#this was meant to be a broad strokes headcanon post. how'd it end up like this

[backseatloversz]

a lot of kids at henley hall are queer.

this doesn't take long for neil to learn, cause they all seem pretty open about it. and those who aren't, well, they don't seem to care. and -- its not that neil doesn't trust his friends, but he does find it much easier to come out to these kids than the friends he made at a catholic all-boys boarding school. you know ? someday.

anyway. the friends he makes in theater do end up being massive part of him coming to terms with/accepting the fact he's gay, and it's not long before he starts telling them about todd. nervously, at first, but they love to gently tease him about it and they only barely tone it down once neil does start dragging him along to rehearsals.

the first day, todd's content to shyly say hello to all of neil's friends then sit around and watch, but he gets more comfortable chatting with them as coming along becomes more normal. some days its just cause he likes the environment (and being close to neil) and he'll busy himself reading or writing or studying, while on others he helps out wherever he can or laughs along with kids messing around. and of course he still loves to simply watch neil, see how long he can stay focused and in his element before breaking and meeting todd's eyes, turning red and grinning back.

eventually neil's friends wear him down, joking that they're sick of listening to and seeing his pining when it's so obvious that todd likes him back, so he promises he'll confess the night of their first performance. after. if he doesn't forget, and if he's not too tired. it's not a perfect plan, but nobody lets the general excitement over the show (and for neil, neil's first show!!) overshadow forgetting about his promise. they keep reminding him, tonight. you're gonna tell him tonight. remember? right? and he brushes them off, blushing, yeah, yeah, now don't miss your cue.

the show goes well (mr perry never finds out about it), and after a few minutes of celebrating, one of his friends nudges neil. everyone's leaving. go back with your friends, this is your chance. so neil says he's gonna go, tells everyone they did amazing and accepts his last round of praise before rushing out to find his friends. it takes a couple minutes, and he almost turns around to just ask someone else for a ride back, but then he hears it. neil! neil, you did great! neil, over here! and he spots charlie, and keating and todd and everyone else. they all seem to be buzzing with just as much excitement as he is, talking over each other to give him praise. keating eventually gets to pull him aside and say his thing, before giving him permission to rejoin his friends and walk back to the school.

a few minutes into the walk, as they get further away from the crowd, a calm sort of silence falls over everyone, and neil finds himself falling back, walking beside todd. his heart is practically racing out of his chest, his promise echoing in his mind. their hands keep brushing, and neil deliberately bumps their shoulders together, making todd laugh. you did great, by the way. he eventually says. sorry, i'm sure that's all you've heard tonight, but - but really. it's cause it's true. and neil can't help but smile. thanks. it- it means a lot, coming from you. he responds. and what he wouldn't give to stay in that moment forever -- snow falling, their friends ahead laughing, not noticing the two that've fallen behind. todd looking at him like that. and suddenly he realizes they've stopped walking all together, and now they're just standing, waiting for someone to make the first move.

neil is about to, about to keep his promise, but todd beats him to it. by the way, um. i like you, neil. i like you a lot.

and any ounce of fear or doubts washes away when neil doesn't miss a beat, grabbing his hand and saying, good. i like you, too.

they both smile again, and walk back in a comfortable silence, hand in hand.

once they get back to their dorms and have taken off their jackets and shoes, todd only hesitates for a second before kissing neil. once chastely, still nervous, just to see how he'd react. and then neil's smiling, so he kisses him again, hands coming up to neil's face, feeling him smile.

maybe they chat a bit more, giddy and still awake from the adrenaline and cold, or maybe they're tired and promise to talk the next day. regardless, it doesn't take long the next time neil sees his theater friends for him to admit, no, he's not just excited about the show, todd beat him to it and todd likes him back and todd kissed him. todd kissed him! there's a chorus of genuine congratulations, and then of course the teasings of you broke your promise, you took too long!! he beat you to it!? and i told you! i knew he liked you back. but neil doesn't mind, neil doesn't mind at all because he finally thinks, this is it. this is where i want to be.

#bon apetit #the start/overall pacing of this is ROUGH i know im sorry</33 #i just needed 2 get this out of my system maybe someday i'll clean it up n post it as a fic to ao3 #i did not mean for this to be so LONG WLADJSLKF #ok thats enough rambling #neil perry #todd anderson #fuck it im tagging everyone i want this 2 b SEEN #charlie dalton #knox overstreet #gerard pitts #stephen meeks #richard cameron #john keating #anderperry #dead poets society #fanfic #dps headcanons #this was meant to be a broad strokes headcanon post. how'd it end up like this #many thoughts head full! #long post #cowboy posts