#this took... so long. it's by far the most complicated thing I've animated so I'm really proud of it!

[lc-holy]

Conférence Masterclass 808 (Translation)

I've taken the liberty of translating the conference that took place last year with the writing director of Miraculous (Sébastien Thibaudeau). It was only made public when someone posted a video of the conference a short while ago.

In this conference, Sébastien Thibaudeau will talk about the creation of Miraculous and his work on the series. He is joined by Chloé Paye, a new scriptwriter working on Miraculous season 6.

Sébastien talks a lot and repeats himself a bit, so the summary can be a bit confusing.

I strongly advise you to go and listen to the video if you understand French. There are a lot of details I'm going to leave out, and Sébastien is very funny.

Photo belongs to mlbfanfr on twitter.

Please be respectful in comments or tags. If you want to debate on things related to this conference, please make your own post. I apologize if there are any mistakes, I'm French and I'm not fluent in English.

-12 years ago, Sébastien arrived at Zagtoon, a studio that was just starting out and had yet to produce and broadcast any series. The producer (Jérémy Zag) and Sébastien hit it off and decided to start working together. Zag decides to give Sébastien total freedom over his projects. Sébastien then decides to put the spotlight on scriptwriters, because in this profession they are unfortunately poorly paid and never stay on the same projects.

So they produced a cartoon called Kobushi. A little-known series that did rather well, even if it didn't stay on the "Gulli" channel for long. The scriptwriters and producer were happy with the end result, as it was produced in a very short time.

Jeremy Zag then proposed another project, which he thought was quite good, but which he was unable to sell to broadcasters. At the time, the project was called "Ladybug". No one was interested, as the project was aimed more at an adult audience than a children's audience. Sébastien had to make sure that the project could be broadcast on Disney and TF1.

There was only a "trailer" also called "Ladybug" (but you'll find the video under the title Ladybug PV) animated by Toei animation. At the time, Sébastien had not yet been hired by Zagtoon. It was Jérémy Zag who convinced Toei animation to work with them (no mean feat, since Toei animation doesn't work with anyone).

So Sébastien started working with Thomas Astruc (the man who wrote and created the "Ladybug" project). At first, he didn't want to work on this project because he found it complicated. Thomas wanted to make a series for adults, but at the time, it was very complicated to make a cartoon for adults. What's more, they didn't have enough money to take on such a project. Sébastien finally agreed, but there were some changes to be made, which Thomas accepted.

-What Sébastien appreciated most in this project was the romantic comedy, the love square between the two main characters.

To meet the requirements of the cartoon industry, "Ladybug" had to be set in a neutral universe, in other words, in an imaginary country or the USA, but Zag, who loves Paris, declared that the cartoon had to be set in Paris.

In the end, Thomas Astruc's entire project was discarded, leaving only the love story between the two heroes and the city of Paris, where the story was to take place.

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-Sébastien explains how he writes Marinette's first dialogues: He says he talks a lot in real life, so he writes Marinette like him. She says out loud whatever she's thinking.

For Chat noir, he makes him tell his father's jokes. Something TF1 doesn't accept. The TV channel went so far as to refuse to validate the Bible (a collection of information on the series and episodes) until it had removed the sentence: “Chat noir makes jokes”. Sebastien has therefore removed the sentence, but will continue to make Chat noir tell jokes.

-The writing director's job is to get the producer, creator and broadcaster to agree. The series broadcast on TF1 and Disney are very different. TF1 wants series whose story can be told in a single episode, unlike Disney, which wants series whose story spans several episodes.

Sébastien and TF1 agree that Miraculous will be a series with one story per episode, a "Formula Show".

He cites the example of Dora the Explorer episodes, where every episode is the same: Dora goes on an adventure from point A to point B, she has to find 3 clues, then she meets Swiper, she sings a song to make Swiper go away, she uses the talking map to get from one place to another, then Dora manages to get to point B and the episode ends.

This episode format is used for children, to give them a reassuring framework, as they build themselves up through repetition. That's why series like Dora work so well with young children.

So Sebastien sold the Miraculous series to broadcasters as a formula show. A person gets angry, is akumatized, then marinette transforms into Ladybug then frees the person from the akumatization and… The End.

It's also for this reason that Marinette tries to confess her love for Adrien in every episode, but is unable to do so.

But he tried to go against what he had planned with TF1, by slipping little extra stories into certain episodes. Audiences were receptive to these slightly hidden stories. The TV channel even asked Sébastien if there really were hidden things in the series, but he denied everything. Thanks to the positive reception from the public, TF1 agreed to develop the characters of Marinette and Adrien and flesh out the universe a little more.

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-Once the bible is written, they have to write a script. But first Sébastien, as writing director, needs to know the mood of the series, and to do this he calls on Thomas Astruc, the series creator. Thomas is a great fan of classical painting. A single painting can tell a complex scene with lots of detail. He wants the episodes of miraculous to be like these paintings, there will be very few shots, but in a single shot a lot will happen.

-Sébastien explains that one of the things Thomas wanted to convey in the series was emotion. They didn't want to do what a lot of children's cartoons do, which is to beat the bad guys and win at the end of the episode. They wanted to tell kids that it's normal to have negative emotions. We can also become better people, learn from our mistakes and so on. It also reassures TV channels by setting up scenes that are repeated in every episode: people get angry, people akumatize then people deakumatize, end of episode...

Once the TV channels had been reassured, they set about writing a script.

-Sébastien asks Thomas to write the ending, as they're not sure the series will work. They also wondered what the aim of the series was, and what they wanted to say to the children. The two of them sat down in an office and wrote the ending, which turned out to be just the end of an arc. He even adds that now that they've written a lot more, it's important for them to write in advance so that everything is clear to them.

-The first season was written by 19 authors, from home. He found it interesting that the series was written by several different authors, even if some of them didn't quite understand the premise of the series. One episode that Sébastien particularly appreciated was written by two “autrices” (I think it's weird to say “two female authors”, so I'll use the French word): the refletkta episode, with the story of Juleka who couldn't get into the photos. (Note that all the episodes were proofread by Sébastien and Thomas).

After that, they kept a few people on to work together on the scripts for subsequent seasons.

Sébastien explains that he keeps a close eye on the production of the episodes, to make sure that everything that goes into the picture is as faithful as possible to what they've written in the script.

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-The kwamis exist thanks to Toei, who wanted funny little animals to sell plush toys. So the scriptwriters had to find a way to integrate kwamis into the story.

-(Again, Sébastien advises people to check out the Kobushi series if they can still watch it somewhere, or ask the leaker who leaked the whole of season 5 to give them the episodes (that's a joke, of course)).

-Sébastien talks about the Ikari gozen episode, which could have been a total failure because the storyboarder didn't fully understand the scenario. Sébastien asks Zag to redo the storyboard, which will add 10 weeks to the episode's deadline. The storyboarder admits that he's always done storyboards mechanically, without worrying whether the episode is good or not, whether the jokes are funny or not. Eventually, the episode was redone by the same storyboarder, resulting in the episode we all know today.

- They still have a lot to tell with Miraculous, to the point where they're wondering if they'll have enough seasons to tell everything they want to tell. Sebastien says there will be a season 6 and 7, and probably a season 8 and 9.

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- Chloé Paye met Sébastien when she was looking for an internship. She had never worked in animation, and knew nothing about Miraculous. She tells us how the scriptwriting team works. Each time, all the scriptwriters in the room have to be convinced of the script. They can sometimes spend hours on details to get everyone to agree.

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- The driving force behind the series is that there must always be a secret between Marinette and Adrien. The lovesquare can never be broken, otherwise there's no series. Sébastien knows that some people are worried about this. Will they continue the lovesquare for another 4 seasons or more? How will they evolve? Sébastien says not to worry, they know where they want to go.

-It takes them 14 to 16 months to produce an episode, but it's often much longer due to unforeseen circumstances. And they don't work on one episode at a time, but on several at the same time. One episode takes a long time because of the 3D animation.

One of the things that's complicated with Miraculous 3d animation is that they can only display 3 characters at a time on screen, whereas the series requires them to display many more characters. It's also very difficult to correct animation errors, as this takes a lot of time.

-The TV networks were very surprised by the success of miraculous. They didn't think adults and children alike would watch the series. The TV channels were a little confused because they usually make series for a specific age group, but since miraculous had people of all ages watching, they weren't sure what to do.

- Sébastien says he's very happy that miraculous inspires a lot of people to create things, like writing fanfiction, however he's not interested in it because he doesn't want to be influenced by certain fans who would love to see certain things in the series.

- Writing direction also means paying attention to how the characters speak. They all have their own way of speaking. For example, Adrien will never say "j’te parle", but rather "Je te parle".

- During the writing process, the writers sometimes act out scenes to make the dialogue more natural. This is what happened with the episode "Gang of secrets". They felt that, with the success of the show and the pressure it was generating, they needed to write something to relieve their stress. So they wrote about Marinette and the enormous pressure she was under to keep all her secrets. The final scene, in which Marinette tells Alya that she's Ladybug, came naturally when they performed it together.

#miraculous ladybug #ml writing team #Conférence Masterclass 808

[scr33ch1ng]

So,

There really is nothing on system littles. And what I mean is, despite how long I've been searching I can't find much that helps us actually raise a child. System hosts will mention it, sure, or they'll have a specific alter who is great with kids. But we don't have any of that, and I bet other systems are struggling with this too. So, I'm compiling what I've learned in the past year or so and sharing it as an attempt to help.

This is written from my experiences with my little brother, a traumatized headmate around 10 years old. This might not apply to everyone.

Traumatized children require constant reassurance. They might be easily scared or startled by anything, and hold irrational beliefs that everything will hurt them (me too buddy). They can be the most vulnerable and emotional part of a system. This makes them really important, and in a unique position. They DEMAND attention. Even if they are quiet, if they are dissatisfied, it will come back and bite you in the ass. They require patience and special consideration.

You have to make your child headmate feel safe and comfortable. This is easier said than done. It's a lot more complicated than simply buying some toys and watching cartoons. Children have emotional needs, we all do. They need to feel love and feel like they are part of a family. This is why communication is very important. Communication is different with every system, and we communicate via a variety of writings, pinterest boards, dreams, co-fronting, and more direct but vague ways of throwing emotions at each other, and asking questions and receiving a vague response. This is all to say that even if you literally can't hold a conversation, there is many ways to talk to each other.

In order to meet your littles needs you have to know them first. You can assume the basics, yes, but that will only get you so far. Children also aren't known for their excellent communication skills, so this is a process. My little benefits from a pacifier, which was easy to figure out. But it took longer to realize he also wants his own clothing, and he refuses to wear black because it's a color that is worn too frequently by other alters, and he needs to feel like his own person. This might be a bit ridiculous. A color is just a color, right? No one is going to die by wearing black. But to him it is very important, and he will be distressed if he is not wearing clothes comfortable to him.

And the way our system works is it's easy to feel another alter's distress, so there is no point in wigging a systemmate out for no reason. You want to work together to reduce stress. It makes an easier time for everybody.

Anyways. You will have to make compromises. You make compromises just by being a system. I adjusted our living space to be more "child friendly". I removed the animal bones we had on display. I don't buy decor that my child alter would find scary, even if it's a horror movie character I like, even if I think it's not that bad. If you can make your little feel comfortable even by one percent, it's worth it. I adjusted our room to feel more cheerful. I have a shelf of easily accessible toys. I decorated our house more with cute things. Fridge magnets, goodwill figurines, a printed photo of a puppy, anything to make your syskid feel like this is also their space will help .

This is all I have for today. Thanks for reading!

#syskid #little alters #child alter #actually plural #dissociative identity disorder #osdid #actually dissociative #if you!! have any information or comments or anything lmk. but be normal please.

[flaringfoxsoul03]

Hello hello!! I was wondering if I could request a romantic matchup for Obey Me, if you're ok with that of course.

I'm a trans man (he/him), demisexual and bisexual, I'm an INFP-T and a Cancer sun + Virgo moon. I see most people describe me as kind and gentle, and I do my best to be a good support, sort of the "mom friend". Though I also tend to be overly critical of myself and others, though I try to keep my thoughts to myself. I'm also a bit of a perfectionist, I get burnt out of things if I'm not immediately good at them, and I like having a daily schedule I keep to.

