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emypony · 8 months

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so uh- pls elaborate on ce!hua x sim!hua im here for the agenda

Anon I hope ur still here and sorry i took this long but i just HAD to make something for them. (and also....barking and meowing, drawing Fu Hua oh my god..)

This got heckin lengthy so I will be putting my thoughts down below in a read more <3

I ended up with brainrot 🛐🙏 alas...let me elaborate!! This if ofc in the context if ER was repaired and with new tech they were able to give the sims each their own body to continue living on as a separate entity <3

I will differentiate them by Hua and Fu Hua since it's probably the easiest. And speaking of them

Fu Hua herself has gone through many battles over the years and has met a myriad of people, shaping her into the person that she's become. Grief, Joy, Despair and Relief over the years have eroded her into her most peaceful version yet, more calm and collected and sure of herself. Maaaybe a little cheekier than usual (Senti's attitude has been rubbing off on her, unfortunately) but it's never in a mean way.

All the while Hua herself while having gone through the same amount of years as her, has not got the chance to be so out and about, but got her fair share of interaction from the visitors and successors that came to the realm. Her frequent memory wipes did slow down her progress however, so she's still closer to the original 'Fu Hua' that she was created from so many years back.

Hua was always unsure of herself and what her future would hold, wondering if her real life self would be good enough (would she, as a sim?) but she's never felt like it herself. After all, she's just a copy and that's what she's supposed to be, right?

And yet now that she gets to SEE what the real Fu Hua became, with the inherent knowledge that she's still there and has survived on despite all her hardships (which she would eventually hear about, as Fu Hua vehemently denied syncing their memories, for more reasons than one), it made her be overwhelmed with a multitude of new feelings - relief, admiration, sadness for everything she's endured, hope? for the future, and a new one that she can't quite elaborate on (these new bodies sure feel vastly different from being a bunch of data in a non physical realm, and that includes feelings too)

Unlike herself, Fu Hua now displays great amounts of patience, coupled with the suffocating feelings of kindness and softness (? once again an inexplicable feeling - how can someone act 'soft'! that's a physical feeling and yet it felt like the best word to use)

Of course all their time eventually spent together leads for more feelings of both heartache and inexplicable self consciousness- after all, Hua is just a sim, created in Fu Hua's image (not that the thought ever bothered her, she'd accepted it as a reality as all the others). Now that she's got her own body however, she can't help but feel inadequate being there. Would she be a fighter proficient enough? Good enough to carry the burden of the same name and face? Would she be able to live up to her legacy, her name and her greatness? Could she ever achieve what she did or would she just forever be branded as a 'copy' and nothing else. Would it have been better off if she'd remained deleted by the Herrscher of Corruption? The others are after all...not there anymore, so there would be no confusion to be made. They could carry on their real life counterpart's legacies without issue- but she felt like she was just not meant to be there. Fu Hua was still alive, so why the need for her, too?

It all culminates one day after isolating herself for weeks and becoming more and more of a hermit. Not even Pardofelis could coax her to open up, so who better to work through Hua related issues than Fu Hua herself? It doesn't take long until Hua confesses her feelings in regards to the matter of her existence, and Fu Hua can't help but smile gently, thinking about the amusing parallels between this Hua and Senti.

Hua's skin is burning as Fu Hua takes her hand into hers, and addresses her with the same tenderness as raindrops falling after a hot day. She feels tears prick her eyes as Hua's talking, about how despite being made after her it was so so long ago that it isn't bad that she's different. Fu Hua wouldn't want her to take after her anyway, it's better off if she would just be her own person. There is no need to repeat Fu Hua's mistakes, just to become like her. She's not perfect, after all.

Hua may be derived from the same starting point as Fu Hua over 50 000 years ago, but so much time has passed, and the two of them ended up being shaped by people and circumstance differently, and now she has sort of become her own person. It would be unfair to her own self and legacy to attempt to be like Fu Hua. There's no more Honkai, they have achieved their goal and she'd fought just as valiantly as the others. And that is enough.

here's where my general thoughts stop, but I do have other more funny ones in regards to Senti (and by extension Pardo, because now with a soulium body I'd just put them together like cheese and crackers).

Senti's views on Sim!Hua are also funny because:

Fu Hua: old timer. antique. do NOT tell me we're alike i'm going to start foaming at the mouth. smh my head she cant get it together

Sim!Hua: absolute baby lmaooo look at her. okay she is kind of cute and pathetic. yeah ill help her shes funny (by being a wet sopping scrungly)

I just think they would be interesting friends, and maybe a bit of an easy target for teasing (especially once she finds out that she kinda has a crush on Fu Hua). Obviously enough, getting dating advice from a Herrscher who has never dated is going to end in disaster.

