#this was a real conversation

[atomicradiogirl]

“why can’t two men just be friends?” in this economy? i don’t think so

#this was a real conversation #my thoughts #lokius

[giolovesyousm]

[disclaimer: the "scarpetta" is when you take the bread and use it to leave no crumbs on the plate where you ate, for those who don't know]

charlie: I love doing this

cameron: you know that the galateo says that you shouldn't do the scarpetta?

charlie: yes I know but it's too good

todd: scarpe diem

#THIS WAS A REAL CONVERSATION #with my friends 😭😭 #it made me laugh so hard I had to share #the one who said scarpe diem is like the quietest kid in the group #and when he says something it means that would be hilarious #and will become and inside joke #dead poets society #dps fandom #charlie dalton #richard cameron #todd anderson #incorrect quotes

[bronziart]

Me, transitioning to a tablet w/ a screen: oh no! My hand covers my drawing now :(

My boyfriend, a traditional artist: oh no! You're experiencing the thing Every Other Artist has to deal with

#this was a real conversation #😔 #sorry its not funny

[alhyastarain]

Real convo with someone in my arts class (it's great to be back)

The speakers are P (he/him), K (she/her) and A (me, she/her)

The teacher is busy searching for something he wants to show us. A chair behind me is creaking, and I turn around to see K rocking herself in small bounces.

A (me): Enjoying the session with P?

Both smile.

K: Yeahh! Here, have a pill.

She searches on her backpack for what I assume was Ibuprofen.

A: Nah, better keep it- you'll need it when you're done with him.

I winked my eye and she found something in her backpack. She took out a fork laughing (istg, this is real) and showed it to me saying: "Look!!"

A: Omg! So nice of you to bring a weapon...

I reached out to grab it, with the idea of my mind to jokingly threat her with it- (No person was harmed during the span of this convo) -but P grabbed it first.

P: Extend your hand.

Curious, I did. He did a motion, as if my hand was a plate and he was eating out of it.

P: Yummy!

A: Delicatessen a la sweat~

K: Guess who's picking P later.

A: Hmm?

P: My boyfrienddd~ my baby

He seemed really happy and I returned the smile.

A: Yay! (Then, adding under my breath): I'd ask to meet him, but I'm a weirdo and I'd probably scare him off 😅

P: Hm?

Just at that moment, the teacher found what he was looking for and called for our attention.

Note of interest: This convo was originally in Spanish. I translated it for comfort purposes.

#this was a real conversation #everyone in arts is nuts #and i love it #reblog to see more unhinged convos #who is your favorite

[morgue-cheese]

me, who only recently discovered i am not straight, unlabeled with a massive crush on half the cast of stranger things: WHY IS EVERYONE SO HOT

my aroace cousin, in horror: PEOPLE ARE HOT???????

#this was a real conversation #lgbt #lgbtq #lgbtqplus #unlabled sexuality #unlabled #aromantic #asexual #pride #stranger things #it was maya hawke btw #she’s the prettiest #i have a crush #maya if you are seeing this please give me a chance

[emskies]

#the queen is dead #i'm so 😭😭😭😭 #this was a real conversation

[zuphyote]

GF: I'm just really tired from how hard I pushed myself today; I think I might need to take like a whole day to recover

ME: *nods sagely* Just like day 8 of the Near Side of the Moon route of Tsukihime when Shiki wants to go meet with Arcueid but he needs to rest like Akiha says because if he does leave then he won't have enough energy for the encounter on day 9, often leading to a fatal Bad End.

#talk tag #tsukihime #this was a real conversation #and she bit my arm in response

[whaledocboi]

ai generated images make me increasingly sad and tired the more i see them in more and more casual contexts. i dont know how to explain, but it just fills the world with a bunch of nothing. no matter how visually stunning the pictures might be, there's nothing behind it for me. no dedication, no emotions, no feelings, no hard work or creativity, nothing i can truly think about, admire or enjoy. i dont think thats how art is supposed to be

#not to mention ripping off and plagirazing real artists hard work of course #which is a whole other conversation #i cant feel the same love and adoration for whatever the slop machine produces #it will never be the same #im just really tired #anti ai #anti ai art

[endreal]

Apparently there was some kind of race scheduled at a local park or something so I've been trying to avoid the main trail but a little while ago when I had to cross near it I overheard the following shouted exchange

Higher feminine voice: woo, look at you go! You're jogging! Keep it up!

Lower masculine voice (panting): you know it! Last place is still a place, baby!

And goddamn if that didn't rewire my brain a little bit.

Last place is still a place, baby.

