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star-sim · 4 months

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"is your girlfriend single?" ☆ enha maknaes

☆ youtuber! non-idol! bf! enhypen maknae line x fem! reader ☆ summary: when your youtuber boyfriend finally shows you for the first time to his audience. ☆ genre: fluff, very dumb, jelly boys ☆ warning(s)? no! ☆ ygs seemed to like the hyung version so here's the maknae version!! reblogs and comments are appreciated <3

hyung ver.

sunoo ☆

OKAY HEAR ME OUT

this one is gonna be a lil different

paranormal investigator sunoo

he's like buzzfeed unsolved

and for one of his seasons, he goes and investigates haunted places and reviews their histories yk?

for the season finale

sunoo visits the bellaire house, which is notorious for being super haunted and ghost-infested

i like to think that sunoo is honestly skeptical abt ghosts

like he definitely has tried to talk to them, but hasn't discovered anything conclusive to definitively prove the existence of ghosts

anyways because it's the season finale

sunoo has a special guest...

you! his gf!

i think he'd be low key about your relationship, but his viewers know who you are

the video starts off normal

sunoo gives a rundown of the history of the bellaire house, like when it was built, the people that lived in it, the strange occurences in there, etc

the bickering between you and sunoo as you go over the bellaire house is very cute and sweet

it definitely makes it into those "sunoo and [name] being a comedic duo" compilations aw

anyways now its time to investigate the bellaire house head on 😈

sunoo pulls out all his cool ghost-catching gadgets

he tries everything

like the thermal camera, EMF meter, even the goddamn magnetic field detector

sunoos getting annoyed bc why are none of the ghosts talking to him :(

on the other hand

you're clinging onto him, hiding behind ur bf scared shitless

i mean like.... why would you not the bellaire house is known for having DEMONS 😭😭

sunoo huffs and turns to the camera, "welp it looks like there's no ghosts here"

one of the people in his camera crew suggest having you ask instead of him

even though youre scared you do it for ur bf

you're like "hi ghosts..... if you're here with us... please flicker the lights"

THE LIGHTS BEGIN TO FLICKER AAAAAAAA

AND SUNOOS HYPED OUT OF HIS MIND

"BABE BABE BABE ASK THEM THEIR NAME"

so youre like "ghosts... whats your name"

and NO JOKE

A WIND BLOWS PAST THE ROOM

AND EVERYONE IN THE ROOM SWEARS THEY HEAR SOMEONE WHISPER FAINTLY

"robert"

so that's how you and sunoo meet robert the ghost

BUT THAT'S NOT THE END

BECAUSE SUNOO HAS THE BRILLIANT IDEA OF PULLING OUT HIS OUIJA BOARD

tbh you both look dumb as hell

sitting on the crusty bellaire house floor

hunched over a ouija board

sunoo is now asking questions

but the ouija board doesn't even move

but when you ask

"robert, how are you today? yes for good, and no for bad"

THE GODDAMN PLANCHETTE MOVES TO YES AKA GOOD 😭

you and sunoo then introduce yourselves

again, when sunoo introduces himself nothing happens

but when you introduce yourself

the candle that's lit beside you goes out

someone in sunoo's camera crew jokes that they think that robert the ghost likes you

so sunoo jokingly asks "robert are you flirting with my girlfriend?"

AND THE OUIJA BOARD SAYS YES 😭😭😭

and when you kiss sunoo the doors in the house start slamming and shit like SOMEONES MAD

sunoo is lowk offended

and then he starts to beef with robert the ghost

except robert the ghost never respond to anything that sunoo says

bro leaves sunoo on heard

sunoos like "HEY ROBERT I DON'T CARE IF YOURE A DEMON YOU BETTER BACK THE FUCK UP!!"

later when ygs review the emf recorder it picks up robert the ghost whispering "i don't care 🙄"

sassy ass ghost

on the other hand

robert responds to EVERYTHING you say

atp you're not scared anymore

"hai robert i'm [name], knock over that doll over there if you want to be my friend"

and the doll knocks over 😭

"robert knock on the window if you think i'm cute :3"

KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK

the camera crew is just laughing their asses off

at some point

the ouija board starts moving on its own

everyones like WOAHHH IT'S ACTUALLY MOVING!!! QUICK GET A PIECE OF PAPER SO WE CAN RECORD WHAT ITS SAYING!!!

sunoo is taking such dilligent notes

it starts with i, then s, then it spells out your name, and then s, i, n, g, l, e

" ' IS [NAME] SINGLE' ???"

is what the ouija board says

yes a goddamn ghost just asked that

SUNOO IS NOT HAVING IT

while you and the camera crew are cracking up

sunoo starts telling off robert

"listen bro just because you died in the bellaire house doesn't mean that you can try to take my gf 😐"

robert the ghost is being sassy too

so sunoo literally just snaps the ouija board in half

"haha you can't talk anymore robert .😐."

yk how in buzzfeed unsolved they take turns staying in the haunted place alone with all the lights off

sunoo kicks everyone out so that he can have a "man to man" talk with robert

robert isn't a physical person but everyone swears they hear crying

.... and it sure isn't coming from sunoo 😇

i think this would go really viral

"[name] is so beautiful that even dead people want her"

"robert the ghost is so me"

"even ghosts aren't immune to beautiful women"

"robert saw a hot woman and took his chance"

this would become an inside joke within sunoo's fandom fs

sunoo isn't having it though

he definitely still tweets about it

"i remember when some loser ghost tried to take my girlfriend"

"robert fuck you i'm glad you died"

"see you hell robert"

i def think robert is scared of sunoo now

LMAO

jungwon ☆

jungwon is documentary youtuber

he likes to make short documentaries about topics that he likes

kinda like wendigoon or fern or real horror

i feel like he'd have a super high quality mic that's super crisp

i think he'd like to make iceberg videos, or videos about obscure missing people stories

anyways

jungwon has a whiteboard that he uses to explain things

esp like timelines

but in one of his videos he doesn't use the whiteboard so it's in the background

so you write a little message on it

its just a very simple

"[name] was here :3 !!"

i feel like only a few people notice it

but as more and more videos pass

and jungwon doesn't use the whiteboard

your little messages get bigger and bigger

until one day the entire board is filled up with just "[NAME] WAS HERE!!!"

sorry i think a lot of jungwon's viewerbase would be redditors, just given what his content is like

r/jungwon LMAAOAOAO

on there someone brings it up

theyre like "who is [name]"

some ppl suggest that it's probably a friend or his gf

it's pretty chill tbh, his viewerbase isn't really too concerned

until one day

jungwon does one of those investigating 411 missing persons cases

except ygs live near one of the places where someone went missing

so he's physically walking along the path where someone went missing as he tells the story

poor baby is lowk kinda scared tho so he takes you along with him

youre mostly behind the camera but you do talk

at the beginning of the video he's like

"hi guys i'm joined by my girlfriend today"

you pop into frame to say hi

anyways like i said you do talk during this video

like as jungwon tells the story you're reacting behind the camera

"it's crazy that a 4 year old traversed 30 miles up a mountain in a matter of 30 hours..."

and behind the camera you're like "omg no way that's wild 😱😱😱"

youre like genuinely invested

you're also cracking a lot of jokes w him too

its really sweet bc most of his videos jungwon is alone, but since youre in this w him, he's smiling so much ;(

and like everytime he makes a joke you can see him looking off-camera to look at your reaction

and when you laugh everyone can literally see how proud he is

this video so SUPER well received

his comment section is so sweet

"i've never seen jungwon smile so much, he's so in love with [name] :("

"the way you can tell jungwon is proud when [name] laughs at his jokes"

but i think the most common type of comment are those type stamp ones

"at 1:23 [name]'s laugh is so cute!"

"0:58 when the camera panned over to [name] my jaw dropped... she's gorgeous!"

"5:29 [NAME] IS SO FUNNY I LOVE HER"

"at 4:40 i love the way [name] completes jungwon's sentence, i've never seen two people that are just so perfect for each other"

yk how on youtube there's that feature where you can see the most replayed part?

when you pop into frame that's the most replayed part of his video 😭

his viewerbase on reddit probably posts you

like its a screenshot from the video and theyre like "it's [name]! the one on the whiteboard!"

i think his fanbase would be really nice on reddit too :(

"she's so pretty!"

"jungwon has immaculate taste"

indeed he does <3

he's so proud of you, like i think he definitely looks at the comments and screenshots them to keep reading them

like YES THAT'S MY GIRLFRIEND

HOWEVER

jungwon makes those "going through my subreddit" videos

and he comes across a post hyping you up

at first hes liek "YES YES YES MY GF IS SO BEAUTIFUL"

but then the comments on the post are like

"she's so beautiful, do ygs think she's single?"

"hi [name] 😏 (i am the ceo of amazon and read feminist literature books btw)"

obv all jokes

and jungwon's face visibly drops

he gives the camera a MAD side eye

a STINK EYE

jungwons like "all right, who said that 🤨"

AND THEN HE REPORTS AND BANS THEM 😭

he makes posts on his subreddit like "all of u are going missing next time i see shit like this"

HELP

riki ☆

sorry he's a shitposter

i think riki posts those genshin impact and fortnite playthroughs

but he also posts other gamer things

but he actually has a good fanbase

he's at like 900k subscribers even though he doesn't have a fixed upload schedule or specific genre of post

he's never showed his face like ever on his channel, but he definitely shows his personality through editing, video descriptions, and community posts

one day though

riki randomly posts a video titled "me and my girlfriend at the arcade"

and its a video of you and him on an arcade date :(

the majority of it is him behind the camera recording you as you play games

the way you can hear him chuckling behind the camera as you have cute reactions :((((

but there's also times where he's on camera

like when he's playing with the claw machine

and bc riki is a pro

he wins a you giant teddy bear!!

your cute lil cheers when he wins are like the most replayed part of the video

he takes such cute pictures of you hugging the bear aw

honestly his viewers are surprised when he posts the video

bc he used to be posting genshin impact videos why is there a vlog

but theyre not complaining

this video becomes one of his most viewed

since youre most of the video there's a lot of comments abt you

and i think his audience is close enough with riki to shit on him LMAAOAO

"[name] is so sweet i wanna hug her"

"i wish i was a teddy bear..."

