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#this will only be funny to a very specific group of people
porcelainvino · 3 days
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blaine in tested episode rant i should’ve posted yesterday but i didn’t realize until now :3
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so sometime last year, i’m scrolling through someone’s old glee blog, i genuinely don’t remember who, and they mention the episode “tested” around the time it came out
some random post is talking about blaine eating in the episode, and their first line under the title is “he can eat perfectly with chopsticks (ASIAN)”
……… THAT’S NOT HOW IT WORKS………
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as a filipino american (emphasis on the american, i am so disconnected from my culture—) i love a good filipino blaine mention, i really do, but this is????? not? correct???????????
i am here to say, if you are unaware, that chopsticks are pretty much exclusively only used in EAST asia. people in the philippines (southeast asia) just use spoons and forks to eat, sometimes just their hands, and rarely ever used chopsticks. hell, eden (my sibling) doesn’t even know how to use chopsticks
also one must take into account that by saying “(ASIAN)”, the original poster means like… the entirety of asia. do you know how fucking big asia is??????? do you know how culturally diverse asia is??? you can’t just say chopsticks = all asian cultures like WHAT
i KNOW that random poster from 2014 meant no harm, and i don’t blame them. i assume they were white (as most of the glee fandom is), and assuming they just assumed that the philippines uses chopsticks as their main utensils, i personally am fine with them saying that. they tried to make a point and kinda fell short and that’s okay.
i think what really gets me is how SURE they were about their statement. the all caps “ASIAN” in the parentheses. completely unaware that blaine just knows how to use chopsticks. his use of chopsticks does not prove his filipinoness
at the end of the day, me and my friends took this random post from 2014 VERY UNSERIOUSLY. most of my friends are asian, specifically east asian, southeast asian, and middle eastern. my entire close friend group is non-white, 3/4 of us being asian, and we joke now and then with that phrase, (ASIAN)
there isn’t really a point to this post. i just realized i could’ve talked about the (ASIAN) thing on the tested episode 10 year anniversary and i think it would be funny. that phrase has now become an inside joke with my friends for the past year. if any of us does or mentions something remotely asian, one of us will say “(ASIAN)”. i just think the entire thing is really silly LMAOOOO
i suppose my final message is pay attention to your filipino blaine headcanons because sometimes they don’t make sense 😭💔‼️
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chrisbitchtree · 1 year
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Anyone: Billy’s straight
Me:
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xxlovelynovaxx · 7 months
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"there isn't a damn thing that affects me that specifically" Okay so you're privileged. Got it. Next!
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mydemonsyourangels · 8 months
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oh my gosh reneé rapp is watching only friends
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marypsue · 8 months
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For argyle, I can’t say much but I will say my dad is Chicano and grew up in LA area and he appreciated the Cheech and Chong references ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ IMO, I feel like his character was exciting in that it was a chance to give the Byers some interesting development, especially Jonathan, but in reality he was more an excuse for weed jokes. I also feel like sometimes the fandom in more excited to show that they can like a brown man actually, than actually giving his character depth (necessary caveat this may just be the corners in lurking on). He mainly exist for car and pizza plot points, and also deus ex machina moments where the writers clearly decided if a high person has an epiphany that coincidentally solves everything, it doesn’t count because they’re high and it’s humorous.
Apologies if you could hear me rolling my eyes over that last point from all the way over here. Everything I hear makes me more and more convinced that I made the right call dipping halfway through this last season. This show is very much no longer being made with me in the intended target audience.
(To be fair, this tendency toward stock comedic characters with cardboard personalities started with Murray back in season two, and just got fucking egregious when they decided he should be a main cast member and an important load-bearing plot element. I cannot stand the man. And yeah, season one had its share of dopey deus ex (Jonathan, why are you taking pictures in the woods in the middle of the night?), but usually it was to get the characters into Situations, not out of them.)
Like I do think it's important to be able to draw that distinction between 'this is what the author/showrunners/writers/story actually did, in our real world, where this is a fictional story that someone had to make all the choices about' and 'this is how I could explain this within the context of the story, as though it were a Thing That Happened and the people it happened to were real, and no deliberate, conscious choices shaped those facts'.
Maybe it really is just that I'm not the target audience here. Or maybe I just don't appreciate weed jokes. But it seems pretty clear to me that nobody on the writing team put in the time or the thought to give that actor much more to work with other than 'weed joke'. (Most likely because they didn't have the time to put in the thought. Or, possibly, that there was no one left on the writing team with the perspective to do so. Minirooms are bad, 'auteur theory' is bad, support the WGA.)
But I know fandom can Do Things with characters whose writers Didn't. I've done it myself! In this case, though, I can't get past how much he annoys me. Which is rough, because I agree with your point - having him there opens up a lot of really interesting possibilities for development for the Byers! It could have been really good! I just can't get there on my own. And I'm hoping somebody has the hookup for the good stuff, so that I don't have to try to sort through a lot of fics and headcanons about a character I am already irritated by for Meta Reasons, without a trusty guide.
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synthetic-sonata · 10 months
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it is so fucking hard to rp when you have anxiety this shit sucks
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funshape · 2 months
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name a group of people more annoying than the people on here who will see a post with like weird zany humor behind it and go "erm...? schizoposting alert!!!!! someone needs to check their carbon monoxide detectors! uh......yeah....op...i think you need to see a doctor 🤣 " guys group huddle we gotta get it together we need to move on from whatever era we're in right now this islike Nothing. we gotta get new material i dont know what material that is but we cant keep doing this its boring and stupid. the carbon monoxide detector bit was funny like Once but it spiraled into assigning anyone who makes out of left field jokes specific mental illnesses based on your vague understanding of whatever disorder you think they have when you do not know those people or their struggles and specifically you realize how this shit could Very Easily be bad for people with ocd right. like having a post blow up when youre doing a bit only to get thousands of remarks Insisting that there is fundamentally something wrong with you even when you Know for a fact youre just joking is kind of a nightmare for people with ocd or even just paranoia in general. im just saying for a website that likes to pretend it is smart A Lot of you Are Very Dumb
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dcxdpdabbles · 4 months
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DCxDP Fic idea: What's the Rule again?
It starts with Wes Weston accidentally banishing Danny from his haunt. He didn't mean to, and he panicked along side Sam and Tucker when Danny was effectively evicted Danny from Amity Park.
See the four have become tight-knited friends every since the trio started talking to Wes back during the summer between freshman and sophomore year.
During that time, Wes's other friends had drifted apart once Wes' attention moved from basketball to ghosts- specifically Phantom. Danny had felt at fault that he was left a loner because of his secret identity and had invited Wes to sit with them at the Nasty Burger the second week of Summer break.
Wes was suprise to find out that Sam, Tucker and Danny were much better friends then the ones he hanged out with since third grade. He was used to people only speaking to him in class or the few times they hang out on breaks but the trio would message him about every single thought or meme they had. They could laugh togther until tears fell from thier eyes and they couldn't breath over the silliest of topics.
Wes also found out that the trio was supportive of all their interests. Sure, his old teammates and friends didn't make fun of him for crocheting or painting, but they wouldn't accompany him to an art market. Nor would they actually wear the scarves and gloves he made them.
They sure as hell didn't volunteer to help him run a booth to sell his own crocheting pieces after encouraging him to get a table. And they wouldn't cheer loudly when he made his first sale.
Wes also wouldn't have happily gone with them to an observatory, a Dark Poem Night, or even a tech expo. But he found that he had the time of his life watching Danny, Sam, and Tucker nerd out at the events much as much as he did at his own.
He also never had anyone he knew would be down to do him favors or even take notes for him when he was out sick.
So he became close friends with them, passing sophomore year with far more enjoyment than any other grade, then Junior year came and went just as fast and as fun. It was their last summer as high school students, so Wes wanted to do as many new activities as the four could together before Senior year.
Who knew what would happen to their little group after graduation? He wants to think they would all remain best friends but he's heard so many stories of people drifting apart that Wes was afraid of risking it.
That's why he researched urban myths and legends around the world regarding ghosts- more then any research paper he's ever done- and jokingly asked Danny to partake in some of them as a halfa.
They joked and laughed- throwing salt in a circle around Danny, lighting a candle for him to use Morse code with- but it wasn't until Wes got to the one where he tried smoking Danny out with a banishing spell he found in an old book that things turned from funny to horrible.
It worked
Danny was flung from his haunt- effectively banishing him from the area he was haunting. Dann just happens to be haunting all of Amity Park, so he ends up on the outskirts of town, unable to cross the invisible line.
Wes practically choked on his tears as he apologized for Danny not being able to cross back in, but the other three quickly informed him that they, too, took part in it, and it was no one's fault. Danny just had to find a way to reverse the banishing spell.
The only problem was that the book pages Wes found online were only on the banish spell itself and nothing else. He couldn't even find the whole book since it belonged in a private family library.
The family library was located in the most dangerous city in America. Gotham.
The library also belongs to a very wealthy family that had recently all but perished except for their lone heir- Timothy Drake.
Now Wes attempted to contact Timothy Drake in hopes of having the other teenager send him copies of the book, but he never got a reply. He thinks it was due to not explaining why he needed the book and ending up sounding like a bot or a scam.
With each passing day of Drake not responding Danny's situation grew worse. Jazz luckily covered for them, claiming to have signed Danny up for some camp so his parents wouldn't think he was missing.
That would only work until school started, which was a time limit that was weighing on all their shoulders as they tried to find a counterspell.
Jazz, Tucker, Sam, and Wes each took turns driving out of town to bring him food and a change of clothes so Danny could figure out his situation, having to do it in shifts to not alert any of their parents.
However, without his haunt to pick up natural exoplasm, Danny was growing weaker and weaker by the day, looking half stave out in the little motel room Sam rented for him as they tried to get him back into the town.
Danny needed to either make his way back to his haunt or go somewhere that was so infected with ectoplasm that it actually felt cursed.
Tucker found the solution to all their problems with a few hacking skills that he learned to fight off Technus' invasive attempts of his personal tech.
"A full ride to Gotham Academy?" Wes' mom gasped staring at the acceptance letter her son eagerly showed her. "With a promised full ride to any university in America?!"
"Yeah, Tucker, Sam, Danny, and I all got accepted for our work on clean energy generators. We sent it in for the Wayne scholarship, and we won! The only thing is that it's a requirement to graduate from high school in Gotham. I have to go!" Wes gasped, eyeing both his dad's and Kyle's doubtful frowns. He couldn't afford for them to say no when Tucker had worked so hard to bump them up as Winners. Bruce Wayne's computer security is no joke. "This is the once in a life time opportunity!"
"But where would you live?" His dad asks, shaking the letter. "Wes, this is clear across states, and it only covers school expenses."
"Sam's parents bought her a house. She's going to rent us some of the extra rooms." It was a lie; her parents would never let four boys- especially these boys- rent from their daughter. She told them that the school provided co-dorm rooms "I can get a job at the local library- I already sent them my resume and got a call for a interview."
"What will you do for food?" Kyle asks. "We both know you can't cook."
"I can't, but Danny does. He's amazing in the kitchen."
Here, his parents share a loaded look. "So you'll be living with the Fenton boy....."
"Well. Yeah? I already said that?" He returns, confused, and Kuule coughs to cover a laugh. Confused he stares at his older brother, who quirks a grin at him.
"Don't worry about it." Kyle laughs, but his wiggling eyebrows tell Wes he should worry a lot about it. He would inisit a little more to find out what Kyle knew, but he needed to convince his parents more.
Eventually, after five days of attempting, Wes got their permission and could tell his friends, who all shared the same results. The remainder of the summer is spent preparing for their move- finding the house, getting it furnished, packing their things, transferring schools- it's a lot, and he's never been so grateful for Sam's wealth.
She hires people to get it all done for her-including hiring a trailer to take their four cars-, so he only has to worry about his packing. The four meet up at the airport on the day they live, flying first class thanks to Sam's grandmother.
Tearful goodbyes and good luck from their families leave them all a bit down but they board the plane and take off without too much trouble.
While on the plane, Sam turns to the boys. "Does everyone remember the phases of the plan?"
"Phase one: Blend into Gotham until we find Timothy Drake" Tucker states, pushing up his glasses
"Phase two: Get Drake to invite us over to his house and find the book," Danny tacks on, tapping his foot on the ground.
"Phase three: Find all the pieces for the counterspell- usually scattered around the magical family's ancestral home- and get Danny home!" Wes shouts, raising a fist in the air.
Sam nods, looking satisfied. "And what are we not allowed to do? Danny?"
"Become a vigilante when my ectoplasm is on a limited intake" Danny grumbles, sinking into his chair. "Let it to the Bats and keep my head low."
"Good. Tucker?"
"I'm not allowed to hack into anything because it can gain the attention of the Bats or Mr.Wayne, and then we'll be on a wanted list" Tucker sighs "No matter how much fun it would be to battle it out with the legendary Oracle."
"That's right. I'm not allowed to go anywhere near Poison Ivy no matter how much I want to yell at her to go fix the coal riffs and cut down forests instead of wasting her powers on the stupid heist." Same all but bites, and then she turns her attention to Wes, who startles.
"Wes?"
"Wait, I have a rule?"
"Course, man," Tucker laughs. "We all have rules."
"But I'm not interesrted in anything in Gotham besides the Drake grimoire!"
"Wes," Danny says gently, his soft baby blue eyes making him a little hot under the collar as they stare into his soul. "You're not allowed to fall in love with any of the Bats."
Wes mind blanks, then reboots, "Excuse me!?"
"We know you had a crush on all of us here Wes and Val" Sam laughs when he turns wide eyes at her. "It's cute but you really shouldn't try for the Bats. They're the violent sort"
"What?!"
"Yeah, you have a type, and it's a hero or hero adjacent." Tucker shrugs "It's cool."
Wes can only gape at them, no matter how much he tries to convince them; otherwise, the three refuse to remove his rule. He is highly offended by it.
Yes, he's never really gone out with Team Phantom, just because when he joined the group, most of Danny's rouges were long gone leaving behind the tiny ones that he could handle on his own, but he wasn't into heroes!
And okay- maybe, maybe at one point or another he may have had slight crushes on his friends but they were quick and gone before the first school year together!
So the rule is utterly ridiculous!
At least, he thinks so until five days later when he's trying to find his way around the new neighborhood and gets caught up in a mugging. He could have quickly taken the mugger- humans had nothing on ghosts- but he attempted to talk the young adult out of it when Red Robin swooped in like a knight in shining armor.
