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stimsensory · 4 years

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Getting Diagnosed: 2

After I had been referred for assessment, I was apparently seen in school by a Community Paediatrician. I don’t actually remember any of this, but apparently the meeting was fairly short and, according to my parents, I asked some rather blunt, inappropriate questions, such as asking whether the doctor (who I assume had an accent) was speaking English. Now, I can get how embarrassing and rude that must’ve been, but at the time I probably only asked because I was struggling to understand them (I still struggle with strong accents sometimes, or even no accents when overwhelmed, but I wouldn’t ask that now!).

The paediatrician basically summarised that whilst I showed quite a lot of traits of Asperger’s Syndrome, they wanted to wait and get more information before coming to a conclusion, which is fair enough. The appointment was fairly short, and it can be very difficult to get a full view of someone’s development after only a single, short, meeting.

At this point, my parents started looking into private options. For readers outside of the UK: most British people don’t use private healthcare, as we rely upon the NHS for many, if not all, of our medical needs. It is not common for people to buy private healthcare. It tends to allow you to essentially jump from a long queue to a shorter queue, and can mean longer appointments. Nowadays, the NHS still provides amazing physical healthcare. However, it’s mental healthcare has long waiting lines. Once you finish waiting, the care can be great. But many are forced to wait for months, if not years, for assessments for disorders like ASD.

Luckily for us, my dad had private healthcare from his employers (again, not a very common occurrence as far as I know) so we were able to seek private help. I saw a Child Neuropsychologist for around an hour a week for 6 weeks (as far as I remember). This allowed her to get to know me better and see me for longer. Rather than just seeing me once, she saw me across a longer timeline and therefore had a better understanding of my problems.

From what I remember, essentially I went to a lady’s house every week, and sat with her in the kitchen whilst my parents waited in a little room with a sofa. I remember we would do a variety of tests, that I actually enjoyed because they seemed like puzzles. For example, I remember I had to read a paragraph and recall some of it (not really interesting), and decode some symbols (way more fun). So I thought that was pretty cool, even if I didn’t actually really know what was going on or why. To be honest, I don’t remember caring that much. Maybe I thought it was tutoring, or some kind of test for school.

I did not realise my social skills were also being assessed, which is actually very good as it meant I would not have been tempted to camouflage any ‘odd’ things I did. At that point, I wasn’t really aware of which of my behaviours were considered ‘weird’, or which of my social skills were lacking. All I really knew was that I did not understand people and most of them did not understand me. I would much rather read than socialise, because other people were confusing and stressful. I had no clue why every other child could easily make friends, but rejected me almost instantly. Even according to my diagnosis, most of my classmates apparently found me annoying, whilst a few ‘tolerated’ me. So overall, I understood that I was not behaving ‘normally’, but I had no clue how to figure out what I was doing ‘wrong’ or how to change it.

Anyway, one specific aspect of the social evaluation always stood out to me. I remember at one point the Neuropsychologist told me I could bring in toys if I wanted. I took this to mean that I ought to bring some toys in, and therefore took some Sylvanian families toys in to the next meeting. From my own perspective, she never brought the toys up during the session, which confused me. I assumed I was meant to play with them, because why else would she have told me I could bring them? So I just stopped a task and played with them, because I wanted to and because I thought that was what I was supposed to do. Now, according to my assessment, “[I] would suddenly break away from a task we were in the midst of to take out a toy to play with”. Which, whilst technically true from the view of an observer, does not really fully explain my behaviour. As a side note, that is one of the main problems I find in many aspects of autism research. Many researchers make assumptions from their own, non-autistic perspective, and often assume that is the only possible reason for engaging in a certain behaviour. They often also use autism theories to explain them, which again may rely upon inferences. If the Neuropsychologist had asked why I brought the toy out I could have told her (which is not possible for many non-verbal autistic people).

Other than the above though, the Neuropsychologist noted a lot of my autistic traits. She reported after around 20 minutes I started to get fidgety in my chair (something still true today!) and was very observant of visual details. I did not engage in conversation without prompting, and made variable, occasionally inappropriate eye contact. I apparently lacked a ‘Theory of Mind’. I agree that at that point, I did not really have a well developed ToM, but now I do believe I have a fairly good ability to understand and empathise with other people, if I can figure out what they are feeling and why. I think this ToM developed in secondary school, when I essentially realised and reluctantly accepted that others did things for reasons I did not know, and would not tell me. I did not understand why others did seemingly inexplicable things, and kind of took too long to realise they don’t automatically know what I mean or experience.

When she did IQ tests, she found I had an uneven skill-set. I won’t say what my exact IQ scores were, because many people (myself included, some of the time, unless it is specifically asked) find it pretentious. But basically I did very well on the ‘Perceptual Reasoning Index’ which had stuff like visualising 3D objects I think, and a lot lower on my ‘Working Memory’, ‘Verbal Comprehension’, and ‘Processing Speed Index’. I also had a very low executive skill score, along with a low visual-motor skill score. That is the reason I was allotted extra time in exams; my processing speed is far slower than would be expected from the other scores.

