#though i think bill marginally wins

[itsbenedict]

Just finished this game, which I played because my brain has been fried by work problems and I needed something to chill with, but mainly because @konec0 did the soundtrack and I wanna support what he's doing. Still appreciate you pitching in on Nepetaquest 2011 back in the day, dude!

Cuisineer is an arcadey restaurant manager game, and also an isometric hack-and-slash dungeon-crawler roguelike. You delve dungeons to get ingredients, you cook and serve those ingredients in your restaurant, you get money with which to upgrade things and get more ingredients and serve more food. Solid concept!

Does it work? Well... It's very cute, and very polished, but it's held back by some very strange design decisions.

In short... its primary and secondary gameplay loops clearly had a lot of love put into them, but the tertiary loop- the progression systems- are very weirdly balanced to the point of being almost broken.

Bad thing 1

The main problem: everything costs wood and stone. Everything costs wood and stone, and costs more wood and stone the further you upgrade things. But you don't get more wood and stone the further you get in the game, at least once your inventory space maxes out. Wood and stone give way to Magic Wood and Super-Stone of various sorts, which are required for stronger upgrades, but you still need big piles of the basic stuff and can't substitute the advanced stuff, and it's the limiting factor on every single purchase in the game except health potions and rugs for some reason. Combine that with sharply limited inventory space, and money from running the restaurant very swiftly stops mattering compared to how many times you've farmed the starting level for crafting materials. It functionally locks you out of what might be fun systems, like the decoration and furniture stuff- since doing anything cosmetic trades off against progression.

Bad thing 2

Also- in the dungeon-crawler half, there's not much advancement to speak of. You might think these resources could be spent to make you stronger, but... upgrading weapons is expensive and time-consuming and has extremely marginal rewards. Like, the starting weapon does 10 damage, and a fully-upgraded endgame weapon might do 15. The game seems to be trying really hard to avoid being an RPG and letting the player get stronger over time- the various mechanics for upgrading your combat capabilities are just not worth it, and the random weapon drops are mostly identical and do nothing but clutter your inventory.

(It feels like it's trying to limit progression so it can bill itself as a roguelike, even though that's not really what the game is on any meaningful level? Not a choice that really works for it as its own game, imo.)

Bad thing(?) 3

The game's combat is an odd duck. It's... very polished, and very compelling, if you use the one approach that actually works. There's nine weapons, but only a handful are viable with the way combat is designed.

Enemies have very short windows where it's safe to attack them, and are quick to punish you for bad timing or wrong positioning. Reminds me of a soulslike, almost. Healing is sharply limited, so you really need to be careful not to get hit by stuff- and there's so much stuff. Walk into a room, or too close to a room, and everything in it will instantly aggro you, including artillery enemies with long-distance ranged attacks. Problems appear quickly and overwhelmingly, so combat ends up being a case of... dodging massive walls of tomato danmaku and miscellaneous enemy projectiles as you charge into rooms full of enemies and hazards, trying to find one safe place to stand for one second while you hit one enemy for chip damage, over and over again until you gradually thin the enemy numbers and win yourself room to breathe. It's very intense and very fun once you get the rhythm...

...but some weapons just plain don't fit into that rhythm. Many enemies need to be consistently stunlocked to deal damage to them safely, and the reloading projectile weapons and slow hard-hitting weapons just can't do that, forcing you to take hits, which you can't afford to do. Narrow-hitbox spear-type weapons fare poorly against crowds of small enemies who can slip past your guard, which are Everywhere. There's a fun kebab weapon that lets you charge and dash around the stage, but levels are claustrophobic and full of hazards that punish you for doing that. As Chiyo Kumasawa foretold: the only thing you can rely on is your trusty mackerel.

There's also a weird and kind of funny tradeoff where... you can't meaningfully upgrade your damage, but you can roll elemental status effects that can give you some multipliers and useful passive AoE damage as you're dashing around trying not to die. But... these huge AoE elemental effects have very wide, obtrusive visuals that hide the enemies on the screen, and you really need to be paying attention to enemy animations so you don't get hit. It's a sort of unintentional tradeoff of defense for strength, which weirdly works.

Bad thing 4

The writing's kinda flat. You've been hoodwinked into taking on your parents' debt and running their restaurant, you have to pay it off- it's established pretty hastily and mainly ignored. The townspeople have very cute designs, but they're all kind of nothingburger characters whose lives revolve around the urgent need for you to deliver them lots of random food items for contrived reasons in exchange for recipes and stuff. Cast kind of comes off like some softcore smut artist's stable of OCs whose personalities were afterthoughts. Doesn't really go anywhere, the localization's pretty stiff, most jokes don't land... doesn't seem like there was a lot of effort put in there.

Good thing 1

I spill way more words nitpicking flaws than I do praising stuff, but I did enjoy this game enough to finish it, and it's not for no reason.

Firstly- the restaurant section. I have no complaints about the restaurant mode! It's polished to a mirror sheen, honestly. I'm given to understand the restaurant sim is a genre, mainly native to phones, and maybe this all works because it's cribbing mechanics from some more successful inspiration I've never heard of, but... it's just very enjoyable, void of potentially annoying cooking mechanics and letting you focus on queuing up dishes, keeping track of orders, and dashing around making sure everything is running smoothly. The balance job is very nice- the difficulty during lunch and dinner rushes is just enough to make you sweat a little as things ramp up, and they last just long enough to get the most out of the pressure without totally overwhelming you. Chef's kiss, no notes.

Good thing 2

konec0's soundtrack is real good! I mostly know him for his electroswing and HS fanmusic, but he can clearly pull off a wide range of styles. It matches the overall sound design really well and it's enjoyable to listen to. Excellent job there!

Good thing 3

The "final dungeon" segment does this very cool and fun thing where it combines the dungeon-crawling combat and the restaurant management into one challenging final exam where you have to survive combat arenas to scrounge up ingredients as you cook them up and serve them, which would maybe get exhausting in core gameplay but works really well as a challenge for the end of the game. Liiiiittle bit too easy in the first two rounds, but it's fine.

Good thing 4

I already mentioned this alongside the nitpicks, but: when the combat works, it works- the feel of it is satisfying, the challenge is well-calibrated, and the animations look great and convey what's happening well.

Good thing 5

Also the character art is very cute. Lot of fun designs there, even if as mentioned the characters they're attached to are pretty flat. The game's just gorgeous in general- the artists knocked it out of the park.

OH WAIT BAD THING 5

The game's cover/key art prominently features a squid that throws ninja stars! But there's no squid that throws ninja stars in the game! How the heck did that happen!!! Give me the ninja squid!!!!!

#cuisineer #game rec #idk if it's a rec since my opinions are pretty mixed but it should go in the tag #maybe i should go through and add a game review tag

[dreaminginthedeepsouth]

Mike Luckovich

* * * * *

LETTERS FROM AN AMERICAN

August 10, 2023

HEATHER COX RICHARDSON

“Good Lord, Who Among Us Hasn’t Paid For A Clarence Thomas Vacation?” David Kurtz of Talking Points Memo asked this morning. Kurtz was reacting to a new piece by Brett Murphy and Alex Mierjeski in ProPublica detailing Justice Thomas’s leisure activities and the benefactors who underwrote them. 

Those activities include “[a]t least 38 destination vacations, including a previously unreported voyage on a yacht around the Bahamas; 26 private jet flights, plus an additional eight by helicopter; a dozen VIP passes to professional and college sporting events, typically perched in the skybox; two stays at luxury resorts in Florida and Jamaica; and one standing invitation to an uber-exclusive golf club overlooking the Atlantic coast.” The authors add that this “is almost certainly an undercount.”

Thomas did not disclose these gifts, as ethics specialists say he should have done. House Democrats Ted Lieu (D-CA), Pramila Jayapal (D-WA), Bill Pascrell (D-NJ), Gerry Connolly (D-VA), and Hank Johnson (D-GA) have said Thomas must resign. Senator Sheldon Whitehouse (D-RI), who has led the effort to extricate the Supreme Court from very wealthy interests for years, commented: “I said it would get worse; it will keep getting worse.”

Thomas’s benefactors, Murphy and Mierjeski noted, “share the ideology that drives his jurisprudence.” That ideology made Trump lawyer Kenneth Chesebro, who has been in the news for the release of his December 6, 2020, memo outlining how to steal the 2020 presidential election, speculate that Thomas was the Supreme Court justice the plotters could count on to back their coup. “Realistically,” Chesebro wrote to lawyer John Eastman, “our only chance to get a favorable judicial opinion by Jan. 6, which might hold up the Georgia count in Congress, is from Thomas—do you agree, Prof. Eastman?” 

Last Saturday, Republican leaders in Alabama illustrated that their ideology means they reject democracy. After the Supreme Court agreed that the congressional districting map lawmakers put in place after the 2020 census probably violated the 1965 Voting Rights Act, a lower court ruling that required a new map went into effect. But Alabama Republican lawmakers simply refused. 

Alexander Willis of the Alabama Daily News reported that at a meeting of the Alabama state Republican Party on Saturday, the party’s legal counsel David Bowsher applauded the lawmakers, saying, “House Speaker [Kevin] McCarthy doesn’t have that big a margin, that costs him one seat right there. I can’t tell you we’re going to win in this fight; we’ve got a Supreme Court that surprised the living daylights out of me when they handed down this decision, but I can guarantee you, if the Legislature hadn’t done that, we lose.”

Paul Reynolds, the national committeeman of the party, went on: “Let me scare you a little bit more; Texas has between five and ten congressmen that are Republicans that could shift the other way,” he continued. “How could we win the House back ever again if we’re talking about losing two in Louisiana, and losing five to ten in Texas? The answer’s simple: It’s never.”

Alabama attorney general Steve Marshall added: “Let’s make it clear, we elect a Legislature to reflect the values of the people that they represent, and I don’t think anybody in this room wanted this Legislature to adopt two districts that were going to guarantee that two Democrats would be elected…. What we believe fully is that we just live in a red state with conservative people, and that’s who the candidates of Alabama want to be able to elect going forward.”

The determination of Republican officials to hold onto power even though they appear to know they are in a minority is part of what drove even Republican voters in Ohio to reject their proposal to require 60% of voters, rather than a simple majority, to approve changes in the state constitution. 

Meanwhile, today’s July consumer price index report showed that annual inflation has fallen by about two thirds since last summer, a better-than-expected number suggesting that measures to cool the economy are working without hurting the economy. Real wages have outpaced inflation for the last five months, and unemployment is at a low the U.S. hasn’t seen since 1969. 

At the same time, the country is ending one of the last pieces of the social safety net put in place during Covid: the rule that people on Medicaid could remain covered without renewing their coverage each year. That rule ended in April, and states are purging their Medicaid rolls of those who they say no longer qualify. In the last three months, 4 million people have lost their Medicaid coverage, mostly because of paperwork problems. (Texas dropped an eye-popping 52% of beneficiaries due for renewal in May.) 

Biden officials have tried to pressure states quietly to fix the errors—including long waits to get phone calls answered and slow processing of applications, as well as paperwork errors—but yesterday released letters it had sent to individual states to warn them they might be violating federal law. Thirty-six states did not meet federal requirements.

LETTERS FROM AN AMERICAN

HEATHER COX RICHARDSON

#Heather Cox Richardson #Clarence Thomas #SCOTUS #corrupt scotus #Slow rolling coup #Civil War #Deep South #Letters From An American #Rule of Law #medicaid #coup #coup attempt

[striving-artist]

I'll be honest, I think there's a lot of conflation (in general) of how you actually vote when you cast your ballot and what you vocally support in the lead up to that. Preferably those align, but that isn't always possible. For example, our two party system means that, instead of voting for who we actually want, we have to look at who is most likely to get elected so we don't split the vote. Which kinda sucks lmao.

In this case, I think We the Left™ are unnecessarily split along the lines of those advocating voting for Biden bc he's the lesser of two evils and those wanting to pressure him into shifting his stance so he can gain back any votes he may have lost. To some extent I think both sides are unnecessarily focusing on the differences in how they're going about forcing change without realizing it's two different avenues to reach the same end result.

Do I think those advocating voting for Biden right now are being more conservative (not in a political sense lol) than they should be? Yeah. Do I think those saying they're considering not voting are casting away electoral victories when they can still make things materially better? Also yeah.

Full disclosure:

I, personally, fall more into the second camp than the first, not bc I don't agree with the first, but bc we're literally a year out from the election and (I feel) it's too early to just kinda capitulate. I think it's more important right now to make them realize they can't just bank on votes bc they're the lesser evil (yes. ik that's what's gonna end up happening, but I don't want them to know that), and if they ignore what their constituents are asking for there will be consequences.

To be clear, I (and I'm inclined to say many others in a similar position) am going to end up voting Biden in the next election bc the Dems don't really have another viable candidate and four years of Trump (or whoever the Reps go with) is going to be a shitshow. And no one wants that lmao.

Basically my biggest issue with saying "vote blue no matter who" (even though I agree with the sentiment) is that we still have at least a couple months where maybe we can force shifts by even just marginally threatening their power bc they thought We The Left™ were locked down.

There are definitely gonna be some people who end up not voting (for whatever reason), and there isn't gonna be much we can do right now to change it, but I think it'll be a low enough number that it wouldn't have a seriously severe impact.

(I have no idea if this makes any sense. I'm writing this right before I'm gonna go sleep and I'm yawning sm lmao)

(also, I hope this doesn't come across as combative or bad faith or anything like that. it's genuinely meant to be me vomiting (very jumbled up) thoughts into your ask box lmao)

This is all solid.

I don't think talking about not voting for Biden over this is of much use, just because its too far out, and there's not a lot of people you could put opposite Trump - or the other GOP candidates - that would make us vote for the GOP guy. We'll hold our nose, but we know we'll do it. They know it too.

We could put more pressure on him if there was a primary. But Political parties are private groups not public organizations, so we can't force them to have one, and they're not going to break from Biden. It is literally their party, their rules.

But you know what we do have? Down Ballot Primaries for federal office. Every member of Congress and a third of the Senate are up. Dems, GOP, jungle primaries. The primaries stretch for months. Putting pressure there can be very effective. Directly on that election, but also as a broader statement. If all the candidates calling this out as genocide and war crimes win their primary? Or even just exceed expectations? If it stays that way as time passes?

That is an obvious, measurable thing that sends the message that we aren't going to just forget about this. It can also get more votes in the House to reject the appropriations bills.

#us politics

[somethingusefulfromflorida]

This is my honest opinion about the future of abortion rights in the United States: when the Supreme Court overturns Roe v Wade, Nancy Pelosi and Chuck Schumer will announce a bill to protect the right to an abortion, and it will FAIL SPECTACULARLY, going down in flames! It'll pass the House by a razor thin margin, but it'll be rejected by the Senate. It will die in committee, or it will be tabled (in most countries tabling a bill means to push it forward, but in the US it means the exact opposite, it means to postpone it indefinitely, and it only takes one senator objection to table it), or Schumer will put it up to a vote and let it die on the floor without 60 yeas. There will be half-hearted talks about maybe nuking the filibuster, but it'll never go through; the Democrats don't have 50 votes for it. Joe Manchin will NEVER nuke the fillibuster; he won't come right out and say he supports an abortion ban, he'll say "we don't want to be too hasty, we don't want to retaliate tit for tat on every issue, banning and unbanning and rebanning based on political ideology instead of the constitution. I'm not gonna blindly vote one way or the other, I want to see a comprehensive bipartisan bill, and then I'll make my decision," which is kinda like asking to see a leprechaun blowing a unicorn. The Democrats will run on a midterm platform of abortion rights, and Joe Manchin will let all the wind out of their sails, sabotaging the entire party by refusing to commit to anything Schumer or Pelosi or Biden want to do, and they'll let him because they don't want to hurt his feelings and push him to become an Independent and caucus with the Republicans. The Democrats have power now, and are blowing it, and they think that they're gonna be rewarded with more power come November?!? Oh, I have no doubt that the base will be energized, but it's gonna be focused almost entirely in safe states where they already hold majorities because of Republican fuckery with the election maps and voting rights; the Democrats will win the nationwide popular vote, I guarantee it, but they will lose seats and the media will blame them for it for being "too radical." And even though the Republicans are the ones causing the problem, they will make huge gains because they are seen as more conpetent and unified than the Democrats; Republicans in power give Republicans what they want, but Democrats think their voters are babies who don't know what they want and have to be spoonfed the same decades old neoliberal bullshit because the party leaders don't want to shift one fucking nanometer back to the left. Abortion rights will evaporate this summer, and then we all get to grit our teeth and clench our fists until our knuckles turn white in the hopes that the midterms don't fuck us even more; best case scenario, the status quo is maintained, Democrats hold congress and continue to do nothing because a handful of conservatives among them want a compromise where none exists. More likely, the Democrats lose one or both houses of congress and then Biden becomes a lame duck whose only job is to veto Republican bills (and he'll never seat another judge for the rest of his term; McConnell will hold every single nomination hostage again, just like he did to Obama, and Biden will either not be allowed to make recess appointments or he will choose not to because he doesn't want to set the precedent that the president can put people on the bench without Senate approval, even temporarily, though we all know Republicans will have no such qualms should the tides ever turn against them like this).

