Thorn Bush (Doctor Who Story)
Chapter 31: Deep Breath Part One
Masterlist
A young Amelia Pond comes running up the stairs past the Eleventh Doctor, laughing. She's dressed in the clothes she wore the night she waited.
"Amelia?" Eleven murmurs in surprise.
"Who's Amelia?" Clara questions. She doesn't truly understand what's happening. He can't go.
The Doctor ignores her as another voice speaks up. "Don't forget about me."
The Doctor turns to see it's Kathy standing behind him with a cheeky grin as she walks over. She's dressed in the deep green floor length dress that he first saw her in on Platform One.
"Kathy..."
Clara looks in the direction he's speaking but is confused as she doesn't see her friend.
"The first face this face saw." The Doctor murmurs.
Kathy smiles sadly as she reaches him. "You'll see me soon, Doctor. Just with new eyes." She reaches up and caresses his cheek. "Goodbye Idiot."
The Doctor reaches up to touch her cheek with his hand for a moment then she disappears and he's touching thin air.
He knows it's time.
——
On the south side of the River Thames in London, across from Thorney Island and the Houses of Parliament, a crowd is gathered on the Albert Embankment to watch as a Tyrannosaurus Rex paces and bellows in the river causing the ground to shake. Big Ben rolls causing the dinosaur to roar at it. It's standing taller than the Clock Tower making the creature well over 96 metres tall. Naturally, the crowd screams. Kathy doesn't blame the crowd. A row of terrified Victorian Bobbies, cordoning off gob-smacked members of the public, to keep calm.
Kathy, Jenny, Vastra and Strax are eventually able to push themselves to the front where a jaw-dropped Inspector Gregson stands, staring up at the creature, which to him is impossible. The group already begin sizing up their latest problem – business as usual. As soon as she looks at it, Kathy immediately knows this is a Doctor Who episode, a significant one. She's glad that Ashildr and Carlyle had taken that holiday to Italy now.
"Madame Vastra and Madame Davis, thank God." The Inspector greets. "I'll wager you've not seen anything like this before."
Vastra steps forward, looking up at the bellowing creature. "Well," she throws back her veil, revealing her green, reptile skin, "not since I was a little girl."
"Big fella, isn't he?" Jenny remarks as she gazes up at the creature.
"Dinosaurs were mostly this size. I do believe it's a she." Vastra corrects her wife.
"No, they weren't, I've seen fossils," Jenny argues.
"You forget Jenny, Vastra was there." Kathy retorts amusedly. Excitement is already bubbling up inside her.
"Well, that's all well and good," the Inspector interrupts, "but what's this dinosaur fellow doing in the Thames?"
"It must have time travelled." Vastra turns to Kathy. "Kathy?" She prompts.
Kathy nods and pulls out her scanner. Since she received this gift from River so long ago, it's been through many upgrades. She scans the dinosaur. Ah, just as she thought.
The Inspector looks at them bewildered. "Time travelled?"
"Yes, time travelled," Kathy replies.
The dinosaur begins swaying her head, and seemingly coughing, trying to cough something up. Here we go...
"Is it choking?" Vastra questions.
"My scanner says something is lodged in its throat," Kathy replies though she would've known that anyway.
"How could it time travel?" The Inspector asks, his mind still stuck on the comment.
"I don't know. Perhaps it was something it ate."
Just as Vastra speaks those words, the dinosaur manages to dislodge the obstruction in her throat as she bends over and reaches. A small blue box with a light on top flies out of her mouth and lands the right way up with a plop on the muddy banks of the Thames below the crowd. The TARDIS sits there covered in gunk, rocking slightly. Kathy can't help but grin at the sight of it, while she knows Twelve in this episode is a bit all over the place, she's happy to be seeing him again.
The Inspector quickly pushes through the crowd with the group following behind. "Stand back. Stand back, stand back." He manages to push his way forward to a better vantage point. "Well, it's just laid an egg."
Kathy can't help but let out a snort.
Vastra looks at him exasperated. "It's dropped a blue box marked Police out of its mouth. Your grasp of biology, it troubles me."
"We'll take care of this, Inspector." Kathy states, ushering the others to follow.
"But what if that thing goes on the rampage?" The Inspector questions.
Vastra takes a sack from Jenny and passes it to the Inspector. She takes what looks like a high-tech lantern from the sack. "Place these lanterns on the shoreline and bridges, encircling the creature at twenty foot intervals."
"What will they do?"
"They will emit a signal that will incline it to remain within their circumference," Kathy explains. "But don't have it too high, they'll give her a headache if you do."
"So, it's him, then, the Doctor?" Jenny questions as they go down the stone stairs to the riverbank.
