#this was caps for a long period of time and finally i am able to gifs my girl

[sen-ya]

@heart-pirates-week || Day 3 || Penguin

Peng gets a third thing I had a lot of thoughts abt him while I made Heart Pirates Week stuff. Puttin it here for now so I can add it to the queue, I'll put it on Ao3 when I'm not on vacation lol. Previous Peng comics I've done (which I will also link once I am not on vacation lol) recommended before this, but not necessary.

take care

Summary:

“Where’re Beps and Cap?” “Dunno, think they went a few villages over looking for some nerd shit.”

or

teen peng & shachi start unpacking a few things

Warnings: implied child abuse/neglect

Word Count: 1669

“Where’re Beps and Cap?”

Penguin glanced around the open room the four teens had been calling home. It was run down, the wood floor scuffed and littered with what debris Law hadn’t already cleared. He was the only one who seemed invested in tidying the place so the process had become long and drawn out, with periodic full days dedicated to cleaning where Law would use what he could of his powers to move heavy things and direct the other three on how to best scrub the floor or mend the roof. What was left now was one large room that was half-tidy, loosely segmented into a corner for sleeping, a corner for eating, a corner for lounging, and a corner full of books and papers for Law and Bepo’s research. 

“Dunno, think they went a few villages over looking for some nerd shit,” Shachi shrugged from his spot in the lounging area. He took a long drag of the joint he was holding before holding it up as an offer. Wordlessly, Penguin made his way to sit beside him and easily took the smoke. Shachi sniffed and pushed his sunglasses up on his head, using them to hold back his bangs which he’d been meaning to cut for months at this point. He was crouched over some papers, clearly stolen from the research corner and flipped to their blank sides. He was scribbling flowing patterns, his hand turned black from the charcoal he sketched with. 

Penguin tilted his head, leaning in to get a better look. Shachi cast him a sideways glance. “Thinkin’ about our Jolly Roger,” he explained, turning the page so his friend could see better. “Cap gave me some ideas he had, hearts and shit like that. Real creative.” He huffed a laugh. Strewn across the page were decorative hearts, their lines swirling in where the curves met. Penguin smiled warmly at the drawings, his finger hovering over a few while he ghosted the outlines, careful not to touch the charcoal. Shachi held his head a little higher with pride at the approval.

“But this ain’t it,” he proclaimed with excitement, turning to grab a few papers he’d tossed to the side. He spread them out in front of them messily, showing off five or six pages of simplified, wide smiles. “Cap said hearts and you know what he was thinkin’.” Penguin gave a knowing nod. “So I was thinkin’ about that story he told us, the way that guy smiled at him and whatever. He was even smilin’ a little thinking about it. Anyway. Think he’ll like ‘em?”

“Yeah. Thoughtful,” Penguin beamed. Shachi scoffed and rolled his eyes, shoving his shoulder into his friend a little harder than he needed to. Penguin shoved him right back, and before long they were pushing each other back and forth, snickering as they play fought. 

“Don’t say dumb shit like that,” Shachi huffed, though it was clear he was pleased that the other boy could tell he’d spent time on his little project. He gave Penguin a final shove on his head, leaving a nearly solid black handprint on his hat. That only made Shachi’s grin widen and he snatched the hat away.

“What—!” Penguin lunged for it, Shachi quickly scrambling to his feet and running across the room.

“Calm down, you don’t need it right now!” Shachi laughed, turning on the faucet of the sink in their ‘eating’ corner. The delay in the water actually coming out was such that Penguin was able to cross the room and very nearly reclaim the hat before the other boy shoved it under the icy stream, rinsing the charcoal off his hands and the hat in the same go.

“Yes I do,” Penguin pouted, arms tight across his body with his chin pressed firmly into his chest. 

Shachi rolled his eyes, turning the water off and slinging the hat over the faucet. He flicked his wet hands at his friend’s face, causing him to startle backwards and look up. Their eyes met and Shachi frowned at the shame making a home on Penguin’s face. “Seriously?” he asked, a little hurt. “It’s just me.” 

Penguin’s gaze dropped, his hand shooting up to cover his right eye. The burn and accompanying scar that was there was long healed, leaving a distinct gap in his eyebrow and redness around his ever swollen eye. The iris was clouded, he hadn’t seen out of it in a few years at this point. All he offered as a response was a small shrug before beginning to step away. 

He didn’t make it far. Shachi’s hands, still icy from the tap, wormed their way to Penguin’s cheeks. His grip was firm as he forced eye contact. 

“You don’t gotta cover your face all the time,” he said sternly. Penguin tried to look around, desperately wanting to be anywhere but here. “I’m right! Don’t act like I’m not. Why are you ashamed of this stupid thing?” He jutted his chin towards the scar. Penguin only clawed at Shachi’s hands, trying his best to squirm away. 

The subject had come up a handful of times since it’d happened, but each time his apparent discomfort had gotten the other boy to drop the subject. Maybe it was because they were a little older now, or maybe it was because they were a little intoxicated, but this time Shachi didn’t back down. “It’s ‘cause you got it for me, isn’t it?”

Penguin’s good eye blew wide. “No,” the word was choked. “No, no.” His hands shot up, mirroring the gesture Shachi was holding firm. He shook his head as much as he could in the other’s grasp, his eye squeezing shut. An image sprung to his mind, one of a much younger ginger haired boy, stomach growling. He was a ball of well deserved anger, tightly wound and never afraid to spring. He understood when Penguin was quiet, knew that well fed and well cared for had different meanings. So of course Penguin had to squirrel some of that food away to the only person he felt understood him. Alone and in need — of care, of warmth, of companionship. 

There was one thing he would never regret, and that was the reason behind his injury.

But that didn’t make him proud of it. Didn’t make the waves of powerlessness the scar brought on any easier to weather. Didn’t make him feel less that he should have left sooner, didn’t make him feel less weak for not being able to fight back. There were so many things tied up in what he saw when he looked in a mirror. It was easier to pretend it wasn’t there. Hide it away to avoid people staring in a way that reminded him they could see it. 

Shachi had a tear in the corner of his eye, and if it weren’t for that anyone would have thought he was absolutely livid. But Penguin knew better, and he felt his heart fracturing as he recognized guilt in his friend’s stare. “I’d do it again,” he muttered. Then, confidently, “I’d do it a million times if it meant you’re taken care of.”

Shachi’s eyesbrows knit together even tighter as the tear fell free, and after that they kept coming. “I told you he’d kick your ass,” he squeaked.

“Didn’t care.”

“You fucking should have.”

Another rigid shake of the head. 

“You’re only a year older than me,” Shachi tried. “I don’t need taking care of.”

At that Penguin blinked, considered it for a moment. “I know,” he said carefully. “…But I want to take care of you.”

Shachi studied his face, confused. Penguin knew he was doing it again, giving his friend that look. The one he knew gave him away, the one he was certain Shachi had yet to find a name for. “Actually,” Penguin muttered, swallowing nervously. “I think…?” He looked around, confidence wavering. He screwed his eyes shut to make it easier and blurted, “I think I wanna kiss you. Can I?”

Silence.

Too long of a silence.

After what felt like ages he cracked his eye open and he could see Shachi’s gears turning. There wasn’t hesitance, per se, but questions he seemed to be working through in his mind rapid fire. Finally, he tilted his head, gave a shrug.

“Sure.”

It was quick, awkward, new. 

When it was over both of them dropped their hands back to their sides, studying the person in front of them. Penguin’s heart thrummed, and he smiled listlessly. As Shachi pressed his lips together in a tight line, evaluating the situation, he realized he couldn’t recall ever seeing such a grin on his friend’s face. After a few more moments of consideration he offered, “I think I liked that.”

Before either could think on it more their front door slammed open, Law and Bepo strolling in. “Yeah, just put them on my desk,” Law was saying, nodding to the appropriate corner over the stack of books he had in his hands. Behind him, Bepo carried twice as many.

Shachi leaned to the side to look around Penguin. “Sup nerds?” he called. Law flipped him off in response.

“The woman at the library was so nice!” Bepo cooed, easily sliding his book stack where Law had asked. “She saw how much we got through while we were there, so she let us borrow twice as many books.”

“I’m more surprised that they had this much worth reading,” Law mused. He sounded calm, but it was clear to the other boys that he was just as giddy about the development as Bepo. 

“What are they?” Shachi made his way to their corner, carelessly picking up a book to flip through. Law snapped at him to be careful, and quickly the three of them started to stir up a commotion.

Penguin sighed a chuckle, hanging back to watch the show as he gave himself a moment to consider the afternoon. 

Yeah, he decided. He thought he liked it too.

#my art #one piece #heart pirates #heart pirates week #one piece penguin #one piece shachi #one piece bepo #one piece law #trafalgar law #trafalgardwaterlaw #my fics

[dangermousie]

Farscape rewatch 2x04: Crackers Don’t Matter

One of my favorite eps and the most quoted one in the Mousie household.

You know what I am struck by, this time? How crazily Farscape works. I am faced with the next to last scenes of this ep: John with green face-make-up, shiny cover, attacking a bug-looking alien with a sword as it gibbers, screaming 'humans are superior' and marvelling at the fact that somehow, it all works. How crazy is it? It works, works brilliantly. Farscape took some odd risks, some strange choices, but IMO, they almost always worked out.

 And the way the humor (and this episode is bona fide hilarious) can coexist with cruelty and darkness because the ways the Moyans turn on each other is just vicious and what makes it horrible is that it’s their darkest ids, worst selves exposed - so it is them, even if the worst version of them.

And they have to live with it, with all the stuff they said and did, no easy solutions...

This is long and cap-heavy so behind read more...

I am also struck by how tight the writing is. It's obviously an organic show: it didn't have every plot detail worked out years in advance. But when things come up, they get so incorporated for later, they get brought up again, it all just fits. Just think of the little throw-away comment by Maldis in S1 that John lost his virginity to Karen Shaw, and how it comes to play in Kansas in S4. Why am I thinking of this for this ep? It's the fact that here is Harvey (his very first appearance), telling John that revenge is a dish best served cold, his whole attitude, his whole statement is so in line with the whole late S3 ep 'Revenging Angel' which echoes it so well. In RA Harvey fails to understand what makes John tick, what makes him stay alive: he is limited by his creator Scorpius. He fails to realize that what keeps John alive is hope and that for John, Aeryn is hope. (That is why chip!John in Scorpy's head in Incubator is so intractable, so final: he is post-loss-of-Aeryn, he really has nothing). What Scorpy fails in (and by extension Harvey) is to understand John on a very basic level: they don't really fit, like two odd pieces of a puzzle. Grayza of course makes the same mistake on Arnessk. It's going to sound corny, but Scorpy fails to understand goodness (not surprising considering his upbringing) while John has one-up on his opponent because he understands evil, because his face has been rubbed into it until it's raw.

I kept thinking, why is John the least affected by Traltixx in this ep? I am sure the eyesight has something to do with it (I love how Farscape turns on its head the old trope of humans being saviors because they are better. Crichton is 'better' because he is handicapped, because he doesn't see so well). But I think there are other issues here: for one thing, Crichton is a researcher, someone who must be analytical by nature. More importantly, he is attuned to oddness not just because of his post-Scorpy paranoia but because he is a stranger in a strange land, sensitized. And the thing is, just as with the chip later - knowing something is off is different from being able to put breaks on it. He periodically, alone among the rest of them, realizes something is wrong with his behavior but he is unable to truly stop it - the ugliness and the violence just come pouring out; the only concession to control is that he doesn’t kill anyone. The crew is horrifically ugly to each other in this one, but the ep is also mind-blowingly hilarious. Not like Out of their Minds, which is just plain funny. This one is funny with a hell of a sting. Some pretty bad things are said. I am struck not even as much by the Aeryn-John showdown (they know each other the best, so they really know where to hurt. Though I am still wondering how you can be both frigid and a skank :)) but I think it's because Aeryn and John cause each other such universes of pain, exactly when they are not trying to, but only trying to protect themselves or even do what is best for the other, that this is small fry. What is a little exchange of gunfire and a hit at Aeryn's being a traitor or John not measuring up to his father in comparison with Die Me Dichotomy or the coin toss or so much of late S3 or S4? Still, ouch ouch ouch.

What I am really struck by are other interactions: D'Argo with Rygel, flopping the little guy around like...well, a puppet, force-feeding him crackers. It's ugly. We haven't seen D'Argo attack a helpless being since DNA Mad Scientist, and we've forgotten, and it hurts. Though it does show a difference: here it's Traltixx doing an equivalent of drugging him. The inner savage is much further from the surface. The crew from early S1 would have succumbed to Traltixx in ten minutes flat.

