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Hello! Finally and update!! I want to thank everyone for their patience, the @captainswanmoviemarathon, the Discord shipmates, and my lovely Beta @ultraluckycatnd and my talented artist @allons-y-to-hogwarts-713
|AO3|
|FFN|
Emma had been so disappointed after her idea was shot down. It had been a long day at work, so she only stops to get a quick snack at a 24-hour diner before heading to get some sleep. She opens the door to the hotel room she has rented for the week only to find it tossed. Her heart sinks as she runs to check for the money she had been saving to rent an apartment. The money was gone, all of it. They didn’t leave a single dollar behind. Her eyes water as she wonders what the hell she is going to do now?
Killian finally arrives home after a small detour. He is parking his motorcycle when he notices a body huddled on his steps. He removes his helmet and walks slowly to his door. The hoodie falls from the head revealing golden hair. Emma.
“Swan, is everything okay?” Killian asks as he helps her to her feet and opens the door to the apartment.
Emma sniffles as she follows close behind. She still doesn’t know why she came here. Lies. He is her closest friend, her only friend.
“Sit down, make yourself comfortable. How about a drink?” Killian asks as he pours a drink for himself and one for her.
“Yeah, I really need one.” Emma takes the offered drink and bottoms it.
Killian asks, “Do you need anything else? Swan, how can I help?”
Emma’s tears run down her face.
Bloody hell, he made her cry. “I’m sorry, lass, can you tell me what happened?”
“Someone went into my room and robbed me. I talked to the manager but he said they weren’t responsible. That I should have taken the money with me or hid it better,” Emma says. She can’t seem to stop crying.
“It’s going to be fine,” Kilian says and adds rapidly, “you can stay here.” The words are out of his mouth before he can think about it. Milah is going to kill him if she ever comes home.
“Really?” Her hopeful green eyes devoid of tears confirm this is a really good idea. “Aye, you can stay here.”
“I promise it won’t be for long, one night tops. I just need to sleep on it and figure some things out,” she smiles.
After a few drinks and a few arguments on who should take the bed, Emma is tucked in, stretched out on the daybed he has as a couch. He plays a song on the piano as she relaxes for the night.
She smiles, the music very soothing. “Killian, that is beautiful. Who wrote it?”
He smiles back. “I did.”
“That is really, really good. Do you have more?” she asks as she sits up.
“Aye, but they’re not ready to be heard,” he says as he finishes the song.
“Killian, why did you leave Boston?”
“Emma, why did you leave Maine?”
She sighs. “Well, because it didn’t feel like home anymore, and I wanted to follow my dreams.”
He smiled. “Exactly.”
“Killian, I’m really happy I don’t have to be alone tonight,” Emma said as she yawned.
“Get some sleep, love,” Killian says as he leaves the piano and closes the door to his room.
The next day, the sound of rain hitting the window wakes him up. The smell of bacon mixed with the scent of fresh-brewed coffee hits him and for a second, he is startled because he is the one that normally makes breakfast; Milah didn’t like to cook. He gets up and makes sure he is presentable.
The vision that greets him is perfect. He shakes his head as he approaches his guest. He scratches behind his ear when he notices her clothes, or lack of. She is lost in what she is doing to notice him ogling her as she simply wears a long, sleeveless shirt that barely covers her arse, her long legs on display. He was mesmerized for a minute, then clears his throat to get her attention. “Good morning, love.”
“Oh, good morning. I hope you don’t mind. It’s the least I can do,” she says, smiling.
Killian returns her smile. “It smells delicious.”
“How do you like your coffee?” she asks as she pours the liquid.
“Black, like my soul,” he answers as he takes a seat.
They start eating their food while enjoying some small talk.
Emma’s eyes drift around the room and land on one of the pictured frames. “She’s very pretty, your sister?”
Killian looks up from his food. He doesn’t need to figure out which photo she’s talking about. “Ah, that would be Milah, my fiance.”
“Wait a minute, you’re straight?” Emma stands.
“What, you thought I was gay?” Killian asks.
“Yeah, I mean you wear more eyeliner than I do. You own a daybed. What kind of guy owns one?” Emma states.
“In my defense, the eyeliner is a very straight look. Cora loves it and it works at the club,” he shrugs. “The daybed was Milah’s idea.”
“I should really put some pants on.” Emma goes to her bag to look for some jeans to put on.
“That’s probably a good idea.” He pouts as he watches her pulling on her pants.
“So where is she, your fiance?” Emma wonders.
“She’s in New York doing a play,” Killian says as he clears off the table.
“Well, since you’re not only straight but engaged, it is really weird I came to you. I should leave. I’m sorry I came here,” Emma says.
“Swan, you don’t have to go.”
“Killian, you don’t have to worry about me. I’ll be fine.”
“Emma, it’s pouring outside.” He blocks the front door to prevent her from leaving.
“It’s okay, I got a plan. Could you please get the door for me?” Emma says, determinedly.
He hesitantly opens the door.
“Thank you.”
“You’re welcome, love.”
“See you at the club.”
She steps outside, the rain coming down hard and the thundering is loud. She grabs a newspaper from the wooden chair next to the door, covers her head, and walks down the steps.
