#this whole thing was an experiment

[inkskinned]

what is with men being mad any time a woman raises her voice where did that even come from. someone posted a video of a small electrical explosion, and the top comment was of course the woman screams. the second comment is women try not to scream challenge, level impossible. i had to go back and watch the video again. there is, somewhat fainty, a little gasp emitted off-camera, more of a yelp than a scream. it is mostly lost in the crack of the explosion. afterwards, you hear her voice, shaken, say, are you okay?

i am helping one of my friends train her voice pitch lower, because she wants to be taken seriously at work. she and i do each other's nails and talk about gender roles; and how - due to our appearance - neither of us have ever been able to be "hysterical" in public. we both appear young and sweet and feminine. she is cisgender, and cannot use her natural voice in her profession because people keep saying she appears to be "vapid". we both try to figure out if our purposeful voice lowering is technically sexist. is it promoting something when you are a victim to it?

a storm almost sends a pole through a car window. in the dashcam, you can hear the woman passenger say her partner's name twice, crying out in alarm. she sounds terrified. in the comments, she is lambasted for her lack of calm. how is that even fucking helping?

in high school, i taught myself to have a lower voice. i had been recorded when i was genuinely (and righteously) upset; and i hated how my voice sounded on the phone speakers when it was played back. i was defending my mom, and my voice cracked with emotion. it meant i was no longer winning the argument: i was just shrieking about it.

girls meet each other after a long summer and let out a little joyful scream. this usually stops around 12-14, because people will not tolerate this display of affection (as it has the effect of being passingly annoying). something about the fact that little girls can't ever even be annoying. we are trained to examine each part of our lives (even joy) for anything that could make us upsetting and disgusting. they act like teenage girls are breaking into houses and shrieking you awake at 3 in the morning. speaking as a public school educator: trust me, it's not that bad, you can just roll your eyes and move on. it does not compare to the ways boys end up being annoying: slurs in graffiti, purposefully mocking your body, following you after you said no. you know, just boy things.

there's another video of a man who is not allowed to yell in the house, so he snaps his fingers when he's excited about soccer. the comments are full of angry men, talking about how their brother is unfairly caged. let him express himself and this is terrible to do to someone. eventually the couple has to address it in a second video: they are married with a newborn baby. he was trying not to wake the infant up. there is no comment on the fact women are not allowed to yell indoors. or the fact that it could have been really alarming or triggering for his wife. sometimes i wonder if straight men even like women, if they even enjoy being in relationships with them.

for the longest time, i hated roller coasters because it always felt inappropriate and uncomfortable for me to scream. one of my friends called me on it, said it was unusual i'm so unwilling. i had to go to my therapist about it. i don't like to scream because i was not raised in a safe situation, and raising my voice would have brought unsafe attention towards me. even when i am supposed to scream, it feels shameful, guilty. i was not treated kindly, so i lack a basic form of self-protection. this is not a natural response. it is not good that in a situation of high adrenaline - i shut up about it.

something very bad is happening, i think. in between all the beauty standards and the stuff i've already discussed - this one feels new and cruel in a way i can't quite express. yes, it's scary and silencing. but there's something about how direct it is - that so many men agree with the sentiment that women should never yell, even in an emergency - it feels different.

is the word shriek gendered automatically? how about shrill or screech? in self defense class, one of the first things they tell you is to yell, as loud and as shrilly as you can. they say it will feel rude. most women will not do this. you need to practice overcoming the social pressure and just scream.

most women do not cry out, even when it's bad. we do not report it. we walk faster. we do not make a scene. what would be the point of doing anything else? no matter what we do, we don't get taken seriously. it is a joke to them. an instagram caption punchline. we have to present ourselves as silent, beautiful, captivating - "valuable."

a woman is outside watching her kids when someone throws a firecracker at them. she screams and runs towards her children. in the comments, grown men flock together in the thousands: god. women are so annoying.

