#this took so long i'm literally in tears at how ugly it is

[luvyeni]

Hellow. I was wondering if you can write this silly thing in my mind, Jay with a Chubby girlfriend, he's experienced and basically all the college girls recognize him as a sex God until he met her, she's virgin and insecure, like it actually took Jay a long time to gain her trust because she was thinking that it was impossible someone so popular and handsome like him liked some like her.

Here's my plot: all the girls have been talking about her and how fat and ugly she's making her even more insecure to the point that she push away Jay when he touched her like he usually does even just holding hands, especially when he holds her waist. But he's so in love with her that he just adores every single inch of her, reassuring her that no one is as beautiful as her, so he just kiss every inch of her making her first time so special and full of love and tears because I'm a cry insecure baby

Sorry for the long ask, literally i dreamed about this 🥺

FOREVER AND ALWAYS; PARK JEONGSEONG

pairings. boyfriend!jeongseong x fem!reader

wc. 1.9k

warnings. talks of weight, fatshaming, insecurities, oral (f. reader), unprotected sex, overstimulation, reader cries.

i hope it's like you dreamed💓! the bullying kind of made me sad since im a big girly myself, so i didn't add too much.

after finding out people have been saying horrible things about you, he's determined to show you how much he loves you.

—

"she's so shameless, if i was that fat i wouldn't wear such things." you frowned, looking down at the message wishing jay would hurry up. "yeah, jay is such a cute guy, he could get anyone he wants, i don't understand why he would date someone like her."

"it's probably a joke, it has to be."

you could hear them laughing at you , and they knew you could hear them. they knew because it was something you heard on a daily occurrence by people just like them.

"baby." jay ran over to you, kissing your cheek, noticing how you moved your face, but deciding to ignore it. "hey jay." the girls giggled flirtatiously. "hi." he turned back to smiling.

"my class got held up, im sorry, you ready to go home?" he went to grab your hand, something he always did when you'd walked back to your shared apartment near campus, so you could imagine his surprise when you brushed it away. "yeah, let's go."

jay was confused, it's been a while since you avoided his affection. when you started dated, jay had a reputation , that forbid you to trust him , being really standoffish , jay was much more experienced than you , actually you had no experience due to your insecurities. jay was aware of this , so he actually took the time to get to know you , and form a relationship with you , a year later and he didn't even care that you haven't had sex , he just wants to be around you all the time.

"let's stop and get some food to take home." he pointed to your favorite store. "i'm not hungry." jay was serious when it came to food though. "well then put in the fridge and eat it later, let's just get it now." he held the door open, letting you walk in.

"do you want the regular?" he stood behind you, his arm wrapping around your waist, kissing you lovingly. you felt eyes on you, and the chuckles, pushing his arm away. "get whatever jay." you went to go wait by the door, you didn't mean to sound so rude, but you really just wanted to go home.

jay couldn't even ask you what was wrong because he was next in line, and you had already put your headphone on, spaced out.

you walked the rest of the way in silence, headphones on as you finally made it to your apartment, taking your shoes off , making your way to your room, undressing out of your day clothes.

"wait, are we just not gonna talk about it." jay followed behind. "what are you talking about?" you searched through the drawer in your underwear and a tank top, looking for a pair of sweats.

"you've been acting weird the entire walk home, you've avoided my affection multiple times, you keep looking around to see if people are looking, what is it? what's wrong." you turned to him. "why are you still here?" he took a step back. "what."

"you can have anybody you want, there are girls lining up to have sex with you, they do it right in front of me so know, why are you here? what do you want from me? am i just a joke that you're stringing along for a laugh with your friends?" jay was stunned, even on your worst days, you've never snapped at him, and he could tell you didn't mean it either cause of the widening of your eyes.

"im so sorry, i didn't mean it." he was silent, just pulling you into a hug. "i'm sorry." he rubbed up and down your back. "it's okay." he whispered. "i know you didn't mean it." he could feel your shoulders shaking as you sniffled into his neck, your tears warm. "they're so mean." jay finally got what was bothering you , and he was pissed. how dare they make you feel like this, after everything he's done to make you feel secure, how dare they treat you like this.

"listen to me, there is no one as beautiful as you are, you understand me?" he looked at you with a serious face. "i don't want anyone else but you, and i will spend as long as i need to, to prove it to you love." he held your cheek in his hand, wiping the tears. "i love you okay?" you sniffled, nodding. "i love you too."

he kissed the apples of your cheeks. "my fools made my pretty baby feel bad about herself, they'll pay for this i swear." he kissed your lips. "my baby doesn't see how beautiful she is, but i do, she is the most beautiful person in the whole world." he kissed your neck. "i just love her so much." he said in between kissed. "j..jay." he shushed you. "let me show you baby just how beautiful i think you are." he backed you up against the bed, pushing you down softly.

"so so pretty." he climbed on top of you, continuing his assault on your neck. "j..jay, feels so good." you moaned. "yeah? does it?" he kissed down to your chest. "im gonna make you feel so good princess." his hand came up to grope your tits. "been waiting so long to feel these in my hand baby, so soft." you're back arched off the bed at the sensation. "so sensitive."

"t..they're too big." he lifted your shirt off your body, going back to squeezing them. "they're fucking perfect baby, i can't wait to fuck them, paint them with my cum." he licked a nipple. "jay f..fuck." you sighed, as he licked and sucked on your nipples, showing them each the same amount of love and affection, before he continued down to your tummy.

"your pretty tummy, love to touch. " his kisses were hot on your stomach. "made me feel really bad earlier, my pretty baby wouldn't let me touch her pretty tummy like i always do, it's my favorite thing, but she denied me." he was getting dangerously close to your underwear. "m..m'sorry." he gave your stomach one more kiss. "i know baby, you're gonna repay me by letting me eat your pretty pussy aren't you?" his words made your hips involuntarily buck up.

"y..yes." he slowly slid your panties down your legs, kissing up your legs, until he was face to face with your heat. "s.stop staring." you tried to close your legs, but he held them open. "sorry love, i can't help it, you're so pretty, everything about you is so pretty." he kissed the inside of your thighs. "i really want you to sit on my face." you whined, he looked up at you. "not right now." he nodded. "okay princess we don't have to, it's all about you." he gave your thighs a few more kisses, you could feel his breathing on your heat.

"jay please." you mewled trying to move your hips. "do something." he kissed your thighs one more time, before giving your cunt a surprise lick. "jay." your hands gripped the bedsheet. "taste so good baby." he gave your cunt a few kitten licks before eating you out like a starved man.

you've never felt something like this, the way he would switch between long stripes up your wet cunt, to little kitten licks, it had your head spinning. one particular lick had you grabbing his hair, grinding your cunt against his face. he moaned right into your heat, allowing you to use him to get yourself off.

"jay i feel- shit it feels so good." he could feel you gripping his hair a little harder, you about to cum. "go a head and cum pretty girl." you felt something build up in your abdomen, then snap. "im cumming!" jay continued licking your mess, riding out your high, until he felt your hips jerk from overstimulation. "j..jay."

"okay princess im done." he gave your clit one more kiss, before coming up, his lips glossed from your essence and spit. "you taste so good, i couldn't help it." his hand came down to his crotch, palming his hard on. "jay- we don't have to do anything right now, i just wanted to show you how much i love you."

you ignored him, replacing his hand with yours, rubbing him. "i want to, i'm ready." he groaned, hips bucking into your touch. "fuck- fine princess, i'll be gentle i swear." you trusted jay, you knew he wouldn't harm you. "i know you will." he climbed off of you, getting rid of all his clothes.

you never seen a cock before beside the videos, but his was probably the prettiest you've ever seen, he wasn't intimidatingly big; thick enough to make you feel good, veins decorated the sides all the way up to his dark red tip that had precum bubbling at the top, it made your mouth water.

"princess why are you staring so much?" he smirked, his thumb coming up to rub your clit. "p..pretty." he chuckled. "thank you love." he teased your hole with a finger. "so wet princess." he slowly slid his finger in. "gotta stretch you out a bit pretty, so it won't hurt as much." he slowly fingered you before pulling out.

"you ready beautiful?" you nodded. "please put it in jay." he bent down, kissing your lips, distracting you as he slowly pushed himself inside your hole. "j..jay." you moaned in pain and pleasure at the stretch. "i know love, i know." he slowly bottomed out inside you, letting out a low moan as you successfully took him hole. "pretty girl, you took all of me."

you were so tight, the way you clenched around him so tightly he knew he wasn't gonna last long, it had been a year since he had sex with anyone, forced to use his hand. "fuck baby, if i don't move now, im gonna cum just from your pretty pussing clenching around me." you moaned. "y..you can move." he pulled out, pushing himself inside you all at once this time. "f..fuck jay!" he began to thrust himself in and out of you.

"shit! princess you're so tight, so fucking wet."

his eyes were glued to your tits, the way they bounced along with every thrust. "so pretty baby, you're so fucking pretty— shit- i hate when you talk bad about yourself." you were a moaning mess. "you're so beautiful, you mean so much to me, you understand me." you nodded, but jay wanted to hear you.

"i said do *thrust* you *thrust* under *thrust* stand *thrust* me?" you felt the build up in your abdomen. "i..i understand." he kissed your lips. "i love you so much, don't forget that." you couldn't understand why, but you started to cry. "i..i love you too." he kissed your cheeks. "j..jay i'm gonna cum." he reached in between your bodies rubbing your clit. "cum for me pretty, go a head." you were a crying fucked out mess as you came on his cock. "shit!" he pulled out, fisting his cock before spilling all over your abused twitching hole.

you were still crying, overwhelmed by everything, jay pulled you into a hug, not caring about the sweat, or the smell of sex in the air, he only cared about you. "it's okay love, im right here." he rocked your body. "let it out."

he let you get yourself together before he helped you clean up, bringing you back to the bed. "don't go." he smiled, caressing your face. "i'll be right back." he said exiting the room. he returned back with the food you bought. "let's just eat in here tonight, i'll clean everything else later." you smiled as your boyfriend set everything up. "what is it?" he laughed. "i just love you so much." he kissed your lips, pulling away smiling.

"i told you, i'll always be here for you, i love you too, forever and always."

