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#though it might take me like 2 days
ghosting-fox · 8 months
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you all know that audio from bladerunner? "you look lonely i can fix that"?? my brain wouldn't let me rest until i haven't drawn that with Sun n Moon
but jokes aside, really self-indulgent comic bc both Security Breach and Ruin came out when i was at a low point mentally and helped me greatly just be able to move forward and get through each day (and i won't even be getting into how much these 2 fictional robot jesters have helped me refind my passion for drawing)
i really hope that more people can relate to this :))
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puppyeared · 3 months
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for like 3 weeks i was wondering why i was sleeping so much and felt listless. and just now I managed to email 3 people and responded to a month old message in the span of an hour because I got back to TAKING MY FUCKIN MEDS..........
#MOTHER FFFFUCKER#to be fair. my doc said I could stop taking them while im on break since i wouldnt need to be constantly pumped on stimulants#im not sure if it was a side effect but i managed to take like 3 different naps in one day and STILL managed to sleep thru the whole night#at least 2 days into my break. the weird thing is i didnt feel more or less rested afterwards. but mentally i think im in a good place rn#to really put the level of awakeness im at rn i feel weirdly confident i could start one piece. also bc of that sick new opening it BANGS#the song is really good and im in love with the animation style. did some digging and it seems one of the lead animators is masato mori#but i could be wrong. it seems he also did some work on mp100 which could explain a lot lol.. he uses smear frames really well to convey#consistent movement and fluidity!!! someone else might have done color design but it works really really well esp with odas style!!#just love the overall vibe and aesthetic and id really love to study it and incorporate a bit of it into my art.. especially the thick#outlines which i think helps to separate characters and objects on screen. though i have to say the style is definitely more suited to#animation bc of the simpleness and smears. maybe that will help me explore shapes and perspective when i draw... i wanna get better#at drawing poses and angles but i have a hard time wrapping my head around space and using perspective guide lines NGHHHH#i wonder if it has to do with my dogshit ability to judge distance. not depth perception but like. judge how far smth is in metres etc#im also wearing an N95 for the first couple weeks back bc of the wave. absolutely NO BODY is wearing a mask its so fucking over#where im sitting ive heard 5 different people coughing probably not into their elbows!!! and im just. head in my fucking hands#there was a kid sitting a couple seats away in class coughing as he pleases and i wanted to grab him in a chokehold so badly. PLEASEE#ive been annoying my family by asking them to mask up and reminding them to bring masks when they go out and showing them news articles#but at least its working bc we ordered some KN95s and my mom is at least taking me seriously so. please dont be afraid to speak up abt your#health. take care of yourself and others however u can!! wear that mask indoors at your maskless friends house!!! stay home when u can!!#im wearing a surgical mask at home too bc my parents have '''a dry throat cough''' and they are so bad at coughing into their sleeves#also im pretty sure dry throat isnt transmissible bc my brother started coughing too so.. i also tested negative but they havent tested yet#im also not a doctor but i have to keep reminding ppl whenever i can that covid and flu work differently. covid is new and too recent to#have nearly as much research done on it. it seems its also compounding so instead of building immunity it weakens the body and spreads to#to other systems which might explain brain fog and muscle weakness. i remember someone early in the pandemic got infected and it messed up#their smell/taste receptors so bad that they cant eat most foods and that stays in the front of my mind when i think abt covid. christ#yapping
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pepprs · 4 months
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i had a scarily bad depression moment (if you catch my drift) at work on thursday during a meeting where the topic of conversation and the things ppl were saying were directly (and slightly intentionally?) contributing to my distress and im past that moment now but i feel so haunted by it. by the thoughts i was having and the fact that i had them and the fact that i was witnessed in that moment but they didn’t know how bad it was. and im also feeling vulnerable to being back in that place again
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eithernich · 10 days
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cave-monkey · 23 days
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Monkey King 2009 Episode 3
Them having Stone Monkey (apparently purely on instinct) constantly scratching while being introduced to the troop was pretty cool, since that's a legitimate deescalation behavior in monkeys. Something about how revealing stress acts as a bonding behavior and makes it less likely they'll be attacked. Humans do it too, kind of, when they rub at their hands or shoulders or neck (etc. etc.) when nervous or overwhelmed. ("Empathize with me! I am very stressed!").