I love drawing, sewing, crocheting, baking and sometimes reading. I like repetitive tasks with a high reward, so I really enjoy hand stitching and shiny hunting in pokemon. I also enjoy journaling out my thoughts, and in past relationships I've often written out my own short poetry and sent them to my partner when I've been thinking about them.

I get nervous around loud people and big crowds. I like staying home most of the time, as that's where I'm most comfortable. Though I do like quieter places like cafe's, libraries and walking in the woods. I struggle with anxiety and ptsd, so in a relationship I need to feel safe and seen/heard, I wouldn't do well with someone untrustworthy or emotionally cold.

I think my biggest love language is words of affirmation, though I also highly value quality time and physical touch. I'm not very big on gift giving, as I don't really see the need for it since my partner would be all I need, really. I'm not the best conversationalist, but I do my best to make sure my partner knows I'm there for them, and I want to be reassured that they're there for me as well.

Appearance wise, I'm about 5'3" in height. I have a tannish skin tone close to Mammon's, I have short curly hair which is colored dark brown, and I have medium brown eyes. I often dress in dark academia fashion.

Some things I like: animals, high fantasy (like d&d), collecting gemstones and stationary, the colors green and yellow, pokemon but especially the pokemon that often get overlooked like maractus, dark chocolate, vanilla cake, tea of any kind, iced mochas

I don't think there's many things I outright hate, but I don't like playing scary games or watching horror movies, and I'm allergic to long haired cats but still love them anyways.

I apologize for getting to this so late! Just so much has been going on for me, nonetheless I wish to grant you a matchup of an Obey Me creature! Is demon, angel, or man? Let’s go check it out!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I match you with…

Solomon!

——————————-

Hear me out, humans aren’t all that bad. Just the majority of us suck. Imagine living with humans like that for thousands upon thousands of years. Solomon is problematic at best and disastrously devilish at worst, not someone you’d initially want to date after hearing and first meeting said sorcerer. But I promise, it’s a beautiful slow burn romance~. All the trials and tribulations you’ll go through together and become more united than the jumbling mess he first left you in

He may not immediately show it off, but he’s definitely is heartfelt and emotionally connected to himself, but not very well with others before you arrived in the Devildom. I’m pretty sure, hun, first talking to you required nabbing your phone and talking to you to get on Lucifer’s nerves (spoiler: it worked very well). I bet, since your mom friend instincts kicked in, you knew he was instantly bad news. It took the second year of the exchange through texting after the first year ended to finally end up with this guy. He’s far too complicated for his own good to be matched up with him immediately, but eventually (with a little help from Asmo mostly because he was done watching you two squabble with all that potential love in the air without being recognized also everyone else was begging him to finally get his Masters together) you come together and form a new relationship that you navigate not so seamlessly, but it’s with him

You both are into a lot of the same things, especially after you introduced him to some of your favorites like Dungeons and Dragons (spoiler: explain it’s a board game to Lord Diavolo next time you try to bring it up after the last disaster and how Lucifer still isn’t over it) and general high fantasy related things, it allows Solomon to incorporate its odd methodical challenges into his experiments. He loves gifting you gemstones, but he likes to turn them into little hide and seek games with the gemstones every time he does get you one, makes it much more interesting and fun for the two of you

It’s canon: never let this man make you anything, and I mean ANYTHING. Your shady sorcery man can make purple soup without the food coloring purple. Just tell him you favorite restaurant to get said food, trust me, you will not get far in teaching this man to even use a coffee maker. Rumors have it that he once made the coffee maker at school to float up and away from him, the Little Ds had to go retrieve it because it was stuck on a chandelier

The immortal being we call Solomon is not all that wise. Emotionally speaking, he’s still trying to reconnect to something he’s detached himself for anyone else other than a select few for thousands of years. So of course, he’s slow to know your emotional needs right away, but he’s not stupid to not see your obvious tells. He just didn’t know what they mean at first, so his first reaction is to poke and prod. He’s just that curious, not actively trying to make it worse, but that is unfortunately where it’ll head to first. Don’t worry though, he’ll develop and method that works for the best for many scenarios after he causes this whole fiasco. I mean, every location scenario when you’re coming down hard in the feels? He’s got at least three default plans to try so you’re not feeling so terrible anymore

Solomon tries very hard to keep your love and good side, though he’s not very good at it at first. But he believes you’re his piece he has been missing for thousands of years. His teasing yet mischievous loving nature has you falling head over heels for the shady wizard. He feels grateful for withstanding trials and tribulations for your relationship to flourish into the beautiful magic he couldn’t recreate even if he tried

——————————

And follow ups are:

Simeon

And

Satan

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Surprise update! I’m so bad with consistency! With bunches of love, that’s all folks!

~Fox

#obey me #obey me! shall we date? #obey me solomon #obey me shall we date #obey me shall we date solomon #solomon #obey me matchups #obey me shall we date matchups #obey me simeon #obey me shall we date simeon #ob solomon #ob simeon #obey me! #obey me satan #obey me shall we date satan #ob satan #simeon #satan

[fictionkinfessions]

I miss discussing books with Fischl.. debating the major themes and who shouldve been with who and which scenes were well written and which the author rushed just to finish the book. I miss digging out random books on the most obscure topics to prove that the author didnt research thier source material well enough, and Fischl groaning and telling me that it doesnt matter because the inaccuracies made the story fun.

I miss having to explain complicated plots of the books to Bennett. Then having to tell him that no, whatever mystical plot it had isnt actually real, and no Oz talking just like the animals in the book doesnt mean all animals can talk. Ect ect ect.

I miss when Fischl and I got to meet Xingqiu. And we tore into his book like little demons. And he appreciated all the criticism. He even took notes.

I miss him staying in Mond for a few weeks and joining us for a few book discussion sessions.

I miss mom gently shaking me awake in the early morning after falling asleep in the library studying.. I miss having to lecture her about not overworking herself with her permanent injuries. I even miss her laughter as she dismissed how serious it was. I noticed pretty easily when she leaned extra heavy on her cane. She thought I didnt. But Im her son, and what kind of son would I have been if I wasnt as smart as my mother. Adoptive or not.

I.. miss a lot right now. But. Unfortunately? My newly discovered life is an au. One that I've never seen anyone else dabble with. One I created myself from rightful anger over my original timeline.

I wish I could say I was new to this feeling. Of having sourcemates of your loved ones around you who dont even recognize you? Because youre not the version they remember? I suppose thats how kinning obscure/original au's goes though. Nobody ever remembers you properly. Been through it too many times. This one isnt new. But it hurts less at the moment I'll admit that.

Short explanation is I'm Razor. Sure don't sound like him with how Im talking but- Well the new au is a bit stronger than Razor's original timeline, so theres alot less third person talk and more full sentences. I never got lost this time. Parents left me in Varkas care after they died, he passed me off to jean and Kaeya because hes a fucking deadbeat who doesnt understand kids unless he's teaching them to hold weapons, and Lisa adopted me after she returned from Sumeru.

It's a fun timeline so far. definitely a step up from the original. It's nice not wanting to strangle a man over leaving me in the woods for a decade. (Yeah og tl is NOT happy abt that one, Varka. Its all I ever scream abt when Im shifted.) It's nice having a Razor shift that doesnt make me feel braindead or angry (really can hardly think in the normal ones, when I do its about how idiotic Varka was.)

I just wish other people seemed as interested in it as I seem to be. At least my friends don't seem to be responding much when I ramble about the new memories.. I dont think anyone has thought of this au. Almost wish other people would acknowledge what Varka did to canon me so this kinda au would exist a bit more.

Maybe after the festival next patch people will open their eyes a bit more.

Anyway- This went on much longer than I intended, ended up rambling when I just wanted to miss my loved ones hah- Sorry for the long post everyone.

~Razor Minci 🐺📚 (Please leave the last name out of the kin tags mpc, its a timeline specific thing, canon name for proper tagging is just "Razor")

#fictionkinfessions #fictionkin #razorkin #genshinimpactkin #orphaning cw #death cw #child neglect cw #canoning issue #asphyxiation cw #repetition cw #long post #mod party cat!

[sol-draws-sometimes]

new asks huh... sure: 2, 4, 9

HEHEHE!Wow are you the same anon from last time, keep picking one's I ramble on! (It's fine tho, love rambling) Here are the OG questions, feel free to ask more!(can you tell I love sharing my thoughts)

2. Thoughts on Veganism

I have pretty complicated thoughts on Veganism but I think the TLDR of my thoughts is that the idea that being Vegan is a good thing while not everyone has to/even can do it themselves are thoughts that can coexist. There are lots of valid reasons why one might not want to be vegan such as health(physical health such as allergies or mental health such as previous experiences with EDs) or culture. I don't believe in moralizing food, and also humans are literally omnivores. At the same time, it is something that is better for the planet and if it is something you know you can do, one could do their part. There is also the thing of if you are the type of person who's like "I'd be vegan except for X,Y, and Z) then just do that. For me personally, I'm mostly pretty good with food, I have no alllegreis and I have become a less picky eater over the years. However, my whole life I've had fluctuating appetite problems where I'm fine most of the times, but then I'll hit a period of time where my appetite just drops to the floor and I have manage with what I can, and my main safe foods are chocolate milk and eggs(no vegan). But, being vegetarian is something I could do in the future I think, rn with my current life circumstances I don't think I can, but it's definitely a long-term goal of mine. The one problem I think is idk if I'd make exceptions for Cuban food? or when I'm visiting, cause Cuban food isn't super vegan/vegetarian-friendly but that's a future problem for me to deal with(at least frijoles are vegan, and maybe Manteca can be swapped out in certain pastries?)

Also, I think it's possible to engage with animal products while acknowledging that they came from an animal and not do it carelessly. I specifically have pretty conflicting thoughts on leather, but I think I've landed that I'm okay with buying leather as long as I am certain that I will use it well until I literally and physically can't no longer. For example, the character shoes I bought for choir 2 years ago are shoes I wear all the time and I plan to wear them until I literally can not anymore. And totally feel fine using thrifted leather products, so I think when possible that would be my first choice.

I still have a lot to learn about veganism but yeah, don't moralize food, humans are also animals they also deserve to live fulfilling lives and if it's something possible for you by all means do it!

4. Mythetical Creature you think/believe is real

Sorry I'm boring, I don't think any are real, tho ghosts being real would be cool! Or like unicorns/mermaids! Maybe dragons, but Idk if I want to deal with the real-world implications of that! Or Vampires! They're pretty fascinating to me!

9. Do you have a skincare routine(and how many steps is it)

Wash face with face wash at night

That's it, I probably should wash my face in the mornings, and I should probably put on sunscreen every day, but alas I don't. But I brush my teeth and wash my face every single night!!!! So I'm proud of myself for building that habit! Well, I'm one of the few ADHDers that never struggled with brushing my teeth at night cause it was like "a law" I had to do it before going to bed, but face washing was a habit I formed when I was in high school. (It took a couple of tries but it finally stuck one day) I find building morning routines harder cause "do X before sleeping" is easier to do than "do x in the morning" especially when I'm groggy, have other responsibilities, need to go to school, etc. Actually, I've been trying to add flossing to my night routine and so far that's been successful! Anyway, future me will find a way to create a morning routine, and when I do, it'll probably include washing my face and sunscreen.

#sol talks #sol asks #it me! #my post

[desib717]

A chance to really talk

I just think these two have a lot of things they need to talk about.

After over a week of spending most of my free time on this, it's finally done! Truly, this is why I'm going to college for animation

#this took... so long. it's by far the most complicated thing I've animated so I'm really proud of it! #also expect to see this a few times because I'm going to bump the hell out of it because i deserve it #Nuts and Dolts #Penny Polendina #RWBY #Ruby Rose #Mechanical Rose #my art

[eryiss]

Summary: Freed and Gajeel were total opposites in every way, only connected by the guild. When they were forced to train together under Makarov's orders, they expected antagonism and mistrust. Instead, they were given a lesson in how quickly opposition can turn to attraction. The issue: let the budding relationship simmer away, or let it explode. [Freed x Gajeel Multi-chapter]

Notes: Hi everyone. Another big chapter today. The first part has some graphic smut, so feel free to skip to the line break if you want to avoid it. Hope you enjoy :)

Links: FFN, Ao3, Chapter List

Chapter Eight - The Tournament

Day Seven: Sunday

When Freed woke up, he thought he might be dreaming.