©️LUVYENI

#kpop x reader #kpop smut #enhypen headcanons #enhypen scenarios #enhypen smut #enhypen x reader #enhypen hard thoughts #enhypen hard hours #enhypen imagines #jay x reader #jay hard thoughts #jay hard hours #jay smut

[bebe-writes-stuff]

Damn, you felt sore. Almost every part of your body ached. Last thing you remembered was, you were behind the school because you've received a note to meet someone there, just like the many you got like every other week. It's always the same corny love confession, and you always respond with the same answer,

"Oh, I already have a lover. Thanks for the thought though." You say and walk away.

But this time, it was something you never would've expected. It was a girl this time but that wasn't the new part, you've had even girls confess to you. It was she started talking about,

"You just think you can do whatever you fucking want just because you're pretty." She said in a spiteful tone,

You grimaced knowing what type of girl she already was. She was a bitch, not the good kind. She was green with envy of any girl who tried to outshine her. You snickered,

"You think I'm pretty, why thank you <3." You dropped the smug remark, rolling your eyes playfully.

You started walking away, not wanting to waste your time with some girl who has nothing to do then shit on other women who are living their lives. Jealousy really is a disease, and an ugly one. But suddenly you stopped in your tracks when she shouted,

"YOU THINK YOU COULD JUST STEAL HIM AWAY FROM ME, YOU BITCH!"

Turning to her, annoyance bubbling up inside you as you spat back at her,

"What the hell are you talking about, steal who?

"HARUKI SENPAI, YOU SEDUCED HIM!"

She saw your furrowed eyebrow and crooked smile, before you burst out laughing, hugging your stomach,

"PFFT, BAHAHA! OH MY GOSH, REALLY!? THAT UGLY GUY CONFESSED TO ME."

Taking a deep breath before wiping the small tears in the corners of your eyes,

"Okay, so you're yelling at me because your man-wait no- CRUSH asked me out. Sounds like you should keep him in check rather than attacking me. You know, that's a really bitchy move. There's a special place in hell for insecure hoes like you who put down other women."

You felt bad for her, she was trying so hard for this guy's attention to the point of coming at other girls. That's so...pathetic. You saw how her malice expression faded into a sadistic smile, then you caught the sound of a twig snapping behind you. You gasped at the realization, turning halfway when you felt the sharp pain in the side of your head. One of her friends had snuck up on you then at the moment you put your guard down, she struck you with a metal pipe.

RIP my man...Shinichiro

You weren't sure how long you've been knocked out for, but once you woke up it was night time. And you were met with two afros you were oh-too-familiar with.

"Hey Souya, it's alright. She's opening her eyes, there's no need to cry." His older brother, Nahoya, tried to comfort him.

Souya hasn't stopped crying ever since they got the first glance of your almost lifeless body on the floor. He never ran so fast to check up on somebody, pulling you into his arms and light shaking you to wake up. Begging you to.

"Hey Soso, baby, you're kinda squeezing the life out of my ass right now." You managed to gasp out,

He quickly let you go but both of his hand were still on your shoulder,

"Who...who did this Y/n. I'll fucking kill-" He started, his voice dripped with malice and rage.

Tears were running down his face, Nahoya had warned you about Angry's tears. No matter what, don't make him cry. You cupped his face, catching him off guard. You took a good look at him before gently wiping his tears away and leaning in and kissing his wet cheeks, You giggled a little at the small blush that became visible on his now hot cheeks. He was such a kind soul. He was one of the rare people who truly had a good heart. You weren't sure how hard you fell for him until now.

"Why are you crying dummy, I am literally right here in your arms."

You feel relieved once you see his tears stop running like a speeding river. You continued by kissing his hands,

"I told you before, your tears are precious to me, baby. Mm, I love you so much." You whispered, your voice sugarcoated as you pulled him into your arms, holding him lovingly.

He sniffed and struggled to talk because of his constant gasps,

"Shh, it's gonna be alright. Just listen to my voice. Take a deep breath, angel. Yeah, that's it. Are you calm now?" You whispered near his ear, rubbing his back and gently caressed his hair.

He nodded,

"I-I tried, I really did! But you were hurt and bleeding!"

"I know, baby. I know, and it's okay. I'd never ever blame you, love. Also c'mon, I bleed like every month. I think I can handle this." You joked,

You heard his muffled laugh when he had his face rested in the crook of your neck.

You were too focused on Souya, notice the way Nahoya took the hint and left you two to the comfort of your own presence.

...

The walk home to patch you up was sweet. Souya offered (demanded) to carry you all the way to your house. It was relaxing, he smelled nice, and he was warm. You wrapped your arms around his neck getting more comfortable when you pulled him closer resting your head on his shoulder.

"Souyaaaaaaa, I love youuuu. You're so sweet and make me so happy." You whispered, dragging out some of your words.

He was glad you weren't looking at him. You would tease the freak out of him if you saw the way he blushed hard at your harmonious voice. You raised your head, facing him. You snicker at his flushed face,

"You're so cute when you blush." You purr, biting your lower lip a little.

You moved your face closer to his, brushing your lips against his. It was a deep and affectionate kiss. You lost yourself in his warmth, treasuring the sensual moment. Pulling away to take a shaky breath. You sunk back into his arms, a smile tugged on your swollen lips, and let your eyes rest, getting sleepy.

After a moment you heard a small chuckle. You open one of your eyes, staring up at him,

"Hmm, what's up?

"I just remember talking with my brother about something."

"Oooh, tell me! Tell me!"

"He said you were a lot like a tootsie pop."

"The sucker. pfft-why?"

"You always act so tough on the outside but you're really such a softie."

You got flustered and a tad bit angry,

"dammit Nahoya, I'll shove my foot up your ass next time I see."

Ate a whole bag of tootsie pops while writing this

#tokyo revengers #tokrev #tokyorev #souya x reader #souya x y/n #souya x you #souya kawata #souya smut #angry x you #angry x y/n #angry x reader #tokyo revengers souya #souya tokyo revengers #souya tokrev #angry smut #tokrev smut #tokyo revengers smut #tr smut #tokyo revengers x reader #tr x reader #nahoya smut #kawata twins #nahoya x reader #souya kawata smut #kawata souya #angry #souya fluff #souya imagines #tokrev souya #tokyo revengers fluff

[rafecameronsgun]

Rafe bullies you since 9th grade,but he never took it far until now. Its your last year of school. He literally destroyed ur school days. For example when he locked you in the dressing room before PE,or when he grabbed your tits in front of everyone and told you to wear push up-bras.He made you anxious, not being able to look at anyone because they all just laugh at you and think you are ridiculous because of all the gossip Rafe told them about you.

You and Rafe both got kicked off Mrs Grace’s math lesson because of arguing and making a show.

DARK!Rafe

-Why can't you finally get off of me?-the sea of ​​emotions burst out of you when you both stepped out into the corridor.

Rafe makes a bored face at your whining and then grabs your hand and drags you to the empty dining hall not far from the abandoned classroom.

- Listen to me! - he pushes you and you fall to the ground. His middle parted hair hangs loosely in his eyes as he bends down to talk to you.

-You are nothing, just an ugly bitch with whom I can play as I please, take everything I do to you or try to fight back and see what happens.

You push yourself up on the ground into a sitting position. You close your eyes and speak with a trembling voice.

-What do I have to do for you to finally leave me alone?

Rafe laughs.

-Oh, I don't think there's anything you can do to make me leave you alone. Your pathetic existence revolves around people like me and I'm just bored to play with you for as long as I want.

You place yourself on your knee and it is extremely pathetic that you are about to beg for him.

- Please, please, I can't go home one more time and cry myself to sleep because you embarrass me all day! I leave school every morning with anxiety, I don't want to spend the last year of school like this!

Rafe laughs loudly at your dramatic speech and his blue eyes darken as he unbuttons his khaki pants with a dark smirk.

- If you suck me well enough, maybe I'll let go of you.

You swallow and even though you knew that Rafe Cameron is evil incarnate, that he can do anything just to have power over someone, but you didn't think that he could really go that far. Since you're already on your knees, you don't have much to do except to take his huge cock.

Desire and passion tower in dark colors in his beautiful blue eyes. He smooths your hair back with his big, strong hands and grabs it in a ponytail.

- Do what I asked, you dirty Pogue!

You close your eyes and force yourself to move forward. You've never done this to anyone before, so you're disgusted by the strange smell that hits your nose. You open your mouth as if you're about to eat and take the red tip first. You taste it, suck it, which makes Rafe moan quietly.

-Enough teasing, now suck it!-he grits between his teeth

You push your mouth forward, only until it is not uncomfortable. When you feel him filling your mouth completely, you pull back a little, but Rafe grabs your hair and pulls your head back to look up at him.

- You are not pleasing yourself,you are pleasing me!

And with one movement he swings his hips forward and pushes his cock down your throat and when tears start to form in your eyes, he stops. For another 5 seconds

he won't let you go until the first tear rolls down your face and then he' pulls it out.

He groans and tugs at your hair, pulling you up from the ground.

-You're an useless little bitch-he hisses as he presses your face against one of the dining tables. He pulls off your short skirt along with your panties and spreads your legs with his knees. One of his hands firmly presses your face to the table and the other lands on your ass with a loud snap. You shudder and shiver from the sudden impact. Then he do it again and again. You feel awfully pathetic for enjoying this, your pussy wet. You moan loud from the last slap, because it hits your pussy straight. Rafe laughs darkly and with a sudden movement he enters your body. You grunt and youre glad that he doesn't see how my eyes roll 360 degrees.

-Damn it!-he giggles as he begins to pick up a rhythm. Your legs are so far apart that you can't even close because of Rafe's body pressing into your cunt, his dick touches that certain sweet spot in you. You scream, your walls tighten around him and his fingers gently start to play with your clit to please you even more.

-Rafe!-you gasp-I can't take it...too much!-you almost cry from the excessive dose of released endorphins and dopamine.

-ENOUGH!

Rafe smirks and thrusts all the way in, not moving his hips as his dick is fully inside you,filling you.His hand starts to circle your clit faster, until your legs are shaking. Now you're really crying and you can't hold it in any longer, you're moaning around his dick accompanied by a huge scream.

-Take it, take it, you little whore...-Rafe groans as he chases his orgasm. After a few seconds, he pulls it out and squirts it on your lower back. The hot liquid flows down your ass. He slaps both of your ass cheeks one last time and pulls up his pants. His cum drying on your skin as you are still here,trying to catch your breath.