We are witnessing a tragedy in slow motion. The ship hit an iceberg years ago, and the qater has been rising this whole time, but everyone in power has to pretend like everything is okay because they don't want passengers to freak out yet.

#abortion #roe v wade #mississippi #politics #political #i'm so mad I could spit #i have seen the future

[debunkingtherightwing]

Floridumbassery

Dingbat Dave's political analysis naturally revolves around Joe Rogan clips (source: The Rubin Report on YouTube)

Well, as you might have heard, Ron DeSantis dropped out of the 2024 presidential race on Sunday. Since this piece of news is related to Florida, I figured I would go to my number one source for Florida related news; professional Ron DeSantis simp Dave Rubin.

In all seriousness, for those who don't inhabit the cartoon version of reality we call the "conservative media ecosphere", let me fill you in on Dave Rubin's connection to Ron DeSantis because it's a great example of how much of a complete moron Dave Rubin truly is.

So, Dave lives in Florida and his decision to move there was almost entirely informed by how much he liked Ron DeSantis as a governor. So naturally when Ron announced that he was running for president Dave was overjoyed and gave him his full support.

Before the Iowa Caucus, Dave, seemingly thinking he knew something that dozens of trained political analysts and my 11 year old cousin didn't, predicted that there would be a DeSantis upset in Iowa. Trump won Iowa and Dave has been coping over it on his show ever since. I give him half a month before he goes full MAGA bootlicker.

Anyway, I had been waiting for a good excuse to cover Dave again for a while and DeSantis dropping out was just the ticket. A little of this show is Dave coping and a lot of it is him running cover for some really awful people. So, let's get into it.

01:19, Dave Rubin: "OK guys, obviously there is something major to talk about, then we'll dive into a normal show and everything else, but Ron DeSantis has dropped out of the presidential race. This thing is Trumps to lose at this point, Nikki's hanging around, there's the gov who's now back in Tallahassee and we will continue to strengthen the free state of Florida."

There's a slight hint of the theme of Dave's coverage of DeSantis dropping out of the presidential race in the last part of that paragraph.

The theme is that, in what must be one of the most embarrassing rationalizations of a political loss that I have ever seen from a pundit, Dave has decided that Ron lost Iowa because he was too good.

02:25, Dave Rubin: "I just wanna say, first off, that it is always -- this is relative to Ron DeSantis and everything else in life I'd say, it's always worth fighting the good fight."

Dave has got to be the last person in the griftosphere still simping for DeSantis. You don't have political beliefs Dave, remember? That's why you sold your soul to the Koch Brothers and became a conservative media grifter. Move on man.

02:51, Dave Rubin: "I think fighting for good people and fighting for the right ideas are always worth doing and it's not just about if you get the political win or not."

"Yeah, even though he brutally lost and his entire presidential campaigns been a joke for months, DeSantis really won in a way."

Man, I thought conservatives like Dave hated participation trophies.

Also, a lot of those "right ideas" could hurt LGBTQ+ people like Dave and his husband.

The most infamous of these would be the "Don't Say Gay" Bill which is a bill that bans the teaching of sexual orientation from kindergarten through 3rd grade outright and 4th through 12 grade unless it's "expressly required by state academic standards". This bill obviously effects the safety and mental health of LGBTQ+ youths as it turns being anything but straight into a marginalized thing that isn't even allowed to be taught in schools. Studies have shown that students who go to schools that have LGBTQ+ inclusive programing report less victimization due to their sexual identity and a greater feeling of inclusivity.

Even without his bills, DeSantis has shown a disgusting homophobia streak. In a campaign video posted by DeSantis War Room on Twitter, alt-right imagery was overlayed over headlines criticizing Ron's anti-LGBTQ+ bills. It was interspersed with video of Trump (pretending) to support LGBTQ+ rights. The caption of the tweet read "To wrap up "Pride Month," let's hear from the politician who did more than any other Republican to celebrate it…" Real mask off shit.

In short, Dave Rubin is a goon who is campaigning against the rights of other people in the LGBTQ+ community and most likely his as well.

03:09, Dave Rubin: "As a Floridian, one of my concerns was 'Oh, we're gonna send our best guy who's basically done everything right in this state. This state that is a sanctuary for freedom lovers in America. We're gonna send our best guy into the chaos of the crazy machine that destroys everybody.'"

Man, the boot polish that DeSantis uses must be really tasty.

Also, Florida isn't in great shape at all under DeSantis. I already mentioned the regressive policies regarding LGBTQ+ people but here's another bad one; gun violence. A 2022 study showed that Florida has the second highest rate of fatal road rage shootings in the United States, only being beat out by Texas. As of December 14th of last year, Florida had seen 28 mass shootings. This is probably because Dave's hero Ronnie D has been working overtime to turn Florida into a gun owners paradise. In July of 2023, Florida’s government under DeSantis passed a bill that transformed Florida into a permitless carry state, essentially allowing anyone in Florida to carry a concealed weapon without a permit and or training, went into effect.

03:45, Dave Rubin: "When he announced this over the weekend I was kind of relieved."

You keep telling yourself that.

Dave reads a pro-DeSantis tweet from another guy named Dave. Dingbat Dave's in stereo.

06:32, Dave Rubin: "One of the things that I think I'll probably struggle with a little bit over the next year or so, or at least for the 10 months of this campaign is that you know how often I talk about truth on this show and how often I've said the easy thing about supporting DeSantis was, like, it's so rare that there's a politician who tells truth so you don't have to contort yourself to constantly just agree with or back or promote everything he says because your like 'oh its true, its simple, its good.' That's it."

Let's take a look at some of the things Ron has said and remember that, according to Dave, everything this guy says is true and good.

Whilst running for governor, Ron told his supporters not to "monkey this up" by voting for his opponent Andrew Gillum on FOX News. Gillum is an African-American so the likelihood that this dog whistle was a mistake is low.

He also keeps hanging out with Nazi's and racists. In 2017, Ron DeSantis spoke at an event exclusively dedicated to bashing Muslims alongside far-right commentator/likely pedophile Milo Yiannopoulos and Steve Bannon. In it, DeSantis made absolutely ridiculous and unproven claims about Barack Obama not vetting refugees. DeSantis also defended one of his supporters who said we should "bring back the hanging tree".

So yeah, "true, simple, and good". God, I hate all these people so much.

07:01, Dave Rubin: "By the way, I think that's one of the things that he suffered from as a candidate. Just kind of being good. I called it the Tim Duncan syndrome or the Tony Gwynn syndrome, I think that's what Steve Deace called it. If you're consistently batting 350, people aren't excited when you get another base hit. Tim Duncan, you win another MVP, another finals MVP, five time champ, nobody cares anymore, right. And I think DeSantis suffered from a bit of that."

So, DeSantis lost Iowa because he was so consistently good that the voters got bored of how good he is and just stopped caring. Lets be absolutely clear here, no candidate in the history of politics has ever lost because too many people liked them. That makes absolutely no sense. Also, no sports fan on the planet thinks that a players consistent success is boring!

This is the point in the episode where most viewers who are members of the reality based community would realize that this is propaganda and turn it off. But not me, let's slog onwards.

Dave decides to end all the politics talk and now it's time for him to talk about his usual "culture war" bullshit. I was mostly here for Ronnie D related cope and now that I've seen that the show gets excruciatingly boring. Dave talks about how he prefers to talk culture than politics, probably because when he talks about politics he makes himself look like a moron but I digress. He's decided to talk about a crowd of people chanting "fuck Trudeau" at a UFC match in Canada. He plays a clip of Joe Rogan reacting to said chant and then launches straight into his take.

09:46, Dave Rubin: "Again, you may not care that much about UFC. Again, I said it's not really my thing. But I'm trying to show you, when you watch newscasts and they miss all the culture stuff and you wonder 'How did Trump return?' it's because of things like this."

We live in a world with; multiple wars being waged, numerous natural and manmade disasters occurring, and an absolutely bizarre political climate. Dave Rubin's bullshit video of Joe Rogan reacting to a clip of some belligerent assholes cussing out a politician at a wrestling match is obviously low on the totem pole of stories to cover.

Half the problem here is that we don't even know if these guys chanting "fuck Trudeau" were even Canadian. A vast majority of people in that arena were there to see Sean Strickland who has made a name for himself by going on homophobic tirades and defending the trucker convoy, but I'll keep all that under my belt until later in the episode. As somebody who lives in Toronto, we are pretty liberal up here.

10:09, Dave Rubin: "He says 'I like Pierre Polivay'"

I did not misspell that, that's legitimately how Dave pronounced Pierre Poilievre's (pronounced Poly-ev) name. Dave Rubin: Master Orator strikes again.

10:15, Dave Rubin: "But the fact that thousands of people are showing up to a UFC fight to say f the prime minister of Canada, the guy who shut down the truckers and the bank accounts and all of that and was one of the worst COVID authoritarians in the entire world."

I didn't expect to have to talk about the so-called "Freedom" Convoy in a Dave freaking Rubin episode yet here we are. Man, this is a lot more local than I thought it would be.

The truckers he's talking about were a group of protestors, mainly truckers, who descended on major cities like Ottawa to protest against vaccine passports. They also blocked border crossings.

Naturally these protests went way beyond peaceful and became extremely disruptive. The border-blockades blocked off the shipment of essential goods between the US and Canada (and also were a massive pain in the ass for travelers) and the truckers in Ottawa were intentionally obtuse, they infamously honked their horns long into the night which disrupted the lives of people in the city. They even harassed people for the awful crime of.....being outside and wearing a mask. Many of the truckers displayed alt-right iconography like confederate flags and swastikas. For obvious reasons, people in cities like Ottawa legitimately starting fearing for their safety.

The Ottawa Police were actually twice as lenient to the truckers than they were with previous protest movements, and they say white privilege is a thing of the past! Trudeau eventually declared a state of emergency which allowed the RCMP to finally clear the truckers out of the city.

As for the bank accounts, they only froze the bank accounts of the protestors in Ottawa and that was after they were warned that it was going to happen. The freeze was lifted soon after.

Also, lets set the record straight here; these are the same goons who won't shut up about BLM "rioting" because of a couple of isolated incidents. Yet when a protest group of alt-right assholes barges into a city and causes actual chaos, all of a sudden they are heroes. Even if we except the false conclusion that the BLM protests were just a bunch of violent mobs, which the data has shown is false, he should be absolutely against the truckers too.

10:49, Dave Rubin: "Now, I wanna connect this to something that I think is more largely happening in the country. Like, why is it happening? Why are these people showing up to a fight to scream f the prime-minister. Well, there's a specific reason for it in this case. Over the weekend there was a press-conference for this fight and UFC middleweight champ, his name is Sean Strickland, he got into it with a reporter, a woke reporter of course, trying to get him on some past comments."

Half of this episode is Dave defending vicious homophobes. Pretty ironic since he's one of the few gay men in the griftosphere.

So, the reality of this press conference is that this reporter asked Sean to elaborate on a tweet he made in 2021. Now, before I tell you what the tweet said, this is a perfect time to illustrate how the grift works. Notice how Dave doesn't say what those past comments were nor how recently Sean made them. The impression you would get from this is that this reporter dug up some innocuous comment Sean made years ago instead of a publicly available tweet from 2021. Here's what Sean said in the tweet, I'm not typing it because I feel uncomfortable typing this unless I need to;

Yeah, some past comments alright. He's essentially equating being gay with being weak, something which Dave as a gay man shouldn't be so OK with. But Dave doesn't give a shit because defending this asshole is what all of his rightwing friends like Matt Walsh are doing and who cares about principles?

And you know what else? In the press conference Sean doubled down on that hateful rhetoric. The thing that caused Sean's tirade was Sean asking the reporter if he would be OK with having a gay son and "never having grandchildren" (as if there aren't options like adoption and surrogacy). When the reporter said yes, Sean replied by saying this;

"You’re a weak f—ing man, dude. You’re part of the f—ing problem. You elected Justin Trudeau when he seized the bank accounts. You’re just f—ing pathetic,"

Sean also had this to say about transgender people;

“Here’s the thing about Bud Light. Ten years ago, to be trans, was a mental f—ing illness. And now all of a sudden people like you have f—ing weaselled your way into the world. You are an infection. You are the definition of weakness. Everything that is wrong with the world is because of f—ing you,”

Yeah, the fact that Dave is lending his support to this bigoted asshole tells you everything you need to know about Dave's character.

Anyway, Dave plays a clip from the conference. Here's what he has to say about it.

12:22, Dave Rubin: "He's well spoken, I'll give him that much."

More than can be said for you. I find it surprising that Dave, again a gay man, isn't ticked off by Sean's bigoted ramblings. I guess money trumps morals.

12:26, Dave Rubin: "It doesn't even matter if you agree with all of the specifics and I could get into some of the nuance there, that's not really the point. The broader point is that this guy is going after the media in a very Trumpian way."

Because they pointed out that he is a bigot, this shouldn't be that hard to understand.

Also, the “nuisances”. Oh, you mean like the fact that you and your husband have two kids? The fact that this tangent is basically Sean saying he hates you for who you love? Those nuisances Dave?!?

13:15, Dave Rubin: "So the problem, of course, with the woke is that they are so fixated on these faux social issues that they actually ignore real tyranny when it comes from the real tyrants."

I don't think Dave even knows what woke means at this point. I've heard him use it to describe the people he's currently calling "tyrants" and now I guess he's using it to describe activists on the left.

Anyway, I wonder what these "faux-social issues" are? Could it be racism or transphobia? Actually legitimate social issues that the data shows are actually legitimate social issues.

Speaking of transgender people, Dave has thoughts on Sean's disgusting thoughts on them. They are also disgusting.

14:54, Dave Rubin: "Ok, again, you don't have to agree with exactly how he's saying it or anything else. But he is, like, directionally right and also it illustrates the broader point of enough people have had enough of this."

Notice how when it comes to gay people, the line is "it doesn't matter if you agree with all the specifics" whereas when it comes to trans people it's "you don't have to agree with exactly how he's saying it", implying that the transphobia is less of an issue than the cursing.

Also, a majority of the population is fine with trans people for the simple fact that they deserve the right to exist. It's just these right-wing goons who know how to scream loudly enough that they seem like the majority.

15:13, Dave Rubin: "It's like, do you think that this guy, when he was training to be a great fighter for years and years and years, thought that mostly when he would be giving press conferences before the biggest fight of his life he'd be talking about whether girls are boys and boys are girls."

Does Dave think that the reporter just asked him that question for shits and giggles? Sean got asked that question because he espoused disgusting views on the subject of LGBTQ+ rights and any journalist worth their salt would press him on that in an interview or press conference.

15:29, Dave Rubin: "Woke-ism has infected literally everything in society from the military down to the UFC and everything in between and now people have had enough."

Even going by the loose and ever changing Dave Rubin definition of "woke", the UFC is so far from woke that it isn't even funny. The president of the UFC, Dana White, is an open Trump fan for one.

Woke is just Dave Rubin's "git-r-done!"

15:40, Dave Rubin: "And again, I would connect that exactly to the rocket fuel that is behind Trump right now."

You can already sense Dave slowly switching over into MAGA bootlicker mode.

Dave plays another clip of Sean Strickland, this time he's ranting about how "the LGBTQ+ agenda" is getting into schools. Again, that LGBTQ+ agenda line the right constantly tows is a complete load of horseshit. It's like saying that eating some lettuce instantly turns you into a vegetarian. Plus, it boxes cisgender relationships in as "normal" and LGBTQ+ ones as a sort of weird lifestyle choice.

I get the sense that Sean Strickland is just a reactionary asshole trying to get attention. That tirade, plus others he's gone on in the past, are clear grabs for attention and the griftosphere has delivered that in spades. Even if, by some miracle, the UFC gets rid of him he'll probably be guaranteed a spot at the two places where reactionary grifters go when their temporary fame has died out; The Blaze Network or Charlie Kirk's show. As a result, brace yourself for the next loud bigoted statement from Sean because these types don't ever stop trying to extend their fifteen minutes of fame.

16:57, Dave Rubin: "Yeah, that's all true. Like, that is all true. Almost everyone now, not everybody but most people, especially if you're of a certain age. Like, if you're under, say, 55 you basically--no one cares about anyones sexuality anymore."

Tell that to Ben Shapiro, who is a 40 year old man who was homophobic to you directly to your face while you just sat there and took it because he's important in the griftosphere.