He may have just stared at the hero's tight-skin outfit instead of letting the hero know that he could handle it, and he may have made a fool of himself when Red Robin asked if he was right.
"Yeah tots fine" He babbles. Ugh, who says tots?! He wants to stop talking but when Wes gets nervous he tends to just word vomit and he could hear himself doing it now. "You know who else is fine?"
Red Robbin raises a brow, likely knowing the pickup line. Cowering, Wes changes the answer in a panic. "Timothy Drake!"
Red Robin stills. "Come again?"
"Timothy Drake, a boy in my class! He's fine that you think he was part siren or something. You've seen him, right? I mean you have eyes!" He repeats with a squeal "I want to get into his private liberty!"
"Do you?" Red Robin tilts his head, a slight smirk forming on his mouth. "You should try flirting with him then. Maybe he can give you a tour."
"Oh, I want more than a tour!"
Why did he say that?!
At least the hero in front of him laughs until a shout has them both looking away.
Danny is running down the street screaming his name, thank the Ancients. When Wes turns around to wave at him, Red Robin vanishes without a sound or trace.
Like a ghost.
Oh no, that's hot.
"Danny, I broke the rule"
"For Ancient's sake, it hasn't even been a month."
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netegf · 7 months
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So We Won't Forget
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pairing: f!reader x rafe cameron
plot: you meet rafe cameron at a grief support group while he struggles with the loss of his father. he's trying to be a better man, and you can't help but love him for it.
warnings: 18+, sensitive topics such as death and mourning, use of Y/N, fluff and flirting, challenging sibling dynamics, smut (P in V, size kink, lots of praise, some teasing), mentions of past drug use, rafe is reforming (?) lol
word count: 7.7 k
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Rafe didn’t know what he was thinking.
He knew Barry had given him the bright pink flier as a joke more than anything else. And he’d taken it as a joke, at least after the initial roll of his eyes, too. Ended up crumpling the sheet of paper and chucking it into the garbage can near his bedside, muttering some iteration of ‘yeah man, that’s real funny’.
His dad was dead. For real, this time. He didn’t need some corny grief support group where people sat in a circle and sang their sorrows.
He needed a fucking time machine.
Still, he had done it.
Sleep was getting harder and harder to find these nights. The temperature never felt right.
Too hot when he pulled white sheets up and over his bare hips and too cold when he let them slip down to his feet.
He rolled his body over to his side with the intention of scrolling through his phone which had become increasingly dry since his return from Guadeloupe.
But then his hand was reaching down into the garbage can and he was squinting in the dark to make out an address he’d never seen before.
It was no wonder why. The Church was so far in the outskirts of Figure 8, it might as well have been on the Cut. But it wasn't, and that was one of the only reasons why he'd reconciled with making the drive.
It was a shoddy building with peeling paint and a slanted roof, and it took him a whole twenty minutes to step outside of his truck and through the front doors.
The place gave him the chills. He felt better thinking it was because it was so run-down and he was a Kook through and through, but a part of him knew it was for a different reason entirely. He wasn’t completely sure he wouldn’t burst into flames upon entry. It wasn't long ago that he’d melted a fucking cross for Christ’s sake.
Like the man standing at the entry-way can read his mind, he claps a hand on Rafe’s shoulder and flashes him a reassuring smile. He must've been staring guardedly at the blocked off pew.  
“We just use the space on this side of the building.” The man says, gesturing to the large room with groups of scattered chairs and a long table at the back with pastries and refreshments. “There’s no, uh,” he clears his throat, then continues with a knowing glance, “religious affiliation.”
Rafe manages a nod, his fingers feeling numb and jittery all at once. His eyes rake over the room once more. More specifically, the people in it.
Some of them look like they’re itching to talk, while others look so boxed up it makes the silence in the room more chilling. Rafe decides he connects more with the latter, but there’s a spot he can’t quite reach at the swell of his shoulder blade that suddenly feels like it could use a good scratch.
“I’m Leon, by the way. The program manager.” The man, Leon, introduces himself. “Help yourself to some snacks, then grab a seat. We’ll start shortly.”
Leon shoots Rafe another smile, then saunters over to the front of the room where he sits down by a dingy whiteboard. 
Briefly, he wrestles the impulse to sprint out through the double-doors and scrub the very essence of the place off his body in a scalding shower. Sterile and dizzying, just how he likes them. 
But then his feet are trudging clumsily toward the snack table, and he downs a hot cup of coffee that splashes uncomfortably against the acid in his stomach before filling an empty chair at the back. 
"Let's see. As you take your seats and feel out the room, some of you might be asking yourselves why you even bothered to show up. Why don't we take a moment to remind ourselves why?"
To you, the introduction by the man you now know as Leon leaves something to be desired. A reminder wouldn't be necessary because forgetting wasn't the problem. 
The problem was your best friend was gone, and nothing in the world could get your mind off it. It was a strange kind of irony, really, talking about her so you could end up talking about her less. 
What better place and time was there to mourn than the beautiful Outer Banks in the summer?
At least, that's what your mother had said in a chipper tone as you rode the ferry off the mainland together.
Taking in the ambience of your surroundings, you seriously doubt she's right. The AC is blasting and you still feel sweat beading on your forehead. The place had the humidity of a greenhouse and none of the natural light. 
"We'll start our conversation small. With a partner." Leon says, breaking you out of your trance. "I'll walk around the room and pair you up."
The friendly man that Leon is, it takes him a while to get to the back of the room where he pauses in front of you.
"Alright, so that leaves... you two!"
Leon points vaguely to a figure sitting at the far corner, who lifts his head for a second to meet your eyes. A flash of blue before he looks back down again. You notice that he's not moving a muscle and probably doesn't intend to. 
"Guess I'll come to you." You mutter shortly under your breath, dragging your chair behind you as you move closer. 
Taking a seat in front of the quiet stranger, the first thing you notice is that the top of his head is pretty. Then he lifts his chin and you come to realize that the rest of him is even prettier. 
Dirty blonde hair that seems to be growing out after a cut sticks to his forehead, slightly damp with sweat. Angular jaw, beautiful blue eyes, soft pink lips pressed into a frown. He gazes at you suspiciously. 
"Rafe." 
Your eyebrows furrow, temporarily stalling your ogling. "What?"
"My name." He squints at you, pointing a slender finger to the whiteboard on which Leon has messily scrawled the words: 'introduce yourselves and explain why you're here'. 
"Rafe." You repeat, trying the name out in your mouth. It feels harsh but satisfying. Like a swear word. "I'm Y/N." 
He nods, but doesn't say anything else, his eyes flickering between the floor and a black truck you can make out through the window - like he's worried it might disappear. 
You steal a glance at the pairs around you who seem to be getting far deeper into conversation than the two of you. 
"I think we're supposed to talk." You mumble.
Rafe nods again, and his lips part for a moment, but then they close again. You fight the urge to glare at Leon for dooming your progress before it could even begin.
"I can go first." You offer with a shaky breath. "I'm here because my best friend, Stacy... died. It was, um, a car crash." 
Hating the way the silence intensifies between you, you continue. 
"I don't really know what to say. Just that she was kind of my favourite person. And she, uh... always made me feel like I was the only one in the room, you know? She just wanted to make you laugh and it was like nothing else mattered. Just us, living in our own little world."
Rafe feels a certain tightness in his chest, pressing down on his sternum.
"You're lucky." He scoffs.
It makes your face fall.
He'd tried to make it sound like a good thing, but it came out ugly, like it always seemed to. 
"I'm... lucky that my friend died in a violent car crash? Gee, Rafe. Your empathy has no bounds.” 
The turn of your voice makes Rafe's spine stiffen, his brows stiffly pinched together as he attempts to soothe over his words.
"No, I didn't mean it like that, okay?" 
You narrow your eyes at him, crossing your arms over your chest.
Suddenly, the lips that you once thought were pretty look more like what they really are. Annoying, when they move. His crisp blue polo and stupidly expensive watch are starting to get on your nerves.
"I just meant that you - look, at least you had her. That's more than a lot of people can say."
That was rich coming from a guy that looked like he had everything in the world at his disposal.
"Who'd you lose? Your gardener?" You quip. 
Rafe stares bitterly then looks down at his lap where his fingers are fidgeting.  
"My dad."
You feel your stomach churn with guilt, face getting hot.
It's the way he says it that pains you. Like it hurts him physically to get the words out. You know that feeling like the back of your hand. You wish you didn't, but you do.
Suddenly, Rafe's rigidity feels less abrasive and more heartbreaking. You wonder how long it's been, hesitant to ask because it might make you feel worse. Maybe you deserved it for leading with pettiness instead of compassion. You remind yourself that you're grieving and messy, too. 
"Oh." You choke out when an apology feels tight on your tongue.
He lifts his head up to meet your eyes, chewing on his bottom lip. "Yeah. Oh."
"I shouldn't have said that, Rafe. I'm sorry." 
"No, I get it. I shouldn't have said that either. That way, at least. I'm trying to be better at... not saying the wrong thing." He breathes, shoulders falling. "I fuck it up constantly."
"You're not, you didn't." You shake your head. "I'm just on edge. Plus, I get really cranky when I'm hot, and it's boiling in here. Promise." 
You feel a sense of relief when he cracks a smile at that, wanting to savour it. 
"And...," you trail off, catching his attention. 
"And?"
Your gaze runs over him, from the top of his handsome face, down to his shiny designer boots. 
"You're textbook Kook. I guess my whole 'eat the rich' thing got the best of me." 
Rafe laughs softly, feeling a rush in his chest. For a second, he's not thinking about a certain series of events that looms over him everywhere he goes like some sort of 'never off the clock' paralysis demon. Nor any of the bad decisions he made that led him up to that point and drove him deeper into the ground after the fact. He remembers back when he was just a regular asshole. An arrogant rich kid with poor impulse control and penchant for adrenaline. 
He's debated if he would choose to go back thousands of times. 
Part of him wants to.
He had a lot less to worry about. More parties to throw, more girls to take up to his bedroom after very little flirting on his part, more blow to keep him heady and distracted.
Help keep his mind off of the arguments with his dad.
His dad, who blew a hole in his life, and now, was gone... forever. It's something he'd imagined more times than he could count, but he would have never guessed this feeling. 
Nothing felt good anymore. Like he didn't deserve any release because his dad wasn't here to give him shit, so he'd endured nothing to warrant it. He'd started feeling guilty, more than usual, and in a more physical sense. He could feel it when he woke up. Maybe it was the guilt that woke him up every day, gasping for air and clutching his chest. It was starting to sink in and sometimes he spent the whole of the night crying. It was like his soul was being reformed. He drove to a Church, instead of calling Barry, to feel something again. 
He secretly hoped for a big, ambiguous power that would slap him awake and help him trek forward like a strong wind behind his back. But believing took a certain lack of resistance and if his father's eyes were anything to go by, Rafe was stubborn like a grease stain.
Then there was the risk of believing and still watching everything spin into chaos around you. Feeling stupid that you hoped for something different.
But things are different now. 
He's still an asshole, sure. But he's trying to work on that. 
"You're not wrong." He admits, grinning slightly. "You been to the island before?"
"Couple times. I know how you guys talk." You shrug, amused at how the jargon piqued his interest. "It's been a pretty long time, though. Don't think we've ever met."
He nods, like that makes sense to him. You shiver when his blue eyes run you up and down. 
"I would've remembered you."
Before you can respond, Leon makes his way over to the two of you, smiling to himself, mostly, because the conversation he'd manufactured appeared to be a success.
"You two look chatty." He says brightly, eyes flickering over Rafe's posture, far more laid-back than when he first walked in. 
"Just doing what you asked." Rafe replies shortly.  
"Yeah, 'course. Just that you two seemed quiet, but turns out, you're chatty. It's nice, that's all. Keep up the good work, folks!" Leon says the last part loud enough for the room to hear, enthusiastically clapping his hands together while he does it. 
"Dude's weird." 
You chuckle at Rafe's comment, watching as Leon eagerly prods at another pair. You turn back to him and shrug. 
"Definitely weird. Kinda sweet, though?"
The rest of the session continues with Leon speaking to the group, promising that next time, sharing would take place in a larger circle for deeper community. You don't miss the way Rafe's knee bounces up and down next to you. At one point, you gently put one of your palms on his knee to keep it still. You feel his stare burning a hole in the side of your face, but you don't look at him. Just a hint of a smile on your lips. 
It makes Rafe nervous. He feels something different, and he likes it, but it makes him nervous. 
"Hey... you gonna come next week?" You ask him as you sling your bag over your shoulder, trying to make sure your voice doesn't sound so hopeful. 
He pauses for a second. 
"Uh, maybe. Maybe, I'm going to have to check on a few things first." By a few things, he meant Barry. Though they'd unloaded most of the cross gold, they still worked together sometimes. Mostly because they wanted to.
He was an unlikely friend. Gruff and hard to control, but in his corner.
If Rafe was going to show up again, he didn't want Barry finding out. He'd never hear the end of it - 'you're getting soft on me, Country Club!'.
"Okay." You chirp, turning to leave and taking all of three steps before stopping again with your bottom lip wedged under your teeth.
Fuck it. 
"Hey Rafe?" You spin back, sounding hopeful and a little desperate, but honest, at least, because you are those things. 
"Yeah?" He breathes, eyes falling all around you. 
"I really hope you come."
Quickly, you turn back around and make your way to the door, hand barely gripping the knob when you finally hear his voice.
"Y/N."
You look over your shoulder to meet tender blue eyes. 
"I'll be there."
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Turns out, sharing circles are harder than they look. For Rafe, at least. 
You spoke about Stacy so easily. You spoke well of her so easily.
When Rafe heard your shaky exhales next to him, he clamped his warm, calloused hand over yours on instinct, listening thoughtfully to the way you described her favourite hobbies. The ones you loved along with her, and the ones you loved to make fun of her for. It was a good reminder for him, that the fruits of his instincts could be tender. An animal with at least some softness. He wasn't always so sure.
He spent a fair amount of time comforting Sarah and Wheezie when they cried as kids, but he was also usually the reason they started crying in the first place. 
After that first meeting, you awkwardly made your way out of the Church and Rafe followed behind you shortly after. When he watched you undo your bike lock, he puffed his red cheeks out and approached you with a slight shake in his knees. He wasn't nervous, it was just hot out - is what he tried to convince himself. 