-You're a filthy pogue slut, don't expect me to give the luxury of respecting you. - he says in a hoarse voice.

Before I can react, the principal's voice comes from the school radio.

-Mr. Cameron and Mrs. (your name) come to the office immediately!

Oh, what trouble you've gotten yourself into!

@rafescokewhore @rafeandonlyrafe @rafeinterlude @sadfury @drewsbebe @starkeyisthelastname @urfavcameron

@xxbutdaddyilovehimxx

#outer banks #rafe cameron #smut #outerbanks #rafe cameron obx #rafe cameron smut #school #school bullying #school romance #fuuuck

[blondeboyfriend]

𝐂𝐀𝐔𝐆𝐇𝐓 (𝟏𝟖+)

𝐌𝐈𝐍𝐎𝐑𝐒 𝐃𝐍𝐈

[ PAIRING ] Zeke Yeager x f!reader [ AUTHOR'S NOTE ] Another remastered oldie. No cute banner this time because I'm lazy. [ SYNOPSIS ] Your slutty boyfriend convinces you to fuck in a nasty bar bathroom. [ WORD COUNT ] 2.9k [ CONTENT ] Modern AU, established relationship, dom/sub undertones, sadomasochism, exhibitionism, public sex, rough oral sex, degradation (Zeke calls you a slut, says you're dumb), cum eating, drugs (marijuana), alcohol, Zeke's pullout game is mid tbh, and there's Neopets nostalgia.

Any establishment that opted to have red lighting as an aesthetic choice never failed to put you on guard. There was nothing quite like a wannabe speakeasy to set the mood. You had sad men hiding in corners. Sad men waiting for cute girls to talk to them. Sad men who hoped their presence in a trendy, gaudy bar with old guns hung on the walls made them interesting.

You and Zeke passed by it one cold morning and you mentioned how tacky you thought those kinds of places were. You said you wanted to go ironically. And of course called your bluff and decided your next date night would occur there. You reluctantly agreed. Denying him was a near impossible task.

You were the first at the bar, a disappointment because you wanted to have some form of comfort greet you. But no, Zeke was late as always.

He was probably at home, sitting on his ugly couch, smoking his ugly weed. His perfect body laid out next to an ugly ashtray overflowing with ugly cigarette butts, watching old Jerry Springer episodes on Youtube.

There was no other place you’d rather be. You wanted to be sprawled out on top of him, your head on his chest as he dithered about class disparity in the United States.

We can laugh at Beau and Cletus all we want, but look at us. I pay for high-speed internet so I can watch this shit unfettered and make fun of their shoes. You just complained about two-day shipping not being fast enough. And you ordered, what, loose leaf chamomile tea? We’re just as embarrassing as them, maybe even more so. The difference is that we have disposable income.

On second thought maybe you were better off languishing in a faux speakeasy. The ground may have been sticky underneath your shoes, but at least you didn’t have Zeke blabbering in your ear.

“Miss me?” Zeke purred in your ear before.

“Nope, I’ve been too busy.”

“Do you expect me to believe that?”

“Yeah. I got caught up feeding my Neopet… Or if that’s not an acceptable answer, I can say I was sleeping with your dad. You choose.”

“Neopet. I like knowing you care about things.”

“Did you know they never die?”

You order a round of Cuba Libres.

“I don’t like rum,” Zeke whined.

You shoved the drink in his hand and stole a handful of cut limes from the little container behind the bar.

“Really?” he asked bluntly.

“They never put enough. Trust me. Anyway, that little green Mynci you made in 2001 is sitting there. Literally starving! Zeke.” You grabbed his wrist. “That is verbatim what it says on the website. Starving.” You plopped two slices of lime in his drink.

He stared at you, his grey eyes full of concern. He was high off his ass. “She was yellow.”

“What was her name?”

“I can’t remember, but I know it had like six numbers and probably three underscores.”

“Do you miss her?”

“Every fucking day.”

Laughter overtook both of you. You grabbed a table closest to the exit and he slid his backpack under it. You figured he didn’t want to linger long as well. The chairs were freezing. You shifted in your seat. The cold didn’t help your sore ass. Zeke took notice of this.

“I told you I was paddling you too hard.” He took a tiny sip of his drink.

“I still stand by that you weren’t hard enough.”

“You were crying, pet.”

“They were tears of happiness. You know, like when people win a Golden Globe or whatever.”

“No one gets that excited over a Golden Globe.”

You slumped down into your chair. You had no witty retort. This happened more often than not when he was around. In just about every other social situation you were the paragon of humor, a true queen of comedy.

“Aww, did I hit a nerve?” He kicked your shin from under the table. The pain perked you up. You proceeded to stomp on his foot eliciting an audible wince from him.

“How long are you trying to stay here?” you asked, hoping he’d say something like zero seconds or if I stay here any longer I’ll turn into sand.

“Long enough to have sex in what I am assuming is a gross bathroom.”

“You’re just saying that because you’re high, right? You can’t—This place is gross.”

“I had this planned from the beginning.” He leaned back in his chair. “It shouldn’t be too gross. This hellhole hasn’t been open that long.”

“My feet stick to the—”

“That’s character.” He leaned forward over the table, yanking you by the collar of your shirt so you were inches away from his face. “It makes for an interesting experience.”

You let out a nervous laugh, desperately fighting off the beginnings of arousal. The gross old men leered.

“Ugh. Fine. But I wanna be high too,” you complained.

He glanced at the growing pod of old men. “Let’s hit the bathroom.”

He got up, leaving his unfinished drink behind. It prompted you to do the same. They weren’t that impressive. You walked down the hall turning corners until you saw a sign for a bathroom. Zeke kicked in the door and shoved his head inside.

“I’m pretty sure no one is in here. And look, there are even stalls.”

He made his way over to one and tried to lock its door.

“Well that’s broken.”

He repeated this process on the remaining two stalls. None of them had working locks.

You looked around. “This is—”

“An even better opportunity than I could have imagined.”

You were speechless. You knew he was a borderline insatiable tramp, but this was a lot. You were conflicted. On one hand, getting railed by him always sounded like a good time. But on the other, getting potentially caught by one of those decaying dinosaurs sounded like torture. And you hadn’t committed any crimes bearing that level of punishment.

“But those guys are so weird looking,” you whined like a child.

“Who cares?”

“I care. It’d be one thing if they were like your hot friends…”

“You can’t say that and not specify which ones. It’s illegal. You and I both know that.”

“Fuck… Pieck, duh. Or Colt.”

“Oh god. Really?... Colt?” he sounded vaguely disgusted.

“Fuck you! Yeah, really Colt. It’d be a learning experience for him.”

“I wouldn’t let him join in.”

You smirked. “You say that now, but in the moment the tides may change.” You punctuated the sentence with a wink.

“Alright, you might have a point with the Colt thing. But I’m disappointed Reiner didn’t come up.”

“You know you can just say who you would want to catch us? Like my answers aren’t the end-all-be-all.”

You went to join him in the decrepit stall. You hugged his toned body and buried your face into the crook of his neck. His hands went straight to your ass, typical.

“Reiner, because I know it’d fuck with him,” he yammered on. “Or what’s that one guy’s name? The one that hangs out with my brother?”

“So many people hang out with your brother. You really want a 19-year-old catching us?”

“Hush. I’m thinking. Blonde. Blue eyes.” He paused. “Also Colt’s 19, dumb ass.”

“Colt doesn’t count!! Are you thinking of Historia?”

“What?! No.”

Zeke broke the hug and rubbed his temples. “It’s a boy. He is a boy.”

“Well, more like a man.”

“You’re not helping. Blonde. Blue eyes. He’s a,” Zeke paused for emphasis, “man.”

“I think that’s Armi—”

He barreled through your sentence. “Armin! Yes, him. It’d fuck him up too. He’s like an angel; we’d be stripping him of all innocence.”

“Dude, I’m pretty sure a cute, 19-year-old college boy is getting at least some form of action. We all know who the right option is.”

“Alright, fuck it. Fine. Colt. Are you happy?”

“Yes.”

“Pervert,” he mumbled.

“Like you have room to talk.”

You grazed his cock with your hand. He smirked and pulled a joint from his pack of cigarettes. He held it between his lips and sparked it.

“I see you’re not concerned about getting caught.” He took a hit and then passed it to you.

You took a heavy drag off the joint. “I’m already going to get loudly fucked in a bathroom. I might as be high.”

You passed the joint back to him and he took a lengthy hit. He let the smoke drift from his mouth slowly. You plucked the joint from his fingers.

“I recommend taking another. A long one.”

“Why?” you said, smoke drifting from your mouth.

“Because you’re getting on your knees the second you exhale.”

You held the rest of the smoke in for as long as you could to spite him. But Zeke quickly tired of your bullshit and took the joint from you. He grabbed a chunk of your hair from the back of your scalp and pulled.

“Knees,” he muttered.

You scoffed. “Rude.”

However you did as you were told and he loosened his grip. He took a hit from the joint and blew the smoke towards the ceiling. The ground wasn’t sticky, but that did little to quell your disgust. You were always ashamed at the depths of depravity you allowed yourself to descend into for your boyfriend.

You looked up at him and asked, “Are you really gonna be able to keep the door shut?”

“No. Undo my belt.”

You gritted your teeth and started to fiddle with his belt. His rough hand rested on your head, softly caressing it. You knew such tenderness wouldn’t last long.

“I know you can work faster than that.”

You sighed dramatically. You quickly pulled his belt off and unbuttoned his jeans. You pulled them down and noted that his black briefs were sullied with precum. You yanked his underwear down and was greeted by his thick cock, a beautiful sight to behold. Drool pooled in your mouth, a small drop of it trickled from the corner of your mouth. Zeke lifted your chin and wiped it away with his calloused thumb.

“You’re foul. What will I ever do with you?”

You gazed up at him. “I don’t know… Let me milk every drop of cum from your cock?”

He smirked. “You’re so fucking stupid. Are you done talking?”

“I guess. I can’t think of anything else to—”

He grabbed the back of your head and forced his cock into your mouth. You lurched forward, using the bathroom stall door to keep some semblance of balance. His thrusts were methodical. Never too deep as he didn’t want you to gag on him, it was too early for that.

“You’re filthy, you know that? An utter degenerate.”

He continued to plunge his cock deeper and deeper into your mouth. You carefully breathed through your nose and tried to not cough on his length.

