#this vid took a bit to put together xD

[cookiessart]

Voice claims for my Clone high oc’s :D

#this vid took a bit to put together xD #myart #my art #cookiesart #audio #voice canons #voice claims #voice cast #clone high #clone high fanart #clone high oc #claude monet #mary shelley #oma #ch #artists on tumblr #illustrations on tumblr #flipaclip

[redxblueihateloveyou]

Hiiii!!! 💫💕🌸🥳

Can I bother with a question... I was (re)watching that zhang qiling edit (not today) - 'cause it's so cool, btw- and I wondered if Reboot Xiaoge’s your favourite one...? And if you're up to answering, what do you think about the other adaptations? Especially (our small bean) xiao yuliang's interpretation of xiaoge?

🤗🌺💐🐰💕

Hey, my precious patootie hehe ILY it always makes me very happy knowing that you rewatch my vids <3

lol dang it, I was kinda hoping to avoid this question, just because I feel like I'd find it hella hard to explain some things, but I'll try my best and hopefully it'll make some sense xD

I'll start from afar bc I wanna try to explain my reasonings, since I don't want to go without arguments into such highly debated question lolz. I talked about this a bit in my previous asks somewhere, but not broadly as to why that one guy hit all the right spots.

So throughout the books Wu Xie always does this wonderful thing, where he very tangibly describes the feeling he gets when Xiaoge is near, I mean like the aura around him. And he always somehow does it so colorful, that this mix of safety, assurance, calmness, composure and some things I can't quite put into one noun, that he brings to him, I think everyone who've read the books can recognize as this almost magical "Xiaoge feeling". It's not just the way he acts in some dangerous situations or smth like that. It's just everything. You either have it or you don't. And here goes my first argument... to me none of them, except for Huang Junjie and Yuliang have it.

I mean it's not even the obvious stuff, it's like the way they move during the action scenes, the way they even stand and hold themselves, the way they touch Wu Xie, the tone of their voices (both of which are like soothing as fuck), little things you'd think wouldn't matter, but when you watch it and all the puzzle pieces are together, you're like... fuck yeah, thats him.

Also not really that weighty of a point, but to me there's always a joy to see that the actor who plays the character not only gets what's he's playing, but also loves it, bc it's always seen on screen. Usually when some asked about the character they play and what they have in common for example they answer with obvious things like if some character is introverted they're like "well I also don't talk very much" or smth like that, you know what I mean. When I was watching interviews of Yuliang and Huang Junjie I was just smiling so much, bc they've said such things that made me go "yeah, Qiling is safe in their hands".

In Reboot case working in such close proximity with the author definitely also played a huge role here. Bc it kinda gets complicated in some aspects since the books are written from Wu Xie's point of view and you can't only base your picture on his perspective, just bc it's coming from a person who after being basically told "you're my whole world" goes "I'm just a person he randomly passes by in his long life" in his thoughts. Not only he's utterly clueless and dumb when it comes to all this, that he wouldn't notice the way Qiling looks at him and other things, its also not that kind of book, that would go "I suddenly caught poker face looking at me like I'm his whole existence" (and I honestly don't want it to be that book lmao). So you have to take into the account here stuff like what author says to get the whole picture, bc if you look at that from the point of Qiling's view for example, this shit takes a whole wild turn. So I really loved that in UN and Reboot ways of showing Qiling's feelings were well thought out and fit the timeline.

Bc it also works both ways, when it comes to other adaptations. Like Qiling is very and I mean ETREMELY hard to win over. We all know that it was a very long process of gaining his trust and even longer for him to fall for Wu Xie to the point of him being his everything. So what I want in those interpretations is for them to get at which point of their relationships what Xiaoge's behavior makes sense. I do not need any fanservice if it ruins the character, I'll just hate it. The thing that their feelings didn't come out of nowhere is what I LOVE about this ship, bc I'm not the kind of person who believes in "we love for nothing" thing and love at first sight thing (only "got hots for each other" at first sight), bc thats bull. Wu Xie became his everything after a long LONG process of getting to know each other. At the beginning tho he was the same stranger to him as everyone else. So what Reboot Qiling feels for Wu Xie is not what UN's Qiling feels for Wu Xie yet and what UN's Qiling feels for Wu Xie is not what Lost Tomb's Qiling feels for Wu Xie (which at that point was nothing). And I feel like not everyone gets the fact that you can totally wreck the character if you make him behave not the way he behaved in that particular time. Like for example, if someone would make a MDZS adaptation where at the very beginning of their relationships LZ treats WWX the way he treated him after the reincarnation just because "who cares, it's still LZ", that would be dumb af, see what I mean. So Xiaoge having a weakness for Wu Xie in part one is automatically not a Xiaoge to me, bc a huge part of his character and the thing NPSS speaks a lot about is just how IMPOSSIBLE it is for someone to catch his attention and how long it took Wu Xie to get there. So let's just say to me UN and Reboot Qilings for the first time didn't feel like some mashup or character summary/parody, they were Qilings the way they are supposed to be in that part of the story, bc it was the only times someone actually bothered to coordinate it.

Now as to why I prefer one to another. Xiaoge has this thing... the way he holds himself with other people, that is sometimes intentionally and sometimes unintentionally suppressing.

Like everyone knows that if you're a passerby, Qiling genuinely doesn't fucking care and would in fact be pretty harsh about it in terms of treating people like they do not deserve their attention. He won't be like "please, don't bother me", he simply ignored them like an empty space. He is also like that with acquaintances who in his opinion do not deserve his respect like that girl who went hysterical, bc she was upset that he was the only one who wasn't drooling on her like all other men on the crew, Chen Wenjin, Wu Xie's uncles and etc. He's not openly disrespectful unless they trigger him in some way (usually by trying to act superior or later on for not treating Wu Xie right), but if they do, he will in fact remind them their place in sometimes a very rude way, at times humiliating them in front of ppl bc he looks younger than them and talking starts.

He's always doing things on his own terms and hates being told what to do. Like he legit scared Chen Wenjin just with a look and the tone of his voice when he said "let go", when she tried to command him on the mission and grabbed him trying to lecture him about what he should or shouldn't do. That's why Wu Erbai didn't even try anything like this and let him do whatever he needed to do and equally lead the mission in Reboot. And why the scene where Wu Xie 'commands' "Xiaoge, come back" and he immediately listens holds another special place in my heart. Bc he NEVER and I mean NEVER allows such things to ANYONE.

So here I came to a point of why despite loving them both dearly, my favorite Xiaoge is Huang Junjie.

I have this dissonance with Yuliang's version when to me in many scenes it felt like he and Wu Xie are the same age. Like if he was Xiaoge, but in his 20s. In his interactions with Chen Wenjin the dynamics was turned upside down, with him being okay with her telling him what to do and just in general the way she behaved with him. Same as like I didn't always quite believe him to be on par with older generation or even Pangzi, it just felt like he was truly younger than them. Some scenes that I do find extremely cute just don't fit book Xiaoge at all, I'm talking about some moments like his face when Wu Xie gave him food, or him pouting and many things he's done, when you were going "uwu he's a baby". He just never gives me this feeling in the books ever, not just bc he's 100 years old, but sad fact here.. bc he's simply unable to behave that way. Like in the books you'll desperately want to shower him with love, but he's just... I can't quite explain, it's very sad.

I guess it's just you know these characters, who are like hundreds years old, but look like they're 18? I think you have to be very careful with how you write those, so you could deliver that. And in UN because of some changed dynamics and scenes I straight up forgot about it, until Wu Xie threw some joke like "he's an old man" in front of a restaurant.

In Reboot Xiaoge could make Wu Erbai stutter with one move, put Yuliang's version in the same scene, I just don't think it would've worked. Like I'm trying to imagine him telling UN's Wu Erbai what to do and having troubles already haha. Same as I don't think he's capable to be genuinely mad at Wu Xie, and HJJ nailed it esp in one of my fav when Wu Xie was laughing at Pangzi's joke about him catching cold. The look he gave him and how ZYL just retreated was priceless xD. And boy could Qiling get angry with him in the books!