He offered you a ride back to the house you were staying at with your mom in exchange for your number. You strapped yourself in his passenger seat with a smile on your lips and a special kind of spark flared up in your chest, the kind that makes you acutely aware of the sweat coating the back of your neck, sticking the hair to the skin, when your eyes met his in the rearview mirror. 
Rafe didn't look like the kind of guy that seemed well-intentioned when he asked for a girl's number. But he surprised you when he texted you once he got home. Then again all through the evening. And, in the days that followed. 
Between the texts and the phone calls, you covered a lot of ground. Now, Rafe knew about the time you peed yourself at an elementary school book fair, and you knew that he slept with his first dog's collar months after she died. You gushed about your favourite kinds of junk food while he raved about the hand-spun milkshakes at the club. 
Rafe's turn to speak in the circle was a mess, to say the least. He could hardly spit a few words about Ward, too busy navigating pregnant pauses and his newfound habit of stuttering. He thinks he might've called Ward 'nice', then very quickly grimaced after. When he heard his own voice through the rush in his ears, he thought it sounded nothing like him. He could barely even feel your gentle hand rubbing at his back when his words broke and cracked, leaving his throat with a nasty burn. 
Though Rafe knew his relationship with his dad was strained, he loved him.
It wasn't a comforting feeling, but it was the truth, and all he had. They both could have done better, he reminds himself. God knew that was true.
But at one point, he'd just been a kid. He needed help. He needed his father who always seemed to find business elsewhere. It made sense that talking about Ward was hard.
It made mourning him harder.
A perpetual flurry of emotions that kept his mind up at night and his hands restless. Anger and sadness always dominating the rest, but fighting their own fight with each other.
Anger when he thought about the ways his dad favoured Sarah.
Sadness when he remembered those rare early mornings Ward woke Rafe up for a surprise boat trip, just the two of them.
Back then, Rafe used to stay up entire nights in excitement at the prospect of spending some time alone with his father. Eventually, he had to force himself to accept that their last trip together had long passed, and right under his nose.
"Was it bad?" He groans, eyes screwed shut as he rubs a hand over his taut jaw, working lazily on a piece of gum.
He's still sitting when the room clears out. You stand to haul your bag over your shoulder, giving him a reassuring smile that he absorbs fully. Bright blue eyes drinking you in. 
"No, Rafe. It was fine. Everyone's too busy focusing on their own shit. You got through it just fine."
He gives you an unconvinced look, quirking a brow. Then he tugs at your bag, holding it instead. 
"You're lying." He frowns. With a hint of amusement in his voice, "God, and you're a bad liar, too."
Biting your lip, you take Rafe's hand in yours and drag him towards the exit, giggling quietly to yourself. He trails behind you, slowly shaking his head. He grins when you skip past the metal rack at the front of the building and pull him into the parking lot. You didn't bring your bike today. 
"C'mon, big guy. Let's get you a milkshake." You tease. "I know a place."
He rolls his eyes and laughs, letting you lead him in the opposite direction of his truck.
"You're going the wrong way, dumbass."
"I don't know, Rafe. It tastes kinda funny."
"That's because you mixed chocolate, vanilla, and peach. Who the fuck does that?"
Rafe sips on his chocolate milkshake as he sits across from you in the booth, an amused smirk tugging at his pink lips. The Island Club is somehow nicer inside than it is outside. The cherry-wood of the tables shines under the mood lighting and even near capacity, there's enough room for decent conversation. 
You pout, stirring your paper straw around in the metal cup. You perk up with an idea. 
"Let me try yours."
Rafe starts to laugh, eyes widening in protest. You're sweet, he thinks. He'd probably give you anything if you asked.
But that didn't mean he'd do it. He liked to think he was a little more challenging than that. 
"No, you made your bed." He shakes his head, gulping down another sip. It makes his Adam's apple bob. You stare mostly unashamed and lick your lips without thinking. "Now lie in it."
He watches your eyes get big for all of three seconds before realizing he'd lie right beside you.  
"Fuck, fine." He relents, taking his lip under his teeth, pang in his chest. "Don't look at me like that."
With two fingers, he pushes his cup in your direction and you hum happily as you sip from it. A sort of warm feeling in your stomach as you realize Rafe's mouth was on the same straw you're sucking on just moments before. 
"Do you know that guy? He's staring at you really hard." You mumble through the milkshake, but Rafe's eyes are fixated on your saliva-coated lips. 
"Huh?"
You turn your gaze to a guy at the bar. He's been staring at the back of Rafe's head for the better part of five minutes, squinting his eyes every so often as if to confirm it's really Rafe he's looking at. As he starts to come closer, you begin to understand why - his button-up shirt is half undone, his tawny brown hair disheveled, a far-away look in his blue eyes - he's drunk off his ass. 
Rafe turns to look. 
"Shit. Yeah, he's my sister's... long story." He sighs, forcing a smile as the guy approaches your table. "Hey, Top. What's going on, man?"
"Rafe!" The guy, Top, slurs excitedly. "I never see you around anymore, man. Where you been?" 
Then his eyes run over you and he chuckles. "Maybe I should be asking who you been with." 
It was true, Rafe had been sort of MIA since Sarah had returned with the news about his dad.
Well, except for that one incident. He hoped Topper was too drunk to remember that. In any case, he hadn't felt that guilty about their fading friendship - Topper had been MIA, too, ever since he went 'Rafe-crazy' and lit up the Chateau. He supposes that was his fault, too. 
Maybe he was avoiding him on purpose.
Topper reminded him of all the skeletons in his closet. It was hard enough living with the shame without a walking, talking reminder of his past. A lot of bravado and hair gel, is what it was. He regretted nearly everything now but sometimes he worried that if he spent enough time in the same places he used to, with the same people he used to, he'd somehow switch back. 
Rafe stiffens a little, but he gazes at you warmly. "This is Y/N. We met at, uh... she's..." 
"New." You finish for him. "Rafe's been showing me around."
At that, Rafe gives you a look. It made it sound like...
"Ah, that famous Cameron hospitality." The guy snorts. "I'm Topper."
The words 'Nice to meet you, Topper' die on your lips when he rams a hand aggressively on Rafe's shoulder and starts to laugh to himself, as if recalling memories. "Me and this guy? We go way back, Y/N. Best of friends, really."
You nod half-heartedly, shifting awkwardly in your seat. The leather of the chair underneath your bare thighs is starting to stick to the skin uncomfortably. 
"Alright, man, well it was good seeing you-," Rafe attempts to wave him off, but Topper doesn't let up.
"Look, dude." He whispers, lowering his head to Rafe's ear. He's not being as quiet as he thinks he is, and the next part of what he says makes you shudder. "I heard about your dad."
Rafe feels a wave of defeat wash over him. So, Topper wasn't too drunk to remember. 
It was one of the first nights after he'd heard about his dad. He'd spent as long as he could in the Island Club, ordering drink after drink, until he stumbled outside and spent a good chunk of the night puking his guts out. Unfortunately, that wasn't before letting his tongue fall a little too loose, and explaining to Topper how his dad hadn't really died on My Druthers because he was in Guadeloupe swimming in gold. But now, now he was really dead. And he wasn't coming back. And he'd barely said goodbye. 
"I'm really sorry, man. I know things have been really fucking weird, to say the least. But I'm sorry you're going through that. Again." Topper spills, feeling completely uninhibited. "Well, I guess it's only real this time around. But... you wouldn't have known that at the time." 
Topper winces at himself. He rubs a hand down his red face and stumbles away from the table. "Shit. Sorry. I'm just gonna-,"
"See ya, Top." Rafe cuts him off dryly. 
You look at Rafe cautiously as Topper makes his way, albeit clumsily, back to the bar. He lets out a deep breath and then slowly starts to shake his head, lifting his chin to meet your eyes with a look that seems to say - 'are you seeing this shit?'. 
"That guy used to be your best friend?" You ask with a hint of a smile, trying to diffuse the tension. You spare a glance at Topper who's slurring through his order of another drink. 
Rafe shrugs, letting out a wispy laugh. "We had our moments."
Moments he wasn't particularly eager to tell you about, but moments, nonetheless. 
"Do you wanna talk about it?"  
"What, Topper? Fuck no." He laughs harder. 
"No, not Topper. The meeting." You say sincerely. "Why you feel like you can't talk about your dad."
You feel your heart race a little at the question, wondering if Rafe is going to use it to be vulnerable. His face falls for a moment, but then it recovers. For a second, he considered it. But there's something bigger that's been weighing on his mind. 
"I was kinda hoping we could do something else." He says softly and moves in closer, cupping your cheek.
"Yeah?" You whisper, meeting his intense gaze. Hot breath fanning over his face. "And what's that?"
He tenderly moves a strand of hair out of your eyes, trying so hard to be soft that his hand is shaking. His blue eyes have specks of something else at this distance. It's the best colour you've ever seen. 
"I really need to kiss you."
He nods while he says it, like he's giving himself an affirmation. Then he's closing the space between you and pressing his lips over yours with a controlled kind of pressure you're really tempted to see snap one day. The way your mouth opens for his tongue nearly immediately almost makes it happen right now. And that'd really be a shame, he thinks, because he wants to ruin you when he has time and space to play with. 
"Stay with me tonight?" He mumbles breathily as you pull apart, and you nod as his thumb cradles your cheek.
You think you can maybe make out Topper whistling, but it's hard with all the blood rushing to your ears.
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Rafe kisses like affection has been missing from his life for a long time. 
His hands are almost frustratingly gentle as they caress your jaw, but his lips, which haven't detached from yours since you entered his bedroom, more than make up for it.
They're hungry and wet with spit, entirely unsatisfied until your panting underneath him and have to bury your face in his neck to take deep, deep breaths of oxygen and his fading cologne.
He bites at your mouth and neck in the meantime, then soothes over the tender spots with his tongue while you whine and claw at the silky material on his still-clothed back.  
"This. Off." You murmur throatily, parting from his lips to tug up on the hem of his shirt. You stare unabashedly at the defined v-line that peaks out from underneath, tongue darting out to wet your lips in anticipation.
Rafe laughs, but humours you, throwing the garment off over the side of the bed so that it hits the floor somewhere. 
Still hovering over you, he leans down to press several kisses to your lips, and you take the opportunity to run the flat of your hand down his warm and muscular chest, the other hand curling around the sweaty strands of his dirty blonde hair. 
Rafe actually moans out when you tug on his hair, and the pretty sound brings a rush of heat to your core.
You squeeze your thighs together and plant open-mouthed kisses along Rafe's jaw, when his phone starts to vibrate on his bedside table. 
You turn your head to glance at the bright screen and Rafe scrunches his eyebrows together, fingers pinching at your chin to turn your focus back on him.
"I don't give a fuck who it is." He laughs breathily. "I'm not picking up. I'll break the stupid thing if I have to." 
You playfully roll your eyes before Rafe's lips attach to yours again, and you hum happily against his lips as he works them raw. Then his phone starts buzzing again.
"You wanna reconsider?" You giggle. Rafe slumps his face into your chest and groans loudly, arm extending to the table to pick up the device. He lifts his head up and glances at the notification, face twisting in what looks like shock.
"It's my sister." He says, confusion evident in his tone. "My sister never calls me."
He moves to stand up and passes you an apologetic glance.
"Sorry, I gotta take this." He mumbles in a stray kiss to the crown of your head. "Gimme a sec." 
A few seconds turns into something much longer. 
It turned out that Rafe's sister, Sarah, was calling him because of some kind of commotion that was happening at a bonfire she and her friends were at.
Apparently, the person causing the commotion was someone Rafe knew.
Based on Rafe's initial surprise and the way he's been chewing through his bottom lip the whole way to the beach, you assumed Sarah calling was a last resort for her. You got the sense she and her brother didn't talk often.
"I'm gonna handle this, alright? I need you to stay right here." Rafe says sternly, nervously running a hand through his hair.
You sit in the passenger seat of his truck, which has quickly become one of your new favourite spots, with a frown on your pretty lips that makes Rafe's chest hurt. He reaches up to cup your cheek. 
He'd tried to convince you to stay in his room while he dealt with the situation, but you were adamant about coming with. You needed to make sure he was safe. It didn't feel like there were many people that had his best interests at heart. 
"If you think I'm going to let you go out there by yourself, you really don't know me, Rafe." 
His lips twitch at that, his thumb caressing the skin under your eye.
"You're infuriating, you know that?" He murmurs softly. "Fine. C'mon."
The beach is pretty at this hour, too. The sky is dark, but not completely so - an expansive dark blue that blankets the moon. In the distance, you can see the reddish-golden flames of a bonfire that illuminate a group of people. 
"You had the cross!" An exasperated voice yells. "How was that not enough for you?!"
"Yeah, I'm afraid that's old news." Another man with long dark hair retorts humourlessly. "I'mma need my fucking money. The money your punk asses stole from me, or did you forget that shit?!"
Getting closer, you can see that this group is separated from the much larger crowd behind them. Four guys, and two girls. One of the girls has shiny blond hair that glows under the light of the bonfire flames. Sarah, you guess. 
Three of the guys stand beside the girls. The other one stands opposite the rest of them, hands smoothing over something his pocket.
A soft gasp leaves your lips when you realize it's a gun.
Rafe stops suddenly. He turns to gaze at you with an intense look in his eyes, pupils hard as one of his hands grips your shoulder. The other reaches for your face, thumb brushing over your lip tenderly. 
"Don't move." He whispers. "Promise me." 
You feel your stomach churn at the request, wanting nothing more than to tug him by the hand all the way back to his truck. But you nod, hoping it helps alleviate the tension in his forehead. 
"Barry!" Rafe calls out as he turns around and approaches them. 
The man with the gun tucked in his jeans, Barry, looks over his shoulder and huffs. Rafe roughly pushes him away from the rest of the group and they divulge into a heated conversation. Rafe's jaw ticks as he listens to Barry and receives a firm shove to the chest. But he manages to placate the other man by whispering something into his ear. Barry ends up nodding, and he casts one more angry glance at the rest of the group then begins to retreat. 
"Y'all have a good night, now." He chuckles grudgingly before leaving. 
Rafe makes his way back to the rest of them, nodding at his sister. You slowly come up behind him. 
"Thanks." Sarah seems to hesitate to say. Her arms are crossed over her chest, and there are frustrated tears in her eyes.
