#this was just a rant. I hate how this comes off as

[slasher-smasher]

More Homelander thoughts

I literally just wrote this RIGHT as I got up this morning. (4 am kill me) this will probably not make sense.

As much as I would love to see Homelander come heh apart during sex, I think that him being introduced to the most simplest concept of skinship or experiencing intimate things that doesn't lead to hard core pound town would have the same devastating impact on him.

Like, ok bare with me and my sleep addled nonsense brain but I would like to just start off with just having him experience some cuddles. Maybe it's early in the relationship (firm believer he is demisexual like me!) and you guys are still getting to know each other and you notice how tired he is viscerally even if he is still plastering that smiley persona. So you offer your lap to rest his head and maybe watch a movie. He might be weary at first but when you start absentmindedly carding your fingers through his hair? Oh man. Everyone KNOWS how that man would melt. Madelyn knew what she was doing with this starved boy.

Next would be a little spicier and—more importantly—fun! I want that man to experience what I call "teenager moments" like pulling him into an empty room just to make out or sneak around maybe into restricted areas for more cuddles and kisses because you know he gets stressed and it's fun to see what you guys can get away with.

Now this is (personally for me) the most important part for him. As I mentioned above, I think skinship for this broken and insecure man would do wonders. The trust in you for him to even consider taking off the top of his suit let alone all of it at the same time would have to be deep.

I think the biggest thing he is sensitive about is his body image. I'd suggest little touches to his neck and maybe sliding your fingers a little under the sleeves of his suit to caress the skin of his wrists and (if you can) forearms bit by bit to get him used to having not only the feeling of other parts of him being touched but to know that you WANT to explore other parts of him. That you are not just there for self satisfaction and want to make HIM feel good. You want to feel his warm flesh under your hands —the beat of his heart, not the pads of the faux muscle that Vaught wants people to think he has.

This is that part where you would combine the intimacy of making out and cuddles with the extra step of removing an article of clothing. He would feel much better when you also remove your clothing. He hates feeling vulnerable.

With Vought shoving unrealistic media and propaganda down his throat since infancy, Homelander would immediately think naked = sex but you would have to convince him that you are not expecting sex. You have to show him that just feeling the skin of your partner against yours can be just as intimate.

You could be in his lap or vice versa and he would marvel in the sensation of having your chest pressed against his with no thickly padded barrier. Moaning into your mouth as you slid your hands down his shoulders and back.

This would be so cathartic for him. He was always expected to give and provide and act a certain way but with just the two of you sitting on the couch or bed, caressing each others skin. Finding small things like his ribs being sensitive or just enjoying the warmth and scent of your naked skin. He doesn't have to worry about fulling expectations. You love him.

Expect tears and sad little whimpers. This man needs a full blown naked cuddle session.

Sorry if this is just random ranting that makes no sense. I had to get this out or I would be consumed.

#i wrote this at 4 am and I DIDNT EVEN NOTICE I DIDNT POST IT #i just want back to bed because im fucking tired and its my day off #random robyn thoughts #homelander #the boys amazon #difference between lust and intimacy #i just wanna give him a massage and have him melt into a puddle ok? #homelander fanfiction #homelander headcanons #homelander x reader

[spielzeugkaiser]

hi, first off i really love your art. the h/c and warmth really hit me where i live and your illustration style is fantastic. lately i've been obsessed with the post where an unwell milek thinks geralt will leave him behind. was that an ingrained insecurity, assuming his super-witcher dad wouldn't have time for a sickly human kid?

[MASTERPOST] - Ahh, thank you for the ask! Yes, this scene.. I actually saw this a bit differently! It's not about Milek fearing Geralt will leave him behind, he actually wants him to. They need to find his Pa!! I think he often feels like a burden; Jaskier knows this, but Geralt isn't aware of this yet. Milek just wants to pull his weight, especially with Jaskier. A little sneak peak to their struggles regarding this:

Meanwhile Jaskier continues to struggle with his omega status.

