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insidefernweh · 1 year

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Well, hello.

A couple months ago one silly woman (me) decided that it’s time for creativity to take a hold of her and let something cool into this world.

And that’s how I decided to give birth to…a The Amazing Devil blanket. Or I might have dreamed it whilst being feverish. Who knows.

It’s been three months of stitching, embroidering, sewing, unmaking the mistakes, cursing, saying ‘waahheeey’ at the end of the complete step, cursing again and enjoying the hell out of the process of something being made into the realness.

It is literally the embodiment of me. I love it and hate it equally. It has got my favourite quotes from the songs. Yes, that’s me — your favourite girl with maelstrom of lyrics instead of a brain. It also has got some of my blood somewhere along the stitches (did i do it on purpose to please the fae gods aka Joey and Madeleine? you’ll never know. hashtag blood magic.) I wanted to get it done for the Ruin Appreciation Week (though it contains lyrics from all albums) so that was me last week because it was very FAR from being done:

I’m posting the bigger picture + close ups of smaller details and songs’ lyrics. Please feel free to reach out if you want to see a better close up or just to pat me on the head.

I’m posting a video too. It’s silly so enjoey. (ha! see what I did here. that was a typing accident. it’s 1am now. forgive me my jokes.)

warning: the video include some probably offensive actions to the professional seamstresses. i’m only a humble ignorant person who decided to sew for the first time in her life. i do hope you’ll like it.

references used:

the central embroidery: TAD’s old picture from some posters back in the love run era + some sage and forget-me-nots

top right and left bottom corners: pictures of joey and madeleine

songs: secret worlds, the calling, inkpot gods, drinking song for the socially anxious, chords, farewell wanderlust, not yet/love run (reprise), that unwanted animal, battle cries, elsa’s song, wild blue yonder

UPD: A few of you have been asking about the quotes I used on my blanket/quilt and why I chose them so here I am:

If you ask me for my fire, just watch me burn — you know what, I recently started to interpret this line in a positive way? It was a recent thing I understood about myself. I always thought I was good at working/doing things well in the long run, when you have to do it patiently and for years but in my journey of self-discovery I realized that in reality I’m much better as a sprinter — someone who does an incredible job while being under the vast amount of pressure and when you need to do it in a restricted period of time; I will give all of myself to this project/work, every bit of passion I have, every bit of patience. So yeah. If you ask me for my fire — just watch me burn. But then I’ll hibernate for a month.

Can’t you hear it howling? — OKAY HANDS DOWN PROBABLY MY FAVOURITE LYRICS/MELODY SECTION FROM THE WHOLE RUIN ALBUM. Even not the part that is sung by Madeleine, but the back voices Joey’s harmonies sing in the final chorus at 4:28 and till the end. OOOOH WHY SO GOOD.

If I don’t make it back from where i’ve gone just know I loved you all along — this is such a beautiful closing of the song. also such a tormenting thought. i love it.

Such endless blue — I’ve always been drawn to the dark blue colours, especially when I paint. I always run out of the blue watercolour because contrary to this song, it’s not endless :D I’m manifesting an abyss of blue watercolour for myself here lol

You say the words so often but I barely know the meaning — okay so Elsa’ Song is primarily pretty heartbreaking right? The more heartbreaking part being that it is sung as a lullaby. Who didn’t have that moment when the meaning of the words you’re saying slips through your fingers just because you said them too often? Who didn’t have that sad awakening moment of losing trust in a person just because they always promised something and never did it?

After summers of fasting I feel hunger at last — I’ve been thinking about tattooing this quote for quite a while now. It reminds me of my depressive state which very often returned to me in summer and every time it slowly creeped away, I felt the hunger for life in the early autumn. Every time felt like an eternity.

Is nought but fumble-falls and guns and tumbleweeds, love, run — my favourite quote from the superior use of the English language that is that section in Love Run. I am in love with it. All the phonetic twirls makes me shiver sometimes.

Well, hello my hollow Holofernes — ALLITERATION SUPREMACY!!

I’ll sing silence and ask my glass of wine for guidance — i love to sit at home alone and stare into my glass. it doesn’t answer though. what about it. and again — to sing silence? OXYMORONS GIVE ME THEM

Go tell me how we fucked you up and oh my god, it’s so unfair — ah. the hardship of parenting/teaching. I was there, I remember it all too well.

Let’s us waltz for the dead — the oxymoronic style of this line IS JUST A CHEF’S KISS. WALTZ? VERY SOPHISTICATED THING? FOR THE DEAD? NOT THAT PLEASANT TYPE OF A THING? mister batey let me boop you affectionately on the nose you are so clever.

#the amazing devil #joey batey #madeleine hyland #embroidery #ruinanniversary2022

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aperiodtm · 5 months

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Familiar | Sim Jake

PAIRING: (ex)online bestfriend!Jake x (ex)online bestfriend!fem!reader

SUMMARY: Jake was just walking around during a live, through a village, talking to engenes when he sees someone..

GENRE: mostly angst and sad

WC: 720

A/N: took me long..backstory (of jake and y/n being friends) is based on real experience! made it up bc i was sad ab my own online bestfriend leaving me :') i am coping

also jake looks so fine- >>>

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It had been a few days, Jake decided to go Lebanon to spend some time there for fun. and hopefully find you

He couldn't stop thinking about it as he walked through a quiet village, talking to engenes on his live about you "You know, my online bestfriend was originally from a village, and it looked so beautiful, she'd send me pictures of her place time to time" he'd cheerfully talk about you to his fans, although the bittersweet memories played in his head.

over and over again.

[you know, you're always making everyone smile. please remember that everyone also means you]

those were the best words you ever said to Jake. you always encouraged him. you both would talk for hours, no problem. he got so used to you, so attached to you, even if you were a person he'd text after school, while eating, watching something, everything.

Jake saw you as his bestfriend. and soon, more than that.

but he never told you.

[i swear, you have to visit around here! id take you around the whole country, just come for a day]

it's what you talked about half the time. Jake even promised you that one day, he would. and so he worked for it. for his bestfriend.

but just two years of friendship, and you had suddenly disappeared. you stopped talking, till one day Jake realized you blocked him. why? he didn't know, and he tried approaching you on the other socials you two followed each each other on. he found one you used once a week, so he tried.

[hey, are you okay?]

[sorry, but don't talk to me please.]

that was the last message he got from you before..

{you cannot message this account as this user has blocked you}

blocked. his last means of talking to you. gone. he couldn't believe it. did you hate him? did you get caught talking to him? he knew your family was strict, considering your religious background.. but why only him?

he checked your followers, following and all. there was only a difference of one account in every one. him. you had only blocked him. you only cut ties with him. no-one else. no other online friend. only him. but why?

Jake spent days overthinking about it, what if this was a prank? what if she's hiding something? will she be back?

it had been 5 years, till today, but no. you were gone. out of his life. and that broke him. completely. he didn't let it change who he was, but the small dwelling of you in his heart stung him time to time.

and today he walking along the very path, in the very country, the very place he promised you about, years ago..

but he looked up, and smiled, to stay happy. for his fans, for you.

as he continued his little walk, he saw..a person?a girl?.. strange. Jake walked through this path a few time to make sure nobody (or a crazy fan) would interrupt his live. what's this girl doing here?

that's when he panicked. the girl was walking towards him. shit, he thought. what if it was some crazy ass?

but he was met with surprise, as she got closer, those hazel eyes..the long, straight hair..could it be?....could it really be..her?

he was interrupted from his thoughts when he heard her speak "oh my god, Jake? from Enhypen? i love your music so much!"

"haha thank you, what's your favourite song and album?" he was glad she wasn't an obsessed fan.

"definitely shout out. you did great work on that!.. well, i need to go, have a great day!" and she walked off. quite respectful of her to know the boundaries. Jake could see the comments flood with how pretty you are, but he had one thing in mind. something he wouldn't want to let engenes know yet because he wasn't sure, but,

even your voice..it was..familiar??

he looked back, and you were walking. he was torn between ending his live and talking to you to figure if it was really you, or walking ahead, knowing that maybe the universe had decided that not even both your friendship was meant to be.

but what if, just what if, for once, he broke the rules of fate, of destiny? just what if....

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END!

well, i am an asshole. but im quite proud of this one! should i continue for a part 2? in a dilemma rn to make it angsty or fluff (or maybe 2 separate endings?)

please like, follow, share! and dont forget to give feedback, it helps alot!! <3

thank you!

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harrietbarnesblog · 2 months

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You're losing me

Masterpost

Masterlist

Pairing: Seungmin x reader

Warning: cheating (suggestive), arguments, wounds, crying, my shitty ass writing

It's very common to have arguments in a relationship. But what if the relationship is nothing but arguments. Sometimes some funny shit would turn into a serious argument between you and Seungmin.