Otherwise I didn't have any drastic fall outs there, like with Joseph's Wu Xie and Ah Ning's death, because that was just too much of a difference, but there were still moments where it was once again this the same scene completely different emotion thing. He was more tolerable to ppl in general here, more pliable. And 50% of the time he gave me the cute lost kitten type, which I just cannot connect with the feeling he gave me in the books. His personality is a cat type 100%, but like seriously "cute baby" is the last word combination I would ever apply to book Xiaoge, but with Yuliang's version it's easily applied. So small bean he is indeed. With Joseph and in UN it works incredibly perfect to me, but the way he is in UN is at times too gentle. And there are lots of scenes where Joseph himself looked at him in a way "you're too cute, let me pinch your cheeks" kind of way, or the way he like sat down next to him on the coast, he was a bit babying him at times. I can't imagine book pingxie doing that. It's just a whole different vibe, the way he takes care of him, the way he lets him take care of him... it's...uuuuuuuuu another vibe (see, I'm so good at explaining lmao).

It's also kinda funny to me, bc HJJ who's the smallest and who irl truly a kitten never once gave me that feeling on screen for some reason. The one babied and loved by every crew and old ppl, who was cutely hiding behind ZYL's back on set, who won't sue an ex who almost ruined his career bc of how stupid she is, bc he "didn't want to hurt her", who according to staff can't even step on a fly, whom CMH was petting for several minutes after he had to hit him with a prop brick bc he didn't wanna do it lmao. I was just like.. ok, this is hilarious, bc I in fact didn't expect him to be a small bean, so watching all the bts made me go LOOOOL. Probably ZYL acting like a 3 year old helped him transform and the age difference problem got lost lmao

As for other adaptations. You know I can't watch seriously "Lost Tomb", I think some ppl probably have some nostalgic feeling about it, but I'm sorry, to me it's fucking hilarious. Like I've already said it looks like some type of twilight parody thing or smth. Soft damselle Wu Xie esp killed me, bc 1st when he ever was that, 2nd in the first book he's salty af, I don't even know this dude in this interpretation, I was like who's this. YangYang I know him from other things, I really don't think it's his role. I know the script and everything is bad. I know the costume and hair are horrendously funny, but it's just I was watching him in those action scenes and was like no... just I'm sorry but I'm not feeling it. I simply just don't know what to say about the whole thing seriously, bc I don't even know where to start. 10 episodes of some salad finished with one mutilated scene from book 6 for no reason the fact that characters are weird themselves also I can't quite tell, did they really just meet or they imply smth else lmao.. I'm sorry, but I do not get it.

I've given LT2 another try after finishing all the books and I've dropped it half way through, Cheng Yi wasn't even close to how I pictured Xiaoge in any aspect. He in fact didn't do anything OOC or off the book or anything, I just was like "not my Qiling". Happens sometimes.

Explore with the note you already know how I feel about this lol let's just forget.

P.S. To be fair here also maybe we should take into account the fact that some got luckier than other with "at which point" Xiaoge they're playing. Like for example, "Wrath of the Sea" and "Qingling Tree" books which is LT2 is not exactly you can say much about Qiling there, he trolls them there in the beginning (in a brilliant way that was totally lost in the adaptation) and he is there in "Wrath of Sea", but it's not the part that can make his character shine in any way, there's not much things happening there that would make you fall for him or get to know him; Yuliang grabbed the fattest piece bc it's middle several books, when they're always together and his character shines the most in terms of clues about past, opening up to Wu Xie and Pangzi, and there are many many events where you can get the picture of what kind of man he is; Huang Junjie grabbed my fav piece of utter devotion, where he's already fully and wholeheartedly belongs to Wu Xie, that I'm just weak for. So like... there's also that I guess xD.

#answered #jaecomments #zhang qiling #daomu biji #dmbj #lost tomb reboot #i still feel like i couldn't quite explain stuff lol #its a complicated question xD #do not kill me for my i guess weird opinions haha #huang junjie #xiao yuliang #lost tomb #pingxie

[scarlettelathyrus]

This is my Kurama Taeyang Wip along with my Sailor Venus Pullip! This whole craziness started when I began writing a kuranako fic

⁄(⁄⑅ॢ⁄˃̶͈̀⁄௰⁄˂̶͈́⁄⑅ॢ⁄)⁄

I wanted a Kurama Taeyang to go with Sailor Venus, but the don’t make them ;-; So, I made my own! When I got to this part, my buddy @cursedronin​ had encouraged me to post this (2 months ago... I can’t help it when I get nervous!) so here I go!

So this is what I’ve got so far, I wasn’t happy with the wig I made, though it was my first attempt, so I’m working on another that I might post later on. And if you couldn’t tell from the first image, this is NOT a professional job XD Because I watch a lot of Dollightful on youtube (She’s so awesome! I was inspired to do all this after binging all her vids) I took pics of the materials I used when putting him together. https://www.youtube.com/c/Dollightful

I got the body from an Ebay listing sold by pullipstyle: Taeyang (boy Pullip) MIO Make It Own Kit for customization in US. They have a few different ones, but for Kurama I got the Taeyang one.

For the face here’s a list of materials:

Water Colored Pencils - Faber Castell

Pastels - Mungyo Hand-Rolled Soft Pastels

Winsor & Newton Professional Watercolor Sable Brush-Round #1, 1

Winsor & Newton Professional Watercolor Sable Brush-Round #5, 5

Sealant - Mr. Super Clear UV Flat by Mr. Hobby (wear a mask and spray in a ventilated area!)

So I like to give props to my dolls (I’m trying to make the Crystal Sword for Sailor Venus, and already made her a chain, though it’s the Love and Beauty Shock one, which I like more) I decided to make Kurama’s Rose Whip to go with him! (Forewarning though, if you use florist tape, the green likes to come off onto the softer plastic of the dolls hand)

I just went on Amazon and found these for it.

KUUQA 4 Rolls 1/2" Wide Floral Tape

Mandala Crafts Anodized Aluminum Wire in 18 Gauge, Kelly Green

The wire wasn’t very thick, so I had to make three long braids and braid those together to get my end result.

This becomes his hair!

Again I just went on Amazon and found this:

Lion Brand Yarn in Cincinnati Red (Yarn MUST be 100% acrylic or styling it with a flat iron will melt it, any brand is fine) I made the wig based on Mozekyto’s guide for making yarn hair!

https://youtu.be/FdXay72gpS0

Now this one was funny! So a lot of people either print off or color a piece of cardboard and cut it to size for the chips in the eyes. But Sailor Venus has sparkly eyes and I wanted a similar luster to Kurama’s! So, I found this shimmery chip bag! (Yes, it’s goofy but it works!) Another thing that could’ve worked is stickers, shiny wrapping paper, or just nice sparkly paint.

So here is! All put together but no wig or clothes! (Thankfully he has that Ken doll bod or I’d get censored, for sure) His eyes are so sparkly! For his clothes, I looked around on Etsy and found these cute listings by HelloCoolCat

Taeyang Doll Simple Long Sleeves Tee - Color: J39. TC-4 Pink

Taeyang Doll Boots (TY05 series) Color: TY5-5 Chocolate

Taeyang Doll Long Jeans  Color: J23．TJ-2 Deep Blue (These actually have a cute little snap button in the front!)

Yay! Now he’s coming together! (Yes, that’s a coat hanger bent to hold him up, I don’t have an extra doll stand yet XD) But now with the wig on, he’s got some pretty soulless eyes... >_>

Thankfully with these tools, I was able to give him some eye shines and he becomes less scary! (Yes, that’s a straw with a bit cut out of it, and yes, that’s my Sailor Chibimoon mechanical pencil, it had the perfect size ball to make circles on his eyes XD As long as I wash off the acrylic paint, it’s fine)

I used Apple Barrel Gloss white acryllic paint for the eyeshines.