In all seriousness, people absolutely are bigoted towards people for their sexuality. Good examples of this would be the two guys that Dave is going on sycophantic tangents defending for the reasons we already mentioned. Outside of Sean and Ron, LGBTQ+ hate crimes are on the rise according to the FBI.

17:24, Dave Rubin: "Then they decided to push all of this in the schools relentlessly. Tell you that if you didn't want your kid learning about sex when they were in fourth grade that you're a bigot, that you're a racist."

So I guess Dave is just generally opposed to sex-ed as a whole. Yeah that tracks.

Plus, teaching kids about sexuality isn't "teaching your kid about sex". Believe it or not, you can teach a kid about being gay or trans without even bringing sex into the conversation just like how you can display straight relationships without talking about sex.

Dave plays a clip of Dana White defending what Sean Strickland stated. Dana didn't address the spirit of what the reporter was saying and just split hairs about how the guy said "you obviously give your fighters a long leash". Dave's thoughts are equally uninteresting here.

19:44, Dave Rubin: "What's really amazing is that Strickland, he's going after Bud Light. Bud Light is now one of the biggest sponsors of UFC, they gave Dana White a ton of money and suddenly Dana White is now promoting Bud Light again. So nobody is perfect in all of this but I'll certainly give Dana White credit right there for being like 'Oh, one of my guys is going after my major sponsor and I'm gonna defend his right to do it.' Isn't that seriously something?"

There's an obvious reason for this that Dave is neglecting to mention, allowing Sean to go on his deranged tirades gets eyes on the UFC.

I had never heard of Sean in my life before Friday when all of a sudden every single person on the right started talking about him. While this certainly alienates me as an audience member, I can see this tirade attracting people on the political right who agree with what Sean is saying and that means more money for Dana.

Then Dave goes into an ad pivot.

21:45, Dave Rubin: "OK, so now I wanna connect this to more widely what's going on in the culture war and what is also happening political. Because, again, these things are deeply deeply connected and if you just ignore the culture part you are always going to be in slow-motion mode. What do I always say? Truth is a time release pill these days."

Ron DeSantis wrapped himself up in the "culture war" and look where that got him. Starting to uncritically pay attention to Dave's culture war nonsense is going to put you in even greater "slow motion mode" than when you weren't. All it is is a distraction from real genuine issues.

"Don't look at the gun violence epidemic and the fact that people are dying because they can't afford healthcare, look at this transwoman on a beer can."

22:11, Dave Rubin: "So, Tiffany Justice, she is the co-founder of Moms for Liberty. I know Tiffany, I've seen her at many events, I think I've done their podcast at least once or twice."

Lets talk about Moms for Liberty because this is another group full of anti-LGBTQ+ bigots that for some reason Dave has chosen to defend. Dave seems to love people that hate him.

Moms for Liberty is a far-right "activist" group that primarily advocates for the removal of school curriculum related to racial diversity and sexual orientation. To summarize their views on the youth, their Hamilton County chapter quoted Hitler in a newsletter. Even if by some miracle they didn't realize that this was a Hitler quote, the quote "He alone, who owns the youth, gains the Future" is a horrifying representation of the reason why they do what they do. Naturally, the Southern Poverty Law Centre has designated them as an extremist group.

Their main goals seem to revolve around book banning, all whilst hypocritically saying that they believe in the Constitution. Despite claiming that they are against books with "sexual material" in them, they are all big fans of the Bible which is filled to the brim with sexual material. In case you were wondering what kinds of books they are for banning, here's a complaint one of their chapters filed against a biography of MLK Jr for being "anti-white". Anne Frank's Diary was also banned as a result of the group. Between that and the Hitler quote, I'm beginning to see a pattern here. Solidifying that pattern I just mentioned is the fact that they also have connections to an alt-right terrorist group called The Proud Boys.

As for Tiffany Justice herself, she's a complete lunatic who seems to think that yelling loudly is a substitute for having actual good points. This was exemplified when she came out against social-emotional learning.

Social-emotional learning is an educational model that aims to teach children skills such as empathy and self-awareness. Tiffany, with absolutely zero evidence, decided that this was left-wing indoctrination. Quote;

“It’s meant to replace the child’s values and morals in the home with an idea of spirituality.” 

In short, teaching kids how to be a decent human being is up for debate with Moms for Liberty. This is a group full of really nasty people and if Dave had any self-respect he would be against them instead of defending them.

So, the reason that Dave is talking about this is because Tiffany recently did an interview with MSNBC's Joy Reid about book bans in schools. The resulting interview was a bizarre mess where Tiffany didn't really respond to any of Joy's points and instead screamed stupid talking points about "kids reading about anal rape". In the interview, Joy Reid came off as calm and reasonable while Tiffany came off as a dildo obsessed blithering idiot who can't argue in a way who isn't intellectually dishonest. Watch it here.

Joy also made an excellent point about how, even if certain parents are uncomfortable with sexually explicit content being taught to their children, they can opt in and opt out of their children reading it. During said moment, Joy brought up a book entitled All Boys Aren't Blue and asked Tiffany if it was her right to deny the book to children who might feel seen by the story. Since this story contained sexual assault of a minor, Tiffany distorted Joy's argument into it being her saying that children feel seen by depictions of child rape, ignoring that a lot of the book was about growing up black and queer in New Jersey and the entire book didn't revolve around the sexual abuse that the author suffered as a child. There were plenty of parts of that book that a child could relate to that don't involve the sexual assault but naturally guys like Dave Rubin and Matt Walsh don't know about that since they don't bother to look into what they are covering.

Even going off of Tiffany's insane bullshit argument, teaching kids that are the victims of sexual assault that what they went through is wrong and the tools to handle their trauma is objectively a good thing.

Anyway, sorry about the long tangent. Just had to lay out some background info. Back to Dingbat Dave.

24:24, Dave Rubin: "OK, Joy is just so absolutely unbearable that she tries to pin this down on 'you don't know the name of the main character'. She knows that it's George, she knows that it's biographical, et cetera, et cetera."

The point that Joy was making when she asked Tiffany what the main character of All Boys Aren't Blue's name was is that Tiffany and her group portray themselves as these experts on literature and why it's harmful towards minors and yet she doesn't even know the name of the person that wrote the book that she hates so much.

25:19, Dave Rubin: "Just think back to when you were in 3rd, 4th, grade, right? Think about your teacher, my third grade teacher Mrs Kachin, absolutely loved her, she read us the Secret Garden and she did all the voices, I just absolutely adored this woman--Imagine if instead of reading The Secret Garden to us, if she was reading this book about anal rape and dildos and incest and everything else."

That would be a relevant argument to make if the reason that Moms For Liberty is campaigning about this book is because it was being taught to third and fourth graders and all they wanted to do was remove it from the curriculum but that isn't what this about.

We are talking about removing this book from libraries all together. In making up this completely irrelevant example, Dave has distorted the entire story into "they were reading this story about anal rape to kids and then Moms For Liberty swooped in and saved the day" and that's simply not what happened.

All Boys Aren't Blue has been taught (and subsequently banned) in high schools and that is significantly different than grade 3 or 4. I can't find a record of this book being taught to third graders.

Dave plays another clip from the interview. Dave then reads a tweet from a guy named James Lindsay who I will probably go more in depth about if he's mentioned again more prominently in another episode. The tweet reads as follows;

"Anyone who will lie to you the way Joy Reid lies to Tiffany Justice here will kill you the second they have the clearance and need to do so."

While this may sound ridiculous to anyone in the reality-based community, Dave agrees with this.

29:34, Dave Rubin: "What do Marxist movements do? How many people have died in the name of Communism, right?"

This is ridiculous. So the left is a bunch of communists because Joy Reid pushed back on one of the leaders of a known extremist group.

Another clip from MSNBC, more stupidity from Dave.

31:19, Dave Rubin: "It's not your right to tell anyone when their children should learn about sex."

That's why schools allow parents to opt their child out of sexual education.

Ad pivot. Dave rambles about how everyone is so oppressed by the left and that's why Trump is gaining all this support. He plays a clip of the CEO of JP Morgan talking about how Democrats don't respect people who vote for Trump.

36:40, Dave Rubin: "Yeah, that's just right, that's just right. Because what's Jamie Diamond doing there? He's defending just the average American, just a mom who wants to know what her kid is learning, right? Just a person who works at a company and doesn't want to be discriminated against because they happen to be straight and white."

We already talked about how Tiffany is clearly not just some "average mom who is just concerned about her children learning about sex" so lets look at that second statement, people are being discriminated against because they are straight and white.

Well, would it surprise you to know that the data does not back that claim up? Did you know that white people make up 77% of the labor force?

Dave plays a clip of Camile Paglia being interviewed by Charlie Rose. I'm noticing something about Dave (and a lot of these grifters but Dave is particular egregious) and that is that he is basically a reactionary reaction channel. Dave doesn't really argue his points, he just plays decades old clips from the Charlie Rose Show and lets them make his argument for him.

39:19, Dave Rubin: "All she's saying in essence is the thing that, again, we all knew which is the reverse of what the woke want which is get politics, get your social agenda out of school."

It's a sad state of affairs when teaching children about sexualities outside of being straight is politicized.

39:29, Dave Rubin: "When I was growing up and I went to all public schools, and I also went to a public college, but when I went to school you learned math, you learned science, you didn't learnt that boys were girls and the rest of the nonsense."

A): Absolutely moronic characterization of transgender people.

B): Does Dave think that they've phased math and science out completely in favor of curriculum revolving around sexuality?

40:31, Dave Rubin: "You know what's not working right now? It's our border, our borders not working."

Still ranting about the border, huh? I thought it would be old by now but I'll bite.

The Biden Administration has constantly tried to compromise with the GOP on the border and yet the GOP keeps stonewalling them at every turn, this is because their goals are to limit migration entirely and restart the construction of the border wall. Also, according to data found by the Cato Institute, the situation would be exactly the same under Trump. Biden has also tried to ask for funding for the border, the right has refused to give it to him.

Dave plays a video clip from "NJEG Media" (already a huge red flag) that claims to show "African migrants" in a New York City Park. Here's what probably actually happened; some right-wing influencer who wanted attention on the griftosphere went to a park and started filming African-American homeless people. Where's the proof these people even are migrants? Odds are that they were just homeless people.

42:23, Dave Rubin: "It doesn't make you a racist to wonder why all these people are wandering through New York City to wonder 'why are all these people wandering through New York City? And what do they think? And what are their intentions? And why are they here?'"

Lets say that these migrants were white, would you be wondering the same thing? If the answer is no, yeah it's racist.

Dave plays a clip of New York City in 1945 and this is so profoundly stupid. There are so many so many systemic factors beyond "Oh, migrants are wrecking NYC" for why homelessness has spiked. For one, the cost of living is significantly higher than it was in 1945. In terms of immigration, it's harder to become a citizen of the United States than it was in 1945, thanks to the right might I add, which leads to people seeking illegal means to enter.

44:15, Dave Rubin: "That doesn't mean there aren't activist lunatics on the right but that is not the major problem at the moment."

"I should know, I've spent the entire episode defending them."

Anyway, that's enough Dave Rubin for today. The rest of the episode is just more of him reacting to clips and I'm tired of it.

Conclusion:

Outside of the Ronnie D stuff, Dave didn't cover a single important news story the entire episode. It was just him defending bigoted reactionaries and reacting to clips he found on Twitter. I forgot how Dave Rubin is basically just a reaction channel. I guess he figured out that when he talks for long periods of time without playing a clip he inevitably ends up sounding like a complete moron.

Cheers and I'll see you in the next one.

#right wing bullshit #journalism #conservative bullshit #fact checking #bad takes #conservatives #disinformation #debunking #politics #dave rubin #fuck maga #fuck the gop

[xxxjarchiexxx]

i get mad seeing people talk about trumps antiimmigration reelection campaign as though he is proposing a brand new genocide and thus we are choosing between one genocide or two-- aside from the fact that the us is aiding ethnic cleansing in congo and sudan and those are both also arguably genocidal, so the numbers would be more like three or four. mainly because, his immigration policy is almost the exact same as bidens, mainly focused on the wall (which biden has been building and has built more of than trump did) and on deportation border camps (which came into existence under the obama administration and biden has kept open).

the main policy difference in what trump is promising is increased funding for ICE and increased deportations and raids. this is a REAL CHANGE THAT WILL HAPPEN IF TRUMP WINS for sure, when i was researching the tangible changes both good and bad in the biden administration, one of the only wins was the massive decrease in funding for ICE and massive cut down on deportations and raids. the camps still existed and the border wall was expanded, though.

we're being asked to vote for four genocides or four genocides, but in one set of those two of them they will be marginally nicer to one of the genocided groups and to the immigrants from another genocided group. that is how intangible and small the changes are.

i do truly understand this being enough for him to win the vote for some people, but a vote isnt just saying "please dont increase funding to ICE and deport all palestinian-americans", it is also and more loudly saying "the general policies under your administration and the genocides you are promoting are acceptable to your constituents, you can ignore our phone calls".

its up to you if you're willing to implicitly say that and continue to push the democratic party further and further right for the sake of not funding ICE as much temporarily and for the sake of probably not mass deporting palestinian-americans (though that bill is dead in the water and is probably not happening under anyone), but you also have to understand that choice WILL upset a lot of people. a massive loss in votes and material support is the only language electoral politics understand, so for as long as you find it politically salient to engage in electoral politics, you have to be willing to think strategically about the goals you have and the consequences of acheiving them with the very limited power you have in the electoral sphere.

regardless, join some mutual fund organizations, local left organizations, and try to unionize. that will do so much more for the people in your area materially than anything else, and will make you feel so much better than putting your hope in a genocidal nationstate

[mariacallous]

Pulling into a service station to listen to Nicola Sturgeon’s resignation speech on Wednesday morning, I was hit by a wave of sadness. It wasn’t that the first minister’s departure was unexpected. Though the precise timing was a shock, she has been visibly flagging for months, and her popularity has been waning even among SNP diehards. “She’s lost the room,” one loyalist told me recently. When Jacinda Ardern – a politician Sturgeon greatly admires – stepped down as the prime minister of New Zealand with the words: “We give all that we can for as long as we can. And then it’s time,” I imagined Sturgeon thinking: “That’s the way to do it.”

Nor am I blind to the chequered nature of the first minister’s legacy. It has been disappointing to watch a woman who came to power with such noble aspirations fail to deliver on a succession of pledges, such as closing the educational attainment gap, and become mired in a succession of controversies, such as the ferry fiasco and the “missing” £600,000 of SNP funds.

Yet her speech – and the poise with which she delivered it – brought back all that was good about her leadership: the almost Calvinist sense of duty, the relatability, the humility. These are qualities absent in the five UK prime ministers who have been in office as she attempted to steer her ship through the choppy waters that their greed and populism created.

Sturgeon has her own character flaws. Her cautious nature has had a dampening effect on her radicalism, and her reluctance to listen to anyone outside her inner circle led to errors of judgment on the “named person” legislation, which was later found to breach children’s right to privacy, and on the gender recognition reform bill, which Rishi Sunak blocked in a historic challenge to Scottish devolution.

Still, if Boris Johnson, Liz Truss or Sunak had possessed a fraction of Sturgeon’s integrity, there would have been no Brexit, no support for bankers’ bonuses and no hint of tax avoidance. And if they had acknowledged the SNP’s overwhelming mandate for a second independence referendum, she would not now be facing criticism for failing to secure one.

Furthermore, while Sturgeon’s policies may not have been ambitious enough for those on the left of the SNP, Scotland’s tax system is the most progressive in the UK, and the Conservatives’ welfare reforms are being mitigated by the child payment – £25 per child per week for low-income families.

Sturgeon made enemies on both sides of the constitutional divide. Sometimes it felt like she couldn’t win.

But the sight of her, eloquent and self-reflective at the podium brought back her finest hour: guiding Scotland through the pandemic. There were mistakes there, too, of course, most notably the release of untested hospital patients into care homes. But her messaging was always clear and direct, and you never doubted she cared or that she was giving her all.

You could no more imagine Sturgeon socialising while other people mourned alone than you could imagine Johnson stacking chairs at the end of a political meeting (something Sturgeon was wont to do even as first minister). Or resigning gracefully in the interests of his party and his country.

Her speech was also a reminder of how she transformed the landscape. When I returned to Scotland from England in 1996, politics and journalism was male-dominated, with female voices pushed to the margins. Sturgeon changed all that, not merely by being a woman at the helm (after all, there have been two female prime ministers during her time in power), but by actively promoting gender equality.

Her government’s handling of the initial allegations against Alex Salmond, and the inquiry that followed, almost proved her undoing. But the impulse to change the sexual harassment complaints process came from a place of principle; and she stuck to those principles despite the outpouring of vitriol and misogyny they unleashed. Though Sturgeon insists the fallout from the GRR bill was not the catalyst for her departure, the accusation that she has squandered her right to be considered a feminist must be painful.