#jaskier #the witcher #geraskier lovechild #julian alfred pankratz #omegaverse #there are various things happening here! a. Milek never really had to fear that Jaskier would leave him he knows he never ever would #b. Jaskier said again and again that he'll always care for him and loves him and that he doesn't have to pull any weight at all #c. Jaskier actually became the parent that just wants his kid to be educated and study and learn #(maybe because he knows Milek won't be able to do hard labour but also because he knows what Milek really wants to do) #(filed under: things I haven't drawn yet but they had their big fallout because of oxenfurt and university - things to come in the future) #d. Milek has watched Jaskier working his ass off in various jobs that he didn't like #(and he thinks that prostitution is the worst but only because they didn't properly talk about it before) #e. Jaskier is struggling with how he is percieved - which I think was never that much on his mind when he was travelling with Geralt #being a carefree bard and giving everyone the middlefinger who had some wrong ideas about what he could do and what not #but this is definitely an AU in which he doesn't have a good relationship with his father and he can still hear him say he'll become #'an unbonded omega with a bastard child working on the streets' and I think sometimes it gets to him #(because Jaskier is king of hating his parents ever being right about him) #that Jaskier kind of wants to spare Milek and quietly hopes we won't become an omega - even if he feels bad about it - shall become plot #(one dayyyy) #anyway that was a very long rant about Mileks complex relationship with him feeling like a burden

[just-a-little-hater]

most anime: animation generally gets better with later seasons as it gains popularity and get more funding and the studios can pay more animators

jojo: yeah honestly idk where this one went wrong

#ofc I don't want to hate on the artists working on the newer seasons and this is just my personal opinion #but I was looking at some phantom blood screenshots and remembered how disappointed I was when I first saw the animation in stone ocean #and I just really don't know what happened it is so much worse especially in the last batch of episodes #like sure phantom blood had some rough frames but come on gray silhouette for background characters? #and the characters were often so off model #it all went downhill from the floating pattern on bucciarati's suit #honestly idk what brought this rant an old wound has suddenly reopened I guess #jojo #jjba #jojos bizarre adventure

[floofysmallbob]

I was scrolling Pinterest and I kept finding panels from the manga of Neito getting knocked out. Him being overdramatic doesn’t give anyone an excuse to knock him out and drag him by the collar. He gets karate chopped to the back of the neck so frequently no one blinks an eye at the fact that he is getting punched by someone who is strong enough to crush tungsten with just her fists. Also, he only acts overdramatic around Class A, his classmates know he’s not like that all the time, and it would be fine to just drag him away while he’s still conscious. It’s one thing when he’s saying things like the whole “Bakugou caused the downfall of all might” to provoke people, or when he’s fighting dirty, but when he’s just getting carried away laughing manically, there’s zero reason to knock him unconscious and drag him across the floor.

#neito monoma #monoma neito #monoma appreciation post #stop making him such a terrible person #also I feel like kendo x monoma is a bit toxic #or like off? #idk how to word it #but she clearly doesn’t enjoy his antics and he probably doesn’t enjoy being interrupted via a karate chop to the back of the neck #also if you hate him please just check out the mha wiki it might not be 100% canon but it makes him seem less one dimensional #that’s my emotional support twink and if I can help it he’ll be your emotional support twink too #idk I just really like him he’s such a crazy bitch but in the best way #bnha monoma #monoma mha #mha monoma #monoma bnha #monomaneito #neitomonoma #also knocking him out is meant to be funny? #like haha overdramatic theatre kid is going on his rant and then gets knocked out how funny because no one likes his screeching #idk I just got a bit peeved #does anyone actually say peeved #but like come on

[renee-mariposa]

I’m ready to walk out of my job.

