#tho i better not hype it up because i am pretty sure when i re-read it it's gonna be wayyyyyyy less hot

[fonulyn]

I need to scream about RE ID bc like. Did I enjoy it? Yeah, I did. Was it. Just wrapped up way too nicely and quickly? Also yeah. I was a little disappointed by it tho, like the length, and the flashback scenes weren't as clear as I think they should have been? Like I understood what was happening, but it took me a little too much brain power to like keep up with what was and wasn't a flashback lmao

Also I wanna say, I get wanting to keep Jun See alive but god, that did not look fun. Just let him die, dude, no one wants to live like that, smh.

Thank god they kept Leon's one liners tho, like thank you for that at least lol also Claire, my GIRL, I love her holy shit. Honestly she was amazing, like, just perfect. Not sure why she has a gun in the promotional poster, bc she just. Never has a gun throughout the entire show, I don't think? Also can we talk about how she took that guy down with that lamp, and then hopped on top of him just fucking ready to continue to beat the shit out of him? Chris would be so proud 🥲

Okay also, I saw what you said with that flirting scene, and I agree that it seemed like Leon was trying to lighten the mood, but it so didn't need to be put in there at all @ the writers. Like this show could have gotten away with no romance, or just that one moment near the end with Claire and Leon (which, I don't ship them much, and that moment at the v end where she was like "are you ever gonna stop treating me like a kid?" And he responded with "probably not" or whatever kind of ruined whatever was shown earlier? Like it feels like she's had that convo with Chris before too, so I'm like hm no don't imply romance and then imply that he treats her like a little kid every time they run into each other, now it's weird lol) and been fine. None of the story was contingent on any kind of romance between anyone.

Now with that said, can I just say Patrick absolutely wanted to suck Leon's dick? Like he was smitten, and I bet you they at least fuck after all this is said and done, if not date for a short period of time. I thought they were gonna kill Patrick off, I'm glad they didn't tho, he was v wholesome lol.

Also I wanna mention that every serious moment (save a small handful) I just. I couldn't take it seriously, it was too over the top. Acid? Really? That's the self destruct measure? Slowly rising acid? I dunno, that doesn't seem quite right to me, I don't think that's how it works lol

Honestly they should have just made this into a new movie, bc making it a series implies more to follow and in general a longer narrative, but these eps were barely 20 minutes each, so there's almost no point splitting it like that. Did I enjoy myself? Yeah, I always do when Leon is involved, but it could have been so much better.

Also the silly little shipper in me is kind of desperate for more interaction between Chris and Leon, bc as far as I'm aware it's just RE6, RE vendetta, and RE ID (and I think the person who told Chris to save Claire in either code x or Veronica was Leon? Not 100% about that tho lol) where they actually interact with each other, and considering that they're the two main characters of the franchise, they should probably meet up more? Idk, that's just my gay ass hoping for more Chreon content lmao but still.

ANYWAYS yeah, I would rate the show like a 7.5/10? It wasn't amazing but it wasn't garbage, either. Probably my least favorite of the four animated movies tbh, but I will take the Leon content, thank you Capcom. Also it was interesting to see Leon around the time following/around RE4 and RE degeneration, I thought, I dunno.

oh boy I agree 100% it was wrapped up way too quickly in the end. like killing Jason? by just dropping him in the acid? it was way too simple and easy if you ask me. and like, why didn't he yeet Leon into the acid when he had him by the throat? him not killing Leon makes zero sense to me??

asdfg yeah I get they weren't ready to let Jun See go, but I bet Jun See really would've preferred to go...

I am so happy that they kept the one liners!! Leon felt very, very in character which I loved so much. I was afraid they'd tone it down or make him super serious or so, and it was such a relief they didn't. he was so eager to help and so goddamn kind to everyone I don't know if my heart can even handle it ;;;;;

also Claire!! so badass!! I loved the part where she attacked the guy with the lamp (yes Chris would be super proud haha) and THE HEADBUTT seriously, one of the top highlights of the entire series :'D

(but honestly this is gonna get long i'mma gonna hit that read more here)

and the flirting scene, I do think they could've left it out entirely and it felt a little strong-armed in. but I'm trying to look at the silver lining? Leon was super goddamn adorable in it, like, so cute it hurts :'D and Shen May didn't seem bothered really, it was more this joking thing between them. so while yes, it was unnecessary, i'm focusing on the joking feel of it and choosing to interpret it as such :'D

also, can I just say, the "romantic moment" with Claire and Leon near the end didn't feel very romantic to me? I know it's a romcom cliché (or at least a fanfic cliché lmao) how they ended up in a pile after the rescue but ...it didn't scream romance to me? although I do kind of like the pairing! (not a top fave but a cute one)

and yes, the whole "when are you gonna stop treating me like a kid?" "probably never" felt SO much like a sibling moment!! such big brother energy from Leon, and I don't know, that made me super duper happy?? I want them to be friends. I neeeed them to be friends gdi. which is why I am unhappy with how mad Claire seemed to be at Leon in the end and how they left it off like they did. I am hoping that it sets things up for a second season? and they for whatever reason need them on kind of the opposing sides at first? because otherwise it makes no sense to me for her to be that disappointed in him. in Degeneration they already establish they work in different ways towards the same goal, and for that to do a 180 now feels... like a disservice to the characters? idk?

lmaooooo but yes Patrick 100% wanted to suck Leon's dick he didn't even try to be subtle about it :'D idk I would've wanted Patrick to have more depth and screentime too, i so wish they would've made it a longer series and given the characters more development. because I liked pretty much all of the new characters they introduced! but it feels none of them reached their actual potential!

then again that is kind of the whole deal with resident evil in general, they set up awesome characters and end up wasting them half of the time :'D guess i shouldn't be surprised.

THE SLOWLY RISING ACID PISSED ME OFF lmaooo c'mon!! it doesn't seem like a good self destruct measure. especially since ...you'd need different acid to dissolve organic matter and to dissolve inorganic matter if we're being nitpicky. and how would it be plausible for them to store enough of it safely to even do this?? they should've just detonated the whole place and blown it to smithereens or something, the acid was. stupid.

i agree, it feels like a movie. but I think @tirsynni is probably right when saying that it was sort of a test run to see if they should make more? which I am so hoping for. because even with the complaints I have of this, I DID enjoy it, a lot!! and I do want more! and maybe this time we get Claire and Leon actually working together for more than fifteen seconds! :'D

also I definitely would not say no to more Chris and Leon interactions. (yes it was Leon who told Chris to save Claire :) at least that) it... in general makes no sense to me how capcom seems to think friendships work? like how Sherry is all "Leon and Claire are my best friends" and then they imply they haven't met in years? if not more? idek it's. weird. it's like their characters go into storage containers in between their missions to be stored away so they can't even accidentally have personal lives or friendships or anything. weird.

(what I said about having amazing characters and ending up wasting their potential? yeah)

for me, personally, it's... well, my score for the show would depend on whether I just focus on the characterizations and what I liked, or if I try to actually take the plot and all into account too :'D but I did like this more than Degeneration! already the fact that Leon has actual facial expressions is enough to put it way above that one. (and for the record, I don't hate Degeneration either, I do like it, but... Leon is such a cardboard cutout with zero personality in it, it's super frustrating)

idk I think I need to still process this a bit to see how I will like it in the end :'D there are things i'm super hyped about in it, and things i'm disappointed in, let's see how they'll weigh in the overall experience eventually.

#idutr #replies #ask and i shall answer #re answers #infinite darkness spoilers #spoilers #infinite darkness

[chasmalvice]

Cyberpunk 2077 First Thoughts etc etc

yo- so lemme start off by sayin- half of this stuff is likely my own fault for not looking into it before actually buying it- but i’m gonna still gripe about it man. consider it a gentle critique, and a casual review. please read the review all the way through before commentin anythin. i’m used to expansive rpgs like the fallout franchise, or the elder scrolls, so perhaps i’m a bit spoiled- but i’d like to think i’m not the only one when i complain about this stuff. 1. dialogue and voice. i’m not sure whhhy- but i was expecting a better dialogue tree. it seems like you get such limited options- hardly a few things before the main prompt. not to mention v’s voice themselves. am i the only one that wishes for the rpgs of old where your character didn’t actually have a voice? now don’t get me wrong here- it’s not that i hate the voices they give you, it’s just that they’re not very- i unno flexible. when i make a character in an rpg i have a very specific voice in mind for them. like when reading a book you can hear how they sound in your head. i wanted to make a sweet baby cyber boi in cyberpunk- but it just doesn’t work with the ultimate chad voice i hear for male v. which brings me to another thing 8) 2.character customization. hmhmhm boi where do i begin with this. again, this is likely my fault, for not looking into the customization before getting the game- but it’s just so baD. i was hoping, prayinG that it would be better before launch. you can customize your nail color and lengTh. your gosh dang teeth color. your pP SIZE. bUT THERE ARE NO DIFFERENT BODY TYPES MAAAN. for one of my characters i wanted to make a thicc corpo rat. there are literally chubby npcs ingame. why can’t i make a chubby boy :,> a game that doesn’t have body types immediately loses a point for me. i love making multiple characters- and making them all look different and neat in their own way. i just think it's cool. sea of thieves has better customization than this game for cryin out loud smh and they don’T EVEN LET YOU CONTROL HOW TO MAKE IT. my only hope for this is that somewhere down the road- this game becomes nexus compatible and people throw up some amazing character maker mods. otherwise my game play is gonna be very depressing 8). not to mention the guuuys. ugh man. look i like scruffy bois- but what if i wanna make an immaculate e-boi. you’ve got a beard shadow present on the face all the time i can’T GET RID OF IT AaA. not to mention they look p old. mature bois are fine- but again if i’m trYING TO MAKE A SWEET BABY BOI IT DOESN’T QUITE WORK. please i pray to the nexus gods. heLP ME. 3. fan service. alrigHt. here’s where things get a lil touchy. i don’t quite know what to think of sexism- i personally don’t believe it exists in the majority of video games. however- like, i unno man. you ever notice how in video games the female characters always get these super sexy revealing stripper clothes. and the guys get this full plate armor. i’m talking about that. in cyberpunk the female characters just seem to have better models in general for the game. they look so much better. not to mention there’s so much female nudity. i’m a woman alright. i waNT TO SEE CUTE BOIS- WHERE ARE MY CUTE BOIS. i just feel like most games are tailored more towards guys. mmos- rpgs, the general. i feel like it’s mainly because most women aren’t actually into video games- so the corpo tailors it more towards guys, which makes sense ya know? i have no ill-will towards em it’s just frustrating :,>. please don’t come throwing hands at me saying you’re a gorl gamer and you’re upset by this. if you do you’re missin the whole point of this review. i’m just sayin- as a girl, i wanna see a buncha nice looking bois, not just a buncha nice looking gorls. where the hek is my fan service?? fallout 4 had real decent character customization- i unno why it’d be hard to do something like that. dragons dogma had god tier customization oh my gosh. i miss that :,> 4. notes general gripes gameplay etc etc the combat is p weak kek. it’s very generic, with nothing revolutionary. not to mention sidequests don’t actually change character development. also i find it suspicious the large amount of good reviews they got literally at the launch. don't get me wrong tho- it's got good replay promise! allowing for decent hours of content. but at the same time it feels a little barren? not to mention you need a pretty powerful pc- i am blessed enough to have one tho. my heart goes out to all you poor bois that tried to adjust the graphics and found out it did almost nothing. i'm- i unno i'm not sure what to rate the game. i guess if you want another neato rpg it's p fun- just don't get it for the character maker. if you don't care about that tho then go right ahead. i do however- believe that this game was incredibly over-hyped, and failed to deliver a large percentage of what it promised. something that really bugs me tho are the three backgrounds you get to pick. for some reason i expected them to have more of an impact and with different routes- since each one starts off from a different point and it even seems like you go through different events for some of em with different characters. but somehow- it still feels the same. like, i unno it’s a little hard to describe for me, like everything is re-skinned but the same content almost. kinda feels like the illusion of choice- but hey if you like it then good for you man. i feel like i’m gonna have to rate this a bad for now. just because it doesn’t feel like anything they promised- which was clever marketing on their part for sure. but it’s a little too late to return this game so imna get my money’s worth out of it you can believe that. who knows, maybe my opinion will change. i sure hope so :,>.

#cyberpunk 2077 #cyberpunk #cd projekt red #review #gaming #rant #angry #>:c #cute boys #wHERE ARE MY CUTE BOYS #thicc #chubby #wHERE ARE THEY #WHERE ARE MY BODYTYPEEEEEEEEES #game #Cyberpunk 2077 review #sexism?

