I'm going to start reading it. Thank you once again, Ichimatsu..."

He just hums, not caring if she can hear him or not.

He hangs up and sighs. He was starting to feel better, but now that he made contact with (Y/n), he was kicked down the ladder he just climbed, now back in the hole that he dug.

__

Today was the day.

Today was the day that the books are published into book stores.

When he woke up that morning, he felt exhausted. He tried to go back to sleep but his cats mowed at him, begging that he got up early.

He sighs and nods at them, knowing that they were hungry. He yawns, moving to the kitchen and begins to pour the cat food into their bowls. He smiles when they meow at him, a silent way to show that they were thankful.

He decided that he stayed indoors all day. Watch a movie, hang with his cats, nap, take a shit, and then end the day.

Since he knew that today was his first day that the books are published, he didn't want attention to be set on him when he walked around.

The day was going swiftly, he tried to make the day pass on quicker by taking a nap but he kept on waking up randomly. So he tried to go back to sleep, again, and again. But he kept on waking up. He gets upset that he can't sleep without waking up the next hour. He walks over to his kitchen to grab a snack. Then a knock disrupts his tired awakening.

He groans before moving to open the door. His eyes widened. "What are you doing here, Shittymatsu?" he spits, already hating that he sees the person he wants to see the least.

"I want to talk." Karamatsu's voice sounded serious. He didn't tell any bullshit poetic lines, he was serious. Ichimatsu hummed before opening the door. Ichimatsu watched as he sat down in the middle of (Y/n)'s couch. Ichimatsu's eye twitched when he sat too close to her spot.

"What do you want?" He closes the door, making sure that his cats won't run out.

"I want to talk about the book that you published today..."

Ichimatsu hums, "What? Did it not get as many sales? Not surprised, I am a shitty author after all."

"No, it was a bestseller ."

Ichimatu's eyes went wide, "What?"

"Yeah I know, I got an early copy of your novel before it was published so I had time to read it before others."

Ichimatsu was confused about how Karamatsu wasn't celebrating or shooting him shitty lines of praise and compliments.

Something was wrong.

"I finished the novel this morning, and I loved it..." His voice drifts off as he pulls out the novel from his bag. "And at the end, it sounded like she was saying goodbye at the special note."

Special note?

"What? What are you talking about?"

"What? You didn't see the special note?" Karamatsu asks with shock, lacing onto his words.

What the hell was he talking about?

Karamatsu quickly turns the pages towards the end of the novel and offers Ichimatsu the book. He quickly takes it, reading the note from (Y/n) herself.

Since when did she add a note in the book?

Special note from (L/n) (Y/n),

To the people who have finished this autobiography. I hope that you're doing fine. I hope that you're in the light of hope and dreams that will come true. I hope you know that it's so hard for me to be adding in this book. As time passes, I'll just be a memory of people's minds. I have made many sacrifices to keep myself from taking all of the spotlights, so I leave it up to you to take it for me. I don't want to be forced to steal such an opportunity from people that are working so hard to achieve their goals, and I sound like someone who has snatched it from everyone's line. I'm sorry. I have run too deep into a forest to help others, that I have helped them escape but they miscounted and forgot my return. That doesn't matter. Scars tell a story, don't push it too deep though. Hah...

...I'm sorry.

Ichimatsu grips hard on the book. "I never added this..."

Karamatsu stares at the ground, "Have you heard the news lately?"

Ichimatsu stares at him, "I don't care about the news. Why?"

"She... she committed suicide this morning, Ichimatsu Sensei..."

...

What?

Ichimatsu drops the book from his hands. "No, No." he laughs, "You're joking, right?"

Karamatsu shakes his head, "I'm so sorry Ichimatsu Sensei..."

He gets up to leave, giving him some space. He leaves the book with Ichimatsu.

As soon as he leaves, Ichimatsu huffs, struggling to breathe.

She's... gone?

What did he mean by... gone?

Ichimatsu turns on his TV, quickly flipping through the channels.

"Earlier this afternoon, the CEO of Akatsuka named (L/n) (Y/n) had unfortunately committed suicide."

Click!

"An autobiography was released right on the day that she killed herself."

Click!

No.

"People are devastated that a young woman in her early twenties has sadly ended her life and people have been reporting that she had crippling depression from her past history and her current stability-- "

He switches off the TV.

No.

NO.

NO!