At the end of all of this, I was diagnosed with Asperger’s Syndrome. In more recent documents, this is usually referred to as ‘High Functioning Autism’ of ‘Autism Spectrum Disorder’, as Asperger’s is no longer diagnosed in the DSM-5. My parents told me about the diagnosis a few months after I got it. I remember reading a few notes that suggested they were told to wait until I was around 15-16 to tell me. I am very glad they told me earlier, as it meant I no longer felt like I was just failing at socialising whilst everyone else was passing without even trying. I do not exactly remember how they told me, but I think my reaction was a little anti-climactic, as I had never really heard of autism or Asperger’s before that, which is probably good as I did not have to deal with all of the fear mongering in the media. I had no previous assumptions about autism, other than ‘huh, that’s a thing that I have that explains why I struggle with social stuff’. Once I started researching autism, it was amazing to read other people’s accounts and just think ‘hey! I do that!’ and feel like you weren’t the odd one out any more.

My actual diagnostic assessment had a lot more in it (it’s a fairly long document), but I’ve kept it brief because it’s quite personal, and because this post is already pretty long.

From what I’ve read and seen, diagnostic assessments have changed a lot over the past few years. It can apparently take months, even years, for that fairly short initial appointment. I was also lucky to have a Neuropsychologist who was aware of the differences in how autism often presents in females vs males. Nowadays, there is more attention being paid to autistic females who may have gone undiagnosed, which is hopefully a step in the right direction.

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nealtv8 · 3 years

Video

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This is a 24-minute video showing all 81 route tasks that you can find in Cane Creek route for Train Sim World 2. The route tasks has new additions since this is a Skyhook Games route, there is Point of Interest Information Boards, Spiking Hammers, High Vis Vests, and Water Refill Stations. Collecting started from Potash to Thompson. I had took the "Mine to Mainline" free roam scenario so that I can drive light which stopping easily can come into effect in note which you would need to be stopping frequently. Maybe taking a service on winter clear can be recommend as well in order to easily see the small items if you have trouble collecting them. There is supposed to be 20 each to collect but I don't know why to the vests being miscounted, I still got the achievement anyway as the game counted to 80. Information about the route task items: -Point of Interest Information Boards are kind of much like route maps. They are a wooden structure with a white board. It will show a picture of the Corona Arch with it saying "Freight Information Board" in the middle as well as the description about on where it is as it being collected as it is being upon walked to. -Water Refill Stations appears to be usually have two dispensers which they would look clean. It is different per location. It will say "Cane Creek Water" on the dispenser. When walking into one of them will fill up them with water on of of the dispensers on the station -Spiking hammers appears as a hammer on a stick. These can be the hardest item to find on the route as it was very hard to spot them. Once collected, it will disappear. There is only 20 that you can find on the route. Also, It is now the hardest collectible to get from any route in Train Sim World history followed by No Trespassing Signs due to you can't see them. -High Vis Vests appears as a orange/white reflective vest and just like Spiking Hammers, they will disappear once being walked on and also one of the hardest to spot on the route as well. There are 21 of these to collect along the route. By far, this video took me over 3 hours to record everything, I had to reverse my train a couple of times due to lack of knowing on where these vests and hammers were. REUPLOAD UPDATE: I had realized that I was missing a hammer in the Canyon at Gemini. So I had recorded it and inserted it so now it is complete video now showing this missing collectible. It is not at fault on the Steam guide I had followed but it got corrected with the community as it wasn't on there when I did made video a bit after the guide was published. There is a Steam guide which is by chrisvazquez7 where they shown all the route tasks are if you do prefer written version of this. https://bit.ly/3ebbLRi TIMESTAMPS: 0:00 Potash 2:18 Long Canyon 2:59 Jug Handle Arch 3:38 Gold Bar Canyon 4:34 Corona Arch 6:11 Moab 7:54 Gemini 9:31 Seven Mile Canyon 10:25 Cotter Mine Road 11:09 Bartlett Wash 12:04 Canyonlands Field Airport 13:04 Cooper Ridge 15:05 County Road 94 17:07 Brendel 22:17 Thompson Social: Twitch: https://bit.ly/35N8IHF Non-Gaming Channel: https://www.youtube.com/c/2nealfire Twitch VOD Channel: hyperurl.co/yg8i18 Discord Server: https://bit.ly/2QcI4Ty Imgur: http://bit.ly/2ckec28 Facebook: http://bit.ly/2bPiBMt Twitter: http://bit.ly/2cpGHfa Instagram: http://bit.ly/2c66vRn Steam Profile: http://bit.ly/2bWgCD8 Steam Group: http://bit.ly/2bVD1lw Support: Patreon: https://bit.ly/2m3POFY Green Man Gaming: http://bit.ly/2cqrL3k Fanatical: https://bit.ly/33YQmWH Humble: https://bit.ly/2DPdgTs Donate/Tip: https://bit.ly/2TNoG29 Anonymous Donate/Tip: https://bit.ly/2GhjeN8 Download TubeBuddy: https://bit.ly/2Z0MLVQ Main PC Specs: CPU: AMD Ryzen 9 3900X 3.8GHz, Dozen-Core CPU Cooler: Noctua NH-D15 Motherboard: MSI B450 Gaming Pro Carbon AC (AM4 ATX) RAM: G.SKILL TridentZ 32GB (4 x 8GB) DDR4-3200MHz SSD: Western Digital Black SN750 1TB HDD1: Seagate Barracuda 3TB 7200RPM HDD2: Western Digital Black 2TB 7200RPM HDD3: Western Digital Blue 4TB 5400RPM HDD4: Western Digital Black 6TB Case: Thermaltake View 71 GPU: EVGA GeForce RTX 2080 XC2 Ultra ICX2 (8GB GDDR6) PSU: EVGA Supernova 850 G5, 80+ Gold Case Fans: 5x Deepcool RF120M Encoding PC Specs: CPU: AMD Ryzen 7 1800X 3.6GHz, Octa-Core CPU Cooler: Corsair H100i V2 Motherboard: ASUS ROG STRIX B450-F GAMING (AM4 ATX) RAM: G.SKILL TridentZ 32GB (2 x 16GB) DDR4-3200MHz (2666MHz due to 1800X) HDD1: Western Digital Blue 2TB 5400RPM HDD2: Seagate Barracuda 500GB 7200RPM HDD3: Seagate Barracuda 4TB 5900RPM SSD1: Western Digital Black PCIe 256GB SSD2: Samsung 840 EVO 500GB GPU: EVGA GeForce GTX 1070 SC ACX 3.0 Black Edition (8GB GDDR5) Case: Thermaltake View 31 PSU: Corsair RM750x, 80+ Gold Case Fans: 5x Deepcool RF120M