"SHE'S SO CUTE"

"move aside riki"

"is [name] single by any chance"

"omg who is that weird random guy (riki) that keeps coming near you [name] is he bothering you queen"

"[name] who is this random guy are you cheating on me"

riki responds to these comments too

"you can't have her" "too bad she's lying in my arms right now" "she just kissed me" "do want want my girlfriend or a black eye"

he definitely starts fights

i think his video is so viral that he gets ppl outside his audience

and some ppl get mad when riki fights back 😭😭😭

“why is he fighting people they’re clearing joking” and riki responds like “yeah why is he fighting 🤬🤬🤬😡😡😡”

and then riki gets petty

and makes a video called

"addressing everything."

its like a logan paul apology video

it's also like 30 seconds 😭

"hi all... i just wanted to come here and apologize... for having a HOT GIRLFRIEND" and then he flips off the camera and it cuts off with you saying "babe?--"

lowk goes viral for it LMAO

behold the keyboard warrior trilogy- heehoonki ☠️

in the future riki does post more of your cute vlogs

and in the descriptions he's just ranting abt how much he loves you

lowk all the vlogs are basically just him admiring you

cuties

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showtoonzfan · 8 months

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Now that the episode is out officially, here’s my rant review of Oops!

PROS:

- Fizz and Ozzie were adorable and I honestly love them. Despite the sex jokes, you can tell they love each other for who they are OUTSIDE of sex. While I did wish we would have seen more, (like how Ozzie took him in and fell in love) they’re still adorable to watch. They’re the better version of Stolitz, can the show be about them instead?

- Brandon’s voice acting holy shit, he really knows how to sound like he’s in tears or is broken. As much as I hate the character and feel no sympathy, he displayed genuine and broken emotion very well.

- Alex Brightman Alex Brightman

Okay that’s it. Moving on to the Cons. Bear with me, it’s a lot and I go back and forth a bit. 😭

CONS:

So for a quick short summary, this episode:

- Once again puts more focus on the filler plot rather than actually focusing on the relationships between the characters, so all we're left with is a 10 second clip of Fizz being burned while the rest of the episode is surrounded on sex jokes/petty bickering and Stolas and Ozzie sitting around.

- Completely erases what made Blitz and Fizz's dynamic interesting in the first place because it retcons it with a dumb miscommunication trope about how Fizz actually wanted to see Blitz and Blitz tried reaching out to him. Not only does this feel like a cheap attempt to make Blitz out to be sweet/sympathetic and NOT the one in the wrong so Fizz can suck up to him, but this also makes no sense within the narrative.

- Has Fizz forgive Blitz despite him being the last person anyone would think would forgive him. (So honestly ruins Fizz himself because it turned him into a soft boy who's forgiving compared to the asshole he was in Ozzie's) All because Viv would sell her whole soul before she even remotely considers painting characters like Blitz and Stolas out to be the one's in the wrong.

- Takes Stolas out of the hospital completely, erasing all the drama/tension Western Energy had and proves that that episode was utterly pointless.

- Turns Striker from an interesting complex villain to a Saturday morning cartoon goon.

- Proves to us that Crimson is just a flat tool and gives us more prove that the world building rules Viv set up in season 1 legit don't matter.

-Ruins Blitz/Barbie's feud now because now you're making Barbie look like the one in the wrong since the fire was an accident. God forbid a female characters emotions in this show are justified.

But if you want my more in depth rants, it’s under the cut! (There’s a lot so bear with me lol)

- As usual WAAY too many sex jokes and swearing. It gets annoying and repetitive at times and some of them distract from the main plot. There’s a long and I mean LONNG dragged out joke of Fizz talking about Ozzie’s dick, then later saying he’s hard when Striker has a gun to his head, as well as Blitz making a joke about him and Fizz making out once they hug. Again, Viv can’t be serious for 2 seconds without an unfunny shitty gag. I genuinely wonder if Hazbin is ganna be like this, where a character is in a life threatening situation or a deep dark serious scene happens only for the next scene to be sex related.

- This is one of those “shit happens because the plot demands it” and it shows. Crimson and Striker COINCIDENTLY meet up with each other, and Fizz and Blitz just so HAPPEN to be in the same exact area they are. Viv wonders why we call her shit a fanfic and this is what we mean, when she creates wild wacky plots and focuses more on THAT rather than the actual character writing. This entire episode hinges on a useless poorly last minute planned kidnapping plot that didn’t need to happen. Also way to once again make the characters idiots so the plot can happen, cause Fizz KNOWS Ozzie worries for him and that the Greed Ring is dangerous, yet purposefully puts the spotlight on him.

- Stolas did NOT need to be in this episode. The plot completely ignores the fact that he was in the hospital the last time we saw him, and he’s only here for Stolitz banter. You’d think that a character admitting they have feelings for someone would be a big deal but he just flat out says it and it’s so underwhelming and feels half assed with no weight to it. Fan comics have made more dedication to this than Viv has. We're supposed to believe him too despite the show failing to actually SHOW us this. Same for Blitz ranting about how “nice” Stolas has been to him, laughing at his jokes and liking his posts…hey Viv, can we actually SEE that on screen so it’s more believable? Or are you only determined to show them sexually flirting? 😑

- Once again Viv felt the need to shove a B plot into this episode and this one sucks because it’s just two characters sitting and doing fucking nothing. It felt like Viv had no idea what to do with Stolas and Ozzie, and I refuse to believe that Ozzie just sat there knowing Fizz was in danger. If anything he would have said “fuck the paperwork” and went to save Fizz himself. Way to show that gif of Ozzie getting mad as a sneak peak to get fans excited, only to see that Ozzie spends the rest of the episode sitting in a dark room LMAO what a let down.

- Ozzie is weirdly chill and cool with Stolas and it’s something I don’t get. While he did say that Stolas had the real “spirit of Lust” in S1E7, it still gave you the impression that he was also more poking fun at Stolas rather than respecting him. The whole point of House of Asmodeous was that Ozzie outs him and publicly embarrassed him. Stolas literally was intimidated just by Asmodeous’s mere name, and hid his face around him. It seemed like Stolas certainly didn’t want someone like Ozzie to know about his private life especially since they’re both part of the Ars Goetia. Now here Ozzie is just cool with him and it feels like a missed opportunity for their dynamic.

- Stolas confessing his feelings about Blitz also makes…no sense narrative wise. I thought the whole point of The Circus and the ending to Western Energy was that he was realizing that Blitz didn’t like him that way and was finally waking up. I thought that’s why he was doing this whole crystal deal in the first place, so he can let Blitz go, yet the show keeps flip flopping and insisting that these two love each other and are good for each other. It’s really making you realize how this season and the previous stuff set up is becoming nonsense because the writers retcon EVERY damn episode. Also….why the hell is Stolas telling Ozzie his feelings for Blitz? Out of all people, why is it Ozzie, the person who outed Stolas and embarrassed him. Why is Stolas even respectful of Ozzie? He has no reason to, and he’s not under the impression that he’s dating Fizz either. I get that he needs the crystal but mentioning his love for Blitz makes no sense.

- Striker and Crimson teaming up to kidnap Blitz and Fizz was such an ass puller last minute decision. It feels overwhelming and underwhelming at the same time, more because it feels like Viv has no idea what to do with these two villain characters other than give them something evil to do to start the plot. Also…why…are they working together? It feels so random.

- Striker’s character especially is all over the place. First he’s working for Stella, then he’s painted as the best assassin in hell, and now he’s…looking for more work I guess and working for Crimson? Why? Does this guy even have a motive anymore? It feels like his character is just dangling around until Viv wants to use him for another wattpad kidnap plot and it ESPECIALLY shows when Striker escapes for the THIRD fucking time. Can this character/storyline actually GO somewhere or are you just going to keep introducing him and have him run away. 🤦🏽‍♀️

— How did Crimson not know who Striker is despite him being labeled as “the most popular assassin in hell”, and how the hell does Crimson know Ozzie and know all the information about him being in a relationship with Fizz?? Oh right because we needed the plot to happen somehow. Still, even if Crimson did know that Ozzie was the "weakest" and loved Fizz, (which….what about Beezlebub?)) he still should have known he was playing with fire. I get that he's supposed to be evil and intimidating but how could he have predicted that Ozzie would actually stand down and fill out the paperwork? He could have immediately came there and killed Crimson for all he knew. It's just distracting how..not planned this shit was.

- Fuck this episode for calling Striker a supremacist. It makes no sense?? Viv is trying SO hard to villainize him despite him being the one in the right and it pisses me off. He has every right to be mad at the upper class, he’s part of the lower class that we’re said Hell takes advantage of, but god forbid we call out Rich and powerful Stolas because that would mean he’s a b-bad person and we can’t have that complex morality! This is so not a “eat the rich” story and it shows bc Vivzie is rich as hell. Striker as a character deserves so much better man. Congrats writers, you had an interesting character and motive set up for him, now he’s nothing but a silly goon that you might as well kill off already cause you clearly don’t care about him. Crimson meanwhile is just a piece of paper, a boring plot device I could give less of a shit about. I thought his motive was to go after Moxxie, now he’s just doing fuck whatever because this show desperately wants a bad guy for their filler fanfic plots.

- We get more world building issues, Ozzie and Fizz are so determined to hide their relationship for obvious reasons, but then at the end of the episode just say “fuck it, no one would dare tell anyway”. So now they’re being open about their relationship and lmao I told y’all the newspaper scene of Ozzie being called out for being a hypocrite wouldn’t go anywhere. Even if Ozzie did threaten his workers to not tell, they can’t be so sure that someone wouldn’t see or snitch, it’s kinda a retcon too cause they were pretty lovey dovey in Ozzie’s. Still, it makes the characters look dumb and it makes the rules Viv set up for Hell once again not mean anything.

- We finally get to see Fizz’s backstory in action and it’s executed in the most underwhelming way possible. It’s literally a fucking 10 second clip of what went down, and rather than experiencing the event for ourselves, it’s in flashback mode but with Fizz’s voice talking over it. That’s it. I’ve seen fan comics/fanart that built this shit up better than Viv did, that actually took the slow time and dedication it needed, and here it feels like such an afterthought, like Viv could care less. Maybe if this actually was a character driven show like Viv claims, Stolas, Striker, and Crimson would be taken out of the picture and then that would leave us with PLENTY time to actually explore and develop Blitz/Fizz, bc most of this episode is just them pettily bickering and Stolas and Ozzie sitting around. But nah, we gatta have our fanfic kidnapping plot. Same goes for the reveal of Blitzo’s mom dying in the same fire. Glad to know that she got the same treatment Moxxie’s mom did, where we don’t even know her and yet we’re supposed to feel moved and care about her death. You nailed that one Viv. 👍

- I predicted that this episode would victimize Blitz and have the fire incident be an accident, (because Viv is a pussy writer and can’t make her characters actually do bad things like god forbid) but I never thought they’d actually have the balls to have Fizz forgive Blitz immediately in the same episode and pull the “actually turns out that horrible thing you did to me helped me in a way”- trope. Biggest flaw of the episode, fuck you Viv. I was actually going to applaud Blitz for taking accountability, but then the dialogue reminds you that an abuser wrote this, and he shifts his apology to “okay but I lost something too see so it’s not all about you” as if he’s fucking dismissing Fizz’s trauma and making it about himself. “I love flawed characters” my fucking ass. I would have smacked a bitch if I was Fizz because Blitzo loosing his mother in the fire too isn’t an excuse?? Fizz lost his fucking ARMS AND LEGS, and at the end of the day Blitzo STILL KNEW HE WAS HELPLESS IN THE FIRE BUT LEFT HIM BEHIND. He could have gotten help and came back, but didn’t. If this were a good show Fizz would have threw that apology back in Blitzo’s face and said “I don’t care if it was an accident or not, you still left me there and then proceeded to loathe me for years”. This is why Helluva will never be Bojack cause at least characters in that show who got treated horribly by him knew when to say “no, fuck you.”

