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#thor odinson x black!reader
neonovember · 1 year
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Reigning expectations pt.2
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pairing: thor x fem!reader
summary: Your feelings of inadequacy come forth as thor tries to prove that you deserve whats been transcribed by the gods
word count: 4K
warnings: illusion to smut, depression, self esteem issues, thor’s dirty mouth, probably inaccurate depictions of Thor and Asgard
a/n: pretend I know what I’m talking about, this part two has been long over due
MINORS DNI
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The clang of the mythological metal rang through the Avengers tower as it tobbled from your grip and lay flat against the hardwood floor. There is an imminent silence that blankets the team, as they, all of them, wallow in the confusion and wonderment that had just occurred. 
The cool midnight breeze wafts in from the balcony doors, and New York glitters with phasing lights and smoke.
It lasts a mere second before the entire team has enveloped the space with rapid questions and demands, each derangily looking between Thor and an alarmingly frozen you. You press your fingernails into your palms, and as your ears begin to ring, the rush of realisation hits you hard then, and it almost tobbles you beside the damn hammer itself.
Quickly rising, your eyes scan the tower, and you don't hesitate for a second before dashing through your teammates, trying to escape the questions you have no answer for and the reality that you have no desire to face. The end of the hallway has an enclosed door that leads to an elevator that takes you straight to the rooftop, separate from the main elevator and one you've found all on your own. You were not shy from escaping into the night air to feel the relief of air gushing through your lungs, it was just a tad bit safer 12 stories high.
Pressing the buttons impatiently, you stand erect in the metal elevator, surrounded by glistening mirrors you can't help but scrutinise your reflection. A queen? A descendant of a god? You let out a pathetic laugh that you hide from yourself. There must have been some cosmic shift in the universe that caused you to lift that hammer, a blip in the loops of universes that made up your timeline, anything, everything, just something that didn't mean worthiness.
Your entire life you had gambled with bouts of low self-esteem, it would manifest through periods of deep self-loathing and merely acceptance of yourself. Everything you did, and every choice you made would be scrutinised by those closest to you, and when the team accepted you as their one you couldn't quite understand why. You didn't know it then but that moment was when you truly started living, the team was your bedrock, the resounding calm after the storm, they helped you pick up the pieces when they fell all those years ago, and now? Now you fear everything was about to change.
You slide down the elevator walls, feeling the mirrors crowding you, leaning in, as push your heated skin against the cool metal walls. You can’t face yourself, much less the thought of your mythological destiny.
— -
Thor’s POV
The team looks towards one another, confusion lifting their features from the amusement and loudness just moments ago.
God, you had truly lifted it. Every harrowing thought that clouds and preens against Thor's mind are are all confused and disoriented. But the pulse in his heart quickens, and his eyes glaze over and he just knows.
He always knew you were worthy. 
It bubbles in his heart and causes a restlessness to clamour its way into his chest. It radiates from the tips of his toes to his golden locks, this knowing, it drives him to search and reach for you, for his girl, for his Lady.
A hand presses into his arm, tugging at the tailored navy cloth of a thousand threads
“Thor??, Thor can you hear me??” The baritone voice breaks through his fazed-out expression, causing him to turn swiftly to Steve.
Thor can only manage a gurgle of noise that escaped from his throat, his head swiftly nodding as a concerned look pulls against Steve’s golden features.
“Did you know about this? About another being on Earth holding the capability of your hammer?” Steve asks, eyes widening.
“Not even a celestial being Thor, a goddamn mortal, a human, our fuckin- our teammate, how is that even possible?” Banner interrupts, his gruff voice pitching higher at the end of his sentence. The smell of spilt booze and tobacco intensifies as Bruce sits down on the coffee table across from Thor.
“I-uh, I had no idea” Liar.
“The hammer, Mjolnir, it, it was crafted millions of years before our time, at the hands of mythological legends that embedded a deep power that cannot be explained nor restrained by the-the physics of this world” Thor begins to explain, hands flying across from him, gesturing to the tower and beyond the thick window walls.
The team leans in, the puzzling amusement wafts in the air and they hold their breath, none of them could lift it even a hair, and yet, you grasped it like it weighed nothing like it was a part of you.
What other hidden powers did you possess? What other lurking lineage would manifest out of the blue, causing them to wonder what you truly wore, even years later.
“While it may seem incredibly heavy to all of you, for me, and-and now for y/n” Thor gestures to your seat, before finding it empty, the imprint of your body pressed into the leather but no sign of you.
Thor quickly rises from his seat, moving from the crowding space of the coach, his eyes flicker across from the team, and still, your absence harrows deeper into his chest.
Shaking with earnestness to find you and tell you all the things left at the tip of his tongue and bit back into his lip, the sounds of the team are muffled from his ears.
A crackling fire breathes deep within him, black and blue flames licking their way up his stomach, pushing him, burning him with a sole purpose that bristles the hairs down his back.
Find her. Help her. Keep her.
“Thor? We’re you going?” Tony asks, the drunken liquor that had once softened his features hardened again, the prior events sobering him quickly.
“Y/n, she- she’s gone” Thor replies, his voice cracking as he begins to move
“Shit” Mutters Tony, before moving from his position, calling for Friday to secure the building, barring all exits.
“If she gets out, she’s going to be confused, that power that runs through your veins, it brings something within you, and if we don’t find her, she might- she’s going to..” Thor replies, his eyes darting across his teammates, tugging at his collar which has begun to itch his skin.
“She’s going to hurt some people” Steve replies, an understanding that blankets his features, nodding with a gruff mumbling through a tight-lipped mouth.
“More like a lot of people” Tony snorts, fingers fumbling at indiscreet buttons embedded into his tailored suit. Whilst the rest of the team begin gearing up to find you, and suddenly, like a flash of wind and rain, Thor gritty his teeth and steps forward.
“Wait, stop, STOP, before you all try and hound her, let me talk to her, I’m the only one who can, and believe me, she's not going to want her team mates scurrying around the tower like she's some intruder”. Thor says, before Tony scoffs loudly
“Listen, I get the whole kicked puppy appeal, and I know how you like to play Prince Charming, but we need to find her as quick as possible, this isnt just for our safety, its for hers. Did you ever think about that?” Tony replies, eyebrows raising expectedly.
