#tho i love some parts of my 'poems' 😂

[v01d3nt1ty]

"Didn’t I tell you

you are a fish do not go to dry land

for I am the deep Sea." - rumi

(from GoOD Mornings with CurlyNikki)

oh to be able to express like rumi!

or to be spoken through. or however it works.

this hit me bc i am deeply connected to the ocean. my *happy memory* go-to is the beach, the pacific ocean, *my* ocean. my fav colors are like soft teals, pastel aquas and blues, deep ceruleans... so yeah i'm a mermaid but not like... not like the commercialized version that everyone buys into. if i die tragically, i want it to be by drowning in the ocean.

wtf was my point.

anyway it brought me into that sharp awareness of being. and it's like peace & love & comfort & oneness & vibing...

idk, it was cool.

i also really love language. i hate it, but i love it. i hate that we need it, it's so clunky and awkward. there are a lot of words to remember & what if you get them wrong or forget them or put them in the wrong order? (hello, autism. 👋) i used to write poetry, realized i sucked at it & stopped.* i've always been deeply interested in foreign language, even tho i do not have the attention span to learn any. (i took one yr of spanish and 3 of french tho, that was fun. tried to take german... studied japanese w a new-at-the-time friend who has been a friend for like 10yrs or more.) (also i really love.... intentionally arranged sound? & i love variety. so i basically just love the way languages *sound* even without the meaning. don't get me started on accents...)

but i think my deep appreciation for language comes from being neurodivergent, being frustrated at being misunderstood all the time. being afraid to speak up too much bc my thoughts didn't align w what i was taught. my instincts going exactly counter to what i was being told all the time. so i probably developed this desire to be able to correctly assemble and arrange the most appropriate words for any given situation. the right & wrong things... so much to remember.. omg so boring, so tedious.. no wonder i hate everything. er.

so. yeah. no one asked for my psychology, but there u go. i never told u to read this, it's ur own damn fault.

*so this is a memory story. there are two, actually.

the first is, when i was in 5th grade, so around 9 or 10, i wrote this poem & it got printed in The School Newspaper (!!! omg such a huge deal!) anyway, i had this memory, & vaguely remembered some of the words. then somewhere in my 20s, i found the paper & read it & i was *amazed.* it was phrased perfectly, didn't even rhyme, was pretty deep esp for a 10 yr old. i *cannot* remember exactly how it went, but if i posted it with no context, u wouldn't think it was by a little kid. idk how i *lost* how to do that. probably by trying to Be Good and follow rules.

the other is when i was in hs, probably a senior, probably 17. so i listened to a lot of 90's alternative & grunge, as one did back then. (98.5 KOME, i still remember 😂 i wonder if any of those tapes are still good?) so i wrote a poem that was probably heavily influenced by the lyrics of the time, smashing pumpkins, REM, nirvana... and i was v proud of it. idek why i thought showing it to my family was a good idea, but i did. & my grandma goes "this [part] doesn't make any sense. what does it mean?" and i'm like "it isn't supposed to mean anything..." anyway it crushed my lil soul and i had to Follow Rules again. bc how can i know how to People if i don't do things the way People do things?

oh wow that's sad. poor young me. *hugs lil me*

why do i share my trauma.

idfk. maybe so one day, even one person will feel less alone.

byeeeee

#tl;dr #personal #neurodivergent #rumi #introspection #don't even bother #ocean

[astrxlis-archive]

Hello Fox!! ❣️ First of all, i feel so much flattered because i just found out that you've tagged my little gift???!?!?!?! My exact reaction(s): [ 😳🤭🥺😭 ] Well, all i could say is that: Thank you. I'm so glad you appreciate my lil gift! <333 What matters to me is that you get to read it 🥺💗 The anon was totally too stunned to speak after i've seen what you did😂 You're too kind 😭💞

I wanna address your latest piece too. About that, i really go 🤯🤯🤯 with how you try to be descriptive and use some ✨✨✨ words 🙈🙉🙈 My favorite would be Kazuha's! It's just really too good for me 🤭💞💞💞 The way you said "no matter how much he'll declaim poems with his lips, he'd rather seal it over yours". Truly, no poem or haikus that could escape his lips would make him want to repeat them over and over again— unless it's the act of kissing you 😏 Would you like me to give some comment (positive ofc!) about the other three? Yes or yes because i'm boutta do it right now😇

I don't have much in store or something to say tho the way it started with Scaramouche's favorite "part" made me go 🧐🧐🧐 what is this 🤔👀 Next. For Diluc, i liked how warmly the description depicted was. My mind when reading it: ( redirect to— the image of this certain man kissing the back of your hand ). Lastly, for Kaeya. It makes so much sense :D Ears could be associated with "whispers" and/or "secrets". So in this vulnerable part of the body where secrets are shared, he gets to place kisses in yours. He knows your secrets that he only gets to know.