"It's him alright. I know." Kathy replies as they reach the bottom.
"Well, just to be sure..." Vastra remarks. "Strax, if you wouldn't mind?"
Strax goes striding up the TARDIS and bangs his fist on the door. "Hello? Exit the box and surrender to the glory of the Sontaran empire."
A moment then one of the doors is suddenly pulled open and the familiar face, to Kathy anyway, of Twelve pops out for a moment – "Shh!" – and slams the door closed.
"Doctor?" Strax calls hesitantly.
He pops out again. "I was being chased by a giant dinosaur, but I think I managed to give it the slip." He slams the door again.
Kathy glances at said dinosaur. Somehow, she doubts his statement.
Strax looks at them, bewildered. Then the doors open more slowly. The Doctor is peering out at Strax, quizzical like he's trying to place a memory. He's clearly still dazed from his regeneration, and still dressed in the previous Doctor's clothes but no bow tie. Kathy feels sorry for him, for all versions of the Doctor. To go through a change and be so frazzled and confused.
"Sleepy?" The Doctor murmurs.
"Sir?"
"Bashful? Sneezy? Dopey? Grumpy." He grins at the last word. Then he sees Vastra and Jenny and walks towards them. "Oh, you two. The green one and the not-green one. Or it could be the other way round, I mustn't prejudge." His wild eyes land on Kathy and gestures at her. "And you, the, uh, always hanging around one, the telling me off one."
Kathy smiles kindly. "Yep, that's me." There are probably the worst descriptions.
Clara then appears, very dishevelled. Clearly, she's been through hell in the last few minutes.
The Doctor points at her. "Oh, you remember, er. Thingy. The, er, the not-me one. The asking questions one. Names not my area."
"Clara," Kathy tells him as she hurries over to the companion, wrapping her in a hug. "You alright?"
"Been better," Clara says as they pull back, giving her a shaky smile. "It's good to see you."
"Well, it might be Clara. Might not be. It's a lottery." The Doctor rambles.
"It is Clara!" Clara retorts.
"Well, I'm not ruling it out." The Doctor suddenly freezes, spinning around to stare at her. "Wait, no, I remember you. You're Handles. You used to be a little, a little robot head, and now you. You've really let yourself go."
A huge bellow from the dinosaur above. "Oi! Big man! Shut it!" The Doctor yells before he does a double take. "You've got a dinosaur too!"
"Uh, no, I believe it is yours," Kathy remarks, sending Clara a smirk, trying to bring some humour to help the shaken companion. She receives the same shaky smile.
The dinosaur lets out a bellow in displeasure at the Doctor's misgendering. "Big woman, sorry."
Clara now cautiously approaches the Doctor. "Doctor, listen to me. You, you need to calm down."
The Doctor ignores her, speaking to the dinosaur. "I'm not flirting, by the way."
"I think something's gone wrong," Clara says, frantically.
"It's a new regeneration cycle." Kathy tries to reassure her. "It will be a bit more difficult for the Doctor to get used to than a normal regeneration... not that his regenerations happen that normally."
"How do you know it's saying that?" Strax questions the Doctor.
The Doctor spins around to face Strax. "Come on, Clara. You know that I speak dinosaur."
"He's not Clara." Clara gestures at Strax before gesturing at herself. "I'm Clara."
The Doctor stares at the two with a confused look. "Well, you're very similar heights. Maybe you should wear labels?" He then frowns, squinting at them. Kathy knows he's going to keel over soon. "Why, why are you all doing that? Why are you? You're all going dark and wobbly. Stop that." He backs away from them.
"I don't think we are."
"Never mind. Everyone take five." The Doctor closes his eyes, sways, and then falls over. Clara and Kathy rush over to him to check he's okay.
"What do we do?" Clara questions.
"I don't understand. Who is he? Where's the Doctor?" Jenny asks.
"Right here. I told you. This is the Doctor." Kathy states.
"Well then, here we go again." Vastra remarks.
——
Getting a newly regenerated Doctor dressed and into bed to rest is a nightmare Kathy realises. It takes quite a bit of effort for Vastra and Kathy to convince the Doctor to change into a nightshirt. Kathy tries to explain to him that he needs to sleep to let his body settle after a regeneration, particularly this one.
Eventually, the Doctor is in a full length night shirt but now it's a struggle to get him into bed as he now takes offence at the guest room they are standing in.
"It's simply misunderstandable to me. I don't know what it is. Who invented this room?" The Doctor complains as he flails around the room. He opens the door and Clara and Jenny, who were obviously listening at the door, nearly fall inside.