Killian looks out of his window, sighing. Bloody hell. Emma looks like a wet cat doing a poor job at staying dry. He runs out and before Emma can object, he picks her up bridal style and turns back to his place. They’re both drenched once they’re back inside.
Emma screams as soon as he puts her down. “What the hell are you doing?”
“You have nowhere to go, Swan. I have an empty couch.”
“It's just water. A little water never hurt anyone.”
“Swan, it’s a lot more than a little water, it’s pouring.”
“Killian, you’ve done enough.”
“I don’t care what you bloody say. You’re going to stay here for a few more days.” Knowing that she isn’t going to win this argument, Emma nods her agreement.
The phone rings and he smiles as he answers., “Hello, Milah. That sounds great.” He walks to his room and closes the door.
Days later at the club, the restroom is quiet until the sound of someone throwing up shatters the illusion. Cora looks underneath the stall door to see who has dared break her out of her spell. One look of the glass heels tells her she knows who it is. “Ashley, darling are you alright?”
“Yeah, it’s me,” she sniffles as she comes out of the stall.
Cora studies the girl in front of her and sighs. “Tell me you don’t have the flu.”
Ashley starts sobbing. “No, I’m pregnant.”
“Have you told Sean?”
“I haven’t, I’ve been so scared. What if he doesn’t want it? What am I going to do?” Ashley starts rambling.
“We will figure it out, but you have to tell him,” Cora says, trying to comfort the poor girl.
“Okay.” Ashley gives her boss a weak smile.
Emma continues to practice the dance routines every free moment she has because she knows a chance will come up. Her parents had always told her to have hope; that’s the only reason she is following her dream. For now, she will be the best waitress the club has ever seen.
Killian had proven to be such a good friend because he was letting her stay with him for a couple of weeks. The only problem with that is that she is enjoying his company too much. He is sweet and funny. Some days, she had to remind herself that he was taken because she was starting to yearn for something that couldn’t be.
Days later after Ashley's revelation, Cora decides to be prepared. Henry and Cora hold tryouts for a new dancer.
Emma walks in to find the stage full of potential candidates. Music is heard throughout the club; high kicks flying, hips gyrating to the music, hair flowing with each head twirl, all followed with a spiral roll into a final fan kick.
After the girls are dismissed, Cora turns to Henry with a raised eyebrow. “I didn’t love any of them. Where did all the best dancers go?” she sighs.
Henry is flipping through the portfolios for the club’s best match. He turns his attention to Cora and smiles. “They’re all Dancing with the Stars.”
The blaring of sexy music disrupts their conversation. They turn to the stage to find Emma moving her hips sensually to the music, her head flipping right and left. She is moving as if her life depends on it. Sadly she is putting her all into an unappreciated display until her intended audience dismisses her with barely a glance in her direction, followed by a disgusted flick of her wrist, halting her dance before it really even gets started.
Cora cuts the music off and starts to walk away.
“Wait a minute! I can do this, just tell me what you want!” Emma’s panicked scream halts Cora’s movement.
“It’s really sweet that you think you can. I know I don’t want someone that thinks auditioning for me is the same as a common strip club. All my dancers are professionals. What was that?” Cora said as she placed her hands on her hips.
“I know all the dance routines. I have practiced them in my spare time.”
“You have to make me believe that you belong on that stage and that no one will take it from you.”
“Alright, which number do you want to see?”
Cora stares at Emma. “You know all the numbers? Okay. Merlin, play Wagon Wheel Watusi.”
Zee, Ashley, and Tiana arrive just in time to see the audition.
The music starts and Emma moves as if her life depends on it. She twirls, shimmies her breasts, and when the music ends she stands breathless waiting for the verdict.
Cora and Henry are talking in whispers.
“You were off the last half,” Cora finally says.
“I can do better. I’ll practice every single free moment I have. I really want this. Please, I know I can do this. Didn’t anyone ever give you a chance?”
“Fine! You’ve got the job.”
Emma jumps up and down in excitement while several things happen at once.
Cora and Henry share a look.
Ashley claps excitedly.
Zee turns to Ashley. “You know she’s replacing you, right?”
Henry walks up to Emma. “Meet me in the dressing room in five minutes.”
The girls leave for lunch.
Before she can head to the dressing room, loud claps catch Emma’s attention.
Killian meets her eye and smiles. “Congratulations, love.”
“With my raise, I will be off of your couch before you know it!” She squeals in excitement as she rushes to the dressing room.
She misses the disappointment on his face.