 And keeping with the fact that actions always have consequences, there is no magic forgiveness at the end (though also like Farscape, there is hope of one later.)

And Crichton with Chiana. It's an unnerving scene, horrible to watch, precisely because normally John is so protective of her, because for Chiana, John is in many ways her safe harbor, her surrogate big brother, someone who she would always feel safe in the area of sex with (i.e. he won't, with her). But he turns that protection on its head, something ugly (though luckily, a bunch of the horrible stuff comes from Harvey, not John, so she doesn't hear it). 

 Yikes.

Pretty telling tho that even messed with by Traltixx, any sexual threat is not from John but is suggestion of the chip, which is doing whatever to get Crichton to kill his shipmates so he’d be easier to capture. John himself is horrifyingly cruel but does not see Chiana this way at all.

The idea he ends up liking is tying her up next to the rest of them so he could try to talk without everyone shooting each other, not anything else and thank GOD.

This is such a reversal of his attitude in Taking the Stone so I think it's interesting that the attitudes in here and TtS are juxtaposed (in TtS Crichton is losing it a bit, slowly, but it makes him more protective, not less. That is the natural 'insane' Crichton, not the one where someone took over and brought out the darkest id; when he is himself, however utterly mad and irrational, he is never wantonly cruel to his loved ones.) And then of course, later, when he is back to sanity and tries to apologize, she blows it off, acts impressed. Chiana is queen of repression in some ways, however open she is in others.

 You know, there is another reason why Crichton was the one to pull it together. (And no, I am not just referring to stubborness). He already has that edge of insanity to him and it's growing slowly larger. So has he figured out how to cope under weirdness while maintaining some control? He's had to persevere through some horrid stuff and had his head messed up with, so he can temporarily put aside distractions. But the thing is - this is only the start of Scorpius messing with his head. He can fight it on the margins for now (Harvey the Chip clearly wants him to kill everyone so he can be captured easier) but he can fight it even under the stress but we all know how it ends...

Oh yes!

He tries to tell Aeryn about seeing Scorpius but she’s also affected by the light and pays no attention and even John himself assumes it was some of the stuff Traltixx did (and I believe when they first had Scorpy show it was supposed to be a one off, not a chip) and oh boy, the misery that is going to eventually follow.

(the little correction she makes, heeeee...)

Oh boy, and eventually he will make you do that and this will be one of the worst moments of your life.

The thing is - having your mind hijacked is horrible but long before that happens to any significant degree, the layers of horror of it all are there because it’s not just John thinking he’s losing his mind and having his mind sorted through and controlled; it’s the fact that he now lives with the constant presence of his chief torturer in his head - it’s a somewhat literal metaphor for aftereffects of torture yes but also there is the sheer body horror of it which is incredible.

Yikes...

Side note - the ugliness with John and D’Argo bothers me least because they are evenly matched but also it’s pure physical violence, no emotional cruelty involved. 

Also, cool bit of foreshadowing, Chiana aligning with D'Argo here but also, the way Aeryn and John still want to jump each other in this little scene tho they were shooting at each other and have not too much rationality. Heh.

God, those two must have some truly spectacular sex once they finally get to it.

Oh, and the sheer unhinged anything goes vibe of this is so perfect. I don’t know how they manage.

And of course Zhaan just spending the whole episode orgasming and show making no bones about it - I love how just genuinely out there the show was.

Just wild...

Crichton barreling through insanity to save the day but everyone emerging a little or a lot worse for wear is a lot of the modus operandi of this show and this episode really distills it down so concisely in the most gloriously insane way.

#farscape

[your-divine-ribs]

All of Your Children Part 3

Words: 2.8k

THE TEST

All of Your Children Masterlist Main Masterlist

Three cups of tea later and you've finally managed to pee on the pregnancy test strip, Van's relief evident as he paces backwards and forwards in the bathroom.

"At last!" He cheers, darting forward to grab the strip from you.

"Wait!" You cry. "It's not instant!"

You laugh at Van's frustrated expression, all pent-up excitement bubbling away under the surface like a volcano about to erupt.

"Well... how long do we have to wait?"

You hold out a hand to him, feeling your own nerves jangling in your gut but trying to keep them contained. "Pass me the cap... that's it. Now we have to wait. It only takes 3 minutes."

"3 minutes?" Van exclaims like you've told him he's got a lengthy period of time to kill, and you giggle, instructing him to lay the test flat on the windowsill whilst you get off the toilet and pull up your underwear and wash your hands.

It's nerve-wracking enough as it is without watching Van's clear impatience. He alternates between pacing and bouncing on the balls of his feet and chewing on the nail of his thumb, random musings being muttered as they come to him.

"I'd have a ciggie but s'pose I should cut down... If you are pregnant then we'll have to cancel the American tour... and the UK one... god I really need a fag... this is the longest wait... it's gotta be 3 minutes by now..."

"Christs sake Van, chill out would you?" You blurt, your chest feeling tight, eyes flicking to the test perched there on the windowsill.

"But I can't chill out," he protests. "It's taking too long!"

"Well stop chuntering then!"

He stops still then, his eyes meeting yours, full to the brim with emotion. "I'm sorry, I just can't help it. I feel like I'm gonna burst!"

He looks so cute, full of childlike excitement, and you wonder how he's going to make it through nine long months of pregnancy if three minutes of waiting is proving to be a challenge. You glance at your watch to see that three minutes has indeed passed and you take a huge shaky inhale.

"Time's up!" You announce, reaching over to pick up the test and Van is at your side in an instant, one hand resting gently on your waist, his chin hovering over your shoulder.

"I'm bloody shaking," you complain, the test resting in your palm face down. "I don't think I can look. You look... no wait... oh god I'm so nervous!"

Van reaches over with his free hand, fingers curling around the plastic. "Right I'm turning it over in 3... 2... 1...!"

He flips the test over and you find yourself closing your eyes in a fit of nervous panic, only opening them when you hear Van breathe, "Fucking hell babe... we did it!"

The white plastic casing lies there in your outstretched palm, with the words clearly stated that you read over and over again, not quite being able to believe what you're seeing:

PREGNANT

1-2 weeks

"Oh fuck!" You say, and your voice comes out barely a whisper, your head feeling light, your knees buckling.

Luckily Van is there by your side and he grabs for your waist, steadying you, guiding you over to the side of the bath and urging you to sit down. The room feels like it's spinning, like you're on some nausea-inducing carrousel, emotions tumbling around incessantly.

"Are you okay love? You don't look so good."

Van sinks down on to his knees in front of you, his hands gently resting on your knees. His brows are knitted together in consternation.

"I'm ok... I'm just... oh god I don't know..."

You trail off uncertainly, wondering how on earth to put what you're feeling into words. You thought you'd be flying as high as a kite with joy, ecstatic and excited, and it's come as a huge shock to you that you don't actually feel any of those things. Instead you're struck with a disquieting feeling of anxiety. And what makes it even worse is you feel guilty for not letting Van enjoy this life-changing moment.

"Aren't you... happy?" He says warily.

"I am... I'm really happy, but..." You pause, at a loss for words. "I think I'm just in shock. It's just... it's actually real. We're having a baby. An actual baby. A real life little person. What if... what it something goes wrong. What if we can't cope?"

Van immediately reaches for your hands, entwining his fingers through yours. You've got your eyes closed, screwed shut, trying to steady yourself as the worries consume you, but then you hear Van's voice, calm and soothing.

"Y/N... look at me... c'mon babe open your eyes and look at me... that's it."

Your eyes flick open and see him kneeling there before you, his eyes locked on yours, an earnest expression on his face. He squeezes your hands tight as he talks.

"I love you.... You know that right? You're more important to me than anything. Music, the band... even that little baby right now. We're in this together, you and me. And no matter what happens we'll get through this... together. If you've changed your mind... if it's not the right time after all..."

"NO!" You cry with force as the insinuation in his words sinks in. "I know what you're going to say and don't say it. I want this baby, I really do, I'm just scared..."

He pauses, his eyes simmering with so much love and affection that you can feel a lump in your throat and tears pricking your eyes, deep emotion surging in you.

Those damn hormones!

"You've got nothing to be scared about... I'm here."

"But what if I'm a shit mum?" You blurt out, and as soon as the words leave you, you realise how silly they sound and a smile finds it way on to your lips.

Van's smiling too, shaking his head. "You're going to be amazing, I can just tell. Look how well you look after me, eh?"

You laugh then, blinking back the tears but a solitary one finds it's way down your cheek. You go to take your hand from Van's to brush it away but he beats you to it, raising his hands up to your face to cup your cheeks, gently wiping away the tear with the pad of his thumb.

"Yeah... and I guess you're just like a big baby!" You giggle. "Making a mess, throwing tantrums when you don't get your own way!"

Van's eyes widen in mock-offence. "Me throwing tantrums? What about you when I came in late the other night when I'd been out with Benji? You were in a right strop!"

"Too right!" You counter, smirking at him cheekily. "You woke me up crashing around and you're a right pain in the arse when you're drunk. Anyway, as the mother of your child I make the rules now and things are gonna change around here. Rule number 1... I'm always right!"

"Oh yeah?" He grins back, his hands dropping down to your hips, his fingers splayed wide. "And what's rule number 2?"

"Errr..." You raise your eyes to the ceiling, pretending to be deep in thought. "It's basically the same as rule number 1... And I want breakfast in bed at the weekends!"

"Yes ma'am!" He chuckles, rising up on to his feet, pulling you up with him.

You both stand there for a long moment, gazes locked, arms wrapped tightly around one another. All your earlier worries seem to be melting away, replaced with a warm, excited kind of contentment.

"I love you Y/N," he says, his voice soft. "And we're gonna love this baby, and you're gonna be an amazing mum... Fuck... I can't actually believe it... I'm gonna be a dad!"

His mouth drops open in wonder and you can feel the pride radiating off him already. You push yourself up on to your tip-toes to kiss him, laughing when his slack-jawed expression remains, opting to pepper small kisses all over his face instead, ending up on his lips as he hums an approval, returning the kiss.

"And you're gonna be the best dad... daddy!"

You both start laughing, eyes twinkling, almost drunk on the giddy feeling of excitement, each of your heads filled with dreams of parenthood.

Eventually you break away, reluctantly, telling Van you need to shower. He lets you go, leaving the bathroom with a definite spring in his step, singing to himself as he goes. You find you can't stop smiling, your hand absentmindedly stroking your belly.

Your good mood lingers as you shower and get ready for the day, your guilt at phoning in sick from work now that you know you're not actually poorly rapidly dissipating as you smell the scent of bacon as you wander into the kitchen. Van hardly ever cooks and it always amuses you to see him standing there in front of the cooker, pretending he has everything under control, concealing a slight sense of panic as he dashes about, checking on various cooking appliances. It's not that you have an uneven relationship when it comes to domestic chores, it's just that you love to cook and you nearly always find yourself taking over, or 'interfering' as Van likes to call it when you see him struggling.

"Ah... there you are," he says, looking mildly frazzled as he pulls out the grill pan to turn the bacon over that's sizzling away. "Just fancied a bacon sarnie. I was gonna ask if you wanted one but I know you've already had breakfast."

The bacon smells heavenly... and surprisingly Van hasn't burnt it... yet. You feel your belly growl at the thought of a bacon sandwich. "I'll have one too please, I'm actually starving!"

"Really?" He says, crossing over to the toaster and ejecting two rounds of blackened toast which he frowns at before tossing into the bin.

"Yeah, well I'm eating for two now aren't I?"

The phrase sets off a goofy grin on your face which Van returns, before he's delving into the bread packet, taking out fresh slices.

"Lightly toasted for me please... not charcoal!" You tease, dodging to the side as he swipes at you with a tea towel.

You enjoy a leisurely morning eating breakfast, then you make tea and wander into the garden with your mugs, settling down on the comfy cushioned rattan sofa that Van had purchased a few weeks back when there'd been a heatwave, the early autumn promising an Indian summer as you'd basked in the warm temperatures. Van had wanted to buy a hot tub instead, but you'd talked him out if it, thinking much more practically. You sit there now, soaking up the mid-morning rays, Van sitting at one end and you at the other, legs stretched out and resting in his lap. He has his hands on your shins, thumbs gently rubbing over your skin as you chat.

"Wonder what he's gonna look like... like is he gonna take after you or me the most? Me I reckon... he's gonna be great at footy."

Van's got a faraway look in his eyes, like he's trying to peer into the future.

"He?" You reply. "What makes you think it's going to be a boy? I reckon it'll be a girl."