“She barely knows what's happening to her, and she could end up hurting herself alright? Unlike many of you who think I actually care about the team, well maybe just Y/N but still.” Tony murmur, as he casts his gaze across the team.
“Which is exactly why I, need to find her, not you not the team, not Lady Friday, me” Thor emphasises the word, pressing his index towards his chest.
Tony sighs, he's shoulder giving way, teeth grinding and he bits back a harsh retort, Bruce shifts on his feet, knuckles rubbing across his bottom lip as his mind runs over the hundred questions and possibilities pressing his mind.
“Maybe he's right,” He says, causing Tony to swiftly turn his neck, eyebrows raising as he cocks his head in shock.
“Jesus Banner, you're telling me you agree with him?” Tony replies, a comical laugh leaving his mouth as shakes his head in dissaprovment.
“Look, Tony, I want, more than anything to find her as quick as possible and find out what or how this is happening, alright? But we've got to be smart about this, she's going to be out there, scared, and feeling disoriented, and that isn't a good combination with cosmic wielding powers. The only one who can reach her, through the fog and mist of confusion is Thor.” Banner replies, eyes noting Tony’s scrutinising gaze.
“You should go” A voice rises from the team before Bucky coughs loudly,
“He needs to go, Tony, she only needs one person at this point, and it's you, it's gotta be you” Bucky replies, nodding towards Thor who returns the same gesture.
“Always voted out of a team I practically created, why do I even try anymore” Murmurs Tony, scratching his chin roughly, before he seems to surrender as Thor’s blazing blues bore into him.
Before Thor has a chance to step forward, Tony's gruff voice presses him to stop.
His hands reach down to pat his pack pocket awkwardly, before shifting his reach into his jacket, he throws a small rectangle screen towards the golden-haired god.
“It’s a portable tablet screen that's directly connected to Friday, think of it as a, uh mini Friday in your pocket. If you need us, just click the side button twice,” explains Tony. As Thor pockets the tablet securely, he nods towards him, an understanding that is murmured between their eyes.
And with a turn, Thor takes off into the darkness of the expansive tower, following the route he's carved into the forefront of his mind. The route he knows you take every day, hoping to the gods he’ll find his girl.
--- -
Shouldering the rooftop door open the gush of the city air fills your lungs with mouthfuls, the sting of smoke and escaped steam wrinkle your nose and you sigh out loud at the circumstance you face this rooftop with.
You ride your dress up as you fumble to reach for a maroon brick, shoving it carelessly between the door and the adjacent wall to keep I from locking from the inside.
Walking through the rooftops brick terrace held together by rows of porcelain columns, the glitter of strung fairy lights glistens against your skin, the midnight breeze wafts through your hair and you can't understand why but there is a sliver of unease that runs down your back, bristling the hairs on the curve of it.
Stepping towards the edge of the rooftop, your eyes strain as they watch the waves of yellow cabs and red umbrellas, rolling over and crashing into the bank, pulling back, and pushing into the sea of people that engulfed this city. Sky-scratching buildings seem to loom down on you, as you raise your head towards the skies, towards the thin band of here and there, the world in which its lineage ran through your veins.
You wondered if you would live between those two worlds, between the green and blue of Earth and the luminous realms of Asgard. Would you have to forgo your life on Earth? Leave your teammates to go fight- to go fulfil some designated throne that had been waiting for you since the inception of time? Your thoughts are cut off as you feel that same shiver caress your spine, it's blinding in its uncomfortableness, like an itch you cannot scratch.
And without any conscious reason, you feel yourself recognise the presence of another being, one that feels connected to you, beyond the strained curiosity and shock your other teammates had plastered on their faces. 
This person, they reach for you, the whisper of their knowing hands, strong, as they'd hold you, stripping away everything else, the constraints of normalcy and what dictates ordinary on Earth. Reaching for you, like they know, like they understand, like they too grasp the strength of the Nordic grafted hammer.
“Thor” You whisper, head tilted towards the black oil spill that spreads across the evening sky.
“M’lady” He replies swiftly, the sound of his boots stepping forward from their place leaning against the rooftop door frame.
“How did you find me” You chuckle humourlessly, letting the auburn locks fall across your face, a curtain that guards you against the world.
“If I knew better, I’d call it a hunch, but if I'm being completely honest? I can’t help but notice you in a room full of others, you pull me, like some invisible force, where you go I follow, call me foolish and I’d say I’m but a fool for you”. Thor replies, with a deep baritone voice that causes you to quiver.
You gulp at his admonishment, softly turning your body to gaze towards his lingering figure, a stretch of space between you two that told you if you didn't want this you could still back away and run from it. A stretch of space Thor always kept from you, keeping you at arm's length until now, until he couldn't bare to keep you away.
He overpowers everything, his stature looming over everyone in the team like some formidable statue, the cloth navy shirt and pants going to every muscle and ripple in his body, the threads stretching across his expansive chest and back.
The whips of his dirty blonde hair escape his haphazard bun, licking the edges of his beard and curved lashes beaded with a sunset yellow. The wind flutters around him, a blossom appearing on his cheeks and neck, as his eyes survey your expression, trying to decipher your response through the stone of your features.
“You-” You clear your throat as you continue “You truly mean that?” You whisper back, stepping closer towards him. He looks across at you, eyes fluttering under heavy lids, nodding furiously as he steps towards you, causing you to step back until the small of your back brushes against the rooftop railing.
“Swear to the gods, this is a truth I’ve held closer than anything in my life” Thor promises, he's closer now, close enough where you can trace the sun-kissed freckles across his cheeks or the whisper of a white scar that snakes its way across his forehead.
“Let me help you? Please?” Thor looks down at you, a fire burning within the storm of his azure eyes, waves crashing against each other, the depth of a dark beast that tries to swallow you whole.
You furrow your eyebrows, your heart pounding against your chest as you swallow thickly, looking up towards him you reach for his arm and he grasps you earnestly, squeezing hard.