His head was resting against Gajeel's chest, cool and hairless. He could feel large hands running through his hair, and gently scratching at his scalp without too much pressure. His limbs were tangled up with Gajeel's, both of them without any clothes. The gentle vibrations of Gajeel's heartbeat was a pleasant sensation that made Freed smile a little, not moving to open his eyes.

The previous night had been… indescribable. Freed was a man who kept things to himself, and his past was one of his most guarded secrets. Yet sitting in the spring with Gajeel, he had felt compelled to say something. Something instinctive inside of him allowed for vulnerability, and there had been something so freeing about letting Gajeel know what his parents had done. It was more of a burden than he sometimes thought, and having Gajeel both listen to him, and seem to take his side in his own somewhat brutish way, was wondrous.

And then, of course, there had been what followed. The reason they were both in Freed's bed.

Freed was by no means a virgin. He'd had his fair share of partners, but he preferred to sleep with a man he cared for, meaning it had been some time since his last time with a man. Gajeel had been, by quite a considerate margin, the most passionate, all-consuming lover that Freed had been with. He somehow managed to balance a rough, domineering energy with shocking tenderness and the lightest of touches. The press of his strong body against Freed contrasted incredibly with the soft kisses and grazing knuckles.

It had been a night of body-shuddering, sheets-clenching, mind-melting sex.

"Hm," Gajeel purred a little. "Thinkin' about last night?"

"What makes you think that?" Freed spoke, voice sleepworn and croaky.

"'Cause yer naked, wrapped up real tight against me, and if it ain't yer dick pokin' my thigh then I'm real curious about what it is," Gajeel taunted, still scratching at Freed's hair and giving it a little tug. It gave him a flashed memory of being on all fours, Gajeel fucking him while yanking at his hair with cruel strength. "Yeah, yer thinkin' about last night. That good huh?"

"You certainly know how to treat a man," Freed chuckled; he didn't care to lie. Gajeel was jaw-droppingly good in bed. He ran a hand down Gajeel's strong body, grazing his dick. It was just as hard as Freed's. "As do I, it seems."

"Fuck yeah ya do," Gajeel was unashamedly grinning, and Freed chuckled. Gajeel looked down on him, grinning without repentance. "Want another round?"

"You think you can take it?" Freed quirked an eyebrow, smirking. "You were rather energetic last night, I wouldn't blame you if you're needing some time to let your muscles recover."

"You sayin' you think I've pushed myself," Gajeel cackled. "Pretty-boy, I was holdin' back."

Oh, that was a thought. If that were true then what would Gajeel be like when he let himself go? He would be an animal, and Gods would Freed like to witness it.

After glancing at the clock to see they had more than enough time before they would need to leave for the tournament, Freed pushed himself up. The movements shifted the sheets to the side, revealing both of their naked bodies, and Freed swallowed at the sight of the man below him. Muscles rippled, piercings gleamed, and hair spread across the sheets. Gajeel was grinning up at him, horny and expectant.

Straddling the dragon slayer, Freed leant down so their bodies were gliding together. Their dicks rubbed hard, and the cool steel of the rivet piercings that decorated Gajeel's shaft made Freed sigh. This man was made of metal, and it was intoxicating. Freed was addicted.

"You gonna ride me, Pretty-Boy?" Gajeel rasped. "Gonna ride my cock?"

"Ride you?" Freed chuckled. "Perhaps if you'd given me everything you had, I'd treat you. But as you were holding back, I don't think you've earned it," Gajeel whined in protest, and Freed laughed. "You'll enjoy what I have planned, my dear, I'm quite sure of that."

Before Gajeel could complain or question him, Freed pressed their lips together, rolled his hips, and pressed Gajeel into the mattress by the shoulders. Gajeel groaned through their kiss, and Freed felt him shudder under him as he ran his hands over Gajeel's stomach and chest. He grinned a little, pushed himself off of Gajeel and relished the groan of annoyance. He began to slowly pepper kisses down the man's body, starting at his chest, going lower to his abs, then to his naval. Gajeel sucked in a breath and Freed relished it.

How had things changed so much in so little time?

When his lips hovered above Gajeel's dick, he looked up at Gajeel with the most devilish smirk that he could muster. Gajeel looked at him as if breathless, and Freed slowly lowered his head down and licked the tip of Gajeel's aching cock.

"Holy shit," Gajeel gasped. "Y' don't have to. I know the metal ain't for everyone-"

Freed plunged Gajeel's dick deep into his mouth, deepthroating him in a single movement. The feeling of the fat, long dick, filled with cold, harsh metal, filling him was incredible, and he gagged a little around the fullness. He took every inch of the man's dick, forcing Gajeel to maintain eye contact with him. Gajeel let a small 'oh shit' slip out and fuck did it make Freed's dick twitch. He was very reactive to praise.

Swallowing the man's length, Freed began to raise and lower his head, and Gajeel moaned. The sound spurred Freed on, and he began to bob faster and faster, choking and moaning over the man's hard dick.

The taste of metal drove him wild.

Gajeel suddenly froze, let out a spew of curses, and his hands forced Freed's head down on his cock. Freed choked, and a moment later the brilliant sensation of hot cum filling his mouth overthrew everything. Gods it tastes so good.

Freed came without warning, spurting his own cum onto the sheets. His eyes shot open, and he continued thrusting Gajeel's dick deep into his throat. His thighs were trembling with the effort of remaining on his knees while he milked all of Gajeel's cum into his mouth. When he looked up, Gajeel was staring at him lust-struck and seemingly amazed. Freed smirked over the fat cock in his mouth, gave it a final teasing lick, and pushed himself up.

"A suitable replacement for a ride?" He teased, voice hoarse from the throat fucking.

"You just came?" Gajeel gasped, seemingly wonderstruck. "I didn't even touch ya - you didn't even touch yerself - and you came real fucking hard. Just because you were sucking me off?"

"It seems so," Freed smirked.

"Oh Pretty-Boy," Gajeel's tone held mischief and seduction. "I'm gonna fuckin' ruin you."

"Will you?" Freed asked. "Well, we've an hour before we need to shower, so perhaps you should start now."

Gajeel had launched himself onto Freed before he had finished speaking.

——

"Gods dammit," Laxus grunted the moment he saw Freed. "You too, huh?"

Freed had walked into the guild, wanting to speak with his teammates after a week without contact. Evergreen had been at the bar, Bickslow was nowhere in sight, and as such Freed had walked to Laxus at their regular table. He had intended to ask as to how Laxus' week with Loke had been - the natural flirt wasn't an obvious easy pairing with someone as socially… complicated as Laxus - but the blonde had looked at him with an expression that was immediately annoyed. Freed didn't know why.

"Me too?" Freed asked, sitting opposite Laxus at their table. "Care to elaborate."

"You hooked up with your teammate too, didn't you," Laxus grunted, seemingly not pleased with the outcome.

Freed immediately stilled. His and Gajeel's night together was something that they hadn't spoken about with any seriousness, but they both had decided to keep it private. They didn't leave marks in places where they could be seen, they had tried not to look as though the dynamic of their relationship had been turned on its head when they had gotten into the guild, and Freed had even gone so far as to apply a pain-killing rune on his ass. He hadn't wanted people asking why he had a slight limp.

There was the issue of the piercings Freed now had, and the runic tattoo over Gajeel's exposed arm, but they could lie about that. It could have been passed off as a trust exercise or bonding experience. Fairy Tail was known for doing things with more intensity than required, their body modification could be seen as that happening again.

"What makes you think that?" Freed asked, cagey.

"You stink of iron and his cologne. Bet he stinks of you, too," Laxus huffed a little, and Freed frowned. He should have considered that... "You couldn't've at least showered after you did it, huh?"

"We did," He said firmly.

"Together or apart?" Laxus demanded. When Freed didn't answer, Laxus knew and rolled his eyes. "If it's gonna be a regular thing then you're going to need some stronger soap. Don't want to know every time he's been in bed with you."

"I suppose not," Freed chuckled. It was then when he remembered what Laxus had said in greeting, and frowned again. "You said 'me too' when you realised me and Gajeel had slept together. Have you and Loke started something?"

"What the fuck! No," Laxus exclaimed, before grunting. "I could've had him, but I didn't want him. No. Bicks and Gray are fucking as well."

"Really?" Freed frowned, looking over the banister. He scanned the room and his eyes settled on Gray, who was sitting on one of the many benches with Bickslow's arm around his shoulders, arguing with Natsu. Bickslow and his babies were offering words of support in the argument, and Bickslow was grinning widely. "How did that happen?"

"You remember when Bicks said he'd take his clothes off every time Gray did?" Laxus asked, and Freed nodded, vaguely remembering something of the sort. "He did it, apparently Gray was into it, and they started banging on the second night," Freed looked back at Laxus, who was frowning at him. "Dunno why that's a surprise considering what you and Gajeel did. Thought you didn't like each other. You aint the type to hate-fuck."

Freed thought for a moment. The shift from seething hatred, to tentative friendship, to what had happened the night before didn't exactly make sense to him. The piercings, runes, unison raids and demonic influence didn't make things easier to understand.

"We challenged our preconceived notions of one another, and found kinship," Freed said in explanation. "I would like to know why you seem a little huffy about it."

"Because I know you're not gonna fall into bed with a guy who's hot just because you wanna sleep with him. You're a guy who sleeps with someone they care about, probably only with a guy you could see yourself being with for a long time," Laxus shrugged. Freed didn't disagree, but didn't see how this was relevant. "If he's gonna be around you for a long time then he's gonna be around me for a long fucking time too. I'm gonna have to talk to him, get to know him, all that crap. Gonna have to do it with fucking Gray as well. I don't need that shit. Got enough friends."

"So your aversion to our relationships is because you dislike people?" Freed chuckled, and Laxus nodded. "So, not because you're still madly in love with me then?"

"Fuck you," Laxus gurnted, but grinned.

"I expect that you might say that if you were still interested in me," Freed teased, and Laxus rolled his eyes. "Though I expect if we were still together and you said that, you would be begging for it rather than demanding it. You were awfully needy, I recall."

"You know what, I'm glad you found him. You can piss him off rather than me," Laxus muttered, and Freed chuckled. Laxus' expression shifted to something more sinceer. "He good for you?"

"I think so," Freed nodded, smiling a little. "Unusual, I'll admit. But good."

"And yer demon ain't been fucking around?" Laxus looked serious now, and Freed understood why. The blonde did sometimes have a tendency to blame himself for the demon, even though Freed felt all the fault lay in his parent's actions. "It ain't done anything today. It gets bad today, right?"

"There was an incident in the week, but it was sorted before anything could come of it," Freed said, not wanting to go into details.

"You sure?"

"I am," Freed gave an honest response, and Laxus nodded a little.

For a moment, they both sat at their table. Laxus was drinking a tankard of beer while Freed polished his sword in preparation for the tournament. Freed had to admit that, although he had intended for his and Gajeel's relationship - whatever it was going to be - to be a secret, he felt warmed both by how Laxus hadn't questioned his closeness to Gajeel with anything more than curiosity, and how he had accepted the fact that Gajeel might be a part of their lives that was going to stay.

That felt nice too. The idea that Gajeel would be a mainstay in his life, and in the lives of their team. He wondered how Gajeel might interact with his team. He wondered what it would be like to return home with Gajeel after a night at the guildhall, drunk and cheerful. They might stumble into bed, and just laugh as they fall asleep side by side.

Freed would enjoy that.

"I'm sorry, I've ignored it long enough," Laxus suddenly said, and Freed looked towards him. "What the hell is with the piercings? You lost a bet to him or something?"

Freed just laughed, and decided he would tell Laxus the story.

——

"And for the final fight of the day, the one you've all been waiting for, the battle for the championship," Makarov was yelling into a microphone, his voice echoing around the clearing behind Fairy Tail's guildhall. "On the left, we have Bickslow and Gray! On the right, we have Gajeel and Freed! Two teams that have proven themselves to be incredibly powerful over the day, crushing all competition before them. Are you both ready!"

Fuck yeah Gajeel was ready!

Today was his day. He'd woken up with the memory of fucking Freed hard all the damn night, only to have Freed wake up in his arms ready for a morning of more. When they'd gotten to the guild, he'd heard stories about teams that just hadn't worked out because they let their arguments get in the way, and it made him realise how fucking close he and Freed had been to ending up as another disaster. And throughout the tournament, the natural comradery that he and Freed had quickly developed had burst out and they had seemingly decimated their opponents in every match.