The last straw was, this week they cracked down on overtime. This was the last straw for two reasons:

1. Normally (pre-COVID), our patient volumes are lowest in summer. This year, we’re having winter-flu-season patient volumes (flu season is always the busiest time in the hospital). We now have the second busiest ER in the metro, seeing hundreds of patients per day (we’ve reached a thousand per day several times this year!!!) in a 25-bed ER. This is coupled with the fact we’re operating at 30-50% (a third to a half!!) normal nurse staffing, and have been doing so since 2021. There isn’t a staff member in the hospital who is twiddling their thumbs for a second. I heard tonight that the hospital is trying to end all their contracted labor early (and I assume we’re relying heavily on contracted nurses to fill staffing shortages!)

2. Because of this patient load vs low staffing, it is literally impossible for us to finish all the tasks we are assigned each day. But we still have to meet our metrics and are chastised/penalized when we don’t meet them! Worsening the situation: instead of asking each ‘problem’ staffer why they’re always clocking out late, my department management emailed all the problem people with “suggestions on how to leave on time”. Suggestions that are bullshit because they don’t address the actual reason the person gets overtime consistently.

So this whole perfect storm is coming together to convince me that corporate expects us to work off the clock. Which I’m about 95% sure is fucking illegal.

#it’s been a long time since I’ve been this angry #I feel helpless and trapped #we need to go on strike but I don’t know how to get the nurses involved #our sister hospital just kicked out their nurses union :( #I quiet quit months ago #now I’m fucking ready to riot #the corporation lost a lawsuit about 15 years ago regarding making people come back from lunch #and not paying them for that time #denying their lunch break #I got some money out of that suit #I want the corporation to pay for this insult through the fucking nose #and also denying staff COVID boosters #but that’s a whole different rant #I fucking hate this place #I need a new job but I don’t know where to go #and this corporation owns half of the hospitals in the city #I will fucking walk out of my job before I work off the clock #is there somewhere I can report this shit??? #I can’t believe they’re getting away with this

[gutz-radio]

Anytime I see a post about how Izzy hands deserved what happened to him or how it was totally justified for Ed to be a horrible person to him I get so damn angry. I get so angry and I need to just speak my mind at how angry it makes me.

To me, Ed in season two has shown abusive behaviours. Plain and simple. He has shown a pattern to physically assaulting Izzy. One toe is a single instance, but two more is a pattern. He tells Izzy if he doesn't do what he wants he is easily replaceable. And it isn't just abuse to Izzy. It's the whole crew. He's horrible to all of them. They're all scared of him. The scene where Ed is talking about the vibe on the ship shows me no one at all is comfortable around him.

I love Ed as a character don't get me wrong. I relate to him in parts, mostly how he can't handle his feelings and how messy it is and his self hatred. And also the abuse he faced. I love Ed. But to just close your eyes and slap hands over your ears and go lalalalala at all the shit he's done but then put all the blame on Izzy angers me. Yes, I'm not gonna deny Izzy fucked up. He is toxic as hell to Ed as well, and I never justify the stuff he did because it was bad. But never, ever, does that justify being abused. The only person responsible for how Ed has treated everyone is Ed himself. Ed isn't a fucking toddler who doesn't comprehend what he's doing. He's a grown adult man. Izzy cannot force him to do shit. At the end of the day, the only person who has a choice to what to do is Ed himself. Yes, Izzy was horrible to Ed when he was the most vulnerable. He said vile stuff, and kicked him down when he was weak. And that is shitty and the blame for Izzy's own actions is on Izzy. But the same goes for Ed. Ed chose to hurt the crew, and he chose to hurt Izzy. This was all his choice. No one forced him to do anything. Outside factors all contribute to it, yes, and it all worsened his mental state. But it is still his fault. And as far as I'm concerned, Ed owes the crew and izzy a MASSIVE fucking apology and a hell of a lot of change. Izzy realised what he said to Ed was wrong. He knows he fucked up. He tells Stede as much. But Ed is also at fault and I'm pissed how people keep just acting like he had no say in it whatsoever and he was purely at the mercy of his fucking subordinate.

Personally? I hate how serious discourse is in this fandom and this is a fictional show and I don't treat fictional characters like real people. But the victim blaming, and the blatant hypocrisy of how people treat Izzy compared to Ed angers me. Either they all suck and we should hate them both, or we stop giving a damn and stop blaming characters and harassing people over a fucking FICTIONAL CHARACTER.

