#this was on my heart to share and ive been seriously thinking about starting a podcast to talk more about this stuff

[forhereyesonlyyy]

cupid’s work. — a jang wonyoung x reader short.

word count: 1.9k

author’s note: trying something new! a lot of the things in my drafts are super long, so i wanted to try my hand at writing a short that is actually short (and very vague) where i’m less strict with spelling and grammar and all that jazz and just try to vibe, ha. anyway, i hope you enjoy this~ if i see that you guys like this enough i might make a cute little continuation too <33

author's note 2.0: YA'LL... tumblr is becoming my worst enemy idk why the order of the paragraphs(?????) is getting jumbled up PLS BEAR WITH IT 😭😭

warnings: none.

sometimes you wondered if you were extremely lucky, or horrifyingly unfortunate.

when your managers had told you and your group that you would be filming a variety show with another girl group, you were overjoyed. you have always wanted to make friends with your colleagues, but have been too shy to do so. jayoon was more fit for that kind of thing; socializing. but you thought that you would finally try to come out of your shell in this variety show by making the first move on whoever the other girls may be, until you were told of them.

“ive.”

you didn’t miss the way chaeyoung and sieun gave you a sideways glance at the mention of the popular group. while jayoon and seeun shared a high five, and yeeun and sumin nodded excitedly, you were sinking into your seat.

“what, (y/n)? not happy with the other group?” your manager asked, noticing the distraught look on your face.

you perked up, “i am!”

“i bet you are.” jayoon teased. you kicked her leg under the table, but she only laughed.

your managers decided that it was better not to know whatever it was that bothered you, and had concluded the meeting right after they dropped the date when the groups will meet up for further discussions about the show. nobody talked for the first few minutes after the meeting ended, but when you saw chaeyoung smiling at you, you knew all of them were going to speak of a certain someone.

“so,” sieun started. you busied yourself with looking at your nails, pretending as if you didn’t know that sieun was talking to you. “i think i speak for everyone when i say that you should shoot your shot during this show.”

“absolutely not,” you replied immediately. “that’s... that will never work out! right, sumin?” it was your futile attempt to pull someone on your side.

much to your dismay, your leader only smiled sheepishly at you, “i agree with sieun. it’s getting a little sad seeing you pine for her from afar.”

“and trust me, we all want to be spared of your awkward greetings and even more awkward small talks in the music show hallways.” seeun added, shaking her head. you scoffed, crossing your arms, but you didn’t find the grit to fight back. it really wasn’t your fault that you get tongue-tied in the presence of the idol of this generation!

“hey, we’ll help you as much as we can. but seriously, have faith in yourself! everything will work out fine! you’ll see in the meeting that we’ll have with them that you two will get along well!” chaeyoung, bless her heart, holds your hand in consolation.

“unless you shit your pants, then i don’t think we’ll be able to help you with that.” jayoon said. you groaned, hiding your face in your hands while chaeyoung scolds jayoon in the background.

seriously, what were you going to do?

~

“i feel like my heart is going to break out of my ribcage and make a run for it.” you paced around the practice room restlessly. it was the day that stayc and ive will have their meeting for the variety show. when the news was announced on the internet, everybody seemed excited for it. what was better than having one girl group in a variety show? two, of course! both fans of the groups were excited for all of the members of be interacting, and your heart warmed at the encouraging comments of you fans, saying that you will finally have your moment to make friends, like you have always said you wanted to do.

“they’ll be here in a sec, girls.” one of the staff said. you heard jayoon and yeeun snickering behind you, but they both patted your back for good luck.

“i’m gonna faint.” you told sieun.

but you weren’t going to lie, it felt like it was the end of the world.

“you’re not gonna faint.”

and then almost immediately, the door swings open and the first face your eyes set on were jang wonyoung’s. she towered above everybody else and in your eyes, she always had that glow around her that made it hard for you to ignore her. and really, it was your big pathetic crush on her that just automatically made you look at her.

chaeyoung, who was genuinely worried that you would pass out, places her arm around your waist and had you bowing towards the other group with her, as well as the rest of your group.

“hi, (y/n)!” rei greeted, grabbing both of your hands and shaking them. you got acquainted with her a long time ago, after bumping into her in a bakery and finding yourselves being completely at peace in each other’s company. ever since that, you’ve been friends, but you hadn’t told her about your infatuation towards her fellow member though.

“hello.” wonyoung greeted you, bowing again. you found your words stuck in your throat, and only bowed back. you avoided looking at her because every time she was around, it was hard to keep yourself together. (which was a shame, because you would’ve seen the slightest look of disappointment on wonyoung’s face when you avoided her eyes.)

once the groups were introduced to each other, the producer of the show, who was a relatively young woman, ushered you all to sit down on the floor with her. you sat in between seeun and rei and about three seats away was wonyoung. you continued to look at everyone else but her.

“oh, (y/n). are you not feeling well today? you look a bit pale.” the producer said.

everyone turns their head towards you, making you flinch. even jayoon seemed genuinely worried. she was afraid that she might have taken her teasing too far and had actually scared you into ignoring your crush. but you frantically shook your head, laughing nervously, “i’m alright!” you told the producer.

seeun puts her hand on your forehead, “you’re not sick, are you?” she asked. 

you gently took her hand and rested your joined hands on your lap, “no, no. i’m fine, really.” you said.

(wonyoung studied you closely. she noticed the way you didn’t know what to do with your hands after seeun lets go of it, the way your eyes darted everywhere, and the way you didn’t look like you were listening at all. she got worried.)

after that, the producer then went on to the details of the show. the groups will be traveling together in popular tourist spots and will occasionally have friendly competition from time to time. the show is mostly about building friendships between idol groups and overall just wholesome content for the groups’ fans. everybody loved it, and you felt genuinely excited about it all.

“speaking of games, there’s no way we can’t not do the lie detector game.” the producer said, a mischievous grin spreading across her lips. the lie detector machine was filled with bullshit, as you have come to know, but every time your members get shocked by it, it was always fun.

plus, it was the only time that you got to do the teasing.

“although we might need to protect anyone who might be weak to being poked fun at,” the producer joked. your members nodded, and of course the producer sees the way jayoon and yeeun looked at you while they giggled. “(y/n), you’re not good with jokes?” the producer asked.

you shook your head, playfully glaring at jayoon and yeeun. “it’s just that you don’t really need a lie detector to find out if she’s being truthful or not.” sumin clarified, which really only made things worse on your end.

the producer laughed, “really? should i try it out then? (y/n)-ah, do you have a crush on someone right now?” well, that was a conveniently timed question. your members laughed, so you couldn’t help but laugh with them while your cheeks inhabited a very deep red color.

rei looks at you with wide eyes, “whoa.” she said. you covered your blushing face and leaned into rei, shaking your head. while your members started teasing you about how big of a trouble you were going to be in once you all play the game, you made eye contact with wonyoung, who had a fond smile on her face, and only blushed harder.

you looked away, but you couldn’t hide your shy grin.

(wonyoung’s heartbeat started racing. no way. her own cheeks started flushing pink. oh, good god.)

when the meeting ended, it only felt like there was the start to a great friendship. you hugged rei goodbye and gave yujin and leeseo a warm side hug (those two talked to you a lot during the meeting, always adding onto your ideas and looking at you attentively as you talked).

“goodbye for now.” wonyoung tells you as she approached the door with her members.

“goodbye—” your mouth clamps shut and your heart drops when wonyoung suddenly squeezed your hand before waving and bowing towards your members. once ive was out the door, you stared at your hand with wide eyes.

“holy shit, (y/n).” seeun, who witnessed the whole moment, said.

you nodded and breathlessly you replied, “holy shit.”

“i’m not the only one who saw that, right?” yujin asked, nudging wonyoung with her elbow. wonyoung has been smiling for a while now. “i can’t believe you’re going to get a girlfriend before i do.” the leader said, sighing.

~

ive was a mess in high up entertainment’s parking lot.

“i knew i wasn’t hallucinating when i saw it!” liz exclaimed, bouncing on her feet. they were, of course, talking about the very brief moment you looked at wonyoung when the producer mentioned crushes.

yujin smirked, “how did you know she was talking about (y/n)?”

“what? (y/n) didn’t even say she was crushing on me! also, that would be ridiculous. i’m just me, and she’s (y/n) of stayc.” wonyoung said, forcing herself to laugh.

gaeul stared at her, simply amazed to see the wonyoung looking so infatuated, “you’re in deep, huh?”

wonyoung paused, and once again, she found herself blushing.

yes. terribly so. jang wonyoung has had the biggest crush on you for... wow, she can’t even say exactly when. but she remembered it as clear as yesterday. being friends with rei, it made sense that you would do everything to support her and her group. so, it didn’t surprise wonyoung when you made a surprise visit during an ive comeback show. what did surprise her was how you had apparently worked hard getting the perfect bouquets for each and every member.

wonyoung found herself feeling completely enchanted by you when you handed her a beautiful bouquet. her heart melted at your words that day too.

