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#this was funnier in my head i swear
manikas-whims · 1 year
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Lucy: You should apologize to Kipps.
Lockwood: Fine.
Kipps: *waiting*
Lockwood: Unfuck you or whatever..
Kipps: ...
Kipps: Unfuck you too, Tony.
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colorsinautumn · 1 year
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you're at eras tour and lights go out and everyone starts losing their minds. the stage goes dark for moment only for the screen on the back of the stage comes on, revealing a universal studios logo, and the fear sets in. this isn't a concert, it's a screening of cats (2019). terror ensues in the venue, people rush for the doors in an attempt to escape, but it is futile, as the exits are blocked, and you are trapped with cats (2019) for the next 110 minutes.
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ggomos-maribat · 2 years
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[1/?]
check out my original post here
Inari crouches within the shadows of the rooftop, making sure to keep her invisibility illusion intact. A few feet from her, Nightwing and Red Hood are looking over the night-cloaked city.
"Race you on the rooftops, Red?" Nightwing proposes with a grin.
Inari's palm meets her forehead. She mutters under her breath, "Damn it, Dick, you're going to get hurt again."
Nightwing visibly stiffens and looks around in alarm. "Jay, did you hear that?"
"Hear what?"
The vigilante makes another scan of his surroundings. His lip slightly trembles as his eyebrows raise. "I think my conscience is speaking to me."
Or your common sense. Inari sighs. Or maybe your sister.
"You're acting weird," says Red Hood. "Still up for that race?"
"Uhm, maybe not tonight."
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noodletime · 6 months
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i made a slightly funny comic (trigger warning mention of self harm-)
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DONT MIND THE MISPELLING ON THE 2ND PANEL-
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kunaigirl · 1 year
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NFTs??? No thanks, I already have NLTs! (New Living Translation Of The Holy Bible by the Tindale Scripture Translation Team c. 2015)
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qt-qtoey · 1 year
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moonsekai · 1 year
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keisuke: good news everyone, we just sold out on all the tickets to your next performance tsukasa: REALLY?! YOU'RE HONKING MY HORN! YOU'RE BRAIDING MY HAIR! YOU'RE POPPING MY BUBBLES! rui: emu: keisuke: nene: why can't you ever have a normal response
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lebuckett · 7 months
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me and my ex have a virtual pet and we take turns taking care of it. thx widgetable for giving the divorce experience
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amalgamezz · 2 months
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tzarrz · 8 months
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This came to me in a dream - PART 2
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thetruemek · 2 months
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Nova confirmed Florida-man send post
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Nova and Fool belong to @venomous-qwille 's beautiful fic Ghost in the Machine 🩵🩷 please click for better quality q.q
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scootsaboot · 6 months
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i like that larian lets me kiss my bf whenever i want but maybe they shouldnt
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hoodeenie · 4 months
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got too carried away….AGAIN
i was supposed to watch the rest of season 6 but i got distracted lmao😭
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imperial-agent · 7 months
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time and place, wyll
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What do you do when confronted with with your Secret identity? Deny! 
I am in a good mood so I decided to share this crack idea I had a few nights ago. @noir-renard helped with some parts of the ideas so check them out! If it’s in bold the the idea was from them. Sorry in advance for this mess of a post.
Somehow some way The Justice League runs into a very sleep deprived Phantom. When asked for his name Danny accidental replies with his civilian name. Out of pure embarrassment he just leaves, goes home and sleeps.
So the next morning when the JLA is knocking on his front door, interrupting his coffee, Danny does the most logical thing and denies everything.
——
Danny: “Yeah no this happens a lot actually. His name is Danny Phantom, which sounds a lot like Danny Fenton. With us being named Danny and living in Amity we get switched around all the damn time.”
Because like what can they do, if when presented with evidence Danny just like “that isn’t me.” I like to imagine Barry in particular is calling his BS
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Barry: “But he said Fenton!”
Danny: “Well you heard wrong Mister Flash ” *sips coffee*
Barry: “You look just like him!”
Danny: *Shrug shoulders* “Merely a coincidence.”
Barry: “We have video evidence of you transforming behind a burger joint.”
Danny: “Whoa there buddy you are staring to sound a lot like Wes.
——
Danny: "You think I am ghost? Well could a ghost do this?" *Smacks hand against the wall*
Barry, now unsure of himself: "Uh, I don't know?"