#warm up #writeblr #this one has bothered me for a bit #any time a woman does something even passingly annoying we treat it like a fucking crime #hey man. women are allowed to be annoying. everyone forever is allowed to be passingly annoying #as long as they aren't hurting anyone/thing #like u wanna know something? i find it super annoying that men don't wear seatbelts #why arent there thousands of comments on driving videos thats just like : men try not to die in a car crash challenge #''this briefly annoyed me''. okay??????? AND????????????????? go get ur self a cookie and calm down about it #ur not entitled to control other ppl's experiences and emotions just so u can maintain ur own peace #if being briefly annoyed ruins ur whole day! you! need! therapy!!!! #men try not to become immediately angry about nothing challenge: level impossible #ps author is nonbinary. we didn't even get into the gender presentation thing #the fact men think it's SEXY that my voice is on the lower end....

[biggest-gaudiest-patronuses]

anyone else have multiple traumatic memories associated specifically with holidays/family vacations? because that is a topic I never see discussed in all the So You Had A Shitty Childhood, Now What? self-help books i've been reading. but for me, it was a significant thing. and the more i think about it the more it seems like this would be an (unfortunately) common experience. would be grateful to hear if this matches other peoples' experiences...

#not a shitpost #serious post #ask to tag #tw trauma #cptsd #c-ptsd #and if so we should TALK about it #because it means there are a whole group of survivors out there whose mental health regularly worsens during holidays #like i know i am most certainly not the only person who feels an undefined Dread hanging over christmas/my birthday/july 4 etc #bc too many shitty things happened during those times and now my brain is hypervigilant bc traditionally these are the Danger Times #and this seems like it would be particularly common for survivors of abusive/dysfunctional households (aka most people with c-ptsd) #because holidays/vacations typically mean 1) the whole family is together/being forced to interact #2) and undergoing external stressors e.g. travel/relatives aka 'outsiders' visiting/routines & coping mechanisms being interrupted etc #3) there is social pressure for this to be a Fun Family Bonding Experience which only highlights the cracks in the foundation #and exposes the common Everything Is Fine/We Are A Happy Family lie #4) the cognitive dissonance of feeling tired/anxious/stressed/afraid during a time when you are 'supposed' to be Making Good Memories #and then everyone is angry/tired/anxious/triggered and things boil over and something or someone goes Very Wrong #weird that i'm posting this in october when halloween is...sort of the ONLY holiday i have only good and happy feelings towards #i got lucky there #also i have positive feelings towards Labor Day but that's for socialist reasons

[eyenaku]

FOOL MASK (GITM BY @venomous-qwille)

Handbuilt porcelain with slip, overglaze, glaze, and gold lustre accents. Paint and lacquer detailing added post fire. Handsewn fool's cap and bells added post fire.

This mask is a part of a (loosely connected) mask series, all hand-built and fired using a range of different temperatures and techniques.

My favourite mask to date, Fool from Ghost in the Machine by the wonderful @venomous-qwille !! GITM is absolutely incredible and I cannot put into words eloquently how much I adore it and Fool so instead I made this mask! Hi!

My word was this mask a struggle to make. The mask itself is entirely one piece, and entirely porcelain!! That's right, those long thin rays are solid porcelain!! The eyes and tips of the blades are done in 22 carat gold lustre. All colouring save for the black and the satin sections of darker red on the face were done with only slips and underglazes. The red colour was correct without the paint, but I thought a contrast from the rest of the gloss would look nice :)

Made to scale, the mask measures 50.8x60.96cm without the hat, and 50.8x116.84cm with it! (20x24in without hat, 20x46in including hat). He is Large, but turned out absolutely lovely and I send my many many thanks to the kiln gods for producing him unscathed.

(naku & wall for scale)

(he's so big guys i have large walls (the top of my head is only slightly above the top of the bookcase beneath him) look at him at the wall it's nuts)

#eyenaku #proudnaku #seriously so proud of this naku please interact with this my magnum opus of porcelain i hate porcelain but i love fool #my prof. encouraged me to make THE REST OF FOOL?? LIKE HIS BODY?? thats so much. i'm not gonna but that was a funny thing to experience #ANYWAYS HI QWILLE IF YOU'RE READING THIS THE TAGS!! #fool is such a guy #thas all! love ur stuff btw #art #pottery #ceramics #mask #masks #decorative masks #porcelain #fool #fool gitm #fool ghost in the machine #ghost in the machine au #fool eclipse #ghost in the machine #gitm au #gitm fool #eyenaku masks #hehe happy fool day #I think the funniest part of making him was the tactical smooch I had to make to save his face it’s a whole thing #clip next.