It’s not an exact match, of course, so I’m continuing to work on it and hopefully post better pics in the future! (And maybe actually get a background that isn’t my little cupboard door on a stool, lol)

I want to thank @alicezap​ and Usami-chan (MeilinLuo13) for making materials for this cute couple and inspiring me <3

https://archiveofourown.org/works/415341/chapters/690034

If your curious about the fic I’m writing for this couple, it’s here,

https://archiveofourown.org/works/32061097/chapters/79421536

Everyone stay safe and hopefully you enjoyed looking at my beginner level process :D

#yyh #yu yu hakusho #pretty guardian sailor moon #bishoujo senshi sailor moon #sailor moon #kurama #yoko kurama #shuichi minamino #minako aino #sailor venus #kuranako #yuyumoon #pullip #doll customization

[subarashiet]

lifes been weird and sad , got so much stuff i wanna say dont even know if thats the right subred to but here goes.i m 18 , from Greece , first year in Uni and life is not the way i want it to bei live on my own , rent is being paid by mom and her husband , month pocket money given by dad and by my part time jobat some point in high school i understood that our school years were our most carefree years , tho only now do i really understand itman this post is gonna cramp my fingers shouldve used the pcused to hang out a lot till 2nd year of high school then in 3rd year cause of me studying more i was hanging out less , used to have around 4groups of ppl to hang around then only one , cliche but i wasnt anyone special in school , gotta mention i went to a music middle-high school , only highlights i remember are in 2th-3rd grade trading blows with a girl (think she was 5th grade) ,3rd grade kissing a girl in her cheek then running away from the boy-horde coming after me , 4th grade trading blows with a 6th grader ,6th grade punching a guy for calling names my little sis (we good now see him out we talk he a nice dud) , 9th grade a girl i had a chance with but fucked it up big time , 9th grade breaking a cello almost getting expelled ,12th grade playing bass at a concert in Thessaloniki with a music group of my schooldidnt really have many close friends but there were some from school and other places you can call closer friends , but now even with them i ve started to fade away which i cannot bear but i m the type of giving up and not trying until i m lategot laboratory this morning and this is gonna take a while hope i can get some sleepfeels weird using reddit to express my thoughts i even find it a bit cringy talking to myself but oh welli wanted to visit a physiatrist because i ve been so mentally tired that i think i might have crippling sadness xD but i tried to arrange that back in July-August pre my 18th bday so she said a parent was required to be present so i just kept all the stuff to myselfi was learning classic guitar from 1st grade to 8th still play to this day , in music school i kinda learned h2p electric but didnt practice enough to be able to play good , also know some pianobeen listening to post rock and mostly fate music these past 10 monthssucker for good anime tho i ve been out of it lately havent even finished my summer ones , oregairu has a nice ending from what i got spoiled fromanyway thing is i am sad most of the time , i try not to show it cause i like the stereotype of being the strong guy that everyone can depend on and almost never see being emotional and also like the cool tempered guy type , tho lately i ve been craving a lot of attention that i drop the act of the calm n cool sometimesthings with my parents didnt go to well these past years , only now i can say that we ve finally kinda calmed down , mom and dad started falling out of it around 8th grade cause lots of fighting , big sis kindof took the role of mother while on her teen years , feels like she had it much worse than me10th grade sis leaves home to go elsewhere to start studies for uni , i m left with ma and lil sis back homethen i understand that i have to be there for my little sis which also got in my school that year (3kids-3years difference each) so i tried to assume the role of the big brother but she was closer to her older sister than me , i was closer to my older sister as well , feels like i was doing my lil sis wrong but i cpould relate more to big sis and could chat with her more about stufflil sis didnt open up to me a lot even to this day , she has been a lot more comfortable with me through the years i think cause she told me something important recently , kinda feelsbadman tho cause i wanted to be closer to her and i kinda tried but i think not hard enough cause she didnt seem to get any closer , cried once about it in front of my mother which was the absoluteliest worst cause i didnt want her to see me being fragile jesustho even now that i m not home i talk to her play some among us tried making her start xenoverse 2 that didnt go farhave some friends from school , we would only go all together at internet cafes , but mostly 4 of em would go out togetherin my school i had some friends from scouts tooi have an insta , used to post "cool" pics kinda stopped cause i like looking cool in front of others but i havent been in the mood to try in around a year nowused to be in some conservatory guitar groups with some other kids there , with one girl from there i used to be quite in touch until recently that i stopped seeing her for some reasons maybe i ll explain l8rwe had fun and i really mean it , we used to go on trips to play songs on different cities and stages , our group became kinda known the 2-3 good active years we were active , it still is but these years were the originals , now there are other peoplefucking christ its 2:27started playing in that group with the originals in 2017 till 2019 , we were kids from different ages going from 6th to 10th graders but i didnt understand the different in our ages until recently that i found one of the guys from the group in my cityanother closer friend is a guy from my school , met him in grade 7 still talk to him , used to sit together most of the years pretty neat guy , peculiar character but really interesting kind smart and hard workingman why couldnt my teen years be like shirou from fsn that would be awesomehad entrance exams 4-5 months ago , didnt really go as planned , shooted for Corfu didnt get in cause rather than 15 i got 10 in my last exam so i m still in my city , tho i live alone and go to my local uni insteadJuly 2019 i moved out of my old house moved in with ma and her husband with my sis , stayed there till september then till june-july 2020 i was living with my fathertbh i decided to write this post after watching a vid of Korone talking about Okayu thinking that i ve never been in an actual relationship and that i eould want to experience that but dont know where to start from , losing weight ? becoming outgoing again ? learn how to talk to girls ?i started watching anime back in 2015 on my 3ds i remember watching dubbed Inazuma Elevensince like 2 weeks ago i reached 201 anime completedok i ll stop here for tonight cause i got online uni classes tmrw i keep stimestamps for whenever i finally post this -Tuesday 3/11/2020 02:41used to be around 85-90kg in 12th grade , put on around 20-28 kilos since March 2020 , managed to lose 8-10 kilos in the summer but i m still around 30kilos up from the normal amount based on my height , got a subscription to a gym jan2019 but only managed to get into it for a short period on spring 2019 then autumn 2019 then lost motivation and let go , since March2020 i ve been doing some weights at home , tho when i look at myself in the mirror it doesnt really change how bad i feel about my body , i think my old motivation used to be a girl i used to have a crush on but not surethings with my parents werent all that great and i was mentally better when i would talk with them , they are openminded af and supportive too but puberty makes you see stuff differently like everyone is against you like the world is against you (last one might be true dunno yet) , living on my own now seems to be a bit better but as our Greek ancestors used to say theres no good without bad and the bad in this scenario is that its lonely as fuck , having lived for 18 years with my family it really hits a weird spot , everything feels lonelier now with the virus spreading around not being able to see others as much as we used to , uni doesnt feel nice , many people dont pay attention and its like the second half of 12th grade all over againgot my monthly money 4days ago , went from 200 to 9.28 quickly , when i have money i spend when i dont i m stingy , mostly like to build computers , watch lots of Linus , Paul , Kyle , Jay etc. most of my money goes to buying stuff about computers food , used to give lots of money to internet cafes when i used to hang out with the guys from school , not anymorewith the start of uni we all met new friends even i but i still feel like i am drifting apart day by day , stopped talking to my old girl friend cause i was kinda done with her attitude , called me some names i didnt appreciate because i put up with her attitude , most of the time in her own world , only would really pay attention and try to change herself when it was something she cared about , one of them wasnt her character , but to give the goods of her she was a good friend dont know if i can say she still is a friend or just someone i know , she helped me even with the girl i had a crush on , was really fun on trips with the guitar group , all in all a fun person , thing is i stopped texting her and telling her to go out cause it was 80% me trying and the other 20% her and i think that proved right when i stopped talking to her cause i thought she will see that i m not talking to her she ll think somethings wrong she ll message me to go out and have fun , send me a happy bday message posted some pics of me , didnt send me anything else after , stopped talking to her around the start of October , if i hadnt asked her something about her uni and if it wasnt my bday i dont think we wouldve talked in all of october . last saturday i was working in the area she lives in my city decided to call her sometimes didnt answer tried to suprise her and see how she is by going to her house , noone answered maybe they were on a trip idk , but it feels weird man , in the first half of the year me and a common friend of her and me went out one night , ended up being the bad guy to make her understand that she did something wrong that night , after she left i was left with our common friend talked about stuff and mostly her and i expressed myself , i knew that coming summer me and her would end up at different places so i wanted to tell her all the wrongs with her so that she could finally understand what i ve been putting up against and make her understand that she HAS to pay attention to people around her and that she will meet new people and that she ll have to be careful about her character , used to have a bit of crush on her back in 7th grade , can kinda understand why that went . On the other hand i didnt want to part ways with her with our last words being me ranting , one thing brought the other and she wont be going to her uni's city until early 2021 so i managed to go out with her some more in the summer and september . kinda feels bad to see that almost noone remembered my bday cause i remember in cram school when someone had their bday they would get a fucking cake , dont mistake me i got one , from my ma my two sisters and my moms husband , thing is i wanted to have something happen with friends , nothing happend , around 4 people remembered my bday and the others just send me some happy bday messages after seeing posts from the girl i m talking about .also heres a good song to listen to while reading stuff on reddit Sorrow from FSN by MN64 cant post links from what i understandgonna stop here for now might edit later -Tuesday 3/11/2020 15:15thing is reddit is not the right place to get help and i need a friend but it seems i cant get any from my friends , even my other friend the guy i used to sit with in all middle-high school he has drifted apart , talking more with other of his friends doing other stuff etc , that one time i needed to talk to him he said i ll call you in a while , waitied 1 and a half hour then asked him why he didnt call he said he forgot (i think) , feelsbadmananyway i dont think i m gonna keep editing this i ranted enough , gonna leave the post up for a day or so in case anyone wants to add anything then taking it down -Tuesday 3/11/2020 23:58

#personal rant #confession

[imma-lil-teapot]

Each TMNT Incarnation and Where They Stand With Me :)

(Nervous chuckle) ... Yeah no, I suck at titles. Moving on! 