Now, all they had to do to win the prize was to beat up the Puppeteer and the Stripper. It was going to be easy, and Gajeel was already planning on what he would do with the prize. After seeing how Freed lived, Gajeel knew he couldn't stay, so the money was going towards a new place.

And then, they'd also get to make a forfeit for the overall losers. He hoped it would be Natsu. He was gonna make the flamebrain loudmouth his personal fucking footrest for a month. Maybe he'd even get a throne, just to piss him off more.

Freed would look good sitting in a throne.

He'd look better sitting in a throne naked.

But he couldn't think about this now. He nodded that he was ready, as did Freed, Gray and Bickslow. He needed to be in the zone to get the victory. He shouldn't underestimate Gray and Bickslow, who seemed to be almost as in tune as he and Freed were being. Maybe having sex with your teammate made you work well together? Who knew?

"And begin!" Makarov yelled.

As they had with each fight, Gajeel ran forward while Freed started casting runes. Gajeel allowed iron to replace his skin, and he extended an arm to land a punch at Gray. Gray blocked it with a shield of ice, which shattered and made him stumble. Gajeel pounced on the misstep and rammed his iron fist into Gray's stomach, knocking him into the dirt.

Before he noticed, Bickslow's dolls were above him and circling quickly. A beam of magic struck down on him, searing pain that he couldn't identify. It felt like fire and ice and lighting all at once. Gajeel hadn't fought against Bickslow before, so the burn of his magic was unfamiliar, and all Gajeel could think to do was cover himself as best he could with his iron arms and wait for the spell to end. It was hurting like fuck, but he was trapped in the spell.

Suddenly, it broke. Looking up, he saw runed implanted on the dolls. He grinned.

Freed was now fighting with his sword, with Gray using a weapon made of ice to parry the blows. They seemed well matched, so Gajeel turned to Bickslow who was looking at him with a manic expression. Bickslow raised a hand and made a beckoning motion, and Gajeel grinned. This would be fun.

He launched forward, going to punch Bickslow. The other man jumped back a few times, and Gajeel grunted with each missed hit. He had heard BIckslow was an acrobat, and he was dancing rings around Gajeel. His physical attacks anyway.

"Iron Dragon's Roar!" He yelled, and a beam of dragon slayer magic spurted from him.

Bickslow dodged it, of course, but Gajeel had wanted that. As Bickslow made some comment that got drowned out in the fighting, he had allowed Gajeel to target him. Thrusting his fist forward, he punched Bickslow in the jaw and made him stumble back. Gajeel didn't miss the opportunity he'd created, and lurched forward to pummel more punches into the man, only some of which his dolls managed to deflect.

Suddenly, a hammer made of ice slammed into Gajeel's head.

He stumbled back, wishing he had fully covered himself in iron. He looked to see Gray standing over Bickslow protectively, with a few spurts of blood from where Freed must have hit him. He could also see a small glow from one of Freed's runes on Gray's arm. He didn't know what the effect was, but he felt a swelling of pride. That was probably kinda stupid, but fuck it. His boyfriend was a badass and he was gonna be proud of it.

Was Freed his boyfriend? They didn't speak about it. Gajeel wanted to be Freed's boyfriend.

Before the thoughts could spiral, Gajeel felt Freed's hand on his shoulder. The fight had broken for a moment so they could all catch their breath and Bickslow could stand again, and Gajeel felt a fizzing on his arm, where Freed was touching him.

"It's immunity," Freed murmured, but was smirking. "Be prepared. This will be intense."

"Come on baby!" Bickslow yelled across the space. He was grinning with his tongue hanging out. "This ain't the time to be whispering sweet nothings into his ear."

"You're right," Freed smirked, and magic seemed to flow out from him. "Let's make this fun, shall we."

Walls of runes shot up around them, and the new rune on Gajeel's arm glowed and pulsed. Suddenly, Gray and Bickslow were being pushed into the ground in the same way Gajeel had been earlier in the week, and Gajeel grinned at the sight. They were taking this seriously, and Freed wasn't afraid to pull out some nasty tricks. Good.

In tandem, Freed and Gajeel began their assault. Freed started to cover their opponents in different types of pain runes, and Gajeel began slamming his fist into their bodies over and over, loving the feeling of the punches connecting.

Fuck this felt good! Brutal and unrepentant and-

This was all too violent. This was meant to be a friendly match, why was he enjoying this so much?

Realisation struck him, and Gajeel turned to look at Freed again. The man's demonic eye was glowing and a mist of magic was forming around it. Again, the demon had been influencing them both and making them more cruel than normal. Adrenaline was still running through Gajeel and there was a loud voice in his mind screaming at him to keep going, keep hitting, make them bleed and bruise and burn! But that was the demon, and who knew how bad it was for Freed.

Gajeel looked up, and saw that the full moon was parting the sky. It beat down on them, unimpeded by the clouds and hitting Freed directly. He quickly remembered that today was the shortest day of the year and fuck Freed was losing control.

He needed to stop this.

Suddenly, a dome of ice covered Freed, clearly from Gray. Gajeel didn't spare him a glance, because Freed was a priority, but he saw the walls of runes falling down. He felt the new rune on his shoulder suddenly disappear, and his gut started to flip. Was that Gray's magic cutting him off from the runes, or something more.

The fog from Freed's eye was getting thicker, and covering more space. The dome was quickly filled with mist, and Gajeel couldn't even see Freed inside of it. What the hell was happening? Was the ice making it worse? Magnifying the moon's effect somehow? Was that how it worked?

"Stop!" Gajeel yelled when he saw Gray running at him. "Fuckin st-"

The ice exploded.

Freed wasn't standing there anymore. The demon was.

Power exploded, knocking every mage watching the fight to the floor. Gajeel scrambled and failed to keep himself upright, and he was flung to the dirt. Dread filled him, because even though he had only seen Freed's demonic form standing there for a second, he knew that Freed wasn't in control.

"Gajeel Redfox," A voice like Freed's, but warped and mutated and cruel echoed through the courtyard. Everyone was watching, but Gajeel was transfixed by the demon. "Did you like the little dream I sent you? The one where I told you what would happen if you attempted to claim what belonged to me. The one that made it very clear that this body is mine to play with. The one that you ignored."

What the fuck. What the fuck!

The dream had been from the demon. The dream where everyone was dead or nearly dead and they were trying to kill Freed and Gajeel couldn't do anything. The one he had so desperately been trying to ignore. The dream was from the demon!

"The message was ignored, so perhaps I should be clear," The demon walked towards Gajeel, slowly. "You should learn to leave well enough alone. Because this body is mine to toy with. And as you've disrupted that, I intend to fix the issue."

A tendril of black magic - the same black magic that had hit him in his fight against Freed - shot out from the demon's claw. It coiled around Gajeel, who could only scream as a pain like nothing he could imagine filled him. It was every aspect of agony condensed into a single feeling which was designed to explode on his skin. The pain was overwhelming, and Gajeel only barely recognised that he was being lifted off the ground, the coil of darkness wrapping tight around his neck.

"You should have left him alone," The demon snarled at Gajeel, dragging him closer. Gajeel could see the fangs, the scales, the cruelty. "He's so much more fun when he's alone. And he will be again, soon enough."

The coiling darkness tightened. It was going to kill him.

He was struggling to breath now, and the demon forced him to maintain eye contact as his life was sapped away from him. He tried to struggle but there was nothing he could do.

"Freed, if yer in there I want you to-"

"He won't be able to do anything," The demon chuckled, and Gajeel was thrust forward so his nose grazed the demon's. "He's as good as dead. The only difference is, he's still conscious enough to watch what's about to happen."

Gajeel had never wanted to kill something before. He did now.

Before he could retort, a flurry of manic lightning shot from the sidelines and slammed into the demon. It winced, turning towards where Laxus was standing, now covered in lightning and with fury on his face. Gajeel struggled, hoping that the distraction would be enough for him to escape the coiling darkness, but the grasp of magic seemed to get tighter. He gagged a little, and his vision started to turn black, but he kept on fighting.

Lightning shot towards the demon again, but this time the vivid yellow turned to jet black, and the demon seemed to consume it rather than being hit by it. The demon started to walk towards Laxus, and Gajeel felt the binds tightening around him even more. Fuck, he was going to get crushed to death.

"You all wish to fight, it seems," The demon said, looking around at the array of mages ready to pounce. His eyes settled on Gajeel, and it grinned. "Let's make your dreams come true, shall we."

Fuck. Shit!

The magic coiling around Gajeel suddenly disappeared, and Gajeel was dropped into the dirt again. His muscles ached and his heartbeat was hammering. He did his best to get back to his feet so he could do something to help Freed, but his body had been sapped of energy and he could barely get to his knees. When he looked up - panting, bleeding and arms shaking with effort - the demon was looking at him with sadistic glee. Runes shot up around Gajeel, a cylindrical prison identical to the one that he had been trapped in in his dream.

Gods, it couldn't be happening. His dream had been awful and it was going to come true if he couldn't do something. But what the hell could he do?

The members of Fairy Tail started trying to attack the demon, with Laxus, Evergreen and Bickslow taking the lead. Natsu was soon on his feet, as were Mirajane, Gray and Elfman. Whether they knew what was happening or not, Gajeel couldn't be sure, but something innate inside of him wanted to scream at them to stop. Attacking the demon wasn't going to get Freed back, it was probably going to get them killed, and dammit this wasn't how to get rid of the demon. It was a blight on Freed's soul, not on his body!

Magic welled up around the runic prison, and Gajeel stumbled to his feet. Fire, lighting, dust, ice, water, and pure magical chaos all flew towards the demon, and yet with a wave of it's hand, the demon dismissed it and countered them all with ease. They needed to stop; this wasn't how to save Freed!

Gajeel's runes started to glow.

Energy suddenly coursed through him, unnatural and unfamiliar. As chaos unfolded around him, Gajeel found himself transfixed by the glowing lettering on his arm. Magic - runic magic, not Dragon Slayer - was filling him now. It was powerful, addictive, and something new.

With a punch, the force of which was stronger than Gajeel had ever managed before, he managed to shatter the runes keeping him in place. The demon turned to him, face without emotion but a snarl ripped through it's throat. Gajeel felt adrenaline coursing through him like he never had before, and he raised the arm covered in runes, purple magic flickering from the exposed skin. For only a second, the demon flickered back to Freed, who was clearly trying to fight.

Freed was still in there. He had a chance.

That's what these runes were for. Not just marking. Not just a coincidence. They were Freed's magic, anchoring them together so Gajeel could pull Freed back from the edge.

"What was that?" The demon snarled when it took over. "What did you do?"

"I just figured some shit out," Gajeel grinned, walking towards the demon and covering his body in Iron. The runes still glowed. "Me and him, y'see, we're soulmates. I know, he knows it, and our magic fuckin' knows it. And yer a sadistic motherfucker who's been eating away at him for far too fucking long now. Not anymore. So I think it's up to me to cleanse his soul."

The magic erupted inside of him, and scales of iron covered him. His teeth grew sharper and his magic roiled inside of him. His dragon force was taking over, more powerful than it had ever been before. Runes covered every inch of his body. He glowed with the minging of his magic and Freed's, and felt more powerful than he could have ever imagined.

At that moment, he was a monstrous force of nature. Nothing could stop him.

With every step he took towards the demon, it's grasp on Freed seemed to lessen. Even being in Gajeel's overwhelming presence seemed to make it's dominance over Freed flicker back and forth. Freed was fighting the demon's control, and his body mutated back and forth between monster and man.

His eyes met Gajeel's, and a look of wonderment and relief filled his expression. Freed grit his teeth and managed to hold onto control, if only for a moment. That was all the time Gajeel needed.

"Let's sort this shit out right now," Gajeel proclaimed as he stalked towards Freed. "I'm yours and yer mine," He was chest-to-chest with Freed now, and wrapped a hand around the back of Freed's head, holding and anchoring him. "And as long as I'm still standin', that demon ain't got a fuckin claim on you. You understand me. Yer fucking mine!"

"Your damn right I am," Freed whispered, and had the smallest of grins.

Gajeel pulled Freed to him, and kissed the hell out of him.