The timing of her resignation appears to have more to do with the forthcoming conference on “election-based options” designed to force the UK government into negotiations on independence. Sturgeon knows her preferred option – turning the general election into a de facto referendum – is divisive. “And I cannot in good conscience ask the party to choose an option based on my judgment, whilst not being convinced that I would be there as leader to see it through,” she explained. “Conscience”: there’s a concept that’s been in short supply these last 10 years.

I admire Sturgeon for not clinging too desperately to her dream of personally delivering independence. It must be tough to give up something that has consumed so much of your life – although it may be easier to cede power if you have not desired it for its own sake, but as a means of securing an ideal that transcends your own ego.

I admire her, too, for not believing she is indispensable; for having faith in the next generation of SNP politicians. My service station sadness was part ruefulness for what might have been, part fear there was no one else capable of filling her shoes. It’s impossible to conceive of any of the touted contenders – Kate Forbes, Keith Brown, Neil Gray – filling stadiums full of selfie-seeking fans. But while Sturgeon’s competence was established before she became first minister, her popularity was a product of timing; she rode into town on a post-referendum high. Whoever succeeds her will have to make their own luck, to rethink the party’s entire strategy and approach. That may be no bad thing.

[superborb]

Media diet, end of June

Under the cut: The Book of Form and Emptiness, Things We Lost in the Fire, Strange Beasts of China, Elatsoe, Ted Lasso S2, Go Ahead (以家人之名) (DNF), Bad Buddy (DNF), The Male Fairy Fox Of Liao Zhai 3 (男狐聊斋3), CODA (2021)

A little early because I'll be traveling without my computer... (I'll check DW when I get back, since I haven't quite gotten the hang of mobile DW yet either...)

The Book of Form and Emptiness, by Ruth Ozeki: The story of Benny Oh, as told partially by his book, partially by himself, primarily after the death of his father, when his mother starts hoarding things and he begins to hear objects. Although the somewhat chaotic and elaborate descriptions would seem to be not to my taste, the prose actually worked really smoothly and well for me? I think the internal structure and careful attention to rhythm pulled it off. I found the descriptions of his mother's hoarding extremely unsettling, which I don't think has happened to me before. It was very unmoored in time/location and none of the characters were that compelling to me, so although it was an engaging read, I found it somewhat unmemorable by being so incohesive. (PS: Disneyland is not in Florida.) Things We Lost in the Fire, by Mariana Enriquez, translated by Megan McDowell: A collection of short stories set in Argentina, primarily along the lines of magical realism / social commentary. From meitachi's rec. The book seems billed as macabre and dark, so I expected more unsettling feelings from this collection, but I think it fit more as 'ghost story' than 'horror' levels of dark. While the stories were interesting social commentary (mostly on gender and poverty, always with the undercurrent of the desaparecidos) and I read them like potato chips, I think they're a little bit unmemorable for me? A common problem with short stories I guess. Strange Beasts of China, by Yan Ge, translated by Jeremy Tiang: A novelist who once studied cryptozoology learns about and tells the stories of a series of beasts, slowly coming to understand her own story in the process. Recced by excaliburedpan! The beasts are a rather straightforward metaphor for marginalized groups (as the author herself says); although I don't usually check goodreads, I was startled at the number of reviews that seemed to miss the point, is that normal? I enjoyed the imaginative beasts and their stories, the snarky relationship between the main character and her underclassman, and the slow reveal of the main character's backstory. I was not super impressed with the translation, which came across monotone, and I thought the social criticism was very unsubtle (though I guess maybe not, given the goodreads reviews...). Overall, I liked it a lot, as a book that tried to tell a complicated story about humans and beasts interacting and mixing. Elatsoe, by Darcie Little Badger: In a world very similar to ours, but where some myths / magic are real, our protag has a family secret that allows her to raise dead animals; her cousin dies and comes to her in a dream to tell her he's been murdered. From sophia_sol's rec! It read more MG than YA to me, and in that light, it was perfectly cromulent. I enjoyed the characters and their interactions. However, it always felt weird that the world and its history were so similar to ours yet had these magics that should surely have affected things. If you're in the mood for MG, this would suit. Ted Lasso S2: In season two, the show gets a chance to add more complex characterization and relationships, as the team tries to win their way back into the top level of English soccer, the Premier League. It remains mostly unstressful, except I kept getting VERY NERVOUS in all the Nate scenes because he was becoming more and more of an asshole. Two points annoyed me: the improper spotting and joking about someone having their neck crushed by weights is not actually funny??? And the TV psychology privacy practice of Sharon, the new team psychologist, discussing specific patients with her psychologist without anonymizing it. I remain very into the Ted/Trent dynamic, even if on screen interactions were sadly scarce. Overall, remains an entertaining and mostly light series, with enough humor to act as a hook, but not too much second hand embarrassment. Go Ahead (以家人之名) (DNF): Three unrelated kids grow up together as family and support each other through family troubles. Given the presence of ZXC, this must have been a halfcactus rec, lol. They were very cute as children, and I really did love the two dads trying to parent them together! It was just a little overacted / contrived and I can't build up the motivation to keep going... I think those who like modern family centric dramas would like it (based on the episodes I've seen!), it's just ultimately not my favorite genre, you know? Bad Buddy (DNF): Two boys from neighboring rival families have competed since they were young; when they became close at the end of secondary school, one is sent away. Now, they've both entered university in rival faculties. Livetweeted here! Everyone loved this so much, and indeed, the fast pace and tightly focused scenes were great! I just... find the friends hating each other thing very stressful and all the really cheesy romance scenes Too Much q_q. Not for me, but definitely if you like tropey BL, I'd recommend. The Male Fairy Fox Of Liao Zhai 3 (男狐聊斋3): A fox demon (fairy?) can't ascend until he repays the life debt from being rescued by a human a thousand years ago. Recced by douqi! Livetweeted here. The plot and characters are pretty much standard, but it is quite overtly gay and the fighting is very swoopy, so it's a satisfying 1.5 h movie. (No Eng subs yet.) CODA (2021): The only hearing child in a Deaf family needs to decide between staying to help her family fishing business or leaving for music college. Choosing singing as the plot device is rather loaded, and unsurprisingly led to some criticism of the movie. Overall though, it was pretty formulaic in plot, with enough well executed scenes and acting to make it worth watching if it's a genre you like.

[piraticalarchive]

listen. I’m doing a write up for all of these guys because I’ve since lost the old ones I did but I’m done drowning the dash in headcanons and its gonna take a bit, so for now have this really simplistic list of Hook’s crew. (* this is taken straight from the wiki and in my write ups certain nicknames will be changed due to circumstances)

Mr. Smee: the Irish bo'sun, the only non-conformist in Hook's crew. One of two pirates to survive the final battle, and "henceforth wandered around the world in his spectacles, making a precarious living by saying he was the only man that Jas. Hook had feared." Gentleman Starkey: once an usher in a public school "and still dainty in his ways of killing". He and Smee are the sole survivors of the final battle, although he got captured by the Piccaninnies, "who made him nurse for all their papooses". Bill Jukes: used to be on the Walrus under Captain Flint, and is heavily tattooed. Cecco: a very handsome Italian fellow who was said to have his name in letters of blood on the back of the governor of the prison at Gao". Cookson: he is said to be the brother of real-life pirate Black Murphy this was never proved"). Noodler: not much is known about him, except for the fact that his hands are fixed on backwards, and he is superstitious, like all sailors. Skylights (Morgan's Skylights): he is killed off early on the novel "to show Hook's method". Black Pirate: it is only stated that he is gigantic and has had many names that still terrify children on the banks of the Guadjo-mo. Alf Mason: one of the pirates killed in mortal combat with Lean Wolf early on in the battle between the pirates and Tiger Lily's braves. Robert Mullins: he is killed by Peter in the final battle with the pirates. George Scourie: another casualty in the battle. Chas. Turley ("Chay Turley" in the play): he is said "to laugh with the wrong side of his mouth (having no other)"; another casualty in battle by the Piccaninnies. Foggerty: an Alsatian who also died in the above battle. Whibbles: he wears an eye patch and is the first casualty in the final battle. Ed Teynte: the quartermaster in the novel (but not mentioned in the play), was the first killed in the last battle (instead of Whibbles). Black Gilmour (only in play): killed in battle by the Piccaninnies. Alan Herb (only in play): "still remembered at Manaos for playing skittles with the mate of Switch for each other's heads"; killed in battle by the Piccaninnies. Canary Robb (only in play): killed in the above battle.

#headcanon ; #headcanon tag ; #alan herb. ed teynte. starkey. smee. alf mason. cecco. chas turley. and bill jukes #are the one i use in threads more often #so my headcanons will focus on those first #in my mind - the four main ones are starkey first and foremost. smee. cecco and then bill jukes #HOW BADASS IS CECCO THOUGH GOD I LOVE CECCO #i guess in my mind ed teynte and bill jukes are kind of interchangeable in who i use more often #though i think bill marginally wins

[adiarosefandoms]

Romione Wedding

I propose that the Romione wedding happened sometime late September because they met September 1st on the train to Hogwarts. Not in the teens or twentieths though because Hermione’s birthday is the 19th. And not on the first itself because then none of the teachers could come (and there is no doubt in my mind that McGonagall was at that wedding.) So maybe like the 29th or 30th.

They’d get married somewhere green. Maybe near some clearing or the outskirts of the Forest of Dean because that’s where Ron returned to the group after the Locket manipulated him into leaving in the seventh book. They returned to one another because the deluminator led him back to his heart. And near the tops of the trees would be floating candles similar to the ones that decorate the great hall at night.

Hermione would think of putting her hair up like she did for the Yule ball because she equated it to elegance. But Ron is so fond of her frizzy hair down that she ends up doing a half up half down or just leaving it down. Ron’s robes don’t even marginally resemble the robes he wore to the Yule ball.

Harry is the best man of course while simultaneously being the maid of honor (don’t question it or them.) Ginny, Fleur and Luna are bridesmaids while George, Fred (yes we are still ignoring his death), and Neville are groomsmen.

Molly and Arthur sit excitedly along the right side of the aisle with Bill, Charlie, and Percy. Hagrid is in the second row with a chair far out so he’s near the front while still not blocking others’ views, McGonagall is in the front row on Hermione’s side of the aisle. (Ron later dances with her as he did in The Goblet of Fire. Though he initiates it this time and smiles all the while.)

Harry gives Ron the big brother talk in a way. “I love you mate. And I know you will do right by her. But it only seems fair to warn you. If you ever, ever, hurt Hermione, she will kill you. But I promise to be at your funeral.” He then gives Hermione the brother to bride talk. “I love you Hermione. And I know you’ll do right by him. But if you ever, ever, hurt Ron, I will try and fail to kill you. I won’t win, but I’ll have to try.” The dual role required both conversations to be made as Hermione is his sister, and Ron is his brother.

Also among the attendees are Seamus, Dean, Kingsley Shacklebolt, Pomona Sprout, Flitwick, Nearly Headless Nick, Xenophilius Lovegood, Miss Pomfrey, Kreacher, and believe it or not, Trelawny. Not to mention a couple dozen red heads. But that’s all. Not like Bill and Fleur’s wedding that included every British citizen with ginger hair and women with a smidge of Veela in her blood. It was pretty, but not excessive. They had everyone and everything they needed on that faithful day in September when Ron Weasley and Hermione Granger were married.

#Romione #Romione wedding #Harry potter headcanon #Hermione granger #ron weasly #ship #Harry potter #wizarding world #minerva mcgonagall

[breezeinmonochromenight]

Did the Ultimania confirm that Sephiroth is more powerful than Angeal and Genesis?

The last time I check they say the 1st trio are of the same level of power though.

It doesn’t need to. The story itself tells you this with the S and G projects. They’re absolutely not equals. He’s literally billed as a (if not the) prototype SOLDIER and the strongest one ShinRa ever produced.

Chunks of the narrative also make no fucking sense whatsoever if there’s just... three Sephiroths running around lmao. Seph’s existence is considered an anomaly for a reason. Hell, that whole subplot of Genesis being envious of Sephiroth but not seeing that it isn’t something Sephiroth chose or necessarily would ever choose for himself is pointless if they’re just... ultimately the same anyway.

This isn’t me saying he couldn’t ever lose to one or both of them under the right conditions — Cloud Strife is all the proof you need that that’s definitely possible. But in regular conditions? It’s just unlikely. Why do you think Genesis is getting Actually Mad™ in that infamous sparring scene between him and Angeal and Sephiroth? Because he’s trying his damndest to win and Sephiroth is out there fucking one-handing a two-handed blade and fending off both him and Angeal with minimal effort.

In short: Do I think Sephiroth is an infallible god? No. Do I think he’s the strongest SOLDIER/arguably the strongest character in that universe by a significant margin? Absolutely.

#like I love A&G to bits but there’s no comparison there lol #anonymous #if that even is your real name #misc. #ff7 meta #ffvii #ff7 #angeal hewley #genesis rhapsodos #sephiroth

[mostlymovieswithmax]

Movies I watched in June

Now I think I’m comfortably in a rhythm to get these posts out. For one, I’m writing up short reviews either straight after watching a movie or sometimes it might take a few days. But June was a fairly good month in terms of the amount of films I watched. I got to go to the cinema quite a bit which is always fun. Anyway, let’s get on with it! If you’re looking for something good to watch (or maybe even something bad), I hope this list can help in some way to introduce you to new and different movies that maybe you’ve never heard of, or were thinking of checking out. Here is every film I watched from the 1st to the 30th of June 2021.

Bo Burnham: Inside (2021) - 10/10 Everyone was going off about how great this film is. An hour and a half of Bo Burnham in lockdown, singing songs and being upset is definitely a powerful hook and I have to agree with the general consensus because Inside blew me away. More thoughts on this in my podcast: The Sunday Movie Marathon episode 34.

Bo Burnham: Make Happy (2016) - 7/10 After watching Inside, I figured I’d rewatch some of Burnham’s older stand-up shows on Netflix. Make Happy is a lot of fun, injected with a lot of introspection from Burnham that really makes the special stand out, despite a lot of gags that just didn’t land for me.

Bo Burnham: What. (2013) - 6/10 It’s plain to see just how much Bo Burnham has grown over the years and how he has honed his comedy and music. ‘What.’ is a good stepping stone in the comedian’s career, showcasing loads of promise in him from a young age. There are some jokes that haven’t aged as well and some that straight up dragged, but overall the show is still enjoyable.

The Conjuring: The Devil Made Me Do It (2021) - 3/10 Packed theatre for this one, obviously. People love a Conjuring movie, and I’d also say people love a good scare… but this movie isn’t scary, or good for that matter. More thoughts on episode 35 of the podcast.

The Conjuring (2013) - 6/10 After the horrendously disappointing debacle that was the third Conjuring movie, I decided to watch James Wan’s original movie and man, if this wasn’t better in literally every way. I don’t tend to love James Wan movies but I can’t deny he’s got so much talent in how he makes movies and it makes The Conjuring a lot more fun to see competent filmmaking in the horror genre in a way that actually creates an eerie atmosphere with creative uses of camera-work and editing.

A Nightmare on Elm Street (1984) - 8/10 Normally I’m not big into the old slasher movies. I appreciate that for the time, perhaps they hit differently, but now I just don’t tend to connect with them. Wes Craven’s ‘A Nightmare on Elm Street’ is a bit of an exception. Don’t get me wrong, it’s not particularly scary, though it does employ a lot of interesting techniques and designs. Undeniably, the design for Fred Krueger is a staple in cinema, with the striped jumper, hat, scarred face and knives for fingers not leaving the mind of the general public any time soon. Elm Street doesn’t have too many kills but when it does, it is so effective and fun to watch. Craven was one of the greats, truly.

One Cut of the Dead (2017) - 8/10 This has to be one of the most engaging zombie movies I’ve seen in a long time. There’s a lot to spoil with One Cut of The Dead but I won’t go into that here. It is clever and funny, subverting expectations in ways I really didn’t expect. I really cannot recommend it enough.

Dave Chappelle: Sticks & Stones (2019) - 8/10 Since we’re watching Chappelle's Show for episode 45 of the podcast, I wanted to get an idea for what I was in for, so I watched Dave Chappelle’s stand-up show from a couple of years ago. Yeah, really funny, which I suppose is what you want from a stand-up special, but what makes it better is Chappelle’s commentary on the world at large and how he’s able to combine humour with intelligent criticism.

Fear(s) of the Dark (2008) - 4/10 A few years ago I think I watched this animated black and white anthology film on a New Year's Day when I had foolishly decided to pull an all-nighter and then go out with mates for ice cream. Never again. But I’d forgotten what I thought of this movie and decided to get the DVD for cheap on eBay. Perhaps I am doomed to watch Fear(s) of the Dark only when I am tired because I popped this on when it was nearing midnight. I was lucid enough to understand what I was watching though… and it was quite boring. These short films emulate the filmmakers’ nightmares - an interesting premise in theory, but pretty weak on execution.