[cruddyborderlandstheories]

“i had a dream about the Borderlands are Yours trailer last night for like the 7th time so i guess i ought to do the analysis before i have a breakdown”

find the trailer here

~discussion of the cloth map spoilers occurs in here, but nothing else. if you’re worried about those spoilers do not read~

non-spoiler tl;dr: we discuss why rhys’s head implant is yellow instead of blue in this one particular scene and also go thru a bunch of theories as to what tf is up with Zer0. and some other stuff about giant space lasers

so the intro is pretty much the same as the we are mayhem trailer so we’re gonna ignore that since we figured out where sanc-iii was

pretty sure this scene has been shown already too, in the official announce trailer, i remember taking note of the pink shots

another cov camp on pandora (see elpis in the back). ive said it before and ill say it again i adore amara’s as animations

seen this a bajillion times as well

from we are mayhem near the end. also im still lowkey convinced that robot directly to the right of moze is jakobs. i know i’m probably wrong but... i want to believe. it reminds me of a cowboy

The Are. this is directly below Sanc-III (u can see the wall in the background)

eden-6!!! im interested in the signs in the back there

Prison, Reliance, Jakobs Estate, and... amoe kyuri??? wtf does this say?? idek.

This A Way (glad to know Claptrap will haunt us from beyond Sanc-III)

im interested in the Prison. i wonder if that’s any of those concrete structures/buildings we’ve been seeing across eden-6. i was under the assumption those were like testing facilities, but a prison would also make a whole hell of a lot of sense.

actually

given this sign here over the bridge to the left of the above shot

and the fact we see this concrete structure on the far left in this coming shot

that might actually make some lick of sense...

also can i just say i love the aesthetic of this supply line

so there’s a lot of shots here we’ve already seen and gone over multiple times, im not going to do that again. sorry but... eh.

maliwan = cultists confirmed

i mean if the cult-themed t-shirts being maliwan colored didn’t already cue us in on that, this definitely should lol

and speaking of this shot, i wonder if this has anything to do with Rhys’s building? the one his office would be in. it looks like there are multiple levels to the right of this robo

ah maliwan working with the cult why am i not surprised

rhys gets fucking annihilated (TM)

in all honesty... given this quest name

“Space-Laser Tag” and the subsequent quest “Atlas, At Last” makes me honestly think rhys is about to seriously get fucked up

which sucks. i like rhys. we’ll talk more about this in a second, but i don’t think its coincidence the VHs have come up to the asteroid belt to stop the giant space laser and thus are not on Promethea where the laser is going to hit

better look at this shot, that definitely looks like a rampager to me. i get it, i think. gearbox is hyping up this rampager fight to be super awesome, show it in all the promotional material, have a kickass fight with it, then the twins come in and steal the kill from you. they steal the satisfaction from getting to kill this super hyped-up vault monster.

im picking up what you’re putting down, GB. 

did not realize fl4k actually snaps. how the heck do they do that?? gotta be hard with metal caps as their fingers tbh

404 space station not found

we’re back on the asteroid

... why this gun shoot tentacles :|

this is art

wheres his head going

i was so distracted by the razor blade status effect (??? zeroes??) i didn’t notice the giant-ass A on this banner

OwO what’s this for

~A~

also this which... looks like it could be an amara skill. maybe the one that releases elemental projectiles after an enemy is damaged? feel like we would’ve seen that one already tho.

thinking of this one, im pretty sure we should’ve seen this in one of the many, many gameplay videos (im so jealous) already available.

so if it is, baller, if it’s not, im not too surprised.

it does also seem to be targeting the double cause its shield becomes visible after being hit

i thiiink this is eden-6? in which case it may be that facility tina, brick, and mordy are in (the windows). which may, in retrospect, be that prison we’ve been hearing about

cool angle of the HBC. im pretty sure we’ve seen this shot before, too.

before we get to the actual best part of this scene

this looks very Athenas-like. possibly eridian? although the lights are throwing me off. i suppose the order or someone from the order could’ve built these structures... but what for??

heheheh

also this fucker has those rocks growing out of his head, too

the ones from the alien guns

somewhere outside the RC

back at it again in the space station

also this maliwan thing looks so fucking cool

duuuude looks like the cult got their hands on more than just maliwan hoverwheels, check out that dropship on the left!!! looking cool asf

the cars are STUNNING

holy shit this skin is amazing

very siren-esque

we’ve gone over this clip already but given now that we know the maliwan base thing is on the asteroid, it’s fitting to re-address it i think

a look at one of the metal bois (that im still convinced are jakobs lol)

i love the way this thing looks

the portal seems to be giving off the same blue sparkles we’ve seen on pandora

these

[edit] we also see them in the newest new trailer as Sanc-III zooms off into space. which is interesting.

dunno wtf that means, but yeah. they exist

probably some weird eridian/other dimension shit.

more eden-6

goliath looking amazing. not red and is wearing a helmet, so that’s interesting

looks like a part of the space station

biggggg hallway. im honestly loving how huge these maps seem to be

geniviv! i love her boss fight sooo fucking much.

honestly looks like so much fun

more c a r s

this fucker

probably eridian

i mean it seems to be absorbing the pink-ish energy from the moving stones so i assume its got some sort of link going on

also comparing the mask and arm bit to what we’ve seen rhys hand us on promethea

this thing???

but yellow instead of pink

u kno all this

ye

then again it does sorta ruin the eridian tech so maybe... it’s not lol

honestly my other guess is this is part of that ‘experimental forest’ we’ve seen signs for during the eden-6 demo. dunno why it’s destroying the eridian ruins tho. maybe those pink b e a m s are hurting it? entirely possible. some sorta... life succ ability like Tyreen.

but i don’t think it’s coincidence this thing has shown up right on top of some Eridian ruins/buildings/whatever. the leftmost part though looks like it could be human technology, which is weird. maybe some weird sort of mish mash. human tech that trees/plants grew onto and eridian ruins accidentally powered up. iunno man. im tiored.

rhys’s implant is glowing orange/yellow-ish which is very new

this is from the dev trailer (not glowing at all in the darkness)

from the promethea twitter trailer

and honestly that’s pretty wild to me because in tftbl rhys’s implant glows blue 

shown when he’s in the vault next to fiona

in bl3 during the We Are Mayhem trailer while using his ECHO eye

oh also since i just noticed

from the promethea demo

this scene

also from the promethea demo

they’re missing their monomolecular edge!

we’ll get back to zer0 in a secco

anyway you know who else’s head implant glows?

im not saying katagawa is replacing rhys because their implants are on opposite sides of their heads, but i am saying Katagawa WANTS Rhys in Maliwan and... well, Rhys’s forehead implant isn’t glowing yellow in any other shot we see of him

idk gamers i just think its sus

also rhys is holding onto that thing we see him handing to us in the Promethea trailer

this thing?? you know?

the eridian thingie majig

tho these look like two different areas... unless there’s like a very drastic wall change between angles (which there may be- these fans look identical)

which makes sense that Maliwan would want it (for the big laser thing maybe?? since we know they’re going for activating said laser)

... but honestly i get the feeling this is in some way related to... after the laser. especially since we know that that eridian thingie matches up with this one on pandora

in which case... wtf is the laser for? it definitely looks like its destroying stuff on the surface...

rhys also seems to have knowledge about the eden-6 vault key since he projects it during the dev trailer

me thinks someone got h a c k e r o n i e d

alright galaxy brain theory time:

rhys gets hacked by maliwan not only bc they want a merger, but also because he has info on the vaults/giant space laser, forces zer0 to be maliwan branded now since atlas is joining maliwan, zer0 finds out rhys is not willingly joining maliwan and is instead under maliwan control and tries to forcibly take the key away from him, we stop zer0 and save rhys from both the assassin and maliwan control

🤷‍♂️

Alright but in all seriousness there’s only 2 ways this can go

1. that’s actually our zer0

2. that’s actually not our zer0

and there’s a lot of theories running around about that and i guess we ought to address them

so for 1 there’s a few possibilities:

1. zer0 is a robo/cyborg and got hacked by maliwan (i personally don’t like this one bc i don’t want to know what zer0 actually is. it is a ~m y s t e r y~)

2. zer0 got paid more money to eliminate rhys and is doing so

3. zer0 decided killing their boss would be the ultimate challenge and thus decided to try it out... by joining maliwan

4. they’re faking rhys’s death and/or zer0 is infiltrating maliwan

5. zer0 got the brainwashed/their bodysuit got hacked (i would be interested to see if the monomolecular edge tech caused them to get captured or smth. i mean if there’s a tracker on it, then zer0′s decepti0n wouldn’t exactly work cuz they turn invisible... but they’d still be seen)

6. rhys got the brainwashed/hacked and zer0 is attacking him to get the eridian thingie/key/relic/whatever back

personally i’m curious how they’d play off 1-3 given Zer0 and Rhys are both shown on sanc-iii and zer0 even has crew challenges

im saying idk if the crimson raiders would appreciate zer0 attacking/trying to kill an ally without very good reason.

which is why i’d imagine 4-6 are the more reasonable answers?

also given the explosion of Promethea (what we’re assuming is Promethea) is green and also the laser we see maliwan controlling is purple, i wonder if that’s some brainwashing juice instead of... other stuff. cuz like.

this is elpis’s giant space laser. very radiant and like... ribbon-y? and has all that blue stuff and orbs and mm.

THIS is Promethea’s very solid and has circles and just. looks straight up like a death laser.

and yeah again it could be modified by that human-looking (?) tech around it to be like a brainwashing b e a m or something

or just more precise. that too.

and honestly idk if this could destroy a planet like how we see the planet (that we are assuming is promethea bc of the asteroid belt) in the sanc-iii article

it’s a solid ‘yeah that’s more likely than my theory’. might take a lot of time tho. or maybe those energy rings power it up or deal more damage when they hit the planet...

oh also given Tina literally says “WE blowing up this whole mother humpa”

and the reason im questioning the human-looking tech around it is because

typhon and leda 100% noticed something here. i guess if it was altered by humans after typhon and leda found it then that would make sense?

we’ve also got this from the tree guy, so i don’t know for certain.

anyway number 2

(2. that’s actually not our zer0)

i love these ones

1. that’s 0ne (zer0′s assassin’s assassin from the son of crawmerax dlc)

2. maliwan made a/hired a copy of zer0 and it’s easy to copy their voice/way of speech bc of the modulator (that’s just a fake implanted into atlas to steal all their secrets)

and all of these have the idea that the real zer0 shows up to save rhys at the end of this scene (explaining the blue light)

this

i personally disagree on that being zer0′s sword. tbh it looks more like a maliwan weapon or a laser or smth to me. that said it could be a weird effect because they’re in decepti0n or smth.

most of these theories have the idea that the real zer0 is either off with Fiona or Lorelei or just off on their own and only show up later. i wouldn’t even be surprised, given their line at the end of Tales. you know the one where they diss rhys like “i was talking to her” lol

so i don’t really have much to add to these. personally i believe that’s our zer0 up there, but i wouldn’t be shocked if something happened with the monomolecular edge that allowed maliwan to create a copy of zer0. or brainwash/control them. whichever. 

i do like the reintegration of 0ne into the story, that’d be a hilarious call-back, but i worry it’d be too obscure (a side quest in a headhunter dlc) for the majority of players. we’ll see

it’s weird if brainwashing or mind controlling thru the maliwan tech is the case bc the monomolecular edge isn’t present on their maliwan sword. or their future sanc-iii sword (but that part DOES make sense bc why would they keep that).