"Doctor, please, you have to lie down." Kathy pleads with him.
"It doesn't make sense. Look, it's only got a bed in it. Why is there only a bed in it?" The Doctor continues to question. Kathy and Clara follow him, placatory, as he continues about the room.
"Because it's a bed room. It's for sleeping in." Clara tries to explain.
"Okay, what do you do when you're awake?"
"You leave the room," Jenny says.
"So, you've got a whole room for not being awake in." He receives nods from Clara and Jenny but Kathy knows that's just going to confuse him further. "But what's the point? You're just missing the room." He suddenly runs over to the mirror in the room. "And don't look in that mirror. It's absolutely furious."
"Doctor, I told you, you're just not used to your eyebrows." Kathy tries to gently explain, trying to coach him towards the bed. "You have to lie down. You keep passing out. You always say rest is important during the process."
"Well, of course, I keep passing out. There's all these beds." The Doctor retorts. "Why do you keep talking like that? What's gone wrong with your accent? Why—"
Oh great, this bit.
"Nothing's wrong with her accent." Jenny interrupts.
This distressed the Doctor further. "You sound the same. It's spreading. You all sound all... English. Now you've all developed a fault."
"Doctor, I need your help with something." Vastra interrupts, speaking with a Scottish accent.
The Doctor relaxes. "Finally, someone who can talk properly."
"I'm having difficulty sleeping." Vastra begins pulling him towards the bed.
"Oh? Oh, well, I wouldn't bother with that, I never bother with sleep, and I just do standy-up catnaps." The Doctor says.
"Oh really, how interesting. And when do you do those?" Vastra questions.
"Well, generally whenever anyone else starts talking. I like to skip ahead to my bits. It saves time." The Doctor replies. If anyone is in doubt about him being the Doctor, that ended any doubt.
Vastra gets him on the bed. "Save me time, Doctor. Project an image of perfect sleep into the centre of my mind."
"What, do you want a psychic link with me? The size of my brain, it would be like dropping a piano on you." The Doctor warns her. Kathy presses her lips together, so she doesn't laugh.
"Be gentle, then."
"I'll try. Brace yourself. Piano."
The Doctor closes his eyes, and touches his hands to Vastra's temples, mirroring her. Boing! Doctor flops back unconscious onto the bed, sound asleep. Kathy lets herself laugh at that.
"I love monkeys. They're so funny." Vastra remarks, back in her English accent.
"Oh, I see. So, people are monkeys now, are they?" Jenny comments to her wife.
"No, dear. People are apes. Men are monkeys." They tuck the Doctor up in bed.
Kathy grins. "Of course."
"So, what now?" Clara asks.
"He needs rest," Vastra tells her.
"So, what do we do? How do we fix him?"
A silence. Jenny and Vastra exchange a look. Vastra sends a narrow look at Clara. Like she isn't pleased.
Kathy looks at the companion sharply. "Fix him?" She knew this was going to happen but for some reason, she had hoped it would be different.
Clara nods, immediately looking uncertain.
"Jenny," Vastra says, "I will be in my chamber. Would you be kind enough to fetch my veil?"
"That's not necessary, Vastra." Kathy stops her. "I'll explain. I believe Clara's just a bit overwhelmed."
The companion looks affronted at the fact that Vastra and Kathy are having a conversation as though she isn't in the room. Vastra, after a moment, nods and leaves the room with Jenny. Clara looks in bewilderment at Jenny, who just avoids her eye, as the maid leaves.
Clara looks at Kathy. "What have I done wrong?"
Kathy just turns to the window, where they can hear the dinosaur still. There is a terrible roar, distant, from the river.
"What's wrong with it?" Clara asks.
Kathy shrugs. "The Doctor's the one that speaks dinosaur. She's probably distressed."
"Where did he get that face?" Kathy turns to find Clara now kneeling by the bed, watching the Doctor. "Why's it got lines on it? It's brand new. How can his hair be all grey? He only just got it."
"It's still him. You saw him change." Kathy says instead of replying to questions that she has answers to. She was there when the Doctor realised why he chose this face.
"I know. I do. I, I know that." Clara quickly replies, stumbling in a way that shows she isn't as sure as she wants to be.
Kathy lets it slide for now. "Good."
"It's just—"
"What?"
"Nothing." Kathy turns back to the window. "It- it's just that..." Kathy turns back to Clara, "how do you do it? How do you meet so many versions of the Doctor and still know it's him?"
Kathy shrugs again. "Because despite the odd quirk, they are still the Doctor at their core. They will always be the Doctor."
"Excuse me, ma'ams." Jenny catches Kathy's attention. "Wouldn't it be better to let him sleep in quiet?"