Also something-something instinctive behaviors aside Stone Monkey being excited/overwhelmed/maybe a little overstimulated and choosing "ESCALATION!!!" as his response to all of that. He thinks the troop being scared of him is hilarious. He's scratching the fur off his arms but he's also going to get right up in your face anyway. Cautiously join him in admiring his cool new rock? He is going to play-lunge and also scream. Absolutely amazing. The troop has no idea what to do with these mixed signals. This kid is a menace and I love him.
Six Ears even gets in on the scratching behavior occasionally in the background, which might be because Stone Monkey actively terrorizing literally everyone trying to be playful (because he has the social skills of a literal, actual rock) is stressing Six Ears right out or it could be an attempt to deescalate on Stone Monkey's behalf. Monkey version of following in his new friend's wake throwing apologetic grimace-smiles at everyone. Possibly it's both. Point is: They included these behaviors and it's very fun.
You can also tell it worked because in just the journey to the cave you watch the four generals' views on Stone Monkey go from "uncanny valley horror entity lurking in the forest probably to kill us all" to "what a rude little kid >:| Emphasis on RUDE."
And, okay, I admit, I have softened my stance on the four generals. Somewhat. They seem to actually be taking their jobs seriously now. Maybe Episode 1 was a wake-up call and they won't utterly fail to notice an incursion until it's in the heart of their territory again. I don't want to go too crazy, but maybe they'll even be able to even muster a coherent response! Good for them.
Should probably still not be managing children, though.
Speaking of, Six Ears's increasing despair watching the train wreck in motion that was the four generals fumbling hard in giving Stone Monkey his very first etiquette lesson after he finally settled down and seemed willing to hear them out is also very relatable and hilarious. He knows they failed the test. Stone Monkey is definitely never going to listen to them again. They blew it. RIP Flower Fruit Mountain.
Stone Monkey does check in with Six Ears when he decides the generals are useless about explaining though, and that's pretty cute. He trusts his friend :) He also definitely internalizes that thing about having to ask to leave the presence of the king, so at least they managed to teach him some manners. ONE manners. A single manner. (Spoiler: They immediately regret this.)
But hey! This time Six Ears is left entirely to his own devices and still manages to get caught smack in the middle of enemy action. Not the Generals' fault for once! Six Ears just attracts this kind of thing, I guess.
3/3 Six Ears is Damsel-ed, but only 2/3 it's the adults' fault. The tally develops.
#also not gonna lie I first thought stone monkey might have hella fleas. he still might to be honest. someone check up on that.#mhw09 personal#squinting at old monkey king pretending to be asleep this episode#my guy you were definitely ACTUALLY out of it in episode 1 don't you be acting like you weren't#you passed out in the middle of an invasion and almost got your kid killed#the fact you managed to make it to your seat BEFORE you passed out so you could pretend you were just too cool for the LITERAL INVASION#doesn't mean a dang thing. you're not fooling me.#also. stop that. you are giving the troop SEVERELY mixed signals#I am easing up a liiiittle more on the generals since it seems the old monkey king is actively hiding and obfuscating the severity of his#condition from the very people who are presumably meant to help him shoulder the burden of leading the troop#no wonder they don't take him fretting about his age seriously: he's turning it into a joke himself#considering episode 1 and then here and also how much more energetic he seemed in episode 2#I'm headcanoning (if this isn't just straight up canon) that old monkey king has good days and bad days#but you can't tell which he's having because he uses his good days to turn all his bad day low energy behaviors#into games. it's all DELIBERATE guys. he's keeping you on your TOES. he isn't LITERALLY DYING-#hiding his weakness makes perfect sense on the *whole* in keeping his troop from panic and insecurity. maybe.#but it's not smart that he's even letting his generals believe it#they're still not off the hook for throwing a kid out to face the horror movie monster they were convinced was living in the woods though!#and it's no excuse for being THAT negligent in their duties and then their straight-up professional incompetence in episode 1#they let themselves get rusty and put everyone in danger and that's on them#but not being as much of a help to their king as they should be maybe isn't so much their fault#if they're being lied to about how much the old monkey king can actually handle. BY the old monkey king.#I GUESS#dang this troop is a total mess. I love it.
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jestercoven · 11 months
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when merch i buy of belos finally arrives i go batshit insane i just spent like 20 minutes running around outside jumping up and down cause i got STICKERS !!!! and im just staring at all of it with the GOOFIEST SMILE ON MY FACE its so !!!!??!!
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elegyofthemoon · 3 months
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no one asked but the music in argenti's quest was driving insane for a while and i was wondering why only to realize that they both sound very ff13-esque.