- The episode retcons again, this time they make it out to be that Blitz TRIED contacting Fizz the years they were apart but no one would let him see him. Then they say that Fizz actually WANTED to see Blitz but assumed he didn’t want to, so their entire feud was solely because of miscommunication?? Number one, show don’t fucking tell omg. And number two, that makes ZERO sense. Blitz talked badly about Fizz in Loo Loo Land, and when they finally reunited in Ozzie’s, it was clear they fucking loathed each other. You got the impression that Blitz was petty and jealous just because Fizz was more popular, and Fizz not only loathed him for the accident, but liked to rub in his face about how much of a big shot he was. They literally do that in this episode too, so the episode is literally contradicting itself. Blitz and Fizz had multiple chances to meet up with each other, you can’t just say “oh they couldn’t because no one would let them”- So which is it? Did they hate each other because of bad blood, petty drama, or that they thought the other didn’t want to see them? Pick ONE Viv and stick to it, but she never does. Their feud was interesting and now you ruined it just to have some sweet happy ending. “Adult mature show” my ass lol.

-Bottom line is Fizz shouldn’t have forgave Blitz so easily, or forgave him period. I find it funny how he says “it’s hard to just forgive you” and then he literally does lol. I feel so bad for Fizz fans, him and Blitz’s feud was honestly interesting, so to see all of this go down in a half-assed piss poor way as if this was Care Bears is….wow. The fan interpretations had more thought and care put into this storyline but what else is new lol.

- I’m really tired of these shitty annoying songs. If you’re going to get Broadway actors, please put effort into your songwriting and actually have them sing something good, not something that’s literally nonsense. This Fizz song sounds like it took less than a minute to write and Sam Haft was just thinking of anything he could think of at the top of his head. Also Why the fuck are Striker and Crimson just STANDING there while Fizz sings. They look like idiots, just SHOOT them omg. If this were a funny show, Fizz would have started his first note and Crimson just rolls his eyes and pulls his gun out.

- Fizz and Ozzie kill the lawyer but not…Crimson? Despite Fizz knowing what ring he’s in and even Ozzie knowing what he looks like? Same for Blitz, he doesn’t try to make sure Striker is dead. I get that the plot demands for these two to still be around, but there’s a way to keep them alive without making the main characters look like fucking idiots. Also Stolas just leaves without doing or contributing anything to the plot yay.

- Fizz: “Let him have it, you could say he’s earned it”— Uhm….Nope. Blitz did NOT earn shit. He didn’t even earn Fizz’s forgiveness. Last time I checked, the moment Blitz cried and said it was an accident, Fizz forgave him, knowing he didn’t mean it. What effort did Blitz do to “earn” that as well as the crystal? Because he saved Fizz and didn’t leave him behind for the SECOND time near the end?? Cause if so than the bar is extremely low. That’s the bare minimum, just because Blitz cried and felt bad about it doesn’t mean he should be let off the hook Viv. I hate this so much, what a shitty conclusion, it feels forced just so Blitz can have the crystal and just so the writers can once again paint him as the one in the right. It’s almost insulting that they make it seem like Fizz was in the wrong for assuming Blitz starting the fire too, same for Barbie.

God what a shitty day it is to be a Fizz fan, I’m sorry. The episode did NOT do him justice. Fizzarolli deserved better than that half assed gaslighting apology for someone who lost their arms and legs man, and I’m tired of the show letting every character suck up to Blitz and Stolas for their horrible treatment just because they feel bad. Not only that but the episode (as most recent HB episodes) was a huge time waster. Everyone was really hoping for an in depth walkthrough of his character/backstory but again, when he’s not with Ozzie, the rest/most of his screen time is dedicated to him being helpless and pointlessly arguing with Blitz, plus a long dragged out nonsense song that didn’t need to happen. It felt like SO much time was wasted when we could have used the runtime we have to dive deeper and see more, like….again it would have been nice to see Fizz’s life AFTER the accident and how he became well known as well as how he fell in love with Ozzie, but his backstory is briefly scratched upon in a single scene and that’s it, all because Viv wanted this filler plot and wanted to dedicate more time to THAT rather than actual character expansion/development, something we could have got had you took out Stolas and Ozzie’s B plot and Striker and Crimson.

Viv is so on her way to murder/ruin every character that isn’t Blitz and Stolas and I won’t be here to watch further. I’ll check out the Mammon music video thing but that’s it man, this show is going off the rails, Adding Fizz to the character adoption list!

#vivziepop critical #spindlehorse critical #helluva boss critical #helluva boss critique #helluva boss criticism #helluva critical #anti vivziepop #helluva boss #fizzaroiii #fizzaroli helluva boss #helluva boss oops #helluva boss review #vivziepop criticism

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matchadobo · 1 year

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KIDD; eustass kidd as a college student

summary: my headcanons of kidd as a college student in the modern world. no dfs here. part two here tw: afab!reader, nothing sussy here dw

* studies metallurgy or mechanical engineering

* insanely good at physics and chemistry 🫦

* but very emotionally and people dumb

* would wear graphic tees with rolled sleeves, ripped jeans, ankle boots

* eyeliner and lipstick on AT ALL TIMES

* is always late to class

* would be an overachiver

* makes every little thing a competition

* however, not an active student. he's just active when he wants to speak up about something he knows

* the typa student who does last minute reviews before exams and/or quizzes yet still manage to get a high mark

* lives in dorms with the other kidd pirates

* always have boys' nights where they just watch horror and scare each other, play games, or just get drunk

* not active in extracurriculars, he couldn't care less (unless it's related to his course or he's interested abt something it offers)

* know him as "that one hot redhead who always has a frown in his face and always gets into fights with the professors"

* would always banter with profs; not to disrespect them, but he's smart enough to butt heads with the professors. although his intention is to purely state what he knows is right, he always ends up disrespecting them bc of his language and attitude and gets demerits lmao

* kidd as a groupmate is a pain in the ass; he never replies and only does when he feels like it—which is rarer than rare. he replies to comply on the day before the deadline 🤬

* whenever there's debates, he's your man. mans got no filter and actually say stuff that no one wants to (e.g. controversies like church vs state, gray areas, taboos, gov't corruption, etc.), but only with a foul language

* submits tasks late 😫

* his handwriting is like this. he don't care abt pen width, brand, and type

* would visit nightclubs and bars seldomly, have hook ups and flings here and there but nothing was serious enough for him to go crazy for. he'd be with them one night max, he's the type of guy to leave afterwards 😭

his relationship with you:

* if you were just a blockmate he'd never even bat an eye at you let alone know you exist

- unless you caught his eye bc of your attractiveness physically or mentally

- if you haven't done anything remarkable to catch his attention, you're good as a rock to him

* if you're friends with him and is part of his circle:

- kidd being friends with you means that he can not only tolerate you but you can also measure up to and endure his feistyness

- that is tantamount to him being interested with you

- whenever a topic is blurry to you, he'd call you "dumb, birdbrain, shit for brains, etc" each time he explains and you still don't understand. but he would always accurately and patiently piece it out for you step by step, there's just some harshness that comes with it

- would always treat you to his and yours' favorite place after school whenever he sees you tired and bummed out after classes. would always tell you that "cmon i'll feed you some real fuckin' food, better than those ugly ass instant noodles you always have at your dorms." secretly loves seeing you eat and be full after meals

- each time your circle goes out, he'd always be seated next to you, is always close to you, or keeps an eye on you saying "you'll kill yourself with your dumb ass if i don't keep an eye on you." but that's just an excuse, cuz he likes looking at you

- study dates! well, he refuses to call them dates; just like how he refuses his feelings towards you. but would always insist on regularly doing this

> he doesn't really need the study dates, he's smart enough to excel on his own. he just wants an excuse to spend time with you, be close to you, teach you, make you laugh, and eat with you

- would he confess? he would, drunk. it'd start when you ask him to stop since he had too much to drink, he'll cup your face and tell you with flushed cheeks as his breath stinks from alcohol, he'll proclaim how much he adores you and how cute you are. he'll regret it in the morning and would avoid you for days.

- when you two get together, you two are inseparable. pda is clear as day. he's clingy af, would always link arms with you during lectures, rubbing circles on your soft skin. would let you put your thighs over his lap and stroke them fondly. when you put your head down during class as a result from weariness, his fingers with red-lacquered nails combs through your hair to soothe you. would always have an arm around you, whether above your shoulder or waist.

- his go to destressing activity is game/movie night with you and his circle

dreamy sighs 0~0

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olderthannetfic · 3 months

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What I don't get abt "I don't trust white reviewers who review mainly white books" Why da fack ain't cha following like more reviewers who review poc authors? Or like specifics: If ya wanna have someone who reviews more poc authors, then follow a poc reviewer? Bc it sounds like most of those ppl don't even wanna follow or listen to a white reviewers reviewing poc books anyway, they just wanna be mad about those white reviewers who don't review a lot of poc books or have a preference for certain poc books but not others.

Esp if your big thing is wanting to know how good the poc writing is, maybe the relevant poc would be better at reviewing it? Like obvs that isn't gonna be a 100% accurate read either, and like people can be super good at reviewing books from a lot of different people+cultures no problem. But if your biggest problem is "whitey reviewing mainly white books" then don't follow them? Man, my ass could never be such a baby about this shit, but sharing: My red flag is dumb people being mad that a reviewer reviews books they like, instead of fitting your quota you have for them.

Bonus bonus. Why do I get the feelings these folks calling out this as their red flags are just really fucking shit at finding books? So they expect random reviewers to play their book-finder mommy-daddies, and get really mad when they figure out that not every reviewer is gonna be adapting to their taste and then feed them exactly the books they want, while fitting some list to show how unproblematic they are. Listen, those are reviewers, not a fleshy google you can kick and glare at until they give you exactly the books you wanna read. They figured out that booktube and booktook is actually really fucking shit at finding good books outside the circle jerk, and now they want everyone else to do the exact same job but without the circle jerk books constantly being regurgitated into their feed.