You loved him so much you never thought of leaving him even though you two argue way too much for a regular couple.

“I don't understand, y/n” he said furiously.

“I know you don't.”

“I thought everything was fine.”

“Leave me alone for a few minutes.”

He left the room. The room was bright with light. You once used to adore this room. It used to be yours and his favourite room. Now looking at it you feel tortured. You reach for the string of LED lights hanging on the wall. You rip it out and throw it and slide down the wall crying.

Last week you and Seungmin had another argument over a girl. He liked her post and claimed it was an accident. But he also texted her. How can that be an accident too? He said, “you are reading too much into things, y/n.” You apologised. “Will we be alright?” you asked him. “Yes, my love.” he kissed your forehead and held you in his arms.

Next you woke up with a blaring headache. Seungmin wasn't next to you where he usually was to be when you usually wake up. You heard someone laugh from outside your room. You went outside to see who it was. It was Seungmin on the call with someone. He wasn't talking much but he was being loud in a sense.

“Can you keep it quiet? I have a headache.” You told him. He just nodded.

“We can add that song in the next album because it doesn't suit this album's aesthetics.” He spoke into the phone. You assumed he was talking to Chan.

You sat on the sofa next to him massaging your temples. You felt like you wanted to cry. Seungmin was fiddling with an empty glass vase in his hands. It was usually filled with flowers that he would buy for you. But he had stopped buying you anything at all. He would come home late and leave early to the studio. His hands accidentally slipped and the vase shattered on the floor. A small piece pierced your leg. You hissed in pain and started to cry. Seungmin didn't notice you crying yet. Still on the phone. He said, “ one second, hyung. I'll be back.”

He picked up the bigger pieces of glasses with his hand and disappeared into the kitchen. He came back with a broom and a plastic cover. It was now he noticed you crying.

“Darling, what happened?” you glared at him with storms in your eyes. Your eyes were filled with anger and pain.

You said nothing. You stood and walked away from there into the bathroom. You picked the glass piece from your leg and washed it till the blood stopped. You took some ointment and applied it and put a bandaid on it. You took a painkiller tablet and went to sleep.

When you woke up he wasn't there. There was no note, nothing just emptiness.

That was a week but still you can't help but relive through that memory.

You were dying internally but he couldn't take a hint of that when you bite down your nail and be silent in his existence. The love between you two was dying. You were sick of it. But he wasn't ready to admit it.

At the table near you was a photo of you and him. You picked in your hands and smashed it against the wall. You picked it again and traced his face. You didn't know what to do.

“I'm sorry.” He said standing at the room's doorway.

“Sorry won't cut it out, Seungmin.”

“Give us one last chance. Please.”

“You're losing me, Seungmin. Can't you feel it” the air was thick with loss and indisposition.

“We dated for 10 years. We have known each other since birth. I can't lose you, y/n.”

“All you are saying is you don't wanna lose but I never hear from you how much you love. All my friends are engaged after months of dating. I dated you for 10 years and I got nothing out of it. You ignore me all the time. I'm right in front of you and I still feel invisible. we are far gone to bring back to life. It's like I'm fighting in your army in the frontline but you won't address me.”

“So you are saying all of this because I didn't put a ring on your finger.”

“God it's not that. It's about taking our relationship to the next level.”

“Exactly getting married.”

“Okay fine it is one of the causes. Did you think I won't be a good wife?”

He kept silent.

“I understand. I won't marry me either.” you conceded.

“It's not that I won't marry you. It's just that…. I..umm…”

“Seungmin do something. Say something. Risk something. I have nothing to lose unless you are choosing me.” You pleaded.

“I don't love you anymore y/n. That's the truth. But I want you in my life like the friend you once you used to be.”

“ I can't do that, I'm sorry. I'm leaving.” You said.

You picked a suitcase and packed all your clothes. He didn't try to stop you or anything. He just let you go.

#seungmin #seungmin x reader #seungmin x you #seungmin x y/n #stray kids x reader #skz x reader #skz #skz x you #Spotify

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foxes-that-run · 6 months

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Fine line

Fine Line is layered, both vulnerable and brave, closing an album about the highest highs and lowest lows.

youtube

To NPR Harry said "Fine Line" was written in tour gap in January 2018 in LA. This was a few weeks after the End Game video was released and while Harry was still dating Camille.

Harry was very emotional performing MMIH and Sweet Creature in the weeks after, till July when he seemed happier. TS got to the US the day before that last link.

To Zane Lowe Harry said Golden and Fine Line were the first songs written for the album. (22:30) he knew they were the first and last.

Harry has said it is his favourite on the album (32 mins), yet it is played live sporadically, it was dropped in 2022 when Harry's House came out, but reappeared for May - July 2023 shows. The live performances vary, some are somber, the one above in NY he smiles on crisp temptation and not all have the last line, ending with 'Thank you (city)' instead.

Mitch told LA magazine he learnt from Harry "The songs are all snapshots [of my life] but nothing's in order." It and Golden being written before Cherry and Falling helps inform the inspiration.

Lyrics

[Verse 1] Put a price on emotion I'm looking for something to buy You've got my devotion But man, I can hate you sometimes I don't want to fight you And I don't want to sleep in the dirt We'll get the drinks in So I'll get to thinking of her

The first verse tells of feeling emotionally numb and desperate to feel. He loves the muse but it is fraught, such as a significant ex. In other songs like Grapejuice and Kiwi Harry describes this tension with 'pay for it' in both a pleasurable and emotionally costly way. Pay for it is possibly a reference to the Liner notes for All you had to Do as stay “they paid the price” AYTDWS is a pivotal song for Harry, he has a tattoo that references it and has used it in many lyrics including As it was.

'I don't want to fight you, but don't want to sleep in the dirt', is sung so gently it's palpable, you can hear the past hurt. To me, the last line is referring to his then girlfriend in Cherry and Falling.

[Chorus] We'll be a fine line (x6)

The fine line is between acceptable and not, being in love and risking being hurt and friendship and infidelity.

[Verse 2] Test of my patience There's things that we'll never know You sunshine, you temptress My hand's at risk, I fold Crisp trepidation I'll try to shake this soon Spreading you open Is the only way of knowing you

The second verse builds with tension. Harry is tempted by his muse, wanting her. Harry often describes his muse in terms of being ethereal, in the sky or here as Sunshine (Golden, Sunflower Vol 6, Olivia - Sunshine and Butterflies).

He gives into temptation, with the wonderful lyric of crisp trepidation of the point of touching someone he wants. When he sings he will ‘shake this soon (shake it off) is a similar lyric to Meet me in the Hallways “I gotta get better”

Spreading you open is the only way of knowing you is a lyric that shows both sexual and emotional hunger for the muse. They are not good at being just friends. Many of Harry's lyrics expand on wanting deeper connection.(tongue tied in Two Ghosts and Sunflower Vol 6) or not speaking enough. (Sign of the Times). Referring to Taylor Swift, Harry has said he can put into song what he can't in words.

[Chorus] We'll be a fine line (x11) We'll be alright We'll be alright We'll be a fine line We'll be a fine line We'll be alright (Alright, alright, alright)

In the final chorus the music and his voice builds with we'll be a fine line, deciding to continue navigating the friendship. Finally the music reaches a great crescendo and the lyric changes to we'll be alright.

DBTC also ends with Taylor asking if it will be alright and the response is I don’t know.

Fine Line's "We'll be alright" is similar to and WITW "And I know we'll be alright, child" and Sign of the Times "Just stop your crying / It'll be alright"

#fine line harry styles #haylor #harry styles #fine line album #fine line

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seidenbros · 2 years

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Eddie Munson Headcanons - Late 20s Edition

Slightly nsfw here and there, just some things in my head that came up while plotting for fics and stuff

He may have moved into his own apartment, but he visits uncle Wayne at least three times a week to make sure that he's doing alright and eats properly (and because he misses him, but shh)

He’s really good with kids, and an excellent babysitter for his friends. He talks on eye level with them and with his imagination, he’s the best at telling stories. He can captivate a whole group of little kids with these stories. He’s the nice version of the Pied Piper, because children just flock to him - and of course he answers all their questions about his tattoos and his wild hair.

He wants kids himself, always has, he’s just too scared that he will end up like his own father (cue The Amazing Devil with “I will be the man my father never was”), but everybody tells him that he will be a great Dad, especially because he had uncle Wayne as a role model, who took care of a child that wasn’t even his own and showered him with love.

Eddie loves his job, no matter what he ends up doing. Of course, there will always be bad days, but that happens in every job. Still, he is happy at the end of the day, because he gets to do something that he loves.

Mechanic!Eddie comes home from work all greasy and more often than not ends up dragging you to the shower immediately before he gets the whole apartment dirty. This way, he just gets you dirty and gets to clean you up as well, taking his time with soaping you up, because he can’t get enough of touching your body.