You find your hand tracing your abdomen again, looking down and imagining the fabric of your dress stretched over a huge, round, swollen belly. The thought excites you.

"A girl's good... or a boy. I honestly don't mind. As long as it's healthy it's all good with me."

"I hope it's a girl," you laugh. "I don't wanna be outnumbered!"

"What if it's twins?" Van's face lights up. "Or triplets? That's even better!"

Panic shoots through you at the thought. "Bloody hell Van, don't! One at a time please!"

You carry on chatting, theorising what your child will look like, whose personality they'll resemble more, even getting ahead of yourselves and plotting out their future career. The morning stretches on, your excited chatter interspersed with more cups of tea and plentiful toilet breaks for you (how can the baby be squashing your bladder already?)

Before you know it it's nearly lunchtime and you announce that you're going inside to see what's in the fridge, when Van stops you, his hands tightening their hold on your legs as you go to swing them down to the floor and get to your feet.

"Hold on... don't get up yet. There's... errr... something I wanna give you."

"Oh?"

You look at him, your interest immediately piqued at the awkward, almost nervous look which seems to have settled itself on his features. It's most unlike Van. You watch suspiciously as he fidgets in his seat, finally letting go of your legs which you plant on the floor, waiting.

He pats the cushion right next to where he's sitting. "C'mon, c'mere."

"What is it?" You ask, getting up quickly and stepping towards him, taking the seat next to him, angling your body towards his.

He rubs his hands on his jeans, taking a deep breath which again strikes you as a nervous action. Your intrigue is in overdrive.

"Now you gotta close your eyes."

"What? What is this? Just tell me!"

"Nuh-huh," he shakes his head, smiling now. "Now do as you're told! Go on!"

You scrunch up your face, sticking out your tongue at him in a silly gesture. "God you're so bossy!"

"Y/N!" He sounds exasperated now so you concede with a grin, making a show of screwing your eyes shut tight and even putting your hands over your eyes for good measure.

"You got 'em shut?" You hear him say, and you feel his elbow nudge gently into your side.

"Yeah, yeah, they're shut!"

"You sure?"

"Yes I'm sure!"

"No peeking!"

"I'm not! Just get on with it! I'm impatient now!"

You start to giggle, frustrated but in a purely excited way. You're at a loss to imagine what Van's doing. If he's bought you a gift you'd have thought he'd have got up and gone back into the house to retrieve it, but you can feel his body still next to yours, although you can hear him shifting his position and feel his thigh rubbing up against yours as he positions himself presumably facing you on the chair.

"Hold on... don't look yet," you hear him mutter, and you realise by his voice that he's close. Really close. He's practically speaking directly into your ear.

"What are you..."

"Don't look!" He urges quickly.

You've tied up your hair in a messy ponytail to keep it out of your face and you feel something brush your neck. It tickles and makes you jolt and you catch your bottom lip in your teeth to stifle a giggle. You can tell Van's really near now, leaning into you. You can actually feel his warm breath on your face.

"Can I open them yet?"

"Hold on... just a sec... nearly done..."

His fingers brush your neck again, but there's something else, another sensation. You feel something laying on the bare skin of your upper chest, just along the neckline of your dress.

"There... there... done it. You can look now."

Your fingers instinctively reach up to the feel of something cool and light on your skin, touching it just as you open your eyes to see Van beaming at you. You can feel a pendant attached to a thin chain, your fingers closing around it as your eyes go straight to Van's neck, noticing his own necklace is missing.

"Van! Your necklace!" You breath, shock flooding you as you turn the semi-circular pendant over and over in your fingers. It's definitely his, you can feel the semi-circular shape and the raised icon on its surface.

He doesn't say anything, he just grins in that boyish, slightly crooked way of his that you love so much.

"But... but you never take it off! Your dad gave it to you!"

His grin widens as he reaches for your hands, taking them in his.

"I know... but I also told you the story behind it didn't I? It's supposed to be passed down to my kid one day, and I want you to do that Y/N. This is it now... me and you. Us two... well us three soon." He pauses, his eyes flicking down to your belly. "I want to spend the rest of my life with you."

You're speechless for a moment, letting the weight of his words sink in. Then you're laughing and smiling, pulling your hands from his grip so you can reach out for him, taking his face in your hands and pulling him to you in a sweet kiss.

"I love you so much Van. I'm so happy... you make me so happy!"

"I love you too Y/N... so much."

#all of your children #dad van #van mccann x reader #au fanfic #vanfic

[starspangledbigbang]

Welcome to the 2022 Star-Spangled MINI Bang!

The Star-Spangled Big Bang is a chance for writers and artists to collaborate and create stories paired with artwork, all of which will focus on Captain America & Co. This year’s bang will be a mini-bang. Authors sign up to write stories that are 5k words or longer. Artists then claim stories and create art inspired by them. 

July 13, Wednesday - All sign-ups open  Aug 6, Saturday - Author sign-ups close  August 13, Saturday - Author slides due + 1K Due August 14, Sunday - Slides go out August 19, Friday- Artist sign-ups close  August 20, Saturday - Claims open, Partnerships announced  Sept 11, Sunday - Check-in #1  October 9, Sunday - Author & Artist Check-in #2, Posting Date Claims  November - Posting period 

Content Guidelines/Code of Conduct

Every creation must be centered around at least one character who has appeared in the Captain America MCU trilogy or The Falcon and the Winter Soldier television show, or has been Captain America in any media canon. Any and all additional characters are welcome as long as the main focus is on the Cap-centric character.

Any and all ratings are welcome, as well as any setting, be it canon, canon divergent, or AU. Creators will be able to outline their preferences on rating, do-not-wants, and collaboration interest level if desired so that participants may take that into consideration when choosing what stories they’d like to collab with. 

Please be mindful of portraying marginalized communities respectfully. This page from Writing With Color has a list of blogs and resources that discuss diversity in writing. Any creations that sympathetically portray hate groups or actively promote racism, transphobia, homophobia, etc. will not be accepted.

All fics must be edited, beta read, and legible. All content must be thoroughly and appropriately tagged.

Please be respectful of your fellow participants. This event is designed to be inclusive regarding characters, ships, kinks, etc. and therefore we will not allow kinkshaming or ship/character bashing within event spaces. We are a diverse community and will not tolerate any racism, transphobia, homophobia, harassment, etc. This includes harassment, targeting, and general inappropriate behavior towards the mods, who are fans just like you, doing this for fun in their spare time to share more Captain America love.

What sort of content am I committing to if I sign up?

Authors will be required to create one original, cohesive story with a minimum of 5k words (no maximum). Artists will claim one or more stories (depending on the number of sign-ups we receive, as well as artist interest) and create one piece inspired by that story. Each collab team will be required to create a banner for the master post as well.

We are also accepting sign-ups for pinch hitters (both author and artist) and beta readers. You can sign up for multiple roles, or just one role. Pinch hitters and beta readers do not need to commit to anything at the time of sign up; you’ll be notified when we need your help and can decide at that time whether you’re able to participate.

What sort of artwork is acceptable?

All art must be visual, original art. By original art, we mean that the final product must be an original product of the artist. Using photos for reference is fine, and you can use whatever traditional or digital medium you require, so long as the art starts and finishes as your own product. Photo manips are allowed as long as they have been significantly edited, via Photoshop or other programs, to clearly resemble original art. Hit up the mods if you need clarity on an idea.

What ships are allowed?

Every creation must be centered around at least one character who has appeared in the Captain America MCU trilogy or The Falcon and the Winter Soldier television show, or has been Captain America in any media canon. Any and all additional characters are welcome as long as the main focus is on the Cap-centric character. Other than that note, we welcome any and all ships for the main pairings, including polyamorous ships, queerplatonic ships, and genfic. All side pairings are welcome as well.

Are there any age restrictions for participation?

Sorry, but yes. You’ve got to be 18 or over to participate.

Can I use a work that I’ve published previously, or that’s been sitting in my drafts for 3 years?

For this event, we need all original content, none of which has been published previously. That being said, if you’ve got an outline or a draft that’s been hanging around your WIP folder for too long, now’s the perfect time to dust it off and finish it! You can submit that work to be claimed. 

What if a friend and I want to work together?

Writing or artist teams are welcome, but since claims will be anonymous, no author/artist team sign-ups will be allowed.

How will claiming work?

Authors will create slides with information on their stories, and authors must have a minimum of 1k words written to be considered for claims.

The mods will compile the author submissions anonymously to share with the artists prior to claims. Once claims open, artists will submit their choices via Google forms.

Where are the submissions going to be hosted?

All submissions will be posted on AO3. We will also promote all creations on Tumblr and Twitter.

What if I can’t finish on time, will I get an extension?

We’ll have plenty of check-ins to make sure that you will indeed finish on time! If you’ve got any concerns, the mods will work with you to find a solution on a case-by-case basis. We will also enlist the help of pinch hitters if necessary. If you drop before claims, there will be no penalty; however if you ghost us after claims and leave your partner hanging, we’ll take that into account for participation in future events depending on the circumstances.

We do ask that as you know you can no longer continue in the event please speak with a mod as soon as possible. We understand situations happen but the sooner we know, the sooner we can get your partner a pinch-hitter. 

Can I post work-in-progress snippets on my personal blog?

Yes! Prior to claims, all snippets and sneak peeks must be shared anonymously; the mods will assist in this process. Once claims are done, you will be able to announce your team and share snippets as you create. Please keep snippets to 500 words or less, and roughly ⅓ of the artwork or less.

I can’t sign up, but I still want to participate, what can I do?

No worries, there are lots of ways for you to help support the Bang! Follow us on Twitter and Tumblr; reblog, comment, and share our posts to spread the word. We’ll also be asking for help with beta reading, pinch-hitting, and other cool ways for you to get involved!

Where can I find event info?

Info on the SS(M)B will be posted on Tumblr (@starspangledbigbang) and Twitter (@starspangledbb), with a collection on AO3. We will also have a Discord for participants.

Who are the mods?

Your friendly SS(M)B mods are bangyababy, Call_Me_Kayyyyy, and nachodiablo.

I’ve got more questions, help!

No problem, we’re happy to hear from you! Ping us on one of the social media sites above, or email starspangledmods at gmail dot com.

So, where can I sign up? You can sign up here!

#star spangled big bang #captain america #captain america event #ssbb 2022

[specialsummon]

Today, I like so many others woke to the news of Kazuki Takahashi’s passing. It took a while for it to sink in. 4:30am is not a time fit for man or beast to absorb information after two hours of sleep as they shuffle around getting ready for an opening shift at work. (Thank you, beloved cat, for knocking over my nightstand and startling me awake long before my alarm went off.) But sink in the news did, eventually, and in the lull periods at work I found myself tearing up. I still am. I try not to get personal on this blog - it is a resource blog, after all - but today I am making an exception. Today’s cap post will go up as scheduled, I promise. I was in middle school when the Yu-Gi-Oh! anime began airing in the US. I was not very interested in it at first. The character designs looked weird (anime was still a very ‘new’ thing to me) and it was too much of a hassle to get Kids WB to come through clear on the analog TV antenna my family had at the time. I brushed it off while flipping through magazines in the grocery store, looking for topics relevant to my interests. It would not be until our annual summer vacation that I would be exposed to Yu-Gi-Oh! proper, thanks to the cable TV in our hotel room. I watched an episode out of sheer boredom, as the TV only got five channels. I could not tell you what episode it was now, just that it was Duelist Kingdom. I was instantly hooked. In the years that followed Yu-Gi-Oh! would become a bright spot in an otherwise turbulent and often stressful time in my life. High school was not kind to me, and my world was so very small. But Yu-Gi-Oh! and a newly installed dial-up internet connection brought me comfort and joy amidst the struggle. I made new friends though Neopets message boards and AIM because of this series. In the offline world I deepened already established friendships through a mutual love of both the series and the card game. It was a huge, important part of my life, and I loved it dearly. The series finale even aired the same morning I graduated high school! I was salty about having to go sit out in the sun to receive a piece of paper instead of being able to watch the finale live; thankfully, I made triple sure to record the episode on VHS before I left the house. And I cried, both because the finale was emotional when I finally got to sit down and watch it, and because two chapters of my life closed that day. I will never forget the impact Yu-Gi-Oh! has had on my life. Friendships forged through it are still going strong all these years later, both online and off. It gave me something to look forward to each week at a time where there was little else and made the hard times just a little bit easier. It has made the last two years so much more bearable. Thank you, Mr. Takahashi, for everything you gave us with this series. The life lessons, the connections that made our worlds open up to people we may have never met otherwise. Thank you for everything that you gave me. Rest well. - Copper

#Mod Post #Non-Cap Post #Death Mention #YuGiOh

[youngtiffany]

the process of getting rejected by cats : lalisa style

#blackpink #blackpinknet #lalisa #femaleidolsedit #femaleidol #ggnet #kgirlsquad #gif #this was caps for a long period of time and finally i am able to gifs my girl

[sirfrogsworth]

Everything is an adventure.

