#this was in my head for so long snd i wrote it out but its more fun here

[sunflowerharrington]

i wrote this as soon as i saw the post, i only had ten minutes to spare so it might be super bad. please excuse any grammar, punctuation or spelling mistakes if there is any

You’ve Never Been To Heaven, Have You?

pairing - platonic steve harrington x afab!reader, billy hargrove x afab!reader

summary - the post above by @straksverliefd 💕

some content warnings - oral sex (female receiving), name calling, steve and billy don’t have a rivalry

notes - i had this ALL TYPED OUT AND MY CONNECTION WENT SO I HAD TO STARY AGAIN IT WAS SO GOOD THE FIRST TIME SND NOW ITS JUST MEDIOCRE HELP

taglist - @eddiebillysteve @quickiesgirl @will-byers-is-my-boyfriend @friendly-neighborhood-ghoul @sympathyforher @eddies-bat @taecube @sunnymunson-deactivated20220814 @wzrlds dm comment or ask me to be added or taken off for future updates on my fics 💕

word count - 957

The room began to spin as he lifted you up onto the counter, your wetness soaking the surface beneath you, his lips back on your neck all in one swift motion.

Steve pressed his ear to the kitchen door that had been shut, hearing your high pitched moans, and assuming you were in trouble he swung the door open and stepped into the room. But oh boy, he was so wrong.

“Fuck- Billy, fuck! Oh my god, fuck!” You screamed, your eyes squeezing shut as you approached your third orgasm of the night, the broad strips Billy takes at your pulsing core only broken by the sinful words he speaks to you.

Steve frowned as he watched, his feelings had been growing for you ever since you took El under your wing as your little sister, so seeing you a mess on his kitchen counter with another man’s head between your legs ignited a fire in his stomach.

“Looks like we have a guest,” Billy chuckled under his breath, his eyes locking with Steve’s as he licked one more strip up your folds, circling your clit painfully slowly with his tongue. “Hey, pretty boy. Wanna watch? I can give you some tips so you’ll actually get a bitch instead of pining over Nancy Wheeler for the rest of your pathetic little life.”

Steve contemplated for a moment, before slowly walking towards you and Billy, a tent forming in his jeans as he did so. Billy gestured for him to take a seat next to you on the counter, and so he did, kneading his fingers together in anticipation.

Your frazzled mind couldn’t comprehend the next words to leave Billy’s plush lips, too far gone, but something like; “So, first you gotta make sure she’s nice and wet. And look at that,” he said, pointing to your soaking folds. “She’s all ready. Just one look from me and her knees were already giving up on her.”

Steve nodded, his firm body of excitement taking space beside you, lifting your weak hands into his. Billy hummed, vibrating against your swollen clit, causing you to fly off the edge.

Steve watched wide-eyed as your face contorted in pure bliss, and he couldn’t help but begin to palm himself through his jeans.

“You like that? Such a dirty whore getting off while your best friend watches you,” Billy whispers in your ear, grazing your love between his teeth, one hand on the counter, knuckles white, and the other gripping Steve’s thigh.

“Wanna join, princess?” He asks, looking at Steve beneath his long, curly eyelashes, his stare full of pure lust. “I’m sure she wants you. Do you want Steve, darling?”

With a newfound confidence, Steve jumped off the counter and dropped to his knees in front of you as you nodded, wanting nothing more than a tongue inside you fucking you dumb.

Whether it was Steve’s or Billy’s, you didn’t really care.

“Wait,” Billy said sternly, lacing his fingers through Steve’s soft hair, gripping it and pulling him back. “Words, baby. We need verbal consent before we continue. Do you want Steve?”

“Yes!” You cried out, grabbing Steve’s head with your own hands, pushing his pretty face against your pussy as Billy let go.

“Now what do I do?” Steve asked, looking up at Billy, who just laughed.

“You seriously don’t know how to give head? I have so much to teach you, pretty boy. All of the ways to make my bitch fall apart within seconds.”

Your spine curled as Steve prodded at your entrance with the tip of his index finger, a moan escaping your lips. As Steve’s finger slipped inside, Billy grabbed both of your legs and spread them as wide as they could go, giving Steve more access to you.

“Don’t give her everything just yet, Harrington. She’s so pretty when she begs,” Billy stated, tucking some of your hair behind your ear. “Isn’t that right, babydoll?”

You nodded, wincing slightly as Steve licked one strip up your sensitive, swollen pussy, and he smirked at your actions. Your moans filled the room as his fingers thrust in and out of you, until they slipped out fully, leaving you pulsing around nothing and wanting more. Then you felt his tongue licking small strips between your folds, circling your clit, and nothing. Not even a hint of pleasure.

“I don’t think I’m doing it right,” Steve sighed, standing up. “I normally don’t give up on things but I think she’s gotten so used to how you please her that there’s no way I’ll make her come.”

“I think you’re right, Harrington. But also, never give up, yeah? And stop going after Nancy, she’s with that freak Jonlathan Byers. If girls aren’t doing the trick, I know a guy…”

“I’m good,” Steve replied, and with that, he left the room. “And stop fucking in my kitchen, please. Just because we’re technically roommates, Y/N, doesn’t mean you get to fuck every guy in Hawkins in our kitchen.”

Billy snickered from beside you, curling his arm around your waist. “With an attitude like that it’s gonna make her want to fuck guys all over your goddamn house. Maybe even in your bed. So if I were you I’d shut up and let her do what she wants.”

The kitchen door slammed shut, and Billy’s hand was already slowly creeping back up your leg, his lips attacking your neck with loving kisses, his fingers pushing past your entrance and into your blissful core.

He wanted you to be his, and only his. Even though he tried to play ‘teacher’ for the evening, he would never let another man touch you. Ever again.

“Now, let me worship you the correct way, doll.”

#stranger things #steve harrington #billy hargrove #billy hargrove smut #steve harrington smut #harringrove x reader #steve harrington x reader #stranger things fanfiction #billy hargrove x reader #please try to enjoy this i tried my best #st 3 #st 4

[jamtoasties3316]

i apologise in advance for my non-existent writing skills,but i’ve got an idea for max’s destiny. His second pup turns out to be an omega. a male omega. this is so outrageous to helmut that he just straight out kicks max out,doesn’t even bother to sell him because “he’s too lose since the second birth”. Max going to Toto? Dan? Charles? Idk you chose,and they offer to take care of max. The problem is that in these years he’s been with helmut,he developed a bond with him,so after a week (or even less) away,he starts to miss him,to search him,and maybe even tries to come back. Dan or who you’ll chose as “saviour” to save max has by only choice to fuck and bite him,to break the old bond and create a new one. He would feel so guilty because max of course won’t give his consent,but he knows that is the right thing to do.

Oh my god ok im done i hope what i just wrote can be understood. This way we would have a happy ending but at the same time angst for both max and an alpha 🥺

Oh I like that!

Max having a second pup and Helmut is furious its a little Omega boy. He kicks Max out, tells him he isn't even good enough to sell. Max has his two little kids, one who is barely a 2 months old.and the other almost 2, and he has nothing, no way to care for them. He walks all the way to where he knows Dan is staying and begs the Alpha for some help, maybe for some money in exchange for a blowjob so he can feed his kids...

Dan ofcourse takes him in and the kids too and Max is relieved and tried to be good, helps in the house and cooks and cleans and alwsys asks Dan if he is sure he doesn't want max to help relieve pressure becsuse that's all he ever felt useful at..

Max starting to struggle after a week as the bond is breaking and he ks aching for his Alpha and needs him back! He tries to escape yo find Helmut and its getting dangerous and Dan knows there is only one thing he can do...