The Bourne Identity (2002) - 3/10 We marathoned the first three Bourne movies for The Sunday Movie Marathon podcast, episode 36 so check that out for my expanded thoughts on this, the best Bourne of the three.

The Bourne Supremacy (2004) - 2/10 Immediately after, we did the deep dive into Supremacy, the second Bourne and the worst of the three (albeit by a very slim margin). Check out episode 36 for more.

The Bourne Ultimatum (2007) - 2/10 I really couldn’t care less about these terrible movies. It was a horrible chore to sit through them. Ultimatum was also rubbish. More gripes and discussion in episode 36 of the podcast.

The Father (2021) - 10/10 Another trip to the cinema for this masterpiece. I tried very hard not to sob loudly in the theatre where aside from myself, the audience totalled three people. More discussion of The Father in episode 36 the podcast.

Drag Me To Hell (2009) - 2/10 I’m pretty shocked that Sam Raimi directed this. Usually when I watch one of his films, I can see his staple of fun gore, practical effects, crazy camera movements… but there was none of that here. It just felt like a really bad horror, indistinguishable from the regular affair, with no personality or passion. Drag Me To Hell might even have been one of those movies I’d avoided in the past when I was younger because it seemed too scary but no, it was just boring and bad and I feel like there’s something I’m not getting out of this that other people seem to be.

Moonrise Kingdom (2012) - 8/10 At this point, I feel I have to admit Wes Anderson as perhaps my second favourite director. His movies are just so nice and beautiful to watch. Moonrise Kingdom is a quirky love story between two kids and honestly, with any other director, could have been handled poorly because the story is quite simple. But Anderson injects so much of his signature style and personality into the film. A powerhouse of actors with the likes of Frances McDormand, Bill Murray, Bruce Willis and Tilda Swinton, among a few of Anderson’s regulars, make Moonrise Kingdom a breeze. Good for a dark day to lift the spirits.

Nobody (2021) - 8/10 I needed something to fill an otherwise uneventful day, so I hopped on a bus and booked a ticket for Ilya Naishuller’s new action movie, Nobody. The film started and to my annoyance, the lights in the theatre were still on. When I go to the cinema I don’t really want to see the other people sitting around me, so I got up from my seat, abandoning the first two minutes of the film to find a member of staff to turn the lights off. After showing them that the lights were in fact still on, I took to my seat and watched the movie for what felt like a little while before the lights went off. Nobody is a really fun action movie. Perhaps similar in a lot of ways to John Wick, but with more personality to the main character. More thoughts on episode 37 of The Sunday Movie Marathon podcast.

The Darjeeling Limited (2007) - 8/10 After procuring the Criterion blu-ray from my local hmv, I delved into all the supplements it had to offer, including a making-of documentary, chats with the director, and a gallery of polaroid pictures from when they were shooting the film in India. The Darjeeling Limited is perhaps not peak Wes Anderson, but I do kind of love it. It makes me want to go on a journey to another country with my brother and sister, perhaps in ten to fifteen years. Here, the main characters are three brothers who travel to India seeking some kind of spiritual experience. Things don’t seem to work out that way, however, because I’m not sure how spiritual an experience you can have when you plan out an itinerary to schedule it. Fantastic performances all round and of course, beautiful direction and cinematography.

Face/Off (1997) - 3/10 Was I supposed to laugh? Maybe I was just too tired but I really couldn’t stand Face/Off. It didn’t feel particularly special and despite a couple of fun ideas, it was mostly quite boring.

Luca (2021) - 5/10 The new Pixar movie leaves a lot to be desired. The animation is really second to none and I can’t fault how beautiful the movie looks, more so when it’s set in this little Italian town than under the sea. The story is so uninspired though, with the basic premise being that the protagonists want a Vespa so they enter a competition to win the money to buy one. Also they’re fish that turn into people on dry land. Maybe that’s enough for some people, but I couldn’t shake the familiarity of Luca. It never went in any interesting directions and basically did exactly what I figured it would do. I don’t believe it’s out here to subvert expectations but I would like some creativity when it comes to the writing. Perhaps if I watched it again, I might like it less. It was pretty dull.

Punch-Drunk Love (2002) - 10/10 I’m a little disappointed with the Criterion blu-ray for Punch-Drunk love. It’s supplements host a couple of low-quality deleted scenes that were clearly deleted for a reason, and some weird artsy music videos that incorporated footage from the movie. I was quite shocked at how low-effort it all seemed. The movie itself is fantastic though and I do believe it to be Adam Sandler’s best performance (and I really liked Uncut Gems). He portrays a man who is constantly put down by his family, clearly has some kind of social disability, and on top of it all he’s getting scammed by a sex line. Amongst all this, he’s trying to navigate a new relationship and it’s so sweet to watch all the interactions between Sandler and Emily Watson. It’s a perfect melding of romance, comedy and anxiety, beautifully directed by Paul Thomas Anderson.

Fargo (1996) - 9/10 Another movie you wouldn’t expect to be so funny, especially since it’s based on this horrific true story about murder, deceit and money. But the Coen brothers know how to handle it. Excellent performances, beautiful colour palette, and a story that just gets more and more insane as it goes.

House (1977) - 7/10 House (or, Hausu) was a recommendation for episode 37 of The Sunday Movie Marathon podcast so check that out for more discussion. Generally speaking, this Japanese horror/comedy was bonkers. Insanely creative and abstract (which at points can detriment the film) with an almost Balamory-esque presentation. I was happy to find that the comedy was not lost on me at all; this is a hilarious film, albeit maybe not all the time.

The Princess Bride (1987) - 10/10 I reviewed this in my May wrap-up but this time around, I had recommended The Princess Bride for the podcast, the discussion for which you can listen to in episode 37. It all clicked this time around. It is such a fun, warm movie with a lot of laughs and superb production.

This Is Spinal Tap (1984) - 8/10 Another Rob Reiner joint, a few years before The Princess Bride. This Is Spinal Tap is lauded as a masterpiece in comedic cinema and I might agree; this movie is hilarious. Shot in mockumentary fashion, it follows a band playing shows and trying to get gigs, coupled with the inevitable screw-ups of live performance and creative disagreements. It lost me every now and again but it’s still a must-watch.

The Hunchback of Notre Dame (1996) - 6/10 A decent Disney flick but certainly not their best. One highlight includes the villain singing a lament about wanting to have sex with Esmerelda and calling her a witch for giving him a boner.

Ponyo (2008) - 4/10 Not sure if I’ve ever disliked a Miyazaki movie before but I did not vibe with Ponyo. It came across as very baby and as such, there really wasn’t much to read into. The animation is fantastic as always but so much of it felt specifically tailored to a younger crowd.

Roman Holiday (1953) - 9/10 Classic romance at its best. I had heard on a podcast that this was the sexiest movie the guest had ever seen and while maybe not in the traditional sense of the word, I do get where they’re coming from. I was tearing up with just how lovely it all was, following a princess who runs away and spends the day with a man she meets in Rome (where it was shot on location), doing all the things she’s wanted to do but never could because of royal responsibilities. Fantastic performances from Audrey Hepburn and Gregory Peck who sell the chemistry of the characters so well.

F9 (2021) - 2/10 I’ve never seen any of the Fast & Furious movies and after watching the ninth in the series, I don’t want to. This is basically the Vin Diesel show; we watch him drive cars fast and punch people a lot. Wow! I don’t really understand what it (and forgive the pun) driving people to see these movies if they’re all in this same vein. As far as I can tell, F9 is the goofiest of the series so far and I’ll admit I had a chuckle or two at some of the truly implausible moments, such as a part where one of the team gets shot by about ten men with machine guns, yet manages to kill them all without being affected by the bullets… but overall, in this two-and-a-half-hour experience, I was largely bored.

Shaolin Soccer (2001) - 7/10 I love this movie! Shaolin Soccer is so much fun; it is goofy and out there and completely crazy, all by design. Steven Chow knew what he was making when he set out to craft this insane story of a group of guys using Kung-Fu to play football. The basic story itself is nothing new but it’s elevated by the infectious comedy and implausibility of what’s happening. Balls are kicked into space and across fields so fast the very ground is torn asunder. A man eats an egg off a dirty shoe. This is cinema.

Casino Royale (2006) - 7/10 I had seen a trailer at the cinema for the new Bond movie and I have to say, I’ve never really given 007 the time of day, aside from a few of the very first movies I’d tried watching a while ago. But the new trailer kind of got me hyped, so I wanted to watch all of the Craig era Bond movies, starting with Casino Royale. I had a great time! Even though there’s not loads of fighting or weapons or fast cars, the meat of the movie actually comes from this poker game Bond is playing against the villain, played brilliantly by Mads Mikkelsen. I was surprised to witness a bit of cock-and-ball torture in this 12-rated movie but I would be lying if I said it didn’t stick with me.

Quantum of Solace (2008) - 5/10 Immediately after Casino Royale, I jumped into the second of Daniel Craig’s Bond movies, Quantum of Solace. Sadly it’s quite weak, with not much going on aside from the general Bond fare. Mathieu Amalric’s villain lacked a lot of menace or motivation and generally, I’m not super worried about a brilliant story in a Bond movie, but even the action felt weak in this. Quantum of Solace didn’t exactly upset me but it failed to wow me in any way either. The saving grace of the movie is certainly Daniel Craig as the hero, capturing Bond and what he’s supposed to be.

Skyfall (2012) - 6/10 A marked improvement from its predecessor, Sam Mendes helms Skyfall, Craig’s third outing as Bond. Skyfall delves into Bond’s past as he seems to be slipping a bit, not as much the expert operative he once was. It would have been nice to see more of his fall from grace, as they don’t really show us how he’s become less efficient as much as they give other characters expository dialogue telling us how he drinks and does drugs and is haunted by childhood trauma. For me, that’s where the meat of the story lies and I would have preferred more of a character piece if indeed they were delving into that side of the character anyway. That being said, the fights are still better choreographed than the last instalment and the colour grading and scenery is often very visually interesting. Everything in Skyfall is better than its predecessor and it’s surely thanks to Sam Mendes who does a great job at directing.

Howl's Moving Castle (2004) - 8/10 Another go round for Howl's Moving Castle, as this was a recommendation for my podcast, The Sunday Movie Marathon. My opinion, I feel, is unchanged. It's a fantastic film, and you can listen to more of what I have to say in episode 37. The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn - Part 2 - 3/10 A pretty poor end to a poor series of movies. I'm surprised I've watched the Twilight movies as many times as I have but I also know I'll watch them again. Part 2 I watched with the YMS commentary track on YouTube which, again made the experience a lot better. But otherwise the series seemed to get better as it went along… until the last movie. Ultimately my biggest problem with it is that nothing actually happens and the plot feels like a late addition rather than a natural progression of the story. It’s basically a whole movie of set-up to a payoff that doesn’t even canonically happen. A big thing with YA adaptations in this era was making a final book into two movies, regardless as to whether it needed that much time or not. Breaking Dawn does not need to be two movies at two hours each. About ten new characters are introduced here and the film is afraid of killing even one of them off. It's the last movie! We're not going to see these characters again! Kill some of them! There's just no emotional weight to any of it and I hate to say I was disappointed with the ending because I have such low expectations for these films but man, this was so unsatisfying.

Frances Ha (2012) - 8/10 Life is hard. And I hate this movie because it shows me so much of what terrifies me about being alive. And I love this movie because it shows me so much of what I’m alive for. Noah Baumbach’s brutally honest depiction of growing up and fending for yourself struck me in a way I wasn’t expecting and I think it’s because I’m at a point in my life where I’m worrying a lot about how it’s all going to turn out. The titular character is burdened with the stress of working low-paid jobs and paying rent while juggling school and making time for her passion of dancing as she tries to connect with people she’s lost, as temporary friends and housemates come and go. She feels like a lonely character despite often being around a lot of people. Frances Ha is fantastic and heartbreaking and uplifting… but it made me feel bad so I hate it.

#june #movies #wrap-up #film #follow for more #Twitter: @MShukster #bo burnham: inside #bo burnham: make happy #bo burnham: what. #the conjuring #the devil made me do it #a nightmare on elm street #one cut of the dead #dave chappelle: sticks and stones #fear(s) of the dark #bourne #the father #drag me to hell #moonrise kingdom #nobody #the darjeeling limited #face/off #luca #punch-drunk love #fargo #house #the princess bride #the hunchback of notre dame #ponyo #roman holiday

[evasjacks]

Charm: a Zoyalai one shot

A/N: okay so this started out as a one shot but um. I got carried away so it’s a reeeallly long one shot sjhsgsj enjoy !!

World: modern college setting (you don’t need to have read any of the books tbh)

Ship: Zoyalai

Word count: 7080

AO3

“I hate being rich.”

Perhaps if the statement had been voiced by anyone other than Lantsov- the same guy who purchased a yacht only to take it apart and try to ‘reinvent’ it’s engine- Zoya might have actually believed it.

Seeing as it was not, she only cocked a brow at him. They were in her apartment, supposedly completing their last semester’s joint project- two fields, one goal, and a decent sum of money as a reward for the winning pair. Of course, since they’d been paired about two months ago, Zoya had done most of the work. And Nikolai had spent his time pouting, complaining, or throwing himself onto her couch, and doing both.

In this case, it was the last option.

“But if you weren't, how would you ever find a date?” she said, shifting the notebook in her lap and jotting a few notes into the margins. 

“You don’t think my charm would sustain me?” he asked, and she glanced up from her perch on the carpeted floor long enough to cast him a glare.

“What charm?” she asked. In typical Lantsov fashion, he clutched a hand to his chest, feigning hurt, his hazel eyes wide in a mockery of shock.

“You wound me, Nazyalensky,” he said, and she could only roll her eyes in response, switching a blue pen for black to underline some of her notes. Nikolai may have no use for the reward, but Zoya already had plans for the money, and she intended to get it- with or without his aid.

“Your pride needs to take a hit every once in a while,” she replied without glancing up.

“Then thank the Saints for our weekly meetings,” he said drily. Zoya’s mind had already abandoned their little back and forth, leaping into a much more interesting world of chemical equations and furthering their current project, making her vision come true. 

She was somewhat aware of Nikolai sliding off the couch and leaving with a muttered excuse, but her sole focus was on her notes. There was a solution. There was a perfect way to merge both these worlds- it was the final step, the last piece of the puzzle and it was right there .

She couldn’t grasp the thought long enough to capture it. 

A headache was beginning in her left temple, growing with each second. She narrowed her eyes, the jumble of lined paper littered with pages and pages of her own thoughts and ideas blurring and reshaping before her.

Zoya let loose a frustrated breath, tearing off her reading glasses and pressing a hand to her pounding head. How long had she been at this? She glanced down at her phone, surprised to find it was already past midnight.

And they only had a week to complete this project.

“ Zoya ,” called Nikolai, dragging out the letters of her name the way her younger cousin often did when annoyed. She looked up to find him leaning against the wall, his blond hair tousled, and his light brows drawn together in confusion.

“Your fridge is completely empty,” he said, as though the statement might surprise her, or she might hop up in utter disbelief and rush to replace the missing items.

“I know,” she replied, stretching her legs out in front of her and leaning back on her hands. She couldn’t say much else- it’s not as though Nikolai would understand that once your friend, who had been paying for half the things in the apartment, had gotten an internship with a fashion studio and abandoned state in a blur of excited giggles and ginger hair, the bills had only doubled.

“Why is it that your fridge is empty?” he asked, seemingly troubled by this matter. Because I had to cut down on groceries and electricity. Because my third job just flunked my salary. Because you might joke about being poor, but you will never understand what it’s like.

“There’s coffee,” she said instead, tossing her hair over her shoulder. Nikolai’s frown deepened, and he crossed the room to where she was sitting, slumping down beside her and crossing his legs. With the crease between his brows, the purse of his lips, and the wide set of his bright hazel eyes, he looked more like a puppy in need of attention than an engineering student.

“Zoya, tell me you’ve had something other than coffee to sustain you since last week,” he said. Zoya snorted, crossing her legs to mimic his posture and mirroring his concerned expression.

“Nikolai, tell me you have better things to worry about, like our project, for example ,” she emphasized the last statement, raising both brows at him.

His hazel eyes were watchful for a moment, flicking over her face as if to discern her thoughts. It was an oddly intimate look that made Zoya suddenly very aware of the time, their proximity, and the way his blond locks tumbled into his eyes.

And in a blink, the spell was broken, an easy smile coming to replace it instead, reminding Zoya that this idiot was still Nikolai Lantsov, not unlike one of the guys she often played around with who's concern lasted as long as it took for them to stumble into her bed.