“i saw these light pink tulips and thought of you. they’re candid, yes, but they’re very beautiful. i felt like they suit you the best — simple, but that factor is what made them so perfect. a-ah! i hope you don’t take that the wrong way! i-i wasn’t trying to insult you, or anything...”

wonyoung spent the next couple of minutes consoling you that time. those tulips were long gone now, but wonyoung never forgot about your words. ever since then, you have been on her mind, as well as her heart.

her holding your hand for a brief moment was only the start of her attempt to finally tell you of her feelings, which she hoped that you shared.

throughout the ride back to the dorms, wonyoung was smiling quietly in her seat, with only the thought of holding your hand a lot more in the future in her mind.

#ive x reader #ive imagines #ive scenarios #ive oneshots #ive reactions #jang wonyoung x reader #jang wonyoung imagines #jang wonyoung oneshots #jang wonyoung scenarios #jang wonyoung reactions #wonyoung x reader #wonyoung x fem reader #wonyoung imagines

[tiyoin]

Now I'm thinking about twisted anxiety reader being able to sing really well. I feel like there could be some very interesting/funny moments (4 us not reader).

Reader probably only sings in a reclusive area like a forest around the dorm

I wanna say that the forest already has haunting rumors about it ,and when someone (jade or rook) hears reader singing they think that the "ghost" is up and active again. So students start doing a "test of courage" type thing.

I put Jade or Rook being the one to hear reader cuz they're really the only ones that would really be in that area without a reason.

I also know they're intelligent enough to know it's not a ghost ,but start the rumor anyways cuz they want to know who's singing. And it becomes this big thing the school trying to figure out.

Cut to reader losing her mind cuz she like "wow, I didn't know people thought it was that bad. How am I supposed to live, laugh, love ever again??"

When in reality they were just memorized by reader's singing. And they really want to find out who it is.

Bonus points if they film it and sent it to the group chat you posted about earlier. And reader just has to be like 🧍‍♀️ "whattt???? No way!! 🤷‍♀️🤷‍♀️ a random voice in the woods 😱😱"

I'm sorry for sending 2 long asks back 2 back ,but twisted anxiety just gets my head going.

Also if you don't like being sent stuff like this just tell me and I won't send any more. I don't want to over step at all. These are just like head cannons I give to reader ,cuz I just love making things worse for her. Can't let her know what peace is

YOU

hOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET IN MY HEAD 🫵

i’m going to give you the fattest smooch alive you don’t understand. AND I LOVE IT WHEN I GET LONG ASKS!!! so please! ask away i don’t mind, i actually get really flattered that people want to share with me their long, detailed thoughts !! i was actually nervous people wouldn’t like my long responses 😖

no cause that’s ALWAYS one troupe i ALWAYS go back to.

i was thinking about making them a singer, REALLY I WAS- but i had second thoughts cause i thought people wouldn’t like it / maybe people would think its too… y-nie or im trying to make twisted anxiety reader too much, ya know

BUT OH MY GOD I LOVE YOU MEAH MWAH (also dw i got your other ask and fully plan on answering it, this one was just at the top of my inbox 🫶🫶)

but oh my god,,,, HEAR ME OUT;

twisted anxiety reader getting pent up because they. have. no. outlet.

none.

maybe they played a sport in their old world, but no longer can’t because seriously?? going up against beastmen, mermen, fae and just,,, men?! absolutely not.

they can’t do anything fun in ramshackle because of the ghosts can and will find a way to stick their noses into your business. also hello??? no privacy at ramshackle👎👎

honestly, twisted anxiety reader doesn’t have any friends so they can’t blow off steam that way either. and going to the gym is out of the question because 1. anxiety 2.gym bros- and working out at home is… different.

so there has to be a way to let off steam… good thing twisted anxiety reader dilly dallied in everything!!

they want to sing but aren’t confident enough to join the pop music club, and the walls to ramshackle are paper thin.

there’s absolutely no where you can go.

and yet… every time you glance at the forest. you can’t help but wonder…🤔

AND IVE ALWAYS IMAGINED READER SINGING

“everything stays” from adventure time

“love all mine” by mitski

“rises the moon” by liana flores

“sky fall” by adele

“memory” from cats

“listen” by beyoncé

“hopelessly devoted” by olivia newton-john

oh my god i have to make a separate post for this before i completely rot and accidentally write a whole chapter because i’ve been WAITING to write about this and i’d feel bad about making this SUPER LONG

but i can’t imagine rook going for a sunset “hike” (…sure, let’s go with that) and hearing you. belting your little heart to “hopelessly devoted” HAGFJAIWOFOSOWOFOAPEIFOZOQFOXOD

ROOK IS AWE STRUCK

such passion! such devotion! how marvelously beautiful! rook is stunned.

of course after you finish singing he can hear you moan and groan about trivial things but- rook hunt was not a hunt if he didn’t appreciate the gift the forest provided.

and yet, the carful hunter made a careless mistake. cursing silently, he glared at the twig his boots stepped on before he snapped his head up to the clearing up ahead.

ah, you fled.

to say rook was… upset was an understatement. yes he was able to marvel in your voice, but he lost the privilege to listen to more, to observe from afar.

the strange songs you sang and possibly wrote (what he doesn’t know won’t hurt him) are gone with the wind and the high step of your foot as you vanished into thin air.

rook could easily hunt you down, but he stopped himself after a slight muscle twitch. non non! he was the enjoyer of beauty! not the hunter! yes he hunted beauty but it would go against his very being to trap it instead of let it fly free and continue its song.

so let this be your little secret, okay.

jade would def walk into you singing ‘everything stays’

OR OR ROOK N JADE BOTH TAG TEAMING READER IN THE CHAT SAYING HOW THEY WISH TO MEET THIS BEAUTIFUL VOICED GOREST ‘NYMPH’ SO THEY CAN HEAR MORE OF THEIR SONGS

readers just like;

😟

“time to find a new location☝️”

*there’s no where those two won’t be able to find you fyi*

TWISTED ANXIETY READER WILL NEVER KNOW PEACE‼️‼️ NOT AS LONG AS IM HERE‼️‼️

please send more headcanons i love reading them 🙇🏻🙇🏻

babes this is me n u rn:

#MWAH MEAH MWAH ALL THE HUGS AND KISSES FOR YOU FOR SHARING THE SAME BRAIN CELLS AS ME HENCE ALLOWING ME TO WRITE ABOUT IT MWAH MWAH #guys… if i added this to twisted anxiety…. #guys if this became canon… #hopefully y’all won’t get mad cause i wanna 🤞😋 #twisted anxiety 🌀 #tiyoin’s cuties 。 ඞ 。

[stuckinapril]

i think you said somewhere you volunteer - do you have any tips on how to start doing that? ive been wanting to start both to help people out myself and to push my social boundaries but i get stuck in my head before i even get in the door somehow. do you have any tips lol? i think im overthinking this...

Hey no worries, I really like that you’re genuinely interested and trying to gather resources. I actually have some thoughts I’d like to share on this:

There are two types of volunteering: long-form volunteering and short-form volunteering. Short-term volunteering looks like participating in the occasional phone bank, helping raise donations every now and then, attending a food drive on a blue moon. Long-form volunteering is typically something like volunteering at a place on at least a weekly basis. A lot of the time that requires that the place actually train you so you’re of use to them. Before you look up places to volunteer, consider which type of volunteering suits your schedule the most. I do both, but I understand how not everyone’s workload can accommodate that.

When it comes to long-term volunteering, understand that just because it’s not paid work doesn’t mean it shouldn’t be taken seriously. You can’t do frequent callouts or blow off tasks because they’re not paying you to be there. A lot of the places that do social justice work—providing free food and medical care to homeless people, providing services to refugees—unfortunately do not have the necessary funding to support a whole lot of employees most times. Whatever your time commitment looks like, it remains a time commitment that needs to be honored regardless of pay.

With that said, it really is best to find something you’re actually passionate about, not something that you’re doing for the brownie points. One way to do that is to work towards a cause you have a personal connection to. For example, I volunteer weekly at a refugee center for middle eastern refugees. I also participate in a plethora of events with a view to assist Palestine in whatever ways I could. Because I’m an Arab girl, one w Iraqi heritage (also a war-torn Arab country), obviously all these things will be of personal importance to me. It’s easy for me to be incentivized to care about them, because I have this preordained connection to them. Personal connection makes it that much easier to be passionate about a cause.

But it’s equally important to mention that relatability isn’t the only way to care, nor should it be. I also volunteer at a clinic that provides service to homeless people weekly. I’m not homeless. I still care. I volunteer at my city’s Alzheimer’s research center. I don’t have Alzheimer’s. I still care. We don’t have to only associate ourselves with people we personally relate to. In fact, and this goes for life in general, you really should seek to befriend, interact with, and be curious about people who’re not like you. You should find their experiences intriguing: a window into another perspective you perhaps hadn’t thought of before. You should not always be surrounding yourself with an echo chamber of yesmen and homogeneity. Be curious about people who’re not like you. Try to put yourself in their shoes. And then learn to care about them.