I went over to the hospital to pick up my mom's belongings. I was worried I might need her phone and purse to help pay the bills and whatnot.

I didn't wear pants.

I elected to stay in my shorts.

I didn't realize the windchill was like -5 or something stupid like that.

But I figured I'd only be outside for a brief period of time and it takes my tree trunk legs a long time to get cold so I should be fine.

F O R E S H A D O W I N G

The hospital parking lot was packed. I had to park 3/4 of the way to the back of the lot. Thankfully the walk wasn't too bad and all the extra fat on my legs kept them warm for that short jaunt.

As soon as I entered the hospital three different people were yelling at me.

"Have you had COVID in the last 10 days?" "Who are you here to see?" "You need to wear a different mask!"

My head was spinning trying to figure out who to acknowledge first. I got my visitors tag, then they directed me to the proper masks outside the door, then I had to go to reception to get permission to see my mom in the ICU. But the woman kept calling 516 instead of 16. I don't know if the 5th floor is still expecting me or not. Then someone realized I wasn't standing in the proper spot so they yelled at me to move behind the barrier. Which, duh... COVID. I don't get out much and I am not used to all the protocols. Finally they said, "You're clear, go to those elevators."

After getting off on the proper floor, I followed a maze of hallways to the ICU. There were two giant double doors with a phone beside them and a sign instructing you to pick up the phone before entering. I felt like I was entering the Pentagon or something. I lifted the receiver and it started ringing. A woman answered and says "Don't worry about the phone, just come in." I open the double doors to another long hallway and I saw a nurse waving at me.

I walk up to the ICU desk and on the other side I can see my mother sealed in her room.

I wasn't expecting her to just be... right there.

I almost started crying. She was just sleeping with a big tube coming out of her mouth. She didn't look like she was in any pain. She just looked like she was peacefully sleeping.

Before I could start breaking down the nurse asked if I was there to pick up her stuff. I nodded. She had to go through a whole procedure just to enter my mom's room. New surgical cap, new mask, new gown. The doors to my mother's room were heavy and you could see the effort it took to slide them open. And I just watched as she gathered my mom's things.

She asked me to check if everything was there and I asked if my mom's condition was the same. She politely nodded in the affirmative.

No steps forward, no steps back.

It didn't seem like going into her room would accomplish anything except create a hassle for the nurse. I wouldn't be able to hold her hand or hug her. Nor would she even know I was there. So I took one last look and left.

I backtracked through the maze of hallways and found an elevator. What I didn't realize was that elevator was a different one than I used before. When I exited on the ground floor I had no idea where I was. I probably should have gone back up and found the original elevator. But I saw a big red exit sign and figured that would take me where I needed to go.

I was mistaken about that.

That exit sign led to another exit sign and that led to 10 more exit signs. They took me in a giant zigzag pattern. I kept going from hallway to hallway following these damn exit signs. I could feel myself getting loster. Which is not a word, but appropriate in this instance.

I probably should have asked where to go, but everyone looked busy doing something important. I came to the final exit sign. I could see daylight outside some automatic doors.

As I emerged I found myself in... the ambulance bay.

Why would you set up a bunch of exit signs to lead people to the ambulance bay?

I then realized the bay was on the opposite side of the hospital.

I must have a terrible sense of direction because I had no idea I was going in the opposite direction.

So, I started walking around the outside of the hospital. I figured it couldn't be that far. But apparently hospitals are sizeable buildings and not easy to walk around. With each step, I could feel my legs getting colder.

I really should have worn pants.

Eventually, I reached the emergency room on the side of the hospital. But there didn't seem to be a clear path through to the main entrance. I walked in and asked if there was some alternate route I could take inside the hospital. He told me I had to walk towards the main street until I found a sidewalk.

So not only was I walking *around* the hospital, I now had to walk *around* the landscaping in front of the hospital.

I finally found the sidewalk he was talking about. It was incredibly far from where I parked. And it was uphill. I felt like I was trapped in one of those stories Grandpas tell about going to school in the snow.

I could at least see my destination now. But I was not looking forward to walking it. I started my trek up the sidewalk and the first 100 feet were fine. But then I noticed an odd sensation in my legs. My muscles were burning from the inside and my skin was freezing from the outside. I started running out of breath. And I was still a long way from the car. I looked for a place to sit, but I was so far away from anything like that. My only option was to just sit on the grass next to the sidewalk.

So I just kept going.

It probably wasn't very far by most people's standards. But I felt like I was a fucking hobbit returning my mom's purse to Mordor. It probably took me 10 minutes to finally reach the car. I have not walked for 10 minutes straight in a very long time. I was so relieved to rest my freezing/burning legs. I just sat in my car and recovered.

Maybe getting lost and freezing my legs off was a good thing. I quickly forgot about the trauma of seeing my mom like that. It gave me something else to focus on while I processed that experience in my subconscious.

Still, I'm going to start wearing pants in the cold now.

[waitimcomingtoo]

This is Me Trying

Part one and two

Pairing: Peter Parker x Reader enemies to lovers!

Synopsis: it’s time for secrets to come out

Masterlist

“How’s the project coming along?” You asked as you laid your head in Peter’s lap. You were in his room, like you always were, a month after you officially started dating.

“Just about done.” He answered you. “I made the periods bigger so we’d hit the maximum page length.”

“Ooo.” You snickered. “What a bad boy.”

“I’m really not.” He chuckled and began to play with your hair. “This is the most incriminating thing I’ve done all year.”

“I wouldn’t mind if you were.” You shrugged. “I like bad boys.”

“Do you?”

“Yeah. Remember that guy that like died in the war but then came back to life as an assassin? From a few years ago?” You asked as you looked up at him.

“The Winter Soldier?” Peter wondered.

“Yeah. Him.” You nodded. “I wanted to fuck him.”

The bluntness in your tone knocked the wind out of Peter’s chest. Nothing could have prepared him for what you had just said. You were too busy laughing to notice how shaken he was.

“W-what?” He stuttered as you sat up.

“I don’t know.” You laughed. “Like, I knew he was a murderer but I was into it. I wanted to spread him on a cracker.”

Peter pouted and folded his arms, his jealously getting the better of him.

“He’s not as strong as he looks, you know.” Peter got defensive. “And his hair is super greasy. It’s like a freaking slip and slide up there.”

“Hm. That’s a problem for me. I’m more into curls.” You smiled as you ran your fingers through his hair. “And how would you know how strong he is?”

Peter gulped, realizing he had said a little too much. Spider-Man knew how strong Bucky was, but you didn’t know about that.

“I don’t.” He lied. “I’m just assuming.”

“You don’t think he’s strong with that metal arm?” You asked as you pulled up a picture of him on your phone. “His biceps are like the size of my head.”

“They’re only bigger than mine because he’s older. A lot older.” Peter insisted. “Like, he’s geriatric.”

“Oh my God. Look at him!” You ignored Peter’s comment and showed him a picture of Bucky. “I want to suck on his thighs.”

“Ew.” Peter whined. “He’s like 400 years old.”

“So what you’re telling me is he’s experienced.” You raised your eyebrows suggestively. Peter let out an angry huff, jealousy bubbling in his stomach.

“Gross.” He groaned. “Why are you saying this in front of me? I’m your boyfriend. Not him.”

“I’m just kidding, Pete.” You chuckled and cupped his chin. “Plus, he’s basically a fictional character to us. It’s not like he’s some guy we know.”

Peter looked to the side, hating when he had to lie to you. Bucky was someone he knew personally, but you didn’t know that.

“Hm.” Peter mumbled quietly. You noticed Peter’s expression and climbed into lab, straddling his hips.

“Hey, I’m sorry.” You cupped his face and rubbed your nose against his. “I didn’t mean to make you all pouty. I’m only kidding about the Summer Soldier.”

“Winter Soldier.” Peter halfheartedly corrected you.

“Winter Soldier. See?” You shrugged. “I don’t even know his name.”

“You still said you would fuck him, though.” Peter pouted as he looked down at his lap.

“I said I wanted to. Past tense.” You corrected. “I had crush on him when I was like 14. I don’t even think of him or his thunder thighs anymore.”

“I have a hard time believing that.” Peter grumbled. You could tell he was still jealous so you pulled him in for a long kiss.

“It’s true. I only have eyes for you, Pete.” You whispered once you pulled away. He cracked a smile before rolling his eyes at you.

“Right.” He said sarcastically. “Just me and the murderer you want in your pants.”

“Come on.” You whined when he didn’t let up. “Can you even blame me? He works with the Avengers. You have to admit, that’s hot.”

Peter stopped pouting when he heard this. He may not be able to be the kind of bad boy you liked, but he was an Avenger.

“You really think that’s hot?” He raised an eyebrow.

“Duh.” You stated. “Don’t you like the Avengers?”

“Most of them.” He nodded. “But not Bucky.”

“Who’s Bucky?” You asked.

“Sorry.” He shook his head. “The Winter Soldier.”

“Why did you call him Bucky?” You laughed in confusion. You had no idea who James “Bucky” Barnes was. Unlike Peter, who sat across from him at dinner a week before.

“That’s his nickname.” Peter explained without thinking it through.

“I didn’t realize you and the Winter Soldier were on a nickname basis.” You teased. “What does he call you?”

“He doesn’t really talk to me.” Peter shrugged. “He’s really quiet, except when he’s with Cap.”

You sat back suddenly, looking at Peter like he was crazy. He was forgetting who his audience was and how you knew nothing of his double life.

“What?” Peter asked when he saw your face.

“Bucky? Cap?” You repeated his words. “Who are these people? What the hell are you talking about?”

“Bucky goes by, well, Bucky. And most of us call Steve, Cap.” Peter explained. “Well, except for Mr. Stark. He calls him Blondie most of the time.”

“So you’re hanging out with the avengers now?” You raised a skeptical eyebrow.

“Well, yeah, when when I’m…” Peter trailed off when he realized his mistake.

“When you’re what?” You asked. Peter knew he backed himself into a corner here. He didn’t want to lie to you anymore, so he figured it was time to tell you the truth. Not that he has much of a choice.

“I have something to tell you.” He stated. “It’s kinda important.”

“Okay.” You nodded and held his hand. “What’s up?”

“Don’t freak out, okay?” He prefaced. “It’s not as crazy as it sounds.”

“Oh.” You gasped. “Are you gay?”

“What? No.” Peter answered immediately. “Why was that your first guess?”

“Well my first guess was steroids but I know how you feel about that.” You mumbled out of the corner of your mouth.

“It’s neither of those things. I’ve Uh…I’ve been bitten.” Peter began, not sure how else to phrase it. You smiled a little, thinking he was flirting.

“So have I.” You mumbled as you brought his hand to your lips to kiss the back of it.

“No. Not like that.” He waved his hand and your face fell. “I mean, yes like that. But that’s not what I’m talking about right now.”

“Then what is it, Peter?”

“They do a lot of experimental science at Oscorp. Genetic mutations, stuff like that.” He explained, beating around the bush.

“Why are we talking about Oscorp?” You wondered.

“I broke into one of the labs freshman year.” He explained. “I was trying to figure out some equation my father was working on.”

“Okay.” You said skeptically.

“I ended up in this weird room with all these modified spiders and one bit me. Right here.” He showed you his knuckles, which had a tiny scar on the center. You took his hand and examined the scar closer.

“What is this leading to?”

“After I was bitten, I could do all these things I couldn’t do before.” He told you. “I could climb walls, lift buses, and you know, my biceps grew.”

“You’re telling me a spider bite gave you muscles?”

“I’m telling you that I’m Spider-Man.” He said finally, making the room go silent. It was his first time telling a person on purpose, so it meant a lot to him. Your expression changed from skeptical to serious as you dropped his hand. You reached forward slowly and touched his face, staring at him like you were seeing him for the first time.

“Oh my God.” You whispered. “Peter, you’re…”

He put his hand over yours when you trailed off, anticipating the end of your sentence. Suddenly, you pushed his face away with a smirk.

“Full of shit.” You finished. “You are so full of shit. You almost had me.”

“I’m not.” Peter insisted. “I am Spiderman. I swear.”

“Peter. Be serious.” You whined as you got off his bed. “I thought you had something real to tell me.”

“I am being serious.” He told you. “This is the truth.”

