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#tho its debatable if he gets any sugar
the-pigeon-queen · 2 years
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Just a very self indulgent Halloween comic from my Shadi Lives AU :]
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nightowlfandom · 3 years
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Min Yoongi- Humiliation Looks Good On You
Hey there! SO ANON ASKS
Hi I want to make a request with the prompts 10, 109, 110 with Yoongi please. I have a story in mind. Yoongi is a pretentious nerd, the best in college but also has some kind of hate relationship with y/n he really makes sure to make her feel humiliated cuz he gets turned on by doing it. but then he tries to make a move on her. Thank you.
So y’all just wanna be bullied by Yoongi, now? Ight bet! Damn Masochists! I like it tho-I’m assuming you want a happy ending to this, so that’s what I’ll be doing.
10-  I think I’ll keep you as a pet! You’re fun to mess with.
109-  Are you crying because of me? Hm…I didn’t realize I have that effect on you.
110-  That’s daddy to you, sweetheart.
CHECKOUT MY MASTERLIST HERE!
Leggo!
Also hi yes, I used the name is kpop stars for your friends names,
Also humiliation, daddy stuff...IF ANYONE TREATS YOUY LIKE THIS YOU BETTER BREAK THEIR FUCKING FACE I SWEAR TO-
 ...
“Hey guys!” You greeted your friends as your rushed into the classroom. 
“Hey babe!” Momo waved you over. “We saved you a seat! Irene was just telling us about her date last night!”
“Thanks.” You acknowledged Lisa and Hyuna who were also sitting. “What’s up?”
“Hyuna decided to be a mom and ruin my date!” Irene scoffed. “She scared him off!”
“You’ll thank me.” Hyuna waved her off, not bothered in the slightest.
“Sure.” Irene shook her head. Everyone laughed while you mustered up a sideways smile. “Y/N? Everything okay?”
“Oh..Y-yeah!” you shrugged. “I’m alright.”
“Bullshit.” Lisa scoffed. “I saw her hiding from Min and his cronies.” 
“Min Yoongi?” Momo asked. “He’s still bothering you?”
“No! You guys it isn’t like that!”
Oh yes it was. The college golden boy who was both an academic genius and promising young performer. He thought because he was intelligent that everyone was beneath him. His plan A and plan B would more than likely workout. 
“Y/N, do you need us to-”
“No!” You cut Hyuna off. “Don’t get involved or you’ll make it worse. Can’t we talk about the party tonight?”
“Ah, the biggest turn-up of the year!” Irene danced in her seat. “I have the entire house for the weekend.” 
You, Hyuna, Lisa, Irene, and Momo were someone of the popular (but also super kind) girls. Every Semester you all hosted a party. You guys were notorious for throwing the best parties and this semester was no different. 
“This is gonna go down in history!” Lisa smirked at the thought. “But if that tool starts something-”
Lisa didn’t like Yoongi....Lisa despised him with a passion. Mostly because he bullied you so much.
“Namjoon said that he’d behave.” Hyuna sighed. “Don’t know how much that means to you babe.” she put a hand on your shoulder. 
“Speak of the devil.” Momo sighed, staring at the door. 
Everyone knew than Yoongi tormented you. There was an endless array of mixed reactions.
“Hey Y/N.”
Don’t answer, don’t answer, don’t answer.
“Yo, leave her alone.” Hyuna warned. 
“You gonna let your friends fight your battles?”
That alone made you whip your head around. “I don’t let anyone fight my battles!” you snapped, drawing the attention.
Before anything could go down, the teacher came inside.
“Hello class! Can anyone tell me what we were focused on last class?”
“We were getting into cliches and niches in romance novels.” You answered aloud. “We were talking about the Bully to Lover Archetype.”
“Very good Y/N.” the teacher praised you. “Now can someone tell me why we- and I would like to hear from the women on this...Why do you as women hate such a stigma.”
Your hand instantly shot in the air. “Yes Y/N?”
“Because it promotes the stigma that if a boy or man bullies you, it’s because he likes you. Which is extremely toxic to those with love self esteem because it makes them feel like they have to be ridiculed to be loved.” you said. “In my opinion any man who feels the need to degrade a woman is festering garbage.”
“Hm, interesting! Yes Mr.Min did you have something you wanted to add?”
“Yes, what my dear acquaintance Y/N fails to realize is most women actually like being teased-”
“Teased, not tormented you imbecile.” you snapped your head in Yoongi’s direction.
“Unless she’s a masochist.” he winked at you knowingly. ‘We don’t know why the male characters bully the females.”
“Because they have nothing better to do!” you replied as calmly as you could.
“...Well, women love the bad boys.”
“Women. Love. Respect.” you seethed.
“OOh a spicy debate!” the teacher noticed the tension. “In a way, you two are very similar to the characters we will be discussing!”
“Huh?” you turned back towards the teacher.
“Yes! The male bullied the female out of jealousy and spite and the female who is very outspoken, doesn’t allow herself to be insulted.”
“Out of spite, maybe. Jealousy, never.” Yoongi laughed.
What a smug bastard.
...(Later in another class) 
“Good going Y/N” Yoongi walked up to your table where you were sitting with your friends. “Now the teacher thinks we have something going on.”
“None of that is my problem...mkay?” you raised an eyebrow. “Any other stupid comments and or questions you have for me?”
“Sure.” Yoongi scoffed. “Is it true that you had to work at one of those sleazy bars to pay off your student debts?”
“So what if she did?” Lisa seethed.
“Hm, maybe if she was smarter she could have gotten a scholarship. Unless the superintendent is one of her sugar daddies.” He laughed. “It’s amazing what some people will do for money So is it cash or connection?.”
That comment made everyone fall silent.
“You don’t know me Yoongi.”
“Oh but I do. That’s why you’re my pet...Do you want me to keep you as a pet, Y/N?”
“No.” your voice wavered. 
“Are you crying because of me? Hm…I didn’t realize I have that effect on you. “
Yes, you had to work in a shitty bar as a waitress on some days and a bartender on other days. It wasn’t because you liked the attention. It was because those dirt-bags tipped you just for winking in their direction and you needed to pay off your debts.
But to insinuate that you had a sugar daddy....not that you judged anyone who did...the way he meant it...most likely meant something completely different.
“THAT’S IT!” Hyuna lunged from her seat and attempted to jump at Yoongi, age be damned. “IRENE LET ME FUCKING AT HIM.”
You didn’t notice the tears streaming down your face. In the midst of every boy in the classroom attempting to calm Hyuna down, you rose to your feet and exited the classroom. As soon as you were far enough, you bolted down the halls. 
You kicked open the doors to the school and ran home. You would face the consequences later.
...(Meanwhile, back at school)
“Hey! I was just joking!” Yoongi burst out laughing.
“Not to us, it isn’t!” Momo barked, her bubbly and cheerful spirit was gone. “Y/N is struggling to make ends meet as it is and she doesn’t need you COMMENTING ON IT!”
“Not to mention, she’s one of the smartest girls in school!” Lisa sneered. “I bet she’d score circles around you if you actually looked at her test scores.”
“Its bad enough she won’t let us help her out, but now she sure as hell won’t let us help her now, no thanks to you!” Irene sighed. 
“Oh Come on! You guys act like Y/N is some Miss Perfect!” Yoongi crossed his arms. “Is she really all that great?”
“If she wasn’t, why would you waste your time trying to bully her?” Hyuna finally calmed down. “You’re lucky that you’re friends with my boyfriend or else I swear you wouldn’t set foot at any of our parties.”
“Maybe the teacher was right. You’re just so jealous that Y/N wouldn’t give you the time of day that you turned to making fun of her to stroke your disgusting guy ego.” Momo crossed your arms. “I’m gonna go after her, she probably went home.”
“I’ll come with.” Lisa rose to her feet.
“I’ll get you guys the homework.” Irene nodded the two friends off. “And make sure Hyuna doesn’t kill someone.”
Momo and Lisa ran out of the school while Yoongi was standing there dumbstruck. For the first time, he was speechless.
...
“You guys, I really don’t wanna be here.” you sighed as the loud music deafened you and everyone within a five foot radius. “I don’t really wanna party...”
“You’re one of the hosts!” Irene sighed. “Enjoy your night! Come on! I heard Seokjin was just waiting to dance with you!”
Seokjin, the beautiful teaching assistant that any girl would kill to get their hands on. University life...Speaking of which, he must of sensed you were thinking of him because he sauntered over looking handsome as ever. He stared at you, a warm and friendly smile gracing his angelic face.
“Hey Y/N.” he smiled. “You look great.”
“Oh...Thank you Jin!” you smiled. 
“I’ll leave you two to it.” Irene nudged you before sauntering off, belting the song at the top of her lungs. “WHOSE READY TO PARTY!”