#Endreal in real life #good for thinking #actual factual conversations #last place

[noknowshame]

why is religious Christmas imagery all so joyful and pleasant? where is the inherent horror of the birth of Christ? A mother is handed her newborn child, wailing and innocent. Her hands come away sticky. Red. Simply by giving her son life she has already killed him. He is doomed from the beginning. Her love will not save him from suffering. Because the thing cradled in her arms is not a baby, it is a sacrifice: born amongst the other bleating animals whose blood will one day be spilled in the name of what demands it. the night is silent with anticipation. Mary, did you know? That your womb was also a grave?

#instant conversation enders for my multiple youth pastor cousins #don’t say it (I’m gonna say it) #The Child is The Price #but i mean come on #as someone who isn't actually even christian the real-life historical version of this is still cursed as fuck #i mean we know that jesus was a person who existed. whatever circumstances he was born in #its terrifyingly ominous to imagine being so unaware of the affect your child will have on the future of humanity #time itself will one day be counted around your birth of him #and all because he will suffer an excruciatingly painful death that you will not be able to prevent #not only that. but regardless of his or your intentions #regardless of whether there is a god #for millenea unfathomable millions will have blood spilled and will spill blood in his name #atrocities will be committed that you cannot even conceive of #and all on his and your behalf #you love your child. its beautiful. but there's horror in what you've done. because everyone else will love him too #and what's more dangerous than that?

[thunderon]

wizard: i have trapped you in a time loop >:)

me, loves routines: oh darn whatever shall i do

#real talk i would use the time loop to fix the 100 times a day that i mess up easy small talk conversations #y’all would not believe how badly i butchered this convo #not the locked tomb #op

[inkskinned]

there are a lot of posts out there that are positive and healthy coping mechanisms for handling the holidays. this is not one of them :)

i think there's like. going to be times in your life you will be stuck in a social situation that you cannot escape from gracefully. i do not know why the internet doesn't believe these times exist. it's not always just that your physical safety is at risk - sometimes it's legit like "i just don't currently have the energy or time to put in the effort of responding to this." sometimes it's a coworker you hate so much. sometimes it's just like, fine, you know? like you know you can handle your aunt when she's cheerily horrible, but if you actually set a boundary around her, it's going to be weeks of fallout with your father.

i don't know why people think the answer is always just "cut them out!" or "don't let them get away with that!" because ... the real world is tricky and complicated. i think kind of a lot of us have an internal "radiation poisoning" meter for certain people. like - i'm talking about the ones who are absolutely giving you gradual ick damage. like, you can handle them, but you'll be exhausted.

and yes. you absolutely should listen to your therapist and the good posts about handling others and set good boundaries and take care of yourself. prioritize peace.

HOWEVER :) ...... since im often in a situation with a Gradual Sense of Ick person i cannot just "cut out" of my life (without losing someone else precious to me) - i have sort of developed the most. maladaptive form of mischief possible. because like, if i'm going to have to listen to this shit again, i like to have a little bit of private fun with it.

now! again, i am physically safe, just mentally drained by this man. you should only do this with people you are not in danger with. which leads me to my suggestions for when your Unfortunate Acquaintance shows up and says oh everyone pay attention to me.

my favorite word is "maybe!" said as brightly and happily as possible. whenever the Horrible Person starts in on a topic you do not want to go further with, particularly if they make a claim that you know to be inaccurate, do not respond to it. you and i have both tried to actually argue with this person, and it hasn't gone well, because this person just wants the drama of an argument. however, "maybe!" gives them literally nothing to go on. it is incredibly disarming. they are used to people having some response. they know they can't prove what they're saying, and maybe! treats them like the child they are. it dismisses them in the politest way possible.

i like to say maybe! and then, in their stunned silence, immediately change the subject. this is because i have adhd and i will have something unrelated to talk about, but if you can't think of topics fast enough, i recommend just pointing to something and saying, "isn't that lovely?" because fuck you let's bring in some positivity.

by the way. that second trick - of pointing to something and stating an opinion about it? - that just works on its own, like, 70% of the time. i picked it up from teaching preschoolers. it's an intentional "redirect". it stops children crying and it also stops grown adults from finishing their explanation on why women belong in kitchens. dual wielding!

keep it silly for yourself. i absolutely do not care if people think i'm fucking stupid (it's more fun if they do) and as a result i will purposefully misunderstand things just to see how long it takes them to realize i've completely removed them from the subject at hand. when they say "women aren't funny" i get to be like. "which women." "all women." "all women in america?" "no in the world." "like the mole people? the people in the world?" "what? no. like, alive." "oh are we not counting the mole people?" "what the fuck are you talking about." "you don't believe in the mole people?"

similarly, i play a personal game called "one up me." my Evil Acquaintance literally knows this game exists (my family & friends caught onto it and now also play it) and it always fucking gets him. i don't know why. you have to be willing to be a little free-spirited on this one, though. the trick is that when they make one of those horrible little bigoted or annoying comments they are always making, you need to go one unit weirder. not more intense, mind you - just more weird. "you don't look good in that dress." "yeah, actually, my other dress was covered in squid ink due to a mishap at the soup store." "you shouldn't wear such revealing clothes." "wait, what? oh shit. sorry, your son tears off strips when no one is looking and eats them. i swear it was longer before we left the building."