“This is the truth.” You mimicked his voiced, like you used to. “Why would I believe that? Because you called the Fall Fighter by his nickname? Please.”

Peter was starting to grow frustrated. He always feared someone would find out his secret and he’s have to beg them not to tell. He never imagined he’d be sitting in front of his girlfriend, trying to convince her he was Spiderman.

“I know Bucky’s nickname because I know him.” Peter explained as he got off his bed. “It’s the same reason I know how strong he isn’t. He tried to punch me once and I caught his fist before he could. And that thing is made of vibranium. My hand hurt for a week.”

“I don’t get it.” You shrugged. “I don’t get the joke.”

“It’s not a joke. I really am Spiderman.” He insisted. “Mr. Stark recruited me back in 2016 to help him fight Captain America at an airport in Germany.”

“Yeah.” You nodded. “And I killed Princess Diana. I killed her and framed John-“

Peter grabbed your face and kissed you to shut you up, not wanting to hear your jokes when he was trying to tell you the biggest secret of his life.

“Can you shut up for a second?” He asked sweetly when he pulled away. “I’m trying to talk to you about something important. And we both know who really killed her.”

“No you’re not.” You snorted. “You’re trying to mess with me.”

“I’m telling you the truth.” He whined. “Why won’t you believe me?”

“Because you’re saying ridiculous things.” You chuckled as you walked over to your phone, which had been resting on his desk.

“May’s asking what we want for dinner.” You read her text off your screen. “Do you want Chinese again or-“

Before you could finish your sentence, Peter shot a web at your waist and pulled you towards him. You stumbled into his arms before looking down in confusion. You saw the web attached to your hip and tugged at it, but it didn’t come off. You looked at Peter with wide eyes for some answers.

“What the fuck?” You whispered harshly as you yanked on the web.

“Do you believe me now?” He asked as he held up his wrist. You saw the web shooter he had slipped on and touched it carefully. Between the web on your hip and his crazy story, you had no choice but to believe him.

“Well now I’m just embarrassed.” You mumbled sheepishly. “I was pretty sure I was right.”

“I told you you’d have to get used to be being right.” Peter smirked as he helped pull the web off of you. You put your hands on your hips and sighed loudly as you processes the information.

“Okay, wait.” You began. “How have you been Spider-Man this whole time? I’ve seen you fall up the stairs.”

“It’s different when I have the suit on.” He told you. “It gives me confidence.”

“Can I see it?” You asked, a childlike smile on your lips.

“The suit? Sure.” Peter went to his closet and pulled it out of his hiding spot. He brought it over to you, noticing your awestruck expression and smiling.

“Wow.” You whispered as you stared at the folded suit. “Can I touch it?”

“Go ahead.” He smiled, loving how impressed you were. He watched you fondly as you carefully ran your fingertips along the suit, tracing all the lines and details.

“It feels like a football.” You commented, making him laugh.

“Yeah.” He agreed. “I’m not sure what material it is. Mr. Stark made it for me.”

“Tony Stark made this for you?” You gasped.

“Yeah.” He nodded. “A few years ago.”

“Is that when he recruited you?” You wondered. “For Germany?”

“Is it. You listened.” He smiled happily when you remembered little details he had told you.

“Well I can’t tune you out anymore if you’re my boyfriend.” You winked at him before returning your attention to the suit. He blushed a little, appreciating how far you’ve come in your relationship.

“Can you put it on for me?” You asked suddenly as you looked up at him. Peter didn’t expect this reaction, especially not this request.

“Really? You want me to put it on?” He smiled shyly.

“Please?” Your eyes lit up. “I want to see you in it.”

“Okay.” He nodded as he tried to hide his excitement. “I’ll go put it on.”

Peter went into his bathroom and slipped into the suit. He didn’t know why he was as excited as he was to show you. Maybe because you hadn’t caught him in the suit like May and Ned had. He told you his secret willingly, and you asked to know more.

“Are you ready?” You called from the other side of the door. “I feel like I’m waiting to see you walk down the aisle.”

“I’m ready.” He called back as he pressed the center of the suit so it tightened against his skin. He gave himself one last look in the mirror before going back to his bedroom.

“Here it is.” He said sheepishly as he walked towards you. “What do you think?”

Your jaw dropped a little when you saw him. He seemed taller, but you realized it was just because he wasn’t slouching. In his suit, he looked more confident then you had ever seen him. He looked like a hero, and it brought a smile to your face.

“Holy shit.” You whispered as you walked closer to him. You reached forward to touch him, but quickly moved withdrew your hand.

“Are you scared?” He worried when he saw you pull away.

“No. Not of you.” You assured him. “But sometimes I find random glitter on my hands and I’m scared of getting anything on the suit.”

Peter chuckled at your reasoning and picked up your hand.

“It’s okay. You can touch me.” He whispered as he put his hand on his chest. Your eyebrows went up when you felt his warmth through the suit.

“Wow.” You smiled softly. “I didn’t think I’d be able to feel your heartbeat through it”.

“Well you make it beat pretty fast.” He told you as he put his hand over yours.

“Wait.” You pulled away a little. “If you’re Spider-Man, does that mean…”

“Yes?” Peter asked when you trailed off.

“You can set me up with Bucky.” You finished your sentence. “Do you have his number? Tell him I want to wash his hair.”

Peter let out a loud groan, not finding your joke funny. You laughed and tried to pull him back to you, but he kept pulling away.

“I’m kidding. I’m kidding. Come back.” You laughed and tugged on his arm. “Come here. I love you.”

Peter stopped pulling away and froze. When you saw the bewildered look on his face, your smile fell.

“What?” He asked, his voice coming out in a whisper. That shit eating grin you used to hate broke through, lighting up his features. You tried not to let your shock show as you realized what you had said.

“Hm?” You pretended not to understand. “What?”

“What did you just say?” Peter again, now unsure he has heard you correctly.

“I didn’t say anything.” You shrugged, trying to act like you didn’t just tell your boyfriend that you loved him. It’s not that you didn’t mean it, but you didn’t mean to tell him that soon.

“Did you just tell me you loved me?” Peter asked hopefully as he pulled your closer to him.

“Hm. No. Wasn’t me.” You shook your head. “Must have been the wind.”

“My windows are closed.”

“Air conditioning.” You corrected.

“It’s off.”

“Then I don’t know what to tell you. I didn’t tell you I loved you. That would be ridiculous. How could I have fallen in love with the most annoying person on the planet?” You asked, questioning yourself more then him. You didn’t know how you had fallen for Peter in such a short amount of time. Just a few months ago, you couldn’t stand him. Now, you were standing in front of him, hoping he loved you back.

“I ask myself that every time I look at you.” He said, making your breath hitch in your throat.

“Are you saying you love me too?” You asked slowly.

“I thought you didn’t tell me you loved me?” He smirked, always taking a chance to tease you.

“I didn’t.” You lied, but you knew you were caught.

“Damn. That’s a shame.” Peter smiled softly. “Because I love you.”

“Yeah.” You smiled back once he confessed his feelings. “I bet you do, loser.”

Peter laughed at your never ending need to insult him before pulling you into a kiss. You wrapped your arms around his neck to keep him close. You could feel his gloved hands on the bare skin of your waist and shivered. When you pulled away, you kept your foreheads pressed together.

“I never thought it would be you.” You mumbled as you twirled one of his curls around your finger. “I never thought I’d fall in love with you.”

“It surprised me too.” He chuckled. “I’m glad this happened though. You weren’t just who I wanted to be. You were who I wanted to be with.”

“Promise me you’ll be careful.” You whispered. “I don’t ever want to get a call at three am telling me I need to come to the hospital. And I don’t want to start bringing three roses to the cemetery instead of two.”

“Hey, I’m not going anywhere.” He assured you as he held your face between his hands. He wiped your tears away with his gloves hands and kissed your nose. “I would never go anywhere where you couldn’t follow”.

“Ew.” You sniffled as you wiped your eyes.

“Why ew?” He chuckled.

“We’re gross.” You said. “We fell in love and now we’re gross.”

“It’s okay.” He smiled. “I like being gross with you.”

“I’m gonna throw up.” You gagged, making you both laugh.

“You’ll be okay.” He told you, and you believed him.

“Okay, now that we got that conversation out of the way, I have a lot of questions about all of this.” You said as you gestured to his suit.

“Ask me anything.” He said. “I’ll answer.”

“What did you wear before this?” You wondered. “I saw Spider-Man sightings on the news before 2016.”

Peter went to his closet and pulled out his original Spider-Man suit, the makeshift hoodie he used to wear.

“This. I made it myself.” He said as he handed it to you.

“No kidding.” You teased as you took it from him. “Did you sew this with your feet?”

“It was the best I could do.” He rolled his eyes. “I’m so lucky he made me a real suit. This one was not very protective.”

“Actually, I kind of like it.” You smiled as you held it up. It had bullet holes and tears everywhere. “It shows where you’ve been. And how far you’ve come.”

“I like your way of looking at it.” He smiled. “It’s yours, if you like it so much. I don’t need it anymore.”

“Why don’t you tell people that its you? This would make you famous. Like, Tony Stark famous.” You said as you put the hoodie on. “Don’t you want that? You know, since you’re such a loser at school.”

“Very funny”. He narrowed his eyes at you. “And no, actually. I’m safer this way. Plus, the bad guys can’t tell if I’m scared with the mask on. And it’s fun to have a secret. It gives me an edge.”

“Wow. I did not think me telling you I wanted to fuck the Winter Soldier would lead to all of this.” You poked fun at the situation.

“Me either but I’m glad it did.” He remarked. “I’m happy that you know. And I’m happy that you love me.”

“Well don’t make a big deal out of it.” You mumbled. “It’s embarrassing.”

“Don’t be embarrassed.” He laughed. “This is exciting. It’s all exciting.”

“We get it.” You teased as you wrapped your arms around his neck. “You’re an Avenger, I’m in love with you, yada yada. It’s not that big of a deal.”

“It’s the hugest deal.” He insisted. “I want you to meet them. Come meet my team.”

“You want me to meet the Avengers?” You gulped.

“Yeah. I’m supposed to stop by the tower later for a meeting. Why don’t you come with me? This is one of the rare days where everyone is in the tower.”

“Are you sure about this?” You asked him. “What if they don’t like me?”

“They probably won’t.” He said simply. “Since you’re so irritating and everything.”

“Shut up.” You shoved him playfully. “I’m serious. This is way more intimidating than meeting someone’s parents.”

“Don’t be scared. I’ll be holding your hand the entire time.” He said as he kissed your knuckles. “And they’re way less intimidating than they seem. I promise, you’ll be fine.”

“Okay.” You reluctantly agreed. “I’ll meet them. But if I see Bucket, I can’t promise I’ll be able to control my hormones.”

“It’s Bucky.” He corrected. “And I’ll know if you’re getting too, you know, hot and bothered.”

“How would you know?” You asked, and his face flushed.

“Well, one of the powers I got was super smell. I can smell when people are scared or happy or…” He trialed off, too much or a gentleman to say the word.

“Horny?” You asked with a dropped jaw. “You can smell when people are horny?”

“I prefer the term aroused.” He said sheepishly, making you laugh loudly.

“Oh my God. What a pervert.” You teased him.

“It’s not my fault!” He was flustered now. “I didn’t ask for this power.”

“Wait.” You realized. “Can you smell when I’m aroused?”

Peter didn’t answer, but his silence spoke volumes. Your jaw dropped as you playfully smacked him.

“You pervert!” You painfully scolded. “You could smell that and never told me?”

“It’s my my fault.” He whined. “Not all the time, anyway.”

“So when is it your fault?” You folded your arms and he gulped.

“It’s only my fault when I purposefully wear that one white shirt.” He said quietly. “Whenever I’m wearing it, I can always, you know...”

“Smell me?” You nearly screamed. “You wear that shirt just to get a rise out of me? You little slut.”

“I’m not a slut.” Peter laughed. “I could just smell how much you liked it, so I started wearing it more. And in the name of being honest, I can smell you right now.”

“Oh my God. You whore. You little minx.” You taunted playfully. “Using your body for attention like that. What a dirty little slut.”

“I’m not dirty or a slut.” Peter insisted. “You’re the one who gets worked up over a t shirt.”

“Excuse me?” You let out a shocked laugh. “Don’t turn this around on me, mister. I can’t control how I react to your erotic clothing. Especially when you’re the one who can’t even form a sentence around me when I wear that one red skirt.”

“Erotic?” He shot back. “It’s literally a $5 shirt from Target. It’s shapeless. And that skirt could not be shorter. I can literally see your ovaries in it.”