"Well I was just informed that my charm wouldn't get me a date to my father's party, so, yes I have quite a few things on my mind at the moment."

She rolled her eyes, more out of habit than anything else. Already, Nikolai was standing up, stretching as though he'd been hard at work for hours, his white polo shirt raising just enough to reveal a sliver of toned skin.

Deciding this was a very bad angle, Zoya stood as well.

Nikolai cast his gaze around the room as though searching for something he was missing, then clapped his hands together once and announced: "pizza!"

It took Zoya's tired mind a second to process what he'd said. Food sounded heavenly, but she still frowned.

"Nikolai it's past one, there isn't a single pizza place on campus that's open right now," she said.

"Did I never mention that I loved being rich?"

  ---

  It took a single phone call, and suddenly they had three willing takers. Nikolai had insisted they go for one just off campus, claiming the sauce there was excellent. It was late, and she was rather hungry, so Zoya agreed.

"We could have been here fifteen minutes ago," Zoya muttered, glaring at Nikolai as he slid the car into a parking space.

"I'm not certain they'd feed two corpses at this place, Nazyalensky- they've got standards." he punctuated the statement with a wink, climbing out of the car before she could snap at him for insulting her driving skills.

She settled for scowling at him as she got out as well, slamming the door shut, and then slamming it again because this was her car, her very old and rusted car whose doors did not close properly.

The cool night air was a welcome surprise, the barest whisper of cold nipping at her skin. She stepped onto the sidewalk, coming to stand beside Nikolai, who was watching the large sign advertising, 'Bataar's' in what might have once been bold lettering, but had long since faded to the barest hint of the words, red turning to brown at the hand of time.

"It says closed," she noted, because it did, and now that he'd promised her food, she was going to be very irritated if they were turned away at the door.

But Nikolai only flashed her a cocky grin in response, "not everyone's as lucky as us, General,"

She rolled her eyes at the nickname, the result of many the nights she'd told him off for not taking their project seriously. Or school. Or anything, really.

"Can it, Lantsov," she snapped as they began making their way to the pizza shop. 

Sure enough, a young woman with a short crop of black hair appeared behind the glass door, opening the door labeled closed to let them in. A small bell atop the door rang cheerfully in the darkness.

The woman gave Nikolai a sharp smile, an air of familiarity radiating off her as she punched his arm playfully. Somewhat playfully, since Nikolai still winced as though it pained him, though he greeted her with warmth.

Zoya liked the woman immediately.

"And who's the lovely lady?" she asked, eyeing Zoya with newfound interest, her amber eyes intense.

"She bites," Nikolai said matter-of-factly.

"Just how we like 'em," the woman responded with a wink, spinning on her heel and calling, "Tolya, can we get some pizzas?"

"You can't do this every time!" a deep, frustrated voice called back but the girl only shrugged, nodding at one of the few tables in the back.

"I've gotta run, but Tolya's got you guys covered- keep him on a leash, will you?"

It took Zoya a moment to realize the girl was talking to her, and by then she was off, the door swinging shut behind her, and Zoya was left alone with Nikolai in a small diner that smelled like a lot of things, though none of them were pizza.

"Her, I like," Zoya said finally. Nikolai grinned.

"Knew you would," he replied, shrugging off his jacket and tossing it over one of the plastic chairs as he sat.

Zoya tried not to wonder what that meant. Had he considered bringing her by before? She shook her head. Pizza. Then sleep.

More of the former.

"At ease, General," came Nikolai's voice, intruding her thoughts. She looked back with some surprise, to see him watching her with that same concerned look in his eyes. 

She sighed, pulling back the seat across from him to sit and wincing as it scraped against the floor. She slumped into it, already feeling a wave of tiredness hit her.

"What are you thinking?" Nikolai asked. 

"That our damn project is doomed to fail," she muttered in response. 

"No, it won't. The design you laid out is clever. It'll work." 

He said it casually, as though it were the most natural thing in the world. Zoya thought this might be the first time Nikolai had ever acknowledged their project, save a few messages, and some notes left on her desk. She blinked with surprise.

"Come now, I'm not all looks and no brain," he said, a smirk tugging at his lips.

She shook herself off, feeling the need to stump his pride down. She knew her design was good. That was never the issue.

"Clearly. And yet it won't translate properly into a real-life model, which is what we'll be tested on anyhow," she frowned, "if you'd looked over the notes I sent, you might be of some use."

Nikolai raised a brow, "take it out of the box."

"That's not the phrase, Nikolai, and it's not any help either." She snapped back, quickly tiring of this conversation. 

But Nikolai only leaned forward, his eyes growing more intense, "no, Zoya, I mean literally take it out of the box. Here, look-" he snatched a tissue with a human heart design printed on it, and retrieved a pencil from his pocket. Then he began to draw, "the design you have in mind- it's too limiting. You have a whole world of biochemical tech and you're confining it into this small machine. Too much air in a balloon- it's bound to pop."

Zoya frowned, leaning closer to see the quickly forming shape of- and she had to suppress an impressed gasp- her model. He looked over the notes. Beside it, he began adjusting some parts. Where she'd designed a small, box-like machine that would contain all the necessary programming to achieve her goal- a drop of blood in, a world of test results out- Nikolai's new sketch was more detailed. It was, she realized, multiple machines, all working together for one goal. 

The sketch was refined, despite its hurry, and he labeled a few parts as he spoke, animating his words with his hands excitedly. Zoya thought she'd never seen him like this- the embodiment of the word passion.

"I've given you one of the brightest minds to work with, Nazyalensky."

"You've given me a spoiled child in need of care"

She winced at her own words, said to her professor so long ago. Zoya wondered if she'd been wrong about Nikolai all along. 

"-and this wouldn't take nearly as long to build, either, less time and less work." He let the pencil drop with a light tap, his hazel eyes bright when they met hers.

"That's…" she trailed off. Brilliant. But she wasn't so high on this euphoria that had built up in her mind not to take account of two rather obvious things: they were only two people working on it, and one of them was dreadfully broke. 

"Impossible." She finished. A boyish grin appeared on Nikolai’s face, so unlike the self-assured, cocky smile he usually wore, teeth on full display.

" Improbable ," he corrected, "and I can have it done by Thursday."

Now it felt like the world was spinning around her. Done by Thursday? She'd traded shifts with some co-workers and begged off work for additional hours that week solely to work on this project.

This felt right around the time that her aunt would narrow her eyes and say, all good things come with a price.

It was as if Nikolai had read her thoughts. He leaned back in his seat, slipping back into the comfortable look of a man who was never refused a request. Or rather, one who had never needed to make requests, and spoke the language of demands instead.

"Which would leave you free on Friday night, no?" he asked, raising a light brow. It was clear he already knew the answer and that made her even more annoyed.

"I'm sure I'll find a way to fill my time," she replied.

Before Nikolai could say anything else, a large man wearing a white apron appeared, carrying two heavenly scented pizzas, one in each hand.

Zoya snatched Nikolai's sketch from the table as the man set down the pizzas, pocketing it. The man turned his amber eyes on Zoya, and she instantly connected the fact that he and the girl were related- Saints , they must be.

"Would you like me to recite any poetry as you eat?" he asked without preamble. Zoya blinked.

"What?" she asked, just as Nikolai said, "Tolya, I beg you not to"

The large man sighed, shaking his head with a deep sense of disappointment, "you're all unworthy," he said, and disappeared back into the kitchen he'd come out of.

Zoya frowned, "you keep interesting company," she noted. Nikolai chuckled.

"They keep me," he replied, though he did not elaborate.

He turned his eyes back on Zoya as though they'd never been interrupted, "come with me Friday,"

Zoya pretended not to understand, reaching instead for a slice of pizza, which burned her fingertips, the cheese clinging to the edges as she extracted it. She realized they'd never even ordered- they'd simply gotten pizza when they'd wanted it.

"Go with you where?" She asked innocently, taking a bite and instantly regretting it as the sauce burned her tongue. She swallowed against the heat, and found the taste was incredible. She had no idea what it was- something vegetarian but with a hint of citrus.

Nikolai raised both brows at her. Because of course, he'd been complaining about his father's party for weeks- how the old man insisted Nikolai be there for the cameras, and how desperate Nikolai was not to go.

"I need a date," he said again, a little more urgently now, his hazel eyes boring into her.

"Take Tolya," Zoya replied, cocking a brow at him.

"I doubt my tux will fit him,"

"Buy him a dress."

"Then what will I wear?" 

Zoya rolled her eyes, snatching up a second slice with more fervor than she'd ever shown- she really hadn't been eating properly. Nikolai joined her, taking up a slice of his own, though the question still hung in the air.

"How fancy?" she asked, sighing.

"Imagine a party designed for the Saints themselves. Then aim higher." 

Zoya let out a surprised laugh. Lantsov really was that rich. The sort of wealth that flooded into every corner and crevice of a person's life until they felt entitled to everything- including pizza in the middle of the night, from a closed restaurant.

She took another bite, contemplating it. 

"Done by Thursday?" she asked again, still unsure how that could be true. 

Nikolai grinned, "I can send David the blueprints tonight,"

She sighed. A party for those who think themselves higher than the Saints. A boy who thought himself higher than the world. 

In a few short words, her aunt would have used to describe the situation; an utter mess.

"You really are an idiot," she said finally, shaking her head, "Friday it is."

  ---

  Thursday went by in a rush of tv show binges and blasting all the music her roommate had hated, to spite the non-existent girl or satisfy herself, Zoya couldn't ascertain. But she enjoyed every second of it. 

Since she'd left her aunt's and moved into an apartment with her high school best friend, Genya Safin, Zoya had entered a more demanding world. Demanding of her as a student, a woman, and a person of color. 

Hours of freedom did not come by so easily, especially not in one's final semester before graduation.

"Go with the blue!" even through the phone's grainy camera, Genya's look of frustration pierced Zoya, and she glared right back.

"Gen you always say go with the blue, but I look damn good in every other color as well," Zoya said.

It was nearly five, and Nikolai would come to pick her up at seven for the ridiculous party that should not cause any form of stress on her terms. Because they were only partners. Maybe friends. 

Maybe just people who went out to pizza places in the middle of the night then talked for hours after. 

She sighed, dropping the third dress onto what might have been her bed- everything was hidden under a layer of clothing, so one could not be certain.

"Why does this matter so much, anyway? I thought you hated this guy," Genya said from where Zoya had perched the phone on her desk, angled just enough to catch the knowing tilt of the girl's mouth.

"It doesn't, I just want to look nice," Zoya responded evasively. "Trust me he's been here on nights when I was in a tank top, no makeup, and hair pinned up with pens. I don't need to impress him."

"How long did he stay on those nights?" Genya asked, not bothering to hide her smirk.

"Genya I'm going to end the call now," Zoya threatened, turning away and ignoring the way her cheeks heated.

No, Zoya was not getting worked up over this. Not Nikolai. Not some guy too rich for his own good.

"No, no, no, don't!" Genya cried, waving her hand emphatically. She waited for a beat, and when Zoya made no move to close the phone she said, more quietly, "I think the blue dress is very sexy."

Zoya rolled her eyes, "Genya, again, this has nothing to do with him."

Genya hummed.

Zoya wore the blue dress.

  ---

  It was nearing the general time that Zoya bored of her dates, abandoned them, or made better plans. Nikolai had not called, and she refused to pick up her phone.

Especially when a single glance at the mirror told her she looked positively breathtaking. If Nikolai wanted to cancel, she would not let him have a taste of the look at all.

As if on cue, her phone lit up with a call from Nikolai, the word 'idiot' , flashing on the screen. She smirked, letting it ring twice. Three times.

She picked up just before it ended the call.

"What?" she asked, sounding bored.

"Sick of me already, General? Well tonight will be a long one then," Nikolai said, and she could hear the smile in his voice.

She could also hear machinery in the background. The sound of an electric saw buzzing through the speaker. She frowned.

"Nightly torture routine?" she asked.

"If you mean for the tree, then yes," he replied, "I'm afraid I got a little caught up in a promise I made a pretty girl- she may abandon me if I don't solve this issue within the hour."

"Smart girl," Zoya muttered in response, then added, before she could restrain herself, "what's the problem, exactly?"

He hesitated, "we tried to merge two parts to save space but it seems we've crossed wires that should never be touched. David may never recover from the shock it produced"

"Is he hurt?" she asked, perking up.

"Mentally or physically? The former is a longer story, much too traumatic to handle over a phone call"

Zoya rolled her eyes, shifting the phone under her ear. "You need an expert, I'll be there in ten."

She hung up before he could respond.

  The ride should have been fifteen minutes really, but Zoya made it in eight. This and she'd stopped at one whole red light. She was growing soft.

The address Nikolai had sent her shortly after their phone call was to a garage, rather than his apartment, and when she arrived, it wasn't difficult to locate the one he was at.

After all, only one of the standard gray garage compartments had a deep blue convertible parked in front of it.

She quirked a brow.

The garage was halfway open, just large enough to get a glimpse inside, but small enough that she had to duck to enter.

The place looked like what she imagined the inside of Nikolai's mind was like: a mess of machine parts and blueprints, sketches taped to walls, and half-formed ideas lying around.

At its center, a very wiry man was welding a very large electronic saw. It looked like a single slip and the machine would slice through him instead of the wood. 

She shook her head, eyes landing instead on Nikolai, who had been scribbling on a piece of paper before he noticed her. His hazel eyes lit up at the sight of her, and he grinned. It was an oddly painted picture, she thought, him standing over a blueprint in a tux more expensive than anything she owned, hair perfectly parted, convertible outside.

And yet it was somehow also perfectly natural for Nikolai.

"You look stunning," he informed her when she approached him, a little annoyed that the clacking of her heels was drowned out by the saw- that was her favorite sound.

"I know," she responded, ignoring his impressed, lingering gaze and turning to the papers laid out before him.

"The problem?" She asked, looking them over. Nikolai let out a soft laugh, directing his attention back to the issue at hand as well.

"You see here-" he used a red marker to circle a small 3d model on the top left corner, "-it isn't holding its shape. The wiring sparks out, or the machinery collapses, something always goes wrong, but I can't merge it with any of the other parts, lest it mixes signals and explodes"

Zoya frowned, leaning over the papers and examining them more closely. This wasn't exactly her field- she had been studying medicine, but Zoya had taken a few bioengineering courses in the past, out of pure curiosity. 

"Don't merge it," she said simply, "place it within another compartment, doubling the energy transferring to it, but keeping it separate so the signals don't overlap."

Nikolai leaned over as well, drawing a line from one part to the other- bringing her half-formed idea to paper. He let out a light chuckle, part surprise, and part amusement. He was close enough that she could feel it against her cheek.

"Have I told you that you're a genius, yet?" he asked, brushing a strand of loose hair behind her ear, his touch grazing her skin and sending shivers down her body.

She straightened, stepping back from the table and ignoring the way her heart had picked up speed. Get it together , she snapped at herself.

"Is that all that needs fixing? Or are there any other problems that need a stronger eye," she asked, glancing around boredly.

Nikolai grinned, the sort of grin that made her think he saw right through her fake boredom and her sharp eyes, down to the very thought beating through her body at that moment. The one that said Nikolai Lantsov was beginning to have an effect on her.

"None so far, although if you could tear David away from his work long enough to call his girlfriend, I would be immensely grateful. But seeing as that would take two storms and the very earth to shake underneath him- we'd best be on our way."

  ---

  If Zoya had thought that Nikolai’s penthouse apartment with its built in AI system that handled his arrangements was pretentious, she had not at all been prepared for tonight.

Mansion was an understatement. A castle-like building loomed proudly behind a link iron fence, as though it were a king and the circle of trees around its edge was his subjects. There was something distinctly Russian about the turquoise and gold lines that rose to outline the large glass windows, only adding to the shimmering quality of it- as though they’d trapped the stars themselves within those walls.

“Impressed yet?” asked Nikolai from beside her, and she had to roll her eyes, opening the door to climb out before he had the chance to do something ridiculous like open it for her. Before her heel had met the grassy floor, though, he caught her wrist, stopping her. 

Zoya looked back with some surprise, to find that Nikolai’s hazel eyes were a little more intent. He hesitated, a fete which had never come to play long as she’d known him. After a beat, he dropped her hand, his smile soft.

“You really do look beautiful,” he said quietly. Zoya blinked. She had been complimented by plenty of people before, on dozens of different occasions- she prided herself on the ability to look past the praise and see the motive.

With Nikolai, she couldn’t tell. She also couldn’t tell why her heart skipped a beat.

In order to avoid these thoughts, she glanced away, muttering a ‘thank you,’ and stepping out of the car. She let the door fall gently shut behind her, and heard the thump of Nikolai’s side closing as well. 

For a moment, she let herself take a deep breath, organize her thoughts. She was not on a date with an over-eager boy. She was completing her part of a deal, with a guy whose presence she would not need to endure within a week. Even if they won the competition, it would be nothing but a split prize between them.