"I think we'll follow you," Kathy says. "Let the Doctor get rest. We need to talk privately."
Kathy walks out of the room to find Strax standing there. "Strax, we're going to my chambers."
"Very good, Madam." The Sontaran butler replies. "May I take your coat, boy?"
Clara looks confusedly down at her clothes. "Not wearing a coat."
Now Strax is confused. Kathy tries desperately not to laugh as Strax gestures at Clara. "What's all that then?"
"Clothes."
"May I take your clothes?"
"Probably not."
"Are you wearing a hat?"
"It's hair."
"No, I think it's a hat. Would you like me to check?"
Kathy bursts out laughing. "Okay, Strax, leave her alone. She's fine." Kathy urges Clara to follow her.
——
Kathy leads Clara towards a small room a bit down the hall, more like a study mixed with a sitting room. Once they are inside, Kathy leans back against the desk and gives Clara a look to let her know it is time for questions.
"Where did he get that face? Why's it got lines on it? It's brand new. How can his hair be all grey? He only just got it." Clara speaks extremely quickly but goes silent when Kathy holds up a hand.
"When Time Lords regenerate, they can become anything: old, young, man, woman, brunette, grey, white, black," Kathy explains. "But, on average, it's a complete lottery, with almost no control over what face you get even if it's an unconscious decision."
"He's so old though," Clara argues.
"It didn't seem to bother you when we met the other Doctors. The one right after the war looked older too. Not quite as much as this face." Kathy reasons.
"Yes, but I guess it was different when the one I was used to was still around," Clara admits.
"I've dealt with it more than you. This is the fifth version I've known. Well, sixth, if you count the War Doctor though that was only for a short while. It'll be hard to get used to the changes, but we'll get through it. The Doctor that we know, and love is still in there. Just the packaging has changed." Kathy sits next to Clara and holds her hands in hers, the two of them sit next to each other closely. "Remember? Same sonic, different case? As I said before the Doctor is always the Doctor. Do you understand, Clara?"
"I...I think so." Clara stutters blushing. "But why did he choose this one?"
"Spoilers," Kathy smirks causing Clara to smile. "But right now, the Doctor needs us. He is lost in himself, trying to learn who he is all over again and we must bring him home."
Kathy suddenly gasps and glances around. She has just felt something change in her mental connection with the Doctor.
"What is it?" Clara asks worriedly.
"The Doctor. He's awake again and just ran off somewhere." Kathy tells her. Just as she says those words, what sounds like the dinosaur roaring in pain echoes through the house. Oh, no. She had been so focused on Clara that she'd forgotten about the dinosaur.
"That came from the river," Clara observes.
"The dinosaur. Strax! Bring the carriage, now!" Kathy yells, storming out of the room.
——
Kathy, Vastra, Jenny and Clara pile into the carriage with Strax at the helm, careering down the streets towards the Thames.
"Come on, Strax." Va'stra urges. He cracks the whip. "That's better!"
"You think the Doctor has gone to the dinosaur?" Clara questions.
Kathy nods. "Positive. There is trouble – where else would he be?"
Strax eventually brings the carriage to a halt and they get out. Kathy can see the tall figure of the Doctor in the flapping nightshirt standing on the wall, silhouetted against the pall of smoke and flame.
Vastra pulls the hat pin from her hat, raises it in the air, and presses a button. The carriage behind them chirps like a car alarm, and the door slams shut of its own accord. Now, in the firelight, the five of them make their way to join the Doctor. He remains standing on the wall, they stand below.
The Doctor doesn't look around, but clearly knows they are there. "She was scared. She was scared and alone. I brought her here and look what they did." Tears are streaming down his face.
"Who or what could have done this thing?" Vastra questions.
"No." The Doctor says softly.
"I'm sorry?"
"No." The Doctor says, louder this time. "That is not the question. That is not where we start."
"Then what is the question, Doctor? Tell us." Kathy says, approaching him, careful, tactful.
"A dinosaur is burning in the heart of London. Nothing left but smoke and flame." He turns to them. "The question is, have there been any similar murders?"
There's a pause from those standing next to Kathy but then Vastra is frowning, in growing realisation. "Yes! Yes, by the Goddess, there have!"
The Doctor has raised his eyes, looking along the banks and the other bridges. "Look at them all, gawking. Question two. If all the pudding brains are gawking, then what is he?"
Kathy turns, following where the Doctor is pointing. A figure calmly crosses the bridge, unfazed by the tragedy in front of him. The half-face man. A droid using parts of people to keep itself alive.
"He seems remarkably unmoved by the available spectacle," Vastra observes.