[gothedrals]

I miss you blockbuster I miss you cds I miss you little buttons that played song previews in walmart I miss you vhs tapes I miss you blocky tv with rabbit ears that only had 10 channels I miss you scratched dvds from the library I miss you envelopes of developed photos from a film camera I miss you flip phones covered in stickers I miss you physical media

#edit for clarification: I do still engage in physical media. i know many of these things are still around today #i still buy cds and vinyl and read paper books from the library and I own a film camera #this is moreso about the culture as a whole shifting to value convenience over experience #listening to cds on my own will not change the culture back to when physical media was the norm for everyone #I’m a nostalgia-ridden person there’s a specific feeling I’m missing that I can’t achieve by myself #g

[ovegakart]

if the blood moon had happened in post ocarina of time

#thats it thats the whole idea #link and zelda get sheikah outfits #link has moon busting experience just let him do his thing zel #loz oot #oot link #oot zelda

[cloudyydraws]

more mario and luigi doodles but i took their mouths away

+ extra unfinished stuff under the cut

#the dear doppelganger weeg one is purely self indulgent bc ive been playing it on loop recently im normal #and i know doppelganger is a different whole thing than what he has but. hey its ok we ball #more spm on the way (i hope!!!!!! as long as i dont get distracted by avemuji or sekai for a bit) #most of this was practicing mario bc i still dont like the way i draw him tbh but i think we're getting somewhere #shoutout priv twt oomfies for dealing with my mario fix bullshit youre all so real #drawing these little guys is so much different from my other little guys i think thats why ive liked drawing them so much constantly #it just feels fresh for me!! i just get to fuck around when i draw them its fun to experiment again #ok done talking i like them a normal amount #mario and luigi #mario #luigi #super mario bros fanart #super mario bros #super mario fanart #spm #super paper mario #mr l #starlow #smb #super mario brothers #mario bros #mario fanart #art #fanart #my art #cloudy draws #nintendo #nintendo fanart

[houseswife]

listen. this may sound like a reach but I don’t think house’s eagerness to go to the lesbian bar with thirteen was fetishistic glee. because like. okay. straight men love lesbians. but it’s only ever in a “conventionally attractive porn stars making out”, “I’ll pay these 2 strippers to kiss” sort of way, not exactly in the sense that they like to surround themselves with regular, real life sapphics. in fact, most hetero men despise the lesbians they meet in real life because they see them as either unattainable or unappealing disappointments to their fantasies. now, listen. house isn’t stupid, it’s not like he thought thirteen was gonna let him in on some hot girl-on-girl voyeuristic action, and he certainly knew he wasn’t about to get laid himself at a bar of ALL WLW. he’s an overconfident perv, sure, but not the kind who thinks he can ‘convert’ a gay gal, nor would he even desire to. the damn patient of the week is a guy who tried to ECT himself straight, which house obviously doesn’t believe is reasonable (this episode also gave us the shot where both house & thirteen are shown making a face in response to “I’m as straight as any of you!”)

with all of this laid out, you kinda have to assume that he was excited about the bar for another reason. dare I say it was simply… the joy of existing in a queer space as a queer person?

#I know there’s 0 chance that the writers thought it through this hard #but I genuinely believe this with my entire soul #it’s one thing for house to be an ally and support thirteen’s sexuality #but to delight in sharing the bisexual experience with her? just basking in the inclusiveness of an lgbt environment? #that’s a whole nother beast #you get what I’m saying? #he was just there for the vibes. #one might even say… for the pride #he had 0 ulterior motives other than to have a good time #house md #gregory house #greg house #dr house #hatecrimes md #remy hadley #remy thirteen hadley #thirteen house md #you know what I’ll also throw in a #hilson #house/wilson

[ignitesthestxrs]

there's something about the way people talk about john gaius (incl the way the author writes him) that is like. so absent of any connection to te ao māori that it's really discomforting. like even in posts that acknowledge him as not being white, they still talk about him like a white, american leftist guy in a way that makes it clear people just AREN'T perceiving him as a māori man from aotearoa.