He would feel awful, bringing the pups to someone else to watch and then locking himself in the bedroom with Max, who is so scared and his instincts make.him act out. Max cries when Dan fucks him, even when Dan tries to be gentle and whispers sweet nothings, promises Max will be treasured now. Max whining when Dan bites him, claiming him as his own and Max goes limp as Dan licks the blood away, tries to soothe the new bond as Max tries to breathe through the ache of the bond eith Helmut breaking. Dan absolutely losing it then, sobbing and apologising against the mark until Max finally moves, soft hands on his head to tilt it to the side snd bite down to make the bond mutual, something he has dreamed of for so long!

#max's destiny

[anti-dazai-blog]

Hi, recently discovered your blog, love it <3

I started reading the manga around the Kamui Reveal, and back then already worried about the entire arc. Personally, the Dazai-vs-Fyodor-Setup felt undirected and predictable (back then and yet again at its end).

To me, it’s been already pointed out how Asagiri might have a hard time deleting the original cast from the story, which I don’t fault him for. (He likes creating and writing characters and you can tell, I actually love it.) My problem would just be that he needs to change stakes to the plot, it’s getting in the way of immersive storytelling (because he seldomly pulls through with the stakes long-term regarding the original character cast.)

You can actually write a story with good stakes that are consequential to actions without killing characters off; if you do it well, not having death threats hanging over every characters heads won’t take away from the story. (However, with a setting and worldbuilding like bsd it’s a little unrealistic to not have death as side effect/consequence or characters die.)

Back to the arc that’s been going on for years, it feels weird (unplanned), because that’s opposite to how the previous arcs (and especially the light novels) felt and it’s one of the longest arcs; I would have assumed Asagiri had something in mind for a proper (plot)conclusion (it’s a personal opinion that this arc is not properly concluded (currently)).

When we had chuuya drowns and dazai gets shot scenes, I wasn’t for one second thinking they actually died, I was thinking, how is Asagiri gonna write himself out of these scenes (because to me it felt like he didn’t have a solution, reviving the characters, prior to their death scenes), which is a pretty non immersive experience as a reader.

And it’s really weird to me, because I can’t think of a good reason of how all this happened.

Asagiri is not a bad writer, that’s established and the (i think) last „side“ project Stormbringer was exceptional (personal opinion (and I was still baffled(slight negative connotation) at Verlaine being kept alive (who knows wether he will play a role in the future)), it’s really weird thinking about Stormbringer and this arc being written out at a similar time. (I personally have a theory as to why the light novels are so good: He likes writing snd creating characters, but having them interact in this huge cast and series is understandably difficult, whereas the light novels can be seen as a backstory/part of a character, something he is incredibly good at constructing.(He also doesn’t really struggle killing off people here, because the consequences don’t affect the main story.))

He doesn’t „pander“ to people either I think, or at least it wouldn’t make sense. Bsd might possibly have attracted a shounen audience, but it got popular because of seinen themes and characters (which affects the plot) in the first place, so changing things towards to a shounen lane would be dumb, and also not something like Asagiri would do.

I’ve also skimmed across my rant here and I sound like I hate the arc or his writing, but I actually don’t haha, I actually liked a lot of this arc, themes and characters and still have faith in him as an author and this series, it’s just these particular things that kinda hugely scratch my opinion on this arc and how what’s currently happening feels like a non-answer to everything that came before it.

I’m interested in hearing your opinion on this, if you want to take the time for this huge complaint rant (I’m not mad if you don’t haha), in which ways you agree/disagree/could possibly educate me further.

You blog overall is really cool, love your analyses; lots of love <33

Thank you for the ask, I’m so glad you’re enjoying this blog!!!

You’ve summed up the current arc’s issues perfectly— it seems to be out of place when compared to everything else Asagiri wrote in both the previous arcs and the light novels. It came across as aimless— as if Asagiri himself wasn’t sure where he was going with it and was as taking it chapter by chapter.

That being said, I do believe that it might just be a matter of personal taste—maybe Asagiri’s tastes in storytelling has changed over the years, and the current arc is the type of stuff he’d be more interested to write about going forward. I’d be a bit disappointed if that’s the case (and as far as I could tell, I won’t be the only one), but he might form a new fanbase that this current type of story is more catered to.

Either way, I still have hope that future bsd arcs might revert back to how bsd used to be four years ago.

#anti dazai asks #I started watching bsd in 2021 and back then the manga arc didnt feel so different from the overall tone of the beginning anime arcs #It started getting weird in 2022 I think

[cheshire-castle-library]

hey! this is chance & here’s this week’s prompt. what websites or resources do you use while you write or develop a character/story? what do you think of them and would you recommend them?

Hello!! Been fighting a war of spoons this week, so sorry for the delay with this!

Honestly it would be magical if I had 1 single source I could rely on for writer's research, but Google is generally my starting point. After that here are the places I trust the information of:

Masterclass - there are a surprising number of articles and mini interviews for free written or influenced by the professional writers in the platform. One day I'll pay for the full service if only to hear Mr. Gaiman tell me his perspective on storytelling; but the free articles are really concise and informative for structure

Save the Cat Writes a Novel (its a book but there are references all over the internet to it as well) - definitely don't feel chained to what the method lays out!! But the nuances about what should happen in certain types of beats are a great push when you get stuck!!! But it's a really rigid beat sheet that probably won't 100% adhere to what you need it to be.

Behind the Name - actually discusses meanings and origins of cultural names!! This is a great way to get started or to help carve put a character who is a little too murky to write yet.

The Phrontistry - difficult to navigate on a time crunch since its not made for writers, but ctrl-f a key word helps. This place has lists and lists of DEAD WORDS!! Use it to name shit! Use it learn victorian and old english slang. Use it because you just like words. (By the way, a Phrontistry is "a place meant for thinking", so a Zen garden is a phrontistry!!)

My Uni Library Website - this is a privilege I know, but if you can get access to academic sources on arts and cultures it really changes the way you can respectfully draw inspiration from other cultures!!

4TheWords - this is the ADHD buster! Its down at the time I wrote this, but it's a website that gamifies writing so its not just a timer like in writing sprints, every word you type goes to "defeating a monster". You so quests like any mmo and I've legitimate written over 50k in under 30 days because brain goes into panic "it doesn't have to be good" mode and I can get stuff done! Its not totally free, but the micropurchases are actually micro snd you can earn time as well as buy it. They have to make ends meet so i can't be mad

Writer.bighugelabs.com - ive used this online typewriter for like 5+ years. Lifetime membership is 99$ and it goes to the one guy who made it keeping it running. It's got an offline mode and document history so just as long as you are careful and you preload the tab, you don't need data on your netbook/chromebook/ipad to write. It's no markdown, just words on page, it makes typewriter noises, and it looks like a dos command prompt. If you pay for it, you can customize colours, and ive used it for everything from timed exams to emails to novel chapters.

Obsidian.md - free program you can get as an app or on desktop that lets you make basically your own wiki. I've posted about it for my studies, but you can just make your own wiki about your novel, or choose to write directly into it. It supports markdown and latex-like formulae so I've literally written reports in it.

Also like,,,, don't be afraid to use the blogs of other writers! They have experience you could use. But I try to avoid posts that are "7 tips to write x y z" or "never do p q r when writing" because they just get in my head and are generally highly opinionated and are not objectively correct.