Which was likely for the best.

“You grew up here?” she asked, more to have something to say than anything else as she joined Nikolai in walking towards the ridiculously large mansion, weaving between other pristine cars that cost more than she’d ever dream of making, grass turning to concrete beneath her struggling heels.

“Charming, isn’t it?” he said as they reached the open gates, revealing a large fountain with a sculpted family of foxes raised on their hind legs, mouths parted around a steady stream of clear water.

“Pretentious, more like,” she replied, eyeing the place with distrust. Nikolai only shrugged.

“This is likely the only reason my parents are together- neither is willing to part with this house,” he said it thoughtfully, as though acknowledging his parents’ loveless marriage was a normal fete. “Think something happy.”

“Why?” Zoya asked as they came to stand before a row of stairs leading inside.

“You’ll find it only gets more difficult once you’re inside,” he responded, turning his bright gaze on her, “my personal favorite is that no matter how dreadful everyone is, there’s an abundance of champagne to keep any murderous thoughts at bay.”

Zoya raised both brows, “let’s hope so,” she mumbled, already dreading the night ahead.

“You know what they say,” Nikolai said with a wink, “we hope or we falter.”

As soon as they stepped inside, Zoya knew she had made a big mistake. A large ballroom spread out before them, high chandeliers reflecting off the crowd of women in stylish dresses and men in sharp suits, fake laughter melded with music from a piano that was being played somewhere in the background. A grand staircase that split to two and spiraled up to a second floor sat it in the center, and Zoya could not help but be at least a little bit impressed.

“How much does it cost to heat this place?” she muttered, gaze roving over the marble floors and the crystal tables that littered the room casually.

Nikolai let out a soft chuckle, snatching two glasses from a faceless servant with ease, and offering one to her, his hazel eyes sparkling.

Zoya accepted it, still caught up in the grandiose of the place as Nikolai began leading them further inside, hand coming to rest on the small of her back. She sucked in a sharp breath, downing her drink in one go. 

“Wonderful way to start the night- oh saints ,” the last part he said with a bitter undertone, though he wore a convincingly cheerful grin. Zoya followed his line of sight to find an extravagantly dressed couple- large man with pale blue eyes in a sharp tux and a woman with dye-blonde hair and a low cut red dress.

When the woman's hazel eyes fell on Zoya, narrowing slightly, she realized who these people were.

"Might be a good time to mention," Nikolai murmured beside her ear, "they think you're my girlfriend,"

Zoya blanched, turning her wide eyes on him, but Nikolai only shrugged apologetically. Before she could say a word- or smack him for that matter- the dreaded pair had appeared in front of them.

" Kolya , sweetheart, you're late again!" this from his mother, who was eyeing Zoya as she spoke, the fakest of pleasant smiles twisting her red lips.

"I lost track of time," Nikolai said, smiling politely, then he made a grand gesture with his hand indicating Zoya, "you haven't had the pleasure to meet Zoya just yet, so it was well worth the wait,"

"Oh, lovely- isn't she lovely, Alexander?" his mother cooed. Alexander was busy taking in Zoya's dress appreciatively, his icy blue eyes so unlike Nikolai's.

As if sensing her discomfort, Nikolai let a hand rest casually on her shoulder, pulling her closer, letting the scent of his cologne wash over her.

"The pleasure is mine," Zoya got out, hoping her voice did not sound strained. She had the fleeting thought that perhaps she may just hammer Nikolai's head in with the stupid project that brought them here.

"Whatever happened to that darling girl- what was her name? The one with the-" she indicated her eyes vaguely, "you know from there ."

She felt Nikolai stiffen beside her, and wondered if it would be particularly rude to punch his mother in front of this crowd.

"Surely you remember sending flowers for Alina's wedding, mother," he said smoothly, steel lacing his words. 

"Pity," she said, as though it wasn't.

"Have you spoken to your brother, yet?" this from Mister Lantsov, who'd woken from the trance of seeing a female for the first time to cut Nikolai a glare. It did not seem particularly fatherly. Zoya spared a moment to try and remember what Nikolai had said about his parents, the few times he'd brought them up, but came up empty.

"Not quite, but I'll be sure to see him before I leave," he replied, a bit of tightness to his words. Zoya had not known he had a brother at all. It seemed to her the tension with his family was growing and growing with every second. She glanced over his father's shoulder, desperate for a way out.

The crowd of people offered nothing. Zoya turned her attention on Nikolai, instead.

"Nik," Zoya said, a name she'd never used for him before, letting her fingers brush his chest as she spoke- the surprised look on his face was worth the act, "show me where the bathrooms are, will you?"

He blinked, then a sly grin spread over his face and he excused them, steering her away from the dreadful pair that were his parents.

"A warning. A single fucking warning, Lantsov!" she whispered furiously as he led her past the crowds into a quiet hall lined with doors.

"I didn't realize they would respond like that," he said. Zoya spun on him, narrowing her eyes.

"That's not an apology," she snapped back. Already her mind was replaying the moment she'd agreed to come and apparently be humiliated by the idiots that had raised an idiot. Zoya concluded that she must have been dizzy with the lack of sleep..

Nikolai sighed, shoulders slumping. He ran a hand through his tidy hair, mussing it.

"I'm sorry," he said finally, shaking his head. "I just didn't want to face them alone"

It was a strangely vulnerable thing to say, and it caught Zoya completely off guard. She let her sharp gaze sweep over him, "then why didn't you bring a friend?"

A look of hurt flashed in his eyes, and he glanced at Zoya with something almost like disappointment, though not quite that. "You really don't see me as a friend?"

Zoya blinked. Tonight had been a bad idea from start to finish- not coming drunk had made for two bad decisions. Having this conversation, with her messy thoughts and complicated emotions was proving to be a much, much worse one.

She shook her head, pushing past him as the prospect of a bathroom where she would not have to deal with her current situation became almost impossible to resist.

"Zoya-" he started, but the thick wooden door had already closed behind her, and she could no longer hear his voice through it.

She leaned her head back against the closed door, an overwhelming sensation washing over her. Nikolai, an idiot, also the person she was forced to work with. Also the ridiculously rich guy who brought her here. 

Also the man who refused to leave her thoughts even when he wasn't around. Damn him.

She heard his hesitant footsteps retreat back down the hall. Good , she decided, tamping down the rising sense of disappointment.

There was a red cushioned bench beside the doorway, and since it wasn't a normal bathroom, that led to a circlet of glass sinks and a narrow hall of stalls. What the hell else was there to do with that much money , she thought distantly.

Zoya slumped onto the chair, slipping off her heels and retrieving her phone from the deep blue clutch she'd stolen from Genya before the girl had left.

At the memory, her heart welled up, and Zoya quickly dialed her friend. She found she could use the distraction.

  --

  No one ever came into the bathroom during the hour or so that Zoya occupied the space, which was a relief. She had called Genya and asked the other girl to update her on everything. Everything that was not Zoya, the competition, or any Lantsov.

Genya had obliged, launching into a story about how she had fought one of the famous designers- whose name Zoya had forgotten within a minute, something distinctly French and difficult to pronounce- and wrestled a particularly ugly belt out of her hands, tossing it out the window of the thirtieth floor.

"Was anyone hurt?" Zoya had asked, barely suppressing her laughter.

"Only their eyes were harmed by that dreadful orange," Genya responded with a snort. "It's not even a color David would wear, and he's got the most god awful taste of all!"

Zoya frowned at the name, then asked, "David from engineering?"

On the other end, Genya seemed to falter, "oh- um. Well, yes. I suppose you were bound to find out, since he and Nikolai are rather close."

"Genya! How could you keep this from me?" Zoya said, finding that the statement did leave a sharp sting. Her best friend, and she hadn't even known about this new interest. 

She recalled Nikolai mentioning a girlfriend of David's, and realized she had missed more than just an interest.

"You were so busy, and so caught up in school and your project… we hardly talk anymore," Genya said, making Zoya wince.

Zoya sighed, shaking her head. She couldn't even manage a friendship, let alone the entire mess that was her life.

"Sorry about that," she said at last, "I'll call you again tonight, alright? I think i should get back, anyway,"

"Okay," her voice was quiet on the other end for a moment before she added, "you know it wouldn't be horrible, Zoya, if you gave him a chance."

She said nothing, letting the call end with her silence.

Zoya slipped her feet back into the heels she'd been wearing, standing up and smoothing the wrinkles of her dress. There were some permanent lines around her waist, but she could do nothing about those.

Quietly, she let the door open, her ears instantly flooding with the sounds of chatter and the gentler play of what must have been a very tired pianist. She could just make out a figure in red weaving through the crowd, and Zoya's mood instantly soured. She really did not want to be there.

Instead, she turned opposite to the ballroom, down the narrow hall, her heels clacking gently on the marble floor. 

There was a glass door on the far end that seemed to lead outside, and she made a beeline for it, reasoning that maybe she could while away a few more hours before she found Nikolai to take her home.

She'd expected to find herself in a backyard of sorts, or perhaps even a lot full of more fancy parked cars, but Zoya was surprised to find herself standing in a garden. She sucked in a breath, taking in the view of rose bushes and vines weaved around extravagant arches. They made a pathway to a small pond lit from beneath the water.

"They're all roses," said a voice. Zoya jumped, turning to find Nikolai leaning against the wall, a small smile appearing on his face. "My mother made sure of it. She hated every other type of flower, so she bought enough rose bushes to fill a garden. And then she did."

Zoya let out a soft laugh, trying to link the red clad woman with the person Nikolai was speaking of, and speaking so kindly of, too.

"I have to agree, they're stunning," she said.

"It's possible I spent more time here than in there," he said, nodding towards the door she'd exited from.

Inside, Zoya had found it nearly impossible to see Nikolai as one of them. Someone who had spent his childhood days racing up and down extravagant staircases, servants calling to him every morning. At least, not the Nikolai she'd come to know- not the one who was passionate and smart and had a dazzling smile when he'd figured something out.

She could see him here, though. Laying on the grass with a book in hand, tinkering with parts of a toy airplane and tracking mud inside when night fell and he had to leave. 

"What are you smiling about?" Nikolai's voice came from beside her- she hadn't even heard him approach- forcing Zoya back into the present. She cast him a sharp look.

"Nothing," she snapped, crossing her arms and glancing away. She kept her gaze resolutely on the garden.

Either Nikolai misunderstood the gesture or he was a total idiot, because he slipped out of the jacket of his tux, gently draping the material around her shoulders. She considered not accepting it, but she had to admit it was rather cold, and the jacket promised her warmth, carrying with it the smell of Nikolai's cologne. She tugged it closer around herself.

"Did I mention that you looked beautiful today?" he asked, close enough that his breath grazed her ear and sent shivers down her body.

Zoya let herself meet his eyes, bright embers in the darkness. Her heart picked up speed and wished she could to tamp down the erratic rhythm. This was Nikolai , she reminded herself. 

But when he reached out to tuck a strand of hair behind her ear, she didn't move away.

"Nikolai…" she said, her voice was barely a whisper. She wanted to lose herself in the moment, but she found she had to ask, "Why did you ask me to come?"

His eyes flicked over her face, brows drawing together. He huffed out a laugh, shaking his head, "I wasn't sure you'd agree if I asked you out."

Zoya blinked. Then, with a raised brow, she closed the space between them, leaving just a hairsbreadth between their lips, "are you asking now?"

He didn't reply. Instead, he bridged the final bit of space between their lips, capturing her mouth in a kiss. Zoya suppressed a gasp as his fingers caressed her face, one hand tugging her closer by the waist. She linked her arms around his neck, pulling him closer.

This was not how tonight had meant to go at all.

Still, she let the feel of him and the scent of his cologne overwhelm her senses, parting her lips beneath his, kissing him back with as much fervor. 

When he pulled back it was like resurfacing from drowning. Neither moved for a moment. Her heart was beating rapidly in her chest.

Nikolai's light eyes found hers, and he stroked the line of her jaw, a small smile tugging at his lips. "I'm asking."

Two months. Two months they'd worked together, staying up past the morning hours. She'd considered him an idiot for most of that time, but Zoya found her perception of Nikolai was slowly changing. Perhaps this wasn't a horrible idea after all. She made a mental note to tell Genya she'd been right.

"Well," Zoya said, finding that she didn't mind the turn of events so much. She leaned closer into his embrace, letting her words brush against his lips. "I'm agreeing."

#ada writes #m:fics #zoyalai #Zoya Nazyalenski #Nikolai Lantsov #Grishaverse #King of Scars #Rule of Wolves #the Grisha trilogy #m:w.zoyalai

[struckbyelectriclove]

35, 47, and 65 from the MC asks? Thanks again for sharing the stories.

of course! i love reading em sm and they deserve to be shared with everyone fhndnd

35. Favorite place in Hogsmeade?

definitely the three broomsticks! kat loves madam rosmerta and ros thinks of her as a kind of surrogate daughter, so she loves going in to help out! also makes extra cash here and there, though she can only really clean tables since she can’t really handle being yelled at by customers. they learned that the hard way hfndndd

47. Would they like memes if they would have lived their teenage years today?

god absolutely. kat is already so weird and the knowledge of memes would just add on to her establishing weirdness. i’m unsure if she’d quote that many but she’d definitely say something along the lines of “this is so sad, flitwick cue the frog choir”

65. Who's their favourite Weasley sibling?

don’t tell charlie this, but it’s bill. it’s bill by a slim margin tho fjdjdk he just carries that immaculate older brother energy with him and she loves it so damn much!! charlie is also like brother but theyve got a more pest-like sibling relationship lol they tease each other quite a bit, though charlie wins most of the last words

#this was fun ty!! #ekaterina solokov #ask game #jmax523 #charlie weasley #bill weasley #madam rosmerta #hphm mc #hphm #asks

[evilelitest2]

What is the dirtbag left? People keep talking about it but I have no clue what it is

Oh this answer is gonna suck.  Good question as always though.  

Ok before we can get into the dirtbag left, I want to talk about the major factions of leftist in the United States, and I am discounting Moderates/Centrist/Blue Dog Democrat's, I am specifically focused on people who support actual left wing policies.  Roughly speaking they can be broken up into the following groups though each group is a lot more complicated than I am implying here

The first and most dynamic faction are the progressives, people who are focused on the rights of marginalized people.  Sometimes they are called “identity Politics”  They are further subdivided into a bunch of specific interest groups, but their main unifying argument is “society is specifically persecuting towards certain groups and we need to address that” 

Civil Rights, who focus on the rights of African Americans 

Feminists who focus on the rights of women

The Queer Community, who are focused on the rights of Gender and Sexual Minorities (Gay people, Trans people, Non Binary people, Bi people, intersex, asexual ect

This group is really divided within itself but lets not get sidetracked

Groups focusing on the rights of Latin Americans, both citizens and immigrants

Groups focusing on the rights of Muslims/Middle Easterners

Groups focusing on the rights of Jews/Combating antisemitism

Groups focusing on the rights of Asian Americans

And finally groups focusing on the rights of the disabled 

The next major group is the labor movement, who focus on the rights of workers, focusing on things like Unions, increasing the minimum wage, addressing the wealth gap and very New Deal FDR policies, and tend to be anticapitalistic or at least Social Democrat.   

Environmentalists, who want the world to not die

Anti War advocates

Pro Education/Pro Science anti Fundamentalists' people who just want good goverment.  

And some post modernists thrown in because why not?

The two main groups that make up the left are the first two, the issues of Identity Politics and Class, and there is a LONG history of these two groups having trouble le working together.  One of the major issue is that a lot of poor whites would happily welcome a lot of leftist social policies, but vote conservative if they believes those policies will help black people, even if it hurts their own best interest.  I mean take the New Deal, which was among the greatest economic period of US history and was popularly supported by most Americans.  However a lot of poor whites supported it because Latinos and Blacks were not allowed access to most of its benefits.  ANd once the Democratic Party started to pursue desegregation and women’s rights, these poor whites abandoned the party which gave them a future and voted for policies that hurt their own best interest because of their extreme bigotry.  Which is the most frustrating part of American History.   

And among a lot of Democrats (mostly centrist) there is this idea that the best way to win elections is to stab marginalized communities in the back in order to win Republican voters.  When Bill Clinton won in 1992, he did so in large part by abandoning a lot of leftist principles, he embraced Third Way style Liberalism and deregulation (which led to the 2008 crash thanks Clinton) but he also happily supported Right wing ideas about trying to keep crazy radicals minorities from advancing too far in politics.  Basically try to rebrand the Democrats as “we aren’t as crazy as the Republicans, but we ditched all of that lame uncool parts of politics that makes your family uncomfortable”.  

So the Dirtbag Left (there term not mine) was like “Hey could we do this...but for communism?”  And like most bad things, its origin is with Nazis.