Magic of cataclysmic power exploded around them, pushing everyone but the two of them to the ground. Gajeel dragged Freed as close as he could to him, his draconic body melding with Freed. The runes painted onto Gajeel were burning with the most addictive power that he had ever felt, and it was as if the feeling Gajeel had been unknowingly hunting for his life had suddenly been bestowed upon him. This moment was something he was destined to do.

The darkness that the demon had forced on Freed seemed to be burning away. Even Gajeel could feel the force of something wrong leaving Freed, and he pulled the man closer to him as the spirit seeped from Freed's soul.

As they kissed, a cloud of sentient shadows rose up around them. They pulled apart with the overwhelming force of evil looking down at them, searching for another soul to take over. Without needing to speak, both men turned to the demon's smokey form and raised their intertwined hands. Magic shot fourth without effort nor complication, and Freed's runes entrapped the demon while Gajeel's iron destroyed it.

Another unison raid, which came to them like second nature now.

"It's gone," Freed whispered, pulling away. "It's actually gone."

"Yeah it is," Gajeel agreed, pressing his forehead against Freed's. "It ain't ever hurtin' you again, y'hear me. Never."

"I know," He grinned, elated. "Gajeel, I lo-"

He passed out in Gajeel's arms before he could finish.

#Gajeed #Freedjeel #Gajeel x Freed #Freed Justine #Gajeel Redfox #Fairy Tail #Fanfic #Writing #Multi Chapter #Chapter Eight #Word count: 5.3k

[doorbloggr]

Friday 17/9/21 - Media Recommendations #18

Content:

MONTERO; Lil Nas X

Rosario x Vampire; Akihisa Ikeda

I took a break last week because I've hit a bit of a creative hump. It's not so much that I haven't been up for writing, it's that I've been writing a long complicated plan for my next session of D&D as a DM. But I've come to this Friday with a couple of things to recommend that I have not necessarily started this week, but think they're interesting enough to talk about.

MONTERO (Call Me By Your Name); Lil Nas X

Sometimes, music can be soft, and beautiful, and put you at peace. But sometimes you just need a song that's hard as fuck, and sexy, and horny. And Lil Nas X is really good at sexy music. MONTERO is a fun song about open up your soul to having fun and being gay as fuck. There's a wealth of queer anthems with a soft, sad, or bitter-sweet aesthetic, but MONTERO is very comfortable about celebrating the sexual, partying side of queerness.

The song also has some deeper meanings too. The subtitle, sang during the chorus, "Call Me By Your Name", is a reference to a 2007 book and 2017 movie of the same name. This book/film was a coming of age story about coming out, and MONTERO is Lil Nas exposing the mainstream to the queer narrative. This man thrives on controversy, and will brute force change the mainstream into letting LGBTQ+ be a part of all forms of expression.

MONTERO is a sinful, horny, party jam. And even if you aren't gay yourself, there isn't anyone I know who dislikes it. Give it a listen.

Rosario x Vampire; Akihisa Ikeda

Sometimes, I pursue manga that has a deep rich world or a thought provoking plot. But yeah sometimes I wanna a silly rom-com with fan service. Rosario x Vampire is a simple premise for a story; an ordinary teenage boy gets transferred to a new highschool, except it turns out all students are adolescent monsters being educated on how to exist in the human world.

This series is what's typically referred to as a "harem" story, in that the main character(s) have multiple options for a prospective live interest. But while many other stories of this genre typically involve an ongoing plot toward the main character deciding who they want to settle with, Rosario x Vampire establishes the OTP in the first chapter.

Tsukune, the human boy, is immediately smitten by vampire girl Moka, who in turn becomes smitten with him. The ongoing conflict is instead a homewrecker of the week format, where a monster boy, or girl, is stricken by Tsukune, or sometimes Moka, and try to take that love interest for themselves. It's a fun storytelling style, that doubles both as a way to build Tsukune and Moka's relationship, while also spotlighting a different type of monster/cryptic/yokai from across cultures each arc. Also unique for a monster of the week based story, it's the girl that goes super saiyan and beats up the bad guys most of the time. So yeah, go women.

I've only experienced this story as a Manga so far, and I'm not finished yet, but I found out while writing this blog post that there is an anime adaptation, so maybe when I've read more of the manga, I'll put the anime on my list. If you've read or watched Rosario x Vampire, let me know what you think. If you haven't, but my recommendation intrigued you, try it out for yourself.

#blog #blogpost #media recommendations #anime recommendations #music reccomendations #lil nas x #montero #montero call me by your name #rosario x vampire

[pascalls]

Hi! I'd love to learn more about Charlie 😊 I've seen you mention that he was an employee of Burns' - what happened to him for him to become a hybrid? I'm also really interested to know how that affected his personality, and his outlook on things, and whether the way people interact with him has changed since. And has he always lived in Springfield? Apologies if that's too many questions (I really love learning about people's OCs 😊)!

You’ve presented me with an opportunity to go into the lore of my OC and now you have NO ESCAPE. WATCH OUT THIS IS GONNA BE LONG.

Charlie has always lived in Springfield, most likely, and is the result of wealthy parents having absolutely no interest in their own child beyond using him as a bargaining chip, attempting to marry him off to another marginally wealthy family so that they can combine wealth and continue to be rich bitches. He was arranged to marry the daughter of the other family, but unfortunately, he’s primarily gay (he has some women exceptions to the rule, but they’re few and far in between). So an arranged marriage would’ve been miserable and terrible. In an attempt to prepare himself for married life, he has a one-night stand with a woman named Carla who accidentally births a little boy, affectionately named Connor. 

Charlie wants to be present for the boy, but urges Carla to keep his parenthood a secret. Their general incompatibility, Charlie’s pre-arranged commitment, and Carla’s eventual disgust for Charlie’s homosexual tendencies keep her from allowing Charlie to truly act as a parent, though she doesn’t waste time in dropping the child off for days at a time for him to look after. Connor grows up knowing his father, but he isn’t very empowered by his mother. As a result, Connor is a bit of a fearful and quiet kid and both Charlie and Carla are at odds. Charlie considered fighting for custody, but did not, for fear that it would throw his whole arranged marriage deal into chaos. Connor remained a secret from Charlie’s parents throughout his childhood.

He got a job at the plant in his thirties so he could at least attempt to learn some sort of independence before being married off (and perhaps learn how to be a provider for Connor without relying on his own parents’ wealth), but with a penchant for numbers, he just ended up being another pencil pushing accountant. Faced with depression, lack of guidance in his own life, his inability to see his son on the regular, and being enormously closeted, he sort of just lived day by day. (Of course, there were some experiments, like his VERY brief one night stand with a particular lawyer, but that ended in a bitter, catty rivalry that carries on to the day.) 

Anyway, my guess is that Burns had it in mind to use some of the plant workers as an attempt to harness the radioactivity that just kind of FLOATS around there to combine animal DNA with human DNA and create super-workers that would be much more efficient and trainable, but would complain less about health benefits. Charlie was just the unlucky first pick for guinea pig. He disappeared at the plant for several weeks while his genetic code got all sorts of messed up and only escaped with the help of the other idiot plant workers that didn’t do their due diligence at locking up the section of the plant that Burns had him tucked away in. But now he looked like a horrible mutant - in his opinion - and he holed up in somewhere in the woods until nightfall. 

Once night came around - it was raining too, which didn’t help - he made a break for it to try and hide out somewhere in the town. Unfortunately, a certain reverend decided to accidentally plow into Charlie with his car and had to drag him home to his basement because 1) he couldn’t tell the cops that he’d just killed someone, if Charlie ended up dead 2) this thing isn’t human. When Charlie eventually came to in Lovejoy’s basement, he decided that this was the opportunity he had to live a new life. Be someone entirely different (though why he didn’t change his name is his own particular brand of stupidity, but luckily, Burns’ little pet project was soon forgotten by the man himself and Smithers is reluctant to give Charlie away because he’s not that invested). 

So he let his hair grow, let himself be more open about his sexuality, and took up smoking and drinking (and a number of drugs to cope with the trauma of having your entire body changed without your consent), and now is the over-the-top, sometimes wildly inappropriate gay lizard you now see today, though he still does his best for his son, whose mother is only marginally aware of anything that happens in town. His parents were told that he had died in a tragic accident and seem to be just fine with that. They’ve not made any attempts to find him themselves and his previously arranged fiance found another man to wed.

BUT HIS NEW LIFE IS STILL NOT WITHOUT ITS STRUGGLES. He falls in love with the stupid sardonic nature of Reverend Lovejoy and constantly works to undermine the man’s religion (though he’s marginally careful about boundaries, i.e.: he would never disparage Helen, nor would he take it upon himself to sabotage their marriage), but he’s relatively unsuccessful. He falls deeper and deeper, further complicating things when he dons a hokey Halloween costume so he can go out and live a life free of persecution because of his non-human nature. He takes on the role of a new-age plague doctor (despite knowing next to nothing about medicine), and gets a job at Springfield Elementary as the school nurse (despite not having any credentials, but who does). 

He regularly attends church - just for the sake of being present in town - and finds an enemy in Ned Flanders who takes up far too much of Lovejoy’s time for Charlie’s envious nature to be satisfied with - and bounces wildly between pining for a man he can’t have and trying to keep himself from constantly throwing hands with Flanders (who has a suspicion that Charlie is some kind of demon presence put on Earth to turn the reverend away from God, which incidentally, might not be that inaccurate). 

Most people in Springfield never knew his name before, and thus don’t make the connection between who he is now and who he was before, but he is careful with divulging too much personal information to anyone. Despite that, he regularly explores intimacy with other men because of his desire to be appreciated, loved, and doted on (which he is most certainly not getting from Lovejoy), including several nights spent with Smithers who becomes a bit of a confidante. On that note, while he does his best to maintain his secret, there are a number of people who know that he is not human, including Marge (a mother-figure to him, despite them being the same age, but she gives him good advice), Lisa (because she isn’t dumb), Superintendent Chalmers and Principal Skinner (both involved in some shenanigans that need a lot more context to get into lmaoo), and eventually, Sam the barfly. 

As he is now, Charlie is constantly looking for some kind of reassurance in the form of affection, but is increasingly frustrated by Lovejoy’s insistence that there is nothing between them, despite evidence to the contrary and heavily influenced by the man’s (and his own internalized) apparent homophobia. (I made an animatic with them several weeks ago and it very much embodies their dynamic.) He buries himself in drinking and drugs to chase away his feeling of inadequacy and his fears of being a good parent, as well as his realization that his parents never truly cared, how he is slated to be relatively alone for the rest of his life, and the fear that he will never be normal again. But he combats this deep depression with his over-the-top personality, at times, and his smarmy, self-absorbed facade of confidence that would shatter if anyone poked a little too hard at it.

AND THAT’S WHERE HE IS NOW.

Thanks for coming to my TED Talk.

#tj talk #oc #simpsona #LONG POST #thetransverseprocess

[greycappedjester]

Hi I'm so sorry I'm just too shy to ask this on ao3 but I was wondering: how is Slade's relationship with Dick? I don't mind them as a ship in general but in the story sometimes I feel like Slade gets too close to Dick and I thought if there was something platonic on his side? I'm sure you wouldn't do that in the story that's why I'm asking if it's only on Slade's side. Sorry if this is a stupid question lol. Maybe it's just because I've read sl/adedick fics before. ^^D

Nah, I’ve actually been waiting for someone to ask about that. So....it’s complicated and will take awhile to explain so I’m putting it under a Read More before I get too long winded with my character headcanons:

This is going to get soooooo long, lol, so feel free to skim. Warning for Gotham in general and Gotham being naturally a bad place for kid vigilantes to grow up in. Also because this explanation gets somewhat dark in character interpretation....

Bonus short story at the end after a really long post.

-------

Alright, so first, I feel like I should mention again that I never watched the Teen Titans animated show past maybe the first two episodes and the movie my friends wanted me to watch that I don’t really remember. (I meant to watch that show, just never got around to it). I say this because I heard that the Teen Titans TV show portrayed the Dick and Deathstroke relationship much differently in a way that’s cool and fine but not something I can see myself really wanting to write about. I know their relationship more from comics where Dick was already an adult (albeit a young adult) when he first met Slade. 

So. Back to my After the Fall of Olympus universe and yeah, I’m slowly getting to my answer. The thing is....the story is entirely in Dick’s POV right now.