"Cosmic Sacrifice for Love" sounds like "Giant's Fist" by Naoshi Mizuta
"A Gentleman's Fantasy"... I can't even pinpoint exactly which Masashi Hamauzu song it sounds like BUT IT USES A LOT OF SIMILAR HAMAUZU MOTIFS AND ITS REALLY GOOD LMAO just like listen to "Blinded by Light" :)
#I WAS WONDERING WHY I WAS FIXATED ON THESE SONGS IN PARTICULAR I CRACKED THE CASE#THE CASE IS I HAVE NEVER MOVED ON FROM THIS GAME#i would ask to leave but unfortunately ff13 owns my soul and i don't really want to take it back#no this is not a push to make people play ff13 what hahaha hahahahaahahahhahah#nah i just. i miss ff13. but whats new LAKSJDHLFADSKJHLKJH#like every other day ill go 'man i miss ff13' and do nothing about it. bc i really cant#i MEAN TECHNICALLY YES I CAN BC BY IMPULSE I DOWNLOADED THE GAME /AGAIN/ GUESS WHY GO ON LMAO#but yeah#no anyways if you do like those songs i recommend masashi hamauzu ^7^ he makes such good songs#im not too much of a fan of naoshi mizuta i think... but i mean some of the songs in ff13-2 are super good#most of the ost is a little. funky though#but he did also make promptos theme? home sweet home? i think?#bro that song makes me baaaawl its very very beautiful but thats bc i do really likethe sound of cello myeheh#no one asked for the ff13/hsr ramble yet here i am :) ✨✨✨✨#i just thinkitd be funny if they looked into ff13 for inspiration for the ost 👀theyd get a + from me for that#i just wanted to share ff13 music. or. share. ff13 anything really. hi <3#hahahaha now if they did a wittle more and pulled more hamauzu style songs for penacony ? eheheheh <3 i think i might have found my favorit#favorite place <3 i already kinda see the potential for it being to my liking BUT WE SHALL SEE#okay im done rambling HI !!!#snow plays hsr#... should i tag my ff13 rambles?#i guess lmao#snow plays ff13#i feel like a different song sounds more like cosmic sacrifice for love but that was the first thing that came to mind probably bc#the only things that ever stick in my brain in ff13-2 is yaschas massif 10 af 😗😗
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yesyourstalker · 5 months
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Warabi: .............*sigh*................... Neta are you awake?
Neta:............................
Warabi: ....... You want to start where we left off....heheheh..
Neta: ............................
Warabi: Neta you were asleep....... You didn't even know it was me... It's just a dream... You thought I was your dead childhood friend........ If that's not a mood killer ....
Neta: ......................
Warabi: You know ikkan if you tell him the truth he'll understand ........... really.. just tell him what happened he'll appreciate the honesty. You know that............ Stop worrying so much
Neta:..............ok......
Warabi:...............*sigh*...... goodnight
_______________________________________________neta:................ hello? Ikkan
Ikkan: hi.......
Neta: is something wrong?
Ikkan: I was going to ask the same thing......................
Neta:........................
Ikkan:...................….......…... So what's wrong?
Neta:.... IkissedWarabi
Ikkan: I know
Neta.... I'm sorry I didn't mean it..... I was asleep..... You know I have weird dreams....especially when I'm stressed or anxious...... I'm sorry....
Ikkan: Neta
Neta: I would never hurt internally.....*crying*..... You do so much me... I'm sorry..... I can't imagine life without you..... I love ikkan....*crying*
Ikkan:........................ Neta.... babe..... Please stop crying.... so.......loud...
Neta: ........*sniff*..... What?......
Ikkan: I know that you kissed Warabi.....he called..... pulpo dream?...
Neta: yeah.......I'm sorry
Ikkan:........ It's ok... Hehe..... You've had that dream before.... kissed me many times......
Neta:...................................oh... Ok........you still love me?
Ikkan: I do........... Are you okay?
Neta: I'm fine
Ikkan: .are you taking your meds?
Neta: yes.............................. just not...............consistently ...............
Ikkan:..........................................
Neta: Yes I know I need to fix that........ so what's wrong with you? You don't sound good.... How's the store?