You were left with Jin who was smiling knowingly at you. “Hey...I heard about today.”
“I don’t have a sugar daddy and I am NOT a sleaze!” you cut him off sharply. “If that’s what you’re here for, then-”
“Hey Y/N!” he put his hands up in defense. “I was just gonna say what he said about you wasn’t cool at all. Everyone is giving him hell for it.”
“Oh...thanks I guess. Sorry.” you looked down sheepishly.
“Hey...You wanna dance?” Jin motioned over to the dancefloor. He noticed your hesitance. “Come on...it’ll be fun. If anyone gives you trouble, just focus on me.”
You nodded, allowing a smile to cross your face again. You grabbed his hand and ran over to the dancefloor.
From a distance, Yoongi was watching. He was drinking a beer. He glared potholes at Seokjin who had his arms protectively wrapped around your waist. You looked genuinely happy. It made him mad. Since when and why were you and him so chummy?
He decided to do something about it, so he put his drink down and marched over. 
“Yo! Jin! Hyuna said she needed your help with something school related.” he made up some lame excuse. Knowing Jin, he’d probably believed it anyways.
“Oh...Okay. Be right back Y\N!” he smiled at you which you returned. Your smiled was quickly replaced with a frown when Yoongi and you were left alone. He perked up an eyebrow and held out his hand.
You would have slapped it away, but Promiscuous By Nelly Furtado suddenly began playing. 
“Come on....” he winked. You begrudgingly took his only only to be yanked towards him. Unlike Seokjin, when he wrapped his arms around you it feel uneasy.
“ I think I’ll keep you as a pet! You’re fun to mess with. “ he whispered in your ear. His body felt hard and cold, yet you moved so effortlessly with him. 
“I’m nobody’s pet.” you snapped. 
“You’re mine.” he leaned forward and whispered in your ear. “Otherwise you would have killed me by now.”
“Still debating.” you laughed dryly. “You’ll always be a pain in my ass...”
 You broke away from his embrace to dance on your own. Working at a bar, the other girls taught you how to dance. The only positive to come out of working at a shithole like that, plus the tips you got just for smiling at someone. Yoongi took note of this. What happened to the timid little victim he loved to poke fun at.
You almost looked like you could hold your own.
“GO Y/N!” Momo yelled while dancing with her own date. 
As you turned back around, getting closer to Yoongi again, your eyes met. Things fell silent between you two as you took a step back. You had to get out of there before you did something you would regret. 
You wound up running into a random room in the mansion, struggling for air. Absolutely not! No way! You were not falling for Yoongi.
“Jin is so kind and sweet and Yoongi is the reason I don’t wanna go to school. Hell no.” you seethed.
“Is that how you feel?”
Yoongi stood at the door, raising an eyebrow at you. 
“Yes! I hate you!” you could feel everything welling up inside you as you met his gaze again. “I hate you so much that I wish you would-”
“Wish I would what? Drop dead? Drop out of school, leave you alone?” he cut you off with a harsh tone. “Tell me how you really feel!”
“Make your move or shut the fuck up!” you gave your answer.
You knew good and well Yoongi had a reason for doing this, you just figured you would give it your best guess. This caused Yoongi to raise an eyebrow. You almost regretted opening your mouth when Yoongi stormed over and grabbed you by the waist. He crashed his mouth over yours, claiming you in a kiss.
You felt him tangle your hair in his fist, keeping you in place. You tangled your hands in his hair.
Imagine, the schools bully and the girl he’s tormented since he met her, in such a compromising position.
You were two focused on Yoongi pinning you to the bed to worry about it though. 
“You are such a-”
“ Ah ah ah~...That’s daddy to you, sweetheart.”
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could you do 2p allies with a like really tall s/o, tall women don’t get enough love🥺🥺🥺🥺
i love your writing btw❤️❤️❤️
LEG
2p America: “Woah there...I don’t remember ordering such a tall glass of water~”. Allen is in love, no really he’s just 🥰. Deadass always hits on s/o with height pick up lines even though s/o’s already his girlfriend- (ask him to stop dw he will). Hand holding is required in large crowds because he gets really lost sometimes and s/o is a good landmark. CLIMBS s/o or completely yeets them down for a kiss 90% of the time. Whats that? Did Allen hear someone shit talking his s/o’s height? teehee. ON HIS LIFE HE WANTS THE SMOKE, HE WILL CURB STOMP ANY DUMBASS THAT SAYS SHIT ABOUT HIS BABYGORL DAMMIT. He fucking adores his s/o’s height in everyway and as far as he’s concerned they’re one of the only important people in his world, so if you got something to say? get ready to fight.
2p England: “Love could you grab that batch of sugar for me out of the pantry?”. He’s taking advantage out of it and honestly can we blame this short stack?? Brings you every where just incase he needs you to grab something too high for him. Fully expects his s/o to carry him around whenever he just decides to sit on their lap and never move-. Did I mention he is the most compliant arm rest? He’ll seriously sit for a long ass time for his s/o to lean against. you may forget he’s there. “stoP SLOUCHING love :>” his s/o will never slouch again seriously he’s so strict about it-. Your reward for not slouching are hugs and kisses. That being said yall will be kissing and he’ll just j u m p and wrap his legs around his s/o and you may both fall-. He does it every time and at this point s/o thinks he’s trying to get them crashing down to the ground. He is
2p Canada: “Can we- *cough* ahem, can you......canwepleasecuddleandcanIbethelittlespoonliketwice”-. He’s all shy and blushy and shit d’aww. Matt loves feeling big and all ofc and yes he is manly forest man...HOWEVER, he likes  to feel regular sized every so often ya know? even if s/o’s like a lil shorter than him he’s so happy. He’s still carrying his s/o around and setting them on his lap 75% of the time cause he doesn’t c a r e if she’s an i n c h taller than him. genuinely thinks his s/o is gorgeous so yeah he stares a l o t.
2p France: *glances at legs* damn you’re so f i n eeee. K he didn’t say that, out loud, but its what he’s thinking aight? He likes the height and Franc really do be a leg man so his eyes will linger on those luxurious pillars. His s/o won’t notice tho, he kind of admires them discreetly so they don’t feel self conscious. He rents and owns private seating's for operas and other events like it for his s/o to sit in peace. On the off chance that Francois can’t rent out private seating he’s like “yeah lmao, what was I thinking? lemme call the manager and just rent the place out XD”. He really just wants to see his precious queen happy.
2p China: *jumps on back*. Prepare to be attacked all the damn time. ofc he’ll offer piggy back rides back but he’s gonna latch on first. Most of your shirts and stuff are gone btw, he’s keeping them hostage and no you won’t ever see them again unless he has them on. S/o is his full body pillow now, there's no debate. daily compliments about how beautiful his s/o is, especially in the height department. KISS HIS FOREHEAD PLEASE WHENEVER YOU CAN HE’LL SMOTHER YOUUU.
2p Russia: *BLUSHES EVERYTIME HE LOOKS TO THE SIDE AND SEE’S S/O’S FACE BECAUSE HE’S NEVER HAD TO NOT LOOK DOWN BEFORE*. So Vik at l e a s t 6 feet tall and he’s ecstatic about this-. he doesn’t have to break his back to get a kiss? He doesn’t have to sit in the back of the movie theater alone?? BRUV HE’S FINNA START CRYING. You guys can run into door frames together now how romantic~. Knows where to buy NICE and fashionable tall girl clothing dw. will help with slouching, and gives great massages for sudden bacc pains.
Aight yalls, as you can see the bois love themselves a tall waman. These are a lil exaggerated, the boys probably wouldn’t treat their tall s/o’s too differently from how they would treat any other type of s/o, the height just adds more for them to love on :>.
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trollcafe · 3 years
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🤍 Punkdrunk time, love me those bois!!
ITS REAL PUNKDRUNK HOURS
Who cooks meals for the other?
Ronnie’s idea of Cooking is 90% some form of scrambled eggs. Scrambled eggs are easy, cheap, and he’s able to spice them up a lot w various veggies. He’d probably spook Roco if he saw Ronnie cooking, Ronnie does end up touching the pan w his hands a lot. He can’t see the pan, so he has to feel the heat. So tl;dr Roco probably does the cooking.
Who spams the other with memes?
Siroco would 100% describe different memes to Ronnie. Or Ronnie would send him videos with funny audio. Rick roll him at least twice a week.
Who likes to tidy around the house?
Roco might be more inclined to tidy up than Ronnie. Ronnie has routines, ie he always takes his shoes off by the door so he knows where they are. He does tend to leave things on tables and such! Adhd = out of sight out of mind; except ronnie is blind its all out of sight.
Who likes to play pranks on the other?
Ronnie tries but his pranks are not very good :/ he prefers others pranking him because they get a laugh out of it and he likes making others happy.
Who asked the other to move in with them?