“You deserve to get caught. Everyone deserves to know what a disgusting slut you are.”

You attempted a nod, but Zeke put his rugged palm on your forehead and shoved you off of his cock.

“Say it.”

“I deserve to get caught.”

His grey stared down at you hazy with lust. “And?” He took one last hit off the joint.

“And everyone deserves to know how gross I am.”

He frowned and blew the smoke directly in your face. “Not quite, but close enough.” He shoved his cock back down your throat.

The bathroom stall proved to be a poor source of balance so you rested your hands on his tense thighs. His muscles contracted with pleasure. You relaxed your throat, finally getting the entirety of his cock in your mouth. You held it there for a few seconds before you felt the beginning of a gag. You pushed his hips away from you. He pulled out and continued to jerk off as you coughed and caught your breath.

“I’m getting really close,” he teased.

You smacked his hand away. You spit in yours and jerked him off while running your tongue along his slit.

“Fuck,” he said under his breath. He held your head in place and rammed his cock in your mouth. You grabbed onto his taut ass for leverage. His thrusts were becoming sloppy. He came hard, filling your throat with cum.

“I’m getting fucked, right?” you asked, wiping your lips.

“No, I thought I’d just stand here in this bathroom with my dick out.”

You rolled your eyes and got undressed. He led you out of the stall and shoved you against the sink. He groped your breasts, rough fingers pinching your nipples.

“Ouch!” you yelped.

Zeke laughed and pinched harder. He slipped three of his dexterous fingers into your slick pussy. They slid in and out with ease. He pushed you harder against the sink, the basin digging into your spine. You winced. He took notice and put his hands under your ass and lifted you up.

“Lock your legs around me,” he commanded.

He slammed his cock balls deep inside you. There was no tenderness in his thrusts. He wanted you to moan his name louder than you’d moan anyone else’s. But you resisted. The last thing you wanted to do was to bring any attention to yourself.

“Come on, pet,” he practically begged. “Say my name.”

You shook your head. You pictured those leering old men sipping their martinis, cocks stiff as they heard you moan. Zeke rubbed your clit with his thumb and started kissing your neck. His soft flaxen beard tickled your skin.

“Say my name or else I’ll go find some cheap whore that will.” 

His breath was hot on your neck. He pressed his thumb down hard on your clit.

“Fuck! Zeke!” Your legs tightened around his waist.

He placed his hand under your chin and forced you to make eye contact. His eyes were feral, darkened with desire.

“Weak. You can do better than that.”

You hugged him closer, fingernails digging into his chiseled back.

“Zeke!”

You felt your body growing warmer. Every cell in your body writhed with pleasure. You clung to his body as your orgasm intensified.

“I don’t remember giving you permission,” he whispered in your ear.

You attempted to hold back but it was too late. You moaned his name louder than even he anticipated. He held his hand over your mouth, his cock still inside you, thrusting away.

“I don’t remember saying you should start screaming either.” His tone was anxious. “I never thought I’d say this, but please shut the fuck up.”

You glared at him, but remained silent and allowed him to continue fucking you with his engorged cock.

“Good girl.”

The words barely left his lips before he let out a hearty moan. He pulled out of you.

“Hurry, get on your knees.”

You dropped down to them and opened your mouth. For the first time in years he missed, getting his cum all over your chin and down your neck. You were not impressed.

“You look so cute.”

He pinched your cheek and ordered you to stand up. He held your face in his hands. Just as he went to lick your neck the bathroom door swung open. It was one of the old men. Zeke didn’t stop licking you.

“Oh my word! I am so sorry. You, uh… You two… have fun.”

The guy ran out as quickly as he came in.

“I wonder if I could pay that guy to walk in on us whenever I want.”

You went to search for your underwear and found them inside a toilet. You flushed them away.

 “No. We talked about this already.”

“Colt would be traumatized if he walked in on this.”

Zeke finally put his dick away. You both stood at the sink washing your hands.

“Isn’t that what you wanted?! Whatever, let’s leave before we get kicked out for being absolutely disgusting. Not that I ever plan on coming back here.”

You walked out of the bathroom and faced the geezers. You kept your head down. Zeke on the other hand seemed to relish in the shame and even tried to high five the man who caught you.

Zeke grabbed his backpack from under the table you two had been previously sitting at. You headed to the spiral staircase that led to the exit. It was one of those rickety metal ones that would be considered decorative in a world that made sense. Zeke offered you his elbow and you held on while you cautiously made your way down the stairs. You pushed through the heavy doors and were greeted by a rush of cold air.

You shivered. “Fuck! I was inside before the sun went down.”

You were woefully unprepared for the weather.

“Good thing I’m a genius then, huh?” He pulled out a sweatshirt from his backpack. “Arms up.”

You raised your arms and he tugged the sweatshirt down onto your body.

“Thank you. I didn’t think it would be so chilly.”

Zeke pointed up at the perfectly clear night sky. “Yeah, we’re in for a cold one. Look.”

You both let out a collective whoa. It was a gorgeous sight; it almost made up for the ugliness that had previously occurred moments ago.

Zeke lightly slapped your ass. “Let’s get moving. We need to shower.”

“Come on, you don’t wanna stare at something dumb ass beautiful?”

If you had craned your neck back any further to see the stars you would have toppled over.“I already have a beautiful dumb ass I can stare at whenever I want. Now come on. I was balls deep in a paternity dispute before I got here. You’re going to love it, the baby daddy threw his gold tooth at his ex-wife. Jerry is pissed.”

#zeke yeager x reader #zeke jaeger x reader #zeke yeagerr smut #zeke jaeger smut #aot smut #snk smut #shingeki no kyojin smut #attack on titan smut #aot x reader #.fics #.aot #.zeke #x reader #reader insert

[this-is-krikkit]

here are the (intelligible) notes i jotted down while watching the finale:

if you think i'm gonna buy into that ridiculous arc of "yuuri being all noble and sacrificing his career so that victor can come back and then victor crying his eyes out bc yuuri's telling him he wants to break off their working relationship and that's the last thing he wants and he can't believe yuuri would make that decision without consulting him first because they're a partnership and he can't imagine himself deciding anything without talking to his fiancé mentee friend WHATEVER THEY ARE TO EACH OTHER first"

well, congrats. you were right, and i am in tears.

victor's hand staying put long after yuuri's started sliding away on the ice, like he doesn't want to let go… uggggh, my feels.

sidenote, "i want to kiss your medal" is amongst the greatest gayest subtext i've ever heard, and not to brag but i could probably win gold in a gay subtext contest myself. well fucking played.

i knew he'd nail the quad flip, you knew he'd nail the quad flip, everyone who's watched this anime knew he'd nail that godforsaken quad flip when he set out to do it.

so my question is:

WHY AM I UGLY SOBBING IN UTTER SURPRISE AND JOY THAT HE DID MANAGE TO JUMP IT????

and finally, that ending was the most perfect series ending i've ever seen. the two of them dancing together (WITH THE DAMN RINGS AGAIN AAAAAH) on the ice and living together, knowing what awaits them…… i got literal chills.

this has been a short but intense and wilf fucking ride, that completely took me by surprise with how quickly and easily i fell in love with the characters.

i'm gonna rewatch the shit out of it any chance i get.

#yuri on ice #yoi finale #yuuri katsuki #victor nikiforov #victuuri #my heart is so full #yoi episode 12 #... how silly of me is it to ask if there's ever gonna be a s2?? #Cee babe you can ask for one favor that i cannot refuse #(except watching that other anime. bc that's already in my plans *eyeroll*) #*whatever else* it is i'll do/write it! so choose wisely hehe

[kaeyx]

Thinking about stepping on catchuus dick while he’s in heat. Hes in heat but hes too embarrassed to communicate that! (Poor babys really good at masking his emotions and needs) The look of shock in his eyes when you push him down to the floor one day out of pure irritation. Bros like “•.•” cause he cant process that youre being rough with him. Where did his kind master go, the one who put up with him even at his worst days?!!? The only way to get him to admit hes in heat is to edge him until hes whining like a desperate whore!

• chuu has been acting up lately for no apparent reason!

•feels way to embarrassed to initiate sex

•so embarrassed that you might wake up with bruised thighs from him humping them at night!

•ever since you took him in my poor baby hasn’t been able to get himself off without some kind of physical touch from you

•even when hes dry humping you at night, its so shameful. Hes been going at it for hours only in the end to have the weakest spurt of cum spill out of his aggravated tip!

•but the night he goes too far is when hes being a little pervert and watching you shower trying desperately to get himself off

•you catch him and inquire about what he was doing

•”awh baby were you touching yourself while watching your master clean himself, y’know you can come in and ill help you”

•He scoffs “y’know you’re not even that pretty. Don’t get ahead of yourself sir, i wouldn’t be that desperate in a million years especially not for you.”

•obviously he doesn’t mean a word of this! He was just so embarrassed that you caught him that he said the first mean thing he could come up with.

•however it doesn’t matter if he didn’t mean it, you’re seeing red

•” what. the. fuck. Did you just say to me”

•chuu fucked up big time

•you get out of the shower and push him down to the ground rolling your heel against his obvious boner

•”if im so ugly then why are you acting like such a fucking whore, i might not have a dick but i know they dont get that hard for just anyone”

•he’s only used to praise from you, but he’d be lying if he said you losing your control didn’t turn him on

•”Ngh! Fuck~ master please m’sorry!” He cries out

•when you try to interrogate him about why he said those things to you he just looks away with furrowed brows and flushed cheeks. (He is quite literally tucking his tail between his legs)

•it goes on like that for at least an hour. But he does break eventually

•hes humping the ball of your foot youve so generously offered while crying out and telling you how he forgot to take his heat repressors and how he was humiliated and didnt want to let you know

•tears running down his cheeks and an embarrassing amount of precum leaking from his tip

•”shhh its okay baby thats all you had to say”

•you whisper sweet things into his ears, but the praise you’re giving him doesn’t match up with the rough manner you’re stroking his cock

•he comes. HARD.

•thick white ropes of cum spilled one after the other from his weeping head

•cums so hard it almost reaches his neck!

•hes now desperately clinging to you whimpering and whining apologies

•”s-sir m’sorry! Jus’ wanted you. Youre so pretty sir, the best master i could ask for!”