“You give it shape with your stupid spider muscles.” You said as you pointed an accusing finger at him.

“Oh my God.” He gasped. “You’re thinking about the shirt now, aren’t you?”

“No I’m not.” You said quickly.

“Really?” He cocked his head. “Smells like you are.”

Before you could respond, and you had a lot to say, Peter’s phone buzzed.

“It’s Mr. Stark.” He told you. “He said I should come now.”

“We’re finishing this conversation later.” You said as you grabbed your phone. “You’re still in trouble.”

“Whatever you say.” Peter chuckled as he lead you out the door. You thought you were going to the elevator, but Peter brought you to the staircase.

“I don’t walk there.” He said as he lead you up the stairs. He opened the door to the roof and gestured to the edge. “I swing.”

The next thing you knew, you were swinging towards the Avengers tower in Peter’s arms. You held on tightly to him as you tried not to scream in his ear. He was loving how he finally got to show someone what his life was like while you were fearing for your life. Finally, you landed on the balcony of the tower and Peter set you down.

“So?” He asked excitedly. “Did you have fun?”

“You tell me. Can’t you smell my excitement?” You jeered as you caught your breath. Peter knew you weren’t going to drop that for a long time. He took his mask off and lead you inside, not wanting to tell you that he could smell how scared you were.

Finally, he brought you to the conference room where the rest of the Avengers were. Their causal chatter came to a stop when you walked in together and all eyes were on you.

“Hey everyone.” Peter said shyly. “This is my girlfriend, Y/n. Shes gonna sit in on the meeting today.”

“Y/n?” Nat jumped in immediately. “The one who’s hair you used to stick gum in when you were little?”

“I thought Y/n was the girl who filled your locker with extra small condoms and the filmed you when they all fell out.” Sam chuckled, giving you an impressed smile.

“No, wait.” Bruce cut in. “I thought she was the one who started the rumor that Peter didn’t know how to swim.”

“You’re all wrong.” Steve sighed. “Y/n is the one Peter blamed losing the class pet on. Remember? The little rat escaped and he told the class it was her fault.”

“It was a hamster.” Peter cringed. “And it was my fault. Sorry about that.”

“I love you, but I will never forgive you for that.” You smiled softly as you stroked his cheek with your thumb. The team looked at each knowingly at this display of affection.

“Love?” Tony asked as he entered the room. “Are we talking about how much you all love me?”

Tony stopped in his tracks when he saw you standing there. You had forgotten to take off Peter’s original Spider-man hoodie, and it caught Tony off guard. He never thought he’d see that hoodie again, the one that brought him to Peter in the first place. The one he studied and tried to replicate when he made Peter a new suit. The corners of his mouth turned down as he appreciated how much Peter had grown.

“Oh. I see Peter brought a friend.” Tony remarked. “Please, make yourself at home in our top secret facility that no one unauthorized personnel is supposed to enter.”

“Mr. Stark, this is my girlfriend Y/n.” Peter introduced you. You held out your hand for Tony to shake, and he did so without taking his eyes off of you.

“Y/n?” He asked. “The one-“

“Yeah. Probably.” You nodded, making him laugh.

“Nice to meet you, Y/n.” He said as he straightened himself out. “You’re welcome to sit in on the meeting. But if you make any noise, you will be taken out by a sniper.”

“He’s kidding.” Peter whispered to you, but he wasn’t entirely sure. Peter took a seat and you sat on his lap, making him fight back a smile. He was now at an Avengers meeting with his former enemy sitting on his lap, wearing his clothes.

“Thank you, sir.” You smiled at him. “It’s nice to meet you too. All of you. I appreciate everything you guys have done for the world. You’re all really brave.”

“Your boyfriend is pretty brave too.” Steve commented. “He surprises me everytime we work together.”

“I was surprised too.” You agreed. “I didn’t think the biggest loser I knew was protecting Queens.”

Everyone raised their eyebrows at your subtle jab at Peter and it suddenly made sense why the girl he’d been complaint about all these years had the same name as his girlfriend.

“You let her talk to you like that?” Sam teased.

“She can say whatever she wants.” Peter shrugged. “And she does. Do you know how hard it is to get her to stop talking?”

“Not nearly as hard as it is to get you to clean up after yourself, put the toilet seat down, or show up on time for dates.” You replied with a cheery smile. Peter smiled back and took the loss, not wanting to get into it in front of his team. He turned back to Tony and gave him his full attention as the meeting began. You stayed quiet on Peter’s lap as the team discussed their next mission and who would be covering what territory. You made a small noise when Tony gave Peter his assignment, making everyone look at you.

“Whats the matter?” Peter asked as he bounced you a little on his knee.

“I just didn’t realize you were such an important part of the team.” You said. Peter had a big role that required a lot more responsibility than you thought he was capable of. He didn’t seem worried in the slightest, which told you he was used to this much responsibility. Something about Peter’s ambition and ability to take on Avenger level tasks for very appealing to you.

So appealing, in fact, that Peter noticed.

“Hm.” Peter said and he sniffed the air. You folded your lips in, knowing exactly what he was doing. The rest of the team had no idea what was happening, but you knew Peter was trying to get a rise out of you.

“What’s wrong?” Nat took the bait. You pinched Peter’s leg under the table as he took another loud whiff.

“Nothing.” Peter smirked. “It just smells funny in here.”

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#peter parker x reader #peter parker x y/n #peter parker x you #peter parker enemies to lovers #peter parker angst #peter parker fluff #tom holland x reader #tom holland x you #marvel #spiderman

[pastrnaks-sainz]

Pasta’s Secret Wife

Pairing: David Pastrnak x reader 

Type: Fluff 

Warnings: None 

Word Count: 1.9k

Summary: You and David met in his rookie year when you traveled to Boston with the Capitals for a game. You never lost contact, and dated long distance until three years later David proposed. You were married in secret, no friends or family present. Nobody besides close family knew, not even your respective teams. 

Request: Can you do one where the reader is an athletic trainer for the caps but is secretly married to Pasta and the team finds out at a bruins v caps game? (from anon)