I do use, reblog, and strongly support resource and psa type posts though!! Some beautiful human has been making "ways to write [emotion]" posts on tumblr and that person I would like to kiss. They are useful information-based and example-based posts that are just like "and here are some oprions" instead of giving people who are already prone to second guessing themselves (writers) more things to fear cause them "should i even try, what if im cringe and everyone roasts my work" anxiety. ((If people are gonna roast your work, they will nitpick it apart regardless of whether you reinvented My Immortal or wrote the spiritual successor to This Is How You Lose The Time War, so like,,, please just write @me and everyone else who needs to hear that.))

I also advise at least skimming posts about demographics you are not in, especially the ones about how they want to be represented and how it's appropriate to include that in your narrative structure. If you are not in that demographic, you - by definition - cannot fully understand what it's like to be the people who are. Therefore you should to do some quality research and maybe be willing to ask questions of people to make sure you don't fall into stereotypes/virtue signaling/etc.

Finally, *inhales*: WIKIPEDIA!

Yes anyone can edit it, but you know who does??? Coffee riddled neurodivergent individuals with a passion for that one obscure thing you were shocked to find on Wikipedia.

Use the information as a primer, and then to to the sources and try to track down more specific and more "reliable" information. But Wikipedia is usually enough if you are like designing creatures and stuff like that. I don't need amphibious biology research to design an axolotl-like alien sentient lifeform.

That being said, I'm not going to stay limited to wikipedia when i go to learn about xolotl and the culture that named axolotls in order to make sure i don't just steal one animal and a naming convention but also pay some respect and homage to the spirit of the animal and related irl folklore. But finding relatable and first hand cultural sources is very case by case.

#my big mouth #writeblr #letters from the cheshire castle #i can't remember my tags rn

[waddei]

I want to know how smp earth and smp live connect to the dream smp. In as much detail as you’re willing to give please

ok so.

smpE takes place at least hundred years before dsmp like Phil canonized that one time.

the only person that's the same as in dsmp is Phil, the emperor of ice techno is a human with dyed pink hair not a pigling since the nether hadn't been opened yet

business bay tommy is an ancestor to c!tommy. the business bay in my head is a transport company, they help other territories to export and import products through their railroad systems and plane services.

smpE!Tommy (who I've named simmon bay in my head like a month ago and I've been calling that ever since) is a renowned pilot (or that's what he always says) and often takes the most dangerous routes through the empire territories, he's banned from there snd they always try to shoot him down.

smpE!Wilbur aka William track in my head is one of his business partners/allies. he helps with the planing of the different railroads and with maintenance of the tracks. in return  he's offeres discounts and help in his main project (the transatlantic railroad)

William isn't related to Wilbur at all. philza did name Wilbur somewhat after him tho.

after he lost the trial for the whole world domination thing the "punishments" list was kinda ridiculous, aside From the normal shit like "give back the land" and "pay reparations to the ones affected" William made him swear on his life that he'll name his firstborn after him, Phil (thinking he'd never have children) agreed not really thinking about it.

years later, once Wilbur had been born, kristin (goddess of death) jokingly reminded him of his promise and sujested they call their son Wilbur. Phil (who had made it a personality trait to stick go his words) agreed.

back to smpe, the server never really dissolved like irl, isntead ppl simply died off or moved on and the land eventually was occupied by other server owners, simmon was one of the ones that moved on and went to live in the early stages of hypixel and wrote a book with business advice.

almost 3-5 years before dream SMP was SMP live

SMP live was never a server meant to last too long, it was mostly a place where ppl looking for job opportunities went to hang out, representatives from different servers all went there to scout out talents.

a bit later in it's life it formed a dedicated group of businessmen that instituted a new form of currency (yes it's jschallt coin)

this was new in the space at the time and it skyrocketed the popularity and population of the server.

Wilbur (our wilbur this time) went there after hearing about it from tommy(tommy admired jschallts and would always talk about how much of a Shame it was that he was too young to enter smpLIVE)

he makes a name for himself after winning Carson talent show and becomes friends with jschallt

now... remember that book simmon wrote l mentioned? yeah jschallt read that,turns out its just a scam guide and he took it to hearth. (i image it'll be very funny if he ever found out that c!tommy is a descendant of the guy he idolizes so much sjjsjs)

the server collapsed after jschallt pulled the rug off jschallt coin and ran away with the money, Wilbur never properly found out about this tho, he had left the server a month or so before that to go reunite with tommy over at Skyblock.

and then dsmp happens :)

#smp earth #smp live #dream smp #asks!! #anon!!

[wlw-mess]

Betty Cooper is oblivious to Choni AU 👀😂

#choni #cheryl blossom #toni topaz #bughead #betty cooper #jughead jones #veronica lodge #riverdale #this was in my head for so long snd i wrote it out but its more fun here #betty is NOT stupid she just didnt pick up #on this #she didnt expect it and this #idea is so funny to me #like her just.. not knowing?? #text au #riverdale text #riverdale text au

[fizzydrink698]

Id also like 2 know if u cn recmend any similar Chan centrd fics like instincts it cn b any othr author 2! + I wntd 2 snd feedback on such phenomenal stuff & jst 2 let the writer knw tht theyve done a spectacular job & tht thyre doing great! bc smtms these stay in ur head for 2 long evn if its jst fiction but at times u can get attched 2the story & characters & its safe 2 say this is one of them! ❤️❤️❤️ (5)

Chan fics, you say?

Well, I guess I have to shout out my other Chan fics:

warmth = it’s a short little 2k fic of chan and reader getting snuggly in a tent

touch = ok, here’s a big one. werewolf au, bickering-frenemies-to-lovers, quite spicy 👀

But mostly, I want to talk about my absolute favourite Chan fics out there. Like, wow:

standby series by @kisskissbanggang = the fic that got me into skz fics. the fic. THE. FIC. i can’t get over it.

my house by @formidxble = i wrote an 800 word review of this oneshot, going line by line to squeal about my favourite parts. i love it.

(and finally, although it’s more of a 3Racha x reader fic than a specifically Chan fic, I have to include it here)

more & more series by @lavenderbexlatte = the fic that inspired me to actually post skz fic. i sent an anon ask about the cliffhanger ending to one of the chapters (no spoilers) and got an open, welcoming response and the rest is history. this fic holds such a major part of my heart. i very sincerely believe i never would have started writing kpop fic without reading this. i have a huge amount of respect and admiration for bex.

there are so many good chan fics to add here, and i absolutely encourage anyone to add more to this list if they want to 🥰

#hey there anon 👋 #look at fi squealing about fics #much emotional attachment #fic recs

[spongebob-connoisseur]

if you had to criticize classic and modern spunch bop what the criticisms be?

I feel like this should be split into 3 not 2.

Classic, middle, and modern spongebob since we know classic is like seasons 1-3/4 and then modern spongebob as of currently is season 9-12. So middlebob is seasons 4-8. Since it's not quite classic but no longer modern.

Anyways it's hard to be critical about classic spongebob since its something you watched as a kid over and over and it's hard to see something new about it and be properly critical without nostalgia getting in the way.

But something I've noticed as of recent is that I really prefer season 1 over 2 and 3. It's well known that I like season 1. But to put why I feel like it's so special and what feels lacking from seasons 2 and 3. I miss how down to earth the stories of season 1 are. They're calming and they kinda feel like silly things that happen as a kid.

They felt more exaggerate in the later seasons like the characters get a little bit more dialed up for comedic purposes and in more and more crazier situations. That's not bad. That's what gave the best and most memorable moments in the classic era. This is more of a personal preference. I just like how there's a bunch of little details and stuff about the characters sprinkled in the first season. Like spongebob explaining why he can't seem to pass his boating exam of the fact that Patrick's parents kicked him out or spongebob saying nobody went with him to his own junior prom. They aren't a big deal but they kinda shape an idea about the characters before the series began and how they generally like. We do get this in seasons 2 and 3 but it becomes a lot more cartoony ans it gets lost a bit. I'd like a balance. Season 2 and 3 gave the most memorable moments and most meme worthy moments as well. So yeah.