Senti and Felis get together (i swear this is for storytelling purposes this time), all is well and they enjoy each other. Seeing them be happy and such, Hua finally allows herself to think of the possibility of at least confessing. "Oh okay so…a sim(?) and a. real . ? person? (debatable) Herrscher? can be together so maybe i can at least confess… i want to get over this" Hua wouldn't delude herself into thinking that there could be any outcome of her feelings, after all Senti and Pardo's situation was somewhat different than her own.

As much as she hates it, Senti is unfortunately the only one who knows Fu Hua enough so...by extension of asking Felis she has to ask her too and its awfully embarrassing because of how much teasing she expects.

Senti's the first one to react and she goes "LMAO no WAY. Fu Hua?!?"

Felis hits her shoulder. "Senti, be nice !!! this is serious!!"

Senti can't help but almost double over in laughter, but recovers pretty quickly. "Out of everyone you could've chosen smh…sure fine, it''s whatever I'll help you."

Hua was a bit. skeptical. "You're…not doing this just to gloat and laugh at me if it doesn't work, right?"

Senti had half the mind to think better on it. "Eh…I would say maybe, but quite frankly I'll do ANYTHING if it means Hua will shut the fuck up and stop asking me how Felis and I are going. If you confessing to her will get her off my case I'm literally willing to throw petals from above for added effect"

Suddenly Hua doesn't feel that great about asking Senti for help. But what's done is done, so she might as well give her best. Senti goes "Don't worry I'll ease her about the thought" and goes to Fu Hua and asks "Hey so how much do you love yourself?" like with no fucking context. Funnily enough, Fu Hua thinks Senti is trying to talk to her about not sacrificing herself if things get dire, so she completely cuts her off before she elaborates any further and assures her that she will never put her duty before herself or her friends ever again, all of them can rest assured!

Needless to say Senti came back with nothing to show for it except words completely unrelated to what they needed. Hua herself can't help but go "wow, she really is different from me, she's matured so much and learned to prioritize herself" and can't help but feel like she likes her even more, to Senti's absolute disgust ("Good God, you're down bad"). Mission failed.

Senti turns to Felis, going "yeah you know what. they're perfect for each other."

Felis smiles and clasps her hands. "Aww that's so cute, do you mean they seem to be on the same page about feelings?"

"No i mean they're both incomprehensibly daft and delusional but yours works too, probably."

Enough about Hua, we should probably touch on Fu Hua's feelings for comparison. She feels a strange sense of wanting to protect Hua- maybe chalks it up to it reminding her of her past, lost and full of uncertainty about each following day, of losing more people and more sacrifices being made. But those are no longer pressing issues now, so why does she still feel like that, when Hua is clearly capable of defending herself if something comes to be? It's confusing, but she doesn't dwell on it for too much.

...well, until it does end up being on her mind a bit too much, so she can only go to the one person that would understand AND knows enough about the person in question - Felis! ....and by extension (and to her dismay) Senti as well. The two share a 'there's no way this is happening AGAIN' look with each other as Fu Hua is trying to explain her issue.

She confides in them briefly. "I've been having these...weird feelings towards er, Hua. I'm not sure but I find myself wanting to spend more time with her and I feel like I want to protect her. But there's no danger anymore and clearly she can defend herself just as well as anyone else...so why am I...?" she seems lost.

Senti makes a joke which Felis almost chokes to. "Maybe you like her?"

Fu Hua blushes and almost gives herself away. "W-What? N-no, I could never, I...s-she's me- well, not- not really anymore no but she was created from me at one point...that... that would be wrong wouldn't it?" Well. it wasn't an outright no, technically...

Senti continues. "Okay HYPOTHETICALLY...if she liked you back, would you confess?"

For once Fu Hua doesn't seem so shocked about it anymore, she seems almost...melancholic, as if she's thinking about something that's too far out of her reach. "Oh please...she's still got some of my traits and mannerisms...she would know better than to like the person she was made after..." she chuckles longingly. "She's probably got a stronger sense of justice and morals than I have right now, I certainly have mellowed out over the years." Senti sighs, and groans, and almost hits something.

"Oh my GODDD I am leaving. I cannot deal with this you're TOO DUMB!!" and just disappears away in a flash of black feathers. Fu Hua is confused and taken aback and Felis can do nothing but shrug her shoulders because she too wishes she could straight up disappear right now. These two were so different yet so alike and it was so frustrating how stupid they were about it.