This is such a bitch baby Western problem for real.

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mermaidsirennikita · 3 months

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ARC REVIEW: A Fate Inked in Blood by Danielle L. Jensen

4.5/5. Releases 2/27/24.

Heat Index: 6.5/10.

Vibes: vIKINGS!!!!, slutty guy/serious girl, "oops I'm married to your dad", and legitimately intense battle and magic stuff that actually works and puts people in those heartrending situations where it's all "STAY ALIVE!!!!! I WILL FIND YOU!!!!!!!!!" as it should in a FANTASY ROMANCE

Married to a man she hates and hiding the fact that she's the child of a minor goddess (children of gods are a Thing in this world) Freya lives a life of drudgery. Until, that is, her secret is revealed to all and Jarl Snorri declares that she's a prophesied shieldmaiden, meant to clinch him the kingdom he's always wanted. As such, she must marry him--kind of an issue, as she is very, very attracted to Snorri's son Bjorn. Another issue: Bjorn has been bound to Freya as her protector. On top of everything, Freya's goddess-given abilities are obscure but dangerous, leading her to wonder if her fate is less that of a protector than that of a monster...

OOOOH WE'VE GOT SOMETHING HERE. I've read Danielle L. Jensen before, way back in the day with her Malediction books--but those were YA (albeit, pretty hot YA) and I really don't read YA anymore. However, I do like Viking Shit, and I especially liked the idea of a romance between a Viking lady and her husband's SON, which was something I always wanted to happen on Vikings. So I picked it up.

And dude. It sucked me right in. I am, as I will get into more below, kind of a hard sell on fantasy romance--when it works, I am HOOKED but when it doesn't I am quickly turned off. This is the former. I was so drawn to Freya, a heroine who does have Chosen One aspects, but is also very human and just trying to make it work, one battle at a time. (Also? She's not instantly gREAT at fighting, how refreshing.) And I absolutely fell head over heels dumb girl for our hero Bjorn, who I expected to be a stoic silent warrior type. NO. He's so much better. He's like, an amazing warrior--but is also so funny and super slutty and just a BRO. I love him. Protect him.

The fantasy plot is compelling and doesn't get so in love with itself that it's impossible to follow. It's really good! I'm excited by this! Can't wait for the next! (What a relief, God.)

Quick Takes:

Here's my issue with fantasy romance (or romantasy, though I'll point out that this series is billed as "fantasy romance" on Netgalley, and that is so HOT to me): often, though the name implies that it's a subgenre of romance with a heavy fantasy bent... It's basically fantasy (well-done or not) with a romance subplot tucked in. The character work is shoddy, the tension is nil, and you can tell that the author is just trying to horn in on the romance audience. Not so, here.

First off, I think Jensen was really smart to create a fantasy world that is very "Vikings But Fantasy". It's not poorly drawn. You can tell that she's really into the Norse vibe, and I will say that I am biased because as someone who has somehow been watching the Vikings franchise since its inception (pray for me) I'm fairly familiar with it on that level. But the way she weaves the fantasy elements, most distinctly the idea of these empowered children of gods (who are basically made when their mortal parents HAVE THREESOMES WITH GODS??? Amazing. Just imagine having these superpowers and knowing that it's because your parents took some dude home from the bar one night and he turned out to be Thor.) into the story is really natural.

Secondly... There is a really compelling plot, yes. I am really into the duality of Freya, don't get me wrong. I really like the royal intrigue. All the WIFE DRAMA. It's My Brand. But the real heart of this story, very openly and honestly and presented without any self-consciousness, is Freya and Bjorn. And I think Jensen just lays it all out there the moment she introduces the brilliant plot device of "Bjorn's Dad, Who Freya Is Technically Married To, Wants Bjorn To Follow Freya Around And Make Sure She Doesn't Get Into Danger". Oh, so he's supposed to protect her as she hurtles into adventure and fights Viking zombies and shit? HOW CONVENIENT. Throughout the story, their immediate physical attraction melts into this emotional slow burn... and I am also a hard sell on a slow burn, so thank you for doing it right, Danielle. The book is single POV (Freya's, though I wouldn't mind Bjorn's in a future installment) but you can just tell that Bjorn is so mad that he's this into a woman who is technically his stepmother. Like, he can have anyone! But he wants HER. But he can't have her!

Picture me gobbling this up like a raccoon in a trash can.

--Speaking of! If you're all "ew, I hate that Freya is married to his dad"--no spoilers, but this is dealt with in a way that I think both avoids the ick that some readers (to be clear: not me, I am very resistant to ick) may feel over that setup, and avoids a copout.

At the same time... First off, Bjorn doesn't fully know that the ick has been avoided, and to be frank, I don't think Bjorn really cares about a little ick. But he does have like, you know, the "WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME" vibe for a while, and it is delicious. All very illicitaffairs.mp3.

--I also really loved that there is no mistake about Freya being a GROWN WOMAN. I strongly, strongly object to shelving this as New Adult, because regardless of her age, Freya (and honestly Bjorn as well) has been through a lot. She's literally married when we open this novel. She gets a second husband. She is not a virgin; her marriage was not chaste; it sucked. (To be clear: you don't get a lot of insight into Freya's first marriage beyond "it sucked" because it's dealt with pretty quickly. You don't see any sexual assault on the page in this book, and I don't know that Freya would see it that way? It's alluded to as "lie back and think of England" bad, gross sex, which I think suggests assault, but there is not any explicit violence, sexual or otherwise, depicted in either of her marriages.) She is JADED. She has never had a man like, take care of her.

And then she gets linked up with local dude who's snarking at her horrible husband about how he must not go down on her enough, and she's all "WHAT'S THAT MEAN :/". I really, really enjoy a pairing that involves a tough woman who's never been properly taken care of and a man who's like "I am DESPERATE to take care of you". Freya deserves!

--Another good choice: often, in fantasy romance (or at least in fantasy romance of yore; I feel like there has been a recent push to correct this, at least somewhat) the heroine is hypercompetent. She's smart, she's a good fighter, she's a femme fatale, she's the seventeen-year-old master assassin...

Freya is... a person. She does want to fight, and she is--not surprisingly, as she does come from a culture in which women do fight--not incapable of holding her own. Somewhat. But as soon as she's up against a master warrior like Bjorn, she's kind of not great, Bob, and even with the benefit of her goddess-given abilities, she still has a lot to learn. It's giving "Book One Aang", and I'm good with that. I'm actually much happier with her giving Book One Aang as a twenty-something woman because like? Give us hope, Freya.

She also doesn't have all the answers. Frankly, Freya doesn't have 80% of the answers, and she shouldn't, because she's new to this. She's new to the magic stuff (though she knew she had it, which I did like--she's not an Alina Starkov-level "WHAAAT" about it) and she's new to the court intrigue, and frankly she's new to Hot Dudes. Speaking of, she does spend a decent amount of brain time going "STOP! STOP, SELF! DO NOT LOOK! DO NOT TOUCH!" Which, frankly, I loved. I feel like that's the kind of behavior people are going to be annoying about because people are dying, but like. This woman just spent years surrounded by Village 2's and suddenly she's being swung around and guarded by a very flirtatious Royal 12. Give her a break. I would be much worse.

And she doesn't know what the hell she's doing with this man. She knows the mechanics, but she doesn't know the FINESSE. Speaking of...

The Sex:

The reason why I'm between a 6 and a 7 on this (and that's not quality, that's literally just how hot the book is re: sex acts) is that the story is a slow burn. Everything sexy happens in the back half, and you don't get to the full shebang until pretty late in the game. It's ABOUT THE YEARNING.

However, I think this was a good choice, and when we do get those scenes they are super hot (and explicit, though not like Sierra Simone explicit to be clear) and passionate and you definitely get the sense that it's this giant deal for these two. I was quite touched. I was like "awww" but also "oh" which is where I want to be when a story builds to two people hooking up for that long.

And Jensen fully takes advantage of the "Vikings" component and does have some "under the sleeping furs with 76 people sleeping in the near vicinity but we just need to get this done" action here. Which. Brava.

I'll be honest--I was worried about this, as I feel like I've been let down by a great fantasy romance in the past. I, much like several people in this novel, have been burned before. Not so here. I'm fully on board. I loved where we left off, and I cannot wait to see where those two crazy kids go next. Hopefully, like. To Vikings divorce court. So she can end that marriage to his dad.

Thanks to Netgalley and Del Rey for providing me with a copy of this book. All thoughts and opinions are my own.

Preorder:

Amazon

B&N

Bookshop.org

#romance novel blogging #romance novels #arc reviews #netgalley #book reviews #book recs #books

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jasontoddssuper · 7 months

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I feel like the reason so much content of the Batkids is so ooc and unrealistic and if i'm being mean straight up corny in a bad way is that the fandom dosen't understand the particular type of siblings they are.I don't mean adoptive since they're not normal adoptive siblings-in the sense that they weren't all raised together under the same roof by the same parent(s)-but found siblings,which is a very important distinction when it comes to potrayals.I'm not gonna go into detail so i don't make anyone uncomfortable and it would derail my points anyway but i'm like them in the sense that i have a shit ton of trauma that nobody else understood or sympathized with until my friends who i now see as my siblings in addition to my biological ones came along and also like them,we're not all the same age so that effects our relathionships with eachother.To elaborate by using the Batkids as examples since this post is about them:

Dick has gotten the 'Ultra Responsible Perfect Eldest SiblingTM' and 'Adult who's so goofy and sweet they're literally mentally a child/teen who can't do anything by themself' roles shoved onto him equally popularly by different sections of the fandom and yet somehow also some of the same ones.As someone who has a pretty similar position to him with his own found younger siblings,neither of those are accurate At All.He does his best to be a positive influence on the other Batkids and someone who they can turn to when they have problems but also dosen't treat them like they're his students or something rather than his family and joins in on their silly shenanigans and encourages them to do dumb kid shit because he knows they deserve to act their age and that's what a good eldest sibling is.Not an 'i'm so much better than you' robot or a manchild but someone who you can both look to for help and who's your friend .Him and the others for that matter deserve nothing else.Related to that,please erase the idea that he can't both an older sibling and a parental figure-One of my younger friend's literally calls me 'Mom' and 'Dad'.They can and do co-exist.Also this leads to accidentally treating them as younger than they are and he gets mixed reviews /lh