Y’all can go ahead and skip this part if you’re not interested in senseless rambling and just wanna get to the TMNT fun~ ;) 

Soooooo, I’ve recently updated my Tumblr page to a blog dedicated to all my fandoms (musing, headcanons, writing, gifs, pics, the works, basically anything and everything in relation to them) since I wasn’t really ever doing anything with it other than using it to share pics mostly. But ever since I stumbled back into the TMNT fandom, I’ve been searching Tumblr for fan content and OMGOSH, did I hit the jackpot! Headcanons, fanfics, Turtle x reader stories, so much juicy stuff! Am hooked! Dunno why I never tried searching for similar stuff in the past for my other fandoms! I guess I just... didn’t realize there was so much content here. :O But anyway, I always wanted a place to share ideas and thoughts regarding my fandoms outside of sites like Deviantart and Fanfiction.net, and heck, it’s been here under my nose all this time... Y’all gonna have to forgive me; I’m an old fart. ;P (Insert image of Slowpoke for reference) So without further ado... 

LET’S GET THIS PIZZA PARTY STARTED! 

Imma start this blog off really simple and, as the title states, just give you all a small-ish idea of where each TMNT universe stands (or ranks?) with me, personally... Note the ‘personally’ part so please don’t feel offended if I don’t share the same opinion as you on a particular verse. ^^; I have my own tastes and will respect the next person’s when it comes to them. ;) Also, please beware the typos (which there most definitely will be)...

IN RELEASE DATE ORDER: (Hopefully they’re right)

MIRAGE COMICS~

Imma just say it: I haven’t read any of them yet. :/ There probably are sites out there that would allow you to view them online for free, but in truth, I’ve been a little slack about trying to find any... That may however change someday as I always tell myself I should really seek out the source material so it’s only a matter of time. What I do know, however, is that they’re of course a lot darker than most incarnations (which I don’t have a problem with personally) and I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t curious as to exactly how much darker. X’D The closest I’ve come to ‘knowing’ these Turts comes from watching the Turtles Forever movie and they weren’t in it for a long time so it’s very difficult to say what they actually mean to me, so we’ll just put these guys down in the ‘not sure’ column for now. ;)

1987 CARTOON~

HAHA~ I think any fan of the franchise as a whole knows this little gem! The series that really hit it off and spawned over a 190 eps! Quite an impressive feat for a Saturday morning cartoon! It made its way to TVs the year before I was born, but it would take another few before it would reach our tubes (we’re always a few years behind the rest of the world :/ ) so I was around four when I was first introduced to it and needless to say, I loved it back then! Michelangelo was initially my fav due to him being my older brothers’ fav and the one they mainly spoke of, but it didn’t take long before my favering gravitated towards Leonardo (even at such a young age) and has been that way ever since. ;) But where exactly does the series stand with me as an adult nowadays with so many other verses we’ve been exposed to? I do hold a lot of nostalgia (as many older do) for it, and I mean, come on, that theme song is ageless, and I even started watching a lot of vids involving the original VAs and the shenanigans they get up to and seriously, it’s so heartwarming and fun to see them! But I have to be honest...

It’s not my fav verse, honestly. I will always adore them, of course, because of the nostalgia and the goofiness... But it’s the latter that’s mostly the reason for it being placed a bit lower on the favoritism ladder. While its a fun watch if you want something lighthearted, I still prefer the idea of the darker undertones that comes with being associated with ninjas. It’s just a preference. Plus, the Turtles designs are big one for me, and I’m sorry to say, but I keep seeing these fellas as more frog-like than turtle, despite the shells. X’D So yeah, no big reasoning for it, and even if someone were to ask me if I like these guys, I’ll still say yes, just that they’re not my ultimate fav is all. ;)

Also, we won’t talk about the Japanese Anime Ninja Turtles: Superman Legend or something to that extent... We’ll just let that one be gently swept under the carpet. ;) Only ever saw the trailer for it and that’s all I’ll ever need to see in my lifetime.

1990 MOVIES TRILOGY~

Now funny enough, I really don’t remember ever seeing these movies as a kid, though it’s possible I did and just maybe blocked the memory, but I highly doubt it... So yeah, I saw these movies as an adult already. The first is praised by most fans, and honestly, I can see why: it’s pretty good! :D The acting is very decent and the humour’s brilliant! The two sequels... not so much but still okay. ;) Where they sit with me... Not too far on the ladder again I’m afraid. :/ While I do really enjoy and appreciate the acting and that humour (”I made a funny.” X’D) it mostly comes down to the Turtles designs again... I really can’t see past them being actors in costumes rather than characters. :’( Granted, good actors. ;) And heck, Jim Henson did a phenomenal job! They’re just not really the movies for me is all, even if I do go back and watch ‘em every now and then. X’D I do however melt every time at the scene in the first movie where Raph wakes up in the bath and Leo’s there and apologizing and all... Makes me all gooey inside! X’D The feels are real! Speaking of Leo, though, he sounds even younger than Mikey. Small nitpick, that, but... why? X’D

But yeah, let’s just say, they’re good movies, just, not my favs.

Also, Coming Out Of Their Shells tour... Yeah, I’m gonna just... pretend that doesn’t exist for a minute. 

THE NEXT MUTATION~

Nope.

Saw one ep as a kid and am not interested in seeing anymore.

Although, VA Matt Hill voices Raph. That’s one good thing.

2003/2k3~

Well it wasn’t already apparent by my avatar... Ladies and gents, I present to you... My fav TMNT verse to date! Oh my goodness, where do I even begin with this delicious series?! :D Firstly, animation: so appealing, comic book-y style! Their designs: without sounding pervy, veeeeeeeery appealing (hehehehehe), no seriously, they sometimes have a bitta bulk to them but it honestly works, and dem muscles, and the cool eyes! The VAs: spot on! Perfect! Wouldn’t have ‘em any other way! Make me melt, Mr. Michael Sinterniklaas~ (cough) Their personalities: Omgosh, just yes! So perfect! They’re easily differentiated and yet still work together so well. Leo’s mature and level-headed (well, most of the time ;P ) yet still gets tested a lot and even has a fun side that’s shown on occasion. Raph’s grouchy and violent but is shown on more than one occasion that’s he’s total softie and really does care. Don’s just a sweetheart and freakishly smart and even has slips ups from time to time. Mikey... omgosh, best Mikey ever! So much fun! So hilarious! And just a bundle of energy, but not at all an idiot like he’s sometimes portrayed in other verses. He’s witty, mischievous and just so adorable! Heck, even Master Splinter, April, Casey, the lot of them are just awesome in this series! And wow, they really do lean more towards the source material (or so I’m told) when it comes to the plots! It’s darker than the other previous verses yet still remaining kid-friendly (although I question it at times XD) and omgosh, it’s just everything I want in a TMNT universe! Granted, it’s not perfect perfect, but it nailed it for me. ;) It really showed so lovely character developments, alsortsa different genres, the humour will leave you in stitches, the Turts are all just so lovable, I can’t get enough of them! This series was really my high point and I’ve yet to find one that tops it~

Btw, this even includes Fast Forward and Back to the Sewer (BTTS). The former being my least fav of the series simply due to the setting and again, it’s just preference. I even liked BTTS, even though I’m not overly fond of a cyberspace setting, but I found myself really liking the art style and the general plot. :D 

2007/2k7~

As with the last, if you’ve picked up on the page’s header/banner, you’d have probably guessed that the 2007 movie is also a good candidate for one my favs... And you’d be correct. ;) I’m actually very fond of this movie, and it’s largely due to the Turtles designs. I love how they were done! They just look so cool! <3 Subtle differences tell the viewer who’s who even if they didn’t have a mask or weapons. The VAs were also pretty good~ Now, the story isn’t the greatest, I’ll admit. Personally I thought it was okay, but know many fans think otherwise. But I did like the confrontation between Leo and Raph! It got real there, peeps! :O Now here’s also where it falls a little on its face for me: I didn’t really like how they handled Leo’s personality (if you haven’t already picked up on it, yes, I’m a Leo fangirl and I’m picky when it comes to how they handle his personality) but it’s a nitpick again, yet, I still feel compelled to state my opinion: the whole “I’m better than you.” comment really took me back and made me think they pushed it. I honestly like to believe he’d never actually say something like that... at least, 2003!Leo wouldn’t. X’D But that’s just my problem: I’m comparing a different verse’s Leo to this one and whether I like it or not, he said it. :/ Oh well, it still made for some fun action scenes and I’ll still always like the movie.