Tag List:
@rumdrum91 @itsfabianadocarmo
@xsajx @hookedonapirate
@kmomof4 @searchingwardrobes @seriouslyhooked
@profdanglaisstuff @let-it-raines
@revanmeetra87 @snowbellewells
@hollyethecurious@kymbersmith-90
@branlovestowrite @thejollyroger-writer
@shireness-says @ilovemesomekillianjones
@thisonesatellite @thesschesthair
@winterbythesea @stahlop
@resident-of-storybrooke @superchocovian
@lfh1226-linda @artistic-writer
@thislassishooked @shardminds
@winterbaby89 @xhookswenchx
@ultraluckycatnd @gingerchangeling
@laschatzi @wellhellotragic
@xemmaloveskillianx @courtorderedcake
@pirateherokillian @optomisticgirl
@darkcolinodonorgasm @sherlockianwhovian
@andiirivera @djlbg
@nikkiemms-deactivated20201107 @jennjenn615
@scientificapricot @officerrogers
@imlaxdris71 @therealstartraveller776 @kday426
@allons-y-to-hogwarts-713
@donteattheappleshook
@spacekrulesbians @lassluna
@carpedzem @captainodonoghue
@killian-will-do @jarienn972
@tehgreeneyes @demisexualemmaswan
@queen-serena88 @swanslieutenant
@tiganasummertree @whimsicallyenchantedrose
@bethacaciakay @ohmakemeahercules
@jonirobinson64 @klynn-stormz @mariakov81
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I’m a throw back. John carpenter was quoted as saying that if he started his career now, he’d probably be rejected. That blows my ever lovin mind.
John carpenter is hands down my favorite director. His movies are clear, concise, and steeped in character driven realism. His pacing, deliberate. His action films, a staple in film history. No one directs like John carpenter, because he has his own POV. His vision of story telling is one that only he sees, and we get to experience. He’s so involved in his storytelling that he even composed his own soundtracks with collaborators. He has a complete 360 degree full compact vision of each of the stories he wants to convey. And when it was time to stand up for his vision, he stuck to his guns. That kind of dedication to one’s craft, and deciding to be authentic is a choice that not many people are comfortable with, or are brave enough to voice, especially in this day and age. John supported and stood by himself.
Age is not a factor when it comes to artistic vision. You can be 100 and still see things from your filter, and tell your story. (John carpenter is not 100... 🙄). I relate to john’s filter a lot. His anti-hero story of “Escape from New York, is easily one of my top 5 favorite movies of all time. Snake Plissken, a guy who tried for years to fit into a mold that wasn’t him. And finally, something broke, and he went rogue. But the decision to go bad wasn’t the story. The decision to survive in the corrupt society of what the world had become, was.
Snake felt isolated and alien to the world around him. He felt the need to separate to keep his beliefs and self in tact. He trusted no one. He had been screwed over by people, and ended up in the jail of New York because of it. He was a man who felt and believed fully that to fight the establishment was futile, and the only way out, was within.
He was quiet and stealthy. He wore his heart no where. It was buried so deep not even he had seen it for years. He was working mainly from a serpentine way of behaving, an animalistic survival existence. He had separated himself from humanity, and was treated accordingly,
I can relate with Snake believe it or not. He and I are semi similar in the way that I have hidden myself from people knowing the full and entire me. I haven’t let many in. I’ve been on a self imposed lock down, no one in, and definitely if you opt out by the way you treat me, you stay that way. I am a loner, and now I create alone too. My writing is a solo act, and I resign myself to the fact that even though I sometimes long for collaboration, perhaps it’s better just to stay at bay.
Snake was a guy who tried to play by the rules until the rules started to hurt. John may not agree with that interpretation of the character, because I haven’t discussed it with him, but to me a person needs to be affected strongly by something to fight against it. Why was Snake so affected by the state of the world? Something had to happen to make him turn his back on everything he believed in. He was brought to this decision by his feelings. And whatever happened, those feelings rocked his beliefs to the core of him. You don’t just flip the script for no reason. He was pro government at one point, then somehow it became very very personal, and he was out.
I may be a chick, but I am, Snake Plissken. We all are, in a sense, or have at least felt that way before in our own lives. Someone somewhere disagrees with our stance, our view point, our values, our beliefs. That opposition creates a discord from within. We become offended, unsupported, and misunderstood, then subsequently betrayed by people.The world has become very divided and separatist if that is the reality that we choose to believe. We choose to believe that because of how we feel. People feel, then think, then believe then react. “They are WRONG. Their beliefs, not mine.” Reaction is knee jerk. Fuckers... they can ALL go to hell.. decision made. Next. Hurt is real, and that reaction is due to being unheard, unappreciated, and not considered. It drives people to be the complete opposite of who they thought they were.
Life is an outward expression derived from an internal perception. If we can get a handle or at least become more aware of what we are feeling in any given moment, we can head off a lot of our own upset at the pass. In turn, we would feel supported from within, and other’s opposing opinions won’t be so detrimental to us. We can have more of an understanding of our shared humanity, and start from there. When things seem hopeless, start with what you can control, and that’s yourself.
People are forced to evolve with the passage of time. And people’s personal evolution is their own choice too. And their experiences feed those choices. Corruption, imbalance, persecution, oppression; all of these contribute to the whole. Not just a few are affected. We are ALL affected. I have recognized that within myself. Eliminating me from the equation; my feelings, my emotions, my whole self, has been affected.
Ignoring and being complacent not an option anymore. The world is connected whether we like it or not. Even a dude like Snake Plissken who wants to be separate, isn’t. Being human alone connects us all. The separation is what got us in this fucked up mess to begin with.