•normally hed be to embarrassed to say these things, but hed just had one of the most intense orgasms of his life

•you rub his hair cooing “shh i know baby, jus’ dont do it again”

•falls asleep purring in your arms, slinging to you like he did when you first took him in

-🫙

(IM SORRY I GOT CARRIED AWAY, KEEP UP THE GOOD WORK ON YOUR WRITING)

AOUGH okay okay I'm putting this under a cut since the ask is long

Nah bc you're right, he'd be so good at hiding his heats. Or we can throw in some a/b/o and give him heat suppressants, sure! Either way you've never had to think about when heat season is coming, or you might not even know about it unless he's commented on it for whatever reason.

Also yes yes yes Chuuya snapping at someone when he's taken by surprise or feels defensive is so real to me. Crossing his arms and huffing even though his cheeks are red and you can see the outline of him in his pants, he's just going to double down and storm off. And try to finish himself off the second you're out of sight of course. Even if you'd had sex before he's suddenly initiating a lot less, not trying to coax you in for a kiss or anything at all, but always deflects when you ask him what's wrong.

Him grinding against your foot or leg is so hot too...or the heel of your boot even... clawing uselessly at the floor and bucking his hips, whining whenever you press down, dripping steadily onto his stomach. All that pent up cum shooting out far more violently than usual as he pants and moans so pretty, deep in his chest. Finally getting relief after so long of trying to rut into the space between your thighs while you slept.

#asks.answered #chuuya.bsd #chuuya x reader #chuuya smut #cat!chuuya #🫙 anon #🫙 anon i am Looking at you. holding my hand out to you. digging around in your head even

[every-dayiwakeup]

The One Where Eddie Doesn't Die

TW: unedited, THAT scene rewritten, mentions of abuse and N*il ofc is his own 🚩🚩

"What the fuck is wrong with you, Munson?" Billy Hargrove bellows over the thumping and screeching of the bats. "Are you a fucking moron?"

Eddie, with the look of a scolded child on his narrow, paled face, tries to fight out of Billy's killer grip, punching weakly at his stupidly broad chest. "Not... a... moron."

"You were gonna cut that sheet." Billy's voice is quieter now, albeit a bit hoarse from all the yelling. "You were gonna die-"

"What do you care? Dude, you don't even know me!" Eddie snaps, and Billy doesn't loosen his hold on him, but Eddie doesn't feel restrained. He's still pissed, though. Who wouldn't be?

Hargrove had done nothing but send him death stares and chew gum with his mouth open since Eddie had met him.

"Oh? I think I do. I was a coward, too. My whole life. I was never a hero. A hero saves people. I couldn't save my mom, I couldn't make her stay."

Eddie stops struggling, and Billy's grip weakens to match his shaky tone. "My dad, he was a... mean son of a bitch. Like, really mean."

Eddie nods, tight lipped. He was never good at conversation that wasn't about Ozzy or Metallica.

"He started hitting me when I was seven. When I broke his mother's clay pot. Knocked it over by accident, of course. I told him I didn't mean it." Billy subconsciously covers his left eye, and Eddie looks, truly looks at Billy Hargrove, for the first time.

And he sees everything, even the sharp yet beautiful edges, because ugliness and Billy Hargrove could not ever exist in the same sentence.

A scared little boy, so hated by a world that did nothing but watch as he suffered. A dutiful son. A brother who would kill to protect his sister. A child who hadn't felt a loving touch in so long, he'd forgotten the very existence of such. Love? Hope? Foreign to him. And how could someone who was treated so horribly ever know that there was any other way, if it had never been shown to him?

He gulps, willing himself not to cry.

These were not his tears to shed, and he wasn't a bitch, but he couldn't deny it; he felt sorry for Billy Hargrove. Still, he had a burning question, and his lips were not meant to be zipped this long.

"Your dad was a dick, and I'm sorry. But what does that have to do with me? You literally just met me, man."

"And I clearly have more of a respect for your life than you do," Billy says, a dangerous edge starting to return to his voice.

Ouch. He took it back, Hargrove was a huge dick. Was he right about his pointed assessment? Spot fucking on. Didn't mean it didn't sting. "Fuck you, man. Fuck you!"

"I'll pass. You're not my type."

Eddie growls, shoving at Hargrove, who apparently consumes a steady diet of concrete and human suffering, because he doesn't move an inch. Bastard. "Why did you bother, then?"

"That didn't sound like a thank you."

"Well, I didn't ask for you to!"

Billy rolls his eyes, and turns to Henderson, the fire in his eyes smoldering into something akin to concern. "Dusty, kid, are you alright?"

Henderson nods, wiping his eyes. "I think I just shit myself, but I'm alright."

"Kid's a trooper," Billy says fondly, ruffling Henderson's mop of curls. "I hope Robin, Nancy, and... Steve are alright."

Eddie narrows his eyes in suspicion and a tad bit of... jealousy? No, annoyance. Definitely annoyance. He has finally met his match, and not in rock n' roll hell."You call them by their first names."

"Yeah. I respect them."

"Wow. You're a fucking dick."

"So I've been told."

"Answer my question, Hargrove, or I swear to God, I'm gonna go out there and-"

"What? Sacrifice yourself for a town that doesn't give a shit about you?"

Again, right on the money. Hargrove wasn't as stupid as Mike said he was. "You don't understand. I left C...Ch...Chrissy there. I saw her and I-I ran."

"Seems like a normal, appropriate reaction."

"Too normal for me," Eddie grumbles.

Billy frowns, and lets him sink into the mattress. "That instinct kept you alive. You made it this far."

"But that-that thing killed her! You didn't know, you didn't see-"

"The same fucker that killed your girl, he made me his bitch. Gave me these." Hargrove pulls up his shirt, revealing gnarly purple scars littering his upper torso. "Ugly, I know. They're the only scars that can never go away." Billy shakes his head like a wet dog, the same thing Eddie does when he wants to ward off pesky thoughts. "I thought I was ready... to you know... kick the bucket. Bleeding out, and all I thought was how... disappointed my mother would be. If she was there, waiting. The doctors said my heart stopped twice. That I wouldn't have made it... if it weren't for Steve and his band of Rugrats."

"Are you two just gonna sit on your asses or are you gonna help me?" Dustin huffs as he closes the last possible entry.

"Your screeching is gonna aggravate them, Henderson." Billy snickers as he ducks a soda can, and Dustin flips him off. Yet there's a clear connection between them, almost parental. Albeit, an unconventional father who definitely needed someone to reel him in at times.

Not that Eddie would know much about that.

"I didn't think I was worth fighting for. I didn't think I had anything to live for. Truthfully, I'd felt dead inside since my mom left. But it does get better. Granted, it takes time-"

"You're talking in circles, buddy."

Billy rolls his eyes, muttering, "Jesus fuckin' Christ" as he ties his matted curls into a sloppy bun. "You don't have to be the hero right now. This? This is a battle. Losing your life won't avenge Chrissy." His blue pupils switch from Henderson to a yellow sweater on the floor, dilating slightly. Harrington's sweater. "Your death won't help anyone. This is a war. So..." Billy holds out Eddie's makeshift trash lid shield, staring at him intensely, "are you gonna fight?"

Eddie takes the shield with a surprisingly steady hand, gripping the metal. His jaw sets in newfound determination. " 'Till the final countdown," he replies, and Billy half laughs, half groans.

"Good. Then don't pull that sacrificial bullshit, this isn't your time."

He smirks; he's starting to figure out the land mine that is Billy Hargrove. He'd even go as far as to say he'd like h-

Like annoying him, that is.

He gives Billy a mock salute, winking, and underneath the muck, he swears he sees a hint of redness on the blonde's freckled cheeks.

Oh, he's going to stay alive for a little longer. There are so many more people left to annoy.

#harringrove #billy x eddie #mungrove #billy x steve #this is exactly what happened #fanfiction #harringrove week #billy would have saved eddie #rat boys gotta have each others backs

[crystalclear97]

I WAS AT STAGE WITH PARAMORE 💜

Wow. I can't believe I'm writing this. Here I go.

Disclaimer: English is not my first language and I'm writing this at the airport on my phone without thinking too much. So, sorry if I mess up with the grammar or something 🙏 (by the time I'm uploading it I'm already at home cause I wanted to add some pictures).

I made this account very recently because I was embarassed about fangirling too much at my main blogs where irl people followed me.

I dedicated this account mostly to aruani (snk) fandom but you've probably realized that I also share a lot Paramore stuff.

Well, I wasn't planning on ending anonymity anytime soon but... something BIG happened to me.

Last thursday I was able to go to my first Paramore show ever at Dublin. I've been dreaming about it for so many years. I've watched so many videos of fans going up stage at Misery Business and I've cried so many times watching them. I travelled from Spain, wrote in a huge sign "I crave to sing with you", arrived at queue at 8:15 am aprox, and waited (I had General Acces tickets!). The amazing Tom gave us some numbered wristbands so we could leave the queue and stay warm and healthy without losing our spot. He was the sweetest. Meanwhile I took a walk around, lucky enough to meet Brian Robert Jones and take a pic with him!!! Around 4 pm we were back at the queue and, yes, I was able to be at the same spot. ❤️

The second I entered the arena and realized how close I was to the stage I started ugly crying hahahaha. Rozi Plain was so sweet, Bloc Party was awesome (I really like them as well!!). And then they came out. At that moment I wasn't even crying anymore, I think I was disassociating a bit 🤣

They were amazing. Hayley is so talented, pretty and fun. THE ENERGY. I was holding up my sign maybe for too long and I could hear some people complaining about it behind me, which I totally understand... I felt so bad I started crying about it so I decided to not hold it up again until Misery Business :_) But soon the guilty tears turned into emotional tears, and I cried a lot during most of the show. I was SO EMOTIONAL during Last Hope... 🥺

AND THEN

Misery Business starts. Time to make Hayley spot me 🙏 Omg my stomach hurts while writing this... SHE. PICKED. ME. SHE FUCKING PICKED ME. I didn't realized, my boyfriend literally had to tell me because I was so nervous I didn't realized. Ok I think I'm going to cry again hahahaha.