"Indeed," Kathy replies, feeling a bit unnerved that this droid is just walking around in dead people's skin.
"Do you think that is whoever—" As she speaks, Clara has turned away from the Doctor, but breaks off as the sound of a loud splash is heard from below. Clara throws herself at the wall and looks down. "What he's doing? He'll drown."
"He hasn't." Kathy counters.
"Why?"
"There has been a murder. The Doctor has taken up the case. If we are to see him again, we must do the same." Vastra declares.
——
Kathy knows they just need to wait for Missy to put that advert in the newspaper to find the Doctor again, but she doesn't see any harm in sending out the Paternoster Irregulars in force.
Kathy comes to visit Clara the next morning in her assigned bedroom. The companion is wearing a nightdress, morning light streaming in the windows.
"How are you?" Kathy calls gently, not wanting to startle her.
Clara turns from her washstand; she looks troubled and tousled. "Never better." Clara tiredly mutters.
Kathy opens her mouth to say something but then there's a noise from outside. Shouts and grunts, and the clattering of hooves. Both of them turn to the window.
"Come on, Earthling scum! Position it here." Comes Strax's voice. "That's it. Careful..."
Kathy and Clara pop their heads out the window to see a horse and cart, with the TARDIS sitting inside, parked in the backyard. A few workmen are manhandling the big blue box onto the cobbles. Strax supervises.
"Don't get it scratched or you and all your bloodline will be obliterated from time and space." The Sontaran butler threatens.
"Very good, sir."
"Be nice to them, Strax!" Kathy calls.
Strax looks up at them. "These scum do not deserve your mercy." He retorts.
"You got the TARDIS, then?" Clara observes.
"Military tactics. The Doctor is still missing, but he will always come looking for his box. By bringing it here, he will be lured from the dangers of London to this place of safety, and we will melt him with acid." Strax gleefully clenches his fist as he utters that last phrase.
Kathy shares an amused look with Clara before sending Strax a raised eyebrow. "Strax..."
Strax repeats the clenching of his fist but more calmly. "And we will not melt him with acid. Old habits." He pulls a rolled up paper from under his arm. "The Times. Shall I send it up?"
"Yeah, why not?" Clara says.
Kathy ducks out of the way as Strax throws the rolled-up newspaper. It hits Clara squarely between the eyes and knocks her down.
Kathy can't help the bubble of laughter that erupts from her as she crouches down beside her, picking up the paper and grimacing when she sees the title.
Clara groans on the floor, hand on her head. "Why didn't you warn me?!"
"Ouch, the Times." Kathy comments. "Quite a hefty one, isn't it?"
"Did he have to throw it at me?" Clara grumbles as Kathy helps her up.
——
Kathy enters the kitchen and sees an upright Clara dressed and coiffured in the late Victorian style sitting at the table with Strax leaning close. He has his monocle device out and is shining the green light at her forehead. Kathy smirks to herself, she remembers this.
Kathy has completed the interrogation of the Camberwell child poisoner and has left Vastra to sort out her meal.
"Now that's interesting," Strax observes as Kathy walks past them to get a cup of water and gives the bucket of water Strax has been using to clean the floor a wide berth.
"What? What's interesting?" Clara questions.
"Deflected narcissism. Traces of passive aggressive. And a lot of muscular young men doing sport." Strax observes.
Kathy tries not to laugh as she sips her drink, leaning against the kitchen cupboards as she watches the two.
"What are you looking at?"
"Your subconscious," Kathy tells her. Clara looks mildly startled at that.
"Is that sport? It could be sport. Who's that? It looks like—"
Clara abruptly flicks down the lens, blushing slightly as she glances at where Kathy stands. Kathy stares curiously back, where was Strax going with that?
"Well, stop looking," Clara tells Strax, shifting uncomfortably.
Strax concedes and switches lenses. "Moving onto the thorax, such as it is." The green light makes Clara's ribcage visible. "Ah, excellent. Enviable spleen. Well done." This causes Clara to perk up a little. "Twenty seven years old, with a projected lifespan of exactly—"
"Ah! No more, Strax." Kathy quickly interrupts. She feels something twisting her insides as she thinks of Clara's death in the show.
"Oh, you're going to do quite well." Strax continues. "But watch out for fluid retention later. It's going to be spectacular. Well, put your clothes back on."
"They are on." Clara retorts.
"Oh yes, so they are."
Clara takes his scanner from him and puts it on the table. "Why are you doing this?"
"If we are to serve together, I need you in peak physical prowess, eh?" Strax playfully punches Clara's arm. Kathy winces, oh dear.
"Ow," Clara complains before abruptly standing. "Why would we be serving together? The Doctor's going to come back, isn't he?"