Ronnie would probably ask Roco to stay the day, except he keeps asking every single night until Rocos been there for a week.
Who is in charge of the music during a car ride?
Ronnie cannot drive so he must be the passenger tho he’d probably let Roco play whatever he liked.
Who is more likely to tickle the other mercilessly?
Ronnie doesn’t tickle Roco but he WILL zerbert/raspberry his stomach for revenge. Boyfriend is not paying enough attention to him. That means, its time to zerbert his neck.
Who needs to hold the other during scary movies?
Ronnie will hold Siroco no matter what, tho horror movies arent necessary for that.
Who has to help the other when it comes to technology?
Roco is smarter w technology! Tho debatable bcos he is part of the band that tried to print braille on a normal printer. Ronnie even when he could see didnt understand technology much.
Who likes to get a bit frisky in public / an inappropriate setting?
:3c eheh Ronnie probably hit thats as far as ill go into it on this blog
Who wakes up first, and do they wake up the other or let them rest?
Ronnie sometimes wakes up early but he won’t move if Roco is touching him or holding onto him. Gotta let the bf snooze.
Who is always taking pictures of the other when they aren’t looking?
Ronnie is blind, so you can safely say that he is never looking.
Who always forgets their wallet and never ends up paying for anything?
Ronnie probably insists on paying for most things bcos he IS technically a high(er) blood and has a comfortable wage. He’ll try to buy Roco whatever he needs. Not in a sugar daddy way, Ron just wants his bf to be comfortable and happy :(
Who can’t sleep because the other snores or moves too much at night?
Ronnie does not move a lot during the night! He sometimes has trouble sleeping because of migraines, and sometimes his eyes have some kinda phantom pains. But he can also sleep thru a tornado. No snores….sometimes if hes dreaming he’ll make lil sounds like lil yips. His tail nubbin or ears will move. Sorry Roco ur getting disturbed bcos dog bf is dreaming abt squirrels.
Who is better at video games, and do they let the other win or show no mercy?
Siroco is 100% better at games and i doubt he would show any mercy
Who always gets up in the middle of the night to use the restroom and accidentally wakes up the other?
Ronnie would rather suffer, especially if Siroco was cuddling w him?? Hello he is NOT a monster!!! His short bf is using his tiddies are pillows his bladder can WAIT.
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riskeith · 3 years
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happy weekend dearest!
other than the snow angels, i haven’t done much.,, just been cozying it up with coffee and blankets at home hehe. 30 degrees... amazing. ideal feeling like a rotisserie chicken weather. 😌 bc of global warming we’ve been having some great summers these past few years. it even gets to 30 degrees as well which was unheard of tbh.
you’re so cute for caring ilysm <3 and aaa! a walk! do you have any perticular place you enjoy walking to or does the winds guide you, hehe? EDITING A FIC... 👀 i’m looking respectfully...... 👀 wait did the event open up for you already? i tried to play it earlier today but it wasn’t there yet... the lost riches one right?
bennett is best boy i still can’t believe it either!!! he’s seriously the cutest he just makes me so happy. when i need to explore and run around i always run with him bc i love his lines so much. what a bebie. you should go for it there are still some days left! + he’s a four star so he’s easier to get. GUOBA IS SO FUNNY he’s just.... a little fucking bear i can’t stop laughing... tbh the little creatures like amber’s bunny too just 😭 have you seen those yt clips of them dancing? obsession..
i need to ask you this bc when i found out i lost my mind: did you know that the japanese va for razor is also the va for tsukishima (haikyuu) and shigaraki (bnha)???? insane!!! it made me consider switch to japanese dub tbh.. which dub do you use?
maybe i’ll send you a little part and you can read or something shdkdhskdjdjf help 😳 it’s not edited or anything so it might take a while plus i’m super into writing bnha these days so.... but hey if You have any prompts you want to read maybe i’ll write a drabble for you. i don’t mind at all! <33333 ask for anything!!
(FIC-COLLAB!!:!/$:)!:&//&/!$:’sidnd HELP.... omg what kind of fic would we write....?)
exactly! i think when you realize that there’s nothing keeping you there anymore that brings you joy, that’s when you need to step back. social media is a bit fucked up that way imo. like you want to be there to be informed and to have fun but it takes so much.. hm. also you always tell me this but i wanna tell you to that YOU are the reason i enjoy social media these days so.. thank you <3
you relate to bakugou and lance? that’s super hot of you.. 🥵 my wifey is a self assured, super intense and talented person.. couldn’t ask for better tbh. i think out of them both i’m pretty much like todoroki.. we’re super similar in so many ways now that i think about it shsjdhdhdj.. how about we just stay c.r and m.a our dynamic is perfect as is LMAO
DOUBLE VENTI! I’D LOOOOVE THAT FOR US. bow users are difficult indeed but venti is one of the easier bow users it feels like... idk watching others game play he doesn’t have as much pushback as say amber for example. 12K PRIMOGEMS..... babe you’re getting your xiao!!!!!! how long have you been saving? also i seriously don’t mind if it comes down to it hakshddkhd i can be your genshin sugar mommy... ;) imagine a c6 venti though that seems insane. literal insanity.
SPEAKING OF SHIPPING.... THE POST YOU POSTED... THEY STOLE OUR IDEA AND IT LOOKS SO CUTE AND ITS CHONGYUN AND XINGYUN WHICH IS EVEN BETTER... THEY LOOK SOOOOO CUTE TOGETHER I’M OBSESSEDDDDD!!!! <3333 dude idk how but we are doing that co-op date somehow i’m super inspired i want that for us so badly... (also i need to say smth... my love language is when people say ‘i thought of you when i...’ and the fact that you said that just hsjdfhjdjdksk shit)
actually you’re right.. the only way we’d get a sequel is if they did something with the mfe fighters.. like kinkade james veronica nadia and ina. idk how attractive that would be tho...
i’m a lady, my dearest *dips* no but my pronouns are she/her!! sorry i didn’t mention it before i thought i made it clear shsjsjdkdj. ty for asking tho ♥️ super sweet!
AAA!!!!!!!!!! EEE!! i’m super super excited. if it’s like,, too public and you don’t just wanna post it i might think about exposing myself or smth... if that would make you more comfy. no matter what you do i’m just gonna be here buzzing, *hinata voice* one more one more one more.
oh!! i listen to everything but kpop sjdjdkdhdk i did have a semi-phase around like 2014-19 ish but dropped it pretty hard . now i have no clue what goes on there anymore i mostly enjoy rnb indie n rap/hip.. my gay ass was considering making a little playlist or smth for u but i want to make it with songs You’d like so i might pull up my old kpop faves hehe..
guess chilling is out of the question then, heh. hope you slept well!! i’m gonna try to wake up earlier so we’ll have a chance to send more messages during the weekend perhaps... mwah!!
YOURS, m.a. <3
happy weekend!!!! hope you can ease up a bit since there’s no school hehe
“feeling like a rotisserie chicken weather” FHSKFHKSDF yes!! but it honestly sucks when it gets any hotter bc we don’t have central cooling in our house so rip... and my laptop fan goes crazy ahaha. 30 degrees being unheard of.. can’t relate! fsdfjs. have you guys had to adjust to those changing temperatures? rip climate change tho :’(
<333 i do!! i usually walk to the local park and then the streets around that.. omg speaking of... do you play pokemon go? DHAFKHSDKFHSKDFHKSDH i got back into it again recently ahaha. it’s for a free bakudeku zine!! hehehe it’s out at the end of jan so 👀
i just checked and the event is open !!!!!!!!! good luck hehe !
yup lost riches!! and the event opens at 4am server time, so since i’m in asia i get it earlier hehe which colour seelie are you gonna go for tho omg i was debating it with my friend last night.. i’m gonna pick gold!!
baby bennett!! that’s true but i can’t risk getting a 5 star otherwise my pity will reset for xiao fhdskfhskjfhkjshkfj next time :(((( but albedo /is/ super pretty and i see a lot of people saying they like him... NO !!! xiao only >:( no omg i don’t think i’ve seen those clips ? is it mmd where they like dance to other songs and stuff ahah
yes i did!!!! and the VA for diluc is giorno from jjba and kuroko from knb!! omg wait and venti’s VA is hinata did you know that? fun fact i guessed it was him when i first heard his voice LOL that’s my secret talent 😩 and i use japanese dub!! i’ve considered using chinese too bc i can understand it but i just like the japanese voice actors tbh and also i can excuse it as “listening practice” AHAH
yes pls!! sending something bnha is fine too, or legit anything else lmao i’m open arms over here~~ 🤗👐 and ooft... it’s hard thinking of prompts that’s why i always ask others HSDKFJHSDKFHSD but i’ll let you know if i think of something!!!