Tattoo-Artist!Eddie loves spending time drawing his ideas on your body. Like a phoenix on your back, delicate flowers on your arm, but he especially enjoys drawing on your thighs, draping them over his own legs, and letting his hands travel where they don’t need to be in order for him to paint on you, but you don’t mind at all. It’s therapeutic, the ways he cherished your body.

Rockstar!Eddie misses you whenever he’s on tour, because you can’t come along most of the time. You give him a shirt of yours to take along, while he leaves his favourite sweater with you to wear at night, when you miss him most, especially during the cold months. (I have Hedley’s Sweater Song in my head all the time) At least these nights spent apart lead to both of you learning the joys of phone sex, only for Eddie to drive back after their last concert to get to you instead of waiting till the next day.

Record-Shop-Owner!Eddie (probably my fave) enjoys a few moments of silence once he gets home after being surrounded by music all day. He knows just the right album/single for everyone, and you’ll catch him singing along all the time. The shop is neatly organised so that he finds whatever he’s looking for immediately, and over the time, he’s collected a lot of polaroids with the people he loves and musicians as well that, and these photos are all over the wall behind the counter.

Eddie loves teaching kids to play the guitar (whether it’s in his free time or he makes it a part time job). These kids are just so eager to learn, and Eddie is extremely patient with them, because he would never stop someone from learning something new. He’d the encouragement they sometimes need, when they do not get that from their parents.

Whenever he sees you after you’ve spent some days apart, he’ll hug you close and not let you go for at least five minutes, burying his nose in the crook of your neck, breathing you in, mapping your body with his hands as if he might have forgotten what you feel like - which is ridiculous, because he could never forget, but he always likes to remind himself of how perfect you feel beneath his fingers.

He’s insecure about his scars at first, and that insecurity bubbles up all the time, but you always manage to take that insecurity away, when you use his own words. He always tells you that your scars are just telling the story of your life, that they are a part of you. That your stretch marks are tiger stripes, proof of how strong you really are. So you tell him that, that his scars are a part of him just like his tattoos, that they show what he’s overcome, and as soon as you kiss them, Eddie doesn’t care about them anymore, he only cares about you.

He whispers the most inappropriate things in your ear whenever you’re around your friends, because he knows how much that riles you up, and that you’ll pretty much jump into his arms the moment you’re alone. He knows just how to push your buttons, but so do you.

Eddie loves learning how to cook from you, and in his late twenties, he’s become quite a good cook, so that he surprises you with a home cooked meal when he has a day off work. It doesn’t always work out in his favour, and sometimes, he still burns this or that, but you still love the effort he puts in, because he puts so much love in everything he does for you.

He enjoys it even more when you cook together, all the domestic little things, because it brings you closer together. Arguing over which colour to paint the wall - because black wasn’t an option, but you let him talk you into getting a dark blue kitchen - or which sofa to get for the living room, but in the end, most of these decisions were easy.

Eddie is someone who tried to fix everything himself at first. Leaky faucet? He’ll try his best. The lamp keeps flickering (and no, not because of Vecna or some other creepy shit), he’ll check it out. He wants to do all of this himself, and he’ll pout when you call someone to fix it, because he couldn’t or would have probably electrocuted himself. But you always make it up to him and quickly take his mind off things.

Eddie doesn’t mind using toys in the bedroom. He’s not one of those people who get intimidated because you have a vibrator or anything, no, he’s actually quite interested in everything. Apart from the “show me how you do it” part, and loving to watch you, he also loves to use them on you himself, use them while you two are having fun, because he knows that these toys are not his enemies, they are his friends.

#eddie munson #eddie munson x reader #eddie munson imagine #eddie munson x you #stranger things 4 #eddie munson headcanons #mechanic!eddie #rockstar!eddie #tattoo-artist!eddie #record-shop-owner!eddie #staffi talks #not all of these are strictly late 20s #but i think they're more prominent then

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zenaidamacrouras1 · 1 year

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Heyo! For the wrapped ask, number 13? Stucky?

Also just wanted to say you’re one of my favourite fic authors I’ve found in a while ❤️ I often anticipate the smutty stuff the most but in your fics I enjoy the in-betweens so much! The way your write children is simultaneously the most warm yet hilarious prose and it always feels so much more lifelike than I often read? Having kids probably helps lol. Sorry I’m just rambling on but you’ve brought me a lot of comfort in the past few months and I appreciate you a lot

Hope you have a good one!!! :)

Thank you for the amazingly kind sweet words - so encouraging - flattery will get you everywhere, so here is a 2500 word smutty fic inspired by this wistful little love song, and yes, I wrote this whole fucking thing last night laying in bed and edited it today in between work calls because I have ADHD, we've talked about this, my brain is very good at doing exactly what it wants and sometimes our interests align and things like this happen.

I listened to this album (So Jealous) on repeat when writing the sad chapters of my fic Tension and Tonic, so not surprised this song ended up in my top songs nor in the direction this story took.

Tegan and Sarah - Take Me Anywhere

Warning this is smutty with graphic sexytimes.

“Stop making me laugh. I'm trying to be sexy," Steve laughs.

"If you can't laugh and be sexy what are you even doing, sweetheart," Bucky drawls back and that's probably when Steve fell in love with Bucky. Unfortunately it was also during their first hook up. It was decent enough - mutual blow jobs. Bucky clearly knew what he was doing. On the surface nothing too different than Steve’s normal routine of finding a guy and blowing off some steam, but there were a lot of subtle red flags that should have warned Steve to run like hell.

Like how entranced Steve was when it was his turn to make Bucky feel good. Bucky, with his dancer's grace, with the asymmetry of his missing arm making the lines of him more perfect somehow, his long hair falling loose into his face, framing his perfect jawline, the pink O of his mouth, the dark smudge of his eyelashes. The way his elegant fingers fluttered so tenderly along Steve's cheek when he sucked in. It was. Lovely. Bucky is lovely. Lovable. It's a problem.

That first time Bucky had sort of folded Steve into his body after, pulling him up onto the couch and burying his face in Steve's hair in a way that normally would have made Steve bristle because he is small but he's not a fucking stuffed animal. But Bucky hummed and sighed in this contented way. Bucky is all bones and muscular and yet fluid and it feels powerful to be held so desperately by someone like that.

"Sorry I’m a cuddler, just shove me off when you get sick of me," Bucky hums, and laughs after a minute, and lets Steve go. "Don't make fun of me, I can't have sex with out snuggling, I should have warned you in the Grindr chat," and Bucky is easy and lax and happy and Steve could have maybe stayed longer without it being weird, but by then, he kind of wanted to stay forever so he definitely needed to go right away.

Bucky is a former ballet dancer. Well, he still dances actually, but he was a principal with the New York City Ballet till he lost his arm, a story he shrugs off easily. "My ma always said I'd lose my head if it wasn't attached and turns out it's the same for my arm? I called the Coney Island lost and found, but it wasn't there? Just kidding, it was a car accident, just glad I'm alive." He's the assistant director of fundraising for the ballet now, and does some choreography too, Steve's not sure how it all works, but Bucky is happy and charming and Steve would definitely hand over all his money to fund the ballet if Bucky had asked him. But. Bucky's never asked him to donate to the ballet. They don't talk about work stuff beyond the minimum. Steve’s just happy they talk at all.

The next week Steve's phone pings and it's Bucky on Grindr again, and apparently Bucky had a shit day and wants to get fucked, and he likes Steve's dick so, well, does Steve top? Steve saves his work, stops his time tracker, and that's all the graphics that are getting designed for today. He changes out of his work from home sweats and puts on his date jeans, and heads over to Bucky's place to take them back off again. Bucky's wearing a suit, his hair slicked back, and the arm of the suit neatly tailored up. He looks amazing, his tie just a little loose around his neck, his eyes lazy and suggestive, moving right into Steve's space and dipping his head down for a kiss before Steve can even say hello.

Steve can work with that, he pushes Bucky into the wall and spreads Bucky’s legs enough so that they're the same height and untucks Bucky's shirt so he can feel up his slim frame. Steve moves Bucky through his apartment and into his bed, and climbs on top of Bucky, and Bucky reaches into the bedtime table for lube and condoms and it's good, it's so good, and Steve can't recommend fucking a ballerina or whatever a guy ballet dancer is any higher, especially when Bucky bites hard into Steve's shoulder and keens desperately and more and more until Steve's ready to last forever if Bucky needs him to, except then Bucky's shaking apart with his one hand in Steve's hair and kissing him messily all teeth and heaving breath and that's fine. Steve loves Bucky's teeth.

After, Steve's forcibly cuddled by Bucky again, which is fine because Steve's legs are kind of rubbery because he's not as athletic as Bucky - then again, who is.