-----
Danny: “Look Mr. The Flash, if it's really that important to you I guess you can pretend I'm Phantom, but as you can see I'm an alive boy. Do you want me to be a not-alive boy that badly? I don't know how to take that.”
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Imagine the Fenton parents hearing the justice league accusing Danny of being Phantom.
Maddie: “How dare you you compare our Danny to that ghost?!”
Danny sipping coffee in the background: 👀☕️ “You tell ‘em mom!”
———-
Ignore this god awful post just a little idea I had.
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frxxxncx · 6 months
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wet shirt - y. jeonghan
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»boyfriend!¡yoon jeonghan x fem!¡reader.
»Summary: you were just playing with the cold water, but jeonghan was getting hotter and hotter.
»Tags: smut (MDNI), pet names, establish relationship, comedy?(I tried), exhibitionistm, dirty talk, suggestive (I didn’t write a full sex scene, sorry😭), sex in public, fingering, unprotected sex, creampie, jeonghan and reader are two broke collage students, there’s no a/c in the middle of the summer, jeonghan is down bad for readers waist, mingyu’s cousin is car washing with her cheerleaders friends, dom!jeonghan, sub!reader.
»Words: 2,5k
note: I’m struggling to survive during the heatwaves in my country.
note 2: Any typo or incoherence that you might find was completely intentional, it’s for the sake of learning about my mistakes.
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An extremely hot day of September, Jeonghan and you were about to die because of the heat, with the a/c broken and without any money to get it fixed, the only thing that was left for both of you to do was endure it.
You were laying on the cold living room floor, feeling briefly fresh, well, only your backs felt cool, but that was better than nothing at all. You wanted to cry so bad, maybe if your boyfriend and you have gotten an smaller apartment or if you had gotten another part-time job all your problems would be solved, but that was the closest apartment to the campus and both of you were in a moment in your carriers were only one job was starting to crash with you studies.
Jeonghan let out a loud sigh and approached you sliding slowly through the floor, a long arm wrapped you tightly, body’s melting together, he hugged your pretty waist, and your face hid in his chest while he smelt the scent of your shampoo.
“Jeonghan, get away from me, we are in the middle of a heatwave with no a/c and the last thing I want is sweat” you said trying to loosen his grip, you only managed to get even more impossibly close to him.
“Your waist is very pretty, did you know?” He stated, letting you go, but now he was outlining your figure, specifically the big curvature of your waist while you were lying on your side.
“It’s not that pretty” a shiver ran through your body at the soft feeling of his hot hands over your covered skin.
“It is, and I like it a lot” he left a cute little peck on your lips, before getting up to go to the kitchen.
You giggled like a high schooler whose boyfriend just kissed her for the first time, and kicked the air once you were laying over your back again. You found the ceiling very interesting for a moment, thoughts ramming in your head, and then one of your top 10 most humbling moments of all time popped up. Well the floor was an incredible place to think about shit from the past.
Trying to forget by closing your eyes tightly you didn’t notice when your boyfriend came running from the kitchen with his phone in his hand, jumping like a child whom just was rewarded with candies.
“¡Baby!” He called you many times jumping beside you, but when you didn’t answer at the fifth call he got genuinely annoyed for a moment.
“Fucking bitch, get up, we are going to earn some quick money” he declared upset, putting one of his feet’s on you stomach.
“Ouch, take your feet away from me and my tummy” you said while grabbing his ankle trying to move him away.
You sat up stretching your back that cracked very loud making you win a weird look from Jeonghan, that was a nice crack though.
“Babe, my tummy” your voice came in a childish tone making you cringe.
“Tummy my ass, get up, we are going to work” he said at the same time he offered you his hand.
“Work?, wher-, no, how? Don’t tell me, did you sell one of my kidneys?” The fake fear in your voice made Jeonghan crack a smile while helping you get up.
“But you can live with only one” he played along, and you gave him a weak punch in his arm “Come on, I would never sell your organs in the black market, they are for me in case I get sick” he said boasting
“You little fucker” you whined in a very high pitched tone while he laugh loudly “Now, for real, where are we going to work in a Sunday afternoon?” You asked, getting close to your boyfriend so you could steal a soft kiss from him.
“We are going to wash some cars with Mingyu’s cousin and her cheerleaders friends” you looked at him in disbelief, where you were going to wash the cars?, Mingyu lived in a New York size apartment with no parking lot “you know the gas station where he works?” You nod and he smiled, an “ooh” left your mouth.