“I don't want to hurt people Thor, and- and I don't think there is anything you can help me with” You reply, as you press your teeth into your bottom lip.
Thor’s gaze on your bristles,  his jaw tight as he observes you closely, his eyes darken before he shakes the moment away.
“What do you mean?” Thor replies, confusion spreading across his features
“Thor, do you honestly believe I am some kind of long-lost queen to your dynasty? That I, have the duty and honour to carry that hammer?” You reply, your gaze shifting across his features, as a moment of realisation hits him.
“You don't think you're worthy.” He murmurs, shaking his head as if the mere saying revolted him.
You bite your lip, smiling hard before nodding, it was true after all, so why did it hurt so much when it came from his mouth?
“Did you think I truly believed I was when I grasped Mjolnir in my hand all those years before? Every single fibre of my being dripped with doubt that It wouldn't nudge, that some overarching god saw my deepest fears and believed them”. He replies, his eyes glazed as if reminiscing about life before.
You listen carefully, but can't help the look of shock that overpowers your features. The hammer was practically grafted for him, the hilt and handle moulded to fit the length of his hand. His big, burly, thick hands. And yet he was doubtful, a voice tries to doubt his words, saying they are just a front, but you know, deep down, that he is probably the only person who has spoken to you this truthfully, the only person you know looks at you and sees you. 
“And you know what happened?” Thor continues “I picked it up, and with it those doubts lay where they would, and I was so thankful, that they saw everything, my deepest fears, but refused to believe them as true. Refused to give them any chance to destroy me”. He replies
“And now, I come to you, and hope to god I give you that same reassurance, that same ever-lasting remembrance that you are, and will always be, worthy” Thor replies, fingers tracing the curve of your face, tucking a curl behind your ear.
“This isn’t to say I don't carry those same doubts, trust me, darling, they are with me, each and every day, but most days, the belief in me is a little louder” Thor replies, a smile tugging his lips as he looks at you.
“It’s just- it's just so confusing. I mean why now?” You reply.
“Gods tend to have a pretty funny sense of humour, trust me” Thor replies, a chuckle escaping his mouth, it's beautiful, the sound still held back by nerves and the eagerness to not make a fool of himself infant of you.
You can't help but let a giggle leave you, the sound so foreign after so many years of your non-expressive facade, it felt good, to let yourself be free, let yourself go of the pain of everything unsaid.
“You know, before the team, before everything really, I had a sister. She was younger than me but so so tall, and had this amazing raven hair that just fell into beautiful curls down her back. I always felt I needed to protect her, even when I didn't know what that meant you know? And then she died, and my entire life just caved in on itself” You murmur, the memories of those years before pain you, the familiar burn aching just like it was yesterday.
“I was so broken Thor, I mean, just- I was ruined” You smile, tears ebbing on your waterline as you shake yourself.
“How could I possess such power, such significance, when I was so destroyed for years? When I couldn't even bath myself when I couldn’t- when I could protect her. I was weak, and that stays with you, I feel it in my bones. It stays with you” You struggle to swallow around the brick lodged into your throat, blinking back tears that have begun to stain your cheeks.
Thor's hand comes to swipe them away with his thumb, holding it there so that he grasped your face, and scooped it within the mass of his enormous hands. You get safe in them, like the horrors of your past could be protected by his index and thumb.
“The pain, the pain of losing someone close to you, it’s like that of losing a part of yourself, during the battle of Asgard, I had lost-” Thor coughs, shaking his head before continuing. “I had lost one of my dearest comrades, my confidante, my friend. I took it, the pain, and I kept it within me, letting it fester and bellow as more of my loved ones passed. I didn't know it then but I was slowly stripping away, decorticating and rotting from the inside out”.
“I don't think I will ever forgive myself you know? For not doing enough, for doing too much, I don't know. It’s all such a blur, just feelings and memories now, that pain is there.” Thor replies mournfully, pressing a hand to your chest softly.
“But there comes a point where you have to make a decision, to either allow yourself to sink further down the depression and grief, are allow it to be a part of yourself, letting its waves crash over you rather than against you, let the storm take you until it has no choice but to pass”
“It’s there and we carry it with us every day and isn't that enough? Isn’t the pain we feel a testament to our love? To the love, we felt for them? In some weird way, this hammer? Mjolnir? it saved me. Appearing every time I called for it, by my side through it all, and I want that for you, I want you to feel that you can trust me enough to keep me by your side”. Thor replies, wiping away the tears that glisten from the city lights from your cheeks, dipping his head to lean it against your own.
“Oh Thor” You sigh, the sound of his name ripping through you like an avalanche, the emotions you've kept buried deep within the carcass of your chest finally ripped wide open.
Thor shudders at the sound of his name leaving your pretty lips, gods he was enamoured, the way your soft voice whispered the curves and flicks of his syllables. He wonders how you'd whisper it, how you'd shout it in the throes of pleasure, keening as he filed you to the hilt, dark hair sprawled as he rocked into your slick folds.
“I came to his rooftop as a signal of my resignation to this crazy idea of wielding Mjolnir, to give in, yet again to the harrowing voices that had soon taken over every thought in my brain since my sister's death” You reply, eyes shifting to the murmur of the Hudson, the deep river that held and accepting your darkest admonishes, your darkest secrets with open arms.
“And now, now, you've let me see, Thor, you've let me finally see” You croak, a teary smile as you reach for him, your hands grasping at the hairs on his nape.
“How can I thank you? How can I possibly thank you for believing me, my stupid fears, my regrets, my past? For taking the chance none in years had ever?” You reply
Thor looks down at you, the beginnings of an unravelling love tearing through his features, his eyes shining as the gaze over each slope and line of your face, hands tugging as they grip your waist closer to his towering figure.
God, he thinks he’s always known you were something special, from the moment you had spilt half your coffee on him to the moment you had tackled him down on that rubbery training room floor. The curves of your hips pressing into the hardness of his stomach- Jesus Christ.
He couldn't help but spend his nights imagining you pined under him after that, how pretty you’d look with him taking care of you, and now, with the reality, you would both be faced with, with you being able to imprint your presence in the city and world he loved, his cock throbbed with need.