(no clue!!!! but we could each write from a character’s POV so hopefully it’s more consistent 🤪🤪 idk i have no clue how fic collabs work AHAHA)
yeahhh one of my mutuals said “social media is a curse” and honestly hard agree.. we’re all kinda trapped in a way LMAO. and no pls don’t thank me.. you’re the one who found me first 😩💘 ily..
FSDHKJFS pls you’re making me blush come on 😳😳 but yes i love that for us... m.a. x c.r. the only valid ship 😩
woooo!!!! yeah you’re probably right, like given the fact he’s a 5 star his mechanics are probably different.. i know that diluc’s charged attack is different to the other claymore users so! IM GETTING MY XIAO!!!! and hm i’ve been saving since the middle of zhongli banner! so december 10 ish around then? dragonspine was a blessing tbh i reckon i got sooo many primogems from that. FGJKSHFKJSDHFKSDHSHKJFH my genshin sugar mummy 🥵🥵 c6 venti unstoppable..
AHAHAHA YEAH THEY LOOK /SO/ CUTE TOGETHER!!! i wonder how they got so many of the images tho like they must’ve been so in sync?!?!? ugh that could be us but no cross-server co-op be playin’.. (fhdskjfhdskjfhs um!! noted for future reference 🤪)
omg them.. i always forget about them LMAOOOOOOOOO ugh. actually i wouldn’t be mad if we got a prequel of like when keith was in the garrison... or even when shiro was with adam... ugh so much they could’ve given us and they chose not to
*waggles eyebrows* well hello there, m’lady ;) and it’s fine fhdskjf i had some inklings but didn’t wanna assume ya know? ahah :p
no!! it’s all g, i’ve thought about posting it before anyway. like, just releasing all of my WIPs and letting people do what they want with them HAAHA. (i could also just put the link under a read more and less people would see it, so it’s no biggie!) fkdshfkjs the hinata impression omg precious <33
FJHFDSKJ awks ahah which groups were you into tho! if it’s not like scarring for you to think back to LOL. and oooo i like indie too! i think.. or is it alt? honestly i don’t even know, tbh my music taste is pretty diverse and a mess, i can usually listen to a lot of things. except slow songs i don’t really like those hfdskj. and i don’t like rap too much either FHSDKJS whenever my friend gives me a rec i’m just like “oh i liked the singing parts in that” FDSKJF. a playlist tho huh 😳🥺
and pls!! if the weekend is your only chance to sleep in then do it.. for me 😩 i’ve been legit waking up at 12pm these past few days FKJHSKDF idek why like i’m sleeping 10 hours?? yikes. but as always i shall be waiting for your response <3 💌
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ununniliad · 4 years
Text
Return of Just Another Multi-Writer Cascade That Will Probably Never Have an Ending.GEKIJOBAN: "Friendgame"
The cover is a lovingly hand-painted portrait of Net.Access punching LAN.os right in the face.
----
A universe, not of hard and unyielding matter and energy, but of connection, affinity, the fundamental forces that bind people together - the Friend Zone!
And within that universe - the planet known as Rostir, home of the ghosts of millions of never-realized characters! And home to something else! Home of one of Looniverse-20's most powerful artifacts - an Absurdity Stone! In specific, guarded here is the soul of the Absurdity Stones, the mytheopeic center of everything that is the superhero genre - the Characterization Stone!
And upon that planet's misty magenta fields, beneath its violet sky with its soft robin's-egg clouds, lands the ship of - LAN.os!
The insipid purple man, fedora on his head, wearing a tailored business suit with the Crossover Queen's insignia on the lapel, walked down the ramp, followed by an average-looking, slightly slouchy black guy in a Moon Girl T-shirt, looking around and taking pictures with his phone.
"Haha!" shouted LAN.os, raising his chin, looking over the mist-covered landscape, soft like the dreams of a Lisa Frank unicorn. "Guardian! I summon you from your slumber. Awaken for LAN.os, son of the greatest warrior in the cosmos!"
The mists drew together before LAN.os, and out of them arose the shuffling, shadowy ghost of a character who never was - Ultra-Nazi-Squared, a concept for a net.villain who was dropped when the cultural view of Nazis as an easy default bad guy suddenly stopped being a Thing.
"lan.os of inferior," murmured the phantom. "you seek the stone... as have so many others... fools, all... once, i held the stone..."
"Skip the backstory, pathetic wretch, and take me to the site of my greatest victory!" LAN.os raised his fist in the air and shook it mightily.
The average-looking guy took a picture of the phantom. "This is going straight up on the Discord."
The villain-who-never-was lead them to the shore of a great lavender ocean, lapping at a beach of multicolored sugar sand. LAN.os grinned, cracking his knuckles. "Finally, my day of triumph and power approaches! Finally, the day the scales will be balanced - in favor of me!"
"Fat chance!" There was a THOOM! and water and sand sprayed up in the air as a figure landed on the beach. 
The wave crashed back down on LAN.os, who sputtered and flailed, suit and hat completely soaked. "Pff! Pfahfh! What!? Who! Who dares challenge LAN.os, second to the Crossover Queen!?"
"Who do you think, buster!?" There in the breaking tide stood a figure. She was dressed in a black catsuit with a red, blue and gold starburst on the chest and a stylish brown leather jacket with cybernetic wings on the back. On her head was a red fedora that worked a thousand times better on her, and on her hands were high-tech blue-and-silver gauntlets. She was the Keymaster of the Omnilooniverse. She was Net.Access.
"YOU!" LAN.os shook his fist at her. "Of course... I should have known you would come to oppose me!"
Net.Access shook her head dismissively. "Sorry, but I have bigger things going on. How'd you get back in the Friend Zone, tho? I figured I'd never see your weird chin here ever again."
LAN.os laughed. "Fool, I am stronger than you knew me! I have made... EXACTLY ONE FRIEND!" He grabbed the average-looking guy and squeezed him against his side. "DOUG, from the comic book store!!"
"Uh, hey." Doug wriggled in LAN.os's grip and waved to Net.Access. "Sorry about this."
She acknowledged him with a nod. "Pardon me if I don't applaud."
"Your praise is meaningless to me, so there! But I have entered the Friend Zone, and located the Characterization Stone, as part of the Crossover Queen's plan! Soon, we shall enter a great crossover, where I take my time obtaining all the Absurdity Stones, one by one, each one that I obtain bringing in at least half a billion dollars in the US, and even more worldwide! And when they are brought together, I-- I mean, she-- shall rule triumphant!" LAN.os looked around shiftily. "I'm definitely not planning to betray her. Just ask Doug!"
Doug nodded. "Yeah, totally. He comes to game nights and talks about how he's not planning to betray the Crossover Queen all the time."
"And now..." LAN.os turned toward the ocean. A great whirlpool formed on its surface, a swirling nexus ready to pull anything down into the briny depths. "The Characterization Stone requires a sacrifice! And I--" He lifted Doug up over his head, in both hands. "I shall sacrifice my exactly one friend!"
"Hey, wait wait what!" Doug squirmed around, dropping his phone in the sand. "LAN.os. Dude. We talked about this."
"Yes, Doug! I remember our great debates on the trolley problem, and my promise that I would not sacrifice any of the gamers with which we play! But you see, Doug!" LAN.os roared in triumph. "I HAD MY FINGERS CROSSED!"
Net.Access rolled her eyes, sliding her hand down her face. "Okay. Enough. Let him go."
LAN.os cackled in maniacal glee. "Now, we shall have the ultimate climactic bat--!"
Net.Access snapped her fingers and the beach underneath LAN.os turned into a quicksand trap from a 1950s adventure movie. He yelped as he was pulled down to chest level immediately. Net.Access tossed a vine to Doug and he climbed out gratefully.
"Like I said. I didn't come here to fight you." From the pocket of her jacket, Net.Access pulled a cube - or, rather, a Kube; one of the Kubrik's Kubes, once-mighty cosmic artifacts, now powerless pieces of multicolored plastic. "I came here to fix a mistake."
"Insolent woman!" LAN.os charged up his prodigious cosmic strength-- but by the laws of '50s adventure movies, flailing around only caused him to sink faster, and by the time he stopped, the quicksand was up to his shoulders. "As soon as my army--"
"You can't take an army into the Friend Zone, LAN.os, I know it's just you and Doug on an automated ship." Net.Access tossed the Kube up in the air, caught it, looking off in the distance, memories playing across the back of her eyes. "Do you remember, when we fought before?" She shook her head, laughed. "No, you wouldn't. It's not the kind of thing you pay attention to. But..."
She sighed, smiled wistfully at a happy moment. "After Victoria and I saved each other... we were talking to everybody, and I was like... well, I hope this teaches the Writers to finish what they start. And everybody agreed. But..." She shook her head. "But we were wrong. I was wrong."