The relationship between Rafe and Sarah has been strained for a long time. They seemed to fundamentally disagree with each other.
It wasn't always that way. Or at least, Rafe thinks, it wasn't always that way. One day, his sister upped and left it all - the big house, the fancy clothes, the nice cars - for 'Pogue life'. It still made his nose crinkle in disgust when he thought about it. But the truth was, he hadn't thought about it in a while... their dad dying worked to break them out of that feud. There were bigger things to worry about, and despite everything that went down in the last few years, they'd lived a whole life together before that.
That still meant something to Rafe. 
It meant something to Sarah, too, he thinks, because she'd been less appalled by him lately. She checked in every once in a while. A few months back, he'd formally apologized to her, and of course, it would never be enough, but he felt a weight off his shoulder when she accepted it. When he realized she wasn't scared of him anymore. 
Maybe they could move passed everything. It would take a long time, sure. But he could wait for family. The only family he has. 
One of the guys next to Sarah, wearing a backwards baseball cap, stiffens.
"Don't thank him. He's Barry's bitch." He bites like Sarah's words are absurd, then stares hard at Rafe. "In fact, he's probably just here to score some more coke."
Rafe's grits his teeth, eyes fluttering shut for a second. He opens them and shakily exhales. 
"I'm clean, now." 
Your heart clenches at how raw his voice sounds. You watch with wide eyes as the same guy scoffs at him.
"Yeah, like anybody believes that." He mumbles under his breath. Before you can try and defend him, Sarah steps in. 
"Guys, I called him." She admits, fatigue evident in her voice. It makes you wonder how long the confrontation between them had gone on before you and Rafe showed up. Another guy, one wearing a bandana across his forehead, casts Sarah a sour glance and she sighs. "You know I had to, John B. Did you want Barry to leave, or not?"
He didn't have anything to say to that. 
Sarah steps away from her friends in an attempt at some privacy. She approaches Rafe, and by extension, you, while the rest of the gang diffuses around the bonfire. Whatever had gone down in the past between these people, it was clear they wanted nothing to do with Rafe moving forward, and it was perhaps only because Sarah was family that she even entertained speaking to him. You appreciated her for that. 
"It's been a while." Sarah comments. "You've been... doing okay?"
Rafe shuffles nervously in front of her, nodding without meeting her eyes. 
"Yeah, I've been good. You?" 
Sarah nods and a silence falls between them. 
"You're still hanging around Barry?" She asks, raising an eyebrow in disapproval. 
"He's not that bad."
"Yeah, I'll try to remember that when he's not threatening me and my friends for 25 thousand dollars."
Rafe shakes his head with a new-found confidence, raising his chin to meet her stormy and inquisitive eyes. "Nah, I talked to him. He won't bother you guys anymore."
Sarah nods again, and another silence falls between them. 
"You're really doing good?" She asks again, bottom lip wedged beneath her teeth.
"Yeah, I am. I'm, uh, getting help. Got this... group thing."
At the mention of a 'group', Sarah's eyes sweep over to you, drinking in your slightly turned face and averted gaze as you try to give the siblings some space for their conversation. She feels her lips twitch a little. So much had happened. A lot she didn't think she would ever forgive, maybe should never forgive. But she couldn't deny that it was more complex than that, nor could she deny that she missed her older brother. The one from before. Who she'd make eye contact across the dinner table with when Rose waxed poetic about their new marble counters. If they could find their way back there, she'd be lying if she said the idea didn't make her happy. 
"I'm really happy to hear that, Rafe. Honestly." 
Rafe smiles weakly. They say their goodbyes and manage an awkward side-hug with each other. When he turns around, you silently take his hand in yours, and you walk along the roaring beach back to his truck. 
Back at the truck, you lay your head on Rafe's shoulder as he sits in the driver's seat, still parked at the side of the road. Rafe keeps his eyes closed, taking a deep breath before he starts to speak. 
"My dad scared me." 
Instinctively, you reach your hand over the console and tangle your fingers together. You give his hand a gentle squeeze. 
"I fucked up a lot, embarrassed him. And I, uh, I don't blame him for that. I was high all the time. Angry. Violent." He continues, sniffling slightly. "He wasn't scared of me, though. Never was."
"I guess I just wanted him to look at me and not be ashamed, you know?"
Rafe gulps, trying to let the sound of your soft hums and the warmth of your body keep him steady. 
"I did some really bad things to people. Things I'm not proud of." He whispers with his head hanging. "They didn't deserve it... and now, I have to live with that."
He shuts his eyes and exhales. 
"It's, uh... it's really hard living with that."
Lifting your head from his shoulder, you bite your lip as you take in Rafe's words, fingers reaching forward to brush away the spare tears that collect on his cheeks. He leans into your touch, finding comfort in it. 
"Hey." You say softly. "Look at you, talking about your dad. You're doing a really good job, Rafe."
He smiles weakly, his eyes trained on his lap. "Sorry tonight was a bust."
"It wasn't." You protest. "Plus, it's not over yet."
Rafe lifts his chin to look at you, his curiosity piqued.
You lick your lips and trace your fingers along his jaw, maneuvering yourself over the console to firmly grip the sides of his face and pull his lips to yours in a long and messy kiss. It's clumsy, with your noses bumping, and teeth scraping - but it's hot and it makes you feel tingly.
Rafe nips at your bottom lip shamelessly, kisses trailing down the column of your throat. "In the truck?" He asks, and you can practically hear the grin in his voice.
"In the truck." You breathe, holding back a moan when Rafe sucks on your skin. 
One way or another, the two of you find your way into Rafe's backseat. He's sitting with his legs wedged apart while you grind on top of him, muttering obscenities under your breath and weaving your fingers through his hair.
The sounds of your pleasure do more for him than he'd care to admit. When you unzip his slacks and stick your hand into his briefs to pull out his leaky cock, he throws his head back against the headrest and hisses at the contact. He is so fucking sensitive already.
"No, don't." Rafe protests breathlessly when you stroke his hard cock a few times, his hand slipping from your hip to wrap around your wrist and pull it away. Your eyes widen and you unfurl your hand immediately, only to smile when you realize why he wants you to stop. He tries to calm himself down, but can feel it building. 
"It's been a while." Rafe defends, and you giggle on top of him, pressing a sloppy kiss to the underside of his jaw. 
"Honestly, Rafe. That's really fucking hot." 
You pull your top over your head and toss it to the floor, then quickly unclasp your bra. Rafe groans immediately, half-lidded eyes so pretty and pitiful as one of his hands reaches up to grope you, while his mouth latches on to one of the hardening buds. You raise your hips to pull down your shorts, but it's not quick enough for Rafe. He tugs impatiently at the lace of your panties. 
Rafe sits you down on him, letting you control the speed as he enters you. Your mouth falls open as you attempt to take him fully, eyes screwed shut, gasp after gasp leaving your lips. 
"Fuck." You pant as he bottoms out, unable to move for a second as your head slumps in his chest. Rafe chuckles underneath you, large hands squeezing your hips. 
"You okay, baby?" 
"It's just big." You murmur, taking your bottom lip under your teeth. "It's really big, Rafe."
"I know," he coos softly as you begin to rock your hips on top of him, his own face twisting in pleasure as your pelvises kiss. "But you're doing so good, huh?"
You can barely respond, too taken by the feeling of your tight walls squeezing around him. By the sound of Rafe's deep thrusts, pistoling up into you as your hips knock into each other sloppily. Your slick dripping from where you're connected down to your thighs, squelching obscenely inside Rafe's truck, definitely staining the seats. 
"Taking my cock so well." He praises. "Splitting you in half, and you're taking it like a champ." 
You moan brokenly as Rafe hits your spot, his hand trailing down at the same time to rub circles on your aching clit with his thumb. 
"My good girl, huh? Always will be?"
You reach your climax as he presses searing kisses on your shoulder, shuddering with the kind of white hot pleasure that has your toes curling and a high-pitched whine vibrating from your throat that Rafe is sure he'll never forget. 
He comes shortly after, the way you clench around him through your orgasm enough to send him reeling. He groans, pumping his hips a few more times before he stills completely and fills the condom with his spend. He holds you tightly as you both come down, the sounds of your heavy breathing overlapping with each other.
Before his cock softens, he pulls out slowly and disposes of the latex. He presses a soft kiss to your cheekbone when you frown at the loss of contact, whimpering sweetly.
"Don't pout, princess. You need to get filled up? Right here?" A slender finger trails down to your slit, bumping your sensitive clit in the process, and it prods at your wet hole. 
He chuckles, brushing the sweaty hair from your face with his other hand. "I got that. Just gotta be patient and wait 'til I get you home. You can do that for me, right, pretty girl?"
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The next morning, you strap yourself into the passenger seat of Rafe's truck as he drives to a busted Church at the outer edge of Figure 8. He takes his seat amongst a circle of foldable chairs and you take your seat next to him. His hand reaches out to grip yours not different from how it did last night, through fucking and sleeping alike.
When it's his turn to speak, you squeeze his hand encouragingly and he takes a deep breath.
"My dad, Ward Cameron, passed away about a year ago. He was a lot of things..."
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a/n: thank you for reading! comments/reblogs appreciated!!
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neos127 · 17 days
Text
enha boys + variety shows
synopsis. headcanons in which your group along with enhypen are on a variety show together and fans seem to notice the connection between you and one specific member… genre. fluff pairing. enhypen boys x idol!fem!reader notes. if there are typos…they’re not there then!!
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lee heeseung
being the oldest of the group along with heeseung, you were both paired together when playing the whisper challenge. heeseung tried to contain the smile on his face when he sat across from you, knowing that all the cameras on you both could pick up his reaction. it was cute to see you so flustered while trying to guess what word heeseung was trying to tell her. you would never let the boy know, but constantly looking at his lips made your stomach twist and you wished you could kiss him at the moment. sometimes you would zone out, missing what heeseung was trying to say because you were too distracted by his face. your members would laugh while you put your face in your hands in embarrassment.
your clips with him went viral on twitter later for how intimate your eye contact with him was and how you seemed to be doing the ‘triangle method’ with your eyes. heeseung texted that night you after seeing the posts— the notification made you shriek and drop your phone.
park jay
your group was featured on enhypen’s en-o’ clock episode for a game of mafia. it got intense quickly with everyone yelling and accusing each other. the chaos was amusing but in the midst of it, you were the calmest one. jay became suspicious of you, believing that you were the mafia since you had barley contributed to the conversation. when you locked eyes with jay, you smirked, causing the boy to blush a bit. he was sure that you were the mafia and got all of the boys to vote for you when the time came. turns out— you were simply a villager and the mafia actually ended up being sunghoon. you wanted to throw people off, it was funny that way. especially jay who seemed to react the way you wanted him too. it was fun to tease him and watch him become all flustered.
engenes and [your group fandom name] freak out over the interactions between you two. you’re described as being very flirty towards jay while he looks at you as if you hung all the stars in the sky. so much for being subtle…oops…
sim jake
since your group only debuted a year ago, you had not yet been subjected to the classic haunted house game. when the company finally set one up, your group was paired with you brother group, enhypen. you and jake were paired together for the challenge which made the boy excited yet nervous. he had a huge crush on you ever since he first saw you in the company building, preparing for your debut. when the two of you started the challenge to go through the abandoned building and look for clues, you were immediately jump-scared. you swore jake screamed louder than you did. he grabbed you hand and immediately pulled you away, running in the opposite direction. jake wanted to seem more tough and have a vibe of ‘i’ll protect you’ but he was sure he already ruined that. the whole challenge basically consisted of the two of you screaming, grabbing onto each other and falling all over the place. but you wouldn’t have done it with anyone else.
fans on twitter were obsessed with the chemistry between you two. the way you conversed and bickered as if you were life long friends was something they adored. and the light touches and lingering gazes that suggested more than friends was immediately pointed out and analyzed like crazy.
park sunghoon
being paired with sunghoon for the heart flutter challenge was nerve wracking to say the least. you were positive that the boy knew about your feelings, and he would definitely be taking advantage of it. once the cat ears were on your head, they began to move slightly only by you looking at sunghoon. he laughed and your heart raced because of his pretty smile. it was obvious that he was making you flustered and your group mates could be heard teasing you in the background. you tried to defend yourself and make sunghoon flustered as well, but it was hard to without seeming overly flirty.
on twitter everyone is talking about how much you were blushing around sunghoon. while it was a bit embarrassing for you, it was worth it to see all the shipping comments and videos.
kim sunoo
your group and enhypen did a special weekly idol video together. you both had back to back comebacks to promote and fans loved seeing the two groups interact so the company decided to do something about that. you felt nervous being there especially since you had the biggest crush on one of the members, sunoo. you tried not to look at him too much, scared that the camera would capture your lovesick stare. what you didn’t catch was sunoo staring at you as well, a small smile on his face whenever you talked. he thought you were adorable, and he could tell that you were slightly nervous which made you even cuter to him.
later that night when you’re scrolling on twitter, you see a bunch of screenshots, videos and even edits of you and sunoo. everyone is talking about how the two of you looked and smiled at each other the whole vid. some people tried to deny it, saying that you guys were just being friendly. but it was obvious that the stares were anything but friendly.
yang jungwon
your group along with enhypen were on a variety show together. being considered their ‘sister’ group, you were paired up for a lot of activities together. one of the challenges in this show was random play dance. being the main dancer, you knew a lot of different group choreographies and were able to execute them well. being a secret enhypen fan, you were able to dance to their songs perfectly which caught jungwon’s attention. his eyes sparkled as he watched you, feeling flustered from seeing a pretty girl perfectly execute his group’s choreography. when ‘bite me’ came on, he immediately joined you, making all of the members yell out in surprise. one person wolf whistled (jungwon swears it was ni-ki).
enegenes go absolutely insane over the two of you dancing to ‘bite me’ together. everyone used to call the two of you ‘siblings’ considering that you were both young leaders and main dancers. but after seeing the way you looked at each other, people decided that it was a little too intense for ‘siblings’.
nishimura riki
being the maknaes of the group, you and riki were paired together for the telepathy challenge. the both of you stood back to back, headphones on so you couldn’t hear each other’s movements. your groups members would hold up a sign in front of you and riki that said the same word or phrase and if you could both make the same move or action, you would get a point. you and riki proved not to be very telepathic considering that all of your moves were different. that was until you both had to act out the word ‘dance’ and started doing the ‘sweet venom’ head move at the same time. both of your groups yelled out in excitement, causing you and riki to turn around and give each other high fives.
one clip of you two went viral where riki holds onto your hand a bit too long during your celebration, his eyes only trained on your face. when the boy sees it he feels extremely flustered, but he sends the clip to you with a winking emoji, hoping to send a subtle message.