and it's just really serves to hammer home how powerful and pervasive whiteness and american hegemony is. because TLT is probably the single most Kiwi series in years to explode on the global stage, and all the things i find fraught about it as a pākehā woman reading a series by a pākehā author are illegible to a greater fandom of americans discoursing about whether or not memes are a valid way of portraying queer love.

idk the part of my brain that lights up every time i see a capital Z printed somewhere because of the New Zealand Mentioned??? instinct will always be proud of these books and muir. but i find myself caught in this midpoint of excitement and validation over my culture finding a place on the global stage, frustration at how kiwi humour and means of conveying emotion is misinterpreted or declared facile by an international audience, frustrated also by how that international audience runs the characters in this book through a filter of american whiteness before it bothers to interpret them, and ESPECIALLY frustrated by how muir has done a pretty middling job of portraying te ao māori and the māoriness of her characters, but tht conversation doesn't circulate in the same way* because a big part of the audience doesn't even realise the conversation is there to be had.

which is not to say that muir has done a huge glaring racism that non-kiwis haven't noticed or anything, but rather that there are very definitely things that she has done well, things that she has done poorly, things that she didn't think about in the first book that she has tacked on or expanded upon in the later books, that are all worthy of discussion and critique that can't happen when the popular posts that float past my dash are about how this indigenous man is 'guy who won't shut up about having gone to oxford'

*to be clear here, i'm not saying these conversations have never happened, just that in terms of like, ambient posts that float round my very dykey dash, the discussions and meta that circulate on this the lesbian social media, are overwhelmingly stripped of any connection to aotearoa in general, let alone te ao māori in specific. and because of the nature of american internet hegemony this just,,,isn't noticed, because how does a fish know it's in the ocean u know? i have seen discussions along these lines come up, and it's there if i specifically go looking for it, but it's not present in the bulk of tlt content that has its own circulatory life and i jut find that grim and a part of why the fandom is difficult to engage with.

#tlt #the locked tomb #i don't really have an answer lmao this is more #an expression of frustration and discomfort #over the way posts about john gaius seem to have very little connection to the background muir actually gave him #like you cant describe him as an educated leftist bisexual man #without INCLUDING that he is māori #that has an impact! that has weight and importance! #that is a background to every decision he makes #from the meat wall to the nuke to his relationship with the earth #and it also has weight and importance in the decisions that muir makes in writing him #it is not a neutral decision that he's known as john gaius lmao #it's not a neutral decision that the empire is explicitly of roman/latin extraction #it's not even neutral that this is a book about necromancy #it's certainly not a neutral fucking decision that john was at one point a māori man living in the bush #when the nz govt decided to send cops in #like that is a thing that happens here! that is a reference to nz cultural and political events that informs john's character and actions #and with the nature of who john is in the story #informs the narrative as a whole #and i think the tiresome part of this experience is that #in general #americans are not well positioned to understand that something might be being written from outside their experience as a default #like obviously many many americans in online leftist & queer spaces are willing to learn and take on new information #but so much of the conversation starts from a place of having to explain that forests exist to fish

[proudfreakmetarusonniku]

I’m glad the whole “straight women (which means any afab person even those not straight or women) are sexualising the gay men by realising they exist and making content about gay men at all ever and they’re dirty and sick for wanting to write anything that isn't Woman enough and this is also why dark media should never exist because Women will want to do the fuck on it because they’re all lustful beasts (shows a fandom of like 100 fics to Prove this is a major issue)” is getting lambasted. Not only is it blatant misogyny, it’s so anti media literacy it’s crazy a dude who made his whole career over pretending to be media literate claimed it. Like, it’s so fucking stupid. A hundred people writing fic about a real life killer is fucked but it means nowt for a group of billions of people, especially since we don’t know if they were all women. And when you get into fictional stuff it’s even sillier like a minority of people having no media literacy and thinking abuse is hot or whatever doesn’t mean shit when it comes to Women As A Whole or like, what sort of media you should produce or how. Some people- not women, people- are always going to be idiots and it’s anti art to expect authors to cater to people who don’t want to engage with their depictions of sensitive topics,