Steve cuddles with Bucky and listens to him ramble on about nothing in particular before sliding back into his date jeans and letting himself out. In his head tells himself this is a business transaction more or less. Steve is a consultant who knows how to do authentic and meaningful work for his clients and move on. A skillshare of sorts.

It sort of becomes a Friday night thing. Most Friday nights Bucky seems to have some kind of high end fundraiser related to his work at the ballet. It makes sense that Bucky can’t be hunting for a hookup while representing his work, so it’s perfectly logical that he’d touch base with Steve after for a bit of no strings attached fun. Steve doesn’t see any need to tell Bucky that he’s not seeing anyone else and also that he’d love to be Bucky’s boyfriend because, haha, what? Why would he say that?

Honestly, they barely know each other beyond Steve having every inch of Bucky’s flexible, lovely body memorized. Steve’s favorite parts are the imperfections, the freckles, the scars, the cowlick that makes his hair stick up funny if he doesn’t slather product in it. He doesn’t mention it, because what kind of asshole would mention it, but he’s transfixed by the way Bucky adapts to having one arm, because it’s just so fucking beautiful. It draws the eye, the way his liquid grace casually defies gravity. It often seems his momentum should go one way, but it seamlessly flows another, and Steve wants to draw Bucky or at least take a picture of him. But they don’t do that.

"I looked up your art," Bucky murmurs into Steve's hair one evening during their post coital cling session that maybe gets a little longer every week. Steve kind of freezes because what? He didn’t realize Bucky even knew his last name? "It's good. You're pretty badass. It's impressive. I can't draw for shit, so I was curious what kind of art you do. Maybe we could commission you at the ballet, you like drawing ballet shoes and legs and shit?"

"Oh," Steve says because, like, seriously, Bucky, do you not know what a hookup is? Steve should be getting dressed right now, not letting Bucky lazily slide his hand up and down Steve's back while talking about his art.

"It's dynamic, lots of movement, reminded me of dancing. Maybe I have a dancing brain. Everything reminds me of dancing," Bucky laughs, and his breath is hot into Steve's hair, and Steve laughs too, because laughter is the appropriate response and also dear oh dear. Yeah. Bucky Barnes is lovable.

"You had heart surgery?" Bucky asks in a sudden subject change. And Steve wonders for a minute how Bucky knows that. In his defense, he's drunk on sex endorphins and being stroked like a kitten and practically purring.

"Yeah, couple of em," Steve says. It's such an enormous scar. Obviously Bucky noticed the damn thing, they’ve been naked together close to a dozen times.

"It's all ticking away alright now though?" Bucky says softly, and Steve huffs a yes and pulls back before he falls asleep. "Should I not have asked? I feel like I have no filter about scars and shit since I got de-armed. It's like, I dunno. My injury is the first thing everyone sees. You're probably as bored as I am of talking about it."

"Did you ever have a filter?" Steve teases, and Bucky laughs hard, his head thrown back with joy, and that feels good. "Yeah, Buck, I'm pretty healthy these days."

Steve manages to escape a little while later. He looks up videos of Bucky dancing. It's only fair if Bucky's been looking up Steve's art. What he does next in the privacy of his own home when he sees Bucky's thighs in those ballet tights is his own business. All of the videos are from before the car accident. Bucky looks strange with two arms, off balance and overloaded, which makes absolutely no sense, but Steve’s just so used to Bucky’s body how it is now.

They meet up the next week, and Bucky’s freshly showered from a dance performance, which, Steve didn’t realize Bucky was performing anymore, let alone today. Bucky’s full of adrenaline and way pushier than normal, taking Steve’s mouth and getting Steve up against the wall. Usually Steve doesn’t like to be pushed around, but he trusts Bucky by now. He’s really a super nice guy. Steve couldn’t be luckier in having such a convenient sex arrangement with such a beautiful, kind, sexually compatible person. This is a thought he has briefly before Bucky grabs him by the crotch and presses their shoulders together hard, slamming Steve into the wall, and Steve’s mind kind of whites out.

After they’re laying on the floor in the hallway of Bucky’s apartment, huffing and limp and half dressed. Steve reaches into his jacket pocket, (how convenient they are still right there by the door) and takes a puff of his inhaler.

“Shit, you ok?” Bucky asks in surprise.

Steve rolls his eyes. “Yeah, I’m cat-sitting for a friend, got my allergies up, and you know, I know that wasn’t enough exertion to get your heart rate up, but some of us mere mortals have physical limits.”

Bucky laughs dryly. “My heart rate was up Steve. Before the physical exertion started, actually though,” he adds softly. And what is that supposed to mean?

Steve lays in bed awake half the night trying to decide if he should go to Bucky’s dance performance the next night. It’s in a massive hall, there’s no way Bucky would know. Is it too intimate? Is it too stalkery? Does he mention it after if he goes? Is it weirder if he goes and doesn’t mention it? That would be weird if he doesn’t mention it, so okay he has to mention it but does he mention it before or after he goes? The tickets are expensive too, so then it’s weird like, does he seem like he’s trying to score free tickets if he mentions it before? But then Bucky seems like the type to be annoyed if Steve pays when Bucky has free tickets on offer. Ugh.

In the end, Steve goes, and he buys the ticket and doesn’t tell Bucky, and he cries because Bucky’s dancing is amazing, and breathtaking, and every adjective, and Steve could draw only Bucky for the rest of his life and not have captured the lines, the strength of him, the defiance. He wants to explain to the person next to him that he’s not crying because he’s like inspired that Bucky is disabled, but because he’s in love with Bucky, and it’s one thing to suspect the guy you’ve been fucking with no strings attached every Friday night for months is perfect, but it’s another thing to have it proven.

Steve doesn’t mention to Bucky that he went to his performance, but he tries to put it into the way he touches Bucky the next week. Reverent. He spends close to an hour opening Bucky up with his mouth and fingers, and the sounds Bucky makes when Steve finally enters him, kissing him gently down his neck, the way Bucky’s out of athletic moves to try and wow Steve with, but just transcendently arching up, helpless with pleasure, that’s how Steve lets Bucky know he saw him dance, and he loved it, and he loves Bucky.

That night, Bucky asks him to stay the night, and Steve actually has an early Saturday meeting with a client, he’s not making it up, he even shows Bucky the calendar note, and Bucky laughs happily, and says it isn’t a big deal. But. It seems like a big deal. Steve makes sure not to schedule anything the next Saturday, in case Bucky asks again, but Bucky doesn’t ask again. Which is fine.

Then something strange happens. Steve’s locking up Wanda’s apartment from checking on her cat, and his phone pings, and it’s Bucky via Grindr, asking for Steve’s phone number. It’s actually super weird they haven’t done the phone number thing yet, honestly, Steve doesn’t even use Grindr except to confirm his weekly dates with Bucky. Steve sends his number over as he’s walking to the subway to head back home, it’s only one stop, but it’s cold.

Bucky texts him right away, asking him what he’s doing Friday. Steve says he’s open, because, duh? At this point, Steve would turn down the presidential medal of freedom if the ceremony was on a Friday night between 10 pm and midnight.

Bucky asks him what he’s doing at 6 pm on Friday, and that’s new. They almost never hang out before 10 pm, or whenever Bucky’s fundraising events wrap up. Steve’s not doing anything in particular, and says as much. Bucky asks if he’d hate wearing a suit and getting free wine? And Steve does not, in fact, hate free wine. He also has a decent suit, he thinks it’s pretty stylish still, he had it tailored a few years ago, but men’s styles don’t change as fast as women’s, which is a relief when you are not a standard human male size and have to have all your clothes custom fit to make sure you don’t look like a child wearing their dad’s dress up clothes.

Bucky asks if Steve would want to meet up with him at his fundraiser on Friday, it’s at an art gallery, and the art reminded him of Steve. Steve feels his heart pound.

S: I like free wine, wearing suits, and art galleries. Sure.

B: Another question.

S: I also like answering questions

B: Do you like holding hands?

S: Depends on the hand.

B: I mean, I only have the one.

Steve feels dizzy.

S: Yes, I would like holding your hand. One is sufficient for my needs.

B: And you would like holding my hand and going somewhere with me on a date?

S: You could take me anywhere.