He could picture it now, your curved back sleeping peacefully in his bed in Asgard, left bare save from the threaded blanket strewn between you both. The shine of the city’s morning light filtered into the large pane windows of the castle. Thor answering calls from the team, before you nudged him gently, the need spreading across your face with the bite of your lip and flutter of your eyes. Throwing the tablet across the room before pressing into you sopping heat with a groan, pressing soft kisses to your neck as he shushes you gently “I know baby, I know, let me take care of you hm?” And oh would he fulfil your every burning, dying wish. 
Thor didn't have much these days, just stolen memories and tobacco-burnt loves. But now, now he felt he had you, entirely, now he felt you had him, wholly. Until all you saw was a man who wanted to love you, and all he saw was a goddess beneath him.
“Hold me tight, My Lady, and don’t ever let go” Thor presses into your neck, before the burning blue light of Mjolnir colours your eyes, the rooftop terrace, and the sky above. The electricity pushing you forth into the sky as Thor guides your hands to the hilt, letting you feel the power that surges in you, the power that is destined and owed to you, and you only.
His Queen.
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Divider by @firefly-graphics !
Requests are always open, however as school begins my updates my be significantly shortened.
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galatially · 1 year
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𝑡ℎ𝑜𝑟 𝑜𝑑𝑖𝑛𝑠𝑜𝑛 
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𝑠𝑢𝑚𝑚𝑒𝑟 𝑙𝑜𝑣𝑒𝑟
𝑤𝑜𝑟𝑙𝑑 𝑤𝑒 𝑐𝑟𝑒𝑎𝑡𝑒𝑑
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midastouch013 · 1 month
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Thor: I have a new game for thy mortals.. it's called "Lift Mjolnir"
Natasha: Because nothing builds teamwork like a bunch of males with fragile egos trying to lift an enchanted thing.
Y/N: I'm, in but can we make it a thumb war instead?
Natasha: smacks head And then there's her
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incorrectquotesmcu · 3 months
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Natasha: What are you doing?
Y/N: I'm leaving! You don't want me here, I'll just make it easier for you!
Steve: No, we want you here, we just want you to play by the rules.
Y/N: I'll pack my bags and go home right now! Would that make you guys all really happy?!
Thor: No, that would not make us happy!
Y/N: I'm sick of this shit! I'm done! I'm done!
Tony, narrating: Y/N is throwing shoes and they're cursing and all I'm thinking is "you are so hard to take seriously wearing those sunglasses!"
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th3-c0rps3-r0gu3 · 8 months
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Natasha: if you could be any animal what would it be?
Wanda: ooh a cat!
Tony: fox.
Steve: eagle
Thor: bear!
Y/n: butterfly.
Natasha: a butterfly? Y'know they only live for like a week.
Y/n: hence why I wanna be one.
Natasha: dekta no.
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waltermis · 7 months
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Just feel like making people cry with me.... I'm sorry... 😭
My baby cared more for people than more people cared for her.... she deserved the world ❤️‍🩹❤️‍🩹
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Text
Marvel reacting to you staring at them.
Tony: what? You need money?
Steve: *smiles* can I help you?
Natasha: *staring contest, she won*
Loki: *smirk* like what you see?
Thor: *confused* what?
Wanda: *head tilt with sweet smile*
Peter P: hey, what—Whats up?
Yelena: *offers her macaroon* you want?
Kate: it there something on my face?
Bruce: *smiles and gets back to work*
Bucky: *leans closer and stares intently*
Clint: *confuse, looks behind then back at you*
Pietro: *snaps his finger*
© anniedvorak to some of the interaction go watch her videos at tiktok
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talesofely · 3 months
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— Desired Reality
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A Natasha Romanoff x Fem!Reader Series
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Summary : Seven people who claimed to be from another universe arrived at the Avengers Tower out of nowhere. The fact that the group of people—NOVA—are essentially Avengers clones only serves to further complicate matters. The only unmistakable distinction between them is that they are of opposing sexes. How will things play out for the two groups of superhumans?
Warnings : Strong Language (Will add more per chapter.)
Pairings : Natasha Romanoff x Fem!Reader
A/n : horrible writing schedule, I'm sorry:( I just rlly miss Natasha that's why I decided to write this! :)
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Vigilantes (New Characters)
Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
...
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wandas6-gf · 1 year
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Y/N: I accidentally ate Thor’s pop tarts, how long do you think I have to live?
Natasha: Ten.
Y/N: Ten what?
Natasha: Nine.
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neonovember · 1 year
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THOR
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reigning expectations
you pick up mjolnir; all hell breaks loose
part two: Your feelings of inadequacy come forth as thor tries to prove that you deserve whats been transcribed by the gods
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vbecker10 · 4 days
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@soubi001 sent me something on tiktok and I thought it sounded like something Loki might say lol so here it is (I added a screenshot from the tiktok below if tie curious what it was originally)
I also remembered there was a meme from a while back that kinda fit here so...
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Tony Stark showing the team around the upgraded pantry after renovations were made to the Tower
Loki: I think that is a bit misleading
Tony: What are you talking about?
Loki: This note, a small family... Is that parents and one child or two? Are the children still young? There is no way four bodies would fit in here
Bruce: What?!
Tony: No, no, no... this is not for bodies!
Natasha: I was thinking the same thing actually
Tony: It's for a small family to store their food!
Loki: Hmm... still seems an odd note
Tony: Can we just move on?
Bruce: Yes please
Walks from the pantry into the kitchen and points out the new appliances
Tony: ... and the new garbage disposal is rated for bones
Loki: What kind? I assure you there is a big difference between a finger and a femur
Tony:...
Clint: I think he means chicken
Loki: Oh, that makes much more sense
Tony and the rest of the team take a small step away from Loki
Loki: This is one of those "there are two types of people" situations I've heard of
Thor: Yes...
Loki: Perhaps I should keep my thoughts to myself for the remainder of the tour?