#IFTTT #YouTube

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cassolotl · 7 years

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Self-diagnosis in relation to doctors, Tumblr, and the disability community generally

In which I continue to be baffled by people who are against self-diagnosis, complete with descent into a frustrated “get over yourself” rant at the end.

So a few weeks back I wrote a thing about doctors failing a lot of autistic people, and celebrating that autistic people are diagnosing themselves and finding community.

I’d like to add that getting formally diagnosed was really helpful to me, on a personal level and also on a practical one - having a bit of paper from a doctor saying I’m autistic has allowed me to have access to various services much more easily, and it’s also taken away any doubt that I am autistic and I do experience various legitimate difficulties as a result of that. It’s helped me to accept myself, and even though it shouldn’t it has helped other people accept me as I am too.

So yeah, I am accepting of people who self-diagnose but alongside that I do also encourage people to get formally diagnosed if they think it might help them. It’s not like you can’t accept and appreciate both methods of self-discovery, you know?

But the reason I’m here is to talk about the reality of seeking diagnosis and how that fits with self-diagnosis.

My story starts sometime last year. I’d been unable to work for about 10 years due to, basically, tiredness - since I was 20-21ish. (So by the time I started to feel my life was severely negatively impacted by this condition I was probably older than most people who get hassle for self-diagnosing on Tumblr, right?) I couldn’t keep a job or even volunteer work because I kept calling in sick for tiredness. In the end I gave up. The GP tested my blood and told me that I wasn’t anaemic and didn’t have a thyroid condition, so they slapped on me the label of chronic fatigue syndrome (CFS). There was no known cause or cure, and the treatment was graded exercise and CBT. She told me that with no other symptoms it’s considered by the NHS a psychological condition, and I supposed at the time that that meant it was psychosomatic, or like being unable to get out of bed due to depression. I was in my early 20s and not very familiar with the medical system, and I had no idea was autistic, and I just accepted the diagnosis. I was never really satisfied, because it felt like a cop-out, but I accepted it as best I could and moved on. I know now that CFS is usually not a condition on its own but probably a symptom with an underlying cause.

Fast-forward a few years, and I’d been diagnosed with autism and after some fighting the system I was getting support in my day-to-day life. I was around people who loved and accepted me, and I was getting therapy that was helping with, among other things, my autistic difficulties.