#spotify wrapped writing challenge #spotify wrapped ficlet #spotify wrapped fic #this is 2500 words #it's a damn fic #I'll clean it up and post it to ao3 at some point too #stucky au #stucky fanfic #ballet Bucky #Catching feelings #is my weakness.#smut

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sybilius · 6 months

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Sybsybsyb!! For the TMG ask, I'll say a song from a few of the albuns you picked bc I'm curious to hear your takes!! You can pick one song or all of them, your choice Outer Scorpion Squadron Southwestern Territory White Cedar Broom People Heretic Pride

Outer Scorpion Squadron, from Heretic Pride -- you know what, I don't linger on this song a lot but I should, the instrumentation is lovely. Anyways:

Find a place where there's water, // hold you under till you're still

Not to sound silt-pilled but this reminds me of my specialest worst boy Faulkner (oooh you want to listen to TSV podcast soooo bad)

Southwestern Territory, from Beat the Champ. God. one of my favourites, no doubt. From memory:

I try to remember to write in the diary // that my son gave me climb the turnbuckle high // take two falls out of three // black out for local TV

Just. the tenderness of a travelling wrestler, doing their damndest to snatch time for the thing that makes them feel alive. Trying also to do right by a son, so far away on the road...it gets me, you know?-

White Cedar from Transcendental Youth. Honestly, it's rare for me to say this, but it's not the lyrics that get me in this song. It's the swell of the horns. But in any case, this one:

Woke up on lockdown one more time // My visions won't ever learn But I see the light that much clearer // Every time I return

Yeah.....

- Broom People from The Sunset Tree. Man. I almost wrote a fic on the energy of this song. Obsessed in particular with this line, godddd:

I write down good reasons to freeze to death // in my spiral ring notebook But in the long tresses of your hair // I am a babbling brook

It's so... young, this song, and hurting and trapped like this whole album and finding small, young loves as the only reason to survive. The evoking of "freezing to death" gets me.

- Heretic Pride, from Heretic Pride, the song that turned me on to the album! As a devout atheist (Christian cultural, and full respect to the fact that JD writes a lot from his Christianity), and a freaky queer, I couldn't love this song more.

And I start laughing like a child // and I mark their faces one by one Transfiguration's gonna come for me at last// and I will burn hotter than the sun

Yeah? yeah <33

#tmg lyric asks #asks #thank you!!

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persephoneflouwers · 1 year

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Angels fly, BUT ALL THE LINES ARE PSYCHOLOGICAL/PHILOSOPHICAL APPROACHES

If every star is an eye in the sky, You'll see angels fly

This curious post was born because the first time I listened to this song I remembered the anecdote a certain Plato tells in his books: Tales the philosopher used to fall on the ground because he spent so much time looking at the sky and studying it instead of watching where he was going. This was the beginning of the proverbial “having the head in the clouds” and worked to stereotype philosophers as the distracted clumsy always in their own world kinda people. It was only later at night that this super-weird post was written. I had fun ngl!

Nothing really matters, nothing really hurts

Moderate existential Nihilism, according to which life is without intrinsic value, meaning, or purpose. Kinda surprising coming from Louis (!!!) but that should say a lot about the album from the title straight to the last note of the last song. Ah! Louis, Louis.

We can't talk about it, It'll only make it worse. There's a time for saying who did what, Where it went wrong

Critique of practical reason: now you can believe it or not but the closure to this book is literally “two things fill my mind with ever increasing wonder and awe: the starry heaven above me and the moral law within me.” And only that is a reason to gasp! The mention of sky and stars AND what’s right and wrong in the same sentence? Wild! Anyway it’s a lot, but it’s quite fun to find these references. I guess Kant would be at least intrigued by the line “there’s time for saying where it we t wrong”… both the concept of time (read below) and the inevitability of making mistakes in humans agenda make this verse a splendid gem in my eyes.

I wanna hear all that, but right now All I need you to know is You'll be okay, we can talk tomorrow + One single word, it could wait till the morning

Apology of emotional procrastination: this is what I just made up because I own procrastination as a lifestyle. In a way, he’s trying to prioritise the moments and even though talking is actually a good way to learn and grow, it is also something he can postpone.

I'm on my way with some time to borrow + I'll knock on your door, it'll save me from calling

Authenticity of time: I could genuinely write en entire essay on the concept of Time in Louis’ songwriting and in Philosophy. They all wondered what time is, how we perceive it, what we can do with it. I could give you just a few names (Aristoteles, Eistein, Hegel, Nietzsche), but my favourite one will be Bergson. He talked about the interior time, non-dividable and non-ripeatable, stocked in our conscience, in which the various moments interpenetrate each other without interruption.

Look at the horizon, Just to make you feel small?

Subversion of metaphysical solipsism: big words, strong words even. But he’s basically saying the world is bigger than me (lol) and you’re not in this alone. You don’t exist on your own. It’s cool, but also sort of an impasse bc yeah world has bigger problems, but that doesn’t mean you can’t struggle for your own shit yk?

Put the pain in my heart till now, You don't need anymore

A simple Epicurean philosophy 🎶: aponia!! and ataraxia!! We going deep lol You don’t need the pain duh put it away now. He’s so cute tho to store the pain in his heart and make it easier for the other person, but it’s an interesting take as obvious as it sounds. You can’t the pain along with you if you want to heal. Easier to say than to be done.

#I don’t really have a tag for this #just know that i always push lyrics to another level #i stretch so much I rip lol #fitf lyrics #angels fly #angels fly analysis next i fear #angels fly is my baby now #also the way it resonates with Hey angel….#they deserve a whole new analysis lol

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songofwizardry · 4 months

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so for the past few years, i have made a list of 'things i really liked this year' in december, and it's never gone beyond ramblings in my notes app, but this year, finally, it is going on tumblr! mainly bc i enjoy talking about things and i can guarantee i will have forgotten about some of these things in a year and i like records.

so, here we go—a fairly chaotic list of media i enjoyed in 2023 (with links where possible!)

words (prose, poetry, etc):

the word for world is forest by Ursula K. Le Guin [prose]: i have been intending to read this for years, and i finally picked it up at the start of 2023, and it is incredible. it's fairly brutal, but it was... idk, i have not read anything else that captures the violence inherent in colonisation and the effects of the decolonial project this well. what a book

your emergency contact has experienced an emergency by Chen Chen [poetry collection]: this poetry collection was very good and pretty fucking heavy (cw for homophobia throughout) and extremely emotional and made me feel many, many seventeen-year-old-me feelings. honourable mentions to higher education (excerpt here) and doctor's note.

a master of djinn by P. Djèlí Clark [prose]: i did not read as much sff as i wanted to this year, but i did read this one, and it's great. i adore fatma. i want all her outfits. the alternate cairo is super cool. the angels. it's a really good read. there's a pretty good tor dot com review of it here, if you're interested.

darius the great is not okay and darius the great deserves better by Adib Khorram [prose]: i read a truly ridiculous amount of YA this spring/summer. some of it was incredible, some of it was less-so, but i thought at least one YA book should be on here. this was one of my favourites. both books are lovely, a really-well written look at both living with depression and the challenges and joys of being a mixed-race kid. also, Sohrab is a sweetie.

audio & music (yes music-y videos are in here don't question my organisation):

now and for always from the Watermill theatre's revival of the lord of the rings musical [music + video]: i have loved the soundtrack of this musical for years, and then the Watermill ran it over the summer and i had the incredible luck to go watch it, and it was phenomenal. this song makes me cry literally always, Nuwan Hugh Perera as Sam is amazing, and the whole musical but particularly this song with actor-musicians worked so well.

solidarity forever with Billy Bragg at the elmwood starbucks strike [music + video]: i started off this year on strike, and as such was both picking picket music and listening to a lot of Billy Bragg just for. general motivation yknow. anyway this video is posted by Aisling Ayers, who got up to sing with Billy Bragg, and it's really good. it makes me emotional every time.

artist: known from WBUR's Endless Thread [podcast]: this episode was how i got into Endless Thread, which is great fun on my commute, and – as a wrinkle in time fan – the history behind the artist of the cover was fascinating. it's a really interesting episode, and it made me emotional about old sff art.

you're gonna go far by Noah Kahan, from stick season (we'll all be here forever) [music]: this album is actually one of the very few new pieces of english language music i listened to all year (ok this and the new Hozier album) and honestly it's such a good album, incredible song after incredible song. this one is my favourite though. i have been writing more this year, and this one has been on repeat while i've been writing for the last few months.

video:

disney channel's theme: a history mystery by Defunctland [video essay]: look 1 i know we've all watched it by now and 2 yes it was posted in late 2022 but i didn't watch it till 2023 but this may be... my favourite video essay ever? it has everything. the anxiety of wondering if the mystery will be solved. the twist. the impeccable fucking editing. the emotions. the little aside about being a documetarian. it's so good.

the largest telescope that will ever be built* by Tom Scott [video]: we have one (1) more of Tom Scott's regular monday videos before he goes on leave/sabbatical/etc, and he has given us so many gems over the last several years, it's hard to even pick a favourite from this year. but this one is really fucking good. i'm biased though, there's telescopes in this one.