She said she had been watching and knew exactly that it was going to be me. I can't believe it. At that moment I was so euphoric that I just went with the flow. Obviously I'd been preparing myself for this but you need to know I'm a very socially akward person, I have many anxiety issues, but IDK WHAT HAPPENED TO ME BUT I'M VERY PROUD OF MYSELF 😭😭😭 Hayley hugged me very hard, I told her I love her and thanked her a billion times. She is very tiny and I'm a big tall person but she PET MY HEAD 😭😭😭❤️ I can't believe she was so sweet!!!! I did it, I sang the song, I danced with Hayley, she said my name, we headbanged together... an amazing dream come true. I asked her to sign my (diy grow up) jacket and SHE DID IT!!! I was told to left very quickly (obviously 🤣) but she managed to sign it for me on time 🙏❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️ (I also brought a marker in my pocket on purpose). I mean I WAS SO READY FOR IT 😭❤️

After that people were AMAZINGLY NICE TO ME. THANK YOU ALL WITH ALL MY HEART. It means the world to me that the other fans felt happy for me, so many people congratulated my, you are in my heart FOREVER. I felt kinda bad because I'm from Spain and I started thinking that maybe I didn't deserve it, that it should have been anyone from Dublin... I find it very difficult to feel worthy of all the goods things that happen to me, and to hear so many fans telling so many nice things, hugging me, even asking for pictures... You really made a difference in me. I'm crying. I wish I could share with you the feeling. THANK YOU DUBLIN. THANK YOU SO MUCH!!!!! ❤️

This has changed my life forever. I also met Louise from Bloc Party after the show and she was LOVELY, eveything about that night has inspired me forever. I've been dreaming about making music by myself since I was a little child and just started to actually make it (kinda 🤣) a few months ago. But now... I feel so blessed and inspired I'm gonna try harder from now on.

MY WILDEST DREAMS CAME TRUE. Thank you Hayley for choosing me, thank you Paramore for changing my life, thank you Dublin for the unforgettable experience, thanks to the lovely fans I met there, and THANKS TO MY AMAZING BOYFRIEND for being there with my ALWAYS by my side. He knew it was going to be me. He fucking knew. I'm so grateful. I've been crying since that night. I'm crying right now and I'll never stop crying about this. This is a once in a lifetime experience, I am the luckiest person. A picture could not contain the way it feels.

WE LOVE YOU. WE LOVE YOU AND WE ARE PARAMORE. ❤️

Pics by Eleanor (check out her work omg):

Pics by Charlie:

Pic by Laura:

13/04/23

#paramore #hayley williams #hayley #misery business #fan on stage #lucky #dream come true #miz biz #paramore tour #paramore 2023 #this is why #riot #this is why tour #dublin #ireland #paramore dublin #paramore ireland #feelings #THANK YOU #hayley williams with fan

[alchemistc]

🪡 and 🌈

🪡 The scene you worked the hardest on in any fic?

Literally any sort of smut. I'm pretty exclusively a stream-of-consciousness-and-see-if-its-readable-later writer but smut always makes me want to tear my own hair out because - wait how many times have I said cock and where was that leg before and oh shit I've already used that particular purple prosy turn of phrase and THEY FUCKED ALRIGHT, IT WAS GOOD IT WAS GREAT EVERYONE GOT OFF AND THEY HAD A GREAT TIME DOING IT.

If you ever read smut I've written, just know that it took twice as long to write out those two paragraphs as its taking grrm to write winds of winter.

That being said, I mostly don't work too hard? Sometimes I look back at certain pieces of writing and realize there was a subconscious thread being woven through the plot and I give my brain a pat on the back because I surely didn't plan that but fuck it worked out great.

🌈 Your favorite tropes to write about?

ONLY ONE BED

Meet-cutes and their fellow: meet-uglys where everything goes wrong and they should hate each other but surprise they don't.

Unrequited Love that is SO FUCKING REQUITED THEY'RE JUST DUMB

Soulmates AU's but not in the "everyone has one and its indicated on your body" (i like those too, but i wanna read them not write them) - the kind where no matter the time period, the circumstances, the absolutely wacky situation they're in, they find each other, and they mean something to each other, and it doesnt matter if its a gaze across a room or a decades long relationship, they impact each others lives

Found family

And I know its not necessarily a trope but OUTSIDER POV every time I get the chance I'm gonna make a random dude hyperfocus on the love lives of others for 1k-10k words

#askbox games

[the-insomniac-emporium]

J Watches Arcane: Ep. 4a, Random Thoughts/Play-By-Play

Oi, only took me fucking months to finally get off my arse and watch the next episode, oops. What can I say, I'm allergic (and yet addicted) to sadness? Anyway, these are just thoughts that I have as I watch, with timestamps. Nothing super in depth, but I just enjoy keeping track of what I notice (might forget otherwise), and it helps with forming bigger pictures with the scraps later on.

Under read-more for length and spoilers (obvs). Seriously, tho, I had a lot of thoughts on this one, even if you ignore the parts that can be summed up with "J, your gay is showing" or "J, your gender envy is showing". I mean, seriously. I mean, like, I had to break this into two parts for formatting reasons. It's kind of absurd. Ends at roughly 22 minutes into episode 4

(1:53) WHAT IS THAT. I WANT TWENTY. FLUFFBALL. Why have I not heard of this fella before?

(4:29) Right up until this shot, everything post-intro/opening gave me low-key Bioshock Infinite vibes. I really should finish that game...

(4:42) Well, first of all, let me just say that I'm glad Caitlyn's mom is still a milf, I guess. Second of all... I know that there's a timeskip between episodes 3 and 4, and I think I read it's somewhere around 7 years, but the contrast between hearing Cassandra talk about Jayce now compared to the last time they interacted is just. It's there. I'm thinking about it. She's a politician, tho, yeah? Feels like she's got experience with putting reputation/public image first. Guess I'm just noting that here in case it pops up again- good source for conflict, yeah?

(4:52) MY WIFE! My wife has a dumb hat!!! I love her dumb hat!!!

(5:29, "we really have descended to anarchy") I am going to melt over her smile oh my god. Also, I appreciate her and Jayce's friendship/basically being siblings (which I have heard a bit about). The way that Cait is so clearly miffed about her post/things with her mother, but still softens up to joke around with Jayce- and the fact that Jayce took the time to come over in the first place :D

(5:55) OH IS IT MY BOY? IS THIS THE FIRST GLIMPSE OF MY GROWN UP BOY? I legit don't know if Ekko's role in the firelights (is that the right name? I have been trying to avoid spoilers) is, like, a huge thing/big reveal, so I don't know if I'll be upset that I got spoiled on it ages ago

(6:22) MY OTHER WIFE. Not to, like, make 50% of this post about how gay I am but-

(6:40) oh hey cool, I got the name right. also just want to say I fucking LOVE the firelights' designs, everything from their outfits to their tools to their sick ass hoverboards

(6:58) that was the smoothest fucking thing I have ever seen oh my god. if I was there to witness that, I would be proposing on the spot. marry me, cool mask man

(7:42, "oh no, she's here") is it my other other wife? is it time for me to start crying, from here until the end, as the chances of recovery slip further and further out of her fingers? will I weep neon pink tears of grape soda gamer fuel glimmer, as the echoes in her skull overwhelm? oh, to be so small, in a world so big and so loud, to feel like one must scream onto the void until their lungs give out, if only to be seen at all- if only to prove that you exist-

(8:52, "... hi")... I mean, like I said, it's a build up, ya know? the end of the rope doesn't feel as bad if you never saw how long it was to begin with, after all

(8:53, *click*) lmao never mind, love my poor, poor feral lass

(9:24) and so it begins. Or, well, it doesn't so much begin as it starts to rear it's ugly head. One thing that I've noticed, and will probably make a separate post for at some point (so the thought doesn't get lost in this jumbled mess), is that the little flashes we see of Jinx's hallucinations here aren't new, per se. Literally in the very first scene of the whole ass show, when the enforcers are walking through the smog, their masks glinting in the firelight, we see those flashes of comic-esque facial expressions, the sort of "signature Jinx graphic". From a design standpoint it's neat, but more importantly, recalling that from the first episode is a great way of showing two things.

Firstly, Jinx has been going downhill for a long ass time. It's not that what happened at the end of 3 completely broke her, it's that life stuck its fingers in the cracks of her mental state, and starting tugging until everything split apart. Also want to say that the fight scene between Deckard + crew and Vi + crew in ep1 also highlights this, specifically with the way everything goes into slow motion, and we Powder at the center of it all, back against the wall, eyes wide and panicked, unable to do anything- because poor girl is probably remembering that shit on the bridge

Okay, tumblr is making me break this up a little, please ignore this random thing, something about a characters-per-block limit?

Secondly, that whole opening sequence sets up the entirety of Powder/Jinx's trauma. Violence, flashes of light, clutching desperately to those who offer her comfort, culminating in the first major loss: Her parents.

Point is, this shit hurts my emotions. Thank you for coming to my TED Talk, and please remember that I am not a psychologist/therapist, just a writing nerd with a skeleton full of closets :) yes I know that I fucked that one up, but honestly I think it's funny enough to keep

(11:13) oh. oh, Viktor, time will never be your friend, will it? Deep breaths, love, what you do with what you have will be more than enough. Also look at the little fluffball, back again. Look at them, Viktor, they will give you serotonin

(12:00) these are forbidden candy. I will fucking eat them. Jinx would take one look at these and cronch on one too

(12:35, "the next chapter of Hextech") oh, so you make it stable and the first fucking thing you build is a weapon? please tell me I'm looking at this incorrectly, but that looks like Vi's punchy gauntlet. *three seconds later* okay cool, it has other applications. had me worried there. I mean, I know it will be used as a weapon tho, so... it's a mixed bag :)

(14:00, "a decade?" "it zips past you in the blink of an eye") Heimerdinger, my dude. I know you're small and maybe can't see Viktor's face as well, because you as so close to the ground and so far away, but look at him. Are you really telling me that Heimerdinger is not at all aware that Viktor's health is declining? Has he grown so accustomed to the endlessness of his own life, that he has no concept of the fragility of humanity? just feels a bit insensitive, don't it?

(15:13) why hello, Ms. Bond okay, glad cameras are a thing, even if they're kinda basic at this point. wanted to make sure that my eventual dumb fics can include cute couple photos

(15:44) Cait. Cait. my god. Was that really the best landing you could do? What the fuck. Do they not make sure enforcers know how to get around a little? God, that landing was so loud. Loud landings = hard landings, hard landings = painful landings. You want soft, quiet ones, and not even just for stealth. The process just makes it a hell of a lot easier on your joints!