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©neos127
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animentality · 10 months
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Dude I'm so confused
Why are the redditors refugees here-
Whats up with the tag 196
AND WHY IS EVERYONE BEING SO NICE WITH THE TWITTER REFUGEES CAME WE GAVE THEM HELL (almost)
The Reddit refugees are here because several subreddits have gone private in protest of reddit's new policy of charging third party developers for access to its API.
Hence the term reddit blackout.
196 specifically was a very queer friendly subreddit that had one rule: that you post before you leave. 196 is trending because those Redditors have come here and they're basically sharing their memery here instead as they protest reddit's greed.
As for why we're welcoming them when Twitter refugees were seen with a little more irritation, well.
Think of the culture similarities.
Tumblr and reddit have far more in common than Tumblr and Twitter.
Twitter is about clout and manipulating algorithms and discourse in 280 characters or less. It's about bad takes that reach the right people and it forces you to see things you don't want to see and it's crawling with the worst people imaginable and you're forced to see them, all the time. They also brought bad tagging and 2016 Tumblr discourse with them, because Twitter culture really involves starting fights for clout and braindead opinions that no one really wants to come back to Tumblr culture.
There was a time when Tumblr did the same thing, but worse, with more words...but nowadays, it's really calmed down.
The worst people...went to Twitter after the porn ban. Ironically, it made the site less toxic and hostile.
But then they came back.
And it was like...hm. no thanks. Stay back where you came from.
But Tumblr and Reddit have much more in common.
Both have a more streamlined way of customizing your online feed. You can choose what subreddits you see on your home screen, just like Tumblr only shows you the content of your followers, on your dashboard, and in chronological order rather than what's trending. You can join a very specific weird niche group of freaks with a shared obsession, and not care about the rest of the site at all. You also don't have a character limit on either site, which lets you ramble more and share weird detailed stories.
Reddit might have karma, but like Tumblr, the majority of people are lurkers and not posters. It also allows you to downvote bad opinions, and moderators who have to adhere to certain guidelines of behavior, which means a lot of banning disruptive people.
Granted, sometimes their mods are power hungry, but. You know.
It does more to control its users than Tumblr do, and that's a good thing in terms of keeping toxicity and illegal shit off its subs.
Reddit also has a way more leftwing attitude than you would think.
It has a reputation for being full of incels but I honestly think that's outdated.
It's cleaned up its act quite a bit since the old days.
I see way more vile shit from Twitter and TikTok. Like seriously.
Twitter is crawling with conservative bots and propaganda machines and just outright inflammatory lies. TikTok literally has the worst comment sections I've ever seen, like edgy teenagers cracking racist and misogynistic humor and acting like it makes them different and special. Its algorithm also spoon feeds you garbage and is designed to be as addicting as possible.
At least reddit's culture, while chauvinistic and regressive in certain subcultures, is mostly on the tech positive, atheist libertarian side.
It can be a little pretentious and caustic about certain subjects, and a little full of itself. Some reddits are also very male leaning and disregard female concerns in favor of moaning about how men have it worse than anyone else on earth.
But for the most part?
...well.
I welcome them here, because if they left reddit in protest, then we always support protests. But 196 specifically is also a queer subreddit, and we support that even more.
Plus they're funny as fuck.
What's not to like, really?
You should welcome them with open arms too.
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paradisedumpling · 3 months
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Rosy Cheeks and Warm Jackets
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trope: quarterback!minji x shycheerleader!reader; fluff; tiny bit of angst if you squint really hard
content warning: yeonjun is a bit of a perv here sorry (he checks reader out twice); brief mention of making out; reader is a bit insecure; some curse words; minji calls reader hot like once; some grammatical errors; not proof read
a/n: I wrote this a few months ago and my knowledge about american football sucks, but this trope was stuck with me for so long I had to do something about it so I hope it's not that obvious (I'm also very bad at making synopsis lol)
synopsis: you never planned to do anything about your life long crush on the quarterback of your school's football team, but fate seems to be against you and it puts you together again and again....
---------------------------------------------------
You turned around as loud whistles resonated within the school halls. The football team walked down with pride in each of their steps. Have won a very important game just the day before, who wouldn't?
You yourself had a small proud smile on your face as people cheered on them. Being part of the cheer squad, you knew a part of the win was also yours and it made you happy to know everyone's spirits seemed to be high after yesterday's game.
And because you were a cheerleader, you knew the football team personally, even going as far as to say you had friends in there. Although with being a very shy person, you were only really close with a few of your teammates. But your nice personality and popularity by simply being in the cheer squad managed to have you know a lot of people, despite your shyness.
A familiar loud bickering averted your attention from the overall image of the football team to two specific girls upfront, walking between and ahead of the entire team with big smiles on their faces; Kim Minji and Pham Hanni, the star duo of the football team.
You knew the two best friends not only from the games, but also from being in the same year and class as them and because Hanni was your best friend Danielle's girlfriend. You all hangout in the same group most of the time, but your shyness forbade you from getting too close with the duo.
Your eyes finally settled on the quarterback of the team, Minji. Tall, beautiful, easy-going, gorgeous, funny, pretty, talented at everything she touches. Minji was the definition of perfection, if someone was ever to ask you to define it. And she wasn't a mean person or thought of herself as above others, as the perfect girl in every movie did. No. That's what made her even more perfect in your opinion. Minji was perfection, the perfect one. And you wouldn't lie if you said she makes your heart skip a few beats everytime you see her or hear her voice.
It had been like that for a while, too. You and Minji had shared classes for as long as you can remember. The two of you always being in the same friend groups and were always at each others birthday parties, but you never got closer than that. You only came to share phone numbers after you got into the cheer squad. Still, Minji seemed to have always captured your heart. Since the moment you two met in kindergarten when you lost your figurine in the playground and she was the only kid who helped you find it, to all the moments you hangout together with your friends today and she buys you your favorite slushie even though she never asked your favorite before.
"Take a picture so it lasts longer." A voice beside you startled you, making you jump and turn around with a blush on your cheeks.
Kang Haerin, your best friend and a cheerleader, stood by your side as she eyed you with an annoyed expression. Haerin was the only close friend you had that knew about your not so small crush on the quarterback. Not that you didn't trust your other friends, but Danielle would eventually spill it to her girlfriend accidentally and Hyein would try to set you two together in a very obvious way. So it was better like this.
"Shut up!" You turned around, closing your locker and grabbing her arm to start walking towards Danielle's locker, face not looking at the football star players direction anymore knowing they were also going in that direction. "And I don't want to hear a word about it."
"I wasn't even going to say anything." You stopped to look at her, raising your eyebrow. She had a grin in the corner of her lips, eyes darting around as she faked uninterest. You scoffed, rolling your eyes and tugging her arm again.
"Hey, girls!" Danielle greeted you two as you approached her. You and Haerin said your greetings before she was engulfed in a hug by a certain football player. "Baby!"
You watched in amusement as the couple greeted each other and shared affection as if they haven't seen each other in ages. A giggle left your lips once you heard Haerin gagging at your side. "I'm gonna look for Hyein." You nodded at her words, still watching the couple, this time with longness in your eyes.
"They're so gross, ew." You turned to your side to be faced with Minji, a face of disgust directed at your friends actions. "Don't you think so, Y/nnie?" Your eyes widened as she turned to you, catching you looking at her.
She smiled down at you, giggling at your surprised expression. You only nodded, cheeks blushing a light red as you stared at Minji's eyes.
"Good morning, Minji-ah." You greeted shyly, eyes darting down to look at the books in your arms, clutching them tightly to your chest. "You did great yesterday."
"If it wasn't for your cheering, I wouldn't have gotten the energy to win the game." Your face got impossibly redder and you didn't know if she was laughing at you or not, but you would never complain about hearing her laugh. "You're cute when–"
"There's our star player!" Minji was cut off by a loud voice and a smack on her shoulder. You both turned to look as a tall boy smiled at her with pride while you tried to calm your racing heart as you caught Minji's attempt of complimenting you. "You were seriously amazing yesterday! We need to have more practices together cause I have to learn that pass you did to get us the match point!" You watched as he excitedly engaged into a conversation with Minji, who simply nodded and smiled at him.
The boy was none other than Choi Yeonjun, the captain of the masculine football team and a starting eleven player. You.... were very acquainted with Yeonjun, if you could call it that. Yeonjun was the type of person that knew everyone in and out of school. He was very popular and social and it wasn't uncommon for him to hop between friends in the school halls. Still, he had his group of close friends. And one of these close friends was Huening Kai, a tennis player in your school who had a younger sister you were friends with, Huening Bahiyyih. One time last year she invited you to their beach house for a gathering with a few athletes in the school, and Yeonjun was there. You didn't interact much at the beginning, but after Bahiyyih dragged you to dance one night you seemed to have caught his eyes. For the remaining time at the beach house he openly flirted with you and tried to get you to go on a date with him, but you always turned him down. After all, you had eyes for another football player. But that didn't prove much efficient as to this day he still tries to date you.
"And when you grabbed the ball and started running–" Yeonjun's eyes flickered towards you for a slip second as he was passionately talking about yesterday's game with Minji and he finally seemed to notice there was someone else with her before he approached, you just couldn't decipher if he had also seen Hanni and Danielle making out behind the three of you or not. He faltered in his speech as he stopped to check you out and you suddenly became very conscious of the revealing cheer uniform you were wearing. "Oh, hey there Y/n. I didn't see you before, sorry." You tightened your grip on your books, smiling politely at him. You shifted uncomfortably as he bluntly checked you out. "Nice fit."
"Thanks." You mumbled with a tight smile, bringing a hand down to pull your skirt down. It wouldn't do anything, but it was an effort. You mentally cursed yourself for not coming with a pair of sweatpants like Haerin and Danielle did. You see, you normally don't wear your uniform around school like that, unless you have practice during the first periods of class. But as per tradition, you always take a group photo after big games. Yesterday you couldn't because of the after party so you were going to take it today during lunch time, and your coach insisted you all came with your uniforms so it wouldn't take too long. You were not expecting to deal with Yeonjun or any other of your admires before you could change to your normal clothes though.
"So." Minji cleared her throat, eyeing Yeonjun with disgust as she leaned closer to you and wrapped her arm around your shoulders. That seemed to snap Yeonjun's eyes from your exposed legs. "We can talk with our coaches about the joined practice later, right?" Yeonjun nodded as he eyed Minji's arm around you, blinking a few times before he looked up to look at her in the eye, a bright smile on his lips.
"Totally!" He put his hands inside his jacket's pockets, standing carelessly on his heels as if the action didn't affect him, but both you and Minji knew it did.
"Great!" She smiled at him and if you were looking you'd see the threat in her eyes. "We have to go fetch the other girls right now, if you don't mind. See you later!" Not giving him any time to reply, she grabbed Hanni by the back of her collar and started dragging her away, gently rubbing your shoulder and ushering Danielle. "Come on Dani, before Haerin let's Hyein buy that gross candy again."
"Damn bro, no need to choke me." Minji let go of Hanni when you were far away enough from Yeonjun and you watched the poor girl rub her neck as she stared at Minji judgely. "What was that for?" Hanni asked, wrapping her arm around Danielle's waist as the four of you walked towards the interior court where you knew Haerin and Hyein were.
But the oldest girl simply ignored her best friend. Instead, she turned to you, gently whispering in your ear. "Are you okay?"
You nodded, blushing at her breath on your ear. "Yeah, thanks." You sighed, looking down at your exposed legs and arms. Probably the only thing you hated about cheerleading was the summer uniforms. "I should've come with leggings or something at least, that's on me. Sorry." You looked up as you apologized, staring into her beautiful eyes that held nothing but concern. You didn't fail to notice the pout on her lips.
"It's his fault for being a creepy perv, not yours." She grumbled, arms pulling you closer as she practically hugged you to her chest. Suddenly, her eyes light up as she let go of you. You couldn't help the pang in your chest as she did so. "Here." She started taking her varsity jacket off and you eyed her with curiosity. "It's not much but I hope it helps." Your eyes widened once you realized what she was doing and you couldn't help the blush on your cheeks as she gently helped you put her varsity jacket on. Minji smiled proudly as she stared at you.
"Thanks, Min." You smiled shyly at her, averting your gaze and missing how her eyes softened at the nickname.
Minji didn't put her arm back around your shoulders as the four of you continued on your way to meet up with the rest of your friends, but she remained close and kept an eye for anyone else glaring at you.
Finally, you reached the interior court. "There they are!" Danielle pointed to your usual corner, where you could clearly see the two bickering about something. You let a small smile rest on your face as you watched them, shaking your head as you approached calmly.
"Unnies!" Hyein jumped as she saw you four approaching, running to grab you by your hand and drag you to where she previously was. "Can you help me with my arts homework? I forgot to do it yesterday and Haerin doesn't want to help me." She pouted, looking at you with pleading eyes.
"You know your teacher will eventually realize I'm the one doing your homeworks, right?" You sighed as you sat down beside Haerin, waiting for Hyein to hand you her homework.
Danielle and Hanni came to sit behind you three, engaging into a conversation with Minji, said girl remained standing and she put one of her feet on the bench on the other side of Haerin for support and crossed her arms on her chest. You momentarily lost yourself as you watched her laugh at whatever nonsense Hanni said, her head falling back as her eyes grew into crescent moons. God, she's beautiful.
"Here, unnie!" You turned to Hyein, trying not to blush as your eyes came down to your lap to scan her homework.
You two quietly worked on her homework as your other friends chatted. It wasn't an uncommon dynamic for all of you. Hyein was smart and dedicated, but she often used her status as youngest in the group to have any of you help her with her homeworks. In her words "Since you already did it before, it should be easy right?" And it normally was. None of you ever minded helping each other with anything. But the lingering perfume on Minji's jacket had your mind wandering more times than you'd like to and you took longer to complete Hyein's homework than you do on other days.
After you finally finished it and let the girl to gather her things in her backpack, you grabbed your cellphone to look at the time. You only had fifteen minutes before your classes begin, so you turned to the chatting girls as they seemed too engaged into their conversation to notice the time passing.