Tony: Please do
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@soubi001 @michelleleewise @harlequin-hangout @ace-of-gay @xorpsbane @mochie85 @sheris532 @lokiswife-dark-fox-queen @kkdvkyya @animnerd @peaches1958 @peachyjinx @lokiandbuckysdoll @winterfrostlovetriangle @high-functioning-lokipath @winniewings @pics-and-fanfics @cabingrlandrandomcrap @icytrickster17 @lokisgoodgirl @mischief2sarawr @stupidthoughtsinwriting @mjsthrillernp @holdmytesseract @lulubelle814 @crimson25 @goblingirlsarah @janineb86 @chantsdemarins @simone818283 @tonystank8 @im-briana-stan @foxherder @chantsdemarins @catsladen @alexakeyloveloki @siconetribal @lokidokieokie @dragonmurray @honeydew3064 @malfoycassimalfoy @kneelingformyloki
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thelittleliars · 1 year
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Silence (1/4)
Warnings: angst; hurt
Words: 1.2K
Summary: You accidently coming out destroyed a decade long friendship.
AN: Thanks for all the love on my first story "New Year"! I didn't proofread this one so be warned. This might get a Part 2 with a happy ending but I'm not sure.
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[Part 2: Second Chance]
"Movie night later?" You asked Natasha at the dinner table where all the Avengers sat with you.
Natasha nodded her head and smiled at you widely. "Sure. But it better be a horror movie." You loved horror movie nights with her. Neither of you were scared of them but you both laughed at ridiculous scenes and cuddled anyways. 
"So tell me Y/N," Sam interrupted your conversation. "What's going on between you and black widow?"
You looked at him baffled. Natasha and you were friends ever since you both worked at shield together so you didn't get why he implied that more is between you two. "What?" You said.
"Oh come on, you two are super close, doing almost everything together, cuddle all the time, go out, wear each other clothes... there has to something going on between you two." Sam's hint at you liking girls had you shifting in your seat. It was true that you were into girls but you haven't told a soul. Wanda was the only one who might found out about it since she couldn't control her mind reading powers when she first joined the Avengers.
"We're just friends." You told him, with anxiety slowly creeping up on you. The whole team started to listening in on the conversation. "I swear we're just friends." 
"Are you sure that you don't wanna date her?" He wiggled his eyebrows. His words and behavior infuriated you. And with this rage mixed with anxiety, you unknowingly came out to the entire team. "Just because I like girls doesn't mean that I instantly want to date my female friends." 
Some looked shocked, others looked as if they had suspicions and then there was Yelena who looked happy, proud even. "Ha! So I wasn't crazy when I saw Y/N Y/L/N ogle that one girl at the mall months ago. Pay up Kate Bishop." She exclaimed excited. You blushed after hearing Yelena's words, thinking you were subtle checking girls out.
Natasha, who sat next to you, was brooding. She didn't like it one bit that you hadn't told her about your sexuality first. She felt hurt. Did you think she would judge you or not accepting you for liking girls? Were you afraid of losing your (Avengers) family? Or did you simply not trust her with that kinda stuff? You had never held yourself back before so why right then?
"Alright but do you have a girlfriend already or can I be your wingman?" You blushed and hid your face in your hands. "No help needed." You barely got those words out. "Lady Y/N, you have to introduce us to them!" Thor demanded in excitement.
"We've only been on a couple of dates." You blushed further. "Plus she's not out yet so I rather not drop any names." Thor was quiet understanding and dropped the topic. You were honestly glad for that since it ended the whole conversation about you. The topic now was about Tony and Pepper. 
You shifted back your attention to the Widow next to you who was acting strange. Her body language was awkward and you hoped once the movie night started it'd get better. But you were wrong, it got worse, the air between you two was thick and non of you uttered a word about the incident at dinner. 
The red head distanced herself even more from you after the movie night. It hurt you deeply, the pain only got worse with how hard you tried to fix whatever happened, but nothing good came out of it. Natasha shut you out so easily that you overthought your whole relationship with her. In the end you came to the conclusion that you never really knew her.
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It was almost 2 months since the coming out incident happened, while you and Natasha's relationship were in pieces, your relationship with the other ex-shield agent thrived. But you missed the red head dearly. You missed her warmth that radiated off of her when you two cuddled closely during movie nights. Her touch on your arm whenever she was excited to show or tell you something. You even missed her awful dry jokes she made to cheer you up. But all that was left was her ghostly presence which seemed to never leave your side. Not matter what you did, her ghost lingered every single second.
You felt heaviness inside of you as sat down on the bench in the training room, and the spot next to you is empty. Training was no longer fun when you didn't have your favorite person train with you. It felt as if the universe was against you when you saw Natasha enter the training room. What she did here at this unholy hour was beyond you. It made your mood even more sour. 
"Steve said you'd be here." She spoke up. "He said we need to spar again. So move your ass."
Your body hesitated to get up but eventual did with a heavy sigh. Exhaustion was written all over your face. Natasha was already in the ring, waiting for your slow ass to join. Both of you took your stand but non of you tried first to make a move. You both danced around each other which irritated Natasha immensely. She expected a move from you long ago since that was how you always started sparring with her. 
Her irritation turned into frustration and anger fast. And did something she probably will regret for the rest of her life. "Trouble in paradise with Agent Shaw?" She taunted you. "Saw some spicy video of hers the other day." 
That got your complete attention. You knew about Agent Shaw's private video which her ex boyfriend leaked years ago. The video recently surfaced once again and you tried your best to take it down forever. You even begged Tony for help, who was glad to finally have a small challenge again. It took him some time but it was finally gone now but apparently not before the Black Widow saw it.
"Okay..?" What else were you supposed to say to the women you once knew perfectly.
"I have a copy and I'm sure you have one too but in case you don't, I'm willing to-" She got cut off by you punching her in the face. You didn't meant to punch her this hard but you were fed up with her bullshit. 
The blow of the hit was so unexpected and hard that she fell on the ground. She looked up at you stunned as hell, her eyes fluttered a bit while her bottom lip started to bleed.
"What the fuck Natalia." The sight of woman on the floor, looking so helplessly broke your heart once again. You were fighting so hard to get the friendship back that now by realizing your friendship was broken beyond repair, thanks to her behavior, was pain on a whole different level. What you were about to feel is grief from the loss of a decade long friendship. 