One day I noticed that my lower left leg felt weird. It was lighter and it felt kind of nice actually. It took me a few minutes to work out that this weird feeling was the feeling of a healthy, pain-free muscle. It felt weird, in other words, because it didn’t hurt. I had forgotten the feeling of no pain in my lower left leg. But the entire rest of my body felt this other thing - heavy, tired, unpleasant. You know, like normal, the way it feels every day from when I wake up in the morning to when I go to sleep at night. The thing that gets worse every time I walk around or up and down the stairs. I was so accustomed to pain that I thought pain was normal and how everyone felt, and a lack of pain wasn’t just a shock, it was difficult to recognise.

I realised that maybe my tendency to feel less tired and sleepy after taking painkillers might be a bit weird. I thought I was having a strange reaction to painkillers, in a caffeine way somehow, and I felt I shouldn’t take painkillers if I’m not in pain because that would be an unhealthy dependency.

But what if...

Everything is different when you’re autistic. I came to terms with the idea that my entire body is in pain all the time, and my brain has just stopped processing it as such. Even when I am paying attention and listening to my body and really feeling everything as best I can, I can detect no pain whatsoever. When it gets bad I feel like I have to go to bed and maybe nap, but when I get to bed I can’t sleep - and it’s because I’m not sleepy. I’m in pain, and I feel better for lying down in a nice comfortable bed in a safe place. And when I take painkillers, I magically feel better again.

Going to the GP about this wasn’t going to work. It could be anything. All-over pain could be a neurological problem, it could be cancer, it could be anything. I knew from experience that going to the GP with no other information wouldn’t work, because the fact that I hadn’t even been feeling the daily full-body pain I was in meant that unexpected diagnostic questions would confuse me and I would probably answer “I don’t think I have that” to everything. Yay autistic masking! \o/ She would say, as GPs have been saying to me for a long time, something like “I can write you a sick note and diagnose you with chronic pain but unless we have more symptoms to go on I can’t refer you to a specialist.”

However, for a while now I had been somehow connecting with people who had EDS. I followed people on Twitter who had it and even though I didn’t on a conscious level realise that we had things in common because they had pain and I thought I didn’t, I felt a kinship. I remembered the kinship I felt with autistic people before I realised I might be autistic too, and I made the connection.

For several months I self-diagnosed with Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome (EDS). It’s a rare genetic condition that affects your collagen, which in some people is very serious. Wikipedia told me that the classical type is experienced by 1 in 20,000-50,000 people. Surely it is really weird to leap to the conclusion, out of the blue, that I have this one very specific and rare condition? It seems so improbable. But when I looked at people with EDS, their lives were so much like mine. Their coping mechanisms and management strategies that they’d come up with deliberately to deal with their EDS were so similar to the stuff I was doing by accident just to get from day to day. If I had the same symptoms and therefore the same diagnosis it would explain everything that isn’t covered by autism and being trans.

So I went into research mode. It took months. That’s how it is when you’re autistic, alexithymic, and are very bad at self-reporting. The Beighton Score part was easy because they’re bodily tests you can do yourself at home with clear results - but for the rest, sufferers of chronic illness will remember the feeling of discovery that goes, “wow, I thought everyone had that?” It was much more difficult than that for me. For every symptom, I had to fight through layers of “but I don’t have that” and “okay maybe I have that but surely not more than most people” and “but if I had this surely my mum would have done something about it when I was a kid” and “I have this but I don’t dislike it so surely that can’t be a symptom.” Because when you’re alexithymic, sometimes you kinda lack the feeling that is like, this is unpleasant, I’d rather this was better, and actually maybe that’s possible. Sometimes things that cause other people great discomfort don’t even register to you as unpleasant. Yay alexithymia.

I had to trick myself into acknowledging my symptoms. I had to compare myself to other people in a way that wasn’t dismissing my own experience, which was a very new thing for me. “I experience this, yes, but have I ever actually heard anyone else complaining about experiencing it themselves? If not, it is probably safe to assume that my experience is unusual and causing me problems, therefore relevant to a doctor.”

I had a Google Document bookmarked in my browser, with headings for each symptom of EDS. I mulled the symptoms over in the back of my head for a long time, writing down symptoms as I became sure of them. Such is my symptom-normalisation that it took months to add these to my list:

Joints dislocating (or partially dislocating) without trauma such as a fall on a regular basis;

Dizziness and passing out from movement or exercise that shouldn’t normally cause dizziness and passing out;

Stomach aches pretty much every day.

During this process, the company who provide my support decided that my care plans didn’t fit their company policy of involving the service user in their care as much as possible. They rewrote my care plans to include constant references to me doing at least part of every activity, with a view to me eventually becoming self-sufficient and no longer needing their care. I explained to them that I was discovering that I had EDS, and could they acknowledge that sometimes I just need people to do things for me so that I had more energy to be independent on my own later. They refused. They said that they would not provide support for EDS until I was diagnosed. They said, in fakey neurotypical language, that they didn’t think I had EDS. They ended our contract over it, a couple of weeks before I was due to attend my rheumatology appointment, and all of this while constantly saying that their service was person-centred. Not that I’m bitter.