Your eyes darted between the two football players and your cheermates, feeling too shy to abruptly interrupt their conversation. So, you eyed Danielle. You tapped her leg, leaning closer as she turned to you confused. "We need to go, class is about to begin." Her mouth gained a oval shaped and she nodded, smiling at you and patting your head.
You watched with slightly flushed cheeks as she warned the other girls and you all got up to walk to class, Minji and Hanni still engaged into their conversation as you made your way out of the internal court.
Once you were approaching the point were you'd all split up to go to your perspective classrooms, Haerin pulled you back by the arm. You eyed her with confusion as she stared at you amused. "What?"
"What?" She mocked, looking down at your torso. You eyebrows furrowed deeply as you looked down, blushing in realization as you took notice of Minji's jacket, not that you ever forgot it was there. "What happened while I was gone?" She wiggled her eyebrows at you, quietly giggling at the blush spreading all over your face.
"Shut up, Rinnie!" You shushed her, looking away at anything but her face and the quarterback walking in front of you two. "Yeonjun was flirting with me again." You heard her groaning and you could imagine the immense eye roll she did. "Minji was simply trying to make me comfortable because I'm stupid and forgot pants."
"I knew I should've brought spares." She mumbled, cursing Yeonjun under her breath as you approached the hall where all of you parted ways.
You watched as Hanni and Danielle kissed and hugged goodbye, turning to give your own hug to Hyein. The younger girl waved to you all before skipping down towards her classroom and you waived to Danielle as she went on her own way too.
"I swear if that asshole–" Haerin still mumbled and you couldn't help but giggle at your friend's protectiveness. You pulled her into a hug, shushing her as she realized you had all stopped walking and Hyein and Danielle were already gone.
"I'm okay, Rinnie. Don't worry." You whispered in her ear, pulling back to give her a smile. That seemed to calm her down enough as she waved to Minji and Hanni and hurried towards her classroom.
"Why is everyone so grumpy today, man?" Hanni asked as she pulled you to stand between her and Minji, the three of you walking calmly to your own classroom. "First Minji and now Haerin. Is the water tasting like shit again?"
"Stop being gross!" Minji returned grumpily and you giggled as Hanni looked at you with an 'I told you so' face.
"Stop being a dick!" You laughed as the duo kept on bickering all the way to your class and in your tables, shaking your head.
"I'm not being a dick, your ass–"
---------------------------------------------------
"Alright girls, take five!" You heard Danielle groan in relief as Chaewon, the cheer captain, announced the break.
You and the rest of the cheerleaders have been practicing for a few hours now, the new routine being a bit more tiring than the ones you've been doing for the past few months. Theoretically, you all had a break until next week due to the win in the game the day prior. But your coach wasn't satisfied with your performance this season and she wanted to polish your routines as soon as possible, so here you all were practicing.
You walked towards the bench and grabbed your water bottle, quietly laughing as Danielle and Hyein laid down on the floor with wet cloaks on their foreheads. Haerin came up to the three of you and sat down on the bench, taking the bottle from your hands before you had a chance to take a sip of it. "Hey!"
"Not my fault you're busy staring at other people." She teased, laughing at your annoyed face before downing the water.
"Don't you do the same?" Hyein asked, looking at you two with a tired face. You smiled sympathetically at her, walking to crouch down besides her head and brush the hair sticking on her face due to the sweat away.
"That's why I can comment on it." Haerin replied, tossing you the water bottle. You grabbed it with a yelp, scolding her for not warning you beforehand. "At least I talk to Minji unnie instead of just staring." She mumbled, trying to hide her smirk as you looked at her with disbelief.
"What did you say?" Danielle asked, opening her eyes to look at the three of you with curiosity. "I didn't hear it."
"She said nothing." You glared at Haerin, silently daring her to repeat her words. She looked away, pretending to be interested in something else. "Anyways." You turned to Danielle, standing up and drinking your water. "What are you guys doing tonight? It's Friday."
"Oh! I'm going on a date with Hanni tonight!" Danielle's energy suddenly came back as she sat up quickly, the cloak falling from her forehead. But she didn't seem to mind as her smile only grew bigger, her eyes staring at the sky as she seemed to be getting lost in her own head. "She said there's this nice restaurant she's going to take me!" Her voice was dreamy and you smiled longingly as your friend kept talking. "And then later we're going to my house and watch some movies!"
"I have homework to do." Hyein groaned loudly and you all laughed as you watched her annoyed face. "Why do they give us so much homework?"
"Welcome to highschool." You, Danielle and Haerin groaned, rolling your eyes. "Good luck, Hyennie." Hyein whined at your guys words, pouting.
"I'm going to the cinema with my mom and my sister." Haerin said her plans for the night, getting up from the bench. "But we'll probably have dinner somewhere before too." She walked up to Danielle as you could see Chaewon and your coach slowly gathering the other cheerleaders. "We might run into each other if I'm lucky." She told Danielle with a sly grin as she helped the older girl stand up.
"Oh please, no." You laughed at Danielle as you helped Hyein get up. "The last time you guys crashed my date it didn't end up well." The australian's eyes widened in fear as she remembered the fateful date.
"It wasn't that bad." Hyein said as you three tried not to laugh at Danielle's expression of disbelief. "We just got banned from that restaurant for what? Three months? Nothing serious."
"You embarrassed me in front of my girlfriend!" Danielle exclaimed as you started to walk back to the middle of the court, hands going up as her body expressed her emotions. "And that was Hanni's favorite restaurant too! She was so sad." The girl pouted and Haerin and Hyein laughed at her as you laid a hand on her shoulder sympathetically.
"We apologized and she said it's all good now." You tired to comfort your friend, glaring at the two youngests that kept laughing. "She laughs everytime someone mentions it, even."
"You're right." Danielle smiled, nodding and turning to face you. "What about you, Y/n? You were the only one that didn't say what you're going to do tonight."
"Oh." You blinked at her, shrugging as you turned to your captain. "I'll probably just go home and do nothing important."
"You should go out with Minji." You choked on your own spit as the words left Danielle's mouth, turning to look at her with an evident blush rising on your face. "She's not doing anything as far as I know and neither is you, it's a perfect idea." You looked at Haerin behind her with wide eyes, silently asking her if she told the australian anything about your crush on Minji, but she seemed as surprised as you were.
"W-Why?" You cursed yourself mentally for stuttering, looking away so Danielle wouldn't see the embarrassment and shyness in your face.
"Because you're friends and you both have nothing to do on a Friday night?" You were glad she sounded genuinely confused at your question, but you couldn't help fear that she had figured out you liked Minji. You loved and trusted Danielle with your life, but if Hanni and Hyein ever found out about your crush the three of them would become the most obvious and chaotic cupids to date. And that thought horrified you. Minji deserved someone social and cool, and you didn't want to ruin your entire friend group's friendship over a stupid crush you had on the quarterback.
"We'll talk about this later." You mumbled, straightening you back as your coach yelled that the break was over.
---------------------------------------------------
You sighed as you tied your shoes, feeling relaxed after a cold shower in the locker rooms. Practice ended about an hour ago and you took your sweet time showering and dressing up. Haerin and Hyein had already left, the younger taking the opportunity to take a ride with the catlike girl. Danielle on the other hand, was still putting her shirt on by your side in front of her locker.
Talking about the australian girl. "Dani!" Kazuha, one of your cheermates, yelled to your friend, making the girl turn around while she pulled her shirt down her torso. You simply resorted to finishing putting your shoes on. "Hanni's here!" Your friend squealed in excitement and you giggled at her, shaking your head.
You tuned their conversation off, shifting your attention to a certain quarterback that seemed to always plague your mind. You clutched Minji's varsity jacket to your chest as you finished tying your shoes, a small smile resting on your lips as you reminisced about how beautiful she looked during class, laughing at whatever nonsense your classmates and Hanni said. You brought the jacket to partially hide your face when your memories brought you to a moment during bio class where the teacher assigned you all a group activity and as per tradition at this point, the football players and the cheerleaders stick together on the same group. Yunjin, a football player, was blocking your way towards your seat and she was so engaged into the activity with Kazuha that you felt too shy to ask her to move, so you waited patiently behind her. But Minji noticed you behind her and instead of asking Yunjin to move, she lifted you up so you could pass above the tables instead. To say you were a blushing mess after that was an understatement, and to make matters worse for you, or better, Minji kept an arm around your waist during the entire class, always smiling down at you and giggling at your rosy cheeks. Gosh, you loved that girl.
"I hope you're thinking about me." You jumped startled, hand gripping on the jacket as whoever just spoke to you giggled at your reaction. You looked up to see Minji looking down at you with her beautiful smile, eyebrows quirking up as you finally knowledged her. "Hi, Y/nnie."
"Hey, Min. What are you doing here?" You smiled at her, fighting back your blush as you got up and put the jacket in your hands on, finally noticing how quiet the lockers room had gotten. The others must've already left, but you didn't want to tear your eyes from the football player in front of you.
"I'm giving a ride to the girls for their date, so we came to pick Dani up." You nodded and your eyes locked for a few seconds, before you averted your gaze and went to grab your gym and school bags. "Are you going somewhere tonight too? I can give you a ride if you want."
"Oh, it's okay." You shaked your heard, looking away to see Danielle and Hanni in their own little world, giggling with each other. "I'll just go home and figure out what I'll have for dinner because no one's home for a while and there's nothing in the fridge..." You accidentally rambled, trailing off as you caught Minji smiling at you.
"Wanna go out?" You blinked at her question. Was she asking you on a date? I mean of course not, why would she? She's just asking her friend to go out because you have nothing to do and she has nothing to do so she must want to go out with her friend. Just that. Nothing else. Of course Minji wouldn't be asking you on a date why would she– "Y/n? You're cute when you get lost in your head like that." She giggled and you were certain your entire face was very red.
"What?! I am not!" You playfully slapped her shoulder, leaning into her as you both laughed, you more because of embarrassment than anything else.
"So." She held your waist with one hand, brushing a few strands of hair from your face with the other. "Wanna go out? We can go that convinience store close to my grandparents house." Your eyes lit up at that. That convenience store was one you'd go often when you were kids to buy ice cream and watch cartoons because her grandparents never let you watch them at their house.
"I would love to!" You smiled a her, big and genuine. Minji smiled down at you, caressing your cheek as she nodded. "How have they been, by the way? I haven't seen them in so long!"
"They ask about you a lot, actually." You looked at her in surprise and she only nodded, giggling. "You know they love you." You shaked your head at that, blushing slightly. "My parents miss you too. You should come over more often, I feel like we barely talk outside school or when we are not with the girls." You nodded, feeling a bit guilty. You wouldn't lie in saying that your crush had strained your friendship with the girl because of your shyness around her. But you were glad she wanted to see you more often.
Before you could engage deeper into your conversation, Hanni and Danielle came up to you two holding hands and with big smiles on their faces. "Dani's ready to go. Oh hey, Y/n." You waved at Hanni, smiling at your friends happiness. "Let's go, Minji. We have reservations, we can't be late."
"Ready to go?" Minji looked at you and you nodded. The quarterback smiled and laced her arms with yours, starting to walk away with the couple to the parking lot.
"Oh, you told her about my idea from earlier?" Danielle asked as she noticed you were following them to Minji's car.
"What idea?" Minji and Hanni looked between the two of you with curiosity and you couldn't help but look down embarrassed.
"Nothing–"
"Y/n had just said she would be doing nothing tonight so I suggested she should go out with Minji since she was also doing nothing tonight." Danielle cut you off before you could dismiss her and you were glad it was dark otherwise as Minji looked down at you with amusement she would've seen the blush spreading over your cheeks.
"Seems like us going out today was destiny." She said in a deep voice, pulling you closer and giggling at you before she let go of your arm to round the car and go towards the driver's seat. "Y/n's taking the front seat!" She glanced at Hanni who was about to open the passenger's seat door.
"Why?!" You and Danielle muffled your laughs at the girl's genuine offense. "You ask her out once and now she has passenger princess privileges?" Hanni huffed as she walked to the backseat with her girlfriend, closing the door behind her a bit harsher. "I thought we were mates, bro." She continued complaining as you all got inside Minji's car, buckling up before the older girl started the vehicle.
"Shut up and enjoy your free ride, Hanni." Minji shaked her head, giving you an reassuring smile as she saw you were feeling a bit panicked by Hanni's reaction. "She's just being dramatic, don't worry." She whispered to you before turning to face the street.
After turning on the radio, you all fell into a comfortable ambience as the couple in the backseats talked about their plans for the night, while you and Minji silently laughed, teasing them every once in a while for good laughs.
When Minji parked in front of the restaurant Hanni and Danielle would be having dinner at, she opened the window and peaked her head outside to look at the couple getting out of the car. "Remember to call your parents when you get home!" She said as she looked at Hanni, pointing an accusing finger at her. "I don't want your mom at my door at 3AM again because you forgot to text her you got at mine's safely!"
"Damn bro, that happened once!" Hanni mumbled angrily, having a bickery staring contest with Minji before Danielle broke it with a quiet laugh.
"We will, unnie. Don't worry." Danielle smiled, lacing her fingers with Hanni's. "Have a good night you two!" They waved at you two goodbye, and you turned to Minji as she mumbled.
"It was three times, actually." You giggled, and looked around faking uninterest as Minji looked at you puzzled. "Well... Shall we go to our date now?"
"Y-Yes!" You squealed, face becoming more red as Minji laughed at you. You were rigid in your seat as her hand lightly squeeze yours in your lap before shifting the gear from parked to begin driving away from the restaurant.
---------------------------------------------------
"I think I'll just have these." You handed Minji the items you wanted to buy from the convinience store: two tuna onigiris, a strawberry sandwich and a bottle of strawberry juice. The girl put the items in the basket she had looped on her arm, smiling at you sweetly. "Are we going to eat here or on your car?"
"Actually, I was thinking–" But before Minji could finish her phrase, she was interrupted by the sound of your phone ringing in the pocket of her jacket you were still wearing.
You smiled at her apologetically before grabbing your phone, looking at the familiar name popping on the screen. "Oh, it's Haerin." You were a bit confused on why the girl was calling you so late at night without warning, but you brushed it off remembering she had gone to the cinema and was either excited about it or bored by it.