I may have difficulty in feeling things and so mu brain just— "analyze this poetrical piece instead" 🙈 i hope this will make you smile despite the stress everyday gives us :)

— Have a good day! 🍰.

hello 🍰!!!

i've missed you! how are you doing? 🥺

tbh i was a bit afraid of tagging it because what if i was overstepping a boundary? but i loved it so much, and something told me that other people would love it too, so i took the risk. i'm so proud of you and your work 🥹🥹

thank you so much for the comments too 😫😫 i had one braincell left after my midterms that was thinking of scaramouche and his lore and then that happened 🫣 i was so scared of writing kazuha. i still am. he's the kind of person who i'd be intimidated by if he was real LMAO so it means the world to me to read that you think it was the best one 💕💕

about scara's part... that's why i left a warning it might be suggestive, but honestly i wasn't thinking in that direction 😅 my thought process was more along the lines of him having power over the reader, something he enjoys and craves imo, and one of the most sensitive (and dangerous) parts of the body to have exposed to someone else is the neck. there's a whole anatomical explanation for this but eh 🤷😂

about diluc: same 😂😂😂 i literally wrote the image that popped up in my head. and your comment about kaeya's is spot on 😉😉 especially considering how many secrets that man keeps. idk how he survives honestly.

getting a message from you always puts a smile in my face!! also i'll be posting my replies to your previous asks on sunday - i'm doing research for a presentation i have on monday and slowly working through them. the grind doesn't stop after midterm week 🥹

see you soon!! 💕

#—new mail ! #—the burrow's 🍰 #your birthday gift is also almost done ehe #also there's a part two for my latest work that i've already outlined #if any of these interest you ofc 👀

[astrojoy]

Heyyy sweet little thing! How are you doing?<3 I don’t believe I asked a question from you before unless it was for a game so I’m happy to be here! I was wondering if it’s okay to ask about a couple of my placements if that’s alright:) I saw you talking about the scorpio sun and moon person and I wanted to say your explanation was amazing! My sister is a scorpio sun and my other sister has a scorpio moon yet they still experience some of those things, I feel like if they were combined into one person then that would just be super intense- I mean my little sister is already like that and she’s always getting into trouble.. She has a scorpio stellium with an aries rising and leo moon😂// Okay i got completely off topic sorry!!! I wanted to ask what your opinion is about my pisces sun/moon ( they are both in my 1st house )

THANK YOU FOR TAKING THE TIME TO READ THIS LOVELY! PLEASE TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF

Oml your sisters are so interesting. Absolutely amazing Lmao. All that scorpio energy in the household tho 😳

Also you're completely fine! I enjoyed reading about it, thank you for giving me some feedback on it with your siblings! 🥺💖

ALSO OML FR??? DANG I LOVE YOUR PLACEMENTS? AMAZING 🥳🥳🥳

Okidoke let's get back on track- 🥰🌈

So Pisces is a very fluid water placement just like the scorpio from before. However Pisces has a more foggy kind of feel. Pisces tend to be in their heads very often.

With Pisces in the rising, sun and moon, you might appear aloof to some people. By this I mean, let's say you were sitting on a park bench just watching nature and stuff, you could seem really dreamy and like your always thinking

For some older people or lovers you could also appear perhaps naive. Even though Pisces is a wise placement, it also carries illusion. Pisces being a very sweet, kind person can also have rose colored glasses sometimes

Neptune is a very important planet in your chart. Even though it is known as a generational planet just like pluto was for the person before, personally Neptune could show you where a part of your life is important

Since you are a Pisces rising with your moon and sun. Neptune may also tell more about your looks. Since it's Pisces ruler. The house could point to some common characteristics that people may perceive of you as having. Also pay attention to the 12th!!

Sun and moon in Pisces, you are very balanced first off. Second off you could definitely be into the arts of some kind. I've noticed people with Pisces placements tend to like to draw, sing, create (DIY) , sleep, write poems, and even meditate

You can heal people quite easily when they need it and could often be the knight and shining armor people look for. This can also be kinda detrimental though, pisces are big empaths, they suck up, the energy around them. Maybe not environmental like a cancer as much like spiritual energy. Spirits could be drawn to you. And you could honestly tap into your inner medium psychic side if you wanted to. It's a gift!