(17:16) um. okay. sorry, did... did Silco turn The Last Drop... into a night club?... no no no, it's okay, that's fine, no worries. I am just... surprised, is all.

(17:22) is this that one very minor side character that some folks on tumblr are really gay for, but not everyone I've seen can agree on their gender? and also they don't even have a page on the Arcane wiki? and I did definitely check because I saw a picture and suddenly understood tumble's interest?

(18:19, "the world's growing smaller every day") did Silco read that one post I made the other day, when I was having a breakdown at five in the morning?... is he disagreeing with me because I disagreed with him about how it feels to drown, or is he replying to the ending of my post, saying that "hey, no worries, the world does eventually get smaller?". anyway this has been a stupid joke

(18:27) Hawkeye?... oh, nope, just my gf again. sitting in the rafters (very gay of her, if I do say so myself). also, I love that Silco does not react at all to her dropping down directly onto his desk. How many fucking times has she done this? How often did she scare him before he got used to it?

(19:30) this part here is specifically aimed at me. because the creators know I hate eye stuff. I am taking this personally, and not just because it gives me an excuse to pause the show and not look at what I assume is about to be eye needle time. *half a second later* I hated that. Why didn't I just hit play while not looking at the screen? Oh, right, so I could see if I was right and then post about it, duh

(20:28) if anyone is still reading at this point, they're probably tired of me pointing out the fact that I have a crush on essentially every female character. So. Hey look, it's Mel, I can't wait to see what she's been up to :D

Okay, yeah, breaking this into two parts because I've now hit the whatever limit twice, and I have literally never done that before today, so...

#j watches tv #j watches arcane #arcane spoilers #arcane netflix #arcane meta #not super meta but there are parts where I go into it

[riiriii838384]

What the hell is going on?!.. cruelest dream reality!!

Only TW is alcohol anddd Panic Attacks, Mentions of insecurities-?

ENJOY SU1C1DAL PR1NC3SS </333333

Tai sat Infront of their nightstand, Infront of their mirror as they kept sobbing their heart out, Tai felt horrible- and ugly. Which was literally the worst feeling for them since they hated feeling ugly anyways, as well as feeling physically unwell because of their little hangover, They were crying so hard, Shaky, shallow breathing, loud coughing, and gagging was heard coming from their room, which was so loud they heard someone slowly open their door which made them flinch, and lift their head up a little bit while their hand was gripping onto their left eye. "D-dont look at me!!--- I--I'm so…fucking ugly." Tai mumbled between sobs, which was then accompanied by a loud cough. It was two boys one with long curly hair with a black shirt printed with a blood-stained heart and always holds a blush face- on his right.... A fluffed haired brown-haired boy with a grey mask covering his face and steampunk goggles with a striped sweater and his hatchets attached to his belts. "Tai- Dearie-! what are you doing in here all alone you look terrible-!" John doe sounded so very worried he cupped her face and gently wiped her tears and Toby...The hatchet boy who's usually a very numb person and doesn't know how to confront someone who is crying just stood there and rubbed his arm "T-Tai....W-what's going on?" Tai sniffled and sunk her face into her knees ... The two boys looked at each other and then back at the sad girl..."T-Tai...don't be t-this way you can t-tell us anything...y-ya k-know..." Toby put a hand on her shoulder trying his best to show he cares and wants to comfort her...Tai finally after a few minutes positioned herself up "May we sit with you love?" John doe asked. The hungover mess of a girl nodded her head in response and the two boys sat down each side by side to Tai back against the wall. Tai was still seated in their chair, trying to steady their breathing the best they can, but all that could come out were erratic breaths and coughs. Tai breathed heavily as they were still grabbing onto their eye for dear life. It literally took the life out of Tai just to be able to speak again, "...I'm never drinking again-- ever again. I just...I just want to......maybe have something I could finally enjoy for once in my life" Tai said as their voice slightly cracked, even when they sat in a different position, and calmed down just a tiny bit, no matter what Tai always covered their eye and looked down at the floor. This odd behavior- and What Tai said confused both of the boys, they looked at each other dumbfounded for a minute. "Darling- uhm-" Doe gave a quite awkward but reassuring smile and asked. "Why do you keep covering your eye?" Tai closed both of them and mumbled. "Uh- what was that dear- I couldn't hear you?" Tai snapped "my eye looks so fucked up-! it's so ugly and fucking...sloppy.... I look so fucked up right now and I hate how disgusting I am-!! I hate this feeling of disgust I just want to fucking K!ll mys3lf!" John Doe & Toby immediately hugged Tai after she shouted that. Tai's eyes got watery again. Toby sighed and dug into his pockets and pulled out a bondage eye patch he only had one just in case of major injury during his k1ll1ng. . "Uh y-yeah h-have this..." Toby gently moves Tais bangs from her face which did make her tummy have butterflies, but she tried to prevent herself from smiling.

Toby gently placed the eye patch on her hungover eye "W-wa la-!" Tobg cheered John doe gave Tai a friendly kiss on the cheek before saying "You look lovely Tai! Go look in the mirror" "o-oh okay-" Tai carfully got up and looked up at her self through her bedroom mirror-- She looked....genrally pretty...she liked herself for once "you know what- I don't actually look thst bad- maybe I don't feel so gross after all-" A big grin flashed upon Tai's face as she looked at her two guy friends "Thanks Toby and Doe.. Idk what'd I honestly do without you two..." The three went off in the night to fuck around and Tao never felt better about herself and ...everything... she felt genrally free when she felt the cool midnight air touch her face and the moon smiling at her it was all so beautiful she closed her eyes and embraced all of it. . . The End <3

#fanfic #ticci toby #john doe #comfort #comfort character

[calonise]

Aight, back at this, because I wanna just put it out there and have some "closure".

So few months had passed by ever since we stopped talking, until the festival date was nearing, we started to chat again, mostly regarding logistics of the festival, plane tickets (we were flying together) and the overall trip thing.

Day 1 consisted on traveling, my dad made us the favor of driving us (me, my roomie and the girl) to the airport (thanks dad), on the way there we picked this girl, we hadn't talked for months and she immediately sprinted towards me and almost tackled me with a hug... It was weird and satisfying? You see, in my whole life I've been devoid of physical affection and... Affection overall, so when I'm shown the slightest affection I gravitate towards that person the way a moth does to light.

We got to the airport, we said goodbye to my dad and we got onto the plane, once aboard, we were seated all in the same row, and she was next to me... The whole flight I was hugging her and she fell asleep in my arms (I love when girls do this) and this was... Dangerous, because there were MANY red flags already that I should have not ignored, but I still ignored them and "enjoyed" the moment.

We arrived to the destination airport, we had dinner with my roomies BF @ the airport as we waited for another friend's flight to arrive, once the gang was all together we headed towards our Airbnb where we would stay a whole week.

I don't wanna drag this much, but the first few days we hung out and went out to some restaurants and other places, I wanna mention that during these first 3 says, the girl in question was hitting on me hard, so hard that even my friends told me so too, and we were acting like a couple, and this included some physical stuff too, BUT, here's where the shit takes a turn, on the evening of the third day, this girl started to act cold towards me, after we started to act like a couple, whenever I asked if there was anything wrong, she said nothing was wrong.

Well... At the night of the third day, when we were riding back home on an uber, she was messaging someone and that person sent her audios, she played one with the audio high enough to hear 4 words: "I love you too." It was a male voice, I... Took a glance at her screen and the name had a heart on it (I know this is invasive, and I couldn't help myself). At that exact moment, it all made sense and... I literally could hear how my heart shattered like glass.

Needless to say... I just kept quiet the rest of the ride, looking at the window, trying to fight back tears and just crying... I felt betrayed, played with and many many more ugly things about myself that even right now as I write this and remember it, makes me so fucking sad... Imagine finding out that the girl you were crushing on, that you had "something" with, the girl you confessed to after YEARS of not trying something with someone because of trauma, that that girl, already had a boyfriend for God knows how long, and she never had the guts to tell me, like "hey so, I have a boyfriend now, we shouldn't try anything beyond friendship" and instead was hitting on me and getting my affection and attention. That Uber ride back to the Airbnb was one of the most miserable moments of my life...

As soon as we got to the Airbnb, everyone hung out at the living room to watch some TV, but I headed straight to my room, to my bed, with lights off and door closed, I just cried my heart out, in silence, as to not disrupt everyone else... I have not told anyone this, but that night I really just had the ugliest of thoughts about myself, and what was worse is that I felt that I couldn't tell anyone about it, not even my roomie and best friend, as I didn't want her to outcast this girl or something since we still had 6 fucking days, 6 of the longest days of my life.

There's still way more to this but, as I'm finishing writing this off I'm emotionally exhausted and on the verge of tears... I'll continue posting this story once I recharge my emotional battery.

[silens-oro]

HOLY SHIT!!!

First of all I hope you don't mind but I need to share some of my favorite pieces of dialogue/moments from part 3 because I haven't stopped screaming since I read it. This is going to be long and you don't have to post it, but I needed to reach out because I haven't read fics in a long time and this was the first I encountered coming back here.

“I should believe my sister and uncle would like their assassins returned,” Aemond explained. His gaze dared anyone to question him. “Though they will not be whole.” AEMOND??? BABE??? HACKIN AND WACKIN AND SMACKIN THE ASSASSINS?? I stan.

By the time you landed, your hair had crafted itself into a rat’s nest and you were missing a boot. The smile on your face nearly cracked your skull in half as you fell to the sand. Scrambling up, you bowed to the dragon, thanking it out of respect as it seemed like the thing to do. 

“I feel you,” You spoke through pants of air to the dragon in your native High Valyrian, a hand held to your heart then placed on the dragon’s jowl.

Also we get to look back at how the reader acquired Aerraxys!! I could imagine the scene in my head as I read along so bravo to you!

“I do not need a maester to tell me what I can and cannot do, Aemond. I do not need a maester to tell me to lay in bed, alone, to think of what has happened over! and over! and over! without mercy with my only thought a silent prayer for the Stranger to take me and spare me of the madness that grows within me!” You turned your head to Aemond with tears in your eyes and whispered, “You do not understand,” To see the reader's mental breakdown happening in realtime is so sad. I can't imagine what she's going through. I also like (appreciate) the disconnect that very obviously happens between them since she was attacked. Based on what Aemond says, she would not speak to him. It seemed like he tried not to take it personally and that he wanted to help her, but he was also hurting? The back and forth seems to me like it is more therapeutic than driving a wedge between them if that makes sense? Now that all of this is in the open, they can continue forward to hopefully kick some ass. “Though I only carry the mental scars, I pray you never have to witness me as I have you, bleeding and broken upon your death bed, the Stranger creeping along the shadows! As I have witnessed my child shrouded upon the table of the Silent Sisters!” His voice was a desperate plea for you to hear as he tried to shake sense into you.(...)