Ikkan:...... Talk more about that later......... it's fine.... it's closed, I didn't open it today.... it's been closed for 2 days.... I............. I can't deal with people.....the mall lights give me a headache..... The food court smells terrible....... Customers are annoying.........I just closed I just told mahi to come to work when you're back .......... I'm sorry....I know you're losing money that way but I can't..... Running the store and my classes on top of it. You weren't there and I was worried
Neta: it's ok..... Are you okay now?
Ikkan: no.................... How was the mission?
Neta: It was good. You know a typical mission. mostly just played cards....................... your mom is walking this way you want me to-
Ikkan: love you bye
Neta: ok bye I love y- oh..... Colonel Kane
Koi-koi: his sweetie......(leaning in).... if someone tells me you were kissing another man again....... It will be your life. Do you understand?
Neta:.......*sweating*..... Yes ma'am
Koi-koi: good....... . They have cake in the cafeteria celebrating our big catch. Have some, saved you a nice corner piece [peck]
_______________________________________________
Mhai: he kissed you!?!
Warabi: yep
Mahi: with tongue and everything
Warabi: Yeah with tongue and everything, I had to turn him down unfortunately. What can I say I'm a heartbreaker..
Mahi: yeah right.....deel like you're twisting this
Warabi: is it hard to believe that he would fall in love with me??
Mahi:....... .............................................
Warabi: .................*sigh*......he was sleeping....
Mahi: yeah I can believe that
Warabi: asshole
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Neta: no .... Thanks for the invite but I'm not really up for wahoo land.... Yes work starts...... You know what? Work can start in 2 days.... Give you a couple of days off to spend with warabi..... Yep..... mizole is fired?... Looks like I owe Candi money bye ................*sigh*............. I'm home!
Cirrina: dad! [Hug]
Neta: hey baby girl! Oof ...Don't hug too hard... Still a little sore heheh [kiss]................. where's ikkan?
Cirrina: he's out..... He said he needed to get something
Neta: ok......*yawn* I'm going to take a nap for now.. .. [kiss] heheh ok Cici
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Neta: ........*snoring*............. Nnnnnn mnn..... What's that smell?
Ikkan: it's wonton soup... .
Neta: babe......... [Hug]..... Why didn't you wake me?
Ikkan: I just got back.... I just had to pick up some food and some other stuff......... You sleep well?.... you've been out for well over 5 hours....[Kiss]
Neta: honestly the best sleep I've had in 5 days.....* Stretch*.............is that crab stuffed dumplings.. and... The fried rice has a fried egg on top of fried rice? they only have that at jelly wok.... That's near your house....
Ikkan: why do you think it took so long?
Neta: ikkan.... you didn't have to have all of that....[kiss]
Ikkan: I know I wanted to...... You sounded like shit on the phone... wanted to make you feel a little better... I also bought a new weighted blanket, white noise machine... Some green #24 ink dye........ I also...... picked up your prescriptions..... That hasn't been picked up in a week..................
Neta:....................
Ikkan:.........*sigh*....... I don't want to lecture you on your mental health but... you need to start taking responsibility and be consistent.... they only work when you take them...... you've been really worrying me this past couple of months...
Neta: I'm sorry ........ you're right...I'll do better.....
Ikkan: I hope so....... I have to leave in a couple days when you visit I hope I see some difference..... [Kiss].......
Neta: [kiss]........ hey I'm still in my uniform.... I might need some help after we eat
Ikkan: I can assist you with that.... hehehehe [kiss]
Neta:.... I love you
Ikkan....... I love you too.. [kiss]..... Don't kiss him again
Neta: ok
_______________________________________________
I heard Mahi was talking shit about @fish-at-fish-fish-resort but you didn't hear that from me
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spider-man-2o99 · 11 months
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“damn you're such a pretentious bitch you must get SO upset whenever you're wrong about stuff huh” INCORRECT i actually love being Wrong because my gut instincts about Everything Ever are deeply cynical and bitter after a childhood where they Needed To Be to Survive and im actively working to unlearn that shit now that i am safe and an adult. you fucking fool. being Wrong is a part of learning and growing, and anybody who insists that they are Never Wrong, Ever, and who refuses to own up to Being Wrong when it inevitably Happens really doesn't deserve your trust at all.