Jason's the edgy mean one yeah yeah but trust me,that does not mean any of the Batkids don't bully him or know they're cooler than him.In fact,that's the exact reason they do!This especially applies to Cass because trust me,they're NOT big bro and soft uwu sis-They're basically the dynamic fanon gives Jason and Tim only Cass is Jason and Jason is Tim.SHE'S the super cool goth big sibling,not him.And speaking of Jason,him and Duke are peak of playing favorites with eachother.They do everything together and share their stuff with eachother without needing to be asked and get up to weirdest shit in the middle of the night when they're low on sleep.You know that pic of a guy hacking a computer hunched over while his friend stands on his back and is on the phone?Actual Red Hood and The Signal sighting at the library at 2 in the morning(Not clickbait)

I assure you none of Tim's siblings other than Jason and Damian were ever out to get him and if they were,he would've confronted them about it like two decades ago because he has about as much tolerance for that kinda treatment as he has lack of rizz(Read:None).It's very obvious they all love him and vice versa and i'd go as far as to call it toxic and harmful to irl siblings regardless of blood relation to erase something so important to his healing from his earlier childhood trauma.I get that y'all love drama but you can't write it so maybe try parodies,your style is hilariously bad enough to fit them.Also:They definitely tease him for his stereotypical (half) white boy tastes and he plays along with it because well,what kind of detective would he be if he denied truth with proof?The awnser is a cop btw

Damian is their whole world.I love my younger found siblings so much and i'm always complimenting them and coming up with the dumbest shit to make them laugh and indulging them in their interests-Speaking of which,seeing as all the Batkids are autistic-coded and me and almost all my friends are too,they definitely all have special interests that're mostly different from eachother's but they're's always overlap and even if they don't,THEY WILL MAKE THEM.Also once again if anybody is getting jokes of how much they wanna kick his ass,it's not him but Jason.Taste of your medicine and all that

And they definitely see Stephanie as part of them and show it to her-Dosen't matter that she's not adopted by Bruce,they're vigilantes so they play by their own rules and Stephanie RULES.Oh and with the exception of formely Tim and forever Cass because they're literal soulmates by choice,none of them would ever want their relathionships with her to ever be seen in even the slightest romantic light and find the thought actively disturbing.Like dude......That's our sister,please take your leave and don't come back(Also as far as Dick is concerned,she's a literal toddler and Slade is his archenemesis for a reason)

Last thing-They definitely have a group chat because yes,that's an actual thing among siblings but it is a MESS.You know all those twitter aus of them?Yeah they don't post that shit in public ever in their life but catch them sending all that and more in The Batnest(Duke picked the name.He thinks he's a comedic genius and he's right)

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our-summer-is-winter · 3 months

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I'm bored, so get some of my actual advice for fountain pen beginners - that you can just ignore if you don't like, but I'm tired of seeing the same shit online recycled and wanted to come up with something slightly different

Ignore "starter pen recommendations" and just get the pen you like. Seriously. Get that pen that caught your eye. I bought my first pen without knowing a thing about fountain pens, only because it was relatively cheap at certain grocery store chain from Germany in their "back to school" offer and I was like "hey, maybe I could try", and never even thought about googling "starter fountain pens" or whatever. (At least I haven't end up with Lamy Safari) It's your own path, and walking it is part of the fun. That being said, it's better to dip your toes before you swim, so maybe choose something relatively cheap. Or don't. After all, for some people part of the appeal is being able to flex.

If despite everything you still really want to get "beginner fountain pen" rec, pens with "school pen" in its name / description are usually great for someone who never had a fountain pen in hand

Ignore Reddit (and I mean it). Ignore Instagram, and sure af ignore TikTok. Ignore even Tumblr. Don't ignore Facebook, because that's where boomers and old people tend to gravitate and you'll be surprised how knowledgeable those people can be - plus lots of old people are interested in pens, especially vintage ones. But the best knowledge comes from online forums and YouTube videos with triple digit numbers of views anyway

I think you should ignore most of the blogs too because usually it's just a shitfest of sponsored ""reviews""

While we're at it, learn to spot sponsored content early. There's a shit ton of it

Most of fountain pens don't require you to buy some super special fancy paper, only decent enough paper. More expensive isn't always better. Thicker isn't always better. Whiter isn't always better either. I got no clue about paper quality in US market, but I wrote with fountain pen in the most average budged-friendly notebooks you can think of. Most of fountain pens these days aren't even as wet as their vintage counterparts. Fountain pen manufacturers aren't dumb, they know their market changed overtime

If you're getting into this hobby, be prepared to meet some of the most snobbish, pretentious and obnoxious people you've ever seen

Be prepared to meet some cool people too

Be prepared to see tons of posts / advice that starts with how "special" or "meaningful" writing with fountain pen is. Ignore it!!! I hesitated to get into fountain pens for so long because I thought writing with fountain pens requires some, idk, special skillet. It's for sophisticated people. People with neat handwriting and lots of free time. Wrong! You don't need some special skills to write with fountain pen. It's actually easier and yes, faster, than writing with ballpoint pen. Especially if you write huge chunks of text

Have fun and don't let people tell you there's only one way of doing things

Also remember, it's okay to only buy one pen and stop. It's okay if your notes don't look like "aesthetic" Pinterest photos. It's okay to decide you're not into it anymore. It's okay if your handwriting isn't "neat" or "appealing". Let's stop TikTokification of hobbies

#rambling

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pieshopbarber · 4 months

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My dumb little review of the 2023 Sweeney Todd revival!! 😀

I had been hyping myself up for seeing the 2023 revival for multiple months on end, and let me tell you, I was not disappointed. Obviously I had a bunch of issues with it, there are always going to be issues with anything, that’s how the world works, but overall I could not be happier with the experience.

I thought it was really well casted overall, each and every one of these performers were fantastic and 100% deserved the roles they have and the praise.

Josh Groban’s performance as Sweeney Todd was absolutely fantastic. While I wish they cast someone older, I can’t argue that Groban was absolutely fantastic as the role. I had high hopes since hearing the first few songs from the cast album, and was blown away when I saw him live. Todd is always one of those characters who is very interesting to see performed, mainly due to how erratic he can be, switching between being completely depressed and withdrawn from the world to enraged and running around screaming and slashing throats at the drop of a hat, and Josh managed to really capture this. I also really enjoyed a lot of the little things he did. He definitely brought a bunch of middle aged white dad energy to the role that I don’t see a lot, really driving home the point that he really is just a father who lost absolutely everything. I also adored the choreography (I don’t know if this is the right word, but I’m just kinda dumb) with the razor, especially during epiphany, my favorite moment being where he descends the stairs to start confronting the audience where he slams the razor into the railing and scrapes it down. Really good stuff. A personal favorite moment of mine is the end. The enraged screaming of “BENJAMIN BARKER!” To violently sawing at the judge’s throat (which I was not expecting but holy shit was that awesome), but then holding the razor out in front of him as if disgusted by it and his own actions, but snapping back into a rage when he sees Johanna, practically turning into a feral animal, growling and literally lunging at her and down the stairs. His performance was definitely the highlight of the show.

Now onto Annaleigh Ashford. Oh jeez. Her accent was not great. It was better than it was in the cast recording, so that was nice, but it still sucked. I do not like Ashford’s characterization of Lovett. She’s too touchy and grabby with Todd, which definitely isn’t how Lovett should be. She waits, and she wouldn’t be that touchy and impatient. It does help with some of Todd’s characterization, with him either completely ignoring her advances, being disgusted and pushing her away, or being too much in a daze to fight back against her, but I still did not like it. I also do not like her casting, Ashford is too young and conventionally attractive for the role, however despite this, I can not ignore how genuinely funny she is as Lovett. Her comedic timing and line delivery never failed to get a laugh out of me, and I loved how she really embraced the Lovett hyperactivity. The energy she brought during little priest was absolutely amazing, literally rolling on the ground and doing the little Lovett jig. The banter between her and Todd was absolutely fantastic, and it’s impossible to ignore how well her and Groban meshed together. I have to say that the moment she really shined was during Not while I’m around. At the beginning she’s defensive and on edge as she realizes that Toby is on to the whole thing, turning into a very motherly sternness as she tries to convince him to stop thinking about the whole thing, to the heartbreak and panic as she realizes that they need to kill Toby. Her sadness when she is telling Toby how to work the oven and meat grinder is something I don’t see a lot when people play Lovett, and it was fantastic. I also loved her approach right before she gets killed. With her practically sobbing as she sings because she is happy since this is the closest that Todd has ever been with her, but also because she knows that she’s going to die, she knows that this closeness is not because of love, it’s because Todd wants her dead because she lied.

Obviously, Gaten just left the production, so Tobias was played by Daniel Marconi. I really enjoyed him as Toby, he really portrayed the whole pathetic orphan thing really well. However I did think his voice was a little too mature sounding if that makes sense. Overall though, really good as Toby. Was absolutely amazing during not while I’m around, the panic in his voice was palpable, really talented guy.

Nicholas Christopher was probably one of the best Pirellis I’ve seen. Pirelli is my favorite character from this musical overall, and he was just so freaking good. Really played into the camp and flamboyance of the character, really being a fruity little piss seller. During the contest he dramatically sprawled across the guy in the chair, or would fling the razor out towards the ensemble making them freak out and shrink away and overall was absolutely hilarious. One of the most brilliant things about his performance was how towards the end of the contest where he realizes that he’s losing, he begins to lose the Italian accent and the Irish starts to slip through, which I’ve never seen anyone do when playing Pirelli. I also loved the contrast that Nicholas Christopher had between the high pitched Italian accent and the super low gruffness he had with his Irish accent. Was definitely my favorite character from the whole thing.

The beggar woman was played by Ruthie Ann Miles, and I don't really have any issues with her. She was super good as Lucy, and her singing was really good. I thought it was brilliant that they had her wig obscuring her face and had her keep her shoulder or back to the audience so we couldn’t see her face until city on fire, right before Todd kills her. I also really enjoyed how she would physically interact with the other characters, as I don’t see that often with beggar woman performances.

Jamie Jackson was overall pretty good as judge Turpin, however I felt his acting was a little overdone. His voice was a little too wheezy and nasally at points, and him grabbing onto Lovett’s skirt was far too dramatic. However he did give me the ick, which is needed whenever someone plays Turpin.

Beadle Bamford was really funny. Similarly to Pirelli, Johnathan Christopher really played into the flamboyance of the character, which I always love. I really loved the bit before parlor songs where he unabashedly steals from Lovett. He was super funny and a great mesh with Turpin.

Maria Bilbao was fantastic as Joannah. Her singing was absolutely fantastic, and she was able to capture the naivety, yet strength of the character. Johanna here actually felt like a teenager who was both scared of the world because of how Turpin sheltered her, but also had eyes full of wonder and hope. Really loved her.

Daniel Yearwood as Anthony was good. I really don’t have much to say about him. He was really good. His line delivery was really good, but I thought he sounded really similar to Gaten on the cast album. That’s not a gripe with him, it’s just something I noticed.