(alright also so i just took a bunch of nyquil cuz im sick as a dog so if this devolves into incoherent rambling im so sorry)

ah aurelia

i love her to bits but i don’t trust her because i mean... she worked alongside Nisha and Wilhelm and Alistair dislikes her. there’s like a 50-50 shot she’ll become evil

i would not be surprised if this is a boss fight (door looks frozen over on the left there) but also i would not be surprised if she’s helping us fight off waves of enemies given it looks like we’re in the jakobs manor

like i said 50-50

her attack does make the camera wiggle a bit, usually that happens if the attack injures the player viewing it (with the hud off) cuz it will give a stagger effect

so take that with a grain of salt. also we don’t see aurelia on sanc-iii when hammerlock and wainwright are both there in the group shot in the launch trailer

this fucker i already talked about a bunch in my reddit post on the eridium subject so im going to link that here. i might have already spoken about it on here tbh... i can’t remember lol

anyway here’s the copy and paste from there to here

you can see a huge Tink with Eridium growing out of his head and what look to be Eridium horns. And he's being elementally charged from an Eridian floor tile (in one of those temples, probably the Pandoran one but it could be Athenas, I guess). Kind of like how Bloodwing (also bigger) becomes elementally charged by Jack using element-throwers to change her element. i know it's a cultist tink because on his right shoulder (our left) he has those glow-y pink/purple tubes that are on the CoV guns and other cultists (like goliaths). and while i'm not sure if this is solely Eridian stuff (since they're in a temple) or because of the twins, it's definitely something that should be talked about. 

wait no yeah i did talk about this because of the athenas post. i just remembered lol

uhhh whoops. double dipping i guess lol sorry

still not sure if this is Pandora or Athenas. kind leaning towards Pandora atm

i like how this guy is able to make a cryo wall thing

he goes to smash it but we don’t get to see what happens cuz it cuts to another rampager

dishing out corrosive/radiation (??) attacks while someone shoots it with a fire weapon

this bamf which i KNOW i discussed in that athenas post

also something i haven’t noted is that his roar seems to be activating something here, like a spiral light of dooooom. also more blue sparkles. maybe summoning an assist? or a debuff/attack aoe. 

there is also this weird light near its legs that moves with the camera and sorta reminds me of the weird real-life face talky siren thing. you know the one

very curious as to what this is cause i haven’t seen it in any other scene with a rampager in it. maybe some sort of connection to the spiral/whirlwind thing it’s making?

oh wow im tired now lol

well bl3 is fully downloaded on my computer gamers, so we can officially say it’s happening!!!

#borderlands spoilers #spoilers #borderlands #bl3 #borderlands 3

[kokoronopikuseru]

Review: Pixelogue

A little late to post this, but I intend to share details and reflect on the editing of Pixelogue, in hope that it will help editors and organizers who need advice. (If you’re not interested in editing info, just skip to the last section)

Details are in Chronological Order -

# Software:

I designed everything from scratch in AE, with all the stock plugins. I had to relearn everything I used to know about AE; I last used it extensively in Pixelophobia years ago and furthermore, I wasn’t really used to the new CC interface. I had to seek tutorials for every simple effect I wanted to execute. It sure was difficult for me. For english speaking editors, this is probably your main tool if you intend to do simple video animations and graphics.

# Planning: Song Choice

I had intended to use a Korean Indie Track as stated in the collab details page. Sadly, the music really didn’t fit the music. I spent about 3 days rearranging the clips in every permutation I knew. I didn't really manage to find an arrangement that suited the clips. The unfortunate reality for editors is that we are usually at the mercy of the submission clips. I finally chose something Tigres’ described as “Shawn Wasabi-like”. It was a major challenge for my editing since I wasn’t exactly used to creating work that is colourful or cheerful rhythm-wise. I had to have major re-planning if I wanted it to work out.

# Editing: Draft

My process for editing clips always starts from arranging the combos. I used Vegas for this since, well, it IS a video editor, and it is pretty fast in processing clips. For learning purposes, here is the link of my very first draft (https://youtu.be/kRDwXTnxXGw). I think it’s necessary to spend a longer time at this stage, so as to visualize how its gonna turn out. And of course, to ensure that this is the flow of the CV you really wanted. By this stage, you should also have planned out the fillers (as denoted by the empty instances in the draft) and roughly how long your intro and outro will be. 

# Editing: Intro

I didn’t really want to make something too kawaii. But yet, I can’t really escape the colourful imagery I imagined the intro to be. I compromised and made something that alternates between some modern TV visuals and old school TV visuals. 

Modern TV; I was greatly inspired by those colour wipes that vloggers used for their youtube channels. It was one of those common and simple transitions that AE users exploit regularly. I found ways to incorporate it in a radial and a rotating wipe. The font animations were all plugins in AE that I found. I wasn’t gonna edit every alphabet like the previous CVs I made.

Old School TV; I took most of my inspiration from the adjustment knobs on analog TV. I found that it goes well with the subtle static noise in the music track. Hence I employed selection circles, and drew an actual knob (not sure if you guys realised that was what it was supposed to be). I also warp bulge the static background as well as the words, to emulate the concave glass distortion present in analog TVs. 

And in the final burst of images, I made the clips alternate between 16:9 and 4:3, just to show the juxtaposition between modern and old school.

I really hope people notice all these small details. I didn't feel it was impactful enough, but I guess these are probably cool facts for those who are interested.

# Editing: Combos

I always render my CV in a 16:9 resolution, simply because it IS more pleasing to the eye now that computer monitors are no longer square. My preferences have yet to change. However, with regards to the clips, I have read enough indirect feedback that the cropping wasn’t something that most people liked. I took this criticism pretty seriously, and thought it was time for me to hop on the bandwagon, to try the new-age style of CV editing.

I had to put in much more effort to retain a 4:3 combo in a 16:9 visual space, with an additional need to create a secondary background layer. But because of this decision, it gives me more freedom to explore options of panning and perspective movements.

I create a blurred and expanded duplicate of every combo as a background. I thought it was great that I could retain the original colours and give the clips a “floaty field”. No one has done something like this before, so it was instantly cool and hip. It also gives more room and potential to play around with the transitions too. Eg, fading the background before the clip (transition from Tigres to popte). Interestingly, all the backgrounds all have different properties, namely position, scale and degree of gaussian blur. The reason was really because some clips were seizure inducing due to their extensive movements. I thought it would be nice to vary all of them, which adds a unique aesthetic touch to all the combos.

I am pretty new to editing in a 3Dimensional Space and camera tracking. I was intending to do something as simple and fluid like Talentica Neue. Well, I learnt it wasn’t as simple as I thought. I had about 5-6 Parameters of camera movements, and frankly till now, don’t really know what each one does. I highly suggest for editors who wanna try 3Dimensional camera tracking, watch more tutorials and try simple practice projects. Learning how to utilize it properly will extensively improve your editing game.

Oh yeah, remember to use the graph editor for EVERYTHING. Acceleration and Decelerations have too much aesthetic value to miss out on.

# Editing: Outro

Because I have spent so much time on all other parts of the CV, it’s only responsible for me to put in some effort on an outro which I am usually way too lazy to make. Yeah guys, it’s important to make outros too guys. I used the same warping and television static effect from the intro to retain a sense of continuity. It's simple and nice, I liked it.

# Combos; (Warning: Difficult to Stomach) 

I’m gonna be a little too frank about this- the quality of combos I received were lower than what I usually work with (I love my UPSB submissions tho). I guess this is the huge downside of organizing sign-up CVs to an international community that is slowly dying and regressing. It was even harder when most didn’t submit on time. I had only 7 clips by the deadline. I wanna admit that I had moments regretting that I was organizing Pixelogue as a majority-signup CV. Some of the filtered combos either didn’t fit the style of CV (really sorry padrace) or was just bad due to the lack of effort. Mostly bad.

But here’s the heart of the matter, this might really reflect the standard of the international community. 

I’m not sure if I am the only one who feels this way, but I feel that most of the current international CVs can be separated into two groups, the JEB invites, and the rest of us. Don’t get me wrong, I do acknowledge the high standards JEB spinners deliver. But I’m not comfortable with the fact that they don’t submit better materials since their combos are guaranteed to be featured, and mainly because the quality of an international CV is often a 50/50 hit or miss (could be lower). Who can blame them really. Even so, their names are usually enough to make the lineup look great. 

> Pixelation was an all JEB sign up CVs. Pixelarium, Pixelophobia, Pixelography, Pixeholic were invites-only CVs, a mix of international and JEB guys. <

Most of my CVs have a JEB last spinner or a JEB dominant lineup towards the end. (coffeelucky 6th is also guilty of this). Clearly, you can see how much we use japanese invites as a way to boost the “quality” and hype of our projects. Yeah, sucks to admit it, but I am sure these are common sentiments shared with many of us international CV editors for a pretty long time.

Well, its not something I’m really contented with. In fact, I don’t like the way this becomes the norm. 

More recently, around the time I released “Express 12.1.18”, I really wanted to believe in us - the international community veterans, the borderline pen spinning retirees, that we can perform. I didn’t wanna believe that the international community was any inferior. I finally felt ready to edit something solely from our pool of people. I can accept that I don’t have to rely on japanese invitations to superficially enhance the CV. We have enough to make something great ourselves. 

I fondly assert that the international community does NEED this kind of confidence. Otherwise, we will always be second rated. Seen as the lesser beings. Y’all JapEn tiering meme-lords know what I’m talking about. I personally  needed this to prove to myself that it will work out for us even when the scene looks pretty shitty now. And yes, I did feel better after this.

# Conclusion

It didn’t really garner much attention especially when there was a flood of CVs being released around the time it was released. But I do love it a lot. It’s made up of familiar spinners that I cherish, good combos that I’m thankful for, and finally, an editing that drained my whole summer holiday away. Yeah, I do love it a lot. Definitely one of my proudest work.

[hazyheel]

WWE Monday Night Raw 5/27/19 Review

We started with a touching tribute to soldiers on Memorial Day, and the first arena shot had a “We remember the fallen” sign, and a huge USA chant from the crowd. Really touching.

Kofi Kingston was out first, and they recapped his attack from Ziggler last week. He cut a promo about how Kevin Owens re injured Big E (he was never healed really), and then Ziggler attacked him. Kingston wasn’t finished, but he was here for Lesnar. He wanted to fight Lesnar, and asked him to cash in tonight, but was met with Seth Rollins. He said the same thing, and asked Brock to announce who he would cash in on. Brock actually came out, with a boombox? Idk, his briefcase had speakers. That might be cool if it was Kofi, but Lesnar should be intimidating. They played both of the champions music as Lesnar kinda looked at them. Seth actually walked out during that part. Heyman said that Rollins walked out on the Brock Party, which was funny. He then said that they wouldn’t announce who they would cash in on. As Lesnar left, Ziggler ran out and attacked once again. 

Grade: D+. I don’t care about this, I really don’t. Brock looked kinda dumb, and I am bummed out that they wasted the Money in the Bank briefcase as a boombox gimmick on Brock. That is clever. I don’t want him to say who he will cash in on, that ruins the fun of it. I just don’t care.

Ziggler hit a zig zag on the steel, and was gonna beat him with a chair, but Xavier Woods ran out for the save. Refs were escorting Kingston away, and Ziggler attacked Woods and they brawled on the ramp. The fought around the fans, even hitting a camera guy with a garbage can on accident. Ziggler beat Woods with a chair for quite a while, and was gonna injured the neck with a chair, but Kingston ran back out, so Ziggler retreated, and then cut a promo. He just told Kingston to celebrate for the next 11 days, because he has been a great champion, and Ziggler will take it from him, because it always should have been his. He said that he knew how good Kingston was, but it doesn’t matter, because it will finally be his time at Super Showdown. He sounded crazy, it was awesome. 

Grade: B. This was a much better opening segment. It didn’t feel filler (although that brawl was long for a reason), it didn’t feel like a normal Raw opening by being a 20 minute promo to set up a match, it was just a crazy brawl. They hyped up the WWE Championship match for Super Showdown, and the promo was really good. I like this Ziggler, and I don’t know what they will do with him after the show next Friday, but i hope he is still used. 

Backstage, The Usos were having a Memorial Day cookout. They wished Nattie a happy birthday. They said that the Revival was the only team not invited. Then they yelled a bit and continued. I wasn’t sure why they did this until I noticed that Drake Maverick had some R-Truth wanted posters. I think I see where this is headed. 

Backstage, Charly interviewed Shane McMahon about a match that he had later tonight. He didn’t really say anything about it, and walked to the ring with McIntyre, who deserves more than Shane’s heavy. 

Shane then went out, cut a promo about respect, and how Roman Reigns didn’t understand it. Cuz he beat up Vince. They did the whole “attacking the father” thing, which is so on the nose. He said that Reigns was disrespecting the Samoan wrestling family, the Anoa’i’s. I think I spelled that right. Shane said that he’d fight one of the members of that family. I guess it was Lance Anoa’i, who I’d never heard of, so I don’t know if he is really a wrestler, or related to Roman. McIntyre beat the crap out of him, and he could sell. Shane then told them to ring the bell. There was a shocking amount of back and forth in this match, but Shane won mercifully with a triangle. After the bell, they lazily continued to beat him up while Shane ran his mouth. Reigns then ran out, took McIntyre down with one superman punch, and almost had a spear for Shane, but McIntyre pulled him away, and they ran backstage.