#Also ngl Ed's behaviour to Izzy reminds me of my own abuser how he treated me #But I'm not getting to that #This is just a rant #izzy hands #tw abuse #tw abuse mention #Like I'm just so angry because I bet these people would say I deserved the abuse I got because I wasn't a picture perfect uwu victim #And I hate how this fandom treats it #At the end of the day it's a bloody fictional romcom and I didn't come here to see idiots victim blaming a guy who was mutilated #delete later #Ignore my ramblings I just need to get it off my chest before I implode #I know some dumbass is gonna take this wrong and act like I hate ed or some nonsense when I fucking don't

[love-has-a-way-ofgrowingbackward]

everytime i take a tiny triangle out of the cake i made my brother comes in and cuts off a trapezium, making the cut a single clean line. it would be vaguely funny but like i made the thing and like could he not eat it all without leaving some for me

#rant #i guess #it really fucking annoys me how i have to cut off my share in everything that comes in this house ever #like always stay on alert for your food and stash away your share or its gonna be gone by morning #i dont even know why its making me frustrated enough to cry #its just. nice good food has always been a treat and motivator for me and my brother has a habit of always grabbing my share too #it sounds so silly out of context but like. ive had a lifetime of going through a bad tiring day with nothing to look forward to but #a nap and something i like to eat. and always opening the fridge to an empty container #or worse the box is there but then i get in bed with a book and open the damn thing to find half a spoonful inside. #it would be annoying once or twice but its just. all the fucking time. #i hate this survivalistic shit #its not long before i move out thank god but still #he always did it when i was young and my mom hardly ever said anything #like now if i want i can get myself some treats but when i was younger i didnt have much choice. #i havent had the time to bake in two years and prep plus baking the layer cake took two days. i put so much work in it. #and he ate half of it by the time i came back from fucking peeing. i cant even say anything because he gets fucking angry and aggressive #at the drop of a hat so im. crying in my room about it. look my feelings are not as drownable and consuming now. i generally dont #let things like that affect me too much. but i feel so young again and like the entire world is so unfair. i don't know #writing my feelings out on a tumblr blog is so much better than journalling they should recommend this shit in therapy

[ambigrueity]

He CANNOT keep getting away with this.

Finally got around to groovying Trey’s Dorm SSR and please tell me why his voice line kinda—

Like I’m not insane, right? Right? Right???? Please tell me I’m not the only one that looked at this, heard this, and keeled over. Please this isn’t fair. This isn’t fair. This had me up at 2 am staring at my ceiling as I felt the hours slipping by me wondering who the fuck decided it’d be a good idea to make that his groovy voice line. I’m losing my sanity. I cannot sit here and exist a minute without thinking about this line and his magic three voice lines before becoming overcome with desire.

Trey Clover had me at his laugh. He has the cutest laugh ever, he just gets all wheezy in the middle of it and he giggles and there's something so endearing about this 6 foot baker man with forearms sculpted by the gods with a laugh that sounds like pure sunshine. I want to eat his laugh. I want to bottle it up. When he laughs it's like my stress just melts away. It's free therapy. It's depression curing. I want him to have the best life ever so he can keep laughing at silly little things like oyster sauce. Like okay, there's the chuckles he makes when he's amused by something but then there's his pure laughter and that's what I'm talking about here because his chuckles are hot but his laugh, his giggles are the sweetest things in the world, sweeter than the cakes he makes and I would get cavities just listening to it.

BUT NOW HES GOT ME WITH EVERYTHING ELSE. HE BREATHES AND I SIT HERE GOING DELUSIONAL OVER IT, HANDS SHAKING HEART FALLING APART GODS I WISH MEN WERE REAL.

Can we talk about how he slays the green under eye tho? Pop off king, slay, it brings out the gold in your eyes.

