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marrcelos · 1 year

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“hey guys, i’m marcelo valmount and this is the wired autocomplete interview,” he chuckles, a bit nervously, “kind of scared to see what you guys have been looking up.”

autocomplete suggests the most common searches on the internet @nepofminspo

who...

1. who is marcelo valmount?

“i don’t know... who am i?” a pause is taken, as he pretends to think, “a menace to society, i’d say.” he keeps a serious face for half a second, before he bursts out laughing, “i’m marcelo valmount. it’s me! hi.”

2. who is marcelo valmount currently dating?

“wow, you guys are nosey,” the camera crew chuckles, “kidding, um,” he shrugs casually, “as of right now, no one. i’m single.”

3. who is marcelo valmount’s celebrity crush?

“honest to god, the one, the only, lana del rey. i can listen to all of her songs, released, unreleased, whatever, on a repetitive loop. she really speaks to my non existent depressed emo baby girl alter ego who drinks cherry coke and has permanent mascara stains on her cheeks,” he laughs a bit, “i’ve met her a few times too and she’s the coolest person ever. she’s honestly a gift to society – we don’t deserve her.”

4. who does marcelo valmount listen to?

“i’m assuming this means music wise, right?” he raises an eyebrow, throwing away the paper he had peeled off onto the ground. “besides lana del rey, i listen to a bit of everything, but i’m not huge on country, rap, or really mainstream pop... depends on my mood, i would say. i also really like italian music. one of my favorite italian artists is alfa. his music is really good.”

how...

5. how is marcelo valmount?

he finds himself chuckling a bit, “i’m good, thanks for asking. the fact that random people on the internet are somewhat concerned about my mental health is touching. you all get hugs.”

6. how can i meet marcelo valmount?

“i’m... not too sure. i’ve had people close to me tell me i can be hard to get a hold of, but if it helps, i really like checking out new vegan restaurants or cafe’s. if a new vegan location opens up, odds are i’ll be there.”

7. how tall is marcelo valmount?

he hides his face with the board filled with questions, before removing it and shaking his head, “could be taller. i’m 5′8.”

8. how does marcelo valmount know brad mondo?

“i got my hair done by him once!” he giggles at the memory, “yeah, one of my friend’s recommended him a while back. he bleached my hair really light blonde. he did a pretty good job. he’s a funny guy and if i ever decide to dye my hair again, he’s the first person i would call.”

is...

9. is marcelo valmount a natural blonde?

he shakes his head, “i feel the last answer gave it away, but no, i’m not. my natural hair color is brown.”

10. is marcelo valmount from italy?

“yes, and no. i was born in new york, but my mother is fully italian, born and raised. i’m really in touch with my italian roots. i consider myself more italian than anything. italy is my favorite place in the whole wide world.”

11. is marcelo valmount a vegan?

he nods enthusiastically, “i am a vegan, yes! again, feel like my response to a previous question gave this one away, but i’ve been a vegan for... maybe three, four years now? not too sure.”

12. is marcelo valmount gay?

he lets out a laugh, but nods his head, “i don’t like to label myself, but yes, society would label me as gay. yes, i am gay.”

13. is marcelo valmount related to hayden christensen?

he lets out a disappointed sigh, “i get this question a lot, but tragically, unfortunately, sadly? no. we’re not related. i’ve never even met him before. it would be really cool if we were, though.”

14. is marcelo valmount a libra?

“no, i’m not. i’m a sagittarius. i’m not too into the zodiac, but i get asked if i’m a libra a lot. i’m not sure why people think i’m a libra.”

15. is marcelo valmount friends with jeffree star?

he nods, “yeah, i am. not sure why though, considering he’s a bully,” he playfully pokes his tongue out at the camera, “no, but he’s actually really cool. i’ve known him for a while now. anytime i go over and the talk gets too deep he’ll be like ‘marcelo, shut up. you’re a baby!’ and i’m like ‘nah, you’re just old’. we have some idiotic banter going on for sure, but yes, he’s my friend.”

what...

16. what is marcelo valmount’s comfort show?

he smiles softly. “oh, i love this question. i’d say please like me is one of my favorite’s. i’ve seen it about five times already. i can relate to a lot of it, it’s a great coming of age, lgbt show, and i love the australian accents.”

17. what is marcelo valmount’s favorite color?

“it’s a tie between blue or gold, though i’d probably say mostly blue. i really like any shade of blue a lot.”

18. what color are marcelo valmount’s eyes?

“blue, and changes depending on the lighting. sometimes they look grey, other times shooting towards green, but most definitely blue.”

19. what is marcelo valmount’s middle name?

“my middle name is leonardo!”