Grade: F. Yeah, the best part of this match was a kick that Lance threw, so that should explain how bad this was. The whole “embarassing his family” thing is a clever angle, but Shane really wouldn’t shut up this entire time, and it really ruined it. This may have been more entertaining if there was more energy, and Shane just stopped cutting a promo as he beat Lance up. This was very poor execution to a mediocre idea. Good stuff to Lance though, he held his own and managed to be a likable face in an awful position. 

Brock Lesnar and Paul Heyman came out again. Heyman said that Lesnar was gonna cash in right now, so Rollins came out. Rollins screamed at Lesnar for not caring about the championship and said that he was a joke. Lesnar shut up after that. Rollins tore him to the ground and called him a coward. Rollins told him to cash it in. Heyman then read the contract aloud, but Lesnar stopped him dead in his tracks when he said that Lesnar had a year to cash in. I guess lesnar didn’t know that. Lesnar told Rollins to screw himself, and left. Ugh

Grade: D-. Okay, so slightly better than the segment before, because Rollins actually had a good promo. But this makes Lesnar look stupid, and is a stupid segment. I’m glad that they didn’t announce anything, but why did Lesnar not know the stipulations of the briefcase? Rollins cashed in on him in 2015, you’d think that he may have cared a bit when he was the champion. Lesnar should definitely know. And this was the second time in one episode that they, for lack of a better term, cucked us for a cash in, and not in the fun way that it usually happens. I hate Lesnar. But again, Rollins was good. It would probably rank quite a bit higher if I didn’t hate this so much.

As this was all ending, R-Truth and Carmella came bolting through with the 24/7 championship, with like 7 guys coming at him. Cedric Alexander missed a splash and took out Eric Young and someone else. Truth also dodged a charging Karl Anderson, and he just nailed the barricade. I like this, it is just fun to have little stupid bits like this to break stuff up. 

Backstage, Charly talked to AJ Styles about why he wouldn’t be in a #1 contenders fatal 4-way elimination match for the Universal Championship. Styles said that he hurt himself at Money in the Bank. He was talking, and Baron Corbin attacked him. So this is where things were going last week.

Then we had a match between Becky Lynch and Nikki Cross against The IIconics. Cross was attacked by the heels for most of the match. At one point, Graves said that Lynch was busy, and Young asked how Graves knew her schedule, and he just said that he also worked there. Becky got the hot tag and beat everyone up. Becky had Royce locked in Disarmer while Cross attacked Cay on the outside, but Royce rolled her up for two. Lynch then hit the MANhandle slam, which was just an STO for the win. Lacey Evans then came out, and did nothing, just like the old days. But Cross had to hold Lynch back.

Grade: D+. I feel like I’m being pretty harsh now, but I don’t think this deserves more than this. The work was far below average, I have no clue why the IIconics lost, because Evans coming out at the end would have made much more sense as a distraction for Lynch, so that the IIconcis could beat up Cross. I don’t think the IIconics have won a match since the Raw after Mania. And now this random tag team has claim to a title shot, and I really think that they should win, because I have grown to hate the IIconics. Unless they are on commentary, that is fun.

Back at the barbecue, Tamina and Naomi were about to fight but then hugged. Weird face turn for Tamina. The Revival then showed up too, and they were being assholes. I guess Naomi invited them, because they need to settle their differences. What better place to do it than at the block party, she asked. In the ring, in a real feud, I thought. They acted like they would have fun, but they clearly wouldn’t, cuz of a very manly handshake that was dumb. 

Next up was Ricochet vs. Cesaro in a rematch from last week. Ricochet immediately had the advantage with a spike rana, and then a flip off Cesaro’s chest into an ensiguri (Ospreay style) and a suicide dive. Cesaro stretched out Ricochet’s back, and worked it over with throws and suplexes. Ricochet was able to fight him off, nearly hitting the 630, but Cesaro dodged and hit a huge European uppercut. At one point, Cesaro went for a powerbomb and Ricochet countered into a sunset flip. In the finish, Ricochet fell out of the ring, but was safe on his feet. Cesaro had his back to him, against the ropes, so Ricochet did a handstand on the apron and grabbed Cesaro’s head with his feet and pulled himself up for a spike Rana and the win.

Grade: B+. Finally, something good. I bumped the score up a grade because of the cool spot in the finish, but it was still a really fun match. These guys make magic together, and I hope they are given more time at some point to put on a really great match, because this is not even the best they can do. I like this mini feud. Match of the night.

The announcers said that next week, Rey Mysterio will have to relinquish his US Championship due to injury. That sucks. As they talked about it, Samoa Joe came out and cut a promo. He said that he will be waiting to take back his title.

At the block party, the announcers desperately tried to make a game of cornhole between The Usos and Revival seem intense. Maybe I had played cornhole too recently, but it is not an intense game. No one would crowd around a game of cornhole. That being said, it was funny to see everyone overacting. 

Members of the fatal 4-way elimination match said why they would win the match. Strowman’s was weird tho, cuz his music hit in the middle of his little promo, and he also threatened Bobby Lashley, then congratulated Miz on having another baby girl, and then threatened Baron Corbin, all in the same tone of voice. The heels immediately teamed up on Strowman, taking him out and then beating down the Miz. At one point, the heels double suplexed Strowman onto the stage. Lashley hit Miz with the delayed vertical suplex, but Miz kicked out. I guess that isn’t his finisher anymore. When Miz was attacking Lashley in the corner, he used running knees rather than dropkicks, which makes sense. At one point, Lashley avoided a shoulder tackle from Strowman, countering with a flying lariat. Strowman and Lashley brawled into the crowd, so Miz and Corbin brawled a bit. They beat each other up a bit, before Corbin hit the end of Days and eliminated the Miz. Now, here is the stupid part: that was the end of the match. If you are confused because there wasn’t any mention of other eliminations, thats becasue this was the first, and it ended the match. I guess Strowman and Lashley just left? What the hell?!? Why not just say that it is a normal match? Why is this so hard?

Grade: C-. There were some fun spots, but the booking was atrocious. Why were Strowman and Lashley in this match if they were already announced for Super Showdown? Couldn’t they have waited to book that match until this one was over with? Why was Miz in this match? He is a Smackdown guy, and he lost at Money in the Bank. Corbin was the only person who was even qualified to win, so he kinda had to go over here. This is just so dumb. Why does this company not care about their own product enough to look at their own rules?

More yelling about cornhole. Then R-Truth showed up, and the party devolved into lots of throwing food and rollups. No table spot, which I thought was a given in this kind of environment. Truth was able to get away. 

Grade for 24/7 stuff: C+. They almost had it right this week, with the wild stuff for the first 24/7 segment. But the block party thing didn’t have the fun little hardcore spots that I expected. Plus, all that is happening is rollups. Lets see some weapons and finishers in weird places. Someone should get hit by a car. Come ooooooooon.

And finally, the Firefly funhouse. One of the only things I look forward to about Raw. Bray said that the mask was called the fiend, and when he embraces that side of him, he can be anything he wants to be. That was in a sinister tone. Abbey the witch said that he was a psycho, and he did some wacky stuff to prove that he isn’t, and then she said “why won’t you let me rest,” which was super creepy and awesome. He said that he wouldn’t, and she said that she didn’t want to be stuck in limbo. So Wyatt did the limbo. 

Grade: B+. Creepy and awesome. I don’t think there is anything more to say.

Then we had a segment called electric chair, where Graves interviewed Sami Zayn, no holds barred style. The questions are apparently from the WWE Universe, and nothing is off limits, which is super untrue, in just about every way. Someone asked about his retirement date, so Zayn said that his parents must be brother and sister, cuz they are in Kansas. Someone else asked if he missed Becky Lynch from the Mixed Match challenge, and he just said she had a stupid question, and that her parents are bad. Someone asked how it felt when Strowman destroyed him, so he said that he wanted to kick the guys ass. The only reason that he wouldn’t beat him up, was because he would be tied up in legal troubles. He also said that that guy should be grateful for that not happening, because healthcare in america sucks. Another guy asked why he hasn’t won the Universal Championship, and he said that he could win it whenever he wanted. He insulted everyone for not asking good questions, like stuff about AEW, and the crowd popped. So thats why they did this segment, to pretend like they don’t give a damn about AEW. Of course they do, thats why they brought it up. Graves then tried to speak about the Universal Championship, but the crowd were still freaking out about AEW. Rollins came out to fight with him, and Zayn backed off. 

Grade: B-. Yeah, so the mention of AEW shows why they did this segment. But it was actually funny. Zayn is good at being an asshole to fans who can’t cut a promo like he can. It was clear that the last guy wanted to ask something better than he asked, because he cracked up and stopped. But it was during this segment that I found out why they changed the lighting during the third hour. It’s supposed to be a grittier part of the show. I guess that’s why there was a no DQ match last week, but saying AEW and having new lighting doesn’t make the show better. 

Then we had Rollins vs. Zayn. Zayn ran away for a bit, then they locked up. Rollins was in a pissy mood, and he attacked Zayn viciously. At one point, Rollins hurt his knee on a suicide dive, and that stopped him from delivering a buckle bomb to Zayn. Zayn hit a vicious DDT for a near fall. Zayn then targetted that knee. As Rollins went for a curb stomp, Zayn dodged it which hurt his leg more, and then he locked in a figure four. Seth fought out of it, and Rollins tried to hit a frog splash off of one leg, but Zayn got the knees up for a near fall. Rollins was able to get a curb stomp as Zayn entered the ring, but he couldn’t capitalize. Rollins just hit another one and won.

Grade: B. Good match, but it felt like just another Raw match. Plus, no way Zayn was winning this. 

Overall Grade: C.

Pros: Ziggler attack and promo; cesaro vs. ricochet; firefly funhouse; electric chair; main event

Cons: Lesnar being stupid 1; shane vs. lance; lesnar being stupid 2; lynch & cross vs. IIconics; #1 contendership

#hazyheel #wwe #raw #wwe raw #monday night raw #wwe monday night raw #pro wrestling #wwe review #raw review #wwe raw review #monday night raw review #wwe monday night raw review #pro wrestling review #super showdown #super showdown 2019 #seth rollins #sami zayn #bray wyatt #baron corbin #cesaro #ricochet

[survivingjapan]

EPISODE 1 - “Holding Reward At Gunpoint” Jonathan (Part 1)

http://68.media.tumblr.com/46c9df6f59ea9546f5bce886bded1108/tumblr_of3pd5e6Md1vzwwmeo2_250.gif

see. the thing is. I thought the prospect of having 26 people was going to make it a lit season with mess galore but this is too much. i dont know who these people are and im too lazy to go read all their bios so can we fast forward to merge when everyone h8s me and im begging for people to take me back so that I don't have to pretend to care about the early boots? ok tho I got really lucky my first 2 times playing to not be eliminated pre-merge or at double digits so im 99.9% sure my luck is going to run out this time..... just as long as I beat Jaiden, I'm good.

*ring ring* What is this telephone doing in the DR? Hello? OH hey Bodhi, no Matt's actually not here but I was just leaving a message for him, is there anything you'd like to say? http://68.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m9lmmjz1D01r5govf.gif HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA Hi fakes! Sucks you can't join me.....if only you hadn't turned poor lil Crow into a raging bitter bitch in Great Lakes with that goddamn rock!

I'll do a cast assessment later but lemme just say that I am completely shook that Andrew and Pippa and Isaac are here??? God they're so ugly but it makes me so happy that my fellow premerge flops are here to kick some ass. 