He begins to scream in his apartment, not caring if the neighbors are going to hear. He lost someone he loved.

Why...?

Why?

Why?

Why?!

He tugs on his hair, his cats scrambling around in fear when he gets too close to him. Agitation and corruption shatters his heart.

Ichimatsu sobs his heart out, his cries echo his apartment as he remembers the laughter (Y/n) brought them. Now instead of tears of laughter, it was tears of grief.

He had let go of her when she begged him not too.

__

He didn't get it.

To my dearest Ichimatsu,

He didn't get it at all.

First, I want to say that I'm so sorry for arguing with you.

Why did it have to be her?

I know that you're not a fan of reading, despite the fact that you're an author, and I just gave you many pages of them...

Why couldn't it have been someone else?

I'm sorry.

Why couldn't it have been someone he didn't know? It would even be better if it were Karamatsu.

I'm sorry that I didn't find the encouragement to tell you what had been troubling me when we were together.

(Y/n) didn't deserve this...

If I did tell you, I didn't want to affect the way you look at me.

But then again...

I'm sure you know that I hate looking so vulnerable around you when I know you look up to me.

...It was his fault.

Ichimatsu had never faced such a dilemma. He always seemed to enjoy it in horror movies or not care when people lose someone they love. He didn't care. Because that's life isn't it? But now he feels what the other people feel. And he fucking hates it.

I hope that you don't blame yourself, Ichimatsu-kun.

How could he not?

Ichimatsu clenched the papers in his hands, slightly crumpled from where he held. His head was spinning, as he tried his best to remain focused on what was in the letters. Has he read them? Yes, too many times to even count. He searched them over and over again, trying to find the answers to his questions that left him devastated in grief. He can still hear her voice when he reads the letters, but it was never enough.

In fact, (Y/n)'s death was beginning to cause her more than just pain.

Everyone knows that he was always distant and reserved. But his communication with others vanished. His books were put on hold and people were asking him questions and demanding that he continue his Princess Nyatalia series. He felt stupid. All his motivation was stripped away from him.

When he tries to recall her smile, his stomach would turn. Because remembering such an innocent image brought him to tears when he remembered the pictures of (Y/n)'s wrists being slit open from the police.

Because of this, he barely took care of his cats. They barely brought him joy anymore. The cats were worried and tried to give him attention, but he'd just shoo them away, wanting some space to himself. And he had trouble sleeping. Every time he closes his eyes, he remembers the pain that he's ignored that was so obvious to him. He was usually one of those people who can read emotions and atmospheres. Why did he miss (Y/n)? If he did, he could have saved her.

It was his fault.

If he hadn't yelled at her, pushed her over the edge, this wouldn't have happened. He gave her a shove down the cliff that (Y/n) was horrified by. She had begged him over and over again when they slept together that he wouldn't let her go and he promised that he would never do such a thing. But he let her fall. His back turned back to her when she needed him the most.

Out of all the people in the world, why did it have to be (Y/n)? She was Ichimatsu's rock, his savior, and the person who changed his world. Why did life have to challenge her, affecting not only her but him as well? He understood that she was avoiding him so they both don't get overly attached, but why couldn't he just have her? Why did she give him a pile of letters instead of letting him know? She was so close... Why did she back down? Was she aware of the pain she was giving him? How could she do this to him?

No.

How could he do this to her?

It all made sense.

She commissioned him to write an autobiography before she died.

Her abusive past and sudden grief was a sign that she had crippling depression.

Her mood was shifting when the story was ending because she knew that her time was almost up.

Who knew how hard she was treated in the office? That explained why it was so loud when he called. She was being mentally abused in the office.

When (Y/n)'s housekeeper was grateful that he was making her happy.

When she begged him not to go away when they slept together.

Why she sounded so weak and tired when she informed him that she got his copy.

And what killed him the most: she was avoiding him because she didn't want her to be overly attached.

She wanted to love him, didn't she?

What was holding her back?

I hope you remember when I said that I suck at writing. Well, you're in luck. You're reading my writing. But it's not really story-like, I hope you don't mind. I hope you're not mad at me for keeping this a deep secret. Oh wait, of course, you're angry. You yelled at me when we were at the drink bar. I'm sorry for not opening up.