A lot of people would doubt their self-diagnosis and stop trying to see a specialist at this point. But I went through similar stuff when I worked out I was autistic and people with power over me didn’t believe me, so I kept going anyway. If I saw a specialist and they told me I didn’t have EDS, at least I’d know.

I started to say openly online that I had EDS. People with EDS accepted me immediately, completely, and without question. But I knew that there were people out there who would tell me that they wouldn’t take me seriously until I was formally diagnosed, and would assume (since I blog on Tumblr) that I was just doing it to get disability points or whatever. “They say they’re nonbinary, autistic, asexual, aromantic, and now they’ve decided they have a rare genetic condition. Yeah, right. I guess their oppression points aren’t getting them enough attention. What a special snowflake.” For serious, the frequency with which I am assumed to be a teenage girl will not be at all surprising to a lot of people reading this. My reluctance to disclose my age and gender online gets me accused of teenage girlhood by TERFs and Tumblr-haters all around, especially if they know I’m on Tumblr. In reality I’m 30, mostly post-transition as openly nonbinary with the kind assistance of the NHS, and formally diagnosed with everything I say online that I have. (I do have some things that I’m not formally diagnosed with, and those are MH things that I don’t trust the NHS with for many legit reasons and I don’t talk about them online much.)

I learned that the type of specialist professional who can diagnose me is a rheumatologist. Eventually I made an appointment with my GP and printed out my symptom list document for her. It began, “if you’re reading this I think you can help me get diagnosed with and treated for Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome.” For each symptom I described the severity and how often I experience it. From my 10+ years of GP dismissal for bad periods that turned out to be endometriosis requiring a hysterectomy, I remembered the magic words: “I’d like a referral to a [specialist] please.”

My GP happily referred me to a rheumatologist at my request, and I was on their waiting list for a few months. When I eventually arrived my document of symptoms was even longer; I’d managed to clarify a few more while I was on the waiting list.

I have told you this story to show you how long I prepared for my diagnosis appointment, how much effort I put into diagnosing myself and how much I had to know to even see a specialist who could diagnose me - and to emphasise how anticlimactic getting a diagnosis actually is.

The rheumatologist was very kind. He read through my document, which took a few minutes. And then he said to me, in neurotypical language so I’m hugely paraphrasing and he did not sound this rude in real life:

“I don’t know why you’re here. You know you have EDS, you don’t need me to confirm it. You know there’s not much I can do to treat you, and you’ve had it all your life so at 30 years old you have come to terms with the symptoms and you have lots of coping mechanisms and self-management techniques.”

He was kind and listened to my concerns. Here they are in bold, along with the rheumatologist’s response.

I’m not a doctor, I can’t ever be really sure, I wanted to talk to a doctor to confirm it because maybe I have something else kinda similar or I’m just wrong. “You have most of the symptoms, and you’re well-informed. You seem to be a pretty clear case to me. What can I do to help?”

Perhaps there are treatments or services that you can help me access? “It’s mostly a case of managing it all yourself at home on your own. Try to go out for a walk every day, and don’t rely on your knee braces because your knees need to get strong enough to support themselves and knee braces won’t help with that. But you will probably always experience this cycle of crashing and having to build up your strength again very very slowly. No one else can really help you with that.”

I’d like a bit of paper to show to people who want proof of my EDS, like the DWP (who provide income for disabled people in the UK) and support companies. “The DWP don’t care about bits of paper. They ask you to do a series of exercises like lifting your arms and moving your head around.”

This last one was difficult to hear, because the DWP would indeed declare me fit for work based on their usual tests, and the only thing that gets me out of that situation is letters from medical specialists describing my symptoms. Me describing my own symptoms is not proof enough. To put it another way, me saying “I experience daily pain all over my body” is not proof to the DWP, but a doctor saying “Cassian tells me they experience daily pain all over their body” is totally strong evidence.

The fact is that the support company who ditched me should not have needed a piece of paper saying I have EDS to provide me with support that suits my needs. They were happily providing me with support for autistic difficulties despite never having seen a diagnosis letter. They should have listened to me stating my needs, and then written care plans that suit those needs. But like the DWP, a piece of paper from a doctor saying “Cassian has these symptoms” carries more weight than me saying “I have these symptoms.” It’s kinda twisted, and my diagnosing doctor didn’t know it, but that’s how it is.

So basically, this is all to tell you that people on the internet totally trash self-diagnosed people on the internet, and say “I’m not gonna believe you unless you get a formal diagnosis, you’re making people who really have these conditions look bad, please stop” - but when you actually do get to see a doctor they have no problem whatsoever with self-diagnosis and they don’t understand why anyone would seek diagnosis for a condition that they already know they have. Doctors, they know, are for working out what’s wrong with you. If you already know the name of your condition, you don’t need to talk to them. If you are successfully self-managing and don’t need treatment, you don’t need to talk to them. And as far as they are concerned, you shouldn’t need to have a diagnosis letter to have your needs recognised and respected by companies and local authorities when seeking support.