And Dick’s absolutely terrible at reading and picking up any form of affection others have for him. He understands it abstractly (he knows people care) but when assessing, he critically underestimates it if he remembers to account for it at all. This goes even worse with people he’s closer to--which is why it took him forever to realize why Jason actually did want to stay with him at the manor and why he still has no idea Barbara is in love with him. Even Kory who was really, really direct about liking him, it took him years to fully emotionally process and respond to that. He’s getting better...but remembering his own value (in others eyes) isn’t something he’s overwhelming good at doing.

My headcanon, he is abnormally good at reading people and picking up basic sexual attraction. He’s good at telling when he’s being flirted with or when people are attracted to him and, honestly, Dick’s charismatic and instinctively a flirt, too.With that, partly from growing up in Gotham with its weird and supremely dark villains, I think Dick very much divorces the two concepts of romantic attraction and sexual flirting in his mind--he’s aware they can go together, obviously with Kory--but he doesn’t naturally pair them as other people probably would. It’s also part of why he just doesn’t get the level of concern Tim has about Catalina.

Okay, back to my point.

The way I write Slade and Dick’s relationship is actually mostly done off screen. But, I think Slade started with approval of Dick’s skills and potential in a clinical/objective view, growing respect and interest (personal but not at all romantic) in him as a person, and much more recently in the story (as in that last conversation he had in Ch. 18), I think Slade realized he has some legitimate attraction and cares a lot about Dick in a way that’s probably romantic.

Slade also is very, very aware immediately that he’s not going to do anything with that and, in a way, doesn’t want to because Dick ever responding to that would be jeopardizing his relationship with his family, his team, his view of his morals (which are so integral to Dick) in a way that would be exceptionally out of character and concerning coming from Dick. In other words, something happening would be a lot more terrifying than nothing happening and Slade cares.

For Dick, it’s a lot more simple. He does not have any romantic feelings there. He does in a somewhat analytical, unconscious way recognize that Slade’s probably attracted to him (probably before Slade noticed honestly) but he’s....well, kind of used to that at some level. More so, Dick doesn’t connect it to emotional care and--like with everyone else--vastly underestimates that Slade does care about him in a way that’s actually pretty selfless for a mercenary. For a romance, your guess is absolutely right, it’s not going to go anywhere in this series but I wanted the undertones and implications to be there in the final third of the story

....But, that’s also more of a later/recent development in that relationship. For most of the story that’s posted so far, Slade sees his relationship with Dick as a lot of respect and even care but not as romantic in any way. I can promise no romantic undertones at all until Dick was already in his 20s because I really, really am not interested in writing underage. (for those curious about Slade’s age in the story, I think of him as mid-20s in his introduction in Year 3 and pretty early 30s here to Dick’s early 20s)

Above everything, they respect each other and would be almost friends if that were possible.

The team and his family doesn’t know any of this.

Anyway, that was long, so here’s a bonus short story from Slade’s view. I write a lot of After the Fall of Olympus short stories in other charcter’s views that I’m not planning on posting until After the Fall of Olympus.

This one’s between Year 5 and 6 and is titled “October 7th”:

-------

It’s October 7th, almost two in the morning, and Slade’s camped out in a somehow still standing bombed out apartment in a no-name village in the middle of a war-torn country.

He’s not exactly expecting visitors.

There’s a knock on the apartment door.

Slade cocks his gun and puts two rounds in the door before, for good measure, adding matching ones on either side of the frame.

He has two seconds to let himself pretend that’s the end of it before the door knob turns to the unmistakable sound of a skilled lock pick. 

Fuck, he’s too tired for this shit today. 

“Geeze, Slade, what if I’d been an innocent civilian?”

Slade’s hand stills on the gun in surprise then consideration before slowly slipping it back into the holster. 

“Kid,” he greets. “There’s no innocent civilians left around here. ‘Specially ones that can make it to my door without me hearing any footsteps.”

“I’ve been working on that.” Dick says, walking into the apartment. He isn’t even wearing his uniform, just plain black military style clothes with the lower half of his face covered by a piece of cloth. He pushes it down and smiles as he presses the door shut behind him. “You did tell me to get better, after all.”

“Maybe I shouldn’t have,” he mutters without much heat. “You getting better almost left me out of a job.”

Dick rolls his eyes. “Please, as if both of us don’t know Luthor could’ve gotten out of those charges in months. If the Light didn’t erase them for him, anyway.”

Slade shrugs. Maybe another time, he’d find the energy to banter back. But not today. Never today.

“Why are you here, Dick? How’d you find me?”

The smile slides off of Dick’s face, leaving behind those far too heavy eyes to belong to an eighteen year old.

“You know I have your file, Slade.” Dick clears his throat. “I know what day it is.”

….Fuck.

It’s not like he expected anything else. Not since the moment he saw the kid. But, still...he doesn’t want to deal with this. Doesn’t want to deal with anything. Today, he just wants to crawl back into the worst, most deserted corner of the world he can find until the hours creep passed and he can find the energy to move.

Instead, he glares. “Good for you. Now get the fuck out, kid.”

Dick grimaces but shakes his head. “Not until you answer a question for me.”

Slade groans and, for a handful of seconds, honestly contemplates just killing him, considers it in a way that he hasn’t since before he even met the kid, back when he was first handed a file by a practically no name organization called H.I.V.E.

He’d regret it later. Sure. He has too much he wants to see out of the kid to kill him in a shitty, dusty apartment. But, that regret would come later. Later, once this day had finally passed.

That alone is almost enough to have him reaching for his gun. Almost

“Grayson,” he finally grounds out, “if you know what day it is, you know I’m not exactly inclined to play our game of hero and villain right now. You want information, find someone else.”

“Good, I’m not here to play either. Only problem is I can’t ask anyone else, you're the only one who knows the answer.” Dick lowers himself to sit on the floor across from him, like a particularly stupid mouse in front of a viper.

And then, he looks up and his eyes are too steady to belong to prey.

“Here’s the question: Do you really want to be alone today, Slade?”

The breath catches in Slade’s`lungs, harsher than if the kid had just punched him.

He pushes the reaction down, already knowing it’s too late, and says in the steadiest voice he can manage, “Yes.”

Dick stares at him, unmoving. “I don’t believe you.”

The air around them is too tight, too burning, and Slade’s being pushed down under it to suffocate. 

He can’t fight it, so he takes it and pushes it back into anger. “The fuck, kid! What do you know?  You said you have my file, yeah? How long have you had it? Because I’m betting you’ve had it since we first met!” He lunges forward. “So, why are you here now, Dick? What makes this year so special? What’s made you decide to pretend to care now? Because whatever it is, kid, I can promise you, I’m not worth it. So, leave!”

By the end, he’s gripping Dick’s shirt, pulling it tighter until the collar has to be digging painfully into his neck. 

Dick doesn’t look away. “No.”

Slade doesn’t look away either. “You know I really think I might kill you right now.”

“You won’t.”

 One of Slade’s hands moves until it’s pressing into the kid’s neck. A single sharp twist and he could snap it. “So sure?”

Dick nods.

“And why’s that?”

“Because I brought your favorite whiskey.”

A brown bag is pressed into Slade’s ribs and the man feels something rising in his chest that could possibly be laughter if it was some other time.

He drops the kid.

He takes the bag.

“Pretty sure heroes aren’t supposed to be contributing to alcoholism, kid.” He gestures to a half empty bottle of much cheaper stuff beside him.

Dick coughs, rubbing at his throat. “Please. With your metahuman metabolism, I bet you can barely feel it for an hour.”

“Depends how much I drink,” Slade counters, eyeing the bottle. “How’d you know my favorite?”

Dick shrugs. “Gotta keep some secrets to myself.”

He fishes out a spare shot glass from somewhere in the black folds of his outfit and pours a small glass for himself. 

Slade raises an eyebrow. “Last time I checked, you’re still 18, kid.”

Dick gives him an incredulous look in return. “Last time I checked, this place doesn’t have a drinking age...or a government, actually.”

Slade hums, amused, using a larger glass for himself. “True, but thought you’d be following the laws of your own birth city a little closer, hero. Gotham’s still at 21...on the record at least.”

“Technically, Gotham’s not my birth city.” Dick snorts and takes the shot. 

Slade tilts his head. “Where were you born?”

Dick pauses, thinking, before offering a sheepish smile. “You know….I actually have no idea. Somewhere in Europe, probably? I came early, the circus was still on tour. One of the lion tamers helped deliver me, used to be a doctor.”

“Always a surprise, kid,” Slade shakes his head, draining his glass. Tasting it in his mouth and pretending it’s enough to wash away the ash.

The next words come before he can stop them.  “...Adeline always wanted two kids.”

Dick goes quiet.

“Of course,” Slade says to his glass and fuck it, just fuck it,  “turns out we didn’t even get the one. Turns out I didn’t get either my wife or my son.”

Fuck, he hates October 7th.

He reaches for the whiskey, ignoring how his hand shakes. “Addy was a soldier, you know? A good one. Of all the stupid fucking ways she could go, I never thought it’d be childbirth. Maybe I should have. Always knew I’d kill her somehow.”

“You didn’t kill her, Slade,” Dick says softly.

“Sure. Whatever,” he agrees, too tired to argue. It’s not as if he hasn’t heard every variation sometime or another. It’s just right now, he can’t quite bring himself to debate about the cause when the end of it’s always going to be the same.

Dick drops the subject and the relief that Slade feels  is immense enough that it’s close to gratitude.

“What was your son’s name?”

“Grant. We were going to name him Grant.” He takes another sip. “If we had another one, we were going to name him Joseph. Or Rose for a girl.”

“Those are good names.”

He shrugs. “Doesn’t matter.”

“Yes, it does.”

Slade doesn’t answer, looking up to eye the kid over his drink. Dick sees it, holding up his own glass in acknowledgement before knocking it back.

“Why are you here, kid,” Slade asks again. “We’re not friends, pretty far fucking from it last time I checked.”

“I’ve got my reasons,” he answers calmly.

“If you’re here to make your usual sales pitch about the virtues of heroism, I really will kill you. Whiskey or not.”

Dick shakes his head. “....is it so hard to believe I just didn’t think you should be alone?”

Slade thinks his skepticism is loud enough without him needing the words.

The look Dick gives him is steady in return. “Think what you want to, Slade, I know what grief feels like. It’s a poison. It’ll kill you unless you find a way to drain it.” 

Dick looks down at his own glass and Slade gets the feeling the kid’s no longer talking about just Slade. It’s still a tossup whether he means himself or the Bat.

Either way, Slade makes sure his next smirk is particularly pointed. “And, look at you. Tracking me all the way down here to try and save my tortured soul. Such a hero.”

“Oh, shut up,” Dick says with an eye roll, pouring himself another drink

Slade cocks his head. “Speaking of, don’t all the good little heroes have school right about now.”

Dick looks up, almost sheepish. “I’m ditching my classes. Don’t tell my brothers, I’m still trying to be a good influence.”

Slade snorts and takes a particularly long swig.

A good influence. As if a single one of his stupid, fucking team doesn’t think the fricking sun shines out of the kid’s ass.

Fuck. What is Slade even doing? Sitting in a run down apartment in the middle of a warzone drinking whiskey with a too trusting kid a decade younger and that he probably should have killed years ago.

But, then, it’s always been exceedingly difficult for him to do what he should---what’s the sane and logical thing--when it comes to Dick Grayson. And, one day--when he doesn’t have the burn of booze sitting in his gut and his chest doesn’t ache like he’s been shot--Slade’s going to take a hard look at why that is.

For now, he’ll just leave it like he usually does. The kid’s too interesting to die yet. 

Dick eyes his shot glass, contemplatively. “This whiskey’s way too overpriced, Slade. It’s practically aged vodka.”

Slade finishes his off steadily. “Shows you have little taste, Grayson.”

Dick laughs and slides the bottle over. “I brought another one anyway.”

....Far, far too interesting.