Your heart and mind fought against each other but you had enough. Every single bad emotion was roaring in you as you silently said your final goodbye. Also with that, the ghost of hers that you felt all the time, disappeared. 
The silence that hung in the air after you left was loud, it started to suffocate Natasha in a way she didn't know existed. How did she let herself become a monster again? Didn't she learn from her past? No thought in the world would help her in this situation because at the end, nothing mattered anymore since it was her silence that broke you two apart.
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see-the-divine · 7 months
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Kinktober Recs 2023
All Fic Recs
Note: Check the rules of each blog before reading please!! Enjoy 💗
masterlist by @holylulusworld
masterlist by @thyme-in-a-bubble
masterlist by @captainamericasmotercycle
masterlist by @gogogodzilla
masterlist by @lunarbuck
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3mcwritingmcuhcs · 8 months
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How the Avengers Would React to You Falling Asleep on Their Shoulder
(Includes: Thor and Natasha, was gonna do more but i got tired lol, gonna be a part 2 posted later with other Avengers)
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Now, we all know Thor is a huge himbo.
He's huge on physical affection--hugs, ruffling people's hair, patting them on the back--if he has adopted you as his friend, you are now subject to being bombarded with pure, wholesome, himbo interactions.
Now, let's say that one night, during one of the usual movie nights (bc you can't tell me that they didn't have any), you sat down next to him. Well, as we've established, he is very physically affectionate, which means that whoever ends up next to him pretty much volunteers to be his personal teddy bear.
One week it was Steve, the next it was Tony (though if ever brought up, he'd only pull up a video of when Thor did it to Steve), honestly, almost everyone had been in that position.
But this night, you were more tired than usual. Training had been harder that day, you hadn't gotten a great amount of sleep, and you were just exhausted.
Enter Thor's natural cuddliness.
You scooted up next to him on the large couch, leaning your head back against his side. Before you knew it, the comfortable warmth combined with him shifting to where your head was cushioned against his rather voluptuous pecs, had meant you were entirely too comfortable.
Five minutes into the movie and you were out.
Thor didn't notice until Natasha pointed out, too entranced with the strange Midgardian performance on the screen.
"Huh, I guess she wasn't exaggerating when she said she was exhausted," Natasha had commented, making Thor look to his left, only for that movement to cause you to slide.
Luckily, you didn't wake up, and instead only curled closer into his side.
Thor just looked down at you in awe.
You looked so pretty.
He stayed entirely still for the rest of the movie night, determined to let you rest as long as you needed.
He succeeded, but at the cost of him also dozing off on the couch.
The rest of the team saw the content expressions and let you two be, though a certain someone was very tempted to draw mustaches on the both of you.
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Natasha isn't a super touchy person.
After years of being nothing but a weapon for other's use, her bodily autonomy was something she couldn't bear to lose.
That's not to say that she couldn't be autonomous while still having no problem with touch, but she had used her body to get what others wanted for years.
She couldn't just forget all that and be able to hug people like anybody else. She had to work through it. And though she spent years reclaiming herself, making things right, things still stuck.
With the people she genuinely cared about, she was comfortable with physical affection, but she also didn't feel pressured into giving it. She didn't have to act like nothing phased her.
With you, she could just be Nat, not "the Black Widow" or "Natalie Rushman" or even "Natasha Romanoff". She wasn't an Avenger or a spy or an agent.
She was just her.
Given how close the two of you were, you had grown to understand her unease with sudden physical affection.
You respected her boundaries, only giving her that type of affection when she specifically said that it was okay.
One day though, you broke your rule of asking first.
It was dark out, the two of you were on the roof of the compound, looking up at the sky.
You were both sitting up, talking quietly, the occasional laugh exchanged.
But you had severely underestimated how tired you were.
Natasha felt your head rest on her shoulder, being faintly surprised just because you hadn't asked as you usually did.
But when she saw that your eyes were closed and your breathing was slow and even, she smiled softly.
Sure, touch wasn't her forte, but you had never made her uncomfortable, you had never pressured her, you had always stood close (but not too close, because you understood her need for personal space), and smiled at her sincerely no matter what.
Having you fall asleep on her shoulder, well, it just felt like the most pure affirmation that you trusted her.
And maybe she wouldn't let most people do it.
But you weren't most people.
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lazydoodlesandfanfic · 8 months
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Double-Agent (Avengers X Reader) *PLATONIC
Characters: Avengers X Reader
Universe: Marvel, Avengers
Warnings: Talking about torture and experimentation (HYDRA)
Request: Avengers x (22) reader. The reader is has been working for the team for 4½ years being able to use their teleportation, telekinesis, and healing powers to help. They capture Rumlow before he's able to damage in Sokovia and harm anybody. Later while being interrogated he request for the reader. Upon entering the room Rumlow reveals that the reader use to be with Hydra as their parents (mutants) were Hydra agents. He even reveals that the reader used to bring down bases and ruin shield. Later after that conversation the Avengers confront the reader. The reader tells the Avengers that when they saved them from that Hydra prison he was put there for betraying Hydra for Shield.
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It was hard for you to focus on anything in moments like this. Knowing that there was a HYDRA agent nearby always made you hyper focus on everything they were doing, watching their every move, making sure they didn’t do anything. You were usually good at hiding your anxiety, tucking yourself in the corner to be out of the way and rolling a rare coin Steve had given you a while ago between your fingers. However, your team knew you well enough to know what it meant when you did those things, and would try their best to handle the situation themselves and make sure the HYDRA agents never addressed or even looked at you. 
You were thankful for their understanding. They tended to do the same thing for Bucky, though he preferred to not be in the room at all, but you did, just to be there just in case and watch like a hawk. The team never questioned your quirk, because they partially understood. You were a past experiment of HYDRA that they liberated a few years prior, and after some healing, you joined the team as a valuable asset. You could gather information with your telepathy and telekinesis, and could provide immediate on-site medical care if anyone got hurt due to your healing abilities. You were important to the team, and the team always found themselves thanking you for things you did for them, so letting you stand in the corner and monitor any HYDRA agents they captured and interrogated was the least they could do. 