You could also have beautiful eyes. I've noticed Pisces remind me of a fawn or deer for some reason. Also I've seen a lot have smile eyes when they laugh or smile really big, but that could or could not resonate it just depends. Your feet could be prominent in some way. Since it's moon in the 1st, assuming you are a female, your breasts might be smaller or larger and your head could be round

You could dress more conservative as well. Pisces ruler is 12th, 12th house is very foggy and also mysterious. You probably give off enigma vibes!

Either way people definitely get a very caring, helpful energy from you when you are around. If you have blue eyes, I've noticed when Pisces who do have them, they tend to shine beautifully. You could also be petite or have soft skin. Woman usually have this but genes play a big role too. You could be short too. 12th house is a very unknown territory so many things can happen 😂

You could be really good at lucid dreaming or astral projecting if you really tried and got into it. It would be much easier learned than most 💖

Also lastly you could come off as shy 🥺 it's a very sweet vibe but Pisces can listen more than they speak (unless other placements say otherwise) I would also say you probably are into aesthetic clothes. You could stick out because of this if you do perhaps buy some and style yourself in such a way 🥳

Have a beautiful day Angel!! ˙˚ʚ(´◡`)ɞ˚˙

@angellkisses ALSO BY RISING I MEANT THE 1ST. IK YOU ONLY SAID FIRST HOWEVER I JUST INCLUDED IT AS RISING BECAUSE IT'S IN THE 1ST AND MAKES AN IMPRESSION WHVDIAHSWOHD LOVE YA!!

[golbrocklovely]

I always forget about Colourpop! Everybody was all about them one day and now I never hear about them, same with Makeup Geek. I've always wanted to try them. Those books sound cool, especially "There's Someone Inside Your House" I'll have to look into that one.

The only song I think I have saved from Colby's playlist is @ my worst by blackbear, which I don't know if he actually added that song or if heardwell did but it really sounds like his tweets put into a song lmaooo

Favorite Disney Channel original movie is tied between Princess Protection Program and High School Musical. Both because I have vivid memories of when they premiered. For HSM I can literally see myself sitting in the middle of the livingroon floor watching it and for Princess Protection Program I remember I was sleeping over my aunts house when it came out, my cousins and I were sleeping on an air mattress trying to count how many times they said Princess because they had that contest 😂😂😂

And Halloween original is without a doubt Halloweentown. I mean it is a cult classic for any late 90s early 2000s kid.

I'd rather have Colby's closet, he's got the more edgier style that I'm into. I really want those nike sneakers he has with the bandanas! I'm not gonna lie though I've really been feeling Sam's style lately. He's really stepped up his game.

Conspiracy theories give me anxiety 🤣🤣🤣 I think the extent of conspiracies that I can handle is the Mandela effect (if that even is a conspiracy theory lol) also do aliens count as a conspiracy??

What season best fits your personality and why? If SNC were in front of you right now, what is one question you've been dying to ask them? What's one thing that takes up too much if your time?

i still hear about colourpop all the time. makeup geek, different story lol

i recommended there's someone inside your house ! it was such a good read. i had to read it all in one sitting bc i just couldn't put it down.

you know what's funny, one time i thought about putting some of colby's tweets into a poem or a song bc of how they read lol but yeah there are couple songs i've heard that sound like something he would tweet.

omg hsm was my shit at one point. even my choir back in 5th grade sang songs from it and i had troy's part in breaking free lmao i will say tho hsm 2 is superior in my eyes.

my favorite dcom growing up was the thirteenth year and camp rock lol and then halloween themed, i mean, halloweentown is great and i do love that movie, but my favorite has to go to phantom of the megaplex. no one talks about that movie enough.

colby's closet is really nice. but i'm starting to think that colby is rubbing off on sam bc sam's style is like a mix of edger clothes mixed with preppy. and i'm all about it highkey.

omg same. i don't really like conspiracy theories, but i think some of them can be really interesting. mandela effects i think fall into conspiracies so yeah. those are weird to me, bc i feel like maybe our memories aren't as strong as we think and in reality instead of admitting that you're not remembering correctly, you're just double down for prideful reasons lol

i would say fall matches my personality more. i'm into spooky stuff, and the general color scheme of fall is kinda my aesthetic to some extent.

oh my god i have so many questions for them. but if i had to ask one where they had to be 100% honest with me, i would love to know what happened with metalife. why did they shut it down? what happened behind the scenes that caused it to be shut down? i just need to know honestly.

highkey, i hate how long showering takes for me. it usually takes me 20-30 mins to shower. even when i go fast, i'm still 15-20. like, if i could constantly just be clean... that would be great.

questions: what's your favorite drink (alcoholic and non-alcoholic), last tv show/movie you watched (and was it good), where do you buy most of your clothes from?