First off.... You people must really hate me don't you? Gosh jeez Connor I thought we were friends! I feel I need to take a bit of a moment to chuckle because, and again, I don't know these people that well, but I know for damn sure I'm one of the biggest villains in this cast, and I couldn't be MORE excited I am so "nice" that I'm placed on the heroes tribe. Tbh most of what i say in my confessional is just so people can laugh at what I said after the season is over, but I HATE talking to people, especially fucking TWENTY FIVE of them, and not only that, but can we take a look at the elephant in the room. The only people who know how I REALLY play and how I REALLY run my confessionals and gameplay are Steffen, Andrew, Pippa and Isaac because they hosted me. WHY IN THE GODAMN SAINT NICK'S ASSHOLE DID YOU PUT ALL FOUR OF THEM ON MY TRIBE LIKE OH MY GOD I THINK I'M GOING TO JUMP OFF OF A CLIFF BRB. In all honesty, I love all four of them. They're like my tumblr parents, but I need to find a way to get them all to individually want me than all of the others, and I hate having to plea my case to any of them as to why I should be trustworthy, because that's not how games work, but the fighting argument for me to be on this tribe is that i'm extremely loyal, and I'm thrilled that I get to play my loyal card and not have to be on the villain tribe, where people feel the need to play like villains. I think I'm going to be more of a villain than a hero this season, but I'll have to make it deep enough for those colors to truly show, and I'm hoping I can make it deep enough. I am right now going to look to make relationships with Kendall, Trace and Drew, in hopes that I can use those bonds early in the game, and maybe make a really tight deal with Kendall and Trace because they both seem like great people, leaving my soloman family as an afterthought for now, considering there's a good chance they'll get targeted. My plan for now: Seem like a starry eyed kid heading into the big times and see how it works out. :)

WELL... After watching all the videos, I first have to say WTF is Jonathan doing... I can't tell if he's being serious or not. Sorry not sorry. Linus' video made me choke and then I see we've got two shitty Great Lakes people in this game, one from my tribe and one from theirs. I can honestly hope that someone just doesn't get around as much as I do, and this way they'll be a target first and not me. I am REALLY liking Trace already because he's a frat boy just like me, and never in a million years did I think that I'd find another frat boy in this community, but here he is, so I hope that him and I can do some damage this season in a very non obvious way. I think the other person I really need to connect with is Andrew because I think he's a really smart player, and I really want to work with him (and Steffen) and especially push away Isaac and Pippa because they seem like weak links on the chain, and I know all of them being here is not going to be good for my game because they're just going to target Steffen or Andrew, so hopefully I can keep those two here. As for the Villains tribe, Tommy has been talking to me all night, and I legitimately feel closer to him than anyone else from my tribe. Same with Linus, who played in Soloman, but we never ever connected, so this is good that he's here, so I can hope to branch a bond with him. I'm also talking to Jaiden, who I have past game experience with, and then Crow and I have known each other for years, so if it comes to that, hopefully we can be secret enough to make moves with each other. Those four villains are ins that I'm going to try to have for awhile in the game, and if it ends up working out, it can put me in a really good position. My night one seems to be over as I'm fucking EXHAUSTED and need to go to bed. My plan for tomorrow is solidify something more with Kendall, and maybe even get a "ride or die" type offer out there since I think she's a really good player, and I know she knows I'm good too, and I think we're both loyal, which is great. I want to take a work on Mist and Alex C tomorrow, in hopes that outside the night one craziness, they can focus on building a bond with me. I need to take a backseat strategically, but a social frontrunner because if I'm being included in things, and minimally strategically contributing, it will take me a far way, and that's what I'm hoping for at this point. With 26 people, it's going to be hard to not write a million confessionals, but let the good times roll and we'll see what comes out of this game. :)

Time for my cast assessment. As I'm doing this, I'm re-watching the cast videos. A lot of this will be based off of first impressions because there are some people I’ve never met before, and others I’ve only briefly talked to in group chats or games I got out early in… Lol. We'll start with the Heroes. HEROES: Alex: Eyeroll. Alex is honestly way too hyped. He is so arrogant and the few games I’ve played with him, he just came off so smug and full of himself that it made me actually want to punch him in the face. Sorry Alex, India was not a fun game for either of us and you made it miserable! He probably hates me because I broke his 80-odd day streak of never receiving a vote for or against him in Tumblr Survivor, or maybe because I knew about ***** being a catfish half the season. Anyways, I hope one of us gets out early or we never swap onto the same tribe. Alex is super close with Kendall and I know Kendall is close with Sarah, so those three are gonna work together well simply because they did it in India. Andrew: My Uncharted baby!!! I love Andrew. We played together in UI with Pippa and later Storybook All Stars so I’m SO happy for him getting cast for the season he’s wanted to play for so long. I don’t think Andrew and I can work together because both of us had difficulty working together in Panem, so… We’ll see. Love him tho. Ashton: I LOVE ASHTON. He’s so adorable, he literally doesn’t even know that this is Heroes vs Villains 3. I’m rooting for him simply because he was a first boot and he came off really kind-hearted in his introduction video. Someone needs to protect this kid, because he CANNOT get premerge again – it would be a travesty. I’ll talk to him at some point tomorrow I guess. Dom: I’ve heard of Dom a couple times before, didn’t know much about him though. I think it’s pretty cool that he’s married to someone who was in the community in the past, he seems like a nice person. I see why he is on the heroes tribe. I want to get to know him a little bit better. Drew: Drew…. Ugh. Another person I didn’t wanna see this season. I don’t know what it is about Drew, but this guy is like a virus. I don’t enjoy playing games with him because he infects everybody else with this ugly ass disease and then he wipes everybody out. Like I’ll give him credit where credit is due, he’s a great player, but at some point in your life I think it’s time to know that you’re not going to do much better than what you’ve done. He can only win so many times and I hope this isn’t the main season he wins against me. Isaac: I like Isaac. I think his self-deprecating humor is very fun and he comes off as very honest about himself. However, I don’t think Isaac likes me. He’s very close with people like Pippa and Andrew and that’s going to be dangerous for my game because there isn’t a lot I can do to convince Isaac that I’m going to be on his side this season. With that being said, I won’t actively pursue a working relationship with Isaac, but I want to rebuild our relationship because I could need him down the road and I want to prove to him especially that I have changed. Johnny: GINGER KING. He’s cool. I aligned with him in his very first Tumblr game and we got along well but I was constantly trying to backstab his ass and ended up quitting that game fhdaskhjk. He deserved it tho because he was super fucking messy. I don’t know how he’s going to play this season and I’m kinda surprised that he’s on the heroes tribe??? I hope I can work with him this season because I like him a lot. Kendall: I can appreciate Kendall. My issue with her is that she is so hard to work with because she only trusts the people she’s been with the longest. So I know her loyalty will always lie with her heroes and Alex and Sarah. Kendall has got to go sooner rather than later and I won’t have an issue getting her out if a swap happens. Sorry, Kendall. Mist: LOVE Mist. I was rooting for them (idk their pronouns btw) in Maldives and then they got removed so it’s messy. I’m actually kinda surprised that Mist is on the heroes but I guess it’s more of a creative decision to have them there. I don’t know where we stand so I’ll try to talk to Mist more tomorrow. Pippa: AHHHH another Uncharted queen! Pippa is so messy and I love it. She’s definite fodder for the premerge so hopefully she lasts just long enough for us to end up together and I can take her out. :’) She hates me and that’s okay because I think I hate her too? Whatevs. Nothing special about Pippa, she’s just typical avocado-hating fashionist Pippa. Ruthie: A lot of people love Ruthie and she does extremely well in Big Brother games, but I don’t think that her popularity there is gonna translate well over to this season. I will keep an eye out for her because I know she’s got a spectacular social game and could easily go far this season. Her placement on the Heroes tribe is no surprise in the slightest. Steffen: I don’t like Steffen. Trace: Total wildcard. Never heard of Trace before and his video was the blandest of the Heroes, unfortunately. He was the first revealed in the cast reveal too so that was kinda cool, I guess. VILLAINS: Alex: He’s cool. I talked to him quite a bit today but he hasn’t messaged me back. I want to get to know him better. I’ve been talking about previous games to let him know the kind of person I am in hopes that he trusts me or wants to work with me, I suppose. Ashley: We have history from India and we didn’t get along around the time I went home. We never spoke much following that and I never thought we’d play together again, but here we are. I think she’s on this tribe because she flipped on the majority in India and it cost her the game at final four. She got what she deserved, tbh! Sorry to say. She is a nice girl, I’m willing to bury the hatchet, but who knows if the bridge between us has been burnt beyond repair. I don’t know if she will trust me or not. Brian: He’s cool, I guess. I haven’t talked to him and supposedly he’s fake as fuck. We’ll see what happens with him. Crow: Love Crow. Like secretly Crow could be my showmance. I just get him more than I get other people in this community. I want to work with Crow so bad, and I think he’s got a better game than he lets on at times. I hope that he can help me mend fences with key players like Sarah and through him, I can develop stronger bonds with people from Cutthroat, too. Jonathan: I barely know him LOL. He reminds me of Justin Timberlake. Junior: Junior can literally go fuck himself, but if you think I’m going to hold that animosity towards him this season… you’re absolutely correct. Junior is going to come after me because he’s a dumb cunt and I truly want nothing more than to send his ass out first tribal council we go to. Realistically, that’s not going to happen because he’s got so many fucking friends here, but as soon as the opportunity presents itself, I will go full chaos Jaiden and throw his dirty ass into the ocean. If you’re reading this and you got me before I got you, Junior, good on you. I don’t forgive and I don’t forget. Kage: Kage is a MESS and a half. I like it. No clue where we stand because I attacked him once and he like, briefly left the community but it is what it is. We’ll see. Linus: LINUS! Not surprised to see him here, but he’s not someone I would’ve predicted to be on the cast either. I’ve talked to him a lot today and he is also pretty cool, and I went overboard telling him tons of things about myself so he knows exactly what he’s getting into with me. I actually want to work with Linus because he seems scrappy, yet loyal as hell and I definitely need bigger threats surrounding me at all times like him. Who knows who this guy’s friends with, though. Patrick: No offense but who is he LOL Richie: Yikes, again who is he? I don’t know anything about him except that he won a season. Sarah: I said this pre-season, I’ll say it again now. Sarah is a very dirty player. I absolutely expect her to lowkey screenshot my conversations, use her magic to record my calls or something, and use everything against me. It is no secret that she’s done these tactics in the past and she is definitely the queen of making pre-game alliances, too. However, this season I want to approach Sarah with as much respect as possible. While using her strategies to get far in games is not admirable, I will admit that it works well for her and I don’t need to be on her bad side already. I’ll let Sarah use me the first couple of rounds so she can trust me, who knows. I just don’t want to turn on her too soon this season. Tommy: In Cutthroat, I basically said that I hated Tommy despite not knowing him, and I have to say that he’s the one person who completely had my feelings about them change during that season. He impressed the hell out of me with just how nice he was? We talked on call for HOURS in Cutthroat and I really appreciate that because he kept the conversation going, too. He’s really cool and I definitely want to work with him this season, possibly with the other Cutthroat players or something. Tommy is a top favorite of mine right now. So there you have it. My cast assessment. We’ll see how this changes as time goes on, hopefully I have a good read on these people.

https://youtu.be/sJNDguNKVpc

Umm, not much has happened so far. Tommy and Ashley seem nice. I had an instant connection with Alex, Sarah, and Crow just from past games and yeah that's about it. The start of Survivor is kinda like a first date. If you don't make a good first impression, you likely won't make the merge (if ya know what I mean). With that said, I think my intro video was ok. I got a few people say it was funny. I fucking hate Jaiden so much. Jaiden can go rot in fucking flaming hell for all i care. You might ask why I hate Jaiden. It's because he doesn't seem like someone who deserves to be alive. Wow, that got dark

Currently the only thing I'm mad about other than Jaiden is the fact I'm not on ashtons tribe. I so badly want to Francesca him

How many puppies do I need to kill in order to get through you people's head that I am EVIL????????????????

6 the answer is 6.

I can't believe I haven't made one of these yet!  Life is CRAZY for me right now so I've been super MIA and I just hope that I don't get targeted for it whenever we go to tribal or whatever. I'm glad that we get a reward challenge and that the weekend is coming up so WHEW.  I'm sure then I'll have time to talk to more people and make more connections.  I have to like... not flop at this reward so that my tribe thinks they need me. :o) 

This weird squishy cat is my best friend now

So I'm on day two and feeling a little wary because I really haven't been able to speak to the people I've wanted to speak to, and most importantly I haven't been able to build any GAME relationships, except with Trace, but that was last night. I talked to Ashton a bit, and I'm thinking about bringing him on as a potential ride or die goat, and not necessarily a first boot material person, which a good move for me I believe. I started talking to Ruthie, as well as Steffen, who I knew already, but I really want to have one of the strongest connections with him because I think he's a REALLY strong player, so hopefully that can go in my favor. I've also been talking to Tommy literally nonstop, and he's actually a really cool dude, except I'm being a little wary, but I'm hoping he's got a man crush on me and he'll want to help me out a little bit down the line. I still don't understand the idol system, and I'm going to need someone to explain it to me because I legitimately don't get it. I think it's like a normal search, but instead, someone just says where they want to seearch to the hosts, and then the hosts exploit that location, so I think i'll go for it sometime tomorrow since it's once a round and I'm keen to wait for the reward before I go deep digging into an idol search, especially because I might get that clue, and if I do, I can really use it to my advantage. Such a shame I haven't been able to talk to Kendall today, because her and Steffen, along with Trace, are the people I'm most keen to work with, along with Ashton, so we'll see how this goes for now, but farewell for the night. i'm gonna go drop some cats into some boxes! As for now, it's time to do what I do best and beast out this reward challenge

Sushi Cat is the tru MVP. Anyways, I'm back to being cracked. I keep searching on the blog pages for idols because somehow I think the idol is gonna be hidden on there. Of course, I'm wrong, but there are just so many things that COULD be the idol hidden somewhere... I just don't know. I want an idol for some reason this season??? Probably to avoid going home idk. 