#atfo #my writing

[skittles1229]

Old Expectations Die Hard (Dashie x Reader Fanfic)

Chapter One: Weird Circumstances

You know your life is complicated when the friend you always complain to says "you never have a dull moment do you?" I sigh as the weight of the world seems to make it impossible to breath. You see recently things have been rough. I lost my job and my fiance all in the same day, that itself was an unbelievable story. I was so upset and strung out on thoughts of what to do that once i got home early from work i didn't notice the extra car in the driveway. i stepped into my home and my own floors felt as if they'd given way when i saw the guy i thought i'd be spending my life with in bed, with my sister... my sister and i hadn't been on good terms for a while and for a good reason! The drugs she took either made her unreliable and selfish or crazy and murderous. He, of course, pulled the its not what you think, id never hurt you, it was a mistake, and honestly i could write a book out of the excuses i heard in the time of two minutes but maybe another time. Needless to say i left. I never thought about going back and to be honest my sister looked more hurt then i was. I took a job in California a few weeks ago and moved in with my friend (BFF Name). They always seemed to know what to say and honestly i truly believe They  knew me better then i know myself. 

California gave me the biggest culture shock I've ever had. I came from Mississippi, the bible belt and the most rural part of the world. California was sooooo different then what i was use to. The weather is awesome. There's lots of jobs for technical people, at least until you're 45 and then you're considered ancient and you can't possibly know anything when some 23-year old out of Stanford tells you that they know it all. (a little bit of sarcasm there) It's a great place to start a new company, money is available as is talent. The risk of starting a company is lower since you can always find a new job The politics are insane, if you aren't towing the progressive party line you should just STFU. If you even once say that Trump has done something positive, or that Obama did something negative prepare for the wrath. Read the stuff behind the recently filed lawsuit against google for a taste of what it's like. Seriously, don't say a word. The state if structurally bankrupt, although the finances look good because so much stuff is off of the balance sheet. The public pension liability dwarfs the "good" part of the budget, and some day it is coming home to roost. Watch out when it does. The cost of living is absurd, really absurd. I'm not talking just a place to live but gas, electricity, haircuts, milk, pizza, you name it. The traffic is absurd too. (can you tell i like the word absurd) The public transit, although usually on time, is a mess. People are pigs, they throw trash everywhere, the cars are overcrowded almost all the time. 

I've got to say, from how much it sounds like i hate California, i actually don't.  Mainly because its so far away from my original family, leaving really helped me start to grow up and feel like maybe i was getting a hold of my life again. Only problem has been getting to my new job on time. I work as a barista and a waitress at a brunch place a good minute away from the apartment. The money is good, otherwise i wouldn't waste my time with the commute everyday. i keep being late to work because i still haven't adjusted to how terrible traffic is and so my boss was "nice" enough to switch me to the later shifts. The hours are long and boring because my shift starts in the middle of rush hour to the slowest hours at the end of the day meaning you have to find things to keep yourself busy with. the only good thing is, we can wear pretty much anything we want as long as its black. all i wear is dark colors so i didn't have to spend any extra money on a uniform and i didn't have to wear the same thing everyday. Today i decided i wear a v-neck shirt that with an emperor waist (body forming) with black skinny jeans and my regular converse. i decided against driving to work and decided it would be far smarter to catch a bus to the nearest destination. My (hair color) hair was done is a fishtail messy braid, i always liked this style because it made me look like i had a head full of hair when in reality i thought i was going bald. 

My personality was a little odd, you see some days i felt like the beautiful nerd who has no confidence and wants to hide away in a hole. other days i feel like a model from Victoria secrets, of course those are the days i get the most tips. today was honestly a mutual day, where id rather be at home in my bed asleep, or listening to music. The bus finally stopped a block away from my job and i sighed obviously not wanting to go into work. surprisingly there wasn't nearly  as many cars as there usually is around this time but i wasn't complaining. i walk in to see that most of the downstairs was empty but whoever was upstairs definitely had a loud mouth. i walk to the back in order to clock in and i bump into melany ( the girl im shifting with). "wow you actually got here on time! Maybe the boss's mood will cheer up." i huffed a little. "yea, i dont know why i thought id need a car in California, say whats with the low level of customers? its NEVER this slow." she looked at me in disdain, "some guys reserved the entire upstairs and we had to make this huge table out of all our tables up there, glad im not gonna be the one fixing it later." i rolled my eyes, i hated when a huge family came in and they just had to move everything around because little johnny wants the sit next to suzzie and suzzie HAS to sit by her parents bc she likes to throw her food on the floor, all fake names but a real situation ive been in before. "well have they at least been fed so that i only have to clean up after them?" she shook her head while hanging up her apron. "nope, they've only ordered their drinks and they are getting those onto trays now." so today was gonna be like every other day. "guess i better go help them take those upstairs then, have a good rest of your day." i walk away and slip on my apron, grabbed one of the trays of drinks while another waiter grabbed the rest of the drinks. Once i got upstairs, that's when i met him...

Chapter Two: Last Will and Testament

          He was sitting on the far end of the long table of people laughing and joking. everyone seemed to be loud and all had their own inside jokes. This guy, he stuck out. i changed my attention to the task at hand, finishing this shift. i hated when people moved all the tables and seating around. all the waiters and waitresses have to go back behind them and look at the layout of the floor to put them all back exactly as they were before. it was a struggle and because of this nobody actually wanted that job so usually the manager gives it to her least favorite workers and i happened to be one. "who all had coke?" nobody answered me so one of the men bellowed out the same line and somehow was able to get a show of hands. i walked around handing  out drinks, catching the lingering smell of strong liquor. i could tell by the end of tonight they would all be wasted and loud. please, just don't make more of a mess then you have to, i thought to myself. i had one drink left on my tray, "sweet tea?" the guy i saw before at the end of the table waved his hand and i dreaded going over there, i always seem to make a fool of myself when it matters. 

     i make my way slowly down the table with the tray under my arm and the tea in my hand. i lean over to sit his drink on the table.."here's your t-" *CRASH* while joking with one of his friends his elbow crashes into my hand sending the tea flying all over me and the cup crashing to the floor, thank god i wore black. he turned around and looked more horrified then i did. "i'm sorry! i'm so sorry!" his voice was deeper then i imagined it'd be. "no, it my fault i'm sorry ill get you a new one." i turned away to hide my embarrassment and walked away really just trying to get away from the situation. i could tell from the silence behind me that all eyes were on me. i ran to the back where the lockers were for the service. i went to the bathroom and stripped the sticky clothes off throwing them aside. i sat on the toilet  trying to catch my breath, my social anxiety had struck me  hard. a feeling of worthlessness and dread fell over me like a blanket. after the past few months i've had just one day without something terrible happening would mean the world to me. i heard a knock on the door, it was melany, she walked in with a towel from the kitchen. "hey, i heard what happen upstairs are you ok?" i covered my breast trying keep myself as unexposed as possible. "oh yea im fine, im just cold, and sticky, and... covered in tea." melany and i made eye contact and both laughed just to lift the dread in the air. "let me guess, all the guys are getting a kick out of watching me fumble again huh?" i said a little less concerned and more annoyed. she rolled her eyes "they are boys, they get a kick out of picking their own nose. we both slid to the floor beside each other, she hands me the damp towel. i get most of the sticky off as possible, throwing my hair up to make it look less clumped together by the sugar. "i have an extra black t shirt in my locker but i don't know how it will fit you. your breast are at least a size larger then mine." i shrugged my shoulders, "who cares ill make do. thanks for your help melany." she smiled her weird anime girl smile and ran to get the shirt from her locker.

     ill have to admit, she was right about the size thing. it was far to small around the chest area but the rest fit fine. after the incident my boss stuck me down stairs wiping tables and sweeping the floor, i dont mind though because i get to experience the day coming to an end with a beautiful sunset over California. i secretly kept the the window to watch as the sun fell from the sky. the sky seemed to burn and darken while the clouds began to glow with the last bit of sunlight left. the sky filled up with burning Burgundy and faded orange and yellows, the tallest buildings seemed to reach for the skyline as if it were a sunflower moving to the last drip of sunlight. moving here had been hard, and this had become one of the things i looked forwards to. living in the apartment with my friend was nice, buts its not the same as coming home to someone you use to lay with every night. sleeping alone seemed so much colder and emptier then i remembered from childhood. my mother would be so disappointed in the way i turned out, in the places id gone and the decision to spend my life with someone who was most obviously the wrong one. she would have told me to slow down and to take my time, that growing up wasn't everything. she would have said love isn't something you just wake up and have, its something you make. i wasn't anywhere close to where i thought id be by now, and i could see that. it tears at my heart everyday, not being able to see her or any of my family. sometimes it felt as if they'd all died in the fire that night. 

     i suddenly heard a boom of voices making their way down the stairs, i hadn't realized how close to closing time it had become. all of them walk out stumbling and laughing at their own jokes, seems they all got a good bit of drinking in, all except one. The guy i ran into on accident seemed as sober as ever, designated driver i think, he was much taller now. he seemed muscular but in such a fitting way for his body. his teeth sparkle because their so white, his smile complimented him best. his high cheekbones made his chocolate brown eyes his best feature. His skin was glowing with a sweet honey hue and before i could notice that i was staring he turned his head. his eyes met mind before i could think twice and that's when i felt the heat rise to my cheeks. weather it be from embarrassment or silly school girl shyness i didn't know . i turned my face away but it was too late, i turned my face a little just to catch a glimpse of him before he made his way out of the door and that's when i noticed his cheeks had gone from a burnt caramel to a rosy color. i felt my body shiver at the thought that maybe, just maybe he found me as attractive as i found him. i shook the thought from head realizing they had began locking the place down. as i helped close up shop and wash dishes i couldn't help but to let my mine wander to all different kinds of thoughts, funny thing was they always fell back to him and his rosy  cheeks. i couldn't help but smile as i felt my heart race at the thought of him, even though id made a fool of myself today i was glad i hadn't ruined my chances. Even if he'd never get with me or i wouldn't ever see him again, i'd still take it as a compliment that he even looked my way. 

     before long we were all outside laughing and talking about today. The manager locked the doors and said his goodbyes. i turn to walk towards the bus station when i see a man standing aside awkwardly between the restaurant and the parking lot. suddenly my eyes adjusted and once they did, the joyousness butterflies came back and the blush suddenly reappeared on my cheeks..

There are lots more chapter after this if you are interested you can find them here

https://my.w.tt/sosFRmianbb

#dashiegames #dashiexp #dashie x reader #fanfictions #fanfic #self insert #romance

[famous-aces]

Morrissey

Who: Steven Patrick Morrissey

What: Musician

Where: English (Active, internationally)

When: May 22, 1959 - Present

(Image Description: a black and white photo of Morrissey from 1992.  He is a young white man in his early thirties with dark hair and eyes. His hair is short and messy.  He has thick eyebrows and a strong jawline. He is smiling very slightly. He is wearing a pale knit sweater. End ID)

Morrisey is one of those world-famous single named singers: Cher, Sting, Prince, Madonna, Morrissey. Perhaps a little Bono as, while he is more ironic and droll than the U2 frontman, he also has a reputation for douche-baggery.  Morrissey is famous for his music's bleak drama blended with bleak humor, sexually ambiguousness, themes of the past and self-reflection, and being an all around "anti-pop idol".

Morrissey made a name for himself as the frontman for The Smiths in the 1980s (1982-87), but has a successful solo career since 1988 with only a brief hiatus from '98-'03.  His most beloved albums include The Queen is Dead (1986), Strangeways, Here We Come (1987), Viva Hate (1988), Your Arsenal (1992), Vauxhall and I (1994), You are the Quarry (2004), Years of Refusal (2009). His most recey album (California Son) came out in February of this year (2019).

He is outspoken politically on, for example, vegetarianism and animal rights and against the monarchy and Americanization. In 2006 a BBC poll voted him the second greatest living British cultural icon.

I admit that while I like the Smiths well enough I had never liked them enough to really follow Morrissey's career, which is odd as I do like the whole punk/new wave/post punk scene very much. But I started listening to him a bit for this and a bit depressing but quite good.

(Image description: a photo of the Smiths backstage in 1984 by Tom Sheehan.  From left to right Andy Rourke [a white man with brown hair and a leather jacket. Below that he has on a shirt with what I think is a crow on it. He has his bass slung around his neck and his hands behind his back. He has his head slightly cocked], Morrissey [wearing a striped shirt with a low neck, long necklaces, and square glasses. He has his arms crossed], Mike Joyce [pale with black hair spiked up and his bangs falling into his face. He has on a Smiths t-shirt and is mostly hidden behind the others], and Johnny Marr [pale with a black mop top with long bangs, he is thin with an angular face, he is wearing a black shirt with the sleeves rolled up. He has his guitar slung around his neck and fingers on the frets.] End ID)

Orientation: Humasexual (A word of Morrissey's own creation meaning "attracted to humans" but I will go into why, in Morrissey's case, it seems to fit under the asexual umbrella.)