I went in knowing that the factory whistle would be (sadly) absent from the show, yet still found myself bracing for it. I was kinda disappointed that the whistle was excluded since it’s such a massive part of the class system metaphor, but I totally wasn’t expecting the extra loud whistle when Turpin was killed. Literally made me almost shit myself in the mezzanine. Also again, Josh literally sawing at the judges throat was great at that moment too.

I also was somewhat tentative about the dancing. I don’t think of Sondheim or Sweeney Todd and think of dancing, so I went in cautious about it, and honestly I hated it a lot less than I thought I would. The dancing in the opening and closing ballads works? It’s not atrocious to be honest, it’s jarring yes, but isn’t the worst thing they could have done. The dancing is used very sparingly throughout the rest of it, and it’s not awful. It created a really surreal and dreamlike atmosphere which is quite fitting for the scenes they had it in (ladies and their sensitivities, poor thing, city on fire) or it created a hectic and almost unsettling aura (god that’s good, Pirelli’s miracle elixir). I also noticed that during these dancing moments that Todd, Lovett, Turpin, beadle, Toby, and Lucy would be the only ones still moving normally, kind of highlighting their disconnect from the rest of London. This was really highlighted during city on fire during the beggar woman’s part.

I also really like the inclusion of the scene that originally was after Mia Culpa. Normally it’s cut alongside Mia Culpa, but was kept in the revival, which is honestly awesome. It gives the context of how Johanna got the key and gave it to Anthony, and also how she found out Turpin wants to marry her, and without it it’s kinda weird and confusing. Honestly though, I wish Mia Culpa was included, just because it’s a great song and helps to characterize the judge, and the fucking social media used its lyrics to show off the judge that one time, so yeah. But it’s understandable why they didn’t. I’ve seen it performed and can only guess how hard it is for the judge performers to go from that into ladies and their sensitivities so quickly.

Overall, I could not have been more impressed and happy with the revival. I’m incredibly thankful I was able to go. The cast, crew, and orchestra have every bit of my joy and thanks for putting on such a great production of one of my favorite musicals.

#sweeney todd #stephen sondheim #sweeney todd the demon barber of fleet street #sweeney todd: the demon barber of fleet street #broadway #musical #musical theatre #mrs. lovett #sondheim #josh groban #annaleigh ashford #2023 revival #sweeney todd 2023 #musical review

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lutawolf · 2 years

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Love In the Air Ep 6 Review & Running Commentary

I'm fucking loving this series and it's beautiful mess of kink. I find it absolutely hilarious that people thought Unforgettable Night with it's complete kink inaccuracy, somehow represents better than LITA. Um, no. For those new to me, I review for my fellow kinksters and the vanillas that want to be informed. I do have previous reviews that can be found here.

Alright, everyone have their freak flag ready to wave! Let's get started!

We are staring where we left off, at the illegal street race. Anyone notice that they changed wife to darling?? OMG, he ducked behind Payu. How fucking cute. We get introduced to P' Chai who clearly scares Rain. Always good to have a healthy respect for the scary people. So there are some brains there.

P' Chai asking if he is that scary and the brothers laughing. Yeah, they some bad asses. Also tells you how valuable the brothers are. Then he leaves and Rain finally understand why Payu had been scared. Now that Rain has a healthy respect, Payu can reassure him.

The Near Raging Storm

Oh here come those fucking jokers from before. Tweetle Dee and Tweetle Dumb. What fucking tools. You gonna regret fucking around with Saifah. He just looks cuddle, he isn't really. Ahhh! here comes Prapai to get access to his soon to be man. But he gets interrupted. You see his face, he is like Bitch, lol. Then he realizes what Saifah wants and he is down for the game. Yay! Teach the tool Prapai! I mean, he won't learn shit cause he is Tweetle Dumb of the equation but it'll be fun to watch.

"I'm proud of myself for being such a good guy." Told you Saifah wasn't someone to fuck around with. "I'm taking the time to teach the asshole a lesson." 🤣🤣🤣 OH no you didn't. You don't fuck with Payu. Fuck around and find out. You lucky Prapai saved you dumb dumb. Now he really gonna leave you in his dirt. Stop boy! Cocky is only sexy on a Dom, you don't have that swagger. FYI, it's always better to let the bike warm up and do a natural speed and then throttle which is what you are seeing from Prapai. Not that I have ridden in almost 18 years. So bikes have probably changed a bit since then. Fuck I'm getting old.

Well guess who won. No surprise there. See, Prapai's confidence is sexy. Here you go, touching Payu again. Somebody beat his ass. "Because your incompetent." 🤣🤣🤣 Yes!! I love Payu's cocky but see he can back it up. Oh P'Chai, I'm gonna need your story next. I like you, I do. Haha, you so stupid, calling P'Chai a lackey. P'Chai is gonna be nice and give you a chance. Sadly.

Oh fuck, that hand on Payu's face is doing all kinds of things to me. It's love people, it's love! See this dude has his shit together. A mechanic is something to be proud of. I mean I couldn't do it, I just want to put my key in and foot down. But the people who can do all that, respect.

Look at this cutie trying to cheer up his man. You suck at it but that takes practice. Your trying and that's what matters. Ahh. "Has this darling ever been scared of his husband." "Yes, Because your so strict." "Because your disobedient." "I'm not. If I was disobedient would I let you hug and kiss me." "I haven't kissed you yet." "You do things slowly sometimes." Then they kiss. Some of this sounds like they are addressing guidelines and then some of this seems like bad translation. I'll have to go back and pay more attention.

Working on the weekends. Aww, Rain is waiting for him at the garage and look at Payu smile. True Love. I will not be taking any arguments. This is True Love with capitals. And there goes Payu to get back to his man.

Look at him simping over his man. So cute. So far no D/s elements just two love birds. Living life, being disgustingly in love. I spoke too soon. Payu brings Rain a reward but the reward is not good enough. Rain wants a better reward. Ahh negotiations. "it's your duty." "Since when has it been my duty." "It's your duty because your the owner's boyfriend." "Oh, I thought you were going to kiss me on the lips." I want a real reward! lol. Welcome to a brat being a brat, we love them. Saifah! You are the ban of my existence! I love you and I hate you.

Okay so Payu has been challenged by the tool. Rain is chilling when Payu comes to tell him that he is staying over. Rain goes to argue and that was a Dom "No." Rain still continues but softens his voice. "But I haven't said anything." "Your going to ask me to not race aren't you?" Good job, talk it out. I don't want to hear shit about a Dom listening to their sub. A brat sub is absolutely allowed to voice their opinion. Now we can override them and often will on principle, if we don't know they really mean it. Which Rain is letting him know, that this is a serious topic for him. Look at Payu listening. He's going to override but he is making sure Rain feels heard. Good Dom. Now reassurance and comfort. Fuck I'm loving this couple. We are seeing a softer Dom from Payu but this is pretty normal once a D/s relationship is agreed on. Why? Because in the begging your letting the submissive know what you expect. They need to understand what they are getting into, they need to be tested. So they can get out before anyone gets attached. It's a rewarding relationship but not an easy one.

Not Prapai here for the sole purpose of talking to Rain and getting Sky's info. 🤣🤣🤣 Love it! Omg, not brother and best friend staring at them with fondness and also admitting to each other that they've seen Payu lose. This series gonna kill me.

Look a man in uniform is just hot. All kinds of uniforms. It's the taking it off that's truly special though. And Payu can defiantly see that Rain wants it. Hurry and get this race done Payu so we can all see him rip it off. Oh command "put them on me." brat gonna tease "One minute you want to take it off, the next you want to put it on. So hard to please." "Am I really hard to please?" yup, nope, didn't think so. Look at the cute couple with the cute smiles. Oh fuck off, we're having a moment here. You is a dog, you is.

All pictures stolen from @akitbeast by the way.

Your honor, I love these two dorks. Okay Payu, I'm gonna need you to stop giving him such a lead. I don't like tight races against dumbasses. Stomp him into next year. Thank you! Show him the fuck around and find out.

Gif stolen from @ichigokeks This has got to be my favorite moment. Look how uncaring Rain is, he's just hoping into his man's arms. And that smile from Payu! Ahhhhh!

They going to fuck! Payu wants his reward! Nobody care about you. ✌🏽 Ummm. I think I'm bout to have lied about my favorite part.

Cause this for sure is promising. Woot! Oh Oh, yes, push him up against a wall. We approve. Ohhhh yeah, I lied, I lied! This is my favorite part of this episode. The other part was cute but this is hot. Dirty talk, dirty talk. Fuck me, they really are hitting all my kinks. Thank you to the kinster that helped with this series. May you have all the blessings. Cause you sure as hell blessing me.

Shitttttttttttt, Payu I'm gonna need you to wear that racing outfit more. Yes, yes, all those outfits would be good too. "I don't have that kind of kink! Um but yes." 🤣🤣🤣 Don't worry Rain, this is a kinkster safe space.

Cause he wants to know more about him. Well duh but also awww. Yeah, I think we've clearly establish that you guys like each other. Aww. Saying I Love You without officially saying it. I tell my husband that I like him sooo. 🤣🤣🤣

"This is what I call seducing with a costume." #dead. And there is the Sadist. Only gonna get so much soft Dom with that added kink of Sadist. And there is the brat "That is what I call rude." He got your number now Payu, he knows your a Sadist. That ass smack says his seduction worked some. Nope it's not over. That douche canoe is gonna continue to cause problems.

Aww, yes, hurry back home to the baby. More like married couple. They gonna make me mushy. If I didn't know some shady shit was about to come thanks to that douche canoe. Okay, did you notice the command in the form of a request? Not all commands are hard, especially once a couple is more established. Because we can say it nicer as we know it will be done. Generally speaking, you get a good idea on what your brat is gonna push back on.

Fuck they are cute. And yup, douche canoe strikes. To Be Continued.

I didn't think I would be getting this done so early. To be fair, I'm not vehicle shopping like I should be but I'm a little depressed about it. So decided to cheer myself up with the series. Then it went by quick. Maybe cause there wasn't as much kink for me to comment on? So you just got a crap ton of commentary. Sorry! As always, thank you so much for taking the time to read these. Love you guys! 💜💜💜

Dedicated to @l0rd0fther1ng5g5 and the Coconuts Mafia for their ongoing support.