"You should pick it up, Haerin doesn't usually call people." You nodded, knowing very well all the habits of your best friend. You once again smiled apologetically at Minji, but she simply gave you a sweet smile. "I'll finish grabbing my things and meet you outside?"
"Thank you, you're amazing." Wanting to rush out and answer Haerin's call before it went to voicemail, you stood on your tiptoes and kissed Minji on her right cheek as another thanks before rushing out of the store and answering the call. "What's up, Rin?"
"The movie was good but now mom's complaining about how it wasn't 'realistic' and now I'm annoyed, so I decided to annoy you too. What are you doing?" You laughed at her annoyed tone, pulling the jacket tight around your torso as a chilly breezy ran past you.
"Out with Min." You giggled at Haerin's loud gasp, feeling the warm on your cheeks, but you told yourself it was because you were cold. "She invited me to go to a convinience store close to her grandparents house. And don't be weird about it! We used to come here as kids."
"What happened after I left?!" The annoyance she had seconds ago was long gone and that made you laugh at her, lightly pacing back and forth on your reels to warm your body a little. "So, have you two kissed yet?"
"Shut up!" The warm on your neck was definitely not from the cold and you had to bite your lower lip to stop yourself from smiling at the thought of kissing the quarterback. "It's a totally platonic outting. Nothing else. And stop being weird."
"Dude, you're so dense it's frustrating sometimes." You could hear the roll of her eyes in her voice and that made your eyes roll too. "Just tell her you like her already!"
"Stop!" You squealed, looking back afraid Minji might be near, but you saw her attentively looking through the freezer for something to drink. She looked cute. "She doesn't feel the same anyways, so there's no need for that."
"You don't know it until you confess!" You rolled your eyes once again, sighing in annoyance. "Come on, Y/n! Don't be a coward for once!"
"Why are you so insistent on this? Can't I just like her from afar?" You could never understand why Haerin was so insisted on making you confess to Minji. Was it so hard for her to understand the football star would never return your feelings for her?
"No, you can't!" The girl groaned on the other side of the line and you heard some movement before she spoke again. "Use this date as an opportunity to finally bitchen up and tell her you like her! What's the worse that could happen?"
"Loose Minji's friendship?" You said that like it was the most obvious thing ever, frustration starting to build up in your chest. "Which I already am by the way, because I'm a stupid coward."
"Then stop being one!"
"Can you stop instigating me for once, Kang Haerin?!" Your voice raised a little, gripping your phone as your fear of rejection surfaced from the depths of your heart. "I'm not telling Minji I like her! End of story!" There was a loud groan from the other side of the line and you where about to tell her you wouldn't do what she wanted you to once again when a voice from behind you stopped you from doing so.
"You like me?"
Your eyes widened, body going rigid as Minji walked in front of you, looking you direct in the eyes. Suddenly, the firm grip you had on your cellphone loosened and your phone slowly fell from your hands. The loud sound it made as it hit the floor made you jump a little, but you didn't move to pick it up. You didn't blink as Minji eyes stared deeply into your own. You could feel your entire face going red and your hands start to shake from fear. This was it. The secret was out. She was going to reject you and you were going to loose one of your closest and best friends and she was going to–
"Why didn't you tell me before, silly?" She laughed. Minji laughed. Her eyes were crescent moons, just like they always were when she was happy. You'd know that much, you're always staring at her. And she had a faint blush on her cheeks. You were confused, and still locked in place. "Oh, Y/n." She stepped close to you, her voice dropping two octaves, making goosebumps go through your entire body. She brought both of her hands to your cheeks, gently caressing them. You couldn't get any redder than this. "You're cute when you're blushing."
"M-Minji I- What are you doing?" You said in a whisper, gulping down as her body was practically flush to yours. You could feel her warm breath hitting your face.
"Can I kiss you, Y/nnie?" Your eyes went wide at that and your vision became a bit blurry. Your breath got stuck in your throat and you nodded eagerly before your hazy mind could understand what you were doing.
Minji giggled at the confused and awestruck state you were in, before looking down at your lips and leaning in, the phone on the floor long forgotten by both of you.
Your mind went blank before beginning to register things again. Minji's lips were soft and a bit cold, but they felt so incredibly good. They tasted faintly like the milk chocolate you knew she loved. You took a few seconds to relax from the shock, closing your eyes and sighing into her lips before wrapping your hands around her neck. You felt Minji smile into your lips before she let one hand go of your cheek, pulling your closer to her by the waist and deepening the kiss.
You both pulled back when air was needed and you rested your head on her shoulder, giggling quietly as she gently caressed your back.
"I like you so much, Y/n." You pulled back just enough to look at her, your eyes shining with love as you bit your lips in slight shyness from her affectionate gaze.
"I think I've liked you since I met you, Minji." You took all of your courage to say that confidently, smiling brightly at her as she smiled back at you.
"Hmm, that's good." She mumbled, leaning in smiling before she captured your lips on hers once again. You were already getting addicted to the feeling of them.
This time, you were both interrupted by your phone ringing, Haerin's familiar ringtone making you remember your phone.
You pulled back with a quiet 'Sorry', crouching down to pick your phone up, that was luckily not broken, and quickly texted your best friend that your data was almost over and you'd talk to her later. You looked back at Minji, suddenly feeling shy under her sweet gaze that held a new meaning in your eyes and heart.
"So, wanna take this date to somewhere else? I don't wanna ask you to be my girlfriend in front of a convinience store." She eyed the glass sliding doors with an awkward smile, but your mind focused on something else. Girlfriend... Minji wanted to be your girlfriend. Holy shit Minji liked you! "Baby? Let's go?"
"Yes!" You squealed at the pet name, blushing brightly as she giggled and grabbed your hand, dragging you towards her parked car.
"By the way." She turned to look at you once you stopped in front of the passenger's seat, looking down at you with a sweet but mischievous smile. "You look very cute and hot wearing my football jacket."
"Kim Minji!" You squealed in disbelief as she rounded the car laughing loudly.
---------------------------------------------------
You closed your locker with a sigh, turning to face Danielle and Haerin as a few of your cheermates bid you goodbye. It was Monday again and the three of you had just changed your cheer clothes from practice before classes to your normal school ones.
"What is taking Hyein so long?" The australian mumbled, looping her arms around both yours and Haerin's arms to begin leading you towards the youngest's locker.
A few of the students waved at you three, but everyone seemed to be in their own little world. It was Monday, and most of the clubs were on a small break, so the mood around the school was a bit more chill than usual. And no sight of the two football star players like you used to see every morning.
You spotted the tall girl you were looking for speaking to a few of her classmates. When she spotted you the three of you, she waved and smiled brightly. But wishing to let Hyein speak patiently to her classmates, you pulled Danielle back to slow her pace and allow the three of you to walk slowly towards the younger girl.
Once you were close to reaching her, a loud voice seethed through the peaceful atmosphere of the hallway calling out your name. "Y/n! Wait!" You looked back confused, letting go of Danielle's arm to be greeted with the sight of Yeonjun running in your direction with a football in his hands.
"Oh, hey. Good morning, Yeonjun." You gave the boy a tight but polite smile, grateful that this time you were wearing clothes that covered your body. You could feel Haerin's intense gaze at him from behind you. "You seem excited."
"I heard well have a joined practice tomorrow!" You nodded, folding your arms in front of your torso as you hugged yourself, starting to feel uncomfortable under his intense gaze. You might not be wearing revealing clothes, but the way his eyes traveled down your body made you feel exposed just as much. "So, I was wondering if you'd like to go out with me after it." You blinked at him, not failing to hear the growl Haerin let out from behind you.
"Yeonjun..." Your voice was serious, and a bit annoyed if you were being honest, but you remained your politeness, feeling shy about making a fuss in front of so many people. "No. You know I don't see you like that."
"Just give me a chance!" He slapped his ball in frustration, looking pleadingly in your eyes. "Why not?!"
"Because she doesn't want to!" Haerin angrily answered for you. You turned to give her a stern look, turning back once again to look at Yeonjun, feeling small but annoyed under his gaze.
"I don't like you like that, Yeonjun." You sighed frustrated, fingers slightly fidgeting with the necklace you had under your shirt, the necklace Minji gave you while you didn't have official rings yet. "Besides, I'm not even sin–"
"Hey, babe." Familiar arms looped around your waist, a sweet kiss being planted on your cheeks as a big smile immediately formed on your lips. "Good morning."
You turned to look at your girlfriend Minji, standing on your tiptoes to give her a sweet kiss on her lips. "Good morning, baby. How are you doing?"
"Great, now that you're here." She smiled down at you and was about to say something else when a shocked cough interrupted her. Minji turned to look at Yeonjun, giving him a not so subtle annoyed expression. "Oh hey, Yeonjun. Were you and my girlfriend talking about something important? Sorry to interrupt you." You loved how she said girlfriend in a protective way, pulling you closer to her and tightening her hold on you.
"Oh, it was nothing." You interrupted Yeonjun before he could answer her, feeling a bit more confident in the safety of her arms. "Don't worry about it."
"Yeah, it was nothing." He mumbled, smiling awkwardly. "See you two around." He skipped away quite quickly, mumbling something under his breath.
You turned to look at Minji as she cursed him quietly, giggling as you gently caressed her nape to calm her down. You were about to lean in to kiss her again when a loud squeal interrupted you.
"I'm sorry?! I think I missed a chapter!? Girlfriend!?" The two of you turned to look at your friends, all plastering shocked faces, but Haerin was the only one smiling between them.
"Oh, did we forget to tell you guys?" Minji said nonchalantly, blinking at them before a big smile appeared on her face as she turned to look at you. "We are dating!"
"You fucking asshole! I knew your data was fine!" Haerin slapped your shoulder, quite strongly, as she recovered from her surprise. "I told you it'd go well!"
"Wait, Haerin knew about this?!" Hanni pointed accusingly at the catlike girl, still looking between you and Minji in shock.
"She knew I liked Minji..." You trailed off shyly as you looked between Danielle and Hyein, waiting their reaction to the new information.
The australian girl seemed to finally snap out of her shock, jumping excitedly on top of you and your girlfriend, squealing loudly. "You have to tell me everything! I can't believe it! I can't believe it! You two look so cute together!"
"What are your intentions with my unnie?" Hyein pointed at Minji, trying her best to look intimidating, but she looked toi happy to be taken seriously.
"Don't worry about her, kid. I'll take good care of Y/nnie for you." Minji laughed at Hyein, patting her head.
"What the fuck, bro!" Hanni also joined her girlfriend in the hug, pulling you and Minji's faces close to her. "Congrats, man! You finally got the girl!"
"Okay, wait." Danielle pulled back, looking at her cellphone. "We have thirty minutes before class, you have to tell us everything!"
You all laughed, beginning to walk towards the court to your usual spot, your girlfriend's arm securely wrapped around your shoulders, and you were still wearing her jacket.
---------------------------------------------------
a/n: this is honestly kind of very bad but if you read it once and then think about the scenario in your head it's kinda cute so it's okay I guess
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etherealstar-writes · 3 months
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I WANNA BE YOURS | LIONESSES X READER | PT 4
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pairings: lionesses x reader
summary: in which you're accidentally added to a random group chat, not knowing they're all actually famous footballers, and obliviously end up having many of them competing for your love and attention.
part: four
part one here
✦ ——— ✦ ——— ✦
THE NATIONAL DIVING TEAM
elton
how is everyone on this fine evening?
the REAL karate kid
great until you rudely woke me up
from my peaceful nap
stairway
L
the imposter
eh not too bad
but my friend keeps on spamming me
with these tiktok edits
neev
tiktok edits you say 👀
what of?
the imposter
these girls she's kinda obsessed with
and finds them incredibly good-looking
and wants to know who my fav is or
who i find the most good-looking
elton
ooh really?
i wanna know who
let us google em and say our opinions
the REAL karate kid
and which one did you find
the most good-looking?
the imposter
i don't really know who any of them are 😭
but they're playing football in some clips
so i'm guessing they're football players?
elton
oh 😳
stairway
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this will be interesting
earpsy
ah well describe them
so how many were there?
and who was the best looking?
i wanna keep an eye out if they
turn up on my fyp
the imposter
well there were quite a few
there was this one specific blonde
that she continuously spammed me
edits off the most
and i think she was the captain idk?
willybum
i feel like i've seen that blonde before!
i reckon she's everybody's favourite
since she's the most good-looking
stairway
what a big fat lie
elton
as if
the imposter
eh, everyone's fav?
i mean i see where people are coming
from but that's kinda stretching it ...
there are so many more players
that seem to be just as great if not better
the REAL karate kid
see
thank you
you get it
just like everyone else
someone just needs to knock
some sense into leah
and i'll gladly do it rn
BACK TF UP 🤺
lotte
who is your favourite player tho, y/n?
neev
i'd love to know too
stairway
come on, that's easy
it's gotta be stanway
right?
the REAL karate kid
y/n, my love
it's russo isn't it
elton
hey hey hey
we forgetting toone too
the REAL karate kid
shush
the imposter
um i'm still uncultured okay 😭
i don't know any of their names yet
oh but i do know one of their names
i think she's pretty cool
neev
ooh do tell who this lucky person is
that you find pretty cool
the imposter
it's lucy bronze
willybum
NAHHH
SHUT UP
stairway
NOT THAT OLD RUSTY GRANDMA 😭
OUT OF EVERYONE ELSE SHE COULD PICK
rusty metal
OI
who you calling an old rusty grandma?
stairway
YOU
WHO ELSE
rusty metal
i'm very delighted that
she is your favourite y/n
she's mine too <33
earpsy
LMAO 💀
just so you know y/n
you've broken a lot of hearts today
the REAL karate kid
lemme just go and find the nearest cliff
and fling myself off of it
stairway
i'm joining you
willybum
count me in too
the imposter
IM SORRY 😭
ALL THE LIONESSES SEEM AMAZING OKAY
I JUST ONLY KNOW ABOUT HER YET
elton
nah
you've made your choice
the imposter
YOU GUYS
it's really not that big of a deal
you all are acting like i've
personally rejected you guys
lotte
this whole thing was so funny to read omg
meado
honestly
top tier entertainment
made my day
thank you y/n
the imposter
you're welcome ...?
part five here
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amongussexgif · 8 months
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Howdy folks. I’ve said I’d make a rant about this for a while. It’s time.