"It wasn't..." Net.Access turned to look at the place the technicolor sky met the pastel sea. "It wasn't the unfinished stories that caused the rifts and put the Looniverses in danger. I thought that that's what it was, when I saw the great pattern at the heart of the cosmos, and the missing pieces that were breaking it apart. But..." She looked around, turned to Doug, just so she could have an audience who might listen. "But it wasn't the stories that hadn't been written. It was the stories that wouldn't be written. It wasn't just that the Writers weren't writing endings, they weren't writing anything. Because of guilt. Guilt over having left things half-done."
Doug nodded, eyes wide, not understanding a word, as a tide of mist rolled in from the fields and covered the beach in a whispering haze. LAN.os, nose-deep in the mist, sneezed.
"The impossible standards, the need to catch up, to..." Net.Access waved her hands in the air. "To climb a mountain when you've already fallen and hit every rock on the way down! Before you can do anything new." She sighed, taking off her hat and running her hand thru her hair. "That's how I failed Intro to Hamburgerology. Got caught on an unfinished assignment, never turned it in, stopped going to class... to be honest, I'm still not sure why they put sesame seeds on the buns."
"Uh, are you getting distracted?" asked Doug.
"My victory speech would have been a lot better," grumbled LAN.os. "It would have had lots of references to famous European philosophers. Sounded really smart."
"Right. Anyway, what I'm saying is, me and the whole narrative around the rift crisis might've made things worse." The wings on Net.Access's back started fluttering, and she rose up in the air. "So I decided to do what I could to fix things. To be honest, I was already in the Friend Zone before I sensed you coming. You're not what I came here for at all."
LAN.os snorted, turning his head away. "Humph! Women and their easy excuses..."
Doug sighed. "Did you even read the 'feminism 101' articles I kept linking you?"
"I... I skimmed them, I swear!"
Net.Access rose up over the whirlpool. "To summon the Characterization Stone..." She held out the Kube in front of her. "I summon our future." She closed her eyes. "The future where all those long-forgotten stories would be finally finished. Where everything that we hoped to see flashed before our eyes in a perfect moment. Where we could resolve everything, once and for all, and seal it with a perfect 'The End'."
The Kube began to glow, softly at first, then coruscating with silvery color, filling with the energies of dream and desire. "Once, I sacrificed a perfect, finished past for an unbounded future, bright with possibility. Now, I sacrifice a perfect, finished future, so that that unbounded possibility may be accessible to all, each day free of the guilt of ages, each day open and new!"
Net.Access lifted the Kube over her head, and the mist rose up from the beach, up from the magenta fields, up towards her. As the mist rose, it spiraled around itself, became a solid shape, like a tornado in reverse.
The tip of the tornado slammed into the Kube. It shook, and Net.Access held on with both hands, brows knitting as a torrent of unrealized possibility streamed recklessly in, the silver light brighter and brighter with each moment until it was eye-searing.
Net.Access lowered the Kube, holding it out before her, directly over the maw of the whirlpool. "I release the Writers! I release the plots! I release the guilt! I..." Her hand opened. "Release!" 
The Kube fell, tumbling end-over-end until it disappeared into the churning sea.
The whirlpool collapsed in on itself, and a column of light burst from the water. In the middle of that column was a fist-sized hunk of ruby, unfinished but scintillating with crimson light.
Net.Access reached out. Lighting crackled from the surface of the ruby into her outstretched hand, and she flinched, and turned her head away, eyes closed. But when she looked back, her eyes were glowing red, and her hand closed around the Characterization Stone.
"NO!" yelled LAN.os. "That was a meaningless sacrifice! Something you valued for the wrong reasons - something you had to let go of for your own good!"
Net.Access smirked, fedora perfectly perched on her head, eyes bright with the light of the Stone. "That's the most meaningful sacrifice you can make." She held the Stone in the air, pointing into the sky. "Let the wheels of characterization, stopped so long ago, grind into action once more! CHARACTEEEEEER... GRAND GROWTH!!"
Crimson lightning crackled around the Stone, around her body, and shot into the sky-- slamming against it like it was an invisible dome, and causing the dome to crack wide open, a gash that caused the alien light of a yellow sun to stream thru.
And thru that gap zoomed an enormous fishing hook, glinting golden, arcing thru the air and slamming into the sand. The hook was attached to a line, and the line pulled taut, pointing off thru the crack; and pulled thru by the line came a young man and an armored being. 
The man wore a white trenchcoat with shimmery silver trim over a white spandex bodysuit with silver boots, a silver belt with a gold buckle, and a gold, shield-shaped chest emblem with a silver fishing hook on it. The being's armor was composed of smooth plates, gunmetal gray for most of it, blue on the gloves and boots, with a shining white breastplate, a blue circle on the left panel, a blue square on the right, and a blank blue faceplate. Doug watched them fly down, mouth in an O of amazement, and snapped several pictures.
They landed with a thump! on the beach. "Net.Access, are you okay?" said the man. "I sensed an enormous plot hook right before that-- I mean, that rift opened." He looked concerned, youthful brow furrowed.
"I'm sensing intense cosmic energies from the object she's holding," said a deep, smoky voice from the armor. "It may be some form of cosmic plot device, tho from the spectral analysis, I can tell it is not the Cosmic Plot Device."
The Characterization Stone pulsed in Net.Access's hand, and a burst of crimson energy pulsed from her eyes. "Nnnn... okay, that's enough of that... Plot Hook Lad... Betamax... can you give me some kind of containment unit?"
"One moment." Betamax pulled seemingly random panels off her armor; beneath each was an identical panel, which rose into place. She brought them together, assembling a sleek gray-and-blue sphere with an iris on it, which she threw up to Net.Access; Net.Access dropped the Stone into it and sighed. "Whew."
"So do we-- WHOA is that LAN.os!" Plot Hook Lad took a step back.
"Hah, yes!" crowed the cosmic villain, raising his fist. "And now that you have secured the Characterization Stone for me, I will-- whoop, sinking, sinking..."
"Yeah," said Net.Access. landing on the beach. "Long story."
"He desired that object, and you stopped him," said Betamax.
"Okay, short story." Net.Access adjusted the iris on the containment sphere, and a trickle of crimson energy streamed out like mist. "But that's not important, the important thing is, talking about what's been going on in your lives lately."
"...you know, I know you've been spending a lot of time with your girlfriend lately, but you could have, like, sent a text or something," said Plot Hook Lad. "No need to unearth interdimensional artifacts."
"I believe it is for the artifact," said Betamax, whose voice was near-monotone yet excellent at conveying a subtle amusement.
"Right," smiled Net.Access, the drama of the previous scene slowly dissolving, the guilt that had been released easing away.
"Oh, well." Plot Hook Lad laughed, a bit of his old awkwardness showing up. "Why don't you go first, Betamax, and I hook in?"
"All right," she said. "As you both know, I was originally known to the LNH as Irony Man II, showing up after the original Irony Man retired, on a secret quest to find the Messiah of Sincerity so that we could recruit the cosmic being known as the Laziness to stop the cosmic beings known as the Serious Business."
"Right," said Net.Access. "I wasn't around for that whole thing; how did it go?"
"Well."
"...well?"
"Yes." Betamax's featureless head gave a simple nod. "We accomplished our goals."
"Ah." Net.Access scratched her head. "...okay, well, what's been happening with you lately?"
"Well, I decided to stay in the present, for now, as a member of the Legion. I took on the new moniker of Betamax, to signify an embrace not of technology as a simple arc of ever-increasing progression, but as a branching infinity of possible futures, and a reminder that simply because one is more 'advanced', one is not necessarily better."
"Wow," said Net.Access. "That is simultaneously really deep and excessively convoluted."
Betamax gave a small bow. "Thank you."
"Yeah, once that whole thing was resolved, I came back to the LNH too," said Plot Hook Lad. "They helped me get my life back in place, it was... really hard dealing with all the emotional stuff, but, like, better than the alternative, right?" He gave a chuckle and pushed his hair back. "My family's great... everything's okay now."
Net.Access took a step towards Plot Hook Lad and pulled him into a tight hug. He made a little noise of surprise, then returned it; after a moment, they separated. "So," said Net.Access, "how'd you come back to life, anyway?"
He grinned. "Oh, Masterplan Lad brought me back to life."
"Masterplan Lad!?" Net.Access blinked in surprise. "He never said anything about that!"
"Well, he hasn't done it yet, of course." Plot Hook Lad's grin widened, and he crossed his arms.
"...uuuuuh-huh." Net.Access found herself smiling despite herself. "And you're not gonna follow up on that, are you."
"Nope!" Plot Hook Lad bounced in place impishly.
"Okay, okay," said Net.Access, shaking her head cheerfully. "Well, get some cosmic-y types over here to contain LAN.os. Maybe stick him in the Ultimate Black Hole if that's still around? And if it's not, y'know, evil. ...it's probably evil tho"
"I shall contact my sources," said Betamax, walking over to the quicksand.