“But Cassian,” some people will say, “you are quite a special case. You’re older and more experienced than most self-dxers on Tumblr, you did a lot of research for a long time, you did everything right. It’s a spectrum, you know? Your self-diagnosis was valid, but there’s a lot of blatant fakers out there on Tumblr.” NO SHUT UP. You cannot judge people on the internet like that! You know nothing about them and their life! And even if you feel doubtful of their self-diagnosis because of the way they talk about it or whatever else superficial reason, that doesn’t mean that they are making it up! You deciding that I am legit and they are not is PURE PREJUDICE and you can take your backhanded compliments elsewhere!

So like, let’s just go over that in very clear words so you know where I stand. I understand that diagnosis and disability and mental illness are complex and nuanced issues, BUT. Self-diagnosis doesn’t magically become invalid just because you say it does, and holy crap even if teenagers on Tumblr were giving everyone else a bad name no one would know because doctors and the DWP and local authorities and anyone who has any power over us at all DON’T H*CKING USE TUMBLR and have no idea that you think teenagers are making it up for attention. All of this tug of war between “self-diagnosis is valid (✿◡‿◡)~” and “self-dxers are attention-seeking Tumblrinas that give legit sufferers a bad name” happens in a little internet bubble that the VAST MAJORITY of people are blissfully unaware of, Jeeeesus Christ on a bicycle.

Okay, thanks for listening, I’m glad to get that out of my system.

[Also posted to Medium.]

#original posts #my words #actuallyautistic #actually autistic #ehlers-danlos syndrome #EDS #EDS things #self-diagnosis

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1inawesomewonder · 4 years

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From Rochester Ice Arena, Rochester, NH – Saturday night, February 1, 2020

Two weeks removed from something resembling winter and just as long since their last hockey game, the Goffstown Grizzlies roared into the new and improved Rochester Ice Arena for a tilt with Spaulding. Goffstown showed no signs of rust on their game jumping out to a 5-1 lead after one period and skating to a 10-4 win.

Before the game started, while the hustle and bustle of getting to the rink and into a bleacher seat before the opening face-off was still clattering through the rink, there was a special presentation. One that should stop us in our tracks if we’re listening and truly present in the moment. I know it stopped me. While the words were being spoken over the PA system a lump formed in my throat as I listened and scanned my own internal memory reel for the loving faces throughout my lifetime that have battled with cancer.

(Sage Photo)

It was Pink in the Rink night at Rochester Arena and both teams paid tribute with pink tape on sticks, pink socks for the home team, and a list of players on both sides as well as who (cancer battlers) they were playing for. Buckets were passed in hopes of raising a few dollars to be donated toward the ongoing battle with this life altering disease. Last I had heard there was well over $300 raised in that small gathering on a February night at the local hockey rink.

So, the time I had discussed with my wife on our phone call before the game, regarding when to expect me home after the game was no longer accurate. We had some plans but now that didn’t matter for the moment because I was glad to be in that place at that time, just to slow down, and take the time to honor others, and remember others still.

With a nicely paved parking lot, better lighting in the rink area, an open concession stand, and a full house it was time for some hockey. Due to sickness, injuries, and coaches decisions, the Grizzlies had roughly 8 goals and 17 assists not dressed for the game on Saturday night. Regardless, it took Goffstown only 10 seconds to get on the board first. Grady Chretien scored his 60th career goal from the doorstep after Eric DesRuisseaux made a shot pass to the front of the net that was deflected by Drew O’Brien and Grady tucked the puck into the net. That goal tied him for the all-time goal scoring record in GHS Hockey history.

(Sage Photo)

He tied Dan Mercier ’02, and Noah Charron ’18, with 60 career goals. Mercier scored his 60 in two seasons, while Charron tallied his goals over four seasons, leading the team in goals scored for 3 straight years.

Over the next 10 minutes of game time both teams had numerous shots on goal and a few penalties called as well. At 4:40 of the period James Amorelli made a miraculous sprawling glove save moving to his left to keep the Grizzlies ahead. Then at 8:03 he made a wonderful pad save on Spaulding’s Colby Stuart to hold the lead. At 9:12 of the period Spaulding was called for a tripping penalty and put Goffstown on the power play. The Grizzlies cashed in when Colby Wright scored on a gorgeous play from Grady Chretien to take a 2-0 lead. Less than half a minute later, Grady Chretien made more history when he buried his 61st career goal on a set up from Drew O’Brien, and it was 3-0. Spaulding kept skating hard and creating chances. They were rewarded with a goal at 11:18 when Nate Gagnon scored from Hunter Camire to cut the lead to 3-1. Goffstown scored a pair of backbreaking goals in the final minute of the period to really open up the lead. First, at 14:26, Jack Wilkinson scored from Luke Ouellette on a nice play.