the point of "one up me" is to completely upend this person's narrative. we both know this person likes setting up situations where you cannot "win" and then they really like telling other people how badly you handled it. in a usual situation, if you respond "please don't say something that rude", you're a bitch. but if you let it happen, you're letting yourself be debased. they are not usually expecting door number three: unflappably odd. because what are they going to say when they're telling everyone how badly you behaved? "she said my son eats her dresses" ".... okay?"

if you can, form an allyship with someone whomst you can tagteam with. where they can pick up on your weird "soup store" story and run with it.

the following phrase is amazing and can be deployed for any situation: "oh, be nice :) it's the holidays!" i do not know why this works as often as it does. i'll say it for the most random shit. i think this is bc most of the time these people know they're being impolite, they just like to fight.

godbless. when in doubt, remember that you could always start stealing their pens.

the whole point of this is - if you can't escape. maybe see how long you can just be. like. a horrible little menace.

#this is objectively bad advice #don't listen to it protect yourself and do real work on yourself find one of the good posts i've made about this #but also. u know. if u want to have fun while u do the work of setting boundaries #.... it IS fun #i will say that my fear of him went SO down after i just started. fucking with him. #bc i used to get SO fucking upset #i'd spend WEEKS arguing with him. tearing my hair out. sick with anxiety and dread and anger about all of it #and now i just LITERALLY do not engage #instead i'm like '' haha :) mole people" and get the HELL out of any tense conversation #i kind of think some of these people are literally addicted to drama as a form of connection #they like the rush they get from arguing #but those arguments are incredibly damaging for me #so like..... i am in the process of literally rehabilitating this person to figure out how to find connection thru #NORMAL CONVERSATION #he doesn't get it yet #i also do talk to them like they're preschool kids lmafo . ''are you using a safe and kind voice right now?'' #'' do you need a snackie? you sound a little upset. let's have some hummus and come back to playtime when we feel ready''

[okthisway]

Daily camp talks. Bonus:

#astarion #wyll #wyllstarion #incorrect bg3 #gale #lae'zel #shadowheart #bg3 #baldur's gate 3 #bg3edit #my gifs #totally real conversation that happened

[hpanimatedseries]

I will never stop thinking about the fact that the Hunger Games was canonically a drunk hypothetical. It wasn’t some great government scheme.

So many bad dystopian novels that have some crazy world building premise make it seem like some great creation from powerful minds. Some great construction. Think of City of Ember with its box or Divergent with its weird scientists(??) or The Selection with its bachelor premise, they are always “grandly designed.” Even in Catching Fire with the Quarter Quells the Games give off an air of grand planning.

But the hunger games were a HYPOTHETICAL. A crazy, extreme, what if. They were never supposed to exist. They were never supposed to be real.

Who wouldn’t drink themselves to death knowing they thought of the idea in the first place?

#it’s just SO good in ways I can’t articulate #I’m tired and words are hard #BUT IT WAS A DUMB DRUNK CONVERSATION #probably just angry ranting #but then real children killed and were killed by other real children #ugh it’s too much #the hunger games #thg #tbosas

[adhahyperfocusingonsomething]

Duke: “Why are French Fries called French Fries? They aren’t French.”

Jason: “Maybe your supposed to speak French when eating them”

Dick: “OR Maybe they are so hot, that when people eat them they go WEH WEH HOHN HON trying to cool their mouths.”

Duke:

Jason:

Jason: “That’s so ridiculous it’s almost funny.”

#duke thomas #jason todd #dick grayson #the signal #red hood #nightwing #batfam #batfamily #batman #dc #dc comics #batbros #dick tried to be funny #this is based off a real conversation that I had #this is basically the exact conversation #it’s funny #I am funny pls laugh

[slowandsteddie]

Steve, has a seizure and passes out

Steve, wakes up in the hospital

Steve, immediately clocking the worry on Eddie’s face and unable to look away

Steve, forcing a smile: “sorry for being so dramatic. I was just bored and wanted out of the house.”

Eddie, making a choked sound

Eddie, glancing at Dustin who has very red eyes

Eddie: “you know you could have just asked me to take you on a drive.”

Steve, snorting: “we do that all the time. I wanted something different. This car made a cool noise.”

Dustin: “Seriously, Steve?”

Steve, pouting: “I just wanted to go in the wee-woo wagon.”

#Stranger Things #steddie #steve harrington #eddie munson #steve stranger things #eddie stranger things #steve x eddie #shitpost #seizures #passing out #humor as a coping mechanism #incorrect quotes #based on a real conversation