---

I've yet to think about how they confess - I'll admit my thoughts stopped there as I got one tracked on doing art for them, but if I happen to figure something out, I might do another post. Idk if I would be able to do a little one-shot though...........unless?

Anyway if u've made it this far godspeed thank you for letting me talk about them 🙏 they're on my mind fr haha.

#honkai impact #fu hua #hi3rd #hi3 #honkai impact 3rd #anon #ask #this turned into a huge thing but i think i like it lol #AND i got a really nice fu hua out of it too!!#yippee thank you for asking godspeed #and this better not be someone from my server going on anon to ask bc godspeed im gonna get embarrassed lmao

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m1d-45 · 1 year

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Let it be known that I love writing fluff, and I listen to character audios sometimes. SO! I came up with a cute idea for sagau imposter au. I heard somewhere that Xiao's adeptus form is a bird, so I wonder, what kind of bird? And that got me thinking. Xiao being a little song bird, or perhaps even a cardinal.

Now imagine: while looking for the imposter, Xiao stumbles upon them sitting beneath a tree, just feeding some birds. Said birds are absolutely loving the attention since the creator of Teyvat is giving them food and love!

Xiao watches, rather curious. The creator he knows hates birds, because they always dive and cause problems for them. But now... these little birds have completely abandoned any fear they may hold for human beings, happily landing on the hands and shoulders of this supposed imposter.

So he decides to test something.

Xiao turns into a small bird and approaches cautiously. In his smaller form, he's vulnerable to attack. But the person before him doesn't try to hurt him. Rather, they smile and call him "little friend" as they offer food to him. In his distrust, he bites them with his sharp beak.

His heart shatters when he sees divine blood spilling from the wound.

He's about to fly away, get as far away from here as he can. He found the true creator, and instead of worshipping them, he bit them! He caused them to bleed, he shouldn't even be near them-!

His mind stills when they pet his feathered head.

They murmur kind words to him, apologizing to him. They believed that they had startled him, that he bit to protect himself. They forgave him, they felt no hatred towards him, no anger or disappointment. Instead, they offered some chopped almonds, hoping he'd prefer that over bird seed.

He sang for them as he perched on their shoulder.

After that, he did his best to secretly protect the creator he'd harmed. He would adopt his smaller form and sing for them when they felt sad, and he'd use his human form to guard them from a distance. Yes, it made his chest ache whenever they looked at him with fear when they saw his more human form, but the yaksha only shook it off. It only made sense that you'd be scared. He was a frightening person, one that had tried to harm you before. He refused to try and change your feelings towards him. He didn't have the right.

He would be content to sing for you as a harmless bird.

-sibling anon (sorry if this is out of character for him I just like the idea)

oh….. he’s so soft…..

xiao hovering near the edge of the crowd, at first, drawing your attention since he doesn’t seem to be eating any of the seed you’d passed out.

when he finally hops within arms reach, you reach to nudge some of the food next to him closer, only to quickly whip your hand back. the birds around (on) you all flutter at the sudden movement, but you inspect your finger, the blue blood of teyvat welling up. your instinct is to stick it in your mouth, but that doesn’t seem safe considering a bird bit it, so you dab at it with a napkin.

the bird cries and flaps his wings, distraught, and your heart hurts. poor guy, you probably scared him, moving so quickly.

you pull out some chopped almonds from your pocket. the plan was to have them as a snack, but now… you put a few in your palm and close your hand around it, reaching forward to gently run two fingers over the birds back.

the other birds in the area seemed receptive to that, and this one does too, calming down considerably.

you take your hand back, opening your palm to drop the almonds on the floor, nudging them close before backing off.

“there you go,” you murmur, as the bird dips down to inspect the food. “i won’t hurt you.”

you allow yourself a silent cheer when it eats one of the almond pieces.

you see the small bird fluttering around you often, always on the edge of your vision. it’s easy to identify, the purple patch of feathers on its forehead easily standing out, and you’re always certain to push some food over to it. almonds, not birdseed.

the bird is a dark blue-teal, the underside of its wings a softer blue. it’s like no other bird you’ve seen in liyue, something that quickly catches your attention.

you brush some dirt off you as you stand, noting the way the bird immediately looks up from its food, unlike the others, to flap up into the tree you were sitting under.

you crack a smile, carefully reaching a finger for it. you’re slower this time, cautious of its skittish nature, but it lets you approach. when you carefully pet over its head, the birds eyes close.

your smile grows, and you try not to laugh at how confused the bird seems when you pull your hand away.