I'm breaking my own rule here. Morrissey does not call himself "asexual," but uses his own term: humasexual. But as he defines the term and the nature of his sexual/romantic orientation it fits under the aspec umbrella. At one point Morrissey identifed as a bisexual who "hates sex" and later a "non-practicing bisexual," but be later abandoned that terminology. By the 2010s he was very open on the exact nature of his orientation.

While I would not go up to him and demand he identify as aspec the experience he describes does fit in fairly neatly into our letter of the Alphabet Soup. Again, I would not demand anything of him. He is a human person. Sexual orientation is, in the end, highly personal and individual. Do not be The Guy/Gal/Person. In the end everyone is entitled to name and define their own experience.

It may seem odd that a man who writes a lot about sex/sexual desire in his music could be asexual, but I don't think writing is necessarily indicative of the writer's true feelings.  Morrissey agrees, saying time and time again from his earliest fame that he is writing a general story, not a biography. He says of his lyrics that "It was very important for me to try and write for everybody...nothing is ever open and shut.". Remember, while the artist always leaves a trace of themself in their art it is not always in the most obvious way.

I believe his humasexual might be closer to demi (or perhaps gray) than it is to utterly asexual. Aspec, but not at the zero/zero point, when we get to the quotes section I will explain further.  Morrissey is definitely not aromantic. But he was intentionally celibate until his mid-thirties. It was then he had his first serious relationship, all by his own admission, not being interested in sex much before that.  He still seems to have stints of celibacy. Sex as a "maybe" or a shrug rather than a necessity. And again it took a deep personal connection to his partner for him to even feel the urge to have sex. Indeed, he claimed to "hate" sex before that.

I hope to clear things up in the quotes section when I let Morrissey speak for himself, which he has done, extensively. I included quotes from his most recent public discussion on the matter from 2013.

(Image Description: a more recent photo of Morrissey performing on stage this one in color. He has graying hair now and is slightly larger than he was as a younger man, though he is not overweight. He is just less trim. He is wearing a dark suit. His face is wracked with emotion, eyes closed, mouth open. He has one hand in front of him, open palmed. The other holds the mic to his mouth.  End ID)

“Unfortunately, I am not homosexual. In technical fact, I am humasexual. I am attracted to humans.  But, of course . . . not many.”

-Morrissey in a statement from October 2013 (quoted by Time Magazine. Emphasis in original as it is the same in multiple sources) (I think this should be obvious. Again, labels are entirely up to the person using them and thus I am not applying one to Morrissey, but clearly he could stand under the ace umbrella mspec romantically and aspec sexually)

"[F]or the first time in my life the eternal ‘I’ becomes ‘we’, as, finally, I can get on with someone, Jake [Owen Walters] and I neither sought not needed company other than our own for the whirlwind stretch to come.”  

-Morrissey in his 2013 memoir Autobiography.  (Walters was his first serious relationship.  The relationship began in 1994 and ended in 1996. It describes sentiment echoed by many demisexuals "'I' becomes 'we'" and "finally I can get on with someone". Also the idea of solitude may reflect an aspec relationship.)

"Girls remained mysteriously attracted to me, and I had no idea why, since although each fumbling foray hit the target, nothing electrifying took place, and I turned a thousand corners without caring … Far more exciting were the array of stylish racing bikes that my father would bring home.”

-Morrissey on being a teenager in that same memoir

"I don't recognise such terms as heterosexuality, homosexuality, bisexuality, and I think it's important that there's someone in pop music who's like that. These words do great damage, they confuse people and they make people feel unhappy so I want to do away with them."

-Morrissey in a 1985 interview. (I don't agree with him in the least, my label makes me very happy and I know it makes many other people happy [although I did feel like this before I had my asexual label.] I think he might have been projecting. I think his not quite fitting into anything made him uncomfortable and it shows why he might not be inclined to stick to a traditional label and instead invent his own.)

[Nick] Kent: …[Y]out write a lot about homosexual longing.

Morrissey: I've always said that I leave things very open and that I sing about people. Without limitation. And I don't think that automatically makes me homosexual.

Kent: What about...sexual relationships?

Morrissey: I don't have relationships at all. It's out of the question.

Kent: Why?

Morrissey: Partly because I have always been attracted to men or women who were never attracted to me. And I was never attracted to men or women who were attracted to me. So that's the problem. I've never met the right person.

-A 1985 interview with Nick Kent, quoted by David Brent in Morrissey: Scandal and Passion (2004) (not finding "the right person" seems quite demi to me. He also says that is "part" of the reason. So there is probably a more complicated reason too. Also of note, Morrissey doesn't like Kent [or at least didn't at the time] so odds are he was disinclined to further articulate his most personal life to him. But that is purely speculation and it is dicey waters even speculating that much.)

(Image Description: the album cover of You are the Quarry. It shows Morrissey on a red background holding an old fashioned Tommy gun and wearing an old fashioned pin stripe suit. He takes up most of the left side of the image. Beside him on the right it says "Morrissey, You are the Quarry." End ID)

#lgbtq #queer #asexual #ace #20th century #europe #bi #21st century #modern #english #british #entertainers #musicians #bio #Morrissey

[blondrichclosetwitch]

Today I used the first playlist I ever made, inspired by stella. We called it nusch.

10:58 arcade fire city with no children

A garden left for ruin by a millionaire inside

Of a private prison

I feel like I've been living in

A city with no children in it

A garden left for ruin by and by

As I hide inside

Of my private prison—Commentary on what they’ve been doing to the trees and animals, and my apartment, aka “a bunker in Brooklyn”

Winter dodo’s 11:03–I want a lover and a sister, but we know that's not right (Jakk)

On the outside, there’s no conscience (blond)

Rock n roll star oasis 11:11–

I live my life in the city

And there's no easy way out ( my sitch)

Look at you now, you're all in my hands tonight (the dolls and spells)

11:11 nite mare hippy girl beck—

I'm caught in a vortex

she's changing my style

She's the science of herself

She's spazzing out on a cosmic level

And she's meditating with the devil

She's a never-ending story

She's a frolicking depression

She's a self-inflicted obsession

She's playing footsie in another dimension

11:14 red light fever liz phair—

Lying wide awake in the dark

Trying to figure out where you are

Sitting in your car

Changing who you are

And drowning the thoughts of your life in the music

Scared the lights will turn green

You'll have to be seen

You'll be like anybody else

Scared the lights will turn red

You're stuck in your head

Playin' on both sides of the net You're always listenin'

You're always listenin'

You're always listenin'

To yourself

You're always thinkin'

You're always thinkin' You knew what everybody else Should do with their lives (I don’t think I need to explain these)

From her to eternity iNick Cave & the bad seeds 1122– this is a complicated song to talk about. This played a lot in 2016 and 2017, and from what I remember about it I thought it was about the Tarot Reader, and that she was doing sex Magik to Jack. But listening to this version makes me realize that it was about me. I was crying all the time, partially because Stella was dead and partially because I was being told things that were scaring me deeply. I would walk in circles in my apartment sobbing and singing. It wasn’t a great

Time to be my neighbor. Most of the things I was being told weren’t true, they were stories to break me down.

I should point out at the end of this live version Nick screams “that Lil girl will just have to go “ .

1128 glory Liz Phair—it took me ten minutes straight to get this one. It’s about the glory of God. I know it sounds weird, but let’s just say..shrug. No other being is related with glory when you went to Catholic school for 6 years, imho.

Fisherman’s tale 1129 the house of love —deep blue eyes, petrol on my rose, I feel so lost alive, worry turns to murder, Maybe when we drown

The fish will be our friends, We could use some secrets—-rose was blond’s chosen name in 2017, I kept seeing I was going to drown in italy before I went.

1133 blue Beyoncé—Some days we say words that don't mean a thing

But when you holding me tight, I feel alive (Jakk treated me like a friend most of the time in public)

Forever changed lou reed 1143–this title is on the piece of art that I made in the psych ward, stella loved me to sing

It. Almost More than any other song it seemed to sum up my experience since she died. Haven’t heard it in a long time.

Where does a body end swans 1147–The future's leaking through a shut lead door

In the ruins of a city under the forest floor— reference to the poison they’ve been putting in the earth. This is the 4th

Time that they’ve used poison that I

Know about.

Pluto bjork 1147—-so as far as I can see this is about the methods that were used. First the Tarot Reader did a hex on my stomach, then my nervous system shut down, then they put poison in all of my liquids in Yonkers, and then everything that they’ve done to the walls; The song talks about exploding..heart attacks are mentioned a lot.

Also my address equals 4, and that’s Pluto’s number.

the man who got away Jeff Buckley 1150–Jakk reference

Love like a sunset part one Phoenix 1155–instrumental

50s 1201 the wedding present —I said "I'm over it now"

"We'll make it somehow"

But then, as I came

Oh I cried out your name—at some point early

2017, I was told blond was wearing a brown wig in sex and telling Jakk to call her tinka. I freaked out completely & texted Jakk that he had to keep me

Out of their sex.

1206 smoking section Saint Vincent—“it’s not the end” this has always been blond’s song, I think related to me being told about so

Many suicide attempts at being left.

I think I can 1212 animal collective—Will I get to move on soon?

(Try to stay in tune with what's happening)

I think I can, I think I can, I think I

(Try to stay in tune with what's happening)—-this has always been one of my favorite AC songs. It’s kind of a joke between me and my friends. Can I move on yet? How about now? No? How about now?

Now?

1216 criminal world David Bowie—What a criminal world

The boys are like baby-faced girls

What a criminal girl

She'll show you where to shoot your gun

You caught me kneeling

At your sister's door

That was no ordinary stick-up

For izzy 1222 the love language—Honey you're brilliant

Funny how we can sense in the night

Every time that you smile—-this one has two meanings for me. Jack wants told me that he thought I was smarter then either of them, but I never thought of myself as intelligent because I always had bad grades. The second to me is a reference to surveillance.

Afghan hijr tere ne laayian nusrat 12:34– all I know is all of his songs are about God and the beloved.

Amerykahn promise erykah badu 7:13–I'll give you my nose

I'll give you my toes

I'll give you my eyes

I'll give you my ears

I'll give you my hands

I'll give you my lips

I'll give you my tongue

I'll give you my thighs

Damn near anything you want

Do you see how easy it is

You see what we can do with a little bit of work

And effort people?

“Badu begins to give everything she has in order to maintain her position of “freedom,” which should be a god-given right, as stated in the Constitution. You’ll notice as Badu gives up body parts, they become more and more personal and more and more sexual, representing how much she is being violated as time goes on and she gives up more. “

Bathysphere catpower 719–If the water should cut my life

If the water should cut my line

If the water should cut my mind, set me

Free—There of been so many references to water lately that I finally started to tap in to how important it was, and how blind I was to what I was actually ingesting.

Killing of a flash boy 720 suede — Sh-shaking obscene like killing machines, here we go Think of the sea as you murder me

Murder me, murder me

this is one of Jack’s favorite bands or was when he was younger.

like spinning plates Radiohead 724–While you make pretty speeches

I'm being cut to shreds

Do you remember the first time pulp 729– i’ve told this story

747 climb Tori Amos —He said "Kneel before your judges in reverence

Your penance for the woman you'll become

You knew if you talked there'd be a consequence

Your sentence for the woman you'll become"

Ten days of hell in Satan's cell

752 lou reed dirty Boulevard —Whenever this or moving out by Billy Joel would play, I would have a freak out because I didn’t want to leave my apartment. I fought it tooth and nail.

Apartment story the national 8:00 PM —We'll stay inside til somebody finds us

Do whatever the TV tells us

Stay inside our rosy-minded fuzz for days

8:00 PM we know who you are Nick Cave—

And we breathe it in (the poison on the walls/couch/bed)

The trees will burn blackened hands

Nowhere to rest, with nowhere to land

And we know who you are, and we know where you live

8:06 PM rest of years the national —

They can't see what I can see

I can turn everything around

I can turn everything around

James joints Rihanna 838–

Just making scenes, here come the police

They know about your history

Mojo pin jeff Buckley 9:00–Well it's you I've waited my life to see

It's you I've searched so hard for

This is the first song that I sang in the park. It also has a heroin reference.

#music is the messenger #nusch #a bunker in brooklyn