#James somerton #hbomberguy #todd in the shadows #please don’t start the whole pro anti thing on this post I have personal bad experiences with both sides and find they lack nuance

[platyroonism]

HUGE fan of TS!underswap papyrus' design

#ts underswap #ts!underswap #undertale #papyrus #i LOOOOOVEVEVEVEVE gold embellishments and accesories #he loooks soo good #the whole colour pallette is CHEFS KISS #also i love shoes???? can't drwa them for shit but my favourite thing to draw is shoes with big ass shoelaces #ESPCIALLY hightops #papyrus ts underswap was made for me #also i looove how sunny and bright he is in ts??????? #like he's still papyrus #fun and funny and exuberant and kinda a self absorbed #just a all round fun guy to be around #ik he doesn't wear gloves but lord in heaven i am NOT drawing his bony hands #this was just a colouring and lighting and shading experiement #also i wanted to draw his shoes #plart

[carnivalcarriondiscarded]

thinking about Eddie & hyacinths again

#as you can surmise im Perfectly Normal about it #this man doesnt make me insane at all. nope. #trying out some new coloring and texture and background things... #on a side note. and i say this so lovingly bc theyre my favorite flowers #FUCK DRAWING HYACINTHS ALL MY HOMIES HATE DRAWING HYACINTHS #that was hell on earth. #ANYWAY THIS DUDE IS NEAT I HOPE HE DIES #nah im jesting im Jesting. am i tho #dead or alive i want him to experience unimaginable horrors and then die ten times and come back Normal #bc eddie strikes me as a 'dying would fix them' character #whether its a real death or a perceived death or Youve Been Dead The Whole Time death dont care dont care #i need him dead on the ground for at leeeaaaast five minutes #id be frothing at the fucking mouth. ragh #scribble garnish #welcome home #welcome home puppet show #eddie dear #originally this was gonna be a Very bloody little piece #but then my brain went 'hey. symbolism. what if the blood was flower petals. from hyacinths' #and ohhhh i couldnt pass that up #i wish i did! i would have had a lot more fun drawing a gruesome injury rather than Those Damn Flowers! #i dont know why ive latched onto the hyacinths outside the post office but my brain wont let go #ITS JUST SO SPECIFIC. why why whyyyyyy put that specific flower by this specific guy #especially flowers with Those Meanings and That Myth #*violently shaking the site* WHAT DO YOU MEANNNNNN #ok im getting myself too worked up i need to touch grass or poke the fire

[ducks-love-peas]

yeah, erm, spelling - not their strong point.

#good omens #good omens 2 #goodomensedit #goodomensgifs #shax #s2e5 'the ball' #gifs #i made this #i just love shax's costumes and hair #i've had this idea for a gif of this scene for a while #someone else has probably already done it haha #i wish i were faster and had more time T_T #this was a real blood sweat and tears editing experience (k maybe not blood) #i learned some tricks for my poor girl's freeware-only gifmaking process tho! #rip the quality of the third gif :'( but i wanted to include the whole thing #(rip the quality in general sorry obvs still need to work on sharpening)

[notachair]

thinking about how Sypha described Alucard like a "cold spot in a room" in S2, and Alucard showing up at the end of Nocturne S1 looking all desaturated, though yes ethereal, but also in a sense cold and ghostly, all buttoned up at the front. Sypha saying his sadness being like an icy well. And here he'd been so soft and happy by the S4 finale 😭 I'm nervous- but excited. And I fear the new groupie got some walls to tear down

#pleasepleaseplease don't allow him to just be all professional and impersonallll #like his voice isn't completely dispassionate. and I feel like some of this attitude must be from his age and experiences. #like there's a sense of maturity and security as well. just- yea. #I wonder if the series will touch more upon alucard's vampire side now and how he feels about it... he's looking the part #and he's beyond a normal human life time by far #I'd enjoy it. #he's had some more experience plotting against vampires tho I guess. considering the whole “we need a plan” thing with the group but they #did succeed making a more proper plan at the end 👍 regardless of its failure. that's just one of the canon events #castlevania #castlevania nocturne #nocturne spoilers #my rambles #castlevania spoilers

[forgetful-nerd]

So uh- if 2003! Donnie met 2012! Donnie do y’all think he’d be slight unsettled by his reddish eyes because of…..ya know….