Snake isn’t alone. The world as we know it is full of atrocities and injustice. The world is unfair, and not at all in a place of peace. But our focus on that fact, within ourselves and in our own interactions with others only exacerbates the issue. Staring at something for too long makes it bigger, more obvious. The worlds issues won’t disappear if we keep making them worse; in our minds, on the news, in our daily lives. This is not to say that the worlds problems can be solved by turning a blind eye, cause that’s ridiculous. But by caring about ourselves, is the first step in healing the world because of the injustice that we feel personally. The love we can supply ourselves can affect he whole in an unprecedented way. It can start a chain reaction that is fierce. If we ourselves choose to focus on the good, we will feel better. It sound stupid, but to my point, I feel better writing this piece. I’m paying attention to how I feel. I’ll be done writing, and be kinder to my son if he gives me pushback about getting ready fo bed, and so on and so forth. We affect one another in ways we feel are mundane and unimportant.
Oh please.... you might think, she’s comparing Snake Plissken’s plight to fighting with her kid to go to bed on time. Well, it’s about respect, and it’s about love. Same emotions. If we all respected and cared about one another’s feelings, and felt that same love and respect in the world there wouldn’t be any of this mishegoss to begin with! So argue with that, critic! Well, that critic is going to go yell at his/her kid, or dog, and affect the world negatively in that way.
I joke about the critic and the dog, but not really. I care about how you feel, cause it affects me. I care about how I feel, cause it affects you. As a society we tend to over-complicate life. It’s actually pretty simple; be good to yourselves, be good to one another, and whatever that implies, do it. We make things so convoluted. Just be fair. Treat people well. The whole of us, is what we are lacking. Be the whole, and your life, becomes real simple in the best way. Love dictates it. It’s the best leader of them all. ❤️
It’s time to follow the love....
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ASKS 16
haha remember in July when I said I was gonna answer stuff every month... yeah me neither 🙈🙈 anyways lots of stuff under the cut
Anonymous said: You should get along with other Simblrs and start a new cc group now that PTS is disbanded, your hairs and clothes are always amazing! :D
Firstly thank you! Most of the clothing in AxA is 99% ayoshi with me going in after and cleaning/adding some stuff. So I give him props for the clothes :P As far as a ‘new PTS’ style group idk, there are a lot of amazing creators on simblr but I think the reason PTS was such a special thing is because the bond they all had. I feel that when working on collabs with some of my really close friends (such as the one coming out this month with @dogsill and @ayoshi) because we have known each other for over 2 years now. A group of friends built only for collabing purposes would be more of a hassle than an enjoyment imo. <3
Anonymous said: HELLLOOOO! just curious bc why not but what is your favorite creation that you have made??
It varies every month to be honest lmao. If you asked me to pick a favorite hair from each month? Easy, always the last release of the month. But favorite hair ever? Awwww shucks 🤠 lmao I would say my Madison Hair is one of my favorite hair releases, I am planning to revamp it soon to work with my Mia ombre accessories and tidy the mesh up some.
Anonymous said: hello, when will this collection be free for public download please? /post/186706149526/patreon-08-19
That came out in August luv, go to my downloads page and click AxA 2019
Anonymous said: Hi! Idk if you do wcif!!!! But if you do, wcif the freckles on the girl with the short hair on the BOP AHOOB collab?? If you know! Thank you much in advance!!!!!
Hey! You’ll need to send Bowl-Of-Plumbobs a message for that WCIF, that was his Sim otherwise I would link you. Sorry hun
@lumalinrose-sims said: Not a question, but you are like so cool I can't even--
thank you lmao I appreciate it, your profile pic it pretty cool :P
@ang3lba3 said: sarah is so pretty!!! is there a way to download how she looks in its entirety, or no? (sorry if this is a silly question im pretty new to the sims)
not silly don’t worry :P the Sarah hair is for download on the post, the sim can be downloaded here but she is a bit outdated as I have changed her somewhat since then.
Anonymous said: Hihi just stopping by to tell you how much I love your hairs!!
thank you so much! I appreciate the love<3
Anonymous said: hi! i just wanted to say that i love your cc so much i and always look forward to your posts! you make the cutest cc ever and honestly you're probably my favorite cc maker. you also seem like such a chill and genuine person we truly stan.
fgvhbjn thank you lmao I am literally TOO CHILL irl lmao I let people run over me so much but it’s whatever. Thank you again for the super sweet message. Have a great day if you’re reading this :)
Anonymous said: Heeeey we have the same name
Austin club :P great name til you’re trying to sign something and it looks awful (at least for me I can’t do my signature for shit)
Anonymous said: the collab with bop is so boring and dull it’s drier than a cracker it’s a no from me
well not everything is going to be someones cup of tea lmao I’m sure there is someone that enjoys it which counters you’re negative view <3
Anonymous said: Hi I love your cc! I have almost all of it in my game and I love your tropical punch palette so much I was wondering if you would ever consider releasing the palette.
If I ever make an ombre accessory tutorial video I will release a set of actions for the palette. If you wanna use the palette feel free to grab the hex codes from S4S.
Anonymous said: How did you become a ea game changer? Was it through Tumblr or youtube?
About a year ago SimGuruKate was the community manager and had applications for Tumblr Game Changers, I applied and got accepted. Follow SimGuruFrost on Twitter to stay up to date on when new applications are open.
Anonymous said: Are you going to upload the hair you made on your livestream? I literally love your work and am a Patreon subscriber!!!