What was refraining her from speaking the truth? Was someone threatening her? He hopes not. He never understood how (Y/n) was able to live in such pain. She always put on this optimistic mask, but without it, she was a whole war zone of PTSD and depression. How come she didn't have the courage to tell him how she felt but felt no fear when knowing that she was going to die? Ichimatsu never understood her mind.

I'm sorry that I was obvious. I wish that I hid it more so that you wouldn't read me easier. Did you know you were the first person to see through my mask? You're amazing Ichimatsu, please know that for a fact. Now you know why I avoided you after some time right? I can only assume you know.

Yes, he knew why. But other questions never left his thoughts. It bothered him, over and over again. It keeps on burning into his mind. Knowing that he did her dirty work on writing her autobiography to show the reason why she had committed suicide.

I hate being sad. Like what you said, "feelings suck." Hahaha. I love that. Especially being cursed with crippling depression and pressure at work never really helped burn out the fire, it just added more power for it to burn. I was growing tired of the pain. I never really opened up because I was afraid that you were going to think that I'm crazy and the guilt that I've lived through it going to haunt me even more. I didn't want you to deal with my problems. So I extinguished the fire on my own, thus, ending my life.

Didn't want to deal with her problems? No, he wanted to help extinguish the flames that are causing her such pain. It was impossible for someone to deal with fire without a partner. He didn't understand why she was keeping this from him. He could have helped. Why didn't she seek help?

My wish is that you don't blame yourself Ichimatsu. I know that you're not going to believe me. It's not your fault that I'm gone. Please know that.

Liar. If it wasn't his, then who was it?

Mine.

No, it wasn't.

It isn't your fault that I've found you intriguing. It's not your fault that I love the fact that you adore cats. It's not your fault that I love your flustered expressions. It's not your fault that my heart began to ache when I found out that I loved you. It's not your fault that you're so damn irresistible. Yes, I said that. Hahaha.

He could feel the same pain that grows in her heart. It could be the same pain that she felt when she had gone through such horrible tribulations.

I hope that I left you anything unresolved.

Are you kidding me? He had a million questions.

I also beg that you don't dwell on this. Please don't blame yourself. I hope that you can forget such a thing as soon as possible.

How was he going to do that? She came into his life and changed it. She brought him smiles and attention that he didn't know he craved. He grew more open, positive, and affectionate. How could he forget someone like her?

But most importantly though, I'm sorry.

Stop apologizing.

I know what I should have done, but it was already too late.

Don't blame yourself.

This is really my fault. I'm sorry for putting you through such a thing.

Does she think that it's her fault?

I suck at this. Even in writing, I can't even talk to you.

Tears were spilling out of Ichimatu's eyes. He couldn't believe it. He wouldn't believe it. She... She was really gone forever. He was never going to see him again.

Ichimatsu placed the letters back in the envelope and hid it in his drawer.

That was enough reading for today.

__

The day of her funeral came. It was a private funeral and he wore his black suit and stood in the back. Just eyeing the casket as cries echoed in his ears. He couldn't bring himself to look at her. Hell, he didn't know why he was here. He can feel every stare that was embarked on him. He saw (Y/n)'s parents that were in front of the casket, sobbing their hearts out. He saw (Y/n)'s old friends, and he could bring himself to stare at them for long. It felt like a sin for him to even be there.

Everyone was crying. He felt the atmosphere that was so dark and sad. He didn't cry along with them. He already shed all the tears that he had left.

No matter how many times people or even (Y/n) herself would tell him that it wasn't his fault for his death. He would never be convinced.

It was his fault for letting (Y/n) die.

He's the reason why she's done.

She would've still been here if it weren't for him.

He plucked the last feather that was on her angelic wings, leaving her flightless.

How did she find all the courage to just smile all through it? Hell, he was sad and he couldn't even muster up a smile to show that he was fine. He let it all out. How on earth did this woman find happiness when she knew that she would never be happy?

If you're reading this, that means today is my funeral. I told you not to open it until it was over, but it's okay if you didn't go. I understand. Maybe it would be a bit awkward if you went.

Awkward? No. The word "awkward" had little to no impact.

You didn't have to go. I know how it feels, hah.

Oh, do you?

I'm probably in the afterlife now. I just hope that it's really cool. I mean there's a 40% chance that I went to hell, but I'm sure I'll be fine either way.

A laugh slipped through his chapped lips, only to be followed by tears.

I bet you're still blaming yourself.

She knew him well.

Will you stop? It's not your fault!