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Then, at 14:55, Drew O’Brien scored on a pass from Grady Chretien to make it 5-1 to end the period. Both teams had 19 shots on goal in the period. Amorelli made 18 saves, while Matt Lacey made 14 saves.

In the second period, Goffstown picked up where they left off, scoring three more goals and allowing just one. Chretien scored his 3rd goal of the game on a feed from Gamache at 6:11 of the period. Matt Lacey was pulled from the net after the goal, and #30 came in to play goal for the rest of the game for Spaulding. A few minutes later, Gamache scored on a shorthanded bid set up by Drew O’Brien at 8:27 to bring Goffstown’s lead up to 7-1. Spaulding got one goal back at 9:07 when Colby Stuart scored a goal assisted by Ryan Hatfield. Then, at 10:51 of the period O’Brien scored a goal on a pass from Gamache. Goffstown led 8-2 on the scoreboard after two periods even though Spaulding had the edge in shots at 31-28.

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The third period featured running time which is probably one of my least favorite rules in high school hockey. I am all for sportsmanship and also for competition, but this rule makes a mockery of the game at the high school level. Somewhat related, I can remember losing high school basketball games by more than 50 points a few times, and all that did to me was motivate me. Nobody had to soften the rules for me or my team, we just needed to execute better and improve if we wanted a less lopsided result.

Anyways, for the second half of this game Goffstown had scaled back the number of shifts that the top line was getting as a group. But then sometimes, everything goes your way, and that’s how it was for Grady Chretien. He only skated a couple of shifts in the third period and he had both Goffstown goals. The puck found him, and he found the net. At 4:20 of the period he scored on a sweet set up from Theo Milianes and Colby Gamache. Then at 9:40 he scored his fifth goal of the night on a power play set up from Drew O’Brien and Bograd. Spaulding did strike for a pair of goals in the period, both being scored by Adam Enscoe.

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First, Enscoe scored an unassisted goal at 5:05. Then on the power play, Enscoe scored from Hunter Camire and Nate Gagnon at 11:00. The game would end with a 10-4 final score. Spaulding did pile up 42 shots on James Amorelli who turned away 38 of them. Goffstown amassed 32 shots and had the better quality chances overall.

Goffstown improved to 9-2 in the season standings which moved them into first place as Keene and Merrimack both lost in the last week. The Grizzlies travel to the old barn in Wolfeboro to play an always tough opponent, Kingswood on Wednesday night, February 5th. Here are the standings in D-II through last night.

Standings: Boys Ice Hockey Division II

NOTE: The following are not official NHIAA standings. They are only the accumulation of game results as reported by the athletic directors and coaches.

Click here to view the schedules for all of the teams below.

School W L T Points Rating Goffstown 9 2 0 36.00 3.2727 Merrimack 7 2 0 28.00 3.1111 Keene 6 2 1 26.00 2.8889 St. Thomas Aquinas 7 3 1 30.00 2.7273 Oyster River 7 3 1 30.00 2.7273 Dover 6 4 0 24.00 2.4000 Somersworth-Coe-Brown 5 4 1 22.00 2.2000 Kingswood 4 4 0 16.00 2.0000 Portsmouth-Newmarket 4 5 0 16.00 1.7778 Winnacunnet 3 8 0 12.00 1.0909 Lebanon-Stevens-Mount Royal 2 6 0 8.00 1.0000 Alvirne-Milford 2 10 0 8.00 0.6667 Spaulding 2 11 0 8.00 0.6154

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The beginning of every article. (C) 1inawesomewonder 2017.

The thoughts and opinions expressed here are those of the individual contributors, mostly mine, and do not necessarily reflect the views of the schools, coaches, players, or characters listed in any of these blog posts. Or, maybe they do, but you would have to ask them directly. Either way, “It’s a great day for hockey” ~ the late “Badger” Bob Johnson.

Hockey: Goffstown 10 @ Spaulding 4 From Rochester Ice Arena, Rochester, NH - Saturday night, February 1, 2020 Two weeks removed from something resembling winter and just as long since their last hockey game, the Goffstown Grizzlies roared into the new and improved Rochester Ice Arena for a tilt with Spaulding.