That's not really proper criticism. More of a personal preference and very subjective.

There's also inconsistency with character designs (not like just drawing them off model) but like sponge looking different in pretty much every episode. Sometimes thin lined, sometimes thick lined, sometimes more square, sometimes more rectangular. I can't complain since I like that variation and looks but its a little too obvious. How many times his look changes?

Also around the middle of season 3 the show starts to get a little mean spirited. I get the joke of Mr. Krabs selling SBs soul for 62 cents and how horribly the bikini bottomites treated spongebob in the Sponge who could fly. I know people bring up the mean spirited nature of spongebob when talking about the middle seasons but it started season 3. It was just less noticeable. But err.. The problem was there.

I don't think there's much to say that hasn't already been said about that middle era of Spongebob. Seasons 4-8. Its not as bad as people make it out to be but you can notice when the show starts to slip towards the end of season 4. Season 5 was pretty hit or miss. Though I like a large portion of season 5. It's kinda weird how every other episode is flopping from good to bad. You can watch two episodes that are paired together and they'd be completely different qualities.

The episodes slowly dipped, recently I watched an episode from season 8. It really sucked. The plot as an idea was good. But the characters were so flat. They just move their mouths and look in different directions, left or right. They're just standing. They always announce what they're gonna do. It's so slow. Some of their jokes rely on awkward conversations snd a weird blank kind of feeling that a lot of shows in the late 2000s/early 2010s relied on. That I really despise.

Like spongebob and plankton having a conversation and its so boring and straight forward but they drag it out so long. And most of it is spongebob just saying "wait! Wait! Wait! *pause* wait!" Its not going anywhere.

People complain about modern spongebob being so expressive but I prefer the expressiveness over how blank and boring these episodes were. There's also things like grotesque character designs and squidward torture.

Also facial expressions!! Aside from being blank, I just hate the chubby cheeks look. With really round eyes and sometimes gross looking expressions. Weird thing to be critical about considering I like the modern seasons also have weird expressions. But idk how to explain why I don't like it. Its like uncle grandpa but if it was spongebob. Weirdly doesn't work well together.

And now for modern spongebob. Hard to say much since I really really like it. I know people complain about over expressiveness but I adore it. But I always liked over expressiveness in cartoons. Crazy wacky expressions are like eye candy for me so I think I have my own biases.

But season 12 has a little bit too much. I'm just recalling when I watched r u zoo? And it gave me a headache. My head was spinning since the expressiveness paired with almost neon backgrounds was too much.

Speaking of backgrounds. Background art is gorgeous, amazing, stupendous. But there are times where if feels like straight neons. Particularly greens like for grass and whatnot. Why does it look neon?? This isn't exclusive to SB. I've noticed this with pokemon too. Where the grass is neon and I just can't stand looking at it.

Season 3 has the elite color palette. I like how much more blue-greens there are. And more purples. But that's a personal nitpick.

I remember my friend saying while she enjoys modern spongebob, it doesn't quite feel like spongebob. And while I adore modern spongebob, yeah I get whst she means. Spongebob and the rest of the characters really don't act the way that you expect them.

(Just noticed how many times I wrote spongebob there but anyways) the characters don't really act like the way that you expect them to. That's probably from the lack of continuity. But sometimes mmmm sometimes the joke that spongebob is a baby feels weird. From being goofy and has childish traits to straight out a baby is something thats been happening a looong time since the middle era. But it feels weird. I prefer when they joke about his nerdier traits.

I accepted modern spongebob as its own character and not the same as classic spongebob.

I kinda accept every spongebob from each season as its own character because he acts too differently season to season to make a fair comparison.

But yeah sometimes it still can go overboard. Spongebob being a crazed maniac while driving, squidward getting excessively brutalized for nothing.

R u zoo doesn't make much sense why he'd get banned from the zoo. Isn't there a whole episode where he fears he might have broken the rules? He acts like a baby and can't recognize he did anything wrong. It feels so out of character, even for him. Or him being a constant destroyer of anything he touches. Which in media is a trope I hate.

In show they're kinda self aware now and exaggerate the characters personalities to make a joke of itself. Like spongebob being a kissup at work. Or the characters aware and expecting spongebob to mess up and destroy things. Idk I don't like it? It was funny at first but it stopped feeling like a joke and more of how the characters actually are.

Also mr. Krabs! This is a criticism that goes back to middle era spongebob but his greed really needs limits. At least before he cared about people and learns his lesson when his greed goes too far. But I miss when pearl and Mrs. Puff used to mean more to him than money. I miss how he used to treat spongebob like a son. Something worth mentioning.

This is a bit much, more than what I was expecting but I hope this satisfies your question!

#Ask #Spongebob #Spongebob squarepants #Spongebon squarepants #Sb #Sbsp #the spongebob connoisseur

[jasons-exposedspine]

The pain of heartbreak

Summary: Negan has his heart broken again and this time it's forever.

Warnings: huge amount of angst, tiny bit of fluff, sad Negan, numb Negan.

A/N: i wrote this for a request from @spntwdkitkat​ so here it is doll i hope you like it. the prompts were from both the fluff and ants list. angst prompt four and fluff was prompt number ten. the prompts are in bold in the story. i made it a bit longer cuz i just had to get some shit off of my chest.

Relationship: Negan x Reagan (MY!!OC)

The cancer had spread quicker than Reagan expected and she knew that today would be her last day alive. So she made the most of it with Negan, Michonne had allowed them to go outside of Alexandria. So he took her to the beach where she wanted to go and they spent most of the day there. Then he took her to a field under the stars and set down the blanket they had brought with them. She didn’t have to tell him because he already knew that this would be the last time he would hold her. 

He pulled her to his chest and wrapped his arms tightly around her. Reagan placed her head on his chest and she placed her hand on his chest ceiling her fingers around his shirt. She smiled as she felt happy to be in his arms for the last time as she felt herself getting closer and closer. “Its so pretty out here being able to look at the stars” she said, Negan smiled and kissed the top of her head. “Not as fucking pretty as you baby” Reagan looked up at him and smiled as his eyes sparkled. 

She felt weaker and it hurt to breathe, she tried not to show it but Negan saw right through it. He knew her time was almost up, he felt his heart ache knowing that she was going to be leaving him forever. He had been through this before with Lucille but it never hurt as much as it did now. Reagan moved up his body so they were looking into each others eyes. She cupped his cheek “you’re gonna be ok Negan i know you will just don’t turn back into who you were. i’m glad i found you when i did cuz if i hadn’t i would be out of control. 

You’ll get through it you did before so i know you can now and if you feel like you cant do it just remember Lucille and i are always with you.” Reagan felt tears slide down her cheeks and Negan tried to hold back the tears but he couldn’t. Reagan wiped his tears away with her thumbs “keep your head up and no crying ok?” Negan nodded remembering he had told her that seven years ago. They had set the blanket down next to an old car that was left in the middle of the field.

Negan sat up and dragged his but up so his back was leaning up against the side of the car. Reagan moved next to him he wrapped his arms around her and she rested the back of her head on his shoulder. He slipped his fingers through hers and wrapped his arms tighter around her. Negan rested the side of his face against hers he kissed her temple sweetly. “You’re gonna be ok baby i know you will but i cant fucking live without you. i wont know what to do i’ll be fucking lost without you” his voice broke and tears started to fall down his cheeks. 