"Ha-HA!" cackled LAN.os, exulting. "LAN.os never loses! Now, Doug!"
"...now what?" said Doug.
"Activate the device I gave you, of course!"
Doug rummaged in his pocket. "You mean this weird silver thing with the red button that you said not to push?"
"Yes! Push it, Doug!!"
Doug sighed and handed the device to Betamax. "Dude, you literally tried to kill me."
"...for friendship, Doug! Or, well, causally linked to friendship, at least!" LAN.os attempted the puppy dog eyes, and Net.Access had to look away.
She looked toward Doug. "Are you okay? Physically, but also, uh, emotionally."
"Physically, yeah." Doug rubbed his thighs. "Emotionally... this has been a weird day."
"Yeah, it really--" The containment unit pulsed in her hand. "Hhh. Uhh, lemme just take care of this..."
Her outfit dissolved, reforming into a sepiatone version of Babe Ruth's uniform. She took a step back, winding up...
"Wait! No!" LAN.os shouted. "Fool! I'll have to find another-- I mean, make more-- I mean..."
Net.Access launched the containment unit over the ocean. It flew, arcing high into the air... and at the very top of the arc, burst apart, the Characterization Stone trailing crimson fire until it splashed into the sea and was gone.
She dusted off her hands. "Leave that for Earth-20 to deal with." She turned back to Doug, ignoring LAN.os's shouts. "I think it's gonna take a while for them to deal with this guy. Want a ride back?"
"Sure," said Doug, "but can't you only leave with a friend?"
Net.Access took his hand.  "When you go thru big weird cosmic stuff together, you're friends. That's a net.hero rule."
"Oh, well..." He rubbed the back of his head with his other hand, a bit shyly. "That sounds good. Thank you."
Net.Access lead him off the beach, down across the magenta fields. "I'm sorry if this is blunt, but... how'd you become friends with that guy, anyway?"
"Heh. No, I guess there's no good way to ask." Doug shrugged. "Honestly, he showed up at game night one week and just... really seemed like he needed something normal in his life. So we let him play. And like... honestly, for a while, it seemed like he was just... having fun just enjoying himself. But then... I don't know what changed."
Net.Access nodded in commiseration. "I think... some people can't let go of what they've convinced themselves they have to do. Even if it's not nearly as healthy for them as letting go and just having a good time."
"Yeah. You think I should, like..." Doug looked over his shoulder. "Cut him off?"
"That's up to you. But I would establish some boundaries, at the very least." 
"Yeah..."
They came to a tall, spreading tree with bark of rose gold and leaves of, surprisingly, emerald green. Beneath sat a well-composed, human-looking being, deep in a book, his umbrella leaning against a tree.
"Masterplan Lad!" Net.Access waved, and Masterplan Lad looked up. 
He waved and stood, putting away his book and taking up his umbrella as they walked over. "I see you met a new friend," he said.
Doug scratched the back of his neck, smiling. Net.Access chuckled. "Yeah, this place does that to you."
"Did you get done what you needed to?" said Masterplan Lad, adjusting his bowtie.
"For now." Net.Access looked off into the sky. "They'll probably need reminding."
Masterplan Lad nodded, a small, rueful, hopeful smile on his face. "They always do."
Masterplan Lad took Doug's hand, and together, the three of them walked forward; and as they walked, they shimmered into soft, multicolored light, and they faded from the Friend Zone. But they could return anytime they felt like it, without grief or pain. And, reader, so can you.
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rosyerim · 5 years
Text
cafe au | haechan
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“yeah, welcome to our cafe and please don’t ask for our “secret” menu because we don’t have one.”
»»————- ♡ ————-««
lee donghyuck, or haechan as everybody else calls him is cafe angel’s resident grumpy boy
can be found either clinging onto mark whilst whining or chilling on the bean bags meant for the customers
but does anybody tell him to move? yes, but does he? nope
unless its doyoung or ten telling him off then he moves and “works”
until they find him sitting in the backroom with jisung instead of working 
sometimes sits by jaemin whose working the cash register and judges his flirting skills
“did you really say she doesn’t need sugar because shes already sweet? lameee”
“haechan aren’t you meant to be working?”
“jaemin, you’re not working either, you’re flirting”
cue doyoung shouting at them to attend to the customers
he’s pretty good at raking in the tips mostly because the customers always have good banter with him as he is very sassy
rolls his eyes when he asks “for here or take away?” and they say “here  but in a to go cup”
he will legit fight the next customer who asks for  “secret” menu option
“this isn’t starbucks our only menu is the one on the wall!!”
likes to doodle on the to go coffee cups and gives away the ones with hearts on them to nice customers but gives ones w angry clouds on them to cheeky customers
renjun highkey judging his art skills in the corner
despite his lazy rep, haechan can make a mean hot chocolate and always makes it look pretty
half of his ig feed is him uploading pics of his hot chocolates with colour coordinated captions
claims only he can make good hot chocolates and doesn’t let anybody else make them when he works
he won’t tell anybody but he’s super satisfied when he see’s a customer smiling after they drink his hot chocolate
“...haechan why are you smiling so intently at that little kid”
“because he reminds me of an elf fuck off mark”
during his breaks catch him extending them from 15 minutes to an hour and chilling on the bean bags but with a blanket tucked up all around him
if he ends up falling asleep he will not budge so good luck moving him
chenle takes this opportunity to draw on his face but his dolphin laughs wakes him up every single time
groans when rush hour starts and always tries to get out of it but mark keeps on iron grip on him
even though he seems he doesn’t like his job, haechan will not go to any other cafe and will square up to anybody who shit talks cafe angel
once, his sister came home with pastries from starbucks and haechan wouldn’t talk to her for a week 
he loves it when it rains mainly because he can watch people getting splashed by cars on the sidewalk and laugh at them 
he’s stuck with the customers in a bad mood tho but then he turns on his full sun mode and the customers leaves with an extra large coffee and two pastries they didn’t know they wanted
which is how he met you
it was an extremely rainy Sunday evening and you were in a bad mood having fought with your best friend & your guardians at home, you went for a walk to cool off 
and of course it started pouring rain and you were umbrella less
the to top it off you were splashed by a damn lorry just as you were about to head into a cafe called angel for shelter from the downpour
you dejectedly had walked into the cafe which was surprisingly busy and waited in the queue, feeling so done with how your day was ending up 
the pink haired cashier asked for your order and you just mumbled out “a large black coffee with 4 extra shots of espresso”
jaemin titled his head lowkey concerned cause thats a lot of caffeine but an orders an order 
you paid him and picked an empty booth to sit in by yourself after grabbing the warm drink 
you didn’t even make a face when you sipped the drink you were feeling so bleak
but little did you know an angel was going to brighten up your day
you were lost in your thoughts when a sudden flurry of moment caught your eye and next thing you know theres a smiley boy sitting across from you and a plate of two muffins next to your coffee
before you could even say anything he stuck his hand out and introduced himself
“hello my name is haechan and I noticed that you seemed down so I'm here to lift you up!”
you shook his hand and introduced yourself back a little surprised 
“it’s very nice to meet you y/n”
you smiled politely at him not really in the mood to talk to this very bubbly person but he was insistent asking you how old you were, where you went to school, etc until you ended up in a deep conversation about Michael Jackson and his best song
haechan was so close to busting out a moonwalk just to prove he was right until doyoung interrupted to tell you it was closing time
two hours had passed without you two realising and you awkwardly brought our your wallet to pay for the muffins which were very nice
you bought two again the next time you came
haechan just waved you off for paying
“don’t worry its on the house”
“ah no I have to give you something in return for the muffins”
you could literally see haechan’s lips curl into a smug grin
“okay! give me your phone number then”
very smooth donghyuck
you gave it to him slightly giddy at the prospect of him wanting to actually become friends or more with you
but before you left you thanked him for making your day better and he just smiled bashfully 
“anytime, you know they named this cafe after me because I'm an actual angel and I could be your guardian angel ;)”
you just giggled at him before quickly pecking his cheek and walking out,  your face probably a tomato 
yet the second you left haechan was tackled by mark and jaemin as his face flushed the brightest red, doyoung rolling his eyes behind the counter
“damn hyuck since when did you get so slick?”
“wow lee donghyuck talking to a customer no, flirting with a customer?!”
he just pushed them off and whipped out his phone staring at your contact name looking back up at him
he smiled happily to himself as he changed your name slightly and waddled over to the bean bags, debating what to text you first
[to] y/n♡
hey, its your guardian angel ;) sent 10:02pm
you almost dropped your phone when you read the text, feeling your face grow warm
then you received another text from him and it was a selfie of him wrapped in a blanket, a peace sign held up by his grin 
hooo the softest boy I LOVE
your fingers hovered over the screen, racking your mind for a smart reply 
[from] y/n♡
oh? I didn’t know my guardian angel was so cute sent 10:04pm
then you sent him a selfie of yourself back, doing the same pose as him
sadly, you didn’t get to see haechan blush as he read your message then scream as he saw your selfie, running around the cafe to try and express how his heart felt
“donghyuck, you’re getting the floor dirty, I just fucking mopped it!” 