A/N: okay I actually love this so much, nonny thank you ily 

~~~~

Bergy had noticed the ring Pasta wore on his right ring finger; he just never said anything about it. He thought it might have had something to do with his father and never asked. He thought that for months until round one, game five. 

“Do you know where Pasta is?” Bergy asked, adjusting his mask as he stepped up beside Marchy. “I haven’t seen him for a couple hours.” 

“Last I saw him he was eating in the hotel café,” Marchy responded. “Why? What time is it?” 

“Five minutes until we need to get on the bus,” Bergy answered, holding out his wrist so Marchy could see his watch. 

“Oh,” Marchy said. “Oh that isn’t good.” 

“No,” Patrice hummed, scanning the lobby for his missing line mate. “No it’s not.” 

“Hey guys,” Pasta’s voice came from behind them, making them both turn around. “Sorry I’m late, I got caught up talking to someone.” 

“You’re here now, it’s fine,” Bergy said with a smile and a shrug before shooting Brad a warning glare. Brad held up his hands in mock surrender and motioned for Patrice to follow Pasta out of the hotel. 

The incident stayed in the back of Patrice’s mind up until he was putting his jersey on. It was unusual for Pasta to be late to leave. He made a mental note to talk to him about it after the game, but right now he needed to focus on winning  and getting into round two. 

Your mind was running wild. You had met with David at the hotel before the game like you did before every game the Bruins and Capitals played. Your meetings were typically brief, and you tried your best to blend in and not draw any attention to who you were with or, more importantly, who you were kissing. 

“Y/N,” TJ snapped his fingers in front of your face. You shook your head, looking up from the wrap you were putting on his ankle. “Something’s up with you, are you okay?” 

“Yeah, I’m fine,” you answered, securing the ace bandage and cleaning up your station. “Why do you ask?” 

“Because when I said that aliens were invading at the end of the month you nodded and went ‘mhm’,” TJ folded his arms over his chest. He looked at you with an expecting gaze. 

“Sorry,” you sighed, rubbing your face. “Just been really distracted lately.”

“Wanna talk?” he asked sincerely. 

“Not right now,” you shook your head, turning to face him. “You should go get ready, you’ve got a big game.” 

“Yeah,” TJ said, clearly not buying your answer as he left the training room. 

You sighed deeply and grabbed the things you kept with you on the bench. You hoped the fast paced action of the game would be enough to keep you distracted from the conversation you’d had with your husband just two hours earlier, but you knew seeing him on the ice was just going to make you want to get out of Washington faster. 

A couple weeks before the playoffs started you had made a deal with David. When the Capitals’ season was over you were going to join the Boston training staff. David had talked to the necessary people to make it happen and the last time you were in Boston you agreed to the terms. Now, with the Capitals facing elimination, it was seeming way too real way too quick. 

It wasn’t that you didn’t want to join him in Boston and finally be able to tell people about your marriage. You had just lived in Washington all your life and, while you were on the road a lot for your job, the thought of leaving for another city was daunting. David has assured you that the move to Boston wouldn’t be difficult and that he’d hold your hand the entire time. His words had soothed your worries some, but your mind was still going a million miles per hour. 

You absentmindedly chewed on your gum as you stood on the bench. Despite the distraction, you were still looking for anything that might need your immediate attention. 

In the first period when David scored you had to use all your self restraint to not cheer. You were thankful for the mask that hid your near giddy smile. 

When the game was finally over you were relieved. Though you couldn't show it, you were happy the Capitals had lost. Now all that was left for you to do was turn in your Capitals gear and head over to the Boston side of the arena. Your boss knew you were leaving when the season ended weeks before the playoffs started. He was the only one who knew the true reason for your departure. 

“Pasta!” Bergy called, jogging to catch up with his teammate who was already halfway down the hallway. “Do you have a minute to talk?” 

“Yeah,” David nodded. 

“What’s going on with you, man?” Patrice asked, folding his arms over his chest and looking at David with a concerned look. “You’ve been distracted all night, that’s not like you.” 

David glanced over his shoulder to make sure there was no one around to hear what he had to say. He was about to tell Patrice everything when he saw you walking up to them behind Patrice. David instantly relaxed in your presence. 

“Give me two seconds,” Pasta said, holding up a finger and darting over to take your hand. “I’m so happy you came.” 

“You didn’t think I would?” you asked as David cupped your cheek in his hand. His blue eyes were casted down to your feet. “Baby, I was never not going to come to Boston with you. I just needed to turn in my stuff. Did you really think I wasn’t coming?” 

“For a second I thought you might have decided to stay here,” he responded in a low voice, his accent thicker than normal. He shook his head as if he were clearing the doubts from his mind before taking your other hand. “Is it okay if we tell Patrice?” 

You looked over his shoulder to where Patrice Bergeron was intently watching the interaction. 

“Yes,” you nodded, your gaze flicking back to David. He smiled beneath his mask and led you over. 

“Patrice, this is Y/N,” he introduced you. You shook Patrice’s hand as you clinged to David’s side. “My wife.” 

“Wife?” Patrice asked, freezing as he dropped your hand. He glanced down to the ring on David’s finger and it all fell into place. Why he always disappeared for a couple hours whenever they were playing the Capitals. Why he started to leave team functions earlier. Why he was almost always alone when he was on the phone with someone. 

“We got married in August,” David said, looking down at you with nothing but love in his eyes. 

“We didn’t tell anybody because we didn’t know what the reaction would be,” you said. 

“First, as your captain, I want you to know you can tell me anything and I won’t say a word if you don’t want me to,” Patrice said, looking at David. “Second, it’s nice to finally meet you even though I had no idea you existed.” 

“Nice to meet you too,” you laughed, already feeling welcome. 

“So can I ask why you’re just telling us now?” Patrice asked, folding his arms once more.  

“Well in March I finally realized that Washington wasn’t the place I wanted to be and that I wanted to be in Boston with David,” you said, looking up at your husband. “We had a conversation and we agreed that once the Capitals season was over I would join the Bruins training staff since there was an opening.” 

“We kept it secret until the opening came up,” Pasta said, giving your hip a comforting squeeze. “I talked with the people here I needed to to make sure she got the job and she talked with her boss.” 

“That sounds great,” Bergy shrugged his shoulders. “So why were you all distant before the game?” 

“This series put a strain on the plan,” Pasta sighed. You rubbed his back, sensing his uneasiness. 

“I didn’t want to look bad, leaving Washington for Boston when this series ended,” you said, interjecting so David didn’t need to speak. “I know nobody knows the training staff but if announcers got a hold of it we didn’t want me to look like I was jumping ship to Capitals fans.” 

“Makes sense,” Patrice nodded. 

“I think I’ve kept you a secret for too long,” David said, looking down at you. “Is everybody still in the locker room?” 

“Yeah, they should all be there,” Patrice nodded, pushing himself off the wall and starting down the hallway. “I should give you a word of warning, Y/N, they can be a bit much sometimes.” 

“I’m used to it,” you reassured him as Bruce Cassidy stepped out of the locker room. 

“Good, I was just going to come look for you two,” he said before his gaze landed on you. “Y/N, I presume?” 

“That’s me,” you nodded, shaking his hand. 

“Welcome to Boston,” he said warmly. “Wanna get the paperwork out of the way then meet the team?” 

“Sure,” you nodded, detaching yourself from David and following Bruce down the hallway. 

“You picked a good one,” Patrice said, clapping David on the shoulder. 

“I know I did,” David smiled to himself as he watched you step into an office, followed by Don Sweeney and Cam Neely. “I’m proud of her.” 

“You should be,” Patrice nodded. 

“I’m looking forward to working with you,” Bruce shook your hand as you parted ways with Neely and Sweeney and walked back towards where David and Patrice were waiting outside the locker room. 

“So am I,” you agreed. 

“Come on, let’s introduce you,” Patrice said, patting your shoulder and walking into the locker room. The team, once antsy with waiting, feel silent with the sudden presence of their coach, captain, teammate, and new girl. 

“Thanks for waiting, boys,” Bruce started. “You all had a good game and I’m sorry for keeping you but I’d like to now hand it over to Bergy and Pasta, they have something to tell you.” 

“As you guys know Nate had to leave the training staff a few months ago and we’ve been a little shorthanded,” Patrice started. You could feel the glances the team sent your way. “So I’d like to introduce Y/N as the newest member of the training staff.” 

You nodded in thanks to the applause the team gave you. 

“But I think Pasta might want to introduce her as someone else,” Patrice stepped aside. 

“I would like to introduce Y/N as my wife,” Pasta ripped the bandage off. You braced yourself for whatever reaction the team might have. They were silent for a moment before Tuukka stood up, walked over, and all but yanked you from under David’s arm into a hug. The locker room erupted into what could only be described as chaos as the players jockeyed for a hug. 

“Still think it was a good idea?” Patrice asked jokingly as he watched the scene unfold before him. 

“Yup,” David nodded before going over and ripping you away from Jake. 

“What the hell man? I wanted a hug!” 

“I’ve decided that I’m the only one who gets to hug Y/N.” 

#david pastrnak x reader #x reader #nhl x reader #hockey x reader #fluff #david pastrnak fluff #nhl fluff #hockey fluff #imagine #david pastrnak imagine #nhl imagine #hockey imagine #one shot #david pastrnak one shot #nhl one shot #hockey oneshot #fanfiction #david pastrnak fanfiction #nhl fanfiction #Hockey Fanfiction #mainlypastrnaksbae

[jaxxie101]

Baby Fever

Authors Note: this is my first fanfic so please be nice and its like 2 am. 

Warnings: allusions to sex, pregnancy, fluff 

Pairings: Colin Jost x reader and Nick Kroll x John Mulaney 

You and Michael did not hold back your laugh as Cecily “Judge Jeanine Pirro” poured her drink all over Colin. I DID IT MY WAYYY! Cecily belted out as she submerged herself into the box of wine. Ladies and gentlemen Judge Jeanine Pirro! Colin announced laughing despite being drenched. This has been weekend update everyone I’m Y/F/N Jost, I’m Michael Che, and I’m Colin Jost goodnight! The three of you signed off. Weekend update was normally the only sketch you were in so you were basically done for the night, and you couldn’t wait to get out of this suit top. You dashed to your office and quickly changed into red blouse. Its the season finale and you want to look nice for the afterparty. Y/N!! You were sitting in your dressing room when you heard Colin call your name. Yeah babe? You turned around and saw him in his weekend update jeans and soaked suit top. Colin grinned wickedly and started walking to you. You quickly caught onto what he was doing. Colin no! you tried to run. He wrapped his arms around you and picked you up. Colin! you yelped. You’re soaked! You tried to yell at him in between your giggles. He spun around and then sat you down. Colin! You got me all wet. Really!? He exclaimed. Well what should I do about that? He whispered next to your ear, voice low. He spun you around so he was pressed against your back. You began to feel heat between your legs. He unbuttoned your jeans and slid his hand down. HAPPY SEASON FIN-. You and Colin Jumped apart. You frantically buttoned your jeans. Well, Well, Well, What do we have here. Nick smirked. John looked at Colin’s current drenched state and laughed. Happy season finale, next time we’ll knock. John handed you a small bouquet of Red Lilly’s. You thanked John and hugged him. Well I should better go to my office and change and I will bring you a different shirt to change into babe. Colin told you as he stepped out of the office. Hey it really was a great show F/N. Nick complimented. Your Phone dinged from beside John on your desk. Hey John will you get that? You asked. Trying to find a spot to put the flowers. He nodded his head yes. Hey Nick sweetie how about you go try and find Y/N something to put those flowers in. John asked him. Yeah sure. Nick agreed and walked out of the office. F/N! John whisper yelled. Uh John! You whisper yelled back. Are you!? Why didn’t you tell me!? Does Colin know!? John rambled on with questions. John honey slow down what are you talking about? You asked. John handed you your phone. On your lock screen was an alert from your period tracking calendar. “You are two weeks late”. Oh no. You muttered. Oh no? its an oh no situation. John asked as he went into best friend support mode. I-i’m not sure what it is yet. You stuttered. Colin and I are always so busy we haven’t ever talked about kids. You told him. Well do you want a kid? he asked. Kids and teenagers are one thing but a baby. You thought out loud. Well before anything we need to get you a pregnancy test. He said right before the door to your office opened and Colin walked in. He had changed into a light blue sweater and put on his glasses (the ones in GIF). Here you can change into this. Colin grinned as he handed you a t-shirt that said “I heart Staten Island”. You couldn’t help but smile as you changed from your damp purple stained blouse into Colin’s shirt. I found a vase! Nick announced proudly as he walked into the room. Why is it every time I walk in F/N is removing a piece of clothing. Nick snarked. John gasped, donning his “surprised pikachu face”. Nick that’s Lorne’s mug! Well he should have hired me. Nick smirked. Hey its almost midnight we should head out to the floor. Colin said walking to the door. Actually I don’t feel well Honey why don’t you, John, and Nick go. I think I am going to head home. You mumbled. Are you sick? Do you need me to drive you home? Do you need me to get you anything? Colin started questioning, a concerned look on his face. It really was so sweet. I just have a bit of an upset stomach, but you stay and go to the afterparty. It’s the season finale you can spend the rest of the summer with me. You told him. I don’t feel comfortable leaving you alone if you don’t feel well. Colin worried. How about I take F/N home. John offered. I don’t mind missing the afterparty everyone will be drinking a lot and ya know. John said. Are you sure you don’t want me to come straight home. Colin asked. I’m positive, if you missed out on the last afterparty of the season because I have a stomach ace I would feel worse. Besides I will have John to keep me company. You assured him then, gave him a kiss and left with John. You both got into John and Nicks blue sedan. Alright first stop the drugstore. You told John. Yep, John agreed. How are we going to go unrecognized? You wondered out loud. Uh I should have a cap and some sunglasses. Maybe tuck your hair in the hat and put the shads on. He suggested. Sounds good. You agreed, as you put on your disguise. How do I look? You asked. Hmmm. It’s missing something. He said. reaching into his pocket. It’s missing wha-. You started before John attacked your face with a sharpie. AH! John stop. You screamed. There you go a nice mustache. He laughed, leaning back admiring his work. I hate you. You rolled your eyes and got out. You love me and you know it! He shouted, smiling. You were able to get in and out of the drug store with no more than a few odd looks. No doubt because of the black scribbles above your lip and on your nose.Okay I got them. You said as you practically dove into the car. John pulled out and started to drive to yours and Colin’s house. Your mind started to wander. For so long you had pushed the thought of babies out of your mind. Thinking you were too busy and babies were too much of a hassle. The last thing you needed to do was start thinking about babies and get baby fever. But you can’t help but think about Colin holding a baby. You and Collin giving the baby bubble baths, swaddeling it in a blanket, feeding him, burping him, telling the baby story’s, the baby cooing, Colin would be such a terrific dad. Oh no the baby fever has kicked in. John. You murmured. Yes? He gave you his attention. I want a baby. You whispered. Well In a few minutes you’ll find out if your wish is coming true. He said as he pulled into the driveway. You both jumped out of the car and ran inside. You decided to take 4 test to be sure. You sat the sticks on the sink and ran out of the bathroom. Are you pregnant!? John practically yelled. I don’t know it will take them a few minutes to determine if its positive or negative. You walked back into the bathroom and looked down at all 4 positive tests. YESSS! You cheered! You ran out of the bathroom. I’m pregnant! You cheered. Yay! I’m gonna be an uncle! The both of you started to celebrate. How and when are you going to tell Colin? John asked. Tomorrow and I know exactly how I am going to tell him.

                                      The Next Day

Babe I have a surprise for you. You told Colin, handing him a gift bag. Really? What for? He asked. Not that i’m complaining. He joked as he reached inside and pulled out a onesie that said “ I love Staten Island”. I-i don’t understand? He stuttered looking at you. look inside it. You told him, trying to contain your excitement. He reached in and pulled out one of the positive pregnancy tests. His mouth gaped open and he gasped. You’re? he started. You nodded your head. He grinned bigger than you had ever seen him. We’re gonna have a baby!? he asked. You nodded your head. WE”RE HAVING A BABY! Colin cheered. He ran over to you, picked you up, and spun you around. He carried you bridal style to the coach and peppered your face in kisses. Well that was a positive reaction. You smiled. Well that was a positive test. He smirked. 

#colin jost #john mulaney #nick kroll #john mulaney x nick kroll #colin jost x reader #saturday night live #snl #michael che #cecily strong #weekend update #platonic john mulaney x reader

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How We Decided