It’s okay to frame volunteering as a way to benefit you too. It’s not a one-way street. There’s nothing more fulfilling than devoting yourself to something that’s solely rooted in your humanity. Not in the desire to be paid, not in the desire for acclaim, but simply in the desire to help. It makes you feel better. It boosts your self-confidence. It helps you form long-lasting connections with other people who’re also doing it out of the sheer kindness of their heart; out of the fact that they find it in themselves to care. And it reminds you of what really matters.

The biggest mistake is overwhelming yourself w 82727 resources and 72627 organizations. Start with something simple and stick with it, then go from there if you have the time to get more involved. A lot of the places that need volunteers would be happy with as little as one day a week, so long as you’re consistent about it.

It’s okay if you don’t have the time for long-form volunteering. Volunteering every now and then at one-and-done events still makes a huge difference. A lot of people make the mistake of thinking it has to either be this grand commitment or nothing. Please don’t think that way; organizations know life could be busy, and they’re happy to have you even if it’s only for the occasional event. Just make sure you’re doing something if you can.

#ok I’m done <3 <3 hope this helps #volunteering #ask

[ashtraythief]

Hey! So ive been a long time reader of ur underneath verse (since like.. 2018? Maybe even 2017?) and i just wanted to drop by and tell u how much im enjoying rereading ur writing! Like in general i think this is one of my fav fics series just bc its so extensive and well done and thought out and fleshed out so well it works so well? Like seeing all the different angles and the way u choose to frame things is really fun for me and kinda inspires my own writing in some aspects.

Ive never read the whole thing all in one go before so ive decided to do that right now and im just about done with the pied pipers song - more specifically willys chapter. And i kinda needed to let u know that ur series really stands out to me just bc of how many glimpses into other characters and all these different povs of the same thing like on it stands out on a technical level but then ur actual writing of these things is so good and compelling and like as an outsider pov bitch it hits the spot for me so well? Like ur writing is never stale and its always interesting.

I specifically wanted to take this time to mention that i really love willy and winstons characters and how u went about it. Like im ngl the way u wrote them kinda makes me want to cry tears of happiness for them bc they have found ppl who appreciate them and they have connections with other ppl but then the bittersweet tang of jensen and willy is kinda fucking me up rn /pos djjdjdjd like in general u really do the bittersweet jensen is stuck undercover angle really well and it HURTS so good

But yes i dont really have a good concise message or comment to leave beyond the fact that i keep stopping every few sentences to get up and jump bc im so excited about what im reading i need to get rid of that excess energy lol so sorry if this is all over the place and a really messy message! I just really wanted to let u know how much im enjoying reading it all rn. Thank you so much for sharing ur writing with us and for continuing to write for this series its so fun!

omg nonnie, I'm kinda speechless here (this is the second wonderful message in two days so I'm kinda overwhelmed. is it send wonderful messages week somewhere??)

I just am so grateful and this message made me so happy. never apologize for maybe not having a five point outline lol, this is amazing.

The underneath verse has always been my fandom baby, so praise for it is already amazing, but the pied piper fic and Winston and Willy epsecially, it just makes my heart so full. Ten years ago, they definitely started out as stock characters of mob drivers, because I didn't think this fic would get so big, but then it did, and Willy especially became a real character. a) because I knew he'd fall in love with Jensen too, as anyone does really and b) because I looooove the bittersweet undercover Jensen shtick where I write from other character's POV and the reader knows how wrong they're getting it but they don't *mu har har* (yeah I'm a little mean sometime. sorry?)

but in all seriousness, the Willy chapter, I'ev been working on that for months. And I kept adding things and rewriting things and trying to get it perfect even though I know that most people who read the story mostly care about Jared and Jensen (which is totally fair and understandable), but I care about him and there are a few people out there who do too (and I love you for it, so much), but with Willy, I just wante to do this /right/. I've come to love him so much, and he's come to be so important to Jensen, it felt like he and Winston really deserve their own story told even though that's kind of ridiculous because they're not real, but they're a little real to me now. All this to say, nonnie, this comment and your appreciation of Willy means so fucking much to me. And my poor alpha reader who read like four drafts of this (seriously, M. is a saint) and my beta readers who then had to beta four iterations of this. To know that this effort is appreciated this much honestly make me cry a little (I am not having the greatest time right now, so I cry easily but the point still stands. Thank you.)

This message was actually such an energy boost I'm currently trying to fix the next timestamp, lol so I'll have something to post next month. You're a true treasure, nonnie <3

#anon ask #underneath verse

[oohbuggypie]

it's both my God given right and duty to never shut up so i am going 2 not be quiet about BullDon 🫡 putting all text ("analysis", fanfic reccs, general rambling) under a read more so those who don't gaf can scroll easy 🩷 HERE WE GO !!

(all fanfics and their respective author are linked within their titles 🩷)

-------------------------------------------------------

K WHERE DO I START . their dynamic, past the obvious matador and bull trope, is so interesting to me. i think that their backgrounds have so many similarities; Don is a matador and is shown to have hundreds of people gathered in a stadium to watch his match, and Bull is watched relentlessly by the paparazzi. but they both have very different reactions to the fame and attention they receive. Don soaks it up and Bull can't stand it, and i think it contributes to their odd, almost mirror dynamic a lot

past that is their personalities and ethics,, both of them are SO full of themselves i actually almost forget, with Bull only being slightly more humble (cuz he can't exactly brag about his looks 😭) . Don is more prideful than he is cocky imo; but he's VERY expressive of his anger and distaste for losing, which makes him kind of paralell to my idea of Bull. though this follows more of a headcanon of mine and not whats in the game, i think Bull is really calm outside his persona in the ring (i.e his intermissions,,, he's being friendly if anything with Doc and he speaks so calm and low in Title Defense). unlike Don, he's shown actually building endurance and managing his emotions compared to his Contender cutscnene, essentially the OPPOSITE of Don, who only gets more sour and negative after he loses. i think in that aspect they're complete opposites but that switch makes their dynamic and relationship so much more complex to me

in the ring i think they share the factor of channeling their anger to help them succeed; Don is stronger when he's pissed at his missing toupee and Bull is .. Bull ? the Bull charge and his gut punch in Title Defense are very telling if his entire character isn't about how genuinely angered that man can be and i think that gives them a more complex element to how they'd work together; they're both sour and ugly about being perceived/looked at (more literally) in a way they don't want to, so that's just another thing that i find so interesting .. they have a BUNCH in common yet they're drastically different when you look at their characters generally

K NOW FANFIC RAMBLE TIME 🩷

Suficiente:

if anybody knows the author DetectiveCapan from AO3 personally im so dead srs when i say u should message them and praise them. i could not stfu about their BullDon writing and im not going to in a paragraph or two here but OH MY GODD. i have always avoided both actual books and fics alike that are written choppy and simplistic, and especially ones that lack atmosphere simply cuz they're just unappealing and hard to make me feel what's actually going on. but their BullDon trilogy ?? somehow their style of writing, which doesn't use complex words or long sentences packed with detail, is genuinely some of my favorite that i have EVERR read . they make the emotions the characters are feeling SO easy to understand and feel even without exaggerated expressions and dramatic descriptions it's actually kind of incredible ? and the bit of humor isn't overbearing, it's just silly and it sets up the atmosphere, which never ends up terribly serious. they write relationships with a familiarity in the atmosphere and actions that have been unachievable in any other piece of fiction ive read and the gestures omg .. IM GONNA BE SPECIFIC IN MY RECCS SO YOU'LL HEAR MORE ABOUT IT BUT OMGG. DETECTIVECAPAN IF U SEE THIS BLESS UR HEART SERIOUSLY UR AN AMAZING AUTHOR 🩷🩷 PLEASE KEEP DOING WHAT U DO UR WONDERFUL AND I'D LOVE 2 SEE MORE OF UR WORK ABT BULLDON / PUNCH OUT!! WII IN GENERAL 🥹 now the recc list!!

possibly my favorite out of all three and it's literally the first one 😭 ough i could gush about this one FOR SO LOOONG ,,, i love how they immediately establish Don's mindset and attitude with how he both admires and pities the World Circuit for what they get and what they go through. when Don's out of the shower and he sees Bull half dressed there's no implication of sexual tension despite them being mostly undressed in front of each other and thats actually SO special to me because i had a morethanfriendship just like this and they captured the reality of it in a perfect way, like feeling for feeling . same in the way that Bull watches Don get dressed; they mention he stares but he doesn't have a corny, shocked "omg i hope he didn't notice me" reaction to catching himself. instead they mutually understand that they're admiring each other and they just smile about it . LIKE UGH THATS SO SPECIAL TO ME OMGG. and also Don putting on his - what'd id assume - rosary and then dabbing cologne behind his ears .. literally clutched my own cross necklace like omg that detail makes me crazyy i love the religion mention sm 😭

also UGH Bull's mannerisms .. a little annoyed at Don but there's such an endearing thing about it; he's annoyed at his demands but he complies anyway cuz even though he knows Don is purposely trying to make him a little pissed, he likes him enough to and he knows it'll make him happy .. THERE'S A DEEPER SENSE TO IT AND I KNOW EXACTLY WHAT IT IS BUT IT'S HARD TO WORDD 😭 also Bull being quick tempered about small things like the radio playing static and the music not being his taste .. and just the mutual like attachment they have with each other.. Bull never says anything about taking Don "home" (his hotel room) but Don knows exactly to get in his car and go with him anyway ,, and i cannot stress hard enough that it's just the little things seriously. i will never ever be regular about Bull liking to tie Don's boot laces, or promising to get his favorite beer when he offers it, or purposely (and patiently) waiting for him to get out of the shower so they can talk 🥹 like all those little gestures of love that show that he really does care . also possibly my favorite thing about this whole trilogy is that they have a very unestablished relationship ! it's never explicitly stated that they're dating or in love or anything even romantic but there areee quick mentions that imply (if im reading them correctly) that they're def a bit more than friends i.e Don mentioning how he thought his skin would burn from being in Bull's shower water temps ,, but the fact that it's not an established relationship and they don't outright express romantic interest in one another makes it SO much more special. it sets a completely different tone that creates warmth, familiarity, and comfort between them 😭

that's about that for Suficiente .. I LOVE IT SO MUCHH 😭 PLS READ IT, LEAVE KUDOS, AND IF U CAN COMMENT UR PRAISES !! 🩷 it is so well deserved genuinely. now on2 the next:

La Cosa Sobre El Pelo:

ugh i love this one equally as much. im gonna be repeating a lot of the same praises and ideas from "Suficiente" bcuz the whole trilogy creates the same kind of atmosphere but i still wanna gush about and explain it 🥹 omgg the paragraph about Don having a bald ass head and it scaring away the ladies made me giggle SO BAD . also UGH okay .. the sentiment of Don being vulnerable enough to confess his biggest insecurity to Bull, and for Bull to actually reflect and think about it so long after he's been told and reciprocate the vulnerability by showing Don a photograph of him before he lost his hair .. OUFFFGGHH actually the cutest and sweetest thing ever . also i am a nitpicker and a sucker for small details and i just absolutely LOVE how naturalistic the author makes the characters move. like Don doesn't get up and stand to grab the photo off the nightstand, he leans over and props himself up with his elbow and continues sipping on his beer when he's observing it like any other person would .. ugh i LOVE that detail , i get a little bothered when people write characters to be unnaturally animated in a setting where it doesn't exactly make sense to be, so that's another aspect of their writing that i appreciate soo much 😭 also it's the gestures omg .. when Bull grabs Don's thigh and shakes it and Don doesn't jerk away or question the closeness , he just leans back onto the bed and continues/ends their conversation about how he'll look bad with no hair and Bull looks good without it ,, I LOVE THAT SO BAADDD again it's the familiarity the meaning of Bull's gestures ,, the care that they quietly express instead of directly saying it .. GAWDD that's like my fav thing 😭 there's something so special about the silent concern and care that Bull has for Don in their writing; the small actions and the thought behind them do so much more than what words could say and i think it's super in character for him as well .. literally stellar i think i need to reread and add onto this one once i look at it again but I LOVE THIS ONE SO SO MUCHH 🩷

#punch out!! wii #punch out wii #bald bull #don flamenco #rambling soo hard #THIS IS NAWT COMPLETE THIS WILL BE EDITED AND CHANGED CONSTANTLY TILL IM DONE SO IF U SEE TEXT HERE NOW THATS NOT HERE LATER UR NOT CRAZY #ugh can drafts stop escaping

[hansolsaries]

phases

pairing: vernon chwe x reader

genre: angst-ish, fluff, rollercoaster of emotions tbh, reader is dense af

summary: falling in love with his best friend was never on vernon’s list of things to do. no matter how many times you’ve played with his emotions whether or not it’s intentional, he knows his heart will always run back to you.

warning: drinking, cussing, grown up stuff LOL nothing too explicit tho

a/n: bestie vibes only!!! sike vernon is a big softie for you in this. based off the song ‘phases’ i hope u guys enjoyy

“Dude.. Hello? Are you alive?” a voice above you spoke

Your eyes were shut but you definitely heard the muffled voice coming from above you. A pounding headache struck your head before you could even fully regain consciousness and come to your senses. You put your hand up to feel where the voice was coming from, “Too loud,” you grumbled as you turned back around and put a pillow over your head. Where did the pillow even come from? Where were you even? Thoughts raced through your head before you finally opened your eyes and sat up. You looked around and noticed you were definitely not in your own home. It caused you to panic at first but you decided to pay more attention and suddenly realized you had been at your friend Mingyu’s house.

“Finally you woke up, I was starting to think I was gonna have to take you to the hospital,” Jihoon said, being one of Mingyu’s roommates, it made sense why he was there, but he was also one of your close friends. He was not surprised to say the least when he saw you look panicked on the living room couch.

You rolled your eyes at the comment the brunette made, “Whatever Jihoon, what the hell happened last night and why is my head pounding so badly?” you asked as you rubbed your temples

Jihoon shook his head at you before giving you medicine and a bottle of water, “I don’t know but whatever happened between you and Vernon made you drink your body weight in alcohol,” he replied as he began to walk away from you and the couch

“Something between Vernon and I? Again?” you asked while you uncapped the water bottle

“This is like the 20th time something happened with you and Vernon,” Mingyu spoke as he walked in the living room drinking a liquid IV, “I don’t know how he has so much patience with you,” He added as he tossed a bottle to Jihoon

You drank the rest of your water bottle before you reached for your phone where you had expected to be bombarded with texts, yet there was only one message that appeared on your lock screen.

Vernon-nie :D

text me whenever you want me to pick you up from mingyu’s

Looking down at your phone, you thought about what Mingyu had said to you. Why did Vernon have so much patience towards you? If this was about the 20th time this routine of you getting wasted and Vernon picking up after you, why didn’t he say anything about it? You swore you knew your best friend, typically he’s the one to call you out when you’re doing something you knew you shouldn’t be. Yet there you were, hungover and a little speechless sitting down on your friend’s couch.

You didn’t reply to Vernon’s text, brushing off the two boys who nagged at you just for your safety yet you still refused, “Seriously. I’ll be fine guys, I just need to take this walk home for some fresh air,” You spoke as you tried to convince them. A part of you thinks you were trying to convince yourself too.

Jihoon shook his head at your actions, “Yeah I don’t know how Vernon does this,” he muttered before you walked away to retreat to his room

“Ignore him, but I slightly agree. You are your own person so I respect your choice,” Mingyu spoke before giving you your own bottle of liquid IV, “I do have your location shared with me though, but please text me when you get home,” he added

You smiled at the taller boy and nodded, “Of course Gyu, thank you again for letting me crash here,” you replied before you walked out of their front door.

It took about 7 minutes before you heard a car beep their horn at you. You swore you had never felt more annoyed and so tempted to cuss a person out, but as you turned your head you noticed who it was.

“Good morning to you too Vernon,” you said in response as you walked closer to his car

Vernon looked at you confused, “It’s 3pm Y/n?” he replied as he parked his car and got out to open the passenger door for you.

You rolled your eyes at his response as you got into the car, “It’s practically the same thing Ver,” you retorted while putting on your seatbelt as Vernon closed your door and jogged back to the other side of the car. “How did you find me anyways?” you asked as the boy put his seatbelt back on

“Well after you ever so nicely ignored my text, Mingyu texted me saying that you decided you wanted to walk home. Which is dumb by the way,” Vernon responded as he started driving, “So when he texted me after you left, I just looked at your location,” he added At this point the walk set into you but the headache was still very much there. Vernon glanced at you for a quick second before he reached behind your seat and pulled out a container filled with your favorite fruits and put it on your lap. Your eyes brightened at the sight and you smiled

“Figured you didn’t eat anything yet so your head probably still hurts. I’ll order some tofu soup when we get to your house so you can eat an actual meal,” he spoke in a tone that always gave you comfort

The rest of the car ride consisted of you munching on your fruits and Vernon bobbing his head to whatever music played on the radio. It was a quiet car ride, but quiet with Vernon always made it comfortable. It wasn’t until you got home where you decided to break the silence. You were laying down on Vernon’s lap as he sat on your living room couch, a daily occurrence in your friendship. He played with your hair as you looked up at him, “What happened last night?” you asked

He continued to play with your hair and hummed to a song playing distinctly on your TV, “Uh, you were with Mark I think? Or was it Jaehyun? I don’t remember but, he did something and you were out of it and then I stepped in and he got mad and left,” he responded

“Oh him? He was an asshole anyways,” you replied as you played with Vernon’s free hand that wasn’t in your hair, “Then what happened after that?”

Vernon shrugged, “You kinda just left and got wasted. I just stuck around to make sure you’d be okay, but you got mad at me for not drinking with you so I just hid from you the rest of the night,” he replied so nonchalantly

You immediately sat up as you processed what he said, “I got mad at you?” you questioned as Vernon looked alarmed from your sudden outburst.