Jeonghan kissed you again, but this time, instead of giving you just a cute peck, you felt his tongue caress your lower lips and with a weak moan you give the wet muscle permission to enter you mouth, his hot tongue stroked your own, a whimper escaped from the kiss and Jeonghan stopped but not without biting onto your lower lips, you were just so cute and desirable.
“Let’s go?” He said licking his pinky and glossy lips.
“Yeah” you felt pathetic from the way your voice came out in a thread. Shit.
[🍭]
The sun was in a burning heat, attacking mercilessly everyone, you were squeezing the sponges, feeling drops of sweat dance in your forehead when you saw how the cheerleaders along with Mingyu's cousin were playing with the water, wetting themselves while soaping the cars.
Both of you were damp in sweat and your hands hurt because of the rough texture of the sponge, but you and your boyfriend were firm, both determined to get the money to fix their portal to heaven. The air conditioner.
Mingyu finished his turn a few hours ago, leaving you and Jeonghan alone, with a bunch of “pretty” teenage girls that were rubbing themselves in the windows of the cars. You noticed how this man who seemed quite old and looked… somehow weird got into the space given from the gas station for the car washing, the car was shining like it was brand new, even the wheels were sparkling.
“Disgusting” you mumbled, but as the time passed by, you didn’t even care to look again if the cars were clean or not, more money for the a/c.
Yet the sun was affecting you, tiny tears were starting to build in your eyes.
“Hannie, my eyes hurt” you said, pounding to just sit next to your boyfriend -whom was cleaning the rims- and hug his side, resting your face in his arm.
“Baby, we’ll be lucky if we just get out of here with our eyes hurting and not with a sunburn,” he said, kissing the top of your head.
“Can’t wait to have the apartment as cold as the north pole” you whimpered with a high pitch tone.
“Me neither”
[🍭]
You guys didn’t have any idea of how the things turned out this way, the girls were having a wet shirt contest and maybe it was the fact that the school shirts were so soaked they looked translucent and that some of them didn’t have bra, but the clients were giving money like crazy, the tips jar was about to burst, and that indeed made you both so happy.
But your happiness was about to be doomed, you saw how JiWon -Mingyu’s cousin- was getting closer with the old green hose in her hands, with determination in her eyes.
Jeonghan and you ran like a soul who is hunted by the devil, the much younger girl was faster, relentless and with no mercy, the first one to get drenched With the extremely cold water was Jeonghan.
His grey shirt attached to his chest like a second skin, Jeonghan thought that the feeling was going to be excruciating, but the only thing that he felt was satisfaction, making his muscles relax.
“Jiwon!, me too, me too!” You beg when you saw how your boyfriend enjoyed the bath of cold water.
Your cousin’s friend did as requested, soaking you more than your lover who was laughing soundly, he was going to crack a joke when he finally caught more than a glimpse of you, mouth agape at the sight.
The thin fabric of your blouse outlined your delicate figure, accentuating your small waist and the curvature of your breast, black underwear, noticeable under the cloth, your hair looked darker, droplets of water travelled over your neck, disappearing at the collar of the shirt.
Jeonghan was certain, he needed more than just a little splash of water, he was getting hotter and hotter, and if the water wasn’t going to cool him down, only your arousal could.
You gave him a bright smile, his heart melted because you were just too adorable. He wanted to eat you whole.
A smirk was painted in Jeonghan’s pretty face, walking towards you while feeling his hardening cock rub against the fabric of his shorts.
He grabbed you by the waist, body’s so close your face was pressed to his chest, and you couldn’t help but joggle at the hard touch of his dick on your belly.
Jeonghan’s face got close to your ear, biting down your earlobe; he felt you trembling at the action.
“You know, pretty doll?” His hoarse whisper in your ear was ecstasy for you “In this wet shirt’s contest, you are the winner” his grip on your waist tightened taking your breath.
“Han-hannie” you said in a pathetic cry of his name, his hot chest against your was to much,
he was holding you firmly, making you that you could feel his dick poking your belly “We’re at the gas station, Hannie” you tried to move away from him, only managing to make him let go of your waist, but now he was fondling your breast over your shirt in a public space.
“Mmh, you’re right, but I think everyone is focused on the girls, so maybe, it would be better…”his face approached to yours, so close his lips stroked yours faintly “It would be better if we get into the car”he said with his honeyed voice, abiding into your ears“I’m going to fuck you so good, doll” his hot tongue licked you lips and you wanted to cry so bad, because of how much you craved his touch.