“i have to go,” you explain. “the millelith… they’re getting too close again. i won’t be able to see you again, little friend.”

the bird chirps, nearly indignant, and you do laugh this time. putting a small piece of almond on the branch in front of it, you wave goodbye to the other birds, seeing the blue one hadn’t touched the almond.

you frown. hopefully it’ll be alright….

xiao watches you until you’re out of sight, and even then, he stays on the branch.

you…. he’d forgotten you were being hunted by the millelith. he’d forgotten the order to look out for you. he’d forgotten the qixing called you a criminal.

who could blame him? it was easy to forget everything at your side, when you carefully ran your fingers over his feathers, scratching at his jaw with the edge of your nail. yes, he was vulnerable as a bird, but it was easy to be vulnerable with you. it was easy to be open, to sing as best he could in this form, to allow himself close enough to see the way your eyes lit up whenever another bird landed on your outstretched finger.

xiao dropped to the ground, morphing back into his human form. predictably, the birds cawed and flew away quickly. he watched them go, his mind contrasting it with how readily they flocked to you.

you…

he turned to the branch he was on, to the small almond piece left behind. the small symbol of your care, of how you recognized that he didn’t touch the birdseed and instead offered him your own food to eat. normally he wouldn’t lower himself to eating off the ground at all, let along bird food, but almonds weren’t awful and you seemed so happy when he ate..

xiao looked back to where you’d gone, to the sandbearer trees swaying in a soft wind.

he allowed his form to fall away and spread his wings, taking flight on the same breeze that urged you along.

perhaps he’d forget his orders for a little while longer, if it meant he could spend that time with you.

perhaps he’d forget his orders for a little longer, if it meant he’d get to spend that time with you.

#m1d : [chats]#m1d : [secrets]#sibling anon #bird!xiao shenanigans #btw he’s pretty in character #you can add a dash of a ‘mysterious calm in the air’ if you wanna be certain but he’s oretty pretty good as is #also! let it be known that i too like fluff!!#< been meaning to write a piece based on hugs ppl would give for a while now #dilucs near the top of the list which is kinda funny considering the shit i’m (hopefully) gonna pot tonight #post* whoop #post-valentines day sadness #this got WAY too long #forgive the old format i wasn’t gonna try n find more photos of liyue than i already have #writing this was hell. thanks tumblr. i really appreciate you glitching out my drafts.#i’m trying to save my writer energy to wrap up dilucs piece COME ON I DONT NEED THIS #had to write this on the website version of tumblr ugh. dislike.#anyway debating adding this to the masterlist bc it’s… so nice…#the vibes….. immaculate….#TUMBLR DELETED HALF MY FUCKING WRITING WHEN IT HIT POST WHAT THE FUCK #THIS IS WHY I WRITE ELSEWHERE THEN COPY PASTE TO THIS HELL #FUCK. IT WAS SO GOOD. WHY.#the last half of xiao’s part at the end is the bad shittier version of what i had written originally #i am bitter. but i guess i’ll have to die mad abt it.#ugh.#it cut off the last paragraph AGAIN WHY #hate. >:(#also mushroom anon send help one of my mutuals is doing a letter event in celebration of his 1k what do i do #ok it’s his 800 celebration but STILL HELP #whatever fuck it i’m done trying to get this to work #fuck it we ball

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sunflawyer · 2 months

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I really adore your blog and your OC is so adorable! You're really the one that got me kinda interested in self shipping, so could you please tell me how you got yourself to just... do it? I'm really afraid to be cringe or recieve judgement if I do something like that, along with breaking the canon kinda scares mr. I would appreciate some thoughts/tips on how to get over yourself lol! Have a great day. ૮₍ ´• ˕ •` ₎ა💗

AHHH anon this is super sweet!!! thank you for liking my blog and abby!! (⁠ ⁠◜⁠‿⁠◝⁠ ⁠) I'd be more than glad to tell you my story!!! 🧡💐

first of all: cringe is dead!! selfship is supposed to be enjoyed by you and yourself only. thats why its called 'self'ship!! you dont have to worry about what others might think of you. because here in the selfship community we're supportive of each other!! 🧡 id be more than happy to help you too!! <3

also, canon means nothing here! i know there are selfshippers out there who follow the canon storyline for their selfship, but there are others who dont! (like me!) i know it can be very scary to do that, especially if people from the fandom discover you and ask you stuff like "why is this like this!?" and believe me, it happened to me too. but!!! dont listen to them!!! it might sound hard, but if you believe in yourself (and all the people who support you) you'll eventually feel less scared! (｡⁠•⁠ ⁠ᵕ⁠ ⁠•⁠｡) its your story and your universe after all — nothing and no one can stop you!