#i’m fine i promise #expect me in 2 business days the moment sebeks broomquet comes out #I will be going off about presenter trey #No but someone’s gotta be with me on this right? #I like men with cute laughs so the moment he started laughing at his oyster sauce joke I was like #Oh him! #And then he proceeds to defy my expectations in every way #I adore how he pretends to be normal but he just isn’t #That’s a whole other rant I can make happen #Someday I’ll address the hate towards him instead of my carnal lust #Like you haven’t seen the last of me #disney twisted wonderland #twisted wonderland #twst #disney twst #trey clover #twst trey #I once saw art of him making a sword with paint the roses out of paint #It was so sexy #Like imagine making paint have the texture and sting of metal #I think about that art like twice daily #Also he doesn’t like mustard which shows good genes #Yes this man will survive natural selection

[foxgloveinspace]

*cracks open a starbucks energy drink*

hey guys, I know I've done this like, 80 times, but I'm pretty sure I'm bi with a preference of men. I'll probably still say I'm a gay, but like. just so y'all know.

#very much so #idk coming out is dumb but I thought I'd let y'all know lmao #i mean..... idk... #women pretty. want to hold hand.... men pretty. want to hold hand.... you feel me?? #also have some gender fuckery going on. i am a guy but I don't hate how i look and also I think i don't hate being called a girl and also I #want to look like a girl but also I want to look like a girl who doens't have a hard time passing as a guy when I want to and I also don't #want anyone who knows me to call me a girl I just want my friends and family to call me a guy thanks #also anon is off if your gonna be a t/e/r/f be a t/e/r/f to my fucking FACE you coward! I'm not a girl and I'm not a bi girl (tho i am bi) #I am a bi guy who says fuck gender you here me? #I have had many anons who pissed me off ok?? Anon used to be off on my blog for years and years for a reason lmao #idkkkkkk where this is going tbh.. thanks for reading my rant

[wiiwarechronicles]

Twitches

#i just feel so bad because I genuinely hate how 0wl house/amph1bia look #so every time a friend is like ‘THIS IS WHAT TV ANIMATION SHOULD BE’ I just don’t know what to say… #I’m SORRYYYY… #much more into stuff that’s simpler on a technical level but has better design/acting overall #like. god this is so awful but OH’s aesthetics piss me off so bad WHY DOES IT LOOK LIKE THAT #WHY!!!!!!!! #it comes off as very muddled and directionless #like a different take on the American anime style but I don’t think it really works ? #and amph is a whole other can of worms #their proportions just piss me off lmao #sorry this rant is unrelated to anything I just need to drain this out somewhere #also one of my nicknames irl is ‘king’ (has been for years) so I’m like uniquely pissed off whenever classmates are like #HAH LIKE THE OWL HOUSE GUY #leave me alone……. #maidsmess

[idiaa-shroxd]

YOUR WRITING IS SO PRETTY I COULD EAT IT. YOU CHARACTERIZE THE CHARACTERS SO WELL TOO!!!

thank you so much!! ʕ•ᴥ•ʔ happy you think my writing is very pretty!! and also makes me happy you think my characterization was correct.

when writing for characters always take a bit of extra time to ensure they sound good? thinking about having an actual conversation with them for a minute and what they’d do! ♧ personally a big fan of viginettes since that reveals a lot of a character more than mainstory.

Σ('◉⌓◉’) mini (huge) rant within the tags of the way of my process to understand a character!!