Bit of a goof on my side: I honestly thought that this movie was made to tie in with the 2003!verse due to the timeline in which it was produced, but turns out, it’s actually closer to the 1990′s timeline although still considered it’s own verse.

2012/2k12~

Oooh boy, lemme prepare for the backlash real quick... I’m uhhhh... not a fan of these boys. :/ I don’t mind them, but I’m honestly never gonna watch the series again. It’s hard to top your fav when you’ve kinda already hit your high point, ya know. Now before you light your torches and sharpen your pitchforks, hear me out: I will never bash the series, or make fun of anyone who likes it! Or anything to that extent! It’s just wasn’t for me, plain and simple, and it’s got nothing to do with it being ‘new’ or I’m just an old fart stuck in my ways. Heck, If you’re still reading, you would’ve found out that even nostalgia couldn’t beat the series that grasped me in my teens! So no, it has nothing to do with age. But if you do need a reason: I wasn’t overly fond of how they handle the characters. For one, they look and act a bit too young, Mikey is just... wow, something else. Donnie’s... sheesh, pretty snappy and antagonising. Raph’s well... okay, he’s meant to be angry half the time, and they did give him some more layers with Spike and Mona Lisa and whatnot, but he still kinda never learns his lesson if I can say that? He’ll learn that he shouldn’t cause issues with others, yet next episode he’s back at it again. :/ Leo’s... wow, just not like other Leos. X’D Best way I can describe him is... young? Very childlike. And even when he was progressing to becoming this better leader, I honestly couldn’t even see the change. My mind was just stuck on this “He’s a babeh.” notion. Also, I’m not even gonna start on this April and Casey. Just. No. Most of the characters were annoying and I just kept seeing recycled plot after plot. What I did like was the romance that blossomed between Raph and Mona (albeit far too rushed) and even Donnie liking April was adorable (but seriously Donnie, you can do so much better), and there were some really heartfelt moments, like Splinter telling Leo to leo his brothers with his heart and not his head, and the scenes when they were Tots will always make me squeal... But yeah... without leaving any spoilers.... about Splinter... just... thanks, Nickelodeon. Y’all know what I mean. Not once... But twice.... Really? So yeah, look, I realized some of those reasons might even be petty, but again, it’s just not the series for me, but anyone who’s a fan... You keep being a fan! ;) I’m glad you can enjoy something I can’t. ;)

2014/2k14/2016/2k16 AKA BAYVERSE~

HAHA~ Every fan’s favorite... If only. X’D Jokes aside, despite many fans claiming the Bay movies ruined the franchise, these two films gathered a small following... And I’m apart of it. :) Funny enough, I honestly didn’t know what to think of them when the movie first came out. I think I was just taken aback by the sheer amount of detail and all that went into their designs. I didn’t not like them, but again, their designs were a lot to take in. :O Even now after seeing the movies quite a few times over, I find myself constantly discovering something I didn’t notice on them before, be it a strap or a scar etc. And it honestly took some getting use to their sizes, I mean, sheesh! :O Not to mention the different background story, and Megan Fox’s wooden, expressionless acting, but despite all that... I found myself actually growing attached to these hulks of Turtles. They still have a lot of that heart in them and plus they’re just so much fun, I mean, can we say ‘Elevator scene’? X’D Now again, not perfect by anys mean, but still fun and pretty decent incarnations to add to the franchise. Again, Leo’s been given this ‘Better than you’ a bit which irked me to be frank. Not always but it’s there sometimes, but otherwise alright. Raph’s a decent Raph. Even had some tender moments. Donnie’s adorable! X’D This slightly potty mouthed geek that you just gotta love. And Mikey... although given that bitta ‘idiot’ feel, is also just as lovable and you want to hug him every time he’s onscreen! 

In short, I like ‘em. :) They’re actually closer to the top of the ladder than some others.

RISE OF THE TMNT/ROTTMNT/2018/2K18~

Yeeeeeeeeuuuuuuh... no. Sorry. Not for me. :/ Again, gonna remind y’all, nothing to do with age. Nothing to do with change. I will say that the fluid animation is nice, and the fact that they chose 2D animation. :) Buuuuuut, wow, they were certainly a lot to take in. Almost as much as Bay’s Turtles. After watching a few eps, I will conclude that they really just aren’t what I’m looking for. I found that the constant joking, while sometimes funny, got a little bit much, plus such short eps. Raph being leader was a switch and one that took awhile to get use to and honestly, I’m just not for it, I don’t even know where to begin with Donnie, Mikey’s okay, Leo... (deep breath) I don’t know what they were thinking... Let’s not even go to Master Splinter. But anyways, I get that change was what they were going for and that it was more so based on the 1987 toon with the silliness so that’s fine. I’m glad it’s got so many fans. :) And honestly, I wanna end off just by saying...

That no matter what your thoughts on what I’ve said, I hope you can respect my opinions and choices cause at the end of the day, they’re just my own, and I will always respect yours! :D If you adore the verses I’m not too crazy about, that’s great! :D I want you all to love the heck out of them! And honestly, this is what’s so great about this franchise: there are so many verses to choose from! So many options and tastes to suit any and all! You don’t have to follow the masses! You go enjoy whichever incarnation(s) you want to! ;) 

And there we have it, my first fandom bloggy thingy~ Hope there’ll be many more where that came from! :D

This is Drag0n-Mistr3ss signing off~

#tmnt #incarnations #favorite #teenage mutant ninja turtles #tmnt 2003 #tmnt 1987 #tmnt 2014 #tmnt 2012 #tmnt 1990 #rottmnt

[kupotea]

Musical notes about FiT

Awrgh. Headphone jack on my laptop is not being picked up at all by my computer, sooo annoying when I want to work in the library. :c 

On a happier note, I rediscovered the playlist I’d created for “Frozen in Time”. Some of the vids have been taken down, but it’s still so nostalgic for me. My writer’s brain is stewing. ^^ http://tinyurl.com/zrb5jqd

”Pompeii” was the song playing on the radio all the time on my commute to/from work. It was what made me want to write a Hansanna fic with time travel to more or less...fix canon. XD It took quite a bit of commute-brainstorming and Hansanna fanfic reading for me to finally get off my butt and write the story though. “Winter Bird” helped me think up the Ice Maiden’s character, but also reminded me of Elsa to an extent. It got me thinking about the character she could have become had it not been for Anna. I probably listened to the Sámi folk songs the most while writing the story. Máddji’s music is so haunting and beautiful. “Up&Up” just...really struck me as a Kristelsa, or at least an Elsa song. Struggling to keep things together as Queen while her castle’s attacked aaaand her sister and Hans are missing. Kristoff on his own mission to find Anna. 

“The Wolf” and “Demons” were Hans/Hansanna songs to me over the course of their adventure, for sure. “I Went Too Far” and “Warrior” felt like Anna songs to me, both her codependency and purity/strength of heart. :)  I just love Aurora btw. <3 Good stuff, and it’s nice to re-visit things that remind me how much heart and effort I put into one story. I needed to remember I can do that again. I haven’t been devoting enough time to writing and lately it’s just been eating at me.

But for now, back to work. And if I can figure out why I suddenly smell chicken ramen in a library, my curiosity will be sated for the day. 😆

#1stworldproblems #damnit #frozen in time #frozenfic #hansanna #musicandwriting #ffnet #writing

[violetemerald]

Or watch the version with all sorts of potentially distracting, potentially just explanatory, text on top of the  screen: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Htd9luUsMe8

I had to delete the first copy of the no-text version and re-render/re-upload because I forgot to list Shameless as a fandom in the end credits. And I wanted to fix a small 1 frame black gap. But yeah there are actually 33 fandoms, not 32, I had missed one when counting them up, whoops!! XD For the original posting with the text all over, the original text version, I’m not deleting and re-posting because it’s an entry in a contest, but the mistakes are still present in there. But yeah this is my entry for the 3rd and Final round of the Who You Are contest GlowingAprilSky has been hosting, season 2. The round was called "Journey Backwards" and the rules stated here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qVJHoaJ-cDE explain: "Start from where you are now, and go back to the beginning of your story. Show me all about you and your story." 