The Dirtbag Leftist are Marxists who think the best way to win Trump voters over to the left is to combine Socialist style economic/welfare policies with conservative styles attacks on “Free Speech” and “Identity Politics.”  The “nicer” version of these guys basically say “ok we win them in with the economic policies and once we implement that, we can work on the other issues”.  The cruelr version of that basically want a socialist state...for white straight men and nobody else.  

This happened because some communists were looking at how the Alt-Right was radicalizing apolitical young men and were like “wait we can do that too”  

See if you have ever had the misfortune of being in Nazi/Red Pill/Gamergate style spaces you will notice that they actually share a lot of the left’s complains about the status que.  They dislike both parties, they don’t like capitalism, and they think our current consumerist way of life is souless drudgery.  So some communists were like “What if we found the exact same demographic as these guys but tried to turn them to communism instead of Fascism?”  Which sounds like a good idea but here is the problem

The type of people who become Nazis had to already be bigoted anti intellectuals in the first place.  All you have done is given some of them Marxist Rhetoric rather than Nazi Rhetoric, they are the exact same toxic people.  And in trying to cater to them, you have allowed them to infiltrate's your movement.  

The other quality of the Dirtbag Left is that they think that the Centrist Democrats (Clinton, Obama, Biden ect) are a greater threat than the conservatives, and that if the Far Right and the Far Left can team up to destroy the center, the radicals can work out their issues.  Which has never worked ever in human history but they keep trying.  

Initially the DIrtbag Left was basically vulgar leftists who wanted to down play the issues that trigger conservatives (Abortion, minority rights, feminism, being nice to people) in order to get them to support their social/economic policies, but it quickly became co-opted by the Alt Right themselves, and now they are basically just advocates of a Herrenvolk style social state.  Or really...they are what would happen if the Nazis actually tried to combine Nationalism with Socialism.  

And  while they aren’t a large group, like the Alt-Right they are really really prominent online and are constantly engaged in wide spread harassments campaigns that are basically find/replace Gamergate harassments campaigns.  They attached themselves pretty hard to Bernie's Sanders campaign and did a really good job in ruining his chances in both primaries, and then attached themselves to Tulsi Gabbard’s fucking toxic campaign after that.  At this point they are basically just Alt Rightists with a socialist brand reskin.   Sometimes called the Red Brown Alliance

#ask EvilElitest #dirtbag left #Leftism #Marxism #Communism #Alt RIght #Gamergate #chapo trap house #Herrenvolk #National Socialism #The Red Brown Alliance

[florenceandthemachine]

MORE BROKEN TUMBLR ASKS I AM SORRY ANYWAY. holy fuck this got long and severely out of hand. also apologies to @casscent because apparently Tumblr responded to this ask this morning with the answer “a”. so that’s cool. 

@casscent​ asked:

heyyyy hope you're doing great!  Ok how about Eddie meeting Buck in south america, bartending, instead of LAFD? I've been having that idea but too lazy to write. Thanks, xoxo.

“Welcome to Padrino, how can I satisfy you tonight?”

“Oh God, is that seriously how you greet your customers?”

It probably said a lot about Buck that a sarcastic response through him that much, but hey, being one of the few English speakers in one of the best bars in Equador had its perks. It was huge, it was clean, it was easy to find, and the immediate distance to the U.S. Army base in Manta meant that there was never a short supply of American citizens, going to or from deployment, who only spoke (you guessed it) English.

Even now, he had to admit, it was surprising getting a response that wasn’t a clear dismissal (or a drink order, acting like Buck hadn’t said anything at all), but Buck had always been good at rolling with the punches. 

“Trust me, looking at you? I could have said a lot worse.”

Business had been pretty slow, as it usually was in the mid-week, but even if the place had been bursting at the seams he would have taken the time to look his newest customer up and down. He was beautiful, that was no doubt—tan and tall, lean, with dark hair that lined his jaw and dark eyes that could probably melt steel if their owner should so desire to try.

The bar may not have been swamped, but it wasn’t empty, either—after taking Tall, Dark, and Handsome’s order (“Edmundo”, he had clarified, when Buck had to ask for a name for the tab) he bounced around the bar, but inevitably found himself back in Edmundo’s gravitational pull.

That in itself was curious; Buck had seen a lot of people at the bar, spoken to most of them, and flirted with most of them, but he hadn’t seen someone quite as captivating—while remaining as relatively silent—as Edmundo before. Most of the time, the men and women who were only a refuel and rest stop between Over There and home were another blend of insanity all together; they were rowdy, and loud, celebratory for all the right reasons, even the ones who came in alone.

Edmundo, though… well, he almost looked like he was being sent from one war zone to another.

“So, Edmundo—“

“Eddie. Call me Eddie.”

He grinned. “Well, Eddie, you can call me Buck,” he started, tapping at his badge. “And before you so rudely interrupted me, Eddie—“

Another snort of laughter. Buck grinned.

“What’s got you looking so down? You look like you’re heading to the firing squad, not heading home.”

Eddie looked over him slowly, his eyes a mix of critical and curious, tilting his head to the side. “How do you know I’m going home?”

“Well…” Buck hummed thoughtfully, tossing a rag over his shoulder as he closed another tab out, sliding the billfold and a smile over to the couple who he hoped would take the hint and make out somewhere other than his bar. “You’re sitting here alone, instead of trying to bond prematurely with your future platoon, proving that you’re one of the boys, or whatever it is that makes guys crave the acceptance of other guys. You’re wearing your civvies, not your fatigues, which means you don’t have any expectations of formality when you get wherever you’re going, but it also means you’re not expecting any commanding officers to walk in and reprimand you. And because you ordered a Coors. Seriously, man, no one who’s about to go overseas orders something as boring as Coors. The last outgoing squad in here ordered Goldschlager for the entire bar. It was disgusting.”

Eddie let out a full laugh at that as he tipped his beer in Buck’s direction—and what a lovely sound it was—and Buck let himself preen a little as Eddie nodded his head.

“Got it in one.” He said with a smirk, taking another swig from his boring beer, his smile falling a little bit as he swallowed, seeming to come back into himself, weighing Eddies earlier question with an entirely new meaning. 

“My flight is in three days, we’re waiting for some of my squad members to be cleared by medical before we go home. My CO offered to get me home earlier, but I guess… I don’t know what I’ll find when I get there. Somehow, Texas has become even more daunting than the desert.”

Buck didn’t know how to respond to that, so he just didn’t; he knew as well as anyone else that useless platitudes were just that, useless, and it didn’t look like any faux words of wisdom would have helped Eddie in that moment anyway.

The two were quiet as Buck poured another round of shots for one of the smaller tables at the back of the bar, watching critically as the patron stumbled on her way back to her friends, but as long as the tab was open and the drinks weren’t spilled, he wasn’t going to complain yet.

“What about you, Buck? Are you happy here, or just avoiding your own firing squad, like I am?” His brows rose again as he heard Eddie speak, not just because the other was initiating more conversation, but because he had been tending bar for almost a year and no one had asked him that before.

The question should have been an easy one, but nothing was easy, really, not when you were comparing backgrounds with a fucking vet—and try as Buck might, there was no way that ‘I ran away from my shitty parents and ended up crossing over Panama and I’m a bar tender because my options were either that or hooking’ would sound anything but whiney to someone who was coming home from actual war. So he shrugged, made Eddie his change, and tilted his head.

“Just taking it as it comes, Eddie. Like a lot of us. Like you will be for the next three days, it sounds like.” He offered, and Eddie snorted as he pocketed his change, leaving a few bills on the bar. A small wave was the only goodbye they exchanged as Eddie turned and walked out of the bar.

--

Repeat guests weren’t the typical norm in Padrino, and Buck had to admit, he was a little surprised to see Eddie walking back in the next night.

“Welcome to Padrino, would you like a taste?”

“Jesus, Buck, that was even worse than yesterd—oh, hey, are you alright? You get into a fight or something after I left last night?” Eddie asked, his teasing expression immediately clouded over by something that was strangely resemblant of genuine concern, and Buck blinked in surprise as he touched his own brow. “What? Oh, no, I just didn’t put any concealer on tonight. It’s just a birthmark.”

Eddie leaned in to examine it, and Buck held his breath, trying to ignore how close they both were, all of a sudden, and wow, Eddie’s eyes were a beautiful color this close, and—

“Huh. Cute.”

And now Eddie was calling him cute and Buck felt his cheeks heat up.

“Shut up, Eddie. What can I get for you? Same old boring beer?”

Their night went on in a somewhat similar fashion as before, with Eddie allowing himself more than one beer this time, and Buck having a few more customers to distract himself with when he felt himself pulled in by Eddie for a bit too long. After a wave of patrons had wandered out onto the patio and off of their property, Buck sighed in relief, pocketing a thick roll of tips as he tapped away at the bar terminal.

“I think I found a solution to your problem, by the way.” He said as he reappeared in Eddie’s corner, sliding another beer his way as he tossed the empty bottle into the recycling bin. Eddie looked marginally surprised, but curious, and gestured for Buck to continue. “For your hypothetical firing squad back at home. Clearly, the best answer is to just stay here in Equador. You can avoid getting shot, I can teach you how to make a mean canelazo, everybody wins.”

Eddie was laughing again—wow, what a nice sound—and Buck’s eyes were probably just playing a trick on him, but he actually looked somewhat remorseful when he had to shake his head.

“‘Fraid I can’t do that, Buckaroo. I, um. I have someone needing me to get home.”

“Oh? Wife? Girlfriend?… Boyfriend? Come on now, it’s the responsibility of every good bartender to know.”

Eddie looked torn for a moment, and Buck was worried he had taken a step past the line, until Eddie looked back up to him, and Buck felt his heart stop, because oh god—Eddie was being shy. It was adorable. Buck couldn’t handle it.

“Actually… I have a son. Christopher. His mom left us when I was deployed… I can’t make him wait any longer.” He fished a small chain out of his coat pocket, a small pendant dangling from the chain. The St. Christopher’s pendant swung between his fingers, and Eddie seemed to bring himself back to the present as he stowed the chain back in his pocket. “He’s, um. He’s a great kid. And I’m lucky to be his dad, I just… He’s been with my parents for four years, and he’s only seven.”

Buck couldn’t help but smile, leaning down, resting his head in a hand as he shook his head. “He’s only seven, and he’s the reason you’re afraid to go back?”

“What if he doesn’t remember me?”

“Eddie, please.” Buck said, a snort on his lips, shaking his head. “I’ve only met you twice now, and I can guarantee I will never forget you.”

The night continued on easily after that, conversation flowing naturally, even as Eddie put back a few more beers. When the time came for them to part ways, Eddie stood again, offering the same silent wave that he had before, and… well, that just wouldn’t do.

“Night, Eddie.” He called in a sing-song voice, considering it a victory as Eddie paused and looked back over his shoulder.

“Night, Buck.”

--

Though the previous night was technically his Friday, because Buck was a saint, he still answered his phone when the bar owner called at 1030 that night, fresh from the shower and with nothing else to do. Maria, his late-night cohort, had gone into labor in the middle of one of the busiest nights of the week, and like the saint he was, Buck was happy to fill in.

And take over the tips that night.

But mostly, to fill in, like the saint he was.

“Buckaroo!”

…okay, and maybe for one other reason.

Eddie was back in his spot on the bar (and when had it become Eddies spot?) and… had a row of shot glasses emptied around him, and if that hadn’t told Buck that Maria had worked her magic on him, the big smile on his face would have been key enough.

“It’s my favorite Bucky-Buck!”

Well, at least Eddie seemed like a happy drunk.

Buck didn’t even need to fake a smile, which was as surprising to him as anything else, as he clocks himself in. “Well, if it isn’t my favorite Edmundo.” He said, a teasing lilt to his voice, and the grin that Eddie shot his way was blinding. He immediately filled up a pint glass with water and slid it over to him, easily sliding into the business of the bar, handling a few extra tabs as customers poured in and out of the bar.

As easy as it was for him to tend the bar, it was even easier for him to converse with Eddie. Eddie was the ideal drunk, really—he was all smiles when Buck looked over, he was nice enough to any of the people who sat next to him, and more importantly, he was more than happy to throw back any drink that Buck put in front of him, including water.

“Buck, how do you get so handsome?” Eddie asked him after his fourth glass of water, looking up at Buck like he hung the moon. It wasn’t unusual for a drunken stranger to be so forward in their thoughts, especially regarding the bar staff, but that didn’t mean that Buck didn’t feel a little bit of heat rising in his cheeks every time Eddie directed some of those thoughts toward him.

“Buck, your arms look so strong! I bet you could lift me. Let’s try it!”

Oh, god.

“Buck, did I tell you how cute your beauty mark is? It’s so cute. Buck you’re so cute.”

No one had ever called it a beauty mark before, and Buck felt his flush raise high on his cheeks in the same moment as he balled up the rag he was using to wipe down the bar and chuck it at Eddie’s head.

Eddie started to calm down—dozing, maybe?—as the bar started to close down, midnight long since past. It was just Eddie and a few other parties at the bar, but where Eddie was quieting down, they were just riling up. And Buck was the lucky bitch who got to cut them off.

“Cmon, kid, I just want ‘nother drink. You can’t cut me off yet, I’m f-I’m fine! See?”

The blond man on the other side of the bar was certainly not fine, but far be it from Buck to judge—he just couldn’t serve him any more alcohol.

“I’m sure you are, so why don’t you drink some water and let your friends take you home?”

The hand that pushed at his chest was not a welcome surprise; hell, it wasn’t a surprise at all, Buck had no misconceptions about the kinds of assholes that would try to fight a bartender, but before he could even threaten to call the cops, the blond asshole was out for the count, body hitting the floor after the sharp slap of skin on skin contact.

“Don’t you fucking touch him.”

Eddie stood, body prone over the quickly-unconscious male, his fist still extended. Any signs of inebriation had apparently worn off; his body was steady, the punch was aimed well, and probably packed enough strength behind it to feel like a freight train. Wow, Eddie had muscly arms. How had Buck not noticed that before?

Okay, no, hold on, this was not the time or the place to be aroused by how strong and powerful and fucking insanely hot Eddie was. No sooner had that thought crossed his mind did Eddie look over at him, their eyes locking (and oh god, Buck was instantly hard, feeling that smoldering gaze trained on him), but the spell was almost immediately broken as Eddie took a step back, eyes wide and uncertain. Buck could read his customers like a book 99% of the time, and if the look on Eddie’s face said anything, it was that Buck had about a second before Eddie fled.

“Buck, I’m so sorry, I—”

“Stop, Eddie. You’re okay, thank you for doing that.”

“I shouldn’t have.”

“Eddie—”

“I have to go. I’m sorry.” Buck sighed as Eddie slapped a few bills down on the table and turned heel, nearly sprinting out of the bar with a surprising agility for someone who had only moments before been complimenting Buck on his ‘beauty mark’.

Oh well. There was always tomorrow.

--

Except, Buck realized the next morning, there wouldn’t be a ‘tomorrow’ Today. Whatever. Eddie had said that his flight was in three days the night they had met, which meant that he was going to be gone today. Hell, he probably already was gone.

Disappointment pooled in his stomach, but somehow, that made him feel all the more foolish. He doubted that Eddie even remembered who he was, let alone what the looked like, let alone the things that he had been saying last night.

--

Two years later, Buck’s world burst into color when Chim a calendar, of all things, brought his world full circle.

“Okay, now that… is a beautiful man.”

Buck had to turn, and then did an honest to God double take, when who else but Edmundo—his Edmundo, not that he had any right to think that—walked out of the locker room. He looked… different. More serious (or maybe he was just sober), but there was no denying the face, the hair, and if all else failed, the tattoos. He stood, frozen on the spot, as Bobby walked past him, taking turns to introduce everyone in the squad.

“Eddie, this is Hen, Chim, and back there is—“

“Buck?”

Two years. Two years had gone by, and Eddie still lit up like they were staring at one another across a bar. Buck couldn’t help it—he grinned back, taking a few easy strides to wrap Eddie in a hug, pleasantly surprised when Eddie didn’t even miss a beat, hugging him right back.

They pulled back from one another when Chim cleared his throat, but even then, they were only looking at one another, both completely oblivious to the awkward tension in the room.

“Uh, Buck, Eddie, are you gonna tell us—“

“What are you doing tonight?”

Buck blinked as Eddie cut right through Chim’s question, his cheeks pinking up a little bit even as he shrugged. “I don’t think I have any plans.”

Eddie’s smile could have lit the place ablaze, and Buck felt honored, not for the first time, that it was aimed at him, even as Eddie spoke again.

“Can I buy you a drink?”

#911 #buddie #buddiefic #evan buckley #edmundo diaz #this got so long and also got nothing done??? somehow?????? so I am sorry #they didn't even kiss wow what's wrong with me #flospeaks #mutually assured devotion