Hey! The hair will be in my October voting (I think) and if it wins, release will be November. If it doesn’t win I will put it in November voting and so forth til it wins. Also thank you for watching the stream and supporting me on Patreon
Anonymous said: hello!! i just wanted to see if knew is there’s anyway i can save my cc and save files somehow where i can download them again if my computer breaks so i don’t have to download it all again.?
zip your Sims 4 folder and upload it to Google Drive/SimsFileShare/OneDrive. Then when you install Sims 4 again you just replace the folder made in Electronic Arts in your Documents.
Anonymous said: what face do you make when your in love with a bee?
this is an old anon so I doubt they’re gonna check for this, and I can’t find the joke on Google so.... anybody know it?
Anonymous said: i love these collab sets they are honestly gifts from above
mhmm gifts from above for every collab except those in October... those are from below 👹 😳
Anonymous said: the pack is sooooo cute i love everything omg!!!! The male stuff is so adorable i can’t wait to download
Anonymous said: you guys are the only ones i go to for packs i would love to see build buy items in the future we don’t get a lot mm stuff like that
Anonymous said:i just want to say thank you for putting in so much time and hard work and dedication to creating cc for us. i hope there's never a moment when you feel unappreciated, and i want you to know we all love you!
@primadonnaliferiseandfall said: all hail you and ayoshi for the cc pack its so pretty omg!!!!
Anonymous said: omg the kings have delivered!!
Anonymous said: since we got axa 2019 and 2018 will there be an axa 2020? 👀
Anonymous said: Great job on the pack! Everyone's items look gorgeous! Thank you for making this, you talented human being.
Anonymous said: ilysm! that’s all 💓💫
Anonymous said: just wanted to let you know that your content is absolutely amazing and i love it all :) sending love from the uk👍
Anonymous said: would you and ayoshi consider sharing the psds for some of the stuff in your collab? please?
thank you guys so much! Me and Ayoshi were super super happy with the AxA 2019 release and we are so happy with how many people have liked it. AxA 2020 will be a thing, yes. Also I have been working on PSDs that are super easy to navigate. I will get those up soon hopefully.
@graphicpickles said: Hey um, I dont know if you were aware of this but your discord link is broken ^^"
hey! this is super late sorry, discord link should be working now. If not:
https://discord.gg/CtQR9tb
Anonymous said: Why would you include a cc hair in a preview for a cas review
because I liked the hair and wanted to use it 😗
@goddesssimmerina said: I just stopped by to tell you how much I LOVE your content. *_* I just went through and downloaded soooo much! xD I actually just switched to using MM hair and i'm so glad I did because I'm finding so many of you amazing creators and I thank you all sm! :*
awe thank you!! I appreciate it. Welcome to MM hair world :P
@moonbrightsims said: whats ur origin id?
AHarris00Britney
Anonymous said: how are your photos/screenshots so high quality? seriously, do you use a mod for it or idk editing? or maybe your settings?
Ultra Settings, and I use SRWE for HQ pics.
Anonymous said: if you don’t answer this ask you’re straight
It has been answered. I am no longer straight. Was a hard two months not answering this 😔😔😔
Anonymous said: Hi, would you mind teaching us how you make the LoDs of your hairs? I opened one of them in S4S and found out your LoDs are great looking. I use decimate tool in blender and they look really bad.
I edge split everything before I decimate in Blender, I also delete the hairline and extrude the mesh inside the head before decimating as well. Really confusing to explain in words sorry. Might make a tutorial.
Anonymous said: omg ur cc finds blog has apink namjoo as icon and header. i'm.. sCREAMING. austin knows royalty
yes ma’am now where is the comeback
- it was at this point I realized I have caught up with my last asks post and have answered 4 things over again from Asks 15. Well... I guess that’s it folks
see yall in asks 17 in 2 months.... maybe the end of October idk
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Rando Munday OOC Things
- The LARP was so fun this weekend! I always have a good time but this time was EXTRA GOOD!!
- Chatzy used to be a HUGE part of my Tumblr RP experience, I did hours like every night? And now when I see a link for a chatzy on my dash I’m like...too pooped. Ditto for the Discord RP that I’m in, I can generally just do one thing a week there. I think it’s because I’m working more hours now than I was then, and get up earlier, but I miss it.
- I’ve started watching Aggressive Retsuko on Netflix, I really enjoy it! Cute and relatable (even if my office is nowhere CLOSE to that bad! it’s really great actually!) Director Gori is my favorite, I love her so much!!
- I went to a women’s college. New students got assigned an older “sister” to show them the ropes and stuff. Mine was more of an older “sibling” because they were identifying as nb at the time. He ended up transitioning fully to male, getting on T, taking a male name, etc. My dad, an old conservative Southern guy, met him both before and after the transitioning. He was super cool both times, and he used the right name/pronouns, not just to his face but even now when he asks me how Neil (the guy’s name) is doing now, and if we’re still talking. For whatever reason, he’s very invested in our friendship; I think he was just glad to have someone looking out for his little girl. Anyway I told him that Neil was living in Madison, in Wisconsin, and he was SO HAPPY?! Like he was THRILLED to hear that! He explained to me that he had been worried a bit for Neil because apparently Wisconsin has some pretty conservative areas, but Madison is like this hip liberal alternative college town, and that it’s “perfect” for Neil. My dad is adorable, is what I’m trying to say.