Ask if you want me to type up the voiceovers.

Starting off with where I'm at currently in my life, I just turned 28 years old and I'm:

1. starting to do real Asexual Activism including last weekend I presented at one workshop and at one caucus at the Creating Change (an LGBTQ) conference in my city, I'm

2. employed and doing well at my administrative assistant type contractor job in a government building, I'm

3. learning to face my grief over my friend perpetrating a murder-suicide. See this video for more info: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HGPFGnZ3XEE

4. I live with my wonderful dad as an adult with no intention of moving out anytime soon, and my dad has been having a few health diagnosis things lately and needs heart surgery to put in a defibrillator very soon

(Now those 4 are all kinda overlapping and at once. I'm trying to do this whole vid in reverse-chronological order, but my dad specifically found out in December he'd need to get a defibrillator ASAP so that a fairly likely sudden heart event will, instead of almost certainly killing him, much more likely him surviving it, surgery has now been scheduled for February, whereas it was still the end of November when my suicidal podcasting partner murdered his wife before ending his own life. But my grief over that friend of mine I did a podcast with, the part of this that is “my story”, is an ongoing thing (as grief often is)-that spans both before and after me finding out about my dad's recent news with his health. Similarly ongoing is me living with him as it's a “for many years” situation that's still important to capture SOMEWHERE for an autobiographical vid. Etc. So I was trying my best and picking when and how to capture a lot of this.

The car crash happened when I was distracted and near-tears over my breakup because of the music I was listening to too intensely and I think that's one of the "life events in my story" that I won't be forgetting any time soon.

So much of this vid is more personal than I can explain, little choices of scenes that ring truer than you could even know.

I think blogging helped me a lot with processing my asexuality and my mother's abuse, and I did it for years and still do it. I started about my mom on tumblr in 2010 even maybe but my real WordPress blog I started in 2014.

Around 1:43-1:48 in the video is me having started attending Asexual Meetups in mid-2014! Which is a HUGE deal, all my closest friends since then were pretty much from that group plus I organize the meetups a lot of the time now, host in my house etc!

Right after that, 1:48-1:52 I kinda "gloss over" my uncle's suicide which really was a pretty huge traumatic deal, and I still am grieving him in some ways, of course I am, he was such a great guy. I went on a suicide prevention walk last summer (2016) with him in mind but that didn't make it into the video, eventually I'll finish a full vid themed just around loved ones of suicidal people, I already started such a vid around then...

I really stressed before I knew about asexuality about being a 22 year old person who had never been kissed, being a 23 year old virgin, about being a social failure. I believed the amatonormative idea's like what John says to Sherlock ( https://everydayfeminism.com/2016/04/amatonormativity-expectations/ ) and I tried online dating and finally went on a date and had a first kiss, as soon as I healed from my foot surgery. I had this final foot surgery right after I graduated college. I spent a lot of my life on crutches, in casts, if you add up all 3 surgeries, the chronic foot pain after I first broke it is an important part of "my story" so I wanted to jam it in there. Go OTH for having a realistic recovery time and elevating Haley's foot a lot. ;) Not the 5 pillow high like me since it was so painful and needed to be so elevated but... STILL. XD

Blake on Criminal Minds is maybe the only Linguist I've ever seen on TV? Not realistic at all and I think a lot of what they call Forensic Linguistics is just myth and Criminal Minds is a pretty imperfect show but whatever. :P

I also "glossed over" just how important and involved I was in atheist circles, although the fact that I later volunteered for a hotline where people might call in and say "I think I'm an atheist" for 2.5 years maybe gives you some idea. My podcast was about atheism, and I also occasionally organize atheist meetups and regularly attend some atheist and freethinker meetup groups since around mid-2015. I'd like to probably make a full length atheism vid at some point. :P Which is a weird topic but I'd like to try. There's... There's NO good representation that goes far enough at all on TV, but I appreciate Grey's Anatomy a lot for doing what they've done with Jackson, and I'm glad Kurt on Glee was an atheist while being a beloved person who isn't even known for being too scientific or anything. Appreciate less that Grey's Anatomy, in season 14's premiere, seemingly erased Amelia's atheism that was first present on Private Practice (see this vid above)... :P

I withdrew from Chemistry, Semantics 2, and Infectious Human Disease in college. Those left W's on my transcript, which are better than failing. I had to make up the credits by taking summer classes at a different college in order to graduate on time (took French and Biological Athropology classes as my credits instead over two summers). I also "dropped", penalty free, Russian, and Medieval Spanish History. Senior year of high school I was living with my grandmother and lonely and became truly unhealthily addicted to vidding, which I still clearly am now a decade later but I think vidding is a part of my story that didn't make it into the vid (perhaps that would have been too meta?) lol... but I started then, senior year of high school, to get worse grades. My straight-A, I'm naturally smart and will succeed and am a little bit of a perfectionist tendencies were suddenly just flipped and not true really?? XD

Hopefully most of this is fairly self-explanatory. The court stuff could be pretty traumatic so I tried to capture those feelings... I've vidded stuff about my abusive mom before and about Beverly/Scarlett in general, and about Maggie/Abby in both a collab and my first ever personal vid about my mom... I was trying to vid mainly stuff I haven't before in those vids. :) I appreciate for my own sake the variety. And I rushed the ending to squeeze in some of me as a little kid.

I think I still belong with my dad, my whole life is tied together by my great dad. :) But also I just liked that Molly is a young girl and happy and that smile would be a fun way to end the video... :P I wasn't sure when I was editing it that that scene was really about my dad, until I was adding the text on top of the screen.

There is plenty left out but I'm pretty happy with this current result in terms of most of the really significant parts of my life story.

I think this song is about wanting "To let go of the pain I've held so long", to get from the bad to somewhere better. I think I'm pretty close to finding somewhere I belong in my life. I think this summarizes my past pretty well though, it's a little too angsty of a song but the lyrics are honestly HOPEFUL in some ways. It's about, as the bridge says, knowing yourself now that you do this on your own, it's about wounds healing, finding yourself!

Anyway... if you've read the whole description, WOW thank you for being so invested in learning more about my life. :P

#multi-fandom #actually asexual #abusive mother #fanvideo #atheism

[sailsunfurled]

Alright, so not much progress. But hey. That’s what happens when u get distracted watching a vid of pretty much all the cutscenes in Kingdom Hearts HD 2.8 Final Chapter Prologue for the sake of just watching for one character (the main one, Aqua). Yeah... Whoops. Not to mention I’m hungry now lmao. And my sleep schedule’s fucked. lol. (That’s not bc of this. That’s bc I had a headache (read as: migraine) yesterday and slept most of the day.)

Anyway. If you want more details, under the RM.

Besides all that nonsense. I pathfinder’d both the main blade, the cross-guard, and the grip. Each had too parts. The first two I subtracted the white space. The last I just put together bc why wouldn’t I? xD

I, of course, took off the outlines. Rounded them up a bit. Thankfully before starting this project I had watched Man At Arms’ YT vids of them doing Sora’s Keyblade (and to a lesser extent for inspiration and wisdom, their Oathkeeper vid). So in my quest to make a realistic version of a keyblade, I, naturally, knew about the grinding/filing that goes on to make the shape of such a weapon. Thus, the objects at top of the keyblade are more rounded on the edges, whereas those at the bottom are only slightly rounded. The corners there, especially for the end of the blade, are sharper, a bit more refined. It is a keyblade, and most certainly, a weapon.

Fyi, the chain and charm will not be done until near the end. That also goes for the sans-serif text cursor on the main part of the blade. Although, the latter will certainly be done before the former. (Also, I got a little idea in mind. (; But warning: That means this will deviate a little. Aka: Realistic in perspective, not in concept. I’ll leave you all to wander what that means.) As for the text on the blade (aka: Search and I’m Feeling Lucky), Imma change it up a little. Maybe. Haven’t fully decided. But we’ll see what I like best in the end. This is my recreation of the keyblade. ;)

Gonna take my morning pill, take a short nap, wake up and eat. We’ll go from there on what I do.

#markiplier #art #mine #personal #ugh god. so hungry. but i need to fix some sleep in so i dont fall asleep later. #also gotta pass the hour of not being able to eat after i take my pill xD #also. shout out to the ray of hope remix of simple and clean #its a fucking life saver. those happy morning beats are amazing.

[theragamuffininitiative]

Songs on Shuffle Tag!