20. what is marcelo valmount’s favorite dish?

he thinks about this for a while. “i would say vegan eggplant parmesan. i also really like caesar salad.”

21. what is marcelo valmount’s favorite season?

“definitely summer. i’m not a fan of the cold. i definitely struggle with new york’s harsh winter’s.” he admits with a light hearted laugh.

22. what is marcelo valmount doing right now?

“this interview, of course, and enjoying every moment of it.”

23. what is marcelo valmount’s favorite nail polish brand?

“mooncat! it’s honestly incredible. i mean... it doesn’t even look like nail polish, it looks like art. it lasts forever too, longer than when i actually go and get my nails done. my favorite shade from them is millennia. i highly recommend this brand if you’re a nail junkie like me.” he shows his painted, holographic nails to the camera and waves them around, grinning.

24. what languages can marcelo valmount speak?

“english, obviously, italian, and spanish. i’d like to learn portuguese too, but baby steps.”

where...

25. where does marcelo valmount get his rings from?

“usually tous or swarovski. they’re usually custom made so... sorry if you don’t find them anywhere.”

26. where is marcelo valmount’s modeling agency located at?

“there are a couple worldwide, but the one i work for is somewhere on the upper east side. i don’t know the address exactly, though.”

27. where does marcelo valmount eat breakfast?

“i know it’s the most important meal of the day, but i usually don’t eat breakfast,” he runs a hand past his hair, “in the morning, i can’t get myself to eat. especially if it’s really early, i don’t know, it makes me sick. so the answer to this is nowhere! i wait until lunch time. i can’t be bothered to eat at eight in the morning.” he waves a hand dismissively.

does...

28. does marcelo valmount have tattoos?

“i don’t! um,” he shrugs, “not that i haven’t thought about it, i just don’t think i’ve ever liked anything long enough to get it permanently on my skin. on top of that, i’m a real scaredy cat when it comes to needles, so the idea of one repeatedly gracing my skin with ink just terrifies me. i don’t have any tattoos and will probably never get a tattoo, but i like tattoos. especially color ones.”

29. does marcelo valmount have siblings?

he’s quiet for what seems to be an eternity, before he nods, hesitantly. “i do. that’s my only answer. yes.”

30. does marcelo valmount like scary movies?

he shakes his head all too quickly. “definitely not a fan of scary movies. i’ll pass hard on that one. i don’t like purposefully scaring myself.”

31. does marcelo valmount have a pet?

he starts smiling widely, “yes, i do. i have a ragdoll cat who i love with my whole heart. the story of how i got him is quite sad. um,” he scratches his bridge of his nose, “i found him in a garbage can when he was no older than four months. how someone has the heart to put a baby animal in a garbage can is beyond me, but i’m glad i found him. his name is draco meowfoy... i came up with the name after three mimosas, so don’t judge.”

32. does marcelo valmount sing?

“god, no,” he laughs a bit, “i love music, but i can’t hold a tune to save my life.”

33. does marcelo valmount dance?

“yes! i like dancing when i’m out at the club with my friends, or even dancing to a song i find catchy. note that the question is do i dance, not if i’m a good dancer, because i’m definitely not.”

34. does marcelo valmount speak spanish?

“si! i don’t think my spanish is as spot on as my italian, but i definitely understand everything being said, and i can reply back in spanish. yes, i speak spanish.”

35. does marcelo valmount have an android?

“i don’t have an android. i think there’s a misconception that i do because i was on a galaxy commercial when i was like.... nineteen, but no, i don’t have an android.”

36. does marcelo valmount have instagram?

“yes, my username is @marcelo.valmount.”

37. does marcelo valmount have his own clothing line?

he lets out an excited squeal. “it’s a work in progress, but i think i can answer now with certainty... yes! i’ve been working on it for a really long time now and it’s finally being dropped next year in february. it’s called to the moon and mars. mars is my nickname, so i thought i was being clever there. i’m very excited for you guys to see what i’m going to be releasing. i’m honestly so thankful i’m getting the opportunity to do this.”

did...

38. did marcelo valmount break his wrist?

“i didn’t break it, i fractured it last year. it’s fully healed now. it was very painful... wouldn’t like to relive it, honestly.”

39. did marcelo valmount date connor jessup?

“we did not date, no. there’s this idea that we have because we’re both gay and we’re friends, but we never dated.”

40. did marcelo valmount ever graduate high school?

“yes i did. i’m even going to college now. time flies.”

he throws the final cardboard onto the ground. “this was my wired autocomplete interview. probably one of my favorite interviews so far, very random questions,” he chuckles softly, “bye guys!” he waves, the camera officially no longer rolling.