- I believe our shrew is a southern short-tailed shrew. Most shrews can't stand each other but this breed can be social and share burrows! SO WE COULD HAVE LOTS OF SHREWS also we think it was a mom bc it was hauling a grub instead of eating it on the spot. I have half a mind to buy some mealworms next time I'm at the pet shop and scatter them in the yard for the shrew(s)
- Tumblr reminded me of how Hagrid made Harry a scrapbook of his parents and brought him a birthday cake and is the one who got him Hedwig and I AM SO UPSET hagrid is so wonderful and unappreciated
- Why does everyone think Hufflepuffs are all nice floofballs? Being loyal and hardworking does not automatically beget niceness. The Death Eaters were loyal and hardworking too. Not anti-Hufflepuff here (they’re my fave house!) but just, like, noticing.
- “Reality doesn’t come with trigger warnings” Reality doesn’t come with a laugh track either, but our media also includes those? Reality doesn’t come with pause and rewind buttons, but we can do that with our media? And there’s “Viewer Discretion Advised” shit in front of lots of shows? Like this is just the dumbest argument. I’d like to think that even if I were against trigger warnings (which I’m NOT) I would employ better arguments than this. I feel that way about a lot of things---it’s less being agreed/disagreed with that peeves me, and more the stupidity of the argument being used. Even when I agree with the point being made.
- And then I saw someone say “Trigger warnings let people avoid topics that make them unhappy” uhhhhhh should I be looking for things that make me unhappy? Should I stop watching shows I enjoy and start watching shows I hate? Should I look for pictures of things I find upsetting instead of cute animals? Should I read books in genres I dislike instead of stuff I’ll enjoy or at least makes for a good hate-read? What the fuck kind of argument is this? If people are seeking out things that make them unhappy, that seems a LOT more uhealthy than avoiding it, what the fuck.
- So apparently there’s a new member of the Avengers but it turns out she was with them all along, she was a founding member of the team but then something happened that made everyone forget her but she was TOTALLY present in all the old issues, and we’re going to draw a bunch of scenes from those old issues but with her in it doing/saying cool things and have all the Avengers remember her now and talk about how great she is! Holy shit this is...are you kidding? Please tell me she turns out to be a bad guy and this is all fake OH IT IS thank goodness. Actually I really love this. I would have hated it if she was for real, but this turning out to be a villain plot makes me like it (because I hate the genuine “retconned into being a pre-existing part of the team” when it’s played straight)
- I don’t think it’s cool to speculate on other peoples sexualities, even if they’re in the public eye, but if you’re going to try to guess which female celebrities are gay...look for who a lot of lesbians crush on. This is just a general pattern in my experience, not a universal fact, but I notice queer women seem to find other queer women most attractive. Maybe it’s the overall preference for “butch” traits that I find is common among gay and bi women, maybe it’s just my own imagination/confirmation bias, but I swear we can fucking sense it.
- Things I hate: When someone includes stuff like “so hate me if you want” or “so you can tear me apart now” or “so now you clearly think I’m an awful person” in their argument. This does not incline me to take your argument more seriously, nor in any way be sympathetic with you. In fact, it fills me with fucking ire, and I have no doubt other people feel the same.
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ROAD TRIP AU (made with the help of @nonbinaryevanhansen, @thisiswhatmylifeamountsto, @dr-evn-hnsn, and other bros from the DEH discord chat)
The Gang™ decides to have a road trip--one last big hurrah--before they go their separate ways to their respective jobs/graduate programs.
Alana is in charge of planning because she doesn’t mind phone calls, can be trusted to not spend more than they’ve budgeted, and is generally more responsible than the rest. She has a spreadsheet with every aspect of the trip planned--right down to what rest stops they can stop at for people to stretch their legs or use the restroom. She has a color coded binder containing the menus of the restaurants they’re going to eat at, the brochures for the tourist destinations they’re stopping at, and the receipts for all of their reservations; she also has a copy of the itinerary for everyone. Two copies for Jared because...he’s Jared.
Zoe is the deejay. While she’s procrastinating from studying for finals, because Zoe has senioritis even though she’s not even technically in her last year of college yet, she makes dozens of playlists that are specific for every different road trip mood. One is named “For When Connor Starts Being an Asshole and We Need to Drown Him Out” and another is aptly titled “Weird Tree Noises to Calm Evan Down.” She’s the only one allowed to use the aux chord and she has to keep a close eye on it because Jared’s constantly looking for an opportunity to rick roll the caravan.
Connor is the driver. Not because he’s a particularly good driver, but because he’s pulled enough all nighters in his day that he doesn’t mind driving through the night as Alana requires for some parts of the trip. Even when he gets sleepy, he just has to put on Zoe’s “Please Don’t Fall Asleep at the Wheel and Kill Us All” mix and he’s good to go for another six hours. When Jared tries to call shotgun, Connor tells him “if I have to sit beside you all day, I’m going to drive us off a bridge.”