Anyways,,, Look What You Made Me Do is the OG villain song and it applies well to me and my Tumblr Survivor experience I don't like your little games Don't like your tilted stage The role you made me play Of the fool, no, I don't like you I don't like your perfect crime How you laugh when you lie You said the gun was mine Isn't cool, no, I don't like you (oh!) But I got smarter, I got harder in the nick of time Honey, I rose up from the dead, I do it all the time I've got a list of names and yours is in red underlined I check it once, then I check it twice, oh! Ooh, look what you made me do Look what you made me do Look what you just made me do Look what you just made me do Ooh, look what you made me do Look what you made me do Look what you just made me do Look what you just made me do I don't like your kingdom keys They once belonged to me You ask me for a place to sleep Locked me out and threw a feast (what?) The world goes on, another day, another drama, drama But not for me, not for me, all I think about is karma And then the world moves on, but one thing's for sure Maybe I got mine, but you'll all get yours But I got smarter, I got harder in the nick of time Honey, I rose up from the dead, I do it all the time I've got a list of names and yours is in red underlined I check it once, then I check it twice Ooh, look what you made me do Look what you made me do Look what you just made me do Look what you just made me do Ooh, look what you made me do Look what you made me do Look what you just made me do Look what you just made me do I don't trust nobody and nobody trusts me I'll be the actor, starring in your bad dreams I don't trust nobody and nobody trusts me I'll be the actor, starring in your bad dreams I don't trust nobody and nobody trusts me I'll be the actor, starring in your bad dreams I don't trust nobody and nobody trusts me I'll be the actor, starring in your bad dreams (Look what you made me do) (Look what you made me do) "I'm sorry, the old Jaiden can't come to the phone right now." "Why?" "Oh 'cause he's dead!" Ooh, look what you made me do Look what you made me do Look what you just made me do Look what you just made me do Ooh, look what you made me do Look what you made me do Look what you just made me do Look what you just made me do

Aight My Day 3 assessment of everyone in this cast: HEROES Mist: I didn't talk to him too much. But he seems pretty cool so far. Nice guy. Idk why but i like his pfp which makes me like him more. Alex C: I would go gay for Alex. He's great. Also he likes calling and calling is fun so there's another plus. I probably like him because he's the most like people I hang out with outside the game. Andrew: Another person I really like and definitely wanna work with. On call Andrew, Alex, (An)Drew and I jokingly formed an "A"lliance which honestly un gonna try and make real since those 3 are all great. Dom: I haven't talked to him yet but fuck he's good at sushi cat. Drew: Drew is one of the people the few people that I know from past games. He's just as nice as ever this time. Hopefully I can work with him. Isaac: Hmmm Isaac is the one of the people that I had a tough time having a conversation with. I'll try to talk to him more but I feel like he's just gonna be someone i don't click with. Johnny: I fucking love Johnny. Hes nice and easy to talk to and he says he's really good at challenges. So i'd love to work with him. Kendall: Her intro video was top notch and overall I think she's a top notch gal. Another one of my faves so far. Pippa: Pippa was the first person to message me after I got out of GL and tell me about everything in this community so she always has a special place in my heart. I haven't talked to her much this time, but I hope we can work together. Ruthie: Haven't talked to her yet either. She snapchatted me tho and I forgot to reply so I kinda feel like she. Steffen: Steffen hosted me before so I'll be wary that he kind of knows how I play. I haven't talked too much with him yet either. Trace: Super nice guy. That's all i can describe him as he's just a cool guy. One of my top picks for someone to work with long term. VILLAINS Other Alex: Idk him Brian: I've played with Brian before and he fucked me over hard so i'm obviously wary of him. I think he's the type of player that will flip on anyone so if i do work with him trust will be short. Kage: Im 90% sure the only reason I was cast was to counteract Kage but Tbh I think I'll probably work with Kage. The Great Lakers are all pretty close so I'd love to work with all of them. Crow: Another Great Lakean but I hardly know him so i'm not sure. Jaiden: Jaiden doesn't have a picture and it annoys me immensely. That is all. Jonathon: Idk him Junior: I liked his intro video but other than that I don't have much to say about him. Linus: Idk Pat: Idk him Richie: The love of my life. Please swap us together. Sarah: She's like Half Great Lakean. I've talked to her quite a bit over the first two days so I think she's someone i'll probably work with. Tommy: Had a fun convo with him so good first impression. Was disappointed when I saw he was a villain. Ashley: Idk her Overall my gameplan this season is to just connect with everyone in these first stages without talking too much strategy. Nobody is gonna target me first cuz they'll feel bad sending me out again and I'm honestly just a very very small target. So I have plenty of time to form bonds and let other people battle it out. CrowI'm such a legend when it comes to starting convos, replying once or twice, and then completely forget about them. Truly, honestly, I'm a social game god. I bet everyone either a) ignores my existence b) loves me in a way that like "haha you would be so fun to talk to but you still need to go....like now" c) doesn't know who I am People have said I'm charming but idk.....I don't see it? I'm awkward and socially inept? like, I'm no threat to anyone socially......so they should take me far....ya know....if they want? =) but anyways..... Obviously I know Kage - he was in my first season where he tried to pull a fast one on me and got himself eliminated and then Sarah, who was the hosting intern late into the season who cheered for me......and then Tommy and Jaiden from Cutthroat. I made a bold move to try and save Tommy and stuck by Jaiden even in his chaotic downfall, so if either of those hoes comes after me, they're fake and rude. Right now though I'm just being social with everyone and NOT talking game with people.....cuz with 13 people on a tribe, trying to form alliances will do much more bad than good, but hey, not to say I'd decline invites into alliances...:D

tbh I feel I’m not socializing as much as I should be, or people just aren’t talking that much, either or, I am just going to chill for now and hope I’m included in whatever I need to be included in for tribal council. I'm definitely just going to pray that I can get into something, and it's the real reason I REALLY need to talk to Kendall, because I know she's going to be the hitch to make something happen, and I want to be a part of that! I hope there aren't alliances made already, but if there are then fuck. It's not my fault I don't know these people as well as I should. Maybe I'll take initiative with a small group and see where it gets me... Perhaps Kendall, Trace, Ashton and Drew? Only time will tell. Maybe I'll take this time to take more notes on people's past gameplay like I've been doing for the past three days :)

jk Drew voted Kendall out of Malaysia. Abort mission. Abort Mission

My first confessional.  Yay.  Much excitement. So I'mma be quite blunt.  I hate hate talking to these people.  I'm not some social butterfly myself, but loorrdddyyy... I know a few of these people from before, and I do not like most of the people I already knew.  We just do not mesh in games.  So now, here, in my 3rd chance at the Sole Survivor title, I have to let these people control my fate?  Nu uh.  Ain't happenin'.  I have to do what I couldn't the first two times and W I N. I'll do a cast assessment later !! xoxo brain

Okay so this game is going pretty well so far. So far I heckin love Alex (the one on my tribe), we act like we have known each other for much longer than 2 days and I could see myself working really well with him. Kage is also pretty cool, and happened to tell me where not to look for the idol? Even though I never asked them to? Idk if that is a sign of trust or not, but if it is that's awesome and I love it. 13 people on a tribe is pretty hectic, but hopefully with this many people it will be easy to blend into the background for a bit before I start having to make tough calls. Also we won the first reward! And I must say, I have never relate more to a game than I did with Sushi Cat... anyways. We got a firemaking kit, not sure what it contains but we shall see. I usually have nothing to do with the flag making challenges so hopefully someone will just take charge and make a flag, then if we lose maybe they can be blamed? who knows. hopefully it goes okay though. 

I'm glad that someone else can take charge with this whole flag making thing because honestly?  While I'm kind of artsy by hand if I fail I don't want all the blame placed on me and whoever showed off how well they can make flags IS really good at it, the heroes are totally going to win! Also it sucks that we lost the reward challenge but at least people see that I'm a team player since I had one of the higher scores. I wish we did better though, it's frustrating! 

So we lost reward.... No thanks to Kendall for being excused, and Mist for getting a strike. Between Mist getting a strike, Kendall taking an excused, Dom being particularly non communicative because he's on vacation, Ashton sucking at TS and Alex ballsing up to do the immunity challenge for us, it's safe to say there are a good amount of names to throw up there for potentially being voted out first that isn't mine. However, I'm REALLY digging the flag that Alex is working on, and regardless if we win or lose, I hope he gets accolades for doing this because he did an amazing job and it looks really good! I hope tonight is the night that communication starts to flow and I can start making some deals if we lose immunity, especially the one with Kendall that I'm still fishing for. I have a good feeling that Ashton and Trace trust me, but unfortunately that's it for now, and I really just need to solidify something in the form of a vote to show that I can be an asset to people's games because I'm struggling to get my footing in this season compared to where I was in Soloman, so we'll see. I think Pippa and Isaac are more keen to work with me than Andrew and Steffen are, which is too bad because I want to get something with Steffen going early on, and we'll see where that takes me.

New Plan: I'm tired of waiting for Kendall. Steffen, you're up!

I'M BACK YA SHITS! Okay yeah I know it's only been 5 seasons because Hosts but point being, HvV 3 is something I had been dying to get into since I entered this community. Would I be a hero or a villain? Well, hero I guess. But listen - I don't intend on keeping this hero game up. In fact I think I have a better chance as a hero seeing as people might expect more "morally correct" or whatever the fuck you wanna call it shit outta me. So that means I can show the villainous side™ when they don't expect it. Because honestly? I think my app and mixed hero/villain reputation in general leaves me to be flexible with whichever direction I wanna go. So these assholes better get ready hehe Anyway this is day after reward was due (which we lost by a small margin but whatever) so I have a lot to discuss. Initial thoughts on the heroes? Fuck I wanna die. First of all, Connor and co. didn't realize until I pointed it out that they not only cast the entirety of the Solomon hosting team in Isaac, Pippa, Steffen, and I - he also put all of us on the same tribe. Which... Steffen hero? Unlikely content. Isaac and Pippa heroes? Yeah. Me? I still dunno. I mean this could be both good and bad because on the one hand I have numbers but on the other hand I could be fucked in the ass for having all these people I know. Not to mention Drew and Kendall are here and I'm also very close friends with those 2. Although, Isaac could be the one that's slightly more fucked connection-wise just because he not only has the Solomon hosting team but there's also a big fucking Malaysia bloc consisting of himself, Kendall, Drew, and Alex Crooks. Which I guess Crooks said he'll try to keep the MaGAYsians safe but whom'st've knows? Speaking of Crooks... Him and Pippa are gon' fuck. Like. I'm just saying. They vomited about theater on group call for 20 minutes and I'm pretty sure he's one of like the 5 (five) or so guys who actually likes Tits And Vajengas around here so I mean there's a chance... that could happen... I mean he's cool if we're on the subject of him now. He's definitely a more outspoken player and could be a threat? But also myself, him, Drew, and Ashton were on a group call the other night and all got along really well. Speaking of Ashton he's pretty chill actually? And seems down to Earth enough. I mean I still dunno if that Trump pic was a joke or not because he used the word meme but eh. If he's my number he's my number idgaf. I've talked to Trace, Mist, and Ruthie a bit too and I still need to talk to Dom. Which I should probably do today because gotta keep that social game up. And then there's Johnny who seems super excited to play with his hosts and I love him BUT! I know he can be insane. And I wouldn't put it past him to be like "lmao imagine if I vote out my hosts hehe." Not on my watch dot gif! In terms of villains... Holy shit. First of all, y'all cast Brian. Who hates me. I just don't play well with the guy like. He makes everything about him and has this self-righteous attitude but is also a snake so none of that clicks or makes sense and it's just like okay you dunno what you're doing huh. He doesn't like me from the Pacific Islands series after I've killed him twice, so there's that. Him and Isaac have bad blood too from that series so I can tell Brian is going to strictly be an enemy if I ever end up on a tribe with him. Same with Jaiden maybe? Idk the fact that Jaiden's here has me screaming because we just never end up working together. He's one of the biggest wild cards to play with in this community and we may be close friends but I'll vote him out in a heartbeat. And that honestly goes for any of these people. I've also talked to Sarah because she initiated convo with me and she seems fine but I know she's a messy player. I do need to work on connections though with some of the villains. I can probably try other Alex, Ashley, and Linus. Just because I have some prior slight experiences with them. I wanna definitely try getting to know Richie, Jonathan, and Pat just because I have never talked to them before. And like I said, connections with the villains could be very good. In Generations I didn't utilize the One World at all, so people wanted me out just for really not having that strategic connection to them. I don't wanna make that mistake this time. Anyway I guess last little tidbit of info uuuuuuuuh... I got a MOTHER FOOKIN IDOL YA'LL FUCK! I literally DRTYTFUYGIUHOIJPO god I was the first to search for the heroes and I dunno if the villains searched either but first fucking spot I find the hero's idol. Even Connor was shook LIKE YGIUHOIJPI I CANNOT BELIEVE!!! So now I have this and Isaac knows because like I gotta keep him close for now. And not only do I have this idol - but it can combine with the villain idol PROBABLY for a super idol. So we'll see where that goes. And oh yeah Steffen has an extra vote according to Isaac but it reveals who you vote for or something. Snake ass. Anyway wish me luck ya fakes :~)

So the move for me was to stop waiting and start acting! I couldn't do it too much, but I had to make a minor jump in the right direction since so many people were leaving me hanging. I really wanted to work with Steffen when I found out he was on my tribe, so I went to him with a ride or die deal. I am loyal to a fault, and there is no chance I'm going to turn on him with the deal I just made. He's going to be my Jacob, except, no offense to Jacob, but I have more confidence in Steffen to lead me into the right direction, opposed to Jacob, who was kinda loosely tagging behind me last season. Let's play ball, and if we lose this immunity, hopefully it's Steffen and I making power moves and not someone making a move on us, especially with the amount of people who've stood out early on as potential targets.