“please don’t fucking leave me” Reagan turned her head to press her face against his cheek. They both broke down in tears “i don’t want to fucking leave you Negan i don’t want to go.” At that very moment Negan’s heart broke into a million pieces all over again. He felt a pain in his chest as he turned his face to press his forehead against hers. “Please, please don’t fucking go yet Reagan please” he begged, he wasn’t ready to go through this again. 

“Its not your fucking time yet baby i wanted to marry you and maybe even have a kid but gods a fucking cock sucker and he is taking you from me. The worst thing is i cant save you from this” he choked. Reagan cupped his cheek and pulled away from his face to look into his beautiful hazel eyes for the last time. She pressed her lips against his softly enjoying the taste of his lips for the last time. Their lips moved slowly trying to savour the taste of each other. This was their last ever kiss so they made it last a few minutes. 

When they finally pulled away from each other Reagan felt her body starting to shut down so she moved back to her original position. Negan hugged her tighter than he had in years and felt more tears fall down his cheeks. “I fucking love you, you know that?” he whispered into her ear. “And i fucking love you too Negan i love you more than anything in the world” she whispered weakly. Her breathing was becoming slower and her body felt weaker and weaker by the second. The memories of their relationship flashed through her mind. The last thing she heard was him whispering that he loved her and she was encased by his scent. 

The feeling of his arms around her was getting fainter and fainter as she was slowly slipping from his grasp. The grip of her fingers laced with his his was slowly getting looser and looser and her eyes were slowly falling shut. “I love you Negan” was what she said with her last breath as she slowly slipped away. She died feeling happy,  her breathing stopped and she fell limp against his body. Negan shot up and pulled the upper half of her body into his lap. He shook her and tapped her face “Reagan, Reagan please baby wake up, please wake up” he felt the tears flood down his cheeks and his heart hurt like hell. 

“Reagan no, no please” he begged, he pressed the side of his face against the side of hers and rocked slowly back and forth. He took the knife from her belt and went to stab it into the side of her head but he paused. He promised her he would kill her the second time and he did as he slowly pushed the knife into her temple. When he pulled it back out he threw it into the grass and sat there with her dead body in his arms. He sat there for hours crying and kissing her forehead. His heart was broken again and now no one could put it back together. 

When the sun rose he wrapped her in the blanket that they were eating on and scooped her body up in his arms. The tears were still falling from his eyes as he carried her back to Alexandria. When Daryl opened the gate and saw Negan carrying her wrapped up dead body his face softened. Negan just walked past him and down the street with tears still visible on his cheeks. His eyes were red and puffy and his heart hurt. 

Negan stopped walking when Michonne approached him with a sad look on her face, she stopped in front of him. Michonne knew how it felt, she had lost Rick and her sons so she knew what he was going through. “I’m sorry Negan go bury her, i know you loved her cuz she loved you god how she loved you.” Negan dropped his eyes to the  ground and nodded his head, he just walked past Michonne. He carried her body to her favourite spot to sit under an old willow tree near the garden. 

He kneeled down and placed her body softly onto the ground. He went and got a shovel and started digging a large hole. After an hour of digging he climbed out of the hole and knelt down next to her body. He pulled back the blanket to look at her face one more time, he kissed her forehead softly. Negan took the silver heart necklace he had found her seven years ago and put it into his pocket. He kissed her lips one more time before pulling the blanket back over her face. 

He scooped her body up and knelt down to lift her down into the hole he had dug. “Goodbye Reagan i’ll love you forever” he whispered as more tears welled in his eyes, he climbed out of the hole and placed the dug up dirt over her body. Once he finished burying her he just sat by her grave all day feeling numb. She had made him feel again but now all of that feeling had but disappeared. He missed everything about her, her laugh, her smell, her eyes, the way she was protective of him and the way she cared about him. She was the only person that gave a shit about him after all the shit he had done. The sound footsteps shook Negan out of his thoughts, he looked up and Gabriel was standing next to him.

 “Negan you have to go back into your cell” he said looking down at Negan. Negan lifted his head and Gabriel saw his red and puffy eyes, Negan got up off of the ground. He dusted the dirt off of his ass, he blew a kiss to Reagans grave snd turned around to follow Gabriel. Negan just hung his head low as they walked along the path past the houses. He followed Gabriel down the steps down to his cell, Gabriel opened the door and Negan walked in. He walked into his cell and just slid down the wall and sat there quietly with his head low. Gabriel shut the cell door the door rattled as he shoved the key in the lock and turn the key.

 Gabriel didn’t say anything he just turned around and walked out the door. Negan let out a loud sigh, he rubbed his eyes and sat with his head against the wall. An hour later Gabriel came back with a tray of food for Negan. He set it on the floor in front of his cell and walked back out the door. Negan looked over at his tray there was a sandwich with a glass of water. He sighed again and sat in the same position for hours, every time he closed his eyes he would see Reagan. 

He nodded off but when he opened his eyes Reagan was standing in front of him “i know you’re not really here.” Reagan smiled “no i’m not but what did i tell you? keep your head up and don’t let my death make you angry and miserable.” Negan got up off of the ground and walked closer to her. “You aren’t fucking here and i am angry and upset and i will be for a long fucking time.” Reagan chuckled and shook her head “Negan i know that you wont get over me but you have to keep moving, keep moving for me.” Negan felt tears well in his eyes “i cant keep fucking moving without you, i cant feel anything now because you are gone.” 

Michonne was on a late night walk around Alexandria when she heard Negan talking. She peeked through the window to his cell and saw him talking but there was no one there. “Reagan i cant fucking do this not without you” he mumbled, Michonne’s eyebrows puckered. She knew how he felt, she saw Rick and Carl and she talked them too. “Go away Reagan” he barked “just go the fuck away!” he yelled, he was breathing heavily and he broke down in tears again.

He sat back down against the wall and he sat there with his head in his hands, he sniffled and wiped the tears from his eyes. The worst part is he knew that the vision of Reagan was right he promised her that he would be strong for her. But somehow it seemed that it was much harder the second time around, he had lost both of the women that he really loved in his life. Michonne walked back home, she felt sorry for Negan which was very unusual for her because she hated his guts. Reagan was so nice to Michonne and she didn’t appreciate it as much as she should of because Reagan had tried to hard to make it right.

 Negan just sat in the darkness looking up at the ceiling of his cell trying to keep his mind of both Reagan and Lucille. Negan was awake all night, once the sun came up he stood up took a piss and lied down on his bed. He yawned and just stared at the ceiling blankly, he hadn’t touched his food and the only thing he felt was anger and grief. He heard footsteps approaching the door to his cell, he didn’t even bother to see who had walked in.

When he heard Michonne say his name he turned his head and stared blankly at her, she ditched his tray with toast and an apple. Michonne pulled put a chair and sat down “come to tell me you’re sorry?” Negan mumbled. Michonne sighed “i heard you talking to her last night Negan, i know what its like.” Negan scoffed and rolled his eyes, he stood up from his small bed and walked over to the rusted bars. “Reagan was a good person she saw something in you that we couldn’t” she said in a i feel sorry for you but not really tone. 

“What the fuck would you know? you never knew her or ever took the time to know her. Cuz if you fucking did you’d know that she tried everything to fucking please you, to make you like her again. Everyone here treated her like shit except for Judith, and Reagan never did anything wrong. Sure she fell in love with me but she was the kindest and most stubborn person i ever fucking knew. She liked you she thought you were the shit Michonne and you just treated her like dirt. 