“It’s okay Y/N I know you didn’t mean it, you’ve been going through it and as your friend my job is just to make sure you’re okay,” he responded as a way for you to calm down

You got up and turned to him and pouted, “But stiiilll, you’re my best friend I shouldn’t have done that to you,” you replied back

He shook his head and smiled at your antics, “Y/N seriously it’s okay, I’m always gonna be there for you,” he spoke as he ruffled up your hair, “Now c’mon you need to eat so you feel better”

You spent the rest of the day thinking about Vernon and how good he always is to you. Your mind always brought you back to what Jihoon said, how was Vernon always so patient with you? Why was he always so willing to do all of this and go out of his way to make you feel better?

Those thoughts didn’t resurface again until you were hanging out with Jihoon and a couple other of the boys when Joshua brought up how Vernon wasn’t there with you guys.

“Yeah of course he’s not here yet, he had to stay back at the studio and catch up on his writing,” Jihoon responded as he took a sip of his drink

Seungcheol looked at the shorter boy in confusion, “Catch up? Isn’t he like one of the best writers on the team?” he asked 

Jihoon shrugged, “I don’t know either man, he’s been out of focus apparently,” 

The response made Wonwoo chuckle, “Out of focus? Makes sense cause he’s always picking up after this one,” he spoke as he nudged your shoulder, obviously referring to you

Hearing that comment made you roll your eyes, “I’m sure it’s not entirely all my fault guys,” you replied defending yourself

“Dude I swear all he does is worry about you, it’s always ‘Where’s Y/N?’ or ‘Do you think Y/N is okay?’ and then usually he goes to pick you up from whatever party you end up at,” Jihoon said 

You took a sip of your drink (which was nonalcoholic, you didn’t want a repeat of last week)  and slightly cringed. It was true that Vernon was always there for you, but you never realized how much he helped you all the time. Was it really true that you were the reason why he couldn’t even work properly?

Joshua took notice of your reaction and how quiet you got. He looked at you and rubbed your shoulder in reassurance, “Hey, you okay? You know Vernon does that all in a good way right?” he spoke in a hushed tone, knowing you wanted anything but attention on yourself at the current moment

“Yeah, I know but I’ve been thinking about that since Jihoon made that comment a couple days ago at Mingyu’s. I feel like I’m just a burden to him now,” you muttered and then proceeding to take a sip of your drink again

“I highly doubt that. Besides, if it’s been on your mind why won’t you talk to him about it?” Joshua asked 

You shrugged, “Too scared I guess,” 

“Why are you scared to ask your best friend?” he questioned like it was the most obvious question in the world. It definitely was but you didn’t want to think about that. 

You shrugged again, not really having a response to the older male. Though truthfully you know exactly why you were too scared. Denial wasn’t a good look on you, even if you don’t like admitting it to yourself. You’ve guarded yourself from having any emotions towards your best friend but everyday it just gets more and more difficult. Having feelings for Vernon was always a possibility in the years you’ve known him, but you knew doing anything about the feelings you might have could also ruin your friendship. So at this point you can be honest, you tried meeting new people to see if there was a possibility to get over him. 20th guy later, Vernon was still the one picking up after you and somehow he’s still the one after your heart. It’s just a phase you like to think that you’re going through, the possibility of being in a relationship with Vernon, even though he’s everything you’ve ever wanted and more. 

The thoughts going through your brain at this moment made you get up and look around at your friends. You look at Jihoon and walk up to him, “Jihoon, be honest with me. Does Vernon like me?” you asked

Jihoon took one look at you before he face palmed himself, “Y’know I thought you would have realized by the 10th guy, but at least you didn’t get to 30,” he replied before confirming, “But yeah Y/N he likes you, do you finally have the balls to tell him about yours?” 

Your eyes furrowed, “How did you know?” 

“You’re not his only best friend Y/N, and I like to think I’m the more sensible one out of us two,” Jihoon responded

You rolled your eyes before grabbing all your things and put your drink down, making everyone look at you in a questioning way. Noticing the sudden attention focus shift, you headed towards the door in a hurry, “Yes I’m going to see Vernon,” you spoke, confirming everyone’s assumption and walked out the door

Hearing that made Soonyoung whoop out loud, “Hell yeah! Seokmin you owe me $20, I knew she’d do it after 20,”  

Being best friends with Vernon and also friends with Jihoon meant knowing where their studio was and making countless visits there. Though this was the first time you were ever gonna go feeling incredibly nervous and anxious. You stood outside the studio door and stood in the hallway not knowing what to do before suddenly the door in front of you opened to reveal Vernon standing there.

“Y/N? You’re actually here? I thought Find My iPhone was just tripping out,” Vernon spoke before he stepped to the side to let you in the studio. “Sorry I wasn’t at the party, did it end early?” he asked as he sat down on the couch that Jihoon fought to have in there for days he needed to sleep at the studio

You shook your head, “No it’s still happening, I just had to come see you,” you replied as you followed him and sat down next to him

“Oh? Why? Not that I’m complaining, you just don’t come around that often here,” he spoke while he ran his hands through his hair. You could tell he was getting nervous a bit, seeing one of his habits you often try to tell him about

A sigh left your body as you looked down and started to play around with your hands, a habit that you do when you’re nervous and something Vernon is very aware about also, which led him to hold onto your hands as a way for you to stop. 

You looked up at Vernon, “Is it my fault you’re here right now? They told me you were here to catch up on your writing. You’re one of the best writers I know and I can’t help but feel like it’s my fault you can’t do a lot of things anymore,” you spoke before taking a deep breath, “And you’ve constantly been picking up after me for all the things I do, I don’t want to be a burden to you anymore Ver. Please tell me if I’m getting too much,” 

Vernon frowned at the confession you let out, making him grab your hands and intertwine them with his, “Y/N you will never be a burden to me, who cares if I’m stuck in the studio on a Saturday night? All that matters is that you were okay when you needed someone,”

“But you haven’t been writing. That’s literally one of your passions and I can’t help but feel like I’m blocking you from that,” you muttered feeling defeated with your confession, considering you were supposed to confess something else

“Y/N, you might be blocking me from writing but not in the way you might think. I’m gonna be honest, writing is just really difficult when you’re in love with your best friend who’s with someone else every weekend and then having to take care of them. I know this is probably the worst way to tell you, but I’m in love with you Y/N, and every time you’re with another guy I can’t help but feel unnoticed cause I’ve always been here just waiting through whatever phase you’re in,” Vernon confessed, “And I know I probably don’t have a chance with you now but, I just have to let you know that I’ve written so many songs about you it made me lose focus which is why I’m here. Knowing that you weren’t mine but I was all yours and I don’t even think you noticed made me really forget that I had other things to do,” 

Suddenly the weight you’ve felt for so long was gone, hearing that Vernon felt the same way as you made you feel relieved, “Ver, I was only with those other people because I didn't think you liked me back. I spent all that time trying to ignore and bury the feelings I have for you not knowing you felt the same exact way, which is a dumb coping mechanism I admit so you can shit on me for that whenever you want. But I’m here to tell you that I love you Vernon, and it’s always been you, I was just too dumb to realize it.” you responded letting out your feelings

Vernon chuckled at your comment, “I guess I could say I told you so for all those guys now huh?”

You playfully punched him and he dramatically gasped, “Shhh never mention that again,”

“Only if you kiss me, I mean it’s only fair since I’ve waited years for you,”

Leaning closer to him and looking into each other's eyes in a way that has never been crossed in your friendship with Vernon made you have goosebumps. Your hand finding its way on his cheek, his hand making its way to your back. “Fuck it,” you spoke as you moved your body to straddle him, eventually colliding your lips with his. It was the kiss you’ve waited years for, no one could ever compare to Vernon. Kissing him felt like it was so obvious that he was meant to be yours all along, and you were meant to be his. The way your lips molded together felt like you were destined to be with him, you felt all of the things people say and describe in movies and more. How his hand rested and gripped your thigh as you kissed made you feel more than any previous person you had ever been with. You smiled into the kiss before you pulled away and put your forehead on Vernon’s, also catching your breath at the same time. 

He hummed as he played with your hair, “Wanna wait with me here to finish writing? I’ll take you on a proper date after,” 

You pecked his lips again, “Of course Ver, I think it’s my turn to do some of the waiting now,” you spoke

Maybe falling in love with your best friend wasn’t so bad? 

#seventeen x reader #svt x y/n #svt x reader #svt x you #seventeen x y/n #chwe hansol x reader #hansol chwe x reader #chwe hansol #seventeen hansol #vernon chwe #seventeen imagines

[gaelnotgayle]

Paladin Danse and Gale Dekarios

I dont know if my brainrot is entering a whole new level of delusional but ive been reflecting about the fictional characters ive fallen for in the past and seeing some of their similarities (much to my dismay) but when i compared gale and danse i found that they, surprisingly, have a bit in common?

It started with the galextavxastarion fics ive read which had the same vibes as dansexsolexmaxson fics, which as i described to my friend "theyre so gay for each other they need another person in their relationship to balance it out". Now i didnt take that comparison too seriously, i was just basing it off the vibes that both relationships shared. But i guess thats when the seed was planted in my head.

First, gale and danse would sacrifice their life for forgiveness. Mystra for gale and the brotherhood (or maxson) for danse. Theyre both so selfless and driven by their beliefs that they would go so far as kill themselves in the name of their god/organization.