“okay mark if you had someone as pretty as y/n sending you selfies, your dumbass would do the same!!”
cue doyoung rolling his eyes again and hitting haechan with a towel, urging him to help clean up but deep down he was happy for haechan finally finding someone for himself 
thus, began your love story with the one and only lee donghyuck ♡
a/n: get well soon fullsun ♡
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uniformbravo · 6 years
Text
god free! is such a dumb goofy series i love it like shit gets real sometimes but when it comes down to it it’s just a bunch of dumb goofy teens living their lives together?? i have compiled a list of my favorite examples from s1
makoto: *enters haru’s house uninvited, walks right into the bathroom while haru’s in the bath, presumably naked* hey haru: ....................................hey LIKe he just.... Accepts that this is happening, theres like a solid like 2 seconds of him just staring at makoto like he’s debating within himself whether to Say It or not before almost tangibly going “fuck it” & just going along w/ it*
haru & makoto & nagisa going “is it really okay to dig up our old trophy if rin isn’t here? idk it just feels wrong w/o him” only to find out that rin not only beat them there but also fucking just went ahead and dug it up by himself hfjdkjgd
haru having some kind of sixth sense for sugar apparently??? when nagisa throws “salt” on them he like tenses up all dramatic & goes “this isnt salt........................ it’s sugar” like ok????? just gonna let that one go i guess
rin having sharp teeth for absolutely no fucking reason
haru & rin not noticing the fucking pool they're about to race in is empty????
haru straight up rejecting their encounter with rin & trying to convince himself they all hallucinated him like huh? what? rin?? haha impossible he’s in australia there’s no way he couldve been at the swim club last night. no theres no such thing as airplanes he’s gone forever. yes im sure
rin going back to the old swim club again bc the first time his melodramatic brooding was interrupted by those old elementary school Goons showing up so he needed a do-over
nagisa skinny dipping in samezuka’s pool??? an apparently prestigious competitive swimming powerhouse that trains up future professional gold medalists, reigning champions of interhigh swim meets near and far in that same water & nagisa just jumps the fuck in dick out no fucks to give whatsoever???? this bitch
haru literally only showing up to both the old swim club and samezuka academy for the pools, it’s literally the equivalent of college students showing up to any given event for free food (and the fact that they had to break in both times, these Rowdy-Ass Teens)
rin showing up just in time to interrupt their illicit pool activities bc he Sensed Them
haru wearing his swimsuit under his clothes literally everywhere despite reportedly not having actually swum since middle school (except for in the ocean during summer, but it’s like the middle of spring rn?? is he just doing this in way advanced preparation? is this the equivalent of people who start posting abt halloween in july)
gou showing up to haru’s house bc apparently she just Knows where he lives (also haru hearing the doorbell & immediately submerging his head in the bath bc he’d rather drown than have to answer the door #relatable)
rei calling haru “haru-chan-san” upon first meeting him bc “haru-chan” is what nagisa has been referring to him as so that’s his sole point of reference but he also has to add his own honorific too bc come on
haru being instantly pissed at this random new fuck for calling him not only -chan, his Least favorite honorific, but now -san on top of it too??? Outrageous (and this is the same guy who reportedly “hates water,” a completely unacceptable sentiment that should under no circumstances be allowed anywhere near their team in the first place- honestly from haru’s pov it’s like “oh so this is the guy who hates water huh, this hot shit” & then the hot shit’s all “you must be haru-chan-san” he probably just immediately sees red ghdjsjf)
nagisa’s whole “we need this guy bc he has a girly name just like us it’s fate” thing even tho rei’s already in the track club doing pole vaulting that he’s obviously been training v hard to be able to do is such a stupid anime bullshit motivation & my favorite part of it is that their plan for recruiting him basically amounts to the whole gang of idiots showing up to all of rei’s practices and staring at him intensely from the corner until he joins them, like,,,, think of this from rei’s perspective he’s just minding his own business trying to perfect pole vaulting & these fuckers have fixated on him for no apparent reason? he can’t even swim???
rei going so far out of his way to avoid admitting to nagisa that he can’t swim that he comes up with this bullshit philosophy about “humans evolved from the water so why would we regress and get back into it??? Checkmate y’all are fucking idiots now leave me alone” (& also the effort & passion he puts into the delivery, the overdramatic gesturing hfhhddjf rei are u sure u don’t actually belong in the drama club)
after all that, rei up and deciding to leave the track team (even tho he literally structured his daily schedule around it, went running in the mornings & everything, read books n shit) to join the swim club bc haru just looked really, really cool while swimming that one time
haru legitimately having a hard time choosing between like 5 of the exact same swim suit
when they’re trying to figure out why rei can’t swim & haru’s like “the water doesn’t like him” & nagisa’s immediately like “poor rei-chan :(” like hfkglfkj he just Accepts
rei being so frustrated with his inability to swim that he blames it on his speedo & is very convinced that buying a new one will somehow solve all of his problems (& everyone else just going along w/ it like ok i guess it’s time to go swimsuit shopping then)
haru, the owner of the previously mentioned 5 identical swimsuits, joining in with everyone else to go shopping for even more swimsuits, and picking out another one that looks just fucking like the other 5 he already has
nagisa being told that he can’t put their ugly-ass bird mascot on the swim team uniform so he puts “secret iwatobi-chan” on the back of the shirt that will be hidden beneath the jacket as if that’s not Blatantly what he was told not to do (also the fact that anyone entrusted the handling of the uniforms to nagisa, the exact kind of person who would do exactly that kind of thing)
(ok this one isnt rly goofy but haru just bit his ice cream & im so intimidated rn??)
rin’s fucking 6th sense for haru again???? “smells like mackerel”????? i truly cannot handle this one (haru & company are looking in at samezuka’s practice through the window & rin’s just like “HUH what the fuck is that who’s there i smell Mackerel” like????? oh my fucking god)
amakata “we don’t have enough money for a training camp” miho renting herself and gou a room at a lodge on the beach?????? power move
this goddamn show having a fun ~spooky~ haunted house adventure right after everyone almost fucking Died
haru’s story about his “first love” being about a fucking waterfall igmgkdjkg
rin jogging on the beach the next morning & stopping by the tents like “who r these fuckin dumbasses camping right on the shoreline” & then he turns around and there’s haru & his band of swimming idiots
rin waiting in the hallway at the interhigh in case haru comes by so he can casually get up & have a Cool And Dramatic confrontation w/ him where he brags how he’s gonna beat him in their upcoming race (which, even better, he purposely entered himself at a lower skill level to be able to do while probably his whole team went “uhhhh are u sure abt this lmao we’re kind of trying to be the best here” & hes just like “yeah yeah its fine it’s gonna be so fucking cool just wait”)
haru apparently also having a Rin Sense where he just Feels that rin is there, watching him about to swim (although now that i think about it that bright red hair is probably a fuckin beacon, i bet literally everyone looked over at him the second he stepped out of that doorway- that and the massive aura of Teen Angst surrounding him at all times)
the whole thing with nagisa & rei’s operation at the summer festival to keep haru from seeing rin? first of all is v cute but they get so into it fjdhgkdj fucking dumb cute kids playing secret detective mission texting each other Classified Intel about the location of their targets while also trying to hide it from haru & makoto (who eventually find out bc nagisa is literally the worst liar ever while also already being the most suspect little shit out of all of them by nature)
rei getting so caught up in the detective shit that he ends up following rin out of the festival entirely & into town where the purpose of his pursuit in the first place is irrelevant bc haru’s not gonna suddenly happen upon rin at the elementary school?? rei is such a nosy bitch i love him
rei being such a nosy bitch that he inadvertently fixes the emotional turmoil that has been building between rin & the others unresolved for years
rin texting gou to get rei’s number bc he needs to have a Serious and Dramatic conversation w/ him but he didnt have the chance to exchange contact info the last time they yelled at each other behind the school
rin sitting alone in samezuka’s bus bc they banned him from swimming for being too obsessed w/ haru & he needs somewhere to Sulk
rin finding some random tree outside the swim meet & being like “this reminds me of that tree from elementary school” bc hes a nostalgic bitch like that
haru being able to find rin bc he saw the same tree earlier and went “wait, rin’s a nostalgic bitch, i know Exactly where the fuck he went” & Sure Enough
iwatobi getting themselves disqualified bc they wanted to swim w/ rin in an official race like??? i know it’s an emotional & satisfying moment but miho chewing them out for it afterward is so fucking funny like objectively this team was doing rly well & then suddenly went “u know what, we do what we want, this red guy is ours now” & the judges went “hmm............... no”
in the v last episode when theyre all just sitting in a classroom w/ rin having him pretend to introduce himself as if he were a transfer student like theres absolutely no reason for this, theyre just goofing off together and reconnecting after having lost each other for so many years & it’s so dumb & heartwarming & the perfect way to close off the season & im crying i really do love this show i love these characters so much what a dumb cute goofy heartfelt show aaaaaa free is a treasure
*from the very 1st point: i know there r cultural differences to take into account where it’s probably not as big a deal for makoto to walk in on haru’s bath time in japan as it would be in like, america & the real issue haru takes w/ this happening is that his one little place of refuge in a world w/o water is being breached by this annoyingly persistent guy who not only interrupts his coping time but is actively trying to get him to leave it for “important” things like “going to school” and “not being late” & the extended pause is really him registering this unpleasant situation & trying to decide if it’s worth it to fight for his solitude, ultimately deciding it’s not worth the energy and begrudgingly accepting makoto’s outstretched hand, though he vocalizes his displeasure by rejecting his -chan bc no one who pulls him away from the water is someone he can call a friend, not even his like. actual friend. only friend. either one
anyway i love free bye
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Day 24 of 28
Drink is everywhere. It is available in so many places, places not immediately associated with the substance. It is sold in my local post office. In fact, in that establishment more shelves are busy housing beer and wine than any other product. I mean, wtf? Why? Coffee shops, good old artisan coffee shops throw off their veil of nobility come the appropriate hour, an earlier hour deemed more appropriate with the advent of a fine, warming sun, and transform their blood, I mean coffee,  into wine, And the price, 3 quid for a bottle of wine??? What the fuck is in that? But that’s a whole other debate, the ‘bouquet’ of a fine wine, aka, dead, rotted vegetable/fruit. Oh do let’s pay the earth for a splendid year’s vintage, and quaff it as if we have any idea of its provenance, its content or practically anything about it at all. Mr Carr was correct when he said after the first glass or so, no-one would know the difference. Even a questionable tasting episode, how do you know its off? Of course its off, its dead fruit!! Besides, you’ll get used to it, trust me. But if you don’t get used to it, if you really can’t endure something that sips not to your tastes, have you got the ‘bottle’ to challenge the sommelier? To call him/her out?? I dare ya!! Sniff sniff...