rehearsing a string quartet while speaking different languages by TwoSetViolin [video]: ("salmon, why is this not in the music section?" because there are no rules. this is my list). i fell down a TwoSetViolin rabbit hole at the start of the year, and you must understand i know nothing about music. can't play a single instrument. can't read sheet music. absolutely fuck all. but i am obsessed with this video. i can't recommend it enough. it's hilarious, it's an incredible show of skill, my multilingual heart enjoyed it immensely, and they clearly had a lot of fun with the subtitles and notes.

escape the greenroom - Gamechanger season 5 episode 9 [video, dropout exclusive]: if you are not watching Gamechanger yet i cannot emphasise how much you should because it is honestly fucking incredible, and every season has done more and more weird and fun things with the format, but season 5 really blew the previous ones outta the water. this episode was incredible. i won't spoil it, but here's the opening on YouTube shorts. if you have watched it, it's 100% worth a rewatch btw

plagiarism and you(tube) by hbomberguy [video essay]: you knew it was coming. it's the video of the year. this is the logical conclusion of roblox oof + who wrote caramelldansen + the author of homestuck contacted me just going to a like. whole other level. what a video. more twists than you could ever predict. iconic work. well worth the several hours.

to hurt is to heal - critical role campaign 3 episode 79 [actual play]: i've been so good. i have not put any cr on here so far. everything else on here you do not need to watch several hundred hours of media to understand. there had to be at least one though, because of who i am as a person. anyway this may be my... favourite cr episode ever? at least in my top 3. (no spoilers, promise.) it's got fey bullshit. it's got a fun twist thing i didn't see coming. it's got... asmr? it's got reveals stacked on reveals in a precarious jenga tower. great episode.

ok. there are several more things that could've ended up on this list (including more books and a lot of not-English music), but i will stop here. 2023 has been a wild, wild year with a lot of really incredible happenings and some fairly Intense Times, but hey, let's see what 2024 brings—probably more video essays and more podcasts and more critical role compilations, and (maybe?? if we're lucky???) alecto the ninth. happy new year, folks!

#text post #my post #2023 is an experience #i did want to put more music on here #but i was listening to a lot of stuff i discovered last year so #and then of course i did get fully obsessed with lilli furfaro but i said only one critical role thing so i didn't put tethering on my list #pls be so proud of my self control #but yes tethering could very easily be on here i'd like that stated for the record #anyway this is 100% self indulgent buuut i did have fun scouring my lists and refining and writing this #so i'm happy #i had a good time #happy new year

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freakxwannaxbe · 1 year

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I just went in to the last PATD album, thinking "well, I did like the last few of the solo albums, Death of a Bachelor is still a personal favourite, I'm sure the harsh criticism of the new album is mostly the general Brandon hate train"

It wasn't. I mean, I'm sure there is some of it there, but by god not one song did I let play till the end. This album is the worst one under the PATD name by far. Not one song, except maybe Viva Las Vengeance is good.

And it's obvious this was meant to be the big goodbye album, all the songs sound like goodbyes in their tone, and the lyrics are very "farewell" in their lyrics too, this is what he's going out to?

Big oof my dude

#magical adventures of freaky #i known hes not quite the upstanding character but legit some of the solo albums be good and ill stand by it #also i do still consider him the closest voice claim for Draco with Pete Wentz being a close second #despite everything

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leporschespam · 1 year

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tag 9 people you want to get to know better

[the thing is 9, but i've got 4 :) ]

i was tagged by @braceletofteeth

fhfhf thank you sm <333

i was asked yesterday on tellonym is there anyone you want to know better and i thought of my tumblr moots so hell yeah let's go~~

(i say all enthusiastically as if i have the ability to start conversations 😔✋️✋️)

three ships

no stop there is no possible way for me to narrow this down to three, i've watched far too many shows

we shall attempt 💪💪

- kinnporsche

vegaspete could definitely be up here too, but i'll stick with kinn and porsche (also porsche is my all time favourite character so of course he's up here)

- moonjo x jongwoo from strangers from hell

whatever they had going on was not heterosexual and i will be standing by that

- sae-bom & yi-hyun from happiness

a healthy relationship being on this list? fake marriage, childhood friends, found family, of course they're here. happiness has to be one of my favourite shows and bfhfhdh i adore them

first ever ship

i definitely had some in childhood but the one that i'm really thinking of has to be mulder and scully from the x-files

they consumed my 10/11 year old brain, and continued to do so until i was maybe 12/13

last song

youtube

timezone by måneskin

their new album is actually so good, and this is probably my favourite song from it

it's giving kimchay au imo

nah i really need to write a kimchay fic because i've got ideas but the words aren't wording

last movie

eternal summer, and i think this letterboxd review summarises it very well [spoilers firstly]::

it was a solid 3.5/5 i'd say, but especially considering it's from 2006- oh my god,,

currently reading

i literally haven't read a whole book since about summer last year and i feel awful-

anyway

various stuff on ao3, mainly kinnporsche, but a few gap stuff, some goncharov (the fics are so good istg), and yeah dude a lot

i've got 488 fics downloaded–

yEahh

currently watching

- gap

let's fucking go sapphics

it's perhaps a bit all over the place, but i have been in desperate need of sapphics, and it hasn't disappointed

- all of us are dead

(rewatch) korea just does zombies so much better. su-hyeok x cheong-san, and mi-jin x ha-ri supremacy

- between us

i haven't watched it in a little while because i wasn't feeling amazing and wanted stuff i knew well, hence going back to aouad, but i've got to ep 4 (and omg omg), and will be resuming at some point soon hopefully

i'm also gonna mention stuff i recently finished because aaaaa

- vincenzo

went in expecting a dark mafia show, got a comedy mafia show (and i am SO here for it)

- till the world ends

i need other people to watch this for my own sanity, had me sobbing at 2am last sunday when i finished it

currently consuming

do you consume oxygen–

currently craving

no more writers block would be nice :)

i haven't had it for so long and i thought i was free, but uh no :(

i am vaguely writing though besties (30 wips 😩✋️ send help)

tagging

of course there's no obligation to continue this <33

@saturnskyline @kinnporsche-n-chill @spookyspiderseb @achilleanskops

#niaposting

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mywifeleftme · 11 months

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46: Bob Seger // Back in '72

Back in '72 Bob Seger 1973, Reprise

Like a lot of musically-inclined people my age (49), AllMusic.com was a critical part of my early ‘00s descent into abject nerdom and permanent homeliness. It was (and I suppose, still is) an unmatched repository of discographic information and professional reviews of the major pop and rock artists of the past half-century, and I spent hours each week on my shitty dial-up internet trawling through reviews of hundreds and eventually thousands of albums that I would try to imagine based on their writing.

The chief, to me, among AllMusic’s stacked bullpen of critics at the time was Stephen Thomas Erlewine. (Though I’ve become more of a Thom Jurek man in my old age.) Erlewine drew the job of reviewing a lot of the entry-level artists I was most taken with (R.E.M., Elvis Costello, the Kinks, Nick Lowe, the Replacements, and so on), and he had a way of writing what was essentially the Supreme Court majority opinion on a de rigueur classic in a voice that still sounded like a seasoned listener giving his own take. Like any good critic, the comparisons and offhand references in his reviews opened a lot of doors for me—and one of those doors led to early Bob Seger.

youtube

Growing up across the Canadian border from Detroit, I was raised on dad rock radio with a Motor City slant, which elevated local ham-and-eggers like Mitch Ryder to regular rotation and Michigan’s favourite son Robert Clark Seger to peerage with the Stones and Zeppelin. Starting with 1975’s essential double live ‘Live’ Bullet, Seger was a reliable national hitmaker for a good ten years, and he’s remembered fondly for it—but few critics have historically put Bob on a par with similar working-class hero Bruce Springsteen. That’s why it meant something to me that Erlewine, himself born in Bob’s hometown of Ann Arbor, treated the Seger catalogue with the same reverence he brought to the rest of the established canon.

I’d heard a few of Seger’s pre-Silver Bullet Band singles on Detroit radio, when a DJ like WCSX’s Ken Calvert would throw on a scratchy oldie like “Persecution Smith” or “Heavy Music,” but the album-by-album narrative that unwound through Erlewine’s reviews hooked me. An aspiring rocker since he started his first band in 1961, Seger tried out all sorts of gimmicks, from parodies (“The Ballad of the Yellow Beret”) to novelty songs (“Sock It To Me Santa!”) to a Bob Dylan impression (“Persecution Smith”). But Seger’s first taste of regional success was as a feral garage rocker with combos like The Last Heard and The Bob Seger System.