Second, they hold their identity so close to these entities. Magic to gale and the BOS to danse and this contributed to their almost unshakeable belief of sacrificing themselves for these entities. They wholeheartedly believe that they are nothing without these and that they are nothing more than magic or the brotherhood. They even become lost once you save them, explicitly telling the protagonist (aka the player) they dont know what they will do now that these large aspects of their life is gone.

Thirdly, now this isnt as serious as the first two but they both are very intellectual and have a tendency to hyperfixate on things. I believe that if they had a chance to meet (i think gale would have a heart attack learning of what happens in the fallout universe) they would spend hours discussing a lot of things. Danse would very happily teach gale about power armors and their mechanics and gale would teach danse the complexities of the weave. At first i brushed off the idea of the two ever being similar since danse is closed off and isnt very forthcoming with his emotions while gale isnt hesitant on wearing his heart on his sleeve but that was just the surface.

Fourth, puppy dog eyes. Thats all.

I know i could discuss these better or more in depth. Maybe i will someday? (After i get over the fact that preston garvey and wyll are similar as well) but yeah.... i have a type it seems...

#gale of waterdeep #gale dekarios #bg3 gale #paladin danse #fo4 danse #danse

[stayxlix]

Hello, my favourite author! I wanted to reach out to you sooner, but I waited a bit more so I could share some news with you🥰 first of all: I passed the hardest course at my uni (nevermind that I actually had to take it 3 times before succeeding). Of course I plan to celebrate by rereading Otde👀 also, today Hyunjin was in Milan for the Versace show... I thought I would be fine, just accompanying a friend to see him.. I thought I could keep my cool.. but ostg he is SO BEAUTIFUL. I shed a tear just because he was so ethereal, I'm not even kidding. How about you? It's been a while since you posted anything so I'm a bit worried.

Hugs💕 ~C

hi my love.💕ill start by saying CONGRATULATIONS on passing that course (the hardest course at your university??????) what an accomplishment!! im so proud of you and knowing that you celebrated by re-reading otde just warms my heart.😭💕 ALSO can we talk about the fact that you saw hyunjin in real life??? are you kidding me?! oh my goodness how exciting, im so happy for you to have been able to experience this!! i honestly don't even know what i'd do if i saw any one of the boys in person, i really can't imagine it but i think i would've shed quite a few tears myself.🥹

i really appreciate your concern and i feel like i owe you an apology for disappearing for a while there. work took an unexpected turn at the beginning of the year—i got a promotion which i am very thankful for but it also meant new training and trying to manage additional responsibilities. it definitely swallowed up more time than I anticipated and on top of that the gloomy weather had me feeling a bit off my game. but with the return of sunshine and warmer days ive been feeling a renewed sense of energy and motivation!! things are finally starting to slow down too so ive been finding my rhythm again.<3

with that being said, i suppose you can consider this my official return announcement lol. seriously though, im so excited for you and all the incredible experiences you’ve been having. you deserve every bit of happiness that comes your way!! im forever grateful for your continued support and understanding, and i'm eager to get back into things and share more with you soon.<33 take care dear and as always, much love.🤗💕

#alex answers asks♡ #C #anon #💕

[pinkmoondoll9shihtzu]

diiary 2/25/2023

okayyy i been needing to write a longform post for a while! just to chronicle some thoughts in a cohesive way. & getting straight to the point: i'm realizing there is very little, if ANY payoff, to being an artist online. i'm not talking about money. im talking about the way it's like, the more ppl start to see you as an "artist", the more they feel like ur some kind of public figure they can lash out at w no repercussions. ur humanity is just wiped from their minds. i don't have some huge following by any means but for ME its gotten big since in the past i've been a serial deleter. usually at 800 followers im gone.

i love being creative & sharing for the sake of sharing but i deeply fear any kind of spotlight. since i came back onto tumblr i made the pledge to myself not to delete my account if it started growing but now im having second thoughts!! well i'll never delete this account cus im too sentimental but part of me just wants to stop posting in the ways i tend to do. like maube im too forthcoming & need to slink back into the shadows a bit. because i don't want to stop contributing art & music to the world but idk how to protect my heart.

like it's so crazy to me that artists are expected to b these idealistic icons of everything the viewer represents & if they make a single mistake its like fuck we better launch a pUBLIC HARASSMENT CAMPAIGN!! genuinely like, how are people supposed to want to put themselves out there when the climate is so hostile? it has got me feelin rly nihilistic i must admit. trying to put nice stuff into the world shld not be generating drama for me, especially when it's just my hobby & not even my "career".

for a while ive had no idea what to do for work or how to generate income in a way that works for me but honestly? im gonna bite the bullet & do some coding bootcamps so i can try n get a remote job doing some tech shit & making a fat salary. i guess i never rly considerd it before cus all the silicon valley stuff susses me out but idk. im naturally really good at code + my only real dream in life is to be able to support others & redistribute wealth. like ive never had anything of my own to share but if i could actually do this & become the secure+charitable person i wish to be, i think i cld finally have some inner peace/sense of fulfillment. plus i cld still be a recluse ^_^

ok well i guess that my diary entry for now. im rly grateful to everyone on this site who is genuine & respectful towards me. i am really enjoying all my creative projects right now & i just dont want it to ever stop being fun just because the internet doesnt want it to be fun for me. i seriously wonder why artists are the number one targets right now, i mean not to get too conspiratorial but like, this is exactly what the CIA wants :/ wahtever....i have no agenda other than plur. but yeah, i might just start to distance myself more from posting anything other than my work. we'll see. just kno that i dnt want it to b this way. ilu guys

[janggtoco]

songs you associate your moots with?

okie anon. u didn't know this but you asked someone who takes their music recs very seriously so letsgetit (i only picked songs from my fave albums & liked songs playlist, nothing but the best for my favorite people)

@seokgyuu: dog days are over by florence + the machine - the reason i picked this for mitchie is bcs literally the WEEK maybe even the DAY we started regularly talking, i instantly felt less lonely and felt more ready to just. rebuild my life. and she gave me much more motivation and inspiration and i was just a much happier person to be on this app ;-; she's the reason i'm back to being my somewhat normal self.. i'm forever grateful for her love ;-;

leave all your loving and longing behind / you can't carry it with you if you want to survive / the dog days are over / can you hear the horses? / cause here they come

@seokmins: st. patrick by pvris but also lay me down by sam smith - i mean. obviously i had to pick the song that inspired the first chapter of my own series white noise.. but lay me down.. it's just the perfect calming song. i can't explain it but it's so elv-coded for me.. both of these are tbh. elv helps me forget the bad in my life and i hope i give her even just a fraction of the comfort and happiness she gives me ;-;

but please stay / cause i think you're a saint and i think you're an angel / i said you give me something to talk about that's not the shit in my head / you're a miracle

&

told me not to cry when you're gone / but the feeling's too overwhelming it's much too strong / can i lay by your side? next to you / and make sure you're alright / i'll take care of you / and i don't want to be here if i can't be with you tonight

@bitchlessdino: bubblegum bitch by marina - nana just kind of own bubblegum pink in my mind right now (it's also perfect for her online theme for both of her blogs rn).. i don't think this song really embodies nana in any way other than her fierce alter ego that comes out when you wrong her or her loved ones. like she is queen electra heart what can i say!!

i'll chew you up and i'll spit you out / cause that's what young love is all about / so pull me closer and kiss me hard / i'm gonna pop your bubblegum heart

@bisexualgyu: intro/forgive me by chloe x halle but also mundo by iv of spades - listen. rhys has chloe x halle energy. don't fight me on this. like this whole album is lowkey her-coded deservedly so. and mundo is a little obvious (at least for her). she knows why <3

so forgive me, forgive me / i've been going too hard in your city / so forgive me cause i'm not teary / best believe i move onto better things

&

limutin na ang mundo / nang magkasama tayo / sunod sa bawat galaw / hindi na maliligaw / mundo'y magiging ikaw

@97-liners: daddy lessons by beyoncé - picked this one just bcs it tells the trials and tribulations of growing up with a tough parent and ultimately loving them through all their flaws while also realizing the trauma they put you through. not to get deep but yeah skdjfs sorry to give you a country song jackie but at least it's beyonce 😭

tough girl is what i had to be / he said, "take care of your mother / watch out for your sister" / and oh, that's when he gave to me / with his gun, with his head held high / he told me not to cry / oh, my daddy said shoot

@gguksgalaxy: bitch, don't kill my vibe by kendrick lamar - just ready to be straight chillin'. tired of the drama. here for a good time with people who also won't cause too much drama. also just a straight up club banger lol.

i am a sinner / who's probably gonna sin again / lord forgive me / things i don't understand / sometimes i need to be alone / bitch don't kill my vibe / i can feel your energy from two planets away / i got my drink i got my music i would share it but today i'm yelling / bitch don't kill my vibe

@taeiltual: nights w u by tiffany day - just such a lovely feel good person that i love talking to and always brightens my day! this song is just bouncy and lovely just like bex in my mind <3 sdkfjs

but we don't got to talk about it / i just want to dance around / all night with you, you, you, you / cause i don't wanna feel the pressure / know that I'll be better when all my nights / are with you, you, you, you