This was another one of those situations, but while you would often look away and listen to what was being said, trying to appear unbothered and simply there as backup for your team, this was different. Because they had Rumlow, and you were the one to capture him. 
It was in no way intentional, more like you saw an opportunity and took it, and it was definitely a good decision- finding he had several powerful bombs on him that he could use at anytime. You stripped him off all weapons, and gave him over to your colleagues, only speaking when necessary. You stayed in the corner, playing with your coin, though whenever Steve glanced in your direction to check on you, he saw you glaring at the man, and the coin was actually floating in your palm, turning rapidly. He could tell you were stressed, and he had no doubt in his mind you had a history with Rumlow, though he didn’t say anything. 
Rumlow was handcuffed to the table in the small interrogation room, and for the most part he just glared straight ahead as Natasha questioned him, Steve behind her, and you in the corner. There was a pane of one sided glass where you knew the rest of the team was watching, Hill and Fury on their way to also monitor- this was a big deal after all. Everyone had thought Rumlow had died years ago, yet here he sat, badly burned from the collision with the helicarrier and the building, but breathing, which you personally found insulting. 
“You sure you don’t want to tell us anything?” Steve asked, leaning on the table, trying to tempt the man to speak. He didn’t say anything and first, but then his eyes moved, and they met yours. The coin stopped dead in the air as a chill ran down your spine, though you didn’t break eye contact. 
“Now that you mention it… Y/N-” He started. Natasha moved to stand in front of you, arms crossed, glaring at him. Steve turned and looked at you, motioning his head for you to leave the room. You didn’t budge. You had to be here- control the situation. 
“Y/N. Out. Now.” Steve ordered, voice low and quiet, but demanding. You swallowed, grabbing the coin from the air, and leaving the room. You took a step to join the others, but you felt the bile rising in your throat, and instead you turned on your heel, going to find somewhere quiet, and the first place that came to mind was the bathroom. 
The rest of the team remained focussed on the interrogation, their intention peaked since he started speaking. “How well do you know Y/N? You sure you should just let them walk around?” He teased them, making eye contact with Romanoff, whose arms were still crossed and presented unphased. 
“We’re here to talk about your crimes, not for you to try and re-traumatise our friend.” Steve scolded, pasing across the room slowly.
“My crimes? What about theirs?” He laughed. Silence fell on the room. 
“What does he mean?” Bruce inquired in a whisper from the other side of the glass, glancing at his friends, who seemed just as confused. “Weren’t they an experiment?” 
“Yeah, they were, that’s how we found them.” Clint confirmed, eyes focussed through the glass. 
“Elaborate.” Natasha demanded sternly. 
“They never told you?” He teased her with a grin. “They’re one of ours. Always was, always will be. Our ears from the inside. Our own Agent Garbo.”
“You’re telling me Y/N is a double agent?” Steve asked. Rumlow only grinned, leaning back in his seat. Him and Natasha shared a look, before they made for the door. “Someone get agents to watch him. Where’s Y/N?” 
You sat on the floor of the stall, trying to calm yourself. You already had an idea on what Rumlow was cooking, knowing if they didn’t let him mess with your head, he’d mess with theirs, pinning you against each other, and you didn’t know what would be the best way to deal with it and resolve the manipulation. This could permanently poison your relationship with your only friends. Your only family.
You heard the door open to the bathroom, and you held your breath, knowing this was it. You tucked your legs closer to you, squeezing your calves, as several footsteps were heard on the tiles. “Y/N?” You heard Tony’s voice call, and you gulped. You hesitated for a moment, before reaching up, unlocking the stall door, letting the door fall open, and it wasn’t long till the entrance to the stall was surrounded by your teammates staring down at you, their expressions ranged. Confused, sad, hurt, angry… “We need you to come with us.” 
You didn’t fight them, standing up, letting Clint grab your arm and escort you through the base, surrounded by the other Avengers, no one speaking, and you knew quickly they were leading you to a holding cell. As you got closer, you turned to Steve. “What did he tell you?” Steve didn’t face you at first, but as Clint shoved you to keep moving, he did, but you didn’t get a chance to read his expression before you were put into the cell, void of any windows or view of the outside, and you looked up at the camera in the corner, before taking a seat on the harsh bed. 
It wasn’t long till you heard the team arguing. It was mostly muffled beyond comprehension, but every so often someone, usually Tony, Thor, or Steve, would raise their voice loud enough to be heard. “Betrayed” “Double agent” and “Liar” Were words you heard frequently, as well as other mumbles, and you were able to gather an idea of what Rumlow had told them. That you were a double agent, a backstabber to the Avengers, the most successful plant and informant that HYDRA had, and for the last few years you had been playing them like fools. Your chest felt tight, trying to figure out what to do, getting up, pacing back and forth as you listened to them argue. You didn’t know who hated you, wanted you dead, or who wanted to hear you out or straight up was on your side. You weren’t sure if any of them were, and if it was just an argument of how to deal with you; a trial or an immediate execution? Was Natasha going to simply walk in and shoot you dead? If a trial is held, what court would hear it? What can you do to defend yourself? It’s Rumlow against you. 
The yelling stopped, and you immediately noticed. There were faint mumbles, but nothing concrete, and then your door opened, making you flint. In stepped Fury. “Agent.” He greeted stoically. You straightened up, head lowered, hands at your side. “Would you mind if we speak alone?” 
“Sir I don’t think-” You heard Vision start, before Fury turned to face out of the door, a glare enough to silence them, before he turned to you. 
“Or would you like them here?” 
“Just us please.” You requested quietly. You didn’t know why you didn’t want them here, force to listen to your side with Fury keeping them under check, but as he entered the room, closing the door behind him, you realised why. You knew you were going to have to talk about what happened, and you didn’t want them to know. 
“Rumlow’s spun a story depicting you as a double agent.” He commented. 
“I heard.” You confirmed, remaining stiff, though you now looked up at him. He met your eyes, before glancing up at the camera, not moving his head, a silent comment. They were watching. 