She may have betrayed you in the past but she had spent the last eight fucking years trying to make it right and you never took the time to fucking notice it. And yeah i do see her but thats because she made me fucking feel again after i lost my wife. And i will be angry and sad for the next few months maybe fucking more but i am trying to make it right as well.” Michonne felt bad that she hadn’t noticed how hard Reagan had tried to make it right.

“When i met Rick i felt the same like i could feel again but after he died it feels like its harder the second time around. Reagan did bring the best out in you and she was the only person that you would listen to when you were being an ass. She was very protective of you, and by the way Rick knew she could change and she did. She still loved you, i thought you were a heartless monster but it seems she brought out the good in you. She brought out the good in people and i know she wouldn’t want you to be so damn miserable. 

But i know what its like we keep moving to move away from it but sooner or later we have to face it. I’m gonna let you out of your cell but no trying to escape or i wont let you out again unless you want to see Reagan.” Negan just sighed and nodded his head, Michonne opened the cell door and he followed her outside. Negan walked in the direction of Reagans grave but he turned around and spotted a few bushes of flowers. Negan picked her a red rose, a yellow daffodil and a water lily he walked back over to her grave. He bent down and placed the flowers at the head of her grave, he sat beside her grave leaned up against the oak tree. 

The sweet morning air blew through the leaves of the old oak tree making Negan smile, he knew it was Reagan or Lucille. “If Lucilles up there with you which i know she fucking is tell her that i miss her like any fucking thing and i fucking miss you like any fucking thing too Reagan. I love you both so fucking much and you both would tell me what to do cuz i’m fucking clueless.” He just sat there talking to both Reagan and Lucille not caring if there were people around. 

He sat at her grave till the sun went down and he went back into his cell like he did the day Reagan died. His dinner was left to run cold because he never touched it. He only drank the cup of water and that was all, he just sat against the wall. Reagan appeared again that night and many nights after but he felt less lonely. Having Reagan as a vision gave him a sense of comfort in the heartbreak but he still felt numb.

@savedpeople​ @negan-morningstar​ @negan-the-cat​ @smcc212​

#negan angst #sad negan #depressed negan

[pbandjesse]

So apparently my entire post didnt save?? I wrote thr whole thing?? I dont understand.

So lets do this again.

Im feeling really happy right now despite being annoyed that I have to write this again. Its been a really awesome valentines day. Just really wonderful. Im pretty exhausted right now but its because it was just a long and good day.

I didnt sleep great last night. I woke up at 4am was up until almost 6. I was just uncomfortable. And i tried to put on monster factory but i was like delirious and was basically scream laughing until I passed out.

I slept until 9. And i felt better. I got dressed and felt really cute. This is the first Valentine's day ive ever had a real valentine. Like i always love holiday because its so close to my birthday. But I was excited to share it with such a great guy.

James came over around 11 to drop off cookies for my kids. And i gave him the little presents I got him. And he walked me to the bus.

Work was great. I did find a bullet in the grouns outside the school. So I gave that ti Tiffany because while I would normally keep something like that I felt weird because it was at the school. But everything else today was great.

I brought some furbies for the kids to play with and draw. And the cookies James made were a hit. Very very good. We did some art. We drew furbies and used tissue paper to stain paper. We had pizza and chips for our party. And we listened to music snd they danced and it was really nice. It was an excellent day.

We ended the day with a couple games. And then everyone got picked up no problem. I called a lyft and he couldn't find me for a few minutes but that was okay. I got home a couple minutes after 6 and my favorite boy was there!! And he brought in my mail and both my 2005 furby and my new gremlins furby had come!! Hello new friends! And then he gave me a gift of a special valentines furby and they are So pretty. James named her Valerie.

I went and got changed. I felt beautiful. And we headed to the restaurant.

We had a strange and weird interaction. A guy asked us for $20 because his car got towed and he needed to take a cab and he had dinner for his boyfriend for valetines day and he just had the saddest eyes. And like normally that sounds like a scam. But James reconized him. He was an actor on The Wire. And hes a culinary student and was just legit in a bind. And like. If something happened to me someday and i really needed help I would hope someone would trust me. And I had that $20 my aunt renee sent me for my birthday. He sung to me when i gave it to him. And you know what it made me feel good to help someone.

And dinner was great. And I loved being with my boyfriend. And the bread was great and the food was tasty and we were on the second floor of the restaurant and in thr back corner and it was romantic and good and I was really happy.

And when we were done i was cold and tired. We got home and I washed my face and James taught me to play Skyrim. And I wrote my post. But it apparently got deleted. Annoying. But we played a scary game together and its been a beautiful day. And I just love him so much.

Tomorrow start my week vacation. Tomorrow is a chill day. With painting and maybe lesson plan stuff. I hope you all feel loved tonight. Sleep well!

#ootd #work #babe #selfie #in progress #furby #kids art #good day #love #boy #thursday

[whimsically-ominously-auspice]

Jack: everyone on the internet calls it a miracle that,we're alive

Me: really?

Jack: babe. Remember how I said earlier that sometimes you just look really stupid?

Me: it didn't seem like a miracle to me...

FBI: Well you should ask one of the cops then. Cause I ain't ever seen anyone deader or a room more filled with natural gas to the point where ee could not see for over two hours. We had to feel along the walls with a hope and a prayer we were doing it right to get them off the wall, using night vision goggles on our gas masks.

Me: well I don't have access to the tv channels... That's how I do it every day... Blind..

FBI: what did you do that day any way besides listen to their hearts to see if they would live?

Me: that was all... Well i burped at one of them... Sometimes they don't like to just be living they like something funny. I only did 2 tho... Brian was already awoke.

FBI: yeah he did that on his own. But Sabrina they didn't need any medical treatment. They just came back to life but how?

Me: some dead hang around their body until it's safer to get back in. Some that have had training.

Jack: IDK what I did baby but I was just there

Me: you remember where you were before?

Jack: the wall. Then just watching you but out of body like I sometimes do when I'm sleep but that was all. I seen you go to the store and I tried handing you your purse but you didn't seem to notice

Me: well I didn't know you were dead in the car

Jack: well you didn't even say thank you but you seemed to notice i was there when you got down. You said "well that was weird but not so much. It will be better when you get done being an ass hole and actually get the nerve to come see me. But let's go jn the store." I think. Did you?

Me: probably when I shut the door. I say it so much.. I don't really notice.

FBI: So what about the other 4?

Dinah Julie. My dead mom: i did. This momma. I said "well let's get back in now. Your girls are waiting." She knows how i do it. just gently glide over and shove them in at the light of speed.

My dad: so you just shove them in huh?

My mom: well they don't go. She just listens to their hearts. Oddly they took D down first and she just happened to go down and she knew he was on the floor and that was that.

Me: its weird that i didn't know it was him.

My mom: well shit you should had you seen his whole torso and all

Me: i just wasn't expecting him. I think i would wanted to know why he was there and

My mom: wanted to control

Me: cause a scene more... Get in the way. I Just shut up and work around things that I dont realize... That aren't that important... At that moment... Like i would had mommed out and been all why the Hell did this happen this way and WTF. Not control but know and then people will have to stop and deal with my drama and it causes more of a mess.. Because had i realized i would been upset. I knew there was a certain set of people up to 6... But the extra 2 i was not aware of

Jack: so excuse me ma'am

Me: i was mad at yoh.

Jack: haha.

Me: apparently for getting kidnapped!.

FBI: i don't wanna laugh but..

Me: but so the fact that there was more people didn't really matter because they were being taken care of.

Mom: well you didn't even take care of any of the Germans! It was the old guy you burped at!