Like Otis Redding, an obvious vocal influence, Seger reaches his high notes by clenching his vocal cords and pushing hard, producing a plaintive quaver he’d eventually deploy toward the melting of hearts. But in his garage days, Bob was melting faces with a venomous arsenal of snarls and shrieks on stone classics like “Lucifer,” “Death Row,” and “2+2=?” that match the intensity (if not the scuzzy low-end) of anything by the Stooges or MC5. If Seger had put down his guitar and gotten a day job after failing to follow up his 1969 hit “Ramblin’ Gamblin’ Man” (his first top 20 national hit, and his last till 1976’s “Night Moves”) he’d be a staple of collector bait reissue labels. But Seger always believed, “You're nobody if you can't get on the radio,” and he kept grinding away, looking for a sound that would make him a star.

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1969’s psych-inflected Ramblin’ Gamblin’ Man LP wasn’t it. Neither was 1970’s balls-to-the-wall raver Mongrel. It definitely wasn’t 1971’s acoustic folk venture Brand New Morning. But, on 1973’s goofily-titled Back in ’72, he suddenly sounds like Radio Bob: thick, white man’s R&B that’s part Ike & Tina, part Van Morrison, part southern rock. A lot of it’s down to the musicians he’s working with. First there’s the Borneo Band (credited here as My Band), a combo as capable of working an R&B audience into a lather as anyone in 1973 (as a number of righteous live bootlegs can confirm). And secondly there’s the Muscle Shoals Rhythm Section, Alabama’s answer to session aces like the Wrecking Crew and the Funk Brothers. They’d played on a few hits in their time, and they represented the professionalism and success Seger aspired to. While Seger could only afford to work with them on three songs during the Back in ‘72 sessions, he’d go on using them as often as possible on his future albums (often to the chagrin of his touring musicians).

There are still some growing pains. Back in ’72 opens with its three weakest tracks: a passable cover of the Allman Brothers’ “Midnight Rider”; treacly original “I Wrote You a Song,” in which Bob sheepishly bleats most of the higher notes; and a cover of Free’s “The Stealer,” a song I am incapable of giving a shit about no matter who records it. From there though, things suddenly and dramatically improve.

“Rosalie,” written for Leamington, Ontario’s teenage tastemaker (and my grandma’s high school classmate) Rosalie Trombley, is an immortal pub rocker that would eventually find a second life through Thin Lizzy’s hit cover; diesel-powered travelogue “Back in ‘72” sets the template for (and easily outmuscles any of) his later heavy numbers; a read of Van Morrison’s “I’ve Been Workin’” turns into a true workout that makes clear why it would remain a setlist staple over the next few years. And then there’s “Turn the Page,” perhaps Seger’s signature song. The version here is more subdued than the better-known ‘Live’ Bullet rendition, and if as a vocalist Seger can’t quite inhabit the weary determination of the lyric in the way he soon would, it remains a worthy rendition on its own merits.

On Back in ’72 Seger and his band(s) finally sound like they’re capable of reaching an arena-sized audience. While it would take another four years before they’d actually do so outside the Midwest, the LP is an essential part of his journey. Few of Seger’s pre-1975 albums are easy to lay hands on these days—Bob seems to consider them juvenilia, the work of someone who wasn’t yet ready for the big time, and has refused to reissue any of them in recent years or allow them to reach streaming platforms. That’s a shame. After reading Erlewine’s rave reviews of his early catalogue, I was lucky to download them from blogs, and I’m still working on hunting down the best of them on wax. (While I prefer 1970’s Mongrel and 1974’s Seven, Back in ’72 is the only one of his formative records I actually own on LP—ironically, it’s among the rarest.) Despite Seger’s dismissal, this era of his career is a good part of what made him a major artist in his time and place, and deserves to be heard by a wider audience.

46/365

#bob seger #the bob seger system #bob seger & the silver bullet band #michigan #detroit #detroit rock city #classic rock #garage rock #music review #allmusic #stephen thomas erlewine #thom jurek #vinyl record #'70s music

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weizhiyuan · 11 months

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heya lovely, could you please tell me favourite paramore (or not?) lyrics and your biggest blorbo(s) hahah also fave colours or palettes?

First of all tysm for giving me a chance to talk abt paramore bc they r my fav band. Second of all I’m sorry if u wanted something short cuz I’m abt to write SO much. Like SOOOO much. so um. be warned..

Since paramore is a very lyric heavy band (the lyrics are v important!) I’m gonna put my answers under the read more hehehe

I’m gonna go from album chronological order so here we go:

1. Never let this go

Maybe if my heart stops beating / it won’t hurt this much … One day you’ll get sick of / saying that everything’s all right / and by then I’m sure I’ll be pretending / just like I am tonight

all we know is falling is an emo ass album. I love her. This song hurts me.

2. When it rains

You made yourself a bed / at the bottom of the blackest hole and you’ll sleep till May and you’ll say / that you don’t want to see the sun anymore

Just the way it’s written breaks my heart again. Happens w a lot of pmore songs

3. Careful

I had it all / but not what I wanted / cause hope for me / was a place uncharted / and overgrown … You can’t tell me to heal / and it hurts remembering / how it felt to shut down

The first set of lyrics was my bio on Instagram when I was in middle school lmao… the first of a few pmore lyrics I’ve done that to

4. Ignorance

Where’s your gavel? / Your jury? / What’s my offense this time? / You’re not a judge but if you’re gonna judge me / well sentence me to another life

I just love whenever they play with words like this!! It’s also a super angry song. Very typical for brand new eyes the band was angry as hell at each other in the bne era lol

5. Playing god

It’s just my humble opinion / but it’s one that I believe in / you don’t deserve a point of view / if the only thing you see is you

LIFE CHANGING LYRIC FOR ME. ONE OF MY ULTIMATE FAVS. It’s something I still live by to this day. And ofc it was also my middle school ig bio at one point

6. Turn it off

And the worst part is / before it gets / any better we’re / headed for a cliff / and in the free fall I will realize / I’m better off when I hit the bottom

There’s a common theme in paramore songs about wanting to get to rock bottom. Hayley’s written these lyrics to reflect how once you get to rock bottom, there’s nowhere you can go but up

7. Grow up

I got a love DOG I would die for

Literally just love this because it’s about Alf (Hayley’s dog). The original lyrics say love but she’s since got a divorce to who she was referring to (AND FUCK CHAD!) so she changes the lyrics when she sings it live :)

8. Interlude: moving on

Let ‘em spill their guts / cause one day they’re gonna slip on ‘em

More silly lyrics I just think are funny visually

9. Last hope

It’s just a spark but it’s enough to keep me going / and when it’s dark out, no one’s around it keeps glowing

A song for when you have nothing left but a tiny bit of hope and the power of clinging to it. Means a lot to me.

10. Anklebiters

What, do you actually expect / a broken mirror to reflect? / You know ANKLEBITERS! / gave you a false perception

This song is sooo fun to sing! It’s about not caring about judgment from other people and I think these lyrics in particular are fun. So are the ones right after if you have a friend to do both parts lol

11. Proof

Baby, if I’m half the man I say I am / if I’m a woman with no fear just like I claim I am / then I’ll believe in what you say / there’s nothing left for you to do / the only proof that I need is you

I love the first part mainly. Just the silly gender moment hehe

12. Hate to see your heart break

For all the air that’s in your lungs / for all the joy that is to come / for all the things that you’re alive to feel / just let the pain remind you hearts can heal / oh how were you to know?

Hayley wrote this song about Taylor :') paramore background info: Taylor York is the guitarist in paramore and he’s a VERY important piece of the band. Hayley and Taylor have been friends since teenagers and are now in a relationship which I think makes this song even more special. It’s also just a sweet thing to listen to, even if you didn’t know who it was about

13. (One of those) crazy girls

Now I walk under a pink sky / love has flown along and passed me by / I pour my heart out to your voicemail / let you know I caught a bus to your side of town / and now I'm standing at your doorstep / with Los Angeles behind me / if you don't answer I’ll just use the key that I copied / cause I really need to see you / if you’re not here when I break in / I’m gonna go to your closet / just so I can smell your skin / as the chemicals swim / I know I’ll never love again / I swear I’ll never love again

ONE OF PARAMORE’S BEST FUCKING SONGS EVERRRR OMFG. THE DESPERATION. THE CRAZY GIRL-NESS!!! God. I love this part especially. The way it tells a story… paramore hall of fame. (Also I made a vegaspete edit to this part once lmfao)

14. Future

I’m writing the future / I’m writing it out loud / we don’t talk about the past / we don’t talk about the past now / so I’m writing the future I’m leaving a key here / something won’t always be missing / it won’t always feel emptier / just think of the future / and think of your dreams / you’ll get away from here / you’ll get away eventually / so just think of the future / think of a new life / don’t get lost in the memories / keep your eyes on a new prize

This is actually the whole song. Future is almost 8 minutes long and mostly instrumental. It’s a very powerful closer to the self titled album. I really wanna see it live one day before I die.