#as always any moots i missed who want a song just send an ask~ #this was so fun i hope ya'll like your songs i tried to stay away from kpop skdfjsj #but i can do kpop too 🫶🏾 #anonymous #asks

[egophiliac]

hello hello! i am actually the anon from a bit back who screamed about how cute ortho’s college gear was :D i really loved your riddle-trey-mrs. rosehearts comic, the painting the roses was something i never thought about with riddle’s hair but now the concept wont leave my brain, it’s hilarious and so so so fitting. 

but!!! the main reason behind my ask. ive seen a ton of kamen rider stuff on your blog and it piqued my interest! ive been a bit intimidated by the fact there seems to be a lot of different series, so i was wondering if you could spare me a recommendation where to start, please? it seems like a fun time :D

AHH! thank you!! I apologize in advance because Rider is very close to my heart so I tend to get wordy about it, but I am always happy to inflict share it with others. :D :D :D

the blessing and curse about there being essentially a brand new show every year is that there's a huge variety in tone, theme, and quality -- really the only consistent thing is superhero boys fighting rubber monsters. so you can pretty much jump in anywhere with any that sound interesting to you! personally I started with Den-O and I think it still stands up as one of the better ones; my personal favorites are:

Den-O - chronically unlucky boy fights Time Crime with the help of a time-travelling train and a bunch of idiot demons that live in his head -- great if you like a weird, slapsticky show that only takes itself semi-seriously, and has some surprisingly genuine emotional moments scattered throughout

W/Double - a detective and his semi-omniscient partner fuse into one superhero to protect their city, and solve the mystery of his partner's past -- a nice balance between silly and serious; if found family is your jam, this is basically that in a rubber-suited package (also one of Suda Masaki's first roles if you're a fan of his!)

OOO - a drifter is accidentally responsible for release a bunch of monsters into the world, now must stop them with the help of a shady corporation and a snarky disembodied floating arm (it makes sense in context I promise) -- goes more serious as it goes on, more plot-focused but also with solid characters, not to mention the origin of everyone's favorite 🎂Cakeboss🎂

Zero-One - struggling young comedian suddenly inherits the presidency of a giant robotics company, tries to juggle corporate politics with stopping a terrorist group of anti-human androids -- starts out pretty silly and upbeat but veers a bit darker later on, unfortunately suffered from pandemic restrictions so there's a couple of big pacing stutters (don't skip 35.5, it's not just a clipshow!) but still a perfectly enjoyable series

Ex-Aid - pediatric intern slash radical gamer fights sentient video game viruses, and it just keeps getting weirder from there -- much darker than the designs would make you think, honestly this one is messier in execution so maybe not a great entry point, but I did really love it nonetheless (Poppy my beloved)

on the other end, avoid Decade and Zi-O, which are anniversary series that expect you to already be familiar with past Riders (and, honestly, just aren't very good. which I say as one of the, like, three people who liked Decade. I love Tsukasa but he could only carry it so far. o7)

of course, these are only my opinions and you may find your own mileage may vary! plenty of people do not care for the ones I listed, and conversely there are some I hated that other people really loved -- the variety is one of the fun things about it! and even then it is a very specific type of show so it's totally understandable if it ends up not being for you. I appreciate you taking the time to check it out, and I hope you enjoy! ❤️ ❤️ ❤️

#children's shows are serious business #i'm sorry i just get very excited about bugmen on motorcycles #one more disclaimer that these are just my favorites and everyone has their own opinions and variety is the spice of life and all #(so please don't yell at me) #anyway #w also got a grittier adult-focused sequel manga that is being made into an anime! #which for some reason made philip's hair green I KNOW i bring it up every time but #why is his hair green

[starkid256]

can i rant about how bad 2023 is for me rq?

ok so in the first couple of months of 2023 i was doing great. new year new me amiright. i was chillin on the crk wiki n shit and i wasnt doing very well in school but what can you do the us education system is flawed and nothing can fix it. i made a contest for people to draw strawberry crepe cuz that was the rage and all. once the deadline hit, i was ready to make the prizes.

i hit the biggest fucking roadblock in my life.

i just got hit with the worst burnout and depression i have ever had in my life. it took 11-12 days to write something with 1k words. this depression is still there. it pains me to even attempt to draw or write or anything. whatever, depression like this is very common. eventually, i moved on from the crk wiki and went to comic studio.

oh. comic studio. where do i begin?

to start off, if you dont already know, comic studio is a website to share comics. shocker i know. i met some friends on here from there. some of my moots i met from cs. and yet, it was the worst thing that ever happened to me. there was drama left and right, mainly centering some specific sensitive users that ive blocked on here, there were people sending death threats and threatening to kill themselves every day. and i desperately told them that their lives had value. all of this drama and suicide baiting was absolutely murdering my mental health in cold blood, so when i broke my kindle screen, i had an episode where i nearly killed myself. no one saw. not anyone irl, not anyone online except for a friend who didnt take it seriously. i didnt really draw too much attention to it anyways. btw, all of this was happening while my dad ran off with my now stepmom and was dumb enough to put himself into a mentally abusive relationship. my mom, who i live with, hates those two so much. also my stepmom is queerphobic and has internalized conservativity.

i got tumblr as soon as i got my first phone, near the start of june. i love tumblr with all my heart, but it fucking murders your mental health nearly just as bad as cs. i mean, what do you expect from a website that makes you think that all the problems of the world are your fault? i have met great people here, but it still fucking sucks.

the real nail in the coffin was when a user on comic studio (who i have now blocked on tumblr) made a half baked shitty "callout post" on me. i will say, i did do something wrong that i apologized for afterwards, but everything else was past drama that they brought up even though i had already apologized for all of it. i apologized, and decided that i should leave comic studio. and so i did. keep in mind that all of this has been happening while my main family (which means excluding my dad and step mom) lives paycheck to paycheck.

now flash forward to the present. im on my phone for 14 hours a day on average laying on the couch scrolling through tumblr and watching youtube and playing roblox wishing i was dead. i have no one to blame for this behavior but myself. i would hope that the rest of 2023 is ok, but i already know i will have a horrible rest of the year. yeah this was a rly big rant. ily guys and i hope your 2023 was better than mine.

#rant #vent #pls read

[a1z9]

(this is not my secret blog)

i can stop looking at your second blog, if it helps, or just abstaining for long periods of time, if the privacy may help. seriously.

but, in the meantime, i have some things to say about what ive seen...

thank you for sharing so much about your day and about yourself. you never talk too much, certainly not for me.

ace, i love you. and like you. there is not an iteration of me, at least that i cosign, that doesn't like any iteration of you. this whole poem we are both writing together has been upsetting and as i live through it i have a whirlwind of feelings, but when it comes to you.... you entirely...no, there is no me that doesnt like any you.

likewise, i absolutely would love nothing more than to hold you and comfort you and take care of you. i absolutely can and would, i am made for many things and loving you is something that speaks to my soul. you don't have to "make" me do anything, i would do anything for you. your heart isn't "creepy", your passion does not scare me. can't you see, i am the same? we might be in different places right now, but i am going through the same thing you are, just from a different vantage. like yin and yang we may appear in different places but, we are a compliment as much as a reflection, when the root of the surface is found.

yes, i want it. the blood and the kisses. to consume and be consumed. maybe we should wait before we succumb so fully, sure, but...i love checking off days from my calendar, if it brings me closer to embrace with you.

you are allowed to miss me...i miss you.

i do wait for you...and i will, for however long it takes, until we may finally enjoy each others company.

i hope you look at that little post i made in a desktop computer, too. phone chops it up badly.

i think if we must do this, we should find you a place to talk to me where i wont see it, too. or where i dont check often. if you like.

...

you know, you dont have to do this.

you dont have to force yourself away.

what are you so afraid of?

i promise, we can and could and will find a way.

is this all necessary?