Me: the people I'm closest to. I know them and i know their soulmates. And i can't watch their soulmates suffer any more because I've watched it a lot and iy hurts me a lot to see it. Not that the other people aren't important or significant but those two impact my life greatly and most often.

Jack: every single time i get kidnapped all you do is get pissed off at me. Time before last you fucking yelled at me "fuck you and your fucking Dali lllama that you rode in on!!" And you were so fucking pissed and your eyes were red, your brown part. And I was all... "Fuck idc what you say. I'm gonna live" and I felt really stupid because I was sure i was gonna die... Because I was shot in my lung and i thought it got ky heart. And you said that. Fuck you and your fucking Dali Llama you rode in on. I never heard that shit in my life. And i just saw a llama all clean and fresh snd i knew i was dead and you said "the whole fucking world seen that! Shut the fuck up! Go to sleep you're on my fucking nerve" next thing i knew I was in an American Chopper... And i said "thank you" and you said "yeah fuck off" and i said "fuck you bitch!!" And i started to cry and you smiled this slick sick smile all sly... Tilting your head so no one around could see it. And i knew. You said "you're welcome" and i started laughing and i said "i hate this bitch. I'm gonna fuck her hard" then about 6 weeks later after i got out of the hospital in Germany I was at Circle K in Belen and I was just got into town the day before and i smelled this girl in line and i was explaining to you "babe this girl ... I haven't smelled you in so long but she smells just like you where did you say you were?" And this girl did like you and reached back and scratched her head and when all uggghbbhh and i thought no way is that you. So i said it again and you flashed your left arm up your back to scratch it. And you said "oh my fucking God I'm going to kill something" and the cashier said "bad day?" And you said "no. Some stinky boy who is about to --" and i had grabbed your hand you had behind Your back and you didn't move or try to kill me or scream or even pull away. And so i stuck my head up next to you and said "she means me"

Me: and you smelt fucking good although your little beard was ragged... And i was all Fuck this goddamed ass hole sniffing chicks and shit like he's a school boy in love so I kissed your fucking face. But i didn't know it was you.

My mom: his point is that she actually saved his life then, too. I gave her his coordinates and she emailed every person she could think of and even posted it public so someone could find him ASAP. And they found him within 15 minutes. Not next to alive. But completely dead. And i told her. "Uh Your soulmate is dead you know" and she said "oh" "reached over metaphysically and shook his foot and said "dead people don't have sex, don't you know?!" And the first thing to come to life was his dick! I swear to you! I even asked him "did you miss your legs jumping into your feet and put both feet into your penis?" And he's still got no blood pumping in his other head and he says "i think she'll like" sick little bastards. Ive seen her walk into a McDonald's and find a shot gun victim shot in the chest and lean down and whisper "hey im gonna get some food. I think they got hot fries" and shoowm they come right back to life! Talk about enticing a fellow! She does that a lot. Just give Some one the thought they left off on is the best way she always says but if you can't figure that out, bribe.

Me: McDonald's is always easy. Food. If that don't work. Shopping. Sometimes its back to work or home but that yoh can usually tell. Most the time in reality it's the hospital... But I remember that one dude. He was all bleeding and all sat down and ate some food he had ordered. A quarter pounder big Mac they had them back then and some fresh medium fries. And a large soft drink. Coke with a small ice. He wanted the ice for a small cup not the large. He had just got off work. See he just got up off the floor all "where my food. Get. Out the way miss" and sat down and ate. Man he needed a transfusion... I wasn't sure what all went down. I just sat down near him whistling and all.. And he wolfed his food down and he said "man i don't feel so good" and fainted. Man i felt bad. He fell in slow motion just halfway... I went to help him sit up and slipped on this puddle of blood... He must had bled out half his blood. Most of the time i didn't go to the hospital with them. But him i did. He died. A lot. He didn't have enough blood. So i stopped the dude cause he kept zapping him. I said "you can't do enough electricity if he don't have enough of the joints -- the jolts are too much you're gonna fry his self and he already ate those fresh. He ain't got no juice in his wires.... I see you're not an electrician.he ain't got no blood!!! See You're gonna need 3 bags of saline for there to be enough liquid in his veins for his heart to even pump. Hes empty. How you gonna run a car without no gas?!" Finally the EMT eyes lit up said "you meant zapping him won't do no good. You called me froggy and i been lost since then Cause you know that ain't my name" "its because your voice. Like you got a frog in your throat. Well juice him up, Vince!" "Man you act like you aint from the Bronx, i swear. You didn't think you would get shot in there?" "You can't shoot an angel my buddy" "well what did he do that was so wrong then?" "That's not what I meant" "but you did get shot and it bounced off" "oh that's just my mom. She's my bullet proof vest"

Jack: how come I didn't get your mom?

My mom: cause you got your own and she saved your. Cranium! That's why you got shot in the lung. But tree said not to save you from it and we got upset! Until you got a boner and we thought it was funny

Jack: you know how i got kidnapped and shot?

Me: checking on a "homeless shelter" and they thought you were an actual kidnapper and they kidnapped you and held you hostage until your time was up and no one saved you so they killed you?

Jack: what the fuck babe

Me: i told you I'd kill your dam horse, too. Did you know that's what happened?

Jack: not until this fucking second "DAD"

Me: I told you all that shit about what he did in Iraq with that barbaric guy. And how he was in on 911 And how he used drones to shoot Iraqis for no fucking reason. I wrote it. I told everyone.

My mom: that's not Jack's fault so why.

Me: he was supposed to know. I wasn't supposed to leave him at Circle k. But who else was there? Alex Laughlin And I couldn't stand the sight of him. I got sick and i had to leave

Jack: well you told me to get the fuck out the car

Me: because I thought you were him! And you got out and every one went over and including Matt Hagan and i was all fuck this shit. I'm not doing this, I'll get myself killed.

Jack: well thanks a lot "dad" for getting me fucking killed and pretending to care

Me: i fucking told you. I hated you Jesse and I meant it. You fuck with me one more fucking time you're gonna eat fucking dirt. Do you understand?

Jesse: no

FBI: Sabrina so you're telling me that Jesse You're always emailing is a terrorist?

Me: yeah why didn't you know that?

FBI: because hes a dam liar. Mother fuckers of God. He calls them homeless shelters. That you run. But you don't do that shit you build them their own houses

Me: exactly. I don't fuck with home less people. They dont want homes. I bought some and then the homeless rented out the houses and moved back oj the streets. They explained to me they prefer to live outside. So i don't fuck with homeless. Take them food. Make sure they got umbrella and plastic sheeting for rain storms and blankets and so on and feed them but don't touch them. Leave them where they be. I teach my daughter that "they are homeless because they want to be" granted that isn't all. Some have other circumstances. But I dont fuck with homeless. They live under the stars. No rules, the truest most free people in the world. I dont fuck with them and it PISSES ME OFF YOUD USE MY NAME on a HOMELESS SHELTER, how fucking dare you. When its KIDNAPPING.

Jesse: well what do you want me to do? I'm here to please you!

Me: choke to death and die. Choke on your lies. And die. What the fuck do yiu think.j

Jesse: no

[obwcmp]

First Year Done

2018 is pretty much done! As is my first year of CMP. It’s crazy to think that there’s only two years left... I’ll be sure to make the most of them! With this post i’ll be going through the final stretch at the end of semester 2, and looking at a bunch of photos i found recently which date back to April this year. In my previous post I said i’d hopefully post something after the 25th. Well... here we are a month and a half later. On to it!