Your boyfriend grabbed your hand, interlocking your fingers and guided you towards the old -old- jeep, that was parked behind the gas station.
Once you were beside the car, Jeonghan parted away from you, this time groping the curvature of your ass, making you yelp.
With some struggle he opened the back door of the truck and manhandled you into the back seats, getting inside after you, closing the door with a slam.
He hovered over you, dragging with his hands your oversized shorts, smoothing your cute and puffy thighs, feeling the wet and slightly cold skin.
“Jeonghan, I don’t think this is a good idea” you stuttered, containing a loud and scandalous whine because of the flaring touch of your lover getting closer to your crotch.
“It is a bad idea, in fact it is an incredibly bad idea, but that doesn’t mean we are not going to do it anyway” he whispered with mockery splattered all over his voice, his soft lips grazing over you neck, making you shiver.
Jeonghan hands descended completely to your crotch, touching just lightly over your clothed cunt to then grab your waist tightly once again.
His fingers soothed your flesh over the shirt, they stroked your back, meeting with the hem of your shorts and sneaking inside your underwear.
The skin from your ass was smooth and warm, he massaged up and down, squeezing and spreading your asscheeks shamelessly while you drowned your whimpers in his mouth.
His fingers groped your tight and sticky core, caressing carefully, enjoying how you tried to silence your moans biting your knuckles.
He got his hands out of your shorts, unbuttoning them with expertise, pulling them out in a quick swing, skin reddening at the friction.
Your cheeks were bright red, embarrassed because of the situation you were in, naked from the waist down, with the strong and obscene gaze from your boyfriend over your body. Your forearm rested over your eyes, feeling overly exposed. It's not the first time Jeonghan sees you like this, but you still have the entitlement to feel a little bit of shame because of how vulnerable you are right now.
“You’re perfect” he said, grabbing your arm and pinning them over your head with one hand. “You’re perfect and only mine.” He howled and kissed you passionately, sucking, biting your lips, enjoying the sugary taste of your mouth, and swallowing your moans delightedly.
With his free hand, he lifted your soaked shirt, now contemplating your soft and milky skin, his eyes now fixated over your breasts, his free hand moved your bra, tits now spilling over your chest, perky buttons saying “hi” to Jeonghan in neediness.
He licked his lips with lewdness in his eyes, his hot breath made your perky buttons even more sensitive -if that was even possible-, his lips left an open mouthed kiss, gifting you a hickey just above the bud of nerves, to then proceed and bite and suck your nipple, your boyfriend couldn’t help but feel thrilled by the cry’s that slipped from your mouth.
“Ha- nnie” you said in a pathetic mewl, you felt feverish when his teeth bit into the sensitive flesh, just like you were about to pass out from the sensation.
Jeonghan pressed his fingers in your mouth, making you lick and suck them. Once they were covered in your spit, his hand went once again to your cunt, pressing his fingers into your soaked core.
Two of his fingers entered into your inviting pussy without a warning, digits curling and hitting deliciously every good spot inside of you, Jeonghan savored how your face was showered in ecstasy, knowing that only him could make you feel this good.
You rolled your eyes and your mouth fell agape, gutural moans coming from you, your damp hair sticking to your soft skin and your cunt drooling exited, velvety walls pulsating and sucking his fingers, making him grunt because sooner than later it would be his cock fucking you to the hilt.
“Y/n l/n, hear your name now, pretty, because I’m going to fuck you so hard you’re going to forget it”.
[🍭]
Fast forward to now, Jeonghan was doing the roll of a crutch so you could walk properly towards the younger girls. The mess spilling from your cunt into your underwear making you feel embarrassed, and the burn in your gummy walls, only made you more expectant for what was coming at home.
“Jeonghan, I can assure you that you fucked something inside of me” you whispered not feeling your legs at all, they were asleep because of the cramped place you just had sex in.
“I did more than that,” he said nonchalantly, tightening the grip on your waist.
“Shut up!” you said in a funny cry.
Once you were close to the group of girls, they excitedly gave you an envelope full of money as they thanked you for the help.
Jeonghan got so excited that he let you go, making you lose your balance. You felt a sharp pain in your knees, a loud howl slipped from your mouth, and when your boyfriend looked at you, he felt his dick twitch in his shorts at the view, you were giving him such a mean glare.
“Don’t look at me like that, I might fuck you again”
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