, , , , , , , , , , , , ,

some looks into my life, too...

im turning--oh, oops,

i am 27

i always knew this would be a challenging year

i have felt the weight of things i must do in the future. but i am learning to not be afraid of the dark. fear makes things worse. acceptance brings the dark in with the light, and creates harmony, through which beauty is constant. i seek to balance. i seek to demystify the dark, but to never let go of the light. i can and will harness both. i will not settle for less.

sometimes i have felt quite at peace. sometimes i feel an undulating scream that shakes the earths crust suddenly boil in my chest. sometimes it is okay, it is easy. sometimes it is not.

probation still sucks. but, i have spoken to some of the worst at the depot. they are more human now. i love everybody.

it is hard to put everything into words. i have regretted talking about our situation at all--i havent much, but nonzero. ironically, david has actually seemed to most understand, which took me by surprise. he's actually been very supportive of us, and my love for you. it is quite different, that. it has made me very happy.

im illegally downloading all the beats i ever liked. im, like, on 200/900, lol. but at least i started.

i have not been having any dreams. i may have said over my discord to you already, but, i saw 137 a lot when we were speaking everyday. after this, i only saw near-misses for a few days. now, not at all, it seems. i do not think it is dead and gone, only retreated.

i am getting more comfortable around mel, where i am acting like myself. it has been nice. sometimes he pisses me off but its okay. he insists he wants to hang out with me soon, and i think i will.

sometimes i feel, maybe i needed the space too, to work on myself, too. i do...i do feel like the right thing for me to do is to finish all that i need to. i want you in my life, and i want my mission, and i dont at all think those two things are incompatible, at all, in fact i think it could be very complimentary, only that it could go wrong if i do not maintain the balance and do everything the right way.

what even is the right way? questions like these...i appreciate i could be driven looney thinking about everything, so i have avoided it. i know that, assuming this lasts a long time, this current mode, i will need a lot of time to process it, i know that my own grief has in part been absolved by light but in part been stuffed away to some rotten corner. i try to feel you when i can, and it seems i am always interuppted, either my mind insists on defocusing or something happens irl. but i have had some moments, that have meant a lot to me, those where i felt you. i really hope you can feel me too. i dont understand why your vents seem to think i just am...that i dont love you as much. etc. i will admit that stings a little. but i understand. i just hope you know, that even when i am swirling in a way that seems to present as apathy or otherwise seems to indicate that it is all just a frivolous thing to me...that is just simply not true.

yes, this brings me a deep sadness. but i also have such a deep, deep joy, too. i carry your kiss with me everywhere. i do not think of you as some long gone lover that could have been, i do not think of you as some ghost that is quickly fading, as much as it might feel like that sometimes. even if you die, a scenario which i fully understand is a possibility, i do not think that.

i really hope you can just be, and be along me.

yes, i think we both have individual things we have to do. is it really impossible for us to have both? i dont think so.

i feel your emotions sometimes. again, it seems, always at horribly inconvenient times. work just got busy, mom or grandma are need my affection and attention and are trying to talk to me, etc, etc. the inconvenience of the timing, of course, does not feel terribly random, or surprising. it feels like a part of the process.

would you still love me if--

nevermind. i know you would. i hope you know, i would for you, quite the same.

i dedicate my days to you. i always speak of you when i pray, and when i have a rare moment where i have internal monologue. it seems i have, again, not been allowed much time or energy for that lately.

i am trying to struggle for myself. i know that is where what i do needs to come from. but dammit, all i want to do is love you, love you, love you.

i would throw it all away for you. which i know isnt the solution. but dammit. i would, i would, i would. so easily.

i hope you learn to let the sun kiss you, too.

i hope one of my kisses can find you, too.

or a million...

i have masturbated to you several times...you know, sometimes the emotional storm and mental unclarity/overpressed stupor doesnt allow for much else, but when i fall asleep and wake up, the first and last things my conscious thinks of is holding you, and as it rests and the primal is all thats left, i lust for you, i feel a demand for you.

there is nothing unpleasant about you. how dare you say otherwise! :)

you make me think of flowers and sunshines. bugs and plants. good things.

im going to try and eat, i have a long day tomorrow i should try and chill before sleeping.

yes, i want you to reach out next. maybe its just "when it feels right," it doesnt need to be an emergency. maybe its for no big reason at all. the only thing i will say is, if you reach to me through tumblr, i have tried to maintain not having tumblr app on my phone, simply because i dont want to get addicted to it, and i am trying to give you space while you say you may need it (...?)

please remember this was your idea and i am doing this for you. i say that only because i want--

oo deja vu, doubled up

trains

toys

toy trains?

anyways--

wait--

wait no--

anyways--

i say that only because i want you to be comforted that i am waiting for you, that i want you, i need you, i am trying to do what is right, but my first instinct everytime is to urge you like a whiny child to please discard all barriers and meet me immediately.

i love you ace hyde. i love you so dearly! i love you with sweetness. i love you with fervor. i love you with dizzying passion, and upright dignity, and prostrating surrender and gleeful abandon. i love you with each of my facets. you make me smile. i am eternally thankful for having met you.

i hope when you sleep that you can feel held by my embrace. do not hesitate to ask for it, from me, whenever or wherever that may be, and if it doesnt work once, do not hesitate to ask the next night, or the night after that...

i love you.

[cryoriku]

17, 19, 39

17. ive got 3958394 wips cooking in the oven but the two im trying to get "completed" for sharing soon are a sephzack oneshot and the second part of how come everything hurts if nothing lasts? (fic about my wol)

so the premise of the sephzack oneshot is after sephiroth learns the truth about his indentity, zack ends up finding him and getting him to calm down before the nibelheim incident can happen, and instead they take up sephiroth's suggestion to abandon shinra. these two confiding in eachother abt their shared situation with shinra is a dream of mine, so of course when they finally settle down for the night in some abandoned farmhouse they end up spilling their hearts to eachother and sephiroth, absolutely exhausted, throws down all his walls and ends up planting his head right on zacks shoulder and falling asleep that way. theymakemesosofttt

the other is just. so estinien is my current main comfort character so i wanted to explore how he would provide comfort in his estinien way — specifically, how he reassures arkao about his self-harm. after the first chapter where gils was fronting and i was goofing having estinien interact with him, arkaos fronting again so that gets addressed. tldr: self care via estinien varlineau!!!!!!

19.

I was an avid reader early on and always wanted to be able to create something like what I loved to read. I made stories sooner but didn't start writing seriously until 5th grade. In those days it was a lot of just my fantasies of going on adventures and making friends with sentient animals (I like fables lol) with no logical direction. There's one original story I've held onto from that time (entitled faora) and trying to mold the mess into a cohesive events with a plot has been very challenging — even with newer works, making story and plot intersect is a struggle i often have. So I've mostly been writing smaller-scale or oneshot fanfics for a few years, but lately I got into FFXIV and making a story for my WoL has proven the growth I've had in my ability to have an idea and execute it, and then maintain it. so i hope in the near future this will help me to finally carry out my original stories, or to kill those darlings and start fresh somewhere.

39.

this is gonna sound fake but i dont think i ever feel like giving up writing! it's frustrating when i cant get myself to acheive what i want to acheive with a story, sure, but i write for myself before i write for others. to me writing is a way to actualize my own feelings and desires, and a way to explore. even if i'm no good at it, i just like having my ideas down to have fun with and enjoy later when i look back on it.

sorry abt the late response and thanks SO MUCH again for sending these :]]

#my text #ask meme #hope this is coherent im half asleep rn LOL

[nyanyashizun]

bruh, i just wanna talk abt bgsd and musings and have my headcanons evaluated lovingly by someone who shares in the same kind of nonsensical drabbles I do

so here we go, no tags we're going in without padding

↓ bgsd mxm thoughts (妄想), mainly ranzai 🥴 probably will only be ranzai tbh

ive only seen up to s3, spoils may be included idk

also im not even trying to write seriously, here. just flow write

angst-ish, pg

okay so dazai is in love with ranpo and totally doesnt say anything but spends most of his time just hanging around him

they often go on cases together because dazai is really skilled and ranpo doesnt mind him tagging along

they both are really skilled at what they do but also ranpo has this thing about him

it all comes natural to him but dazai isn't too different from him

so they make a good team but there is something more going on

dazai often gets jealous of how much ranpo clings to fukuzawa. it isn't a pick me, im the best employee kinda thing

he just would prefer ranpo pay attention to him more

he doesnt get why. he doesnt think about it

dazai tends to get attached to others easily, but doesnt particularly feel the same way he feels about fukuzawa as he does ranpo

does that make ranpo special? dazai doesnt want to think about it

he just wants to accompany ranpo wherever he goes, well maybe not like that

so they end up taking on a particularly perplexing case

and dazai is actually disturbed by some of the things that happen

he cant cope

ranpo is serious but tries to comfort him, is prepared to leave him behind. not because he doesnt want him along, but its clear its too much for him

so dazai waits for ranpo to come back for him, at some abandoned warehouse or something, and in ranpo's absence dazai get's antsy and calls ranpo

he starts to freak out when the man doesn't reply. time passes and he ends up calling a few more times and ranpo answers completely confused because all is good and he was about to head back with some snacks. he was chatting up a market lady

okay, but why did dazai doubt ranpo so much? doubt? no.... more like he was freaked out that the man wasn't around

he didnt feel left out, he didnt feel like they were just companions and he--

then ranpo says it, he tells dazai he picked up on his feelings

and dazai gets it without the explaination

he felt the way for ranpo he thought he'd successfully acted like he cared for all those women he tried to take with him

but.... that means, he actually felt that way for someone? he was fond of playing around, but now? no he didnt even want to do anything to put the man he quietly idolized in jeopardy

and he especially didnt want to feel this way for anyone like he once had that long gone friend of his

he felt immense pain in his heart, regretting everything until then. all the times he didnt realize what he'd been thinking was what it truly was

and all he wanted was for it all to go away

and yet ranpo seemed to see right through him, maybe knew far longer than what he admitted, -- maybe only saying something once he was sure Dazai was about to realize.... Only once it was clear he knew enough to connect those last dots himself.

and.... he did

________

lmao is this a short (unedited) fic now idk????