i know there'll be moments of doubts, but trust me, if it makes you very happy and you want to do it, just go for it! you can start slow and do tiny steps, and i'll be here to accompany you always anon (⁠ ⁠◜⁠‿⁠◝⁠ ⁠)⁠♡ you can always go to my inbox to rant and ask me stuff!

and always remember! your f/o loves you lots and lots and lots and they'll guide you in every step of the way too!! 🧡

#🏵️ inbox in! 🏵️#mayo.txt #self ship positivity #this one is a really nice ask 🥹#makes me so happy!!! thank you so so much for liking my blog im so over the moon😭😭😭😭🧡🧡🧡🧡🧡#self ship #selfship #self ship community #you'll just have to remember that your f/o will always love you even if youre a tiny bit scared. theyll hold your hand and reassure you tha #everything will be fine!!!#because they'll protect you #and we will protect you too!!! 💗💗💗#huuuggss you anon!! 🫂🫂🫂

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brother-emperors · 9 days

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To begin with, your blog is AMAZING, WONDERFUL AND I LOVE IT SO MUCH😭

You are the main source of my late Roman Republic hyperfixation and I am GRATEFUL.

In one of your post you've mentioned that you have a crassus sulla playlist and since then I can't stop thinking about it. Can you pls tell what music you associate with these guys??

my top three songs for Crassus and Sulla are Hatef—k by the Bravery, Obsession by OK Go, and Seven Nation Army by the White Stripes! sometimes syudou’s In The Backroom when I’m thinking about those moments of Sullan style violence you see Crassus inflict, LUCY’s Boogie Man when I’m more focused on Sulla’s point of view. more abstractly, Daniel Licht’s Corvo Trailer & Polyphia’s Playing God. Anson Lo’s Money to zero in on specific themes!

and ABBA’S Lay All Your Love on Me, ofc!

shoutout to U-Know’s Thank U and Vuja De which also appear on my Sulla-Pompey & Sulla-Caesar track lists as well!

#when I’m really looking to tap into something I’ll put Depeche Mode’s Personal Jesus and think thoughts re Sulla to that #ask tag #also thank you anon! I hope you’re having a nice day 💕💖#this took a minute to figure out bc it’s my favorite band’s 20th anniversary so all I’ve been doing is listening to their live performances #and forgetting abt every other song I’ve ever listened to lmao #ABBA’s song was from someone else’s playlist and it’s SO correct I put it on all my drawing playlists now

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frnkiebby · 12 days

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he’s so goddamn cute i stg~🎃

(the game)

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cerise-on-top · 2 months

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Hiiii how are you?? Id like to request farah finds out reader is ticklish and uses it agenist them when reader is in a bad mood and being rude to everyone

(Sorry if this is really silly btw🫶🏻🫶🏻)

Hey! I'm doing well! Got a surge of motivation to write before therapy! This ask was just the right amount of silly actually! It was very fun to write!

Cheer Up Tickles with Farah

She’d likely find out when she wraps an arm around your waist and her fingers twitch a bit for a moment, making you react a little bit. Unfortunately, she’d pick up on that immediately, raise her eyebrow and give you a knowing smile. It’s a slightly cocky one as well, because she knows your weakness now, so if she ever felt like it, she could destroy you. Farah might poke you from time to time, but it usually won’t go farther than that. However, if you’re being especially grumpy for no reason whatsoever and you’re being rude to everyone, that might change.

At first she’d just poke your side, gauge your reaction. You can cuss her out all you want, she’s not going to let up just yet. It’s then that you can either cheer up and apologize to her, or feel her wrath and tickles. However, given your ask, you don’t cheer up, instead noticing, with horror in your eyes, that you messed up. Farah would wiggle her fingers at you before pouncing like a tiger that got its first prey in three days. Although she may go easy on you at first, letting you struggle so you feel as though you have a chance of getting away, there’s no way she’d just let you go like that. You can squirm all you want, you’re trapped underneath her since she’s a very strong fighter. You’re not going to escape her grasp, you’re going to get tickled and teased to oblivion and back. Once you’re calm, she’d start teasing you a bit before going in for the kill.