(...)“Do not think me weak or uncaring for not laying waste to the Seven Kingdoms because if I had the choice there would be nothing left to speak of!” I'm ugly sobbing??????? This entire exchange is agonizing to begin with, but then you remember that he is only 20 years old and it makes it worse to me. Ah man. I can't explain how emotional this chapter made me. I took "Though I only carry the mental scars..." as Aemond not trying to downplay the pain and trauma that the reader went through and to let her know that he stands with her, but she also needs to stand with him. He needs her support just as much as she needs his.

I wish someone loved me as much as Aemond loves the reader wtf

This ended up being super long I am so sorry.

xoxo

You're ugly sobbing? I'm ugly sobbing from this message! Literally cried for fifteen minutes after I got this. Thank you for taking the time to send me your thoughts, truly.

I took "Though I only carry the mental scars..." as Aemond not trying to downplay the pain and trauma that the reader went through and to let her know that he stands with her, but she also needs to stand with him. He needs her support just as much as she needs his.

This was beautifully put, and exactly what I was trying to convey. Their lifetime co-dependency on each other was brought to light in the worst way. It is so easy to forget just how young most of the characters in the show are, and what is expected of them regardless of that. Characters like Aemond seem so much older based on how they're articulated throughout the story. He is not much older than Jace (four years or so), but it may as well be a lifetime when you compare the two.

And I agree, I too wish I had an Aemond.

#eye for an eye series #ask #long ask #commentary ask

[abyxbby]

i always share existing content but never find myself typing out much anything all on my own.

25 years doesn't seem like it's that much time at all it seems at least to any individual with a full long life already tucked in nice & secure under their belt. i've always been very much so self aware, i guess that's just the reason why i want to die too.

the first 5 or so years on this planet the only things i knew where i felt were loneliness & bewilderingly unfit. i always knew there was not a single place in which id ever actually belong. the next 2.5 years only gave those feelings more permanence, i still clearly recall the ugly dark places my mind would wander off to late at night tucked sweet n sound in the toddler bed adjacent my sisters. even though i didn't know about it then, it's like some force from inside of me knew for a fact that a soul at such a young age should even be capable of thoughts & feelings with so much complexity, i was just as ill as i am now back then, i really haven't seen one aspect of this life without these painfully heavy & ridiculously damaging lenses given to me from the moment of my birth.

i am yet again more than sad within my time here where all i can manage to be is inconvenience & disregarded due to how different i am compared to the vast majority of this dull world. i'm seen as a real quack job, a nut case. which over time seems to give any person with which crosses my path the idea that they have any right to label me as a manipulator, i was born sick but it's all just that i'm out for attention. i've never known a day thus far without soul shattering levels of pain. even the best of days hurt more than most imagine, i still after all had to experience it while being me.

as far as the message im trying to get across, i couldn't tell ya what the hell it even is. after being isolated from quite literally any & all human contact, after living within the confines of 4 increasingly claustrophobic interior walls, i guess this is just the one place i have left where i feel any kind of safety. between u & i, it's all been set up so when it's deems to be THE time, i'll have more than what i could ever need and best of all being simply just peace of mind. the legwork is done, it's all ready as soon as i am as well. that way, i won't have to scramble ideas, source inventory or even have a chance for a damn soul to get in my way, not a chance to stop me, because at this point all i know is i am absolutely dead set on it, i just want to fucking die.

not too long ago, despite how off it may have seemed at that time, i took the one last attempt to save myself if ever be given again & risked every bit of it all because some boy told me kind things & somehow it did actually feel like I AM finally understood. for the first time of my life it was as if i was worthy & valued, deserving of any others effort & time, and as absolutely stupid of me as it was, i also let myself grow to genuinely love that boy. unfortunately, just like all others in my life, it wasn't ever actually based on the truth or had anything solid within it at all. my last ditch effort to at least find contentment seeing as happiness is too far away still for me as any kind of goal, the only time id be given to literally save my own fucking life, was ripped away in one fast excruciatingly malicious, selfish ass tear of my soul. once again i was no more than what everyone sees of me from the outside, which is never more than some sex fantasy perverted individuals make me into within their own minds, i've never been a single thing other than smokin hot. i'm sure it can sound great at first but being desired physically then consistently rejected mentally & emotionally has killed me entirely at this point already. i see not one reason then as to why i subject my physically form to such torment & misery.

i guess that's why i just won't anymore.

i'm tired. for so long i have kept my head above the water enough to survive while every now & again scream out with my soul in hopes somebody, please help fuck literally anybody please see me because i'm about to go under again n for the very very final time i ever will.

all it ever would've taken to make the universe of a difference for little ole me, is one person who doesn't judge & has enough compassion, just let go of norms bc they don't apply in the least bit when it comes to me just show me i deserve still to be fully embraced.

i've never had a friend this entire time. never more than simply a matter of wanting to fuck me or wanting to fucking be me. oh, my bad there is a lethal dose of pure hate that comes right with it too. and if by chance a soul thats encountered mine happens to come across this, just know yes it's exactly as i've always said & is now while taking in my agony. yeah just to toss it directly in the trash like the funnies from last weeks sunday paper after forgetting day after day i keep meaning to be rid of it.

if anything is to ever be educational & come to serve a purpose from the short & trauma filled years of torment im going to be free from, the most fitting of all it could be is just for human beings to STOP treating other human beings any less than respectfully & regard them with decency, because that's a u would ever want someone else to fucking do for u.

with all this being said it has come time to close up my inner thoughts & exhaust myself just getting by another day with no chance or possible way that i don't have to do the shit and still have to be me.

this is where i always say how much love i have for whom i'm addressing but since i have nothing more than just posts on tumblr saved to my own blag, it feels larger than life to say i dont fucking love shit & the first excitement to run through my body in so so very long comes from finally making the decision to ensure the ending to my very own life.

i won't see this time next year. maybe not even in 6 months. sooner the better in my book.

so long & fuck off to every single last one of u. the reason those who are born into suffering don't stand a chance is all because of selfish close minded tainted vile cruel tasteless hurtful manipulative wastes of good quality pack full of potential clean slate souls.

i hope the world burns and maybe then everyone would feel a touch of what i've endured full force now for every last moment in my 25 years of life.

[prt-razorfuck]

One day.

That's all I want is one day without the collections of ticking time bombs, both figuratively and quite literally in the case of our newest hero : Dr Explosive ( she's exactly who you think she is, and no, she doesn't have a doctorate, hence the lack of the period after "Dr"), getting up to some sort of bullshit that I end up cleaning up!

God, I go to steal one of Armsy's 'secret' illegal tinkertech energy drinks this morning like I always do (he *loves* the tests to his lab's security) and what do I find? Goffacea and her godsbedamned *cult* all Hyper and chanting their awful poetry around a disturbingly life like statue of Glory Girl, and the fuckers didn't let me join. That was the first of many ugly situations I've had to handle today, because the Rig is a metal box above a dirty ocean, and the government trapped a bunch of PTSD-ridden bastards with literal reality-warping powers on it and gave them a budget for fancy toys.

I'm not bitter. I just haven't slept because of Kid Win, who has *not* joined Goffacea's cult. Unlike Miss Militia (who adores the damage Vicky does) and Flashbang, who's here to make sure his daughter is okay, he's been Tinkering. I mean, I guess neither of them are tinkers anyway... point is, the little *bastard* hid himself in the walls and has been been playing Dubstep at all hours of the day and night. We can't find him, and we can't block out the noise. The Rig is frustratingly echoey. I have no idea how he made a bong that peels fruit, plays dubstep, is self cleaning, and makes him fucking invisible to trackers and sensors, but he did. His ass is already grass, but he's going to a nice containment site in the future to think about what he did once we find him. It's been over a week.

Armsmaster is having a midlife crisis, and I regret to report that he's taken up spear-throwing instead of his usual equipment. He keeps overpowering them and sending them through the armored firing ranges, and my *office* is next to the firing range he likes to use. I'm starting to think it's personal, frankly. Random chance does *not* allow for that many spears to the spleen.

The worst of them is Vista, frankly. She took my fucking Thai food, and I can't retaliate like I can with Shawn- who is just *loving* his new job title, by the way. He was crying real tears of happiness when he came to thank me for his new job, the poor man was unable to speak he was so moved! He's been so busy since they released him from that hospital stay from the *accident* that occurred shortly after that I haven't been able to drop in on him. He really shouldn't have tried me without his items, I do so love my tazer which sadly *was* still set for brutes after I had to restrain Glory Girl earlier. He was fine, eventually. Goffacea was mad at him so he had to heal the long way.

This has been rather horribly long in the tooth, and is only a *fraction* of my day to day life. Send help, or at least a barrage of missiles to sink this tin can of doom and paperwork, where the boss makes me write Goblin porn (I still don't know what an ovipositor is in terms of shape, nor do I care to ask) and the so called heroes are rabid glitches in space-time that steal my fucking lunch *and* my good weed.

God, I hate it here. I don't think I'll ever leave.

#worm #worm rp #wormblr #being Intern 682/unkillable minion is suffering #Bakuda Does Not Have A Doctorate And Has Big Feelings About It #Lung refused to give her uranium so she went hero #we have also refused her uranium #the usual gags with Goffacea's cult and the Wards/Protectorate being insane #i swear i dont hate Dauntless #but hes just a guy without his tools and brute rated tasers surely exist #so Intern gets an office nemesis #someone please make a rp blog of him for that #it would be GREAT

[buchanans]

MAKE ME CHOOSE — @sgtbuckysbarnes asked: Steve + Bucky or Sam + Bucky

#marveledit #stuckyedit #marvelgifs #marvellegends #marvelheroes #usermeemo #tumblrusercassie #steverogersedit #buckybarnesedit #usertix #* #steve rogers #bucky barnes #make me choose #this took so long i'm literally in tears at how ugly it is #*artsy