The day after tomorrow- that is, February 18, 2021- the Perseverance rover will attempt to land on the surface of Mars.  It will enter the planetary atmosphere at an acute angle, giving it as much time as possible to experience drag and slow down from orbital velocities.  Because Mars’ air is so thin, and the rover is so heavy, this will fail- in the best case, Perseverance would still be going almost a thousand miles an hour when it impacts the surface.  To help save itself, the craft will deploy a parachute of advanced design, seventy feet across and able to withstand supersonic velocities.  This, too, will fail.  Even with a parachute, there is simply not enough air between Perseverance and the Martian surface to slow it down all the way.  So this is where the rockets kick in.  Once air resistance slows the rover to a bit less than two hundred miles per hour, the heavy heat shield will be jettisoned, and a system of secondary rockets will fire against the direction of motion until it slows to near-hovering.  In a final flourish, the rover will descend from the rocket-boosted frame on coiled springs, until it touches down in the western part of Jezero crater in the northern hemisphere of Mars.

As it happens, Perseverance’s destination was one of the very last things we decided about it- not until the craft itself was fairly thoroughly engineered and designed.  Formally, the decision was made by the mission directorate.  In practice, they follow the consensus of the scientific community, which in turn hashes things out at a series of open-invitation workshops.  Things began with a call for white papers- an open suggestion box, basically.  In 2015, the first workshop narrowed things down from thirty serious proposals to eight candidates.  In 2017, the second workshop further winnowed the list down to three.  And in October of 2018, after three days of presentation, debate, and discussion, the final workshop selected Jezero Crater from these final three candidates using a simple vote of all attendees, and passed on the recommendation to the mission leads.

I haven’t been in the business for very long, so the final workshop was the only one of these where I actually participated.  It wasn’t a close vote as such, and I didn’t break any ties, and technically we were just making a strongly worded suggestion.  Nonetheless, my vote is one of the reasons why the Rover will be going to Jezero Crater instead of Syrtis Major or Gusev, and I think I’m entitled to feel ownership of this mission choice, just a little bit.

(This is, of course, terrifying.)

Having gone through the experience, there were a few surprises worth noting.  The first was how small some of the numbers are here.  The conference was not very large: only thirty proposals, debated by just a few hundred attendees.  I’ve seen book review contests with more entries, and that are read by a wider audience.  Which is to say, this is a situation that was, and is, extremely responsive to individual effort.  In that small a room, populated by people that are philosophically committed to changing their minds when they see good evidence or a good argument, one person can stand up and change the future in a very real way.

The second surprise was the attendance requirements.  Or rather, the lack thereof.  The project is public, paid for by American taxpayers, to whom I am profoundly grateful.  And one way the process reflected that public-spiritedness is that this is not a walled garden.  A small attendance fee (iirc, $40?), and you’re in.  You get a vote, if you want to use it.  A few non-scientists even took us up on this; there’s one retiree (a former schoolteacher, I think) that’s attended every major conference I’ve been to in the last few years, and sets up a small table in the back with his home mineral collection just for fun.  In practice this open-door policy is limited by the obscurity of the event itself; if you don’t move in research circles, you have to be something of a space exploration superfan to hear about it.  Still, as symbols go, you could do worse.

And now that we’re coming up on the day itself, the same kind of public-facing mindset is making me think about why I was persuaded to vote for Jezero Crater, what it means to explore there, and how I’d justify that choice to those of you that made the ongoing discovery of Mars possible in the first place.

If you want to know what Perseverance is like, and what you can reasonably do with it, start with Curiosity- the two are built, more or less, on the same chassis.  That means you have a mobile science lab about the size of a Volkswagon Beetle.  Add some mechanical improvements (no more wheel punctures!) and a few bells and whistles (microphone!  helicopter for some reason!).  Trade out some of the scientific instruments- raman spectroscopy instead of a mass spectrometer, for example.  And it’s got these:

That, dear reader, is a sample return canister.  Not to be returned immediately, alas, but to be returned nonetheless.  One of Persevereance’s primary directives is to find interesting rocks, collect them, and leave them in place for a sample return mission in the early 30s.  There’s a ton of work we can do in situ, but there’s even more we can do in a clean lab back home; things like isotopic analysis really need a much more controlled environment than you’ll get in the field.  And so a major, major consideration is to optimize Perseverance’s landing site for cool rocks that we’d like to take back home.

The other thing that Perseverance is really good at is astrobiology.  There’s no such thing as a life sign detector as such, but this rover represents an attempt to approach that ideal: instruments like SHERLOC and SuperCam are adept at finding organic compounds and fine-scale mineralogy and chemistry that might be influenced by microbial metabolism.  This is a natural extension of what we’ve been learning so far: Spirit and Opportunity showed us that Mars formed under the influence of liquid water.  Curiosity showed us that this was not just wet, but actively habitable: lakes and rivers at a neutral pH under a rich and temperate atmosphere.  The next question along this line is the hardest, and the scariest: we know it was habitable, but was it inhabited?

If you’re like me, that question makes you feel weird.  Collecting rocks is one thing, but a fossil?  The mind rebels.  We’ve spent the last two generations of space exploration tempering our expectations, reminding ourselves that the other worlds in our solar system are largely barren and dead, learning again and again how precious life is in the cosmos.  It’s hard to get in the mindset of people back in the 40s and 50s who could, somewhat reasonably, imagine that Mars might not just host life but multicellular life, vegetation and robust macroscopic ecosystems.  We look back at the science fiction of the era, swarthy soldiers hopping from planet to planet in silver rockets, and laugh at the naivete.  A smile at the exuberance of youth, if we’re feeling generous.  When we were first beginning, we may have imagined ancient canals on Mars and crystal cities on Venus, but that was when space was a blank canvas for us to paint our fantasies.  We’ve learned so much since then, and if it was less fun, at least it was true.  We did the hard thing and accepted reality over fantasy.  We accept that extraterrestrial environments are hostile to life- cratered, silent, and still.  We’re grownups now.

Unless…

Unless.

Imagine that we were born just a bit earlier.  Say, three and a half billion years or so.  We raise our telescopes to the sky, and we see a sister-planet.  Not red, but white and blue, with an atmosphere full of clouds and multiple large bodies of water scattered across its surface, prominent ice caps and snow-capped highlands, rivers tracing their way down to the lowlands in the north.  (Maybe the water is all under the ice, not open to the air at the surface; maybe the liquid pools are small and limited to craters, not feeding a large ocean.)  Sober scientists might have suggested we shouldn’t get our hopes up too much- after all, the gravity is much lower, there’s no tectonic recycling, and there’s no protective magnetosphere.  But is sterility really the default assumption we should be making here?  Is ‘we are alone in the cosmos’ really the most sane conclusion to draw from this situation?  Is it not worth, perhaps, sending a rover to go see?

We’ve adapted our sensibilities to a dead solar system because in the moment we’re looking, it kind of is.  We’re hopeful for the icy moons- and the evidence keeps mounting there as well- but the terrestrial planets are a grim reminder of the fragility and contingency of our own world.  The thing is, the more we learn, the more we discover that we’re a bit late to a very, very interesting party.  Venus is a hellscape, but it probably didn’t start that way.  Mars is a desert, but once it was an oasis.  What makes Earth special among the terrestrial worlds isn’t that it developed a temperate climate, but that it kept a temperate climate for more than four billion years.  Stability, not habitability, is the party trick that makes us unique in the solar system.  And if we’re really committed to being grownups, to accepting what’s real instead of what’s easy, we have to learn that lesson too.

And life does not need four billion years to begin.  Not even close.

That brings us to Jezero Crater.  The most interesting feature here is a large river delta- based on some clever geology, we’re pretty sure that a large river emptied into the crater during Mars’ wet period.  When the rapidly-flowing water hit the still water of Lake Jezero, the loose sediments being carried along the current all fell out of suspension at this place, forming a large pile of detritus at the mouth of the river that accumulated over the lifetime of the system.  Even more interesting, check out this geologic map:

See those tiny teal deposits to the right side of the image?  Those are also river delta deposits.  Which means the thing labeled ‘delta’ on this map isn’t the original extent- it used to be much, much larger, at least twice as wide.  Which also means that the outer edge of the ‘delta’ that we see here in this image is actually an erosional surface, and we get a natural cross-section of the thing with the oldest deposits at the bottom and the youngest at the top, just before Mars lost its hydrosphere.  By climbing the outer edge, we can move through time across a large fraction of the habitable period.

Here’s another image I’d like you to see:

The crater I’ve been showing you is the small circle in the lower right- color is elevation, covering a span of about 5 km.  The black line is the watershed of that river, the region of Mars that channeled water to the delta.  In other words, the river delta collects sediments- and potentially, biosignatures- from a region hundreds of kilometers in diameter, and gathers them all in one place, neatly sorted by time.

For this reason, ancient deltas on Earth are a favorite of paleontologists.  In addition to being comfortably wet and active itself- plenty of access to biologically important nutrients, fresh supplies of liquid water, and a nice dynamic environment- deltas do the legwork for us.  Rather than exploring a huge fraction of the planet with a tiny rover, hoping that we stumble upon an ancient life sign, we can position ourselves at the mouth of the proverbial fire hose and let life come to us.

This does come with some tradeoffs.  Most importantly, whatever we find, we won’t know the original geologic setting.  If we find an unambiguous fossil of some kind- a microbial mat, perhaps- then we’ll know less than if we’d found it in its original home.  And if we don’t find life, then the samples we take will be similarly uncertain.  They’ll be defined in time, at least relative to one another, but not in space.  In the case of life signs, this is an important caveat, but the bare fact of proving that extraterrestrial life exists is sufficiently monumental that it’s still a secondary concern.  But if we’re just talking about geology, that’s a hard thing to lose; that terrifying multi-stage descent isn’t the only risk we’re taking.  We’re leaning into the astrobiology mission hard with this one.

And the search for life is, in itself, fraught.  That’s putting it mildly.  There’s every chance that any evidence that’s even slightly marginal is going to touch off decades of debate, rather than being some kind of slam-dunk.  As it should!  Life is such a fuzzy concept, and such an important concept, that it should absolutely be held to the highest degree of scrutiny we can muster.  This is why it matters that Perseverance includes sample return- in the highly likely case that the findings are disputed, we’ll hopefully have the chance to subject those samples to the highest degrees of scrutiny.  So it feels like the right time to go hunting.

On top of that, there’s the ‘evidence of absence’ problem.  Strong biosignatures update our priors very hard in the direction of life on Mars.  But what is the correct amount of evidence necessary to convince us that Mars never was alive?  I’m not sure, but failure to find microbial mats in Jezero probably isn’t enough.  So the search for life can succeed, but if it ‘fails’ that doesn’t necessarily teach us much; the best experiments teach you something no matter what, and ideally a commitment this large would meet that standard.  This is, more or less, baked into the search for extraterrestrial life, and there aren’t too many ways out from under that problem.

That said, Jezero in particular has some compensation.  As I mentioned, we’re collecting a lot of good data regardless; and even without the gologic context, there’s a ton of opportunity to sample different minerals and how they formed, and get a nice broad sample of the Martian surface over time.  And, even better, here’s the location of another interesting potential field site, in northeast Syrtis:

Note the proximity to Jezero crater!  And Syrtis is also a fantastic candidate for a sample return mission.  It has exposed mesas with layered outcrops going all the way back to the earliest days of Mars, and extending (potentially) through many of the most interesting periods.  Now, these are not ideal for the search for life, although they’d give us a ton of technical data about surface chemistry and the behavior of the atmosphere during the early, wet periods; it would go a long way towards resolving arguments about the temperature of the early Martian climate, for example, or tracing the early destabilization and loss of the magnetosphere while teaching us loads about the planet’s core.

Those mesas are still pretty far away.  Too far, probably, for a sensible rover lifespan to make it all the way there.  But there’s a plan- called the ‘Midway’ route, as a nod to the compromise nature of it.  See, halfway between Jezero and these mesas, there are a lot of banded rocks that look suspiciously like they’re sourced from the table mesas in Syrtis.  And those, we can get to, maybe.  If we call a specific deadline on looking for life in Jezero, then we can pivot to Midway and hopefully take a really deep look.  So, in the end, we’re going hard for astrobiology research, but we’re not going all-in.

The importance of the search for life is… well, there are a lot of people out there, and we enter the world in a lot of different ways.  Most of us agree that the existence of extraterrestrial life would be a Big Deal, and we tend to have a lot of different reasons for that.  It’s not a bad subject for a future post or three, in fact.  But there’s one thing lurking in the back of my head that’s a non-obvious reason to go looking.  This wasn’t discussed at the workshop particularly, but it fed into my vote somewhat.  Check the logic of this for me, see if it makes sense:

Worrying about existential risks, we sometimes talk about the ‘great filter’.  That is, the mysterious phenomenon which explains the lack of extraterrestrial civilizations reaching out to us.  Now, maybe we’re in a zoo or a preserve or something, and intelligences are out there watching after all; maybe the Earth really is the center of the cosmos, because of the simulation hypothesis or the various religious explanations.  There’s no real way to know for sure at this point.  But consider the space of very real possibilities where the universe actually is material, and actually is mostly barren.  Why?

Stepping through the sequence, it might be that abiogenesis is really hard- going from a temperate world to a living one is almost (but not quite) impossible.  Maybe there’s some hurdle to clear between genesis and encephalization.  Maybe, given encephalization, civilization and tool-use are almost impossible.  Or maybe there are many civilizations like ours, and the great filter is ahead of us- it is almost impossible for technological civilizations not to self-destruct or turn in to lotus-eaters before they reach interstellar civilization.  There are a lot of possibilities for the filter, and for present purposes we’ll divide them into two categories: those which we would have already passed, and those which are in our future.

And here’s the thing: for each possibility we can exclude from the great filter, all the other possibilities increase commensurately, becoming more likely in our estimation.  (Assuming the exclusion is ‘clean’ and doesn’t favor some other possibility, that is.)  Given that the silence continues, if we could somehow prove that technological self-destruction isn’t a big risk, that would commensurately increase our guesses about how hard abiogenesis is.

Life on Mars, especially if we could be very sure that it evolved independently of Earth life, would be a strong argument against the difficulty of abiogenesis.  One biosphere in the solar system, and nowhere else, might be down to luck.  The one biosphere has to be somewhere, right?  Two in the solar system, and nowhere else, is a good bit less reasonable.  If we find a second genesis on Mars, then we’ve learned that life is not rare.  That the hundreds of billions of stars in the Milky Way are likely host to many billions of different living (or at least once-living) worlds.

And as wonderful as that news is, as much as it makes me so happy that I literally had to take a second to cry on my bed for a bit, it also makes the great silence much, much scarier.  Today, we can reassure ourselves by saying that life may be rare in the universe.  But what if it isn’t?  If the cosmos is full of life, but not full of thought, then…

If this is the case, we need to know.  We need to know as soon as possible, and we need to know it while we’re engaged in the great project of technological development and moral progress.  It’s easy to imagine that this particular mission is one that can be framed in purely positive terms- the joy of discovery, the vastness of truth, the love of how things might be.  But I do also have this sense of civilizational fragility, you know?  And understanding the risks that we face and the chances we’re taking- that’s not idle curiosity.  That’s genuinely urgent.