Farah wouldn’t even hesitate to be gentle in the beginning, she’s gonna get you good from the get go, straddling you and squeezing your sides. Try to throw her off all you want, you can’t. It’s fun to her if you struggle a bit as well, it makes it all the more challenging for her. While she may not know just yet where your weak spots are, she’ll find them quickly enough, staying in one spot for a few moments before switching to your armpits, for example. If you trap her fingers there she’s gonna have a field trip. No matter how much you’re laughing at that point, she’ll tease you about being less grumpy already and how you’re smiling like a goof. How adorable you are and how she should just tickle you more often when she has the time to do so.

Naturally, she’s a leader, so she needs to make sure all her loved ones are doing well, therefore she needs to check up on your ribs as well. Counts them, prods at them, vibrates her fingers between them to make sure you haven’t sustained any injuries. If you’re completely healthy, then she’ll say so, but she also needs to make sure your tummy is in good condition. Lifts up your shirt and starts scribbling away to make sure everything is in order. However, as time goes on, she’d grow a bit hungry and nibble at your sides and your ribs as well. Besides, while she may need to be sated, she also wants to share something delicious with you as well. So naturally, kind as she is, she gives you some raspberries.

However, once she notices your laughter having gone silent, or when there are a lot of tears streaming down your face, that’s when she’ll slow down a bit, before stopping entirely. Your dazed, cute face is just too adorable, though, so she’ll lean over to give you a kiss on your forehead and wipe away your tears with her thumb. Once she sees that you’ve been cheered up, she’ll get off of you, put your shirt over your tummy again and laugh a bit about how tired you seem all of a sudden. You weren’t this tired yet when you were cussing her out still. Pats your tummy one last time and helps you up, even if you don’t need her help. You seem out of it a bit, but not unhappy.

Farah doesn’t mind having tickle fights with you every once in a while. However, be warned, if you ever decide to tickle her first, then I can assure you that she’s going to get her revenge. Besides, she can hold her reactions in quite well. Much to your dismay, she’s also rather observant, so she’s going to figure out which spots make you scream fairly quickly. She’s always so serious anyway, so sometimes you just need to let loose and be a little goofy. Loves getting to be silly with you from time to time, even if it’s just through play fighting and tickling one another.

#cod #cod x reader #farah karim #farah karim x reader #tickling is such a fun concept to me. you get to make someone laugh just by touching them gently #you get to goof around with them and playfully fight them. it's absolutely adorable. but I know many people disagree with me on that one #still Farah as a ler would be a little menace as fun as it would be #I do think about the characters as lers more often than I would like to admit in all honesty. it's just so fun and sweet #besides just goofing around with Farah sounds like a dream to me #getting to be silly and stupid over essentially nothing is fun I wish she was real so I could fight her a bit #but alas #still I get to write about her having a good time and that's what's important! no angst in sight baby!!! just silly!!#I love writing silly and fluff! my favorite genres! I can vibe to that since it doesn't break my heart!#but now I'm off to therapy so I can't write too much in the tags!#thank you for the ask it was really fun! have a nice day anon!

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pcktknife · 1 month

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If it helps, I've been following you for a long time (i still call you jiang in my head since that was the username i knew you as lol), youre like one of my biggest art inspos and the first thing I do when I get paid is check to see if your comms are open and I just want you to know that u can see your progress in every single piece you draw even in your sketches it's so obvious to a fan that you improve with every piece and I think your art is so dear to me (at the very least) and I want you to know that I've always viewed your art as ethereal and it's just all around really pretty.I hope you learn to love your art the way I love it <3 have a good night and in the morning I hope you wake up to warm light and continue to have the kindness you have after seeing whatever post you saw that made you have a good outlook tonight :)

im gonna start crying agaiiiiin

#i dont really know how to respond im not good with compliments so all i can really say is thank you for the nice/encouraging words and #for sticking around so long. its really easy for me to go down like a negative spiral and get stuck in my own head about my skill as an #artist and i guess its nice to have an outside perspective kinda unravel those thoughts. means alot.#i hope i learn to love my art like you too have a good one anon #asks #anon

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dootznbootz · 2 months

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I went on tiktok to just watch some silly Odysseus videos but then I mostly saw people going like "Yeah, maybe Odysseus cried on Calypso' island every day but honestly he had that coming after what he did Achilles and Patroclous/Circe!!!" and "Everything that happens in Odyssey is deserved cuz he took Patrochilles to war!!!" and "I feel so bad for Circe and Calypso and Penelope, they deserved better!!!"