15. Rose colored boy

I want you to stop insisting that I’m not / a lost cause / cause I’ve been through a lot / really all I’ve got is just to stay pissed off / if it’s all right by you

Such a fantastic pessimistic song. Sometimes u just need to be angry and upset at where life’s taken you

16. Forgiveness

You hurt me bad this time / no coming back / and I cried till I couldn’t cry / another heart attack / if I lay on the floor / maybe I’ll wake up / and I don’t pick up when you call / cause your voice is a gun / every word is a bullet hole/ shot a hole in the sun / if I never look up, maybe I’ll never notice … and you, you want forgiveness (I can barely hang on to myself) / but I, I can’t give you that (I can’t give you, I can’t give you that) / and you, you want forgiveness (I’m afraid that I have nothing left) / but I, I just can’t do it yet (I can’t do, I just can’t do it yet)

God. Where do I even fucking begin. One of my favorite paramore songs ever. It wasn’t at first but then I stopped being so forgiving and this song hit a lot harder. It’s about giving someone a second chance and them failing and not being able to forgive anymore. It’s about still having to be connected to that person. It’s about the hurt that leaves you with. In the live version Hayley changes the second line of the bridge “don’t you go and get it twisted” to “I came so close to believing” which reflects the lyrics from the only exception “and I’m on my way to believing”. Both songs were about her ex husband (FUCK YOU CHAD!!!!!!!). He’s a piece of shit. He’s hurt her repeatedly. In my own form I find it very relatable. It’s very beautiful to listen to as well

17. Fake happy

I know I said that I was doing good and that I’m happy now / I should’ve known when things were going good / that’s when I’d get knocked down … oh please, just don't ask me how I’ve been / don’t make me play pretend / Oh no, oh what’s the use? / Oh please, I bet everybody here is fake happy too

If u aren’t sobbing by the bridge and the final chorus u probably weren’t listening closely. Fake happy was one of my first favorites on after laughter. I knew it on harp once but I forgot it now rip

18. 26

Reality will break your heart / survival will not be the hardest part / it’s keeping all your hopes alive / when all the rest of you has died / so let it break your heart

One of the slower, sadder songs from after laughter. This is my fav album if u couldn’t tell and I’m not even done going thru my fav lyrics from it lmao. Real heartbreaking shit

19. Caught in the middle

I can’t think of getting old / it only makes me want to die / and I can’t think of who I was / cause it just makes me want to cry, cry, cry

Hell of a way to open a song. I remember Hayley saying she struggled finding the right words for this because there’s so much she wanted to say but man. She totally got the message across. Perfect song about having a crisis about fear of the future & pain of remembering the past

20. No friend

ALL OF IT.

the song is an outro to idle worship (another fucking awesome song btw) and it’s spoken/sung by Aaron Weiss from the band mewithoutYou. It is a mix of a devastating letter Hayley wrote of how she was struggling at that time and full of references to past lyrics the band wrote. Referencing past paramore songs: “another song that runs too long” (future, 8min long song) “God knows no one needs” (looking up, “god knows the world doesn’t need another band”) “more misguided ghosts” (the song misguided ghosts) “and we'll do our Riot! dance” (their sophomore album Riot!). From the letter: “I see myself in the reflection of people’s eyes / realizing that what they see may not even be close to the image I see in myself / and I think I might actually be more afraid / to let my own self down than anything else.” It’s really quiet so the first time I heard it via a leak (lol) I thought the song was wrong (also lol). But when you actually look closely you’ll see how FULL of references and reflections it is. A masterpiece.

21. Tell me how

I can’t call you a stranger / but I can’t call you

Another painful way to open a song. It’s about a broken friendship and not knowing what to feel or do about what’s left. In paramore specifics, this is about the past member Jeremy (but also fuck him lmao)

22. Running out of time

THERE WAS A FIRE! (metaphorically) / BE THERE IN FIVE! (hyperbolically)

This song is fucking hilarious. It’s just about being late to everything. Hayley described it as roasting herself and it’s fantastic. I love the way she sings this part hehe

23. C’est comme ça

In a single year, I’ve aged one hundred / my social life, a chiropractic appointment … I know that regression is rarely rewarded / I still need a certain degree of disorder / I hate to admit getting better is boring / But the high cost of chaos, who can afford it?

Getting better fucking sucks. It’s boring. That’s exactly what this song is about! Also I can’t help but think the French title is Zac’s influence lmao

24. Big man, little dignity

I keep thinking / this time the end’ll be different / but it isn’t / I keep thinking / the end is gonna be different but you keep on winning

This song is about putting your faith into the same type of person, straight cis white men, and noticing a pattern of how they repeatedly fail you and how much it can hurt

25. You first

Everyone is a bad guy / and there’s no way, no way to know / who’s the worst / karma’s gonna come for all of us / and I hope well I hope, I just hope / she comes, comes for you first, oh!

SUCH a petty song I love it

26. Liar

And why should I deny what’s all at once so crystal clear? … Love is not an easy thing to admit / but I’m not ashamed of it / love is not a weakening if you feel it rushing in / don’t be ashamed of it

Oh my god. When I tell you how I freaked out, teared up, screamed, and everything when I heard this for the first time??? Hayley makes a reference to the song/lyrics “crystal clear” from her solo album petals for armor. Both liar & crystal clear are about her falling in love with Taylor. I love them both so much and I’m only hoping the best for their relationship (which I still can’t believe is rlly true sometimes lol). Currently on tour they’re performing liar and then crystal clear consecutively and I’m so ready to just fall apart when they do that at my concert. The bridge also resonates a lot with me as a queer person. And of course it’s a fantastic ship song sjskdj

27. Crave

I romanticize even the worst of times / when all it took to make me cry was being alive … Just for a second it all felt simple / I’m already missing it / So I crave, crave to do it again, all again

FUCK!!! A song I never thought would exist but perfectly captures reminiscing on the present while struggling to actually be in the present and wanting to live the good moments all again… this is currently my most listened to song from their most recent album and I’m pretty sure it’s gonna be my top song of the year

28. Thick skull

Hit over the head / epiphany / over my head / repeatedly / thick skull never did / nothing for me / same lesson again / come on give it to me / give it to me, give it to me, give it to me

Another play on words. Being hit over the head with this “lesson” but also the same “lesson” going over your head just for you to go through it again. Powerful closer for the album.

OKAY. WE MADE IT. these are (almost) all my favorite paramore lyrics. Yeah I’m saying (almost) cuz I could’ve listed more honestly… there isn’t a paramore lyric that I don’t love. I’m sure this is more than u bargained for but I’m on a roll so I didn’t rlly hold back lmao. Also special shoutout cuz if I could’ve included stuff from Hayley’s solo albums I would’ve absolutely included lyrics from: simmer, leave it alone, dead horse, pure love, watch me while I bloom, crystal clear, no use I just do, find me here, and.. more…. LOL

AS FOR BLORBOS! I promise I won’t be as long fnmsjdjd

1. Qi Rong: from tian guan ci fu! He’s my fav character from the whole series and SUCH a slimy guy. If u hate him I hate u y’know. He’s an annoying cannibal who is a very loving father to his …adopted.. son… hehe

2. Shi Qingxuan: my other fav from tgcf :) (tbh I love quite a few tgcf characters..) she’s the type of blorbo I wanna have a sleepover with so bad.

3. Lan Wangji: we know him! We love him! My ultimate blorbo from mdzs!!! He is literally me.

4. Vegas: literally just last night I remembered his entire character and freaked out bc again.. he is literally me…. (that’s like how I decide most of my blorbos lmfao)

5. David from druck! A little bit of a throwback but he’s one of the most special characters to me ever. And I’m extremely grateful as he’s amazing pan representation!!

6. Literally the main four from bad buddy… I CANT CHOOSE ONE. I want to be bffs/be like every one of them lol

7. Noh Shinwoo: I will defend him with my life. Being team shinwoo while watching light on me live has left me with battle scars they really kept us on edge until the end lmfao

8. Sean (not me): I’m still in a not me mood after finishing my rewatch but aahhh he’s so blorbo…. never done anything wrong in his life

9. MENG SHAO FEI!!! Now THAT’S a bitch who fits the blorbo definition. He is so silly <3

10. hira from utsukare: NEW ENTRY!!! We are scarily alike…

Finally, my favorite color is red/burgundy!!! I think I tend to like warmer palettes and ofc ones that have some red in it hehe

If u actually read through this whole thing. Wow. I’m impressed. I lowkey literally wrote u an essay. But thank u sm & ily for asking & giving me a chance 2 talk abt my fav band (& blorbos) bc I had fun writing this the whole time !! :D

#SO sorry this took forever for me to do I meant to do it way earlier but stuff happened ejsdjsj #BUT I WROTE SO MUCH AAAAHHHDJSBDH LOLL #also fun fact I’m wearing a pmore shirt rn. but also pmore shirts are half my wardrobe ..#ask #b.txt #paramore

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