So I've tried being my weird self to as many as people as frequently as possible and in the process I made an alliance with Alex. Not necessarily because he's the one I love the most, but because he seems like he'll be one of the stronger influences in our tribe and in these early votes, I would like to just go with the flow.... Beyond that, I'm just trying to not flop at all this small talk crap by insulting everyone and hoping they take it as a joke because that's how I communicate... Tommy and I seem to be working together but we haven't said anything yet and there might be low-key tension between Jaiden and I, I can't tell.... I confided a bit in Alex so if I hear it come back around, I'll know he isn't to be trusted (I mean, nobody is to be trusted fully, we're the villains but I need faithful allies in these early days) Right now I'm playing myself down and trying to evaluate how these players are going to play based on their personalities because as of now, I do not feel safe whatsoever. I felt safer on my tribe of 4 in Cutthroat Island than this tribe of 13. here's to hoping that Crow doesn't get 26th *cheers*

 https://youtu.be/PLpY4ZXJQD4 I absolutley adore crow, alex, kendall, the other alex, drew linus and junior...god i love everyone..am i really on the villains tribe wtf djdbkdbd

#returnrevengeredemption #confessionals

[maythedreadwolftakeyou]

I finished!!! game time was like something like 138 hours but I spent a good dozen or so hours pausing the game to check my phone or wandering off to make dinner. 

I this said last night in a sleepy 4am haze, but I really enjoyed the ending. It was fun to play. The only time I died was when I accidentally fell into a chasm bc I didn’t realize a goddamn fiend was gonna come barreling out of the hall and ruin my “melee everything” scheme and I scooted myself right off a dang platform and respawned directly in its mouth. Whoops. When the Archon called up the Architect I was very Oh god not another one but then I didn’t have to actually try to kill it ever just avoid it, so that was fine. I LOVED how everyone came out to help at the end. It always seems unbelievable to me that your pals are content to hang back for the boss fight (ME2 I thought did well with having everyone else away on different tasks, and the ME3 citadel mission where everyone goes together is one of my favorite parts of the trilogy). And getting to run around with Kandros (who i love but duty calls and we can never be together) and Reyes (im still Very Sad i had to break up with him) and the Salarians!! and then your team coming in at the end :333 ah. It was a very feel-good, exciting culmination, and I think it fit the tone of the rest of the story well. Part of me was half-expecting disaster like you have to sacrifice Scott or a bunch of citizens or something, and while I eat that sort of tragedy up, I’m glad there wasn’t any for this game. 

Incidentally, all of my screenshots of Scott somehow turned out like this, and so I’ve decided this is a chronic problem his whole life and he has 0 good photos ever even when the rest of the fam comes out lookin great:

ah, Scott. someday i’ll play as him with this Ryder as his sister and it’s gonna have to be a wild ride.

Romance: I romanced Vetra!! I love her a lot as a character but I just kept wishing for more content. And I know I always crave more romancey content but I did feel like her romance arc had a lot less than what I knew people were getting from Jaal’s, especially because it takes you over halfway into the game before you get anything from it. Four flirt opportunities where she doesn’t really flirt back, my Ryder was dying and convinced her crush would never be reciprocated (hence the brief fling with Reyes). But I did LOVE the scenes you do finally get with her, the climbing date was soooo sweet, and I could not stop laughing when she tries to make you dinner. I’m never telling my beautiful girlfriend she doesn’t know how to cook steak. NEVER. she did it perfectly, i love cow. But I just wish there was a scene where YOU could do something for HER. Lexi even tells you that you should show her she’s appreciated and doesn’t have to take care of everyone all the time to be worthy of being liked but then you... never get a chance in game to really do that. Sigh. I definitely have a lot of inner-headcanoning going on for thier relationship. Though Vetra wants to eventually settle down and have a home and i’m... not so sure that’s in the cards for this Ryder. I may tweak the characterization of my Vetra-romance-ryder in some ways and redo this Ryder with Reyes for real next time. I think next up is gonna be a Jaal playthough though.

But, OVERWHELMINGLY, the relationship I was absolutely most fascinated by the whole game and spent way more time thinking about than romance, was the relationship between Ryder and SAM. I went into endgame thinking that the game really hadn’t gotten into that aspect nearly as much as I wanted, AND THEN!!! SAM GETS DISCONNECTED! And it’s revealed they took over WAY more control of the Pathfinder’s physiology than anyone had even guessed!! it’s not just “SAM can take access of enough systems to stop and then restart your heart” it was “SAM is so intertwined with you that they are integrated into these systems already and their absence makes it almost impossible for the Pathfinder to cope without.” I LOVED IT. I was so ready to address that, like, did Ryder know? Did SAM do it by choice or was it just an effect of Alec’s modifications? 

And then... nothing. You’re linked back up with SAM. No one questions it. You don’t get to talk to Scott about how SAM is different for you than him now. Or at least, not that I’ve found??? to be fair I can’t seem to find Scott post-endgame yet (where is he hiding???? i’ve been all over Meridian after leaving/going back), and I still need to go check out the colonies and see what people there have to say. But it really seems like everyone sort of was like “whew, glad that’s sorted out, SAM’s back and htis could never possibly be an issue again so we will all forget about it and never bring it up again.” There was one colonist before (Fawkes) who was one of the only non-main characters to ask a really detailed question about SAM/what the future of AI is gonna look like in Heleus and I was so psyched for that convo. There’s a couple dialogue responses you can take, I went with:

becuase I really like the idea that Ryder starts to think of themselves as not just Ryder, but a Ryder-And-SAM partnership. There’s a lot of sacrifice in that. You’re admitting that your body is not just You anymore, but a team where both sides are valued.

I’ve spent a lot of the game thinking about Ryder’s internal dialogues with SAM, and the dynamic it would add to their relationship. You don’t have a voice that lives inside your head (and gives you its 100% undivided attention while you’re in the field) and not end up talking to it all the time. SAM asks you questions back on the Tempest when you talk to them and I bet they would when out and about as well, just privately. There’s a line in one of the Vaults where Ryder starts talking to herself and then catches it--

--because she gets more and more accustomed to not being the only one in her head. SAM is always there. More than that, they always have your back, and are ready to feed you whatever you need to get the mission done. They’re not just a voice, they’re a tool; and they’re not just a tool, they’re a support system. Maybe Ryder knows just how intertwined SAM is becoming with theer body, and isn’t just aware, but welcomes it. The Ryders are a fucked up family who aren’t good at talking to each other, but SAM means you never have to be alone again. Someone is always there for you, protecting and watching out for you. 

So in the final mission, when SAM is ripped away from Ryder--it’s not just a physical effect. It’s like losing a part of your soul and a best friend and a, in some ways, a parent--because SAM learned through Alec Ryder before anyone else--and in other ways, a child--because Ryder is responsible for teaching SAM what it means to be a person and how to navigate the world. And I wish you could convey that emotional distress (even if less complex) in the game, and that Ryder was as worried for SAM’s well being as they are for Scott’s when they race to stop the Archon. Becuase in a lot of ways, I think my Ryder would have grown closer to same than she ever did with her brother.

Anyway, I wish the game hadaddressed these things more, but I also accept that like--this is a trope that I just am REALLY into and have been for ages. It’s not gonna be what everyone wants as the main focus, and it just wasn’t the big story they were trying to tell. At the beginning of the game the descriptions of SAM hyped me up so hard because they reminded me very strongly of my favorite short story, Silently And Very Fast by Catherynne Valente (which, if you haven’t read it, it’s really amazing and you can read the first part here (the other 3 parts are linked at the bottom of each chapter), or I can send a pdf of it if you want, it’s really good people read it please and then tell me about your Emotions). The story veered off not long into the plot of the game (I, along with many others, suspected for a while that SAM would turn out to be like the mother’s consciousness integrated into the AI or something) but I stayed pretty invested in it as a major part of my Ryder’s experience in Heleus. 

And like, I guess this would be something I’ll probably end up doing fic about now since the game didn’t give me as much as I wanted (and I only meant to write a short paragraph about it here and now i have like 9 whoops), so I’ll probably keep thinking about it with the rest of my Ryders. There’s so much potential there. Jade Ryder really grew attached to SAM, but there’s also potential for resentment there--SAM is always watching, Ryder essentially gives up any aspect of privacy in their life, even if SAM is polite enough not to comment on it.

wow this got away from me. anyway. that’s the game!!!!! i’m running around making sure i’ve talked to everyone still. I need to go check up on the colonies and stuff, but I did pretty much everything else before the last mission, so there’s not much to play. Just some assignments that don’t have navpoints. and then start thinking about my next Ryder!!! I played Jade Ryder as pretty logical and professional, with a tendency to open up more with people as she grew to know them better, though she struggled to be open/heartfelt when talking to Angara when her natural conversation style with them flopped hard at first. I think my next Ryder who I still need to name is gonna be way more casual/joke-y (tho i think Ryder is HILARIOUS no matter what, it’s so fun to have such a lighthearted protag) and probably more reckless and prone to following their whims. Gonna have to re-battle the CC though which I’m not so much looking forward to. 

oh also re: the second picture: i FUCKING LOVE that you beat the architect on Elaaden so hard it shoots itself into orbit and slowly decays and you can just sit there and watch it slowly fizzle in the cold vacuum of space

#jade ryder #mass effect: andromeda #SAM #mass effect: andromeda spoilers #this got long SORRY #im just having Many Thoughts #ramblings #long post

[fmlfpl]

Lineup Lamentations - GW5

Our Transfers, Captains, and Starting 11s for the week.

WALSH

TRANSFERS:

OUT: N/A

IN: N/A

Easy save for me. Team is in good shape with no pressing issues. Will reassess with two frees next GW.

GK:

Alisson Becker goes again. Hopefully he keeps the Cruyff turns in his locker against Spurs and doesn't do anything daft. Not expecting a clean, but, who knows. Some saves would be chill.

DEF:

Robbo double up goes again. 3 cleans in 4 on the season has been pretty nice, but they have a stiff test this weekend for a clean. Luckily Robbo is basically an OOP ginger winger so always a shout at assists. Start every week guy not even a question about it.

Other expensive boy Mendy goes with a tidy fixture.  Will prob haul as per. Good lad that Ben is.

Best LB in Europe unfortunately didn't look to make the trip with the boys so WannyBiz will deputize again. Tomkins back is everything and I am now somewhat reasonably expecting a win to nil against the hapless Terriers even tho it is an away game.

Finally, new friend from last week Jonny Castro Otto gets his first start for me. The 9 points sat on the bench was a rough one to take last week so we all know what this means: Wolves to concede 2 against Burnley.

MID:

Mo sticks obv.

Daveed put in a nice performance last weekend but emerged with no puntos. Another peach home fixture so hopefully he gets involved in the goals. I do expect a complete battering in that game.

Eriksen sticks around and feels bad going against my double Livp defenders but what is a man to do. We'll see if he can keep up his Denmark form. 