Kathy quickly walks over. "He is."
Clara looks relieved until Strax decides to add, "It is to be hoped."
"He's not just going to abandon me here." Clara looks at Kathy, pleadingly.
"You must stop worrying about him, my boy," Strax reassures her. "By now, he's almost certainly had his throat cut by the violent poor." Or do the opposite.
Clara looks upset by this and quickly leaves.
Kathy sighs, shaking her head. "Strax, you know how we talked about comforting people? The lessons?"
"Yes?"
"You're not doing very well at it."
——
Vastra looks up from her easel as the door opens to omit Kathy. Standing in the centre, is Jenny, barely dressed, her modesty protected only by a strategically draped white cloth - she is posing elegantly like a classical nymph in a painting but she pulls the shawl closer together at the sound of someone entering.
"Yowzah." Kathy declares at the sight of the young woman. "You're beautiful as always, Jenny."
"Ah, Katherine." Vastra greets, pulling her attention away from her wife. "You're back."
"Yes, eat well?"
"Of course."
Kathy motions behind her. "Am I interrupting anything? I can go and come back." It's quite funny when she knows Vastra isn't even painting like Jenny thinks she is.
"I certainly do not mind, how about you my love?" Vastra asks Jenny, who shakes her head.
Kathy smiles but shuts the door behind her again, making sure to block the view of anyone who may walk past unannounced. "How's the investigation going?" She asks, walking around till she sits in a chair nearby.
"I have been thinking upon what the Doctor said. The dinosaur burnt into a crisp, nothing remained, yet he seemed to think it was murder." Vastra replies.
"Funny way to murder someone if you ask me," Jenny says.
"Yes, you could almost say it wasn't exactly well-hidden." Kathy agrees.
Vastra's face lights up when she catches what Kathy's implying. "Not every murderer wants to be hidden, my dear. Some want to get caught."
"And what better way than burning a dinosaur?" Kathy agrees. "I assume you've found the related murders of people just spontaneously combusting?" Vastra nods.
"Is that like love at first sight?" Jenny asks.
"Huh! A little." Vastra agrees with a little laugh. "It is the theory that human beings can, with little or no inducement, simply explode."
Jenny shoots her a grin. "You don't need to flirt with me, we're already married."
"It's scientific nonsense, of course," Vastra replies.
Jenny frowns. "Marriage?" She asks and Kathy snickers. She likes to watch these two bounce off each other.
"Oh, most definitely," Kathy says. "Do tell me about what you've discovered, Vastra."
"Nine reported incidents of people apparently exploding in the last month," Vastra says with a thoughtful look on her face as she looks over the other side of the easel.
"And you think they weren't spontaneous." Jenny surmises.
"I think whoever killed the dinosaur had at least nine previous victims," Vastra confirms, turning the easel around to reveal a map of London with news articles dotted around it. Pins marked off where the nine victims have been found, red string joining up their respective pieces of information. "All of these perished in the same spectacular fashion."
Kathy can't help but giggle at the look on Jenny's face, who isn't best pleased to see what her wife has been working on. "I thought you were painting me!" She snaps.
"I was working." Vastra offers as an excuse as Kathy stands up, walking over to the board as they have a little quarrel behind her. It is cute, they love each other so much but it is always nice to see Jenny put Vastra in her place, but she really does have more important things to focus on. Kathy wants to take the chance to look at Vastra's findings in a way she hadn't been able to do before when watching the show.
"The important question is," Kathy interrupts, cutting off their argument so that they can get back on track, "why destroy the victims so completely? It's difficult, it draws attention. What advantage is to be gained?" She looks at the duo pointedly.
Jenny rolls her eyes, still irritated with her wife. "Well, tell us, then."
"Concealment."
"Concealment?"
"Exactly... by destroying the body so completely, you conceal what is missing from it." Vastra realises.
"Missing from the body?" Jenny clocks on.
"Kathy!" The door flies open, and Clara comes dashing in, clutching a newspaper. She ignores Jenny hurriedly wrapping her shawl even more tightly around her as she runs over to where Kathy stands. "Kathy!"
"Clara, excellent. Pop your clothes on that chair there." Vastra greets. She receives a disgruntled look from her wife.
"Look." Clara shows them the Times newspaper.
"Advertisements, yes. So many. It's a distressing modern trend." Vastra remarks.
Kathy rolls her eyes amusedly. No, that's not what she's showing us. She takes the Times that's been shoved in her face and places it on a table and points. One advert in the personal column says - Impossible Girl. Lunch on the other side?