For fucks sake I beg you, read anything different from Millers bs and like educate yourself- And please stop goddamn saying that rape victim. deserved it.

Circe probably didn't give a flying fuck, Calypso is a rapist and abuser and Penelope deserved everything she wanted and SHE WANTED ODYSSEUS

I think I've had enough internet for today, imma go wash my eyes with bleach. Anyways sorry for ranting here, i hope you don't mind it lmao

It's alright. I absolutely understand the vents about the whole thing. :'D No one deserves to be a victim of such a thing no matter WHAT they've done. I hope your eyes are okay after the bleach

Like Odysseus does so many fucked up things but Calypso and Circe? He is the victim. Period. It's very clear that Odysseus is in extreme distress on Ogygia. And Circe wasn't some sort of FwB situation. There's fear and numbness in the language he uses when talking about it. There's so much victim blaming and it SUCKS.

While back then it probably wouldn't be considered SA but now? It clearly is.

Even then, Odysseus' journey was kind of about "temptation" or just straight up "Die or get out of my sea." From Poseidon. "I don't want you in my waters so I'm gonna try and give you things that will keep you on land or just kill you."

Immortal goddesses wanting you would be many people's dream come true but not for Odysseus. And I think that's the point. His determination, how he clawed his way back into the arms he never wanted to leave in the first place, is incredible. Many people would've given up and just started a new life but he never would because no life he could ever create would compare to the life he had before. Even if it's different, it's what he's always wanted.

He literally tells Calypso "I'm not stopping until I'm home. I don't care if I suffer more until I do. I'm going home."

“Mighty goddess, do not be angry with me over this. I myself know very well Penelope, although intelligent, is not your match to look at, not in stature or in beauty. But she’s a human being and you’re a god. You’ll never die or age. But still I wish, every moment to get back to my home, to see the day of my return. And so, even if out there on the wine-dark sea some god breaks me apart, I will go on— the heart here in my chest is quite prepared to bear affliction. I’ve already had so many troubles, and I’ve worked so hard through waves and warfare. Let what’s yet to come be added in with those.”

(Book 5, Johnston)

Circe's a goddess and what happened is nothing like Dionysus and Ariadne and Apollo and Hyacinthus for example. Circe never gave Odysseus a crown of stars and he would never go out of his way to kill 120 people for bothering her. They did not love each other and he can't refuse as she's a goddess.

If you interpret them sleeping together the entire year,(It's only explicitly said that they had sex once so that's what I go with personally.) that doesn't mean he was happy with it! Even then, the whole situation is not what a healthy FwB should look like! I'm asexual and even I know that no one in a FwB situation should have to BEG in any way that basically says "Please let me go or kill me" with supplication!!! The fact that he leaves so quickly he forgets one of his men? The fact that during Elpenor's funeral, he doesn't greet Circe himself? He was avoiding her. Wouldn't he want to get "one last night together" during Book 12 if they were fwb? 🙄

It's bonkers to me that people hate him for being a "cheater" when A.) having multiple lovers wasn't uncommon in Ancient Greece, and B.) the two people he is explicitly said to have "cheated" with, weren't his choice. He wasn't actively searching for pretty women either!!!

As mentioned, while it was common for men to have many lovers, Odysseus never had any listed unlike some of the other men. (not bashing any of them. I'm just making a point in comparison.) He also has no other children besides Telemachus in Homer's works. There's no evidence of him having other lovers other than speculation. (funny enough, I once read somewhere that the reason why Odysseus is so mean is because he doesn't "bond" enough with the other soldiers. 😂)

Does that mean he didn't have other lovers? Technically, Nope! It's just never explicitly stated either way. He has slaves but none were ever said to be concubines or that he sleeps with them. He has deep bonds with his fellow soldiers but that doesn't mean he sleeps with them. That doesn't mean people can't write or talk about him doing so even though it's not mentioned! Just like it also means that someone can write him not doing so as there's nothing that says it either way in Homer's Works! :D

It's fucked up when people say "He didn't try to leave Calypso enough" or something of the like. It just tells you how A.) they didn't read the Odyssey or have piss on the poor reading comprehension or B.) ...you should probably stay away from that person...

With Circe though??? I can understand the confusion but digging deeper and looking at the text, he wasn't having a good time. Or at the very least was walking on Eggshells the whole time. I hate bringing up that essay over and over again but like...I literally wrote everything there.

I also don't like how people take Circe's morally gray-ness away from her. Let her do something fucked up to be fucked up!!! Let her traumatize Odysseus!