I was tagged by the incomparable @praise-the-lord-im-dead Thank you for tagging me! :D

Rules: put your music on shuffle and share the first ten songs that come up (no skipping), and then tag others to do the same :)

Whoo-boy. This one makes me nervous, folks, no kidding. I have...like...such a big music library? It’s ginormous and I go through a lot of it in spurts. So. I took out Christmas and Instrumentals and anything I can’t remember listening to in the past six months. ;)

You don’t have to include listen links, but I’m going to, unless this proves horrifyingly shameful...

For Life, Downhere. Ohmygosh I love this song, and just in time for Valentine’s Day. ;) This is a good start...

A Dragon, A Dragon, Pete’s Dragon. lolololololol No, but seriously. If you have not watched the original Pete’s Dragon you are Missing Out. (warning of like...smoking and drinking in a tavern?)

We Will Survive, Andrew Peterson. Yeah, I go cry over the Beautiful now.

Hurricane, Needtobreathe. I AM SO HAPPY THIS MADE THE LIST. ALSO I WISH I COULD SHOW YOU THE MOST BEAUTIFULLY EPIC MUSIC VIDEO WHERE THE BAND JOINED TOGETHER WITH ALL THE OUTSIDERS TO STAND IN A LINE ON A BEACH AND FACE DOWN THE ONCOMING STORM BUT THEY TOOK IT DOWN FOR REASONS THEY WON’T SPECIFY AND I AM FOREVER SALTY. but hey the 1.43 mark in this video is also a Gift so.

Stars, Les Miserables (2012 Film). Okay, judge me all you like, but I still think this is one of the most beautiful versions.

Whatever You’re Doing (Something Heavenly), Sanctus Real. Amazing, powerful song. How is it all my faves and none of my embarrassments are making this list, and we are halfway through??? (lookatmybabiestheysolittle! Also did Matt steal Steve Burns t-shirt?)

Constant, House of Heroes. o.o Forget shame, apparently I only listen to Quality Sound, folks. ;) ;) ;)

Everything I Do, Ramin Karimloo (cover). Haha, okay, that is only mildly embarrassing. Ya’ll already know how much I love the guy, and his version is unsurprisingly gorgeous. C’mon, shuffle, do your worst!

Deeds, Sanctus Real. Okay, at least this is a little more off-the-beaten-track. It’s from their punk/boyband sound days, so a bit wonky. XD

Push, Thousand Foot Krutch. I do love me some TFK. I have all of their albums and I’ve been to several of their concerts, and they never disappoint. ALSO PLEASE MAKE FANDOM VIDS OF THIS ONE FOR LITERALLY ALL THE FANDOMS.

I’m kinda disappointed it wasn’t weirder??? I mean, I’ve got some oDdbALLS in my player, and none of them came up. Ah well, a girl must keep her secrets. ;)

Okay, I taaaaaagggg (if you dare want to) EVERYONE plus:

@we-are--groot @shenzi-hemlock @hopefully-happy @smol-overlord @lefarky-dragonroot @theshipperofships7 @affectbreathe @gods-little-punk @mebemaddie @storytellingfortheking @writewithurheart @beautyinsteadofashes @aceofstars16 -ok because every time I tried to tag someone it suggested you too <3 @theothervelma @rosestormclare and @traveling-magpie because I never tag you in anything. ;)

#I tag new people and people who leave notes on my blog ok #music asks #songs on shuffle #tag post #tagged post #or something #ragamusings #about me #and it's really late but hopefully some of you will see this

[myjackiejackie01]

‘Thwarted’ Chapter 42 Review

@perrydowning in which ao3 can kiss my ass

Work is poo, I couldn’t read 'Thwarted' when I woke up early, BUT you know I can’t leave it hanging! But speaking of: ‘Thwarted’ is back!! *waves enthusiastically* It feels like it's been a lifetime, but really it's only been a week. Fanfiction time seems to feel like an eternity when waiting for updates, doesn't it? 

Our space babies are still vacationing. And Rey is drunk?! Drunk Rey would be adorable, if I didn't think she wasn't drinking to hide her true feelings. Kylo's with me on this, too. And she did!!

Here come the angsty-feels.

First, Rey. Oh, my baby. Come into my arms and know that you are safe and shall always have hugs. I really love the internal struggle that Rey has with herself when it comes to her and Kylo's relationship. It's obvious, now that she knows the truth about Force Bonds, that her feelings for Kylo are genuine and she truly does love him and wants to be with him. But, even now that she realizes this, she can't help but feel 'guilty' for doing so. For the most part, to all the galaxy, up until that vid of Eshara went out, Kylo Ren and the First Order were the enemy, her enemy. In some ways, they still are, but Rey knows and understands Kylo better as well as his intentions for the First Order and hopes for the galaxy. Doesn't make all of the methods he's using right, but she has an understanding and her influence IS making a difference, but still. The Resistance helped hide her when Kylo was relentlessly hunting her from planet to planet. Leia helped her and cared for her and was the mother figure she'd longed for. Finn and Chewie and BB-8 and Poe are her friends. To her, it almost feels like a betrayal of sorts, to be in love with someone viewed as the "bad guy". How easy it would be for the both of them to just run away and live happily away from all the fighting, have a family, live out their lives in peace. Rey is right. I think if she took Kylo to the Resistance and he wasn't allowed to leave and he was just stuck there, he wouldn't like it at ALL. 'Thwarted' Kylo Ren and 'HKHNTS' Kylo Ren are two different individuals, so I don't see Thwarted!Kylo taking easily to being with the Resistance with all his unresolved issues. 'He Knows' Ben went of his own free will to the Resistance and to be with Rey. I don't think Kylo would, if only just to make Rey happy, in which I don't think he wouldn't really be happy himself.

And then there's Kylo. I'm sure he's tempted with the seductive idea of just running away with Rey, but I think while Rey is VERY much his world, he also has goals. Goals for the galaxy he wants to accomplish. He wants to "finish what Darth Vader started". But again, his methods of going about it will definitely blow up in his face. Like Rey said, there will always be a new Resistance, a new Rebel Alliance growing in the shadows to take on the new tyranny. You can't FORCE people to do what you want. Even with all the power in the galaxy that Kylo has, he can't just kill everyone that doesn't agree with him. Then the galaxy would be empty, save for the First Order. I do find it interesting that Kylo puts a heavy emphasis on Rey being the light to his dark and he being the dark to her light. Kylo IS capable of making better decisions, he can go about accomplishing his goals without murder and execution for those that don’t comply. The reason why he doesn’t is because he won’t. He continually excluded the light he felt because he saw the boy he once was, Ben Solo, as weak. Kylo Ren is strong. He gets shit done. He does what NEEDS to be done.

I do think though that, despite his questionable methods and admittedly shitty temper, Rey does make him gentle. He doesn’t want to hurt her, he never did. Even when he’s trying to be all big and scary – he is, really – she does the impossible and breaks down that sort of ‘persona’ he built for himself and sees this sort of gentle giant he’s capable of being. Oh, ‘Thwarted’ Kylo, how you get my mind thinking about your character.

Also, side note: damn, Kylo's Force skills are so dope he can sober drunk people up quickly?!? People celebrating New Year's Eve on Saturday woulda LOVED him.

Grandpa Melty-face hasn’t spoken to to Kylo in months? Detective Rey is even more suspicious!!

And it wouldn't be a Perry story without amazingly wonderful, deliciously decadent smut, right?!?! I could feel their passion radiating off of my laptop screen and had to turn on my fan, it was getting too steamy in here. BUT that's how I love my lemons. I really loved how urgent and passionate and reckless it felt, to me. Kylo wanted to hear that Rey belonged to him, and she was more than happy to tell him so. The way I heard him say "Mine" to her in my mind was just so incredibly sexy; like a throaty growl. I'm sweating like a sinner in Church on Sunday. I mean, yesterday WAS Sunday. Monday sinning is winning!!

P.S.: “He’s not surprised though, his thirst for her is endless.” <-- *snort* I see what you did there, Perry!! Thanks for that shout out!! xD

And our space babies are back from their romantic outing and what's this?! A 'welcome back' group is waiting for them!! Awe, Kes missed her friend, Hux is no doubt eager to inform the Supreme Leader about how he handled everything and made sure nothing blew up (because without Hux, there's no order!!!), and Vitok is here too.... to 'scold' Kylo xD I do like that she did, though, because she is right; I'm sure if Kylo informed everyone that it was Rey's birthday, they woulda did something really special for her (because really, she really REALLY did them a solid by banging their leader. No more Krazy Kylo!). BUT I'm also glad for Kylo self-analyzing. While I'm sure he would very much like to keep Rey to himself, he also acknowledges that she wants to have friends outside of their relationship and not just have him 24/7. It doesn't mean she wants to be away from him, just that she needs other relationships and interactions with people. He doesn't need to be her entire world, even when we all know she is certainly his.