——
A little while later, Strax is serving tea to them all. The girls are now in work mode, Jenny back in her clothes. Vastra is studying the paper. Clara is pacing. Kathy lounges as she watches everything unfold.
"There appears to be nothing of significance in the rest of the newspaper. Not even in the agony column." Vastra complains.
"We can't know it's from the Doctor." Jenny points out.
"Of course, it's from the Doctor." Clara retorts. "The Impossible Girl, he's the only one to call me that other than Kathy."
"And I know I didn't do it," Kathy adds.
"How do you know for sure?" Jenny questions doubtfully.
Kathy shrugs, sipping her tea. "I just do."
She knows who did and she can't tell them. Kathy wonders if Missy knew what kind of restaurant she is leading them to or was it a happy coincidence on her part?
"He says lunch, but not when or where?" Vastra says.
"On the other side? The other side of London? Bit vague." Jenny observes.
"The other side of regeneration, perhaps, once he's recovered?" Vastra theorises.
"So, what am I supposed to do, guess where we're meeting?" Clara questions.
"Ah, but why do that? Why do puzzles?" Kathy questions, trying to lead them in the right direction.
Clara begins to realise what she's saying. "He wouldn't..."
"So?"
"So, keep it dead simple. On the other side."
She holds the page up to the light. There is another advert directly behind hers, so she turns it over to read it. Mancini's Family Restaurant, the Best Dinner in London. Kathy would have to disagree with that description.
——
Kathy immediately offers to accompany Clara as 1. She doesn't want Clara wandering around Victorian London on her own and 2. She doesn't want Clara to be on her own in this place with an unstable Doctor. Plus, this is a location she knows the Doctor will be and these androids need to be stopped so...
Kathy leaves a message with Vastra, Jenny and Strax that if she and Clara take too long – which they will – then they should come quickly.
They find the building that looks just as it is depicted in the advert. Kathy is struck by how normal it all looks as people pass by, unaware of the horrors inside. They peer inside, through the windows. Kathy can see the blurry figures of solemn Victorian diners. Kathy swallows uncomfortably as she thinks about what they really are.
"Can't see him," Clara says.
"We probably need to wait for him inside," Kathy says. Let's get this over with.
She goes inside and sits by herself on a curved bench seat in a wall alcove at the rear of the restaurant, with a small round table in front of it. The restaurant has other customers but is very quiet. Kathy watches them closely as Clara examines the advert again.
It's then that Kathy gets a whiff of a really bad smell just as Clara does. Kathy slaps a hand over a mouth while Clara coughs as she fans the air with the paper. They both look over to the Doctor, now sitting next to them, with a disgruntled look.
He sits there unperturbed as he is still wearing his nightshirt, but now there is a filthy great coat over it and a pair of battered old boots on his feet. "What's wrong?"
Clara sends him an incredulous look. "I don't know. Maybe the smell?"
"I know. It's everywhere." The Doctor mutters, looking about himself suspiciously.
Clara gives Kathy a questioning look. Kathy just shrugs. The Doctor is always a bit off after a regeneration though she's only experienced a newly regenerated Eleven before this.
Clara sighs. "Where did you get that coat?"
The Doctor clears his throat awkwardly. "Er, ahem, I bought it." He lies, badly.
Kathy raises an eyebrow, probably giving off disappointed mother energy. "No, you didn't. I know. Why don't you tell Clara where you really got it?"
The Doctor looks down with a pout. "Might have been a tramp." He admits.
Clara narrows her eyes suspiciously. "How?" She asks curtly.
"Er, I had a watch."
"No. That watch was beautiful." Clara cries.
"It was my favourite."
"You swapped your favourite watch for that coat. That's maybe not a good deal." Kathy remarks. She makes a mental note to find said tramp and try and get that watch back.
"Well, I was in a hurry. There was a terrible smell." The Doctor smiles and laughs a little at that. It causes an uptick in Kathy's lips. Early Twelve was always so serious it was only during his tenure that he began to be more relaxed.
"No. No, don't. Don't. Don't. Don't smile." Clara immediately retorts. "Only Kathy can smile. You, on the other hand, will wait until I smile first and then you know it's safe to smile."
"Are you cross with me?"
"I am not cross. But if I was cross, it would be your fault and..." Clara hesitates before admitting, "...yes, I am cross."
"I guessed that."
"I am extremely cross."
"And if I hadn't changed my face, would you be cross?"
Kathy stays silent as she watches the back and forth. She's trying not to stare too much at the other "customers" so they don't realise she knows.
"I would be cross if I wasn't cross." Clara snaps, frowning at him.
"Why?"
"Why?" Clara set down her menu aggressively, before calming down. "An ordinary person wants to meet someone that they know very well for lunch. What do they do?"