HOW? How is this not his fault? How was this something that couldn't be blamed for his arrogance?

It's not that you don't love me, Ichimatsu...

...It's because I can't love you.

His throat caught up. He dropped the papers and let his tears spill. He couldn't take it anymore. He broke down. He slammed his fists against his desk, letting out a hoarse, silent scream. "Why did you tell me?!" his voice breaking severely.

I know that I'll be gone, but know that I'll always be there. There's no way you're going on without me being with you.

"L-Liar..."

I'm still here.

"You're-- You're not..."

I will always be there.

"No, you won't."

I never really left.

"Yes you did," he sniffs, "and it's because of me..."

Suddenly, Ichimatsu felt empty. Even though he put on this scary demeanor, he felt something break inside of him. There was no fixing him now. Not when she's gone. Why was that he missed his smile when he knew that he wouldn't be able to see it ever again? When he longed for her touch and he knew that he'd never feel it again.

A photo on his desk piqued his attention. He turned his head, seeing the small picture. It was a framed photo of (Y/n) and Ichimatsu. (Y/n) was smiling and holding up the peace sign and Ichimatsu smiling slightly with an arm around his neck. They looked... so happy...

He missed her so much. Her laughter, her eyes, her attitude, her sass, their walks, and hangouts.

He knew that it would never happen again.

(Y/n) was Ichimatsu's soulmate, but death was hers.

END

#osomatsu-san #osomatsu san #ichimatsu #Ichimatsu x reader #angst #osomatsu stories #osomatsu hc #ichimatsu/reader #death

[laylacooke]

Did You Just UMWC Me Fall? || Morgan & Layla

timing: Earlier in the month. parties: @mor-beck-more-problems & @laylacooke summary: Morgan talks to Layla about life and college.

While college hadn’t been the main thing on Layla’s mind anymore, it had been a lingering thought. So, with nothing better to do, the nineteen-year-old decided to check out UMWC for the day.

The campus, a beautiful sight, hadn’t been quite as big as some of the colleges she had toured back home in Tennessee, but it did remind her of her past residence. However, it was the lingering memory of what she had done to Blanche and her car nearly a month ago that left a bad taste in her mouth. Walking this campus would forever be a reminder, and as she moved from one part of the university grounds to another, she hadn’t quite noticed where she was going, resulting in the collision with a parked row of bicycles that sent her tumbling over and to the ground.

With a groan, Layla sat up, cheeks bright red, hoping no one had seen what had just happened.

Morgan, having just finished her last summer session, was carting out the books and resources she’d kept on hand so she could cram the next semester’s reading list onto her tiny shelves in her office. With her new zombie strength, she could almost get the books to her Subaru in one go. She was nearing the parking lot when she spotted a girl take a tumble over the bike racks. Morgan rushed over, shifting her heavy box to one side as she bent over to help her up. “Hey, are you alright? Do you need a lift to student health services? That uh, looked like a big yikes.”

Layla rubbed the pain out of her shin and leg, before attempting to find her footing. The sooner she was up, the sooner she could forget about embarrassing herself in front of anyone that had seen her. It was the offer of a hand and a trip to student health services that caused the once subsiding redness of her cheeks to come back stronger than ever. Looking up, she gave the woman a weary smile and utilized the help. Her leg was still aching, mainly from where Ariana had clawed her, but otherwise, she had been fine, “I’ll be fine, and thank you. I think it was my pride more than anything. Plus, I doubt they’d see me. I don’t actually go here. I was just checking out the campus.” She dusted herself off and hobbled back away from the woman to give her some space, “Question is do you need help? That box looks pretty heavy.”

Morgan was too concerned with giving the girl a once-over for obvious signs of injury to think about hiding her confusion at her question. “Do I--huh?” Then she looked at her box, crammed to the limit with books, balanced easily with one arm on her hip. “Oh! Yeah, you know I uh…” She pulled back and switched to both arms, twisting her face into her best grimace. “It is really heavy. Just--whew!” Without thinking, she lifted a hand to wipe her brow, trying to really sell the idea. “But I work out, you know? Lifting...weights and stuff. Anyways, I don’t mean to keep you if you’re headed to class. Unless there’s something I can help with? I’ve only been teaching here for a little bit, but I know my way around pretty well I think?”