Idk, I kind of hate that I'm "known" for this but I relate to this idiot asshole a lot and it means a lot to me that his story, despite what happens to him, has a happy ending :'D

#Thank goodness I don't have tiktok >:)#I wish there was a way to like. have anonymous posts? because I made that PTSD post to show how him refusing to be bathed #by Nausica's maids and him choking Euryclea and was giving reference to make a point but I wish I wasn't like. Known for this???#but like... I HAVE something to say. Having specific knowledge of some things just...really makes it clear in what happened that I don't #think others have considered.#And I was afraid if I was “vague” then people would say “You're just saying that to get sympathy points” and I didn't want to deal with #that :'D plus like in his outbursts I saw myself you know?#I just kept thinking “oh shit. I KNOW what you're doing because I did it too aAAAAAHHHHHHHHh”#I relate to Helen too but in a way. The Odyssey shows her “HEALED” (which fuck yeah!!! YESSS!!!😭) it doesn't show the #PTSD in the same way as she's had many years to recover. Watching it happen in “real time” for Odysseus was...really nice.#i said it before but the Odyssey feels REAL compared to the “girlboss queen slay” shit. Him tryiing to force himself into normalcy #only to act out is...yeah.#save me morally gray circe #ask #anon #Mad rambles #tw sa #tw ptsd #tw sex assault #anti madeline miller #anti circe #essay

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swordheld · 8 months

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how did u choose your username?

oh, this is a fun one!! i think i considered being swordtold at first, for that very ancient myth vibe of the sword being this narrative tool for adventure and structure and physical time, the parable being passed down through the centuries until it meddles into modern day rhetoric and ideology – a kind of fantastical tool, a spark of magic, of possibility.

i like the arc of the story of a place being physical / having it be held by time and hand alike, wearing with the years and having it become something different to each holder, each reader, each experience fantastical and individual.

having that kind of physicality to it; swordheld is the action of taking up and holding the sword yourself, choosing your own narrative, leading your own story. self-identity has always been something i struggle with (a novel concept i know, i know), so it felt right for this blog, since most of my older blogs before this one have been just me silently reblogging and never really posting anything myself, and i wanted this to be the change to that.

i've always had trouble wranging my social anxiety, esp. on the internet, and previously thought that keeping my words to myself helped keep the timeline cleaner, in a way, no messy thoughts for others to sort through, especially ones i believed no one would want to read anyway? but it never felt right, keeping myself apart from it all, esp. not in the way i so avidly enjoyed reading others' posts and additions, keeping their words close to my heart.

i wanted it to reflect that this was a space i was holding for myself? and i'm a little slow on the uptake sometimes, but this - this i think i got right. i love being here, on this blog, and the joy that it brings me. everyone else enjoying it too has been a wild ride that i never expected, and still surprises me, one that brings a little extra thrill to my heart whenever i think about it.

i had other urls that i liked, but i didn't want this blog to be tied directly to any of my fandom/story interests, since i wanted it to really just be a sort of archive of artistic inspiration and resource, like a little library or museum. i use them now as lil sideblogs of more niche interests now, which is rather lovely.

it hasn't always felt like it fit perfectly, the way that i'd like, but for some reason i can't think of really wanting to change it anytime soon. it feels mythic yet modern in a way that feels like puzzle pieces finally slotting into their place, something my own and inspirational to me, like a lantern i'm holding to make my way by. my own kind of light, if that makes sense – a star i know by name.

#q&a.#birdsong.#all of this is truly just a way to say: it's your blog! it's your party! do what you like if it makes you happy!! (and doesn't hurt anyone!#live your dreams!!!!!! do your own thing truly it is worth it. which feels silly and cheesy inspirational talk vibes but u kno. it's right #thank u for ur question tho !!! it's been so long that i don't really remember exactly what the beginning of it all was?#it wasn't always my url for this blog esp. in the beginning but i've forgotten what that was ghjk so sorry dear anon !#like little flashes of a story in my memory i have to make out / like steam or fog on a window pane. blurry and unclear?#but now it feels more intentional / almost like watercolor! something that mixes itself into a new thing; bright and bursting w/ it all.#i hope this answers ur question nicely all the same tho <3 #i always on habit write out lantern as lanturn so this is an unintentional shout out to one of my fav pokemon love u lanturn !!#some of these things i truly do just write out bc i know it'll make me laugh later if i ever come back to it. lil joys for ur future self !#and that IS a reference to the dickinson poem ' i am out with lanterns looking for myself ' it is in my brain always ! ! thank u ! !

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