As of writing this intro on the 16th of December it’s somewhat of a blur as to what happened in the last couple weeks of the semester. After my Folly Foley post a bunch of things changed in rapid succession. I got week long extensions for VFX and 3D Modelling, and Sound as I was running out of time and nothing was done. That week (week 12) I attended fewer classes than I had for the duration of the semester. Taylor had his week 12 set out in such a way that it was possible to skip on of his lectures which was a huge help. That Friday (19th of October) I felt somewhat down as it would’ve been great to have pretty much everything done by then, but I kept trudging on. 

In the days leading up to our group’s transmedia pitch I mostly worked on my other stuff but made sure to stay in contact with Paris and Hunter. We had a final meeting not long before the pitch, either in week 12 or 13, and settled on what we were going to do and then left it until the day of the pitch. They both wanted to use a script to be sure everything would fit in, but at the time I was against the idea almost entirely. In retrospect it wasn’t as bad as I thought it would be, and they both did a fantastic job. All in all our pitch went super well, Kevin loved the ideas presented, provided good feedback (as usual), and we managed to score an A+. What a relief! 

I seem to remember that i finished SND at some point earlier than VFX or 3DM but i could be remembering that wrong. In fact as I type this I can remember standing in 1D12 alone in the dark playing through our movie soundtrack over the projector and loud speakers to make sure our levels weren’t fucked on the night before I was due to hand it in. In retrospect, my time management was completely fucked! But I got it to a point where I was satisfied with everything in the ProTools project. I cleaned it up, prepared a package, and had it on a USB ready for 11AM on Friday the 26th. I met up with Mereana and Paris, and we headed in to a mixing booth with Neil. He actually really liked it! Another massive relief. There were a couple of details we had put in that no other group had which made us feel good. There were some sounds which we just completely ran out of time to record, but I managed to keep all the sounds we used originating from our own recordings. Some of them sounded strange, but some worked really well and it was satisfying to listen through the completed product. I wrote up a big document with details on all the sounds the night before, and Neil responded to that later with fantastic feedback (as always) and suggested things we could do to improve it. The same thing happened with the Formative assessment, where he even created a new ProTools session with a little tweak he made to one of our sounds. He’s a fantastic teacher. Mereana and Paris were also the best teammates I could’ve had. I failed to show up to so many recording sessions and meetings (for Transmedia too) and they still persisted with me which was really cool of them. They were also great when it came to talking to Neil during our presentation, they made it easy which was the best. Same goes for Hunter and Paris again with Transmedia too. 

After the pitch and sound presentation, it was time to move on to completing VFX and 3D Modelling. I took a short break, then headed over to K3 and set up camp. As expected, K3 was busy as fuck! Many people were in there finishing their stuff, and it wasn’t just first years but some second and third years as well. I remember starting with VFX. It was the one I was finding the hardest at the time as the assessment was so vague, and as a result I hadn’t properly started something which was worthwhile. After a bunch of different prototypes I came up with the idea to create a similar effect to a move by Katara in ATLA where she stops the rain in it’s tracks, creating a dome of water, turning it into sharp ice shards and sending it careening towards a target. I didn’t get quite that far with it, but I ended up creating an interesting effect where a fractured object explodes, the pieces fly into the air but are stopped in their tracks, and then are thrown into the ground. Looking back, it would’ve been fun to expand on with some animation and cinematography but there was no way I could’ve done it all in one day of course! 

By the time I was ready to render I was actually running out of time. To my knowledge K3 closed at 1am so I started creating a manual render farm out of the now empty computers there. I set up 4 computers all running Arnold renders at once doing different portions of the video. It was awesome! To figure out a networked render was the dream but I had no time to figure it out at that moment. I managed to get down to 100 frames left before 11pm when the awesome security guy came along and politely told us that the labs actually close at 11pm and that we really should clear off before then. I stopped my renders just before 11pm, packed all my shit, and cleared off. I was sorta bummed but I wanted to keep going and get this sucker done otherwise it’d get in late. I set up my laptop that I’m writing this on in the coldest part of my room in such a way that allowed for plenty of airflow, and just let it whirr on while I fell asleep. 

By this point I had actually finished 3D Modelling, I ended up creating a hand painted, slightly low poly Toad from the Mario Bros. series. Unlike VFX, I had been working on this model previously so it was mostly creating maps, painting, and rendering while I simultaneously worked on VFX. We were using Quixel to paint and man that program is a pain in the arse! I used to be a staunch defender of it in light of Substance Painter but man at this point I’d go over to Substance any day, Ddo really got on my wick. I managed to complete it and hand it in on time, unlike VFX which I ended up handing in the next day. 

08:55MON22OCT2018: Work on Toad begins...

15:56FRI26OCT2018: The joys of xNormal’s 3D viewer

17:29FRI26OCT2018: The painting is done!

17:38FRI26OCT2018: Sadness from across the room

18:59FRI26OCT2018: A new legend is born from the mind of Marie...

It’s Toadd Howard!!!

Oh shit!!

20:12FRI26OCT2018: Rendering in progress

The last thing I did was write up my individual report for Transmedia on the 27th and... that’s it! First year was done. It felt strange at the time and for at least a month afterwards too. I felt completely devoid of purpose, for a while when hunting for holiday work I felt the same way. I was still hanging out with friends which was what saved me from feeling any worse than I already was. It took me a long while to figure this all out too, it was the end of November when I realised that I have a need to create things constantly otherwise I feel like garbage! I also had the daunting task of moving out the cube ahead of me after all of my uni work was done. I managed to land my new place on the 12th of November and moved in at the end of that week on the 18th. 

Always interesting to see just how much garbage accumulates over the course of a single year.

At some point around the 22nd or 23rd I went and hung about Hayden’s room at the Cube for an entire weekend. We ate junk food for 4 days straight and just sat around doing fucking nothing but playing games and watching shows. It was kinda fun to begin with but it was what finally made me realise that to get myself out of my slump I was in I just had to create and do something. Anything! So I hauled arse out of there and started to make some changes. I stopped looking at social media. It sounds so obvious typing it out but MAN it took a lot of time out of my day. YouTube especially had the potential to scoop hours out of my day. YouTube, Reddit, Twitter, Tumblr, Facebook, and Instagram were all huge time sinks which I removed from my daily schedule. Of course this filled my day with... nothing. Around this time I was lucky enough to come across Lisa Kogawa’s Time Management Stuff when my friend Lauren reblogged it. I decided to use her method to fill my day with a bunch of projects which would keep me creatively busy over the holiday period. 

I went on a spur of the moment trip of Auckland for a week to relax and help me recoup, then as soon as I got back I was into cleaning my Cube apartment. I still hadn’t cleaned anything despite moving all of my shit out and the lease ended on the 8th of December. So both the 7th and the 8th were busy days for me but I got it done in the end, I had held on to my room until the very end and it was sad to see it go. I had many good times there and it was the perfect introduction to Wellington, student life, and university as a whole. 

See you 2F ...

That pretty much brings us to the present, but there are a bunch of photos and videos i found on my phone which I wanted to share here.

10MAY: Digital Video Production in semester 1! My room briefly turned into a studio for our summative assessment. So many people ended up using the Cube for their DVP projects in semester 1 and to an extent those who took Film on Location in semester 2 continued to.

STUURRRRTTT for Computer Animation in semester 1! For context:

24JUN: One of many great views from the windows of 2F

In the process of uploading these photos and videos I actually found out there’s a ton of photos that predate April! It’s probably too many for this one post though, this is long enough! I’ll be waiting until Stream is updated with all of its new course pages to get writing on the impressions and anticipations post for semester one of year two, 2019!

#Y1S2 #Y1 #VFX #3DM #SND #TNT