#ask #personal

[louvelylouis]

what do you like most about your school? I miss mine sometimes. well, bc of my undergraduate course,I should say philosophy or sociology, but I loved history and literature. the subject I hated the most was chemistry 💀 and you? what subject you hate the most? well, I tried to write more and you? no, I didn't read it yet, but I really want to. what are your favourite books? I think it was when I was ten or eleven or maybe before. I always loved to read yk? but I don't remember exactly when

aha yeah im sure i’d miss mine after 12th too :( well, i think i like everything about it. except for the exams, that is! the studying part is fine too lol. me and my classmates are basically crackheads. and i can make friends quite easily so i guess i miss the goofy memories i had with all of them.

i like literature too :) ooh im not a big fan of chem either but i hate biology more... i just don’t vibe with it rip. 

i’ve been writing too, poems. eh that’s what i do normally anyway lmao. not much of a hobby i guess, but i did get into some awesome shows. and i think im getting back to art (i abandoned it last year yikes). and i might start playing a sport. seems like i’ve only gathered the motivation to initiate hobbies 😂. but i guess that’s not too bad, since i’ve been sulking for half of the year.

well, my fav books keep on changing. and i haven’t read one in a while but if i had to choose then it’d probably be Red, White and Royal Blue. Aristotle and Dante Discover the Secrets of the Universe is one of my all-time faves too tho. and ofc, Percy Jackson is the most precious series for me haha.

do u have any plans for christmas? if u celebrate it, that is :)

#secret santa 2020

[reshiiii]

Helloo!!! Beatrix Potter, Edna St. Vincent Millay, John William Polidori? Have a nice day!!! 🌸🌼💐🏵️💐🌸🏵️💐🌸

Beatrix Potter: do you like reading inside or outside?

If the weather is good, I like to read in our garden (and the outdoor cats will almost always come to cuddle :3:3), but I usually fall asleep if I'm laying on the sun 😅

John William Polidori: What was the last book you finished?

It was either Fahrenheit 451 or Jozova Hanule and I can't say which one for sure. I think it was Jozova Hanule. (pls go read it it's so good. And if you're there, go read Smrť sa volá Engelchen. It's 👌🏻👌🏻)

Edna St. Vincent Millay: Do you have a favorite poem or one you can recite?

You're in for an answer way longer than you wanted. So. Žltá Ľalia, Mor ho (+ sprostonárodné verzie, ofc), I think everyone knows there. Oh, and Marína. But!

Je miesto, tam, kde chodník končí sa,

a skôr ako sa začne ulica,

kde rastie tráva, bielučká a mäkká,

a prúdi slnka šarlátová rieka,

kde mesačný vták po ďalekom lete

si odpočinie vo vánku a mäte.

- Shel Silverstein

It was featured in one of my favorite books (Inkheart) and I just hold it dear even if I've grown out of the book.... I should reread it...

I love Mr. Koza's translation of To his mistress going to bed (John Donne). He recited it on Zabudnuté remeslá (medieval craft festival, last summer) and it was beautiful. The original is way too.... rough? The translation was just better imo, sorry

Then ofc there's Jorge Manrique and Coplas a la muerte de su padre (so good), Mientras po competir by Góngora, GUSTAVO ADOLFO BÉCQUER so good. LXVI is a must. Bujías and Para vivir no quiero by Pedro Salinas. Federico García Lorca!!!!! Romance de la pena negra, Verde que te quiero verde! El Romancero gitano!!! Si mi voz muriera en tierra and Los ángeles muertos by Rafael Alberti. Luis Cernuda! Si el hombre pudiera decir lo que ama! Donde habite el olvido! (that's.... Bécquer and Carnuda, 2in1) I like these and many, many more.

And the soliloquio de Segismundo from La vide es sueño. That one I know from memory.

I live and breathe for some of the slam poems and the works of my friends (so!!!! Good!!!! Unbelievable!!!! Just. So good. Much wow.)

I can recite only a hanful, like those I've already said, Mrcina and maybe some of my own works, but we're not going to talk about those👌🏻

THANK YOU for asking and hope you have a nice day! 🍃

#ask #marsecsip #tho i love some parts of my 'poems' 😂