#love in the air the series #love in the air series #love in the air kink #love in the air #luta opinions #luta talks kink #coconuts mafia

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starlit-hopes-and-dreams · 7 months

Text

Chapter 21 ~ Blurry (out of place)

Hidden Depths

Previous ~ Masterlist ~ Next

Also on ao3

Genre: Fantasy whump

CW's: ANGST, omg the angst there’s so much o.o, flashback fun for everyone! 😅, brief nonspecific flashback to csa, panic attack(s), painful wound cleaning, wishing for death, unsure of what is real but not quite unreality so make of it what you will, oh shit-almost forgot: captivity tw, restraints tw :') been awhile since i needed those lol

WC: 4237

Taglist (😱 I remembered this time!): @clairelsonao3, @dont-touch-my-soup, @kixngiggles (i've been having trouble tagging you, but i wanted to put this up here in case you see and were wondering where your tag was)

In which reality is a bit fluid, folks, and no one is happy about it

AN: Including me, I was also unhappy writing this. I need that bunker to protect myself and also to piece my heart back together.

You know that whole bit about how things get worse before they get better? Yeah, that is this :')

Carr

Carr had plenty of time to review her options as she returned to the wreckage of their carriage to search for supplies.

If she “stumbled” into the camp’s clearing, would the reaction be more favorable if she dressed as a man or a woman? Had it been long enough for the bandits to assume the other people in the carriage had died? Surely they had searched and been curious about the lack of bodies, though. Carr tapped a grimy finger on her lip, barely even seeing the gown she’d found stuck in a bush some ways from the crash site.

Aside from the cut on her brow, Carr was also fairly sure she didn’t look like a survivor of the kindling strewn across the ravine. Which meant she could pretend to be a runaway, but… from where? Maybe she could get away with not wanting to say. Fuck if she could even remember the places they had visited.

So. Girl or boy? Child or adult? Found on the outskirts of camp or by the guards on the fringe or just stumbling straight into the camp, bypassing the guards altogether?

While she could physically pass as a child at first glance, it wasn’t a ruse she could keep up for long, and she needed these people to feel sorry for her and take her in. She wrinkled her nose and smoothed Orla’s dress out on the ground in front of her. It was torn in places, which was fine since Carr wanted it to look like she’d been roughing it for a few days. It would be too short, but not by much, so it might make her look… poorer. The material was still too fucking nice, though. Maybe if she got it dirty enough, no one would notice.

Carr left the dress behind and returned to the carriage. Or what was left of it. After a bit of digging, she found one of Orla’s headscarves, this one a pale pastel blue. Perfect; the dumb dress was blue, so it would even match. She rolled her eyes at the thought.

Her hackjob haircut was acceptable for a boy or young man but less so for a woman. She’d never cared about her hair before and wasn’t going to start now, but if she went with the fairer option of subterfuge, she’d need an excuse for that, too. Gods, this sucked. Why did that place have to be filled with what seemed like halfway-decent people instead of a bunch of lowlifes who’d look better with a few more holes in them?

Which was another question. How many weapons could she get away with carrying? Carr ground her teeth, knowing very well she’d be lucky to justify just one, if it was found.

Even if she went in posing as a man, she couldn’t carry as many blades as she had on her right now. But she’d all but decided on pretending to be a woman–it seemed more likely she’d just be killed straight off as a man–so one blade it was. She’d hide the others somewhere close to the camp so they’d be nearby if she needed them.

She tried not to think of the last time she’d donned a dress while she stripped to her underclothes and pulled on Orla’s garments–which were slightly too small in the chest and shoulders as well as too short.

The clothes she’d discarded served as a wrap for her extra blades; the only one she’d kept was strapped to her thigh beneath her skirts, which ended at mid-calf instead of her ankles. Each breath she took was stifled, and her range of motion was shit. This was starting off just wonderfully.

It just needed to get her into the camp, she reminded herself. Too small clothes, chopped off hair, small and skinny with a bruised face… someone would take pity on her. They had to.

Carr hadn’t caught sight of Resh in a day and a half. She’d spent all damned day watching the fucking camp. Now dusk was approaching, and she wasn’t willing to wait another night. She needed in now, and gods help these people if she didn’t like what she found.

~~~

Resh

Resh’s head hurt–like ice-picks stabbing his eyes, vice-grip around his temples, skull about to crack like an egg hurt.

The pain about drowned out the red-hot pulsing under his collarbone. The rest of his body didn’t feel all that great either.

He groaned soundlessly and tried to curl up on his side.

Resistance. He couldn’t move his arms.

Nothing but darkness greeted him when his eyes snapped open. Which his head appreciated, but his mind not so much. Resh yanked on his arm, but the motion had no effect except to send shards of agony lancing through his chest. Shit, his ribs… gasping shallowly for air, he stilled.

What the fuck what the fuck what the fuck

The air went nowhere as everything he thought he knew splintered and warped, aided by the throbbing in his head. He was lying on something hard, in the dark, his limbs tied down, pain splintering through every facet of his being.

It was a dream. It had to be a dream. He squeezed his eyes closed, willing himself to wake up. To not be back there. The last weeks couldn’t have been the dream. They couldn’t have they couldn’t!

He started struggling again, hoping he would wake up if he hurt himself in real life, but a voice penetrated the weighted silence, its owner sounding as if the person was moving. Straining his ears, Resh paused, listening.

“Burning pits, Lox, did you see his forehead? He’s a royal mage, we can’t be stealing royal mages!”

A royal mage? Horror washed through him at the thought. Is that what the prince had done when he’d branded him? Claimed him for the Crown? Fuck; fuck!

And who was that talking? No one spoke in his dreams but the prince, which meant…

His stomach twisted. This was real? But then, the prince shouldn’t know about his magic, not unless he’d used it without realizing… He cringed as a vicious throb tried to liquefy his brain. It felt-it felt like a reaction headache–oh gods, what had he done?

“If such a thing even exists, we could surely ransom him. If not, could you imagine how useful a Kinetic would be? I’m not interested in killing people–I don’t want another such occurrence as what just happened. Robbing people is annoying, sure, but killing them will get us hunted down and exterminated.”

The unknown voices moved on, becoming indistinguishable before fading away completely. The meaning of the words barely penetrated the fog of Resh’s panic, but one thing stood out.

Ransom? But–he tugged on his wrists, wincing as coarse rope chafed his skin. Everything felt muddled and upside down and wrong and–Carr! Killing people? Carr killed people, but… that’s not what that person had meant, now was it. Resh’s heart was beating so hard he thought it might break through his chest. His eyes couldn’t penetrate the darkness, his thoughts couldn’t…

Flashes of memory, purple light flooding a carriage. He had tried so hard to cushion them with his magic… Lightning speared through his head, obliterating the memory. Resh cried out, nothing emerging but a puff of air.

Hot tears trickled down his temples, tracking down into his hair as his breathing quickened. He’d failed. If killing people was bad, if they wanted him so it wouldn’t happen again–it meant he’d failed, that Carr and his sister were–were dead.

He keened silently at the thought until the pain in his chest left him too breathless to continue. His mind twisted again as he lay there, panting through the waves of physical and emotional agony.

But was that–was that real? The carriage, the crash–had that happened? Or–he pulled on his arms again–was he still in the prince’s torture chamber, awaiting the man’s next godsforsaken sadistic whim?

Resh shuddered, his heart beating erratically while his skin flushed hot then cold, leaving him clammy and even more uncomfortable. He couldn’t–he couldn’t… His thoughts scattered, his mind shutting down.

As pain and despair dragged him back under, he couldn’t decide which reality would be worse.

~~~

Carr

Branches whipped past Carr as she ran, one etching a line of fire across her cheek when she misjudged the distance in the waning light under the Seleni Wood’s canopy. Shouts echoed behind her, and an arrow whizzed past, barely missing as it embedded into a nearby tree with an ominous thud.

Fuck fuck fuck. She’d meant to get close enough to the camp to approach one of the women, figuring she’d have better luck appealing to them than just walking into a bandit camp and looking stunned, an easy target for archery practice.

The perimeter had been guarded more heavily than she’d been able to tell from afar. Now, she was a moving archery target. Less easy, surely, but fuck it all, not ideal. Her heart thrummed quickly enough that the individual beats were indistinguishable as she ducked under a low-hanging branch and swung around a tree, heading deeper into the underbrush. She could get away, probably. But that would defeat the purpose, so she needed to allow herself to be caught. Without getting killed, preferably.

But the men chasing her would tackle her, take her down. The thought made her skin crawl–would they stop there, buy the not-so-much-an-act she’d put on, or would they prove to be the brand of bandits she’d originally thought they’d be?

It’s for Resh. She repeated the thought over and over as she “tripped” and curled up on the ground, covering her scarf-wrapped head. Her body quivered for real as she awaited either an arrow to the back or rough hands grabbing her.

Thankfully–but also not–callused fingers wrapped around her wrists in a bruising grip, forcing her arms to the ground by her head as a large man dressed in patched leathers straddled her body.

“The fuck,” he said, staring down into what Carr supposed were her saucer-wide eyes.

Eyes that rapidly filled with tears as she put up a weak struggle against his hold. It took everything she had not to wrap her legs around the man’s waist and flip him off her–would’ve been hard to do in the stupid too-tight dress anyway, and moreover, would’ve been suspicious. But gods.

“What’ve you got?” another male voice called from somewhere to her left.

“A fucking woman,” her captor responded, gripping her wrists even harder. He moved, placing one knee between her legs, which effectively pinned them in place within the prison of her skirts.

Carr went limp, focusing all her energy on convincing her body not to fight and flee. Her heart was beating so hard she was sure the man could hear it.

“Are there more?” a third voice asked. Crunching followed their question, the person moving with no care through the detritus of the forest.

The man cocked a dark brow at her. “Well?”

She shook her head frantically. “N-no. No. Please–” Her voice cracked, and she snapped her mouth closed, swallowing against the tears thickening her throat.

Rotten breath wafted across her face while a hand swept under her skirt.

“That’s right, be a good girl now and I’ll be nice to you, I promise.”

One hand pinned both her wrists now while the other swept over her body, then beneath her skirt, unerringly finding the blade strapped to her thigh.

She shivered beneath the too-large body, her cheek throbbing where he’d already hit her, her wrists aching beneath his hold.

Her wrists ached beneath the man’s hold as he held up the dagger and laughed. “Do you even know how to use this?”

A mixture of rage and shame set her face aflame, and the cut on her cheek throbbed. Her breath caught.

Dark hair curled around his face, framing amused blue eyes that quickly darkened with concern. “Hey, are you alright?”

The hand covering her mouth after she’d screamed for help was too big. It covered her nose as well and she couldn’t breathe couldn’t breathe couldn’t

She couldn’t breathe, the air she sucked in between choked-off sobs going nowhere as she battled her past to stay in the way too similar present.

“Shit.” The man scrambled off her, calling out to his friends.