The teenager narrowed her eyes for a moment but shrugged it off. If she had it under control, “Right. Well as long as it’s not hurting you or anything.” Layla eased up and shifted a little in her stance, still adjusting from the fall, “I’m not a student or anything like that. I mean I’ve thought about coming here. Well college. I’ve thought about college. But life kinda got in the way, and I don’t know if it’s something that will ever really be in the cards now.” She shifted her eyes to the ground. The redhead had imagined so much for her future. Getting away from her parents. Starting her own life free of the supernatural. Marrying the love of her life and starting a family. But her plans had changed the night she was bitten. “Do you maybe have some brochures or something?” It wouldn’t hurt to take some home, right? At least she could look them over and have something to hold onto and dream about.

Something about the girl’s words struck Morgan as familiar. It reminded her of Frankie, of course, who was still too new to town and wary of hope to enroll just yet. And by extension, she remembered herself. ‘Life happened’ and ‘things just came up’ were her favorite shorthand for her curse. Saying the word itself was out of the question, and if she went down the line of particulars, she always feared someone would think her too needy and dramatic. And, heck, maybe she was, but when you had to keep your chin up while the world fell around you for the third or fourth time, sometimes you wanted the world to turn on a spotlight and notice and say it was fucking sorry. “I’m just an adjunct for now, but I do have an info sheet for drop-ins somewhere in here. You know, UMWC is one of the more affordable universities out there and I think the financial aid office is more understanding than most, which is the best one can hope for until we get free education someday--but, anyway--” Morgan set down her box and started digging through all her books. Of course, the folder she was looking for was smushed down at the very bottom. “If you’ve got the time and the will, I’ll try and do what I can to help you out here, if you decide to go for it. You wanna tell me a little about your situation, or at least your name, so I know who I’m helping?”

She watched as the woman sat the box down and began digging for papers. Dropping in on a class could be fun. Layla had always taken pride in learning new things. Well, things that interested her. Having her parents force her to learn about werewolves, survival in the wilderness, first aid, and other practical things a hunter needed to know had never been her idea of fun. Except for archery. She had taken on a love of archery. About the only thing she had found pleasant at the expense of her mother and father’s fortune, “Really? I mean I don’t exactly have the means to afford college right now, and I got into some trouble a little while ago…” Every day she had regretted what she had done to Sam and Took’s, and now, she would be paying for it; as she rightly believed she should. Biting at her bottom lip, she was almost hesitant to give her name, but decided to anyways, “Uh, Layla. My name’s Layla.”

“I’m sure whatever happened, the admissions office has seen worse,” Morgan assured her. She had to unload all the books, and the magic game of Tetris she’d been able to rig together was doomed to be wrecked. She paused in her work just as she fished out the folder in question. “Wait--Layla. Do you--?” Her face wrinkled with curiosity. It seemed unlikely, but White Crest was a small town… “Are you friends with Ari and Ulf? I just--I’ve heard of you from them. And Blanche. I’m friends with them too, to be clear. Whatever happened to you before, it’s safe with me. Oh, and uh, that goes for whether you’re the same Layla I’ve heard about or not, obviously.” Morgan passed her the info sheet. “I’m Morgan, by the way.”

“Yeah, I don’t know about that.” Getting in trouble with the law wasn’t exactly a good thing, especially when it came to jobs and college admissions, but if she didn’t at least try, she’d never know. It was the woman’s reply that caught Layla off guard. So, this woman did know of her. Did she know about Blanche’s car? “Yep. I...I live with them. So, I’m guessing if you know Blanche, you probably know some other stuff…” She looked towards the ground embarrassed, before catching the info sheet out of the corner of her eye. Slowly reaching out for it, she gave the woman a small smile, but kept her head down, until her name was confirmed. Morgan. She knew Blanche. She had seen them interacting online before. Did that mean that she knew about the car situation? “I think we’ve talked online before, about pie prizes and college and stuff.”

Morgan clocked Layla’s embarrassment instantly. From what she knew of the girl there were a lot of reasons she might feel that way. Between her public social media and a truly ridiculous crisis with a fidget spinner, she had gotten herself into a lot of trouble. The mention of Blanche, however, gave her some idea. “We have,” Morgan said. “And I do know about some of your more dramatic misadventures. Including that it wasn’t your fault. The stuff with your fidget...toy thing? You, at the very least, were not in full control of your actions. So, if you’re looking for a guilt trip about Blanche’s car or what you did to Ariana, I’m just not that person. And, I think I said this online at some point, but just so we’re clear: you’re still a good kid, Layla. And even if life is happening a lot to you, you shouldn’t give up on your future.”