#i’ve been trying to work on characterization with trey for example because in the main story he is relatively nice #but within his viginettes he’s a bit more than that like a slightly smug teaser than boy next door. #the characters tend to have complexity rather than one dimension traits people tend to stick by #which isn’t a bad thing but to start writing it could help kick you off but majority of the time your characters do have many emotions to #aspirations- such as vil being mean BUT that coming with subtle charm of care- he does not derive pleasure from purposefully degrading other #he firmly believes he can see the beauty in everyone if they try and he attempts to get others to apply themselves so they can be pretty #he does not go around like ew you’re ugly go away unless you have a negative attitude like leona who purposefully does not put any effort #but sometimes his pursuit for beauty can go out of hand like with epel or neige but his dorm ssr perfectly illustrates he knows what he does #he does not always explain himself with having epel do heavy lifting which only helps epel improve but he would not tell him this directly #there are other characters i can rant about the way i write. such as sebek being a malleus fanboy #but that was not a central part of his personality to warrant every fic just mentioning malleus each sentence #the best way to learn how to write for him would be looking at his viginette or his event story without tsunotarou!! he is quite a wonderful #-ly designed character but gets overlooked due to his ‘louder’ part of his personality. but he genuinely has captivated me as a character #the best examples for eng players would be during harveston- when he was extremely passionate about what he did with a soft side for his #plush!! he’s a big softie. he’s just very confused because his grandfather openly hates humans. he acknowledges marja and complimented her #he’s not hating humans for no reason but because it was taught to him. he’s trying his best to be what he is but you can tell he is not too #prideful that he would refuse to acknowledge marja just for being a human. in fact in his viginette he HELPS humans with their lumber #though that is technically due to him being confident he can do so compared to a human thanks to being a guard for Malleus but he is quite #happy to be complimented!!-. he is a character with more depth: ceremony viginette next #he tells yuu to just let him handle things since he’s stronger which shows he’s also blunt and says things without thinking about others at #times. but people are MISSING out on fics with sebek yuu and tea bonding over tsunotarou because he has no hostility to those who like #tsunotarou. he is happy to teach!! his other viginette think pe??: lilia tricks him into eating steak with yogurt iirc and he does honestly #it’s disgusting but he trusts lilia and 100% believe the old fae. THE POTENTIAL. authors need to use that?? just lilia messing with him or #how he can sometimes be so gullible you can get him to trust you mixed together with how attached he was to squirrel plush #he’s actually such a cute character. #there’s also Kalim who KNOWS there are bad people. he is not innocent as he knows there are bad people that want him gone #his least favorite food is curry because Jamil got sick for a week after taste testing his food. #Kalim just chooses. he wants to believe the kindness of the world not due to purity but due to the fact he does not want to live in constant #fear. which in itself already makes him more than one dimension. he may seem carefree but there’s room to play with when describing him??… #questions of styx.

[advisorsage]

I keep being told that my grandma's neighbor's son is "weird" and "super autistic" and that I can't possibly be autistic because I never acted like he does. But here's the thing all I see when I watch him is a kid playing in the dirt. Like yeah OK most kids don't do that *nowadays* but like kids do weird shit. I'm told it's hard to talk to him. I assume that they simply aren't approaching him right. He may be shy! I don't care that he's somewhere between 7 and 11 years old he might just not like strangers. That's normal, kid shit. How different from me can he possibly be? He's human. I'm human. He's a child. I was a child. I bet if I talked to him and found out his interests, I could have an easier time talking to him than the people telling me he's "strange" ever could. You just have to know how to interact with kids. It's amazing that I know you talk to them about their interest while actual parents don't when I will freely say I don't want kids. How am I better equipped to treat them like humans? Also, the little boy seems like he's going to grow up and be a perfectly okay person who'll do just fine in whatever field he chooses. I don't know his interests, so I can't say what that'll be, but I'm sure he'll do great.

#please note: i do not hate children i just do not want to bear them #i will however throw hands for any child #like. don't use a child to tell me i can't be autistic and then show me behaviors i remember having #“ooooo he digs in the dirt” fuck off i did that too. that's how a lot of kids play outside #“oooooo he's hard to talk to” yeah he's a kid and you haven't bothered to try to learn his interests. he's probably shy #like guys come on #i know i befriended strangers as a four year old but like i enjoy how people react to things. of course i did that. i thought it was funny #like i was a four year old who knew the weird thermodynamics and looked two.... why wouldn't i amuse myself with that? #this kid doesn't have that ability #he looks his age #so people aren't entertaining #therefor why use them #my siblings didn't befriend adults like i did #i was the most social #like i look at this kid and see my brother so i don't get why everyone keeps telling me he's soooooo different from me #anyway #rant over #some people just don't want to admit to anything i swear