The words he exchanged with them made no sense through the ringing in her ears. Pinpricks of white flashed before her eyes, and aside from tucking her hands beneath her chin, Carr didn’t move–couldn’t move.

Memory flickered in and out of her mind’s eye–no matter what, it was always this one she was thrown back into. This one that haunted her dreams. This one that paralyzed her, highlighting how fucking helpless she’d been–

Carr pushed up with a wheezing gasp, flinching as hands reached out to help her. She was not helpless; she was just pretending. Pretending pretending pretending

A hand moved over her back, up and down, up and down, and she trembled, desperately trying to keep still and allow this strange man to comfort her.

“Hey, it’s alright,” he murmured. “I’m sorry about before, we thought… it doesn’t matter what we thought.” Leaning forward, he caught Carr’s eyes. “You with me now?”

She nodded, averting her gaze so he wouldn’t see how much she wanted to turn and rip his hand off. Her skin prickled.

“Look like you’ve been through it. You need help?”

Not trusting her voice, she nodded again.

Someone scoffed. Movement caught in her peripheral vision, and she twisted her head, rearing back. The man’s hand moved, tightening around her shoulder.

“Just gonna take her at her word? Probably some thief putting on an act.”

Her captor-turned-protector pulled her back against his chest. She made herself melt into him, pulling up her legs to make herself smaller while the new bandit glared at her suspiciously.

“You didn’t see her when I had her pinned. No one puts on an act like that.” Her bandit’s voice dripped with derision.

Carr couldn’t decide if it was directed towards her or the other man. Didn’t matter, long as he decided she was worth helping. Take me back, take me back, take me back, she chanted in her head. Her body shaking like a leaf was entirely unfeigned; the reaction disgusted her, but she didn’t suppress it, letting her fucking weakness serve its purpose.

“She needs help.”

“So bring her some supplies and send her on her way. We gotta get back to our post,” the suspicious one said.

“More help than that!” her bandit responded hotly.

Carr let a small whimper escape, pressing a hand to her mouth after in a show of embarrassment. Her bandit held her closer, and she closed her eyes, trying to imagine he was Resh so she wouldn’t do something stupid like pull his dagger and slit his throat. She wanted to crawl outta her skin. She couldn’t. Couldn’t couldn’t couldn’t.

“You gonna take responsibility for her?” another voice cut in. There was an extra layer of meaning beneath their tone that Carr didn’t trust in the slightest.

Shit, she’d forgotten about the third bandit. She snapped her head around, watching that one’s approach closely. Tall and slim, with toned muscles evident beneath gear in better condition than the other two, they moved fluidly through the brush towards her. Both her bandit and the suspicious one went still, waiting quietly as they studied Carr. Clearly, that one was the leader and would be the deciding factor on whether she was getting into the camp or not.

Carr dropped her gaze when they crouched before her, jabbing their bow into the ground to lean upon. Their gaze felt like tiny bugs crawling across her skin, and she shivered.

After what felt like forever, they finally nodded and stood, strapping their bow over their shoulder. “Fine. Let’s get back. Lox’ll have your hide for this, just so y’know.”

The suspicious one huffed, sounding dissatisfied.

A thrill went through Carr as her bandit assisted her to her feet, but she kept her eyes wide and expression fearful.

“C’mon,” he said gently, settling his arm around her shoulder.

Ugh. But she leaned into him, allowing him to lead her back to the camp. Her eyes snagged on her dagger, shoved without care through the man’s belt, and her fingers twitched, itching to thieve it back.

Not yet. She had to pretend a bit longer. For Resh.

~~~

Resh

A cool cloth brushed over the sensitive skin of Resh’s forehead, waking him.

His head didn’t hurt as badly, but gods, he felt like he was on fire, his flesh burning, set aflame from a single pulsing point on his chest.

Subtly, he pulled on his arms, only to find they were still restrained. A shiver went through him, and the cloth pulled away abruptly.

Resh cracked open his eyes to find a stocky figure sitting beside him, the lamplight flickering over their shoulder-length blond hair. He caught a flash of green as they turned their head to the side, and his insides froze over even while the heat scalded his skin.

“Good, you’re awake,” the figure said, turning back to him holding a wooden cup. “You need to drink.”

He shook his head, even though his mouth was dry, so so dry. No. No no nonono he wasn’t back with the prince he wasn’t he wasn’t he–

A hand gripped the back of his head, forcing it up as the cup was pressed to his lips. Liquid poured in, and he choked, unready. It kept coming anyway, so he forced himself to drink through the coughing. It was that or drown.

“Good, that’s good,” the prince said.

Resh sobbed as he was released, then pressed his lips together to suppress another bubbling cough. He squeezed his eyes closed, unwilling to look at the rest of his surroundings. Unwilling to see white limestone, the final confirmation of his delusions. Real, this felt so real. Too real.

But so had everything else! Carr, finally, finally talking to him in that meadow. Her small hands removing his gloves, resting against his cheek, soothing him after a nightmare.

His sister, healthy, her hair growing, her skin losing its pallor. Laughing and joking and enjoying their journey.

Had it really all been a figment of his imagination? A fever dream? He certainly felt like he had a fever. His heart cracked, the pieces crumbling as he came one step closer to believing the torture chamber was his reality. Maybe he would actually die this time, and it could all just be over.

“He looks like shit,” a different voice said. Deeper.

“Yeah, well. You shot him. Don’t know what you expected, really. Don’t think it hit a lung, at least, or surely he’d be dead by now.”

He wished he was. Gods, how he wished he was.

“I need your help. Need to wash the wound out again, but he always fights, even restrained. Tore the stitches out once already.”

A sigh, then hands clamping on his shoulders–his bare shoulders–pressing them flat against the hard surface he laid upon. Pain lanced through his chest, and he cried out soundlessly, trying to pull away. Another figure straddled his hips, pinning him down even more.

“We’re just trying to help you!” one of them shouted at him, but he didn’t, couldn’t trust the words, especially as the liquid poured over his chest.

He could feel it bubbling in the wound, the fire multiplied by a thousand, burrowing in to burn him alive inside now as well as out. He would’ve screamed, had the prince not ripped even that away from him already.

“I know it hurts, and I’m sorry, but I have got to clean out the wound.”

Lies. He wasn’t sorry. Resh shook his head from side to side, straining, desperate to get away from it. Lies lies lies lies

“He hasn’t made a single sound, but he looks like he’s screaming.”

“Have you seen his chest? This guy has been through some shit. I don’t like doing this, Lox.”

“It needs to be done, or he’ll die. Do you want that?”

The words washed over Resh, a haze of agony coating everything. They didn’t make sense. Who the fuck was Lox? But he blinked as the pain died down a little, saw the prince bending over him, and didn’t know anymore.

What was real? This pain was real–but was it? Sometimes it wasn’t, he remembered, but then more liquid poured and his mind whited out under the blistering pain and his throat strained to make sounds it was no longer capable of producing.

When he came back around, the shape of familiar words flying off his lips–please, no more, please, no more–someone was gently patting at his chest, saying the last words he expected.

“I’m sorry, I know it hurts. I’m trying to be as careful as I can. Sorry.”

Exhausted, Resh laid his head back down. His shoulders were no longer pressed down, and there was no weight across his waist. He opened his eyes but allowed them to skim past that person who was the prince who wasn’t the prince because they kept apologizing every time he flinched.

A flash of blue caught his attention, just past the large man blocking most of the doorframe across the room. The room with whitewashed wooden walls, not stone. Or was it? Oh gods. He blinked. Hazel eyes peered under the man’s–Lox’s?–arm, there and then gone so quickly Resh wasn’t sure he’d seen correctly.

But he’d know those eyes anywhere, and his heart leapt.

It just didn’t make sense. Nothing was making sense.

The cup was pressed to his mouth again, and Resh swallowed this time instead of choking, grimacing at the sticky sweetness left behind on his tongue. The other man was gone by the time he finished, and so was the person in blue.

It couldn’t have been Carr, then.

It couldn’t have been anyway because if this was not the torture chamber, then Carr was dead. Orla was dead. He had as good as killed them, making them travel across the country with him.

Resh turned his head away from the cup when it was offered again, and this time the prince not prince didn’t push it on him.

He watched dully as they dimmed the lamp, then left the room, the sound of a lock snicking closed horribly familiar.

And yet, he didn’t care.

Worse, he decided as the room began to waver in his vision. As his heart caved in and left what felt like a jagged, fist-sized hole behind. As his chest heaved with the silent sobs he no longer bothered to hold back. This was so much worse.

His crying sparked lancets of agony radiating across his body from the burning wound under his collarbone. Every stuttering gasp felt like inhaling shards of broken glass. He welcomed the pain.

But whatever had been in the water fuzzed his mind, and his eyes eventually drifted closed, his breathing leveling off. The tears tracking down his temples followed him into his drugged sleep.

~~~

Carr

Carr’s bandit marched her straight into the biggest of only three cabins in the bandit’s little valley, past the watchful eyes of probably most of the place’s inhabitants.

Demex, he’d told her his name was.

Well, Demex bore up against the scrutiny well, even as Carr cringed away from it. Maybe because she cringed, which he could very well tell with his arm around her shoulder, dragging her body into his side. She permitted it. She had no choice, now did she.

For Resh.

Demex bore up less well under Lox’s scrutiny. Carr flattened herself against the wall, ostensibly hiding behind her bandit while he got his ass handed to him, but really the positioning allowed her to see under Lox’s arm into the room he was trying to block with his body. Kind of.

She caught flashes of someone moving around a bed. What looked like medical supplies on a nearby table, some bloodied bandages.

And then–a pair of red-rimmed brown eyes. Their gazes met for all of five seconds before the person at his bedside blocked her view, but Carr was certain it was him.

Her heart sped up, her breaths quickening. So fast! She couldn’t believe she’d found him so quickly. And he was alive. Her knees buckled as relief sluiced through her, and all that saved her from sliding down the wall was Demex’s hand slipping around her waist.

“Hey there, you alright? Rowan is a little busy right now, but they can check you out in the morning, if that suits?”

“Alright,” Carr said faintly. She willed strength back into her legs. “Wh-what now?”

“What now is you get to talk to me,” Lox said, stepping out of the room and closing the door behind him.

The only thing that stopped her from snatching her dagger back, burying it in this guy’s chest, and bursting into that room to get to Resh was that it appeared as if they were caring for his injuries.

And the small matter that a move like that would certainly get her killed. But she would’ve done it regardless, if she’d thought it necessary.

Not yet, she told herself, staring up into the eyes of the man who’d chased their fucking carriage down.

#hidden depths #whump #whump writing #original writing #original characters #fantasy whump #warnings above the cut #captivity tw #restraints tw #flashback tw #panic attack tw #wishing for death #painful wound cleaning

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