Morgan had said something that Layla had needed to hear. In so many ways, people had shown the girl that they cared and believed in her. But for some reason, hearing it from a stranger, she had only briefly talked to online, seemed to linger in her mind. Whether it was just the right moment or something in the air, she was glad she had run into Morgan. With a little more confidence, she forced herself to look up and make eye contact, “I guess I just struggle with believing I deserve those things. I was told all my life that if I didn’t follow a certain path, I was going to fail. And I didn’t, and the failure part kind of came true…” She kicked at the ground, her eyes settling downward for a moment as she fought back tears, “But I want a chance at a future and a good life.” Raising her head, she looked back at Morgan, “I just don’t know how to achieve it. And, I know this sounds crazy, but I’m...scared…”

Morgan gave the young wolf a knowing look and started to re-pile her things all over again, now with much less paranoia about showing her super strength. “This might sound wild, but you’re really not alone in that feeling. I feel like for some people you just...get so used to being stepped on, it gets easier to think you deserve it than to believe that you don’t. But, you’re still here. And you’re still a good kid. And not every voice in your head is telling you the truth.” She smirked good-naturedly at Layla’s last statement and threw in the rest of her things. “First of all, you’re talking to a gal with a decent-sized history of depression and anxiety. Crazy-slash-scared-slash-sad is sometimes just another Tuesday if I’m in a low. Second of all, this is a pretty rational thing to feel scared about. Everyone’s afraid of the future, and of things not turning out the way they want. We want to plan, and we want to make our dreams come true, and…” Morgan paused for a moment, letting out a sigh for her past self. “The more we want something, especially when we’re not used to having good things at all...I think for some people that can be one of the scariest things there is. The trick is not letting the fear control you too much. So uh, maybe try out that application? Think about what you’d wanna major in?”

She hadn’t expected to come to campus and have a therapy session, but it was appreciative. And she knew Morgan was right. Layla’s life, while full and financially stable up until this last year, had been full of heartache. Coming from a home with parents who constantly put her down had certainly done a number on Layla’s mind and own self-worth. But the woman was right. What did she have to lose? The worst that could happen is she would be rejected. She just wasn’t sure where the money would come from to pay for college, but at least if she applied, it would be a step in the right direction, “I guess I could try that. At least I would know if they would accept me.” She chewed on her lip and thought for a moment, “Well, I was thinking about fashion, but I don’t see White Crest, Maine as being a big fashion town.” She laughed softly, once more looking down at the application, “What would you recommend?”

Morgan hefted her box on her hip and dusted herself off. “There’s more offered here than you’d expect,” she said. “I wouldn’t give up on something so fast just because you’re not in the epicenter of New York or Paris or something. I bet whatever textile arts program they have here can set you up with an internship in Augusta or Bangor later on in your degree plan. But there’s nothing that says you have to decide right away either. Just, show up as undecided. Take your time with some basics and electives. See what you really like and what you’re really good at.” She shrugged and reached out a comforting hand to squeeze Layla’s shoulder before backing away, gesturing to the young wolf to follow her to the staff parking lot. “Obviously I think you should take my lit seminar for your English credit, because my students get to do things like write their own stories and read cool, sometimes creepy books, in my humble opinion. But I’m a bit biased, obviously. And look, the more you try things out in the beginning, the easier it’ll be to figure out what you really want. What matters is that you let yourself actually try, Layla.”

Layla took in all the words carefully. There was some good advice to be pulled from what Morgan was telling her. She had a lot to think about. If she wanted to go to college, it was now or never right. Maybe signing up for a few classes wouldn’t be so bad, if she could get financial aid. She had remembered talking to her high school guidance counselor about her options, but scholarships had been on the table back then. Nevertheless, at this moment, it was just her standing in her own way...or so she thought. In all her talk of going back to school, she hadn’t even taken her parents into consideration. If she was trying to lay low, this wasn’t the way to do it. But she still wanted to hear Morgan out and following her to her car meant that something in her life could feel normal for at least the briefest of moments. It might have been a pipe dream, but the more information she got, the better off she would be if she, in fact, was able to have a future that held her dreams, and that was something she was holding out hope for.

#para: did you just umwc me fall? #mor-beck-more-problems #wickedswriting