AWE, HE GAVE HER A SHIP. I mean. It doesn't have a hyper drive, but a ship!! I'm starting to see Kylo slowly (painfully slow) letting go, just a bit. I mean, he has a LONG way to go, but trusting her enough to not bolt and give her a ship of her very own because he knows she loves flying is incredibly sweet.

"“I suspect I’ll have to get used to it … someday.”" <-- REY ARE YOU HINTING AT SOMETHING? HMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM????! Kylo, your girl is sending you signals.

Our space babies are making SO much progress. There's the angst that won't go away, but they've come so far and are happy and together-together now, I'm bubbling with excitement. But I see that Pain Train looming on the horizon, waiting to make it's way to the station. I'm prepared for it, I am terrified for what's to come yet I'm also excited for it. Is that weird that I love to have romance AND insufferable angst? No? Good!

Always, you delivered brilliantly, my dear Perry!! You never fail to.

See you in chapter 43!!

Happy writing!!

xx

#thwarted #perrydowning #story reviews #fic updates #reylo

[backtothestart02]

#2, 4, 10, 21, 28, 31 and 39 please.

All new ones. Cool. :)

(Most of these are under the cut b/c it got reeeeally lengthy.

2) Talk about three of the most important ships throughout your life. 

Oh, wow. *takes deep breath and puts on thinking cap* I think with this I’m just going to go with the three biggest ships I’ve had. That would be Chuck & Blair from Gossip Girl. Barry & Iris from The Flash. Aaaaand….*hmms* Anakin & Padme from Star Wars.

Chuck & Blair was the first really big obsessive ship I got into. All through high school (and before), I had so many extra-curricular activities (and a social life), as well as people telling me how very NOT healthy it was to be watching TV all the time. So, it was completely unrealistic to actually watch every episode of any show on a weekly basis. I had shows I got into, but because of this fact, I just really wasn’t able to dedicate myself to any of them until I hit college. Suddenly I had no adult telling me what I could and couldn’t do, and I had a lot more time on my hands. Season 1 of Gossip Girl aired during my last year of high school, so I was bit behind, but I was able to catch up beyond just the significant scenes/eps of that season in due time and I promptly emerged myself into the online world of fandom. I wrote fic, I made vids, I chatted with countless other fangirls on multiple sites. I found my best friend.

Barry & Iris I talked about on the previous post, but they’re the first really big TV ship I got invested in since Gossip Girl ended. I watched several other shows since then and got heavily invested in my OTPs on just about all of them. But the level of obsession and involvement online and with them in general just wasn’t at its height. Well, big congrats to the writers and casting director of the Flash. Not only did you get me sucked into a superhero TV show (I hadn’t really been into any superhero franchise since the original Spiderman movie trilogy back in the early 2000s), but you got me hung up on probably the most gorgeous ship on television rn. Bless.

And…Anakin & Padme. *le sigh* I watch the prequels now and I cringe so bad, b/c the writing and acting is AWFUL (despite the actors being pretty decent, if not amazing - I’m looking at you, Natalie Portman). But when it first came out I was but a preteen and naive to such things as good acting and the like. I fell head over heels for this forbidden romance and heavily crushed on Hayden Christensen as well. In fact, I loved them so much that I had to buy a second VHS (b/c we still used those pretty frequently back in 2002ish lmao) b/c I watched their scenes so many times and constantly did a rewind, so that the film actually came out of the encasing of the VHS. Smh. Also, they were the first ship I ever vidded. And let me tell you, I went to EXTREME lengths to vid them. I had a crap video editing program and had to multitask in the most frustrating way. But I wanted to vid them more than anything, so I took the extra time and the extra effort it took to do it. Also, that first vid I made…I accidentally deleted, and I cried for HOURS. It was my masterpiece, as miserable as it must have looked. And I was just DEVASTATED when it was gone. I remade it as best as I could, but it was still a disaster. I did write some fic for them as well, but mostly I made vids - a TON of them. They look awful to me now, but it’s nice to see the progress I made. Lol. Aaaanyways, that was my first really obsessive ship and def a defining point in my shipping life.

4) What’s your current NOTP? 

Current NOTP… Let’s see. This one’s actually really hard. Because if I don’t like a ship, even if it’s in direct opposition to my OTP, I don’t necessarily hate them. I just don’t ship them. I have reasons I don’t like them that are outside of being an obstacle to my ship, and I just…don’t know if I have one at the moment? Hook & Emma from Once Upon a Time I despised for the LONGEST time. I’m a hardcore Neal & Emma shipper, but I just felt the whole transition into Hook & Emma was AWFUL. Not to mention starting from their first kiss, I was just kinda…grossed out? But they’ve been a ship for a while now, and I’d be lying if I said I don’t root for them. I still don’t ship them, but they’re no longer on my hate list. Barry & Caitlin aren’t a NOTP for the simple fact that they’re not even happening. Imo, you can only hate a ship if it’s actually happening (or happened previously), neither of which is the case with them. I guess…oh, I KNOW! Lol. Blaine & Peyton on iZombie. My OTP on that show is Liv & Major, so they’re not a NOTP related to them. BUT I also hardcore ship Ravi & Peyton. They have chem and he is honestly the best boyfriend. While Blaine & Peyton aren’t together yet, they did have a one-night stand, and despite Blaine being the devil incarnate, it looks like Peyton is going to give him another chance, since he doesn’t remember being the devil incarnate, and so no longer acts like his old self, or has that mindset. Ravi & Peyton haven’t been together for a while, and they weren’t when she slept with Blaine, but they were basically on the verge of getting back together when feelings/this news emerged, and….*whines & cries* Blaine is the absolute WORST. Peyton needs to run in the other direction, not straight into his arms.

10) Do you ship any characters that have never met? 

Yes. Lol. Barry & Lydia is my #1 crossover/AU couple. I’d obviously be horrified if they became an actual thing on either The Flash or Teen Wolf, since I hardcore ship both westallen and stydia. But take Iris & Stiles out of the equation? Heck yes. I’m addicted to watching their AU vids.

21) Is there a ship you just don’t get, but have nothing against? 

This is a pretty hard question actually, since every time a couple shows up onscreen - particularly if I end up not shipping them - I always try to figure out why other people would ship them. And much to my chagrin, I’m usually able to be open-minded enough to come up with at least one reason, if not more. I guess the only one that comes to me right now is Emily & Ben on Revenge. I get he was just supposed to be some in-between romance until the endgame couple finally got their due, but I just…don’t get it. I don’t necessarily have anything against it either, it just felt…pointless. And really the poor guy didn’t have a chance. Emily was always going to choose either Jack or her revenge, and inevitably, both.

28) Does shipping come easily to you? 

LMAO. SO easy. You have no idea. XD Occasionally there is a show where I just enjoy the couples but don’t really get invested in them away from having them be a nice decoration for the plot/theme of the show, but yeah. EXTREMELY easy.

31) Talk about one of your favorite headcanons for a ship you love. 

Hmmm. This one is hard as well. *thinks about this forever* Generally speaking, I don’t come up with headcanons super often. I see others, and I go, “oh yes, I agree!” And when I do come up with headcanons, I don’t usually say ‘here’s a headcanon!,’ I go ‘oh look, a fic that I wrote that’s almost 10 pages long!’ lmao XD But I guess - and this one is super generic and I have no doubt I’m not the first to come up with it - is that in iZombie, when Major & Liv get married (which they WILL at some point *glares at writers*), Ravi will be the best man, Peyton will be the maid of honor, and Clive will walk Liv down the aisle. *heart eyes*

39) Is there a fictional relationship you’d really want for yourself? 

I’d say Barry & Iris b/c #1 - they’re epic & #2 - I want a Barry Allen. But I don’t think I’d want quite the kind of conflicts they’ve had dished out to them, so I’m gonna say… H.G. & Jane from the recently deceased Time After Time. There was ofc the time travel conflict (which I really would’ve loved to see resolved!!), but they were just so sweet and pure and that’s the kind of relationship you want, honestly.

Want to chip in and request I answer some other question you like?

Send me an ask with a number(s) from this list!

#shipper questions #anon asks