Let’s start with the basics. Mesopomatia is the earliest known human civilization. Humans existed before them, but this was the first “city”. They also made the first writing. This rant also kinda covers Sumerian tuff, because the two groups had a bit of a merging.
You know what transgenderism is. You’re on tumblr dot com. Chances are you are a transgenderist yourself
Transphobes often say that transgenderism is a “new concept” and that “nobody was trans 20 years ago”. For the record, you don’t have to go as far back as Mesopotamia. There’s Greece, Egypt, Hawaii, and tons of others I fail to remember. But yeah, we date back to The First City.
The First People believed in many gods, one of which you’ve likely heard of. Today’s subject: Inanna/Ishtar, The Queen of Heaven (I’ll be calling her Inanna, as it’s her original name). She was the goddess of Sex, War, and Justice. The most notable things she was believed to do were changing people’s genders and being an absolute queen. Like fr she slayed-
Anyways, the “transgender power” as I’m gonna call it because it's funny, is well documented in poetry fragments, with the direct quote “To turn a man into a woman and a woman into a man are yours, Inanna.” This was written by Enheduanna, Inanna’s High Priestess from Ur (Ur is a city).
Speaking of Inanna’s Priests and Priestesses, they were actually known for their androgyny. Poems and Dedications to Inanna often included them, with the direct depiction of the goddess transfer-ify-ing them. It’s unknown if these and the Gala are the same priests, so I’ll add a little space and talk about them for a bit.
The Gala were priestesses for Inanna created by the god Enki (who is really fuckign cool for non-trans reasons (might talk about him sometime)) to sing for her. Mourning Rites previously sung by women got taken over by the Gala, and as men joined, they adopted ALL societal roles and expectations of women, switching to female names and singing in the Sumerian eme-sal dialect, which was reserved for women trying to render the speech of female gods. The Gala looked after the sick and poor, and were highly respected by the rest of the Mesopotamian peoples.
Time to talk about the Pilipili! They were a group of cultic performers who worshiped Inanna, with the name coming from a person named Pilipili. They were raised as a woman (according to Mesopotamia’s gender roles), and were blessed by Inanna and given the name Pilipili. Inanna gave them a spear, an item associated very heavily with masculinity “as if she were a man” and they are only referred to as “The Transformed Pilipili” from that point on. “Spear'' is also thought to have phallic meaning here, which is even more directly saying that Inanna trans’ed Pilipili’s gender.
How about we move beyond the cult on Inanna now? A statue (or technically statuette but honestly whatever) found in the city of Mari depicts a singing woman. But wait! The name of the depicted person is “Ur-Nanshe”, a masculine name! This might mean nothing, but honestly, you’d assume transgenderism too if you met a woman named Steven. The statue has a soft face with traces of makeup, and it’s got tiddies!
A statue in the British museum (which for the record should not be in there. give it back) has a label translated as “Hermaphrodite of Inanna”. Hermaphrodite has a different meaning now, which a different translator, Cheryl Morgan, recognized, stating that “person-man-woman” would be more accurate. We don’t know specifics about their gender, but clearly this was a person outside of the gender binary who was not only significant enough to have a statue of them made, but also assumedly well-liked!
So, to summarize, Ancient Mesopotamia viewed genderqueer individuals as:
often blessed by the Queen of Heaven
transgender-ify-ed by said Queen of Heaven
well respected enough to be priests
said cult of trans priests was also said to be made by another god in devotion to Inanna
significant and well-liked enough to have statues of them
sounds like we should take some notes from our ancestors, huh?
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flowersadida · 3 months
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I know people have already talked about this topic, but I want to too.
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There are a lot of jokes on the Internet about how Katara constantly mentions her mother as if it were the most important event, but...
Isn't that so? I mean, in the life of a little eight-year-old girl, this is truly the most important event in her life and she wants to share it.
Katara took on the role of an adult too early, and she didn't have the opportunity to work through this problem with anyone, because she's already an adult => she cannot afford to rely on someone. But she needs it, and that's what traveling with Aang gives her: the opportunity to find children like her and share with them the burden that she has been carrying all this time. Note that Haru, Jet, and even Zuko are people who not only have experienced loss, but also have some kind of responsibility for others: for their family or even for a group of people. She doesn't tell adults about this because she isn't looking for care, she's looking for understanding of her feelings.
The problem is that it's not enough for her. Her sadness turns to rage because the further the story goes, the less satisfied Katara becomes.
The closer the heroes get to the end of the war, the more angry Katara gets: first at her father, then more specifically at Zuko. And, in the end, she finds the cause of this anger, as well as the opportunity to satisfy the thirst for understanding of her grief - the murderer of her mother. She needed revenge not just because it was fair, but because from the very beginning of the series, Katara was looking for an opportunity to calm those feelings that were rushing out. And her attempts to do this by expressing the problem were not enough. She needed more, and she got it by facing the biggest monster in her life.
In general, the “monster” metaphor obviously speaks not only about Yon Ra, but also about Katara herself. Or rather about her anger. Judge for yourself: she had to restrain a storm of emotions from the age of eight; she began to reveal her grief only in the first season, that is, at the age of 14. She ignored her pain, pushing it deep inside until it became a raging monster rushing out. And what Katara really needed was to face it. So when she flies to find Yon Ra, she also finally meets the version of herself that she has carefully ignored and hidden for the benefit of others.
It's funny that Zuko is the one who helps her. In general, it was his complete understanding of Katara in this matter that amazed me. He, like no one else, knows what it’s like to face your inner demons and knows how useful it is for knowing yourself. And how dangerous it is when you're alone in it. So he accompanies her to keep her safe. So that she has a person on her side who will be there, no matter what choice she makes. He will support anyone. (I'm crying because of how beautiful it is wasgffv💖)
(A small antikataang insert: this is the reason why their relationship doesn't work. Aang only supports the right decisions, even if they require Katara to sacrifice inner harmony, while Zuko will simply support her for whatever choice she makes. It's funny because Aang has to keep balance and as a monk he knows a lot about that. The show focuses heavily on the theme of yin and yang, that is, the balance of good and evil. In order to achieve internal balance, Katara needed to turn to internal evil, because she tilted this scale towards good. She was imbalanced to begin with, and instead of understanding this, Aang insisted on continuing the preponderance of good. It’s as if he doesn’t understand that the preponderance of good is as bad as the preponderance of evil, and this will only harm Katara. I hope my point is clear)
Finally, Katara finds inner peace when she faced everything that was raging inside her, when she did what she needed and poured out everything she ever wanted. Every word about her mother led us to this moment, as did Katara herself.
And do you know what the point is? Why am I telling all this? It's all a character arc that unfolds linearly over three seasons.
Now think back to the arc of Aang, the main character of the show, in relation to his family. Did he bring them up in seasons two and three in a way that was linear? I mean, the one who constantly grieves over his father's death should have been Aang, because he learned the pain of loss so recently, he didn't have a chance to get used to it. But even in the episode SR, Aang compares the loss of mother not to the loss of his mentor and father, but to the loss of Appa and his people. It’s as if he doesn’t care about the individual connection with Gyatso and it’s nominal.
Katara, on the other hand, has emotions that she smoothly carries throughout the show and resolves in it. She has a huge number of Chekhov's guns, which each fire at its own time. Her feelings about her mother, the development of these emotions and their resolution are the most beautiful thing about this show along with Zuko's arc (even though I have problems with him in book 3).
And making derogatory jokes about it like Katara is whining and annoying is blasphemy. After all, she's the only one of the Gaang who has a single development arc throughout all three seasons, this must be respected
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cinnbar-bun · 3 months
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Straw Hats- Reversed AU HCs
AU: In which YOU are the character of a very famous franchise, and they are regular people who are fans of your series.
Note: GN!Reader, crack, very unserious
Luffy
Thinks you’re neat! Super cool!
People think he doesn’t really “get” you and just likes you for your awesome powers and/or cool appearance, but he drops like an innocent yet profound tidbit about you that shows he really is thinking of you.
Honestly probably only has a bootleg figure of you courtesy of Ace. It’s goofy as hell but he adores it.
Maybe has one of those printed graphic tees.
Ace and Sabo joke about his love for you but then Luffy throws his slippers at them.
If he sees anything with you on it, he’s just gushing over it.
Loves finding funny comics with you online.
Zoro
Guy who likes you for your powers.
The same guy who is also a weeb in front of the mirror and tries to replicate your awesome moves.
Help his roommates caught him-
I think he’d get those compression shirts/shorts with you or a symbol of yours for when he works out.
Also the guy who’s working out to your voice like those ASMR videos so he can pretend you’re praising him and congratulating him.
Gets into fights with Sanji about who’s the bigger fan.
I don’t see Zoro as the type to “collect” things, but he’d probably have a keychain of you around his belt or something as a good luck charm.
Might even have an action and poseable figure of you like a Figma.
Nami
Likes you lots, but also recognizes your merch potential.
Works alongside Usopp to produce fan merch or zines for you to make money.
Has a unique piece of jewelry with your symbol/iconography to wear.
She’s not wearing “obvious” for merch, because she just isn’t about that.
Probably has a few very expensive figures of yours that are special edition or anniversary editions that she managed to get at a steep discount.
Reads a bit of fanfic but tends to mostly peruse fanart of you.
Tends to have multiple ships for you- she doesn’t really favor one over the other she just thinks they’re interesting.
Likes to do cosplays of your fits, though. She’s gotten very popular for her lovely cosplays. She tends to handmake most of her cosplays, but Usopp and Franky add to the amazing accessories.
Plays the gacha game for your series, and her amazing luck means she gets practically all your units easily.
Usopp
The artist of the group who has seen and had to do heinous things for a commission.
Unlike the others, he IS making a self insert and HE IS DOING ART AND COMICS WITH YOU AND HIM AS THE MAIN COUPLE!
Has made a name for himself of making doujins and art for you. His store has seen lots of purchases for his doujins.
Nami basically is his account manager and has made him raise commission prices many times in order to pay their rent and so he can realize how valued his work is.
He mostly just posts his work but does like answering questions from fans and posting about how awesome you looked in the new episode.
Always making art and stories from you.
Has done fanfiction for you but it’s mostly with his OC/SI and his artwork tends to be more well-known.
Always does special drawings for your birthday and various holidays.
Plays the gacha and has bad luck so he has to whale for your unit. He insists he prefers just regular console or PC gaming instead of gacha.
Sanji
Number one fan, he WILL get into arguments about you and inject you into everything.
All your figures, all your merch, all of it in one specific room dedicated to you. Sanji even has a lifesize figure of you in a cool/cute pose he religiously cleans (and prays to ngl) every day because AINT NO WAY HIS LOVE IS GOING TO GET A SPECK OF DUST ON THEM!!
His work as a chef makes him busy, but he likes to wear small things of you like a brooch or something on his uniform to cheer him up through the day.
Makes videos cooking things you cooked or dishes you liked within the series.
He sometimes shows off his collection and Zoro calls him a loser and they get into fights in the comments.
Commissions art of you (probably Usopp) to hang up in the (Y/n) room.
I feel like he would do a persona/self-insert but also I feel like he’d be like no!!!! I cannot sully my beloved like that!!! So he focuses on just you.
Blocks people who are fans of you and does not like shipping anyone with you, hell no his mellorine is HIS!!!
Has done fanfic, mostly self-insert, and that’s pretty much all he reads. No ships.
Robin
“Oh, (Y/n)? Yes, they are an interesting character. I like them.”
[1 Million word count fic series, tagged: slow burn, character exploration, heavy angst, found family, Book 4 of 7]
“I just think they’re neat.”
Probably the mother fic writer for you and/or one of your ships.
Doesn’t socialize much online, just tends to post and scroll through the fics for you and answers comments under her fic.
Likes to support her fellow creators so she does look into the art and projects other fans have made.
Does try to create her own aesthetics for her blog and fics, but sometimes she just commissions Usopp to make her things for her fics to fit her vision.
Is really into unique and often abstract or “dark” art of you.
Yes you’re her favorite character, yes she will still make you suffer in her fics and art for the ~development~.
It’s a running gag with her peers where they ask her how she will torture them next.
She finds the Nendoroids of you are quite cute, so she bought one to go on her desk.
Franky
Franky likes making garage set figures of you.
He’s also a bit of a dork, so he will often make you pose with a super sentai outfit or large gundam robots (since they’re also a part of his crafting hobby).
Makes videos showing off the new figures he made of you.
He loves you cuz you’re his hero, you just amaze him!
Printed a photo of the art your creator did where you guys were all dressed like super heroes or something- suuuuppper up his alley and he loved seeing it.
He likes collecting the manga/comics for your series and keeps them on his personal shelf.
Franky also helps Nami/others with specific cosplay accessories. Franky is known for his craftsmanship, so he’s made plenty of cosplay gear for others that are above and beyond.
Him and Usopp have collabed to create the original figures of you that Franky adores.
Does those videos where he takes cheaper/smaller figures of you and adds to the base and design to make it more “epic”.
What the hell is “fanfiction”?
Brook
Goes by the username “Soul King” and uploads his covers of your franchise’s music.
He really loves you though so he’s often rocking your shirts while he’s recording the music.
He does a lot of different genres for your theme covers- jazz, heavy metal, lofi, piano, music box- he’s done em all.
Whenever he’s not recording covers of his music and does streams, he very proudly shows his figure of you and a poster he has hanging up on his wall.
Also plays the gacha game, has pretty good luck but never with your units.
“Wow! 5 Sugo-rares! Who are they- GOD DAMN IT IT’S JUST THE OTHERS!!! RATE UP IS A LIE!!!”
Brook is a menace though and I’m gonna keep that under wraps for various reasons.
Maybe in the future I might explain further.
Jinbei
Jinbei is classy, unlike many of the others here (we will not name names).
He’s more likely to “make” his own merchandise for you.
Handmade doll with a lovingly sewn kimono, for example.
Fancy tea set that is painted with your symbols but it’s so subtle and chic that some of his viewers don’t even realize it’s from some random franchise he likes.
He prides himself on his traditional and handmade crafts and you’re just an avenue to experiment with them.
He likes to design the kimonos and outfits with you in mind and the season. He shows the process of creating it in these calm and quiet BTS videos.
Really they are beautiful and the amount of love and skillmanship put into the work he does is fantastic, it’s awe inspiring.
Does not know what a fanfic, a gacha, or what a “fan edit” is. He’s an old man he’s got things to do, man.
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