[cinna-bunnie]

bleh

#having a bad morning tbhhhh #i envy the ppl who grew up here :| it's so much easier to make friends when u went to school w ppl and grew up with them #i have been here since 2016 and was just trying to get stability the first 3 years financially/housing-wise. #and when i was Finally ready to start making friends the pandemic happened. #the closest thing I've had to friends were made thru my ex and when we broke up they ghosted me. #to this day i have not made a single genuine friend and i can't articulate how hurtful that is to think about. #and i get excited when i might have a new friend but do the audhd balancing act where i tone myself down so i don't scare them away #but then idk. maybe i just come off as uninteresting or indifferent. idk what the perception of me is bc no one ever tells me anything lol. #i just get ghosted a lot 😭 it's Literally so much easier to find ppl to fuck than it is to find friends. idk why this is so hard but it's #frustrating. everyone has lukewarm interest in me at best and i have so much to offer when I've opened up to someone. #and i can't rly talk w ppl about how I'm feeling. and i can't do anything but keep trying over and over or else i WILL fr have no friends. #it's just. like. I'm not a normal person w normal circumstances and interacting w people who already have a ton of friends and stuff #going on is hard. there's like this burning desire for companionship in u as the person NEEDING it that no one else has #bc they already have it yk? ur just kind of a footnote on everyone's day/week. u don't have that kind of relationship where #u can Just Go Over or just have ppl over. ppl can hang like once a month maybe. i hate it here but also don't want to leave :| #everything is great except trying to make friends. idk i just wanted to vent lol I'm done ranting and might just delete #but this feeling wells up inside me and some days is so hard to ignore 😭 #'i have been here since 2016 and don't have a single genuine Friend' what the fuck 😭😭 #ik that wfh doesn't Help but i wouldn't be able to get anything done in person in my position lol. plus it's less about where ppl are #and more about how relationships (dont) develop past a certain point. #i have someone I've been talking with probs longest out of everyone so far and we're gonna hang this weekend #but I'm also perpetually afraid I'm gonna scare them away or something and be back at square 1 😭 #and idk im afraid that might translate into seeming shy or something and I'd hate for them to lose interest anyways ._. #but idk how much of that is valid vs my brain just being mean to me and paranoid over my other experiences. #anyways... yea thnx for reading if u did. i feel crazy 😮‍💨

[corrine-dartagnan]

i will never forgive the world for deciding freckles are cute and desirable while acne makes you ugly and dirty.

#like they’re both two things on your skin that you have no control over #omg guys acne is soooo in rn like it’s pink freckles!!! #i just hate it so much like having acne for years destroys your self confidence and everyone around you is okay with it bc they look down #ppl w acne + other skin conditions #and not only does it hurt emotionally it also hurts physically. my face bleeds every fucking night after i wash it im SICK OF IT!!!! #if my mom would’ve just let me go on accutane when i first started going to a dermatologist i could have avoided YEARS of suffering #do you wanna know what the worst part is? when you’re having a conversation with your friend and you notice their eyes always drifting #to your acne when you’re talking #it makes me avoid eye contact and i feel bad about that and how it makes me come off as even more shy but at a certain point i just can’t #handle what those glances do to my self esteem 😍 #acne #rant

[nickfowlerrr]

not being able to fit in even with the groups of ppl who don’t fit in lol sometimes it feels like this high school mentality will never end.