Evan gets shotgun. He spends most of the time playing eye spy with Connor-- “I spy with my little eye something green” “Evan could you please pick something that isn’t a tree for the love of God”--or reading wikipedia articles on the various trees they come across. He doles out the caprisuns and individual bags of doritos and lays potato chips that they stock up on whenever they find a Wal-Mart that’s reasonably close to the interstate. When they make stops, he’s the one wearing the fanny pack with the tiny fan, travel-sized sunscreen, bug spray wipes, and extra bandaids in it.
Jared is...well, Jared. He’s relegated to the back seat with Alana and Zoe and he’s bored as hell. Alana spends their car time going over the itinerary and reading guide books and Zoe alternates between staring out the window while listening to music on her phone and playing Candy Crush on her phone. Jared tries to help her out by telling her what to do, but she mostly ignores him, much to his distress. At one point, he swipes her phone because “Zoe you’ve been at it for an hour this is getting embarrassing” and nearly gets mauled by Zoe in her attempts to get her phone back. Alana is the only thing between him and certain death at that point. He also smuggles a lot of contraband snacks on board in his backpack and suitcase and refuses to share despite having more chips and soda than any single person could/should consume.
They end up using Jared’s minivan because it’s the only vehicle they have among them that’ll fit them all. Evan spends the week before the trip helping his friend wash the caked on dirt off the outside of the vehicle and clear out the many discarded fast food wrappers littering the car floor. Connor tags along and does nothing besides throw trash at Jared and write “wash me pls god” on the back of the window before Jared can hose it down.
In all honesty, Jared has a lot riding on this trip. All of his friends are going off to do new and better things and all he’s got on the horizon is some boring IT job in the hell that is corporate America. Plus, he knows that if someone’s going to be left out of the friend group, it’s him. Connor and Evan have been a thing since their senior year of high school and they dropped the on-again, off-again bullshit back in sophomore year of college. Zoe and Alana are definitely a thing, he thinks, even if he hasn’t seen them kiss or hold hands. If they aren’t together yet, it’s only a matter of time. And Zoe and Connor are siblings, so they’re stuck with each other. Jared’s the odd man out. Like always. So this is the last time he’s going to be an integral part of the friend group, and there’s no way he’s going to waste it.
At their first hotel stop, Jared spots a sign behind the front desk when he’s checking in with Alana (because Connor and Zoe kicked him out of the car while they went to find a parking spot with Evan) that says that the maximum occupancy for each room is four people. Alana makes them sneak up in groups--her and Zoe first, then Connor and Evan, and finally Jared bringing up the rear, all by his lonesome. He asks Alana what her plan is if someone comes to check on them and kick someone out because “they have security cameras, you know.” Alana informs him that they’ll just hide him under the bed and, when he asks why it has to be him, Zoe pipes in with “because if we were going to make someone sleep in the car, Jared, it would be you.” So Jared just sleeps under one of the beds, acting like he’s taking the joke too far, but in reality, he’d rather be stuck under the bed Connor and Evan are sharing than be in the car all night by himself.
At one of the gas stations, Connor, being the dick that Connor is, has everyone load up and leave without Jared. Alana and Zoe don’t realize he’s gone until they’ve been driving for thirty minutes. Evan had been napping since before they stopped at the gas station. They return to find Jared surrounded by empty and unopened chip bags and cans of Mountain Dew. He flips off Connor when he starts laughing, yelling “joke’s on you, asshole, I used your credit card!” Connor says having Jared out of his hair for an hour was the best eighty dollars he’s ever spent.
Alana forces them to stay at a campground for one of their stops because the nearby hotels were too expensive and they have a big tent and a small, one-person tent. Jared is (obviously) sent to sleep in the one-person tent by himself. He drags it as close as he can get it to the big tent, periodically scratching on the outside of the big tent throughout the night to freak them out, which ends in Evan not being able to sleep and Connor yelling at him. Not exactly the outcome he was hoping for. The next night, he slips into the big tent when everyone’s asleep, burrowing himself into the warm space between Connor and Evan.
Connor wakes up to find half of Jared on him and half of Jared on Evan. Feeling pissed that a) Jared climbed on Evan without asking Evan’s permission despite knowing how Evan gets when people touch him a lot and b) Jared’s snoring woke him up from some of the best sleep he’s gotten on the trip so far, Connor carries Jared out of the tent and dumps him on the other side of the camp fire before returning to the tent to cuddle with his boyfriend.
That’s the last straw for Jared. It’s obvious that none of his so-called friends want him there, and he’s not the type of guy to stick around when he’s clearly not wanted, so he gets the idea to walk back to civilization and catch a bus back home. Alana, Zoe, and Evan are freaking out when they wake up to find Jared missing--Alana’s two seconds away from dialing 911 and Evan’s about to have a panic attack--so Connor promises to find Jared and ends up driving slowly beside him on the interstate, trying to convince Jared to come back to camp with him.
Jared eventually agrees to come back to camp and they all have to have a serious discussion about what’s been going on. Jared acts like an asshole for a while, saying that he knows when he’s not welcome and it’s not like he wants to be stuck with any of them either, but eventually admits that he feels unappreciated and like everyone’s going to abandon him once the trip is over. Everyone assures them that that’s not the case--even Connor, although that takes more than a few bony elbows thrown his way by Evan and Zoe.