The “Good Genes” episode?

#2003 Donnie: hey uh. you know if you needs someone to talk to. i’ve got some experience with the whole ‘monster mutant’ thing #2012 Donnie: hm yeah being turned into a vampire was a bit unsettling I guess #2003 Donnie: what? #2012 Donnie: what? #idk man this though has been on my mind for a few weeks #like sometimes 2012 D’s eyes are just red looking ya know? #tmnt #tmnt 2012 #teenage mutant ninja turtles #tmnt 2003 #tmnt crossover #2012 donnie #2003 donnie #2003 donatello #2012 donatello #donatello #tmnt donatello

[naranjapetrificada]

Just a small thing I noticed while being totally normal about the gay pirates:

I've watched The Kiss™ way too many times a normal number of times and my favorite moment is the series of microexpressions Rhys cycles through while Stede is reacting to "what makes Ed happy is...you" because it's just so lovely and masterfully done. While trying to find a good gif of just that moment (no luck so far!) I noticed something that happens while Ed is pulling Stede in.

Stede, darling honey light of my life, clueless useless "oblivious" gay that he is, tilts his head a bit and leans into the kiss too. Before it's even started. On some level he registers that This Is Happening in time to react in a positive way, even before their lips have touched.

Our boy is a creature of instinct, and when he acts on his emotional instincts without thinking too much he knocks so much shit out of the park. Instinct is part of why "you wear fine things well" hits as hard as it does. Instinct is how he can woo Ed as easily as he does. Instinct is how they were able connect so deeply so quickly, because his instinct is to be open and non-judgemental to this beautiful man waiting beside his sickbed and asking about fine fabrics.

Stede's thoughts are still too clouded by his trauma and self-loathing to be useful for him, and he can end up thinking too much about what he "should" do or what other people do. Thinking is part of the reason he's so quick to believe Chauncey in the woods. Thinking means succumbing to beliefs about his perceived worthlessness, which leads to his biggest mistakes. Thinking tells him to adjust what he says about Blackbeard in that tavern of townies, when his instinct was to say how "absolutely lovely" Ed is.

Obviously man cannot live by instinct alone, like he definitely should have thought for a minute about making a deal with Geraldo to fence the hostage. Stede needs to learn to balance the two and when to listen to either/both of them. But I was just so excited to see him leaning in the way he does because it underlines a feeling I've had for a minute, which is that Stede's instincts are those of someone crushing and then falling in love, and that never wavers.

He lacks the context and vocabulary to identify what's going on without outside intervention, but he also deeply gets it in a way that's extremely queer and that I hope starts showing up more in the fanon. I do a little happy dance every time I see this in people's fics and I just need so many more of them! Give me more eager Stede who is Ready To Go once he's given the right context for his feelings about Ed!

#ofmd #our flag means death #ofmd meta #our flag means death meta #meta #no but for real Eager Stede Bonnet is a fucking delight to encounter #no thoughts detected in that well-coiffed little head of his #and when it comes to emotions at least things work out better for him #gentlebeard #blackbonnet #stede bonnet #I think I've also written meta before about how Stede Bonnet Sex God™ isn't a joke and it's his instincts! #it's why so many fics have him lacking in previous experience but not in creativity or enthusiasm #his relationship to instinct also feels autistic to me for relatable reasons but that's a whole other thing #ofmd spoilers #The Kiss™

[homestuckinthebutt]

"My love, return to me soon. I’ve begun to forget what you look like..."

Jaya is my favorite ship ever they're just so tragic<33

#ninjago #nya smith #nya jiang #ninjago dragons rising #i know yall are starving for more content so i hope you enjoy this #im kinda proud how the art style looks a bit different from above and below #to symbolize what she wishes she could experience again; clean #and below; to show how things feel a bit messy right now with the whole merged realms thing (un-neat lines and different textures) #ninjago fanart #for thise who cant tell the background is part of the kingdom of madness