Finally, Ladro will go again. After Billian travelled with Brazil and Pedro's goal for them last game off the bench seems likely to me he'll start. Not sure how long I'll stand by this guy though. If he's rotating with Willian he'll prob go soon. TBD.

FWD:

No changes here, still Kun and Arnie.

Arnie looks likely to go next GW with two frees...but up against Everton is as good as they come. We'll see how he does and re-evaluate in a week.

CAP:

Kun. All about Kunny this weekend. Home plum fixture while Mo has a tricky one...feels like a very simple decision. All hail Kun.

ALON

TRANSFERS:

OUT: Bavies and Ozil

IN: David and David (Luiz and Silva)

Double the David double the fun as far as I can tell...

Ozil we talked on two pods ago just had to go. He’s not playing his favored position and it’s not suiting him with the eye-test and the stats to back it... Silva is one of the only (possibly the only) under ~9m mids in the game who I trust right now so being able to get him in because of my saved free feels like tidy work good job by me. Fantastic and graceful bald human with a huge cock is my kinda guy. Welcome to the squad.

On the other end kinda going rogue with Daveed part 2 instead of Chilwell who I hyped on the pod. For the record I do still like Leicester’s defense and back them... But when push came to shove and I had to ask myself, and ask my pod partner, is Leicester defense really better then Chelsea’s defense? The answer is simply no. We hold Chelsea to a higher standard so it feeeeeeels worse but that’s simply not true and they have way higher upside to improve as well. Fixtures are pretty good. Go on Sideshow Bob.

GK:

Still very made-up with my non-move last week keeping DDG not panicking into Ederson and here he is again.

Not an easy fixture but Watford.. I don’t know.. I like them but I don’t really trust their attack to consistently do anything ie. complete passes, create chances, or score goals... Feels unsustainable at the moment so go on DDG with another clean and some saves vamossssss.

DEF:

5-3-2 alive and well over here... My defense and GK are made up of: 2x Liverpool, 2x Chelsea, 1x City, 1x United.... $$$$$

Robbo and Trent going away to Spurs is a tough ask. There’s also bound to be a fair bit of rotation this month with basically a tough match every 3 days. Who knows when and where these rotations will occur -- regardless you start these two every week and take it from there. Cleans are possible vs. anyone and so are attacking returns. GO ON BOYZZZZZ!!!!!!!

New boy David Luiz joins up with the murder merchant Alonso home to Championship side Cardiff... This should be sorta similar match-script to the Chelsea Newcastle match where Chelsea had 999999% possession and only conceded the one barely even half chance in the match -- hopefully this time it doesn’t go in and the double clean tits me.

Lastly Mendy home to Fulham. Probably no clean here if I’m being honest you can’t hold Mitro down and Fulham have other good guys countering etc... that said it’d be surprising to me if City score less then four goals and therefore Mendy will probably be in the assists as usual.

MID:

Salah goes again. He absolutely shredded Spurs last season. Probably will do again. Good guy <3.

Dilva in an ass-fucking against Fulham should be in the points. Basically playing Battleship with Dilva and the upside of City scoring seven goals -- one of the dongs will fucking go through him or he’ll be on the end of one right it just has to?!?!?!!??! Sink my battleship you beautiful fuck.

Lastly Lucas Moura. Good guy, good player, should be starting up top again although in a bad fixture... What I’m worried about is that Sonny is back. To me that reads as major rotation risk -- especially with UCL back -- so Lucas’ days in my side are numbered. I’m thankful for the price rises and points though. Good friend good punt by me... I hope he stays quiet tomorrow though...

FWD:

Same as Walsh just basically copy and paste his shit above down here. Kun and Arnie, Arnie and Kun.

Kun needs no words as now he’s the highest owned player in FPL.

Arnie is on a very short leash with his upcoming fixtures and West Ham’s inability to field a central midfield. Mitro is in my thoughts big time and if my team looks good and comes out injury/rotation free this weekend Arnie to Mitro is very much on the cards.

CAP:

If you missed my Fulham rant it’s at about 01:09:49 from Episode 155...

No other words needed and it’s captain Kun.

#FML FPL #FMLFPL #FPL #Fantasy Premier League #FantasyPL #Lineup Lamentations

[thebrushedbalcony]

Sunday Night 8/5

   I suppose I wasn't in the right headspace earlier in the day. I had gone to bed late the night before, I had had one or two small screw-ups that I could write off as not my fault. I had a full 9 hours of sleep before Saturday - and that was after a few short nights. My birthday had been the Thursday before, and I was generally in a good mood during/after. Steven smoked me out at 10, I went to Old Chicago after, and then Tessa and Hoppe came and hung out for just an hour. I suppose at this point, I had been smoking about 6 nights a week for 2 weeks (started right after I lifted my self-imposed ban on not smoking after I closed). 

I guess if im going that far back I might as well take an even broader picture of whats been happening in my life recently. Its been 8 months since I moved out into this house. Eight months since I began easily removing any mental boundaries I had set in stone for myself. Drugs, Sex, language (still gonna hold onto that last one for awhile). Something I haven't nearly done enough soul-searching about is God! I'm worried I have so easily dropped an entire life that had been pointing me towards a life of bible-reading, church-attending, and being the perfect role model. Like Amanda moving in! A year ago I would have been proud to flaunt that I didn't smoke or drink or have even the slightest thought about dirty sex outside of a sanctioned marriage. Now look at me, I'm everything past Ethan liked to believe he was better than everyone else about. I guess thats a long-winded way of saying I'm a big ol' hypocrite! These are the big things I have held onto my whole life - my way of always thinking in the back of my head that I'm "better" than everyone else just a bit. And now its all gone awaaay.

I don't mourn the loss of my "innocence" or whatever tho. These were all my decisions, I thought these all out. Sure half of it was probably my hamster going into overload, but just maybe it wasn't! Some of these christian laws and rules that everyone has to follow don't seem very rooted in solid logic. But wow, maybe thats my hamster again. Spinning in overdrive to make up logical reasons for my stupid decisions. Either way, I've got no regrets! This last night is really pushing that though. Sex was fun, and I'm going to continue to have fun with it during my life. Marijuana is fun! I presume I'll still be getting high for years to come. Maybe. Last night was actual, existential pain like I've never felt before. I was able to fully slide into the victim mentality - first time in my life. But I'll get to that later. I'm not sure who these last two paragraphs are for, but I think that is a pretty good look into my head going into last night. Oh yeah - that’s what the point of all that was! Alright. Back to the story. 

5 grams of weed. That’s how much I helped Josh distill. 30 bucks, if I went to a cheaper dealer. Josh was on TOP of the math, apparently the cup he just poured was one-hundred-freaking-milligrams. Josh and I didn't take that number seriously. Maybe Josh did more, in the back of his mind, but we both knew steven took like, 80mg of the stuff and didn't feel anything! And the "30mg" cookie I took a week or two ago wasn't really that bad anyway. No way this is 100mg. "These edibles ain't shit!" as I drank actually 100mg and sealed my incredibly unforunate fate. Drank it at 8:30, and I could actually feel it really fast. Like within minutes, just a small sense that something was off. In a good way of course, like cool! Getting high already.

First hour was fun. I was already kinda in a daze, having only got 6 hours of sleep the night before. Having fun, music was great and I even pulled out my phone and recorded whatever strange conversation we were having at the time. The other three were pretty hyped about a firepit, I still think its very funny Josh had lived there so many years and had no idea if there was one around still. I was inside, stuck to a chair when I recorded a bit of what was going on in my head. This must have been about 10:15:

"the house is all screwey. Its like every thing I see is instantly as distant as a sharp memory, srrange focal points and strangw perspectives. Im dreaming? Weird nostslgia molding together, in a not normal way. like an old distant life. im lazq ‰) %/"#÷ame. wow, hah This is lucid, but stuck. Its self aware lucid and is all."

It had been a bit over an hour and a half and I was practically in a dream state. Whats strange is all my other experiences with edibles is I don't notice myself getting much higher after 1.5/2 hours. I guess there was just so much weed it kept on being absorbed. Anyway, Amanda came and grabbed me as Josh and Drew were trying to get the fire started. I was having a grand old time, stumbling around and in complete awe as to how I couldn't file anything I was seeing into a clear and defined memory. It still plays out like an extremely vivid dream in my head. None of the wacky dream stuff was happening, like people I didn't know or new settings, but everything had that strange sheen and warped perspective of not really being there. 

I believe it was 10:30/45 when I had to stumble away from the campfire because I had a sudden and very specific feeling that I was going to throw up. I got to my car and realized there was actually a whole lot that was going wrong. I held onto the driver's side of my car for dear life as my reality slowly splintered into anguish. I would have said pain right there, but that wouldn't be right. It wasn't really a sharp bad physical pain, I get a nice dose of that whenever a migraine hits. No this was like, being unplugged from the matrix but the only other option was death. To continue the analogy, I would try and plug myself back in but realized in horror the only thing that defined my existence was a few vague memories from my past when nothing really special happened. That’s all I was, a big ol poser in life with only a false personality given to me by my parents and my church with a few unrelated memories that I pretended tied it all together. It was like my personality and my own being was being broken down to it's pure biology - the entire person I had spent my whole life building up just being ripped away. The worst part is I was locked out of anything that had happened in my brain for the past 10 years. All the dreary foggy terrible memories were from random times when I was growing up, and none of them even had bad emotions attached to them! The horror was them being displayed to me as the only thing that made me a person. It was lifeless, cruel, something was telling me that I've never had any real life, and it was going to rip away every single lie I have told myself since I was born. And all that would be left is a broken and defeated nothing of a living being.

Now, I don't presume to get all spiritual here. That "something" was me, I mean right? I took too much drug, and it went to TOWN and the only thing they had to work with was this brain up here. I'm.... not sure where it came up with all that though. A current working thesis is that... it uncovered something? If marijuana truly only had my brain to work with, it pulled that ugly monster out of SOME deep dark corner. Now I'm sure it completely amplified and morphed this small insecurity into the terrible monster that it became, but nevertheless it was a monster of my own creation. And thats what makes it so terrifying, I was in agony and defeated by MYSELF. Well, plus a buttload of drugs. Hmm, maybe that was it. But Josh and Drew had the same amount! It could be explained away by different tolerances or different mental makeup. Either way, I crossed my boundaries like, WAY far.

Maybe I am overthinking this. I have slowly learned to deal with migraines for the past 10 years - and thats been a huge struggle to fight my body with my mind! Once it hits I can't do anything to stop it. But I've learned to accept it, I ride it out and deal with it - acknowledge that it'll get better eventually. I suppose that is the line of thinking from last night that kept me sane. I knew weed couldn't kill or maim you. You better believe I held onto that thought - that idea like it was my lifeline. 

Anyway I told Amanda where the spare was, I got in my car and laid down eventually. I was glad Josh was there in the car with me for some of the time, as I mentioned earlier I knew I had no qualms putting myself in the "very bad victim" category. Normally I would feel bad Josh had to sit in the car with me for 30+ minutes, but I didn't! I was in so much bad having his slight uncomfort was almost expected. That sounds super selfish and I'm very grateful but thats how it was hah. He grabs me some water, dips inside towards the end so he didn't have to stay out there forever. Eventually I get inside, and onto the couch (around 12:10) and I somehow zoned out until 3. I remember some small conversation, someone passed me some sherbert and I think Amanda made pizza later. I knew I didn't want to sleep on the couch so I went downstairs and stole the bed in the middle of the room. Got about 6 hours, and still felt high when I woke up. And theeen I lazed around all day, took a nap and left and came here at 8. 

So in conclusion. I think I might have got a bit too fanatic about the whole "hidden mental closet" thing, but maybe not. I definitely had a LOT of weed, and it definitly hit me wrong. The next few days will tell if there is anything different in how I...live? mentally? I think even now 48 hours the shock is wearing off. Even typing this it seems like a really vivid dream. I might not have even typed this if Josh hadn't mentioned that I maybe should, that these experiences can fade away. I guess i'm not surprised, my sober mind is probably busy chucking that memory into a trash bag and dragging it down to the landfill!

I guess, with my first few paragraphs being hindsight, I do have a lot of scary thoughts that I don't think about. Who am I really, what are my real boundaries, if I can throw out these big boundaries so easily, who's to say I chuck the baby out with the bathwater and give up on my personality as I've started with! Haha naa, I like what I am. There I said it, I am haappy with who I am. Maybe a bit more sex would help with the self esteem, and a bit more money would be quite welcome as well - but I'm doing alright. I've got my own house, a freaking perfect mini-studio in here, a tired but nice job, and a really awesome friend in Josh. In his parent's freaking fairy-tale house. 2/10 would bad trip again fo sho