“Would you mind going over what’s true and what’s not?” He asked you. You nodded, trying to relax your shoulders, though your fists were clenched, along with your jaw. “Are you a double agent?” 
“I was previously.” You admitted. 
“When was that?” 
“Several years ago.” You responded, keeping eye contact with Fury. 
“Can you elaborate for me?” 
“I was a civilian at the time, but I kept up with what was happening with the Avengers and their enemy, HYDRA. I did my own research into them, and after a lot of digging, I found a way into their ranks. I took it.” 
“So you worked for HYDRA?” 
“Correct.” 
“Why did you join them?” Fury asked, moving to lean on the wall, and cross his arms. He was calm, relaxed, his voice monotone and calm, though you understood- you two had had this exact conversation many years ago- when he questioned you after the team pulled you from that HYDRA base. It didn’t make it any easier for you though, your hands shaking, reliving everything in that moment. 
“So I could give information to SHIELD.” You responded, your voice starting to shake. 
“So you were a double agent, a spy, but a spy for us?” 
“Correct, sir.” 
“Even though we didn’t hire or train you to do so? You went in without a back up or team behind you to swoop in, in the case you were found out?” He asked. You couldn’t bring yourself to speak as you nodded. “What information did you provide us in that time?” 
“I leaked details on experiments and projects. The Forest Project, the Kingston Project- that was me. I supplied SHIELD with the names of cover groups they were using to hire people- the same way I found my way in, so they could be stopped to weaken their numbers… I helped roughly 70 prisoners escape… the number passes me, I didn’t keep documentation so there was no trail.” You admitted. 
“82, actually, I had Romanoff track them down and get a status update on them to make sure they’re safe. They are. Several have families now. I didn’t tell Romanoff who it was who freed them, just told her it was an anonymous agent.” Fury confirmed. You smiled to yourself at that, even though knowing Fury just on purpose let slip that he already knew all this information about you, that you’d already discussed this a long time ago. Still, he continued. “Then they found out what you were doing.” 
“That’s right.” 
“What did they do to you, Y/N?” He asked. This was the hardest part. It always was, even back then. It took several hours for you to admit everything to Fury from that hospital bed, and while you were stronger now, more mentally healed, being able to tell your team bits and pieces over the years, dropping it all at your feet right now was just as hard as it was back then. 
“They turned me into their experiment. I’d freed several of their guinea pigs, so all those tests that were prepped for them was used on me, all at once… it hurt. A lot. Sometimes I’ll still feel the needles, the incisions, the burning, the effects like when it was really happening, even years later. After they were done, those did their usual torture techniques- I later found out it was the exact same techniques they used on James to break him. Eventually, the effects of the experiments showed. Some were a failure, but some succeeded… its how I ended up like this.” You expressed, pulling the old coin Steve had given you long ago, letting it float in your fingers, before you placed the coin on the bed, and hugged yourself. “With the healing factor… the torture became worse… knowing they could rip me apart and I’d grow it back and be ready for the next round in just a few hours… there was no point to it. No end goal. They were just punishing me for what I did. For crossing them… I think they probably had goals of breaking me like James and making me another weapon, but that was several years down the line… several more years until I broke.” 
“But that didn’t happen. Because we raided the base and found you there.” Fury finished, and you nodded, only now feeling the salt in your mouth from your tears, sniffing and trying to rub away the tears, your whole body shaking. “And despite it all, you still wanted to do the right thing, and decided to become an official agent for us, and eventually an Avenger. The only person you’ve told exactly what happened to you to being me, since it only matters that I know the full story, until now.” Fury moved from leaning against the wall, walking over and standing in front of you, resting a hand on your shoulder. “I’m sorry you’ve had to relive that experience to prove your innocence and loyalty to your team. Hill is waiting outside, she’ll drive you home. You take as much time as you need to heal from this again. I’ll handle the team and make sure they don’t cause more damage.”
“What about Rumlow?” You asked. 
“I’ll make sure he pays for what he did to both Barnes, and you, everyone else he’s harmed. He isn’t seeing the light of day for the rest of his life, I promise. You’ve done good kid, now go rest.” He told you. The door opened, Hill stepping inside. You silently walked to her, head low as she guided you out, passed your silent team who stared at you, not even knowing what to say as Hill escorted you out. When you were out of the room, Fury stepped out the cell, looking pointedly at the team. 
“You knew this the entire time?” Natasha asked. 
“That I did. I know all your secrets, and it never should have happened that I had to expose Y/N’s biggest secret, especially like that!” He snapped at them, making several flinch. “Why would you believe Rumlow in a situation like this? In the middle of an interrogation? When he is known for being good at causing inner conflict in the team, pitting people against each other, and getting into people’s heads. The second he tried to put attention on an agent who you knew had a history with HYDRA- especially one which involves torture and trauma- you should have shut him up, not heard him out!”
“We know. We’re sorry.” Tony apologised. 
“Not me you should be apologising to, Stark.” Fury reminded. Everyone at that point looked like a kicked puppy, heads low, uncomfortable, but mostly upset and disturbed at what they’d heard. “Do not, and I repeat, do NOT, go and bother Y/N, they were talk to you when they’re ready. They don’t trust you right now, and I don’t blame them. I’m temporarily taking them off the Avenger’s initiative until they feel like they can work with you again. In the meantime, you lot better think of the best way to make up for all of this for when they decide to come back.” 
“IF, they come back.” Thor corrected.
“I would say if, but I know them. Like stated in there, they still want to do good and help SHIELD. They’ll come back, it might not be back to the Avengers, but they’ll come back to SHIELD at least.” Fury told them. “Now stop moping around and deal with Rumlow- and don’t believe a word he says unless you can fact-check!” He ordered. The team nodded, forcing themselves back into work mode, and trying to continue with their work, even if they were all haunted, though now they were a lot more angry at the smug man in the interrogation room. 
Hope you like it! If you have any questions, please send them in!
*Not my gif
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Y/n: Guys, I need help
Tony: Financial help?
Bruce: Emotional help?
Steve: Physical help?
Clint: Family help?
Thor: Magical help?
Natasha: Help moving a body?
*everybody stares at Natasha*
Natasha: ...What?
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