It’s all nonsense and yet a billion pound industry, global industry, has been ‘cultivated’ and grown up around the whole ethos. What a diabolical liberty!! 
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ytY9_xy7qgY
White wine should be served chilled, you know why? Dry drinking it warm! IT IS DISGUSTING! It’s the equivalent of a menthol cigarette!! This is all so crazeeeeeey!!! Cigarettes by the way, are the same. It is not easy to become a smoker you know. Smokers have stamina, staying power persistence. You think those first puffs are pleasant??? No no, a smoker has the heart and soul of a lion! You have to REALLY (scuse split infinitive) work at becoming a smoker, that is, getting hooked. I know people who have never drunk, who have been drinkers and have stopped completely, who drink now and then and those who drink to excess when they do it, like me. Why does it hook one but not the other? Does the why matter? If I didn’t have issues of agoraphobia which I believe are exacerbated by beer, I would not even contemplate giving it up. If anything, my anxiety issue has probably kept me alive as it has enforced periods of cessation to allow a period unsullied by all the attendant unpleasantness. Anxiety has probably allowed me the life span I have had to date! I LOVE my anxiety! I owe it so much! I owe it life!! Hurrah!! If I had a beer now, I can tell you, it would taste HORRIBLE, but I’d deal with that in double quick time, don’t you worry about that business! The fact is the whole myth about drinking, red wine benefits (bollocks!), Guinness iron content, relaxing, reward for some achievement or hard work, beer and reduced heart disease, socially acceptable accompaniment (you seen an urban weekend night/early morning recently? more like a war zone), it is all absolute BOLLOCKS! And this is me, a confirmed drinker speaking thus! 
The only reason I consider these issues so much more intensely when I don’t have beer, is because when I do have it, then I find myself numbed by it and under the illusion that I am able to carry out those things that without it I cannot. More bollocks. The beer just deadens me, my sensitivity, my synaptic responders. Beer doesn’t fix it, it hides it. I know this. It’s obvious. And as for the idea of my eliminating a whole raft of items on my menu of life, eg coffee, sugar, cake, etc, etc, I say tongue in cheek. I am however, minded that script, two dimensional writing does not always convey a sense of sarcasm. This was pointed out to me, not in so many words, but adequately to realise that perhaps my words suggest I would give all up in pursuit of an anxiety free life. I wouldn’t. The obvious progression of my life of without would run thus: people first, beer next, sugar next, coffee next, certain foods next, and so on until you come to the only one left on the list. Life. Ultimately I would have to give up life itself which indeed would bring an end to earthly woes but frankly, I’m really not up for that!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=stcztYRJj28
You know, I think I’m just pissed off that I am afflicted thus. If I had an amputated limb without the availability of a modern prosthetic (tho’ I’d probably be pissed off even then), I’d be pissed off. If I had MS I would be pissed off. If I had Crohn’s I’d be pissed off. I’d be pissed off with whatever I had but I’d get on with it and not examine the origins (maybe a little...) or essence of it to these lengths. Acceptance again. Acceptance. Btw, if there were a pill that could remove all anxiety without one side effect AT ALL, would I take it? Erm, you know, I’m not so sure I would....
My young friend and I played squash again. She has definitely got potential. She also dressed for the part today, professional looking for a squash court. Is this a gradual return to self-esteem levels? Or am I reading too much into that? I don’t think I am. But so what? It will out how it will out. She had a moment in the coffee room after the game. I say a moment, she had to leave. I tried to prevail upon her to stay, to confront the panic, but she was having it none of it. I understood this. We went elsewhere for the post match flat white. She is adamant it is the people, their presence, their number that wreak the damage. She is changing. She cannot see it. She will outlive me on this drinking expedition, good for her. I hope she does. We will not have this level of closeness in 2 months time. We, like European swallowtail butterfly larvae will shed our outgrown skin on a fennel plant and go seek out alternative conduits of support and solace, not that either of us would need such in 2 months time if both still on the unblighted path of restraint, by then we will soar like liberated butterflies unshackled by any restrictive force of chains.....
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CGMt_VxXYm0
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A L L
ok so jess asked me for half of em so here’s the rest:
59: Take a vitamin daily?  nope             
60: Wear slippers?   nah            
61: Wear a bath robe? nope              
62: What do you wear to bed?  usually pj pants and a soft tank top             
63: First concert? some christian band one im sure            
64: Wal-Mart, Target or Kmart?  walmart since its closest, but shout out to target for carrying nyx and to kmart for that 90%off halloween clearance sale      
65: Nike or Adidas? Nike i guess i dont care about either              
66: Cheetos Or Fritos?  cheetos             
67: Peanuts or Sunflower seeds?  neither, i like pecans and walnuts             
68: Ever hear of the group Tres Bien? nope              
69: Ever take dance lessons? i did for near 10 years lol              
70: Is there a profession you picture your future spouse doing?  well nick could be a statistician for like soccer or lol. i have no idea, he likes math stuff            
71: Can you curl your tongue? yup              
72: Ever won a spelling bee?   we never had them, but i cant spell out loud so i doubt i would have            
73: Have you ever cried because you were so happy? yes              
74: Own any record albums? nope              
75: Own a record player?  nope             
76: Regularly burn incense?  cant, dorm rules. i do have a wax melter tho          
77: Ever been in love? ye              
78: Who would you like to see in concert?  idk im not too much of a concert person. heard vocaloid concerts were cool tho             
79: What was the last concert you saw?  probably some christan band lol idr    
80: Hot tea or cold tea?   hot            
81: Tea or coffee?  both             
82: Sugar or snickerdoodles?  dont do this to me             
83: Can you swim well? debatable              
84: Can you hold your breath without holding your nose? yea               
85: Are you patient? depends              
86: DJ or band, at a wedding?  DJ           
87: Ever won a contest? not that i can think of...              
88: Ever have plastic surgery?   nope            
89: Which are better black or green olives? neither they’re fuckin gross     
90: Can you knit or crochet? i can knit a little              
91: Best room for a fireplace? bedroom or library              
92: Do you want to get married? yea              
93: If married, how long have you been married?                
94: Who was your HS crush?  guy named Dylan... low key still crushin but i got a bae now so its fine         
95: Do you cry and throw a fit until you get your own way?   no            
96: Do you have kids? helllllz no              
97: Do you want kids? helllz no            
98: Whats your favorite color?  grey             
99: Do you miss anyone right now?   my dog            
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Essay: The Magic Behind Atkins Diet
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