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merevide · 7 months
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how it feels to post a sad music link and get over 2 likes
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right. so. i meant to be writing the thasmissy fic. i did not do that but
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i can explain
#hit over the head with the obsession baseball bat#hit SO hard i think i have a concussion#i might actually be more excited for the mcr us tour in 2 months than dw now this is BLASPHEMY dsfhgkjfhg#nuts this is the quickest a special interest has ever taken hold of me it usually takes like. a season#bc it's usually tv so it usually takes the first season. it took all of s12 in 2020#but this was like... last sunday i told my sister like 'you know gerard way? theyre kinda cool maybe'#and this sunday i was painting the biggest painting ive ever done and it’s THEIR FACE#one week ago i was like 'idk i want to like it but this music is really not my genre' and two days later i was listening to it all day#a wEEK#like unfollow me now this is gonna be the only thing i talk about for the next week#actually no thats not true ive got nothing interesting to say about mcr#i did expect/hope to wean myself off of dw but i didnt expect it to get so violently replaced by something else#better than having nothing for a bit tbh#anyway it's not really replaced either im still writing fic and making videos#and i dont think mcr is gonna become a real special interest bc it has the obstacle of having real people so i cant get too involved#so it’ll just stay a fling i think. i Am excited for new music though. im excited for the old music!#i think the obsession will pass soon tho. fucking hope so this is the worst. im so annoying abt this#but for as long as it lasts it at least has produced maybe the best painting ive ever done. i think this might be the best#aND IT WAS SO FUN do you know how much fun it is to paint this big?? im never painting anything small ever again#also i Have actually been slowly working on a scene this past week in my notes app but it’s absolutely unnecessary thoschei octopus sex#like what i SHOULD be doing is loadbearing scenes to fill in the plot gaps. what i AM doing is more of the this.#more of the garbage that needs Connecting#anyway i didnt paint the mic bc i couldnt be bothered. i like painting faces and hands i dont care about objects sorry#hashtag artistic choice#mcrposting
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orcelito · 1 year
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of all things, seeing goro and sumi interact makes me wanna work on the next ladue chapter more than anything else the past like 2 weeks
Wild
#speculation nation#brain is just 'vashwood vashwood vashwood vashwood vashwood' etc etc etc#endless reading of trigun fanfic. no time for my own writing endeavors#but. im so close to finishing chapter 3 of ladue... so close... i just need to get back into it#... not rn tho. or the next few days probs. not a good time.#honestly tho it's making me remember how good writing is for my health overall#bc when i want to write i Have to take care of my health. get proper sleep & eat regularly & dont drink alcohol#bc i have to be in tip top condition to have writing brain. it keeps me in line.#the past week and a half has just been me Relentlessly pursuing my current hyperfixations#to the point of neglecting my health. case and point: me getting 3 hours of sleep for NO fucking reason (aside from trigun focus)#writing brain hasnt mattered so ive only been eating one or two meals a day. and ive been drinking a bit more often#though that also might be bc of my mental state 🤔 still no more than 2 drinks at a time#but ive gone from drinking Maybe once a month to like once a week. if not more often.#idk. it's meant as a relaxing kinda thing. god knows i need the stress relief. but it's still not great for me.#i still havent done my dishes and my fingernails r too long but i have no energy to trim them#aka. the experience of being actively in the throes of a hyperfixation is both Wonderful and terrible. my body is falling apart!#and this is with TWO!!!!! hyperfixations. trigun is definitely the more powerful but the fe:engage is there too#im. gonna go to bed early tonight. i have therapy in the morning :P#aka this is my 'i am alive' post but like only barely lmfao. ugh im so fucked with this lab.
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meownotgood · 1 year
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Omg if tumblr doesn’t release you from the shackles of shadow ban could you possible just make a side account? 👀
I may end up doing that, but it's only going to be a last resort..... for now, I'll continue as normal on this blog. if tumblr keeps me in prison for more than a few weeks, then I'll consider switching over to another blog. I don't really care about the engagement my smaller drabbles get since I mostly write those for myself, but I'll hold off on posting any big projects until the issue is resolved or I've moved over to another blog
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essence0fsilence · 7 months
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Goddamn. Hurricane Lee better curve his ass up along that coastline. The outlying models have it nailing us dead on.
I don't think I've ever seen a storm strengthen that fast. And it’s still so far out.
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airenyah · 11 months
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so you're telling me my boys daonuea and khabkluen are coming back to me next week already?? 🥺🥺🥺
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elytrafemme · 1 year
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friends :D also. also. i am literally so attractive right now Please know this. i kept checking myself out in the mall mirrors and my gf was like... what are you doing and i was like oh i need to fix my hair ^_^ which is true my hair isn’t spectacular right now but if it was any better i think i would kneel down to kiss the water you know 
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