#ranting in the tags #not that it matters but i’m sensitive so i’m gonna complain no matter what #being called a loner all your life then turning it into some kind of badge of honor #bc it’s the only way not being able to click with or connect with ppl stings less #it only works for so long. and when it stops working… lol. just kinda sucks ig. #like every negative trait i was told i have is just reinforced bc duh!!! ding ding ding it’s all making sense ofc ppl don’t wanna talk to u! #i don’t talk enough or make a good effort or i talk too much and make no sense or come off as rude #and either way i’m off putting and it just takes too much effort to be around me #it’s like i make peace with these things and then one fucking thing happens and i’m being slammed back to 15 year old bella mentality again #it’s so exhausting and i’m so tired of being upset that i’m not good at like being a normal functioning fucking person #and ppl try and connect with me but i just give absolutely nothing in return bc i don’t know how to!!! #genuinely like how do ppl just talk to each other? how do you all have friends and make it look so easy and natural #like it’s obviously probably easy and natural bc it’s supposed to be and for some reason i just like… can’t? #okay. whatever #doesn’t matter anyway i’ll go on living #just hate being sad over this. it feels so lame lol. #oscillating between self obsession and self pity every two weeks or so i’m actually so fucking over it hahaha #but it’s cool. i’m cool. rant over 😚 #bella complains

[pagesofkenna]

I get really annoyed when people talk about dancing as if, like, those of us who aren't dancing wish we were and are just too cowardly to get out on the dancefloor

like, people will talk about old high school dances and just casually mention 'and those loser kids standing by the wall because they're afraid of looking foolish if they come out and dance like the rest of us'. they'll talk about the people at a club who arent dancing 'because they're allergic to having fun' (as if watching people dancing isn't loads of fun??)

(I also get annoyed at people trying to decide if other people are having fun or not for them, but that's a different rant)

It bugs me for a number of reasons, the least of which being that the same people will make fun of bad dancers! people whose dancing just consists of head bobbing or elbow shaking! they really will say 'you should be embarrassed about being ashamed' and 'you should be embarrassed about not being ashamed' in the same breath!

but the main reason this annoys me is because, straight up, I do not know how to dance. not 'I dont know cool dances' I mean when the music starts playing I do not know how to move my body in any way that is pleasurable. I don't feel the beat coursing through me and feel I must move to it. I can't move to the beat if I tried (I suck at DDR). I can mimic dance moves (poorly, ill-timed) and it just feels like an exhausting aerobics exercise

group or partner dances can be fun, because there's pleasure in a attempting a group challenge, but I don't dance for myself. I never danced alone in my bedroom as a kid; I never do that as an adult. I'm not embarrassed, it's just not an instinct for me! I assume it is for other people but not me!

it's like people are acting like I'm too embarrassed to bake bread or something!! sure I can (poorly) if called upon but if it's just for me I don't want too?? I don't care about baking bread?? I don't care about dancing??

And the addendum to this that I love singing so much and I'm way too embarrassed to do it in front of people. you wanna talk about an 'instinctual human act of expression that people are suppressing out of cowardice??' I love driving because it's the only time I can sing as loud as I want without being afraid of people hearing me! I don't even sing that loudly when I'm home alone because I'm afraid my neighbors will hear me! but I will belt my heart out on a solo car trip and it's so cathartic!!!

I know what it's like to be 'not good' at an act of expression and thereby too embarrassed to do it in front of others! and dancing is not it! and I get so pissed whenever a fictional character is shamed for 'not wanting to dance' and then they do anyways and they enjoy it; I've been forced to dance many times growing up and I never enjoyed it! it's boring!! I legitimately enjoy watching y'all do it instead! shame me for hiding my bad voice instead!!

#and there's no way for me to adequately convey how frustrating this is without sounding like I think about this WAY too much #and people think i doth protest too much #the truth of the matter is i just hate being judged for not wanting to dance #and i hate people trying to tell me what i'm feeling (and ofc being so off the mark about it) #I'm getting flashbacks to kids in highschool saying 'youre not having fun come join us' bc like. WOW ok i WAS having fun #but nevermind how /I/ feel I guess???? #I have since learned that dancing while others are just standing there will. like. kill the fun for the people dancing?? #i would give a damn if people didn't always frame it as me ruining their fun because i'm too scared to have fun of my own #anyway. i drafted the original version of this post so long ago this has just been a rant ive been holding on to