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nealtv8 · 3 years

Video

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This is a 25-minute video showing all 80 route tasks that you can find in Cane Creek route for Train Sim World 2. The route tasks has new additions since this is a Skyhook Games route, there is Point of Interest Information Boards, Spiking Hammers, High Vis Vests, and Water Refill Stations. Collecting started from Potash to Thompson. I had took the "Mine to Mainline" free roam scenario so that I can drive light which stopping easily can come into effect noting which you would need to be stopping frequently. Maybe taking a service on winter clear can be recommend as well in order to easily see the small items if you have trouble collecting them. There is supposed to be 20 each to collect but I don't know what happened to the vests and hammers being miscounted, I still got the achievement anyway as the game counted to 80. Information about the route task items: -Point of Interest Information Boards are kind of much like route maps. They are a wooden structure with a white board. It will show a picture of the Corona Arch with it saying "Freight Information Board" in the middle as well as the description about on where it is as it being collected as it is being upon walked to. -Water Refill Stations appears to be usually have two dispensers which they would look clean. It is different per location. It will say "Cane Creek Water" on the dispenser. When walking into one of them will fill up them with water on of of the dispensers on the station -Spiking hammers appears as a hammer on a stick. These can be the hardest item to find on the route as it was very hard to spot them. Once collected, it will disappear. There is only 19 that you can find on the route. Also, It is now the hardest collectible to get from any route in Train Sim World history followed by No Trespassing Signs. -High Vis Vests appears as a orange/white reflective vest and just like Spiking Hammers, they will disappear once being walked on and also one of the hardest to spot on the route as well. There are 21 of these to collect so thankfully Skyhook did placed another one to make up for that 20th hammer. By far, this video took me over 3 hours to record everything, I had to reverse my train a couple of times due to lack of knowing on where these vests and hammers were. Thanks for watching and if you find it useful then please give it a like and share on who is having trouble finding them. There is a Steam guide which is by chrisvazquez7 where they shown all the route tasks are if you do prefer written version of this. https://bit.ly/3ebbLRi TIMESTAMPS: 0:00 Potash 2:18 Long Canyon 2:59 Jug Handle Arch 3:38 Gold Bar Canyon 4:34 Corona Arch 6:11 Moab 7:54 Gemini 9:00 Seven Mile Canyon 9:54 Cotter Mine Road 10:38 Bartlett Wash 11:33 Canyonlands Field Airport 12:33 Cooper Ridge 14:34 County Road 94 16:37 Brendel 21:46 Thompson Social: Twitch: https://bit.ly/35N8IHF Non-Gaming Channel: https://www.youtube.com/c/2nealfire Twitch VOD Channel: hyperurl.co/yg8i18 Discord Server: https://bit.ly/2QcI4Ty Imgur: http://bit.ly/2ckec28 Facebook: http://bit.ly/2bPiBMt Twitter: http://bit.ly/2cpGHfa Instagram: http://bit.ly/2c66vRn Steam Profile: http://bit.ly/2bWgCD8 Steam Group: http://bit.ly/2bVD1lw Support: Patreon: https://bit.ly/2m3POFY Green Man Gaming: http://bit.ly/2cqrL3k Fanatical: https://bit.ly/33YQmWH Humble: https://bit.ly/2DPdgTs Donate/Tip: https://bit.ly/2TNoG29 Anonymous Donate/Tip: https://bit.ly/2GhjeN8 Download TubeBuddy: https://bit.ly/2Z0MLVQ Main PC Specs: CPU: AMD Ryzen 9 3900X 3.8GHz, Dozen-Core CPU Cooler: Noctua NH-D15 Motherboard: MSI B450 Gaming Pro Carbon AC (AM4 ATX) RAM: G.SKILL TridentZ 32GB (4 x 8GB) DDR4-3200MHz SSD: Western Digital Black SN750 1TB HDD1: Seagate Barracuda 3TB 7200RPM HDD2: Western Digital Black 2TB 7200RPM HDD3: Western Digital Blue 4TB 5400RPM HDD4: Western Digital Black 6TB Case: Thermaltake View 71 GPU: EVGA GeForce RTX 2080 XC2 Ultra ICX2 (8GB GDDR6) PSU: EVGA Supernova 850 G5, 80+ Gold Case Fans: 5x Deepcool RF120M Encoding PC Specs: CPU: AMD Ryzen 7 1800X 3.6GHz, Octa-Core CPU Cooler: Corsair H100i V2 Motherboard: ASUS ROG STRIX B450-F GAMING (AM4 ATX) RAM: G.SKILL TridentZ 32GB (2 x 16GB) DDR4-3200MHz (2666MHz due to 1800X) HDD1: Western Digital Blue 2TB 5400RPM HDD2: Seagate Barracuda 500GB 7200RPM HDD3: Seagate Barracuda 4TB 5900RPM SSD1: Western Digital Black PCIe 256GB SSD2: Samsung 840 EVO 500GB GPU: EVGA GeForce GTX 1070 SC ACX 3.0 Black Edition (8GB GDDR5) Case: Thermaltake View 31 PSU: Corsair RM750x, 80+ Gold Case Fans: 5x Deepcool RF120M

#IFTTT #YouTube

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