Kathy winces as even if she doesn't know what is going to happen, it is easy to anticipate how much of a train wreck this is going to be.
"Well, they probably get in touch and suggest lunch."
"Mhmm. Okay, so what sort of person would put a cryptic note in... in a newspaper advert?"
"Well, I wouldn't like to say."
"Oh, go on. Do say." Clara presses.
"Well, I would say that that person would be an egomaniac, needy, game-player sort of person." The Doctor replies.
Kathy groans quietly, "Oh no."
"Oh, thank you. Well, at least that hasn't changed." Clara says.
Kathy rests her chin on the table, covering the top of her head with her hands. "Take cover." She mutters quietly.
"And I don't suppose it ever will." The Doctor goes on, making Clara chuckle.
"No, I don't suppose it will either."
"Clara, honestly, I don't want you to change. It was no bother, really. I saw your advert. I figured it out. I'm happy to play your game." The Doctor says, placing his hand on hers. To be honest, the beginning bit was quite cute.
"Shots fired, shots fired," Kathy muttered, eyes shifting between the clueless Doctor and Clara
The companion is steadily growing angrier as realisation dawns on her. "No. No, no. I didn't place the ad. You placed the ad."
"No, I didn't."
"Yes, you placed the ad. I figured it out. Impossible Girl', see? Lunch." She says, showing him the paper.
He takes it, pointing it back at her. "No, look. The impossible... That is a message from the Impossible Girl."
"For the Impossible... Girl." Clara argues before they both figure it out.
"Ooh."
"Oh."
"Well, if neither of us place that ad, who placed that ad?"
They both turn to Kathy, and she immediately bolts upright and waves her hands about. "O-Oh no. Wasn't me. Honest."
Clara gives her a look though. "Kathy, did you know about this?"
Kathy winces. "Well, maybe."
"Why didn't you say anything?!" Clara snaps.
Kathy cringes, maybe she should've said something. "Sorry, w-we needed to find the Doctor and this was the only place I knew he'd turn plus we need to be here anyway cu—"
"Hang on." Clara cuts her off, holding up a finger before turning to the Doctor. "Egomaniac, needy, game-player?"
"This could be a trap." The Doctor says, ignoring her as he looks around the room suspiciously.
"That was me?"
"Never mind that." He frowns, but she isn't quite finished.
"Yes, I am minding that."
"Clara."
"You were talking about me?" She questions again.
The Doctor rolls his eyes. Clara, what is happening right now in this restaurant to you and me is more important than your egomania."
"Nothing is more important than my egomania." Clara retorts.
Kathy raises an eyebrow. "Did you really just say that?"
"He is to never mention that again." Clara cries.
"It's a vanity trap. You're so busy congratulating yourself on solving the puzzle, you don't notice that you're sticking your head in a noose." The Doctor has plucked a hair from his own head.
"What are you doing?" Clara questions as the Doctor examines the single hair. "And that isn't the only grey one, if you are, er, having a cull."
"What, do you have a problem with the grey ones?" The Doctor now holds up the single hair and lets it drop to the floor, watching as it falls.
"If I got new hair and it was grey, I would have a problem." Kathy side eyes Clara at that.
"Yeah, I bet you would."
"Meaning?"
"It's too short." He pulls a hair from Clara's head.
"Ow," Clara complains. "Why not Kathy's?"
"She hasn't doubted me, and it was the only one out of place. I'm sure that you would want it killed." The Doctor retorts.
Clara still hasn't caught up to what he's doing. "Ooo. Are you trying to tell me something?"
"He's trying to measure the air disturbance in the room," Kathy explains.
"Right. Moments when you know you are boring." Clara casually remarks, looking at the paper again.
The Doctor holds the hair below the table edge and lets it go. It falls slowly downwards. "There is something extremely wrong with everybody else in this room."
"Mmm. Basically, don't you always think that?" Clara counters.
"He's being serious, Clara. As carefully as you can, watch them. Something is very wrong here." Kathy insists.
Heeding her warning, Clara cautiously glances at the patrons sitting around them. "They look fine to me. They're just eating."
"Are they?" Kathy presses and she looks again.
Kathy knows Clara is now seeing what Kathy had noticed as soon as she walked inside. The knives and forks are clattering away but no food is being raised to the mouths. The cutlery is repeatedly being brought up to the mouth and lowered again, still full.
Clara is freaked now but fighting it. "Okay, no. No, they're not eating." She acknowledges.
"Something else they're not doing." The Doctor whispers as he plucks another hair from Clara's head and tosses it to watch it fall. "Breathing!"
——
A/N: Part two is coming
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