The trip continues on with everyone being a bit nicer to Jared. Well, everyone except Connor, but Connor is even a dick to Evan, so Jared didn’t expect much from him. Connor threatens to throw him off a cliff at the Grand Canyon and nearly drowns him in one of the pools at the hotel’s they’re staying at. The fact that Jared doesn’t actually come to any bodily harm is probably Connor’s attempt at appreciating Jared more.
At one of the hotels that has a whole freakin’ water park in it, Zoe and Evan go in the lazy river together, floating beside each other in their inner tubes, holding onto each other’s handles so they don’t get split up. Alana is swimming laps in one of the pools while Connor and Jared fight over who gets to go down a water slide first, terrifying the nearby children and annoying the hell out of the aforementioned children’s parents. Jared slips and ends up taking Connor down the slide with him and, of course at that exact moment Evan and Zoe are coming around the bend of the lazy river and see the boys sliding down together. Zoe cups her hands around her mouth and yells “GAY” while Evan laughs so hard he nearly capsizes.
That hotel decides to actually enforce the rule about there being only four people to each room, so Jared is stuck sleeping in the car. Evan shows up right before Jared’s about to fall asleep, a few towels and extra sheets in hand. They put down the backseat and make up a little bed, using the towels as pillows and the sheets as, well, sheets and share a package of cookies Jared swiped from one of Zoe’s bags before she went inside. They’re watching the Bee Movie on Evan’s phone when Connor shows up, scaring the hell out of them when he knocks on the window, face obscured by his hoodie.
Jared’s about to give up his backseat nest with Evan to the two lovebirds when Connor shoves Jared over so he’s squished between the two of them, claiming the rest of the cookies and offering nothing but sarcastic commentary in return. Jared’s a little confused about the whole thing, but he’s not about to pass up a redo of what he’d attempted back when they were camping, especially when Connor and Evan are two (conscious) willing cuddle buddies.
They have a Serious Talk in the morning and things just kind of go from there. Jared wasn’t expecting to get one (1) boyfriend on this trip, let alone two. He’s a little afraid that things are going to be awkward at first, but that fear goes right away when Evan and Connor join Alana and Zoe in ganging up on him the next day, attacking him with pool noodles until a manager or someone comes out and tells them they have to stop because they’re disrupting the other guests.
It’s not long after that when Alana sends the three of them off to an arcade at one of their stops, thrusting a twenty dollar bill at them and telling them to stay away for at least four hours. Jared and Connor are out the door before she can even finish her sentence, but Evan stays behind knowing what’s coming.
“It’s going to go great, ’Lana. Don’t worry.”
“I know.”
“Mmhm. Well, good luck.”
Meaningful shoulder touch. “Thanks, Evan.”
Evan continues to send his encouragement as Alana leads Zoe to a tiny hole-in-the-wall restaurant that she exhaustively researched many months prior, claiming them the best table that she reserved back in January. The restaurant doesn’t even take reservations, but Alana managed to sweet talk them into make an exception for this momentous occasion.
She asks Zoe to be her girlfriend between performances by amateur artists because it’s open mic night, and Alana couldn’t have planned that extra perfect touch that gives the night if she tried.
Zoe says yes, of course. Was Alana even worried?
Alana shows her (new!) girlfriend the plethora of texts Evan’s been sending her, telling her that everything’s going to be a-okay, that Zoe’s going to say yes, that they’re going to make an adorable couple. There’s also a few “pls hurry up and save me from these two, they’re competing over a claw game now” and a picture of the unicorn stuffie Jared won him, which make them laugh.
As much as they love Evan, they take their sweet time finishing dinner.
The road trip continues as plan without a hitch. Well, much of a hitch. Evan has a panic attack at one of the stops and locks himself in the bathroom. While Jared, Connor, and Zoe try to coax him out, Alana goes to get the manager and has him open the door with his key, rescuing Evan from the bathroom and helping him back to the minivan, telling him that he’s okay, everything’s okay, and offering him water. Evan apologizes for making them fall behind, but Alana tell him it’s fine, the schedule can wait.
The schedule only waits for Evan and Zoe though, so Alana makes up for lost time by forcing Jared to forego peeing at a rest stop and yelling at Connor to run red lights and go off road when they’re stuck in traffic. She even pesters a museum tour guide to hurry up to try to make up a few minutes.
Everyone’s exhausted when they get back. Jared, Connor, and Evan all pile into Evan’s bed, barely saying hi to Heidi and handing over the bag of souvenirs Evan’s been accumulating for her before they’re down for the count. Alana and Zoe don’t even make it to Zoe’s bed--Connor finds them passed out on the couch of Connor and Zoe’s shared apartment the next morning.
While the gang doesn’t split up--not in the next year, not in the next five years, not ever--the trip was one of the last times all of them were able to spend an extended amount of time together. Even Connor smiles when they flip through the scrapbook Alana and Evan made, filled with ticket stubs and awkward pictures from the trip, including one of Jared when Zoe and Connor drew dicks all over his face in Sharpie. Whether he smiles because the trip was one of the best times of his life or because it was one of the few times he’s gotten to draw dicks on his boyfriend’s face is unknown, but Jared and Evan prefer to believe its the former. It is the trip that (finally) got them together after all.
But Connor is a dick, so it’s probably the latter.
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